#So she might say some concerning shit and this isn't going to be the last time for the various morally questionable things she says | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

leclercsluvs · 7 months ago

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CL16/DR3 | Already Over | smau

part 7 | masterlist

an: i'm not really sure how long this is going to be, but i am pretty sure it's not going to be too many more parts. pairing: charles leclerc x fem!reader, daniel ricciardo x fem!reader

charles_leclerc

liked by carlossainz55, landonorris and 5.619.174 others charles_leclerc been working on some new stuff. written for a specific person. love you.

carlossainz55 you're doing everything you can huh?

charles_leclerc i've got to show i'm the one for her landonorris that's the reason you sent her flowers without letting her know? danielricciardo the flowers were from you? maxverstappen1 ooo does charles need to watch out next race?

scfty/n i'm scared this isn't good.

norrislcve oh lord i fear for the next race.

luvsricciardo okay but imagine seeing daniel absolutely fight the shit car he has just so he can threaten charles?? it's gonna be exciiiiting norrislcve and if he takes them both out of the race?? luvsricciardo good for him tbh. charles lowkey deserves it norrislcve you don't even know the full story??? you have a few paparazzi photos and an album FROM ONE SIDE and you decide charles deserves to be taken out of a race? if they can't separate their private life and the race it self, they should NOT be racing.

f1updates

liked by sharllve, lecsluv and 1.279 others f1updates we have been sent these photos that is supposedly yourusername back in ferrari merch. is this a hint towards anything? tagged: yourusername

scfty/n those first two photos are literally old, and the last photo isn't even her?? she posted those two photos on her instagram after one of the first races she attended with charles.

leclrcs i literally saw here there tho, and she was wearing jeans like that scfty/n and that's supposed to prove what? that she reuses jeans? and there's literally two types of jeans here, a pair of black and a pair of light blue 🤨

wrldofleclerc i saw her there, but she was wearing a mclaren jacket (probably to support her bf??)

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, danielricciardo and 4.719.720 others yourusername well it seems some people were concerned with what i was wearing at the race this weekend. ferrari? nah. mclaren? yes. (he caught me trying to be sneaky while taking a photo) tagged: danielricciardo

danielricciardo to be honest you don't have to be sneaky. you can take photos of me anyday. i know i look good

yourusername you're right. i can take photos of you anytime. because i'm your girlfriend. i dont need permission 🥰 landonorris if he ever says you can't take photos of him, you're free to start taking photos of me 🙃 yourusername might take advantage of that offer. thank you danielricciardo don't steal my girlfriend 😠

y/nsvsp looks better than the red tbh

leclercsbae how dare you? y/nsvsp just speaking the truth 🤷 wrldofy/n can we agree she looks amazing in everything tho?

lecswrld good for you tbh. tell them

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, danielricciardo and 2.823.973 others yourusername all talked out, don't worry no one's being pushed off the track this weekend. right? am i going back to red? never. i found my color 🧡 tagged: charles_leclerc, danielricciardo

danielricciardo speak for yourself, i'm pushing people off the track i need to get back on that podium

charles_leclerc not the best way to do it mate landonorris you're letting me stay right? your favorite teammate? danielricciardo let's see 🤷‍♂️ yourusername don't threaten lando. he's too precious.

lecswrld he already looks so much happier!

rics.aep omggg they're friiiiends

luvsnorris are they getting back together?

leclercsaep i doubt it. with the rumors of him having cheated and her being in a happy relationship, there's a slim chance y/n and charles will get back together

charles_leclerc

liked by yourusername, pierregasly and 1.718.032 others charles_leclerc was forced to tasted this green thing. never doing that again. absolutely horrifying. tagged: yourusername, maxverstappen1

maxverstappen1 and you loved it

yourusername you charles you loved it >:( charles_leclerc i absolutely did not. i hated it. horrible. worst time of my life. maxverstappen1 worse than qualifying in baku 2019? charles_leclerc blocked.

pierregasly thank you for these photos. they're amazing.

yourusername i have some of max too. wanna see them? charles_leclerc YOU DIDN'T POST THOSE? yourusername no, not yet. do you see them on my profile? maxverstappen1 if you post those, i will make sure both daniel AND charles will end up in the wall on sunday. charles_leclerc you wouldn't danielricciardo i am shook.

comicallec everyone say a thanks to y/n for taking these photos

landonorris thank you y/n 🙏

danielricciardo

liked by yourusername, mclaren and 2.492.129 others danielricciardo back on that top step baby! knew it was possible 💪 tagged: mclaren

landonorris excuse me did you forget that i was there with you???

danielricciardo my dear friend, you are in the second photo. landonorris was expecting more aknowledgement ngl yourusername don't worry i took lots of photos where it's visible landonorris at least someone cares about my feelings

mclaren so proud of our drivers for the 1-2 this weekend! 💪

yourusername

liked by landonorris, danielricciardo and 3.111.304 others yourusername since my boyfriend couldn't care less about including lando, heres a few photos from the weekend that includes lando (i'm aware most of you follow me for my singing and not these randon guys that likes driving fast cars, but i'm just very proud 🥹 i'm leaving for tour in a couple of days and then you'll get all sorts of content) tagged: danielricciardo, landonorris, mclaren

landonorris THANK YOU

danielricciardo you're acting like i didn't include you AT ALL 🥲 landonorris because you barely did maxverstappen1 yeah mate you could have put in some more effort yourusername yeah daniel you could have included at least one more with him. danielricciardo wow i see how it is

ncrrisfav YESSSS gimme gimme gimme

landonorris

liked by yourusername, danielricciardo and 1.908.166 others landonorris daniel hurt my feelings so he's not being included >:( thank you yourusername for the second photo! amazing weekend. would not recommend drinking champagne from daniel's shoe tho tagged: danielricciardo, mclaren

yourusername yeah honestly drinking from daniel's shoe, disgusting.

danielricciardo and i thought you loved me landonorris your feet sweat tastes disgusting. never doing that again danielricciardo can i bribe you?? landonorris depends how much you're willing to pay yourusername disgusting.

norris.vfx god the content we're getting right now is AMAZING

clarkeybog ikr?? loving it!

part 8

#charles leclerc x reader #f1smau #f1 x female reader #f1 x reader #f1 x y/n #f1 x you #formula 1 #formula 1 smau #formula 1 x y/n #formula 1 x you #formula one x you #daniel ricciardo x y/n #daniel ricciardo x you #daniel ricciardo x reader #daniel ricciardo #charles leclerc

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heavensickness · 7 months ago

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Completely random things about Disco Elysium characters that I think about

Klaasje isn't Garte's type and he is probably the only one immune to her charm (she even manages to fool Kim)

Garte never takes a step back and even yells at the Hardie Boys and mercenaries. He doesn't give a shit if he dies.

Cunoesse sleeps outside at night

Cuno used to do his homework so he is not 100% illiterate

Cuno is locked out of his house by his father (his father keeps his key) so Harry breaking into their apartment might be the only way he could get in again

Smoker in the balcony says that Harry looks like he does belong in the Homosexual Underground. He even flirts a little

Egghead dresses like a boideiro

Measurehead can't get hard for his babe which he uses some of his racist bullshit to explain

You can touch the hanged man's penis for some reason and electrochemistry even urges you to

Kim intervenes when Harry is talking to Paledriver or Joyce only out of concern for him

When Harry sees Judit he immediately remembers her as the horse faced woman because that was probably what he used to call her before his amnesia, at least in his head

Similarly, Jean uses the words middle-class, bangable and fuckable while describing Dora in a deadpan tone even though he never met her because that was probably what Harry exactly said about Dora while he was drunk. The drunks in the fishing village also confirm that Harry said a "whore" fucked him over.

Endurance and physical instrument holds Harry's repressed toxic masculinity and possible misogyny, although you can become a feminist or grow out of those thoughts throughout the game. If you don't, they will repeat thoughts about how women are whores and they are all crazy.

Both in Harry's first dream and last dream, his subconscious focuses on Dora's sexual aspects: Warmth of her mouth, between her thighs, wearing a white gown that shows her figure etc.

Kim will still like your karaoke performance even if it was a disaster and he will even defend your performance against Jean

Jules Pideu will try to encourage you if you tell him you can't do this anymore

What Judit feels for Harry is just pity

If you make a "joke" to Cuno about Kim dressing in drag Kim will think something like "YOU are the one who looks like a hooker in those promiscuous clothes"

Jean will also tell you that you look like you have 20 STDs if you are wearing something "promiscuous"

Trant used to be a drug addict and so he understands why Harry can't just quit drinking

Ruby does not actually want to hurt Harry and Kim. She even decreases the intensity of pale emitter because she feels bad for them

Evrart will say "you are NOT an ultraliberal Harry, get the fuck out of here" if Harry says that he is an ultraliberal

Kim will yell "are you stupid??" so loud that Harry will lose a health point if he says that he is a fascist

Andre is "not twenty" and he is already balding

"Pigs" lady used to take care of the Hardie boys when they were kids

Titus says "some Hardie boys are queerer than others and that's okay", looking at Glen

Glen is probably gay but he is the one who reacts the most when Harry says that Ruby likes girls

You can give the working class woman a hug

Harry can ask Joyce if she wants to fuck but she will evade it immediately, saving both of them from embarrasment

If Harry goes on a date with Lilienne, one of his skills will say that this is as far as he could go in his current state & he should be sober for more than a year for something more. Which indicates that if Harry did not keep drinking/he has recovered, he could actually pursue Lilienne and they could be something more

Kim knows that wearing anal beads in public would not make a sound

#Almost none of these are tied to each other. These just live in my head for some reason #Completely random #disco elysium #Things i'm playing

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pudding-parade · 7 months ago

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Sorry, but I have to get political on all your asses, at least those of you who live in the US. It will be a one-time thing on this subject, the only thing that I will say here about the election before it happens. And yeah, I'm going to say this on a blog devoted to a stupid video game. Why? Because I know that I have younger American people who follow me here, and if y'all are like some of the younger people I've talked to in real life and online in other venues, I have concerns. So I'm going to say all this as an old-ass, progressive American. Because if I can wake up one apathetic mind out there, it will be worth it. And if you're pissed at me for making a single political post at this important juncture, then fuck off and unfollow me or send me nasty messages or whatever you want to do. I don't care. And I'm not cutting this, either.

My dear followers: Donald Trump cannot -- CANNOT -- become president again.

Late last night, Trump posted on his Truth Social account a video containing language and images reminiscent of the World War era. It was about his fantasies of what America would be like, should he win the general election in about five months. It contained suspicious imagery and phrases like "creating a unified Reich." Does that sort of language sound familiar? Especially when combined with his rhetoric about immigrants being "vermin" that "poison the blood of our country?" Ring any bells? I'm sure it does for any German folks who might read this.

Trump's post was only taken down about 12 hours later, after backlash over it, and then Trump claimed that a "low level staffer" posted it, not him. Which is either a lie OR he was lying when he said previously that only he and his campaign's communications director have or will ever have access to that account. If you want more info about this, here's a short video from Jesse Dollemore, an independent commentator:

youtube

This election isn't about liberal/progressive vs. conservative. It truly doesn't matter what your personal ideology is because this election is about saving democracy. This is about preserving your freedoms, because we won't be able to do anything about any other issue, whatever our individual ideologies and pet issues are, if our basic freedoms upon which this country was founded -- freedom of speech and to protest, freedom of (and from) religion, freedom of the press -- are chipped away until they are gone. Because that's what autocrats do. They want freedom only for themselves, and Donald Trump and his cronies and hangers-on are all autocrat wannabes.

And if you -- Yes, you, even if you're sitting in the middle of blood-red state -- don't vote for Joe Biden, you will be doing your part to hand the autocrats what they want, because a non-vote or a vote for anyone other than Biden is in fact a vote for Trump and autocracy. Similarly, you must also vote for Democrats for all other positions, local, state, and federal so that America's overt flirtation with autocracy that's been going on since at least the 1990s might finally end once and for all.

Yes, yes, I know: "But Genocide Joe!" Think about it: Do you seriously think that Trump, who licks Netanyahu's asshole because he sees him as the kind of "strong man" that Trump wants to be, is going to help Gaza? Or that he'll go against Putin and continue aid to Ukraine? Because if you think that he will do either of those things, I have several bridges I'd like to sell you. No, Trump is going to "put America first." He says it all the time, and what he means by that is that he will do nothing except whatever it takes to keep himself and his cronies in power while also isolating America by severing ties to our allies. Gaza will be given to Netanyahu just as Ukraine will be given to Putin, should Trump win, and he won't give a shit. In the end, Biden (and Harris, should she have to take over) will listen and help Gaza, maybe not as much as we'd like because the Middle East situation is complicated and there are no simple solutions, but a Biden-led government will certainly help more than another Trumpian government would. And Biden will definitely continue to aid Ukraine, because that situation isn't complicated at all.

And in the end, it's not really about Ukraine and Gaza, though they are of course important. It's about us. Should Trump get into the White House again, he will surround himself with people who want America to be a plutocratic and authoritarian autocracy, very similar to Putin's Russia. This is not hyperbole. This is fact. A vote for Trump -- either actual or de facto by fucking around with not voting or voting for a third party because you think it's a "protest" -- is a vote to end democracy, plain and simple, which might very well mean that you'll never be able to protest again another day.

How bad could Trump be, you ask? Who cares who is president? Well, have a look at Project 2025. It's a 900-page "playbook" for the next "conservative" administration. (In quotes because there is nothing "conservative" about these people, including Trump and his cronies; they are radicals.) It is nothing less than a plan to destroy the federal government, the Constitution, and the freedoms that it enshrines and protects, which means the end of democracy. They published a similar tome before Reagan was elected, and once he was in, Reagan followed through with a lot of it. I have no doubt that Trump would, too, given that his "Agenda 47" platform is basically the same. Here is an article that summarizes Project 2025 and details some of its directives. And here is an article from Time Magazine, of all things, where the writer of it interviewed Trump about his vision for America, should he win. The first line of the article is, "Donald Trump thinks he’s identified a crucial mistake of his first term: He was too nice." You can read the transcripts of the interviews, too, so you can rest assured that the interviewer isn't being hyperbolic.

It ain't good, folks. Part of this extreme-right agenda is ridiculously expanding the power of the executive branch so that it would no longer be checked and balanced by Congress and the Supreme Court, which effectively turns the presidency into a dictatorship. And if Biden does not win, at least some of this bullshit will come to pass, especially because Trump already has the Supreme Court in his pocket. And he'll be able to appoint more young, far-right lunatics to that, too, should he win.

I'll repeat that Trump CANNOT win. I'll be the first to say that, as a pretty extreme (but also pragmatic) progressive, I'm not Biden's biggest fan, for various reasons. He is way farther right than I am, though he has been far more progressive-friendly than I expected and he has gotten some very good things done. But even if he wasn't and hadn't, he will preserve democracy and because of that, I will be voting for him without hesitation. I won't even have to hold my nose. Trump and his cronies in Congress and the Supreme Court will destroy democracy if you -- Yes, YOU! -- let them. And if you let them by deciding not to vote or doing some sort of lame "protest" vote, especially if you live in that handful of states where every presidential vote matters, you will have no one to blame but yourself and others like you. People being apathetic or doing "protest" votes is what got us Trump the first time around.

For fuck's sake, do the right thing.

#non sims #us politics #sorry not sorry #Youtube

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try-set-me-on-fire · 2 years ago

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Ooh how abut number '11. toothpaste kisses' for soft prompts! Love your writing

Send me soft prompts! Ao3 collection post here!

Eddie is going to make everyone late.

Look: he really thinks most of it isn't his fault. He'd covered for somebody on B shift Tuesday, so he'd only had 24 hours off and he'd had to sleep through a good chunk of it, so laundry went a little by the wayside, leading to him tossing a frantic load into the washer at 5 am when he realized he had no clean work clothes. And, again, he’d covered that Tuesday shift after a 12 hour on Monday, so it’s reasonable that he forgot how dire the toothpaste situation was. The look Chris had given him when he said they needed to run to the store right now at bright and early 6 am would have withered a lesser soul, so at 6:04 Eddie, still in sweatpants and wearing ratty old slides is running down the block solo to grab whatever they have at the nearest corner store. He winces as he grabs the baking soda kind (Chris hates it) and books it back to the house, trying to breathe through the waves of oh god I’m a terrible father who left my kid alone and forgot about dental hygiene.

The house is considerably more crowded when he gets back to it. First, Chimney is lugging a dresser up the front stairs.

“What- hey- what-“ Eddie grabs the bottom of the thing, hastily shoving the toothpaste in his pocket. “What’s this?”

Chim tilts his head at him. “We were getting rid of it and you said you could use a new dresser, remember? I texted you I was coming to drop it off.”

Eddie’s phone is probably dinging away uselessly on his bedside table. “Right, yeah, sorry. There was a toothpaste emergency. Uh, thank you, we can just-“

Before he can come up with some way to finish that sentence, Carla opens the door. He hadn’t even seen her car, shit, he hopes there’s no calls right away when they get to work because he’s clearly not slept enough and should lay down again as soon as possible.

“Oh!” She says, surprised and cheerful. “Why don’t you bring that into the living room. I put your clothes in the dryer, Eddie, I figured if you were running the wash this early it was an emergency.”

Well thank god somebody has a plan and knows whats happening. He and Chim set the dresser next to a wall someplace as out of the way as they can get, and then Eddie points at Carla. “Thank you,” he says, trying to put as much sincerity into the words as possible, before pivoting to head down the hall to find Chris. Its not a long journey, the kid standing right around the corner. Eddie hands him the toothpaste. “There you go.”

Chris scrunches his nose. “Baking soda kind. Gross. And I don’t need it, Dad, Buck brought the good stuff.”

“Buck?”

“Hey.”

Eddie pivots again to look in the kitchen, where the man himself is leaning against the counter drinking a cup of coffee out of his current favorite mug, the one with the squiggly little drawing of a frog and a chicken dancing together. “Hi.” Eddie supposes he isn’t exactly surprised he’s here, Buck is a feature of their household as much as the mug he’s holding is, but he is a little concerned about the amount of people popping out of the woodwork without him noticing. “Anybody else here? Why’d you bring toothpaste?”

Buck grins. “I think you’ve seen everybody now. And you were running out when I was here last, you’ve been busy, figured it might be helpful.”

Eddie nods, a little… wordless, maybe, a little bowled over. “I’m gonna…” he gestures towards the bathroom and limply leaves the conversation. By the time he’s brushed his teeth (it is the good stuff, the pricier name brand arctic fresh, Eddie usually goes for generic spearmint) Chris and Carla are ready to head out the door. Eddie is glancing at the clock and nervously calculating exactly how wet the clothes he’s about to put on are going to be as he says goodbye, leaning to kiss Carla, Chris, and Chim’s cheeks. “Ok, thank you, have a great day at school, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

It takes a few seconds of staring at Chimney’s trying not to laugh face, and listening to Chris’s not-trying-not-to-laugh-at-all guffaws before his brain catches up to his actions. “Oh my god.”

Chimney grins and Eddie shakes his head futilely against the oncoming barrage. "I always knew I was your favorite." He smacks a hand to his cheek and swoons, and Eddie rolls his eyes. "Everyone said it was Buck, but I knew the Han-Diaz love connection was just waiting to happen."

Buck is laughing somewhere behind him, and Eddie wants to see what look is on his face, but instead he rolls his eyes again, harder, and says "I'm going to check on the laundry," and shoos his son out the door before fleeing to the dryer.

Of course it's all still fucking damp. They're already pushing it on time though (maybe if all three of them are late they can unionize against Bobby?) so he shucks his sweats and shimmies his way into the unpleasant cool of his pants. When he emerges from his shirt, wincing, he finds Buck in the hallway with him.

“Chimney says we’re running late and if you don’t hurry up he’s leaving you for dead, no matter your new found love.”

“I know, I know, I just need to find my shoes-“

“I put ‘em by the door,” Buck smiles, and then the smile becomes a grin. “Hey, Eddie.”

“Yeah?” Eddie says with the right amount of apprehension for the situation.

“No goodbye kiss for me?” He tilts his head, grin thoroughly classifiable as shit-eating.

“We’re going to the same place, Buck. I’m probably gonna ride in your car.” He’s absolutely going to ride in his car, they both know it.

“Ah, so is Chimney, he got one.”

And Eddie could defend himself with the reasonable explanation that he just happened to be standing in a row next to the people he’d meant to press his affection onto, or the less reasonable explanation that he only gives goodbye kisses to people whose names start with a C, but instead he says “You want a kiss, Buck?”

And he’s moving before he loses nerve, and Buck is also moving, laughing at him, so again Eddie feels like it’s not entirely his fault when his kiss lands sort of on his cheek but mostly- it’s mostly on his mouth, which is soft and exhaling a little surprised sound against Eddie. They both pull back but maybe not as far as they probably should, if they weren’t them, if Eddie hadn’t spent the last few weeks or maybe years wondering how he could ask Buck to live on the shelf with all the mugs he’s cycled through as favorites. Then Buck darts his head forward, pecking another little kiss to his mouth, and Eddie chases him for a third, and Buck’s hand tangles in his shirt and he says “Oh” into Eddie’s mouth because the fabric is wet under his touch.

“Buckley, Diaz, I’m getting in my car, and I’m not going to defend you to Cap!”

Even at Chimney’s words they don’t entirely jump apart, just slide back a little, stand more firmly facing each other as the front door distantly opens and shuts.

“We’re gonna be late,” Buck says, an awed little smile pulling at his face.

“Yeah,” Eddie says, a little breathless. Maybe he can blame that on the cold clothes. “We should probably get going.”

Buck nods, and barely finishes the motion before Eddie puts his hands on his face and pulls him in for another minty kiss, firm, a promise. Buck is grinning when he backs off and Eddie is sure his face is a mirror image as he ducks around him to go find his shoes.

They’re late. But as Buck settles next to him on the couch, all pressed along his side despite the still damp clothes, Eddie thinks it was worth the wait.

#buddie #eddie diaz #evan buckley #911 fox #my writing #911 abc

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libraryofgage · 1 year ago

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Hashah Tovah! It's Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year, and there's no such thing as too much Jewish Steve in my book (that being said, this story isn't about the New Year, it's about Shabbat hfjdks)

Also, I'm gonna be honest, this fic is a love letter to Judaism and my experiences with my temple and the people there. My experiences aren't universal, though, so please don't take anything here as, like, the end-all-be-all of Judaism. If you have questions about anything here, you can ask me; I'll be happy to answer ^_^

The time period is also very loose. Upside Down happened, but some of the attitudes are probably a bit more modern. Honestly, I suggest just shutting off your brain and enjoying the story lmao

CW: vague mentions of antisemitism and homophobia

As always, if you see any typos no you didn't

(also this is like 4k so buckle in bois)

----

Steve's car has officially given up on life. Honestly, he's surprised it even managed to live this long. For all it's been through, it probably deserves some rest and TLC. Steve just wishes it could have demanded that rest and TLC on any other day.

Because it's Friday. Because it's Shabbat. Because he's about to have a mob of concerned elderly members of his temple crowding his door if he doesn't go to services tonight, and that's not something he wants his neighbors to see.

He considers calling Robin, but she won't be much help. She might be his Emergency Goy, but she doesn't have a car. Now that he's thinking about it, Robin may not be the best Emergency Goy, not that he'd ever tell her that.

He knows one other person with a car, of course, but that means he has to call Eddie. Not that Steve has anything against him, of course, but Eddie makes him feel a lot of things that he's not quite ready to confront just yet.

Steve frowns, staring at the phone for a long moment, trying to come up with any other option.

Steve comes up empty.

Shit.

He takes a deep breath and takes the phone off the receiver, slowly punching in the numbers as though he'll suddenly have an epiphany before he's finished dialing.

Unfortunately, he doesn't, and the phone is now ringing. It rings twice before getting picked up, Eddie's familiar voice saying, "You've reached Casa de Munson. The fuck do you want?"

"Do you always answer the phone like that?" Steve asks, momentarily forgetting about the favor he was planning to ask.

He hears Eddie hum and can practically picture the way he's now leaning against the wall next to the phone, an amused smirk tugging at his lips. "Well, well, well. If it isn't Stevie. What, pray tell, has you calling me?" he asks.

Steve almost hangs up. This is already stressful for him. What if Eddie doesn't agree? Worst, what if he does? Wouldn't that mean Eddie is going to see a part of himself that nobody but Robin has seen? That's fucking terrifying. What if Eddie suddenly hates him?

"I, uh, I need a favor," Steve admits.

"What kind of favor?"

If he wanted, Steve could just lie. It wouldn't be his first time lying about Friday plans. "My car won't start," Steve says, hesitating for a second more before continuing, "and I need a ride to the next town tonight."

"Gee, Harrington, get invited to a party?" Eddie asks, a slight edge to his voice that Steve can't quite place.

"What? No. I...it's not a party, okay? This is really important to me, man. Can you give me a ride or should I ask someone else?"

Maybe Hopper or Joyce would have enough time to give him a ride. He just needs to be dropped off. Getting back...can be a bridge he crosses when he comes to it.

"What time would we be getting back?" Eddie asks, pulling Steve from his thoughts.

"Probably after nine. And we need to be there at six, so that means leaving here no later than five," Steve says, trying to ignore the growing hope and sense of dread in the pit of his stomach. "I know it's really last minute, but you could spend the night at my place after. If you want."

"Will it be fun?"

"Uh, maybe? I don't know, man, it kinda depends. I find it fun, but you might get...bored," Steve says. Or offended. Maybe infuriated? Maybe betrayed that this is a whole part of Steve's life he's never hinted at.

"You're being real mysterious about all this, big boy."

"Yeah, I'm sorry. It's just hard to explain."

"Well, lucky for you, I'm bored and curious."

----

On the drive, Eddie keeps trying to figure out where Steve is directing him. He keeps asking questions, Steve keeps dodging them, and that feeling of inevitable dread keeps growing.

Of course, all that dodging is rendered obsolete as Eddie pulls into a parking spot and shuts off the van. A few families are walking into the temple, some parents glancing curiously at the unfamiliar van, some glancing suspiciously, and some too distracted by kids to notice.

"Uh, are you sure this is the place?" Eddie asks, frowning slightly as he looks at the temple and then at Steve.

Steve swallows around the lump in his throat, his hands nervously gripping the material of his sweater. "I'm Jewish," he blurts out, feeling his face burning. When a few seconds pass without any response, he burns holes into a tree outside and adds, "It's Friday night services. Shabbat. I've missed too many because of...you know. The, um, the Rabbi called and asked if I was okay, and I promised to be at services tonight. You don't have to stay if you don't feel comfortable."

"You don't look Jewish."

Steve tenses, jerking his head to look at Eddie. There's no malice in his eyes. No suspicion, either, thankfully. He just looks...confused. "What's a Jew supposed to look like?" Steve asks in return, wondering if Eddie even knows that he's toeing the edge of the antisemitic swimming pool.

Eddie opens his mouth before closing it again. "Uh...I don't know, actually. Just...not you, I guess?"

Okay. Yeah. Steve can deal with this. He forces himself to relax. "Well, Jews come in all shapes and sizes," he says. He hesitates before deciding to get a burning question out of the way. "Are you angry?"

"What the fuck would I be angry about?"

"That I didn't tell you. That I was Jewish. To be fair, only Robin knows."

Eddie shakes his head, turning in his seat to face Steve. "No, Stevie, I'm not angry. I mean, I live in Hawkins, too. Not exactly the place to be standing out unless you wanna get accused of murder."

Despite himself, Steve can't help snorting at that. He takes a deep breath, the last bit of tension leaving his shoulders. "Well, uh, do you want to stay for services?" he asks.

"Can I? I'm not Jewish. And I'm dressed like this," Eddie says, gesturing at his clothes.

A Hellfire Club shirt, denim vest, gaudy rings, and dark jeans. It's incredibly Eddie, and something about it reassures Steve. He says, "You're with me, so not being Jewish is fine. And your clothes are okay, too. It's not formal."

"My shirt literally says Hellfire."

"Well, it's a good thing Judaism doesn't really have a hell."

Eddie stares at him for a few seconds, clearly full of questions, but then he just nods and climbs out of the van. Steve blinks and scrambles out as well, wanting to create some kind of buffer between Eddie and the congregation members who see a stranger and instantly become defensive.

The moment he's shut the door, he hears a little kid shout excitedly, "Steve!"

He whirls around in time to see a young girl rush across the parking lot, much to the shock and concern of her guardian. Thankfully, there aren't any cars, so the girl is unimpeded in her rush to Steve.

Eddie comes around the side of the van just in time to see the girl launch herself at Steve, giggling when he lifts her up and spins. "Yael! Have you gotten bigger?" he asks, smiling brightly as he comes to a stop and sets her on his waist.

Yael returns his smile with a grin of her own, tilting her head up so he can clearly see the brand-new gap in her teeth. "I lost a tooth! See? It came out last week," she tells him, practically bouncing in his arms.

By now, Yael's grandfather has reached them, smiling indulgently. "Yael," he says, his voice gentle but firm, "you know better than to run across parking lots." When she mumbles an apology, he looks at Steve, his smile turning warm. "Steve, it's been a few weeks. I'm glad to see you again, and you've even brought a friend."

Steve returns the smile and nods, shifting closer to Eddie. "Yeah, things got a little...chaotic in Hawkins. Oh. Mr. Adler, this is Eddie Munson. Eddie, Elijah Alder."

Mr. Adler's eyes light up, and Steve suddenly remembers something incredibly embarrassing. "Oh?" he says, looking at Eddie with renewed interest, "So this is the famous Eddie Munson? I'm glad to see you've healed well."

Eddie blinks, glancing at Steve. "Uh, thanks. How'd you know?"

"Steve asked the Rabbi to include you during the Mi Shebeirach."

"The Misha what now?"

"Mi Shebeirach," Steve says, gently nudging Eddie with his elbow. "It's a prayer for healing."

Mr. Adler nods once, his eyes practically dancing with new gossip. "Oh, yes, you've created quite the stir among the Sisterhood, you know. They have a backlog of Mi Shebeirach cards and nowhere to send them."

Steve translates that information as "the old ladies have been dying to know who this mysterious Eddie Munson is, so Steve had better brace himself." His smile becomes a little strained. "Well, let's get it over with, then."

Mr. Adler nods and gestures for Steve and Eddie to follow as he leads them toward the temple. While they walk, Yael looks at Eddie, her eyes wide. "Why is your hair so long?" she asks.

"Cuz I like it that way."

"Oh. Why are you wearing rings?"

"Because they're cool."

"Oh. Why did you need healing?"

"I was hurt really bad."

"Oh. By what?"

"A bear."

"Oh. Are you Steve's friend?"

Eddie glances at Steve, meeting his eyes for a brief second before smiling at Yael. "Yeah, Stevie and I are best friends."

Yael smiles right back. "Steve is my best friend, too! He's super strong and can carry me without getting tired and makes the best hamentaschen at Purim!"

"Yael," Mr. Adler says, cutting off any continuation of the conversation as they reach the doors of the temple. "Why don't you go let the Rabbi know Steve has joined us?"

Her entire face lights up with joy. "Okay!" she shouts, wiggling in Steve's arms until he lets her down. She tugs open the door, straining until Steve smiles and helps her. "Thanks! Bye, Steve!"

With that, she dashes into the temple, her voice carrying Steve's name into the room full of other people. When almost all of them, including three children that Steve can see, stop what they're doing and look over at the door, Mr. Adler says from behind Steve and Eddie, "Brace yourselves, my boys. The wolves have appeared."

Steve groans as Mr. Adler pushes them both inside. "Should I be worried?" Eddie whispers, leaning in closer to Steve as the door shuts behind them.

"I apologize in advance," Steve tells him.

Despite his words, he has a large grin as the three kids shout his name and rush over, much like Yael did. They're followed by a few teenagers and their parents. The kids pounce on Steve, two holding onto his biceps and hanging from them as he raises his arms while the third clings to his leg.

"Where ya been?" one of the teens asks, her hair pulled back into a ponytail so permed it looks ready to burst.

"Yeah, man, I've been manning the oneg table by myself," another teen says, his arms crossed over a Metallica shirt. He's got piercings climbing up one ear and through an eyebrow, and his gaze moves to Eddie as he speaks, taking in the other boy. "Who's this?"

"Yeah," another girl asks, smiling at Eddie and batting her eyes in a way that makes even Steve feel uncomfortable, "who's your friend, Steve?"

"Kids," an older woman says, pushing her way through them, "you know better than to crowd. Shouldn't you be passing out prayer books right now?" Once she's managed to shoo the teens away, she turns her gaze on the children still clinging to Steve. "And you three, I heard Mrs. Rost needs help in the kitchen. Something about there being too many cookies to platter all by herself."

Steve suddenly finds himself weightless as the kids abandon him, dashing down the hall toward the kitchen. He smiles with slight relief and looks at the woman. "Thanks," he says, rolling his shoulders.

"Of course, Steve. Now, who's your friend?" she asks, looking Eddie up and down curiously.

"Oh, right. Uh. Rabbi, this is Eddie Munson. Eddie, this is Rabbi Sara. I, um, I was hoping he could sit in on services tonight?"

Rabbi Sara immediately smiles at them. She holds out her hand to Eddie, shaking firmly when he returns the gesture. "Of course! I'm glad to see you're doing better, Eddie. We've been a bit worried about you here," she says. She glances around before leaning in and conspiratorially whispering, "There's a betting pool on whether his name would be added to the Mourner's Kiddish."

Steve snorts, knowing exactly which members would have started that bet. "Yeah, well, tell Diane and Yakov they've lost."

Rabbi Sara barely holds back her laughter, nodding once as she lets go of Eddie's hand. "Well, how about I spare you boys from socializing more," she offers.

When Steve nods, she gestures for them to follow her, leading the way to the sanctuary. He glances at Eddie as they walk, taking in the way he's tugging on a lock of hair and looking at the hall around them. "You doing okay?" Steve whispers, leaning in closer.

Eddie glances at him, is silent for a few minutes, and then says, "It's a lot to take in."

"Service will be easier. Lots of music. You'll like it," Steve promises, smiling reassuringly at Eddie. He hesitates before adding, "And if you want to leave, just let me know. The important part was making sure people saw I wasn't dead."

That's not entirely true. Steve doesn't want to leave the Shabbat service. He misses the routine of it and the feeling of togetherness as everyone sings. But Eddie's comfort is taking precedence here; he's already given Steve a ride and has begun subjecting himself to Steve's nosy congregation. Leaving early if he gets overwhelmed is the least Steve can do, really.

The teen in the Metallica shirt, Sam, holds out two prayer books when Rabbi Sara leads them to the sanctuary doors. His gaze lingers on Eddie for a few seconds more before asking, "Dude, do I know you?"

Eddie blinks and raises an eyebrow. "I don't know. Do you?"

Their gazes hold for nearly a minute before Sam's eyes widen and light with recognition. Steve is bracing himself for the worst (you know, devil worshipper, accused murderer, wannabe criminal, take your pick). Instead, Sam grins and says, "Yeah, I totally do! You're in that band, yeah? The one that plays at Hideout sometimes? Corroded Coffin. Your music is metal, man."

Eddie returns Sam's grin, throwing an arm over his shoulders and leaning in close. "You know, you're alright. Always happy to meet a fan. What's your favorite song?"

"You played that new one last Saturday. Bats, I think. It spoke to me, man."

Steve stares at Eddie, wondering how he missed the fact that Corroded Coffin started playing gigs again. A curl of something like regret or maybe hurt begins to build in his stomach, and he's almost overtaken by it when Eddie nods and says, "Oh, yeah, that one's about Stevie."

"Oohh, dude, that makes so much sense now."

"You wrote a song about me?" Steve asks, successfully regaining Eddie's attention.

Apparently, Eddie sort of forgot he was there. His relaxed posture becomes a little awkward, and he removes his arm from Sam's shoulder. He clears his throat, tugging a lock of hair in front of his mouth as he says, "Yeah. Is, uh, is that a problem?"

"No," Steve says, feeling a reassuring smile tug at his lips, "but you should play it for me sometime."

"This is all very touching," a voice says behind them, "but can you take the flirting inside the sanctuary? We still need our prayer books."

Steve jolts and looks behind them, laughing awkwardly when he sees Rivkah, a woman in her early 30s, and her partner, Tamar. "Sorry," he says, grabbing Eddie's arm and dragging him through the doors.

"Hey, Harrington," Eddie whispers, allowing himself to be pulled over to some chairs near the left corner of the sanctuary, "is everything okay? Like...are we...safe?"

It takes a moment for Steve to understand what Eddie means. Like, of course, he can't guarantee their safety. It's a synagogue. Every person here old enough to understand the world knows the risk, the potential for one person to show up and wreak utter destruction. Steve is about to say as much (and explain the temple's "worst case scenario" game plan) when he notices Eddie glancing at Rivkah and Tamar.

A light bulb practically clicks on above him, and he almost laughs at himself. He sits down and tugs Eddie into the seat next to him. "Yeah, we're safe, Eds," he promises, smiling softly when Eddie looks at him. "Rivkah and Tamar are married. I attended the ceremony. It was very nice. Tamar broke the glass."

Eddie's eyes widen slightly, and he looks around the sanctuary with renewed interest. His gaze especially lingers on the people that file in, taking in the couples and families and groups that wouldn't make much sense outside the temple's doors. Steve is content to let him look, allowing himself to relax back into the seat and wait.

After almost 15 minutes, Rabbi Sara approaches the bema and smiles at everyone. "Good evening, and Shabbat Shalom," she says, nodding along as her greeting is returned. "I'm glad to see so many familiar faces tonight. And some new ones. The week has been long for some of us, but it's now come to an end, and we have gathered to celebrate its end, another week's beginning, and being together. Now, please open your books to page 47 for the L'cha Dodi."

Steve flips open his book as Anna, the cantor and the same girl who tried to flirt with Eddie, starts playing the guitar next to Rabbi Sara. "Uh, the book is backward," Eddie whispers, leaning close to Steve.

"Hebrew is written right to left," Steve explains, taking Eddie's book and opening it to the right page. "Also, don't worry about singing along. Just try to follow. If you don't know where we are, just nudge me. I'll point you to the right spot."

Eddie nods, looking almost overwhelmed, but Rabbi Sara starts singing before Steve can reassure him verbally. Instead, he just shifts so their shoulders are pressed together, flashing a tiny smile when Eddie looks at him before joining the rest of the congregation in singing.

Steve has to point Eddie at the right line a few times, but he doesn't mind. He's memorized the prayer by now, and the book is really just for show. He pulls Eddie up with the rest of the congregation during the L'cha Dodi, turns him to the sanctuary doors, and places a hand on his back to gently nudge him into a bow. Eddie blinks through it, following along but seeming overwhelmed by the entire process. When the prayer is finished and Rabbi Sara invites them to greet each other, Steve looks at Eddie with a smile (one of the most genuine smiles he's had in weeks), holds out his hand, and says, "Shabbat Shalom, Eddie."

Eddie doesn't hesitate to take his hand, leaning in close and returning the smile. "Shabbat Shalom?" he asks, speaking slowly to test the words and let Steve approve of the pronunciation. When Steve nods, Eddie's smile grows wider, and he whispers, "Shabbat Shalom, sweetheart."

That...that's a new nickname. And Steve doesn't know what to do with it. Maybe Eddie just wanted the pseudo-alliteration, but his smile says otherwise, and Steve feels like he's frozen in place.

And then a few of the kids dash over to him, shouting, "Shabbat Shalom!" at the top of their lungs and practically fighting to shake his hand first. Steve would feel honored if he didn't know they raced to beat each other to every adult.

After greeting, they light the candles. After lighting the candles, Rabbi Sara leads them into the next prayer, the rest of the service flowing smoothly with her as their guide.

The service is (beautifully, wonderfully, incredibly, thankfully) the same as always. Prayers are sung, and Steve can practically feel them in his bones. He's never been particularly religious (his mother would say they're more culturally Jewish than anything else), but he can't deny that the sound of over 50 people, young and old and in-between, singing together is an otherworldly experience.

They are singing a language that only a few of them actually know how to speak. Steve is reading a language that he wouldn't recognize outside of the prayer book. It's disconcerting as always, but also special, because he shares in the ignorance and devotion wrapped into singing words he wouldn't understand without the book's translation on the opposite page.

The Mi Shebeirach and the Mourner's Kiddish are Steve's sign that service is almost over. And for the first time in forever, Steve doesn't speak any names when Rabbi Sara calls for them. He sinks back into his seat, an unfamiliar relief easing tension he didn't even know he had anymore. But it's true. Everyone is fine, and they've all healed, and Steve no longer has to say Max's name or Will's or Hopper's or Eddie's. He no longer has to dodge questions or call up the Rabbi and ask her to include an extra name in the service.

And this realization, the sheer relief he feels at the simple act of staying quiet when Rabbi Sara's gaze sweeps past him, is almost enough to bring him to tears. His throat gets tight, his eyes burn, and his voice almost cracks when he joins the rest of the congregation in singing for those in need of healing and those who have passed.

Eddie nudges him gently, and Steve glances at him and then at their shared armrest. Eddie's hand is lying palm-up, a silent invitation, and Steve doesn't hesitate to accept. He slips his hand into Eddie's, interlocking their fingers, and feels infinitely better when Eddie squeezes his hand gently.

----

"So," Steve says, refraining from getting up as others file out of the sanctuary, practically tripping over kids racing to reach the oneg brownies first, "did you...like it?"

Eddie is silent for a few minutes, staring down at their hands. Steve almost pulls away, an apology ready on his tongue, when Eddie squeezes his hand tighter. "Yeah. It was...different. But good. I...there was more singing than I expected."

Steve grins, glancing up to see the sanctuary has mostly cleared, and stands. He pulls Eddie up with him. "Yeah, we sing most of our prayers. It's nice."

"It is," Eddie agrees, still looking a little lost for words.

Steve doesn't push. Instead, he pulls, leading Eddie out of the sanctuary. He gives their prayer books to Sam, grabs two tiny, sample-sized cups of Manischewitz wine, and gives one to Eddie. "Don't drink it yet," he says, nodding to where Rabbi Sara has her own cup and is waiting for the rest to be passed around.

Once everyone is ready, she blesses the wine, blesses the challah, and invites them all to drink and eat. Steve braces himself before knocking the wine back, the strong, warm grape flavor coating his tongue, vaguely reminiscent of cough medicine. He sees the same grimace on Eddie's face. "This is shit wine," Eddie whispers, his nose still scrunched as he tosses the cup into the trashcan like he can't get rid of it fast enough.

"Yeah. It's specifically for services," Steve says, "it's not supposed to be good."

"Right," Eddie mumbles, glancing at the oneg table, his eyes lingering on the desserts laid out. "Do you wanna stick around? You know, talk to people?"

Usually, Steve would. He likes catching up with the kids and teens, likes ganging up on them when their parents come around and playfully scold them, and he likes hearing the most recent temple gossip. But as he looks at Eddie, feels their hands still tightly holding onto each other, Steve finds he doesn't mind leaving early.

So, he leans in closer to Eddie and grins at him. "Or," he whispers, "we could steal an extra pack of brownies from the kitchen, sneak out the back, and eat them on the drive home."

Eddie returns the grin, amusement and eagerness practically dancing in his eyes, and says, "You read my mind, sweetheart."

Later, when Eddie pulls into Steve's driveway after an hour-long ride spent eating brownies, explaining different prayers, and telling him about old temple gossip, a different kind of tension will start to fester between them. Steve will delay getting out of the car, Eddie won't comment on it, and they'll slowly gravitate toward each other.

And they'll kiss. It will be awkward and taste like chocolate and end far too quickly, but it will be perfect.

Steve will pull away, a faint blush rising and his heart racing faster than it ever did with Nancy, and shyly offer to let Eddie spend the night. And Eddie will accept and spend the night and ask to attend Shabbat with Steve again and...

And so much more.

But for now, while he has no clue of the future that's about to start after an hour's drive, Steve glances around the crowded hall and pulls Eddie toward the kitchen.

After all, they've got brownies to steal.

#steddie #steddie fic #steve harrington #eddie munson #jewish steve harrington #stranger things #stranger things fic #my writing #this is so fucking self indulgent guys

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brbsoulnomming · 1 year ago

Text

Tell Me Sweet Little Lies Part 16

-----

Eddie wakes up screaming.

He doesn't even remember the nightmare he must have had, just the overwhelming feeling of terror mixed all in with aching grief. He closes his eyes and he can taste lake water, hear the echo of Patrick McKinney's screams and the crunch of breaking bones like they're right there in the room with him. He opens his eyes and he sees Chrissy smiling at him, sitting at that picnic table looking so scared that he couldn't do anything other than try to make her laugh, try to make her feel a little less alone. He told her that he'd help her and then he left her, and she died just as scared and alone as she thought she'd been when she came to him for help, all by herself in a stranger's living room, with only a boy who'd rather run and hide than stay by her side.

Part of him is aware that his breath is coming in huge, hiccuping sobs, can feel the pain from the way it aggravates his injuries, knows he must be crying because his pillows are wet, but he can't break himself out of it, can't - he breathes, deep and gasping, picks up the smell of Steve's shampoo. Remembers how Steve had helped him breathe last night and tries to replicate it in his head.

It doesn't work nearly as well.

Steve finds him like that, huddled in bed and folded in on himself as much as he can manage, head between his knees as he trembles and pants. At least he isn't fucking crying anymore, but he still hadn't heard any sign that Steve'd gotten back, and when he finally does manage to look up at him, the concern in Steve's eyes tells him he'd probably said his name more than once.

Eddie doesn't mean to, but he flinches when Steve reaches out, and then he has to bite off a noise of protest when Steve steps back.

Steve stays frozen where he is, his expression unreadable. "What is it?"

Eddie laughs at him. It comes out sharp and hysterical and fuck, he knows it's only because it's either laugh or break into sobs again. Jesus Christ, what isn't it? There's a creeping, poisonous feeling roiling low in his gut that he can't quite name, that he's too afraid to look closely at, like fucking everything he does these days, apparently.

"Did something new happen?" Steve asks, apparently changing tactics.

It works well enough for Eddie to shake his head, though that doesn't make him feel any better.

"Okay," Steve says, letting out a rush of air, and Eddie only realizes that Steve'd been holding so much tension when he watches most of it drain out of him.

Then Steve sits on the edge of the bed, seemingly more steady now that he knows some new kind of horror hadn't gotten to Eddie while he was gone - that Eddie's only freaking out again over the old horrors, the ones that are yesterday's news now that they're a few days old, and fuck, how does he live like this?

How is Steve so calm? How has he been so calm, how did he watch someone get lifted up into the air and almost die, how did he get nearly drowned and bitten to hell and march barefoot through hell and go back into hell and drag Eddie out of it and stay so fucking calm and collected and confident? The whole damn time, Eddie never once saw him break, not even when Eddie had a broken bottle against his neck and was questioning his own sanity enough that he might have actually used it, not even when it was all over and they were in the hospital.

Shit, Eddie knows what's flooding through his veins. Steve's steady hands and soothing voice might have been a comfort every time before, but now it just makes him furious - makes him wonder what the fuck is wrong with Eddie that he's reacting like this when Steve fucking Harrington has been as strong and sure as any hero Eddie's ever read about.

"How can you just be like this?" Eddie asks, and he can hear the despair in his own voice.

He guesses Steve can, too, because he opens his mouth, and Eddie snaps.

"Don't," he says. "Shut up, okay, just don't, don't say anything, don't answer me when I'm not done."

Steve's jaw shuts with a click, and Eddie almost wants to look away from him, but fuck he's all fired up now, and he feels like if he doesn't get this out he's going to explode.

"I knew who I was before this," Eddie says angrily. "I'm the freak, okay, I'm loud and obnoxious and I'm scary and I could always back it up if someone tried to mess with me or my flock. Then this happens, this shit that should be right up my alley, and I fucking run! And don't tell me how you ran too, all right, because you ran for about fifteen seconds before you turned right back around to save your girl and the guy who punched you in the face, and I ran and hid for days like a rat. And I ran again and again, and the one time I didn't run I almost died, and now I realize that all those other times I thought I had it in me to do what it takes were a giant, steaming pile of crap. How do you just - how am I supposed to come back from that, man? How am I supposed to just keep going on?"

There's a long, long silence, and then Steve raises a pointed eyebrow at him.

"I'm done," Eddie says belatedly. "Yeah, I'm done, I'd like an answer to that."

God, he'd like a fucking answer to that.

"You aren't," Steve says quietly. "You aren't supposed to come back from that. I don't think any of us really have, not the same as we were before."

"Fuck," Eddie swears, mostly just to swear, because he knows Steve is right. It makes him deflate, the anger draining out of him and leaving a bone deep exhaustion. Still, he asks, "Can I get a different answer?"

Steve quirks a little smile. "All right, I got a couple of them. First - it was way longer than fifteen seconds. I'm pretty sure I stood there surrounded by Christmas lights shouting this is crazy for at least a solid thirty, and that was before the physical running."

Despite himself, Eddie barks out a little laugh, wincing as it pulls at his stitches. "Fuck you, dude, don't make me laugh."

The look he gets is entirely unapologetic. "Second - you're right. We can't really compare yours to mine. Eddie - my first brush with this was a demogorgon crawling out of the walls of the Byers house. Yeah, it was terrifying, and it haunted my dreams for a little bit, but it was still just one monster that I could whale on with my bat. You got hit with clock obsessed evil wizard who kills people with his mind right off the bat. That's like taking an all star little leaguer and dropping him right into the World Series, man, and you still held your own."

Eddie groans. "Again, with the sports metaphors?"

"Yup," Steve replies, shooting him another look. "Isn't it annoying when someone gives what's probably a really apt metaphor for the situation that people who aren't up to date on a specific terminology can barely understand?"

Eddie's brows narrow, but mostly to hide his snort of amusement. "I feel like I'm unfairly getting the brunt of a bunch of decisions made by a bunch of freshmen."

"Look, my point is that this is the kind of shit that no one expects to happen to them, ever. And you're not going to come back from that the same guy that you were before it. You're going to have to look at yourself in a different light, and there's going to be some things that you'll see that you won't like. But the great thing is - shit, man, you get to change them. You get to look at yourself and go no, I don't want that to be who I am, and I'm not going to let it. And yeah - the people that you couldn't save before you changed are going to haunt you. Maybe you'll always feel responsible. But the best thing is, you've got people on your side to remind you that you don't have to do any of it alone."

It's not a surprise that Steve sounds like he's talking from experience. It is a surprise that it makes Eddie feel… better. Makes him feel like he's not the only one who's freaking out about this, like someone else has not only gone through the same thing, but felt something similar.

"For the record," Steve says, very quietly, like he's not quite sure how to say this or where he's going with it. "It wasn't facing down the demobats that made you brave. It wasn't - redemption, or whatever, all right?"

Eddie feels caught out, like Steve's looked too closely at him and seen what he usually keeps all wrapped up and safe, like he knows the kind of stories that Eddie tells himself about the world, and the place he's thought he occupied in it this last week. "No? Then what was my redemption?"

"You didn't have one," Steve replies, and fuck, ouch. Steve must read something in his face, because he hurries to add, "You didn't need one. Every time you ran, you did exactly what you should have done, and when it came down to it you went with us to Mordor without hesitation. None of us ever thought you were a coward, man, you had nothing to prove to us."

"I did," is what comes out of his mouth, and he didn't realize until he said it that it's true, that he knows what he needs to tell Steve. "Look, I - I know in the grand scheme of all of this, high school doesn't really feel like it matters all that much anymore, but I was still a jerk. The way I treated Lucas wasn't all that different from what I've always said I was protecting those guys from, you know? Tearing him down, excluding him because he liked something we didn't think was cool. Took a murder rep and almost getting eaten to realize it, but, you know, I got there. I'm getting there."

Steve's looking at him like he's proud of him again, even after his little outburst, and it hits him even harder this time around. "You apologize to him?"

Eddie opens his mouth to say that he had, then closes it, frowning. "Uh. I mean, I told him I should have moved Hellfire and it wasn't okay the way I treated him? I'm not actually sure the sorry part made it out. But I will!"

Steve makes some kind of gesture that Eddie's going to interpret to mean there you go, but he doesn't say anything.

"Sorry," Eddie mutters, fingers twisting in the sheets. "For snapping at you."

Steve tips his head in acknowledgement. Doesn't say it's okay, doesn't say it isn't okay, just holds Eddie's gaze for a moment before he moves on.

Eddie is sharply, ridiculously grateful.

"I told the others they couldn't come over yet," Steve says. "They're probably going to invade tomorrow, though."

Eddie pulls in a breath and lets it out, slow and shaky, and very carefully unfolds himself more, stretching out his legs and letting his arms fall to his side. "Yeah. That's fine, I can get it together by tomorrow."

Steve's looking at him with these big, sad eyes, something like resignation in them.

"What?" Eddie asks.

"That's how I do it," Steve says. "When all this is going on - I just get it together, because I have to."

"What about when it's not going on?" He hadn't meant to ask that, he doesn't think, but it just slips out.

"Kind of feels like it's always going on," Steve says with a rueful little quirk to his smile, then shrugs. "I don't know, man, I'll get back to you when I've figured that out. But as far as I'm concerned, there's no wrong way to try to handle all this, all right?"

Eddie thinks about that for a moment. Then, "Who couldn't you save that you feel responsible for?"

He's not sure what possessed him to ask - maybe because he wants to give Steve the opportunity to be comforted over something the way Steve did for Eddie, maybe because he's too fucking curious for his own good, maybe because he selfishly wants to know how much from his own experience Steve was talking about. Still, he watches Steve closely, ready to back off if the question makes him shut down.

It doesn't. If anything, Steve looks like he was kind of expecting that.

"Barbara Holland."

Eddie frowns. "The girl that was killed by a chemical leak from Hawkins Lab? Nancy's friend?"

"Wasn't a chemical leak." Steve pushes his fingers through his hair. "It was a demogorgon, the very first one. Nancy and Tommy and Carol and Barb were all over at my house, and we were drinking and horsing around and shit. Barb cut her hand trying to shotgun a beer. Nance told her that she should head home, that Nancy was going to stay over. We all thought Barb left, but… she didn't. While we were all inside, the demogorgon grabbed her from my backyard, dragged her off to who knows where."

"Goddamn. That was, what, 1983?"

Steve hums an affirmative. "November 83, yeah."

All the way back then, and Eddie didn't have any idea this was going on. "How'd you know it was from your backyard?"

"Jonathan was out in the woods looking for Will, and he snapped some pictures of all of us. He caught Barb sitting alone at the pool, bleeding, with the demogorgon coming out of the woods behind her."

Eddie's brows slam down before he can help it. "Wait, that actually happened? I mean, everyone heard the rumor that Jonathan was a perv, lurking in people's yards and taking pictures through their windows, I just kind of figured it was exaggerated."

Steve gives a little laugh, short and humorless. "It was exaggerated. I don't think he did it again, but, yeah. Nicole caught him developing the pictures at the school. A couple of them were of Nancy getting undressed when she and I were in my bedroom. Nancy forgave him, though, said it ended up being a good thing considering what they found out because of it."

Eddie - doesn't really know what to think about that. "What about you?"

Steve wrinkles his nose. "I called him a perv and broke his camera."

Eddie's eyebrows shoot up. "You broke his camera?"

"I told you I really was a douchebag." Steve glances away from him, and Eddie can see the line of his jaw tighten a little. "I felt bad about it after everything, got him a new one."

"No, I meant - did you forgive him?"

Steve looks back at him, brows furrowed like he wasn't expecting that question.

Eddie's stomach clenches a little. "Steve," he says softly. "Has no one asked you that before?"

Steve's frowning still, and for a moment Eddie thinks he won't answer, then he says, "I haven't really talked about it with anyone who didn't already know about it. It's not - it's not like I have anything to forgive, you know? Nancy was the one undressing in the picture."

"Sure," Eddie agrees, biting his lip for a moment as he tries to decide if he wants to let this drop or to keep going. "But - it was your house, Steve. Your window, your bedroom. You were there, too."

Steve's quiet for a very long moment.

"It's not-" Eddie starts, then stops, considering. "You didn't ask to have someone take pictures of you like that. It doesn't make it okay just because you're both guys."

"No, that's not-" Steve stops, too, and Eddie wonders if as he said it, he realized that he was thinking something like that. "I guess I've just never really thought about it like that before. I was pissed because of Nancy, and when she let it go, I kind of figured I should, too."

"And now?" Eddie prompts.

Steve shrugs. "I still don't know. I'll talk to Robin about it, I guess." There's a pause, and then he freezes, seeming to realize what he just said. "Uh, not that-"

"Dude, it's fine," Eddie cuts him off with a laugh. "I'm not offended that you'd rather process that with someone you've known a little longer."

Steve shoots him a grateful little smile. "I'm going to go down and make dinner," he says. "You wanna come with?"

Eddie considers that for a moment. He's not sure he wants to be alone again, but - he's more sure he doesn't feel up for tackling the stairs, not even with Steve's help.

Especially with Steve's help. He needs a breather away from being pressed all close to him, particularly since he knows he's going to have to ask Steve to stay in the room with him again tonight.

He shakes his head. "I'm good up here. Just, uh. Leave the door open?"

Steve leaves the door open, and a couple of minutes after he goes downstairs, Eddie can hear music playing. Queen. It makes Eddie smile, makes him wonder if he'd normally put music on while he was cooking or if he'd done it specifically for Eddie. Either way, it makes something fond and warm settle in his chest.

Damn, Eddie's got it bad. He should be embarrassed, should be feeling too vulnerable and caught out after all of that, but he doesn't. He feels…

Safe. It's fucking with his head, so he tries not to focus on it too much.

Dinner is tomato soup and mac and cheese, split between them as they sit across from each other on the bed. Eddie eats half of each of his and then mixes them together, just to get Steve to make faces at him as he happily digs in.

"It's just like dunking grilled cheese into tomato soup, Steve!" he insists.

"Grilled cheese has a crunch that makes sense, that's just mush on top of mush," Steve replies, pointing his spoon at him as if for emphasis.

He can't get Steve to try it, but it doesn't really matter. After everything, it feels good just to mess around like this.

Steve clears their dishes away when they're done, then comes back and says, "All right, let's go."

Eddie raises an eyebrow. "We're going where, exactly?"

"My room," Steve replies. "If we're sticking together again tonight, my bed's a lot better and it has my bat within reach."

For a moment, Eddie considers teasing him about calling it sticking together instead of what it is, but decides against it. For one, the first thing that'd came to his mind is to say what, trying to avoid making it sound like you're inviting Eddie The Freak Munson into your bed? which sounds perfectly light and teasing in his head, but would probably come out a little too serious, and he doesn't actually want an answer to that. For another, well. It just reminds him that sticking together is what it is.

Despite how chill Steve'd been this morning with Mike's reaction, despite that Eddie still can't seem to completely smash his hopes down, he knows what this is. The only reason that Steve Harrington slept in the same bed with him last night is because they're both beat to hell and can't sleep without someone there who understands what they've been through, and the only reason Steve's inviting him into his bed now is to try to ward off nightmares, or at least make any that crop up a little easier to deal with.

He hasn't even gotten up the courage yet to tell Steve that he thinks they might be soulmates, he can't let himself get too lost in believing it might be romantic.

So he just says, "Lead the way to your chambers, then, your Majesty."

Steve rolls his eyes at him, helps him out of bed and stays by his side as they head down the hall. Eddie only needs to lean on him a little, which makes him feel pretty damn good, and he's even up for heading into Steve's bathroom to get ready for bed first. There's a brand new toothbrush there, still in its packaging, and Eddie assumes it's for him, so he adds brushing his teeth to the list of activities he can manage on his own now.

They swap when Eddie's done, and he climbs into Steve's bed without waiting for him - mostly because he doesn't want to overexert himself, and because he knows which side of the bed Steve prefers to sleep on now, which. Is definitely not helping his hopes stay shoved down where they should be.

Steve leaves the bathroom door open a crack, just enough that he can hear him bustling around in there, can hear him humming to himself. It's pretty - Eddie can't place whatever it is, but Steve sounds good.

He shuts off the overhead light when he comes out of the bathroom, but leaves a lamp on.

"Sounds nice." Eddie yawns. "Didn't know you could sing."

"Humming isn't singing," Steve counters, but he gives him a soft little smile as he climbs into his side of the bed.

"What song is it?" Eddie asks, and feels his heart kick up a little when Steve scrunches his nose.

"You're gonna make fun of me."

"I won't!" Eddie insists.

Steve scratches his nose. "It's a kid's song, I think it's based on a poem. I learned it from Robin, and I'd sing it sometimes when they couldn't sleep after Starcourt."

Eddie should probably let it go so they can both get some sleep, but he's so eager to learn more about this world that was going on right under his nose that he can't help but ask, "After Starcourt?"

Steve hums an affirmative. "Remember I said it wasn't my first time having someone stay over in the aftermath? We usually check on each other for a while. That first time, it was mostly me and Nance, and we'd check in on Jonathan sometimes. She made me talk to Mike a few times."

Oh, shit. Eddie practically vibrates with the urge to pounce on that with all the glee of a cat distracted by a laser pointer, but - no, no, he has to stay strong, he -

"How'd that work out for you?"

Damn it.

Steve snorts. "He was barely twelve, so not all that bad. It was when we all thought El was still gone, and he just - he really missed her, and Nancy didn't know how to talk to him. I told her to ask him how Will was doing. Mike's a little asshole, but he cares so much about his friends, you know? Asking about Will meant she wasn't asking him about his feelings, she was asking about his friend. She made me come with her, and it kind of worked. I dunno. We talked about what they might be feeling, what they used to do for fun, and how they should get back to it. Nancy reminded him how much they loved that game you guys are all obsessed with, so they started playing again."

Eddie looks up at him, remembering looking up at Steve Harrington in the comic and games shop, watching him try to figure out what to get Will Byers for a going away present, and thinking about what a jackass he was.

God, Eddie's never been more glad to have been so wrong.

Steve still takes the silence as a cue to keep going, though, and he runs his fingers through his hair. "The second time, Dustin just showed up at my house, and the rest of the little shitheads followed pretty quick. They had movie nights and invaded my pool and ate everything in my kitchen, and sometimes they'd sleep over. Dustin was here more often than he wasn't for a while."

Eddie tilts his head, glad to be back on more even ground. "What'd you guys even do?"

Steve shrugs one shoulder. "I dunno, stuff. I drove Dustin to his first school dance, helped him get ready, watched Star Wars, talked about girls and his science camp and my job searching. He was away at camp when I started working at Scoops, but I used the back entrance to get the rest of them into the movies. Lucas and I played ball, Max'd come over and we'd make dinner sometimes."

"You really are friends with them." It's soft and awed, but Eddie knows the moment it comes out that it doesn't sound like he meant it to. "I mean - being the babysitter and the paladin's one thing. It's obvious that you step up when shit's going down and they need you. But you're still there, even when the world's not ending."

Steve smiles at him, a little pleased, a little surprised. "I try, anyway. Hit or miss on it now that they're all in high school." Another shrug. "Anyway, it - after Starcourt, Robin and Dustin and Erica and I were in pretty close touch for a bit. Robin stayed over most nights, and Dustin when he could, and Erica'd say she was fine but she'd walkie us a lot, 'specially the first week or two. I got in the habit of singing it for them, and it seemed to work."

Eddie just watches him. He doesn't have nearly enough mental power to try to process the way Steve keeps getting to him, digging his way deeper and deeper under his skin - barely has enough to acknowledge the want that lingers on his tongue, sharp and bittersweet. They've built a family, this little rag-tag party, and Eddie wants to keep being folded into it so bad he can taste it - just as much as the very thought scares the shit out of him.

"Will you sing it for me?"

"You will a hundred percent make fun of me," Steve protests, but it isn't a no.

"I won't," Eddie promises softly.

Steve sighs, the same way Eddie's heard him do right before he gives into one of the others, and Eddie can't stop his wide smile.

"Close your eyes, at least," Steve insists, and Eddie obeys.

There's a few moments of silence, as if Steve is hyping himself up, and then his humming starts again.

"Lavender blue, dilly dilly, lavender green," Steve croons softly.

The absurdity of the situation hits him hard - he's in Steve Harrington's bed, while the man himself sings him a lullaby about lavender that includes the words dilly dilly. He manages not to let out a slightly hysterical giggle, but his face must do something, because Steve's singing cuts off.

"See?" Steve demands.

"I'm not!" Eddie protests. He lets his hand move, fingertips just barely pressing against Steve's arm. "I'm not, I promise. Please?"

There's a moment of silence, and Eddie struggles to keep his eyes closed and wait patiently, but then Steve starts humming again. It goes on a little longer this time, like he's either skipping past some things or making sure Eddie's face isn't going to do whatever it was doing before, but then he starts singing again.

"I told myself, dilly dilly, I told me so."

There's more lyrics, but Eddie stops paying attention to them, feeling himself relax more and more. It's not about the words, really, it's - it's about the melody, the repetitive flow. It's Steve's voice, lovely and soft, it's knowing someone's with you, someone who's been through the same things you have, someone who cares. After everything, knowing you're not alone.

"Let the birds sing, dilly dilly, and the lambs play," Steve sings, as Eddie's limbs grow heavy and sleep hovers so closely he could almost melt into it. "We shall be safe, dilly dilly, out of harm's way."

It's not about the words.

"Lavender's green, dilly dilly, lavender's blue. If you love me, dilly dilly, I will love you."

God, Eddie is so fucked.

The bit about Nancy making Steve talk to Mike after season one is from one of the Stranger Things free comic book day issues, because I saw it and immediately loved its dorkiness. The song/nursery rhyme Steve is referencing is this, for anyone curious!

-----

Part 17

I've got the next two parts mostly written up, and we'll be diving into the start of the soulmate reveals.

Tag list (always happy to add more, even if I'm still figuring these out!): @vampireinthesun @koibug @estrellami-1 @mentalcyborg @allbimyself26 @questionablequeeries @the-s-is-silent @whimsicalwitchm @a-gae-af-racoon @tinyplanet95 @n0-1-important @velocitytimes2 @swimmingbirdrunningrock @newtstabber @jcmadgirl @roblingoblin285 @lexyvey @paperbackribs @goodolefashionedloverboi @evix-syne666 @raisedbylibrarians @stxrcrossed186 @nightmareglitter @greekgeek24 @starman-jpg @crazyhatlady86 @imfinereallyy @manda-panda-monium @deleataecount @prideandsensibility @chaoticvictorianspirit @maydillydally @disrespectedgoatman @scarlet-malfoy @i-less-than-three-you @hbyrde36 @hallucinatedjosten @dragonsandgayships @arepaconchocolate @g4ys0n @novelnovella @bisexualdisastersworld @ghostofyourvampiregf @scarletyeager @pettrichore @nerd-and-nervous @hiimlevi @queenie-ofthe-void @cinnamon-mushroomabomination

#steddie #eddie munson #steve harrington #steddie fic #steddie soulmate au #soulmate au #stranger things fic #stranger things #one day eddie will stop comparing himself to the group thats been doing this for years #but today is not that day #i have a lot of feelings about eddie's line where he says 'that's what ive discovered about myself this week i run'#and how he has to reconcile it with his understanding of himself #eddie you are not a coward

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iaminfourthwing · 8 months ago

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The Generals Daughter

Chapter III

The sun is up when we stand in formation the next day while Captain Fitzgibbons reads from the death roll. The courtyard is hollowed in almost deadly silence.

We’re all in our assigned uniforms for first years with our patches added and while some of us look like they got a decent amount of sleep last night, I didn`t and I feel like I am ready to be send to Malek. But my mind was running on high speed and I was way too paranoid to sleep, ready for the (mostly im)possible scenario someone might try to pull some shit at night, even though it would be against the Codex. Violet next to me looks like she struggles but is keeping her head high. She is strong which makes me proud.

“We command their souls to Malek.” Oh, we were at the end already.

“Hopefully you all ate breakfast, because you`re not going to get another chance before lunch” Dain says, “and I hope at least one of you first years has the academic schedule remembered.”

“And if we’re not?” someone behind us says. Is he dumb?

“Then I don`t have to be concerned with forgetting your name” Aetos shrugs. Well.

“Sawyer” he looks to the left at a first year. Ah, Sawyer Henrick, the freckled guy that repeats the first year because he didn`t bond during Threshing last year. It takes some balls to do this shit again, he has my full respect.

“I`ll get them there” he answers and turns to the nine of us first years. “Fourth floor, second room on the left in the academic wing. Get your shit and don`t be fucking late” he shouts and heads off to the dormitory.

“This must be shit, doing this again” Rhiannon states.

“Better than being dead” the guy from before claims as he walks on my right side. I think his name is Ridoc but I am not sure. I look around, not saying anything and make my way to the dorms, not noticing that Violet isn't by my side anymore. In her place walks Rhiannon. “Where-“ “Dain” she says before I can ask. Damn Aetos, so much for being subtle.

We`re off to grab our (and Violets) stuff and head over to the academic wing for history, which is going to be boring for both Violet and myself. Violet was trained to be a scribe, so she knows it all, and I had to study everything anyways, order from my father.

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

“Welcome to your first Battle Brief” Professor Devera greets us. This will be the only class we`ll have every day.

She takes her time to scan the rows of first years, looking at every cadet she sees, while the second and third years are scattered behind us.

At first, she makes eye contact with Violet next to me and gives her a small smile and nod but when her eyes find mine, she tenses and stops. For around three second it`s quiet, then she nods and continues. Rolling my eyes, I look to the left at Violet, seeing a concerned frown adorning her face. I send her a reassuring smile and turn back to the front where Professor Markham stands. He looks at Violet with disappointment, not because of her personally but the lost chances with that great brain of hers. She would have been an excellent scribe.

His gaze sways over to my side and just like with Panchek, his face pales instantly and fear strikes his facial features, not because of me but the one I share my last name with. Letting out a frustrated sigh I switch my focus on my quill, distracting myself before I start to scream out of annoyance. For fucks sake, I am NOT my father. Why is everyone acting like he rules the fucking continent?

“First topic of the day,” Devera moves to the map “the Eastern Wing experienced an attack last night near the village of Chakir by a drift of Braevi gryphons and their riders.” Oh damn. I sit straighter and focus on the map. Good thing when you have an excellent working memory – you can focus more on the front, less on your notes.

She gives further information and I take it all in. It’s bad enough that dragons aren`t the only animals capable of channeling powers to their riders. But the dragons are the only ones of powering the wards that makes other power impossible within these wards. They make sure we aren`t fucked up by the gryphons and their riders.

“…What questions would you ask? Only answers from first years for the start.”

Okay first of all, why the fuck are the wards faltering and more importantly what caused them to falter in such an unlikely place? They would never answer that question because none of us is authorized in that matter.

The second question would be, why they would choose this place for an attack? The Esben Mountain Range is the highest on the eastern border and the gryphons don`t go really well with altitudes like this. Furrowing my eyebrows, I try to find a pattern in the latest attacks. It doesn`t make any sense. But maybe … maybe they were searching for something.

“Did you want to ask a question?” Devera asks Pryor, a first year in our squad, who doesn`t really knows if he should raise his hand or not.

“Yes” he nods. Then – “No. Never mind.”

“So decisive” Luca, another first year from our squad, mocks him. Aurelie tries to ease the tension but Luca is not done with her teasing.

“No dragon is bonding to a guy who can`t even decide if he wants to ask a question. And have you seen –“ I scoff loudly, rolling my eyes at her demeanor to finally bring an end to this shit, which makes her turn around in her seat a row in front of me. If some of them are already kind of terrified with my face here, why not use it?

Her eyes meet mine and she realizes who interrupted her. She quickly turns back to the map without saying anything anymore.

I hear Violet and Rhiannon whisper to each other but don`t understand anything.

“What altitude is the village at?” Rhiannon finally asks. Oh, that`s a good question, matches with mine I had in my head. It`s Professor Markham who answers, surprised by it. “A little less than ten thousand feet, why?”

“It seems a little high for an attack with gryphons.” Good safe, because now I just realized that the question came from Violet. Smartass.

“… to ask your own questions, Cadet Sorrengail.” Shit, I need to start listening and try not to zone out all the time. Seems like the girl next to me has now all the attention on her. Great job, Vi.

Violet goes on about how this altitude is way too high for gryphons and their ability to channel. Looks like a thought crosses her genius brain as her next question is based on Devera’s information that the squad of riders took an hour to arrive.

“Then they were already on their way” she says. And while I can see what she is talking about – the rest of the first years decide to judge instead of thinking, some of them start to laugh.

“Yeah, because that makes sense” a blonde guy turns around in his seat to laugh directly in her face. Jack fucking Barlowe, the asshole that threw a candidate down the Parapet tried to kill Violet and still has it out for her.

“General Melgren knows the outcome of a battle before it happens, but even he doesn`t know when it will happen, dumbass. Am I right, Melgren Junior?” His eyes find mine when an evil smirk finds its way onto his face. Don`t fucking tempt me, asshole. I am not interested in a conversation with you.

My lack of response seems to annoy him because he tries it again. “I said, am I righ-“

“There is no need to repeat yourself. I ignored you just fine the first time.”

Stunned silence from Barlowe, startled gasps from other cadets, choked laughter from Ridoc. “Oh shit, that was good, Arya!” he laughs next to me and clasps his hand on my shoulder. Yeah no, I don`t think so Ridoc. I should try to keep my mouth shut with that one before I'll regret it.

Violet ignores my remark and continues with her theory and it seems like she is right, because Devera and Markham both look proud and with a knowing smile on their face. “Because they somehow knew the wards were breaking” she finishes.

“That`s the most-“Jack argues. Does he ever know when to stop?! “She`s right.” HA! I have a proud grin on my face, I love her brain!

“Cadet Melgren” I am called by Devera. Startled I raise my head, brow hitting my hairline.

“What would you ask in aspect of the attack?” she asks me. For a moment I study the map again, trying to sort my thoughts.

“What were they looking for and most importantly, did they find it?”

A slow smile spreads over Deveras face and even Markham looks intrigued by my question. “What makes you think they were out looking for something?”

“Well, it just makes sense they searched for something. Like Cadet Sorrengail said, the attack took action at the most illogical place for a drift of gryphons.” I pause, bringing my thoughts into formation. “The wards failing was not a coincidence and even though it seems like they were just passing by, they weren`t. They somehow knew the wards would falter in that specific moment. But whatever they were looking for, it must have been really important if they risk their drift to attack this high up in the mountains.” I finish.

I can hear Ridoc next to me cheering quietly in his seat. And while the first and some of the second years don’t think that far yet, I am pretty sure some of the third years had a similar question in mind, because I hear approving whispers behind me. Years of learning and studying are finally paying off.

“Just like your father. Always thinking ahead and seeing the important aspects. Good job, Melgren.” Everyone else would see it as a compliment but …

I hate it, with all my heart, because I desperately want to be everything but like my father. Violet takes my hand, knowing how much I hate to be compared to the General.

#fourth wing #fourth wing x reader #iron flame #bodhi durran #xaden riorson #bodhi durran x oc #bodhi durran x reader #fourth wing by rebecca yarros #rebecca yarros #booktok #violet sorrengail

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chronicsyd · 4 months ago

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yea, we ALL know why I'M here at this point (like most people i waited All Night for this thing) but Enough Yapping, let's do this! (go watch it first, I'll be doing an Excessive deep dive of this thing (I also had a couple of drafts I've made in the last 48 hours talking about certain worries I've seen from the fandom about season 2, but decided to lay off posting about it until the trailer came out so I'll be addressing some of those in a later post as well), and as always, leakers will be blocked and deleted).

SO, with All That outta the way, let's get into it: Firstly, i was left Completely Speechless by this whole thing like HOLY SHIT! i don't even know What to SAY! Yes we've had a few repeat scenes from the old teaser and clips but obviously the new stuff's what I'm more interested in.

The trailer opens up with Vi admitting to Caitlyn that she was right and saying "My sister is gone. there's only Jinx now." which is something that I've been speculating about since June (well the "there's only Jinx and Jinx is the one that needs to be stopped" thing), so we've already had a clear cut path where Vi is concerned. BUT what interests me is that first part of the conversation is still part of when she's talking to her in her Enforcer Uniform, so her head's probably telling her that stopping Jinx is the right thing to do here after what happened with the Council.

I also don't think I've mentioned this in a post, but I've also had speculation that the person in the hood from the teaser was Jinx not Viktor (just things like how the shoulder width didn't seem to match him but the one second clip we got of him i wasn't able to cross-reference all that well, also the monkey painting in the background added to that factor) but it seems like the show is reenforcing that this is Jinx here.

I've also somehow underestimated just HOW unhinged Caitlyn's going to be this season. like "I want to tear that laugh from her throat forever." is a Crazy line like Jesus Cait!

But what sticks out to me about this scene is not only the fact that Vi's very clearly crying here, you can tell not only by the length of her hair but the fact that the black seems to be somewhat fading means that she spends quite a bit of time hiding out in Zaun (downright Confirming about my thoughts of a timeskip from my last post). Now of course we don't have the context about what she's crying about but it seems like she's just overall frustrated about her situation. But another thing that actually pops up later in the trailer is that Vi actually still has her hair like this,

which means that I actually might be wrong about Vi being in Zaun before she's even in her Enforcer getup with Caitlyn. it seems to me that this whole thing with Vi wearing black actually happens after she fights against Jinx in the temple, perhaps thinking that being an Enforcer and in Piltover with Caitlyn isn't the right choice for her and tries to go about life her own way for a while (which is probably the thing we're "going to hate" when it comes to Caitvi).

Now, the next part of the trailer is what they already showed us with Caitlyn and Jinx talking to Ambessa and Sevika so i don't need to go over that again. However right after that, Sevika asks Jinx what she's planning.

Jinx's response? "to watch it all burn". Whether or not if Piltover recovers from Fishbones doesn't seem to matter to her, she wants everything to burn to the ground. But just a side note the way she's looking at the match in this frame very clearly reminds her of Silco, and still going by the streaked makeup, it's still a fresh wound for her.

now, this frame?

I don't actually have any solid answers for. by the look in Vi's eyes, I'm presuming she's reaching out to either Jinx, Caitlyn, or Ekko. She's not wearing her Enforcer getup here (at least it doesn't look like what she's been wearing) and i can't solidly place the background, there isn't any familiar landmarks sticking out to me. But Vi's hair and bandages make me think that this is probably when she's just starting to come out of hiding here.

There seems to be a bunch of Undercity riots happening against Piltover, which i think is a factor where Ambessa tells Caitlyn that "in order to restore peace you have to enact Martial Law". I could be wrong about this but honestly i don't think I am.

Warwick looks just as fantastic as ever, but they haven't really given us any clear cut answers on how they're planning to utilize him besides being a living weapon for Singed. Singed says "you felt it, haven't you?" but it's rather unclear who he's talking to here, i don't think he's talking to Warwick, i think he might actually be talking to Viktor and talking about the Hexcore and the Arcane and such because of Viktor's "glorious evolution" path.

Now to the part of the Trailer that COMPLETELY confuses me...

someone says "the Arcane is waking up", NO idea who's saying this or who it's being said TO, NO idea who These people are supposed to be, I just-- yea this is the only part of the trailer that I'm at a Complete loss for words. The Arcane is magic we all know that, it's what Jayce's whole thing has been about, mixing magic and technology together into Hextech. but this is implying that while Jayce was doing all this the Arcane itself was just... slumbering? i guess. like are these people going to turn out to be mages because of this or something? idk, see, endless list of questions but Absolutely no answers. let's just move on before my brain explodes trying to figure this out.

I skipped a few repeat scenes (like the ones of Caitlyn and the other enforcers against the Chemtanks because I've already talked about it), and put a pin on the Ekko scene i skipped I'm coming back to it.

SO, it turns out we were right in claiming that Jinx loses her middle finger with the art book cover, and I'm Pretty sure that Caitlyn actually shoots it off (which probably explains the "WTF CAITLYN?!" comment i was talking about with addressing the leaks). Also this is like, the Most psychotic I think I've ever seen Jinx like Jesus Christ do NOT leave me alone in a room with her!

Ekko says "sometimes taking a leap foward means leaving some things behind"; maybe he's talking about the past? I don't know who he's talking to here specifically, it may just be giving advice to Vi, seeing as we do see the two working together later in the trailer after Vi's hair is grown out.

Now, I'm going to go a wee bit out of order here for a moment, just because I'm saving something for last.

I was Completely right about Vi facing off against Warwick at some point (i was basically Screaming "Chekov's gun!" for months when Warwick was confirmed), But Vi's still in her Undercity getup here, so I don't know if she's recognizable to him at all here, if this has to do with the illegal fighting ring that she's doing, but the dust seems to kinda go against that, like it's not a "now for our main event!" smokey kinda entrance, if you catch my drift here.

I can't tell if this is supposed to be a flashback of Powder or not because the other person is extremely hard to place, like it looks kind of like Sevika's new hair it's just that the lighting is so dark you can't make out their face. and if its a flashback to the age that Powder was in the opening shot the clothes don't seem to match, like there are things that contradict each other that doesn't make the scene clear cut to me.

Now this frame basically confirms something I've had on my mind, I just never made a post about. and that was my concern that Caitlyn was going to get herself hurt by these Chemtanks. the reason for that being we only saw her going against these things with her rife (and not the Hextech one). Vi and Jayce could handle themselves back in episode 8 because they had the Hammer and Gauntlets, but every other Enforcer there with a rifle was Easily taken out. and Arcane doesn't really go about the "simple plot armor" route, so i saw this ending not very well for her, despite being a good marksman.

And of course we only get another ONE SECOND clip of Viktor to prove he's alive that doesn't even Show His Face! like we Know this is him, and the gem in his wrist seems to imply that he's already going down the "glorious evolution" path here.

I don't have anything to say about this other than i have NO idea what it's supposed to be and that its Freaky looking. Like it kinda reminds me of Silco for some reason, like i don't think its supposed to but that's where my heads leaning for some reason.

Now, does it seem like I've left something out? It's because I did.

What these shots in particular are telling me is that Ambessa actually turns on Caitlyn (because I claimed that earlier in the season Caitlyn actually allies herself with Ambessa and i still believe that to be true) and tries to take over Piltover, because in the shot of Ambessa she's clearly hitting Enforcers, not people of the Undercity, and Caitlyn and Vi are wearing matching outfits here (Vi also reminds me of the ironhulk from Infinity War with this thing) meaning that the two are still working together here, but there is one little thing that I did leave out talking about these shots.

I can totally see this being a chaotic fight between the Undercity, the Enforcers, and Noxus, because Jinx is clearly still in Piltover during this shot. Now Jinx says "then stop me." during this but its definitely a spliced line i don't think she's saying it during this scene and I do believe that she's probably talking to Vi here (and maybe my ears are playing tricks on me but it kinds sounds "echoey" so it's probably from the temple fight). but can we talk about the Purple in her hair now? like despite having a hood on, That's Badass!

Edit: NOPE! I lied, I have a couple more things to point out.

Caitlyn blows up Jinx in this shot, which if I'm right about Vi being an Enforcer before going underground this is gonna cause some Serious issues between the two (because despite saying "my sister is gone" I don't believe that Vi would want an attempt at her sisters life, another pointer in the "thing we're going to hate with Caitvi" oy-vey...). When I mentioned Caitlyn probably being the one shooting off Jinx's finger earlier, i didn't also think about that final shot of Caitlyn from the teaser being right before what happens here. Because we already knew that Caitlyn was apart of this fight, just didn't dawn how drastically this fight is probably going to turn out. Because the explosion is all glowey like that Because Caitlyn's using her Hextech rifle in this scene, and it functions more in the way Jayce's Hammer does than Vi's gauntlets do.

So I'm not exactly sure when this fight scene is taking place, I don't think it's the temple fight, despite what little i can gather from the background, it doesn't seem to quite match the temple, and i think Vi and Caitlyn are still alone during that specific fight (could be wrong but that's just what they've shown as of right now) and I'm seeing Vi as shooting a rocket, blowing up the building that Sevika and Caitlyn were standing next to. it's also hard to name the expression that Jinx is wearing right after this, but it's clear that she was at least part of this fight as well.

Ok, NOW I'm done! I promise! I spent the last TWO HOURS on this thing since the trailer dropped and I'll most likely be spamming about it more if/when i suddenly get new thoughts about it. But that's all for now, bye! (I'M SO EXCITED FOR NOVEMBER AHHH WHY CAN'T IT GET HERE FAST ENOUGH?!)

#arcane #arcane season 2 #netflix #arcane season 2 trailer #arcane season 2 theory #vi arcane #jinx arcane #sevika arcane #caitlyn kiramman #ambessa arcane #warwick arcane #viktor arcane #deep dive #i go on for a while #I'm NOT sorry #league of legends #ive been on this for 2 hours now #someone help me

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maple-the-awesome · 3 months ago

Text

We'll Meet Again...I Know When || Chapter 35

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x GN Reader

Words: 5,280

Overview: Given your old-fashioned personality and obsession with all things 1940s to 1980s, it’s no wonder that most people refer to you as an ‘old soul’ who would’ve rather lived back then than in the modern era. Little do they know, you already did, but with your previous life as Hollie Stark cut short, you’ve been left with some…unfinished business, to say the least. Top of your list? Finally getting to marry your thought-to-be-lost fiancé.

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CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE: BOILING POINT

The room's relatively quiet, which has pretty much been the case ever since your latest fiasco of a mission. It isn't exactly a 'peaceful' silence, but you're willing to take what you can get while dealing with this annoying throbbing throughout your entire body and the stinging pain that’s focused around your center.

"At least I can cross breaking a rib off the bucket list."

"Not a fun feeling, huh?"

"God no," You groan, leaning back only to instantly regret doing so as shown through a sharp flinch. Sam's smile shows a mix of sympathy and amusement before he passes you a couple of pain pills as well as a glass of water. You're quick to set down your ice pack in exchange for these items, gratefully swallowing the pills in hopes that they’ll offer some relief…Unfortunately, there's no immediate effect.

You’re left with no other choice than to miserably do your best getting comfy against the stiff pillows of Zemo’s incredibly uncomfortable couch, your only other option for a distraction being to simply let your thoughts roam to topics unrelated to your searing injuries. There’s lots to review regarding the last hour anyway.

Talking to Karli was a total bust thanks to Captain Cosplay who couldn’t even help prevent her escape afterwards. By now, she’s undoubtedly gone to regroup with her terrorist buddies, bringing along even more reason for them to hate Avengers and even less reason to spare any of you an ear again.

To top off such a failure of a mission, while that section of your plans was going to shit, Zemo apparently took it upon himself to destroy the super soldier serum Karli had been carrying on her person. You suppose that might as well be a good thing considering no more stray vials means no more unwarranted superhumans running amok, however it doesn't quite sit right with you knowing how easily your rent-a-felon had slipped away from watch. He could've made a run for it, and or caused greater harm to the mission as a whole by taking matters further into his own hands which wouldn't have been too out of character given his track record with super soldiers so far.

That's precisely why you told Bucky to keep an eye on him! You were already going after John, and someone needed to stay with Zemo, so it should’ve been him. If he had just listened, you guys would've been able to maintain control of at least that variable - one less idiot to check over your shoulder for. Instead, he insisted on following you then concerned himself with your wellbeing, worried for your sake as if you're a glass doll who took a tumble off a shelf.

…Granted, in the eyes of a superhuman, that’s probably a fitting comparison for what actually happened. Karli succeeded in really knocking the air from your lungs (and most of the sense right out of your head). By the time you finally came to again, the world was spinning in muddled colors orchestrated by constant ringing in your ears, yet you were still somehow aware enough to recall Bucky scooping you up into his arms.

Between those long blinks where your eyes struggled to remain open, you could see the stunned fear woven into his expression. It’s not quite like anything you’ve seen on him before - similar, but not exactly a match even to his troubled stare during the war or his distressed cries in Romania.

You wish you could say he’s relaxed since reaching the safehouse, however his head continues to hang low. Muscles tense and breath jagged, he stands at the bar counter with a glass of vodka in hand - an empty one, since he had just chugged his third round as if a mere shot of pure H2O…He’s still having a hard time snapping out of whatever trance your injury inflicted upon him, failing to steady his nerves no matter how much alcohol he tries to drown himself in; you aren’t the only one to notice.

“Why not try some peppermint tea? It’s an excellent choice for calming anxi -”

“- Fuck off…” Bucky growls in swift response to Zemo’s suggestion, his metal grip constricting against the glass resulting in a sharp ‘squeak’. Any tighter and it’ll shatter into starry shards.

“It’s only a couple of broken ribs and some bruising. Nothing that won’t heal -” That’s the third time Sam has said this. Once when he first assessed you, a second as you finally became coherent again…although both evaluations were less for your sake and more for Bucky’s.

Your little injury seems to have really bothered him, that much is obvious. Strange, for someone who sure hasn’t wanted to address your existence lately - who has taken almost every possible chance to push you away and make you feel unwanted - but hey, maybe it should be taken as a good sign since it must mean he still cares about you to at least some extent.

So - the question remains - why keep playing these stupid games then? What motivation could Bucky possibly have? Is he trying to be angry with you? Have you upset him to the point that he’d rather force himself to hate you than forgive you? …Hopefully that isn’t the case.

‘This whole situation is a mess…’ You think, sighing as you throw your arm over your eyes to block out the light and echo out the hostile energy practically flooding this room.

Something about Steve’s shield; an ongoing source of tension between all involved, yet you have no interest in picking sides right now. Instead, you’d much rather try sleeping, the exhaustion of today weighing heavy on your bones (not to mention your patience wearing extremely thin). You might’ve actually been able to drift off, too, if not for the loud ‘SLAM’ that startles nearly all of you.

The heavy doors are thrown open, leaving way for your least favorite cosplayer to march into the room while on a clear mission to make matters even worse than he already has, "Alright, let's go! I'm ordering you to hand him over!”

"...Fantastic..." You can't help rolling your eyes. There goes your chance at recovering in peace and quiet. What has it been? An hour since you've gotten back here? Probably less. Your medicine was just beginning to kick in, too! Now, you’re forced to bear through the numb ache of both your broken rib and incoming headache as you lazily watch Sam stand to 'greet' John Walker's presence.

"Hey slow your roll. Let's be clear: shield or no shield, the only thing you're running around here is your mouth," Clearly losing his own patience with the current situation, Sam packs some bite to his words, not caring if they don't sit right with John who fails to suppress a scowl, "I had Karli - She was willing to listen until you overstepped. As for Zemo, he's actually proven himself useful today and we're going to need all hands on deck for what's coming next -"

"- How do you want the rest of this conversation to go, Sam? Huh?" John wears a cocky smirk, apparently mistaking Sam's silence as being stunned astonishment, not dumbstruck bemusement, "Should I put down the shield? Make it fair?"

He's doing his best to appear big and strong behind his threat, but he's the only one to take it seriously. Even Sam - who's usually the better of your group when it comes to maintaining peace by deescalating high tensions - scoffs at John's ridiculous assessment of himself being a 'challenge' for anyone.

Oh, what you'd give for Steve to be here so that he could show this guy how a real captain throws a punch, even if just to put the truth into perspective. If only John would realize how different he is from the real thing. Steve knew he didn't have to prove himself to anyone, he simply had to stand up for what's right. Even before he was a super soldier, that kid from Brooklyn knew the real meaning behind the shield, something you doubt John will ever understand, at least not at this rate, which is exactly why he shouldn't be carrying it.

Honestly, you had no real intentions of getting involved in this either. You weren't even going to roll yourself off the couch. You would've been perfectly content watching Sam kick Fraud's ass while casually draped across it like a professional cat, but almost the second that shield gets set down, a spear is wedged into the pillar mere inches away from John's face, causing all eyes to dart over to the dora milaje warrior standing at the other end of the room where she had previously gone unnoticed.

Before anyone can address her properly, two more dora milaje warriors march into the room from the hall. They speak in Wakandian, the content of their conversation being unknown to you, however you can assume it's nothing pleasant based on their stoney expressions and fierce tones, both fixated on Zemo and Bucky who appear less than thrilled. If anything, they look scared.

"Release him to us now," confirms the obvious regarding what this is all about.

"Hi,John Walker, Captain America,” Blind to the atmosphere around him, John all too casually approaches the women who meet his introduction with some pretty bombastic side eyes in return, “Tell you what, let’s go ahead and put down the pointy sticks and talk this through, huh? We're kinda in the middle of -"

"- John," Sam interjects, at first with an amused smile, except it’s quick to turn serious, probably after he realizes where this crossroad is likely to head, “Listen, you might want to fight Bucky before you test your luck with the dora milaje.”

John simply turns his back on Sam’s advice, giving a smug sneer towards the women in question, “The dora milaje don’t have jurisdiction here -”

“- The dora milaje have jurisdiction wherever the dora milaje find. themselves. to be…” One warrior bites back almost instantly, drawing out those last few words with venomous intent, although her expression hardly changes as she skillfully keeps her cool better than any of you would if John ever dared to step so close.

For a moment there - however short - it seems that a threat has actually put him in check for once, forcing him to shut his mouth as he appears to do some sort of double-take. A quick, almost embarrassed glance back at the rest of you, followed by an equally awkward laugh, divides that temporary silence with John’s next response which he pairs with an outstretched hand that lands on the dora milaje’s shoulder, “...Look, I think we got off on the wrong -”

Showing much less patience towards John’s audacity than the rest of you, the women attack in an instant, knocking him off his feet face first onto the floor. The three dora milaje then surrounded him and Lemar, the latter of whom’s only mistake was taking a step towards the fight which sealed his fate of being choked back with a spear.

“We should do something,” You hear Sam say, forever the kind and considerate spirit. That’s much more than you can say about yourself. Rather than stand up to at least mock concern over the situation happening mere feet in front of you, you simply rest your head lazily against the back of the couch while watching everything unfold with no more interest shown than you would towards a lackluster movie.

“They’ll figure it out…” You decide stubbornly, nonchalantly shifting your legs to avoid any contact with Lemar when he’s thrown into the seat just adjacent to you.

“Looking strong, John!” Even Bucky seems to indirectly agree with you that this situation isn’t yours to fix up, that is initially, at least, until Sam gives you both looks of disapproval.

While it’s nothing that fazes yourself - after all Sam must realize you’d be little help in a battle of physical strength - it’s apparently enough to convince Bucky to join the chaos, too, probably less so to ‘help’ the other boys and more so to prevent this show from turning into an actual blood bath.

Unfortunately for them, they don’t fare much better than the other gentleman involved. If anything, they merely split the dora milaje’s wrath, each taking a half for themselves in the form of swung spears and stinging blows which makes you all the more sure of your decision to sit this one out.

Could you have simply sat here watching things unfold with an imaginary bag of popcorn? Of course, but a grumbled roll of your eyes just happened to land your attention on the opposite side of the room and, more importantly, on Zemo. For a moment, you were so entertained by watching John Walker be slammed against a table that you nearly forgot about your other nuisance. Such a shame.

Zemo takes full advantage of the unplanned distraction tearing apart his fancy parlor, slipping past the fight through the shadows with an unbothered stride that gains no urgency even when you show your notice of him:

“HEY!” Sitting up all too quickly, you wince at the sharp pain that stabs throughout your body, yet do your best to power through it while rushing to your feet and chasing Zemo’s direction.

Eitherhe doesn’t hear you or doesn’t care enough to give you any concern - you’re willing to bet it’s the latter as he steps into the bathroom and pulls the twins doors shut behind himself, far nicer than when you toss them back open again.

Empty. The bathroom is empty by the time you step fully inside, furiously looking around for the escapee who vanished like some kind of annoying magician. There’s no way he got so lucky as to find his golden ticket and cash it that quickly. That bastard was planning his getaway for god knows how long. All he needed was a moment like this when his guards were distracted.

“Damn it!” You curse aloud, wanting to use much more vulgar words, however they’re caught upon your tongue when you turn just in time to see one of the dora milaje warriors approaching.

Flinching, you’ll admit you half expect to experience her anger for yourself. One glance behind her leads way to your defeated comrades - Sam against the floor and couch rubbing his face while Bucky stands dumbfounded with his metal arm dropped from its socket - yet the Wakandan only passes you by calmly, peering into the bathroom to see the bad news for herself.

“He’s gone,” Although she refrains from losing her tongue, the venom in her tone shows she’s about as impressed as you are with Zemo’s absences. Marching past with no regard to you nor the way you back away, she casually leaves the room as if she and her friends hadn’t just kicked the sense out of almost everyone inside, her only word of departure being directed towards one of her fellow warriors who holds John’s shield in triumph, “Leave it.”

The other woman looks disappointed, but voices no argument as they leave together.

As soon as they're gone, you make your way over to the result of their fury, your first stop being to help Sam up off the floor which he gives a quick ‘thanks’ for, however your attention is hardly on him. Instead, your eyes remain concerned with Bucky across the way.

“What happened?” You ask, not dismissing the way his hand trembles slightly while reaching to pick up his metal arm from the ground. How it became detached so cleanly in battle…Well, it must’ve taken some skill. You’ve only ever seen him remove it once or twice for cleaning, something he struggled with both times. Then again, you suppose it would make sense for the Wakandans to know the work-arounds of their own creation.

Clearly, there’s a storm of thoughts brewing in Bucky’s mind, that much being certain based on his distant stare as he reconnects his arm back into its socket. Nevertheless, he fails to answer your question, leaving that task to Sam who apparently misses the implied context.

“We got our asses handed to us, that’s what,” He grumbles bitterly, still sourly rubbing the mark upon his cheek. It probably stings and is likely to bruise.

“Well, I hate to be the bearer of further bad news, but Zemo got away.”

He scoffs, “I heard. Of course he did…”

“‘Can’t imagine he’ll get far with the dora milaje on his tail. Either way, I doubt we’ll be seeing him again anytime soon - not that I’ll lose sleep over that tonight…Are you both okay at least? In a ‘recoverable’ sense, that is?” Once again, your eyes give away who you’re truly worried about and, once again, you receive no answer from who you wish to hear it from most.

“I think you should probably ask that to John,” Sam sighs. Initially, you aren’t too sure if he’s joking or serious. Going off his words, it’s a joke. Expression? He might really mean it. …And John’s expression?

The defeated soldier looks to be in a similar boat to Bucky in terms of internal dilemma. Even as Lemar offers a hand, John continues to kneel against the ground in dazed silence only interrupted by a quashed mumble, “They weren’t even super soldiers…”

He stalls for a moment before finally snapping out of it enough to take Lemar’s hand, lifting himself off the ground then swiftly masking his shock with a glare aimed towards the rest of you. No more words are said on his end - nothing verbal, that is. His eyes say everything they need to, expressing all that they need to about his embarrassment and anger…Maybe that battle wasn’t the reality check you thought he needed after all. Maybe just the opposite…

Running a hand through your hair, you glance around the room in total loss. Wakanda’s pissed. Zemo’s gone. John’s unstable. And to think your day couldn’t have gotten any worse…If you were on your own, this would be about the point where you’d be screaming into a pillow to release all your pent up anger, but now isn’t the time to lose your cool. You have to keep it together.

Sam mentions something else about the Zemo part of this situation, yet you fail to hear out his thought process. Your focus is solely stuck to Bucky who doesn’t stick around himself, having turned his back almost as soon as he could probably sense you were about to address him again.

Dragging a hand over his face, he marches off to destination you originally assumed would be the bathroom Zemo disappeared in, perhaps to begin tracing the baron’s path to recapture him - which might’ve been what Sam was trying to suggest you all do next - however Bucky walks directly past the bathroom and down the hall instead.

Carelessly smacking open the guest room door, he wanders inside where his limited belongings await mostly untouched upon the bed, never unpacked from his duffle bag. Taking a deep, labored breath, he tries to cease any thoughts about today as a whole, desperately pushing them back behind the dam that’s barely holding his sanity together…but the pressure is building.

First he let you get injured and now Ayo hates him? Is he just destined to keep hurting everyone around him, no matter what he does to avoid it? Even without the Winter Soldier to haunt his mind, his life is still cursed with conflict and danger. HYDRA, Thanos, the Flag Smashers…Will it never stop? Will he ever be able to rest without worry or blame?

“- James…?” The door was already practically open, yet you still peek out from around it, ever so gently pushing it outwards as you step into the room with a frown upon your face, "...What about you? Are you okay?"

"...Fine..."

Despite that being his answer, you still hesitate there in the doorway. You can’t just walk away - doing so wouldn’t feel right. Sure, he’s been an asshole lately and you’d have every right to disregard him, but…Well, today’s been rough for everyone, especially him. You’ve already seen how your injury bothered him on a level he refuses to admit, then for the dora milaje to show up - more importantly, for Ayo, someone he admires and considers himself to be in great debt to…

“It’s only natural for Wakanda to be upset with what we’re doing here. Zemo killed their King, after all,” You speak up against the silence, trying to sound neutral as if you’re simply stating a fact and not trying to offer any comfort, “Of course they’re not going to like that we’re working with him for any reason, much less that we broke him out of prison to do so, but it’s not like you -”

“- What part of ‘fine’ don’t you get?”

You’re left gaping at his snapped tone, frozen for a split second or two after he turns over his shoulder to glare at you…Then your own anger starts to swell faster than you can bite it back, “Maybe the part where you still look pissy as all hell. Seriously, what’s your problem? I’m only trying to make sure you’re okay. You -”

- You take a deep breath, even closing your eyes for a second to gather your thoughts. This isn’t the time to lose patience. You must keep it together. Distance - If you have any hope in your relationship getting better, you need to give him distance, and you will, but you also can’t just turn a blind eye to him while he’s struggling. Dancing around the issue isn’t helping anyone at this rate. You want to talk things out first - You need to address the problem then go from there, wherever it may lead.

Letting go of your breath, you don’t mask your concern this time, “...You’re clearly not okay, James. These last few months have been a shit-show, I get that. Thanos, losing Steve, this whole mess with the Flag Smashers…Me…”

He flinches and swiftly looks away.

“It’s been too much. I’m starting to realize that. We’re all stressed and angry and - …Listen, James. I - …I was wrong to keep secrets from you, especially one as big as me being Hollie. I’ll admit that, but you have to try to understand where I was coming from. I didn’t want to overwhelm you. I knew it was going to be a lot and hard to believe so I wanted to wait for a good time…It’s not like it’s exactly easy telling people I used to be someone else a half-century ago…”

You run a hand through your hair with a heavy sigh, “I realize I put it off for far too long, and I really can’t say sorry enough for that, but as wrong as it was for me to keep the truth from you, I still don’t understand why such a secret would warrant you treating me like this. We…We used to be so close. We were close, and then you cut me out just likethat…Why?”

Bucky clenches his fist, forcing himself not to so much as glance back at you. He’d be in trouble if he did that. It’s much easy to keep his back turned while willing himself to remain calm despite the bite that presents itself in his words, “I don’t want to talk about it right n -”

“- No!” You quite literally put your foot down, narrowing your eyes at him, “We need to talk about it now. You can’t keep shutting down on me, Bucky. We’ve been avoiding this conversation for too long already. I thought everything would sort itself out if I gave you some time to think, but clearly that’s only making matters worse for both of us. I…I need to know. I need you to know.

“Bucky, I have loved you ever since I could remember who I used to be. Every second we’ve spent together - Everything I’ve done and said - It was never an act, it’s always been me. I need you to understand that. I feel no different for you now than I did when I was named Hollie. I’ve only ever wanted to see you be happy and doing well - that’s my ultimate goal. While I’d like you to be that way with me - while I’d like to be happy together, if you don’t -...If you don’t see me as her then…”

You look down, uncomfortably fiddling with your hands as you fight to keep your voice steady. Still, you can’t ignore the sting of tears in your eyes, “...It’s fine, it’s whatever. We don’t have to be anything special - Hell, we don’t even have to maintain contact ever again if that’s what you truly want, but at the very least, can’t you still treat me like an actual human being whenever the world forces us to interact? Can’t we be civil? I mean, you’ve been nicer to Zemo than you have been to me lately. It’s like you hate me all of the sudden…Is that it?”

“No -” For once, an answer is delivered without any initial hesitation. It must have been impulsive - a powerful reaction caused by hearing that slight peak to your voice. It causes Bucky to finally spin around and face you, yet that single word is quickly followed by regret once he shies away with a heavy sigh, “...No, I don’t hate you…”

“Then why? Please just tell me so that I can fix things.”

This conversation is dragging on for a dangerous length of time. Even with how little he’s engaged, there’s a voice inside Bucky’s head warning him that it’s been too much. The further this extends, the faster his heart races and the heavier his thoughts weigh…The damage your words do against his shield are deadly, yet he stubbornly refuses to give in. He already made his decision long ago. He can’t become weak against it now.

“There’s nothing to fix -” Attempting to put an end to this discussion, he tries to distract himself with his belongings. It’s a hopeless game of pretend as he shifts through his bag with no real motivation beyond acting busy - an act that doesn’t fool you.

“- Clearly there is,” You huff, taking a step further, arms now crossed, “You wouldn’t be acting like this if everything was just fine and dandy.”

“Just -!” He catches himself, suffocating his growing frustration through a quick inhale, “…Drop it, alright? I already said I don’t want to talk about it.”

“You never want to talk about it!” You accuse, a hand now falling to your hip, “Why are you acting like my presence is suddenly killing you?”

Slamming his hands against his bag, he spins towards you with a flare temper of his own…So much for keeping it managed, “Why? Because I never asked you to come here! I never wanted you to get involved!”

“In what?”

Shaking his head, he blatantly ignores you aside from a scoff. Tugging at his hair, he finds himself cursing your stubbornness. As bad as it had made him feel, at least you stormed off in Madripoor by this point. You gave up before he had to risk saying anything too close to the truth, however you’re more determined than ever to push for it now. Why can’t you just see that he’s trying to do what’s best for you here?

Instead of even considering something as silly as that, you use your built up anger as fuel for pursuing an answer. No longer are you willing to accept silence or gruff remarks. No longer do you care if you can see Bucky getting visibly distraught with every poke and prod. You deserve an answer this time.

“Involved in WHAT, James!? With this mission? Because believe it or not, I’m not here for you. I’m here because I consider myself responsible for the super soldier serum -”

“- IN EVERYTHING! I NEVER ASKED YOU TO BE INVOLVED IN ANYTHING!” Bucky suddenly shouts over you, his voice cracking in a way neither of you have heard before. Even through the tears, he swears all he can see when looking at your stunned silence is a reflection of Hollie frowning back at him. You don’t even look alike anymore, yet there’s something about your expression - maybe the bitten frown or heartbroken shine of your eyes - that makes you look so much like her. Too much like her…

Why did you have to come back, dammit it?! Hasn’t he been tortured with his past enough? Why be tempted with you now? You didn’t have to come find him the way you did. You could have gone on with your new life, enjoying all the wonders it has to offer for someone so bright and gifted - all the wonders he stole away from you in the past. Now he’s constantly keeping track of the seconds until he dooms you again - until the nightmare becomes another reality once you’re no longer lucky enough to push yourself back up with only a few broken ribs. He’s already killed Holiday Stark. How long until he gets (Y/n) (L/n) killed, too?

Tearfully, you shake your head. You wish you could do more than that. You want to be angrier or at the very least unfazed so that you can at least pretend none of this bothers you the way it does, but you don't have the spirit; it's been successfully crushed under the weight of Bucky's words and your own heartache.

"...Then I won't be…" You know your whispered voice cracks all the same, and you know your hand is trembling when you reach for its opposite, struggling more than it probably should to wiggle the silver ring off your finger which you then let fall to the floor as if it would've been too hot to hold. From there, you barely even wait to hear the 'clink' that it makes against the tile, already having your back turned as you practically throw the door open without any regard to how it slams against the adjacent dresser.

In a blind hurry, you brush past Sam who looks like a stunned deer caught on a highway. You echo out his fumbled attempts at calming you down because if you could give him words right now, you’d tell him that you're far past the point of 'calming down'. You're officially on autopilot mode as you hastily gather your belongings from your own room.

Tossing everything into your bag and swinging it over your shoulder, you retrace half of your last steps, this time finding both Sam and Bucky together in the hall. One looks annoyed like a parent who just wanted a nice night out, the other guilty like a kicked dog; both wary as you pass on by. Any other day, it might've fed your ego to see their fear. If you had some heart left, you'd aim a joke towards it, but not today.

"Wait - Where are you going?" Sam calls, and you think it overshadows Bucky's weak attempt at calling your name.

"Home. I'm done with this shit!”

Sam's attention is immediately whipped to Bucky with a hiss, “What did you do?!”

The question has little to no effect, not because it doesn’t matter, but because it’s already being considered, stirring the sour emotions bubbling in Bucky’s mind. The guilt was always expected, however its exact force was miscalculated. This is what he wanted, isn't it? He wanted to push you away - to keep you as far from him as possible where you’ll be safest…and yet he doesn’t feel accomplished in the slightest.

Glancing back through the open door of his room, Bucky’s eyes become watery once they land on the abandoned wedding ring that sinfully glows in the light of the window.

…He’s really done it now…

NEXT CHAPTER {coming soon}

<- PREVIOUS CHAPTER

Taglist:

@arunabrak

@lovemesomevesey

#x reader #reader insert #marvel #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x y/n #captain america #bucky fic #bucky x y/n #winter soldier #falcon and winter soldier #winter solider x y/n #winter solider x reader #natasha romanoff #sam wilson #steve rogers #stark reader #marvel x reader #bucky barnes

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jadeylovesmarvelxo · 6 months ago

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🎲🖤 Devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes 🎲🖤

Writing a little fic about the reader joining Hellfire after being kicked out of the original D&D group she's in, for reasons *cough (sexist arseholes)* and Eddie is literally in love with this feisty lady who interrupts the latest Hellfire campaign and asks to join the group, who's planned campaigns involving Vecna and has no trouble arguing with him if he's being a dick. (The latter might be in part two if people are interested)

Vecna who's Vecna? Eddie is alive and thriving in this fic. Also, I'm not 100% well-versed in D&D but I am learning, if I do part two I hope to include more into the plot.

The title is lyrics from Cruel Summer by Taylor Swift 💞

💞

"You can't just kick me out of the group," you say fuming as Ethan looks at you with pity.

"I'm the Dungeon Master so technically I can, the guys just think that you take playing a little less seriously than the rest of us" he lies straight to your face and the anger that is bubbling up inside of you threatens to explode.

"What! I literally built the last three campaigns because you couldn't come up with anything, I came up with the plan to defeat Vecna and...you glare at him, this is what it's about isn't it. You hate that I can come up with the ideas for campaigns and because I'm good at the game. Of all the idiotic, sexist bullshit...

Ethan blushes. "Look, I want to see if Eddie would let me and the guys join Hellfire and maybe he might let me DM sometimes but if he finds out that you helped make up most of them well...

So you're kicking me out to save yourself the apparent humiliation of a girl being better at D&D than you are" he flushes pink and glares at you.

"Whatever. We'll be fine without you. Good riddance" he storms off by that point leaving you alone and tearful. You're just so pissed that you have to leave the group, leave something you love playing.

There's a gentle pressure on your shoulder and you find Robin looking at you concerned. "What was that about? Did he do something to hurt you? I could ask Steve to kick his ass, unless you want to kick his ass yourself which is great and all and...

She stops talking when she sees one silent tear run down your cheek which you wipe away furiously, nope you will not cry because of that gargoyle Ethan.

"Robin breathe, and yeah I'm okay. I mean I will be" you explain everything that happened and by the end Robin is as angry as you are.

"He can't just kick you out, what a douchebag, how exactly is he going to explain away the fact he has no amazing ideas for campaigns without you there?

You should talk to Eddie and join Hellfire yourself, he's actually a nice guy well according to the Steve's child/brother friend. The dingus is jealous of Eddie which is kind of sweet and hilarious..." She cuts off her rant at the growing smile on your face.

"Oh no, I know that look" you grin widens and you link arms with Robin. Yes you'll join Eddie and expose Ethan for the slimy ass that he is.

❤️

With the idea in mind you decide to ask Eddie before Hellfire starts but instead find yourself walking into a session which is in full swing. Well shit. Way to make a good impression...

Eddie stops talking, he's in the middle of the campaign, just at the part where a group of rogue trolls have invaded the party and turned the gathering of friends at a tavern into a fight for survival.

"Yes... Uh cheerleader tryouts are the other way sweetheart" You scoff and raise your eyebrows at him.

"Do I look like a cheerleader to you? I'm sorry to interrupt. I wanted to catch you before you started the session, I was wondering if I could join Hellfire?"

You know Jeff from being in drama with him and he's the first to say, "Uh aren't you in that group with Ethan and George?" You shake your head.

"I was. Until they kicked me out" Eddie's big brown eyes widened and the annoyed expression was wiped from his face, he ignored the complaints of some of the freshmen and motioned you to explain.

"Ethan kicked me out because he's an arrogant, sexist troll" one of the freshmen groans and gestures widely to Eddie.

"Dude, can we hurry up and continue with the session" Eddie holds a hand up to quieten him and stares at you his eyes filled with grudging curiosity.

"Why did he kick you out?" You frown and the anger returns at Ethan and his betrayal.

"Because he wants to join up with you and impress you with his amazing DM skills which are a load of shit. He didn't even organise the last three campaigns, I did. He liked to use all of my ideas but won't have me blow his chances of pretending he's something he isn't" there's silence and Eddie looks impressed.

There's also something else in his expression that makes your stomach feel like it's doing somersaults but you can examine that later.

"So you're here to join instead before the little weasel does. Beat him at his own game huh sweetheart?" you nod and he smiles, all dimples.

"Well yeah basically, I love D&D but I also want to annoy the hell out of the asshole as well, he's just pissed that I came up with a campaign for Vecna and doesn't want me showing you how much he doesn't do for his own group" you finish your rant and wait for his answer.

Eddie's smiling by the end of your rant and gestures you over to the group.

"I like you, you can sit in and watch this session because we're more than halfway through but I'm happy for you to join the group and our next meeting. You can tell me about your stats and character after the session is over"

Thrilled you walk over to the table and Eddie barks at one of the guys to move so you're standing right beside him.

It was so not time for your heart to be doing its own version of a mini-marathon at the mere sight of Eddie's big brown eyes capturing yours. Fuck, you did not have time for whatever this was. You were here to battle dragons, defeat trolls (in real life as well) and be a badass.

Crushing on Eddie Munson would have to wait.

❤️

Eddie is definitely planning on killing Wheeler's character in the next session. He glares as Mini Wheeler finishes his rant about last night.

"You know it's so gross the way you were mooning over her all night right? Make it more obvious that you have a crush on her dude" he whines and Eddie scowls which seems to snap Mike out of his constant whining.

"I was not mooning Wheeler. I was impressed with the way she knew what she wanted and went for it, she will be a valuable asset to Hellfire"

Gareth hides a laugh as he continues eating and Eddie redirects his glare to his friend. "Anything to say Gareth the Great?" Gareth stops laughing at once but still looks amused.

"Dude, you were totally mooning over her, I think someone's in love" Eddie can feel the heat rise on his cheeks and scoffs, how dare Gareth make such an idiotic assumption.

"Love? I don't believe in love dude. This heart is far too cynical for any of that shit. I was just intrigued that's all" he's ready to fully rant when he sees you and his heart skips a beat, argument dying in his throat and his knees turn to jelly.

"Yeah be more obvious Munson" Jeff sniggers which causes Gareth to nearly choke on his sandwich.

Okay, scratch that. He's killing Gareth and Jeff's characters too.

💞

As you walk into the cafeteria the next day you avoid your usual table and head straight for Hellfire.

You wave cheerily over at Ethan and the guys and smirk at their thunderous expressions. Eddie snorts but when you look at him there's no trace of his previous amusement as he mentions the next Hellfire session will be tomorrow.

You're distracted by Ethan glowering in your direction, his arms folded as he snaps at Dean. There's a soft pressure on your hand and you look down to find Eddie's hand touching yours, it gets your attention immediately.

"We can go over your character tonight yeah? There's a spark between the two of you, it lingers in the air and your heart kicks up a notch as Eddie lets out a little groan.

He clears his throat and moves his hand away, you hide how flustered you are as he begins to talk about the new campaign but every so often his gaze meets yours and the same level of intrigue is in his gaze as you feel for him.

💞

"Lady Emmeline is an elven princess who ran away from her duties when her parents tried to marry her off to a vile prince, she's proficient with a bow and arrow but her real talent is swordsmanship, she's intelligent, brave and bold but can be impulsive and hotheaded if provoked" you read out to Eddie who nods.

"Was she your character in your old D&D group?" Eddie asks and you nod, leaning closer to him as he pulls out his notebook. It's chock-full of ideas for campaigns and drawings, being so near Eddie is playing havoc with your concentration.

He smells like leather, the faintest hint of smoke and whatever cologne he's using. It's woody and smells divine. The softness of his usually loud voice and his big Bambi eyes are distracting. It wouldn't bother you so much or at least you'd try to avoid it but the way you catch Eddie looking at you sometimes makes you melt.

It's ridiculous because you've never felt this way before about anybody but now it's happened it's overwhelming and intense.

"Nice tattoo" you murmur and he smiles as you nod to the bats and the Wyvern. "I have more" he pulls down his Hellfire shirt and you can see a black widow spider and a glimpse of a demon.

Very gently you trace a finger over one of the bats on his forearm, Eddie's breath hitches and you curse yourself for possibly freaking him out. "Sorry," you murmur and chance a peek at his expression. It's filled with longing.

"Don't be sorry princess" he's hesitant at first but then after a moment you feel his fingers trace soft patterns over your hand. The feel of his fingers on your skin is amazing and it makes you shiver in a good way.

His eyes drop down to your lips and the two of you move closer instinctively until you're both mere inches apart.

And that's when Dustin barrels in speaking a mile a minute and you and Eddie jump apart at the interruption.

Fuck.

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson #eddie munson x female reader

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grigori77 · 1 month ago

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Critical Role, Campaign 3 Episode 114

Wow, yeah, that was LOUD! Matt's right, they're just RARING to go right now ...

A time capsule, Sam? Really? Oh gods Sam, no ... PLEASE don't evoke the cursed memory of the Cats movie, you know not what you do ... Sam: "Robbie, you have a line." Robbie: "No I don't! No I ... wow, you guys looked really young in 2019!" Sam: "And we still do!" Yeah ... definitely ... Sam really has let this one devolve into chaos, hasn't he? Dear gods ... I always say this mighty be their worst ad yet, but I think this one might be the blue ribbon baby ...

Marisha: "It's making your lips BLUE!!!" O.O

Laura: "Speaklng of Critmas ... did we talk about that?" Ashley: "I don't know!"

Oh my fucking gods there's an ACTUAL Tusk Love BOOK coming out? Holy cow ... O.O Ashley: "It better be smutty!" Indeed!

That's a good point ... how IS the wedding gonna work if they DIE?!!!

Ooooooooooh ... nervous, nervous ... so nervous! This could go SO BAD!!! I'm so anxious, guys!

First look at the Battlmap for this session ... and it's a MONSTER ... holy fuck this is SO FUCKING INTIMIDATING ... this is where it's all gonna kick off, then ...

Holy Aura? Okay ... so that's going on for EVERYBODY, then? Oh, that's a nice package, indeed ... but also DEFINITELY not subtle either ... hmmm ... but it's not gonna last, either ... better make it count, guys!

Oh, yeah ... smart, maybe hold off on that for a little break to get their shit in order first ... nice thinking, Liam.

No Orb in sight? Hmmmmm ... good or bad? Should we be concerned about that?

Yes. Keyleth's voice would be VERY LOW AND GRAVELLY right now ... and now Grog's using his Titanstone Gauntlets to SUPERSIZE ... oh, and Matt has an EXTRA LARGE GROG MINI?!!! Awesome!

Good point. The Orb is NOT the first order of business here ... they have to remove the Bacon ... sorry, the BEACON first ...

What WAS that strange loud buzzing thing that passed overhead in the smoky sky? Should we be worried about that?

Freedom of Movement for Keyleth and Scanlan? Oh yeah, that might be helpful with him having A MASSIVE HORSE BODY right now!

SIX HUNDRED FEET?!!! Fucking hell, Vex ... that bow is OP'd. I mean this whole crew is pretty OP'd, but still ...

Windup toys? Intriguing ... Professor Anders with a vial of green liquid ... sounds potentially destructive ... is this gonna be a Jinx's monkey-bomb with the Hex crystals kind of situation?

Keyleth's Call Lightning's still up? Cool.

So, Vex fires off an explosive shot to DEVASTATING EFFECT with a genuine NAT-FUCKING-20!!! Okay, then ... what a way to start this off ... AND with a Sneak Attack? Holy shit ... this is gonna be a SCARY amount of damage ... lots of dice maths, especially with the doubling ... O.O ... really, that was like 77 points of damage in ONE HIT?!!! Insane explosive wrecking ball of an attack there, Vex! No wonder the intended target is COMPLETELY DESTROYED in one single hit ...

And that is DEFINITELY it for any remaining pretences of stealth, definitely ... it's all KICKING OFF!!!

Marisha: "Who's mind-fucking me?" Travis: "Isn't that always the question?"

ROLL INITIATIVE!!! Here we fucking GO!!!

Percy's up first? No wonder ... Bad News with a Deadeye Shot! Okay, then ... NO MERCY PERCY!!! Here we go ... he's gonna DESTROY this poor bastard ... a Psychic Shield? Oh, you cheater ... OF COURSE he takes another shot at him then ... oh fuck ... a MISFIRE?!!! Balls ... so he has to waste his Bonus to fix it ... nuts ... next shot hits, though ... and he busts the shield AND grabs some meat! Nice ...

Vex aims to finish what her hubby started on the Thought Eater ... staying at long range, she uses her Lightning Arrow ... dice maths ALMOST beats her, but she gets it together ... and yeah she manages to FUCK HIM UP!!! Nice ... now the orbs are lighting up, though ... oof ... so she scoots off out of range of THAT SHIT too ... O.O

Keyleth plunges into the ground and ploughs under to make her way as close as she can get to the Key ...

A vidulch from ABOVE?!!! What the sweet fuck? That's terrifying ... AND YES, that mini REALLY IS pure nightmare fuel! In fact I can't even call that a MINI ... O.O ... and it has a RIDER?!!! Fuck, who's THIS GUY? He sounds scary ...and the vidulch has a NAME, apparently ... Scrag? Lovely ...

And now it's SCRAG'S turn? Fuck ... and it has FIVE ATTACKS?!!! Dear fucking gods ... quite right everybody's just FREAKING OUT, Travis especially ... O.O

Travis: "Matt, what did ... WHAT DID YOU DO?!!!"

That's right, this thing is basically a FUCKING TARASQUE ... yeah, this is entirely Matt bucking for a TPK this session ... O.O

Oh great ... here come the fucking freaky ancient Reiloran hive mind, any second now ... as if we didn't have ENOUGH to deal with ...

So ... not much Lieve'tel can do right now ... so she just makes her way the best she can towards the Key instead ... but the massive horrowshow gets an attack of opportunity on her on the way ... argh ... and it FUCKING HURTS ...

The Shrikes' turn? Ouch ... this won't be pretty ... they're holding their actions? Not good AT ALL ...

Grog leaps onto the platform and tries to distract the big beastie ... meanwhile battering at a pillar with his Knuckles? Yeah, this should be interesting ... especially since he's STILL Raging ... BOOM!!! BOOM!!! He brings it down and BARELY manages to jump off in the process ... oh yeah, they don't want a piece of Grog AT ALL right now, they're smart ...

Laura: "What do you horse eyes see, Scanlan?" Cute ... XD

Scanlan starts punching the Tower with SCANLAN'S HAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNDD!!! Sam has COMPLETELY forgotten how to do this, it's been SO BLOODY LONG ... and it really does absolutely BUGGER ALL ... oh dear ...

Sunder King Ozo Cruth? Hmmmm ... okay, then ... the Juggernaut on the vidulch looks up at Vex and takes his glass sword to fire at her ... but when it hits, the Dawnfather's protection instead makes his spell REBOUND back into him with a SHITTON of Radiant damage ... O.O ... nice ... which knocks him on his arse ... but he's also able to DRAG HER DOWN into melee with him? Oh shit ... and now he's pulling out a nasty barbed mace ... to attack her THREE TIMES?!!! Fuck! Bone Graver? Charming ... thankfully only one hits, and it puts him on his arse again thanks to the Dawnfather ...

Oh fuck ... NOW what? Oh fuck ... another mini that's not an actual MINI ... Vorak? Oh, that is just NASTY ...

Laura: "I think you think we're better than we are, Matt!"

So it's a bane worm? Lovely ... it goes STRAIGHT for Grog ... and starts trying to chew on him! Ow! Thankfully he JUST manages to pull free in time ... and hits back, dealing a substantial punch in return ... so it shoots a bunch of spines at him! Great ... thank fuck the Big Man is Raging ...

Cerkonos clambers over the wall in his fire elemental form and stalks up to the vidulch, then casts Cinjure Aanimals, summoning peregrine falcons? Hmmmm ... interesting choice ... they start swarming the beastie and its rider, dealing a variety of damage ... 5 D10 of Slashing damage? Nice ...

Pike shifts as close as she needs to get into range before hurling a Sunburst at the Malleus Key ... oh, apparently this is gonna be a BIG BLAST effect ... come on Everlight, kick some arse ... that's a fail for Scrag, but not for Ozo ... and another guy just gets VAPORIZED into ash ... another gets badly burned ... yeah, she has inflicted A WHOLE LOT of damage in that one hit ... meanwhile th4e flash of it lights up EVERY LITTLE DETAIL on the Tower ... and some of them are BLINDED too ...

Vorak manages to bite down on Grog this time and starts chewing on him now he's IN ITS FUCKING MOUTH!!! Oh shit! O.O

Poor blind bastard just pratfell RIGHT DOWN THOSE STAIRS ... it'd be pitiful if it wasn't a bad guy ... instead it's just FUNNY. XD

Oh shit ... those fucking orbs are doing stuff now ... help! O.O ... and now Pike's getting Mind Ravaged ... or rather NOT, she got SO FUCKING LUCKY there ... but the second one HITS!!! Oof ... Damn Psychic damage! That hurts AND disorients her.

Fuck ... Lieve'tel is uncermoniously DUMPED ON THE GROUND ... that's not nice AT ALL!!! Now she's getting mindfucked TOO ... O.o

Percy takes advantage of the flash to take a good look at the Tower ... and he FINDS THE LOCATION they're looking for! Phew! He pulls out his walking stick, pops out the blades and slashes as the Shrike ... which just misses ... NUTS!!! Next one hits, though ... then he stabs at him while SHOOTING HIM with the built-in gun! Nice ... and now the Shrike is RIGHT NEXT to Percy's toy ... so he shoots at the toy ... okay, then, this should be interesting ... Professor Anders blows up, showering the Shrike AND Scrag with a lethal toxin! Even more nice! No Mercy Percy strikes again!

Vex bamfs Trinket out behind Ozo ... REALLY?!!! And then as he starts savaging the Juggernaut she just FLIES OFF?!!! Abandoning her beloved ancient bear? O.O ... my gods ... now she starts SHOOTING AT Ozo with her bow ... Bramble Shot! Okay ... she misses ... crap! Second hits, though ... come on OP bow in the hands of the greatest ranger of all time! Nice ... that is a FUCKTON of damage, Laura! 72 points of damage in ONE ATTACK!!!

Keyleth casts Earthquake with the full intent to try and BRING DOWN THE TOWER ... O.O ... what are the chances this ACTUALLY WORKS?!!! Without accidentally killing half of them in the process? Oh my fucking gods this is HARROWING ...

Oh dear, the poor cowering Vanguard in the tent have been THOROUGHLY PULVERISED by the ensuing tremors ... yeah ... okay, so now EVERYBODY still on the ground needs to make a dex save ... crap ...

Wow ... yeah, this is taking out a BUNCH of people all at once ... oh, and Scrag get knocked on its arse, too! Completely crushing that poor bastard Shrike that was still underneath it ... wow ... meanwhile the Tower HAS taken some damage, but is still standing ...

Scrag gets back up and goes STRAIGHT for Keyleth ... crap ... MUNCH MUNCH MUNCH!!! Yeah, this thing is FULLY INTENT on inflicting a whole HELL of a lot of hurt on our girl right now, including a massive amount of acidic vomit ... yuck! Shit ... now Matt's doing a whole hell of a lot of dice rolling ...

Great ... Lieve'tel's Planar Ally is now GONE ... great ...

Balls ... the Weavemind are starting to manifest then, looks like ... and now they're all getting BATTERED TO THE GROUND with psychic energy from beyond the stars! So to speak ... crap ... yeah, Vex just got pounded RIGHT OUT OF THE SKY!!! That's not cool! At least it didn't break the broom, but still, HEY!!!

Lieve'tel drags herself upright and heads for the Tower ... she casts Divine Intervention to try and rip the Beason free from the structure! Holy shit ... O.O ... hundreds of ravens? Oh, that's really awesome ... go you magnificent murder! Oh yeah, that's the ticket ... yeah, there we go, it's fucking WORKING!!! THERE IT IS!!! THE BEACON!!! EXPOSED!!! PERFECT!!!

Finally a little Healing Word to pep herself up again a little ...

Grog is currently INSIDE THE FUCKING WORM!!! He immediately gets burned by acid and that just sends him into a Frenzied Rage! He is currently Drax in the belly of the weird beast at the start of Guardians Volume 2 so he just starts SMASHING AND SLASHING AWAY!!! Thanks to his Brutal Criticals this is a FUCKTON of damage ... he is thoroughly FUCKING THIS THING UP from within! That's over 100 points of damage in one turn and so no surprise it just PUKES HIM RIGHT OUT AGAIN ... now he's just slashing away again from the OUTSIDE ...

Scanlan uses Scanlan's Hand to try and pluck the Beacon loose ... oh, this might not work ... let's see if he beats the spell ... 26? Hmmmm ... and that is a FAIL for the tower's structure ... yeah, he wins and the Beacon has been pulled out ... oh my fucking gods the Bloody Bridge GUTTERS OUT!!! YEAH!!!

The storm overhead just blows itself out VIOLENTLY, blasting the battlefield with massive winds, but overhead the leylines start to return to their original configuration! Holy shit! They did it!

And now Matt calls a break ... yup ...

So, back with THE REST of Scanlan's turn ... he bringsd the Beacon back to him and drops it right at his feet. Then he casts Dominate Monster on Scrag? Holy fuck ... and it FUCKING WORKS?!!! Unbelievable ... so he commands it to attack ANYTHING on its back ... INCLUDING TRINKET?!!! Oh my fucking gods! O.O

Now it's Ozo's go! He leaps off the back of the Vidulch, using Frenzied Wrath to attack Vex ... oh shit ... so Scanlan tries to mitigate the damage with Cutting Words ... oh boy, this could fail so spectacularly ...

Thank fuck for the Dawnfather ... Vex still gets hurt but it knocks the Juggernaut on his arse again ... he gets back up and just goes for her AGAIN ... more damage for BOTH of them, and Scanlan's Cutting Words does BUGGER ALL ...

Wait ... so he's basically stuck in an attack loop until he fails THREE TIMES?!!! I mean it's hurting him but it's STILL hurting HER too! One miss ... then two ... come on, one more ... fuck, Vex is not DOWN ... but Death Ward brings her back up! Shit, he hits her AGAIN!!! He is FULLY INTENT on ripping her to shreds ... she's down and he just keeps hitting her! She's dying! FUCK!!! NO!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Her final thoughts are of her children ... fuck ... and Percy ... she REACHES FOR HIM ... gods FUCKING DAMN IT!!! Fuck ... is Vex really DEAD now? O.O

Grog keeps on hacking away at the worm ... it blasts him with spines, then tries to bite him again ... which fails SPECTACULARLY!!! Phew ...

Cerkonos jumps down and tries to get to Grog ... he burns his action getting there, so he can't do anything else ... nuts ...

Pike does everything she can to get to Vex, using Divine Intervention to call on the Everlight to bring her back ... oh PLEASE let this work ... PLEASE ... oh ... oh fuck ... the Dawnfather's helping too? Oh thank fuck ... nice save, guys! Yes! She's back ... that's such a relief ... finally Pike piles in a 3rd Level Healing Word into her for good measure ... thank you so much Pickle, youre the MVP like always ...

Okay, so half of the scattered foot soldiers are just BOOKING IT now the Bridge of gone ... nice ... another one tries to attack Cerkonos and gets burned in the process ... oof ...

Shit ... the orbs are still working! That's not good ... so Grog gets a MASSIVE blast from the nearest one, which he barely shakes off thanks to the Knuckles ... oh shit, looks like they're just ALL shooting at Grog right now ... O.O ... shit ...

Gods, this is fucking EXHAUSTING ... I'm so worn out by this endless battle ... these sessions really do take so much out of me ...

Percy is FUCKING FURIOUS about what Ozo just did to his wife and is THOROUGHLY INTENT on killing him spectacularly dead ... he walks right through an attack of opportunity without even slowing down! Bloody hell ... oh fuck No Mercy Percy is ALL THE WAY ON right now! He casts Hex, pulls out Manners and throws it ... and MISSES!!! Shit! Okay, now what? So he just pulls out Bad News and starts blasting! A Grit point for advantage, nice ... BOOM!!! Another shot ... BOOM AGAIN!!! Action Surge, then ... fuck, misfire! He pulls out Animus instead ... another hit! BANG!!! Another! Whirling Parry? Oh you fuck ... another Action Surge, then ... another hit! BANG!!! So he pumps 6 Points of Cabal's Ruin in for good measure ... a tone of Lightning damage, then! CRACK-POW-BOOM!!! Yet ANOTHER hit! BOOM!!! And another! BOOM!!! That is an INSANE bout of damage inflicted ... and the fucker is STILL STANDING?!!! My gods ...

Vex gets up, grabs her broom and flies up into the air. Yeah, smart, after all that she NEEDS to keep some distance right now ... she fires an Explosive arrow at him ... which he ALSO parries ... CRAP!!! Her second arrow misses ... shit! She just made herself a target again ...

Keyleth switches into her Air Elemental form, throwing another Earthquake wave through everything as she boosts herself up into the air. Heading STRAIGHT for the top of the Tower ...

Oh nice! Yes! The Weavemind's orb pillars are FALLING!!! Sweet Kiki you total BADASS!!! You did it! Awesome! Unfortunately everybody has to make a save to keep from getting knocked down or even crushed all over again ... CRAP!!!

The Tower's collapsing? Oh man ... is that good or bad? Can Keyleth find the Ball? YES!!! There it is! GO KIKI GO!!! Get it! Quick! Oh wait ... it's CRACKING?!!! Yes! Get it quick!

Strength check, then ... roll well, Marisha! PLEASE!!! O.O 18? Is that good enough?

The sphere shatters ... a cluster of black shadow ... mist ... it's forming into something ... VAX!!! VAXILDAN LIVES!!! Sort of! Yes! And he's got the mini out and everything! Yes!

Liam is ROLLING FOR VAX!!! OH MY FUCKING GODS!!! He's battered to fuck from the strain and all this damage but he's STILL IN IT!!! That is ONE HELL of an Initiative roll, he's SECOND ON THE ROSTER!!! Unbelievable ... O.O

Scrag is still under the Command to attack whatever's on its back ... shit ... oh, okay ... it's going for Ozo instead? Thank fuck ... yeah, now Trinket's just having a ride instead! XD ... it rains down a metric shitton of damage on Ozo ... and he just TAKES IT ... yeah, that can't be good ... and he's STILL UP ... unbelievable ...

Lieve'tel has the Beacon ... and she's now being INFLUENCED BY IT ... crap! Roll good to shake THAT SHIT off, Liam! She makes her way best she can for Vex ... oh, okay ... she burs her NINTH LEVEL Mass Heal ... 700 hit points overall? HOLY SHIT ... well that's Vax back to full strength, then Vex too ... and everybody else in range ... FUCKING BEAUTIFUL ... YES!!!

Dampen Divinity? You fuckers ... only HALF the points, then? Hmmmmm ... it's still great, though ... fucking BEAUTIFUL save, goth dominatrix elf girl!

The remaining Shrike rushes Grog ... that's some damage, but with his Rage he's just shrugging it right off ... Grog just batters him right back and he's wobbling punch-drunk now ... Grog: "Run ..." He just walks right past him to give the Shrike an attack of opportunity, which he just shrugs right off ... yeah, he's just going STRAIGHT for Ozo ...

Reckless Rage? Oh here we fucking GO!!! He just UNLEASHES on the Juggernaut ... those are some INSANE hits, this is gonna be EPIC ... O.O ... fucking hell that's a lot of dice rolling right now ... oh yeah, he doesn't even FINISH before Matt says: "How do you wanna do this?" He just ENDS Ozo ... and turns him into a meat puppet ... fucking beautiful ... in a really twisted way ...

Both the remaining monsters start SCREECHING in fury at the death of their master ... crap ... this looks like it's going to be REALLY BAD ...

Scanlan fires a bolt of Lightning at the floaty guy ... okay ... yeah, he just DISINTEGRATES that one ... so he tries another Command on Scrag, hoping he can turn it on the worm ...

Vorak the worm lunges for Pike ... yeah, 24 hits ... crap ... she can shrug off the damage, at least, but can she beat the grapple? Oh balls ... yeah, she's in its mouth ... FUCK!!! Now it's shooting spines in all directions ...

Cerkonos swipes at the Shrike with his flaming hand and just ENDS HIM at last ... meanwhile ... oh gods, he is SUCH A NERD I love it ... s he bamfs himself right in front of the worm and ... oh, y'know what? As far as Vicious Mockery goes that's actually really good ... yeah, he's now set it on fire AND is now siccing his birds on it too ... and finally bamfs INSIDE the worm and starts fighting it from within too ... oh wow ...

War God's Blessing? Oh, nice boost there, Pikey!

Pike ... is currently being burned with acid! Shit! She Inflicts a SEVENTH LEVEL Inflict Wounds from within its throat ... oh, this is gonna be sweet ... NINE D10 of damage? Fucking hell this IS gonna be sweet ... O.O ... 42 points of damage? Spectacular ... yeah, it TOTALLY spits her right back out again. Grog catches her ... and they're BOTH splashed with more acid spit ...

One remaining Thought Eater ... tries to summon the Weavemind? Crap ... to Scanlan just Counterspells at Level 6 ... O.O ... oh NICE!!! YES!!! Scanlan just looks it dead in the eye ... and takes a dump. Like punctuation. XD

The remaining Vanguard troopers attack Vax ... who just shrugs it off ... they try to retreat ... and he just cuts right back at them. Oh yeah, THAT ONE'S gonna get FUCKED UP ...

Percy climbs as high as he can before taking aim at Vex' would-be attackers ... damn it ... fucking psychic shields ... Secon Wind for Bonus? Okay ... oof ... yeah, Tal just rolled BALLS this round ... nuts ...

Vax has clearly lost NONE of his spectacular skill since he got locked away ... yeah, he's just CARVING THESE GUYS TO PIECES ... I love it ... and yes now he has extra SMITE!!! Nice ... and that's a HDYWTDT on the Thought Eater! Yes! He's back, baby!

Family reunion, and his lady love once more ... oh, that's so sweet ...

Vex takes a moment to welcome him back ... then flies off to approach the monsters. She paints a Hunter's Mark on the worm, then shoots ... hmmmm ... not the BEST rolls ... but it's better than nothing ... she shoots again ... a Residuum arrow this time? Oh, this should be interesting ... with Sharpshooter ... and AGAIN it looks like she's rolling balls ... but she STILL gets the HDYWTDT! Thank fuck ... okay,k so now it's got a TREE growing out the back of its head, while Cerkonos pours a Lightning Bolt into it, splitting the trunk in two and killing the worm in the process ...

Oh yeah ... Scanlan, totally, send it to just kill as many vanguard as possible ... or just set it free in the desert? Oh wow ... it's TRYING TO BOND WITH HIM right now ... that's so fucking weird ...

Vex just sucks it into her locket ... yeah, that's probably for the best. Phew ... thank fuck ...

Is that it? Did we win?

The twins are FINALLY REUNITED ... oh my gods this is amazing ...

So ... he's STILL tethered to the Matron? Bugger ... but it wasn't exactly unexpected ... how long does he have with them, then?

Oh okay ... the reinforcements have arrived? That's it then ... the battle's over, then. They did it.

Issylra? What's that about?

Please just let him stay ... just give him a little time ... he's fought so hard, he deserves a little something ... just the tiniest little respite ...

The Matron: "The night is yours." Okay ... is that ... just THIS night, or something more?

Hold his hand Kiki ... you don't know how long you might have for this, take it while you can ...

Rest. Yes. One day, that's good. Take it a day at a time.

So this is a finite thing, then. They have one brief moment of respite, they should make the most of it while they can.

Meanwhile Grog's just having fun mopping up what's left of the resistance ... yeah, that's about right ...

To Whitestone? Yeah. Go. Now.

Yes. Let Vex meet his nieces and nephews while he can.

Oh, they're using the split tree in the worm's head to step through? That's ballsy. And kind of irreverent too. I love it.

That's it for Vox Machina, then. Next time it's back to the Moon. For Bells Hells and the Mighty Nein ... next time round. Is it Thursday yet?

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lemon-russ · 5 months ago

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I got carried away, and I think the fact that the last like, 7? books I read were Brandon Sanderson has made me long winded and afraid of sex /s

But we are back to Cato's POV, this is kinda turning into a slower burn than intended, but it will eventually become horny lmao

also, thanks everyone liking it! Did not think anyone would see it, love this like 50 person community of niche warhammer fic and smut lovers <3

Part 3/ ???

part:: 1 :: 2 :: 3 :: 4 :: 5 :: 6 :: 7

Cato Sicarius x F!Reader

(Cato POV 3rd person though)

CW: Violence, blood, descriptions of a vehicle crashing, no sex yet but there will be later, Cato being a bully (like, verbally only)

Summary: Shit hits the fan, Cato and Diplomat have to skedaddle.

word count: 2,208 (the man has possessed me)

Cato tosses the stupid woman into the seat of the thunderhawk, stomping over to the pilot seat. The small crew of 3 humans that had brought them here seem startled by his sudden appearance, and then by his actual appearance as he is coated in blood.

��Go. Now. Back to The Honour.” He commands. The pilot nods and starts punching in things on the terminals, and the two gunners look concerned. Stupid baseline humans, were they all so slow? “Rebellion.” He says, deigning to explain it to them. They frown and look between them, then man their guns. Finally. He looks back at the woman. She was bruised, and now covered in blood. Pretty sure it was from him carrying her- stupid thing can't keep up so he was forced to sling her like a sack back to the thunderhawk. The corner of his mouth twitches down a bit. No it was definitely blood from his armor.

But Guilliman would be upset if she was bleeding and he didn't fix it. Her impractical gown was torn a bit now, blood stained, and dirty. Damn it. “Woman.” He barks at her, making her jump a bit. “Are you injured?” He says, making sure to sound appropriately unconcerned. Because he isn't concerned. Obviously.

She frowns and knits her brow into that throne damned look of confusion she always seemed to have. By the Emperor her brain was smooth. “I said, are you injured?” He drawls out slowly, like he's talking to an especially slow child.

She shakes her head. “Uh, no, nothing besides some scrapes and bruises-” She says in a stupid, puzzled tone. Before she finishes Cato is turning away. Good enough. He sighs a little at the answer- wait why is he relieved at that? Right, his duty. If she was hurt he'd have failed his Father and he hates that. Of course he's relieved she's unharmed.

“Are you almost ready to take off?” He snaps at the pilot impatiently. It'd been nearly a whole minute since he ordered them back to the ship. Why was everyone incompetent but him here?

The pilot frowns and shoots him a look as the small ship starts whirring and taking off from the ground, ramps receding and doors closing. Finally. The ship lurches a bit and the Ambassador falls to the side in her seat at the movement. By the throne, did he have to do everything for her? He stomps over and rights her in her seat, strapping her in with the safety harness. “Can't you do anything but breathe and waste time?” He grumbles at her, tightening the straps a bit too hard and making her wince. “You'll break your skull unbelted, even if it's so hard it might hurt the craft first.” He huffs, stomping out to a window. She wears that stupid confused face still, but he ignores her.

His mood is soured further as he actually sees outside. Human rebels are pouring from the manor they had just left, heading to the Thunderhawk. Which wouldn't be a big issue, except there were so many. The gunner on this side starts mowing them down, but they just keep coming, and the ones in the back are preparing an artillery mortar. Fuck- “The back! Target that mortar, now!” He barks at the gunner.

The gunner tries to move his shots toward the artillery, but the panicked lurching of the craft as the Pilot is flooring it ruins his aim. Throne damned baseline humans- he pushes the gunner off the controls, taking over. His superior reaction speed and aim should be able to handle this, and he turns the gun toward the back line-

There's the familiar thumph of an artillery shell launching. Fuck fuck fuck- “DOWN, BRACE FOR IMPACT-!” He barks, and in two strides he's covering the stupid, soft, breakable-bone filled ambassador with himself. The ship lurches hard as the mortar shell crashes into the back engine.

Lights flash red, there's screaming and alarms, another thumph and another crash into the front of the ship now. He affixes his helmet and curls around the woman, who is bracing herself and curling into a ball to fit better under him. Maybe her brain has a wrinkle of survival instinct in it after all. Flames and shrapnel sweep through in a concussive wave, bouncing off his armor in sharp tink tink tink sounds, and he feels the gut lurching effect of suddenly losing gravity- no, falling, the ship was falling-

His senses hone and time slows as he bunkers down over the diplomat. He stares down at her as they hit the curve from accelerating up, to zero G, and then to falling down. Her hair is floating up around her face, and she looks terrified, looking up at him with wide eyes. Tears are rolling down her cheeks- oh shit she's crying. Oh Emperor he hates women crying. He should say something, or it will distract him.

Bracing himself around her seat, he shouts over the cacophony of terror and panic. “You're okay- I got you.” His voice comes out modulated by his helmet's vox speakers, but her expression shifts just a little at his words, from terror to, well still scared and shocked but at least she might stop crying now. Holy Terra he hates crying.

Suddenly they are crashing into the ground, and he has to focus on not flattening her as his 1000 lbs of plasteel and ceramite clad self suddenly goes from falling to stopping in a second. He braces himself into a cocoon and her seat cushions her impact a bit, though he winces as she immediately gets whiplash from the recoiling force. He quickly moves a hand to brace her head a little so it doesn't snap back again so hard.

As soon as they are no longer actively crashing, he's unbuckling her and scooping her to his chest. Scoping the damage, he grimaces. The crew are dead, thunderhawk is in ruins, and there's a small army of rebel humans heading their way. cradling her to his chest, hand still on the back of her head- he's unsure if that whiplash cause any spinal damage and he'd rather her not die of a broken neck in his arms, his genefather would be furious, of course- he starts charging out the broken hull of the ship, away from the army and towards some rock formations in the distance.

He sprints as fast as he can go, which is pretty fast, even in his armor, but he slows when he feels the ambassador bump against his chest plate. Mortals and their soft, breakable bodies. Why is her neck so thin? A stiff breeze could snap it, and why is her skin so bruisable- should he be worried about the purple splotches already staining her arms and face? Does she have internal injuries he needs to worry about? Fuck she was annoying.

He groans in frustration and slows his stride to something he can maintain while cradling her safely and smoothly against him. It's fine, the rebels are so slow they are already a blob in the distance. He's got this. He's Cato Sicarius, he's always got this. He spots a rocky hole he hopes is a safe cave, but frowns. They're running over fine dirt, his foot prints clearly visible.

He halts his stride, making the woman make a soft noise of surprise. She outright yelps though when he grabs her stupid, long, trailing gown at the knee and yanks on it. The krrchh of tearing fabric startles her. “Hey-! what are you-!” She squeaks out, but he's already tossing his power sword into the fabric. He places her on the ground gingerly, laying her head carefully, and pulls utility cordage from a compartment of his armor, tying it to the satchel he just made.

He picks her up in one arm, holding her like a child to his shoulder with hand on her head, and starts walking, dragging the sword-dress-bag behind them, erasing his footprints in the dirt as they walked. She peaks over his shoulder at his creation. “Oh- Okay, that's actually pretty smart.” She says, sounding surprised. He scowls in his helmet. “Of course it is-” he snaps, “Do you underestimate me so much that you think I'd lead enemies to our location? Or are you merely so vacant that you are surprised it is even a worry?” He growls. How dare this mortal woman doubt his ability to fulfill his duty to protect her stupid, squishy, useless body.

She huffs an annoyed noise. “Are you capable of not being a complete asshole for five minutes, Captain?” She snaps back. He bristles a bit. “Watch your tongue, woman, or I'll have to tap that empty little skull of yours and simply drag you about unconscious. Honestly, that'd be easier.” He adds, actually contemplating it. He already made a bag, he could just stuff her in it, like a safe little hammock… A little diplomat sack, for easy handling. He nearly chuckles at the mental image.

She mumbles grumpily, “That broom on your head must be from shoving it so far up your ass-”, but he ignores her insolent whining, focusing on getting to the cave he spotted. He ducks into the rock formation, grateful to see it is only a pocket and not a whole cave, so no surprises, and when he’s satisfied it is clear of dangerous fauna, he moves to drop her on her ass on the floor.

But he stops himself, frowning. He wasn't sure if her neck was injured or not, and he needed to asses for internal damage. “Emperor, you're such a pain in the ass.” He huffs as he carefully lays her on her back, supporting her neck. “you'd certainly know about pains in your ass with that broom-” she grumbles, trying to sit up. He frowns again and holds her down. “Stop that. Your neck may be inured. Just stay still for a moment.” he scolds.

He peeks out of the cave. They left no tracks, and he sees no troops. He quickly gathers some foliage- brown and dry, what a hellscape planet, did they even want them in the Imperium- and uses it to cover the cave entrance. He sits down next to her, removing his helmet and sighing a deep, tired sigh. “You are the worst thing to ever happen to me.” He states plainly, glowering down at her. She frowns up at him. “Really. Me. Out of all of your Centuries of battle and bloodshed, the worse thing to happen to you is having to guard me for a single mission.” She retorts.

He nodded once. “Yes, exactly. Glad you're keeping up.” He says, trying not to smirk at how angry she seems to get at that. “Cato Sicarius, I swear by the Emperor's holy light you are the single most infuriating person that I have ever been forced to deal with, and I am including the Chancellor that just sicked an army on us-” She starts to yell, trying to sit up again. He pushes her back down carefully by the shoulder, making her growl in frustration. “Neck.” he says, smirking at her tiny rage. Like a puffed up kitten, spitting and hissing at a guard dog.

“Also, that Rolf whatever man is dead. Obviously. So, planet is ours basically when we get off here.” He adds casually. She blinks up at him. “You killed him?” she asks, and he furrows his brow and frowns down at her. “Yes? of course. I killed them all. and half the place on my way to you.” He says, smiling at the memory. Ah, the glory of battle. It would have been better had they been better armed, and maybe if there were more of them. He prefers a challenge. Instead he decided to challenge himself to how many he could dispatch within 20 seconds. That made it more entertaining.

She sighs and rubs her face. “Fine, I guess doing this diplomatically was off the table anyway when they took our ship out. Oh- did you vox up to the Honour yet?” she asks. He shakes his head. “No, I saw signal towers on the way in. I worried they would intercept the vox and find us. I'm going to wait a bit for that army to disperse so they aren't on top of us if we're triangulated.”

She sighs and stares at the ceiling, looking exhausted. Was that normal? she looked pale, could that be internal bleeding? His stomach flipped, and he immediately recoils at the feeling. Why did he worry so much? Of course he wants to do his duty and obey his Primarch, but really if she died of medical complications he probably wouldn't even be punished. Yet when he thought of having to leave her corpse on this backwater wasteland of a planet, his chest tightened. He simply would not allow that to come to pass, then he never had to unpack the feelings. There, boom, done. Psychology solved. He smiled to himself and settled back against the wall. Was there any field he could not master? Of course not. He's Cato Sicarius, he's simply the best at everything.

#I cannot pace myself have all of it at once ig #warhammer 40k #wh40k fanfic #wh40k #cato sicarius #cato sicarius x reader #cato sicarius x f!reader #my work #Cato x diplomat fic

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beebopboom · 11 months ago

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Words of a Wise Angel

(Intro, part 1, part 2, part 3)

Finally made it to the end - four post later for a character that only has around 10 minutes of screen time - and there was going to be more

Originally this was going to be how the Metatron fashioned himself the king in God's game of chess and was going to relate it to Shakespearean Kings heck we were even going to go into Monty Python and the Holy Grail - but honestly I kind of just lost the motivation……maybe in the future I'll revisit.

However I still got shit to say.

(oh my god how did this get so long - I promise I’m a little sane over here)

So let's look into his actions in the show and maybe fill in some blanks

Disclaimer: just want to say I am focusing on The Metatron (obviously), his pov, and how he twist things - not what happened between Aziraphale and Crowley in the final 15, besides like one thing - just heavy emphasis on that

The Judge

(Of a very weird courtroom)

The trial itself seems to mirror Hell's trial in the way there is no true defense - I’m sensing a pattern

In the trial of Gabriel he is centered in the middle - at this moment neither left or right

He doesn't cut in until Gabriel starts going on about what an angel just gotta do sometimes- and brings up a reminder of what happened to the last angel of his position that started with this way of thinking - it after all is a great story for controlling and best not be repeated because then it looks bad on Heaven's part

This establishes The Metatron as a character whose main concern is the reputation of Heaven - that even though this is an action that is casting out worthy he won’t can’t do it because then it would be an upheaval.

But he frames it as a kindness, as if he was doing a favor - it's manipulative, it keeps the "Heaven is all good, here look we are doing a special favor just for you” narrative going

After Gabriel leaves he moves to the side and brings up that it is taking him a while to come back but for the most part takes a backseat to the happenings around him until they start talking about ringing the alarm bells -

He tells them they are just going to have to find him and he is amused about it. Which tells me a few things

that he doesn't want this getting out yet- fewer that know the better

he didn't actually care about what happened to Gabriel - in fact this might even be a better outcome for him in the way he just doesn't have to deal with him any more

he doesn't actually think they will find him

this might just be a great story - let’s just let it play out

Now this is all happening right before episode 1 perhaps bleeding into the time where Crowley and Shax are talking (which begs the question of how does Shax know) - so it is days before we see him again, a very eventful few days

The First move

When he does show back up he’s in a corporation and getting coffee - second in line behind Mrs. Sandwich.

And his eye is on Crowley - he watches Crowley converse with these two humans and bring Mr. Brown back

Now the coffee shop - I lied I do have something to add

So before even ordering what is he witnessing? Maggie and Nina having a moment - where Nina accepts Maggie's offer of help and asks her to go get milk for her and we as an audience can see this is a big moment for Nina.

Now imagine what it is to a staple of Whickber St. and someone who is not hesitant to tell her opinion about Nina's relationship and just so happens to be first in line, Mrs. Sandwich. I would not be surprised at all if she made a remark to Nina - a remark The Metatron overheard, so now he has the following information

they are friendly with Crowley

something is up with their relationship

But now it's his turn to order - and Maggie is back how long did your order take Sandwich!? - and asks for his oatmilk latte with almond syrup and his whole human picking coffee over death being predictable thing - and yet this isn't the end of their conversation

The next time we see Maggie and Nina they are getting ready to head back over to the bookshop but what got them on this conversation in the first place? That's right I'm suggesting the Metatron said or did something. Nothing to overt but something that got them thinking, talking, and maybe wanting to confront a certain duo about it

But back to the Metatron - he has entered the bookshop and interrupted Michael

Now the Metatron has always been a character that uses human expressions and his funny little words. But he comes right out the gate with balderdash and piffle so lets talk about them

They mean practically the same thing and yet he repeats it twice so why? I think it has something to do with their origins

Balderdash - although it is not certain it is said to originate during Shakespearean times, around this time though would have been used to describe a mixed drink

Piffle - started to appear 1860 - 1870ish

They are also both games and when you search them together it is a british show that goes into the origins of words - so yeah just keep those dates in mind

He uses Crowley to point out who he is - the demon who has a bad history with him, another subtle reminder of what going against Heaven gets you.

Then he starts up with the praise for Aziraphale who actually says his name, and we see a shift in tone from when he is addressing Aziraphale and then ordering the Archangels back to Heaven - which here is another one of the human phrases, spit spot

Spit spot - I don't know exactly when it was created but it is most commonly recognized as something Mary Poppins said, which the books where published between 1934 - 1988 with the movie coming out in 1964

But anyway (I promise there is a point to those) the Archangels reaction to him, Uriel's specifically. They are nervous, they are stuttering, they are praising him - they are groveling in front of him as if he were a king, and it reminds me of the scarecrow in the Wizard of Oz. But the Metatron has no time for them and dismisses them. (Lord I talk about this moment a lot)

Ah, just him and Aziraphale now (not really) and they need to have a chinwag

Chinwag - around the 1870s

In response to Aziraphale saying he has made his position quite clear he offers him the coffee - which we know is not something Aziraphale prefers to drink - he offers another option that Aziraphale would not normally take, foreshadowing much?

well I say offered but really it’s kinda shoved in his face.

He separates Aziraphale and Crowley - leaving Crowley behind with a glare and ominous music which really is the first blatant instance of us knowing that the something that is up - is bad

and guess who enters the bookshop - Maggie and Nina here to talk about relationships and interference - convenient timing almost like it was influenced by someone

We join back with the Metatron when he is telling Aziraphale he doesn’t have to make a decision yet and to go tell his friend the good news and then he blends back into the crowd to walk to Muriel at the coffee shop and encourages them to read books. He proceeds to stand up and look into the bookshop, watching

Now the bits of conversation we see from Aziraphale- I see this as a few possible different things

this is the actual conversation and Aziraphale is telling Crowley an edited version

this is the edited version that he is telling Crowley and something else happened

he didn’t edit it and this is actually what happened and what was told to Crowley

but all I know is we didn’t see this full conversation and it reminded me of the misunderstanding conversation between the Nuns last season - either way it's what we got to work with people

Before moving on there are a couple particular sentences I want to point out from this conversation - and I will get to these later

"It's why Gabriel came to you in the first place, I imagine. There are huge plans afoot, enormous projects, and I will need you to run them.”

"Yeah, I've been looking back over a number of your previous exploits, and I see that in quite a few of them you formed a de facto partnership with the demon, Crowley. Now, if you wanted to work with him again, that might be considered irregular, but it would certainly be within your jurisdiction to restore your friend, Crowley, to full angelic status”

The Aftermath

Upon entering the bookshop and getting Aziraphale to say what they both already know happened out loud - he immediately chimes in with the rhetoric of “this is how Crowley always was, he chose this and his actions are his own doing - you Aziraphale are making the right choice here, you can’t change those who don’t want to, those who are damned”

congratulations Metatron you got what you wanted - pls this is sarcastic I’m still salty

Now that he has basically taken care of everything in his way of getting Aziraphale to come with him - he asks if he is ready to go (at no point yet has Aziraphale actually said yes) and asks if he needs to bring anything with him, a dig and a probe to see if there is anything else. He then just starts walking, not waiting for Aziraphale - a manipulation tactic to pull him along

and on the walk to the lift and in waiting keeps giving Aziraphale praise and then finally revealing The Second Coming as he gets in the lift which makes Aziraphale have to choose - it’s the final one and he still has to make it seem as though he actually had a choice.

But what does this all mean? What was the point of doing all this? Why does he need Aziraphale?? What’s with the word choices?

What’s with your funny words, Magic Man?

some of the dates might have rang a little familiar - Shakespeare? the 1860s? Mary Poppins? They are all around the times Aziraphale and Crowley were meeting up - well duh they’ve been meeting up since practically forever

the Mary Poppins one you could look at two ways - the actual time period they were being released, which would have been the 1941 or 1967 dates, or the fact that Crowley inspired his Nanny look after her

Looking at past exploits indeed you were Metatron, or perhaps you were even there hmmmm…

EDIT

The Metatron just used words that are from some important times,

1601 - discussing their arrangement (them working together)

1862 - their holy water fight and then not talking to each other

1967 (or 1941) - they start working and meeting up again and the holy water disagreement is put to rest.

and then he eventually hits him with, "if you wanted to work with him again”

which interestingly enough seems to hit the insecurities that Aziraphale expressed in the coffee shop, on the head - that loss of structure and purpose.

Aziraphale and Crowley also just did some big moves on their own in the bookshop and heaven - ones they weren't working together on. “You came back” is starting to hit even harder

End Edit

But also The Metatron put emphasis on the word friend when referring to Crowley, for the most part he referred to him as “demon” until then, until he pulled his final card - such an interesting word that had such an impact on Aziraphale in 1941 - well played Metatron well played (I hate it)

Now this could have all been a coincidence - if Aziraphale hadn’t picked up on the same thing.

When he interrupts Crowley he says something along the lines, “what’s that lovely human expression, hold that thought”

Hold that thought - came into play around the 70s through 90s and gained popularity due to the rise of broadcast television, like the News. But there is one definition I want to point out as well - “Used to acknowledge that one's attention needs to be diverted from what a speaker was saying.”

or in other words, “remember all those human expressions the Metatron was saying, yeah those have meaning and so does the one I’m about to say - we are being watched don’t pay attention to my words” but well we aren’t gonna talk about it (pls I’m still coping)

The Metatron has certainly done his research - bringing up words and phrases from important times in their relationship - and The Metatron is certainly watching just like he was now

Why does he need Aziraphale?

Now if you remember back when I discussed who The Metatron was in scripture there is actually an interesting overlap between these two with Tree of Knowledge and The Tree of Life - The Beginning and The End. Aziraphale was always meant to have a special part in The Second Coming for the exact reasons The Metatron said - an angel of his talents, an angel who knows about humans - the angel that guards them

But even just ignoring all that - What literally just happened before he showed up

called for Heaven’s help in a time of trouble - the portal

discoporated a fuck ton of demons

declared War on Hell

took charge and was a mediator between Heaven and Hell

and he did this all on his own (I really doubt he counts Maggie and Nina)

Aziraphale did exactly what Heaven had planned - what Gabriel was meant to sign off on - he started back up the plan he put on pause with Crowley - he made that first move

but also the 25 Lazarii miracle - which set off alarms in Heaven - and the Halo - which also set off alarms in Heaven. That’s twice in one week. One would imagine The Metatron would take notice.

EDIT

Let's switch gears a little and talk about why The Metatron mentions Gabriel coming to Aziraphale in their little talk

Whatever other reason Gabriel may have had for going to Aziraphale, giving him something etc., it was all done under a baseline understanding.

That Aziraphale would get it, be a safe space with an understanding that they don't want everything to end for some similar reasons (their demon partners) - and Aziraphale did help him despite not knowing this exact baseline

He helped the Supreme Archangel hide from Heaven and escape punishment - who’s to say he wouldn't help other angels?

The reason The Metatron doesn't care about Gabriel and Beelzebub running off together is because they went off

Their relationship doesn't have the same level of connection to Earth and humans as Aziraphale and Crowley - they didn't want Armageddon to happen because they wanted to keep seeing each other, the Earth part was optional - a matter of circumstance as it was the easiest place to keep seeing each other. Now that they were gone and together - his reason for objecting is practically void.

That is not the same as Aziraphale and Crowley

But also it works in the Metatron favor - Beelzebub is out of Hell. The Grand Duke of Hell just up and left the same time Heaven is getting their replacement Supreme Archangel - it's now time for Hell to be in shambles.

All while The Metatron just came to snipped away the bud - that seed of safety on Earth if another Angel decided to go against Heaven’s plan.

If he gets the angel that put a stop to Armageddon- that chose the Earth over Heaven - that protected his executioner just at the hint he was on the run from Heaven. If he brought that angel back to Heaven he would not be able to be that anymore, do those things anymore - not with being closely monitored anyway. Keep your enemy close and all that.

And he pulled out all the stops to achieve this - the clothes, the words, the coffee

End Edit

But The Metatron also still needs the Bookshop for some reason - a bookshop he left in the care of an angel he just encouraged to read

So he gets the best of both worlds - The rogue angel back under his thumb and an angel that will listen to him going through the bookshop

What does this all mean? What’s the point?

Well he’s an angel in dark, an angel in reverse

When we went over the tarot cards he’s been linked to, but especially the King of Cups, he seems to represent the reverse side of them while trying to maintain the upright version- which is interesting

He’s an angel in trouble, an angel who needs a scapegoat

The Archangel Metatron is a controversial angel, his existence, his story, his position of power. He even has a story under his name where he is punished and demoted by God when someone assumes him to be another God in Heaven

The Metatron as a character that likes to be surrounded by fours, covered on all sides. And each and every one of those angels has done something to get them in trouble - meaning he has dirt.

After all every scribe needs their soldiers - however backhanded it is

and maybe he has something big he is hiding of his own - using the others faults to hide his - something concerning the Book of Life - either him not having it or at least not having all of it

But anyway he has set himself up to be protected from any fallout - he has not been seen, only heard for centuries probably. Sending angels in his place to do jobs (yes, I’m talking about the change to Gabriel being the one at the airbase - I’m giving it a reason)

Until now - until he walked into that bookshop and made himself known. He put himself in play thinking he knows the game, thinking he just brought in the perfect angel to blame things on if they all go wrong(which they will)

but really he just opened himself up to the start of his downfall. Double edged sword and all that

For the next season I imagine he is going to keep up the pleasantries, take up that backseat role, act as a guide, being subtle in his manipulations - he after all believes he got away with it - just all those things until it all comes crumbling down and he gets exposed, and at the center of it all is Aziraphale (and then Aziraphale gets offered his position which he turns down, saying no to Heaven and choosing to be with Crowley) what? I said nothing.

(I think that’d be funny and this is a comedy after all)

It’s the Punishment of an Angel, the Fall of a King

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and that’s all folks - that’s the end- for now. Hope you’ve enjoyed -I had to watch the final 15 so many times and I’m totally ok

#good omens #good omens 2 #the metatron #metatron #aziraphale #crowley #good omens meta #good omens analysis #good omens character analysis #good omens theory #good omens metatron #maggie and nina

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