#She would be proud of me today.
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Tristora in a phantom of the opera au bc why not
What could I do with this? Let's see... Basic premise: Aurora de Martel is, as far as the world knows, the sole survivor of the deadly fire that took away her family, her home and her good fortune. Orphaned at seven years of age, Aurora would eventually reunite with a voice from her past at the Palais Garnier. Becoming the visible but unrecognized face of the strange duet that holds a phantasmagorical hold over the place. Who asks the other on dates: In the beginning Tristan is the one who always appears and invites her to secret meetings under the cover of the night. But I believe Aurora is probably more pro-active than your prototypical Christine Daaé. She is very intuitively aware of the moments when Tristan is watching over her. She is almost supernaturally good at realizing when she can say something subtle out loud and expect him to hear. Including allusions to the desire for a speedy meeting between the two. Added to this, they have at least one or two secret spots where Aurora can leave a ciphered or coded message, following their new tradition, and she is not afraid to use them to suggest time and place for their next clandestine encounter.
Who is the bigger cuddler: They spent some years apart in this au and one can instantly tell by the way both of their bodies very naturally react like perpetually attracted magnets ravenous to demand a feast for each missing day. Who initiates holding hands more often: Following the aesthetics of the film, Tristan began wearing leather gloves and the first thing Aurora does whenever they see each other, sometimes without even realizing it, is get rid of them. Who remembers anniversaries: I don't think they celebrate anniversaries here. In part because every day since their re-encounter carries a special, festive air for them. Aurora still receives something quite unique to celebrate her for her birthday. No matter the universe it appears she will never get rid of that. Who is more possessive: Tristan is ferociously envious of the seething injustice of anyone and everyone who gets to share the world with Aurora for a fleeting second in a way he no longer can. Who gets more jealous: Tristan. Although there are times when Tristan's written demands suggestions for the opera house mention the positive traits of some specific performer or another and Aurora gives him a run for his money. Who is more protective: Tristan will hang you from a rope if you so much as make his sister sad one lonely time. Who is more likely to cheat: Tristan has one fourth of his face burned under the owl-themed mask and his profession is as governing legend over an opera house. An acquired taste of a gentleman, let's say. Speaking in statistics alone, he is not precisely a coveted bachelor here. Who initiates sexy times the most: Whoever is not holding or playing a musical instrument at that given moment. Who dislikes PDA the most: Aurora has some bold and wild ideas on just how much they can get away with under the right disguise in public. Tristan is both extremely elated and sharply cautious about exploring some of the world at her side again under these condition. Neither of them is at all opposed to the displays of affection involved. Who kills the spider: Tristan explained that you can transform even catacombs into a glorious and grand hideaway if you learned how to make the territory yours. Aurora proceeded to kill the spider. That was her way of making the territory hers. Who asks the the other to marry them: No marriage proposal. Although there is a very much say you'll share with me one love one lifetime at the end of Point of No Return moment. Who buys the other flowers or gifts: Added to the obvious flowers, Tristan writes her plots to harmoniously accompany her music and makes sure they are transformed into plays for her enjoyment. Although no one except for them knows some of the compositions originally came from Aurora. Tristan does sign differently depending on if what he is presenting is of his own authorship, Aurora's or a collaboration. This caused some to theorize that they are haunted not by one but several spirits. Aurora has some financial limitations when it comes to gifts in this universe but whatever she gifts Tristan, he most definitely treasures. Who would bring up possibly having kids: The real question is when are we going to find an au where that is an attractive possibility for either of them. Because I don't think this universe is going to be the exception. Who is more nervous to meet the parents: Zombies are a dreadful pest. All of us should be if not nervous at least annoyed when thinking about the possibility of zombies. Who sleeps on the couch when the other is angry: What couch? Begone from my sight, not-applicable question Who tries to make up first after arguments: A strange system of hinting innuendos and extremely small insinuations and gestures any other person would call them insane for assuming the other understands. They both understand it. Who tells the other they love them more often: They probably fell sleep in the intimate reverie of hearing it repeatedly from the other after they reunited. They haven't been able to keep count since then.
#Ladamedemartel#Hopefully it isn't a complete disaster.#This ended up being 90% inspired by the film and musical.#With only minor references to the book.#I talked to you about Iris right? My sister slash musical theatre fanatic?#She would be proud of me today.
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@foundthatoldzeppelinshirt what did u do to me...what in the wattpad is this... i only planned to do a few doodles but then i kept getting more brainrotted and things got out of hand LMAOO (and ofc i HAD to draw hockey player seb at SOME POINT bc its my duty as a canadian citizen🫡🍁🍁 O CANADA!!!)
#my dad loves hockey and i grew up with him just yelling at the tv and saying WATCH THIS! WATCH THIS! OH DID YOU SEE THAT??#the only time i would watch/found it interesting was during shootouts or whenever fights broke out BAHAHA god... theres so much fighting#the amount of blood i put on seb isnt even an exaggeration or anything out of the ordinary if youve watched hockey LMFAO#tho something i always found super cute about hockey is that the players always give each other head pats on their helmets its ADORABLE#my dad always tried to get me into hockey and now i guess i finally did something hockey related LMAOO are u proud of me papa???#hogwarts legacy#hogwarts legacy sebastian#sebastian sallow x mc#sebastian sallow#sebastian sallow x oc#sebastian x mc#clora clemons#choccyart#ask#i love drawing clora in white and blue she looks like a snow fairy#and idk if its just bc im in canada but we constantly went to the skating rink for field trips and stuff in elementary school#nothing like skating on freshly zamboni'd ice mmmm thats the STUFF#going to a christmas market today as well im excited i hope they have FOOD
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I'm doing it. I'm taking a Break.
#so i was making some designs right. and i just burst into tears#and i called ola and she said she would break my fingers unless i turned the puter off#naturally#im not allowed to think about ouro for god knows. two weeks maybe. three.#ONLY zero days no fucking 'im so tired today i will only write or i will only paint or i will only format#i want to stop neglecting my friends#and my needs!!! ouro will get done when its done and it will not cost me my health#god my therapist is gonna be so proud of me im gonna get a good grade in therapy#and now im gonna go to the gym and lift heavy stuff and then i will swim and then i will do NOTHING#....or play the deeproads dlc for dai. thats what i want to do
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One HSR Character a Day Day 41: Serval (aka: revs' favorite)
#honkai star rail#serval landau#hsr edits#revsdailyhsr#THE BEST DAMN GIRL EVER AND MY MIND WONT BE CHANGED!! AAAHH my god she's so incredibly talented from all#her research work as a silvermane guard and mechanic to rocking out in her own band and singing like a goddess. mad respect#to each one of her voice actors for that. especially Natalie because good heavens y'all her performance is literal perfection.#it fits serval so well and all the emotion you hear during her companion quest is phenomenal it makes me wanna cry. her#backstory with cocolia is heartbreaking yet she still manages to continue on and live her best life and im so happy and proud.#she's such a sweetheart to her siblings and chill and strong and straight up beautiful so yes OF COURSE i had to include#both light cones. she's my absolute favorite and i can do whatever i want on my birthday thank you very much! and that's#exactly why i started this whole edit series when i did so that the countdown would line up perfect with her landing on today.#also gave the other siblings a quote about their family so had to do the same with her. so i figured yeah why not both lcs? because#she deserves all the praise and definitely earned herself a spot in my heart for many years to come. i love her like crazy.
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Was doing so good holding it together today but now that I’m laying down and trying to sleep I’m tearing up and I can feel that I’m about to burst into tears any second now
#my mom called me like ten minutes before I was off work today#and asked if I had talked to my grandpa lately and I was like yeah some why?#I’ve been showing what I’ve been cooking with him and my grandma because I was proud of myself#and she was like oh so you know about his potential surgery?#and I was like. his what???????#apparently his pace maker is dying and malfunctioning and he needs a new one#but this is the third time it’s had to be replaced and as he’s gotten older he’s had a lot more health issues#and they’re not even sure his heart can handle getting it replaced…. he has an appointment tomorrow to find that out#and no one told me. no one fucking told me it was that bad and I’m so#like man my feelings on my grandparents are so insanely complicated but I do love them#I love them so much and they practically raised me and loved me more and treated me better than my mother EVER did#they’re the only family members I’ve ever been legitimately terrified and upset over not accepting me cuz I’m queer#like my mom and siblings? I could not give a flying fuck if they hated me for my gender or sexuality#if my grandparents had a bad reaction I think I would fucking kill myself#and idk the point is I love him and I’ve barely seen him at all the past few years because we live far away now and I never visit because I#hate the rest of my family#but what if he can’t have this surgery?????#or what if he can but something goes wrong??????#what if he’s dying and I’m only able to go down and see him one more time#and he could be fine. it might all work out and he could be fine#but man I’m terrified that won’t happen because WHY WOULD NO ONE TELL ME ANY OF THIS#and yeah no I’m fully crying now I can’t do this#he taught me to draw and he built the house I grew up in and he got me into lord of the rings and would take me book shopping#and and and I’m gonna fucking throw up#kaz rambles
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When still living in the same city as her there is always a chance that you will run into a person you Do Not want to see, and even if you recognize her but you are not sure she saw you and you only walked by her it can Still absolutely Tank your mood for the rest of the day.
#monster noises#and I was so proud of myself too!#i did pride today and I was up on the float doing crowdwork!!#a few years ago i would have absolutely locked up and had a bit of a breakdown and had to get down or run away or something#but I did it and I did a good job!#but then I saw her at a bus stop i was unavoidably going to be walking past and my brain was Immediately like#-One Thousand Screams Alarm-#and I walked past quickly and she was talking to someone else and my hairs much longer than when she last saw me and so's my beard#and i had a hat and sunglasses on so she probably didn't even See me amd it wouldn't have mattered if she Did#cause she also probably doesn't want to chat idly with me#it still freaked me out real bad#and now my brains just been spiralling all around that junk all afternoon#when i should have been working on my Comic#and ACK#i wanted to have this done this weekend but that's kinda on me for forgetting Pride was happening this weekend as well vjcjkdc#but i digress#really didn't need to see her at the time i'm at in my life right now specifically#but it was both pride and a convention for a thing she's really into this weekend so the percent chance we'd be in the same area went Way u#it was bound to happen#just#Ugh
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Please pray that a complicated billing situation will be sorted out and covered by my insurance. It's for an ambulance ride I had in June for a panic attack. Some of you might remember me panicking about it a few months ago when I got the statement.
#it's a giant bill and my mom's insurance which is my primary only covered a tiny portion of it#and the ambulance service tried only once to contact my secondary insurance and they never even got it#so they never covered anything#but they were never contacted#so then i made them contact each other when it was made apparent that otherwise i would owe $2020.#yes two thousand and twenty dollars#and then i was waiting for them to deal with it#and today i just received another statement still showing that they never contacted that insurance and that i owe them the money by the 30th#so i panicked a little bit#then called the insurance and they said they had just recieved the claim on the first#so then i called the ambulance service and told them so and asked if the due date of the 30th was still in place#and she said no it's on hold and the insurance lady said most likely some of it would be covered#so hopefully it will go down drastically#and man this whole situation is like.... why did i have to do all the contacting back and forth#i thought that was y'all's job#but whatever#so now i am waiting again :)#fully aware that i may still owe a large chunk of that#but it's okay bc i am starting a new job and all will be well :)))))))#right???????#all will be well??????#and it was a dang panic attack that started all this#so i feel somewhat like this is all my fault#if i had never taken that thc gummy and greened out so bad and worked myself up none of this would be happening :)#but that's not healthy for me to think#it's in the past and i truly thought i needed to go in so in that moment i was doing what i thought i needed to do to take care of myself#i should be proud of myself for that#i just wish healthcare was different in this country
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saw photos of callum turner from the boys in the boat and he's finally done it.. i think i'm attracted to him
#maybe my brain is just fucking with me today but we'll see#no one is supposed to look good with bleach blonde hair like that#all the pics of him from that movie are sooo slutty too#i'm very into it#where is mads she would be proud
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i always said that once i stop caring what other people think about me it’s over for you bitches and it’s finally happened i’m literally untouchable
#everyone else my age like oh i’m getting married ! oh i had a baby ! me i’m becoming evil#i decided months ago that i’m done i live in the worst place in the country or on earth even and these asshole people are not getting any#more out of me. i don’t smile at anyone anymore. i don’t make eye contact. i’m done with this place and these rude ass people#so today i was at the gas station and pulled up behind someone and got out and the pump didn’t work so i got back in#and waited for the girl in front of me to be done bc everywhere else had a line anyway#so when she finally leaves the asshole in the jeep behind me is yelling at me through his window and literally about to rear end me#and i’m trying to tell him that one doesn’t work so he’s still yelling at me through the window and i keep mouthing IT DOES NOT WORK#bc he simply is not getting and finally he sticks his piece of shit head out the window and LISTENS to me and i said it DOESNT WORK.#it’s BROKEN.#and i realize he thought i was just waiting to be at the first pump and holding up the line but i don’t fucking care#so then he goes. oh. and he gets out and i said you can try it but it says it’s broken.#monotone bc i’m not trying to be nice#and he’s like oh ok. then i take back everything i said about you in the car LOL#and i said. ok.#and he said nah i wasnt saying anything about you#and i said nothing#then he’s a fuck face so he’s all embarrassed and acting like we’re buddies now#so he’s like huuuh. usually there’s an attendant walking around.. and i say i havent seen anyone. not looking at him#and he goes huuuh usually they put a sign or something out that it’s broken and i said nothing so like#the slimy piece of shit he is he silently gets back in his car and waits and then i leave and i’m like#in this circumstance 100% normally my heart would have been pounding out my chest bc i’m afraid of confrontation and who isnt afraid of#men yelling at them but this time i felt nothing except anger bc why the fuck are you trying to start something with me in the fucking gas#station go to another fucking line if you’re in that big of a rush and also learn how to fucking read when it says pump out of order#before you try to fucking rear end me which go for it btw bc i have dash cams and anyway#i’m so fucking sick of living here and i’ll never get out#but. i’m proud of myself for not being afraid or scared and just dealing with that piece of shit straightforward
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Also, a story about tonight:
-I brought an anime bag for like 4€
-I was crossing the street towards the pizza restaurant when the waitress of a different restaurant told me she really liked said bag. I thanked her, and later on informed her during another trip that it was in a shop really close to there and it was for p cheap (she saw me when i was crossing the street again and asked if she could photograph the bag). She said she would probably buy it.
- I decided that i would surprise her by buying another bag for her
-The store was closed. Cue a short depression arc as i walk back to the pizza restaurant, heartbroken
-I was conflicted on what to do for a few minutes but in the end i decided to give her my bag and just get my own another time. I'm glad i did that bc I would have just regretted it forever if i passed on that.
#i was scared she would feel awkward abt keeping it at work#but all the other workers seemed really happy for her#she was really touched and almost cried and i am just really really happy i decided to do that today!!#i dont even feel guilty bc the money for the bag are from my birthday money so its not something i bothered my family with#my family was proud of me for doing that and theyre really supportive but i still would have felt bad if it was THEIR money i was spending#on other people yk
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Maybe I’m delusional or maybe my freshman and sophomore year history teacher is the only person who has ever understood me
#thinking about how I saw in the back corner of her classroom freshman year bc I was shy and she would go out of her way to stand in that#corner and talk to me and ask me about the books I was reading#how she would leave thoughtful notes on my work sometimes even complimenting me about it in person#and during class presentations I would freeze up and panic and choke on my words#and then she’d go it’s okay take you’re time you’re doing great#and then tell me afterwards that she liked my presentation#sophomore year I was confident enough in her class to sit in the very front row#and she would look at me while lecturing and make jokes specifically towards me#and before the ap exam I was standing around after school hours#and she asked me if I had a ride home and offered to wait with me#and she asked how I was feeling about the exam and I was feeling really nervous and not confident at all#and she fully talked me down and convinced me that I could do it and said she believed in me#on the last day I had her class she said quote:#it’s been wonderful watching you blossom the two years I’ve had you I think you’ve really found who you are and you’re owning it and im so#proud of you#and she hugged me#I miss her so much#school fucking sucks without her her class was the highlight of my day#literally just seeing her is the highlight of my day now#she waved to me in the hallway today and I haven’t stopped thinking about it#im gonna cry. I miss her so bad
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I knew this year would come with changes, but now that I have the time and space to reflect, I can be thankful for all the struggles and the ways they've been shaping me. I don't feel like a little girl anymore. I'm still letting my inner child come out to play, but the adversities I've faced this year have shown me how strong of a woman I am becoming. I always though I would never be a fighter. My dumbass didn't realize I've been fighting the whole time. Fighting for survival. For opportunity. For peace. For freedom. For love. Hope. Community. Understanding. These things are worth fighting for.
I never expected to end up bartending in my hometown. I moved back here to get out of the city, away from the noise and to find peace in solitude. I was originally hired to cook pizzas, but was soon put in the bar because I handled a situation at work and stood up to a dangerous man who most locals have grown to fear. I have seen too much to be afraid of your classic small-town bad guy villain. I will fight when it is necessary and the right thing to do, and I will not be afraid.
I was terrified of working the bar. The noise, the crowds, the creeps, the same 3 horrendous conversations over and over. But now that I have more experiences under my belt, I'm seeing how much getting out of my comfort zone is benefiting me. At music gigs I often struggled engaging my audience between songs, but now I feel more confident and comfortable with eyes on me. I hold my head higher. I'm a master of banter, diffusing tense situations, and reading what people need and filling that need. Sometimes it's a drink, sometimes it's a song, sometimes it's a hug, sometimes it's a hand to hold and an ear to listen. I know how to connect and communicate better than ever before. For the first time in a long time, people notice my heart, and being perceived isn't all that scary anymore.
The locals respect me. They've seen me in action and they've shown up to support me and make me feel safe when some would seek to cause me harm. I tell them it isn't necessary, but I'm thankful to have friends in my corner. I can handle much more than I used to give myself credit for, but having a support system means that I don't have to. They don't see me as the scared little girl I often still feel like. They see me as a capable badass woman. Because that's what I am.
#idk this is a dumb long rambling i should probably delete#but me a year ago would be amazed at where/who i am today#and im just so proud of her#theres still battles to be fought but i know i have what it takes to come out on top#blissfulseptember#me#selfie#dont fuck with hannah shes not afraid to cut you off or 86 your ass#be nice or get wrecked
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You have digital bookmarks of fanfiction? That's cute. Now print them out. Bind them. Make it a physical library, coward.
#yapping#this is the energy the 200k word fics deserve#fanfiction#bookbinding#i wonder if my old art teacher would be proud of me if she found out i still use what she taught me#i use more today from art class in high school than i do from math 😅
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a 10 panel comic about control
cont. off this
#homestuck#heliad#trollsona#fantroll#fantrolls#ocs#admin draws#not fanart#self indulgently dumping out all the lore ive had simmering in my head for 5+ years#this is only a shard of it and well. look how it turned out#gee im sure she is fine and well adjusted after all this. no unhealthy notions about relationships at all#bonus post because i keep wonderign when ill finaly post this. its today#also hi i see the askss . i m just not drawing rn these are all like a week ish old now#i WISH i could draw bruh but im back in my mr struggle era. this is just about the last thing i got outta me with any sort of steam#i was right in assuming labs would beat my ass i broke like 2 beakers today#as well as did other certified dumbass moments. but at least i didnt spill the alkaline. surprisingly.#proud of thsi one as you can probably tell. especially the title card lolllklkl
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Thinking about grief today and about people I'll never see again but how they're still such a big part of my life. I had a grandmother figure once, and my family used to go to hers for Sunday dinner. She was legendary for her Yorkshire puddings, among other things, and I miss talking to her over them.
I made a Sunday roast for my friends recently, we didn't know what we were doing really and it was a lot of fun. I made my first ever Yorkshire puddings. They weren't perfect, they didn't taste like hers, but they were good and we enjoyed them.
It felt like she was with me when we ate them.
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Being critical of art is all fun and games until you are the art that is being critiqued :(
#God I was feeling so good today but duuuude I’m so scared abt the opera from purely a technical standpoint#like I’m not even stressed about fucking anything up anymore it just hit me that like. I invited people to see this and it might be bad :(#due to variables outside of my control!!!! I hate not being able to fix things#I would be less stressed if my mother wasn’t seeing it but tragically I’m proud of what /i/ am achieving so I really want her to be there!!#but I know it’s going to be SUCH a fucking let down after the other shows she’s seen at my school like#the productions she saw were SO GOOD on a technical standpoint and both of the productions this year were so bad :((((#like even conveptually I don’t even know if I’m fully convinced and I’m in the show!!!#And idk. It’s hard when you don’t have an extended family (or like much of a family at all)#so the only people coming to your show are like. Broadway technicians#the closest thing I have to an uncle is a lighting designer and a stage manager my mother knows#very fun sometimes. Other times I want to throw myself onto a pyre#Why do the stakes have to be so high why can’t they just be happy to support me :)) I shall never be the center of her world. Ah well#But also we would not be as close as we are without our shared love of theater production so. Catch-22#And at the end of the day I’m more sad that I can’t be proud of the show#it’s not anyone’s fault it just is and I need to be okay with it#I worked really hard and it matters that I’m doing this#GOD SORRY!!!#vent#portal of rambling
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