#Snake Drinking Water Video

[thrailkxll]

Catch him on his knees leaning in the cattle trough to put his arms in the water, maybe splash some on his helm--- Maybe even stick his whole helm in there.

The bulls are looking at him funny, but they understand.

[woman-becomer]

hey bud, maybe you should watch a video of a snake drinking water and calm down a bit

[kkusuka]

john price is a good man.

you can see it in the way he smiles as he orders his tea- everyday at 6:12am, herbal with two sugars- and as he stifles a laugh at the pun you leave on the side of his steaming cup- something about goldfish in a tank because you know he was military at some point- and he always, always, pours his change into the tip jar after you refuse to pocket the $50 he tries to hand you- he doesn't push because your manager is right there and he can't get his favorite barista in trouble.

and he is usually the only person in the shop that early- he knows that it picks up around seven so he makes sure he's there before that- and he's always up to talk about whatever you want to babble about as his drink steeps.

the new minecraft update and how you cried over it like you aren't a grown adult. ( 'it's embarrassing, crying over a mob in a video game that i've been plating since middle school. i am a grown adult, i should be crying over rent or taxes or something. 'i'd rather you not cry about anything, sweetheart').

how your roommate keeps leaving dishes in the sink and how it annoys you so much but you refuse to say anything about it. ('and i feel bad because we really get along and it's just this one thing that gets me but-' 'but nothin' sweetheart.' the you deserve to be taken care of, no chores, no worries goes unsaid)

how your manager makes you open and close the shop all alone even when he makes more than you. (that dick, john can make sure that you don't have to worry about mornings at least, he'll be there. you don’t have to worry about nights either, he'll get simon and johnny on it)

how your hourly wage just isn't cutting it anymore and you might have to find a second job to stay afloat. ('it's just a lot you know? i feel like i'm always fighting to keep my head above water.' 'you ever need help with anything you come to me, yeah sweetheart?' and you have no idea how much he means it.)

and eventually you have to seek him out. you got fired, your dick of a manager citing unprofessionalism and the company moving in another direction (it has nothing to do with the visit he got from that motherfucker in the cap with the union jack plastered on the front and some scot. but it really is his fault, john wouldn't have to do any of this if that snake would just treat you right). he doesn't even let you work your last day, just tells you to pack your locker and your check will be deposited next week.

john price is a good man and you know that because he gets you that second job. "bein' a barista is just like bein' a bartender. you'll be great sweetheart."

it's his bar you learn, just something small he and his colleagues bought after retiring from the SAS. you start working about four years, on the dot, after opening day- the man, kyle, says as he showed you around the building. he was your co-bartender, and johnny was some kind of chef for the minimal amount of food they served, and simon was security- whenever he was there anyway.

john mostly stayed in his office, save for the slower afternoon hours when he would join the four of you in your everlasting game of cards. (you've lost and you know it but they feel bad setting it into stone, so the game continues. kyle'll find a way to make johnny lose so you don't feel bad)

working at the bar was probably the best thing that happened to you in a long time. (best thing to happen to john too, but fucking your employee weeks after hiring them is bad business)

and to their credit, they keep you away from whatever side gig they have going on but you never feel out of place. (you don't question them when they randomly disappear in the middle of the week then come back at closing, brushing right past you into the back offices. you look past the blood, if there was an issue they would let you know).

that is until you get followed home by one of the regulars- it really was a one time thing, your car was in the shop and the walk isn't all that far in the daylight- and the only person you could think to call was your boss. john didn't leave the bar until the sun came out so you knew he wouldn't be asleep, and he told you to call him if you were ever in trouble and this was the closest you could get.

it took him less than five minutes to get to you and even less time to convince you that living so far was dangerous and that you could come stay with him until you found a nicer place. (you never question how he already had clothes in your size, or the exact hygiene products you had back in your old apartment.) but you let him guide you into his room, into his bed as he promises he'll make up the guest room another day. and you just let him hold you.

you don’t question how you never see the man again. you don't look twice as his name flashes across the tv screen and you don't think too far into his disappearance.

john price is not a good man, but you don't need to know that.

[coldfanbou]

Too Much to Drink

This week's fic was inspired by this video I just loved seeing touchy/needy Umji. So here we go with a little threesome.

Length 2.2K

Umji X Eunha X Mreader

You waited by the door, listening ot the girls' giggle from the bedroom. “Let's go already,” You call out. 

“We’re coming!” Umji yells, strolling through the door the next moment. She smiles at you before turning her head to Eunha. “This is going to be great. When was the last time we got to go out?” The two chatted all the way down to your car and the bar. You listened in occasionally, hearing Umji telling Eunha not to go overboard. It made you laugh, the idea of either woman going wild on drinks. You would be proven wrong later, but you didn’t know it at the time. 

Inside the bar, the three of you talked about what you had been doing recently, with Eunha using her time to talk about all the restaurants she wanted to go to, having an actual list in her bag. It made the whole table laugh. Eunha had an actual list, you couldn’t believe it. “Don’t laugh!” Eunha would say between swigs of her drink. “It’s not that funny,”  she murmured, crocodile tears running down her cheek. Umji already knew her friend at this point and kissed her cheek.

“It’s pretty funny.” She said before taking another drink. Umji had already had a few, and you noticed the change in her behavior. As time went on, it became even more noticeable. 

Later in the night, Umji buried her head in Eunha’s chest, shaking her head as she giggled. The older woman laughed as she felt the maknae's face rub against her breasts. The many drinks she had poured had finally gotten to Umji. The drunk woman didn’t hold back as much, acting without thinking instead.  Eunha patted Umji’s head and gave you an apologetic look; you would have to take care of her once you got home. You remember thinking that it wouldn’t be so bad, you had dealt with a drunk Umji before, but it wasn’t long before Eunha was drunk two, their hands wandered each other's bodies as they giggled and made jokes. 

You shook your head. Eunha would not be able to get home safely. At the end of the night, you nudged Umji, “Let’s invite Eunha home.” While you had meant the message to be a caring one, Umji interpreted it differently. She nodded without a word to you and turned to her drunk friend.

“Eunha, let’s go home.” She said sweetly, gently holding onto the older woman’s hand with a smile on her face. Eunha’s face turned red, she nodded, and got up slowly. The women supported each other as you led the way back to your car. They sat in the back, barely able to put their seatbelts on. You would catch peeks of the girls as you drove home.

Umji kept her hand on Eunha’s thigh, running it up and down her leg until they got home. You helped both women inside, taking them to the bedroom where they collapsed onto the bed. You took a deep breath, tired from helping them all the way here. You head to the kitchen to get a drink of water. While you're gone, Umji takes her chance. Lying on top of Eunha, she snakes her hands under Eunha’s shirt. “You’re so pretty, unnie.” She giggles. The older woman helps Umji get her shirt off, slipping her bra off afterward. Eunha kisses the younger woman as it becomes her turn to strip off a piece of Umji’s clothes. 

Umji's smile grew larger as she placed her hand on Eunha’s breast, running her hand around the soft mounds.  She made Eunha shiver as she ran her hands across her smooth and supple skin. Umji took her hands off the older woman’s tits, just to get her shirt off, but once it was gone she placed them right back. Umji ran her thumbs across Eunha’s soft nipples, the small nubs slowly getting harder. They looked amazing, small things, and light pink. Umji felt her mouth water, she wanted to suck on her unnie’s nipple, but she had to focus. Eunha was getting her out of her skirt, moving her hand between Umji’s legs, and feeling her wet slit through her patnies. 

Umji moaned softly as she felt the older woman’s hand touch her. Umji reached down wanting to return the favor. Each woman was stripped of their last pieces of clothing. Umji placed her hand against Eunha’s slit, pushing two fingers in gently as she kissed her neck. “Ahm, Umji,” she cooed, holding the younger woman against her neck as Umji pushed her fingers deeper into her cunt.  

You came back into the room to see your girlfriend on top of Eunha. When she saw you, she rolled to the side and spread Eunha’s folds apart. “We’re ready,” she giggled, before nuzzling the older woman. You didn’t know what you walked back into, but the sight was too much to resist, especially when you see just how wet Eunha is. You strip down and get between her legs, ready to fuck her when Umji stops you. She leaves the older woman to get by your ear. “Tease her a little, fuck her thighs. She’ll love it.” Umji giggles again before moving back to Eunha’s side. You follow along, raising Eunha’s legs and pushing them together, resting them against your body.

You slid between Eunha’s legs, her slick thighs as soft as pillows as your cock slid between them. She moaned softly as your cock rubbed against her slit. Her modest breasts bounced lightly as your pelvis smacked against her ass. “Unnie,” Umji mewed, leaning closer to the older woman’s chest. Umji stuck her tongue out and flicked Eunha’s nipple, giggling before doing it again. “Unnie, you have such pretty boobs,” she says, squeezing the other mound. You stifle a laugh. In any other situation, Umji would’ve tried to sound more sophisticated, but drunk, she said what came to mind. You stayed silent, watching as your girlfriend attached herself to Eunha’s breast, sucking on the older woman’s nipple.

Eunha pushed her chest out, moaning softly as pleasure filled her body. Unconsciously she squeezed her thighs together trapping your cock between her meaty legs. You grunt. Eunha didn’t stop at pressing her thighs together; she rubbed them. Thrusting between her legs, you add to her slick with your precum. You began wanting more, you slowed down, coming to a stop before spreading her legs apart. You rub the tip against her slit, between her wet folds making Eunha’s moans grow louder. 

Looking over at Umji, she gives you a nod, her smile growing as she shifts her gaze from you to Eunha. Umji bites down on Eunha’s nipple while you push into Eunha’s wet folds, her warm walls enveloping you. Eunha cries out,  craning her neck, leaving it open to attack. Umji leaves her post as the older woman’s nipple and kisses, her neck, sucking on it to leave hickeys. “I love you Unnie,” Umji whispers as she squeezes the older woman’s tits, trapping Eunha’s hard nipple between her fingers. “Does it feel good?” She asks, her voice almost needy.

“It feels good,” Eunha moans, her body squirming. You feel Eunha’s hips rock against yours, making your cock move inside her. You hold her waist as you begin thrusting into her. Eunha’s moans fill the room, quickly becoming the most pleasing sound either you or Umji has heard. Umji tugs on the older woman’s nipples, wanting to hear more of her moans. Eunha pleased her by doing just that; she moaned loudly, pleasure filling her body. You made her wrap her legs around your waist, and after that, she didn’t want to let you go. “M-more!” She groaned, struggling to contain her desires any longer. 

Umji smiled. She just loved hearing that her unnie wanted more. She stole a kiss from Eunha, pressing her lips against the older woman’s as her hand made it’s way done Eunha’s stomach to her slit. As you hammered away at Eunha’s cunt, Umji played with her clit, moving her slender fingers around her clit. Eunha’s hips thrust upward as the two of you played with her body. She was on the verge of cumming. Eunha couldn’t say a thing, though. Umji’s tongue was down her throat as the younger woman took advantage of her unnie. Eunha felt her core tighten with every thrust, and without warning, she came. Her walls gripped your cock tightly, her body shook as you continued thrusting into her. 

You were getting pushed to your climax. Eunha’s legs pushed you deeper, you couldn’t escape and made the decision to cum inside her. Your grip on her waist tightened and you buried yourself inside Eunha, painting her walls white as your cum poured in her cunt. A long groan flowed from her lips. Your warm cum was making her body feel warm all over. Umji looked over her shoulder and smiled at you, continuing to rub Eunha’s clit. “Unnie, you better share. You’re going to share it with me, right?” Eunha couldn’t muster a reply, still rocked from the orgasm.  “I’ll just get it myself,” Umji said to the dazed woman. 

Once you got Eunha’s legs uncrossed and freed yourself, Umji immediately set herself between the older woman’s legs, giving Eunha a chance to return the favor. Before she started, she looked at you, her cheeks puffed out. “I want a creampie, too,” She said in a needy voice. You climbed onto the bed, getting behind Umji. As you readied yourself, you felt something warm moving across your balls. When you looked down, you saw the older woman sucking on them. Your cock hardened, Eunha gave a tired giggled and reached for your cock, grabbing it and bringing it to Umji’s wet slit. She looked like she was about to say something when another moan escaped her lips. Umji had already began eating her dessert, her tongue pushing into Eunha’s dirty cunt. 

You didn’t wait for Eunha to tell you what she had wanted to and push into Umji’s cunt. The warm hole welcomed you, caressing your shaft as you went deep inside. You groped Umji’s ass the soft meat melding as you dug your fingers into it. Umji moaned into Eunha;’ pussy, continuing to eat the older woman out. After a few thrusts you felt Eunha’s tongue again this time she was lapping at Umji’s slit, managing to please both of you. You grunted, the pleasure from Umji’s tight walls and Eunha tongue pushing your already sensitive cock over the edge. Still you continued thrusting, spanking Umji’s ass as you began to speed up. Your girlfriend’s moans became increasingly louder. She could hardly continue eating out with her unnie. She gripped Eunha’s thighs, biting her lip as she failed to contain her moans.  She dug back in, using her fingers to push Eunha over the edge and give her unnie her second orgasm.

The three of you came together. Eunha’s continued lapping finally pushed you over the edge, but you continued to thrust as you came inside your girlfriend. You smacked Umji’s ass, hit after hit landing on the soft flesh, turning it a bright red. Your rhythm was thrown off as she bucked her hips, her own orgasm triggering. You slip out of Umji, spurting cum onto Eunha’s face and neck. 

It surprised the older woman, but she welcomed the hot spunk on her face. You slipped your cock back inisde Umji, plugging the leaking hole that was her cunt and dumping the last of your load inside her. You lay back on the bed, staring at the intertwined bodies of your girlfriend and Eunha. Umji rolls off the older woman, her lips stained with your cum and her nectar. Eunha was in a similar condition, your cum having splashed onto her cheeks, lips and neck. Umji also noticed and crawled over her friend, dragging her tongue along Eunha’s skin to lick it up. Eunha moaned softly as Umji licked her clean. She felt her breasts rub against hers, and Eunha gave in when Umji kissed her again. The sight of the naked women kissing so passionately managed to wake your cock. 

After the kiss was broken, Umji looked up to see the messy length. “Unnie, let’s keep going,” Umji said before pointing to your hard cock. Eunha smiled, and the women crawled on either side of you, their tongues licking the sides of your shaft as the night continued until the early morning. 

When you woke up, you found Eunha sandwiched between you and Umji, your cock buried inside the older woman while Umji’s hands held her tits. You pull out slowly, but still wake Eunha. “Mmm, what happened,” Eunha groaned, attempting to pull you back into her cunt. As she did that, she began coming to her senses.

Umji pulled her closer, tugging on Eunha’s nipples. “Unnie, last night was so fun, we should do it again.” It would take a little more time for Umji to wake up and apologize for the previous night's events, but Eunha was receptive to the idea of another threesome in the future, making the maknae blush.

[hrrtshape]

How to stop checking 3d no glue no borax

how to stop checking 3d?? no glue, no borax, no spiritual snake oil, just the facts.

right, so, you want out. you want to stop checking 3d like it’s a stock market crash, like it’s a renaissance painting where, if you just squint hard enough, the divine truth will reveal itself. you want to stop, but you keep doing it, and now you’re here, which means you are both self-aware and in trouble. let’s fix that.

let’s diagnose. checking 3d, whether compulsive, casual, or full-tilt existential crisis, is a symptom. you are looking for proof. confirmation. a wink from the universe that everything is working, that your assumptions are correct, that the metaphysical postman hasn’t lost your order. it’s like shaking a polaroid before it develops: you think you’re helping, but you’re just interfering.

here’s the brutal truth, courtesy of every dead philosopher worth their salt: reality doesn’t care if you check. schrodinger’s cat is going to be what it’s going to be whether you pry open the box or not. your job, if you actually want to stop checking, is to stop thinking you’re the forensic analyst of your own existence. because you’re not. you are the architect. and architects don’t micromanage bricks. they draw the plans and trust the builders.

so, the method. no glue, no borax, no manifesting mala beads necessary. just strategy.

i , replace the action :  every time you catch yourself checking, do something else. immediately. drink water. text a friend. recite some poetry (preferably by someone dramatic, like plath or pound). make this a rule: if you check, you must also perform an arbitrary task, like doing a plank or translating a sentence into latin. you won’t like this. that’s the point. your brain will get bored and stop the cycle.

ii , reframe the impulse :  checking is a power move in reverse. you are telling the universe you don’t trust it. that’s embarrassing. stop doing that. act like someone who already has what they want, because people who have what they want do not spend their free time poking at the logistics of their own happiness like it’s a faulty ikea table.

iii , refuse to engage with time :  checking is a byproduct of impatience. impatience is a byproduct of thinking time is linear and oppressive instead of weird and malleable. ignore time. pretend it doesn’t exist. pretend you are a 14th-century aristocrat who has never seen a clock and moves exclusively by candlelight and gut instinct. the more you detach from time, the less you will care about what happens when.

iv , control your narrative intake :  what you consume, you become. if you’re constantly reading anxious forum posts and scrolling through tiktok videos of people catastrophising, congratulations, you’re marinating in doubt. stop it. read things that make you feel powerful. read war strategy. read virginia woolf. read a single wikipedia article on some obscure form of combat and let your brain steep in the idea that you are the general, not the foot soldier.

v , become so interesting that you forget to check :  this is the most important step. if your reality is boring, you will check on it like a neglected houseplant. make your life impossible to check on. fill it with distractions so lush and decadent that you forget to care. become the person who is too busy living to investigate. read difficult books. learn weird skills. get obsessed with something obscure and ridiculous (medieval astronomy, japanese joinery, renaissance poison recipes). make your brain so occupied with living that it forgets to spiral.

last thing, and this is crucial: trust like it’s your job. because it is. trust is not passive. trust is an active, radical decision. the moment you commit to trusting, fully, unflinchingly, with the audacity of a gambler pushing all their chips forward, you become untouchable.

so go. don’t check. do something better.

[bunny-jpeg]

the group chat (max's version)

max verstappen

cw: smut/pwp, filming, exhibitionism, yacht sex, alcohol, semi-public sex, missionary, loud & sloppy,

bunny says: this is part of a multi-part series where each chapter is with a different driver. each revolving around the idea of the driver's group chat, how would they film you two fucking for the enjoyment of the others?

want another driver? find your fave here!

the group chat was an infamous piece of insight into the lives of formula one drivers. at least that's what people thought, in all honesty it was rather boring. there was some gossip here and there, but for the most part it was rather quiet.

until the drivers woke up to a pretty big file sent to the chat. labeled "3gO395867CB.mp4" this video gave no indication of what the contents were and only the most curious of the drivers opened it.

"you ready, mijn liefje?" max's voice came from behind the camera. he had it propped up against something and walked to where you were.

the viewer of the video could clearly make out your naked boat, seated on the top part of max's boat. you had your arms stretched out slightly behind you and your ankles crossed. the look in your eye read how dedicated you were to max.

he stood close to you and reached out. his thumb grazed you bottom lip as he said, "you didn't answer me."

you replied, "ready as i'll ever be."

"you know they're watching." he said as he peeled off his briefs and stepped out of them. your lips went right for his cock, but he grabbed you by the hair to stop you, "not today."

he got down beside you and his hands were all over you. especially the hand that snaked between your legs. his lips were at your neck where he was leaving a trail of pretty bruises.

he fingered you while he kissed your neck, he soaked in your moans knowing that the camera was capturing every second of their intimacy on the boat. max verstappen's cute girlfriend, the one who always knew how to light him up after a bad loss.

there you were on camera while your three-time championship boyfriend fingered the fuck out of you. your noises were pornographic, it made max's cock twitch.

"jij bent mijn brave meid, toch?"

you nodded, "ja schatje." your response was almost fluent dutch, which made the champion chuckle before he pulled you in for another searing kiss.

he laid out out on the couch and felt up your body, "look at the camera and tell them how you're feeling." his voice was a comforting feeling but it still made you run hot.

his touch was electric, "tell them." he encouraged.

it took a few moments to build up courage before you waved to the camera as if you weren't naked and about to be fucked. "hi, guys." you said, "um, i guess we're going to put a show on for all of you today." you giggled, "so enjoy."

"tell them how you feel?"

"sunburnt..." there was a pause, "and horny. we were drinking earlier which led to this happening." you looked up at max, "so you better fuck me off before you wrapped your arms around his neck.

he kissed at your heated cheeks, "always will." before he lifted your hips and got you in the right position to slip his cock inside of you. he fit like a glove with little resistance. he made a noise like air was caught in his throat before he coughed out, "neuken."

you two have had sex multiple times. it wasn't a surprise that your pussy was just too good for him. but every time he forgets how good it felt. you wrapped your legs around him.

the sound of the water hitting the boat accompanied the sounds of your heavy breathing and moaning. there was no telling exactly where you were other than it was quiet enough for you to be fucking on the deck and it was a bright sunny day out.

max went in for another searing kiss as he continued to thrust into you. your body moved against him as he laid his chest against yours. your hands explored his toned back, nails dug into the skin when he hit a particular spot.

the kisses you sloppy and loud, paired with your moans and the peacefulness of the ocean. the viewer was left to wonder if anyone could even catch you. maybe that was the risk of it all, the idea of being caught.

he still tasted like the gun and tonics he had earlier. his face kissed by the sun till it was red. sweat down his bare back as he thrusted up into you. you could almost forget that this entire thing was being filmed.

max's praises were sloppy as were his kisses. the fire in your belly burned hot as he continued to move against you. you raked your nails down his back as he rutted into you.

"cum for me" he panted, "i want them to see what face you make when i make you feel good."

you panted, a sarcastic comment hung on your tongue but never came out. your head was too flushed with hot pleasure. you tensed up around him and finished with a loud moan.

max drank in the sight of you hyped up on intense pleasure. he flashed a knowing smile to the camera. he may be sharing the intimate moment between you two, but it didn't mean he was going to share you.

it was loud, sloppy fucking on a yacht. a symbol of power and wealth that max had at his disposal. you kept your legs around him as he continued to thrust into you.

when pleasure sank its teeth into him, he grabbed you by the meat of your hips and gave two hard thrusts of his hips before he spilled himself into you. he coated the inside of your pussy with white cum.

"holy shit."

"max."

"i know. catch your breath." he replied as he pushed hair out of your face. even blissed out you looked like his dream girl. what a special little thing you were!

max then slowly pulled out and let you be laid out on the couch. your breathing was heavy and your skin glowed in the afternoon light. felt lightheaded as you watched the driver get up to turn off the video.

the camera got a good view of max's cock, shiny with your wetness as he picked up the device and turned off the video. the file ended.

the message attached to the video was, "what mine isn't yours. don't ask for a taste. if tomorrow's race goes well, then you'll get another one."

[sophsbookstore]

Somebody Come Get Her

Lando Norris x driver!reader ｡･:*˚:✧｡

Masterlist can be found in navigation!

Word count: 1,627

“I'm literally fine!” She is not fine. Infact Y/N is the drunkest she's been in a while.

After placing in the points at the Montreal Grand prix, while simultaneously celebrating her friend's second place win, Y/N decided that getting absolutely wasted in Montreal was the best thing for herself to do.

“Y/N how many shots have you taken?” A concerned Lando Norris questions his best friend.

“This many.” Y/N says, holding up two middle fingers in front of Landos face.

Lando tried to hold in his laughter, Y/N wasn't a big party girl. Sure she would always accompany the rest of the grid out to parties after races, she usually doesn't drink that often, going a little crazy once a season, but never this crazy.

“I'm going to get you some water, please don't drink anything while I'm gone, okay?” Lando scolds Y/N. “Can I trust you won't do anything stupid?”. When the girl gives him a thumbs up he takes it as his sign to move, quickly walking to the bar, Y/N books it to the other side of the club, spotting a small group of wag’s sitting together.

Not even thinking twice she bolts to the other side of the tight Montreal club, speed walking as fast as her designer heels can take her. Lily Z spots her, not really the party girl herself notices Y/N practically falling over herself trying to get to them.

Laughing, Lily taps one of the girls on the shoulder, they all turn to face Y/N instantly getting up and running to the girl with drunken excitement.

“Holy fuck you guys are so hot.” Y/N blushes, giving each girl a compliment before finding Lily in the back of the group. Y/N clings onto the Australian for dear life, Lily doing her best to hold half of Y/N’s body weight.

The girls walk back over to their couch in the VIP section of the club, all of them talking over one another while house music blasts throughout the small room. Back at the bar Lando is constantly looking over his shoulder, trying his best to find Y/N, making sure she stays near him.

Just as he thought, when the bartender finally hands him his drinks she's gone. “Of course she's gone.” Lando scolds himself for thinking that she would have actually stayed.

Placing his hand over the top of her drink, Lando aimlessly walks around the club, trying to find Y/N so he can take her home. Back at the couch the girls are starting to move to the dance floor, all of them going crazy for the international house music being played on the speaker.

As Y/N spins around, her eye catches something in the middle of the club, a pole. The pole is placed in the middle of the club, sitting atop an LED podium. Throughout the whole night many people have drunkenly got on it and sloppily spun around. “Look!” Y/N shouts, all the girls following her line of vision to the pole.

“I need it!” before anyone can say anything Y/N sprints to the empty pole, practically jumping onto it before spinning around. The sudden movement of the pole triggers the people around to stare at the girl. For being absolutely wasted Y/N managed to do pretty well for herself, random girls at the club shoving money in her bra as her friends and random patrons cheer or record on their phones.

The sudden cheering alerts Lando, a big crowd of people move toward the center of the club, Lando turns, seeing what he feared most. Knowing this was going to be a PR disaster for Y/N if the videos got out he abandons her drink on a random table, moving quickly through the crowd covering any camera he can in the process.

“Excuse me, pardon me, sorry.” Lando says to complete strangers before making it to the base of the pole. Without a second thought he grabs her arm, pulling her into him. Drunk off her ass Y/N collides into Landos chest. “Come on, I'm taking you home.” Lando snakes his arm around Y/N’s waist, moving the two of them closer to the door as another girl jumps onto the pole.

“Why did you do that? I was having so much fun.” Y/N pulls away from Lando, folding her arms in front of herself, trying to get some stability.

“Y/N come on, you're too drunk right now.'' Lando puts his hands on his hips, the both of them knowing she has no chance in this fight.

“I'm staying, that's final.” Y/N turns away from Lando, walking back to the big group before suddenly she's swept off her feet. Lando kneels down next to Y/N grabbing her waist once more before throwing her over his shoulder.

Holding onto the back of her knees, Lando pulls his keys out of his pocket as he walks toward the exit of the club, eyes following the pair as they walk away. “Damn Lando, why didn't you ever say anything about this dumpy back here?” Y/N giggles, her face against his lower back.

Lando laughs, carrying her all the way to his car. He holds the door open for her, helping her into the front seat before buckling her in. Lando quickly moves to the other side of the car, typing in Y/N’s hotel a few blocks away, before starting the car and driving off.

“Oh shit!” Y/N shouts, pulling the money out of her stuffed bra. “I'm rich!” She cheers, throwing the money all over Landos car.

“Where did you get all of this?” Lando says, picking up a twenty from the dashboard.

“People just kept giving them to me, I ate.” Y/N shrugs. Lando smiles at the girl, Y/N turns her attention to the window beside her, resting her head against the glass as her eyes start to shut.

Lando plays some soft music to help Y/N fall asleep, within seconds she's out. The drive doesn't take long, about fifteen minutes, when Lando parks he takes a minute to admire the girl beside him, carefully tucking a loose hair behind her ear to wake her up.

Y/N stirs in her sleep, Lando whispering for her to wake up as he goes to her door to help her out. With a combination of alcohol and sleep deprivation it's a miracle Lando got Y/N to her room, avoiding eye contact with guests and staff on his way to the elevator. 

Lando lets the both of them into her room, helping Y/N into bed before placing Advil and water next to her bed. “You're so hot.” Y/N whispers, her glassy eyes stare at Lando.

“You're so drunk.”

“It doesn't mean I can't point out the obvious.” Y/N shrugs, closing her eyes and pulling the comforter close to her body.

“I'll see you in the morning, Y/N.” Lando smiles, setting up a “bedroom" for himself in the living room.

Lando spent the whole night thinking about Y/N, her dancing at the club, what she said before she went to bed. Lando has liked Y/N ever since they joined Formula 1 together, the two have always been inseparable, an iconic duo in motorsport. 

CLACK! “Fuck!” The sound of something falling, quickly followed by a semi quiet swear, wakes Lando up.

A shirtless Lando moves his head toward the sound, his gaze falling upon Y/N wearing a tank top and plaid pajama pants. The pair look at one another, Lando notices her wet hair and beautiful bare face.

“Goodmorning!” Y/N gives lando an awkward smile.

“Good Morning to you too.” Lando gets off the couch, stretching before walking over to Y/N, the girl's eyes looking him up and down before the two become face to face.

“Be honest, how drunk I was last night.” Y/N grabs a banana off the counter.

“Honest?” Y/N nods, wanting to know what stupid thing she did. “There was a pole at the club, it may have gotten a lap dance from a certain female driver.”

Y/N drops her banana, her face getting hotter by the second as she covers her mouth in shock. “No I didn't.'' Lando decided that he wouldn't tell her about how many strangers filmed the whole moment. “Please tell me that was it.”

“You told me I’m hot, which boosted my ego an unhealthy amount.” Lando laughs.

“Oh, that's not that bad.” Y/N shrugs, picking the banana up off the floor. “You are.” She starts unpeeling the banana, taking a bite out of it before going to get a cup of water.

Lando was shocked, too stund to speak. Y/N turns around laughing at Lando’s expression. “What, you seriously didn't know?”

“Know what?” The man quickly asks.

“I've had a crush on you for the longest time, I thought it was so obvious!” She finishes the water, throwing away the remainder of her breakfast.

“You gotta be kidding me.” Y/N stares at Lando, trying her best to read his emotions. “I've had a crush on YOU for the longest time!” Lando explains, both their smiles getting bigger and bigger.

“Well then what the hell are we waiting for!” Y/N steps closer to Lando. “Can I kiss you right now?”

“Always.” Lando replies, taking Y/N face in his hands before kissing her passionately.

“Finally.” Y/N says as the two pull away from one another. “But seriously, remind me to never drink in Canada again.”

[weirdrtvscomments]

in case anyone is struggling with deciding who they want to vote for in the RTVStan/RTVS Nation/RTVSia/RTVS Topia/RTVS Topia-Ville presidential election, i have compiled a list:

Log

Representing the Ethernet Party: “A people with 5 ping to the main server is a people that prospers.”

Will change the name to RTVS Nation

Comic books are a part of the platform

Everybody gets a free moat

Eyes that are twice as big for everyone that wants them

Offload cost to Wifi users

Working on a battery charged snack

Hypnotist is a protected class

Robloxia war veteran

Defenses are proven

Will take your ants and import more

Endorsed by: Soulja Boy, Ken Masters, Stitch 

Signature move when President: Snake Trick (no weaknesses)

Punishment for other candidates: Follow him out & about like an RPG party

Mike

Representing the Sweets & Treats Party: “I was just outside eating a sandwich.”

Orange creamsicles will be available in every store

Free Steam Deck for every American citizen

Will lower tariffs and imports on all types of sweets and treats from Canada, while raising tariffs on everything else

Most important snack is Wasabi Peas

Not very good against zoners

Why are ants so bad?

Endorsed by: 2 (anonymous), Trap Snax

Signature gimmick when President: Whenever he eats a yummy piece of candy he gets an install, which gets its own theme

Special move when President: A cool punch like Marissa from Street Fighter 6

Punishment for other candidates: Have to reach into a bin of Bean Boozled that's 90% gross ones and eat it in public in front of cameras and the press. After, push into the alligator moat. Also, Mira’s idea

Mira

Representing the Drinks & Eats party: “I was rooting around in a dumpster out back.”

Will change the name to RTVSia

One of every food and drink, free of charge

Will develop a chemical compound called “Ketracel White,” will genetically engineer ants to be dependent on it 

Endorsed by: IceFrog, Yoshi, Yoshi (from Mario), baby Yoshi (might be one and the same), Chun Lee

Signature move(s) when President: Level up system (up to 3), if she gets knocked down she loses a charge of it, gets it when she does some power up move (or something), negative edge inputs (landmine, fireball, that one thing Bison does in Street Fighter 5), install where she gets a command grab, 8-way air dash, guard impact, levels reset between rounds, invincible super (can do it on wakeup)

Punishment for other candidates: Detractors rounded up and taken into woods where they are given a knife, camera, and laptop to make a Youtube channel of them living in the woods (Ethernet in the trees)

Trog

Representing the People’s Choice Freedom Integrity Liberty Justice Prosperity Sovereign Citizen’s Ethical Governance Democratic Renewal Global Sustainability Citizens for Unity (may be part of the Lego Star Wars Party): “We’re all part of God’s nation in my eyes.”

All breakfast restaurants have to be open for lunch & dinner in addition to breakfast

THEY HAVE TO GIVE YOU A LARGE WATER WHEN YOU ASK FOR IT

Desegregate PornHub and GayTube

Everybody gets a free castle

Immediately cease all snack exports 

Will start war with Canada

Will mail a bomb if you want him to

Will double your ants and give them to the next guy OR will turn them all into 1 big ant

New category on PornHub for ants

Will build death robots and a spaceship

Will be inventing gorgons, griffins, vampires, Frankenstiens, zombies, mummies, insects, gorgon ants (small)

Endorsed by: The Sims, Captain Video, Half Life 2: Lost Coast (demo), Tobuscus

Super move when President: 1 Sphinx on every tile surrounding, +1 food, +1 culture (if next to a river, +2 food, +2 culture instead)

Theme song: Steppin’ Out by Joe Jackson

Punishment for other candidates: All other candidates have to do an embarrassing pose and gaze into Medusa’s eyes, which will turn them into stone. The statues will be put in front of the White House, where during a nation-wide celebration they will be knocked down with a wrecking ball/individually destroyed with dirty bombs

Wayneradiotv/Wayne John 

Representing the California Milk Processors Board: “Enjoy DOGh.”

Every gallon of milk will have $2,000 in it

Free PornHub premium

Any dairy product you want whenever you want it

Will attract more ants

Will rename it to Milk Nation

Pig milk Iron Fist

Endorsed by: Britney Spears, Beyonce, Rhianna, Serena Williams, Venus Williams, Shaquille O’Neal, Harrison Ford (all branded with Permanent Milk Mustache & committed their eternal lives), Batman, Mario, Spongebob

Signature move when President: Cow army that walks on their hind legs and shoot milk as projectiles

Punishment for other candidates: Mulched into feed for his cows

Things you need to rememer for the ONLY ELECTION THAT MATTERS!!!!

[rosylix143]

after the show | l. felix

pairing: lee felix x fem!reader

genre: suggestive

synopsis: you meet up with your boyfriend backstage after a night of him getting himself and you completely soaked and making everyone go feral

cw: MDNI, felix is a flirt….like a big flirt, reader is obsessed with his abs lowkey (same), a bit of making out backstage (let me know if i’m missing anything)

wc: 1374

———————————・❥・———————————

You were standing in the special VIP section of the concert, as usual. It was a special seat that was reserved for you in advance before the tickets were released. In fact, you didn’t really need a ticket. Your boyfriend was the ticket.

The show was loud and exciting, just like how you loved it. Your lightstick was shining bright, and you wore a red skirt with long black boots, a DominATE Tour tank top, and your boyfriend’s black jacket. No one would have guessed that it was his jacket, but that’s what you liked about it so much. It was his jacket, and it was reserved for you too.

On the outside, you looked like a regular fan, so all the videos of Felix interacting with you from the stage are just seen as another one of those “Felix interacts with fans at barricade” videos. But no one could ever read between the lines of your interactions.

That gaze in his eyes wasn't just any gaze, and that smirk wasn’t just any smirk. They were reserved for you. The music was getting louder and so were you when Felix had the audacity to grab a plastic water bottle and spray it all over himself and everyone else. Even Jeongin and Hyunjin joined in on the fun and jumped up and down as they performed “LALALALA.”

You were the most soaked out of everyone in the crowd, and you were damn sure that it was intentional on Felix’s part. It wasn’t helping either when he stood right before you and grabbed the hem of his soaked tanktop and pulled it to his teeth, revealing his hard and smooth abs. A scream escaped your throat, running it dry, and all Felix could do was laugh and tease. That bastard. He knows what he’s doing.

After the show, all the fans were reluctantly leaving the venue, in denial that that the most amazing night of their lives had ended. Meanwhile, you were later escorted by the security guards and taken to the backstage. The boys were stretching and drinking the last bit of water they had.

“That was a good show, right?” Chan asked everyone.

“Hell yeah!!” Changbin hollered out.

“Felix is completely soaked now,” Hyunjin laughed, “His shirt can’t absorb any more water.”

“Oh shut up,” Felix playfully retorted. His eyes then averted to you approaching him, and he couldn’t help but admire the sight of you completely soaked in your clothes thanks to him. “Look who it is. Hey, Pumpkin.”

“Hey, Honey,” you giggled, and blushed as Felix snaked his arms around you waist and pulled you close to his wet body. You couldn’t contain the butterflies in your stomach when you felt his plush lips press against yours. The members couldn’t help but feign disgust by groaning and sticking out their tongues.

“Get a room,” Seungmin said.

“Alright, everyone, let’s give the lovebirds their space,” Chan chuckled.

The members leave the room, giving you and Felix some space. The moment you two were alone, Felix immediately kissed your neck, and you melted from his searing lips.

“How was I, Baby? I didn’t get you too soaked right?” Felix smirked, not even hiding the innuendo.

“Shut up,” you playfully rolled your eyes. “You were great. Your stage presence is always great. And yes, my clothes are very wet thanks to you.”

“Good thing you didn’t wear a white shirt. Although, maybe you should’ve.”

“Feeeellliiiiixxxxx….”

“I’m just sayin, Pumpkin…You’d look cute in a soaked white shirt.”

“You’re not too tired right?” you asked, “You were very wild on stage.”

“I’m okay. I’m just happy I have you in my arms now.”

Felix nuzzled into your neck more and kissed the sensitive skin there. You shivered, and your face was so rosy and hot. His skin was so wet and sticky with all of the water and sweat. You even touched his tanktop, and Hyunjin was right. His tanktop was made out of 90% water and 10% cotton. You smirked and decided to pull up the fabric, revealing Felix’s abs, which completely caught him off guard.

“Y/N!” he laughed, “Honey, what are you doing?”

“Just taking a peek,” you teased.

“You got plenty of peeking during the show. You even screamed.”

“Yeah, but STAYs saw it too so it don’t count.”

“Ohhh okay. I get it. You want an exclusive show?”

Felix smirked, lifted his tanktop, and completely removed it, revealing his abs once more to you. If you were being honest with yourself, it never gets old. You just loved how smooth his honey skin was, with the little freckles and moles. You loved how he flexed his muscles, and every time you laid eyes on his abs, you were hit with the urge to just bite them like it was a chocolate bar. They even look extra delectable when they’re wet too.

“Honey, you’re drooling,” Felix said.

You snapped out of your thoughts and quickly swallowed the little bit of saliva that was pouring out of your mouth. You blushed out of embarrassment.

“I wasn’t drooling….”

“Don’t deny it,” Felix chuckled, “Bet you wanna get down on your knees and—”

“Felix!!”

“Just kidding, Pumpkin.”

Felix snaked his arm around your waist, pulled you closer to him, and kissed you. The kiss was deep, hot, and you felt like the air was sucked out of your lungs. You kissed him back, pulling him closer. You ran your fingers through his wet black hair, playfully biting his lip. Felix groaned and suddenly picked you up. You hitched a breath, your legs wrapped around his waist, and Felix carried you to one of the nearest plastic tables and sat you on it.

“You looked so pretty in the crowd,” he breathed before leaning in to kiss you. “I wanted to throw myself at you.”

“You should’ve.”

“Yeah, but the security guards would’ve panicked and held me back.”

“True…”

Felix kissed you once more, and you melted immediately. Your blunt nails dug into his bare back, coaxing another groan out of him. He pulled you closer to him and kissed you harder. You moaned, loving the heat and wetness of his skin. You reached down to touch his abs, sending a shiver down his spine.

“Oh my god, Honey, you wanna kill me?”

You smirked and kissed his nose, and he immediately pushed you down on the table. A gasp escaped your lungs, and he pressed your body down against the table. Your back was up against the table top, and Felix was hovering over you, holding down your wrists. Heat was radiating off your body, and your heart was pounding so much, as if it was going to burst through your chest. Felix leaned closer to your neck—

“Alright, time’s up!!” Han said as he opened the door before jumping a little, surprised by the sight before him. “Oh my god were you two fucking?!?”

You and Felix quickly got off the table, your faces completely red and hot with embarrassment. The members were shaking their heads, but Hyunjin, Changbin, and Chan were bursting into laughter while Minho, Seungmin, and Jeongin were giving looks of disgust.

“No no no no,” Felix stammered, “We were just—”

“His shirt is even off, oh my god!!” Changbin pointed out, “Yongbokie’s gotten bold!!”

“Tsk tsk,” Seungmin sighed, mostly in a joking tone. “We should’ve known.”

“Oh come on, guys, they were showing their passion,” Chan said.

“They could’ve waited until we got to the hotel.”

“My bad,” Felix chuckled, still a little embarrassed. “I just love my baby.”

“Yes you do,” you laughed with him and pulled him close. “And I love you too.”

“Okay let’s just go back to the hotel,” Minho said, feigning disgust. “We were supposed to be there an hour ago.”

“Right,” Chan agreed.

You all then grabbed your stuff and made the move out of the stadium to go to the hotel. The entire time, Felix was still a little embarrassed by you and him getting caught by the members, but it was definitely gonna end up as one of the many highlights of the tour. Not to mention, you and Felix of course took a moment to pick up where you left off back at the hotel room later that evening.

———————————・❥・———————————

a/n: honestly, i lowkey forgot i had this in my drafts because of college lmao. but enjoy this anyway. i’m still in denial that i’m seeing them in the summer like fjejdjfjfoovgjjrjejwjdjejw. manifesting felix noticing me (he probably won’t lmao)

masterlist | taglist

[inbabylontheywept]

fyi regarding your snake story as a treat, if you have a sous vide machine, an instant pot, or even perhaps a yogurt maker, you can pasteurize raw eggs yourself in 50 to 57.5 minutes at a water temperature of 58°C (136.4°F). alternatively, you can get already pasteurized eggs (src seriouseats (.) com/how-to-pasteurize-eggs-8675279) !

i want you to imagine me as this slavering yolk soaked cave creature, skin half translucent, hair wild, eyes too big and too wide to be used for seeing, teeth too sharp to be stored in something as soft as a mouth. and it's looking at you like it is considering what would pour out of you if it picked you up and rapped you gently on the side of a bowl. perhaps more eggs. it likes eggs. and you are explaining to this beast all the ways that it could safely eat and consume eggs. you are telling it how it could use a souse video, or a pressure cooker, and you are using words like pasteurize, and the thing says pasteurize back to you, and it says it so clearly that you think it must definitely understand you, but you miss the key part, which is that it said it in your voice. it's such an easy thing to miss because your voice sounds so different when it doesn't echo all the length of your jawbone, around in all that bone. such an easy thing to miss.

that cave thing is me. all this typing, all these words, these are just my trick to get people to step closer to me, so that i can crack them open and drink their yolk. the mormons came once, and they got halfway through teaching me how to pray before i slurped them down. but if it had worked, if i had been taught how to talk with god, i'd have prayed in the dark, in my hole, until He came down to see what all the ruckus was. and then i'd have licked the marrow from His bones.

(also i just poach eggs now, it's fine, it's easy, it feels very classy.)

[margokesses]

Cannot stop thinking about thresh and reaper in the hunger games movie. Two black boys who are shown to really strong and could easily take out the other tributes. And how they're precieved as violent because of it.

But when they enter the arena they're seen as the exact opposite. The only death that we see thresh take on screen is clove bc she kept bragging about rue's death. Which we can tell hurt him bc if you look at scenes before the games he seems to be protective of her. And he could have easily killed katniss but he spares her life because katniss humanized rue.

And with reaper. We're told that he killed a peacekeeper in his district and he threatens snow but in the arena its shown that the only thing he cares about is protecting dill. He even defends her from attackers in the beginning and tells her to stick by his side.

And I cannot stop thinking about rue's death. And how although it is violent (a spear through her body) it's not shown in a grotesque way (I don't think we even see blood when she pulls it out). And with dill it's a similar situation. A girl with tuberculosis who drinks water that she doesn't know is filled with rat poison. And when she drinks it she doesn't convulse or do anything dramatic she just lays down and dies.

And I can't stop thinking about how those deaths are instantly humanized. Katniss and reaper both scream in anger when they find out about it. They cry about it. And then they instantly mourn her. Katniss stays with rue until the end and sings with her until she passes and then gathers flowers to give her a proper burial. And it's the same with dill. Reaper grabs her body (and the other tributes and removes their weapons) and he covers them with the flag of the capitol. To show that they're the cause of tributes deaths.

And then katniss and reaper bodly faces the camera and expresses disdain for what's going on. Katniss raises the 3 finger salute and reaper screams "are you gonna punish me now??"

And I cannot stop thinking about how when thresh dies you don't see any of it you just hear screams. And when marcus is in the arena he is tied up and beaten and shown as an example bc he ran away and he could have easily died a violent death from the other tributes. But he is given a mercy killing by another tribute. And when Jessup dies. It's because he has rabies from protecting Lucy gray from the bats on the train. But he also dies in a non violent way bc he was given water to scare him away and he just ends up accidently falling. And how when reaper dies its him being engulfed in snakes because he finally accepted his fate.

And idk this probably doesn't make sense bc it's currently 4am in the morning but as a Black fan I am glad that in a world where my people are constantly dehumanized and our graphic deaths are released in video format for the world to see and be desentized too....

It's nice to not see anything violent and dehumanizing about us in a series about kids dying to the death. Like everyone knows that the black kids are gonna die but they could have done something really violent with them and it's nice to not see that happen.

[niteshade925]

April 20, Beijing, China, National Museum of China/中国国家博物馆 (Part 7 – Ancient Chinese Food Culture exhibition/中国古代饮食文化展):

Happy Chinese New Year and Lunar New Year to everyone in advance! Wishing everyone success in the Year of the Snake! 祝大家蛇年吉祥，万事如意！

CNY and LNY traditions vary by region, but the one thing that is definitely shared by everyone is that there's bound to be a family feast on the Eve (which for this year will be the 28th of January), so today's post will be quite fitting. Let us begin with alcohol-related artifacts:

The Alcohol (酒/jiǔ)*:

Liao dynasty (916 - 1125) gold wine vessel, where this type of vessel is named zhihu/执壶. Typically when you see similarly shaped vessels in Chinese period dramas, wuxia or xianxia shows, or animated shows, regardless of the material, it's always a wine vessel. The detailed low relief motifs of bird and flowers was crafted using repoussé and chasing techniques, together called zanke/錾刻 in Chinese:

*Note: although in this post I will be alternating between using "wine" and "alcohol" as the translation for jiu/酒, jiu can refer to all types of alcoholic drinks, and usually a descriptor will be added before jiu to create a new word for a specific type of alcoholic beverage. For example, wine would be called putaojiu/葡萄酒 in Chinese (lit. "grape alcohol"), and cocktails would be called jiweijiu/鸡尾酒 in Chinese (lit. "cocktail alcohol"). The names of traditional Chinese alcohols are descriptive in other ways, for example baijiu/白酒 (lit. "white alcohol"; actually it's colorless) and huangjiu/黄酒 (lit. "yellow alcohol"). Beer is called pijiu/啤酒 (lit. "beer alcohol") in Chinese, where pi/啤 is a homophonic translation of the English word beer.

Liao dynasty gold wine cups decorated with gold filigree, depicting clouds and birds:

Liao dynasty gold wine jug with a short spout in the shape of a beast head. The overall shape with flat ridges arranged vertically all around the vessel is called gualeng/瓜棱 (lit. "melon ridges"), so named because it resembles the shape of a ribbed melon.

China has a long history of making and drinking alcohol, which started at around 7000 BC. In the very beginning, alcohol was only produced in small amounts, so its use was reserved for ceremonies and celebrations. From roughly Han dynasty (202 BC - 220 AD) to Northern Song dynasty (960 - 1127) was the time period during which traditional Chinese alcohol making had matured. The famous Tang-era (618 - 907 AD) drunk poet Li Bai/李白 lived during this period of time.

Warring States period (476 - 221 BC) bronze wine jug inlaid with gold and silver:

Qing dynasty (1644 - 1911) enamel wine cups:

Beishan Jiujing/《北山酒经》 or "The Classic of Wine" by Zhu Yizhong/朱翼中 of Northern Song dynasty. This book covered the history of alcohol in China, and described alcohol making methods of the time, specifically the methods used to produce alcohol on a large scale.

8 Types of bronze wine vessels from Shang (·1600 - 1046 BC) and Zhou dynasties (1046 - 256 BC):

The Tea (茶/chá):

China also has a long history of growing and drinking tea, being the country where the beverage originated from. Specifically, tea drinking first started in what is now Yunnan province, developed into a culture in Sichuan, then spread to all of China and beyond.

Qing dynasty duck-shaped tin teapot:

Qing dynasty Qianlong era (1736 - 1796) lacquered teacup, decorated with a poem by the Qianlong Emperor, the same poem as the jade gaiwan/盖碗 from the jade exhibition. The technique of decorating here is called diaoqi/雕漆, where different colored lacquer were layered onto the object, and then patterns would be carved into the thick lacquer, revealing the layers of colors.

A flowchart of the tea preparing and making process in Song dynasty (960 - 1276), called diancha/点茶, which influenced Japanese tea culture. Because of the complexity of the diancha process, it was abandoned in Ming dynasty (1368 - 1644) in favor of simply steeping tea leaves in water.

A video showing the Song-era diancha tea making process. This exact video also plays in the exhibition:

The Food (食/shí):

A Western Han dynasty (202 BC - 8 AD) small bronze hot pot, called a ranlu/染炉. Contrary to the modern Chinese hot pot where food cooked by boiling would be dipped in a bowl of room temperature condiments before eating, during Han dynasty people liked hot condiments, so this small hot pot was actually specifically for heating the condiments as people ate.

Various lacquered food containers from different dynasties.

Left: Western Han dynasty lacquered food container replica; when the original artifact was unearthed, it contained what seemed to be flatbread.

Middle: Ming dynasty 5-layered stacked lacquered food containers, held together with buttons, and decorated with diaoqi technique.

Right: Qing dynasty begonia-shaped lacquered fruit container, also decorated with diaoqi technique.

Qing dynasty tin tripod hot pot. This is a traditional Manchu hotpot, and its structure is quite similar to the classic Beijing style copper hotpot (I couldn't find anything that confirms a connection between the two, however). Both have a central chamber in the middle for charcoal (heat source), and the cooking is done in the heated water around the central chamber. The two biggest differences are the presence/absence of the tall "chimney" structure above the central chamber, and the material used. The reason this hotpot is tin may be because copper was mostly used to mint coins during Qing dynasty.

These two books were actually on display over at the Science and Technology exhibition, but I moved them here because that post was getting a bit too long. Since both books are about agriculture, they fit into this post quite well. The book on the left is Qimin Yaoshu/《齐民要术》 by Jia Sixie/贾思勰 in Northern Wei dynasty (386 - 534 AD), translated as either "Essential Techniques for the Welfare of the People" (the more accurate translation imho) or "Essential Techniques for the Peasantry". It is an encyclopedia on a wide range of agricultural and food processing techniques. The book on the right is Nongzheng Quanshu/《农政全书》 by Xu Guangqi/徐光启 in Ming dynasty, translated as "Complete Treatise on Agricultural Administration". This book is also an encyclopedia that covers agricultural techniques, but also has long sections covering what to do in response to floods and famines.

Pretty interesting and self-explanatory chart on when some crops, vegetables, and fruits were introduced to China (arranged in chronological order). As one can see here, Chinese cuisine had changed a lot over the past ~3000 years, and much of the changes took place during periods when trading activities increased and new produce were introduced. The best example of this is the introduction of hot chilis in late Ming dynasty, which directly resulted in the famous mala/麻辣 flavor profile of Sichuan cuisine and heavily influenced many other Chinese regional cuisines (Hunan cuisine, Guizhou cuisine, Anhui cuisine, etc).

A diagram explaining the seating arrangement in a palace's main hall in ancient times (top half), and the seating arrangement around a table in Southern and Northern China (bottom half). In all of these cases, the seat facing south (which also faces the entrance in traditional halls) is always reserved for the person of highest status, kind of like the seat at the head of the table. For the bottom half, the numbering indicates the order of seniority and/or inferiority (1 is the highest status).

Some examples of famous dishes from different dynasties, these are arranged in chronological order if going top to bottom, left to right:

Finally, some bonus pictures to serve as the conclusion to my brief trip to Beijing. This oil painting of the Great Wall was in the lobby of the museum, I thought it was pretty neat.

A peek at the Zhengyangmen/正阳门 gatehouse. Zhengyangmen is the southern gate (front gate) to the inner city in imperial times, today it's the only gate of the inner city that still stands.

A closeup of the Zhengyangmen gatehouse. I think the caihua/彩画 (the colorful painting on the building; also called caihui/彩绘) here had some restoration work done on it in recent years? It looks a lot more vibrant than the caihua on other historic architecture.

This is the last museum post (long post) of the 2024 China series (PHEW), and the final posts will all be fairly short, most of them about the food I've had. See y'all after CNY/LNY!

[alittlebitofloveliness]

Could you do some modern day Soda headcanons please? I love him so much and I love your blog so much soooooo….

Ok so soda is tricky for me to write but I tried my best!!!

Modern Au Sodapop Headcanons

-Drinks every single energy drink imaginable. Rockstar? Like its water. Prime? For the plot. 5 hour energy? He’ll down it in five seconds. Darry is HORRIFIED.

-Is pretty enough he’s one of those people who becomes moderately famous on TikTok without having to really do much. His followers notice he’s always talking to someone off camera, and they’re desperate to find out who it is, but Soda only ever responds to comments with ‘oh that’s just Stevie, he doesn’t like TikTok’.

-Soda’s followers have a lot of theories about this ‘Stevie’. Soda is weirdly tight lipped about him, despite the fact he often breaks off mid rant in videos to talk to him. There’s also the fact that the rest of the gang is often around/in the background of videos, but the mysterious ‘Stevie’ never appears. (okok I’ll stop here before this becomes a Stevepop social media au)

-Regularly forgets to take his ADHD meds and Darry often has to remind him

-Would either have a hockey flow or a mullet (whatever y’all think, personally I think modern Soda with a hockey flow tracks with his character)

-One of those people who loves horror movies but is also completely terrified of even the dumbest ones and has to sleep with the lights on for weeks afterwards. Steve makes fun of him for it, but will also stay up on the phone with him if Soda watches one by himself and freaks himself out

-Has a million fidget spinners because they actually help him focus on stuff when he needs to

-Soda in modern AU wouldn’t call Ponyboy ‘kid brother’ as a nickname (don’t get me wrong, I love it but Ive never heard it used irl). Instead, I think him and Darry (and thus the rest of the gang) refer to Pony as ‘shrimp’ and Ponyboy absolutely hates it  “where’s the shrimp” “he’s has track practice ‘till four, you of all people should know that Dar” (brought to you by me and my interactions with my own little brothers)

-The whole gang is super into video games, but Soda is kind of shit at them and lowkey grumpy about it

-Every teacher he’s ever had has done that thing where they expect him to be exactly like his older sibling, and therefore expect him to be a model student like Darry, and every time they are proven entirely wrong. By the time the same teachers see Ponyboy’s name on their class lists they’re terrified of what to expect

-He definitely had that horrible middle school boy stage where he just reeked of axe body spray and BO before he figured out proper hygiene

-Every two weeks him and Steve end up doing some sort of YouTube deep dive where they end up being convinced of some sort of wild conspiracy theory that Ponyboy and sometimes Darry have to spend three hours talking them out of

-Uses far too many emojis in texts

-He had a pet hamster once and you know that thing died in the most horrendous way imaginable. Two-bit probably farted into the cage at one point as a joke and the poor thing asphyxiated to death or some shit like that

-He’s that kid in group projects who does nothing and tanks the presentation for everyone by mispronouncing half the words on the slides some other group member made for him

-Him and Steve are so inseparable that when they’re not together people will be like ‘where’s your boyfriend’ and he just answers without thinking before flushing really hard and sputtering a bit. 

-One of those people that casually catches snakes with his bare hands. Steve HATES it and Ponyboy is TERRIFIED of snakes so he gets in trouble with Darry if he does it too often or brings them near the house

[khaire-traveler]

🐍 Subtle Harmonia Worship 🫒

Practice healthy conflict resolution skills; learn about what healthy conflict resolution looks like

Make peace with others; apologize to people you've wronged

Make peace with yourself; learn to forgive yourself for your past mistakes, this will take some time

Be gentle with yourself, especially when you're struggling emotionally or physically

Get a candle that reminds you of her (no altar needed)

Wear jewelry that reminds you of her

Keep a picture of her in your wallet

Practice having more empathy towards others; put yourself in their shoes, try to see from their perspective

Practice making compromises with others; we can't always have everything our way, but neither can others, and that's ok; we can try to find ways around that

Have a snake or dragon stuffed animal; have a stuffed animal of any animal you associate with peace, harmony, or balance

Have imagery of intertwined snakes, necklaces, or wine (pools); (UPG here, there's not much info on symbols) have imagery doves, olive branches, clear still water, harmony, peace, or tranquility

Taking time to ground yourself, especially if you notice that you're not feeling mentally well; focus on your breathing, notice small things in your environment, remind yourself that you are ok, etc.

Sit outside for a bit and just allow yourself to exist in your environment; listen to the bird singing, the wind through the trees - that sort of thing

Work on not engaging in gossip or drama (venting is different from gossip; please continue to seek help and support when you need it 💚)

Keep a journal about good things that happen throughout your day; try to write in it daily with just random things that made you smile or caught your attention in a positive sense

Watch videos about humans helping other humans or animals; actively seek out positive news about the world

Watch a wholesome comfort movie

Engage in random acts of kindness; complimenting others, holding the door for someone, helping someone carry something, etc.

Volunteer for any cause that strives to help others in tough situations

Donate to or support organizations that fight for human wellness/rights or animal wellness/right, or homeless and animal shelters

Cook a meal with olive oil

Cook a warm meal for someone in need; cook a meal for your loved ones

Make yourself a warm, relaxing drink to start or end the day

Instead of killing bugs, take them outside; use no-kill traps; treat your fellow creatures with mercy

Feed neighborhood cats, dogs, or birds; be kind to strays

Spend time with your loved ones

Practice walking away from heated arguments instead of engaging (inform the other person that you'd like to talk when you're both in a clearer mental space); practice taking space from intense situations when you need it

Learn more about emotional regulation; try to find healthy vents for anger and upset (this takes a lot of practice, and that's ok)

When you find that you feel happy, notice that feeling and try to sit with it for a bit; take time recognize how you feel in your body when you're happy; allow yourself to enjoy the feeling

-

I may add more later on, but we'll see! For the time being, this is my list of discreet ways to worship Harmonia. I hope it helps someone! Harmonia definitely deserves more attention than she gets. Take care, y'all! 💚

Link to Subtle Worship Master list

[ivystoryweaver]

for tender prompts: dancing to a slow jazz song after a long day of work

JAKE LOCKLEY :3

I Don't Dance

"Miles Davis drifts into the kitchen, the smooth tones soothing you instantly, while making you ache for something romantic of your own."

Thanks for this @runa-falls! Ahhhhh love it! Not me back on my "Jake listens to Miles Davis" tangent again...

for @romanarose's Oscar Issac/Pedro Pascal Fan Art and Fiction Pride Event 2024 for June 9th-15th: first time with the same sex, first kiss

1.4k words || Jake Lockley x m!reader* || flirting, roommates to lovers, slightly suggestive, vague mentions of food and drinking, language

*reader inclusivity notes: Reader wears glasses, is taller than Jake

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

Life is good…enough.

Work can be a drag, but you look forward to coming home to your roommate Jake. Usually he's worked all night, slept all day, and the two of you meet up around dinner time. You're friendly roommates, always considerately cooking and making enough food for the other, keeping the dishes clean and playing video games together.

You have the most massive crush on the smaller man. He's gorgeous, with smoldering brown eyes and luscious dark curls, with a tinge of early gray...

You've never been with a man before. Just a few failed, awkward romances with women, a few years back.

But recently you've been realizing that you're not single because you're some sort of loser, or something equally upsetting. You're single because women actually just don't interest you, not as much emotionally, and not really at all sexually.

One time you heard Jake in his room with a partner, groaning and grunting in pleasure, his muffled voice telling his lover how to take him.

That was...eye-opening.

Now you think about him all the time, but you don't know how to tell him, and worse, if you even should tell him. He's way too cute for you...right? Cute doesn't begin to cover it - the man oozes confidence...experience...smolder.

He's really nice too.

He was gone for a few days, out of town "for work" (whatever that is). When he got back, he actually gave you a quick hug. "Missed you, man." You forgot to breathe for so long, it came out like a dramatic sigh once you did.

Jake wondered if you were annoyed, but instead, asked you to play video games. The sides of your arms touched the whole time, and you had to put a pillow over your lap because your obvious…attraction.

Jake senses the tension between you and wonders if you're mad that he finished the peanut butter and didn’t buy more.

You clear your throat awkwardly, your gaze flickering away. “No, I don't think I could ever be mad at you, Jake - especially not over peanut butter.”

He hums out an ambiguous response, dragging a hand over the sexy stubble on his chin. "You must've missed me then." His eyebrows shoot up playfully.

God you want him so bad.

As if your greeting hug and video-game-a-thon weren't enough, work the next day couldn't go worse. Sometimes you feel invisible to colleagues and especially to your boss, who seems to have completely ignored your inquiry about an open management position. After a day of being overlooked and passed over, you’re so done.

You finally make it home, drenched from a sudden shower that seemed to wait until you walked out of work to start, and decided to stop as soon as you made it through your front door. Shedding your wet jacket, you stamp your feet on the mat just inside the door, yanking off your fogged up glasses so you can wipe them clean.

Unfortunately, rain does not look good on you the way it does on Jake. If he comes home wet, he's something out of a noir film, removing his cap, pushing those long fingers through his perfectly damp, thick curls - droplets of water making his long lashes shine as they kiss his cheeks. Rivulets of rain snake down the corded thickness of his throat, disappearing into his deliciously drenched white shirt, which hugs the shape of his body temptingly.

Must be nice.

Maybe you can make it to your room before he sees you looking like a wet rat.

You shower and make yourself presentable enough, moving around your home quietly, afraid your pathetic-ness will somehow repel your roommate - secretly crushed that Jake doesn't interact with you for an hour or so. Maybe he doesn't notice how brutal your day was.

A delicious aroma wafts down the hall from the kitchen a while later and you realize Jake is cooking dinner. Deciding you'd rather be in his presence than mope in your room, you venture out to interact. Dinners with Jake are the highlight of your life after all - that is, when you're not sitting with him, touching him, playing games together.

Squeezing your eyes shut, you steady yourself, remembering to take things one day at a time. He might not even be into guys. Or you specifically.

Jake looks up as you enter the kitchen, dark eyes brightening, but somehow immediately softening at your apparent distress. Your shoulders sag in defeat even as you put on a brave face to greet him.

Usually he leaves you alone when you're quiet, assuming you prefer it that way, but after you sat together all last night, he thought maybe...

Setting down a wooden spoon and reducing the heat underneath a sizzling skillet, he turns to you, and your heart races as you realize he's giving you his full attention. It's not helping that he's wearing an apron - that sight alone might kill you.

"You okay?" Dark eyebrows arch curiously as he boldly inches forward.

Blowing out an exhale through your lips, you quickly nod, realizing that simple inquiry means more to you than anything.

Reaching out to grasp your forearm, he peers up at you earnestly. "Hey...talk to me."

You force a smile as your 'brave face' wavers. "Just a shit day. Nothing really."

He pulls a face of his own - a smirk curling the corner of his kissable lips. He's got to stop doing that or you're going to fall head over heels. (Too late).

"Okay, then," he relents, meandering over a few cabinets to where you keep the booze. Jake pours you a drink to settle your nerves, presenting it to you with a comedic flourish, as if you are his liege lord and he's your servant. Eh, probably just a fantasy of yours...

You chuckle, muttering, "thanks," as he brushes past you, disappearing into the living room to turn on the record player. Jake is a mystery, but his collection of albums might be the most sexy thing about him.

Miles Davis drifts into the kitchen, the smooth tones soothing you instantly, while making you ache for something romantic of your own.

You toss your drink back in a couple of long gulps, hoping to gain some proverbial liquid courage as Jake returns to his task, reaching for the wooden spoon to stir.

"Thanks for the drink," you say, bravely moving closer, bumping arms with him. "Need some help?"

Setting the spoon back down, he turns a smoldering gaze your way. "Dance with me."

You almost choke. "Wh-what?"

"You heard me." He roughly whispers. Tugging at the string of his apron, he pulls it loose and sets it on the countertop, leaving him in a tight, white t-shirt and joggers which rest on the swell of his hips. Offering his hand, he repeats, "Dance with me."

Your body responds, seemingly without permission from your brain as you take his waiting hand - the contact zinging up your arm, electrifying you. "I-I don't dance."

He hums out a knowing chuckle, eyes sparkling at the challenge. "Everybody can dance, here." Boldly gripping your hand, he eases your arm around his waist, giving you an out before going too far. "Stop me if I fuck this up." He pulls you closer than you expected, his breath ghosting your cheek.

"Jake..."

"Am I getting this wrong?" He asks you seriously, sounding a bit nervous - his voice pinched even as he possessively cinches you closer. "I...want you and I feel like you want me too, but...fuck, if I'm wrong, please don't kick me out."

You can't believe this is truly happening. How is this man actually real - how is he touching you, saying these things? And moreover, why are you not responding?

Afraid you might cry or something humiliating, a breathless laugh rushes out of you, cutting the tension. "I'm not gonna kick you out."

Soulful jazz crescendos, soothing the surge of worries threatening to ruin this moment, and before you can overthink - as you do - you pull him closer. "Come here..."

Your heart stops when he lays his head on your chest, almost causing you to forget to dance, but you realize, in that moment, that you trust his lead. You believe his words - at least your body does, and you sway to the music, moving in synchrony with this man you adore.

And as you wonder if the stars have aligned and you might really have a chance with him, he tilts his head up and presses his mouth to yours.

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

Jake Lockley-Centric stories

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