#Something something being respectful because he doesn't know what else to do with the culture shock lol

[bloodsoakeddoodles]

They pair nicely, considering

[angie-words]

Second part of details from the Am I Broken: Survivor Stories episode titled Claire "I ignored It and I Believed Him Because He's A Storyteller [Neil Gaiman]". Part 1 here

Again, a reminder that I really, really urge you to listen to the episode if you feel able, found on Apple and Spotify.

EDIT (1st August 2024): two further women have made allegations

CW: details of sexual coercion, gaslighting, power dynamic imbalance, sexual assault, trauma, ptsd, sexual predator behaviour, grooming, abuse of power, discussion of rape culture, victim-blaming

Claire says she is glad the fandom is doing the work to believe victims, but she also understands those "burying their head in the sand" because that's what she tried to do

DeBoer asks what else has helped Claire, besides learning new vocabulary to help her frame her experiences (e.g. grooming, sexual coercion). She says that listening to her body's physical responses, including the trauma dreams, has helped

She began telling friends and she said this helped a lot as they validated what she was feeling rather than believing Gaiman's narrative

Claire says that writing has also helped her process, including writing letters she never sent. She wrote blog and reddit posts, but didn't publish any of them because she didn't know how to come forward with her story

DeBoer thanks her for finding the ability to come forward and asks her what allowed her to feel this was possible now. Claire says that talking with a friend allowed her to develop a certainty, especially when she starts advocating for herself and other people

Claire says that she had been in denial because she was trying to protect herself from the knowledge that someone she trusted and adored had violated her trust

She expresses a deep sadness about how her memories and love of Gaiman's work have been tainted by what he has done to her. She describes that loss of "such magic and beauty" as being deeply sad

The last time she spoke to Gaiman was 2022, which it now turns out was the same year he got Scarlett to sign an NDA.

Claire reiterates how he is seen as a god, deified by the fandom

During one call, he said "I don't know what I see in you - I'm an award-winning author and you are-" and he didn't finish the sentence but she says he didn't need to as the meaning was clear. She describes herself as one of many fans willing to do almost anything for him

Claire says she and others worshipped him. She says consent wasn't impossible, but she was operating from a hero worship complex, fueling a fawn response

DeBoer states that fans are incapable of true consent - what they see is a projection, they are worshipping someone who isn't real, and so they are incapable of being in a real relationship with that hero

Claire agrees it was his responsibility to open the discussion about power dynamics and adhere to it. She said he didn't check in or respect boundaries; she says that wasn't because of autism or something else - she doesn't know why he felt he was owed her body/consent. DeBoer agrees the responsibility was Gaiman's

Claire says that ongoing consent discussions are needed; DeBoer agrees that such things also need to start slowly, and they both discuss how fast Gaiman moved things between him and Claire

Reflecting on how these experiences have affected her in light of the allegations, she can see now she experienced trauma responses to things that reminded her of him. She had to distance herself from friends who still loved Gaiman; she found she couldn't even enjoy reading. She even stopped going into book stores.

Claire almost stopped volunteering at the rape crisis centre. She wasn't sure how she could advocate for anyone else when she hadn't been able to do so for herself. Her manager validated her feelings and said that if everyone who'd had their boundaries violated left, they'd have no one left. It's implied this gave her a new perspective and moved her away from some victim-blaming of herself

She still experiences feelings of doubt and a lack of self-worth in comparison to who Neil Gaiman is, what he's done. However, Claire is trying to move past this mindset, the voice of him in her head

DeBoer encourages her by reminding her that she matters, that she has a voice. They thank her for her bravery and courage

Claire hopes people come away with believing how our bodies respond to trauma - "listen to all of it, not just what people around you are saying"

Claire says she is not broken: she is sad for the child who lost her hero. At this point, Claire becomes a little overwhelmed. She states he influenced how she thought about the assaults

DeBoer ends by talking about how sexual abuse is about both sex and power, not just power as some have stated, otherwise this would be a different type of abuse. They say that there are many indicators of Gaiman having power (money, fame, social capital, age, maturity, gender, eloquence and mythopoesis)

DeBoer says the person with the power has the greater responsibility for shaping the boundaries of the relationship

They say that Claire's healing has come through being able to tell her story, finding the power within herself. DeBoer details an exercise called "safety bubble" that can assist with this (I'd recommend going to about 1:09:00 into the podcast if you want to learn more)

DeBoer reiterates listening to our bodies and how they respond to trauma - it can be difficult to interpret what the sensations we feel are, but it can allow us to reclaim our stories

They define rape culture and how it is insidious, blaming victims, then sharing original notes DeBoer sent when Claire first contacted them. They say Gaiman was testing and pushing boundaries, that this was predatory behaviour; they also said at the time that there was a high likelihood Claire was not the only person Gaiman had done this to

They end with mentioning where to find more information about restorative justice steps someone can take if they have hurt another person

I think that's all folks. It's been extremely difficult for me, as someone who's experienced sexual assault and also this kind of gaslighting thanks to rape culture mentalities. I hope this has been useful for some folks. Please look after yourselves❤️

[dunmeshistash]

What do you think about Shuro? And more specifically his relationship with Laios, and idk if you talk about ships but what are your thoughts on laishuro

I have this headcannon that Laios has some sort of unrequited crush on Shuro just because it's sorta funny

I ship pretty much everything. Like, as default I think everyone should kiss everyone 👍

If I'm honest I'm not much of a Shuro fan, he's a little boring to me and reactions to the chimera episode made me dislike him a bit lmao.

Ignoring the fandom I like him as a character and I LOVE his fight with Laios. Shuro's relationship to Laios is my favorite part of that character so laishuro pretty much saves him for me.

In universe Shuro is said to be quite the introvert even for people from his country. He's not the standard for someone from the eastern archipelago and it bothered me a bit when people used that to justify how he wasn't honest to Laios. I understand the idea that he comes from somewhere where reading social cues is not only expected but required but he's also someone who avoids confrontation and is quiet/shy in general.

Here's a bit from Maizuru's description from the adventurer's bible

"People tend to describe Shuro as "drab" and "shy" (...)" so specifically HE IS the exact type of person who would cause the biggest misunderstanding with Laios, just compare him to how his retainers or even his father and brothers act.

It took them saying they used ancient magic on Falin/seeing chimera Falin for him to finally snap, everything else he decided to just take it cause he thought it was better to take it than to confront Laios directly.

So besides the cultural differences you have to take into consideration this was pretty much the perfect storm brewing for that confrontation, and it's as much who Shuro is as a person and who Laios is as person that caused it.

I also disagree that the fight was a "they're both in the wrong" situation. Don't get me wrong, Laios was VERY culturally insensitive to Shuro and even more insensitive to his feelings, but there was nothing he could have done differently with the information that was available to him.

Specifically I see this comic being used to justify how Laios was to blame too, making Shuro into the victim

Like that's a major white guy move but he DIDN'T HEAR Shuro's name and Shuro never corrected him. I'd understand it if his reaction was "Your name is too complicated so I'll call you Shuro instead" that would be a major dick move, but Laios did not hear his name because Toshiro mumbled it, and for someone that forgot Kabru's name several times I imagine he made an effort to remember Shuro's.

Laios never met someone from the eastern archipelago before this, nobody ever explained to him he wasn't acting in an appropriate manner and most of all he thought they were friends. He trusted Shuro to set boundaries for him, he always respects boundaries that are set even when he doesn't fully understand them (Recalling the "I forgot about feelings.." when Chilchuck says it feels wrong to eat merman)

Instead of explaining ANYTHING to Laios, Shuro instead held it all in until it exploded all at once, he blamed Laios for not knowing something he couldn't know, and accused him of not being serious about saving his own sister.

Just imagine how this must have felt for Laios, everyone is always underestimating how serious he is, everyone accuses him of being stupid, clueless, and now this guy is telling him he isn't serious about saving the person he loves the most in the world and wants to protect always. To me this wasn't a "they're both in the wrong" situation, Shuro is far more in the wrong than Laios. But that's just how I see it.

That all being said, they understood each other finally and made peace after that fight.

And several times after this we see that Shuro really cares for Laios, and Laios still wants to be his friend. He even offered to save Laios if he fails (and he's sure he's gonna fail). So their relationship is dear to me, especially cause after this they finally have the foundation for a true mutual friendship <3

I think my dislike of Shuro comes from relating to him to be honest, it happens often that I see my own failures on a character and get angry at them for being angry at myself lmao. I also got a little annoyed cause I only saw people defending him, apparently those were made as a response to hate he had gotten? But since I never actually seen the hate it just felt annoying to see Shuro being white knighted.

Anyway I love the two of them together and I'm really happy they finally understood each other better. laishuro might be my favorite Laios ship, one sided crushes are great.

[thekeeperof-thefandoms]

Hi, could i request Alastor x reader where one of them does something nice/gives something to the other not realizing that in their culture it's equivalent of courting/proposing? And since the other is in love with them, they don't mention the connotations and it takes someone else to point it out for them to realize? :)

Going to be honest, I wasn't sure how to write this one, since I'm white and to my knowledge Alastor's a Creole man from 1930s, so I wasn't sure what from either of those cultures could be mistaken for a proposal. After doing some research I'm going to tweak this ask a bit, simply because I am not entirely comfortable representing other cultures that I am not a part of and only have a few hours worth of google research knowledge of. I'm sorry if that's not what you wanted. If you or anyone has more specific traditions to use as examples, I'd be happy to try and expand on the idea.

(Or reinterpret this as like, flower language, gift giving symbolism by pagan standards, or crow language. Which not gonna liez my ADHD ass really wants to write a crow sinner giving them weird random stuff they find that they think the others would like.)

Anyway, I'm going to do things you'd do for each other that make you both wanna get married. Hope that's ok!

Alastor

It's not so much a single thing you do, but more like there is a single moment where he realizes he wants to marry you. And to be clear, his idea of marriage is going to be based off of what he grew up with and his own personal level of comfort with romance and intimacy (remember folks, aromantics have a spectrum as well and can get married and have perfectly happy, functional, healthy relationships and marriages).

It's probably not even a big grand gesture or anything. It's more likely something domestic and really sweet. Like it's post the finale fight with Adam, and he already knows he's getting attached because he let you help him get patched up. He lets you in his room, his space, and being touched by you is as easy and comfortable as it is with Rosie and Niffty, who have pretty much a free pass whenever.

Yet you're still always so respectful of his boundaries, of giving him subtle ways to avoid or redirect your touch if he's not feeling up to it. You never push, chosing to take what levels of affection he's willing to express but always letting him know you love him, and this last small thing is the thing that makes it click in his brain.

You bring him his coat, newly patched, cleaned of any trace of blood. The stitching is a little sloppy, crooked, and the fabric isn't lined up as well as it used to be, but you tried. He can see the effort and knows you spent hours holed up in your room after patching him up.

"I know it's not perfect, but it'll hold until you feel well enough to visit your tailor again." You say timidly, as if you expected rejection or critique. And while criticism wouldn't be unwarranted, he's just too emotional to say anything. His smile is gentle, a little wobbly, and he reaches out and brushes the coat aside to grab hold of you and pull you into a hug.

You're just so sweet and considerate, you understand him. He's not going to change, he doesn't want redemption, he thrives off the bloodshed and chaos of hell, but at the same time he's still just a man. And he wants you to be by his side for eternity, if he you want that too. He's never thought of marriage before but now...now he can't stop. He wants to have that with you. Domestic life, something to come home to.

He won't say anything right away, he wants his proposal to be perfect. He's going to have Rosie help him plan this every step of the way, but regardless, one day, you will be his partner.

As for what your moment with Alastor is, I think it entirely depends on what you value most in a partner. However, a general consensus I've seen in most of the fanfics and tumblr posts is the idea of Alastor showing us a softer side.

Not just showing us that he's more than a serial killer and cannibal with his own sense of morality. More than just feeling comfortable enough to let us initiate touch, hut genuinely letting us see past the Radio Demon persona.

Maybe it's by cooking for us and talking about how he learned the recipe from his Mama, which leads into him slowly opening up about her, how much he adored her. What she meant to him.

Maybe it's him and you at the bar in the hotel or in his room, sipping drinks, his jacket off, sleeves rolles up. Letting himself be casual and in a compromised state around you. Maybe he'll even take your hand and spin you across the dance floor like he used to with Mimzy. He doesn't even care if you're not that good, he can teach you, practice makes perfect, he just has fun with you.

Maybe it's a moment where he let's you touch him. Or seeks you out for help because he knows you won't say anything. Or if he humors you and flirts back when you tease him. Or let's say he has a tail and he doesn't snap your head off for accidentally touching it as you go by. Or he agrees to watch a movie with you or listen to a podcast despite how he feels about technology.

Maybe it's just a quiet night, sitting next to each other, each reading a book, his radio playing softly for background noise, and you look up to him to ask a question or say something and he's already watching you, a small, adoring smile on his face.

Take your pick of which one is the moment where your heart stops, your breath catches, and you realize that you wanna marry this man.

And then your delulu ass wakes up, lol.

Decide for yourself if you'd go through with a proposal or if you just accept how things are.

[canisalbus]

It's probably fair to say that, as a child, Machete's goal was to just survive. Even as a young adult, survival obviously remained a principle goal.

But slowly, over time, he gained power, and is now a cardinal. He no longer struggles to fend off death (weakened constitution notwithstanding.) He probably still sees himself as trying to survive day-to-day, but clearly it becomes more than that, even if he's not fully cognizant of it.

I guess what I'm wondering is, besides "survival", what are Machete's goals? As a cardinal or otherwise. What prevents him from leaving or resigning his post? Does he have aspirations other than Vasco? Does he see himself as subservient to God, or is it something else?

I'd say his aspirations are pretty mundane. Security and stability are probably the biggest priorities overall, financially and health-wise. He doesn't thrive in unreliable and unpredictable surroundings. The fact that he knows he will have his basic needs met for the foreseeable future, there are people ready to prepare him a warm bath at a moment's notice, a reputable doctor to look after him, and armed guards that are never too far away, eases his mind considerably. A large part of his work revolves around routine, carefully crafted plans and immutable etiquette, with relatively few unpleasant surprises. He's so high in the hierarchy that very few people can treat him disrespectfully and get away with it.

He wants to prove that he's capable, competent and useful. His deeply rooted inferiority complex (that largely stems from the demeaning and belittling way his mentor treated him when he was his apprentice) has made him a lifelong overachiever, which in turn has served him well in his career. He's ambitious and driven but I wouldn't call him power-hungry in an egoistical way, he can come across as overbearing but it's because he's a perfectionist control freak who's obsessed with doing his job well and has a tendency to think most people around him aren't up to the task. He isn't in it for fame and wealth in itself, it's more about having a purpose that makes you worthy of respect.

On a more personal level he's passionate about reading, studying and learning. Partly because he's inquisitive and genuinely enjoys it, knows he's good at it and feels good about being good at it, but also because he wants to be the most learned, most cultured and most academic person in the room. Not necessarily for bragging rights, but to feel like being smart will always keep him one step ahead of the others and that way no one can pull the rug from under his feet.

He would never be able to afford the things he wears and the luxuries he has access to if his life hadn't taken the exact turns it did. He spent his early childhood in a monastery and was trained by a priest who valued asceticism and self-denial so he didn't have a lot of nice things growing up. Now as a high ranking church official he has more spending money than he could've imagined, and while he has an expensive taste, he oftentimes fails to enjoy the benefits of his status properly. He has a comfortable home with a massive bed, but it's not uncommon for him to sleep in his office or forgo rest completely. Even though he could be savoring the rarest most complex dishes every day, there aren't a lot of foods he likes eating. He would like to look pretty but even his outlandishly costly and carefully tailored silk garments can't redeem the fact he doesn't feel comfortable in his skin.

He can't resign because his sense of self-worth and lifestyle are tied to his job. It's the one thing he's demonstrably skilled at. He's worked himself to the bone to get where he is now and the prospect of losing it is simply unfathomable. He doesn't have ties to his biological family and his friends are few and far between, if he gave up his position he'd have functionally no one to rely on but Vasco. On top of that he does feel like he owes his life to the church and serving it to his best ability is his lot in life. His state of faith and relationship with God is complicated at best but he's nonetheless terrified of what might happen and how he might be punished if he ever chose to abandon his post.

[whoresidentevil]

Leon and Your Hair

a/n: I haven't written in years so this is very experimental 💀 I'm open to constructive feedback!

Also, I wrote this with the reader having type 4 hair in mind but I tried to make it as texture-inclusive as possible :)

General: 

Leon himself takes pride in his hair and appearance in general which is one of many ways you guys relate to each other.

 I imagine your shared bathroom would be full of hair products and tools more than anything else, though most of it is yours.

Leon isn't ignorant, he knew how important hair is to your culture way before you got together. Because of this, he respects how much effort your maintenance requires.

RE2:

This man 100% uses all your stuff every time he comes over. You start wondering if these containers have a hole at the bottom of them or something. Eventually, Leon just starts buying the shampoo/conditioner combo you use for himself at home because it's doing wonders for his hair. Plus the scent reminds him of you, it's a win-win.

Leon had nice hair before, but your presence in his life introduces him to products like deep conditioner, hair oils, etc that just elevate it further.

When you get your hair braided or styled Leon always wants to be the first person to see it! He even goes out of his way to pick you up from the salon so he can shower you with compliments right after. 

If he has time I can see Leon sitting in the salon with you for however many hours it takes the stylists to be done. He sits there flipping through the hair magazines he took from the waiting area, turning the pages over to you every couple of minutes. "Babe, you should try this next time." with the most genuine smile on his face. Even if it was some atrocious 90's editorial style, you smile and nod at every single one.

RE4:

Once Leon starts going on long missions he's unable to be your personal chauffeur 24/7, so he'd definitely want you to text him pictures every time you get your hair done. He always sets them as his phone wallpaper to have an updated photo of you everywhere he goes.

During his training I doubt he'd have the luxury of technology though, instead opting to get a Polaroid of you every now and then in the mail. He always makes sure to compliment you on something in the letters he sends back and keeps the latest Polaroid somewhere in his pockets while the older ones are tacked to his wall. (poor guy misses you so much)

When he's home with you he realizes how much he missed your silk pillowcases and bed sheets. He didn't think they were actually helping his hair and skin until he had to sleep in crazy locations during training/missions and noticed the difference. he silently thanks you for that.

RE6/ID/DI:

After so many years of being together, Leon knows about all your hair preferences, favorite styles, and even things he hasn't seen you in yet. (our boy is educated 👏🏾).

Sometimes you ask him to help pick what you'll do with your hair next which either ends with him saying "You look beautiful no matter what" or showing you very specific photos he found on Google.

It's been years since you've paid for your own hair because Leon insists on taking care of that for you. It doesn't matter how much it costs, he has no problem with it as long as you are happy.

He'd go into the beauty supply store with you and know exactly where to go and what to get, even reminding you not to forget some things along the way.

Leon has a huge soft spot for your natural hair, whatever texture it may be he's whipped for it. Loves being able to touch your hair (with permission) and probably asks to help you on wash days so he has an excuse to do so.

speaking of which, I can see wash days becoming an intimate thing for you two as you get older. He'd help you shampoo in the shower as a form of affection, or you're sitting in his lap while he helps you detangle when your arms get tired.

If you have locs I can see Leon looking up a tutorial on how to do retwists to help you out. Even if you tell him time and time again that you'd rather have your loctician do it he insists you give him a chance. Turns out he's not half bad at it and you let him do it a few times a year.

[radiation]

My Thoughts On MORPHEUS

Rewatched The Matrix yesterday. Everyone knows that Morpheus is fucking dope, but few realize he is one of the most moe characters of all time. Here is why:

Ok so at the beginning of the movie, Morpheus really appears to be this mythical figure, and that's how a lot of ppl view him. But something often overlooked is that, as the movie progresses, the more you see Morpheus acting mundanely, dressing normally, making mistakes, and getting the absolute shit beaten out of him & needing to be saved. Seriously, the gap between how he comes off when he first contacts Neo (larger-than-life, near-omnipotent) and when he gets kidnapped (totally fallible & vulnerable) is huge. You also see other characters doubt his absolute faith in Neo and it’s like wow yeah. This is really just some dude who is incredibly driven and passionate, and dedicated to his own ideals to a fault. He acts the way he does because he has a very clear image of the role he needs to play and has structured his life around it, choosing to embody this whole badass character in order to fulfill it. And from the way his appearance of perfection is shattered later in the movie in moments of monotony or when things spiral out of his control, I really believe how he acts when he meets Neo is suuuuper scripted. Like he has spent so much fucking time planning the perfect way to present himself and rehearsing exactly what he will say and do and how he will dress. And its funny to watch The Matrix knowing how totally badass & collected he is seen as in pop culture because he truly is incredibly incredibly dorky

This goes without saying but I also believe he is gay as fuck for Neo, but I need you to understand that the way he goes about it is sooo cute. I mean ok everything surrounding "You are The One and I've been searching for you for years" kind of speaks for itself. But also think about when Neo talks to the Oracle, she says this thing about like "knowing you're The One is like knowing you're in love". We can naturally really easily extend this metaphor to Trinity's explicit prophecy of her falling in love with The One, and knowing that's the case that also extends the metaphor to Morpheus knowing Neo is the one = Morpheus being in love with Neo. And I think how excited he acts around Neo, how physically affectionate he to him, arguably flirting with him during the dojo scene and shit bla bla bla sounds lame as fuck to write but I do think yeah whether literally or metaphorically that's kind of what's up. I think we can be confident that Morpheus loves Neo, and I think romantic love is a close approximation, or at the very least there are certainly real & valuable parallels to be drawn to it

But back to the previous paragraph, the specific kind of devotion towards Neo that Morpheus experiences where he is putting on all kinds of airs trying to mystify Neo, viewing himself as a supporting figure to prop up Neo as the savior -- Morpheus's underlying adoration is expressed through the language of respect, restraint, and selflessness, and a kind of self-sacrifice he is like...excited about. Feels very similar to the whole "best friend who is in love with the main character, but nobly tries to get him another love interest / somehow make his life better without any respect to his own desires". It's very sweet and well-intentioned, but totally excessive. Nobody else is asking you to go this far man this is just you. And it also comes off as a really big obfuscation of at least quasi-romantic feelings, both externally and internally, lacking a lot of self-awareness, so it makes it feel like Morpheus has this like elementary school crush he doesn't quite understand yet and it's really funny and delightful

There is definitely a certain writing style in The Matrix that is dramatic, over the top, and mythological, but compared to Morpheus, Neo and other ppl in his crew speak and act in ways much more grounded. Something I noticed a lot is just how much doubt and disillusionment all of the characters express in living life outside the Matrix, in the effectiveness of the revolution, and of Neo being The One, but Morpheus is totally an exception to this. The only person who puts on nearly as much airs, acting as dramatically and poetically as according to plan as Morpheus is Agent Smith, and like the dude isn't even a person he's a program. But even then Agent Smith expresses disappointment in his own life, and Morpheus doesn't. Seriouusly Morpheus is like the only guy in the movie who does this shit. By seeing himself as a mechanism in a prophecy to save the world and minimizing his own wants and discomforts for the greater good, he has kind of dehumanized himself in a way that's kind of sad. I think it's very easy to buy into it and take his self-perception at face value, and I think most people have, but there are a lot of moments in the movie where you can see through that. That underneath the appearance of a pure legend is a real person who means the absolute best, who is endlessly dedicated and adoring, but suffers from a one-track mind makes Morpheus a really fucking cool and unique character, and has one of the greatest impacts in making the movie's scenario feel believable. And also makes him sooooooooo cute. Anyways I forgoet what happens in the other mvoies this is only about the first one. Rewatch The Matrix 1 and open your eyes and you weill see the truth.

Also another thing I wanna mention that but its only tangentially related -- I think its very interesting how Neo is treated as a protagonist. I can't place exactly why but way the movie is written and shots are framed, he really isn't treated as an audience insert, and many moments in the movie are from other characters' perspectives (including their perspectives towards him, bereft of Neo's own expression). The movie honestly, more than identifying with Neo, expresses empathy and adoration towards him. So it kind of feels like literally everyone in the movie has a crush on him and so should you LOL. Morpheus is definitely a part of this, but I also appreciate the romance between Trinity and Neo feeling equally or more from Trinity's perspective, neither of them really being the object of desire, but if you had to choose one it'd definitely be Neo

Well let me know what you think & Dont try to troll this post because this is real shit

[a-not-so-clean-blog]

Nu carnival x shy gemless reader from Eidens world

Yakumo

What's better than one pretty shy boy? Two pretty shy boys! He's so comforting and supportive and works hard to get you little gifts to make you feel welcome in this world. He thought it was scary moving from the country to the city so he can only imagine how scary it was moving worlds. He just wants you to feel comfortable around him. Silence with him is comfortable, you never feel forced to talk if you don't want to. He's happy to just vibe with you.

Edmond

It's his “duty” to protect you while you're in Klein continent. Yeah no one else believes it either. He thinks it's impressive how you made it this far with no essence at all. He is awkward and doesn't really know how to approach you without coming off as a scary military captain. He relaxes more around you if you ask him about local food. You can see him open up when talking about local food and that makes you feel better. Sometimes he “accidentally” buys a second portion that he can't eat, you might as well take it so it doesn't go to waste.

Olivine

A little confused but he got the spirit. This applies to both of you by the way. You have no idea how a preacher got so jacked! And he has no idea how you got here without essence. He wants to help in any way he can. It's nice how genuine he is and that makes him easy to open up to. You wind up helping at the temple to thank him for his kindness. Just avoid some of his crazy fans and you'll be fine.

Quincy

Honestly couldn't care less where you come from, what you look like, or if you have essence or not. As long as you respect his forest. He may get a little annoyed if you try following him and can't keep up. He does appreciate it when you cook or do things for him but for the most part he's self sufficient. He won't push for conversation if you don't want to talk which is nice. Honestly it's going to be a little rough until you figure out each other's social cues. Topper is going to be your best friend!

Kuya

He already teases Eiden about not being able to use essence, and you are definitely not an exception. He is relentless in his teasing and sometimes takes it too far, especially in the beginning when he's testing your boundaries. It's not all bad though. He likes making things and clothes and often asks you to try out what he makes. It's his way of trying to be welcoming. He'll also ask about your world, different things about culture or really anything interesting. Maybe tell him something he can use against Eiden, I suggest the first line to a catchy song.

Blade

There is no such thing as being shy around Blade. I'm sorry but if you want no human interaction you are going to have to tell him and explain why. Besides being a little…energetic, he is so sweet. He asks a lot of questions about where you came from, and he'll ask Eiden if he can't find you. He will do his best to make you feel at home and welcomed with him. Absolutely no judgment with him either so you're free to express yourself however you want. He can be a little much but at the same time he's so cute. Like a big puppy curious about what's in your hand!

Garu

He is very good about your boundaries and will not cross them intentionally. He will also get between you and others if you look uncomfortable. It took some time to get used to his appearance but he was kind and patient so you pretty quickly warmed up to him. He doesn't know much about Klein culture because he grew up alone in the dead zone, but he's happy to explore and learn with you!

Karu

Similar to Garu but turn up the intensity. He almost bit someone in the market because they bumped into you and you got spooked. You were shocked when he called you slave #2 but Eiden explained that Karu doesn't really mean it. He got into a fight with Garu about it so now he just calls you human. As long as you put up with some of his weird mannerisms you get a free guard dog though.

Dante

Do not expect a sugar daddy with him. If you want something he is going to make you earn it, he does not believe in handouts. No it doesn't matter where you're from, or how kind, or weak you are without essence. If you want to stay in Solaria and not in Asters mansion than you will need to follow his rules. It's rough for the first week or so, but eventually you notice how you've changed. He'll have you interact with his servants and slowly you will become more social and have less anxiety and have started coming out of your shell. It's hard to see it in the moment but he's tough on you to help. At least help in what he feels is the best way.

Rei

He understands how Eiden got here because of the rainbow gemstone, but has absolutely no clue how you came? Sorry but he will want to study you. It's weird and awkward, especially because he doesn't talk while he does it. If you stay with him you won't have to go out much which is good for your shyness. When he grabs things for research he'll bring back stuff for you, snacks or food. He says it's to see how you react to stuff with different properties, but if you like something you don't even need to say anything and he'll get more.

Eiden

Oh he would be so protective! He remembers how sweet you were in his world, plus he remembers his scared he felt when he came to this world. He will have Aster let you stay in the mansion and you'll get your own room. He will introduce you to all the clan members, and warn you some of them are a little…unique. Big brother mode is in full force. If he can't protect you in this scary world then he will ask one of his clan members to help.

Aster and Morvay

[spicyvampire]

Man, I cannot stop thinking about Chalothorn coming to save Tharn and listening to Tharn when he asked to not kill Montree (and u know it's serious cuz i'm using his actual name)

Like that is when Tharn understood what he had to do to break the curse isn't it? Like this is when he went from grieving having to leave and accepting it because he knew what he was going to do while he was gone and he didn't know if it was going to work but he was going to try like this is a man with determination right there, like he isn't only looking at Montee he also has a goal in mind

and I feel like talking about this process Tharn went through but also just going through the trio's "character descriptions" as in Chalothorn being a fighter (maybe not talk about Chalothorn in this specific post I want to give him a whole post for himself), Wansarut/Tharn being an healer/protector (mediator?) and Sakuna/Phaya being a fighter (somewhat a little bit of a protector Wansarut/Tharn kinda rubbed off of them akasghjsgajhad like literally) and also just talk about power levels and who would match who in a fight and how that affected Tharn's decision or something idk we will see

Disclaimer : pulling all of this completely out of my ass from watching the show but it makes sense to me, might not make sense to anybody else cuz these are just raw out-of-order thoughts

I think I'll put everything under a keep reading cuz I know We about to spend an hour on this cuz this is taking too much space in my brain and I got school assignments to do so we just gonna throw it up right now

WANSARUT

Let's start with the fact that Wansarut is a healer/protector (and a mediator of some sort maybe? idk) like from the get go you got Wansarut saving Sakuna and healing him, simply because Sakuna was still alive (ep 8)

Like they are enemies at that point??? and what if Sakuna decided to kill Wansarut when he got better? And you can see that Sakuna does not understand Wansarut's actions cuz like they are enemies! That is a big risk Wansarut took simply because he was still alive, because it's not in Wansarut's nature to just sit there and watch someone die, whether they are from the enemy side or not, and Wansarut tells Sakuna to leave as soon as he feels better too, because Sakuna is clearly in Naga territory and it's dangerous for him there, and Wansarut didn't ask anything in return until Sakuna proposed it, and what Wansarut asks is just so goddamn UUUGHHHRBSGUYAHFG [tv static noise]

I literally do not know how to describe it but like Wansarut has an entire Garuda that is the literal Garuda king's brother saying he will give Wansarut anything as a favor because Wansarut saved him and Wansarut asks for peace between their people??? That's why I was like Wansarut is kinda a mediator, also later Wansarut says this

Really showing even if Wansarut would be happy with Sakuna, this situationship they got going on, Sakuna's presence in these woods, could make the war both of their people are living worst, and Wansarut do not want to cause harm, it would go against Wansarut's healer/protector nature

Also random sidenote : the way Wansarut talks the human world and about that Naga legend of a Naga turned human that wanted to be a Monk, is such a benevolent and loving god way of talking, also the fact that Wansarut is showing this whole part of Naga culture (Naga offering and breathing fire to pay respect to Buddha, on the 15th nigh of the 11th waxing moon) to Sakuna an outsider??? a literal enemy of Wansarut's people???? mind fucking blowing if you ask me

THARN

Ok enough about boyprincess time to talk about babygirl Tharn and how Wansarut's healer/protector (mediator) nature translated to him

Let me start with the fact that Tharn almost never attacks anyone first, and is always ready to put his gun down, and literally never shoot if he doesn't have to, let's just take a look at how fast he put his gun down in ep 12 and the fact that he didn't just shoot Montee goon in the back which gave him the time to disarm Tharn

Also when he could have literally shoot Narong possessed by Chalothorn back in episode 5, the coast was clear Phaya was out of the way and Narong was attacking Phaya so he had "reasonable" reason to just shoot the guy, like hell they even made eye contact and Narong (Chalothorn) just fully ignored him cuz he knew Tharn was not gonna shoot and Tharn really just didn't shoot

And don't get me started on the fact that Tharn took that stab for Phaya i'll be here till next year like!!! All that was in his mind was protecting Phaya and if he get hurt doing it so be it, which is literally exactly what his past self did, they will protect what they love, whatever the cost

Like it almost doesn't make sense that Tharn is a cop in this lifetime because of his healer/protector nature, if they still were making him a first responder, it would have made more sense if Tharn was a paramedic or something, but because his parents were killed it and he had to get justice for them he was knocked off the typical healer/protector path slightly, but he was still doing his cop job like he was a healer/protector (which is what cops should be tbh. but that's another discussion), like i wouldn't be surprised if Tharn's other reincarnations were in the medical field in some ways (but again how do you tell this story if they aren't in the same field of work? that's another problem innit)

SAKUNA

Unfortunately I gotta stop talking about babygirl Tharn and talk about our resident bird

Sakuna is fighter first and foremost like there is no questioning that, but I think he is a level lower than Chalothorn, like Sakuna is a high ranking soldier, probably his brother's right hand man but both time Sakuna tried to fight Chalothorn he lost, first time he was hurt very badly and Wansarut had to heal him, second time cost him and Wansarut's life and that's how the cycle started

And it honestly doesn't look like he match Chalothorn's powers even in garuda form, I think the garuda that would match Chalothorn would be Sakuna's brother (ep 12), unfortunately Sakuna would never get to a level where he could win since he died, and just keep dying every reincarnation after that, and I assume he just keep dying before he reach his full powers

But anyways by the end of Sakuna's life he wasn't only a fighter, you can see he genuinely was worried and wanted to protect Wansarut and he didn't care for his brother's war all that much, he did fight but that was to prove his love

And that's kinda beautiful isn't it? that's the effect Wansarut has on people Wansarut is close to and that's honestly the most powerful talent, like more powerful than the actual magic Wansarut can do

PHAYA

Phaya bird man extraodinaire is yet again a fighter (soldier) in this life, quite literally in the investigation team, but you can see that he has leadership qualities real early on (ep 2)

He is honestly a natural leader and I'm sure Sakuna was too, but on the powers side, his garuda powers like dormant/just under the surface this whole series, the best we get are little sparkles (ep 5 + ep 12)

His best qualities : his sparkles

Sidenote : let me just mention how protective Phaya is of Tharn, guy put his whole body over Tharn when there is a blast near, he is always in front of Tharn when they are fighting, not just episode 12 but simply all the time, like both time we saw his sparkles were related to protecting Tharn in some ways, like this man has a very fighter way of being a protector

But anyways my little birdy you are doing amazing tweety and I love you, but like how is he supposed to fight this fucking thing with goddamn garuda sparkles????????????

Well the answer can only be that he was never supposed to fight it. Like let's think about this for a sec, every goddamn reincarnation before phayatharn died why do you think? well idk but I can at least say for certain Sakuna and Wansarut died because Sakuna chose to fight. Literally every goddamn time this shit has always gone down south and we can assume it is because they fought Chalothorn. Fighting was literally NEVER the answer, but they kept doing it and honestly isn't insanity doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results???? They've tried Sakuna and Chalothorn's way and the only thing it got them, is them both killed in all their past reincarnations and Chalothorn being honestly one reincarnation kill away from turning into a Naga forever

Also like sidenote : there is no sign of Tharn's Naga form, like what we got from Tharn are some somewhat powerful sparkles but you can't seriously tell me he can fight Chalothorn literal king of Nagas with that, like the sparkles were only there to protect Phaya, Tharn/Wansarut were never meant to be fighters (ep 5), like even with Phaya and Tharn's powers combined it wouldn't work tbh

Problem is, this whole situation with Tharn's parents dying and people Tharn love dying did make Tharn forget who he was, so much suffering and hurt and grief from a young age can change a soul, Tharn was looking for justice for his parents and frankly was kinda impulsive and reckless about it, and thats why the abbott's role in this show was so goddamn important, he was here to remind Tharn of who he is (the lion king simba and mufasa style REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE), and that is a healer, a protector and a mediator first and foremost, he even said this in episode 3 and he is right Kindness is Tharn's biggest weapon (and Phaya's btw because Sakuna's soul has changed a lot over the courses of reincarnations and he is such a sweetie, that is until Chalothorn walks into the room)

FINAL

bro where was I even going with this? Idk but back to Chalothorn listening to Tharn in episode 12, I think that's when Tharn got a declic as to what the abbott meant by all of his mediation and precepts stuff, Tharn understood then that first of all Chalothorn is not only a killer, the person he has known all these years that cares about him and his wellbeing is there, he literally came to Tharn's rescue twice, in ep 11 when Tharn was falling off the cliff and with Montee in episode 12, the problem is you cannot talk calmly to Chalothorn with Phaya in the room, it's just never going to end well, you put those 2 head strong (mostly) fighters in a room and all hell break lose and people literally die

So Tharn knew he had to leave, but this time, in contrary to the end of episode 11, he had a purpose, the purpose was to change Chalothorn's mind from the inside, because Chalothorn's has show signs of caring and kindness (again he probably got that from hanging out with Tharn tbh), but Tharn didn't know if that would work, he didn't know if he was going to be able to come back to Phaya, and that's why he was saying goodbye like that

That's why it felt like, contrary to episode 11, this goodbye from Tharn had an air of acceptance of his fate, because he knew it was his time to go and fight for his and Phaya's love, but this time he was going to do it his way, and that way is with kindness, love and empathy, like the healer/protector that he is

[ingravinoveritas]

So came I came across this repost from Al that a fan posted yesterday to which she reposted and to have her say and ad I much I can see she trying to defend ms with the radio getting his name wrong it a common thing for poor ms and I don't think this personally was the guys fault and I think they was reading from a script which I think most radio presenters have I think.

But the thing I noticed also was yes she was trying to defend her parter but also seems complaining that she and the children have to endure listening to the station in the car all the time and that like a another red flag like they literally have nothing in common and I'm still wondering why they still together. Cos I've noticed since michael been London he seems alot happier and heathly cos he closer to his best friend and beaming also. Can we have him stay permanently in London and not go bk to Wales in May.

What ur thoughts on this repost for Al I would to hear

(Grouping these together for ease of answering.)

I had this sent to me a little while ago and I'm...well, it takes a lot to floor me these days, especially in this fandom, but...I think this did it. Because there is so much going on here, and almost none of it is good.

On the surface, I know this very much looks like AL defending Michael, but I do not think that's what this was about at all. I think she saw BBC Radio 6 tagged in the original tweet and saw an opportunity to gain attention due to the proximity of a high-profile account. The way she did it, however, was by making something related to Michael about her. Again. And again, the wording of this retweet takes it from AL defending him to something else entirely.

Saying that she has to "endure" Michael listening to this radio show in the car is just a terrible look, as if listening to something he enjoys is so unbearably awful, and that she only puts up with because she's stuck in a car with him. It feels like she's literally complaining about Michael under the pretense of defending him, and I don't know how she (or anyone else) thinks this is okay.

The thing is, the whole "Martin Sheen" thing has become a running joke precisely because Michael has been dealing with this not just for his whole career, but his entire life. It's something he has frequently talked about, and I can imagine that it has been challenging on so many levels, but Michael also knows that Martin Sheen has been in the business for 60 years, and more than that, he is also a fan of Martin's. He's even talked about being introduced to him at a party years ago (I can't remember by whom, but Michael described the person as saying "Mr. President, meet Mr. Prime Minister"--referring to Martin and Michael's roles in The West Wing and The Queen, respectively).

So yes, the overarching point is that Michael doesn't blame Martin Sheen for these repeated mix-ups, and actually respects him as an actor and person. And when he has felt annoyed about this happening (as he did in 2020 when an ITV announcer called him the wrong name prior to a new episode of Quiz), Michael has had no problem calling it out himself on his own social media. Which speaks to your point @thetardisisblueandroseistoo about her trying to speak on Michael's behalf, and again doing a miserable job of it.

Also, what Michael hasn't done--and I suspect would be horrified at Anna doing--is go after the hosts of a show that he just appeared on yesterday. Particularly a show with hosts he is a tremendous fan of, as he spent a good portion of his appearance gushing about them and how much he enjoys listening to the show. I think he would more than understand the one host making this mistake--given his age and how much more embedded Martin Sheen is in pop culture--and would certainly exercise a lot more graciousness than to write a nasty tweet like the one AL did above.

That's the best way I can describe it: Shades of what we saw in the Insta story from last week, with that same self-aggrandizing, passive-aggressive (and now also kind of bitter) tone. There are a hundred other ways she could have responded to this, yet what she chose was to get in a dig at Michael, plus QT a fan tweet so that it could be misconstrued as her yelling at the fan. And again, in the cases where Michael has called out announcers or others for getting his name wrong, it's because he felt he deserved to have his name said correctly. In this case, however, it seems that AL wants the presenter to get Michael's name right because not doing so is an inconvenience to her.

Those were my impressions of AL's tweet, at any rate. All I can say is that from my perspective, if this was her attempting to defend Michael, it could not have been more backhanded. Glad to hear from my followers as well about your thoughts on this. Thanks for writing in! x

[kyokutsu-sama]

Hey I've been a huge fan of your blog for a while now and I finally built up the courage to send you a request.🩷

Can you do one with the Black Clover Magic Captains with a s/o who was a foreigner who finally tell them about their original culture that they kept hidden.

For context had to flee here (You can choose why) and while here the people made them on outcast because of their culture, making them hide it leading them to forgetting most of it. (This request is based off Pinkies Gypsy Bard (I've been going back into my MLP phase recently)

I understand it maybe a little too much but I wanted to be as specific as possible 😅

A/n: I'm glad to know this and in any case you are free to send me requests😊

I know it took me a while with this one but I was writing other things and ended up taking a break from Tumblr for a few days, I'm sorry🥲

_____________________________

Yami :

Yami could never judge someone based on their culture or country. Firstly, because he is also a foreigner, secondly because he likes diversity, since the members of his squad are all different from each other. They initially kept it to themselves but when he asks them to talk one day, he ends up asking about their roots and that's when the truth finally comes to light. They confess to the captain that they didn't want to talk about it in front of others because they were afraid of being judged or demoted for having a different culture and that's why they preferred to just say that they were born in the Clover kingdom to hide it. The captain understands the situation and explains that he himself also comes from a foreign country and that he also suffered prejudice because of this, unfortunately. When they see that both the captain and others accept them and their origins, regardless of whether they are different, it makes them more confident.

Fuegoleon :

This captain may even be royalty and show a prestigious image most of the time, but he is very respectful of everyone. Regardless of who tgey are and where they came from. They have hidden their own culture since joining the Crimson Lions because they were afraid of what others would think. Especially because the captain himself is a nobleman and that was already a reason for them not to talk about it. Due to their effort and their recognition little by little, Fuegoleon thought it would be interesting to get to know them better, since he didn't have much knowledge of them. This captain is a very smart man and quickly realizes that they have something that differentiates them from the people of the Clover kingdom and this leads him to question them about where they come from. When they admit that they came from another country, the captain is surprised and asks why they didn't talk about it sooner and that's when they say that they had already suffered prejudice before and were afraid that they would suffer from it again. Captain Vermillion leaves them comfortable with this and says he accepts them no matter what because it doesn't make them less than anyone else and as captain, he promises that he will work so that one day this prejudice will end.

William :

The golden dawn is a prestigious division due to its merits in various missions but the some of the members of that division, tend to treat those who come from villages outside the kingdom or from other countries with disdain, which is completely the opposite of what the captain does, who accepts everyone the way they are. They were glad to be able to wear the uniform of that division but at the same time, the roots of a foreign culture and country, lived in the shadows due to fear of non-acceptance or humiliation. William one day invites them to a casual meeting and they never imagined that the captain would mention the subject they had been hiding for months. Just like Fuegoleon, William managed to notice some details that had escaped from the view of others but not his. They assume that they were afraid of being left out because they were foreigners and for fear that someone might make fun of their culture and if everyone knew it would be a problem. The captain takes off his mask after those words, which leaves them a little surprised by the huge scarred face of the captain in front of them. William reveals to them the fact that he also suffered discrimination in childhood because he was born that way. They ended up feeling more comfortable around the captain because they both share a similar story and William always makes them feel comfortable and accepting of themselves.

Nozel :

Nozel was a noble like Fuegoleon but the only difference is that while Fuegoleon accepted people regardless of whether they came from the commons, Nozel was a little more strict about the person's status. What made them hide the fact that they came from outside the kingdom and hide everything that could give clues about where they came from. The captain was also not completely prejudiced about status or origin, he also knew how to recognize someone strong and with skills that could be advantageous to his squad and in defense of the Silva house. When faced with this potential coming from them, the captain is aware that that strength is the only thing that makes them stand out and this makes him want to know more about their origins and past. Nozel calls them into the office and can see some nervousness and fear in their eyes. The captain tries not to be too direct or too serious to be able to put them at ease, in order to find out what he needs to know. They, although scared, tell the captain about how they were devalued by members of royalty previously, due to their different culture and that they didn't want to tell them before, for fear of the captain expelling them from the division just for that. Nozel thought for a moment and came to the conclusion that, deep down, royalty could be much worse than the common people when they wanted, and it was not something to be proud of. They were more relieved when Nozel promised that he would keep their origins a secret but that they must continue to strive every day so that they could be proud of their own roots just as he does every day to keep the Silva name clean.

[ghostflowerhotpotch]

How do you think the spider gang would react to Gwen coming out as trans? I think they'd all be supportive, but I'm curious if you have details

I am going to be honest with you anon, I had been looking at this question for weeks, thinking about it, and...I am not coming up with much.

I am trans, I don't have that much experience with people reacting to that- and I am not making any more comments about that.

Going back to the original question- I think all of them would be supportive; regardless of background or history, I feel doing anything else would be a disservice to the characters, and also, a type of story I really don't have interest entertaining, (Would Noir, being from 40s, be reasonable to have his apprehensions and need to overcome it? Yes, I am interested in seeing something like that? Personally, fuck no.)

Now, it doesn't mean there cannot be hiccups- all well intending, of course.

(Specific characters under the cut because, as always with me, it got long.)

Peter B I see going over the top; talking how brave Gwen is, and that he supports her no matter what, he also reads a book on trans people and tell hims about the people in his universe who are trans. Gwen appreciates it, but it can be uncomfortable at times.

Noir, regardless of time period, would be supportive, but mixes up terminology. The poor guy already struggles with the pop culture lingo, so throwing queer lingo into the mix can make things awkward; specially since, as a spider-man, he has defended the marginalized people of his dimension and is aware of the community, but- that community had its own terminology that may not be appreciated to day. Is a growing curve.

In my opinion, Ham is a much of a man as Bugs Bunny, meaning gender isn't as important as commitment to the bit; so I can see him busting a dress all of the sudden and saying "I get you sis." Accordingly, if asked about his own gender, he is pretty much "normally a guy, but in general whatever fits better with the scene."

Peni I headcanon as nonbinary, so I think she would be happy to meet another person who isn't cis. Definitely would have lots of talk about presentation, tricks for clothes a make up, the works.

Margo is cool about it, there isn't much to say there; she just tells Gwen that it doesn't change anything between them, and she is still invited to come for the slumber parties (Margo has thrown a bunch in the Spider-Society, because anything to spend as little time mentally at home as possible.)

Pavitr: "Oh so you are like a hijra? That's so cool!" (This is a term from a place I am not from, so I can't talk in length about it, feel free to look it up because it is indeed, very cool.) While not the same, he ends up telling more about how people in his dimension see transgender people, Gwen finds it overall really interesting.

Hobie is, of course, cool about it. He is a punk, noncomformist, and "hates labels," he could probably tell Gwen a stupid amount of things about queer history, intersectionally, so far and so forth. Despite using he/him pronouns, I believe with all my heart Hobie would not give a shit about gender roles and dress how he likes, and be okay with any pronouns. This has nothing to do with your question, but I headcanon that Hobie has been the queer awakening of many other teens of the Spider-Society as he strolls down in whatever outfit he feels like it.

Now Miles, is obviously supportive. I think he may be oblivious to many things (I headcanon him as bi for a long awhile, but I am not sure if that's something he knows already or has yet to discover,) so he asks questions, but is always respectful and has no trouble answering. Overall, Gwen thinks is cute how much Miles dotes on her, and reminding her that she will always be the prettiest girl alive to him.

Huh, I guess I had more to say that I expected, this was fun! Thanks for the question and sorry for the delay.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

aita/wibta for NOT breaking up with my bf ?

i'm not sure if the title is phrased weirdly, bare with me. my bf and i are both 18, he is cis M & i am FTM (relevant).

My bf and i are both currently in first year uni, both living at home due to high cost of living in our country (also everywhere else lol). We met about halfway through highschool, and were friends for a while before getting together. we are coming up on two years together in a couple months, and have not really had any major bumps in our relationship. we see eachother i would say 1-2x per week, with both of us living at home and being broke it gets a little challenging sometimes but we call most nights and generally we make it work. Also worth noting that I am my bf's first everything, down to his first kiss, while he is not really this for me. this is the longest relationship i have been in (probably because i'm 18 lol), but not at all the first. however, the only "serious" relationship i have had outside of of him, aside from just casual stuff, was very abusive & toxic, so i do sort of see us on equal footing as neither of us has ever been in a normal, functional relationship before.

Now, the issue: while we are both currently living at home, i see this as a very temporary arrangement and something i am counting down the days until i can get out of. while living with my family is not abusive or anything, it is just very straining as i am not very close with them, and also cannot transition while living at home. as previously mentioned i am ftm, and while my mom is tolerant it would just put even more stress on the relationship if i were to start changing physically while living at home or even asking her to use different pronouns for me and is just something i prefer to leave until i'm not 100% reliant on her. that being said my dysphoria causes me very intense depression and without getting too detailed, i don't know how much longer i can take living here and putting off any sort of meaningful transition outside of close/online friends calling me he.

my bf, however, plans to live at home at least until he graduates, which is six years away. i understand that this is a very normal thing, especially culturally (he is middle eastern + muslim, i am white + agnostic), but the issue is that his mother is, among many other things, extremely homophobic. she already hates me for reasons i'm not really sure of (my bf refuses to go into detail, i think to protect me, but i have seen extremely graphic and nasty texts about me by name on his phone and have been told by him that he doesn't even mention me around the house or else she gets extremely upset, though she is always extremely nice to me the few times we have interacted), but anyways, me transitioning while he is still living at home would be essentially putting him in legitimate danger.

my bf does not like to think about this, which i understand. it's hard enough dealing with what i get from my family, and that is absolutely nothing compared to the fact that everyone he knows from his culture/religion beleives he should be dead just because he is gay (i know, as does he, that there are queer muslims. but they do not exist openly in his personal community). but the problem is that anytime i adress to him that the idea of waiting until we are in our mid-twenties for me to even think about transitioning is a really big issue for me he basically refuses to talk about it and just says that "it will work out". on top of the transitioning thing i just generally don't want to be twenty-five (the age he has told me is when he plans to move out) and still having to cancel dates last minute because my boyfriend's mom was in a bad mood and decided he's not allowed to go out tonight. i know this is how life is for many people and they learn to deal with it! and i respect them very much! but it is genuinely my nightmare. i understand why he cannot/does not want to cut himself off from his family, especially since his dad lives overseas and is extremely wealthy so therefore paying his entire tuition out of pocket. i'm just saying it's not a lifestyle that meshes well with my future plans.

this is where the asshole part comes in: my bf genuinely thinks that we are going to spend the rest of our lives together. this started with small comments, things like alluding to the idea of our potential future kids (i love kids and raising my own is genuinely my end goal in life, something he knows just because i am very open about it), or talking about our future apartment/house, but now is basically just a constant conversation in our relationship. i try not to feed into it, but i also feel badly responding to his sweet comment when i point out a house i like on the street about how we'll buy it one day with something about how i don't ever see that happening. i generally just respond neutrally, but i will admit i get caught up in the fantasy sometimes and contribute to it as well.

he is such a lovely guy with a beautiful heart and i do really adore him, and it's not a situation where i don't want to spend the rest of my life with him. to be honest, that's the dream. i love him with everything i have and i would literally do anything for him. the problem is just that when he talks about this future together all i can picture is all the million ways our relationship is doomed to implode.

but we are happy right now, because me moving out of my family home is not something that is going to be possible for another 1-2 years, so none of those issues are something that are going to come up right now. i just forsee them being pretty much impossible obstacles between us and spending the rest of our lives together down the line. but i have this nagging feeling in the back of my mind that even though i want more than anything to be with him forever, the fact that i don't remotely beleive it's something that will actually work out still constitutes as leading him on.

so, am i the asshole for staying with him, because we are happy right now and these issues are not going to be relevant for another 1-2 years, and a solution might somehow present itself in that time? or is the right thing to do to just leave now, and rip off the bandaid?

What are these acronyms?

[olderthannetfic]

Something that's always stuck with me is Stitch's followers dogpiling me for writing a Jewish Star Wars AU. Basically it was an AU where Finn was space Moses, the last of a noble Force-sensitive family who made sure he survived the destruction of their planet, and when his Force abilities awakened he went on to fight to free the other Stormtroopers. Stitch didn't like that I went in a Finn/Hux direction wherein Hux was a double agent embedded deep in the First Order, sabotaging it from the inside.

I was called a Nazi. I'm Jewish. I was called anti-black. I'm Beta Israeli, black and Ethiopian-American and proud. I was called a Pick Me POC, I was sent pictures of starving Ethiopian children, I was sent Holocaust pictures, people flooded my comments on AO3 - this was before it had a block feature - and even after I deleted my tumblr the hate bled over onto my other social media accounts. I was called slurs, I was told I should've starved to death, people told me my "Jew money" wouldn't buy off people this time, and I got hit by enough people calling me a monster, a bad person, etc. that I took the story down just to escape them.

Stitch only mentioned me once. Just once.

I think the real issue they have with AO3 is that at any point you can be blocked, comments can be turned off, people can find themselves unable to keep clawing at you again and again. You can make it so they have to be logged in to send their threats and then you can report them. They can dogpile "bad" fans all they want, but there are consequences for their actions. I was 14 then and easily intimidated. Many people on AO3 are not either of those things. You can't harass them off their own platform. And when you try, you end up being booted off of it instead.

The real reason Stitch doesn't like AO3 is that it's designed to protect authors, including "Pick Me POC" and "POC TOO" (get it, it's funny because it's like #MeToo, Stitch is oh so hilarious). It protects those of us who are neither white nor onboard with all of Stitch's opinions and, more broadly, not onboard with purity culture, respectability politics and people's demands that you change your content to match their idea of what a respectable fictional story looks like.

This is not about racism. It's about kicking people who are "wrong" aka write anything they don't like off of AO3 for pure, morally good, self-righteous reasons that they tell themselves make them not the bullies here. It's about control. They want you to do what they want or leave.

I've been rewriting my old fic and I'm planning on putting it back up sometime this year.

No, antis, you don't get to bully black people off of AO3 and call yourselves anti-racist and act like you're moral guardians. To be a moral guardian, you'd need some morals. If you don't like the site's policies, get off of it. I am entitled to my space on AO3 just as much as anyone else. I am not Less Than, and the fact that my own people were the ones telling me I was has permanently made me suspicious of alleged anti-racism campaigns in fandom. I know who these people are when they know there won't be consequences for their actions and they're not people I'd trust to run a bake sale, let alone a fandom archive.

--

Yikes! That's quite an experience for a 14-year-old!

[ninyard]

yo I like your posts and twitter edits and all that stuff I think it's fun! But doesn't it seem kind of tasteless to do that about Aaron's trial? like I get they're just fictional characters, but also I'm not sure if the public's habit of villifying rape victims is funny memes material tbh.

I hear you! I’ve spoken about this a lot on here before, and I completely understand where you might be coming from with this. I don’t necessarily agree that it’s tasteless to make something about the murder trial per say, because people write fics about it, people write about how the public view Andrew and Aaron because of it, and I guess for me this is just a different format of a fic, in a way.

But I don’t think I’ve ever at any point vilified rape victims or made light of that in any of my posts. It’s about the murder trial, not a rape trial. I’ve thought the references to Andrew’s involvement have come from a more “look at how we misjudged Andrew before” perspective more than anything else, and even in continuing to make the posts now I’m not specifically looking at it from the rape POV. I’m looking at it from the murder trial perspective, while also including the reactions to people finding out about Andrew via the trial.

The first trial post was originally made because I made a post about the night of the murder and a lot of the reactions in that were “no way Aaron did it, it was Andrew” and then, when the trial starts, people realise no, it was Aaron, and he did it to protect Andrew.

If it’s something that is tasteless I won’t keep making them, but I’ve had quite a few discussions on here about how the posts are being received and have kind of come to a different answer. For me it’s not about what happened to Andrew, it’s about what Aaron did, and that’s how I planned to make them going forward. Even the day where Andrew takes the stand I’d intended to focus more on Neil more than I focus on him.

I know I speak a lot about the trial on here because of it, but I’ve only made one “meme” post about it. I know it’s not going to be everyone’s cup of tea, and that’s okay, but it being insensitive is a different thing that I’d really want to hear about if you had thoughts on that.

I understand that bringing some element of “humour” into these kinds of things isn’t always going to go down well and I’ve genuinely been careful to try be respectful about it. If I haven’t, please let me know, and I’ll do whatever I possibly can to fix it, because I’m not down for that shit. I don’t want to make things that hurt people. And I’m sorry that it has hurt you and feels like it’s a negative representation of rape victims/rape culture. That really has never been and never will be my intent. I appreciate you for bringing this up!!

<3

[beanghostprincess]

You know, I was thinking a bit about the monster trio and how they all respect food a lot. And it got me thinking about their respective reasons to.

Sanji started resoecting it after being stranded and starving for 6 months, he knew how it felt to be hungry and he doesn't want anyone else to feel like this again. You also got the fact that he is a cook so of course he respects food.

Zoro I am not really sure since I don't remember any specific incident in his life, but its probably due to the strict discipline and culture he was raised in. After all he got raised with Wano costums and Wano is inspired by east asia, mainly Japan. And I might get it wrong but there is some kind of occurence where its rude to not finish your food, and its considered preciois.

Luffy has his whole thing that he just loves to eat and its mostly a gag but I dug in more deeply and...

Did Garp use to fucking starve that child?

I mean, its mostly an assumption, but when Luffy first went to Dadan's place to live she only gave him a bowl of rice and a cup of water and told him he had to work for his food. She excpected him to cry but he just went "Ok. Better than my grandad treats me".

Did Garp just fed Luffy if he completed his trainings (that involved him doing near death experience as a <7 years old CHILD) and/or only made him eat what he hunted? Is that what it is? This whole gag, of Luffy being a glutton, cherishing every piece if food he eats DEFEATING THE WORLD'S STRONGEST CREATURE, FOR A BOWL OF RICE comes from the fact that, as a child, food was quite literally just a rewards, and to him food = freedom, and he loves freedom?

Garp, I swear to Nika-

I've always loved the way OP treats food. Not gonna go full analysis on that because I'm pretty sure one already exists, but Oda keeps wanting to put food/eating in a good light. Food means life and happiness and whenever there's an important scene going on, somebody's eating. It's beautiful. It's surprisingly one of the main traits of Luffy's character. I find it beautiful how the manga keeps showing that food brings happiness and fulfillment. That everybody deserves to eat and that it could never be a bad thing.

We know already why Sanji respects food so much so there's no need to explain it. But you know. Starvation? The way his mom kept hyping up his passion for cooking? His whole character revolves around food and how nobody deserves to starve. Eating shouldn't be a privilege but most of the time it is and people should be thankful they're able to enjoy their delicious meals. So he doesn't waste food because he sees it as a life and happiness source that not most people have access to and it shouldn't be wasted.

Zoro's views are really respectful when it comes to everything. Traditions and rules? Zoro respects that. He's the one who knows the most about pirate language and tradition, so of course he's gonna respect Sanji's views on food. But it isn't just because of that because he already respected food way before joining the crew. It comes from his views on life. Food is necessary for people to live and he respects death a lot (ever since what happened to Kuina) and mortality is something real and present to him constantly. He respects food the way he respects death and life and mortality.

And Luffy... I'd say yes, perhaps it does have something to do with how Garp raised him. It makes sense although I've never actually thought about it that way. But it does look like he has always had to fight for food. But he doesn't only see food as something to fight for because Makino also prepared meals for him. I think the whole point about Luffy and food is freedom (I mean, obviously. God of the Sun and Freedom. We know how it goes). Eating is something necessary to live, but Luffy doesn't see it as a threat. It isn't "Eat or Die" for him. For him, he chooses to eat because food is good for his body and it's delicious, and eating out of pleasure and not just hunger is also part of his character. He's a man who's always starving but for more experiences and tastes and freedom, and he takes food without hesitating once because you shouldn't apologize never, ever for eating.

While Sanji sees food as something he can do for others (he's always starving and making food for everybody else because he's selfless like that and the show wants you to see it), Zoro respects food the same way he respects mortality because it's something necessary to live, and Luffy loves food because it's... Because it's just good, you know? Maybe it isn't that deep. Maybe he eats because he wants to and that's okay. He unapologetically eats and he's selfish about it and that's how it should be.