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darkbetty · 1 year ago

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"look, I'm genuinely sorry that I've apparently had this exact same conversation with you once.... but can you repeat what you said?"

having a genuinely garbage memory might not be the worst part of living with ADHD, but it may be the most embarrassing

#My poor brother #So hates repeating himself

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dykedvonte · 2 months ago

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Curly's little blurb on his steam trading card just keeps reminding me he is a much more miserable person than people realize.

We don't get a lot of his thoughts, inner confliction that aren't bogged down by what Jimmy says or does. Even in the The Last One and Then Another, his dialogue is reflective, not the Curly before the crash but the result of everything. Parts of the him he was are there of course, but also disfigured and warped beyond recognition just like he is physically.

Curly really doesn't think much of himself and desires. He clearly chases fleeting moments of happiness. He doesn't really have prospects for himself, assumes in a similar way to Swansea, that if it should make it happy then he is happy. Though, he hasn't reached the point Swansea did to admit it doesn't. He neither sees the glass half full or empty, it's just water, something he needs and he'll take it from any perspective.

He wasn't running from anything but he's never really been going towards something either. He's listless. I've been using the term complacent to describe how he feels about his life and the closest people (really just Jimmy) in it, but now that word feels too neutral, too nice. Happier than Curly really was. There isn't just one word for it, he's unfulfilled, uncertain, uninspired. There are no active problems he faces and that's the issue, why should he be upset?

I believe he really is a person who doesn't know who he is or wants to be. He follows a structure. I don't think he's suicidal, but he clearly doesn't think about what makes him happy. He's numb. I suppose that is a better word than complacent, used to the feeling even if he hates it. It doesn't hurt so why stop it?

#like curly is very much does his job goes home takes care of self repeat i dont think hes like an asocial person but he doesn't take the tim #time to indulge in himself the way he thinks hes a bigger picture guy so as long as nothing is disrupted hes relatively okay even if its #slowly chipping away at him and making him feel hollow like he thought space was endless that he could never reach a point of feeling finis #he never had to predict what to do after the end and suddently he realizes there was no end to it because there cant be an end to nothing #hes accomplished so much objectively but hes done nothing with his life outside of his work like he mentions no hobbies other friends or an #thing of the sort he doesn't even feel like he can vent it cause what? hes complaining about how hard it is to get promoted to have securit #in a job you hate and a position that keeps weighing you down like I feel like if he explained himself at the party and didn't let Jimmy t #talk for him hed actually have made points the others would get cause even if they envied his position he still is justified in being unhap #not everything that you think would bring you happiness does or fulfills even a small part of that desire #idk hes a lot more fucked in the head but like towards himself than people realize like how he lets Jimmy treat him is indicitive of that i #mouthwashing #mouthwashing game #captain curly #curly mouthwashing

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ganondoodle · 7 months ago

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okay, bc i have seen this argument alot now (and it also seems to be the view point of aonuma himself..) is that "zelda cant do everything link does bc whats the point then"

and i take personal offense on that bc its a stupid argument (in. my. very. personal. opinion.- not judging people for liking it. its a ME thing)

whats the point? its that its her. its still a different character, different in story, background, personality, but i WANT to play zelda and she can do everything link does, why does she have to be so restricted and be bend over backwards to find some new way to make her 'useful' when link gets to do basically everything no questions asked (the only thing thats hers is like .. sealing power and sacrificial maiden, which i find a little underwhelming to say the least), if theres no point to it why are there always modders that model swap link with someone else, and in that case it has even less impact bc its an artificial model swap with no changes to the story (which can and should still be different when its the vanilla game with a different protagonist... its still a different character), clearly theres joy in just the model being a different one- and that isnt even to mention the story possibilities, since, again, its stil a different character

if we ever (never ... i know who we are talking about here) get to play as ganondorf i want to him to be just as versatile and active as link is, if we got a point and click adventure game for him instead bc 'whats the point' id be disappointed too- you can find any sort of excuse/explanation for zelda to be singled out but the fact remains it tracks with how female characters are often treated, and that hits a very sore spot for me

i guess i am unfortunately one of those annoying people that want to see female characters be treated exactly the same as male characters, possibly bc i am myself afab but identify as agender and have a deeply personal dislike for anything 'traditional' feminine bc i cannot and never will be able to truly live as myself in real life, it influences all of my work, my work is as just as much as my opinion on this, very personal

and in line with my point about modding, i see theres joy in just beign able to play as her even if its like this, i get that, i also get it for the creative aspect (though that mechanic worries me even more for the future bc it really seems to be the path now that -freedom = good, linear anything = bad-) it is a different idea and its not like i cant see that value- im not trying be "right" either, just bc i have that opinion doesnt mean i need everyone to agree, its a very personal thing, if you like it good for you! not for me though, and i think both of that is equally valid

i just personally wish she was allowed to be just like link, fight just like him but be different bc its still her and not him in the end- to be physically/playstyle like jsut like him, but you know ... as her, i dont think shed stop being zelda if she could wield a sword just like him

i dont really know how to get my point/feelings across, i dont want to step too much into personal stuff nor spam people with something that ultimately doesnt interest me alot, im just saddened by it really

(EDIT: bc i forgot to add this on here again; this isnt as much of a problem as it might sound like here, just the main topic i wanted to talk about; why im so uninterested in it is MAINLY bc i dont trust them to write anything interesting/care about lore anymore after totk, im always on the more pessimistic side that thinks its most likely worse than id hope and i know even the past games arent perfect or super interestingly written, but now its much more just a general distrust, together with everything like the price ... im just much less hopeful and cant get excited until i see more of it, like im waiting for the game to get out and reveal that its just as much of a mess and money i regret spending- kind of fear)

#ganondoodles talks #zelda #person that send an ask about this in just as i was writing this- this isnt about you- i promise you #its soemthing thats been stirring in my mind since yesterday #and seeing so many of those comments- and even aonuma himself say it #just strikes a very very personal sore spot #also to that one commenter on a different post-#no- wanting female characters being allowed to wield a sword is not “badass female character mysogyni” (idk how to spell that rn)#the hollywood badass female character thing is annoying but thats bc-#its a super model woman (bc shes ALLOWED TO BE FEMININE you KNOW) fight people in high heels- bc you can be feminie AND badass-#and then does a cringy one liner 'what you thoguht a FEMALE couldnt kick your teeth in'#which comes with alot more baggage of tropes and hollywood etc etc #i long for the 'women are jsut as capable as men' in a very agender way #why do you think i intentionally design alot of female characters non tradtionally feminie or masculine #again this is a very pseronal thing to me #BUT i do think it IS questionable that its her that isnt allowed to fight with a sword #like i dont think thats much of my personal dislike there- but a valid thing to point out no matter the explanations you can come up with #anyway- i dont hate it- but its not for me- i dont want to talk much about it #i hope you can excuse me not answering the asks i got related to this- id just repeat myself #(i guess i should be glad that its the top down one that gets her as the protagonist-)#(i dont think i want to live through seeing her be animated like the typically girly feminine butt wiggle in your face tehehe)#(the botw/totk cutscnes were enough of that for me PERSONALLY)#i dont know how many times i have to say its my very biased personally personal opinion and no a judging of others #to make it clear that no one has to agree with me and i dont want to be convinced of the other opinions of this

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wardensantoineandevka · 10 days ago

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I see there's posts floating around directly and blatantly arguing against mine (same wording) by completely misunderstanding what I said. I'm fucking BACK, babey. Should've bought some hay-scented fragrance while I was at Sephora today, because I am once again your strawman!

#yes Lucanis has been told what he's going to do with his life for his entire life and has not been able to make a lot of choices for himself #this has no bearing on how he has no moral issue with killing people for money #which is what I was saying: he has no moral issue with killing people for money and some of you are clearly uncomfortable with that #because you're bending over backward to insist that he does actually deep inside have an issue with being a contract killer #when it is INCREDIBLY clear and he discusses this multiple times that he does not have any issue with being paid to stab people to death #I can't even discuss other aspects of Lucanis because you're all so unwilling to accept the specific point I'm making #which is that the text makes it incredibly clear that Lucanis does not have any issue with being killer for hire #he has no issue with the “killing people as a profession that he engages in”#he flat out dismisses the idea that there is any moral issue to be had when Emmrich and Davrin ask him about it #you all want him to have a moral issue with the core premise of “killing people” because you struggle with the idea he does not have one #because you're all very convinced that if he chose for himself that he would choose to have an issue with murder #but he doesn't #when he engages in what you consider ��making it more palpable” to him it is actually not related to the murder at all #in fact the things he does extra isn't even un-Crow-like necessarily—it's just making things more complicated and less efficient #by avoiding doing things that are not part of the contract and thus aren't necessary to do even if it would make it easier #it is still not an issue with performing murders for money!#I know I'm repeating myself a lot here but people really are doing Olympic floor gymnastics routines to avoid what I'm trying to say #which is that the text is very clear Lucanis does not have a moral issue with the part of his job where he is hired to kill people #(also to that refutation asserting that Lucanis's “enjoyment” is derived from going after objectively bad people #how did you miss the part where Lucanis HATES it when people say that when THEY kill it's Noble And Good only)#(Also his contracts are not strictly Venatori. He has a specialty but he very much states he has non-Venatori and non-mage contracts)#DATV things #anyway I should write a follow-up post

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qcomicsy · 2 years ago

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Do I find Damian incredible annoying? Yes Will I fight every single motherfucker who resumes his entire character to violent and 'bad'? Also Yes.

#I don't know how many times I'm going to repeat myself but this is a goddamn child soldier getting repeatedly traumatize #in a family that has so many chaos that he always feels the need to prove himself in the terms he was taught #i didn't give a fuck what Damian does thats the responsibility of his father until he actually becomes responsible to his actions #and dc comics literally bought him out of nowhere just to shit on him and then repeatedly try to get rid of him for no fucking reason #Damian goin off as a way of getting Batman emotional damage it's actually very stupid dc you tried the same shit with jason in this last #ten years and not even then anybody liked #few things makes me more unreasonable piss off than batman letting his kids get away from him and then act like they don't need him #he did te same shit with dick but at least dick had the titans #this whole shit with Damian is making me read with my eyes while my hands are dialing the cps #Batman come get your fucking children your useless middle age man #bruce hate hours #damian wayne #damian al ghul #damian al ghul wayne

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bleakfortune · 4 months ago

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frank w such bad jealously of the casual intimacy between g and mikey that it boils into a horrible paranoia abt them fucking to the point of actual mental breakdowns first thing in the morning over like them talking over cereal or something

#he sees the most mundane shit as obscene acts of love and devotion (they are actually. but still.) and gerard never does any of that with #with him so gs secretly a horrible person. obviously.#half the time he feels like a crazy asshole and hates himself 4 even considering it (but still anguishes over it) and the other he gets #drunk and screams at mikey and punches things. trashes the bus sometimes makes a huge scene and gets really accusatory w it #works himself up Bad and cries so hard he passes out in the middle of the floor. wakes up alone w everyone avoiding him as much as possible #they dont talk abt it and everyone awkwardly tolerates him / pretends to over a month or so. then he freaks out again and repeat #frerard #im drawing something w frank in it so im thinking abt him again. mostly being awful to himself/others <3

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ccbatman · 7 months ago

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actually so evil how much of hal's internal world gets obliterated with the rewriting of his relationships with jessica and martin.

#hal jordan #empyrean posting #ok going in the tags because im not actually v confident in my understanding of his character. i read all of his 80s/90s stuff but forgot #90% of it but ANYWAY.#so much of him just does not make sense with how geoff johns characterises him and his relationships with his parents particularly the #parallax stuff simply because of how much his relationship with the guardians and their apathy/'betrayal' is influenced by hal's original #relationship with his dad. like at its heart it's pretty much the same dynamic in how hal blindly trusts and sort of idolises the guardians #despite their repeated infractions in hope of... something in return just as he had with his father and the abuse he suffered at martin's #hands. that's what makes his anger at the guardians make sense when it does show itself because the relationship parallel didn't stop there.#as with martin hal gets nothing for his devotion. he gets nothing for doing everything that's asked of him and more and it ends the same way #too: with a man in the sky burning like a newborn star. and you lose so much of that nuance and intrigue behind that if you just make #jessica the 'bad one' because!!! you cheapen it!!!!#the whole idea of hal is that he has his father's face but his mother's scars #(to me). in the sense that they both reacted to martin the same way with that cognisance of who he was as a man yet inability to pull away #because... love. both the love they had for him and the conviction that he did or could love them too. and jessica arguably did eventually #but also she didnt did she? because she held onto that notion of love till the very end. the few scraps she had she ballooned outwards until #they became the whole. but hal didnt have even that and he spent his whole life chasing it & running away from wanting it at the same time #like i think there's something so interesting to the fact that he had to be convinced that flying was what he wanted to do. how much of that #was touched by his father? the fear that he was already too much like him than he could bear to be? he already had his face now he had his #dreams and longing for the sky. how much more could he have before he began repeating the cycle?#and at the end he even had his father's death. burning in the clouds. like there's so much there and that's not even touching on how it #impacts his relationships with other heroes. not just in the sense of why did kyle clark and diana get to keep their close yet complex #relationships with their moms when hal had to lose his (although yeah why did they) but also just how he lets himself come across to them.#because it's on purpose right? that he lets them think his reflection of his father is born out of unadulterated love for a man worthy of it #? he has his father's job he wears his father's jacket he smiles his father's smile. what else are they supposed to think.#and isnt that interesting!!! that this man who is so committed to being good & just can lie so casually to people he thinks of as friends!!!#can you see how that might be his mother through and through!!! in how she might have glossed over the abuse to other people and herself!!!#can you see how in spite of it all he might want to be perceived as his father that paragon of masculinity and resent that he is not!!!#do you understand how everything he loves has been poisoned!!! im thinking of that scene where he tells bruce about watching martin die &#wouldnt it have been so much more interesting through this lens. how he is both revealing & obfuscating at once. i hate the change sm

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theprincessandthepie · 3 months ago

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replaying dragon age inquisition is just an exercise in “the rebel mages would not fucking do that”

#da #my posts #specifically the hostile ones hanging out in the hinterlands for no good reason.#at least they gave the crazy hostile templars a motivation. a really weak one but still. At least they have a goal.#‘kill at mages. don’t gaf about anyone else’ ok. fine.#‘kill everyone you see for some reason. we need to steal their belongings I guess????’ insane. what the hell.#the could have at least done some blood magic about it. it would have been a boring repeat of da2 themes but at least there would be themes?#it’s just so STUPID. especially coming off of a fresh da2 playthrough.#like there’s some dumb stuff in da2 to give you an excuse to fight both mages and templars as generic npcs don’t get me wrong.#but not this much. and unlike da2 you and your companions comment on it as if it makes any sort of sense lol #also I hate that they decided that the chantry explosion killed a bunch of people (which is not supported at all by either the environments #or dialogue of da2 btw. the game is mainly concerned about anders murdering elthina not randos lol)#but that will come in later.#anyway. every note I find in the game from the mages is so insane. just found the area where the templars burned down a house with mages #locked inside. but because both sides have to be bad for dai plot reasons #the mages killed the peasants that lived in the house for damn reason lmao. AFTER robbing them on the road earlier.#insane choices from the writing team on this one.#what were you trying to SAYYYY #like I’m ok with the mages being a bit brutal. that happens in war. but there’s like. reasons? usually?#like as much as orsino turning himself into a flesh beast is insane and weird both-sides-ism plot device.#at least they tried to give him a reason (even if it didn’t make sense in the context of hawke and co absolutely destroying the templars he #was so convinced were going to kill them all)#the hinterlands mages genuinely have no reason to attack random passersby.#ESPECIALLY SINCE IM PLAYING A MAGE.#like?????? hello I am one of you. how the hell do you even know I’m not one of the rebels.#sorry anyway I’m upsetti spaghetti.

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shivunin · 1 year ago

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Hi, I just wondered what your favourite part of the Fenhawke romance was? Like, a scene/moment that really made you fall more in love with him? I love your writing so much!!

Oh, that is very kind of you to say! 💗I'm glad you enjoy the things I've written. I've really been enjoying writing for this ship, especially the past few months c:

As for your question...

Man, that's tough. I have a hard time picking one thing---I mean, *gestures to all the fic* you know? But I can narrow it down to a couple of scenes/elements:

The fact that a romanced Fenris still calls you "my friend" even after the act 2 romance scene. This is just...the bedrock of their relationship to me. Yes, that night went very poorly (understatement, I know), but at the core they are friends and he trusts Hawke in a way he's likely never had the cause or opportunity to trust someone before. I believe he never stopped loving Hawke, and it was a matter of laying those feelings out and understanding them one at a time. Romantic love not replacing platonic love or eclipsing it, but building or twining together is just... *chef's kiss* that's the good stuff.

The moment during the romance conversation in Act 3 when you can see Fenris go from hoping (painfully hoping!) that there is still some way he and Hawke can be together to actually believing it will happen. There is a shift in his body language that I could watch (and...have) over and over.

The element of choice? This is not going to be coherent, but the fact that he is learning for the first time what it means to have options and preferences, and he spends a lot of time exploring and understanding himself...and after all of that, the thing he keeps coming back to is Hawke. I think it's gorgeous. A song with refrains of pain or fear and choruses of decision and hope. He's loyal to a fault, in many ways, but understanding how much of himself exists to share and then still choosing to share it is just...man. I said this wasn't going to be coherent lol, so there you are. "If there is a future to be had..." like he doubts its existence but he's willing to chance it for Hawke. Man.

But, honestly? I've played DA2 a lot of times and never romanced another character, even though I've played through multiple romance storylines in each of the other games. I can't shake the Fenris romance. Every time I open a new playthrough, I tell myself that this is the time I'm going to romance Isabela, and every time Fenris rips that dude's heart out and I just......alright, yeah. Okay. Here we go again.

#and okay yeah one more thing actually #when he is like 🥺 at hawke after he kills danarius and hawke says he isn't alone #i know people joke about it but it's about the capacity for immense violence and aching tenderness #the parallel of meeting him when he rips some guy's heart out and him being finally free to make a life for himself after the same #it's about the cycles. the repeating story #and now he is truly not hunted anymore and he can make some kind of home #could i pull this into a more coherent analysis? probably yes #but here it is nonetheless #i *do* love him actually. he is just so very himself. unbending and harsh as it is sometimes he is always himself #long post #da2 #fenris #ask response #goodness this wound up longer than i'd expected #thank you for giving me an excuse to ramble anon 💗#i hate that the tl;dr of it all is just 'fenris being fenris' but. i am a simple woman

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glacialswordsman · 4 months ago

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#☾⋆⁺₊⋆ ⸺ behind the scenes. ⊰ ooc ⊱#me thinking about everything with hsr yaya when he's a mourning actor #the loss of his mom and gallagher and misha and how he leaves penacony to grieve among the stars #how his songs have gone from something festive and cheery and fun to melancholic and grieving #how he sings and sings and sings until his voice goes raw and he loses it. only to repeat this whenever his voice recovers #but it's never the same as it used to be anymore due to how much he's damaged his vocal cords #how he fucking HATES the nameless & acheron. how he trusted lumine with his whole heart.#how he told her about his mother and her being a self-annihilator and the dream is basically her hospice.#only for him to lose her forever. how albedo reaches out to kaeya as a memokeeper. tries to be there for him while recording memories.#but yaya is just so jaded and numbed. he's tired. he's lost so much. he can't lose more if he keeps himself away.#he doesn't care if everything was for the greater good. what good *is* the greater good if he cannot keep someone for once.#and then i think about yaya and haitham. because holy shit ven has filled me with brainworms on their potential dynamic.#how haitham & yaya understand each other more than anyone else. how yaya is able to navigate convos with haitham just fine #and even finds him to be hilarious with his humor even if most people dont get it. dont get haitham.#how haitham can see yaya's masks and his different smiles. his different personas.#how haitham would know khaenriahn and would speak it with yaya and how much it devastates yaya in the best way.#how they send each other little gifts. how they sign off their letters to each other.#how they think of each other in their day-to-day lives #how *liberated* they both feel being near someone who understands them while also being afraid of being known #i just. im IN MY FEELINGS #IM GOING TO FUCKING SCREAM

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modeus-the-misanthrope · 7 months ago

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Gostoc: Why, why is it always me? What did I ever do to deserve this....*Dies*

Me: Cause your bitch ass doesn't turn back into a merchant after I ask you to open the gates. Even if I reload the area. *Picks up his bell bearing and spits on the spot he used to stand.*

#elden ring #I really hate that he just repeats himself instead of turning back into someone who sells me shit #oh and the part where he tries to kill you later on #but Patches also does that to me so I feel holding it against Gostoc would be unfair

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skunkes · 1 year ago

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