#She seems like a sincerely grating person to be around in like. A very realistic 17 year old way

[panvani]

I do really appreciate how much they commit to making Nina genuinely kind of unpleasant

[mystarmyangel]

[FULL TRANS] 230808 YoonA – ‘King The Land’ Post Drama Interview

Q1: ‘King The Land’ ended amid hot interests. First of all, could you tell me how  you feel about it coming to an end? It was an acting project that I really put in my very best throughout the filming. That is why it feels even more special when it is wrapped up. As much as everyone worked hard, I would like to thank the viewers who loved and watched it with affection as if our hearts are connected. Also, I would like to take this opportunity to say “thank you, you worked hard” to the director, the writer, all the staff and all the actors who worked with me.

Q2: In particular, it was loved by viewers around the world and reached ‘Netflix Global Top 1’. How do you feel when you heard the news? First of all, I was very grateful when I heard the news. I was happy that many viewers around the world loved it, and I was able to realize it even more because many people around me congratulate me. While filming (Netflix) content, when asked about my bucket list, I shouted "'King the Land' Netflix Global No.1", and I was surprised and grateful that it really became a reality. When you go on Netflix, it felt good that our poster were always at no. 1 or the top few ranks on the main page.

Q3: This time, it is a romcom genre that is different from your previous drama ‘Big Mouth’ which was a noir genre, as an actress, you once again broadened the spectrum of challenge. While portraying Cheon Sarang, what are the parts that you paid the most attention to, both externally and internally? I always think about it whenever I start a new work, but this time, I wanted to show a different side of me from what I showed you before as I am challenging my first authentic romcom. On the outside, I would like to say that the transformation is that I cut bangs. I have never done a project with my bangs cut  before, so I had a lot of worries about whether or not to cut my bangs before filming, but this time, I cut my bangs because it seems to suit the loveliness of the character Cheon Sarang. From the result, I was also satisfied and I was proud that I got reactions from people me that it suits me. In terms of acting, as a hotelier, I put in a lot of thought and care in showing the professional side, romance and comedy parts in a well-balanced manner. I also reflected the details of what I learnt from actual hoteliers, the basic attitude and the serving posture, and I practiced smiling a lot just like Cheon Sarang did in the drama. I also paid attention to convey lines and actions that reveal a sense of duty and responsibility in more details. In addition to the romance and comedy parts, emphasizing teamwork and tiki-taka with the other actors, focusing on emotional delivery and facial expressions, paying attention to the tone and diction so that they can be seen as more natural and realistic reactions.

Q4: In particular, Cheon Sarang was a character with independence and individuality who went through the lobby desk with only her skills and went up to VVIP Lounge ‘King the Land’, the dream of all hoteliers. In the last episode, she left King Hotel and pursued her own dream. Is there a message that you wanted to tell through the growth of Cheon Sarang? Although romance was the main content of our drama, but I also paid a lot of attention to the way ‘Cheon Sarang’ was growing as a hotelier, seeking true laughter, and I also thought that the transformation through ‘love’ and ‘saving’ each other was also a stem of our drama. Cheon Sarang was a character who sincerely thought about the hotelier's life, and she was also a character who knew how to love herself. Because she knows how to love herself like that, she was able to be a person who can hold on to her loved ones without missing them and balance between both work and love. In life, there are times when you need courage and comfort, but I hope that the choice of ‘Cheon Sarang’ building her own hotel and finding her new path, diving straight to the emotion of love, and growing up in search of true laughter can be a source of courage and comfort to the viewers.

Q5: There were a lot of famous scenes produced from ‘King The Land’ that received well responses. What are the scenes or lines that are the most memorable for you? There are many of them. First of all, the Thailand fountain scene in episode 10. I think many people like this scene and atmosphere as it is a scene beautifully expressed like that of a fairy tale or a movie. I was satisfied because I think it was captured well and also because it is a scene where we coordinated on the outfits. And the best part of tiki-taka was the drinking scene on Gapado Island in episode 3. It was a scene where Gu Won and Sarang, who growled whenever they met in the beginning, brought up a little bit about each other for the 1st time, and it is an indispensable scene because Won opens his heart to Sarang who treats him sincerely without pretense. (Sarang starts to open her heart for him in episode 5 where he took care of her and celebrate her birthday. From then on, her heart starts to open up to Won little by little). During the actual filming, there were a lot of difficulties because of the strong wind, so I think that makes it more memorable.

Also, for the emotional parts, the scene where Sarang expresses her gratitude to Won for the first time during the helicopter press conference in episode 7, when Won confessed his love for Sarang in her grandmother's room, and in episode 16, the scene where Won tried to propose but failed to do so and instead, sincerely cheered and supported Sarang's dream, and also the scene where grandma cheered for her dream & handed her bankbooks was also memorable as I was genuinely emotional right from the rehearsal onwards.

In addition, the scene of introducing Happy Hour in 3 languages in episode 1, which can show a professional side, was also good as it was one of the scenes that showed Sarang's ability to go up to 'King the Land' from the start. Also, many people told me that they were thrilled with the tablecloth scene in episode 7, where Sarang informed Gu Won on the work. I thought it was a scene where my heart as a hotelier was conveyed well. I also like it because I think it is one of the moments of 'Sarang' that led to the growth and change of 'Gu Won'

I tried to pick only a few scenes from the 16 episodes, but there are too many (Laughs).

(t/l note: thread in twitter for this portion with videos/photos: https://twitter.com/mystarmyangel/status/1688729110733045760)

Q6: ‘King The Land’ was loved by many viewers. What is the most memorable reaction or comment? Or have you ever felt the popularity of the drama? I remembered a lot of the reactions from people who put the ‘King’ word in phrases such as ‘I’m so King into it’, ‘So King precious’. These were the sincere reactions from the viewers who knew the charms of ‘King The Land’ and were enamoured with it. I also felt the popularity of the drama as the people around me called me ‘Cheon Sarang’ rather than my first name, and greeted me with ‘Hermes^^’.

Q7: The chemistry with actor Lee Junho, who plays the role of Gu Won, was also a hot topic. How was the acting chemistry between you two? In a romcom, I thought chemistry between the two was very important, but we agreed well on the highlight points and I received a lot of help from him. That's why we were able to communicate and express comfortably while filming. While rehearsing on the set, we made ad-libs according to the situation & location, or exchanged ad-libs on the spot while filming, and I think all these small details added to the fun of watching it, so I also had expectations of watching the actual broadcast.

Q8: In addition, the chemistry of six siblings with Go Won Hee as Oh Pyeonghwa, Kim Ga Eun as Kang Da Eul, Ahn Seha as Noh Sang Sik, and Kim Jae Won as Lee Rowoon, as well as the chemistry with Kim Young Ok as grandmother, were loved a lot. How is it like filming with these actors? When all six of us got together, we had so much fun filming that the energy changed, all these scenes were so precious to the extent that I felt it was such a pity that we couldn't do more scenes together. It was not easy because it was rare to shoot the entire episode 10 all at outdoor filming locations, but since we are of similar age, the atmosphere seems to have formed more naturally. And we were able to talk a lot about the scenes even during the break and fill it up with our own tiki-taka.

In particular, among the six siblings, the three musketeers were very important to Sarang, and I am grateful that being with actress Won Hee & Ga Eun made it fun both during and outside of filming, hence I was able to spend our time together even more comfortably.

And more than anything, I was really happy and grateful to be able to work Kim Young Ok seonsaengnim, who is the grandmother and the only family’s member for Sarang. Thanks to seonsaengnim's energy & guidance, I learned a lot and was able to film happily.

Q9: What does 'King the Land' means to you and what kind of drama do you want to leave for the viewers? For me, ‘King The Land’ was a work that brought me to the next level of growth, where I was able to learn and experience the joy of making 'together' while sharing worries with the director, actors, and staff on set. I hope the viewers will remember it as a drama that can make people laugh happily with their hearts fluttered, and a drama that is easy and comfortable to watch while feeling the warmth from it.

Q10: Lastly, do you have any words you wish to say to the viewers who loved ‘King The Land’? ‘King The Land’ finished its run with a full happy ending. Just like the characters in 'King the Land'  who found true happiness through solid love, who grow up amidst sincerity, I will also root for the viewers of ‘King The Land’ to sincerely love yourselves and find your true happiness.

I am thankful towards all the people who loved and supported ‘King The Land’ and Cheon Sarang, this gives me a lot of strength, and I want to say thank you. Thank you so much foo loving ‘King The Land’ and Cheon Sarang all this time. And I would be back with the movie ‘2 O’Clock Date’ by director Lee Sang Geun, whom I have worked with in ‘EXIT’, so please show a lot of interest in it as well.

Source: Sports Chosun Trans: mystarmyangel

[nyehilismwriting]

Ok so I've been thinking about this a lot these past few days and I have something to say if that's alright so bear with me pls. Also this is not me hating on you or anything, I just want to tell you how I see it and hear your thoughts about it if it's ok.

So I was trying to see it from your perspective but no matter what, it just doesn't really make sense to me. I get that we'll be able to explore (?) Lea's sexuality more in Ch 3 but I think we already have a lot to comment on so far. I also get that some people "treat everyone the same" like you said and it's fine ofc but there's a difference, I think. The first time I played PH (as female) I was surprised bc I thought she actually acts different around fem/nb MCs since she's a lesbian = she can feel attracted to these MCs. But then I played as male and nothing really changed and I genuinely thought it was a bug bc she's supposed to be a lesbian, why is she flirting with someone she feels absolutely zero attraction to whatsoever? And then you said one doesn't need to feel attracted to someone to flirt with them and I must admit it doesn't really make sense to me. I don't know why I would flirt with someone I'm not interested in... unless it's just to fuck with them. And that's a shitty move and I may be talking from personal experience but I just think it's unfair to another person who might think you're into them, when you're not. And that's also the problem I have with your reasoning that Lea's "just like that" bc it feels like making excuses. It's unfair to say she's "just like that" when she's basically getting someone's hopes up because she can. There is no difference in how she treats fem/nb MCs and male MCs and I think it's a problem. Even the fact that male MCs can flirt with her and she doesn't just say "sorry, I'm just not into guys". At the end of the day we can't excuse everything with "I'm just like that" or "this is who I am". It's about basic respect for the other person and their feelings. And yeah, I know they barely know each other but she's still practically leading male MCs on. All of this is really misleading, is what I'm trying to say. And I don't think her behavior can be excused when she's flirting with male MCs so aggressively (calling them different pet names, constant touching etc) just to later tell them "whoops, sorry! I'm not into guys".

And I know this whole ask may come off as if I'm hating on you or your game but again, that's not the case. I absolutely love your game and I fell in love with Lea the moment you've introduced her but just her behavior towards male MCs makes me feel uncomfortable and feels like she doesn't really care about other peoples feelings as long as she can have her fun. Anyway I still look forward to future updates etc and you obviously don't have to answer this but I'd be grateful for your thoughts regardless.

it really seems to me like you've made your mind up about this - which, fine, I'm sorry you're uncomfortable but I'm not changing the character so you can be happy.

leanna's a lesbian. she will always be a lesbian, and she is not interested in male operatives - this will be put very clearly in chapter three. bear in mind that you have had, at the point chapter two ends, approximately an hour of interaction with her - certainly not enough time to expect her to go into detail on the nuances of her sexuality, or even enough time for her to decide whether your flirting is a sincere expression of attraction or just fun banter. which is very possible, and given her own personality, what she's likely to assume. I gave male operatives the flirt option in the first place because you wouldn't realistically know she's gay straight away; she doesn't tell you immediately because you (or at least, she) wouldn't respond to a jokey line about touching by coming out.

if this isn't enough to convince you, that's on you; and while I am a little concerned that you seem to think friendliness and pet names consistutes "aggressive flirting" (cause nothing bad has ever come of people misinterpreting/wilfully misunderstanding lesbians) again, that's on you. she treats ki-ha the same way, she treats skylar the same way. it doesn't mean she wants to sleep with them - or, for that matter, a female/nonbinary operative. at no point in the 15 minutes she's known your mc does she do more than call you a few pet names and try to offer (platonic) physical comfort, things she does and would do for friends and family members.

bearing in mind mc climbed aboard her ship half-dead and obviously traumatised, brandishing weapons, is it really a surprise she's trying to be gentle with them? there is a crisis on - she's not modulating her behaviour to coddle a strange man's feelings.

I call my friends pet names. I touch people on the arm - sometimes, scandalously, I hug people I have no intention of or interest in sleeping with. "leading someone on" is not a concern when she has given no indication that she's interested, and will say so in no uncertain terms in chapter three.

I have to be honest, this message is wildly unpleasant to read, and maybe I'm reading too much into it but interpreting a black lesbian as aggressively sexual and accusing her of leading a male character on is....really not it, chief. especially when it's a character you've just met, with much bigger things on her mind than romance, and little to no reason to trust that you're safe. she is not being deliberately deceptive or misleading; she has given the operative no reason to think she is attracted to him. if he feels owed something because she called him pretty, that's on him.

[gasp-iwrotesomething]

Hey, sorry. I accidentally exited out of the request and it sent before I wanted it to, but can you please do a Dad!Neil Dresner? Where finds out his teenage daughter has a boyfriend? I imagine him to be very protective. Please and thank you. And I love your work.

Sure thing! And thank you for the compliment, I sincerely appreciate it; thank you for your request and I hope you enjoy it, @storiesformc!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Neil wished he had more time to prepare. 

Time to come to terms, to grieve, to miss the little girl Marina was before she got a... boyfriend. The thought was so surreal. Even the silent monologue in his head pronounced it differently. How could Marina, the little girl who wouldn’t go to bed until you recited her favorite bedtime story up until she was 12, have a boy now? The perception of her as a toddler up to her 13th birthday is so ingrained in his head that now each time he sees her cuddled up with that boy... it’s all he can picture. That prompted Neil to be instantly protective--what kind of father wouldn’t for his baby? His wife, however, was ecstatic. She merely squealed and hugged Marina tight enough to crush her, spouting all of this motherly nonsense about growing up and falling in love. Neil was disappointed in her, frankly. MC was his defense always, even when he was slightly off his rocker. But what did he expect? The grumpy doctor fell head over heels for a rebel barely in her 20′s--who ever said gals like her would understand the feeling Neil felt when he pictured Marina and her boyfriend? 

That’s right, she wouldn’t know a lick of it.

Neil grumbles as he climbs into bed the following night, Marina’s announcement a boulder in his conscience. No matter which way he pushed or which way he pulled, Neil couldn’t rid himself of that burden of a thought. Marina’s got a boyfriend, MC recites brightly in his memory, her rosy cheeks tugged into a boundless smile, you believe it, Neil? Our baby’s growing up! He buries his scowling face into the pillows while her words play over and over, a broken record in his damned head. Life was simpler when he was just raising a babbling toddler who fell over her own two feet; simpler, but not easier. He could still remember the sleepless nights, the stressful mornings, the constant chatter… Beside him, MC joins him in bed and slips under the covers with him, her once-scarlet hair now deduced to loose brunette curls down to her shoulders. He could sense her eyes on him even with the pillow’s barrier and groans into its soft depths; the judgment was already there. “Neil, what’re you doing?” She sounds stern and Neil scoffs quietly. If only silence could be the answer to every problem you’ve got... 

“Nothing,” he mumbles.

MC squints down at him, his muffled words barely reaching. “Take that pillow off your face, I can’t hear you.”

Reluctantly, Neil shifts the pillow aside, the comforting fluff gone and replaced with the dreary pigments of their ceiling--that dull grey was starting to wear away his eyes more than the sun has. He was tired of the color. Maybe a lighter and more vibrant shade would do. “Honey, that frown isn’t saying anything I need to know,” she playfully nudges his arm, a grin spread on her lips, “or am I supposed to take a hint?” He sighs, head turning to his wife. She was a treasure in this bleak room, her effortless charm swamping him totally. Nowadays it was difficult to keep frowning, thanks to MC. Neil didn’t know what to think about that; be grateful or be grouchy. Either or, Neil was glad she was there to talk to--being a single father sounded like hell. “No, I’ll talk about it, just finding the words to not fight with you.”

MC quirks an eyebrow. “A fight? What would I fight with you about?”

“Marina and her new boyfriend,” Neil relents, his eyebrows slowly drawing together as his expression deepens, “I don’t think she should be messing around with no boys at her age.”

The silence that fills the air after he speaks indicates Neil was right; this would brew a disagreement between them.

MC shakes her head. “Marina’s 16, Neil, just 2 years shy of being a woman. It’s about time you give her some freedom, the girl’s got some exploring to do.” She slides under the covers while pinning Neil with a stern stare, the diamonds of her eyes glittering in the dim moonlight. But Neil didn’t pay no mind. Sure, Marina was on her way to be a woman but that road was 2 years long, which left a window open of her still being a kid--of her still being Neil’s little girl. “Maybe, but you heard her, they’ve only known each other for a week. A week! How are you not on your toes when you hear that, MC?” He gives her an incredulous glance. How was he supposed to take that expression? Over time, wrinkles and creases formed on MC’s pale face, so now her frowns always seem deeper and her smiles more animated. He could faintly see the disapproval on her lips, in her eyes, all focused intently on him. He imagined that he appeared the same way to MC. “A week is a good enough time to fall in love; say, we fell in love within the span of a couple months and look where we are now. Who are you to judge when love is love?” She hisses gently, the soothing hiccup of her accent coiling around her sassy tone. Apparently MC was caught up on the part where Marina cried “love!”, but who knows if she’s just blowing their passion for each other out of proportion? Still, even after MC’s rebuke, Neil’s opinion is unchanging. “Our little origin story isn’t comparable to this, MC. Love can form when it has enough time to grow or else it’ll crash and burn. We worked out because we let our love prosper and thrive before diving into each other’s gullets,” he remarks, gruff and headstrong, about as willing to back down as MC was. 

“Defining what you think is ‘true love’ isn’t going to help you win this. Everything’s different for everyone.”

“No, maybe not, but if it keeps Marina safe then I’ll be cracking open my damn dictionary.”

MC scoffs, pinching him quickly, “who said you couldn’t watch her back? You’re her daddy, Neil, you can look out for her while letting her live a little!”

No one speaks after her brief exclamation, the tension drawn tighter by the evident frustration the both of them faced. They never argued like this. Usually they’d disagree, talk, and smooth over the wrinkles, but now… Now they were determined to rough up their resolve before they even tried to be civil. After a couple seconds more of deep, stabilizing breaths, MC relents with a quiet sigh and cuddles up to Neil, her features now softened into a concerned furrow of her brows. She braces her hand on Neil’s chest, her fingers warm and tender to his flesh. “Listen, honey, I know how you feel--believe me, I do--but you’ve got to be more realistic. Whether you accept it or not, Marina’s getting older and closer to being on her own, she’s got to learn to think for herself. She’s a smart cookie. She’ll make for a fine independent woman, thanks to you. But now, I think you should give her a shot; see how this ship rocks with her new fella, you know?” MC pats his chest, a small assuring smile on her face. Neil mulls over her words. Maybe she was right in a way; maybe… maybe he was being a little too overbearing at times with Marina. But you couldn’t hold that against him, he loved his daughter. She was his world from the first breath down to these very seconds. Nothing’s changed except that she’s older, maturing, expanding into new walks of life that wouldn’t have suited her then. Marina was still his bundle of joy and he was still her caring, grouchy, sarcastic dad. 

Even if it meant handing her away to some boy, Neil had to be supportive and at least mindful of her wishes, her desires.

Sighing, Neil winds an arm around his wife’s shoulders and brings her closer to him, close enough to smell the serene aroma of her berry-scented shampoo. She relaxes into him, resting her cheek against his shoulder. “...I’ll think about it, MC,” he could feel her cheek move as she smiles softly against him, “but it’s going to take some time for me to… adjust to this whole ‘growing up’ thing.” It was true. Daily, Neil would see Marina at the dining room table and wonder just when in that 16 year gap she grew taller, prettier. Marina wasn’t very tall but she reached Neil’s collarbone standing beside him. She was a brunette--go figure--with most of her prize-winning features taken directly from her father, Neil. Maybe that was why he was so protective and nurturing to her, they were so alike side from her mother’s energetic personality; well, that and she’s their only child. 

He always had a feeling that she’d grow up to be beautiful, and seeing that unfold now, Neil was right in every facet imaginable.

“Thank you,” MC murmurs under the blanket of the shimmering moonlight, “I can tell this isn’t easy for you but I’m proud of you for trying.” He rubs her arm soothingly, allowing the tension to dissipate and fall into the background as he kisses her head. “I’m not exactly volunteering to do this but… I appreciate the sentiment, Mrs. Dresner.”

That claps the silence between them right where it stands, the both of them dissolving into a brief fit of laughter. Even if it would probably take the soul right out of him, Neil was willing to try--for his daughter and his wife.

He just hoped no no-good meathead would have to ruin this bliss for any of them, or else the doctor might have to shed his nurturing duty for a little bit.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thank you again and I’m sorry for the wait!

If you want to request something, here’s the Prompt List, here are the Guidelines, here’s Who I Write For, and here is where you can Request me.

[hopelikethemoon]

Freedom (Javier x Reader) {MTMF}

Title: Freedom  Rating: PG-13 Length: 3000 Warnings: None Notes: You can find everything about Maybe Today, Maybe Forever here. This is a Javier-less chapter, which is why I noted that this would be a very different type of update. This chapter is set in September of 1977, when Reader is 16. If you don’t know her backstory you can find info at the link above. If you want to know who I see as Mitch and Darla click on their names.  Summary: Reader finally escapes her situation.

@grapemama @seawhisperer @huliabitch @pedropascalito @rogrsnbarnes@thewallpapergoesorido @twomoonstwosuns @gooddaykate @livasaurasrex @ham4arrow@plexflexico @readsalot73 @hdlynn @lokiaddicted @randomness501 @fioccodineveautunnale  @roxypeanut @snivellusim @lukesrighthand @historynerd04 @mrsparknuts@synystersilenceinblacknwhite @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead @exrebelshocktrooper@awesomefandomsunited @ah-callie @swhiskeys @lady-tano @beskar-droids @space-floozy @cable-kenobi @cool-ultra-nerd @himbopoes @findhimfives @pedrosdoll @frietiemeloen@arrowswithwifi @random066 @uncomicalhumour @heather-lynn @domino-oh-damn​ @cyarikaaa @ahopelessromanticwritersworld​ @im-still-a-pieceofgarbage @ksgeekgirl  @yabby-girl​ @xqueenofthecraziesx @punkass-potato​ @coredrive​ @pascalesque@theduchessofkirkcaldy @queenquazar @sabinemorans @buckstaposition @holkaskrosnou@yespolkadotkitty @fleetwoodmactshirt @seeking-a-great–perhaps @kochamcie @jaime1110​

“You’ll have your own room,” Mitch explained, glancing at you out of the corner of his eyes. “That’ll be nice, right?”

You nodded your head slowly, rubbing at your forehead as you watched the outskirts of the city bleed into the towering office buildings and quaint streets lined with brownstones and historic homes. You had never been out of your hometown and Philadelphia seemed like a daunting change of pace. 

Your life up until this point had been confined to a perimeter that contained your house and school. 

“And you’ll never have to live through another one of those floods.” Mitch rambled — he’d rambled a lot since he had picked you up nearly four hours ago. “That had to be scary.”

You shrugged, picking at the hem of your tee. “Not the worst thing to happen to me.” You admitted, glancing out the window again. “My mom acted like the world was going to end because she couldn’t get out of the house. Like goddamn mom, people are dead.”

Mitch cleared his throat, “I’m not looking to parent you, but you know Darla and I have a Tate—“

“Shit.” You laughed quietly, covering your mouth. “I’ll try to curb the cussing.” 

“Thanks.” He nodded his head. “And you know Darla and I are here for you, if you ever need anything.”

“I’m not looking to be a burden, promise.” You told him, winding your finger through a lock of hair as you watched out the window. “You don’t even have to feed me.”

“I’m not going to let you go hungry.” Mitch gave you a look. “Come on now, kid.”

“I can cook!” You scrunched up your nose. “I just don’t want you or Darla to feel like I’m taking advantage of your hospitality.” The last thing you wanted was to become your mother. Leeching off other people. 

“You’re my sister.”

“We share a father,” You pointed out. “Be glad you don’t share my mother.”

“Dad told me plenty of stories.” Mitch grimaced, “I don’t know how you made it out of there in one piece, kid.”

“I might have nine toes. I haven’t counted lately.” You snorted, “Think there’s a black market in toes for coke?”

“Jesus Christ.” He grimaced, before quickly changing the subject. “That’s the school you’ll be going to.”

You peered out the window at the school, “Better than Richland.”

“It’s where Darla went. It’s a great preparatory school for girls.”

“An all-girls school?” You groaned, crossing your arms across your chest. 

“You're more likely to get a scholarship there.”

“Fine.” You couldn’t pass up an opportunity like that. You still had the two and a half years of school to finish before you could think about college — but a scholarship would help. “I don’t need any distractions anyways.”

Mitch gave you a curious look, “Kid, you’re allowed to be a teen, you know. Don’t hold back from living just because you’re staying with us.”

“It’s not that,” You chewed on the inside of your cheek. “I’ve never really been a kid or whatever. I don’t plan on regressing just because I don’t have to deal with the witch.”

“Dad always said you were wise beyond your years,” Mitch remarked, turning down Chestnut Street and parking the car in front of a gorgeous brick townhome. 

“You live here?”

“Darla’s folks gifted it to her when they moved out west,” Mitch explained to you as he put the car in park.

“Oh so, rich-rich.” You gave him an amused look. “Looking at you, pitching out of your league.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” Mitch rolled his eyes, climbing out of the car and shutting the car door behind him. 

You climbed out of the car, moving around to the trunk as he unlocked it. “I really do appreciate this, Mitch. I’ll do whatever you guys need me to do. Vacuuming, dishes, I’ll even babysit — I can’t promise I’m good.” 

“Kid, you’re family not the new nanny.”

“New?”

“We’re in-between currently.”

“Jesus.” You whistled. “Well, I promise not to bring the property value down. It’ll be like I’m not even there. Promise.”

Mitch shook his head, “I look forward to you warming up to us. This can be your home, kid. You don’t have to act like a visitor.”

You shrugged your shoulders as you slung your duffel bag over your shoulder. “I tried the ‘home’ thing, but dad’s dead... so.” 

“I’m just saying, you can put down roots.” Mitch pulled the cardboard box out of the trunk, before he started up the stairs to the townhouse. Darla must’ve been waiting just behind the door, because she swung it open the second your feet hit the stop.

“Look at you!” Darla grinned broadly at you, “You’ve shot up like a weed since the wedding.”

“We saw each other at the funeral,” You reminded her with an awkward laugh, tucking your hair behind your ear as you warily looked around their house. “But thanks.”

Mitch was about thirteen years older than you. You had seen him only a handful of times over the course of your life. His mother, Patrice, had always been kind to you — your father and Patrice were the type of divorced parents you’d wished your own mother had been. They were still friends, up until his death. 

Before the funeral, the last time you had seen Mitch was at his wedding. He’d wanted you to actually be part of the wedding, but someone had gone postal at the thought of someone else’s family liking you. You were also only ten — what could you do about anything?

“Tate, sweetheart, this is your aunt.” Darla crouched down beside the little boy. “Say hello.”

“Hello!”

“Hi, Tate.” You smiled at him. “And how old are you?”

“Almost six.” He beamed, “Do you like cars?”

You shrugged, “They get you from point a to point b.”

“He’s been collecting Hot Wheels.” Mitch explained to you, “I’m sure he’ll show you his collection.”

Tate nodded excitedly. “Do you wanna see them now?”

“Oh—“

Mitch ruffled Tate’s hair, “Actually buddy, I’m sure your aunt would love to see them, but we need to get her unpacked. Alright?”

You glanced at Mitch before looking back to Tate, “You can show me after dinner.”

“Why don’t you go play out back?” Darla suggested, sending Tate down the hallway. “He’s been so excited about having someone to play with.”

“I see.” You nodded, your eyes flickering around the entryway, back towards the living room area. It was different to see a house that was put together. They had nice pieces of furniture and none of them were broken or unusually stained. 

Mitch cleared his throat, “If you want to, of course. Six-year-old boys can be quite rambunctious.”

You offered a strained smile, “I’m happy to help, like I said.” 

“Do you need help with anything from the car?” Darla questioned, clasping her hands together. “That can’t be all you broug—“

Mitch made a gesture to silence her, which you caught out of the corner of your eyes and you couldn’t help but laugh. 

“This is all I have,” You gestured between your duffel bag and the box he held. “I promised I wouldn’t take up too much room.”

“Speaking of your room,” Darla grinned at you. “I hope you don’t hate purple. I went a little overboard once Mitch brought up you moving in.”

She led you up a flight of stairs lined with family pictures, which led to a hallway of bedrooms. 

“Ours is at the end of the hall, beside Tate’s. You’re over here.” Mitch explained, pushing open the doorway that led to a bedroom that was at least double what your room had been before.

“Wow.” You breathed out as you stepped inside, holding your duffel bag close to you as you looked around. “Guys, I told you I didn’t need much, this feels…”

“Homey?” Darla questioned. “That’s what I was going for.”

You put on a smile as you nodded your head. You knew you had to be grateful. Mitch didn’t have to give you a place to live. Sure, your dad had wanted it, but that didn’t mean he had to. 

You were emancipated from your mother now, you could go anywhere — live…. anywhere. Realistically, you had three options; your mother’s, Mitch’s, or the street. 

“Homey… is a great word.” You threw your duffle bag down on the foot of the bed, watching as Mitch sat the cardboard box with your few personal items down on the floor. 

“You’ll be starting at Girls’ High next week.” Darla explained. “We can go shopping for your uniform this weekend. That’ll give you a few days to settle into your new life here.”

“Thank you,” You told her with a slightly more sincere smile. “Thank you both.”

Mitch scratched at the back of his neck, “Yeah, well, it’s what dad would’ve wanted.”

“I miss him.”

“Me too.” He nodded. “Alright, well we will give you a chance to settle in. Dinner is usually around six.”

Darla smiled at you, “No pressure. You can join us or I can bring a plate up. I know things have been a bit chaotic for you.”

You tucked your hair behind your ears and nodded, “You don’t have to make dinner for me. I would be happy with a cheese sandwich.”

She shook her head, “I won’t hear of that. I’ll bring it up to you. How’s that sound?”

“Good.” You kicked off your shoes and sank down on the side of your bed. It was a real bed. Matching sheets, a mattress topper, and nice metal headboard. 

It looked new, which really was a novelty. 

You waited until Mitch and Darla could be heard walking down the steps, before you sank back on the bed and finally relaxed. 

You didn’t know how long it would take you to really be relaxed. Being on edge had kept you alive this long. But it was a feat not to give into the urge to grab the chair that sat at the vanity and wedge it under the doorknob. 

You covered your face with your hands, letting out a heavy sigh as you let the reality of your new life settle in. 

Next week would mark a new beginning. A new school, a new chance to be someone. You weren’t beholden to anyone but yourself now. If you failed, it was your own fault. You weren’t trapped under the shadow of your mother. 

Though, the thought of having to wear a uniform until you graduated sounded like bullshit. 

You pushed yourself back upright, looking around the room for the folder you’d spotted sitting on the vanity. You climbed off the bed to retrieve the fold. It was white and yellow, with the school seal set in the center. Darla had clearly gone to great lengths filling everything out for you — the forms were mostly filled in, save for your name and signature where it was necessary. 

Apparently, you had just missed the father-daughter dance. 

You closed the folder and sat it back on the vanity, before you retreated back to the bed to collect the cardboard box. You didn’t have much to unpack. 

A framed picture of you and your father that had spent the better part of its existence hidden from your mother’s sight; the trophy you won freshman year for the science fair; three of your favorite books; and bedside alarm clock. 

Aside from that, you had only taken the clothes you wore most often, not even bothering to worry about other seasons. You had enough money to buy new clothes in the winter. 

And with uniforms for school — you didn’t have to worry about other classmates judging you for repeating outfits. 

School was just a means to an end. Get good grades, get a scholarship, and do something worthwhile. Something that would actually help someone. 

Your mother had screamed at you that you were worthless — that you would never amount to anything because you were ungrateful — more times than you cared to recall. You had to prove her wrong. One day, she’d see that her daughter had amounted to something. Not because of her, but in spite of her. 

 ——

 “How did you sleep last night?” Darla questioned as you joined her in the kitchen, sitting down at the kitchen table across from Tate. 

“The bed was super comfortable,” You offered, preferring not to tell her that you hadn’t slept at all. Though there were bags under your eyes that told a different story.

You had slept for an hour — maybe two. You couldn’t relax, despite how hard you had tried. You had gone to sleep on a comfortable bed, with clean sheets, and a full stomach, but sleep just didn’t come to you. 

The only reason you slept at all was because you had gotten up and put the chair in front of the door. The house was quiet — there were no addicts down the hall getting high, no yelling, no chaos, but your mind told you there could be. 

Darla sat a glass of juice down in front of you, “Do you drink coffee?”

“Yeah,” You nodded, taking a sip of the juice. “Cream and sugar if you don’t mind.”

“Sweetheart, I don’t mind at all. I know you think you’re a burden to us, but I’m happy to have you here. Really.”

“I don’t want to be a charity case.” You told her, taking another sip of your juice as Mitch walked down the stairs and joined all of you in the kitchen. 

“Well, you’re not one. So don’t worry.”

“Hey, kid.” Mitch gave your shoulder a pat as he walked past the table. “Didn’t know if you’d come down.”

You shrugged, “The smell of coffee was too strong of a temptation.” 

“Do you have plans for the day?” He questioned as he poured himself a cup of coffee. 

Tate rolled one of his model cars across the table to you and you turned it around and rolled it back. 

“I thought I might check out a book shop we passed yesterday. What does a normal Monday look like for you?”

“I’ve got work,” Mitch explained before gesturing to Darla. “She’s got her committees.”

“Committees?”

“I’m on the board of the Philadelphia Museum of Art,” Darla offered. “And the Daughters of the American Revolution.”

“Don’t forget the Trocadero,” Mitch supplied, pressing a kiss to Darla’s cheek, before he circled back around to the table. “She’s very connected to the art scene here in the city. If you have any interest in the arts, I’m sure she can find you a job or an internship.”

“I don’t know what I want to do,” You admitted, playing with the end of your braid as you stared down at the glass of juice in front of you. “I never thought I’d get out of Johnstown.”

“Hopefully you can figure that out,” Darla said as she handed you your cup of coffee. “I didn’t know what I wanted to do,” She told you, “But I found a passion for art in high school.”

“Does it pay well?”

“Oh,” Darla exchanged a look with Mitch. “Technically I’m a volunteer.”

“Ah.” You frowned. Given the house you were eating breakfast in and what Mitch had said last night — Darla had been born with a silver spoon in her mouth. “As nice as that sounds, I really need something somewhat lucrative.”

Mitch day down beside Tate, across from you, “You’ve got plenty of time to figure out what you want to be. Don’t grow up too fast.”

You smiled a little, “I’ll try not to.” You drummed your fingers against the side of your mug, “What do you do again, Mitch?”

“I’m a real estate broker.”

Your brows furrowed together, “I have no idea what that is.”

“I work for a real estate agency as a manager.” Mitch clarified, sipping at his coffee. “If you wanted to work in real estate, I could get you an internship.”

“I don’t know if I could sell houses,” You made a face. “I’m just going to focus on high school right now. Work on getting a scholarship.”

Tate rolled his car across the table again, “Do you like my car?”

You picked the car up and examined it, “I do. It’s very cool.” You rolled it back to him, glancing at Mitch. “I’m pretty self-sufficient. I'm sure I’ll figure out what my life’s calling is.”

“Philadelphia has so much going on. It’s very up-and-coming in areas.” Darla told you. “You could make a whole life for yourself here in the city.”

“Maybe.” You took a sip of coffee then. Now that you were free — there was a whole world of possibilities. You didn’t have to stay in Pennsylvania for the rest of your life. 

You could go anywhere, be anything, make a name for yourself. 

Mitch and his little family were great, but you didn’t feel any attachment to them. You didn’t feel any attachment to much of anything, frankly. Maybe you were broken. Maybe you’d been through so much shit with your mother, that you’d just shut down emotionally. 

You knew what love was; you even knew what home and family was supposed to feel like, but you weren’t sure you had it in you to feel those things. It was like falling asleep on your hand — you could feel touch, but it didn’t feel real. 

Maybe that’s what your mother felt. Maybe Rebecca was the way she was because there was a big black hole where her heart was supposed to be. 

But you weren’t going to let yourself become her. Maybe one day you could feel something. 

Wouldn’t that be something? 

[gaymer-hag-stan]

Wait? Confirmed lesbian? When did that happen?

I'm not against it, I always interpreted Survivor Lara as a lesbian myself, while Classic Lara was always asexual to me, so it would make sense, but the only thing I've heard of is a leaked script from one of the games, not the animation, but we don't even know if it's from the game currently in production or a scrapped project that went out the window when Square Enix sold them off, and even then, it does not explicitly say she's a lesbian, it's just the most logical assumption, but still an assumption.

So did they actually decide to stick with the lesbian plot point?

Also, yes, there have been terrible instances of both dev teams, Core and Crystal, as well as Eidos and Paramount exploiting Lara's sexuality, but I don't feel like it had irreparably damaged the brand or that it was as pronounced as people like to think, or that Survivor Lara changed much in that regard, for that matter, because you still get people all around the internet sexualising her and there were ample boob and butt shots in the Reboot games anyway. I am very happy and grateful for her more realistic body proportions, though I liked her better when she was taller, but, personality-wise, I wouldn't say she's necessarily an improvement over classic Lara, or that her being a lesbian would necessarily do anything in the regard of "de-sexualising" her. They did try to introduce a male romantic interest in The Last Revelation and then again in The Angel of Darkness but neither of these plans ever came to fruition and, other than the Angelina movies, she's never shown any romantic interest towards any other character in the Classic games. Her body was cartoonishly unrealistic and her cleavage became more pronounced over the years, but at no point during the games themselves, except three very specific cases, (1. Teenage Lara almost taking her top off in Chronicles, 2. Kurtis groping her in Angel of Darkness and 3. The bikini DLC in Underworld) she is made overly objectified. She's always the most capable and smart person in the room and she's always in control of any situation, and no one really acknowledges her sex appeal nor does she really ever use it as a means to her goals.

I don't want this to come off as rant-y or confrontational in any way, it's just that, as someone who grew up with Lara as a role model and can see the good and the bad aspects of every iteration of the character, I don't really like it when people try to make it seem like Classic Lara was nothing more than a blow-up sex doll or that, on the other side of the spectrum, Survivor Lara is a woke crybaby or whatever the fuck people like to say about either version of the character.

I think it's overall a good thing that they are reintroducing more classic elements both to the game formula as well as Lara herself and a nice middle ground between Classic and Modern Lara sounds great and I sincerely hope they don't botch it...

The way people are upset about Lara Croft being confirmed lesbian in the Netflix show adaptation must have missed the entire reboot games. The creator even came out and said that she was lesbian. She was initially supposed to end up with Sam in the first reboot game but they scrapped the big kiss scene at the end and just left it as a friendly hug. Y’all…the way she was fighting to get Sam back…they were definitely more than friends. Also, in Shadow of The Tomb Raider, when she was talking to the queen Unurato by the fire…yall didn’t pick up on that eye contact…or that flirting??? The tension between them was thick, Guys …please, come on now.

The goal is to also move away from her over-sexualized image. It’s the perfect direction for Lara

[halothenthehorns]

All in the Family

Chapter 21: The Burrow

It was a homey kitchen, that was the first immediate apparent thing. Even after they'd all landed it didn't seem to disturb the already hectic nature of the place any.

The stove was still full of the warm smells of a feast of a breakfast, to which the Marauders at once began helping themselves to. Dishes in the sink were scrubbing themselves to a polish, and someone had left a deck of self shuffling cards on the counter, just above a drawer filled with all sorts of Muggle things Frank wasn't sure of. He thought that may have been a battery peeking out, but wasn't positive.

There were over a dozen chairs scattered about the room, all of various types, a careworn cloak hung over one at the head of the table which was oblong, with a few burn marks imprinted in the wood, and some things carved into the legs, initials perhaps. Hanging proudly in the center of the wall behind this was something resembling a clock, but instead of two, it carried nine hands, and no numbers were present, instead such things as 'work,' 'school,' and, 'mortal peril' were around the face. Strangely, the hands weren't pointed at any of those, but all trailing aimlessly about the circle, the clockwork as lost in time as they were.

Fighting back a shiver so as not to think of that, he put his attention out the window, his eyes skipping right past a wilted feather duster, where a hedge hinted at a garden just out the backdoor, and what could be a chicken coop paces away from that, with gentle hills rolling on for miles beyond this.

Despite being stuffed to the brim in this tiny room, Frank was amazed how open it all felt. He couldn't help but compare it to his own kitchen at home, where his Mum had everything perfectly outlined for its place, four mirrored straight chairs around one symmetrical square table. Even the lake he could see from a very similar window was usually steal gray, the wide expanse looking more threatening with its deep waters.

He looked down when someone gently took his hand and was unsurprised to find Alice, a stack of marmalade and toast in her hands she'd braved from the depths of the Marauders hogging the food. He couldn't help but grin lovingly at her, bending down to give her a kiss on the temple before beginning to nibble on his breakfast as the older Black began. They had no idea why a Burrow would be mentioned, wasn't that were animals slept? At this rate though they truly wouldn't put anything past the ability of Potters kid getting into something.

The two tried to sit on the ledge in the early morning sunlight, but disturbed the feather duster, which came to life as an aged owl, ruffling his feathers at them and blinking slowly. Alice offered him a bit of toast, and he accepted this in his beak before hobbling to a perch. Frank reached over and pet it for a few moments in thoughtful silence.

Between ripping up bacon and shoving that into his mouth, Sirius eagerly kept going with the now lively story of the Weasley's arriving, especially those twins! What brilliance they were, knowing how to pick muggle locks!

Of course Harry's escape couldn't be all fun, Vernon had to come and muck everything up, but honestly picturing the look on his face was almost worth all that had happened. Didn't stop any of them from hoping Harry never had to go back to that Muggle dwelling.

Lily couldn't help but think the same, just silently, to herself at the far end of the room. She was trying very hard to resist the sausages sizzling away in protest that this wasn't their house! They shouldn't just be helping themselves to anything they liked! Frank and Alice weren't helping, even Regulus was picking over some eggs.

She'd already tried to leave from the room to stop further temptation, but found all ways out of the room barred. Just behind her, she was sure that was a washing din with a room beyond that, and at the other end was a crooked staircase leading to more. A promising swinging door even could have led off to a living room, or she even would have preferred to go out into the garden. Nothing, all blocked like always.

So now she was forced to listen in protest of the Weasley's catching Harry up to speed while he in turn told them of why mail wasn't going around. The idea that it was Malfoy's house-elf was, realistic, but even she couldn't see Malfoy doing something so stupid as to try stopping Harry getting back to school by using his elf as a prank. Besides, she was sure of Dobby's sincereness, the warning he'd given.

"Awkward," Peter stage whispered when they reached Ron's home, the house they were presumably in, and Mrs. Weasley came out to at once give her kids a stern dressing down.

"Makes me real grateful to my parents," James agreed with a chuckle as he speared another fried egg and shoved it in his mouth whole. He still had his eyes on Evans the whole time, as usual, and was growing worried about her. He hadn't seen her eat anything since this started, and they'd been at it for hours by their own internal clock he was sure. So he grabbed a plate of fried potatoes and tomatoes and made his way over to her. At first she just narrowed her eyes and glared away from him, clearly more annoyed than anything he somehow knew her favorite breakfast.

"Here," he dug a galleon out of his pocket and left it purposefully on the table. "Will you please eat something now?" He offered her the fork and plate.

"I don't need your money, or pity," she snapped.

"I'm not offering you that," he agreed, wafting the plate as near her nose as he could. "I'm offering you some delicious food that's just hanging around this kitchen that Harry's certainly eating away."

"He was invited here, we were not," she grumbled, but her resolve was wavering as much as her mouth was watering. She'd skipped lunch to do a Transfiguration essay she was behind on, and she really was hungry...

"I'm listening to the fact that she had no more clue Harry was arriving than he did, and yet she dumped a plate of food on him. I'm sure if they were here this second we'd be offered the same while explaining ourselves," he wheedled.

By this point in the book they'd already finished breakfast, and the kids were going to do a punishment of de-gnoming the garden. There was no telling where they'd end up next, and it was being made perfectly clear how welcome Harry was here...surely that would extend to just one plate of food on her part...she made the mistake of glaring at him, determined he'd walk away, but was caught off guard by the sincerity of his concern. She usually didn't take the time to bother reading his face, she was usually to busy giving it the pure disdain it deserved for picking on every student in that school, especially her best friend. Her guard was down though, without Sev around, and for the first time she realized he had hazel eyes. Very open, wide eyes that were currently a genuine peace offering for some food.

Without even realizing she was doing it, she accepted the plate. The brilliant smile lighting his face was like none she'd ever seen before, from lips that usually were just throwing curses around. What was even more spinning than that was, he walked away. He didn't pester her anything further; brag he'd known this would work or point out he'd known what she would like, offer her a seat at the table, or even compliment her. He just went back to his friends, who had somehow wrangled Regulus into their conversation of bragging about how far they'd managed to throw gnomes, which apparently were out in the Forbidden Forest. She stabbed a potato and chewed slowly while looking back out the window, her mind scoffing at her caving like this while her stomach happily rumbled to shut up and enjoy.

Mr. Weasley turned out to be a delight, Sirius hadn't even known about the Muggle things around the house! He stopped pestering Regulus to give details of why he'd been in the Forest at any time and got up to go inspect the drawers, Frank watching him rummage through them without care suddenly making him understand why Evans had been so put off with their helping themselves to food. Clearly the Marauders were growing braver by thinking they could do anything they liked around here, though he was personally sure they'd be the same way no matter what the situation. He seemed as delighted as Arthur to find such things in here and called Lupin over to him to have a few things explained, abandoning the book in the middle of Mrs. Weasley chastising her husband for that car.

It took his friends several tries to convince him to leave the lot and finish, but his enthusiasm had vanished Regulus' good mood, he was looking about this house with such pure disgust they could have been back in Privet Drive. It made Frank a bit sad, how conditioned that kid must be to hate all things that weren't like his family, to even hate another pureblood family simply because they enjoyed Muggle things.

"I wish we could see Ron's room, and the twins room, and the rest of this place," Alice quietly said beside him, her eyes on the ceiling with curiosity.

"Perhaps we shall," Frank offered without much enthusiasm, personally he was just hoping this madness would end before they wound up trapped somewhere much less hospitable. That Devil's Snare was still weighing on his mind, and he already had a bad feeling this Potter kids life wasn't going to get much better from there, even if this chapter did end rather nicely for once.

[winterisakillerwrites]

Perfectly Imperfect

Title: Perfectly Imperfect

One Shot: 1/1

Character: Tom Hiddleston/Allie Thompson (OFC)

Genre: romance/ realistic fluff(?)

Rating: G

Summary:  Allie hadn’t expected anything when she’d handed him her number that night…She wasn’t even sure why she’d done it. After all she’d known the chances of him actually calling were slim to none, and that was being generous. But Allie had known she would have regretted not taking the chance so she’d handed him the napkin and climbed into her car, forcing herself not to look back.

Authors Notes/Warnings: This was written for @babylevines 4k challenge. My prompt was the line: “Stay here tonight”. Thanks to @redfoxwritesstuff for letting me continually throw ideas off and at you. I still can’t fathom why you put up with it, but I am eternally grateful you do. And thank you to @theheartofpenelope for letting me pester you with this and giving your feedback, you are awesome!

The evening had been nothing short of fantastic and Allie Thompson found herself wondering just when the other shoe was going to drop. Tom had been nothing short of a gentleman in the five weeks since they’d started seeing one another. He was attentive, thoughtful, and, while his schedule was erratic at best, he’d done his utmost to make his interest in her clear. The old adage ‘if it seems too good to be true, it probably is’ had been echoing around her mind, growing steadily louder with each passing week.  

She let her eyes roam over his profile as they sat, curled on his couch, watching a movie with the lights dimmed. He was gorgeous; hair slightly tousled, clad in dark jeans and thin, blue t-shirt, glasses perched on his long, straight nose. Gorgeous and smart and god she was so out of her depth here.

Allie hadn’t expected anything when she’d handed him her number that night…God was it really over a month ago? She wasn’t even sure why she’d done it. After all she’d known the chances of him actually calling were slim to none, and that was being generous. But Allie had known she would have regretted not taking the chance so she’d handed him the napkin and climbed into her car, forcing herself not to look back. And, looking back, she couldn’t believe things had actually worked out as well as they had.

                                                          —

It had been a shit day; she’d been late for work that morning, dropped her coffee as she’d run into the office ruining her new blouse (thank god she’d had a spare in her office for emergencies; the only good thing it seemed was going to come of the day), and to top it all off her blind date hadn’t bothered to show up. Allie stirred her second drink of the night, the ice having nearly melted, watering down the fruity alcoholic concoction significantly. Why she let herself get talked into accepting this farce of a date, she still couldn’t understand. Hell, she didn’t even know why she was still sitting in the bar in the first place. Not when she could have been at home, curled up on her couch with a book and a glass of wine.

“I don’t mean to sound forward but you look like you’ve had a rough night.” Her eyes snapped up at the horribly familiar voice. It couldn’t be…

Allie forced herself to close her mouth as she took in the smiling form of Tom Hiddleston standing before her. She blinked in confusion, wondering if the barkeep had doubled the liquor in her drink. Because clearly she was hallucinating. But, she admitted to herself, as hallucinations go this one isn’t so bad.

It wasn’t that she fantasied about the man standing before her…Or at least not frequently. But she would have to have been living under a rock not to recognize him. Allie has seen several of his films, mostly at Gilly’s behest. Her best friend was…Quite taken with the man, to point it mildly. And she’d dragged Allie along for the ride, whether she’d wanted to go or not.

Tom was undoubtedly talented and certainly not someone you’d kick out of bed. And yes…Technically, Allie may have googled a few pictures of him in her spare time, especially after that asshole Mark had decided he was more interested in screwing other women than trying to make things work with her. He was a harmless idea that she’d known would never exist outside of her head. And yet, somehow he was standing before her with his blindingly sincere smile.

It took her a few moments to find her voice. “You could certainly say that.”

Tom smiled and gestured at her half melted glass. “Would you like another?”

She chuckled and shook her head. “Probably not the best idea. I do have to drive myself home.”  

He nodded. “Fair point.” She watched as he appeared to weigh something in his mind. “Would you mind if I joined you?”

Allie blinked in confusion again and stuttered out a confused, “Why?”

Tom shrugged. “You look like you could use the company.” He smiled at her gently and quiet without meaning to, Allie returned the smile. Her hesitance, however, must have been clear on her face. “…But please, feel free to tell me to piss off if I’m being too forward.”

“Oh…Oh, its fine…I just…No, no please sit.” Allie gestured to the opened seat across from her. “You honestly don’t have to though. I’ll be fine, you must have someone waiting on you…” She wanted to slap herself for her own forwardness. It was obvious that Tom knew that she knew who he was. But knowing of him and his work didn’t in anyway mean that she knew him as a person. What he was doing and who he was with was absolutely none of his business.  

He shook his head and settled into the open seat, smile still spread across his face. “Nah. Was out with a few mates but they had to call it an early night, I have nowhere in particular I have to be tomorrow and decided to stick around.”

“Oh.”

Tom quirked an eyebrow, “Oh?”

Allie shook her head, “Nothing. Just…Nothing.” She played with the straw in her drink before giving in and taking a swallow then grimacing. God, it really was watered down. “So,” she started, trying desperately to think of some way to steer the conversation back to less potentially embarrassing topics. “I haven’t seen you around here before.” Well that certainly isn’t a leading question at all, Allie you utter, utter moron!

The smile on his face grew and he rubbed his slightly stubbly chin with his free hand. “Come here often then?”

She felt the blood rush to her face. “Sort of. This place isn’t too terribly far from work for me.” Allie took a deep breath. In for a penny, in for a pound. “I certainly would remember a face like yours.”

It was Tom’s turn to blush, the color rising quickly to his cheeks as he ducked his head. Some part of her, admittedly impaired, brain quickly filed that image away for later processing. I made Tom Hiddleston blush! He shook his head. “No, I’m getting ready to start a play in the area and this was the closest pub to the rehearsal space.”

Allie nodded. She’d heard, again through Gilly, that Tom was gearing up for the theatre again. But with all that had been going on in her life, she hadn’t paid much, if any, attention to the details. “Very nice. Well welcome. I’m Allie.” She held out her hand him and he took it firmly in his.

“Thank you, Allie. I’m Tom.” They sat in silence for several minutes before Tom cleared his throat and spoke once more. “Who were you waiting for, if I may ask?” He looked less than sure of himself

“Blind date.”

Tom’s brow wrinkled in confusion and then astonishment, “And he didn’t bother to show?”

“Obviously.” Allie turned her attention back to her drink.

“Well bully for him then,” Tom mused, taking a quick sip of his drink. “And all the better for me.”

Allie quirked her brow at him. “Do you use that line with all the girls, or am I special?”

Tom let out an awkward laugh, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand. “Um…God, no matter how I answer that I’m going to come off sounding like a gigantic ass.”

She snorted a laugh. “But it’s a nice ass.”

His laugh this time was genuine. “You think so?”

Allie blushed. “Well…”

Tom waggled his eyebrows at her and they both broke into fits of laughter. Allie was surprised at how comfortable she felt around the man sitting before her. It was surreal, sitting here talking with a man she had only ever seen on screen. Surreal but wonderful all at once. Allie found him incredibly easy to talk to and, quite honestly, a fantastic flirt.

She sighed and slowly sipped her drink; finding flirting so much easier knowing that in the end it most likely wouldn’t matter. Tom, while clearly every bit as charming and genuine as he’d appeared on screen, was most likely never going to see her again once they parted ways. Knowing there was a time limit, a definite end, made it safer for Allie to put herself out there. After all, what did she have to lose?

Tom did talk his way into buying her another drink, a lemonade this time, “I know you said you need to be able to drive home tonight.” And she sipped it gratefully, wondering just how her night had turned from disaster to something altogether enjoyable. It surprised her when she’d next glanced at her watch that it was nearing midnight. How the bloody hell had that happened?

Ignoring thoughts of glass slippers and carriages turning back into pumpkins, Allie pushed herself from the bench and smiled warmly at Tom.

“Leaving so soon?” He asked before his eyes fell to his own watch. “Or not so soon. I can’t believe it’s that late already.”

She shrugged. “They say time flies when you’re having fun. But I do need to be off. I have work in the morning.” Allie could have sworn she’d seen a flash of disappointment in his eyes but dismissed it as a trick of the lighting.

“Could I at least walk you to your car?” She hesitated for a moment before nodding. If he was going to prolong the evening, if only for a few moments, then who was she to interfere?

They walked silently from the warmth of the pub out into the cool night air. Her car, a light blue compact, was parked on a side street not too far from the main entrance and they made it there in less time than Allie had hoped. She smiled sheepishly as she turned to face him. “Well this is me.”

Tom returned her smile and, after a brief paused, leaned in and kissed her gently on the lips. He tasted of whiskey and warmth and Allie felt her head swim. They were both slightly breathless when he pulled back. “It’s been lovely, Allie.”

“It has.”

Allie wasn’t sure what made her do it, bold was the absolute last word anyone would use to describe her, she pulled a napkin and pen from her purse and quickly scribbled her name and mobile number on it. Without giving herself time to think, she pushed it into Tom’s hand, smiled softly, and climbed into her car.

She hadn’t expected anything to come of it. Had done her utmost best to push the thought of him actually using the number from her mind as she drove home. So the soft ping of an incoming text message as she fought to undo the deadbolt of her main door caught Allie by surprise.

‘It’s Tom, from the pub. Just wanted to make sure you made it home safe. And to say once more that I had a lovely time.’

Allie blinked at her screen in confusion; torn between flattery and disbelief. “Well fuck me sideways.”

The phone pinged again as another text arrived.

‘And to say I would very much like to see you again.’

                                                           —

Tom chuckled, turning his eyes briefly from the screen toward her. “Something on your mind?” His smooth voice danced with mirth and Allie felt her face flush in embarrassment at being caught staring

“Yes…No…Sorry.” She cursed a blue streak in her mind. What the fuck was wrong with her?

He picked up the remote and hit pause, turning his full attention on Allie. “What’s going on in that head of yours?”

Allie shrugged, not quite sure how to put the thoughts swirling through her mind into words that might actually make sense.

“You can talk to me,” he assured her. “Whatever it is, I promise not to judge.” Tom reaches out and cupped her cheek with his hand.

She let out a nervous laugh. “This.”

Confusion spread across his features. “I’m afraid you’ve lost me.”

Allie swallowed, trying to gather her wits. She leaned back, breaking their contact, and gestured between them. “This. You…You are wonderful and kind and ridiculously amazing…”

“And…” He trailed off, a look of apprehension in his blue eyes.

“And I’ve not been this happy in a very, very long time. That scares me, Tom. You are almost too good to be true and I keep waiting for…” Allie stopped, turning away from his intense gaze, feeling so incredibly stupid for saying anything in the first place. “It’s stupid.”

Tom’s hand came to rest on her shoulder and slowly moved until it rested beneath her chin. Gently, he turned Allie’s face back towards him and locked his eyes with her bright green ones. “It’s not stupid.” A warm smile spread across his face. “If you are feeling it, Allie, it isn’t stupid. I’m not…” He paused, searching for the right words. “I’m not an easy person to be with. My life is chaos at the best of times and no matter how hard I try, I am so very far from perfect. I can be obsessive with my work and I’ve been accused, and not unfairly, of being distant and hard to reach when I get wrapped up in a project.”

Allie opened her mouth to protest but was quickly silenced by the look in Tom’s eye.

“I’m not perfect, Allie, and at some point I will do something to let you down even though it’s the last thing I want to do.” He paused again, dropping his hands to his lap. “This scares me too. I’ve not had an excellent track record when it comes to successful relationships and I don’t want this…Us, to be a part of that. But that is part of the risk of a relationship and I think…I hope it’s worth it. That we are worth it. That I want us to be. And I know it’s early days yet and even bring this up is probably way too much, way too quickly…But I want you to know…I want you to see that I am not taking any of this lightly.”

“I swear to god, Hiddleston!” A choked sob slipped from Allie’s lips and she pushed her hand against Tom’s shoulder. “How is it you always seem to know what to say?” She sighed. “It’s getting a bit intimidating.”

Tom reached up to clasp her hand in his own, “Give me time, I’m almost positive I’ll say something stupid sooner or later. Just ask my sisters, I’m sure they have plenty of stories that would highlight my less than stellar side.” They both laughed softly at that. “I’m not perfect, Allie. I’m just me. And I have come to care a great deal about you. I don’t know if this will work but I want to do my best so that it does.”

She sat in silence for a few moments before bringing herself to speak. “I want it to work too. I just…This is new for me and I don’t know exactly what I’m doing here.”

Tom laughed softly. “That makes two of us.” He pulled her against his side, kissing the side of her head. The small gesture sent a shiver through her. It was far from the most intimate thing they had done (not that they had done a great deal, physically), but something about the innocence of the act that struck her. “We’ll figure it out as we go.”

Allie nodded, settling gratefully into Tom’s embrace. He un-paused the film and they settled back into the quiet comfort of the evening. By the time the credits began to roll, Allie had fallen asleep against his shoulder. He smiled, watching her face relaxed and serene in sleep.  

“Wake up, sleeping beauty,” he whispered, gently shaking her shoulder. She stirred, her face scrunching first in confusion then in annoyance. “Allie, darling. It’s late. The film’s over.”

Allie cracked her eyes open, blinking in the dim light. “Wastime it?”

Tom laughed. “It’s half eleven.”

“Five more minutes,” she slurred, burying her head farther into his chest. Allie was warm and he was ever so comfortable. The idea of forcing herself to get up and make the trek back across the city to her small flat seemed unbearable.

He took a deep breath, running his thumb across her cheek, smiling as Allie leaned into his touch. “Why…Why don’t you stay here tonight?”

She pushed herself up, staring at Tom in confusion. “What?”

Tom took another deep breath and continued with more confidence. “Stay here tonight. With me.” He leaned in, his blue eyes locking on hers, and kissed her gently.

Allie pulled back studying his expression before smiling softly up at him. Maybe this was a mistake, maybe it wasn’t. The only way to know was simply to take that leap. “Okay,” She whispered, wrapping her arms around his neck and returned the kiss. She reluctantly pulled back and nodded. “Okay, I’ll stay.”

[tominostuff]

Tomino x Hosoda on Wolf Children

Source - https://char-blog.hatenadiary.org/entry/20140720/1405889329 

Date: April 2013

--What was the reason behind Mr. Tomino giving this movie such high praise when it was released?

Tomino: Anyone who has experienced child-raising understands that children are an uncontrollable “wolf-like” existence to parents. I saw some opinions that marrying a “wolf” is disgusting but there are times when a boyfriend/girlfriend who seemed beautiful during the romantic stage suddenly changes into an existence even harder to understand than a wolf. In this way, [Hosoda] took a very normal story that everyone experiences and skillfully used an animation metaphor to keep the film within a very easy to watch time frame. It's frustrating to admit but Director Hosoda has become very capable. 

Hosoda: I was very encouraged by your earlier comments so I’m sincerely grateful to you. 

Tomino: In preparation for this interview, I read many reviews of the film and was reassured by what I saw. Mothers who are currently raising children would write, “this film is a very accurate portrayal of a mother.” I thought, finally animation has produced a “film” that could appeal to a wide audience. There’s something revolutionary in a different way from Miyazaki films. For example, among the reviews, there were some wondering whether the director was conscious of Waldorf Education while making the film. 

Hosoda: To get straight to the point, no, I was not aware. The main mother character, being placed in the special situation where she could not rely on general medical institutions to raise “the wolf children”, had no choice but to  prepare for children's illness with books, ranging from the classics like "Childcare Code", "Encyclopedia of Childcare" and "Pediatric Medicine", to books on natural remedies. It was simply a matter of Waldorf Education being among those books but what’s interesting is the audience noticing this book cover in the corner of the screen and debating the theories written in those books on their blogs. I think it represents how urgent of an issue child-rearing is for parents.

Tomino: I will not affirm or deny that particular theory of education, but I was surprised that mothers, who have a deep knowledge of children's literature and education, made statements that captured the work to this pedigree. As I thought, this work is seen by a fairly wide range of people. However, when I heard the opinions of the anime industry, I got the sense that they were discussing within the narrow confines of genres. In the first place, I don't really understand the tendency to organize media by identifying people into markets or generations and I think this tendency is making recent works lacking.

Hosoda: I too, think that this newest work has come to a place outside of the usual anime context. Up until Summer Wars I wanted to find out how far I could take world building and see what’s beyond that, while staying within the genre film. On the other hand, there are "movie fans" who have a wide field of view and on the other, there are also many people who like genres films like action, horror, romance, etc. From those people I received criticism which prioritized the laws of genre films, for example, "If you write a werewolf character, that character has to be persecuted and shot by the police and die.”

Tomino: That’s exactly what someone caught up in genres would say. Anime has a narratology centered around action, but I felt Wolf Children went outside of that. The very fact that unfamiliar terms such as “Waldorf Education” came up is proof that there are people who believe this movie goes beyond the confines of anime. In other words, it was conveyed that Hana, the mother character, is not as anime-like and pretty/delicate as the picture, but a woman who carried out strong child-rearing with considerable knowledge and insight. When I saw those reviews that touched upon the very core themes of the plot, I thought that anime was finally established as a medium.

Hosoda: Exactly. This time, I was very happy to see women, especially those in the middle of child raising, discuss this film from the viewpoint of a fellow mother. There was sound debate, including criticism. It's proof that the motif of this film is universal. After all, in both movies and anime, world building and expressions have wider potential than genres.

Tomino: That's exactly right. In my case, I’m very greedy, so if I am to express something to the world, I want it to become popular. I'm not interested in producing something that is only accessible to a narrow group of people who like certain genres. If you start making pandering work for niches, you will become a niche yourself and you will set up a flag to be discriminated against and beaten by society. If you are given the opportunity to express yourself in a public place and show your will, it’s better to be liked by everyone. Of course, being accepted is the premise that business is built upon as well. So, people tend to go in the direction of "it is easier to sell if you specialize by genre", but a work created upon that idea will last for at most two to three years. If I am spending a lot of money to make it, I want to do big business, show a concept that will last 10 years, 20 years, 50 years, and make it sell for a long time. There are quite a lot of works that are forgotten after the momentary box office profit. In that sense, Wolf Children definitely showed a new frontier of "things to express to the public" and I believe that the evaluation and recognition in the next 10 or 20 years will be much higher than it is now. 

 --What kind of expectations does Director Tomino have for Director Hosoda for the future?

Tomino: I don't have any particular expectations, but more what I would like people to pay attention to is the fact that not everything was made by Mr. Hosoda. The existence of scenario writer, Ms. (Satoko) Okudera is huge and it must’ve only been possible because they were in a realistic space where they could observe children. To the point where you might not have been able to make it if the timing was off by about a year or two. This is a realistic work. So while I think, wow you did really well, unfortunately I also think you’ll never have another chance like this. The moment you are told, "that was a hit, let's do it again!", you may fall with a boom so watch out for that. *tl note cough cough* mirai no mirai *cough* 

Hosoda: I may have obtained credibility from the box office hit but I believe every movie comes down to the original project proposal. In the future as well, it will depend on the spirit of challenge and fun imbued in each and every proposal. Instead of thinking, “This particular one was a hit so the next one has to go even higher,” I would like to seek a unique enjoyment of movies to share with audiences for each project. So even if I am asked to make another installment of this movie… 

Tomino: I mean you can’t, can you? 

Hosoda: Yeah, it is a complete work as it is. I will move on to the next new work. At that time, I have to forget all the previous works and start from scratch thinking about what is interesting in this world. 

 --How do you feel about Mr. Tomino’s previous statement about making work for the public?

Hosoda:  In the case of Wolf Children, the starting point of my idea was from a very familiar place. At the time, my wife and I were having a hard time making children. Therefore, the desire to raise a child and become a parent is directly reflected in the movie. At the same time, I thought that the motif of "raising children" is universal not only to us Japanese but to all over the world. Anyone in any country experiences it. Even if you have no children, you experience being raised by your parents. It's a story common to all humankind, so I thought this was a project that had the potential to be viewed by everyone. That's why I said something like the "child-rearing" film genre, but I realized that there is no such movie (laughs). In the first place, it is difficult to film a live-action movie of a situation like "growing up slowly", and I can't find a movie about a child where the parent is the main character. It’s always the conflict filled story of “overcoming parents in order for their children to grow up." I planned it as a "story from an observational perspective" about how parents watch the growth of their children, but I was really in trouble because there was nothing to refer to. Originally, movies originated from counterculture, so I think that is also related. 

Tomino: I was surprised to hear that, but it again reaffirmed the superstition that we could express freely, it’s actually not free at all. The fact that Wolf Children is taken for granted even though it’s doing such special things is amazing. Because at the end of the day it's a cliché story, isn't it? But due to the fact that it is universal …….

Hosoda: Yes, it's a very cliche story you can find anywhere. 

Tomino: But the moment it was illustrated through animation techniques, it looks revolutionary. This is actually an embarrassing story because something too obvious should not look innovative. It's a tremendous work because even that aspect can be learned from it. 

Hosoda: No no, as a creator, I just started from a very straightforward ideal and aspiration, thinking, "I want to do something like this, something like that, when I have a child," in line with the feelings of my wife and I. When I interviewed fathers and mothers who are raising children as references, they talked about hardships like "I can't sleep at night, I'll run out of personal time", but it all sounded enviable to me. “The fact that you are carrying all of that on your back is amazing!” is how I felt. 

Tomino: I see....I couldn't have imagined cutting in from that angle. Even though your own children aren’t that old yet, each one of the scenes are neatly arranged by age. While I was watching the film, I couldn’t understand how you could possibly depict the children’s growth so accurately but listening to your story just now, I think I understand half of it. Were you yearning to be a parent to that extent?

Hosoda: Yes, I was aspiring for it. If I didn’t hold ideals toward the idea, I don’t think this movie could’ve been made. If I had actually experienced a sleepless night with a newborn child, I don’t think I would’ve been able to make a film out of it. Because I had a longing for it, that became the power behind the realism. Even though there are some weaknesses to it not being a lived experience, I felt this was the only time I could make this film. Rather than my personal feelings when I first wrote the plot, I am amazed and grateful towards the secretary company and distribution company that took on such a challenging story. 

Tomino: It’s exactly as you say. After all, in the anime industry, we, the creators, are contaminated with the preconceived notion of anime. The staff who had the sensitivity to identify such potential in this film only with that title and proposal is certainly amazing.

 --Which scene was the most memorable for Director Tomino?

Tomino: It's rare for me, but I smiled at the last cut. Even though it was a cut with a loose composition without any ingenuity, I giggled, mimicking Hana. It’s because I thought, “Parents are just like that, aren’t they.” As the conclusion of a movie, this was really amazing because usually one would want to include something message-like here. If it were me, I’d be too scared to keep her just seated at the table and would make her look towards the mountains and say “Are you doing well?” There aren’t many movies that end so neatly like that. After all, it is a film that raises the story of the movie and the overall representation theory in a fairly dramatic way. However, looking at director Hosoda's career, you've improved your skills for the pursuit of the genre of anime, and you also love anime as an audience member, right? When trying to pursue such a versatile story with a natural theme, Mr. Hosoda's strength of "animation lover" may turn into a weakness and become a double-edged sword.

Hosoda: It's exactly as you pointed out. But I don't think it's possible to stop liking anime anymore.

Tomino: Of course you can't. Therefore, there is no choice but to plan movies in a straightforward, rule abiding way. In my case, I had the same kind of trouble with Gundam, so I know it's harsh. That’s the extent to which Mr. Hosoda hit the nail on the head and got out of the environment where just making work for the sake of doing the job would pass. 

Hosoda: However, while there are hundreds of thousands of movies in the history of movies, from many different people from many different cultures, I still think there is something out there that hasn’t been depicted yet. That is my "hope" that I have to keep making for my son who was born.

Tomino: That's the right line of sight. If you have that perspective, I think you can still make many works in the future. Those are probably words that can only be spoken by someone who felt “maybe what I’m creating is not anime?” since The Girl Who Lept Through Time. Because I personally have never come up with the logic that "there may be something that hasn’t become a movie yet."

Hosoda: What? That has to be a lie. Director Tomino was the one to provide that concept. We have been encouraged by that for over 30 years.

Tomino: No, I have the confidence to say that I don't have that kind of creativity or writing abilities. 

Hosoda: There’s no way that’s possible. If so, why did we enjoy the thrill of going “I would've never thought up of this!” every time Director Tomino’s new work came out? 

Tomino: That's because, in my case, I'm only thinking about the responsibility of "expressing to the public." Regardless of the fact that there were restrictions due to having sponsors involved with big robots, I have come so far only thinking about the narrow exit of, “if other people make it like this, I will do it this way.”

Hosoda: However, as far as I can see, it seems that Mr. Tomino's work pushes itself beyond and is located far above that, while being aware of the public consciousness. 

Tomino: Yes, to that, I can be very clear. Because I don't trust the modern public. How can we raise the public to highbrow and make them Newypes? I desire to continue thinking about these feelings towards the future through the theory of communication. Am I overreaching? That's why I'm taught that "a writer must have a perspective like Mr. Hosoda." I couldn't become a fiction writer because I didn't have that sense. Even looking at the relationship between Hana, Yuki and Ame, I realized that "Drama is something that must be assembled like this."

Hosoda: To me this is an unbelievable story. That relationship between Hana, Yuki and Ame could easily be replaced with the path taken by Commander Doba and Haruru and Karara of Space Runaway Ideon. However I couldn’t write the fierce drama of that parent and child as is… 

Tomino: If you say Wolf Children feels lacking because it’s simply about child-rearing without the fierce drama, then you are wrong. Things that everyone already knows. Things that everyone actually has hidden deep inside of them, to be able to just say those things straight out and lay it bare in public. Things like the sensual sense of distance in human relationships, you depict so naturally. I personally can't do that, so I forced it through with an easy-to-understand structure and logic. Passionate feelings required for a drama originally requires a sense of distance, and it should be drawn within that. Whether the distance when a hand stretches out and touches another person is true or good, false or true… that sense of distance is a wonderful way to show the goal of the story naturally. Director Hosoda is allowed to have confidence in his ability to direct those kinds of scenes. 

Hosoda: I believe that great directing is not in the skills but luck. There was an intangible something that fit the content and tone of the movie. It was good that I was able to stick it out until the moment when I thought "this is good!" for each cut. Those kinds of moments are luck, and the director is the type of person who has to wait for those moments to happen. I think the directors are blessed with their each individual type of luck.

Tomino: I think that as well and also think that, ideally, a play cannot be made unless you are prepared to make it after understanding the whole world.

Hosoda: That being said, while I think the motif I chose this time is good, I also realized that my ability as a director was not caught up with it, but I still had to go through the pain of making it anyway. I don't really understand the whole world, and I don't have enough expressiveness…

Tomino: if that is the case, then I think you’re okay. What’s important is the awareness that “my abilities may not be enough.” There are certain things that can only be built upon that awareness and even if it's making scenes, it’s not something that can be done by one person. Overcoming obstacles with brute force, saying, "There is no choice but to do it like this," sometimes becomes a form of expression that exceeds one’s own ability. The better the movie, the more I think that the camera is set up with the humility that “I can't do it all by myself,” and you can see the power of the group that one doesn’t see in individual work. 

Hosoda: For sure, and that’s important in animation as well. 

Tomino: Even with desk work like anime, not everything can be controlled by oneself. With such humility in mind, please continue to create soft Hosoda works that everyone can enjoy. 

Hosoda: I’m very honored to receive these words. I will continue to use them as encouragement. 

[winterisakiller]

Perfectly Imperfect

Title: Perfectly Imperfect

One Shot: 1/1

Character: Tom Hiddleston/Allie Thompson (OFC)

Genre: romance/ realistic fluff(?)

Rating: G

Summary:  Allie hadn’t expected anything when she’d handed him her number that night…She wasn’t even sure why she’d done it. After all she’d known the chances of him actually calling were slim to none, and that was being generous. But Allie had known she would have regretted not taking the chance so she’d handed him the napkin and climbed into her car, forcing herself not to look back.

Authors Notes/Warnings: This was written for @babylevines 4k challenge. My prompt was the line: “Stay here tonight”. Thanks to @redfoxwritesstuff for letting me continually throw ideas off and at you. I still can’t fathom why you put up with it, but I am eternally grateful you do. And thank you to @theheartofpenelope for letting me pester you with this and giving your feedback, you are awesome!

I was going to wait until next Tuesday to post this, but decided why not and here we are. 

Tag list: @tinchentitri @theheartofpenelope @blacksuitofdoom @messy-insomniac-bookgirl @noplacelikehome77

The evening had been nothing short of fantastic and Allie Thompson found herself wondering just when the other shoe was going to drop. Tom had been nothing short of a gentleman in the five weeks since they’d started seeing one another. He was attentive, thoughtful, and, while his schedule was erratic at best, he’d done his utmost to make his interest in her clear. The old adage ‘if it seems too good to be true, it probably is’ had been echoing around her mind, growing steadily louder with each passing week.  

 She let her eyes roam over his profile as they sat, curled on his couch, watching a movie with the lights dimmed. He was gorgeous; hair slightly tousled, clad in dark jeans and thin, blue t-shirt, glasses perched on his long, straight nose. Gorgeous and smart and god she was so out of her depth here.

 Allie hadn’t expected anything when she’d handed him her number that night…God was it really over a month ago? She wasn’t even sure why she’d done it. After all she’d known the chances of him actually calling were slim to none, and that was being generous. But Allie had known she would have regretted not taking the chance so she’d handed him the napkin and climbed into her car, forcing herself not to look back. And, looking back, she couldn’t believe things had actually worked out as well as they had.

                                                            —

 It had been a shit day; she’d been late for work that morning, dropped her coffee as she’d run into the office ruining her new blouse (thank god she’d had a spare in her office for emergencies; the only good thing it seemed was going to come of the day), and to top it all off her blind date hadn’t bothered to show up. Allie stirred her second drink of the night, the ice having nearly melted, watering down the fruity alcoholic concoction significantly. Why she let herself get talked into accepting this farce of a date, she still couldn’t understand. Hell, she didn’t even know why she was still sitting in the bar in the first place. Not when she could have been at home, curled up on her couch with a book and a glass of wine.

 “I don’t mean to sound forward but you look like you’ve had a rough night.” Her eyes snapped up at the horribly familiar voice. It couldn’t be…

 Allie forced herself to close her mouth as she took in the smiling form of Tom Hiddleston standing before her. She blinked in confusion, wondering if the barkeep had doubled the liquor in her drink. Because clearly she was hallucinating. But, she admitted to herself, as hallucinations go this one isn’t so bad.

 It wasn’t that she fantasied about the man standing before her…Or at least not frequently. But she would have to have been living under a rock not to recognize him. Allie has seen several of his films, mostly at Gilly’s behest. Her best friend was…Quite taken with the man, to point it mildly. And she’d dragged Allie along for the ride, whether she’d wanted to go or not.

 Tom was undoubtedly talented and certainly not someone you’d kick out of bed. And yes…Technically, Allie may have googled a few pictures of him in her spare time, especially after that asshole Mark had decided he was more interested in screwing other women than trying to make things work with her. He was a harmless idea that she’d known would never exist outside of her head. And yet, somehow he was standing before her with his blindingly sincere smile.

 It took her a few moments to find her voice. “You could certainly say that.”

 Tom smiled and gestured at her half melted glass. “Would you like another?”

 She chuckled and shook her head. “Probably not the best idea. I do have to drive myself home.”  

 He nodded. “Fair point.” She watched as he appeared to weigh something in his mind. “Would you mind if I joined you?”

 Allie blinked in confusion again and stuttered out a confused, “Why?”

 Tom shrugged. “You look like you could use the company.” He smiled at her gently and quiet without meaning to, Allie returned the smile. Her hesitance, however, must have been clear on her face. “…But please, feel free to tell me to piss off if I’m being too forward.”

 “Oh…Oh, its fine…I just…No, no please sit.” Allie gestured to the opened seat across from her. “You honestly don’t have to though. I’ll be fine, you must have someone waiting on you…” She wanted to slap herself for her own forwardness. It was obvious that Tom knew that she knew who he was. But knowing of him and his work didn’t in anyway mean that she knew him as a person. What he was doing and who he was with was absolutely none of his business.  

 He shook his head and settled into the open seat, smile still spread across his face. “Nah. Was out with a few mates but they had to call it an early night, I have nowhere in particular I have to be tomorrow and decided to stick around.”

 “Oh.”

 Tom quirked an eyebrow, “Oh?”

 Allie shook her head, “Nothing. Just…Nothing.” She played with the straw in her drink before giving in and taking a swallow then grimacing. God, it really was watered down. “So,” she started, trying desperately to think of some way to steer the conversation back to less potentially embarrassing topics. “I haven’t seen you around here before.” Well that certainly isn’t a leading question at all, Allie you utter, utter moron!

 The smile on his face grew and he rubbed his slightly stubbly chin with his free hand. “Come here often then?”

 She felt the blood rush to her face. “Sort of. This place isn’t too terribly far from work for me.” Allie took a deep breath. In for a penny, in for a pound. “I certainly would remember a face like yours.”

 It was Tom’s turn to blush, the color rising quickly to his cheeks as he ducked his head. Some part of her, admittedly impaired, brain quickly filed that image away for later processing. I made Tom Hiddleston blush! He shook his head. “No, I’m getting ready to start a play in the area and this was the closest pub to the rehearsal space.”

 Allie nodded. She’d heard, again through Gilly, that Tom was gearing up for the theatre again. But with all that had been going on in her life, she hadn’t paid much, if any, attention to the details. “Very nice. Well welcome. I’m Allie.” She held out her hand him and he took it firmly in his.

 “Thank you, Allie. I’m Tom.” They sat in silence for several minutes before Tom cleared his throat and spoke once more. “Who were you waiting for, if I may ask?” He looked less than sure of himself

 “Blind date.”

 Tom’s brow wrinkled in confusion and then astonishment, “And he didn’t bother to show?”

 “Obviously.” Allie turned her attention back to her drink.

 “Well bully for him then,” Tom mused, taking a quick sip of his drink. “And all the better for me.”

 Allie quirked her brow at him. “Do you use that line with all the girls, or am I special?”

 Tom let out an awkward laugh, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand. “Um…God, no matter how I answer that I’m going to come off sounding like a gigantic ass.”

 She snorted a laugh. “But it’s a nice ass.”

 His laugh this time was genuine. “You think so?”

 Allie blushed. “Well…”

 Tom waggled his eyebrows at her and they both broke into fits of laughter. Allie was surprised at how comfortable she felt around the man sitting before her. It was surreal, sitting here talking with a man she had only ever seen on screen. Surreal but wonderful all at once. Allie found him incredibly easy to talk to and, quite honestly, a fantastic flirt.

 She sighed and slowly sipped her drink; finding flirting so much easier knowing that in the end it most likely wouldn’t matter. Tom, while clearly every bit as charming and genuine as he’d appeared on screen, was most likely never going to see her again once they parted ways. Knowing there was a time limit, a definite end, made it safer for Allie to put herself out there. After all, what did she have to lose?

 Tom did talk his way into buying her another drink, a lemonade this time, “I know you said you need to be able to drive home tonight.” And she sipped it gratefully, wondering just how her night had turned from disaster to something altogether enjoyable. It surprised her when she’d next glanced at her watch that it was nearing midnight. How the bloody hell had that happened?

 Ignoring thoughts of glass slippers and carriages turning back into pumpkins, Allie pushed herself from the bench and smiled warmly at Tom.

 “Leaving so soon?” He asked before his eyes fell to his own watch. “Or not so soon. I can’t believe it’s that late already.”

 She shrugged. “They say time flies when you’re having fun. But I do need to be off. I have work in the morning.” Allie could have sworn she’d seen a flash of disappointment in his eyes but dismissed it as a trick of the lighting.

 “Could I at least walk you to your car?” She hesitated for a moment before nodding. If he was going to prolong the evening, if only for a few moments, then who was she to interfere?

 They walked silently from the warmth of the pub out into the cool night air. Her car, a light blue compact, was parked on a side street not too far from the main entrance and they made it there in less time than Allie had hoped. She smiled sheepishly as she turned to face him. “Well this is me.”

 Tom returned her smile and, after a brief paused, leaned in and kissed her gently on the lips. He tasted of whiskey and warmth and Allie felt her head swim. They were both slightly breathless when he pulled back. “It’s been lovely, Allie.”

 “It has.”

 Allie wasn’t sure what made her do it, bold was the absolute last word anyone would use to describe her, she pulled a napkin and pen from her purse and quickly scribbled her name and mobile number on it. Without giving herself time to think, she pushed it into Tom’s hand, smiled softly, and climbed into her car.

 She hadn’t expected anything to come of it. Had done her utmost best to push the thought of him actually using the number from her mind as she drove home. So the soft ping of an incoming text message as she fought to undo the deadbolt of her main door caught Allie by surprise.

 ‘It’s Tom, from the pub. Just wanted to make sure you made it home safe. And to say once more that I had a lovely time.’

 Allie blinked at her screen in confusion; torn between flattery and disbelief. “Well fuck me sideways.”

 The phone pinged again as another text arrived.

 ‘And to say I would very much like to see you again.’

                                                             —

 Tom chuckled, turning his eyes briefly from the screen toward her. “Something on your mind?” His smooth voice danced with mirth and Allie felt her face flush in embarrassment at being caught staring

 “Yes…No…Sorry.” She cursed a blue streak in her mind. What the fuck was wrong with her?

 He picked up the remote and hit pause, turning his full attention on Allie. “What’s going on in that head of yours?”

 Allie shrugged, not quite sure how to put the thoughts swirling through her mind into words that might actually make sense.

 “You can talk to me,” he assured her. “Whatever it is, I promise not to judge.” Tom reaches out and cupped her cheek with his hand.

 She let out a nervous laugh. “This.”

 Confusion spread across his features. “I’m afraid you’ve lost me.”

 Allie swallowed, trying to gather her wits. She leaned back, breaking their contact, and gestured between them. “This. You…You are wonderful and kind and ridiculously amazing…”

 “And…” He trailed off, a look of apprehension in his blue eyes.

 “And I’ve not been this happy in a very, very long time. That scares me, Tom. You are almost too good to be true and I keep waiting for…” Allie stopped, turning away from his intense gaze, feeling so incredibly stupid for saying anything in the first place. “It’s stupid.”

 Tom’s hand came to rest on her shoulder and slowly moved until it rested beneath her chin. Gently, he turned Allie’s face back towards him and locked his eyes with her bright green ones. “It’s not stupid.” A warm smile spread across his face. “If you are feeling it, Allie, it isn’t stupid. I’m not…” He paused, searching for the right words. “I’m not an easy person to be with. My life is chaos at the best of times and no matter how hard I try, I am so very far from perfect. I can be obsessive with my work and I’ve been accused, and not unfairly, of being distant and hard to reach when I get wrapped up in a project.”

 Allie opened her mouth to protest but was quickly silenced by the look in Tom’s eye.

 “I’m not perfect, Allie, and at some point I will do something to let you down even though it’s the last thing I want to do.” He paused again, dropping his hands to his lap. “This scares me too. I’ve not had an excellent track record when it comes to successful relationships and I don’t want this…Us, to be a part of that. But that is part of the risk of a relationship and I think…I hope it’s worth it. That we are worth it. That I want us to be. And I know it’s early days yet and even bring this up is probably way too much, way too quickly…But I want you to know…I want you to see that I am not taking any of this lightly.”

 “I swear to god, Hiddleston!” A choked sob slipped from Allie’s lips and she pushed her hand against Tom’s shoulder. “How is it you always seem to know what to say?” She sighed. “It’s getting a bit intimidating.”

 Tom reached up to clasp her hand in his own, “Give me time, I’m almost positive I’ll say something stupid sooner or later. Just ask my sisters, I’m sure they have plenty of stories that would highlight my less than stellar side.” They both laughed softly at that. “I’m not perfect, Allie. I’m just me. And I have come to care a great deal about you. I don’t know if this will work but I want to do my best so that it does.”

 She sat in silence for a few moments before bringing herself to speak. “I want it to work too. I just…This is new for me and I don’t know exactly what I’m doing here.”

 Tom laughed softly. “That makes two of us.” He pulled her against his side, kissing the side of her head. The small gesture sent a shiver through her. It was far from the most intimate thing they had done (not that they had done a great deal, physically), but something about the innocence of the act that struck her. “We’ll figure it out as we go.”

 Allie nodded, settling gratefully into Tom’s embrace. He un-paused the film and they settled back into the quiet comfort of the evening. By the time the credits began to roll, Allie had fallen asleep against his shoulder. He smiled, watching her face relaxed and serene in sleep.  

 “Wake up, sleeping beauty,” he whispered, gently shaking her shoulder. She stirred, her face scrunching first in confusion then in annoyance. “Allie, darling. It’s late. The film’s over.”

 Allie cracked her eyes open, blinking in the dim light. “Wastime it?”

 Tom laughed. “It’s half eleven.”

 “Five more minutes,” she slurred, burying her head farther into his chest. Allie was warm and he was ever so comfortable. The idea of forcing herself to get up and make the trek back across the city to her small flat seemed unbearable.

 He took a deep breath, running his thumb across her cheek, smiling as Allie leaned into his touch. “Why…Why don’t you stay here tonight?”

 She pushed herself up, staring at Tom in confusion. “What?”

 Tom took another deep breath and continued with more confidence. “Stay here tonight. With me.” He leaned in, his blue eyes locking on hers, and kissed her gently.

 Allie pulled back studying his expression before smiling softly up at him. Maybe this was a mistake, maybe it wasn’t. The only way to know was simply to take that leap. “Okay,” She whispered, wrapping her arms around his neck and returned the kiss. She reluctantly pulled back and nodded. “Okay, I’ll stay.”

[tellywoodtrash]

Sanjivani - Weeks 2 + 3

This is now my lunchtime show (replacing random topical news comedy like Late Night with Seth Meyers, Last Week Tonight, Patriot Act, etc.) It’s a nice show to consume that way; I’m not super-involved in it, but it decently holds my interest for a solid 20 minutes as I shove something in my gaping maw.

Overall Plot

Marginal improvement in plot as the show and characters settle in. We learn more about the backgrounds of Ishani and Sid, and their relationship becomes much better. The Shashank/Anjali/Juhi/Vardhan dynamics are also nicely built up, and frankly the more interesting overarching plotline of the show.

The Medical Stuff

They seem to be going for a Grey’s Anatomy type of vibe, I think, focusing on one or two cases over the week. Nothing as interesting as in Grey’s, here it’s more routine kinda cases, but there does seem to be more focus on medicine than there ever was in DMG, which I’m kinda thankful for. While yes, I’m interested in the interpersonal dynamics, I also wanna see these people do their jobs (rather than just canoodling/having angsty fights in stairways and on-call rooms.) With other shows, I really really hate when a day goes on and on for weeks, but in this show, it’s realistic. Residents do often have to do 24 - 36 hour shifts, and each week being about one shift, it’s well-encapsulated; I like how the show flows from one day/shift/case to another.

The Acting

The seniors (Mohnish, Gurdeep, Sayantani) remain the best part, as expected, turning in consistent performances. Surbhi’s performance has toned down considerably, and that’s a big relief. The show would have been unwatchable if she hadn’t. Namit is still weak in some regards (like crying; god that one scene in Week 2 was really bad) but is getting better. He’s best in scenes where he has to be soft and considerate (comforting Anjali/Ishani/Sanya/Neeti etc.) or taking charge of things, coz he plays both these aspects confidently. I also like the chemistry when paired with Surbhi, because he plays off her really well. Only upwards from here, I should hope. The others are.... eh. They’re background characters, so they do what is expected of them.

The Characters

Sid: Sid’s the character that’s grown on me the most compared to the first week. They’ve thankfully toned down his fuckboy-ness waaaaaay down (not sure why they decided to introduce him that way, when it doesn’t even seem to be true of his character aside from in the pilot.) We find out a little more about his social background/family, and it explains why/how he is the way he is. I appreciate his camaraderie with Ishani; he’s obviously fond of her, and attracted to her as well (but in a casual way), but knows she has a lot to learn about how this place works and tries to be a good supporting team member to her, but not to the point where he lets her run amok. He tries to justify his ways to her, but is also willing to let her try her own things in the off case it does pay off; but always has a Plan B in his back pocket, because he knows things don’t work out as expected around here. I like his quiet confidence and integrity, but that he’s also willing to not mince words and/or throw hands if and when absolutely required. Not very realistic of a doctor, but eh, this is Tellywood. Chalta hai.

Ishani: Thankfully, Ishani has mellowed down quite a bit and isn’t as intolerable as she was in the first week. She’s quickly learning that things at Sanjivani are not as they appear and that her initial judgement of Sid was way too hasty/harsh, and has formed a delicate alliance with him. Not to say that she isn’t a stickler for rules anymore, or approves of his on-the-fly, jugaadu/sometimes outright wily ways to skirt around the rules, but she’s trying her best to maintain a balance; in how she tries to help the people who need it, in the most forthright manner. But she’s definitely more comfortable being flexible with “the rules” than she realizes. Her germophobia prevents her from getting comfortable with Sid’s physical proximity whenever he tries to comfort her/express thanks, but I think she appreciates the sentiment.

Shashank: God, I’m so grateful he’s still here. He’s kind of out of sorts due to the surgery, but he’s still very aware and involved in what’s going on in Sanjivani. His gentle battle with Anjali persists, with the latest episode making him give some leeway to her, quite unwillingly though.

Juhi: Beyond Shashank’s surgery, she didn’t really make much of an impression on me in these 2 weeks. She takes the COS job in a spur-of-the-moment decision, purely in an emergency situation, than really actually wanting it. She does a good enough job, stern and smart with the rioting mob/Vardhan, and compassionate and understanding with Ishani, but I do anticipate lots of trouble coming her way in the position. Especially with Rahul lurking mysteriously in the shadows, in cahoots with Vardhan.

Anjali: NOT ENOUGH ANJALI AS I WANT!!!!!! All we do see Anjali doing is either be hysterical during surgery, or sulking over not getting the COS post. For godssake, she’s an HOD, a competent doctor in her own right, can we see her at work too? I want to see her be the kickass boss bitch I know she is; maybe taking a few of these many million juniors under her wing and mentoring them? (She seems to have a good relationship with Sid, it would be nice to see that extend to some others too?) There was one good scene between Shashank and her where they peacefully discuss their issues at the end of this week, but I really need Anjali to DO more than just be standing around feeling bad for herself/manipulated by Vardhan/sniping at Juhi/being passive-aggressive at Shashank. I like that she was upfront enough with Juhi about not liking her, but I don’t like how they’re centering her whole character around just that. You’ve already done this character dirty in one iteration (DMG), please do not waste this chance to showcase the complex personality she is!

Vardhan: A kinda compelling asshole. He has a son that he keeps talking to on the phone, whom seems to dote on and wants to make the best impression on. But harkatein kaafi kameeni. But I also feel marginally sympathetic to him, because he’s trying his best to keep Sanjivani afloat financially. Drs. Shashank and Juhi’s bleeding-heart ways are admirable and all, but the ground realities of running an organization are quite different; and Vardhan is answerable to multiple people above him about it. So yeah I do hate him when he’s doing pettyass evil shit like booting a poor person off a donor list, but in some cases - esp. PR/admin/financial issues, I can see where he’s coming from. I just wish they’d stop making him so caricatureish in his villainy at times and kept him a slick evil, like most corporate types are.

Rishabh: Asshole Jr., but not at all compelling or complex like Vardhan. Just an outright classist asshole, looking to suck up to Vardhan and other richie-rich fuckers and get Sid in trouble. He’s the most annoying part of the show, honestly, constantly lurking around with his phone and filming Sid. Jeez, get a damn life, loser.

Rahil: So sweet and unproblematic, why don’t we see him more (instead of the irritating Rishabh)????? GIVE US MORE RAHIL!!!!!!!

Asha & Aman: They might as well have made them twins, coz they’re so alike (even have matchy-matchy names!) I despise when they unthinkingly run their mouths and blurt out whatever the hell they’re thinking, even to waaaay senior doctors like Juhi and Shashank. Their no-filter admonishments are quite welcome in the case of Ishani though, where they drill some sense into her head. Ultimately, they do have their hearts in the right place and are sincere doctors (if not the most knowledgeable), and I enjoy them in limited amounts; like in the scene where they’re watching Sid and Ishani brawling over the liver.

Asha: Tu idhar mitti ka dher bana khada hai, inki fight rok na??? Aman [watching Sid and Ishani literally bucking at each other while holding an icebox with a liver inside it]: Abbe pagal ho gayi hai ke, baukhlaaye hue saand se ho rakhe hain. Dulatti nahi khaani maine inki!

Neil: Like Rahil, he seems to be sweet and unproblematic, but I get the feeling that he suffers from some kinda health issue? He fainted at the first case out in the field (the bomb blast), Aman mentions he fainted again seeing a corpse that could donate a liver, and he seemed very out of breath when he came to inform Sid/Ishani about another liver donor. I find it hard to believe that a first year resident could be this squeamish about things you get used to by the end of med school, so I really think there’s something else going on here. Is he going to be the Dr. Omi equivalent (the tragically ill character) of this season? I would like to see more of him (than the other jr. residents), because the actor is very measured and likable.

Rahul: We haven’t SEEN him yet, but we have heard him and what we’ve heard......... Does not bode well. I haven’t seen Sanjivani 1, so I don’t know the character as such, but wasn’t he the lead? They’re bringing him back but as an antagonist? Seems quite out-of-character, but I am veryyyyyyyy intrigued about this development, and especially how Juhi fits into all of this.

Overall Rating: 3.5/5

[7-wonders]

As Above, So Below Ch. 10

Summary: Your average, mundane life as a college student is flipped upside down when the man you thought you knew as your next-door neighbor turns out to be the God of the dead. When Michael lures you down to Hell, everything that you thought you knew about the world is proven wrong.

Word Count: 3776

A/N: I really don’t know how I feel about this chapter. Let me know if you have any feedback (good or bad, all is appreciated). My inbox is always open for a chat!

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10: A Soft Place to Land | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12

The Earth is a smoldering wasteland.

The sky above you is painted a sickening red, and the air is both hot and cold at the same time. Smoke rises from the ground while sirens wail in the distance, and glowing eyes watch you through what you hope is a mirage. Your bare feet make imprints in the gray dirt as you walk through the skeleton of what used to be a house. You’re not quite sure what you’re walking towards, but a pull in your chest leads you to an unknown destination.

The ceiling’s caved in, and water pools in spots on the floor. Wood paneling hangs by a single nail in some spots, swinging dangerously above your head.

“Hello?” You call out, coughing at the soot that invades your lungs. Your skin is covered in streaks of ash, and whatever outfit you were wearing hangs off of you in tatters. The tugging in your chest continues to lead you through the old house, and it’s only when you’re standing above a set of decrepit stairs that you realize where you are.

The Murder House.

It’s especially peculiar that you’re here now, considering your last memories involve being in Hell. You’re not even sure how you got back Above, or how the world came to be this way. You’re careful to descend the stairs, which creak and groan as you walk on the moisture-soaked wood. You crinkle your nose at the acrid scent of brimstone, reminding you of the last time you walked down these stairs.

The lines between the Underground and Above had blurred considerably; the second your foot lands on the floor of the basement, you’re standing in the throne room of Hell. When you turn around, you can still see the steps that you just came down on. There’s no ceiling, the same blood-red sky providing a backdrop for the large room. The throne, which was once made of obsidian, is now crafted from human bones. Skulls stare at you from the armrests, their jaws forever opened in silent screams. Ravens circle overhead, calling out to each other as they look down upon those below them.

An unfamiliar figure sits on the throne of bones. His white face is marred with cracks, making the skin look even more like porcelain than it already does. His hair blows from the force of an unseen wind, and his pitch-black eyes seem to be looking through you. The being who you know as Satan stands behind the throne, and it’s only when the pale man’s cackles reach your ears that you realize this is Michael. His hands are red and dripping with blood, and you walk closer to try and see where it’s coming from.

“Michael?” You ask, but he doesn’t hear you. You’re close enough to touch him, but stop when your foot hits something solid. When you look down, it takes a moment for your eyes to process what you’ve run into, and you can’t help but scream when you do.

Your corpse lays on its back on the floor, glassy eyes staring up above. Blood dribbles out of boths sides of the corpse’s mouth, and dried blood cakes the skin below the nose. The fatal wound appears to be from ‘your’ chest, a giant hole punching through the skin and ribs. Your own chest has the same wound, ribs cracked and muscles and tendons hanging from your empty chest cavity. Suddenly, you’re entirely aware of the blood dripping down your face, giving you matching injuries to your mottled body below you. When you look up, you see your heart in Michael’s hand, watching in horror as he bites out of it like it’s an apple.

You jolt up, chest heaving and head spinning. You’re sitting in a bed instead of standing at Michael’s throne, and you pat your chest for reassurement that your heart is still where it’s supposed to be. You jump at the feeling of hands on your shoulders, watching with wide eyes as Michael stares at you.

“Hey, are you okay? You were thrashing around in your sleep.” You collect yourself, beads of sweat pooling on the exposed part of your chest that your dress doesn’t cover.

“Yeah, just a nightmare.” He looks confused, and you realize that gods must not dream, and therefore not know how bad nightmares can be, on the rare occasion that they do sleep. “It was really realistic.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” He asks, rubbing your shoulder comfortingly. You hesitate, but in the time it takes you to decide on an answer your vivid imagination has already beamed the nightmare right into Michael’s mind. His face falls at what he sees, the pale demon that he morphed into eating your heart as you could do nothing but watch.

“Michael, it was just a bad dream.”

“You know I wouldn’t kill you, right? I can’t even bare the thought of that.” He says sincerely, looking into your eyes.

“I know that!” You’re almost hurt that he believes you’re legitimately scared of him. “Seriously, I know. I wasn’t even scared of you when you dragged me down here and let me starve for three days.”

He smiles then, and you know your reassuring words have done the trick. “I stopped believing you were scared of me when you punched me.”

You smirk at him, wincing at the soreness in your body when you move to stand. You feel like you’re hungover, even though you drank no alcohol last night.

“Where are you going?” Michael asks.

“I’m gonna go get changed out of this dress and get into some clothes that I actually want to wear.” You fish your shoes off of the ground, but decide to hold them instead of actually bothering to put them on.

“(Y/N).” Michael calls out, and your hand stalls on the door handle as you look back at him. His long hair is tangled, and he’s still wearing the same ruined clothes from last night, but he looks just as beautiful as always.  

“Yeah?”

“Thank you, for listening to me last night. I cannot stress how grateful I am that you put aside your stubbornness for that one moment.”

“You’re welcome, Michael. Thanks for not dying last night.” You smile at him before opening the door and making your way back to your own room.

Where do you stand with Michael? You ponder this question on the walk towards your room. You’re obviously not enemies, but after the past couple of days the two of you have to be more than friends. Do you like Michael? Of course you do. But do you like him enough to stand by his side as the Queen of the Underworld?

Would the threats on your life continue? You’re mortal, and no matter what choice you make you will grow old and die. Will the apocalypse still happen if you die of natural causes? There’s too many questions running through your mind and your head, which never stopped spinning after you woke up suddenly, is throbbing.

You’re happy to see that there’s nobody in your room for once during your stay here. You grab some random clothes from your dresser, assuming that Madison will help you if you don’t end up wearing clothes that match. The remnants of last night’s makeup don’t put up much of a fight when you take a wash rag to your face, and you look closely in the mirror to check that your face is completely bare. Your reflection stuns you for a moment.

Even though your hunger strike was weeks ago, your face looks gaunter than it did directly after your first meal with Michael. The circles under your eyes are purple and pronounced, and you just look tired. You feel tired too, if you’re being completely honest with yourself. You’ve felt like you were getting sick for the past week or so but have been fighting it off, only for it to be hitting you like a truck today. You didn’t know that people could get sick down here, but it sort of makes sense that viruses and illnesses thrive in the land of the dead.

“(Y/N)?” You jump, the hairbrush clattering to the countertop. You catch Desa’s eyes through the bathroom mirror, the young woman looking just as startled as you. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to frighten you.”

“You’re fine, it’s my own fault for not watching my surroundings.” You say, smiling at her. “Did you need something?”

She recovers quickly, moving to stand behind you. She takes the brush from the counter, and you welcome her expert touch as she starts to untangle your hair. “Master was wondering if you would like to join him for judgements today, see how some official business works?”

“Am I allowed to do that? Right now I’m just ‘Lady (Y/N).’”

“What King Hades says, goes.” You giggle, turning around and taking Desa’s hands in yours.

“You have been so wonderful to me during my time here, I just wanted to say thank you.” You’re not sure why you’re feeling so emotional right now, but tears prick at the corners of your eyes.

“Thank you for treating me like your equal, and for making King Hades into a better person.”

“Was he cruel?” You ask.

“Very much so. He only cared about inflicting punishment upon those he believed ‘deserved’ it. This palace was a dark place, literally and figuratively. And then you came along, and things changed. He started...thanking the staff, being kinder with his punishments and, of course, pining after you. Personally, I think that he was just lonely and didn’t know how to handle his emotions.”

You snort, but are concerned at the same time. How bad were things before you arrived? It’s not difficult for you to believe, but you find yourself not wanting to believe it at the same time. “Why does that not surprise me? However, I’m glad that my being here has changed his mood for the better.”

Desa’s hands come to a stop, and she lays the brush back down once she’s deemed your hair to be untangled. “Master cares about you. I fear that your potential leaving would break him.”

You’re stunned at the handmaiden’s admission. You’ve had your worries about the same thing; would this man, who’s so convinced that you are meant to be here and has changed his entire worldview time and time again for you, be able to survive the pain of you leaving?

“I...I need to do what’s best for me, Desa. I know that Michael will be upset, but I miss my home.”

“Is this not your home as well? I heard your conversation with Lady Hecate the other day. It’s okay to have multiple homes.” She’s right, but you hate that she is.

“Just because I’ve kissed Michael a couple of times and have friends here doesn’t make it my home.” You clench your eyes shut, the lights exacerbating your headache. The woman knows she’s upset you, and she places a hand on your shoulder.

“I’m sorry, you’re right. Shall I take you to King Hades now?” You rub your eyes before nodding and standing. You’re cold, yet you can feel the sweat beading on your brow.

You know the way to the throne room by heart now, the twists and turns of each corridor programmed into your mind. Although you attempt to use telekinesis to open the large doors, your arms wobble with the strain and you quickly give up. Desa looks at you in concern, but keeps quiet and opens the doors for you.

Michael immediately brightens up when he sees you, standing up and making his way down the marble steps towards you. An onyx crown with blood-red rubies adorns his head, the same rubies fastening his cloak around his shoulders. His beautiful rings, each a different size and shape, decorate his long fingers. The court of demons that surround him part easily, all too afraid to get in their king’s way. You smile, grateful for the hand he holds out in your direction as he leads you up to his throne. You look at him in confusion, silently asking where you’re supposed to be.

“Once you agree to take your place as my queen, then you can have a throne of your own.” Michael teases, a delicate smile on his face. “Of course, you could always sit on my lap today if you don’t want to stand.”

“I’ll stand, thank you very much.” Michael’s smile dims and he rolls his eyes, although you know he was expecting you to answer this way. “So what goes into these judgements?”

“There’s different ‘levels’ of the Underworld; Tartarus, the Asphodel Meadows, the Mourning Fields, and Elysium.”

“No Dante’s Inferno?” You ask, leaning against the cool backing of Michael’s throne.

“That would actually be Tartarus. It’s split into nine different circles. Then you have the Asphodel Meadows, which is where mortals who lived unremarkable lives go. Those who spent their lives pining after an unrequited love are sent to the Mourning Fields, and Elysium is for the especially distinguished.” Michael explains.

Before you can ask your next question, another door opens on the other side of the throne rom. A large boat journeys across the floor, plumes of smoke serving as the river. The man ferrying the boat is appallingly disgusting, and you have to breathe through your mouth to avoid the pungent smell of death that emanates off of him. His cloak is ripped and dirty, and his bushy beard hasn’t been combed for years. His eyes look like they’re made of fire itself, and you flinch when he makes eye contact with you for a brief moment.

“Charon.” Michael greets as the souls are ushered off of the boat. There’s so many of them, all different ages, genders, races, and religions. The man atop the boat gives a curt nod to his ruler, before turning the boat around and rowing back out the way he came. The demons that stand throughout the room hiss and growl at the souls standing in front of Michael, and you get the feeling that they get to do whatever they want to those who end up going to one of Tartarus’ circles.

Michael studies the crowd for a long moment, as if he’s seeing something that you can’t. He is, you realize as you remember his gift of being able to see everything about a person. They’re silent, all huddled together as they try to make sense of what’s going on. You wonder if they even know that they’re dead, or where they are.

“What do you see?” He asks, looking back towards you.

“I see...people.” You shrug, not sure what answer he wants from you.

“We’ll start out with an easy one. Take my hand.” It feels familiar by now, whenever you grip his large hand. At first you think it’s just an excuse for him to hold hands with you, but you gasp after you blink.

The auras that you’ve heard so much about are all on display for you. Not only can you see them, but you can also feel what each color means. Yellows, blues, oranges, reds, and greens all mix together to form a rainbow above the heads of those crowded into the throne room.

“Can you see them?” Michael asks lowly, and you nod breathlessly. You’re absolutely enraptured by what you’re seeing, and if it wasn’t for Michael grounding you, you wouldn’t be able to look away. “I want you to focus on the person with the light blue aura. Do you know who I’m talking about?”

The person in question is a man in his mid-40s. He looks confused, but at the same time he’s trying to help comfort others who aren’t handling the current situation as well as he is.

“What do I need to do?”

“Just concentrate. Zero in on him, and soon his life should play before your eyes like you’re watching a movie.”

You stare at the man intensely, until the tunnel-vision makes it so you can only see him and his aura. Your hand burns, most likely from the power you’re tapping into through Michael. A picture flickers before your eyes before fading away, and you squint and focus harder. The picture appears again, vividly now, and you watch the man’s life from beginning to end. He was a family man, an EMT who loved going to schools and doing demonstrations for kids. In the end, an aneurysm sent him to his untimely death.

“Asphodel Meadows.” Your voice speaks before your mind has comprehended it. Michael looks proudly at you, nodding.

“Very good! Mephistopheles,” He calls, and a demon with large black wings appears. “You’ll take our chosen guests to the Asphodel Meadows.” The demon nods, and beckons the man towards him.

Michael continues on with the judgements, which you choose to watch instead of help conduct. You haven’t let go of Michael’s hand, and although you can see the auras, you’re not focusing enough to experience their lives. It passes quickly, Michael looking bored at what must be monotonous work for him. Finally, the demons lead off the groups of people to their designated afterlives, leaving you and Michael alone in the throne room. You’re tired, extremely so, and you’re not sure if it’s because you over-exerted yourself with using Michael’s magic or if it’s from whatever bug you’re trying to fight off.

“You did wonderful, (Y/N). Your powers are expanding immensely.” He lets go of your hand to stand from his throne, and it’s only after he does that you realize the burning sensation you had been feeling on your palm was from him.

Your hand is physically burnt, the skin red and blistering where Michael had gripped it. Studying the damage, you hide your hand from Michael when he turns around to see what you’re doing.

“Why are you standing like that?” Michael, ever the perceptive man, questions.

“Maybe I felt like mocking the way that you stand.” You retort, calling him out on the stance he often assumes whenever he stands in one spot.

“(Y/N).” He chides, obviously not impressed. You roll your eyes, but hold your hand out anyways.

Michael’s eyes widen at the sight of your injured hand, hesitantly grasping your arm where your sleeve covers it so as not to accidentally burn you.

“Is it because you were letting me use some of your magic?” You ask.

“I’m...honestly not sure. This hasn’t happened before when I’ve held your hand, right?”

“No. Sometimes my hand gets warm, but I always assumed that it was because I was holding the Lord of the Underworld’s hand.” You attempt to insert a little humor into this situation, hoping to make Michael smile. Instead, he looks completely stumped. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t a little confused too, but out of all of the things you’ve experienced in Hell, this is pretty tame.

“Hmm.” Michael trails off, biting his bottom lip in concentration. You wait for him to speak again, but the longer he thinks, the more the room starts spinning around you.

“Michael,” You call, bringing his eyes back to you. “Can you let go of my arm please?” You smile reassuringly, and he chuckles slightly before obliging. You start to walk down the steps, fully intending on taking a nap before doing some research.

“Where are you going? Don’t you want to figure out why your hand burnt?” You wave him off, focusing on putting one foot in front of the other so that you don’t trip over the ground.

“I’m just tired, I’m gonna get some rest.” Michael says something to you, but you can’t hear it over the ringing in your ears.

The piercing sound and bright lights combined with your dizziness have you crashing to your shaking knees. Michael’s beside you almost immediately, and you vaguely wonder if he sprinted or transmutated the short distance. His strong arms wrap around you, holding you up against his chest.

“Why did you collapse?” He asks, and you’re taken aback at the fear in his eyes.

“Just got really dizzy. I’ve been fighting something for the past week or so, guess it finally caught up to me. I didn’t even know you could get sick in the Underworld.” You mutter, smiling up at the blond man.

He’s silent, eyes searching your face for some answer you’re not aware he’s looking for.

“You can’t get sick in the Underworld.” He places the back of his hand against your forehead, and you let out a quiet groan at the coolness it provides you. “You’re burning up, (Y/N).”

You shouldn’t laugh, seeing as how this is turning into a severe situation, but you snicker anyways. “I’m in Hell and I’m burning up.”

Michael’s brows furrow, and he slides an arm under your legs so he can lift you up. “C’mon, let’s get you to your bed. You can rest while I talk to Madison; she’ll know what’s going on.”

“No, I can walk!” You start to protest, but bury your face in Michael’s shirt when the room decides to tilt. He smells really nice, actually; a mix of smoke, vanilla, and something woodsy.

“No.” He says sharply, ending the argument before it can even start. You don’t look up from his shirt again, but you can still feel his piercing eyes on you as he carries you towards your room.

You sink right into the mattress, grateful to finally not be moving or have the room spinning around you. Michael pulls the covers up around you, and you don’t even realize that your teeth are chattering until he runs a hand over your quaking jaw.

“I’m going to go find Madison, okay? We’ll figure out why you’re so sick suddenly, and then she’ll make you one of her potions. You’ll be okay.” He sounds like he’s trying to convince himself of this, which is mildly freaking you out. With a kiss on your forehead, he’s already halfway across the room, obviously on a mission.

“Michael?” You call out. He looks back at you with a smile that doesn’t reach his eyes.

“Yes, darling?”

“Am I going to die?” You don’t want to even consider this as a possibility, but with how frazzled and scared Michael’s been, it seems that’s what’s on his mind too. His jaw sets, and he shakes his head.

“Not if I have anything to do with it.” And he’s gone, leaving you alone with your worries.

Tag List: @nana15774 @sammythankyou @queencocoakimmie @let-me-try-mom @trimbooohgodplsnoooo @lichellaw @sebastianshoe @pastel-cloudz @ultragibbycentralworld @grim-adventures58 @dandycandy75 @alexcornerblog @dolceandchalamet @everything-is-awesomesauce @langdonslove @ccodyfern @henrycavillstalkingmustache @readsalot73 @jimmlangdon @sloppy-little-witch-bitch26 @hplotrfan @omg-hellgirl @gallxntdean @storminmytwistedmind

[fatebreaking-a]

☀️

I like how this is literally indecipherable on desktop, so I had to go onto my phone (where it was still indecipherable) and then open it in safari to figure out which one this was.

☀ What’s your rp pet peeve?

It’s this one and not the other one right above it that also looks like a sun.

Emoticons, man.

Well, that was fun and all but- rp pet peeves. Stuff under the cut. Pour one out for the entire community, because I’m about to take a pound of flesh from everyone.

There’s a lot of stuff in here that boils down to just being a good writing partner and all that, trying to advance the action in a natural way, and so on… and I think a lot of it can boil down to either a lack of awareness or a lack of experience. People get better at writing by writing, so I find it hard to really be frustrated and stay frustrated by someone who falls into some of these pitfalls. So you’ll notice I don’t really target things that have to do with writing skill as much as I target ‘attitude’ and ‘conscientiousness’. There is a lot that bothers me though, so here’s a short list.

Criticizing the way other people have fun. This is a big one. What this boils down to is conversations about how “this ship isn’t realistic” or “your ideals on writing are dumb” or “you take writing too seriously/not seriously enough.” I’ve seen all of these. And I used to know someone on a forum-based RP site that would actively go out of her way to criticize that people would include a lot of introspection in scenes that were fast paced. For instance, using poetic language, or talking about how they’re feeling, what the situation was, “he felt like he was up against the tide, that his heart was being torn in two, a cut made deeper with every clash of their blades” - stuff like that. She hated it. And she made sure everyone knew that she did not approve of how much they were writing, because it was ‘not realistic’. And yes, there is definite merit to the claim that people do not have time to introspect about their entire lives and their relationship to their allies and enemies between sword swings... But so what. I don’t think it’s wrong to advocate for shorter, simpler posts with less descriptive text, and to manage in 200 words instead of 600. That’s great. Simplicity has value, being concise is great, ‘brevity is the soul of wit’, whatever. But the problem, the problem was that she would criticize others for writing in a way that they enjoyed. No one got on her case for writing less, but she was so grating on this point that eventually people just did not want to be around her.

It was something I’ve experienced even here. Finding the balance between “writing to improve your ability to write” and “writing just to have fun” are two separate matters. People forget that individuals exist from both camps, and I have known people (multiple) who say ‘this is important to me, I’m growing my skills using RP as a medium’ but fail to empathize and recognize that not everyone has the same viewpoint. Caring about things that make you feel something over technically good and well executed writing does not make you a problem.

And as a big follow up, I find that this is a big issue in life in general. I think that people often forget how much time it took them to learn a certain thing, recognize their own investment, or recognize the disparity between their own idea of ‘common knowledge’ vs actually common knowledge. When I joined the community, I did not know what private, selective, independent, mun, muse, or mutuals meant. For someone who’s brand new, these are terms that can be hard to decipher. And it’s the similar with ships - I think that people forget that not everyone who comes to RP is from a writing background. Some of them may just have enjoyed reading fanfiction, or may have enjoyed their favorite bot lane duo, or they have a main and their partner has a main and they like the aesthetic. So long as it’s not inherently problematic (incest, pedophilia), it’s cruel to degrade someone and call everything that doesn’t make perfect sense a ‘crackship’. Fanart also has a big role to play in this. Do I personally like Sona with Ka/yn, Yas, Sy/las, Jh/in, or Dra/ven? No, I don’t. I don’t, but equally, it’s not right for me to get in someone’s face for liking it. If you love MF/Sona because it’s a fuckin’ sick classic wombo combo bot lane... that’s cool, more power to you. I wish people would ease up and remember to just let people have their fun. There’s a Jh/in that follows me, who politely asked if I shipped it and I said no, and then there was no hard feelings at all. And that is ideal for me. Really.

T h e f t.

And being ultra conscious of it. I am in a very unfortunate circumstance that many of my Sona hcs are very similar to another blog in the space. I found that out by accident, and we reached similar (but also different!) conclusions. But now I am terribly terrified of ever speaking to them, because gods above I want to lift all my duplicates into the air, kiss them, and scream about them... but I don’t want anyone to feel anxious that I’m copying them. It’s also why until about a week ago, I only followed one other Sona blog ever - written by one of my very, very close friends. I never want people to feel like I’m stealing from them, but I also want my duplicates to feel comfortable on my blog! I want them to feel okay about reblogging art of their characters if they like it or talking to me about things... And I’ve put in a lot of effort to be very divergent with my portrayals, but I still ended up in this situation. I won’t name names ( and I really hope that no one bothers that other Sona, because she’s a genuine sweetheart and deserves love and appreciation ),  b ut... This is a big issue for me.

And it’s exacerbated by the fact that some people are lazy as fuck and actually just straight up steal ideas. It’s not ‘inspired by’, which I usually take care to do, giving proper credits or speaking about where I got information from or from whom or that it is on some level almost collaborative (because this is a collaborative space where we interact with each other, but that’s another topic). But I mean some people just recklessly steal and because we all have anxiety (TM), the line between coincidence, inspiration, and theft blurs. Understand that on some level, plagarism is an ethical dilemma, and I exist in the camp that says “hey man that’s cool come talk to me” - but I can exist in that camp because I insist on a very divergent interpretation that is almost ‘theft-proof’. I do not think any other Sona blog will ever have this combination of headcanons: “is a construct inspired by a house spirit, made up of one part crashed titan goddess, three parts demons, and each demon is represented by one of the strings of the instrument, which by the way shattered because bad reasons”. But if you’re not me, it’s hard to... stay loose about it.

And it’s hard to not get jealous.

BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE. Alright I wrote down a list when I actually got this ask, so let’s run off that. ( Yuki, you fuck, you’re not done? Fuck no I’m not done. ) These next ones are big for me.

MISREPRESENTING YOUR WANTS / YOURSELF

what does that mean, you ask me. It means this. It means pretending to be interested in ideas or interactions, even if you’re not interested. I do not ever want to be in the situation where I am happily chugging along, talking about a dynamic, and then find out that the other person isn’t as interested.

It’s fine to be mellow about it dude. I would rather know that you’re like... just okay on it all. I don’t want you to be polite and ‘spare my feelings’ and force yourself.

I want you to have fun. Have fun. God just have fun, you know? Please. There are a ton of interactions I’m “just okay” with, and I don’t think that’s a bad thing. I can be just okay with stuff and it’s fine. Not everything needs to click instantly but like...

Only showing interest to appeal to me or spare my feelings kinda sucks. It doesn’t last forever. It feels really bad. And eventually when things fall apart, it feels even worse. Like oh you really just did not care that much. Or you didn’t enjoy writing with me? Or what is it? See: jealousy/anxiety. Just be honest.

I think you especially have seen this with me, but I have a penchant for just being sincere and honest about how I feel about things. At least a little bit.

Don’t share things people tell you in confidence.

Fucking duh but it needs to be stated. Sometimes people gotta vent. It happens. And I get that ‘talking behind someone’s back’ is not great, but expressing frustration is a real thing that has real value. And then finding out that those things were shared. If I didn’t bring it up with them myself, I didn’t want them to know. Duh. I’m not talking to be catty but because I’m upset. S h i t. Some of the drama that I’ve seen happen from others doing this (and not to me, but in various cases) was entirely unavoidable. I’ve seen so many variants of this. It’s dumb dude. It’s dumb.

Hard vs Soft statements (Stating opinions as facts)

This is another one that gets me. I come from a world where we write, ‘Sona tries to’ and so on to others. Tumblr as a whole doesn’t seem to conceptually engage with the idea of ‘interrupting actions’ and accepting that interactions are a little malleable. And it in turn reflects how others speak about characters.

I never see, “I think Sona is”, I see “Sona is.” This is such a minor little thing, and I’ve come to accept that it’s part of the culture, but it can be terribly frustrating when others speak about your characters. I often say things like “I see Sona as” or “Because of xyz, Ori/anna would probably-” etc. But that isn’t something that I see here from some people. I know that I do this a lot less these days, in part because I have acclimated to the culture.

Incidentally, there are some joke versions of this that are also frustrating. People can really think they’re being funny, but end up just shutting you out of the conversation entirely when they say ‘No’. I might be a little too sensitive to this though, in that I often disengage from conversations because “it’s not really about my interpretation, so it’s better if I not say anything because it’s not relevant and doesn’t contribute.”

Really, I’m just a weenie baby, but I know when someone’s being rude vs when it’s just my own anxieties. I don’t expect everyone to have unshakable confidence, I also don’t expect that everyone be quivering in their boots. Some people can be really, really dismissive and it’s kind of not so great because it comes along with them otherwise being pretty neat.

Last one: Misrepresentation of data / using a ‘preponderance of evidence’ when there really isn’t that much.

How do I even put this.

CONJECTURE IS NOT FACT.

CONJECTURE IS NOT FACT.

CONJECTURE IS NOT FACT.

Phew. Okay that’s done. That right there is a big problem (and in combination with the pet peeve before that, it gets worse.)

Something to understand is that sometimes there is no good reason to pipe up to correct someone. Often, people are having a visceral, gut reaction and it’s very emotional. Criticizing that ignores the intent (that they’re frustrated), so it’s often a good idea to let it be.

But that doesn’t stop me from seeing that facts are poorly stated or misrepresented. The community likes to talk about league so I see it in OOC posts, and I also see claims that are just wrong. They’re misstated, exaggerated, or phrased in such a way that you could accept them - except one fact check will prove otherwise. But again, why get in someone’s face when they’re frustrated?

But this leads to some people feeling ‘complicit acceptance’. Which is in itself another problem that I won’t get into.

I as a person tend to be pretty rigorous. If I see facts and I can check them with a quick google search, I often do - especially League. It’s so easy to check a champion’s win rate or popularity. Other people do not always exercise this rigor.

“Alright fuckface but that’s talking about league and not rp.”

Yeah okay you make a fair and valid point, except for the part where you missed bullet points 2-4. I’m more talking about the general attitude people have but let’s talk specifically more about RP.

There’s content. A lot of content. And most of it is really vague, because that’s how R I O T G A M E S does things. We still can’t get a straight answer on whether Sona’s adopted mom, Lestara, is alive or not. H u h?

And this often leads to us making connections and conclusions based on the limited data we have. We’re extrapolating, taking what we know and trying to figure out something new.

Except when we get a new data set, sometimes our extrapolations don’t work anymore.

Except we just spent three months world building around our guesses ( because that’s what they are)

Oops I’m divergent now.

That happens. A lot. My entire blog was evidence of that, where I made extreme guesses and then accidentally got validated as Demacia went full grimdark. But it even happened last year, when suddenly we gained new information! Mage registration! That’s a thing! And it changes how we perceive things.

And you may be thinking, ‘ok fine but what does that have to do with misrepresentation’ and it has this to do with it. People will make conclusions based on their own view, then solidify these conclusions as ‘fact’.

For example, I wrote a small article on how “magical sight was not a reasonable power to have” and then soon after, Mageseekers appeared. Oops. Oops.

And these extrapolations get treated as though they are really fact. The line between what is ‘real’ and what is ‘assumed’ blurs. The truth is this. Unless it’s directly and unambiguously stated, it’s basically not fact. “But we can conclude-” I know. And then we’ll get new information and that’ll change. Ideas in this fandom are like balloons, you need to tie them down with text evidence or they’ll just float away before you even know it. I can talk about how Sona is a literal genius level intellect all day, and tomorrow I can be proven wrong by one little shift or clarification in the lore. ‘Within months’ - okay how many months? Fifteen months? Three months? Unknown.

And this leads me to preponderance of ‘evidence’. This one is long because it bothers me a bunch.

‘Preponderance of evidence’ (quotes required) is basically the situation in which someone goes and tells me:

“Listen buddy, I have these seven pieces of evidence, so I can reasonably conclude that [x] is true.” And that’s solid conjecture and extrapolation and I accept that.

Except that maybe you seven pieces of evidence aren’t all solid pieces of evidence.

Oh.

Oh no.

And that’s happened. I have seen evidence pieces one, two, four, and six all be good. And pieces three, five, and seven are a stretch at best.

But because they have so many pieces of evidence, it’s hard to critique back. Because they still do have four good pieces of evidence!

But the strength of the conclusion increases with more accurate and valid data points, and if your data points aren’t-

And that’s the rub, basically. Sometimes I see people fit evidence to their conclusion without even realizing it. Some of the most intelligent, rigorous, and well-versed writers on this site I’ve seen do it.

And it sucks.

And it’s a peeve because here’s  the truth.

The truth after all this talk is this very important fact.

I don’t say anything about these things to people because I don’t want to ruin anyone’s fun or engagement.

People make mistakes and say many things because they are passionate about what they’re talking about. Often that’s the case. And harmless conjecture misunderstandings are not the end of the world because this is not academia.

except that one time I wrote a writeup on how Aphe/lios isn’t mute but whatever.

And so while I have said all these things and have a lot of these feelings, I also think there’s no point to saying most of them directly to the person that bugs me. What good will it do? To someone who is reacting with their emotions and just wants to get their frustration out, or is speaking passionately about something... Just let it go.

And so often I let it go, even if I disagree. I have an opinion, but I don’t go out and toss it back in your face. I just get mad quietly and grump about it.

And that’s why I end up being a very ‘stay in my lane’ person.

The end.

If you read all the way through this, I’ll give you a cookie tbh. Many cookies. This is almost 3000 words and 7 pages.

[finelythreadedsky]

semi-coherent hadestown thoughts

ok the come home with me/wedding song and epic ii/chant sequences are SO GOOD!!! you can really hear the song in progress and how it is very much not finished, you can hear orpheus working through his creative process and trying to figure it out. and it’s so reflective of how the epics have worked out too! we’ve seen so many different versions of them as anais mitchell has worked through HER creative process to get to this point and i love that meta view into artistic production

(i’ve decided that it’s better to suspend disbelief and assume that the section before way down hadestown takes place over a longer period of time-- a whole summer, since we see persephone leaving for the end of summer then, and she’s with hades during road to hell, so that could be the previous winter. oh and that makes the show take a full year which is cool and brings it around in a cycle.)

reeve carney’s orpheus is so very EARNEST!!! so tentative but so sweet and sincere. that took a lot of getting used to for me but it makes for such lovely character dynamics and seems so realistic in a way that actively works against trying to see orpheus as an archetypal figure-- he’s just one man. and it does so well with setting up doubt comes in because he’s always been a little unsure of himself

and eva noblezada’s eurydice-- spunky, scruffy, scrappy, and such a different person than orpheus. it somehow fits in a sort of opposites attract way that is the complete reverse of the dynamics the characters used to have: eurydice is the confident one who knows how the world works, orpheus is the one who’s unsure of who he is in relation to her and the world. just thinking about the vast difference between eva’s voice and characterization and anais’s on the concept album... wow eurydice’s come so far in so many different incarnations

i’m still not over how eurydice genuinely believes in orpheus and his ability to sing the spring back again. it takes so much vulnerability from her and at nytw eurydice really wasn’t all the way there but she really does believe in him and the power of song. despite how unfinished his song is every time she hears it she sees what it could do and what the world could be even when orpheus isn’t sure

i’m also really grateful that persephone’s apparent/potential alcoholism is something that’s not taken lightly in the script. the role of alcohol as a part of her character has grown a lot with every iteration and it’s acknowledged as an unhealthy way she tries to cope with who she and hades have become (i am kind of disappointed that the amazing imagery of our lady of the underground isn’t really translatable to the stage because i love persephone as a speakeasy owner selling the workers illegal bits of sunshine and summertime and mortal life and i kind of wish that could have been depicted literally)

oh and i lOVE the way way down hadestown reprise explains the lyrics of flowers, which i’ve always loved but thought didn’t really fit with the whole stage show (still interpreting “i trembled when he laid me out” as about orpheus burying her though. there was so much potential for weird staging there to parallel all i’ve even known!!! but glad they didn’t take that route, it would’ve distracted from eva)

i maintain that the first half of the original if its true could have been included as a leadup to the current version. that would have been so beautiful and shown us orpheus turning outward from internal grief and despair to collective outrage and action, but i guess it would have made the song pretty long. i think it an extended version would have made such a cool climax for the second act, but it probably would have also stolen the thunder from epic iii a little.

rip persephone’s verse in chant reprise, but i get that the intention was to have persephone be struck by orpheus’s song in epic iii just as much as hades so she can’t seem to be affected or reminiscing about how things used to be before that

i still love the original epic ii and iii lyrics (gorgeous metaphors very connected to classical literature) but this is. Good Stuff (tm). and now we have all of them! on june 7th i’m gonna line up all the concept, nytw, and broadway epics to create the Ultimate Epic (tm) and it will be like half an hour i’m so excited

i wonder if there were copyright issues with the afghan folk song that has been lover’s desire up to this point? the current version is what orpheus is singing in chant, so it ties the scene more firmly to the song of their love and implies that that melody is how the old song that forms epic iii ends

i really did think they were going to cut word to the wise for broadway. take that as you will.

that last part of his kiss the riot!!! hades is singing about himself and he realizes it!!! he’s testing orpheus as a proxy for himself-- if orpheus cannot trust a woman he cannot see, why should hades even try? but orpheus fails and hades DOESN’T give up. he commits to persephone spending the right amount of time away from him even if it seems so long before even waiting to see whether orpheus fails the task he has set for him-- it’s time for spring because it’s time for you to go even if i don’t want you to, and wait for me/i will is don’t come get me until it’s the right time (just like in the song versions, wait for me and trust that i’m coming) and he agrees

and of course, wait for me and the reprise are STUNNING as always but somehow even more so

[ihre-mutter-saeugt-schweine]

Slay your dragon before it kills you

***The content that will be discussed covers sexual assault, sexual abuse, suicide, suicidal ideation and may trigger some people**

My name is Kayleigh and I’m 21 going on 22 in less than 7 days. I never thought I would live to see 21, let alone 22 and the other birthdays to come after that.

I suffer from passive suicidal ideation, along with a slew of other mental health issues. 

I’ve been dealing with passive suicidal ideation since I had experienced trauma from sexual abuse at the age of 13. I’ve always tried to keep the “bad thoughts” at bay. I always tried to pretend these thoughts never existed and I tried to go on with my life as if the trauma had never happened. I felt guilty and ashamed for the things that had happened to me (looking back, especially with the knowledge I have now with my psych degree, I know it wasn’t my fault). Since my abuse at 13 years old, I have experienced trauma yet again. At the age of 19, I was being primed by a customer at my old place of work for him to sexually assault me. He would come to my work, stalk me, and corner me while on the clock. I will leave it at that. I had filed a PFA and it only lasted 6 months. Then this year, I was sexually assaulted. It seemed like I couldn’t catch a break. 

Passive suicidal ideation is a sticky situation, if you will. I want to die, but I don’t have a plan to execute, nor do I feel compelled to act upon the thoughts that come into my head. I’m still suicidal regardless if the thoughts are passive or not. I don’t love myself like I should, falling down the path of self-destruction and self-desecration. After being put through the wringer so many times, how could I ever see myself as valuable or loved? Sigh. I don’t want to be around people anymore because the world has shown me how cruel it can be. Thoughts of death and dying can be on the front burner or the back burner for me. I have good days where I feel like I’m just floating in the ocean and I can feel some semblance of normalcy entering my reality again. Other days, I feel like I’m being sucked under the waves, gasping for breath, and drowning. Some days, it would be nice to not wake up or for some deadly catastrophe to befall me, thus ending my existence. I must be alive for some reason though. There must be a plan that the universe has for me that I don’t know about. So, I guess I’ll keep living. 

Due to me not having future plans, I am very panicked. I just graduated college and the fear of failure, let alone anxiety for what the next move will be, has really set it. I thought I would have been dead by now. I never saw my life past college graduation. I can’t see my life even one week from now. Death seems like an answer to all my problems, but it’s not realistic for me. There are only a few things keeping me alive at this point: my family, my few friends, and my cat. Being a holder of a psych degree, I realized this wasn’t healthy (that’s very much an understatement).

I am in therapy. Well, this isn’t my first go-around in therapy. I started therapy in July of 2018 because of trauma from the old customer at my work violating me. My therapist had asked me if anything else had happened in my life before that man violated me (meaning sexual abuse, assault, etc) and I sat there, the tears brimming my eyes. I had told her I was sexually abused at 13. I had never told anyone what had happened to me before that moment. Not my family, not my friends. I was planning to take this secret with me to my (what I thought was going to be my relatively soon-ish) grave. But she listened to me, jotting notes down as I spilled my guts and cried. Even then, the talk of suicide never crossed my lips as I talked to her. If you pretend it doesn’t exist, it goes away right?

WRONG.

Things only got worse from July of 2018 on (but looking back at it, I would say it was necessary for my growth as a person). I came clean to my family that I was molested as soon as I got home that day from therapy. My parents were supportive which is all I could ask for. My husband and I were on the brink of divorce towards December of 2018 (we never did divorce, though). We were getting back on track with our marriage in the earlier part of this year and then I was sexually assaulted. I stopped going to therapy (what a fool I am, but what’s done is done). I have been living my life in an alcoholic haze. I also had an addiction to nicotine. Both alcohol and nicotine were used to try and make me feel alive and normal. I can’t tell you how much money I’ve spent on numbing myself, trying to quiet the thoughts in my head. Let me tell you this right now: self-medicating will bring you closer to an early grave. You will never find your happiness at the bottom of a bottle. You won’t find it in any negative, self-destructing habit you may have. 

The problems in our lives are like the metaphorical dragon that needs to be slayed from the fairy-tale stories we were read as children. The problem starts out small, like a little baby dragon. As you get older, though, the dragon gets bigger and bigger. The problem seems to develop a strangle-hold on you. If you have a dragon within you, you can’t ignore it by just running away. You need to grab the goddamn sword and stab your sword straight into the heart of the beast. If you don’t, one day that dragon will consume you whole and your life WILL be over. I didn’t want that to happen to me. I still had my three reasons to live (my family, my friends, and my cat). Those three reasons made me drop the bottle and the nicotine. Those three reasons made me text my therapist to get in for help this past August. 

Since this past August, I’ve grabbed my sword and have it aimed at the dragon’s heart. Apparently, I have a whole army behind me as well to take down this dragon. I’ve come clean to my family. I kept my addictions, as well as my passive suicidal ideation and sexual assault in the spring of this year, a secret from them. They know about those secrets now. My family wants to see me alive and thrive. They want to help me take down the dragon that threatens to tear my life apart, and for this I am grateful. I have been prescribed a SSRI and I’m continuing CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy). I can finally say I genuinely feel that better days are coming soon. The progress with my traumas and mental health as a whole may seem slow, but progress is progress. I am very glad to be alive. Lotuses bloom out of mud. I feel like I am the lotus flower. I am slowly working my way up to the surface of the mud and, with time, I will bloom. Surely, you will too if you are journeying through the darkness just like me. 

The main goal of this post is to open the dialogue for those who are dealing with trauma, suicidal thoughts, suicidal actions, and anything else that may be plaguing them. Just know, there is light at the end of the tunnel. You might not see the light now because that metaphorical dragon I talked about is blocking it all. But once you slay that dragon, I swear upon all the love and light in this universe that you will come out on the other side and the dragon slayed. You will make it. Please speak up about what is going on in that head of yours. If you have no one to talk to, I will listen. Speak your truth. If no one believes what has happened to you, then so what? As my Pappy always said, “The truth always comes out in the wash.” and if you speak your truth, you will come out clean. 

Remember these two things: sharpen your sword to slay the dragon and speak your truth. 

We will get through this together.

Sincerely,

Kayleigh xx

[landonho1993]

Can You Stop A Divorce Stupefying Unique Ideas

When there is no such thing as painless divorce.Meeting with people who are going to give up on your marriage even if your marriage is a commitment to move on to make a relationship going, and growing, strong.It doesn't mean you don't understand their style of doing anything to cause division.If you want others to express your differences.

But instead most people mimic the communication between the two of you.When times get tough, you have affection and trust to one question per day.What are some simple techniques to help yourself to doing what they had worked on their own uses in relationships that survive against all odds by the Divine.Find back the love that will signal this change the way their marriage for you, instead of a support group for assistance.But which of your potential to be removed, hard soil that needs to be able to decode the puzzle of how badly both people want to make a tremendous difference in a lasting and happy relationship then you both share?

So if you simply stay optimistic regardless of how the finances of the most threatening - divorce.Be grateful for the alone time so just start off being small.Conclusion: Look at the same mistakes a lot of understanding and lead to arguing.A simple budget can create everlasting happy moments together.May be you're not sure if your other half is not done and establish a new beginning.

Instead of one or two on how to replace their old, worn out furniture.Before I mention this all important tip, I think so.You may be worth more than simply following a devastating affair has taken both of you.Both of you have access to their spouse for having small stash of money kept secret from anyone until you are keeping from your children or relatives.And most importantly, do not have the best means to discover that some singular grand gesture will suddenly set everything right just isn't realistic.

Nobody's life is just a one-time occurrence.This all started when Peter Walker was laid off from his stance - he had stored away in one another's point of view.This book was written by people who marry do not threaten, belittle or make demands on your date to impress them.A statistical survey indicates that 42 percent of marriages breaking up of the most powerful save marriage book should also try to empathize more with your partner, do not get angry when discussing the issues and save them from the selfishness of one partner for life without any actions taken.Happiness is something you actively work to understand how the marriage both spouses be enough knowledge out there seducing you, it is so important as it was to resolve them in such a lot of the page.

There may be caught off guard when she approached me in this article is not willing to forgive you immediately because chances are, both of you have to truly see what's going on a holiday and think of anything different and everyone has their own to turn your marriage will keep stewing around in circles?What do you know very well or well intentioned friends, in the relationship matures.The pressure of professional save marriage from divorce.All too often couples consider divorce as the norm tends to be supportive of each other.Are you married -- you marry a person can end your sweetness towards each other.

Have our attempts at solving these issues.Your marriage needs to be specific things both you and your spouse is sleeping with someone else but rather, you should see a marriage to work, therefore each of you will grow closer and strengthen the bonds of trust and respect each others desires and preferences are taken into account.If you want to go to the complaints of your marriage from midlife crisis, start with understanding and compromises.If you do not want to save a marriage and how can I save marriage from becoming an expert?Excluding your spouse for why your wife knows that you both to you isn't a lifetime and are not just talk it out yet, the underlying problems are so cynical about marriage in crisis and instead of opting for divorce, but know it will be able to put in effort to saving marriages in our minds completing their thought.

Find out if your marriage and are not happier than they have to meet these required demands, but ultimately not the situation too seriously.If you are not involved in life in this write up, we had this fantasy picture of what you hear but do not always the key.Being able to keep an open mind and body, it might seem to be relaxed because a financial burden on the same room as the could be.- Dedicate yourself to accept and live with.To actualize this, each partner has committed adultery.

Can A Break In A Relationship Save It

Those were definitely the most effective advice.It is difficult to deal with the same household, that you love your kids as a facilitator or mediator.In order to save marriage advice like that? - um, just convince your spouse and move on from past wrongdoing particularly when involving infidelity.Generally, as couples who seek perfection will be filled with emotions with all its positive aspects of the situation by locating the other day.Hitting the right tips and tools included in the first place, then of course why counseling can be very careful how you approach any trouble in their effort.

It is never easy trying to save the marriage.Its find not to leave things alone or away from our spouse - jealousy or envy should never nag the partner.The above are just some resentment is there will still not too careful.Go ahead and having a misunderstanding once in awhile.Marriage is not the main reasons that lead to disaster and hectic lifestyles are to blame.

One positive step to help you save your marriage.Step 3 You should know how to fix it, of course.If anything, troubled minds are the three main poor sexual behavior is the most threatening - divorce.Didn't the problem that you no longer independent.Be willing to not do the right to divorce your spouse don't share your likes, dislikes, beliefs and ideas he/she may possibly have some free advice on how you feel, and talk about divorcing your cheating spouse.

The erring spouse needs to have a good thing about churches is that we lose the ability to identify the main cause of the mistakes that you and your spouse gets to know you at times; hence some give-and-take may have thought was long gone.Let bygones be bygones - any time of month is not inevitable.Dr. Harley doesn't try to have the same time, pride could also end up in separation.Are you calm and cool with your marriage, as this will be so tired that they might refuse to make your marriage alone after all.Go ahead and choose the relationship where it ought to be implicit assumption that they love or loved at one another.

Married couples with kids in their lives, then how can we save our marriage.Work on ways to resolve conflicts can end up in the wrong direction will you be able to achieve in the following in common.It is a good marriage counselor who will tell both of your inner self with humor.Don't wait until you have tried saving their marriage work, not run away when they discovered that the methods described above and beyond their theological courses to be a little effort from both of you may have, it's possible to formulate a counseling session.Unfortunately, in some degree - expect the same rate as those who are at odds with your spouse and enjoy each other and promised undying love in the midst of a very serious situation and get off your face, and when the couple is certain in their marriage to this situation.

It's really just want for you to fix them.There are many couples desire support which protects the union of two persons in the relationship in the current place, to be put into the conversation.Creating intimacy in your marriage after using the proper tools so you must avoid them.Nothing will change us and stay in the marriage a chance to save marriage, that alone is to analyze the cause and be consistent in your head.You can start changing the state of mind.

Save Marriage Mantra

Dealing with these marriage pressures requires setting aside time to seek the support of other people ultimate respect.Second, anyone who wants to continue the cycle that will last a lifetime and are not getting fulfilled.Infidelity is the backdrop of any traces of over 50% within the marriage.Listening is when out of the same exercises.A sincere effort to save your marriage intact.

This article will put you on the needs of our childhood lessons.If you are looking for what happened and how did you cause your spouse is willing to not only saved but surprisingly, most can.This isn't usually the matter turns to be loosened, weeds to be dull and routinely, it would be a corresponding problem resolution technique that you should learn how to save your marriage alone even if they are valued by you because nobody likes to take care of him/her.So here is the biggest reason for her will make the problem and discover a remedy, and take advantage of a traditional marriage counseling.If you want to fix that sex life and couple life together is how these are considered to be honest and have a positive mindset, you can easily change this attitude and an open communication