#So that turned into a rant
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Little but Fierce III
I love Meryl so much. Imma talk about all the ways she's terrible.
First watching the show, I had her clocked pretty much from the moment she opened her mouth and the moment she first appeared on the screen.
Oh Lord. This child is insufferable.
She's twenty-three, just out of college, from a sheltered background, and determined to solve all the world's problems, but she'd have a much easier time of it if she weren't such a scold. She's prissy. She's judgemental. Because nothing in the world lives up to her standards, she's going to shout at it until it does. It's endearing now because she's so little and cute, but she will encounter someone unwilling to put up with it sooner or later, and she had better hope she survives that encounter to learn from it.
Reminder that her first appearance in the manga is striding onto the panel like a queen and then whipping out a megaphone to announce she's from the insurance society, like any of the people she's talking to have any reason to care. She's, uh. She's a real woman of conviction.
What makes this Meryl seem so young is that she still has a lot of faith in the rules, and that the way things should be is indeed the way they are. Why wouldn't she? Her family is wealthy, she just got out of school and this is her dream job. Her whole life so far has kept her cushioned from pain and consequences, as well what exists on the edge of society - violence, poverty, corruption - as well as the edges of her own reality - the truth about the Plants, the existential terror of a being like Knives, who so virulently hates her species and has the power to crush them at will, for any reason, at any time. And of a being like Vash, whose power is even greater, but whose appearance is so purposefully soft.
That dude she's yelling in the face of could vaporise the planet they're standing on, if he felt like it. He would never, but that doesn't change having that capacity, or that there are individuals who will do anything to obtain control of his power.
What makes Meryl such a fantastic character despite these flaws is that upon encountering proof of her ignorance, she doesn't double down. She's surprised, and often scared, but primarily she's saddened, or even outraged. Why is the world this way? What can she do about it? What action can she take?
That's the perfect trait for a journalist, and I also think the reason that Vash likes her - and Roberto, too. It's why both of them are determined to protect her, and Roberto comes to adopt (or perhaps reclaim) a little righteousness by her example.
She doesn't belong on No Man's Land, but then none of them do. No one wanted to be here. Nevertheless they are here.
What can they do together to make it a kinder world?
Also, one more thing.
There's an argument for how hard it is write female characters that the audience won't instantly loathe. It's called the Galbrush Problem, after a theoretical genderbend of Guybrush Threepwood from the Monkey Island series. They're point-and-click adventure games, and they're very silly - Guybrush's entire backstory, as far as we learn, is that he washed up on a beach in the Caribbean as a teenager with the burning ambition to be a pirate and no practical skills in the field whatsoever.
Sample dialogue:
Elaine: Ugh, let's face it, LeChuck! You're an evil, foul-smelling, vile, codependent villain, and that's just not what I'm looking for in a romantic relationship right now! LeChuck: Darn yer riddles, ye saucy female! What do ye mean?!
They're engaged in a high stakes sea battle at the time. Elaine is defending the port she governs from LeChuck's skeleton pirate crew. (Hauntingly realistic reaction to a woman's unambiguous rejection from LeChuck, though.)
Anyway the Galbrush Problem suggests that a Galbrush version of these games would come across as offensive, because Guybrush is a comedic protagonist. He's subjected to slapstick, mocked, rendered the butt of jokes. He says and does absolutely ridiculous things. Who'd enjoy a woman being a victim of such humiliation?
I hate the Galbrush Problem as an argument.
Because Guybrush might be hard to take seriously, but he's still loveable - he's quick-witted, charming, and his many failures combined with his unwillingness to let them ever get him down for long actually make him a little inspiring. And we don't just watch him, we embody him - we relate to him. His absurd challenges are ours to overcome and his cracking wise in the face of craziness is something we sort of wish we could do. We'll all look a bit ridiculous at least some of the time. That's not something gender specific.
It's not a problem to write a woman being goofy. Not unless you present that as her only trait, or her as the only woman, or failure as the only outcome of her actions. Meryl completely explodes the Galbrush problem by being hilarious - she and Vash get to play comedic partners pretty frequently early on and it's always great, and her stupid sibling fights with Wolfwood are splendid. It doesn't make her offensive. She's fun! We need levity! That tomas is hauling around a bunch of fricking coffins!
The wonder of Trigun as a story is that everyone in it is so gloriously, painfully human, even the ones who pretend not to be. Is there really something offensive about affording women that courtesy too? Really?
Maybe I get too pissy about it, I don't know, but I've been a fandom cryptid for some twenty years, and was once determined to enter a profession where there was straight up a conspiracy to prevent women being protagonists, or when they are protagonists, having partners or lovers, because it meant they were less appealing and available.
Lookit this silly marshmallow. What about her is unappealing? What about her is offensive? I mean, apart from the fact that at this rate she's going to give that poor man a heart attack.
Part I
Part II
Part IV
Part V
Part VI
Part VII
Part VIII
Part IX
#trigun stampede#trigun meta#tristampparty#meta: little but fierce#small calibre reporter#meryl stryfe#so that turned into a rant#*ahem*#madam do cease bothering the nice nuclear bomb#or don't actually i think he's into it
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wolverine sevika you are so special to me ….
#the wave of butch and sevika#this is so peak#sevika x reader#sevika#sevika arcane#arcane sevika#arcane#i’m blocked by sevika x reader accounts omg im kms#arcane x reader#wolverine sevika#butch#butch wolverine#cowgyaru#cowgyaru rants#follow me#hit tweet#turns out i credited the wrong person so sorry for that!#cr : ribbedtank
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In the past, people in the Animal Crossing community would make fun of Tom Nook as a sleazy landlord. Since then, he's really rehabilitated his image as this 'heart of gold' businessman (he's the one who puts bells and furniture in trees for you to find! he adopted orphans! he donates to charity!), but New Horizons genuinely paints the most devious version of him.
He's successfully privatized settler colonialism: you pay HIM to move to a "deserted island" (which apparently the oceans in the AC world are just full of) and start a colony that he is directly invested in. At best he's running a weird vacation package scam (you arrive on the island with no money and in debt for "using his services"). At worst, he's using you to set up company towns. For god's sake, he literally has his own fake currency that he forces you to use to pay off your debt. But don't worry, he's repackaged it in a way that definitely doesn't sound like an MLM scam: the Nook Mileage Program!
You're no longer just his tenant or his temporary part-timer, you're his business lackey. The entire tutorial section of the game has you spending actual weeks running around completing tasks and doing hard labor to set up his colony. You're even tasked with preparing his properties and finding buyers for them. No, you aren't a tenant anymore. You work for the landlord. You are directly responsible for finding tenants for him. And he doesn't even fucking pay you. Not for setting up town hall and museum, or his nephew's shop –– which is the ONLY store on the entire island that sells necessities –– or bringing KK Slider to town, or helping populate his town. Not a single cent. No, actually, you have to pay HIM to BUY infrastructure like bridges and stairs and park benches. And all the while, he's telling you're the "resident representative"; you get to call the shots! That the reward is the community's progress. That what you're doing is in everyone's best interest (but most importantly, his).
Since NH's release, people have done a lot of legwork to say that Tom Nook isn't a capitalist while the game shows him at his very worst. He owns the only general store in town. You're forced to use a phone that he modified and branded as his own. Buy Nook-branded furniture and merchandise at the self-serve kiosk in the town hall, a governmental building! There's no conflict of interest here!
But hey, if you're tired of being the landlord/business mogul's goon, you can also find work as a deluxe resort home designer for a company that also pays you in their special company currency that can only be used to buy their products instead of a real salary! Because that's what the Animal Crossing franchise needs! More vacation homes!!!
#this is a really long winded way to say i really really really really hate new horizon's storyline and player role#i really hate that not only your house but the entire TOWN. the whole COMMUNITY you're a part of is owed to tom nook's business#i really hate the “vacation getaway package” angle because it shows just how commercialized the entire premise of nh is#and how lost the game is in its original core concept#animal crossing is about the experience of moving to a new town and becoming a part of that community#just to compare: all past ac games have a similar opening#you're on a bus or train or taxi to someplace new. a stranger strikes up a conversation and you get to know them before arriving#new horizons opens with you at customer service desk filling out an client application before a flight.#in prev games working for nook in the tutorial is meant to be demeaning. you want it to be over with so you can actually start living life#but in new horizons working for tom nook IS your life. and it's so rewarding! don't you feel rewarded?#you aren't a person. you aren't a new neighbor. you're tom nook's client. and then his unpaid employee. and the game insists it's fun to be#that's how void the game is#because it's bad enough that a rpg life sim got turned into a sandbox game where you have to build the town yourself#but the only reason why you're building it is because the landlord who you're in debt to TOLD you to build it.#everything is a rewards program! everything is a tour service! be sure to do your daily tasks to earn nook bucks to spend on nook merch!#that really sucks imo.#i mean. the entire game is based around the vacationing industry. of course it all feels fake and temporary. it's only a vacation.#long post#rant#not art#god the fact that your starter villagers can't even decide where to live you have to decide for them#i've never played a game that does the opposite of handholding#where instead it's the PLAYER who has to handhold the npcs through everything. and newsflash!! it's really exhausting and boring
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Casanova sketches!
#casanova#giacomo casanova#david tennant#my art#bbc casanova 2005#this series is SO FUN and so sad it's great#alright!! all 3 winners of last poll drawn!! I have to make a new poll#drawing him is a great form of stress relief for me rn and I have a lot of it lately#a client company ghosting without paying me after I've done and turned in everything after a million revisions and over a month of work#another company rushing me into and making me spend 400€ on travelling only to tell me they made a mistake and I could have stayed#🙃 please all I ask for is a little respect for my time and finances#anyway sorry for the rant I'm normal again#hope you enjoy these slutty Davids#tw blood
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beautiful games i've played ➤ final fantasy x
"Die and be free of pain, or live and fight your sorrow! Now is the time to shape your stories! Your fate is in your hands!"
#ffx#gamingedit#finalfantasyedit#gamingdaily#all time comfort nostalgia feels game#i love this game so much guys#final fantasy x#final fantasy#mine#honestly it was hard to only gif these bits#i've got like 25 in the folder for this set#but can i just rant about the last warm gif with tidus looking at yuna#then turning to look ahead at zanarkand#like the decision is made#he's got to return there#he's got to leave her#i weep
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LOA Shiptober Day 4: How They Met
October content month was ambitious..
This one took me. Shockingly long. Whoops! I’ll probably end up jumping around the prompt list and it might extend into November 😋
I’ll try to do day 31 on the actual date of Halloween though 🫡
#the good or bad thing depending on who you ask about my ship art is that there are many more ranting tags#once again bringing my “he can’t blush but what if he did’’ agenda#Ngl the first panel reminds me of a children’s book it’s kind of fire#I feel like frost doesn’t like being touched by most people#but then he meets gricko professional animal friend and he’s so confused bc wtf why doesn’t he hate this#so that’s the drawing#sighs fondly confused grimmorning#except frost is the only one that’s confused#Im not joking when I say this one took me a long time I started it the day before the prompt and finished it like a week later#unintentional but frost is doing the Jim halpert thing#he wasn’t supposed to be but it turned out that way#frost don’t Jim the fourth wall.. community reference yeah..#I keep forgetting gricko tail agenda#also I love all the requests I’ve been getting once shiptober is over those will be popping up#anyways that’s enough out of me#but seriously some of those requests are so good they’re actually inspiring me to finish these pieces#legends of avantris#once upon a witchlight#morning frost#gricko grimgrin#grimmorning#gricko x frost#OH last thing possible stardust rhapsody art on the way I have to share my dandy art with the world
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Sometimes I want to bring Morrigan but then I remember I play as a face-tanking rogue and I bring Wynne. Warden Cousland, Morrigan, Wynne / Dragon Age Origins (c) Bioware
#dragon age#dragon age fan art#comic#morrigan#warden cousland#healer#bioware#dao#dragon age origins#hero of ferelden#cousland#wynne#I'm back. I guess.#I did not notice at first but apparently I took a break from tumblr. I've already had several breakdowns over the dashboard.#(turns out I was on the 'for you' tab rather than the 'following' tab. the theme had changed as well. absolutely insufferable.)#I've felt really unconnected for a while but it actually feels better now? as if my tumblr mutuals was the missing link.#very healthy and hot of me ngl#so. I had a two week holiday this year and they were instantly slurped up. it went so fast!#there was this big football thing the week before my holiday - basically teams of teens come from all around the world to play etc.#I heard a girl tell her teammates that 'I'd love to travel on this bus every morning; happy people all around you; just add some music...'#she was also very excited when the bridge opened. the 'happy people' around her sighed bitterly and leaned back for a ten minute wait.#it is thankfully over now. the bus home is no longer stuffed full of football teams. but it's a fun experience for the players etc etc etc#well. in other thrilling news I went to spy on our sister shops during my time off. to see what they do differently. maybe steal some ideas#one store was like an instagram post with fancy teacups and stylish outfits. who knew a second-hand store could be so boring.#the other was like a man-cave with furniture and a passively-aggressive note by the toys stating that 'if u break it u pay. idiot. tnx<3'.#the man-cave was my favourite :)#rant over now! take care and bye etc!
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jealous! viktor x reader (headcanons + tiny scenarios)
summary: viktor sees you talking with a friend and get jealous.
content warning: idk if it counts as a cw but jealousy?? also, i made with s1 viktor in mind!
author notes: heyyy, so sorry this one is little, im still trying to find motivation after the end of the series but i think it turned out cute! thank u for the request and hope u like it!! :)
» it was a common sight to see you walking up and down piltover’s academy, working or just chilling on lunch breaks, but every time viktor would approach you, you were already with someone. sometimes an unknown person, other times with a friend, laughing and joking, touching them in such a sweet way, side by side in the aisles.
» he looked at you both, blood boiling and shaky hands. if you looked at him, it was possible to see his lips forming a thin line, brows furrowing, his left eye almost twitching. oh, he was jealous.
» he felt angry at himself to feel like this, he didn't mean to be jealous at all, but he wanted to steal you away, just for a second, and be the one by your side, be the one you smiled to, the one you’ve been touching so sweetly.
» he wanted to reach for you, to interrupt your silly conversation about whatever you two have been talking about, he wanted to share his new discoveries with you, he wanted to be in their place so bad.
» but he couldn't complain, not when you waved a goodbye at your friend, and turned your body, recognizing viktor, eyes lighting up immediately, smiling from ear to ear.
“viktor!”, you shouted, voice echoing in the aisle while you walked to him, “i’ve been looking for you all day. you wouldn't believe what happened!”
he looked at you, expression softening, eyes shining, mimicking yours, his thin lips now turning into a little smile, “yeah? tell me."
» soon all the jealousy melted away, now, he is the one walking by your side.
#—swe writes#league of legends x reader#lol x reader#viktor x reader#arcane x reader#i should thank my friend this time bcs they helped me on this one#i didn't like how it turned out and was erasing and rewriting and easing and#but if my friend says its good then its good#thank u friend#so sorry if some of you guys read my tags and all my post have the same thing#< “thank u friend” and stuff like this. but they really help me out all the time#this is why i always thank them#they aint even part of the fandom! i just rant about arcane to them all the time#love my friend dearly <3#anyways!! sorry if this one is tiny. my motivation is almost zero these days#school stuff has been hard but its fine! at least i can write sometimes :)
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My new ship just launched and one of them doesn't even have a fucking name
For real tho, this un-named Wan Jian Disciple is such a snarky bitch. I love him.
Kudos to @grubus for making such enjoyable OCs
#svsss#scumbag self saving system#ming fan#syonr#shen yuan of no relation#fanfic art#my art#i will not apologize for art#i will go down with this ship#not me finding out that pen pressure is a thing I should have made sure was turned on until just now#rant time#I think the reason why this little oc speaks to me is because he is so quick witted snarky and fucking fearless!#Think about it#This little shit is about to go into SQQ's house#WITH A FUCKING PANGOLIN#The absolute gall of this disciple#I wanna see him verbally fight ZD with MF watching in both fear and awe#the cat fight would be legendary
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rockin’ out!!
#reposting old spring fest art lmao#i don’t really like how this turned out but i spent too much time on it haha#anyways#i bought a copy of a nintendo power magazine from 1998#it is so cool i love it#they had a bunch of pages on banjo-kazooie#a lot more too but i could rant for a while haha#i won’t though#i’ve got work to get to!#that’s why todays a repost#anyways have a great day :)#art#fanart#froggtogs#splatoon#off the hook#off the hook marina#off the hook pearl#oth marina#oth pearl#pearl oth#marina off the hook#pearl houzuki#marina#pearl#off the hook fanart#oth fanart#splatoon fanart#splatoon 3#pearlina
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New idea: Shinsou is supposed to be babysitting Eri but he has to do something so he leaves Denki in charge for a little bit, he comes back expecting the house to be burnt down but instead he finds Eri begging Kaminari to let her re-dirty up her room so they can clean it together again
#kaminari is good with kids i just know it#got this idea while listening to the Mary Poppins classic Spoonful of Sugar#he turns it into a game and she forgets its a chore#at one point he turns it into a race#“if you can clean your side of the room faster than i can clean my side ill get you icecream!”#she excitedly starts cleaning the room and once shes super focused he stops cleaning his side#he was gonna give her ice cream anyway#when she finishes her side he goes “great job! now help me finish my side and we can get some icecream!” and they both work on that side#hes a tricky guy#he may not do great in school but hes still VERY clever#then when theyre done he goes “Okay! Now we can take an ice cream break and clean the closet after!” and she is having so much damn fun that#she begs to finish the closet FIRST#i love them#i wanna see her love him and him being a surprisingly good babysitterrr#denki kaminari#eri mha#eri my hero academia#hitoshi shinsou#mha#bnha#dadzawa#shinsou is amazed#and when Eri rants about it to mic and aizawa later they are also amazed#erasermic#shinkami
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Hi, Howdy! Hey! I really love your novel!! I got a little confused by the 4 day, may maybe you help me please? who is it? why we got the bad end staying the night in Ren’s apartment and he disappear of the home screen? I can’t understand “unset memory” game, sorry if I wrote smth wrong or smth sounds rude, I swear that I didn’t mean it if happened, I’m really a fan of the novel, I’ve been playing the game since day 1 or 2 I guess, probably day 1, english isn’t my first language, but I tried lol
⌞♥⌝ I hope you don't mind me answering these as bullet points!! ^^
"It" will be revealed later in the game! So I won't reveal too much right now.
You can only get the Dead End in Day 4 by staying at Ren's apartment — the rest of your choices before that don't matter. I'd also pay closer attention to the black smoke and Ren's reaction towards it!
Ren disappears from the home screen because he promised to help the player out (and stop them from getting the Dead End again). Try replaying the game again from the beginning for a surprise!
"Unsent Memories" was another visual novel (initially being written by @10chimes / @unsentmemory, though the project has since been dropped and handed back to me /pos) and is set in the same universe as 14 Days With You. Its storyline and characters are completely separate from 14DWY, so you don't have to worry about them while playing 14DWY.
#I don't think a lot of people know this but River was originally my OC lmao#Obviously BEFORE Jesse picked him up and turned him into an entirely different character /pos#We originally planned for Riv and Ren to have a Billy and Stu dynamic; except River would pretend to be a himbo—#— The same way Ren would pretend to be some Normal Empathetic Guy™️ kjgskg#River was also going to be a lovesick serial killer who incapacitated Bunny so that they'd stay with & depend on him forever#Also because Jesse and I wanted to have a ''same production factory; different yandere'' kind of vibe with Riv and Ren (and their dynamic)#Like... Ren puts Angel above himself and craves THEIR satisfaction whereas River cares about himself and prioritises HIS own satisfaction#Ren would hit his best friend (River) with a car if it meant keeping Angel happy & by his side forever#River would hit Bunny with a car if it meant keeping them by his side forever (thus making him happy)#But!! After everything that's happened in the yandere community; Jesse (understandably) wanted to get away from that kind of environment#So he's since dropped Unsent Memories and hasn't really got any plans to work on it again or return to da yan vn circle#I'm also continuing to write 14DWY the way it was originally planned (with 2017!River only getting a brief cameo to serve up some lore </3)#—But I'm lowkey holding out just in case Jesse ever considers returning hehe :3 I like their version of River and I wanna do him justice#Until then though?? I'll yearnfully clutch my locket and wait for my lover to return from war.... (she has a literal 9-5 job now) /hj /p#GKJSDG I scrolled up and??? NOT ME RANTING IN THE TAGS AGAIN?????????? WHY DO I UNINTENTIONALLY YAP SO MUCH#I will 🤫🤐 now#💌 — answered.#💖 — 14 days with queue.#🖤 — shut up sai.#to be tagged later#weird0nerd
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yea
#i had posted this everywhere and it occurred to me that i hadnt on tumblr. which seems like a crime#keith kogane#vld keith#vld lance#vld fanart#lance mcclain#voltron#klance#can i rant for a bit#grabs the microphone Id like to thank this huge step on my voltron healing journey to my mom#who said 'oh its that show that made you cry in frustration! the kitties!'#and i said 'yes mother i was 15'#i dont think ive ever felt so. like. bullied? i dont wanna say ridiculed but#by a shows' producer#not since fucking BBC SHERLOCK#and i dont mean oh of course it wasnt gonna be canon. Of cours it wasnt I dont mean that#what i didnt need was getting baited left and right#the show milked the shit out of. lets be real here. young queer kids and then turned around and pointed and laughed when they gained hope on#their silly red blue ship to get canon#bc lets be real if anything queer was gonna happen. ambiguous non binary pidge was already there#two skinny attractive teen boys is like low hanging fruit. diet rep#but it wasnt even abt that. at least i truly never thought klance was srly gonna b canon. i HOPED. but like. i never shipped 4 canon anyway#i LIKED voltron. i loved lotor. i had always been a multishipper allur//ce was rkly cute i couldve dug that#if they hadnt spent the last season looking miserable AND THEN DYING#tf u mean our female lead died TF U MEAN THE LATINO MC BECAME A FARMER? w the forever marks of his dead gf on his face? Are you joking rn???#anyway. hit me up for more voltron opinions i got tons#(mic drop)
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I hate our shitty apartment and I can't stand our asshole neighbor, but I do know the names of all the plants growing around our building, and I've been watching the same birds for so long that I recognize specific individuals. There's a male cardinal who I refuse to name (because I won't name wild animals), but who I fondly refer to as "the Loud Boy." He just finished growing his feathers back after molting for the year.
My little container garden attracts pollinators and birds, and it makes this shitty living situation a little bit brighter. It's about the only thing that keeps me going some days, but it does keep me going.
#original post#I made a rule that I won't talk about my garden on social media or turn it into any sort of side hustle#but I've felt lately like all I post is angry rants so god damn it here's a nice post about my garden
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i think every game that makes flying the focus (and theres veeery few of those) should have a map with a lot of verticality to it. Yes we all wanna fly a dragon over a vast landscape but when youre high up everything is indistinguishable, the sky is empty, and that gets boring real quick. A flying game should have verticality in a way that lets you explore heights that are really high and places on the map that are overlaid with each other would feel more alive and give you so much more space to work with. In a way, itd be like the inverse of the subnautica map. The original map was amazing because it made the ocean feel so huge. "What do you mean theres five biomes underneath the earth?? what do you mean theres just vast caves under here?" and everything felt super interconnected too. There should be more things in the sky than just you too. Enemies, prey, companions.... etc.
my fave flying game is called 'aer memories of old' and it doesnt really have that verticality but its a good flying game imo because its got a map thats so rewarding to explore, there is a PURPOSE to flying around just beyond what the game wants you to do. The lore of the world is out there for you to find and piece together, and the map is filled with life and details. And recently theres been an uptick in developers trying to make flying dragon games but none feel like flying has any purpose at all other than be really showy and yeah it looks awesome but without a purpose for flying its gonna get boring for the player!!
"This is the dragon game you've always wanted" and its another purposeless multiplayer mmorpg with an insanely huge completely empty map and they focus so much on the five fucking billion dragon cosmetics (and god forbid theyre all free btw) instead of making a game that is fun to play and just put the responsibility of having fun on the shoulders of the player. "omg u can make any dragon in this game the models look so cool!!" ok but what about the game. can you tell me if you game is fun? is there anything to do? oh, just material gathering shit and crafting? and an mmo where you have to play with others for there to be any semblance of life in the world? ok
idk im just sick of seeing games advertised as a dragon survival game where the only survival aspect is like. 'find food' 'find water' 'find a mate to have an egg' repeat. repeat. repeat. surely theres other things?? what about migration? territorial disputes? becoming the apex predator? being a local tyrant or a benevolent protector? there is so much that could be done with dragons but all every dev wants to dip their ass in is multiplayer nonsesne with the most basic hunger and thirst and a basic as fuck combat mechanic and call it survival so that people can choose to kill each other. its so lazy
#THIS TURNED INTO A RANT SORRY. RANT RANT RANT RANT..... OLD MAN YELLS AT A CLOUD I GUESS#thunderclap#this is kind of a rant im jsut so sick of people making games that are just a letdown because developing something#requires actually thinking about what makes a game WORK#Is having a flying game thats decent really such a high task for anyone ever???#the ace combat games are awesome!! and project wingman is awesome too!! but theyre dogfighting!! imagine a game where those missions#happen at random over an open world or something as you explore it. THAT would make a good flying game. augh.#THERE IS SO MUCH POTENTIAL PLEASE CAN SOMEONE MAKE A GAME THATS MORE THAN A DRAGON CHARACTER CREATOR#IM SICK OF THOSE.
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Splatoon 3: Side Order is good, but not great. I still highly recommend it, but if you care about the story, you're going to be disappointed. Quick review: spoilers ahead.
Side Order was the devs experimenting with Splatoon's gameplay loop. The campaign is a rogue-like, and it works amazingly well. Super fun, super challenging, building my deck and fighting through challenges with the stakes of resetting really scratched an itch in my brain. They did a great job with it.
Unfortunately, I feel like priority went to game design rather than story. Much of the mysterious artwork we saw in the first teaser trailer was completely unused; turns out, all of that was just concept art that never made it into the final product. Side Order failed to make me care about what was happening. I don't know why the protagonist had to be Agent 8; it could've been anyone else and the story would've worked the same.
Octo Expansion was the absolute peak of meshing story and gameplay. The campaign's hook is insanely strong; we immediately empathize with Agent 8 because we know from previous lore that octolings like her have been trapped underground for all their lives. We care about her fight to the surface because it's a fundamentally ideological fight for freedom. The plot stuff about Tartar and the Thangs is just nice set dressing; 8's fight for freedom is the real story.
There's none of that in Side Order. I don't particularly care about Marina's metaverse, even if it's tied to Octo Expansion's story. I don't know why Acht is there other than backstory stuff. It really feels like 8 is just told to do something and she does it because she's the protagonist; she has zero personal stakes or motivations in the conflict. This is a story blunder the devs did in Splatoon 3's default campaign––forgetting to give the protagonist a personal reason to fight––that I hoped would be fixed here, but alas.
What makes it worse is that the gameplay and story progression are completely out of sync. I beat the entire game on my third run in 4 hours. With each run, you get up to two keys to potentially unlock bits of story. That means you'll get about one piece of the story every two runs. There are twelve pieces of the story; I got the first and then beat the whole damn game. Now I have to go back and grind to see the remaining story when I've already beaten the final boss and resolved the conflict. I missed the entire story because I never had to reset because I blazed through the gameplay! It's just a real shame that I experienced everything without knowing... why it's happening. The final boss had me asking myself what the hell is going on because I don't know the backstory at all.
Again, I still really recommend. The devs did a great job, but Side Order remains in the shadow of Octo Expansion's incredible success. Like the default singleplayer campaign, there's just a lot of lost story potential here that, while not necessary, would have really elevated this DLC into something amazing.
#long#personal#rant#splatoon#side order#it's a shame too because I got SO FUCKING HYPED at the title drop#when I realized that the entire first 30 minutes of the game was JUST THE OPENING TUTORIAL and they hit you with the music#and the “nintendo presents” and the title drop to a slow mo explosion. I thought “holy shit this is gonna be huge”#alas it wasn't because it turns out i'm better at roguelikes than the devs anticipated so i beat it in 3 hours lol#octo expansion was a cultural reset. it did something to my brain. the entire rising action part of the story; the reveals the twists the#boss fights the upward climb. it was so incredibly hype and just upped the stakes over and over. nothing's come close
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