#Sometimes 'the real thing' is mostly just branding haha

[stellaluna33]

So, I had the opportunity recently (thanks to some birthday money and a really good deal) to buy some British wool tweed, like the Real Stuff, and... GUYS. 😭 Ok, so the interesting thing is that right now I can directly compare it to another wool tweed that was given to me from someone else's fabric stash, one that was probably woven very cheaply somewhere else.

The "real" stuff is so dense, tightly-woven, and sturdy... It's just gorgeous... The weave is so firm that the cut edge isn't unraveling AT ALL! It's hardy, and it just feels exactly like the kind of thing you'd want to be wearing while tramping across the moors and avoiding getting tangled in some gorse bushes or something... 😆 (I've never met a gorse bush, but I've READ about them)

And the other stuff... It's wool! I'll give it that! But it's just loosely woven and flimsy and floppy and just kind of disappointing? 😆 The person I got it from SERGED the cut edge just to stop it from unraveling on the shelf! Any wind would just cut right through it, and if it met a gorse bush, then WELL... I think the gorse bush would win, is all I'm saying...

The difference is just night and day, and like, have you ever come across something that's just a perfect embodiment of the Thing it's SUPPOSED to be? The British Tweed actually from Britain really is that Thing.

[rius-cave]

Hi! I faintly remember you mentioning somewhere that you were planning to get a new drawing tablet. Did you end up purchasing one? If yes, would you mind sharing your choice? I've been using a small screenless wacom tablet for years and I need a new one now, but I've been thinking about getting a better one this time. Is it even worth it if I only draw as a hobby?

Hi! Yup, I did get one! Here's a random pic of my workspace (+ extra sneak peek of StOP lol)

I got a Huion Kamvas 16 (2.5k) :)

I take getting a new drawing tablet VERY SERIOUSLY so I spent a long time considering my options. If you're looking to buy a new one, I do have some recommendations!

1) Never buy Wacom again lol

Here's the thing, Wacom is a good brand, my first tablet was Wacom too, but they are the Apple of drawing tablets. Sure, they're good quality, but they're HORRENDOUSLY overpriced, you're mainly just purchasing the brand when you buy one. A few years ago they were the obvious choice because they were the best around, but nowadays? Other brands are just as good if not BETTER for sometimes half the price (or even less).

If you're debating on whether or not to get a pen display (with a screen), that honestly would depend mostly on your budget. Even if you're a hobbyist, getting a pen display is fine, the most important factor is how much you are willing to spend on one of these. The one I got is like a semi professional tablet and it's priced at $599 on the official store, right now they have a sale and it's at $529 (though I got it for much cheaper lol)

The other factor would honestly be how you work + what kind of space you have. As you can tell, my desk is small and it's kinda cramped, there are A LOT OF CABLES with this thing and I think that's kinda the standard for pen displays :/ I'm also having to readjust to how to work with the buttons + the keyboard. (you can get an extra small keypad for this, but I didn't). Moreover, if you want something that's portable, these... Are not great for that, they're usually big boys and like I said, there are a lot of cables

I have to say, I only got it like a week ago and I'm having to readjust to this new way of working, but the actual experience while drawing and using the pen is quite nice! The large working area is interesting and I think I'm drawing faster with it! I always wanted to get one of these and I'm very happy with my purchase.

So yeah! It has pros and cons, but overall it's a good experience. Don't feel pressure to switch to a pen display though, normal pen tablets work just fine obviously and if you're not crazy about the idea of a pen display, or you don't have the budget, it's not really a deal breaker. For real though, don't get Wacom lol Huion and XP pen are two of the best, affordable brands right now.

Lastly, check the specs! Check the reviews! Check unboxings! Preferably from people that were not sponsored by the brand (they'll obviously talk better about the product). This applies to any new tablet you get, whether it's a pen display or a pen tablet. Compare models if you need to, I was debating between this one and a similar xp pen model and I was lucky enough to find a girl reviewing both of them and comparing them.

Sorry I went on kinda long haha but I hope it helped!! Good luck!

[moddeydhoo]

bow i wanna hear your thoughts on narrator chara lol

:D That's sweet of you! I was honestly expecting my previous UT post to be either ignored or flamed into pieces, haha, but a few people seem to have liked it.

Well, won't bury the lede here: my thoughts on NarraChara are basically "it's a nice idea, but it's wrong".

(Full warning that I don't have the spoons to drag up lots of screengrabs just now. In this post I just ramble a little bit without posting pics.)

Vibes-based NarraTobism

I call my take on the narrator's identity NarraToby, though just for brevity and not to suggest Toby inserted himself as a character into the game (would that be called dogegesis? A DPC?) to narrate.

Toby's brain is lovely and subtle and silly, and he'd be capable of making the narrator their own person, Slay the Princess style (or Homestuck style, more fittingly, considering his pomerorigin story), but I just don't agree he crafted Undertale's text in that way. Vibes no check out. I've written, read and watched things that play around with narration, and you really kinda have to have a concept like that in mind from the beginning. It's a huge amount of work to keep it in character, and frankly, I think Toby would have done it better if that's what he intended.

(There'd also be more about it in Legends of Localisation, I feel like. Every character's dialogue was carefully fitted to their personality upon translation. IS THE NARRATOR ORE OR WATASHI TOBY WE NEED TO KNOW. YES THEY USE A PRONOUN IN "I COULDN'T STOP LAUGHING")

I warned that this is mostly vibes-based ramble, so... to me, it doesn't feel like every instance of Undertale's non-dialogue text is from the same POV. Sometimes it's omniscient-seeming, peeking at an opponent's thoughts or going into detail about what brand of cosmetic they're dabbing behind where, and sometimes the narration describes the world from Frisk's more limited point of view (lol height joke short nerd). Sometimes it's outright holding your hand and giving you hints (no, really really, talking will do no more good here, try something else). In a game, the text has a lot of tasks to do, some semi-contradictory even.

In In Stars and Time, the tutorial is spoken to you by the characters in your party and other hints are also spoken to you by a named character. That's an example of it being done deliberately. And Slay the Princess, of course.

A lot of Undertale's narration isn't stuff the First Fallen Then Rezzed Human could reasonably know. Was Papyrus born when Chara was around? They have been dead, and/or a bit of them has been stuck inside a goat inside a flower, all this time. Our determination was what raised them from death, they tell us; ours in particular and not the other children's. It doesn't seem like they were doing much of anything before we landed on their oft-squished grave. At this point they need to be a ghost and psychic, and have the game's design documents on hand, and be able to read Toby's spaghetti code to tell you the monsters' stats, and...

(also when tf did Chara read Kitchen)

Dare I say it's not that serious...? aka Unnrtall Funni

Discussing NarraChara is made harder by UT's general goofiness. Fourth-wall breaks and commentary on game mechanics leak more than once into character dialogue (Paps, I'm looking at you, mister "hold up to jump higher" dating HUD guy). This happens for spoops as well as goofs, such as when you accidentally kill goat mom and panic and feel horrible and load the game and she says something that suggests she remembers what happened and then you TOTALLY get got by Flowey afterwards and no that didn't happen on my first playthrough why do you ask (it did).

Goofiness is also why I feel things like Blooky responding directly to narration text ("oh, i'm real funny") shouldn't be taken as serious. It is really cute to imagine a ghost exchanging banter with the other ghost over your shoulder—like I said, I do see the appeal. I just don't think it works overall.

SIDE NOTE! If you want a fangame that uses this concept (ghost Chara, not NarraChara), download PS!Outertale and make sure you explore Toriel's home very thoroughly (hint: 1 is too high).

Trying to assemble a coherent personality for the narration text, when the entire game occasionally messes with you just for fun, feels like a doomed project.

Red text is them, though, right?

Yeah, I feel like that's very much intentional. As far as red text goes on the murder route, we're all correct that this is meant to be understood as PlayerName/Chara's dialogue.

Butttttt I don't necessarily think it represents their unaltered personality. By the time any red rext shows up, you've cleared out the Ruins to "nobody came" levels, so plenty of murder has already happened.

The murder route is the process of fully overriding Frisk's personality, forcing them into a true player analogue in an intentional mirror of the true pacifist route, as much as it is the process of teaching Chara the true meaning of this world. Chara outright tells you this at the end: at first they were confused, but now they see that the point of life is Number Go Up. You showed them that.

(All this is why I think it's good to keep in mind that the expected Undertale experience is playing with your own name for the human. [child pops up] "Greetings. I am PlayerName. Aaaaaand it's time to grab your knives and get ready for the wall dance because today we're 100%ing Undertale!")

In other words, Pacifist teaches one sibling that the world is better than he thinks. Murdercide teaches the other that humanity is exactly what they think. "Don't kill and don't be killed" vs. "Actually, kill". ("Be killed" is just rage-quitting because you can't figure out the Mettaton fight because you forgot the yellow soul could shoot and you thought the idea was to get the ratings to zero so he'd go off air and no I didn't have to look up help with that fight on my first playthrough why do you ask (I did).)

Headcanony murder route stuff rambling from previous

If this even still counts as a NarraChara post, it's sort of wandered onto the murder route ending monologue now, so you're welcome to peace out here. ♥

This part'll get headcanony, but to me, Chara was a troubled child who hated humanity, in a childlike way, and did not hate monsters. I don't credit the fanon about them intentionally poisoning their dad; they just reacted with apparently low empathy to his illness, while filing the consequences of their mistake away for later.

The one person Chara ever directly killed was not a monster and it wasn't murder.

Their desire to see monsters go free feels genuine to me. In the planning stage, whether or not they intended to murder any humans for their souls (it's not super clear; maybe they thought they could sneak into a hospital and kill-steal their way to victory), in any case, they weren't out to kill more than six. Chara's goal was a focused one: free monsters. Any dabbing on humanity, such as placing their body back in their village as a giant "frick you", seemed to be secondary (and something explainable as them being, y'know, a child who felt the need to climb that mountain).

My take on the murder route is that it's a process of retraumatising the child by making them watch their family and subjects die. Starting with their mother! Chara loved Toriel, if their speech patterns are anything to go by. (Ever noticed Asriel says "Howdy" and Chara says "Greetings"?)

Anyway, Chara is intelligent, pragmatic and self-determining, and so they intellectualise the horror that's happening to them in such a way as to assign themself agency. I am the one in control. Yes. I must be doing these things. I... am the demon.

Right?

This end screen could use more nines. ♥

he literally pUT THEIR DIALOGUE IN RED TEXT TO EMPHASISE THE DIFFERENCE and I know we're a fandom starved for content but seriously how badly is it possible to overcomplicate tHE BIG RED TEXT

also Chara was a good kid and I will mercy u all

[thunderheadfred]

🦅Hawks HC’s🦅

This is SO unnecessarily long. Some NSFW. Minors do not interact.

- - - - -

General

Has zero social life or hobbies outside of work. He knows it’s unhealthy, but like, who has the time?? Oh? Lots of people do?? Haha what are healthy work/home boundaries? He desperately wants to retire and always talks about a world without heroes, but the truth is he would have no idea what to do with himself if he got his way. Take him to a park at midnight and watch him turn into a giant repressed child on a swing. He’ll do a standing-360 and it will be terrifying.

Listens to music way too loud in his headphones to drown out wind noise. Probably half deaf at this point. His musical taste is wild; listening history all over the fucking place. Algorithms have no idea what to do with him.

That visor? It’s prescription. Wow is he far-sighted. He wears glasses. He’s not blind without them (rather the opposite) but they help him see things directly in front of him without massive eye strain. Yeah, he looks really hot in glasses.

Prefers communicating via text. Sometimes it’s a lot of dumb memes, but mostly it’s sincere. He can say what he means when he doesn’t have to put on a public front.

Smokes like a chimney. Self medicates with stimulants. Coffee, tobacco, sugar. Fidgety, likes things in his mouth or hands. Gnashes on toothpicks and popsicle sticks. He really should go back to therapy, huh? His teeth are sparkling white for the cameras but his breath could use some work. Chews gum a lot to compensate, and always does it really loudly with a big shit-eating grin.

Impatient as fuuuuuck. Rude about it. If you take too long doing anything, you’re going to hear a foot tapping. He’ll smile and laugh it off, never ever directly criticize you about it. But lord, the dramatic sighs. He WILL nudge you out of the way and take over in order to finish a task faster, and it’s truly fucking annoying.

LOVES food. Has the metabolism of an actual bird. Will seize upon any excuse to eat. No need to be self-conscious about eating in front of him; he wants you to enjoy it. Steals bites from you and talks with his mouth full. Prefers street food and take-out, usually eats while walking or flying. Sit-down restaurants are an invitation for gawkers.

He’s one of those celebrities that looks way taller on TV. In real life, he’s small and compact. So you’re surprised the first time you see him in person. He has a big head. Literally.

If you’re taller or bigger than him, he does Not Care. He treats everyone like they’re four feet tall, even Endeavor. Everything you do is cute. If you’re actually short, he’s going to carry you around all the time, and there’s nothing you can do about it.

Collects big chunky overpriced watches. All the better to tell you you’re late.

Half his clothes are brand fucking new. Sometimes he forgets to take off the tags. (Don’t look at the prices, do NOT) He never seems to wear the same thing twice. He also never seems to go shopping. Brands just give him stuff, and he shrugs and goes “yeah okay.”

The other half of his clothes are old, faded, and patched up. Every item he acquires for himself has deep sentimental value. If you tell him to throw away that nasty ten-year-old pair of frayed cargo pants, be prepared to find out how wrong and evil you are for even suggesting it.

He doesn’t snore; he coos. Loudly. Like a fucking pigeon trapped in a megaphone.

- - - - -

Dating

Gift-giving is his love language. Bringing your favorite snacks. Leaving novelty magnets on your fridge. He found a copy of that book/game/movie you mentioned like a month ago, don’t you remember? If he has to go out of town on a job, he’ll bring back the ugliest possible souvenir, just to annoy you.

He likes gifting jewelry especially. Covering you in shiny baubles, little golden things. Not expensive, but unusual. Antiques or handmade, even bizarre vending machine crap. Gets really handsy if you wear or show off his gifts.

Since you’re the first person who has given him The Feels, if you are resistant to his advances (like, say, because he’s way too famous and you’re terrified he’s gonna break your heart) he’s going to go fucking nuts trying to woo you. Doesn’t have a single patient bone in his body but will wait as long as it takes for you to come around. He’ll act like he’s cool with just being friends at first, just hanging out, haha. Oh you’re busy today? That’s cool. Inside he’s shrieking like a tea kettle. Go ahead, make him wait.

Don’t bother giving him a key to your place. He’s coming in through the bedroom window or patio door. Just put out a damn welcome mat on your balcony... or a bird feeder.

A bit of a voyeur. He likes to watch you do your normal routine without interruption. He can see from miles away so if you’ve got your lights on at night, he’ll creep for a while before he comes in. It comforts him immensely, seeing a little slice of the world that isn’t constantly in need of saving.

Is super talkative and funny but a terrible communicator. Makes more jokes the worse he feels. Will almost never tell you what he needs. Most of the time, he doesn’t even know. You will learn to read between the lines and gradually notice his tiny unconscious cries for help. Back rubs make him emotional.

He shows up at your place at the weirdest times. All hours. You’re never ready. At first it was infuriating, because you wanted to look your best and have time to prepare, but you figure out pretty quickly that seeing you in your natural state is his favorite thing. He never gets to be around normal people, doing normal things. A boring, lazy afternoon is his idea of paradise.

He’ll pick through your things and ask a world of invasive questions. A medicine cabinet raider. He wants to know every fucking tiny thing about you, live vicariously through you.

He actually lives in a top floor penthouse. Because I mean, where else? Never spends any time there; mostly he seems to roost on the balcony. He has used the front door maybe once. He much prefers your place, and will only take you back to his after months of dating. It’ll take like, an entire emergency. You’ll end up in his bed by mistake.

Because when you finally come over, he’s embarrassed. Its sparse. White. Things in boxes. A new furniture smell. Like he’s not done moving in, though he’s lived there for years. He wants you to move in So Bad but doesn’t want to be pushy. If you don’t start leaving your stuff there, he’ll steal things from your apartment. Where the hell is your favorite t-shirt? Or that pillowcase you like? Dammit Keigo.

He’s a decent cook, a habit he made himself pick up because he thought it might make him feel more normal. It... didn’t. He never actually cooks until you give him an excuse. He’ll bring you breakfast in bed and watch you eat every bite with big hungry eyes.

He’s got a separate wardrobe for his hero costume and all his feathers. Yeah. His feathers. Because he can detach and control his feathers at will, when he’s alone at home he kind of just... shucks off his wings. The first time you see him do it, your eyes fall out of your head. He walks around in a tee shirt and boxers with these ugly little stumps covered in brownish, blood-red down. It actually looks kind of gnarly, like he got mauled by a bear.

He’s never dated until you. No one has ever been in his apartment until you. No one has called him Keigo until you. He has some bigass intimacy issues. Because. Y’know. The trauma. But god, he wants you in his life so bad, even if he has no idea how to make time for your relationship.

He’ll want to keep you to himself for a while. Once you go public he’s going to have an arm around your shoulders at all times. Publicly Displays his Affection way more than is socially acceptable in Japan, and gives precisely -100,000 fucks.

His fans either love you or hate you. There is no in between. He will immediately take your phone and threaten to drop it from a great height if he catches you reading shitty gossip about the two of you. Does NOT care about his public image anymore, doesn’t want YOU to care about it either. He’s gonna retire soon anyway, remember? That’s a lie.

Being a charming motherfucker is the core of his public persona, so you will get jealous. A lot. He will flirt shamelessly without realizing it. He will get photographed in compromising positions with gorgeous people.

Once you accept that he’s basically an actor 80% of the time and that Hawks and Keigo are separate identities, you’ll both feel better. When he comes home (to YOU) and falls over exhausted and stops being Hawks(tm), when he scratches his ass or burps in front of you, when he yells to you from the bathroom, when he groans childishly about his shitty day while laying face-down in your lap, you’ll know you have nothing to worry about. Keigo is all yours.

Boundaries? Never heard of ‘em. He’s either a million lightyears away or he’s glued to your hip. The whiplash is astounding.

Absolutely says “I love you” wayyyyyy to soon. It thrills you but scares you off at the same time, because there’s no way Hawks - The Hawks - can actually mean it, right? (He does)

Rings? Nah. When things get serious, he will make a necklace out of a feather for you, and if you ever take it off, you better be asleep or in the shower. Even then you’re on thin fuckin ice. If you’re not wearing it he knows. He’s never mean about making you put it back on, it just makes him nervous if he can’t feel your heartbeat.

- - - - -

SPICY CHICKEN NUGGETS

High sex drive. Horny like 25/7. Probably a symptom of having way too much pent up stress.

Often takes care of it himself when he doesn’t have the emotional resources for anyone else, even his S.O. Figures you don’t want him coming on to you as often as he would like to, but he’s too stupid to talk to you about it first. Morning masturbator.

Yes he’s fucked around a lot but he’s not exactly a playboy either. People have always thrown themselves at him, and before he met you he let them do it. Especially when out of town and staying in a hotel. Whatever happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, etc.

He’d never be unfaithful to you though; his loyalty and dedication are frankly a little unsettling. Sometimes you feel like the only thing in his life other than hero work. Teach this man to knit. Make him join a book club. Christ. Anything.

Does in fact have seasonal mating patterns and it’s super embarrassing.

An underwear-sniffing perv. He’ll definitely hump your pillow.

Gets a sick thrill out of breaking in and startling you. Coming up behind you in the dark, sneaking into your bed. It’s probably his worst habit, and even he hates that he does it. If you get better at detecting him he’ll be so proud. Land a slap on him and he’ll be a horny mess.

Dog-whistles at you. Often from rooftops, and you have no idea where he is but you know he’s leering.

He will call you a lot of really stupid pet names. He likes the way you blush when he finds a newer, stupider one. Calls you angel when he’s really far gone.

Likes to scratch you with his stubble until your skin turns raw and sensitive. If it annoys you or hurts a little? Even better. Making you squirm is his new favorite thing. Especially when going down on you. Your inner thighs are always exfoliated.

His cock is average in every respect. This is not a bad thing. He knows how to please you with every totally normal inch of that cock. He has some kind of homing beacon installed on your sensitive spots.

Goes absolutely insane for blowjobs. Any time, any place.

Likes to bend you around in all kinds of positions with an assist from his feathers to hold up an ankle here, an arm there. Get used to floating mid-coitus. It just seems to happen.

Spanky.

His number one priority is making you feel adored and at home in his bed. Ohhhhh he likes to make you smile. But if you encourage him to get pushy and dominant with you, you will have a good, good time.

He’s switchy, and will lose his shit if you initiate or take control. Again, he’s always horny for you, because he can finally let go. Breathe in his direction and he’s hard.

Doesn’t moan much, but Babe, he’s a dirty talker. He’s not smooth or deliberate about it, it’s more like he can’t fucking believe you let him do whatever he wants to you. You like that huh? Like he’s in stages of shock. He’s singing your praises to high Heaven and muttering oh shit oh shit oh shittttttt and laugh-crying as he cums. He never talks about his feelings; he fucks about them.

After. Care. King. He loves pampering and clucking over you anyway, this is simply another excuse to do it. He knows exactly how much water you drink in a day. Can’t take care of himself for shit, but you? You’ll never have a need he won’t try to fill. What’s all that hero work for if not this? Yeah, soak it up. You deserve it.

[mourntheantagonist]

steve gets billy a bunch of toys from sex stores so he can practice when steve is away on trips with his parents. he also visits the shop so frequently that all the workers know him by name.

this inspired meee

this is like... way more than you asked for oops

slutty!steve/inexperienced!billy

***

steve didn’t actually intend to show his little collection to billy just yet. they had only actually been officially dating for three weeks, and they were still in the process of figuring everything out between them. navigating through the dynamics of their relationship. figuring out what worked best for them.

steve didn’t want to freak billy out.

but he made the lapse in judgment and told billy to grab him a new shirt from his dresser. he wasn’t specific enough about the drawer he was talking about. he’s honestly surprised billy didn’t have a full fledged heart attack when he pulled open the drawer. an entire rainbow of sex toys. dildos of all different shapes and sizes. little bullet vibrators. plugs. beads. definitely not something the virgin mind should have to be exposed to all at once.

but somehow billy didn’t freak out. not outwardly at least. just said “wrong drawer” under his breath and closed it. grabbed steve a shirt and just didn’t say another word about it.

until one day when they’re simply lying in steve’s bed, sprawled out on their backs and staring at the ceiling. well, steve is staring at the ceiling. billy is staring at the drawer. building it up inside of him to ask steve his questions.

“do you use all of them?”

look, he didn’t have that many. a good amount but nothing to be concerned over. he just had more than your average eighteen year old boy. six or seven dildos in total. three bullet vibrators he never actually used on himself, and then a couple other things he’d picked up along the way. he’d say it was a healthy amount.

but to someone like billy, who barely wandered from anything vanilla his entire life, it must seem like a lot. of course he would have questions.

“I’ve used everything at least once. either on myself or on someone else. why do you ask?”

“just was wondering. it seems like...”

“a lot?”

“yeah.”

steve rolled over onto his front and rested his head onto billy’s stomach. picking at loose lint on his shirt.

“would you ever want to try some of them out?”

billy moves a hand to start combing at steve’s hair.

“why would I want to do that when I already have the real thing?”

“It’s not entirely the same. especially if you’re doing it yourself. you’re more in control, also. my dick doesn’t vibrate.”

billy laughs a little.

“I don’t know. It seems a little daunting.”

“you’ll think about it?”

“maybe.”

maybe turns into “actually, yes you will” when a box finds its way into his hands before steve is scheduled to leave for a week away with his parents.

billy is honestly expecting something sweet. like chocolates or flowers because it’s steve. he ever so the romantic type.

he’s definitely not expecting to open the box and find not one, but two brand new dildos. he nearly drops the box to the floor.

there’s a little note inside.

“these ones are my favorite. think about me while I’m gone”

“p.s. use lots of lube ;)”

billy thinks it’s a joke at first. like a haha funny, billy’s going to be horny and alone for the next week. so he lets them sit in the box under his bed. unopened and untouched.

until night three rolls around and he is lying awake in bed, missing steve. and god damnit he’s curious. okay?

he pulls it out of the packaging and follows all the instructions on the box. cleaning it off in the sink and surely enough, “lots of lube” is in bold lettering. he inspects the thing for a solid five minutes. it’s not realistic looking. a bright red color, mostly smooth with little ribs up and down. it feels nice in his hand.

then he finds the power button, and he’s hard just feeling it in his hand. thinking about it.

he checks the lock on his door three times before getting naked and climbing into his bed. he starts by fingering himself open with a generous amount of lube, as he was instructed multiple times to do. look. he gets it.

after getting himself opened up a little, he turns the toy on and brings it to his hole, letting it sit there on the outside as it vibrates. just that alone has his head throwing back.

that’s definitely a new feeling.

he could honestly just keep it right there. It feel good enough. but fuck if he’d half assed anything.

gently he slips it in and he can feel the vibrations all the way to his ears. It’s absolutely glorious. the ribs adding a nice texture inside. attacking his nerves. he’s coming almost as soon as it fucking started.

he does it every night until steve comes home. keeping his promise. thinking of steve every single time.

when steve asks him about it, he gets all nervous. even though steve is the person who gave it to him. he’s nonchalant about it. says he tried it, doesn’t go into detail about how it was completely mind blowing.

but then steve is pestering him. saying how he’ll buy him more. maybe he just didn’t get him the right one. but billy saw the price tag on the two. so he comes clean.

tells steve, all nervous, how he came completely undone. how it was overwhelming but still very very good. tells him how he’d love it if steve would do it for him one day.

steve does it that day.

and eventually toys become very present in the bedroom. not all the time. sometimes they like to do things the old fashioned way. just them together, nothing bright and flashy getting in the way. but they still start their own collection. trying out new things steve brings home, deciding whether or not they liked it. beads are billy’s favorite. experimenting with new things neither of them have tried before.

and then steve takes billy with him to Indianapolis for the first time. takes him to the hole in the wall sex shop. and they all know steve by name. and billy feels so awkward, being in a place like this with Steve. with another guy. but he soon realizes that this might be the one place in the whole state that wouldn’t bat an eye at two men seen together. it’s a fucking sex shop. they’re all deviants.

and billy feels like a kid in a candy store. steve telling him to pick out anything he likes. he picks out a cock ring, some movies, and another vibrator to add to their collection. handing all of the items to steve with an aggressive blush on his cheeks.

“we gonna watch this together?” steve asks, holding up one of the tapes.

“if you want to.”

steve just smiles and puts it back into the basket. that’s a yes.

and they’re almost at the register when billy spots something that kind of takes his breath away. It’s probably the most tame thing in the entire store. but it’s the one thing he’s the most nervous to ask about.

and steve seems to notice his eyes darting back and forth to the item.

“you want that?”

it’s a dark green lace teddy.

steve’s voice is so soft when he asks. there’s no hint of mocking at all. not like billy would have expected.

billy just nods his head.

“what size?” steve asks. that’s the question right there. he’s not actually asking what size.

“large.” billy says shyly.

steve is a medium.

next part

[frenchibi]

I was tagged by @buckysbears ​ to do this fanfic writer tag game - thank you so much, and sorry it took me so long :’D

What’s your all-time favourite ship?

This is a great question, and I honestly don’t know how to answer it xD I for sure have written the most for IwaOi from Haikyuu, but I have big soft spots for EdWin from FMA and Sophie and Howl from Howl’s Moving Castle!

How many works do you have on AO3?

95! Several of these are collections though, with every chapter being an unrelated short fic or drabble. I have deleted some original things and older fics that were no longer relevant to my interests and that barely got any hits (and I also had like. Idk, 20-ish fics on ff.net before I stopped using it haha)

What’s your total AO3 word count?

376k (damn??)!

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

They’re all Haikyuu (big surprise lmao):

Fix Me - my longest HQ fic, and also one of my first!! It still makes me happy when people find it, even though I think I would probably write it differently if I were writing it today.

I know the sound of your heart – a spin the bottle/party fic with an inevitable collision – this one is a lot of fun, in my opinion!

here’s to taking what you came for – fake dating but not quite; this is one of my personal favorites so I’m really happy to see it up here!!

Burning heart - firefighter!Iwa AU! This one was fun to write and research, though in retrospect idk if I would write it the same way again, I feel I was quite flippant about some more serious topics? It’s not terrible, but it’s for sure not for everyone, I think. There is an actual house fire in this one.

Evidence - this baffles me tbh, it’s also one of my first ever Iwaoi fics (and probably why it’s all the way up here, it’s been around the longest) but it’s… in my opinion it’s not very well-written, it’s not even very long, it’s just a cute little concept that I wanted to get onto virtual paper and posted on a whim xD And then because people kept finding and liking it, I wrote two follow-up chapters hahah - but sometimes that’s how it goes, I guess!

Do you reply to comments, why or why not?

Yes, always! I love talking to people and making friends (and have made most of my fandom friends by connecting after commenting on their work and getting comments on mine)! Also it just gives me SO MUCH JOY to hear people’s thoughts. That’s the main draw for fanfic writing in general for me, connecting with people about characters we love!! Exchanging concepts, building AUs, just like… interacting in fandom spaces yknow???

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

I’m pretty sure it’s The Last Unicorn, an Iwaoi fic which contains major character death – not something I usually ever write, I am more partial to hurt/comfort or fluff ^^ I guess I was feeling particularly edgy that day. I don’t recommend revisiting it tbh?

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

Like… every other fic I’ve written hahaha (ok but for real)

Do you write crossovers?

Not currently or actively. I’ve had some ideas, but mostly they turn into “Franchise AU” things rather than actual crossovers (I’m honestly not really sure where the line of distinction is here anyway).

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Genuinely, no. I’ve received some comments that were… dissatisfied, but that was mostly on ff.net and they were usually outliers. Never any outright hate, at any rate.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I have written maybe… two (?) explicit fics that I’ve posted, but it’s not really what I gravitate towards. I’m not opposed to it, but usually I prefer to write fluff! And I’ve got a bunch of unposted drafts of things, who knows if I’ll ever finish them or post them if I do xD I don’t feel like that’s really entirely My Brand (not that I know what is sksksk).

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I am aware of.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, one of my fics was translated into Russian! There are also podfics for a couple of my fics :D

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes, many times! Most of those have not been finished though :’)

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Tbh the older the WIP, the less likely it is that I’ll return to it. Although I’ll never say never, sometimes all it takes for me to get excited about a fic again is for someone else to get excited and drag me along ^^ Generally though I would love to finish all my unfinished works. It bugs me that they’re unfinished xD

What are your writing strengths?

I think I’m quite good at writing dialogues and inner monologues. I like finding voices for characters, putting them in situations and seeing how they’ll react, that sort of stuff! I also am always excited to try new styles, patterns, narrative voices etc and I think that’s an asset :D

What are your writing weaknesses?

I struggle a lot with creating characters these days (that are not taken from other works, i.e. writing things that are not fanfic) because I am so used to fanfic writing? I’ve truly built up a deficit and really want to work on improving there (so if anyone has suggestions, I’m all ears!!!)

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Another super good question tbh!!! Generally I think it’s cool as long as it’s done well? As a bilingual person, it’s kind of painful to see… bad bilingual rep? But I wouldn’t go around policing anyone on how they’ve written things, idk, I do like to give people the benefit of the doubt (and offer to help if it seems like they might like some tips). And as a translator I am also not against just… explaining what words mean in author’s notes or footnotes tbh! At the end of the day you want your reader to understand what you’re writing, right??

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Genuinely the first thing I ever wrote was technically “fan fiction” for a children’s book series, Mercer Mayer’s “Little Critter”, when I was 5 years old (I wrote a story for my younger siblings, so we wouldn’t “always have to read the same books over and over” xD My mom saved it, and I have it now – a true relic!! I even made art to go with it and it’s TERRIBLE and I love it!!!)

But the first piece of writing that I posted was…huh. I’m actually not sure – Bleach, maybe? It was on ff.net under a different name lmao

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

This changes all the time but currently these are my faves:

Fix my head, it’s pouring at the seams for Polygon’s Cyberpunk Red ttrpg – I have a LOT of feelings about these characters and also about the poly ship, and the fandom is so small but it truly was a labor of love and I am SO PROUD OF IT (so if you want to, please read it, you don’t really need to know much before you go into it)

cause every time I run, I run to you for Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood (I just. love Ed and Winry so much. AAAA.)

You bring me home for Good Omens (it’s not my most popular fic, that’s a different one that got a load of notes here on tumblr of all places, but I still love it)

and these two Haikyuu/Iwaoi fics: can’t control the weather, which is an AU in which Oikawa has a daughter and she has magic and chaos ensues; and here’s to taking what you came for, see above, my subversion of the classic fake dating trope :D Both were such a BLAST to write!!!

((honorable mention to the Tiny!Oikawa fic in which Oikawa shrinks – I finished it relatively recently and am VERY happy with how it turned out, despite the significant time between chapters hahah))

These were super fun, but obviously no pressure: I tag @ricekrispyjoints, @antiiva, @imaginarydragonling, @astersandstuffs, and @rauchblauwrites!!

[withoneheadlight]

life has been a bit crazy for me so I haven’t been around but I’m glad to see that the upside down kiss fic is circulating back around bc it lives rent free in my mind constantly and I am whORE KNEE 😩

nsfw! anon

(I hope you’ve seen well I miss u :((( )

NSFW!ANON I'M SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU I MISS YOUUUUUU!!!!! Holy shit this is the nicest surprise!!!!!! 💖💖💖🌟💖🌟💖🌟💖🌟💖 Wish your life were at least a bit less crazy :(. Mine's been a bit crazy too. Weird and busy. Haven't been letting me much time for fandom and i miss it so, SO FUCKING much. 

And <3<3<3, haha yep! i’ve got a soft spot for that fic too bc i had so much fun writing it, and it’s even funnier on my mind idk xD. i’m so happy people likes it. Those gifs are like a harringrove inspiration charm i swear! Maybe you’ve already seen it but @warheadache added this amazing ar to it and 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉.

also!! i know it doesn’t look like it but i’ve got a couple things for you on the works and i’m closer to finish them!! at my snail pace but yk, 

a few excerpts bc i want to give them to you so baaaaaadddDDDDDD:

(I'm sure you'll recognize the working titles :P)

| n s f w ahead |

~

| boots |

And it’s been more than three years. More than three years of holes on his body and holes on his veins and stitches and tubes and pills and pain under every scar and unsteady steps and pulling together a pile of dirty rubble. More than one of Steve, Steve, Steve. Of coming back in busts and flickers. Enough gasoline left to light a spark. Too empty still to start a fire.

Except―

He’s going through his old stuff, one day. Cold outside. Late January. Chill fogging the windows. Daylight pouring to the edges of the sky like red-hot steel on the other side.

Billy’s on the floor. The contents of the two plastic bags collecting dust at the bottom of his closet since he moved in here now scattered all around. Cassettes and crumpled papers and tampered books and stupid memorabilia and. His old tight jeans. His leather jackets. His light-blue denim one, with the blood-red goodbye kiss of somebody whose cheek he remembers touching, whose face he can’t remember anymore.

And Billy doesn’t hear him coming, but one moment he’s not, the next Steve’s crouching by his side, leaning against him, too lightly for it to be in need of balance.

“God, Hargrove” he huffs, picks Billy’s favorite shirt out of the pile “Am I remembering this one right?”

Billy bites in a smile. Swallows down some bitterness.

“You are”

Steve nods, mouth twisting into a grin, a brow rising. Glances down at what Billy’s holding (on to) between his hands.

“And oooh. Those boots”

Still dirty. More dark brownish than black. One of the few things he got back from the hospital. His pendant being the only one he ever put back on.

“Yeah”

“Thinking ‘bout using any of these again?” Steve gives the shirt a light shake, the dark-red fabric dragging on the wooden floor.

Last time Billy wore it, he burned hole in it. A stray ember fell from his joint, right under the left pocket. Tiny enough to pass mostly unseen but―

For a closer look, it was ruined.

Two days later, the Mind-Flyer dragged him into the basement of Brimborn Steel Works.

Billy digs his fingers into the dry leather before they can start shaking.

“I don’t―” Takes in a big gulp of air “―know. Don’t know if they’ll fit anymore” It feels like nothing.

Because, he doesn’t mean only his body. Means it all. Because he’s alivealivealive, like some kind of inevitability. Alive like a form of inertia.

Alive because that’s all he had left. Got’s left. The only thing he could. Can. Do.

But,

But

“Uhmm” Steve exhales. Looks right into his eyes and it feels like he’s looking deeper. And it’s not the first time, not the first time Billy wonders, how much he knows, and how he knows it. Wonders what he might be seeing, what his instinct might be saying for him to―lower down his voice, eat away almost every single one of the scarce millimeters keeping their mouths from touching “Maybe the boots, then” his hair tickling Billy as it falls over his forehead, the feeling of it so intimate it seems illicit “Only, the boots”.

And those words. Those words. Taste like gasoline on Billy’s mouth, make the flame almost catch. Hot. As they feel over the rabbiting pulse of his jugular. Ad there shouldn’t be any empty space left between them when Steve moves even closer, his lips brushing a path of raw tenderness over Billy’s cheek, trailing sideways, air turning flammable and unstable, unbreathable when he says, “You’d look―” Voice hoarse. Shaky. Breath warm down the curve of Billy’s neck. Fingertips burning as a branding mark over his solar plexus “Hot as fuck”

Trading a grenade for Billy’s fast-beating heart.

And then― he’s getting up. Going away. Closing the door behind him. Leaving Billy one pull away from the detonation.

And Billy.

It’s been more than year since he moved. More than a year of SteveSteveSteve. Of coming back in busts and flickers. Enough gasoline left to light a spark. Too empty still to start a fire.

But Billy wants it, this kind of inevitability. Not inertia. No survival. Not that something living doesn’t really feels like. He wants Steve to release that bomb he just dropped inside of his body. Left Billy unmade. Shape him back together with his own two hands.

So he gets up. Wired-up and breathless. Anticipation beading on the surface of his skin. Thinks about of all those times alive felt like something reachable. That almost-touch sensation. Static singing on his fingertips: loving arms closing around his ocean-cold skin. The rumbling of the sea caught up on the shell of his ribcage. Max's crazy laugh like a hammer to his bones. The Camaro cooking the soles of his feet, speed making his head spin through a wormhole and out into the infinite. His knuckles cracking against the skin of another, finding bone. The metallic tang of blood flooding down the back of his tongue.

Love and fire and rage and―

He takes all his clothes off. They don’t feel like they fit, either. Socks. Sweats. Hoodie. T-Shirt. Takes a deep breath when the pendant bumps against the naked skin of his chest.

Puts his boots on.

Does the only thing he’s ever known.

“Steve!” he shouts. Pulse spiking up fast. Trying to beat a way out of his body “Can you come back in here?”

Skyrocketing, when Steve shouts back.

“Going!”

And then is the door clicking open. Billy’s lungs freezing in the middle of a breath. Steve’s eyes looking almost black as they catch the shadows. Sun falling down the reality of the other side.

And in a darkness like that, it’s only them what remains. Them, and the way they are looking at each other.

And Billy feels alive. Like falling. Feet slippin’ on the razor’s edge.

"Billy" breathes out Steve. Shoulder perched on the frame. Fingers tightening around the handle "Fuck, Billy I―"

“Yeah?”

Alive. Like a form of gravity when―

Steve comes forward. To him. Careful. Careful. Footsteps creaking on the wooden floor. Lashes falling down as his eyes drift. Swallows. Comes closer and closer still.

And then.

Their chest are brushing and their hands are almost touching and it's not even an inch but Billy has to look up even with his stupid boots on and,

“You said―”

Steve breathes in. Cuts Billy’s breath off his lungs.

Between them, there’s no room for anything that’s not the way they’re not touching.

“I know what I said”

The air, sparks, sizzles, becomes the memory of a thunderstorm and. The tips of Steve’s fingers make his hairs stand on end. High voltage. Spark over the inside of his wrist. The faded blue of his veins. And Billy shivers. Feels like that second of stasis before the rupture. Static calm and then― the ocean breaks.

And then Steve says,

“I wanna see it. That fire in you” and his fingers tickle across the hidden tenderness on the inside Billy’s elbow. Nails grazing their way up to his shoulder, detouring to contour the crest of his clavicle, slide down the trough, spreading as they follow the shape of Billy’s neck, thumb fitting into the corner of his lips and “C’mon.” smiling, smiling. Eyes creasing at the sides, lashes catching the few last strings of light. Wicked and sweet and devastating “Show me who’s that Billy Hargrove everybody's been telling me so much about”

~

| stick | tw: object insertion |

It’s thrilling, this secret, depraved game they play. Feels like it's forbidden. Leaves a sweet, honey-thick aftertaste.

And Billy is so. So curious. Can’t stop asking Steve to tell him “How it feels babe. I want to know how good it feels. God you look like it's hitting you just right” and Steve tells him. Steve fucks himself down into whatever thing Billy is holding for him, never touching himself until he’s almost there, wanting to ride that sole sensation right up until the very end. Shivering. Shaking. Breaking a sweat. The words coming ragged out of his open mouth. “Cold��� or “Weird” or “Like. Too much–ah. Too much” and “Soft, God, Billy so soft” and–

“Why don’t you try it yourself?”

And Billy its so, so curious.

Billy does.

Rails himself for Steve to watch, slicked up with lube and dripping. With a rolling pin. A cucumber. Almost a whole box of wooden colored pencils, stuffed inside his ass one by one. With “ohgodgodgod”  the handle of Steve’s fucking nailed bat. Lets Steve holds whatever thing he chooses for him “C’mon, babe. C’mon. Treat it good. Swallow it as deep as you can. Take it like you would take my cock”

And life in Hawkins gets boring after the first, second, fourth, seventh yearly round. Steve takes that office work. Billy gets a permanent spot in the garage. If he gets real lucky, somebody takes him an interesting car from time to time. But sometimes Steve looks at Billy with dark, liquid eyes. Says “Ok enough”. His voice harsh. Rasped. Losing balance at the edge of what he’s able to restrain himself. Sounding as if he’s jealous of those things jamming the insides if Billy’s ass. Takes out Billy’s been writhing around. Fucks him hard. Fuck him deep. Fucks him so good there are tears in Billy’s eyes by the time he comes. Fallen apart and sobbing.

&

Steve’s driving. One hand on the wheel. One hand on the shift. The cool air of the night coming in shorts through the rolled-down window. On the radio, Ted Nugent’s making his guitar whine, the strings arching into the touch of his fingertips, asking for more more more, ‘Here I come again now baby. Like a dog in heat’

Steve’s long fingers flex over the knob, winter-cold white under reddened knuckles. He shifts from third to fourth with a smooth press and lets go of the clutch, and the Camaro sighs, settles. Steve makes her calm. Steve tames her. Where Billy makes her growl and kick Steve drives her like a lover, whispers to her with all his body I’m gonna fuck you so slow. We got all night, baby. Steve treats her right. Runs those fingers up and down the metallic rod of the shift and Billy gets hard. One second from zero to sixty.

His cock pulses, pulses. Fills up whole. The sudden rush of heat traveling up, up. Presses against the walls of his throat. Billy wants to feel the head of Steve’s cock against his bell. Wants Steve to make him choke on him.

Steve brakes. Clutches. Reduces. The Camaro moans, needy. Steve soothes her, caresses it with a soft brush of his thumb along the speed patter Shh, baby sshhh. Just hold a little bit longer. I promise I will let you come.

Billy feels himself twitch, spit out precum. The inside of his pants feels damp, appetizing. He lets his hips slide, rock.

The knob is real leather. Silver pattern ingrained over black. Seams carefully sew out on the surface as a touch of style.

Billy replaced it a few months ago, the old one too damaged by use. Worn out.

This one curves slightly forward.

It would hit just right.

Steve's eyes are alight, framed in the light reflected from the rearview mirror, a dramatic take out of an old Noir.

Except the brown shines full color. Alive.

Billy puts his hand over Steve’s on the knob, spreads his fingers around his.

Grips him hard.

“Hey, babe. Have you ever thought about it?”

“Mmm? About what?”

“About riding my car”

Steve huffs. Chuckles.

“I am driving your car”

“Yeah” Billy caresses the side of Steve’s hand with his thumb, a lagged reflection of his gesture. Thinks about how pretty Steve’s lips would look around that leather, mouth open wide “Don’t mean it like that”

&

Billy has to take a deep, shaky breath, thinking it's a miracle they ever get as far as they plan, that Steve Harrington's mere existence doesn't make him come just by looking at him.

Not all their games get to the finish line. But this, God, Billy wants this one to.

"Ah-ah" he shakes his head, smirks, keeps the stakes high "But if you hop on I'll let you eat my mouth"

“Mmmm. I don’t know”

Steve twists his lips, considering, looks like he’s willing to take his sweet time deciding, staying just like this, idly rocking on his lap, keeping Billy hooked in this scarce feeling, this almost kissing between their cocks.

And Billy––Uff. Billy it’s too revved-up, can’t take it any fucking second more.

Grabs Steve’s asscheeks. Lifts him up.

“Billy what the—ohfuck” It doesn't go in. ‘Course it doesn’t. When Billy lets Steve’s weight drop just a slight bit. It bumps. Slips. Wet and obscene. Rips a breathless thing of a sound out of his throat. But then Steve’s arms wrap around his neck. Bracing himself so Billy can take a hold of it, line himself up. And then yeah yeah. He barely has to rub the head against Steve’s slippery hole and his cock slides in. Eaaasy. All the way. Into Steve’s warmth. Tight. Tight. Tight. And–

“Ohfuck. OhfuckOh”

The air coming in from the window is cool, bristling, but it feels like nothing when Steve lets out a chocked cry. Fucks himself. Fast. Rough. Face buried into the crook of Billy’s neck. Breath blooming hot, hot. Teeth on his pulse.

“Shhhh, baby, shhh” Billy takes his face between his hands, pushes him carefully backwards. Waits ‘till Steve’s eyes slowly find focus on his, still rocking, still― “Hey. You gotta stop. You hear me?” Steve takes a deep breath, exhales long and shaky. It takes all of him to slow down, Billy knows, but he does. Thighs twitching. Cock weeping. Smearing over Billy’s belly where his t-shit has hitched up.

Billy brushes his hair back from his forehead. Tangled and damp and gorgeous.

Kisses him light and sweet.

“We’re close, baby. We’re really, really close. But you gotta stop so I can open you up real good ok?”

Steve nods, eyes glossy, lips bitten and Billy feels overwhelmed, feels like burning under the hard sun. They’re both hanging by the thinnest of threads, Billy can feel it, can see it in the blown-out dark of Steve’s eyes. They’re riding pleasure at point break, time holding its breath for them. This is his favorite part of the game. A little too much, just a little too much. ‘Till one of them loses it. ‘Till one of them melts on the other’s hands. Hard and thick.

And God, Billy has never been one not to push his luck.

He takes two fingers up to Steve’s lips, runs the tips over the tender skin inside. Thinks about how they don’t look bitten enough, swollen enough. About how he’s gonna have to fix that.

“I’m gonna put these two inside. Will you get them ready for me?” Steve’s Smile twitches up, canines showing. It’s a two-men-con. But they play as much against the other as they play together. So Steve swallows both fingers. All the way in one go. Eyes falling shut. Eats them wet and messy. Deepthroats. Rumbles. Ass clenching, pulsing around Billy’s cock. And Billy is only a short breath of self-control away from spending himself inside him like a fucking rookie.

It’s boring, small-town life, really. Except–

“Good boy,” he says, making his fingers pop out of Steve’s mouth, satisfaction tastier than honey at the mean glare it grants him. But it softens, that glare, Steve’s eyelids flutter, open-mouthed and blissed, when Billy brushes the head of his cock with his knuckles, haft teasing, half relieving, keeping Steve in the tightrope with him.

“I’m getting a bit impatient in here, Hargrove” he says, only managing to make his voice sound half annoyed about it. Bit Billy is too, impatient. So drags his fingers down, pads tracing the taut shape of Steve’s cock, his balls, and down. Presses. Softly. Rubs the stretched-out flesh of his hole. Dips just the tips. Press. Press. And–

“AhfuckBilly–Ah.Mmmmh”

It’s tight. Steve’s ass clenches around him, squeezes him in. It’s a heady feeling, having him like this, senses overrunning. He’s intoxicated. High on the painful scratch of Steve’s nails when he grabs his jaw to kiss him open-mouthed and harsh. The helpless way he chokes off a sob when Billy makes his fingers curl, rubs him good and,

“I’m ready, Billy. I’m ready. BillyBillyplease. I can’t take it anymore. Please, baby. I’m ready” he’s gasping, breathless, barely taking in the heated up air they share.

“Hey. C’mon. C’mon. Just a little more, ok?. A little more and I’ll let you swallow it all in. That knob. All the way down your ass. No space left for anything else" he licks the words all along Steve’s neck, his ear. Rubs his lips over the damp roots of his hair. Cock pushing. Fingers working. When Steve sits on the stick. Billy wants him right over the edge “Gonna cum so hard you’re gonna be begging me to let you ride her again”

~

yup! hope you like them! i really really REALLY want to finish them for you.

Fingers crossed I get to see you again soon my dear nsfw!anon 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

[robynlilyblack]

I'm sorry about how many I've asked 😂

3. Trope that makes you cringe?

7. Do you ever request fanfic from others?do you request anonymously?

23. Do you enjoy getting feedback?

30 which character do you find easiest/hardest to write?

43 how many drafts do you usually do before you finalize a fic?

45 do you wish your followers interacted with you more?

61 what is something you wish you could say to your favorite character?

🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼

No worries love thank you 💛

3. In Harry potter ones I think the love potion made them cheat, i get it but it makes me feel a bit weird. In general fanfics (usually long haul ones) i know there needs to be some drama after the characters get together but the introducing a brand new character just for jealousy? Like i’d prefer fluffy domestic stuff like them arguing about dishes or work or something but thats just me being a softie for the real stuff 😅

7. Yes I have, I’ve done it both anonymously (pre writting and when i first started this blog) and as myself, at present I now just send in things as me since i’m more confident x

23. YES! Love it when i see someone comment, especially little quotes from my diaologe or specific scenes just makes my whole day 💕 I also don’t mind if people give me advice or if i got something wrong, it helps me improve x

30. Freddie and Sirius come very natural to me (which is ironic as they are the loudest and imma shy hermit) x Remus and Draco i defo need to be in the mood to write as i go through phases with them. Other characters that are like side charaters in fics, James and Marlene aww i love them to bits! Alex and Amos from bookshop girl also very easy. I’d probs say maybe ginny, ron, mione etc are the hardest to write because i’ve written marauders era so much...hint hint send me golden era stuff hehe (but also love writing marauders so please son’t stop those either haha)

43. So i have the base plan (all bullet pointed), then it depends on my mood whether i write detailed from the start (this happens when i’m most inspried) or i write rough, mostly dialogue. Anyway it’s probably one draft and then i go through it adding in little deatials sometimes even an extra scene before going away to sleep or eat before giving it one last read through and then post. So probs 1-2 for requests and maybe 3-4 with my own series and oneshots

45. Sometimes? I feel like everyone craves it but i favourite thing is seeing the same people popping up on my activity, or when i see someone like a fic then proceed to go down one of my masterlists just gives me so much serotonin. Only thing i’ll never say no to is comments even if its just a quote you liked it helps me figure out what dialogue people like and if i’m writing the characters well x

61. Wish you were real haha, honestly i’s probably thank them for being a constant in my life, being something no one can ever take from me and giving me just sheer unadulterated happiness 💛

[keithsguitar]

tldr: I will be taking a 21 day hiatus and why, if you care.

This is part of a fast I am doing from social media to 1) refocus my life on God and 2) to be my own person—not the Internet’s bitch.

I love what Matthew 6:16-18 says; I do not mean to come across as boastful about a fast at all, but I want to give an explanation of sorts. I know not everyone is religious so it’ll be mostly about the negative aspects social media can have on us.

1. Idolatry

Social media has potential to be literal venom. Here on tumblr, idolatry is a serious thing. I see an opportunity to put on the brakes, and I want to trust my gut.

I saw Keith live twice this month and I realized how much I love liking him for what he is: a guy who plays guitar. He’s a kick ass player and is a significant figure in rock music. He’s nothing more than that to me and I don’t want him to.

Sometimes I do feel myself stepping on the line between liking his work and him generally and being those people who make me cringe. I love being dramatic and goofy in the tags of course and always, but yeah, I never ever ever ever want to like a celebrity for more than the random person they are.

I see people creating their own personas of celebrities and becoming attached to these their versions of strangers. Spending more time thinking about them, talking about them than they do with their family, friends, and community. More time online than doing things in real life of their own creation. And it’s just scary.

2. Nurturing your actual interests

I asked myself why I even had a Stones and Beatles account. BC I LOVE MUSIC. i love love music. Country, blues, rock are just etched on my heart. But what serves my passions more? Practicing my guitar, playing with others, playing for others, becoming more knowledgeable on it? Bc tumblr isn’t that. Tumblr is feeding an obsession with celebrities.

Social media is a slippery slope. You start bc you think it’s a way to connect with friends, people who like what you do, etc. And it can be. But it’s not. Maybe some peoples passion is more akin to being like a historian for a certain person or people or whatever. But it’s not mine. And I just don’t feel tumblr serves a purpose in my passions it’s just a magnet to create and feed obsessions i don’t even want to have.

3. People

I have met a couple of mutuals who I love interacting/talking to and will be counting down to days to talk to them again!! I really like the community I’ve seen through my blog and getting to chat about things we have in common. BUT (bc there is always one with me)

I just sadly have grown tired of the some aspects of the stones fandom here as well. A few accounts are more obsessed and honestly tragically, utterly attached to the versions of keith, mick, ronnie, and charlie they’ve created in their heads for their entertainment out of idk loneliness/boredom??? than being people who are interested them for the people they are and their work. And it’s just like so weird and exhausting to scroll past the nonsense every time I open tumblr.

For example, yes I love making jokes: mick and Keith are married haha. BUT THATS IT. i can’t get over how weird and gross it is to me that people legitimately force these sexualities on them and make them (especially keith and mick) characters of their own perversions through insinuations or fan fiction or art or whatever. Like i just imagine what they would say if they ever saw what people say about them here. They would hate it…. It’s literally so weird like how are we so brainwashed we think it’s ok??????

Another way people become fascinated with identities they create for other people is the “charlie hates everyone and he wants to leave” caption under every single one of his pictures bc God forbid he just was more serious is nature. That joke is funny once or twice but now it’s his trademark and brand on tumblr when those people couldn’t tell you anything meaningful or useful about his drumming style or anything really substantial. Stuff like that makes me think like huh…. What am I even doing here..? It’s like the same couple stories from each person get passed on and it’s like…. I’m not trying to do what a lot of the fandom is trying to do or what gets the most attention…. Idk if this part is making sense to anyone lol

4. Conclusion

Obviously it’s gotten to a point where I’m a bit over saturated. I knew I was not gonna have tumblr forever bc I was gonna grow out of it when I was older.

Now feels like a good time to reflect on why I’m even doing this because I think I’ve gotten to that point. Maybe after 21 days I’ll be in a better headspace to monitor my own use. We’ll see.

I debated sharing this bc I don’t want to come off as negative or hateful at all, but I want to acknowledge my feelings. And maybe some of y’all are feeling the toxicity of the internet and now y’all know you’re not alone. That it is ok to take a break if y’all want!

Thank y’all for anyone who read this. Real Gs ❤️

[loversarcanas]

Midnight Romeo Ch. 1

Series: The Owl House Pairing: Beta!Luz/Beta!Amity

Luz Noceda finds herself frequenting night clubs to cope with her loneliness. She never expects to find anyone, really, until she’s forced to save a pretty girl from a nasty creep harassing her. Please support the original on Ao3! (trigger warnings for alcohol consumption and minor sexual harassment)

12:35am. The flashing lights and blaring dubstep over massive stereo systems was enough to overwhelm anyone, especially Luz Noceda. She wasn’t really even sure why she kept coming here. For drinks? People-watching? Moping, hoping for a stranger to reach out a hand to her and make a connection? Probably all of the above. Yet, despite how agonizingly crowded the place was and how much it reeked of Mary Jane and sweat, she sat alone at the bar, sipping on her second glass of whiskey and watching wasted hornballs grind on each other.     Luz was a pretty lonely person. She didn’t really have friends to spend time with, her mom worked hectic nights at the hospital to the point where they barely saw each other, and she had nothing but shitty breakups with shitty partners who left her feeling more and more closed up. Nobody could envy her right now. Any last shreds of hope that some gorgeous, charming person would approach her and suavely sweep her off her feet, were stomped on by her own cynicism. After all, who would want her ? Slumped over the bar in an unwashed army jacket, uncombed hair and beanie, probably reeking of booze. Hah, yeah. A real catch, huh.     Her self-deprecating thoughts were interrupted, however, when a shorter, punky looking girl ran up to her and wrapped arms around her. “Oh my god, hiii! I haven’t seen you in so long , babe!” came a peppy, raspy voice from the girl. Luz froze, completely shocked and incredibly confused at just what was happening right now. As well as a little bit flustered, because this girl was very pretty. Before she had a chance to speak, however, the mysterious girl whispered in her ear “ Just go with it, creepy guy behind me ”. Ah.     Luz’s demeanor changed in a heartbeat, cracking a smile and hugging the girl back. “Hey! What are you doing here? It’s been ages!” Pulling away from the hug, she looked passed the girl’s green-dyed hair to see a seething man walking directly towards them. “Hey Amity, who’s this girl? Some friend of yours?” He asked through a fake, gritted smile. Oh, Luz could feel the rotten vibes emanating from him. “Yeah, the name’s Luz. Amity here is one of my friends from college. May I ask who you are?”

The strange man crossed his arms, a smug grin crossing his face. “Yeah, I’m her man of the night. And we’ll be going now, actually.” Venom dripped from each of his words as he tried to grab at Amity’s wrist. The shorter girl struggled and mumbled “Let go” as she tried to pull away, and a new flame entered Luz’s gaze. She stood up and towered half a head over the man, staring at him with an intense anger, reaching into her jacket pocket for her switchblade.     “I don’t think she wants to go with you. Now let her go, or I’ll slice that hand clean off your wrist.” Luz scowled, flipping the blade open. The man visibly flinched, but stood his ground for a few moments more before finally letting go. “Whatever, fucking cunt. She’s an ugly bitch anyway.” He mumbled as he walked back into the crowd. Luz closed her switchblade and looked back down at the green haired girl, who was now rubbing the spot where her wrist had been so roughly grabbed.     Amity looked up at the taller girl in appreciation. “Thanks, uh.. You said your name was Luz? Thank you. I swear to god, men don’t know how to take fucking ‘no’ for an answer.” Luz sighed, and patted her shoulder. “Yeah, guys can be real creeps sometimes, especially at places like this. I’m just glad he didn’t do worse to you. Are you okay?” Amity grumbled, and hopped up on a bar chair next to the taller girl. “Well, not really. My friends bailed on me and I’ve been trying to ward off these dipshit guys all night. I don’t see how anyone enjoys these places.”     Luz stifled a chuckle. “Yeah, I hear ya. But if you hate it so much, why are you here?” Amity let out a heavy sigh. “I came because my friends asked me to. This isn’t usually my deal, but they were insistent. Then they had the gall to fucking leave me here alone. Assholes.” She mumbled, laying her head on the counter. “They don’t really sound like friends if they’re just gonna leave you here.” Luz offered. Amity noticeably shrank when she said that. “Yeah, well, they’re kinda my only option as far as friends go… And they were my ride here too, hah .” She laughed bitterly.     The two of them were silent for a few moments, only being enveloped in the sound of the music over loudspeakers. At one point, the bartender asked if Amity wanted a drink. She lifted her head and ordered a long island iced tea, much to Luz’s surprise. When asked if she wanted a refill on her whiskey, Luz declined, and turned back to Amity. “So, you don’t have a ride home then?” Amity shook her head. “It’s probably fine. I’ll just grab an Uber, or beg one of my siblings to pick me up, haha.” Her laugh was tired, and her eyes looked tired as well.

  While Amity silently drank, Luz watched her - taking in her appearance. Her eyes were sharp and golden, with thick, black, winged eyeliner and smokey eyeshadow. Her nose was long and pierced through the septum. Her lips were thin, covered in black lipstick and adorned with black metal snake bites. Her hair was messy, tousled and long, reaching halfway down her back. Her ears were covered in black piercings, and she wore a fitted band tee and a pink plaid miniskirt. Truly, this girl was stunning. Luz couldn’t help but wonder if this was the princess charming she had so long been wishing for-     ‘Ugh, don’t be stupid’ She thought to herself, and quickly stamped out the idea. Her main concern should be how to get this girl home, anyways. Her friends left her, she’s apparently been dealing with sexual harassment all night, and she’s probably going to be wasted on long island teas before she leaves. “So… Are you gonna text your sibs for a ride?” Amity finished the remains of her glass before slamming it back down on the table. “Yeah I guess I should, probably. They’ll probably make fun of me for getting so wasted, but it’s fine, whatever.” She took out her phone and started quickly typing a message with her thumbs, before setting it down on the bar. She called the bartender back over to order another tea, then slumped back on the counter. “Uh, you sure another one is a good idea chica ? Especially after the night you’ve had?”     The green-haired girl rolled her head to look at Luz, with a dead stare. “While I appreciate your concern, I kinda don’t care right now.” Her phone buzzed and she picked it up to look at the new text, before slapping it back down with a loud groan. “UGH, of COURSE they’re too busy to pick me up. Fuckin great.” Luz bit her lip, wondering what the next step should be. I mean, she barely met this girl, But after the night she’d had, she didn’t want to risk this Amity girl having another run off with a creepy guy. And she knew from experience that Ubers and Lyfts weren’t always the safest to ride in as a drunk girl.     “Hey… Uh, do you need me to give you a ride home then? I really don’t mind.” She waited in silence for a moment, while Amity turned to look at her. “I’m fine, I’ll be fine. Just need to order an Uber, it’s fine..” She trailed off, pulling up the app on her phone. “Listen, I really don’t mind driving you. I’ve had some… not so fun experiences riding drunk in an Uber. They don’t do background checks on those guys, and especially since you’ve been through so much from creeps tonight...” Luz trailed off. Amity let out a huge sigh. “...Okay, fine. But you better not try anything weird either. I can and will fuck you up, or break your car window open.” Luz internally breathed a sigh of relief. She definitely understood not trusting a stranger to drive her home, but she didn’t want this girl to go through worse than she had already experienced tonight.

  -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------     1:21am. They walked out of the bar, Luz had mostly sobered up, and supported the shorter girl so she didn’t stumble or trip on the way to her car. Luz’s car wasn’t anything special - it was an old 2002 Honda Accord, silver and a little beat up, but she was sure to keep it clean and in functioning shape. She opened the passenger door for amity with a polite gesture, and made sure she was all the way in before shutting the door and returning to the driver’s side.

  “Wow, your car is old.” Amity said bluntly. Luz laughed. “Yeah? Your point? I still keep her running like a dream. Why? Are you not used to old bangups?” Amity crossed her arms, embarrassed. “Well, my parents are all about having the newest thing. They all got brand new shit at home, fancy imported cars and that shit. They got me a brand new Maserati for my birthday this year. So yeah, I’m not used to ‘old bangups’ I guess.” She looked out the window while Luz started up the engine, and popped in a CD. The music started playing on low, Amity tuning in to the song that was playing.

‘You’re the beach on Christmas Eve,’

      ‘Wrong place, good time, consistently’

          ‘I feel like a walking love song’

      ‘When you do me like that, can you tell my brain turns off’ It seemed to fit the atmosphere pretty well, actually. Luz rolled down the window and let her arm hang out, bringing a much-needed cool breeze into the car. Amity could feel herself nodding off, despite trying to fight it. ‘This girl, Luz… can I really trust her? I mean, she seems really cool, and it’s nice of her to drive me home, but… ‘ Amity’s thoughts ran slowly through her head. She raised her head to look over at the girl in the driver’s seat. She really did have a cool aura about her. The army jacket and baggy cargo pants, while normally not Amity’s style, seemed to fit the girl. Her messy hair, red beanie, adorned with a pin Amity couldn’t see in the dark. She noticed Luz was singing along to the song under her breath. It was kind of cute, actually.     ‘From 7-11s to California Heavens’

      ‘I try to hide with my words, but you just find me clever’

            ‘I found a million places, you’d be worth the chases’

        ‘To go-oh-oh’

  Finally, they pull into a long driveway, protected by overbearing steel gates. Luz stopped the car, and looked up at the massive home behind them. “You live here , Amity? Damn, are you just rich as shit or something?” Amity sighed, clicked off her seatbelt and opened the door. “My family is rich as shit, yes. I try not to think about it.” Luz unblocked her seatbelt and rose to get out of the car, making sure Amity could get in alright. “Oh, wait! Here, hang on a second.” She said, running back to her car to grab something.

  Amity stood before the gates for only a few seconds, before Luz came back with a scrap of paper. “Listen, not that you’ll need it, but…” She looked embarrassed, rubbing the nape of her neck anxiously. “If your friends ever bail on you again or you need to get rid of any more creeps, here’s my number.” Luz handed the scrap to Amity, before shoving both hands in her jacket pockets. Amity looked down at the paper, then back up to Luz, with a smile. “Heh, thanks Luz… Maybe I’ll take you up on that. Amity brushed a piece of hair behind her ear, and turned toward the gates to her house. “Oh, and… Thank you for all your help tonight. Usually people aren’t so kind.” Those words were her last before opening the gates and walking inside.

Luz slumped back into her car, waiting until the girl was fully inside her house before buckling up and starting up the engine. ‘Well, that’s certainly not how I thought my night would go.’ She felt a buzz in her pocket, and pulled out her phone to find a new message from an unknown number. xxx-xxx-xxxx: Hey, this is Amity. Thanks again for tonight.     Luz smiled, and quickly registered the girl in her contacts. As she backed out of the manor driveway, she felt a lightness in her chest that she hadn’t felt in a long time. Maybe going out to clubs wasn't all that bad.

[redxblueihateloveyou]

I love your amv videos! Where do you get your ideas, and how do you know which clibs or songs to use? Also if your looking for a song to use in your next amv, you should use this song: kiss the boy by keiynan lonsdale

thank you so much <3 I don't even know... I think most of the times it's either I watch something new, I like some ship and want to vid them and think "oh I know the perfect song for them" or I sometimes listen to some song and it suddenly reminds me of one of my ships haha

as for the scenes, I just like when they fit the words of the song, so I mostly roll from there, sometimes I have some plot in my mind, then I go for a story instead, but still see that the overall song message fits the theme. when it comes to manips, I just notice when I rewatch sometimes stuff like "oh, if you combine this with that, it has a potential to become a brand new thing" lmao

like I've wanted to use the Yakusoku scene of Rin smiling at himself about loving Haru for a while now, so I was like "hmmmm...", then it just hangs in the back of my mind until my brain gives birth on its own one day xD

I'll listen to the song, thank u:) but honestly I don't have any problems with finding any, bc I have a list of like 47 (i think?) upcoming vids on my phone planned for real xD I'm just slow

[violetwolfraven]

Elmer headcanons?

Ok!

He’s canonly the youngest of 9 so like. Damn. I only have one sibling and I can’t imagine how much that would suck.

I imagine him having 4 brothers and 4 sisters so El was the tie breaker.

After him his parents go yeah we’re done.

As far as I know Elmer’s siblings don’t have canon names so it goes like this (in 1885) Elmer (0), Hope (1), Adam (3), Jarek (5), Ada (7), Hubert (8), Karina (9) Filip (10), and Irena (13).

Anyway Hope is only a year older so Elmer isn’t even of the baby of the family by that much.

So by the time he’s like 6 he doesn’t get much attention anymore. Everyone’s more interested in his oldest few siblings getting their first jobs and Irena and Filip getting their first partners.

When he was really young, Elmer always tried to play with Adam and Jarek, but they already had each other as playmates, so they excluded him a lot.

And of course Hope finds it annoying when he sticks to her (like glue haha) so she lashes out.

Hubert, Karina, Filip, and Irena are so much older that they just don’t have anything in common or any time for him.

So Elmer gets used to fading into the background because Ada is the only one who ever pays attention to him and even then she’s enough older that they can’t have much in common.

In modern AU he meets the others in about 6th grade.

In canon era he meets them when he’s 9 (3 years younger than Jack) after Irena gets married and the family needs to send another kid to work to make up for losing her factory income.

Either way Elmer is kinda just... baffled by all this attention and affection he’s getting suddenly.

Like his friends roughhouse and joke around and sometimes jokes are at his expense but it’s never in a meanspirited way.

They listen when he talks and actively choose to be around him and in general just notice he’s there and he’s... never had that before.

Elmer is super touch-starved and once his friends figure that out they’re all eager to give him all the hugs he wants.

In both eras, it’s Jack who first notices that he has dyslexia and assures him that he’s not stupid, it’s just that reading is harder for him than most people.

In modern era since there’s a word for it there he gets tested and diagnosed and all that but in canon era for the most part Jack or Race just read the headlines out loud every morning to help.

In canon era Jack, Race, Buttons, and later Davey are the only ones who know.

Speaking of Buttons...

In canon era, he shows up when he and Elmer are 10.

They hit it off immediately because they have something in common the other kids don’t; they both still have families and multiple siblings.

The two of them start staying at the Lodging House most nights to escape the craziness of their families at age 12.

Elmer is a little clumsy, so Buttons often ends up patching up torn clothes.

And sometimes more than clothes which is totally not because Elmer keeps standing up for those no one else will stand up for.

In all seriousness Elmer is 500% ready to throw hands for literally any random stranger who needs his help, and also horses, cats, dogs, and one time a cow.

Buttons is pretty sure he’s got a death wish because he’s had to figure out real fast how to patch up wounds from broken bottles, wooden boards, and crowbars, among other things.

He angrily lectures Elmer to be more careful more than once and basically cue Elmer all like hot damn.

Something about Buttons’s fierce brand of kindness... he gets stuck on that. He needs to be near him.

He doesn’t realize he’s falling is love until during the strike—when they’re 14–and they don’t get together until they’re 18 and they’re leaving for better jobs and Elmer asks Buttons to stay.

Not in the Manhattan Lodging House, but with him.

Anyway in modern era, Elmer is just as eager to throw down in defense of others but gets a lot less opportunities.

He and Buttons take longer to get close.

They kinda know each other cause they’re friends with the same people but then one day some bullies decide to pick on Buttons and Elmer is naturally all just oh okay time to throw down now.

Cue Buttons all like hot damn but definitely too shy to do anything about it.

They don’t talk much for a couple months after that despite how Elmer does think Buttons is cute too.

Anyway Elmer spends a lot of time at other people’s houses in this era (mostly the Larkin and Dasilva houses) just to get away from the crazy crowdedness of his own family.

Then one day Jarek forgets to pick him up from mathletes (because you can pry modern!Elmer being Cady Heron’s national-level math nemesis out of my cold dead hands) and it’s pouring down rain outside.

Still, instead of calling someone to come get him Elmer naturally thinks I can totally walk 2 miles to get home through that and puts his hoodie hood up and gets moving.

Not even half a mile later he’s freezing, soaking wet, and starving cause he hasn’t eaten since lunch.

He’s pretty sure he’s about to pass out, and he really doesn’t want to do that on the sidewalk so he starts thinking about friends who live closer to the school than he does.

The nearest house happens to be the Davenports’.

Needless to say Buttons is pretty shocked when his crush shows up on his doorstep soaking wet but still with a big smile, all just hi Buttons can I crash here for a bit?

Unfortunately Elmer meant crash quite literally, as he straight up faints right then and there and Buttons has to drag him inside.

It’s probably a good thing Buttons is home alone at the time.

When Elmer wakes up he’s pretty disoriented but warm and (relatively) dry under a blanket on Buttons’s couch.

He looks over to realize that Buttons is sitting in a chair nearby just watching the movie he put on quietly in the background and just. Oh shit I just passed out in front of a cute boy.

He kinda panics like I should go sorry for barging in but Buttons is like wtf no you literally passed out you’re either calling someone to come get you or staying the night. Now drink some fucking hot chocolate and get some self-preservation instincts you idiot.

And Elmer feels like he should call someone to come get him but he also doesn’t really want to cause hot damn.

In the end he does call Jack to pick him up and Jack chews him out for trying to walk home in a storm but he also notices the look he and Buttons share at the door.

Elmer ends up texting Buttons and asking if he wants to meet up for coffee as a thank you for not letting me freeze to death in the rain.

They end up spending a lot of time together and eventually get set up by Jack by their friends who are all tired of their shit like good god guys we all know you’re in love just kiss already.

If Elmer was confused by all the affection he was getting from having a good platonic friend group, he’s very confused by the affection he gets being in a romantic relationship.

Buttons kinda wants to throw hands with his boyfriend’s big siblings for that but that’s besides the point.

Anyway it takes him a while to get used to even just small gestures like holding hands but once he gets used to it Elmer is 100% the cuddliest boyfriend ever.

He’s still super touch-starved so he’s lucky he’s got a bf who also loves physical contact.

He’s so in love with that boy and he’s happy and seen and finally has a family that appreciates him.

^both eras.

[purplesurveys]

1236

survey by lasertine

10 How's

How did you get one of your scars? I keep recounting the story of my eyebrow scar, so I’ll share something else...I have several scars on both my knees since I was the neighborhood’s clumsiest kid and ALWAYS tripped/stumbled when I played outside. I used to be extremely insecure of my legs, but started to stop caring as I gradually noticed that no one really gives a shit about scars from childhood accidents.

How did you celebrate your last birthday? I went to work, being the workaholic I am. I only celebrated in the evening, when I bought a week’s worth of food for my family and I to feast on. I was honestly fine with it; it was exactly how I wanted my birthday to go as I’ve stopped wanting to make a big deal out of it haha.

How are you feeling at this moment? Weirdly relaxed for a Sunday. The gloomy and cozy weather is probably helping with that.

How did your night go last night? As a fangirl, good! Got lots of new content which is always fun. As a person (lol), it was just fine. I like being able to recharge on weekends and I can never really complain even if I don’t end up doing anything productive.

How did you do in high school? I was a bit all over the place. I exerted some level of effort in my favorite classes but didn’t really do the same for subjects I didn’t care for as much, like home ec, chemistry, math, etc; but on average I managed to get good grades all throughout. Overall, I kinda acknowledged very early on that high school grades weren’t going to matter in the real world so I didn’t make it a point to overexert myself and just focused on having fun and making fond memories in those teen years.

How did you get the shirt you're wearing? I got it from Artwork, a local brand that sells various apparel sporting designs produced by local artists. The branch I got it from has since shut down but I believe the brand is still alive and well.

How often do you see your best friend? I used to see Angela once in a blue moon mainly because our schedules always clashed back when we were still students, but ever since forming our little Army friend group with Reena I’ve been seeing her nearly every week.

How much money did you spend last month? LOL June was actually my worst and most shameful performance when it came to spending...let’s move on...

How old do you want to be when you get married? Kinda happen it would happen by the time I’m in between the ages of 28 and 30, kind of losing hope on it.

How old will you be at your next birthday? 24.

NINE What’s

What is the most important part of your life? I’ve said this several times but it’s really work. I’m aware of my weaknesses at my job and I want nothing more than to improve on those just because my perfectionist ass can’t bear being bad at something I’m supposed to be contributing to lol.

What did you do last weekend? Last Saturday I  watched BTS’ concert in Sao Paulo and had my first session at my Korean class. Last Sunday I mostly chilled at home but I also went to Starbucks to work for a bit but to also just relax before the week started.

What did you last cry over? Watching Angela and Reena’s graduation ceremony this afternoon. It’s hilarious because I didn’t even cry during and was mostly indifferent towards my own grad, but I surprised myself by breaking into tears while watching theirs. I’m guessing the emotions simply welled up from me being very grateful for our friendship, which formed when I needed it the most.

What are you worried about? I always get Monday anxiety on Sundays, so let’s go with that.

What is your mother’s name? Abby.

What always makes you feel better when you’re upset? BTS, for one.

What would you rather be doing? It’s not a matter of what I would rather be doing, but where I would rather be. And right now, I wish I was back on a Friday evening with the weekend just about to start.

What’s the most important thing you look for in a significant other? Patience.

What did you have for breakfast? My mom cooked up a feast for today’s breakfast for no reason - we had fried rice, tocino, I think bangus(?) and if not bangus then it was some other kind of fish, corned beef, cheese omelette, glazed ham, bacon strips, and the leftover chicken wings from last night’s dinner.

EIGHT Have You’s

Have you ever done something outrageously dumb? I probably do something of the sort at least once a day.

Have you ever had sex on the beach? No. I think I might feel uncomfortable doing so, even if you told me it would be a private beach lol. 

Have you ever been backstabbed by a friend? Yes.

Have you ever been out of the country? Yup, but it’s been a while. :( I haven’t traveled abroad since 2016.

Have you ever dated someone younger than you? It barely counts; she was only like a month and half younger.

Have you ever liked someone who already had somebody? That hasn’t happened.

Have you ever been brokenhearted? Of course.

Have you ever read an entire book in one day? Many times.

SEVEN Who’s:

Who is the last person you saw? My dad. He was watching the evening news in his room when I heard the report playing Permission to Dance so I rushed in there to see what the news was going to be about, hahahaha.

Who is the last person that you texted? ...also my dad. I was just asking him where he was since I had been craving chapaguri the other day and was gonna request if he can quickly pass by the Korean mart near our village. He never replied so I just cooked the instant noodles that we have at home, which in hindsight was I guess for the better because at least I got to save the money I would’ve paid him with.

Who called you last? The Lalamove driver I mentioned on the previous survey.

Who is the last person you hung out with? Angela, Reena, and Hans.

Who did you hug last? Angela, right before I left from her place last Tuesday.

Who is the last person that texted you? Not sure.

Who was the las person you said "I love you" to? Yumi, when I congratulated her on her graduation post.

SIX Where’s:

Where does your best friend live? The city next to mine.

Where is your favorite place to be? Either a coffee shop or our rooftop.

Where did you sleep last night? My bed.

Where did you last hang out? Mega with the three aforementioned friends.

Where do/did you go to school? UP.

Where did you last adventure to? ...Mega. So repetitive hahaha but I don’t really go out much these days for obvious reasons.

FIVE Do’s/Does:

Do you ever wish you were someone else? Not someone else in particular but I will sometimes daydream about having a different reality/situation, like being able to play an instrument or being more capable of affording more things.

Do you think anyone despises you? Possibly.

Do you like someone right now? Nopes.

Does the future scare you? It doesn’t scare me so much as it’s increasingly starting to make me feel lonelier whenever I start thinking about it.

Do you have any secret powers? Erm, no.

FOUR Why’s:

Why are you best friends with your best friend(s)? They’ve both been there through the thick and the thin and the ugly with me and have never once left my side.

Why did your parents give you the name you have? As for both my names, they just liked the sound of them.

Why did you get a myspace? Because I noticed it was popular and I wanted to see what the fuss was about.

Why are you doing this survey? Countdown surveys are always a fun format.

THREE If’s:

If you could have one super power what would it be? Time travel.

If you could go back in time and change one thing, would you? If it comes down to it, as irresistible as it seems, probably not.

If you could live anywhere, where would it be? Somewhere with winter/snow.

Two Would-you-ever’s:

Would you ever shave your head to save someone you love? I’m struggling to think how that can action save someone, but I guess if it ever does boil down to it then yeah, in a heartbeat. It grows back and if the situation was that drastic, hair would be the least of my concerns.

Would you ever get back together with any of your exes if they asked you? Depends.

Last one:

Are you happy with how your life has turned out? Very.

[imbellarosa]

For me, Lou's lyrics are pretty easy to interpet & I usually can get the message he is attempting to convey. Because he writes so candidly, you know? He really opens up and is so raw & real. That's not to say Haz isn't, I just feel like even in his songwriting, he hides his true sentiments behind embellished, overly elaborate, obscure metaphors. I feel most musicians use that space to finally let go & feel liberated to really right straight from the soul, y'know? Like Lou, he would never say the

+ things he does in songs out loud but he just lets himself go completely and it's beautiful. I think Haz is a phenomenal lyricist & I adore him to bits but I feel sad he is still so unwilling to be truly vulnerable & open with us y'know? I want to know Harry, I'm sick of Harry Styles™ the brand, the facade. The only song of Lou's that still stumps me is Miss You. I don't think you can just conclude anything based on one song but looking at HS1 too, sure it could be just fighting and drifting

+ apart and miscommunication (or lack thereof) & I feel like I was almost brainwashing into believing what people said over what my own intuition told me, everyone just drilling in: THEY NEVER BROKE UP, I felt like I was less of a supporter to think that, I felt guilty, like I let hl down almost. But as a cynic & a rationalist, it always niggled at me. I believe in the inevitable failure of 97% of relationships at that age. They just don't last. And I'm sure there's someone reading this who's

+ like, well fyi my parents were lab partners in high school and are still together with a bunch of kids. And that's great. Ah a walking paradox, being a romantic & a cynic. Anyway, the thing is, maybe they did, maybe not. Certainly, I lean towards it being very likely they did. Hardly any het 'relationships' at that age last. Now bring in two boys who are closeted and in love and in THE boyband of the era and undergone a series of absurd narratives and can't sit next to each other but are told

+ to make out with girls on NYE and hold their hands and strut about to a crowd of adoring fans as the actual person they're with is joyously playing football one minute and on the verge of breaking down the next because what if the fans like this fake relationship more, what if they like -her- more? I could go on & on, but you get the point. Thing is, maybe they did, maybe not. Does it really matter, in the bigger picture? They're together now and for once, I do have faith it'll last this time.

Also sidenote, I hope it's cool to come to your inbox and just go off tangents & rant & ramble. I mean it's kinda too late now lol 😂 but idk I swear I never intend ongoing off multiple tangents but it just inevitably happens?? Hope you can make some sense of my incoherent, mindless bs and at least find it somewhat entertaining. I like talking to you as well. You are the first person who is so open-minded & accepting of diff opinions & genuinely seems to want to hear what's on my mind.

okay well FIRST OF ALL, you are ALWAYS welcome to come rant to me goodness knows I would LOVE to hear from someone else who adores lyric analysis as much as I do! If you’re looking for anyone else to chat with, @louciernagas has some amazing analysis of her own and also adores song lyrics and might have a different take than mine! But here’s my take:

I think Harry processes stories differently than Louis, and I think it really really shows in their songwriting. For example, Harry had “raconteur” as his Twitter bio for a while, I’ve heard. ‘Raconteur’ is ‘storyteller’ in French, and my conclusion from that is that he likes to see himself as a storyteller. So he mostly writes abstract notions and large pictures and feelings and ideas that he’s felt over the years, and when he fills it in, he’s telling a story. It’s easier for him, I think, to process things if he can remove himself from it. If you look at the first draft lyrics for Lights Up that Tyler Johnson spilled the other month, they read, “lights can’t know their way out the dark running through your heart. Lights can’t help you know who you are. Do you know who you are?”. The final draft of this line reads “All the lights couldn’t put out the dark running through my heart. Lights up and they know who you are. Do you know who you are?”. I think it’s worth mentioning that the primary difference between the first version of this song and this one is the addition of a first-person pronoun in the final draft. 

Either way, this song would have been about him, and HIS self-discovery and HIS liberation, right? But the way that he chose to write it at first was without placing himself into the story. And like...I think he does that a lot. And then, of course, he does the reverse, too. He says “I” did this or “I” did that and it may not be him at all. I’ll tell you a funny trend I’ve noticed is that the songs that seem most personal to him are about someone else in broad strokes, or about himself in broad strokes. But I think it’s because it’s easier for him to tell true stories if he doesn’t have to say that they’re about him. 

For Louis, I would say it’s the reverse: he HAS to make his stories about himself because it’s the only way he CAN tell his stories. He’s learned to use his words as a weapon against everyone who thought he was too young, not good enough, not kind enough, too stupid, that he didn’t have enough star power, etc. He’s ALWAYS had to prove them wrong, and the only way he had was his music. So he SAID that they would go out and drink cheap wine until sunrise and that they lived in this *specific* apartment complex and that he would tell the truth if his partner wanted him too. He SAID that he’d like to go to the pub every sunday, if he could (and I think the music video for JLY even names the pub haha), that the reason he has done every single thing he has is for the other person. He HAD to say it, not for us, but for himself. HE had to tell the stories he needed to, and he did. And THAT is what makes his album - and all of his songs - so so special to me. They have that element of “fighting back” as well as of telling stories. 

I, personally, tell stories like Harry does. I like to talk about things I know or have experienced as if I’m coming at them from a different angle, because it’s easier on my heart that way, sometimes. Sometimes, the only way I have to say the truest things I know are to make someone else say them or to talk about them as if it were about another person. That’s kind of what fantasy is, in a way. It’s what storytelling is. But I *so* admire the autobiographical quality that Walls has to it, because I would be terrified. 

And as for ‘do I think they broke up?’ I’m very very much in the “who cares” camp - just like you! Maybe? Maybe they did in 2016 at some point. But like...as evidenced by the entire quarantine (and the last like..year and a half), they aren’t broken up NOW, and that’s what I’m gonna go on. And everything else doesn’t really matter, you know? The rest is confetti. 

[mikkock]

Hey hi your murder mystery art is super totally cool and amazing and I'd like to Extra! Extra! hear all about it *rattles bells*

haha wow i cant believe ud ask me THIS! unbelievable! now im gonna have to make a long post!

all info under the cut cause im kind like that ♥

For reasons I felt like making a Fancy Ass murder mystery story, with you know, hella complex secret storylines and everyone having drama and shit, and one person died but the more the story goes the less people care about who did the murder and the more they want tHE JUICY DETAILs. X and Y had an afFAIR you say!!! well that’s thousands time more interesting than that murder that happened, who cares about the culprit its not like any of us are going anywhere anyway! tell me more about the marital issues!

The ultimate Vibes are Clue (the game, ya kno, it had a movie too, and that movie was shot with three different endings -fun fact- so that movie theatres could play one alternatively that way people wouldnt get spoiled or even if they did they would not get the ending they were spoiled or even if all three were spoiled you couldnt know which ending you were getting anyway, big dick move, cause its an old movie and film is expensive, also that movie stupid and campy, ALSO I ONLY LEARNED MAKING THIS AU THAT IN ENGLISH THE GAME’S CALLED “CLUE” wE CALL IT CLUEDO therefore my wip playlist is called cluedo. because. fuck it.)(i just have an emotional attachment to that game i even had a cd rom video game version and it was the spookiest shit for a 6 years old, trust me, i played it so much tho i didnt even understand the rULES i was just making scenarios like gathering the characters in rooms n making conversations outloud cause honestly the banter is the best part of a murder mystery) ANYWAY that sure is a whole paragraph of tangent. 

BUT YE the inspo from the Clue game. you can tell it from the Colours obviously, everyone’s colour codded.(even everyone’s name is colours as well you’ll see it’s real dang fancy! im just remaking that game but with 2932020 characters and more behind the scenes drama and also for gay people.)

So BASIC PLOT!

Sir Belyy, the dude in white, is The Rich Powerful Respected Fancy Boss, and he throws a Fancy Reception Party with his closest friends and associates to celebrate the opening of a new branch of his business. All the lads gather in his wonderful little very isolated mansion in the middle of nowhere, like ok he got a death wish or something or he’s very trusting of his business partners, but not a good move, cause in the middle of the reception, as A Phat Storm Starts (for plot convenience, we going with a campy vibe if you couldnt tell), his body is found, it’s awful, there’s a killer on the loose! All the guests gather, and attempt to maybe contact the authorities, to not avail, since The Storm ya know, phone lines are Broken my dude. Its clear that the culprit is among them, since no one could have entered the house, or left it (cuz once again, ThE sTORm). And then it’s all about interrogating each other, distrust, alliances and betrayal, revealing one’s deepest secrets when they form an alibi and revealing someone else’s deepest secret for they could be a motive! Meanwhile there’s a dead body in the mansion just chillin there. 

.

So as I mentioned, I changed everyone’s name to be colour related (or ya know, food or flowers of that colour cause sometimes a colour in a language would not work as a name given the way names work in that culture all that jazz) which is the trippiest thing cause tHATS NOT YALLS USUAL NAMES but its fun (also changed so many ages hgfhs it was a trip)(still no one’s really old i guess i got boomerphobia). The “Cast” is clearly the most important part, and if ur a True “My OCs” Connaisseur (hdfghd the most useful skill to have, knowing *MY* Charactersdshgd) you may have recognised some faces and can already read some vibes and predict who will be progressing the plot and who will be yelling at people throwing accusations ghdfgd.

(god i wish i hadnt slacked off making the portraits of everyone in that AU i only have 3 tho that’s so sad so ill just make little sketches just cause <3 only text??? i got too many hoes with no attention span for that)

.

Sir BELYY (the one who dIEs lmao)

(bust shot missing the fact that this man is the tallest beefiest lad around)

Intimidating, powerful, composed, wealthy, carries the name of a family who has generations of control to it’s reputation, he’s The Man that hoes who believe in the economy wishes they were. As in, the “self made” man who only just happened to benefit from having a wealthy background to uplift his plans. In his youth, he wanted to prove his worth, seperated himself from his father, started a business, that business became big, then got attached to the family’s business, bam back to square one but with Reputation now. There seemed to be VERY big tension between him and The Father, some speculate it had to do with his unknown mother, and some family drama there, and it never got resolved as old man Belyy died quite young (the jUICY speculations are that current sir Belyy mURDEREd old man sir Belyy, fucked up if true!). People love him though in general, as he has that reputation of “Cold Lad With a Gold Heart” aka he takes people under his wings, donates, doesnt treat his employees like the absolute worst garbage etc... you know, he’s rich and a half decent person, so obviously he’s an angel on earth. But does it matter though, he’s dead! that’s the concept of the story!  

Mr.GRAY (the grey guest)(who could have guessed from the name)

He’s one of Sir Belyy’s oldest employees, and benefits from a high rank in the company. But, sadly for him, he’s been stagnating lately, as newer, youngest employees seem to have Belyy’s favours, and are his prefered associates for important tasks and positions. Therefore he has Some Bitterness, Some Salt, Some Distaste, some unbriddled but professionally muted hatred for Specific people in the company. He can be an antagonistic figure, but the amount of time he spent in Belyy’s circle grants him an immense quantity of information about the man, but mostly, about his business. Anything about the company’s history, dealings, operations, he’s aware of, either having been told of them, or having snooped around to obtain, immune to being questioned due to his legitimacy in the company.

Mr.LIM (the green guest)

Remember when it was said that Gray had beef with some employees cause they were younger and rose to high ranks faster than him and became Belyy’s favourite over him? Yeah well here comes the one he hates the most for that (ofc he’s belyys fave cuz he’s Mine <3) Our lad caught Belyy’s attention for his Exploits in like, em fancy high school tournaments of smart people, it’s a thing its ridiculous, making kids compete on Smart stuff for the pride of their schools n shit, well homie Lim got clout when doing that, and Belyy was extremely interested cause that kid’s main thing was how “this young lad got mad strategic skills tf are u a war general or smth how fancy”, and that’s a coveted skill for ruthless business. So as soon as the kid is an adult, bam, join the company my dude. And because he’s just that Cool n Sexy ofc he met the expectations Belyy had, and old man Belyy got attached cuz it do be such a young lad, a kid, mentally i am adopting. That’s how you get a youngas employee becoming the right hand man of one the phatest CEO in a few years, and even make your way into being a Good Lad on top of a business partner. And that’s how you get Gray to hate your ass too. Now though, fine lad with mad strategic skills, rising to power that fast, and even infiltrating Belyy’s private life? If I were Gray I’d call suspicion there’s surely some shady stuff going no way we’re just dealing with a nice fella who just happens to work good and be friendly to the boss right?

Herra MUSTA (the black “guest”)

Belyy’s newest butler, assistant, house keeper, he multitasks. His family has been tied to Belyy’s for generations, fullfilling roles of help, but also of confidents. He’s been the head butler since only a short time, after his mother passed, and as such is still “in training” you could say, despite having served the family his whole life. There are rumours going around that the contract tying his family to the Belyys may end on his generation and need to be resigned. He known the manor by heart, and carries all keys to any locked room (and mostly, The Master Key, cause in an old house, some doors may be locked beyond all still existing keys). He also knows secrets of the family that no one else knows, but good luck getting em out of him, he’s under contract not to divulge em bro.

Mr. HASSEL (the brown guest)

Belyy’s childhood friend. They grew up together, pictured their dreams together, sworn to flourish together, worked together when starting the company, and then Hassel felt he should create his own thing instead of depending on his friend’s existing wealth, and while Belyy’s business went wild, his never took off. They still stayed very close, despite the massive difference in wealth. Belyy considers him his closest friend, the one person he can trust (fucked if hassel did the murder lemme tell u). So of course, he’s still always invited to the Prestigious meet ups where’s he’s free to feel uncomfortably out of place amongst all the rich and powerful people that he could have been a part of had he had a tiny bit of luck and a small loan from a wealthy relative...People LOVE saying he’s still hanging out with Belyy so much to leech off his wealth, cause of course they do! His bestie status means he has a whole different brand of information of Belyy than his butler does, the Most Intimate Stuff, the Childhood Stuff. The Juicy stuff ya kno...But Bro Code, its all secrets...

Sir RUZH (the red “guest”)

Deep dive into Belyy’s personnal history, the man has many employees working at his house keeping it working, clean, ya know the vibe. They live on the premice, one has a kid who’s just a Joy to be around, all the employees just vibe with that lad, he’s just a born socialite you know? Belyy gets to meet the kid, and also hella vibes with him. And because human are influenced by their feelings, he gives the kid’s mum a bit of a preferencial treatment, in the tasks she fullfils and all, til he gives her an important-as mission, and then there’s an accident n mama dies, and now Belyy got guilt and there’s this kid who just Vibes. So naturally the move is to take the kid in, and play on how his vibes are just so clean, and raise him to be the Perfect Entertainer for guests, bam, its soft power propaganda, if everyone loves your now son’s vibes, they associate them with you too. And also that’s kind of a clean rep, the selfless man who adopted his employee’s son to not have him fall to the streets, how heartwarming. Not at all traumatising for the kid too I bet! But anyway now the lad is just the most charming young adult, mission accomplished. He’s always present at any reception, ready to work his people-pleasing magic, and then going back to a gigantic empty manor to wait for the next and curate the perfect vibes to meet the expectations of dad. On the plus side, he knows everyone, and those who don’t know him cannot wAIT to, he’s just got that aura ya know. People skills for miles, and the insider knowledge that comes with being the son of the CEO, all this hidden behind the personna of the fresh innocent bashful party lad. 

Dr.FEN (the pink guest)

Do not get mistaken by the title, he’s no doc, he will not diagnose you with anything, he just studied long enough to get the sexy title. Study in what? Haha. Nothing shady. Just toxicology. He’s a world reknown poison expert basically, that’s his main thing. Oh but don’t worry, of course studying substances that may kill people is only for finding out how to cure them from it of course. What brings him in this circle? Simple, Belyy may or may not have started to suffer some weird illness that no doctor has been able to find the source, let alone cure, of. Him and Dr.Fen had met previously on some event, cause some rich man also love flexing how smart they are and attending sciencey shit, and he was contacted as sort of a shot in the dark. The lad does know how to treat some things, maybe he can treat The Mysterious Unwellness, since no traditional doctor was able to. He knows science, he’s trustworthy, bam, you’re hired to work on My Case Exclusively. Thanks to this, Dr.Fen has access to the whole health history of Belyy and his family, to many mANY dangerous substances, and also has The Respect of the hoes at the party. He HAS a doctorate after all. Epitome of knowledge. And he’s a kind to people and he wears pink like dang how can you nOT pour your wHOLE trust in him. 

Sir MOREVITCH (the blue guest)

Youngest son of an affluent family, who used to be close the the Belyys. The two families fell slightly appart after the death of the previous head of the family on the Belyy side, as they do nOT vibe with the current one (well current, til the first night of the story ig). But, unbeknownst to all, one strong link had been kept, between the youngest of the Morevitch, who dislikes his family and wishes to emancipate himself from them while also assuring his depart will not throw him basically in the streets, and our beloved Sir Belyy, who also dislikes the Morevitches but loves to see the rebellious energy of the young one (and ya know, my enemy’s enemy’s my friend or however you say that). So Belyy’s basically offering tips and helping Morevitch plant himself safely out of his family’s grasp, but it’s all taking quite some time isn’t it, slow and steady is fine until your parents try to arrange a wedding to secure more political power, and suddenly it is all quite urgent that you escape that situation because No Thank You Parents I Do Not Want A Wife I’m Too Young And Also Huh <3 Stuff You Won’t Like Hearing For Sure <3. The people who know they’re working together also know that it’s a big point of argument between them, the difference in vision between “you have to go slow and steady to be safe” and “I have very limited time to get to that safety anyway so I gotta risk it” “hell no you cant i can’t follow through if we’re going that quick that’ll put me at risk and you’re family’s gonna send gunmen to take me down”. A mess, it’d be much quicker to just obtain a few million bucks out of nowhere and bolt for sure...

Mr.GANG (the orange guest)

Morevitch’s trusted assistant. He hears the concerns, he helps the secret businesses, he lies to the parents about the whereabouts, and mostly, he’s basically a budget spy. The lad got that talent where people just don’t notice him popping behind them and catching all their dirty laundry as they confess it to someone they trust, and he always manages to break into places, get the intel he was looking for, and escape, putting everything back into place as if no one was ever there (wonder where he got all those skills from damn!). But what he’s even better at is being sneaky not only to benefit his boss, but himself as well <3. If he can catch all the info in the world, go any places, nothing’s stopping him from playing double agent and also going behind Morevitch’s back. After all the assistant life isn’t the most glamourous and rewarding, who can blame him from going and using his talents to build his own little exit route, right? Everybody sort of knows he cannot be trusted, but also no one managed to really incriminate or stop him, and as much as he has tea on many people, no has it on him, but bet once found that would be heeeella juicy.

M.MOUTARDE (the yellow guest)(this one is straight up the name of the yellow player in the french edition of clue too when i say its my main vibe)

Moutarde was an influential celebrity. He had a big break acting in a movie that the whole country stanned so hard they basically turned the script into their national anthem (they would have if it was a true democracy where the people really decide), he was so handsome and elegant, everyone’s dream husband. And then the fame fiddled out because it’s how fame is, one moment you’re the sexiest dish on the table and the next someone brings in dessert and baam, its all about that fresh cake, and no one pays any mind to your delightful aroma anymore, you’ve gone cold, they had a bite, their interest is somewhere else. Belyy really admires his work though, and mostly finds his image fits with the brand of his company, therefore the two are working on a collaboration to make Moutarde a representative. This WOULD boost Moutarde’s reputation, for his ads would be displayed on every imaginable surface of the country, and it would also benefit the company cause being represented by thAT sexy motherfucker? clearly that’s a deal. The freshness of the partnership means Moutarde is a newcomer in the guests, a fresh face, with no reputation, no relationships, no unfair biases against him. He’s just the new handsome charismatic lad with a squeaky clean image. Emphasis on “image”. After all, no one really knows anything of his background, right?

Kun.LAWENDER (the purple guest)

Private investigator, very useful to be around at a party it’s almost like it was expected there’d be a body to investigate, he’s a very close associate of Belyy, as there’s nothing more important to business than investigating the rivals and finding dirt on them to make them fall through infamy. He’s not exactly the PI who goes look for justice to be served, he’s just here for cash bro. He’s got intel on everyone, and will only let it out if offered the right thing in return (money, or sometimes other pieces of very secret intel, trade is good). Wouldn’t advise letting him and Gang team up tbh but they probably wouldnt, as Lawender is really more of a lone wolf player, going on his own for himself. The one thing that negates his usefulness as a PI on an accidental crime of scene is that even if he knew the whole truth of the event he would not spit it out unless he benefitted from saying it. He sure is a polarising lad, but at the same time, an untouchable one, he’s too knowledgeable to be taken down. Rather than sneaky, he’s extremely observant, noticing the tiniest details and engraving them in his memory, ready to be linked up to other details to deduct the big picture. He’s the upfront tea gathered basically (as opposed to Gang’s shadow tea gathering if you will, they are similar forces but using opposite methods)(also one of em got a licence n the other does not hAH).

~~~~

Now the secrets, all of em have them. One of em at least got the secret of having KILLED Belyy that’s that. But that’s to be kept for later (for if i ever use this story for more than daydream material gfhjgh) bet you can imagine what some of em may be just out of Knowing what i do, from having seen the characters in other contexts, or just because you’re a genius and reading the character profiles immediatly lit up the bulbs in your head forming the perfect theory, props to you, mad genius.

Honestly my thoughts are just how lit of a game that would be, you get to pick one hoe (maybe sum are locked til u find their secrets for juicy purposes) and you do your invetigation using your character’s perks and disadvantages, and maybe there could even be Multiple scenarios and outcomes, to spice it up, give replay value, i just think it’d be a game id spend hours on. tryin to get the spicy details of everyone’s life. walking around n digging through a rich man’s stuff, witnessing the drAMA of people fighting cause they’re locked in with a murderer and that’s stressful ngl. That or a long ass show @ netflix wanna give me a show maybe? give me hella budget we’re making it animated cause im too cultured for live action. 

whatever i make of it though, i hope i can make this story Flourish, just so that i can lay down all those secret backstories i’ve written. i want the satisfaction of throwing out the craziest secret drama between character n seeing peeps loose their minds, it just is a tasty experience.

also i gotta say, i plug the hell out of Clue for an inspo but when i was building the basics of the story my mind immediatly went “oH MY GOD THE VIBES,, THE BACKSTABBING AND tEAMING UP and all,,, its The Genius, that one tv show where peeps have to do the wildest games that require strategy n they’re in that fancy set that looks like a rich ppl mansion oh god the vibes” so yeah, i rewatched the whole first two seasons cause they’re my faves and that had an impact if only minimal in the aesthetic.

Anyway hope that quick presentation gave you a lil taste of the story, and maybe,,,, got you curious,,, craving to learn more like you never did before (im exaggerating the only real question we all got is just “so who’s fuckin with whom then how many of yall secretly dating” this the real deal)

[originofjaehyun]

Interlude: No More Drama & Prelude: After Story – Omake

Omake’s primary meaning is general and widespread. It is used as an anime and manga fandom term to mean extra or bonus.

Hi!

Because I wasn’t able to update the next chapter this week (stares directly at my other deadlines) – so I thought of updating you guys with something that is rather different instead! :D

Whenever I write, sometimes I would reach roadblocks, and ideas just wouldn’t come out. Usually by then, I would start to imagine things that most of the time are totally unrelated to the main story (haha).

Anyway! Long story short, these are the character profiles that I imagined when I designed them on my head (lol?)

Friendly reminder that this is a complete fiction!

P.S.: I imagined them during their Neo Zone era, so I wouldn’t talk that much about them physically? Also, you can search on Twitter on their actual perfumes, but I think these brands would suit them very well too (there are some that I took from that reference as well lol).

Read Interlude & Prelude

Jaehyun

Scent: Maison Margiela – Jazz Club, Jo Malone – Myrrh and Tonka

Cigarette brand: Marlboro Red

Carpool karaoke pick: (At first) Lauv – I Like Me Better, Cigarette After Sex, and such, but later he would play Spotify’s This Is Adele playlist

Cocktail pick: Ballatine’s Scotch Whiskey

Food delivery choices: Anything within reach (does not have any preference)

Kinks: This tickles him by a lot, but he likes it when you teased him by playing with his happy trail

Yuta

Scent: Diptyque – Tam Dao, Armani – Code Colonia

Cigarette brand: He used to smoke Camel, but changed to IQOS

Carpool karaoke pick: Depeche Mode, Post Malone, RADWIMPS, sometimes Arashi

Cocktail pick: Cassis Orange, beer

Food delivery choices: Fried chicken (let’s not make him obviously Japanese by making him ordering Ramen every time lol)

Kinks: He loves the sound of skin slapping each other, so expect a lot of spanking

Johnny

Scent: BYREDO – Mojave Ghost (for daily), LE LABO – Santal 33 (for the evening), Tom Ford – Fucking Fabulous (for the special occasions)

Cigarette brand: Dunhill Blonde Blend

Carpool karaoke pick: Daft Punk (for sure), Disclosure, and such

Cocktail pick: Negroni

Food delivery choices: Fast food, preferably burgers

Kinks: He’s sensitive behind his ears, and would go wild whenever you whisper directly to his ears

Doyoung

Scent: Le Labo – Another 13, Chanel – Bleu De Chanel

Cigarette brand: None

Carpool karaoke pick: Park Hyo Shin, Daniel Caesar, Celine Dion

Cocktail pick: Gin & Tonic

Food delivery choices: Jajjangmyeon

Kinks: He likes it when you explore his neck, and whenever you kiss his adam’s apple

Mark

Scent: Dior – Eau Savage

Cigarette brand: None

Carpool karaoke pick: 2Pac, Kendrick Lamar

Cocktail pick: He prefers dark beer, but would take soju anytime with his hyungs

Food delivery choices: Anything carbs

Kinks: He bites a lot

Taeyong

Scent: Penhaligon – Endymion

Cigarette brand: Raison

Carpool karaoke pick: Jhené Aiko, Kehlani, Justin Bieber

Cocktail pick: Jagerbomb, but he would be the one who suggested Tequila shots

Food delivery choices: Bubble tea

Kinks: He likes the feeling of your nail piercing onto his skin (lol did I just make him slightly masochist)

Haechan

Scent: Jean Paul Gaultier – Le Male

Cigarette brand: Lucky Strike Menthol

Carpool karaoke pick: Michael Jackson, Queen, Jason Mraz

Cocktail pick: Soju

Food delivery choices: Fast food, but he would join anyone who’s ordering any food

Kinks: He prefers the room to be bright so he can see you

Jungwoo

Scent: Roses – Chloe

Cigarette brand: None

Carpool karaoke pick: Frank Ocean, Dean, NCT (a-ha)

Cocktail pick: He would take a sip of anything tbh

Food delivery choices: Anything but he would often craves for kimbab

Kinks: Jungwoo you’re not allowed to have a kink

Taeil

Scent: Tom Ford – Noir Extreme

Cigarette brand: Camel Filter

Carpool karaoke pick: He owns a playlist called; “Wedding Day Songs”

Cocktail pick: Old Fashioned

Food delivery choices: Ramen (the legit ramen and not the instant ones)

Kinks: He breathes you in, a lot

Winwin

Scent: Aqcua Di Parma – Blu Mediterraneo Mandorlo Di Sicilia

Cigarette brand: Mevius One

Carpool karaoke pick: The 1975, Vampire Weekend

Cocktail pick: Ume Highball

Food delivery choices: Jokbal

Kinks: Surprisingly he’s into role play (he loves it when you call him by his code name)

Random Trivia

All Interlude chapters’ quotes are from Jaehyun’s parts on Neo Zone album

Same goes for Prelude, except for Make Your Day (since Yuta wasn’t a part of that song, I replaced it with Jaehyun’s)

You might or might not notice, but I also put Jaehyun’s part(s) on the actual chapter (either on the conversations or the narrations)

Yuta’s yakuza friend, Taka (mentioned briefly), is taken from MIYAVI’s real name (Takamasa Ishihara) – I borrowed his name because Yuta listened to MIYAVI alot (he also followed him on Instagram!)

The music that they listen to on the car ride during Pandora’s Box was Cigarette After Sex’s Apocalypse (because Jaehyun listens to Cigarettes After Sex before going to bed)

The music during the first car ride with Yuta was No Replacing You by Pink Sweat$ (it’s a part of Jaehyun’s playlist – which he revealed on one of his vlive)

The movie that Jaehyun and [Y/N] watched during the rainy day on White Night, The Notebook, is based on Jaehyun’s recommendation on NCT Night Night

I also mentioned this on Pandora’s Box, but the repeated quote between [Y/N] and Jaehyun, “What is the first twenty-four hours if we’re looking back at the past seventy years?” is highly inspired from Ed Sheeran’s Thinking Out Loud (And darling I will be loving you 'til we're 70) –because Jaehyun is a fan of Ed.

Also, [Y/N] and Jaehyun met when they’re on their mid 20s. The average human lifespan is 79 years —hopefully our [Y/N] and Jaehyun would have a wonderful long life together. That phrase itself means that both of them are willing to spend the rest of their lives together. Though, I don’t know how that becomes their own love language, it just happened as I write the story haha

[Y/N]’s body gel inspiration is actually a body cleanser by Aesop, A Rose By Any Other Name

Jaehyun’s engagement ring pick was Étincelle de Cartier Ring by Cartier

Jaehyun and [Y/N]’s favorite Ghibli movie pick is Howl’s Moving Castle – Jaehyun mentioned on NCT Night Night that he watched Howl’s Moving Castle a lot when he was at school

After the wedding, dark crimson rose was spotted on Nakamoto’s residence. This symbolizes grief and sadness.

On Make Your Day, the flower language meaning for Buttercup is “Your charm dazzles me”. This is why Yuta knows ___ is attracted to her. If you didn’t notice, Yuta already know that she’s the florist during their first encounter at Nonstop. That is because Yuta remembers their first encounter, too

The tune that ___ listen to at the end of Make Your Day is Always With Me (Spirited Away theme song). I personally feel the scene (on my head) fits the song perfectly! If you want to give it a listen, I recommend the piano version

At the end, ___ gave Yuta anthurium, which means hospitality and happiness. Note how I never really specify their relationship status, since I want the readers to have their own interpretation on the continuation of their relationship

Yuta’s haircut was actually not planned, but it fits the transition since he did cut his hair haha

The hardest chapters to write was Pandora’s Box and Not Alone – purely because they’re mostly transition chapters

Out of all chapters, my personal favorite from Interlude would be White Night and Nonstop for Prelude.

In fact, Nonstop would be my favorite chapter. I think I was so immersed with Jaehyun and [Y/N]’s wedding so I kept including TONS of details hahaha (I hope you don’t mind lol)