#She gave them enough chances. She's done being responsible for their happiness. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

unconventional-lawnchair · 9 days ago

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Not Quite Poison

Barty Crouch Jr. X Potter!Reader

Summary: after a chance meeting in the library; a whirlwind love affair between Barty Crouch Jr and the youngest Potter blossom, but neither of them were prepared for how life would go after.

AN: MONTHS. I have finally finished this after MONTHS. Sorry if the writing style is a bit whiplash, I have changed a lot since then. I can't get away from Barty he owns my whole heart

CW: not proof read, no use of Y/N, Obsessive!Barty(implied obsessive reader), sexual themes and scenes, graveling and begging, Protective Sirius and James, fighting, lying, self indulgent, cursing, Remus x reader if you squint, angst, angst with slightly happy ending, fem reader, not cannon complacent, sexual innuendo, underage drinking, major character death (unless...?)

WC: ~17k

You never felt as bold or as powerful as you did at Hogwarts, walking the halls with your older brother and his friends.

Shamelessly you always thought they were the coolest. The Marauders, James Potter; Head Boy, Remus Lupin; Prefect, Sirius Black; one of the most clever and strongest duelists in the school, and Peter Pettigrew; the sweetest boy you'd ever meet.

They had a reputation for themselves even before you came to the school a year later. Not that it surprised you, your brother had always been a moth to the limelight. You were just happy he never aimed that at you, being fiercely protective of his little sister. They all were pretty defensive when it came to ‘little Potter.’

But, there was only so much their help could do.

“Dreadful! A Dreadful on my potions exam!” You groaned as you wiggled the parchment in front of you, as if shaking it enough would change the ink that was etched on the page.

“I have never gotten such a low score in my life!” You whined and hugged the paper. Giving a small sigh as Sirius ruffled your hair. “Calm it, Bambi. It’s just a practice test. You're becoming Moony.”

Sirius gestured behind his back to Remus, who was wearing an offended look.

“I'm sorry I couldn't help you more.” Lily called over from under your brother's arm, sending you a sympathetic look. You just mumbled.

“It’s alright, Red. If even you can’t save me, I’m well and truly done for.” You groaned and Remus nudged you with his elbow.

“I could always give you a hand.”

You shook your head and bit your cheek. “Nah, think it’s best I crack on alone. No distractions.” You waved your hands out dramatically, full of resolve. Enough to make Sirius laugh at you and Lily to roll her eyes fondly. The redhead looked up and smirked at James who seemed to be lost in his own little world, staring at her.

“Jamie, dearest?”

He blinked out of his daze and smiled at her. “What's that?”

“Were you paying any mind to your little sister?”

“She was talking?” He muttered and looked over at you, greeted by a bird that wasn't under his arm, instead poking from between your index and ring finger. “Ah, so I’ve finally learned to tune her out. Only took me seventeen years.”

“Sod off.” You stuck your tongue out at him and he blew a raspberry back, before Lily gave him a reprimanding smack on his shoulder.

“You're meant to be head boy.” She huffed and you just smirked.

“How they let him get that badge, I’ll never know!” You shouted up to your brother who made a mocking face at you with his eyes crossed. Remus snickering from your other side.

“Oi, James, keep it to yourself,” Peter mumbled, shuffling out of spitting range.

“It's like watching two first years go at it.” Sirius mumbled and Remus shrugged. “I don't think they ever left that age.”

You rolled your eyes fondly at the jabs as Lily grabbed your brother's face and squished his cheeks, leaving him a smiling fool.

“Okay, I'm heading to the library.” You offered and got a variety of responses as you left. “Got to make sense of this disaster of a grade.”

Their echoes of conversation faded out as your shoes hit the path to the library. Once there, you were shocked to see how many people were studying in the now cramped hall. It was fair to say that everyone here had a poor score on their test.

What was worse is you didn't recognize a single person. Not well enough to sit with.

You walked down the long path between the aisle and tried to spot an open seat somewhere. That was, until you spotted an empty table. An entirely empty table with a few spare books shoved across the old oak. You lit up and hurried over to take the seat closest to the wall. Setting up your things to begin to study, not noticing how people had been avoiding that table like the plague.

As you set up your books and notes you were oblivious to any presence around you, until the seat right next to you was pulled out. “You know��”

You looked up quickly and you were greeted by a pair of piercing green eyes that made your heart stop. What was it with Potters and green eyes? You'd never know.

“If you wanted my seat that bad, you could have just asked.” You were suddenly snapped to your senses when you recognized the voice.

Bartemius Crouch Junior. Fuck.

You didn't talk to many RavenClaws, you hardly talked to any male classmates considering how often your brother would scare them off. Sirius wasn't much help either.

However, Crouch had a special reputation. Hanging around dangerous Slytherins, loud, dangerous, obsessive and as smart as a damned whip. You only knew what Sirius told you about him, which was nothing good, considering how both of them absolutely despised each other. James didn't like him either, but Lily spoke highly of him.

Lily spoke highly of almost anyone, though.

You only realized you had been staring at him when he arched his eyebrow.

“Cat got your tongue, Potter?” He teased as he took his seat and you snapped out of your thoughts. Still just blinking owlishly at him. This made him chuckle softly, leaving him to simply shrug and get back to work.

With how he behaved around most of the students you expected him to chase you off or bare his fangs- maybe bite you. Who knows? People described him more like a rabid animal than a proper student. Yet you had sat in his seat, at his table, pushed aside and even stolen one of his books, and he was as calm as a cat.

“Er- sorry, I didn't mean to intrude.” You whispered and he glanced over at you. Meeting your eyes with a slowly growing smile.

“So she does talk?” He teased and you pursed your lips.

“When she wants to.”

“That's not very Potter of you.”

“It's very me of me.”

His smile only grew as your banter continued. His shoulders seemed to relax and he became a bit more playful. You felt like you might be insane, were there two Crouchs? There is no way this is the same boy who almost beat Sirius to a pulp over a remark about his own brother.

“So… do you mind if I study here?” You asked softly and he shrugged, going back to his paper.

“I don't mind a pretty face.”

This time it was your turn to smile, rolling your eyes a bit fondly. You got back to your notes, writing down each problem you had gotten wrong and looking for the proper potion recipe, starting with Wiggenweld. You began to mutter to yourself as you looked across three different books. Rubbing your temple in irritation as you tried to understand the ingredients and grew more and more infuriated.

“You're doing it wrong.” You heard Barty mumble from beside you. You snapped your head over to glare at him and it only served to make him chuckle.

“I don't think I've ever seen a Dreadful in my life.”

You flushed a bit and moved your wrist to hide your marks. “What happened to you being nice to me?”

“Sorry, sorry.” He chuckled and shifted his seat a bit closer to you, looking at the books. “What's got you confused?”

“I just..” You sighed and gestured to the books. “Every one of these say something different! Salamander blood until it turns yellow, then orange, then green. But this one says Unicorn horn and Lionfish spines. And then this one says Sloth-”

“Woah woah woah, pretty girl, breath.” He pushed and you took a sharp breath. No one but Sirius had ever called you that, and certainly not in that tone. He lifted his arm and you got a good view of his bare forearm from where his sleeve was rolled up, showing off a tattoo, a snake wrapped around a magpie, you think. He smiled at how you took it in. “Did it myself.”

Your eyes widened and looked at him in shock. He seemed giddy with excitement at your interests. “That and this,” He mused and stuck out his tongue, using his middle fingers to press it flat against his lip. Showing off his tongue piercing and his black nails. Your eyebrows shot up to your hair line.

Him and Sirius were scarily alike. It was almost comforting.

“Woah…” You mumbled and he laughed. Smiling ear to ear.

“Look here, kid.”

“I'm your age-”

“Shhh, I'm spitting wisdom.”

You couldn't help but laugh and relax fully as his fingers lined the pages of one of your books. “The reason they are so different is the one thing Professor Slug on my Horn doesn't tell you,” You laughed a bit in surprise at the vulgar nickname, “Is the potions you study under him have several different ways to make it. Salamander blood being the one taught in class.”

You looked back at the books and tilted your head a bit. “Why wouldn't they tell you that?”

“Your guess is as good as mine. I don't even use those recipes, I made my own.”

You looked over at him in shock and he just smiled at you.

You knew Crouch was a genius, he made sure everyone knew. But to have your own concoction for the potion you couldn't figure out how to brew according to instructions? You were baffled.

“Really?”

He nodded and you furrowed your brow. “Why Wiggenweld?”

His lip twitched and you could see as the smile left his eyes but not his lips, slowly biting his cheek. “I'm prone to.. accidents.”

“Your fights.” You whispered and he shrugged.

“Those too.”

“Typical Crouch behavior.” You murmured, a hint of amusement creeping into your voice. Talking to him was feeling more natural by the second. “Always getting into trouble.”

He grinned at that, leaning back in his chair with a casual confidence that was slightly charming. He had a way about it, how his sleeves were rolled up and his tie was loose. Robe discarded and undeniably handsome- “What can I say? It’s a talent of mine.”

You couldn’t help but chuckle, feeling more at ease as you continued to chat. The tension from earlier with your potions exam began to fade, replaced by a curiosity of learning who this Barty boy really was. It was a strange feeling, considering the reputation he had, but he seemed different here, away from the majority of the school, he was so gentle and sweet.

“So, what’s your recipe for Wiggenweld?” You asked, hopeful for a bit of help. You leaned in closer, the books between you momentarily forgotten.

“Alright, but you have to promise me something,” He whispered and leaned all that more closer, a mischievous glint in his eye. “You can’t tell anyone I’m teaching you this. It’s our secret.”

“Deal!” You nodded, your excitement bubbling over. You didn’t care about the implications of keeping secrets; you were just grateful for the distraction and the chance to understand potions from a different perspective. Definitely not to keep talking to him, not at all, he was just so damned sweet.

“Well, I use this version of it.” He gestured to your test, “But no Salamander blood. Just Horklump and Dittany.”

“What?” You whispered in shock and he sent you a playful wink.

“Trust me, yeah?” He gestured to the pages. “You just need to stew them for no longer than ten minutes. Stir it the first two- Potter?”

“Yeah?”

“You should be writing this down.” He teased and you quickly scrambled for your quill, cheeks flushed as he found you just staring.

You quickly scribbled down the details, heart racing as you focused on Barty’s instructions. The way he leaned in, so close that you could catch a whiff of his cologne, made it hard to concentrate. You tried to tune out the little voice in your head that reminded you of his reputation; all you wanted was to absorb the knowledge he was sharing. Nothing more.

“Okay, so after you’ve stewed the Horklump and Dittany, you need to add a pinch of powdered mint. It has to be powdered, if you add any fresh mint the juice will wind both of us in detention.” He continued, his voice low and steady, as if he were sharing a well-guarded secret. “But don't tell anyone that. It's just to get the color Slug likes so much.”

You couldn't help but smile at his goofy antics. “We?”

“Hm?”

“We'd end up in detention?”

He gave a chuckle. “Can't let you get in trouble for my secrets, can I? How could I live with myself?”

“What a gentleman.” You cooed and he gave a playfully solemn nod.

“Truly, I am.”

“I would totally let you take the fall for my antics.” You countered and he put a hand over his chest with a gasp. You giggled and he couldn't help but smile at your look.

“You're much prettier than your brother.” He hummed and you paused, turning to furrow your eyebrows at him with a bright smile. Clearly, he had no shame in what he said.

“Watch what you say, my brother may disagree with that.”

Barty smirked, clearly unfazed by the warning. He seemed so.. shameless. “Let him. I’ve dealt with worse than a jealous Potter before.” He leaned in a little closer, his tone playful, yet there was an undertone of seriousness in his eyes. “Besides, I would hate to disappoint him. But my type is more.. about your height, your hair color, your eyes. Have to say, the only thing wrong with you… your name.”

You felt your cheeks flush with warmth at his compliment, the boldness of his words making your heart race. Who was this guy? “Oh really? What’s wrong with my name?” You asked, trying to keep your tone teasing, but the stutter in your tone betrayed you.

“Potter is a lovely name.” He hummed, leaning back in his chair with a smug grin. “But if you are looking to try out something different, I have some ideas.“

“Is this you flirting, Crouch?”

“Call me Barty. And if you have to question it I might just have to up my game.” He lit up like a child and your heart clenched hopelessly. He didn't even attempt to play coy with his new found attraction, you wondered hopelessly how many people had told this boy no. Certainly not enough.

Thank Merlin for that.

You couldn't help but laugh, trying to mask the fluttering in your chest. “Well, Barty, I don’t know if you’re just charming or if this is some elaborate scheme to distract me from my disastrous Potions exam.”

He leaned in closer, resting his chin in his hand, eyes focused solely on you. “Maybe it’s a bit of both.”

You rolled your eyes, fighting to suppress a smile. “You’re insufferable.”

“And you’re delightful,” He shot back without missing a beat. The intensity in his gaze made you feel a little dizzy, like you were the center of an exhilarating storm. Like you were worth all his attention.

You had only been speaking for an hour and it seems he made up his mind about you so quickly.

“Okay, Mr. Charming.” You said with a smirk, trying to regain some semblance of composure. “Let’s focus on Potions before you completely derail my study session.”

“Fine, fine.” He chuckled, leaning back into his chair but not breaking eye contact. “What's your next question?”

You spent the rest of the day with Barty, drilling on about the exam and your potion questions, falling into an easy and familiar rhythm. Eventually, even when your questions were answered and the library was empty, you two stayed. Even as it grew dark outside and the only lights came from the candles on the table. You two keep droning into easy conversation.

“You know.” Barty hummed. “This isn't the first time we've met.”

“Really?” You asked, your head in your arms as you leaned on the table over your books. He nodded. “Mhm. We met before, when we were younger. Before Hogwarts.”

“Before Hogwarts?” You echoed, trying to piece together the fragments of your memory. “I don’t remember meeting you before then. Are you sure?”

Barty chuckled, leaning back in his chair as he crossed his arms. “Oh, I’m sure. It was at Diagon Alley.”

Your eyebrows knitted together in concentration as you tried to recall any memory of him. “Diagon Alley? I don’t remember that at all.”

“Yeah, it was ages ago. You were with your family, and I was there with my mum.” He explained, with such a sweet smile that reached his eyes. “You had just gotten your first wand. You were so excited, waving it around like you were already a pro. I was upset because my magic hadn't come in yet but you and your brothers came around the same time.”

You felt a spark of recognition at his words, completely baffled he would remember something so utterly small and insignificant to him. “I do remember being really excited! I think I accidentally turned my brother’s hair blue for a week after that.”

Barty burst out laughing, the sound bright and infectious. “See? You were a little troublemaker even back then.”

“Hey, it was an accident!” You protested, laughing along with him. “I was just a kid.”

“Still, it’s good to know you’ve always had a flair for the dramatic.” He muttered and bit his cheek. Suddenly so.. thoughtful and distant.

“... how did you remember that? I hardly remember it and it was the day I got my wand.” You have a small nervous laugh.

“You really don't remember?” He laughed and you just furrowed your brow in confusion.

“Woah, I'm that forgettable?” He teased and laughed as your eyes widened in horror. “I'm only teasing.”

He rolled his jaw a bit and laid his head on the table to look you in the eyes. “I was throwing a fit, you know. I wanted a wand so badly. You walked past me on the street and you pointed your wand at me. You shouted; ‘tears be gone and magic be strong!’ And just toddled away after your mother.”

Your jaw dropped a bit before you slowly covered your face in embarrassment. Giving a low groan as you began to laugh. “I don't remember that. But that's what my mum always told us when we got hurt. Said our magic would heal our owies.”

He chuckled and nodded. “I stopped crying. When I got my magic the next year I was sure it was your doing. I'm not surprised you don't remember me.”

“It's not that you're forgettable-”

“Heavens no, not that. Just… you are always doing small things like that. You don't know how much it means to people.”

You flushed a bit at his statement and looked down, unable to keep his eyes anymore. “You're exaggerating.”

“I'm not. Everyone just adores you.” He mumbled and you shook your head.

“And everyone is scared of you.” You challenged. “Not everyone knows what they are talking about.”

“They are scared of me with good reason.” He corrected and you shook your head defiantly.

“You're not scary.”

“I can be.”

“I'll believe it when I see it.”

“I guess you'll never believe it then.”

You tilted your head a bit and looked up to meet his eyes. He was smiling so softly, so sweet, eyes gentle and almost suffocating. “I would rather die than scare you.”

You stared at him, a bit stunned. Struggling to catch yourself but all you could muster was. “You could never scare me.”

“Good.” He whispered in earnest with a nod of his head. “Good.” He smiled.

Before you both could continue talking, you heard the grand doors creek open, both of you looked up like deer in headlights. You saw Remus poke his head in and he smiled at you, before giving a grimace of a look at your company.

You stood up as you saw Remus leave, giving a low sigh. “Sorry, I kept you here so late.”

“Don't worry about that.” He muttered as he began to help you pack up. “I'll put your books away for you.”

You gave him a surprised look before you furrowed your brow. “Are you not heading out as well?”

“Not now. I have a few assignments to look over.” He mumbled and your eyebrows raised in surprise.

“Wha? Oh! Oh, Barty, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to distract you.” You whispered and he shook his head, chuckling.

“It's alright, you can make it up to me.” He muttered and you nodded vigorously. “Distract me again? Tomorrow? Same seat?”

You were stunned for a moment before you slowly smiled to match his. “Time?”

“I'll be here all day.”

“Understood.” You smiled and gave him a small wave. “Goodnight, Barty.”

“Goodnight, Star.”

When you made your way out of the library and noticed James, Lily, Remus, Peter, and Sirius. You tilted your head a bit curiously when you saw James with the map.

“What's this about?” You hummed and James pointed at you like an accusatory child.

“Nuh uh! You and Crouch? Gross! No!”

You furrowed your eyebrow in confusion and looked over to Sirius who was glaring at you. Peter looked nervous to meet your eyes.

“You upset your brothers.” Remus muttered to you and you tilted your head.

“It would seem so.” You mumbled back and Lily gave a little giggle. James didn't appreciate your mellow response.

“Bambi that boy is no good for my little sister.” James huffed and you could have sworn if you rolled your eyes any harder they would fall from your head.

“Oh Merlin, here we go.” Lily mumbled.

You crossed your arms and raised an eyebrow at James, trying to keep your expression calm. “You mean the boy that helped me understand Potions better than I ever have? The same boy who’s been nothing but nice to me? You guys really need to relax.”

Sirius chimed in, his tone teasing but serious. “Nice? Junior? He's a walking red flag, love”

“And you’d know all about red flags, wouldn’t you, Sirius?” You shot back, a smirk creeping onto your face. You couldn’t help but needle him a bit, knowing full well his own history.

Lily laughed, trying to diffuse the tension. “Come on, you guys, let her have some fun! She’s old enough to make her own decisions.”

“Lily!” James huffed and gestured to you. “She's only 17.”

“18 in two months.” You put your hands on your hips as Remus smirked. “58 days.”

“Right on.” You mused and you and Remus shared a high five.

“Wha- I- no! No, I don't like it!” James whined like a child. “He's a Death Eater.”

That killed the fun chillingly fast. The hall was silent- in truth, no one knew anything about who was truly what. The only people you guys knew to be those monsters were the ones who claimed it. Like Mulciber, Avery, and even some of the other younger Slytherins.

The only evidence they would have to that would be the company Barty chose to keep.

“You watch your mouth.” You snapped quickly at James who looked a bit caught off guard that his usually sweet playful sister was so serious. Your blood was boiling with anxiety and inching for you to back down, you just wouldn't. To be in the middle of a war and to use that word so freely?

“You don't know what rumors like that can do to someone! And, I'll have you know, he is the sweetest boy I've ever talked to!” You snapped at him and his jaw dropped.

“Not you, Remus or Peter.” You reassured and they nodded in agreement.

“Not me.” Peter smiled at his friends and earned a smack from Sirius. Remus had the good sense not to say anything.

“You're such a git, James! And I won't be letting you continue to dictate my social life!” You snapped and the second Sirius opened his mouth you glared at him down. “You either greaser!”

Remus snickered and you shook your head. “I'm going to my dorm!”

Lily scurried up to follow you, giving the boys a playful ‘hmph!’ As she passed.

Remus was about to say something before Lily grabbed his arm and dragged him along. Leaving the three older Gryffindor's alone in the hall, baffled.

~~~

You stomped right up to your bed and slipped across it with a groan. Remus was next, mocking your childish stomps before he laid the proper way across your mattress, arms behind his head. You glared at him before Lily sat beside you and patted the side near her, coaxing you closer.

You sighed and sat up, wiggling closer.

“Baremius, huh?” She prodded and you nodded, leaning on your palms beside your knees. Her tone was always so soft and patient. She was always so… peaceful.

“It's not like that. But James- ugh! He just gets on my nerves.”

“Not like that?” Remus spoke up from behind you two. “He looked like he was about to kiss you.”

“I have that effect on people.” You cheeked, quickly trying to cover up your heating cheeks. “He was helping me with potions. Nothing more.”

“Well, that's good.” Lily muttered and you half glared at her.

“Good?”

“I can't believe I'm about to say this.” She muttered. “I agree with your brother on this one.”

You gawked at her before you looked at at Remus who suddenly looked nervous.

“And you?”

“In my defense, putting aside the rumors and.. his behaviors. He's a guy.” He shrugged and you gave a scandalized laugh.

“And you're not?”

“I'm a man.” He hummed and flexed playfully, showing off his arms and making you laugh, laying back and across his stomach. Lily rolled her eyes playfully and laid her head on his chest, looking at you with a soft smile.

“And in my defense, honey, I know him. He's friends with those horrid Slytherin boys and…” She looked away for a moment. “Snape. I know you can't judge someone on their friends alone but…”

“It says a lot.” You muttered and slowly hid your face in Remus’s stomach. He lifted his hand to ruffle your hair and you gave a loud and annoyed groan, looking back at Lily. “Do you really think-”

“I haven't seen any proof.” Lily quickly hushed you. “But just.. be careful, yeah? May want to keep him at arm's length.”

“...” You sighed and began to pick at the cables of Remus’s sweater, earning a smack from him. “I'll keep my distance.”

“That's our girl.” She smiled and leaned in to kiss your temple, making you laugh.

“You have to marry my brother now.” You insisted and Lily gave a snort.

“Oh, look at this.” Lily mused and reached behind her, the second you lifted your head she flung a pillow at your face, leaving you to fall against Remus’s stomach. He let out a sound that resembled a balloon deflating and it left you and Lily giggling like fools.

You stared up at the ceiling as Remus and Lily began to chat aimlessly. You began to pick at your nails and pause. You wondered if there was any truth to it, the rumors and his actions.

“I would rather die than scare you.”

His words replayed in your head over and over. What did he mean by that? Was it just you? Was his persona an act? What made you the exception?

The way his head tilted and his eyes looked into yours, it was something so genuine. Scarily affectionate. You wondered if it really was just that conversation. That day you met and that comment you made to him about magic.

Was he really not used to such simple compassions?

“Earth to bambi.” Lily called out and you looked over at her with a curious look. She smiled.

“So you won't get tangled up in him, yeah?” She prodded and you bit your cheek. You must have missed a lot.

“Yeah.. I'll be careful.” You muttered and she smiled.

“Good. I'm off to my patrols.” She hummed and sat up, grabbing her books and saying her goodbyes.

Remus looked down at you to see that distant stare again. Giving a weak chuckle and patting, giving a hum. “Wanna braid my hair?”

You sat up wordlessly and flopped on the pillow next to him. “Actually.. Can you read to me?”

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever you want, bambi.” He mused and grabbed one of the books from your coffee table. Shifting up so you could lay your head on his chest, listening as he started the same book he's already ready you a million times.

~~~

You kept your promise and you avoided Barty. Everything went back to the status quo. At least for the first few weeks.

James had let it go a week or so later and Sirius was still weary of leaving you alone for too long. Ever since he started staying at your house in year five, he had become just as hovering and doting as your brother. But with Lily and Remus as reinforcements they never pushed it too far.

Then came the full moon. Remus would never allow you too far from the Gryffindor towers the nights leading up to it. No one, really.

He would sooner see you in detention then letting you out of the dorms and especially not near the dark forest the night of the full moon. However, even if you couldn't help the night of, the very next morning no one could stop you from rushing down to the shrieking shack with breakfast and water for the boys.

It was never anything complicated, just a few biscuits and water before you all were lugged back for classes. This morning was no different. As you walked with the boys out of the shrieking shack and towards the school.

The sun was shining bright, casting warm rays across the forest floor as you made your way back toward the castle. The air was crisp, fresh from the night’s chill, and you felt a sense of accomplishment in being there for your friends.

“Thanks for this, lil Potter.” Remus mumbled, his voice still a bit hoarse but warm with affection as he took a sip of water. He was leaning heavily on his crutch that he still tried to insist he didn't need. The other boys were busy sharing their own sleepy banter, but you just smiled. “Of course, Moony. I wish you'd let me help more. I feel like I've become an animagus for nothing. I can still taste the mandrake leaf, I'll have you know.”

“I told you he wouldn't let you help like, five times!” James shouted ahead as he slipped back on his shirt. Remus strayed behind in his slowed step. Sirius shook his head.

“If we had it our way, and you weren't so spoiled, you wouldn't be one at all.” He snarked in all his grumpy morning glory and you gave a sarcastic laugh.

“What got up your ass this morning? Hopefully not Remus in his state.”

Remus began to choke on the water you had given them and Sirius gawked at you. James let out a laugh so loud it startled a few birds from the trees.

Remus rolled his neck before he nudged you a bit and gave a low groan. “It will keep you safe. Just in case… you know, anything happens.”

“Nothing will happen.” You assured and he shrugged, always ready to believe he could hurt you guys at any second.

“You never know.”

“You'd never hurt me, Remus.” You whispered and locked your arm with his. He shook his head.

“Moony would.” He challenged and you shook your head back at him.

“No, I mean, you wouldn't be able to. I am simply getting that good at self defense magic, didn't you hear our new professor? Could wipe the floor with em.” You cheeked and Remus gave you the most sour look you had ever seen, making you giggle.

“Can I?” Peter whispered from beside you and you handed him your water easily, giving a laugh when he threw it back and chucked the damn thing.

“Thirsty?”

“We shouldn't have drank.” He muttered and your jaw dropped.

“You four drank? That has to be illegal. More- more so illegal than whatever we have been doing so far.” You scolded and Remus just gave you a cheeky smile. You rolled your eyes, looking off into the forest with a playful huff. Only for you to pause when you saw some bit of blue behind you guys.

You began to slow down more, furrowing your brow at the figure you swear you saw, just following you guys. Your arm untangled from Remus’s and he paused, looking back at you. Then, you saw cigarette smoke. You trailed back a bit more before you turned sharply.

“I think I dropped something! I'll catch up!” You called back before you hurried down the trail. Looking along the tree line. Only then did you spot exactly who you thought you saw.

Barty looked at you with wide eyes, from the thicket of the trees. You two locked in a staring contest for a few moments before you heard Peter’s voice call out to you.

“You okay, Bambi?” He shouted and you quickly ran into the proper tree line. Grabbing Barty by his lapels and pushing his back against the nearest tree. He gave a small ‘oof’ as you took the cigarette from his mouth and tossed it on the ground, stomping it out.

He didn't react much besides rolling his head in annoyance and looking up at the leaves above you as you attempted to hide him. “What are you doing here?” You whisper hissed, assuming the worst.

He sucked his teeth a bit before looking down at you with a quirked eyebrow, “Can't take a morning stroll?”

“Were you following me?” You asked incredulously, stepping back from him as he fixed his uniform. “Not.. initially.”

“Yo! Bambi, you alright?” Sirius called down and you pursed your lips, giving Barry a once over. He looked.. sad. Almost bored. Nothing like the playful boy in the library.

“Uhm… yes. Yes!” You shouted back. “Wardrobe malfunction! I have a spell for it, just run ahead!”

There was a long pause before Remus shouted back. “Alright!”

As you listened to the boy’s voices finally fade out into the background you slipped your hands in your robe pockets.

“Why are you out here?” You finally asked and he looked down, rubbing the back of his neck. He walked over to a well worn log and sat down. Looking back to the path one more time you finally sat by him, hugging your cold knees.

He took off his robe and threw it over your lap. Before you could protest he took a letter from his pocket and handed it over to you. Taking out a box of smokes and starting another one.

You looked over the letter carefully, the envelope was beige but it had a blue stamp. Carefully, you unfolded it.

Bartemius,

I find it utterly disheartening that I must waste my precious time addressing your incessant foolishness yet again. Your childish antics are a stain on our family name, and quite frankly, I am beyond exhausted by your inability to grasp the gravity of the situation. Another fight within a week? Pathetic.

How dare you presume to send a personal letter to my office as if your juvenile escapades warrant my attention? If I sought updates on your disgraceful behavior, I would have asked your mother- though I suspect she has long since learned to ignore your antics. It astounds me that you continue to associate with those beneath you, dragging my name through the mud and jeopardizing the reputation I have painstakingly built in the ministry.

Your conduct is an embarrassment, not just to yourself but to me and our entire lineage. I expect to see a marked improvement in your behavior, though I have little hope that you possess the maturity to effect any real change. If you cannot rise above your base instincts, you will remain nothing but a disappointment. Do not insult me further with your incompetence.

You felt your heart clench tighter with each line you read. It was like someone had cut out the devil's tongue and used his linguistics to verbally lash the pages, and the lack of warmth in the words left you feeling hollow. It was hard to reconcile the boy you’d just been speaking with- the charming, playful Barty- with the boy described in this letter.

Let alone a boy as sweet as Barty could be subject to this. Your thumbs began to crease the page the tighter you held it.

You knew you were lucky to have a father like yours. He would never speak down to you like this, he was the one who begged you to write. About anything and everything.

“I wanted him to know I got all O’s.” He muttered, gesturing to the letter. You looked over to him in surprise as he tightened his jaw but kept his expression unreadable. “Should of known it wouldn't have impressed him.”

“Barty…” You whispered, looking up at him with concern etched across your features. You felt your eyes begin to sting and your vision blur. He was staring off into the distance, tense as he took a deep drag of the cigarette. How could someone be so cruel to him?

You schooled your expression, giving a sniff or two as you used your sleeve to dry your tears. Then, your turned to face him fully, pressing the letter firm against your lap.

“You impressed me.” You declared in a stern tone. He furrowed his brow and looked at you curiously. You kept a straight face. “It's impressive, Barty. It's impressive and.. I'm impressed.”

He gave a weak, almost scandalized laugh before he bit his cheek, trying to hide a smile. “You are?”

“Mhm.” You nodded earnestly and he gave a low chuckle as you began to sniff again to try and keep your tears back.

“So.. is that why you'd been avoiding me?” He mused and your shoulders sank a bit. You have a deep sigh and hugged your knees. Burying your face in his robe still draped over your legs.

There was a moment of pause before you finally gave in. “You're not.. you're not a bad person. I don't think you are.” You whispered. “But my brother does. And his friends.”

“So what?” He asked softly, no malice in his tone just genuine curiosity.

You hesitated, the weight of your words hanging in the air. “So... I don’t want to get caught up in whatever is brewing around you. I know there's something. They care about me, and I care about them. I can’t just ignore it. And Lily she's...”

Barty’s expression shifted slightly, his brow furrowing as he considered your words. “You think I’m dangerous?”

“I think you have a reputation.” You countered, trying to keep your tone neutral even as your voice wavered. “And it’s not just who you hang around with. It’s the way people talk about you- like you’re some kind of monster. I've.. heard things. What you've done, I mean.”

He chuckled softly, but the humor didn’t reach his eyes. “I suppose I’ve earned that.” He admitted. “But I’m not dangerous. Not to you.”

You felt a pang of something- so heavy and tight in your chest at the way he said it. There was an honesty in his voice that made you hesitate, and for a moment, you saw not just the boy with the reputation, but someone who seemed genuinely weary of the way others perceived him. No.

The way you perceived him. The hypothetical danger he posed to you. He was more concerned with how you felt about him then anyone else.

“Then why do you hang around with them?” You asked, trying to understand. “You could easily distance yourself from them, you know. They are.. they are monsters, you know what they did to Mary and Lily. They are important to me.”

Barty shrugged, a nonchalant gesture that didn’t quite match the tension in his expression. “They’re... my friends. They understand the game. It’s easier to be with those who don’t expect me to be anything other than what I am.”

“But that's not fair.” You huffed boldly. “That's not fair to me. I won't pick between anyone and my friends because my answer will be my friends.”

“Yeah..” Barty took another long drag of his cigarette. “Me too.”

The weight of his words hung in the air between you two, a heavy silence stretching out as you both considered the implications. You had to let yourself realize that with a father like his… his friends were truly all he had. You watched as he exhaled a cloud of smoke, the tendrils swirling in the sunlight filtering through the trees. His face was partially shadowed, but you could see the conflict in his eyes- caught between the reputation he had and the reputation his friends built.

“So, you’re saying that you’d rather be with them, even if it puts you in a bad light?” You asked, your brows furrowing in concern. “Is that really worth it?”

Barty leaned back against the tree, the tension in his shoulders easing slightly. “Not all of us can be Sirius Black.” He chuckled dark and your lip twitched. “Not all of us have a Potter waiting to save us and I'm not leaving Regulus alone either.”

You furrowed your brow at him and he just shrugged. “Why didn't Regulus come along?” You whispered softly and he shook his head.

“Wrong question star. It's not my job to question him. I'm the one who's there for him.”

You stared at him for a moment longer and Barty met your eyes. It was like a stalemate for a good few minutes.

At that moment, you wondered if the houses were truly picked properly. Because you had never known anyone braver and more loyal than Bartemius Crouch Junior. You gave a low sigh and then smiled at him. He slowly returned it and your smile only widened.

Giving a small giggle he tossed his finished cigarette and held his hand out to you. You took it and he pulled you up, tossing his robe over his arm.

“You should run off now, yeah? Before your brother finds me defacing his sister's reputation.”

You shook your head with a bitter laugh. Taking a moment to appreciate him up close. Eventually, you gave in, getting on your toes and giving him a small kiss on the cheek. One that seemed to stun him.

“You really are remarkable, Barty.” You whispered and he couldn't hide his goofy and bright smile from you.

“And you, Star Potter, are a beautiful experience, everytime.” He said, his voice low and earnest, a spark of genuine warmth in his gaze. You felt your heart flutter at his compliment, and for a moment, it was as if the world outside faded away, leaving just the two of you in this small pocket of time.

“Now, run along.” He whispered, his tone teasing as he stepped back, the playful glint returning to his eyes. “Don’t let them catch you talking to me, or they’ll think I’m corrupting you.”

You laughed, shaking your head as you turned to walk back toward the castle. “You wish you were that lucky!” You called over your shoulder, feeling lighter than you had in days.

He watched you go with a small sigh. Shamelessly he put the robe to his face he could smell the faintest linger of your perfume. His eyes closing tight, as the scent reminded him you were real.

“Merlin, I really do.”

~~~

Sneaking around was your brother’s bread and butter, not yours.

But you found it harder and harder to really stay away from Barty. His persistence didn't help.

Small things started happening. Like chocolates began to appear in your books, flowers showing up on your desk, and other small things that were undeniably Barty. You couldn't get away from him. Whether it was the shared glances or the way he looked at you with an intensity that made your heart race, it was undeniable how much you were starting to fall for him.

You’d see him in the halls between classes, his eyes catching yours briefly before he flashed that charming smile. Sometimes he’d join you at the library, his presence both comforting and slightly thrilling. Each time felt like a secret shared in the quiet corners of Hogwarts, a world apart from the repetitive life of your friends. Not that you didn't love them- you adored them.

But the attention was nice.

“I got an Outstanding!” Lily sang as she held up her test, smiling ear to ear. James gave a wolf whistle to make Lily laugh, earning a shove for it.

Sirius looked at his parchment and gave a low whistle before carefully setting it back down, making the group laugh.

“That bad?” You cooed and Sirius smirked at you.

“Yeah? And what did you get, bambi?”

You bit your cheek and looked down at your parchment. Slowly turning it over with one eye closed, only to give a delighted gasp. “Ha! Outstanding!”

You flashed the paper to the group and Remus gave a laugh, Sirius playfully glared at you and snatched the paper away from you. “Horseradish! You cheated.” He insisted and you laughed.

“I did not cheat!” You protested, trying to snatch your parchment back. “I just studied really hard!”

“Sure, sure,” Sirius said, grinning as he held it just out of your reach. “What’s your secret? Did you bribe Slughorn?”

“That didn't cross my mind, actually.” You cheeked, and Remus clicked his tongue with a playful shake of his head. “Disappointed.”

Sirius laughed, holding your parchment a little higher. “You could have had him eating out of your hand with some chocolate frogs, you know.”

“Next time, I’ll be sure to bring him a whole box.” You shot back with a grin, finally managing to snatch your parchment back.

“Look at my little sister!” James piped up, pinching your cheeks. “I knew you had brains in there somewhere!”

“Sod off!” You huffed and he just laughed, letting you go.

You rolled your eyes, but couldn’t help but smile at the actual cause of the O. As your brother and everyone began to get back to their idle chatter, you looked across the hall to the RavenClaw table, but you didn't see him. As your eyes drifted across the hall to the Slytherin table, you found your eyes trapped by a pair of stormy gray ones. Regulus Black simply nodded to you and looked down.

You wondered if he knew.

You pouted a bit before you looked back to the group. “I think I'll spend my free period at the library.”

“Awe, booo.” Peter called across the table.

“Come on, Bambi, don’t be a hermit!” James chimed in, trying to coax you back into the conversation. “You just got an Outstanding! Celebrate a little, you'll turn into my Evans!”

Lily gave a scoff.

“Yeah, you deserve a break.” Sirius added, leaning back in his chair with an exaggerated sigh. “How about we all go to Hogsmeade this weekend? A little fun to reward your hard work?”

You hesitated, torn between the prospect of hanging out with your friends and the nagging feeling that you wanted to see Barty again. “I would like to. But I really should review.”

“Come on, bambi!” Sirius pleaded, leaning forward with that infamous grin of his. “You can study later! Hogsmeade is a perfect way to unwind. Plus, we’re all going together. It’ll be fun!”

You bit your lip, glancing toward the Ravenclaw table again, half-hoping to see Barty’s unmistakable figure. He still wasn’t there. “I really should-”

“Should what?” James interjected, crossing his arms in an exaggerated manner. “Your grades won’t crumble if you take one break. Besides, you’ve been studying like a madwoman. You deserve a little fun. We haven't really hung out since you started this new study obsession.”

“Yeah! What’s the point of getting good marks if you can’t enjoy yourself?” Sirius chimed in.

You sighed, biting your cheek. While you loved your friends and cherished the time spent with them, the thought of Barty lingered in your mind. “I just think I can study more effectively if I focus on Potions right now.”

“Come on’, you can’t keep avoiding social interactions forever!” Sirius exclaimed dramatically. “You’ll turn into a hermit! Just imagine it: ‘Bambi, the hermit of Hogwarts’- it has a nice ring to it, actually.” He mumbled.

You giggled despite yourself, but the thought of Barty won over. “Sorry boys.”

“I think it's a good idea.” Lily hummed and you felt a bit guilty. Giving a firm nod and gathering your things and hurrying out of the hall before they could continue to protest.

The soft breeze from outside pushed back your hair a bit as you walked. The smell of the great hall flickered out and was soon replaced by the not entirely pleasant dampness of the dungeons. You weren't walking down the halls for long before you were suddenly yanked into a broom closet so fast you squealed.

Quickly a hand came over your mouth and you- like a normal person would- freaked out. Slamming your head back into the unseen attacker’s face. You heard a groan as he let go and spun around, only to stare at Barty with wide eyes. His hand covering his bruising nose and smiling at you.

“You scared the daylights out of me!” You scolded quickly, pushing away your embarrassment and annoyance with him- especially since he got such a strong reaction out of you. He just smiled and chuckled at you.

“Sorry, sorry.” He muttered. He had such a pretty smile, even when he was being an absolute moron. Oh, you owe Lily so many apologies. His hands slipped into his pockets as his shaggy hair fell a bit over his face.

“Just had to see you.” He whispered and you nodded.

“There are better what's to get a girl’s attention.” You muttered and he couldn't stop smiling at you. “Does it still hurt?”

You muttered softly and he nodded, leaning down a bit to your height. You smirked and raised your finger as if it was your wand. “‘tears be gone and magic be strong.” You whispered and he gave a low hum.

“You know…”

“Hm?”

“I'm not a kid anymore.” He chuckled and you flushed a bit, rolling your eyes.

“You could've had me fooled. What do you want me to do? Don't pull girls into a closet- no, don't pull anyone into broom closets.” You scolded and he just laughed, again, the most beautiful sound you'd heard all day.

“How about you kiss it better?” He pushed and you gave a snort.

“So you are a kid?”

“Come on.” He whined and gave you his best puppy dog eyes. “You hurt me, star.”

You held back a laugh, though the urge to playfully shove him away was strong. Instead, you gently cupped his face, watching his expression soften as you leaned in, pressing a quick, light kiss to his nose.

He closed his eyes, humming contentedly at the contact. “Again.” He murmured, barely opening his eyes.

“Needy.” You teased, but obliged, giving him another small kiss. He muttered the same request, and you rolled your eyes, leaning in to pepper his nose with a flurry of quick kisses, each one lighter and faster than the last.

But then, just as your last kiss hovered, he lifted his chin, guiding your lips to his. You gasped softly at the unexpected move, but he only pulled you closer, hands shifting from your hips to your waist, deepening the kiss. You couldn’t help but smile against his mouth, warmth flooding through you as you melted into him.

“Cheeky.” You murmured against his lips.

You felt the gentle rumble of his laughter as he held you tighter, closing every bit of space between you until it felt like you’d always belonged there, tangled in his arms, with nothing left between you but the sound of his heart beating against yours.

“Congratulations on potions.” He mumbled and he stepped a bit closer to you. Leaning down to press a soft kiss to your temple.

You giggled and slipped your hands up his arms, grabbing his biceps and your laughter getting louder as his kisses became a bit more sloppy and messy. From your temple to your cheek to your neck. Devolving you both into laughter and loving kisses.

“Barty?” You whispered and he kissed from where his lips we pressed to your ear.

“Mhm?”

“You should kiss my lips again.”

He paused and slowly his lips curled up into a smirk against your neck. “Anything you want, star.”

He slowly kissed a trail up your neck, to your chin, to you cheek. You were growing a bit impatient, but you couldn't bring yourself to be mad about it. It was slow and sweet. The opposite of him.

The anticipation built with each gentle kiss, and when Barty finally pressed his lips to yours, nothing else mattered. The kiss was everything you hoped it would be; soft, warm, and filled with all the excitement from the sneaking around you had been doing.

You both pulled back slightly, your foreheads resting against each other as you shared a quiet moment, the sound of your mingled laughter still lingering in the air. He was warm, he always was. Just quiet and content. "I've been wanting to do that for a while.” Barty admitted, his voice barely above a whisper.

You smiled, feeling a warmth spread through you at his confession. "Me too."

After a moment of pause, Bart slipped his hands out of his pockets and around your waist. You slowly opened your eyes to see he was staring at you so obviously. So much affection and.. pain in his eyes. Carefully your reached up from his shoulders to tangle in his hair.

“Baby.” You cooed, watching as the black pupils of his eyes grew twice their size.

“I love when you call me that.” He whispered and kissed you again. This time, with a bit more hunger for it.

The intensity of the kiss took you by surprise, yet it felt natural, as if this was where you were always meant to be. Barty's arms tightened around you, pulling you closer, as if trying to erase any lingering distance between you. The world outside the broom closet faded away, leaving just the two of you in this perfect, private moment. His lips moved against yours with a fervor that mirrored the emotions you'd both been holding back for so long.

When you finally broke apart, both of you slightly breathless, Barty rested his forehead against yours again. "I need to know.” He whispered. “You're my girl, yeah?”

“Yours.” You confirmed without hesitation. “Your girl.”

Barty's eyes softened, and a relieved smile spread across his face, as if the weight of uncertainty had been lifted. You hadn't realized that for these past few weeks, despite all the flirting and stray touches, the meetings and secret rendezvous you'd never confirmed what felt so obvious to you.

"Good.” He murmured, brushing his thumb gently across your cheek. "Good.”

The two of you stood there, wrapped in each other's arms, savoring the stillness and the shared understanding that had only deepened. It was rare to find moments like these at Hogwarts, where every day was bustling with activity and noise, but here, in the quiet confines of the broom closet, you had carved out your own little haven.

"We should probably get back before they start wondering where we are.” You whispered reluctantly, knowing that duty and friendships couldn't be ignored forever. If Remus or anyone went looking in the library for you it was over, Merlin if they pulled out that map they loved to use on you so much you were done for.

Barty nodded, though he made no move to let you go just yet. "I suppose. But we’ll have more time together soon, right?"

"Definitely.” You assured him, smiling as you reluctantly stepped back, already anticipating the next secret meeting, the next shared glance across the crowded halls.

As you both emerged from the broom closet, the world seemed a little brighter, the halls a little more welcoming. And as you parted ways with a lingering look, you knew this was just the beginning of something wonderful.

~~~

You never thought Barty was capable of restraint- his affections for you were never a secret. He had been bold from the start, confessing his feelings on your first meeting as if it was the most natural thing in the world. You assumed he couldn’t hold back if he tried. But the truth was, you had underestimated him completely.

You were a Potter, you were no stranger to a love that burrowed into your heart like a bug. James was a prime example, but he had nothing on your father. You knew love like you knew the sunrise, Potters were love. That still didn't prepare you for the love of Barty Crouch Junior.

The moment you became ‘Barty’s girl,’ subtle gestures turned into grand, unrelenting declarations. Flowers appeared on your bedside in ornate bouquets, chocolates transformed into extravagant assortments, and he began slipping you old notes from his classes, annotated with messages he thought you’d enjoy. Sometimes, you’d find an anonymous love letter tucked between the pages of your books, though you always recognized his handwriting. It was a whirlwind of adoration that grew so excessive even your friends couldn’t ignore it.

The rumor spread quickly: you had a secret admirer. A very devoted one.

What started as stolen glances in the hallways and whispered words in broom closets evolved into something deeper. He became a constant, pulling you into hidden spaces where he’d kiss you like you were the only real thing in his world. His kisses were desperate, his hands always seeking some part of you to hold, as if he feared you might slip through his fingers.

Your world shrank to accommodate him. It was thrilling, yes, but also overwhelming. Each secret meeting was marked by a mix of exhilaration and dread that only lended to thrive in you, every touch, every breathless encounter behind closed doors, reminded you how deeply tangled you were becoming in each other. It was intoxicating and dangerous, like standing too close to a fire.

When he looked at you, it was like he was trying to memorize your every detail, like you were his only source of light.

“You don’t know what you do to me,” He murmured one night, his voice rough as he pressed his forehead against yours. His hands cupped your face, thumbs brushing the curve of your jaw as his eyes searched yours with raw intensity. “You’re everything I’ve ever wanted. I’d burn the whole world down if it meant keeping you.”

You shivered, his words igniting a heat in your chest. “Barty…”

His lips crashed against yours, swallowing the rest of your words. The kiss was frantic, a collision of need and longing, his fingers threading through your hair as he pulled you closer, like he couldn’t get enough of you. Your knees buckled slightly, but his arm wrapped around your waist, steadying you, grounding you.

“You’re mine,” He whispered against your lips, his voice low and fervent. “Say it.”

“I’m yours.” You breathed, the words spilling out before you could stop them. And it was true- somehow, he’d claimed parts of you you didn’t even know existed. You couldn't even fathom were your breath started and his ended.

He sought you out in the quiet moments, trailing his fingertips down your arm when no one was looking, writing your name in the margins of his notes when he thought you wouldn’t see. You began to realize that to him, you weren’t just a girl he fancied; you were his anchor, his sanctuary in a world that seemed determined to tear him apart. He was becoming yours too.

Your eyes searched for him in every room. The way he flashed you that sickeningly slick smirk when he caught you staring. How he would follow you out of any room you happened to share, just to steal you away from whatever task he deemed not more important then his time with you. Shushing you in empty corridors as his hands found a spot just above your skirt. Ruffling your tie in slight frustration and marking skin no one would see but him. All while looking at you like you were his last salvation.

~~~

The fire crackled in the hearth as you sat cross-legged on your bed, your Transfiguration book open in front of you. Lily sat at your desk, rifling through her notes, while Remus lounged on your bed, one arm thrown casually over the back of a pillow. The three of you had settled in for a relaxed study session, but conversation had drifted away from studies.

"So, are we ever going to find out who it is that's got you all flustered lately?" Remus asked with a teasing grin, nudging your ankle with his foot. Lily looked up from her notes, her eyebrows raising with interest.

"Oh, Remus, give her a break," Lily sighed with a small smile, though you could see the curiosity twinkling in her green eyes. "She’ll tell us when she’s ready."

You felt warmth rise to your cheeks, and you gave Remus a playful kick back. "You’re both ridiculous," you said, trying to keep your tone light. "There’s no one."

Remus rolled his eyes, his smile widening. "Sure, and I'm the Minister of Magic."

You shook your head, flipping open your Transfiguration book to avoid his gaze. "Fascinating. The Minister and all- and you can't even tell me which wand motion is the proper technique to transfigure my desk. Study don't pry into my very uninteresting love life."

"Uninteresting, huh?" Lily asked, her voice laced with skepticism. "I don’t know, those flowers you’ve been getting seem pretty interesting to me."

You opened your mouth to retort when something caught your eye; a folded piece of parchment, carefully tucked between the pages of your book. You furrowed your brow as you pulled it out, unfolding it to see the familiar slanted handwriting of Barty.

Meet me in my dorm. I’ve got something to show you.

Your heart skipped a beat, and you quickly folded the note, trying to suppress the smile threatening to spread across your face. You slipped the parchment under your pillow, feeling both Remus’ and Lily’s eyes on you.

"What’s that?" Remus asked, his smirk only growing.

"Nothing," you said quickly, giving them both a bright smile. "Just a reminder for myself."

Lily narrowed her eyes playfully, clearly not buying it, but she didn’t push. "Alright, fine," she said, glancing at the clock on your bedside table. "But I think I should be getting back to my own dorm soon. I promised James I'd meet him."

You nodded, swinging your legs off the bed. "Yeah, I should… um, I’ll be back in a bit."

Remus gave you a knowing look but didn’t say anything as you grabbed your robe and made your way towards the door, feeling the folded note burning against your skin. You slipped out of the room, trying to keep your excitement in check as you made your way through the castle.

Not long after you left, James appeared in the doorway, his hair as untidy as ever and a bright smile lighting up his face. "There you are, Evans," he said, striding into the room without knocking. "Ready to go?"

Lily stood, gathering her notes, but before she could respond, James’ eyes flickered to your bed, where the edge of the note you’d tucked under your pillow peeked out. His eyes narrowed slightly, and with the mischievous curiosity that had always been a part of him, he reached over and pulled it out.

"What’s this, then?" James asked, more to himself than anyone else.

Lily turned, her eyes widening as she caught sight of the note. "James, put that back. It's not yours."

But James had already unfolded it, his eyes scanning the words. His playful smile faltered slightly, his brow furrowing as he read the message. “... she's meeting someone. At night.”

Remus wasn't proud of himself, but he felt his body jolt forward at the idea. His brow furrowing as he looked at the handwriting.

“Surely not.” Lily muttered skeptical, walking closer and pouting. “James, whose handwriting is that?”

“Don't know.” He mumbled before he glanced at Remus who grimaced a bit. “I know how to find out.”

~~~

The sun had long since set, plunging the room into shadow. The lone candle on the nightstand burned low, its golden light flickering uncertainly across the walls, casting fleeting glimpses of the intimacy shared within. You lay beside Barty on his narrow bed, his body curled protectively around yours. His hand cradled your cheek, thumb tracing gentle lines as if memorizing your face. His other hand gripped your waist, not possessively but securely, as though grounding himself in the reality of your presence.

His green eyes, bright and intent, held yours with a tenderness so consuming it made your chest ache. The world outside seemed to vanish in this space- no war, no sides, no betrayals. Just the boy you loved, smiling softly at you like you were the only thing keeping him alive.

"What are you smiling about?" You teased, brushing your nose against his, your fingers weaving through the hair at the nape of his neck. He sighed at the touch, his eyes fluttering closed briefly before fixing on you again, filled with the kind of raw vulnerability he showed to no one else.

This was your Barty. The boy who could switch so drastically between needing every bit of your skin against his own, and loving you like you were a fragile truth.

"Just you." He murmured, his voice thick with affection, his smile deepening. "Thinking about how breath taking you look right now.."

Your heart swelled at his words, at the way he looked at you as if you were his last breath. You pressed your lips to his, slow and soft, letting the warmth of his embrace spread through you. His arms tightened around you, his desperation seeping through the way he held you close, as though he feared you might disappear.

But even in this fragile moment, reality intruded. Your lips trailed down his jaw, leaving a line of soft kisses along his neck. As your hand slipped beneath the sleeve of his shirt, your fingers brushed against something rough, foreign. You froze, your heart stuttering as your fingertips traced the unfamiliar texture.

"Barty, what’s this?" You asked, pulling back slightly, your brow furrowing as dread began to creep into your chest. “Did you get a new tattoo?”

His entire body went rigid. His eyes snapped open, the warmth in them replaced by something colder, darker. His hand shot to your wrist, gripping it with startling intensity, though his touch remained gentle. “It’s nothing.” He said- no, demanded quickly, but his voice cracked, and his gaze flickered away. The tension in his jaw, the way he avoided your eyes. It betrayed him.

He couldn't hide from you. Not after he'd given you every way to see him.

"Barty.” You pressed, your voice trembling now. "Show me."

For a long moment, he didn’t move, his jaw clenched so tightly you could see the faint twitch of muscle. His eyes darted to yours, filled with a fear so raw it sent a chill through you. Slowly, with trembling hands, he rolled up his sleeve.

The world seemed to stop.

Etched into his pale skin, dark and stark against the flickering candlelight, was the unmistakable mark of the Death Eaters. Your breath hitched, the air in the room turning ice cold as you stared at the symbol that now defined him. The room, once warm and safe, felt suffocating, as though the walls were closing in around you.

"No.” You whispered, shaking your head, your voice breaking as tears stung your eyes. "No, Barty, tell me this isn’t real. Tell me it’s a joke. Please."

He reached for you, his expression desperate, pleading. "It’s not what you think.” He whispered, his voice cracking under the weight of his own guilt. "Please, just listen- fuck, let me explain."

"Explain?" You choked, the word a bitter laugh as you scrambled to sit up, the sheets tangling around your legs. “You’re one of them, Barty. A Death Eater. The people who are trying to kill my brother, who would destroy Lily, who hate everything I stand for. How could you? How could you do this?”

He flinched as if you’d struck him, his hands trembling as he reached for you again. “I did it for them,” he said, his voice raw with emotion. “For Regulus. For Evan. They needed me- I had to protect them.”

Your laughter came out hollow, bitter. “Protect them? What about me, Barty? What about us? Did you think of me when you let that thing be branded onto your skin? Did you think about what it would mean? About the promises we made?”

“I love you.” He pleaded, his voice breaking on the words. His eyes, wide and glistening with unshed tears, bore into yours, his desperation bleeding through every syllable. “I love you more than anything in this world. I did this for us; for you. I thought I could keep you safe.”

You shook your head, your chest tight, every word he spoke only twisting the knife in your heart. “Safe? You think this is keeping me safe? Barty, you’ve tied yourself to the very people who want to destroy me, my family, my friends. Dorcas got out. She didn’t need to join them. She did it for Marlene! You had a choice, Barty. You could have chosen me.”

“Don’t do this.” He begged, his voice trembling as he sank to his knees in front of you, his hands clutching at yours. “Please, don’t leave me. I can’t lose you. I can’t- I won’t survive it. You’re all I have.”

His raw vulnerability shattered something in you, the way he looked at you like you were the only thing anchoring him to humanity. But even that couldn’t change the mark on his arm, the choices he had made. You tore your hands from his grasp, stepping back as tears streamed down your face.

“I can’t do this.” You whispered, wrapping your arms around yourself as if to hold yourself together. “I can’t be with someone who’s made that choice. Picking that side. Not when it means standing against everything I believe in. I love you, Barty, but this…” Your voice broke. “This isn’t love. Not when it costs so much.”

His face crumpled, his body trembling as he clung to the edge of the bed like it was the only thing holding him up. “You are my side,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. “You’re everything to me. Without you, I’m nothing. Darling, please. You have to trust me.”

Your heart shattered at his words, but you couldn’t stay. You couldn’t let your love for him blind you to the truth of what he had become. Turning away, you moved toward the door, each step feeling like a physical wound.

“Please.” He whispered one last time, his voice so broken it nearly stopped you in your tracks. “Please don’t leave me. I’ll fix it. I'll fix us, darling, my love.”

You hesitated, your hand on the doorknob, tears blurring your vision. “I’m sorry, Barty,” you whispered, your voice trembling with grief. “But you’ve chosen a side. And it isn’t mine.”

With that, you stepped out of the room, the soft click of the door behind you sealing the final break between you. Each step down the hallway felt like walking through fire, the ache in your chest consuming you. You pressed a hand to your mouth to stifle a sob, the image of him- broken, desperate, lost- burned into your mind.

But you kept walking, because if you turned back, you knew you’d never leave. And that was the one thing you couldn’t allow.

Not when his love came with a price you could no longer bear to pay.

~~~

It was well past curfew when you stumbled back into the dormitory, your body heavy with exhaustion and your heart feeling as though it had been shattered into pieces too small to ever put back together. Every step echoed hollowly in the silent hallways, the sound swallowed by the crushing weight in your chest. You didn’t care about the risk of being caught; the only thing propelling you forward was the desperate need to collapse, to sink into the safety of your bed where the world couldn’t reach you.

But the sight that greeted you when you pushed open the door wasn’t the solitude you craved.

James stood with the Marauder's Map clutched tightly in his hand, his face flushed with a mix of anger and worry that twisted painfully at the sight of you. Sirius paced like a caged animal, his jaw tight, his dark eyes alight with barely restrained frustration. Remus sat perched on the edge of your bed, his brow furrowed with concern, while Lily lingered by the desk, her green eyes soft and filled with sympathy. Peter, as always, quiet. Hovering in the background.

"There you are!" James's voice rang out, sharp and filled with barely contained emotion. The sound made you flinch, drawing the attention of everyone in the room. He crossed the space between you in two quick strides, holding up the map like a damning piece of evidence. “You want to tell me what the hell you were doing in the Ravenclaw dorms? Or should I save you the trouble? I know who you were with.”

The accusation in his voice hit like a physical blow. You opened your mouth to respond, but no words came. The fight you would usually summon to deflect his concern- the sarcasm or sharp retorts; was gone. It had crumbled under the weight of the truth you could no longer avoid. Your shoulders slumped, the tears you had tried so desperately to hold back beginning to blur your vision.

“I don’t have to explain myself to you, James.” You muttered, though your voice was a faint shadow of its usual strength. It trembled, hollow and lifeless, like it no longer belonged to you.

James scoffed, his frustration boiling over. "Don’t have to explain? You’ve been sneaking around with him! Don’t you see what he is?” His voice cracked, the anger giving way to something far more fragile. "He’s one of them, isn’t he? A bloody Death Eater.”

His words were a knife twisting in your chest. You closed your eyes, letting out a shaky breath, your body trembling under the weight of his accusation. But you didn’t deny it. You couldn’t. Because James was right. He had been right all along.

"Say something!" Sirius’s voice cut through the silence, raw and desperate. He stepped closer, his fists clenched tightly at his sides, his pacing halted by his need for answers. His sharp gaze burned into you, searching for some explanation, some reassurance that you hadn’t fallen so deeply into something so dangerous. He couldn't bare to see you follow, not after losing Regulus to it. “Anything.”

Your lips parted, but the words caught in your throat. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, you whispered, “You were right.” The words came out broken, each one heavier than the last. “You were both right… about everything.”

The room fell into stunned silence, the weight of your admission pressing down on everyone. James’s expression crumbled, his anger dissolving into a mix of heartbreak and understanding. He moved toward you, his voice soft and filled with pain. “Oh, sweetheart…” He murmured, reaching for you.

That was all it took. The dam inside you broke, and a sob tore its way out of your chest. James pulled you into his arms, holding you tightly as your knees buckled beneath you. You clung to him, your sobs muffled against his robes, your whole body trembling.

“I thought he loved me.” You choked out, the words spilling from your lips in between gasps for breath. “I thought- he said he loved me. But he lied. He lied to me.”

James’s arms tightened around you, his own tears slipping silently down his face. “I know,” he whispered, his voice trembling. “I know, Bambi. I’m so sorry.”

Sirius stepped forward then, his anger replaced by an aching sadness. His hand rested on your back, tentative at first, before he let out a shaky breath. “We were only trying to protect you,” he murmured, his voice hoarse. “We didn’t want this for you. We didn’t want you to get hurt.”

Lily knelt beside you, her warm hand brushing against your arm as she looked up at you, her eyes filled with sympathy. “We’re here now,” she said gently. “You don’t have to go through this alone. We’ve got you.”

You turned to her, your tear-streaked face trembling as you met her gaze. “I don’t know what to do now,” you admitted, your voice small and broken.

Remus, silent until now, stepped closer and placed a hand on your shoulder. His touch was steady, grounding. “You take it one step at a time,” he said softly, his calm voice a lifeline. “Just breathe for me. Ten in, ten out. We’ll figure it out together.”

You nodded, trying to follow his guidance, your breaths still shaky but slowing little by little. The sobs subsided, leaving you with a hollow ache in your chest that felt impossibly heavy.

“Come on.” He whispered, his voice filled with a protective warmth. “Let’s get you into bed. You don’t have to think about anything else tonight.”

You nodded with a distant look, letting him coax you into your bed. You felt like a child.

“Jamie, let's head back to the dorms, yeah?” Lily said quietly, her eyes flicking to James, who stood near the foot of your bed, still looking worried.

“But..” James started, staring at your slightly trembling form, reluctant to leave you like this. He wanted to protect you, to make sure you were okay, but the look Remus gave him was enough to hold him back. Remus’s gaze was gentle but resolute, silently reassuring James that he would be here, that he’d stay by your side tonight.

James sighed, his reluctance clear, but he finally nodded. He glanced at Sirius, then back to Remus, letting out a slow breath. “Right. Let’s let her rest then?”

“Yeah,” Lily whispered, leaning down to press a soft kiss to the back of your head. She lingered for a moment, her hand still gently stroking your hair. “We’ll be back in the morning.”

Sirius looked like he was about to protest, his expression torn between wanting to stay and knowing he had to let you rest. But Remus quietly reached for the familiar book on your nightstand. He shuffled slightly, getting comfortable next to you. Remus turned his head to look at Sirius, offering a reassuring nod.

“I’ve got her,” he said softly, his voice calm and steady. It was enough to ease some of the tension in the room. Sirius hesitated for a moment longer, then gave a small, reluctant nod. He exchanged one last glance with James before following Lily towards the door.

James lingered just a heartbeat longer, his eyes softening as he looked at you. “Get some sleep, alright?” He whispered, his voice filled with love and concern. “We’ll be here when you wake up.”

“Goodnight, Bambi.” Peter mumbled from the same spot he stood earlier, slowly shying behind James as he left. And with that, they left the room, the door closing softly behind them. The silence settled back over the room, and Remus turned towards you, his presence a gentle reminder that you weren’t alone. He carefully opened the book, his fingers brushing over the worn pages.

His voice, quiet and soothing, filled the room as he began to read, his words wrapping around you like a comforting embrace. You turned slightly, facing Remus, his voice becoming a soft rhythm that helped to steady your breaths, one at a time. His free hand rested near yours, close enough that if you wanted, you could reach for it. He didn’t push. He simply stayed, his calm presence anchoring you. Eventually, as his gentle voice lulled you, the weight on your chest seemed to lighten just a fraction, and you let your eyes drift shut. For the first time that night, you allowed yourself to let go, to let the exhaustion take over. The sound of Remus’s voice, the warmth of his presence, made it feel just a little bit more bearable.

~~~

You woke the next morning to soft murmurs drifting through your dormitory. The sunlight filtered through the curtains, painting the walls in a gentle glow. For a moment, the warmth tricked you into thinking everything was fine. But then the memories of the night before came flooding back. Barty’s betrayal, the heartbreak, the fight- and the ache in your chest returned with full force.

You forced yourself to sit up, rubbing at your stinging eyes. Across the room, you saw Lily and Remus speaking quietly near the window. Lily noticed you first, her soft smile tinged with sadness. She crossed the room, settling beside you and placing a comforting hand on your arm.

“Morning.” She said gently, her voice careful, as though she were afraid you might shatter under the weight of it all. “How are you feeling?”

You swallowed, the lump in your throat making it hard to speak. “I don’t know,” Your voice was barely above a whisper. Your body felt heavy, like every muscle was pulling you back down into the mattress, but the weight wasn’t comforting- it was suffocating.

Remus moved closer, offering you a steaming cup of tea. “Take your time.” He mused, his gaze steady and kind. You accepted the cup with a small nod, letting the warmth seep into your hands even if it couldn’t reach your heart.

You hesitated before asking, “James?” The one person you were dreading facing.

Lily and Remus exchanged a glance. “He’s alright,” Lily said gently. “Probably caught up with Head Boy duties. He’s just worried about you.”

You nodded, guilt twisting in your chest. “I didn’t want to upset him…”

Lily squeezed your arm. “He loves you. He just needs time to process everything. He’ll come around.”

Remus gave you a soft smile. “How about some fresh air? It might help clear your head.”

Reluctantly, you agreed. Staying in bed wouldn’t make anything better, and maybe the cold air would numb more than just your fingers. You wrapped a robe around yourself and followed Remus and Lily out of the tower, their steady presence keeping you grounded as you moved through the quiet castle halls. Each step felt like a small victory against the chaos inside your heart.

Just as you began to feel the chill of the air prickling your skin, a familiar voice shouting down the hall made your blood run cold. The words were indistinct, but the rage behind them was unmistakable. Your heart leapt into your throat, and you quickened your pace, your pulse pounding.

When you turned the corner, the scene stopped you in your tracks. James had Barty pinned against the wall, his fist gripping the collar of Barty’s shirt. His face was twisted in fury, his voice shaking as he snarled at him. A small crowd of students had gathered, whispering and watching the spectacle unfold.

“You think you can just hurt her?” James spat, slamming Barty against the stone wall. “You think there wouldn’t be consequences?”

Barty didn’t fight back. He stood there, taking every shove, his face pale and hollow, but his eyes- his eyes betrayed him. They weren’t empty; they were frantic, burning with guilt, fear, and something that terrified you when they flicked to your own. He didn’t even seem to register James’s words. His entire focus was on you, standing frozen in the hallway.

Sirius leaned casually against the wall nearby, a cigarette dangling from his lips, though his sharp eyes were anything but relaxed. “Go on, Prongs,” he muttered, exhaling a plume of smoke. “Give him hell.”

Your voice cracked as you shoved through the onlookers. “James, stop!” You shouted, panic lacing your words. But James didn’t hear you, his rage blinding him as he shoved Barty again, his voice trembling with emotion.

“You don’t get to treat her like that, to use her, and walk away like nothing happened!” James’s fist cocked back, and you screamed again, louder this time. “James!”

Sirius turned, startled by the desperation in your voice. He immediately straightened, stepping toward James. “Mate,” Sirius hissed, grabbing James’s shoulder. “She’s here.”

James froze, his chest heaving as he turned to look at you. His face softened the instant he saw the tears streaking your cheeks, but the tension in his body didn’t fade entirely. He let go of Barty’s shirt with a sharp shove, his hands falling to his sides.

Barty stumbled back, his hand reaching up to rub his neck, but his eyes were locked on you. His voice was hoarse and trembling when he finally spoke. “Please…” His gaze was raw, desperate. “Please, just talk to me.”

You froze, the pain in his eyes tugging at something in your chest even as you recoiled from him. “I don’t want to-”

“She doesn’t need to,” Remus’s voice cut in, low but firm as he stepped in front of you. He placed a steady hand on your arm, keeping you rooted beside him. “That's all, Crouch.”

Barty flinched at the tone in Remus’s voice, but he didn’t look away from you. “I just need a moment,” he pleaded, his voice cracking. “Just one chance to explain- she has to know that I didn’t mean-”

“Bartemius.” Remus said sharply, though his tone never rose. His calmness was like a dam, holding back the chaos in the room. He stepped forward slightly, his hand still on your arm. “That's all.”

Barty’s shoulders sagged, his face crumpling as he looked at you one last time. “I love you.” He whispered, his voice so broken it sent a chill down your spine. “You have to know that.”

You didn’t respond. You couldn’t. Remus gently tugged you closer to him, shielding you from Barty’s gaze. “Come on,” he murmured softly. “Let’s go.”

As Lily took your other side, guiding you down the hallway, you could feel Barty’s eyes following you, like he was clinging to the sight of you as his last lifeline. Behind you, Sirius muttered something sharp under his breath before stomping out his cigarette and following James, who stood frozen, his jaw tight as he stared after you.

You felt like a pathetic child. Being ushered around and babied, but you didn't fight it. You wanted this nightmare of a year to be over.

So when Regulus and Evan finally came, and the Black brothers shared some hateful words- and Lily dragged James away from the impending fight, you stayed hidden under Remus’s arm. The yelling and the arguments just sounded like buzzing in your ears. Leaving you to stare blankly off at the mess you had created. Watching as Evan took Barty away and Regulus glanced at you with an expression that flashed between sour, sympathetic, and careful. Turning on his heel to hurry after his friends. You wanted this year to end.

~~~

The rest of your sixth year at Hogwarts passed in a haze. After the confrontation between James and Barty, you felt like you were living in fragments- moments of warmth with your friends interrupted by long, suffocating stretches of numbness. James, Sirius, Remus, Lily, and Peter had rallied around you, protective and supportive, but the pain lingered. Barty’s betrayal, his mark, the weight of his choices. It all clung to you, no matter how hard you tried to shake it.

The school year ended with bittersweet farewells. James and everyone graduated, leaving behind an emptiness that Hogwarts couldn’t fill. On the train ride home, James gave you a fierce hug, his voice low but steady. “You’re going to be okay.” He whispered, as if saying it enough times would make it true. “We’ll all be okay.” His determination was a promise: he would fight, protect, and do whatever it took to keep you and the people he loved safe. It terrified how how devoted to the war he became, he hated to leave you at Hogwarts alone.

But the summer brought its own heartbreak. James and Lily joined the Order of the Phoenix, Sirius, Peter, and Remus close behind- throwing themselves into the war. The house was too quiet without James’s booming laugh or Sirius’s teasing remarks. Letters from James came sporadically, and the tension in his words bled through the parchment.

Then, not long after James and Lily’s wedding, your world shattered. Your parents got sick and you hardly left their bed side. They died days apart and you wondered if that's what it looks like; real love. Not able to be apart for even a week before returning to one another no matter what disaster they left behind. Though, you knew it wasn't true, just your own comfort. James, crushed under the weight of his grief, threw himself further into the Order. You rarely saw him. Remus kept you company as best he could, but even he had missions that pulled him away. Sirius made sure to remind you that James just wanted to protect what little family he had left, it killed you to not be there with them. The isolation was unbearable, every goodbye feeling like it could be the last. The ache of losing your family was only worsened by the fear that the rest of the people you loved would follow.

When you returned for your seventh year, Hogwarts felt hollow, almost unfamiliar without James, Sirius, or the others. But Dorcas Meadowes was there, refusing to leave you to fend for yourself. She became your constant companion, the person you leaned on most. The two of you forged a quiet understanding- she never pushed you to talk about Barty, and you never asked about the darkness she’d left behind. Dorcas was the girl who had escaped the worst parts of her legacy, a beacon of strength and resilience that kept you grounded.

Still, no matter how far you tried to distance yourself from Barty, he remained a presence in your life. Letters appeared on your bed, scribbled with frantic apologies. Flowers were left outside your dormitory door, wilting reminders of his desperation. He cornered you in empty corridors, his green eyes burning with longing as he begged you to listen.

“I love you,” He whispered one evening, his voice breaking as he blocked your path outside the library. “I’ve always loved you- since we were kids. You have to know that. What I did- it wasn’t about hurting you. I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought…” He trailed off, his hands trembling at his sides. “I need you, star. I can’t do this without you.”

You clenched your fists, your chest tightening at the raw emotion in his voice. His words always left a mark, reopening wounds you were desperately trying to heal. “Barty.” You whispered quietly, your voice shaking. “You need to let me go. This… this isn’t love. Not when it hurts this much.”

He flinched as though you’d slapped him, his eyes filling with tears. “It is love,” He insisted, stepping closer. His voice dropped to a whisper. “I’ve never felt this before- it's terrifying. I haven't been in this much pain before. I’d give you anything- everything- if you just came back to me. Star I can't do this.”

You shook your head, your breath hitching. “That’s not what I want. I don't like feeling like this either, Barty. I wanted you, Barty. But you made your choice. Your cause- what they have done to my family alone-”

Despite your protests, the line between you blurred one night near the end of the school year. He found you in the Astronomy Tower, the only place you could escape responsibility. The sight of him made your heart ache. He looked so much like the boy you had fallen for; tousled hair, eyes filled with a longing so fierce it made your knees weak. And for a moment, you forgot yourself.

“I hate what I’ve done to you,” He confessed, stepping closer until there was barely any space between you. “I hate that I’ve hurt you. But I can’t stop loving you.”

The vulnerability in his voice cracked something inside you, and before you could stop yourself, your lips met his. The kiss was frantic, desperate. His hands cradled your face as though you were something sacred, something he couldn’t bear to lose. For a fleeting moment, you let yourself drown in him, in the memory of what you once had.

But as quickly as it began, reality crashed over you. You pulled away, your breathing uneven as tears blurred your vision. “We can’t.” You whispered, stepping back. “This isn’t right.”

Barty reached for you, his voice trembling. “Please, don’t do this. Don’t walk away again. I’ll change- I’ll leave everything behind if that’s what it takes. Just… don’t leave me.”

The sincerity in his words nearly broke you, but you forced yourself to meet his gaze. “If you loved me, you would’ve chosen me before it came to this,” you said, your voice steady despite the tears streaming down your face. “But it’s too late, Barty. You can’t undo what’s been done. We both.. we both know if it came to me or Regulus- me or Evan.”

“That's not fair.” He croaked.

Your eyes flicked up to his as your tears rushed down your face. “It isn't.”

His shoulders slumped, the light in his eyes dimming as your words sank in. For the first time, he seemed to realize that no amount of pleading or promises would bring you back to him. “I’ll always love you.” whispered, his voice hollow.

You turned away, your heart shattering as you walked down the spiral staircase, leaving him alone in the tower. You didn’t look back. You couldn’t. You knew if you did, you’d lose your resolve.

When the train pulled into King’s Cross at the end of the year, you were greeted by the sight of your brother and his friends waiting for you. James’s grin was wide as he swept you into a bear hug, and for the first time in months, you felt like you could breathe again. Sirius ruffled your hair, Remus gave you a reassuring smile, and Lily’s arm wrapped protectively around your shoulders.

Even as you smiled, as you let yourself feel the warmth of their love and support, a part of you still ached. A part of you still thought of the boy you had left behind. But as the summer sun warmed your face and James’s laughter rang in your ears, you realized that some chapters had to end, no matter how much they hurt.

~~~

The kitchen was warm, filled with the comforting smell of breakfast and the sound of soft laughter. Lily twirled Harry in her arms, humming along to the radio as James danced beside them, making ridiculous faces to elicit another bright giggle from his son. Harry’s laughter rang out like a bell, pure and joyful, filling the room with a happiness so genuine it felt almost untouchable.

June 24, 1981. The day meant nothing and yet everything, because for a fleeting moment, life felt like it was untouched by war. Even without Peter, the Potter manor felt like home again.

Sirius leaned against the counter, a mischievous grin lighting his face as he watched James spin Harry dramatically before dipping him like a proper ballroom partner. “Fancy a dance, Bambi?” Sirius asked, holding out a hand to you with an exaggerated flourish.

You couldn’t help but laugh, the sound bubbling up before you could stop it. “Only if you promise not to step on my feet, Black.” You placed your hand in his, letting him pull you into the center of the kitchen. The music was upbeat, and Sirius matched it with absurdly exaggerated movements, twirling you around with flair that made you laugh so hard you had to clutch his shoulder for balance.

Sirius finally let out a mock sigh, fanning himself. “Too much for me, little Potter.” He joked, stepping aside. “Your turn, Moony. Show her how a real gentleman dances.”

Remus chuckled softly, stepping forward with a shake of his head. He took your hand with a gentleness that made your heart ache, pulling you into a slower, steadier rhythm despite the lively tune still playing on the radio. Even with his weight pressed heavy on his crutch, and your movements small and slow, it still felt all the same. His gaze lingered on yours, his hazel eyes soft and filled with something you couldn’t quite name.

"You deserve this.” He muttered quietly, just loud enough for you to hear. “To smile like this every day.”

The warmth of his words filled your chest, but it was bittersweet, a reminder of all the times you hadn’t felt this light. You swallowed the lump in your throat, forcing a small smile. “You do too, Remus.”

He returned the smile, spinning you one last time before James swept in with dramatic flair, lifting you off the ground. “One more dance before breakfast!” He announced, making you laugh despite yourself. “No sad faces allowed today. We’re celebrating.”

It was perfect- the kind of moment you could tuck away and hold onto when the world outside felt unbearable. Lily danced with Harry in her arms, Sirius joined in with exaggerated moves, and the room filled with the kind of happiness you hadn’t felt in so long. For a brief, fragile moment, it was enough.

But then the music stopped.

The radio cut out abruptly, replaced by the somber voice of a news broadcaster. “We interrupt this broadcast to bring you an urgent update on the latest casualties in the ongoing conflict. The names of those lost in the recent skirmish include…”

The warmth of the room vanished, the light dimming as everyone froze. James set you down gently, his expression hardening as he turned toward the radio. Lily instinctively clutched Harry closer, her face pale. Sirius’s grin disappeared entirely, his hand hovering near the dial as though he could will the news away.

The list of names continued, some familiar, most not. Each one was a reminder of the growing cost of the war, of the lives slipping away like grains of sand.

And then you heard it.

“...Evan Rosier, Bartemius Crouch Junior…”

The words echoed in your ears, louder than anything else. The world seemed to stop. You couldn’t breathe, couldn’t move, as the name repeated in your mind, over and over. Barty.

The boy who had loved you so fiercely, who had been so lost, so desperate to make you stay. He was gone. Evan too, another name tethered to your past, but it was Barty’s that struck you like a knife to the chest.

At first, you laughed. You could of sworn James looked at you like you had lost it; you wouldn't blame him. It was ridiculous. The boy you knew, the magnetic and ethereal wizard who you gave your all too couldn't possibly be dead. He was your age. He was a kid. You had both just graduated- what in Merlin's name could they possibly be on about?

Your laughter slowly died down into a choked gasp and a sniffle, your body stiff. You closed your eyes tight and tried to stifle your sobs. “No…” Your knees buckled, and James caught you instantly, his arm tightening around your shoulders. Sirius reached out, shutting off the radio with a harsh click, the silence that followed deafening.

“He…” Your voice cracked, trembling as you forced the words out. “He’s really gone?”

Remus stepped closer, his expression pained. He placed a hand on your shoulder, steady and comforting. “Yes,” he said quietly, his voice barely above a whisper.

Lily’s eyes shimmered with unshed tears as she rocked Harry gently, trying to keep him calm. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered, her voice breaking. The sound of her grief only deepened the ache in your chest.

James pressed his nose to your temple, his hand cradling the back of your head. “I’m sorry, Bambi,” He murmured, his voice thick with emotion. “I’m so sorry.”

The tears came before you could stop them, spilling freely as your body trembled. You clung to James like he was the only thing keeping you grounded, your sobs muffled against his shoulder. The memories of Barty overwhelmed you; the way he’d looked at you, like you were his everything; the way he’d held you, as though letting go would destroy him. The thought that you would never see him again, never hear his voice or feel his touch, crushed you.

“I thought I was over him.” You whispered through your tears, your voice trembling. “I swore I was. But now…”

Sirius moved closer, his arm wrapping around you and James. “You don’t have to say anything,” he murmured, his voice uncharacteristically soft. “We’ve got you.”

You didn’t respond. You couldn’t. Your throat felt too tight, the lump of grief choking you. You lifted your head to look around the room, at the faces of the people who had been your family for so long. They were blurry through your tears, but their love was palpable, a steady anchor in the storm of your emotions.

Still, the ache remained, deep and unrelenting. Because no matter how much you tried to convince yourself that you had moved on, a part of you would always carry Barty. His loss wasn’t just his death; it was the loss of what could have been, the love that might have saved him if only things had been different. If only he chose it. Because you and Barty were a Hogwarts fling, everyone knows they don't last forever. But even if it crashed in a blazing glory, even if you both turned bitter, if the break up destroyed you. You'd rather feel that.

The kitchen felt colder now, the warmth of the morning replaced by the sobering weight of reality. And yet, as James held you tightly, as Sirius and Remus stayed close, as Lily hummed softly to soothe Harry, you knew you weren’t alone. Even in the face of heartbreak, you were still surrounded by love. And somehow, you would find a way to carry on.

~~~ Bonus Scene~~~

The house was suffocating in its silence.

Your childhood home, once filled with laughter and the chaotic warmth of your family, now seemed cold and lifeless. James and Lily were busy with their own lives, preparing for the future that everyone whispered about in cautious tones, and Sirius had left for good reason you couldn’t fault him for. You were alone, and the empty hallways of the Potter Manor only amplified the echo of your own thoughts.

It had been days since you’d learned the news of what befell Barty.

After the shock ran over you it took days of Remus coaxing to get you out of bed. Then days to be able to face a mirror. Everyone was supportive, helpful, but you felt just as pathetic as you did in school.

The ache in your chest felt heavier tonight as you climbed the stairs to your old room. The moonlight filtered through the windows, casting long, pale shadows across the walls. You reached your room and pushed the door open, slipping inside and locking it with a flick of your wand. It was habit more than anything; no one else was here.

You set your wand on the bedside table and turned toward the window, intent on shutting the heavy curtains, when a hand clamped over your mouth.

Panic erupted within you, and instinct took hold. Without thinking, you threw your head back as hard as you could, the satisfying crack of impact reverberating through your skull. A sharp, pained grunt followed, and the grip on you loosened.

Spinning around, your heart hammering in your chest, you braced for a fight- only to come face to face with the last person you’d expected to see.

“Bloody hell, star,” Barty groaned, one hand pressed to his nose as he leaned against the wall for support. Blood trickled between his fingers, but his lips still curled into that maddeningly familiar smirk. “That’s twice you’ve done that. Are you always this violent, or am I special?”

The air left your lungs, your body frozen in place. “No.” You whispered, shaking your head as if the motion could erase what you were seeing. “No. You’re- You’re supposed to be dead.”

Barty let out a low chuckle, straightening up and swiping at the blood on his face. “I think.. we should talk.”

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catbread0 · 3 months ago

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Hiya, may I request a Sebastian Solace x (GN/fem)reader, where the reader had also went through urbanshade’s experiments to enhance mobility in the water or abnormal strength. Maybe it could take place a day or two before the whole lockdown where the reader is put in with Sebastian in hopes for trying to tame Sebastian’s bumbling rage and a companion (aka, another sentient being) in hope of keeping him under control.

Mayhaps as well when the whole lockdown does happen Sebastian goes to find the reader since they might have also been getting transported and they had more of a larger dose of the tranq (since Ik Sebastian faked being knocked out and someone had to smart enough to hear the gaur panic about it and gave reader and extra dose.). Just a smidge of angst.

Sorry if this doesn’t make complete sense, I tend to do that when I’m excited about something rush to put all my thoughts and ideas down 😭

-🌽 anon

Sebastian Solace x Fem! Experimented! Reader

I loved doing this. Sorry for the late response. There have been so many requests since the last time I saw. Hopefully, you enjoy reading this.

(*ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ꕤ*.ﾟ

Words: 3,148

Very OOC, mention of killing/death and drugs (anesthesia), a bit of angst, happy ending, a bit of comfort

All the information I found is from the official Pressure wiki, urbanshade.org!! NOT FANDOM WIKI (MOST STUFF ON THEIR IS NOT CORRECT, PLEASE CHECK THE OFFICIAL WIKI!!)(Note: I made this before the friendly fire update came out)

Sebastian Solace Masterlist

Beloved Companion

Document:

Z-##, codename: _________, real name “(Y/n)(L/n)”. Z-## has undergone experiments to enhance the ability to breathe underwater and strengthen humans. Z-## has successfully gained the ability to breathe underwater. However, their strength has also increased but only to a certain point that could break in half the body of a human. When added more DNA of stronger sea creatures, it seemed to stay the same no matter the animal. After that experiment was done, Z-## underwent another experiment that had DNA strands of sea creatures that are known to be calm and friendly towards sea creatures. However, due to most of the fish being small, it had a drawback, it decreased her height to 8 '2", she was originally 10' 1".

After the calm sea creature experiment, Z-## was put in containment cells for other experiments in Hadal Blacksite for a few days. Some include Z-317 (Eyefestation), Z-367 (Pandemonium), Z-283 (The Angler), and S-Q (Squiddles). All of the interactions with Z-## have been a positive outcome. The specimens have been calmed down and/or have been less hostile for a few days until Z-## is put back with them.

Because of the variants of success with Z-##, her rank has been moved up to MR-P, and she was given more benefits with her rank being moved up. These benefits included: better living conditions, being allowed to roam the facility freely, and being involved in non-deadly testing.

Recently, Z-13 (Handy Man) has been getting harder to control due to his anger and rage whenever he sees one of the scientists. We have debated if Z-## should enter Z-13’s containment cell. While Z-13 is also an MR-P, it is unpredictable if he would harm and/or kill Z-## due to the burst of outrage he has been having for the past week or so. In the end, it has been decided that Z-## will go into Z-13’s containment cell. If Z-## gets harmed, then Z-13 would be neutralized by any means necessary but not to the point of killing him. Then, Z-## would be taken out immediately and rushed to be checked up on.

The goal is that Z-## will hopefully calm down Z-13’s rage, just like the other specimens that have encountered her. This will also be a test to see if there could be a potential chance of them being partners to see how their human DNA mixed with the DNA of sea creatures in both of them, could affect genetics when it comes to their offspring.

End of Z-##’s current document.

You were roaming your spacious water enclosure when you heard your ‘name’ be called on the speaker in your enclosure.

“Z-##, please come outside your enclosure. You will be entering another specimen’s enclosure today. They are an MR-P just like you.”

You swam to the door that will get you out of your enclosure. You stood in the middle of two doors, the door behind you closed shut, and the water started to drain from where you were in between the doors. Once the water was fully drained, the door in front of you opened, and you entered the room.

You followed the small scientist to where these new people you would be meeting today. You would wave to some of the scientists. It was a habit since you would always wave at the other sea people each time you met them in their enclosure.

You soon arrived and stood in front of the glass window to the water enclosure.

“Today you will be meeting Z-13. He recently has been having outbursts every time a scientist walks by or when they try to communicate with him through the intercom. You will be with him for 5 days and 5 nights, in the morning you will return to your enclosure. Then, later in the day, you are scheduled to have another experiment. If anything were to happen to you in Z-13’s enclosure, yell, and you would be taken out immediately. Understood?”

You nodded at the small scientist. You looked back through the glass window to try and find ‘Z-13’. To no luck, it looked empty in the water enclosure.

“I should warn you that he is bigger than most specimens you have encountered before. Z-13 is 10 '6".”

The small scientist stated that as you entered the door. At least they gave you a warning.

The door behind you was shut, and you were again in between two doors. The water slowly rose and filled the small room you were in to enter the water enclosure. The door in front of you opened once it was filled with water, and you swam into the enclosure.

The small scientist pressed a button that made the glass window no longer able to see through both ways. It was for Z-13 not to be outraged if a scientist were to accidentally walk by.

You swam around but still couldn't find Z-13.

That was until you spotted what looked like a cave on the side of the wall near the floor, its entry was covered up in large seaweeds, making it almost hard to see it in the first place.

You swam into the cave, “Hello? Are you here?”

You soon see 3 blue eyes in the corner of the cave, and you jump a bit, not expecting that. You swam closer but stayed a few distance away.

“Hello, I'm Z-##, but my real name is (Y/n)(L/n). What is your name, Z-13? It would be nice to put a name to a face.”

Sebastian didn't answer. He thought you were just doing this because of the scientists forcing you.

When you realized he wasn't going to answer you, you waited on the opposite side of the cave and made yourself comfortable.

You kept talking about small things, like what you did before you were jailed, why you were put in jail, how nice the other sea people were to you, etc. Whenever you talked, you seemed genuinely happy every single time.

After talking, you started to think that maybe he thought you were annoying.

“I'm sorry, I will leave if you are uncomfortable.”

You got up and started swimming the same way you entered since there was only one way to exit and enter the cave.

“Sebastian, Sebastian Solace is my name”

You immediately paused, not expecting him to answer or talk to you at all. You immediately swam right towards him.

“That's a nice name. Can I see what you look like? If that's fine with you, of course.”

He was silent for a bit before pulling on his anglerfish lure.

Goodness, when you saw him, you felt something inside you, as if your heart skipped a beat.

He was quite handsome, at least in your eyes. But you shook that thought out of your head.

You both started small talks, but they would give brief replies.

Soon, the day would end. You slept on the opposite side of the cave, not wanting to invade his space.

Meanwhile, Sebastian would stare at you for a few minutes.

‘She'll probably ask the stupid scientists to take her away tomorrow’ he thought before turning off his lure and going to sleep.

The next day, he woke up to you gone, ‘I was right. It was stupid to think she would sta-’

“Oh, you're awake? I got your bucket of fish that the scientists brought. Here.” You said as you entered the cave and handed him the bucket full of fish.

Sebastian took the bucket but looked at it before eating it. He thought you put something in it before realizing you didn't.

You talked, and he ended up opening up to you a bit more this time.

As some hours passed, you both were out of the cave and swimming around Sebastian's enclosure.

At some point, Sebastian was teaching you Spanish, or at least how he speaks Spanish since he's Chilean-American. Different countries speak the same language but say it differently.

You both ended up spending almost the whole day outside of the cave and returned to sleep.

On the 3rd day, he woke up and saw you sleeping. He went outside the cave and picked up both of your buckets of fish, and brought them back to the cave.

The whole day, you two spent knowing more about each other's life, your family, colleges you both went to, what classes you both majored in, and some of your talents. Sebastian even used some of the plants, rocks, and garbage he had lying around to make a prop that looked like an electric guitar and tried to teach you.

You both laughed and smiled with each other almost the entire day.

Night came back more quickly than you both thought. You and Sebastian returned to the cave.

As you were getting comfortable to sleep in your corner, you felt a soft material cover your upper body.

“I snatched this when the scientists weren't looking while I was doing some janitor duties. Perks of being an MR-P.”

You gave Sebastian a warm smile and thanked him before falling asleep.

Sebastian didn’t want to admit it, but he felt happy when he was with you. You would listen to him, and it didn't feel like he was talking to the wall. Unlike those scientists, they only asked questions about his mutation and waited for a response from him to record it.

Only caring about the progress.

On the 4th day, Sebastian woke up early and decided to pour some of his fish from his bucket into yours.

The scientists had seen this through the glass, during the night they decided to make the glass be 1-sided, they could see you but you couldn't see if they were there.

They saw this as a sign of success but also that maybe he was trying to court you. This made them think that there could be a possibility that you two could have offspring and they could continue their testing.

Later in the day you and Sebastian were messing around, he was trying to teach you how to ‘dance’. The dances were ones that he saw people dancing to at Chilean/Hispanic parties that he went to. It was a mess since you both didn't have legs to step on, but you both enjoyed each other’s attempts.

On the 4th night, you both moved closer to each other and slept peacefully. But both of you had your back to each other.

It was the 5th day, and you and Sebastian were getting closer to the end of your visit.

“Sebastian, I have to leave tomorrow morning, and after that, I'm scheduled to be experimented on. I'll make sure to see you after it's done”

After telling him you could tell he didn't look pleased, his ears and tail twitched.

“I am also scheduled to have an experiment done on me tomorrow. Maybe we will be able to see each other again right before it happens.”

You smiled when you heard that, “I hope we can.”

Soon, it was the next morning, and it was time for you to leave. You said bye to Sebastian and gave him a warm smile before you left.

After a few hours, he was called out for his scheduled experiment.

He was left in the surgery room and was given anesthesia. He pretended the effects had worked on him, but he was fully awake.

He heard the door open and close to his room, footsteps walking around the room, and heard the scientists speaking.

“After we are done with Z-13 we have to perform on Z-##, even if the chances of her dying is 75%, there is still a slim chance of her surviving and for it to be a success. It would be a great benefit for Hadal Blacksite.” One of the scientists said

“But she’s an MR-P. They are only allowed to be experimented on if it's non-deadly.” the second scientist asked.

The first scientist answered, “Well no surgery or experimentation is 100% safe. If she perishes, then we will start back on square 1 on another inmate.”

Sebastian felt his body fill with rage once again. Once the 2 scientists were close enough, Sebastian immediately killed them by slashing them with his claws.

Sebastian immediately slithered out of his surgery room, and an Elite Guardsman was standing right outside. Just as the Elite Guardsman was about to shoot at Sebastian, Sebastian killed him and stole his keycard.

There were other scientists and guardsmen around as this happened.

Everything went into chaos.

People ran to escape, and guardsmen shot at Sebastian, but the bullets did not affect him, making some of them run away with the others. Desk’s, doors, tables, chairs, and the lights were either destroyed or thrown around.

Sebastian killed the Guardsmen who were shooting at him or trying to stop him. As he was doing this, he was trying to find your room to take you away before they could kill you.

Meanwhile, you were lying on the surgery table. You trusted the scientist who would perform on you since you are an MR-P. But also because you were always nice to them, helping them calm other sea people around the lab, always following orders, etc.

How naive you were, or was it because of the fish's DNA that mixed with yours? It didn’t matter to them. To most of them, you were just a lab rat who benefited them.

As the scientist in your room gave a syringe of anesthesia, you both heard the sound of people screaming and things being trashed. That's when the scientist's handheld radio (or walkie-talkie) started making noise from the other end.

Blood-curdling screams could be heard loudly, “Z-13 HAS FEIGNED HIS EFFECTS OF ANESTHESIA AND IS ON A LOOSE KILLING SPREE. I REPEAT Z-13 HAS FEIGNED-”

That’s all that was heard until the other end was abruptly cut off.

You sat up immediately, “Sebastian is wh-”

That's when the scientist gave you 3 more syringes of anesthesia quickly. They knew if Z-13 wasn't affected, then you mostly weren’t with just one. They were frightened with the idea that you would do the same. Your strengthened ability could break a human's body easily in half. They thought you would follow Z-13 and try to kill them.

You immediately fell off the table, from the sudden effects making you pass out.

The scientist was about to give you another syringe again with anesthesia until Sebastian barged into the room. He finally found you but saw you on the floor unconscious. He saw the scientist who did this with the syringe in their hand. He immediately killed them, tore them up, and they were almost unrecognizable afterward.

Soon, the commotion died down and came to an end. It was only the two of you currently. Everyone who survived escaped or maybe died while running away.

Sebastian carried you in bridal style with his 2 arms and used the 3rd one to try and feel your pulse.

He felt that your pulse was dangerously low.

He carried you out of the surgery room and went looking for other rooms. He soon found a vent that led to another small room. He laid you down carefully on the floor.

He knew he couldn’t do much. It was just a matter of luck and time to see if you would wake up. Too much anesthesia could kill you or send you into a coma. All he could do was just watch and protect you from any further physical harm.

4 days have passed of endless waiting.

Sebastian watched over you, trying to find more things to make you comfortable, feeling your pulse from time to time, bringing in extra fish, or whatever snacks that were left behind by the scientist, and stored them on the shelves in the room in case you woke up from your coma.

During your coma, Sebastian used the keycard he stole earlier from the Elite Guardsman and released the monsters in Hadal Blacksite. Some of the monsters decided to help after being told what happened to you by killing the people who would enter to try and retrieve the crystal to get the place back into running its cruel experiments.

You slowly opened your eyes. It was pitch black. You didn't know where you were. That's when a sudden light lit up the room. (Sebastian’s angler lure)

“You're finally awake. You had me worried that you would leave me behind. I have food for you, go ahead and eat. I’ll explain what happened while you eat.”

You slowly started eating, still somewhat under the effects of the anesthesia that was steadily wearing off. As you were eating, Sebastian explained what he had overheard when he was faking about being under anesthesia, the killing spree he went on to find you, him releasing the monsters, causing the lockdown, you being unconscious for 3 days, etc.

You felt betrayal dig a small hole into you, but you also felt stupid for thinking they wouldn’t do that to you at some point no matter your rank.

Sebastian helped you process everything and pat your back when you would choke on your food. Sebastian helped you all the time while you were still too weak.

After a few days, you started to become your old self again. You went to see some of the monsters and wandered into rooms you never got the chance to see.

You helped Sebastian set up his shop by collecting the items he accidentally found when he was trying to find files to blackmail Hadal Blacksite.

After some months, you both started to gain feelings for each other. It took a while for the both of you to realize you felt the same way towards each other.

You both helped each other, you patching his arm, him protecting you from people trying to kill you because they mistook you for being dangerous, talking with p.ai.nter (Z-779) and spending time with each other in the shop while inmates buy things from the both of you.

You were glad that he saved you from your deathbed and glad you were both in a relationship.

You gave him one last kiss before you both went to sleep for the night. Already looking forward to tomorrow.

Bonus!

How you both learned you both felt the same was by accident.

You were visiting p.ai.nter, and you were talking to him until they accidentally mentioned that Sebastian likes you.

“Sebastian did tell me that he thinks that he has feelings for you, since when you were first with him.”

It was dead silent for a bit, both of you realizing what he said.

“Oops…”

He also made the same mistake with Sebastian, telling him you like him.

....Maybe it wasn't actually a ‘mistake’.

~Lilly's

#pressure sebastian #sebastian solace #x reader #x female reader #oneshot #angst #fluff #happy ending #comfort #pressure sebastian solace #sebastian pressure #pressure #pressure roblox #roblox pressure

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batneko · 2 months ago

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last night as I was trying to fall asleep my brain gave me a story about Bowser as an imprisoned dragongod who is worshiped but enslaved, kept in a cave where he can't do anything but watch the outside world. He can tell the worshipers what to do (within reason) because his powers are so useful to them that they know if he ever gets angry or miserable enough to off himself they'll all be screwed. They have a LOT of enemies, who all assume that the god is their willing ally, and would be more than happy to crush them the moment they have the chance.

the closest thing to affection Bowser ever had was the woman who decided to bear his child. He genuinely believed she wanted to be the bride of a god, but the moment she was sure she was pregnant she left without even looking back.

years later, when he's told himself he doesn't care anymore (he obviously very much still cares), he sees a beautiful sweet princess and decides he wants her. He orders his "minions" to capture her and present her to him as a... permanent guest. He doesn't think she'll like being a prisoner, of course. HE sure doesn't. But he's stuck down here with no hope of escape, ever, and he can at least make her stay very comfortable. She's a princess, she must be used to being in a gilded cage.

though he knows that the princess has protectors, and they've made things difficult for his followers over the last couple years, he never gives them much thought. Bowser never imagines that they'd be so determined to protect the princess from him that one of them would disguise himself as the princess and willingly get "sacrificed" to the inescapable dragon cave.

(this was briefly brought up as a potential plan by the brothers, but discarded immediately because they don't want anybody to have to be stuck with a dragon forever, especially not each other. But then they got separated and Luigi was the only one left to protect Peach and they were captured and there was no time to spare and... it was the only thing he could think of.)

Bowser is furious, of course, but what he really wanted was companionship. If this random guy is who he's got, it's who he's got. And the random guy is weirdly optimistic about this whole thing, although he's scared of Bowser he never once stops believing that his brother will be coming to save him. No matter how much Bowser explains that not even a god can get out of this hole, Luigi insists that it's only a matter of time. His brother will come for him.

(he does, of course, freeing both of them.)

And that was as far as I got! I probably won't ever write it because it's too dramatic and also absolves Bowser of most responsibility for the evil done in his name. I like Bowser as a villain who really isn't justified in what he does. That's where the spice is! 🌶

But it's fun to think about Luigi being his usual nice guy self around someone who isn't used to being treated like a person, on multiple levels.

#bowuigi #bowuigi au #luwser #bowigi #green shell #free idea

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unadulteratedsoulsweets · 2 years ago

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A DC X DP IDEA #8 A Pair

Imagine dis…

It is always Damian having a secret twin, a presumed dead twin, or even a lost twin. But what about Tim Drake having a twin?

Tim Drake always asked himself why would his parents willingly avoid and neglect him by taking trips around the globe and being left alone frequently. When Jack Drake woke up briefly from his coma, Tim asked the man who would have been his father why would they neglect him, is it he is a mistake? Or it is something else.

Jack Drake looked at the painful eyes of his son and knowing that he doesn’t have much time, told him the truth.

The Drake family used to be between being rich and being in the middle class in Gotham. Both he and Janet were excited about the baby seeing that they were told that it would be twins. They got married early and when they went to the doctor to ask some questions about their planned pregnancy the doctor quickly shut down the idea as Janet’s tests revealed that she has severe infertility issues that make her chances of having kids near to zero. But that didn’t stop the two, after years of trying for a child, their prayers and efforts were answered a much more surprising is that they were having twins. They were excited about being careful and protective of them just when they were inside Janet’s womb, then the day of their birth came. They were happy and content as well feeling relief that both babies and mother survived the labor, two healthy boys greeted them loud and healthy. What they didn’t know there was someone lurking and waiting from the shadows. A longtime rival of the couple heard about their struggles in bearing children as well as the new addition, and as an act of revenge, he hired someone to take their child. What he didn’t know was that Ms. Drake gave birth to twins not a single child so when the hired kidnapper saw the last name of his target in the nursery, he didn’t even bother to look at the neighboring crib that contains the other child. Quickly snatching up the child and smuggling the newborn out of the hospital to be abandoned later in the middle somewhere in between the wildlife around him, to be left to die due to starvation or by wild animals.

Both of the new parents were devastated at the loss of their youngest, they tracked and put the man behind bars of the one who was responsible but when the Gotham police tried to interrogate him on what he had done to the newborn he just laughed manically and answered no question. They can’t even track down the supposed hired kidnapper. Seeing that they cannot stay any longer as they have another child to take care of. In the early years of Tim’s life, he was loved and cared for but the moment he started growing to an age where he can remember things both parents acted cold. As to one maybe if those around them saw how they acted maybe they would not even think or do a thing into harming him seeing that the company is growing by the time more rivals and enemies that might befall them but the fact that their remaining son will be safe they will do anything. Everyone in Gotham is corrupt in some way and they could not trust any hired security for him as rogues are running rampant and might not be enough for Tim.

It might be an F-ed up way, Jack confessed. But at the time they could not think straight as they didn’t have time to mourn for their other child and the fact that the remaining child they have was in constant danger just by having a growing company’s name as his last name.

Tim was shocked, he had prepared himself for any hurtful words to be thrown at him but the fact that he has a brother that was snatched away just hours after they were born was.

As Tim continue his silence Jack looked around at the hospital room he was in and immediately located his clothes and belonging that was folded up neatly in a corner, Jack forced himself to walk towards the pile of belongings to look for something.

Tim tried to help Jack but he turned around holding a tin that was meant to hold cigars, a tin that Tim noticed that his father Jack always carried with him. Jack opened the tin and inside lays a single picture of the twins. In the picture, both parents who are both tired and exhausted look at the camera with warm smiles that Tim barely remembers, are holding a single child each around their arms, with only blankets of ocean blue and sky blue separating the two babies. Tim remembered the ocean blue blanket tucked safely in the Drake mansion’s attic.

….

It has been a few years since Timothy Drake learned about his twin, He began keeping an eye out, from one state to another country for any sign or lead to his twin for him to have a proper burial.

No one in the Bat-family knew his conversation with Jack that day nor that he now has the tin that contains the single photo of the Drake family all in all looking happy. At first, he just made an initial background of the investigation that had taken place but seeing the happy faces of the Wayne family made him envious of the bond they have including Damian.

Now that learning of his supposed twin, he kept looking at his reflection. Would his supposed twin have the same interest as him? If he was here would they be polar opposites? Would they have clashing personalities or would they get along? These are the questions that kept swimming in his head ever since he noticed the Waynes.

Don’t get him wrong he was grateful to Bruce, as he made Tim realize his parents Jack and Janet are supposed to neglect him, looking at the present he just transferred from one form of neglect to another.

What he had done in his past life he may never know as all he ever wanted in life is to be loved and appreciated. To be acknowledged through his hard work, not chalking it up to him being a genius, it seems they have forgotten that hard work has always beaten a genius.

He may now have a family but Tim doesn’t know if they are better or worse than where he was before.

An instance Jason had tried to kill him multiple times not once he received an apology. He gets it. Being replaced by the man you once call father is painful but he tried multiple times to explain that he literally blackmailed Bruce for him to be Robin as Batman is getting more violent each passing day after his death and sooner or later he would have killed someone, and that is something Bruce would carry around like a boulder due to his guilt. He admired Robin; he was under the impression that he could never live the expectations of being Robin. He was just merely filling up the space when Batman found an official Robin. He could never replace Jason, at least Jason was picked and wanted by Bruce while Batman has no choice when it comes to Tim.

Dick tried to treat him like brothers would, but Tim always saw through his façade, Tim saw how Dick kept him at arm’s length. He gets it he was replacing his brother whom he knew and grow up with, but the fact he kept getting hurt by the fact, he lies to himself every night.

The way he gathers information they all assumed that to his insomnia, as well the way they come to him not to say hello or a hi but they needed something from him that needed his area of expertise.

Just like his biological father and mother who has the F-cked up way to cope and mourn their loss, it seems he has also inherited that particular bad habit to cope. Knowing that they go to him if they need information he began researching and investigating each crime, each suspicion as well as each piece of information, so that they go to him, just HIM for help.

If it weren’t for Alfred, he would have succumbed to hunger due to his research.

When Damian entered his life, he was more than happy to have a brother to care for.

Much to his horror, his new brother despise his very being and tried to kill him multiple times.

When Bruce was lost in the time stream nobody in their family knew how to manage a multi-billionaire company aside from Alfred, but due to his age as well he was left with no choice.

Dick was left to fill in the shoes of Batman and offered Damian as Robin.

Which hurt.

He has grown to his role as Robin, he created his own legacy on the title.

Dick started to be a partner to Batman as well creating a legacy. Known for his acrobatics as well as being the first one.

Jason became the second Robin, a Robin who was known for his recklessness, strength, and brashness.

Tim earned the acknowledgment of Ra Al Ghul aka the Demon’s Head, who is the greatest detective second to none other than Batman himself. Who had been trained by Lady Shiva herself? Who mastered a variety of weapons to a certain degree as well as being able to use them to their full potential?

The role of Robin was ripped away from him without a second thought from Dick.

Still, he made it through, creating another vigilante persona as well as managing the company so that they have a continuous supply of funds.

When he managed to get evidence that their father figure lived, he was ignored and forgotten. When he only, managed to save Bruce from the Time stream, not a single Thank you had come out of their mouths nor did an apology for ignoring him.

He continued this lifestyle, the continuous attempt of his life at those he likes to see as brothers to his life. Every time he defended himself, HE was the one scolded by either Bruce or Dick, they kept telling him to be the bigger man to be better. The amount of verbal abuse, calling him Inferior by Damián and Replacement by Jason added to the fact that Dick or Bruce never seemed to see no wrong with the two.

Unappreciated and unloved is he, he still considers them as his family someone he can call to have his back but after a night it all went downhill.

Another night another dinner, at the table he was being made fun of by both Jason and Damian, Bruce kept saying nothing as well as Dick. Other people namely Stephanie, Barbara, Cass, and Duke kept sending him worried glances as Alfred is glaring slightly at Bruce. An off-handed comment from Damian, as well as Jason about his birth father, made him snap.

He yelled at them.

His feelings, his anger, his resentment, his sadness, his stress.

How could this family sit idly at his treatment?

After yelling and having a breakdown in front of the table he quickly rushed towards his room and prepared to run.

Gathering his things as well erasing his very identity in the Bat computer as well erasing his tracks, he escaped at the night.

Using a car that he had stashed away he began to leave Gotham as he thinks it is time for him to start a new one.

As Tim was crossing the border, he was ambushed by the same man who had kidnapped his brother. He had escaped and once he was released, he was left with nothing, his wife and child gone from his former home. He decided to blame the late Drake for his misfortunes but the moment he learned about their demise his revenge went to the remaining Drake.

Tim knew he was better than this, crashing a car due to someone having spooked him was nothing but a rookie mistake. But the moment he laid eyes on the same man who took away his brother now inching to him with a knife in his hand his thoughts were not about Bruce and the others looking and finding him in a car crash but thoughts about his brother finally meeting him.

Lady Gotham heard his final moments before he was stabbed and had his throat slit. She wailed and mourned at her favorite knight, who used his inheritance for the betterment of the Gotham citizens who uses his skills to protect whom she favored by wrapping her shadows around him to give him a sense of comfort and to better hide him at the dangers of the night. Seeing that he never crossed the border she dared to summon her king to aid her knight.

…

Danny is enjoying his life he was accepted by his parents as Phantom, he had adopted Ellie as his daughter, and his sister is now able to go to college without the fear of him being rejected by their parents. His friends are going strong by each day, the ghost is now much more cooperative with the Amity citizens to fulfill their obsessions. Fruit loop had also changed into a new leaf and now tries to be a better godfather and father to Jazz, Danny, and Ellie. Dan had earned his parole and was now able to roam free as long there is someone to look at him.

But life is not all full of rainbows and unicorns.

GIW is now snatching up the locals' Amity Parkers as they are considered part of the Anti-Ecto entities as they have been contaminated in some way or another.

He is now King of the Infinite Realms as he had defeated the previous one in combat.

Seeing the aggressiveness of the GIW he transported the entire Amity Park to the Realms to protect ad create their own little island as part of the Realm. It didn’t take long for the locals to be used to their new appearance and abilities as they also have been noticing the way they act ever since the spike in ghost activity.

They are told to not leave for the mortal realm as they are still compromised. Removing Amity in both the map and record had been easy with the help of Technus and Tucker they manage to remove themselves and every database in the world.

Without any work to be presented the GIW was seen as a scam in the government branch and thus being removed from any form of funding as well as being dismissed and dissolved in the government.

It was one eventful day when he was summoned by one of his advisers. He was just merely signing paperwork when he felt someone summoning his rather sensing it was urgent he let himself be summoned to where he was.

There he saw Lady Gotham cradling a bloodied teen, the moment Danny laid his eyes on the teen his core lurched at the amount of protectiveness. As he kept pumping out his own ectoplasm to heal or even revive the said teen, he began to look at the teen’s details.

In his mind, he was wondering why would his core react such in a way but the moment he saw the teen's face his mind turn to a halt.

He saw his own face reflecting on the teen which would be impossible unless one of the previous clones that Vlad had made had escaped and got out of his mind control.

But he idly wonders how could this supposed clone of his have blood in him.

…

After the initial confusion and panic, both brothers were able to get the whole story.

The Fenton couple were surprised that they have forgotten to tell Danny that he is adopted and had saved him from starving in the middle of the forest.

Danny as well as the rest of the Fenton family wanted nothing more than to march toward where these Waynes were and rip them apart.

Tim on the other hand was both saddened at the fact this brother had died and hopeful that maybe just maybe he could have the family he ever dreamed of.

…

Turns out Tim was right, due to Danny trying to keep him alive by pumping pure ectoplasm aka the pits had turned him into a halfa whose core is equivalent to shadows due to Lady Gotham favoring him more.

The family dinners where he faced running and fighting food maybe work out for him but the number of memories, he stored from Danny trying to beat the hotdogs to submission to broccolis, peas, and carrots starting a civil war on his plate on who is the best vegetable there is.

He gained parents who are a bit of a screw loose but hey who says normal is sane.

He gained 2 older siblings and a younger sister which made his jaw drop.

Dan who is supposedly his twin in an alternate time where instead of being saved by Danny, Tim died and due to his grief and anger turned evil. Jazz whose mother hens Tim every second of the day and Dani/ Ellie who is twin brother’s clone turned daughter, who creates chaos in every sense.

He became Lady Gotham’s heir and champion that one day she may move on but she will pass down her brooch as it is the symbol of her authority as well her seat as one of the advisers of the King. It may be a few centuries or so before that fateful day so Tim has all the time to be a child once again as well as training to become the heir worthy of Lady Gotham.

When Tim asked who the King of the Infinite Realms all eyes turned to Danny as he nervously stated that he may have forgotten to tell Tim that particular detail.

Overall, Tim is safe and happy in this new life in his, with a new family that cares and loves him for just being him as well as being with his brother while he had missed, he never thought would miss in his entire life and afterlife.

…

It has been years since Tim had disappeared from the lives of the Wayne family and everything had gone downhill. Conner along with Cassie had flown from Metropolis and yelled at them for not being a good family to Tim. Bruce, Dick, Jason, and Damian are all silent and take the yells of anger silently as guilt in them keeps whispering to them about how they should have done better.

They held a funeral, an empty casket, filled with minuscule things of Tim had loved like his old hobby of photography that also held the pictures that he had taken. They held his old uniform as both Robin and Red Robin in the cave protected by the bullet, fire, water, and explosion-proof glass.

Bruce told himself that Tim was and never had been a replacement for Jason.

Dick regrated on not knowing Tim enough, and that he failed another brother of his.

Jason who too late saw Tim as a little brother who indulged his hobbies f reading works of literature that no one in his family found interesting enough to sit down and listen to.

Damian saw Tim another older brother who was there to relate to him during his time in the League. Share his stories about when he trained under Lady Shiva, as well as being his predecessor.

…

It is Tim’s 6th year anniversary of death when the boys had planned on going to a café that Tim frequently with. Their guilt did not disappear but grew with each passing day, the Batman as well the rest of his partners became more aggressive in handling crimes to the point even the rogues had been scared of facing them and would rather stay in Arkham, their last victim aka the Joker was beaten to near death by the Batman who had preached in not ending the Joker even though he had stuck out for the man when Red Hood had his hands on the Joker.

It was bright as Gotham could get and they could feel that the sun is mocking them about their brother’s death.

As they were sitting in one of the café’s booths as they saw a young man looking exactly like Tim. All eyes widened but looking at the stranger with more attention they saw a few details that Tim didn’t have.

Like faint freckles that were across the man’s face as well as the way, the young man’s hair is styled.

Carrying a large tray that holds two large coffees and a plate of assorted treats and pastries the stranger went to both a bit far yet they can still stay visual on the man.

What greeted them was not what they were expecting, on the supposed booth they saw a tall and healthy Tim on his phone, dressed in the simplest yet warm clothing they ever saw their brother in, the moment Tim saw his supposed look alike, helped him to take the large coffees off the tray and proceeded to chat as if they were old friends.

At that moment they didn’t care if the stranger look alike or the look in Tim’s eyes that screams fondness and joy towards this stranger, they only have one thing on their mind and that is their brother.

Tim!

…

PS: If someone out there wants to continue or make a fic about this you are free to do so don’t forget to tag me though.

#dc #dc x dp prompt #dc x dp #dp #Timothy Drake #Danny Phantom #danny fenton #ghost king danny #batman

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holylulusworld · 6 months ago

Text

Aahp (5) - Payback is a bitch

Summary: You end up being a pawn.

Pairing: Mobster!Andy Barber x fem!Reader, Mobster!Nick Fowler x fem!Reader, Mobster!Steve Rogers x fem!Reader, Mobster!Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader

Warnings: angst, mentions of character’s death, mafia business

A/N: It's been quite a while...huh....

Angel and her protectors masterlist

Part 4

“What are we going to do now?”

The question hangs like a sword of Damocles over their heads. Ready to destroy everything they built over the years.

Fury will have their backs. But will their power and influence be enough to beat Ransom Drysdale, Alexander Pierce, and their lapdogs? You never know in their line of business.

“What not?” Bucky repeats his question. “If Pierce wants another war, we are fucked. We’re not prepared for a war.”

“You are not prepared,” Andy tuts.

Bucky snarls at Andy. “What do you mean?”

“While you and your brother were out there, playing hide the salami with as many girls you could find, Steve and I made sure our empire would remain.”

“Hide the…” Bucky snorts. “You know, for a man your age you sound like a gramps sometimes. Stop with your uptight crap. Man, we like to fuck. That’s not a crime.”

“It is, if you ignore your duties,” Andy is ready for a fight. He’s done being the responsible one all the time. “I’m not your dad, you know. I won’t do shit for you all the damn time.”

“You sure sound like my dad,” you yawn while walking inside the living room. While you rub your tired eyes and stretch your body, all eyes are suddenly on you. The shirt Nick gave you rid up, exposing more skin than intended. “He loves to talk about responsibilities and stuff too.”

Andy looks offended at your words. He furrows his brows and puts his hands on his hips. “I’m not that old! Even if I sound like your dad, I’m not like him.”

“I know,” you hastily say, not wanting to anger one of the men keeping you safe…or hostage. You still don’t know if you can trust them. “My dad doesn’t wear a beard nor a gun.”

“That's not a gun. Andy's just happy to see you,” Nick throws in, making all of you laugh. “Andy’s just too shy to admit that he likes a pretty girl like you.”

“Fowler,” Andy grits his teeth. “This is not the time for bad jokes and childish behavior. We are close to a war with not only Drysdale but Piece too. Get a hold of yourself and stop flirting with that girl!”

“What if you'd just let me go?” You murmur, afraid to cause more trouble. “If Ransom is made because you keep me here, we can solve the problem that way. Right?”

“He’s not mad because you are here, Pookie,” Nick gently cups your face. “He’s an asshole first grade. Your ex-fiancé killed his grandfather and took over his business. Now he’s mad with power.”

“Oh—” you hum. “I forgot for a moment that I mean nothing to Ransom.” You give Nick a cracked smile. “What do you want to do with me now?”

“My sweet pookie will stay with me,” Nick declares before anyone else in the room can answer. “I won’t let that bastard hurt you, Y/N.” He whispers your name.

Andy rolls his eyes. Of course, Nick had to take the chance to hit on you again. “Nick, can you just not? We have urgent things to discuss. You can get your dick wet later.”

“ANDY!” Steve, Bucky, and Nick hiss in unison. “Can you just not ruin any chance we have with Y/N?”

You feel a little lightheaded when the three of them look at you. Uh-oh. They meant what they said. “I-I kind of feel flattered, really…but…uh…I don’t think I can handle four guys. One was already too much to handle.”

Bucky smirks at his brother. “Did you hear, she wants all of us? I knew she was a wildcat and a dirty girl.”

“That’s not what I said,” you sigh. It feels like they don’t even listen to you. Bucky and Steve smirk while Nick possessively wraps his arm around your shoulders.

Andy on the other hand tries to ignore the pull toward you and to on the upcoming war he tries to prevent from happening. “We should focus on Piece and Drysdale. What are we going to do about their bond?”

“Distrust,” you throw in to get their attention. All eyes are back on you. “You said they want to form a bond and work together. If they do not trust each other, you can use that to your advantage.”

Steve nods thoughtfully. “That’s not the worst idea. Distrust is the poison ruining any relationship. We should try to break their partnership before it can bloom.”

“Can I go then? If Ransom is not interested in me any longer, you have no reason to keep me here. Please just let me go.”

“Pookie,” Nick presses a soft kiss to your temple, “Ransom believes you are with us now. He’ll hurt you only to get to us. We cannot let go. It’s for your own safety to stay with us.”

“Yes or no. Can you fake the footage for us, Jensen,” Andy grunts. “We need to trick these bastards. If Pierce believes Ransom tries to fuck him over, he will end up dead.”

“Let me work my magic. After I’m done with the footage you gave me, Alexander Piece will believe that Ransom tried to conspire against him.”

“Call our problem solver,” Andy raises his hand to stop Steve from talking back. “I know, I know. You don’t like Hansen but he’s reliable. I want him to fake an assassination attempt on Pierce.”

“I didn’t say a word,” Steve shrugs. “We reached the end of the rope. If we don’t want to fight on two frontiers, we must outsmart Drysdale and Pierce.”

Andy smirks. For once his brother gave in without a fight. “Jensen, I want you to open an offshore bank account and transfer money onto Hansen’s fake account. Make it obvious that Ransom transferred the money to pay the killer.”

“If we get rid of them, can I focus on winning my Pookie over?” Nick grins. “I know she wants me to take care of her. She’s too sweet to face this cold and cruel world on her own. I need to protect her.”

“We,” Andy corrects. “We all agreed on taking care of Y/N. She will stay with us. For now, we need to focus on taking Pierce and Drysdale down.

“Payback is a bitch,” Bucky smirks. “I can hardly wait to watch Drysdale fall. He deserves to end up in the gutter…”

Part 6

More tags in reblog.

Angel and her protectors

@missvelvetsstuff, @openup-yourmind

___

Steve Rogers/Chris Evans/all CEvans characters Tags

@sexyvixen7

@stylesismyhubs

@multisuperfandom

@mrspeacem1nusone

@fallenoutofrose

@denisemarieangelina

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@andydrysdalerogers

@esposadomd

@asunnylilac

@sultryfandoms

@minervadashwood

@somnorvos

___

Bucky Barnes/Sebastian Stan Tags

@marshyrebelcloud

@buchanan-lover

@rosalynshields

@jane-dough666-blog

@hinata7346

@sociallyantisocialbutterfly

@eclecticpatrolroadlawyer

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@evilunicorns4minions

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@hopeofwinter

@kandis-mom

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@esposadomd

@asunnylilac

@minervadashwood

@somnorvos

#bucky barnes #nick fowler #steve rogers #andy barber #mafia au #x reader

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daily-airimomoi-vitamins · 22 days ago

Text

[Oh my god]

[oh my. god.]

[Those photos]

[The photos on the ground. Who knows how long ago. The first time you came to the back]

[The names you didn't know you did]

[Those faces, filling you with painful nostalgia]

[Those people]

"Min...ori.."

[You choked on your own tears. Tears? nono why were you crying?? no no stop that]

"oh..ohh my god.."

[Those eyes]

[The pharmacist's eyes]

...

[your tears stopped]

You..remember, don't you?

[you were shaking]

[you coward]

[in an attempt to spare yourself, you've hurt the people who needed you the most]

[you selfish coward]

"y-you...h..her.."

I must say, I'm quite envious of you. Being able to remember your origins...where you came from..

[the pharmacist trailed her fingers along the bar table]

..why you're here.

...It was never meant to be like this. You were never meant to remember but you were and so was I and I don't know what I'm remembering but it hurts and..gaah...

..damnit this hurts.

[She covered her face with her hands, running her fingers and pulling through her hair]

[Her hands were shaking]

[...but you're a coward.]

[you can't do anything]

[....you're feet slowly stepped backwards towards the door, your breathing heavy.]

[you hadn't taken into account just how big things were. Because of you, you selfish prick.]

[Minori was dead. More More Jump could've stayed together, no..]

[you could be surrounded with the people you love]

[stop please I don't want to think about this right now stop stop stop]

[you left them]

[you wouldn't know love if it were standing right in front of you.]

[just...just out of reach. On the edge of death you let your love dance and still she it is gone.]

"You...k..kept me..here..? To...'help'..me? Y..you.."

[...you didn't have the guts to face her. Not anymore. The real you is gone. She's dead...gone. You killed her...]

[...You killed her when you met Atoji Higan. When you told her your name and she gave you a new one.]

[..When you considered the unthinkable and let her take your place.]

...Coward.

[huh?]

If you're gonna leave, do it. Run, like you always do. Don't be so caught up in this, so cowardly that you can't run, even if you wanted to.

[She approached you, eyes dim, narrowed]

You. You would rather stay here and die, wouldn't you? That's what got you into all of this in the first place. You wanted to stop your feelings, shy away from your responsibilities as an idol, as a friend.

[Her voice started to break, her finger pointing towards you]

You left them. You ruined everything. You couldn't even be a coward properly! You chose this life and you couldn't even keep it.

I-Its your fault, Peachy- No no fuck!

[The pharmacist grabbed at her hair, gritting her teeth, her arms practically shaking]

s-stop it shh..shut up..shhut up..fuckk gah-!!

..Y-...You ruined everything.

nono you didn't peachy, I'm sorry, please don't go

if you had just stayed.

please don't leave me

if you hadn't had been so.. selfish..!

I did this all for you, was this not enough?

then maybe you'd still have a chance to live! But nooo, you had to throw it away...how ungrateful are you!?

...you...you've done it..you've gotten what you wanted..

Are you happy now? Hm?

"I-I'm n-"

This took more out of everyone else then what it did for you.

In an attempt to rid yourself of a burden, you provided everyone around you with tenfold.

[Clap. Clap. Clap]

Congratulations.

[Clap. Clap. Clap.]

[The door was right there, why didn't you run?]

[...because you were scared.]

[what would you even do then..? After all this damage you've caused, wouldn't it be inappropriate for you to go back? It'd be better for you stay and hide here. For everyone, right?]

[What...what were you even planning to do, when you figured this all out? Who on earth were you planning to tell?]

[...you want to move on.]

....

[you need to move on]

[The door was right there.]

[Now that you've decided to be a coward, you only have two options left for yourself. You feel like you weren't even choosing for yourself. A puppet controlled by the hands you made for yourself...maybe it was you, the entire time...]

[The death of your personification of grief, should she be considered as once a living thing as well?]

[...her.]

[and yourself.]

[...so you did know how to fight, huh? Just in all the wrong ways.]

#unreality #lore #derealization #tw mentions of death #tw derealization #tw panic attack #?#arg #alternate reality game #pharmacist's notes #part 5 #okay I didn't expect needing a p6 but this is taking too long!!!#6 will be quick so #ughhhhh #i again don't like this

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deadnymph8 · 6 months ago

Text

AEGON II TARGARYEN X READER

content warnings⚠️ loss of virginity (for you), small age gap (3 years), slightly older women/younger man, p in v sex, aegon being a pervy loser, we love it though, small use of Y/N, chubby aegon, always drunk aegon, small bit of public groping, no protection

Notes: Posted originally to ao3 but I took it down and fixed it up a bit. Still this was like my first fanfiction in 7 years so be nice or I'll cry (also haven't used this app in like 8 years forgive me)

In you're teenage years you were the next door neighbor to one of the richest family's in westeros. You weren't necessarily born rich you only lived next door because you're mom ended up re marrying some rich CEO millionaire and swiftly moved in with him.

You're step dad was pretty close with the owner of the house next door Viserys targaryen and due to that you had become accustom to all his children.

You were older then all of them closest in age being the eldest boy aegon, he was three years younger than you but you were close enough in age to get along and become somewhat friends.

You assumed that was why alicent the mother of the children and Viserys's wife came to you and asked you to babysit her kids for a weekend. You were a trusted friend and while yes they could hire a nanny you were told the last one ended up quiting after only a month. newly turned 13 year old aegon broke into the wine cabinet and got plastered.

You didn't get details on the rest but you knew it must have been a bad night since they were struggling to find a new nanny who could stay longer than a month.

Alicents last resort was to ask someone she thought could connect better with the kids, mainly aegon since he was the biggest problem. She needed a strong role model and someone aegon was familiar with. after seeing how aegon behaved in you're presence she thought you to be the perfect candidate for the job and so you accepted.

"I don't need a babysitter I'm 13 for fucks sake!" Aegon argued to his mother as you stood behind her.

"You aren't responsible enough to be trusted alone and that's the last of it!" His mother yelled back. Looking clearly frustrated and exhausted as if she had done this a million times.

You stood to the side of alicent now already feeling uncomfortable. You'd probably be upset aswell if you were in aegon's shoes but alicent insisted she needed a good influence like you.

Aegon stormed off slamming the door of his room. "I'm sorry dear, he won't bother you I've made sure all alcohol is put away...all you need to do is keep him in the house" alicent spoke giving you the rundown on you're job. You took in everything she said, she told you that you wouldn't be completely alone.

They still had a housekeeper that would come in mornings and clean up and you didn't need to worry that much.

That night actually went pretty smooth. Aegon was grumpy and hid in his room most the night while you played with the younger kids on their xbox. Things actually went so well that alicent asked you to come back again.

It actually felt nice getting some of you're own money aswell and to be independent for once

Babysitting had become a regular occurrence for you for awhile. Alicent always praised you for just how well you did with aegon.

Eventually though you turned 18 and you got into college, not the one you wanted but it was only a few hours away and finally gave you a chance to escape you're house and live on you're own.

And how did aegon feel about this? He should feel happy, You were nothing more than a neighbor his mother hired to hover around him and keep him out of trouble. He resented you for that, he hated how pretty you were, how sweet you were to him.

He should be cheering knowing he would have some freedom but with you gone the only thing he felt was this overwhelming feeling of emptiness and loneliness.

He always found himself searching for you're praise. He'd actually get himself to do homework just so he could hear you talk about how proud you were of him.But now with you gone he didn't have a reason to try anymore and almost immediately he fell back into bad habits. Drinking, partying, drugs and sex. He did it all and no matter how much he did over the next three years he could never get rid of that aching empty feeling deep down.

When aegon turned 18 his mother began demanded he go to college. Demanded he make something of himself. He didn't bother trying with any of the big colleges he just found the closest one and decided that was good enough for him to keep his mom off his back. Even if he didn't get in with his grades he'd get in easy being as rich as he was. His father could just drop a generous donation and he'd get in with no problem at all. So when he arrived of course aegon joined the biggest frat on campus. The partys, the girls and the drugs. It all came so easy to him now.

When his frat decided to put on yet another rager he didn't think much of it. After three months here it was becoming his normal. He walked passed the group of drunk college kids, a drink in his hand as he wondered through the halls of the frat house probably long faded by now. originally his mind was set on getting wasted and maybe he'd bang a cheerleader if he was still able to stand.

He turned to the kitchen wanting to refill his cup when his eyes wondered on the back of a girl grabbing a soda off the counter. Something about her was so familiar but he couldn't see her face to find out why.

Mabey one of his many one night stands? or an old classmate oh his? She wasn't dressed like the other girls around. She was dressed casual, Wearing some jeans and a baggy sweatshirt. She definitely looked out of place compared to the small crop tops and short dresses most girls chose to wear.

He began taking a few steps closer. He didn't know why but he felt drawn in to her and when she finally turned around nothing could have fully prepared him for what he saw. You.

It was you. an uncomfortable and nearly sad look on you're face as you opened up your coke and took a drink, eyes wondering around the room full of dancing college kids until they fell on him. For a moment you both just stared at each other, neither really knowing what to say.

"Egg? What are you doing here?" You finally asked breaking the small awkward silence that fell between you both.

That stupid little nickname. Hearing it after so long made his heart race a bit. He always hated when you used to call him that but now hearing it again after so long he'd grown to miss it. Crave it even. Aegon didn't know why but a part of him almost felt embarrassed. Shame even. Her seeing him absolutely wasted after three years of not speaking.

"I'm uh- I'm in the frat" he responded and snapped himself back into reality. "and why are you here? I mean clearly you don't want to be" aegon swiftly added leaning against the kitchen counter in an attempt to go back to his normal self.

"was it really that obvious" you thought to yourself self. "My friend dragged me here...said I should let lose or whatever" you sighed. "And are you? Letting lose?" Aegon couldn't help but smirk at the idea.

He always had a weird fascination with you. All those times you slept over and he'd sneak into your bag of packed clothes and steal you're little white lace panties.

All those times he'd jerk himself off into them imagining himself buried deep inside of you're soaked cunt. All those times he'd spy on you changing through the crack in the bathroom door.

All those dirty dirty memories rushing back to him all at once.

"Absolutely not" The truth was you never cared for partys, you stuck to you're studys and kept to yourself. If it wasn't for you're best friend Tina you'd never consider coming to a place like this on a sunday night before class. You haven't even dated anyone before. You went on a couple dates but ultimately you decided love had no place for you right now.

You needed to focus on you're studys not a relationship

"So...why haven't you left? If you hate it here why not just go home and watch those hot vampire movies you love so much" Aegon always did love teasing you on you're intrests.

It used to annoy you to no ends. "My friend is my ride and she's...busy" you sighed again remembering how you're friend Tina decide to completely ditch you to go off with some guy Leaving you to try and waste time as you waited for her to get done with her boy toy and take you back to you're dorm were you could sleep off the day and this party.

"Why not walk? The dorms aren't far from here?" He asked making you laugh slightly "Walking alone as a woman at night isn't the safest idea eggs" you had pepper spray yes but you really didn't want to risk any trouble especially with a bunch of drunk frat boys all over.

"Why don't I walk you? I need some fresh air anyway" aegon knew he wanted to talk to you, he knew he couldn't let you walk away so easily and now he finally had his excuse. He had spent the past three years missing you're presence and he wouldn't waste the opportunity to get it back.

You took a second to agree but as you looked around at the room of drunk people dancing and making you you knew what you're awnser would be

"Sounds good to me get me out of here" you smiled at him. Gods how he missed that smile. You followed him out of the frat house feeling a sense of relief to be away from the crowd and the loud music blasting in you're ears.

"Soo how's college been?" Aegon hummed walking side by side with you. He looked so smug he always did but what did you really expect from a rich kid who got everything handed to him.

You almost hated how attractive it was. Before you never thought of him of like that but seeing him now, grown. It was like something just broke inside you. It couldn't be attraction? Right?

"It's been fine I guess just a bunch of the same for me, studying and learning and more studying" you rolled you're eyes already feeling exhausted just thinking about it.

"So no boyfriend I'm assuming?" Aegon's smile grew wider. You couldn't tell if he was teasing you or mocking you but either way you rolled you're eyes and refused to give him a response.

He laughed seeing you go quiet "I knew it" he crossed his arms acrossed his chest making frown in annoyance.

"You don't need to rub it in eggs" you sighed as the two of you approached campus and walked up to the dormitories.

"I'm not rubbing in I'm actually glad you're single makes things easier for me" he hummed almost immediately his words made you tense up.

"Excuse me?" you tried to act calm seeing as you couldn't tell if he was being serious or if it was just another one of his many games.

You remembered aegon was always a bit of a flirt even a creep at times with the few times you had caught his eyes wondering to you're chest or hips.

You told yourself he was just a horny teenager and it didn't mean anything.

"Come on Y/N I know you heard me" he said back as you both walked down the hall of the dorms stopping as you reached you're door.

"What are you trying to do here" You finally asked but in response aegon only smirked at you

"you're a smart girl Y/N don't act clueless with me" Before you could speak aegon stepped closer and backed you into you're door frame making a small gasp slip from you're lips.

You told yourself it was the alcohol or whatever drug he could be on that was making him this bold but the way he looked at you let you knew just how serious he really was.

"Do you even know how much I've missed you these past three years how much I have yearned for you" aegon whispered his hands now wondering to you're waist while his head moved to you're neck planting small kisses on you're skin.

"Aegon-" you whined, hands resting on his chest as if you were about to push him away but you couldn't get yourself to do it.

"Ive probably jerked myself off thinking of you more times than i can count" Aegon's hands began wondering up you're sweatshirt to you're than waist to you're breasts, groping you right in the middle of the hallway.

"We shouldn't do this" You gulped before reaching you're hand to the handle of you're door and twisting it open "Not here" Aegon kept his grip on you while you pulled him into you're dorm hoping it was late enough and no one you knew would have seen what just happened.

Now that you were all alone aegon didn't hesitate to pull you close and slam his lips against yours. It didn't take long for both of you to fall ontop of you're bed while he climbed on top of you, hands wondering up you're hoodie to grope you once again.

You took it upon yourself to pull away from the kiss and yank you're hoodie off you're head.

"You're fucking stunning always have been" he whispered before his hands moved to try unclip the straps of you're bra and pull it off you revealing you're bare breasts to him.

He stared almost in a trance, he wasn't going to lie. he had definitely seen your boobs before during the many times he'd spy on you change but having them up close was something completely different.

His hands moved to play with your nipples making a small moan slip from your lips, he smiled in response pleased with himself.

"I knew you'd be sensitive" before you could say anything he latched onto one of your breasts and began to softly nibble at your soft flesh making you squirm underneath him.

"I uh- I should tell you something" you quickly cut him off making him look up and turn his head up at you.

"I've never done anything like this before" You finally spat it out making his smile only grow more.

Not only was he getting to sleep with the girl of his dreams but he got the pleasure of being her very first. "You're still a virgin?" He questioned and you simply nodding back shyly.

"That's ok don't worry I'll make it good for you" he leaned in and kissed your cheek before discarding his own shirt to the side.

Aegon wasn't the most well built, he didn't have abs in fact he actually had a small bit of a tummy on him. You didn't mind of course, you found every inch of him to be perfect.

You moved your hands to the buttons of your jeans and began pulling them down a delighted look on Aegon's face as he did the same to himself. Before long you were both in your underwear, aegon kissing down your neck leaving small marks as he went along. "People will see those" you whined.

"That's the plan doll" his hands wondering up you're thighs to the waistband of your panties tugging at them before he slipped a finger inside and began running his finger along you're slit.

"You're so wet" aegon whispered in your ear before slipping a finger inside of you.

You whimpered a bit as he began slowly moving his finger in and out of you and once he felt you were ready he added in a second, thrusting his fingers deep inside you're tight wet cunt.

"Aegon please" you moaned his name Sounding like a angel to him, an angel he could not wait to corrupt.

You arched your back feeling his fingers hit a sensitive spot inside you. "Gonna cum for me baby? You can do it be a good girl and spill yourself on my hand"

You nodded in response the feeling of your peak rising quicker and quicker. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders hiding your head in his chest as you came moaning out against him.

You panted softly coming down from your high as he pulled his fingers back and yanked off your panties finally. Next he pulled down his own boxers revealing his leaking throbbing cock.

"I don't think I've ever been this hard" he gasped as he began slightly stroking himself spreading his precum to lube up his cock. you were a bit worried seeing his size, he definitely was bigger than you expected.

Aegon grabbed your legs opening them up before lining himself up with your slit.

"Be gentle please" you asked making him plant a soft kiss on your lips. "Tell me if it hurts" he replied before he began pushing the tip of his cock inside earning a small gasp from you.

He pushed inside inch by inch until he was fully inside, bottoming out on top you as small moans of his own slipped out. "So good baby- so tight so perfect" he panted a bit feeling you squeeze tight around him.

"So big" you whined as aegon kissed down your neck again, in an attempt to Soothe you're discomfort.

He couldn't remember a time he'd ever been so caring and affectionate with a girl, no that was just you. You did something to him. Something that he just couldn't understand. An overwhelming need to protect you and keep you close

He made sure to wait a minute before beginning to thrust himself, moving his hand to play with your clit in another attempt to help take away your pain. You clung onto him as he picked pace, getting faster and faster.

He knew he said he'd be gentle but you were so damn irresistible he couldn't stop his instincts to just ravage you like a dog in heat. Soon the pain left little by little and it was replaced with pleasure.

The mixed sounds of both of your whimpers and moans filling your dorm room. "So beautiful baby" aegon whispered between his small pants and moans in you're ear "Everything I've always dreamed of- fuck- I need you I need you" his hands grabbed your hips slamming you further down onto him.

"I want you so bad- be mine please baby say you'll be mine" he was a mess he knew he was but so were you. "I'm yours aegon im all yours-" you quickly choked out. The Small tears in you're eyes driving him crazy.

Those words alone were all aegon needed to finally reach his peak, being so caught up in the moment he hadn't even bothered to ask if you were on the pill before spilling every drop of his seed deep inside of you. He continued to hold you a part of him worried if he let go you'd leave again.

"All mine" he kissed your cheek softly still attempting to catch his breath "all yours" you smiled at him, That same smile that he had loved for years now, the same smile he promised he'd never let go of again

#aegon targaryen x reader #aegon ii targaryen #aegon ii x reader #aegon ii targaryen x reader #aegon targaryen x you #aegon targaryen ii

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natashasnoodle · 2 years ago

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I'm Tired | Natasha Romanoff x Female Reader

Masterlist | N.R Masterlist

Words: 4.2k

Summary: Your roommate is one annoying individual and you haven't managed to sleep in months. After reaching the end of your tether you have been reduced to taking the next resort, bunking with a stranger. College AU.

✧:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧

Most nights you had been getting a severe lack of sleep, which wasn't great when you had to wake up for your 8 am lectures. Your roommate Wanda was an absolute sweetheart, the only issue was her new boyfriend, Vision. Before Vision entered the scene, the two of you would study together, watch a movie, and fall asleep at midnight or before. Like the responsible students that you were.

Though ever since Vision, they're up until the early hours of the morning cuddling and chatting whilst watching TV shows. Granted, the main light was always off as a common courtesy to you, but their voices and blaring light from the laptop kept you awake until they got tired and turned it off. Much to your dismay, this rarely occurred before 2 am.

You just weren't confrontational and she seemed so happy, so you didn't have the heart to tell them that they were being the most annoying people in your life currently, and the bar was low. You knew a lot of annoying people.

Another thing that annoyed you is that even without makeup, Wanda would still look stunning waking up every morning after 4 hours of sleep every day. You had to slap on some concealer so that you didn't look like the demon panda from hell. Oh, how you envied people who won the genetic lottery in terms of eye bags and dark circles.

The current night was a particularly bad one. They had started binge-watching "Sweet Tooth" on Netflix, and instead of doing a couple of episodes a night like they normally would do to finish up 'early', they kept watching and watching until they had finished the whole thing. You had been drifting in and out of sleep for hours, but when a new noise blasted from the laptop, your eyes would fly open.

When it was time to wake up and get ready after only getting an hour of uninterrupted sleep you felt all kinds of nauseous and lightheaded, but you were determined to get to class. You rushed into your shared bathroom before Wanda could get a chance to use the shower, and quickly scrubbed at your teeth and tried to style your hair, though your blurry eyes meant that your hands were not cooperating.

After giving up with just throwing it up with a hair tie, you tried your hardest to hide the dark circles that were painfully obvious under your eyes, though no amount of makeup was enough to hide the damage that was done to your skin last night. Once you deemed yourself somewhat respectable, you moved out of the bathroom to throw on whatever clothes appeared in your wardrobe first and left with a granola bar in hand.

You let your feet carry you on autopilot and somehow ended up on the right part of campus. Without even spotting your friends, you were about to walk straight past them, but luckily they noticed you in your zombie-like trance and grabbed ahold of you, pushing you onto your normal space on the bench that you had claimed. Shuri and Kate gave each other concerned glances as they looked at your out-of-it state, before Kate waved a hand in front of your face, snapping you back into reality.

"Hm?", you spoke before yawning and stretching. "How long were you out last night, and why didn't you invite us?", Shuri gave you a playful shove, which you just groaned at, the rattling movement of your head sending a sharp pain through your skull.

"Jeez, seriously what happened to you?", Kate tried, taking the more cautious approach than Shuri, treating you like a deer in headlights as her eyes flashed with worry. "Wanda", you spoke again between a yawn, and the pair beside you rolled their eyes. They knew all about how you had rarely been getting any sleep and kept trying to convince you to tell her to have a 'no sounds past midnight' rule, but you always ignored them. Again, you didn't have a single confrontational bone in your body.

There wasn't much time for them to be able to lecture you though, as you all had to go to your actual lecture, so they linked arms with you and led you over to your first class of the day, which you promptly fell asleep in. Kate had to keep pinching your thigh to keep you awake so that you didn't feel the wrath of Agatha, your ancient culture studies professor.

This was a continuous theme throughout the day, though towards the end of it Shuri had to resort to stomping on your foot with all of her might with the shoes she made that makes no sound. Unfortunately, you were capable of making sound, so you had to hold in your yelps of pain as your foot thumped angrily with the constant disturbance to its peace.

Luckily, you made it through the day and the two walked you back to your dorm, and tucked you in, making sure that you stayed in bed as you had spent the entire walk home babbling about the work you had to catch up on. Though that was important, your two friends knew that you were in desperate need of sleep first. At least a nap.

They left your room content with you getting some well-needed rest, hoping to see you in better spirits tomorrow. You instantly drifted off into a deep slumber, your body basically shutting down from exhaustion. But you only got three hours of sleep before the couple from the depths of Tartarus came bounding through the door. Wanda winced as she spotted your sleepy form stretching under the covers, then sitting up as you rubbed your eyes.

You squinted at them from across the room, your eyes still blurry from the gorgeous sleep that you were rudely ripped away from. "Sorry", she grimaced before chuckling playfully, "It's 5 though! Wake up lazy guts", she walked over and patted where your knees were under the cover before moving over to her bed, Vision following as they got out some of their class resources to start working from.

Immediately you wanted to scream into a pillow, though you didn't want the embarrassment that would come with that, so you begrudgingly reached for your laptop and began completing some worksheets that had been assigned to your class. Your eyes were comically wide as you tried to stare at the screen, urging your brain cells to do something.

They came through after an hour of working on a sheet that should have taken ten minutes, but you counted it as an absolute win and got up to make yourself some noodles. Having only eaten a granola bar and a packet of crisps that day, you practically inhaled the bowl too before settling back down into bed again, curled up into a ball.

Grateful for Vision and Wanda doing some studying, you tried to fall back asleep with the quiet atmosphere, but just as your eyes started drooping, you heard the dreaded theme tune of one of her sitcoms, and the chuckles that came alongside it. Sleep was not going to be a luxury that you could afford any time soon.

Hours passed and you felt like crying. Your body was screaming at you to get some sleep, but the laptop speakers across the room from you were shutting that idea down. Your head was pounding, your mouth was dry and your hands were tingling. Months of minimal sleep were fully starting to catch up to you, and it was not healthy.

At some point during the night, at about 3 am, your mind snapped. You needed to get out of that room, you would sleep in the hallway if you had to. So, you grabbed your comfortable, fluffy blanket from the bottom of your bed and wrapped it around your shoulders, clinging onto it for dear life at the front. "I'm just gonna get some air", you announced to a confused Wanda who frowned but nodded in acceptance. She had thought that you were asleep.

You stepped foot outside of your room, and immediately a draft from the air vents hit you, making you very aware that you were just in your pyjamas. Looking around the dark hallway a little helplessly, you were preparing to sit on the floor and sleep against the wall. It was better than having to sleep in there.

But just before you were about to sit you spotted some light streaming out from underneath the cracks of a door at the other end of the long hallway. So, you started your journey towards it. Like a moth drawn to a flame.

When you reached the door you hesitated with your fist in the air, ready to knock. But when another cold draft hit you, your hand instinctually knocked lightly, conscious of others nearby who were most likely sleeping. You heard some shuffling from behind the door, and you immediately felt nervous. It had only just dawned on you that you had knocked on some stranger's door at three in the morning. They may have even been sleeping but accidentally left the light on, the light was not a valid indicator that this person was awake, though you were proved wrong when the person opened the door fully clothed. Unless they are some weirdo who sleeps in jeans.

When you made eye contact with the woman behind the door you were immediately taken away by her stunning green eyes and her red hair. But you swallowed thickly and stumbled out your next line of words as she looked at you expectedly, confused at why you were at her door at this ungodly hour. "Sorry for disturbing you so late- or early I guess. My roommate always has her partner over and they always watch shit until like 4 am and I haven't slept in months", you sighed.

The harsh stare of the redhead soon turned soft as she took note of how your eyes didn't seem to be able to focus on one thing and how bloodshot they were. It looked painful. "You knocked on the right door", she spoke without smiling but her tone was kind, which confused your sleep-deprived self very much, "I live alone, my roommate lives with her girlfriend now, so you can take the spare bed for the night if you want", she offered with a shrug.

Your eyes lit up which made the corner of her lips twitch up ever so slightly, not that it was noticed by you, you were too busy practically drooling over the fact that there was an empty bed in the vicinity with your name on it. "Thank you, thank you, thank you", you rushed out and she moved out of the way to let you in, gesturing over to the bed in the corner of the room.

Her laptop was open on a PowerPoint presentation and her notebook was open in front of it, so you guessed that she had been doing some late-night studying, but she quickly shut her laptop and packed her notebook away whilst you clambered into bed and wrapped the duvet around yourself. She could see how much you needed the sleep, and she could finish off the final part of her notes on her lunch break tomorrow.

Even with the light on, you had immediately fallen asleep. The fact that it was a quiet room was enough for your brain to drift off, and now that you couldn't see her, she smiled softly at your now relaxed features and quickly went into her bathroom to get into her own pyjamas, before turning the light off and slipping into her own bed.

You slept like a baby for the remainder of that night and woke up feeling ever so slightly more refreshed than you had done for a while. Due to having none of your things in her room, you had to bid her farewell fairly early in the morning so that the two of you could get ready for your respective classes. Though you found out that her name was Natasha, and she insisted that it was no problem that you stayed over when you started apologising as soon as you were both awake.

The newfound energy that you had did not go unnoticed by your friends who were happy to see that you weren't on the verge of collapsing. Though the energy did not last long at all. The next month was worse than the last, and you truly did not know how Wanda and Vision were not dead. You felt like a walking corpse every day, and you had been tempted many times to go to Natasha again and again, but you didn't want to disturb her too much, so only settled for when you were truly desperate.

She had insisted that you hadn't been bothering her, but you didn't know if she was just being polite, so you still kept the visits to a minimum. She was a nice person and you felt like you had connected with her on your last few visits, indulging in some conversation before going to sleep. She had been a very closed-off person when you first met her, but now she would freely talk to you and would look very happy to see you.

You had promised yourself not to visit Natasha at 3 am again for a few more days as your last visit had been rather recent, but you had reached a breaking point and you needed her. Tears pooled in your eyes as Wanda and Vision started watching "Kimmy Schmidt" at 2 am. You were so tired.

You felt sick constantly these days, and you knew that you couldn't go on much longer with the amount of disturbed sleep that you were getting. So, again you stood up with your blanket and announced that you were going to get some air. You shuffled over to Natasha's room and saw that the light was still on, causing a smile to break out on your face for a second, but then the exhaustion overpowered you again as some of those tears started rolling down your cheeks.

She answered quickly after you had knocked, and this time she answered in her pyjamas, almost as if she was expecting you at some point over the next few days. She went to give you a hello and a smile, but when her eyes took in your appearance she was shocked.

The last time you had seen her you had looked tired sure, but this time you really did look unwell. She took notice of the tears streaming down your face, how puffy your under eye was, how dry your lips were, and you were shivering under your blanket. "I'm sorry", you whimpered as a sob escaped your lips, "I'm just so tired".

"Oh, honey", she said soothingly and tugged you into her room, shutting the door and wrapping her arms around you after. You clung on for dear life as you cried into her shoulder, though she didn't mind. She rocked you from side to side and rubbed your back reassuringly. Whilst you were standing by the door she took the opportunity to turn the light off, the darkness immediately soothing your sore eyes.

Your cries subsided after a few minutes of standing in the darkness, which Natasha was happy about. She hated seeing you upset. Though you had come into her life in an unusual way, she couldn't imagine hers without you now, and it was rare for Natasha to feel a connection to someone so soon. She had even planned on asking you out the next night that she saw you, but now her main focus was on calming you down for the night. Luckily, it was a Friday night so she didn't have to wake you up in the morning for class.

You were basically already falling asleep in her arms, which she could tell as you had started getting heavier in her hold. Swiftly and with ease, she looped an arm under one of your legs and lifted you up, your other leg wrapping around her waist without a single thought going into it. Being in Natasha's arms felt natural and safe.

Her heart melted at how much you trusted her whilst you were in such a vulnerable state, and with help of muscle memory, she navigated over to her bed in the dark and laid down with you still clinging to her, placing the duvet over the top of the both of you for warmth.

When she placed a kiss on the crown of your head and started to run her fingers through your hair, you hummed in contentment and pushed your head further into the crook of her neck. Only when she felt your breath even out did she fall asleep, knowing that you were okay. She would make sure that you were okay. Always.

-4 months later-

"Nat?", you shouted from your en suite bathroom out into your dorm room, though you got no response. With a sigh you yelled her name again, and yet again not a peep could be heard from your girlfriend. With a huff and narrowed eyes, you swivelled on the balls of your feet and looked towards the bathroom door expectedly, maybe Natasha had heard you and was about to walk into the room. However, your hopes did not come true.

Dramatically you ran a hand through your hair, "Tasha!", you yelled from your place, and immediately she popped her head around the corner with a disgruntled look. "Baby you know I hate that nickname", she pouted slightly with an amused glint in her eyes, causing you to laugh. In front of everyone else, Natasha was a closed book, she never wanted anyone to know what she was feeling. 'Showing emotions shows people you're vulnerable', she would always say whenever you brought it up. But with you, she never hid how she felt away.

The fact that she felt safe enough to be herself around you always made a warm feeling spread through your chest whenever you were reminded of it, such as now. The pet names and funny faces were a quick reminder that this was your Natasha. Or, 'your Tasha' as you liked to tease her. "I know but you weren't responding to your normal name!", you exasperated, it wasn't your fault that you had to resort to other measures to get her attention.

"Oh... sorry", Nat frowned, "I was just closing up one of your boxes and got distracted I guess", she shrugged, though the sudden change in demeanour jolted you. Due to you getting zero hours of sleep with Wanda and Vision continuing their usual antics, when you started dating Nat you basically spent all of your time in her room thanks to the spare bed. After four months of dating, she started to get sick of you having to leave and spend your time in between both rooms, so she suggested that you officially transfer dorms and move into her room.

It was a big step, but since you had basically been living there anyway it made sense for you to have all of your things in one place. Plus, you and Natasha were excited to be able to spend even more time with each other, if that was possible. The two have you had been very excited in the leadup to the transfer, so her sudden change worried you. "Hey, are you okay?", you took a few steps forward to reach where she was leaning on the doorframe and ran a soft hand down her arm, leading to interlock your fingers.

Nat seemed to hesitate, but the way that your eyes shone with adoration and seemingly stared into her soul made her feel like she could say what was wrong. It was you. She was safe. "I know I'm not easy to love, I don't show my feelings the same way that others do- I don't know I guess I'm just worried that you're going to get sick of me".

Your heart broke at her insecurities shining through, and anger bubbled up aimed at whoever had made her feel like that. "Woah, who told you that you're hard to love?", you said with wide eyes, genuinely shocked. You received an answer in the form of her jaw tightening and swallowing harshly. She didn't want to talk about it.

Sending a soft smile her way, you shook your head, "You're so easy to love sweetheart, so easy, I love everything about you. I could never get sick of you, you're my person".

"You're my person too", she whispered as unshed tears lined her eyes, and she dipped her head down slightly, brushing her lips against yours before you took the next step and leaned in further, capturing hers. It was slow and intimate as your hands travelled up her back and hers resided on your waist, proving in totality how you feel for each other. How you get butterflies every time she walks into a room, how all air escaped her lungs the first time she heard your morning voice, how her touch made fireworks explode in your heart, and how your smile made her feel at home.

When a creaking noise could be heard in the main room, you two pulled away with soft smiles before she guided you out hand in hand, finding Wanda and Vision standing looking around the room, your half now empty aside from the cardboard boxes that were scattered about the space. Even after everything you and Wanda were still good friends, you just couldn't share a space with her. She had always made sure that you were eating well, she invited you on impromptu trips out to coffee shops or ice cream parlours, and you would help each other with essay reviews. You couldn't ask for a better friend, she was just a shoddy roommate. Though the fact that you were moving out of the room made you feel nostalgic for time passed, and apparently she felt the same.

As she looked at your side of the room you spotted her bottom lip wobbling slightly and you felt your heart drop, "Oh, Wands", you cooed and engulfed her in a big bear hug. She chuckled tearily and squeezed you back, "Promise you'll still come and hang out?", she pleaded against your shoulder, and you nodded with an "Of course". When you pulled away from the hug you gave each other a small nod with a thousand hidden meanings. But the time had finally come for you to say goodbye to her. Just for now. After all, she was only a few doors down.

Whilst you and Wanda said your final goodbyes, Natasha and Vision worked together on moving the boxes over to your now shared room. You felt guilty for not helping with the heavy work, but Natasha kept reassuring you that it was okay and that it was more important for you to be able to say goodbye. You grinned at her being so understanding as you made your way over to your new room. The afternoon and evening was spent unpacking all of your things, eating pizza, and listening to the 'Do Revenge' Spotify playlist. The last one was self-explanatory, it's a great soundtrack.

When everything was unpacked and the two of you looked at your handiwork, you felt a great sense of joy overcome you. You were sharing a home, albeit a small college dorm, but still a home, with the person that made you feel the safest in the world. You were beyond ecstatic. Though this feeling soon plummeted when you saw Nat frowning at your side and tutting. "This won't do", she sighed and released her grip that was around your waist.

At first, you had thought that maybe she had suddenly changed her mind, which would be shitty considering you had just unpacked all of your stuff, but when she began awkwardly shuffling your bed across the room, a grin spread across your face again.

Her chest heaved when she had accomplished her task, and she joined you at your side again, snaking her hand back around your waist. She had pushed the beds together, making your heart swell for the hundredth time that day. "We will need new bedsheets to fit as it's now a double, but whaddya think?", she questioned and nervously chewed on her lip.

"It's perfect", you breathed out and looked at Natasha with heart eyes before jumping on the bed in a starfish position with a giggle, an amused Nat rolling her eyes behind you. You lay in peace for a few seconds, before a grunt escaped your lips as a certain redhead landed on top of you, your face now smushed into the pillows.

Before you could complain, she wrapped her arms around you and rolled over, her back on the mattress and yours on her front. "Are we just gonna lie like this?", you spoke with a blank face, it was a rather awkward position. But when Nat replied with a chirpy "Yep!", and squeezed you tighter, her face nuzzling into the back of your neck, you couldn't help but smile. You never wanted her to let you go.

✧:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧

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#natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff imagine #natasha romanov #natasha romanoff #natasha x reader #natasha romanoff fluff #natasha romanoff x you #natasha romanoff x female reader #natasha romanoff x fem reader #natasha romanoff college au #black widow

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highqueenofelfhame · 2 years ago

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rowaelin // 5.3k words // ciwyw mastlist // playlist // masterlist

It had been a frustrating day to begin with. After failing to sleep for more than a collective two hours the night before, Rowan had tried to carry on with his day like he would any other Sunday. The conversation with Aelin, and more importantly her response, pounding with every slap of his shoes against the treadmill. Not even a full leg-day workout could dispel the dreadful, anxious energy brewing at the forefront of his mind.

Lorcan had showed up at the house early in the afternoon and chewed his ass out for the red card. He was fully in Team Captain mode for the full lecture, barely letting Rowan get a word in edgewise. At some point he gave up on defending himself and let Lorcan get his rant out. Once he was finished, he’d flopped onto Rowan’s couch and gestured vaguely with his hands.

“Alright. Your turn. Talk about it.”

“I already told you I was sor–” He’d started, hands bracing his knees as he debated groveling on his knees for Lorcan to let up. It had been a long enough weekend and he couldn’t handle another half hour. Sure, he deserved being called a stupid, selfish bastard, but he was tired. There wasn’t much left for him to say other than he was sorry, and he’d already done that multiple times.

“I’m not talking about the match. The girl. Something’s bothering you, so talk. The other idiots aren’t here to give you shit about it.” The man had a point. Without everyone else there to make subtle digs, it was easier for him to nod his head and dive headfirst into the clusterfuck of a situation he was in with Aelin.

To his credit, Lorcan listened to every word until it was all laying before them like a jigsaw puzzle. The pieces were hard to put together because there were about a million of them, all tiny, and several of them were missing entirely. Rowan couldn’t find the corners and didn’t know which way was up or down. Lorcan listened anyway. The migraine that had been coming on for the last few hours hit in full force when Lorcan compared it all to a fucking onion.

“Give her space. Give her time. The shit with Lyria is a lot to unpack on its own. Add into it that you’ve found yourself in a similar, however different, situation with Aelin… it would be a lot for anyone. It’s an onion, mate. Shit has fucking layers to it.” Rowan had given him a flat look that caused Lorcan to raise his hands in front of his chest. “I’m just saying. Might also be a lesson to check the expirations on those rubbers before you use them, too. Twice in one lifetime? You are one unlucky bastard.”

“You’re not helping,” Rowan glowered, eyes narrowed into little slits. Even if it was good advice, it didn’t do him a lick of good at this point. So much for not getting any shit about this.

“What brand did you use? I need to avoid those fuckers like the plague.”

“Lorcan,” Rowan sighed exasperatedly, all ten fingers raking through his hair until it was a mess of tangles.

“Just give her the space she asked for, Ro. She told you what to do. So do it.”

“It’s hard to give her space when I just want to be with her all the time,” he finally admitted, slumping back against the sofa. The position did nothing to help the throbbing in his head, but he didn’t move.

“I really need to meet this woman if she has you, of all people, wound so tight you look like you’re about to explode,” Lorcan said with the shake of his head. “Do you think she’s worth all the trouble?”

Rowan didn’t have to think about it. The answer was a huge, resounding yes. She was worth fighting for. He said as much and Lorcan nodded, eyes focused on the empty fireplace.

“For what it’s worth… I’ve never seen you as happy as you are when you talk about her. Don’t get me wrong, until she cuts you a break and gives you a real chance, she’s on my shit-list. But she makes you happy. I’ve never seen you this way about a woman and I think… I think she pulls out the best parts of you.” Lorcan’s confession made Rowan’s chest feel a little tight. “Except for when she’s the reason you’re so pissed off you get carded.”

They had both shared a quiet laugh at that, then spent the rest of the evening sipping beer and watching the major sports channels for highlights of the other games that happened over the weekend.

Hours later, Rowan truly was about to explode. Sleep was already hard to find despite scouring every drawer and pocket in his brain. When his phone pinged, hope had swelled that it was Aelin. As much as he loved to see her smiling face lighting up his phone, it was not what he had in mind.

Rowan Whitethorn liked to think of himself as a man with self control and reason. Amongst his teammates he was known for being level-headed, someone that thought things through and didn’t jump the gun. To his core, he always had been those things– until he met Aelin Galathynius, and he was unraveling quicker than a dropped spool of thread.

You know, the one that rolled under the bed and there was no hope of getting it back unless you kept pulling on the string. The spool would re-emerge from the shadows once the thread was in a mess of a knot at your feet and there was absolutely no hope of getting it wrapped back around its little home neatly. In fact, you might even scrap the whole thing and throw it in the garbage because the reward didn’t outweigh the tedious task at hand.

Rowan felt like that unraveled spool of thread as he stared at his phone screen at two in the morning, the simple plastic phone case groaning under the pressure of his white-knuckled grip. The edges of his vision were hazy because he hadn’t blinked a single time since he saw the picture that Fenrys sent him.

Mala fucking help him, he was going to murder his teammate. A brutal, bloody murder. Rowan had never been so sure that he was going to end up in fucking jail.

Aelin was radiant– something that had been missing from her the last time he saw her. The woman in the picture was exactly the woman that had ripped his heart from his chest before he even knew what was happening. The more muted version he’d had over the weekend still held his throbbing, bleeding heart. But the woman beaming in the photo was the one who stole it in the first place.

Her hair was down, the golden waves cascading over her shoulders and out of frame. With rose-kissed cheeks and plump, sensual lips spread wide in one of the smiles she used to give him, she was devastating. A little tipsy from his afternoon with Lorcan, Rowan had to physically restrain himself from tracing the shape of her mouth with his fingers. Gods, when did he become such a sap?

The first photo was just her. A tiny cocktail straw was between her teeth, eyes closed from the force of her smile. Her eyelashes seemed to graze the top of her cheeks they were so long. Because of the angle of the photo, taken from a lower, upturned angle, one of the golden lightbulbs gave her a halo. It was fitting, because she was a fucking angel.

>> She’s even more beautiful in person.

Rowan knew that. He was well aware of how fucking beautiful she was. But why did Fenrys know that? Why was he discovering the truth of it at two in the godsdamn morning?

>> What the fuck?

<< I mean, if you’re not going to, she should get it from somewhere. You haven’t had sex in her bed yet, have you?

>> Fenrys I swear to the fucking gods if you touch her I’m not responsible for what happens to your face.

The picture that followed made him want to throw his phone across the room and hope it shattered into a million pieces he couldn’t put back together. Someone across the table had taken it, probably Connall if he had to guess. Aelin’s arm was around Fenrys’s neck and they were cheek to cheek with matching smiles. Mischief was wild in Fen’s eyes while Aelin just looked… happy.

And then he noticed, just at the edge of the picture, how low on her hip his godsdamn hand was and he thought he was going to lose his mind. Yep. He was definitely going to be arrested for homicide in a few hours. The mugshot would be in every newspaper in the country, across the world, and he didn’t care.

>> She’s just wearing minty lip balm. My face will be nothing but hydrated and tasty.

<< You motherfucker

>> Well… not yet 😉

And then Fenrys stopped replying.

The self-control and level-headedness he had once prided himself in was nowhere to be seen. He tried to pull on the thread of his sanity, to tell himself it didn’t matter, that all of this was fine. Yet every time he looked back at the screen, every muscle and tendon in his body was so taught it felt as though one movement would have them all in ribbons.

Rowan hadn’t ever had a relationship where he felt the need to protect as much as he did with Aelin. Maybe it was partially because of the baby, but a roaring silence filled his head at the thought of her with another man, least of all Fenrys fucking Moonbeam. If Fenrys respected any kind of friendship code, he wouldn’t even act like he was thinking about toeing that line.

It felt stupid. They were barely dating and only knew the tip of the iceberg with each other. Still, there was something so different with her. For the first time in almost a decade, he had let his guard down. There were no mile high cement walls around his heart with nowhere to grasp to climb up and over. He was just Rowan, an unopened book with unexplored pages begging to be read.

It was highly unlikely that he was the only person that found himself inexplicably drawn to her. She was sweeter and more intoxicating than any drug, than any brand of alcohol money could buy. Aelin Galathynius had the energy of someone that you just wanted to taste once, because once she was gone you wouldn’t experience anything like her ever again. Coming so close to losing her, Rowan was keenly aware of that fact, and he wasn’t sure how he would ever move on if they didn’t really give themselves the chance to explore it. They were opposite ends of two very strong magnets. It was impossible that she didn’t feel that, too.

Rowan Whitethorn didn’t open up to just anybody. He didn’t let people in. Aelin wasn’t just a fluke. He was absolutely sure of it.

The thoughts wouldn’t stop chattering through his brain. Words flashed behind his closed eyelids a thousand miles a minute, leaving nothing but explosions of stars and colors where he tried to rub them away. Every time he looked at his phone, the desire to get in his car and drive to Aelin’s grew stronger and stronger. It was becoming an itch that he couldn’t he couldn’t ignore, and once the sun finally started to peek in through his blinds, he was rolling out of bed and nearly running to shower and change clothes.

By the time eight rolled around, he had forced a small bowl of cereal down his throat and downed what was probably too many cups of coffee. By eight-fifteen, Rowan was in his car and speeding toward the highway to Varese with something that belonged to Aelin sitting in his front seat.

~*~

Rowan felt… Well, he felt insane.

Not for the first time, he was asking himself what the fuck he was doing as he knocked on the door to Aelin’s apartment. At several red lights through the city, he debated going home. Halfway up the staircase, he had paused and gone down three steps, only to turn around and march right back up and to her door. The echoing of his fist on the wood had him hesitating once again, wondering if he should just get in his car and go home. He had no clue what he was doing here, besides just needing to see her and make sure that both she and the baby were okay, regardless of her late night activities.

That’s what he was telling himself, anyway.

In the ten agonizing seconds it took for him to head footsteps from inside her apartment, he almost turned and bolted. Rowan was well aware that he was being a territorial fool. Evidently there was no reasoning with that very stupid and very irrational part of his brain, even as the clicking and sliding of locks had him wondering how quickly he could make it down a flight of stairs without being caught.

“Oh,” came her surprised voice, wide eyes and raised brows to match. It was his very favorite version of Aelin that opened the door. All of her golden hair was in a messy knot on the top of her head, a few pieces framing her face. Much to his satisfaction, he realized she was wearing the shirt he’d told her she could keep a few days prior. A pair of little black shorts peeked out from the hem, and the long expanse of her bare legs had him almost forgetting why he was there in the first place. “What are you doing here?”

Her voice brought his eyes back to her face. There was no evidence of the makeup she’d had on the night before and though he could tell by looking at her that she was exhausted, he could also see that she had at least a few hours of good sleep. The skin around her eyes was a little puffy and a few lines were tattooed on her cheeks from her pillow or the blanket.

“Did I wake you up?”

“No, no. I’ve been awake for like half an hour. Just haven't gotten to dragging myself out of bed yet since I’m not going to the office today.” Right. It was Monday. In his hazy stupor, Rowan had entirely forgotten that she should have been going to work.

“Are you too sick today?” Rowan was immediately on edge, searching her face and body for any sign of what would keep her from working. There was no point– she was downright glowing today. A healthy blush heated her cheeks and he could almost make out the small smattering of freckles across her nose from where he stood across the threshold.

“No,” she said simply. “I feel really good today, actually. You didn’t answer me. What are you doing here, Rowan?”

“You forgot your toothbrush at my house,” he said lamely, patting at his pockets. Fuck. “It was purple? I left it in my car.”

“I did leave it at your house because that’s the one you bought for me to keep there.” There was laughter in her words as she spoke, like she was bringing up an inside joke they’d made. Mirth danced in her brilliant turquoise eyes despite her face contorting with confusion as she asked again, her tone softer this time, “What are you doing here, Rowan?”

What a loaded fucking question. He sure as hell didn’t know. How many times on the way here had he asked himself the same thing?

He didn’t have to answer it directly, though, because he realized her shower was running down the hall. Before he could stop himself he blurted, “Is that Fenrys?”

“Fen– what?” There was so much disbelief in her voice, but she started laughing. “You drove all the way up here to see if Fenrys spent the night with me?”

Rowan wasn’t sure if the laughter was a good thing or a bad thing. It was impossible to tell if she was laughing at him for being so stupid he thought he had any right to know about her private life when he wasn’t around, or if she was laughing because the idea was so stupid and he had nothing to be worried about. He was inclined to think it was the former, because even though Fenrys liked to rile him up, he didn’t know if he would push Rowan quite so hard.

“Hey, bub? You hungry?” A voice, one that was distinctly not Fenrys’s shouted from the bathroom. In that one, tiny pet name, Rowan’s entire heart sank through the floor. If he looked down, he was sure he would be standing in a puddle of his own blood. The world had gone very quiet, his fingers suddenly freezing as he stuffed them into his pockets.

“Yes,” she called back, her eyes not leaving Rowan’s face.

Aelin was seeing someone else. It wasn’t a thought that had ever occurred to him until those texts from Fenrys, but now it was glaringly obvious. She had already said once that their relationship wasn’t supposed to turn into anything serious. Had she been seeing other men the whole time? It wasn’t like they’d ever talked about being exclusive in any shape or form. They had plenty of time away from each other. He never would have known. It couldn’t even be considered cheating.

“Rowan,” she said, bottom lip tucked between her teeth to swallow her smile.

“I’ll… I’m sorry. I’ll let you get back to the guy in the shower,” he half-mumbled, crossing his arms to hide his shaking hands.

And then she was well and truly laughing. It was a bright, melodious sound that under any other circumstance, he would have loved to pull out of her, to bottle up and get drunk on it whenever he pleased.. But right here, right now? Rowan was fucking gutted, and she was giggling like he’d said the funniest thing in the world.

Rowan had just turned to start walking away when she collected herself enough to say, “You mean my cousin?”

Time stopped. His blood was pumping in reverse to turn back the clock, to take everything he’d just said and wipe it from existence. Even his movements felt slower as he looked at her, fire licking up his neck and covering his face. The tips of his ears would be nearly purple and if he walked out into the humid air, his body would be steaming. She could probably feel the heat of his body from where she stood in the doorway.

Rowan had never been so fucking embarrassed in his entire life.

“Yeah, I– I am so sorry. I’ll talk to you later,” he grumbled, turning on his heel to make his swift exit and go die in peace. Recovery wasn’t an option. There was absolutely no coming back from this.

~*~

The plan with Fenrys had either gloriously backfired, or he put much more into the prank than expected. She made a mental note to text him about that later, but there wasn’t time for that now.

Aelin stepped through the door and caught Rowan’s hand before he was too far away. He felt feverish, like his immune system was trying to burn out the embarrassment before it could settle too much. It took a lot of tugging but he stopped trying to escape her presence. His footsteps were heavy on the old wood floors as she dragged him back toward her apartment.

“I really just want to go,” he told her, tattooed fingers sliding through his hair. It was down for once, not braided or tied out of his face.

“Look at me.” But he wouldn’t. Green eyes stayed glued to a spot well above her head, looking at anything but her. Yes, it had been funny that he thought that Aedion was a random hookup. But the devastation on his face had done nothing but wreck her in return. The laughter was partially an involuntary response to an awkward situation, but also because it was cute that he was so worried about it. Rowan had absolutely nothing to be worried about.

“Aelin–” The more she reached for him, the more he leaned away. He took one step back and she took one forward, refusing to let him leave while so upset. Aelin reached up, her cool hands resting on his warm cheeks as she gently guided his face to look at her. Before he could protest or slip further from her grasp, she rocked up onto her tiptoes and pressed a soft, sweet kiss to his lips. All ten of his fingers were shaking when they came to rest on her hips and it broke her heart.

“Take a breath,” she whispered, sliding her hands down his neck and over his chest. Rowan’s eyes were still closed as he rested his warm forehead against her own, but he obeyed. “Fenrys was just fucking with you. Clearly he took it way too far and I am so sorry. We will most definitely be having words about that.”

Before he could respond, from the depths of her apartment Aedion once again shouted for her and Rowan’s hands flexed on her hips. Aelin sighed and grabbed his hands, walking backwards with him until they were inside. Her fingertips were able to reach around him to push the door shut, sealing him inside with her.

“Aedion, can you shut the fuck up and come out here and talk to me like a normal person? You’re freaking out my boyfriend and he’s been through enough for today.” Aedion’s hurried footsteps down the hall and the click of his door shutting was the only response she was given, likely to hurry and dress for their sudden company.

Rowan looked inclined to agree with her sentiments, but didn’t say anything as she walked to the kitchen to get him some water. There was something off about him, and not just because of the trauma Fenrys had inflicted on him, nor the embarrassment that still stained his cheeks. He seemed almost… dim. All of the energy he’d had mere moments ago was vanishing before her eyes. His posture was a deflated balloon hovering inches from the ground a week after the party.

“Are you hungry?” She asked, taking his hand and guiding him to the couch. Rowan shrugged as she nudged for him to sit in the corner while she curled onto the middle cushion beside him, her legs leaning against his thigh. If anything, she hoped it would ground him from the hell he’d been dragged through in the last few hours. “When was the last time you slept?”

Rowan exhaled, his cheeks puffing out with the gust of air. Dark circles haunted the skin beneath his eyes, which were bloodshot, making the green of them all the more piercing. Aelin frowned at his lack of response, tugging on his sleeve until he looked at her.

“The fact that it’s taking you so long to figure it out tells me enough.” As though they couldn’t help themselves, despite her telling him she needed space, her traitorous fingers reached out and brushed his hair out of his eyes.

“It’s been a few days,” He admitted, attempting to rub the tiredness away with his thumb and forefinger. “And my head is fucking killing me.”

“Let’s eat some breakfast and then we can nap, yeah? I’d tuck you in right now but I’m starving and I think you probably need to eat a bit, too.”

A crease appeared between his eyebrows, lips pursing into a line as he looked over at her and said, “Is that… okay? You said you wanted space. I’m not exactly giving it to you by showing up like this.”

“Considering I’ve barely been awake for an hour and could already use a nap, I’m going to go with yes. Besides, I do want you to meet Aedion while he’s here.” Thank the gods, his lips quirked into a small smile. Relief fluttered through her chest. She had never been so happy to see somebody smile at her before.

Just as he opened his mouth to respond, however, Aedion’s door opened and he appeared in the archway to the hall. Aelin looked over at her cousin with a look that threatened violence if he tried the man beside her even a little too hard. Much to her surprise, Aedion gave a short nod before walking closer to the couch.

“Aedion, meet Rowan. Rowan, this is Aedion.” Aelin was a little surprised that Rowan mustered the muscle power to stand and shake hands. “Rowan is very tired so save the groveling for later, please.”

“I think you should be telling him to save my ass-kicking for later,” Rowan amended, sitting back on the couch. Aelin grinned as he looked over at her. “I can assume you told him what I’ve done.”

“And that you’re very sorry,” she added sweetly, but her glance at Aedion was sharp as a dagger. Though his mouth had opened, likely to throw his own little quip into the sparring ring, it shut immediately.

“We’ll talk about it another time,” Aedion said simply, dropping onto the sofa beside Aelin with enough force that she bounced. She scowled at him, her hand immediately going to cover her stomach. “What are we eating?”

Half an hour later they had brunch delivered to the apartment, the three of them sitting knee to knee on the couch. The sofa in question had been chosen for the luxurious aesthetic it provided, but she made a mental note to look at sectionals. There was no way she could have any other visitors with only this and the overstuffed chair in the corner for seating.

Though he said a few things here and there, most of the conversation was Aelin and Aedion’s casual banter. While they did talk a little bit about the game he was carded in and what he expected for the rest of the season, as the conversation went on Rowan seemed to keep drawing further and further into himself. His broad shoulders were caved in and that wrinkle between his eyebrows got deeper and deeper. It looked like it was taking an astronomical amount of effort to keep his eyes open.

When they finished, Aelin and Rowan settled back against the couch while Aedion cleaned everything up. She had intended to just check a few emails before getting Rowan to bed, but he dozed comically fast. The email was half-read when she locked her phone and contemplated the best way to wake him gently.

“This is the man that got the first red-card of his career for being so fucking pissed on Friday?” Aedion asked incredulously.

“So it would seem.”

“You’ve never seen him play–” But Aelin cut him off with a shake of her head.

“I have. I watched the game until he got kicked out and then drove to Doranelle.”

“Before that,” his hand cut through the air, dismissing her. Aelin gave him a flat look before looking back at the man snoozing beside her. “He’s a demon, Aelin. When he’s on the field every move is calculated and with purpose. His face is always harsh and his body is always locked and loaded for the next play. Yet here he is, falling asleep on your couch with his mouth open. He might start drooling.” Aedion put his hands on his knees and leaned forward to get a closer look.

Aelin grinned, eyes cutting back to Aedion. She couldn’t help it. “Be nice, he’s getting old.”

She knew it was true. Ever since uncovering the truth about his job, she had spent an embarrassing amount of time watching highlight videos of his career online. Every photo she saw that was snapped mid-match, his face was all hard lines and angles like he was in the middle of a battlefield fighting for his life. On the soccer pitch, he looked like a warrior that had been honed for battle. Here, on her couch asleep, he just looked like Rowan. The real Rowan, and she was pretty sure not many people saw this side of him.

“He looks younger like this,” he observed, eyes squinting as if he could see the soccer persona in his face if he tried hard enough. It was nowhere to be seen, though.

“Probably because he isn’t awake to frown at me.”

“Yeah, no way this is the same guy that fought his way to a red-card before halftime,” Aedion concluded. Aelin snorted, her hand flying to her mouth to muffle the sound. Rowan didn’t so much as twitch.

“I’m pretty sure he almost cried when he heard you yell at me from the bathroom. He thought…” Involuntary giggles bubbled through her chest and out of her mouth, “He thought you were a hookup from last night.”

“That’s gross.” Aedion’s lips were downturned as he straightened, arms folding across his chest. “He almost cried?”

“That’s where it gets not-so- funny. Whatever Fenrys said to him really fucked him up.” She sighed then, reaching to trace his cheekbone with her fingertip. Rowan did stir then, eyes blinking rapidly as he took in a brute of a man staring down at him curiously and the feeling of Aelin’s skin on his. “Come on. Let’s go take a nap.”

In the most adorable protest of the century, Rowan started grumbling incoherently in the old language. Aelin smiled, only catching a few words here and there that equated to him insisting he wasn’t tired and they could nap later. His eyes betrayed him. They were heavy, blinking slowly and trying to roll back in his head.

“This is one argument you sure as hell aren’t going to win.” Aelin pulled him to his feet and guided him to her room. When she plopped him onto the edge of the bed his protesting started up again.

“What’s in it for me?” Sleepy, bleary eyes looked up at her as he refused to lay down. Aelin was standing between his legs with her hands on his shoulders, an eyebrow cocked to silently tell him he was being ridiculous.

“Besides sleeping for the first time in a couple days?” Rowan nodded, his fingertips grazing up her thighs and settling on her hips. She laughed, pushing his hair behind his ears. They would definitely be talking about his sleepless nights later. “What do you want?”

“A kiss, please.” His response was so immediate it made her heart play hopscotch in her chest. Sleepy Rowan might just be her favorite thing in the entire world. Not even cotton candy could make her feel so light and sweet.

“Okay, deal,” Aelin leaned down and pressed her lips to his forehead. Rowan swore in the old language but laid flat on his back and let her pull the blankets over his body.

“Should have been more specific,” he mumbled, pulling on her hand until she crawled over him to the other side of the bed and nestled into the sheets beside him. She let him pull her close until they were pressed flush together. A weight she hadn’t realized she’d been carrying fell from her shoulders, replaced by his arms around her body. Aelin didn’t pull away but snuggled into him as much as she could, her face against his chest as she deeply inhaled the scent that was so completely Rowan. The scent that was home.

“You should have,” she agreed, but Rowan was already asleep.

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