#Solene reblog

[solenesunshinee]

"YOU KNOW COUNTRYHUMANS?! LIKE— HUMANIZED COUNTRYS. IS THAT- WE CAN LIKE— THATS UNDERSTANDABLE. DONELLA JUST TOLD ME OF AN EXISTENCE OF COMPANYHUMANS. WHICH IS LIKE— MIND BOGGLING TO ME."

[Solene looked so confused, shocked, like she just learned about something so crazy but true it couldn’t even be described. She stood there, mostly because she ran full speed to get here and was too tired to move.]

Ooc: Solene is very fun to play, also

[Solene rushed in, practically out of breath. She took a moment to catch whatever breath and words she’d lost before shouting;]

"WHAT THE FUCK IS A COMPANYHUMAN?!" [Solene was so baffled, so gobsmacked, so UTTERLY confused that she couldn’t even process anything else besides asking someone.]

"…I am so sorry for shouting I am so confused right now it’s so hard to believe." [Solene looked like she just saw a pig fly, kinda like the feeling of ‘is this actually real? Am I hallucinating?’ All over her face.]

- @solenesunshinee

AH- oh-

..a what?? hey hey calm down- uh, elaborate, what on earth are you talking about-

[fitzrove]

Reblogging that polar exploration post accidentally introduced me to a Finnish todolf poem xD Original Swedish & someone's German translation under the cut

Hjertats morgon (SE)

Mörker rådde i mitt sinne,

Kallt mitt arma hjerta kändes,

Innan kärleken der inne

Af en vänlig ängel tändes.

Ser du solen efter natten

Strålande på fästet tåga,

Dimmor skingras, land och vatten

I ett helgon skimmer låga.

Ser du bilden af mitt hjerta:

Så dess första morgon grydde,

Så med fruktan, tomhet, smärta

Skuggan från dess verldar flydde.

Sol, som lifvets natt förjagar,

Kärlek, om ett bröst du glömmer,

Hvartill dessa mulna dagar,

Som man utan dig fördrömmer.

Dessa dagar evigt like,

Dessa hopplöst långa stunder,

Detta lif i dödens rike

Utan ljus och utan under.

Des Herzens Morgen

Finsternis in meinen Sinnen,

kalt mein armes Herz ich fühlte,

bis ein Engel, bis nach innen,

es mit Liebeswärme füllte.

Siehst du nach der Nacht die Sonnen-

strahlen durch die Festung fliegen,

Land und Wasser wie versonnen

unter goldnem Schimmer liegen.

Sieh das Bild in meinem Herzen:

So sein erster Morgen graute,

so, mit Furcht, mit Leere, Schmerzen,

Schatten sich nicht zeigen traute.

Lebensdunkel flieht die Sonne,

Liebe kann ein Herz versäumen,

Wolkentage ohne Wonne

muss ich ohne dich verträumen.

Diese Tage, immer gleiche,

diese endlos langen Stunden,

Leben in des Todes Reiche,

ohne Licht und ohne Wunder!

© Willi Grigor, 2016,

aus dem Schwedischen

[thewarinourstarwars]

I'm taking a break from the Solene Runs (as fun as she and her Black Hole Polycule are) and will reload a save from when Solene was 15 because she somehow managed to unlock being the Governor's assistant relatively early.

Why is this important, you might ask?

Solene's about to get a name change. Solano is our girl this run, and we'll be pursuing a Dys romance and a few different endings in this save.

Because I have learned via the Exocolonist Wiki about a new subplot I had no idea existed and have never triggered before despite over 30-something runs of the game.

Strap in, we're about to get into deep spoiler territory in the reblogs.

[mformoegso]

Ask game: List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who liked or reblogged something from you! Get to know your mutuals and followers ☀️

Uhhhh cute

At få solen i ansigtet på meget kold frost dag

Mine venner

Når mine planter får nye blade

At bade

At få nyt sejt tøj

[deadchovsky]

Current Blog Title Song: Love in the Time of Socialism by Yellow House

Hi:) You can call me Finley, or just Deadchovsky if you want!

Some facts about me:

I don't care about what pronouns you use for me tbh, any are fine!

I have the blog @bmcincorrectquotes that I very rarely update. I also run @drpepperofficialbrand, which is my dr pepper blog.

Spam liking/reblogging is not only allowed, it's encouraged!!!

Terfs and r*dfems I dont like you lol<3 Just say you dick ride for the kyriarchy and go LMFAO.

Blinkies, banners and links under the cut! FLASH WARNING!

Listen to Deadchovsky and Thistle Street!!!

[mosraev]

Bag ved rosensmile gemmer meter lange torne, hun borer ind og drikker af hans blod//that behind her rosey smile is mile long thorns she'll bore down on his neck and drink his blood with. - Elverhøj (Mosræv, 2017)

Second year on summer camp and last one with a continous course both weeks I recorded and wrote this song over 11 days. It is inspired by a danish folkmetal band called Huldre yet since I cannot play metal myself I've called this my 'acoustic folk metal song'. It is about a knight, a lady and their unfortunate meeting with elven vampires.

Recorded between 07/17- 07/27 2017 - Pre-T - Lyrics (original) under the line *translation arrives in a reblog

Stay creative, my fellow foxes 🦊💚

Lyrics (danish): En ungmø står.

En ungmø står I skovens kant midt i ulvetimen omkring Elverhøj.

Gyldent hår slikker hendes silkeskuldre,

en lilje mellem tidsler ude ved Elverhøj.

Hun spejder ud i natten og bader sig i månens skær,

En sulten tiger altid ude på rov.

Kaster line ud til glubske mænd der går forbi

og tror, at de kan vinde hendes hånd.

Fa la li lej, ude ved skoven ved Elverhøj.

En ridder går.

En ridder går af landevejen

der bugter sig og bakker sig nær Elverhøj.

Han vil fri til sin kvinde, hende der har vundet hans hjerte

Der bor på den modsatte side af Elverhøj.

Men da han blikket fanger på månebarnet i lysningen,

han har alt andet glemt.

Forhekset af hendes skønhed han lader sig lokke ind i skoven,

Hvor månen ej er tændt.

Fa la li lej, ude ved skoven ved Elverhøj.

Forbundet og forblændet han er opslugt af hende,

Ænser ikke at de slentrer hen mod Elverhøj.

Og skoven famler om dem og sletter alle spor

om at der er en sti tilbage væk fra Elverhøj.

Hun griner og hun danser, for hun ved hun har kontrollen.

Hun vil få sig et festmåltid i nat.

Slikker sig om munden bare ved tanken om rødguldet

der pumper lige under hans hals.

Fa la li lej, ude ved skoven ved Elverhøj.

Ved højens fod stopper hun op,

Hun cirkulerer rundt om han og jagere ved Elverhøj.

Og hendes søster tilslutter sig valsen,

Mens skoven holder vejret omkring Elverhøj.

Hun træder ind i kredsen, hvor hun river tøjet af ham.

Den arme ridder aner ikke råd.

Men bag ved rosensmilet gemmer meter lange torne,

(kom til mig. du skal ikke være bange)

Hun borer ind og drikker af hans blod.

(jeg gør ikke noget. Det gør ikke ondt. Tro mig)

Fa la li lej, ude ved skoven ved Elverhøj.

En jomfru står.

En jomfru står ved skovens kant

og hilser solen godmorgen omkring Elverhøj.

Hun undrer sig, hvorfor hendes ikke ridder ikke kom hjem

til hende omkring Elverhøj.

Hun træder ind i skoven for at lede efter spor,

Men hvad hun finder, er et mareridt.

I skovens dyb ved elverfolkets rige ligger hendes ridder,

et bloddrænet lig.

Fa la li lej, ude ved skoven ved Elverhøj.

[win-terz]

chaewon icons

— like or reblog if you save, don’t repost

— by solene

[ljussangen]

I posted 16,240 times in 2022

2,197 posts created (14%)

14,043 posts reblogged (86%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@ljussangen

@hairybreeches

@metsienkuiske

@beaconinthedark

@nordicfeelings

I tagged 3,614 of my posts in 2022

#sverige - 1,200 posts

#skog - 708 posts

#solen - 477 posts

#sjö - 285 posts

#jag älskar dig - 221 posts

#musik - 206 posts

#bäck - 190 posts

#det är som oss - 101 posts

#;-; - 99 posts

#norrsken - 98 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#how regretful it must be to be taking your last breath and realize that your whole life was a lie and that you just did what you thought was

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

194 notes - Posted July 12, 2022

#4

With flaming head and flaming wheel, Sunna find back your way!

238 notes - Posted March 20, 2022

#3

too romantic, too ride-or-die, too retarded

304 notes - Posted March 4, 2022

#2

474 notes - Posted March 17, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

If you want to wear medieval clothing, or bronze age clothing, or victorian clothing, or alternative clothing, or folk dress, etc as your daily wear, this is your message to just do so. 

639 notes - Posted January 28, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[solensdesperation]

Welcome to the blog!

here i'll be posting + reblogging content too filthy for my main blog - most art will feature the lady above - Solen - in various yummy scenarios. This goes without saying, but MINORS DNI.

This blog will feature plenty of OC x CANON content, so buckle up!

main courses:

Slashers

Monsters

Aliens

Silco (he deserves his own point bc yeah)

take care ! 💋

[solenesunshinee]

Reblogging this on the solene blog, as well.

Ooc: hey anons leave Daisuke and Bailey alone, if you wanna get your weird ass thoughts out go to my inbox instead I'll take the damn hits

These mods are minors!! Please leave them alone

((THIS. PLEASE STOP DROOLING OVER BAILEY HE LIKE, JUST TURNED 19 DAMN.))

[faithofgods]

Two facts from the last reblog that caught my attention is that 1) Flor's a DILF 👁👁 2) Solen questionably eats glass (probably like crackers too)

1) Of course Florian would be a dilf

2) Sol (all Sols! We believe in equality here) does not eat glass lol, but they do carry the unquestionably stupid energy of someone who would eat glass on a dare or something

[spidermuses]

SPIDERMUSES // MULTIFANDOM MULTIMUSE // OC AND CROSSOVER-FRIENDLY

Rules + muse list under readmore for mobile users! :)

Rules!

Respect goes both ways. As long as you respect my rules, I will respect yours.

This blog is not open to TERFs, pro-shippers, MAPs, exclusionists, or Tories. I will hardblock on sight.

This includes anyone who writes adult/minor content, incest content, and NSFW of minor characters- including aged up versions of said minors. This is not something I am willing to compromise on.

This also includes fetish-centric blogs. Not for moral reasons, it just makes me incredibly uncomfortable.

Do not use my icons. They are either self-made or made by @detectivenao

Personal (non-RP) blogs are welcome to follow, but please do not reblog threads.

If I don’t want to interact with you, please respect that. Sometimes people simply aren’t compatible when it comes to writing together, and it isn’t a comment on you or your character.

OCs and crossovers are welcome here, as long as there is an About page I can refer to. :-)

Regarding NSFW: It is rare that I will write NSFW, and when I do, it will be both tagged accordingly and kept under a readmore. I ask that any partner I write this with does the same, and that minors do not engage with this content.

Additionally, I will not write NSFW with minor muns or minor muses. If you ask, it will be an immediate hardblock. The same applies towards pokemon- I will not write human/pokemon ships or human-pokemon NSFW.

I am often on mobile, which means I am unable to format replies or check whether we’re mutuals.

I will send passwords when I can, but sometimes it will genuinely slip my mind, and for that I apologise.

My messages are always open! Replies may be sporadic, as real life factors and health may get in the way, but I’ll do my best to get back to you! c:

Muse list!

Not all muses currently have bios available, but all are available for RP. If you want information about any of them, message me :)

BNHA:

Makoto Tsukauchi

Toshinori Yagi

Hana Shimura

Tenko Shimura

Hitoshi Shinsou

Mei Hatsume

Mustard

[OC] Yuuma Amata

POKEMON:

Bea

Professor Mirror

[OC] Dayna Morris

Marnie

Rui

[OC] Solen Aden

FANDOMS TO BE ADDED:

Steven Universe

Danganronpa

Undertale + Deltarune

[annalegend]

I posted 2,830 times in 2021

2670 posts created (94%)

160 posts reblogged (6%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 0.1 posts.

I added 294 tags in 2021

#mensagem - 74 posts

#chico xavier - 54 posts

#bom dia - 39 posts

#frases - 31 posts

#boa noite - 21 posts

#marília mendonça - 17 posts

#anacl - 17 posts

#felicidade - 14 posts

#espiritismo - 14 posts

#bom dia! - 13 posts

Longest Tag: 33 characters

#o evangelho segundo o espiritismo

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

"Aqueles que amamos nunca morrem. Apenas partem de nós."🤍🕊 Descanse em paz Marília Mendonça.

26 notes • Posted 2021-11-06 22:12:24 GMT

#4

A Morte não é Nada

"A morte não é nada.

Eu somente passei

para o outro lado do Caminho.

Eu sou eu, vocês são vocês.

O que eu era para vocês,

eu continuarei sendo.

Me dêem o nome

que vocês sempre me deram,

falem comigo

como vocês sempre fizeram.

Vocês continuam vivendo

no mundo das criaturas,

eu estou vivendo

no mundo do Criador.

Não utilizem um tom solene

ou triste, continuem a rir

daquilo que nos fazia rir juntos.

Rezem, sorriam, pensem em mim.

Rezem por mim.

Que meu nome seja pronunciado

como sempre foi,

sem ênfase de nenhum tipo.

Sem nenhum traço de sombra

ou tristeza.

A vida significa tudo

o que ela sempre significou,

o fio não foi cortado.

Porque eu estaria fora

de seus pensamentos,

agora que estou apenas fora

de suas vistas?

Eu não estou longe,

apenas estou

do outro lado do Caminho…

Você que aí ficou, siga em frente,

a vida continua, linda e bela

como sempre foi."

Santo Agostinho

29 notes • Posted 2021-11-01 10:22:21 GMT

#3

30 notes • Posted 2021-11-23 10:52:56 GMT

#2

35 notes • Posted 2021-11-07 12:09:08 GMT

#1

99 notes • Posted 2021-11-17 10:29:20 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[pinespittinink]

@muddshadow your tags are always so LOVELY 😭 I’m going to be (re)outlining Star White and Solene’s Verse soon, I’m very emo about the romances in both of them, though SV has more Plot™️ which is uhhhh— well it comes less easily to me

Bloodlines actually has a polished draft available to read on wattpad! It’s currently on the back burner rn (I queried prematurely and shot myself in the foot a bit) but I’m currently reworking some narrative elements that are going to strengthen it A Lot.

📸 THREE PHOTOS TAG ✨

rules: find 3 photos/images (they can be anything at all, memes, vintage photographs, quotes, anything) that you feel describe your wip. If you want, you can tell a little bit your story, too.

{ the great glavenisean theater }

historical fantasy/speculative fiction, increasingly suspect morally grey pov, agender prima donna, something strange is in the theater 🎭🥂⏳(enormous supporting cast, envious mc)

{ in the deep of the trees }

secondary world high fantasy, sentient nature, romantic subplot, true neutral weirdo meets lawful/neutral evil straddler 🔪🖤🌿 (agoraphobic supporting character, mental illness rep)

and for my (currently) less talked about wips…

{ bloodlines }

secondary world high fantasy, prominent forbidden romance, original species, opposing cultures 💛🕊⚔️ (bisexuals everywhere, themes of being an outsider vs belonging)

{ star white }

science-fantasy/space fairytale retelling, spans a billion years, the ship is alive, the dog can read minds 💙🌌🌟 (loving bdsm dynamic, soft gays)

{ solene’s verse }

secondary world epic fantasy, genuine found family, disc-world, faustian deals with new gods 🪐🌊🔮 (trans rep, all sorts of queer characters)

thank you @muddshadow and @aninkwellofnectar! I’m taggingggg: @sentfromwolves @carrotblr @clockworkgalaxies @florraisons @bebewrites @ladywithalamp @awritingcaitlin @jess-p-edits @equusgirl-writes @adayforducks @circa-specturgia and anyone else who’s interested!

[sofrpc]

⌖*ﾟ— 400 UNIQUE AND UNDERUSED FEMALE NAMES

in honor of returning to the rpc, i have created a masterlist of 400 unique and underused female names ! these are all listed in alphabetical order, and although i dont claim any of these as my own, please don’t copy and paste straight into another masterlist. feel free to use the names in any way you like, i hope this gives you muse for your characters (my faves are bolded) — also smash that like or reblog if you found this useful, thank you !

A

aliyah, acacia, adabelle, adair, adelie, adelina, adley, adrienne, ainsley, alana, alaska, alessia, alfie, allora, amanita, amara, ambrosia, amelie, ambrosia, analia, anastasia, andrea, aneka, angelica, ana-marie, ana-sofia, anthea, ariel, arielle, arizona, asteria, astrid, atlanta, auburn, audrey, aurelia, aurora, autumn, avalee, avanelle, avery, aviana, axa

B

baila, bailey, baize, bambi, bardot, barry, beatrix, bee, benilde, bethia, beverly, bexley, billie, bindi, birdie, blake, blanche, blaze, blossom, blue, bonita, bonnie, braelyn, brielle, brinley, brinx, brona, bronte, brooke, bryce

C

cailin, calla, camila, camille, carmen, catalina, cecilia, celine, celestia, chanel, chantelle, chelsea, cheryl, claire, clara, claudia, clea, cleo, colette, corine, courtney, cynthia

D

dahlia, dakota, darlene, darodah, dawn, deidra, delaney, delilah, denise, desiree, destiny, dinah, dove, dylan

E

eden, effie, eileen, eiza, electra, elena, elise, ellie, elodie, eloise, elora, ember, emerson, esme, estelle, evelyn, evolee

F

farah, farren, faye, felicity, fern, finley, fleur, florence, frankie, freya, frieda

G

gaia, galiena, genie, gia, gianna, gigi, gisela, giselle, genesis, grecia, greer, greta, gwendolyn

H

hadlee, harlow, harlee, harlyn, harper, hayden, hazel, helena, heidi, holland

I

ida, ileana, imogen, indianna, indie, inessa, ingrid, inna, iris, irene, isabel, isadora, isla, ivana, ivory, ivy

J

jacinta, jadelyn, jamie, jamilla, jaylah, jenna, jersey, jocelyn, jodie, jolene, jordyn, juliana, july, juniper, juno

K

kaia, kalina, kalani, karina, katherine, kaya, kaylee, keegan, kelby, kelsey, kendall, kendra, kenna, kiara, kimberly, kinsley, kristina, kyra

L

lara, laurel, layla, leia, leighton, leilani, lena, lesley, leona, leticia, liberty, liliane, lilo, loraine, lorelei, lori, london, lorena, lucia, luisa, lumi, luna, lynn

M

maeve, maize, malia, marcella, mariana, marissa, margot, marisol, marjorie, marlene, matilde, mavis, mazikeen, melodie, merlia, micah, mikaela, mila, milena, miriam, mirielle, mona, myrsina

N

nadia, nadine, naomi, naressa, nathalia, naya, neila, neo, nicola, nikita, noelle, nora, nova, nur, nyla, nyx

O

octavia, odelia, odina, olena, olita, olive, olivia, olympia, opal, ophelia, oriana, orion, orla, orlena

P

paige, paislee, pandora, pearle, penelope, pepper, perrie, petra, peyton, phoebe, pilar, pip, piper, pippa, priscilla, priya, prudence

Q

queenie, quella, quinn, quinta

R

raffa, rana, raven, regina, remi, rhea, rhiannon, river, robin, rome, rosabelle, rosalie, rosalyn, rosette, rowan

S

sable, sadie, sage, sahar, salem, samira, saoirse, saskia, savannah, scout, selina, serafin, seraphina, shani, shenae, sia, siobhan, sloane, solene, solstice, sonya, summer, suri, sydney, sylvia

T

tamara, tana, tasmin, tasha, tatiana, teagan, tessa, thalia, thea, tilda, toni, tove, tricia, trixie, tuesday

U

udelle, ulani, uri, urma, ursa

V

valerie, valentina, valentine, venus, vera, verona, vivian

W

weslyn, whitney, willa, willow, winnie, wynona, wynter

X

xahlia, xana, xandra, xanthi, xena, xylia

Y

yara, yasmine, yana, yani, ysabel, yvette, yvonne

Z

zada, zahara, zara, zariah, zaylee, zeina, zelda, zelena, zeriah, zoelle, zuri

[jj-ktae]

Game Eight - Treasuring -

Title : Survival Games Genre : AU, Angst, Fluff, Romance Pairing : Taeyong x You (reader) Summary : A deserted island and no hope left. There is only despair and this boy, Lee Taeyong, who seems to be the only survivor. You both were on the flight KAL134, from Auckland to Seoul. Words : 4866

You can find the previous chapters in my masterlist. I will also reblog and add the links.

Game Eight - Treasuring - 

You are a mess. Tears are flowing down your face in frustration, guilt and sadness. They mix with dried blood and turn you into a wounded puppy, helpless.

Is everyone gone? Are they dead? You can’t stop crying, head throbbing because of the intense sobbing.

“Hey, calm down. It’s over.” Taeyong didn’t let go of you and is still trying to calm you, but you can’t stop. Not when Timothy probably died. Not when so many people might die because they wanted to survive.

You didn’t approve of their plan nor agreed with their decision but it doesn’t mean they deserved to die.

“They might die! I should have stopped everyone; I should have done something!” Your screams are muffled into his clothes as you plunge further against a shockingly calm Taeyong. 

He lets you repeat the same sentences over and over again, until your voice turns raspy and you can’t find your own breath. 

You lift your head, leaving behind you the traces of a sorrowful moment on his tee-shirt but he doesn’t even care.

“They wouldn’t have listened. They didn’t want to stay, they would have done it with or without you.” He knows too much about survival; Taeyong experienced this setup so many times, he had to beg his comrades so much but they never listened. “There was nothing you could have done but you’re alive.”

You scoff, the pain too dull to make you rational. “I don’t care! I’m alive in the middle of this fucking island! What’s the point?” You’re suddenly mad at the whole world. You’re mad at the plane, mad at your family, mad at yourself for ending up in such a situation. 

“So what do you want to do, hm? We’re talking about this again?” Taeyong doesn’t like how he has to lecture you every time something happens. He understands the struggle, he understands your pain, but he can’t understand your mourning for people who were about to let you die and abandon you. “Your boyfriend was running away when I arrived. He was about to let you die in that forest and you’re ready to give up everything for his sake?”

You look horrified when he is done talking. What kind of person is unfazed when their significant other dies? “He wasn’t even running away, he panicked!” Taeyong might have the ability to forget things with a mere sentence, but you can’t. 

The boy sighs, getting up and walking away because he just wanted to take care of you but you had to make it hard for the both of you again. “Forget it.” Taeyong doesn’t want to fight. He is just glad you didn’t die.

You walk behind him and stay silent until you are both back in the camp and aim for a place to lay down for the night.

Everyone is going to ask questions when the night ends. You don’t want to deal with annoyed people. 

Doyoung wonders what is happening when Taeyong comes back with a stained tee-shirt and an angry face. “What’s wrong? Did you hurt yourself?”

Taeyong shakes his head. “Nothing. That guy’s groups, they tried running away and…things happened, they left Y/N behind. She almost died.”

“What?” Doyoung gets up and grabs a couple of supplies. “Is she okay? You’re saying this like it’s no big deal, there’s even blood on your clothes!”

Johnny arrives when he hears his friend. “What’s happening?”

Taeyong gets up to grab some water. “Her eyebrow arch bled but it stopped. I don’t know about the rest, Doyoung. I’m just mad, right now.”

Johnny peaks at Doyoung quickly before humming. “If she’s fine why are you mad?” His eyes are wide opened. 

Doyoung rolls his eyes, “I’ll go check on her, just in case.” and takes a couple of things he thinks he would need. 

Johnny shakes his head as soon as the latter is gone. “What the hell happened?” 

Taeyong looks annoyed but also pensive. Johnny knows that face, it’s Taeyong’s face whenever something troubles him and he doesn’t know how to deal with it. 

After a couple of seconds and a loud sigh, Taeyong clicks his tongue. “They tried to leave the island.”

Johnny frowns. “who?” 

“Their group. Y/N’s boyfriend and their friends. They tried to leave but got attacked by a beast and it was pouring earlier and the waves were strong so I don’t know if they survived.” Taeyong announces, a tired hand going to his face to rub the remains of the night.

Johnny tilts his head to the side, analysing the sentences and looking around the room. When everything’s assimilated, he finally gets up and grabs his friend’s hand. “what the hell are you doing here?”

“Huh?” Taeyong blinks, eyes now locked on Johnny who is trying to pull him out of his spot in their hut. 

Johnny puffs his cheeks, visibly exhausted to be dealing with such a hopeless case. “She might be the only survivor and you left her alone? Why is Doyoung the one going to check on her?”

“He is a doctor,” Taeyong starts, pulling his hand out of his grasp and finding a better position. “She hurt herself.”

“And you don’t care? Why do you look so mad?” Johnny tries, his face now a tad teasing.

“I’m not mad. Leave it.” Taeyong knows he won’t get out of this without a piece of explanation so he gets up and leaves, not in the mood to deal with the numerous questions when he isn’t sure he even wants to answer.

He knows you almost died and a tragedy happened, he knows he should be saddened, worried, protective but he can only be annoyed.

He finds a peaceful spot and leans behind a pile of logs, his head heavily hitting the wood.

All he can think of is how easy it was for you to leave him behind.

--

“The cut isn’t deep and I’m running out of Band-Aids, it should be fine as long as you don’t rub it.” Doyoung is busy sorting his stuff into his backpack but he is sure you’re not as fine as you’re pretending. Jaehyun joined him when he found him rushing and they are both about to leave but Doyoung seem to be stuck to the ground, like there’s something you need to share.

“Can you take this back for me?” he gives Jaehyun is backpack and thanks him when the latter nods, leaving silently.

“What happened?” He asks you, half-kneeling in front of your curled body. “Taeyong told me you were about to leave?”

You nod, exhausted and looking into space. Now that even Doyoung knows about it, the rest of the camp will most probably avoid you. “They found a tiny boat, they wanted to leave. I was going to do the same.” What’s the point telling them you didn’t want to leave? The truth is you were found by Taeyong while trying to run away. 

“I mean- How come you were the only one left behind?” Doyoung tries, somehow wary and trying not to hint that maybe they didn’t care about you.

You feel it when you look up at his cautious face. It screams pity. 

They were about to leave her in the woods.

“Thanks for treating my wound.” You conclude, eager for him to leave so you can cry in peace.

It’s a never-ending night.

You find it hard to move on. The day after is a mess of people side-eyeing you and judging, which does nothing to ease your anxious state. It makes you isolate yourself on the beach, feeling pained yet thankful that no one is asking for justifications.

Taeyong becomes a ghost. 

He is nowhere to be seen, not even next to his friends who are busy around the camp. Doyoung treats every cut and wound while Johnny is friendly with everyone. Mark does his best to help and Jaehyun is always covered in mud, like he has been looking around for food all day in the jungle.

But there’s no trace of Taeyong. He seems to be inexistent, avoiding and it makes you wonder if he is as mad as the others that you tried to escape. You can’t blame him; you were selfish even though you were not fond of the idea initially.

But at the same time, Timothy was your boyfriend so there was nothing more you could have done.

So there’s nothing you could do except wait on the beach all day. People stare at you and you wonder if they’re judging you for what you’ve done or because you’re not even helping.

It doesn’t matter, you’re not hungry enough to care about food and you have some water left. It’s an unpleasant feeling but you can’t fight against it nor act like you don’t deserve the bitter state you’re in. 

It’s been a week and even Solene avoids you.

Come to think of it, this whole plane crash was a mess from the beginning. Ending alone with Taeyong while almost everyone else had survived near the plane was some wicked fate. Dragging yourself in the jungle, starving and feeling like shit because you were under the responsibility of a guy who almost died because of you.

It was all doomed from the beginning.


Finding people had been a relief. Being friends with Solene, helping around the camp, witnessing the way Taeyong got better and socialized at his own pace.

Then Timothy showed up and turned you into a recluse, unaware of other people’s struggles.

He literally made you like this, lonely on the beach as you’re walking toward the jungle because you can’t bear the way everyone looks at you.

You don’t see Taeyong, hidden between the trees as he is softly hitting the sand with his feet.

“What did you get?” Johnny nods toward his cotton bag. “Please don’t say cockroaches or something like that.”

Taeyong rolls his eyes, throwing the bag on the floor and sighing. “Hares. Two of them.” 

Mark and Doyoung make a face, while one of the lady leans toward the bag before nodding. “You’ve got some guts, man.”

“Let him be, we need meat. Here, we’ll cook it for everyone.” The lady scolds the two, heading toward her comrades who are already preparing the sweet potatoes Jaehyun found earlier. “Thank god you youngsters are here. If you ever decided to leave like the others did we’d be dead.”

Doyoung snickers, unaware to the glances his friends send his way.


Taeyong leaves, silent. 

--

You don’t remember which way you came from. This jungle is still as unwelcoming as ever, with its large trees and leaves hiding sounds and cracks you know too well. You tried walking back, feet following marks you guess are yours, but now you’re going deeper and deeper into it.

It’s funny that you’re not even scared anymore. The chirping and crisping don’t startle you, nor the tiny bites you feel on your skin from probably yet another angry spider. You used to freak out, rubbing your scalp violently every time something would barely brush your face. 

Taeyong would laugh at you and look at your face and scalp for forever, until you’d stop whining like a kid.

Now there’s only you, walking with no purpose yet finding the situation surprisingly soothing.

Maybe the jungle grew on you. 

Yeah. Maybe it’s better for you to stay here. The jungle is noisy yet it doesn’t bother you with sociability and comradeship. It doesn’t ask anything of you and lets you borrow its roots.

Suddenly, staying here doesn’t bother you as much as you thought it would. You brush away numerous thoughts of Taeyong teaching you how to catch food, recognize fruits, but also build a fire.

You thank him inwardly as you pick berries from a bushy shrub. 

When the night comes, you curl against a rock, using leaves to cover yourself. It’s better this way.

Taeyong doesn’t remember when was the last time he saw you. The camp is as lively as ever, with its people cooperating to survive. He comes and goes, bringing meat whenever he can.

But after a third day without any trace of you, he asks Johnny as they’re both trying to wash away stains of mud.  

“I was going to ask you the same thing! She hasn’t been sleeping on the beach at all. I asked Solene and she said she didn’t see her ever since she saw her leave for the jungle three days ago.” Johnny sounds worried and puzzled, “I still don’t get why you left her on her own when everyone has been judging her non-stop.”

Taeyong sighs, diving into the water numerous times. “I was mad,” he utters, splashing his face. “it’s best if I don’t stay around her.”

Johnny sighs, kneeling into the water numerous times. “I know you feel hurt because she was about to leave but literally no one speaks to her anymore. I tried to start a conversation but she sounded rather depressed. She’s been missing for the past three days, Taeyong.”

The latter barely nods, finally realising the situation. 

It’s true that you might be in the middle of nowhere, lost and scared. Maybe you’re hurt, maybe you tried to hurt yourself because you couldn’t face the guilt. 

He hates that you refuse to believe how horrible you boyfriend is, but at the same time he can’t let you be. 

Johnny smirks when he notices Taeyong walking away, fast-paced and determined. 

“Fool.” 

--

You feel fine, surprisingly. The jungle didn’t kill you yet and you’ve got food, along with water. It’s comfortable, even though you scratched your arm and twisted your ankle. It’s peaceful, even though you’re starting to talk to yourself because of loneliness. It’s easy, even though you find it hard to sleep at night.

You’re in this state in which you feel fine and you know you’re not. You’re trying to convince yourself that you’re okay this way. Your life is just okay, you did the right choice.

At the same time, you’re trying to punish yourself. It’s a hidden message from your mind so you would stop feeling guilty. Hiding in the jungle and struggling is what you must face to understand that selfishness is wrong. You think you’re doing this because you find comfort in the situation, but you know better.

You’re not fine with letting yourself rot. 

You’ve got survival skills, though they aren’t as polished as you’d like so you can find just enough food not to faint. 

And you feel it, at the beginning of the fifth day. Your body is barely responding and you find it hard to stand. 

The sounds are amplified, pounding in your ears and heavy with tiredness. Maybe laying down will ease the uncomfortable feeling in your temples.

Right, you’ll just take a nap. 

Surprisingly, you don’t feel yourself drifting off to sleep. Your head almost hits the ground with a loud thud yet your eyes close with eagerness and you almost black out.

You end up on the ground, breathing softly at how much of a joke your life became.

You should have known that nothing good would ever happen to people like you.

It feels like eternity. When you open your eyes, the sky is a wonderful mixture of purple and pink, with fading clouds disappearing behind the darkening sky. You blink, quite sure you fell asleep deep enough in the jungle not to be able to see the sky.

“Drink this.” 

A water bottle finds its way in front of your eyes. 

You try sitting, your hands diving into the sand and making you frown at the sensation. You were definitely not here earlier. 

Your head starts pounding heavily and you only notice how dry your mouth is when you silently grab the bottle, your eyes closing and lips smacking at the oddly familiar sensation.

“how are you feeling?” Your look sideways, tilting your head at Taeyong who is sitting next to you and staring at your face. “You’re dehydrated.” 

You snort, somewhat mad at him but not vigorous enough to physically show it. Taeyong seems to have stopped acting like you were contagious and looks willing to help, even though you don’t reckon asking for it and just wanted to be in peace on that damned island.

“What were you thinking about, staying in the jungle for so long and almost dying there?” Taeyong knows he has no right to ask for justifications and despite his previous decision to stay calm, his voice rises, disturbed and worried. He can’t act like he isn’t fed up with your behaviour.

He is not okay with it. Not at all. 

You raise a brow, not believing the fact that someone who could so easily disappear from your sight can have the nerve to scold you for living your life the way you want it. “What I’m thinking has nothing to do with you. I was doing just fine so why did you have to intervene?”

Taeyong looks offended, but recovers a second later, sighing. “I know. I know I have nothing to do with you.” He gets up and takes a step away from you before stopping. “I can’t seem to let you die, Y/N.”

He knows he should stay quiet and act like his usual cold self but Taeyong has no filter when it comes to things he can’t comprehend. It goes beyond his imagination and crosses every boundary he spent his life setting between himself and the others.

It’s the very first time he can’t let someone be and the mere thought of being dependant to someone is enough to turn his brain havoc. It would all be great if it didn’t happen this way, if he had met you under any other circumstances. 

But no, he is on a deserted island and he can’t get away from you unless he wants to hide in the jungle forever.

You watch, incredulous, as Taeyong paces back and forth, his feet hitting the sand. He can’t act all and mighty when he didn’t seem to care about you all these days. “Just let me be on this damned island, Taeyong. Let me die, escape, drown, starve if I want.”

It annoys Taeyong. His jaw tenses and his pacing stops. He turns around, head tilted and lips parted, looking furious. 

“So why is it that you didn’t let me die, then?” He sighs, exhausted. “Why did you try so hard to keep me alive, why did you clean my wound, why did you spend sleepless nights listening to my heart beat?” His voice gets higher and angrier at every word. “Why did you do all this? You want me to let you die? Why the fuck are you being so selfish, hm?” 

It’s the first time you hear him swear, but the words are not as sharp as their meaning. You know exactly the feeling, if you think about it. You know where he is going and what he means. 

“Why are you expecting me to let you die when you told me I was important to you? And why did you even say that? What did you think would happen? Do you think I’d stop caring because I’m a cold bastard? You think I wouldn’t care that you’d try to run away without even telling me? I’m not okay, I’m not fine, I, too, think you’re important but obviously, I’ve been too stupid to think it wouldn’t change.” Taeyong finishes with a hand over his forehead, rubbing the moist skin. He turns around and faces the beach because he is disturbed by all this.

He never asked for someone to act the way you did, only to leave him afterward. Taeyong knows what it feels like, he knows too much about being left out to experience it again in such a complicated mind-set. 

He is annoyed and pained, he can’t deal with the fact that he started feeling things he didn’t even asked for, only to have it thrown back to his face.

You’re stunned. Taeyong looks troubled and lost and it’s a first for you. Never did he show such weakness and insecurity. You don’t know what to say even. It makes your body tingle with longing, like he finally said things clearly after ignoring you for so long. 

“I-You never told me anything, Taeyong. You always act like you are fine on your own.” It’s true. He disappeared and became cold right when-

When Timothy appeared.

Everything connects all of a sudden. Taeyong left because he felt like he didn’t belong next to you anymore. He let you enjoy your creepy relationship because there was nothing he could have done, even though Timothy and his crew acted like bastards.

He saved you even though you were about to leave him behind. He saved you even though you acted like an ingrate. Taeyong never hesitated, not even once. 

He chuckles and it’s bitter, it makes you raise your head to look at him in the eyes. 

“You didn’t even give me one chance to show it to you.” He swallows, feeling bare and vulnerable. “It’s my fault for being the way I am. I’m sorry for intruding, again.” The conclusion echoes like a dreadful sentence and he finally decides to leave. You both aren’t too far from the camp anyways.

You want to run after him but your body won’t follow. Your brain is a mixture of sorrow and guilt and many other things that are enough to make you freeze right on the spot.

You watch him disappear into the jungle again.

--

It feels even harder now. Going back to the camp makes you feel unworthy of anyone’s time even more than before. You don’t dare cross anyone’s eyes and barely thank the few people brave enough to help you. 

You’re quite sure you became a persona non grata on this beach so you try not to cause any more trouble by sticking around people. 

The last thing you need is people fighting because they tried to help. 

Taeyong’s friends are the only persons who come and put food in front of your luggage when you’re not around. You act like you don’t see them run away and it would be hilarious if it wasn’t happening on a deserted island after a plane crash. 

Taeyong walks by from time to time, walking to the beach and rinsing himself before running back into the jungle. He comes back with many things, from fruits to tiny animals. 

You find yourself thinking about what he said every night. Sleep became a luxury you can’t even afford anymore but you don’t mind. Maybe it’s the price you must pay in order to feel less lonely and scared.

You don’t know what or how to feel anymore. Maybe you should go and talk to Taeyong. If he means what he said, you could probably let him know how important he is-

No, it’s not a good idea. Taeyong doesn’t deserve to suffer because of you. The boy seems to have a lot of scars already; you can’t add to his misery.

It is on your way to find fruits that you decide to get a grip. Letting yourself starve or disappear into the jungle won’t make you feel better about yourself. Being weak is your specialty and this time you have to prove yourself that you can stay on your own. You can and will survive.

You smirk when you find a coconut tree and crack your fingers; it’s going to be you against that bitch. You can do this, it’s not even that tall. You can totally climb and grab one. The forest is so dense anyways. You’ll get one or even two, no problem.

You moan in pain when you fall on the ground. Your elbow hits a thick root with a loud thud and if it wasn’t for your arm still moving afterward, you would have thought that it had snapped in two. 

That was one hell of a blowout for the coconut tree. 

You walk away with nothing to eat and a bruised limb.

You don’t expect to see Johnny as soon as you start going back to the beach. He seems to be busy cutting wood when he notices you limping and rubbing your elbow with a grimace. You’re not even sure which part is hurting now, you’ve been hurting yourself non-stop ever since you landed on this island.

“Everything’s good?” is all he says, his forearm rubbing his sweaty forehead. “Hurt yourself again?” He teases even, smirking.

“I just, tried to grab a coconut and…you know...” You laugh painfully, half embarrassed half annoyed at how easy it was for the nature to defeat you.

Johnny laughs, something he seems to be doing a lot to make everyone else feel better. “Shall I get some ointment? We have a lot of these in our supplies.” He offers, throwing his knife into the destroyed wood and nods toward your arm. “You look like you need some.”

Before you can refuse you find yourself nodding, head moving faster than the electricity your brain cells need to reason you. If it wasn’t for your elbow hurting like hell, you would have walked away, pretending to have ointment in what’s left of your belongings.

Johnny seems to be more caring than usual for he is already walking toward the beach with you. “Just go and lay down, I’ll bring it back for you.” He knows you don’t want to intrude. He has been analysing the situation for longer than you think and getting the help of his friends to bring you food unbeknownst to you. He is in no position to tell you what to do though so he doesn’t meddle.

Also, giving the fact that Taeyong is even withdrawn than usual, he knows something happened. 

He strides toward his friends and stops in front of Doyoung, who is munching on a huge piece of meat. 

“Hey, where did you put the ointment?” Johnny asks before nodding. “And where did you get this?”

Doyoung swallows hard, his cheeks covered in grease. He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand before it points toward a pile of backpacks. “It’s there. Are you okay?” 

Johnny nods, walking away to open one of the bags. “Yeah, it’s for Y/N, she-”

“She what?”

Doyoung leans behind his friend’s body, only to find Taeyong, as exhausted as ever and his brows raised. “What happened to her?”

Johnny shakes his head, hands moving up and down slowly. “Calm down. She’s okay, she fell from a coconut tree-”

“She did what?” Doyoung gets up hurriedly, voice alarmed.

“Jeez, she is fine, don’t worry-” Johnny argues but can’t even finish.

Taeyong took the bag from his hand and is already escaping. 

He doesn’t know what comes to him. Taeyong doesn’t think nor even consider leaving you on your own with any sort of bruise. He knows how reckless you can be and how easy it is for you to hurt yourself so when he heard Johnny, he just grabbed the bag.

He doesn’t even find it in himself to scold his stupid self for doing exactly what he shouldn’t be doing.

And he literally makes you jump when he arrives, fast and worried. You’re lying on the sand, breathing like a fish out of the sea and trying to forget about the constant ringing in your elbow. The pain isn’t strong but it hits hard, making you sigh in annoyance.

You didn’t need this, right now.

Taeyong grabs your arm slowly, his eyes avoiding yours are he scans your limb. You’re silent, blinking at him and wondering if you should speak or not. You quickly understand that he might have heard from Johnny that you got hurt, but the reason why he came is a mystery. You were quite sure that he had had enough of you by now.

“How did it happen?” He asks, kneeling on the sand and grabbing the backpack to open it. “It doesn’t look like it’s broken.”

“I fell off a coconut tree.” Is your only answer. Taeyong had showed you how to grab coconuts and climb safely back then so you’re expecting him to be disappointed.

What did you expect? Obviously, you’re no survivor.

He says nothing though and grabs the ointment, ready to apply the strong-scented cream on your now purple skin. You wince twice, and each time Taeyong stops to sigh heavily. You think he is done with you and he would have every right. 

He shouldn’t have to take care of you again after what you did but something inside you makes you lean closer, your eyes still searching for his. 

Taeyong might think he is cold but he is always so warm.

“Why are you helping me?” You don’t ask the question because you’re puzzled. You tilt your head when his fingers still on your arm.

“I told you already,” is doesn’t seem like he understands the question. It’s like it should be obvious by now, like there’s no questioning when it comes to you.

He kneels back and finally; his eyes find yours.

“You’re important.”