#So hopes she has better origins without the sad bits attached

[mushroom-for-art]

@eeveelutiontwos Xiangliu: The Azuretwo stared quietly at Vismay for a good long moment, dark pink tail swishing behind her. When she finally spoke, it was to say:

"You are very beautiful."

Another moment of silence.

"...Are you like me? I have a purpose I was created for. Do you have one?" While the sentence could come off badly in text, Xiangliu's voice held only genuine curiosity.

The old mew startled slightly at her compliment ears up before lowering in a bashful manner mouth falling into a smile, "You are too kind dearest one," one of his top paws idly brushed through the fur of his chest, "although the sun and ages have weathered my form I accept your compliment with gratitude and warmth," he moved in his float to bow to her in show of gratitude and general display of his manners paws moving in a flourish before righting himself to observe her in great intrigue.

"Forgive me if this is rude but you are a mewtwo correct?" Moving around her carefully, "my and something else yes I sense it, Eevee dna I'm sure," a paw to his mouth in thoughts before remembering himself, "ah I apologise but I believe I have not had the honor of this form of evolution in my own world, dragon typing yes?"

"You are if I may say far more beautiful than I, I am honored to be in your company. Having the opportunity to become even only briefly aware of the vast variables of evolution across the multiverses meeting pokemon that I may never meet back home, it's a privilege to always be learning so thank you." His voice carried so much wonder and warmth for having met her.

Though it was somewhat obvious they were avoiding her question using the opportunity of meeting her and a new eeveelution to keep the conversation away.

The guilt however of not answering her question when it was likely she was trying to reach out and bond with an individual she believed to be like herself caught him first before she had to ask again or believed she may have crossed a boundary. He gave a sad smile to her as he exhaled from his nose slowly.

"I'm afraid I was created without a true purpose, just like how through random variable your world has a dragon evolution of Eevee, random variables led to my existence, it was purely chance I'm here now." One of their ears moves to the side then righted itself as he thought, "I was given tasks of course and purpose but," ears flattened again in sadness their voice faltered cracking until it quietened having miscalculated how ready for the discussion he was. He offered a sad shy smile of apology.

Clearing their throat coughing into a paw they regained their voice and spoke again, "I do what I can in the meantime, I help keep the dna of lost pokemon stored," he patted his chest above his heart, "so they're never truly gone even if extinct, reintroducing older dna into species for biodiversity, typical mew work even if I'm not technically," he moved his head in sort of a wobble not finishing the sentence since it was pretty evident he wasn't a traditional mew by any means.

"While, I know that was likely not the answer you expected may I ask about your purpose? I would love to hear to be enlightened about you and the world you reside in, I'm aware of mewtwo often having, complicated origins, perhaps yours are kinder than what I know?"

Ft Vismay sketch reaction to compliment I was too lazy to finish because giving me a hard time and too cowardly to add in main post but please behold the silly getting surprised

[captainninej]

shadow and bone season 2 thoughts!!

me and my sister finally finished season 2 of shadow and bone last night and HOLY SHIT. despite everyone shitting on it for some reason, i actually fucking loved it!! there were some absolutely incredible moments and overall i think they did a really good job blending the books; some decisions i may have slight reservations about but i can see the logic behind each of them from a writing perspective (except for maybe one of them, which i'll talk about later). every single character got their moment and i don't think anyone can say that there was a single flaw on the acting side. these actors BECAME their characters and we are so so lucky we got such an amazing cast, who care about their characters this much!!

SPOILERS BELOW

things i liked:

Alina's storyline. i actually have not read the original trilogy past halfway through siege & storm, but i know what happens in the books and how her story ends. jessie mei li gave alina her absolute all in this season and i thought she did an incredible job. i like how she got a bit messy and power-hungry, doubted herself and her leadership, snapped a few times. her reaction to mal being the third amplifier absolutely broke my heart AND THE SCENE IN THE FOLD WHERE THEY KISS AND IT ALL TURNS RED AND GLOWING WAS SO BEAUTIFUL. i also like how she's part of the grisha triumvirate (though david in my view 100% deserved to be there :( ) because her ending in the books to me would be really unsatisfying. she didn't go through all that shit to become a housewife. ALSO THE ENDING??? HER GOING KINDA BAT SHIT??? EVIL ALINA??? since i haven't read the books i actually don't know if this actually happened at some stage BUT I KIND OF LOVE IT FOR HER. i think if they can pull it off (and give me white haired alina i will die on this hill) it could be super cool, and not something we see in media very often, especially with female leads. without mal to ground her, i want to see how dark she can get.

Mal!!! someone is going to send me a death threat for this (which is very messed up how liking a character can cause someone to do that) but FUCK IT i like mal. i really love the humanity archie gives him, and his own little moments like paying the shop owner in novyi zem and bantering with nikolai. also his morozova storyline was done really well, and you can see how crushing it is for him to realise that he has to die for alina to succeed. also his outfits idk just really suit him? he really grounded alina throughout the season and i'm honestly not sure why it's a crime to like him. i think he's severely underrated and will hopefully be appreciated more in the years to come, just like how peeta was dragged for years but now everyone is starting to see how wonderful he always was. i also did not see his ending coming, but i really like it now that i think about it. his character has always been so attached to alina, and like he said, now that the morozova side of him is gone, he doesn't know who he is. while it was sad to see him say that he doesn't know if he loves alina anymore, i also really respect the 'choice not destiny' thing and how he wants to make sure that he loves her for her, beyond the amplifier bond they shared. it's been a common theme throughout his story that he's been forced to be a soldier his whole life, but has always just wanted to explore the world and now he gets to do that!! i like the idea of mal having his own adventures and his own leadership role beyond alina, and i think their relationship will be better for it.

NIKOLAI LANTSOV. listen my friend has been simping for this man since high school AND I UNDERSTAND WHY NOW. i've read the KoS duology and adored him but PATRICK FUCKING GIBSON LITERALLY ROSE RIGHT FROM THOSE PAGES AND BECAME NIKOLAI. i hope the girlies who trashed his casting are very embarrassed right now, this man was BORN to play nikolai. he was my highlight of the season and i think i am in love now. he fit in with the s1 cast seamlessly and provided the perfect bridge between the crows and the s&b gang. i am a little upset we didn't get any interactions between him and zoya, but we got some hints AND the demon king tease so i'm willing to wait for it in season 3 (another reason i will be fucking furious if this amazing show is cancelled).

KANEJ. KANEJJJJJJJJ. i, along with many others, was TERRIFIED that netflix would butcher their relationship. there were a few moments (the hallucination scene, the bandage scene, etc) that i couldn't even enjoy because i was so scared they would kiss or something. BUT they didn't, and now i can go back and actually enjoy the scenes because they did them so well!! they were perfectly in character and honoured the books amazingly. their bond was strengthened so much this season AND THE FINAL SCENE IN THE CHAPEL THE ENTIRE TIME I WAS JUST SAYING THE WORDS ALONG WITH THEM BECAUSE THEY WERE RIGHT FROM THE BOOK!!!! freddy and amita CARRIED and their chemistry is so good sometimes i felt like i needed to look away omg

kaz being the messy, anti-hero bitch he was born to be. i think a lot of people who haven't read six of crows who watched season 1 didn't really get the fuss about kaz, but i think they do now. they really masterfully unpacked his character and freddy absolutely blew it out of the water with his acting. they really did kaz justice and somehow ended up adapting crooked kingdom before six of crows but i get why they did, the ice court heist needs to be its own focus, and the parts from crooked kingdom that they cherry picked for this season were purely for character development that was really needed for the crows. i liked how the audience was left guessing just how far he would go, like the scene with albie. AND THE SCENE WITH PEKKA IN EPISODE FOUR HAD MY JAW ON THE FLOOR, IT WAS PERFECT. also him hating on wesper was fucking funny, and his dynamic with nina was EVERYTHING I WANTED

GENYA SAFIN MY BELOVED. this entire season had me rooting for her and wanting to jump into the screen and give her a gun. daisy head CARRIED, she did such an amazing job and had me literally sobbing. genya's story is so devastating but she's such a powerful and kind character who really got to be in the spotlight this season. she and nikolai and zoya are my favourite og trilogy characters, and HER AND DAVID WERE SO FUCKING CUTE SHE DESERVES ALL THE HAPPINESS IN THE WORLD.

nina!!! danielle galligan absolutely nailed nina's energy and her being added to the crows at last was worth the wait. i love how she outsmarted the others and just got shit done.

we sadly didn't get as much zoya in this season as i wished however i ate up every scene she was in and screamed when she said she could fix nikolai lmao

WESPER MY BELOVED THEIR SCENES WERE SO CUTE AND WERE LIKE LITTLE POPS OF HAPPINESS AMONG ALL THE CHAOS HAPPENING THIS SEASON. the piano scene?? them under the cart during the shoot out?? them fighting in shu han and then wylan telling him he was the first person he wanted to tell about the butterflies?? i am on the FLOOR

WYLAN. wylan stepped right out of the books and he was GLORIOUS. jack wolfe nailed his energy, and i loved the details they included - like how he labelled his bottles with music so he could read them!! he and kit had incredible chemistry and i loved the conflict they had about jesper's grisha abilities and wylan's dyslexia, it felt really true to the books. ALSO HIM BEING SO EXCITED ABOUT THE BUTTERFLIES and then feeding them to the crew LMAO i will protect him at all costs.

tolya and tamar!!!! they were so fucking cool!!!!

the hallucination scene, for all the characters

the little hints to king of scars!! the bee landing on zoya's arm!! thought that was really clever

I WILL HAVE YOU WITHOUT YOUR ARMOUR KAZ BREKKER OR I WILL NOT HAVE YOU AT ALL. MY GIRL SAID I AINT FIXING YOU FIX YOURSELF

the beautiful colour alina's powers turned when she connected to mal and destroyed the fold

'i'm sorry, did you say mal is a bird?'

'everyone's lost their minds'

did i mention nikolai because nikolai

the costumes??? were so fucking gorgeous??? i couldn't take my eyes off them everyone looked AMAZING

THE ENDING HAD MY JAW ON THE FLOOR. I DID NOT SEE IT COMING AT ALL, I THOUGHT WE WOULD GET IDK SOME SEMI-HAPPY ENDING WITH THE CHARACTERS LEFT OPEN ENDED BUT HOLY SHIT IT WAS SUCH A GOOD CLIFFHANGER and a perfect segue into both six of crows and king of scars!!! it also makes sense timeline wise that it would happen, so i'm really happy with it and can't wait to see what they do with it!!

things i did not like

...wesper. or more specifically, the way they did wesper. i really don't see wylan as someone who would be going out having one night stands with people?? this was the writing choice i didn't get. idk, it just felt really out of character for him and it also just removed all of the tension from jesper and wylan's relationship. no 'just girls?', no 'i kind of like your stupid face', none of the pining that was so crucial to their relationship in the books. don't get me wrong, there were moments i loved, but the foundations of their relationship in the show were a weird choice that's only just balanced with the sheer joy of seeing them onscreen together.

matthias. mans spent all eight episodes in literal jail. with all the promo and stuff with the six of them, i really thought we were going to get all six of them onscreen together this season!! i think it was a waste to just keep him locked up, sometimes i forgot he was even there until they randomly cut to him in hellgate. idk with everything else going on this season they couldn't have let calahan skogman out of the prison set and have one scene with any of the characters?? i really feel like they wasted him here and i get that they're going to break him out for the ice court heist, but surely there could have been room for him with the other characters somehow this season.

alina and nikolai getting married and going through with the engagement??? PLEASE i do NOT want them together, not married, not nothing. i like how they had a *few* suggestive moments, but that was sort of enough. zoyalai is one of the best ships and i really don't want alina to be in the middle of them. i like their friendship but the idea of them actually getting married is just not it for me. i can see them like getting married but then nikolai and zoya falling for each other, if they can manage that then fine but it takes away the focus from zoya and nikolai and idk if i'm about that

DAVID. my boy did NOT deserve to die so early. his scenes with genya were so sweet AND THE STEEL PART FROM THE BOOKS HAD ME WEEPING. i'm really holding on to the fact that we didn't see his body and that genya couldn't feel his heartbeat because she wasn't amplified by baghra because fuck i want him to live and marry genya like he deserves. i am okay with being delusional

WHATEVER THE FUCK THAT LOOK WAS BETWEEN TOLYA AND INEJ GET RID OF IT I HATE IT

i can see why people are frustrated that they took a lot of crooked kingdom elements and put them before the ice court heist. the feud with pekka rollins was crucial to kaz's motivation to even go to fjerda. inej leaving (on a ship that kaz did not buy for her hmmmm) with mal to hunt slavers, how is she going to rejoin the crows? wesper already being together. i can see why they did these things but i can also see why readers would question it. i guess it's just switching the order of things, we'll see...

it did seem rushed - but i think the reason people are really noticing it is because of how slow season 1 was. don't get me wrong, i love season 1, but they really faithfully adapted book 1 of shadow and bone across the entire season; compared to season 2 where they adapted siege & storm, ruin & rising, and elements of the lives of the saints, crooked kingdom, six of crows and king of scars. i honestly think if they shaved off a couple of characters - like that annoying tidemaker chick, pekka rollins even, vasily - there would have been a bit of breathing room. it sort of felt like BAM massive thing happens and then BAM switching to the next scene with a different set of characters. i understand again why they did it - they don't know if they're getting a third season - but it does stand out as a bit of a flaw.

maybe this is a personal thing, but i kind of like how king of scars moved away from alina and mal's story to focus on the other characters. i completely understand why they've kept alina and mal in the show - they're the two main leads, and to get rid of archie and jessie would be sad - but now that their story is more or less finished, i hope alina doesn't take up too much of what is going to be king of scars. i am 100% down to see her evil era and her white hair, but i also want there to be room for the other characters beyond just alina and i'm curious to see if they'll be able to pull that off with her still around.

for all the fuss about the fold, it being gone within the first ten minutes of the finale was kind of funny lol

overall i really loved this season despite a couple of gripes, and i don't see why everyone is being so shitty about it. yes it's not accurate to the books, but i think more importantly it's really accurate to the characters and that's what matters!!! ALSO PLEASE KEEP STREAMING BECAUSE IF WE DON'T GET A SEASON 3 WE WILL NEVER SEE ZOYALAI OR THE ICE COURT HEIST OR THE ACTUAL SIX OF CROWS COMING TOGETHER MATTHIAS WILL STAY IN JAIL FOREVER DO IT FOR THEMMMM

[tabbi-mysteries]

452-467

That's actually two nights worth of episodes I was just busy.

Phantom of Konpira is well phantom of the opera so fairly straightforward. I do like that someone on the anime original writing team got attached to this little theatre troupe they made they and I'm sad that the wiki says that's there last appearance so far. Bring them back again.

Preview screening is a fun case cause it goes a little against the normal structure with the prevention of the crime instead and I like that and the hopeful ending. If I must nitpick tho, the guy didn't need to be in love with the victim as well, he can be sad his friend died without needing to be in love with her good grief. (Also my friend lost it at the star wars parody cause he had no idea it was coming) also hi widescreen!

The overturned conclusion is a fun detective boys case and I think it's the start of 'genta panicks thinking he accidentally killed someone' which will proceed to happen multiple times poor boy. I have no idea how the culprit planned on getting away with this long term tho. He's not good at thinking things through.

The mystery I loved could have been as simple as maybe ask the old lady first you idiot. If she's that good of a mystery writer to impress Shinichi and she was down for it this plan could have gone way better.

Sonoko's red handkerchief is a case I adore because a) Sonoko and b) Ran and Makoto sending a gang's worth of old men flying as a conclusion. I kinda wish the fight had been longer to be honest.

A mysterious man is one of those weird little cases where everyone is a bit fucked up and the plan seems not very well thought through...

Ova 7 (I think) is very cute and I like recognising the method to solving codes and ciphers even if I can't read them so that was neat. Also I relate hard to Agasa's poor eyesight here. I would be useless at providing information in my whereabouts without my glasses.

Class 1B's great operation is adorable though! So so good! Again with fun codes with recognisable methods even if you don't know Japanese and Haibara gets a spotlight in mystery solving and leading the kids and it was very cute.

The missing page is also cute. Simple but has a cute little message. Genta's book report is a mood even tho I'm a bookworm myself.

The shadow of the black organization is... well the cases are fine but the link to the overarching plot feels... a little eh I guess? Eisuke is one of the characters I want to like and yet find myself struggling to :( also the victim from the second half sure was a terrible person. Divorce was probably still the better option tho guy.

(my friend has a collection of bizarre half formed theories here that are okay but mostly a little off cause they are of the opinion that Eisuke and Rena don't actually look that alike somehow XD)

The unsmashable snowman is a nice case cause I think the trick is neat and the detective boys are particularly cute. Damn the victim/culprit and suspects are all kinda like what on earth is with you people though.

Phew that was a lot of EPs. I should get my thoughts out on the daily instead of doing this again. Looking forward to tomorrow tho! My boy KID is there! The next film! Of which all I know is it's pirate themed. Babby Shinichi and Ran! Teasing my friend who lives Eri and despairs over Eri/Kogoro! And maybe even reaching Genta killing a man. Maybe. Depends how much time we have. But theres a lot to look forward to.

[townofcrosshollow]

Twine Sugarcube 101

AKA, all you need to make a Twine game (I swear to god)

I’ve seen a lot of people go “Twine is too complicated for me :(” and give up before they’ve even started. And that makes me sad, partly because they’re giving up on a really cool hobby, and also because that’s false! It’s absolutely not too complicated for you!

I think the problem is that people look up Twine, see the documentation, and go “There’s way too much there! I can’t learn all that!” Well guess what- you shouldn’t learn all that, at least not yet. As a beginner you can skip pretty much all of this:

(Ignore <<linkappend>> too, forgot to crop that one out)

That’s a lot more manageable, right? Below the cut, I’ll let you know how to use all those remaining important things to make your story! Warning- it’s quite long! You might want to read it in sections! And while I’ll try to keep it entertaining, it’s also a coding tutorial, so... y’know. Might not be the most exciting read if you aren’t trying to learn Twine.

Welcome to below the cut!

First off, make sure your story format is set to Sugarcube 2. On the right side of the home screen (with all your stories), click format and choose the one labeled “Sugarcube 2.x.x” then open a new story with the green button! Here’s what you’ll see and what it all means:

Passages are all like individual web pages that you navigate between to play the game. When they’re linked together they’ll be shown like this:

Anything you write in a passage will just be shown on screen as plain text, no code required! But if you want to make anything more than just one passage with a bunch of text, you’ll have to link passages together with...

Links!

A link is composed of two parts- the text you see on screen, and the name of the passage you’re attaching it to. These are enclosed in [[double square brackets]], with a vertical bar | or a little arrow -> between them. If you want to show the passage name instead of alternative text, you can just put the passage name in square brackets alone! So this in the editor:

[[Visible text|Passage name]]

[[Visible text->Passage name]]

[[Passage name]]

Will look like this in the story:

Visible text

Visible text

Passage name

And all of them will lead to the passage labeled “Passage name.” You don’t even need to create the passage- when Twine sees that you’ve linked to a passage that doesn’t exist, it’ll add that passage for you.

That’s all you need to know! Technically, all you need to do to make a Twine story is add those fancy links between passages. If you add your awesome writing skills, that story will be super cool!

...but you want to do some fancy shit, right? Well let me introduce you to the next step up in complexity,

Variables!

“Variable” is a fun, code-y way to say “a bit of information that can change.” You could say they... vary.

Variables are useful for keeping track of information. If the player chooses to be blonde instead of a redhead, you might want to bring that up again- but you probably don’t want to write an entirely separate story based on that choice, right? So instead you save that information as a variable.

In Twine, variables are written as words with a $ in front of them. So my hair colour variable might be “$hairColour.” If you just write the variable out without any code, Twine will print the information you put into the variable. So if $hairColour is set to “blonde,” this...

She had $hairColour hair.

Will become...

She had blonde hair.

The value in a variable can be a boolean (ie. true or false), a number, or a string (like “blonde” or “any other string of characters”). They can also be fancy stuff like arrays, but we won’t be touching on that.

You can use variables to keep track of a lot of things! For instance...

How much money the player has

Whether a player has a key

What the player’s name is

I keep mentioning the value of a variable or “setting” it, but how do you do that? Well, one way is to add it to a link. If you want a link to set hair colour to blonde, for instance, you could write [[Blonde|Next passage][$hairColour to “blonde”]]. Clicking on that link would forward the player to “Next passage” and set the value of $hairColour to “blonde.”

There is a better way of doing it, however, but we’ll need to talk about...

Macros!

A macro is a snippet of code that runs when you put a special code word inside these <<spiky boys>>. You can write your own macros with JavaScript if you’re smart, find them on the internet if you’re even more smart, or just use the ones that come built in with Sugarcube.

The ones we’ll be talking about, and the ones that are the most important for most Twine games, are <<set>>, <<if>>, and <<link>>.

<<set>>

The <<set>> macro allows you to, you guessed it, assign a value to a variable. For instance, if you want to set $hairColour to blonde... well, that’s all you need to do! It’s just:

<<set $hairColour to “blonde”>>

It’s important to remember with the <<set>> macro that strings (collections of different characters) require quotation marks around them to show the code that it isn’t a number or a true/false value. If you put quotes around a number and try to do math with that variable, you’ll get a big ol’ error message.

If you’re using numbers, you can also use JavaScript operators in place of “to.” Each one will perform a calculation on the variable if that variable is a number, and then replace the variable with the result. If you want to add $5 to the player’s $money, you could use this:

<<set $money += 5>>

The “+=“ will add the number on the right to the variable on the left. “-=“ will do the same for subtraction, “*=“ for multiplication, and “/=“ for division. Easy enough, just don’t forget the = sign after the usual symbol!

By default, the <<set>> macro will be executed as soon as the page it’s on loads. Sometimes that’s useful, but sometimes you would rather the player click a link that sets a variable- like if they choose a hair colour. You might also want the same link to set multiple variables, like subtracting money and giving them an item when they use a shop. How do we do that?

<<link>>

The <<link>> macro is also pretty simple. All it does is create a link, and when that link it pressed it executes whatever is inside of it. Here we’ll be using it with <<set>>, but you can use it with all kinds of different macros and even nest some of them to do really complicated stuff!

As an example, we want the player to click “buy key,” give the player the key, and subtract $5 from their money. Here’s how we do it:

<<link “Buy key”>>

<<set $key to true>>

<<set $money -= 5>>

<</link>>

The text the player will click is in quotation marks, and after all of the macros we need to execute we have to close off the code by adding <</link>>. Easy, right?

But other than printing them on the screen, what can you actually use those variables for? Well, for that we’ll be using...

<<if>>

The <<if>> macro is my favourite, hands down, because it’s an easy way of accomplishing hard stuff. Simply put, <<if>> will check if the thing you asked about is true, and if it is, it will do whatever you put inside of it.

Here’s a simple example:

<<if $key is true>>

[[Use the key|Progress]]

<</if>>

Whatever is inside the <<if>> macro will be executed if the “if” statement is true. In this case, the link “Use the key” will be printed on the screen only if the player has the key. This also applies to code- if you put a <<set>> macro inside, that macro would only set a variable if the player has the key.

Now here’s a more complicated example, to show everything the <<if>> macro is capable of. Here we also want to check if they’ve already opened the door, and display alternate text if they have no key and the door is locked.

<<if $key is true>>

[[Use the key|Progress]]

<<elseif $doorOpen is true>>

[[Walk through|Progress]]

<<else>>

You need to find a key.

<</if>>

I’ll break it down line by line to tell you what each thing does.

<<if $key is true>>

This line is the only necessary one- it checks whether $key has been set to true. You can check for any value that a variable can be, like a number, true/false, or a string. You can also check for other things with this macro- for instance, “isnot” will check that the variable isn’t equal to the value on the right. “gt” or “lt” will check if the variable is greater/lesser than the value on the right, and “gte” or “lte” will check if it is greater than or equal to the value.

<<elseif $doorOpen is true>>

This line allows us to check for something else within the same <<if>> macro. Once the game has checked the original <<if>> and found that it is false, it will move on to checking each <<elseif>> until it finds one that is true. You can have as many <<elseif>>s as you need, and they can check the same variable or different variables, but only the first true one will be executed! And, of course, you can’t use <<elseif>> on its own- it’s stuck to the <<if>> macro!

<<else>>

This line is the last resort- if the original <<if>> and any <<elseif>>s have all been false, the game will execute whatever is after <<else>>. Because of this, there can only be one <<else>> line within any <<if>> macro! If you don’t have an <<else>>, nothing at all will be executed, so whether you include one depends on the situation.

<</if>>

This closes off the <<if>> macro. Nothing special, but very important! Put it after the last piece of code or bit of text you want the macro to control.

Phew. That’s it! That’s all I wanted to show you!

Now, HOMEWORK!

Okay, not homework, just practice. Here are some things you can try building to practice all these tools and get comfortable with how they work!

A store system with different items for different amounts of money

A character creation screen, followed by a description of your character (with variables!)

A puzzle that requires you to choose the right answer to proceed

If you have any trouble, need to ask any questions, or if something in this tutorial wasn’t clear to you, please let me know- you can DM me or send me an ask anytime and I’m happy to answer any Twine questions you have. I hope this was of use to you, and have fun making games <3

[howdoesagrapewrites]

All yours, Babooshka.

Tags: Yelena x fem!reader, soulmate!au, fluff with a bit of angts, historically completely incorrect, happy ending.

TW: depiction of war, brief mention of sex, homophobic slur a few times, suicide.

Synopsis: War is no place for loving, it never was, but maybe you could love her again in the 21 Century, i mean, only if you could stop feeling so overwhelmed by her only existence, but no matter what, you can't stop something that's meant to be.

Notes: one, i don't like the part 4, it just feels lazy to me, and two, i'm not a native, so please tell me if i made a mistake <3

Part one: When she was beautiful.

Yelena Armanovna, as strong as ten soldiers, the jewel of the battlefield, once was just a kid, her land was destroyed by the war, and as the only child of the house, she was forced to join the army, or else die there, she became a soldier, and she desired that the war wasn't real, that she hadn't being born into this world, that no one had. 

Everyone knew that she didn't talk a lot, most of their fellow soldiers didn't even knew where she came from, or if she was even from Russia, the only one she talked to was a nurse, her name was y/n y/ln, and like Yelena, no one knew about her origin, the nurse was way more talkative than Yelena, but she was assigned to other areas, staying with older soldiers, child soldiers, or severely injured soldiers, she was called by the child soldiers "angel", because of her comforting aura in hard times like those. 

These women wouldn't be able to meet eachother if it wasn't for the near-death experience Yelena faced one time. She got shot by a hidden enemy, fainted from the blood loss and was taken to the nursery right away, they couldn't afford to lose her. That's when you saw the look in her eyes, that look, and you knew that death was upon the jewel of the battlefield, and you knew that if she died, everyone else will die, you tried as hard as you could to stay cool during the surgery, but you were breaking, because of all the hope that was layed on her shoulders, she was the hope of everyone else in that place to return home someday, even if Russia didn't won the war, her strenght will keep a few alive. So there you were, assisting the surgery of the one that could do something to keep everybody safe and triying to act like it didn't meant a thing. At the end, she survived, and with her, the dreams of returning to your home, you were the one assigned to take care of her, and you were  going to make sure Yelena survived.

Part two: Uncanny how she remind her of her little lady. 

—"¿Yelena Armanovna?" You asked to the blonde girl laying on the bed. 

"Yes" she answered without taking her deep eyes out of the book. 

You told her that it was your bed she was in, pointing at your last name on the post-it next to the bed, then showing her the same mark on the bed across the room where it said: "J. Armanovna". 

"Ah, i hate when they misspeal it, it's Yelena with a "Y". Well, sorry, but this is the only bed i can sleep in, i'm kinda tall, you can use mine, i will give you a cookie for your kindness." She concluded with a little smile, you notices how her voice was way sweeter than you could think considering how menacing her looks were. 

At the end you decided to let her keep the bed, thinking it wouldn't mean anything, how wrong you were, now you could look at her sleeping without moving from the bed, and you did it, you thought it was so creepy and you wanted to stop, but you couldn't, why? Why were you obsessed with the sight of her closed eyes and dry lips at night? Why did she gave you this insane feeling of comfort and loss at the same time? It was so uncanny. 

No matter how weird It felt, you couldn't escape from Yelena, she was your roommate, and your classmate in some of your classes, on top of that, she was quite nice, a very smart lady with a pleasent personality, so you had no excuse to be mean or distant whenever she asked about your day, or started a small talk when the professor was late. Along with that sort-of friendship, you also knew Yelena's group; a beautiful girl with raven hair named Pieck, a blonde sarcastic man named Zeke, sometimes his brother Eren, and Hanji, a very excentric and funny person. These people were good friends to you, more than you expected, and that confirmed you: there was nothing wrong about Yelena, and you had no reason to be disturbed by her… Well, to be honest, there it was a little thing that made you upset, Pieck said that Yelena liked Zeke, again, you had no reason to be mad, but you were anyway. Why did you felt so attached to this lady? Why did you did what you did? 

It was 2:00 am, you couldn't sleep and you were so ashamed of being doing what that thing, what thing? Writing a love letter, a love letter to Yelena, with a pseudonym, with the first word that popped into your head: "Babooshka". You put perfume on the paper, and you signed it under that name, a scented letter, when you were finished, you let the envelope under your bed, and let it on Yelena's locker. 

Part three: How she was before the tears.

She woke up, feeling dazed and almost disappointed for being alive, when Yelena saw you, she recognized you for the stories of her colleagues, "Angel?" She guessed. 

"Hello", you smiled and giggle a bit for that nickname, "My name is y/n y/ln, and i will take care of you until you are better"

"If i'm with you means i'm already dead, you only take care of the ones that are almost there." Yelena asserted with a careless attitude. 

You wanted to protest, but it was meaningless, you wouldn't make her upset in her state, "May i ask how is your wound feeling? Are you in pain?" You kept that polite and sweet smile on your face. 

You kept taking care of Yelena, she healed way too soon, her body wanted to stay alive, but you couldn't say the same thing about her. You got to meet the real jewel of the battlefield, she told you her story, and you told her yours, you two knew everything about eachother, likes, dislikes, and sad pasts. You noticed how Yelena cried softly whenever she thought about her life before, her life before the tears, before the war, when she felt happy. And you also noticed that you could erase that tears, the touch between your soft hands and her ser face, was something magical, something that nobody could understand in that moment, but you two? You knew everything about it, about that love touch, those secret beautiful instants you shared. 

You were the one crying when Yelena got better, you were joyful for her recovery, but you knew that she had to go, and after that, you were going to lose her forever, or so you thought. "We can send eachother letters, and we can meet at night." She reassured you while you were laying on her chest, skin to skin, she kissed your forehead and caressed your cheeks with her strong and graceful hands, you purred at her cuddled your body in hers, you liked to kiss her scars, she had so many, it showed how determined she was on the battle and you liked that, the eyes and body of a soldier, and the heart of a suave lover, Yelena was always elegant, her movements could been rough and beastily, but she was soft and neat, whether i'll be fighting, talking, or embracing you. You could say with pride that only you knew this side of Yelena Armanovna, the subtle dominance she always established on her manner mixed with the chivalry and dulcet, that made the blonde woman truly enticing and amusing to anyone with enough luck to discover it.  

You knew that your letters to Yelena couldn't be too suspicious, so you took advantage of the fact that no one knew a thing about her, "Babooshka", was the pseudonym you choose, because everyone was going to think that it was from Yelena's grandmother. 

Your first letter to her, was this one: 

"My dearest Yelena, even though i promised that i wouldn't miss you too much, you have been away for three days and i'm already feeling the lack of your touch, and missing your dark eyes that make me shiver every time. I always thought that i would die without having loved, but you prove me wrong, i love you, i love every part of you, if i could picture perfection, it would be you, your laugh, your hair, the way you talk about home, everything about you would fit the word "perfect".

I swear to God and every star on the sky, that someday i will marry you, someday i will call you my wife, and you will be fully mine, and i will be fully yours. I know that you may think i'm silly because of this wish, but i know in my guts that i will become your wife, no matter how many years or Centuries i have to wait to do it.

All yours, Babooshka." 

When Yelena read the letter, she felt nothing but joy, she couldn't use words to describe how in love she was with everyone of your words, and giggled at the idea of marriage, of course she would marry you, she would marry you all the times that she could, she will make you hers every time, and she would submit herself to you every time. 

The two lovers kept sending and receiving love letters, and meeting at the comfort and hacen of the night, with only starts and the moon herself as a witness, sharing the intimacy of loving, not always touching two bodies, but the touch of two souls, two tormented souls who found love in a hopeless place.

It has been almost a year since the letters and secret meetings started to happen, Yelena and y/n couldn't be more in love, but tragedy was upon them. A soldier named Floch, started to notice the letters, and one day, he intercepted one, the love words were obviously not from Yelena's grandmother, and with fear of the jewel of the battlefield getting courted by a man who could get her pregnant and useless, this soldier tried to trace the letters, he spend days getting up triying to catch the mailman, and when he did it, he noticed that there wasn't an adress, so it must have been another soldier. After waiting for the guilty one to put the letter on the mail box, he saw y/n y/ln, the nurse, the angel, being a witness of how Satán corrupted the two women into a sapphic relationship, he ran into his superior's arms, showing him the evidence and warning him that given the nature of the letters, he may be grossed out by the devil's pervertion in the two women. 

The superior gave orders of keeping Armanovna here, and taking the nurse away, into a convertion field. 

Yelena was lucky to hear it, and she ran the fastest that she could into the critical patients nursery, where Y/N was. "Babooshka", she whispered at your ear while grabbing your arm yo take you away, you followed her into the woods. "What happened?" You asked with confution, you saw the look of pure fear un Yelena's eyes.

"They are going to tear us apart, they are are going to take you away, they will torture you there", she was ay the edge of crying, and so did you. 

"What can we do?" You couldn't think anything, you were all feelings

"Die, that's our only option, if we run away they will find anyway." The tall one tried to stay calm, failing

"You can't die, you mean hope for everyone!" Your conscience was heavy, you couldn't let Yelena die for you

"Y/n… You are the love of my life, if they take you away, i will kill myself anyway, i can't live without you, i can't just survive anymore, i need to live, when i'm with you i'm alive." Yelena wrapped you in a hug and you felt the tears falling on her face.

At the end, you agreed, Yelena already had a little bottle hidden in her uniform, you both took  sips until the bottle was empty, and you kissed and felt eachother like never before, because it was the last time, those were your last hours of life. You passed away after two hours, you were sleeping in Yelena's arms, while she was singing a lullaby from her hometown. 

She started with a cracked voice; "I know i do not have silver or gold like many others,

but i promise that i will wrap my bride in silk"  she stopped to cry a little.

"and i will love her with such depht,

that all my lacks she will forget, 

and she will love until the end… "

Yelena cried louder, and before falling asleep, and looked at your corpse with adoration.

I'm all yours, Babooshka. 

Part four: Babooshka

She woke up, ready for the exams, dressed with her usual suit, and put a lucky charm on her pocket. 

She was getting to class when she remembered, "my lucky pen is in my locker", so she went to get it, and saw a letter that fell sloppylly on her perfectly organized locker. She looked at the envelope and read "Babooshka", It clearly wasn't from her grandmother, one, because she would have written in "the tongue of mother Russia", two, because she was a bitter old woman that didn't write her, never, not even on her birthday, and three, because it was on her locker, not the mailbox. She opened it go find a love letter that has essence of a known perfume, she received the letter with a strange delight, smelling it and making a place on her locker for the piece of paper. 

These letters came one by one every week, and she knew they were from y/n, but Yelena couldn't help to love the letters, and she wanted to keep collecting more and more. 

She decided to shoot her shot after two months, when you two were studying together, she kissed your lips out of nowhere, leaving you completely confused and flustered.

"I- i thought you liked Zeke…" 

"Oh, i did" Yelena acted so shamelessly "But then you came."

"Do you say that a lot?" You asked annoying trying to shield from your notorious blush

"No, just you, Babooshka. I don't know why, but you make me fee… alive? I feel so close to you since i saw you." 

You didn't know what to do, you felt the same way, and you were way too nervous to think a witty reprise. 

"Why did you choose the pseudonym Babooshka?" Yelena have been wanting to ask you for a long time. 

"For real? I don't know, it just, familiar? I guess" 

"Ok, then" she smiled and pulled you closer

"I'm all yours, Babooshka."

[warlordgab]

LuNa analysis: Emotional and Intellectual chemistry

This is a special edition meant to help a friend explain this aspect of Luffy and Nami's relationship as potrayed in Oda's works (excludes the anime adaptation). It's no something truly new, it's more like a summary of multiple analyses made in this blog and other places.

The first time we mentioned this particular subject in this blog, the idea was to showcase the difference between "sexual tension" and the concept of chemistry.

Shallow fans sometimes used both terms interchangeably as if they were the same thing. Well, they're not.

Chemistry refers to the natural connection between two persons, a common feeling between two characters that leaves a impact strong enough to move their hearts and stimulate their minds. Needless to say, it's something complex, sometimes subtle, but very appealing.

It's not something tied to sexual attraction, and it's definitively not a mere infatuation. It's something much deeper than that...

However, some popular newcomers to the One Piece community mistake this concept with "dynamic." They may focus on character(s) they grow fond with, and then claim their dynamic is a sign of "chemistry" because of how much they like it.

The "character dynamics" would refer to the way characters work with or against each other within the story. While chemistry is about how the characters bond with each other throughout the story.

But then, how does LuNa showcase actual chemistry? By relying on more than one kind of chemistry.

We've seen it before, the development of a bond that grows naturally through mutual trust/faith, with the most importat trait being the capability of regulating the partner's emotions.

This kind of chemistry is marked by emotional support producing a remarkable attachment. In such a relationship, the distressed person feels comfortable enough to express their anxiety, grief, and helplessness to their partner because said partner is capable of providing with relief, comfort, and/or hope.

It's probably starting to sound familiar, right? LuNa fans would certainly think of Arlong Park and the pass of the hat, a gesture that provided Nami with the relief and hope she needed to stand up and keep going.

But, we have the moments from Skypiea too:

When she was overwhelmed by fear and doubts, Luffy does something similar, but this time is to remind Nami that she's the companion of the future Pirate King, and as such, she has nothing to fear. It was so effective that it led to a remarkable character moment from Nami, and her brief skirmish with Enel, in which she drew courage from her captain. That creates enough confidence for Nami to open her heart when there's something troubling her. Remember Water 7? After learning the truth about Robin's desertion, and shortly after missing the train Robin got in, Nami didn't seem distressed at all. In fact, she got up determined and unwilling to give up. But, how did she act when she got the chance to explain the truth to Luffy?

She and displayed the helplessness, frustration, and sadness she truly felt when she got to Luffy.

A smilar scene plays out when we get to Zou. Sanji was taken away, and while Nami seemed ok and even elated at the fact Luffy and the rest are back, is when she's in Luffy's arms that she once again expresses how helpless and anguished she feels...

This is how emotional chemistry looks like! It's not about meaningless flattery, flowery words, nor a mere infatuation. It's about growing attached to one another through a strong companionship, mutual trust/faith, offering support/comfort when needed.

Now, true chemistry occurs when characters affect each other in meaningful ways. And Nami also has an effect on Luffy. When Oda wrote the Strong World movie, we get to see how she affects her captain. When Nami got no other choice but leave a message in which she seemingly doubts Luffy's strength and capabilities, Luffy reacts this way...

This shows how much Luffy values the perception Nami has of him.

Another perceptive reader explained the difference between this situation and Ennies Lobby. During that massive rescue mission "Luffy is angry at Robin for not worrying about her own safety." In Strong World, the idea of Nami not believing in him is something Luffy takes personal. And as explained in multiple posts, we later learn Nami never stopped believing in Luffy, and the idea of Luffy hearing about it was pretty embarrassing to her.

Well, what about Intellectual Chemistry?

This is a tricky one, because most people think is having a similar level of intelligence. But, even in real life, it's pretty likely potential partners have different degrees of education, so they're not always going to perfectly click or match in this regard.

Then, how people can develop this kind of chemistry under such circumstances? One of concepts of intellectual chemistry is the capability of challenging each other's perspective and beliefs on subjects and matters relevant to both persons.

LuNa fits the second bit, for the greatest challenge each character's perspective has is the other's...

...Nami’s character from the very beginning had a very clear distate for pirates and had trouble trusting others. Her perspective served as not only a contrast to Luffy's idealism, but also as a challenge Luffy and his ideals had to actively overcome. This kind of chemistry covers other aspects that, even people who are not fond of LuNa, could see and mention. For example:

Unlike Zoro, Robin, and others crewmates who, more often than not, go along with Luffy's course of action without questioning their captain, Nami is usually the one who challenges Luffy's decisions. It makes sense given Nami's role, as she herself explained in Weatheria...

While Luffy is the one who chooses where to go, Nami is the only one can get him where he wants to go. She seeks to provide Luffy with the  guidance he needs to survive his journey. She’s the compass leading Luffy towards his adventures.

Now, Intellectual Chemistry not only consists of challenging each other’s perspectives, it’s also about openly discussing each other’s ideas with the right mindset, not because you’re trying to win an argument, but as a mean to learn more about your partner, and as a result, you get to better understand that significant person and both parts work together as a team.

In this regard, it's true Nami is one who questions Luffy the most, but  she doesn't actively try to change his mind, instead she attempts to get Luffy to rationalize his choices.  And once Luffy voices out his reasons and/or motivations for doing something, she offers her assitance and full support. We see one example in Skypiea:

At first, she questions why Luffy is making such a great effort to climb the beanstalk and fight Enel a second time, Nami even urges him to stop and flee with her. She keeps pushing until Luffy clearly states why he's not running away.

Nami could easily run away on her own, but as soon as she understands Luffy’s reasons, she stays, and they’re able to work together to ride the beanstalk so Luffy can finally defeat Enel.

This is not one-sided either. If we go to the Dressrosa arc, we got Nami communicating Luffy her plan of splitting into two teams to keep Ceasar and Momonosuke away from Doflamingo. 

And Luffy not only fully supports her idea, he even follows it up with a mission for the team that stayed at Dressrosa.

Another possible example could be one particular scene from the Zou arc. Luffy’s original intent was going to rescue Sanji on his own...

...until Nami reminds him how much he needs her and her navigation skills to keep going. Luffy accepts the reasons she gave him, and alters his original plan accordingly.

We can find other moments to showcase this aspect of their relationship, but to make things short, we can sum it up like this: when their different perspectives clash, they challenge each other’s ideas to the point of gaining a better understanding of each other, and end up acting according to that understanding, they display Intellectual chemistry.

Bonus: Physical Chemistry?

I wasn't going to include this one, but given a japanese fan brought it up ages ago, I decided to leave a couple of scenes that may fit the concept.

That japanese fan based his comment on Strong World, the movie written by Oda. To make it short, physical chemistry doesn't necessarily means "sex" either, it really comes down to how comfortable a person feels with their partner. However, the details and quirks in this particular kind of chemistry vary from people to people. Just like it can vary from writer to writer.

We often mentioned in this blog certain moment in Fishman Island, where Nami had no problem with Luffy wrapping himself around her...

...she indeed bickered with Luffy, but it was about Luffy's wanting to venture through a dangerous route rather than their physical closeness. A nice way to show how comfortable she feels around him. In contrast, she doesn't pull any punches, or thunders, when punishing people for pervying around her. Something that remains consitent even in the Wano arc (at least in the original source: the manga) Regardless of whether or not these count as “physical chemistry,” we can still appreciate how Oda crafted a solid emotional chemistry, and intellectual chemistry as well, in the way he wrote Luffy and Nami.

[oumaheroes]

Earthbound: Ludwig’s Story

Characters: Germany, Prussia

Context:

Hundreds of years after the fall of Earth, mankind is slowly starting to return. Some people have a stronger urge to return than others, confused by fragments of memories from a life already lived.

Arthur’s story can be found here. 

Matthew’s story can be found here.

Gabriel’s story can be found here.

---------------------------------------------

Ludwig is six, and is sick again. The doctors don't know what's wrong with him; they know what's causing it at least but they have no idea why. He can't keep food down and every time he tries to stand the world pitches and swims and he can't keep his balance so he never manages to stay up for long before he bonelessly falls to the floor, where he feels no better.

It's the gravity, the doctors say, for some reason he's affected by the gravity. The artificial gravity that he's known all his life; it's as if he's just climbed aboard and his body suffers from relapses where it just can't acclimatise. Where it suddenly realises that something's not quite right and rebels against him for a week or so. This his family already knows, but his mother isn't satisfied with such a lacklustre answer so she takes him to a different doctor every time he suffers another attack just in case one of them is even marginally more competent than the last. These 'episodes', as his mother likes to call them, don't happen all that often, but he seems to have one every ten months or so and they are regular enough to annoy his mother to no end. Ludwig doesn't really know if she's annoyed that no one can fix him or with him himself, Gilbert won't say and normally his big brother talks to pretend that he knows something so his silence worries Ludwig the most.

Mother is a very important person with a very important job: she's a governor of the space station upon which they live and it is very important that Ludwig remembers this. So, when he's laying in bed clutching at his belly and desperately clenching his eyes shut to minimise the swaying, his friends at school think that he is away for a special training academy. Because can you just imagine, the governor of a space station's son being space sick?

His father doesn't like to call it that because he thinks it's degrading so his mother doesn't, when she thinks Ludwig can't hear, anyway, but Ludwig knows that's what the kids at school would say so he happily keeps mum because it's easier than lying. They don't talk to him much besides, they find him too cold and distant but that's because he's so scared of disgracing his mother further that he can't quite relax fully.

When Ludwig is thirteen his mother, after exhausting all doctors aboard their large floating colony, finally accepts that it's unlikely that this small problem of his is going to go away. Her way of dealing with it is to pretend that it just doesn't happen; during an attack Ludwig is sent to his room where he stays painfully alone with only his books for company whilst she busies herself with her new campaigns. She's running for director now, aiming as high as she can go and there's no room for weak, feeble Ludwig all the way up there.

His brother tries his best to keep him entertained and happy during these times, but Gilbert is healthy, strong, smart; he's everything that Ludwig should also be able to grow up to be and their parents have sent him off to expensive schools which means that he's more often away from home than not. Sometimes Ludwig wonders if they've sent him away because they want Gilbert to be the all around best he can be, or if it's to distance him as much as they can from Ludwig. It's almost as if they're worried that Ludwig will taint him, or that maybe Gilbert will grow too attached to him and distract himself from what's really important. That Ludwig will anchor him down.

At five years older it's highly unlikely that Ludwig will be the one doing the influencing, but his brother, despite hardly seeing each other and such a large age difference, does seem to genuinely care for him. During one particular attack, when Ludwig is eighteen, Gilbert is home from university; it is almost Christmas and his family are preparing to travel to where his grandparents live on the other side of the space station, where they'll spend the holiday. Of course, it is now that his body decides to betray him.

He, his parents, and his brother are gathered around the large dining room table finishing off dinner. It is tense. Mostly it is Gilbert who talks because despite their mother's cool demeanour and their father's lack of interest he seems to always have something to say to fill the silence and speaks easily. Even with the response he gets, or lack of it, he seems honestly unperturbed and remains cheerful, somehow managing to both eat and speak without seeming impolite. As much as he loves his brother, Ludwig is also supremely jealous.

He stares at his fork, contemplating which point in the evening would be best to ask if he could slip away, when his body decides for him. His stomach swoops, his ears pop and the table tilts alarmingly. He clenches the edge in panic to remain upright and the noise alerts his mother, who looks up from her dessert in irritation.

'Ludwig, we are going away tomorrow.'

'M- mother-'

His mother sighs and looks at his father, who sharply stares back. 'Dear?'

His father grunts and spears another forkful of fruit pie. 'They're expecting him to come.'

'But the photographers-'

'What do you want me to do, Hilda?'

Meanwhile, Ludwig has still not been dismissed and cannot now seem to find the words to ask for permission himself without spewing all over the fancy silverware. He doubts that that will make the situation better, somehow. Gilbert notices and stands, attracting his parents' attention.

'I'll take Luddy to his room.'

'Darling...' their mother tries to say something, but it's what she's trying not to say that comes across the loudest.

Gilbert ignores her and walks around the table, slowly helping Ludwig to his feet, then away from the table and swiftly towards a bathroom. They make it just in time. Gilbert pats him comfortingly on the back and rubs soothing circles into his shoulders until he's finished, then hands him a glass of water.

'So, they're still arseholes, huh?'

Ludwig snaps his head up in horror, but this is a bad idea because the image of Gilbert swims before him and he has to shut his eyes.

'Don't call them that.' He finally manages, weakly.

Gilbert tuts. 'What the fuck did they feed you with in order to churn your personality out.'

Ludwig lays his head on the cool tiles of the floor and groans inwardly at how nice the feeling is. 'They're not arseholes.'

'Yeah, and my name's Shirley.'

Ludwig cracks open an eye, but Gilbert's not joking. He is, for once, deadly serious. 'How'd you put up with them Lud?'

Ludwig shrugs and gives a small shake of his head. 'They're our parents, Gil. They still care for me. Besides, I'm not exactly making it easy for them.'

Gilbert looks disgusted. 'You're their fucking son, arsehole. They're supposed to take care of you. They ain't even doing that right are they?' Gilbert runs a hand through his shock of white hair and bits his bottom lip whilst he shakes his head. 'Look at how they treat you versus me.'

'Yes, but I'm not exactly-'

'But nothing!' Gilbert raises his voice slightly and swallows. When he speaks again, he's much quieter, back under control. 'Have they got you in a university programme yet?'

Ludwig's silence is answer enough and Gilbert sighs deeply before brushing back Ludwig's sweaty fringe. 'There's nothing wrong with you Lud.' His brother sounds so very sad. 'Fuck, there's nothing wrong with you at all. They know full well that if they put you on a planet rather than this floating heap of rust that you'll probably be alright. And have they? Have they fuck.'

Ludwig wants to argue against him, wants to say something to stand up for himself if not for their parents but his eyes are suddenly burning and his throat is choked up. He knew a long time ago that his parents had given up on him, but to hear it from someone else hurts more sharply than anything he tells himself.

There's an odd companionable silence for a while; Ludwig lays still with his face against the floor and his brother's hand carding through his hair so he almost misses what Gilbert says next.

'I was gonna wait till Boxing Day, but I've got us tickets for Earth.'

Ludwig tenses and holds his breath. Gilbert continues. 'I was gonna wake you up on the 26th and take you away with me, but I want to tell you now instead, cause you look like shit. We're gonna get out of here Luddy; I've always wanted to take you to a planet and what better one is there than the original, huh?'

'You, I- you can't- what about your studies? The internship you've got?' Ludwig manages to stammer out, opening his eyes.

Gilbert brushes his concerns aside. 'I never liked medicine, really. I've always wanted to go to a planet, so I'm mega up for it.'

Ludwig knows he should say no, knows that he shouldn't take up the offer. He'd be denying his brother so much, he'd be exactly what their parents worried he'd be because he'll only drag Gilbert down and down and down like a heavy lead weight and ruin all of his chances at a good life.

But Ludwig wants to be selfish. He reaches out and clasps onto Gilbert's hand, squeezing it tightly. 'Gil...'

Gilbert flashes him a grin and winks. 'I know, right? How awesome am I?'

---------------------------

AN:

I’ve been a very busy bee recently and haven’t been able to write anything, so in lieu of something new, have something old.

This is from my fic Earthbound, which I’m embarassingly fond of. It’s made up of several different stories and Ludwig and Gilbert’s is the one that I’m the most happy with after all these years.

Hope you enjoyed!

[txtdiaries]

Void - Chapter Three

SUMMARY | Amidst your world shattering to pieces, the boy you met long ago manages to fit everything back together again. Also - zombies. Lots and lots of zombies.

PAIRING | Yeonjun X Reader feat. TXT

CATEGORY | apocalypse au, end of the world, survival, angst, romance, enemies to lovers, slow burn, etc.

WORD COUNT | 3.3k

WARNINGS | dark content, swearing, gore, weapon possession, etc.

A/N | So this hasn’t been proofread, but I hope there aren’t too many mistakes and u guys enjoy it anyway. Thanku for reading! <3 

SONG REC | Wires - The Neighbourhood

Preview / Chapter One / Chapter Two / Chapter Three

The sun is dipping behind the horizon, colors melting against sky as the car rolls along the freeway. The majority of the younger boys are asleep in the car, it is silent, and Yeonjun is stressed out.

Of course, who wouldn’t be? He almost lost his life to something that looked like it walked straight off the set of The Walking Dead. And Yeonjun has never forgotten his weapon - ever. It’s in that moment that he knows.

He has to get rid of the girl sitting in the passenger seat. Soon.

The silence is uncomfortable as he drives. Neither is speaking, and even though he isn’t looking at her, he knows she isn’t asleep.

After a few minutes of the silence ticking along with the minutes, Yeonjun feels like he is going to burst. And then, finally, she speaks.

“Listen… uh- Yanjun-”

“My name is Yeonjun.” The older boy sneers, accent thickening as he enunciates his Korean name, still annoyed. He realizes just how annoyed he always is with her.

“Right, sorry! Yeonjun.” He stays quiet, letting her go on.

“I’m really sorry for what happened back there. I may have overreacted a little bit.”

Yeonjun scoffs as she continues, “And I just want to thank you for saving my life. I really appreciate it.”

The girl sticks her hand out as if he’s not driving, and after he gives it a side glance, she retracks it.

“Maybe we can be friends, you know, work together?”

Yeonjun almost swerves off the freeway at 90 MPH.

“Here’s how this is gonna work...” He searches her eyes for a second, noticing how she sits up straighter. She replies quickly with a, “Y/N.”

“Okay, Y/N, this isn’t some fucked up stockholm syndrome situation. I didn’t tie you up and throw you in the back of my Jeep because I thought you were too precious to save, and I definitely didn’t do it because I wanted you with us. I did it because it was the only option, got it?”

The girl blinks at him.

“It was the only option, and at this point you’re just deadweight to us now, okay? We aren’t going to work together, and we sure as hell aren’t going to be friends.”

It’s silent for a lot longer this time, before Yeonjun hears the girl reply back in a whisper, “If I’m just deadweight to you, why did you save me?”

“Jun, where are we?” Soobin grumbles suddenly from the backseat, stirring a bit as he starts to wake up.

“Just about there, Soobin. Go back to sleep.” Yeonjun replies as he pulls off of I-86 and into what seems like the local college town of the area. He decides to ignore the girl’s question as he turns on the radio. Of course, it’s just the low sound of static, but it’s better than listening to her questions again.

The farther Yeonjun drives into the town, the more he starts to notice the tattered college flags hanging from the unlit street lamps, and all of the broken windows in every building they pass. As he drives with caution, Yeonjun can tell how eerily quiet it is, apart from the radio. He spots the girl looking out the window, and decides to do the same, allowing himself to survey their surroundings.

A few home style diners and restaurants dot the blocks they pass, along with small gas stations (probably empty), and a few fast food places as well. The road guides him to a gentle curve, and then he realizes that he’s going in the direction of an underpass. For some insane reason he doesn’t completely understand, the lights along the inside leading to the other side are on, and they guide him to something that is shocking for him to see. The underpass opens back up at the end in a way Yeonjun can only feel like exiting a time machine would be. The tunnel cuts off, barren and with the walking path fences on either side rusted and destroyed.

But that’s not the part Yeonjun is paying attention to.

The buildings are breathtaking. They are old stone, brick, and clearly had been worked on to keep their vintage roots. One of the buildings on the right has huge archway windows on the second floor, which the moon reflects off beautifully. The street lamps are winded with decorative mistletoe, but the ribbons attached are tattered and almost black. Yeonjun sees what used to be bars, restaurants, all different colors. Green, red, and a pretty maroon color. He’s almost sad to see all of this - to get a glimpse of the real world back in front of him.

The farther he drives, the worse it gets. The town is beautiful, and he can only imagine how beautiful it used to be in the world before.

“This is old town.” The girl says softly from the passenger seat as Yeonjun approaches a huge park, even more trees on display and decorative lamps. He almost thinks he sees a fountain before he looks back at the girl.

“What did you say?”

“Old town. Like, downtown. The original one for the city.”

“How…” Yeonjun is surprised the girl knows as his curiosity intensifies.

“I uh… I used to live here. I went to college here.” She clarifies, avoiding his gaze now.

The older boy is even more surprised than he was before. She looked old enough to be in college, but he didn’t even consider it. Someone else having a life before all of this, much like he did. He never considered it until now.

“Up ahead it’ll take you to the fairly decent houses, lots of cops and bankers used to live on this side of town, but the houses will be trashed most likely. The long road past that will take you up the mountain to the super rich houses on top. Those might have some food and supplies, but it’s more dangerous. The high school is to the right, but the college is back around the way we came. Up to you.” She nods, not speaking anymore. Yeonjun is surprised she’s even helping him, but he hadn’t thought that far ahead.

“Thank you.” He says awkwardly, turning back around the way they came. He figures the college is their best bet. More buildings to search for safety in, and all relatively close to the gas stations.

She says nothing as he makes his way back toward the college.

The drive to the campus is somehow more tense than before, and Yeonjun is grateful when they finally pull into the main parking lot, in front of a building labeled, Museum of Natural History.

“The SUB is up ahead.” The girl speaks flatly, and Yeonjun gives her a confused look.

“Student Union Building. They have an event center inside, super spacious, just incase.” She clarifies, looking at him again.

“Sorry, I just never went to college before this all happened…” He explains, finally parking the Jeep.

The parking lot extends to a walkway that goes under the second floor of the SUB, and Yeonjun finds himself parking there to keep the car hidden. It’s almost like the whole slab of the SUB’s second floor is covering the walkway for a few yards, and then connects to the neighboring Museum’s second floor too. Past the end of it all, he sees a grand cement staircase leading up to the side door of the building. It’s perfect.

He pushes the gearstick into park and finally cuts the engine, sitting silent for a few moments.

The smaller girl is still gazing out the windshield, eyes scanning along the huge quad slowly.

“Is it weird to be back here?” Yeonjun doesn’t know why he asks, but he can clearly see the girl is visibly upset as she has her hands bundled in fists.

Without answering, she unlatches her seatbelt, swings open the door, and steps into the cold. After her feet hit the ground and she slams the door closed, the rest of the boys in the back groggily come to.

“We’re here.” Yeonjun sighs, turning on the upper light and pocketing the keys, “Grab your stuff, we’re setting up camp for the night.”

And then he’s getting out of the car himself, slamming his door and heading for the trunk.

“Hyung look, there’s a giant tiger statue back there!” Kai says with excitement, motioning back through the door they just came in through.

“It’s a Bengal.” Y/N corrects the youngest boy before leading the group farther in the empty building. The inside is pitch black, but the moonlight allows Yeonjun to see their surroundings, just barely.

To their right there is a huge staircase leading to the lowest level of the building, and a long hallway filled with multiple tables and chairs, like a huge eating area. Next to the help desk in front of them, small restaurants are grouped side by side as the window parallel shines even more light on all of the walls. The girl drags them to the left, taking them toward the offices and hallway that lie ahead.

“Fuck.” She says when she finally sees the door. It is bolted shut, with wooden planks and furniture piled against it. There is no way they’re getting in.

“Plan B?” Yeonjun asks annoyingly, making the girl brush past him, feet stomping along the way.

“Shut the fuck up, will you?” She snaps as she drags them back past all the small food places, leading them toward a staircase near the side of the building. Yeonjun can’t help but make another snarky comment at her. Soobin laughs under his breath. The youngest boys look shocked.

“Doesn’t this place have elevators?”

She glares at him when he speaks again, and juts her chin to the elevator along the right wall as they walk into the stairwell, saying nothing as she climbs up the stairs.

The boys all follow her, saying nothing at their interaction.

“Hey, Y/N, do you know where we’re going now?” Soobin speaks up, his voice timid as he catches up to the angry girl.

“Yep. Clearly the elevators don’t work but the top floor is our safest bet. There are tons of big rooms where we’ll be safe in. Unless you guys wanna spend the night in the bowling alley or the movie theater.” She throws in the last options offhandedly, knowing both will just be annoying to settle down for the night.

The two youngests perk up at this though, all voicing their excitement.

“There’s really a bowling alley and a movie theater here? This place was so awesome.”

“It is awesome.” Y/N clarifies, swallowing thickly before she leads the rest of the boys up the remainder of the flights.

Once on the top floor, Yeonjun knows why the girl chose it for their spot. There are dozens of lined rooms down the hall on either of them, and huge windows that show the entire campus and more, the land extending for miles upon miles. He can even see the mountain just off campus, trees swaying in the wind.

“Here you go.” She says, finally shrugging off the backpack she was actually able to retrieve from the trunk, “Home sweet hallway.”

The largest room is to their right, which gives them a view of both doors on either side of the hallway. Yeonjun nods a bit before appointing the group to set up their own sleeping bags and spaces.

The three youngest always stick together, all chatting about whatever is on their mind as they set up their sleeping bags, and Yeonjun notices that Soobin is back to chatting with Y/N easily, saying something he can’t pick up as he starts laying out his sleeping bag as well.

It’s like that for a few minutes, all of the boys laying out their sleeping bags, whipping their blankets in the air to get it into shape before laying it on the thin material of their makeshift bed. Yeonjun honestly cannot wait to sleep. He’s so tired, he doesn’t even think much about the fact that they can’t eat dinner. He hopes they will be able to find some food tomorrow.

“Hey Jun?” Soobin asks, catching the attention of the older boy as he looks up toward him.

“Where is Y/N going to sleep?”

All eyes settle on the girl sitting criss-cross on the floor, shivering lightly with her coat draped over her shoulders. Soobin frowns at Yeonjun before motioning toward her obviously, and the older boy just sighs.

“It’s not my problem Soob-”

“She can sleep in my sleeping bag if she wants.” The younger boy offers, already looking back toward the girl again. Yeonjun feels his heart leap up into his throat. He has to try hard to not eagerly deny the fact that she very much cannot sleep with Soobin.

It’s not that Soobin is a bad guy - quite the opposite actually. And the last thing Yeonjun needs is to hear the girl giggling from Soobin’s goofy antics all night long. No, he will not have that.

“She’ll sleep with me.” Yeonjun says firmly, nodding before he kicks off his shoes and places them next to his flimsy little blanket layers on the ground.

“Not happening.” Y/N finally speaks up, glaring at Yeonjun, “I’d rather get mauled by a zombie.”

“Be my guest then, that is, if you don’t freeze first.”

Yeonjun grins sarcastically at the shivering girl, and even though she is wearing multiple layers, he knows she’lll still be freezing if she doesn’t contain enough heat to get her through the night.

“Jun.” Soobin tries to interject, but the blue-haired boy just glares at him.

“Not a debate, Soobin. Go to sleep.”

The tallest boy looks sadly at the girl, before turning on his back away from her. The rest of the boys do the same, leaving her shivering in silence.

Yeonjun doesn’t know what time it is when he feels movement from his side. His eyes snap open in fear quick enough, though, and he almost reaches for his bat next to him before a soft voice breaks through the darkness.

“Jesus, relax. It’s just me.”

The girl’s teeth are chattering as she crawls under the layers of blankets Yeonjun has above his body, and he doesn’t say anything as the side of her body is suddenly flush against his.

“Thought you’d rather be mauled to death.” He rasps, still half asleep as he nuzzles further into the blanket.

“Shut up, will you?” The girl responds, voice still low so she doesn’t wake the others.

It is quiet for a while, both of them just breathing together. Yeonjun doesn’t know if it’s awkward, but he’s too tired to care. After driving for so long, it starts to take its toll.

“Yeonjun?” The girl says softly, causing the older boy to glance over at her. She sighs before speaking again, “Who were you before all of this?”

The boy blinks at her, mind reeling before he stares up at the tiled ceiling again.

Does he want to do this? Does he really want to open up to the girl who he can’t help but fight with every single second?

He doesn’t have much of a choice as he opens his mouth, and his exhausted body starts speaking honestly.

“I lived in Korea.” He explains, but he doesn’t know why she cares enough to ask. He doesn’t know why he cares enough to explain. He wouldn’t have asked about her, but it’s clear she had other intentions.

“I worked for a company called Big Hit. It’s like a company that trains and creates Idols. Kind of like celebrity performers.”

The girl listens intently to his words, not speaking as he goes on.

“This was our first debut, coming to America. I always dreamed about coming back. I studied in California for a few years when I was younger, but it was always my dream to come back. You know you’ve made it when you make it in America.”

Yeonjun shifts to his side to get more comfortable, and suddenly realizes how close they actually are. He can feel the girl’s breath across his cheeks, and he has to keep himself from pulling away with anxiety.

“I- um… the rest of the boys were in a group with me. We were all idols. But when the virus hit, we got stranded here. Our managers died in a car accident, and we were lucky to make it out alive. We all just want to go back home.”

He doesn’t know why, but somehow he can’t stop. Maybe it’s the way she’s looking at him, listening, or because he hasn’t talked to anyone like this in a long time.

“I loved dancing. I trained as an Idol for years, but it was all worth it because I loved it. Before all of this, I studied really hard, and I enjoyed hip hop the most. It was my favorite to dance to. Just being able to move my body freely to the music, I loved every second of it.”

Yeonjun stops now, not really knowing what else to say. He feels embarrassed, a bit flustered, and he tries to take the attention off of him as he asks, “Who were you before all of this, Y/N?”

The girl is still, eyes glossed over as she bites her lip a bit. Yeonjun can see it’s hard for her to talk about it, but she still does. She still opens up to him, because he did to her.

“I was… I was a student. I worked my ass off at community college to come here, and I got scholarships and grants just to be able to live here on my own. I had a rough time in high school, but college was supposed to change everything for me. I was living alone, trying to make friends, and just attempting to start my life. I came from a small town, where people get trapped like poison. No one comes out of my hometown unless they’re willing to risk everything for it.”

Yeonjun can feel his heart beating steadily against his ribcage as the girl speaks, and he can’t help but feel understood by her. He takes a deep breath to stomp the feeling down.

“I remember I was so excited to finally start. I was studying marketing and creative writing. I loved writing so much, I was so excited to be able to do what I loved. It may not seem like much, this town, but it’s all I had. It was the only chance I had at becoming someone else - someone better.”

She looks over at Yeonjun suddenly, and is surprised when he nods for her to continue.

“I grew up in this state my whole life, and my only goal was to leave. All I ever wanted was to leave.”

The smaller girl can’t help but get choked up, taking a few deep breaths to calm herself down. Yeonjun easily slides the blanket farther over her shoulder, hoping the softness will comfort her a bit.

It takes a bit for her to finish, but once she does, Yeonjun knows she is exhausted.

“So that was it. I made it here, and then the virus stole it all from me. My education, my family. All the hope I had. Just… gone.” She says, eyes now closed as she lies next to him. He doesn’t know what to say, and he truly doesn’t think anything he can say will make her feel any better.

“You should rest.” He whispers to her, hand moving up before he realizes what he’s doing.

Before Yeonjun knows it, he’s wrapping his arm halfway across the girl, holding across her chest in a hug, his hand holding onto her right shoulder gently.

He slightly expects her to swear at him. He also expects her to punch him in the face.

She does neither.

Instead, her breathing evens out, and she falls asleep like that. With her body finally warm next to Yeonjun’s, and a single tear slipping down the side of her cheek.

Yeonjun allows himself to fall into a deep slumber soon after.

After all, tomorrow, they have to get a move on.

[mostgeckcellent]

my submission for the @drinkwithme-exchange for @fuckyeahlesmiserables

I originally wrote something completely different, and I didn't like it at all, but you mentioned you liked my Old Guard series, so I wrote a new installment of that for you instead!

Platonic Ships: Eponine & Musichetta, Eponine & Grantaire

Eponine swirled her glass. Cosette was still with Enjolras - she’d dragged their newly-returned-from-the-dead friend off pretty quick, but Eponine was still processing. Did she believe him? She wasn’t sure. He’d convinced Bahorel, though, and Baz had never been the type to believe just anything without questioning it, especially something as batshit crazy as all of this.

Immortals. What next?

She drained what remained of her whiskey and coke, and stood. She needed to go for a walk.

Eponine was three blocks away from Jehan’s little house when Musichetta caught up to her.

“Hey.” Musichetta put a hand on Eponine’s shoulder. “You okay?”

Eponine stopped walking, lit a cigarette. “Yeah. Sure.”

“You know it’s okay if you’re not,” Musichetta said, never one to just back down.

“Yeah,” Eponine repeated with a sigh. “You want one?”

“Sure.” Musichetta took the offered cigarette; Eponine lit it for her.

They stood in silence for a while. Eponine liked that about Musichetta, that they could just be. That she didn’t have to talk, or fill the space.

“It’s fucked up, right?” Eponine said eventually.

“Yeah.” Musichetta didn’t have to ask what. Enjolras’ return was a miracle unlooked for, of course, but it was bittersweet, too. They’d mourned him. Not moved on, never moved on - it felt impossible, when there were no answers - but he’d left them.

Eponine understood. She did, probably better than any of the rest of them. She of all people knew about needing to run away and not look back, knew about new lives and new beginnings and the colliding of worlds.

It still hurt, to have been left behind.

“It’s good to have answers,” Musichetta said eventually, when their cigarettes were burned nearly to stubs. “Fucking weird answers, mind you-”

Eponine laughed, sharp. “Fucking weird answers,” she agreed.

“-But it’s good to have them,” Musichetta finished.

“Yeah,” Eponine agreed. “I’m glad he’s alive. And hey, if he really is immortal, I can shank him for doing that to us,” she grinned, all teeth and no joy.

Musichetta nudged her in the side. “You’re not gonna stab Enjolras,” she shook her head.

“I might,” Eponine protested.

“You’re not going to stab Enjolras,” Musichetta repeated sternly. “I know you’re mad. We all are, a little. It’s a lot. But-”

“But what? But he had to?” She knew that. “It wasn’t safe?” She knew that too. She dropped her cigarette, put it out with her heel. Could hear Enjolras’ voice in the back of her head, chiding her for littering, for letting the chemicals inevitably leach into the water somewhere. She ignored it.

“Yes,” Musichetta said, as if it were that simple. “And he came back in the end.”

“Because he got caught,” Eponine snarled. “Not because-”

“He cares about us. He cares about you,” Musichetta said softly.

“Does he?”

“You know he does.”

Eponine sighed, looked away. “I’ll forgive him eventually,” she muttered. “I’m just - I’m not ready yet.”

“Okay,” Musichetta agreed with a soft smile. “Can I hug you?”

Eponine rolled her eyes a little, but she opened her arms, and really, she’d never admit it out loud, but Musichetta’s hugs had a way of making her feel like everything really might be alright, someday.

--

Enjolras would stay for three days. That’s what he said when he got off the phone with his friends. Three days. His friends would make the drive today, his new family.

Eponine didn’t resent him for it. Or - she did, a little. He’d ran off with his new friends to a new place and left them all to pick up the pieces, and now his new friends were coming here. But it was fine, and Eponine didn’t resent him.

Maybe if she repeated it enough she’d convince herself.

She knew she wasn’t being fair to him. She knew she was wasting time - if they only had three days, she ought to be making the most of it, not sulking in the bathroom.

“You’re going to regret avoiding him the whole time when he has to leave again,” came Musichetta’s voice from the other side of the door, because Musichetta was a fucking mind reader.

“Maybe so,” Eponine called back, but she unlocked the door and opened it.

“Apparently they’ll be here in around an hour,” Musichetta reported. “They started the drive this morning.”

“Great,” Eponine muttered.

“Ep.” Musichetta frowned. Apparently, sympathy hours had run out. “Come on. They’re important to him.”

“We used to be important to him,” Eponine scowled.

“Okay, that’s enough.” Musichetta stepped into the bathroom with Eponine, shutting the door behind her. “I love you, you know I do, but he still loves us. And you’re going to feel like shit when he’s gone, and you’ve just been resentful at him the whole time. Did he do a shitty thing? Yes. Do you have a right to be upset by it all? Absolutely. But you’re going to kick yourself for wasting the time you’ve been given.”

Eponine glared at Musichetta for a long moment, but Musichetta was used to her moods, and didn’t back down an inch.

Eponine deflated, sighed, and ran her fingers through her hair. “So, we’ve moved on from pity to ass-kicking, huh?”

“You know the drill, baby,” Musichetta grins at her. “One day for wallowing, and then we get the fuck back up again.”

“Ugh. I fucking hate you.”

“No you don’t.” Musichetta clapped Eponine on the back. “C’mon. Let’s go do this thing.”

--

Enjolras’ friends were.. Well. They were an odd bunch, which meant, in the end, that they fit right in. Marius was looking up at Courfeyrac with the widest puppy eyes, enraptured by the tales he wove. Marius wasn’t the only one - even Eponine had to admit the man had charisma. He’d won over most of the group within moments of arriving, cheerful and kind as he was. Combeferre was a quiet, steady presence beside him, the pair of them orbiting each other in a way that was as enthralling as it was sickeningly sweet. Joly had managed to tear Combeferre away for a separate conversation at some point; Eponine wasn’t listening, had stopped listening when they had started discussing the more gruesome points in medical history. And then there was Feuilly - she was gorgeous, and better yet, she swore like a sailor and beat Bahorel at arm wrestling three times in a row. Enjolras’ new friends had been folded neatly into the Amis, like it was easy, like they fit.

Well, most of them. One man kept to the corner, nursing a drink and watching Enjolras, always watching Enjolras.

“Grantaire, right?” Eponine leaned against the wall beside him.

He looked over at her, startled. “Yeah. That’s me.”

“A bit old for him, aren’t you?” she asked, because she wasn’t stupid, she knew what it meant that Grantaire stared like that, that Enjolras only blushed when stumbling over his introduction of Grantaire, and not the others.

Grantaire snorted. “You have no idea,” he admitted. “But he knows what he wants, and I’ve learned not to get in the way of his decisions.”

“Hm.” Eponine sized Grantaire up. Honestly, she’d assumed Enjolras was some sort of monk, before he’d disappeared. He’d never dated, never so much as looked.

He definitely looked at Grantaire, though. In fact, he was looking now, looking away from his conversation with Courfeyrac, Combeferre, Marius and Cosette to stare at Grantaire, and it wasn’t a look Eponine had ever seen him direct at anyone before.

“You’re not what I’d have expected for him,” she said.

“Tell me about it.” Grantaire didn’t seem to care to argue the point.

Eponine narrowed her eyes at him.

He glanced at her, and shrugged. “I love him,” he said after a moment. “When I was ready to give up on the world, there he was, all..” He waved a hand in Enjolras’ direction. “Well, you know him. You know what he’s like - justice and whatever, Apollo fucking incarnate, the way he speaks..” Grantaire trailed off. “I don’t know how anyone can hear him talk and not love him.”

“I dunno, he’s not really my type,” Eponine said drily, a smile beginning to curl at the edge of her lips despite herself.

Grantaire laughed. “Must be weird, all of this.”

“Now there’s an understatement,” Eponine muttered, eyes locked on Enjolras, who had returned to his conversation.

“He’s not going to age,” Grantaire said, not quite casual.

“I guess not,” Eponine agreed.

“It’s going to kill him, watching you all age and die.” Grantaire crossed his arms over his chest.

Eponine.. hadn’t thought about that. “Is that why he stayed away?”

“Absolutely not.” Grantaire huffed out a laugh, though he didn’t seem happy about it. “No, he wanted so badly to get in touch, no matter how much we - I - warned him he’d just get hurt. He thinks it’s worth it.” Grantaire looked around the room, and Eponine could see when he softened. “Maybe he was right,” he allowed. “I just hope it doesn’t break him.”

“So you’re the reason he stayed away,” Eponine narrowed her eyes at him.

Grantaire glanced at her. “I just want him to be safe and happy. Getting attached to mortals? Never ends well.”

“It wasn’t your call to make,” Eponine frowned at him.

“No,” Grantaire agreed. “It wasn’t. I didn’t try to stop him from coming here, I just..” He sighed.

Eponine sighed too. “You’re right,” she said eventually. “It’ll kill him to watch us die. And he won’t look away, I know he won’t, he’ll be here.”

“Yeah,” Grantaire agreed.

Sad wasn’t the right word for Grantaire, Eponine thought. Weary, to his bones, with sadness etched into him… for a moment, she felt like she glimpsed him properly, ancient and grand as he was. And then he was just a guy again - a young man in a green hoodie, someone she’d pass on the street and never give a second thought to.

“You’ll be there for him, when it happens,” Eponine said like it was a certainty. She had to hope - believe - that it was.

“Yes,” Grantaire agreed. “I’ll be there. So will they.” He gestured to where Enjolras was gesticulating wildly, accidentally smacking Courfeyrac’s nose when a gesture went too wide. Courfeyrac just laughed, and tweaked Enjolras’ nose in return. Enjolras squawked indignantly, and then the whole group of them were laughing, Cosette and Marius included, and Bossuet, who had joined them at some point.

“You’ll keep in touch,” Eponine said. It wasn’t a question. She held out her phone.

Grantaire looked at her for a long moment. She didn’t squirm, didn’t flinch, just raised an eyebrow.

Grantaire nodded, took the phone, and plugged his own number in. Enjolras’, too, for good measure.

“I was determined to hate you all,” Eponine admitted as she took the phone back.

“I get that,” Grantaire agreed.

“I don’t,” Eponine pocketed the phone. “He seems happy. And he’s out there, making a difference or whatever. If he can’t do it with us, I’m.. glad, I guess, that he can do it with you.”

“He’d stay if he could,” Grantaire said.

“I don’t know if that’s true,” Eponine shook her head. “He cares about you a lot. And them, too, your whole bunch.”

“He’s got enough in his heart of all of us.” Grantaire looked at her.

Eponine smiled a little. “Yeah. Yeah, he does.”

[seateajessi]

Chapter 1

Wc: 1.8k   

@chokemeanakin​ request, my very first fanfic hope you like it <3

There it was this familiar feeling of fear, anger, and frustration creeping into my mind consuming my very soul ​and leave my body frozen.

I failed.

I needed a moment to realize what just happened, a moment I missed to dodge the shot that split my lightsaber in half.

Not that It was of great use to me, now that I was lying on a destroyed federation tank, probably deadly injured and without any support that could turn things for the better.

The stars dancing over me confirmed my worries and slowly a jabbing pain kept me from breathing in more of the burnt air that wavered over the battlefield.

That was it.

That was the end.

The end of a traitor, of someone who left her troops in the middle of a crucial fight only to hunt down a phantom, a specter. There were clear orders to be followed, there was a code that showed a Jedi how to lead, how to live, and most importantly how to survive.

Especially the last part seemed more reasonable to me, as I was dying on that piece of metal junk.

My vision began to blur and the sounds of the battle surrounding me became numbed.

I desperately tried to reach my communicator and I believe more color left my face when I felt the warm blood on my finger.

Tears formed in my eyes as I started to realize what I had done, in what position I had brought not only my troops but the whole galaxy, the republic ... and General Skywalker.

I winced at the thought of Ani, we were friends since we first met as younglings at the temple.

The mission we were sent to was most likely one of the most significant, it held the potential to capture General Grievous and end that monster once and for all. After a defeat of General Grievous and his droids, the Jedi council and chancellor Palpatine were informed by republic supporters that Grievous fled to the Outer Rim.

Palpatine made it clear that two of the most powerful Jedi should execute this mission to ensure certain success. The council was as confused as I was when the chancellor recommended me for this mission, of course, I was a Jedi knight but I was neither a master nor the chosen one, on the contrary, I had never felt strongly connected to the force or was especially skilled with the lightsaber. If it wasn't for the severity of the situation and the lack of available Jedi, the council would have never even considered sending me on this mission.

I closed my eyes and gasped at the pain that slowly numbed my body and my consciousness.

In the Carlac system, we finally tracked a sign, in hindsight obviously way too easy and after we landed on Carlac it didn´t take long and an army had surrounded us. Any communication was blocked and Anakin and I were separated right at the beginning of the battle.

The snow-covered planet made it difficult to keep an overview, heavy blizzards made it nearly impossible to see more than two feet in front of you.

Tiny sobs escaped me when I thought of him being out there alone facing this gigantic army of battle droids. In the Jedi order was no personal attachment allowed and that was the hardest price to pay in order of being a Jedi. He had to be dead by now, yet I didn´t feel any change in the force.

The tears burned in my eyes, realizing that everyone could be dead by now and my weak connection to the force could easily hide it from me.

My thoughts became disorientated and the aching pain had now reached every limb and bone in my body.

My eyelids became heavier and it started to snow again, flakes nearly as big as my hand, they really looked beautiful combined with the fading sunlight.

Something felt so familiar with that picture and for a moment it soothed my pain sending me into something between sleep and unconsciousness.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The nightmare that haunted me was the same as I dreamt it almost every night for as long as I could remember.

Usually, I was wandering through a cave until I would spot daylight and hope to escape this hell only to stop before a dead end every single time. A horrifying scream fills the cave, echoes, and becomes louder and louder until I´d crouch on the ground. Desperation and fear would paralyze me until the cave would begin to crumble and collapse burying me.

This time was no different and with a loud gasp I opened my eyes, adjusting to the harsh mechanical lights that were directed on me.

I couldn´t make anything out in the glaring light, apart from the metallic room that surrounded me, and the fact that I was levitating in the middle of this room, held in some sort of slowly spinning electrical captivation.

It was a wonder that I survived the shooting before but there was no way I would live long enough to...my train of thought was interrupted by the opening of the door.

Battle droids of course and behind them a horrendous creature, half a robot and half Kaleesh.

"General Grievous", I stated, trying to sound as unaffected as possible.

His pestering laugh filled the room as he eyed me carefully.

"I´m a Jedi", my voice sounded horrible, an embarrassing mixture between voice cracks and whispering. Why was I even talking to him, I silently cursed myself.

"Jedi scum for sure, but what´s your name little Jedi?"

"Emerald", I answered slowly starting to feel the pain coming back.

"Is this even a name?", the droid next to Grievous chattered, "Never is that a name.", he continued clearly sure of himself, "We found her on the top of a tank, and her lightsaber was broken. I have it right here. Look at it yourself." he proudly held my lightsaber in front of Grievous face.  

"What am I supposed to do with it you stupid droid?", the Kaleesh snarled. "You´re soon will look like that saber, Jedi scum. Droids, guard her." with that he stamped out, leaving me with that awful sound of "Rodger, Rodger" echoing through the room.

The thought of Anakin and the clones haunted me, there was no way I would give them up so easily.

This was my chance, a new sparkle of hope gave me life, the moment a somewhat brilliant idea came to my mind.

With my most suffering expression, which I didn't even need to fake that much I wailed "Oh, no. I´m gonna die, I can feel it. If I die now, Grievous can´t kill me. How are you gonna explain to him that you let me die when you were instructed to guard me." I sighed dramatically and slowly closed my eyes.

"Is she dead?", "Hey you, Emerald Jedi.", "I think she is dead", "We need to check, I was just promoted." the discussion continued until I roughly landed on the ground, hearing the two battle droids​ approaching to check on my health.

I quietly groaned at the aching pain that definitely originated from the left side of my body.

I felt the cold metal hand on my throat, clumsily checking if I was still alive. "I think she is...dead?!"

I calmed myself collecting everything that's left of my strength and grabbed the droid and ripped his head off. "Whaaat the", the other droid screamed in shock, still compensating why I was still breathing, which made it easier to grab his blaster and shoot it.

I gasped again, this time out of physical exertion, this little fight had brought me near unconsciousness again.

Struggling to set one foot before another I reached the door and opened it, trying to be as quiet as possible while sneaking out of the metallic hellhole.

There were only a few other droids, the base definitely didn´t seem heavily guarded, which was somehow strange.

"Grievous, you know that it is of utmost importance that the Jedi girl...", I froze and slowly approached the corner the voices were coming from. "Skywalker has to walk into our trap..." My heart made a little jump when I realized that Anakin probably wasn´t dead. "...Sidious ordered that she is only to be killed when Skywalker watches." I frowned and carefully retreated. The pain became more unbearable by the second and I still needed to find a way out of here.

Still, I couldn´t keep my mind from start rattling about what I just witnessed.

What in the force's name did they mean by setting a trap for Anakin. I wasn´t sure who the other one was, but I was definitely planning on figuring that out.

I needed to get to our ship and contact the fleet, call for help and inform the Jedi council about this.

I looked for something that would keep me alive and my luck had turned at least that's what I thought the moment I spotted a little something above me.

It seemed like there was some sort of container that had a medical sign-on. My shoulder made a terrible sound as I tried to reach for the switch to open it.

The pain that shot through my whole body caused me to abruptly slump down to the hard metal ground.

Before I could hit the ground hard, I was caught by a pair of strong arms that seemed familiar to me.

Could this be... "Ani?", I croaked and turned around, tears once again forming in my eyes as I saw his eyes full of concern and his hurt expression.

"You promised me you weren´t going to do anything reckless", he whispered and tried to sound taunting but his voice broke when he turned me a bit and saw my side.

I  tried to form a laugh that sounded more like Grievous coughing, due to the amount of blood that came with it.

"Don´t worry it´s gonna be fine. Help is on its way, we-we contacted the fleet.",

My hand clutched for his that tried desperately to soothe my pain somehow.

"Ani, please hold me", I whimpered holding on to him even stronger. I couldn't read the expression that crept on his face but it scared me.

"They are gonna pay for this, every single one of them." he hissed and my stomach turned.

"Just look at me, Ani, please. It´s not that bad.", I whispered caressing his cheek and tried to smile. His expression softens and he carefully picked me up. "You´re so cold, Ems." I huffed and grabbed his hand pressing it against me, placing a soft kiss on his palm. A sad smile graced his face while he covered me with his robe. "See, I´m here, don´t worry.", he placed in return a kiss on my head.

"Ani, I´m scared." I whispered and I don´t know what hurt more the stabbing pain in my side or how his eyes became watery.

I ran my hand softly over his chest and buried myself into his strong arms. I barely felt the pain nor the burning sensation that had caused his touch.

And once again I drifted into sleep, only this time I felt as safe and warm as I never had before.

[hanadolphieron]

loona when jealous~

*based on astrology

a/n- i put this in order of most to least likely to become jealous/whose jealousy is the worst :)

son hyejoo;

hyejoo is such a scorpio and i am scared to go into this but here we go

her scorpio mercury conjunct her venus can make her mind prone to seeing disloyalty in situations when it isn’t even there

this can cause some trust issues, but if hyejoo uses her talent of speaking about emotions from her libra moon, these issues can be resolved

wants her s/o to talk to her!

and reassure her!

about these things

begins to become more light-hearted with her jealousy, instead of keeping it to herself and fuming over it while listening to angsty songs

it can come up randomly though

her aquarius mars is prone to becoming irritated by misunderstandings or injustices

which can relate to jealousy through hyejoo feeling as if her s/o is not understanding her feelings and is disregarding them

may have trouble coming to terms with the fact that she is an individual, and her feelings will never be truly related to or understood :(

which makes her sad, but she does find originality attractive?

send help

jealousy is just something she’s going to have to deal with throughout her life

jo haseul;

please don’t ever make haseul jealous

she will be dramatic, no doubt about it

knows how to step back from problems and see them from other’s perspectives easily, but envy can cloud her vision

most jealous of friends, people who she doesn’t know that hit on her s/o don’t bother her too much

haseul feels so proud of herself because she knows she has you all to herself

but with friends she can begin to get insecure

but her libra venus makes her keen to become friends with the people her s/o knows

depends on her mood and how her day has gone

wants an apology and milks a crunchy bunch of hugs out of you

will tell stories about when she was jealous over you as funny memories

in the end, she’s not too bothered by it

especially if your relationship has been stable and is long-term

but in the beginning she could feel as if you’re not committing (she’s likely not completely committed either tho)

loyalty is required, but is a big step for haseul and any of her potential partners

jeon heejin;

scorpio mercurians are more likely to perceive situations with feelings of jealousy or envy

they could project their own fears into what they see, and bend the truth a bit

and most of the time? it’s not even in their favor, they will see the worst of a situation before anyone else

but! heejin is a libra, and places beauty and good over everything else

so, in a circumstance where her s/o is causing her to feel jealous or possessive, she will hold back her feelings slightly and try to see the light in the situation

heejin will inevitably envy a person if her s/o’s attention is focused mainly of them at some point

but she will address these feelings in a civilized way

talks to her s/o about it, and makes sure they’re not in any way feeling pressured or accused

wants to know if her s/o was aware of how heejin was feeling or didn’t even notice before she continues on with her interrogation

really, heejin just wants an apology

unless her s/o noticed her jealousy and didn’t make any attempt at changing their actions to make her feel better

then, well, heejin won’t be too happy

but you know scorpio venusians, they love it when their partner “sacrifices” something for them and shows their loyalty

kim hyunjin;

hyunjin is more mentally strong in terms of jealousy compared to most other scorpios

her capricorn venus keeps her cancer moon in check, and helps to make her emotions seem more mature and educated

adapts to her partner’s personality easily, and understands if they are a touchy, more affectionate type

won’t restrict their freedom, it’s the last thing she would ever want to do

capricorn venusians take pride in how well they take care of their lovers, so hyunjin would never feel the need to impose accusations of disloyalty upon her s/o

the only reason she would feel jealous is if her s/o was letting someone else protect/take care of them

hyunjin wants to be the only one who does that

will steal her s/o away from that person, and try to show her partner how much she cares and adores them

so wholesome even when she’s hurt i can not

her cancer moon heightens her need to protect

so just let her, don’t try to make others do things for you, hyunjin will happily bake you bread or something or whatever else you need

im yeojin;

i get the vibe that yeojin doesn’t get jealous too easily

well, maybe she does, but just keeps it to herself

distances herself from the situation and her feelings in order to stay grounded

which sounds counterproductive but she makes it work in some magical way

this can make her feel detached from feelings that she needs to confront, however, and can create resentment and grudges without her realizing

it will most likely be her s/o that brings it up, after seeing yeojin be so detached and zoned out for such a long time

yeojin will have been thinking about her feelings regarding envy for a while, which creates the zoning out/distanced vibe

honestly has no idea how to deal with it

her s/o will have to like walk her through jealousy

talking about problems does help yeojin work through them though, and will come to lots of conclusions during the conversation

enjoys learning and maturing through her emotions too

so it’s a win-win

fixes the problem immediately, either works through jealous thoughts or removes the situation that is making her have them

jung jinsoul;

poor baby gets so upset over this

jinsoul’s biggest dream is to have a completely secure relationship

cancer venusians have a tendency to hoard their lover and never let anyone else receive attention from them

they do hold back sometimes though, and keep their feelings to themselves in order to not be hurt by the opinions and reactions of their significant other

jinsoul just wants a loyal s/o who won’t intentionally make her jealous just to mess with her

would feel so betrayed by the “make your s/o jealous and see what they do” trope

although might be prone to at least attempting it on her s/o

she loves the feeling of being wanted

will give up half-way through though, and demand hugs

she just wants cuddles that’s it

a little bit of angst is a favorite of her’s though, and she honestly wouldn’t be too bothered by feelings of jealousy

just as long as they’re not consistent or a major issue

however, she might tend to fall for people that prey on her caring nature and jealousy could be a theme in her love life

she has to learn to step back, stop blaming herself, and find people who are as sincere and loving as her

ha sooyoung;

sooyoung isn’t affected by jealousy as much as her members (cough cough the scorpios cough cough)

is most likely not even going to notice if her s/o is acting more affectionate to others

like you could try and try to make her jealous to see her reaction but like

she doesn’t even realize what you’re doing

her pride is hurt if her s/o does try to do that though, so please don’t attempt that

venus opposition moon can cause unrest in terms of emotions related to love, so jealousy in a relationship would mess up sooyoung’s mind

she would feel uncomfortable and get “bad vibes” from the other person

needs clear communication and not body language/facial expressions used to convey feelings

sooyoung loves people with strong opinions to debate over, and would not be impressed if her s/o didn’t make a stand if someone was hitting on them

doesn’t want the whole watersign-esque way of showing loyalty and stuff

would much rather have their s/o laugh it off, with a little explanation of like “uh i have a girlfriend”

but she wants others to know her s/o is dating her, and is not available

someone hitting on her s/o is like one of two things that make yves jealous

the other being her s/o spending a bunch of time with someone else that isn’t a close friend/family member

park chaewon;

is more protective than jealous, but she has her moments

can subconsciously hurt her own feelings because she focuses on all the tiny details of a situation and observes every movement of you or the person she is jealous of

avoids talking about feelings that are uncomfortable or she thinks you won’t accept

so consequently squishes her jealousy into a tiny ball and tries to throw it away

but it’ll come up at some point

and when it does, it won’t be too bad too be honest

gowon will probably end up confronting you after her virgo moon blows a situation out of proportion while still focusing on all the details

and explodes for like two seconds

then recovers extremely fast and sits there like ?? why was i so mad

hopes you forget the whole situation

and jealousy most likely won’t come up again, now that she got it all out

and guilt will override it

doesn’t remember it after a while, but her mind keeps her thoughts away from jealousy now that a bad experience is tied to it

but before she blows up, her jealousy could be almost like a night terror, she thinks about it constantly and it haunts her for a few days

but as i said, once she lets it out, she’ll be fine

wong gaahei;

naturally, gaahei isn’t that jealous

however, romantic relationships is where her envy comes out the most, due to her scorpio venus

these sorts of situations only happen after you’ve been together for a long time

at first, vivi isn’t too protective and doesn’t want to scare you

observes how you react if she starts to be more protective and possessive

then acts accordingly

although she’ll probably get jealous at some point no matter what

if you’re the type of person who isn’t bothered much by your s/o being overly loyal and attached, then vivi feels more comfortable expressing her feelings in the envy department

gets annoyed at too much unnecessary physical contact

keeps her feelings hidden until she has you alone

doesn’t want to be embarrassed by making a huge scenes (although the daggers in her eyes aren’t helping her attempt at hiding her emotions

talks to you afterward and can be a bit critical ):

but as long as you y’know, do the apologizing thingo and show your loyalty (this sounds real toxic but i promise it’s not, vivi just wants to be overdramatic, such a hopeless romantic)

kim jungeun;

jungeun tends to lose herself inside her head when she experiences feelings of jealousy

her pisces venus in relation to her aquarius sun can make her love style separate from her identity

this means serious insecurity that she doesn’t even notice can squeeze into her relationships and make her seem insincere at times

then, her sagittaiurs moon immediately tells her to run away for fear of being in a situation that traps her and that she can’t escape from

feelings of intensity and revenge scare her

envy is a controversial topic in her eyes and she tries to avoid it at all costs

however, she also has a scorpio mars 

so whenever she lets the jealousy in, it blows up since she’s been repressing it for so long

like i mentioned earlier, jungeun will lose herself in her mind and let her emotions take the reins

this can cause serious damage to her lover and leave them feeling incredibly and untrustworthy

like jungeun will make them question their entire existence for a few hours/days

then she’ll be back, thinking “what the heck did i just do”

choi yerim;

the least jealous out of the twelve

her mars opposes her sun, (sagittarius and gemini,) which creates a struggle between anger and ego

her “triggers” are different than her personality in a way, and unless she was already in a bad mood, jealousy isn’t an emotion she would feel often

however, her gemini sun can make her flip a switch within a few seconds, so changing to a more irritable mood could be easy

but, she doesn’t want to be in a bad mood obviously, so she stays away from hard feelings and almost runs from them

she has a lot of mutable energy in her personal planets, which can cause choerry to look for her s/o’s reaction before acting on her feelings

unless her s/o looks uncomfortable by physical affection/time spent with another person, yerim won’t do much

she’ll stand back and let things happen

might bring up envy at some point, but only in a casual confrontation

her taurus mercury doesn’t like to be challenged, but unless she has a serious reason to bring up conflict she will keep it to the side

laughs about it if she talks to her s/o about it, doesn’t want to make it into a deep situation, just wants some clarification

kim jiwoo;

barely gets jealous, is more protective than anything

will just be confused by situations where she feels jealous, chuu might not even recognize what emotion she’s feeling

talks to her s/o about it though

doesn’t make a huge deal of the whole situation

just wants a small explanation

her capricorn mars can cause her pride to be hurt at some point in time

for example, if her s/o is making her jealous and she realizes how disloyal her s/o is being

she’ll tell them, and that’ll be the end of it

but, if they don’t listen to her, chuu will be really mad

might give the silent treatment

will legit scold her s/o like a parent

might never get over it, capricorn marsians tend to hold onto feelings of grief or betrayal for a long time because they feel as if they could have handled the situation better

it’ll be one of those experiences that chuu slams her pillow into her head over at 2 a.m. because she just remembered it

finds anger to be embarrassing at times? if her s/o isn’t in the same head-space/mood and doesn’t understand her

[101flavoursofweird]

Brenda deserves better.

I’ve talked about some of the other under-appreciated PL ladies like Katia, Janice/Melina and Marina. Now here’s Brenda.

In PL4, Brenda appears in a grand total of two cutscenes (with 0 voiced speaking lines), in a bonus episode and a few credit pictures. At first glance, her character profile doesn’t give us much insight into her personality either. She doesn’t get her own description in the PL4 character section of The World of Professor Layton, just a quick summary in Luke’s Family section. It’s easy to see why people don’t get immediately attached to her.  

There are plenty of other female characters in PL4, even those who aren’t ‘reoccurring characters’, who leave a much bigger impression— Rosa, Emmy, Arianna, Loosha, Marylin, Wren (A lot of my personal favourites!)... Listing them all now, I’m just realising that it’s no wonder Brenda doesn’t stand out! 

We first hear about Brenda when Layton asks Clark how she’s doing. Clark replies dismissively, ‘My wife is fine. She’s away. Family matters.’ Liam O'Brien doesn’t get enough credit for how well he plays Clark. Seriously, as much as he snaps at Luke, if you replay PL4 you can hear the anxiety hidden in Clark’s voice. He then quickly moves on to Luke. Layton says that he hasn’t seen Luke since he was a baby, which would suggest he hasn’t seen Brenda since then either. 

Brenda enjoys travelling, as her character profile indicates, so her absence wouldn’t seem too suspicious at first for Layton. However, it’s the manner in which she left that’s odd. If you talk to Brenda’s NPC friend, Thomas, he’ll discuss Brenda’s departure with Luke. Brenda would usually chat about her travel plans with Thomas, but this time, she left without a word. Thomas wonders if there’s a reason for this. He notes that Brenda always loved family vacations, unless she and Clark were fighting... He could be referring to fights Brenda and Clark have had in the past, or to more recent fights during the spectre attacks. Brenda noticed how Clark was acting like a different person after Evan Barde’s death (something Luke also picks up on), so that might have led to some misunderstandings.  

Luke thinks his mum left because she couldn’t deal with his dad anymore. (Or that Clark had even hidden Brenda away!) But she would never just leave without telling Luke. 

Beth the maid notes that Clark has changed since Brenda left and she’s been hearing noises from the Tritons’ cellar. 

As awful as it would be for anyone to be trapped in a dank cellar for months on end, it must have been especially awful for someone who loves travelling. And in their own house too! Sure, Angela got locked in a hotel room. Yeah, Flora was trapped in a barn. Bill Hawks got taken to Future London for like a week—no one cares. But at least they all got rescued fairly quickly. Much like Angela, Brenda had a hunch about the villain in her town... and she ended up getting imprisoned by Descole.   

When Brenda and Doland escape from the cellar, Brenda’s first concern is Luke and Clark’s safety. Emmy asks if she’s OK, but Brenda doesn’t answer. She’s just shocked to hear that Luke is with the professor. Professor Who? Hershel Layton?! Again, this suggests Layton hasn’t seen Brenda for many years— since Luke was a baby. 

In Layton’s bonus episode with Clark, Layton mentions how Clark and Brenda have always been close. Layton is the one to suggest that the Tritons should come back to London. 

Sadly, we don’t get a conversation between Luke and Brenda, or Clark and Brenda, during PL4.

We do learn that Luke is protective of the bear his mum got him for his birthday. There’s also the heartbreaking bit about Luke calling out to his mum in his sleep while she was missing. But then, we get THIS precious picture from the PL4 credits:

Thankfully, we get more interactions with Brenda during Azran Legacy, and we get more of a feel for her personality. Luke spots his mum in Kensington High Street and wants to say hello to her with Aurora. Brenda is surprised to see Luke, as she thought he was off on a trip with Professor Layton. (She actually calls Layton ‘Hershel’ when she speaks to him!) Brenda is quite happy to let Luke tag along with Layton. Though, she does tell Luke to be on his best behaviour— no reckless rushing around. 

Luke mentions in a dialogue box that he got his blue cap from the fancy hat shop in Misthallery. @laytonerd​​ came up with the idea that Brenda may have bought Luke his classic hat. (In the Layton universe, giving someone a hat is a sign of love*.) And from what we see of Brenda during Azran Legacy... yeah, that sounds about right.

I love how something so simple like the Dress Up Minigame can reveal so much about a character. Brenda is elevated from Loving Mother to Hippie Angel Lady. That quirky part of her personality was already alluded to in her character profile. But now we see that Brenda doesn’t just collect odd souvenirs... She has a very unique style as well. (Her top hat appears to be inspired by Hershel’s top hat—again, adding some weight to their friendship!) Luke thinks her whole outfit is just too much, but Clark thinks she looks stunning and it suits her to a T. This is probably just one outfit amidst a huge wardrobe of wacky outfits. Perfect for Brenda and Clark’s wedding anniversary! Clark states that Brenda’s angel outfit reminds him of when they first started seeing each other... and he doesn’t know what he did to deserve her, making Brenda blush. Luke wants no part in this.

Brenda’s favourite colour is yellow. A colour associated with the sun, flowers, hope, cheerfulness and energy. (Like Emmy!) But it’s also associated with sickness, cowardice and deceit. (Again, relating to Emmy!) I wouldn’t call Brenda a coward, but she was a pawn in Descole’s plan and it probably took some time for her to recover from that. But, from her demeanour, she seems cheerful when she’s in London!

Brenda’s obviously quite close to Doland too. He worries about her when they escape from the cellar. It’s not like he does all the chores around the house! Brenda is the one to cook Luke’s favourite meal (roast lamb) when their family is reunited. Brenda knew when something wasn’t right with Doland while Descole was in disguise. She even refers to him as ‘Our Doland’. Awww!  

We get several conversations between Clark and Layton in PL4, along with a bonus episode, demonstrating their friendship. But I really wish we could’ve seen more of Layton and Brendas’ friendship. Brenda is very relaxed about Luke going with the professor on his trips. (This isn’t surprising as she is a fan of travelling herself.) Brenda is very similar to Layton in how she picks up on other people’s behaviour. Brenda noticed that Doland was acting out of character, and she noticed Clark was being manipulated. She tried to go to the authorities (though, Third Eye Jakes wouldn’t have been much help...) and so, Descole had to take her out of the picture. She, like Layton, posed a real threat to Descole’s plans. Brenda describes Hershel as being very dedicated and hardworking when he was a student, but he’d also disappear for days on random adventures. With Brenda being a traveller herself, that’s another thing she and Hershel have in common! 

To this day, I’m still not 100% sure what Brenda does for a living. In Luke’s Family section in The World of Professor Layton, it’s mentioned that Brenda was ‘also Professor Layton’s classmate’. I’m assuming this means she studied archaeology as well? During AL, she talks about how she’s going to Gressenheller’s Library to do some research for a paper on plate tectonics... I thought that had more to do with geography than archaeology, but who knows? Maybe she does both! So, she might either teach at Gressenheller like Clark and Layton, or she has returned to university to do some studies of her own. She doesn’t seem to work in the same department as Clark, at least. She ‘drops by’ to see how Clark is doing, and to get a look at his department’s cutting-edge technology. 

Brenda, like Professor Sycamore, is partial to the odd pun! She then proceeds to give them a puzzle— ‘Mutual Meeting Place’.

It’s about four friends going to the theatre! ...Four friends. Could that possibly be a reference to Layton, Clark, Brenda and Claire? The girl in the puzzle picture also just happens to have red hair and she’s wearing green! (I just made myself sad.) Unfortunately, Claire doesn’t get so much as unnamed reference when Clark, Brenda and Layton talk at Gressenheller, but it’s easy to imagine Claire was close with them back when they were students. 

I’d like to think Brenda was particularly good friends with Claire. (They may even be a rare ship of mine...) *Who else was obsessed with quirky styles, and bought a hat for someone she loved? Brenda’s top hat in her Dress Up costume looks just like the hat Claire chose for Hershel. Brenda has an interest in new technology— imagine how many hours she spent discussing science with Claire! “You want to be the world’s first time traveller? Sure, go for it!” I find it quite significant that Claire’s death— and the institute explosion— were referenced in PL4. (Chelmey’s bonus episode is so hard to watch!) Had the Tritons already lost touch with Hershel (and Claire) before Claire’s death...? I wish Level 5 had given us more content for the Gressenheller gang. 

I can’t really say Brenda went through any under-appreciated character arcs, like Katia or Janice/Melina. She starts out as Luke’s-loving-mother... and by the end of the prequel games, she’s still Luke’s loving mother, which is fine! By AL, I guess you could say her relationship with Clark is much happier, if they were fighting before? And in the AL bonus episode, she admits she was initially worried about Luke when he wanted to go on adventures with the professor, but she can see has Luke grown up since then. She even helps Luke choose the blue sweater that he wears during the original trilogy games. Brenda and Clark don’t appear during the original trilogy- obviously, as their characters weren’t invented yet. But we could take this as a sign that they’ve accepted Luke’s growing independence and they still trust Hershel immensely! 

There is a picture of the Triton family meeting up with Layton, Flora and the Barde siblings. Luke, Arianna and Tony are looking at a photo, remembering the time they spent together in Misthallery. Brenda is smiling at Flora in the background. Brenda’s clearly happy and, like the Barde siblings, she was able to move on from what happened with the spectre.  

@the-triton-family-blog​ was also a great help for this post!

[satanloveschicken]

Midnight thoughts -B.C.

-Bang Chan

This is a comfort one shot i wrote for myself bc i was sad so i hope it cheers u up bc it worked for me. This was originally an entire fic idea but i’m not sure i want to write a whole ass fic rn but if yall want the entire thing just lmk. also i totaly turned this in as an assignment for my creative writing class. I’m such a clown. omfg

warnings : mentions of suicide, theme of self degrading thoughts, angst

word count : 1,017 

-

“Maybe I should kill myself,” the girl leaning on the balcony rail mumbled to herself. She in fact should not kill herself. But oh, did she so desperately want to.

           The light of the street lamps cast a soft glow over the girls face as she admired the sight below her. Scattered blobs of color from other houses and apartments shone around her. Stars twinkled far above as a light breeze brushed through her hair. The smell of fresh spring rain lingered. God, did Faryn love that smell. It always brought the comfortable reminder of home, but not tonight. No, tonight she hated it. Tonight it brought the reminder of her dead parents.

           Faryn’s hands slipped from where they were resting on the railing to her sides, lying limp. A heavy sigh escaped her lips.

           Why did they have to die? Why did they have to leave us so early? I don’t know what to do without them.

           The cement of the apartment’s wall was cool against her clammy back, her sinuses started to sting. A pressure built up behind her closed eyes. Felix can take care of himself. He has a life here. I shouldn’t have intruded. Faryn didn’t have a choice though. It was either move in with Felix in a new country or stay in Australia where everything reminded her of her parents. Maybe she didn’t want Felix to be alone, or maybe it was really her that needed him more than he needed her.

           It’s just him and her now. Two siblings against the world. She didn’t want it to be just them though. She wanted to be sitting at the dinner table laughing, surrounded by her mom and dad and Felix on family game night. She wanted to be baking a traditional recipe with her mom. She wanted to be working on broken cars with her dad. She didn’t want to be sitting on her younger brother’s apartment’s balcony crying. Yet here she was. Doing exactly that.

           A car honked far below on the street and Faryn flinched. Images flashed in her mind. Blinding lights. Screams. The smell of spilled oil. Fire.

           Faryn slammed her palms into her eyes, as if she could rub out the memories. “No, not now! I don’t want to. Not right now!” She whispered. More tears leaked from the corners of her eyes, gradually sliding down her cheeks.

Faryn shifted on the hard concrete carrying the sound of her pills moving with her. She froze. With a shaky hand she dug the bottle out of her pants pocket. Everything seemed to fade away as she stared at the bottle full of tiny little anti-depressants. Maybe she was delusional but the bottle stared back at her. Taunting her. Egging her on. Wanting her to pop the lid and throw them to the back of her throat.

Yet something stopped her. A voice in the back of her mind. Screaming at her not to do it. But she shoved that voice down. Down, down, down into the deepest parts of her mind and locked it up. A dumb idea really but she clearly wasn’t thinking straight.

Faryn’s thumb freed the pill bottle’s lid from its attachment. The tiny white pills spilled into her hand like a rushing waterfall.

The sliding glass door crashed open and Faryn whipped her head in its direction. There stood her neighbor, staring down at her folded form with sad eyes. His eyebrows were creased in what Faryn might’ve thought was worry. She looked up at him. Her eyes wide and questioning, filled with tears.

He took a step forward, and then another when Faryn didn’t react, up until he was sliding down the wall to sit next to her.

She knew who he was. She knew that he was Chris, Felix’s best friend and now her new neighbor. But what she couldn’t fathom was that he was here. Trying to comfort her when he could be anywhere else. Doing whatever else he wanted. She didn’t understand why someone would value her. She didn’t get why he would pull her into his arms. She couldn’t figure out why he let her cry into his shoulder or why he rubbed comforting circles on her back. She didn’t know but she didn’t care. She kind of liked being held.

The pills that were seconds away from being taken now lay discarded on the floor. The white a stark contrast against the dark gray. They stood out the same way darkness does against light.

Soft sobs spilled into the night. Followed by hiccups and sniffles. They stayed like that for a while. Just sitting. Faryn crying and Chris comforting her.

He wished he could do something more for her but he didn’t know what. He knew not to mention cars or board games but maybe, just maybe, baking something could help her feel better. Probably not one of the recipes Faryn and her mom would make, but maybe a simple chocolate cookie. Cookies almost always cheered people up. They sure seemed to do the trick for him.

Chris’s voice was just above whisper when he spoke, “Cookies? I can make you some cookies and we can put on a silly movie.” He held her tighter, like she might break any second.

The hiccuping slowed down as Faryn took deep breaths. In through her nose and out through her mouth. “Yeah.” Her voice broke on the one word but she smiled anyways. “Yeah,” she repeated, nodding her head that was still lying on his chest.  

“Chocolate chip or sugar?”  

“Chocolate chip.” Faryn’s head moved back so she could look at Chris and his grip loosened a tiny bit, “Please.”

Her smile was breathtaking and her eyes lit up for the first time in a week. Even with snot and tears running down her face she looked like she was gonna be alright for a little while longer.

Chris’s own mouth turned up into a lopsided smile, “Alright, sounds like a plan.”  

After all, a dying plant can still recover with the help of tender care and love.

[pensivetense]

A List Of (Mostly TMA) Fic Recs Sorted By Vibe

Not an exhaustive list by any means, just a few favourites that caught my fancy. I shortened many of the summaries for space.

I’m going to pin this here and update it as I go.

Also, I’m pensivetense on ao3

MELANCHOLY VIBES

for when you want to feel comfortably muted

(sad but not utterly bleak endings here)

Hope, Etc. (Dickenson, et al.) by yellow_caballero

Jonathan Sims, six months after the Unknowing, wakes to find himself without a daemon - without humanity, without a soul. It’s a cursed half-life, but existence as a shell without a heart isn’t so bad: between solving the mystery of a persistent illusion cast over his friends and some light pseudo-cannibalism, a life as a monster is better than no life at all. At least, it would be, if it wasn’t for the fucking Owl.

A freaking. Amazing. Daemon au. Ties the lore of Dust with TMA lore very satisfyingly, but is mostly about Jon navigating what it means to be human, or, in the absence of that, a person, and doesn’t require prior knowledge of His Dark Materials. Cannot recommend highly enough.

after one long season of waiting by nuinuijiaojiao

Annabelle is not used to having nice things. or, Annabelle heads to Upton House, muses a little, and gets some well-deserved rest

I love survivalist Annabelle and also the concept of the Web as kind of a horrible Patron, actually.

i love you. I want us both to eat well. by SmallishWormMasterOfTheUniverse

At the safehouse with Martin, Jon decides it's time to quit statements once and for all. The Eye disagrees. Martin just needs Jon to be okay. It's quite possible that nobody is going to get what they want.

Scottish Safehouse Era, Jon and Martin coping with their respective Entities... really, really good.

the friend by doomcountry

He always greets a new spider when he meets it. It’s instinct, born in childhood, the same way he instinctively counts magpies, or flicks salt over his left shoulder. A little harmless superstition. A bit of politesse.

A great Martin character study with eldritch spider horror included. The imagery regularly haunts me (in a good way).

autumn’s rare gift by bee_bro

Annually, the two meet, renewing the binding ritual where it had all started. The procedure simple: a waltz.

Singlehandedly made me ship Gertrude/Agnes so there’s that. It’s so bittersweet and bee_bro’s writing is, as always, incredibly poetic. (I’d recommend everything they write, actually.)

smile, you’re trending by Goodluckdetective

During an encounter with another Avatar of the Eye, Jon faces his past, Martin takes a turn at playing Kill Bill and Basira has a second look at the monster she’s determined to see. For three people associated with the Eye, they could all use some perspective.

Features an original Eye Avatar character who’s a YouTube personality; she is infuriating and inspired and genuinely frightening and I cannot say enough good things.

Humility by The_Lionheart

have you no idea that you're in deep?/i've dreamt about you nearly every night this week,/how many secrets can you keep?

An OC centric story but don’t let that put you off, it’s amazing. Very heavily focused around Jonah Magnus and the other Avatars as they change through the years. Also, I’d die for the OC.

oh, for one sweet second without the eye series by faedemon

Beholding does not like in the way humans do, but it likes its Archivist all the same.

I’m just so fond of the way this is done stylistically. I have a great weakness for dialogue only/dialogue heavy writing, not to mention all of the wonderful character beats and interplay of humanity/inhumanity for Jon and Melanie.

Rewind by WhyNotFly

It takes eight days of forced confinement for Jon to start hallucinating. [...] It’s Martin, though, that his exhausted brain conjures, because of course it’s Martin. After all this time, of course it’s Martin.

Jon willingly allows himself to be confined rather than hunting for statements, and examines his relationship with Martin.

for a firmament series by supaslim

There is beauty in destruction. There is art in becoming. In which Jon becomes the Archive, and the Archive becomes Jon.

Part two posted this morning and uhhh. Good. Also if you’re here for weird eldritch body horror (I am), this one’s for you.

ONES THAT JUST HURT

for when you want to feel sad

(somewhat bleaker endings here/everyone is NOT okay)

Feste by yellow_caballero

If asked, Martin would say that he became the shadow director of the Magnus Institute by accident. But nobody ever asked, and nobody ever cared, and it was in this way that Martin stopped lying to himself. Or: break free, Martin. All you have to lose are your chains. And your sanity.

Oh, this one totally didn’t go the way I expected it to. A study in isolation. Could go into the category above, as the ending is not bleak, but the tone of the whole is somewhat more depressing than most there.

Ghosts of Love by RavenXavier

Nothing made Martin more grounded in the world than yearning for Jonathan Sims.

Lonely!Martin that really captures a sort of visceral ache. Hurts me and yet I keep rereading.

i do desire (we may be better strangers) by godbewithyouihavedone

For ages, it only knew how to worship, taking human bodies and living off the fear of those who remembered. It never knew love until it became Jonathan Sims. Now it must fight against every instinct to save Martin Blackwood. Archivist Sasha, Not!Jon/Martin, and the worst kind of Fake Dating AU.

Oh, this one just made me sad. The poor not!them, which is something I never thought I’d say.

Apple Of Your Eye by fakeCRfan

In which the Eye is fond of Martin. Perhaps a little too fond for comfort.

Somehow manages to be both sweet and horrifying—the characterisation of the Eye is incredible. ‘The Eye loves Martin’ is a scenario that’s so utterly doomed to failure and yet the writing is packed with so much pathos that I just want them all to be happy. A fantastic use of themes of agency and choice, and the single best use of Beholding as a source of horror I’ve read.

The Last Press by copperbadge

Jon Sims is awake, and has begun preparations for the Rite of the Watcher's Crown. Peter Lukas, who woke him, would be content to rule at his side. Martin is very upset about all of this, and the Lukases aren't thrilled with it either.

I really can’t say anything without spoiling the end and it’s so good. An alternate take on the Watcher’s Crown. Not a pairing that I ever thought would work for me, but this made it work.

watch the blood evaporate by 75hearts

It starts, like so many things in Jon’s life have started, with a nagging itch of curiosity. Jonathan Sims uses his healing abilities throughout s4. Read the tags.

Dear God please read the tags. But this is some high quality pain if it’s for you.

the lighthouse series by low_fi

Peter Lukas is a lighthouse keeper. One evening, he gets a call from a cryptic overseer tasked with monitoring his work.

This is such a vivid and yet subtle story—from the setting to the emotions portrayed, it creeps up on you slowly. The ending was like the gentlest possible gut-punch. The sequel just completed, and yeah, just as wonderful. This one is very much LonelyEyes but I listed it here because it is just exquisitely painful.

SATISFYINGLY HOPEFUL VIBES

for when you want to feel cozy

Clutching Daffodils by Gemi

Martin has always liked the idea of love at first sight. It’s such a romantic idea, the whole thing of it. Seeing someone and instantly feeling that strange, twisting feeling deep inside that every single media likes to obsess over. Of knowing you are in love within the day, petals falling from your mouth and warmth filling your chest as love burrows deep, vines twisting through your lungs. He always liked the idea of it. And then Jonathan Sims starts working at the Magnus Institute.

Somehow manages to be lighter and fluffier than most hanahaki fare, despite the setting. I’ve reread this one a lot.

the least he could do by Prim_the_Amazing

Martin should in fact not pick this man, specifically because of how attracted he is to him. It would be the responsible thing to do. Except he’s already following him. And he’s hungry.

Fluffy vampire au which everyone’s probably already read, but was too good not to mention.

rather interesting by bee_bro

Jonah Magnus realizes that, for some reason, when he comes in contact with weed, Elias Bouchard's consciousness will come into his life banging pots and pans.

Oh boy. So these are all favourite fics but this one is a favourite amongst favourites. The way Jonah is characterised (i.e. incredibly sensitive to scrutiny) is my favourite depiction of him, and the slow-burn between him and Elias is far sweeter than it has any right to be. Also, it’s hilarious.

The Magnus Records series by ErinsWorks

In a world parallel to that of the Archives and the Institute, a supernatural sanctuary stands against a cruel and uncaring world: A world of bureaucracy and tyranny, of murder and carnage, of loneliness and surveillence, of plague and death. But in this world of fear and misery, 14 entities born of the hopes of the world have emerged. And one of them has made their home here, at The Magnus Sanctuary. Perhaps, the employees within may lead happier lives than their counterparts did in the Archives.

This is just so goddamn pure. The author writes a really imaginative, fleshed-out alternate world and alternate Entities with engaging, well-written short statements. All of the character voices are absolutely on point, and it’s overall absurdly hopeful without ever feeling overly saccharine. I love this series so much, you guys, you don’t even know. I want to print it out and paste it on my wall. I love it.

HARD APOCALYPSE

for when you want to feel dark and angsty (and eldritch)

Most of these are shorts/oneshots because it’s just that kind of genre, y’know?

Ashes to Ashes by marrowbones

A conversation at the end of the world.

Oliver Banks is one of those minor characters that I am overly attached to. Love him here.

Employee Benefits by equals_eleven_thirds

The Magnus Institute offered some normal employee benefits: a pension plan, holidays, travel subsidies, free lunch on the last Friday of each month. Rosie makes it work.

This manages to hit that perfect sweet spot of satisfying and hilarious. Rosie gets to torment Elias, as she well deserves.

a rose by any other name by Duck_Life

Part of Jon blooms in Jared Hopworth’s garden.

This one was sad and honestly too gentle to really belong in this category, but I love it.

Eye to Eye by Dribbledscribbles

In which Jonah Magnus attempts a post-apocalyptic pep talk.

Unreliable narrator at its finest, and the implications are suitably horrific.

commensalis by doomcountry

The tower is endlessly, impossibly tall, but Jon’s work is taller.

If you’re here for the eldritch imagery, then this has some of the best.

SOFT APOCALYPSE

for when you want to feel gently triumphant

apocalypse how series by sunshine_states

Humanity adjusts. The Entities have Regrets.

Some nice vignettes set in a kinder apocalypse.

ceylon series by Sciosa

The one in which Jonathan Sims decides that no, actually, he isn't going to let the world just end.

I include this only for the sake on completeness, as everyone has no doubt already read it.

rituals by doomcountry

Martin is the first person to knock on the Archivist's door since it arrived, fully, into its little waiting temple. The Archivist saw him coming from down the hall, but decides to feign interest when the knob turns, and Martin—still a little bit smaller, a little more translucent than before—stands uncertainly just outside the room.

This one’s a little less focused on the world at large and more on JonMartin specifically.

we raise it up by savrenim

Jonathan Sims reads a book and saves the world; although maybe the real salvation is the friends he makes along the way; (although perhaps the world itself and the darkness that exists behind it isn't quite as out to get everyone as it seems).

More ‘soft revolution’ than ‘soft apocalypse’, but has the same vibe. A time travel fix-it. Incomplete but worth it if this is a mood that appeals to you.

Scarred Ground by DictionaryWrites

“You see," Elias said softly, "people always have this idea that only living things can be scarred - and they're right, of course. But a building is a living thing, Martin. And the ground can be scarred, too." "I don't have any scars," Martin said. "Yes, you do," Elias said. "You just need the right light to see them.”

Falls somewhere between ‘Apocalypse’ and ‘Soft Apocalyse’ but I’m putting it here because I feel like it. Also technically a LonelyEyes fic. I found it hard to follow at first but it’s worth sticking with; things will eventually begin to make sense and come together.

LONELYEYES

for when you want to feel lonelyeyes

marrying anguish with one last wish by procrastinatingbookworm

In which Elias isn't Orpheus, and Peter isn't Eurydice, but Elias brings Peter home anyway.

Lives in my head rent free forever. My favourite lonelyeyes fic.

ouroboros by Wildehack

“You know,” Jonah says, a muscle in his calf quivering agreeably where it’s slung over Mordechai’s shoulder, “it’s really quite--fortunate--that I don’t care for you at all.”

Oh, this one hurts in the best possible way. The endless cycle of their relationship, the way it comes full-circle... yeah, good. Actually, no, this one might be my favourite. It’s a tie.

Breaking all the Rules by Thedupshadove

Elias proposes a somewhat...unusual wager.

Soft lonelyeyes? In my recs? It’s more likely than you think. Short, sweet, and... sweet.

Threefold by Sprinkledeath

Peter Lukas breaks three rules.

I’m just a slut for mythology allusions I guess.

Luck Be A Lady Tonight by prodigy

In 2014, Elias Bouchard takes a rare trip outside of his comfort zone. Peter Lukas wastes a bunch of money. You'd be surprised how many things can go wrong for two beings of cosmic power.

I love the sense of the history of them you get while reading this.

love is just a word (the idea seems absurd) by kaneklutz

"Something's wrong. It's stopped hurting" An avatar of the Lonely and an avatar of the Beholding walk into a bar relationship. It was bound to blow up in their faces.

Short, sweet, painful. Excellent exploration of their priorities.

Victor by penguistifical

elias tries something with his powers that he hasn't attempted before

The one where Elias tries to raise the dead. Not incredibly LonelyEyes centric but that’s still the pairing.

Simon Says by penguistifical

“Peter asked me to drop by and have a word with you, and, so, here I am.” Simon chuckles at Elias’s disbelieving stare. “Well, he asked in his own way. He’s not a complicated man, you know. He either comes from your arms looking like a stroked cat that’s been given a dish of cream or looking like he’s been in that toy boat of his out in an unexpected storm. He was far angrier than normal, so I daresay you weren’t cream today.”

I mean personally I’d just go ahead and rec all of penguistifical’s LonelyEyes fics but this is a standout for me.

AROMANTIC AND ASPEC MOODS

for when you want to feel Seen

The Aro Archives series by WhyNotFly

These are all just really really good. From Aro!Peter to two different aro-spec versions of the Scottish Safehouse to a long and beautiful aro hanahaki fic, this series is uniformly wonderful. The two Scottish Safehouse ones (Torn Edges and Murky Water) are my comfort fics.

and now all fear gives way by j_quadrifons

Before he can think it through, he murmurs, "Is that what it feels like? Being in love?" Martin's hand stills in his hair and Jon's stomach drops.

This one just. Wow yeah this is how it be. Another absolute comfort fic of mine.

Sweet As Roses by Prim_the_Amazing

Jon takes Martin by the shoulders, leans up on the tips of his toes, and kisses him.

I’m going to be honest—I didn’t know where to put this one. But it ended up here because the real standout of this fic for me is the portrayal of Sasha, and especially her portrayal as an aro character. So I’m putting it here. Mind the content warnings with this one!

HUMOUR

for when you want to feel delight

The Torment of Sebastian Skinner by Urbenmyth

After the Eye's victory, the statement givers are trapped in their horror stories, living them over and over again. Naturally, this works out better for some then for others.

Premise? Delightful. Execution? Fantastic. I read this one to cheer myself up when I’m sad.

Unlucky by VolxdoSioda

Jon’s dice betray him

Short, sweet DnD au, and the reason I cannot get DM!Elias out of my head now.

Voracious by beetl

A bird hits the window. Jon experiences The Flesh's thrall.

“Dead Dove: Do Not Eat” but make it literal.

The Stupid Endings by Urbenmyth

There are a lot of very deeply thought out and creative AUs on this site. These aren't among them. These ones are how the story could have ended, if Jonny Sims was a dumbass.

These are just uniformly hilarious, I cannot recommend them highly enough.

PODCAST CROSSOVERS

for when you want to make one of those “if I had a nickel for every time...” posts

The Sabbatical by morelikeassassin

Nicholas Waters is in need of an all-knowing eldritch entity beyond the confines of human imagining to help with his latest ritual. He'll have to settle for Jonathan Sims, who happens to have nothing better to do.

Crossover with Archive 81 (s3, specifically). Both fun and bittersweet.

The City And Its Sorrows by cuttooth

“What makes you think your friend is in Eskew?” David asks. He feels he can risk the scrutiny of the city that far. “I read that this is a place people end up when they get lost,” says the man. “This is a place people end up,” David agrees./The Archivist comes to Eskew.

Contemplative piece, and I love the way it presents David’s relationship with Eskew, the way he finds it horrible and hates it and yet belongs to it, is almost proud in the way he shows to to Jon. Great little vignette of two people oppressed by eldritch powers, intersecting.

Hiatus by bibliocratic

My name is Jonathan Sims, and I am in Eskew. (Jon gets lost in a Spiral city. It is not as easy as escaping.)

This one is far more focused on Jon than David, and is honestly more Eskew-weird than Spiral-weird. In the best way. Told in Eskew episode style, and is very good.

Sweet Music by Shella688

Eskew has a music to it, if you know how to listen. The percussion beat of thousands of footsteps, the melody in the squealing of the trains overhead. Today, the music of Eskew comes in the form of nine musicians, playing outside my office. My name is David Ward, and I am in Eskew.

Not TMA, but since a lot of Mechs fans go here—this one’s a Mechs/Eskew crossover. Short and simple, mostly David Ward centric, just a little well-written one shot I had to mention because I enjoyed it but it doesn’t have much traffic. Nice portrayal of the Mechs from an outsider’s perspective, and how genuinely strange and frightening they’d come across (especially if you’re already being haunted by and eldritch city). If you like Eskew-style storytelling, check it out!

NOT TMA

...but good enough that I physically cannot make a recs list without including them. Here!

[cosmosrival]

Rico besides Kama what do you think about the other indian servants?????

AHHHHHHHHHH THIS IS GOING TO GET SOOOO LONG!!!! i have a different view of the indo fam as a whole. i call them the indo fam but i mean the found family trope!!!! theyre like a group of college students sharing a dorm if that makes sense, since their servant selves are obviously different from their initial myths/human vessels!!!

OK SO. RECENTLY, i have an oomf that found books about arjuna that summarize his exploits in the mahabharata(I DONT HAVE THE STRENGTH TO READ IT ALL IM SO SORRY) and also talk about him in a more philosphical manner such as his states of mind during each event etc and i’ve been meaning to read said book because im genuinely interested in arjuna now!!! and i’d like to know more about this indo prince because from what i’ve seen, he is portrayed in a rather bad light(?) in FGO which i find extremely !!!!!!!!!!! and incrdibley !!!!!!! strange !!!!!!! the mahabharata’s conflicts can be put in a mostly grey area where there’s no good nor bad, its not black and white. so seeing arjuna get bashed because of the way his conflict with karna was written is... hm. let’s say that im REALLY starting to understand arjuna fans that dislike seeing him get mischaracterized so much. OTHER THAN THAT, his design is adorable, his travel outfit is my favourite because he deserves to relax and have some fun!!! fgo making him a chuuni is cute and his VAs little moans are cute cute cute!!!!!!!!!!! (mash grabs my shoulder and forces me to sit down) i think that arjuna deserves better and im really happy to see him have fun in his travel costume voicelines. i think we should take arjun on a date!!! he’s a great lover, we’d have the best time!! OH ALSO, kama seeing him as the student council president in their interlude makes me SOOOOOOO HAPPY its unreal, i think it fits him very very well, the seitokaichou who was elected because of everyone’s hopes and recommended by teachers because he’s suuuch a good student but because of that, the pressure to be good is constantly towering over his head and everytime he looks out the window he wishes he could ditch class and skip a day just because he felt like going to the arcade and be a bad student.......just this once........i think hes very very cute...... i want him to cook for me. HAVE YO U READ HIS BOND 4 VOICELINE ?mmmmmggg i want him to get embarrassed everytime i praise him for having such a muscular waistline. AUG

ANEWAYS i also have quite the thoughts about karna, his characterization in the game is linked to arjuna’s and thats fine but i think that forgetting how much of a little sassy bastard he can get was a mistake! did you know that in apocrypha’s german dub on netflix, when jeanne calls his name like “You’re Karna, aren’t you ? The son of the Indian Sun God !” HES LIKE “So ?” AND THAT WAS SOOOO BITCHY OF HIM, i think that karna is a good boy in fgo but the fact that he was such a fighty old man in the mahabharata shouldnt be forgotten and is a charm trait. I MEAN ???? HE THREW HANDS WITH AN 18 YEAR OLD(ARJUN) WHILE BEIN LIKE... THIRTY TWO. WHATS WITH THIS ANNOYING OLD MAN !!!!! knowing these little facts about him made me like him so much more actually !! i think karna being so nice is adorable!! but the little bitchy energy u can find in his voicelines is also very charming!! i think karna looking at me emotionless as i ask him to lend me his notes for the nth time that week and then saying “...Mn.” when i thank him is cute!!! his voiceline towards things he dislikes is interesting to me. karna seeming aloof and mean bc he doesnt know how to communicate but is actually nice underneath...... hey... thats a little delinquentcore........ i wouldnt say yankii but hes like... hes like... u know hes the handsome quiet one of the group of yankiis... u know the one...? hey where are you going

ganesha is also a character im deeply interested in but i havent played CCC so i dont know that many details about jinako herself !! my brain goes HMMMMMM it seems lord ganesha is trans in fgo ! (since kama used to be a male god originally as well!!) ganesha uses all pronouns!!! and ganesha is also special to me because they share similar traits with kama when it comes to their characterization AND mischaracterizations. ganesha isnt JUST jinako. theres a part of a god in the servant mix!!! and jinako HERSELF is actually a pretty sad character imo. the whole otaku/neet thing is obviously a facade and her true wish being that she wants to redo her whole life is also proof of how much she hates what shes become, yet at the same time, she doesnt know what else she could do. but anyways, i prefer looking at servants from a lore POV so i think that ganesha should still be considered a god and be adressed as such!! i like seeing people portray ganesha as jinako but i prefer it when a certain lavish more godly side of them is put forward. a side of jinako that managed to move on a little bit if that makes sense ? that got more serious. and became someone else entierly despite sharing similarities. needless to say their bond with karna makes me happy since he shows them respect as you should towards a god!! its a bit different from their bond in CCC... like they matured somewhat!! anyway ganesha is the one who taught everyone else in the indo fam about video games and technology and i will NEVER shut up.

ashwatthama..... MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM %_’(’ç_”’è_ç(è_’”545656455456545453£¨¨µ¨µMµ¨++°=)=)°+ goodness. jesus christ on earth. my love story with him makes me so embarrassed. when he got revealed i instantly fell in love with him despite knowing JACK SHIT ABOUT HIM but since i was the only one in my friend group who was hardcore into fgo at the time, i kept my love for him to myself and just... (looks away)(i drop my wallet full of picturses of him) quietly adored his everything in silence. WELL, ree having an intense crush on yankii type characters isnt new, its been my favourite trope for ages (gyarus go in hand with them!!) and im still very attached to it so thats what made me love him in the first place!!!! BUT THEN. I GOT INTO HIS MAHABHARATAN LORE. And OHHHHHHHHH BABY.......... (im twirling my hair) so theres this 7ft tall war criminal..........<3<33<3(mash leans in and informs me that the convention of geneva didnt exist at the time) SO THERES THIS 7 FTTALL IMMORTALMAN.......<233 gOD he makes me absolutely CRAZY9909840385%£%%£%%µ%µ%µ the love i have for this character is immense and whenever im sad i remember that pako exists and has a tablet and can draw and i suddenly feel so much better. ok im gonna stop horny posting a little bit. but hes my wife. AND WHAT I LOVE ABOUT HIS PORTRAYAL IN FGO IS THAT, they actually made him a good boy despite his initial roughness and misdeeds ???!!! HELLO?? ashwatthama wishing for a redemption ark is my favourite thing and his righteousness that was born because of his regrets is a very interesting drivepoint to me !!! hes a gorgeous character and im buying a ticket plane as we speak right now so i can go find him in northern india. i’ll find him. GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME !!!!!GET OFF ME !!!

miss lakshimi makes me very sad! because every female servant in the indo fam is an already known face. (... would sita count.) and lakshi being a jeanneface is a waste. well, she’s still very pretty and her lore is also quite interesting!! i havent looked into it fully yet but i think she should be kissed on the mouth. her bad luck makes me slip on a banana peel whenevr i get close to her to kiss her and i hit my head on the pavement and pass away- 

parvati is on a tough spot for me atm. i genuinely love thinking of her as the way the indian goddess herself is portrayed because thats where the fun lies for me in her character. especially when shes involved with other indian servants, thats a given!! i would like to see parvati grow, suffer and heal. because branding her as an “all-knowing mom” is easy, but every single parent makes mistakes if you follow that logic. also, since shes the sakura servant “thats closest to her initial personality”, she’s got some of the most Repulsive fans ive Ever witnessed in fandom spaces and lets say that im trying to work my way out of this hellhole and find things to like about parvati without the fandom’s influence. needless to say, im going to keep looking into her mythos and her lore by myself at my own pace and keep doing my own thing in my little corner. 

rama shouldve been a jock. THE RAMAYANA IS OLDER THAN THE MAHABHARATA, WHY IS.....Hrm well him being summoned as his baby version gives me hope for a future rama alt perhaps??? but i think that he shouldve been a total jock and he shouldve been huge with a huge red lion-like mane for his hair and a teethy grin and big biceps and intense love for his wife. SPEAKING OF SITA, her charm point is her purity but i wish.... that their artist still hadnt drawn them like That, im not a fan of lily servants and i think purity = being young is a bit of an annoying excuse!!! rama and sita looking similar is because of their shared history which is fine but... rolls my eyes............. rama shouldve been 6ft tall and sita shouldve been a milf to match...... anyways i doubt ravana would be added as a servant but i’d love to have a ramayana centric event!! where all indo servants have their own lore centric role to play!!! oh thatd be a dream.... but i have learned to not expect much from a fanservice game so im jus gonna draw my own stuff! (strikes a pose!) (mashu claps!)

[whereyoursoulresides]

A new chapter has been posted! You can read it on A03 or below the cut!

In this chapter, Kunzite meets and confronts a familiar face from the dark past.

The next morning, Kunzite left the apartment a bit earlier than usual. He was curious to see this new cafe, and wanted to visit as a form of celebratory support. As he was already in uniform, the visit would have to be brief - probably just long enough to pick up a set of drinks for his team. 

When he arrived, the coffee shop was bustling with life. Overhead, the snazzy letters of the Dark B-ean Garden flashed in neon against a slick dark backdrop. Posters of rich, deep coffee grounds and beans hung in alternating windows. Inside, dark green flora fanned from the corners of the room, creating a warm, lush, darkly tropical environment that Kunzite assumed was an homage to the coffee’s home of origin. The establishment was filled with both students and young professionals, all chatting excitedly to one another as they admired the quality of brews on the menu.

When it was his turn at the counter, the waitress instantly recognized him. She was a tiny little thing, with a darling bob of dark hair and wide brown eyes.

“Officer Saitou!” she cheered with delight. “It’s been a long time!”

“Yes,” Kunzite nodded in response. The last time he had seen her was on that fateful day nearly half a year ago, when he had given her Izou’s practice exams to pass on. “How are you, Ueda-san?”

“I’m well, thank you,” she chirped. “What can I get for you today?”

Kunzite placed an order for five of their most expensive coffees, as well as a box of cakes. 

“Thank you,” he said, as he handed her the money. “Izou is very excited to work here.”

“You’re welcome!” she replied, punching the keys on the till with automated speed and bubbliness. “He’ll be a perfect fit here, I just know it! The assistant manager liked him immediately. In fact - oh, ...darn…”

The till seemed to jut out its drawer, but had jammed. “Sorry,” she said to Kunzite apologetically. “Please wait one moment, I have to go grab our manager. It’s a new system, I must’ve typed in something wrong.” 

“Take your time.”

As Ueda-san quickly disappeared into the backroom, Kunzite glanced around the coffee shop again. Yes, this seemed like just the right place for Izou. It was contemporary, youthful, and clearly he would be among friends and other respected peers - 

“I’m sorry to bother you, so soon after your vacation,” Ueda-san was saying sheepishly. “It was working before…”

“Don’t worry, Ueda-san,” a familiar voice floated by his ear. Kunzite’s eyes snapped wide and he jerked to face the voice’s owner. 

“I’ll take over,” the manager was saying, her voice rich but far-away. As the cash drawer discharged like a bullet, Kunzite couldn’t believe who he was seeing before him. 

Though her hair was inky black in this life, they still floated behind her in their distinct tresses, disappearing into the darkness of her clean and pressed uniform. She was smaller now than he remembered, but still remained an impressive height, even in kitten heels. It made her amber eyes almost equally level to his, and in the moment that their eyes met, Kunzite knew she had recognized him too.

“Beryl,” he said without thinking.

There was a blink, but Kunzite instantly caught the guarded clarity flash in her eyes. She placed her hand on the tray with Kunzite’s order, her shortened talons scraping firmly against the cardboard sleeves.

“Pardon me,” she said in a slow but clear voice. “I didn’t catch that. Will there be anything else, officer?”

Kunzite didn’t say anything as Ueda glanced between the two of them with some confusion. In lieu of his answer, his money swiftly disappeared into the till. His change was brought back as though nothing was out of the ordinary, and then his order was pushed towards him firmly.

“Have a good day,” was all Beryl said to him. Before he could protest, she had already looked past his shoulder. “Next.”

Kunzite knew there was nothing he could do at this moment. Heart thundering in his ears aside, he was in complete uniform, and he obviously could not interrogate her for a crime no one was even aware of.

“Officer Saitou?” Ueda was calling to him. “Is everything okay?”

“Yes,” Kunzite replied abruptly, picking up his items. “Good day.”

Without another word, Kunzite turned on his heel and left the establishment briskly. 

He’d catch her at a more appropriate time.

---

Over the next several days, Kunzite intended to catch Beryl outside her shift. It took several attempts to figure out her cadence, but eventually, on a dusky evening, Kunzite was ready. 

He was sitting in his car when he noticed the woman stepping out of the door. Now was his chance. He was out of uniform and off-duty; there would be nothing to interrupt his meeting with the woman he once followed to Hell.

As Beryl rounded the corner, Kunzite stepped out of his car, effectively blocking her path. Beryl halted immediately, but made no move to maneuver around him.

“We need to talk.”

Once resting dead-ahead, Beryl’s eyes finally shifted to rest on his face. They were unflinchingly blank, with the same cold aloofness of her monarchical past. Dark curls swayed slowly by her face as he waited for her response.

“If I answer your questions, will you leave me alone?” she asked, her voice clear and straight as it always had been.

Kunzite couldn’t promise. “That’ll depend on your answers.”

Her eyes flickered briefly as if to nearly roll them, but she swiftly retained enough composure to jerk head towards the coffee shop again. 

“My office then.” 

She swivelled on her high heels and led them back inside the establishment. Kunzite knew why. It was a safe but private meeting ground for both of them. Public enough that there was help should he cause any trouble, private enough for them to speak without attracting attention.

The colleagues all seem happy enough to see her again, if a bit puzzled. She was friendly enough with them, something Kunzite found bizarrely out of character. They disappeared quickly into the office in the back of the shop, a small, cramped room stacked with boxes and plain, uncomfortable metal chairs. A calendar hung above the mini fridge, and her desk - an ornate mahogany affair that was the only piece of furniture indicative of her past - straddled the width of the small room. It nearly bloated it.

“Let’s make this quick,” she said as the door closed, gesturing to Kunzite to sit in the chair in front of the desk. “What exactly do you want from me?” As she settled in her own seat, Kunzite couldn’t help but notice that even in a bedraggled coat and plain black uniform, she still lounged in her chair with the elegance of a queen.

“I know you have your memories,” Kunzite started. “What are your intentions here?”

Beryl arched her eyebrow, looking darkly unimpressed. “To lead a normal life, as I assume the rest of you are doing,” she replied coolly. “The life of Kurosawa Akako is very ordinary, and I intend to keep it that way.”

He didn’t believe it for an instant. “You haven’t contacted any of the others? Jadeite, Nephrite?” His eyes narrowed suspiciously. “Even Tuxedo M-”

Beryl instantly raised her hand, and her expression swiftly turned severe. “Don’t be quick to assume my current actions based on our history, Kunzite,” she said stonily. “I will have you know I have absolutely no intentions of seeking any one of you again in this life. I have enough to focus on without troubling those who would have completely valid reasons for wanting me dead.”

Kunzite still wasn’t buying it. His blood was slowly pumping faster and faster, thrumming in his ears as he gripped the metal arm rests tightly.  “Certain feelings are hard to ignore, even in a third life,” he challenged quietly.

Her eyes, once steel, briefly flickered with…sadness? Bitterness?

“Those feelings can be overcome,” Beryl replied back softly, as a dark lock of hair fell loosely from her sharp fingers. “Even if it means cutting a part of you off to grow something new.”

Kunzite’s knuckles whitened. His grip on the metal arm rests with enough strength to warp them.

“Stay away from Zoisite,” he finally demanded, without thinking.

Unexpectedly, Beryl’s face lifted in surprise.

“I haven’t seen him,” she said, genuinely confused. “Unless-...” Beryl’s eyes glanced upon the collection of resumes that were on her desk, and one that had a little note attached to it. 

“...Kozakura Izou,” she read. “Is that what Zoisite goes by now?”

By the look on Kunzite’s face, Beryl understood she had correctly identified him, and casted a bemused smirk.

“Well, you must forgive me for not immediately recognizing his civilian name. I-zou I understand, but his surname should be Saitou if you had expected me to put two-and-two together.”

When Kunzite remained stone-faced, Beryl’s brief attempt at humor swiftly evaporated. “ Well, if that is what you wish, Kunzite, I won't have him working here." She reached forward to pull off the post-it note and scratch his name from the schedule.  “There. Will that suffice?”

Having watched her discard Zoisite’s employment so easily suddenly made Kunzite uncomfortable. Momentarily, Kunzite remembered how Izou had been excited to work here, how  it had been a good fit with university, how much more time he had been hoping this would gain him to share with Kunzite at home.

No, Kunzite ultimately decided. Better to have Izou be rejected by this job than for him to be triggered by another traumatic memory. He would understand, surely.

"That would be acceptable."

Without a moment’s hesitation, Beryl swiftly ripped Izou’s resume cleanly in half, then in quarters. The echoing tear that resounded made Kunzite’s heart unexpectedly jump.

“There,” she said, as she discarded the remaining quarters into the trash bin under the desk.  Her long fingers knitted over each other elegantly. "Will there be anything else?" 

Suddenly, Kunzite's eyes flashed up again, his defenses surged to full strength. His instincts were telling him to leap to his feet and tear this woman limb from limb. But for reasons he could not understand, isolate, or give voice to, his muscles remained frozen in time, straining for him to keep control. Beryl must have recognized this tension in him and the danger it hinted, for she faced her palm to him warningly, as if halting a rottweiler. 

"If I were you, Kunzite,” her voice dangerously slow and dark, “I’d put down any ridiculous notion of revenge you may want to extract from me. You’ll have to wait in line behind many others seeking justice by spilling my blood."

"Maybe I won't wait," Kunzite finally said, but even his own words sounded hollow to him. Beryl must have heard the same, for she scoffed.

“If this is for Zoisite’s death, may I remind you that you all knew the terms and conditions of your servitude to the Dark Kingdom. Though I was the one who delivered the final blow, your acceptance made you equally complicit.” 

“I tried to stop you,” Kunzite argued. “I-”

“Yes,” Beryl agreed. “And for all the power at your disposal to interfere, you and I both know that you hardly tried at all.”

In a flash, Kunzite flew to his feet. The chair skittered back several feet, its grating echo cutting across the cement room, as his full height towered over her.

“Don’t mistake my loyalty for agreement!” His voice was uncharacteristically loud, booming in his ears. He had never spoken to his queen with much volume, this much anger.

“I think you’re the one who’s mistaken,” Beryl replied lowly over her threaded knuckles. “That’s exactly what your loyalty meant.”

As much as Kunzite wanted to show her the full force of his disagreement, deep down he knew he could not. His muscles began slowly to atrophy, but he remained shaking his head.

"I believed in you," he whispered, lowly and bitterly. "I believed you would bring him back!"

"You have him back now, don't you?" Beryl pointed out. “Killing me in vengeance won't do anything to help secure his safety in this life."

"You are a danger to him, and I won't have you disturb us," Kunzite tried to order, but his voice was so hard and tight that he feared it would snap. "I won't risk you hurting him in this life."

At this, Beryl finally barked out a laugh of bitter, incredulous disbelief.

"Kunzite, let me make this clear to you. I'm pushing forty, single, as powerless as any of these morons underneath my roof. You think I would risk whatever scrap of peace I have left to endanger you? How foolish do you honestly think I would be?!" 

“I would see you as desperate, not foolish,” Kunzite retorted lowly. “And desperation drives us all to do dangerous things.”

At this, Beryl’s eyes narrowed. Seeing her mirth drop dead gave Kunzite a quiet sense of success, though it was short-lived.

"The only one who remains an immediate danger to Zoisite,” Beryl finally said coldly, “is you, Kunzite." 

Kunzite’s heart halted fast, and he froze. His lungs were like ice, unable to swallow or pump air to the stiffness in the rest of his limbs, or to protest otherwise. Beryl understood his silence as such.

"Unlike me, you’ve retained a position of considerable power," Beryl continued, almost a bit ironically. "So long as you wear that uniform, you will always put him at risk. Don't fool yourself into thinking I am his only threat, Kunzite. You share that responsibility just as much as I do."

As blood returned to his veins, the silence quickly flared and withered, its embers hanging like dusty air, uncomfortable and almost suffocating. Eventually Kunzite had to turn away, lest his boiling anger overtip into actions he would later regret. As he gripped the doorknob hard, it hardly registered that it trembled vaguely in his hand.

“I believed in you,” he said again, this time hardly louder than a breath. He was tired, exhausted; whatever vengeance he had experienced was now dwindling into a twisted, burnt coil of remorse and scorn. At who, he wasn’t sure. “I wasted two lives believing in you.”

Beryl’s tone was entirely unsympathetic.

“Then perhaps it’s time to believe in someone else,” she replied curtly.