#Someone is definitely traumatized
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sea-salted-wolverine · 1 year ago
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Do you ever have a moment where a passing recollection from childhood flutters through your brain, and you almost don't consider it until you realized that it was actually really fucking strange? And then you call your mom, and hesitatingly because you don't really trust your six-year-old imagination and memory, describe your version of events and ask for the perspective of someone who was an adult at the time, only to have her offer clarification that is perhaps a dozen times more bat shit than what you thought happened?
I was 6. I might have been 5. Maybe 7. I dont really know. It's not important. My brother is 4 years younger than me and he could walk and had teeth at the time. That is important.
We were regularly going to service at my grandmother's church. There was a children's area/playground/daycare thing that was offered as an alternative for sermons so no one had to deal with the loud fidgety babies. I think, like I said, I don't super trust my recollection.
There was a disagreement. I made someone cry. There was no hitting. We were asked to leave and then only showed up to church again after that on Easters and Christmas.
That's what I remember. Which isn't a huge deal until you think about how badly things had to go for an entire family to get kicked church. Semi permanently. So I asked about it several decades later.
Let it be said that I am an atheist not because I had some grand dramatic break up with God, but because there just was no religion at all in my life, certainly nothing that's stuck. This is why. It is also worth noting that this happened within like a month.
So first, the pastor/the reverend/someone in charge was embezzling money. How? Is that even possible? Fuck if I know. My grandmother did not go to church for the reverence or the religion, she went for the politics. She's the kind of woman who enjoys holding power over other people. She and Pop-pop were at elders at the church and had opinions about the misappropriation of funds. It gives me joy to conceptualize this in the tones of some gritty mafia movie so that's how it's gonna be. There was a titanic covert power struggle over the fiscal health of this suburban community church.
Dad actually did have a dramatic break up with the bad boyfriend that is God. How and where exactly this happened in the timeline is unclear.
Mom and Granny were both in the bell's choir. Singing and music and fun times. Also quite a bit of homophobia. This was the nineties and a different church down the road had announced they were open to having gay weddings. This resulted a fervor of gossip and unchristian remarks about awful degenerates burning in hell. Mom did not appreciate this and managed to create a schism throughout the choir, starting a cold war of dirty looks and sneers. Evidently the music took a turn for the shitty as well. To be clear, This was not a case of activism or allyship. This was a group of people who believed themselves to be superior for not being gay versus a group of people who believed themselves superior for not gossiping.
The day care thing, turned out to be a series of separate incidences. The first being when baby me having hyperfixated on Greek myths decided to info dump on my sister and inform her that the Greek gods were just stories and fake, just like jesus and the Christian God. This also resulted in some consternation from the adult who is supposed to be watching us and in theory guiding us towards a more godly life. Supposedly there was a serious talk with my parents after the fact. However there have been so many serious talks with my parents about my behavior and the things that come out of my mouth that they have in fact blurred together and even my mom has no idea what I did. It is worth noting that this probably did not help my dads Spiritual Questioning.
There were several other incidences but the culminating moment, the one that wound up with us walking out mid service to never return, started when my mother's 17 year old cat died fighting something in the Bush.
This cat was an outdoor cat and as a result kill a lot of things. Baby me had a very good idea of what dead animals looked like and everything that entailed. Baby me had also not really been formally introduced to the concept of heaven, which seems like an oversight on the part of some adult.
So at the day care thing we are all sitting in a circle, going around, and talking about sad things that have happened to this group of slightly older than toddlers so we will have something to pray about. There is another little girl whose cat has died.
I would like to think that the adult version of me would have handled this better.
The long and the short of it is, I informed everyone that heaven wasn't real, dead things stay dead forever, there isn't really such thing as a soul, especially not for cats. Just imagine the worst tone-deaf atheist asshole you know, except 6.
So, she started bawling. The adult that is meant to be in charge is just staring at me in horror. No one told him that he would have to explain the afterlife today. And they really didn't mention that he would be cross-examined by a critical six-year-old while another one sobs.
The conversation that followed had to be hilarious, but due to the foibles of my brain and the intervening decades, I do not remember it at all. A great loss for us all.
Remember how I said it was important that my baby brother has teeth at this point? While I am engaged in theological debate with an increasingly desperate Day care worker, my wonderful loving and loyal baby brother is told that I am a mean person. While this is arguably true, he also loves me. Significantly more than he loves common sense. Or manners. Or Jesus for that matter. His big sister is the best person in the world, actually.
Queue the fighting for my honor.
Yes, he started biting.
My sister is an empathetic cryer and is now also sobbing.
The poor daycare man has not convinced me that heaven exists, but he's now wondering if this is the threshold of hell. Someone goes to get mom or dad or granny or anyone who can do anything about the tiny heathens unleashed on the kiddy hour.
So, yeah. We never went back. Only my sister ever missed it. Next Sunday, Mom told us to go explore the abandoned gravel pit for an hour or so.
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cup-o-stars · 4 months ago
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The Scoliosis Brothers.
I have like two longer comics that will get done who knows when, but they aren't half as funny tbh. Corazon being unreasonably sensitive and petty about Doflamingo is my bread and butter I think.
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nightmare-foundation · 2 months ago
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Yknow, I feel like Dick not fighting back against the mistreatment of him during the Spyral arc (perpetrated by the batfamily) isn't super surprising from a trauma lens, at least not to me.
I've seen people tend to argue that Dick should've and would've fought back, and I'm definitely not arguing otherwise- but why DIDN'T he fight back??
Personally, to me, his behavior strikes me as fawning. He's not arguing against the shitty things the batfamily does to him or say about him, if anything he's agreeing with them. I could probably really look back over how he acts in B&R: Eternal, but from what I remember, he feels very people pleasing.
And imo this isn't super surprising? Especially if what happened in Nightwing #30 is still fresh in his mind, not to mention Spyral breaking him down and the others lashing out at him, physically and verbally. These things are very traumatizing, and would've changed him most likely. His trauma response being to fawn here makes sense; he Needs the others to work with him, and fighting them on something they won't budge on will only get him hurt. Not only that, but physical punishment seems to be a very real consequence at this time, and Dick is likely in survival mode.
If fawning means he can get his job done and not be physically punished, then it makes the most sense for him to go that route, as sad as it is. His trauma response moving from fight(?) to fawn would be a really interesting thing to explore. After all, Dick said things wouldn't be the same, but we don't know WHAT would change, or if it would even be for the better (since people seem to interpret that to mean 'I'm leaving after this' or similar, which is fair tbh but that statement can mean a multitude of things).
Overall, regardless of how in character it is, I think Dick turning to fawning makes sense in this situation. Being beaten by your father and then repeatedly physically and verbally assaulted by the rest of your family is deeply traumatizing, not to mention everything that is Spyral. If Dick can minimize the damage to himself as much as possible and finish the mission, then it makes sense for him to fawn.
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fromtheseventhhell · 1 year ago
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I want to make a longer post about this someday but: I think Arya's TWOW arc is going to include her coming to terms with her identity as a Lady. This has been an ongoing conflict with her since her first chapter and I think her flowering in winds is going to mark a turning point. The theory of her having an apprenticeship with the courtesans holds a lot of weight and the idea of Arya going through puberty among a group of unconventional women she's fostered a positive relationship with is just too perfect. It would really have an impact on Arya reconciling her personal idea of what a Lady should be. There's also a lot that she could learn from them in terms of courtesies, communication, appearances, body-language, etc. that would elevate her current skill-set and ways her relationship with them could push the plot.
Not to mention she will undoubtedly reclaim her identity as Arya Stark, and her being a Lady is inseparable from that. Arya Stark is a Lady Stark and being a Lady is a social position, not a measure of how well someone preforms feminine tasks. She shouldn't have to relinquish her position because she doesn't fit patriarchal standards. That's not to say that she's ever going to be the perfect example of a traditional Lady but what I think will happen is that she becomes capable of playing the part. She plays several identities throughout the series but she's always been Arya underneath, so I think it's appropriate that she learns to adopt a "persona" that's part of her. Her remembering Ned putting on his "Lord's face" (+ the various examples of other characters being separate from their ruling persona) makes me think that Arya will be donning her "Lady's face" when she makes a return to Westeros.
#arya stark#asoiaf#twow speculations#Arya has been through so much traumatic shit and I think her flowering is going to bring up a lot of her self-esteem issues#I just really need her surrounded by kind older women when that happens so she can have some comfort#George saying her arc in braavos could be the plot of a YA novel?? definitely makes me think she's going to grow up a lot there#she's already one of the most mature characters so I think part of it's going to be her accepting her duty as a Stark Lady#she wants to help and protect people and the best way she can do that is if she has political power#She could learn that first hand in TWOW#possibly through her finding out about her marriage??? and meeting Jeyne in Braavos??#and before someone says it courtesans are so much more then sex work so I don't want to hear it#they are such a big part of Braavosi high life...they're cultured and connected with very important people#I just have so many thoughts on the subject cause I think her apprenticeship with them will serve multiple purposes#the faceless men and their plans...the iron bank...the sealord...It's all connected and I think her apprenticeship with them will kick off#the braavos plot and could mark the beginning of the end of her time with the faceless men and in braavosi#half a boy half a wolf pup -> half a lady half a wolf#I think her current skillset fits well and it's likely she'll learn even more in TWOW#Arya defining her own role as a Lady and becoming comfortable means so much to me
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bisexualmultifandommess · 8 months ago
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Laura’s expression after Ryan says “Maybe Neither” about Dylan and Kaitlyn looks like such a “yeah that’s bullshit” expression to me lmao
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pwurrz · 5 months ago
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being obsessed with yakumo is a job and baby i’ve never called in a sick day!!!!!
#nu carnival#yakumo ♡#you could not pay me to ramble this extensively about anything else#but yakumo’s trauma?? his childhood?? his growth?? his fears and insecurities and how they affect his current relationships??#his abandonment issues and jealousy and darker desires???#and how he’s so scared he’ll hurt others even though it’s far more likely he’ll be the one getting hurt??#how he’s not violent or scary at all but after years and years he’s been conditioned to think he is??#the significance of his relationship with eiden??#the significance of his ‘platonic’ relationships with the other clan members??#how important his grandparents were in raising him??#how his desperate want to hide his serpentine features and be ‘normal’ is a perfect allegory for autism??#the fact that he’s been treated horribly in the past and yet still chooses every day to be kind??#how he probably definitely has bpd??#the burden he has to carry just because of who his ancestor is??#the fact that it almost seems like what he does doesn’t matter because the actions of his ancestor will always be looming over him??#how he’s been hurt so many times both physically and emotionally and yet his heart is still so open to loving others??#how he has a tendency to push down his traumatic memories until he thinks they no longer affect him??#and how even when he’s suffering because of that trauma he would still rather suffer alone than bother someone and tell them??#how slowly but surely he’s unlearning all of the harmful ideas burned into him since his was a child??#and how he’s learning that people do love and care about him and he’s not a burden and he deserves love and care??#and that the serpentine traits he tries so desperately to hide aren’t as disgusting as he was meant to believe??#that his dark desires don’t define or control him and that it’s okay that he has them??#that just because he has them at all doesn’t make him a bad person???#why he makes soup for his loved ones so much!!!! yes that is important actually#i will sit and write about that for hours and hours for FREE#my favourite fictional character of all time he’s so so real#he’s so well written and his trauma and growth are handled with such care and consideration
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pedi-bug · 1 year ago
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I once again have another terukaneaoi au (I love these losers so much) it's a camp au with a bit of a twist. (not really tbh)
It's the summer of 89 and all the parents are excited to send all their children to summer camp, which Aoi and Teru happened to get sent to (Kou comes along as well but is quickly separated by Teru because of his age, the camp is massive and is divided up by grade school, middle school, and high school) Aoi and Teru both have a goal set in mind, both don't quite know each other despite going to the same highschool but both are determined to kill one of the high schoolers in there camp and choose the same target, Akane.
Teru has a messed up mind, he's sadistic and violent and he hides behind a carefully built facade of a kind and thoughtful person so he can keep others from suspecting him, he's an exorcist, he's exorcised humanoid supernaturals, and he's always wondered since a young age what it would be like to kill one of his kind, the kind he has to protect. Aoi is the same way, she parallels Teru even if they are different in ways, she's watched horror movies, never seemingly reactive to them, she used to kill small animals and scrap them in an empty book when she was a young child. Her mother seemingly worried sent her to therapy and pressured her to be normal, she needs to kill something bigger, her curiosity is simply too much to handle and she wonders if they will react the same way when killed like in the movies.
They figured camp would be the perfect place to kill someone at, and so they chose carefully, meticulously, as after day one they decided Akane was the perfect target. He seemed quite quiet and reserved and they quickly tried to become closer to him, and tried to get him to trust them, (Teru and Aoi bumped heads many times, sharing glares as they begged for Akane's attention) They quickly realized he might have not been the best target, he was suspicious and wary of them, on the border of disliking them (although he was more fond of Aoi) he was very helpful and usually a lot of people were talking to him or asking for help, he was constantly surrounded by people, going back and forth to people. He was athletic and a lot stronger than they expected (They were both sure he'd be quite tricky to kill, but both thought a challenge could be fun)
So, they both kept trying, they eventually became a known trio within the camp, Teru and Aoi started trying to attempt to murder him many times without him knowing but withdrawing because the two were becoming quite attached to him.
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qoldenskies · 10 days ago
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Does the Hidden City have any therapists Dontron could seek in the future? Because God love em, these kids are trying but they are. *Kids*. And a horrifically traumatized & depressed rat dad
unfortunately they're not registered as hidden city citizens, probably dont have the money for it (it's not like donnie's. uh. capable of doing much right now), and have a history of being arrested and conspiring with criminals (draxum). although ive always kind of imagined draxum would receive a full pardon after the s2 finale and this would eventually be rectified, so there's a possibility! if they ever did it'd probably be around post-movie times. it'd be a whole process but i could definitely see them considering it.
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cursed-demigods-on-crack · 1 year ago
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Rereading son of Neptune and. I think it just went over my head as a kid but like. New Rome had like full grown adults. Adults old enough to have kids and grandkids. People over the she of eighteen.
WHY ARE THE CHILDREN THE ONES IN THE ARMY. WHO SIGNED OFF ON THAT.
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torgawl · 1 year ago
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i think what hits most about nobara's backstory is everything that's left unsaid and peaks from between the lines. it's the fact you can easily infer that something was wrong without ever having clear answers on what exactly was wrong. but if you can relate to the feeling of wanting to escape a place and the alienation from everyone around you, especially when you're brought up in small communities, then you can certainly understand, if not fully then partially, nobara herself and the struggles she might have had to face all by herself for a very long time; maybe even the importance fumi and saori had in her life and the pain from having to part from them; and, perhaps the selectiveness in letting people in that she later on develops as well.
#the way her story is told from fumi's point of view is quite interesting#nobara's backstory is like a silent whisper without a lot of obvious context and told from someone else's perspective#someone who until the end never really understood her fully despite their obvious close bond#someone who we weren't even aware was part of her life#and nobara's peak emotional moment and the last person she thinks as her life is in danger is her and the promise she didn't accomplish#a promise to reunite with the friends that shaped her and her life#ah.#i find her last line so... powerful?#she definitely struggled growing up and the only two people she kept in her heart from her life before jujutsu were people that#moved to where she lived. saori didn't even stay in that place for long. and then she moves somewhere new and she meets people#and a group that actually feels like home a community where she fits in and suddenly they kind of break through making place in her heart#just for everything to come to a halt. to turn to shit. for her to see that shatter away little by little. and in the end she's put in a#position where she knows she will not be able to hold on to what she cares for the most. that she will hurt people that truly cared for her#for not being able to go back to fumi and rekindle the friendship with saori and for being forced to be another punch in the guts for yuuji#and everyone else that up until that point were forced to go through losses already and traumatic events#and she decides to encourage yuuji to go on a good note and she truly believes the people she met made it worth it#even if it was for a brief moment in her life#i am not being coherent right now but it pains me :')#she deserved so much better#and i will hang on tightly to the line saying that she had a small chance of survival until the end#because she deserves it she deserves to live 😭#i'm taking her from that stupid anime and putting her in a slice of life anime watch me#yuuji too. and everyone else. i'm taking the kaisen out of the jujutsu and you can't stop me#jjk spoilers#nobara kugisaki#jujutsu kaisen#jjk 💭#my post
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riot-control-camp · 7 months ago
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OKAY NOT DONE TALKING ABOUT THE LITTLE GARDEN ARC
ESPECIALLY THE NARRATIVE PARALLELS BETWEEN ZORO AND SANJI AND DORRY AND BROGGY??? THE FACT THAT THOSE PARALLELS PARTICULARLY IMPLY THAT THEY HAVE A SPECIAL BOND THAT WILL LAST LITERALLY FOREVER???
THE VISUAL WHERE THE AUDIENCE REALIZES THAT THE MOUNTAIN RANGES WERE SKULLS?? PAIRED WITH THEM LYING IN THE SAME POSITION AS ZORO AND SANJI'S TWO DINOSAURS LEFT BEHIND ON THE BEACH?
average tumblr user notices single instance of symbolism, more at 11.
but usopp getting more moments of bravery!!! WE STAN HIS ARC!!!!! I LOVE HIM!!!
zoro getting to laugh and tease people this arc was beautiful, i love that stupid cunty bitch
sanji getting his part of the arc done through cunty trespassing, lying through his teeth, and beating up animals? FANTASTIC THANK YOU FOR MY LIFE (specifically thank you for that twisting move he did with his heels around the vultures head. how does it feel to live MY. D R E A M)
LUFFY WAS SO SHAPED. I WOULD KILL FOR HIM. HE'S SO FERAL.
and calling it now, nami is absolutely going to get malaria girl is the QUEEN of "it's nothing [2 episodes later it is in fact a resonant Something with excruciating plot relevance and emotional stakes attached to it"
almost simped for crocodile but miss all sunday was Right There MA'AM. MA'AM. RESPECTFULLY AND ASEXUALLY, TILL THE BED FUCKING BREAKS--
also he has a giant gold pet which i don't fuck with. also his rings remind me of redd white from ace attorney who is Unfuckable as he is a murderer of a mentor figure (other forms of murder have not detered me from simping in the past. in fact it is typically a point in a character's favor)
also oh my god tumblr makes so much more sense now that i am attempting to use it while high, my fluency rate and understanding of how every person on this platform is distressingly and hilariously comfortable assuming their experience is universal
okay but the still of the giant's weapon shards thrown over their head in victory? makes me insane, will never be over it cannot fucking handle it will be crying forever and ever
#oli oscillates#one piece#one piece little garden#however one thing i will say also is i read a zosan fic wherein sanji asked zoro when zoro knew he loved him#and zoro answered 'little garden' which after seeing this arc i sense that that is BULLSHIT#i feel like that's probably when he started FALLING#as there is DEFINITELY a shift in how zoro talks to him in that reuniting scene. like the vibe of that was different#but zoro would not. realize that yet??? i genuinely don't think#like#like they have only been a consistent crew for arlong loguetown and the laboon arc?? (not counting apis as she's anime filler#and i skipped it)#i think this is when zoro would start QUESTIONING why he cares so much about who wins between him and sanji.#why he's so desperate to be relevant to him. why he has to give as good as he gets#and i think sanji respectfully#IS NOT THERE YET. his character from what i understand at this point in the show is.#well the POINT of his delivery is that he has three faces. how he treats women how he treats men. and how he treats someone he fights#(the last of which is implied to be the “truest” version of him--the iron core that makes him worthwhile as a Good Guy Deep Down tm)#and consequently a member of the strawhats)#i would love to see how future arcs handle the interaction of those three dynamics or a more unified sense of self for sanji#because much as i am down bad nasty for him there's this profound like. i almost want to say insecurity in him that makes him feel--#very wet cat traumatized. he gives me “unloved as an early child and therefore has a fucked up sense of self or love as concepts” vibes#it wouldn't surprise me if he didn't fall until much later than zoro#anyways#mutuals forgive me for holding you hostage in the tags accidentally i have had the goofy silly
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iindigoeyed · 1 year ago
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so I don't typically like chloe. she pisses me off and i think she only exists to drive the plot forward. but i started drawing her as practice and now the more i think about it, i actually really like her and feel like she has so much potential to be amazing. i've never been a huge chloe fan and have never been swayed one way or another before. but i get it. I get why she has so many fans now. You could do SO much with chloe if she was written correctly (which she is absolutely not in canon.) like a rich girl who is kind of a bully but aside from her brash and outwardly cruel behavior has the capacity to do good things and learn if she's given the opportunity? with a clear-cut motivation for why she does what she does and a tragic backstory? she knows some of the most important characters in the show and could do amazing things with her unique situation? she could have very easily been redeemed pre-s5. but they just… don't. they don't do anything with her except keep her where she is. there is no growth.
it feels like the sympathy that she would otherwise get goes to adrien, felix, and kagami because of their similar history. and that's great, i love those characters too. But she doesn't deserve this. she's a teenager who is heavily npd-coded and nobody extends that sympathy to her. even as a villain, she is undermined by lila. she is shown up in every regard and dumbed down to nothing, and only shows up when they need her to do something stupid so the main characters can defeat her yet again. it's so frustrating.
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puppetmaster13u · 1 year ago
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Even more of @phoenixcatch7 Possessed Doll Au because I absolutely love the Au too much lol
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sojourner-between-worlds · 2 years ago
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So I know the general consensus is that, post-series, Yusei continues to work at MIDS, and I like that idea too -- he's certainly smart enough, after all -- but also. I like the idea of him just wanting A Very Quiet Life after everything and going back to being a mechanic. Like, MIDS is obviously a good use of his skills and all, but also he's just a dude who likes to work with this hands and MIDS wouldn't really be that. (Of course MIDS would call him every time something breaks and he would go fix it, but he's not someone who likes being in the spotlight and he would vastly prefer it if they'd just leave him alone.)
Anyway, this post isn't really going anywhere other than to say that Mechanic!Yusei lives rent-free in my head.
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theradicalace · 8 months ago
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sooo sick of people calling fandoms "weird" or "obscure" and then it's something you can walk into a walmart and buy merch for. i promise you, my hero academia is not a weird fandom.
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I have written two fics in two days.
TWO DAYS.
This movie broke me.
Send help.
(and prompts)
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