#Simmons and portals to an alien world

[backintheblackparade]

Holy crap the foreshadowing in Agents of Shield 1x09 is insane

[friends-to-lovers-tournament]

Y’all accepting propaganda? Cause I got PLENTY for Fitzsimmons:

They met at sixteen in college. They are, to this day, collectively referred to as top of their class (though iirc, Fitz claims Simmons is smarter because she likes homework more than life itself)

During said time in college, they somehow turned plants into explosives. Simmons rambles about how happy she is with this result right in front of a superior officer (Phil Coulson), as Fitz tries to shush her so they don’t get in trouble.

They do not get in trouble. They get recruited to fieldwork. Fitz sees this as marginally worse. Simmons keeps trying to get him to like it

Simmons gets infected with an alien virus. They spend an entire episode on opposite sides of a glass wall, trying to cure it before it’s too late for her.

Fitz eventually says “screw it” and goes in with her, because damn it if she tries to cure this alone

She throws herself out a plane so she doesn’t infect him. He almost jumps out after her without a parachute

They get trapped at the bottom of the ocean together. They discuss death. She says she’s glad she’s with him. He confesses while sacrificing himself to save her.

He’s so devoted to her. She kisses him on the cheek once, and you can literally see the moment he decides he loves her. He nearly drowns so that she can breathe. She goes missing on the other side of the universe—he jumps through a portal, and drags her back by the tips of his fingers.

It’s mutual. She can’t bear to watch him suffer. She runs into his arms any chance she gets. She risked mind and body to drag him out of a world where he didn’t belong. She would rather have let him kill her than imagine a life without him. She searches space for him for a year on just a feeling that he might be out there—and she was right

Their proposal is so funny. He makes this heartfelt speech about how time, space, and even death can’t stop them, and then it turns out she can’t hear him.

I say it was funny, but it was gut-wrenching at first

That same episode, she proposes in the middle of a gunfight. They bicker over who proposed first while dragging their concussed friend to safety

The wedding? Rushed. Coulson claims that any hesitation is playing with fire. He’s absolutely right.

They have an episode located entirely in a shared mindspace. Their darker halves end this episode tearing each other’s clothes off

Multiple superior officers, upon hearing their name, thought they were a singular person. They later named their daughter after a binary star—two stars that shine so bright, they look like one

yes we're accepting propaganda via asks and submissions! forgot to mention this before but let us know if you'd like us to use your propaganda for the next round of polls if your ship makes it through :)

also this is really cute i especially love that their superiors thought they're one person lmao thank you for submitting!

[mostlygibberish]

I liked the part with the total disregard of all logic.

A movie in which not one single thing to do with its internal logic or the given explanations for why things are happening makes any sense at all.

Basically some committee at Amazon, or more likely an algorithm, decided to steal bits and pieces of actually good sci-fi properties and use them to garnish "What if we sent Chris Pratt into Fortnite because those things are popular right now, oh and also slap some climate change stuff on there too because that's a hot-button issue."

Let's start with what it did well. J.K. Simmons was in it. I had fun watching it because it was unimaginably stupid. That concludes the "what it did well" segment of my review.

I'm not sure where I could fit this in, so I'll just say it here: At one point their television has a graphical glitch because time travellers are about to appear from the future and everyone watching it recoils in fear. They aren't reacting to the time portal opening, because it hasn't happened yet, they're just terrified that the signal on their TV is a little janky.

Now for the meat and potatoes of this movie's many issues, and bear with me here because this makes no fucking sense. They go into the future to stop the aliens. Then while in the future, they develop a virus that kills all the aliens, but everyone in the future dies just before the main character travels back to the past with the virus.

All good so far right? They've stopped the extinction. Humanity is now alive and well 30 years before the aliens will arrive on Earth, with the virus that kills the aliens. At this point the main character laments that he has failed to save humanity, because everyone died thirty years in the future, and that there's nothing anyone here in the past can do to kill the aliens that haven't arrived yet and are easily killed by the virus they possess.

???

Then they enlist a high school student to help them send eight people to go kill all the aliens using the virus they possess. They decide against informing any world government of their plan or asking for any assistance, because this was made by Amazon, so the only thing world governments can do is take credit for the accomplishments of the private sector, which of course they do at the end.

If any of that made sense to you then go right ahead and enjoy this procedurally generated mishmash of utter nonsense. It's garbage.

[okkayakk]

Did anyone else think May's ending for the finale was stupid?

Welcome to my TedTalk.

(No hate to creators, just my opinion...although I think they could have ended it better on several other things besides just this)

Background:

Let me get rhis straight, Bahrain happens, she's in a desk job for five years, she gets back together with her ex, he has a fakeout death, he turns into a literal monster (permanently eventually), then he really dies, she turns into a robot and is trapped in the past living a false reality, comes back, an old Robyn dies in front of her after telling her that she was her surrogate mom (sorta), she gets together with her dying bestfriend, then he dies, then he comes back as a clone/alien, then he kills/throws her into a portal, she goes to some alien world, then she dies, then she comes back to life with empathy powers while not feeling her own, her dead bestfriend/lover comes back as robot Coulson, robot Coulson is unsure if he'll power off or if he'll see her again, and then May quits Shield and becomes a freaking teacher.

And I get it, ya'll are gonna say "but it really comes full circle because uh teacher uh Bahrain uh dead friends uh etc." But come on, look how much she lost after rejoining shield just to become a teacher whose literally lost all of the people closest to her and can only see her old team once annually. She got nothing.

Like here's a run down of endings though:

Simmons: With Fitz, retired, daughter

Fitz: With Simmons, retired, daughter

Mack: Director of Shield (even though he wanted to quit and retire), with yoyo

Yoyo: With Mack, Highly decorated agent

Daisy: With Sousa, new sister, agent in space

Robot Coulson: Dead, robot, probably gonna shut down forever

Coulson: Got to live out his days with May, died in peace

May: Teacher

S1-S7 = Desk Job to Teacher! Wow we've really come full circle! *Sarcasm*

Now tell me guys, which ending is the worst?

-

This part gets a bit ranty so apologies

Coulson/May

Now here's the thing, I think May and Coulson should have gotten together in the end. I really don't care for their relationship (like I don't really ship them much), but it logically makes sense to me that they would end up together...but they didn't. Here's why this is complete idiocracy. I know a lot of you really like FitzSimmons, and Dousy...so I'm going to make my argument using these couples. I keep hearing lot of the FitzSimmons shippers say "it was a great ending, stop complaining people who ship May and Coulson." Here's my response: Would if the show ended with season 5 and Fitz died? Ya'll would be flipping out right now. And as far as Daisy and Sousa...they put them together in I kid you not half a season. They also literally gave Daisy a sister in like 4 episodes too. How does this make sense creators? Ya'll legit developed May and Coulson for 7 years....and nothing? And then they say "Oh well, write fanfiction! Oh well, she can't be with a robot, she's dissapointed about it...but it reAlLy cOmeS fULl ciRcle ya know." Let me just say this again-you guys put Daisy and Sousa together in half a season, gave Daisy a sister in 4 episodes, and gave FitzSimmons a child in an episode (She cute though)....and ya'll seriously won't drag Coulson out of an alternate timeline and put them together or something? I'd even be fine if she ended up with Andrew alternatally! Also robot Coulson could have said at the end "I'll definitely be seeing you soon" instead of "oH mAyBe I will see you if I don't sHuT mySELF DoWn bEfoRe tHen, but good luck teaching with your unresolved powers!"

Here's where I really get annoyed with this point ^

Season 6 is absolutely pointless in terms of relationship development. Should have cut Sarge completely. Should have changed the whole story completely! And I hear people say "oh well it was May's season to move on from Coulson." Hmmmm I seem to remember her being pretty great and talking a lot more at the beginning of s6. Hmmmm I seem to remember her dying because of him and waking up all mental with weird powers. Like the end of s7 made me despise s6 completely. Absolutely pointless for any of it. I know they wanted to keep the actor, but what was that season even? The buildup doesn't make sense for the end in any way at all. She came into Shield damaged with losses, and she came out of it with even more losses!

Sorry for the long rant.

Does anybody else feel like this?

[ryder616]

Rewatching Purpose in the Machine

FitzSimmons have the worst luck and are constantly torn apart by crazy. But that’s the half-empty glass narrative. Because they also keep finding each other again, despite the crazy, and sometimes have the dumbest luck.

I mean, take this episode:

Fitz jumps into the literal unknown and

is not vaporized by radiation or killed by any other unhealthy thing that might happen to a human body travelling through a wormhole.

There’s an actual planet on the other side.

Atmosphere, pressure, gravity and temperature are all compatible with human life (from the sand all he could really deduce is that the Monolith had opened in some place where at some point there had been oxigen to combine with silicon).

There aren’t other immediately lethal environmental hazards.

Nor trigger happy locals who could take exception to the sudden appearance of a hairless primate.

The English scientist he is looking for, who has been lost for six months, has not only managed to survive against some pretty hefty odds but happens to be outside and in running distance when they open the portal and send the flare through.

He has a friend with just the right kind of superpowers who doesn’t let ruptured blood vessels and other such trivialities deter her when lives are on the line.

So they may not be lucky. But they aren’t exactly unlucky either. 😉 

Daring Engineering:

The last time Fitz was faced with the possibility of living in a world without Simmons, he gave her the only oxygen. This time, he’d rather be lost forever where she might be than go on without her. I’m sensing a pattern. 

In his desperation he also endangers Daisy’s life (well, more than it would have been anyway), as she goes from prepping to test her limits with a probe “nobody cares about” to going beyond them for her friends’ sake with no advanced warning. She’d agreed to it in a heartbeat but he is so focused on Jemma’s rescue that nothing else seems to factor in, including practicalities like making sure life is indeed possible on the other side of the portal.

She’s Got the Powers:

Daisy resonates with the Castle’s room to generate a subsonic frequency to create a quantized field within the Monolith that activates it and eventually shatters it when she loses control of the pitch. Or something like that. 🤪😂 Luckily for a certain pair of incorporeal body-snatchers, everyone’s going to forget all about it. 😈(sorry, not sorry. We all have our hills, and this is mine. 😁)

Major props to the Hydra cultists who figured out how to work the Monolith without modern physics theories, only rudimentary technology at their disposal and no vibrokinetic hackers around.

Stuff that crossed my mind:

Our best minds are working to understand this. But as far as we know, in all of history, no one has ever returned. It’s alright, that translates into 100 % chance of success in FitzSimmons. 😁

I think Joey’s a real candidate. -- Sure. He’s Inhuman. But doesn’t meet my criteria. -- He’s a decent guy and you know it. We never got to hear what Mack’s criteria were but I suppose “able to control his power” was the major one, because otherwise, what’s wrong with Joey?

It’s Fitz! Fitz broke into containment! Guys, relax, it’s called empirical research. With just a dash of suicidal flair to keep it interesting. 😁

Don’t die out there. -- And Hunter, make sure he does. This is attempt # 5 to kill Ward, after each of the Bus Kids had a go at it and May couldn’t follow through with hers because Bobbi’s extraction took obvious priority.

The nightly news, cities flying into the atmosphere, government task forces, and now the public is freaking out about alien outbreaks. Well, it’s less depressing than our nightly news.... 

I really wanted to hear what excuse Coulson might have spinned for the prison guards.🙁

How’s May? Where is she? Is she ever coming back? All excellent questions. Apparently the answers are “fine but troubled”, “Sun City, Arizona” and “Eventually yes, because she’s still in the main credits”.

PSA: Melinda May has the best parents, redux.

Why come to me? I’m no interstellar travel expert. I’ve never even studied gravitational lensing or zero-point energy fields or quantum-harmonic oscillation theory. -- Yet you know all those words you just said. Hey, maybe he reads a lot of hard sci-fi?

So we know nothing of its origin. -- Kree, maybe. [...] the Monolith changed hands a lot. Germanic tribes, spent the Hundred Years’ war in France. But before the Napoleon era, it was moved again. I lost track of it somewhere in -- England. And after that it ended up buried by an unknown party in the Yucatan where at some point S.H.I.E.L.D. dug it out and then loaded it on the Iliad (not necessarily in quick succession).

Good thing I dropped by -- Why’s that? -- I’m an exterminator. And a walking action movie one liners generator, apparently.

So, I was here admiring the stone work. Randolph used to be a mason on Asgaard, before joining the Berserker Army.

This is why I got rid of all the S.H.I.E.L.D. logos on our vehicles. It’s like screaming for attention. So nothing to do with the fact that S.H.I.E.L.D. was labeled a terrorist organization and is still quite illegal?

There’s a ginormous eagle symbol on top of our jet. -- Yeah, sometimes I can’t help myself with the cool. Dork. 🤗

You want to fight fire with fire. I get it. But you can’t be reckless about it. All these people who transform have the potential to turn into monsters. But the team you do have has that danger, as well. [...] Coulson’s desperate to win on any front. But desperation leads to mistakes. Giving Hunter carte blanche to get payback, letting Fitz try to open a portal to save one life, these are questionable decisions. Nice foreshadow-y overview for the season, there, Dr. Garner.

When I changed, I felt like a monster. I needed help. This is a chance to show people they have a place to belong. [...] I want Inhumans taking action with S.H.I.E.L.D., to see that being different can mean making a difference. I’ll be over here, swooning for a bit. And also crying, because, dammit S3. She was so full of passion and you had to wreck her. 😥

You put on skates at 7 years old, and you didn't take them off until five years later. A natural. -- I was obsessed with Dorothy Hamill. Buffy Summers was also a talented ice-skater in her childhood and equally obsessed with Dorothy Hamill. Ice-skaters kick ass. Obviously.

You expecting company? -- No, but I'm not afraid of the prospect. 🤣

Mack, I need you to load something onto Zephyr 1 and bring it to us. -- What exactly am I bringing, sir? -- Yeah, you're not gonna like it. And now I wanted to see Mack’s face at the news.🙁

[Ward] sees your face, you’re made. -- If he’s close enough to see my face, then I’m close enough to put a bullet in his. It seems like Hunter agrees with Simmons that it’s better to aim for the face. 😁

If we were realistic, we never would have gotten this far. You should have this engraved on every wall of every S.H.I.E.L.D. base ever, Phil.

[Andrew] says I’m reckless. [...] He said you’re desperate. Coincidentally, both adjectives apply to Fitz quite well at the moment.

That pulsing sound was killing me. -- What pulsing sound? -- Are you serious? It was deafening. More evidence that Daisy has an extra “sense” now that regular humans don’t. Or enhanced hearing I guess, but I’m going with option one.

We’ll fix the machine, Turbo, but you got to chill. [...] How are we supposed to fix a machine we don’t know how it works? Mack needs sheet music (2x02). 😉

Come on. Brought tacos. Hey, here’s one way Ward’s better than Garrett. When he says he has brought tacos, he apparently means it and doesn’t have a loaded gun hidden in the bag instead (1x21). 😁

I just want to have a normal life, dad, away from S.H.I.E.L.D. I want to see if I can. -- Normal? With a handgun in your golf bag? Apparently (thank you, Google) Arizona was named the “best state to own a gun” in 2016 by the magazine “Gun and Ammo” and you can carry most handguns without a permit there. So a handgun in a golf bag doesn’t sound all that abnormal for the place. And now excuse me while my European self freaks out over American gun laws (or lack thereof). 😱 😉

My daughter always got back up. Yeah, she does. Hopefully, she’ll also be able to not have to keep doing it over and over anymore. Seriously, S7, you’ve got to do right by May.

Hydra’s fractured, in pieces. We’re gonna rebuild it. The right way. Ward’s taking a page from Coulson who at the end of in S1 set out to rebuild S.H.I.E.L.D. the “right” way but it’s like a page he picked up from the ground after it had been torn, stepped on, and dirtied by muddy water. It’s really tragic how much energy and skill Ward put in endeavours that only ever brought more death and misery into the world.

Wait. That’s the point. Quantum harmonic oscillation theory, like the professor said. [...] It’s a strange shape for this time period because it’s made to resonate to create a quantized field within the stone. And look whose ears are perking up at the word “resonate”. Totally exactly like it never happened in S6.😈

Fitz, you’re talking, but we’re not totally following. Speak for yourself. Daisy’s following.

The room is a speaker. The machine is an amplifier. A subsonic frequency to resonate with the Monolith. -- You saying you figured out a way to fix the machine? -- No. I’m saying I figured out  -- We don’t have to. I can do it. I can open the portal myself. See? Following and arriving at the same place.

All right, you listen to me. You take care of yourself. We lose that probe, nobody cares. Good, checking what’s on the other side first while Daisy tests her limits. Sound plan.

Hold it open as long as you can [Fitz jumps in]. I guess we’re going with the “hoping my theory about the portal is correct and it doesn’t open into something that’ll kill me, Simmons is in shouting distance and my superpowered friend doesn’t die now that it’s not a probe but her two best friends’ lives depending on her” plan instead, huh?🤣

You did good, Tremors. You did good. Aw, Mack...all that Real S.H.I.E.L.D. business? Totally forgiven. 🤗 🤗

We brought a woman back from the dead today. That makes three actual or metaphorical resurrections so far, by my count. Four if we count Fitz waking up from a coma (and why not). I get it now, all the fridging in the season was needed to balance the scale! 😁

Agent Coulson. What exactly is Daisy? -- They call themselves Inhumans. -- I have not heard that word in a very long time. Oh, this sounded intriguingly foreboding. Too bad he won’t ever be around again to elaborate.

[ellsey]

Agents of Shield Rewatch 3x02 Purpose In the Machine

Ah yes, I remember this one well. Let’s get to it.

Whee an old timey flashback

Starring our favorite space rock!

I thought Bobbi as wiping tears off Fitz’s face, but it just turned out to beeee...ALIEN SAND!!

Also I like how Fitz is all business but also he’s a hungry boy

Goodness Lance Hunter is looking a treat too

Ward is looking as evil as ever

Haha I kind of love Professor Randolph

Andrew is approving no one which...SHOCK

Except not

May and her dad are also hilarious

But something is up with May and Andrew obvs

“To the plane!” I like how he was all caught up in the moment because same

Oh yes, this little poop. He kind of deserves what Ward is doing. Eh.

I love that May was a figure skater. 

But I also love the way she goes at Hunter hahaha

Hunter gave May some sage advice surprise surprise

I’m into the steampunk aesthetic in the portal room

Fitz is very single-minded which I don’t mind at all

Oi this Werner kid is the worst for realsies

Oh look, it’s the old “I brought tacos” ploy

We all know where Ward learned that

I feel May here. Things can hurt much more when you get older.

#wegetup

If you know anything about figure skating and USFSA that will make sense

Daisy is so brave we don’t deserve her

Fitz: Let’s just send a probe in and look around

Also Fitz: YEET

Oh the joy at hearing Jemma’s voice

For me and Fitzy

I was so sure we were just going to get a close call here and I was going to cry for weeks on end

That did not happen!

But also if only I knew what was to come

At any rate we get a happy ending for now

YAY

Also bless Mack for taking care of Daisy here

FITZ’S FACE IS SUCH A DELIGHT I CAN’T DEAL

Also May looks so happy bless

Hahaha Lance is the kind of hypeman I need in my life

Jemma there, waking up scared with a shiv, is so tragic

But seeing her find comfort in Fitz is amazing

But also none of this makes sense considering what happened on Maveth but that’s a complaint for another episode

Werner wants in Andrew’s class for purely academic reasons I’m sure

Really, this was a great episode if only because we got Simmons back. But there were also other great interactions. Mack get’s a 10/10 on the Supportive Older Brother/Spy Partner scale. Daisy gets a 2000000/10 on the Too Good for This World Scale. Fitz gets a 500/10 on the I Would Do Anything For Love scale. And Simmons get the inaugural “I Was Stranded On an Alien Planet and All I Got Was This Sorry Shiv” award. Welcome back.

The song for this episode is “Sleeping to Dream” by Jason Mraz because it screams Fitzsimmons and also I thought of it because of the sleepy Jemma-ness. 

[heckyeahjeopardy]

30 DAY JEOPARDY CHALLENGE

Day 25 - Favorite Theory?

I’m gonna say two theories. I’m not sure which of these is my favourite but the first one is that, when Harry and Lucy travel through the portal back in time to where it all began they travelled to the wrong timeline or an alternate universe. There are a few things that give credence to this theory:

Some of them are all wearing very similar but also different clothes than they were originally wearing on what is supposed to be the same day as Mr. Simmons announced they’d be going on the trip.

Shona’s character is the complete opposite of how she’s always been. She was no way good friends with Chrissie when the series started out. Shona is kind and extremely caring but when they supposedly travel back threw time she goes as far as calling Lucy “loopy”. Real Shona would never do that. And I feel like some of the others, such as David and Sarah wouldn’t have reacted the way they did to Harry and Lucy’s arrival.

The fact that Lucy gets red-eye proves that they can’t have changed their own past. There is no way the group in the final episode would have gone to Australia after seeing all those tapes. If they had prevented everyone from going on the trip, Lucy would never have gotten the red-eye virus in the first place.

The fact that there are versions of Harry and Lucy from what is supposedly their own past suggests that following the advice of the aliens didn’t turn out as planned. Or maybe the aliens knew all along that, like Lucy said to Simon in 3x09, “If Sarah and David try to save us they'll be changing the past. No one can change the past. We can only try to change the future.” And Lucy’s been pretty good at predicting things. The girl literally has prophetic dreams. We don’t know when or if they stopped.

The second theory is the ‘Lucy’s Dream Theory’. Lucy is a character who is very much connected to dreams. As mentioned above she is the main character to have prophetic dreams in season 2. I remember how vividly she dreamed of Mr. Simmons’ whereabouts. What if her dreams are reality and reality is actually her dreams. I could go on so many tangeants with this theory and I need to think it over more.

If this is true then I believe the dream started just before Mr. Simmons announced they’d be going on a trip- in that case the scene at the end would be the real announcement. Perhaps Lucy never had friends so she imagined having them. As the story comes to a close she gets more and more panicky perhaps because she’s waking up and at the end, when she gets red-eye, that could symbolize her either waking up or choosing to retreat into her dream world and stay there.

The thing that really makes me think that it all might be Lucy’s dream is when she has a breakdown and says: “I was just trying to think. But it wouldn’t work...Have you ever woken up from a dream, and as you open your eyes, somewhere between asleep and awake you feel like it’s real?” And then Harry says, “Yeah, and you panic ‘cause you don’t know where you are.” And then Lucy continues, “That’s exactly it. Except now, instead of being asleep and feeling like it’s real, I’m awake and feel like I’m dreaming.” And later Harry says, “Maybe none of this is real. Maybe they just want to make us believe it is.” Could her subconscious be trying to tell her something here?

[anneapocalypse]

Chorus Rewatch: Season 13: The Temples & Dr. Grey

Crossposted from dreamwidth. Back in the spring, I did a full rewatch of the Chorus Trilogy with the purpose of studying its worldbuilding more closely. This series of posts is from that rewatch.

There are going to be several posts for this season, because we get a ton of worldbuilding clues in 13, and there is just so much to unpack. So I wanted to start with the thing that pushed me to do a full rewatch in the first place (aside from wanting to take my shiny new blu-rays for a spin): a line of dialogue I caught while listening in on the RT TV stream a couple weeks ago. I’d never picked up this one line, buried in a block of very fast talking by Dr. Grey, and it had me wondering what else I might have missed.

To investigate the alien temple Charon’s been studying, yes dear, you told me on the radio. Not surprising, really; emerged from the ground shortly after UNSC pulled out, never did anything sadly but that doesn’t mean that they won’t! Thankfully, I spent time brushing up on their history in between college internships.

I’m posting this whole because the rest is going to be important later, but first let’s look at the biggest “Wait, WHAT?” buried in the middle.

“[the temples] emerged from the ground shortly after UNSC pulled out”

WOW. OKAY.

Let’s unpack this.

So, Chorus was chosen for colonization due to its high concentration of alien artifacts, but at the time of colonization, the temples were under the ground. The UNSC later abandoned Chorus (which I assume means they withdrew funding and material support for the colonization mission), leaving the colonists to fend for themselves. It was only after the UNSC withdrew that the towers rose out of the ground and into the sky.

So, I have one big question here.

WHY?

And I mean that in a Doylist sense sense as well as a Watsonian.

This phenomenon is never mentioned again by any other character, yet we have no reason to doubt Dr. Grey’s word on this; she is demonstrably the resident expert, so I think we have to take it as canon. But what a weird curveball of a piece of a canon. So the whole time the UNSC were trying to extract useful artifacts from Chorus, the towers were… underground. Presumably they were detectable, the colonist just couldn’t do anything with them. And then after the UNSC pulled out, the towers emerged from the ground.

What an Event that must have been.

Again, the big question is why. What triggered this event? Unfortunately, we’ll probably never have a canon answer to that, so it’s anyone’s guess. One possibility is that the towers were activated simply by the planet’s population reaching a critical mass, which happened to occur only after the UNSC withdrew support. Another possibility is that with UNSC oversight gone, the colonists disregarded safety protocols and became more aggressive in their excavation efforts and managed to trigger something. Personally, I’d lean toward the latter as it’s more interesting, but your mileage may vary.

Anyway, we don’t know exactly when the UNSC pulled out of Chorus, only that it happened before the beginning of the war. But that line about Dr. Grey studying the towers’ history is important also. Back in season 12, Dr. Grey comments on her experience with alien archeology:

Sarge: Plasma?

Grey: Alien energy source. I've seen it countless times in archaeological digs.

Simmons: Wait, I thought you were a surgeon?

Grey: I have an IQ of 240. A prodigy can only cut people open so many times before she needs to find a hobby!

So alien technology is Dr. Grey’s hobby, kind of a special interest of hers, and she appears to be quite knowledgeable about it. Dr. Grey is also a doctor, specifically a surgeon, and she doesn’t say anything about not finishing medical school so we can assume she did. I’m going to say she probably got her doctorate before the civil war consumed the whole planet, because by the time we meet Chorus, whole cities are abandoned and institutions of higher education probably haven’t survived the war. And even if she breezed through medical school (she is, as she reminds us, a genius), it takes some time to get that degree. She also told us back in 12 that during grad school she volunteered at a remote research facility designed to study wildlife. Emily certainly kept herself busy during her education.

Even if we want to say Dr. Grey completed her medical degree in half the usual time, we’re still looking at 4-5 years of study and that before the war got so bad that institutions broke down. She was in college when she studied the history of the temples on her own time. Their history. In order for a thing to have history, it has to have been around for a while, so I’d say that the temples must have emerged from the ground at least a few years before Emily was “brushing up on their history.”

Putting all that together, it’s a rough estimate but I’d say the Event of the temples’ emergence has to have been, at minimum, maybe twelve years ago.

But that's not our only clue.

A couple of Fed soldiers remark on having visited the temples as tourist attractions when they were kids. If they’re around 18 years old, that’s probably at bare minimum, six years ago; potentially more like 8-12 years. And by that time, the Event has slipped into the realm of History, and the towers have gone from potential threats to scientific curiosities to tourist traps. I would note that no one except Dr. Grey, who spent time studying the temples’ history, even mentions the Event of their emergence. To the young soldiers of the Federal Army and the New Republic, they’ve just always been there. That, to me, pushes the Event back even further; 20 years begins to sound like a more reasonable minimum than 10.

There’s one more clue I want to pull in here, also involving Dr. Grey. When Carolina’s team goes out to the coordinates shown to them at the Temple of Arms, they find themselves at the jungle temple with the mysterious portal that will test them to find a true warrior. (Temple of Trials, seriously why didn’t they canonically call it the Temple of Trials? It’s a perfect name!)

At this temple, Grey remarks, “The government spent ample time studying these relics and we’ve only been here a few hours!” When Tucker asks if they made any progress, Grey replies, “Actually they got fed up and abandoned all of their work!” On cue, the camera cuts to some crates bearing a note that says: “Will return in:” with a handwritten “FUCK YOU!”

Originally, I had assumed this was the UNSC, based on all the other dialogue we get about the UNSC abandoning Chorus. But in light of Dr. Grey’s remarks about the temples emerging after the UNSC’s withdrawal, this now presents a problem. If this temple was hidden underground during the UNSC’s colonization of Chorus, how could they have been inside the temple studying it? I mean, you could probably make up something about the UNSC excavating around the buried structure and getting inside it, but I’d say the simplest explanation is that Dr. Grey is referring not the UNSC but to the government of Chorus.

(The other explanation is that, well, Miles made a mistake and contradicted his own lore, but uh. We’re trying to get a watsonian reading here, so we’ll ignore that one for now.)

So, here’s a quick sequence of events:

UNSC surveys Chorus and discovers evidence of alien artifacts.

UNSC colonizes Chorus.

UNSC withdraws from Chorus, leaving colonists to fend for themselves.

Alien temples emerge from the ground and into the sky.

The Chorus government studies the temples but makes no progress in activating them further.

Emily Grey studies the history of the temples in between college internships.

Chorus descends into civil war.

Malcolm Hargrove hires Locus and Felix to perpetuate the civil war.

The New Republic hires Felix, paying him in nonfunctional alien weapons excavated from the ground.

The Federal Army hires Locus.

Vanessa Kimball is promoted to an officer rank.

Vanessa Kimball succeeds to the position of General.

The Hand of Merope crashes on Chorus with the Reds and Blues aboard.

These are, obviously, not the only events we know about, nor the only timeline clues we have, but this is about all I can say for certain in terms of what happens in what order. If I put in just about anything else, I’d have to take something out, for lack of clarity as to order. For example, I can say with a fair amount of confidence that Donald Doyle succeeded to the position of General after Locus was hired by the Federal Army, but I can’t say for sure whether he became General before or after Kimball did. I would guess after, but I don’t have specific canon to back that up other than the fact that Doyle just… seems less experienced.

But the upshot of what we’re looking at her is that it has been quite a few years since the UNSC pulled out and the temples emerged from the ground. I would say at least 20 years is reasonable, honestly. Enough time for Emily Grey’s life and the world of Chorus as a whole to drastically change several times over, and enough time for the temples themselves to become mundane curiosities in the public view.

[secretlystephaniebrown]

Back to Prison: 5/5

Summary: The Tartarus makes good things hard to hang onto. So when a couple of mercenaries offer Wash his freedom, he can’t help but think it’s worth whatever price they might ask. Even if it brings him into direct conflict with the Reds and Blues once again.

Mercenary Wash AU.

And here we are, at the end of things! Thank you SO MUCH to everyone who's read, commented, left a kudos, or reblogged or liked on Tumblr! This has been a very fun journey, and I hope you all had nearly as much fun as I did!

One last special thanks to @jomeimei421 for drawing the art that started it all, and @sroloc--elbisivni for being a brilliant beta!

Also on Ao3

“Your turn, Wash,” Felix says, after he comes out of the true warrior test. Something about Felix is jittery, more manic than usual, after that. Locus is silent, pensive, and preoccupied, far too busy talking to Chrissie about setting up the trap to pay attention to them.

“Not a chance,” Wash says. He’s seen the men come out, terrified out of their minds, having lived their worst nightmares.

Wash’s nightmares are a lot worse than any of theirs.

Felix laughs, and Wash’s skin crawls. He reaches for his knives on instinct, and barely manages to stop himself from doing something truly, dangerously stupid.

“I wasn’t asking.”

There’s the thing about Felix that Wash understands. Felix doesn’t respect people, at least not in the way that people normally mean. Everyone, everything, is disposable to him. The closest thing to respect is whatever Locus has.

Wash is a tool, a pawn in Felix’s games.

And, ever since Tucker’s escape…

Wash feels like he’s become just slightly more disposable of one.

But being shoved, head first, into the bright, alien light, is still unexpected.

He’s standing in the snow, looking down at a body wearing his armor.

Someone grabs his elbow and he looks down, into the helmet of Lavernius Tucker, the man who he barely knows, but who has, for reasons that Wash can’t begin to understand, decided to save him.

“Focus,” Private Tucker hisses. He’s not that tall, being shorter than Wash, shorter than Caboose, shorter than Epsilon’s body had been. But he somehow manages to radiate fierceness. “Don’t you fuck this up, okay?”

“Okay,” Wash says, trying to stay upright even though the edges of his vision are beginning to blur with pain. His ribs are probably broken. Blood loss has made his head too light, and Doc hasn’t had much time to help him, not while they’d been busing getting the armor switched.

They make it through the inspection, they make it into the Warthogs, and they leave Epsilon’s body behind in the snow, for the soldier’s to deal with, and Wash tries not to collapse the second he gets into the back of the warthog.

Tucker takes off his helmet, turning around to face Wash. His features are handsome, his skin dark, his hair long, and his mouth a thin, dangerous line.

“Don’t make me regret this, okay?”

“I won’t,” Wash promises, one part earnestness, one part desperation, and one part something that Wash can’t even begin to name. “You won’t regret this.”

“I better not,” Tucker says, putting his helmet back on and turning his attention back to the road.

He doesn’t say what will happen if Tucker does regret this, but Wash can fill in the blanks well enough. Prison, a bullet in the back of the head, or even just killing him in his sleep…

Wash has earned that, he realizes with a horrible shudder. He doesn’t know much about Tucker, and the man doubtlessly knows little about him, but Tucker, the leader of Blue Team, owes him nothing. He has given Wash this second chance as a favor to Caboose. He captured Simmons, he held Doc hostage, and he shot—the pink one.

He doesn’t even know the pink one’s name. He thinks Simmons might have said it, but he can’t remember.

Wash’s fate rests solely in Lavernius Tucker’s hands.

For days, Wash is paralyzed by fear, trying to stay out of Tucker’s way, trying to be useful. He almost misses the Leaderboard, because at least then he had been given concrete evidence of his use, his worth, rather than trying to read a man he barely knows, who wears armor all the time.

The Reds fear him, dislike him, and resent him in turn. They’ve closed ranks, glaring out at the Blues with unconcealed hostility and rancor, and Wash hunches his shoulders and tries to make himself invisible as Tucker argues with the Reds over the radio about something specific that Wash can’t understand.

“I’m sorry,” Wash tells Tucker.

“Does it look like I care?” Tucker snaps. “Just… look, Caboose likes you. I’m not about to make him cry again.”

And don’t you go making him cry either, Tucker doesn’t say.

Slowly, things change. Tucker wakes him up after a nightmare, and blocks the knife that Wash tries to bury in his shoulder without so much as a wince.

“Dude, calm the fuck down, it’s me.”

For a moment, Wash doesn’t know him, thinks that the teal helmet is someone else, and he nearly calls out Carolina’s name, before he catches himself, and freezes.

“Tucker—” he gasps, staring at the hand wrapped around his wrist, keeping his knife trapped. “I didn’t—”

Tucker releases him. “Dude, it’s fine. Do you think you’re the only one who gets nightmares?”

He’s not. Tucker has them too—screaming ones, ones that lead to him making horrifically sexual comments all the next day, and spilling anything he holds because his hands are shaking so hard. Caboose has ones that lead to him crying, soft, shuddering gasps, whispering a litany of names—his sisters, Wash learns—and not stopping until he manages to get them all right.

“Tex had ones like yours,” Tucker admits, one night. His face is streaked with sweat, and his hands are trembling as he tries to wrap his fingers around his mug of hot cocoa. “She taught me to grab the wrist. She used a gun, not a knife, but she made me do it over and over again, until I was fast enough. I had to wake her up, because if Church did it, it was… bad. And if we let her sleep, it was worse.”

“Couldn’t you have… taken her gun?”

Tucker gave him a look. “It was Tex. She had guns all over Blue Base. I found one in Caboose’s cereal once.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah,” Tucker says, and smiles at him—wide and brilliant, despite Tucker’s exhaustion. “She was an asshole like that.”

“You miss her,” Wash says, surprised.

“She was my friend,” Tucker says. He passes Wash his own mug of cocoa.

They sit in silence for a few moments, before Tucker looks up at him.

“You know you are too, right?”

“What?”

“My friend.”

“… oh.”

Carolina comes back, after that. Carolina, scarred and green eyed, her hair still dyed bright red, and her entire body coiled so tightly with tension that Wash thinks that, one day, she’s going to lash out and bring down everything with her.

It’s just like Freelancer.

She hasn’t changed a bit in any way, except now, her devotion towards the Director, has turned around on its head.

“Revenge, Wash,” she promises him, her hand extended. “For both of us.”

Wash reaches out and takes her hand.

The Reds and the Blues tag along, into a series of wild twists and turns, until it brings them to a room, large and strange, with Epsilon’s hologram hovering over them all…

And Carolina raises a gun against Tucker’s head.

“Well, what about now?”

“Carolina!” Wash says, but he doesn’t move. “That isn’t necessary!”

“We found the Director! We can make him pay! This is what we wanted!” Epsilon says. “Tucker, c’mon! He screwed you guys too!”

“Really? That’s what you guys want?” Tucker demands. He’s wearing his helmet, but Wash knows that he’s staring right at him. “Revenge? That’s the only thing that matters?”

“You don’t understand, Tucker,” Wash says, slowly, carefully, keeping half an eye on Carolina and the gun.

“I don’t want to understand!” Tucker yells, striding forward despite the gun that’s still aimed at the back of his skull. “Fuck, Wash, I thought you were—I thought you were better! But you’re not, are you? You’re still that selfish fuck who shot Donut and got Church killed and—” He reaches out, as if to grab Wash—in a hug, or a strangle hold, or something else entirely.

Wash raises his own gun, and Tucker falls silent.

“Carolina,” Wash says, staring down the barrel of his gun at Tucker’s helmet, familiar and teal. He doesn’t want to shoot, but he will, if Tucker moves. He doesn’t want to, but it’s just a fact, and Tucker knows it too, from the way he’s staring at Wash, but keeps staying absolutely still. “We don’t need them. Let’s just go.”

“Right,” Carolina says, holstering her own pistol, still radiating fury.

The two of them walk away, with Epsilon.  

“Fuck you, Washington,” Tucker whispers, at his back.

“So… they were right, not to trust you,” a voice, booming and alien, fills the world, and—

Wash is standing in a blank, empty room, driven to his knees by the intense pressure of that voice.

“What—what was that?”

“A different world… a world you wonder about. You wonder, what would have happened, had Lavernius Tucker chosen differently. I showed you what would have happened. I showed you that he was right, to leave you there. You are, and always will be… this.”

“No,” Wash says. “You’re wrong about me.”

“Am I?”

Wash grits his teeth, his hands clenched into fists by his side. “You are. I’m—I’m not like that.”

“I see no evidence of that.”

“You don’t know me.”

“I do. You saw it for yourself. You were offered everything you say you desired… and you threw it away, to seek satisfaction from the man who wronged you. As you throw away an entire world in the name of vengeance. You are NOT WORTHY.”

Wash falls backwards, out of the portal, gasping for air, and he stares down at his own hands.

What does that… thing know about him? He thinks, ignoring Felix’s laughter in the distance. There’s no way it could do what it says it can, reaching across worlds, and pulling that out.

Lavernius Tucker…

“You killed Church! You tried to kill Donut! What, was I supposed to fucking drag you along just because Caboose liked you?”

“It’s clear bringing you along would have been a fucking terrible idea.”

“Bet you would have thrown the rest of us under a bus the first chance you’d have gotten. If you hadn’t killed us all in our sleep in a fit of Freelancer paranoia first, at least.”

… had he been right?

There’s an ambush, today. An entire army, being led into a kill box. An army, that, according to everyone that Wash has ever talked to, includes teenagers.

And Wash is party to that. He’s been party to a lot, in his life, but this…

“So shove the broody righteous hero attitude, cuz guess what? You’re the goddamn bad guy here.”

Lavernius Tucker had been right about him, all along.

But that…

That doesn’t mean that whatever was in that portal was.

He can… there’s still time.

He can still change things.

Wash moves away from the portal and follows the rest of the pirates. He’s supposed to stay back, to prepare for a raid on Armonia.

That will be a good place to start, Wash decides.

He’s still trying to figure out how he’s going to manage to sabotage a mission that he’s leading without making himself a too obvious target for his own men, when Chrissie makes the call.

A tower that kills a planet… and a key that lets them do it.

Well.

It looks like Wash’s defection might have to be a little more obvious than he’d hoped.

The Temple of the Key is a craggy, strange building on a snow-covered mountain, and Wash immediately hates it when he gets there. There are cliffs, which are already awful, but there’s also snow, and the air outside is so cold that Wash can almost imagine he can feel it through his environmentally controlled armor.

“Any sign of them?” He asks one of the pirates, trying to ignore the prickles of memory poking around the edge of his mind.

“No sir,” Ross, one of the men who was here before the Tartarus, replies. “But the Temple is fucking with our equipment, so we can’t be sure.”

“Fan out and secure the perimeter,” Wash says, switching out his pistol for his rifle. “Radio me if you spot them.”

“Yessir.”

The interior of the Temple is huge, in a way that Wash… isn’t used to. Interiors of buildings and ships are always… small. Even the Tartarus’s center, open for floors upon floors, had always felt claustrophobic. But here, the ceiling is a high arch, curved in such a way that every slightest sound is audible, and the sleek, steel ramps curve around the walls, hinting at a never-ending maze of rooms. The light is a strange greyish blue and… alien.

And there, in the center of the room, is the handle of a sword just like Tucker’s.

“Do you truly think you are worthy?”

Wash turns around, and gapes.

An alien being, made entirely of dark red light, stands in front of him, gazing down on him with contempt.

An artificial intelligence. An alien artificial intelligence.

Wash really hates his life.

“It doesn’t matter if I’m worthy or not.” Wash turns his back to the A.I. and strides across the room to the sword.

“You don’t believe it matters?”

“No. What matters… is what I do next.” He crouches down, beside the hilt, which sits, like it has sat for probably hundreds if not thousands of years, before picking it up.

It feels… different, from Tucker’s sword. It’s still heavy, but the weight of it is different, and there is no feeling of wrongness spreading outwards from his hand. Instead, he thinks he can feel the pattern of the grip changing in his hand, shifting itself to suit him, and when he raises it, it bursts to life in front of him, forming the familiar lines of a Sanghelli Blade.

He looks up, and the alien is gone.

Wash almost wonders if he’d imagined it, but he knows that it really doesn’t matter.

The sword is bound to him until he dies.

“You really think the Chairman'll let you go?”

A sword, which, in Felix or Locus’s hands, could easily spell the end to this entire planet.

“Tell that to the sixteen year olds running around wearing armor.”

Teenagers in an army, fighting a war… a war that Wash can’t even begin to comprehend.

“You’re also willing to kill an entire goddamn planet just so you end up okay? Your freedom is worth that much, huh?”

Wash is in this war, on the wrong side. He can’t deny that. Felix and Locus would do anything to get their hands on this key. They will do anything to kill off this planet and collect their paycheck.

But it’s not in their hands.

It’s in his.

Wash lowers his hand, and the blade flickers out.

He knows what he has to do next.

His radio pings, letting him know that Felix is trying to establish a connection. He’s on his way to join Wash, and he’s probably excited about getting his hands on the sword. He doesn’t know Wash already has it.

He doesn’t know what Wash is planning on doing next.

Wash takes a deep breath inside of his helmet, trying to appreciate the safety, the security, of his armor. Because, soon, he won’t have that.

He’s going back to prison after all.

He’s survived… everything, and in the end, it’s all for nothing.

He shakes his head, because if he dwells on that, he might change his mind. And he knows he can’t. He has to follow this through, has to face the consequences of his actions.

Lavernius Tucker might be irritating, but he was right about at least one thing.

Wash isn’t the good guy in this story.

He keeps walking through the Temple, out into the wide open, snow spotted mountaintop. He clips the sword to his side, like he’s seen Lavernius Tucker do, and it clicks into place, proving once and for all that ancient alien technology is a strange, indecipherable thing, that can somehow interact with modern human armor systems.

In the distance, he sees a Federal Army of Chorus pelican circling, and he breathes a sigh of relief.

Felix’s radio pings his again, but Wash still doesn’t open the channel. If he’s about to turn traitor, he doesn’t have to listen to Felix’s voice anymore, and he’s going to take full advantage of that.

Wash turns around, and there’s a sword at his throat.

“Washington,” Tucker says.

“Tucker.” Slowly, Wash raises his hands in the air, dropping his rifle.

Tucker stares at him, slowly, incredulously.

“I surrender,” Wash says, just to make sure he’s getting the point across.

“You expect me to believe that?” Tucker demands.

“Felix and Locus will kill everyone on this planet if they get this sword.” He watches as Tucker’s helmet twitches slightly, probably having only just noticed the sword clipped to Wash’s leg.

“And since when do you have a problem with that?” Tucker lowers his own sword. “Whatever happened to “We’re fighting an army, not a planet,” huh?”

“Are you really going to argue with me about surrendering?” Wash demands, feeling a headache beginning to build.

For a moment, Wash thinks Tucker’s about to follow through on his earlier declarations, and just kill him right on the spot.

But then Carolina emerges over Tucker’s shoulder, keeping her gun trained right on him. Wash feels his heart speed up in his chest, and he does his best to not allow it to affect his stance, with his hands still held up in the air.

“He surrendered,” Tucker says. “Anyone got any handcuffs that aren’t pink and fuzzy?”

“You expect me to believe you don’t?” Carolina’s voice is tinged with affection in a way that completely throws Wash off. But her gun doesn’t waver from Wash’s helmet, aimed in such a way that Wash knows that one shot could put him down for good.

In his mind, Carolina has always been like she was during the project; stressed, competitive, and on the verge of collapse, just like the rest of them.

But, standing next to Tucker, the two of them unfathomably comfortable, Wash realizes, with a lurch, that she’s changed.

The vision the alien A.I. had provided had gotten it wrong, at least about Carolina. Carolina, standing here, is different from Freelancer. She’s grown. She’s changed. She’s happy.

Envy sweeps through Wash, strong enough to choke him.

“Did you not just hear me say that mine are pink and fuzzy?” Tucker says. “Donut swapped them all out because he says that metal ones are a hazard in the bedroom.”

“What makes you think he didn’t get mine?”

“Because you’d have switched them back.”

Carolina lets out a soft laugh that freezes Wash in place. “Cover me.”

Tucker switches out his sword for his gun, and Wash is shoved against the side of the mountain, cuffed, and relieved of his weapons. Wash grits his teeth so tightly that they hurt as the cuffs close around his wrists, keeping them trapped behind his back, but he doesn’t protest.

Carolina attaches the sword to her own leg but leaves the rest of his weapons there in the snow, and Wash doesn’t say anything, even though he wants to.

“Move,” she says. “Epsilon’s jamming your radio, so don’t even try to call for help.”

But the shove against his back isn’t as harsh as Wash might have expected.

The two of them lead him into a tunnel, dark and damp and cramp.

Wash struggles to keep his breathing even. It’s not prison. He’d never been in his armor in prison. He’s not there… he’s not injured, he’s not at the crash site. He’s… he’s fine.

This is fine.

“Why did you do it?” Tucker demands, suddenly.

Wash can’t help but turn around to look at him, even though it means that Carolina’s rifle digs into his shoulder.

“Do what?” Wash asks, so focused on how close the ceiling of the cave feels that he doesn’t realize the obvious answer as to what Tucker’s talking about.

“What do you think, dude? You let me go. Why?”

Wash should say something poignant, something clever; maybe even try to convince them that he’d always planned on betraying Felix and Locus, and that was him trying to prove it to them, use it to try to help his own situation.

But he’s exhausted and trying to stave off the claustrophobia, so he just tells the truth.

“Felix was going to kill you.”

“… and you care?”

“Tucker,” Carolina says quietly. “Later.”

“No! Not later.” Tucker steps forward, and shoves Wash backwards. Wash stumbles, but manages to stay upright, his boots sinking further into the snow. “I want to know why the fuck you’re changing your mind! You wanted to kill me, so why the fuck does it matter if Felix did it?”

“Because…” Wash’s breath is stuttering in his chest, and he feels like the ceiling above them is about to give, or maybe that’s just because he’s shaking so hard inside of his armor that absolutely nothing is standing still.

Nothing except the two figures in aqua armor in front of him, who aren’t even aiming their weapons at him anymore, just watching him.

“Wash, focus!” Carolina demands, her voice cutting through the haze in his head.

The world stops spinning, and Wash realizes he’s leaning against the wall of the tunnel, having a fucking panic attack.

“Why?” Tucker demands again.

“Tucker,” Carolina growls in warning, but Wash looks over her shoulder, right at Tucker.

“You were right,” Wash whispers, his throat dry. “I was just… following orders.”

“And that makes it okay?”

“No.” Wash tries to stand up straight, and stumbles. Carolina catches him by the elbow, more gently than she has to.

More gently than Wash deserves, that’s for sure.

“You want a choice again,” Carolina says, softly. He can’t see her expression, but her grip on his arm is supporting, not gripping.

“Yes,” Wash says. “I’m… you were right. What Charon is doing is wrong, and I was helping them, and I… I just wanted to not go back to prison.” He swallows. “I’m a soldier. Not a killer. Or at least… I’m supposed to be.”

Carolina and Tucker look at each other. And, in a flash of light, Epsilon pops into view.

“Well, what do you think?” Carolina says.

“Eh, good enough for me,” Epsilon says, his avatar shrugging.

“Kimball’s not going to like this,” Carolina says, sounding amused.

“Oh, and you think Doyle will?” Tucker snickers.

“Eh, it’ll be good for them to agree on something,” Epsilon disappears and reappears closer to Tucker.

“That’s true! And we can probably sell Kimball on probation!” Tucker nods, enthusiastically.   

“What?” Wash asks, not sure if he’s at all following.

Carolina turns away from him. “Grif, prep the Pelican, we’re going right for the Communication Tower.”

“What? You got it! Holy shit, you’ve got a sword now?”

“Noooot exactly,” Epsilon says, sounding way too amused about all of this.   

“I don’t understand,” Wash says, still dizzy with adrenaline and confusion, as Tucker takes a step towards him.

The handcuffs fall into the snow, and vanish, too heavy to stay above the surface.

“Man, you Freelancers are kind of dumb sometimes, aren’t you?” Tucker says. “Welcome to Blue Team, Washington. If you fuck this up, Kimball will probably kill you before I can, but hey.”

“What? Why? After… after everything I did? You’re just… letting me go?”

“No, we’re letting you join the team! Dude, don’t you pay attention?”

“That makes no sense!”

“Look dude. You’ve got an alien sword that’s almost as cool as mine, we’re super outnumbered, you’ve decided to be less of a dick, and I already apparently owe you my goddamn life.”

“A second chance, Wash,” Carolina says, turning to face him. “Don’t… question if you deserve it or not too hard.”

“You can’t possibly be okay with this,” Wash says, staring at Tucker.

Tucker suddenly looks serious.

“Look, I’m not saying we’re buddies or best friends or anything like that dude, don’t get the wrong idea. But hey, you kiiiiind of only went to prison cuz we bailed on you, and I mean, Felix probably would’ve fucking killed you if you’d said no to helping him out, and you didn’t hand over the weapon that’d let them kill an entire planet.” He shrugs. “That counts for like, something.”

“Come on,” Carolina says. “The others are waiting for us.”

“Bet Caboose is going to love this,” Tucker says. “C’mon, Washington.”

He turns away from Wash, and keeps walking, out of the tunnel, leaving his back completely exposed.

Wash stares after him a moment, completely thrown off balance by all of this.

But, tentatively, he puts one foot in front of the other, and moves out of the tunnel, following Tucker and Carolina into the harsh, blinding light of day.  

[arrowloosed]

❝ hey – look at me. what’s my name? ❞

( for a second ( this horrifying, terrible, endless second ) you don’t know. left from right and up from down. you’ve been here before. life is funny like that. you’ve been here before, and you know you’ll be here again. ) 

right now, though? right now? it feels like the beginning of the end. maybe the rest of the world is seeing a beginning ( heroes in the sky, and on the ground, superheroes, the world isn’t gone despite aliens dropping down from a portal and a god trying to kill everyone ) all clint can see right now is an ending. 

all he can feel is the way he’s been hollowed out. he never carved pumpkins as a kid. he and barney snuck out once, one halloween, when they were in a group home where there were so many kids no one really noticed and got into trouble and got candy and felt normal, for once, and clint ate so much candy he got sick but he hadn’t carved a pumpkin until he was an adult. him and natasha side by side one halloween, doing something they’ve never done before. 

he feels like a fucking pumpkin. carved on face. removable top of the skull. empty, empty middle. 

loki took too much. he doesn’t know how to be a person. he feels like a lawnmower trying to turn over. 

he opens his mouth. 

he almost says captain america. he almost says captain - 

“simmons.”

sputtering like a car trying to start without gas. 

“what’re you doing here.”  

[sueboohscorner]

#AgentsofShield Season 6 Episode 2 "Window of Opportunity" Recap and Review

Evil Coulson and his team are raiding a gas station for supplies. He says that you can tell a lot about a world by their currency. He doesn’t appear to be a fan of paper money, but at least it’s light. He then taunts the cashier by saying “people fantasize about doing something heroic in times like these.” The guy isn’t a hero, so evil Coulson shoots his shotgun at something, makes fun of combustion, and leaves with his team in the shades he picked out. They then cloak the truck and drive away. This Coulson is very much into “aesthetic.” Oh, and they’re in Ohio.

Mack is talking about the dead redshirt. He then splits up the rest of the team to look at different angles of this new problem. He doesn’t tell them about evil Coulson just yet. He wants more info before that goes wide.

The bad guys are quarrelling. The smaller guy, Pax, is mostly the one complaining. The bigger guy Jaco’s native atmosphere includes motor oil in gaseous form, proof that they aren’t all from the same planet. Pax also talks about the guy they lost and the things he was in charge of. Apparently they are out of PEG’s that the dead guy carried around in his pocket. And now I understand the butterflies. They all believe in reincarnation. Correct me if I’m wrong, but wouldn’t mass murderers be reincarnated as cockroaches or rocks or something? Isn’t that how it’s generally supposed to work?

Mack gets a lead on the gas station. Him, May, and Yo-Yo then talk to Dr. Benson, who thinks that evil Coulson might be an LMD. He wants to talk to the idiot who designed them. That’s a problem because of them is dead and the other is in deep space.

Fitz is engineering the heck out of some alien tech, when he gets confronted by one of the other workers on the ship. He gets outed by the same dang snails he turned his nose to with Kasius and accidentally says that he comes from an irradiated wasteland. He was using an iroscope to hide his identity. Thank goodness he wasn’t on drugs. Anyway, the boss’s name is Viro and he’s played by Damon Werth from NCIS. He wants to throw Fitz and Enoch off the ship. Fitz explains his usefulness to the ship and offers to work for free, so Viro decides to let him live.

Evil Coulson and Pax are caught by a security guard in a shipping yard. They shoot him and disappear.

Mack knows that the bad guys are looking for something. He also knows about Yo-Yo and the redshirt. He then gets notified about a sighting in the shipping yard.

Mack, May, and Yo-Yo talk to Benson. They affirm that Coulson is in fact dead and they did not bring him back to life. Evil Coulson has DNA, which LMD’s don’t have, so there goes that theory. His DNA is identical to Coulson’s, once some extraterrestrial anomalies are stripped away.

Evil Coulson talks to Jaco about replacements. They also need to rob a jewelry store.

Enoch and Fitz talk while they work. Enoch is the one who taught him the alien language. Viro then tells them that he’s now planning to kill the other engineers because Fitz was right. This isn’t at all what Fitz wants, but he can’t convince Viro.

Dr. Benson asks Mack what Coulson was to May. Mack kind of tells him.

Evil Coulson gives the same speech to the jewelry store teller that he gave to the guy at the gas station. Unlike him, she does something. They don’t kill her because they need her to get into the vault.

May and Yo-Yo find the security guard and talk. This is more the May I’m used to, because she tells Yo-Yo to be careful. A lot can change in a day. Mack found the jewelry store, which causes them to shut up.

Evil Coulson brings in Jaco through a portal in the vault wall.

Fitz wants to help the engineers, though Enoch advises against it.

May and Yo-Yo get to the jewelry store. May wants to see into the vault, because no version of Coulson would go in without an exit strategy. She then sees five heat signatures even though only four went in.

Evil Coulson mocks the manager when she talks about how valuable diamonds are. He’s looking for crystals that can generate an electric charge via applied mechanical pressure. The teller directs him to a drawer full of quartz and topaz.

May sees the portal in the wall and drives back to the shipping yard, where she finds the truck.

Fitz tries to save the engineers by reasoning with Viro. When that doesn’t work, he gets in the airlock with the other engineers and the other airlock opens, sending Viro and his minions out. Enoch holds on long enough to close it.

May knocks on the door of the truck, and then proceeds to kick some serious butt. She manages to get the teller out and tries to leave Butterfly girl in the vault. Evil Coulson sees the teller running and goes back to the truck. May stops punching long enough for the bad guys to leave her in the vault, just in time for Yo-Yo to finally make it through. Evil Coulson says that “Coulson” rings a bell.

Dr. Benson tells Mack that the dead guy’s watch is a biological hard drive. On it, they watch an entire world disintegrate. That’s what they’re up against.

Fitz needs to get to Kitzin to save the crew. He has time to go back into cryosleep. As he leaves, HE JUST MISSES SIMMONS, who shows up almost exactly as he leaves.

They just missed each other and that hurts me. Nonetheless, it was a good episode, and I can’t wait for next week! 8/10.

[cluelessrebel1988]

Shipping questions

Saw that @hpfangirl13​ had done this and it looked like fun so I thought I’d give it a shot

Talk about the first ship you ever had.

One of the first pairs that I remember wanting to get together was Harry/Hermione as I was reading the Harry Potter series. I didn’t know what shipping was at the time (I’m not even sure there was a term for it yet), but I really thought they made a better couple than Ron/Hermione for the longest time. I eventually came around to Ron/Hermione (Book 7 was the game changer), but Harry/Hermione was the one I was rooting for for about half the series.

Talk about three of the most important ships throughout your life.

I mean, the first one is pretty important, right? The one that gets you started on wanting to see where a relationship or friendship goes. So yeah, Harry/Hermione would probably be an important one. Outside of that, the top three are Cartinelli (Peggy Carter/Angie Martinelli) on the show Agent Carter was a big one for me because that kickstarted by deep and resounding love for f/f pairings;FitzSimmons from Agents of SHIELD. If for no other reason than that’s the one thing that kept me watching through some pretty dismal story arcs; And Riley Matthews/Maya Hart (Rilaya) from Girl Meets World, due to them being one of the few pairs I’ve shipped since day one.

What’s your current OTP?

Not gonna lie, I fell pretty hard for the budding romance between Jane Banks and Jack the lamplighter in Mary Poppins returns. It’s just so sweet and pure and just starting out and it’s damn near perfect.

What’s your current NOTP?

I don’t really have one at the moment. The most recent was probably Kara/Mon-El on Supergirl, but mostly because I thought the relationship was poorly written and that the arc that they gave Mon-El would have worked just fine if they weren’t in a relationship.

Do you have any poly ships?

No. I’ve never been able to get into that. No judgement against people that are, though!

How do you feel about love triangles?

I have yet to see one that didn’t get old fast and drag a story down hard. 

How do you feel about RPF?

Not really my thing. Feels too weird.

Have you ever shipped yourself with a character?

I actually have. Generally when I’m testing out OCs in my head or in the canon of the story, I don’t have them mess with canon pairings, but I’ve got a Lord of the Rings OC that I ship with Eowyn and yes, it’s pretty much a self-insert situation. 

Do you have many ships that never got together at all?

Well, Cartinelli never became an actual couple, but I was never expecting them to. That’s probably the only one.

Do you ship any characters that have never met?

No, there’s gotta be some kind of meeting

Talk about your favorite first kiss.

Gotta go with FitzSimmons on this one. After a little over two seasons of slow burn, and just about every bad thing you can think of getting thrown their way (including one of them getting sucked into a portal to an alien planet), they’re back together, dealing with the long months apart, the fact that one of them is convinced they’re cursed as a couple and conflicting emotions abound, and the confrontation scene they’re having reaches a tipping point and Fitz kisses Simmons as passionately as he can. She kisses him a moment later, but more gently and for just a moment, nothing else matters. No one else matters. It’s just them. Still love that scene.

Have you ever been disappointed when your ship finally got together?

Not really. Not that I can think of.

Has a ship ever broken your heart?

I had my heart broken about a dozen times over with FitzSimmons, largely due to a combination of amazing writing and an inexplicable desire by said writers to keep them from getting together.

How do you feel about will they/won’t they?

Oh, if it’s done well, it’s about as perfect as it gets. But you gotta do it right. 

Have you ever “shipped at first sight”?

I think most, if not all, of my ships started at first sight

Talk about a ship you initially disliked.

I was never on the Reylo train, and I’m still not even after ‘The Last Jedi’ (though I get why a lot more people started shipping them after that movie). I’d be lying if I said I hated it, but it’s just one that I never got on board with.

Talk about a pairing you’ve stopped shipping romantically.

I really can’t think of any.

Talk about a moment which made you question an entire ship.

I really had a hard time understanding the SkyeWard (Agents of SHIELD) ship after it was revealed that Ward was Hydra. Pretty much everything about him after that was just...ugh. I’ve maintained for a while that his character deserved a redemption arc and that said arc would have been a more interesting story than just straight up making him the bad guy, but the two of them together never made sense to me after that reveal.

Have you ever shipped something despite yourself?

Not really. I know what I like and what I don’t and my ships tend to fall in line with that.

Talk about a ship you feel alone in shipping?

Probably just about any pairing from ‘The Great Escape’ but that’s largely because it’s a movie from 1963 and I’m not sure how many people in the shipping culture of today have even heard of it.

Is there a ship you just don’t get, but have nothing against?

Not really. Most of the ships I don’t get I have problems with, and the ones I don’t ship, but don’t have a problem with I at least understand 

Which of your ships have the best chemistry?

FitzSimmons has always had amazing chemistry and just continues to get better

Which of your ships deserve better writing?

FitzSimmons deserves writers that will just let them be happy for five fucking minutes, okay?

Do you mostly ship canon pairings?

There’s a bit of balance, I think, maybe leaning toward canon pairings.

Have you ever shipped a pairing before you even started watching the show/movie simply because of gifs and graphics or similar?

Not that I can think of.

Have you noticed a pattern in your shipping? Is there a romantic dynamic you’re more drawn to?

It’s what I (and a lot of Tumblr users) call the Slytherin/Hufflepuff dynamic. You’ve got the tough character who would set world on fire to protect their less world-weary counterpart, and the eternal optimist who will forever see the best in their significant other, perhaps most especially when they can't see it in themselves.

Is there a ship you’ve shipped for most of your life?

I guess my longest, most consistent ship has been FitzSimmons which I’ve been shipping since 2013. Cartinelli is a close second, that one’s since 2015

Does shipping come easily to you?

Oh yeah. It takes very little for me to start shipping something, even if its casually.

Do you need to ship something to really enjoy a movie/book/tv show/comic?

I don’t know if I NEED to ship something to enjoy the source material, but I’d be hard pressed to think of a situation where it doesn’t improve it at least a little.

Name a couple of fandoms in which you have no ships.

I’m not currently shipping anyone on the show Manifest, so there’s that.

Talk about one of your favorite headcanons for a ship you love.

It’s not one that I came up with, but I did see a FitzSimmons headcanon a few years back that he didn’t know how to tie a tie (despite wearing them all the time) and she tied them for him but no one knew about that. I really liked that and it’s kind of the epitome of their relationship in season 1

Name your favorite fan artist(s).

I don’t really have any favorites, not that I could list.

Share your favorite fanmix for your OTP.

I did come across a Cartinelli fanmix a while back that I liked. I don’t remember all the songs in it, but I do remember it included ‘La Vie En Rose’ and “Someone to Watch Over Me’ which are songs a lot of people associate with the ship

Do you create fanmixes/gif sets/fanart/fic/fanvids and so on for your ships?

I’ve made a few fanvids for a couple of my ships, and I’ve written a fair share of fics for others.

Do you have a favorite trope and/or AU for your OTP?

My favorite FitzSimmons AU is one where they get a happy ending (I’m a bit bitter about this, can you tell?)

Do you like and use ship names?

Dear God, yes. The more creative the better.

Is there a fictional relationship you’d really want for yourself?

I mean, apart from one where I’m a rider of Rohan and am able to romance Lady Eowyn, no

If you could change one thing about your OTP, what would that be?

Angie Martinelli plays a bigger role in season 2 of Agent Carter and there’s no forced love triangle BS with Peggy.in Los Angeles. Cartinelli happiness (romantic or otherwise) ensues

[lightningcrown]

My top 10 Marvel Cinematic Universe couples. Trust me, there’s a lot more, because I pretty much ship anything; but these are the main ones I ship. Yeah...I was tied between Valki and Hulkyrie, and realized I liked both for Valkyrie. So Valki is now an Honorable Mention while #4 is now replaced by Fitzsimmons.

Yeah, I don’t regret a fucking thing.

A couple warnings though. Firstly, there are spoilers to the character's respective shows/films in the meme’s description, so just a heads up. Infinity War spoilers, too. Second, I have either not seen or not finished the shows The Defenders, Jessica Jones, Daredevil, and Iron Fist, also Cloak and Daggar isn’t finished, so I can’t put Ty/Tandy on the list just yet (Honestly, Tandy is just a bitch at this point in the show).  As I finish the shows, I’ll move the couples around or add/remove them. And third, but most important without a doubt, this is my list, as in my personal opinion. I will not trash you for your ships if you do not trash mine. Ship and let ship.

Okay, let’s begin.

~Honorable Mention~ Valki -  Not canon...I think...seriously, Tessa Thompson has hinted that these two are in a...somewhat relationship? Like the other couples, I think these two would be good for each other. I mean, come on, Loki needs a partner to smack some sense into him every once in a while. I think they’d work in a unique way. A real power couple. I seriously might change this to a better couple, but I’m not sure. All I know is that I like this ship….but I like #3 more.

Alright, now onto the top 10.

#10 - Victor “Chase” Stein and Gertrude Yorkes -  When I found out that the Runaways were going to be adapted into the MCU, I got super excited! I love the comics, and I couldn’t wait to see how the show was going to turn out. I was satisfied with most things, including the romance between Chase and Gert. Their romance in the comics was/is beautiful and sad, so I couldn’t wait to see it. Gert and Chase are polar opposites in a charming way, with Chase originally being shown as a stuck up jock and Gert as a tumblr fueled activist, but they seem to bring their true selves out by being love struck and oblivious dorks. It’s so cute when they finally wake up, like ‘Oh shit, the one I was looking for was right in front of me the whole time’ kinda wake up. They’re the kind of characters you just can’t picture with anyone else, the just work that well together. They’re the only couple in the show I love at the moment. Yes, I hate Deanoru. Come get me.

#9 - Robbie Reyes and Daisy Johnson -  While they’re not official, I can’t help but imagine how they’d look as a couple. By the time they meet in season 4, Daisy has lost too many people, and she has too many regrets and too much grief. She desperately wants to make it right, and is afraid to let people get close because it always ends with either her or them getting hurt. Her parents, the agents that died to save her as a child, the breakout of the inhumans due to her sending the terrigen crystals into the ocean, and finally, her boyfriend’s death. Going by the codename Quake, she uses her powers to try and make up for what she believes is all her fault. Robbie is a man trying to make up for getting into gang trouble, which resulted in his brother being paralyzed from the waist down in a deliberate crash meant to kill Robbie. After he is possessed by the Spirit of Vengeance and becomes known as Ghost Rider, he takes to the streets at night, killing gang members and slowly cleaning up the city of people that the Spirit of Vengeance deems guilty and unworthy of life. Their paths cross, and while they don’t start off on a good note, the two eventually team up to connect the dots in front of them. They’re so alike, and I believe that they would be good for one another. It’s her meeting Robbie that kinda snaps her out of the daze she’s in, and it’s ultimately each other that heals the other and gets them out of their rut. It’s a shame, because I know they’ll never be official, but I love them, and I will continue to ship them despite of that.

#8 - Peter Quill and Gamora -  If you’ve seen the films, I think you know why I don’t even need to explain these two…but I will a bit anyways. He’s goofy and carefree, but knows when to be mature, and she’s been trained her whole life to be a weapon, and is just now being able to finally have the family she’s always wanted, with Quill being someone who’s helping her realize she’s more than a monster. Avengers Infinity War broke my heart. When the two kissed, their relationship being established between Guardian’s Vol. 2 and Infinity War, I was so happy...until Gamora told Quill to kill her if Thanos ever got his hands on her. Sadly, it happened, but Thanos used the reality stone to keep it from happening. When Quill later learns that Thanos murdered Gamora to gain the Soul Stone...his cry of despair and grief as Tony tried to hold him back broke my heart. I think he was perfectly justified in flipping out like he did. They’re just another one of those couples that are a perfect example of soulmates, and I hope they are reunited.

#7 - Phillip Coulson and Melinda May -  These two are like FitzSimmons, always together. They have each other’s back, and they support each other in almost everything they do. They’re like the mom and dad of the group. And while they do fight, it’s in a very...married couple sort of way. I don’t think there’s ever been a better team up in S.H.I.E.L.D. history since them, and I’m glad their relationship isn’t rushed. Once they officially got together, it was easy to see that it was slowly building the whole time, even if it wasn’t too noticeable at first.

#6 - Vision and Wanda Maximoff -  Their relationship is so much like teenagers flirting, just in an...adult way? Maybe that was a bit confusing, but my point is, these two are adorable. Another couple that managed to stomp on my heart in Infinity War. Turns out, after Captain America Civil War, Wanda and Vision became an official couple and began to travel the world. Their relationship is pure and innocent love. Nothing dirty, no sex jokes, just...they’re so in love; you can see it whenever they’re in the presence of the other. Seriously, it’s like they’re looking at the whole world when they’re looking at the other. Cheesy, but it fits. In Infinity War, Wanda is the one who has to destroy the mind stone in Vision’s forehead, despite it still being a part of him. She doesn’t want to, but he tells her that she must “It shouldn’t be you, but it is.” And she’s, understandably, upset, so Vision comforts her with some of the most romantic words I’ve ever heard in the MCU “It's alright. You could never hurt me. I just feel you.” He knows that he’s about to die...yet he’s doing his damndest to make sure she’s comforted. And sadly, she uses her powers to destroy the stone and kill him…until Thanos uses the Time Stone to rewind time, revive Vision, then rip the Mind Stone out of his head, killing him in front of Wanda for a second time! I...I just want these two to be happy.

#5 - Tony Stark and Pepper Potts -  Just...watch any movie with these characters, and you’ll know exactly why I put them on this list. I can’t really anything else other than that they’re perfect for each other; and in my opinion, I don’t believe either character could ever work in a relationship with a different person. These two are the best canon couple in the MCU, hands down.

#4 - Leopold Fitz and Jemma Simmons -  These two are literally two halves of a whole. Where one struggles, the other supports and the two succeed. Hell, people in the show don't even refer to them as individuals, they're called FitzSimmons. Seriously, these two had a canon ship name from the beginning, the other characters thought they were a perfect match. If soul mates are a thing, these two are definitely it. These two characters have been through so much in the first 4 seasons, and when they finally got together in season 3 after the massive cliffhanger in season 2; I cheered. Ever since, the two have continued to be a model of relationship goals. Fitz has put his life on the line several times in order to protect and rescue Simmons, literally jumping through an alien portal to find her on the other side of the universe. Simmons is no different. She suffered through a computer world that showed her death and made Fitz hate her, yet she managed to get through to him and save him. I haven't seen season 5 yet, but I do know that the two of them get married, and let me just say....it's about damn time!

#3 - Bruce Banner/Hulk and Valkyrie -  These two...need to be canon. I’m sorry (Pfft, no I’m not), but I...I really despise Bruce/Natasha. Their interactions feel so forced...it’s just awful! But these two? It’s so natural and amazing! Hulk and Valkyrie have known each other for couple years by the time Thor Ragnarok rolls around, and they’re so playful! Hulk doesn’t hate her, he smiles at her, and whenever she’s called to his room, she becomes happy and the two playfully spar and even have nicknames for each other. And once Bruce returns from being Hulk, he and Valkyrie immediately go “Do I know you? I feel like I know you!” And they get along perfectly from there. Seriously, when Bruce sees Valkyrie for the first time, he’s in complete awe! He notices the markings around her eyes and asks Thor about them, describing them and her as “beautiful and strong”. Seriously, in this one movie, Hulk/Valkyrie was shown to be more natural and smooth than Bruce/Natasha. These two would be in the category of being friends first and then a couple later on. The Hulk likes her, Bruce likes her, and neither have a problem with her, and she doesn’t have the problem with either of them. It works out. Also, in the first few movies where Bruce is shown…he’s always forced to become the Hulk by someone, but in Thor: Ragnarok, Bruce changes into the Hulk willingly. I can’t help but think that Valkyrie’s acceptance of both personalities might have had a small hand in it. Oh well, I’m stupid, moving on.

#2 - Peter Parker and Molly Hernandez -  A crack ship I made, but a cute one. Peter is Spiderman in the MCU, obviously, while Molly is a character in Marvel’s Runaways, being Gert’s adopted sister with Hulk-like strength. Both of these characters are young people swept up in horrible situations, and learning to cope with powers, abilities, and responsibilities they didn’t have before. I think it would be cute and emotional for the two of them to bond over their shared experiences. I’ve got so many story ideas for this cute pair. Also, I just...don’t like Michelle that much. I don’t know why, she just seems so...ugh, I’m gonna get hate for this, but I don’t like how they dealt with her in the movie. Also, now that I think about it, I’ve never really liked MJ in any Spiderman film, so...yeah. Anyways, I think Peter and Molly would be adorable together. Moving on.

#1 - James Buchanan “Bucky” Barnes and Princess Shuri - My OTP in the MCU...and I don’t regret a fucking thing for shipping it. Shuri is canonly the one who gets all of HYDRA’s programming out of his head, built him his new arm, and taught him about Wakanda in the MCU...and I can’t help but love that there’s finally another person for Bucky to be close with that isn’t Steve. I love their friendship, but I’m happy that Bucky is finally free from HYDRA and can finally depend on an befriend other people; expand a little. The little after credits scene at the end of Black Panther had me squealing and imagining all the scenarios for their relationship. I went back and saw it a second time to see that scene again (I also saw it a second time because that movie was fucking awesome, but seeing the scene again was good^^!). Shuri is officially my favorite female character in the MCU. Also, fun fact, me mentioning that I like this ship had given me so much shit on here. I’ve been called a pedophile, a pedophilic enabler, and a stucky fan once told me to kill myself...it’s fucking hilarious. I’ve never been in a fandom shipping war before, so it was an amazing anf funny experience XD I love these two so much, and no 12 year old on tumblr is going to change my mind. These two, I could see their relationship developing over time and it’s just...I would love to see these two develop together.

[callie-the-snarky-geek-blog]

RvB16 Episode 3 Review: Lost Time

(Old Blog Repost)

Wasn’t last week fun everyone? I thought it was fun! But yeah, a lot of shit happened despite Grif’s attempts to not let shit happen… that we can argue caused the shit to happen. Isn’t meta humor fun kids?! But yeah scary alien woman attacked (and converted Tumblr into her own group of worshipers from what I can tell), Donut is a God, and everyone’s been separated ala Season 3. Only this time with time travel… ala Season 3 but the separation happened before that part. I just gave myself a headache. Well.. lets get on with the review while my brain is still intact.

Overview

We begin on… IDK if it’s a planet or not, but someplace with snow! This is where Grif and Doc got sent… so this is the second time a portal sent Grif off to same snowy wasteland. Man, this really is like Season 3 only he’s taking Church’s role as the grumpy one while Doc is… Doc. Well at least he didn’t get hit in the nuts immideatly after this time or thrown in a cell! Anyways, yeah snowy wasteland. Doc is freaked out about the entire thing and what it means while Grif is trying to figure out how the portal gun works so that they can get out before they freeze. He’s also grumpy. But to be fair, if I saw a perfectly good pizza parlor blow up in front of me, I would be grumpy too.

Grif is also refusing to let Doc help or even get near him. Why? Well he’s pissed off cause they got roped into bullshit again, but the biggest thing seems to be that he got stuck with Doc who… you know, is a piss poor combatant, bad at his medic job, and had betrayed them not too long ago. To be fair, Doc… completely understands Grif hating him for that. Heck, he feels guilty for what he did. I’ll get into it more int he analysis portion, but it looks like Joe may be giving Doc character development… or is leading up to a joke later. but hey he’s giving Doc attention. More than I can say for Miles’ run (sorry Miles, I love you but I’m gonna point stuff like that out). Grif ignores the sob story to work on the gun,a nd to his credit he gets the thing to work… on shuffle. Okay, why did God put a shuffle function on the gun? Then again, God has his ways and as a Christian I should know to not question it… assuming that that’s the God we’re refereeing to anyways. Lets just pretend that’s the case for now.

Meanwhile, Tucker and Sister have made the same revelation. The two of them have ended up, to my glee, in Valhalla! Since the Recolleciton Trilogy is my favorite storyline, seeing it again makes me SO happy. IDK what point this is at. It could be before the Reds and Caboose got sent there, could be after the Reds fought Wash and the Meta, I don’t know. But who cares? It’s Valhalla again! I am happy! Also we learn that Tucker is atheist and Sister, like her brother, is agnostic. Good to know!

Tucker tries to figure out Donut’s cryptic warning of ‘the key to fixing the future is to fix the past’ or something along those lines. Sister however wants to hold it off and have a little ‘fun’ with Tucker… boy going through time to bang various historical figures! And Sister is officially more sexually ambitious than Tucker could ever hope to be. Tucker, being Tucker, is unhappy that… you know, she doesn’t want to bang him and all. He also refers to them apparently having had sex in Blood Gulch that… I forgot about I guess. But Sister says it didn’t happen and it wasn’t all that memorable anyways. Ouch… you know, when binging I found Sister pointless all in all and writing her out would have changed nothing. But now that she’s back and Joe is actually giving her attention, I freakin’ LOVE her. Keep it up Joe!

So now over to Simmons and Sarge with Simmons trying to figure the gun out. Him being a nerd, he’s far more confused and nitpicky about it than the others have been. Sarge is more than happy to accept having a ‘magic gun’ though and wants to get on to the ‘fixing the past’ thing. How? Well his first thought is to go to The Battle of Broken Ridge. Apparently it was rather traumatic for Sarge and going back would reopen some old wounds, but he’s willing to face it to fix it. We’ll talk more about this later. Simmons wants to instead go to a lab to get the gun taken apart to figure out how it works since nothing else had made sense and he wants to have something explainable. But Sarge convinces him to just figure it out by actually using the gun, leading us to the Battle of Broken Ridge… so using Ancient Egypt last episode was a total copout so no mummy fights. Damn it!

So yeah, after Gus, I mean Simmons, I mean Gus (come on, you can’t tell me he WOULDN’T do the same thing cause nerds) acts like a nerd by making a log, he and Sarge see the battle in progress. Past Sarge was a lieutenant at the time and sends his men out to make a surprise attack while he covered them from behind the ridges. This ended with them all getting massacred, and present Sarge figures that this is because the went in the wrong direction. SO he goes and tells them to go the other way.. which past Sarge makes them go back and… well, you can figure out how it ends. From the afterlife, I can just see Church laughing at them cause now they know how he felt during his time travel stint (yeah it was a simulation, but still)

Finally, we have Lopez coming back online after his head came off and Caboose fixed him. Shock of all shocks, I think Caboose has understood what Lopez is saying moreso than any other character as he tries to figure out Donut’s warning. He concludes on… universal savings… okay who let Joel write on the scripts?! But yeah, Caboose wants to create savings accounts for everyone in hopes of saving the universe. Too bad that he lost the penny he had on him, but it’s okay! Cause he actually figured out how the portal gun works! Because of course he did!

So the two end up back to the opening scene. Caboose tries to find his penny and… remember when Caboose seemed to lose focus and Grif had to remind him to find Donut? Turns out that it was resent Caboose and past Caboose actually didn’t lose focus. Ah, I love it when jokes come back around like that! So Caboose goes through another portal to keep looking, Lopez resigns himself to the end of the world, and somewhere Burnie is probably wondering how even with Church dead his character somehow always gets saddled with Joel’s. I guess we’ll never know.

Review

This was shorter than last week, but BOY does it leave me plenty to talk about!

The episode seems to exist to explain how the time travel will work, some more character development setup, and just to have some comedic hijinks after last weeks more plot heavy episode. And I thought it was great! Like I said, it reminds me a lot of Season 3 when everyone was separated and the first episode with it jumping back and forth between the pairs, setting up their situations. IDK if this was an intentional callback, but I liked it nonetheless. And everyones current situations and the pair dynamics were done very well. So lets just go in order here:

Grif and Doc: This is the one I’m most interested in, and so far I’m pleased! Beginning with Grif, he’s reacting exactly how I expected him to, ala being angry at the whole thing. t makes sense. Despite his efforts, the universe decided to shit on him again and thrust him and the others into another adventure and one arguably more insane than ever before. He’s also stuck with Doc, who he’s never particularly been on good terms with. Heck when he WAS friendly to Doc back in Blood Gulch and even got validation for using CPR to cure Sarges head wound, Doc threw him under the bus when he realized that Grif was the butt monkey. That was a dick move. Of course Doc has been shit on by everyone far more at this point, but still Grif’s got a bit more of an excuse than the others. Plus again, he was’t there when Doc turned on them and he at least had the dignity to just quit an tell them that he quit before things went to shit instead of just turn his back on then in a dire moment.

But going to Doc… his reaction is good. He actually takes responsibility for his actions, feels guilty that it contributed to everything that happened (Wash getting shot), and that he ultimately couldn’t talk the Blues and Reds out of their plans. He feels that he failed both sides and that in doing so, everyone got hurt. He even completley understands Grif hating him for it since he feels the same way about it. He doesn’t try to make excuses, even when honestly he has very valid reasons to make excuses. He’s been constantly shit on, forgotten about, and even got trapped in another dimension before and everyone just forgot about it and didn’t care. But we could say that betraying the guys when he knows that the Blues and Reds have fallen off their rocker was going a tad too far, even if he did try to use it to convince them to stop and failed. But its a nice look into Doc’s current psyche and Matt did a great job expressing how disappointed in himself he is.

Now will this lead to anything? It might. Normally with Doc, it’s hard to tell. I feel there may be a point where Doc either sacrifices himself to save Grif in a pivitol moment, like shoving him through a portal when one of the villains find him, or he goes all O’Malley to make a sacrifice play so that Grif can escape. IDK, but going off the self-loathing there’s a god chance that something’s gonna happen and this time it may have more of an impact. We’ll have to wait and see, but  hey it’s something. Can’t wait to see what happens with these two next!

Tucker and Sister: Their moment is mainly for comedy but it was good! Like I said, I loved seeing Valhalla again. IDK if they’ll still be there later, but hey I appreciate the callback. It’s also nice to see Tucker being… well, Tucker again. Hes had a lot of character development since Chorus, and it was very well done. But after last season, while I personally didn’t find him OOC, I an see why the way he was written was frustrating for people. Plus after all the events in Chorus and S15, I think we needed to see him in a happier state of mind, and it looks like he is. I said before that it felt like S15 was Joe trying to put the bookend on Blue Team’s problems, and I think it shows. Tucker seems far more relaxed and comedic, like during Recollection. Hopefully he still has his newfound competence, and I assume that when things go to shit again we’ll see that. But he’s in a place where he can be comedic Tucker without him coming across as an arrogant idiot, so this is good.

Then we have Sister… OMG Sister. SO as I said above, I did not care about Sister when I was watertight Blood Gulch. She wasn’t particularly bad, her personality was strong and fitting for the cast of characters she was in. But… she didn’t really do anything. According to Burnie on the DVD commentaries, he had wanted to add her for a while and S5 was the only place he could, but still you could write he rout and very little would change. Her being gone for over half the series since then doesn’t help. But the upside to adidng her back is now they can actually do stuff with her, and so far I’m happy!

Okay so Sister’s so far only expressed wanting to bang historical figures and I kind of hope we can see her do more than make sex jokes. But hey, we can officially confirm her bi now so yay canon bisexual character! Plus the way her and Tucker’s banter was written was very well done. It was really funny and her proving to be far more ambitious with her sex life and finding Tucker not worth remembering was hilarious. Plus her just not giving a shit about Tucker’s advances are both hilarious and make me very happy. Sorry Tucker, but hey at least our probably the only guy who an claim to have had sex with an entire planet… and still paying the lawsuit for it XD

Sarge and Simmons: It was hilarious, Plain and simple. It’s been a pretty good while since these two had one-on-one time and so far I’m pleased with what we have. Simmons wanting to study the gun and have some kind of explanation he can cling to when noting else is making any kind of logical sense is perfectly IC. I’m also glad to see him actually disagreeing with Sarge and trying to get his own point across. Simmons has mostly grown out of the kissass phase, at least tot he extent he was in Blood Gulch, and I’m glad to see that sticking. He feels a lot mroe independent but still the nerd we all know and love. Character development, yay!

Then we have the Battle of Broken Ridge and all the continuity stuff it brings up. If I had to guess, it takes place early in Sarge’s military career before he became an ODST or this was before he got put into Blood Gulch. Considering we don’t completely know how these outposts operate aside form how they use the SIM troopers, I don’t find it hard to buy that Sarge has been on multiple Red Teams before getting recruited for Blood Gulch. But these guys have brown armor so… IDK. But still, it’s good to see some backstory and it was good to see Sarge try to save his men. Sure it looks like he failed, but hey he tried.

Still, it really DOES make me ponder on this whole ‘fixing the past’ thing. Like… what does Donut mean by the past? For the Reds and Blues to fix their own pasts? I’m assuming not since Sarge only inadvertently caused it. Did the villains do something in the past and damage it? Why didn’t Donut just say that though? Or is ‘God’ just using the Reds and Blues to invoke what will fulfill the prophecy mentioned in Episode 1? After all, it’s said they end the world and this may be the catalyst that cause sit, hence why Huggins (where is she BTW?) has to follow them around. But I would hope that the puppetmaster would have made a reasonable explanation about what had to be fixed to provoke that. IDK, it’s way too early to tell and this is a multi-part saga, so we’re just gonna have to see how it plays out.

And finally…

Caboose and Lopez: THIS WAS EVERYTHING I HOPED FOR. Caboose being… Caboose, but also showing that he CAN be competent in his own way. Sure he got Donut’s message wrong, but at least he was thinking about it. Plus he was able to both fix Lopez and actually understand what he said. IDK if Caboose can speak Spanish, but I absolute believe that he can just until what Lopez is saying. And unlike everyone else, except maybe Simmons unless they just used shuffle enough times until they got the right portal (which if that isn’t the case, kudos to Simmons for figuring it out on his own), Caboose is the only one who figured out how to make the gun work. So now hes on a Penny Quest as Lopez continues to regret his own existence. I love it!

I admit I wasn’t sure how this was going to work since Caboose and Lopez are the two most incomprehensible characters int he show. Caboose is random and dimwitted, and no one an understand Lopez at all. But it’s surprisingly really funny so far! Normally having characters together alone like this without someone else to keep it balanced can be annoying very quickly. But in this case, it came off as really funny and not exaggerated. I guess it helps that Caboose can understand what Lopez is saying, but still it’s just the right balance. Which is good since I assume that they’re going to be the comedy relief pair for now. But who knows?

Final Thoughts

As I said, this seems to be here to show us how the time travel will play out and I assume the next episode will either cut to Chorus or focus on one pair for the majority of it. We’ll have to see. Still, this was good! The interactions were really good and I really enjoyed seeing it play out. Everyone felt IC and leaves plenty of setup for their respective situations. It leaves the question of what happened to Donut, but I guess we’ll find out eventually. But overall, this was a fun episode that perfectly sets up what we can expect. Hopefully, we’ll be delivered just what we’re hoping for.

[sailors-fightinginthedancehall]

Season 5, Episode 1!

Vibes, amazing artwork ooh look a bald guy

Do I know the bald guy? I feel like I do

I also feel like he's staring into my soul I wish he wouldn't do that

That is a lot of ... Milk? vitamins? Drugs? Whatever it is there's a lot of it

That's very empty, kinda suspicious

Oh there's a reason it's suspicious they're doing some probably illegal stuff got it

OH WAIT THEY DID THAT TO THE TEAM ARE THEY THE GUYS???

Fair enough, it's extremely boring, sports

OH THOSE ARE THE GUYS NOTED

... who did you leave behind? WHO DID YOU LEAVE BEHIND?!

Coulson, Mack, May, Simmons ... Alright who else was there? Daisy, Fitz and Yo-Yo, am I missing anybody? Got to check for those until I'm told who was left behind

OH NOT ANOTHER PORTAL

Why on earth would the portal lead there?

Kill that thing? WHAT THING? WHY IS IT TRYING TO KILL YOU?

Those are all questions I would love to know the answers to

Zero.

"Roaches" is certainly easier to remember than the thing beginning with V you just said.

HI MACK :D

Well you can scratch that one off the bucket list!

Okay, Yo-Yo's there too. Just Daisy and Fitz left to see. Unless I've forgotten someone. Or it's just the waitress.

"Outer" is very precise, thanks for that Coulson

Now who would that happen to be?

Do they perhaps take off that mask?

OH GOD WE GOT A SPACY THEME MUSIC AND A NEW LOGO GUYS SHIT IS REAL

Yes May I agree, wasn't fun enough. Needs more fun.

Coulson you're better than Inspector Gadget! EXCEPT ONLY WHEN YOU HAVE YOUR COOL HAND

Mack is just done with the bullshit

There's SWORD, but they're not on the moon

Fair point Mack, that's a very fair point! You don't half hit people!

But if you were a fireman then I never would have been able to see you in this TV show that I am a healthy amount obsessed with!

Yeah weird random stranger, don't call her Yo-Yo

FITZ DIDN'T MAKE IT OKAY NOW WHERE IS DAISY?

Been there done that, probably do it again

... Somehow I do not think that he will be showing you anything. I think he might be a little bit dead.

THERE'S DAISY! :D

Ooh the helmet is off except I CAN'T SEE THE FACE JUST THE HAIR IT'S VERY ANNOYING

Is that like a tracker? Why are you cutting it out of him why? What is that thing?

Oh Jesus Christ hello I guess

Well that's a nice greeting

HOW DARE YOU NO YOU FUCKING DON'T YOU JUST SAID YOU WANTED TO HURT MAY YOU DESERVE A HELL OF A LOAD OF PAIN

WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT

SMALL PACKAGE?! HOW DARE YOU

The world is a simulation!

Stonehenge? Not your best reference

:( He's doing everything he can!

Absolutely not.

It's went from "has nobody seen a robot movie" to "has nobody seen an alien movie"

Honestly you just look like some dysfunctional congo line Coulson, hate to break it to you

Ah so they're called a Metric? What's a Metric?

OH GOD HOW ABOUT YOU DON'T

Howard Stark? I can't see Howard Stark creating this

Well that's comforting

Jemma Simmons the magician!

Home :)

Think of it as a scavenger hunt!

OH HIYA FELLAS ...

How about you don't experiment huh

I don't think they'll beg for their lives. Depends on what you do, but if it's bad they'll beg for the other's life

So then what do you want to hear? Spanish? Mack's giving you Spanish.

May :)

Fr fr best buddy right there

Goddammit we don't trust Virgil guys!

Gallery? You're inviting the Kree to look at paintings?

Aw, he called her Mi amor <3

I don't think that's good thinking honestly I think you should just let them live their lives

Yeah NO NO DON'T DO THAT

Ah so they're called Kreepers, good to know

May's a pilot!

Nice to meet you Deke I guess

Yeah they just wanted pie :(

Some sense of normalcy, interrogation

Oh dear.

RESCUE YO-YO DAISY RESCUE THEM

Because they seem to be weirdly obsessed with them.

YES DAISY! GREAT JOB GANG!

Well it's lucky you kept that Simmons!

You seem to have words though, Simmons

Wing nut? That's an insult

Coulson's probably wishing he was high right now and that this is some sort of drug-induced fever dream

You'd look great with two hooks, Yo-Yo. But it's good you don't have them.

... is pie not a thing here?

Yeah last time I checked earth was fairly not falling apart (I mean it is on the inside but not like that)

Oh god that must be so sad for Fitz

[calliecat93]

RvB16 Episode 3 Review: Lost Time

Wasn’t last week fun everyone? I thought it was fun! But yeah, a lot of shit happened despite Grif’s attempts to not let shit happen... that we can argue caused the shit to happen. Isn’t meta humor fun kids?! But yeah scary alien woman attacked (and converted Tumblr into her own group of worshipers from what I can tell), Donut is a God, and everyone’s been separated ala Season 3. Only this time with time travel... ala Season 3 but the separation happened before that part! I just gave myself a headache. Well.. lets get on with the review while my brain is still intact.

Overview

We begin on... IDK if it’s a planet or not, but someplace with snow! This is where Grif and Doc got sent... so this is the second time a portal sent Grif off to same snowy wasteland. Man, this really is like Season 3 only he’s taking Church’s role as the grumpy one while Doc is... Doc. Well at least he didn’t get hit in the nuts immideatly after  or thrown in a prison cell this time! Anyways, snowy wasteland! Doc is freaked out about the entire thing and what it means while Grif is trying to figure out how the portal gun works so that they can get out before they freeze. He’s also grumpy. But to be fair, if I saw a perfectly good pizza parlor blow up in front of me, I would be grumpy too.

Grif is also refusing to let Doc help or even get near him. Why? Well he’s pissed off cause they got roped into bullshit again, but the biggest thing seems to be that he got stuck with Doc who... you know, is a piss poor combatant, bad at his medic job, and had betrayed them not too long ago. To be fair, Doc... completely understands Grif hating him for that. Heck, he feels guilty for what he did. I’ll get into it more in the analysis portion, but it looks like Joe may be giving Doc character development... or is leading up to a joke later. but hey he’s giving Doc attention. More than I can say for Miles’ run (sorry Miles, I love you but I’m gonna point stuff like that out). Grif ignores the sob story to work on the gun, and to his credit he gets the thing to work... on shuffle. Okay, why did God put a shuffle function on the gun? Then again, God has his ways and as a Christian I should know to not question it... assuming that that’s the God we’re refereeing to anyways. Lets just pretend that’s the case for now.

Meanwhile, Tucker and Sister have made the same revelation. The two of them have ended up, to my glee, in Valhalla! Since the Recollection Trilogy is my favorite storyline, seeing it again makes me SO happy. IDK what point this is at. It could be before the Reds and Caboose got sent there, could be after the Reds fought Wash and the Meta, I don’t know. But who cares? It’s Valhalla again! I am happy! Also we learn that Tucker is atheist and Sister, like her brother, is agnostic. Good to know!

Tucker tries to figure out Donut’s cryptic warning of ‘the key to fixing the future is to fix the past’ or something along those lines. Sister however wants to hold it off and have a little ‘fun’ with Tucker... by going through time to bang various historical figures! And Sister is officially more sexually ambitious than Tucker could ever hope to be. Tucker, being Tucker, is unhappy that... you know, she doesn't want to bang him and all. He also refers to them apparently having had sex in Blood Gulch that... I forgot about I guess. But Sister says it didn’t happen and it wasn’t all that memorable anyways. Ouch... you know, when binging I found Sister pointless all in all and that writing her out would have changed nothing. But now that she’s back and Joe is actually giving her attention, I freakin’ LOVE her. Keep it up Joe!

So now over to Simmons and Sarge with Simmons trying to figure the gun out. Him being a nerd, he’s far more confused and nitpicky about it than the others have been. Sarge is more than happy to accept having a ‘magic gun’ though and wants to get on to the ‘fixing the past’ thing. How? Well his first thought is to go to The Battle of Broken Ridge. Apparently it was rather traumatic event for Sarge and going back would reopen some old wounds, but he’s willing to face it to fix it. We’ll talk more about this later. Simmons wants to instead go to a lab to get the gun taken apart to figure out how it works since nothing else had made sense and he wants to have something explainable. But Sarge convinces him to just figure it out by actually using the gun, leading us to the Battle of Broken Ridge... so using Ancient Egypt last episode was a total copout so no mummy fights. Damn it!

So yeah, after Gus, I mean Simmons, I mean Gus (come on, you can’t tell me he WOULDN’T do the same thing cause nerds) acts like a nerd by making a log, he and Sarge see the battle in progress. Past!Sarge was a lieutenant at the time and sends his men out to make a surprise attack while he covered them from behind the ridges. This ended with them all getting massacred, and present!Sarge figures that this is because the went in the wrong direction. So he goes and tells them to go the other way.. which past!Sarge makes them go back and... well, you can figure out how it ends. From the afterlife, I can just see Church laughing at them cause now they know how he felt during his time travel stint.

Finally, we have Lopez coming back online after his head came off and Caboose fixed him. Shock of all shocks, I think Caboose has understood what Lopez is saying moreso than any other character as he tries to figure out Donut’s warning. He concludes on... universal savings... okay who let Joel write on the scripts?! But yeah, Caboose wants to create savings accounts for everyone in hopes of saving the universe. Too bad that he lost the penny he had on him, but it’s okay! Cause he actually figured out how the portal gun works! Because of course he did!

So the two end up back to the opening scene. Caboose tries to find his penny and... remember when Caboose seemed to lose focus and Grif had to remind him to find Donut? Turns out that it was present!Caboose and past!Caboose actually didn’t lose focus. Ah, I love it when jokes come back around like that! So Caboose goes through another portal to keep looking, Lopez resigns himself to the end of the world, and somewhere Burnie is probably wondering how even with Church dead his character somehow always gets saddled with Joel’s. I guess we’ll never know.

Review

This was shorter than last week, but BOY does it leave me plenty to talk about!

The episode seems to exist to explain how the time travel will work, some more character development setup, and just to have some comedic hijinks after last weeks more plot heavy episode. And I thought it was great! Like I said, it reminds me a lot of Season 3 when everyone was separated and the first episode with it jumping back and forth between the pairs, setting up their situations. IDK if this was an intentional callback, but I liked it nonetheless. And everyone's current situations and the pair dynamics were done very well. So lets just go in order here:

Grif and Doc: This is the one I’m most interested in, and so far I’m pleased! Beginning with Grif, he’s reacting exactly how I expected him to, ala being angry at the whole thing. It makes sense. Despite his efforts, the universe decided to shit on him again and thrust him and the others into another adventure and one arguably more insane than ever before. He’s also stuck with Doc, who he’s never particularly been on good terms with. Heck when he WAS friendly to Doc back in Blood Gulch and even got validation for using CPR to cure Sarges head wound, Doc threw him under the bus when he realized that Grif was the butt monkey. That was a dick move. Of course Doc has been shit on by everyone far more at this point, but still Grif’s got a bit more of an excuse than the others. Plus again, he was’t there when Doc turned on them and he at least had the dignity to just quit and tell them that he quit before things went to shit instead of just turn his back on then in a dire moment. 

But going to Doc... his reaction is good. He actually takes responsibility for his actions, feels guilty that it contributed to everything that happened (Wash getting shot), and that he ultimately couldn’t talk the Blues and Reds out of their plans. He feels that he failed both sides and that in doing so, everyone got hurt. He even completely understands Grif hating him for it since he feels the same way about it. He doesn’t try to make excuses, even when honestly he has very valid reasons to make excuses. He’s been constantly shit on, forgotten about, and even got trapped in another dimension before and everyone just forgot about it or just didn’t care. But we could say that betraying the guys when he knows that the Blues and Reds have fallen off their rocker was going a tad too far, even if he did try to use it to convince them to stop and failed. But its a nice look into Doc’s current psyche and Matt did a great job expressing how disappointed in himself he is.

Now will this lead to anything? It might. Normally with Doc, it’s hard to tell. I feel there may be a point where Doc either sacrifices himself to save Grif in a pivotal moment, like shoving him through a portal when one of the villains find him, or he goes all O’Malley to make a sacrifice play so that Grif can escape. IDK, but going off the self-loathing there’s a good chance that something’s gonna happen, and this time it may have more of an impact. We’ll have to wait and see, but hey it’s something. Can’t wait to see what happens with these two next!

Tucker and Sister: Their moment is mainly for comedy but it was good! Like I said, I loved seeing Valhalla again. IDK if they’ll still be there later, but hey I appreciate the callback. It’s also nice to see Tucker being... well, Tucker again. Hes had a lot of character development since Chorus, and it was very well done. But after last season, while I personally didn’t find him OOC, I can see why the way he was written was frustrating for people. Plus after all the events in Chorus and S15, I think we needed to see him in a happier state of mind, and it looks like he is. I said before that it felt like S15 was Joe trying to put the bookend on Blue Team’s problems, and I think it shows. Tucker seems far more relaxed and comedic, like during Recollection. Hopefully he still has his newfound competence, and I assume that when things go to shit again we’ll see that. But he’s in a place where he can be comedic Tucker without him coming across as an arrogant idiot, so this is good.

Then we have Sister... OMG Sister. SO as I said above, I did not care about Sister when I was watching Blood Gulch. She wasn't particularly bad, her personality was strong and fitting for the cast of characters she was in. But... she didn’t really do anything. According to Burnie on the DVD commentaries, he had wanted to add her for a while and S5 was the only place he could, but still you could write her out and very little would change. Her being gone for over half the series since then doesn’t help. But the upside to adding her back is now they can actually do stuff with her, and so far I’m happy!

Okay so Sister’s so far only expressed wanting to bang historical figures and I kind of hope we can see her do more than make sex jokes. But hey, we can officially confirm her bi now so yay canon bisexual character! Plus the way her and Tucker’s banter was written was very well done. It was really funny and her proving to be far more ambitious with her sex life and finding Tucker not worth remembering was hilarious. Plus her just not giving a shit about Tucker’s advances are both hilarious and make me very happy. Sorry Tucker, but hey at least our probably the only guy who an claim to have had sex with an entire planet... and still paying the lawsuit for it XD

Sarge and Simmons: It was hilarious, Plain and simple. It’s been a pretty good while since these two had one-on-one time and so far I’m pleased with what we have. Simmons wanting to study the gun and have some kind of explanation he can cling to when nothing else is making any kind of logical sense is perfectly IC. I’m also glad to see him actually disagreeing with Sarge and trying to get his own point across. Simmons has mostly grown out of the kissass phase, at least to the extent he was in Blood Gulch, and I’m glad to see that sticking. He feels a lot more independent but is still the nerd we all know and love. Character development, yay!

Then we have the Battle of Broken Ridge and all the continuity stuff it brings up. If I had to guess, it takes place early in Sarge’s military career before he became an ODST or this was before he got put into Blood Gulch. Considering we don’t completely know how these outposts operate aside form how they use the SIM Troopers, I don’t find it hard to buy that Sarge has been on multiple Red Teams before getting recruited for Blood Gulch. But these guys have brown armor so... IDK. But still, it’s good to see some backstory and it was good to see Sarge try to save his men. Sure it looks like he failed, but hey he tried.

Still, it really DOES make me ponder on this whole ‘fixing the past’ thing. Like... what does Donut mean by the past? For the Reds and Blues to fix their own pasts? I’m assuming not since Sarge only inadvertently caused it. Did the villains do something in the past and damage it? Why didn’t Donut just say that though? Or is ‘God’ just using the Reds and Blues to invoke what will fulfill the prophecy mentioned in Episode 1? After all, it’s said they end the world and this may be the catalyst that causes it, hence why Huggins (where is she BTW?) has to follow them around. But I would hope that the puppetmaster would have made a reasonable explanation about what had to be fixed to provoke that. IDK, it’s way too early to tell and this is a multi-part saga, so we’re just gonna have to see how it plays out.

And finally...

Caboose and Lopez: THIS WAS EVERYTHING I HOPED FOR. Caboose being... Caboose, but also showing that he CAN be competent in his own way. Sure he got Donut’s message wrong, but at least he was thinking about it. Plus he was able to both fix Lopez and actually understand what he said. IDK if Caboose can speak Spanish, but I absolute believe that he can just get what Lopez is saying. And unlike everyone else, except maybe Simmons unless they just used shuffle enough times until they got the right portal (which if that isn’t the case, kudos to Simmons for figuring it out on his own), Caboose is the only one who figured out how to make the gun work. So now hes on a Penny Quest as Lopez continues to regret his own existence. I love it!

I admit I wasn’t sure how this was going to work since Caboose and Lopez are the two most incomprehensible characters in the show. Caboose is random and dimwitted, and no one an understand Lopez at all. But it’s surprisingly really funny so far! Normally having characters together alone like this without someone else to keep it balanced can be annoying very quickly. But in this case, it came off as really funny and not exaggerated. I guess it helps that Caboose can understand what Lopez is saying, but still it’s just the right balance. Which is good since I assume that they’re going to be the comedy relief pair for now. But who knows?

Final Thoughts

As I said, this seems to be here to show us how the time travel will play out and I assume the next episode will either cut to Chorus or focus on one pair for the majority of it. We’ll have to see. Still, this was good! The interactions were really good and I really enjoyed seeing it play out. Everyone felt IC and leaves plenty of setup for their respective situations. It leaves the question of what happened to Donut, but I guess we’ll find out eventually. But overall, this was a fun episode that perfectly sets up what we can expect. Hopefully, we’ll be delivered just what we’re hoping for.