#Snapper Music

[ampd]

[2001.11.25] Cradle of Filth - Heavy Left-Handed & Candid

DVD, Abracadaver / Snapper Music - COF002DVD

Box illustration by JK Potter; Other illustration and design by John Coulthart; Photography by Fin Costello.

[estobrotvpodcast]

Friend of the pod, D-Truth the Professional's band is on the lineup of this music festival, and here in this network, we celebrate wins of the family.

More to come on this fest in 2024!

[moistvonlipwig]

🔥

kara danvers :)

ok well you and i have discussed this at length so this will not be new to you but imco (in my correct opinion) kara danvers [as portrayed by the cw's supergirl, not necessarily in other versions] is actually pretty lazy, and i would argue this is one of her most central and consistent character traits. and i don't just mean physically lazy, although i should note that per 3.17 "trinity" she canonically Hates Walking and doesn't understand why humans exercise. i mostly mean on an intellectual & moral level.

kara wants to be a reporter, but when she figures this out (because......a pretty lady told her she should do it? ig?), she does not apply to journalism school, or take online classes. instead she is handed a reporter job by her boss (who scrawled 'reporter' on her hilariously terrible resume when they met for reasons known only to her) and from then on proceeds to basically just do whatever she wants and get offended when more seasoned reporters who have gone to journalism school ask her to do basic functions of the job like Acquire Sources and Report On The Facts And Not Just Your Personal Opinions. at no point do we really see her ask her colleagues, even friendly ones like james, for advice or help; instead, advice is something that's imposed upon her by the wicked snapper, who dares to be unimpressed by her uneducated slay. throughout the show, on multiple occasions, the idea of actually Doing Her Job seems to offend her -- lena even calls her out for this explicitly in 3.02 "triggers," but she continues to display this behavior with andrea in s5 & s6. in the finale, when she is promoted to editor-in-chief in an act of blatant cronyism that truthfully should prompt the entire catco staff to quit in protest, it is not on her initiative, nor due to her efforts, nor is it because anything about the position has piqued her interest; it is, again, simply handed to her, and she just accepts.

additionally, we rarely see her express meaningful curiosity about, well, any subject, really -- we know she learned calculus young, but her interest in math and science seems nil; she is deeply naive about the u.s. justice system in s6 in a way that suggests she has never looked into it, though her own mother was a judge on krypton; and a lot of her interests seem very Basic (pizza, potstickers [? why girl.], nsync, the wizard of oz, harry potter), which to be clear is not inherently a sign of intellectual laziness or incuriosity, but it also does nothing to suggest that she is someone with a wide knowledge of food, literature, music, or film.

she also demonstrates what i would argue is a kind of moral laziness, though you could call it an offshoot of her intellectual laziness, in her general lack of real self-reflection about, like, any of her actions. although some of the other characters sometimes bring up how messed-up the DEO is (e.g. james in s1 with the gitmo comparison -- which, CRAZY line to put in your show and then never address, btw), kara herself does not question it (until the Wrong People take over, of course). her rhetoric in early s2 about daxamites suggests that she is quite comfortable believing sweeping generalizations she was taught as a child and has never really sat down to interrogate them, but while mon-el being.....pretty bad but i guess not as bad as his mom? yay? inspires her to stop being bigoted against daxamites specifically, we will later still hear her say that certain species tend to be peaceful or aggressive, etc., with no self-reflection. in 3.05 "damage," when morgan edge tries to make it seem like lena's lead dispersal device that kara activated poisoned children, kara does not take the opportunity to self-reflect on the choice she made and whether it was worth it; instead, her arc for the episode is reacting emotionally to her best buddy feeling guilty (about the thing kara also did. i cannot emphasize that part enough).

i would argue the conclusion she draws in 5.13, too, smacks of this moral laziness; she spends the episode looking for a magic shortcut to not having to feel bad anymore, and when she can't find one, she decides that actually, meh, there was never a perfect way for things to go down, so all that lying wasn't such a big deal and lena should just get over it. kara is dripping with a lot of guilt in 5A, but throughout both 5A and 5B there's very little actual, thoughtful self-reflection on what she did wrong and why, and that carries over into S6 when, after like ten episodes of lena (and also william ig) repeatedly trying to tell her not to play god, she decides in the very penultimate episode to solve her problems by eating the sun, and then when she decides against it partway through doing it, there's again very little self-reflection on her part of why the hell she thought that was a good thing to do. kara's morality, on the whole, seems largely based on (a) alex and (b) vibes, and not so much on any actual thought she's dedicated to the moral questions at hand.

and similarly to when kara is asked to Do Her Damn Job at her place of work -- when kara is challenged on her morality (like when lena challenges her on the kryptonite in s3, or on myriad in 5.17), she acts annoyed at the very idea of having to do the hard work of thinking about the morals she espouses as a superhero. and it doesn't read as someone who has thought very hard about her moral choices and is offended because she believes so strongly that she's right, because we never actually see her thinking hard about these moral choices she makes at all. it reads as someone who hasn't thought about it beyond a very cursory level and is frustrated that she's being asked to. because, again, she's just fundamentally kind of lazy.

and the thing is this might sound like i am dunking on her but actually i think this is a trait that is incredibly funny. my favorite portrayal of supergirl/kara danvers is the one from the children's cartoon dc super hero girls 2019, whose version of kara is ALSO lazy, on top of being an aggressive, quick-to-anger, rude, irresponsible, selfish brat. and she's hilarious in that show, she's one of my favorite characters. another favorite character of mine, also a children's cartoon character, is anne boonchuy from amphibia, whose entire character journey is about learning not to be physically, intellectually, or morally lazy and learning to [school principal voice] Apply Herself instead. it can be incredibly fun to watch characters be lazy and incurious and self-centered, whether they change for the better or not. but it is a bit strange that some people act like kara is this super disciplined person who loves working out and loves learning and reads widely and is curious about everything and self-reflects on her own decisions and how she affects others to the point of obsession. i wonder if part of it is 'femslash same-character syndrome,' where people slap other characters' traits from other popular femslash ships onto each other. because the character i just described is adora from she-ra. who a lot of people think is similar to kara. except no. she's not at all. as evidenced by this whole write-up ☝️ lol. they're just both blonde and for some reason (#blondephobia?) femslash fandoms wanna act like all blonde girlies are the same. but they are not. #wakeupamerica.....

[reyesstrand]

If you’re still doing them Maddie, I wish you would write a fic where TK cooks for Carlos for the first time 💖

The weight of a long shift—a week of them, all spilling into each other like dominos—digs into Carlos’ shoulders as he sighs and stretches his neck and thumbs the ridges of his house key before shoving it in the lock.

TK’s been texting him most of the day, just aimless, endearing tangents about a dream he had the night before and the cheesy medical procedurals available to him on streaming, along with a smiley selfie or two, and it’s kept him upright. Upright through the back-to-back domestic disturbances; the multi-vehicle pileups. Carlos didn’t want to bug him with talk of work when his boyfriend’s still on mandatory leave, but he thinks it’s been written on his face, lately, just how tired he is.

“Hey babe.”

Tired enough to not even register TK standing by the dining table, in a pair of dark jeans and t-shirt. His bandage pokes over the edge of his collar, and Carlos focuses on it like he always does; on how much is being held together with stitches and gauze, on how quickly a life—the most important life—could’ve been taken away. Carlos’ eyes drift up to his boyfriend’s face: the slight pinkness to his cheeks, the soft creases around his eyes.

“Hey,” Carlos says, stepping in close and accepting the hug TK pulls him into. “I thought we were meeting up tomorrow night.”

TK’s gaze is warm when he pulls back from the hug and instead cups Carlos’ face. “We still are. I just wanted to check in on you tonight.”

“I’m fine,” Carlos insists, reaching up to gently squeeze at TK’s wrists, sparing an extra second to feel the thrum of his pulse under his thumbs.

“Baby, you’re running on fumes.”

Carlos bites the inside of his cheek, allowing himself to absorb the pet name TK’s been using more and more; allowing himself to wonder what exactly gave himself away to his boyfriend.

“I thought you could use a night in,” TK continues, lacing their fingers together now so he can tug Carlos further into the house; into the kitchen, which he is just now noticing has been used. “The market didn’t have red snapper,” TK pauses, his eyes flashing with mischief as their gazes lock, “but the guy told me the salmon was super fresh. It needs like, two more minutes in the oven and then we can eat.”

Carlos takes it all in: the mixing bowl full of a salad, complete with roasted nuts and segments of citrus; the smell of garlic and onion; the candlelight filling the room. TK gives him a nervous little smile as he gently moves around him in the small space when the timer goes off, filling their plates with fluffy, herbed rice and filets topped with lemon slices.

“Let me help you,” Carlos says, finally finding his voice after watching his boyfriend in quiet wonder.

“I can handle two plates, babe,” TK teases, jerking his chin toward the dressed table. “Go sit. Let me take care of you for once, Reyes.”

He listens to TK and sits in his usual chair, imagining his boyfriend in his home, humming along to music blasting from his phone as he diced vegetables and prepped dozens of ingredients so it could all come together in time. It’s a sight he hopes to come home to forever. It’s a sight he hopes to witness; to be a part of, next time.

Once they’re across from each other, Carlos’ stomach growls. He’d barely had time for a protein bar in the first half of his shift. He brings a forkful to his mouth and hums happily as flavour bursts over his tongue.

“I didn’t know you could cook like this,” Carlos admits, as the side of his fork glides through the fish.

“Well, you’re always so particular about your recipes,” TK jokes, before shrugging his good shoulder. He reaches across the table and squeezes Carlos’ hand. “I want to do this for you more. I want to do this together.”

“I’d love that,” Carlos smiles, thumb stroking over TK’s knuckles. Suddenly not wanting to hold it in anymore, and feeling brave in the golden light of their moment together, Carlos says: “I love you.”

TK beams. There’s something like wonder in his eyes when he replies, “I love you too.”

It feels like a mortal failing to not kiss him in this moment, and so Carlos does; pushing his chair back and leaning over at the waist to cup TK’s jaw in his palm and press their mouths together. Their lips move in an easy slide, and TK tastes of citrus, of something distinctly himself.

It’s kind of like coming home. And Carlos never wants it to fade away.

(i wish you would write a fic where…game!)

[flightrising]

Autumn, our heart says autumn. We're ready for autumn.

Audio: Autumn Chill Mood LoFi HipHop by ComatSounds

DRAGON INFORMATION

Pumpkin Dragon: A Fathom in Golden Harvest set, Chrysocolla/Malachite/Scales

Apple Dragon: An Imperial in Rose Harvest set with a Scarlet Unicorn Mane, Iridescent/Shimmer/Stained

Cinnamon Dragon: A Wildclaw in Sangria Harvest set with a Sunrise Unicorn Mane, Cinder/Blaze/Filigree

Blackberry Dragon: A Snapper in Viridescent Harvest set with Starlight Unicorn Mane, Boulder/Myrid/Flecks

Berry Dragon: A Skydancer in Dark Harvest set with Flaxen Unicorn Mane, Fern/Paisley/Underbelly

Ginger Dragon: A Ridgeback in Viridescent Harvest set, Fade/Blend/Wish

Caramel Dragon: A Guardian in Autumn Harvest set, Flaunt/Flair/Glimmer

Latte Dragon: A Fathom in Copper Harvest set, Fern/Myrid/Points

[Video Description] A vertical video that opens with a black screen. As the autumn themed lofi hiphop music fades in, a gentle string with an organ playing under it, gold text begins appearing via a retro typing effect and the text reads The Calendar says August but our heart says and holds for a moment. Then the beat drops, giving the string and organ melodies an uptempo vibe and the video transitions to a triple pumpkin Fathom dragon, followed by the following in a reasonably rapid succession: a triple red Imperial representing apples, a triple Cinnamon Wildclaw, a triple Blackberry Snapper, a triple Berry Skydancer, a triple Ginger Ridgeback, a triple Caramel Guardian, and finally a triple Latte Fathom dragon. All of the dragons are wearing different colors of the Harvest set apparel, which includes a robe, filigree metal jewelry that appears as grapevines, and hanging grapes and leaves on the headpieces and wingpieces. Apple, Cinnamon, Berry, and Blackberry also have long color coordinated braided manes. For each dragon, the following words appear in the same retro type effect, but with the matching Flight Rising color wheel color of the autumn spice or scent the dragon is representing: Pumpkin, Apple, Cinnamon, Blackberry, Berry, Ginger, Caramel, and Latte. The video then fades to the Flight Rising logo and remains there as the music fades out.

[st4rsinthenight]

★random rise!raphael headcanons, for it's his birthday★

— | !! | content / trigger warning: mentions of bandages, mention of wounds, mention / implication of unintentional self harm (??)

— |★| I can easily see Raphael being aroace, or at least cupio—romantic. Though he does get flustered quite often and such, I can't really see him returning, or having romantic feelings for anyone. It's all platonic baby /pos. As for his gender, I can honestly see him identifying as cisgender— and as for the pronouns.. he would be quite flexible with them. Though he would use he/him as his main set of pronouns, I feel like he would let others refer to him however they'd feel comfortable with.

— |★| He likes wrapping bandages tightly around his body, even if he doesn't need to have them on, as he does enjoy the pressure that they provide to him. It makes him feel safe.

— |★| Has a strange habit of collecting bandages and bandaids, either used or not. I have this weird thought that he would not wanna throw them away, as they did help heal his wounds and it would seem ungrateful if he just tossed them away. So yeah, he has a 'bandage' drawer, of some sorts.

— |★| He also let's mikey draw on his bandages. He likes how pretty they look and it gives him another reason to collect them even when they are worn out and old.

— |★| I think that's it's pretty safe to assume that Raph has object empathy of some kind. This is based on the fact that Raph has an attachment for his plushies, as well as referring to lace face- and the tire that he stole from the turtle-tank to use as a tube in 'Man Vs Sewer', as his 'emotional crutches'.

— |★| Raph sometimes jabs his fingers with his snaggle tooth as a form of stimming. He enjoys, and is a bit amazed by how sharp his teeth can actually be.

— |★| Another form of stimming that I can see him have is him clasping his fist against his palm, as if getting ready to jump into battle, but no. It would be more of a happy stim if anything, and the faster the pace gets, and the rougher the clasps are, the happier the snapper is.

— |★| And when Raph is nervous, he either begins talking to himself at an alarmingly fast pace, or he'll just shutdown and snap his teeth at random out of frustration.

— |★| Raph definitely listens to loud music and works out when stressed out or angry, it's one of the more healthy ways for him to defuse- to just smashing and bashing stuff or trying to fight / hit himself.

— |★| He has a snack-stash somewhere in his room, as he is a large turtle with a large appetite. Though there are times where he'll just forget about the food in his room, and when he'll finally remember about the stash, he'll just eat all of it in one day as to not let anything go to waste.

— |★| He also has a snack-stash for his brothers and April in case they want to hang out in his room.

— |★| He sometimes feels a bit self-conscious about not having colourful markings as his younger brothers do, and that went noticed by Mikey; who painted the rims of his spikes with red paint, and Raph actually got emotional /pos.

— |★| He has a tendency to forget how spiky his shell is, so when he goes to scratch it, he jabs his fingers with it's spikes by accident instead.

[storiesaplenty]

Jelly Bracelets (7)

Eddie Munson x f/Reader

Jelly Bracelets Masterlist

This has not been proofread. Please enjoy, though.

Warnings: swearing. Playing with boobs. Mentions sex, but nothing detailed.

Gifs & photos do not belong to me: 1st gif: @dixiedarky

WC: 753

©️ storiesaplenty 2024: Do not repost or translate my work. This is the only place I post my work.

Glittery Clear - wearer will let the snapper "feel up" or touch any body part

Eddie Munson may be the freak of Hawkins, but he is your best friend. Who is always willing to teach you new things, even when you get new bracelets from your cousin. Eddie will even go as far as teaching & showing you what each one means.

I am over at Eddie's place, helping him do his laundry.

He always puts it off go the very last minute, and right now he is wearing his uncle's clothes.

"You shouldn't put it off this long." I told him, as I hung up his jeans to try.

I may take his clothes back to my place and throw them in the dryer with my clothes.

"Thanks mom." He said sarcastically to me.

Just as we were about done, some dark clouds were gathering in the sky, making Eddie moan.

"Let's go to my place and dry this stuff. I have a load I have to put in the dryer."

Him and I quickly took everything down, and placing it back in the laundry basket just as the heavens opened up and it started to rain once more.

We got to my car, him throwing his clothes in the backseat as I started up the car.

He got in, joining me for the car ride back to my place.

The radio was playing, and I could tell he was upset about the music.

"You can change the station."

"Pfft, like any station around here will be playing my type of music. You know, the devil's music."

He made me laugh when he did the horn thing against the sides of his head and stick his tongue out.

"Hopefully I can save up and get a car with a tape player."

"Nah, your car is fine. Better than my van."

"That's because you need to get it serviced once in a blue moon."

Out of the corner of my eye I saw him just mouth 'yeah yeah.' and then look out the window, silence once more.

◆

I put our clothes in the dryer, and found Eddid in my room, not where I left him mind you.

I left him channel surfing in the living room, but right now, I found him at my dresser, with the top drawer open.

"Being a pervert again, Mr Munson?" I asked him as I leaned against my doorframe.

"Oh very much so." He turned around to face me, and my eyes widened when I saw what was in his hands.

It was the same bra I was wearing when I flashed him the other day.

"Okay, enough playing with my stuff, put it back Eddie." I tried to snatch the bra from his hand, but he took a step back.

"So which one are you wearing now?" He asked me, his eyes zoned in my chest."

"None of your concern. Give it back." I demanded.

"Come on, show me or better yet," He didn't even finish what he was saying as he snapped the glitter clear one, which I already knew what that one meant.

"Really Eddie? You want to feel me up?"

He gave me a small smile and shrugged.

"Fine." I closed the door behind me, not wanting to be interrupted by Steve or Robin when they come back home from work.

I took off my shirt, kind of embarrassed about what bra I am wearing right now.

It isn't one of my nice ones, and I was sure no one was going to be seeing it today.

Eddie's hands were on my shoulders, massaging them for a minute, and then his hands slowly slid down until they were cupping my breasts over my bra.

He wasn't squeezing hard, just enough for me to feel it, and all I wanted to do was moan, but I held that in.

"Can you take," I didn't let him finish as I reached up behind me and unclipped my bra.

He pulled his hands back just a bit to let the bra fall, which I tossed to the side on my bed.

The moment his hands made contact with my bare breasts, I gasped.

Eddie looked at me, his brown eyes wide as he heard me.

His hands squeezed them a bit, and closed my eyes, soft little pants falling from my lips.

"Who knew they were so sensitive." Eddie said to me.

I opened my eyes to watch him play with my tits.

I could feel myself getting wet, my pussy clenching around nothing and I wanted nothing more than to push Eddie on his back and ride him.

I have no idea how long he felt me up for, but he was the one who pulled away first, standing up and clearing his throat.

"I gotta go."

And he was out the door.

What hell just happened?

White (6) ♥︎ Glittery Pink (8)

[lozchi]

Hello friend! Can I request Taehoon with a reader who loves to dance? (Not professionally but they’ll do it while they’re cooking or cleaning or something like that.) And one day Taehoon hears a song that reminds him of the reader and starts to do some of their moves. No pressure! I hope you have a great one!😁

DiscorDANCE

A/N: Goodness, I love the idea. My self-shipping ass actually thought of this at some point. Sorry that this took so long! I've been pretty busy in life and I only finished reading Viral Hit today. @ryusuisloveinterest  Pairing: Taehoon Seong x GN!Reader Themes: Fluff, petnames, Taehoon being a wuss

Taehoon finds it cute, really. It wasn't just that he found it cute; it was more like an electrifying sensation that coursed through his veins. Maybe it's just the way he's captivated by your movements, or perhaps it's just the way how your face lights up as you'd dance as if nobody were watching.

But honestly, the music choice could be better. Who in their right fucking mind listens to "phonk"? " It was as though someone had taken a blender to a cacophony of dissonant noises, mixed it with Snapper and Hobin’s yelling and called it music.

"Ughhhh- Make it stop."

Taehoon groans, rolling his eyes in discontentment.

"Nuh-uh. I ain't gonna."

As the pulsating bass throbs through the air, you find yourself swaying to the rhythm, your body moving confidently despite the mediocre music assaulting both of your ears. With each step, you defy the ear-bleeding tunes. Your eyes sparkle with an infectious joy as you twirl and spin, lost in a world where only your happiness matters.

The bass may be shit, but your energy soars above it, overshadowing the limitations of the melody. In your dance, there's a magic that makes Taehoon forget about the shitty song; Turning the ordinary into something extraordinary.

Fuck. You’ve got Taehoon smiling like an idiot. When he notices it, he quickly wipes it off, but it's not too late for you to catch his affectionate gaze.

”The fuck ya want?”

He scowls, only for you to return a smirk.

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

Dashing around the house, frantically searching through your drawers for something to wear, you disturb a very peaceful Taehoon (a rare sight, wow) engaged in a phone call with his dad. He might have overlooked your antics if he hadn't noticed you making a beeline for the door.

“Babe, I’m off to Rumi’s for a bit. Don’t forget to give Tiger his medication!”

Peppering kisses all over his face, he lets out a resigned sigh.

”At this hour? I don’t think so. Shouldn’t you be sleeping?”

It's not as if Taehoon is in any position to lecture. His sleeping schedule is even more fucked up than yours. Yeah, he admits to himself that it may be hypocritical to tell you not to go out so late and possibly cause danger to yourself when he does it too. Which is why, without uttering a word, you lock eyes with him, and he relents.

”Just get back safely or call me, alright?”

And the master negotiator (without negotiating) wins again.

”Mhm, I’ll be back”

Before you leave, Taehoon kisses back (followed by a flick on the forehead, because he’s the bitchiest of all bitches). He could’ve sworn he heard Hansu chuckling through the other side of the phone. This old man can only gush about this very moment.

-

Tranquility, at last. No jarring phonk music assaulting his poor fucking ears, no impromptu silly dances disrupting the peace. But amidst this newfound calm, Taehoon finds himself missing it all. (It’s only been a minute-) Now he actually doesn’t mind the music you play. He could be calling Hobin to come over, play some video games, talk to his dad again but he’s probably too embarrassed to hear his father bring up how soft he was earlier.

”Come here, you lil’ rascal. It’s time for your meds”

He calls out to your cat, who dutifully obeys, padding over to Taehoon's side.

And it wasn’t long before Taehoon finds himself listening to your carefully curated phonk playlist on Spotify. The beats pulse through his earphones, he pictures you leaping around the room, your laughter filling the space as you lose yourself in the music's infectious energy. And suddenly, the absence of your hijinks feels like a void he hadn't realized was there.

”How does Y/N go about it again? Like this?”

Taehoon mutters to himself, attempting to mimic your dance moves.

If only your cat could talk, it would regale you with TEA of Taehoon's comical attempts to imitate your silly movements. Despite his status as a taekwondo prodigy, his body just doesn't seem to move in the same fluid way as yours. It's a sight to behold, watching him stumble and flail around the room, his efforts more resembling a worm sprinkled with salt than a seasoned dancer.

He hisses, now cringing to himself and glad you aren’t around to see how shit-

With a sheepish grin, you approach the door, your keys conspicuously absent from your hand.

”Gah, how could I forget my phone out of all things?! I hope Taehoon’s asleep by now, otherwise I’d have to deal with his bickering, and- Taehoooon?”

As you reach for the handle, you're met with an unexpected sight: Taehoon, in all his clumsy glory, attempting to replicate your dance moves with a level of finesse that could only be described as the equivalent of the Hobin Yoo Company's chaos. Caught off guard by the scene unfolding before you, you can't help but burst into laughter, momentarily forgetting the reason you needed to enter the room in the first place.

”Is this what you do when I’m not around?”

And then, just when you think it couldn't get any cringier, he manages to stub his toe on the corner of the coffee table.

”FU-”

Taehoon clears his throat, his cheeks flushing with embarrassment in your presence, a rare occurrence for someone usually so composed. But his embarrassment is momentarily overshadowed by his curiosity as to why you've returned so quickly.

"Anyway, why are you here already? Not that I don’t mind, but—"

You bashfully avert your gaze to the ground, a nervous chuckle escaping your lips.

"I forgot my phone…"

"Tsk! Do you really have to be this irresponsible sometimes?!? What could’ve happened if you didn’t get in contact with me?"

Taehoon pulls you into a tight hug, his worry palpable in the embrace. But amidst his concerns, you can't help but sense his underlying desire to distract you from the awkwardness of his recent dance attempt.

A part of you acknowledges his genuine concern, but another part recognizes this as one of his subtle ways to divert your attention from the potential blackmail material you just witnessed. Despite his attempt to shift the focus, his affectionate (but tsundere) nature somehow manages to shine through.

”Taehoon?”

”Hm?”

”Why were you-”

”We don’t talk about that.”

”But-”

”Shush, or I won’t let you go back to Rumi’s.”

”Meow~”

[starcatcher-psywurm]

I had a Flight Rising dream that was actually kind cool:

Staff has made a flight rising movie, it was all traditional 2d cell animation. The main character was a dragon named Cervitae who was a breed from fire who looked like a mixture of Snappers and Bogsneaks, he had his sibling on a leash attached to his giant neck collar and he and his sister were scrap buyers at the great forge.

They were talking about business and then this ridgeback comes in full cloaked, same collar on and they randomly started fighting, because Cervitae was a "dragon rider" which meant he was a child of the Flamecaller herself and that ridgeback wanted to stop the dragon riders from coming together.

After that it kinda cut to this musical number with the dragon rider from water who was a fathom singing about how while other dragons have the earth and sky they have the sea, she was generally warning him about how he has to be careful, because the ocean is a lot more dangerous to dragons that aren't aligned with it. Then I woke up, but here's an approximation of how Cervitae looked.

Huge head, super stocky, small wings, walked like a monitor lizard. And yeah his name is Cervitae, it was put in writing in my dream, so I think my dream brain misspelled Cervidae. I wish I could replicate 2d cell style animation, because man some of the scenes in that dream were so cool like the great forge and the cities under water.

[irishteagoblin]

I've finally got the opportunity to learn to play the pipe organ. It's a really fun instrument, they're kinda like the feral temperamental twinks of the instrument kingdom instead of 'king of the instruments'.

Of course, I love Bach, but now that I'm able to see the sheet music for some of his scores - what the FUCK is that pedal line man.

It's a common theme for Bach's pedal compositions to be either wonderful and simple; adds nice accompaniment to the main melody(s).

Then you get these ankle snappers.

I love you Bach, but also, be gentle with the beginners dude.

The pipe organ truly is my favourite species of instrument.

[themulitipurposechannel]

Fic: This is victory (hollow and cold).

inspired by @goodlucktai and their incredible story “Raised on little light”

Part: Two

Tw: major character death, grief, suicide idealisation, disassociation, starvation, slight description of injuries and inaccurate medical advice

This is hope.

_

The air is much chillier today. Once upon a time, that would be the herald of their highly anticipated snow day. Emojis will flood the family groupchat, plans will be made, schedules will be cleared, homework conspicuously forgotten. But that was then. This is now.

Leo's memorial hangs above them like a haunting guillotine. It would be better if he actually was haunting this place. Anything is better than this.

"Hi" Mikey smiles weakly, trying to play off his squeak of suprise into faux causalness. "I saved you lunch."

Raph nods. "Thanks" he pokes at the reheated chicken curry and rice in silence. It's good. It always is. But it feels like ash most days.

"So how was patrol? You're not usually back this early." Mikey bless his soul. He's trying so hard.

It hurts as much as it warms the snapper's heart. His littlest brother, trying so hard to scrap together just a little more light for all of them, like he wasn’t crying himself to sleep every night, the ‘if I was just a little faster’ eating him up alive.

(Dead in the middle of the night, the snapping alligator turtle returns back from patrol and freezes just outside a colourful subway car. Soft shaking sobs, creep out from just beyond the unlit car.

Raph wants nothing more than to walk in, scoop his little brother into his arms and never let anything hurt him ever again. But the memory of pink tendrils and ‘if this is the end I want to let you know that I’m sorry’ hold him in place. Raph is not safe.

So shamefully, cowardly, like every night before this, the eldest brother turns and walks away.)

Michelangelo deserves better than this.

But Raphael is not safe.

"It was fine just... loud. You know how humans are" The snapper shrugs half-heartedly, sitting across the table from the box turtle. It was more than that. Cheerful music, parading crowd. Raph gets it, he does. By all accounts it's a good thing. A victory over the failed invasion. Humanity won, Yokai-kind won too. And knowing of it or not, the whole of earth won as well.

They have no idea what bled for them that day. What still bleeds for them to this day. Raph tries to stomach it till he couldn't no more. Grief festering in his chest till he punched a hole through an old construction site. That, was when he knew he had to head home to their dojo before he did something he regrets. Which actually... is something he should get back too. He still too angry.. he's not. Raph's not safe.

"Hah.. New York what a town right?" Mikey nudges him shyly, blind to the danger present. Raph flinches, jerking away. Raph's not safe.

"Mikey! Careful-!" The red snapper snaps immediately deflating in muted horror at the younger turtle’s grimace. What is he doing? He’s scaring him! “I-geez, sorry. sorry.” The floor is suddenly much more interesting to look at now. “Raph was just thinking of going to the dojo” The snapper sags.

"Oh okay.. I see” Mikey’s smile wobbles, at the corner of his eye, Raph can see it. “That’s.. that’s ok, big bro. have fun." His voice is pitched just a tiny bit too high. Raph doesn’t need to look at Mikey directly, years of growing up togather tell him the box turtle is barely choking back tears.

It's another stab at his already leaking heart, his baby brother always so loud with his emotions has no right being this subdued. You already leave him to cry alone. Mind Raph reminds him, firm but not cruel. Raph would really prefer it if he was. He wants you to stay. You can at least do this much.

"Actually, the dojo can wait. You got lots on your plate right?" Raph quickly pivots, motioning to the half filled sink."Raph will help you clean up" The older teen picks up his plate and starts towards the sink, still keeping a wide berth between them.

The result is instantaneous. The sun breaks through the stormy clouds. Mikey looks like he can damn near combust from how widely he is grinning, trying and failing to hide the not so subtle flutter of his hands in a happy stim.

It makes the snapper’s heart want to burst. Once, a long time ago this would be the time Raph would sweep his baby brother, sunshine personified, into a big crushing hug, a playful noogie included. But that was then. This is now.

Instead slowly, carefully, Raph reaches out and briefly pats Mikey’s head. Proud of himself for barely shaking this time. It’s such a small thing, it used to be so easy. Still Mikey gratefully drinks it all in, like a cactus to water in a desert.

“So you draw anything new?” Raph tries to ask. Immediately grimacing at the awkwardness of it all. Talking used to be so easy. What happened to them?

Luckily Mikey seems to take it in stride. Happy to talk and talk and talk about the new charcoal medium he was trying, the weird Lou jitsu memorabilia he found while cleaning (Since when did Mikey clean?? Willingly??) under the couch and the one or two grocery’s hauls done by April. No mention of Mikey begging April let him go topside with her. No mention of any junkyard trips with Donnie(not that Raph was surprised). No trips outside. No detours. Nothing.

Since when did that happen too? Distinctly Raph can remember many a time spent furiously wrangling a tiny little brother over the phone for him to come home. Because it’s getting late, the sun is coming up, Big man that alley isn’t going to run away, you can come back later please-

His little brother, for all his box turtle homing instincts, loved to explore, weather it be to discover small family shops in the hidden city or find a new spot for graffiti topside. Discovering new things was his thing, it’s what made Michelangelo, Michelangelo. Then again how much did the snapper really know of his brothers nowadays huh? He pushes that thought aside before he can dwell on it any further not wanting to sour this rare lightness.

“…And then I spent the rest of the day trying get rid of those annoying cobwebs!” Mikey shakes his head. “Dad was right we really need to clean our rafters more!” The box turtles huffs as he places a now clean plate into their cabinet.

But the last time Raph remembered dad complaining, or the tell-tale swoosh of a lab door being opened was 14 months ago.

Pizza supreme, Raph blinks, swaying a little. That was why the box turtle drank in any and all touch Raph gave. This poor kid, oh god his poor baby brother, one of their most sociable and people loving family members, technically with Leo gone Mikey was the only one now.

All alone for months on end with the only indication that he wasn’t the only living soul in the lair, was the occasional bags of food that appeared by the lair’s entrance and the empty plates by Donnie’s lab and Pop’s room. Mikey must be so, so touch starved. How long has the box turtle been doing this? How did they let this get so bad? How did they not notice? What happened to us? The eldest brother mourns. If nothing else, he resolves to at least try to give his poor, touch starved brother one head pat every other day. He’s already failed Leo and Donnie, he can’t fail Mikey too.

Unbidden, Raph can’t help but remember a time just last week, where he had punched their punching bag clean off its chain. Only to return an hour later with a new one already in its place. At that time he assumed it was Donnie (with all his all seeing cameras and regular but eerily silent maintenance to all their appliances. No more loudly complaining over who broke their toaster) who replaced it but now-

Tap.Tap.Tap.

“Raphie..? Raphala?” Mikey smiles sweetly but hesitantly. Thankfully, the box turtle seemed to learn his lesson earlier. Instead of touching the older turtle like before, Mikey taps the countertop to get Raph’s attention. “Is everything ok?”

“Oh yeh;Raph’s good.” Raph shakes his head. “Was just thinking”

“Do you wanna talk about it?” Big doe eyes somehow get wider. Once upon a time that would have been enough to make Raph cave.

“Your uhm-hands are doing good.” Raph cringes, painfully adverting his gaze. Mikey scowls, with narrowed eyes that says ‘Boi you are not slick’. But the days of loud Dr Delicate touch, fearlessly climbing or latching on top of his brothers and pushing,and pushing, until they fess up are far behind them.

So instead, Mikey sighs and with a worn smile, he says. “You know you can always talk to me right Raph?”

“I.. I know.” Raph nods, beak quirking into crumpled facsimile of a smile, cuz gosh does he know. All those Dr feelings seminars. Raph shudders to himself. But this, something about their ‘this’ will always feel too much like a raw nerve or a live wire his other little brother was way too fond of playing with. Shit, he missed Donnie so much. How was it possible to miss someone who was still alive this much? Some days it really did feel like he lost two little brothers instead of one. One was already one too many.

With a shake of his head Raph forces himself back into his body. No need to space out twice now. He already promised himself he’ll try for Mikey. If Donnie, April and Dad weren’t going to be here. Raph would at least try, so that’s exactly what he was going to do.

“Same goes for you too, big man” The snapper gestures to the box turtle with his chin. And he means it he does.

Mikey hums, nodding. Resuming his task.

The sound dissolves into the quiet clinking of plates and sloshing water. Not quite uncomfortable but not quite comfortable either.

“Is your eye doing ok?” Mikey ask, trying to steer them to more comfortable waters.

“It’s fine.” Raph answers, happy to take the out. “More than fine. Doesn’t ache at all actually. Just numb and a little tingly.”

“Oh mi gosh! You too?”

Surprised, Raph snaps his head towards an equally wide eyed Mikey. It breaks his heart. His little brother used to be so much louder than this. Raph tries to smile encouragingly, prompting the orange turtle to continue.

“My hands still shake sometimes. But every time I think they’re going to start hurting they just don’t” The box turtle pouts . “Even Barry was surprised. He says it’s supposed to hurt. I just feel tingly and numb too”. His face scrunches briefly, disgruntled. “-makes it hard to know when I overdo it though.” To demonstrate, Mikey wiggles all 6 fingers in a loose jazz hands gesture. Smiling slightly.

A surprised laughs tears out from the older brothers beak; equal parts exasperated and fond. He doesn’t know what why, it wasn’t really that funny. But something about the silly gesture must have reached him somewhere. Because here he is, airy and softer but still,laughing.

Delighted, Mikey giggles back. Eyes wet. How long has it been since he last heard his brother laugh?

If only Leo was here.

If only this could last forever.

But Something suffocates the precious warmth instantly

Mikey's hold on the plate shatters. It drops to the ground breaking into a million pieces.

Speak of the ghosts and the ghosts will come.

(Deep Down, beneath them, inside of them, around them, where the space of RedPurpleOrangeGreenWhite swirl around each other so close yet so far. No longer able to bear the thought of intersection but unable bear the thought of tearing away from each other.

Nonono-

Something withers. something dies.

Like the chime of Blue saying ‘Hero moves are totally your style’

Before it winks out from existence, leaving a gaping hole behind. It doesn’t even bleed. It would have been better if it at least bled. Now its just empty-

No please we can’t go through this again-)

Frantically, head partially in his chest, the box turtle staggers, looking around fearfully, spots glowing orange in alarm.

"Where-?" Mikey starts.

For the first time in months, pure big brother instinct completely overrides his anxiety, Raph grabs for Mikey. Tucking him protectively under his shoulder protectively and races towards Donnie's lab. He'll be there. The softshell never left these days.

For the first time since they laid their Blue to rest. The sliding door to Pop's room bursts open.

"Boys! How-!?” Splinter yells rushing toward them.

"We're all fine! I don't know! " Mikey cries back, slightly giddy over the most physical contact he’s gotten in months, despite the current situation. Meanwhile Raph damn near breaks down the softshell’s door. His eye twitches. “Donnie! Donnie!! Open the door!”

For the first time in months, an achingly familiar voice answers back. “I’m okay! I know! I know! Sweet Galileo I’m trying to fix it!"

The door opens with a swoosh, releasing a gust stale air into their faces. A frazzled Donnie steps out. Eyebags galore and stench of old coffee stronger than Raph’s notorious fear stink. Raph bites down the urge to lecture the teen’s bed wrangled state.

The purple teen in question, is typing furiously on his computer wrist, while his phone is tucked between his shoulder and his face. April's voice can heard from its speaker. Yelling confusion.

(Wrong wrong wrong. The shared space of their already off kilter family mystic sways dangerously. It's quiet, too quiet. Large steady Red drapes over his remaining universe tightly, shielding orangepurplegreenwhite in a protective shield.

The colours mix. They reach for each other for the first time in months both inside and outside in shared confusion and terror.

Where?

What's going on?

We're all here.

So.. why?

But then just as quickly as it came. The ringing silence is gone. Their constellation is settles back into its uncertain balance, all is well.

Huh?

Wait. Resilient Green hushes them, listen. Tentatively, they reach out to where they hadn’t thought to do before.

Ba-dump Ba-dump Ba-dump

It's a heartbeat. One of them realises in dawning horror.

But who?

Who else can possibly be here with them that can throw them further off balance now?

An image of similarly decorated kneepads flashes in Orange's mind. He pushes that image to the rest.

Guys. Casey.

On que, the teal heartbeat flatlines.

Oh no.

Before it staggers to its feet. Irregular and slow.

Alien relief washes over them. It wrestles with well-worn distrust and bitterness.)

“We need to find future boy.” Pops states, voice raspy from a year of disuse and places a hand on Donnie’s arm. The sudden contact nearly startles the softshell into dropping his phone. Not that Raph can blame him. He can scarcely believe dad is here either. “He owes us some answers”

In the end, they decide to split up to cover more ground. Unsurprisingly, the future protoge found a way to disable Future Donnie’s comm line. Or at least found a way to undo whatever Donnie did to sync future boy’s comm to their comm system. So contacting him directly is not an option.

It takes two hours. One wild goose chase and trying so hard to listen a nigh invisible heartbeat. When April (what would they ever do without her) points out, “Hey didn’t future boy say they lived in caves?”

Before they focus their efforts solely to the underground. Mikey took the sewers, Raph in the underground maintainance tunnels and April and Splinter in the abandoned train stations while Donnie continued to search the city’s database for any more underground structures they could check.

It’s been 3 more hours since then and one more cliff-hanging flatline.

The snapper rubs at his unseeing eye, annoyed. If he knew it was going to start aching today he would have taken some pain meds.

A creaking noise grabs his attention.

Raph looks up, seeing a half loose ceiling panel swaying in the drafty tunnel. He can’t fit. Maybe April or Mikey can. But they’re halfway across the city’s underground sector. Do it scared, do it scared. It seems today was just full of pushing past his fear huh?

So standing on his tiptoes, Raph sticks his head up the hole, his breath hitches. The smell alone makes his eyes water.

There, nestled between the tunnel’s false ceiling and actual ceiling is his little brother's killer, the one locked the door on his Leo while there was a monster with his little brother on the other side, (nevermind the fact that Leo asked him too) surrounded by rotting rat carcasses and so much more impossibly thin and still, if it weren’t for the flagging teal he’d think the boy was already dead.

Raph doesn’t know if it’s because of the revelation of distant family or the boy’s pitiful state or because of his years spent as the eldest brother, the one who is the biggest, the one who takes care of them all. Oh he's too small, Raph can’t help but think.

This is their family Ninpo. It runs on love and trust: Even at the height of their ancestor's obession with martyrdom, there had been love and trust buried in there somewhere. The family mystic wouldn't have survived to their current generation otherwise.

But Casey’s is not buried in the ground. It is not the kind that martyrs their own at the first opportunity. Not even for good reason.

It wells a confused pity, soured by residual anger. future boy; all alone. Displaced in a timeline not his own and disowned by the only remnants of familiarity.

Gingerly, carefully and trying not to have a panic attack over the prospect of prolonged contact. Deep breaths. Just take deep breathes. You’re the only one who can do this. Breathe. You picked up Mikey, and he was fine. you can do it again. It’s just for a little while. Trembling down to a manageable level, Raph then lifts the unconscious human up and down through the rafter hole. The movement causes stained, loosely tied bandages to slip, and the stench goes from bad to downright horrendous.

The overpowering smell of sewer and pus nearly makes him drop the kid into dirty sewer water and gag. Which is saying something cuz Raph grew up in the sewers. The snapper is no medic, but pizza supreme, he knows humans aren’t supposed to be this warm nor is their flesh is supposed to leak yellow or swell such an angry red.

Holding the boy at arms length, Raph lifts his comms to his face. “I found future boy. Heading back to the lair now. He’s hurt bad.” If he sounds a little breathless no one points it out. He doesn’t stay long enough the rest of the group’s verbal assent. There are too many thoughts in his head. Raph doesn’t know what to feel as he walks back through the dark tunnels.

.

.

.

It’s 3am when the search finally concludes, too long since the mutant turtles and rat last ate lunch and too late for April to make the journey back to her apartment.

She stays overnight for the first time since that day. The group stand around the living room in silence. The rush of trying to stabilise the med-bay-bound time traveler is finally over and with it, their crushing spector returns with a vengeance.

“Well, I guess I’ll go get dinner started then!” Mikey smiles nervously, ducking out to escape to the kitchen. “I hope you guys don’t mind lasagna !” He calls.

Sharing one last glance, the rest disperse. No words need to be said, they all know their roles. Even months apart and drowning in unnatural silence, cannot wash away the years of laying this foundation.

April grabs the plates and utensils, Raph and Donnie start to round up the assortment of beanbags and chairs scattered across the lair and bring it to the table while Splinter hovers near the kitchen doorway, in case Mikey needed him. He was the only one, save April or occasionally Raph, who Mikey trusted in his kitchen. They were supposed to be banned together. Set of a pair.

“Ah” April chokes up, freezing mid-plate placement. Worried, Donnie walks over, leaving Raph to set the last beanbag. “April what’s wrong?”

In response, a strangled gasp (it sounds suspiciously like tears) escapes from his older sister, she shakes her head unable to continue. The soft shell frowns and begins counting the plates with his hand. One, Two, Three.. yes, there were six plates. Donnie doesn’t see the issue, six plates for six people-himself, April, Dad, Raph, Mikey, Le- Oh. His hand drops. Suddenly the cold tiles beneath him go from unnoticeable to digging pins and needles into his heels. Hurts, hurts everything hurts.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry” April shakes, She’s crying, Donnie is frozen. His heart beats a rabbit quick. Donnie doesn’t know what to do. He can’t do. His other half is gone, His big sister rarely ever cries, the faint sounds from the kitchen are too much.I can’t do this. It’s all too much.

The softshell doesn’t realise he’s hyperventilating till a solid warmth rests on his shoulders.

“Donnie? Dee..? Hey. It’s ok. Copy me and Mikey ok? Deep breath in, deep breath out”

A deep rumbling churr and a raspingly familiar lullaby, one that he hasn’t heard since he was a tot, joins them in the undertone.

He forces his breaths to slow. Safe. You are safe.

Squeezing the tears from his eyes. His vision clears, and somehow the softshell finds himself sitting on the ground with a weighted blanket draped on him. April is kneeled in front to him, Mikey and Splinter beside her. While Mikey and her exaggerate their breaths for him to follow. His father’s lullaby draws to a close. Come back

Behind him, his big brother shivers, still churring, a comforting presence no blanket can ever achieve.

Confused, Donnie arches a brow at his younger brother and father. Weren’t they supposed to be in the kitchen?

Familiar with his nonverbal gestures, Mikey speaks softy, for the softshell’s comfort. “You know how dad is. Pointy ears and all. He heard you hyperventilating, I saw him try to leave.. well you know.” The box turtle shrugs. “Dinner’s already in the oven, it’ll be fine.”

It’s truly a testament to how off-kilter everyone is, when Dad refrains from using his tail to smack the youngest for the ears comment.

Donnie nods stiffly, still not quite able to push past the weight holding his tongue.

He feels naked, exposed. Yet…somehow his body feels more relaxed and unwound than it has ever been in months, as if finally awoken from a long dream. For the first time, Donnie turns and lets his eyes wander around their lair, truly look at it. Not shamble through its halls during the witching hours half dead and with a single minded focus on: coffee, fix the occasional appliance, and returning to his lab.

The cobwebs by the rafters are gone. The playstation controllers are neatly stacked, the floor. The floor. A chill creeps back up his feet and into his hands. Gone is the stubborn layer of dust, dirt and crumbs that somehow always managed to coat the floor. It’s clean. It not supposed to be clean. Not even with three teenage boys.

I have become a ghost in my own home. The softshell blinks, dazed. How much has he missed? The genius wonders with no small amount of dread.

Mikey cocks his head to the side, cautiously curious. “Do you want to talk about it? Signing works too.”

The softshell’s feels his shoulders rise, ice all over. gone.gone. Gone. Six plates. A broken set. How he could be possibly explain this? How could he possibly articulate that kind of agony.

Sensing the return of the younger boy’s spiral, April shoulder checks him, disrupting the thought train. “It’s my fault. I was setting the table but then I realised-” Her voice wavers, but no new tears spill out. “- I realised I grabbed six plates”

Grieving understanding darkens everyone else’s face.

“Yeah.” April laughs sardonically. “I’m being a terrible big sister right now aren’t I?”

Donnie frowns, vermantly. As does everyone else in protest.

“April no..”

“That’s not true-”

“Green..”

“Guys stop.” She holds her hands up , Let me finish. She adds unspoken. They let her. Because when April O’Neil wanted to say something you listened.

“You guys don’t have to make me feel better ok? I know.” She whispers, wrapping her arms around herself in some modicum of comfort. “You’re my family.” The 19 year old cries heartbroken, bowing her head in shame. “You’re my family, you guys needed me and I avoided this place like the plague. Because it hurt too much to be here.” Unspoken their eyes drift to Leo’s memorial before returning back to each other.

“You were hurting…” Raph offers up, no longer churring.

“We’re all hurting! That doesn’t make it an excuse!” April hisses, snapping up to meet the second eldest’s gaze. Her eyes fierce even with a fresh set of tears. The snapper shrinks.

The human crumbles too, instant regret colours her face. “Oh, big guy I’m so sorry.” Gently, slowly she reaches out a tentative hand to the largest turtle. He leans into it, only to draw back at the very last second.

She presses lips into a thin line to keep herself from crying harder. April nods, eyes flashing in pained understanding. She sighs, steeling herself and then continues.

“When that void hit our Ninpo.. again” they all grimace in mutual disgust . “Fuck.. I was terrified. it was like being stuck on the ground again where we had to watch Leo, except worse.” She cups her hands to her face. “Because this time, I stayed away on purpose.”

“What if it wasn’t Casey? But one of you ?” She looks off into the distance, haunted. “What if the last memory you all had of me was off the worst day of our lives, instead of me telling you guys how much I love you. Because I do.” She says, wrecked with grief. But also love Always love. “Splints you’re my weird uncle, and you boys are my little brothers. I can’t lose you guys.”

Unable to contain himself anymore, Mikey loops his arms around her waist and burrows into her side. She reciprocates eagerly, wrapping an arm around her youngest brother and pulling him closer. “You’re not the only one who was pulling away.” The box turtle says sadly.

To the side, the former actor turned father and current Hamato patriarch says nothing, he watches his beloved sons and niece(?)semi-ward(?), (bah, doesn’t matter she’s family) silently. Deep in thought.

“Michel’s right.” Donnie chimes in, finally able to get his tongue working. They all look to him with varying degrees of suprise. Which is fair, he’s not exactly the picture of emotional vulnerability or mental health. None of them are. Donnie swallows down a lump. He does not want to do this. Newton’s beard does he not want to do this.

But his home is being warped around him. There is sterility where there should be chaos. Mikey is withdrawn, Raph is touch adverse, April is crying and Papa has not once complained bout missing any off his TV shows. We’re breaking. Donnie realises with hysterical dread. They’re barreling to the point of no return, and if something doesn’t give soon, they might be too far gone from themselves and each other, to ever fit back together.

He’s already bleeding out from the space where his twin used to be. Losing them like this, in any form will truly be the final gun shot to his brain. And they definitely won’t survive losing his genius either.

“I don’t.. I don’t think I know what to do with myself without Leo around.” He shifts uneasily, adverting his eyes from his family. “But I don’t want to leave you guys alone.” He grimaces, picking at his nails in nervous tick. “And I know.. leaving per se, isn’t what Leo would want. So as I’m sure as some of you know..” Donnie casts what he hopes is an apologetic look to Raph and Mikey. The ones he was sure felt his absence most keenly, like it or not, his father and him had very similar coping mechanisms, ie: drowning themselves in whatever be it TV shows or inventing to distract themselves from reality. “..I try to keep myself busy.” The softshell finishes.

Raph pales at the implication. “Donnie..” he says pained, but doesn’t make a move to hold the soft shell. Instead his hands brush against the younger teen’s shoulders tense and longing. Donnie tries not to take it personally.

He feels his dad’s tail wraps around his waist and squeeze. “I am so sorry, my son.”

Tearing up, Mikey slowly unwinds himself from April and holds out his arms in invitation. Donnie leans forward and the box turtle pulls Donnie into a hug, squeezing him with all the fierce, warm love only the sun like him can give. “Thank you for telling us. And thank you for staying.” His little brother says fiercely.

“I can never leave you all without my genius” He hugs Mikey back. Because it is true. Leo is his other half. But his whole world has always been made up of RaphLeoMikeyAprilPapa and the numerous tiny planets that made up his love for science and mechanical engineering.

It’s funny really. The genius locked himself in his lab, threw himself into home security, and chipped away at the backlogs of blueprints that had accumulated over the years, all in an effort to slow the bleeding. There could be no space for grief and the ‘just a little left and you can join him’ if he worked himself to exhaustion.

It kept him from thinking. It kept him in stasis. It kept him and his katana-sharp grief from spilling out and poisoning his beloved family. But he already did, didn’t he? For all his genius he failed to account how his absence was a poison too.

Yet this small pocket of family comforting him, helping him through his recent meltdown has done more to warm the chill and bandage the wrongness of gone gone gone-Something intrinsic to Hamato Donatello is gone- than any machine or programme he worked himself to death making.

Truthfully, Donnie doesn’t know if he can ever truly live with being half of a whole or a piece of his world gone, but for his remaining world, he’s willing to try. Besides, wasn’t Excascale computing becoming global soon? He definitely wants to try and stick around for that.

April rests her head on his shoulder, “Oh Dee.. we are so going to find you a therapist.”

“Preferably one with at least 4 doctorates.” He quips back, half joking-half serious.

Her eyes blaze determinedly with all the fire she was so famous for. “Consider it done.” Big sister of the whole wide world.

“Raph can look in the hidden city too.” Raph volunteers. “I’ll help too.” Donnie feels Mikey nod enthusiastically.

Despite everything, Donnie feels a small twitch upwards at his beak the first touch of a smile since that day. This.. this was still good.

“Actually..” after a brief pause, Mikey pipes up, nervously. “Since we’re all sharing something today, is it ok if I say something too?”

“Go for it.”

“Of course.”

“Always”

“Ok..ok I’m gonna do it.”Nervous, the youngest drums his fingers along Donnie’s battleshell. The softshell tsks, extending two metal claws from his shell to grab the younger’s hands. “Sorry.” Mikey shrinks.

“It’s fine. Just grip the claws instead.” The purple branded teen instructs, not breaking the hug. Mikey nods, and then proceeds to white knuckle the offered claws so tightly, the metal begins to creak. It makes the older brother want to shove the younger away and scream my baby! But it’s been a literal year since he has last seen his little brother (jeezus how did he let it get this bad) so Donnie resists; just this once.

“So..” Mikey takes a deep shuddering breath, “I don’t want you guys to take this the wrong way. I love you guys. I love to cook for you guys, I promise.” He looks to April,Splinter,Raph pleadingly.

“And I know you’re all hurting so I don’t mind handling the chores myself either.” He smiles wobbly. Shock briefly paints Donnie and Splinter’s face. Raph hunches inward and April’s looks away, ashamed. So that was who deep cleaned their floor and cleared out the webs. The mutant rat concludes heartbroken. He gently cups his son’s face. Mikey leans into it.

The floor alone would have taken days. How lonely must his son have been? Splinter mourns.

“B-but it gets really hard sometimes and I’m sorry.” Mikey hiccups, big fat tears rolling down his face. Forming a damp patch on the softshell’s shoulder that he bravely tolerates. “A-and I know I shouldn’t be complaining. It’s my fault Leo-”

Oh no. Oh hell no. Not their youngest.

The explosion of protests is violent.

“Baby, no.” April gasps horrified.

“Don’t you dare. Don’t you fucking dare.” Donnie hisses, wrenching Mikey away by his shoulders and shaking him.

“But if I was just a little faster-” The box turtle shakes.

“Orange, you did everything you could”

“But you guys-” Mikey whimpers.

“No.” Raph growls, clenching his fists. “ just because we’re hurting doesn’t mean anything. We are relying a bit too much on you. You cook for all of us. You’re the only one who keeps our home clean,” Raph places a light hand atop his little brother head. He has to say this, he has to. For Mikey. And.. for himself. “And Leo..” They all flinch. “Leo made his own choices.” Raph sags. “So please, don’t hurt my baby brother by blaming him for things out of his control.”

“But.. what about you?” Mikey wobbles

“Huh?” Raph tilts his head to the side.

“Do you blame yourself?” Point blank when he wants to me.

There is silence. The snapper recoils back stung. Raph for as big as he is, feels smaller than ever. “It’s not the same. You were trying to help. But I..”he hands his head low. “I hurt you guys.”

A chorus of protest break out again.

“It wasn’t you!”

“Literally impossible. You? The guy who feeds stray cats?”

“It was the Krang!”

“I know that!” Raph snaps. “It’s so stupid I know. The krang did it, not me.” The snapper grips his head. “But I’m the strongest and the biggest. And everything I close my eyes I see..” the red turtle shakes,staring down at his hands. “I don’t need mind control to hurt ya guys. If I mess up..” He squeezes his eyes shut, tears falling. “ I.. I’m supposed to take care of you bozos.”

“Oh big guy.. We’re supposed to take care of each other.” This time not to be deterred. April wraps her arms around his large arm. It burns, but he can’t bear to shake her off, not after so long. “if nothing else, you and I promised remember? We would share.” Her eyes glimmer again with new tears.

(A lifetime ago, tucked away in a little corner away from where little brothers are sleeping.

A 11 year old and 10 year old lie nestled against each other. “Thanks for helping to get my brothers to sleep. Raph’s really sorry for this. They always get so fussy when they’re sick.” He grumbles, tucking his head between his knees.

The girl giggles. “Psh~ I already said it’s fine. You don’t have to do it all by yourself.”

“But I’m the oldest.” The boy protests.

“Uhh no. I’m the oldest. Im 11.” She rolls her eyes. Beaming “I’m always happy to help if you want?”

“Really?” He gasps, eyes sparkling.

“Well duh,” The girl grins, not yet realising just how far she will go or the magnitude she will carry for her soon-to-be family. But her mum always said she could do anything. So she will endure, gladly for them. “What are friends for?” )

Seeing the lack of protest this time, Mikey and Donnie take that opportunity to pull away form each other and encircle their big brother on either side.

“We’re with you always raphie.” Mikey hugs.

“Yeah. Yeah What he said.” Donnie, opting to rest his hand against his older brother.

“You guys..” Raph sniffs, bending down to be closer to his siblings.

“My sons, my family..” Splinter stands and joining the rest of his family at last. They all turn to face him. “This past year has been hard on us all. With our blue..” The elderly man stutters, chest hurting. “-it will likely always be hard on us. Which is why more than ever we have to press in. I know I have not been the best father, but as the head of the household and the adult, I should have known better than to leave you all to your hurts.” Splinter kneels, dogeza style. “I am truly and deeply sorry. Please I hope you can find it in yourself to forgive me. No matter what happens, from now on I promise, I will do my very best to be here now.”

“Dad..”

“Pops..”

“Oh Splints.”

“I don’t normally feel things but that one got through.”

“Donnie really?” April chuckles weakly, rolling her eyes. The softshell doesn’t quite feel up to smiling yet, so he shrugs instead. Leo wasn’t here anymore. Someone has to do it.

“Cmon guys, Pop’s is right.” Raph huffs affectionately, he still doesn’t feel quite so comfortable to hug them all back. But he’s not pulling away and that means everything. “No more. We have to stick together.”

“Anatawa Hitorijanai” Mikey beams, wiping away the tears.

“Anatawa Hitorijanai” the rest of them echo back. Pressing closer to each other again.

“Wait.” Donnie stiffens, pulling away. “Angelo how long has your lasagna been in the oven?”

“My lasagna!” With a shriek and a jump, Mikey tears himself away from the group and races towards the kitchen.

He doesn’t get far, stoping just shy of the doorway when the Smoke detector goes off with vengeance. Followed by a BOOM! And the tell-tale glow of yellow-orange flames lick at the doorway.

“Orange! What did you put in that lasagna!”

“I don’t know! It’s never done this before!”

“The fire exstinghisher! Someone get the fire exstinguisher!”

“FIRREEEFIIGGHTTTIINGG LIKE A BOSSSS!”

“Wait! No no no! Raph! That’s the turbo mo-”

Peals of laughter break through the halls amidst the smouldering fire and smoke and clouds of demineralised water particles.

For the first in a long, long time the lair feels less a living tomb and more a home.

They think Leo might be proud.

<Prev | Next>

[xxdemonicheartxx]

How different dragons show that you are friends

Modern breeds

Bogsneak: make you something to eat/drink, they know your favorite snack and food allergies and can easily replicate things with substitutions

Coatl: know your music taste so well they can tell how you are feeling baaed on the music you listen to/can suggest songs right in your niche

Fae: understand how you are feeling without words, know when to give you space, understand that not everything you feel needs to be verbalized and respects that. Reading the room is their specialty

Guardian: fierce protectors, you feel bad? Sad? Who did this? Where do they live? I just wanna talk. They are almost like an older sibling. Great hugs.

Imperial: sits in silence with you. They understand what you feel and when you feel and know when to pry and when to leave it. They enjoy quietly sharing a space whilst you both do your own thing

Mirror: love to play and roughhouse, if thats not okay they poke fun and tease and taunt. They’re the type to greet you with “whats up freak” with the most endearment behind it

Nocturne: they share inside jokes! Finishing each other’s sentences and quips faster than you can get a breath to laugh

Obelisk: acts of kindness, they’ll clean up after you, cook for you, etc. they are happy to listen and learn while they cement their care for you via acts of service

Pearlcatcher: infodumping, mainly about themselves. If you’re someone they care about and trust, of course they can drop memories I to you and their pearl

Ridgeback: loaning, you need something or they deem that you need something due to your emotional standing they will loan out or gift give to show they care

Skydancer: advice, they know how to mitigate and read past emotion and will softly and calmly talk you away from choices made with bad standing. They don’t want you to shoot yourself in the foot so to speak

Snapper: they break habits and plans for you, they have very set ways and expectations they follow for themselves so if they break them for you then you are VERY important to them

Spiral: as energetic as they are when you are important to them they will actually sit and listen!

Tundra: they find things that smell akin to you, candles, perfumes, clothes and blankets, etc so that you can also experience what kind of comfort you bring to them

Wildclaw: sparring and feedback in just about anything. Wildclaws live for might so seeing their friends succeed in the danger that is their social hierarchy is important to then

[jjcocker]

guhguh ghuh Ok random thought agaaai n.. Yes uts rockers and for once i Wont be traumatizing jj more than I already do. Bc this time its cc babyyyy

I onlh add content warnings when im mid typing thepost. But still. cws for mentions/sorta descriptions of parental abuse (mainly verbal. but i mention physical too)

so this isss more bc I wana imagine a deftones animatic (again its w rhe song i mentioned; be quiet and drive)

uhh ok. So umm

cecil (I'm not gonna be super decisive in names. I like to call him cecil toooo but I wnna hold on tocalling him satoshi i donr KNOW) is the youngest of his family

I hc his family to be. A lot of people. (from youngest to oldest; him, pitcher, tj snappers girlfriend, megamix soshi, fever cd soshi, tengoku soshi (yes i think theyre all different soshis,. Srocker himself counts as one), pierce/pcg)

and he was also the last person to still live with his parents. Mainly bc he's the youngest yes . And he was. Definitely not seen as like. successful by his parebts standards? Idk what I mean I treid to sleep rn But yhen i thiught of thsi post and then. And then ySha)... he Needs like some support. Support that his pparents dont entirely give (read: DONT GIVE AT ALL). So he'd really struggle. and he was treated like shit for most of jis lifetime. He was always seen as a slob bc. OH OOH what if all his oldet siblings were like "prodigies" n stuff. and for a moment he was set up to be one (idk maybe. go ona whole different career) but idk Something took a toll on him and he just. started falling back while everyone else was out there Making It In Life. and his mom used Everyone Else to compare w him. sometimes even in front of the person hes comparing him with which would only make stuff. More awkward ( pierce as an example. Imagine ur mom is berating ur like 13 year old brother and comparing him to you (you are 27 years old with a job))(ages are just a randim throwaround I'm not sure just hwo okd I'll make all of them be but. yeahh its Like That)

he was constantly treated like a lazy couch potato guy. Oh yea also his mom did Not like when hed do guitar lessons. idk she just didnt see him making music as something worth anything. after all he's falling behind so Hard compared to his siblings ..

shed call him a lost cause- because "how can you Still Live with your mother, youre 20! you couldve been like pierce! or like sou! or like-" ok yeah u get itt... idk I think his mom jsut sees him as wasted talent. someone with so much potential only to waste it all on uh. *checks notes*. His hobbies. so everyday it was just getting insulted, feeling like a dead weight and burden 2 his mom (bc the way she'd talk and act to him was . Like that? yk) bc he couldve gotten out of that place quicker had he not been A Slob™. (he is 22 and is medium support needs)

i uh. Okay this will be a bit more extreme.

uh ever since he was .. like 9 he'd get Hit for not doing things right.

somethibg that would still happen sometimes even as he reached adulthood bc. I dont know actually his mom's just A Bitch.

idk howw exactly but uh eventually he has a big argument w her which ends w him like. really battered and bruised. and he gets kicked out of the house. the only thing he was allowed to take though was his guitar (which she Ruined) and the clothes he was wearing.

he calls jj (theyre Friends by here) and asks to stay @ his place. not revealing the reason why bc he didnt wanna worry her. Which she goes "yea sure I'm actually Drivin' (like the kk slider song HEEHEE) rn so I can pick you up there !"

so hes like. SHITSHITAHITSHITHSIT bc then he'd have to explain everything to jj but can't really. do anything. so she comes there and ahes like. "hii ccHOLY SHIT? ARE YOU ALRIHJT" .. when hte last thing cc wanted was for jj to worry about himm so je only felt Guilt. he just lies "yea I ummm.... Got too silly ^_^". she doesnt pressure him to like say much but like. idk they trust eachotuer enough to like. truly open up about stuff. which he does.

"...and,, yeha thats all! and thatsss how I just. kinda lost my home :P"

"Can i kill your mom"

"WHUH"

and yeah.. she drives off and hes finally far away from everything. Okay thats it!!! sorry for all this

[colourstreakgryffin]

KNY Hashira Shitpost; Merfolk AU

You see! I watched the live action of “the Little Mermaid” yesterday and wanted to change the Hashira into merpeople so ya!

The Hashira

Under the phrase “Hashira”, nine merpeople are the personal guardians of the Royal Ubuyashiki family and the kingdom the Ubuyashikis rule from dangerous life like sharks, eels, serpent/octopus monsters, etc.

The Hashira use weapons like katanas and staffs to fend off these threats. Three of the Hashira use different weapons for their own comfortability

The Hashira guard the kingdom at night and kill those creatures to ensure the merpeople race aren’t further killed

All merpeople have hydrokinetic magic powered by lunar energy. Through moonstone pendants, they can bend water, control sealife and alternate swimming speeds

Sea monsters’ magic is ten times stronger than merpeople, but have a bigger mental affect. Darkness corrupts their mindsets quicker

Tomioka Giyuu

Giyuu is a cobalt blue zebrafish merman

Spends a lot of his spare time collecting rare ores and shells to make them into gifts to give to Tanjiro and Nezuko

Giyuu has his own private cave, that basically all the Hashira plus the Royal family don’t know about. He can get away from socialisation and recollect himself in silence

Kocho Shinobu

Shinobu is a teardrop butterflyfish merwoman

Cleans up toxic waste with the butterfly girls in her free time, for all to be recycled into poisons she uses in her missions

Shinobu can’t stand being above the seawater for too long, the sun is too hot and the air makes her skin feel itchy. She is very petty with her needs

Kyojuro Rengoku

Kyojuro is a firefish goby merman

Gathers and brings back round troubled sealife to the sea. He feels required to make sure the innocent beings of the waters are safe

Kyojuro spends pretty much all his free time with his little brother, sightseeing the land people at the beach

Tengen Uzui

Tengen is a mandarinfish merman

His overall style is so flamboyant and over-the-top, that most are blinded by the mere sight of him

Tengen, with his excellently-singing wives, create music for the underwater kingdom and hosts his own music club

Tokito Muichiro

Muichiro is a transparent surgeon fish merman

Gets lost so often that the Hashira have to drench his tail in sticking glowing dust to track him down more easily

Muichiro always runs into those dangerous creatures like sharks and octopus, but ends up playing with them

Kanroji Mitsuri

Mitsuri is a bubblegum pink betta fish merwoman

Loves decorating tails and hairs of her fellow merwomen and is very skilled at the art. She can groom tails in a few minutes tops

Mitsuri has a incredibly beautiful singing voice and makes up random catchy songs on the fly to sing as she swims

Gyomei Himejima

Gyomei is a stonefish monster+gray snapper merman hybrid

This merbeing hybrid can easily withstand the pressure of the deeper waters and studies the sea life deeper below

Gyomei has very poisonous spines all over his tail so he has to be very weary of contact with other merpeople

Shinazugawa Sanemi

Sanemi is a blackwing flying fish merman

A very speedy swimmer and can make a gliding jump for 350m at a time. His sleek tail and fins help double his speed

Sanemi spends lot of his time tracking down threats to take care of them, even outside of his duty as a Hashira, since it’s fun to him

Iguro Obanai

Obanai is a banded sea serpent monster+swordtail fish merman hybrid

Uses his magic a lot as it’s a effective way to restrain the enemies, but eventually has to be restrained himself until that mental effect disappears

Obanai covers his mouth with special seaweed and has it as precaution bandages, incase he comes across a injured being