#So if i project onto him sometimes it helps me not do horrible things to myself and fuck everything up more
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gunkbaby · 9 months ago
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I hope me using my bpd/projecting it to discuss Shuu doesn’t offend anyone. I’m never saying he canonically has it or anything but i just use him as a way to not see myself as a psycho bitch or whatever. It helps sometimes, and i just see me in him or him in me. I hope that’s ok.
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gloomskulls · 1 month ago
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LIMERENCE [tasm!peter parker]
pairings: tasm!peter parker x reader
part 2
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warning(s): obessive peter, creep peter, stalking, masturbation, panty sniffing, dirty thoughts, breaking in, just peter being hopelessly in love. If any of this finds you uncomfortable, please click out do yourself (and me also) a favor. lemme know if I missed any! MINORS DO NOT READ
summary: For Peter Parker, the deepest secret is not being Spider-Man. It's that he likes you, no he loves you, wants you in any imaginable way possible. After years of quietly admiring you from a distance, everything changes after a biology project that partners you two together. Peter sees a glimpse of chance to get nearer to you, but the line of affection and obsession begins to blur
If you don't want to see my dark stories in the future please block the tag #madi: dark content
A/n: my first ever fic posted on Tumblr, yippee! This is also my first ever smut so it probs be equivalent to horse poo but anyways, this also takes place in tasm 2. don't steal any of the shit I've written or else i'm gonna turn you into Vicky from Terrifier/srs
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Peter didn't understand what was so special about you, you were just a crush. Or that's what he convinced himself. Every single place you were in, Peter would carefully trail behind you, like there was a magnet strapped onto you, and Peter was the metal, he would always find himself drawing next to you. Peter Parker was no stranger to keeping secrets. It was, after all, the epitome of his double life. A mask, a costume, a name that wasn't his at all. There was one secret, however, that even the Spider-Man's mask couldn't cover—his growing infatuation towards you.
It started out really simple. You decided to give back the nerdy boy's pencil in sophomore year and defended him from Flash Thompson in his junior year, it was all simple really, something a person with decency and was taught with proper manners would do. But Peter took it as more than that.
Candid photos here and there, purposefully falling of his skateboard so you would help him, cryptic notes in your locker, sometimes a random flower if Peter was lucky to find any.
Limerence, as some might say
The first people who would ever notice Peter's strange behavior where the people who raised him. Uncle Ben would notice this girl in the screen of his nephew's computer, so did Aunt May when she saw many polaroid photos of the same face underneath Peter's bed. Peter shrugged it off, saying the same exact words to the both of them.
'she's just a crush'
Peter Parker was very good at being hidden in the open. Sure, he didn't want to be invisible, but it is what it is. One of the self-working "losers" with horrible punchlines and pretty much the face screaming "nerd". Well, it didn't bother Peter much. He had many other more important things to think about. You
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It's been years now. It was already the last year of senior year, graduation was already nearing, still, he hasn't mustered up the courage to do speak to you, afraid that you won't reciprocate the same feelings he has. His been watching you from a distance, stealing glances in class and making mental notes on all the little things you did, like doodling on the corners of your notebooks or, how you tucked your hair behind your ear when you were concentrating. He knew that it was weird, creepy even, but Peter couldn't stop himself.
So, when Mr. Warren announced a paired project for biology, Peter's internal monologue kicked into overdrive.
"Pair work begins today," Mr. Warren said, his smile a gruff overture that still Peter thought unnecessary. "Choose your partners wisely, just choose somebody you will along with. You can really screw up over this project if you don't!"
The room broke out into a low buzz as students shuffled their chairs and moved toward their friends. Peter didn't move. He never did. Choosing a partner was like finding a needle in a haystack type of task for him
Alright, Pete, it is not such a big deal. You are not going to end up with her or anything. Just relax, find someone cool, and—
"Peter!"
Your voice broke through his thoughts, and he looked up to see you in front of his desk, clutching a notebook to your chest
"By any chance do you have a partner? My friends kind of made their own pairs" you asked, your lips curving into an easy smile.
Peter blinked. His brain short-circuited.
"N-nope. I'm totally solo. Flying solo. A lone wolf. A…"
"Awesome! Then let's team up."
Peter turned to you, his mind racing, he blinked, trying to absorb this. You were choosing him? He nodded frantically; his heart was hammering at a top speed that he was convinced you could hear it
You smiled at him, you fucking smiled at him
For the rest of the class Mr. Warren instructed everyone to plan for the project for the rest of the class. You kept bouncing ideas back and forth, and Peter felt a strange, thrilling sensation of in his heart. You were funny, clever, and surprisingly very easy to communicate with. Every time you laughed at one of his jokes, he felt like he was soaring.
When the bell rang, you packed your things and turned to him. "We should work on this at my place. Tomorrow after school?"
Peter nearly dropped his notebook. "Uh, yeah. Totally. I mean, yes. That works. Perfect. So super normal."
You laughed again. "Cool. Here's my address."
And with that, you scribbled it on a scrap of paper and handed it to him before walking away, leaving Peter frozen in his seat.
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That night, Peter was sitting in his room staring at the address. To most people, that was just a little detail, probably not even worth a second thought. But to Peter, it was an invitation, or perhaps a key, even just for a second to get into your life. To know every little thing about you
Unfortunately, though, that's not enough.
He felt his hands shaking as he opened the drawer in his desk to reveal a small trove of hidden treasures; poorly taken pictures of you from a distance, bits of paper that you had thrown away during math class, and a small stash of hair strands that he meticulously collected from your hair comb when you weren't looking
This was love, wasn't it? The desperate consuming desire to be around her, to know everything about you.
And tomorrow, he shall get his chance.
You invited him, but Peter just knew it was really more than what you would ever willingly give.
His love was a web, and you were stepping into it, one delicate thread at a time.
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Peter stood outside your house with a crumpled piece of paper clutched in his rather sweaty hand. The address on it was correct, but doubt clouded him. What if she had forgotten about this meeting? What if this was simply a joke? No, she would never do that, he tried to convince himself
Peter Parker was standing at your porch. Each thump of his heart sounded like one of the drums in the music club. He raised his hand to knock, hesitating for a moment. Maybe it was a terrible idea to come here after all; he could fake being sick, sending her an apology while rescheduling. Just then, the door swung open before he even had the chance to run.
"Hey, you found my house, I actually thought you would get lost cause I wrote the wrong color of the rooftop on the note" you said while stepping aside to let him enter.
"I was actually hesitant to knock, because it didn't look like the description" He quietly said. You actually got everything right, I was just being a huge pussy so I didn't come immediately, he thought to himself.
"Come in. I have started working on the diagram."
Peter plasted a grin and forced his legs down inside. "Well, look at you. Overachieving already. I guess I'll just sit back and let you do all the hard work."
You rolled your eyes and laughed, your voice making him feel that the world wasn't so bad after all. "Nice try, Parker. Grab a marker. You're on label duty."
"Come on, we can work in the dining area," you said, leading him across the house.
The dining table was already loaded with supplies, with textbooks scattered everywhere, colored pencils, sheets of poster paper, you name it. You positioned herself and gestured to him to join you.
You fell into a rhythm, your hand sketching the parts of the circulatory system while Peter scrawled out the labels in his neatest handwriting. He cracked jokes every few minutes, drawing out your laughter like a lifeline. It would be so easy to lose himself in the moment, pretend that you both were just two friends hanging out and not a guy hopelessly infatuated with someone who didn't even know half the truth about him.
Both of you had a relatively smooth first hour of working, few questions were asked here and there on the project. Peter kept his answers short, being extra cautious with what to share, but it seemed you did not mind. You sketched diagrams, jotting down notes with an ease that made Peter's hands tremble every time he made an attempt to help.
"So Peter," you suddenly announced after the silence, "why is it that you don't talk very much? At school I mean"
The question staggered him, rendering him blank while the colored pencil just hovered above the page.
Peter jerked up his head and looked surprised. "What do you mean? Talking is what I do. I mean, there's even people begging me to stop."
You smirked but didn't let it down. "I mean really, you're funny but I know nothing about you. What's your thing, Peter Parker?"
He didn't answer immediately but fiddled with the marker. "I'm just… some guy. Pretty boring, honestly. Not much to tell."
Your expression softened, "I don't buy that. You're not boring".
Your words made Peter's chest tighter. He wanted to believe you, yet the voice at the back of his mind reminded how wrong youwere. If you only knew the real him, the guy who had spent countless nights staring at your window, memorizing your every move, you wouldn't be smiling and sitting here before him.
"Hey, don't overthink it. You're cool. Let's just finish this masterpiece, okay?" you said, flicking his arm before he could answer.
Peter smiled forcedly
And when they finished the day's work, you walk him to the door once more, your smile as warm as ever.
"Thanks for coming over," you said. "You're actually a pretty decent partner, Parker."
"Decent?!" Peter gasped, clutching his chest in mock offense. "Wow. Don't hold back; tell me how you really feel."
And you laughed, shaking your head. "I'll see you tomorrow."
Peter waved. You waved back at him, as he strolled down the street, but he did not go very far. Instead, he found himself across the street in the same place, hidden under the shadow of the oak tree.
you were in your living room again, curled around a blanket and a pillow as you watched whatever was on your screen, your face glowing softly from the light of the television. Peter leaned against the tree with both hands shoved in his jacket pockets and simply watched.
How long he'd been there, he couldn't tell, but he didn't want to leave. This was the closest he ever felt with you, even if you didn't know he was here.
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He knew this was crossing the line, but he couldn't help himself. He found himself sneaking into your house. Now he really felt like a robber trying to intrude a home, expect he wasn't really going to steal anything, or so he thought.
It was late at night, you and your family were already asleep at this point
Peter knew that the right thing to do was to head home. He knew for sure that this crossed a line even he wasn't sure he could come back from. But before he could stop himself, he was moving, slipping across the street and into the shadows of your yard.
His palms were slick with sweat as he scanned the side of the house. The metal trellis leading up to your window wasn't very solid, but it would hold him if he was careful.
He carefully climbed the trellis, not putting too much weight on it. And his heart was pounding as he got to your window, his fingers brushing against the cool glass.
It wasn't locked.
At that moment, his body froze. The rational part of him screamed to stop, to climb back down and pretend this never happened. But then his hand was on the window. And that soft sound of it sliding open seemed to be deafeningly loud in the stillness of the night.
He slipped into his feet and landed silently on the carpeted floor. Your room smelled of lavender and something warm and sweet like vanilla. A little bit of moonlight filtered through the curtains and brightened the room in pale silver.
There she was
You laid curled up in your bed, the blankets pulled up to your shoulders, your face peaceful in sleep. Peter’s breath caught in his throat. You looked so serene, so utterly perfect, that it made his chest ache.
He stood there for what felt like an eternity, just watching you. He wasn’t sure what he was expecting to feel—satisfaction, maybe, or relief. But all he felt was a strange mix of awe and guilt.
This was wrong.
He knew it.
But he couldn’t bring himself to leave.
He looked around your room, it was full of polaroids of either you or your friends.
He started walking around your room quietly, careful to not wake you up in your slumber, because God knows what will happen if you saw him in your room with all its glory, he couldn't even imagine the disgust on your face.
But one thing caught his eye
Your bathroom was open, and in your bathroom was a basket with what he assumed inside were dirty laundry.
He knew it was disgusting, heck, over the top creep award would probably go to him, but he found himself walking towards the bathroom. It was wrong, but he still did it, he needs to get help, he thought to himself.
One second ago he was walking towards your bathroom, next thing you knew he was rummaging through your dirty laundry, occasionally smelling some of your shirts. He cherished the way your scent overwhelmed his nose, he was in Cloud 9.
While he was rummaging, a little piece of clothing caught his eye. With shaky hands he picked up the piece of clothing, it was your pink underwear with little cherries scattered everywhere as design.
He brought it near to his nose. He suddenly sat down in the neat cold tiles of the bathroom floor, he smelt it as if it was his oxygen.
He let out a small moan. He didn't know if it was an invisible force making him do such things, but he found his hands unbuttoning his pants
Peter Parker sat in the rest room; hand clasped tight around the lacy edge of the pink panty. He took out his hardened length of his boxers. The scent of dirty panties wafted his nose.
He imagined you wrapped around his throbbing cock, he thought of the feeling of your tight little pussy riding his cock, he wanted the sweet nectar from your lips, while having a feast on your quivering hole. His cock throbbed in his palms, his hands were much faster now, stroking his hardened cock. He had to bite his tongue to keep himself from moaning
Why was he doing this? You were literally there, outside the bathroom, sleeping. And Peter was here, out in the open, jerking off to the smell of your used panties
He was drenched in sweat as his hairs stuck to his wet forehead. He fantasized about your perky tits; perfect little nipples erect in anticipation. Pumping the shaft rapidly, imagining you on all fours begging for more, the bounce of your tits while riding him moaning his name like a mantra, Peter, fuck Peter, Peter, oh my God!
Peter was breathing heavily, his release was near, he profusely pumped his manhood, his hands and cock covered in his sticky pre-cum.
He wanted to feel you inside him, want you to quiver in pleasure as he fucks you over and over again.
He felt a sudden wave of pleasure hitting him, before he knew it, he released a flooded torrent of jizz into sticky cum as it scattered all over the floor. He slumped against the wall, heaving as he tried to steady his racing heart. He looked outside the door, finding you in the same spot as you were. You were sleeping oh so peacefully
He gazed at you, his heart full of unfulfilled yearning. He desperately wanted to be part of your world, to be someone you chose to let in. Yet no matter how many jokes he made or how close you seemed; he knew deep in his heart that he was not enough.
A soft sound broke the silence.
Peter's eyes snap to the bed, and his stomach lurch at the realization that you were stirring. Your brows knitted, your breathing started shifting, just as if you were going to wake up.
He immediately threw your panties back into the basket as he stood up and fixed his underwear and pants
He felt panic surging him, he immediately sprinted near the window. It made a loud a thud, now he was fucked
He moved quickly and quietly without thinking as he quietly ran towards the window. Just as you were about to opene your eyes, he slipped stealthily past the fluttering of curtains.
He tried scrambling down the trellis and found the ground, shivering and shaking as he did so.
He was hidden in a shadow corner, looking up towards your window. You were sitting up now, rubbing your eyes and looking around your room with a sleepy confusion.
Peter's chest tightened.
What's the matter with him?
He hurried as he turned away, his footsteps quiet against the pavement
The cool night air wrapped around Peter Parker like a cold, suffocating blanket as he walked back toward his house. Each step seemed to slant further and further as if his sneakers were scuffing wet against the cracked pavement in a slow and deliberate rhythm.
It was as if the world had gone still—entirely quiet. No cars were heard, no distant chatter, no hum of the city. Just Peter, the quiet whistle of wind through leaves, and the pounding thuds of his thoughts.
With that, he shoved his hands deep into his jacket pockets, his fingers curling into tight fists. Replaying the scene, he heard the soft sound of your breathing, the warmth of your room, and the way you stirred in your bed as if you had felt him there.
What the heck are you doing, Parker? He hadn't intended to climb into your room. He hadn't intended for it to get this far. Watching from the shadows was one thing, but tonight… tonight he had crossed a line.
He stopped moving and leaned against the lamppost, his breath escaping him in short, sharp gasps. Above him, the light flickered, shining unevenly across his shadow on the ground.
"This isn't me," he whispered to himself, the voice trembling.
But wasn't it?
Hadn't he been staring at you for years, taking notes while you weren't looking, memorizing all of your movements, laughter, and smiles? He had told himself that it was just harmless admiration from a distance, but now it was clear.
What would you think if you knew?
He sighed, Peter threw back his head and gazed up at the sky. Above him the stars, though cold and distant, seemed on to him— judging him in silence.
With the words of Uncle Ben echoing in his mind, With great power comes great responsibility, Peter winced.
Peter's jaw clamped down. Not great power; not yet. But wasn't all this part of it? Taking responsibility for his actions, owning up to his mistakes before they spiraled uncontrollably out of hand?
It hit him like a gut punch.
He wouldn't ever be able to take it back. Nor would he ever be able to wipe away the fact that he'd violated your space, your privacy, in a way you might never forgive. But he could stop it from going any further. He could ensure that you never found out.
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@gloomskulls 2024. DON'T COPY, TRANSLATE OR USE ANY OF MY WORKS HERE OR ANY OTHER WEBSITES. Photos don't belong to me
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shorthaltsjester · 1 year ago
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honestly as someone who has been in various fandoms for a long time now and who also watched campaigns 1 and 2 without really getting into cr fandom it isn’t Shocking but it is annoying how often people will look at the stories that cr tells and make absolute claims about the goodness of characters (goodness here meaning Moral goodness, not I Like This character and think it’s well made goodness, which is a separate post entirely). particularly regarding the gods and pc parents. and honestly like, typically in fandom i get annoyed by people bending over backwards to woobify characters who are active in their choice to be unkind and generally horrible but in the cr fandom it’s tended to be the opposite where like. a character is just. a human being (in the sense of being Average not in the sense of Fantasy Races) and huge swaths of the fandom act like that’s the most unforgivable thing someone can be. and maybe it is, but one of the most powerful things about fiction is that it tends to encourage people to expand their empathy and exercise their ability to forgive. because fictional characters, no matter how much people like to project onto them, tend not to cause anyone harm, so it’s easier to learn how to forgive and accept things you don’t understand without also villainizing them.
this is mostly prompted by the recent 4sd and the fact that matt’s response to what’s up with the dawnfather was a very insistent “He’s not bad!” and also seeing the online reaction to the mention that the matron would punish vax for saving keyleth that has taken the as usual completely bonkers tune that the raven queen (Who When Met With A Brother Asking A God To Kill Him In Favour Of His Sister, Gave Him A Job, and Later Extended His Natural Life To Help Protect The World And Have More Time With His Family And Allowed Him To Visit His Sister On Her Wedding Day) is a horrible evil abusive bitch of a god. like. can we grow up? can we understand the world and fiction that represents the multitudes of experiences found in it in shades of grey? is that too much to ask (i know it is).
but also specifically the like Extremely Adamant way that both matt and laura were like no no no no relvin isn’t Horirble he’s average. he’s not good he’s just. he’s A father, not a good or bad one. and on the surface it’s hilarious that they’re both so like. enthused to point out that he’s Average because typically when people respond to a claim of a characters badness with the level of immediacy they both did it’s a rebuttal of “no, this character is good actually.” but it was just to affirm that relvin did harm imogen, but not because there’s some aspect of his character that is inherently cruel or especially Bad. and like. yeah actually. yeah you should react like that to a claim that this average person who Has hurt someone, the way that nearly every single person has hurt someone in a way they cannot repair, with immediacy to say this person is a Person and thus imperfect and capable of great harm, but that isn’t some all encompassing judgment on their morality or capability to also do good or be fine.
anyway this is kinda just a rant post but also is just me saying i’m very grateful that when surrounded by a fandom that tends to paint characters as Good or Bad and even while using a game that can encourage that with its alignment system, cr has always told stories that see goodness as a persistent choice that might sometimes falter and that can be chosen even after a lifetime of Badness. i can’t remember exactly what the quote was so forgive me if it’s incorrect but when jester is talking to caleb after he claims he’s not a very good person and she says “good people do bad things sometimes. even bad people do good things.” that’s it! that’s one of the most consistent themes across campaigns. and yet.
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hellonerf · 2 days ago
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through it all caname having the same face is pretty crucial to it all. because i'm crazy
under the cut because i'm a little crazy and i don't want to deal with people going why are you so crazy. i was just thinking about how they behave to each other and concern and selfishness. i think i portray them a certain way because i rarely think when i draw but anyways. they still project onto each other to insane degrees and them having the same face doesn't help it at all. in their worst moments they'll see the other as more of a "___ version" of them. it really is like that image with the model of someones model in someones head What okay
i actually think cana is guilty of this a lot but i'm gonna be honest i think about canada's stream of thought more these days because ame is too much of a coping freak to me sometimes. i think he displays a lot of concern and worry for ame but it's not entirely selfless. i don't think he's that selfless. like i think if ame met someone and for whatever reason that other person made ame improve himself and actually be better cana would feel pretty empty about that. well ok i just think they're crazy with each other. it's not even really that he wants to be responsible for him it's just if he, as he is, as his relationship with ame is, turned out to be completely unremarkable to ame he'd like shoot himself or something. no that was a joke i bring up suicide too fast Sorry. sometimes i think his anger with ame is more about himself. not to say he has no reason to want to beat his shit in but more that he himself is also an enabler and not an innocent person it feels reflected back to him 😇 and he crazy hates himself. cana living in his own head and mumbling all his frustrations about himself and other people only to himself is the kind of cause for a tunnel vision self centeredness. when he gets aware of this he starts slamming his head in the wall. it's kind of a feedback loop with being reclusive...
i'm too assed to string into words what i think their deal with what they desire from one another is. i actually think they want similar things but if not a lack of communication then the way they'd want it is too different from each other to work. caname can never work guys it's so over. i have to yandere kill everyone else on their behalf to force them together it's so over. like i think cana thinks ame is a psycho unreliable arrogant asshole and ame thinks cana is a stupid lying coward bitch with no spine but they're also bffs and also the same person(wrong)(this is why everything is wrong) and they want the other to Understaaand them. in the true way. in the True way 🌤️ ame is like ohhh i'm eternally alone ohhhhh this fucking sucks and this spineless fag i call my brother is my last hope 😭😭😭(exaggeration) and he still doesn't know anything. ohhh you don't know anything about about This worlddd this world we're in....(attempts suicide for the 1000th time) and cana is like all my relationships are pointless and nobody likes each other including me. and there's my brother who doesn't care about anything but himself and mindlessly causes harm to everything. what do i even do😭😭😭 i'm tired. i think at random cana will be like No OMG this is horrible i can make this not horrible(yes?maybe?) which is like the context for that drawing where he hugs ame and doesn't let go when he yells and pushes him i think. you genuinely have to rip their skins off to get them anywhere. wow. KILL YOURSELF CANAME 😭😭😭😭😭
they're too cringe aware that's why they will never even kiss. that won't stop me from drawing them kissing and getting married because i don't care i like to play with dolls. caname is good. caname is a net positive. caname is actually so sweet and encouraging and super nice to each other and i'm a maniac
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yanteetle · 2 years ago
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I’ve had this fic idea burning a hole in my brain for the last month and I think you’d appreciate it. (Disclaimer that this scenario is Yandere!Donnie while the rest of his brothers are not yandere.)
Donnie slams his head onto his desk in dismay, shoving the phone away.
Stupid, stupid stupid!
He knows that when he had first met Y/N at April’s school, he had been using his cloaking broach to disguise as a human, but he had been trying to confess the truth!
if only Y/N hadn’t been asked out by their crush, causing him to move up his plans.
He had tried to ambush them in turtle form at their apartment, but they had managed to wrench themselves free from his grasp and escape.
Not his finest moment.
And now, he had just received a text from them:
I’m really sorry I didn’t come to our meet up, Donnie. There was this horrible turtle mutant! It tried to grab me! I only just got away. What kind of monster would try to do that to someone anyways?! I hope I never see that thing again!
This was it. All of his plans- gone.
Y/N hated him.
They must belong to him. They may not like it, but he knows what’s good for them better than they do.
Unfortunately, them hating his true self was a problem that would be almost impossible to work around.
Donnie hears a knocking at his lab door.
“Go away!” He yells, irritated at the interruption.
With a flash of blue, Leo does the exact opposite, portaling into the room.
“You called for your favourite brother?” He sings.
“Leo, now is not the time, I’m dealing with some serious problems with what I’m working on!”
“Awww, poor genius.” Leo says, patting him on the shoulder only to be swatted away.
“I’m sure that whatever’s not working out the way you planned, you can fix it. You’re always making fixes for your other projects, so just work your Donatello magic for this one!” He reassures.
Donnie sits up in shock.
“That’s right! When things don’t work out the way I want, I make a fix! Why shouldn’t this be any different?!”
“I’m glad to see that my wise words have helped you once again!” Leo smirks.
“Yeah, yeah yeah, you’re so helpful. Now get out, I need to start working on this.”
”So bossy! As you insist, bro!” Leo falls backwards into another portal, vanishing with a flash of blue.
Under his breath, Donnie mutters,
“You’re just broken right now, my dear. Don’t worry, though, I’ll fix you as soon as I can so you’ll understand what I already know:
You belong to me.”
oh my god the scream I scrumpt when I first read this. CHEFS ABSOLUTE KISS. ARE YOU KIDDING ME THIS IS AMAZING!! Q&^@*($!#$89??? I adore how you wrote this and the way you incorporated Leo into the writing, it feels so natural and sick and I the insanity Donnie is experiencing is SO ARGH- <333 And how you portrayed his frustration too?? It's so perfect and I had such an easy time imagining his voice saying the words too! It's really hard to have that in ROttmnt writing sometimes, so it's really precious when you're able to do it well! <33
I know I postponed writing this for an unreasonable amount of time, but you deserved to know that this is precious and that if you ever write for Rottmnt, I'd love too see more of your work, okay? Please have a nice day and take care!! <33 More people need to see this, so I'm adding extra tags for this one! :DD
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revlischarm · 2 years ago
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Wouldn’t call this one of my most exciting edits for the Noodle Shop Ghost AU, but it’s what I was able to finish recently so it’s what y’all are getting since I’m impatient to share more details and have to divulge them NOW
More LMK Morro info under the cut
• Red Son’s nicknames for Morro include “Accursed witch” and “dead meat” (the witch one is due to Morro having spooky vibes and carrying around a broom)
-Deadass? The first time Red called Morro a witch, Morro did a full 180° and said “did you just call me a bitch?” (Credit to @breathlessmorro for this idea!)
•Morro’s still got some anger issues they’re working out
•Princess Iron Fan shows up with her wind and he’s like “bro I am unimpressed I could do that when I was like, ten”
-The teleporting à la wind gets his attention, tho, since he obviously can’t do that and is immediately jealous
•Morro was a big fan of JTTW Monkey King after reading the story, but then he meets Wukong irl and is just like “Oh. This is it?? That’s…disappointing.”
Wukong: “I haven’t even interacted with you yet and you already dislike me, what the hell.”
-Like Morro and Wukong definitely have some similar interests and hobbies, such as martial arts, protective over MK, a distain for rules…but Morro is still twitchy around him.
-Morro owns a JTTW shirt because he still thinks that the story slaps tho
•Morro thinks the Mayor has cool vibes upon first meeting
-Like, Morro respects how unhinged and creepy he is
•Morro does have a broom for a weapon I’ve decided! It’s comical and it works. He gets a new weapon during Season 3, tho!
-He absolutely 100% knows how to use a broom as a staff because he’s used a staff before. In Season 5 when he possessed Lloyd and was trying to steal Wu’s staff, in the tea shop fight he was kicking ass with it. He’s very proficient with a staff and you can fight me on that.
•Morro forgets that he’s mortal again and ends up walking into a lot of solid objects
•Morro strives for success and likes to be in the spotlight still honestly, he can’t help it.
-The man absolutely despises failing in any way; he doesn’t want to be seen as a disappointment.
-At least he’s ambitious!
•Morro’s working on his inability to let things go, and it’s going. Okay. Ish.
-He struggles so, so much with letting go of a grudge, he never forgets nor forgives but he’s trying to
-It’s part of his goal towards being a better person/not being evil lmao
-“I probably shouldn’t hold onto so much hate for what happened before, huh…well maybe I’ll hold onto a few things.”
•MK sometimes does morning exercises with Morro (stretches and stuff), so for the episode “Duplicination” he makes another clone to do said activities with Morro
-How would that go wrong? Contortionist clone is how. Motherfucker stretches himself into a creepy pretzel
-He crawls up a wall like a spider and gives MK nightmares
-“NOOOO!! MY WORST FEAR IS MANIFESTING!”
-He’s super flexible and very hard to catch; good at dodging!
•Morro definitely sees a lot of Lloyd in MK, but it’s not like he can go back to Ninjago rn (he doesn’t know how), and even then! Lloyd and he are on horrible terms. So Morro is inadvertently projecting onto MK to some extent the apology and like…just feeling guilty and almost responsible in a way
-They’re not doing it intentionally, they really aren’t
-MK just gives them Lloyd vibes that make Morro feel guilty
-Took one look at MK and went: “Is anyone gonna big brother that guy?” And didn’t wait for an answer (credit: @breathlessmonkie )
•Morro being referred to ironically as the “family pet” by Tang and the gang is a reoccurring gag in Season 1. It’s for comedy purposes.
-Pigsy: “This is my husband, Tang, our son, MK, and the family pet, Morro.”
MK: “He’s a rescue!”
-Morro just goes with it
•Morro has residual traits from being a former ghost and you can fight me on that
-For example, his teeth are just slightly more sharp than the average person’s. It’s barely even noticeable but it’s there.
-Morro’s eyes have eyeshine (tapetum lucidum?), basically if it’s dim lighting and you direct some light at him, his eyes seem to glow in the dark. That thing that some animals have, you know? Deer.
-On that note, Morro can see in the dark slightly better than the average person.
-There’s more stuff but I’ll go over it later
•Morro loves flying kites!!! He adores those super complex ones and is saving up money to buy one
•MK called Morro “responsible” one time/refers to him as his “responsible friend”, and Morro ends up having a whole new episode dedicated to him having a crisis over that
-Think a midlife crisis except more aggressive and despairing. Morro’s trying to find an outlet for aggression! He’s adamant he maintain his bad boy persona, and MK’s comment shook him
-Like, his whole thing was defying destiny, making his own path in life, beating the odds and being stubborn…and yet here MK is, saying that’s he’s responsible. It goes against what he thinks of himself and just sets him off. Man literally skips work (which he never does) and gets everyone worried about him.
-He’s just acting out to try and prove that he’s not some domesticated ex-villain, but it’s also about him having difficulty adjusting to this new norm
-Before, Morro was doomed to a cursed eternity for the longest time. He was pent up and bitter and focused on a whole lot of negative stuff, and now he’s waking up and going to work and living life like none of that happened. It’s jarring, and he’s realizing that it’s so far from how he once was.
-He’s thinking, “That angry person I used to be was me, that’s who I was. What changed?” When really he’d just been so bitter and upset for so, so long that that’s all he can think of himself as being—that’s who he was, that’s who Morro was. It’s just he wasn’t actively thinking about it or anything until MK prompted it. He’s changed, and he knows that, but now he’s like…he’s moreso conscious of it, like actually realizing it’s not just that he gave up being so spiteful and tried to redeem himself—he’s forgotten what he was like before he was a vengeful spirit.
-That was what defined them for so long. And now who are they?
-The other part of it is that he doesn’t want to feel like he’s conforming, doesn’t want to be responsible, that it feels like he’s just following along to fate’s rules. And he abhors that.
-Uhhhhhh anyways tl:dr Morro has an episode all his own about self-discovery and also demolishes some stuff along the way.
-OH ONE MORE THING Morro divulges some more about his past to MK and Mei in this episode and also I don’t have a title for the episode yet so suggestions/help with that is greatly appreciated
•Back to our regularly scheduled program
•Morro. Does not trust Wukong very much.
-Like, Morro already has past trauma with Wu, given how Wu told Morro he could be the Green Ninja and fed him a bunch of hopeful nonsense and all that. Morro knows that MK’s been told he has some big destiny and power and whatever by this mentor-figure.
-Also. The Golden Weapons’ parallels with Monkey King’s staff?? Fun stuff. The staff “chose” MK and all that jazz.
-Morro doesn’t trust him from the start, although it’s less of Morro being perceptive enough to pick up on Wukong’s crap and instead that his paranoia ended up being right
-Morro would definitely go “At this point I can’t tell if you or Wu are worse, and that’s fucking saying something.”
-There’s one instance in which Morro straight up punches Wukong square in the face. I’m keeping that scene to myself for now because I gotta have some secrets, you know? Heheh
•Mei’s green power startles Morro every now and then
-Like there’s a flash of glowing green in their peripheral and they jolt. Literally they don’t even do it on purpose, it’s a knee jerk response to glowing green powers.
•Morro drinks soy sauce. He’ll get a little dish and sip from it. Yes, I based this off of myself.
•Macaque is Morro’s dad now btw I should probably mention that /hj
•During the episode “Macaque”, Morro shows up when MK does and actually manages to like. Demonstrate a decently strong attack at Macaque’s shadow kaiju thing. Wind does wonders against smoke monsters (I think Mac called it that??)
-Anyways Macaque quickly takes an interest in Morro! Morro tags along with MK for the training stuff because they’re not letting the kid get taken to some secondary location
-…unless they goes too, lmao
-Plus Macaque doesn’t actually mind him coming along, Morro’s wind powers peaked his interest
•Oh also Morro @ Macaque: “You know back where I’m from, we have an elemental Master of Shadow—I bet they could kick your ass, lol”
Macaque:
Macaque: “a fucking what”
•Also Morro? Actually really vibes with Macaque’s teachings?? Like he definitely reminds MK to take breaks and take it easy every once in a while, but for the most part Morro is like “fuck yeah? This guy is straightforward and makes a good point. Although strategy is important to take into account first and foremost it also helps to actually have a sense of direction here”
-So Morro thinks that Macaque’s got superior skills as a teacher to MK here
-Up until the whole betrayal thing haha
•Macaque keeps a close eye on Morro throughout the episodes following all of this actually!
-Like Macaque checks in on him throughout Season 2 and so they cross paths again fairly quickly
-Morro is very apprehensive at first but begrudgingly understands that it isn’t anything personal against MK, what Mac did—Morro’s literally been in that kind of situation before, sort of. “Nothing personal, just doing this to achieve my goals, you just happen to be involved in this and got hurt.”
-Like Morro gets it. You do evil and fucked up shit because it’s fun at the time and you wanna get back at someone who hurt you
•He’s still very protective of MK but he genuinely understands where Mac is coming from when he pulled that stunt
•They both absolutely open up to each other about their respective deaths eventually, though it takes time
•Macaque shows Morro some cool fighting stuff! They spar together a lot
-Morro finds himself looking forward to those sessions (he can get an actual challenge lmao) and so does Macaque! Mac hasn’t had a sparring buddy in. Well. You know ;)
•Morro 100% picks up on the ex vibes Macaque and Wukong have
•But anyways Morro and Macaque have a great time training and sparring together! Neither of them are afraid to get aggressive, but not because they’re angry—it’s because they know the other one can take it!
•They just overall bond offscreen (and maybe onscreen too? Do I need to make another new episode dedicated to this??) during Season 2/end of Season 1
•Macaque and Morro have a fun dynamic that I’ll expound more upon in Season 3 stuff, but I’m saving anything s3 for a different post because spoilers
•I will divulge that LBD has some difficulty handling Morro for reasons that are ghost-related and that Morro wants to kick her ass
-Well, related to the fact that Morro used to be a ghost and I have a very specific headcanon about his new physical body in that regard
•Anyways
•The Macaque thing is pure self-indulgence on my end because he’s one of my favorite characters
•If it feels forced in, it’s because it probably is, but serotonin go brrrrr in my head and that overrules all logic
•I want to draw what Morro’s intro screen would look like for the opening but I don’t have the skill (can’t draw complex backgrounds well at ALL) rip
-Concept for seasons 1 + 2 would have him standing in the front with a clear shot like the other characters do, arms are crossed or he’s leaning on his broom, and in the background we see a cool dynamic shot of him flying one of those neat Chinese kites. Color scheme is mostly greens and grays? I’m not sure.
-My idea for the Season 3 intro I’m reserving for now
•Morro doesn’t know how to drive I should mention. Man needs to learn to, lol
•Mei and MK teach him lingo and Morro honestly picks it up shockingly fast.
-He can understand some things about it? But others he’s at a total loss for.
-For example Morro doesn’t understand surreal memes or deep-fried stuff, he just doesn’t get what’s funny about them
•Morro knows a lot of occult/spiritual info!! He’s your man if you’ve got some form of spooky trouble ailing you
-So for spooky or supernatural happenings, Morro can give some decent advice.
•Don’t get him wet, he despises water.
•Also he’s still absolutely unhinged. Redemption doesn’t mean he lost any of his violent tendencies, so that’s a lot of manic fun.
-The vibe of what he’ll be saying is all good stuff, but the way he says it sounds like he’s delivering a villain speech
-Oh and don’t get me started on his dramatics either because this man is the smuggest and most theatric bastard ever and I love him for it
-A sore loser and a sore winner.
-So a ton of similarities to Red Son’s behavior, just…toned down a bit more and he’s not trying to be a villain. That’s just how he is. He slips back into villain mode sometimes because he was a villain, and he’s also just kinda like that.
-Morro’s villain tendencies/vibes are always more…creepy? Dark? Than Red Son’s are. Macabre, I’d say. He could actually scare you if he wanted to? It’s hard to describe.
-To sum it up: trying to do good things, but his attitude about it is so diabolical and dramatic. Aaaaannnnd his methods aren’t entirely moral all the time, either. He’s trying, okay??
•Although on that note, Morro is still a master at manipulation when it comes to it. He’s very adept at twisting his words around and can occasionally fall back on old habits without meaning to
-Fucking watch out for him when he’s intentionally being manipulative though, you don’t wanna mess with that
•Morro 100% attends Mac’s shadow plays, they really enjoy them and are the most enthusiastic person in the stands
-Macaque: The hero and the warrior were like the sun and the moon—
Morro: FUCK YEAH LET’S GOOOOOO
Macaque, confused and embarrassed: Uh, anyways.
•Morro would either be very good or very bad at fighting Red Son; wind can either fuel fire or snuff it out. Depends on the oxygen and stuff.
•Anything involving flying/air/heights? Morro is adept at that. Man would kill for one of Wukong’s clouds
•Trans he/they Morro rights
•This post is long enough so I’ll end it here
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a-small-batch-of-dragons · 1 year ago
Text
QTA: Together
Hello! It's the time of year again where teachers talk about what to do in case of a school shooting, which is a big trigger for my anxiety, and when I'm anxious I like to project on Virgil, so I was wondering if you could do something with that — maybe in the homophobia ft. queer teacher alliance universe because that one already has the right set up. Sorry for rambling, and as always: I love your writing and feel free to ignore this. – anon
Read on Ao3
Warnings: discussion of school shootings
Pairings: none
Word Count: 2702
    Sometimes, there are things that surprise Virgil with how much they make him freak out. These can come in the whoa-didn't-know-that-was-a-trigger variety, the holy-shit-wasn't-expecting-that variety, and the for-fuck's-sake-how-are-you-people-this-awful variety. Unfortunately, lately, most of the things have been that third kind, because this is high school and apparently pretty much everyone else got the 'we're gonna be racist, homophobic, and otherwise bigoted now' memo and Virgil was skipped.
Sometimes, though, he knows exactly what's going to set off his…everything, and boy howdy, is today no exception.
Mr. Everheart gathers them all in right before classes start and Virgil can just tell that something's about to go horribly for him. It's a skill, honestly, something he's honed over the past few years of having his brain be an absolute nonsense machine that insists on being a shit. Mr. Everheart clicks a few things on his computer before he wheels his chair out to speak to them and yep, oh no, shit's about to go down.
"I won't keep you for long," he starts, and his voice is serious enough to make even the most rambunctious kids from interrupting, "but I've been informed that the next topic I have to discuss in these little homeroom talks is what to do in the event of a school shooting."
The room goes dead quiet.
Ooh, bad choice of words.
The room goes awfully quiet. Virgil swears he can feel the temperature drop a few degrees. He risks a quick glance around and sees that everyone's looking at Mr. Everheart, even though a few of them are still on their phones under the table. Across the room, he sees two of them reach out and hold onto each other, another few shuffling closer to each other as if the proximity will help keep the worst of it at bay.
It won't, his brain whispers, you know it won't.
Shut the fuck up, you.
While he's scolding his brain for being rude, he realizes he's missed a good part of Mr. Everheart's talk. A sinking feeling takes hold of his stomach when he tunes back in to realize that he doesn't need to have listened this time; it's exactly the same one they had last year. Some hysterical part of him wants to laugh; how rote have these fucking tragedies become that it's now rote? Like it's something to be read off like a fucking lesson plan, like it's something they just do now, just casually prepare for one of the worst things that can happen in a school, just accept that one day they all might walk in and not all walk out?
He squeezes the keychain on his backpack a little tighter and takes a shuddering breath.
"Mr. Everheart?"
Virgil looks up as Lily raises her hand. Mr. Everheart nods. "Yes, kiddo?"
"How likely do you think it is that a shooting will happen in our school?"
They all turn to look at him expectantly. He taps his fingers against his knuckles where his hands are folded in his lap. He takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. "I made a promise to you, didn't I, when these homeroom talks started?"
"Yes, Mr. Everheart."
"And that was that I would never lie to you, even if the curriculums tell me to say something different, I will do my best to be completely and totally honest with you."
The air conditioning hums and rattles in the background.
"I don't know, Lily," Mr. Everheart says after another moment, "I'd like to say I do. That I could read you some statistics and put your minds at ease, that I could say with confidence that I know that none of our students would ever do something like that, but…"
His voice cracks slightly on the last word and to Virgil's horror, he can see him hold back tears. A few other students aren't so lucky and sniffles come from the corners of the room.
"I don't have an answer for you," he says and it's the best and worst thing he could have said, "I'm sorry, Lily."
Lily shakes her head. "No, thank you, Mr. Everheart."
A small chorus of thank you, Mr. Everheart goes up around the room and Virgil watches his face crumple for a moment before manages to smile again. He frowns, wondering why it took him a moment, before the horrifying truth crosses his mind and he almost gags from the sudden sickness in his stomach.
In a school shooting, the teachers are prepared to die for the students. Mr. Everheart just had his homeroom thank him for being ready to die for them.
Holy fucking shit.
It's hard for him to tell who breaks first but then Virgil blinks and half a dozen students are up out of their chairs and hugging Mr. Everheart. He gets up with everyone else, crowding around to just be like I'm here, I'm with you, thank you, I'm sorry, I'm scared too, will you be scared with me? The horrible air conditioning buzzes and a few people sniffle and everybody just stays quiet until they feel like they're not about to be forgotten the moment they pull away.
"You're all wonderful," he hears Mr. Everheart manage, his voice slightly too thick, "you're all such wonderful people."
"You too, Mr. Everheart."
"You're the best homeroom teacher ever."
Please, they're all saying to each other without the right words, please don't die for me, I couldn't take it.
The bell rings a few moments later and regretfully they all pull away, swiping tissues from tissue boxes and patting shaking shoulders. Mr. Everheart ruffles hair and gets in one last hug here and there before sending them all off to class. Virgil manages to make it through the hallway without having a breakdown and all but collapses into his seat in the next classroom. His hands are still trembling.
For better or worse, it seems like the whole school is getting the school shooting talk today, because no one puts a fucking toe out of line for the rest of the day. There aren't any bullies or homophobes or anything, not even when things come up in class or he sees a few of them shooting looks at him. But nothing comes of it; he offers an awkward wave and they just nod back. Someone accidentally slams a locker and everyone in the hall flinches. A chip bag pops and the student next to Virgil starts crying. He sees one of his teachers pull their phone out and explain their saved information to a student who starts to make their own list. The buzz never leaves its place just under Virgil's skin and he drifts through the school.
Three days later, they have a drill.
He's out in the hallway. He's not supposed to be out in the hallway. He's supposed to be in class. But he had to use the bathroom. Now he's in the hallway. His classroom is on the other side of the school. The locks start buzzing all around him. The doors are locking. He can't get inside. He can't run. They'll think he's a shooter. He can't bang on the door. He can't get in. What if the shooter finds him?
"Virgil!"
He turns. Mr. Mackenzie waves at him. Mr. Mackenzie's door is still open. It's Mr. Mackenzie.
"Come on!"
Virgil blinks. He's inside Mr. Mackenzie's classroom. The door closes. The lock buzzes. He's huddled on the ground behind the desk away from the door. Mr. Mackenzie does something and then he's right next to him. Mr. Mackenzie is safe, right? He's been kind to him, he's been nice, he hasn't minded when Virgil gets all messy and upset, he's—he's good, he's fine, he's—he's—
"Shh," Mr. Mackenzie murmurs, his voice pitched low and his hands quiet in front of him, "it's alright, Virgil, you're alright. Can you look at me?"
Virgil looks up. His chest hurts. Why does his chest hurt?
"You're having an attack, Virgil," he says in that low, soothing voice again, "that's it, stay with me, now."
"I'm s—I'm so—"
"Shh, shh, don't apologize, it's alright, you've not done something wrong." To his horror, he feels tears start to well up and Mr. Mackenzie lets out a sympathetic noise. "What do you need, Virgil?"
"I can't—can't feel my hands."
"Here," and Mr. Mackenzie offers him a small teddy bear cold pack, filled with beads, "squeeze this, try and move the beads around. The feeling will start to come back."
Virgil looks at it blankly.
"Can you squeeze the bear's ear for me?"
Fingers that should be Virgil's that don't quite feel like they belong to him move to the black outline of the bear's ear and squeeze. The light brown beads move away from the pressure. One of them gets a little stuck and pops out later.
"Very good. What about his nose?"
The fingers move to the bear's nose and squeeze. It's in the center of the cold pack, so there are more beads that have to move out of the way. A few of them bump into the fingers. The top of the pack bulges out a little bit from so many beads filling it up.
"Excellent. Can you squeeze his left eye?"
The bear's eyes are closed. Why are his eyes closed? Is it dead?
"Stay with me, Virgil, squeeze the bear's left eye."
He moves his hands and squeezes. The beads squish together and move under his fingers. He does it again, watching them move around. And again, just to feel it on his other hand. Then his hands start to hurt, probably because he couldn't feel them for a long time, and he keeps going, pressing and squeezing parts of the bear's face. Belatedly, he realizes he's not following Mr. Mackenzie's instructions anymore and he looks up, only for Mr. Mackenzie to smile and shake his head.
"Go on, it's alright. That's what it's for."
He looks back down at the bear. He squeezes his ears, his nose, his eyes, his mouth. The bear is smiling with his eyes closed, maybe he's happy. He looks a bit like a children's book character. What's the last children's book he read? Was it one with a bear? Probably not. He did see a kid's cartoon show with a bear in it though. That bear was light brown too, just like this one. Did it wear a hat? Why does he have a memory of a bear wearing a hat?
He lets himself follow the train of thought through a weird fever-dream-like memory of a show he used to watch—or at least, a show he thinks he used to watch, until his hands aren't as sore anymore and he can take a deep breath without his chest feeling like it's going to explode. He lets his head tip back to rest against the wall, taking one big breath after another. After a moment, he feels the cold pack start to slip out of his hands and he sits back up. Mr. Mackenzie is still crouched in front of him, watching him carefully, but he smiles when Virgil manages to look up at him again.
"There," he murmurs, voice still barely louder than a whisper, "that seems like it's better, isn't it?"
"Yeah. Thanks."
"Of course, Virgil." He glances to his left—the door, that's where the door is—and comes to sit on Virgil's right.
Between him and the door.
Right.
Right.
"Hey," Mr. Mackenzie whispers, "stay with me, now."
"I'm here, I'm here." He shifts to ease a cramp in his leg. "How, uh, how long has it been?"
"About five to ten minutes."
"How much longer will this take?"
"I don't know."
He looks around the science classroom. Beakers stand on the side, ready to be cleaned. Three measuring cylinders still have a solution in them. One of the sinks has a thermometer balanced on the very edge. Several desks have bunsen burners set up in the middle, ready to go. Mr. Mackenzie's lab coat is still hung neatly over the back of his chair.
This should be a normal classroom. There should be students in here, messing about when they think Mr. Mackenzie isn't looking. There should be some people taking notes and some people playing with the spare test tubes. There should be someone miming pulling the emergency shower only to be cowed by a single raised eyebrow. There should be some people freaking out about open flame in a school and Mr. Mackenzie should be assuring them that it's perfectly safe, that he's taught them all how to deal with it and do experiments safely. There should be one time where someone turns the gas tap on a little too much and there's a moment of panic before calm is restored. There should be bad jokes and dramatic groans and the general hubbub of students learning in a school where that's all they're supposed to do.
But instead, the sink drips thunderously in a silent room and the only people here are him and Mr. Mackenzie.
"How are we supposed to do this?"
"Hm?"
"This," Virgil whispers, gesturing between them, the bear hanging lifelessly from his fingers, "how—how are we supposed to focus on learning like this?"
Mr. Mackenzie sighs, and it's the same weight as Mr. Everheart's was too. "I wish I had an answer for you."
"The counselor keeps saying that we just need to be smart and keep an eye out for each other," Virgil continues, "but how are we supposed to do that when we're so scared all the time?"
The bear twitches in his hands.
"I'm so scared," he admits, bringing it back to his chest and squeezing it again, "I'm so scared all the time. Do you have any idea how tiring that is? I'm supposed to—I'm not supposed to be scared for my life every time I want to go to the bathroom, I'm not supposed to know how to text like, 20 people my emergency info in three seconds, I'm not supposed to have a list of who I'm ready to die for."
Mr. Mackenzie is quiet for a long moment. Then he shifts and turns to look down at him, a solemn expression on his face. "I'm sorry, Virgil, I wish…I wish I could say something to make this better."
"Having you say it sucks helps too."
He huffs a small laugh. "It does suck. It's an awful situation, Virgil. It shouldn't be like this. And I'm sorry I can't fix it."
Virgil scoffs, leaning against the wall. "You can't be expected to fix this whole fucking mess by yourself."
"I suppose I'm not used to that either." He leans back too. "I'm used to being able to have an answer for everything in here, I have to be. When I have students handling dangerous things like open flame, or corrosive chemicals, I have to have an answer. But I can't have an answer for this."
The sink keeps dripping.
"My apologies," he murmurs after a moment, "it's not your responsibility to deal with my own emotional troubles."
"No, that was—it helps to know I'm not alone in feeling totally helpless, you know? So, thanks. It, um, it made me feel a bit better."
Mr. Mackenzie looks over and smiles at him. After a moment, he raises his arm and Virgil scoots close enough for him to lean against his side. He's given a gentle squeeze side hug and let go again, but they stay sitting close to each other.
We're here, they say to each other, I see you. I'm with you. We'll get through this, together.
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bluegekk0 · 1 year ago
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25 for PK?
Also: I have finished a bit of fpk AU writing… are your DMs open so I can drop it in? Just making sure I don’t bug you by randomly showing up.
25. What was your first impression of this character? How about now?
unfortunately i fell victim to all the fandom jokes, and saw him as a saw obsessed horrible father that tossed the vessels into the void if they weren't pure. but i remember watching a video on him one day, i can't remember what it was exactly, but it went into more detail about how the vessels actually hatched from within the abyss, something i unfortunately missed while playing the game, and it made me think more about pk as a character. there was also all the fanart i saw of him that went outside of those tired fandom jokes and actually explored him as a character, and i found that fascinating. didn't take long for him to become my favorite
and, well, you can already see where i am now. my au version definitely evolved way past the canon, there's so much that i personally projected onto him and that makes him very special to me, in the way no other character before him was. he brings me comfort, i love drawing him and thinking of all kinds of scenarios with him involved, but it goes beyond all the fluff. the morally grey nature of his character, the guilt and shame he feels, and all the traits that i gave him that go alongside what the canon implied, they give him that little bit of angst that helps build his character. if it wasn't for what happened in canon, i don't think i would have made him struggle with his confidence to such an extent, and so i wouldn't be able to relate to him nearly nearly as much as i do
i may not enjoy a lot of the fandom interpretations of him anymore, it's nothing personal, i just have such a clear idea of fpk as a character that it feels wrong sometimes. like, it's a whole "he would NOT say/do that" thing, and it makes me unable to engage with it as much as i did before the au was created. it has its moments of frustration, but it just makes me get even more attached to fpk. he's my guy now, and if anything happened to him i would kill everyone in the room and then myself
---
as for the second part of the ask. if all the porn/spam bots messaging me on a regular basis are anything to go by, then i'm pretty sure my dms are open. so sure, go ahead haha
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yankstrash · 1 year ago
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https://www.tumblr.com/yankstrash/725592097890172928/httpsvmtiktokcomzm2twgw8b-gabe-know-her-so?source=share
could you please give an example of a time this happened?
it was monday night and amelia had just endured one of her worst college days yet. she hated the group she got assigned to work with for lab, she didn't do well on her exam, her new shoes got ruined in the rain and she got assigned 10 homework assignments all due by the end of the week.
safe to say she wasn't doing too well.
however, gabe had just gotten back from a roadie where the team didn't play particularly well, at all. he was also going through it and so amelia really didn't want to project her stresses onto him, so she kept quiet.
that night she was finishing up a homework assignment when gabe walked into her room.
"hey princess" he said as he closed her bedroom door.
amelia turned around in her desk chair to smile and greet him, and the second he saw her face he knew something was wrong.
"you okay?" he asked.
dammit. he was too good.
amelia nodded her head and tried to keep her game face on. "i'm okay honey, just finishing some homework. i'll come lay with you in a few."
gabe didn't push, just went and sat on her bed while she finished her schoolwork.
he kept glancing up from his phone and looking at her face, knowing something was wrong.
"meels.." he said.
amelia hummed in response but didn't look at her boyfriend. she knew if she did, he would know something was wrong.
"look at me meels" gabe said.
amelia turned her head slightly to the side
"what's wrong?" he asked again, but amelia gave him the same answer.
"meels," gabe started, getting off her bed and going over to her. "talk to me, what happened?"
he knelt down beside her and placed his hand on her thigh.
"gabey i'm fine!" she tried to reassure him, but he knew her all too well.
"you're not. i can see it in your eyes and hear it in your voice."
amelia huffed at her boyfriends observations. they really were too good.
he used his finger to move her face to look at him and said, "you know you can't lie to me about this, i always know when you're not okay. i know you, meels. now talk to me."
and just like that, amelia broke. her shoulders began to shake and gabe wasted not a second more scooping her up from her desk chair and carrying her over to her bed, laying her on top of him.
"let it out baby."
she sobbed into his chest as she vented about her horrible day.
gabe kissed her head and asked, "why didn't you tell me this earlier? i would've come over sooner!"
"i didn't want to burden you. you had a really tough weekend with hockey and i just didn't want to add to the stress. i'm fine, really, i just had a rough day." amelia said.
"meels, you could never burden me. i'm your boyfriend, you're supposed to tell me these things and let me help you. if anything you would add to the stress by not telling me what's wrong when clearly i know something is." gabe said as he moved some hair out of her face to look at her. "i know you better than anyone, and i always know when somethings wrong."
amelia sniffled and said, "i know, sometimes your crazy good observations drive me mad."
gabe laughed at her words
"i know you like the back of my hand, baby."
amelia propped her chin on gabes chest and looked into his eyes. "yeah, i know."
she leaned in to give him a kiss before turning and looking at her now ruined shoes on the floor.
"and my SHOES are ruined!" she exaggerated
gabe laughed at his girlfriend and said, "princess, you know i'll buy you new ones."
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yuukei-yikes · 2 years ago
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What are your mekatrio + Ayano hcs esp post-str? I’m still bitter that we didn’t get to see their reunion in mca
FOR FUCKING REAL UGH mca giving us the Good ending but at the same time starving us horribly. like it only delivered on ayano and hiyori being alive 😭 but we dont even SEE hiyori we just pathetically point at her silhouette and then we see shinaya scene that seems to have gotten the whole budget in animation. there is something that irks me abt the shinaya scene in str being so damn pretty and then ayanos theory of happiness is. THAT. like when i remember ayanos theory of happiness in mca i lose my mind bc sometimes i cant believe that rly happened. kagepro is such a joke
WAIT THIS ISNT MCA BASHING ITS MEKATRIO TIME omg post str tateyama siblings♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️ i think ayano feels insanely guilty for leaving them alone for so long and feels like a damn failure and well ayano's mental stability post str is something to be studied by scientists let's just say she's BARELY hanging in there. she's desperate to make up for lost time and so is the trio but the trio is more like hey WE are also there for u if u need it especially kido and seto to BOTH kano and ayano, like we dont want you guys to ever hide something like that from us again bc we are supposed to be a family and we're in this together ok??? especially now that their parents are gone gone. like kenjirou had been long gone since before properly dying but... it still hits different that he's REALLY gone for good.
but if anything this drives ayano to try to suck it up even more. she's not even relying on kano anymore because she sees how it's affected him that she did rely on him so much back then, and she's even MORE incredibly guilty over it. ayano would be helicoptering over all 3 and ESPECIALLY kano.
kido has been carrying the pressure of trying to be The Big Sister replacement after losing 2 big sisters of their own, seto is sort of projecting all his insecurities and pain onto helping mary and obsessing over how much worse she had it as if that somehow takes away his right to also be upset and kano is. (gestures at his whole thing) i think post str kano is the most messed up of them all and i mean ALL the dan, even more than ayano or shintaro LMAO
because while ayano and shintaro are sort of clumsily tripping and stuff in the way of healing they're still in that path while kano is actively spiraling down bc he's so used to being miserable and now he's gotten everything he's ever wanted and he feels so undeserving and guilty and lost and alone. and ayano is here BEGGING to be relied on and needed but kano KNOWS BETTER than to do that because he knows ayano is hurting too and in the same way she is sucking it up for his and their siblings' sake he is doing the same for her. its such a mess. i love emotional constipation.
kano is on his way to a very very VERY ugly meltdown like im talking about a sort of um maybe 💀 attempt. YKNOW WHAT I MEAN. erm... ayano too actually but i think she is most likely to seek help before it gets to that point especially since teehee she's. done that before. also ayano is sort of distracting herself with her relationship mess with shintaro bc that's ridiculous and its EASIER to be hurt about that than everything else. like somehow this silliness sort of saves her LOL not to sidetrack to shinaya but i think a big reason theyre so fucking messy is not only the obvious reasons but also they find comfort in that because that way they can be primarily worried about stupid shit like bwaaa u cuddle with ur asuna body pillow and not me instead of THE TIMELINES...WEVE DIED 1000 TIMES.... IT IS ONLY A MATTER OF TIME BEFORE IT HAPPENS AGAIN.... yknow what im saying!
i think she ends up breaking down to mekatrio and they all hold her while she cries the same way she held them while they cried when they reunited :(( i think when they reunite ayano is crying but Not sobbing while the mekatrio is like a fucking mess clinging to her and stuff. kind of like when shintaro goes get ayano like u dont have to fight alone anymore. ayano is like that to her siblings when they reunite she wants to be strong and let them cry like little kids again because they've been getting by alone for so long
i think breakdowns happen like. seto first, then kido second, then ayano, then kano (and kano's is UGLY like something very bad happens for this to take place)
also there is something so interesting to be explored in post str mary and ayano. ayaki is still the same person as ayano yknow, kinda... like everything ayaki does is something ayano in this route is capable of as well. and maybe in the worst part of her ayano resents mary even if she knows she shouldn't, and she's also troubled over seto obsessing over her so much instead of taking care of his own baggage. teehee.
surprisingly kido is the most put together of the 4 but theyre rather like a pressure bomb abt to go off LOL i think their breakdown begins through them getting REALLY REALLY MAD and exploding at everyone. it could start with something like kano putting the empty milk back in the fridge instead of throwing it away LMAO also kido's self steem is basically nonexistent and relies completely on trying to be this Cool Leader so a breakdown is absolutely forbidden. but it happens♥️ everyone needs therapy 👍👍👍
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kitkatopinions · 2 years ago
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If neo gets a redemption arc it will be way worst than emeralds as there was practically no build up beforehand for it at least emerald had some hints she doesn't want to be evil
So to be honest, Neo was one of the characters I singled out in the first few seasons of rwby as the most likely to be able to be redeemed along with Torchwick, Emerald, and Mercury (and Adam, but I'm not touching that conversation atm.)
Because villain redemption arcs don't always look like "I no longer want to be evil anymore" to "I no longer am evil." They often look like "The thing I'm doing no longer benefits me" to "Now I have friends I want to look out for" to "Now I no longer want to be evil."
The "We're making a new world" people are Watts, Hazel, Cinder. The "We want to destroy the world" people are Salem and Tyrian. Meanwhile, Roman is a vicious thief, but one who is out to survive and has a 'if you can't beat 'em, join 'em' mentality. That's easily turned towards a 'the enemy of my enemy is my friend' thing where if he'd realized that Salem was the true threat to him and Neo, he could've aligned himself with the heroes for the sake of convenience, and then eventually developed relationships and eventually wound up starting to naturally change for the better (in my own fanfics, I add onto this possibility by giving him a tragic backstory that includes an ex-friendship with some of the adults and a passive semblance that fucked with his head.) Neo would go with Roman in a redemption arc, but prior to this 'gets possessed by the Cat' thing, post-Roman's-death, Neo has been entirely hellbent on revenge against the wrong person, meaning that if people had managed to talk sense into her (made more possible by Cinder's betrayal) she could've shifted into 'still bad but now a wildcard that the group might feel like they have to work together with,' and for my part with how Ruby sometimes seems a little Torchwick-ish, I always felt like Neo could develop a messed up devotion based on seeing Torchwick in her and therefore projecting Torchwick onto her, and then eventually that could lead to an actual slow burning redemption.
Meanwhile, Mercury is explicitly going wherever the wind takes him more or less and I also think that since he was raised to be an assassin by an abusive horrible father and then immediately got brought into Cinder's team and therefore Salem's (when we know both Cinder and Salem are abusive to their underlings) I always figured that Mercury didn't know much outside of violence, and if he was given a chance, he'd be able to slowly come around. And Emerald is obvious, she's the one who actually almost felt sad about Beacon and then doubted their actions later in Volume six. Her motivations were tied to Cinder, so imo the obstacle for her starting in on her redemption was just removing Cinder either by death or by having Emerald realize Cinder didn't care about her. This is actually one reason why I think her redemption was badly handled, Emerald's devotion to Cinder was really built up and even included in the very volume Em switched sides in, but didn't play any real part in her choice to leave and instead Emerald pretty much just left entirely out of self-preservation. But, her redemption was really likely from jump.
But yeah, I think that as far as redemption goes, I don't just look at 'who seems like they might not actually want to be evil,' I tend to look at things like 'who has a lot to lose,' 'who has motivations that might be easily swayed,' 'who seems like they might not be happy with their life as is,' 'is this person committed to a nefarious goal or is their involvement more by chance?' That kind of thing.
It's like, some redemptions are Zuko in ATLA, by the time he left his father for the last time to join the heroes group, he had completely seen the error of his ways and wanted nothing more than to help others and save the world. Then there are other redemptions that are like Michael in the Good Place, when he joined the group he was still a massive jerk doing bad things for fun, he just also wanted to fry a bigger fish and allied himself with the humans to do it, and it took time to get him from there to 'these guys are my friends and I want them to be safe' to him talking ethics and giving speeches about how humans can always get better while he tried to save the world.
In the longest running (non-published) AU rwby fic I have that my sis and I did after being disappointed in volume 6, Torchwick, Emerald, Mercury, and Neo all more or less got redeemed together - Roman survived the Beacon attack and was trying to seek out Cinder to find out what happened to Neo, who had been captured by Salem, and he ran into Mercury and Emerald who had just run away after the Haven attack (where Cinder actually did die and Emerald became the Fall Maiden) and they joined up with Roman in his quest to join up with Ruby's group because Emerald wanted revenge on Salem for Cinder's sake. And then while they had joined the good side, they consistently got into hateful arguments and Mercury kept talking about ditching, and eventually they managed to free Neo, who stayed 'on the good side' for Roman's sake while continuously trying to convince him to ditch but at this point the semblance I'd given Roman (which is survival) had made it so he felt like he had to stay with Ruby's group because it was the best way to survive. And only after a grueling year-long adventure filled with turmoil, trauma, spending tons of time with the good guys, some of them getting captured by Salem again, temporarily losing their semblances, encountering a Grimm similar to Apathy only it made everyone angry rather than apathetic so they all got into a huge fight where stuff got addressed... Only after all of that did they actually fully really change, and even then, Neo specifically took longer than the others to really change because she took awhile to stop being jealous that Torchwick cared about people other than her and was prioritizing saving the world over just taking care of her. It was a lot of fun! But yeah, I think this post was way way way too long just to say 'actually I think Neo could've been redeemed before getting possessed by the Cat.' XD
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eric-the-bmo · 2 years ago
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ok spin wheel for Carrot and Cherry but. Watermelon for Theo if there is somethin if not spin wheel again
ooh hell yeah okay let's go!!
this is. lets go man my brain's just here 🥕 [CARROT] How tough is your OC against certain situations? How weak are they against others?
ooh let's see who i get-
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Oh my god MONARCH MY BOY- Monarch is,,,, so cringefail [/affectionate]. They're so bad at most things needed to survive in their world: They choose aesthetic over how powerful a weapon is, don't really know how to strategize that much, they kinda panic when up against stronger foes, they're like,, not good at this and would totally die a lot more if it wasn't for their royal guard helping them out. He kinda fumbles with combat at times, but can normally hold his own- the problem is facing up against stronger enemies and Bosses,,, However! Monarch is very good at building and decorating! Sure, he's not the best compared to everyone else that exists in the world, but he's better than everyone else he knows! Not to mention, this kid has a lot of charisma and charm [see: arrogance] to make up for his lack of combat skill. And, well, since he's died a lot, he kind of exercises a lot of caution when exploring new places (like caves, or Hell), however that caution is completely discarded when compared to his reckless curiousity and his commitment to the bit [see: the time they set off a trapped chest while his guard was trying to disarm it]
(oh when you're an immortal self-proclaimed evil overlord you get into so many shenanigans)
🍒 [CHERRY] Who is your OC's perfect companion?
ooh, cute!
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oh shit it's been a while since i've thought about this guy, uh-
I want to say Penelope? That's his wife, after all; however, yknow, after spending a lot of time in a half-dead state solely kept alive by a sentient star, I'd say maybe the star??
Or is this a question asking what kind of person would balance him out?? Or about an animal companion???
This question is so vague and Ody is more of a Concept, still, really- anyway. moving on. hmg watermelon, a good fruit.
🍉 [WATERMELON] What will your OC take to the grave?
...HEY. QUOW????? SIR?? hm. this is actually a good question? I don't think Theodore's done anything too horrible yet. Like he's 19 year old with anxiety, yknow?
However, the fact he's a Changeling; you don't really want normal people finding out about that, y'know? Don't wanna get taken to a psych ward,,,,
[what if i just make something up, huh? catch me projecting an Experience onto this guy and saying the only time he got high was because he accidentally took too much of his anxiety meds once /lh]
ok ok let's do the Wheel for Watermelon lets go-
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Oh this is easy- he purposefully killed a man during the operation the guy booked. As a doctor, Sasha kinda has a no-kill rule, but sometimes your patients just admit to doing really awful things, and like, their organs are right there.
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mangodestroyer · 2 months ago
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Right! Yeah, as a biological creature myself, I haven't experienced much of the reproductive drive myself. Idk if I'm on the ace spectrum or just don't find people who I personally find attractive very often. Also heard that it's normal for mammals to not be driven in this way when they are stressed/traumatized. That could also explain some things...
I'm maybe projecting my lack of interest in having kids onto Aziraphale and Crowley. I mean... NG used to say that they weren't biological creatures and were infertile. That made me so JEALOUS! But I'm also realizing that NG is unreliable when it comes to GO world-building... I've always found his input confusing and sometimes even bland? Such as Crowley not actually being a snek? Not sorry, that is one hill I'm always going to DIE on! Am I the only one bothered by this?
Anyway, yeah. Now that you point it out... where did the anti-Christ come from? Satan is his father after all... idk. I thought that happened through magic or "God's will" or something. Idk how things work with Christianity. I wasn't raised with the Bible and never went to church (my parents are atheists and I grew up going to a Native American school), so I'm still learning a LOT about its cultural influences. Um... I suppose I have heard of Bible stories where Demons had offspring with humans to create horrible monsters? Or undercover angels getting "frisky" with the humans as a part of their "mission?" Is that a part of the lore?
I mean... I'm not opposed to the idea of Crowley and Aziraphale having kids ig. But if they are... I personally want it to be weird because they're supernatural and Crowley is LITERALLY a monster. Like, what, does Crowley have a clutch sometimes? Is reproduction done through magic? Do they do weird interdimensional things? The idea of Maggie being their great-granddaughter works. Close enough to still bear a resemblance. I've been told I sort of look like a great-grandparent. Said great-grandparent had auburn hair, greyish eyes (the green in my eyes is very grey), and a very similar facial structure. Apparently, I inherited those "adorable" apple cheeks from her.
As someone on the spectrum, I relate to them tbh. I feel removed from the human experience as well! I can also do math and shit... which is sorcery to a surprising number of people I've met throughout my life? And am also good at memorizing books? Some of my senses are also heightened... but I feel blind/disabled compared to other humans in many different ways too! But they sometimes also seem oblivious to things that feel like instinct to me. That's probably what life is like for Aziraphale and Crowley... especially Crowley! I mean... does anyone ever think about how an interdimensional snek perceives the world? He CLEARLY seems to be able to perceive things in peculiar ways that Aziraphale and biological creatures can't. He's also able to use miracles in ways that other celestial beings can't and has a strong visual imagination that helps him manipulate human technology/ideas. He seems like he could be the autistic version of a celestial being, tbh. It's probably part of why he fell.
Isopraxism
Isopraxism aka Limbic Synchrony aka Mirroring: Intuitive, instinctual, human brain process whereby humans unconsciously mirror the speech patterns, postures, and/or expressions of those with whom they connect and often spend time. Similar behavior exists in the animal kingdom. In a human relationship, especially deep friendships and romantic relationships, it is a sign of firm trust, deep connection and understanding, and a strong, emotional bond.
Example:
Crowley's "well" + Eyebrows expression, seen in multiple scenes, is one of his default responses, yes? We see it in Eden, like below, and in The Dirty Donkey in S2 and even when Crowley does it in while in Aziraphale's body during the body swap.
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This Crowley default response is just the kind of expression and speech pattern that a trusted partner might unconsciously pick up after years of time spent bonding with him...
...which is why it's not surprising when Aziraphale, praying in S1, suddenly "well" + Eyebrows...
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muffindaddystyles · 3 years ago
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Can you write overprotective long hair harry imagine?? Like he always hovers the reader when she is doing something or even nothing. Or when she needs to run errands he always go with even though its not required. And when reader fell sick he is full on mommy daddy mode dom!h vibes
A/N: OOPS I GOT EXCITED AND WENT OVERBOARD WITH IT :D
Harry’s awfully sweet. He’s a literal sweetheart with those marble sepia eyes, hazelnut curls and that big golden kind heart of his's.
But, to people he’s intimidating. From the black loiter of tattoos, a silver of piercing to the corner of his plush bottom lip and those long curls of his's that frays his broad strong shoulders turns everyone too giddy to talk to him and he's okay with that – bunch of loosers anyways whom he doesn’t want to waste his time on chit-chatting.
Then Y/N came into his life and his world flipped upside down, in a beautiful way (where he felt like floating into the crashing waves of crystal sea). It felt like she made him see the world through pink heart-shaped glasses and everyone’s just bursting into rainbows, puffaw! Boom! Their heads blasting with colourful confetti and ribbons.
Even though his slight grouchiness towards people lessened he still doesn’t gives two fucks before punching the shit out of someone if they in any way hurts, be rude and try to take physical and emotional advantage of, Y/N.
His bunny.
He’s too protective of her. And why wouldn’t he? She’s his everything. His little miracle and his hype-person, his lovie.
He’s the softest peach for her. The guy who walks and everyone scrambles away to give him a way, is whipped for his girlfriend.
He’s always having his strong arm looped around her waist when they’re out and walking, going to hold her hands instead if she’s too wiggly, keeping her close to his chest while he holds their coffees and sweets.
Whenever they’re doing grocery he’s always wheeling the cart around how much Y/N insists and pouts, he likes it that way. Hearing her blabber and skim her eyes down the ingredients labelled on the products then tossing it anyway with a shrug – makes him want to smooch her wet in kisses.
If they’re partying out with friends. Which they rarely do, (Y/N sometimes makes fun of them saying they’re getting too domestic day by day) he’s always having her put in his lap, his screwed up expression lazing when the alcohol starts to kick in and he’s just a blubbering mess of nonsense, and a very horn dog with his cock bloating up in his tight skinny jeans.
Not that he doesn’t let her have a breather and enjoy herself. He indeed does, they’ve a healthy relationship where they keep trust and faith in eachother.
But, sometimes he gets super jealous when people steal his little girlfriend away from him and once home he’s cuddling and oodling her, kissing her face all over with loud smacks and not letting her be away from him another second even it’s too bring him water or to get rid of his smelly socks.
Other times. When he’s particularly very jealous. The serious ones where Y/N unintentionally spends a tad more time at some of her classmates to wind up their upcoming project, he’s driving himself to pick her up and knocking at the door harshly and then dragging her out of there not letting her carry her stuff and huffing and puffing while throwing her things in the backseat.
Because Jeremy’s a sore rascal who’s shit at hiding his crush for Y/N and he should know better to whom she belongs. His innocent baby is too naive towards the possible hints and evil intentions of people.
“Oi. What got into you today?” She brushes the loose curl that escaped from his bun and let her fingers slide down his tight set angry jaw staring him a bit concerned upon seeing him this furious and ruffled up from nowhere.
“You’re mine,” Is all he'd respond. Smashing his lips against hers in a an ardent kiss and glide his palm down her ass to squeeze it and bring her closer grinning when she squeals into his mouth giving him a chance to slip his tongue in and kiss her deeper and sloppier.
“You’re a silly geese.” She giggles whisper into the mess of pecks and lock her elbows around his neck to give him an eskimo kiss.
“Watch y’mouth.” He glares her intensely loving the way Y/N gulps timidly bobbing her head.
“You’ll get a spanking today,” He always likes to warn her before hand. He wants her comfortable with him in every case and it’s downgrade monstrous to treat the person you love like a mean bitch out of blue -- so whenever she deserves a punishment he already announces her of it, warming her to the idea and giving her time to back away if she doesn’t want it.
“What did I’do now!” She whines and he nibbles onto his knuckle glancing her way in disbelief other hand on steering wheel, “What did y'do?” He asks her sternly. Spreading his palm over her thigh and squeezing it grimly.
“Did y'even care to look at the time, Y/N?” Oh boy. She’s in real trouble. Her name on his tongue never fails to turn her insides gooey and pause her heartbeat horribly. A red light for her to being bratty before she falls into the deep black dig of trouble.
Reaching home. He’s throwing her on the bed and demanding her to lay still on her tummy while he puts a pillow under her and spanks her bum sore with his rings imprinting her skin pink, though he never forgets to take care of her afterwards – putting a cool cream to soothe the burn and letting her sleep on his chest so she wouldn’t come in contact with the sheets as he kneads her asscheeks with gentle hands.
.
He could never have his hands to himself when she’s cooking and baking for them. Always, poking and prodding around having her head tucked under his chin, her embraced in his arms from back swaying them along to Hozier while she reads the recipe she wrote on one of the tiles.
“Stop!” She giggles, squirming in his arms when he blows raspberries against the dip of her neck and then creates growly noises biting and lapping into her skin, “You’re gonna burn our lunch!” She pressed her hips against his crotch to push him away and that warmed him more, delving his fingers more into her hips with a throaty groan.
“We could have a takeout.” His breath shuddery against her ear as he tries to pry the spatula away from her and kiss her grumpy whines down when the pots actually got burned, “I’ll wash and scratch them.” He’d assure picking her up and wrapping her legs around his hips and slipping his fingers in her hair to tug them and bring her mouth down against his’s to taste her.
“Wants to fuck you so bad, baby. My cock’s been weepy fo’ hours without your touch.” He groans, taking her hand and sneaking it inside his joggers to make her feel how stiff and erect he’s for her.
“I just gave you a blowie in the morning!”
“Blowie isn’t equivalent to fucking!”
.
“What y'readin,?” He scoots closer to her end of sofa with a smirk and towers over her trying to take a peek of whatever she’s reading with such intensity and then rake his warm palms up her calves to lay them over his thighs while he snuggles her wrapping a chonky blanket around them.
“Shhh baby girl, just want you to be more comfy.” He mumbles into her hair scratching his short nails against her scalp in soothing motions and watch her melt against his touch, eyes fluttering as she lurks dangerously to the verge of sleep.
“You always do that. Whenever the hot part’s about to come, you make me all sleepy.” She mutters laying her head against his clavicles gazing him up with hazy eyes, sighing in feign disappointment when he grins down at her in quite victory and gives her a sloppy kiss.
“What do y'need erotica fo’ baby? When your man’s the living walking momentum of sex.” He pouts, grazing his teeth down her neck and leaving a fresh hickey at her throat.
“That’s infact not, true. You’re such a cutie!” She beams up at him never failing to give him dancing butterflies in his stomach and he doesn’t admits it but he likes getting treated soft and gentle by his girlfriend.
“Such a shame. My own little love doesn’t find me sexy.” He grumps dramatically making her scramble hesitantly and turn to him in their tight embrace, cradling his face in her cold palms, “No. No. I find you sexy. I just don’t like sexualising you.” If Harry didn’t turn into a puddle before he indeed did now as he melted into her touch and kissed the inside of her hands lovingly.
“You’re sucha sap!” He whispers at her in fake offence and plant his lips against hers, patting her bum to make her hug him more tightly.
.
On cleaning and laundry day’s. He’s always helping her. As they scrub and mop the floors together, might fuck on them bubbly floors too if Harry’s lusty gaze remains on her spilling tits for too long.
“Thinks your floral bra needs a wash too, moppet.” His gradual attempts to lure her with his fingers stroking her thighs seductively always turns into a win when she nods shyly into his neck and let him have an easy access to her panties.
They’re always having a warm, full of essence bath together cleaning and washing the dirt off eachother after that.
Then sharing a cuppa tea while folding their clothes together on the bed and he’s always trying to tackle her into mattress when she laughs at his terribly folded clothes compared to her neatly binded ones.
“Your sucha menace,” He jests with his nose skewered up while he smacks her ass.
“Talk for yourself, Styles.” She retorts, tangling her knee around his waist and pulling him down into him. Puffing out relaxed breaths upon feeling safe and protected under his weight and Harry always smiles into the crook of her neck when she tries to cuddle him as if she wants to be his skin.
..
He’s the most daddiest when she’s drunk, sick or stressed.
Never letting her go out of his sight when she’s dancing on the floor with her friends. If some man even tries to approach her and breaths in her direction he’s sprinting towards her and pawing at her hips to situate her closer to him whilst blowing those potential guys off with a monotone expression.
“Harry! Do a lil dancey dance with me!” She giggles, making him sway with her and looking up at him with glassy floaty eyes.
“Bunny. ‘s late, time to go home.” He tells her, pinching her chin to plant his lips against hers and she squirms giving him a timid smile, “Okie. But I’ve to pee.”
“Me too!” Her friends chimes from behind her and Harry rolls his eyes playfully, gesturing all of them to follow him.
“C’mon you spies, not lettin’ ya’ll go alone.”
He waits for them outside the washroom while they do their business and he has his arms always splayed open for when his lovie comes back and he’s welcoming her in his embrace warmly with a sweet smile.
Dying with fond injecting in his every vein when she slurs and blabbers, “Home.”
Walking her up the stairs of their flat’s building is the most hefty struggle while she’s a sleepy, clumsy and giggly muck of doe gleaming eyes and swollen pretty lips drooling over Harry testing his patience while he makes her take one step at a time.
“Darling, bunny, just some mo' steps lovin’.” He coos at her, putting a firm hand under her bum and heaving her up into him so she doesn’t falls.
“Mhmmm you’re so pretty, daddy.” Harry’s head snaps in surprise as he stares down at her in adoring amusement and push her head under his chin while she slings her arms around his waist lazily.
Sometimes, she gets him so flustered he doesn’t know how to respond.
She whines and cries in dishevelment when Harry makes her sit on the cold marble counter and wipes her makeup off.
“I just wan’ to sleep!” She toes at his torso trying to push him away but he grabs it and tuts, glowering at her strictly, “You’re g'na complain in the mornin’. Sleepin’ with makeup makes ye' breakout remember?” When she still huffs and slumps giving him a hard time to clean her he’s pinching her chin and giving her a gentle jerk.
“Bunny. Stop with ye' battiness.” He grunts not letting his facade slip when she mewls stroking her cheek up and down his lightly stubble covered cheek softly.
“Else what? Y'never punish a sleepy bunny.” She smirks at him foppishly and lazily knowing damn well that one of thing Harry doesn’t do’s tease or punish her when she’s tuckered out and on the edge of sleeping on him.
“You don’t test me bratty woman.” She squeals when he takes hold of her panties to pull them down her legs, slapping her mound once discarding it in the hamper and he sighs when she’s already snoring lightly, slobbering his throat with her mouth parted comically.
After pattering her face with loving kisses he’s tucking her under the layers of blankets and letting her use him as her stuffie.
..
“Aw poor baby.” He mumbles, kissing her forehead when he finds her burning up against him and he’s quickly rummaging for thermometer from the night stand and the tissues he had stashed for emergencies.
“I don’t feel good,” His heart breaks when Y/N croaks out weakly and tries to crawl up his chest to stuff her face in his musky neck but her frail limbs gives out making her cry out.
“It’s okay bunny, ‘s okay. How but I make you some soup. Then y'take your medicines like a good girl of mine, then if your condition gets worse we’ll go to doctor, yeah baby?” He talks to her gently and sweetly, stroking her hair and peppering kisses to her temples.
“Just last bite, moppet.” Harry hovers the spoon infront of her and sighs when she shakes her head pushing his wrist away, “I’ll puke.” She sniffs blowing her nose harshly in the tissue .
“The bin’s right here, bunny.” He smoothens his hand down her spine putting the tray aside carefully to snuggle and comfort her as she cries softly against his chest.
“’M so sorry baby, you’ll be alright in the morning.” He couldn’t see her in such condition. It pulls and tugs at his heart so painfully he feels himself hurting.
“Oi. Why you crying, hmm?” He cups her cheek and makes her look at him as she skims her eyes away from him jn embarrassment.
“I —- You’re so caring and loving, treats me so good and it makes me c.. cr–-,” She hiccups finding it hard to breath and Harry rubs her back, whispering affinities in her ear making her finally sob, “Cry....” He chuckles softly pelting kisses upon kisses on her puffy eyelids, soaky dried up cheeks, her frowned up forehead, her wobbly chin and her nipping love bites down her chest then blowing raspberries at his own slick covering her skin making her giggle through her hiccups.
“I love you.” She whispers droopily, head lulling to his chest when the effect of medicine finally starts to kick in.
“I love you too, I want my healthy and happy bunny back.” He mumbles, inhaling a huge puff of her scent and squishes her lovingly.
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amethystroselily · 3 years ago
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I reread chapter 4 of bsd, and I noticed the reason that Akutagawa slapped Higuchi is because she tried to kill Atsushi despite the fact that the orders were to take him alive. And I was like that kind of makes him a hypocrite bc he tries to kill him like five seconds later, but then I noticed the reason he even attempted to kill Atsushi is because he was about to attack Higuchi. And I think that’s kind of interesting. (I somehow never noticed either of those things before, despite having watched/read that scene at least seven times before. Idk.)
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Anyways I originally didn’t have anything else to really say about that, but that’s very much a reflection of his relationship with Dazai isn’t it? Because that’s the thing that pissed Dazai off in the dark era. Killing people instead of keeping them alive when that would be more profitable.
Also I do think Akutagawa cares about Higuchi to some extent. He’s harsh with her but he also protects her. I wonder if that’s how he views his own relationship with Dazai. Dazai waged near constant psychological warfare against him, but he also took him off the streets and gave him a job and a reason to live. And also probably gave him and his sister protection in the mafia. A level of safety they’d never otherwise have. As long as he was useful nothing bad would happen to them. And as horribly as he was treated I think he’s grateful for that. And he tries to show that same kindness to the people in his care. He wants them to be stronger, he wants them to be able to fend for themselves and have a reason to keep living. Higuchi is thankful (albeit probably for a different reason than Akutagawa himself was), and it’s the worst thing that’s ever happened to Kyouka.
*insert Kyouka interlude which ended up longer than I expected and kind of throws the pacing of this post off*
(The reason it was so horrible for Kyouka but an improvement for Akutagawa is probably because she came from a happy family with parents who loved her more than anything and then witnessed them die and was taken in by a group of people who treated her horribly and forced her to kill, whereas Akutagawa grew up starving on the streets, all of the adults he interacted with were hostile, and he already had to kill to survive. When he entered the mafia, he was offered money, and food, and shelter, and protection. All sorts of base needs and comforts he’d never really had before.
Also Dazai is smarter and more self aware than Akutagawa and a lot better at manipulation, so he realizes different people react differently to things depending on their experiences. And i think that’s the problem, Akutagawa is using manipulation tactics without fully understanding how they work (or maybe even that it is manipulation honestly? Like obviously he knows, but he doesn’t know, you know?) or when to use them. He’s kind of just copying Dazai. Because sometimes he’s just straight up quoting Dazai when he says horrible shit to people. I think Dazai and Akutagawa both thought that this was for the best, but Dazai’s actions were tailored for specifically Akutagawa to get him to do specific things. Whereas Akutagawa just kind of sees it as “this worked for me, it should work for her”. Also he just doesn’t doesn’t have some grand secret thousand step plan set out for her like Dazai has for him. I think they both see the abuse as ultimately helpful, but Dazai in a much more round about way. (Kind of like the headmaster, but instead of wanting Akutagawa to hate him he still needs him to cling onto him because Dazai still has plans he needs to use Akutagawa for, so can’t really let him off the hook). (Of course they’re both wrong, it’s an objectively fucked up thing to do to a person, they’re both selfish and probably taking out their own self hatred out on some random kid they decided to project onto to some extent, and Akutagawa’s a little delusional, but I’m not here to debate the morality of their actions bc that gets so repetitive and I think I stopped caring like three years ago, and it’s kind of besides the point of this post.)
*Done*
ANYWAYS, back to Higuchi. Despite how harsh Akutagawa is with her, I do think he’s showing her care as his subordinate. He goes against orders to protect her (also, I’m pretty sure the reason he killed those people Dazai was mad about in the dark era was bc he was protecting his coworkers, and I think that’s really interesting) and he thanks her when she returns the favor when he gets kidnapped even though you wouldn’t think he’d be the type to do so. While I don’t think he’ll ever return her romantic affections, he doesn’t hate her, and honestly she might be one of the people he cares about most, considering the pool of people he cares about is seemingly so small. He’s terrible to her, but he probably wants the best for her on some level.
I wonder if Dazai views their relationship the same way. Or if he’s treating her the way he wishes Dazai treated him. (Bc I don’t think Akutagawa saw the harsh treatment as that bad (it’s the mafia), I think he just wishes he’d toned it down slightly.) Because I could see it either way. Like, Dazai probably really did offer him protection within the mafia. But he was probably on his own when it came to enemies. But then again, Dazai was probably still watching out for him to some extent.
It’s makes me wonder if both pairs ever had good moments. Like calm moments that weren’t violent. Because considering just how hung up they are on people who treat them poorly, there must be some reason for them to long for a good relationship with that person. I suppose for Higuchi it’s those little moments of gratitude and protection, and for Akutagawa it really might just be the promise Dazai made him when they first met. But like, Dazai was probably semi-nice to him on occasion. Because Akutagawa doesn’t seem to hate him. Not really. He definitely resents him. But I also think he might miss him a little.
Anyways I have no idea where I meant to go with this.
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rubberduckyrye · 5 months ago
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To respect your fic and the spoilers, I will also put this under a readmore :D
Oooooh, I had a feeling it was ASPD or BPD. I know those disorders are often demonized to hell and back and I know a little bit about BPD due to osmosis and my own studying for when I was looking up to see if I had BPD and/or for my Kokichi's backstory with Kenzo, where he gets Kokichi diagnosed very early on as a child with BPD to further gaslight and control the people around Kokichi into believing he's acting out and all when he doesn't even HAVE actual BPD. I've heard horror stories of Autistic people being misdiagnosed with BPD and having the worst time with medical professionals because of it. I was even advised by MY OWN THERAPIST not to pursue the diagnosis because the treatment for BPD is CBT and having BPD on my profile would ruin my ability to get anything done.
I digress though!
I had no idea that ASPD involved chronic boredom like that--then again it seems like a lot of problematic behavioral symptoms of several mental disorders stem from boredom (Lord knows how Boredom from my ADHD has me going crazy--there's a reason why ADHDers are also known for being adrenaline junkies, I've heard stories of kids throwing things at their siblings just because they were so bored) really I'm starting to understand Junko more and mroe the more I realize how crippling boredom is as a feeling and I'm Scared of that xD
And I know how boredom can quickly lead to suicidal thoughts too.
My own boredom stints lead to self hatred and those horrible thoughts, and tbh my only reliable way to get rid of those feelings is to take a fucking Nap. Sometimes I need to take my anxiety meds to help me shut off my brain tbh like I have insanely rapid thoughts.
That's really valid of you not to respect the DSM tbh--I'm also frustrated with how people treat ADHD in how it disrupts others lives rather than how it affects the individual. As an OSDD system myself, I'm also not soo sure how I feel about cutting out the seperation of OSDD 1-a and OSDD 1-b because I actually find the differences to be helpful! I have OSDD 1-b, AKA I have distinguished Alters who are Not Me but I don't have huge blackouts. I actually often give Kokichi OSDD 1-a, him having multiple alters that are versions of himself but with blackouts. Yay for projecting your mental bullshit onto your faves! Still I'm Rambling I am Sorry
I honestly want to do more research on ASPD in general, but since it's one of the harshly stigmatized disorders, I'm going to guess there's a LOT of garbage on the internet about it. Mind telling me and my followers more, since you know way more about it than I suspect the random internet page I find via research will know?
Feel free to take the time to infodump about it here! I'm sure me and my followers would be happy to learn the full scope of the disorder from a lens that doesn't demonize it--ah, unless it's emotionally taxing to do so? I just noticed your tags nasjdjkdnask If it's too much to ask then feel free to just say as such, but I would love some reading material if you know any good ones.
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@kindlyre
Okay I'm VERY curious as to what mental illness you're writing Rantaro to have because it seems to be one of those stigmatized ones and I'm v curious???
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