#he also doesn’t trust laura that much yet even if you choose for him to be friendlier so he probably doesn’t want to reveal his feelings

[bisexualmultifandommess]

Laura’s expression after Ryan says “Maybe Neither” about Dylan and Kaitlyn looks like such a “yeah that’s bullshit” expression to me lmao

[cellard0ors]

Eventually they go back to his place.

It’s a tiny walk up above a bagel shop, so the scent of freshly baked bread is overpowering, but not unpleasant.

Travis’s home is small and mostly barren. It’s as if he couldn’t think of any decorations to have, so he just didn’t bother. It’s full of nothing but practicalities – sofa, television, coffee table and the appropriate appliances.

Laura walks around wearing Travis’s police coat.

He always has it in his squad car just in case he needs it. Today, he needed it. It’s not exactly long enough to cover her, but it hides the bulk of her nudity.

However, she does find herself tugging on it, doing her best to hide the parts its poor at concealing – mainly her exposed privates and her ass.

Travis, for his part, keeps an eye out for any potential onlookers. He also shields her from view as much as possible. Once in his home, however, she relaxes considerably,

It makes him grin, feeling like a predator who has just caught their prey off guard. But he’s not going to attack just yet, still more concerned with her basic needs, “Are you hungry? Thirsty?”

She shakes her head in the negative and looks around, fingers dancing over his book shelves. It looks like she’s reading a few titles before moving on into his kitchen.

She spots some childish drawings with magnets holding them in place on the refrigerator – the only artwork she’s seen. There’s one that is – most likely - supposed to be Travis, a child’s handwriting above the clunky figure reading ‘Unkl Travus’.

The other picture has a different art style – this clearer, albeit no less immature. Each of the figures depicted in crayon have names labeled above their heads: Grammie, Pappy, Daddy, Mommy, Uncle Bobby, Uncle Travis, my brother, me.

Laura looks at both thoughtfully and Travis feels a little sheepish as he admits, “Yeah – the kids made those. Y’know, back when they were little. Caleb made this one. Kaylee here.”

He points to each in turn and Laura lets out a hefty breath, “They mean so much to you…”

Travis knows where this is going, “They do. But that doesn’t mean I regret my decision. I chose you. I’d choose you again. Don’t feel guilty about it.”

“Hard not to.” Laura turns so she can look directly at him, “I did appreciate their efforts…the children, in trying to free Silas. But after I got free during the fire and saw he’d bitten Caleb, we had to go. Again, I couldn’t trust-!”

“You’re preaching to the choir, Laura.” Travis huffs, “If anyone understands trust issues – it’s me.”

Laura nods and looks away from the pictures, “Still…wish we could have gotten the bone. Not to mention I now have no idea where Silas has gotten off to. I’m his guardian, his family, I watch out for him. Knowing he’s out there all alone…”

“Hey,” Travis tugs her forward, hugging her, “We’ll find him. Okay? We’ll fix this. Together.”

She nods, but he feels her burrow deeper into his chest. The way she’s doing so…it’s as if she’s starving for his touch, desperate for it.

What must it have been like for her? No doubt she’d been cooped up in some enclosed fish tank, a prison, always on display for gawking onlookers who doubted her authenticity or, even worse, poked fun at her for it.

…for fuck’s sake, even HE’D called her the ‘fish’ girl…

The thought makes his blood boil, but he just focuses on how good she feels in his arms. However, she eventually breaks away, asking softly, “Um…can I shower? I know that probably seems weird to ask after all the time we spent in the lake, but-!”

“No, it’s not strange.” He kisses her forehead, “Not if you need it.”

Laura’s lips twitch, “No more glasses, but still a cheesy dork.”

“I wear contacts now.”

“Mmm, do you?” she asks in good humor and Travis has to admit, he’s never felt this good himself. The more the memories settle in and the sharper they become, the more he realizes why he’s always felt so adrift.

Laura brought so much into his life – a sense of adventure and fun, things he’d never received from anyone else. True, he had good moments with both of his siblings, but neither of them compared to those days and nights he spent growing up alongside this girl – this woman.

After all, Laura may look like she’s in her twenties, but she’s truly closer to his own age and this thought sobers him some. What if he’s not good enough for her now? As old as he is.

She deserve a full life – a better one. He can only give her the time he has left. But, in so many ways, that’s better than no time at all and – while knowingly selfish – he wants that.

He wants her.

Travis hopes she wants it too, wants him too, and he promised her nothing but pleasure from here on out. A pleasure he plans to deliver as he gamely escorts her to his restroom with its glass encased shower.

A shower big enough for two.

A fact she’ll learn soon enough,

But, for now, he goes about innocently showing her the knobs and giving her toiletries and towels. Travis leaves the room and, as the shower head clicks on, he grins wickedly.

He’ll give ger a few minutes alone.

And then it’s ready for not, here he comes…

[clotpolesonly]

📔👀

what we all DESERVE is a canon divergent fic where Peter gets de-aged. whyyyy are there no de-aged!Peter fics?? it's a travesty.

so anyway, Peter gets de-aged to the age of the rest of the pack (17, if it's somewhere in the vicinity of post-season 4, which feels most likely). and now the pack is stuck with a Peter that is.........not Peter. at least, not the Peter they know and want to kill a significant portion of the time. this isn't the Peter whom all of them have been directly hurt by at one point or another. this isn't the Peter who's tried to kill them all, most of them more than once. this isn't even the Peter who killed Laura or got Paige killed or anything like this.

this is just a teenager, and he hasn't done anything. not yet. and what are they supposed to do with that?? cuz none of them can pretend those things didn't happen to them or that this person didn't do them, even if this person hasn't done them yet, and there's so many complicated feelings in there about how they're supposed to treat this guy. can they trust him? how far? is he inherently untrustworthy, as he is, because of what they know of his future? was it in his nature or the culmination of his experiences? is it safe to assume that he won't hurt anyone or take advantage of them now, as he is, or would it be stupid and reckless of them to not lock him up immediately or kill him while they can?

meanwhile, Peter is.............Peter is a lot of things. confused, for one. scared, not that he'd ever admit it. overwhelmed. at least a little bit offended by how these people are talking about him. and, underneath it all, a little....worried, maybe? by the things they're saying. by what he (apparently) has done. or did. or will do.

because even if he wasn't a shining paragon of virtue as a teenager, he can't imagine doing the kinds of things these strangers claim he will. it’s like that frog-in-boiling-water principle. every step Peter took toward the dark side seemed reasonable when he took it, not that much worse than anything he did before, and always justified. but when you compare step 1 with step 100, it becomes abruptly clear just how far gone he became. and step 0!Peter may not be a saint but he doesn’t want to become that. an unrepentant murderer, someone whose pack (the closest thing he’s got to a pack, at least) is openly debating killing him for the greater good and not even his own kin can bring themselves to defend him.

BASICALLY, i want a character study of Peter through confronting him with everything he’s done. it would probably be Steter 😂 cuz their banter is A+ no matter how old Peter is. and we know that Stiles would want to personally keep an eye on Peter, cuz he’s like that, so they’d be spending a lot of very reluctant time together. Stiles is suspicious af, and Peter is viciously defensive in an unknown environment surrounded by people who register strongly as threats, but the longer they go without figuring out how to turn Peter back, the more they very reluctantly warm up to each other.

at some point, after a lot of slowburn character growth, Peter would make the decision that he doesn’t want to be re-aged. he would be more powerful and knowledgeable and skilled, yes whatever okay, but it would also mean being that person again. regaining the memories of all the terrible things he did. and he doesn’t want to be that person. but somehow, through whatever plot machination, Peter would be faced with a crucial plot-driven ultimatum.

whatever danger there is, Peter has to be re-aged, for the sake of someone else. Derek or Malia or Stiles or his new pack as a whole. whatever the circumstance, Peter has to choose to sacrifice his chance at a new life, to accept his past mistakes and learn to live with himself (and also potentially sacrifice a life with Stiles), in order to save them. which ironically proves, once and for all, that he isn’t the man he’s turning back into. not anymore.

.

ask me about my unwritten fic daydreams

[eponymous-rose]

Return of the Revenge of the Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E108-109 (September 15, 2020)

It’s been six months since the last Speech Machine Upper Luminosity (is that right?), so let’s jump right back in like nothing ever happened!

Tonight’s guests are Laura Bailey and Matt Mercer!

Announcements: Talks will now be biweekly, discussing two episodes at a time! Unfortunately, this means fan question submissions aren’t doable yet, since they’ll often be filming Talks for episodes that haven’t aired yet; questions will come from crew, but fanart and cosplay from earlier episodes will still get awards. Dani Carr’s new official title in the company is Lorekeeper!

Episodes 108-109

Brian asks Matt about the tug-of-war with the Moonweaver’s influence: “how much of that did the Traveler and Jester’s interactions influence him not going back to the Feywild?” Matt: “Okay, well, the Moonweaver isn’t necessarily happy about taking on the images and icons and co-opting elements of her worship, but also isn’t a vindictive deity necessarily.” She has a similar fey history to Artagan, “so I knew this encounter, there would be a punishment involved, at the very least to take Artagan down a few pegs.” He wasn’t going to be actually banished; the Moonweaver just wanted to “scare the shit out of him: You think you’re a trickery god? Welcome to the original trickery god, bitch.” There was a possibility of him just vanishing for a while, if there was no sign of humility; but based on their interactions, it was just enough to show the planetar that maybe this isn’t the same “troll of an Archfey” that the Moonweaver had known. “Maybe this is enough of a lesson.”

Laura thought Artagan was going to be “gone-gone, and Jester was going to be left alone”. She thought there was going to be a Feywild rescue, and Jester would have to try to find a new deity.

Laura’s wi-fi conks out. So does mine. Ah, 2020.

Jester would probably have followed the Moonweaver in an attempt to make amends. Laura mentions that every time she sat down to prep something for Traveler-Con, she realized Jester wouldn’t sit still long enough to plan it.

Laura: “If that cult hadn’t been there and she hadn’t seen what a false god could do to people, I don’t think she would have come to the realization that what her and the Traveler were doing was detrimental: oh, we’re fucking over people’s lives, hardcore.” If Artagan hadn’t been on board with picking a different deity, Jester would have stepped down at Traveler Con and she would have exposed the lie.

Matt’s “super happy” because he was purposely making sure he didn’t know what was going to happen at Traveler Con. “Okay, everything around it’s going to be interesting and fleshed out, but as to the actual convention, I have no idea what’s going to happen.” He wanted to balance a complete train wreck with character beats and mini-arcs, and he was satisfied with how that worked out.

Brian asks if Jester ever considered walking away from the Traveler. Laura: “Yeah. It could have progressed to that point. Jester always gave him the benefit of the doubt, and loves him with her entire heart, so if he would have not seen that what they were doing was not acceptable, in his own way, then Jester would have probably walked away. I don’t know if she would have walked away from him, but it would have been a big issue for her. I have no idea what that would have meant for her... my entire character arc.”

How does Jester feel about the Traveler now? “She loves him, but at the same time, she doesn’t adore him without boundaries. She sees a little bit more of who he is, and the worshiping aspect isn’t there anymore. She sees him more like another friend. That’s a complicated relationship for a cleric to have.”

Matt talks about what a fan he is of his players. “I’ve just been enjoying the hell out of this.”

Has Artagan learned his lesson? He’s been living for a long time, and old habits are hard to break. Matt points out that Artagan “is free in a place that he doesn’t have complete domain over, and he’s been humbled a few times. I think he’s definitely learned a series of lessons to some degree. We’ll see how far it sticks and where their relationship goes.”

Brian asks Laura how it’s been to have the spotlight on Jester for a long time. Laura: “It was nerve-wracking. I feel very relieved that it’s on to something else now, but it was so much fun, too. I feel like I kept getting so emotional as her through all this. Having to come to terms with all the things she was going through was crazy. But it felt good.”

Cosplay of the Week: An amazing Yasha by @shiieldmaiden on Twitter, photo by @asheneyed.

Matt: “I took a bath for this.”

Brian notes that Jester found herself caught between her god and the M9. Who would she have chosen if Artagan hadn’t kicked her off? Laura: “Here’s the thing. If Fjord hadn’t jumped on my back, Jester would have gone. But him doing that, I mean, that’s why I froze like I did. I really didn’t know where it was going to go. Thankfully Artie made that choice for me.”

The Vilya reveal’s been waiting since Marisha made Keyleth’s backstory. Brian recalls that the question of what happened to Vilya came up in the campaign 1 recap, and Matt was cagey about it. “When I got the original backstory from Marisha, in my head, I was like, her mother’s probably still alive, just lost to the chaos for reasons that I’ll get to, but I like the idea of an eventual reunion when it made sense.” As they got later in the campaign, Keyleth’s story became about taking on this leadership and stepping into her mother’s footsteps: “I didn’t want to rob her of her journey by bringing her mother into it before it was complete. There wasn’t a beat that felt right for it in the first campaign unless the players actively wanted to go and seek it out.” He knew she was on an island somewhere, and that there was an issue with her memory, but the details were still hazy, and it never came up in the first campaign. “As soon as we got to Rumblecusp as a possible visiting location, I was like, this would probably be the island that Vilya’s at.” He knew the community would pick up on it quickly, but the players would likely be too engrossed in their own story. “Getting to send her home was wonderful, both for an idea of closure, but as a long-waiting gift to Marisha and Keyleth. It’s something that I’ve been looking forward to giving to her.”

On building Vilya’s character: “I wanted to make sure she wasn’t too similar to Keyleth. She couldn’t remember her family, but when she did, it meant everything.”

Brian asks what inspires Jester’s thought process to try and befriend every creature they come across. “Everyone is interesting. Except for Celia, she’s a bitch. If you piss her off, she might just hate you forever, but everybody else she thinks is pretty great. Jester can hold a good grudge.”

Brian asks Matt about the inspiration for Vokodo. “It is a heavily customized version of a Morkoth. I was just intrigued by how they had created this creature that creates this island around it. It has ways of affecting the minds of creatures around it. I didn’t enjoy that the creature was only Medium in size, and I wanted it to be something that was a little bit more changed by its experiences.” He also tied it in with the Astral Sea lore and suggested that it had been changed by its proximity to this volcano, similarly to how Thordak did in the first campaign.

Fan Art of the Week: An amazing Traveler Con Jester and Artagan by @callanthee on Twitter

How about the visions of the living city? Laura: “I don’t know what the fuck is going on with that thing. If it true that there’s a Molly connection, the Eyes of Nine, I don’t know. It’s just too much. We have to look into it.” Matt, blandly: “Weird mysteries.”

Who would the Disintegrate spell have hit if it had ricocheted? “Initially, I would have wanted to choose Caleb, like back at himself, because the immediate threat of that ray towards Vokodo, it would have been just right back at him.” But the runner-up would have been Jester because of the threat of the banishment back to the Astral Sea, the one place he didn’t want to go.

Laura could tell from Liam’s gameplay that he hadn’t realized someone was going to perma-die from that. “I thought it was going to be me, because I had been the one to banish him.”

Dani points out that the group would probably have gone after Artagan if Jester had died right before Traveler Con.

Matt highlights Cad’s Divine Intervention as pretty much the only way they could have learned the important information they used to prepare for the fight with Vokodo. He was torn between frustration at not being able to use this boss to its fullest potential... and pride in his players.

Laura is amused at listening to the characters talking about Jester when she’s not there. “It’s fun to hear but not be able to use that at all in your interactions with them.” Laura points out that even her sister who watches the show doesn’t trust the Traveler. Matt mentions that he’s always being very careful with the relationship between the Traveler and Jester, because it could get into rough territory. “There are unhealthy elements of their relationship, very much so. A lot of her story has been about disillusionment.” Laura: “Yeah. Eyes open.” They’ve set up bumpers to make sure they don’t veer into territory the players find uncomfortable. 

“Artagan at the end of campaign one versus Artagan at campaign two are different. He came into this world a purely selfish being of id and impulse. He still has those dark tendencies and can lean down those dark paths. But he went from a purely chaotic, selfish creature to unintentionally beginning to care for people that aren’t him.” Traveler Con definitely left a mark on him. “Aw shit, I let them in.”

Sam starts Facetiming Brian. “How does he know when we’re filming this?! No. I’m not going to do it.”

Matt and Laura are "super excited” for the new landscape of the next part of the journey.

Laura notes that Jester is getting past the point of “needing to put on the mask”, including around her mom. And as that’s happened at Traveler Con, the small breakdowns have been piling up. “That’s what therapy’s like, right?”

On the new goliath shopkeeper (even with the mispronunciations as clues, I got nothing on that spelling), Matt points out that purchasing magical items is tricky because most things were pulled into the war effort. He was trying to figure out how a shopkeeper could build a business in that environment: “with a bunch of really small, shitty enchantments”. As a kid, he loved novelty shops, and took a lot of inspiration from those memories.

So glad everything’s back in business! “As always, don’t forget to love each other. And don’t worry, it’s almost Thursday.”

[silhouetteofacedar]

Fox Mulder, Closet Romantic Ch. 10: One With Everything

Previous Chapter - AO3 - MSR, rated E

Thursday, April 30.

Mulder and Scully don’t often get to spend a day in court; it almost feels like a treat. An exhausting, headache-inducing, occasionally disheartening treat.

The only real upside is that they usually drive together.

They’re in Baltimore, and even though the drive back to the office is less than an hour, Mulder can feel his energy flagging.

“You hungry?” Mulder asks, sliding into the driver’s seat. “We can grab dinner before we head back.”

“Mulder, I’m wiped out,” Scully sighs.

“Alright,” he replies, subdued. He puts the keys in the ignition and starts the car.

They’ve gone two blocks when Scully speaks again. “I could go for pizza,” she says softly.

Mulder takes a steadying breath. This is progress.

It’s only been a week since the Great Mark Implosion, and things between Mulder and Scully have been thawing slowly. There’s residual awkwardness around them, like the last compacted piles of old snow in the shady places on the sides of the road. Slow to melt, but not a real impediment.

They find a little brick hole-in-the-wall pizza shop not far from the district courthouse. Scully took an appraising sniff when they walked in, declared the scent inside “pizza enough”, and they proceeded to make their order.

“So, how’ve you been?” Mulder asks. It’s a stupid question, but he’s hungry and tired and a little nervous, picking the mushrooms off of his slice of pizza before taking a bite. Scully always insists on ordering one with everything. Thank god she hates anchovies.

“You tell me,” she replies. “You’ve seen me practically every day for the past week.” She takes a first bite of pizza and moans softly. Mulder’s cheeks warm at the sound.

“I mean… in regards to what happened last Wednesday,” he clarifies. Broaching this subject feels suddenly dangerous, and he wants to take his words back.

“You can say break-up, Mulder,” she says gently. “It’s not a secret. And I’m fine,” she says, chewing, then raises a finger. “I know historically I say that when I’m not fine, but I mean it this time,” she explains. “I’m not hurt, just… disappointed. Tired. A little annoyed.”

“With him, or me, or both?” Mulder asks.

She shrugs. “Both,” she says candidly. “But you provided me with sustenance, so my annoyance with you is diminishing.” She takes a sip of diet Coke before she continues. “I’ve been thinking, and I’ve determined that the part of this that bothers me the most is the fact that Mark, or anyone, would base their summation of my character off my sexual history. I’m thirty-four years old, a fully-matured and capable human being, and yet I felt like I was stuck in a web of high school gossip. It’s insulting, being subjected to outdated moral codes by men who have no business passing judgement.”

“I have an impertinent question,” Mulder says. “You don’t have to answer.”

“I’m bracing myself,��� she replies, taking another bite of pizza.

“From an outsider’s perspective, these outdated moral codes and judgment seem like a fundamental part of Catholicism. So I guess I’m wondering… why are you still Catholic?”

Her answering sigh is deep and slow. “That’s a big question, Mulder; one I ask myself all the time. I think it boils down to faith. I believe in God; everything else is just window dressing. My relationship with my faith, with religion, is complicated. But ultimately, that’s between me and God. Everyone else, namely Mark, can fuck off.”

He loves her so much in this moment, this tiny self-possessed scientist voraciously eating pizza. “Fair enough,” he says, removing another mushroom from his slice of pizza and putting on the edge of her plate. “So faith in God is intact; faith in men, however…”

Scully chuckles. “It’s at a low plateau,” she jokes, “and yet this may actually be the best break-up I’ve ever had.”

“Ouch,” Mulder says with a wince. “I’d hate to imagine the worst.”

“I egged a guy’s car once,” she says around a bite of pizza.

“No, really?” Mulder asks in surprise. “What’d he do?”

She swallows, wipes her fingers on a crumpled napkin. “Let me be clear, this was when I was in high school,” she says, “So all the emotions were heightened. My boyfriend cheated on me,” she explains. “I was seventeen and wanted to wait to have sex, and he didn’t. It was pretty traumatic for teenage Dana, so I reacted with criminal mischief.”

“Did you get caught?”

Scully shakes her head, picking up one of the stray mushrooms on her plate and popping it in her mouth. “No. I was stealthy,” she says. “And a good church girl. I think most people assumed it was a dumb teenage prank by some local boys.” She pauses. “In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever told anyone this,” she says in realization.

“Your secret is safe with me,” Mulder vows, passing her another mushroom.

“So what about you?” she asks, serving herself another slice of pizza. “What sort of romantic entanglements did you get into in high school? Any horror stories?”

“Not much,” Mulder says with a shrug. “Though I was pretty in love with a girl when I was sixteen or so. Her name was Laura and she was the older sister of one of my friends; I think she was probably 18? I was at their house all the time but I hardly ever talked to her.”

“Why not?”

“I was, uh, actually pretty shy back then,” he admits. “Especially with girls. She was really pretty and kind, but every time I opened my mouth to speak I’d get nervous and end up just saying nothing. Once I almost threw up.”

“That’s actually very sweet,” Scully assures him. “Trust me, she probably thought you were adorable.” She chews thoughtfully. “Did you ever tell her how you felt?”

Mulder shakes his head. “Not really. I wrote her a letter confessing my feelings and was halfway to their house to leave it in the mailbox when I chickened out. I took it home and burned it in the kitchen sink. Then she left for college.”

Scully hums in understanding. “A tale as old as time.”

“I looked her up once, after I finished at Oxford. She was married with a baby,” Mulder says, chewing a piece of crust. “Nothing would have happened if she weren’t, but part of me kind of wondered.”

Scully is silent, and when he looks up at her she’s got her cheek cradled in her hand, a soft smile on her lips, watching him.

“What?” he asks, suddenly self-conscious.

Her eyes are gleaming. “I don’t know why it never occurred to me before, but… you’re a romantic, Mulder.”

He swallows. “Is that... is that a bad thing?”

She drops her hand, shakes her head. “No, it’s not a bad thing at all,” she says softly.

Scully’s face is awash with blue and red from the neon sign in the window, and her eyes are deep and glimmering. He has to look away to steady himself before he says something he’s not ready for her to hear.

“I think I assumed you dislike romance,” he says, dipping a toe into shallower, yet unexplored waters. “It seems to me that science is somewhat at odds with the concept, when you can explain away all these feelings as chemical reactions with evolutionary precedent.”

“These feelings?” she asks, and he freezes.

“Romantic feelings in general,” he clarifies, recovering quickly. “The heart palpitations, fluttering stomach, desire for physical contact, all those things we felt as teenagers.” All those things I’m feeling right now.

“Some things aren’t meant to be examined through a purely scientific lens,” she counters. “I also firmly believe in instinct and trusting your gut in certain cases. Hell, that’s why I broke things off with Mark. No matter what he said, I knew things didn’t feel right.”

Mulder’s puzzled. “What he said?” he asks.

Scully licks her lip. “When I called him after work,” she explains. “I told him what you told me, and he claimed you twisted his words. A misunderstanding, coupled with manipulation born of jealousy,” Scully sighs.

Mulder’s heart stutters. “And you didn’t believe him?”

“No, I didn’t. It was his word against yours,” she says, voice gentle and firm. “There was no question.”

Mulder feels the weight of her words drape over his shoulders like a warm blanket. She trusts him, believes in him, chooses him.

He’s floored.

“Scully, that offer to elope still stands,” he says with a grin, and she smiles back.

Scully predictably falls asleep on the drive back to DC. Mulder glances over at her periodically, drinking in the sight of his partner curled up in the passenger seat. Her head is resting against the window, rosy cheek pillowed on a small hand.

Scully trusts him, rests in his presence, weighs his words. He doesn’t deserve what she gives him, but he realizes then what he needs to do anyway; fear and uncertainty be damned.

She deserves the truth; she is the truth.

[queerlyraging]

I am affected.

“being aromantic doesn’t affect you”

I’m in elementary school. I’m an avid reader, always have been and always will be. My favorite books are the ones with lots of action, and fantasy, and different worlds full of different lives and different people. Whenever the characters fall in love I roll my eyes and turn the page. I don’t understand how they have time to fall in love when there’s a war going on.

I only like the historical and realistic fiction books without any romantic based plot. I love the Little House on the Prairie books, even if Laura does get married later. I care more about the lifestyle than anything, about learning how the prairie children live.

I finally get permission to read teenager books. They seem so mature and amazing and developed compared to the children books, but they have so much romance in them. What happened to preserving family bonds and forging strong friendships? I roll my eyes through slow kisses and huff at the silent pining for someone they can’t have. It seems so ridiculous.

My favorite pairs are shipped, but I never see how they could be in love. I never really have an OTP, but I treasure my BROTP’s and collect their friendships and sibling bonds quietly. I try and explain how I feel about the shipping to my friends, but they don’t seem to understand, so I give up and quietly listen to their talk of how much the characters love one another, defeated by the overpowering majority who scream about romantic love.

I don’t hate the ships, I just like the friendships better. I seem to be the only one who feels this way. I am isolated. 

“being aromantic doesn’t affect you”

I’m in elementary school. I really want to be friends with this boy. He is smart, he is funny, he plays sports, and we seem like we would be good friends. Most of all, he reminds me of my last best friend, before I had to move. But I am awkward, and easily influenced. My friends tell me I must like him. I don’t know how to deny it, so I agree and follow their advice.

I think it’s stupid, but maybe I do like him. Maybe that’s how all this works.

Our friendship is ruined. He doesn’t like me anymore, friend or otherwise.

“being aromantic doesn’t affect you”

I’m in middle school. Everyone around me talks about who they like, and why they like them. I think that I also like people - surely, liking someone means you really want to be friends, right? I ask. I’m laughed at. I choose a boy in my grade to like.

When I get older, I’ll like people, I decide. I’m just not old enough. For now, I’ll hide behind being unable to date until I’m older, and for now I’ll choose someone who checks all the boxes my friends seem to talk about. To me, it just sounds like what people want in a best friend, except they’re supposed to be cute.

I make a list of qualities, find a new boy every year in my classes. I choose someone I probably won’t see the next year, and am never very disappointed when I don’t have a class with them the next school year. I wonder if everyone does this.

The ‘crush’ of the year tells me he’s moving states after I tell him I like him. I’m relieved, instead of sad. All my friends comfort me, but I don’t really care. They find this odd, so I don’t talk too much about it. I hate feeling isolated.

“being aromantic doesn’t affect you”

I’m in high school. I’ve been a silent observer of the LGBTQ+ community since elementary school. For a long time, I wonder if I’m anything besides what society considers ‘normal’, if any of the identities apply to me. I wonder if how I feel is how everyone feels. No matter what I do, I feel different than everyone else about love, because I’m so indifferent to it.

I discover the asexual community first, and then I find the aromantic community. I’m surprised by how much I relate to it, but I’m also scared. This can’t be me, because then I wouldn’t be able to have the life I’ve always wanted.

Perfect family. Perfect husband. Perfect job. Perfect life.

I deny it. I tell myself I don’t actually relate, I just want to be different. I’m just caught up in a trend. I can’t aromantic, no matter how much I relate. I hate how I feel. I just want to be like everyone else. Why can’t I be like everyone else?

“being aromantic doesn’t affect you”

I’m in high school. All my friends are in relationships. I don’t really understand, but I try my best to be supportive. At the beginning of my sophomore year, my best friend tells me he likes me, and has liked me for awhile. I ask my big sister what I should do. Do I like him back? For the first time, I ask what romance feels like.

She tells me it’s like being best friends, but there’s just a little more. I wonder what that little more feels like.

We begin to date, and I’m uncomfortable. He’s my best friend. Nothing is different, except we hold hands, yet the concept of dating someone… it feels wrong.

I finally accept it. I’m aromantic, and that’s okay. We break up. We���re still best friends, and he still likes me. I am okay.

“being aromantic doesn’t affect you”

I’m in high school. I tell my friends that I’m aromantic. Each time I come out, it’s a new vocabulary lesson. It’s exhausting to find metaphors and explanations and definitions that they understand.

One of my friends told me she thinks it’s sad that I don’t feel romantic love. I’m too shocked to respond. She doesn’t even try to understand, and I’m hurt by her words. I am perfectly fine without romance - why can’t she see that?

I can’t tell one of my friends. I think he likes me and I don’t think he would understand, because he says things that feel wrong. I find out he’s a Trump supporter and quietly break off our friendship. I can never be too careful.

One of my friends says that I’ll find someone who makes me love. He thinks it’s just a joke, but I am hurt. None of my friends understand why I am mad. He means well, but it’s like he’s forgotten who I am.

I can’t tell my family, except for my big sister, but she’s far away right now. They wouldn’t understand, they would tell me I don’t know what I’m feeling. My little sister would try and remind me of every fake crush I had. My parents would tell me I haven’t found the right person yet.

"BEING AROMANTIC DOESN’T AFFECT YOU”

I’m in high school. I finally get to tell my big sister that I’m aromantic. I wanted to do it in person, and I’m not worried that she won’t accept me. After all, she’s LGBTQ+ too and the only ally I can have in my house, because I can’t trust anyone else not to shame me.

I tell her everything. She’s pokerfaced. Later that night, I hear her laughing through my bedroom walls. When I pass her door I hear what she is saying to her friend on call. She is making fun of me. 

She doesn’t think I can be aromantic, since I’m so young.

She thinks it’s an excuse, since I don’t want to date my best friend.

She says she felt the same way, and that I’ll find someone like her.

She’s laughing at my identity.

I’m heartbroken, betrayed, anguished. In my bedroom that night, I sob for an hour, spiraling, hating myself more and more. She was supposed to be my ally in the house, she was supposed to support me, but instead she laughed behind my back.

The next day, I can’t look her in the eye.

“BEING AROMANTIC DOESN’T AFFECT YOU”

I’m in high school. My best friend still likes me, and we’re still only best friends, because he knows that we can never be together. Sometimes it can be awkward, but mostly we avoid the topic. A month after we break up, he tells me we can’t be best friends anymore, because he needs to get over his feelings for me.

I go to my queer friend group and cry for ten minutes before my two hardest finals, because they’re the only ones who might understand. This is worse than when we broke up, because then it was mutual and now it is another rug swept from under my feet, another friend lost because of my identity.

He doesn’t understand why I am hurt, and I am too exhausted to put it into words. My friendships matter so much to me, but my friends don’t seem to always understand. 

I tell him to leave me alone. I need to process this by myself. He tells me that we can still be friends. I tell him to leave me alone. He finally understands how much I’m hurt, after I try to explain. I tell him to leave me alone. He tries to comfort me, and I ignore him. After all, he isn’t my best friend anymore, because he likes me and I can’t like him back, and this is just another friendship ruined.

I am affected.

I was in elementary school. I was a kid. I didn’t understand. I felt isolated and different because because nobody understood I didn’t have a crush. 

I was in middle school. I was a tween. I didn’t understand. I felt isolated and lost and confused because nobody seemed to feel the same way as I did.

I’m in high school. I’m a teenager. I don’t understand. I feel isolated and different and lost and confused and angry and hurt because nobody gives me representation and I’ve lost so many friendships because I finally have an identity I’m at peace with.

I’m going to be in college. I’m going to be an adult. I don’t think I will understand. I don’t know how I will feel because the future is uncertain and maybe one day nobody will need a vocabulary lesson every time I say I’m aromantic.

I hate the world for erasing who I am, for enforcing a narrative where I don’t exist. I hate that people tell me that since I can pass for straight, being aromantic doesn’t matter. I hate that people tell me they pity me because I can’t feel romantic love. I hate that I’m never represented. I hate that my potential representation only becomes discourse.

I hope for a future where romantic love is not the only narrative. I hope for a future where my affection with my friends is not seen as inherently romantic. I hope for a future where society acknowledges I exist and doesn’t ridicule my feelings and identity. I hope for a future where I can find canon representation and not have to guess. I hope for a future where I am accepted by those not exactly like me.

I hope I don’t hope for too much.

[c-is-for-circinate]

So here’s the thing:  I really, honestly do not get the appeal in Widojest.  I don’t entirely see the appeal in Caleb Widogast.  And I’m okay with that; I have other faves who I pay more attention to; I get to do that, because my show is 3-5 hours long every goddamn week that it airs and there is plenty of time for literally everyone.  And I do not have to be a Caleb stan to understand at a really fundamental level that, hey, even if he isn’t important to me?  He is very clearly very important to a lot of actual real-live people.

There will always, always be stories that aren’t for you.  Maybe they just don’t speak to you at all.  Maybe they hit buttons in your brain that remind you of real hurts.  It’s always going to happen.  In a perfect world, with perfect representation where there are stories for you everywhere, there will still be stories that aren’t.

And it hurts, I know it does, when you feel like the story you want for you doesn’t exist anywhere, but here’s one more story that isn’t it.  It hurts when there’s a story that you thought was for you and then it turns out not to care about you at all.  There should be more stories for all of us, especially the stories that feel like they’re not getting told.

That is a real, valid pain.  We all clear on that?

Good.  Because this next part is also absolutely true:

The story that is not for you is very important to someone else.  And particularly in fandom spaces, there is a very good chance that the someone else in question has experienced marginalization on the basis of gender, sexuality, race, disability, mental illness, or general trauma.

The story that is not for you has worth.

People who find worth in stories that are not for you--even if your story is underrepresented and their story really has been told one hundred billion times before, even then--ARE NOT INHERENTLY BAD PEOPLE for finding worth in those stories.

There’s this extra dimension to this particular ship war, where I think a lot of Beaujester shippers are so angry not because of what’s actually happened, but because of what years of pattern recognition has taught them (taught us?) must inevitably be coming next.  When a leading man in a fantasy series, on an arc of learning to better himself and maybe even value or forgive himself, repeatedly expresses unrequited love for a girl who he believes is too good for him, the narrative will give her to him in the end.  This is a pattern and it’s real and its existence hurts, outside of Widojest, just in general in the world.

And on one hand: that has not happened yet with Widojest, and there is a very good chance, for a million reasons, that it won’t!  And on the other hand: even if it did happen, that would not be an excuse for violent or abusive behavior, or to dismiss the worth that story might have to other people!  And on the third hand: yes, I totally see why it feels like that’s the trope being invoked here, and why that is scary, and why it hurts!

We know about Caleb’s feelings in this one specific way and we don’t know about Jester’s.  In theory that means that Jester’s feelings could be ANYTHING, and this could go ANYWHERE, and of course Caleb and Liam would respect Jester and Laura’s ‘no’, and there is plenty of agency all around and that’s great.  In practice, it can feel like another reminder of that old trope, where the male lead character’s emotions are given to the audience like something important, and the female lead character’s feelings are generally passed off as vague platonic affection until the final romantic reveal, and we have to extrapolate what was going through her head the whole time.

We know that Critical Role cares about representation and queer visibility, and without a network to fight, they get to make the show as gay as they want.  In theory this means that we can trust them to give us the rep we’re craving.  In practice, we worry, because in an ad-libbed show where you don’t have to plan ahead or deliberately fight for representation, it’s easy to accidentally slip into old familiar patterns and biases without even noticing they’re there.

We know that Laura’s agency and Jester’s agency matter here, that of course it’s not just about Caleb, and in theory that should make ANY romantic ending better and good and right and fine, but in practice--well, what does it mean, when you’ve got agency over a story, and use it to choose to tell what feels like the same old story all over again?

And right, let me say it again: none of this has happened yet.  QUITE LIKELY NONE OF IT EVER WILL.  We don’t know!!!  Not even the players know!!!

Which, maybe that’s the scariest thing of all.  When I’m watching a scripted show, I usually know what to expect out of the formula.  I know when a show is going to be queerbaity and then quit gay chicken at the last second.  I expect it.  I can feel out how trustworthy the showrunners are in a few episodes, and while sometimes there’s a long slow decline or a short sharp surprise, after 20-30 years of media engagement, I know what I’m going to get.

I suspect that CR feels like it should be more “trustworthy,” to many Beaujester shippers, in terms of providing the kind of story they’re craving--but it’s so hard to know for sure.  It’s so hard to know whether to brace for disappointment, or be resigned, or ragequit and be done with it, or most terrifyingly at all, to be hopeful.

It’s hard.  I do get that it’s hard.

And it’s really easy, isn’t it, to go on twitter and tumblr and into the comments sections on critrole.com and fuck knows where else, I’m assuming there’s a Discord somewhere that I’m not cool enough to know about, and be furious.  To be mean.  To blame the fear of not getting the story that will mean something to me, again, on anyone else.  To make fucking death threats, I don’t even know why that seems acceptable or easy to anyone, but it’s just words typed on a keyboard, so yeah, I guess it’s easy.

Do not fucking do that!  Don’t do it!  Whether you identify with everything I’ve said here or you have a completely different reason to be full of rage and fury, don’t do the furious threats thing!  Just don’t!  That, also, is easy!!!  And doing absolutely nothing is at least as effective as being violently angry at strangers on the internet, so it has that going for it as well.

There are a lot of feelings to be had here, and I’m sure not going to sum them all up or solve the problem of representation in fiction in one tumblr post, but maybe we can change this discussion a little.  Maybe we can redirect.

I started this post by saying that I’m not the world’s biggest Caleb fan.  I don’t mind him, but his story doesn’t particularly speak to me.  I don’t love the amount of space he takes up in the ongoing fandom discussion.  I particularly don’t love that every single time he comes up, the volume of discussion doubles because of people vociferously objecting to every single thing about him.

So I find the parts of the story that are for me.  I let the people who want to have Caleb discussions have their Caleb discussions, because they are enjoying a thing they like and I’m glad for him, and then I host a discussion about Beau or Fjord or Caduceus or whoever, because I WANT TO HAVE FUN TOO.  I am watching this show because it is full to the brim with things I like and have thoughts about.  There is SO MUCH OF THAT TO GO AROUND.

[readbythestarlight]

c2e141 (part 1)

Okay this is so long I’m splitting it into 2 parts pre and post break so I don’t just end up with something horribly long that clogs up the dash

I’m already emotional just over the intro you guys i’M GONNA MISS THEM SO MUCH

"Skin cradle idk what to call it" how about NOT THAT MATT

[[MORE]]

Home!!

AWWWW

Clarabell!!!

I’m so glad his family is all there and safe

Awwww that’s so sweet, showing him the cards <3

"Hey Molly! Go fuck yourself!"

M: :D

Poor Essek is so lost

A night’s rest yes that would be good for ALL of you

Also it’s time to fake his death

"And will you face the consequences of your actions, or run?"

"I need a night’s sleep first, if you don’t mind."

That’s fair

I’m worried tho

Cad

Cad this isn’t allowed to be goodbye

Not yet

Not this early into the episode

Don’t do this to me

Okay, if they’re all gonna stay that’s okay that’s fine

I mean yes go see

Oh no wait

This

We can’t split up this early y’all I can’t handle it

Yes good bring them here don’t split up

So many HUGS

Oh no

Plz don’t

NO

Please choose to stay, Frumpkin!!

Stay??

No!!

NO

COME BAAAAACK

godDAMMIT

30 minutes and I’m already crying

At least Marisha is crying too I’m not alone

"I needed him when I needed him. That time has passed."

Please adopt all the stray cats

"The last couple of years" baby it’s been less than a year canon time

"YOURE a good person"

"I could be"

"You are"

"There’s just a little more to do"

"She’s not wrong. Trust me, I know a few bad people, you’re not one of them." ESSEK

I’m gonna cry AGAIN

"I think you’re a good person" THAT’S IT IM GONE

Aww Molly bringing them flowers

They have a valid point though, like is this Molly anymore?

Jester curling up next to Fjord I cry they’re so cute

"Hey Fjord? I love you"

AKDLALSKAKA YALL

ITS SO CUTE

I can’t handle them

Veth going swimming?? Willingly??

SAM

The DM will remember that and Sam’s character will be the first to die next campaign

"There’s not even any bugs? That’s not meat"

Fjord is describing my entire week rn

Clarabelle is the sweetest

I’m gonna miss Jester’s messages xD

Jester omg I can’t breathe

Yeza is gonna be so worried

"Okay… ‘honey’. I think I know who this is but I take it as good news" I LOVE HIM

Mollyyyyyy?

MOLLYYYYY??

Woman?? In a red?? Coat?

Sad angel okay yeah

Y’all need to give him some TIME you can’t just fix this super fast

Awww he remembers Yasha a little that’s good

Poor Molly

What woman??

WHAT WOMAN??

Is it his goddess?? The moonweaver?

He’s gonna change his name to King Tealeaf lol

Why don’t y’all chill and let him pick his own stuff and figure his own stuff out

He wants a parasol lol

Travis like what even is a parasol lol

So like

We’re not actually getting Molly back in the end huh

Oh boy temporary splitting up

lol Yasha with the "I can definitely message you"

Y’all can’t just bamf into places like that lol

Oh dear please don’t walk in on your parents

Dad aaaaaaaaand? Is mom there? Momma? Are you theeere?

AYYYYYYYY

NICE

MARION AND THE GENTLEMAAAAAN

THE PARENT TRAP WAS A SUCCESS

I’m so delighted

Y’all had better get married by the end

Aw

They’re so sweet I love Marion and Jester bless Laura and Matt for giving us a healthy parent/child relationship

LUC lol

Poor Yeza is probably going prematurely gray dealing with this lol

"I’m sorry I didn’t get you anything, it was—it was mostly flesh" I almost shot tea out my nose

"Dad I won’t sink to the fucking bottom"

Oh dear

That was the most accurate child thing Matt has ever done

Marion is the queen of this place she doesn’t need your cemetery Jester lol

I love the way things turned out with the Gentleman it’s so soft

Jester sweetie you literally told him NOT to say anything back

I’m emotional y’all

Fjord like Jester babe NO

FUCKING HELL

I’m going to stab this bitch myself

YOURE a tragedy

Fuck you Ikathon the answer is NO

Oh my god okay are we doing this

We’re doing this

NO

HES HERE??

HOW??

How did he know they were there???

And Veth just brought her family there too

That MOTHER FUCKER

I can’t believe I’m getting my wish for them to fuck up Trent after all

Fuck fuck fuck how many people can he transport out??

Also you can’t burn down Cad’s home!!

Oh god Essek is going to have to face him too

There’s too much going on here I’m STRESSED

Does he have dunemancy magic?? Is that what that is?

"We had issues larger than your ambitions" OOOO BURN

Suck a dick Trent

"Erase these errors, so I don’t have to look at it" FUCK YOU

What is happening holy shit

What is this????

Run Luc and Yeza run!!

Poor things :(

Poor Caliope

Poor Clays

Essek booiiii

Oh my god I looked at the stats on this spell and it’s BAD

THE COLLAR

NO

What

Wilting what what what

Counterspell

Thank god

NO

NOOO

53?!

IN ONE HIT??

AND HES SPOILING THE FOREST TOO

NO NOT AT JESTER

FUUUUUCK

Oh my god he rolled BAD thank god

I was just saying thank god he’s alone at least but NOPE

Astrid had better not wait in the shadows to see who looks like they’re going to win and then only joining the winning side

Caleb protecting his maaaaaan

FUCKING STOP

DID HE COUNTERSPELL

THAT BITCH

THAT FUCKING BITCH

NO NO NO

they’re so FUCKED

Thank fucking god

COUNTERSPELL PLEASE WORK

YESSSSS

I don’t care what Astrid’s game is I’m tired of it and she needs to die along with Trent

And so does Wulf if he’s gonna play the same game

Come onnnn Wulf do the right thing

Mood, Fjord, mood

MARISHA xD

Ooooooh nice!

“Caleb’s produce flame” her one wizard spell is a Caleb spell omg

FLUFFERNUTTERRRRRR

Nice SHOT Veth

WHAT

Come ON

Why can’t they hit him??

Come onnnn Essek do something baby

Oooooo! So what does that mean?

Does that mean when one takes damage the other does too?? That’s amazing

Caleb noooooo

Thank god

Hits??

COME ONNNNN

Ouch

Okay but the stars haven’t done as much damage as they COULD yet which is good

STOP calling him Bren

Fucking HELL come on

WORK?? WOOOORK???

DID IT

YESSSSS

YEAAHHHH CALEB

Oh thank God

Too little too late bitch

Wulf is gonna die though I can feel it

A second shield UGH

No you stay AWAY from Caleb

Come ooooon Jester!

YEAH

Nice!

“Come ooooon!” Boy you’re tethered either way

I have a feeling we have too much time left until break for the collar to work but GOD I hope it works

E: “Caleb! I’m scared!”

I shouldn’t be laughing but I am

VETH NOW

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

PLEEEEEASE

God god god

21

Godddds

NO

come onnnnnn

AH

IT WORKED

IT WORKED IT WORKED IT WORKED

ITS ON HIM

ACTIVATE IT

A C T I V A T E I T

NO NOPE NOPE NOPE

COUNTERSPELL IT FJORD

DO IT

YAAAAAS

Good Wulf smart man

Ouch oh shit Caleb no

Oh NO

Caleb!!

Wulf, Astrid, soembody DO

CADUCEUS MY MAN THANK YOU

What does Caduceus say to the god of death? NOT TODAY (respectfully)

70 HP niiiiice!

Hot DAMN Veth nice call I love it

Oh come ON

Activate it!!

I still hate Astrid but fine

AHHHHHHHHHHHH

[yootaesowlwrites]

Serendipity - [9]

Serendipity Mainpost.

Chapter 9: Day 10.

Word Count: 7 152

Italics indicate they’re speaking in another language, it also indicates that I don’t trust a translator enough to translate these things for me anymore.

Taglist:

@taichoushadow​ // @taeandpuppies​ // @jakiki94​

Tae had slept in late and missed the opportunity to meet with Sofia at the lake to watch the sunrise, when he checked the time on his phone, he could feel his mood slightly deflate, he stood from the bed and begins preparing for the day ahead, thinking of ideas and places, they might have gone out just yesterday, but he still had so many questions, so many things to learn about her, hoping she wouldn’t mind going to a museum with him.

Sofia takes a sip from her cup of hot chocolate while watching her two friends, they were trying to pick one of the board games that had been found in the cabin to play, a knock turns her attention away from them and to the door, she placed her cup down on the dining table and makes her way to the for, with a turn of the knob she pulls the door open to reveal Tae on the other side with a smile on his lips.

“Hi,” Tae says, his tone almost causing Sofia to melt, it sounded to beautifully deep.

“Hi,” Sofia says. “Good morning.” Although it was almost noon, but seeing as there was still 27 minutes remaining until the morning was officially over.

“Good morning,” Tae says. “Did you sleep well?” Sofia nods her head as a soft smile tugs at the corner of her lips.

“I did, it was nice and peaceful,” Sofia says, although, he would probably not think it was, but to her, it was peaceful enough. “What about you? How did you sleep?”

“Oh, I slept good, thank you for asking,” Tae says.

“That’s good to hear.” She says.

“So uh, I’m here for a reason, because I was wondering if you’d like to go somewhere with me?” Tae asks. “I realise that we just went somewhere yesterday, but I would like to spend more time with you and get to know you a bit more.” She could feel an exciting feeling erupt in the pit of her stomach, almost like butterflies erupting. “If you’re not busy, I’d like to take you out again.”

“Where do you plan on taking me?” Sofia asks as she shifts her weight onto one side, her heart rate slightly picking up.

“Do you like art museums?” Tae asks. “Or art?” She nods her head before stopping, she looks over her shoulder at her two friends, Laura and Bianca, they were still engaged in choosing a board game to play, she looks back at him, a sympathetic smile on her lips.

“Do you want to come in for a minute?” She asks. “I just want to tell them and then go and grab my coat.” Tae nods his head, she steps back allowing him into the cabin, she closes the door behind him before making her way to the dining table, Laura and Bianca look up at her as she approached the table before looking behind her and sees a familiar face, Tae lifts his hand and waves at them.

“Morning,” Tae says.

“Morning.” Laura and Bianca say simultaneously before looking up at Sofia.

“Going out?” Laura asks, Sofia nods her head.

“If it’s okay with you two, otherwise I can stay,” Sofia says, Laura and Bianca shake their heads.

“No, no, go and enjoy what it is you’re planning on doing,” Laura says.

“Are you sure?” Sofia asks.

“Yes, we’re sure, right, Bianca?” Laura asks as she turns to look at Bianca, Bianca nods her head while looking up at Sofia, Sofia staring back at her.

“We won’t mind,” Bianca says, Sofia smiles at them before going upstairs to retrieve her coat, Laura and Bianca turn their attention to Tae before looks at each other, they nod at each other before getting up and begin to approach Tae. “So, you’re taking our friend out on another date, huh?” They stop on either side of him, staring at him, trying their best to hold back their smiles. “You better treat her with respect, or you’ll have to deal with us.”

“You will have to sleep with one eye open if you did,” Laura says, Tae looks from side to side between them, unsure if they were playing around or actually giving him a warning, Sofia steps down the stairs before coming to a stop once she reached the bottom and sees her two friends almost cornering Tae.

“Are you two threatening him?” Sofia asks, Laura and Bianca take a step away from Tae, still trying not to crack a smile or burst out in laughter.

“No.’ Laura says, Sofia pulls her coat on as she approaches Tae.

“We were just warning him,” Bianca says.

“I’m sorry about them, they’re actually harmless,” Sofia says as she looks at her friends.

“Harmless?” Bianca asks. “We are fierce!”

“Exactly.” Laura agrees, Sofia turns to look at them before shaking her head.

“Harmless,” Sofia says, Tae could feel himself relaxing. “Until you make them angry.”

“What?” Tae asks as Sofia now stares at him, his facial expression breaking Laura and Bianca, they burst out laughing which quickly made Tae realize that they were playing with him, but he was also well aware that they could instantly turn on him if he did hurt their friend, which he wasn’t planning on doing.

The radio softly plays in the background, the snow shimmering from the weak sun rays shining down on it, the tree’s flying by as Tae drives them to the nearest town, he glances at her and sees her staring out the window, his gaze moves back to the road.

“I’m a little curious.” Tae begins causing Sofia to look away from the outside and at him. “You said that you met your friends online, would you mind telling me how you met them?” She nods her head, her mind trailing back to when she first met the two of them. “I’m just curious, you don’t have to share.”

“No, no, I don’t mind sharing,” Sofia says. “I met them at different times but on the same sight.” Tae nods his head and listens to her story as she begins telling it.

They step into the museum, their steps almost matching with one another as they walked, hands inches away from touching and joy lighting up their eyes as they stare at the art with mesmerization, everything looked absolutely beautiful.

They come to a halt in front of a painting and begins admiring it for a moment.

“I think this was just outside the town,” Tae says.

“It does look familiar,” Sofia says before leaning closer, she reads the plaque beneath the painting. “Oh, yeah, it definitely is just outside the town.” She leans away from the plaque. “Take a look.” Tae leans closer and reads the plaque.

“Hm.” Tae hums. “We drove past this just a few minutes ago.” The piece of art had been painted so delicately it almost appeared to be a photograph, but upon a closer inspection, the delicate brush strokes could be seen.

“It looks unreal,” Sofia says as they slowly move away from the painting, they stop in front of another one, inspecting it for a minute, she tilts her head to the side and placed one arm over her chest and lifted her other hand to her face, placing her elbow in the hand across the chest, thinking for a moment as she stared at the painting, she turns her gaze to Tae, his lips were pursed as he stared at the piece of art, he moves his gaze to the side and saw her already staring at him, he turns his head to look at her.

“I have this feeling that you don’t like it that much,” Tae says, Sofia softly chuckles as she lets her arms move back down to her sides.

“How can you tell?” Sofia asks, he turns his body to face her.

“You have this look in your eyes, it’s almost questioning the art,” Tae says. “And you’re pouting.” Her lips part she slowly turns her body to face him. “You look cute with a pout.” His eyes fell to her lips for a split second, seeing how soft they looked, how kissable they appeared, his gaze moves back to her eyes.

“I uh…” Sofia begins, his words stunning her a little. “I uh, didn’t even…”

“It’s okay, this one isn’t as amusing as the last one,” Tae says, she turns to look at the painting before looking back at him.

“It just doesn’t make sense to me,” Sofia says, hoping that she could recover from his words. “I feel bad for the person in the painting, they must have been so stiff and sore afterwards.” She lifts one arm halfway into the air and turns her head slightly. “How long did they have to stay like this? It feels uncomfortable.” Tae softly chuckles as he watches her, he lifts one hand into the air halfway and slightly tilts his head back before turning it and twists his leg in an awkward position.

“Yeah, I feel bad for that person,” Tae says, Sofia lowers her arm back to her side as she now stared at him, he stood in an uncomfortable position, the same pose as the person in the painting, her eyes slowly move down before seeing how he had twisted his leg.

“Oh my g— no, no, stop, that looks like it’s painful,” Sofia says, he lowers his arm as he untwists his leg. “That just looks so uncomfortable.” A toothy grin on his lips, his eyes closing halfway with joy.

“It felt uncomfortable,” Tae says, the room around them felt like it slightly fades, the people around them became nothing but a blurred image as they stared into each other’s eyes, the noise surrounding them faded into nothingness, she could hear heart rate in her ears, slow and steady, his warm eyes almost staring into her soul, wanting to know her, wanting to know everything about her, from her darkest secret to her darkest desires, with a click of her tongue as she begins to talk, the trance between them shattered, and everything around them returned to normal.

“We should uh… should continue our tour, you didn’t buy us an entry fee for us to stand here,” Sofia says in a warm soft tone.

Yet, you’re the only piece of art in this room.

That was what he wanted to say, instead, he kept it to himself and decided to say something else.

“Right, uh, I think the one over there could be uh, interesting,” Tae says as he points past her and at a statue in the middle of the room, she looks over her shoulder, slightly turning her body to she could fully see it.

“Oh.” Sofia breathes out as she turns around and moves towards the statue, Tae follows behind her until they reach it, she stares at it before noticing some movement next to her, she turns her head to look at Tae, only to see him trying to copy the statue’s pose, which caused her to laugh, a wide smile appears on his lips when he heard her laugh, he looks at her as he continues to try and act out the pose but failing to find the balance.

“This is harder than it looks,” Tae says as he glanced at the statue before stopping his movements, Sofia had her hand over her mouth as she tried to muffle her laughter, which wasn’t working. “Hey, no, you shouldn’t cover your mouth when you’re smiling.” Her laughter slowly dies down. “Your smile could make a lot of people smile also.” He didn’t just say it because he wanted to see her smile, he meant it, a smile from someone could stretch around the globe, sometimes someone just needed a smile to have their day turned around. “Show us your beautiful smile.” She slowly lowers her hand, his smile reaching his eyes as he saw her smile. “See, you already caused someone to smile.”

“You are— gosh, I can’t even find the right words right now,” Sofia says and moves towards another art piece while shaking her head, the smile never once leaving her lips, Tae quickly follows behind her and catches up with her, he looks at her as they slowly move towards another piece of art.

“Too cheesy?” Tae asks, she looks at him.

“Hm, I wouldn’t say that,” Sofia says, his hand brushed against hers, she glanced down at their hands before looking back up at him, the feeling of his warm hand brushing against hers felt… nice, warm and comforting.

“I uh, I saw they offer painting classes, we should, if you want to, of course, take a lesson some time?” He suggests.

Laura and Bianca had decided on one of the board games they had discovered in the cabin that morning, monopoly, and had started setting everything up on the dining table.

“Ugh, I don’t remember the rules,” Bianca says as she picks up the box, she turns it over. “It’s been years.” Her eyes quickly move over the back of the box as she searches for the rules.

“Years?” Laura asks. “How long do you mean by years?” Laura stood from the dining chair and moves towards the kitchen, Bianca lowers the box and looks at Laura.

“I uh… um, I think was… um.” Bianca begins only to stop, she looks up as she tilts her head, thinking for a moment. “Uh, when I was twelve? I think I’m not sure.” Laura opens one of the cabinets, the snack cabinet as they had dubbed it, she takes out a dark chocolate bar.

“Twelve? That was years ago!” Laura says while closing the cabinet door, she walks back to the table and sits down. “No wonder you don’t remember the rules anymore.” Bianca placed the box down on the table, a slight pout on her lips.

“Let’s just open tumblr and find a question list thingy to ask each other,” Bianca says while pushing the board aside. “It sounds easier than trying to learn the rules again.” Laura opens her chocolate bar while nodding her head.

“If that’s what you want to do,” Laura says. “I’m not going to say no to an opportunity to get to know you some more.” Bianca picks her phone and locks it.

“I’ll clean this up in a minute,” Bianca says while tapping on the tumblr app, Laura takes a bite from the chocolate bar. “Delicious?” Laura nods her head, a smile forming on her lips.

“Very much, thank you for asking,” Laura answers after swallowing. “Did you find anything?”

“Yup,” Bianca says and placed her phone in the middle of the table. “Do you want to go first?”

Tae parks the car in front of the large cabin and cuts the engine, he takes the keys out from the ignition and turns his head to look at her.

“Thank you for taking me with you,” Sofia says while looking at him, a soft smile on her lips, the time she had spent with him was absolutely amazing and peaceful. “I enjoyed it.”

“I should be thanking you.” Tae says, “For coming along with me.”

“You came to invite me if you hadn’t…” Sofia says, Tae softly giggles while nodding his head. “It was fun, I hope you’ll invite me along for more adventures.”

“I definitely will,” Tae says, they climb out of the car and Tae quickly walks around the car to join her, walking with her to the cabin door, the snow being crushed beneath their feet and sticking to the soles of their shoes, they reach the front door and Sofia places her hand on the knob and opens it, both she and Tae were hit with the smell of food, she steps into the cabin and saw Laura and Bianca busy in the kitchen, they look up from the pot and smile when they saw Sofia standing in the door.

“Welcome home!” Laura and Bianca say simultaneously, they spot Tae standing behind her still outside the cabin.

“Bianca’s making us curry.” Laura says. “Is he hungry?” She asks while nodding her head towards Tae, Sofia turns around to face Tae.

“I uh, would you like to join us for lunch?” Sofia asks.

“No, it’s okay, although it smells delicious,” Tae says. “I should probably get back to the cabin, they’re probably wondering where I am.”

“Are you sure?” Sofia asks.

“She made enough for an entire military base,” Laura says.

“I made enough for dinner,” Bianca says.

“Are you sure?” Laura asks. “Because it seems like we will have enough until tomorrow night,” Laura states as she looks into the pot.

“That’s good news then, we won’t have to worry about making food for tonight or tomorrow,” Bianca says and turns her gaze to Tae. “So, if you want to stay for lunch, we have enough.” Sofia had turned herself to look at Laura and Bianca as well.

“The offer sounds inviting, but maybe next time?” Tae says.

“More for us,” Bianca says while looking back at the pot.

“Hey, that’s rude,” Laura says.

“But it’s true,” Bianca says, she looks back at Tae. “I don’t mean it in a rude way.” Sofia looks back at Tae.

“Definitely another time then,” Tae says. “Thank you again, for today, for coming along.”

“Thank you for coming to invite me along,” Sofia says.

It was almost 5:30 pm, and they had found some cards next to the stack of board games when they were cleaning up, they were seated at the dining table, each of them holding a few cards in hand, staring at each other.

“Do you have any 3’s?” Sofia asks, Bianca takes a card from her stack and hands it to Sofia.

“Go fish,” Laura says, Sofia reaches for the stack of cards on the table and takes one, adding it to her collecting.

“7’s anyone,” Laura asks.

“I just took this.: Sofia says while handing the card she had just taken from the stack on the table to Laura, Bianca takes one card from her collecting and hands it to Laura.

“Oh, I just need one more,” Laura says, a sudden knock on the door interrupts their game, they look at each other before Bianca placed her cards face down on the table.

“I’ll go see who it is,” Bianca says as she stood from the dining chair. “Oh and don’t look at my cards.”

“Are you saying we’re going to cheat?” Sofia asks.

“No, I’m not, I’m saying that I don’t want to lose anymore than I already am,” Bianca says.

“Oh, I think she’s calling us cheaters,” Laura says in a teasing tone, Bianca shakes her head as she nears the door, she pulls it open and sees Hoseok, catching his smile slightly falling as he saw her.

“Oh, that’s a little rude, just cause I’m not the one you were hoping for I don’t get a smile?” Bianca asks in a playful tone.

“I uh, no, th—“ Hoseok begins only for her to cut him off.

“Okay, relax, and come in, it feels cold,” Bianca says while stepping to the side, allowing him into the cabin. “Laura, I believe he’s here for you.” She closes the cabin door before moving past him and making her way back to the dining table, Laura stood from her chair, placing her cards face down on the table and makes her way towards him.

“Hi.” Laura shyly says.

“Hi,” Hoseok says as his smile visibly widens and his eyes lighting up when he sees her. “Can I steal you away from a few hours?” Laura nod stood in front of him, her hand’s clasps together in front of her, she looks over her shoulder at her friends before looking back at him.

“Um, it… it depends, why are… why are you stealing me for a few hours?” Laura asks.

“To go watch the sunset with me,” Hoseok says. “I was on my way to go watch it when I thought that I should come and invite you along.” A smile forms on Laura’s lips, she looks away from as she turns to look at Sofia and Bianca, only to see that they were already looking at her.

“I uh—“ Laura begins before turning herself in such a way to see both her friends and Hoseok. “I’d like to go but I—“

“Go, go, we can finish the game later.” Sofia quickly cuts in, Laura looks at her friends. “Or start another one.” Sofia stood from the dining chair, placing her cards face down on the table before walking towards Laura. “You and Bianca let me go this morning, it wouldn’t be fair if you stayed because of us.” Bianca makes her to the fridge.

“I don’t mind, we’re supposed to be having fun, and experiencing new things on this trip, right?” Bianca says.

“Right, bu—“ Laura begins.

“No but’s,” Sofia says. “Go and watch the sunset with him, we will still be here when you get back, and so will the cards.”

“Oh, you were busy playing cards?” Hoseok asks, Laura looks at Hoseok. “Who’s winning?”

“We don’t know yet,” Laura says.

“And we’ll find out later,” Bianca says causing everyone to look at her. “We won’t touch the cards until you’re back to finish the game.”

“Yeah,” Sofia says turning to look at Laura. “We’ll watch a movie or find another pack of cards to use.”

“Okay…” Laura says while nodding her head, she looks back at Hoseok. “Okay, then I’d like to go watch the sunset with you.” She picks up her coat that had been neatly folded and left near the door, she slips it on. “I’ll see you guys later then.” She zips her coat up before moving towards the dining table to take her phone she slips it into her coat’s pocket and made her way to the door, Hoseok opens the door, and they step out of the cabin, the door quickly being closed, Sofia turns towards Bianca, looking at the green-haired girl standing by the fridge.

“Why didn’t we threaten him?” Sofia asks. “You and Laura threatened Tae.”

“Oh… shit,” Bianca mutters while opening the fridge. “Okay, we should do it when he brings her back.” She takes out a bottle of water and closes the door. “Go all protective parent mode on him.”

“We should plan it out carefully,” Sofia says as they move to the couch.

They walk along the snow-covered path towards the park, the best place to view the sunset in the resort, and it was where they had first met only days ago, hopefully, it would be a more comfortable environment for both of them, it wasn’t too far from the cabins and the place as familiar to them.

“How was your day?” Hoseok asks, walking side by side as the winter sun slowly disappears, the snow being crushed underneath their shoe covered feet as they neared the park.

“It was good.” Laura says, “When I came downstairs, someone had already made me some tea this morning.”

“Oh, what’s your favourite flavour?” Hoseok asks.

“Lemon flavoured,” Laura says.

“Did you find out who made it?” Hoseok asks.

“I didn’t, I was too distracted by the stack of pancakes on a plate,” Laura says. “Which I’m also not sure who made them.”

“Who usually cooks or makes breakfast?” Hoseok asks which caused Laura to stop in her step, causing Hoseok to stop and turn towards her.

“Ah, yes, I should have known, it’s definitely the food addict in the cabin,” Laura says before beginning to walk again, Hoseok turns and follows her.

“Food addict?” He asks with a slight giggle in his tone. “Do I need to guess who?”

“If you want to play a guessing game,” Laura says as she glances at him, only to see that he was already looking at her with joy in his eyes and a smile reaching his eyes.

“Hint?” Hoseok asks.

“Mhm, I don’t want to make it too easy for you,” Laura says in a teasing tone. “Okay, well, she lives with us in the cabin.” Hoseok bursts out laughing, lifting his hand to cover his mouth as he did, his laugh sounded so beautiful and contagious, she couldn’t help but laugh with him.

“Re… haha... really?” Hoseok laughs out. “I never… haha… would’ve guessed, haha.” He lowers his hand to his side as his laughter slowly dies down, but a slight giggle could still be heard in his voice when he spoke. “It could be any one of them.”

“She’s always near the fridge,” Laura says, his eyes slightly widen as a name pops up or more an image pops up in his mind.

“The green-haired one?” Hoseok asks, he had remembered seeing her near the fridge when he went to invite Laura.

“Ding-ding, yes!” Laura says. “She’s constantly saying we need a proper breakfast, and reminds us when it’s time to eat.” They enter the park area. “Always snacking or hungry.” They neared the swings. “But I think Sofia made the tea, Bianca doesn’t like tea that much, or at all.”  Hoseok softly chuckles causing Laura’s smile to widen. “And then after breakfast we found some board games to play, so I’d say my day has been good, what about yours?”

“Oh, my day was good, more relaxed than anything else,” Hoseok says. “We managed to get a few things done.” Hoseok dusts off one of the swings before moving to the next one and dusts it off.

“Thank you,” Laura says, they sit down on the swing set, turning their gaze to the sun. “And that’s good to hear.” Hoseok moves his gaze away from the sun and onto her, watching as the sun’s rays shine against her face, making her look soft and warm, her light brown hair seemed so soft as the wind gently past them.

“So, uh, um, have you travelled before or is this your first time?” Hoseok asks, curious about her and her life, she looks away from the sunset and at him, meeting his warm dark brown eyes.

“No, I’ve travelled before,” Laura says. “This isn’t my first time.”

“Oh, where have you been?” Hoseok asks, she licks her lips as she thought about the places she’s been.

“Germany, Austria, Italy and England,” Laura says listing off the places she’s been to.

“Did you enjoy being at any of those places?” Hoseok asks.

“I got to travel, so yeah, I did enjoy it,” Laura says. “It was nice.” She turns her gaze back to the sunset, Hoseok couldn’t help but admire her, a soft warm smile on her lips, the sky above them slowly becoming darker, Hoseok turns his gaze towards the sunset before lifting his head to look at the sky.

“That’s good to hear, as long as you enjoyed it,” Hoseok says. “It’s a beautiful night, isn’t it?” Laura glances at him and saw him looking upward, she lifts her head to look at the sky and saw the stars beginning to twinkle in the dark sky, she takes in a deep breath, the cool air filling her lungs before she blew it out, feeling herself become relaxed.

“It’s gorgeous,” Laura says as she slowly moves the swing back and forth while looking at the sky, resting her head against her hand that was holding onto the chair of the swing, Hoseok looks away from the sky and at her, she looked so peaceful, relaxed and comforting from his view, he quietly took out his phone and lifted it up, moving it so it faced her, he sets it to night mode before snapping a picture of her causing her to look at him when she heard it. “Hey, did you just take a photo of me?”

“You looked so comforting,” Hoseok says. “I had to capture the moment, I hope you don’t mind.”

“Mhm.” Laura hums as she thought for a second. “Let me see it.” Hoseok stood from the skin and steps closer to her to show her the photo, the fading light from the sun surrounding her, the lights from the cabins in the background where blurred as the picture was focused entirely on her, the way she looked up at the sky with a soft smile on her lips, looking so at ease and comfortable. “Oh.”

“I’ll delete it if you want me to,” Hoseok says, he didn’t want to, she looked so calm in the picture, so happy, and he wanted to remember this moment.

“No, no,” Laura says. “You can keep it, I wasn’t expecting it to look so… peaceful.” He exits the photo app and locks his phone, pushing it back into his pocket before sitting down on the swing, her gaze slowly moves away from him and back up at the starry night sky, Hoseok couldn’t help but look at her for a moment longer before also looking up at the sky, in the distance they heard a car engine start before it moved further and further away.

After planning on how they would "threaten" Hoseok, they found another stack of cards and began playing a game of "snap", card after card they were saline wide as giggles begin to erupt from them, hands twitching to slap onto the cards.

“Why aren’t we getting any doubles?!” Bianca giggles as her eyes begin to squint as she tries to keep it together.

“Maybe we mixed it too well!” Sofia says as she pauses for a moment. “Oh, my arm is getting so tired of this.” Bianca places her cards face down on the table.

“Let’s take a breather,” Bianca says while leaning back against the dining chair. “How is it possible that we still haven’t gotten a double?” Sofia places her cards face down on the table and stood from the chair.

“Maybe we’re just unlucky,” Sofia says while walking to the fridge to get herself a drink, a knock on the door caused both of them to stop and turn their focus to the food, Bianca pushes the chair away from the table and stood from the chair.

“I’ll get it, make yourself some tea,” Bianca says while approaching the door.

“Would you like a cup of coffee?” Sofia asks, during the few days that they’ve shared the cabin, they had quickly learned that she likes coffee, maybe a little too much, she has a cup in the morning, afternoon and early at night, depending on how much she was craving it.

“I’ll skip it tonight,” Bianca says as Sofia took out a cup for her tea, Bianca reaches the door and pulls it open. “Geez, are we famous or something?” She quickly steps aside, allowing Seokjin to enter the cabin. “You’re the third person to come visit us today.”

“Hello to you too,” Seokjin says while she closed the door. “And I came over to ask you something.”

“Firstly, Hello, I’m sorry for being rude,” Bianca says. “And secondly, what do you want to ask me?” She steps away from the door, his eyes following her movement before she stopped in front of him. “And thirdly, are we that popular, Sofia?”

“We’re famous in Switzerland,” Sofia says from the kitchen, Bianca nods her head as a wide smile spreads across her lips while looking at Sofia, she looks back at Seokjin and saw him smiling at her.

“So, you wanted to ask me something?” Bianca asks as she brought her hands together in front of her, picking at her nails, feeling her heart rate slightly picking up.

“I was wondering if you’d join me for a night out, for dinner?” Seokjin asks, hope in his eyes and his tone as he stared at her. “I want to go try food in town, and none of my friends wants to go along.”

“You didn’t ask them, did you?” Bianca asks as she caught sight of his face muscles twitching. “If you want to ask me out, go ahead, don’t be shy, just don’t lie to me.” Seokjin lets out a defeated sigh.

“All right, No, I didn’t ask them, but they’re not the ones I want with me for dinner,” Seokjin admits. “Would you like to join me for dinner tonight? Or have you eaten already?” Bianca glanced at Sofia, seeing her pour water into the kettle.

“I’ve snacked, but I haven’t had a full dinner,” Bianca says as she turns her gaze back to him. “But I can’t go, although, I’d love to, but then I’d have to leave my friend alone.”

“What? No, no, go ahead.’ Sofia quickly says while putting the kettle down, she walks towards Seokjin and Bianca. “Go, I’ll watch a movie.” She stops next to Seokjin and Bianca. “She’s love to go out with you, for dinner, dessert, even a drink.”

“Non-alcoholic.” Bianca quickly adds on. “I don’t drink.” Seokjin nods his head, mentally making a note in his head.

“I’ll be fine on my own here, go have some dinner with him,” Sofia says looking at Bianca. “I’m sure Laura will be back soon also.”

“Are you sure?” Bianca asks, Sofia nods her head, smiling at the green-haired girl. “Gosh, I feel bad for leaving you alone for the second time.” Sofia quickly picks up Bianca’s coat from where it had been folded on the table and hands it to her.

“Here, go have fun,” Sofia says, Bianca takes her coat from Sofia and slips it on before turning her gaze to Seokjin

“Would you be embarrassed if I went with you wearing my penguin slippers?” Bianca asks as a shy smile appears on her lips. “I don’t have any other shoes.”

Bianca stares out the window of the car, washing the lights flash past them as Seokjin drove them into town, he glances at her and saw her staring in wonder.

“This is different from what you’re used to, right?” Seokjin asks as he turns his gaze back to the road ahead, she turns her head away from the window to look at him.

“December and January are usually the hottest times in South Africa,” Bianca says. “So, no I’m not used to this, cause if I wasn’t here, then I’d be cooking like bacon back home.”

“Bacon?” Seokjin asks with a giggle in his tone. “What did the bacon say to the eggs in the frying pan?” Bianca begins smiling wide as she waited for him to finish, he glances at her for a second before looking back at the road. “I’m bacon!” He begins laughing.

“It’s not even that funny,” Bianca says with a giggle in her tone. “But I can’t help it, I’m trying not to laugh at it.” He could see from the corner of his eye that she was trying to hold back her laughter, her hand was covering her mouth.

“It’s funny, so go ahead and laugh,” Seokjin says. “I won’t blame you.” She shakes her head, her hand couldn’t even hide the huge smile she had on her lips. “So, besides baking like bacon in the summer, what about the winter?” She lowers her hand and placed it on her lap. “Anything I can make a joke about during your winter?”

“No, no, winters are warm also, well, at least from the part I’m from, it doesn’t get that cold in that specific province,” Bianca says.

“It doesn’t?” Seokjin asks. “Doesn’t it snow during the winter?”

“Maybe it did years ago, but now it only snows in certain parts of South Africa, but most days, we don’t need to wear jackets for warmth,” Bianca says.

“So, if I were to come visit, you’re telling me, that I won’t have to bring warm clothes?” Seokjin asks while lifting an eyebrow.

“And who says you’re going to visit me in my home country?” Bianca asks tilting her head to the side, a smirk on her lips.

“You never know, anything could happen,” Seokjin says.

"It depends on how sensitive you are to the cold," Bianca says.

They enter the restaurant and were led to an empty table, only a few tables were filled, the place was almost empty, maybe because it was late and most people could be at home by now, they sit down at the table and the waiter hands the two of them a menu before leaving them to decide.

“Hm.” Bianca hums as her eyes scan the menu. “I’m not sure what could be good.” Seokjin looks at the menu before lowering it.

“Everything looks nice.” He says.

“But it can be misleading also,” Bianca says, he nods his head as he watches her, her eyes carefully moving over the menu. “I’m going to play it safe and just get dessert.”

“Dessert?” Seokjin asks while lifting his menu, his eyes move down to the dessert section on the menu. “Oh, dessert.”

“It’s the safest option, and you can never go wrong with dessert,” Bianca says as she placed the menu down on the table.

“What are you getting?” Seokjin asks, he couldn’t decide what to get, and he wanted to hear what she had chosen.

“Oh, it was between a sundae and waffles with ice cream drizzled in hot chocolate sauce,” Bianca says, he lowers the menu in his hand.

“Which one did you decide on?” He asks as a smile grows on his lips.

“The waffles,” Bianca says. “It looks like a big plate, so, I’ll share… actually, I don’t know if I’ll share,” Bianca says. “So it might be safer to get two if you want one.” He placed the menu down on the table before placing his elbows on the table and puts his hands underneath this chin.

“Oh, you’re confident that you’ll be able to finish it all on your own,” Seokjin says.

“Yes, yes, I am,” Bianca says with a smug smile on her lips.

“What will you do if you can’t finish it?” Seokjin asks, she thinks for a moment before something popped into her mind.

“I’ll get up early, and I’ll go watch the sunrise,” Bianca says, he nods his head as he leans back into his chair.

“All right, then I’ll join you, and we can call it a date,” Seokjin says.

“Deal,” Bianca says before realising what he had said. “Wait, a d… date?”

“Yes, a date,” Seokjin says. “I can only assume that you don’t get up early.” He adjusts in his chair. “I can only assume that you’re not an early riser because you said that you will get up early to go watch it, so if you’re willing to get up early to watch the sunset, I may as well join you and we can call it a date.”

“I ge— I can—“ Bianca pauses for a second. “I usually get up at 6:30, yeah, some mornings are har… der…” It suddenly hits her, the timezone difference. “Wait, I’m awake at 5, oh, I forgot this isn’t home.”

“Five?” He asks. “Why are you up at five?” His lips slightly pursing. “Is there a timezone difference?”

“An hour difference,” Bianca says. “I… I can’t believe I just realised… how early I’m up.” He could hear the disbelief in her tone before he could ask some more about it, the waiter approached their table with a notebook and pen in hand.

“Evening, I’ll be your server for the night, what can I get the two of you?” They ask.

“Ph, um, two of these,” Seokjin says while picking up the menu and showed the waffles they had both decided on, the waiter nods and scribbles it down.

“Anything to drink?” They ask.

“Oh, I’ll have a hot chocolate,” Bianca says.

“Oh, I’ll have one also,” Seokjin says, the waiter scribbles down their order and takes the menu’s from them before leaving to g give in their order. “How did you just realise it?”

“It never really sunk in until now,” Bianca says. “I lay in bed for an hour before getting up, I just didn’t… think it was at five.” Seokjin softly smiles at her.

“Meanwhile we’re struggling to stay awake for half of the day.” Seokjin giggles.

“Wait a second, you guys are probably extra tired, especially right now,” Bianca says as she sits upright. “Aren’t you feeling tired? It’s a big-time difference.”

“No, not as much anymore.” He says. “When we first got here it was hard to keep my eyes open.”

“It’s a big-time difference, I’m more surprised you got used to it so quickly,” Bianca says. “At what time do you talk to your family then? You probably can’t call them when it’s night time here.”

“I try and call the during the morning,” Seokjin says. “What about you? It’s an hour difference, do you call them at night or morning?”

“It’s different each day, like today I called this morning, so tomorrow, I’ll have to see,” Bianca says, he nods his head, listening intently to her. “But if I lose, then I guess I’ll be giving them a call tomorrow night.” A smile begins to spread across his lips.

“Are you starting to doubt yourself now?” Seokjin asks. “Just moments ago you were confident.”

“I still am,” Bianca says as she leans forward and places her elbows on the table before placing both her hands underneath her chin. “I just wanted to see you smile.” This caused his smile to widen.

“I don’t know if I should believe you on that one,” Seokjin says. “Did you really want to see me smile or are you doubting yourself?” Bianca lifts her head away from her hands and leans back against the chair, moving her hands to her lap.

“Believe what you want,” Bianca says. “You just have a nice smile.”

“Do you think flattery will work?” Seokjin asks.

“Is it working?” She asks.

“It is,” Seokjin says. “I believe in you, I believe you can finish that dessert.” Her nose wrinkles as she begins to giggle, the waiter approaches their table with two mugs and placed it down on the table.

“Dessert will be out shortly.” They say before walking away and going back to the kitchen to retrieve the plates, Bianca leans forward and picks up the mug, quickly seeing the steam coming from it before she puts it back down on the table.

“Should’ve gotten a milkshake,” Bianca mutters, Seokjin licks his lips as he heard.

“Too hot for you?” Seokjin asks, she nods her head. “Want me to blow on it for you?”

“Sure, but I don’t think it’ll help much,” Bianca says, he reaches across the table and picks up her mug.

“I can always try, can’t I?” Seokjin says before gently blowing on the foamy chocolate, looking at her as he did. “Hopefully I’m helping.”

“I’m sure you are,” Bianca says with a soft smile on her lips as she watches him.

[novelconcepts]

Okay, but all silliness aside: I owe a ridiculous amount to Critical Role. Or, more specifically, to having found CR when I did. I came in around the beginning of the second campaign, and I had no idea what this thing was. I didn’t know a damn thing about D&D. I didn’t watch gamers stream. I think I’d been on Twitch a handful of times to watch Jim Lee draw, and that was...it. 

I came into Critical Role having seen a handful of gifs on my dash from people whose opinions I trust, and I realized Ashley Johnson was involved. That was my full base of knowledge: Ashley “hey, I know her from Recess/Growing Pains, I like her” Johnson was the whole deal. And that could have been a breaking point early on, because the first thirty episodes of Campaign 1 are a little rough if you don’t know what you’re getting into. The audio is questionable in places, it can be hard to track what’s going on, there’s the whole...obvious cast issue. And if you came in knowing only Ashley, you didn’t even get that lifeline the whole way through. 

But here’s the thing: this was 2017? I had just gotten married, and while I married the love of my life, who I had been engaged to--we originally had a slapdash courthouse wedding the day after the election, because it was the only safety net we could grab hold of. At least it would be a legal marriage, in case something really cataclysmic happened before our actual wedding date. I was obsessively refreshing six different news sites every hour while at work, and falling down the darkest political rabbit holes on Twitter every night. I was have terror dreams of nuclear fallout and panic attacks over climate change...and, on top of all the fear and the anger broiling in me, my dysphoria was getting worse by the day. My anxiety. My depression. I was sinking. Fast.  So I did the only thing I know how to do when things get truly bad inside my head. 

I hid inside stories. 

Namely, I hid inside Critical Role. The new campaign wasn’t quite on its feet yet, so I went back and started with Vox Machina. I went into these 3-5 hour episodes, letting them play in the background at work, letting these people I did not know or even really get yet into my head. And, at first, it was just the fascination of the concept. A long-form narrative built by upwards of 8 people, all sitting around a table, just...improvising. Not an inch of that is the way I tell stories, so it was brilliant and baffling, and curiosity had me straight out the gate. 

And, if it had just been the concept, that still might not have been enough to hold my attention. If it had just been the idea of it, it might not have been loud enough to drown out the voices in my head telling me the whole ship was going down, that there was no hope, that there was no point in even getting up in the morning to face more bullshit. 

But...it was Matt Mercer. Matt, with such an incredible array of characters and maps living inside his head, who could so easily have been That Guy--the English Major Asshole who knew he was smarter than everyone in the room and played it up--and instead chooses to be so kind. So utterly engrossed in the desire to give everyone a seat at the table, to let everybody into the narrative he’s weaving. It takes a certain kind of person to not only write the sort of stories he invents for CR, but to be open enough to lean back and let other people take the wheel every night, and to roll with whatever comes his way. 

And it was Travis Willingham. This huge dude who had to sit at the edge of the table because he was all muscle and thumping energy, who I kept expecting to be tight-lipped and brewing with that toxic masculinity judgment straight dudes are taught to value--and, instead of even a modicum of that, he was so excited. So invested in these characters and this game, in these friends, in playing the wisest dumbass ever to cross a screen. Travis, who hugs his male friends, and doesn’t pull the no-homo card, and stans his wife with such delight, there is no way you can watch even half an episode without falling in love with their love. 

And it was Liam O’Brien, who could have played the arrogant Cool Dude, and instead leaned so hard into having fun with his place at the table. Into deep-cut jokes, and his love for his friends, and such an affinity for Laura that I genuinely believed they were siblings. Liam, who wears his soft heart on his sleeve, and understands that sometimes the best way through tragedy is to weave it into a story, to let that be a kind of therapy among friends. 

And it was Taliesin Jaffe. Tal, who is just gonna be him, and not even fuck you if you don’t like it--he doesn’t even seem to notice. Tal, who is physical with his friends, and who laughs with his whole body, and who has the quickest one-liners in the world one minute and “life needs things to live” the next, and who just is such a joy to watch as he immerses himself at the table. He’s gonna have his hair, and he’s gonna wear mismatched socks, and he’s gonna paint those nails, and love his people, and inspire everyone around him to do the same. 

And it was Sam Riegel, who--I’ll be honest--I didn’t get for a while. He was hilarious, and he was a quick-draw, and I loved his songs, but I didn’t understand how much he cared, how truly in it he was. Sam has said he’d do anything to make these people laugh, and I don’t think everyone realizes just how valuable it is to have someone who understands the need of a good laugh in a bad situation. Sam lights up the table in the strangest, silliest ways--but he also brings some of the most vital human moments to the story. 

And it was Laura Bailey, who was just so...warm, it bleeds straight through the screen and envelopes me every time I watch her play. Vex is cool as shit on the surface, but Laura is so full of affection, so quick-witted, so hugely into this game that she transforms herself utterly when she plays. Laura comes to the table to play with everything she’s got, and she’s so honest when she does it. Impeccable voice work one minute, flirtatious wink the next, and then she’s dying laughing at a dick joke. It’s so open, it’s impossible not to love. 

And it was Marisha Ray. Marisha, who took so much shit, and came out the other side standing taller than ever. Marisha, who commits wholeheartedly in voice, in affectation, in climbing up on her chair or lunging backward out of it. From day one, I was rooting for Marisha--I was inspired by Keyleth getting to grow up onscreen, as I’ve been invested in Beau slowly cracking open and letting herself shine out from the spaces she’s spent so much time shoring up. She loves these characters like true friends, and she loves her people, and she loves her husband, and she loves this craft to such a degree, I want to quit my job and come work for her instead. There’s such a strength and a dignity to her that I find myself needing to be stronger, too. 

And, of course, it was Ashley Johnson--deceptively sweet, intensely funny, so much tougher than she looks, and when she turns up in a game, the affection could fill a stadium. Ashley being in town or on Skype for a game is like coming into a party and finding a friend you hadn’t gotten to hang out with in six months waiting for you. Everything just feels brighter with her in the game.

And it is a game, and it is a story, but the family these people have built--people I’ll likely never meet, people who live on the opposite side of the country--is somehow big enough to let complete strangers bask in its reflected glow. I built a habit of listening to CR at work...and then talking about it to my wife, with all the hyper-fixation glee I can’t help when I fall in love with something...and then I was putting it on at home so she could fall in love, too. I was putting on Talks or Between the Sheets while I ran on the treadmill, or when I needed to focus on a project. I put on episodes I’d already seen when I was sad, or when I was lonely, or when I just needed something to fill the silence and keep the darkness in my head behind a wall. For two years, I’ve gone back to these people again and again. To the silly videos. To the serious conversations. To the Twitter feeds and the fanart people can’t resist making to commemorate these characters who feel so tangible. 

Matt always ends the stream with a claim of love, and with most shows, with most streamers, with most people, that just feels like words. With these guys, with the way they open up and share this lightning in a bottle family and story they have created with the rest of us, it feels honest. It feels like these are long-lost friends who may never be in the same room, but are always there when I am drowning because the world is a nightmare, because work is kicking my ass, because this gushing essay is the most I’ve written in months. They are so good. They are human, and fallible, and invested in telling stories that get dark and ugly one minute, and devolve into hysteria the next, because that’s what life looks like. Even life with gods and magic and talking swords and goldfish deaths. 

Critical Role keeps me throwing my shoulders back, keeps me laughing, keeps me insisting on showing the people in my life how much they mean to me. Critical Role keeps me on the board when the demons in my head have me thinking it’d be easier to throw the game. It’s a show, and it’s silly, but it’s given me such a safe, warm place to curl up in some of the bleakest times of my life, and I love them so much for being willing to share some of that light with the rest of the world. They’ve given me a place on the internet that truly does feel like home. 

[ryanmeft]

Movie Review: Motherless Brooklyn

The greatest villains of noir are never the central antagonists. The corrupt cops, the slimy businessmen, and the small time hoods and assassins typified by the genre’s heyday are of course all vital to the seedy underrealms these movies sink us into, but the true villain is always the world itself, and specifically the rotten and festering systems whose waste drips down and creates the conditions for battered, weary detectives and crooks with no hope in the first place. This was implied in most classic noir, but Edward Norton’s Motherless Brooklyn makes it explicit. It focuses on a man seen by others as a freak, trying to do a good thing in a city that exists because of bad things. He’s up against such a vital underpinning of his entire world that he might as well be trying to punch out the moon.

Lionel Essrog is not exactly the first person you might choose in such a fight, even if one overlooks his Tourette’s syndrome, which in the decidedly unenlightened 1950’s is unlikely. He’s one of several detectives working for the aging Frank Minna (Bruce Willis), whose particular skills would have been equally applicable on the other side of the law. Also under Minna, in a crew the older man pulled from the morass of an abusive orphanage and led through World War II, are the force-and-bluster tough guy Tony Vermonte (Bobby Cannavale), who has an interesting relationship with Minna’s widow (Leslie Mann); the sharp information-gathering Danny Fantl (Dallas Roberts); and the reserved and slightly bumbling Gilbert Coney (Ethan Suplee). The film opens with a terribly thrilling sequence in which Minna seems to be trying to make a deal with some underworld figures, and as one might expect the deal goes wrong, resulting in Minna’s eventual death.

Let’s take a moment and look at that sequence. It takes up the first half hour or so of the film, and it takes its time. Essrog, played by Norton, listens in for a signal from Minna, and you know something is going to go wrong. Yet where other movies might make that a quick and easy scene, Norton gets our hopes up that Minna might live, and it is genuinely affecting when he doesn’t, because of how much he clearly meant to our protagonist. This death is more than just a device to set off the plot of the film. It defines Lionel’s key character traits: loyalty to those he trusts, suspicion towards most everyone else, all of the wariness that a lifetime of being infantilized by others would give a man. His character is not defined by Tourette’s, which, for the record, is presented accurately as the repetition of tics and phrases rather than by the cliche and rare repeating of profanity. His photographic memory is a tool for detective work, but also a burden; imagine never forgetting anything, and if you’ve suffered at all in life you might realize that isn’t a superpower. He wears his boss’s old hat and coat, in tribute to the man rather than to try and be him. Lionel is a fully developed character, and not a gimmick. The film is patient with him and with the plot, the kind of patience lacking in modern films where audiences will sit for more than two hours only if computer effects are involved.

His case is no gimmick, either, but a fully developed and twisted web that goes, of course, up to the Very Top. The central question: why was Minna, ostensibly a licensed private eye, talking to mobsters as if they were dealing with each other? Lionel digs into this, and it becomes clear it involves the city’s powerful planning commissioner, Moses Randolph (Alec Baldwin). He seems able to demand whatever he wants from the government, behaves like a Godfather instead of a public servant, and is involved in the demolition of slums. Ostensibly, the plan is to provide better housing for the mostly black residents, an assertion which is challenged by two people. The first is wary-but-idealistic housing activist Laura Rose (Gugu Mbatha-Raw), who develops a connection with Lionel that feels true and complex and not like an obligatory screenplay romance. Mbatha-Raw is a seriously undervalued actress, and here she represents the counter-culture of jazz, which was primarily African-American and seen as degenerate at the time. Her uncle Billy (Robert Wisdom) and cool-as-ice trumpet-playing friend (Michael K. Williams) have some level of insight into what exactly is happening to Brooklyn’s poor black population, and they become allies. It must be noted that scenes in nightclubs are handled perfectly, feeling like the close, crowded, smoky places that jazz clubs should be.

The second is a ragged man with a frantic voice named Paul (Willem Dafoe), who appears at meetings and angrily whips the crowd into frenzies against Moses. He lays out what crooked deals are going on, but encourages Lionel to be the one to stop it; he cannot, for reasons that will be revealed. I found him the most fascinating supporting character on the canvas, and a perfect role for Dafoe. In movies, most of the good-aligned characters we meet will eventually abandon all self-centered interests and heroically join the cause at great self-sacrifice. Film noir is decidedly unsuited to such sentiment, but in the old days often suffered from it nonetheless. Paul is the apotheosis of that: he is legitimately angry at the conspiracies he sees, but has been too hurt by his own failures to fix them in the past, and now wants to pass the buck so he does not have to suffer any more losses. In our heart of hearts, most of us know we are more like Paul.

Earlier I mentioned the look of the jazz world, but I must mention the look of the rest of the world, as well. Regular Mike Leigh cinematographer Dick Pope films a mid-century New York reproduced by production designer Beth Mickie, that is lost, where boat-sized cars rumble down narrow streets and dark shadows are hidden in the eaves of bridges and corners of doorways. Lionel is at one point invited to meet with Moses to strike a deal, and Moses’ office is as spacious as the rest of the city is not; in an excellent wide shot, he patrols this throne room as a king, passing judgments and decisions entirely as it pleases him. This is not a man who will fall like a typical movie crook, and indeed the film leaves open whether Lionel succeeds at all.

Norton, who is friends with novelist Jonathan Lethem, has, with the author’s consent, done what a filmmaker should: used the parts of the book that suit, and changed those that did not. Most notably, he has moved the 90’s setting (this project has been long gestating) to the 1950’s and wrapped up the plot in one of our great modern national stains, the New York housing discrimination that still affects the African-American community today. The parallels are both obvious and buried, and though Norton has discussed the connections between Moses and Donald Trump, this is not an overtly political picture. It is instead a deeply involving mystery with highly engaging characters and an intriguing world, that happens to have greater points under the surface for those who are looking.

Verdict: Highly Recommended

Note: I don’t use stars, but here are my possible verdicts.

Must-See

Highly Recommended

Recommended

Average

Not Recommended

Avoid like the Plague

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[thewolfisawake]

Critical Role

Favorite character:

In CR1, Percy and Scanlan. And gonna sound so hipster but I did legitimately like Percy prior to the Briarwood arc. I liked his place as the more subdued person that didn’t need fanfare for his support. And then I was scared and intrigued when he was more...forthcoming in that arc since he was quieter before (I think I read this was also because Taliesin was bit shy starting out but got comfortable). And Scanlan, was the man I shed tears for because I kept crying ‘oh god, someone please notice. Someone HELP HIM.’ They both had some serious gut punches and their stories did shift the dynamics (of the story and the party respectively) permanently. They are also great support and yet also had some amazing solos. 

In CR2, Caleb and Fjord. I just like me some sad boys apparently. I think Caleb’s bumbling and trying to do right but struggling with doing what’s good for you so painfully relatable. As of writing this, I haven’t caught up yet but I’ve seen him make such leaps and bounds in terms of letting people in and being a support to others. I also think mechanically he’s a show of how the drawbacks like his fear can make for good moments. As for Fjord, he’s just in general how I think a moral compass or herder character can be done without irritating both the player and viewer. I mean morals of this cast is more wonky but in general Fjord seems to put forward a general ‘we all get through this’ and respect towards the team. 

Least Favorite character:

In CR1, Keyleth. And no, it’s got nothing to do with Marisha. She’s cool. I honestly felt bad for her because Keyleth had to pick up the moral slack whenever Pike wasn’t there, which was often. Some of her best moments were when she had to draw the hard line. But it was far outweighed with having this moral high horse for some reason even though they promptly do something just as low down as the ones she looked down on. Also, I feel it’s hard to do a character that is naive but also very likable so again, sorry for Marisha. 

In CR2, I like so many but I’ll go with Mollymauk. And it was a bit of a shame because he was like the one person I heard so much about. I did like that he was the one that tended to push into some of the best shenanigans I’ve listened to. However, he was just fine. There wasn’t much to push him into love him so much nor much to say I dislike him. I’m a little disappointed of not being able to know what his deal was I guess was what I would choose if I have to say what made him least favorite. 

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon):

Vax’limore - Their interactions just oozed banter and playfulness. There was no intro to how that this happened, it just jumps into their flirtations. And it was that cute banter and the real ‘I’d do anything for you, my friend’ that ended up hurting seeing Gilmore have his heart strings pulled as they did. Like if you love him, let him go. For real. Don’t dangle it in front of him like that. 

Pike/Percy - Weird thought but I thought it was pretty clear that Pike liked Percy. Everyone sees her as a stalwart beacon but she still has wants and falls off from time to time. But she tries. And she saw something within Percy that was dark and I don’t think it was necessarily ‘I want to fix him’ but ‘I want to save him.’ And Percy find a light in Pike like many do but also seeing her as just Pike.  

Perc’ahlia - I mean, it’s canon. Thing is that I can’t pinpoint a moment when it began. Just that it happened and that felt okay. I think they’re both maniacs in their own right and it’s kind of cute how they indulge each other’s passion/excitement. Gifts feels like Percy’s love language and he shows it so much in how he tinkers for Vex and her glee in what new way she can fuck shit up is enough for him. And also it’s really delicious the parallel with them and the Briarwoods and Laura has stated that if Percy had died died, that it was possible Vex end up the same kind of menace Delilah was. 

Vex/Zahra - In some other life, they would have been the femme fatale couple. All of their interactions were enjoyable and they so clearly enjoy each other. Just looking over and it’s the eyes with them.

Widobrave - Partners in crime. I think that their dynamic isn’t simple and that’s what’s so interesting. They see each other as someone to protect and don’t exactly see how the other views them as the one to be protected. And they have ‘without question’ sort of trust in each other and are genuinely awed and so happy when they witness one do something great. It gets sad with more of their backstory. And it gets me that both immediately felt guilty for keeping it a secret from them. Not the entire party, their partner. They both have seen past appearances and see the strength, the zaniness and the brilliance the other possesses and I can’t wait to get to more of their moments. 

Character I find most attractive:

CR1: Gilmore. My god he was gorgeous. Vax why did you just walk away from that? Raishan. Look, she was hot and smart and even if she fell eventually, she made the most of when she was there. 

CR2: Cali is so frickin’ adorable. Like she’s so cute and hey, if not for the whole cult chasing her thing, it’d be nice to stick around and sightsee. I am also a ‘Jester is really cute’ person.

Character I would marry:

I don’t really think there’s anyone I’d actually--well, I think maybe Pike because stronk lady that can get into mischief with but at the same time just be able to be content with.

No one in this campaign so far. 

Character I would be best friends with:

I would LIKE to be friends with Cassandra because everyone continues to ignore how this woman has been tormented and then thrust into very important position. All while harboring guilt for what she had to do to survive. The girl needs a break and I’m here with a blanket and some tea.

I would like to be friends with Nott actually. She’s really cool and I think it’s fun to let her be her zany self. 

a random thought:

So who is really credited as the inventor of firearms, Percy, who did technically make it, or Ripley, who is the one that sold the schematics to make them mass-produced? 

Is there just an abundance of mysterious magic ladies in Wildemount or what? 

An unpopular opinion:

Scanlan deserved his anger and feelings of being unappreciated. Even if he was brought back, it does not lessen that there was uncertainty nor the lack of respect towards his body. Vox Machina had gotten cocky and it drove one of their members away. Vex and Vax were the only ones that took Scanlan’s frustration to heart and did not mess up with Tary for that reason. Also Tary was a parallel of the worst of the party, which is why most of them couldn’t stand him. 

The small races are not fucking children. I don’t get why they get called children or thought of like that. They’re just short, goddammit!

My Canon OTP:

CR1: Perc’ahlia for above reasons.

CR2: None to be seen so far?

My Non-canon OTP:

CR1: Because I’m hella fucked up, I am enamored by the thought that Percy had a crush on Ripley. Because she paid attention to him, one of the younger and less interesting of his family. And to him she was brilliant and she took advantage of that, which is how he survived or why they got in. And Percy never forgot or forgave her. 

CR2: “And they were roommates” “oh god they were roommates.” * whispers * I kind of liked Fjord and Molly. They felt like foils that were amicable with each other aaaaannndddd actually had nice interactions? 

Most Badass Character:

CR1: NO MERCY PERCY

CR2: Shakaste is pretty awesome and Khary Payton is awesome. 

Most Epic Villain:

CR1: Raishan. Like I wish she could’ve been a bigger villain but alas the dice were not on her side. I think her arc was the most interesting as she was the true threat in the party’s eyes despite there being a dragon terraforming their home. 

CR2: At this point? There hasn’t been a major villain for the party.  

Pairing I am not a fan of:

I don’t really have anything I can’t ship in this one.

Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another):

Can’t really say anyone ‘screwed up’ since this is a lot of improv and all that. So I guess miss chances I think would only really be Molly since y’know, he’s dead. 

Favourite Friendship:

CR1: Pike & Grog - They’re Best Buddies, y’all. I can’t get over how much they just pal around like that’s just the usual for them. And technically it is. They can go get wasted together and then kick ass after. It’s just the casualness of their relationships and how much respect and lack of reverence that I like. Pike is just Pike to Grog so he finds no reason to hold back or hold her as a light unlike the rest of the party. But he does want to do good by her because she’s his friend and he doesn’t want to disappoint her. And Pike never insults Grog���s intellect and actively works to help him improve and deflects the party’s remarks of how he is. 

CR2: Empire Kids - They’ve come a long way from their seats of mistrust and standoff-ishness. I think there was a post that put it best that they’re ‘learning how to human.’ And because they both are at the same point of it, they are struggling together. As a result they’ve come to lean on each other to keep themselves from going to far. They’re not perfect but they’re trying to keep this found family of theirs together. 

Character I most identify with:

CR1: Keyleth. Being the one to try to keep people together or on the straight on narrow isn’t easy. It sucks and I’m not usually the person that should do it but here I am.

CR2: Caleb. I am very off-beat and odd but I do want to have friends and the like....just not stellar at showing that...

Character I wish I could be:

I mean, this is D&D where awesome shit goes on all the time. So anyone I guess?

[elles-choices]

The Quarterback: Chapter Two (AU, Chris x MC)

Summary: Chris Powell is a star Quarterback stuck in a toxic relationship. Laura Davis is a writer looking for some inspiration for her new book. They went to the same college. They’ve heard about each other but their paths never crossed… not until they catch the same flight.

Pairing: Chris x MC (Laura)

Disclaimer: Some characters belong to Choices by Pixel Berry

—————————

Chapter Two: Girls Like You

The Next Morning...

Laura stands in the conference room, looking at the Central Park while waiting for her literary agent. She has been trying to start this book for a few weeks now but all she’s got are a few notes. She had writer’s block before but it never lasted this long.

She walks back to the laptop she placed on the table minutes ago and stares at the few notes on it. ‘Is there anything I could use?’, she wonders. Suddenly she hears the door opening and sees Elisa coming into the room.

“Good morning, Laura. How are you today?”, her agent and friend smiles happy to see her, giving her a hug before they sit down.

“I’m okay, thank you. It’s just... argh, as I told you before, this writer’s block is killing me. I don’t know what to do”, she sounds almost desperate.

Elisa puts one hand over Laura’s hand and gives her a squeeze, “Okay, it can't be so bad. Let me see what you have here”. Laura turns her laptop to Elisa and lets her go through her notes. “It’s not so bad, there are a few things you could use...”, she turns her chair so she can face Laura, “Let me ask you a few things, when was the last time you went out and had fun in LA? The last time you went on a date? Had sex? For god’s sake Laura, you broke up with James 5 months ago... you can’t write romance if you gave up on it!”

“I didn’t give up on it, it just didn’t happen. My friends are James’ friends and it’s been kind of awkward... every time we meet they try to avoid his name and I feel bad. And you know I haven’t gone on any dates since I broke up with him... but it’s not because of James, I just never found someone I would want to spend time with... and don’t even talk about sex, my last time was such a long time ago, I don’t think I remember how it works”, Laura laughs.

“Okay, no wonder you are lacking inspiration. Life is happening outside of your windows and you choose to stay home, in front of a computer, trying to give life to characters but you yourself are not living yours, not experiencing things. Get out there, have fun, try new things... get rid of this sexual frustration!”, Elisa closes the lid of Laura’s laptop.

“I’m not sexually frustrated! I can take care of myself...”, Laura crosses her arms.

Elisa smirks, “Okay, but you are a young woman with needs... social needs for example. Go out, get to know people and things will happen naturally. Trust me! One day you will see, hear or experience something the will be the sparkle you need to start your story!”, she stands up, “You can’t write about life if you are not living, so why don’t you go out there and enjoy it a little?”, she hands Laura her laptop. “We talk on Wednesday again before you leave. Now go and have fun!”.

Laura shakes her head, smiling, “The things you make me do...”, she packs her things together and hugs her friend. “See you on Wednesday!”

“See you, sweetie!”

—————

Chris is strolling through Central Park, thinking about his talk with Becca last night. She was out of control - her screams are still ringing in his ears, his body is still aching from her punches and kicks. She gave him an ultimatum but didn’t accepted his decision, ‘What was she thinking? That I would give her a ring?’. he wonders. He is so done with Becca and her ways, he knows he put up with it for too long and right now he feels like he can finally breath again.

He sits down on a bench, enjoying the view of Belvedere Lake. The soft rays of the sun warming up his skin in this beautiful spring day and as he closes his eyes to enjoy it, Laura pops up in his head and he smiles. Chris grabs his wallet and looks for the card she gave him and not thinking twice, he calls her. His heart beats faster with each time the phone rings until he hears her voice on the other side.

“Hi, Laura! It’s Chris... Powell”, he says nervously.

“Chris! How are you today? Feeling better?”, she smiles thinking of the talk they had the days before.

“Much better, you have no idea. And you? Is it a bad time to call? You sound a little out of breath”, he wonders.

“No, it’s fine. I’m running through the park... just trying to relax after my meeting with my agent”, she stops and starts walking.

“Oh, how did it go? Are you in Central Park? I’m here too”

“I was, now I’m crossing the street to my hotel. And about my meeting... I didn’t have much we could work with so she told me to go out, live my life, go on a date, have fun!”, she laughs, “Anything as long as I find a way out of this writer’s block”.

Chris thinks for a moment and says, “Maybe I can help you with that”, he chuckles, “Let me take you out tonight”.

Laura laughs, “I don’t think this is a good idea... Becca was my nemesis in my freshman year, I don’t wanna her coming after me now that college is over!”.

Chris smiles, “Becca is out of the picture now. And I just want to get to know you better. Maybe I can help you with your book somehow”.

Laura walks into her hotel room and thinks about Elisa’s words for a moment... ‘What do I have to lose? It’s not like we are going on a date..’, she wonders. “Okay, Chris. What are your plans?”

“You will have to wait and see! I’m picking you up at 7pm”, he stands up and starts walking back to his hotel.

“Alright then, see you at 7!”

—————

6:55 pm

Laura looks herself in the mirror one last time. She is wearing a red knee length dress with a sexy V-neck line; the soft curls of her light brown hair fall over her shoulder; her makeup is simple and natural. Satisfied with her look, she picks up her clutch and leaves the room.

As she walks through the reception area, she sees a black Mercedes stoping in front of the hotel. Chris walks out of the car, buttoning his gray blazer. When he sees Laura walking in his direction he whispers to himself, “Wow...”. He walks a few steps to meet her, kissing her on the cheek, “You look stunning, Laura”.

“Oh, stop!”, she giggles. “You look nice too, Powell!”, she looks into his blue eyes and sees a difference already. He seems more relaxed, free from the worries that were plaguing him a 24 hours ago. “So, where are we going?”

Chris smiles, “To the Baccarat...”. He holds his arm out for her to take and they walk together to the car.

“You look different, Chris...”, she looks at him shortly before glancing over to the window.

“I feel different. It’s as if my life just started”, he touches her hand, trying to get her attention. Their eyes meet and they both feel an electric sensation traveling through their bodies, they hold their gaze for a moment before the driver stops in front of the luxurious hotel. Chris gets out of the car, offering her a hand. Laura takes it and they walk into The Baccarat.

After getting their drinks and place their orders, Laura says: “So, Chris, are you working on any personal passion projects?”.

“Actually I am. At school I started a Second Chance Scholarship, I don’t know if you heard about it”, he pauses for a second and she nods, “I am working with a philanthropic foundation that sponsor students from not privileged backgrounds and we are trying to make the SCS a national thing. It’s been challenging... a lot of meetings and traveling but I’m not giving up so easily”, he smiles and his voice is enthusiastic. “But enough about this... how does a typical day look like for you?”

Laura looks at him with a warmth in her eyes, “I think it is fascinating what you are doing. I mean, you made it in life and you still care for this cause...  It’s amazing”, she smiles, “Back to your question, right now it’s pretty much between the gym and my study!”, she laughs, “I’m just trying to write, so there is nothing special about my days”.

“Now I get why your agent wanted you to go out... and she is right”, he chuckles.

“Yeah, well, we will see where this will take me... But now I got another question for you, did anything surprising happen to you today?”, she looks to the side and sees the waiter placing her dinner in front of her. After he leaves, Chris says:

“Yes, you accepted going on a date with me...”, he smiles at her and she looks at him surprised, “What? Wasn’t I clear that this is a date?”.

Laura giggles, “Yeah... not 100% clear, no!”

“Well, I hope you are having as much fun as I am... I haven’t been on a first date since freshman year!”, he reaches for her hand, “And it’s nice to be here with you”, his voice softens.

Laura says, “Me too... I mean, no first dates since freshman year and also, I’m having fun too!”, she blushes, looking at him touching her hand.

Chris smiles, “Enjoy your meal, it looks really good”, he lets her hand go and they eat their food, talking about their lives in LA, laughing about Chris’ jokes, enjoying the time together.

After dinner, Chris walks Laura back to her hotel. They are both quiet, lost in their thoughts. He looks at her and smiles - he doesn’t know yet what it is but he knows that there is something so special about this girl. It’s seductive, it relaxes him and makes him feel good. Whatever it is, he can’t wait to find out.

“This is me”, Laura says, stopping in front of the hotel entrance.

“I enjoyed our time together quite a lot, Laura. I’m flying back to Los Angeles tomorrow but I would like to see you again once you are back”, he says nervously.

Laura takes a deep breath, “Chris, I enjoyed the evening with you too but you just broke up with Becca. Do you think it’s the best time to start dating?”

“I checked out of that relationship a long time ago, Laura. The talk I had last night was more for her sake than mine... if you don’t feel comfortable calling it a date, then let’s just hang out and see what happens”, he steps closer to her, brushing a strand away from her face.

Laura smiles and kisses him on the cheek, “I’ll think about it... good night, Chris”.

“Good night, Laura”, he nods, smiling and watches as she walks into the hotel.

When Laura arrives in her room, she takes off her shoes and picks up her laptop from the desk, sitting down on her bed. She closes her eyes shortly, thinking about everything that happened tonight, their talks and how he made her feel - there is a warmth growing inside her chest and it feels so good that it makes her smile. She opens the laptop lid and starts writing her first chapter down.

To be continued…

For more chapters go to my MASTERLIST in my bio.

—————

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[eponymous-rose]

Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E62 (May 14, 2019)

The pre-roll summarizes last week’s episode well:

[id: A picture of a small pink toy house with sides that fold out and an oven that looks like just a great little sticker with a picture of something delicious cooking in the oven. Now I’m hungry. end id]

Fresh off their takeover of the Yee-haw Game Ranch, tonight’s guests are Laura Bailey and Ashley Johnson!

Brian’s camera angle has to be adjusted to accommodate his extra-floofy hair.

Announcements: In place of the Gif of the Week contest, there is now a Cosplay of the Week contest, and there will also be a cosplay gallery! Only individual cosplay photos will be considered for the Cosplay of the Week since there can only be one winner (group photos are fine for the gallery!). More info here. Art and cosplay submission has changed! Instead of e-mailing, you can now SUBMIT by visiting critrole.com/submit. Wyrmwood will be sponsoring both contests going forward.

Episode 62: Domestic Respite

Jester has cast Sending 38 times, making it her second-most-used spell after Cure Wounds.

It’s been roughly 3.5 months since Jester and Nott sent their letter to the Academy. Laura: “Oh no. That’s a long time that things could have happened behind the scenes.”

Dani, speaking for so many: “Ashley, you’re perfect, and I just want you on the show all the time.”

Jester likes having a roommate, and Laura thinks Beau also likes having one. "I think it’s a really nice partnership, that they get along really, really well.”

Yasha getting the balcony room was for a couple reasons: “sleeping under a roof like that is obviously a very new thing for Yasha” and also “from experience, from what she knows up until this point, is that she communes with her god outside”. She thinks he might be an “outside god”, but isn’t sure whether he comes indoors. Now I’m picturing a god with a doggy door.

Ashley was tempted by Caduceus’ space, but she didn’t want to steal his thunder. “I think there will be nights where Yasha will probably go in there to sleep at night.”

Laura: “I can paint you a hammock for the tree!”

Jester genuinely does want to make people happy, but “I think that desire comes from fear, probably, of disappointing people and of them not wanting to be around her. She grew up with expectations on her, and upon herself, maybe, that she put there. She equates that to being loved, and keeping that love.”

Brian asks about Laura’s inspiration for that idea, and Laura talks about how it wound up being a pretty natural evolution of the character once she started embodying her and fleshing her out a little more.

Yasha’s “very much struggling with the love that people give her, and so I think in terms of the house and everything, it’s obviously a weird thing.” Before Jester came in to decorate the room, Yasha wasn’t planning on putting anything in that room; it was going to be a bare-bones living space and nothing more. “It was just another moment of, this is a family, and they all care about each other, and Jester wanting to make Yasha happier, doing something nice, that was a beautiful little moment.” There’s some conflicting feelings. “I don’t know how long she’s going to last in that room.”

Laura points out that everyone in the group shares that feeling of not being deserving of affection. Ashley: “Do we all just feel that, secretly, and then put that in our characters?”

Laura has some ideas about decorating the other rooms that she doesn’t want to bring up in case they come up in-game. The only person she doesn’t have ideas for is Fjord, because he specifically asked her not to. She’s not sure what his deal is with the house. “He’s playing it very close to the chest.”

Blindspot’s been renewed for one more season. Ashley stares directly into the camera: “And then I’m home.”

They make a joke about a spinoff when Ashley’s character inevitably turns out to be the real villain on the show. Brian, staring directly into the camera: “And it shoots in Los Angeles.”

Yasha’s feelings of not being a full member of the M9 and often having to play catch-up (Ashley: “Not the condiment.”) is partially a reflection of Ashley’s feelings, but she thinks it’s something that may change given some time. “Obviously, everybody showing love towards each other is breaking down everybody in a good way.”

Jester originally just wanted to put a peephole in the wall “so she could spy on Fjord”. But then she told him, and things kind of spiraled from there in a way she hadn’t intended. Dani: “None of it was dirty... except for the initial idea.”

Lo, Henry is slain by the pineapple:

[id: Henry having a well-deserved snooze with a thoroughly mangled pineapple dog toy on top of him. end id]

Yasha’s getting more comfortable with sharing her past. “But a lot of that was sort of out of knowing that I have a little bit of a limited time at home. But I think it was at a point where we kind of had to discuss it. There’s still a lot that hasn’t been talked about, so that’s still the surface part of the story. It definitely has gotten to the point with them where she did feel comfortable confessing that with them. ‘Yeah, I’m a coward. Here’s my story.’”

Jester on the unintended information revealed in the letter to Astrid: “The thing is, I’m sure somebody like Astrid could figure it out, but most people know my mom as the Ruby of the Sea. It’s not like, come see Marion Lavorre! That’s not a name that’s out there.” Laura points out that it’s not even common knowledge that the Ruby has a daughter. “But it’s... not good. It can be traced. That was not the wisest decision, but I’m blaming that fully on Nott, because I didn’t know anything about Caleb’s backstory at the time.” All she knew at the time was that he potentially had an old girlfriend named Astrid.

Even the group’s reassurance hasn’t changed Yasha’s opinion that her actions were cowardly. Ashley doesn’t think she’ll ever change that opinion. “I think she realized in that moment how brave she was not. It’s like if you do something shitty in your life, you don’t ever really forget it.” Brian points out that there’s a difference between that and choosing to be defined by your worst moment, which Ashley agrees is closer to where Yasha is right now, and that aspect could change with time. “I think it did mean something that Beau said that [she’s a survivor]”, but there was still that aspect of ‘oh, you’re just saying that’.

On Nott expressing the possibility of leaving the M9 to stay with her family, Jester’s opinion? “Not good. But family’s important, too.” Yasha’s opinion is that, since she’s recovered her family and wants to be with them again, she should take advantage of that opportunity for a second chance. Laura and Ashley both can’t see a way forward right now where Nott doesn’t leave.

Laura: “Jester wouldn’t hold any animosity towards Caleb for the sins of the past. Unless it was something really bad. Like killing his parents or something.” Yasha also wouldn’t be likely to throw stones.

Fan Art of the Week: Jester painting the wildflowers. A long time is spent panning and zooming to hunt down the hidden dick.

Yasha following Fjord was mostly just because he’d been acting strange lately. “I just wanted to find out what he was up to.” Laura: “Sometimes you follow people.” Brian: “That’s how you find out what they’re up to.”

Laura, out of context: “It’s not a glory hole, it’s a peephole!”

Laura: “I feel like Jester’s been very forward with Fjord, and he hasn’t returned any of those flirtations... things that she thinks are flirtations. But there was definitely this friendly banter between them early on, and it drifted away when we were at sea. He hasn’t been talking to anybody about the turmoil he’s been going through or any of that stuff. I’m backing it off on those terms with her. Plus having the realization that all romances are not what you read in the book. She’s coming to these terms of, maybe I don’t understand how it is, and how I feel and how other people feel, I don’t know any of those things.”

Yes, Ashley knows that armor would improve her AC, but wearing armor would seriously limit Yasha’s abilities in battle. Laura: “You need a ring of AC, is what you need. But if we got it, you’d be fucked, because Caleb would just take it and keep it for himself.”

Laura, patting the Caleb plushie gently: “I give Liam a hard time, but honestly I do understand that Caleb’s a glass cannon and he needs the protection. I understand it,” Laura adds, patting the Caleb plushie with significantly greater force.

Yasha’s negative opinions of Xhorhas that she expressed earlier were partly colored by her experiences there, and partly to try to keep herself and the rest of the group away from her past. She also points out that if they encountered her tribe, they’d be within their rights to kill her, and she’d probably accept it.

Ashley’s excited at the prospect of Yasha going home because she’s looking forward to seeing what Matt will have done with the parts of Yasha’s backstory she wrote. Yasha’s opinion is considerably less positive. This is as far north as Yasha’s ever been. “I think she’ll continue to avoid it until they can’t anymore.”

Laura would be a lot more confident in the Gentleman being Jester’s dad if she’d thought to use Disguise Self in front of Marion. Jester, on the other hand, is entirely convinced that he’s her dad. She doesn’t fully think he’s intentionally ignoring her. She has a plan for what to do the next time they meet him.

Yasha’s favorite flower? “There’s still so many flowers that she hasn’t seen.” She may not have a favorite yet; she’s still learning what she likes.

Ashley calls out Brian for mispronouncing Yasha’s wife’s name: it’s definitely spelled and pronounced ‘Zuala’.

In a trust exercise, Ashley whips the Caleb plushie at Brian’s head.

Tune in shortly for the cast of Critical Role joining Joel Hodgson’s MST3K: The Podcomic!

[truthbeetoldmedia]

American Gods 2x03 “Muninn” Review

What an episode! Quite a bit happened this episode and I’m left only a little confused. We were finally introduced to Sam Blackcrow and New Media! Laura and Sweeney went their separate ways. Mr. Wednesday is both astounding and confusing as all hell. Shadow finally found a human connection.  

In the last episode, the train that Shadow, Laura, and Mad Sweeney were on had collided with Wednesday’s car. This episode picks up right where we left off. Laura is literally in pieces with Wednesday and Sweeney carrying pieces of her to the car. She refuses to leave unless they find Shadow, who is severely beaten and is feeling pretty disoriented after being tortured by Mr. Town. Mr. Wednesday spouts something about Shadow having to find his own way to where they’re going as opposed to, you know, just taking him themselves. I didn’t really understand this part. I can’t stand seeing Shadow Moon in pain and being left behind. It makes no sense for them to leave Shadow. I suppose Wednesday always has a reason for doing the things he does.  

My daughter, Sam Blackcrow (Devery Jacobs), has finally graced us with her presence. She’s the only human that Shadow has been able to make a connection with since this whole journey began and I think it’s a very important thing to remember. It started off with Shadow feeling all beat up and stumbles his way into a gas station and tries to work his charms into not paying a cent for anything. Sam adds to the scam in exchange for free gas for herself. From there, she offers him a ride. It’s refreshing to see Shadow interacting with another human. Although, it’s quite amusing that he actually has to ask her if she’s human.  

Mr. Wednesday and Mad Sweeney have taken Laura to see Mr. Ibis (Demore Barnes) in order to get sewn back together. Ibis gives Laura’s body about a week until even stitches won’t even keep her decaying body together. Desperate to keep her together, Wednesday and Sweeney both convince her to go with them. Mr. Wednesday is going to track down Argos, an all-seeing god, who could be the key to “recharging” Laura’s corpse. (I say just let her rot.) Meanwhile, Sweeney is looking to go to New Orleans.  

Well, Laura actually parts ways with Mad Sweeney. Despite her hatred for Mr. Wednesday, she agrees to follow him. While Laura and Sweeney are antagonistic in a funny way, I’d say that Laura is quite petulant in her antagonism with Wednesday. She honestly sounds like an annoying, bratty teenager with all her “You don’t know mes”. Mr. Wednesday is a difficult god. He does things the roundabout way. However, he’s been around a long time. He can get the job done. I think it’d do Laura well to remember that, especially if she doesn’t want to fall apart quite so easily.  

Anyways, in order to catch up with Argos, Mr. Wednesday and Laura have to travel to the past and revisit all the old Argos’? Argos in his former forms? Each exit requires a sacrifice. Each past form they visit, we get kind of the same back-and-forth between these two. Mr. Wednesday and his “Shadow doesn’t love this Laura, he loves the old Laura” and Laura and her “You might know my story, but you don’t know me.” While Mr. Wednesday is actually quite entertaining, all I hear are the parents of the Peanut Gallery from Charlie Brown whenever Laura opens her mouth.  

Media also returns as New Media (Kahyun Kim)! New Media is an upgrade. Where Media was all the old stars, New Media is very up-to-date with pop culture. I’m kind of loving all the emoji faces and bright colors. She’s spunky and she’s got flair. Her presence also seems to be a bother to Technical Boy, who, as you recall, has been tasked to retrieve her. As New Media puts it, New Media and Technical Boy are a bit “redundant”, but that doesn’t make me love them any less.  

So Technical Boy and New Media are trying to break away from Mr. World. They go to Argos because of his connections. That would be the very same Argos that Mr. Wednesday and Laura are looking for. The scene that happens next is definitely the weirdest thing I have ever seen in my life, but I couldn’t look away. Basically, this ugly, blind, pasty Argos has these technical tentacles. They are what keep him connected to the world and how he sees everything. Technical Boy isn’t having much luck at trying to get Argos to sever ties with Mr. World and join them, but New Media changes that. She starts fondling a tentacle and then a tentacle connects with, uh, her vagina. There’s no other way to say it. It appears to be technical tentacle quasi-sex. This scene certainly blows the human-eating vagina out of the waters on the weirdness scale for me.  

While New Media and Argos are...having relations, Mr. Wednesday and Laura have finally caught up. Mr. Wednesday informs Laura that if she kills Argos, she’ll be able to absorb Argos’ power and it’ll recharge her body for a bit. They have another back-and-forth on whether or not she should actually trust him, but can she afford to not trust him at this point? Laura sneaks into the room where Argos, New Media, and Technical Boy are. Tech Boy sees her and knows what she’s about to do, but he doesn’t stop her. Laura kills Argos. Technical Boy asks if that was Mr. Wednesday’s play. If Mr. World finds out, he’ll probably say Mr. Wednesday beat them there or something. He’ll probably play ignorant. It is a war, afterall.  

After Laura recharges, Mr. Wednesday leaves her behind. He refuses to have Laura come with him. Thank goodness for that. Mr. Wednesday winds up back at the funeral home where Mr. Ibis resides. Sam’s truck pulls up and that’s where Sam and Shadow part ways, at least for now. Shadow’s had enough of being left behind. He wants answers and Mr. Wednesday continues to refuse to give him any. Wednesday does give Shadow an out: If he wakes up tomorrow still feeling all beat up and awful, he can take the car and leave, if he so chooses.  

I have a feeling that Shadow’s journey with Mr. Wednesday ain’t done yet.   

Some thoughts on the episode:

I would probably kill for Sam Blackcrow.

I would also die for her.  

I actually like New Media a lot more than Media so far. I can tell the relationship between New Media and Technical Boy is going to be something like Laura and Mad Sweeney and I’m here for it.  

Sweeney’s luck is certainly something, isn’t it? Has me in stitches each episode!  

If Laura could just listen for once, that’d be pretty great.  

Sam + Shadow = Bros for Life

Hope Sweeney has fun with that bus full of radical Christians!  

American Gods airs on Sundays at 8/7c on Starz.

Sarah’s episode rating: 🐝🐝🐝🐝

[rorykillmore]

for each character or as many as u wanna do. if they knew that they would lose their memories of denny when they went home to their world, and they could only remember 3 people who would they pick? not counting canonmates

oh man....

for nightcloud and bramblestar i’m gonna start off and say. technically most of the people they know are their canonmates, so, welp!

but bramblestar’s is still easy: he wouldn’t want to forget any of his kids. technically only 2 of them grew up on denny so for a third i’ll say... hollyleaf since he didn’t actually KNOW her from his canonpoint. but he’s so glad he got the chance to meet her.

i also have to cheat a little with nightcloud. she’s met and befriended mothwhisper, and wouldn’t want to forget her, but also... violetpaw, who is after her time, and tigerstar, who is DEAD in her time. but tigerstar not because she likes him but because she’s been so... motivated by her bitterness towards him, and that’s what’s kept her going.

for siobhan, rocket and raptor red are absolutely the top two. i think siobhan... would be scared of who she’d be in a world where she never met them. they’re her best friends, and she wouldn’t trade them for anything. for a third... i mean, maybe quill?? she doesn’t know quill that well still, but i don’t think she’d want to forget one of the guardians. they’re so important to rocket, and she kind of considers herself one of them now.

camille’s first choice would be felix! for uh... better or for worse. she loves felix. once she finds out about what he’s been up to, no doubt she’ll be distraught but... i don’t think she’d choose to forget him even then, any more than she would like, choose to forget amma. for a second choice, i think laurel because she and laurel have been through some shit together, and also the whole experience with her was kind of defining of camille’s work on denny. aaand i’m also gonna say she wouldn’t want to forget harry, because like. who would want to forget meeting harry potter!!! but also they ended up having a very poignant relationship, and he was... the first person she opened up to a little bit, and she would want to remember that

sly would never want to forget nyssa. he’ll always appreciate how kind she was to him -- maybe not always nice, but kind. she invited him to the legends’ thanksgiving when she realized he wasn’t spending it with anyone!!! and in general he just... respected her a lot.  maive probably ranks up here too because, i mean, sly is a sap and once he considers someone his friend he feels like they basically become a part of him. and lastly, probably mike!! who he’s become very endeared to and who he feels... even he learned something through helping mike. so yeah.

villanelle loves fox and ruby so much, as much as she knows how to love anyone, really, and she’d never want to give up remembering what that feels like. fox is like... the closest thing to a best friend she’s ever had, the most solidified trust with another person she’s ever felt. for all that he’s an anthropomorphic fox from space, he maybe makes her feel the most normal she’s ever felt. and ruby... does something equally miraculous in the kindness she tends to bring out of villanelle, the little bits of empathy villanelle has learned from her, and even though their relationship is so much more complicated now, forgetting ruby would so... it would make her so different

it’s actually kind of hard to pick a third person for her because the other two people she really has strong feelings for are eve and konstantin. she has other relationships i really like, but none that have been like, SO notably impactful on her as of yet. you know what.... maybe mothra. if only for the simple reason that villanelle wouldn’t wanna forget anything as beautiful as mothra.

and laura wants to forget denny, in general. just kidding, she would want to remember leon, for sure!! they had such a... genuine friendship, and laura hasn’t really experienced that in a long time. she would want to remember that leon genuinely cared about her, and that it felt like he made her a kinder person. gregg is kind of in a similar vein, even if laura doesn’t know him as well. he’s someone she’s actually formed a connection with. and i’m gonna cheat a little bit and also say the technical boy because!! they didn’t really know each other in canon, and on denny they got the chance, and found they had more in common than they realized. laura wouldn’t wanna go back to just... being indifferent to him.