#Song of Surrender

[free-for-all-fics]

If I had a nickel for every Claude Rains character that had a wife young enough to be mistaken for his daughter, I’d have two nickels. Which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it happened twice.

[maxsix]

[brucespringsteencomments]

[ourstaturestouchtheskies]

Wild Horses, Nevada – Carl Oscar Borg // Horses – Maggie Rogers

[weremadeofbadcode]

A list of songs that I think are very fitting for John doe, by a John doe fictive:

I'm Not Made by Design by Nothing But Thieves

The Code by Nemo

Skyfall by Adele (this one is obvious)

I'm Your Man by Mitski (also obvious)

Rule #34 by Fish In A Birdcage (not in a sexy way. In a controling way. HEAR ME OUT-)

Abbey by Mitski

Afterlife by Nothing But Thieves

Bernadette by IAMX

[nolita-fairytale]

cigarettes & coffee (carmy x fem!reader songfic)

summary: carmy can't sleep and neither can you. after moving in together you spend a morning drinking coffee and smoking cigarettes. (part of the make my heart surrender verse, but can absolutely be read as a standalone piece).

word count: 1.2k

warnings: smoking, she/her pronouns, no use of y/n, but i don't think any others

listen to: cigarettes & coffee - otis redding

a/n: just a lil something to hold the carmy fandom over while i work on some engagemet smut and the prequel to make my heart surrender

"it's early in the morning about a quarter til three, i'm sittin' here talkin' with my baby over cigarettes and coffee."

"Can't sleep?" Carmy hears you say, your soft footsteps filling his ears.

He's curled up next to the windowsill, inside of the reading nook that's tucked perfectly into the apartment's alcove.

"Nah," you shake your head, your footsteps carrying over to your now shared open kitchen.

You notice that he's opened one of the windows and is fumbling around with an unopened pack of cigarettes.

"Sorry did I wake you?" he asks, just a hint of nervousness in the sound of his voice.

"It's okay," you respond, quietly reassuring him.

And it is okay.

But it's also going to be an adjustment.

"darling, I've been so satisfied, honey, since I met you, baby, since I met you."

You start making your morning coffee as you can hear Carmy beginning to fidget with his lighter. Carmy has a marlboro pressed in between his lips as he listens to you. He shifts forward from where he sits so that he can move the needle of your record player back over to the dark-colored vinyl you both were listening to the night before. He half-smiles as he watches the record begin to spin, turning the volume down just a hair from where it was the night before.

The love he has for vintage denim is the same love you have for vintage records, you'd explained to him when you'd first met.

You'd really lucked out yesterday by finding this old copy of Otis Redding's "The Soul Album" at the used bookstore a couple of blocks away. You'd purchased it as a symbol of you and Carmy's new chapter. Every time you wanted to remember this phase of your life, you could pull the vinyl from its sleeve and take a trip down memory lane.

"but it seemed so natural, darling, that you and I are here, just talking over cigarettes and drinking coffee."

Carmy takes a look around at the mess in your -- well, now the both of your -- apartment. Unpacking amidst the move felt like it would never end, and he felt bad about the state of disarray he'd left your apartment in. Pushing the thoughts from his mind, he lights up the end of his marlboro in avoidance.

He inhales the smoke deeply -- a somewhat frustrated and burdened quality to it.

You chuckle to yourself.

Yes. This is who you get to wake up to every morning: the man that you love, your best friend, your lover who sometimes carries the weight of the world on his shoulders.

"What's on your mind?" you ask softly, setting a timer on your phone for your French press.

Carmy sighs as he exhales the smoke, angling his face in the direction of the open window.

Sure, you'd both agreed he wouldn't smoke in the house but... it would take some getting used to.

"The agnolotti you made me a few weeks ago," he finally answers, his eyes fixed on the sun peaking just underneath the horizon.

Of course he's thinking about a menu.

"For The Bear?" you ask, curiously.

"Maybe. What do you think?" he asks back, turning his head to look at you.

You turn to him, your back pressed against the kitchen counter as you say: “I thought you said you already tried a stuffed pasta."

The corners of his lips curl into the smallest smile as he answers, “Not yours.”

You smile softly, thinking it over.

A few weeks ago, before the madness of the move, you'd been on a creative bender. You'd dreamed up a savory braised leek agnolotti del plin with a lemon beurre monte to brighten up the dish. You and Carmy had been working opposite shifts as of late, and it had worked out perfectly that you'd been able to surprise him with a home cooked meal when he'd gotten off of a particularly challenging shift.

"It could work," you state, a strategy beginning to unfold in your mind.

"We could do a little R&D with it as a special before committing to something that detail oriented. Think it would still work with the flow of things. Not too much extra work for Manny and Angel? Maybe Syd would be up for the challenge...? Or maybe you and I could work on it together."

"I'll throw it out there... talk it over with Sydney," he replies, coming to a temporary pause on the thought.

Carmy continues smoking his cigarette as you busy yourself with the remaining dishes left over in the sink. Since you started moving him in, it'd mostly been takeout or ordering a pizza -- neither of you having the energy to cook between the move and the restaurant.

"and oh, my heart cries out, love at last I've found you, oh, and honey, won't you let me just build my whole life around you?"

As your timer goes off for the coffee, you push pause on dishes and dry yours hands off.

You make up one of your little serving trays with two mugs, filling both cups 3/4 of the way. You add the remaining coffee, still in the French press, and the remaining milk you have in your fridge, to the tray.

Ready for your morning coffee, you turn around, tray in hand, as you take in the image of your handsome boyfriend. He's exhaling the smoke out of the window, his back pressed up against one of the walls of the alcove. The sun is just starting to rise, and you can't help but think he looks like an old hollywood movie star with the way that the sunlight hits his face.

You can't believe you get to wake up to this every single morning now.

"i would love to have another drink of coffee, now, and please, darling, help me smoke this one more cigarette, now, i don't want no cream and sugar, 'cause I've got you now, darling."

Sure, you'd agreed you wouldn't smoke in the house but when he looks this good doing it, you don't have the heart to stop him. You make your way to where he sits in the apartment's little reading nook before setting down the tray of coffee.

He looks to you, noticing the amused look on your face as your eyes flicker over to his cigarette. He looks down for a moment, before looking back to you, his blue eyes catching yours.

"Am I in trouble?" he asks, a small smirk on his lips. You pick up your cup of coffee taking a sip before responding.

You shake your head, "Not this time."

You lean in towards Carmy, and just as he thinks you're going to kiss him, you take the cigarette from him, trading him your coffee cup. He watches you, completely enchanted with you as you curl up on the other side of the seating area. With your back pressed up against the closed window and your feet hanging off of the reading nook seating, you bring the cigarette up to your lips to inhale.

Carmy takes a sip of your coffee as you exhale, facing towards the open window just like he'd done previously.

His chest filled to the brim with warmth, he asks you, "How're you mine?"

You shrug, the corners of your lips curling into a smile you reply, "Guess we both got lucky, huh?"

"it's so early in the morning, and I've got you and you've got me, and we'll have each other, and we don't, and we don't want nothing but joy."

taglist: @allthefandomstogether @gaysludge @sobshoney @harrysmatcha @starbritestarlite @tpwkkmila @cool-girl-is-hot @nunya7394 @galaxyprincess51-blog @carmensberzattos

[cerise-on-top]

Singing Price a Lullaby

Reusing one of my favorite ideas! I actually put in the names of all the characters I write for into a random picker and I got Price! Lovely, he's earned it!

Looking up from your phone, you gazed through the window, looking at the few stars and clouds that were visible. The sun had kissed the planet goodnight a while ago. And yet, here you were, all alone still, lying in your bed as you awaited your lover to finally finish his work for the day. A torturous time, really. Although he may have been so near, you dared not disturb him in what he deemed so important. And thus you were left to your own devices for hours now, asking him whether or not he had desired some food from time to time. Truthfully, an empty stomach was the only thing to make John abandon his oh so important work. And even then, conversation was sparse, he merely thought about work, not paying you much mind. While there may be the occasional answer were you to ask a question, it was short. He may have been the captain of a prestigious force, but that didn’t mean he should neglect you like that. Even you, with your understanding nature, had your limits. But it wasn’t John unintentionally ignoring you for the majority of the day that got to you, no. What really irked you was how few breaks he took. Yes, what he had to do was indeed of utmost importance, but you’d rather have him take care of himself either way. You brought him tea and water, incentives to get away from his paperwork for a few minutes at a time.

Looking at your phone yet again, the clock read 21:23. Had it been up to you, you would have dragged John from his desk and into bed. While you may not have been as strong as he was physically, you would hold him down until sleep would take him. If you needed to, you would learn to tie knots as well, anything to get your boyfriend to rest. With a sigh, you turned off your phone, deciding that you, and him, had had enough for the night. Your bed may have been a bastion of comfort, but it was incomplete without him. And thus, yet again, you sought him out in the one place he could almost always be found.

You knocked on the door to his office and, to no surprise, John invited you in, not bothering to open the door himself, however.

“Evening, love. Can I help you?” It was late, he had been working since the morning. Evidently, he was tired, his speech a bit slower than usual. John even had the gall to stifle a yawn around you. Had you been stronger, you would have picked him up, thrown him over your shoulder and carried him to your shared bed. But alas he was too heavy. The sentiment was still very much there, though.

“John, don’t you think it’s time to head to bed? It’s half past nine pm already, you’ve been at this since ten am.”

Turning back to his paperwork, he tapped the pen against his papers. “Just a little bit longer, then I’ll stop for the time being.”

Those few sentences made you irrationally angry. ‘Just a little longer’, that usually meant he’d be at this for another three hours or so, which was unacceptable. You took a deep breath and gently closed the door behind you. However, you could not pretend to be calm any longer as you stomped over to John, taking his papers from him and scanning them over. “Spelling error. Spelling error. Did you doze off as you wrote this? Wrong use of ‘than’. Spelling error.” You put the papers down with force, it was a surprise none of them had flown off the desk. “John, you’re dead tired and mentally exhausted. I think it’s time you call it quits for the night.”

Putting his pen down, he sighed. “Love, it’s alright. This is important and the deadline is coming up soon enough. I can go to bed later. I’m not tired just yet either.” He wrapped an arm around your waist, pulling you a bit closer and resting his head against you, closing his eyes for a moment. “I’ll join you soon enough, don’t worry.”

“Stop shitting me. You’re leaving this room right now.” Grabbing his arm, you pulled him up. You had expected otherwise, but he put up no fight as you dragged him off the chair. It seemed as though not even he wanted to really work anymore this late. No one was going to burn him at the stakes for heading to bed for the night. Or stopping for any other reason. “And if you’re not tired, fine. We’ll do something else until you are tired.” What a liar. You were sure if you forced him to bed and wrapped a blanket around him he’d be gone in roughly ten minutes. Maybe even less. His eyes were only half open, and he was, yet again, stifling a yawn. “Come on, we’re heading to the living room. I have an idea for what we can do.”

For a moment he hesitated, refusing to go along with you as you were halfway through the door. John looked back at the documents on his desk, barely moving as you tried to drag him through the door. His gaze seemed almost empty as he stared off into space. He was half asleep, even while standing there. Eventually, he relented, turning off the lights and following you into the living room.

Holding onto his wrist still, you sat down on the couch, patting your lap as John simply stared at you. Raising his eyebrow, it was clear what he wanted to convey. ‘I’m too heavy for you, I won’t be sitting in your lap.’ But that wasn’t your intention either.

“Lie down, put your head on my lap.” Although he may have been a captain, he obeyed your command, no complaints from his side either. It was adorable how he looked up at you, barely conscious. You were certain he’d fall asleep eventually. However, maybe, just maybe, you could convince him to go to bed without him actually falling asleep in your lap. You wanted to sleep in your bed as well, after all. All of this could have been avoided if only he would take better care of himself. You’re going to scold him for that, but it could wait until tomorrow. For the time being you ran your fingers through his hair.

“What are we going to do now? Watch the telly?”

“Quiet, my dear. I’m thinking.” What you were about to do was kind of embarrassing. You were only really used to singing to yourself when no one was around. But you always found your voice to be quite soothing. In fact, you could sing yourself sleepy with certain songs as well. It was a blessing and a curse. You hoped you wouldn’t start yawning throughout it. Unfortunately, it wasn’t as unlikely as one would think. Still, you’d give it your all. But what to sing? You wanted to go for something a bit nicer.

Eventually, you settled for a song, looking away from John for a bit before starting to play with his hair again. He never looked away from you, taking in all of your features, regardless of how many times he had seen them.

Your voice wasn’t overly loud, it wasn’t overly high pitched either as you sang. Still, you felt a bit embarrassed, avoiding John’s gaze. It seemed almost humiliating to you, singing in front of someone else after years of not doing so. But it would take John’s mind off of things, you hoped. Your little performance was nice, you could feel yourself relaxing a bit as well.

I think I found a flower in a field of weeds

I think I found a flower in a field of weeds

Searching until my hands bleed

This flower don't belong to me

I think I found a flower in a field of weeds

I think I found a flower in a field of weeds

Searching until my hands bleed

This flower don't belong to me

This flower don't belong to me

Why can't she belong to me?

Slowly, you could feel your eyes getting a bit droopy as well, a yawn coming along with the feeling. Still, you ignored such for the sake of continuing to sing. John shifted in your lap, laying down on his side as he nuzzled into your stomach. You couldn’t tell if he was actually enjoying this, anxiety building up in your chest. However, you had already started, it would be a shame to stop now.

Every word, every thought, every sound

Every touch, every smile, every frown

All the pain we've endured until now

All the hope that I lost, you have found

He wrapped his arms around your middle and sighed contently. Maybe your anxieties were unfounded after all. It wasn’t often he’d sigh like that, only when he was really comfortable. For a moment, you dared to look at him. His eyes were closed and he seemed happy.

Every word, every thought, every sound

Surrender

Every touch, every smile, every frown

Surrender

All the pain we've endured until now

Surrender

All the hope that I lost, you have found

His breathing was shallow and calm. Has he fallen asleep already? You would have preferred it if he had fallen asleep in your shared bed, but you supposed this was better than nothing. You could always just take a nap tomorrow.

I never had the nerve to ask

Surrender

Has my moment come and passed?

Surrender

I never had the nerve to ask

Surrender

Has my moment come and passed?

Surrender

I never had the nerve to ask

Surrender

Has my moment come and passed?

Surrender

I never had the nerve to ask

Your little performance was over now. You had found yourself to be quite tired yourself, but dared not to move in fear of waking John. Yet, eventually, he stirred awake, in spite of you not moving a muscle. His slumber didn’t last very long, if he had even slept in the first place.

“Beautiful, love. How come you never told me you could sing like that?”

“Well, it is a bit embarrassing. Even though I really do love singing. Anyway, go to bed, you stinker. It’s late and you’re tired.”

John sighed, but got up reluctantly. Having pulled you up with him, he linked his arm with yours. You were ready to hold him given how he swayed from left to right as he walked. “Nothing to be embarrassed about. You should sing more often. I’d love to hear you sing again sometime.”

“W-well, I’m sure that could be arranged… We’ll discuss that tomorrow. For now we’re heading to bed.”

“Wouldn’t dream of going anywhere else at this hour.” What a jester. Had you not intervened then he’d still be working away at some boring papers. But you were proud of him for complying. He needed that rest, after all.

You weren’t sure how long it took for him to actually fall asleep, but you could have sworn you heard light snoring the moment he hit the bed. In fact, he wasn’t even moving anymore, it was you, who had to drape the blanket over the both of you. But you didn’t mind. With a gentle kiss to the top of John’s head, you settled down for the night yourself, nestling into the blankets and getting comfortable. Eventually, you, too, fell asleep, tired from singing the lullaby.

[derangedrhythms]

Georg Trakl, Surrender to Night: Collected Poems of Georg Trakl: Poems; from 'Rosary Songs: Amen', tr. Will Stone

[dykeofmisfortune]

songs about romance will be like "i love you baby we should kiss" whereas songs about your platonic best buddy will be like. Well we bursted out of class had to get away from those fools we learned more from a three minute record baby then we've ever learned in school tonight i hear the neighborhood drummer sound i can feel my heart begin to pound you say you're tired and you just wanna close your eyes and follow your dreams down well we made a promise we swore we'd always remember no retreat baby no surrender. like soldiers in the winter's night with a vow to defend no retreat baby no surrender. Ans now young faces grow sad and old and hearts of fire grow cold. we swore blood brothers against the wind now i'm ready to grow young again and hear your sister's voice calling us home across the open yards well maybe we could cut someplace of our own with these drums and these guitars cause we made a promise we swore we'd always remember no retreat baby no surrender blood brothers in the stormy night with a vow to defend no retreat baby no surrender. now on the street tonight the lights grow dim the walls of my room are closing in there's a war outside still raging you say it ain't ours anymore to win. i wanna sleep beneath peaceful skies in my lover's bed with a wide open country in my eyes and these romantic dreams in my head cause once we made a promise we swore we'd always remember no treat baby no surrender blood brothers in the stormy night with a vow to defend no retreat, baby, no surrender no retreat baby no surrender

[elekilokal]

Judas

[dragonfly0808]

I just realized Bloom and Sky are low-key Alley Rose by Conan Gray coded…

But their song this season is still probably Surrender by Natalie Taylor, that song always has me picturing them

BUT WAIT- HOLY SHIT THEY WOULD FEEL SO PERSONALLY ATTACKED BY BLUE FROM BILLIE!!!

Oh Blue would feel like a stab to the heart to those two, also fits them so well aaaaaaahhhhhh!!!

[leosulfurous]

from experience I can confidently say that the best song to listen to when you’re sitting on a bus for a day trip at 6am in almost total darkness save for the faint blue lighting the edges of the ceiling provides while you’re tired as hell with your backpack between your legs and your face smushed against the window with the curtain crumpled a little bit beneath your cheek to protect it from the cold shock of the glass and as the bus cruises along on the motorway towards the country you’re headed to you feel as if you’re the only one to witness as the sun slowly rises and brings light to the world once more is Surrender The Night by My Chemical Romance. If you disagree with me then you are wrong

[kiirotoao]

Mike (and Will when Mike wants to dance with him) listens to Conan Gray btw. Sobs to Superache and jams out to Found Heaven regularly in his 50s and beyond. Just so you know

[marciliedonato]

YOU SURRENDER YOUR HEART, I SURRENDER EVERY DREAM

Credit

[frostbitebakery]

Song Poem Challenge

Put your entire song collection on shuffle, then write down the first line from each of the first ten songs that pop up to create a poem. You must then dedicate the poem to the blorbo or OTP that it most reminds you of! Then tag or send asks to three others that you think might enjoy the challenge!

I was tagged by @forloveofcodywan 💜

Tagging!! @razzbberry @ominouspuff @other-peoples-coats @adiduck @ossidae-passeridae @meantforinfinitesadness @meebles @lightasthesun

After thinking about this way too long, it ended up being outsider POV for the Surrender AU (evil codywan meets our codywan) somehow. Have at it??

Requin smells the blood in the water long before the General and the Commander… change.

The change is gradual. Creeping and spreading so slowly, surrounding them all so unnoticed, leaving no escape but the hard exit.

Requin drops to one knee, bows his head, swears his loyalty. To the Commander. To the General. To the cause.

Whoever is left by the end of this will be free in a free Galaxy.

The General’s eyes glow and the Commander reflects the gold. They all do. They all believe.

They march and they free their families. They release them from their suffering.

Others join them, though no Jedi ever do.

They, too, are released from their suffering.

The General mourns them, holds their hand as they join the Force.

They march and free and spread and cover everything in their wake.

The General shakes with the adrenaline, with victory, as he grips the Chancellor’s jaw with one hand, pressing him into the ground until it cracks, until pebbles of concrete start to float up.

“Commander Cody,” the General orders, teeth glinting as blood red as the veins standing out on his grey skin.

The Commander checks his blaster and shoots.

Requin smells the blood in the water.

There is no aftermath. The Galaxy isn’t free. They still need to fight.

Peoples yield to them, sometimes.

The Commander and the General crawl into their cave like wounded animals afterwards, and Requin and the others left hold vigil, protect them.

Their families become smaller until Requin can’t remember all their names anymore. Until he’s forgotten more names than he’d ever thought he’d need to learn.

Requin smells blood in the water when it’s his shift to guard the Commander and the General.

“There’s no Light,” the General says, voice cracking like shipwrecks in the void of a dying star over the syllables. “Cody, there’s no Light anymore.”

The Commander helps the General limp to their bed, takes the heavy cloak off him.

Tunics follow, bandages, careful considerations of each spot of skin revealed.

The General looks frail. Fragile and two-mirrored.

He doesn’t know why he thought that.

Gold eyes snap to him and Requin straightens.

The General stands up, becomes imposing as the cane flies into his hand.

The end of it clicks on the floor with each step like the hand of the clock counting down the time.

“There is no Light worth enough to keep around, my Commander,” the General says, gold eyes spearing through Requin.

"Then we should travel," the Commander suggests, watching the General advance on Requin with impassive eyes.

The General stops right in front him, grey fingers lifting to the markings on Requin's chestplate.

"I need the Light to survive," he whispers to Requin like a secret, lashes lowering in regret. "You are not enough anymore."

Requin smells blood in the water.

Turns out, it was his all along. His and his families'.

His body drops under the golden weight.