#She got choked out for aaron give her some respect

[badadboombadabing26]

❤️🌷 Katelyn 🌷❤️

How I look when Katelyn is one of my favorite characters from aftg and yeah she may have only got like 3 sentences but they were GOOD sentences and then whenever I see any discussion about her it's usually about how she's bland 👨‍🦲

You can't change my mind tho she's a pretty princess with her loser fail boyfriend whenever I picture her I just see this

All I'm saying is this is the start of my campaign for Katelyn MacKenzie to be the peoples princess she makes me a patriot fr 🦅

[lightvixxen]

stress relief

So my amazing friend ceebs or @maladaptive-day-dreams convinced me to write a st x cm crossover and well...Hopper/Reader/Hotch was born.

SUMMARY: Hopper and Hotch are working late when they decide to have some fun with the shoplifter that got dragged into the station earlier that day

WC:3134

WARNINGS: spit roasting, degrading, MMF threesome, reader's age is not confirmed but she IS 18+, spoiled brat! reader, rich!reader, modern!st, choking, name-calling, basic cm shit. not proofread

The BAU was called into a small town of indiana, Hawkins to be exact, the run of the mill serial killer who had a knack for kidnapping. The team could already tell this was going to be a hard case, seeing as the killer didn’t seem to have a type.

“How long does he keep them?” Emily pipes up, the file was already hard to Figure out since there was apparently no specific time frame the killer stuck to. 

“As of now that is undetermined…the local police there doesn’t have a single lead despite how small the town is.” Hotch told her, “Which is the exact reason we’ve been called in. They’ve been dealing with most likely the same killer for years so they thought a fresh pair of eyes would be good.” 

“So they have basically nothing?” The team asks at the same time, and Hotch nods. 

“It’s definitely not ideal but we have delt with worse…” Hotch’s statement was met with a chorus of agreement, they have delt with worse evidence before. 

Once the jet landed the team immediately went to the Hawkins police department, not wanting to waste another second not solving this case. Walking into the department they were almost immediately met with a bustling space of police officers. As they stood there looking around trying to find anyone that could help them, they hear a deep voice from behind them. 

“You guys the BAU?” the voice asks, as they turn around they’re met with a broad man with facial hair, he was a little chubby but they could tell he was at least a little fit. 

“Yes we are, I’m Unit Cheif Aaron Hotchner, this is SSA Morgan, JJ, Prentiss and Dr. Reid.” Hotch introduces each of them, pointing to the respective person.

“I’m Jim Hopper, chief of police.” They do the routine of shaking hands before Hopper shows them where they can set up.

“So what do you know about the killer we’re working with?” Hotch asks, hoping that getting information out of the file they were giving would somehow help them. 

Hopper scratches his head “Only that he’s one sick son of a bitch, while the time he keeps his victims are undetermined…we never find them, its like they just vanish into thin air.” Hotch nods, “okay, yeah, that’s actually helpful.” Hopper nods, before leaving them to work. 

—---

It had Only been a week and the team and the entire police department were stressed out of their minds. Still no new leads, suspects, nothing, It was as if the Killer was a ghost or something. It was 2pm when they dragged in a screaming girl, saying something about how her father will bail her out. They dragged her back into a holding cell about 20 minutes later as they weren’t getting an answer from anyone they called. 

Hotch walked out to where Hopper was standing with his arms crossed, looking over some officers desk and at his computer. 

“Don’t forget this is her third time-” Hopper looked over to Hotch with a questioning look. 

“Who was that? A suspect or-” 

Hopper laughed at his question, “God no, that was y/n l/n, she has some sticky fingers and has gotten caught shoplifting about three times now…we call her our resident spoiled brat. She comes from a rich family that resides here in Hawkins.” 

Hotch’s eyebrows raised at hearing that you came from a rich family. 

“If she’s rich why does she feel the need to shoplift?” 

“Daddy doesn’t give her attention, never has, i’ve caught her flirting with multiple of my officers before aswell.” 

Hotch nods “The typical daddy issues story…of course.” 

—--

It was late, Hotch was at one of the open desks, he needed to get out of the confined office space that was the conference room they were set up in before he went crazy. 

He looked over at the clock that told him it was about 1:15. He sighed, looking over to where Hopper was. 

“Did anyone ever come and get that one girl that got brought in earlier?” 

Hopper looked up from the file he was focused on and shook his head. 

“Nope, we called her daddy probably 5 times and he didn’t pick up, my guess is he’s tired of bailing his troublemaker daughter out.” Hotch laughed at that, usually in rich families that is the case, especially if its already known she’s trouble. 

“You’d think he’d be trying to cover up her arrest by now” 

“Oh he did the first two times…but this time she got caught at a busy hour with hundreds of people watching and word travels fast in a town like this.” 

Hotch laughs and nods once again, going back to the file infront of him. Another hour went by before Hopper got up grabbing Aarons attention. 

“I’m gonna check on our spoiled prisoner? Wanna come? Stretch your legs a little…actually fix your posture?” Hopper asks him and Aaron agrees, getting up and following the other man into the holding cell area. 

You were sat on the bed that they placed in the cell, leaning against the wall and facing the bars, you had no idea what time it was but the lack of guards told you that it was late. You perked up and the sound of a door opening and the sound of footsteps approaching, you had hoped it was Hopper or one of the officers coming with your father. 

While the man that accompanied Hopper wasn’t your father you definitely weren’t disappointed. He was tall and broad, dark hair resting ontop of his head and a suit telling that wasn’t a cop, he was fucking hot, he practically oozed dominance, just like Hopper did, telling you he was in a positon of power. 

“Ooo who’s this?” you ask, getting up from your spot and walking up to the bars and leaning against them, hoping to get a better look of the mystery man. “You are definitely not a cop..” 

Hotch looks down at you, and heat travels straight to your core at the realization that even from behind the bars he still has to look down to see you. 

“Your right, i’m a FBI agent.” God even his voice was sexy, you bit your lip staring at him, before you turned your attention to Hopper. 

“Why are you guys here? Did daddy finally pick up?” you ask the two men, only to be met with a head shake. 

“You might be stuck here for a little while if your waiting for your daddy to bail you out.” Hopper told you and you groaned. 

“Then why the fuck are you here?” 

“Just to check on you, the routine.” 

You leaned against the bars once again, bored out of your mind. 

“Can’t you just…let me go? I mean you already know the bail and fine will be paid…” 

Hopper sighed, “You know damn well I can’t do that, its a good way to lose my job.” 

You pouted, giving him your best puppy eyes, 

“Pleasee Hop…I promise to be on best behavior when I get out, I won’t tell anyone, pink promise!” 

“No is the final answer sweetheart, Those puppy eyes have no effect on me and you know that. Also how many times have I told you not to call me that. 

While you were talking to Hopper Aaron finally got a good look at you, you were wearing a short white crop top that read ‘angel’ across your boobs, paired with an equally short pink skirt, if you could even call it that, it only came up to the tops of your thighs. 

“Can you at least let me out for a little bit? I’m bored out of my mind in here.” Aaron looked at Hopper, expecting him to say no and just leave it at that, instead he fished the cells keys out of his pocket and unlocked the cell. 

“Turn around.” he told you in a stern voice 

“Seriously you know I won’t-” 

“He said turn around, your lucky we’re even letting you leave this cell at all.” Hotch snapped at you, using the same tone Hopper had. You rolled your eyes before turning around and placing your hands behind your back. 

You felt warm hands before the cold metal of the handcuffs, you guessed it was Hopper because of how rough he was with your arms. 

“Ow! Too tight!” you whined when he tightened them, your back automatically straightening at the pressure on your wrists.

“They’re not and you know it, stop being fucking dramatic.” you heard Hoppers gruff voice from behind you before he escorted you out to the office area of the police department. 

“Sit” He told you, pushing you into the chair next to his desk, you did what you were told, just glad you were out of the dingy cell. Looking around the station you were able to stare at the FBI agent, noticing the obvious stress on both of their faces. 

“Hey FBI agenttt” you called out to him in a singsongy voice, grabbing his attention, once you were sure you had his attention you asked his name, since neither him or Hopper had mentioned it. 

“My name is Aaron Hotchner.” He told you with the most monotone voice you have probably heard come from anyones mouth. You smiled at him, before looking at Hopper. 

“Why can’t you be that nice to me? He actually gave me a clear answer without calling me a name…” you pouted and  Hopper looked at you before looking towards Aaron, “Because he doesn’t know how much of a spoiled brat you can be.”

“But I think I’m starting to learn.” Aaron chimed in, you gasped, looking at both men infront of you, 

“I’m not a spoiled brat!” you huffed, and the two men looked at eachother and Hopper laughed, 

“Thats something only a brat would say!” Hopper told you, and Hotch agreed with him. 

“I would cross my arms if I could right now I hope you know that.” 

“We know sweetheart, we know.” is all Hopper said before getting back to work, Hotch joining him and returning to the file he had been going over and over for hours already. 

Only a few minutes had passed before you spoke up.

“Are you sure there’s nothing that can get me out of here without my dad?! Seriously I’ll do anything! Please! Just name what you want!” you begged, tearing the mens attention away from their work, Hopper glared at you. 

“What part of no do you not understand? Were you never told it growing up?” 

“No” You giggled, “I got everything I asked for so I wouldn’t bother my daddy” you smirked at the dumbfounded faces on the two men. 

“Oh don’t act like your surprised my family is rich, we could afford the things I wanted!” 

“No fucking wonder your so spoiled, you got everything you wanted just by being annoying.” Hopper grumbled, and you just beamed. 

“And I’m very good at being annoying” You smirked again “So you should just let me go now, i’ll talk to my father when I get home and he can pay-” 

Aaron got up and walked to where you were sitting, grabbing a handful of your hair. 

“Or maybe we should just duct tape your mouth shut, that way you can’t bother us…or better yet…” He trailed off looking at Hopper, “We could use her as some…stress relief” 

Hopper smirked at his suggestion, “I think thats an amazing idea actually” You felt heat pool in your belly immediately and the hungry gazes that the two men gave you, “She’d probably enjoy it too, wouldn’t you sweetheart?” Hopper got up to stand next to Hotch, his hand grabbing your chin. You nodded quickly, if you weren’t going to be let out tonight this was the next best outcome, at least you wouldn’t be bored anymore. 

“Words pretty girl.” Hotch spoke up, letting go of your hair. 

“Yes, fuck yes, please” You once again begged. 

“You sound so much better when your begging” Hopper told you before yanking you out of your seat, forcing you onto your stomach over his desk. 

“Lets see…which end do you want first, Hotch? Mouth or pussy?” Hopper asked standing next to your figure. 

“I’ll take her mouth first, you’ve known the little slut longer, you deserve her cunt.” 

Hopper smirked wildly before taking his place behind you, flipping your skirt up he tuts when he sees the damp patch in your panties, “God you really are a slut, your already wet, love the idea of two men old enough to be your father using you?” You nod and he slaps your ass harshly, obviously expecting a verbal response. 

“Yes!” You don’t know you manage to even form a verbal response when Hotch is infront of you undoing his belt, his hands are so big they practically cover the entirety of the buckle and it has you fucking drooling. He’s only half hard and yet you can tell that he’s big. You already knew Hopper was big the few times he had to pin you against a wall just to put handcuffs on you. 

You already knew you most likely wouldn’t be doing a whole lot of talking after this…

Hotch taps your cheek with a mumbled ‘open”, you opened your mouth welcoming his half hard cock into your mouth, while Hopper ran his fingers through your wet cunt, he eventually sinks one finger into your waiting hole causing you to moan around Aarons cock, which caused the other man to groan. He tangled his fingers in your hair, beginning to fuck your face. 

Hopper added another finger into your hole, slowing finger fucking you, your muffled moans turned into slight gagging as Hopper hit your g-spot with his fingers at the same time Hotch forced his cock to the back of your throat. 

“You can take it.” Hopper told you before removing his fingers from your cunt, wiping his fingers against the skin of your thigh. Causing you to whine at the feeling. 

“Oh be fucking quiet, your lucky we’re even using you right now.” Hotch spoke up from above you, hearing Hoppers belt hit the floor and his pant being unzipped sent another flood of arousal through you. Wiggling your hips you couldn’t wait to be filled by his cock. 

Hopper pushed his cock into you and you felt your eyes roll into the back of your head, between Hotch’s cock and his you felt so fucking full, you really wished you weren’t handcuffed so you had something to hold onto. 

You practically shrieked around Aarons cock when Hopper bottomed out, almost immediately pulled out until only the tip of his cock remained in your cunt before pushing all the way in. 

The two men smiled wickidely as they heard you splutter around Aarons cock when they timed their thrusts together. 

“Fuuck Her mouth is fucking amazing…” Hotch mumbled, watching as his cock dissappeared into your mouth over and over again, “I’m not gonna last much longer…” He groaned as he felt your tongue run over a vein that was on the underside of his dick. 

“Shit me neither, her cunt is so fucking tight she’s practically sucking me in…” Hoppers hands were digging into your hips, sure to leave bruises that would last for weeks. 

The two men shared a look before they both pulled out of you, much to your distaste, you whined, almost begging for them to return to where they were. 

“No no, please, I was getting so close.” you tolf them, but the two men just laughed. 

“Too fucking bad, your just here to be a toy for us, you probably won’t be cumming tonight.” Hopper told you, settling infront of you and grabbing your hair, just like Aaron did. While the other grabs your hips lining himself up with your hole. 

“Now get to work” Hopper spat at you, using the hand that wasn’t holding your hair to line his cock up with your mouth. Aaron sunk his cock into you before you had a chance to welcome Hoppers cock into your mouth, a gruttal moan ripped through your throat before Hopper shoved his cock into it, hitting the back of your throat immediately. You got to work sucking Hoppers cock with the same enthusiasm that you did with Aarons. 

“Fuckkkk I’m gonna cum baby, want me to come in your mouth?” You tried you best to nod, looking up at the olderman infront of you. 

“Good, cause you didn’t have a choice.” It didn’t take long before Hoppers hips started thrusting into your face, forcing you to deep throat him and then still as he came down your throat. You took his cum as best you could, reveling in the salty taste. 

“God you really are a fucking whore.” He mumbled, pulling out of your mouth, “Now be a good girl and swallow.” And you did, you might’ve choked a little bit because as you did Aaron had decided that was a perfect time to move one of his hands down to rub your clit. 

Now that your mouth was free your moans fell freely from your throat, you couldn’t hold them back if you even tried. Hotch was bullying your cunt with each snap of his hips, his fingers making work on your clit, he had you hurtiling to the edge faster that anyone had. 

“Fuck, fuck, so good.” you moaned, eyes rolling back into your head, but it wasn’t enough, you needed more. 

“Fuck, choke me please.” you pleaded with the man behind you, the though of his hand wrapping around your throat too good to pass up.

“Oh she likes being choked does she?” the two men laughed at hoppers statement, the hand that was on your hip came up to wrap around your throat, cutting off your air supply. You were so fucking close to the edge. 

“I’m gonna cum! Please, please don’t stop!” you practically screamed out, Hotch grunted behind you, you took that as a confirmation that he wouldn’t. After a few more thrusts of his hips your body was convulsing, and a cry fell from your lips as you came, not even a minute Hotch followed, he buried himself deep into your cunt as he came. 

You were both out of breath as he pulled out, sweat dotting everyones foreheads and you laid limply across Hoppers desk, effectively fucked out. You felt one of the men undo your cuffs, Hopper picked you up gently. 

“Lets go get you cleaned up.” He walked with you towards the bathroom, Hotch following close behind and you smiled, cuddling into the older mans chest. 

“But do not think this night is over…we’re both extremely pent up.”

[ssahotchhner]

reckless endangerment

the reader can't let go of the trauma of aaron being kidnapped and tortured six months ago.

pairing: hotch x reader

warnings: kidnapping, torture, smut, dom!hotch

masterlist

questions, comments, concerns

It was stupid to jump on the helicopter that contained at least two terrorists as it took off that roof in Manhattan. Even stupider that you had done it alone, Aaron’s voice screaming for you from behind. You weren’t sure he would forgive you for this if you survived so you supposed it was a good thing you weren’t planning on surviving.

Why did you jump on the helicopter, you may ask, and that would be a reasonable question. Perhaps it was your hero complex finally getting the better of you, knowing the helicopter was planning on flying straight into the Empire State Building, loaded with explosives. Or perhaps it was because these terrorists were part of a group that had tortured Aaron for hours a few months ago when he was on assignment in Pakistan and you had always believed fully in revenge. Aaron did not, he was much better than you.

“Hold your fire!” Aaron had yelled when it was clear you weren’t getting off that helicopter, “Federal agent on board!”

“With all due respect, sir, but you said that helicopter was headed for the Empire State Building where there are thousands of tourists and--”

“I said hold your fire.” Aaron snarls at the leader of the SWAT team. He knows he’s being ridiculous, letting emotion cloud his judgement, but how can he let them blow up a helicopter that you’re on? And why the fuck had you jumped on it in the first place?

The SWAT agent glared at him, “That helicopter gets within a hundred yards of the building, I’m ordering my men to shoot it down.” And then he walked away.

“Hotch!” Morgan yells, the rest of the team not far behind him, “What the hell did she do that for?”

“Your guess is as good as mine.” He responded. He was furious with you, so much so he couldn’t think straight.

JJ steps closer, the panic evident on her face, “She’s not responding on radio.”

He looks at the rest of the team, all of them one step away from absolutely losing their minds over the fact that one of their own had gone on a suicide mission without consulting any of them, and then he looks back to the helicopter that’s getting smaller and smaller by the second.

***

SIX MONTHS AGO

You take a sip from your glass, “I miss you.” You say to your computer screen.

On that screen, SSA Aaron Hotchner smiles back at you, “I know. I’ll be home before you know it.”

“When you get back,” You say slowly, “Can we… Can we tell them? About us?”

By them, he knew you meant the team. He gets quiet, the smile falling off his face, “Are you sure that’s what you want?”

“Hotch, they’re like our family. I feel terrible keeping things from them. It was fun in the beginning, but I don’t want to hide it anymore.”

He swallows, but then nods, “Okay.”

“Really?”

He smiles, “Yeah, of course. I don’t like hiding you either.”

You’re about to tell him you love him when there are suddenly men in the tent, “Aaron?” He looks around and scrambles for his gun, but he’s too late. One of the men hits him in the side of the head with a blunt object and he’s out, “Aaron!” You yell and then the feed cuts out.

***

It was surprisingly easy to disarm them, you supposed because you had surprised them. You easily knocked the gun away from the one who wasn’t piloting, ducked some of his punches before kicking him square in the chest, causing him to fall down. He hit his head on a hard metal handle on the way down, knocking himself unconscious. The Empire State Building was looming closer and closer and you knew if you didn’t stop it, SWAT would shoot down the helicopter. It would lead to less deaths than crashing directly into the building would, but people would still die from fallen debris. You wouldn’t let that happen. You pointed your gun at the man in the cockpit.

***

“Garcia, is her body cam on?”

“No, sir, but I can turn it on.”

Seconds later, the team was viewing the inside of the helicopter. You had knocked one of the men unconscious and handcuffed him to a handle, but you still had to get control of the helicopter.

“Can you hack the helicopter, Garcia?”

He hears the frantic typing of the technical analyst, but she huffs on the other end, “Not under these time constraints no, by the time I get in it’ll be too late.”

“Agent Hotchner, the snipers have locked in on the target.”

“Just give her another minute.”

“We don’t have another minute.”

He sighs, “She’s about to take control of the cockpit.”

“Does she know how to fly a chopper?”

“She’ll figure it out. Stand down, I won’t say it again.” Hotch’s radio goes silent after that.

***

You waste no time getting the team together and forty minutes later you’re sitting in the conference room, styrofoam cup of coffee warming your hands.

“You were video calling Hotch? At 10 PM?” Reid asks. From anyone else, it would sound accusatory, but you knew he was just genuinely curious.

“10 PM here is 7AM for him. I caught him right before he started his day, wanted to ask him about a case.”

Spencer frowns, “What case?”

Your mouth falls open as you try to fumble for something, but it’s already too late. “I knew it.” Rossi says quietly.

You grind your teeth together, “I’m sorry, is dissecting my love life more important to you guys than finding Hotch after he’s been kidnapped by a terrorist group?” You stand, squashing the empty styrofoam cup in your hand and toss it in the waste bin as you walk out of the room.

Moments later, Spencer’s standing next to you and you immediately feel guilty, “I didn’t mean to pry,” He says, “Honestly, the two of you being romantically involved was the last thing I would have guessed.”

The corners of your lips turn up just slightly, “I didn’t mean to snap in there, I know you meant nothing by it, I just… Right before he was taken we talked about telling you all. Together. Once he got back.” You sniff, “Part of me feels like all of you figuring it out without him here is the universe saying he’s going to die out there. I know that’s silly, but…”

“It’s not silly at all. When you’ve witnessed something traumatic, like a loved one being taken away in front of you with no way for you to help, your brain looks for anything to rationalize it. Even the universe predicting the outcome.”

Spencer's voice throwing out facts was actually fairly soothing, “Thank you, Dr. Reid.”

“Come on.” He squeezes your shoulder, “Let’s bring Hotch home.”

***

“Slowly put your hands up and back away from the controls,” You say, flexing your fingers on the gun, “Now!” You say when he doesn’t move. You’re running out of time. Finally, he slowly raises his hands, but at the last second turns and lunges for you. The helicopter tips as you fall over, your gun misfires at the ceiling before tumbling out of the chopper, and you’re free falling until your face slams on the floor and your hands grab the outside edge of the helicopter so hard you’re sure you ripped out your fingernails. Dangling, you grunt as you scramble to hook your feet on something. The pilot, already assuming you’re dead, had gone back to the cockpit.

Finally, you haul yourself back inside and run to him, ripping him out of his seat. He’s bigger than you, though, and quickly overpowers you. His hands wrap around your throat as you’re pinned to the floor and you’re choking, suffocating. All you can think is at least you’ll die before the chopper goes up in flames. And then, in a last ditch effort that’s more involuntary reaction than conscious choice, you’re able to knee him in the groin. His hands immediately leave your throat and instead of taking the moment to catch your breath, you kick him off you and he rolls to the open door. You reach for him, but you’re too late, he falls.

You wanted revenge, but you didn’t want to kill anyone. But you had no time to think about that now. You cough a few times and then stumble over to the cockpit. For the first time since you jumped on the helicopter, you turn your radio back on.

“I don’t suppose one of you knows how to fly a chopper?”

***

When you reenter the conference room everyone’s watching the last few seconds of the video call. They look at you apologetically and you nod in acknowledgement. You have to close your eyes at the sound of your own screams.

“Who was he working to take down while he was there?” Morgan asked.

“The leader of the Kashmir Jehad Force, his name was Syed Khan.” You said.

JJ frowned, “He told you all of this? Wasn’t it classified?”

You nodded, “Hotch asked to bring me on a few weeks ago when they were stuck. I was debriefed, but then they had a break before I could get on the plane. They finished the operation a few days ago, Hotch was supposed to come home in the next couple of days.”

“So Khan is dead?” Rossi asked.

You nod, “No one was supposed to know it was the US Government who did it. They wanted it to look like an accident. They shouldn’t have known Hotch was there.”

“Are you thinking there’s a double agent?” Emily asked.

You shrug, “It’s either that or Hotch was sloppy. Which one would you bet on?” The room is silent. “Exactly.” You say quietly.

***

They don’t have time to be relieved about the fact that you single handedly re-hijacked the chopper because now you need to figure out how to safely land it and you’re a football field length away from the Empire State Building. Reid jumps into action, apparently having read a lot about helicopters when he was younger.

“I’m assuming he had it on autopilot, the button will be glowing green on your left, turn it off and then get ready to steer.”

You sigh, “Spencer, I am so happy to hear your voice.” You flip off the switch like he said and the helicopter immediately starts beeping at you and plummets. You try and remain calm and pull it up and then turn the helicopter in the opposite direction from the building and sigh. “You know how to land this thing, right Reid?”

“Yeah, I’ll walk you through it.”

Hotch has to walk away from the conversation because he’s so caught up in feeling relieved that you’re alive and absolutely furious with you for doing what you did. He thinks he knows why you did it. You had been absolutely torn up when he had been taken while in Pakistan and you had been on edge this whole case knowing the terrorists you were after had been a part of the group that had tortured him.

***

When Hotch wakes up, he’s chained to the ceiling by his wrists, shirtless. He can feel a migraine blooming from his temple where he was hit, but he knows the real pain hasn’t even begun yet. He can hear talking from the corner of the room and before they can see that he’s awake, he begins detaching himself. He pictures your face, smiling at him on your first date. The way you smile sleepily at him when he kisses you first thing in the morning. The way you scrunch up your forehead just a little when you’re thinking really hard. The first time you told him you loved him. And then he’s with you and no one can touch him, no one can hurt him.

***

“Do you know where they would keep him?” Strauss is sitting in the conference room now, looking at you, “You were debriefed, is it enough for a profile?”

You sighed deeply, eyes darting back and forth as you tried to recall all the information you know, “I know most of the profile for Kahn, but we never focused on the group as a whole because we wanted to find him alone when we neutralized him.” You tap your fingers on the table, “I have no idea what a group without Kahn would function like, even knowing what I knew before, the fact that Kahn is gone would change the whole profile. We don’t know who took over.”

“And what do you know about the group?”

“Um,” You blinked a few times, you were having a hard time focusing, “They were all followers, none of them would have been capable of leading. Whoever is in control now was outside of the group.”

“Maybe our double agent?” Emily says.

You nod, “That would make sense.”

Strauss frowns, “You think there’s a double agent?”

“There’s no way the group would have known Hotch was responsible if they didn’t have insider information.” You say.

“What you’re proposing is that a terrorist somehow infiltrated a Top Secret US Operation, waited for us to kill a terrorist leader, then took over that same terrorist group and kidnapped the leader of our operation.” Strauss said and waited for someone to say something, “Does that not sound ridiculous to anyone else?”

“Do you have any other ideas?” You ask sharply.

“Yes, that Agent Hotchner left something behind at the scene that pointed the remaining group in his direction.”

You’re shaking your head, “If you’re so certain that’s the case, then check their old stronghold. If it’s a new guy, they would have abandoned it, which I’m certain they did. But be my guest, waste our time and your men.” You storm out of the conference room for a second time.

***

You find yourself in Aaron’s office and you tilt your head to the side, stretching out a kink in your neck before sitting on the couch. You look around the office, well decorated with plaques commemorating his work in the bureau. When you get up and walk around to his side of the desk, you notice a small gold frame that hadn’t been there before. In it is a small picture of the both of you sitting on the beach at sunset. When had he put this here? When had he decided that it was worth the risk of your coworkers noticing that new frame? Seeing you propped on his desk like that?

And then you were crying and you couldn’t stop it and you just wanted to hold him. “Looks like you just outed your relationship to Erin.” You looked up to see Rossi standing in the doorway and wiped your tears, sniffling.

“Not like she can say anything considering you both make it a habit of checking in at the same hotel every weekend.” You snap, and then sigh instantly, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, kiddo.” He says and walks over to put a hand on your shoulder, “You miss him.”

“A few hours ago we were talking about what we were going to do when he gets back, and now he’s gone.”

“He’s coming back, Y/N. We’ll find him.”

***

You had been right about the former stronghold being abandoned. All signs now pointed to a double agent. You tried to think of everything Aaron had told you about the team that would be a part of the operation, but you kept coming up empty. When a list was brought out with pictures of each you went over it again, every conversation you had had with Aaron since he left.

And then… there was one interaction, one interruption that you and Aaron had both dismissed at the time.

A man walks up behind Aaron while he’s talking to you, debriefing you back when they thought you’d be flying in. At the look on your face, Hotch had turned around to face him, “Can I help you with something?”

The man had simply shook his head and left, but you could have sworn for the rest of the call, he had lingered. Listening. Aaron had explained to you that most of those involved in the operation hadn’t known the full details of the plan up until they had left, in order to prevent situations like the one they were in now.

There were times when Aaron was talking to you on the phone and he told you he felt like someone had been watching him, but you both dismissed it as paranoia. And when the pictures and names were presented to you again, you pointed to the man you were sure you saw on that one video call. “What do we know about him?” You asked.

And the look of dread on Erin’s face when you pointed him out told you everything you needed to know. Garcia did what she always did and soon they knew every detail of his life. He was a textbook narcissist and sociopath. Incredibly charming, everyone loved him, he could convince almost anyone to follow him. He had an FBI background and rumor had it, he thought he was to be the one to lead this operation until Aaron showed up.

“So he takes over an entire terrorist organization just to take out Hotch?” Morgan asks, “We have to be missing something.”

You’re getting impatient, “Well let’s figure it out on the jet.”

“This team is not going to Pakistan.” Erin says firmly, “We will inform an extraction team that’s already on the ground when we figure out where they’re holding him.” You’re already rolling your eyes and preparing a retort and she notes that and continues, “If you can’t compartmentalize your emotions, Agent, I will have you removed from the case.”

You hold yourself back from yelling that you need to be the one who brings him home, because you know how ridiculous it sounds and you being stubborn isn’t helping Aaron. “Fine.” You say, “Here’s what I can tell you.”

***

You’re on top of him, straddling his hips, giggling as your hair falls in your face. He reaches up to push it away and you grind your hips against his. “Hotchner.” You say, “You have to wake up.” He frowns. It’s not your voice.

And before he can stop it, your face swims away and it’s replaced by SSA Scott Carter. It takes him a few moments to realize that Carter isn’t here to help him and that he was probably behind this whole thing. “Carter?” He manages.

Carter smiles, “Ah, the darling of the BAU finally awakens. What were you dreaming about, Hotchner? Sounded juicy. Was it about your girlfriend?” His head shot up at that. If you were in danger, he’d kill this son of a bitch. “Oh, I hit a nerve.” He smirks, “Did you tell her you weren’t planning on coming home this week? That you had some loose strings to tie up?”

Hotch blinked, his brain was still fuzzy from what he assumed was a concussion, “You… You’re the one stealing the military weapons and selling them to the terrorist organizations.” He hadn’t told you he was planning on staying a few more days to figure out who was transporting the weapons, he had still been hoping to figure it out before his flight was scheduled to leave, but Carter had been his prime suspect. Apparently, Carter had figured out he was on to him. It was why he was able to get Khan’s men to drag him from his tent this morning.

Carter gives him a slow clap, “You know, for a profiler, I’m disappointed you hadn’t figured it out sooner, Hotchner. Really, I’m very torn up about it. I have half a mind to fly to Quantico after you’re dead and demand your position.”

Aaron laughs, “You’re out of your mind if you think my team won’t figure this out in a quarter of the time it took me to.”

“What did you tell them, Hotchner?”

“I haven’t been in contact with my team in weeks.”

“Oh, but your girlfriend. Did you think I’d forget she’s a federal agent in the BAU as well?”

“She doesn’t know anything, the mission was classified, you know that.”

“You never mentioned your suspicions of a lucrative weapons trading operation?”

“No.”

Carter hums and takes out a knife, “I don’t believe you.”

Hotch doesn’t flinch, “Then go ahead and carve me up, Carter. You won’t be the first.”

***

With Reid’s help, after working through the night you were able to narrow down the possible holding sights to three places and Strauss ordered three separate teams to check each place. Now the only thing left to do was wait.

You’re sitting alone in Hotch’s office when Penelope, JJ, and Emily all walk in, JJ holding a tea for you. You give her a small smile of thanks as you take it, “You guys don’t have to sit with me, I’m okay.”

“Did you think we were going to just let you gloss over the fact you never told us you were dating Hotch?” Penelope said.

You manage a genuine smile and look down at your tea, “We weren’t sure when or how to tell you guys. Or if it would make things weird.”

JJ shrugs, “We’re already family and families are weird.”

“Not the point,” Penelope interjects, “We need all the details now, who made the first move?”

“He did, actually,” You smile recalling the memory, “He asked me if he could call me outside of work hours and I said sure, he could always call me to discuss a case. Then he got really red and I asked him if there was something else he would want to call me about. And he cleared his throat and asked if he could call me to ask me out to dinner sometime and I laughed and said yes.”

Emily shakes her head, “Hard to imagine that man getting flustered over anything.”

You laugh, “Yeah, he gets really awkward around women he likes romantically, it’s kind of endearing.” You clear your throat, “Thank you guys for trying to distract me.”

JJ nods, “They’re going to find him. Alive.”

You nod, “Yeah. I just wish it was my face he was seeing first.”

***

You had somehow managed to fall asleep at some point, head in JJ’s lap with her fingers gently combing through your hair.

“Guys.” Spencer’s voice jolts you from sleep, “They found him.”

All of you jump up, but you’re the first one out of the room, trailing Spencer, “He’s okay?”

“He’s injured, but yeah, he’s gonna be fine.”

Your legs almost give out, but JJ and Emily come on either side to grab your arms as you walk into the conference room.

“They’re airlifting him to the hospital, he was stabbed a couple of times but they were shallow, some burns, looks like he was waterboarded as well,” Erin Strauss smiles, “But he’s fine. They’ll transfer him to DC first thing in the morning.”

“What about Carter?” You ask.

“It turns out he was stealing weapons from the military and selling them to terrorist organizations and Hotch was onto him. That’s why he took him. Not because of Khan. He wanted to know how much Hotch knew and if he had told you anything.”

You shake your head, “I didn’t know anything about that.”

Strauss nodded, “Carter has people here. Hotch didn’t mention it to you on purpose. So that they wouldn’t take you if something happened.”

You close your eyes. That man, always trying to protect you. Always being the hero. You could have found him hours ago if he had just told you. But that was the man you had fallen in love with.

***

You insisted on being on the roof of the DC hospital when the chopper landed and you charmed all the nurses into allowing you into every room he was wheeled in until he was settled. They had sedated him for the long flight and it seemed he would wake at any moment. You slid your small, cold hand, into his large, warm one and waited.

“I know that ice cold hand,” He said slowly. His voice was gravely and it brought tears to your eyes to see that he was trying to smile. “Oh, hey, don’t cry.” He reaches his hand up to stroke your cheek and you turn your head into his hand to kiss his palm, sniffling.

“I’m very happy to see you.” You manage, choking down your sobs, “I didn’t think I was going to see you again.” His smile grows, “It’s not funny!”

“It’s very funny, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you cry over anything and certainly not me.” You glare at him through your tears and he chuckles, “Ah, there she is, tough guy. I know the only thing holding you back from punching me in the shoulder is that I’m injured.”

“Oh, I’ll still do it if you don’t shut that pretty mouth of yours.”

He smirks, “Promise?”

And finally you break into laughter and lean over him to kiss his mouth, “You should’ve told me about Carter.” You say, “You could have at least told me you were in danger.”

“And what, have you worried from an ocean away when it might have been nothing? I needed more evidence.”

You bite your lip, “I’ve never been so scared in my whole life, watching you get taken like that.”

“I came home.” He says softly, “I’m okay, I promise.”

You swallow, “Did they get Carter?” He nods, “And what about the guys that took you in?”

“Sweetheart, that’s a whole terrorist organization, no they didn’t get them.”

“They kidnapped a federal agent!” You say indignantly.

“And the federal agent is alive.”

“But—!”

He puts a finger over your mouth to quiet you, “Don’t make me argue with you like your unit chief right now. I just want to be your boyfriend.”

You sigh, “Okay,” Leaning over him, you rest your head on his chest and he begins stroking your hair. Having not slept at all since Hotch had been taken, you fall asleep like that. Finally at peace.

***

You hadn’t really been able to let it go, even when Hotch was better and back to work, he could tell you were harboring real anger about his kidnappers.

And on that morning, the morning you jumped on the god forsaken helicopter, when the BAU was asked to come to New York to investigate a possible terrorist threat, he debated telling you not to come. The government had suspicions that they were here to take revenge for Khan and he knew you’d be upset with being benched.

“Hotch, I’m fine. I’m not angry.” You had said when he pulled you into his office after debriefing the rest of the team.

“If you even hint at taking impulsive, reckless risks I will suspend you immediately, understood?”

You sigh, “I hate when you use your boss man voice with me.”

“Y/N—” He starts impatiently.

“Yeah, yeah, fine, understood. No being reckless. Got it.”

His eyes scan your face to see if you’re lying, “Good.” He says finally and presses a kiss to your forehead, “Let’s go then.”

He should have known you were lying. It was only the previous night you had woken him up tossing and turning from a nightmare. When he had finally gotten you awake you practically flung yourself at him, arms twining themselves around his neck as you caught your breath, “I thought you were gone again.” You had said breathlessly. And he had wordlessly held you to him, running his fingers through your hair until you were asleep again. It hadn’t been the first time he had had to comfort you. You had had far more nightmares about him being taken than he had about himself being tortured. Truth be told, he had been through far worse than being kidnapped and tortured for 24 hours. He knew it made you feel weak, the nightmares, when you weren’t even the one who had been tortured so he never brought them up. Never made you talk about them. But they worried him all the same. You relived the trauma again over and over, nearly every night. How were you expected to let the anger go when you were still living through it?

He should have known, but he let you out in the field anyway. Would that not put in question his ability to lead? His ability to lead with you on the same team?

He can barely see through his anger as he turns back to where Reid is instructing you to land. When you successfully land and jump out of the chopper, the rest of the team gathers around you to hug you, but Hotch stays back, watching.

When you notice, you walk over to him, “Hotch, I’m sorry, I know I shouldn’t have--”

“You’re suspended for at least a month, if not more.” He starts, “You’re lucky I don’t remove you from this team all together.”

You frown, “Aaron, I was able to detain one of the suspects, now we can learn more about the group--”

“By doing what you did you put yourself and hundreds of civilians at risk. We could have shot down the chopper, but because you jumped onboard I had to instruct them to stand down. Which, by the way, I had to do several times because they were more than willing to kill you to get that chopper down, do you have any idea the damage you caused? What could have happened if you didn’t get control of that chopper when you did?”

“I… Baby, I’m sorry--” You reach your hand out to put on his arm, but he pulls away.

“Don’t talk like that, I’m not your boyfriend right now, I’m your unit chief. Now give me your badge and gun.”

You know you can’t blame him, he had warned you he would do this and you had disobeyed him intentionally. But still, your hands shake as you hand over your gun and badge. You don’t say anything else as you leave the roof, heading down all the way to ground level to get a taxi back to the hotel. And then you wait. You lay on your back and wait for the sound of the door opening and when it does hours later, you push yourself up and sit cross legged on the bed.

“Hi.” You say softly when he walks in.

He spares you a glance before heading to the bathroom without a word. You sigh and fall back on the bed. When you hear the shower running you decide to undress yourself and head in.

He sighs when he realizes you’ve joined him, but doesn’t object when you wrap your arms around his waist and press your face to his back, “I’m sorry.” You murmur.

“You keep saying that, but I know if you were given the opportunity to do it all again, you’d make the same decision.”

You pause at that, “You’re right, I don’t regret what I did, but I’m sorry I had to disobey you to do it.”

He turns in your arms and looks down into your eyes, “Do you not see the problem with that? You did what you did out of revenge. You let your emotions get the best of you, you broke the number one rule of being in the BAU.”

“Those men were prepared to die at all costs, I just didn’t want them to get off that easy. I want them to pay for what they did to you, and this way, at least one of them will. Would you not have done the same? Did you not murder Foyet after he had given himself up because he had killed your wife and threatened your son?”

“Don’t.” He warns.

You scoff, “You have this God complex sometimes, Aaron, and it’s so frustrating. You can do whatever you want because you always have a reason and from your standpoint you’re always right. But whenever one of your toy soldiers falls out of line, it’s a different story--”

“What I did with Foyet did not put myself or civilians at risk.” He says firmly.

“You went in alone.” You said, “You didn’t wait for backup.”

He looks down and shakes his head, “You cannot compare what you did today to the things I’ve done because I would never endanger hundreds of innocent people just for some petty revenge.”

He thinks your eyes water, but it’s difficult to tell in the shower, “It wasn’t petty, Aaron. Not to me.”

He sighs and bends his forehead to yours, bringing both hands up to cradle your face, “Honey, I’m fine. You have to let it go.”

You close your eyes at his touch and lean up just slightly to capture his mouth with yours and as he sighs into your mouth you pull away, just slightly, “If it was me… If I was the one who was kidnapped and tortured in a country thousands of miles away, what would you have done?”

He swallows, and searches your face, “There wouldn’t have been a single protocol that I wouldn’t have broken to get you home safe.”

You nod, “I’m sorry. I understand why you’re upset, I put others in danger. It won’t happen again.”

He kisses you hard on the mouth, “You’re still suspended.”

You hum and he pushes you against the shower wall, his hand coming up to rest on your throat, “Are you going to punish me?” You asked breathlessly.

“Maybe.” He leans down and scrapes his teeth against your neck, hand tightening around your throat just slightly in warning when you squirmed. “I’m still angry with you.” He says, his eyes looking up to meet yours, tightening his grip on your throat again.

You can barely breathe through his grip, “For disobeying you?”

“No.” He says roughly, “For nearly getting yourself killed.”

You manage to swallow, “And that would have upset you?”

The desire immediately fizzles out of his eyes and he drops his hand, “Of course it would, how could you ask that?”

“I didn’t mean anything by it, I just…” You shrug, “I don’t know, forget it.”

“No,” He puts his hands on your shoulders to keep you from leaving, “Do you really think I wouldn’t have been upset if you died?”

“Aaron,” You say slowly, “You are the love of my life. But Haley was yours. And that’s okay, I don’t expect anything else, but it’s just a fact of our relationship that I love you more than you love me.”

He stares at you blankly for another moment, and then looks away to turn the shower off. He leaves you standing there, wet and naked as he climbs out of the shower and towels himself off silently.

“Aaron.” You say after he’s been silent for so long, stepping out of the shower and wrapping your own towel around yourself.

“You think there can only be one?”

You blink, “What?”

“A person can have more than one love of their life, you think you just get one and done?”

You frown, walking over to the bed and lowering yourself onto it, “Yes, that’s the whole concept.”

He scoffs at you, “I forget how young you are, you think you know everything there is to know about relationships, you have no idea.”

“Don’t patronize me.”

“Me?” He raises his eyebrows, “Don’t patronize you, you’re the one who just tried to convince me you know more about my feelings, about who I love than I do. That’s quite patronizing, wouldn’t you say?”

You look down at your hands, “I didn’t say anything that wasn’t true.”

He sighs and walks over to you, crouching in front of you, “Haley was the love of my life, that’s true. But in my head,” He swallows, “There’s the me from before Haley, and there’s the me from after Haley. And you,” He brushes his index finger over the tip of your nose, “Were the person who made the me after Haley believe I deserved love again. You are just as much the love of my life as she is and I have no idea where I’d be right now if I hadn’t met you.”

You finally give him a little bit of a smile, “Probably even more insufferably miserable than you are now.”

He chuckles and you relish in the sound, bringing your fingers up to lightly stroke his cheek, “I’m sorry. For everything today, being reckless, bringing up Haley… I’m sorry, I was out of line.”

“It’s okay,” He says softly, “But you pull a stunt like that again, I’ll fire you.”

“Yes sir.” You say, smirking as you lean in to kiss him, twining your arms around the back of his head. Gently, you tug and pull him back on the bed, on top of you and you feel him smile into your mouth.

Since you’re already naked from the shower, he can’t stop his hands from wandering across your soft skin. His hand grips your thigh, lifting up your leg and allowing him to squeeze your ass. You gasp into his mouth just the way he likes and he bites down on your lower lip. “Aaron,” You whine.

“Did you want something, sweet girl?” He whispers in your ear as his hand slides between your legs.

It’s not fair, he knows when he works you up like this it’s nearly impossible to get a coherent word out of you. You manage only to moan his name again as he slowly, torturously, rubs over you again. “Come on, baby, use your words.” He teases and you can hear the smile in his voice. Bastard.

He runs a single finger down your folds, “Should I make you come with my fingers?” He slowly dips a finger inside you, eating up your reaction as your mouth falls open and a moan claws its way up your throat. “Or,” He pulls his finger out and you glare at him, “I could do it with my mouth.” Your eyes roll back when he licks you and you physically ache at his touch. But then he stops, “Or maybe,” He crawls back up to kiss your mouth and you can taste yourself on his tongue, “I won’t let you come at all since you’ve been such a bad girl.”

“Please,” You whine, “Please, I’ll be good. I promise.”

When he pulls back to look at you, his pupils are blown out and you feel such a rush seeing your effect on him. “We’ll see.” He says softly and without warning thrusts into you. Your back arches against the mattress as you curse. When your eyes meet his, he has a look of such confident satisfaction it nearly makes you come undone right there. “I think,” He pulls out slowly, “I’ll take my time with you tonight.” He reaches up a hand and wraps it around your throat again, “Is this okay?” He says softly, breaking his role for the first time.

You nod, “Please.” You say again, knowing how he loves when you beg. He scans your face once and then he grins again, tightening his hand around your throat until you’re gasping. “Good girl,” He whispers in your ear and slowly pushes into you again, gently biting your ear.

“Baby,” You manage with what little air you’re able to take in. He immediately stops, taking his hands off you, but you shake your head and pull his hand back to your throat, “Harder.”

He sighs and shakes his head, “Fuck,” He curses, wrapping both hands around your throat, “You’re gonna kill me one day.”

And you smirk as he pushes down on your windpipe before slamming his hips into you at full force, you’re rapidly approaching climax, but Aaron can tell. You don’t know how he can tell, but he immediately slows his hips and takes his hands off your throat. You gasp at the sudden release and cough a little bit, “I didn’t tell you you could come.”

“I didn’t,” You say breathlessly, your heart hammering against your ribcage.

“You almost did, and you would have if I didn’t stop.”

“I’m sorry.”

He looks at you and tilts his head to the side as he watches you, “Turn around.” He says calmly.

You hide your smile as you do what you’re told, turning on your knees, letting your forearms and face fall to the pillow. He roughly pulls at your waist, repositioning you and pulling your ass up even farther. He runs a hand over your ass, “Look at you, so pretty for me.” He says softly before pulling back his hand and smacking it hard against your ass. You moan into your pillow and then he’s inside you, a fistful of your hair in his fist.

“Are you gonna be good for me?” He asks breathlessly.

“Yes.”

He slams into you roughly making you yelp, “And you’ll never disobey me again?”

You swallow, “Never.”

He releases your hair and leans over you, sweetly kissing your shoulder and you can feel his smile against your skin, “That’s my sweet girl.” He reaches his arm around your front and begins to massage your clit as he thrusts into you. “Come for me, baby.” He says and speeds up his movements. It’s all the permission you need and you’re immediately unraveling. It takes everything in you not to collapse onto your stomach until he’s also climaxing, brought to his edge by the pulsing of your walls. He swears and collapses fully onto your back, your knees giving way under his weight.

You both lay there like that, him resting on your back in silence for a few moments, catching your breath. Then, Aaron sits up quickly, hands searching your skin, “I’m sorry, baby, did I hurt you?”

“No.” You say, but he presses kisses all over your skin anyway, immediately entering aftercare mode.

You sigh sleepily and pull him to you, wanting to snuggle with him. He obliges, wrapping his arms around you and nuzzling into your neck. “I love you.” He murmurs into your skin, “So much.”

You hum, “I love you. Thank you for not firing me.”

“If you ever end up getting yourself killed I’ll never forgive you.”

You chuckle and kiss his temple, “Noted.”

[gubler-me-up]

Lost in Translation

Request(s): Hey :) Can i make a Spencer request? Something like that episode in Mexico, with a bilingual reader please <3 Like a trip and he realizes that the reader can speak Spanish, he's kinda mesmerized and she helps the team to get more information about the unsub

hey beautiful :) could u write something (literally anything) where the reader speaks another language or like they have an australian accent or smthg and they have to like translate for the team and spencer just thinks it’s the hottest thing in the world and then the reader gets real worked up and starts yelling in the other language and spencer is just like skdkdmend,,,,u don’t have to if u don’t wanna but like i love u sm ur amazing 

A/N: Thanks for the first request @cryingforwill​ and shout out to the anon who sent the second request! Can y’all believe this is my last fic of 2020? Being posted early? New year, new me (maybe)! Thank you to everyone who has been reading and supporting my work for the last four months of 2020 you literally ROCK 🗣 btw I am by no means bilingual (maybe a lil French but that’s it) so all the Spanish being spoken in this fic is straight from Google Translate so pls forgive me if it doesn’t translate properly and if you’re like me and don’t know Spanish pls have Google Translate on deck while reading

Couple: Spencer Reid/Fem!reader

Category: Fluff

Content warning: Swearing, semi-nudity, mentions of violence 

Word count: 2k

————-

It was rare that the team travelled abroad for a case but when an unsub was on the run to Mexico they had no choice to follow their tracks. The team landed in Mexico within a day of finding out the unsub had fled. They didn’t waste time scoping out places the unsub could possibly be according to eyewitness reports.

Unfortunately for Spencer he got stuck with surveilling at the beach with Morgan in the hot sun. They made sure to dress for the part by wearing swim trunks and sunglasses. Well, that’s what Morgan was wearing. Spencer opted to wear a white t-shirt,  brown khaki pants and a pair of black converse.

Morgan had begged him to change into something else so he wouldn’t stick out like a sore thumb. Spencer insisted that if he just stayed on the outskirts of the beach he would look like a tourist sightseeing. The explanation earned him an eye roll and look of disappointment from Morgan.

No matter the amount of disappointment Morgan felt, the surveillance plan went as planned. Morgan went on the beach to blend in with locals and tourists so he could ask people if they had seen the unsub as well as scoping the area for him. Spencer stayed just at the border of the beach surveilling the area. Whenever someone would pass by he would ask them if they had seen the unsub.

From a handful of people ignoring him to them just giving him a weird look, he felt as if he actually did look a bit weird in his attire. He sighed and decided it might be best if he did some surveillance from the car with his pair of binoculars. Before he could turn around to leave, a volleyball hit his feet.

He looked down and picked it up. He had no idea why he picked it up considering he didn’t know who to give it to. Even if he did he wouldn’t embarrass himself trying to hit it back to the person it belonged to. Volleyball was apart of his long list of sports he wasn’t good at.

“Hey, sorry, that’s mine.”

He looked in the direction of where the voice was yelling. He raised his eyebrows in surprise as he saw a gorgeous woman running towards him. He tried to be respectful and not stare for too long considering she was wearing a bikini. He didn’t want her to think he was a creep or even worse, the unsub.

She smiled as she made her way right in front of him. She held out her hands for him to give her back the ball. He looked down at her hands and then at his. He silently went “oh” as he realized he still had the ball in his hand.

“Sorry,” he said as he handed her the ball.

She looked him up and down with a questionable look. She looked back at his face. Spencer for sure thought she was going to treat him like the rest and pretend he just wasn’t there. To his surprise she smiled at him.

“¿Eres de eta zona?” She asked.

He shook his head. “No, no lo soy.”

She giggled. “Por la forma en que mataste tu sentencia, puedo decir que eres de los Estados Unidos.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Supongo que eras de la zona.”

She nodded her head. She reached into her bikini top. He watched carefully to see what she was about to pull out. He then realized there’s no way she could be hiding a weapon in her bikini top so he strayed his eyes away from her breast.

She saw how flustered he had become and laughed at how his pale face turned red. She pulled out her I.D. card to show him who she was. He looked at her surprised when he read her identification.

“My name’s Y/N Y/L/N. I’m originally from America myself but I opted to work for the Policía Federal after serving my time as a special agent at the FBI California headquarters. I’m here to be of assistance to you and your team, agent,” she said.

“How did you know I was-”

“My team was informed by your unit chief, Aaron Hotchner, that an unsub had crossed over to our borders, so we know everyone on your team. Also, no one dresses like that unless they’re undercover.”

Spencer looked down at his attire. He guessed Morgan had a valid point of him sticking out. She laughed and grabbed his hand to escort him onto the beach. He hesitantly held back.

“I hate sand in my shoes,” he complained.

“Well, you should have worn sandals. Aren’t you the genius of the group? Dr. Spencer Reid? How come you didn’t think of that?” She questioned as she yanked him onto the beach.

Spencer trailed behind her unwillingly. He could already feel the sand seeping into his shoes already. He would have been more upset but he was entering the beach for some reason Y/N hadn’t explained to him yet. Since she was on their side, there wasn’t a direct reason not to trust her.

“I wasn’t going to go onto the beach. My partner, Derek Morgan, is surveilling the beach,” he explained.

“The beach is the best part to surveil though. Seems to me you got the short end of the stick,” she said.

“It’s the stick I chose and I’m fine with it,” he said.

She giggled. “Tonto, tonto chico.”

“Uh, gracias?”

She led him over to an area where there was a blue beach towel set up with a cloth bag on it. She let his hand go and kneeled on the towel. He looked at her strangely as he watched her ruffling through her bag. She pulled out a bottle of sunscreen.

“Can you apply sunscreen to my back please?” She asked.

“I-I don’t know if-”

“Do you want to blend in or not, khaki pants?”

He looked down at his pants before looking back at her. She reached the bottle out to him and he didn’t feel as if he had a better option so he took it from her. She smiled as she scooted down to make some room for him to kneel behind her.

He went behind her and kneeled. He opened it up and squeezed a good amount on his hands. He rubbed his hands together before he started applying it to her lower back. He had to admit her skin was the softest thing he had ever touched.

“Crees que puedes seguirme si hablo español durante esta conversación?” She asked

“Intentaré,” he said.

“Excelente. Tengo un hueso personal que elegir con su sospechoso,” she said.

“Que hizo…Wait, what are you doing?” He asked.

Y/N reached one hand to the back of her bikini top and untied it. She held the front of it with her free hand so her breasts wouldn’t spill out, flustering Spencer anymore than he already was. She looked back at him with a smile as she saw him turn red again.

“You need to get the whole of my back,” she said.

“Uh…I guess?” He said.

“You sound unsure. Wait until you have to do the front,” she said.

“I what?” He choked.

“I’m kidding. We’ll save that possibility for another time,” she said with a wink before turning her head.

Spencer’s mouth was gaped open but he couldn’t find the words to say back to her. He honestly didn’t know what would be the appropriate way to respond to her. If Morgan was there he probably would have been even more disappointed by the way he was acting around Y/N.

“Your unsub, Eric Brown, almost killed my partner,” she said.

“I heard,” Spencer softly said.

“Ese hijo de puta nos sorprendió. Le disparó a mi compañero en el cuello y si no estuviera allí para evitar que se desangrara, habría estado muerto,” she said, gradually becoming louder in her tone.

“Lamento que tu y tu pareja hayan sido víctimas de él,” he said.

“¿Ser víctima de él? Si vuelvo a ver a ese hijo de puta voy a hacer que me caiga víctima,” she yelled.

He let her have her little moment because he knew how upsetting being in that type of situation could be. Even though he was upset for her, he couldn’t help think her yelling was tantalizing. It didn’t help he was enjoying rubbing her back with sunscreen and feeling her soft skin over and over again.

“Estamos aquí para ayudar en todo lo que podamos. Queremos hacer justicia a su pareja y a las otras víctimas de Brown,” Spencer said.

She turned around to look at him with a smile. He smiled back at her as he took his hands off of her. She looked down at the string that dangled at her side and then looked back at him. He didn’t need her to say anything and grabbed both strings on both sides of her to tie it around her back.

“Eres muy dulce, Spencer. Le devolveré el favor diciéndole esto: escuché de un informante hoy que Brown intentará esconderse en un carro de cargamento de drogas que se dirige a Cuba,” she said.

“Really?” He asked in shock.

“Sí. The shipment leaves in six hours, but the dock isn’t too far from here. If my hunch is right, he isn’t staying too far from the dock,” she said.

“Reid.”

They both looked up to see Morgan walking their way. Spencer immediately got up and dusted the sand off his pants. Y/N also got up and picked up all of her belongings off of the ground.

“Morgan, I-uh…I know what this might seem like but I was-um.”

“Hi, my name’s Y/N Y/L/N. I’m with the Policía Federal. I was informing agent Reid about Brown’s possible whereabouts,” she said.

“Yeah, apparently, he’s going to get on a drug shipment to Cuba in six hours,” Spencer whispered.

“He’s most likely hiding out somewhere north of Cancun,” she said.

“Great. Thanks for the information. Are your units scouting the area out?” Morgan asked.

She nodded. “Yes, but we’re not trying to penetrate the area directly. We have no idea what kind of people Brown has paired up with and he’s already attacked one of our own before, so we’re treading lightly.”

“Fair. I guess we’ll meet in six hours to catch him,” Morgan said as he reached out his hand.

Y/N grabbed it and shook it. “We definitely will, agent.”

As she let go of his hand, she looked over at Spencer. She smiled and reached out her hand. She noticed his hesitation to grab it, so she did him the favour and latched into his hand. She pulled him in and gave him a light kiss on the cheek.

“Gracias por aplicarme protector solar en la espalda. Tal vez después de atrapar a este hijo de puta, podamos ser más íntimos,” she said into his ear.

She pulled away from him and saw that confused yet intrigued look on his face again. She laughed before waving them both goodbye. They both watched as she walked off from their sight into the overcrowded beach.

Morgan flopped his arm around Spencer’s shoulders. Spencer looked at Morgan to see a grin spanning from ear to ear. He sighed as he already knew what Morgan was going to say.

“So you spent the time you were supposed to be surveilling rubbing on a hottie’s back?” Morgan asked

“How about we don’t talk about it?” Spencer said as he shrugged off Morgan’s arm and started to walk away.

“You can’t keep your secret move from me,” Morgan said as he walked behind him.

“What secret move?” Spencer asked.

“The “standing there out of place but yet attract all the ladies to me” move,” Morgan said.

Spencer smirked. “I would teach you if I knew why it happened.”

Morgan chuckled. “You know what, I think I’m more content with you finally not knowing an answer for something than I am with you getting a potential date.”

—–

MASTERLIST

Tagged: @shadyladyperfection, @slutforthegubes, @pinkdiamond1016, @spencerreidsthings, @itsmyblogandillreblogifiwantto, @slutforsr @bxtchboy69, @fallinallinmendes @haihappen5 @mgg-theprettiestboy @siltuz-png @ptrs-prkrs @tclaerh @agentadhd @alexmarie29 @closetedreidstan @mac99martin @blxckhearthood @jesspavlik0vsky @katexrichardson @keniaasf @reidbuck @corishirogane3 @thegoddamncrazycatlady @keniaasf @pastelbabygirl19 @shadybagelsludgecolor @bootycrackraisinjuice @vintagebeauty1496 @bluerose512​ @laneybobeczko-g​ @averyhotchner​ @littlewierdalien @cynbx @mggsprettygirl​ @jessalyn-jpeg​

[abraxos-is-toothless]

healing and feeling

My @aftgexchange gift for @bayta-darell !!! I’m so sorry that this is late, I went to post at the beginning of the posting week but I couldn’t find it anywhere. I’ve spent the week doing a rewrite. There was more of it (Kevin and Neil having a discussion) but I just wanted you to get something rather than nothing. I really hope you like it. A general foxes type fic where they do some healing.  Canon warnings apply- mentioned not detailed.

---------

Twenty minutes. Twenty whole minutes it took of the foxes remaining silent for Betsy Dobson to realise she’d have to make the first move if she wanted to make any progress at all here today.

“David first suggested this for you all once before and you refused, which I respected. I will not force anyone to talk until they are ready. But you’re all here today and I feel I should ask the nine of you, why now?”

Aaron watched as everyone not-so-subtly shifted their eyes to look at Josten who opened his mouth as if to speak before closing it again. He pulled his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them from where he sat on the floor by Andrew’s chair. There was a space next to Boyd on the plush yellow couch but well...

“This is the second time this week Neil has almost stabbed one of us.” Ah, Reynolds. Always making sure she got straight to the point. Matt glared at her, muscled arms crossed over his chest.

“I said it was fine, I startled him-”

“It damn well isn’t fine, Matt! Were you not a boxer with some good reflexes, he could have done some serious damage.”

Aaron watched them argue back and forth until Betsy politely cleared her throat, her calm, soothing smile never once leaving her face.  He admired the woman, he truly did; he couldn’t imagine dealing with people’s shit all day and managing to still look sane and collected. His own mind was enough of an asshole as it was. “I’m glad that we’ve gotten to why you’re all here, but I’d like for us to remain civil in these sessions. Talking about such things can be straining and I want you to remember you’re a team, that you’re friends.” Matt nodded and threw Neil a small smile and Allison simply flicked her hand, bright red nails catching in the sunlight streaming through the window. Aaron caught Neil bringing a hand up to rub at the scarring on his face but then Andrew’s hand came down to hold the back of his neck, thumb rubbing back and forth carefully and the tension Neil was holding in his shoulders eased up. His twin met his stare without faltering and simply raised a pale brow at him, as if daring him to comment. Aaron kept his mouth shut and turned back to Betsy. “Now Neil, would you be able to tell us what might have brought on these outbursts of violence?”

“I’ve always been this way, thanks to my mother.” Aaron saw Andrew’s jaw clench at the mention of Mary Wesninski; he knew well enough how his brother felt about abusive mothers. “But this is different. We lost our most recent game. We’re falling behind a little and if we don’t win the next game, we don’t get to progress any further.” Aaron couldn’t stop his mouth from moving, even if he had tried to.

“You’re telling me that Boyd almost got stabbed because we lost a game? Are you serious right now? It’s not the end of the fucking world!”

“It is for me!” He stopped and said nothing more, turning his face away from them all, ignoring their looks of confusion. He knew Josten loved Exy as much as Kevin, but he didn’t think such a thing was enough to stab someone over. Kevin sighed, eyes closing before he put his head in his hands. Neil’s jaw clenched and he stood abruptly, walking towards the door, Andrew following just a few seconds after. Betsy, bless her heart, she tried to reason with two of the most stubborn beings on the planet.

“Neil, maybe you’re not quite ready to talk, but we’ve only just-”

“I apologise, Dr. Dobson, but I can’t talk with you in the room. Anything regarding that part of my life cannot be discussed outside of the people who already know. I do not wish to implicate you.” The woman wrote a few things down; the scratch of the pen was loud to Aaron’s ears.

“Very well, then. Let David know when you’re all ready to come back, and we’ll schedule something between classes and practice.” Neil and Andrew disappeared out of the door and Aaron and the rest were quick to follow, but not before Renee, ever the peacekeeper, gave the woman a gentle smile and told her they’d see her next week. As if she alone could wrangle them all into another session. He made his way over to the mas with Nicky and Kevin, where Neil and Andrew waited, sharing a cigarette between them, and the upperclassmen left ahead of them in Matt’s truck. No one spoke until they were all in the car and on the move, and of course, it was Kevin.

“This isn’t a good idea.” Nicky leaned across the seats and over Aaron to bat at Kevin with one hand, all the while texting Erik on his phone in the other.

“Shut up. You don’t think that anything is ever a good idea unless it’s one of your ideas.”

“Neil I really don’t-”

“Enough, Kevin. I’m telling them and that’s final. I should have told them all anyway.” Kevin sat back with a huff and Aaron rolled his eyes at the idiot’s dramatics, staring out the window for the rest of the unusually quiet drive back to fox tower, except for the clicking of Nicky’s phone and the quiet giggles he would let out at whatever he and his fiancé were talking about. When they got there, Andrew found the closest parking spot to the building that he could, because his brother preferred not to do any more exercise than being an Exy player forced him to. The others hadn’t waited for them, not that Aaron thought they would have, but he thought at least Allison would have been standing at the doors so Neil couldn’t slip away and get out of telling them anything. 

They hadn’t, however, stopped themselves from taking over Aaron’s old dorm room he shared with the rest of the ‘monsters’ before he moved to Matt’s. Dan and Matt were sitting together on the couch, the former tucked into the latter’s side, Allison was lounging in a beanbag while she inspected her nails and Renee was sitting on the floor in front of the small and worn table, sorting Nicky’s nail polishes into some sort of order. “Now that you’re here,” Allison said without even bothering to glance in their direction, “let’s get to this secret you’ve been keeping from us, shall we?” Aaron watched Andrew move over to the window to sit on the sill, lighting up another cigarette. He knew there was no need to worry about the smoke alarm because Andrew had taken it out from the first day they moved into the room. It was clear he wasn’t bothered by any of this, at least Aaron didn’t think he was, which means either he knew what Neil was going to tell them all, or he had guessed early on and hadn’t pushed for a definite answer just yet. 

Kevin sat down in the other bean bag, although with how tall he was, he seemed to dwarf the bag. The sight was odd, considering that caused him to slouch more than a chair or the couch would have, something he would moan at the rest of them for when they did it. Nicky sat himself next to Renee, gushing over how she’d organised all of his colours, nodding so enthusiastically that his messy brown curls bobbed with the movement. Aaron went to lean against the wall closest to Andrew, who didn’t acknowledge him other than glancing at him out of the corner of his eye. They were better than they were before, Aaron actually managed to have whole conversations with his brother now and he was no longer hostile towards Katelyn, letting her come along sometimes when they went to Sweeties and Eden’s. He knew it would take time to have some sort of a stable relationship with Andrew but they were trying, and that was okay for now. 

Neil stood in front of them all, hands in the PSU foxes hoodie he wore, barely any emotion on his face, as he always was. No wonder he and Andrew worked so well together, Aaron thought, internally rolling his eyes. He got straight to it. “After Nathan was killed, all his debts with the Moriyamas fell onto me. The money my mother took when she decided that we should run belonged to them. In Ichirou’s eyes, they still own Kevin and Jean too.”

“What does this have to do with you turning into a murderous little rage machine?” Matt rolled his eyes at Allison. 

“I made a deal with Ichirou.” Dan dropped her head into her hands while Nicky made a choked off sound. Aaron was tired of Josten making dumb decisions and not telling them. This is what happened when the fucking idiot ended up at Baltimore. “I wanted something and to get him to give in to that, I said he could have the majority of our earnings when we went pro.”

“Wait.” Neil turned his head towards Kevin, who was outwardly confused now. “You said he wanted a take of what we earned, that I knew. But you didn’t say it was in exchange for something, what did he give you?”

“I wanted Riko dealt with and he was.” Aaron’s eyes widened at that, as did the others in the room. Kevin went deathly pale and he stood slowly, looking at Neil as if he didn’t even know him. He opened and closed his mouth several times before he gave up and disappeared to his room without a word. Aaron had a feeling there was a bottle of vodka waiting for him to drown his sorrows in. Allison looked mildly impressed. 

“We all knew the suicide story was suspicious, but I didn’t think you had it in you.”

“I wanted him to pay for what he did. I walked out of that room and I laughed. But that’s why the nightmares have kicked in and I’ve picked up old habits, like sleeping with a weapon under my pillow. If Ichirou notices any slack, he will kill me.” Aaron looked to Andrew again, and his brother was staring back at Neil, as if waiting for him to fall apart. Dan stood, determination on her face and a fire in her eyes. 

“Then we help you stay on top of the game. We’ll fit in an extra practice a week and on the free period you share with Matt, he can discuss drills with you.” Aaron saw Matt smile and nod, receiving a dip of Neil’s head in return. “We’ll tell Coach that we’ll have an evening a week at the court, watching old games and seeing what we can take from them. No one gets to ruin this for you, they don’t get to take anything else.”

Nicky whooped and got up to hug Neil quickly, after he got the consent for one. Aaron wasn’t too happy about all this extra work for a sport he wasn’t even that bothered by, but he supposed he owed Neil this. After all, he was the one, no matter how stupidly he went about it, that finally managed their rag tag group work as a team and to become friends. He brought them together, and so Aaron would do this

So that they could stay together. 

~~~~~

They did get better over the weeks, and they won their next game, letting them progress further into this season. 

The session with Betsy continued, though progress on that front was slow going to begin with. Neil’s confession had broken the ice, and each of them would discuss assignments they were struggling with or the odd everyday problems life gave you. Betsy never pushed them, allowing them to get used to talking first before she tried diving for issues hidden deeper down. 

After a few weeks, Allison discussed her parents when she had gotten a phone call from her mother out of the blue. Apparently, they had started to notice how the foxes were on the up and up, and how much more media attention they were getting. Allison’s mother wanted to use her daughter for her own gain, to get their businesses promoted through the foxes and for Allison to start building their incomes through Exy. Aaron didn’t understand a lot of it, other than that his teammate’s parents were some of the most self centred assholes on the planet. After all this time, they hadn’t gotten in contact with Allison to see how she was or to ask about working on their own family issues, but just to see how they could make life better for them. The blonde had said in the one session that she finally told them where they could stick it, and if they wanted to cut her off from the money they could. If they didn’t want to love her as parents should, then she wanted nothing to do with them. 

When Allison ended her rant with the words ‘fuck them’, the foxes repeated them- even Andrew, to everyone’s surprise -loud and clear. Betsy tried to be reprimanding, but Aaron could see she was proud and trying valiantly to not smile with them. 

~~~~~

Some months or so after that, Aaron was attending one of his sessions where it was just him and Andrew. It was coming up to a year now since they’d first started these double sessions with Betsy, and he wasn’t ashamed to admit he liked coming to them. Yes, sometimes it was bad and they’d end then arguing heatedly, or sometimes, it would leave them exhausted but content that they were managing to get on to the same page with each other. And other times, well, those times managed to bring their walls crashing down. 

Today was one of those times. 

“Aaron, you don't look as if you’re well. Is everything alright? If you’re unable to sit through this one, you may go back and rest if you like.” He knew he must look like shit, after the night he’d had with his mind torturing him, but he felt as if this is why he’d been so plagued by nightmares the last few nights. Like Andrew had to know about them. 

“Nightmares.” His throat felt raw and scratchy, but he supposed that was normal when you wake yourself up by screaming yourself hoarse. 

“Are you able to tell us what they were or about?” He nodded, turning on the couch so he was angled to the left, making it easier for him to look directly at Andrew. His brother seemed unfazed as he usually did, but Aaron thought there was something different about him today, though he didn’t quite know exactly what was different. Maybe he felt like today was going to be better for them, too. 

“I thought I was already awake, because I was walking around the house in Columbia. It was too quiet, and the house was dark, and it was almost as if I could feel the shadows closing in around my shoulders.” He breathing became ragged and clenched a fist where his hand rested on his thigh. “I thought I heard glass smash and the sound of a thud, like something had hit the hardwood floor. It was muffled, coming from upstairs so I followed the sounds.” He closed his eyes and swallowed hard; it was like he was back in the nightmare and he couldn’t get out. 

“Aaron? Aaron, you can stop if you want to.” He shook his head, feeling part of his hair fall onto his forehead. 

“The noise was louder up there, coming from your room.” He opened his eyes again, catching his brother’s gaze, hazel eyes that matched his own. And they knew, they knew where Aaron’s nightmare was leading them, yet he didn’t flinch away. “I opened the door and it was back to that day, and Drake…” Andrew did not outwardly show any reaction to the name of his abuser, though Aaron saw his fingers stray to the edge of his armband. As if it soothed him to know he had a way to keep himself safe. “When I tried to get in there, it was like there was an invisible barrier in front of me. No matter how hard I kept hitting it, it never went away. I kept screaming at you, to look at me, so you’d know I was right there but there was nothing.” His cheeks felt wet and brought a hand up to find that those were tears running down his cheeks. 

Andrew’s eyes had widened, and the hand that was holding his armband started to drift towards Aaron, but stopped just shy of making contact. He took a few deep breaths before he felt like he could go on. “I closed my eyes after a while but I didn’t stop trying to get to you. Then all of a sudden I could hear laughing, and when I opened my eyes, I was back in that shitty apartment, before you came and Tilda had locked me in the closet. She had her Junkie friends over doing all sorts of shit, music on as high as possible.” He felt like he could breathe, as though someone kept on piling invisible weights on his chest, one after the other. “I had one toy, a couple of granola bars and a bottle of Gatorade, of all things. No matter how loud I shouted for her, she never came to let me out. I woke up screaming after that, scared Katelyn half to death.”  He’d kept his gaze on the floor when talking about his mother, knowing she was a touchy subject between them. 

There was a quick tap to his knee and, a bit reluctantly, he lifted his head to look at Andrew again. His brother was breathing a little heavier, and Aaron could see the way his chest moved. There was more emotion on his face than he’d ever seen. When he was on the meds it was different, it was just a constant sort of forced excitement. This was real and this was Andrew. His twin. “I’m going to hug you, yes or no?” Aaron almost choked on air at the words. Words he’d never expected to leave Andrew’s mouth. He saw Betsy falter just a little out of the corner of his eye, her own stalling from where she was writing things down. 

“Yes.” Then slowly, carefully, Andrew shifted forward so he could pull Aaron into him. His arms went around Aaron’s back, and he hesitated just a little before doing the same. Their cheeks rested against each other and when Andrew spoke next, Aaron could feel the words against his ear. 

“We’re okay, you hear me? Both of us. We’re a little bit broken, but we’re doing okay.” Aaron nodded, taking a stuttered breath. And if the two of them, the same yet not the same, held onto each other for just a little longer then that was just fine. 

They were just okay.

---------

Again, I’m sorry about the lateness! Hope you liked it:)) I’m also sorry it’s not as long as it was, but trying to remember everything to rewrite was so difficult.

[walkerwords]

“The Savior Sessions” Part 26 of 33 - Negan x GN!Reader

IMAGE CREDIT: AMC

SERIES MASTERLIST

Summary: Sickness is spreading in Alexandria, the reader searches for their lost love, and Negan meets the silent enemy.

Word Count: 4433

Warning: Swearing, Mentions of Blood

Song I Wrote To: “In This Shirt” by The Irrepressibles

Note: I am getting really excited about the final few parts of this! However, we have a bit to go! All official dialog is property of AMC and Skybound. 

-----

Negan really hated Beta and he hadn’t said more than three words since they crossed paths. 

After crossing into the Whisperer’s territory, Beta had fallen upon Negan quickly, disarming and blindfolding him. Negan wasn’t sure if the giant man was going to kill him, so he kept talking in hopes that the Beta would take him to the Alpha to decide his fate.

“Look, man, I have spent the last eight fuckin’ years locked up by your enemy,” Negan said. “I want them dead as much as you do, hell, probably even more. Their old leader fucked me up good once upon a time ago and I haven’t been in a very forgiving mindset since. You take me to your Alpha and I will spill every goddamn secret I know about those fuckers and beyond.”

“Too much noise,” Beta snarled at him.

“Right, you people are all about the whole vow of silence thing,” Negan said in a mock whisper. “I get it, it’s freaky as shit, but I get it.”

“I should just slit your throat and be done with it,” said Beta.

“Been there, done that,” Negan said. “It didn’t stick.” Even behind the blindfold Negan figured Beta was reaching for the knives on his belt. He wouldn’t blame him if he did want to kill him.

Negan had only been back in “I am Negan” mode for all of twelve hours and he had already started to hate himself for it. However, he had a job to do and this was the first step in doing so.

“The Alpha will decide your fate,” Beta said as the Whisperers who had hold of Negan pushed him forward. 

“Fan-fucking-tastic,” Negan said. Beta whirled on him, ripping down the blindfold and Negan cringed at the sight of the man in the mask. Beta then shoved the cloth into Negan’s mouth tightly.

“Stop talking,” Beta ordered. Negan glared back at him and it was then that he could see what you must have seen as Beta stood above you with his hand on your throat. The thought of that, the thought of that monster’s hand on the person he loved, kept Negan on his feet and walking forward. He knew that you wanted to kill Beta, but Negan was starting to think that if you didn’t do it soon, he wouldn’t be able to stop himself. 

Beta dragged him through the woods and when they came across the main camp, Negan relaxed further, slipped on a cocky smile, and started to plan. 

-------

You and Carol were walking through the woods, both of you scanning for your respective targets.

You knew that she was looking for the horde and you didn’t care. All you wanted was to find Negan and if walking aimlessly around offered you some sort of clue, then you were going to do it. Daryl had tried to accompany her that morning, but you had stepped in and offered to go instead. Daryl was clearly worried about her, but you knew that she didn’t want comfort, she just wanted to work and find Alpha. 

You were more than willing to give that to her. 

That morning as you were getting ready to head out, you had stumbled across one of your emergency packs. You had begun to stash them around the house in case you had to leave suddenly with Negan. All three were accounted for which told you that he hadn’t even bothered to find one before he left. This only proved your theory that something was wrong and that he didn’t just leave.

On top of everything else, Aaron was now in contact with one of Alpha’s people. They called her Gamma and you didn’t like that he was speaking to her. If you had it your way, Gamma would be bleeding at your feet and not playing “frenemy”. 

“I can see your wheels turning,” Carol said as you walked beside her. Your sword was swinging on your hip as her bow was level in her hand. 

“I don’t think they’ve stopped since the world ended,” you said with a sigh.  Carol nodded in agreement. “Can we be honest with each other, Peletier?” you asked. 

“Always,” Carol said, snorting as you used her last name, something you always did when you first met her. 

“I think we both know that we’re out here for different reasons,” you said. 

“You always were the smart one,” Carol said. She then stopped walking and turned to you. “Are you going to tell me to back down?”

“I won’t tell you to stop hunting Alpha as long as you don’t stop me from taking out Beta.”

“He’s in your crosshairs, huh?” she said, continuing to walk. 

“I don’t know why he’s gotten under my skin, Carol. I do know that that motherfucker is going to die by my hand even if I have to bite his damn jugular out.” 

“Okay, Rick,” Carol said with a knowing look. 

“Michonne told you that story too?”

“I think everyone’s heard it,” Carol said. 

“I miss him so much,” you sighed as you climbed over a fallen tree. 

“What do you think he’d do if he was here?” Carol asked. 

“I think he would have shot Alpha the second she showed up at Hilltop.”

“I agree,” Carol said. “I feel like we’re running around with our heads cut off without him in this war.” 

“Maybe we can learn something from the past. We won the last war, I don’t know why this one would be any different.”

“Negan wasn't evil,” Carol said. This stunned you for a moment and Carol caught onto it. “Surprised to hear me defend him?” 

“A bit,” you admitted. 

“You remember my husband?” 

“Ed?” you asked. “How could I forget?” Carol’s dead husband was an abusive asshole that deserved what he got. You remembered how Shane was ready to throttle him and you were willing to help. Lori was the one to calm the both of you down before you murdered him. However, you knew that Shane had always been right about him. 

“My husband didn’t care about me or our daughter. Ed was a horrible human being who preyed on the weak. Alpha is the same way. She doesn’t care who she hurts and she is willing to kill women, children, and anyone to get what she wants. Negan...he had a code. I don’t know if that makes up for all the things he did, but in my book, he’s a better person than Ed or Alpha.”

“I wish more people shared those thoughts,” you said. 

“I can tell that you love him,” she said. “I can see it on your face and in your eyes. He’s...I guess he’s your sanctuary.”

“Is it wrong that I feel guilty for that?”

“For loving him?” she asked and you nodded. “No, (Y/N), it’s not wrong. I also want you to know that it's okay, no matter who it is.” 

“Ezekiel said the same thing,” you said. Carol smiled at that. You didn’t know exactly what had happened between her and the King, but you knew they weren’t speaking as much and you figured they weren’t even together at all.

It wasn’t odd when parents broke up after the death of a child. You had seen it enough when you were a teacher. Carol was strong, but you did worry about Ezekiel. 

“What’s your opinion on him, Carol?” you asked after a moment. 

“On Negan?” she asked and you nodded. “Well, I am never going to forgive him for Glenn or Abraham, but I see that he’s changed. I know that he cared about Carl, and in his own way, respected Rick. I also know that he would never lay his hand on a child or a woman and if it came down to it, he would die for Judith. I think that regardless of what he’s done, at least we know he knows how to be a good man even if he hasn’t always been one.” 

Nodding, you tried to keep your emotions in check, but the tears came quickly. You hunched over, feeling a loss and Carol grabbed you into her arms. 

“I have no doubt he will come home to you,” she whispered. “Do not lose faith, my friend.” 

“I need him,” you choked out. 

“I know, honey,” Carol said. “I know.” 

—————-

You broke off from Carol not that long after her words of comfort. 

Needing to be alone, you began the trek towards Hilltop. You weren’t exactly sure what you were looking for, but perhaps if you saw it you would know. Carol had mentioned that she wasn’t just looking for Alpha, but the horde as well. Daryl had seen it when Alpha had taken him to the cliff edge. The Whisperers had the largest weapon you could ever imagine and if they decided to use it, you weren’t sure many would survive. 

However, you had your own weapon. That is if you could find him. Thinking back to the first day that you had spoken to Negan in his cell, Michonne had said that Alexandria could use him. Not just for a mental punching bag, but because he had run a community unchallenged for years. The Sanctuary, while it was a symbol of hate for Alexandria and the others, it was still proof that some people were born to be in power. Negan was the best shot you had at getting into Beta’s head. The only problem was that Negan may not want to help, not when he had come so far to become a better man.

“And now I’m the one wanting to make him relive that past life,” you muttered as you moved through the trees. 

“Talking to yourself? Never a good sign,” a voice said. You recognized it immediately, turning towards the young woman who stepped around a tree. Enid leaned against the trunk, her knife on her hip and a large button-up around her shoulders. You recognized it as one of Alden’s shirts. 

“I think a little insanity is healthy,” you offered, causing Enid to smile a bit. “How are you?” you asked. 

“I’m getting there,” she admitted. You hadn’t spoken to her much since the fair. Here and there you would check-in, but you had been caught in Negan for months. That guilty feeling returned. “What are you doing out here?” she asked. 

“I could ask you the same thing,” you said. 

“I needed to get out before Alden wrapped me in plastic wrap.”

“He’s become a helicopter boyfriend?” you guessed, continuing to walk. Enid fell into step next to you. 

“That’s a nice way of putting it,” she grumbled. 

“Alden is just worried about you,” you said. “Rosita and Gabriel are doing the same with Siddiq.”

“Is he doing okay?”

“He’s been distracted with his daughter and I think that’s helping. Rosita says that he isn’t sleeping though,” you said. 

“Neither am I,” Enid said. “I can’t get the look of Tara’s face out of my head. Seeing her die and then what they did with her body…” You reached out and took her hand in yours.

“I am so sorry you had to see that,” you said. 

“I’ve seen people die before, but that… that wasn’t human, (Y/N),” Enid said. “I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep without the nightmares.” 

“I wish I could do something to help you,” you said. 

“You are, you’re talking to me and you’re still looking for the Whisperers,” she said. “That’s why you’re out here, right?” You paused, trying not to fully lie. 

“Right,” you said, but Enid could see right through it. 

“Or are you looking for Negan?”

“Can’t I do both?” you asked. Enid shrugged. Negan was a rough subject with Enid. He had killed Glenn who had become like a father to Enid in some ways. He had taken care of her when she didn’t think anyone wanted her around. When he was taken away from her, Enid had taken over as caretaker for Maggie and you knew that Negan wasn’t winning any popularity contests with the young woman. 

“How do you know he’s actually changed?” Enid asked, surprising you. 

“Everyone keeps asking me that,” you said with a sigh. “I don’t think it’s something I can just explain. It’s something you have to see.” 

“Why do you think he’s changed?” Enid asked. 

“Because he had to and because he wanted to,” you said without a second of hesitation. “Negan wasn’t always who we met all those years ago.”

“I wonder what changed.”

“His wife died and the world ended,” you said. “Some people are built for this kind of world, others have to adapt and change with it in order to survive.” 

“So, you’re saying that the end of the world turned him into a killer?” 

“It’s turned us all into killers, Enid,” you reminded her. Enid was quiet for a moment before she continued. 

“Alden once told me a story about him,” she began. “Alden wasn’t always with Negan, he usually just stayed at the outposts, but one day Negan went to visit. They all went out in search of people or supplies and they found a small family. It was a husband, his wife, and their two teenagers. Twins, I think. Alden thought that Negan was going to recruit the man to be a Savior and take care of the teens and the wife.”

“Did he?” you asked. Enid shook her head. 

“Alden said that Negan...switched when he noticed something. It wasn’t until he got closer that he saw what Negan did. The wife was covered in bruises, the kids too. These weren’t the normal ones you would get from running from Walkers either.”

“He was beating them,” you concluded. 

“Negan gave the man one chance to admit what he had done. I guess the husband drew a gun on his family, threatening to kill them. Negan ordered Alden and some other Saviors to grab the kids and keep them safe as he dealt with the parents. The wife began to beg Negan for help and that’s when Negan tackled the husband, knocking him out cold.” 

“Did he kill him?” 

“He didn’t have to,” Enid said. “The son of a bitch had gotten bit and was going to turn and then turn his family. Some sort of sick ‘together forever’ type thing. Negan got the family into the Sanctuary and kept them safe. The mom died about a year later from a respiratory infection.”

“And the twins?”

“Alden doesn’t know. They were around fifteen or so. Maybe they left, maybe Negan got them set up somewhere else, I don’t know. I just know their names: Adam and Olivia. I like to think they made it and they’re out there somewhere.”

“Why did Alden tell you this?”

“I think he was trying to convince me that not everything the Saviors did was bad,” she said. “I think he’s still worried that I see him as an enemy, but I never did. At least not since he helped us win the war.” 

“I wish I could say the same about my own Savior,” you sighed. 

“Can’t you?” she asked. 

“Enid, we both know that Negan and Alden are two very different people with very different situations,” you said. 

“True, but that doesn’t mean Negan hasn’t done his fair share of good. Daryl told me about Judith, all the times he’s saved her. Maybe he’s not lost after all.”

“You sound like Carl,” you complimented. Enid gave you a small smile at that. 

“I know that he would be completely on board with you and Negan,” she said. “I also know that he would be by your side right now looking for him.” 

“Negan wouldn’t have left if Carl was still here,” you said. 

“Why are you so sure that he left?” 

“Are you suggesting somebody kidnapped my boyfriend?” you asked, raising your brows. 

“Stranger things have happened,” she offered. 

“Your wisdom is very… Greene,” you said. 

“Well, Maggie did help me see this world differently. I think we could all use a little Rhee/Greene wisdom right now.”

“If you find some,” you said. “Pass it along alright?”

“You got it,” Enid said. Bumping her shoulder with your own, you took a deep breath. 

“I can’t imagine what she would think about me right now, En,” you said. “I can’t imagine the betrayal she would feel.” 

“(Y/N), listen to me,” Enid said. “We spend too much time thinking about what others would think instead of just being in the moment with the people around us. I lost my best friends to Alpha and I lost a piece of myself, but I still have Alden. I still have that person who loves me unconditionally. I think that is more important right now.” 

“I can’t stop the guilt,” you whispered. 

“(Y/N), you’ve lost too much to feel guilty for loving someone,” she said. Enid then continued on, letting you absorb her words. The sheer fact that Enid was saying these things to you made you even more confused. It began to make you wonder if your friends were actually coming around to the idea of Negan being a part of the community or if they were just worried for your sanity. 

If you were being honest with yourself, you didn’t know which was worse. 

--------

When you returned to Alexandria, you found that Siddiq and Dante were being overwhelmed. 

“What’s going on?” you asked as you walked into Rosita’s house. 

“I don’t know,” Siddiq said, “it looks like some kind of bug is going around.”

“Are you feelin’ okay, Doc?” you asked, reaching to feel his forehead, but he swatted your hand away. 

“I’m fine, but Ro is on bed rest for the time being. I’ve been trying to get her to sleep, but Coco is keepin’ her up as usual.”

“I will talk to her,” you said. “Go check on the rest of your patients before Dante passes out from exhaustion.” 

“Will do,” he said. 

“Hey, where’s Daryl? I didn’t see him when I came in,” you said. 

“I think he went out after Carol,” Siddiq said. With a roll of your eyes, you nodded. Of course, he did. 

As Siddiq went to go check on the others, you headed into Rosita’s room. “Alright, Ma’am, gimme the kid, I need baby time,” you said, reaching for the little girl. Rosita handed her to you without a question, sinking back into her pillows. 

She did look pale and tired and you knew that she knew she should be resting. However, she was trying to be supermom. You respected that, but you also needed your friend to sleep. Sitting down in the armchair by the bed, you held Coco close to your chest, gently rubbing her back. 

“Find him?” Rosita asked. 

“Not yet,” you whispered, resting your eyes. “I did run into Enid, though.”

“Is she doing any better than Siddiq?” she asked. 

“Not really,” you said. “She’s having nightmares.”

“So is he,” Rosita sighed. “I’m worried about him.”

“I know, I am too,” you said. Siddiq was always the voice of reason. He reminded you a lot of Herschel. It was no wonder that Carl saw the kindness in him as soon as he met him. 

“(Y/N), about Negan,” Rosita began, but you shook your head. 

“I can’t right now,” you said. “People have been giving their opinion on him since we got home from the fair and even more so now that he’s gone. I just need to sit here and hold your girl so you can get better. Please.”

“Okay,” Rosita whispered, curling into her side so she always had eyes on Coco.

“Rest, mama,” you said. “You need it and I got her.”

“Thanks,” Rosita whispered as her eyes fell closed.

“Any time, Ro,” you said as he pressed a kiss to Coco’s forehead and settled into the chair, propping your feet up on the bed. It didn’t take long for you to relax and for the little Espinosa to fall asleep. As you set there, you focused on the small breaths of the baby and wished for a miracle. 

---------

From gravedigger to pig hunter, Negan was not having a good day. 

He was especially missing you and following the skins around all day was starting to give him a headache. The only thing that was keeping him going was a trinket that was tucked into his pocket. It was something he had taken from your house the last time he had been there. It was a small marble that you kept on the mantle of your fireplace. You had told him that you had found it the first time you visited the Kingdom. It was black and white which reminded him of you and him. 

He wondered if you had even noticed it was missing. Though, he figured that you were beyond pissed right now and a missing marble wouldn’t exactly mean much. Rubbing his thumb over the smooth token, he continued to follow the asshole in front of him. 

He and Beta were butting heads at every chance they got. He knew that the bastard didn’t like him, but he didn’t really give a shit. He wasn’t there to make friends with him. He just wanted the damn Alpha. However, that was proving to be a bit of a problem. 

Beta was testing him and he hated every second of it. Beta, however, seemed to be enjoying himself as he tortured, tested, and talked down to Negan. The latter had been around assholes his entire life and while Beta was a dick, when it came to being scary, he didn’t even touch Rick Grimes. Although, at least Rick would actually talk to him. 

“I just don’t see the point in all of this,” Negan said as Beta led him through the dark woods. Beta just continued to ignore him. Negan had been playing Whisperer custodian all day and he was tired of it. Now, Beta had him wandering through the dark for some reason and Negan was already annoyed. 

“Clearly,” Negan continued, “we are not jivin'. And, you know, to be honest with you, I totally understand the position you're in. You gotta be, like, the tough guy and keep everybody in line. I mean, hell, you know, I had guys just like you to keep my shit tight. Alright, maybe not just like you.” 

Beta’s jaw clenched, but Negan went on. “Uh, hell, if I had some monster your size, things would've turned out different. For one, I wouldn’t be lacking as much Vitamin D.” Beta didn’t get the joke. “Look, whether you like me or not, I will be joinin' this team, so maybe we should find a way to get along, you know, and stop pissin' on each other's boots.”

“You will never be one of us,” Beta sneered, getting into Negan’s face. “You’re too loud, too weak, too full of ego.”

“Some people like my damn ego,” Negan offered. 

“You are a waste, and Alpha will see it.”

“So, cards on the table, then? Cool. I dig that. See, I'm not here for you. I am here for Alpha. So, you go ahead, and you throw your little tests at me and you scowl and throw me on the ground like a five-and-dime Frankenstein. I don't give a shit,” Negan shot back. “See, big man, I ain't goin' anywhere.” Beta stopped walking and properly faced his antagonizer.

“Finally, something we can both agree on. You won't be going anywhere,” Beta said as the growls of Walkers echoed around them. The Dead stumbled towards them and Negan, who was weaponless, only got more pissed.

“Wait a minute. Did you just make a Goddamn joke? I would be impressed if I wasn't so pissed off right now,” he said. Beta then shoved him back towards the Walkers as he faded into the shadows, leaving Negan to the Dead. With a grunt, Negan turned to face his rotting enemies. “Oh, you have got to be shittin' me.”

------

Negan was covered in blood and the smell of rotting flesh, but he was alive. 

And he was pissed. 

Negan had fought for years. He knew how to kill in all sorts of ways and he knew how to kill Walkers. However, being thrown into that small herd with nothing but his bare fists had nearly killed him. The only thing that kept him going was you. 

He thought back to the training sessions, you, Lydia, and he had done in the living room of your home. The hand-to-hand and weapons training was important, but then there was what Lydia had brought to the table. The number one thing that her mother had taught her was how to improvise in a dire situation. Anything could be a weapon and only you were the one capable of getting yourself away from death. 

Negan had ducked and pushed his way through the Walkers, dodging their teeth and hands the best he could. When he spotted the fallen branch on the ground, he had laughed and picked it up. It wasn’t Lucille, but it would do. As he faced down the Walkers in front of him, he grinned. 

“Lydia, give me strength,” he whispered as he swung. 

Now, as every Walker was in pieces and he was drenched in blood, he strutted back into camp. Just as Beta was explaining to Alpha that Negan was dead, he made his appearance. 

“I'm ready for my Goddamn skin suit!” he announced as he walked between Whisperers, the branch on his shoulder. “You best bring that extra-long tape measure on account of my humongous balls.” He spotted Alpha immediately. She was looking at him with curiosity and as much as he hated to admit it, Lydia had had that same look when she first met him. 

Approaching the Alpha, he dropped the makeshift weapon and dropped to his knee in front of her. Alpha looked at him as if he was prey, but he didn’t back down. 

“Hi, I'm Negan,” he said with a cocky grin. “We haven't formally met, but I sure as hell know who you are. And whether my reputation precedes me or not, I'm all in.” Alpha reached out and pulled a piece of flesh off his shoulder. “Whatever you want, whatever I got, it's yours.”

Alpha leaned forward then and placed a finger on her lips. “Shh,” she said and Negan just grinned back, knowing he had cast the line, all she had to do was bite.

TAGS: @lucillethings​ @cameronsails​ @stark-dreams​ @amaroho​ @thanossexual​ @yes-sir-hotchner​ @boom-bunny​ @delusionalteenagewhispers​ @scootankle​ @ritajammer21​ @writteriguess​ @tea-atfive​ @jennydehavilland​ @waspyyy​ @yespleasejayhalstead​ @hoemadegrace​ @writingdeadangel​ @huffledor-able541​ @pulplorrd​ @felicisimor​ 

[simonsrosebud]

Dalton + the foxes spring break trip

this was one of the first prompts sent for kalton and i’m SO SORRY that it took me this long, anon!! almost a month, now!!  okay that’s not really that long but still, i kept saying i’d have it and NOW I FINALLY DO!!!  (and she long too)

dalton’s sitting in the lounge while kevin gets his spring physical when allison comes through the room.  she backtracks when she sees him, and sits on the arm of his chair.

“getting excited for spring break?”  she shrugs her one shoulder at him.

dalton shrugs.  it might be nice seeing the girls.  “sure, might go home for the week.”

allison frowns.  she leans away from him and grabs his shoulder.  “you’re not coming to florida with us?”  and looks the other way when kevin comes out of abby’s room.  “did you not invite dalton to florida?”

kevin stops.  fuck.  “i was going to.”

dalton starts to smile.  “he definitely wasn’t.”

allison looks between the two of them and stands.  “okay, well, if this causes drama please call me over?  i’d hate to miss it.”  she sends a wink dalton’s way and heads into abby’s room for her spring physical.

dalton stands and grabs kevin’s hand to lead him back out to the car.  “i don’t care that if you don’t invite me, kev.  me hanging with your friends makes you nervous, but keep in mind that andrew approves of me?  remember the date to the zoo?  i know he’s who you’re actually worried about.”

kevin knows this.  god, he knows.  he remembers their double date to the zoo with andrew and neil- as awful as it was because animals make him nervous.  but it was obvious that andrew approved after he talked to dalton after the winter banquet, and neither were harmed or fazed.

kevin’s still trying to get the scoop on  that.

but he still can’t promise the foxes will behave, and a week with them without a way to get out?  scary.  it’s not like they’d be able to just go to dalton’s.

plus, the night they got him wasted and spilled some of kevin’s secrets still haunts him.

“i’ll think about it.”

two days later, kevin stops by dalton’s classroom before they start.  “you can come, but i’m not letting you do shit just to please my friends.  they’re assholes and we both know it.”  that’s fair.  kevin lowers his voice.  ”if they cross a line and you don’t call them out on it then they’ll keep going, and you won’t be having sex for the rest of the month, and i find you won’t like it.  got it?”

dalton’s smiling.  kevin’s 100% serious, and dalton knows he won’t hesitate to hold up his bargain, but he doesn’t care.  it’s wickedly entertaining regardless.  “yes sir.”

kevin nods, and goes to leave.  halfway out of the room he turns.  dalton’s students always watch him like hawks, but he’s used to it by now.  “i’m serious, miller.”

the house is bigger than their first spring break house.  it’s beach front, and if they have neighbors within a mile then kevin surely can’t see them.

he and dalton get one of the two bedrooms on the top floor.  it’s them, and allison in the room beside them.

the first day they’re there, after everyone’s settled, the drinks immediately start flowing.  dalton starts to get more clingy, and at one point they disappear for two hours.

when they come back, changed and showered, dalton sits on the sofa tucked into kevin’s side.  allison points a drunken finger at dalton.  “i’d ask you why you left, but i could practically hear you guys fucking just going up the stairs!”  she sticks a finger to her mouth to fake gag.

kevin’s not one to talk about his sex life with this crew.  and dalton knows this, but kevin can see a snarky remark brewing in his head anyway, so kevin decides he can indulge his boyfriend this once.  “just because you’re not getting dick doesn’t mean i can’t.”

nicky chokes on his drink.  “no way is kevin a bottom!”

a few wads of cash silently get handed to neil while the group reacts to his comment.

matt turns to look at them.  “eh, i guess i can see it.”

“me too,” dalton says.

aaron gags.  “i’d rather die than continue this conversation.”

the next day is going well until lunchtime when kevin, nicky, andrew, aaron, and himself are in the kitchen.  dalton has offered to make the sandwiches for the beach so long as in exchange for not having to drag one of the coolers down onto the sand.

“okay but for real, how do you put up with kevin?  we lived with him, but i can’t imagine dating him.”

“the same way i couldn’t imagine dating you, but erik can.”

aaron steals a piece of cheese from the pack.  “i’d pay someone to kill me.”

“you guys realize he’s sitting right here?”  dalton glances to kevin sitting at a stool to the island.  he looks unbothered.

nicky shrugs.  “yeah, but he’s used to us teasing him.”

“cause he knows he’s an asshole.”

“does he get pissy when you try to talk about anything other than exy?”

“he was an uptight dick when he first stopped drinking.  how does it feel to date an alcoholic?  kevin, how does a vodka sound?”  andrew raises a brow.  dalton notices kevin stiffen just a bit.  that one stung a little.

dalton clenches his hand on the knife and stops what he’s doing to look at andrew.  “you remember our talk, andrew.”  andrew stops.  “don’t talk to him or me like that ever again.  i don’t cross your lines, don’t cross mine,” he says.  “yes or no?”

andrew is still for a solid minute.  dalton knows he respects him just enough to stop when he says no.  dalton has proved himself, and andrew knows he isn’t intimidated by him.  kevin doesn’t even have that from andrew yet.

plus, dalton learned pretty quick how to speak his language.

which is why dalton waits for the nod he knows will come.  “i’ll indulge.”  and leaves the kitchen.

when he does he looks to the other two.  “tease me all you want, i’ve got tough skin, but insult my boyfriend or my relationship to my face again and we’re going to have real problems.”  he continues making the last sandwich of the bunch, his own.  “after all, aaron, i’m sure you don’t like it when the foxes all question why on earth katelyn would a simple minded seemingly homophobic dick when there are plenty guys on the football team that would kill for a chance with a cheerleader.”  he shrugs and takes a bite of his sandwich.

nicky looked guilty before, but after that he tries holding in a shit eating grin as aaron storms away.  when neil comes in a moment later confused, he asks, “why’s he pissed?”

“dalton came at his neck.”

neil, a little alarmed, takes a step away from dalton.

“that means he called him the fuck out on his bs, neil.”

oh.

“for what?”

dalton doesn’t care to stay for the rest of it.  he’s finished making sandwiches, and kevin looks smug where he’s sat.

“do good enough to keep sex for the month?”  dalton whispers and kevin tries not to laugh.  instead he takes dalton’s hand and leads him to their bedroom.

the next incident comes from the water balloons that dalton had brought.  no one notices they’ve disappeared until andrew comes through the house with a straight face and a bucket full of them.

he stands on the balcony that afternoon, pelting whoever went out on the deck with balloons.  and when dalton comes out with a few of his own he throws them right back.

but then neil comes out with more of his own, and matt joins neil’s side with a water gun.

dalton’s face falls.  “oh- oh this was not supposed to happen.”

as the attack starts, he tries to get back inside, but kevin is standing on the other side of the sliding door with a cocky grin, waving at him.

and the door’s locked.

“kevin!”

kevin cocks his head.  “i can’t hear you, d!”

dalton gawks, but then gasps when a bucket of ice water is dropped over him.  he looks up at neil leaning over the deck railing and laughing his ass off.  it’s a good thing he considers neil a friend.

kevin opens the door.  “sorry, i think the door must have been locked.”

dalton glares, and chases kevin soaking wet through the house.  when he grabs him by the thighs he lifts and throws him over his shoulder. 

“put me down or i- dalton don’t you dare throw me in the pool!”  he shouts when dalton runs out the door again.  and kevin shouts and grips onto dalton’s shirt as he jumps into the pool with kevin over his shoulder.

when they come back up kevin gasps and latches onto dalton.

“kev, i can’t carry us both!”  dalton jokes, kicking his legs to stay afloat.

kevin tries not to show his panic for a second.  he can’t touch the bottom.  “oh my god.”  his arms tighten around dalton’s neck, “i never learned how to swim,” he whispers.

dalton swims to where kevin can hold on to the ledge.  they’re both in their clothes, kevin even has socks on.

“you can’t swim?”

kevin shrugs and pulls himself out to sit on the concrete.  he peels his socks off, then his shirt.  dalton takes his shirt off, but he’s wearing swim trunks so he stays in.

“we never had the luxury of going to a pool or beach, i’ve only been to the beach a few times since i’ve come to south carolina.  i never go deep enough that i can’t touch.”

dalton holds a hand over his forehead to block the sun from his view.  kevin kind of looks like a god, backlit like this.

or an angel.

anyway…

“do you want me to teach you?”

kevin scowls a little bit, more to himself.  “don’t need to give them another reason to come at me.”

dalton nods.  he gets it, the foxes are a tough crew and kevin doesn’t always tell them when they’ve hit a nerve.  he just gives a “fuck you” and insults them back instead of telling them that he doesn’t like when they do ______.

to each their own.

but that night, dalton tells kevin to put his swim trunks on and meet him outside.  he’s in the pool when kevin opens the door.  “you know it’s like three in the morning, right?”

“you were up anyway.”

“sure, but not to go swimming.”  kevin sits on the edge of the pool.

dalton swims to him.  “what will it take for you to let me teach you to swim?”

kevin rolls his eyes.  he’s not doing this right now.  “d, i don’t go swimming.  there’s no point, really.”

“what if you’re on a boat and it sinks?”

“life jacket.”

“and if there’s not enough?  remember what happened in titanic?”

kevin glares.  they sit in silence for a minute, and eventually kevin looks his way again.  “what do you want me to do?”  he mumbles.

dalton pushes away from the wall.  “just swim to me.”

kevin stands.  “that’s not really teaching- oh!”  andrew rams into kevin to shove him into the pool, and dalton can’t really say he expected that, but it doesn’t surprise him once he registers it.  he knew andrew was awake when he passed him earlier.

andrew walked into the living room with a book in his hands, and stopped when he’d seen dalton.  “go to bed.”

“i’m waiting for kevin.”

“no fucking on the sofa, i’m not leaving.”  he said, and plopped down on the loveseat.

dalton kind of stammered for a second, and stood when kevin texted him back omw.

“i’m, no, we’re just going in the pool.”

andrew already had his book propped open.  “he can’t swim.”

“i’m gonna try to teach him.”  he’d said, and that was the end of it.

kevin gasps when he comes up from underwater, and on instinct swims to the edge of the pool and pulls himself out.  he goes to yell at andrew, but he beats him to it.  standing there, dry, andrew wipes a single splash droplet from his bicep.  “you can swim.”  and leaves.

dalton is grinning when kevin turns back around.

“i-i didn’t, i was already at the edge.”

“you swam like five feet, kev.  i think you’re capable of swimming, you’re just scared.”

he is not scared.  of water, for christ sake.

when dalton convinces him to get in the pool again, it’s just shallow enough that kevin can stand on his tip toes if he needs.  dalton is waiting on the other end.  kevin feels like a child.  “this is stupid.”

“just do it, and we can go have sex.”  and kevin isn’t even in the mood, because he’s still annoyed at andrew, but he’s not a coward anymore, so he ducks underwater and swims to his boyfriend.  when he gets close enough, dalton grabs his hands and pulls him the rest of the way.

kevin is smiling, a little.

he feels accomplished.  dalton isn’t stupid.

“okay, i didn’t include andrew in that, i promise, but at least we know you do know how to swim.”

and kevin literally has his lips on dalton’s.  he doesn’t want to think about andrew.  “shut up, please.”  and kisses him.

the only people who really get more color from the beach kevin, nicky, dalton, matt, dan, and allison.

neil’s is a special case, because while he gets tan, it’s only his legs, face, and arms to which he gains a wicked farmers tan that everyone teases him about.  he doesn’t really care.  you can only tell if he lifts his short sleeves, and since he never goes shirtless or wears tank tops, he can hide it.

aaron gets sunburnt, but that doesn’t count.

nicky claims that aaron always gets burnt, and that he’s never seen so much as a single patch of red skin on andrew.  only that he gets a little tan, sometimes, in the summer.

andrew decides not to let him be proven right (even though he is) and conceals himself under an umbrella, so no one knows for sure.  his armbands stay on, of course, and no one else is allowed to use his shade but neil and renee.

dalton plays football on the beach with matt and goes boogie boarding with neil and dan at one point.  and one day he surprises the group by saying that they should go surfing.

“you know how to surf?”  kevin flips his sunglasses up to look at his boyfriend clearly.  “since when?”

“we used to go on vacation to florida a lot, my grandparents used to have a condo.”

“and you surfed?”

“i mean, i’m no expert.”

kevin doesn’t care.  he’s seen surfers in motion.  it’s hot.  he wants to see dalton out there straddling a surf board.

but no one else knows how to surf, and they don’t feel like learning.  “we could go horseback riding like last year?”  dan offers.

dalton notices neil grimace.  kevin groans into his arm.  “what?”  he mumbles.

“i don’t trust large animals.”  he lifts his head up and points a finger at him.  “don’t make a comment.  that’s a perfectly valid argument.  they’re not to be trusted.  imagine if that thing kicked you in the face with a metal hoof?”

“aw, alright, it’s okay baby kevin,”  he pets kevin’s head, and jumps up and squeals when kevin lunges.  he tries to run, but falls behind tripping in the sand.  kevin grabs him from behind and jumps onto his back. 

dan turns to the group really quick.  “we all like dalton, yes or no, show of hands?”  everyone but aaron and andrew raise their hands.

neil looks back at him.  “andrew likes him.”

“aaron’s just still pissy that dalton told him to knock off the bs a few days ago.  he’s a yes.”

dan nods.  matt wraps an arm around her shoulders.  “man, i know kevin’s a pain in the ass, but it’s always just been his paranoia and anxiety.  the dude’s a little more fucked up than some of us.”

“that’s not necessarily relevant,” aaron says.

“no, i mean.”  matt shrugs.  “dalton’s good for him.  i think he’s helped a lot with that stuff.  he’s a good support system for kevin.  and a happy kevin is like the happy wife happy life thing, no?”

“you got that right.  plus, dalton’s not bad to look at.”  aaron kicks nicky’s foot.  “i’m allowed to acknowledge when someone’s attractive.  don’t tell me you don’t look at megan fox and go hm, she’s not bad to look at.”  aaron rolls his eyes.

allison looks out to kevin and dalton in the ocean.  they’re standing at almost chest deep, and dalton has one arm draped over kevin’s shoulder, keeping him steady, and the other pushing kevin’s hair from his forehead.

“this week was really fun.”

“i probably would’ve been annoyed at them all week without you here.”  dalton raises his eyebrows.  “you ground me.”

that makes him smile.  “i’m glad.”

kevin kisses him, and he means for it to just be chaste, but he goes in again because he can’t help himself.  and because he can.

dalton starts to smile against his lips, and slides a hand to the back of his head, through his wet hair.  “love you.”

kevin hums.  “i love you,” he mumbles, and when he pulls away he wraps himself around dalton in the water and drops his head on his shoulder.  thank god he invited him.

[aesthbaby]

Attention

Summary: Emily is in love with you, an agent from another division. What will happen when you’re involved in a case?

Pairings: Emily Prentiss x Plus size reader

Request: right here I’m going to be writing this request twice because this is the female reader version and I wanna be inclusive so I’ll write a gender neutral one too. This is only PART ONE. Part two should be out on either the 11th or 12th

Warnings: Cursing | Mild descriptions of a fictional case

Wordcount:1k

Masterlist

“Agent y/l/n will be presenting the case.” Agent Hotchner announces while walking into the conference room. You glance over to your girlfriend but say nothing since the team doesn’t know you’re dating. (Or that she’s gay.)

You quickly glance over to Penelope. “Sorry Pen.”

“You’re fine. Guess I’ll have to learn how to share at some point.” She smiles up at you while patting your arm. You flinch at it for some unknown reason. That was weird.

“Agent y/l/n is on loan to us from the Arts and Communication division. Some of you may know them from the times our cases crossed. Today, they’re here to assist us on our latest hate crime case.” He nods for you to start.

“So far we have five female victims from age 21 to 40. Cause of death is a  poison called Strychnine. Delivery method has drastically varied.” You click a button on the remote and images of the deceased appear. “The local M.E. determined Jenna Marshall, 24, had the chemical laced in her food. Second victim, 32 year old Maria Nino, absorbed it through her skin. Same for our third victim  Alexandra Cordon, age 27. Our fourth victim, 40 year old Kelly Jones, had it injected directly into her blood stream.” 

The young doctor of the room interrupts you. “Injected?”

“Yes Doctor, Injected.” You put another image on screen. “She was a high functioning heroin addict; somehow the unsub got it into her stash.”

“High functioning?” That came from the darker Agent whom you’ve only met once.

“Yes. Miss Jones was a Criminal Defense Attorney with a 63% success rate.”

“What were the occupations of the other victims?” JJ, the blonde mom asks.

“Marshall was head chef at the four star restaurant Sundial. Mrs. Nino was a dentist at Shrinner Dental, Cordon was a freelance I.T. specialist, and our fifth victim, Debe Oxe was a Flight Engineer.”

“All high paying jobs...” Agent Rossi trails.

“Could money have been the motive here?” Morgan brainstorms.

“I thought the same thing until...” You scroll to the full length pictures of the women. “I realized that they all have the same body type. That’s where the Hate Crime part comes in.” As a dull silence fills the room you realize that they’re no longer looking at the screens. “Is something wrong?”

“Y/l/n,” Emily starts. “They all look like you.”

You let out a short laugh at that. “No they don’t.”

Everyone just looks at you funny. Then Morgan speaks up, “Similar hair color, same eye color, and not to mention body type.”

“No. Victim number two has lighter hair.”

“But only by a shade or two.” Jareau adds.

“Like Morgan said, its the eye color too.” Penelope contributes. “Can’t deny that.”

“There’s seven billion people in the world. A lot of people have my eye color.” Agent Hotchner is shockingly silent during this whole ordeal. 

“Actually its 7.8 billion.” Reid corrects you.

Derek looks like he wants to say something so you quickly interject. “Agent Morgan, all due respect, if you say me and the rest of the victims have the same shape, I will take offence.” You were joking of course, but he doesn’t know that.

“No no I wasn’t saying that.” He stutters.

Emily says something but everything’s all jumbled. Like your head is underwater.

“Y/l/n.” Hotchner calls your name firmly.

It scared you for some reason. Then your jaw felt kind of tight so you barley choke out a, “Yes--sir?”

“What do you think about Agent Morgan’s theory?”

What do I think? I think he’s a total douche for calling me fat. Shit...what’s wrong with me? He didn’t even say that. “It was highly suggestive of him to propose that the victims resemble me.” Everyone is still looking to you to respond like you didn’t actually say anything. Then it dawns on you, you didn’t. You just said that stuff in your head. Shit, the symptoms.

Your jaw is so tight and the back of your neck is starting to ache. Its getting harder to breathe. “I don’t-” You reach around to the back of your head and rub it gently. Muscle pain and soreness.

You can hear Reid’s voice in the distance but you’re not comprehending anything. Agitation.

Penelope’s arguing with Morgan about something. Apprehension or fear.

Hotchner is attentively listening to their consultations. Ability to be easily startled.

Jareau is flipping through the case file while talking to Rossi. Jaw tightness.

 You hear your name being called but its like you can’t respond. Then you see Em staring at you. You suddenly feel everything crashing down on you at once. Your stomach is doing something funny and now your throat feels like its burning. That wasn’t one of the symptoms. Its not the same feeling as burning but more like cold. I’m not even making sense anymore. You’re scared, something doesn’t feel right. Fear. You keep repeating the symptoms in your head, hoping you’re missing a few and that this cannot be happening to you. You pop an eye open and see that the agents are still talking. You’re trying to call for help but its like the wind has been knocked out of you. Difficulty Breathing.

“I-” As soon as you can choke something out you feel something rising in your throat. You double over in pain and watch as your insides tumble out. All you see is red, feeling bad for whoever has to clean this up. I should do it, shouldn’t I? It feels like your entire body is giving up on you, your head isn’t working right, and you overall feel like complete shit. When you open your eyes again you spot Emily’s shoes running towards you. You look back at the floor, clutching your abdomen. Is that my blood?

Everything goes black.

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･**･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*˚✧₊⁎ ⁎⁺˳✧༚ ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･ﾟ･*:.

Taglist  (Like my Emily taglist to be added, or you can send me an Ask located in the top right corner of my profile. You can also ask to be removed if you’d like)

@iamyouknow-yours @mortallythoughtfulgurl @spencerreidistoocute @andreaxxg13 @vivianabakshani @garcias-batcave @davidrossiismydad @ssacandi-ass-prentiss @criminalmindsmoodrn @miidguardian-exe @thestrawberrygirl @lisztomaniacalice @aaron-hotchner187 @fanfictionfangirl04 @mys2425​ @afuckingshituniverse @nomit16 @rabid-wild-misfits @justaghostmonument @ millipop18 @supercorp8388 @groovygoob @emilyprentisswife @thiscovetedcoven Some of these don’t work anymore so i have to update the list again : (

[stxrrywildflower]

out of the old (1)

pairing - spencer reid x reader

summary - you think about quitting the bau

warning - cursing, mentions of case

series masterlist

everyone in the bau had their breaking point.

for some, such as former agents jason gideon and elle greenway, they snapped and left the organization as a whole. for others, such as emily prentiss and aaron hotchner, they had taken a leave of absence before returning and relying on their bau family.

but you, you had no idea where you were. all you knew is that you had reached your own personal breaking point.

ever since you were a little kid, you know that you wanted to be apart of the fbi. you knew the hard work it would take and personal strains of moving from california to washington d.c. but you had enrolled in the academy and gone from there.

director erin strauss had immediately taken a disliking to you. your superiors at the acadamy had only spoken good things about your work and strauss had to meet you in person. you almost wished you hadn’t agreed to seeing her because that’s where everything fell apart.

after meeting her, your superiors began to expect more from you and the pressure grew. you had ultimately discovered that strauss had told them to be harder on you, but not for good reasons. she wanted to see you crack as if you weren’t meant for the fbi.

once graduating top of your class, you were recruited onto the bau team. from there, you made fast friends and the team had taken a strong liking to you. they loved how you fit within the team and your personality as a whole.

erin strauss, however, was less than thrilled. every moment you messed up in the slightest, you were in her office being scolded. most of the time, you had received a warning. after a rookie cop had almost gotten you killed, you were the one being yelled at, not him. and finally, when strauss heard that you and spencer were dating back almost a year ago, she had pulled you into her office instead of spencer. he didn’t even get a look in his direction from her. she had threatened to suspend you if hotch hadn’t stepped in.

there was a strong bias against you by strauss and everyone on the team knew it.

the last case was the final straw for you. the team had been sent to pheonix and had remained there for almost two weeks. the outcome wasn’t exactly ideal but the positives outweighed the negatives.

it had come down to you and the final unsub. the others had been taken in as well as the victims saved. however, in the middle of you attempting to talk the unsub down, he had put his gun to his throat and pulled the trigger, killing himself instantly.

the whole ordeal had left you a little bit shocked, both at what you had witnessed and how you knew strauss would react. after a long flight, which everyone had slept on, the bau team made their way back to the office. everyone needed to get their stuff and paperwork before being allowed to go hone.

walking in, spencer held your hand tightly. you then let go and made your way to your desk, tossing your bag on the floor next to it. as you went to sit down, you heard a recognizable voice behind you.

“i would suggest you remain from sitting down, agent y/n. my office, now,” strauss demanded, her tone harsh. she walked out of the doors and you had no choice but to follow. you glanced back one more time at your team who all gave you pity looks.

once entering strauss’ office, you stood hands behind your back and looking straight on. strauss however, sat down out her desk and pulled it the most recent case file.

“i assume your know why you are here,” strauss started. you nodded to her words, trying not to give her the satisfaction of you looking scared. “i’m going to be a little nice here. i’ll let you go free tonight but know that i expect to see you in my office tomorrow morning at nine am sharp so we can discuss this,” she spoke, motioning to the graphic case photos. you once again nodded and turned around, walking out and back towards the bullpen.

on your way in, you encountered rossi and j.j. who were leaving to head home. you knew that j.j. was desperate to get home to see will and henry so you didn’t want to hold her up. however, rossi shot you a comforting smile as j.j. squeezed your shoulder.

spencer was there to greet you when you walked in. you shrugged his hand off of your shoulder and ignored derek and emily’s concerned looks. instead, you grabbed your bags and exited the building without another word.

strauss was making you hate your job and there wasn’t anything that could be done that would benefit you.

____

the following day, wednesday morning, you stepped into the bau. you first walked up to hotch’s office, tossing your report from the case on his desk with sad eyes.

“good luck,” hotch spoke to you as you walked out. you slightly smiled before making your way to strauss’ office.

this time, she motioned for you to sit down. you did just that and placed your hands in your lap.

“i don’t know what i’m going to do with you agent y/n. over the past few months you have made countless mistakes. you were placed in the bau team for a reason even if i was strongly against it. personally, i don’t think your profiling skills are up to par but you get one more chance. the next mistake you make, i will have no choice but to suspend you,” strauss informed you.

anger slowly bubbled up inside you. thankfully, you kept your shaking hands in your lap and kept yourself from lashing out. “suspend me? with all due respect ma’am, others on my team have made mistakes but they haven’t been called into your office,” you responded politely.

strauss suddenly threw the case file down and glared slightly at you. “oh so now you’re throwing your team under the bus? this further proves my suspicions of you not fitting in and not working well with them. don’t get me started on your relationship with dr. reid. furthermore, agent hotchner will be hearing about your behavior agent y/n. you are dismissed.”

with that you took a sharp breath and did everything in your power to not storm out of the office. the first thing you did when you re-entered the bullpen was go straight up to hotch’s office. the door was open so you entered and closed it behind you. your boss’s eyes looked to you, a concerned look forming when he saw your state.

“i can’t do it anymore hotch, i really can’t,” you spoke, voice incredibly shaky.

“do what?” hotch responded as he finished scribbling down a few things on a file. you rubbed your eyes as tears began to form.

“be on this team. next time i make the simplest mistake even if it’s suggesting the wrong thing, i’ll be suspended. i can’t remain on this team knowing that i’ll have to walk on eggshells for an unknown time. i know strauss doesn’t want me in the fbi anymore, she told me herself. i just can’t be here anymore,” you revealed, getting choked up in the end.

hotch stopped writing and placed his pen down. “she said that?” he asked. you nodded with a frown. “she told me that my profile skills are not up to par and i shouldn’t be at the bau.”

with that, you realized just how mentally exhausted you were. ever since you got to the bau, you’ve had to constantly prove yourself and after all this time you still seem to not do your job right. you just wanted it to stop.

“and there’s nothing i can do about strauss. so, i would like to request a resignation form,” you concluded.

hotch’s eyes widened at your request. “is there anyway i can convince you to take the rest of the week off to think about it? you can let me know monday morning,” your boss tried to convince you. you thought about it for a slight moment before agreeing.

“i’ll let you know monday morning,” you confirmed. once exiting the office, you noticed your entire team in the bullpen including garcia who was sitting with derek. you ignored them as you grabbed your work bag that had yet to be unpacked and your go bag. you pressed your lips together and rolled your eyes sarcastically as you looked at your name plate. ‘ssa y/n y/l/n’ it read. you flicked it down before leaving the building without another word. 

rossi, who had stepped out of his office just in time to see you leaving, looked at his team who were all sporting confused expressions. he then walked down the catwalk and into hotch’s office.

“what’s going on with y/n?” rossi asked.

hotch motioned to close the door and then sit down. rossi sat across the younger man who then sighed.

“she’s reached a breaking point with strauss’s harassment. and dave, from what she’s told me it’s never been this bad. she requested a resignation form,” hotch revealed causing rossi’s eyes to widen.

“she’s quitting?” he asked shocked.

hotch shook his head, “i managed to convince her to take the rest of the week off to think about it. i just don’t know where she’s going to go. and i mean what is there to do about strauss. nothing we could even discuss in a work setting.”

“we can do a team meeting at my house tonight. send a text using the personal numbers. oh and tell garcia to bring her computer,” rossi suggested before exiting to room to avoid suspicion.

spencer looked out confused as his girlfriend exited the bau abrubtly, bags in hand and tears in your eyes. he knew he could go after you but had realized you probably wanted to be alone.

a buzz from his personal phone broke him out of his thoughts. judging by the rest of the teams expressions, they had received one too. it was a simple message from hitch.

“team meeting at rossi’s at 7pm. do not mention it to anyone outside of the team. garcia bring your laptop.”

he looked towards emily who simply shrugged. they had no doubt that it was most likely about your sudden exit.

____

meanwhile, once exiting the bau, you quickly drove home as fast as traffic and the speed limit let you. you then stepped in your apartment, thankful at that moment that you didn’t share with anyone.

the first thing you did was pack your bags. you left your work bag at the table and packed a backpack with personal items such as a few books and electronics. then, you packed a suitcase full of clothes. finally, you changed out of your work attire and into sweatpants and a t-shirt which was obviously much more comfortable.

you sat on your couch, opening up your laptop to american airlines. after finding a flight that was leaving in an hour and a half, you booked it before putting your laptop back into your backpack and standing up.

before you left, you placed your gun on your table. this wasn’t a flight with the bau so you couldn’t bring your gun for obvious reasons. your badge remained in your coat pocket just in case. as you looked back at your apartment, you sighed.

there was only one thought that crossed your mind; spencer. your boyfriend obviously wouldn’t react well to you just getting up and leaving so suddenly. well, no one would, but, you didn’t want to leave him in the dust. you knew he would come to your apartment after work so a note was the easiest option. you quickly grabbed a piece of paper and a pen and began writing.

spencer,

“goodbyes are bittersweet. but it’s not the end, i’ll see your face again”

i know it’s cliche to put a song lyric but i figured it was fitting. i really just need to get away for awhile and clear my head. text me and let me know you’re alright, okay?

i love you,

y/n

you folded it up before neatly printing your boyfriends name on the front. with that, you were out your front door and on the way to the airport.

close to seven hours later, you arrived in san diego. the warm heat of the city welcomed you as you felt your nerves seemingly melt away. after taking a cab, you arrived to your families home.

you first knocked timidly on the door before stepping back. moments later, a figure appeared before the door swung open.

“hi mom,” you spoke with a small smile.

[thirsty4theextraordinary]

Everything Burns - Chapter 23

Pairing: Ledger Joker X OC

Warnings: Violence, Explosions, Blood

Word count: 1793

Previous Chapters: Chapter 1 | - Chapter 22

Chapter 23: Goodbye Gotham

It was deadly silent that night as Scarlett sat waiting for this plan of Jack's to take place. She had no idea what was going to happen or how but she knew it would be tonight. She chewed on her straight jacket again hoping to free herself, so she was useful when he came to get her. Maybe part of her hoped she could touch him again as well, it had been so very long since she had felt his skin against her own.

He had told her nothing other than to sit as far away from the door as possible. So she sat her back against the back wall of her cell but when the hours passed by and still there was no sound Scarlett began to worry, but then just as she was about to give up hope.

"Working late, Doc?" came an all too familiar voice before a gun shot was heard and a signature cackle.

"La la la la la" sang Joker's voice and she swore she could hear him skipping.

"That one there, big man" said Joker's voice and then there was a strange, groaning sound as the door to Scarlett's cell visibly bent inwards until with a mighty crash and it was torn from the wall and landed with the door still in the frame, inches from her feet flat on the floor. An enormous man with muscles that looked as though they were about to burst out of his own skin, stood in the doorway. His head was mostly bald but there were a few strands that still persisted, though it looked as though he ripped at them with his enormous hands. The man stared at her for a moment before he roared at her so viciously that she felt the spit from his mouth hit her cheek.

"Now, now Aaron, what have we said, happy thoughts. This is a lady and we show ladies respect" cooed the Joker and finally, she could see him. Though he was still dressed in his grey tracksuit bottoms and a grey t-shirt, he was grinning again and she beamed at him. He looked like Joker again.

"Jester, this is Aaron he's helping with our escape," said Joker as he moved into the room and began to cut her straight jacket from her.

"Oh J," she laughed as he pulled her to her feet and he just grinned.

"I got you a gift," he said happily and she smiled before he handed her a handgun with a paper flower stuck onto the barrel.

"I love it," she said and he giggled before he grabbed her hand and pulled her out of the cell.

Aaron the giant of a man was now breaking other patients out. Joker pulled her through the rabble as somewhere above them an alarm blared out. A few guards were on duty but didn't even see Joker and Jester coming as they tried to control the other patients and soon both guards had a bullet between the eyes. It all moved so quickly as Joker and Jester ran through the commotion of the Asylum riot, every guard they came across lay dead by the time they were through.

"I killed that Doctor lady for you," announced Joker as he rounded a corner with Jester in tow.

"Oh how romantic" she laughed and Jack cackled again, before he shot her a look that told he did indeed think his actions were very romantic and that only made her smile more.

They were heading straight for the main entrance, when the beast of the woman Heidi, who had taken pleasure in torturing Jester as best she could, rounded the corner blocking their escape. Her enormous chest was heaving as she stared angrily at the pair. Joker raised his gun towards the woman, but Scarlett held up her hand.

"No, I want to," said Jester in a voice similar to a child asking for a sweet.

"Oh of course, go ahead, princess," said Joker as he lowered his gun. Jester pulled out her own and pointed it at the enormous woman who was staring at her with venomous eyes.

"You weren't very nice to me," whined Jester, shaking her head at the woman.

"Are you going to say sorry?" asked Jester but the woman only sneered.

"SAY SORRY" Joker roared in a voice that was almost demonic.

But still Heidi stayed quiet and so without blinking Scarlett lowered her gun and in a swift movement, fired twice blowing out both of Heidi's knee caps. The gargantuan woman roared in pain and collapsed to the floor.

"I'm sorry" she sobbed lying at Jester's feet.

"Pardon, I didn't hear that" Jester cackled and the woman cried.

"I'm sorry, you psycho bitch!" Screamed Heidi tears streaming down her face.

"Oh, that was the wrong answer," joked Jester happily before she fired again catching Heidi in the throat. Joker allowed her to stay for a moment and watch the woman who had tormented her, choke on her own blood, her eyes desperate. Jester seemed to be filled with life and joy. Once the life had completely drained from her and hole in her neck had stopped squirting, Jester allowed Joker to pull her away and towards the large double doors that lead to the foyer.

Aaron the giant had caught up with them and was breaking through the doors that lead to foyer, behind Jester were hundreds of escapees just waiting to get out. With one enormous push the double door broke apart and opened with such force they ricocheted off the wall of the foyer and swung back inwards catching one inmate off guard and breaking his nose.

Joker somewhat dragged Jester to the front desk and pointed the gun at the guard that was sat there.

"Me and my lady would like to check out, so we will be wanted our things," said Joker as he draped an arm around Jester shoulder, and smiled with a sickly sweet smile. His gun still pointed at the guards head. The guard took a quick look around before deciding it was best not to argue with the hundreds of inmates and especially not with the psychopath pointing a gun at his head. The Guard unlocked the room where all the personal items were kept and Joker smiled.

"Much obliged," Joker laughed before he shot the man in the eye and headed for the room. Joker found all his things smiling at the note on bag which read.

"Name: Unknown

Alias: The Joker

Address: Unknown

Next Of Kin: Unknown"

He snatched up the clear plastic zip lock bag that held all his worldly goods and glanced over at the girl beside him who was holding her own equally large bag.

"Lets get out of her, gorgeous," he said and Scarlett laughed loudly.

He grabbed her hand again and pulled her through the rabble of inmates. The sound of the alarm filled the air still as they made it out into the fresh cool night air, at the bottom of the steps leading up to the asylum sat a lone black car and Joker laughed with triumphant as he led her towards it. The sound of police sirens was breaking through the sound of the Asylum alarm as Joker held the door to the back passenger seat of the car, with one final look behind him he jumped in beside her.

"Go Go," he said excitably jumping up and down in his seat slightly as the car shot off, the blue lights filled the rear view mirror as they headed away from the asylum. Just as Joker was about to lean out and fire at the cop a great lumbering form leaped at the police car and turned it over. Aaron roared at the police officer as he climbed out the wreckage of the car before Aaron lumbered over to him and literally pulled the police officer apart. Tearing his limbs from his body like he were made of wet paper.

Jack's cackles filled the car as it raced away from Asylum and Scarlett turned to him and with both hands she grabbed his face and brought her lips to his. He responded almost instantly as he wrapped his arms around her and brought her as close as possible. They crashed teeth in their sloppy and manic kiss but as they pulled away both were grinning.

Jack peered out there back window of the car and nodded to himself when he saw nothing but empty streets.

"Could we just stop here for a second" Jack called out.

"Sure boss," said the driver and slowly the car pulled to a halt at the side of the road.

Jack held up a finger motioning for her to wait as he got out the car and closed the door before climbed into the passenger seat.

"I've got a problem," said Joker to the driver who suddenly looked worried but made not motion to move.

"You see me and Jester are not going to get caught again. So the fewer people to know where we are going the better, so I'm afraid your services are no longer needed. It's nothing personal" said Jack before he raised the gun and fired.

It was horrific not only had the shot been such close quarters that the drivers head had essentially exploded but also the noise inside the car a reverberated causing Scarlett to become incredibly disorientated. By the time Jack had dragged the body out of the car and dumped it on the sidewalk before getting back into the driver seat, she had only just got her head to focus again, her ears still ringing and her eyes watering slightly.

"We are going to have to leave Gotham for a while," said Jack and he drove the car away from the curb.

"Okay" Scarlett said

"Come get in the front," he said and she nodded and with some difficultly, she pulled herself into the front passenger seat.

"Where are we going to go?" Jester asked as she looked out the window of the buildings rushing by.

"I don't know yet, just not Gotham" Jack didn't say much more after that and Jester watched at the passed by the sign that read. "Now leaving Gotham, Thank you for driving carefully" and she sighed Gotham sure had been a lot of fun.

"Don't worry Gorgeous, I'm not done with Gotham yet, we will be back before you know it." He said reaching across the car and squeezing her thigh slightly and with a grin Scarlet lay her head on his shoulder.

"I love you, Jack," she said and Joker glanced at her on his shoulder and smiled.

"Me, too Gorgeous"

***************************************************************

The End 

Thank you all for reading and I really hope you enjoyed this story. I may write a sequel or follow up oneshots but I currently have no inspiration or plans to do so. Please like and Reblog if you enjoyed.

Much Love

[burntwingsandwarpaint]

randomly generated drabbles characters: 8. daryl, aaron, & jesus tropes: 98. Curses & 84. Married to the Job

So this is a loose interpretation of the prompts, more like a general inspo. Also, warnings that this is 1) definitely not a drabble, and 2) definitely not completed. might pop back in with a part two if i’m feeling inspired, but the point of this exercise is to get myself writing again, not to get myself stuck trying to force something, so i’m just gonna post what I have so far. hope you all enjoy nonetheless 😘

In the span of a whisper the blade sank through skin, and the world shattered for all of them.

.-

Paul Rovia was a whirlwind of revelations in Daryl Dixon’s life. Infuriating, frustrating, fucking intoxicating in the span of the first few hours. Daryl’d been hooked in the second their eyes met and Paul had known it. (Hell, Rick had probably known it.) Daryl hadn’t been ready to know it then, though, and so Paul (goddamn Jesus, his salvation and damnation all at once, felt like) had twisted through Daryl in those early days like a thorn in his damn side.

Aaron’d crept up on him slower. Where Jesus had been fire, danger, frustration, Aaron’d always been comfort. From Daryl’s first days at Alexandria Aaron’d melted his way into Daryl’s life, slipping past his walls and filling all the cold empty spaces inside him with endless patience and easy acceptance. Where Jesus had lit him up, Aaron’d soothed him down, a safe space for Daryl to fall into.

If Daryl’d ever thought of himself as someone deserving good things, he’d have thought it was inevitable they’d all find their way to each other. As it was, even if he couldn’t quite wrap his head around what they were getting out of it, he was just grateful they did.

It happened slow, in the aftermath of the war. The years after. They took their time with it. Toeing their way toward each other. Skirting in and back over old wounds. And when they finally did, all three of them for the first time together, it’d felt so damn much like inevitable that Daryl halfway hated every second they’d wasted finding it.

He hated them more the instant that blade slid in, and the fire faded from Paul’s eyes.

.-

There were things you learned, spending years living out in the wild. There were things in the wild that learned you. Daryl’d seen glimpses of Her in flutters and lingering shadows, in shapes of trees warped into the semblance of faces, there and gone the next time he went through. He knew the swamps were Her territory, but he’d never bothered Her much and the things that did seemed to go quiet soon after. So they’d spent the years in a comfortable sort of coexistence. Understanding, distant respect.

Until She came to him in the lonely dark of Paul’s grave.

One hundred dead each day, she’d offered, voice a rustle of leaves through winter forests, a groan of branches in the wind. One hundred dead souls each day for a hundred days, in exchange for your lover’s life.

She’d held it out to him, tempting, like a needle for a vein. A sweetness and a promise of salvation that’d kill him slow in the quest for it. 

And that night, curled against Aaron on their too-empty bed, feeling his lover’s already battered soul breaking a bit more on the pressure of choked, brittle sobs, Daryl knew his answer.

Outside the window, the leaves burst into a rush of laughter, and Daryl curled Aaron closer.

And the next morning, he set to work.

.-

Aaron wouldn’t understand, was the thing. Couldn’t. People who hadn’t lived in the wild, who didn’t have it singing through their veins, they didn’t get shit like Old Ones and Bargains and the things that were possible if you were willing to risk worse things than your soul dealing with Them. Daryl slipped out in the morning after Paul’s death and started tracking fresh Walkers. Found a trickle of them, then a herd, and by mid-afternoon he’d reached his kill count. Felt the caress of a twig nicking the back of his hand –– a deal struck, marked in blood –– and made his way home to Hilltop.

Aaron hadn’t said anything, but there’d been a glint of pain in his tired eyes when Daryl’d found him. A hesitation. And then he’d brought Daryl some food and wiped the blood and filth off him, and dragged him back to bed where they’d tried and failed to learn the shape of the world with just the two of them living in it.

.-

On the fifth day, Aaron parted his lips to talk about it. Said “I know you’re hurting, I get it, but––” And Daryl’d shaken his head, a little frantic, and caught Aaron in a too-rough kiss.

He wouldn’t understand, and Daryl couldn’t stand to hear him say the words on the edge of his tongue.

.-

Sixteen days, and Daryl didn’t make it home that night. The sea of dead around them felt endless sometimes, but even they had their limits. Every day he needed to venture further out to find them. Try new paths, weaving deeper into the wild. Every day he had to work harder to find fifty, then eighty, and by the time he’d hit a hundred he’d been scrabbling frantic, tossing himself too deep into danger, close to midnight.

He’d kept working straight through, fighting his way through the night and past dawn. Found his way back to Alexandria halfway through the next day in a daze of bloodied exhaustion.

“We need to talk about this,” Aaron’d told him, eyes stern and voice achingly soft. And Daryl’d nodded, grunted “in the mornin’” and passed out between that and the next breath. In the morning there’d been no words to begin to explain it and Daryl’d left a still-sleeping Aaron with a back soon scrawled on a strip of paper and a kiss cooling his brow.

.-

Twenty days, and She tripped Daryl with the subtle shift of a root as he dodged back from a Walker’s grasp. Twenty-six and She caught at the dead’s flesh with thorny fingers as a horde chased close on his tail. Her whims shifted with the weather, but as far as Daryl could tell he was paying his way by entertaining Her.

He did his best to give her a show.

Thirty-one days and he killed a mass of dead in an explosion. Felt like a hundred-fifty, easy, ‘til a rush of doubt set in and he spent the rest of the day killing another sixty in a panic and praying to whatever blessed damn Old One might be listening that there’d at least been forty in that first blast.

Midnight came and went, and She didn’t appear to tell him he’d failed his task. After that, though, Daryl killed them by ones.

.-

Two months and Daryl was spending more nights away than with Aaron, tracking herds and then hordes for miles. Picking them off slow where he could, counting kills under his breath like a mantra. And when he couldn’t get ‘em slow... hell.

Then he fought.

He collapsed onto Aaron’s couch (their couch, still didn’t feel like theirs) after eight nights gone. Nearly dozed off ‘til he felt a shadow standing over him.

“We need to talk about this.” Aaron’s tone was all stern this time, that soft understanding of the past weeks scorched out of him. Daryl thought about pretending to be asleep. His aching body begged him to.

He slitted his eyes open.

“I know you’re grieving,” Aaron said, and Daryl’s throat choked on a growl, denial tightening it to something painful. Grief was an aftermath. Grief was acceptance. Daryl hadn’t been grieving.

“I know this is what you do, how you process, but––”

“What I do?” rolled out, and it was clipped, aggressive. Exhausted. Daryl’s body was a wreck of bruises and strained muscle and every inch of it wanted to crawl against Aaron for comfort. But there was a chasm in their chests keeping them separated and Daryl hadn’t even noticed himself digging it.

Aaron didn’t flinch.

“Hide. Run.” He answered plainly. “Cut yourself off, like you did after Rick––”

“This ain’t that.” It wasn’t. Rick had been a hunt. This was a quest. This was different. Rick was blind hope, but this? There was a clear end in sight. Forty-two more days –– not two months, even –– and the whisper of the wind would hand Jesus back to them.

Aaron was riling, though. Tensed tight, his infinite patience worn to rags as he stalked in a step and hissed, “So what is it like, then? You looking to die? Looking to go out like he did?”

It hit like a blade sinking through. That notion. ‘Cause Jesus wasn’t. Wouldn’t be. Not unless Daryl fucked up here.

But... hell. To Aaron he was.

The thought stalled Daryl’s righteous rage in its tracks. To Aaron, he was. Daryl hadn’t been grieving all this time, couldn’t be, but Aaron had been. Alone.

Daryl pushed to his feet, ignoring the protests of his wrecked body. For the first time in weeks or longer, he took in the worn lines of Aaron’s face. How much older he looked now. Exhausted. And that’s how the gulf had gotten there. All these weeks Daryl’d spent chasing the lover they’d lost, he’d lost track of the one standing next to him.

“Hey...” His hand lifted to catch Aaron’s cheek, but Aaron wasn’t ready to be calmed. He catted out of the contact, caught Daryl’s shirt. Held him for an aching beat, then shoved back.

“Paul’s gone, Daryl. He was reckless and restless and went out looking for a fight and it got him killed.” The words were blades. They were wrong. But... they weren’t. Jesus’s soul had been born for the wild, same as Daryl’s. Maybe that was why She’d been willing to deal for him in the first place. But Aaron didn’t know that. And he was all balled up exhaustion and anger and still-bleeding wounds as he snapped: “I can’t deal with you doing that too.”

It was an ultimatum. A wall building. In or out, and Daryl could feel the pressure of it hitting him straight through the middle as he dug for some loophole, some door.

“Ain’t what this is,” he managed, and Aaron looked at him, every bit as wrecked as Daryl felt as he asked plainly: “Then what is it?”

But what could he say?

A second dragged past, then another, in frozen quiet, broken finally by Aaron’s tired sigh.

“I can’t do this again, Daryl. Eric, then Paul... we lose people in this world, I get that. But I can’t just wait around watching you chase it. So you either give up whatever the hell this is, whatever revenge mission you think you’re on out there... You either stay here and figure this out with me... grieve with me... or you go.”

A branch rustled the side of the building. Daryl’s lips parted and shut. Forty-two days left, and Aaron would understand.

Daryl went.

.-

Seventy-six days and Daryl was sitting on the edge of the hospital bed, wrapping gauze along his stitched arm. He’d been slow, stupid. Clumsy. Running on fumes. Tripped straight into the edge of a rusted car door and split his skin open.

He’d thought about going to Hilltop. Getting stitched up by Enid, safe and far from the still-bleeding wounds left behind here.

But Alexandria’d been closer. And gods knew he didn’t have time for damn detours.

A lanky shadow fell over him.

“Heard you were here.” The voice was soft. Soft enough Daryl almost forgot the last, brutal words he’d heard from it. When he looked up, Aaron’s eyes were carefully cold.

“Got cut,” Daryl said, like that was any kind of an answer. He watched those eyes shift to the wound, caught the flicker of something in them. Pain, frustration, aching want.

Or maybe that was Daryl, projecting.

“Still fighting, then,” Aaron said, and Daryl wondered when they’d become the kind of people who’d communicated in two and three words. Seventy-seven days ago, whispered through him like the slice of a blade, but he wasn’t sure that was right. The estrangement, the coldness, the endless gulf and the wall Aaron’d built to ward it... all that’d come after.

Daryl wondered for the first time, vague and distant, if this wasn’t the true price he was paying. Not a hundred a day to win Jesus back. Just one. Lover for a lover. Gain one back, but lose another along the way.

It had Their kind of sick humor in it.

And Daryl’d never thought of himself as someone deserving good things. Lived a lifetime of bloodied teeth and hope ground out under cruel, careless heels. He’d dealt with it all ‘cause he could. ‘Cause what the hell else could he do but take his losses and keep moving forward? But now, watching that worn, resigned look in Aaron’s eyes, feeling the gulf stretching seemingly endless between them... that didn’t feel like an acceptable loss anymore.

“He ain’t dead.” It fell out on a breath, barely a rasp of sound. But it was enough to break through Aaron’s apathy. He froze, his furrowed brows pinching deeper. Confusion bleeding past the cold. His lips pursed, a shape of a what rising and fading. And Daryl sighed, pressed his eyes shut, and spoke.

.-

Aaron couldn’t understand.

They were back in their house now. (His house... or was it?) Stood at opposite ends of a too-long couch, squared off. Daryl could see the panicked spin behind Aaron’s eyes the second he’d started explaining. Slow swirl of confusion speeding to something else. Concern. Doubt. He said “Daryl,” just that, and the careful pitch of that tone nearly broke him.

Daryl flinched.

“Don’t say it ain’t real.”

A careful pause. The coldness was gone like it’d never been there, but the thing in Aaron’s eyes now was so much worse.

“I... know you want it to be real.”

“Don’t.”

“Daryl, you just told me the wind whispered to you.”

“Ain’t the damn wind.” Aaron couldn’t understand. Daryl couldn’t explain it. How could a person explain the kind of shapes Old Things took, the subtle ways they let you glimpse them? Daryl’d had a sense of them his whole life, seen shadows and signs since he’d stepped into his first forest. Learned lessons on his mama’s lap back before he’d been old enough to have the rules of real and fantasy drilled into him. Daryl knew, deep in his bones, but there was no way of describing it.

Aaron’s eyes were the eyes of a rational man faced with the notion of a loved one’s madness. Worried. Heartbroken. Eyes of someone debating calling the loony bin on him, if there’d been a loony bin left to call.

“Month left,” Daryl tried, grit and a ragged plea laced through the words all at once. “Twenty-four days, that’s it. Then call me crazy.”

“I’m not calling you crazy,” Aaron said, soft. His eyes begged to differ. He took a step, then another, to close the gulf between them. His hand lifted to brush Daryl’s cheek. “I’m... Daryl. That’s two thousand, four hundred Walkers. That’s over two thousand risks you’re taking.”

Daryl’d never bothered doing the math. What the hell’d math ever done for him but try to stick him up, thinking on it. He pressed his eyes shut, leaned into the achingly sweet warmth of Aaron’s hand. Said, clear as he could manage: “S’one shot to get him back.”

Aaron didn’t answer, but when Daryl opened his eyes again he saw a sickly understanding in Aaron’s own. Lips parted, an argument rising and dying as Daryl watched, and then Aaron was leaning in to press his forehead to Daryl’s.

For the first time in seventy-six days, it felt like coming home. They lingered in the contact for a few seconds, savoring. And then, soft, comforting, Aaron kissed him.

“Your life’s worth something too,” Aaron murmured, and Daryl felt some fractured piece of his soul mending. A smile ghosted his lips. He pressed it into Aaron’s bushy jaw.

“Ain’t gonna get myself killed. Can’t finish savin’ his ass then.”

It was half a joke, reflexive brush-off of those heartfelt words, but he felt Aaron’s body unclench at them. Like he’d really been terrified, all this time, all these kills... really were just a suicide mission.

Daryl led Aaron to bed and kissed him soundly ‘til the last one of those notions left his head.

.-

In the dawn light, as Daryl dragged himself out of bed and dug around for his scattered boots, Aaron offered: “I could come with you.”

“Couldn’t,” Daryl answered, not glancing up from the knot in his lace. “S’my deal. My kills. You takin’ some’s just gonna make it harder.” He could feel an argument building, sleep-fogged but passionate, in the way Aaron shifted against the sheets. And Daryl half-wanted to let him. Wanted to be talked into it. Into the company, at least, or the sensible head on Aaron’s shoulders. Into having someone to watch his back when a herd caught his scent, or flash a grin at after a narrow escape.

God, the loneliness had seeped so deep inside him these past months. He just wanted something to lean on.

He set a hand on Aaron’s knee. Dragged it down his shin, soothing. “And you got Gracie to think of.”

That settled it. Daryl felt the fight go out of him, the tired sigh. Winning didn’t mean Aaron liked it. When Daryl looked over, he saw a helpless war fighting through him. Ache of an almost-plea in those eyes. Stay.

It wasn’t anything to do with Jesus. Aaron still couldn’t believe that, even if he was trying. He was too rational. Too solidly set in what the world was supposed to be like, not what it was. He was looking at Daryl, saw someone grieving. Saw someone sick in the head, probably. Was just trying to figure out what Daryl needed to keep him from snapping harder.

Your life’s worth something too, he’d said the night before.

Daryl let his boot drop, turned to lean over Aaron.

“Hey... You trust I ain’t gonna get myself killed, out there?”

There was a heavy pause. Aaron sighed.

“No one plans on getting themselves killed, Daryl.”

And there was truth in that. Painful, bitter, and too familiar on the back of both of their tongues. If planning to live meant any damn thing at all, the world’d be full right now and Daryl’d have no walking corpses to fill his deal with. Hell, Jesus would be here, wrapped up safe in this bed, and Daryl’d have no need to fill it.

His gaze softened. He leaned down, kissed Aaron. Raw and quiet against the brush of his lips, offered: “Trust I love you?”

Eight years, probably, of that being true, and Daryl’d never managed to utter it. Sure as hell never braved those words to Jesus, before he fell. Aaron stared up at him, eyes a watery gleam in the dawn light. He wet his lips, bobbed a nod.

“I trust that.”

“Good. Hold that, ‘til I come back and say it again.”

.-

[xlady-saya]

there’s always more to learn [fic]

Pairings: andrew/neil, aaron/katelyn

Tags: wholesome twinyards, fluff, more aaron suffering, references to canon violence/abuse

read on ao3! 

Aaron's leg bounces impatiently as the clock in Bee's office ticks agonizingly slow. There's only five minutes left in today's session, and Aaron is more than ready to bolt out of there.

Katelyn is waiting. The weekend is waiting.

He's glad they rescheduled this week's session to Friday, but it doesn't make the waiting easier. If anything, time is seeping like molasses.

To his left, Andrew is stirring his fifth mug of cocoa with a spoon, even though there's no reason to mix it. Every few seconds, out of time with the ticking clock, the spoon hits the side of the cup and clangs into the quiet of the room.

Aaron is almost positive Andrew does this on purpose just to annoy him. Every. Time.

Aaron slides a glare towards his twin, with less heat than usual, while Andrew stares innocently ahead.

Aaron rolls his eyes; Andrew can act as unaffected as he wants, he's probably just as impatient. Aaron sees it in the subtle fidgeting, the way Andrew just can't quite seem to get comfortable in the cozy armchair.

What an ass, Aaron thinks, but there's an edge of fondness to it. Today's session had actually been...pleasant. He feels smooth, cleansed, instead of just raw.

This was becoming a more common occurrence, much to Aaron's shock. Sure, they would still discuss Tilda, or the trial, or the years spent apart, unaware of each other’s existence. Those conversations never got easy, but they got better. When they first started going to these joint therapy sessions, Aaron would storm out more often than not. The days he stayed meant tense, murderous silence, or cutting words which tore open new issues neither one of them even knew about.

The silence which settles over them this time is different. It's satisfied, not full of tension waiting to explode because of one of Aaron's careless remarks or Andrew's bluntness.

It's been like this for a while now. Aaron talks, Andrew responds, Bee mediates. They take small steps forward, with the occasional leap, but more often than not they get mutual understanding out of each other.

It's still a battle some days, but the fact Andrew is actually putting in an effort is enough to make Aaron put in his own.

Ever since he'd grown to accept Andrew's feelings for Neil as equivalent to his own for Katelyn, things had been moving even faster in the right direction.

It's why today is even possible, when months ago it would've been a terrible idea.

Aaron's stomach flips at the reminder of Katelyn, waiting for him outside, and he probably looks like he has to take a giant shit with how he has to force down his giddy smile.

Andrew shifts in his seat again, staring at the clock.

Of course, Bee misses none of it. She's usually more than happy to engage in small talk to wind down the last five minutes of their sessions, but today she'd let them sit in the comfortable silence, simply at peace with one another. Now though, with three minutes on the clock, she chooses to comment.

Goddamn shrinks...

"Well, you two seem excited," she says, voice warm without being prying. They don't have to respond, there's no pressure there, and Aaron decides eh, why not?

Andrew grunts something which Aaron takes as his attempt at denial, because after all, Andrew doesn't feel excitement. Or, that's what he used to say. It's becoming a less frequent statement, one Bee no doubt finds joy in. There's hardly any real fight in Andrew's unimpressed stare, and he doesn't seem to have any desire to elaborate. Bee must sense it too, Andrew's implied agreement to her statement, and she beams at his progress.

Aaron shares a look with his twin, who just shrugs, like he can't be bothered with explaining.

'You do it,' the looks says. Aaron still isn't used to how normal this feels, making plans with his brother, talking about them, spending time together that isn't part of some deal or debt.

"Katelyn and I have a mini golf date after this," he tells Bee, letting his face relax into a small smile. He can't help it when Katelyn is involved, and he wonders if the affection will ever wear off. He hopes not. "She invited Neil and Andrew."

'O-M-G, a double date!' Nicky had proclaimed obnoxiously, tears welling in his eyes. 'I'm so proud of you guys!'

Idiot.

But, he wasn't wrong. Aaron hadn't expected Andrew to say yes, but before he knew it they bought the tickets and made plans to drive to the mini-golf course after their session. It's new territory, with a lot of room for error, but Aaron lets himself be hopeful for once.

Either way, he gets to spend the night with Katelyn and hold her close while she tries to line up the ball.

Aaron sighs dreamily; it's a date night, so Katelyn will probably wear a skirt. He can't wait.

Beside him, Andrew scoffs.

"That's lovely!" Bee says, her face lighting up and she pulls her hands together. "I think it's great you two are spending more time together."

'More time.' More than the study sessions and video game nights. Voluntary time, and it's actually...not awful.

Aaron looks over to his twin and decides to say fuck it once again. This is what therapy is for right? Trying to be honest?

"Me too," he mutters, reluctant but no less truthful. Andrew's eyes slide over to him and they share a long look. Andrew's blank mask gives nothing away, but there's something swimming in the void beneath, an intensity, an acquiescence. Andrew tilts his head forward, a ghost of a nod, and Aaron's chest tightens up.

A beat passes and Andrew finally takes a sip of cocoa before he speaks, tone giving nothing away. "I just want to prove Neil isn't good at every sport."

Aaron snorts, he'd like to see that too. So far, the Foxes had been unable to find a physical activity Neil didn't pick up fast.

It's infuriating.

Satisfied with sharing like this for the remaining few minutes, Aaron sighs again. "Katelyn is cute when she focuses too hard on the game," he tells Bee, already picturing Katelyn's flushed face when her ball barely misses the hole-in-one.

Bee's smile turns a little smug. "It seems they're both competitive then?"

"I guess," Aaron says with a shrug, not really thinking about it. Katelyn is a hard worker, she hates to lose. It's sexy and adorable, and whoever wins usually gets a reward when they get home...

Aaron fully intends to cash in.

Andrew scoffs, like it doesn't even begin to cover Neil. It really doesn't. The little asshole is probably already taking the fucking game too seriously, and it's mini-golf. Aaron doesn't get how he and Katelyn get along so well, Neil's intensity is on another level.

It pisses Aaron off.

Bee's laugh is delicate, a chirp. "I must say, when you told me the two of them were becoming fast friends all those months ago, I wasn't surprised," she says. "Though I suppose you two must've already had a laugh about it."

The assumption that Andrew has ever 'had a laugh' while sober isn't worth pointing out, he's sure Bee knows anyways.

Andrew squints at her at the same time Aaron does, and something close to confusion settles on his usually neutral features. They share a look, and it suddenly feels like they're treading on thin ice.

Aaron hopes he's just paranoid, like he doesn't hear a bomb countdown in his head.

"What do you mean?" Aaron asks, cautiously. When Neil and Katelyn began to hang out, neither he nor Andrew really tried to stop it. It wasn't their call, but back then they'd been less than happy about it. Aaron had been shocked; after all, Andrew had threatened Katelyn while Neil just watched. Somehow, the event was less scary in Katelyn’s mind now, and it bloomed into some begrudging respect for Neil which had no issue spiraling into a weird friendship. Now, it's just a fact of life.

Aaron has no doubt Neil would throw Katelyn to the dogs for Andrew or the Foxes, but he treats Katelyn well and never lies to her, something she seems to value immensely from him.

Aaron doesn't get it, but Katelyn likes Neil and Neil doesn’t seem opposed to her either. Whatever.

He and Andrew don't mention it, never had a sit down about it. They certainly never had a laugh about it. Why would they?

"Well, the two of them are so alike," Bee goes on, oblivious to the tension leaking into the space. Her smile is pleasant, teasing. "It just goes to show how you and Andrew have similar tastes despite being so different."

The world freezes on its axis.

Andrew inhales a little too loudly the same time Aaron chokes on his spit. "W-What?"

The question levitates in the air, a second away from freefall.

Deceptively calm, Andrew puts his mug down with a harsh thud on the coffee table. Their time is up, but neither of them move.

Aaron would feel pride at seeing Bee so dumbstruck, if his brain wasn't liquifying in his head.

"Oh," Bee breathes, looking between the two of them slowly. She purses her lips. "You didn't know."

It's the match which lights the fire in Aaron's blood. He shoots forward, hands clenched in the couch cushions.

"That bastard is nothing like Katelyn!" Aaron spits, and Bee's smile is gone. How could she even think that?

In an instant, Aaron pictures a side by side of Katelyn and Neil. His cute, put together girlfriend who always smiles and gets along with everyone.

Then there's fucking Neil, and his all hoodie wardrobe with resting bitch face and a short fuse.

And okay, perhaps he should've phrased that better. He has no issues with his twin's relationship anymore, but he isn't exactly ready to entertain the idea that...oh god no, it's impossible.

Dobson's really off her rocker with this one.

Their feelings are the same, not their significant others.

"Aaron, that language is insulting," she reprimands, gesturing to his brother. "Neil is very important to Andrew--"

"I'll allow it," Andrew interrupts with a hand raised, shocking them all. Aaron realizes too late what the concession means though. It's classic Andrew philosophy: equal exchange. He wheels on Aaron quickly, the motion smooth and deliberate. "Sorority girl isn't exactly defying any stereotypes. Even if I was inclined to women, I doubt she'd do it for me."

Translation: 'My bastard is nothing like Katelyn, thank fuck for that.'

"Fuck you Andrew," Aaron bites back. It's a weird feeling, arguing without being enraged. There's no threat of violence here, and Aaron laughs at the ridiculousness of it. "Josten could offer to put me through med school and I still wouldn't screw him."

Andrew leans back, eyes scanning Aaron up and down. "Why would Neil want anything to do with a face like yours?"

"I look just like you."

"Mm," Andrew hums, unconvinced.

Bee looks at her watch, as if considering how far she wants to let this go given the time. "Perhaps it's best we unpack this another time. Aaron, I do want you to think about why it is you feel so insulted. I thought you liked having good things in common with Andrew?"

"I do, but not this!" Aaron says, fake retching. Andrew just stews in his chair.

He and Andrew having similar tastes in who they like is not something he can handle. It's way too close for comfort, and although he's accepted Neil's importance in his brother's life, that doesn't mean he's suddenly Aaron's favorite person.

Neil...Katelyn...alike...

Aaron's brain scrambles to piece it together.

Something akin to amusement crosses Bee's face before it disappears, and Aaron glares at her as murderously as he can manage.

"Look Bee, we're agreeing," Andrew says after a bit, tipping his mug of cocoa back as if it were a shot. "Are you proud?"

Well, at least they're on the same page about Bee's latest opinion: it's completely unfounded.

"Katelyn is sweet, and kind, and considerate," Aaron lists. "Your boy toy is abrasive, impulsive, and doesn't know how to keep his damn mouth shut!"

Andrew shrugs, unimpressed. "You say all that like they're bad things."

"To most people they are."

"Boring."

Before Aaron can launch into another tirade, Bee decides she's had enough. She laughs amicably, putting up her hands in surrender. The sound is lighthearted, and it's amazing how she can sense when the twins are having a legitimate fight versus just being asshole siblings; normal.

Aaron crosses his arms at the same time Andrew does.

"I only meant that they are alike in their feelings for you, and how they express them," Bee points out, as she has many times before. Aaron forces himself to listen to her try to backpedal. "They're both pillars of strength in your lives who you communicate well with. Right?"

Aaron and Andrew share another look; it's hard for them to admit still, but they passed that milestone weeks ago. They mumble their agreement under their breath.

Bee grins.

"But well, you're right I suppose," she sighs, patting down the ruffles of her skirt as she stands. "They have very different personalities. You two would know best."

Yeah, we would.

"Anyways, I've kept you too long as is. Go have fun on your date," Bee says, serene smile back in place. Something in the air shifts, and Aaron can't place the feeling.

Maybe it's impending doom.

Andrew still regards his therapist with suspicion as he stands, as if waiting for something else, something more.

But Bee only waves at them as they cross the room to the door. "See you both next week!"

--

When they walk out of Reddin, Neil is leaning against the hood of the Maserati with Katelyn. They're talking about something, probably that show Katelyn had gotten Neil into the past month (very hard to accomplish, Matt is still asking her how she did it). It's a normal sight, seeing them calmly discussing and laughing every now and again.

But now, instead of brushing it off, Aaron analyzes everything.

Ah, that's what he felt earlier. A seed being planted.

This is a fucking nightmare.

Aaron almost thinks he's the only one affected, until Andrew falters in step beside him. The blond pauses, hesitation clear in his movements. It's so unlike Andrew, it sends chills down Aaron's spine.

Aaron watches the light bounce through Katelyn's reddish brown hair, as if lighting it on fire with streaks of gold. She's gorgeous, with sun-kissed skin and blue eyes which never fail to make Aaron melt.

Usually, the sight makes all his problems disappear; Katelyn has a way of clearing his head, making him feel sane.

But then his eyes slide over to Neil, and oh god, he sees it. He can't unsee it. Neil's messy bangs catch the sunlight in almost the same way, bringing out more of its reddish color. Icy blue eyes stand out against tan skin, the result of hours spent on a track. Even with the scars, the resemblance is there.

They're basically the same height too, which is just another fuck you from the universe.

"It just goes to show how you and Andrew have similar tastes despite being so different."

"Andrew," he whispers to his brother, fearful, urgent.

Andrew's response is so quick it burns Aaron. "No," he states, end of conversation. Aaron gets the message loud and clear. If we don't talk about it we can pretend it's not true.

Aaron is 100% on board.

They walk towards the car, making their presence known, and Neil and Katelyn spot them at the same time. Their faces light up in almost the same way, though Neil's expression is more guarded, toned down for Andrew's sake. Is this always how it happens?

Aaron groans internally.

Yup, pretending is going to be a lot harder than he thought.

Andrew stills a little, and Neil's smile falters, raising an eyebrow in question. Andrew shakes his head, and it's enough. Neil relaxes in an instant.

The way they do that will never not be creepy.

It settles Aaron for the moment; Neil and Andrew are so different from him and Katelyn in everything they do. Still, he has a feeling this isn't the end of this.

For now though, he pushes the thought away as he reaches Katelyn, letting her kiss his cheek and wash his worries away. He really is excited to spend time with her, he'd be with her all the time if he could. He'll never understand why she looks at him like that, he doesn't deserve it. There's an adoration in her eyes every time he walks into a room, like she's the lucky one.

How wrong she is.

"Ready to lose?" She teases, hooking her pinky around his as they pile into the backseat. Aaron smirks at the challenge.

Oh, she's going to get it. "We'll see."

Aaron glances up to see what the hold up is, only to find Andrew whispering with Neil as his hand slowly trails down Neil's arm. The touch is gentle, and strangely intimate. Andrew's hand stops at Neil's wrist, pressing down. Neil laughs breathily, and Aaron catches the end of some Russian words.

He doesn't understand them, but he knows no one else is meant to hear.

He tears his gaze away to settle in the back with Katelyn, giving her all his attention, and doesn't bat an eye when Neil and Andrew slip into the front seats.

--

Neil is going to win, because of course he is.

It becomes painfully obvious five holes in, with Neil's natural movements and controlled tilts of the club.

Andrew's face gives away nothing the entire time, but the subtle shift of his eyes between his club and Neil's triumphant face says a lot.

The striker has already managed three holes in one, with Andrew close behind with two, but at this point his twin has to know it's a lost cause. Aaron doesn't miss the twitch of Andrew's jaw, and it's enough to soothe the blow of Neil being good at something.

Sorta.

Cutely, Katelyn blows her bangs out of her face, determined to catch up. She's been frozen with the ball lined up for a good two minutes now, and Aaron is in no mood to rush her. Her skirt flutters in the wind, her face flushed from the breeze. Aaron's jacket is short on her, matching well with her crop top. Sometimes Aaron wonders if she dresses off season just for the excuse to wear his clothes.

He hopes she never stops, and his eyes scan the smooth skin of her abdomen.

Aaron gives up around hole six. It's not just his dead last ranking, he's never been good at golf. It's mostly because winning isn't the real goal for the night.

Katelyn flicks her eyes to him as she smiles, full of apology for taking too long. Like Aaron minds.

He doubts Andrew and Neil notice either; he watches Andrew follow Neil to the next hole with disinterest, like he regrets the whole evening. Aaron can't see his face from where he stands, but he sees Neil's soften at something in his twin's expression.

Yeah, the rest of the world might as well be chopped liver. Aaron can relate.

He turns back to Katelyn, and recalls analyzing her for a different reason. When they first started playing, he'd tracked her and Neil's movements, watching them both tilt their heads left and right, appraising the perfect angles. Neil's hand would come up to brush his bangs at the same time Katelyn's did, and they'd bite down on their bottom lips in anticipation.

It was almost synchronized.

He and Andrew exchanged a glance, but said nothing.

Stupid. Coincidence. Don't think about it.

And since then, Aaron hasn’t. His mood has been too good.

With Andrew and Neil out of sight, Aaron allows himself a smile, and slides up behind Katelyn. His hands rest easily on her hips, and she doesn't even flinch at the contact, so used to Aaron's hands. So trusting.

Aaron swallows down the lump in his throat. Ever since the trial, he thought she'd be done with him. Katelyn, her future so promising and heart so pure...

What could she want with someone like him, hands stained with blood?

But she'd never hesitated to pull him back.

"Mm, hi," Katelyn giggles, leaning back into him as her hips sway. "Gonna help me line up?"

Aaron rolls his eyes fondly, placing his hands over the grip, swinging the club forward slightly. "I don't know how much more I can do. You're taking this a little too far for someone nearly in last."

She scoffs, affronted. "Says the one actually in last. Thank goodness Neil is as competitive as me."

Aaron tries not to stiffen. "Ugh, he's so annoying."

Katelyn laughs, reading Aaron's groan as his normal Neil-based contempt. He grips her waist tighter, forcing Bee's words away.

"I knew I'd never win," Aaron shrugs, ignoring his girlfriend's smirk as best he can. "We can be losers together."

"I don't feel like a loser with you," she whispers, turning her head to graze her lips along his ear. Aaron doesn't bother to repress his shiver.

"Sap."

"You like it."

And in that moment, Aaron can no longer resist. He steals Katelyn's lips in a passionate kiss, thankful there's no one else around thanks to the chilly weather. Katelyn whimpers in his mouth, her muscles turning to jelly, and she swings the club lightly before abandoning it completely.

The ball flies way off course, bouncing from the green and onto the sidewalk, but he doesn't care. Neither of them do, and he sighs when Katelyn leans all the way into him.

When Katelyn's legs are less jelly-like, she runs off to collect her ball while Aaron trudges ahead. He doesn't expect to see the shadows of Neil and Andrew still at the next hole; he and Katelyn were preoccupied for a while, but when he catches a glimpse of the scene, he understands.

It's over and done the moment Andrew hears his footsteps, moving away from Neil in one swift movement.

It's like nothing ever happened, Andrew's hands stuffed in his pockets; the only evidence is Neil hastily picking up his club.

But Aaron saw.

He didn't miss the closeness, Neil's back pressed to Andrew's chest as he leaned back for a kiss. He heard the end of Neil's sigh, his body melting to relax against Andrew.

Ah yes, he understands the sense of impending doom in Bee's office now. This is definitely going to be another one of those lessons isn't it?

He sighs; there's no avoiding it, only postponing. He walks up the Andrew calmly, not meeting his eye, even when Katelyn and Neil stand side by side again. It's so clear, like this.

Aaron glares into the void.

He wants to groan, to hate this.

But he can't.

--

The universe is an even bigger bitch than Neil.

Once the seed had been planted, it was like there was evidence everywhere. It's as if they'd been walking through a crime scene for months but just now noticed all the bloodshed.

They're sitting in the stadium lounge because of a rainstorm, waiting for the rain to subside just enough to get to their cars. Nicky complains loudly in the corner about missing his phone date with Erik, and Aaron blocks out the more inappropriate details.

He's in a good mood again; Katelyn came to see him practice, since cheer practice had been cancelled. She sits at the low coffee table in the lounge, scribbling away in her journal and shooting Aaron flirty glances.

It's great, and not even the Foxes' bickering can change that.

The lightning cuts through the walls again.

Okay, maybe they should leave.

Normally after a grueling practice, the Foxes would've braved the elements no matter how bad. They all just wanted to go home. Today is especially bad, lightning crackling in the sky.

Allison had been adamant they wait, but it seemed to only be getting worse.

"If even a single raindrop gets on me, it's your ass Day," she states, almost out of nowhere.

Kevin looks up from his dumb homework, wrinkles looking as old as his soul. Aaron is waiting for the day he snaps. It's one of the only bets he participates in. "Why me?"

Allison shrugs, like it's obvious. "I dunno, just feel like it."

"You do make it easy Kevin," Nicky interrupts, nodding sagely. Aaron actually laughs.

"Stop bullying Kevin, it's giving me a headache," Wymack yells from where he's polishing their trophy, probably just as unhappy at their presence. There's only so much he can tolerate in one day. He loves them, but they're all assholes.

"You're his father, you're biased," Nicky shoots back, flipping imaginary hair over his shoulder.

"You think I want to hear him whine?"

Kevin's hands go up in offense. The edges of a tribal tattoo peek out from where his sleeve falls, a work in progress that’s still healing and that they’re all pretty sure makes Wymack cry.  "I literally did nothing to deserve this."

Katelyn's laugh is sweet and good natured, cutting through their usual banter. "You guys are such sweet friends!"

Dan and Matt beam from where they're flopped over each other on the couch, more content to watch the rest of them argue. They're being oddly clingy, and Aaron doubts he's going to be seeing his room anytime soon.

"Aw, and you're an angel!" Nicky slides onto the floor next to Katelyn, hugging her tight. She's one of the only ones who can take the crushing weight of Nicky's hugs. "How did Aaron get so lucky?"

And well, he really must be in a good mood, because his reply comes smoothly and without hesitation. He doesn't care who's around. "I don't know," he breathes out with a smile, and Katelyn's eyes widen, icy blue shining in adoration.

The moment doesn't last long. A chorus of 'awws' fill the room, and Aaron's smile shifts into a frown almost comically. "Oh shut the fuck up."

Cigarette smoke fills his nostrils, and he looks to where his brother is dutifully smoking a cigarette indoors. He guesses Wymack is too tired to scold him, but for once Andrew's bored stare is welcome. At least he never has to worry about Andrew joining in on the Foxes' teasing.

Not in the traditional way anyways.

Andrew's eyes flick to the locker room entrance every now and again, waiting for Neil to emerge. He catalogs it for later, as ammo, before his attention flies back to Katelyn.

Katelyn bites her lip to keep down her grin, but then her eyes widen in gleeful realization. She pops up to join him against the wall, pulling out a few colorful bags from her backpack.

Instantly, Aaron knows what they are, can almost taste the salt. He's never been good with cravings, obviously.

He smiles at his own morbid joke, but it's overshadowed by actual appreciation. If Andrew has a thing for ice cream, then Aaron has a thing for chips. Specifically, this brand, with its alternating flavors.

"I almost forgot! I was at the store earlier and I saw these," Katelyn says as Aaron is already tearing open a bag. "It's the flavor you like, so I bought a big stash. It's under my bed at the dorm."

God, Aaron could marry her right then. He bites down on a chip, biting back a sigh. He's lucky he plays a sport, or he'd have some serious health issues because of these things.

"You're so thoughtful," he says, and he means it, pulling her in by the back of the neck to kiss her forehead. "I love you."

"They're chips not a kidney," Andrew deadpans from the window, still not looking at any of them. Matt snorts, but Aaron for a blissful moment that his brother isn't there.

"I think it's adorable," Renee throws into the silence, and Aaron is thankful.

He shoots her a nod as he loops his arm around Katelyn's waist, pulling her close. His next words are directed at one person and one person only. "I like that Katelyn knows me so well," he jabs, and feels Andrew pause mid-drag.

But that's the most he gets; he counts it as a win. As far as reactions go, this is a gold mine from Andrew. His twin fixes him with a bored stare. "Ah to be known..."

Aaron huffs, a self-satisfied grin stuck in place.

"I'm getting the hell out of here, I can't take it anymore," Matt urges as he jumps to his feet. Dan is quick to follow, the two hand and hand.

Aaron can't help but roll his eyes. "You just want the dorm to yourself for an extra fifteen minutes."

Matt waggles his eyebrows. "You got me there. Ready to run for it?"

Renee and Allison follow them dutifully, knowing he won't wait more than a few seconds for them to actually agree. With a scowl to freeze hell, Allison drapes her team jacket over her perfectly styled hair.

Honestly, why even make the effort.

The thunder booms again as they rush out the door, their silhouettes disappearing in the heavy rain. He's glad Andrew lets Katelyn in his car now, or else they'd be walking back to the dorms.

This is better too, because Katelyn has to sit in his lap. He's really glad she came.

Neil, as usual, walks in last, always holding them up despite his speedy reputation. His hair sticks to his forehead as he strolls out into the lounge, damp from a shower and muscles relaxed. "Where is everyone?"

Andrew takes too long to respond, if he was going to attempt it at all. His eyes scan Neil up and down before the interest is seemingly gone.

"Getting wet probably," Aaron remarks, trying not to be grossed out about what that look might mean for the two of them later. He's staying at Katelyn's.

"And not in the fun way," Katelyn jokes before her cheeks light up red, too relaxed in Aaron's presence. Adorable. "Oopsie."

Neil turns to her, blue eyes marred with confusion. "I don't get it."

Of course you don't.

It's not even the fact it's a sex joke, because Neil can pick up on their innuendos more often than not. The result of years on the run simply means a lot of slang goes over Neil's head.

Aaron scoffs.

Nicky sighs, unsurprised but just as disappointed. "Hey Neil, are you sure you and Andrew have sex?"

"Nicky." Andrew's voice is toneless, but cutting, and Katelyn backs herself and Aaron away in preparation for a potential strike. Her survival instincts have improved after time around the Foxes.

Nicky throws his hands up in surrender. At one point he might've been scared, nervous at Andrew's warning. Aaron knows things have been getting better between the two of them too though, and Nicky seems exasperated at most. "Alright, alright! Just saying."

Andrew's glare is gone in a blink, and he regards Neil's lost expression as he stubs out his cigarette. "I'll explain later."

Good enough for Neil, apparently. The striker walks over to Andrew as casually as possible while the rest of them collect their bags, but the energy in his step is there. Aaron might even call it giddiness.

Andrew raises a brow as Neil stops in front of him, amusement swimming beneath the surface. It's gone as soon as Neil shrugs off his jacket and pushes it into Andrew's arms. Andrew doesn't move to take it, letting it fall to the floor. Neil snorts, no doubt expecting it. "C'mon, I know you're cold."

His smirk is teasing as he stares at Andrew's exposed shoulders a little too long. Katelyn leans in to whisper in Aaron's ear. "Guess your brother has as little cold tolerance as you do."

"Whatever," he mutters, much to her amusement.

It's freezing okay? At least he's not wearing a muscle t-shirt like Andrew. Idiot.

Andrew and Neil have a stare down for another five seconds before Andrew scoops up the jacket in the most petulant display Aaron has ever seen.

"You know nothing," Andrew says, shoving his arms through the sleeves as he ignores Neil's bright grin. Before he can turn away towards the door, Neil's voice stops him again, yanking him back.

"Oh by the way," Neil says with the wave of a hand. He fishes into his bag to pull out a king size Milky Way, only slightly crushed from whatever crap he keeps in there.

He hands it to Andrew as if it's a roll of money, as payment for a deal. Maybe he knows candy is just that important to Andrew.

Andrew stares at it, no doubt having the same crisis Aaron is currently having.

It doesn't matter, doesn't mean anything. Lots of boyfriends and girlfriends buy each other things...it's normal.

He glances quickly between Neil and Katelyn.

They're not alike. They're not.

"I got it for you, you ate your last one right?" Neil asks, shrugging with the ghost of a smile. "I know you like the dark chocolate better but they were out."

"I didn't ask," Andrew states, still staring at the candy bar in his hand.

Neil smirks, walking past him and out into the rain without a care. He is mindful not to brush their shoulders though. "You didn't need to."

Andrew's grunt is left up to interpretation, and Aaron doesn't care to figure out what it means.

Katelyn happily runs after Neil, eager to get to the car. Andrew's shoulders relax as he pulls out his keys, stuffing the candy in the jacket pocket for later.

As much as Bee's words ring in Aaron's head, annoying and worrisome, Aaron can't help but take advantage.

Andrew deserves it.

He stops right as he's about to pass Andrew, watching Neil and Katelyn jump in a puddle on accident. As if sensing Aaron's shit-eating grin, Andrew turns, and the words breeze out of Aaron's mouth. "Ah, to be known--"

"Fuck you."

--

Aaron makes a list in his head, because he can't resist it. It only grows as he notices more things, which doesn't help his stress.

Neil and Katelyn. Katelyn and Neil.

They're both dense when it comes to flirting.

They're both thoughtful when it concerns the twins (but Neil is still an asshole in every other arena of life okay, that's not up for debate.)

They're both competitive.

Lightweights.

Focused.

Straightforward.

That doesn't begin to cover the physical things Aaron had noticed earlier, but he forces himself to stop there. He doesn't know how much more he can take. Is it really possible? Could his beautiful, thoughtful girlfriend be anything like that arrogant exy addict?

Aaron scratches his head furiously as he trudges up the stairs to his dorm; he doesn't have time to be worrying about this. He skipped his last class for extra review time, so he better take advantage of the team's absence. Even sharing a room with Matt doesn't guarantee him peace and quiet. The Foxes all end up congregating one way or another, but Aaron knows they've all got full schedules at this time.

It's perfect, but his hope dies when he rounds the hall and hears voices coming from an open door. It's Andrew's dorm.

That's odd, he thinks. It's not like Andrew or Neil to be home at this time, and Kevin and Nicky wouldn't be far behind them.

Aaron slows as he passes, and a flash of blond is all he sees for a moment. Aaron's feet stick to the floor as he jolts back.

Andrew sits on the couch in the dorm, staring at nothing. It wouldn't be so uncommon any other day, but something in his eyes makes Aaron's blood run cold.

Or maybe it's the absence of something, the absence of anything.

If he didn't know better, he'd think Andrew a corpse. But the tense set to his jaw and shoulders say otherwise. He's never seen someone seem wound so tight but so defeated all at once.

He's definitely not used to seeing it from his brother.

There's a pale, haunted quality to his face, like he's not really there, like he's somewhere else far, far away from all of this. Knowing where Andrew has been, what he's seen...

Aaron doesn't want to think about what Andrew's going through in that moment, but he has a few ideas. The echoes of a drugged cackle poison Aaron's thoughts and he bites the inside of his cheek hard.

Andrew's bad days...he hardly lets anyone see them, and Aaron's next thought is so selfish it twists him up inside.

For a second, he's glad Andrew hides this...these days of his where nothing's okay. Aaron wouldn't know the first thing about dealing with them, and offering any real help would be nothing more than an unattainable hope.

It chokes him; he hates himself for standing there, for seeing, for staring like Andrew is some caged animal waiting to strike. He knows he has to leave, he knows, but he doesn't know how to move.

He's not the one who makes the decision for him; like a ghost, Neil crosses the front of the doorway, obscuring Aaron's view of the whole scene. His scarred hand flies to the door, as if meaning to slam it shut, to keep Andrew protected, when Neil recognizes him.

However, there's a split second where he does not, and Aaron is treated to another rare sight. For a moment, that stupid session with Bee pops back into his mind. The part of his brain which isn't frozen by Neil's stare laughs at him; ah, finally, a difference.

Because see, there's no doubt about it. Katelyn and Neil are fiercely protective, and Aaron knows Katelyn would be there for him in his lowest moments. She's proved it; she was there after Drake's attack, after the first few brutal therapy sessions. Always listening, caring.

But here is where Aaron sees a critical gap between her and Neil, and he's reminded none too kindly that Neil was born in a world of blood and flesh.

Katelyn's humble suburbia was always out of his reach.

The look which crosses the striker's face is downright murderous, pure contempt dripping off his threatening grin. The guard dog is out in full force, but it's so much more than that. This smile...it's so sharp edged and without remorse, it can only come from years of training to be a force of pain and suffering.

The Butcher's Boy, one article had called him.

It's the kind of smile which makes a promise. It says no matter how cutting it may look, it's nothing compared to what the wearer's hands can do.

Had Aaron been anyone else, a stranger, a genuine threat...

He wonders what Neil would've done.

But then the look is gone, falling from Neil's expression as he realizes it's Aaron. The cool, assessing stare is back, and some of the tension fades. He still keeps the door partly closed, his body blocking Andrew from Aaron's vision.

Aaron just stares.

He and Neil get along better now, for sure, but there's always going to be suspicion between them both. Part of Aaron will always have the fear of Neil hurting Andrew, and Neil will always have the fear of Aaron doing the same.

After all, Aaron has misunderstood his brother before, hasn't he?

Vile words screamed in therapy replay in his head, and he swallows down the guilt.

He guesses for once, he can't blame Neil.

"Problem?" Neil eventually whispers, fixing Aaron with a look which dares him to say anything about Andrew.

The reflexive glare and biting retort fade before they can even manifest. Aaron looks down at his shoes, trying to find words to show Neil he gets it, that he understands.

He's not at that point yet though, and he knows it.

But one day, he hopes to be.

"No," he settles on instead."I don't think there is."

He wonders what it means when Neil's body relaxes, and Aaron's chest fills with warmth.

--

The next incident doesn't happen for a few days, lulling them both into a fall sense of security. Andrew is back to normal, if not walking a little faster in Neil's direction.

Aaron is too relieved to comment on it.

He sometimes wonders why the universe is out to get him specifically, but he reminds himself that he's somehow managed his way out of every bad situation one way or another.

He figures it's best not to question it, but the anguish is still real.

He's walking with Andrew to the track where cheer practice is held, since Neil and Katelyn told them to meet up there before meeting Nicky for dinner.

It's mandatory on Thursdays now, no matter how many times they try to skip. Nicky finds them.

Bringing Katelyn into things had been a dirty trick, and Aaron mostly blames Neil for proving to everyone it works. Now, Nicky isn't above using his girlfriend against him. On the flipside, Neil has no reason to refuse Nicky's invitation. And like that, Andrew's presence is ensured, at least for an hour.

Aaron wishes he was clever enough to sneak away undetected like his twin.

As he's about to voice his complaints, they reach the top of the hill overlooking the field, and Andrew halts right in front of him.

It's so abrupt, Aaron barely dodges walking right into his brother. It's a good thing too; Andrew (much to Aaron's jealousy) is built like a brick wall. Even without the threat of a bruised nose, touching Andrew from behind is never a good idea for anyone's health.

Aaron yelps, glaring at his twin as he stumbles to the side. "Andrew, what the fuck?"

Andrew doesn't respond, his stare fixed straight ahead and twitching more and more by the second.

Aaron turns his head, trying to see the source of the problem when the wind is knocked out of him. He spins back towards his brother not even a second later, eyes frantic.

"No," he pleads, he's not sure to who. His whisper is the definition of panic. "Andrew no--"

"Shut up," Andrew bites out, setting his jaw. "It doesn't mean anything."

How can you say that? "Seriously?!"

He points a finger towards the field, as if that explains everything. He knows it does.

Down on the green he watches Katelyn and Neil take turns with various cheerleading moves. The cartwheels and tumbling come easy to both of them, their bodies lithe and flexible, and fucking Josten just has to be a fast learner. The striker watches Katelyn intently as she demonstrates a handstand before falling back to a standing position. Neil manages to copy it perfectly, and Katelyn claps in elation next to him.

There's no way Aaron is awake. The worst thing is, Neil looks pretty comfortable, like they've done this before. How had he and Andrew missed all this?

Aaron almost falls to his knees in defeat, and momentarily thinks of paying up to Bee even though there's no actual bet in place. "Hey, if Josten becomes a cheerleader I'm going to break all of Dobson's figurines and then blind myself with the shards."

It gets Andrew's attention at the very least. He looks back over at Aaron, unimpressed. "Don't be so dramatic."

Yeah, I'm not the one who stopped in my tracks...

A beat of silence passes between them as they watch Neil and Katelyn bounce around, carefree and energetic. Something soft lodges itself inside Aaron's chest despite his annoyance, and he notices Andrew's shoulders release some of the pent up tension.

Aaron tries to guess what Andrew is thinking, nothing unusual there. It's an interesting speculation though. Even as just Neil's teammate, Aaron wonders what it means to Andrew to see someone with Neil's history look so content.

It's probably not something their kind is usually afforded; freedom, leisure, contentedness.

With the shared vulnerability sitting in the air between them, Aaron finds room for a step forward. Sighing, he stuffs his hands into his pockets awkwardly. If Andrew is ready to talk about it, so is he. "Do you think...maybe Dobson had a poin--"

"No."

Aaron rolls his eyes. Ok, fine. He guesses it's not time yet after all.

They stand there until Neil and Katelyn finish, taking a water break and checking their phones. The moment passes by heavily, the beginnings of understanding stirring between them whether Andrew likes it or not.

Of course, Andrew can ruin any moment.

Neil starts his cool down stretches, and Andrew's eyes flit up his strong legs, lingering a bit too long.

Aaron sputters, face flushing in realization. "Are...are you seriously checking him out right now? With me right here?!"

Andrew rolls his eyes, finally stalking off towards the field. "Don't worry, I won't pop a boner like you did freshman year."

Something in Aaron dies, remembering all too vividly the first time he saw Katelyn practice. He shoves down the embarrassment, but the agony stays. "That was one time!"

--

They somehow end up at the same lunch table in the courtyard one afternoon. Aaron knows he keeps labeling these instances as rare and unplanned, but they're starting to become too frequent for him to ignore.

And it's surreal, not being so uptight around his brother, waiting for a fight to break out between them. It's more than he'd ever thought they'd have.

It's nice.

Or it would be, if vermin didn't exist.

Katelyn and Neil are exchanging exercise tips across the table, Katelyn flipping through her phone to show Neil some good stretches for certain cheer moves. Aaron isn't quite sure how they'll be useful in an exy game, but he's not going to stop Neil from burning off any of his annoyingly high energy. Beside Aaron, Andrew reads his newest novel, eyes appraising Neil every now and again.

It's then two guys from the football team walk by, regarding them both with a clear intent. Aaron's hackles are immediately raised; he's never seen these two before, but it's obvious Neil and Katelyn have from how quickly their smiles leave their faces.

Ah, classmates then.

"Trying to be a cheerleader now Josten?" The one whose jacket reads McGuire taunts. "Knew you had no shame."

Katelyn bristles immediately, never one for random hostility. How she gets along with the Foxes at all is a miracle. "Hey--"

Neil stops her protests with a hand to her wrist, and his unimpressed stare is only one indication of his connection to Andrew.

Of course, Neil's back-talking abilities are all his own.

"Is that really the best you can do?" He sighs, inconvenienced by this whole thing. The shift is amazing, his lazy grin and determined stare gone in favor of tiredness. This is obviously not the first time he's dealt with these douchebags, and Aaron is astounded Neil didn't put them in their place already.

Perhaps Wymack's anger management lectures are sticking a little.

"I'm sure you've seen the news articles," Neil continues when the two aren't quick enough to respond, the edges of his blade-like smile slipping now and again. "You think that's what's going to get to me, some jabs about cheerleading? I'm shaking."

Aaron will give it to him, he sure knows how to make someone feel lower than dirt. Neil doesn't bother to make eye contact at all, almost talking through the two lumbering jocks. They would beat Neil into the dirt easily based on size and upper body muscle alone, but no one ever gets away unscathed when Neil is involved.

Douche #2 bristles, face flushing red. "Listen you--"

"Are we done here?" Neil bites out, and Katelyn is smirking at his side. "More of my brain cells die the longer you're in my way.

Katelyn winces, performative. "Is that why I have a headache? It's contagious."

Hearing Katelyn say something not nice is enough to have Aaron's brain stalling, rendering him useless.

McGuire's anger is all for Neil as he growls. "You're going to regret that mouth of yours."

Ha-ha.

In the corner of his eye, Aaron sees Andrew's hand curl around his armbands, right where a knife should be. Threats to Neil aren't things he takes well, but they have an agreement.

Neil can fight his own battles, until he can't.

"All things I've heard before," the striker waves them off dismissively, but there's a new wave of heat in his eyes. "I don't give a fuck what you say about me, it's nothing I haven't heard, and just like you, it'll be forgotten in the blink of an eye."

It's the biggest of insults to people so full of themselves, and McGuire means to lunge when his friend clamps down on his shoulders.

Aaron thinks it's a rare demonstration of defeat, but he should know better.

"C'mon don't punish them too much man," Douche #2 says, fake pity swelling his words. At this point, Katelyn and Neil are back staring at their phones, Neil's awareness only given away by the hand poised to block a hit at a moment's notice. They're the picture of 'I don't care what you say about us,' until they're no longer the targets. "Their lives are hard enough, they're already dating the Minyards."

Neil's posture does a 180 in an instant, the same time Katelyn's untroubled expression wrinkles up in anger. Neil's full attention is on the two now, and they shrink back an inch. Neil's voice is a snarl. "What the fuck did you just say?"

Katelyn isn't far behind, fists clenched on the table. "Yeah, what the hell is that supposed to mean?"

Now, Aaron knows at this point he should step in. It's not Katelyn's or Neil's fight anymore. It's his name, Andrew's name, being thrown around in the dirt. He can handle himself, can give as much as he gets and then some. But the fury on Katelyn's face has him sitting like a stone in his seat, throat dried up like the brush Neil's glare could set fire to.

Beside him, his twin assesses the scene in his own way, with an expression Aaron cannot read. Goddammit Andrew.

McGuire laughs, like the answer is obvious. He must not have any real experience with Andrew or the rumors about him, because most people wouldn't dare provoke the sleeping lion in Andrew's chest. That, or they're both actually that stupid. "How can you stand these midgets? Do they make you feel good about yourselves because of their shitshow lives? Must've been hard to find someone more messed up than you, Josten."

"Dunno why you'd waste your time with a criminal Katelyn," Douche #2 throws in. "You guys have a thing for that?"

Something in Katelyn snaps, and she shoots up from her seat quickly enough to make Aaron flinch. Andrew regards her for once.

"Aaron is twice the man you'll ever be," she huffs, laughing in disbelief. "You're just jealous he's top of the class and on the Exy team, and Andrew is already being scouted by the pros! Neil--"

And of course, Neil doesn't like to hear anyone sing his praises. He cuts Katelyn's temper off with his own, hand still around her wrist. In the back of his mind, Aaron thinks to ask Katelyn how much she keeps up with Andrew's life, how she sees it as important despite how cruel he was to her, how uncompromising.

The feeling in Aaron's lungs is suffocating.

"They actually have futures, so keep their names out of your idiot mouths," Neil warns, the promise of pain hard to ignore. Andrew's eyes never leave Neil's face. "If Andrew doesn't kill you, I will. He's got nothing to prove, neither does Aaron. You're both pathetic compared to them, so shut up with your cheap blows."

"Totally! Leave our boyfriends alone!" Katelyn crosses her arms, her high ponytail swishing from the abruptness of it. She's huffing, not nearly as composed as Neil, but just as upset. Protective.

Neil laughs beside her, dry and over this conversation. He drags Katelyn back down easily, but never touching her more than he has to. "Don't be too mean to them Katelyn, they're obviously trying to overcompensate for something."

Both jocks flinch, but any kind of response dies on their lips.

"How sad," Katelyn throws in airily, bringing out the full extent of her sorority girl cattiness.

McGuire, red in the face from humiliation, tries to salvage what he can. "Why you--"

"Bye," Neil and Katelyn say at the same time, waving them off in clear dismissal. Their eyes are back to staring at their phones, point made. It's...impressive, but Aaron will never admit it.

He's glad he never got on Katelyn's bad side.

Kicked to the curb, the two idiots slink off with tails between their legs. It's as if someone presses play again on the scene, because the sounds of the courtyard and the muffled conversations of nearby tables fill Aaron's ears again.

He notices Andrew, tense, sit back on the bench. Aaron hadn't seen him move to get up, but he guesses Andrew is torn between chasing after those guys to threaten them on his own and simply staring at Neil like he's some kind of alien. Maybe he is. Andrew's expression is comical, like he's not sure whether to be angry with Neil about trying to protect him when he doesn't need it, or pull him into a kiss.

Aaron would rather not think about the last one, or the innocent spin he's putting on it. If his brother feels anything like he does, there's a lot more than kissing on his mind right now.

Neil looks over at Andrew, a secret passing between them as Neil smiles in another way, softer than Aaron is comfortable with.

He tears his gaze away.

"Anyways, I was thinking we could all go see that new movie this weekend," Katelyn's cheery voice returns, as if nothing happened. She's shoving her phone too close to Neil's face, almost making him cross-eyed.

Neil's confusion, for whatever reason, makes Aaron want to slap him. Maybe because a minute ago he looked ready to gut someone. "I can't, I never saw the first one. Allison told me it's a sequel."

Katelyn gasps, her hand slapping the table. "Oh my god Neil! You have to watch it," she insists, turning on Aaron so fast he yelps. "Aaron, tell him he has to watch it."

Aaron blinks, once at his girlfriend, then once at Neil. "Uh, you have to watch it?"

Neil squints at him, tilting his head at Katelyn even as the words are completely directed at him. "Why do I care what Aaron thinks?"

"Fuck off Josten."

Katelyn only giggles. She's never believed Aaron and Neil disliked each other, and over time, he's starting to think she's right.

Neil is still the worst though. He forces himself to believe it, but he can't ever forget the way Neil just defended him without question. Rude.

"I'll send you the link so you can watch it online, you'll love it I promise. Andrew can watch with you!"

Katelyn knows Neil too well for only knowing him a short time. Neil's face lights up at the suggestion, a silent question directed at Andrew in the next second.

Andrew just sighs, nodding once.

It must fucking make Josten's day, that's how relaxed he looks.

Damn you.

Katelyn giggles, checking her screen for the time. Her smile is replaced by panic. Instinctually, her hand flies out to grab Neil, her manicured hands digging into his jacket. "Oh shoot, we're gonna be late for class!"

She bumps her knee as she stands, shoving her books hastily (along with a half eaten donut) into her backpack. Neil is less in a hurry, but he doesn't seem to mind being dragged by the arm towards the math building. Nerd.

"Bye sweetie," Katelyn throws over her shoulder, blowing him a kiss. There's a blush on her face, no doubt because of the incident from before, and Aaron's answering grin says they're not done talking about it.

He plans to show his appreciation, thoroughly.

"Yeah uh...bye...I love you! A lot." Yes, very cool. He clears his throat, but if anything, his lack of smoothness makes Katelyn beam brighter.

"I love you too!"

"I'll be home soon," Neil says, more subdued but no less of a promise. For a blink, it's like only he and Andrew exist in the world.

"I don't care," Andrew states, but he never breaks eye contact, and even Aaron doesn't believe him. For so long, his brother cared about next to nothing. The difference is impossible not to notice.

Neil must feel the same way.

"Sure you don't," he grins, smug and hinting at things which make Aaron want to puke. Amusement crosses Andrew's face before it's gone, and Aaron rolls his eyes. "See you later."

And like that, they're gone.

The quiet between them is charged, but not volatile like they're used to. There's defeat laced in it, an elephant sitting in the room. It never left probably, not since that session with Dobson.

In his head, Aaron adds another thing to the list: quick tempers.

"Andrew..." He tries again, knowing he doesn't have to explain any more than that as they stare at the spots Katelyn and Neil sat.

The refusal doesn't come as quick this time, he notes with a chill. Ah, they're getting close then.

"No," Andrew sighs finally, but it sounds so much more like resignation this time around.

--

Andrew and Neil are sitting at the top row of the empty stadium when Neil can't hold back his curiosity anymore.

Andrew senses it immediately, and dammit, he thought he had at least a few more days of peace.

Neil turns to Andrew lazily, but his gaze is anything but. Andrew knows the look, would know it in death. It spells trouble and a million other things he can't stand but which make his insides flip anyways. "Are you ever going to tell me what has you and Aaron acting all weird lately?"

Andrew releases a breath, craving a cigarette. He regards Neil lazily, but he's not looking for anything specific on his junkie's face. Andrew knew Neil had noticed something was on his mind the day after that fateful session with Bee, but he's been giving Andrew time.

Always considerate, always waiting for Andrew to be comfortable enough to broach the subject.

Andrew hates him, hates how much he doesn't.

Neil waits patiently for Andrew to collect his thoughts, not even fidgeting from where their shoulders are pressed together. It's cold out, Andrew wishes they were in bed. Kevin owes him for letting Thea visit.

But, seeing Neil in Andrew's jacket isn't the worst thing he's ever seen.

Andrew taps his fingers against Neil's open palm, but there's no need to find an excuse. He doesn't lie to Neil. "Bee said you and Katelyn were alike during our last session."

He strips the issue down to the bare bones, knowing Neil can read between the lines. Andrew will never admit to being upset by something so dumb, so he lets Neil bring it up for him. It's the same way Andrew won't let Neil get away with acting okay when he's definitely not.

Neil tilts his head, mulling over the words.

"Hm," he hums eventually, and much to Andrew's annoyance, Neil looks contemplative rather than shocked. "That bothers you."

And there it is.

Andrew runs a hand through his hair, his only tell that he's frustrated.

Bothers him?

Nothing is supposed to bother him, but he remembers feeling Bee's words like a bucket of ice water just like Aaron had.

He hates it, because he can't stop thinking about it.

Neil's hand closes around his, a grounding force. Andrew pulls away; he needs to see Neil's face, but he keeps their hands together so Neil knows he didn't overstep. Neil looks so pleased Andrew wants to shove him off his seat.

"It's untrue," he settles on instead, bypassing any kind of confession. Again, it's the simplest, non bullshit answer.

Amusement fills Neil's entire being, but he's not so dumb at least, because he keeps his laugh down.

Neil bites down on his bottom lip, the one Andrew nipped raw this morning in between kisses. "Is it? I think Katelyn and I accomplish the same thing, maybe that's what Bee meant."

Bee said the same thing. For someone who hates therapists so much, Neil sure can sound like them sometimes.

Andrew raises a brow, urging Neil to elaborate. It's payback, in a way. Neil's huff is a small salve for Andrew's annoyance.

Neil has never been gifted with words outside of lies and insults; these moments, where he tries to explain his innermost thoughts and feelings are as entertaining as they are brutal. Andrew often cannot handle them, but like a fool, he never wants to stop listening. The fact Neil's eloquence disappears at times like this is the only thing which helps Andrew keep it together.

Neil squirms in his seat, staring at their hands. "Well, Aaron likes Katelyn because she makes him feel normal, you know?"

Andrew makes no such indication that he knows.

Neil powers on admirably. "And...you like me because..."

Neil pauses, waiting for Andrew to the deny the statement, to counter it with the usual 'I hate you' so Neil can move on.

But Andrew doesn't have the energy for that, hasn't for a while. Neil's eyes widen when he realizes Andrew isn't going to refute anything, and seeing him so slack-jawed puts Andrew's mind in a whirl.

Oh, what is he going to do about this? Is there anything he can do, at this point? Over a year with Neil, and part of him knew he was done for weeks before Baltimore. Perhaps even months.

"I like you because?" Andrew sighs, the words foreign and sickly. This feeling...is uncomfortable, but not in the way a stranger's hands on him would be. It's the kind of squeamishness that comes from experiencing pleasure, experiencing warmth, when before he'd had no exposure to it.

It's new, but he knows Bee would want him to embrace it when he can. Today is not a bad day, so he does. And like everything, the more he says it, the less upsetting it'll be. The less undeserving he'll feel.

Smiling, and not bothering to try and hide it, Neil continues. "You and Aaron have been through a lot. Aaron doesn't like to think about it, he likes to know he's okay and that he can still enjoy a life other people would. Girls, parties, school."

Oh yes, he knows. He used to resent his brother for all of it, each step away from him in direct violation of their deal. Now, he knows Neil is right.

"Katelyn is his reassurance, his reminder of all that."

Aaron's perfect, sheltered cheerleader. Yet, she'd somehow managed to understand his twin despite all the ugliness. Her face stopped being offensive a while ago.

Neil, as if sensing Andrew's train of thought, smirks briefly. Shut it.

But Andrew doesn't mean it.

"But what you...prefer is understanding," Neil says, noticeably preventing himself from saying 'want' instead. Andrew says he does not want, though Neil has never believed him. "You and I don't shy away from the ugly parts of life because we can't..."

'It's all over us.' It goes unsaid. Neil's gaze settles on Andrew's armbands, seeing the scars underneath from memory alone. In the same vein, Andrew reaches up to dig his thumb into Neil's shoulder, exactly where he remembers an old bullet wound to be. Neil's breath catches, a pleased shiver rocking through him.

Andrew really hates Kevin now.

"Reassurance versus understanding. Those are the things you and Aaron value, so...I dunno. It makes sense to me," Neil whispers, shrugging. He does that, when he's not sure of himself, if he's not sure Andrew will accept the answer.

Neil is a fool, and he'll surely be the death of Andrew. He should've thrown him out onto the streets day one, but given the chance now he knows he won't.

He digs his finger harder into the bullet hole, kneading the flesh there as his eyes trace the rest of Neil's body, seeing the slashes littered all over it.

Anger rises in his throat unwarranted, and his grip on Neil's shoulder tightens without forgiveness. Neil doesn't flinch away, like he knows Andrew would never hurt him, and it makes Andrew hate this even more.

Because people have hurt Neil.

Yet he can still look at Andrew like that, he can still do stupid cartwheels and annoy Kevin and shop with Allison on the weekends.

He overcame everything to become Neil Josten, and who else could possibly know a thing about that?

"It does not mean you're the same," he growls out, hand untangling from Neil's to hold his face in his hands. Andrew's thumb slides over the ruined skin under Neil's eyes, where his nerves no longer work. "She does not have these, she'll never..."

She'll never know. She's not like you, no one is like you.

No one else could do this to Andrew, and it's so dangerous, such a weakness.

Andrew trembles from the force it takes to not push Neil away from him.

Neil knows better than to touch back, not when Andrew is giving so much, and Andrew glares at him for that. He's always giving Neil too much, and he doesn't know how to stop, doesn't even think about stopping.

Slowly, Neil reaches forward to grab the sleeve of Andrew's coat, tugging once. "I know that, Andrew I know."

Andrew's trembles subside from Neil's voice alone, and cautiously, Neil skims his fingers along the fabric of Andrew's forearms. His scars. Andrew's grip relaxes.

It's a touch he's familiar with now, it's Neil proving the understanding is real.

Andrew sags into his seat when Neil speaks again, boring into pools of icy blue. Neil never backs down from the intensity of Andrew's stare. "But we both care about you two in the same ways," Neil says, not letting Andrew interrupt despite the flinch of his shoulder. "We know what you like and what you hate and are good at knowing when you're not...okay. If anyone badmouthes you, we're quick to go for the throat. I'm fine, ugh, more than fine having those things in common with Katelyn. You know how I'm different, that's all I need."

'No one else should be able to see me like that.'

It's shockingly vulnerable coming from Neil, not something he affords to anyone outside his family of Foxes.

It voids Andrew's argument. He's still not necessarily on board with the assumption, the comparison of Neil and Katelyn, but he trusts Neil.

He thinks of Aaron then, and wonders if he's reached the same conclusion. Andrew sighs, knowing Bee will have an absolute fucking field day with this. The anger simmers and dies right then, and he resigns himself to the consequences. There's no room for regret.

Maybe it's not the worst thing for him and Aaron to share, having two hot-headed cart-wheelers caring about them.

Andrew grimaces, but pulls Neil flush against him anyways. It might as well be a white flag.

The air is cold, but Andrew can't feel the chill. Neil hums, pleased with the show of affection, and Andrew doesn't have the energy to warn him for it.

Instead, he lets Neil press against him, the weight natural and not threatening. Idly, Neil traces the lines on Andrew's palms, delighted when the touch tickles enough for Andrew to twitch.

It's peaceful in a way Andrew has never known, but is becoming increasingly commonplace now that he acknowledges their 'this.'

Maybe it has something to do with Aaron too, but that's neither here nor there.

Neil raises his head, the question barely out of his mouth before Andrew slots their lips together.

There's no urgency or harshness like there used to be, but Andrew stopped being concerned about that too. He doesn't like to think about how fast he got used to this.

Of course, Neil can never leave well enough alone, that or he just likes to annoy Andrew. It's probably both. When they break apart, Neil's grin is smug. "Although, as far as physical similarities go, you're shit out of luck there."

"Neil."

"What?" Neil asks innocently, ignoring the warning in Andrew's tone. "Is it really so bad to think you and Aaron might have a thing for redheads?"

"I'll push you down these stairs."

"You like me too much," Neil points out, and Andrew can't refute it when he admitted it only minutes before.

Fucking junkie.

"Stop assuming."

"It's the truth," Neil taunts, grin still in place. "Isn't it?"

And oh, fuck Neil Josten to hell and back.

Andrew really, really hates Kevin.

"Yes," he grits out, resisting the urge to punch that look off Neil's face. Instead, he goes for a different approach. His eyes trail up Neil's body from head to toe. The baggy jacket isn't doing Neil many favors, but his legs are still clad in those yoga pants Andrew can't stand, clinging to his muscular legs and narrow hips. Andrew pauses over Neil's collarbones, then the lines of his neck. There's a few bruises there still, courtesy of Andrew.

As if sensing the shift in the air, Neil swallows, and Andrew watches the bob of his throat with interest. "What?"

Andrew shrugs as lazily as he can. "I'm not so sure. She does not have these," he begins to list, grabbing the piercings lining Neil's left ear. Sensitive skin; Andrew hadn't protested when Neil had come home with the new jewelry, Matt's idea. Neil's breathing stutters. "Or this..."

Andrew's hand grazes over his adam's apple, pressing down teasingly.

It's so easy to get Neil worked up, Andrew thinks, a product of the striker's unlimited supply of energy. Andrew never has a problem helping Neil burn it off. Neil is so transfixed, eyes glazing over and breath coming out in harsh pants. He doesn't even notice Andrew's hand ghosting farther down, hovering right over his groin.

Andrew gets so close to touching, his fingers tickling the fabric of Neil's pants. But he doesn't, because he didn't ask. It doesn't dull the effect of his raspy voice on Neil. "Or this--"

Neil's face flushes as expected, red tinting his cheeks as he laughs and grabs Andrew's hand. "Andrew!"

Neil looks around, as if expecting someone to pop out of nowhere to witness their shamelessness, but the stadium is as empty as it was before.

The corners of Andrew's mouth twitch upwards, imperceptible to anyone who isn't Neil. His breath is coming out a little labored now too, especially with Neil stealing glances at him and putting no effort into being subtle. There's only one thing to say. "I hate Kevin."

Neil snorts, agreeing. "How many times have you thought that in the last hour?"

"Shut up."

"Why don't you make me?"

And Andrew does, because there's no way he can refuse.

--

When he and Aaron go to their next session with Bee, they exchange a knowing glance. They're not dumb, they already know the subject is going to come up.

Aaron shifts in his seat uncomfortably when Bee sits in front of them, not quite sure how this'll play out. Of course, he's come to terms with Bee's statement from last time. Neil and Katelyn have a lot in common, and maybe it says something about the twins.

Sort of.

Whatever, he already drank plenty over it, and spent hours pushing the thoughts away while pinning Katelyn to her mattress.

It's fine, he's all good. He's accepted it.

That doesn't mean Andrew has, and Aaron eyes his twin nervously. Again, his brother takes a spoon to swirl his cocoa, letting it hit the rim each time. Bastard.

Bee is either oblivious to the tension in the room, or prepared for it. Aaron supposes she'd have to be.

She smiles at them, sweet as ever, and clicks her pen as the hour begins. "Well now, I guess I won't beat around the bush. Have either of you given a thought as to what we discussed last time?"

It's a ticking time bomb in Aaron's mind. The question is for them both, but he feels the spotlight settle on Andrew; the ball is in his court. He can either admit or deny, can condemn the whole session to hell with just a few words.

Andrew stops stirring his drink long enough to look between Aaron and Bee with disinterest. Aaron holds his breath while Andrew takes a sip of his mug, and then his twin just shrugs. "We might have a thing for redheads."

Aaron's jaw drops, and Bee's smile is overjoyed. Andrew looks like he'd rather be anywhere else in the world, but preferably with Neil.

Aaron is still staring at him stupidly when Bee clears her throat, her smile creasing her skin. "I'm very glad to hear you say that Andrew, thank you. Now, how about we discuss..."

Her words don't reach Aaron's ears quite yet. Andrew turns to him, a silent question, but Aaron only shakes his head, smiling in disbelief.

It's as much as they're going to get from him, they know, but it doesn't make it any less of a confession. It's Andrew acknowledging Bee's theory, accepting parts of it. Accepting Aaron again, as having more in common with him than a lifetime of strife.

Aaron settles back into the couch, limbs loose and chest light, and tries not to smile as much as he wants to.

Later, Katelyn tells Aaron to invite Andrew and Neil over to her dorm to watch that movie she mentioned.

He does, and it no longer feels like a shock when Andrew says yes.

[philosophiums]

{god okay finally i’ve finished!!!!! i’ve got drafts of all five parts done and am starting to go through and revise, which i will post as i complete. i could revise three or four more times but like...... don’t have time for THAT. so here’s the neil-in-a-dress au that @microolli​ has been drawing. hopefully this ends up being even *close* to what you were hoping for}

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Part One: Targeted

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

North Carolina’s humidity is reaching critical mass, and every breath of Andrew’s feels a little too much like warm water, like he shouldn’t be letting it into his lungs. Sundown didn’t help cool things off, and the breeze that had been blowing through the cracks in the windows has since choked off and left the three of them treading water. If he’d wanted to drown, he would have picked a better location; even he deserves something classier than a shitty black van parked on the side of some shitty two-lane road, lights off to hide better in the dark.

It’ll storm soon. Later tonight or tomorrow, but this slow buildup of airborne swamp water has to produce something destructive – there’s no other option. He just wants to be happily settled in some air conditioning before the sky splits.

Andrew sweeps his eyes up to check on Aaron beside him, noise-cancelling headphones settled over his head and eyes trained on the screens in front of him, and then he pivots to look at Nicky in the driver’s seat, whose hand is caught in his hair as he tries impossibly hard to stay alert.

Three hours have gone by. Something awful twists in the pit of his gut, instinct letting him know that whatever peace they’ve managed to hold is about to be disrupted. “Check in,” he says, returning to his original position, head down and eyes closed, his hands loose between his knees. He focuses on breathing and listening; those are his only concerns right now.

“One,” Dan’s voice scratches through his headphones, and then, “two,” as Matt follows suit. They’re in the building, the closest to the client, and no matter how much Wymack likes to go on about teamwork and making an effort to participate, this mission is on Dan and Matt’s shoulders. If something goes wrong and the client gets injured, it’s their fault. Allison and Renee count off three and four respectively, and their feedback is clearer because they’re closer – outside the building on the perimeter, sweeping circles back and forth to make sure nothing’s been planted. Andrew thinks it’s a pointless maneuver for only two people, that the gap in their patrol leaves a massive opportunity for anyone, but he doesn’t bring it up. Nicky’s five, which at least confirms that he’s still awake, and finally, from a full state away, Kevin and Wymack check in as six and seven. Aaron doesn’t get a number, both because Andrew’s eyes are on him and because he’s tasked with staying entirely focused on the cameras that they have running – so much so that Andrew’s in charge of the audio from everyone’s microphones and comms.

It’s absolutely pathetic that it takes nine people to keep one man alive when it should require only two, and take maybe four for padding on the wealthier clients. But before last year, Fox Den, Inc. couldn’t even manage with eleven people on-sight. Circumstances changed. People died. Kevin bled his way across several state borders and proclaimed he was staying, and then Andrew was convinced to stay, too. Sometimes, when Wymack bribes Andrew with just the right incentive, the whole plan runs smoothly. But usually they only barely manage to keep their clients alive, let alone unharmed. It’s as if their presence alone causes mayhem to kick up from the dust, and Andrew thinks that they would have better luck killing people for money – especially since right now they tend to get people killed and lose money – but the only time he voiced this, he got glared at and overruled. Maybe they’d manage better if they could work as a team, but Andrew’s more interested in keeping his family alive than the client, so shit tends to fall apart when anything gets serious.

Why Wymack hasn’t fired Andrew yet is really anyone’s guess. Probably because Kevin’s favorite mantra is that Andrew’s full of potential but lacking initiative.

Kevin thinks too much.

The venue they’re casing is a small but high-end party in a public building, the room reserved and vetted for by the property owners. The chatter coming through Matt’s microphone is mundane, if more muffled than normal given the dress restrictions of the event. There’s some money talk – in the way that wealthy people talk about money, which is to say there’s conversation about new business ventures and investments and how “overpriced but worthwhile” education is for their children. The conversation makes that dark lake in Andrew’s chest ripple with his anger, but none of the topics raise anything close to concern. There haven’t been any red flags all evening.

And Aaron hasn’t made any motion yet tonight to signal anything amiss on the screens, and there hasn’t been a perimeter breech that Allison and Renee have found, and there’s been no interruption of new information from Wymack or Kevin.

So, why does Andrew still feel like something’s about to go wrong?

He trusts his gut. “One, circle closer to the client,” Andrew instructs, head still down and eyes still closed. The van dips quickly towards the driver’s side and Andrew’s heart drops with it, but he doesn’t move at all. He assumes that it’s only Nicky turning around to look at him – Andrew hasn’t bothered to give orders pertinent to the mission in four… no, five jobs now.

“Something come up?” Dan asks, tone down as the chatter around her sways in and out of Andrew’s hearing, coming in from her headpiece and her suit mic as a unit of sound that only barely lines up and makes sense together.

Of course, Andrew could tell her the whole truth, which is that nothing solid has come to his attention. There’s no evidence that the job is about to go south. Matt is already close to the client. But the strangling snag of his gut has never lied to him before – so much trauma has tuned him to know exactly when it’s coming. “Yes,” he says, which is enough of the truth to assuage her, and doesn’t elaborate.

“Andrew?” God, Kevin needs to not be talking right now. Andrew’s fists clench between his knees. “Did you notice something? What did you hear?”

“I can’t hear anything with you filling up the radio waves.” And really, what a poor fucking design for this part of the plan, but Andrew stops thinking about how Nicky should be solely in charge of communication when he catches sight of Aaron moving, and that jerky motion drags all of Andrew’s attention to his twin.

His head snaps up, and he watches Aaron’s mouth move in a slow, incredulous way, though he can’t hear him at all given the chaos that suddenly erupts through Andrew’s headphones. He rips them off and drops them, welcoming the bang of silence through his head. With the way Aaron slumps in his chair, there’s no way the client is still alive.

“What the fuck just happened?” Nicky asks, and Andrew would bet it’s into the comm system as well, but he’ll just bog down the channel, since that’s what everyone else is asking, too. “Shit.” He moves like he’s about to bail from the front seat, and Andrew’s not sure if Nicky’s thinking about running inside or coming around the van to join them in the back, but he’s not taking chances.

“Stay put, Nicky. He’s dead.” Andrew says it with a sigh.

Nicky swears again, but he stops acting like he’s leaving.

Andrew’s slow to stand up, left leg braced out so that he doesn’t have to rush to find his balance. It’s been a long night, and it was all for nothing; now all that’s left is figuring out what the fuck happened. Aaron pulls off his noise-cancelling headphones and tosses them to the lip of a desk in front of him, and Andrew takes a step and a half to come up behind him.

“Rewind it,” he says. “Show me.”

Aaron doesn’t move right away, and their synced sluggish responses make Andrew wonder if the damp air has become something thicker without them noticing, or if they’re both starting to wonder what the point of them doing this is. It feels rote, so Andrew doesn’t rush Aaron into moving. Eventually, Aaron leans forward and rewinds the tape.

When the recording starts to play, all Andrew sees is boring rich white people milling about in clean-cut fashion. He finds their client in the upper corner of the main screen, and the middle of the right screen; Matt is half-visible in the main screen and gone in the left, and Dan is invisible in all three. He watches the main screen, sees Dan come in from the bottom, casually slipping through the crowd with a mellow urgency that no one picks up on. And then the client just drops.

No obvious killer.

Well. Shit.

“Again,” he says, eyes staying on the screen even when Nicky decides to scramble between the front seats and join them.

Once more, Aaron rewinds the tape. Andrew delegates them each a screen. “Watch the top left corner only,” he says, because now they need to find whoever killed their client and lost them more money and reputation. They go through until Aaron stops the tape and rewinds again, and again until Andrew stops him. “There.” He points at the figure, the one he noticed last time but this time is sure of.

“How can you tell it’s her?” Nicky asks, leaning closer to the screen as if proximity will make the pixels any more clear, as if it will make the cutting silhouette in the black dress and close-cut curly auburn hair turn around and show her face. “She’s so far away from him.”

As if that hadn’t been Andrew’s first hesitation in picking her out. “Watch her hand,” he says, and moves aside as Aaron rewinds the tape one last time to watch. A second before their client crumples, the woman raises her arm, fingers shaped like a pistol aimed at their client, and pulls it back like it’s been fired. There’s no weapon in sight, but their client dies anyway.

When they get back to Columbia, they’ll have to comb through all of the video footage to look for any other occurrence of the woman throughout the night, but for now they have authorities to deal with, and then Andrew is going to start drinking.

[thewalkingdead-imagines]

TWD ~ Negan Imagine - “The Storm”

Imagine for the finale of season 9

Summary: While the blizzard causes havoc Alexandria, Negan and the Reader have to face enormous challenges in the iciness of the raging storm that stretches them to their limit

the last part /all other previous parts (You don’t have to read any previous parts to understand the plot! Hope you all like it and enjoy reading)

Harsh wind was hitting the house, jerking the wooden panels that were covering it as the snow storm outside was beginning to fully enclose it in its icy depths.  A few months had passed since the bloody massacre at the fair, allowing the deepest winter to fully set in and invoke a blizzard that forceful that it had demanded its consequences for every community. By now it had forced half of Alexandria’s residents to split up to houses with large fireplaces that could warm each and every one of them, while the other half including Michonne was out there, helping the Kingdom’s citizen to move to the Hilltop after the winter had given its community the rest. And while the storm was raging outside, you found yourself huddled up in the meeting room, along with Negan who was chained with one hand to a folding cot and had much to your relieve been finally allowed to tag along with you and leave his prison that would have turned into an icy death cell for him. Cuddled into his side you watched the others pulling blankets over their freezing bodies as they shifted over their chairs or stumbled closer towards the flickering flames in the large fireplace, yearning to get a little of its heat. “C’mere, still got this fucker here”, you heard Negan’s low voice mumble as he felt you shivering as well, dragging the blanket that had rested folded on the bed over to you and spread it over your legs before pulling you closer against his side again. “Thank you”, you mumbled, reaching out to the blanket’s edge to pull it over his legs as well, before he stopped you quickly as he enclosed your hand in his and guided it back to your legs. “Nope, all for you”, he mumbled as you shot him a questioning glance, “I’m all fine and warm, and with that little change of scene I can only feel fuckin’ great.” He chuckled softly, the spark of excitement still stuck in his eyes as he wrapped his arm a little tighter around your waist to keep you in his warmth. For a moment, you sunk some more against him, allowing to let your glance sway around the room once more, capturing Rosita, Siddiq and Gabriel by the fireplace that had watched the scene between the both of you closely, with a look on Rosita’s face as if she was seeing a mirage.

“Aunt (Y/N), look at my picture”, RJ’s voice echoed through the room, pushing your glance to the boy who had until now sat at the table with some toys and crayons and who was now stumbling towards you and Negan. “Wow, now that’s awesome”, you softly chuckled as soon as he held it towards you, glancing over the drawn people that resembled his family and friends. “That’s you”, he mumbled pointing proudly to one of the figures while you felt Negan shifting closer towards you. “Damn buddy, you’re one hell of an artist”, he mumbled chuckling, before he shifted a little closer to your body and nodded towards the figure that was supposed to be you, “Looks just like her.” “But there’s something missing...”, RJ huffed, pondering as he looked at the paper in his hands. “Well maybe you can draw some trees and flowers, now that it’s all white outside we can use a little green, huh?”, you asked, smiling at him as he slowly began to nod. “Hmm yeah”, he mumbled, before he softly grumbled ,”But I can’t find the green crayon.” “Wait, I’ll take a look, alright? Maybe I can find some”, you said, nodding at the bunch of boxes in one edge of the room, half of them rests of what the others had brought from the fair while the others had always stayed in the meeting house, partly toys for the kids, partly random things that didn’t really belong anywhere else. Hefting yourself up you pushed the blankets onto Negan’s legs, giving him a smile as RJ was already stumbling back to his seat at the table while you made your way towards the boxes. Step by step you began to get a look at them, trying to figure out which ones were worthy to take a look at before you reached out for a small wooden one that seemed like made for stuffing crayons and other utensils into its inside. Pondering you clipped it open, using the dimmed light in the room as much as you could to catch what was inside before your glance caught everything else than crayons. Most of it were small forged goods, a couple rings of different sizes, balls, hooks and other small items that shimmered slightly in the light. “That’s one of the boxes from the fair...think Earl forged them just as demonstration for the kids”, you heard Siddiq’s voice behind you say, moving your glance to him for a moment as he nodded to box in your hands. “Ah okay”, you mumbled back, slowly nodding as you watched him walking back towards Rosita before you glanced back inside the box, allowing your glance to fall back on the rings as another memory sparked up in you. You’d never been able to find a fitting ring for Negan as counterpart to yours, not in these few months, but one of the white gold shimmering rings finally actually seemed like it could fit him. if you’d close the lid now, probably no one would ever find a real use in it again, nobody would actually use nor need it again, except for you. For a short moment, you pondered, before picking the ring up and sliding it into your jackets pocket, hoping to be able to give it to Negan as soon as you were alone and the storm was over. And so you closed the lid to the other rings and goods, just to move on with the next goods until you finally found more crayons and pencils four or five boxes later.

“There you go”, you said to RJ as you handed him the box, including one bright green and one darker one that laid inside, watching his face light up as he pulled his warm hat a little more over his head before reaching towards the box. “Thank you”, he mumbled smiling, right before he began to draw again, keeping himself distracted from the cold that was still swinging through the room despite the big fireplace. “I swear to God, I have memorized every square inch of this room. And it still feels like a party”, Negan’s voice brought your attention back to him as you watched him glancing around the room with a big smile plastered on his face, showing once that he enjoyed the storm or rather the effects it had by far more than anybody else. “A never-ending party from hell”, Rosita retorted from the other side of the room as she sat huffing down on one of the free chairs and stroke over her larger growing baby bump, as a thicker chuckle left Negan’s lips. “I mean, sure, all right. It smells like a goddamn barn in here, all bored shitless, but-” “Language!”, Judith’s voice rose up from your left, as she turned from the window to Negan for a moment. “Sorry. Sorry, kiddo”, Negan said, raising his hands in defense before hushing himself as he pressed his pointing finger against his lips, only to chuckle as he nodded towards Rosita, Siddiq, Gabe and Eugene who was still sitting beside them by a table ,”But, I mean, we've got ourselves this hot little love quadrangle here to entertain us. It's like Christmas to me.” “Well, maybe they're just as miserable at Aaron's or Barbara's”, you could hear Siddiq grumble before the moment his voice hushed Negan’s rose again. “Gabe, your girl's doc is also your girl's baby daddy, which kind of begs the question: Do you ever wonder what the hell was going on in there when she has her "appointments"?”, you could tell he enjoyed the hell out of this, to be able to get a little back and tease them, have the fun that was else going on his cost by having to stay in his cell, so instead of shooting him a warning glance you just shook your head with a growing grin on your face and a laugh you had to choke down. “You could try to be a little less predictable”, Gabriel huffed, stepping a little closer towards Negan who placed his hand above his heart and bit his lip, restraining a thicker chuckle. “Ahh. That hurts, Gabe, truly.” “You know, we're all grown-ups here. And none of us would ever let that ruin the longstanding friendships and mutual respect we have”, he said, a little too calm as Negan slowly began to nod even though the twinkle in his eyes showed you that there was more waiting. “You know what? You're right. That is a very mature attitude, Father”, he mumbled, the corners of his lips twitching and you could literally watch the anticipation and roguishness spread all over his face as he nodded at Gabriel, “...Not The Father.” Having to swallow down another laugh you walked grinning over to his side again, biting your lip as you felt the grin grow even wider on your lips as you plumped down next to him. ”Ha! Is that unpredictable enough for you?”, Negan chuckled as you glanced past the odd love triangle right at Eugene who had to bite a grin back as well, giving away what he was secretly thinking about this whole situation as well. Much differently was the expression on Gabriel’s face, annoyed and a little tense as he huffed slightly, trying to keep it together and make himself look as if this all was rushing past him, even though it was no secret that Negan’s teases actually hit the nail right on the head. “Maybe you shouldn’t put that much attention on our relationship and instead focus on yours”, Gabriel said, forcing his voice to be sharp as you could only feel Negan taking your hand into his and squeezing it lightly as he shook his head towards the priest. “Oh Gabey, between my wife and me is everything more than peachy and crystal clear”, he proudly but teasingly said, sending a warm shiver down your back the moment you heard the word ‘wife’ echoing through the room. You’d heard him mumble it to you before since the ring was adorning your finger, in a teasing or loving manner and every time it had gave you that tingling feeling in your whole body but stuck in that cell, he had never said it in front of others than maybe a guard. So now, hearing him say it out loud and with that swing of proudness in his voice that even trumped the tease in it, the wave of warmth that washed through you was even stronger. You couldn’t keep a bigger smile from forming on your lips, that kind of smile that you could’t get off your face regardless of the fact that you should rather nudge him gently into the side to get him off of Gabriel’s back. “Which I wouldn’t exactly say ‘bout the tangle of relationships you got there”, he chuckled, biting his lips as he saw Gabriel’s annoyed reaction as he turned around. “Once I’m out I at least gotta have some fun”, Negan mumbled in the very next moment into your ear, chuckling softly as you glanced over at him. “Yeah, think I’ve noticed that”, you teased with a chuckle, this time actually nudging him softly into his side before leaning in to rest your head onto his shoulder.  “Jude, don't sit so close to the window”, pushed your attention back to the room as you heard Siddiq’s voice and watched Judith pulling the curtain back over the window as she shifted nervously over her chair. “Hey, kiddo, you still worried about that mutt?”, Negan asked the very next moment as Judith stood up from her spot and slowly nodded while she stumbled towards you. “Daryl told me to take care of him while he helped the Kingdom move to Hilltop”, she sighed, gulping as she sat down by one of the chairs by the folding cot you were resting on, “I don’t know where he is.” “Dog’s gonna be all fine, alright?”, you said, trying to sound as convincing and soothing as you could as you leaned towards her,”Not his first winter outside and dogs know how to live in such a weather, much better than humans do. He’s all okay.” For a moment she stayed quiet, still thickly gulping as if she had to swallow her worry down, rising the tension and the worry you had as well in you too. It was true, Dog was much better at being outside than anybody in this room, still, out there was a fucking blizzard raging and you could only hope that he was all fine. “Hmm”, she finally mumbled, nodding softly as she glanced at you, rising a little of the tension off your own body before you heard Negan’s voice rising beside you. “Does anybody else smell something?” “Can you stop being such an asshole?”, Siddiq huffed as you furrowed your brows, breathing in as you could suddenly feel the slightly biting smell traveling up your nose as well.  “No, he's right. Something does smell funky in here”, you could hear Rosita say as she stroked over her belly, wrinkling her nose as she glanced around the room, trying to find its source. The whole room was growing restless, shifting and glancing nervously around, before your eyes fell on Eugene who suddenly had a horror written all over his face as if he was seeing into the eyes of death. “Get away from there”, his voice shouted as he rushed towards the fireplace, sending a jolt through your body as he pushed Siddiq and Gabriel away from the fire, away from the flames that bursted into an explosion in the very next moment.

Coldness came after the blast of heat, darkness that was only pushed through by the dim lights of the flashlights as Eugene was half stuck in the defunct fireplace, inspecting whatever the hell had just happened while your heart rate was slowly going back to normal. “As I suspected. The chimney flue is completely gunkified. What singed your nostrils earlier was no doubt a toxic mixture of creosote and H2O. Blizzard's done some tearing and blaring”, he called out as he was slowly crawling back out, standing with a huff out as he looked into questioning faces,“And our chimney's ventilation capabilities are nil to none. It'd be unwise to spark up another blaze lest we plan on ceasing all respiratory functions, a. k. a. smoking and choking.” “God, I missed you, Eugene”, you heard Negan chuckle beside you as Eugene glanced grumbling to the him and gulped thickly. “I can't say the same.” “You know, without a fire, we'll never get these people warm enough”,Siddiq mumbled as he crossed his arms, shivering and glancing pondering into the round. “Yeah, we should leave before the temperature drops any lower”, Rosita mumbled back, pulling her jacket tighter over her body as you could feel Negan pulling you closer into his own warmth. “I’d have some ideas how to keep you warm”, he lowly chuckled into your ear, teasingly squeezing your waist through the thick fabric that was covering your body as you let out a small, laughing snort. “Yeah, I can imagine that”, you chuckled back, glancing up into his eyes as he gave you a toothy grin before Gabriel’s voice tore you from Negan’s glance. “Okay, folks, contingency plan. We're going to Aaron's house. It'll be tight quarters, but we'll make it work.”

For the first time in a while the people in the meeting room were moving quickly to pool in the middle of the house, grabbing a piece of rope Gabriel had found in the back of the room that was supposed to keep all of you together on your way to your new Sanctuary. All except for Negan. He was still tied to the bed, dragging the long iron chain with him as he huffed thickly, “So none of you assholes are gonna get that shit off of me? Or what?” “We could tell Michonne it was an accident”, she said, a sly smirk on her lips as she glanced at him while you rolled your eyes at her. “And I could tell Michonne a whole different story, so now-”, you said annoyed, motioning towards her hand that was still holding the small silver key. Sighing she shrugged her shoulder before she threw it towards you, enough for you to barely catch it before you quickly unlocked the chains and freed Negan from the cuffs. ”Fuckin’ finally”, he grumbled, rubbing the part of his wrist the metal had dug into before he nudged you gently towards the others, “Now lets get goin’ Baby before those idiots take off without us.”

“Right behind you”, you heard Negan hum only a couple minutes later as you took your place at the rope, holding tightly onto it as his hand stroke soothingly over your side, assuring you that he was right there, ready to step out into the coldness. Sighing you shuffled over the wooden ground, pulling your jacket closer over your body, bracing yourself as the large doors that lead right into the storm suddenly swung open. The wind was immediately funneling through the room, carrying snow into the house as a shudder ran down your back, elicited by the frostiness that was filling the air while you watched the people in front of you starting to move, one after one beginning to disappear in the raging blizzard. The icy coolness was biting into your skin the moment you stepped out of the house, the wind pushing the cold into your exposed face while you tried to clamp onto your part of the rope until you could feel it digging through your gloves. You couldn’t see anything that was more than a couple meters in front of you, part of the group seemingly disappeared along with the rope into the white mess you were going through. Nuzzling your nose into the fabric of your scarf that was wrapped around your neck and the lower half of your face, you tried to let your breath warm at least this part of your face a little up, as the other froze the more snow hit your skin. Each step seemed to get harder as you shuffled through the snow covered ground and felt your breath growing heavier with every moment as you were trying to keep your eyes open, resisting the urge to close them in response to the harsh wind and the thick snowflakes it brought along with it. You tried to keep a concept of time, tried to figure out where you were in Alexandria based on figures and snow covered beets you passed even though the storm gave you an awful time doing so. Here and there you could figure some of these pinpoints out, find out that you were about somewhere halfway on the path to Aaron’s house. All that while the freezing coldness was slowly finding its way through the layers of your thick clothes, crawling beneath your skin to push the warmth out of your body. Shivering you glanced forward, just before you flinched as you heard the loud barking of a dog that echoed through the storm, just before a young voice tore through it as well. “Dog? Wait, Dog!”, Judith’s voice called out, only seconds before you could see her small figure letting go off the rope a few meters in front of you, running of into the storm as a rush of adrenaline and worry tore through your veins. “Judith”, you called out, almost simultaneously with Negan’s deep and booming voice behind you, the same panic swinging through it as it did through yours as Judith disappeared in the white mess. You could only feel the worst scenarios running through your head, a ten year old in a snow storm, following Dog’s barks until she would get lost. You were almost in trance as you saw Negan letting go of the rope behind you and felt your legs beginning to run as well, following him into the storm before you caught him stopping as soon as he noticed that you were by his side. “Stay behind, I don’t want you to get hu-” “I won’t let you go alone”, you called back, even though you were standing right beside him, trying to be loud enough for him to understand you in the storm ,”We’ll find her together. He was looking at you through his squinted eyes, more and more thick snowflakes got stuck in his short black hair and the salt and pepper beard stubble, turning both of it almost white before he finally nodded and grabbed your hand. Making sure you stayed by his side, taking care of that you wouldn’t lose each other as well his fingers intertwined with yours as the both of you already began to march as fast as you could through the snow, only hearing Rosita call for the other’s out to stay in line and Siddiq yelling Judith’s name. No one else followed you into the blizzard as you fought your way though it, calling for Judith while the iciness of the wind bit into your skin and pushed more warmth out of your limbs, slowly turning your feet into blocks of ice. “Judith”, your by now strained voice called out once again along with Negan, your eyes scanning the surrounding in hope to see at least an outline of Judith but instead there was nothing but whiteness and debris flying through the freezing air, carried by the harsh wind. You could hear the panic growing in his voice, his hand’s grasp tightening and pulling you closer just a second before a blood freezing scream of his boomed through the air and the corners of your eyes caught him sinking to the ground. Calling his name in horror-striken fear you sunk to your knees next to him, your eyes catching a large spot on his upper leg that was soaking his pants in dark red blood. “Fuckin’ rubble”, he called groaning out, holding his leg as he squirmed on the snowy ground and rose the panic within you. “Fuck, fuck”, you mumbled, reaching out for him as you could only imaging what the hell was laying beneath the cut pants. “It’s okay....Baby, I’m okay”, he panted, obviously lying for your sake as he squirmed  right before he glanced up and looked straight into your eyes,”We have to keep searching.” Slowly, you nodded, knowing that he was right no matter how much worry was striking through you, especially as he began to heft himself with your help up, clenching his jaw to not groan in pain and worry you even more. “I got you”, you said, wrapping your arm around his back as much as you could, trying to support his tall and broad figure a little as he limped next to you through the storm. “Judith”, Negan’s voice boomed, breaking a little at the end by the pain that stick through him and made him flinch against you even though he kept fighting to walk through the storm. You called her name once more as well, right in the moment as you heard Dog’s bark closely to you, only meters from you somewhere in the white mess. Turning the both of you tried find your way to the bark’s source, step by step until you could suddenly see Judith’s small figure appearing next to the Dog’s in the middle of some snow covered beets, holding onto a makeshift leash. You could just hear her call a faint “I’m here” as you could see her more and more while you stumbled towards her. Relief washed over you as you realized that you had actually found her, even more as Dog walked wiggling his tail towards you both and Negan crouched down to hold him by its leash. “Hey....hey”, he mumbled as he stroke over the dog’s head, a smile growing on both of your lips as you stumbled towards Judith. “Are you okay?”, you asked, your voice strained as you leaned down to her, trying to look close enough at her through the storm to see her face clearly, before she slowly nodded as you stroke over her back to soothe her a little. “I’m okay”, she said, her cheeks already pink with beginnings of frostbite and her lips trembling from the cold while you saw Negan stumbling closer. “We’re goin’ somewhere safe, gonna throw you over my shoulder now, alright?”, Negan chuckled, trying even in this moment to light the mood a little as she nodded once more while you stepped closer, reaching for his hand as he glanced at you. “Not gonna let you do it all alone, give me Dog”, you said, trying to let your cold lips from a small grin, before you quickly took the leash out of his hand to not strain him even more than carrying a ten year old in his condition take. “Alright”, he said back, giving you a small smile and a nod before he heft Judith over his shoulder and you began your way through the storm, once more.

Every single inch of your body seemed to be covered in a sheet of freezing coldness that pressed through your snow covered clothes while the makeshift leash cut through your gloves as Dog fought his way through the blizzard just as you did. You were wandering towards a barn to make a shirt stop there, to hide from the biting wind and get as ready as you could for the longer part of the way to Aaron’s house. “And we’re here”, Negan panted as he let Judith down the moment you could hide away in the shadow of the barn, leaning her against the wall as you crouched down next to the both of them, pulling dog closer to shield him as well. The moment you could settle Dog next to you your glance fell back on Judith, on her trembling lips and the red cheeks, then on Negan who was freeing himself of his thick jacket and wrapped it in the matter of seconds around her. “Here you go”, you hear him pant, tucking her in as well as he could while you saw her still shaking body, felt the worry still keeping a strong hold on you as you took the first thing you could grab and slid your scarf off your neck. Leaning towards her and trying to still keep a strong hold on Dog you suddenly felt Negan grab you by your arm, “Baby-” “We’re in this together, aren’t we?”, you said, already knowing that he’d rather peel the rest of his clothes off only so you didn’t have to lose a single thing, but that wasn’t gonna happen on your watch. He was already hurt, he didn’t have to freeze more, especially because you could deal with one less layer as well. You could feel Dog tugging a little, growing restless as he strayed a little from the barn’s wall, pushing you to turn your back on Judith and Negan and instead take care of keeping him close. “Hey, Dog...come here”, you said, keeping your voice soft as you enticed him back to you as you heard Negan behind you trying to cheer Judith up. “You know, I know why you're doing this”, you heard him mumble, the grin clearly sounding through his voice while you watched Dog waddling closer towards you ,”You're just trying to get a little extra Negan time, aren't you?” A smile grew on your from the cold trembling lips as you heard his voice, and just as Dog settled next to you again you turned around and saw Negan nodding towards him before glancing at Judith as he wrapped the jacket a little tighter around her. “Can I tell you something, kid? That dog, he better poop little golden nuggets. You know what I'm saying?”, he chuckled, the sound warm and comforting as it let the smile on your lips a little grow and brought a bit of the warmth back into you were craving so much. Still, the worry was there and you could see it forming in Judith too as her glance finally caught the bloody and large spot on Negan’s pants. “Your leg looks like shit”, she mumbled, widening the grin on Negan’s lips as he gave her head a small bump with his own and let that warmth in you grow even wider as he chuckled softly. “Language, Miss Grimes.” Grinning from her to you he began to nod slowly as he glanced down to the wound, huffing slightly as he winced the moment he shifted over the ground. “You noticed, huh? It doesn't feel great, to tell you the truth”, he grumbled, suddenly shuffling the thinner jacket he wore over his prison suit off his body. “Wait, what are you doing?”, it blurted out of you, glancing from his shivering body into his eyes as he shrugged his shoulders and got rid off the jacket, attempting to rip part off of it. “Getting that thing wrapped up”, he said, as if it was the most normal thing in the world, as if he wasn’t exposing himself even more to the freezing cold of the blizzard. “You already got one thick less layer, this one goes on me”, you mumbled, already about to find what you could use best before you got quickly stopped. “No, nope!”, he quickly said, shaking his head as he grabbed the jacket in his hands tighter ,”You got your scarf off too...keep that on, need you to stay warm.” “Negan-” “No discussion, you won’t freeze more on my watch”, he said, with that tearing off a long piece of the red freeze jacket while you got that there was no way he was gonna let you do this for him, no matter how freezing cold he was. “It'll be all right”, he said, giving you a soothing smile before he glanced down at his wound and quickly wrapped the piece of cloth around the spot on his thigh, tied it and pulled it tight in the same moment, eliciting a loud and pain filled groan to fall from his lips that made the worry in you flare up once more. “It’s okay”, he panted, clenching his jaw before he glanced to the huddled up Judith, “Can believe me that we two are real glad we found you.” “Alright, we have to get out of this storm now”, you said, feeling how the cold was biting more into your skin, letting you only imagine how cold Negan must be, and how weakened Judith’s body had to be by now, no matter for the clothes that were trying to get her warm again. “Yeah...yeah, we gotta”, Negan said, nodding slowly before he glanced at Judith again, “Gonna get ya up now, okay kiddo?” “Yeah”, she mumbled, just before you watched Negan clenching his jaw tightly before he scooped her up and heft his body into a straight posture. “What’s with dog?”, you heard Judith’s weakened voice ask, the moment Negan was steading himself. “I got Dog, Jude, He’s here and ready to go”, you said, putting a small smile on your trembling lips, holding the leash a little up as Negan nodded up to let her see what was dangling from your hands. “See, she’s got him.” “Thank you”, she mumbled, smiling back, as much as the cold allowed it before you gave her a soft nod and gestured towards the cold mess you were about to dive in again as soon as you’d leave the barn’s wind shadow. “Okay, I’ll try to find my way to Aaron...just follow me.” “Shit..fucking storm”, you growled to yourself as you wandered through the blizzard, dog’s leash digging into your hands while you simultaneously tried to find your way to your destination and keep Negan in your eye to not lose him in this mess of a storm. The cold was creeping up your whole body once more, washing in icy waves over you as you approached one of the houses that were built along Alexandria’s main street. Trying to figure out what it was to gain some more orientation you squinted your eyes a little, scanning over the building until you got close enough to it to finally identify it. Feeling how relief began to flow over you you turned to your right, glancing to Negan in the storm who was trying his best to carry Judith with his injured leg. “Okay...this is Colin’s house”, you called out, enough for him to hear you through the harsh wind before you nodded towards the snow covered road ,”Aaron’s is just a couple down the street.” “Thank fuckin’ god”, Negan huffed out, adjusting his posture as you glanced at Judith, who was shivering even with the jacket and scarf on, on the edge to hypothermia if she hadn’t already crossed it. “Just a little more, you’ll get warm soon”, you said to her, trying to keep your strained voice soothing before you headed towards the street, steady and fulled with a final kick the last part of your way brought into you. From afar you hadn’t been able to see it, but the closer you got the better you could see the enlightened slits between the curtains that had been pulled tight over the windows to keep the wind from hushing just a little in. And then, you could finally climb up the stairs of the porch, careful, to keep dog by your side and to make sure that Negan wasn’t slipping on the frozen steps. You dragged yourself the final meters towards the door until you wrapped your hand around its handle and heard voices from inside echoing through the wood of the door. “We shouldn’t be in here. Should’ve stayed to search too”, you could hear Siddiq’s voice hear, laced with a good bunch of bad conscience before Rosita’s voice cut his off. “Are you crazy? It’s good that they went after her, they’ll find her...should they freeze their asses off. Better those two than the bunch of us.” And with that, and  another shivering breath you pushed the handle down, the winds force giving in the rest as the door hit open.

The next minutes felt like you were stuck in a trance, you could feel the warmth immediately hitting your skin, could see Rosita and Siddiq’s eyes widen before the latter one helped you in and closed the door before more freezing cold could enter the house. More of the people who were huddled up in Aaron’s house peaked through the doors, glancing at you and even more at Negan who was still holding on to Judith before Siddiq guided you into the less filled kitchen, ready to help Judith and whatever the storm had turned Negan’s leg into.

It took another half hour before you had gotten rid off the snow covered clothes that had in the houses warmth turned into soaked messes, leaving all three of you clothed in sweatpants and shirts of Aaron’s. By now, you had managed to get the snow clumps out of Dog’s fur so he could huddle up on the carpet, and had gotten Judith right in front of the fireplace and wrapped her up in a all the blankets you could somehow get hold of while Gabriel made tea to get the rest of you warmed up from the inside as well. Sipping on the hot and fruity tea you glanced at Negan across the room who was sitting on one of the kitchen chairs, the injured leg propped up on another while Siddiq tried to take care of the wound as well as he could with the resources he had at hand in Aaron’s home, that was nothing more than a usual first aid kit. Even though you had frozen the least of the three of you, you could still feel yourself slightly shivering, as you stumbled towards Negan, watching as he clenched his jaw in response to Siddiq’s inspecting touches around the gaping wound that made a thick shiver run down your back as soon as you glanced at it. “Gonna be fine, just gonna wrap this up and then we’ll take more care of it as soon as we can get to the infirmary...still, you definitely have to rest this, will take a bit till you can fully move it again”, Siddiq mumbled as he began to wrap a bandage around Negan’s leg, letting his leg shake a little whenever Siddiq tightened the plaster a little more. Reaching out you placed your hand on Negan’s shoulder, stroking over the soft fabric of his shirt as Siddiq finished his bandage up and stood up, collecting the rest of the utensils before glancing up at you. “Alright...then we’re done for now. If something’s off just tell me”, he said, glancing from you to Negan before grabbing his provisory utensils to eventually move them back to the counter’s drawer he had retrieved them from. “You’ll keep me company, Sweetheart?”, Negan mumbled with a little smirk as he glanced up at you, nodding towards the chair Siddiq had sat on. “Of course”, you chuckled, rounding him to fall down by his side only to shift the chair a little closer towards him. “How you’re feeling? Except for the leg?”, you asked, feeling how Negan’s hand wandered to your thigh and let his fingertips caress over your knee. “Fine as hell, finally warmin’ up again”, he said, running his palm over his stubble and his cheeks that were still a little reddened from something that could have turned into some hurtful frostbite if you had taken even longer to find Aaron’s house,“And you? That’s much more important than how big ol’ Negan’s feelin’” “Nah, it’s not”, you said with a soft chuckle as you felt his hand enclosing yours, keeping it in its warmth, “But I’m okay, just glad we’re inside.” “Yeah, I sure am too”, he said before he motioned towards the living room,”Judith’s okay, too?” “Yeah, she’s sitting in front of the fireplace with Dog, all wrapped up in blankets and sipping her tea”, you said, softly smiling at him as you shuffled your chair a little closer to his side. “Good”, he nodded with a smile, keeping your hand in his as he caressed it before he glanced around and let you catch a grin that mixed into the smile and was growing a little bigger on his lips. “Feels like a damn party again”, he laughed quietly, looking at the talking people that were walking through the kitchen or were huddled up in the full living room. Except for a couple glances, they weren’t even paying too much attention to him anymore, to the lack of hand cuffs or the simple fact that the prisoner was sitting between them. And it sure didn't only make Negan happy.  Of course, the whole situation of the blizzard put other concerns into their heads, still, you were sure that just a year ago a free Negan in the same house would have elicited a whole bunch of other reactions. “Yeah, it sure does”, you chuckled before you caught him glancing towards his tea that was placed next to him on the big wooden table. “Just needed to switch that damn tea for some whiskey”, he mumbled with a chuckle as he shook his head slightly, “Pretty sure Gabey and his petty ass gave me that bitter ass herb tea on purpose, except you and Judith got the same shit?” “No, we had a fruity one. Guess that father-not-the-father thing pissed him more off than he showed”, you chuckled as he throaty laugh left Negan’s lips. “Well shit, then it was at least worth it”, he said before his eyes suddenly widened and a bigger grin grew over his face, “Y’know what’s great about my shitty ass leg? We two get a suite in the infirmary for a while!” And on the very next day, exactly this “suite” was the place where you found yourself and Negan again. The storm had stopped by dawn, leaving all of Alexandria looking rather like it was straight out of a fairytale instead of a community that had gone through a blizzard and giving mostly everybody the chance to move back into their own houses. ”Tell me when it’s too tight”, you mumbled as you wrapped a fresh bandage around Negan’s leg, finally with sufficient utensils and salves. ”Damn Sweetheart, it can never be too tight for me”, Negan thickly chuckled as you shook your head with a small laugh. ”Yeah, I should have seen that remark coming”, you said, grinning slightly at him as he shifted into the soft pillows of his patient’s bed. It was the very same one he had laid weeks in after Rick had slid his throat, the same room, the same outfit with his white shirt and the gray sweatpants. You couldn’t lie, it did made something stir within you even though the situation was now way better than it had been back then. ”But the bandage’s all fine, know you take some great damn care of me, like always”, he chuckled, even though some warmth was clearly streaming through his voice as a smile mixed into the smirk on his lips right as you were finishing him up. ”Well good that works the other way around too”, you chuckled, tugging on the part of his sweatpants that was pushed above the wound to slide it back over his leg, “But we’re done now with this...think Siddiq made some hot chocolate, I can get us some.” ”Oh fuck yes, y’know what lemonade is in some hot ass summer is hot chocolate in that dick shrinking cold winter we got now”, he laughed, his eyes widening almost in childlike excitement as you chuckling nodded.  ”It sure is, I-”, you said, stopping as you heard footsteps coming towards you through the hallway and heard the creaking of the wooden floorboards beneath them.  Turning around you almost didn’t trust your eyes as you saw Michonne standing in the door frame, glancing at you as she shifted from foot to foot. “Well, look who's here”, you heard Negan say, the grin audible through his voice as Michonne slowly nodded as she stepped inside the room. “Thank you. You both...For saving her”, she said, and for a moment you had to realize that this was really happening. Thanking you was nothing big, but thanking Negan seemed like miracle coming true and you could see the curiosity and wonder sparking in his eyes as well. “You always did have a flair for the dramatic”, she said, a little more casual than before as she nodded towards him and elicited a small chuckle to rumble through his chest. “Well, last time we were here together, Rick had just slit my throat open...so this, hell, this ain't nothin'”, he said, shifting a little up into his pillows as he mentioned towards his wound. You could still see Michonne’s reluctancy, as if she was torn between staying and talking some more, and walking right back out of the house. ”Okay, I’m gonna get us the drinks and put that stuff here back”, you said after a couple moments of silence, assuming it would be easier if she was alone with Negan. Hell, maybe she was even thinking about some new reforms for his sentence, and if this was the case, getting to talk to him alone and getting a picture of what he exactly had to say, of how genuine his rescue of Judith had been would maybe change things a little up. So you stood up from your chair and grabbed your utensils before you gave Negan a small smile ,”See ya later.”

The main room of the infirmary was filled with a couple of adults and a bunch of children who were sipping with relish on their hot chocolates, holding the cups tightly in their hands to warm their cold palms. “Snowball fights are the best...we have to go back out for another round later”, you saw Gracie say to RJ, Judith and a bunch of other kids as you walked past their table towards the large pot on the stove. Hearing them giggle in the background about the mass of chocolate they already had you shook your head with a grin as you reached for two of the empty cups on the counter before you poured them full with the delicious smelling drink that was already beginning to let your mouth water in anticipation. “Hey”, you suddenly heard a familiar voice rasp beside you, letting you flinch slightly as your glance shot up and caught Daryl’s face “Jus’ me”, he said, gulping thickly as he glanced at you and brought an odd shudder to run down your back “Sorry, just caught me by surprise”, you said, putting a small smile on your face as you looked at your half brother who shifted uneasily from foot to foot. “Heard you took care of Dog too...”, he mumbled before he gulped slightly ,”Thanks for that.” “No problem”, you said, still smiling softly at him before you nodded to the large pot on the stove ,”We still got a lot of hot chocolate, you want some?” With his rugged clothes and his often grumpy look, Daryl sure didn’t seem to others like the guy who went for hot chocolate but you knew how much he actually liked it and you could tell by the flicker in his eyes that he still did even though he stayed reluctantly quiet for another moment. “If the kids drink more they’ll throw up, I swear”, you said with a soft chuckle, trying to shake some more of the tension off of you ,”And I bet you can use some to warm a little up too.” “Hmm ‘lright”, he said, actually quicker than you thought as you could notice the corners of his lips quirk up for a small moment. Pouring some of the rich dark liquid into one of the left empty cups you could feel Daryl eyeing and could see from the corner of your eyes how he shifted almost nervously from foot to foot before he spoke up again.  “(Y/N)”, he mumbled, the pressure in his voice audible as you looked up at him and caught his glance shifting over your face. “Yeah?”, you asked, sliding the cup over the counter towards him before you watched him gulping thickly. “What I said back then...”, he mumbled, his eyes shifting to the ground before they landed back to you,”Sorry for that...wasn’ your fault...your family... and you’re not weak either.” You couldn’t believe your ears for a moment, almost felt like you were having a deja-vu from the moment Michonne had stepped into Negan’s patients room.  You had been sure he remembered your fight at the hilltop after the war all these years, but you sure hadn’t thought that he remembered what he had exactly thrown at you. So now you were staring at him, startled but with a warmth inside you that sparked and grew bigger as you slowly began to nod, still not completely able to get that he had actually apologized only seconds ago. “Uncle Daryl? C’mon we’re not done with the snow fight!”, the sound of RJ’s voice ripped through your trance, pushing you back into reality as you turned to your side and watched him storm along with Gracie towards the door, followed by Judith who glanced smiling between Daryl and you. “Yeah, comin’”, he said, grabbing his cup already turning around before you finally managed to raise your voice. “Daryl?”, you asked, letting him glance back at you, “Thank you...means a lot, even after all this time.” He nodded slowly, allowing the corners of his lips to tug a little up, almost enough to form a tiny smile before he turned around and followed the group outside, leaving you with a warm and fuzzy feeling within you that got only multiplied as you made your way back to Negan  and saw the calm and relaxed expression on Michonne’s face as she left his patient’s room.

“Sweetheart, I think I am actually a damn human to her now”, you heard Negan chuckle the moment you placed the cups onto the nightstand right, a smile plastered over his lips as he pulled you back on the chair by his side ,”Feels like we’re movin’ in a better direction, finally.” ”I think the same counts for Daryl and me”, you said, feeling how the smile on your lips grew as well as Negan perked his brows curiously up, “He was here, thanked me for taking care of Dog, and uhm...he actually apologized for the stuff he said to me.” ”Holy shit, now looks like we both got a lucky day, huh?”, he chuckled, grinning happily at you, “That storm sure fucked some things up but at least it leads to some good shit...I mean, you’re safe, Judith’s safe, the Dog’s up and about again and we both got some new silver ass lining.” ”Yeah”, you said, moving closer as a wider smile grew over your lips, feeling how the warmth in you was spreading out into each and every of your cells. You would gladly pass on the storm, Judith’s hypothermia and Negan’s injury but he was right, at least everything ended well and brought out even better outcomes. Maybe this storm had been a turning point, maybe everything would get even better now. “I’m so proud of you, y’know that? About all you did there during the storm”, you mumbled, caressing your fingertips over his hand as a bigger smile formed on your lips as soon as you glanced up ,”I mean, I always am, but this-” You stopped and instead gave him another loving glance as you felt his fingers intertwining with yours, reminding you of the ring that was still resting in your pants pockets as his thumb slid over the ring he had gifted you. “You know when I was searching the crayons for RJ, I found something else too”, you said, reaching with your free hand towards your pocket before you fumbled the white gold band out until you could twirl it in between your fingers. “It’s one of the ones Earl made for demonstrations”, you said, glancing with a soft smile at Negan whose eyes began to dart at the ring,”You told me you wanted one too and I guessed this one could fit, so..” “Holy shit, Sweetheart...now that tops it all”, you heard him say, sitting himself a little bit more up as you could catch the warmth growing in his glance, the soft flicker spreading through his eyes as he bit his lip, “Slide it on, Baby.” The smile on his lips grew wider into a big wholehearted smile, spreading all over his face as you slid your hand out of his, allowing it to rise a little so you could slowly push the ring over his finger, a little nervousness stuck within you until it reached its base and you knew that it fit. “Shit, now that fits like fuckin’ wax”, Negan exclaimed, raising his hand up the moment you let go of his, holding it up in front of his face as his eyes didn't leave the ring for a moment. “You got no idea how goddamn great that damn sight makes me feel. Gives my heart a rock hard boner”, he chuckled, widely smiling as he first glanced from the ring to you, lowering his hand again to let it enclose yours while you felt more warmth streaming through your body as you chuckled. “Oh, I got an idea...felt the same when you gave me yours”, you laughed softly, giving his hand a small squeeze, seeing the large smile that was still all over Negan’s face expand a bit more. “Well, guess it’s complete now”, he said, biting his lip before he let out another throaty chuckle, “Now c’mere, wanna cuddle my wife.” With a wide smile on your lips you quickly stood up and scurried over to the side of his uninjured leg, before you slipped out of your boots and fell down to his side. Humming contently you cuddled up to him, feeling how he wrapped his arms tightly around you while you nuzzled your face into the warmth of his neck’s curve. “Now I know you won’t do shit till I’m all fine again but believe me, as soon as that’s the damn case, we’ll celebrate with some real ass wedding night”, you heard Negan chuckle deeply as he pressed a kiss to your forehead. “Yeah, but didn’t we already have some? After the ring?”, you laughed as you could feel him shrugging his shoulders softly. “Don’t care, shit, we can have as many wedding nights as we damn wish”, he chuckled, nuzzling his nose into your hair as you huddled closer up to his side, shit, to your husband’s side. Only hearing that word echoing through your head gave your stomach once more butterflies that pushed the warmth to seep further into your cells and elicited another satisfied hum to fall from your lips. “So excited?”, you heard Negan tease as he squeezed your waist slightly and caressed his fingertips over your arm while the metal of his ring twinkled in the sunlight. “Yeah, that as well.” “Hmm, then about what else too? I mean, that dick is reason enough but-”, he stopped, chuckling deeply as he pressed another kiss to your forehead before you moved your head slightly out of his neck’s crook to glance at him.  “Just really love the idea that you’re my husband now”, you mumbled, watching as his glance grew softer and the smile on his lips wider, “Still can’t really believe how damn lucky I am.” “Shit Sweetheart, think you just made my heart boner cum”, he lowly chuckled even though his voice was thick with emotion as he pulled you closer into his embrace and leaned in until his lips could move longingly over yours. And while you relished in his kisses, sunken into his warmth and comfort, you could feel your anticipation for the future with him grow, for a future that seemed brighter than ever before. Part 53 / “Lines We Cross”

(The gif isn’t mine/ it was originally posted by dancing-at-the-funeralparty) tagging:

@agespenst @imaginesforthepeople @porgs-r-us @squidgy84 @toxic-ink@Nobodylastname @nice-shoes-nerd @thegirlwiththelyrics99 @tolieboy @writteninthestars288@magical-spit @straightestgay-voice @xsnak-3x @myrabbitholetoneverland  @dasani-saraai @negan-is-god@harry-titss@traumbruch @negans-network@theblankestostares @amysuemc@ashzombie13 @trashimaginezblog @jeffreydeanneganstrash @sweetwittlebosco @futureofdestiel @bananakid42 @dragongirl420 @kalliewinchester-queenofhell@futureofdestiel @timeladyrikaofgallifrey @osakamilk @kattyshea20 @dinodiegos @missmotherhen @kinkygamertrash @beahippie23 @xabeautifultragedyx @negansmagic@starwarsandstufff @bdohe21 @lovesjdm @vanilla-negan @to-pick-ourselves-up-7 @roselover159 @mamarhee @the-writingdead @traumbruch @bellawindixon @dlb1999 @thelittlewolf45 @collette04 @ask-kakashihatake @princessbelgoof@adixon13@botanicalthoughts @nijiru@cheyanhicks @jtklover123 @twentyonewalkerss@originalwinchestervamp@readytourie@ijashanaa @i-am-lady-anarchy @marauderspads@humble-thumb @hp-hogwartsexpress @mydeliciousdandelion @warriorqueen1991 @unholyjs @kentuckywalker @mydeliciousdandelion@dancing-in-embers @gackts-guwashi @ugh-abbyxx @frozenhuntress67 @hela-rious48 @thoughtfullyoptimisticgalaxy @xojeffreydeanmorgan @thelittlewolf45 @babygirlmeepi @thehybridsqueen@blueeyedsoutherngal @naniky @negans-network @the-wintergirl @fangirl-and-medstudent-help@lovesjdm @oofasaurus @putnamjessie @escaping-reality-22

(In case you want to be tagged or untagged for specific things or everything I write, just let me know!)

[i-am-here-with-fanfic]

The Illegitimate Son- Ch. 3 2/2

           Aria was in her room, laying outstretched on the bed, tears staining her cheeks. She was stressed but worked up the strength to shout from her room. “Alright, I made some sandwiches to snack on. Feel free to make some dessert, Faian. I think we could use some later…” 

           She got up, trudging to the mirror hanging on the wall and saw how messy she looked. She didn’t even get out of her work uniform and her hair certainly looked like she was in a rush. Taking a deep breath, she began to fix herself up. She started with her hair, then changed into different clothes and nodded to herself.  

           ‘Here goes nothing…’ she thought. Looking next to the mirror, she gazed at the three framed pictures on the wall. Aaron never entered her room out of respect, so he had no idea as to how it was decorated, or that she had those three pictures. 

           The first picture was of a blond boy, with ruffled hair and two long bangs that were nearly blocking his eyes. He had a missing tooth, but he showed off his smile at the Kindergarten picture day.  

           The second was from when she had taken the two camping when they were ten. Aaron had dyed his hair by then, styling it back, and was trying to hug Faian as he wore a goofy grin. Faian, sporting a similar smile, kept him at bay with his tail. 

           The third one was a picture of Aaron in his ice-skating uniform, winning first place in the local juvenile league and qualifying for state. He was definitely proud of himself, showing off his gold medal to his mom as he stood atop the pedestal. It was taken just a couple months before Aaron graduated middle school and Faian received his provisional license. 

           Aria fought the urge to sob as she tore herself from the smiles of her son. With a shaky breath and a few fans at her face, she steeled herself as she stepped out of the bedroom.  

           Walking towards the kitchen, Faian spotted her first as he sat across from Aaron, whose back was turned.  

           “Mum.” 

           “Hey, Mom.” Aaron turned with a light smile.  

           “Hey, sweethearts… how was school?”  

           “It was cool…” Aaron muttered, swirling his glass around dejectedly.  

           Faian knew he was lying, and he easily picked up on Aria’s discomfort. Without skipping a beat, he broke the tension by recounting about his day. He glazed over most of his classes but went into detail about the hero training. They performed what was called a ‘Battle Trial’, pitting pairs of students against each other in hypothetical scenarios. Unfortunately, he did not get to actively participate as the teacher had showed a recording of him performing a similar exercise with some second years when he first began the process of transferring back in September of last year, followed by him having to give a thorough analysis of each pair of students. 

           “That’s amazing! I can’t believe they’re already having you guys train.” Aria responded, relaxing a little. 

           “It is not much different than the college back in the States, but I do hope I get to do more than just act as an aide.” 

           Aaron smiled and shook his head. “Imagine if Eraserhead was there; I saw him one time and, oh my god, I couldn’t stop trembling. He looks so intimidating.” 

           Aria continued chatting with the two, easing herself as Aaron talked more about his day; however, when he checked his phone for the time, Aria spoke up, her demeanor changing. 

           “Oh, I told your Coach you wouldn’t be skating today.”  

           Aaron had a questioning look in his eyes, but it soon went away as his mother continued.  

           “Well, I need the time to tell you about who your father is…and to explain how… how it all happened.”  

           She was hesitant at first, but as she took Aaron’s hands in her own, squeezing them to reassure herself, she continued. “What I did… I am not a perfect being, but what I did was unforgiveable. Before you learn who your father is, I-I want to tell you how it happened.” 

           Aaron didn’t understand what was going on, but he gave a nervous smile and urged her to continue. Faian gave them both a reassuring smile before getting up to make some coffee, tea, and brownies. 

           I had just gotten my hero license part way through school. At the time, I was working with a friend, Jae, who wanted to create a costume of metal that worked with my Quirk. She was heavily inspired by Vikings and medieval knights, so of course it was going to be flashy. Jae knew David Shield, an intelligent scientist who specialized in creating support items and hero costumes so, we all worked together. Between them two, he was the hard-working one, and I offered to buy him lunch as a thank you for helping her. 

           When we decided on a place to go, Jae joined us as I wanted to thank her, too, for coming up with the idea; however, on our way to the restaurant we heard an explosion. Forgetting about lunch, we immediately ran over to the burning building. I couldn’t stop thinking about the people trapped inside and I ran in without thinking. 

           I was carrying two people when I heard cheering from outside. It was odd but I thought a more well-known hero had arrived, so I hurried to get those I was carrying to the paramedics before rushing back inside. Being a newer hero, some of the law enforcement tried to stop me, not knowing I was able to help, but also because the building was beginning to collapse. I couldn’t just stand aside knowing I was capable of helping. 

           After finding a few more people, I began to lead them out, using my battle-axe to shield us from falling debris and cutting through any rubble in our path. Unfortunately, a column had collapsed next to us, and the ceiling began to cave in. Without a moment to lose, I pushed the civilians through the exit. Within seconds, I was buried under tons of rubble. Although I was still conscious thanks to my Quirk, the smoke was suffocating, and the roaring fire lapped at my skin. I could barely hear the shouting outside, and I thought I heard someone mention that I was still inside. Whatever the case, I soon blacked out. 

           I woke up in a hospital bed, half expecting to be dead. I would’ve been fine if I was; I got to save a lot of people, after all. Turns out, your father was the one who saved me, and he came along with David and Jae in the ambulance. I was told they wouldn’t leave my room, except when one went to get food for the others. When I finally woke up, it was just your dad, sitting in a much too small chair to my left. 

           Aria smiled thoughtfully as she recalled the first time she met Aaron’s father. While he was still unsure of where she was going with this, it did calm Aaron to see his mom had positive memories about his dad. 

           As did the scent of his tea, Faian’s absurdly strong coffee, and whatever chocolatey goodness was baking in the oven. 

           He was staring intently at the monitor, and he didn’t notice I had woken up. Until I spoke, of course. He had such a handsome face that I was somewhat intimidated, and I ended up blurting out “Are you an angel?”

           Understandably, that had taken him by surprise. He was really awkward trying to explain himself, fortunately, Jae and David had arrived with some food and helped clear the air. Turns out, he was a transfer student with this captivating idea of becoming a symbol and pillar for the people, and David had made him a suit out of gratitude to help inspire others. 

           Soon after I recovered, Jae finished her project and told me to use the armor set as much as I wanted, and that if it ever broke, I can return it to her to get it fixed. I was glad that I had the costume because I could go out and help people in need with your father. His blinding determination and faith was contagious, I wanted nothing more than to help him in any way I could. But… All things have to come to an end, and even though he had decades ahead of him, I was still terrified of what might happen once he was gone. 

           Aria’s shoulders slumped as she hung her head, resting her cheek in the palm of her hand. Her eyes held a deep regret as she paused to take a breath. Aaron was gradually beginning to connect the dots as Faian’s eyes were wide in disbelief, his vertical pupils easily noticeable. 

           Eventually, he returned to Japan, but I couldn’t shake this uneasy feeling that something might happen. With every news report that covered his heroics, I grew more and more paranoid. 

           What if it was a trap?

           What if he didn’t make it this time? 

           What if…? 

           So many different tragedies ran through my head, and even when he came back to America years later to catch up with David, I still had those crippling thoughts. So, I came up with an idea, and made a secret promise to him that no matter what happened, he would have someone to continue his legacy. 

           Choking back sobs, Aria took a moment to compose herself, terrified of what her son may think of her. Faian gave her a light pat on the shoulder while Aaron had one hand covering his mouth, the other clutching his teacup tightly as tears welled in his eyes. Those brilliant blue eyes that were so very much like his father’s. 

           “I invited him out for drinks, and…” she wiped the tears from her eyes with the hem of her blouse, “and what we did… what I did… It was unforgivable… Fuck. Aaron, please know th-that I did what I-I thought was r-right… I gave him his heir. I had you…” 

           Aaron was silent, uncertain how to react. As his mother stood up to give him a hug, to try and reaffirm that she does actually love him, Aaron flinched. He clutched his stomach in pain, quickly excusing himself by saying ‘I don’t feel so…’ and rushing to the kitchen sink, retching uncontrollably. He held onto the sink for dear life, his knees buckling and needing Faian to support him as he continued to vomit. 

           When Aaron had finished, panting heavily, he turned to face his mom. Wiping off his saliva, he muttered “Who… who is my dad?” 

           Aria looked down at her feet, trying to find her words. Finally meeting his gaze, she answered the question he had longed to know. “Aaron… Your father… His name is Toshinori Yagi, better known as the Symbol of Peace- All Might.” 

           Faian was quick to catch Aaron, helping him to the table for a seat. Aria was kneeling by him, her arms holding him close as she cried into his shoulder. Aaron was still in shock, and Aria was in no condition to continue.  

           “I am not one for speaking when it is not desired, but I cannot, and shall not, lose another family. Mother, you clearly know you have done something awful, that alone is admirable, and you have spent so many years trying to right that wrong. It shows. I do not think Aaron would have wanted to model himself after you if you did not atone for your sin.” 

           Faian’s voice washed over Aria as she looked up at him, a soft inviting smile on his lips and his arms open. She stood, lingering by Aaron’s side before leaning into her adopted son’s embrace. His steady heartbeat calming her, he turned his attention towards Aaron. 

           “Brother. I do not pretend to know what you must be going through. My parents may have been heroes, and my great grandmother instrumental in normalizing Quirks; however, your father is a symbol. That is not to be taken lightly, but please understand that you do not need to follow in his footsteps. I think Mum has made that clear over the years.” 

           Aaron stood from his seat, steadying himself with the table before joining Faian and his mother in the embrace, tears streaming down his face as Aria burst into tears once more.  

           “No matter what stories we may weave, or the tales we may spin, there is no fathomable way to avoid the truth. We must accept it, and while it may render us apart, it is only temporary. We are indomitable, and we will continue to grow and learn and better ourselves in ways we cannot begin to imagine. I have no doubt that we will have our share of disagreements but know this- For so long as my heart beats, it beats for the two of you.”

--- 

           Aaron watched the streetlights pass by, his head leaning against the cool glass of the car door window. Once everyone had composed themselves, it was agreed that Aaron would spend the night at Faian’s, as he and Aria would need some time apart. Currently, Aria was driving to the two-story Victorian, her eyes fixated on the road ahead of her. Faian sat in the passenger seat, holding a parcel of the brownies he had baked during the reveal. 

           When they arrived, Aria was afraid to give Aaron a hug or approach him. She was terrified he saw her as a villain, and when he refused to meet her gaze, her eyes began to sting. With a simple nod, she turned to Faian and hugged him, thanking him for his help and letting him know she’ll pick Aaron up after school. 

           Aria drove off and Faian opened the door for Aaron. As they entered, Aaron spoke for the first time since leaving his mom’s apartment. 

           “I forgot to tell her I love her…” 

           “Aaron…” 

           “Do you think she loved him? I mean, really loved him. She’s a huge fan, but I… I don’t know…” 

           Faian only gave Aaron a reassuring hug before leading him to the guest room upstairs. After suggesting he take a bath before getting some sleep, Faian kissed Aaron on his forehead, wishing him a ‘pleasant night’ and leaving him to his thoughts. 

           Alone in the room, Aaron could only do as Faian suggested, still in shock that he is the son of the single greatest hero known to humanity. It shook him to his core, but he knew he had to figure something out. 

           Does he believe Faian and return to his mother, accepting the truth and begin a new chapter in his life? 

           Or does he reject it, pretending it was all just an elaborate lie and live in denial knowing he could do more? 

           He sat on the bed, his damp hair framing his face as he stared intently at the bedroom door. With a deep, shuddering sigh, Aaron shook his head as he came to his decision. Climbing under the covers, he kept to one side of the bed, his arms outstretched towards the empty half. He wept with a racing mind and heavy heart, unaware that halfway across town, his mother was curled up on his bed, a picture of her holding a newborn baby as she lay in a hospital bed resting on a pillow beside her. 

           Meanwhile, Faian stood in the middle of a room lined with bookshelves burdened by books and mementos, a projector hanging overhead as a magic circle slowly spun beneath him, the room bathed in an ethereal glow of gold and silver. 

           No one got much sleep that night. 

---

Beta Reader, Editor, and Collaborator- @starrylegend

[triscribe]

THERE IS NOW A PART 2

Because my brain refuses to let go of this crossover idea just yet. Enjoy!

-Spiders-

The next time Miles visits, his watch is repaired, and Peter is back in Queens. They swing around together for a while (which is awesome), stop a gang fight (which is even better), and then (best of all), hang out on a rooftop eating take-out pizza. That’s also when Peter finally gets to talk about his own universe in depth, several details of which apparently keep throwing Miles for a loop.

(“Wait, hold on, are you seriously telling me your Iron Man isn’t James Rhodes?”)

It’s a fun night.

To make it even better, before Miles has to go, he and Peter pose together for a selfie taken on the latter’s phone. Said photo is then passed along to Ned, who - after suitably spazzing out - uploads it to the ‘official’ Spider-man twitter account. The caption attached reads: Turns out the multiverse is a Thing, and Other Spidey has much better fashion sense than me!

“You sure you aren’t gonna get in trouble for this?” Miles asks, pressing the right sequence of buttons on his watch to get home.

“Are you kidding? It’s not like anyone pays attention to our stuff - everybody thinks it’s just another cosplay account.”

Well... Peter turned out to be wrong about that, but it didn’t come up until the next day.

-Spiders-

“So it turns out the ‘multiverse is a thing’, huh?”

Wincing, Peter can’t do more than offer his mentor a sheepish grin. “Uhh... I can explain?”

Tony gives him a thoroughly unimpressed look. “Yeah, I think you’d better.”

-Spiders-

Miles visits twice more by himself before Gwen shows up again too. She seems, if not completely at ease, then at least better than when she’d first met Peter. He picks up on how Miles keeps shooting her worried glances, and tries to avoid talking about himself too much.

Which, is pretty easy, because once she starts sharing details he really wants to hear more about Gwen’s universe.

(“Let me get this straight-” he says. “Potts Industries is owned by Pepper, who is Iron Woman, and run by Rhodey, her CEO, and it’s Tony Stark who’s War Machine? What. The Heck.”

“You think that’s cool, I can’t wait to tell you about Jennifer Walters and Peggy Carter.”)

They briefly swing by Peter’s apartment to grab hoodies and sweatpants, in order to enter a grocery store to get a tub of Neapolitan ice cream and a package of plastic spoons. Then it’s back to the rooftops, hurrying to find a good spot to settle and eat before their frozen dessert melts.

“So dude,” Miles says at one point, leaning past Gwen to get another spoonful of chocolate and strawberry. “You have an MJ yet?”

Peter just about chokes. “Do I- gah- what?”

Gwen arches an eyebrow at the other boy. “Did you tell him he was married in other universes?”

“Yeah.”

“Just not to who.”

“Well, I wanted to find out if she was around here yet or not.”

By that point, Peter’s recovered enough to wave his hands in a hold the heck up gesture. “Whoa, wait, does that- are you saying what I think you’re saying?!”

“~MJ and Peter, sittin’ in a tree, K-I-” Whack. “Ow! Gwen!”

“That’s enough outta you, ya dork.”

Apparently, not only were most adult versions of Peter married to MJ, but in some of the universes Gwen had been to, they even had kids.

“May and Ben, of course,” she tells him when Peter starts to ask about their names. “And I’m not saying any more than that, because the details about them really vary from one place to another.”

“That’s... still. Thanks.”

“No prob. So, you wanna come visit one of us next time?”

“Can I?!”

(He can, and he does.)

-Spiders-

After about a month of back and forth visits, Peter is of a mind to think he’s learned all there is to know about his new, alternate-universe friends. Then he meets Officer Jefferson Davis by accident when hanging out with Miles (and boy, listening to his friend put on the ‘deeper so it has to be older, obviously’ voice is flat out hilarious), which leads to talking more about his deceased uncle Aaron.

And of course, that particular name drop is way too big of a coincidence, so Peter does some snooping back home.

The next time his friends drop in, summoned by an semi-emergency beep from the blue button on Peter’s fob, he all but tackles them with his news. “There is a six year old version of Miles in this universe.”

They both stare at him. Then Gwen rips off her mask, revealing the most evil grin Peter has ever seen on anyone. And she aims it right at Miles. “Dude.”

He immediately brings up a hand, index finger pointed directly at her nose. “No.”

“Dude-!”

“Absolutely not-”

“-Miles, we have to-”

“-have to my butt! We so are not-”

(Spoiler alert. They so are.)

“He’s adorable,” Gwen cries, leaning halfway over the fire escape railing to get a better look.

“I don’t care if he’s the cutest to ever cute,” Miles grumbles, “I am not comfortable with spying on my own family.” Nevertheless, he too keeps glancing in through the window, watching younger versions of his parents have dinner with itty-bitty six year old Miles, all three of them chatting and laughing together.

Peter, in the meantime, is pretty proud of himself. “Aw, c’mon, dude, there’s no harm in one peek. And hey! Just think, in another eight to ten years, there could be a second Spider-man in this universe too!” Both the others shoot him wide-eyed looks, and Peter mentally rewinds his words before paling. “That. Um. I could’ve said that better.”

“Yeah, ya could’ve,” Gwen tries to chuckle. “How about, let’s just say, a decade from now you could be mentoring a second Spider-kid. Better?”

“Much, much better.”

-Spiders-

Inevitably, Miles and Gwen have to meet Ned and MJ. And of course, it goes nothing like what Peter anticipated.

To start, the first thirty seconds are just the pair of multiverse travelers starting at Peter’s sort-of girlfriend. “Uhhh, guys?”

Gwen is the first to blink, and she immediately slants her gaze to their fellow Spider. “Um, are you sure this is Mary Jane Watson?”

Then it’s Peter and Ned’s turns to stare, whereas the third member of their trio just raises her eyebrow. “My name’s Michelle Jones.”

Miles frowns. “But, you’re still MJ?”

“I’m still MJ. Around here, I’m the only MJ.”

“...huh.”

Apparently, something Peter had not picked up on during his visits to Miles and Gwen’s respective universes, was the difference in name and appearance between his MJ and those of other Earths.

“I’ve thought about dying my hair red,” she remarks, once the others finish explaining. “But pure caucasian? Overrated.”

Gwen cracks a smile at that. Miles isn’t far behind her, and soon enough the five teens are relaxed and chatting happily.

(“Peter, we have got to get you a Spider-cave. As your Guy in the Chair, I insist.”

“Well, kinda need a backyard, first...”)

“We’re gonna do this again sometime, right.” MJ phrases her question as a statement when Gwen and Miles are getting ready to go, something which causes absolutely none of them to bat an eye.

“Of course we are,” the other girl answers, turning on her watch, before pausing. “Hey, Michelle? You play guitar by any chance?”

Both Peter and Ned’s eyebrows shoot up when their friend shrugs. “I’ve fooled around a bit on my mom’s old one, but not too seriously. Why?”

“Well, if you ever find and have a chance to befriend this world’s Gwen Stacy, you might ask if she plays the drums or not...”

“What happened to ‘every universe is different’, Gwanda?” Miles asks. Gwen then puts a hand to his face and shoves the boy through their portal. “Ack!”

“See ya later, guys.”

The trio call their own goodbyes, and when the portal fades, Peter casts a nervous glance at his friends. “So? What’d you think of them?”

“I meant what I said, Parker,” MJ replies. “We’re doing this again sometime.”

-Spiders-

Meeting his own other, older self is... odd.

“Geez, I do not remember ever being this short,” Mister Parker mutters, looking Peter up and down. “Or well-geared - seriously, is this circuitry-?”

“Um, yeah. My first suit was, well, definitely homemade, and not all that good - but then I met Mister Stark and he made this one for me-”

“Stark? As in Tony Stark?” The man looks surprised. “Is he still alive in your universe?”

And just like that, a wave of cold fear washes over Peter so fast he’s left dizzy and practically shaking. “W-what do you mean?”

“That man drank himself to death years ago; no ‘Iron Man’ where I’m from, unfortunately. Stark Industries didn’t stop making weapons until afterward, when his daughter took over with her clean energy initiatives.” Mister Parker seems to finally notice how pale Peter’s gone. “Hey, kid, do you need to sit down? You don’t look so good...”

He does, in fact, sort of just collapse right there on the rooftop, and his older counterpart winds up needing to call Miles over to take Peter home. Cutting their first meeting short is a shame, because Peter had come with a bunch of questions pre-prepared, but hearing about Tony just kinda... empties all the wind from his sails.

Back in his own universe, he shakily sends Miles away, promising to call for a ride rather than attempt to swing home. And there is something to be said for how clearly out of sorts he sounds right now, because one phone call is all it takes to summon Tony to come get him. A few minutes of waiting later, Iron Man zooms into sight and touches down.

His mentor steps out of the suit, and Peter immediately jumps up to grab him in a hug.

Thankfully, Tony realizes this isn’t the time for questions, and just holds him back for a while, until the trembling stops. “C’mon, kid, let’s get you home.”

-Fin!-

(There is also a Part 3 in the works, which will introduce more Spider fam members from various sources because I feel like it.)