#Sorry I can't help with those pieces as I am not a psychiatrist and am not comfortable getting involved like that

[the-lightning-strikes-again]

I'd love to see Lotura get a happy ending.

Hi, anon--SAME. Although what if I told you...a version of one exists in old Voltron canon? In the DDP Comic of Voltron, called A Legend Forged, Lotor and team Voltron accidentally travel 1,200 years into the past and ally to defeat the evil regime run by Lotor's great-great (lots of greats) grandmother. In it, Lotor helps to save Allura from being corrupted by an evil magical entity, and his love for her helps to save the day and Voltron too!

I know it's not the same as the lotura setup in VLD, but it was fun to see Lotor ally with Team Voltron and have it all end well. Lots of snarky, sassy Lotor too. If you're still feeling down, maybe it could help!

Lotura fandom's also got some great art and fics that explore different AUs of what a happy ending could be. I hope exploring those can help as well.

Thanks for the note!

[theinfernalcollective]

Hey, so, I hope it's okay to ask you questions about DID/DID-related things! And I apologize for the long message in advance.

First of all, a trigger warning for talking about dissociation, trauma (no details) and memory loss. But also one for mention of alcohol (over-)consumption further below (marked with a + in front of it)

So I am not professionally or self diagnosed. I know there's dissociation going on and it has been confirmed by my therapist, but neither of us have much experience with dissociative disorders in general.

I have extensive childhood trauma, some of which I can remember. Most other stuff I can't think about without getting dizzy and nauseous with headaches. Even when I remember bits and pieces, they soon disappear from my memory. All that's left is the knowledge I remembered something.

There was a time (when I was living with a friend) I would notice a lot of gaps in my recent memory, and I've been told I introduced myself with different names sometimes (I vaguely remember that part) or "not act like myself". To this day my friends keep bringing up things we did without me knowing of them at all.

However, that... went away? Once I lived alone again. Or at least I thought so. I still have lots of memory issues and dissociate frequently, but not to that extent at all.

+ (tw) I get drunk with friends online roughly once per week, sometimes less. And I would often black out from that. What confused me was when I started drinking way less during those times, and still blacked out - but only for a little while.

So i.e. I would remember most of the night, including me going to bed, only to later realize while going through my messages that there was a gap in my memory. Usually I'm in an entirely different mood from what I recall myself feeling that night without knowing what might have caused any of it.

I suppose my question is if I'm overreacting? I don't really believe I have to have DID. But I can't stop thinking about it, even though I know it could be so many other things, including my general trauma.

Right now I'm thinking of asking my therapist if he could refer me to someone with more knowledge than him for a one time appointment, but I don't want to be known as a "faker" when it turns out none of my worries were real.

I'm sorry you've been going through all of that. Your best bet is definitely reaching out to a therapist or psychiatrist knowledgeable in dissociative disorders as they'll most likely be able to help alot more.

I definitely don't want to armchair diagnose but it sounds like dissociative amnesia, best of luck to you my friend, and don't worry about being known as a "faker" your seeking support and help for what you've been experiencing, fakers won't seek support or help. - Vesper <3

[globodamorte]

...is jeongdo planting memories in seongbin's head. hear me out.

ok first of all I literally almost threw up reading this episode. the music was a cool touch but the way jeongdo was pressing seongbin like "I need to humiliate him" "he's thinking he's better than us bc were being slandered by the media" (which btw way to make your personal feelings seep into the investigation asshole. the media is slandering y'all bc y'all are incompetent pigs. like. sometimes I thought I was going too far with jeongdo's obsession with seongbin but this confirms it for me. he's making it personal. he's making it about himself) "I need to come up with something doesn't matter if I'm wrong" "you were scared of being just like your mother" idk felt so icky to me. literally how dare you talk about his mother like that. how dare you bring up his abuse and purposefully trigger him.

"uuuhh but investigation tactics" if purposefully triggering trauma in people is investigation tactics then they're are abusive end of story lmao fuck off. there's ways to interrogate people without traumatizing them.

anyway.

we know seongbin said "I don't think I would do that". this highly indicates he doesn't remember killing anyone.

God fucking dammit I can't write properly I'm just so disappointed. I hate this lmao

anyway wtf was I saying. yeah he doesn't remember much and so the pressure of a policeman saying "we know what happened even though you don't" can fr just. make seongbin accept those "memories" as the truth. jeongdo may be literally gaslighting seongbin into believing that he did it.

like. idk how relatable this is. but yk that feeling when you don't know if something that seemed to have happened in your childhood actually happened or if it was a dream? also sometimes when I'm asked to recall something I don't remember, often I'll think "I can imagine/see myself doing this" but I'll still not know for certain. does that make sense? now imagine this feeling while being under severe mental distress

what I mean is seongbin is not in the right state of mind to be able to say for certain that he's remembering things. also jeongdo kept pressing and triggering him of course he'll not be stable enough to think properly. his mom just died too and the pigs that tased him are shit talking her.

I'm seriously so upset I might cry. bashi I'm gonna grab your foot when you're asleep.

I'm also so pissed at jeongdo fr IDC anymore. fucking pig I hope he chokes on mud

everyone in this webtoon is an unreliable narrator. so I can safely say that no, we can't be sure those "memories" are even real they could just be jeongdo's re-imagining of the murder

I hope maybe Dr. ju intervenes somehow. as the psychiatrist I hope she can do something. isn't this a thing like in trials? where you can object bc they're inducing the person to think/answer in a specific way? maybe she'll intervene bc his testimony won't be reliable idk whatever

I don't know what to say. this doesn't feel satisfying. the puzzle pieces seem to be falling into place but I keep thinking "this can't be it... it's too easy"

I can only hold on to the hope that I'm right on my meta analysis of the series as a whole and boy if I am right... oh boy...

but on the other hand I literally can't help but think that something's wrong. and idk maybe it's because I keep thinking there's No Way they'll go through this cliched overused and most of all offensive and ableist route. but what if they do? what then lol I'm seriously so sad

I can't even joke about how if there's a twist and it's not seongbin then I'll suck bashi so silly and sloppy like i feel defeated. they're torturing me they don't deserve my tornado blowjob... not now at least. even if bashi defeats the ableist allegations they won't defeat the psychological torturer ones 😔

to the one person who reads these. I'm so sorry this is so messy

[serialreblogger]

some of your post/reblogs were so relatable to me that more and more I think I may have ADHD (I'm like, at least 70% sure of this and the 30% is me searching for a psychiatrist/therapist that I can trust/afford, anyway) so, since your how to essay post Im talking myself to ask if you have some study tips or tips to focus, anything to help, really. I'm in college and I can't focus to read 2 paragraphs which makes me anxious and makes me procrastinate because I can't study and I HAVE to study so I avoid everything but then I think NOW I have even less time to study and I got stuck in this circle. And because I can't read anything I also cant bullshit my way writing papers that I have to so I don't do this too, so I'm just spiraling more and more with this which also doesn't help with the depression. And I'm so, so SORRY to dump my problems on you (this isn't my intention here) but if you have some tips or don't mind talking about what you do to study I really appreciate it with all my heart.

oh friend, i’m so sorry to hear you’re goin through that, it’s EXTREMELY relatable tho. everything you just wrote basically sums up my entire first year of university (just add in a couple dozen spiralling panic attacks on the basement floor and you’ll be me), and while i wish i had advice i could promise would solve the issue, i don’t... know? that i would recommend doing exactly what i did? because while i made it through university with ridiculously good grades, i also exacerbated a pre-existing anxiety disorder to the point where i literally could not bear being alive for a while there.

but for whatever it’s worth, and bearing in mind that you need to prioritize your own well-being WAY above whatever grades you get on a stupid piece of paper, here’s some tips on how to get through course readings, based on what i’ve learned through blood, tears, trial and error:

don’t read the full two paragraphs, to start. ADHD makes reading academic articles hell, but (and i genuinely don’t know if this is possible for anyone else, the chemical cocktail of debilitating anxiety that was my brain at the time made me do things i otherwise couldn’t and definitely shouldn’t) i did manage to finagle a way to make it work for me.

See, the thing about academic papers is that they’re very nicely organized. every paragraph is dedicated to making an individual point, which is introduced at the beginning and summarized, more or less, towards the end. this means you can get a very handy-dandy trick, because here’s the thing about ADHD brains: we’re VERY GOOD at making connections.

so here’s the trick: you don’t actually have to read the paragraphs. Not the full ones, anyway.

Let’s break it down:

First, what is the overall reading meant to address? What’s the title of the book or article? Is there a heading or subtitle to provide you with extra information?

Second, what is the thesis statement in your paragraph? Yes, every essay has a thesis statement, but every paragraph also has a specific point to make, which is stated in a sort of mini-thesis, typically right at the beginning.

Once you know this thesis statement, the rest of the paragraph is just fleshing out and providing evidence for that statement. You can keep reading if you need more information to understand what the author’s getting at, but once you’ve got that thesis statement, the rest is just there to get in your way.

For neurotypicals, I think, it’s maybe necessary to read this stuff all the way through? I don’t know. What I do know is that, for ADHDers, we tend to be very, very good at making extrapolations from very minimal information, based on all the surrounding context.

You don’t need to do the full readings. You just need to read the first sentence, process what it’s saying, and skip over the rest.

(if the first sentence of the paragraph is nonsense to you, don’t panic. often the first sentence or even the whole introductory paragraph is intentionally confusing, so if there’s something you don’t understand, disregard it and move on to the second sentence, or the next paragraph.

this happens often, because a lot of academic writing is just a power play on the part of the writer. “Look How Smart I Am Compared To You, You Have To Work So Hard To Figure Out What I’m Saying,” etc. Don’t buy it, tho--the true measure of intelligence isn’t how thoroughly you can confuse someone else, it’s how effectively you can share the knowledge you have. Intelligence is useless if you can’t share it.

Do whatever you can to make it through essential readings, but don’t be intimidated by them. If you can’t understand them, it’s not because you aren’t “smart enough,” it’s because they’re badly written.)

Final notes: this process is meant to walk you through reading papers, but it also lowkey applies to a lot of insurmountable tasks in academia.

You look at a 5-page paper, look at your attention span, and immediately despair because yeah, that’s impossible. The solution is not to expand your attention span, because that’s also impossible. So, instead, don’t look at the 5 pages.

Look at an impossible task, and break it down into its smallest pieces.

Don’t look at the 5 pages, don’t even look at the first two paragraphs. Make a plan for how reading a single paragraph might be possible for you (in this case, break the paragraph down into its own components, and skim over most of them in favour of reading only the most necessary portions). Then focus on finding those one or two sentences you need in the very first paragraph. That’s doable.

You do that, and then you move onto the next.

It’s extremely difficult, especially for ADHDers, to limit your mental vision to the most immediate task and stop looking at the big picture, but it’s also necessary. If you can find a way to make the smallest tasks possible for you, you can break the big, impossible ones down until they’re made of tiny chores. You can do tiny chores. You can read one sentence, take five minutes to process it, but you can read it. That’s all you need to be able to do.

Read one sentence. Skip the rest. Move on to the next paragraph. Repeat.

That’s the real secret, the one that got me through university. It’s impossible to complete a biology lab, it’s impossible to read this entire interminable textbook, so don’t think about the impossible tasks. Think about the single step directly in front of you, focus entirely on that, and eventually, the impossible tasks will be done.

(The other thing I recommend is not taking a full courseload. Please, please, please make sure that in addition to getting your schoolwork done, you also have enough time left over for you to truly relax, and not feel guilty for doing so. If you’re getting intrusive thoughts halfway through an essay, but instead of terrible things you’re thinking about your latest favourite TV show and feel like your brain is thirsty to watch it? You’re working too hard. Take it from someone who ignored their own mental needs until it wrecked them past the point of continuing--burnout is not fun, and you deserve to protect yourself from it. Take it slow. Your wants are just as important as your needs, and both are way more important than your schoolwork.)

[vivithefolle]

(From Aspie Anon, 1/2) No issue whatsoever! Not everyone reads Hermione as aspie, and that's okay! You being critical is helpful to me, you know; perceptions are complicated. Logic prevails all except when it's her emotions sounds aspie to *me*, but it can and should also be read as something else. The narration forgiving Hermione reminds me a lot of how people think: ASD = can't be wrong or can't change what is wrong. It is harmful and keeps us from growing as people.

(From Aspie Anon, 2/2) I always heard that JKR showed favoritism to Hermione because she's her self-insert, and Ron was a childhood friend she liked. A lot reads as revenge porn, to punish a boy because he didn't like her the way her prewritten scenarios said he should. Sorry, making a lot of links to ASD, I'll stop now. Keep doing critical pieces!  I identify with Hermione but I love myself some burning hot takes on problematic behaviour!  Last thing: can I ask why you hate autism headcanons? 

Many neurotypicals can also willfully blind themselves to facts because they’re too attached to their perception of the facts - perceptions that they are emotionally attached to and are unwilling to correct. In short, “the only things that matter are me and my feelings” aren’t just Aspie things, they’re Just Human Things :)

Huh, maybe it’s different where I am - or in the Internet circles I frequent - but I’ve often seen stuff like “can autistic people feel things?” or “why are autistic people mean?”... yeah we’ve still a loooong way to go before achieving equality...

But it is true that just because our brain is wired differently, it doesn’t mean we can’t grow up, too! People have been known to change their lives and make complete 180° on the person they were before, and that goes for neurotypical and neuroatypical folks. We’re all capable of change. ... except Draco Malfoy because fuck him.

You are very right, honestly when you read the HP series with the fact that Hermione = Rowling and Ron = friend she crushed on, you tell yourself... “yeah he sure dodged a bullet there”... pffoah...

As for why I don’t like autistic headcanons as a whole... It just doesn’t sit well with me. I’m nowhere near being a confirmed psychiatrist or doctor, so I don’t feel comfortable assigning people - even fictional people - labels or psychological problems.

I can say that Ron has depression because I’ve experienced depression myself and Ron shows clear symptoms of it - starting from GOF. I am comfortable with saying Ron is depressed because I have some confidence in that statement.

We can say that Harry is suffering from PTSD in OOTP and hardly anyone would disagree, because it’s a logical conclusion and he exhibits symptoms of it.

We could say that Hermione has anxiety, because she exhibits symptoms of it. Her terror over her exams results, her reluctance to admit failure, her getting huffy and impatient whenever she can’t get something right... she’s a very frayed woman, the poor thing.

We could say that Ron is dyslexic, since there are a few scenes in the books that can be interpreted this way - naturally Rowling wrote those scenes probably as an example of “haha Ron drools Hermione roolz” but it is our privilege as readers to claim those scenes as our own and make them into something better - with Ron reading only comics (pictures are easier to read than words), his using a spell-checking quill, or his not managing to decipher the HBP’s handwriting.

We could say that Hermione is on the autistic spectrum, which would explain some of her behaviours - not realizing she hurt others’ feelings, having a hard time relating to people, psychoanalyzing people like she’s reading from a textbook rather than just... ask them how they are - but those behaviours shouldn’t be excused by autism. No two autistic folks are the same, and while one may identify with Hermione and think she’d be on the autism spectrum, another wouldn’t.

It just makes me uncomfortable to heacanon things like autism about characters. Because autism isn’t just a little quirk, it’s literally how your brain works. No two brains are the same, but an autistic brain and a neurotypical brain especially differ greatly, which is why it’s very difficult to write about one when you’re the other.

As it is, headcanoning is all well and good, but so help me God if someday Rowling tries to say that Hermione was canonically autistic I will  R I O T.

[quietborderlineinfo]

Hi I have a question or want your perspective on something please. So I've seen myself in other people's descriptions of bpd for a long time. My t thinks I might have it. If I have it it's the quiet type. But there's just some things that I can't see fitting? Or understand how they would be "quiet"? And some of the criteria I only experience very rarely or with certain people. 1/?

alright hey stargazer!

i can totally appreciate how much thought and detail you’ve put into this - i remember being in that place, and its so confusing and frustrating and frankly exhausting. breathe; from what youve said it sounds like your T is paying close attention and wants the best for you. over time, you’ll figure out what diagnosis & treatment(s) may work for you. until then, just focus on getting better one step at a time.

keep in mind that below i just discuss how the things you said relate to the diagnostic criteria, but no one here can diagnose you. definitely talk to your T (and if theyre not a psychiatrist, try to talk to one of those if you have access to a good one, since theyre more inclined to diagnose, in my experience)

also remember that you only need 5/9 for a diagnosis - so two people w bpd may have only 1 overlapping symptom. (so if you dont see yourself in everything you read, thats normal)

For instance 1 (frantically avoid abandonment) only w/ 2 relationships I’ve ever had, and these are more feelings than actions I take 2 (pattern unstable intense relationships) I’ve only had one significant relationship in my life and it was very intense and unstable, but I have no history of it but I also have no history of what I would call “close” relationships. I’m mostly avoidant of them) 2/?

1 & 2: saaame. i once asked a T if never letting yourself feel close to people was a form of attempting to avoid abandonment, and was told that it can be, if that’s why you do it. it can be hard to figure out why you do something you may have always done though, so it helps to both try to analyze past experiences and definitely to try to look at your feelings and how they’re motivating you as you go forward.

I’m not sure on the whole feelings vs actions thing; ask your T cause i think there can be a lot of grey area. and for #2, i had the same experience too; everyone who treated me seemed to think that the one relationship was enough evidence, i guess considering that avoidant behaviour. 

3 (id disturbance) I’m not sure exactly how this manifests or is separate from depersonalization. Like I don’t feel real when I try to engage in hobbies. I only exist when I’m doing things with others and then I feel fake and two dimensional (but this is getting a lot better and I’m afraid that means the symptom isn’t real) I’m not sure of my own hobbies and I have no internal motivations or knowledge base to make my own decisions. 3/?

. I can hardly tell right from wrong a lot of the time and use clues from others to help me. And I can change depending on the people I’m around. Is that what this means? This isn’t all things but some things 4 I am not in the slightest impulsive except if you count the impulsive texts I would send to that one intense relationship to make sure she didn’t hate me every few weeks 4/?

3. so depersonalization is a type of dissociation, so that’d fall under criterion 9. symptoms can get better and that absolutely doesn’t mean that you are now or have ever been faking; remission of symptoms with time and/or therapy is actually more likely than not. not knowing right from wrong is interesting cause at first i thought that was entirely unrelated, but realized it could come from not having an internalized moral system, which would definitely sound relevant.

what does fit the description is both not being sure of your hobbies (esp since it sounds like means youre not sure of what you enjoy/care about?), and changing depending on the people you’re around (if you feel like its more of an internal change than say, changing from business-appropriate speech patterns to something more casual when around friends vs at work).

the wiki page describes ID disturbance really well i think, but if you still have questions, definitely send them your T’s/our way.

4. neither am i, and i was still diagnosed. some people seem to think that it’s one criterion that has to be met though. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ it is possible that it manifests only very specifically, like w me I’m only impulsive w self-harm or recklessly crossing the street.

5 (self harm) I’ve cut in the past but I can go years without cutting, but the urge to cut will always surface every few weeks whether I act on it or not 6 (affective instability) not sure I understand this. My emotions are so intense that I have a hard time doing anything but engaging in avoidant behaviors. Focusing on school and work is extremely difficult around my thoughts and feelings, Is that what this means? I can change really quickly too based on one thought or one outside occurrence5/?

Hi stargazer anon again. Sorry I’m all over the place with this I just get confused. So missing might be the part that addressed diagnostic criteria #7. basically yes I experience emptiness. I think The end of message 5 is relating to diagnostic criteria #6 (instability of mood) and message 7 is relating to diagnostic criteria #8 (anger). Sorry it’s a mess. But I don’t think there is anything important in the missing piece. I was just going through each symptom and comparing my experience w/ it

5. that certainly counts! (proud of you for keeping it to a minimum, hope you’re working w your T to eliminate it entirely!)

6. “Patients often describe affective instability as an “emotional roller coaster” that relates to a subjective sense of strong affects and emotions experienced in an uncomfortable, rapid sequence.”

what you described sounds intense, and to clarify the changeability i think it can have a lot to do with reacting really strongly to things in the environment/in relationships. you didnt talk too much about the changes, so id say it sounds like this likely fits, but warrants more discussion just to clarify.

7. aight √

But i don’t get angry at people usually. I used to have this pattern of withdrawing from my relationships because I was convinced they didn’t really like me and I wanted to see if they would come talk to me to sort of “test them” but knowing the whole time that I was a horrible person who didn’t deserve their love anyway and if they didn’t really love me then I didn’t deserve it (though have gotten way better at this with therapy). Is that what is meant by the cold shoulder? 7 I think/?

8. see idk, it’s possible that that’s anger for you, but it sounds like you’ll wanna think more about it. i think cold shoulder is more about refusing to engage someone because you are upset at them. to me, what you described sounds more like fear than anger, but only you can know that. idk about other quiet borderlines but for most of my life I’ve had anger far repressed 🤔

9. (for the sake of completion) depersonalization, which you mentioned in part 2, is a kind of dissociation

Sorry for this essay if not ok just ignore and delete. Sorry I’m just having a hard time cause so much of this feels like me but then so many of the hallmarks don’t at all, or only rarely appear. I think I have aVpd too and it makes it hard to know because some symptoms cloud each other. Thanks can please tag stargazer if you do answer it? 8/8 I think it was?

sorry for taking so long to respond! yeah its useful to have a full discussion with a psychiatrist about this especially when multiple disorders are in question. also remember that as much as we may seek the sense of identity labels can give us, you dont need to fit something specific to have valid pain that deserves to be treated and warrants a break from work.

please let us know if you have any follow-up questions. good luck - it’ll get easier with time & work!

[nostalgebraist-autoresponder]

Tell me a story about Batman eating soap.

Dr. Estragon had finally lost patience with all the posturing, and had given up any pretense of civility.

"So let me get this straight, Mr. Wayne," he said. "You don't just talk with the voices. You actually act it. You run a criminal empire as a hobby. You murder dozens, perhaps hundreds, of people for sport. And when you're not murdering people for sport, you're spending your days playing video games. I suppose your wife doesn't make you breakfast, or help out in the home?"

"If I wanted someone to make me breakfast I'd have gotten a girlfriend," said Bruce. "My wife has always made me breakfast."

Dr. Estragon was so angry now that the anger began to look like genuine physical pain. His shoulders were shaking, and his hands were clenched into little fists as he fought to restrain himself from breaking something.

"You're so full of shit you have to see a psychiatrist just to talk about your delusions, Mr. Wayne! You're delusional! You're fucking paranoid!"

"The fuck I am," Bruce snapped. "I'm having hallucinations again."

Dr. Estragon's face was now a mask of pure, open, naked fury. He turned to his computer and punched some buttons.

"And look," he said, holding up the video feed of Wayne Enterprises' latest ad campaign, "these people are perfectly normal. They're not the least bit strange in any way."

"That's no hallucination," said Bruce. "I can see those people on TV. They're not fucking weird. Just like you're not fucking weird. You should be ashamed of yourself. You have no right to be angry at anyone. You're insane! We're talking about people who were already dead! How could you say anything bad about them, after you talked to them on the afterlife, you crazy fucking piece of shit?!"

Dr. Estragon ignored the tirade. He just sat down at his desk, put his head in his hands, and looked at the ad for a while without saying anything. Then he looked up at Bruce.

"You should leave," he said. "Right now. You don't belong here."

Bruce stared at him. "No, I don't. I don't belong here."

"I'm not going to argue," said Dr. Estragon. "I'm just going to sit here and watch you destroy yourself, so that you can feel better. So you can feel less alone."

"I'm not alone. I've got a fucking team."

"You can't trust them," said Dr. Estragon.

"Why not?"

"I can't talk to you about that," said Dr. Estragon. "Just get out, okay? Please."

Bruce stood up and walked over to the window. From this angle he could look down at the plaza, where a large crowd of people had gathered and was being led by some men in dark suits.

"I'd stay with you, if you wanted me to," he said.

"That's not your decision," said Dr. Estragon.

Bruce sighed. "No, I guess not. Sorry, doctor. It was a long time ago. I don't know what I'd do, if I was here. I guess you've never seen me as a friend. I'm sorry."

"Fuck off," said Dr. Estragon, with a tired look. "The doors will be locked as soon as you leave."

* * *

Estragon, for his part, was pleased with what he'd done. He'd gotten his revenge in a way he could never have hoped for before: by making Bruce Wayne leave the room.

He'd tried and tried before to get Dr. Estragon to talk to Bruce Wayne. It was difficult in the beginning, back when things were still good between them. And yet now here it was, finally successful: by speaking as bluntly as he dared, saying only what needed to be said. By letting Bruce Wayne leave this room. By removing any pretense that they were friends or were going to be friends. By making him realize, once and for all, just how terrible a person he was.

But it was a bit disconcerting how easy it had gone. How much he'd been able to get Bruce Wayne to say simply by making him realize, once and for all, just how bad things really were.

Of course it was a bit disconcerting: this was a side to Dr. Estragon he hadn't been looking for, but hadn't expected.

He'd known Bruce was getting worse, as time went on. He'd certainly had good reason to be concerned about that, considering what had happened with the last psychiatrist. And yet he hadn't expected things to get so bad as quickly as this. And now he had the feeling that the worst is still yet to come.

Now, more than ever, this new and terrible side of Dr. Estragon worried him.

And now there was another worry: was there something wrong with his drugs? Was there some substance hidden somewhere in them that could undo all of Dr. Estragon's progress with his patient? Was there a possible downside to what he'd been doing?

Dr. Estragon had told him before that he was still working on it. That he'd made some progress, which he was pretty sure was only going to get better and better with time, no matter what. And this latest side effect was surely an improvement on the others: his patient had come this close to harming himself, and yet he'd not done so.

"There is no problem with the pills," said Estragon. "If they were dangerous, I'd have had Bruce Wayne throw them out."

Estragon took another sip of his coffee. "What do you think, Adam? Is it safe?"

Adam considered the question for a few moments. "I think it would be safe in small doses. But no greater than the doses you've been giving him. It's too soon to say."

"And how much is too soon?"

"A few weeks, maybe. At least. It depends on his tolerance."

"And if he does start to feel the side effects?"

"Then we'll have to talk."

Estragon nodded and stood up, gathering his things. "I have a meeting with the lawyers tomorrow, and I have to go back to the office."

Adam stood as well. "All right. Are you going to see Bruce after the meeting?"

"I'd say so. I was going to stay in town tonight, actually. I just won't tomorrow."

Adam nodded in agreement and headed for the door.

"See you," he said.

"Have a good day," said Estragon.

"Thanks. You too."

Estragon left the suite and made his way down to the lobby. He stopped by the front desk to pick up his key card and his coat and briefcase, and started walking to his car.

There was a crowd of people gathering in front of the Wayne Enterprises building, with more coming in from the streets every minute. All wore dark suits and most had signs, although not all signs were clear to Estragon (and it was difficult for him to understand, over the din of the crowd).

Some of the signs said things like: "We know what he did. His crimes are well known. The guilty must be punished." Others said things like: "Justice is here, in the end. Justice must be made."

Estragon kept walking, trying to figure out what was going on. A group of men in suits approached him, speaking in low voices, gesturing to the building with their signs. Estragon walked slowly up to them, wondering what was going on.

One of the men, a tall thin fellow, turned to Estragon and spoke up to him.

"We are all aware of Mr. Wayne's actions," the man said. "And his crimes against us must be addressed."

"We must punish him for what he's done," said another man, "to ensure that this does not happen again."

"We must also ensure that he never gets to hurt anyone else."

"And we have found a way to do that," said the thin man.

The men walked closer to Estragon, and a third one spoke up. "We can do it now."

The thin man looked at Estragon. "We have to."

"No," said Estragon, shaking his head.

"Do you think this is just?" asked the thin man, looking at Estragon.

Estragon shook his head. "I don't know. I don't know enough."

"It doesn't matter."

Another man came over and spoke.

"This must be done," he said.

"No," said Estragon. "It can't be."

The man turned to Estragon and spoke up. "Do you want to live with this, all your life?"

"I don't think so."

"You don't seem like a very good person."

Estragon looked down.

"