#Sometimes 'the real thing' is mostly just branding haha

[stellaluna33]

So, I had the opportunity recently (thanks to some birthday money and a really good deal) to buy some British wool tweed, like the Real Stuff, and... GUYS. 😭 Ok, so the interesting thing is that right now I can directly compare it to another wool tweed that was given to me from someone else's fabric stash, one that was probably woven very cheaply somewhere else.

The "real" stuff is so dense, tightly-woven, and sturdy... It's just gorgeous... The weave is so firm that the cut edge isn't unraveling AT ALL! It's hardy, and it just feels exactly like the kind of thing you'd want to be wearing while tramping across the moors and avoiding getting tangled in some gorse bushes or something... 😆 (I've never met a gorse bush, but I've READ about them)

And the other stuff... It's wool! I'll give it that! But it's just loosely woven and flimsy and floppy and just kind of disappointing? 😆 The person I got it from SERGED the cut edge just to stop it from unraveling on the shelf! Any wind would just cut right through it, and if it met a gorse bush, then WELL... I think the gorse bush would win, is all I'm saying...

The difference is just night and day, and like, have you ever come across something that's just a perfect embodiment of the Thing it's SUPPOSED to be? The British Tweed actually from Britain really is that Thing.

[rius-cave]

Hi! I faintly remember you mentioning somewhere that you were planning to get a new drawing tablet. Did you end up purchasing one? If yes, would you mind sharing your choice? I've been using a small screenless wacom tablet for years and I need a new one now, but I've been thinking about getting a better one this time. Is it even worth it if I only draw as a hobby?

Hi! Yup, I did get one! Here's a random pic of my workspace (+ extra sneak peek of StOP lol)

I got a Huion Kamvas 16 (2.5k) :)

I take getting a new drawing tablet VERY SERIOUSLY so I spent a long time considering my options. If you're looking to buy a new one, I do have some recommendations!

1) Never buy Wacom again lol

Here's the thing, Wacom is a good brand, my first tablet was Wacom too, but they are the Apple of drawing tablets. Sure, they're good quality, but they're HORRENDOUSLY overpriced, you're mainly just purchasing the brand when you buy one. A few years ago they were the obvious choice because they were the best around, but nowadays? Other brands are just as good if not BETTER for sometimes half the price (or even less).

If you're debating on whether or not to get a pen display (with a screen), that honestly would depend mostly on your budget. Even if you're a hobbyist, getting a pen display is fine, the most important factor is how much you are willing to spend on one of these. The one I got is like a semi professional tablet and it's priced at $599 on the official store, right now they have a sale and it's at $529 (though I got it for much cheaper lol)

The other factor would honestly be how you work + what kind of space you have. As you can tell, my desk is small and it's kinda cramped, there are A LOT OF CABLES with this thing and I think that's kinda the standard for pen displays :/ I'm also having to readjust to how to work with the buttons + the keyboard. (you can get an extra small keypad for this, but I didn't). Moreover, if you want something that's portable, these... Are not great for that, they're usually big boys and like I said, there are a lot of cables

I have to say, I only got it like a week ago and I'm having to readjust to this new way of working, but the actual experience while drawing and using the pen is quite nice! The large working area is interesting and I think I'm drawing faster with it! I always wanted to get one of these and I'm very happy with my purchase.

So yeah! It has pros and cons, but overall it's a good experience. Don't feel pressure to switch to a pen display though, normal pen tablets work just fine obviously and if you're not crazy about the idea of a pen display, or you don't have the budget, it's not really a deal breaker. For real though, don't get Wacom lol Huion and XP pen are two of the best, affordable brands right now.

Lastly, check the specs! Check the reviews! Check unboxings! Preferably from people that were not sponsored by the brand (they'll obviously talk better about the product). This applies to any new tablet you get, whether it's a pen display or a pen tablet. Compare models if you need to, I was debating between this one and a similar xp pen model and I was lucky enough to find a girl reviewing both of them and comparing them.

Sorry I went on kinda long haha but I hope it helped!! Good luck!

[thunderheadfred]

🦅Hawks HC’s🦅

This is SO unnecessarily long. Some NSFW. Minors do not interact.

- - - - -

General

Has zero social life or hobbies outside of work. He knows it’s unhealthy, but like, who has the time?? Oh? Lots of people do?? Haha what are healthy work/home boundaries? He desperately wants to retire and always talks about a world without heroes, but the truth is he would have no idea what to do with himself if he got his way. Take him to a park at midnight and watch him turn into a giant repressed child on a swing. He’ll do a standing-360 and it will be terrifying.

Listens to music way too loud in his headphones to drown out wind noise. Probably half deaf at this point. His musical taste is wild; listening history all over the fucking place. Algorithms have no idea what to do with him.

That visor? It’s prescription. Wow is he far-sighted. He wears glasses. He’s not blind without them (rather the opposite) but they help him see things directly in front of him without massive eye strain. Yeah, he looks really hot in glasses.

Prefers communicating via text. Sometimes it’s a lot of dumb memes, but mostly it’s sincere. He can say what he means when he doesn’t have to put on a public front.

Smokes like a chimney. Self medicates with stimulants. Coffee, tobacco, sugar. Fidgety, likes things in his mouth or hands. Gnashes on toothpicks and popsicle sticks. He really should go back to therapy, huh? His teeth are sparkling white for the cameras but his breath could use some work. Chews gum a lot to compensate, and always does it really loudly with a big shit-eating grin.

Impatient as fuuuuuck. Rude about it. If you take too long doing anything, you’re going to hear a foot tapping. He’ll smile and laugh it off, never ever directly criticize you about it. But lord, the dramatic sighs. He WILL nudge you out of the way and take over in order to finish a task faster, and it’s truly fucking annoying.

LOVES food. Has the metabolism of an actual bird. Will seize upon any excuse to eat. No need to be self-conscious about eating in front of him; he wants you to enjoy it. Steals bites from you and talks with his mouth full. Prefers street food and take-out, usually eats while walking or flying. Sit-down restaurants are an invitation for gawkers.

He’s one of those celebrities that looks way taller on TV. In real life, he’s small and compact. So you’re surprised the first time you see him in person. He has a big head. Literally.

If you’re taller or bigger than him, he does Not Care. He treats everyone like they’re four feet tall, even Endeavor. Everything you do is cute. If you’re actually short, he’s going to carry you around all the time, and there’s nothing you can do about it.

Collects big chunky overpriced watches. All the better to tell you you’re late.

Half his clothes are brand fucking new. Sometimes he forgets to take off the tags. (Don’t look at the prices, do NOT) He never seems to wear the same thing twice. He also never seems to go shopping. Brands just give him stuff, and he shrugs and goes “yeah okay.”

The other half of his clothes are old, faded, and patched up. Every item he acquires for himself has deep sentimental value. If you tell him to throw away that nasty ten-year-old pair of frayed cargo pants, be prepared to find out how wrong and evil you are for even suggesting it.

He doesn’t snore; he coos. Loudly. Like a fucking pigeon trapped in a megaphone.

- - - - -

Dating

Gift-giving is his love language. Bringing your favorite snacks. Leaving novelty magnets on your fridge. He found a copy of that book/game/movie you mentioned like a month ago, don’t you remember? If he has to go out of town on a job, he’ll bring back the ugliest possible souvenir, just to annoy you.

He likes gifting jewelry especially. Covering you in shiny baubles, little golden things. Not expensive, but unusual. Antiques or handmade, even bizarre vending machine crap. Gets really handsy if you wear or show off his gifts.

Since you’re the first person who has given him The Feels, if you are resistant to his advances (like, say, because he’s way too famous and you’re terrified he’s gonna break your heart) he’s going to go fucking nuts trying to woo you. Doesn’t have a single patient bone in his body but will wait as long as it takes for you to come around. He’ll act like he’s cool with just being friends at first, just hanging out, haha. Oh you’re busy today? That’s cool. Inside he’s shrieking like a tea kettle. Go ahead, make him wait.

Don’t bother giving him a key to your place. He’s coming in through the bedroom window or patio door. Just put out a damn welcome mat on your balcony... or a bird feeder.

A bit of a voyeur. He likes to watch you do your normal routine without interruption. He can see from miles away so if you’ve got your lights on at night, he’ll creep for a while before he comes in. It comforts him immensely, seeing a little slice of the world that isn’t constantly in need of saving.

Is super talkative and funny but a terrible communicator. Makes more jokes the worse he feels. Will almost never tell you what he needs. Most of the time, he doesn’t even know. You will learn to read between the lines and gradually notice his tiny unconscious cries for help. Back rubs make him emotional.

He shows up at your place at the weirdest times. All hours. You’re never ready. At first it was infuriating, because you wanted to look your best and have time to prepare, but you figure out pretty quickly that seeing you in your natural state is his favorite thing. He never gets to be around normal people, doing normal things. A boring, lazy afternoon is his idea of paradise.

He’ll pick through your things and ask a world of invasive questions. A medicine cabinet raider. He wants to know every fucking tiny thing about you, live vicariously through you.

He actually lives in a top floor penthouse. Because I mean, where else? Never spends any time there; mostly he seems to roost on the balcony. He has used the front door maybe once. He much prefers your place, and will only take you back to his after months of dating. It’ll take like, an entire emergency. You’ll end up in his bed by mistake.

Because when you finally come over, he’s embarrassed. Its sparse. White. Things in boxes. A new furniture smell. Like he’s not done moving in, though he’s lived there for years. He wants you to move in So Bad but doesn’t want to be pushy. If you don’t start leaving your stuff there, he’ll steal things from your apartment. Where the hell is your favorite t-shirt? Or that pillowcase you like? Dammit Keigo.

He’s a decent cook, a habit he made himself pick up because he thought it might make him feel more normal. It... didn’t. He never actually cooks until you give him an excuse. He’ll bring you breakfast in bed and watch you eat every bite with big hungry eyes.

He’s got a separate wardrobe for his hero costume and all his feathers. Yeah. His feathers. Because he can detach and control his feathers at will, when he’s alone at home he kind of just... shucks off his wings. The first time you see him do it, your eyes fall out of your head. He walks around in a tee shirt and boxers with these ugly little stumps covered in brownish, blood-red down. It actually looks kind of gnarly, like he got mauled by a bear.

He’s never dated until you. No one has ever been in his apartment until you. No one has called him Keigo until you. He has some bigass intimacy issues. Because. Y’know. The trauma. But god, he wants you in his life so bad, even if he has no idea how to make time for your relationship.

He’ll want to keep you to himself for a while. Once you go public he’s going to have an arm around your shoulders at all times. Publicly Displays his Affection way more than is socially acceptable in Japan, and gives precisely -100,000 fucks.

His fans either love you or hate you. There is no in between. He will immediately take your phone and threaten to drop it from a great height if he catches you reading shitty gossip about the two of you. Does NOT care about his public image anymore, doesn’t want YOU to care about it either. He’s gonna retire soon anyway, remember? That’s a lie.

Being a charming motherfucker is the core of his public persona, so you will get jealous. A lot. He will flirt shamelessly without realizing it. He will get photographed in compromising positions with gorgeous people.

Once you accept that he’s basically an actor 80% of the time and that Hawks and Keigo are separate identities, you’ll both feel better. When he comes home (to YOU) and falls over exhausted and stops being Hawks(tm), when he scratches his ass or burps in front of you, when he yells to you from the bathroom, when he groans childishly about his shitty day while laying face-down in your lap, you’ll know you have nothing to worry about. Keigo is all yours.

Boundaries? Never heard of ‘em. He’s either a million lightyears away or he’s glued to your hip. The whiplash is astounding.

Absolutely says “I love you” wayyyyyy to soon. It thrills you but scares you off at the same time, because there’s no way Hawks - The Hawks - can actually mean it, right? (He does)

Rings? Nah. When things get serious, he will make a necklace out of a feather for you, and if you ever take it off, you better be asleep or in the shower. Even then you’re on thin fuckin ice. If you’re not wearing it he knows. He’s never mean about making you put it back on, it just makes him nervous if he can’t feel your heartbeat.

- - - - -

SPICY CHICKEN NUGGETS

High sex drive. Horny like 25/7. Probably a symptom of having way too much pent up stress.

Often takes care of it himself when he doesn’t have the emotional resources for anyone else, even his S.O. Figures you don’t want him coming on to you as often as he would like to, but he’s too stupid to talk to you about it first. Morning masturbator.

Yes he’s fucked around a lot but he’s not exactly a playboy either. People have always thrown themselves at him, and before he met you he let them do it. Especially when out of town and staying in a hotel. Whatever happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, etc.

He’d never be unfaithful to you though; his loyalty and dedication are frankly a little unsettling. Sometimes you feel like the only thing in his life other than hero work. Teach this man to knit. Make him join a book club. Christ. Anything.

Does in fact have seasonal mating patterns and it’s super embarrassing.

An underwear-sniffing perv. He’ll definitely hump your pillow.

Gets a sick thrill out of breaking in and startling you. Coming up behind you in the dark, sneaking into your bed. It’s probably his worst habit, and even he hates that he does it. If you get better at detecting him he’ll be so proud. Land a slap on him and he’ll be a horny mess.

Dog-whistles at you. Often from rooftops, and you have no idea where he is but you know he’s leering.

He will call you a lot of really stupid pet names. He likes the way you blush when he finds a newer, stupider one. Calls you angel when he’s really far gone.

Likes to scratch you with his stubble until your skin turns raw and sensitive. If it annoys you or hurts a little? Even better. Making you squirm is his new favorite thing. Especially when going down on you. Your inner thighs are always exfoliated.

His cock is average in every respect. This is not a bad thing. He knows how to please you with every totally normal inch of that cock. He has some kind of homing beacon installed on your sensitive spots.

Goes absolutely insane for blowjobs. Any time, any place.

Likes to bend you around in all kinds of positions with an assist from his feathers to hold up an ankle here, an arm there. Get used to floating mid-coitus. It just seems to happen.

Spanky.

His number one priority is making you feel adored and at home in his bed. Ohhhhh he likes to make you smile. But if you encourage him to get pushy and dominant with you, you will have a good, good time.

He’s switchy, and will lose his shit if you initiate or take control. Again, he’s always horny for you, because he can finally let go. Breathe in his direction and he’s hard.

Doesn’t moan much, but Babe, he’s a dirty talker. He’s not smooth or deliberate about it, it’s more like he can’t fucking believe you let him do whatever he wants to you. You like that huh? Like he’s in stages of shock. He’s singing your praises to high Heaven and muttering oh shit oh shit oh shittttttt and laugh-crying as he cums. He never talks about his feelings; he fucks about them.

After. Care. King. He loves pampering and clucking over you anyway, this is simply another excuse to do it. He knows exactly how much water you drink in a day. Can’t take care of himself for shit, but you? You’ll never have a need he won’t try to fill. What’s all that hero work for if not this? Yeah, soak it up. You deserve it.

[robynlilyblack]

I'm sorry about how many I've asked 😂

3. Trope that makes you cringe?

7. Do you ever request fanfic from others?do you request anonymously?

23. Do you enjoy getting feedback?

30 which character do you find easiest/hardest to write?

43 how many drafts do you usually do before you finalize a fic?

45 do you wish your followers interacted with you more?

61 what is something you wish you could say to your favorite character?

🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼

No worries love thank you 💛

3. In Harry potter ones I think the love potion made them cheat, i get it but it makes me feel a bit weird. In general fanfics (usually long haul ones) i know there needs to be some drama after the characters get together but the introducing a brand new character just for jealousy? Like i’d prefer fluffy domestic stuff like them arguing about dishes or work or something but thats just me being a softie for the real stuff 😅

7. Yes I have, I’ve done it both anonymously (pre writting and when i first started this blog) and as myself, at present I now just send in things as me since i’m more confident x

23. YES! Love it when i see someone comment, especially little quotes from my diaologe or specific scenes just makes my whole day 💕 I also don’t mind if people give me advice or if i got something wrong, it helps me improve x

30. Freddie and Sirius come very natural to me (which is ironic as they are the loudest and imma shy hermit) x Remus and Draco i defo need to be in the mood to write as i go through phases with them. Other characters that are like side charaters in fics, James and Marlene aww i love them to bits! Alex and Amos from bookshop girl also very easy. I’d probs say maybe ginny, ron, mione etc are the hardest to write because i’ve written marauders era so much...hint hint send me golden era stuff hehe (but also love writing marauders so please son’t stop those either haha)

43. So i have the base plan (all bullet pointed), then it depends on my mood whether i write detailed from the start (this happens when i’m most inspried) or i write rough, mostly dialogue. Anyway it’s probably one draft and then i go through it adding in little deatials sometimes even an extra scene before going away to sleep or eat before giving it one last read through and then post. So probs 1-2 for requests and maybe 3-4 with my own series and oneshots

45. Sometimes? I feel like everyone craves it but i favourite thing is seeing the same people popping up on my activity, or when i see someone like a fic then proceed to go down one of my masterlists just gives me so much serotonin. Only thing i’ll never say no to is comments even if its just a quote you liked it helps me figure out what dialogue people like and if i’m writing the characters well x

61. Wish you were real haha, honestly i’s probably thank them for being a constant in my life, being something no one can ever take from me and giving me just sheer unadulterated happiness 💛

[keithsguitar]

tldr: I will be taking a 21 day hiatus and why, if you care.

This is part of a fast I am doing from social media to 1) refocus my life on God and 2) to be my own person—not the Internet’s bitch.

I love what Matthew 6:16-18 says; I do not mean to come across as boastful about a fast at all, but I want to give an explanation of sorts. I know not everyone is religious so it’ll be mostly about the negative aspects social media can have on us.

1. Idolatry

Social media has potential to be literal venom. Here on tumblr, idolatry is a serious thing. I see an opportunity to put on the brakes, and I want to trust my gut.

I saw Keith live twice this month and I realized how much I love liking him for what he is: a guy who plays guitar. He’s a kick ass player and is a significant figure in rock music. He’s nothing more than that to me and I don’t want him to.

Sometimes I do feel myself stepping on the line between liking his work and him generally and being those people who make me cringe. I love being dramatic and goofy in the tags of course and always, but yeah, I never ever ever ever want to like a celebrity for more than the random person they are.

I see people creating their own personas of celebrities and becoming attached to these their versions of strangers. Spending more time thinking about them, talking about them than they do with their family, friends, and community. More time online than doing things in real life of their own creation. And it’s just scary.

2. Nurturing your actual interests

I asked myself why I even had a Stones and Beatles account. BC I LOVE MUSIC. i love love music. Country, blues, rock are just etched on my heart. But what serves my passions more? Practicing my guitar, playing with others, playing for others, becoming more knowledgeable on it? Bc tumblr isn’t that. Tumblr is feeding an obsession with celebrities.

Social media is a slippery slope. You start bc you think it’s a way to connect with friends, people who like what you do, etc. And it can be. But it’s not. Maybe some peoples passion is more akin to being like a historian for a certain person or people or whatever. But it’s not mine. And I just don’t feel tumblr serves a purpose in my passions it’s just a magnet to create and feed obsessions i don’t even want to have.

3. People

I have met a couple of mutuals who I love interacting/talking to and will be counting down to days to talk to them again!! I really like the community I’ve seen through my blog and getting to chat about things we have in common. BUT (bc there is always one with me)

I just sadly have grown tired of the some aspects of the stones fandom here as well. A few accounts are more obsessed and honestly tragically, utterly attached to the versions of keith, mick, ronnie, and charlie they’ve created in their heads for their entertainment out of idk loneliness/boredom??? than being people who are interested them for the people they are and their work. And it’s just like so weird and exhausting to scroll past the nonsense every time I open tumblr.

For example, yes I love making jokes: mick and Keith are married haha. BUT THATS IT. i can’t get over how weird and gross it is to me that people legitimately force these sexualities on them and make them (especially keith and mick) characters of their own perversions through insinuations or fan fiction or art or whatever. Like i just imagine what they would say if they ever saw what people say about them here. They would hate it…. It’s literally so weird like how are we so brainwashed we think it’s ok??????

Another way people become fascinated with identities they create for other people is the “charlie hates everyone and he wants to leave” caption under every single one of his pictures bc God forbid he just was more serious is nature. That joke is funny once or twice but now it’s his trademark and brand on tumblr when those people couldn’t tell you anything meaningful or useful about his drumming style or anything really substantial. Stuff like that makes me think like huh…. What am I even doing here..? It’s like the same couple stories from each person get passed on and it’s like…. I’m not trying to do what a lot of the fandom is trying to do or what gets the most attention…. Idk if this part is making sense to anyone lol

4. Conclusion

Obviously it’s gotten to a point where I’m a bit over saturated. I knew I was not gonna have tumblr forever bc I was gonna grow out of it when I was older.

Now feels like a good time to reflect on why I’m even doing this because I think I’ve gotten to that point. Maybe after 21 days I’ll be in a better headspace to monitor my own use. We’ll see.

I debated sharing this bc I don’t want to come off as negative or hateful at all, but I want to acknowledge my feelings. And maybe some of y’all are feeling the toxicity of the internet and now y’all know you’re not alone. That it is ok to take a break if y’all want!

Thank y’all for anyone who read this. Real Gs ❤️

[loversarcanas]

Midnight Romeo Ch. 1

Series: The Owl House Pairing: Beta!Luz/Beta!Amity

Luz Noceda finds herself frequenting night clubs to cope with her loneliness. She never expects to find anyone, really, until she’s forced to save a pretty girl from a nasty creep harassing her. Please support the original on Ao3! (trigger warnings for alcohol consumption and minor sexual harassment)

12:35am. The flashing lights and blaring dubstep over massive stereo systems was enough to overwhelm anyone, especially Luz Noceda. She wasn’t really even sure why she kept coming here. For drinks? People-watching? Moping, hoping for a stranger to reach out a hand to her and make a connection? Probably all of the above. Yet, despite how agonizingly crowded the place was and how much it reeked of Mary Jane and sweat, she sat alone at the bar, sipping on her second glass of whiskey and watching wasted hornballs grind on each other.     Luz was a pretty lonely person. She didn’t really have friends to spend time with, her mom worked hectic nights at the hospital to the point where they barely saw each other, and she had nothing but shitty breakups with shitty partners who left her feeling more and more closed up. Nobody could envy her right now. Any last shreds of hope that some gorgeous, charming person would approach her and suavely sweep her off her feet, were stomped on by her own cynicism. After all, who would want her ? Slumped over the bar in an unwashed army jacket, uncombed hair and beanie, probably reeking of booze. Hah, yeah. A real catch, huh.     Her self-deprecating thoughts were interrupted, however, when a shorter, punky looking girl ran up to her and wrapped arms around her. “Oh my god, hiii! I haven’t seen you in so long , babe!” came a peppy, raspy voice from the girl. Luz froze, completely shocked and incredibly confused at just what was happening right now. As well as a little bit flustered, because this girl was very pretty. Before she had a chance to speak, however, the mysterious girl whispered in her ear “ Just go with it, creepy guy behind me ”. Ah.     Luz’s demeanor changed in a heartbeat, cracking a smile and hugging the girl back. “Hey! What are you doing here? It’s been ages!” Pulling away from the hug, she looked passed the girl’s green-dyed hair to see a seething man walking directly towards them. “Hey Amity, who’s this girl? Some friend of yours?” He asked through a fake, gritted smile. Oh, Luz could feel the rotten vibes emanating from him. “Yeah, the name’s Luz. Amity here is one of my friends from college. May I ask who you are?”

The strange man crossed his arms, a smug grin crossing his face. “Yeah, I’m her man of the night. And we’ll be going now, actually.” Venom dripped from each of his words as he tried to grab at Amity’s wrist. The shorter girl struggled and mumbled “Let go” as she tried to pull away, and a new flame entered Luz’s gaze. She stood up and towered half a head over the man, staring at him with an intense anger, reaching into her jacket pocket for her switchblade.     “I don’t think she wants to go with you. Now let her go, or I’ll slice that hand clean off your wrist.” Luz scowled, flipping the blade open. The man visibly flinched, but stood his ground for a few moments more before finally letting go. “Whatever, fucking cunt. She’s an ugly bitch anyway.” He mumbled as he walked back into the crowd. Luz closed her switchblade and looked back down at the green haired girl, who was now rubbing the spot where her wrist had been so roughly grabbed.     Amity looked up at the taller girl in appreciation. “Thanks, uh.. You said your name was Luz? Thank you. I swear to god, men don’t know how to take fucking ‘no’ for an answer.” Luz sighed, and patted her shoulder. “Yeah, guys can be real creeps sometimes, especially at places like this. I’m just glad he didn’t do worse to you. Are you okay?” Amity grumbled, and hopped up on a bar chair next to the taller girl. “Well, not really. My friends bailed on me and I’ve been trying to ward off these dipshit guys all night. I don’t see how anyone enjoys these places.”     Luz stifled a chuckle. “Yeah, I hear ya. But if you hate it so much, why are you here?” Amity let out a heavy sigh. “I came because my friends asked me to. This isn’t usually my deal, but they were insistent. Then they had the gall to fucking leave me here alone. Assholes.” She mumbled, laying her head on the counter. “They don’t really sound like friends if they’re just gonna leave you here.” Luz offered. Amity noticeably shrank when she said that. “Yeah, well, they’re kinda my only option as far as friends go… And they were my ride here too, hah .” She laughed bitterly.     The two of them were silent for a few moments, only being enveloped in the sound of the music over loudspeakers. At one point, the bartender asked if Amity wanted a drink. She lifted her head and ordered a long island iced tea, much to Luz’s surprise. When asked if she wanted a refill on her whiskey, Luz declined, and turned back to Amity. “So, you don’t have a ride home then?” Amity shook her head. “It’s probably fine. I’ll just grab an Uber, or beg one of my siblings to pick me up, haha.” Her laugh was tired, and her eyes looked tired as well.

  While Amity silently drank, Luz watched her - taking in her appearance. Her eyes were sharp and golden, with thick, black, winged eyeliner and smokey eyeshadow. Her nose was long and pierced through the septum. Her lips were thin, covered in black lipstick and adorned with black metal snake bites. Her hair was messy, tousled and long, reaching halfway down her back. Her ears were covered in black piercings, and she wore a fitted band tee and a pink plaid miniskirt. Truly, this girl was stunning. Luz couldn’t help but wonder if this was the princess charming she had so long been wishing for-     ‘Ugh, don’t be stupid’ She thought to herself, and quickly stamped out the idea. Her main concern should be how to get this girl home, anyways. Her friends left her, she’s apparently been dealing with sexual harassment all night, and she’s probably going to be wasted on long island teas before she leaves. “So… Are you gonna text your sibs for a ride?” Amity finished the remains of her glass before slamming it back down on the table. “Yeah I guess I should, probably. They’ll probably make fun of me for getting so wasted, but it’s fine, whatever.” She took out her phone and started quickly typing a message with her thumbs, before setting it down on the bar. She called the bartender back over to order another tea, then slumped back on the counter. “Uh, you sure another one is a good idea chica ? Especially after the night you’ve had?”     The green-haired girl rolled her head to look at Luz, with a dead stare. “While I appreciate your concern, I kinda don’t care right now.” Her phone buzzed and she picked it up to look at the new text, before slapping it back down with a loud groan. “UGH, of COURSE they’re too busy to pick me up. Fuckin great.” Luz bit her lip, wondering what the next step should be. I mean, she barely met this girl, But after the night she’d had, she didn’t want to risk this Amity girl having another run off with a creepy guy. And she knew from experience that Ubers and Lyfts weren’t always the safest to ride in as a drunk girl.     “Hey… Uh, do you need me to give you a ride home then? I really don’t mind.” She waited in silence for a moment, while Amity turned to look at her. “I’m fine, I’ll be fine. Just need to order an Uber, it’s fine..” She trailed off, pulling up the app on her phone. “Listen, I really don’t mind driving you. I’ve had some… not so fun experiences riding drunk in an Uber. They don’t do background checks on those guys, and especially since you’ve been through so much from creeps tonight...” Luz trailed off. Amity let out a huge sigh. “...Okay, fine. But you better not try anything weird either. I can and will fuck you up, or break your car window open.” Luz internally breathed a sigh of relief. She definitely understood not trusting a stranger to drive her home, but she didn’t want this girl to go through worse than she had already experienced tonight.

  -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------     1:21am. They walked out of the bar, Luz had mostly sobered up, and supported the shorter girl so she didn’t stumble or trip on the way to her car. Luz’s car wasn’t anything special - it was an old 2002 Honda Accord, silver and a little beat up, but she was sure to keep it clean and in functioning shape. She opened the passenger door for amity with a polite gesture, and made sure she was all the way in before shutting the door and returning to the driver’s side.

  “Wow, your car is old.” Amity said bluntly. Luz laughed. “Yeah? Your point? I still keep her running like a dream. Why? Are you not used to old bangups?” Amity crossed her arms, embarrassed. “Well, my parents are all about having the newest thing. They all got brand new shit at home, fancy imported cars and that shit. They got me a brand new Maserati for my birthday this year. So yeah, I’m not used to ‘old bangups’ I guess.” She looked out the window while Luz started up the engine, and popped in a CD. The music started playing on low, Amity tuning in to the song that was playing.

‘You’re the beach on Christmas Eve,’

      ‘Wrong place, good time, consistently’

          ‘I feel like a walking love song’

      ‘When you do me like that, can you tell my brain turns off’ It seemed to fit the atmosphere pretty well, actually. Luz rolled down the window and let her arm hang out, bringing a much-needed cool breeze into the car. Amity could feel herself nodding off, despite trying to fight it. ‘This girl, Luz… can I really trust her? I mean, she seems really cool, and it’s nice of her to drive me home, but… ‘ Amity’s thoughts ran slowly through her head. She raised her head to look over at the girl in the driver’s seat. She really did have a cool aura about her. The army jacket and baggy cargo pants, while normally not Amity’s style, seemed to fit the girl. Her messy hair, red beanie, adorned with a pin Amity couldn’t see in the dark. She noticed Luz was singing along to the song under her breath. It was kind of cute, actually.     ‘From 7-11s to California Heavens’

      ‘I try to hide with my words, but you just find me clever’

            ‘I found a million places, you’d be worth the chases’

        ‘To go-oh-oh’

  Finally, they pull into a long driveway, protected by overbearing steel gates. Luz stopped the car, and looked up at the massive home behind them. “You live here , Amity? Damn, are you just rich as shit or something?” Amity sighed, clicked off her seatbelt and opened the door. “My family is rich as shit, yes. I try not to think about it.” Luz unblocked her seatbelt and rose to get out of the car, making sure Amity could get in alright. “Oh, wait! Here, hang on a second.” She said, running back to her car to grab something.

  Amity stood before the gates for only a few seconds, before Luz came back with a scrap of paper. “Listen, not that you’ll need it, but…” She looked embarrassed, rubbing the nape of her neck anxiously. “If your friends ever bail on you again or you need to get rid of any more creeps, here’s my number.” Luz handed the scrap to Amity, before shoving both hands in her jacket pockets. Amity looked down at the paper, then back up to Luz, with a smile. “Heh, thanks Luz… Maybe I’ll take you up on that. Amity brushed a piece of hair behind her ear, and turned toward the gates to her house. “Oh, and… Thank you for all your help tonight. Usually people aren’t so kind.” Those words were her last before opening the gates and walking inside.

Luz slumped back into her car, waiting until the girl was fully inside her house before buckling up and starting up the engine. ‘Well, that’s certainly not how I thought my night would go.’ She felt a buzz in her pocket, and pulled out her phone to find a new message from an unknown number. xxx-xxx-xxxx: Hey, this is Amity. Thanks again for tonight.     Luz smiled, and quickly registered the girl in her contacts. As she backed out of the manor driveway, she felt a lightness in her chest that she hadn’t felt in a long time. Maybe going out to clubs wasn't all that bad.

[redxblueihateloveyou]

I love your amv videos! Where do you get your ideas, and how do you know which clibs or songs to use? Also if your looking for a song to use in your next amv, you should use this song: kiss the boy by keiynan lonsdale

thank you so much <3 I don't even know... I think most of the times it's either I watch something new, I like some ship and want to vid them and think "oh I know the perfect song for them" or I sometimes listen to some song and it suddenly reminds me of one of my ships haha

as for the scenes, I just like when they fit the words of the song, so I mostly roll from there, sometimes I have some plot in my mind, then I go for a story instead, but still see that the overall song message fits the theme. when it comes to manips, I just notice when I rewatch sometimes stuff like "oh, if you combine this with that, it has a potential to become a brand new thing" lmao

like I've wanted to use the Yakusoku scene of Rin smiling at himself about loving Haru for a while now, so I was like "hmmmm...", then it just hangs in the back of my mind until my brain gives birth on its own one day xD

I'll listen to the song, thank u:) but honestly I don't have any problems with finding any, bc I have a list of like 47 (i think?) upcoming vids on my phone planned for real xD I'm just slow

[violetwolfraven]

Elmer headcanons?

Ok!

He’s canonly the youngest of 9 so like. Damn. I only have one sibling and I can’t imagine how much that would suck.

I imagine him having 4 brothers and 4 sisters so El was the tie breaker.

After him his parents go yeah we’re done.

As far as I know Elmer’s siblings don’t have canon names so it goes like this (in 1885) Elmer (0), Hope (1), Adam (3), Jarek (5), Ada (7), Hubert (8), Karina (9) Filip (10), and Irena (13).

Anyway Hope is only a year older so Elmer isn’t even of the baby of the family by that much.

So by the time he’s like 6 he doesn’t get much attention anymore. Everyone’s more interested in his oldest few siblings getting their first jobs and Irena and Filip getting their first partners.

When he was really young, Elmer always tried to play with Adam and Jarek, but they already had each other as playmates, so they excluded him a lot.

And of course Hope finds it annoying when he sticks to her (like glue haha) so she lashes out.

Hubert, Karina, Filip, and Irena are so much older that they just don’t have anything in common or any time for him.

So Elmer gets used to fading into the background because Ada is the only one who ever pays attention to him and even then she’s enough older that they can’t have much in common.

In modern AU he meets the others in about 6th grade.

In canon era he meets them when he’s 9 (3 years younger than Jack) after Irena gets married and the family needs to send another kid to work to make up for losing her factory income.

Either way Elmer is kinda just... baffled by all this attention and affection he’s getting suddenly.

Like his friends roughhouse and joke around and sometimes jokes are at his expense but it’s never in a meanspirited way.

They listen when he talks and actively choose to be around him and in general just notice he’s there and he’s... never had that before.

Elmer is super touch-starved and once his friends figure that out they’re all eager to give him all the hugs he wants.

In both eras, it’s Jack who first notices that he has dyslexia and assures him that he’s not stupid, it’s just that reading is harder for him than most people.

In modern era since there’s a word for it there he gets tested and diagnosed and all that but in canon era for the most part Jack or Race just read the headlines out loud every morning to help.

In canon era Jack, Race, Buttons, and later Davey are the only ones who know.

Speaking of Buttons...

In canon era, he shows up when he and Elmer are 10.

They hit it off immediately because they have something in common the other kids don’t; they both still have families and multiple siblings.

The two of them start staying at the Lodging House most nights to escape the craziness of their families at age 12.

Elmer is a little clumsy, so Buttons often ends up patching up torn clothes.

And sometimes more than clothes which is totally not because Elmer keeps standing up for those no one else will stand up for.

In all seriousness Elmer is 500% ready to throw hands for literally any random stranger who needs his help, and also horses, cats, dogs, and one time a cow.

Buttons is pretty sure he’s got a death wish because he’s had to figure out real fast how to patch up wounds from broken bottles, wooden boards, and crowbars, among other things.

He angrily lectures Elmer to be more careful more than once and basically cue Elmer all like hot damn.

Something about Buttons’s fierce brand of kindness... he gets stuck on that. He needs to be near him.

He doesn’t realize he’s falling is love until during the strike—when they’re 14–and they don’t get together until they’re 18 and they’re leaving for better jobs and Elmer asks Buttons to stay.

Not in the Manhattan Lodging House, but with him.

Anyway in modern era, Elmer is just as eager to throw down in defense of others but gets a lot less opportunities.

He and Buttons take longer to get close.

They kinda know each other cause they’re friends with the same people but then one day some bullies decide to pick on Buttons and Elmer is naturally all just oh okay time to throw down now.

Cue Buttons all like hot damn but definitely too shy to do anything about it.

They don’t talk much for a couple months after that despite how Elmer does think Buttons is cute too.

Anyway Elmer spends a lot of time at other people’s houses in this era (mostly the Larkin and Dasilva houses) just to get away from the crazy crowdedness of his own family.

Then one day Jarek forgets to pick him up from mathletes (because you can pry modern!Elmer being Cady Heron’s national-level math nemesis out of my cold dead hands) and it’s pouring down rain outside.

Still, instead of calling someone to come get him Elmer naturally thinks I can totally walk 2 miles to get home through that and puts his hoodie hood up and gets moving.

Not even half a mile later he’s freezing, soaking wet, and starving cause he hasn’t eaten since lunch.

He’s pretty sure he’s about to pass out, and he really doesn’t want to do that on the sidewalk so he starts thinking about friends who live closer to the school than he does.

The nearest house happens to be the Davenports’.

Needless to say Buttons is pretty shocked when his crush shows up on his doorstep soaking wet but still with a big smile, all just hi Buttons can I crash here for a bit?

Unfortunately Elmer meant crash quite literally, as he straight up faints right then and there and Buttons has to drag him inside.

It’s probably a good thing Buttons is home alone at the time.

When Elmer wakes up he’s pretty disoriented but warm and (relatively) dry under a blanket on Buttons’s couch.

He looks over to realize that Buttons is sitting in a chair nearby just watching the movie he put on quietly in the background and just. Oh shit I just passed out in front of a cute boy.

He kinda panics like I should go sorry for barging in but Buttons is like wtf no you literally passed out you’re either calling someone to come get you or staying the night. Now drink some fucking hot chocolate and get some self-preservation instincts you idiot.

And Elmer feels like he should call someone to come get him but he also doesn’t really want to cause hot damn.

In the end he does call Jack to pick him up and Jack chews him out for trying to walk home in a storm but he also notices the look he and Buttons share at the door.

Elmer ends up texting Buttons and asking if he wants to meet up for coffee as a thank you for not letting me freeze to death in the rain.

They end up spending a lot of time together and eventually get set up by Jack by their friends who are all tired of their shit like good god guys we all know you’re in love just kiss already.

If Elmer was confused by all the affection he was getting from having a good platonic friend group, he’s very confused by the affection he gets being in a romantic relationship.

Buttons kinda wants to throw hands with his boyfriend’s big siblings for that but that’s besides the point.

Anyway it takes him a while to get used to even just small gestures like holding hands but once he gets used to it Elmer is 100% the cuddliest boyfriend ever.

He’s still super touch-starved so he’s lucky he’s got a bf who also loves physical contact.

He’s so in love with that boy and he’s happy and seen and finally has a family that appreciates him.

^both eras.

[purplesurveys]

1236

survey by lasertine

10 How's

How did you get one of your scars? I keep recounting the story of my eyebrow scar, so I’ll share something else...I have several scars on both my knees since I was the neighborhood’s clumsiest kid and ALWAYS tripped/stumbled when I played outside. I used to be extremely insecure of my legs, but started to stop caring as I gradually noticed that no one really gives a shit about scars from childhood accidents.

How did you celebrate your last birthday? I went to work, being the workaholic I am. I only celebrated in the evening, when I bought a week’s worth of food for my family and I to feast on. I was honestly fine with it; it was exactly how I wanted my birthday to go as I’ve stopped wanting to make a big deal out of it haha.

How are you feeling at this moment? Weirdly relaxed for a Sunday. The gloomy and cozy weather is probably helping with that.

How did your night go last night? As a fangirl, good! Got lots of new content which is always fun. As a person (lol), it was just fine. I like being able to recharge on weekends and I can never really complain even if I don’t end up doing anything productive.

How did you do in high school? I was a bit all over the place. I exerted some level of effort in my favorite classes but didn’t really do the same for subjects I didn’t care for as much, like home ec, chemistry, math, etc; but on average I managed to get good grades all throughout. Overall, I kinda acknowledged very early on that high school grades weren’t going to matter in the real world so I didn’t make it a point to overexert myself and just focused on having fun and making fond memories in those teen years.

How did you get the shirt you're wearing? I got it from Artwork, a local brand that sells various apparel sporting designs produced by local artists. The branch I got it from has since shut down but I believe the brand is still alive and well.

How often do you see your best friend? I used to see Angela once in a blue moon mainly because our schedules always clashed back when we were still students, but ever since forming our little Army friend group with Reena I’ve been seeing her nearly every week.

How much money did you spend last month? LOL June was actually my worst and most shameful performance when it came to spending...let’s move on...

How old do you want to be when you get married? Kinda happen it would happen by the time I’m in between the ages of 28 and 30, kind of losing hope on it.

How old will you be at your next birthday? 24.

NINE What’s

What is the most important part of your life? I’ve said this several times but it’s really work. I’m aware of my weaknesses at my job and I want nothing more than to improve on those just because my perfectionist ass can’t bear being bad at something I’m supposed to be contributing to lol.

What did you do last weekend? Last Saturday I  watched BTS’ concert in Sao Paulo and had my first session at my Korean class. Last Sunday I mostly chilled at home but I also went to Starbucks to work for a bit but to also just relax before the week started.

What did you last cry over? Watching Angela and Reena’s graduation ceremony this afternoon. It’s hilarious because I didn’t even cry during and was mostly indifferent towards my own grad, but I surprised myself by breaking into tears while watching theirs. I’m guessing the emotions simply welled up from me being very grateful for our friendship, which formed when I needed it the most.

What are you worried about? I always get Monday anxiety on Sundays, so let’s go with that.

What is your mother’s name? Abby.

What always makes you feel better when you’re upset? BTS, for one.

What would you rather be doing? It’s not a matter of what I would rather be doing, but where I would rather be. And right now, I wish I was back on a Friday evening with the weekend just about to start.

What’s the most important thing you look for in a significant other? Patience.

What did you have for breakfast? My mom cooked up a feast for today’s breakfast for no reason - we had fried rice, tocino, I think bangus(?) and if not bangus then it was some other kind of fish, corned beef, cheese omelette, glazed ham, bacon strips, and the leftover chicken wings from last night’s dinner.

EIGHT Have You’s

Have you ever done something outrageously dumb? I probably do something of the sort at least once a day.

Have you ever had sex on the beach? No. I think I might feel uncomfortable doing so, even if you told me it would be a private beach lol. 

Have you ever been backstabbed by a friend? Yes.

Have you ever been out of the country? Yup, but it’s been a while. :( I haven’t traveled abroad since 2016.

Have you ever dated someone younger than you? It barely counts; she was only like a month and half younger.

Have you ever liked someone who already had somebody? That hasn’t happened.

Have you ever been brokenhearted? Of course.

Have you ever read an entire book in one day? Many times.

SEVEN Who’s:

Who is the last person you saw? My dad. He was watching the evening news in his room when I heard the report playing Permission to Dance so I rushed in there to see what the news was going to be about, hahahaha.

Who is the last person that you texted? ...also my dad. I was just asking him where he was since I had been craving chapaguri the other day and was gonna request if he can quickly pass by the Korean mart near our village. He never replied so I just cooked the instant noodles that we have at home, which in hindsight was I guess for the better because at least I got to save the money I would’ve paid him with.

Who called you last? The Lalamove driver I mentioned on the previous survey.

Who is the last person you hung out with? Angela, Reena, and Hans.

Who did you hug last? Angela, right before I left from her place last Tuesday.

Who is the last person that texted you? Not sure.

Who was the las person you said "I love you" to? Yumi, when I congratulated her on her graduation post.

SIX Where’s:

Where does your best friend live? The city next to mine.

Where is your favorite place to be? Either a coffee shop or our rooftop.

Where did you sleep last night? My bed.

Where did you last hang out? Mega with the three aforementioned friends.

Where do/did you go to school? UP.

Where did you last adventure to? ...Mega. So repetitive hahaha but I don’t really go out much these days for obvious reasons.

FIVE Do’s/Does:

Do you ever wish you were someone else? Not someone else in particular but I will sometimes daydream about having a different reality/situation, like being able to play an instrument or being more capable of affording more things.

Do you think anyone despises you? Possibly.

Do you like someone right now? Nopes.

Does the future scare you? It doesn’t scare me so much as it’s increasingly starting to make me feel lonelier whenever I start thinking about it.

Do you have any secret powers? Erm, no.

FOUR Why’s:

Why are you best friends with your best friend(s)? They’ve both been there through the thick and the thin and the ugly with me and have never once left my side.

Why did your parents give you the name you have? As for both my names, they just liked the sound of them.

Why did you get a myspace? Because I noticed it was popular and I wanted to see what the fuss was about.

Why are you doing this survey? Countdown surveys are always a fun format.

THREE If’s:

If you could have one super power what would it be? Time travel.

If you could go back in time and change one thing, would you? If it comes down to it, as irresistible as it seems, probably not.

If you could live anywhere, where would it be? Somewhere with winter/snow.

Two Would-you-ever’s:

Would you ever shave your head to save someone you love? I’m struggling to think how that can action save someone, but I guess if it ever does boil down to it then yeah, in a heartbeat. It grows back and if the situation was that drastic, hair would be the least of my concerns.

Would you ever get back together with any of your exes if they asked you? Depends.

Last one:

Are you happy with how your life has turned out? Very.

[imbellarosa]

For me, Lou's lyrics are pretty easy to interpet & I usually can get the message he is attempting to convey. Because he writes so candidly, you know? He really opens up and is so raw & real. That's not to say Haz isn't, I just feel like even in his songwriting, he hides his true sentiments behind embellished, overly elaborate, obscure metaphors. I feel most musicians use that space to finally let go & feel liberated to really right straight from the soul, y'know? Like Lou, he would never say the

+ things he does in songs out loud but he just lets himself go completely and it's beautiful. I think Haz is a phenomenal lyricist & I adore him to bits but I feel sad he is still so unwilling to be truly vulnerable & open with us y'know? I want to know Harry, I'm sick of Harry Styles™ the brand, the facade. The only song of Lou's that still stumps me is Miss You. I don't think you can just conclude anything based on one song but looking at HS1 too, sure it could be just fighting and drifting

+ apart and miscommunication (or lack thereof) & I feel like I was almost brainwashing into believing what people said over what my own intuition told me, everyone just drilling in: THEY NEVER BROKE UP, I felt like I was less of a supporter to think that, I felt guilty, like I let hl down almost. But as a cynic & a rationalist, it always niggled at me. I believe in the inevitable failure of 97% of relationships at that age. They just don't last. And I'm sure there's someone reading this who's

+ like, well fyi my parents were lab partners in high school and are still together with a bunch of kids. And that's great. Ah a walking paradox, being a romantic & a cynic. Anyway, the thing is, maybe they did, maybe not. Certainly, I lean towards it being very likely they did. Hardly any het 'relationships' at that age last. Now bring in two boys who are closeted and in love and in THE boyband of the era and undergone a series of absurd narratives and can't sit next to each other but are told

+ to make out with girls on NYE and hold their hands and strut about to a crowd of adoring fans as the actual person they're with is joyously playing football one minute and on the verge of breaking down the next because what if the fans like this fake relationship more, what if they like -her- more? I could go on & on, but you get the point. Thing is, maybe they did, maybe not. Does it really matter, in the bigger picture? They're together now and for once, I do have faith it'll last this time.

Also sidenote, I hope it's cool to come to your inbox and just go off tangents & rant & ramble. I mean it's kinda too late now lol 😂 but idk I swear I never intend ongoing off multiple tangents but it just inevitably happens?? Hope you can make some sense of my incoherent, mindless bs and at least find it somewhat entertaining. I like talking to you as well. You are the first person who is so open-minded & accepting of diff opinions & genuinely seems to want to hear what's on my mind.

okay well FIRST OF ALL, you are ALWAYS welcome to come rant to me goodness knows I would LOVE to hear from someone else who adores lyric analysis as much as I do! If you’re looking for anyone else to chat with, @louciernagas has some amazing analysis of her own and also adores song lyrics and might have a different take than mine! But here’s my take:

I think Harry processes stories differently than Louis, and I think it really really shows in their songwriting. For example, Harry had “raconteur” as his Twitter bio for a while, I’ve heard. ‘Raconteur’ is ‘storyteller’ in French, and my conclusion from that is that he likes to see himself as a storyteller. So he mostly writes abstract notions and large pictures and feelings and ideas that he’s felt over the years, and when he fills it in, he’s telling a story. It’s easier for him, I think, to process things if he can remove himself from it. If you look at the first draft lyrics for Lights Up that Tyler Johnson spilled the other month, they read, “lights can’t know their way out the dark running through your heart. Lights can’t help you know who you are. Do you know who you are?”. The final draft of this line reads “All the lights couldn’t put out the dark running through my heart. Lights up and they know who you are. Do you know who you are?”. I think it’s worth mentioning that the primary difference between the first version of this song and this one is the addition of a first-person pronoun in the final draft. 

Either way, this song would have been about him, and HIS self-discovery and HIS liberation, right? But the way that he chose to write it at first was without placing himself into the story. And like...I think he does that a lot. And then, of course, he does the reverse, too. He says “I” did this or “I” did that and it may not be him at all. I’ll tell you a funny trend I’ve noticed is that the songs that seem most personal to him are about someone else in broad strokes, or about himself in broad strokes. But I think it’s because it’s easier for him to tell true stories if he doesn’t have to say that they’re about him. 

For Louis, I would say it’s the reverse: he HAS to make his stories about himself because it’s the only way he CAN tell his stories. He’s learned to use his words as a weapon against everyone who thought he was too young, not good enough, not kind enough, too stupid, that he didn’t have enough star power, etc. He’s ALWAYS had to prove them wrong, and the only way he had was his music. So he SAID that they would go out and drink cheap wine until sunrise and that they lived in this *specific* apartment complex and that he would tell the truth if his partner wanted him too. He SAID that he’d like to go to the pub every sunday, if he could (and I think the music video for JLY even names the pub haha), that the reason he has done every single thing he has is for the other person. He HAD to say it, not for us, but for himself. HE had to tell the stories he needed to, and he did. And THAT is what makes his album - and all of his songs - so so special to me. They have that element of “fighting back” as well as of telling stories. 

I, personally, tell stories like Harry does. I like to talk about things I know or have experienced as if I’m coming at them from a different angle, because it’s easier on my heart that way, sometimes. Sometimes, the only way I have to say the truest things I know are to make someone else say them or to talk about them as if it were about another person. That’s kind of what fantasy is, in a way. It’s what storytelling is. But I *so* admire the autobiographical quality that Walls has to it, because I would be terrified. 

And as for ‘do I think they broke up?’ I’m very very much in the “who cares” camp - just like you! Maybe? Maybe they did in 2016 at some point. But like...as evidenced by the entire quarantine (and the last like..year and a half), they aren’t broken up NOW, and that’s what I’m gonna go on. And everything else doesn’t really matter, you know? The rest is confetti. 

[originofjaehyun]

Interlude: No More Drama & Prelude: After Story – Omake

Omake’s primary meaning is general and widespread. It is used as an anime and manga fandom term to mean extra or bonus.

Hi!

Because I wasn’t able to update the next chapter this week (stares directly at my other deadlines) – so I thought of updating you guys with something that is rather different instead! :D

Whenever I write, sometimes I would reach roadblocks, and ideas just wouldn’t come out. Usually by then, I would start to imagine things that most of the time are totally unrelated to the main story (haha).

Anyway! Long story short, these are the character profiles that I imagined when I designed them on my head (lol?)

Friendly reminder that this is a complete fiction!

P.S.: I imagined them during their Neo Zone era, so I wouldn’t talk that much about them physically? Also, you can search on Twitter on their actual perfumes, but I think these brands would suit them very well too (there are some that I took from that reference as well lol).

Read Interlude & Prelude

Jaehyun

Scent: Maison Margiela – Jazz Club, Jo Malone – Myrrh and Tonka

Cigarette brand: Marlboro Red

Carpool karaoke pick: (At first) Lauv – I Like Me Better, Cigarette After Sex, and such, but later he would play Spotify’s This Is Adele playlist

Cocktail pick: Ballatine’s Scotch Whiskey

Food delivery choices: Anything within reach (does not have any preference)

Kinks: This tickles him by a lot, but he likes it when you teased him by playing with his happy trail

Yuta

Scent: Diptyque – Tam Dao, Armani – Code Colonia

Cigarette brand: He used to smoke Camel, but changed to IQOS

Carpool karaoke pick: Depeche Mode, Post Malone, RADWIMPS, sometimes Arashi

Cocktail pick: Cassis Orange, beer

Food delivery choices: Fried chicken (let’s not make him obviously Japanese by making him ordering Ramen every time lol)

Kinks: He loves the sound of skin slapping each other, so expect a lot of spanking

Johnny

Scent: BYREDO – Mojave Ghost (for daily), LE LABO – Santal 33 (for the evening), Tom Ford – Fucking Fabulous (for the special occasions)

Cigarette brand: Dunhill Blonde Blend

Carpool karaoke pick: Daft Punk (for sure), Disclosure, and such

Cocktail pick: Negroni

Food delivery choices: Fast food, preferably burgers

Kinks: He’s sensitive behind his ears, and would go wild whenever you whisper directly to his ears

Doyoung

Scent: Le Labo – Another 13, Chanel – Bleu De Chanel

Cigarette brand: None

Carpool karaoke pick: Park Hyo Shin, Daniel Caesar, Celine Dion

Cocktail pick: Gin & Tonic

Food delivery choices: Jajjangmyeon

Kinks: He likes it when you explore his neck, and whenever you kiss his adam’s apple

Mark

Scent: Dior – Eau Savage

Cigarette brand: None

Carpool karaoke pick: 2Pac, Kendrick Lamar

Cocktail pick: He prefers dark beer, but would take soju anytime with his hyungs

Food delivery choices: Anything carbs

Kinks: He bites a lot

Taeyong

Scent: Penhaligon – Endymion

Cigarette brand: Raison

Carpool karaoke pick: Jhené Aiko, Kehlani, Justin Bieber

Cocktail pick: Jagerbomb, but he would be the one who suggested Tequila shots

Food delivery choices: Bubble tea

Kinks: He likes the feeling of your nail piercing onto his skin (lol did I just make him slightly masochist)

Haechan

Scent: Jean Paul Gaultier – Le Male

Cigarette brand: Lucky Strike Menthol

Carpool karaoke pick: Michael Jackson, Queen, Jason Mraz

Cocktail pick: Soju

Food delivery choices: Fast food, but he would join anyone who’s ordering any food

Kinks: He prefers the room to be bright so he can see you

Jungwoo

Scent: Roses – Chloe

Cigarette brand: None

Carpool karaoke pick: Frank Ocean, Dean, NCT (a-ha)

Cocktail pick: He would take a sip of anything tbh

Food delivery choices: Anything but he would often craves for kimbab

Kinks: Jungwoo you’re not allowed to have a kink

Taeil

Scent: Tom Ford – Noir Extreme

Cigarette brand: Camel Filter

Carpool karaoke pick: He owns a playlist called; “Wedding Day Songs”

Cocktail pick: Old Fashioned

Food delivery choices: Ramen (the legit ramen and not the instant ones)

Kinks: He breathes you in, a lot

Winwin

Scent: Aqcua Di Parma – Blu Mediterraneo Mandorlo Di Sicilia

Cigarette brand: Mevius One

Carpool karaoke pick: The 1975, Vampire Weekend

Cocktail pick: Ume Highball

Food delivery choices: Jokbal

Kinks: Surprisingly he’s into role play (he loves it when you call him by his code name)

Random Trivia

All Interlude chapters’ quotes are from Jaehyun’s parts on Neo Zone album

Same goes for Prelude, except for Make Your Day (since Yuta wasn’t a part of that song, I replaced it with Jaehyun’s)

You might or might not notice, but I also put Jaehyun’s part(s) on the actual chapter (either on the conversations or the narrations)

Yuta’s yakuza friend, Taka (mentioned briefly), is taken from MIYAVI’s real name (Takamasa Ishihara) – I borrowed his name because Yuta listened to MIYAVI alot (he also followed him on Instagram!)

The music that they listen to on the car ride during Pandora’s Box was Cigarette After Sex’s Apocalypse (because Jaehyun listens to Cigarettes After Sex before going to bed)

The music during the first car ride with Yuta was No Replacing You by Pink Sweat$ (it’s a part of Jaehyun’s playlist – which he revealed on one of his vlive)

The movie that Jaehyun and [Y/N] watched during the rainy day on White Night, The Notebook, is based on Jaehyun’s recommendation on NCT Night Night

I also mentioned this on Pandora’s Box, but the repeated quote between [Y/N] and Jaehyun, “What is the first twenty-four hours if we’re looking back at the past seventy years?” is highly inspired from Ed Sheeran’s Thinking Out Loud (And darling I will be loving you 'til we're 70) –because Jaehyun is a fan of Ed.

Also, [Y/N] and Jaehyun met when they’re on their mid 20s. The average human lifespan is 79 years —hopefully our [Y/N] and Jaehyun would have a wonderful long life together. That phrase itself means that both of them are willing to spend the rest of their lives together. Though, I don’t know how that becomes their own love language, it just happened as I write the story haha

[Y/N]’s body gel inspiration is actually a body cleanser by Aesop, A Rose By Any Other Name

Jaehyun’s engagement ring pick was Étincelle de Cartier Ring by Cartier

Jaehyun and [Y/N]’s favorite Ghibli movie pick is Howl’s Moving Castle – Jaehyun mentioned on NCT Night Night that he watched Howl’s Moving Castle a lot when he was at school

After the wedding, dark crimson rose was spotted on Nakamoto’s residence. This symbolizes grief and sadness.

On Make Your Day, the flower language meaning for Buttercup is “Your charm dazzles me”. This is why Yuta knows ___ is attracted to her. If you didn’t notice, Yuta already know that she’s the florist during their first encounter at Nonstop. That is because Yuta remembers their first encounter, too

The tune that ___ listen to at the end of Make Your Day is Always With Me (Spirited Away theme song). I personally feel the scene (on my head) fits the song perfectly! If you want to give it a listen, I recommend the piano version

At the end, ___ gave Yuta anthurium, which means hospitality and happiness. Note how I never really specify their relationship status, since I want the readers to have their own interpretation on the continuation of their relationship

Yuta’s haircut was actually not planned, but it fits the transition since he did cut his hair haha

The hardest chapters to write was Pandora’s Box and Not Alone – purely because they’re mostly transition chapters

Out of all chapters, my personal favorite from Interlude would be White Night and Nonstop for Prelude.

In fact, Nonstop would be my favorite chapter. I think I was so immersed with Jaehyun and [Y/N]’s wedding so I kept including TONS of details hahaha (I hope you don’t mind lol)

[lovemesomesurveys]

survey by tater-tots

What is a fruit that you might eat in the morning? I, personally, haven’t had any fruit in quite awhile. :X I used to have a banana sometimes in the morning, though. Cutting it up and putting it on bread with peanut butter was also good, as well as in oatmeal.

Do you enjoy any food combinations that others might consider to be weird? I’m sure. Scrambled eggs with ranch is probably weird to some. I also recently discovered sourdough bread and Lay’s ranch dip go quite well together. 

What is a green vegetable that you enjoy eating? Spinach.

Name something you might find in a salad. Hard boiled eggs. What is your favorite type of sandwich? Turkey and salami with either Monterey Jack, sharp cheddar, or Colby Jack cheese, mayo, and spinach or bologna and either of those cheeses with mayo. A pickle on the side is good as well as some olive oil for dipping. If I get a sandwich from a deli, I like to add a sandwich spread of some kind.

Which condiment do you use the most often? Ranch. Name a chocolate bar that you enjoy eating. White chocolate bars.

What is a meat that you do not eat - ever. Anything other than beef, chicken, turkey, or pork.

Are you lactose intolerant, or have any other sort of food allergies? I am.

What was the last food that you burnt your mouth on? Probably ramen.

Which brand of soup do you eat? Maruchan pork ramen.

What are some flavors of ice cream that your enjoy? Strawberry, mint chocolate chip, ones with peanut butter cups or brownie chunks, and birthday cake.

What is the best type of cookie, in your opinion? My favorites are sugar cookies and shortbread.

Would you rather have popcorn, pretzels, or chips as your salty snack? Popcorn.

Have you thought about going on a diet & actually went through with it? No.

survey by pinkchocolate

When you woke up today, was there anything on your mind? That it was freezing, ha.

Who was the last person you interacted with for the first time? Hm. I don’t recall. I haven’t interacted with anyone new in quite awhile.

What colour was the wrapper of the last snack you ate? Hm.The last thing I ate that had a wrapper was ramen, which had a brown wrapper.

Do you have a favourite mug to drink from? What does it look like? It’s a Peter Pan mug that has Peter and the gang on it flying and is blue on the outside and yellow on the inside.

What was the last thing you used, that came in a spray can? The Christmas-y room spray I got from Bath and Body Works. I loveee it.

What colour is your favourite bra? I prefer just black bras.

Who was the last person you went to for advice about something? My mom.

Have you had a deep conversation with anyone lately? Not really.

What was the last compliment you recall receiving from someone? I don’t recall.

And the last compliment you gave to someone else? My brother on his Thanksgiving cooking. Everything came out really, really good.

What kind of bread did you eat most recently? Sourdough. I’ve always liked it, but prior to Thanksgiving I hadn’t had it in awhile. My brother got a loaf from the store and I ended up eating a ton of it with this olive oil and different seasonings dip I made, but then I discovered it also goes really well with Lay’s ranch dip and ended up eating it with that. Ha, the next day I asked my brother to bring home some sourdough bread from his job (he works at Panera) and I’ve been enjoying that ever since.

What was the last sound you heard, that you found pleasant? I’m currently watching/listening to an ASMR video.

How many books do you think there are in your house? Take a rough guess. Oh, man. Uhhhhh. At least 100. A lot of them being my mom’s.

Of all the books you own, which do you think has the most pages in it? The Bible.

^ And how many pages is that? 1,200.

What was the last film you saw at the cinema? What did you think of it? The Invisible Man back in February. I enjoyed it.

In the last book you read, what was the main character's name? Eva Rae.

What was the last song you heard, that meant something to you? Everlong by Foo Fighters.

How many people do you know whose name begins with Z? Two.

What do you expect to be doing at this time tomorrow? Hopefully sleeping.

survey by luckforlemmy

Did you start listening to more Michael Jackson after his death? I grew up listening to his music, but admittedly I did get into it more after his passing. I was really into his This is It album for awhile, which he worked on just before his death and was done with his concert documentary by the same name.

When was the last time that you played hide and seek? I play with my doggo sometimes.

Who was your first celebrity crush, if you can remember? Aaron Carter.

Do you worry about money? Yes.

Have you ever had to beg for a second chance? No, not begged.

When was the last time that you sent an actual letter through the mail? Many, many, many years ago.

Are you excited to return to school? I’m done with school.

Do you hate Internet abbreviations? No. Omg, but I hate stuff like, “C-U l8er” or something like that. *cringe* That was done more so back in the AOL days, though. Everything was abbreviated back then it seemed.

What was the last insult you gave out? Uhh I don’t go around giving out insults.

What'd you last look up on YouTube? The ASMR video I’m watching.

Are you texting someone really awesome right now? I’m not texting anyone right now.

Do you know when to be serious and when you shouldn't be? Yes.

Do you think that you're funny? I have my moments once in a blue moon and I own the hell out of it when it does happen haha.

Have you ever sent a secret to Post Secret? No.

What movie do you really want to see in theatres right now? There aren’t any showing in theaters in right now or for most of this year. I miss going to the movie theater. 

Have either of your parents shown affection for you today? I haven’t seen either of them, yet. 

What's the last thing that you sang out loud? Christmas songs.

Is there a word that you always misspell? I always say this when a question like this comes up, but “onomatopoeia.” I only ever use that word when asked this, but I have to look up the spelling every time. I don’t know why it won’t stick.

What was the last thing that you bought that someone else benefited from? I ordered my mom a cute Christmas mask.

Has someone ever made you a really great mix CD? Yeah.

Have you ever been on Omegle.com? Yes.

Did you talk to someone cool there? I didn’t talk much, I just went on there to check it out.

What song reminds you of your best friend? There’s a lot of songs that do.

Who was the last person to hit on you? I have no idea, it’s been a long time.

What's on the paper nearest you? There isn’t any paper near me.

Do you have a set of lyrics that you really love? A ton.

Did you get an A in your last English class? Yes.

What did you last use scissors for? I think it was to cut the plastic thingy that holds bottled drinks together.

Did you ever secretly hate a friend of yours that thought you liked them? No.

What do you think of when I say "boat"? Uhhh, a boat? 

Would you ever get a tattoo sleeve? No.

Do you know any really fake people? Yes.

What does the last blanket you used look like? I currently have two throw blankets: a rose gold fuzzy one and a super soft Christmas one.

Do you have appreciation for graffiti? I’ve seen some really cool graffiti artwork.

Why don't you drive? Well, there are extra things that need to be done since I’m a paraplegic and it can be quite expensive. Mostly, though, I’m scared.

Does it annoy you when your printer runs out of ink? It was always super annoying how my printer seemed to know when I was in a hurry or really stressed out cause that’s when it would decide to malfunction or be out of ink.

Have you ever drank anything from a thermos? Yeah.

When was the last time you played in the snow? The last time I was around snow at all was back in 2010.

Do you know any ignorant people? Yes.

What is the coolest name you've ever heard? Hmm.

What did you last argue with someone about? Bleh.

Is there anyone that you dislike for no real reason? No.

Have you had a good day? Not much has happened so far. It’s still early and I’m in bed all snuggled up while doing this and listening to ASMR. 

Are you going to have a good night? We’ll see.

[ziracona]

Do you have any favorite drinks and foods headcanons for ilm?? I feel like Meg would like Shirley templess 👀

Hmmm for sure but there’s so many characters I don’t know how to comprehensively answer this, haha. Meg probably would enjoy that. I think she drinks sometimes for fun or bc it seemed like a good idea at the time, but actually prefers non-alcoholic, because it’s not that great to her, and also because you have to not take your adhd meds if you plan on drinking that day as they interact, and amphetamine > depressant lol. I think she enjoys fruity mixed non-alcoholic stuff a lot. Specially if it got that 👌 zest 👌 to it.

Meg is a huge nerd who likes most of her favorite foods for fan reasons. Her favorite food is chocolate chip cookies with blue chocolate chips because of Percy Jackson. Favorite drink she would probably say is coke, but in reality it’s probably some kind of non-alcoholic cocktail she wouldn’t think to name.

Jake has a proficient pallet from being rich and can actually tell a huge difference in food quality, but hates this and is determined not to be the spoiled rich shithead who only deins to eat from a plate prepared by someone who graduated prestigious culinary school at the top of their class. Has forced himself to acquire a taste for lean meats and nuts. Would request like salted cashews if Meg was getting snacks & she’d throw a fit bc mixed nuts isn’t a treat and he would be offended she was judging his pick. Secretly really appreciates diligently and artfully prepared food. Does not like lamb. He will hunt and there’s not much he feels bad about eating, but he saw a lamb going to get slaughtered as a kid and absolutely will not stomach that as food ever since. Would feel weak & has probably only mentioned it to Dwight, or maybe Claudette, bc she’d never judge or be mean, or maybe Quentin, Kate, or Adam, because Quentin & Kate would agree, and Adam is like, the chillest man ever.

Dwight likes sea salt and vinegar chips, beers, Pepsi, pretzels, steak, and (secretly) those frosted animal crackers. Gets shit constantly for his taste in food and drink. Just wants to be left alone. One time Claudette drank a beer with him to make him feel better bc everyone else was making fun of him for liking beer and she is sweetheart.

Claudette enjoys a dish her mom makes out of fried onions, squash, artichokes, and optionally also mushrooms, probably more than any other food in the world. It is really good. Favorite drink is sparkling grape juice. It makes her feel like she is drinking champagne, but it actually tasted good, and won’t get her drunk or hungover. Also likes tea a lot. Most green and white tea types especially.

Nea likes almost anything with a cronch when you bite into it. Enjoys fish too, and curry the way Min makes it (which is very rushed college student but like, rushed college student with standards). Really likes empanadas after being introduced to them. Also genuinely really loved both Claudette’s amaranth oatmeal and her realm cookies, and since she and Quentin kind of ‘grew up’ inside the realm, it’s also like, surreally and kind of heartbreakingly, a nostalgic and comforting childhood memory to her. They remind her of times she was more okay as a teenager. :’-] Favorite drink is probably a kind of complicated cocktail that is very strong but also sweet and tangy, nursed for a long time. Or a sports drink if she’s on the go. (Lol her fave drink is just the alcoholic version of Meg’s).

Min likes anything spicy that is prepared well, but especially likes meat dishes. Girl wants her protein so she can kick ass. Really loves Ace’s cooking. Smell is 70% of taste. Spice it up, fam. Only knows how to cook 3 dishes on her own, but they’re a good 3. Doesn’t have a single fave. Although she does greatly enjoy just like, devouring a slab of meat if Anna cooks. It makes her feel like a powerful wild beast to just shred a flank with her teeth and she digs that. Fave drink is baijiu, although more in a competitive way because it’s alcoholic af & she can stomach it than actually for taste or pleasure. For taste she will just mooch off Nia & Ace, who both like fruity alcohol.

Ace likes a homemade bread recipe of his mother’s most (I think he and Frank are the only two with stated favorites in-fic?). Makes it a lot for the girls and for friends, and everyone likes it so this works out well. Enjoys martinis and any fruity alcohol, but is good about not actually getting drunk past lucidity. Also enjoys just really nice brands of various juice (mango is probably his favorite?)

Quentin likes his Dad’s pasta recipes probably most, but doesn’t have a favorite from among them. Also likes red velvet cake a lot because he only ever gets it on his birthday and it makes him happy. His mom died when he was really young and he pretty much doesn’t remember her, but one of the memories he still has is of her giving him birthday cake. It’s the time of year he always feels closest to her. Favorite drink is energy drinks because he’s stupid and likes to play god with his body and knock back adderall with shots of redbull. Didn’t like energy drinks so much before Freddy, and back then probably Coca-Cola or something was the fave, but now energy drinks are associated with comfort in his head, so he genuinely likes them. Also really likes M&Ms. Used to treat himself to a bag from the school vending machine if he had a shitty day, so they are also associated with comfort.

David likes chips (as in fries cut UK style/thick, not American chips). He is enlightened and sees the true value of all potato products as well, and honors them as such. Also is the enjoyable kind of person who genuinely & visibly appreciates most all good food. He likes beers too (you and Dwight, buddy) although he’s got better taste in them. His favorite drink is probably coffee though. He likes strong coffee, full body, with just a little bit of cream and sugar so it’s still bitter but has a pleasant edge to it. Not sure why that’s his favorite. He just really likes it.

Laurie likes strawberry milk. Would give that answer if asked for fave food or drink. If prompted further would consider, then suggest that as her drink, and some kind of really nice soup as her favorite—probably pumpkin. Will genuinely enjoy any gift of food someone picked out for her with some thought. Also loves Mac’n Cheese a lot, but would not admit to that to everyone because she’s kind of embarrassed that as many times as she’s had it in the past two years alone, her heart still sees a warm bowl and years for the good shit.

Kate likes fruit. Mangos, raspberries, blueberries, blackberries, peaches, pears, pomegranates. Has the patience to eat a pomegranate too. Would just say “fruit” if asked. Loves to pick it fresh. Favorite drink is probably a smoothie, but she would insist that counts. What flavor would vary, but she leans towards blueberry or raspberry on default because she likes the colors.

Tapp likes Chinese food. Mostly this is because Chinese takeout was the nicest thing he could ever afford on the reg as a treat. However, he gets to eat real chow mein and mapo tofu (former made by Ace, the latter by Min—spicy mapo tofu being one of the 3 dishes she knows), and decides those are now his favorite food. Would not ask people to make that because it would be being a hassle, and he would think it wouldn’t matter and would be stupid & not worthwhile to request a dish when visiting a friend, but gets excited internally when they make that & gives sincere and generous compliments. Tried and failed super badly to learn how to make both, but Rachel Thomas (who didn’t know at all how to either but is great at teaching herself shit) helped him figure it out and now he makes them as often as he can without feeling like it will get old/annoy the people living with him. Favorite drink is whiskey but that’s for depression reasons. For genuine enjoyment, he likes probably just juice. Orange or pomegranate.

Adam shares Min’s enjoyment of spicy foods, but is really into trying new things and genuinely doesn’t have a favorite. If he had to pick, he’d probably say Bulla cake, because it is his favorite desert/treat. He really enjoys them & they are nostalgic to him. Good memories of his childhood. His uncle wasn’t always great at knowing what to say, but used to pack him one to take to school any time he knew Adam was stressed or intimidated by an exam or due project. Even if it went bad, he had a comfort reward for making it through. Always buys them when he’s somewhere he can. Favorite drink is tea. He likes a wide variety, but masala, jasmine, and ginger are some constant favorites. Would actually know, care about, and adhere to proper boiling/steeping times per tea type.

Jeff likes baked goods. He really enjoys the baking process itself a whole lot, especially if he has people he can cook for/share with. Definitely has created several original & very good bread recipes. Prefers bready goods to sweet ones. About the sweetest fave he has is basic scones (just bread/no nuts or fruit or filling. Slightly sweet bread with a little sugar on top, meant to be paired with jams etc when eaten). Likes those a lot. Favorite drink shifts from subtype to subtype, but is always one of his homemade craft beers. Also enjoys Dr. Pepper (ah I knew I was forgetting—both he & Joey also have some stated canon favorites. So does Susie).

Jane’s favorites are both things her dad makes. He has a really good ceviche recipe and a complicated secret recipe bean dip, and Jane likes snacking on those with a bowl of chips while chatting on the porch. Slow meal extends both fun of chat and fun of conversation. And her dad has a really good sense of spice use. She can make both well too, but is convinced they taste completely different when she does & distressed by this. Her dad insists they taste the same, but also always sympathetically packs her some time take home anyway. Her favorite drink is probably either coffee or wine, out of familiarity and comfort. She’s not very particular though. As a treat she enjoys moccacinos with a ton of whipped cream a whole lot though.

This was already super long so I’m gonna stop here, but I wood cry if I didn’t include at least Philip in what is now clearly just a survivor lineup. So honorary addition:

Philip likes anything really cold and refreshing. Prefers things with a little bite, so he would pick a cola or alcohol over a fruity drink. Not a big preference past that. Always touched and surprised any time a friend goes into a gas station pitstop and comes back with /any/ ice cold beverage for him, no matter how many times it happens. The gesture to him is very much genuine kindness instead of a friendly nothing. For food, he likes anything with enough substance to actually make him not hungry. So meat dishes are a big plus, as is nice bread. He doesn’t have a favorite meal-meal, probably, but there is a kind of cookie made entirely of egg whites and sugar, that is beaten and fluffy and sweet like a cloud and really delicious somehow despite having almost no substance. Philip had no knowledge of these, but Claudette made him some one morning she was feeling happy not too long after they both first went home to Montreal, and the meringue chocolate chip cookie variant she made was one of the best things he had ever eaten, and probably is his favorite food. They’re like little bites of the concept of sweetness without it being an overdose, and have a very unique and pleasing texture. With the chocolate added, it’s just right. 👌 And then also, of course, it was a gift welcoming to his new home, from the person who more or less is his new home. : )

[glowstickia]

Author Interview

tagged by @potatocrab :3 thank~

tagging: @achamocha, @allislaughter, @gentlydetecting, @thestarjar, @kineticallyanywhere, @saintdeanthomas, @ihopethismakessense @memaidraws AND THE PERSON READING THIS! YOU YES YOU IF YOU WANNA DO IT THEN JUST DO IT!

Name: Glow

Fandom(s): uuuuuh...Danny Phantom, The Adventure Zone (used to write for both), Fallout, and several others that I don’t write for lol

Where You Post: Tumblr and Ao3 (Glowstickia...its my brand)

Most Popular One-Shot: ...its...its the crossover ship fic I wrote years ago ain’t it. *checks* It motherfuckin is. I KNEW IT. Goddamn...2014 was a year... I don’t wanna talk about it lol

Most Popular Multi-Chapter Story: I mainly write one-shots. And its def something pnat related cause I have so many pnat fics oh my god. Several of which are like multi-chapter.

Favorite Story You Wrote: PTH tough...I got like 64 fics man XD Hm... Counterbalance. I may not be into pnat anymore...but hot damn I’m like still motherfuckin PROUD OF IT! The stars fuckin aligned for that fic...also its uuuuuh choose your own adventure lololol Otherwise...my current stuff (ie Fallout fics) I’m like “oh hell yea I’m happy with this”

How You Choose Your Titles: If its a one word title...typically that’s the prompt I had lol. I’m very fuckin partial to using song titles tho XD if I’m listening to a song while writing a fic on repeat...that song is gonna be tied to that fic/those characters involved.

Complete: I...know I have a bad track record with completing multi-chapter fics. It’s mostly cause of like, life getting in the way, or I lose interest cause like hardly anyone really leaves feedback on my stuff haha ah... I have adhd like baaaad. I’m also a motherfuckin slow writer. BUT! One-shots? I got dem for days man. I can complete the hell out of them!!! I’m just...real fuckin slow looool XD

Incomplete: This goes back to my bad track record with multi-chapter fics. Thankfully like...I fuckin learned about the [bracket] method so now I’m like...more likely to PUSH THROUGH things. I also am like constantly juggling like several wips at once haha

Do You Outline?: It’s typically vague af. “I want this to happen” and that’s basically it. If its longer...bit more in depth. But like brackets? HELP SO MUCH

Coming Soon/Not Yet Started: Well, many things. Ch2 of Sanctuary Hills...is making slow progress BUT PROGRESS! Work’s been kickin my ass lol. I did some edits and still need to write the last fuckin chuuuunk which isn’t much but I’m dragging my feet LOL Also, Rest & Rewind is sorta at a standstill mostly cause I like what I got, but I want to push a bit more cause like hey...bonding. There’s also the “mansion” fic I maybe blowing a bit out of proportion OOPS but I’m having fun coming up with more spooky shit haha. NOOOOT to mention like other things I have planned... :3c

Do You Accept Prompts?: Yes! But I’m like...really weird about them? I gotta hit a certain mindset for them. Also, being a slow writer, I just seriously need to take a step back and stop trying to make everything fuckin long XD I think I just need to try drabbles again. I do miss writing short af stuff lol STILL!!! Feel free to send! They’ll probs sit for a bit, but I’ll def hit them up! tumblr’s wonk and like...I’ll forget about asks sometimes too...oops

Upcoming Story You Are Most Excited To Write: That spooky mansion fic I mentioned ngl. I’m totes excited to write more spooky shit! Esp since it’ll be The END Squad (Echo, Nick, & Deacon ;3c ) But I’m also...excited for uh a few other things? Mostly, some uh super indulgent stuff I’m trying to push myself to do more. I’m a bit like “BUT PLOT”, but also...the indulgence...

[joi-in-the-tardis]

Top 10 of the 2010′s

I was tagged by both @megabadbunny and @jemsauce to list off my Top Ten of the 2010′s.  So... here goes!

I got my first real job all on my own.  I had had a job previously doing daycare for a friend (who was actually in the process of shutting down her home business).  While that was technically a real job- I had to be finger-printed!- it was pretty much handed to me.  In 2010, I started my baking job.  I know I do a lot of complaining about it... and it’s mostly earned... But, this job was my first step to real freedom.  As angry as I get with the company, they were the only company to call me back in a year of submitting applications.

A few months later I got my first apartment all on my own, also.  I had never lived on my own, having moved from my parents house to living with my best friend and her hubby and then to his parents’ house.  I remember how nervous I was at the thought of spending so much time alone.  What would it be like not to come home to people?  I’m an introvert, but I was used to having people.  I’ve loved the hell out of living by myself.  Sure, I would love to find a partner (for lots of reasons) but this time to myself has taught me how to relax and just be.  Coming home to a space that is all mine was exactly what I needed.  I sometimes wonder if I can being re-domesticated. lol

I took out a loan on a car almost all by myself (my dad co-signed my loan) and paid it off all by myself and when it quit on me recently I bought a brand new car on my own (for real this time).  So much adulting!

I got a kitty of my own.  I’ve had kitty companions all my life, but this one is all mine (and she doesn’t really like anyone else so it’s for the best! ha!).  I won’t sully my previous companions by saying she’s the best kitty ever, but she is the best kitty of this decade.  She’s exactly who I need- smart, sassy, and incredibly cuddly.

I fell in love and got my heart broken.  I know that sounds sad and on my worst days I wonder if it was worth it.  But on all the other days I’m grateful that I know what it felt like- that I was capable of such a strong feeling for someone.

Because I fell in love I wound up on Tumblr!  When those bad days hit I sit and think of all you guys... I wouldn’t know any of you if it weren’t for the heartbreak and you guys are more than worth it.  In my Tumblr time I: fell in love with Doctor Who, discovered David Tennant and subsequently fell for him too, learned that there’s drama in an social setting no matter how nice everyone may seem, but that even in the midst of that you can forge lasting bonds that are worth the trouble.  

Through Tumblr I also discovered a whole new queer vocabulary.  I went through a number of labels before settling on biro ace enby (and I still hold the right to change my mind, all things being fluid).  Bonding with other queer folks here has been a godsend that I hope I repay by trying to pass on all the encouragement that they’ve given me (and that I desperately needed when I was younger).  Special shout out to @skyler10fic who taught me ace labels I didn’t even know existed and who’s transparency and authenticity on this site made me want to be more open, both to myself and others.

I discovered two of the people that I consider my dearest friends: I think my first real chat with @jemsauce centered around accidentally coming out to my best friend as an enby and omg-I-needed-to-talk-to-someone-about-it!  Though, I think there was mutual blog commenting before that.  In any case, it’s spawned what I consider an epic friendship that’s only gotten stronger in the interim.  Jem you’re sharp, strong, funny and supportive in all the best measures.  Your creativity never ceases to amaze me and watching your art continue to bloom/improve has been a pleasure (and especially awesome when it’s mine ngl! haha!).  Our chats are a highlight of my week and each visit with you has been a highlight of the 2010s.  When I’m with you and yours I feel like I’m part of the family.  The other person is @onthedriftinthetardis: from Sour Blob, to my showing up a bit schnockered and upset in your chatbox, to nerding out over dinosaurs (and anything else we find interesting!), to your uncanny ability to curate amazing goodie-boxes...  You are one of the most accepting, supportive, generous, clever (especially with awful puns lol), unfailingly-kind people I know.  I love our serious and silly moments.  Visiting with you and seeing baby turtles (!!!!!) was such a fun time and attending your wedding was an absolute honor.

I rediscovered my love of baking from scratch and sculpting.  I’ve done both all of my life in one form or another... But things really took off this decade.  I discovered that I rather like abstract sculpting thanks to my Bestie’s Art Party Prompts.  I hope to play with more clay in the coming year.  As for the baking... Doing it for a living helped me learn new things and realize some things I thought were hard, just aren’t.  The 2010′s saw me learn how to make bread, bagels, muffins, and oodles of different cookies.  I’m hoping in the next decade I can successfully tackle pastry!

I learned who I was.  I was 24 at the beginning of this decade.  I was dragging around a lot of labels from my teens and early twenties... Things that people told me I was.  Half-baked ideas of who I might be.  Crippling fears and uncertainties abounded.  But, really?  My life as something that was wholly mine started in 2010.  My job, my car, my home, my cat, my art, my found family.  I hope to walk in to the 2020′s with all that to bolster me as I find more self-discovery and keep working towards improvement.

Some other names I would like to drop (please if you’re not listed... assume I’m a doof before you assume I don’t love you!): @davinasgirlfriend // @wordsintimeandspace // @draco9236 // @creativebec // @ktrosesworld // @chocolatequeennk // @fleurdeneuf // @maitre-kuroneko // @acreasy1 // @stupidsatsuma // @pellaaearien // @darthtella // @courtxxvincent // @aapicula // @spiritwho // @getbacktoblogwarts // @blueboxesandtrafficcones // @colourinside // @caricature-of-a-witch // @fracturedmind // @lastbluetardis // @thedoctorofsteel // @emeraldlady // @bad-----wolf // @sequencefairy

Also, if I’ve tagged you then you have an excuse to do the thing.  Or if you’re reading it, bless your heart. lols

[hmajorgirl]

so here I am for old times sake. it’s been 5 years and a lot has changed. but i’m kinda still the same. maybe my inner monologue doesn’t sound as self-assured as it did when I was 15. maybe i don’t romanticise the shit out of every 2 second eye contact i make with cute strangers. maybe i don’t grammar well anymore because i think it’s a cute look. Oh wow. so much of the world has changed. facial recognition, instagram shops, the pandemic... so many new songs i play on repeat until i’m sick of them. i’m a lot less motivated than i was before, and i’m ashamed to admit that. i have smile lines. i feel more and more defeated everyday (actually, we’re trying to work on this). but yh the sad emo vibes never quite dissipated like i dreamed they would, i felt so betrayed by the order of things and the way of the world that i lost a lot of hope. gave up on myself (a bit... a lot sometimes). but other times, it’s gucci. i feel like i’m definitely more cringe than cheesy now. not sure if that’s a good thing, pretty sure it’s not. 

hmm. what hasn’t changed? still unfortunately in love with love, but i can mostly see the difference between real life and the cute shit that happens in my head. i’m learning to have faith, to trust. to start living life and exist in the same dimension as other people because even though it sucks, it’s better than existing alone in your head. i realised that studying will only get you a quarter of the way to things and unfortunately stopped that shit. it wasn’t a good idea because i didn’t pick anything else up. i’m still writing songs. still singing them badly. BUT my singing has improved marginally:) i still love my parents, family is all good (touch wood). still a bit too impressionable but we’re working on building a stronger willpower and independence. still love taylor swift. still want to run away to the creative industry. still want to runaway sometimes (in general). I still write! sometimes. wow, i guess some things really just don’t change. 

The good? Hmm my eyes have been opened to the multi-dimensions of wealth and inequality and cultural differences that exist in the world. I am thankful for that and didn’t know that money could buy so much. but simultaneously feel disheartened that the discrepancy is so large between people at birth. inequity is real and idk how i feel about that because i really believed in the natural justice system. and then I was so caught up in these feelings of betrayal and injustice that i forgot that i am lucky enough to have the opportunity to change things. I forgot about it for 5 years and now it feels like it’s too late. i know it’s not. 

that was a digression. 

the good. okay. hmm discovered korean dramas and the mastery that is cinema and how it evokes emotions through stories and idk that’s just a piece of my soul coming together. i work out occasionally. sadly i stopped dance but i’m vowing to sign up for classes once i have the money. i got a spotify membership and spend my days making playlists for myself and it’s one of the best things that has ever happened to me. I really hate how my inner core is so soft and romantic, it’s not fit for the capitalist society that we’re living under. i have friends, i like them, they like me. there is a guy, maybe. there were a few guys actually. i’m not sure how long this one is going to be around for GAHHH omg imagine if i re-read this in five years time and i’m laughing at myself because he screwed me over so bad idk. i have bad self-esteem issues. i am kinda joking, kinda not. okay, i like him but let’s move onto another topic. i’m trying my best to adult and be honest with my feelings and approach things with feigned maturity to mask my pre-teen thoughts. let’s leave it at that:)

i remember that taylor said that the lucky one was the hardest song to write for the red album. because it was solely about her and her life. no guys (apart from the second verse but okay that’s not central to the song). it’s the same for me. i don’t want to talk about the direction of my professional life because it scares me more than messing my life up romantically. for now, i’m beginning to see the role of passion and interest in work and it’s importance. I’m trying my best to walk towards that direction because i know that ultimately i want a career that I would love to work overtime for. but i’m still trying to balance the scales between what i want and the confinements of reality. i need to make money. sometimes it feels like an either or kind of situation and i don’t know what to do. but maybe this is just standard 20 year old thoughts. okay but we have 2 months left of uni so i’m going back to studying. i hope that when i look back on this i would have a 2:1 bachelors (but let’s be honest we want a first) 

some final thoughts for 25 year old me because why not make your tumblr a time-capsule? dodie-style. 

what are you listening to right now? I’m listening to 21 by gracie. Are you seeing anyone? Honestly, I don’t see you in a steady relationship because i feel like your self-esteem will get in the way of things - either that or you get your shit together and focus on your career too much. I hope it’s the latter. I hope family is all well and healthy. call them. right now, if you’re not living with them. DEAR GOD PLS don’t still be living with them. OH GOD DO YOU HAVE YOUR OWN FLAT/HOUSE?? where are you by the way? london? what are you doing right now career-wise? how’s it going? is it what you want to do? does it fit in with your life plan? please tell me you have a life plan by now. i hope i’m proud of you. i hope you’re working hard. how are you? really? are you rich enough to afford therapy and weekly spin/pilates sessions? what’s up with your social circle? are you still writing? ARE THERE DRONES EVERYwhere? How’s chloe? Elizabeth? Jason? Update me, what happened with the guy - i want to hear a story. do you cook now? did you manage to turn your personality type from a 2/9 enneagram to a 3? bitch we gonna work on this. do you still write songs? can you sing? you don’t have kids right lmao pls no god help us. what’s your yearly salary post-tax? did you start dancing again? did you start to learn piano again? what happened with the pandemic? how long were you quarantined for? do you still make spotify playlists haha? what tv series are you currently binging? do you hate me? please tell me your still blogging ur life on ur private instagram. how many followers do you have now? who are you having conversations right now with on facebook? what are your colleagues like? are you less people orientated now that you’ve realised that they cannot provide you with the love that you are depriving yourself of from yourself? DO YOU READ? are you the perfect health-freak, ig-girl, smart business woman, go-getter in her white suit at the glass media company that you dreamed about being at those dark spin sessions? GOD IMAGINE. I hope you are but i don’t have faith right now. pls tell me you don’t teach (or you teach and ur salary is insane in a good way). are you a journalist? you didn’t go into consulting right? did you study again after uni? are you the screenwriter that you’ve dreamed about? did your poetry account blow up and now you’re a full time poet? I still kinda hope you work at a nice glass office (brand consulting, advertising, media, journalism) and wear cute coords suits to work. and i hope you’re writing on the side because it’s who you are. I hope you’re reading lots and I hope you’re super smart and switched on. I hope you’re memory has improved a lot. I hope you’re in love, I hope he loves you back and I hope you know that too. I hope you have a great and healthy relationship with your parents and see your extended family and grandparents often. I hope everyone is healthy and I hope you took your parents to duck and waffle like you wanted (don’t do it when you’re poor though). I hope you’re taking care of your health and eating well. I hope you’re still dreaming in a realistic way. I hope you have great mentors and a supportive friend group. I hope you’re living your best life. re-read the defining decade. but i hope you don’t reminisce to much anymore and don’t write too many songs because you’re 25, time to break out the novel shit. I hope you’ve travelled alot. I hope you spend a few more summers in china falling in love with life and yourself again. how is your chinese? are you still a romantic? tell me, have you changed, if at all? do you read the news? are you less cynical about yourself and more realistic or less optimistc about the world? I hope you are. contingencies are important.

are you excited for the future? I hope you are. if not, please change, you have time, all you need is faith and diligence. hope you’re holding up well. Me? at 20? I’m excited about what my 25 year old self is going to be like, like i was excited to see what my gcse results were going to be like. I hope the results are the same. work hard. i love you. hope you love yourself more. BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. have faith. :) i can’t do much for you, but i hope i did a lot to get to where you are right now. hoping is useless, i’m going to work now. 

take care x