#Sometimes I'm allowed to like what I post

[muqingslover]

Ok, so... this might be a bit of a +18 think piece, but... what do you think the lads men would have as their top 3 kinks? I started thinking about it after I read the Xavier somno one, lol. Maybe I'm crazy but I think Caleb would have blindfolds/rope play in his top 3 (on mc not on him, since he wants to see all of you but is very resultant to show all of himself back due to fear of rejection+ if mc is tied up she can't leave)

[ choosing only three was a lot harder than I thought whew. Also, I'm testing out different layouts rn so don't mind me (⁠^⁠～⁠^⁠;⁠)⁠ゞ]

Xavier

Predator/Prey Play: This guy is the literal definition of wolf in sheep's clothing. What gets him going is the thrill of the hunt and the turntables (his specialty), which is why he will often let you think you're in control and have your fun teasing him only to then pounce when you least expect. If you run from him then you better pray he won't catch you or not.

Exhibitionism: This might be a hot take but walk with me. Xavier is a very jealous man so he won't ever allow anyone to actually see you, buuuut he is very into letting others know you belong to him. You gotta leave for a mission with someone else? Not to worry, all he needs is 10 minutes in the bathroom stall. The bread guy is back at it again? It can't be helped, he'll just have to fuck against the door while he's knocking to show you're busy. He'd love to see you struggling (and failing) to keep your voice down and looks like a smug cat when others notice the marks he left on you.

Cunnilingus: This man eats pussy like a goddamn champ. He absolutely adores having your thighs wrapped around his head, to the point he finds it comforting, and the feeling of his tongue stretching open your dripping pussy for his cock later. Your taste is something he could have every day, which he will if you let him, and he takes pride when you're left a writhing, whimpering mess that begs for him to fuck you.

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Zayne

Bondage: The joke about him tying MC up with surgical knots was definitely not a joke. In my opinion, rather than the power rush over the control he has over you, what really gets him off is the trust you put in his hands. Bondage is all about having faith in your partner to never truly hurt you and knowing you see him that way makes him feel beyond special. Given the chance he'd love to have you wrapped in dark blue, silky ribbons and the aftercare is top tier with this guy.

Lingerie: For some reason I feel like Zayne is REALLY into seeing you wearing lingerie. Ladies, feel free to tease him by telling him you're wearing one, but not letting him see until he's home much later. He'll spend the entire day imagining what type of lace you have under your clothes and he pretty please asks you to strip for him as a reward for waiting.

Phone Sex: Another one I just have a feeling it's his thing. I mean, he is a busy man and sometimes it can't be helped, people have needs yk. He'd like the feeling of knowing you think of him as much as he does of you when the other is not around. The photos you send and the sounds of your needy whines right next to his ear goes straight to his cock and he is mortified when the post-nut clarity hits him and he realizes what he did in his own office.

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Caleb

Overstimulation: I'm an overly sensitive Caleb truther. The overstimulation has his head spinning so good that he can barely form a coherent thought that isn't your name while he slams into your pussy for the nth time like a desperate man. He doesn't want to simply break you he wants to break together, to the point neither of you can think about anything else besides how good it feels.

Roleplaying: I've lost count of the amount of times we've seen him and MC roleplaying and this man will unironically take it to the bedroom. It starts as a joke where he's only doing it to make you laugh, but then he won't allow you to break character and will edge you until you say your "lines" correctly. Forceful and cold soldier? Check. Teasing and pervy Gege? of course. A loving and gentle husband? Sign him up. Strict teacher? No need to ask twice.

Brat Taming: Now defying Caleb is the equivalent of waving a red flag in front of a bull and you better run because when he catches you you're done for. He needs you to need him as much as he needs you and if he has to break you for you to admit it then he will. The rush of being the one in charge and "taking care" of you in a way no one else will is enough to have his cock throbbing.

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Sylus

Breeding AND Biting: These two go hand in hand every time you have sex with him. He craves to have a family with you but, more than anything, he wants you to be as full of him as his heart is of you. He wants you to be so filled with his cum that he has to keep his cock inside otherwise it'll leak out of you. He absolutely enjoys the slippery mess your warm insides become when he rocks his hips into you, slowly but deep, pushing his cum even further into your womb and hoping you'll get pregnant.

Body Worship: I've said it once and I'll say it again: Sylus is a lover boy! ! ! Each kiss on your skin is an offering, a promise and a worship. He wants to know the parts of your body not even you do and give you the love you deserve. The praises he whispers against your body are similar to a prayer and he could spend years exploring every inch of you without ever getting tired. You're the very reason for his existence and any less is just unacceptable.

Size: This guy is not only big but he's also very large. He is a softie who likes to tease you about how small you are compared to him while he holds your hand and pretends he doesn't hear your complaints about him suffocating you after the draped his heavy body over yours. That feeling of satisfaction extends when he has to gently coo you and kiss your tears away while he's spreading your little hole open. He can't help the fangy grin on his lips when he feels his cock bulge on your tummy and he holds your hand over the spot so you feel how deep he is inside of you as well.

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Rafayel

Rough Sex: Another controversial take but I feel like he's a secret sadist just not the extreme type. Man can flip his demeanor from "harmless babyboy" to intimidating sea god in a split second who knows what else he's hiding under that purple wig. He'll keep an almost cold demeanor while he coaxes whimpers out of you in the best way and a wicked smirk spreads across his face at the sight of your tears, spurring him on until he's completely broken you.

Food Play: That's definitely one way to make sure he actually eats. Having you be his meal will make him hungry like never before and oh he absolutely will feast (this may or may not be a reference to this). He makes a point of not using his hands while licking along your skin, tasting the sweet chocolate before he left a purple mark on your thighs. Oh, this goes both ways so please pour wine on him and lick him clean ;)

Body Painting: I forgot if there's an actual English term for this but Rafayel would love to draw on your skin and watch you squirm each time the soft, wet brush went over your perked up nipples. He'd scold you when you move because you're making him smudge the lines and holds you in place with his free hand, warning you to stop or he'll take "extreme measures" to make you keep still. You are the only one he'd ever dare to call a masterpiece.

[authoratmidnight]

So I was looking through the OptiRatch tag, as you do, when I saw @energon-depo's post about 'Smokescreen is an OptiRatch kid'

And unfortunately it takes very little to get my brain worms going and that one did and I kinda wanna write this. Or at least, a re-imagining of episode 18 where that's the case.

Like. Sometime waaaaaay before canon, before the war, Orion and Ratchet had a little sparkling (Smokescreen). But then (perhaps near the beginning of the war? just after he became a Prime?) he went missing/was kidnapped. He was just gone (I'm sort of thinking maybe Ratchet and Smokescreen were caught in an attack and separated and when the smoke and dust settled he looked everywhere for the little one to no avail).

Eventually they had to conclude he'd died in the attack, because what else can they do? So they grieve and mourn (esp grieving the fact that, now with everything going on, they'll probably never have another one-not only is it far to dangerous to bring a life like that into the world, but if anyone were to find out that Optimus had family like that, it would be painting a target on their backs. he already has to keep his relationship w/ Ratchet on the down low now, a child would be far to risky).

Then we fast forward ahead however many tens of thousands-millions of years have passed and it's the present day on Earth. Team Prime is investigating that escape pod, gets jumped by the 'Cons and then BAM. Smokescreen appears.

And to Ratchet and Optimus, the moment they see his face, it's like they've just seen a ghost. Because he may be grown up now, but that face, those colours/markings, those features, it's the same, it's their sparkling. Of course they mask this well enough under a guise of just. Surprise at seeing another young Autobot. Meanwhile they're looking at each other like 'you're seeing this right??'

So they bring him back to base and ofc ask him about himself, how her got there, his name (b/c it can't possibly be him. it just can't). He gives the spiel we know. But also further prodding on Ratchet's part (while giving him a physical to make sure he's in good condition, don't need another wounded warrior on their hands) reveals that (as far as he knows) any family he had died in the war. His memories as a sparkling are hazy at best, he doesn't remember his parents.

He grew up alone and basically went from alone to the Elite Guard, to his station w/ Alpha Trion and then on Earth.

Meanwhile, Ratchet and Optimus are just 'oh sweet Solus Prime it IS him' esp when a test that Ratchet ran while doing his physical confirms relations.

So on one hand, they're ecstatic that their missing sparkling is alive and well. On the other, do they tell him??? They want to, Primus knows they want to, but at the same time it would be so dangerous, cause it would and could get back to the Cons and that would be painting the biggest ever 'take me hostage' sign on him. So maybe not yet but, perhaps one day.

Smokescreen is woefully oblivious to any favouritism going his way (getting to call Ratchet 'doc' w/o issue, being allowed to just. use the Phase Shifter whenever. god they try not to show favouritism but they slip up sometimes)

And then the s2 ending/s3 staring events happen and Ratchet is just gripped with grief at the thought he's lost not just his partner, but his child for the second time in his life. He is beyond relieved when they turn up alive.

Smokescreen isn't quite sure why Ratchet hugs him so tightly once they're reunited. Like, he's glad to see him too but uh, Ratchet you ok? He's also a bit surprised that Optimus isn't mad at him for disobeying orders (going back to save him when the base blew up, using the forge on him to save him), but he's not gonna complain cause it did work out.

Now Ratchet really wants to tell Smokescreen. After all that he deserves to know. Optimus still isn't sure (even though he does want to as well).

Maybe one day, when the war is over, when it's safer.

Also. Alpha Trion 100% knew who Smokescreen was (b/c he knows like everything) and orchestrated getting him guard duty there, with him, to keep an eye on Smokescreen/keep him safe. He also told him stories about Optimus Prime as a way for him to know about his dad (Smokescreen always had a fascination about him that Alpha Trion was happy to feed). He also orchestrated getting Smokescreen to Earth so he'd one day meet Optimus again.

[mohntilyet]

okay this is actually just bias now so before you read what i have to say i did warn you. yes illario would never be able to beat lucanis at being a crow or an assassin but you know what he would beat him at. being a lord of fortune. hold my hand as i take you through my mind palace and introduce to you my ideal post-game vision for illario dellamorte

[iturmom]

fuck it i'll explain myself real simple like line by line so everyone can understand because i'm sick of thinking about this.

1 idk who anthony bourdain is. my tags are not in response to him as a person or his character but what he is saying in this snippet of an interview. i still haven't looked him up and it doesn't matter because i am not making a character judgement of him. i don't give a shit about his character. his words were a conversation starter for me, nothing more.

2. it gives off alpha male vibes. does that mean he's an alpha male? no. am i suggesting he's friends with andrew tate? never. again i am saying nothing about his character, just the vibes of his words. people are so much more than just one out of context conversation.

3. judging a woman for how she eats is inherently misogynistic. she's been literally trained like a fucking animal since birth to eat dainty and be ashamed of everything. and now you're judging women for the way they were socialized in a patriarchal society where boys are allowed to eat like animals but girls get shamed for it. now a man is shaming girls for the way they've been conditioned. he's not only talking about his wife he is talking about women as a whole as if women are a monolith. because when you say something in a public forum like an interview in a famous publication i assume that is obviously seen by many people, when you suggest things about women, it can be internalized by every woman or afab who reads it. he should know this when he is speaking in public platforms. any public facing person should know this, i mean they make money off this fact

4. no one seems bothered by this one thanks

5. or this i guess?

6 7 & 8 i think i explained pretty well? i can clarify further tho

9. i don't eat for a man's entertainment or lack thereof i don't eat for men! fuck anthony bourdain for the tiniest annoyance of the slight implication that women's eating habits have anything to do with a man. i'm sure someone has said fuck anthony bourdain before and got drinks afterward with him. i imagine that's how celebrities live sometimes idk? so yeah i think he can handle an internet stranger saying fuck anthony bourdain on a post he'll never see? i don't think he cares really he has a lot of money

10. the implication is there bc he gave many examples which were exclusively meat, and one cheese which is. idk not much better? cause like i don't eat meat so is he suggesting that when i go on a date i'm supposed to order a whole block of cheese and just bite straight into it like an apple? no he's not bc he's not thinking about vegetarians bc it's impossible to go feral over a vegetarian burrito, over a veggie burger, is what i'm kinda taking from where his focus lies. doesn't eat meat= dainty= unsexy= bad. not necessarily in that order but these things seem to be implied.

after that i just devolved into irrational anger for the drama. i thought that was pretty obvious by wishing he steps on a lego and not wishing actual suffering on him..... sorry it didn't play very well i guess

also never said it was a joke. i don't do comedy. i was exaggerating my emotions for the drama. if you don't like people who exaggerate their emotions sometimes then my blog is not for you and that's okay!

[stupid-elf]

Growing up with strict, neurodivergent parents while neurodivergent yourself will have you as an adult acting like you've recently escaped the feywild. What are the tricky rules? Is everything accounted for? How do I ensure I don't accidentally step over the line into Impoliteness. You know the consequences aren't death and dismemberment but you might look down one day and find you've lost your shadow and all of your friends if you're not careful

[caffinedragon]

Dante, especially at his age, subconsciously sort of stepped in as a surrogate dad to Taash. It wasn't something he actively meant to do, it just sort of happened and both just rolled with it.

He admires her courage, and straightforward attitude and the two of them often work out together to keep there edge sharp.

During these sessions, Taash would often talk to him about some of the stuff they have been through, about their fire breath, and how they don't feel like they are male or female.

Dante would often respond with similar stories of his own and how he dealt with them, helping Taash know that they are not alone in being different.

And as he has in the past with the students he took under his wing, when they call for help, he comes running. Even after the events of Veilguard have ended.

That's his Taash now.

If they need him, he will be there.

Taash in turn helps keep his sister(Isabella) out of too much trouble and becomes a sort of go between for the siblings over time. They don't really visit the Necropolis much for obvious reasons but whenever his sister and his annual summer sailing trip rolls around, Taash is with them out at sea.

As for the other members of Taash's family, I don't know just yet because i haven't beaten the game fully so i haven't completed their quest past the "Make them choose to stick with tradition or go their own way" decision.

So from what I have seen of Taash's Ma, I would say Dante would have gotten a but prickly towards her because of how she was pushing Taash towards something they didn't want.

He knows what that is like and what that can do to a person. Example Below.

---

Sometime in Taash's room post workout (CW: self deletion attempt mentioned):

Taash: Hey, Dante?

Dante toweling himself off: Yeah?

Taash: What did you mean when you said, "I know what it's like to be forced into a box I don't fit in and it nearly killed me."?

Dante sighed and sat down next to them: It's a pretty heavy story.

Taash: I'm strong. I can handle it.

Dante chuckles: Very well. *rolls his shoulders and takes a deep steadying breath* Like how you were born able to breath fire, I was born with a mind that fundamentally worked and understood the world differently.

Taash: What do you mean?

Dante: Take a chess board. You have the board, the pieces and the players. Most people are chess pieces. They can only see or think about the immediate world around them and only a small portion of the board and their position on it. But me, I am one of the players. Not only do i see the whole board but all the pieces and the other player across from me. I know all the strategies and all the rules all at once, all the time and i can't block anything out.

Taash: That sounds like a lot.

Dante: It is. And now try and imagine that, on top of all of that, the chess pieces on the board are shouting at you that, despite the fact that you can see the board and know what needs to be done, you are doing everything wrong because you don't act like they do and since they can't see the rest of the board they don't believe it exists.

Taash: That's fucked.

Dante: That...my friend, is my whole existence.

Taash: Woof. But how did it almost kill you?

Dante: Because i began to believe that i was the asshole and the monster everyone thought i was and decided that what few friends and family i had were better off without me.

Taash: Your not either of those things.

Dante: I know that now but back then I was young and trying desperately to fit in. To make friends. Find love. All of it. But, no matter how hard i tried it seemed like i was always doing it wrong. People were always getting angry at me, accusing me of things i didn't do, attaching meaning to my words that wasn't there, expecting things of me i didn't understand... I was confused, and scared and that allowed people to make me feel like i was the problem.

Taash: You weren't though. Your brain just worked different.

Dante: I didn't understand that at the time.

Taash: So what did you do?

Dante: Climbed up onto one of the skeleton structures that are as tall as the lighthouse and tried to fly, knowing full well that all that would happen was i was gonna go splat at the bottom.

Taash: Fuck. What stopped you?

Dante: Manfred. Well, before he was Manfred. He was still a wisp of curiosity at the time but he had found me and spun around my head long enough to distract me. After he knew i wasn't goign to jump, he zipped off to find Emmerich. As soon as i got back on the ground, Emmerich wrapped me up in a hug, took me to his dorm and didn't let me go for the rest of the day and didn't leave me alone for about a week.

Taash: How long ago did this happen?

Dante, counting on his fingers: Eh...I am 54 now so...25 years ago, give or take. I was a few years older than you at the time.

Taash: Damn. You understand what was going on now right?

Dante: Oh Yeah. I went through a pretty angry phase for a while but I worked through it. It wasn't easy, not by a long shot but, the experience allows me to help others like me who don't quite fit in with the status quo, as it were.

Taash: It sucks that you had to feel like that, but I am glad your here. I feel a bit less alone.

Dante: I am happy to hear that. Now, enough dark thoughts. Lucanis is cooking some roasted boar legs for dinner And i don't know about you but i am starving.

Rook Introduction Hour 2.24.25

Good morning, everyone! Good news: Taash Week is coming up on @datvcompanionweeks! It will be from Monday, March 10th - Sunday, March 16th! Only TWO WEEKS left!

To celebrate, today's Intro Hour will be centered around Taash!

How it works: I ask you a question about your Rook(s) and you answer it with as much brevity or verbosity as you desire. You can do this whenever you want, and I’ll reblog it + add some comments! There’s no time limit— if you want to do the older ones, they are collected here! (The post is updated on Fridays!)

Today's Question(s): What is your Rook's relationship with Taash? What do they like about them? Do they have a lot of experiences in common? What do Rook and Taash enjoy doing together? How does Rook help Taash work through their issues during the game? When Elgar'nan is defeated, do they continue to hang out-- does Rook continue to help Taash with their problems? How does Taash help Rook, in return? What do Taash and Rook think about the most important people in each other's lives? Lastly, if you want, write a unique banter between Taash and your Rook!

Answer whatever you like, and have fun!

[novadragoness]

Durge: Welp, that's enough thinking for today. Time to turn off the brain for a while.

*sets the warped headband slightly to the right, then flops down and stares silently into the sky/ceiling*

[lacrimosathedark]

Hiya. Aroace-spec enby Hazbin fan and Radioapple shipper here. No hard feelings here, but you are incredibly misinformed so allow me to learn you a few things.

Firstly, I can tell that this is something of a vent post. That's okay, sometimes you need to just get your feelings out into words and be heard by somebody, anybody. That's alright.

That being said, when that vent includes something people enjoy in non-harmful ways (like shipping fictional characters) you don't add those tags. Ship hate stays out of ship tags for everyone's safety; so the shippers aren't hurt during what could be their only fun time, and so you aren't hurt when less understanding people retaliate. Because they will, as you've maybe noticed by now.

I'm putting the rest of this under a cut because it's long because I am incapable of shutting the fuck up and overexplain. I just want you to know I'm not yelling at you and hopefully don't feel too overwhelmed by this.

Now, I'm glad you want to defend us, but defending us without accurately understanding us only causes harm. As someone on the trans spectrum that's usually overlooked (and maligned if you're transfem) I hope you recognize that. People are so intensely misinformed on sex and gender that even when they advocate for us, sometimes they unintentionally spew transphobic bullshit. That's kind of what you're doing now.

Asexuality and aromanticism is, as you said, about attraction, but that's all it is; attraction. It's that yearning or hunger for that specific thing. This does not preclude aromantics from participating in pseudo-romantic relationships or actions of various kinds, or asexuals from sexual relationships. Sexuality is not synonymous with libido or hedonism, romance is not synonymous with intimacy or companionship. There are lots of sex-positive asexuals who are some of the horniest motherfuckers in the world; they just don't feel attraction. Similarly there are aromantic people who want the reliable closeness of a romantic partner just without the lovey dovey stuff, and may even act in ways that can be perceived as romantic from a platonic standpoint. And the mesh point non-sexual non-romantic aroace committed relationships is a queerplatonic relationship. It's kind of like "best friend" but more committed and takes many forms.

Also presuming we need to be sheltered, that we're all sex-repulsed and romance-repulsed and should be protected from such things, is a little infantilizing. I'd love more media without sexual implications, and I know aros who are beyond sick of all media being about romance. But we live in this world every day. Personally, I'm infantilized enough as a small transmasc. I appreciate the intent, but your methodology is flawed.

Now to the Radoapple of it all.

You're commenting on a fandom you aren't in and know nothing about. You weren't even sure how to spell the character's name. That's not a good starting point.

Alastor is NOT canonically aromantic, though that's a common headcanon. He IS asexual, but as mentioned, it is a spectrum, and he's only shown blatant repulsion to he topic in regards to a character who is hypersexual, which could make even allos uncomfortable. The creator has given shippers her blessing to do what they will, so there's no issue there. And for the "strongest" shippers, even her disapproval wouldn't have stopped them. How often do you see straight characters made gay and gay characters made straight in fandom for the sake of a ship? That's ignoring canon characterization AND it's bi erasure and it's common as fuck and that drives me nuts but I'm getting side-tracked.

Alastor shippers are often very respectful of Alastor's identity. Some of the most common ao3 tags for Alastor are "Non-Sex Repulsed Asexual Alastor" and "Sex Repulsed Asexual Alastor". People come at his sexuality from both sides.

Radioapple in particular is one of the healthiest ships Alastor is put in, in large part because everyone is in Hell and his other big ships have a History behind them.

There's also just who Lucifer is as a person. He may b contentious with Alastor (I'll get to it) but on the whole, Lucifer is very sweet. He adores his daughter more than anything. He very blatantly misses his ex-wife who has been absent for at least 7 years. And we could all but guarantee that if he were to somehow date Alastor, if he said no sex ever, Lucifer would accept that. Partly because he's been alone without his wife for who knows how long so it's nothing new, but also how he won Lilith over in the first place.

Lilith left Adam because he demanded she be subservient. In mythology this is often boiled down to he insisted on "topping" and she refused to "bottom". She's a proud woman and would not be under anyone's control. But she met and fell in love with Lucifer soon after, so you can imagine what that may imply about him. At the very least, he showed Lilith respect and didn't make demands of her. He knows how to respect someone's boundaries. (where also, notably, Alastor's other common ship partners canonically don't. No shame on those who ship them, just making a point)

Alastor and Lucifer met on screen, and sparks flew. Literally. They were firing shots at each other. It was mostly verbal with magical flourish for visual, but it was also the first time in the series Alastor was less than composed. He'd had one big on-screen confrontation and a few small ones before that and he never lost his head or so much as swore. He said "fuck you" to the devil's face less than 5 mins into meeting him. And they got very in each other's faces. People were going to ship them.

So, this? This is why they're shipped.

On top of this, lot of fledgling aros and aces explore their identities through Alastor and shipping him in whatever ways they like. And it's fan work not official work, so where's the harm in self-exploration? A lot of even some of the nastier fanfiction is people processing trauma, which is healthy and can help those who find it too. The existence of "bad" fan work is 9 times out of 10 a good thing.

But I'm guessing you aren't so much reading as seeing drawings, but here's the thing about that: unless it's a comic, a picture is a single moment. You don't have context of the artist's perspective on his identity unless it's right there in the color palette or there's a straight up flag. You don't know if the artist respects Alastor's sexuality or not. You don't know if, hey, they find his design appealing and wanted to mess with it. At a glance you can't know. And assuming the worst, that all these artists are aphobic, is not good for you, them, or us.

Try not to jump to conclusions just because you saw a suggestive drawing.

I know this was a lot, but I hope this helps you.

not aro or ace, but whenever I see radioapple in particular, like Lucifer/Alastar or something, I forgot bro's name.

I get so fucking pissed, because it's SO popular, but I'm pretty sure Alastar is aroace and everyone keeps on excusing it on the 'aces can feel sexual attraction too' or something for aros and I just.

YEAH. Yeah I agree. I might not know the concept personally, but yeah.

But to me at least, it's never been the point of being aroace???? the, well the centre of it?????

like, to me being aroace is not feeling romantic attraction/sexual attraction

or being on the spectrum of something like that.

tbh it's a bit easier to understand the spectrum if you think it's kinda like the nonbinary spectrum.

I'm a demigirl, I can safely say I fall under that.

So....maybe ?? It's like that for aroaces too? ...sorta?

I just feel like everyone keeps on dismissing the aroace thing, just to focus on their fantasies.

Like.

I don't know following my previous thought, I see Alastor (ohhhh) kinda like Paintbrush (II)

I might not understand much, but Paintbrush is nonbinary they/them

being nonbinary is a spectrum, but their identity in particular is also the clear 100% of what you first things first think a nonbinary person is. the pinnacle, the top of a mountain.

kinda like non-diluted alcohol.

the (1)

To me Alastor has never really been stated to like ummmm....... well...... be apart of the 'Ace people can feel sexual attraction too' thing? or maybe romantic attraction for aromantics....??? I dunno

There's lots of terms tbh, arospec, acespec, I can say im nonbinary and still be a demigirl.

can acespec people say they're ace and still mean that too? bweh....

but like, yeah.

I think I always saw Alastor as like a clear no on those topics, so I've always disliked people loving to ship him....... sorryy?????????

then this sorta stuff happens irl, and I just.

feel pissed.

because it feels like weird weird weird discourse is targetted towards aro's and ace's in particular and I nfjcjcksjdcndkjd.fjcmn. if i see one more guy say weird shit about clothing being an invitation,

ugh.

[fagdykevash]

oh sorry, did i not lick your boots enough when i wrote that image description for you? my bad

people's accessibility discord, for your ID needs

[fuckyeah-bears]

you know 99% of the time i get nice, totally reasonable, polite, and frequently kind asks on bearotonin. but every now and then i get some asks that just make me wanna reply snarkily so badly lmao

[kyliafanfiction]

I’m just gonna reblog this for the late morning/afternoon crowd because I did post this pretty late last night, and I’m very proud of this review, so there.

Contract Bound by Elle Mae

Tl;dr

Contract Bound by Elle Mae is a lesbian vampire x vampire hunter enemies to lovers romance.

It is an good read, though obviously if one isn't interested in a dark, toxic - to varying degrees - f/f romance involving vampires, it may not be for you.

Personally? I very much enjoyed it, and while I have too many books on my too read-pile to spend the money on the sequel now, I will almost certainly be getting the sequel (Lost Clause) sooner or later. Whether or not you will like it depends on you. Perhaps the longer review below the readmore will help you decide. (see the bottom of the post for a non-exhaustive list of links on where to get it, as well as details on potential triggers the story contains)

The Premise

The book centers on two characters - Silva, a Hunter for The Order, which is the organization that polices vampires and hunts ones that break the law. They also can be contracted by vampires (law-abiding ones) to protect them against other vampires, or 'Rebels' (humans that want to kill all vampires, even ones that don't kill or who can't be proven to have broken the laws) Her parents were hunters, and she came home one day to find them killed by vampires. (This is all shown in the prologue). She signs up with the Order, and devotes her life to killing vampires. She hates vampires.

The other character is Keir, the heir to the most powerful vampire clan in the world, or so we are told, and a child who acts out to piss off her father. She is due to inherit the clan soon, due to laws imposed by the order that put limits on how long clan heads may remain clan heads. her father, Raphael, is not happy about it, and does everything he can to try and control and restrict her, including contracting with the Order to get her a bodyguard/babysitter to keep her from going out to clubs, picking up girls, seducing them, drinking from them, taking them home, fucking them, wash rinse repeat. Keir, not wanting a bodyguard/babysitter, has gone out of her way to seduce, tempt or otherwise convince every hunter she's gotten assigned to her to break the contract or the rules hunters must abide by. As the back of the book says "whether it was sex, money or power, none of them could resist the temptation."

Obviously, you can see where this is going - the Order sends Silva to be the latest guard, trusting in the fact that she hates vampires so much, and the fact that if she completes the contract her entire debt to the order will be paid off (more on that later) to make sure she stays in line. it's only a few months, and then Keir will be clan head after the power transfer.

And of course, Keir immediately sets out to seduce Silva, only to find out that it isn't quite as simple as she thought it would be - and then, as tensions between them rise, and things happen, they're both faced with a reality they quickly want to deny, each for their own reasons.

It is, about what you'd expect - mostly. In terms of basic tropes and premises, it is an enemies to lovers story involving a vampire and a vampire hunter. It manages to be more than just the tropes, but if you don't like the tropes, you won't like the book.

I will warn that the ending is far, far from happy - it isn't unhappy, this story is not a Dead Lesbian Trope story, but bear that in mind. If you want your queer, toxic vampire drama to end on a fairly positive note, this book is not for you. Admittedly, I do hold out hope that the sequel will provide at least a bittersweet ending, but I was content with the ending for this book, knowing a sequel existed.

The Pros

The two characters have strong voices, and you will find yourself enjoying their POVs, and rooting for their romance as it starts to take hold. It has just the right notes of spiciness in all the right places.

It is indeed very hot, and the humor, dark though it often is, hits quite well. It has a fairly engaging cast of secondary characters operating around the main couple, and it presents Silvia with several moral challenges about her role as a Hunter and the Order, and equally, forces Keir to consider things in ways she never had before. Keir finds herself quickly fascinated by this hunter she can't break, who so clearly wants her, and of course, once Silvia starts to give in, she has that hatred for Keir mixed with the fact she hates herself for not hating Keir as much as she should.

The plot manages to have a number of satisfying twists, that while I didn't see coming - or at least not in the way they did, in some cases - they feel earned, rather than unearned or out of nowhere.

It is exactly what I was looking for involving lesbians, vampires, and enemies to lovers. It hit all the right notes in every way - I've said it several times, but if you are looking for what this story is, then it is very good, and you likely will enjoy it.

The ending was intensely emotionally satisfying despite being not happy. In a 'wreck the reader' sort of way.

The Neutral

The story lacks a strong sense of place, at least to me - the action mostly happens in and around Seattle, by all accounts, but for all that that is relevant, the story could be happening anywhere in America. There's tantalizing hints as to why so many vampires are in America, including the leader of the most powerful clan, a vampire who has been around for many centuries (or more, his exact age is never provided), but they are not really followed up on. (More on this later) This isn't necessarily bad, but it is worth noting.

The story treats vampirism as more an infection than a supernatural state happening to dead bodies, although one does have to die first to be a vampire, and being turned into a vampire is a way to not die if you are dying from some sort of injury. This - the vampirism being an infection rather than supernatural - is generally not a version of the vampire as a concept I personally care for, but that's a question of personal taste rather than a knock against the book.

In connection with the above, it also has vampires as something that can be born - two vampires can have a vampire kid, a vampire and a human can have a vampire kid - not a dhampir, or anything like that, an actual vampire (though half-human vampires need sleep and food, but they still need blood and are very much considered vampires in-universe). Again, this isn't something I really care for, but again, it's a question of personal taste.

The Cons

The biggest con, and arguably this is subjective, but it bugged me enough that I'm going to put it here, is the thin worldbuilding. We are given hints, about the emergency of vampires being this big deal that created mass chaos until the Order was established, but the details are left vague, at best, and it kept bothering me.

The Order appears to be a private organization, but also a government one, filling both functions, but none of this is laid out.

The reasons for why vampire clans work the way they do, why all vampires are largely so much in awe of Raphael (Keir's father) and his clan are implied, and not well explored.

The Order is presented as an intensely controlling, dickish organization that uses its Hunters and spits them back out - which is not exactly an uncommon trope, and some of it makes sense in-universe, but other parts - very much do not. Their controlling, jerk behavior to their own people, let alone their hilarious disregard for civilian casualties (and their apparent license to commit them) as well as some of their more absurd or draconian rules, seems to be there mainly to create conflict for Silva, but the problem is, these rules and behaviors make the Order's job much harder, to a rather nonsensical degree, as far as I can tell. Yes, people and institutions can be jerks, massive, giant jerks, but when that jerkishness undermines their ability to fulfill their function, especially in fiction, a little more explanation is needed.

Another issue is that the Order apparently keeps all it's hunters in debt, like indentured servants, as a means of controlling them. Being trained as a hunter costs money as do your room and board at Hunter HQ, which is still cheaper than living outside of it. They provide some meals free, but only two a day. And the only way to get money to pay off your debt is working missions to kill vampires, or trying to find other ways to make money (the main character alludes to a period early on in her career where she and her friends started doing chores for a high-ranking member of the Order). Since it seems that many Hunters join the Order because of personal tragedy at the hands of vampires, it seems very odd that this would be necessary. Though the Order is so cruel and controlling that even though Silva hates vampires, she does leap at the chance to have her debt covered entirely. In terms of the story, the debt does seem to serve as a necessary plot device to get Silvia to take the mission and then stay long enough for the 'to lovers' part to start to kick in, but it feels like a choice with less implications for the larger worldbuilding would have been better and done the job just as well. Because again, the seeming incoherence of it all bugged me throughout the book, even as I enjoyed it.

Which is really my issue with the worldbuilding in general - it is very thin, and yet keeps hinting at and teasing at implications. I don't know if the author intends to provide answers in the sequel, or if there never will be much followup. I didn't pick up the book with worldbuilding as a major draw, so the lack of it isn't a major detraction (though I am talking about it at length here, it didn't stop me from enjoying the book at all, it's just takes more words to say and I am, by nature, not prone to gushing in great detail about what I like about something), but it did bug me throughout the story.

I don't mind a story not doing a lot of worldbuilding, but when a story hints at greater worldbuilding just beyond the scope of the story, and doesn't follow through, that does bother me. If the author wanted to just focus on the romance over the worldbuilding, then I think they shouldn't have provided so many tantalizing hints and teases and implications, and then not followed up on them to any significant degree, if at all.

Conclusion

Though the thin worldbuilding was a distraction and a negative, overall, the story is excellent at being what it sets out to be, and for that, I did love it. I wanted an f/f vampire x vampire hunter dark romance, and I got that in spades, and a few more things I didn't expect.

But, if you are the kind of reader that needs the worldbuilding to hang together or be good, or seeks out worldbuilding in your vampire stories, this may not be it for you.

Trigger Warnings For The Story

The book actually does have some surprisingly good trigger warnings before you actually get to the story, in the first few pages. But of course, you have to buy the book first to see those. From the Author's website, we have this accurate list of warnings

The themes can include but are not limited to; sexual assault mention, death, gore, parental abuse, nonconsensual biting, off and slight on page SA, trafficking mention, dubious consent, blood play, biting, self harm, tourture, violence.

Of those, I think bloodplay, gore, death and the two biting ones should be pretty obvious - it's a vampire story. Still, better to list them. Of the rest, dubious consent, violence and torture were the ones that really stood out to me as worth drawing attention to. If any of those are significant issues for you, you may want to be careful about the book - that doesn't mean don't buy it or read it if it is otherwise interesting, obviously how or if you engage with what squicks or triggers you is up to you, but always keep that in mind.

How To Get

Full disclosure, there are all on US versions of these websites, I don't know availability outside the US or prices or anything like that, but one would assume the ebook is available through amazon in other countries if nothing else. In principle some of these options should also be available in other countries, but in practice, I don't know. I apologize for my US centrism.

If you want an ebook copy, there appears to be only one way to get it, Amazon. On principle, I'm not going to provide a link to Amazon, but googling 'Contract Bound by Elle Mae' should turn up the amazon page in the first few results. The price there is $4.99.

It appears to be the case, but I am not 100% sure, so please, be careful, that you may be able to get an ebook copy of this book and the author's other books through her Patreon. But like I said, I'm not sure.

You can order a physical copy online, but is of course substantively more expensive. Through Amazon it is $15.99, through Barnes & Noble's website it is $16.99, and on Books A Million it is also $16.99, though it appears shipping is significantly more expensive through them. I think the best option would be Bookshop.org, as buying through them does support independent bookstores (affiliated independent bookstores get a small portion of all sales that aren't done through a specific store's affiliate link. You can also choose to use a specific store's affiliate link to search for the book and then buy it for them to get more directly), but it is the most expensive option, running at $19.54

You may be able to request that your local library buy it, if they haven't already gotten it

Depending on if you have a local independent bookstore or another bookstore that is willing to do special orders to get a book delivered to the store and then you come pick them up (I believe Books A Million Does This), you may be able to request they order it. Procedures for this can be simple or complex. Some bookstores may not want to do this, or may charge you more than it would cost online, as the cost to bookstores through Ingram (one of the main channels for small bookstores to get books) is fairly high relative to the price it costs through larger retailers. If you have more questions, you can ask me, and I'll try to elaborate further.

I don't know of any other ways to obtain the book at this time, but if anyone else does know of others, or has specific details on how one can get it in other countries, please let me know and I'll try to add them to this post or in a reblog.

If you do get the book, I hope you enjoy it!

[galedekarios]

Do you check first to see if the people whose posts you react to on your blog follow you, or do you not really care if they see your reaction?

i'm posting my personal opinion on my personal blog to something i saw several times over in the main tags.

i'm not sure what you want me to say here, but no, i have neither the time or spoons to check who follows me or doesn't follow me every single time i make a post, nor do i find that healthy behaviour. i try to not look at my follower count at all.

[dallonwrites]

bestie how the fuck do you start writing again when you haven't written in years bc you're so paralyzed with Fear of Writing Badly mixed with How Do I Get Started and also WHAT do I write about HELP

I WANT to write but every part of it is. so. DAUNTING

Ohhh bestie I have BEEN there. Whenever I take breaks from writing I find myself scared that I'll have just….forgotten to write?? I think the fear of "bad writing" is amplified when you don't write for a while, however long, because you have to like hype yourself up to go back to writing and it's like what if I do all that and then I just can't do it? Returning to writing, especially after a long time, for me has taken a lot of mental work, trying to understand what will make writing fun and healthy for me. A lot of it, honestly, is easier said than done, but also it's mental work you'll keep doing after you start writing again and as you write, and for me it's easier to process my relationship with writing when I am actually writing.

A big part of that mental work for me, and something I think is so valuable, is to reconsider what "bad" writing is and give yourself permission to write it. Sometimes you will think your writing sucks, happens to all of us, but that isn't all it has to be. Like yeah, I'll think something I wrote sucks, but I still wrote it. I can revisit it and work on it and maybe I'll turn it into something I'm happy with. And even if I don't, I still wrote it, I learned from it. Writing does not need to be "good" by whatever standard we're holding it up to for it to have value. And you can delete it! Nobody has to see it! Also you can have fun writing something and still think it's not your best. I've written a lot of "bad" scenes that I had fun with because the scene was entertaining to me! I love when writing turns out how I like it, or I write a banger prose line, but equally I found it helpful to give myself permission to not worry about that all the time and just focus on my interest/enjoyment in what I'm writing, regardless of the "quality". Again, easier said than done, but something I've found easier the more I write, because you'll have bad writing days but you'll also have writing days that are so good

I know a lot of people see writing as a skill that they want to improve, and like I agree it feels really good to see your writing grow, but writing is so much more than the skill and the craft and the theory. There is no objective "perfection" to reach with writing like we are not Sims with levelled skills LOL. Writing is art and creativity and it should be fun and fulfilling. And IMO, the more you focus on what makes writing fun, you will grow and "improve" as a writer a lot quicker and in a way that is a lot more enjoyable than if you treat writing like some icy quest for perfection. You also get to decide what "good" writing is for you/your story. Some of my stories are more prose focused and I'll play more with language, imagery etc. Others are more about the plot and just having fun imagining this scene. Sometimes it's a mix of both. What is "good" writing depends on the writer, story, genre, etc. There is no one way to write.

I'm rambling a lot because I'm just really passionate about this and I cannot express enough how easier writing got, including all the difficult and ugly and frustrating parts, when I gave space to prioritise my enjoyment and fun. People love to romanticise the idea of the "struggling" writer. I see stuff on here and I'm like you guys….writing should be fun. Like yeah sometimes it's hard and we should talk about that but like, you Need to make sure you are having fun. Anyway I'm going to try not to ramble and bullet point some things that helped me:

Make Writing Fun: Lol! Literally whatever makes writing fun. Sometimes I just write super indulgent scenes and the fun of that sets me up to work on my projects. When I work on my projects I try to find what in each scene I'm going to enjoy the most, and focus on that to help me write the rest. I make playlists, moodboards, memes, art etc for my story because it's fun, and it helps me be engaged with my story outside of writing it. Just, have fun.

On productivity: some people will benefit from setting clear goals and running towards them. Some people don't. For me it depends on my headspace. I don't think productivity is a bad thing, it can feel good, but productivity should not be the only reason you write. And the most productive writing process is whichever one makes writing enjoyable for you, because that's how you'll get words on the page

On that note, please be wary of anyone online who who treats the writing advice they share as Fact. I'm not saying every writing teacher out there does...but some of them market it that way! And creators do not have an authority on writing just because they have a platform however big. There are some AMAZING content creators out there who talk about writing, and I have found them motivating, but like just let yourself be picky about who you listen to/engage with. I say this because I consumed some very Strict writing advice when I was younger and it literally contributed to my years long slump so like...I'm picky now LOL

About goals: Personally, gentle goals are what help me get back into writing. Maybe just write for 20 minutes, or write every day for a couple days. When I do word count goals, I base them on how I feel that day, and recently I don't make a word count, I'll transfer it to the next session but smaller. So if I try to write 500 words but can't I'll say okay, lets try 250 next time. Goals can be a great motivator and way to feel achieved, and maybe bigger goals will help you, but you're also allowed to adjust them as you go to make it easier

On finding new ideas, having been there before, you don't need a fully fleshed out idea to start writing. My longest break I came back to writing with...one character and a backstory? If you have stories/characters already you can revisit them, either build on what you have or completely change it. Or if you don't have that, if there's a piece of media you like you can take that concept and play around with it in your own way, or you can even just write fanfic until you have your own idea (if you want your own idea, fanfic is cool too!) You can even just find a cool pic on pinterest and play around with describing it, writing about it, seeing if you can get anything from that. Ideas are everywhere and they can be tiny, and I think if you have that want to write you Will find your story eventually. All writers have had the Idea struggle, but I think the more you engage with writing and think about what concepts and stories interest you already, the more you'll like train yourself to get ideas

That was very long and maybe a lot but like, I am very passionate about this! I've been in writing "slumps" where I didn't know if I would write again, I've started writing again with no ideas, and in those times all I had was the fact I knew I wanted to write. There are a lot of reasons why we end up having long breaks from writing and it is totally normal, sometimes beneficial for us, and we should never give ourselves a hard time for not writing for however long. But also remember that you can always come back. Every one of us has the capacity to create, whatever that looks like, and you can make it as self indulgent and self serving as you want.

[fitzrove]

Men's literary autofiction is about the boundaries of consciousness/life/death, how hard it is to be a genius artperson, professional identity, universal questions of choice and morality, etc. Women's literary autofiction is about trauma, parents, children, heterosexuality and mental illness 🤩🤩

[gailynovelry]

Hi! Hi. Guess who's in. Love y'all.