#So is Nikozai

[castielx3]

.•🪻Introduction🎭 •.

————- . . .

⏳Last Updated: 11/02/24. . .

⭐️Hello! Im Castiel, but i go by Cas, casey, or Cassy, sometimes even Kaz.

⭐️Some info on me is in my bio, on the carrd link. This should show you a page with some info i made, and if you have any questions, feel free to ask me!

⭐️Pronouns: He/they/she/it (preference fluctuates, will be shown in bio!)

⭐️Sexuality: Omnisexual, polyamory, and possibly somewhere on the aromantic spectrum! Romantic love is confusing.. (Im also not interested in anything to do with dating someone at the moment unless that someone is close to me and i know them well!)

⭐️What my tumblr is about: Nothing specific! I post art, photography, just random images and yapping, etc! Whatever comes to my mind!

..

Im gonna stop yapping!!!

…for now, atleast. :3

[rredbirdii]

boys animation meme - dazai harem edition

[morphestic]

i love rare pairs

[fluffyyymocha]

dazai has no business being the whore that he is. why the fuck is he out here having sexual tension with virtually every man he meets?

[th3archivisst]

a little pet peeve of mine about the bsd fandom is how every second post is skk

like

yeah

they’re gay

but after a while it gets old?? no hate to skk, it’s a good ship, i just think we should also be talking about dazai having chemistry with LITERALLY ALL THE MEN ON THE SHOW yk

there are so many other characters you can say are his soulmates?? let me list them.

fyodor. he is the only other character in the show who understands dazai completely, they quite literally finish each other’s sentences half the time.

sigma. they would be the softest couple ever. he would teach dazai to give more of a shit about himself and dazai would actually be able to give sigma a home in the ada

kunikida. sure, dazai pisses him off, but it’s a very playful type of thing. kunikida would teach dazai to be less analytic, to listen to his emotions more, and dazai would (not in the best way but still) teach kunikida to work through his anger issues

if i wasn’t currently in public transportation i would be able to list more but point is

chuuya and dazai are the most popular ship mainly because they have a backstory together. if you discard that, or headcanon a past for him with, EVERYONE could be his soulmate

okay fine this post is about how much i need more dazai harem in my life

[daz4i]

oh wait i did promise a full dazai and nikolai comparison post didn’t i. time to deliver. no keep reading button, we’re clogging everyone’s dashboards like men. enjoy

clowning

so. i doubt i need to elaborate much on nikolai’s clowning - it’s very plainly put in the text, he along with other characters constantly call him a clown, and he obviously takes on a clown persona.

nikolai’s method of clowning is to take it to the extreme - everything he says sounds like a joke or pure nonsense, making you doubt everything that comes out of his mouth immediately, even when he’s saying the truth.

dazai’s is only slightly more subtle. i’m basing this on no longer human, given that so much of his character is based on yozo. dazai puts on a mask of a carefree, funny, lazy guy, especially to the agency, just like yozo does

his method of clowning is to seem genuine. pepper in just enough truth to make others believe him. seem reliable enough to make others trust him. but never showing his full self, so you should doubt everything he says

ultimately, the same outcome, done with different methods

so, we all agree they both do it. now, let’s analyze why. dazai’s is more obvious imo, so let’s start with him. 

with the agency specifically, it makes sense, gotta appear nonthreatening n all, seem like a normal guy with absolutely no past in the mafia (at least at first). i’d also say it can be used to make his enemies underestimate him - no one expects the goofy silly guy to pull a knife on them, after all, and you definitely don’t expect him to be a mastermind.

on a deeper level, if we go back to the yozo train of thought, it’s also to protect himself. no one can leave you, hurt the deeper parts of your soul, attack you personally if they can’t figure out who you are. no one can get close enough to matter to you then get taken away, the way oda was.

nikolai’s reasoning is less grounded in canon or external works (that i know of), so feel free to disagree with that part (with any part of this post tbh.) but in my interpretation, he does it for multiple reasons:

same as dazai, not letting anyone close enough to get him to care. nikolai sees bonds as something chaining him down - he cares about fyodor and sees him as a friend, and that’s why he wants to kill him. if you see him, he will care about you, and he can’t have that. better to have the self inflicted cage of a mask than have the key in someone else’s hands, if you wanna be poetic about it.

chaos! a lot of what nikolai does is to subvert expectations, be illogical, to prove the existence of his free will. nothing more chaotic than a clown

to contrast dazai, rather than make his enemies underestimate him, nikolai’s intention is to make his teammates underestimate him. he’s trying to throw their suspicions off him - oh, he defied the plan fyodor set up? well, can’t blame him, he always does silly shit like that. look how crazy that guy is, obviously he can’t follow orders - so he can freely do what he wants and only have them catch up way later.

already, we see a lot of similarities, as well as opposites-within-the-same-action. let’s continue

death

tldr: both are supposedly willing to die, yet still avoid death.

dazai sure managed to survive a lot of suicide attempts, huh! weird how all of his on screen attempts - especially since oda’s death - have been using methods that are easily to survive, like drowning. that’s so strange guys i wonder why’s that (psst i wrote a whole post just about that already)

and nikolai sure did give a dramatic speech about how dying will set him free, very convincing! weird that he faked his death, then. hmmm.

granted, nikolai’s speech might’ve been The Page’s work, but tbf it does align with his views on this topic so i’d like to believe there was some truth there, just like there’s some truth in dazai’s suicide attempts - yes, they want to die, but... there’s more to be done first.

both of them seem to hold a high value in the act of dying, and both see it as being set free. both feel trapped in their own life - nikolai outright says so, that he feels caged inside his own head, and if you dig into dazai’s character song you see him describe life as a “never-ending today”. both see death as salvation from their situation, but won’t get down to achieving it.

this is actually a good place to transition to our next topic,

meaning

since i mentioned dazai’s character song, one thing he seems to focus on there is looking for meaning, or rather being frustrated that he hasn’t found one yet (he also brings up this internal conflict in the dark era, but the song solidifies it as relevant even in his current state). dazai tries so hard to find meaning, but can’t.

nikolai’s fixation on free will, i’d argue, is not quite a search for meaning, but rather a struggle to prove there is no greater meaning in life, in order to ease his own guilt. none of his murders matter at the end of the day... right? then why does he still feel this way?

ironically, both can find meaning in their bonds - dazai has many at this point, with oda being the main one he might’ve found meaning in before, and nikolai has fyodor - but this is scary. they’re not used to having meaning, to caring. and so we circle back to the clowning, to pushing people away, to wanting to kill fyodor, to the comfort and familiarity of no meaning. 

guilt

like onions and ogres, clowns have layers. bear with me here.

on the surface, you’d expect them both to feel guilt for their horrendous acts. peel a layer, and it seems neither of them particularly does, otherwise they would stop doing it, you’d assume. peel back another layer, and... honestly, i think they do, but are just repressing it.

this is smth i get less from the text and more from their real life counterparts, tbh. going back to the yozo comparisons, he does outright say “i’ve lived a life filled with guilt” which. is very fair to expect to hear from our dazai. meanwhile the real life gogol straight up died because of his guilt. i don’t think asagiri would overlook stuff like that when turning them into characters.

nikolai also does outright tell atsushi he feels guilty for the atrocities he committed - though, pretends he didn’t mean it immediately after, putting back one of those layers we tried to peel.

going back to dazai’s song, it’s the “the tainted past, too, begone!” line that i feel is nodding to it. dazai obviously knows the things he’s done while in the mafia are wrong, seems like he knew while being in the mafia as well given his conversations with oda during the dark era. but this really does make it seem like he regrets it, imo.

they’re both repressing their guilt for the same reason they won’t die. there’s more important shit going on. dazai outright tells atsushi that wallowing in guilt is pointless, and we see him move forward and execute plans even if he’s still feeling guilty throughout, and even when he needs to do some dirty work to make them happen. nikolai is the same in that regard - he’s just hyperfocused on this goal of proving his free will, and guilt is another thing that’s keeping him caged, so he must break free from it. wallowing in it will simply be counterproductive.

sorry i gotta talk abt fyodor now

but it’s gonna be short i promise

so we’ve got this all knowing, unbeatable, super smart guy, right? anyway what if the only people we see outsmart him were 2 suicidal clowns. wouldn’t that be funny

so, it’s a bit tricky to call it “outsmarting” with dazai considering how their whole Thing is give and take that’s not going to end any time soon, but fyodor obviously views him as someone on his level so i’m counting that. he wouldn’t put this much effort into someone he didn’t think was less smart than him. and, he calls him a worthy chess opponent for a reason

nikolai did outsmart him, though. nikolai was supposed to die. nikolai wasn’t meant to survive the plan, let alone come to meursault and put fyodor in a death game when he could’ve escaped using the vampiric guard he planted in the prison instead. nikolai is throwing an unpredictable wrench in the plan of the guy who knows how everything is gonna turn out because humans are so predictable.

clearly they both affect him a lot, more than we see others have. both of them are the only ones so far we’ve seen get on the same level as fyodor

and, both of them are seen by fyodor. nikolai explicitly says fyodor is the only person who sees him, and dazai is seen because they are the same, on a certain level. fyodor understands them, which is why it’s even more impressive that they can outsmart him, imo

in conclusion

asagiri i am on my knees begging. make them interact properly please please please

fr tho, i’m curious if this means something. because this is a huge amount of similarities, especially when they’re not really related in any way and barely ever talked. does it mean anything?? how about nikolai being able to use his ability on dazai, does that mean anything????? asagiri please give me some answers i am asking so nicely

anyway. thank you for reading! lmk if i missed anything, or reblog with your own additions and analysis. if you disagree with anything i said, feel free to express that as well, just be respectful. hope i managed to infect you with my brainrot as well. have a great day :3!

[im-a-chunky-potato]

Hi Potato! Just curious, have you ever written for nikozai? platonically or not?

also, use this ask as an excuse to rant about them if you want :)

Ehehe glad you asked! I don't know if this counts, but here's something I wrote a bit of. (Sorry I'm sharing the whole thing since I've never published it anywhere else)

Nikolai sat in a security room in Meursalt, holding a knife in his hand. Blood dripped down the side of the knife and slid down his legs, leaving a red trail in its path. Scattered all around him were dead officers.

He glanced at the security camera. It seemed as if Dazai and Fyodor were speaking a different language and having a heated conversation.

Nikolai yawned. Games of cat and mouse never really were his thing, and this was positively boring! But Fedya did ask him to do this, so how could he not comply.

Although... something was off about Fyodor. Nikolai may not be a genius, but he certainly wasn't a fool either. The way he was obsessing over this mission, how he was always scheming and plotting.

This wasn't him. Or at least it wasn't how Nikolai remembered him. He seemed to have completely lost his humanity in the process of this.

He brushed off his fears. This was Dos-kun he's talking about, of course he had a plan. And Nikolai was a large part of the plan, his job was to watch carefully and break them out when it was time.

But admittedly, something had started to draw his eyes towards Dazai instead of Fyodor in this place.

It's hard to explain. Whether it was the softer eyes he had or the way he spoke so adamantly about his allies, Nikolai was intrigued.

Fedya could never be like that. He had far too many trust issues and relied heavily on control.

...control. Of course Nikolai had some feeling he was being controlled, but it was merely a hunch. And Fyodor knew him better than anyone else, so why would he need or want to control him?

That was a foolish question to ask, and Nikolai was well aware of that fact. But he didn't want to be alone in this world.

At that moment, something Dazai said caught his attention. "The ones who actually make this world turn are those who scream within the storm of uncertainty and run either flowing blood."

He held faith in his people, and did not hold them tight but rather let them do as they please...

Nikolai set down his knife and paced around the office. Now he was no idiot. He would have more freedom on Dazai's side, which is exactly what his mind yearned for. But he neither had the skills nor the mindset to step forth into the light.

And that would involve leaving Fedya. He knew deep in his heart that Fedya wouldn't mind, but he did. He didn't want to leave him alone.

Nikolai strayed deeper into his thoughts, falling into an endless abyss of considering what was more important in his life; his "friend" or his freedom.

His eyes soon found their way back to the screen where the two men were still arguing. But to Nikolai's shock, Dazai turned directly towards the camera and gave him a smirk.

Dazai knew. But how? He couldn't have snuck anything into the prison, could he? No, this prison was the safest place on Earth.

But suddenly it clicked in his mind. Thwre had to be a camera somewhere. He walked around the room, carefully inspecting every panel in the room. Nothing.

He checked every floorboard, every desk, Even every person. Nothing still.

Suddenly he got the odd feeling to check his knife. Low and behold, a small camera and microphone was hidden in the hilt.

Nikolai stared at the knife in his hand before stealing one of the security guards gun and shooting it.

He glanced back at Dazai, who pouted before continuing his argument with Fyodor.

Nikolai couldn't believe this. It was absurd. Dazai-kun, messing with him, while in prison?

Before long he started to giggle. Then that giggling turned into full on laughing. Dazai was providing him such a fun game to play, and he was willing to indulge for longer.

Fyodor would never allow him to do something like this... it wouldn't be necessary to his plan as he would say.

But Dazai was doing this, while keeping Fyodor distracted. The guy had potential. And Nikolai hadn't laughed this long in a while.

This feeling he was experiencing was not unusual to him. After all, it was quite similar to how he felt towards Fyodor.

Bloodlust. He wanted to see Dazai dead at his hands, choked to death by his own bandages.

After all, Dazai was staying in his mind for far too long. He couldn't be truly free if he kept thinking about him.

But no, that wasn't entirely true. He wanted Dazai to have a conversation with him, to hear all that Nikolai had to say.

My, what a conundrum. But luckily he was already planning the great prison escape between the 2 geniuses

Suddenly, Fyodor revealed the signal they planned since the beginning of this, and Nikolai summoned the portals to take Fyodor and Dazai away.

It was decided. Whoever won this game would win his heart and soul.

Well then...

Let the Nikolai games begin.

Ramblings:

What I love about Nikozai is how it contrasts so well with Fyolai! You can do a lot of drama.

And depending on how you view both Nikolai and Dazai, it can take so many shapes and forms! It can either be the pranks of two clowns, a serious talk between the two of them, or anything in between! I love the possible variety<3

Sorry this is a long post already so I won't keep you for long hehe. But Nikozai is weirdly possible to work with.

Like Dazai already has connections to both Fyodor and Sigma, so it's fun to imagine the gossip they'd share with each other. Or Nikolai has already met Atsushi, so how would he speak of him?

Anyways yeah I think that's it for now hehe. Thank you so much for this ask!!!

[clown-demon]

((Gonna go to beddy bye.. idk when I'll be getting to other threads.. work has just been exhausting...

[clown-demon]

"Oh.. Oda.. right? I know you mentioned him before.. But-- I think I have really vague memories of him. He was really nice... he was one who.. I think-- he was really nice to me.. and never judged me or was mean.." Yumeno said softly, doing their best to recall memories of Oda.. He wasn't exactly a high ranking member, so they didn't remember much due to being so young. But.. they did have some memories of the man.

"Yeah, and you guys can bring some flowers from my garden. You guys can pick out whatever flowers you want to bring to his grave. Oda-kun would be another uncle to you guys. I never met him myself-- but he's important to Dazai-kun so he's important to us too~."

"It's a little more than a picnic. We're also visiting my best friend's grave. I have been too busy with you guys and work to go and clean it and leave offerings. He loved kids, I'm sure it would make him happy to know you guys came with me."

Kotori blinked, but smiled. "What are you gonna leave on his grave?"

"Some flowers. Your Papa made a little statue to put with it as well."

[musicalmoritz]

Why do fandoms hate non-monogamy?

I find it so confusing that the only hate comments I’ve ever received on ao3 have been about non-monogamy of all things. I don’t consider my writing to be massively shocking or controversial but I do occasionally write about some darker subjects (cannibalism, legal age gaps, couples carving their names into each other’s backs, lesbian serial killers), and these are the fics I typically brace myself for pushback on. Again, even the darker stuff doesn’t get too dark, I tend to fluff things up a bit. But these fics end up receiving overwhelming support, which I’m very grateful for

Still though, when I write stuff like that, you can imagine my confusion when people instead choose to hate on my open relationship fics. At least if it were something pertaining to violence I could be like “okay I get it, this subject makes some people uncomfortable.” When it’s simply stretching the bounds of heteronormativity or interpreting the characters differently, the comments end up feeling particularly aggressive. I’m talking a kind of hate I’ve only experienced within Southern Baptist churches

You literally cannot look me in the eyes and tell me that Hisoka and Illumi would have a monogamous relationship. That is so completely different from their canon dynamic, where they’re already implied to have something going on but Hisoka is seen thirsting over other characters frequently. The first hate comment was about them and I was a little petty about it, I called the commenter out in the description of the fic. I have since then deleted the callout but I kinda wish I hadn’t. Though I’ve heard there’s a hatebot on HisoIllu ao3 so that might have been the problem

The other ship was Cherik, which comes down more to interpretation. Although they are one of my favorite ships ever, I do multiship with them and I feel as though their relationships with women are very valuable to both of them. I know because of the ending to Dark Phoenix, a lot of people like to give them a stereotypical Hallmark happily ever after but I just can’t completely see them like that. At least not during the bulk of the franchise, which is where my fic took place. I think they are soulmates but they have other shit going on, and other people in their lives they wouldn’t want to give up (I’m very attached to Erik’s relationship with Magda from the comics so shhhh). Writing them as an old married couple before they’ve worked everything out just isn’t realistic to me

And Soukoku, omg Soukoku. This one wasn’t a hate comment but someone decided to mention in a bookmark they made for one of my fics that they didn’t like how Dazai and Chuuya weren’t fully together and still saw other people. I don’t write for Soukoku anymore as I really only “ship” them in the manga, their dynamic is perfect as it is and I don’t need to see anything added to that. But that’s simply a matter of preference, there are plenty of fans who do want to see them run off and get married and you know what? If I ended up reading a fic like that, I wouldn’t bookmark it just to complain that I’d prefer if they weren’t married. Soukoku is like the least heteronormative ship ever, c’mon guys. Their dynamic is so unique and complex and you want to see them settle down with 5 kids?? To each their own ig but don’t tell me how you want to see them fanonized😭

Those aren’t the only ships I’ve written open relationships with, at least I don’t think so. I’m pretty sure some of my Fyozai and Nikozai fics have been like that as well. Which makes me even more annoyed because I know it’s just because HisoIllu, Cherik, and Soukoku are massively popular ships within their respective fandoms and people want to see them characterized the exact same way every time. When there’s such an overload of content for all three of them, you’d think people would be less picky. If you don’t like how I write them that’s completely fine, just go read a different fic. I promise you there’s no shortage, Soukoku is one of the top ships on ao3. I don’t really like the way Soukoku and Cherik are characterized by their fandoms so when I write them, I try to provide something different. It’s good to have variety in the type of content that exists for ships, I’ve had a lot of Soukoku fans thank me for highlighting Chuuya’s flaws rather than making Dazai the only villain in their relationship. It may not be for you, but there are some people who will enjoy it. If you don’t like it just move on and read something else

Overall I think the issue here is heteronormativity (take a shot every time I write that word). It’s perfectly fine if you want your ships to have a storybook romance where they get married and have babies at the end, I’m like that with most of my ships. But keep in mind that there are different types of relationships, and not everyone wants to read the same thing. That’s my favorite part of multishipping, some ships don’t exist as full relationships to me and that’s great. It gives me the opportunity to explore different dynamics- friends with benefits, one-sided pining, besties who flirt, emotionally married but never confessed. People really only seem okay with this variety of the ship isn’t popular, or if it’s not the main pairing for a character. Nobody bats an eye when I write Fyozai as non-monogamous because at the end of the day, most of those readers want to see Dazai end up with Chuuya. Popular ships deserve variety too though, a lot of readers are secretly missing that. We’ve seen Soukoku written the same way a million times, so why not mix it up?? One fic of them being non-monogamous won’t hurt anybody. You can still interpret them however you want to, but don’t send hate to fans who don’t share the same opinion

Not everyone has the same relationship experience, and fiction should reflect that. There’s a common complaint that love stories are repetitive, so writers should be encouraged to take a different approach to romance. Those relationships aren’t any less valuable than “traditional” ones, they can be just as meaningful and life-changing. I’ll even bring TBHK into this; while I prefer to imagine Teru and Akane having some fairytale ending together, it’s so refreshing to see most fans giving them an angsty slowburn well into their 30s. It’s something you don’t see with every ship, and it fits them well. That’s the beauty of fan fiction, everyone interprets the characters slightly differently so we get to explore different concepts with them. In that sense, even the overused tropes feel unique every time. So don’t shame someone for stepping further outside popular fan interpretation, they’re just proving some variety that many readers may enjoy

[castielx3]

Nikolai fisheye plushie edition!!!! My desk is also a mess i paint a lot here and i dont have one of those thingies that keeps the canvas held up at the moment so it gets all over the place (im also just probably more aggressive than necessary with my paintings…)

[gogolarty]

Magic! I forgot to post this almost, whoops! Probably my last NikoZai for NikoZai week prompts. Doing so many two characters in a row really takes a lot out of me.

Also this one I had to really push myself, cuz previously I had it colored and clip crashed and I couldn't recover it (probably cuz my internet was dead at that time.)

[nikozaiti]

NikoZai on the puter sketch that someone on twt wanted done so I did it.

[luverbov]

What do you think about Nikozai? >_< I'm a multishipper but idk if it's solid enough of a ship.. (Nikolai x Dazai)

₍ᐢ..ᐢ₎ Nikozai 𓄹

Clown-to-clown communication is real and its Nikozai 's dynamic

“ Nothings better than 2 gay clowns who want Fyodor dead, right? “

ᐢ..ᐢ I've actually never thought of this ship until now cos honestly I see them more as silly goober best-friends than lovers and also like they've never communicated at all except Mersault and passing Fyodors amputated arm around like hot-potato. ( overused joke? IDC ITS FUNNY )

I see them plotting murders against Fyodor and doing everything- and I mean everything, in their power to annoy the poor Russian, like putting salt instead of sugar in his coffee, putting pepper in his medicine, stealing his ushakna and jump-scaring him (in which, Fyodor predicts but goes along with a sarcastic scream)

Poor Sigma probably has to deal with their bullshit a lot, he has to keep them in line, basically babysitting the two, and they never listen because they're just silly like that Σ (°o°；）

Average conversation between Nikozai either would contain the most jaw-dropping, eye-melting, brain-clenching, eyelash-flying, knee-shaking, dick-hardening, nose-shrinking, toe-curling, ankle-beatboxing, address-doxxing, finger-licking shit ever or it's just stupid conversations about...cats and birds. (i have no idea what i just wrote )

Definitely both touch starved so they're often kissing, hugging, giving piggy-back rides, cuddling, holding hands and both like PDA ( they could not give less of a fuck about the people watching )

If you want me to do Nikozai head-canons comment/request it and I'll make a seperate post for Nikozai headcanons because even as someone who doesn't ship Nikozai, I have a bunch of ideas...

“ I envy you. A bird born in a cage doesn't notice it's a prisoner “

⊹　 ︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶　 ୨୧　 ︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶　 ⊹

[kaeyx]

nikozai brat taming reader 🫶 i feel like they get along w each other so well in a way

I think Nikolai can completely disregard any bratting by default. Oh you're trying to rile him up in public? Okay, he'll fuck you in the nearest secluded spot. You're teasing him and trying to turn him on but then running off? You can't run from him, he'll happily ignore all your protests in favour of pinning you down and taking what he wants.

[drowninginbeauty]

Hey~ I've heard I may have fans on this website, so why not join, just for you guys?~

Run by the same admin as @swimminginyokohamasrivers, @upholderofjustice, @blood-soaked-amaryllis, @rocker-chuuya, and @official-lord-of-perfect-crimes!!

This is a side blog so i dont think i can follow ppl back unnnfortunately!!

Timeline is nondescript sonce this is an au

He/They/She pronouns for dazai, He/It for the admin pleasee!

Light nsfw/suggestive asks are okay, but nothing explicit.

Shipping asks are ok as long as they arent illegal or weird! Though i have a preference for soukoku, kunizai, kunichuuzai, souheki, maybe nikozai?