#Something has to change

[freetheshit-outofyou]

Folks, I'm Tired

The United States is NOT a nation of immigrants, it is a Nation of Citizens. Those Citizens often came from someplace else, embraced America as their new home and blended their culture and uniqueness with the United States making all of us better Citizens. Adding to our diversity, to our strength as Americans. Those who come here and have no intention of following the laws of the Citizenry, who have no intention of becoming an American or a Permanent Resident (I-551 card holder) need to go. Those who come here and try to make where they are now in the states, the same mess they left are not Citizens, they are not immigrants they are leaches and a drain on this Nation and a detriment to the Citizenry. Before any of you starts yelling about how I'm a bigot and isolationist, this is my story. My Ex-wife and I were married 9 ½ years, we spent 5 years and 10,340.00 for her to become an American Citizen. I know how shitty the U.S. immigration system is first hand. How shady and scummy immigration lawyers are. How frustrating it is to submit documents to the State Department for them to lose them over and over. For Immigration officials to say something was submitted wrong but literally accepting that same form just resubmitted on a different day. I started this process in Central America where I lived and still spent 4 more years in the states to get it done. The system is shit, that doesn't mean folks can just circumvent it and piss on all those people in the Immigration process. I’ll add for clarification, she is not my ex because I did not love her, she developed a very serious mental health issue that became dangerous for both of us. She stabbed me one night as I was walking down a hallway screaming about demons. She refused treatment over and over and one night when I came home from work she was just gone, nothing in the house missing, no money from the account gone, everything where we had left it. Having someone you love vanish literally without a trace is deeply unnerving. After 14 months I applied for and was granted a default divorce. At the point of our divorce her parents, sisters and brothers had not heard from her. To this day, 21 years later, I still worry for her and I hope she is ok and found the help she needed do desperately.   Sorry, I am venting, earlier today an "illegal migrant" with a freaking ancle tracker, 3 kids and a wife following him got all huffy at for me not giving him money to feed his kids in the Wal-Mart parking lot. While holding a sign saying “waiting on My asylum, need money”. Fuck man, I am a compassionate person and give when and where I can, but my compassion tank only has so much in it. When I am struggling to just get by for my own family, and people are following me in the parking lot asking me for money while the husband and wife are holding cell phones and everyone is dress and clean it makes me question their level of need. I have to take care of mine first, then the rest of the world.

I’m tired of being tired and feeling beat on for just trying to live a life that’s honorable and means something.

[the-ladyrae]

...would it be messy of me to literally block every single cis man on every social media I have?

Like I'm not trying to make a point or educate them anymore. I just... don't want to see them in my escapism. And also? I don't want to be perceived by them.

I'm done giving and giving and GIVING so much of my time, energy, patience, and general being in emotional labor to people who do not see me as a person. I just want to make a space for me and people who identify with what I'm saying to just be without being objectified, dehumanized, tokenized, or commodified. As for me, it often feels that simply by existing silently in their spaces, I validate my own subjugation through complacency.

I can not physically remove myself from their environment. I do not have the financial means to leave the US, and even if I did? I don't want to.

My ancestors were stolen from their homes and spent centuries fighting through unspoken horrors to build some kind of a future for me here. So no, I'm not going to consider their blood, bones, hearts, and souls that this nation was built on a sunk cost. The descendents of their oppressors do not deserve the fruits of their labor.

So if I can't leave physically? The digital landscape proves slightly easier to manipulate. So why all cis men if it seems like my biggest issue is with white supremacy? Various internal biases, but honestly, it really boils down to the harm perpetrated upon women of color by men within our communities who think patriarchy and misogyny are tools they can use to overcome the wrongs done to them by white supremacy. When in reality they only serve to keep us divided and support it.

So I'm just done. They get nothing from me now. As far as the digital landscape is concerned I no longer exist to cis men. No validating comments, no encouraging remark, no funny content, no passing smile.

[crowsflag]

okay but mclaren.. that strategy was not good. fast car fast drivers but the pit wall lets it down when it matters

[invisiblequeen]

Posted a BE-Exception In the Discord for help.

[b0ydyke]

the cycle as a motif in touching yourself and something has to change by the japanese house

[1roentgen]

thinkin

[kingsofeverything]

[dearestlyrics]

and you look back

you're going round in circles

your world feels just the same

your heart keeps breaking in the same way

[neuroticboyfriend]

i have the chance to get a script for a barbituate today (which i have abused before) and i don't know if i'll stop myself. =/

[wywyyearns]

I feel like I’ve been trying extra hard to accommodate everyone else in my life and I’ve refused to let anyone do anything for me or do things for myself.

[darkprincecait]

Dad bluntly asked me today if I needed a companion and/or wanted to try dating apps. Even he knows.

[myownjadedpieceofmind]

Originally applied October 2021.

I am diagnosed with chiari malformation, Ehlers-Danlos, POTS, degenerative disc disease, cervical osteoarthritis, occipital neuralgia, cyanosis, Raynauds syndrome, fibromyalgia, vertabral hemangioma of the t11, c-ptsd, adhd, depression, and generalized anxiety disorder.

When I had my first brain mri, they measured my brain around 5-8mm into the spinal canal. I had a second brain mri last month, and my brain is now 1.2cm into the spinal canal. The daily headaches are the smallest of my symptoms. My body isn't absorbing nutrients properly and I'm not retaining fluids like I should, so I'm constantly dehydrated. The week before Christmas I was given a liter of fluids by IV in outpatient to deter my being admitted again.

I don't know what else to do.

I don't have much support other than my boyfriend and my kids...and seriously, there's only so much I can ask of anyone.

If there's the chance that you could send any good luck, prayers, good vibes...whatever it is you do... I could use some serious help. Hell, I'm not too proud to ask for donations of any sort. I'll make a grocery/basic needs wish list off of Amazon if someone wanted to help with some necessities.

Any thing at all.

[toffoliravioli]

Not gonna be a downer bc the fact that we’re even in a playoff spot is satisfying and helps with the losses

But, that being said, we lose 3 or 4 more and we’re out of a spot by mid January and im nervous so do we panic? Is it time to panic? What do I do-

[lamp2003]

i need to be reborn tomorrow

[rabbitindisguise]

Oh hm. I was doing a lot of photography stuff because I thought it was helping my mental health but I think it might have been making it worse?

I think the whole topic has become a ball of stress because I'm like, stressed over the idea that I won't have an income if this SSI thing doesn't work out and it's like . . . I dunno funneling into the idea I have to get good at something or else. It's not actually because I'm having fun at this point.