#So they may as well pay me for it
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Litany against running for local government:
- I'm LITERALLY an anarchist
- I'd hate it
- local government in Ireland is demonstrably undemocratic such that the structure that exists would not allow me to actually represent people well even if I wanted to and they wanted me to.
- what if they found my blog
- my mother would be SO DISAPPOINTED
#Its too late for this election cycle anyway#And I don't want to join a political party and I don't have the capability to run independently#And really really I can't stress this enough my mother would be so devastated she'd be so MAD#Last time someone she respected was successfully elected to office she told him:#You're a good man but you have your snout in the trough now. Lets see how long it takes you to become a pig.#Cointerpoints are: all the cool kids are running for local election#& I see all these councils passing BDS and Palestinian solidarity rulings...I want to do that#And people keep telling me I should do it#ultimately... i WOULD make a great mayor#Me Fein#Irish shit#The other counterpoint is that I have the heritable curse of sticking my nose into every bit of activism happening in the area#pplus a chronic committee addiction#So they may as well pay me for it
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もう一回、もう一回
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jjk art#fushiguro megumi#yuji itadori#itafushi#ryoumen sukuna#megumi fushiguro#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#gomen its hina posts self indulgent art hours#this is fr me first and foremost. any1 else liking it is just a bonus in my eyes#i may not be able to animate but i am so happy with these regardless i think they turned out great :') treat fr Me#rolling girl megumi u mean so much 2 me suddenly#fun fact ! actually the first vocaloid song i ever listened to. stumbled across an audio post on this very tumblr dot com#and it forever changed the course of my taste in music#so it alr has a soft spot in my heart fr tht reason but Also the lyrics Also th whole deal w wowaka and Now w megumi.....#rolling girl u have become too powerful#anyway in th context of canon n megumi choosing to live i am choosing to interpret the song the less depressing way#where the boy represents a saving grace rather than being a personification of miku's char's demons convincing her to end it#n the ending being her deciding to stop fighting on her own n instead accept help from those around her#but i did also want to pay homage 2 the interpretation of him representing her inner demons#so i have redraws of both yuuji And sukuna as the boy#choose ur own adventure if u will#clutches heart why does it fit so WELL what cosmic force decided tht miku and jjk should overlap at all i just wanna talk#clearly something has it out fr me
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[content warning: angst, MCD]
🛏️
this is a redraw of my comic from here
#wELP#if anything one of YOU lots rebloged this so i was like#huh#well i'll be damn this was quite the doodle#*starts getting idea*#:D anyways you may send me your therapy bills i will not pay for them#gummmyart#doodle#simon ghost riley#john soap mactavish#soapghost#ghostsoap#angst
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Day 33
#genshin impact#kaveh#genshin kaveh#alhaitham#genshin alhaitham#kavetham#this blog may as well be kavetham a day im so sorry#theyre just on my mind 24/7 explodes#also convinced kaveh doesnt pay rent anymore but had to do it for the sake of the drawing bear with me#day 33
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moon 4
#wc#clangen#howlclan#shumm's art#warrior cats#haresmoke#skippaw#we back#moon 4#this was originally going to be a long ass comic but then i realized that was insane so i stopped hehe#wonder how many kits hare will pop out!#finally landed a very well paying job about a month ago!! that first paycheck improved my mood sm#some may remember me mentioning my main financial goal of landing a car before fall semester because college yknow terrible public transpor#i reevaluted my goals and now i should be on track to reach my min. in like 2 months!! yay#also opened up a sticker shop!!! check out my main if you are interested in some sillies
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Every moment once Vergil becomes whole again that clues Dante in that this is not the same Vergil from the Temi-ni-Gru [aka everything that tells Dante that Vergil has taken V's character development]
"If I beat Nero, then by default I beat you, agreed Dante?" DMC3 Vergil would NEVER. He did not compromise when it came to fighting Dante, he had to be the one to defeat him. Vergil only compromised to shoot Arkham and then went right back to fighting Dante.
"But if we continue to let these roots spread through town, it'll just interfere with our business." Vergil may say it like this but it's clear he wants to close the separation between the human and underworld. I don't think it's a stretch to say that DMC3 Vergil would not have cared and kept fighting, Vergil being willing to stop the Qliphoth and stay in the Underworld isn't a selfish act.
"I'm more than capable of handling this on my own" You can literally see Dante turn to Vergil in shock when he says this, he's giving him a chance to go back to the human world with Nero instead of being stuck in the Underworld with him. Vergil? Giving Dante an olive branch? This is definitely not the same Vergil that Dante fought before.
"We got plenty of time" Vergil gives Dante a genuine happy smile with this line, I don't think we've seen Vergil smile like this since he was a kid (Visions of V) which means Dante hasn't either. They're fighting like they did when they were kids again, keeping score and having banter. This is the happiest they've been in a long time, they get to be brothers again.
It'd probably take a few conversations between fighting (those are happening I know it, Itsuno told me himself/j) for Dante to get the full story of Vergil's character development through V, but those moments key Dante in that Vergil has changed, he no longer has to fight him to protect the world. He just wants to fight him because that's his brother, and he loves him.
#Vergil and Dante regaining the relationship they had as kids is so important to me#Vergil getting a run-down of everything that's happened in Dante's life since DMC3 is very important to me as well#I'd pay money to see the Nero conversation on how Dante met him and how Nero came to be#“he jump kicked me in the face when we met”#dmc dante#dmc vergil#dmc5#dmc#devil may cry
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what is his deal ???
#p4g#persona#art tag#unfortunately i have no new meme material as i havent played in months#still stuck at the end of may i think#but like... i have so little motivation to play#persona writing and mystery solving doesnt really mesh well lmao#idk maybe this guy is nothing but like#i laughed so damn hard when he said that line#like who do you think you are mate a velvet room attendant??#also the fact that the game tells you to solve a mystery so im paying extra attention to everything#only to find bits of writing REALLY stupid#like it's trying too hard to throw you a red herring or sth#i cant just sit back and watch the characters solve the mystery if they're being so blatantly stupid about it#i have half a mind to draw out all the bit i hate#like why tf did this guy have a voiced intro when this is clearly an old game where they probs only did the necessary stuff#it's probs unfair that im reading the meta as well but like... it's just right in my face i cant ignore it!!#anyway my yu has to take matters into his own hands#but can he even trust himself??? WHAT IF IT'S ME#lmao ded anyway idk guys guess i just have to play it out
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i love when im minding my own business and then im hit with the extreme intense love for drawing sonic with the force of a train
#idk man im normal......#i just think about how grateful i am to be able to draw sonic and bring joy not only to myself but to others as well#i owe my life to sonic at this point lol. he pays my bills!!!#and hes given me so many opportunities i never would have had otherwise..man jon gray's seen my art. and he went insane over it#ive gotten to work with so many amazing people and i may get to work with even more if i get the idw job#i just feel so fucking blessed and lucky bc of sonic. idk. i dont take this shit for granted ever#sonic's been there for me since 2003 and hes never left my interest pool. he just got more prominent#and the absolute Joy i feel when i draw sonic stuff is just. unmatched honestly. it hits different#im not sure how to articulate how im feeling but i hope my love and enthusiasm and passion is coming across lol. i love sonic a lot
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day 23 aka THE COUNTDOWN IS OVER - jungsu's past birthday brrrr ppoppos
#xdinary heroes#jungsu#kim jungsu#jun han#junhan#jooyeon#gunil#ode#gaon#han hyeongjun#lee jooyeon#goo gunil#oh seungmin#kwak jiseok#jungsu23#forfreddy#HAPPY BIRTHDAY! may you have a lovely one with many kisses ♥#(ugh i was worried they'd stop this tradition and i would have been so sad about it. but now they HAVE to keep going ♥)#it's time for another concert story. or rather post-concert story.#so i did this photo thingie but when it was over and we walked out....... i completely forgot to look at the guys. i had my head down#(it was all so fast and i was struggling carrying my stuff so i didn't pay attention to .... well paying attention)#but then i walked past jungsu and i could FEEL him looking at me. his look was so intense and i don't mean this in a delulu way#this isn't me claiming we were meant to be. it's about him and he's got this.... presence. this aura. and it's very captivating#and intense (in a good way) and i was SO impressed and i still think about it#and what it was like when the other members met him for the first time (especially shy hyeongjun)#now to my more general impression. i feel like he's very intense overall? like he can probably get really angry and really bitchy#but he also loves intensely. and he loves his bois so much and cares about them so much#and i'm so glad he found a group where it fits so well. where he's one of the oldest and he can take care of the younger ones....#but also there's a leader who isn't an autocrat - who needs support too who doesn't want to carry all the weight on his own#who's willing to share the burden. and jungsu is right there at gunil's side without judging him. he's just very lovely and ♥♥♥ hbd jungsu
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Eyes on me – an interactive whump story. Part 5.
Previous part. Masterpost.
Content: institutionalized slavery, imprisonment, dehumanizing language, it/its for an inhuman whumpee, pet whump, whipping, blood, physical abuse, withholding of food, training, torture, intimate whumper, carewhumper, mentioned pet death, tell me if i missed something
Lord Teelo didn’t strike.
He lowered his arm, eyes never straying from holding the creature’s terrified gaze. The room reeked of blood, now streaming down the lord’s fingers in a warm waterfall. He worked hard on pushing his fury back, taking it under control as many times before. He was in control. He would show it, careful and persistent and levelheaded. He would make sure it remembered the lesson forever. The crop was not meant for punishments, it was too short, too soft – he hadn’t meant to punish it. He was going to be a kind and gracious owner. It had left him no choice!
He opened the door, finding the redheaded guard still in the corridor.
“Get a proper whip,” he ordered. “More chains – gods damned handcuffs, whichever idiot thought of leaving it like this?! And a knife, scissors – or whatever, something to file its atrocious claws.”
The guard stared at him, not in the face – at his arm. Lord Teelo felt it – the consistent drip-drip-drip of his blood. He didn’t feel the ache yet. Nothing but the quiet, cold fury he couldn’t wait to unleash at the world. Haltingly, the guard started, “Should I bring someone to take a look at–”
“I have told you what you should do,” his voice came out as a hiss.
“Yes, my lord,” the guard saluted and hesitated only a moment before running down the corridor.
Lord Teelo closed the door with a loud crash. He paced inside, steps echoing around the room, as the pain slowly started to radiate out. He hated it. Oh how he wished he could slice the thing’s skin just this moment, not waiting for anything and anyone. He picked up the crop once more, stoped before the creature – it cowered to the very corner between the wall and its cage, never letting its eyes away from him. Oh, now it was looking. It dared to look!
“You think yourself smart?” the lord hissed. “Think you did something good for yourself? Oh, no, you’re gonna regret this. You’re gonna regret this so much.”
The pain seeped into his consciousness with every heartbeat, radiant and nauseatingly familiar. He held a handkerchief to the cuts until it filled with deep red. He threw it away – it landed in a wet disgusting lump on the table, by the bowl of wet disgusting meat. Oh how the lord had tried to be a nice host, how he had tried to accommodate this, this–
“Damned, ungrateful, hateful beast!” Lord Teelo roared. The glass of the bowl nearly slipped from his bloodied fingers when he grabbed it, and then shattered to thousands pieces to the side of the creature’s head. Its dinner fell onto the floor, useless. Oh, it wouldn’t get any, it would have to work, to beg for any crumb from then on – it would regret, regret it so much!..
The door slid open soundlessly after a short knock, letting in the heavy footsteps and the clanging of metal. The lord turned on his heels, facing the guard. “And why in the world have you not brought a damned healer!” he hissed. “Can’t you see I’m bleeding out!”
The guard blinked. “But you have–”
“YOU DARE ARGUE WITH ME?!”
He was struggling to breathe, chest heaving with effort. The blood was still warm down his arm, still bright on the broken glass and light wood of his floors. How could the idiot not understand!
There were chains in the guard’s arms and a leathery length of the whip. Lord Teelo snatched it and demanded, “Chain it up!” The guard hesitated, opened his mouth. “NOW!”
He did. The lord watched as he came to the beast, careful with his steps, cautious of it. It squeezed itself deeper into the corner. Lord Teelo could see it shaking. He was delighted to see it shaking. The guard reached out, the first cuff prepared, and Lord Teelo watched from a step away as it lifted its hands up, close to its chest. Its teeth were bared, pupils wide and eyes wider. It tried saying something, but what came out was only a mess of sounds with no meaning.
The guard squeezed its arm even as it tried to avoid it. It whined and fought back, tried getting out of the grasp, tried pushing him away, tried and fought and struggled as he cursed under his nose. Its claws went through the skin of his palm ripping out a sharp hiss. It managed to raise its hind leg as the cuff clicked around its wrist, its claws scratching against the metal in an effort that only delayed the inevitable.
Lord Teelo had little patience left. He stepped forward, connecting his heel with the middle of the creature’s tail. It yelped, flinched backwards – its head connected with the wall, and before it could regroup the second handcuff was in place. After that, restraining its legs was only a matter of time.
“Turn it around,” the lord ordered. Chains clang as it fought in an ever increasing panic. “To the wall, yes… yes, just like that.” The locks rattled, forced closed. The guard let the key fall onto the ground, forcing the creature to kneel. It hid its tail between its legs, whining as its head was pressed into the wall. “Is the chain short enough? Will it be able to move?”
“I don’t think so, my lord,” the guard answered.
Lord Teelo played with the whip, trying it out. “Good. Go fetch the healer– wait. I need – something sharp, something – to secure on its tail. See how it hides it? I need something it can’t hide from.”
The guard looked puzzled. He eased his hold in a test, and the creature threw its whole weight backwards, fighting the chains. They held. Kneeling, with its tail hidden and only back visible, it looked strikingly like a human. “Perhaps clothespins, my lord?” It wasn’t what he had in mind. What he wanted – it wasn’t that. Not this easy, tame solution.
“It would work,” he drew out. He would go to the smith when he had time. He had an idea, oh, that would be a genius idea. “Just this once."
He flexed his left arm and rubbed his right. It hurt as all deaths, but it had stopped bleeding. He failed to crack the whip the first time but managed it the second, inches from the creature’s back. The guard bowed, taking it as a sign to leave.
The creature mumbled and mumbled more, sounds a meaningless mush falling from its tongue. If Lord Teelo was generous, he could see it as an apology; he would not even entertain the possibility of giving in to it, of course.
The second crack was right by its ear. It flinched and curled up further but couldn't hide.
It wailed when the whip connected with its back – so loud, so quickly, taken by surprise. Lord Teelo bared his teeth in a smile and struck again, violent purple already flowering on the gray of its skin, and struck again without waiting – three, four, six, twelve hits in a row, as it flinched and writhed and cried out.
He paused afterwards, and saw as it tensed, first, its whole body shaking with the effort of breathing, hiccupping in what sounded almost like sobs. He waited, watching how it trembled more and more. He let it marinate in the anticipation, the fear coiling and coiling with no release, the stinging of its sore back growing as its patience ran thin.
When it raised its head, just barely, as if to look, the whip snapped through the air again.
It screamed out. He didn’t give it time to recover.
The lord hit it with no pattern, pausing and continuing at his leisure, until his arm grew heavy with pain and the creature nearly silent. Lord Teelo could only hear its labored breathing, air forced out of its body with every strike. Its back bloomed with purple that gave way to red when the skin opened, the new lines covering the rainbow pattern in an unstructured, repulsive mess.
Oh, he nearly pitied it, trembling pathetically in the corner. Then he rubbed his arm and the sharp pain was enough to remember why he didn’t.
He struck for the last time, lazily, with his left, and then a few more for a good measure. When a polite knock announced the guard’s return, he felt pleasantly tired, like after a good work out. He called out for the man to enter.
The guard did and the healer, an old woman the lord knew for most of his life, followed in. She looked the room over with stony, unreadable expression, and Lord Teelo met her gaze with a nice enough smile. “You’ve got your toy,” she stated and that was all the attention the creature got from her.
She made a quick enough work of the wounds: cleaned and bandaged them up after applying that miraculous numbing cream the lord appreciated since early childhood. The creature would appreciate it even more, he thought, glancing at the pathetic thing. It had shifted at some point, stretching its legs just a bit but keeping its head hidden. Its body shook violently, trembling so much it in itself looked tiring.
“Should I look it over?” the healer suggested, all business.
The lord huffed, “What would the point of a punishment be then?”
The woman looked him over with that annoying, unreadable gaze. “Call me whenever you change your mind,” she bowed and left when he dismissed her.
Lord Teelo tried the clothespins with interest, forcing the spring to coil and then letting it go softly around his finger, just a tad, until it started hurting. “Good enough,” he concluded finally and got up.
The creature flinched when his boots stopped by its form but didn’t try anything. “Poor thing,” he drew out and crouched, ran his fingers along its back lightly, brushing fingertips over the painful ridges of future bruises. Its breaths hitched, but it didn’t make a sound. “And all you needed was to not act like a brainless brat to avoid all this. You have no one but yourself to blame, silly thing,” he told it. It didn’t answer, shivering under his touch but not attempting anything stupid.
“But maybe you can learn,” he hummed and moved his hand down to where its tail started. It tensed even further, if it was possible at all. “Let’s just make sure the lesson sticks, huh?” It curled up even further as he tagged on its tail, releasing from under the creature’s body. He flickered it back and forth and rubbed between his fingers and was satisfied when it sobbed and shuddered but remained motionless otherwise.
“Like this, yes,” he muttered. With the softest touch of his second hand, he stoked its head. “But look at me now. Eyes on me,” It didn’t understand. He caught a fistful of its fur and tagged. “Eyes on me.”
Too drained to resist, it lifted its head as he guided it. “Eyes on me,” he demanded again, and it either guessed or truly learned – its gaze settled on him, focusing to the best of its ability – and, oh, what a pathetic mess it looked, eyes bloodshot and wet in ways he’d thought only a human's could be, dark lines from where it pressed into the floorboards marking its cheeks. There was something red around its mouth – did it bite itself, the poor thing?
Lord Teelo clicked his tongue, smiled softly and released its fur. It settled back instantly, curling up again. Its tail remained in his hands.
He picked up the first pin.
It must have assumed at first that he was just playing like he had been, – at least, it didn’t seem to tense up too much, nor expect the sharp pain when he released the spring around its tail. It shuddered, head whipping up, staring at him once again. He smiled. Picked up the second clothespin.
It tried to get its tail free – oh, it tried as much as it could without hurting him, but he tightened the grasp and played with the pins as it couldn’t help a new whimper, and hushed it and urged it to sit still. “That’s for you to remember the lesson better,” he told it pleasantly. It must have cried, body shaking again, and tried to kick just once, the movement stopped halfway through by a short chain.
Lord Teelo wondered how many pins would be good for it – should he go with the whole set the guard had brought? He settled on five, at the end, a nice even number not even halfway through what he had. He was feeling rather merciful and forgiving, and it sounded just so pathetic.
He called the guard in to urge it into the cage when it was done. It didn’t even try fighting, following the man's tagging and pushing until it was inside, drawing its limbs close and curling up to fully fit. Nearly immediately, its fingers itched towards the pins, human-like thumbs ready to work on the problem. Lord Teelo snapped his fingers to get its attention.
“No,” he said, words dripping with finality. He reached through the bars and tagged its tail outside. “The clothespins stay here for the night,” he told it. It probably didn’t understand – there was so little thought in its eyes. He let go of it hoped for its sake it understood what he meant. He didn’t want to have to punish it so soon for their lack of common language.
When he went to sleep, the shaky breaths and the rare clanging when it tried to settle more comfortable sounded like a lullaby to his ears.
In the morning, his arm stung mercilessly and unendingly, and no melodies of birds and gentle sunrays could make his mood better. He turned lazily, letting his eyes fall onto the cage. The creature was curled inside of it, eyes shut tight and ears flickering restlessly. Its tail fluttered too, freed at some point from the pins, one of its hands curling around it protectively.
Lord Teelo felt stuck between endearment and irritation. He moved and the cuts on his arm ached, and irritation won.
“Hey… you,” he called and realized he hadn’t come up with a name. He should think about it as some point, he decided grimly, and banished the thought of the last pet he’d named, back in childhood. That was a just a cat, a stupid spoilt creature with too much attitude. The lord remembered the way it looked, painted red and unmoving, after crossing one too many lines.
The creature didn’t move at his call, either. He picked up an extinguished candle from his bedside table and threw it towards the cage. “Hey!”
There was no reaction. With an undignified groan, he forced himself on his feet and towards the cage. He rattled the key across the bars, the way that always seemed to get the creature’s attention.
It didn’t react. It was outright ignoring him!
Had it learned nothing?!
He reached through the bars and tagged on its tail, finally getting some response in return – it flinched weakly and grimaced. Slowly, its eyes fluttered open, but didn’t settle on the lord. They looked as if through him, unfocused and dizzy, and a pang of worry cut through the just rage when they closed back and its chest heaved, struggling for breath.
Something was wrong.
He reached through the bars and towards its forehead, forgetting for a second it wasn’t a human. The skin under his fingers was blasting hot and sickly wet. It moved closer to his fingers, all but nuzzling against him.
Something was terribly, terribly wrong.
Updates every 7-10 days (depending on how much time I have and how obvious the poll result is) (unless something goes wrong and it takes me too weeks to get myself to write something. I'm so very sorry about the delay!)
@isikedmyself878, @fraugustends, @otterfrost, @fuchstastisch, @3-2-whump,
@the-lone-youth, @will-o-the-wips, @catnykit, @granny-aaravos, @mj-or-say10
Tell me to be tagged in the new parts!
#okay that was rather long. I hope it's fun and worth the read!#“he was planning to be kind” yeah no keep telling yourself that#hes kinda pathetic in a way i find really entertaining to write#hes just having a full on tantrum over getting his arm scratched. the creature's paying for this tho!#I would like to talk to you about consequences btw! the creature is resistant but not immortal. it takes a lot to kill it but you just migh#i think its more fun if you know that you can push it far enough for it to outright die. so ill have options leading to this possibility :>#see how much misery it can take before its body gives out :>#...but also: please dont kill it im having fun#we need a name for it btw. please tell me what you think it should be called. well get to a naming poll eventually but ill need ideas first#also sorry for the delay! the writing wasnt writing. i would swear its an exception but no. its normal for me. it will happen again. sorry!#btw if some of you thinks (and finds the idea interesting) that the lords tantrum kinda sounds out of proportion and like the reason for it#goes deeper than a few scratches. yeah. yeah it does. i may have given him some trauma. and i might explore it#if you think its a fun thing to explore. tell me if you do!#whump#whump writing#writing#interactive whump#interactive writing#choose your own adventure#pet whump#slavery whump#nonhuman whumpee#intimate whumper#carewhumper
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TimBuzz has a very specific dynamic—
[Original Under Cut]
Lmao.
#buzz cohen fanart#buzz cohen art#buzz cohen#tim drake fanart#tim drake art#tim drake#TimBuzz fanart#TimBuzz art#TimBuzz#ron’s art tag#shut in the fuck up ron#hear me out—#HAHAHAHAHHAAHHA-/#Buzz: This guy pays for everything I want and need. It’s great.#His Football Team jokingly: Oh so you have a sugar daddy.#Buzz: …Yeah…? Well…more like a sugar dweeb. But like to-may-to to-mah-to.#Team: …???#His team thinks it’s some older guy or some shit until this twinky looking dweeb walks in and hands off his Black credit card#to Buzz before fucking off to wherever and Buzz is like “Who wants to hit the pub?”#And they’re all just starring at him in abject *horror* because—#“IS THAT FUCKING TIM DRAKE?! AS IN ONE OF BRUCE WAYNE’S KIDS TIM DRAKE?!#SHAREHOLDER OF WAYNE ENTERPRISES TIM DRAKE?! T H E G U Y T H A T G O T S H O T O N L I V E T E L E V I S I O N??”#And Buzz is just— “Yep!”#Buzz lovingly has Tim’s name as “Direct Deposit” on his phone.
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If you like my content and want to support me I have now a Ko-fi, thank you in advance of you help 🥺💖
#i wanted to make another post more clean ckbsjdj#more official#while I find a job it will help me a lot pay for Sowon’s food and litter my medication and my phone#also Puppy’s pills if my mom dosen’t have enough#with my dad changing job she will have to pay more for bus pass and it may put her in trouble#i need to go to the place where they can help you find a job cause I’m lost on where to go and what’s good for me….#I’m in trouble with money but I still live well thanks to my parents so you don’t have to but it would help a lot for now#and even if I do get a job the money I receive will go into puppy’s vet bills 💚#alex.txt#ok to reblog please do
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4 on the angst list with Araleyn please I need them to suffer
4 : "but it's my fault, right?" (prompt list here)
#<blinks> very gently implied angst i suppose. usually everyone makes anne suffer so for a change#here's catherine struggling with the idea that if she hadn't been so stubborn about divorce-#maybe it would have been more okay for henry to divorce anne instead of. yknow. chopping her head off.#gently implied angst with the. well. i hurt this person i care about. unintentionally. but still. hence also the historical counterparts bg#... i feel like this isn't suffering (italicised for emphasis) but unfortunately? i am in a more melancholy mood#and also coming to conclusion that whump isnt really my taste.. so quite literally you'd have to pay me to draw it .. dfdsghjkl comms open#anyways yeah i think the most you'll get from my own stuff is <reference to beheading> <mentioned death> <abstract reds that might be blood#six the musical#six the musical fanart#anne boleyn#catherine of aragon#pssst drew anne extra pretty bc coa pov. if you get what i mean.#oh that got off tangent. but also tldr; requests mean free art!! (also idm if you ask for specific things. like your own aus. just to put#that out there)#but also requests: 1. up to my creative freedom and discretion so you probs won't get exactly what you want + 2. no time limit so#can take literal years to reply to.#so ig ? if you have specific things in mind. that you want me to draw. commissions would be better for you if you'll pay!#but if you don't have the money i'm also. lowkey willing to draw for free.. stick it in the inbox .. there's just no guarantee you'll get it#within the next year.. or at all! but you may as well try your luck o.O#(this plan is terrible for business but because for a very long time i was unable to buy anything online. i sympathise greatly ig)
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I love how my parents attended a fucking "how to prevent lgbt" Seminar and said thank god they raised me and my siblings normal
Ma'am your daughter is ill over silly little gay men
im so sorry but im keeling over 'how to prevent lgbt'. like i cant articulate why thats so funny its so absurd and funny
#snap chats#that reminds me of the time i saw a print-out on my moms printer about working with lgbt+ patients (shes an occupational therapist)#and then she hate me. like girl your ass was not paying attention !!!!!#back to the absurdity of 'how to prevent legbt' like. AGAIN ITS SO ABSURD HELP#might as well be giving instructions on how to make your kids hate you#either that or how to kill them cause you may as well be doing that if you detest their queerness that much#you cant 'prevent lgbt' what: maybe you can scare someone back into the closet but theres still a person- your KID in the fuckin closet#anyways. nothing can prevent ones daughter for obsessing over silly gay men !!!! a fact of life really#if i were a parent id be very concerned if my daughter didnt latch onto at lesat ONE pathetic gay man throughout her teens#maybe she a late bloomer ... maybe she'll enter her fujo era after college ... one can only hope ...
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I keep trying to write an update and then being embarrassed about it and feeling like I’m trauma dumping on people by updating and I just..I know it’s on me to manage my crap, I know. I am trying (not very well but I’m trying) and it’s just…I don’t know. I don’t even know.
#please know i have thought about hospital but hospital would#genuinely make it worse (like I cannot even tell you how much worse)#i think I’m legitimately just…having a trauma reaction on top#of a jewish trauma spike#and dentists and having to move (I may have cleaned till I shook today also my arm#does not look great#i feel like i don’t actually verbally have the words#(i have tried not engaging i have tried engaging they both feel awful)#(hashem i don’t know would you even embrace me would you…)#(it’s not a meds thing (I take meds for mdd and I know what that looks like and this isn’t it)#(it’s hard to explain the difference between CPTSD and like a panic attack or a depression)#(except that I feel like I’m so so tainted and not in my body or if I’m in my body I’m in my body somewhere else#abuse cw#i didn’t ask for this cptsd and no tshirt was offered#this will disappear probably#UGH#(i am seeing my therapist tomorrow i just..i know i need to reach out to)#(to like my current landlords and ask if I could just pay for a cleaning service to come in)#(i know i need to be like ‘unfortunately my CPTSD is Fucking Terrible Right Now and I need)#(just a bit of grace apologies)#(i do not want my parents to know i do not want that)#(aside from the fact that I am already a burden to them anyway)#a stupid flop of a person i am crying thinking about how i had plans for kids and a wife and travel and…I’m nothing#(everyone else is something I’m not I don’t deserve grace lbr)#it keeps running through my head how many people i thought loved me want me dead#and it’s like I can fake it so well#(i don’t know I may be like sending words to people)#to run through the steps of not being alone#i’m truly sorry i am always not taking accountability and playing the victim and clinging to people#to get reassurance i don’t deserve that its a good person it isn’t it isn’t a person
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*uninstalls Honkai Impact to free up space from phone*
Fricking Hoyo weeks later: we'll be having a HI3RD x HSR collab, we're getting Sparkle as a new unit in the game with awesome animations and a new skin just for her, and we're giving away Herrscher of Human Ego (Elysia) for free ! Enjoy !
#abbey plays honkai impact#well. no longer#my reaction to that information... °Д°#I finally made up my mind like a month ago to delete it and this is how they pay me#I'm going through some FOMO not gonna lie#but I... have to let it pass...#Genshin HSR and Zenless are already +70GB#like that's insane#I just can't download any more games#not even Reverse 1999#I'm playing that one on my laptop#I may be able to play this one on my laptop as well...? I'm not sure though#this laptop fucking sucks#I'll.... think about it........#I shouldn't...... though...........#so many...... gachas..............
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