#She doesn't develop those emotions easily

[cjrae]

Stunted Love. Or: The Theme of MaoMao's little finger.

Maomao's little finger is a recurring motif in the Apothecary Diaries, and it receives even more emphasis in the anime's first season - it represents her belief that romantic love leads to pain and destruction. Spoilers primarily for the anime, but also the epilogue of light novel four and Chapter 15 of light novel six below.

Love In A Cage

The motif is first introduced in "The Unsettling Matter of the Spirit" - Concubine Fuyou's story. Maomao has already noted the parallels between the red light district and the Inner Palace, but here we see what happens when romantic love is introduced into the mix. On paper, Concubine Fuyou is a literal object of pity. Her personhood is being gifted to an officer who recently distinguished himself on the front lines, discarded after having failed to please the Emperor. It's telling that this is one of the first times we see Jinshi interacting with a consort where he is completely serious, without bringing his charm to bear. We never hear him say anything, but it's clear that he's communicating the Emperor's order with respect and understanding the gravity of the consequences for Fuyou.

As the events of the episode unfold, the parallels between courtesans and consorts get stronger as Maomao introduces the concept of having a contract bought out - if a man wants a courtesan enough, she is also an object to be purchased, albeit at potentially astronomical price. At first glance, it would seem like these women have absolutely no power in these scenarios - but by the end of the episode, Maomao shows us the feminine side of this transaction - how a woman can manipulate the system she is trapped by in order to get what she wants. All she has to do is lower her value - a rather counterintuitive measure that can go horribly wrong all too easily, as we see later.

And what Concubine Fuyou wants is to escape the Inner Palace to be with the man she loves - a task that she succeeds at. She has played a long, patient game in the service of freedom. Trapped in the cage of the Inner Palace herself, Maomao holds her scarred finger against the freedom of the sky and wonders what kind of medicine love would make.

Devotion

We see further flashbacks to Maomao's past through multiple episodes, but the next time the concept of love is brought up is when Fengming is confessing her role in the death of Consort Ah-Duo's baby in "Honey" (episode 11). Maomao is brought up short by Fengming's confession - she flat out says to the audience that she's never loved anyone with that depth of devotion Fengming displays toward Ah-Duo, so she doesn't know how Fengming feels. But if she doesn't have empathy to offer, she does have a rough kindness. Another person might have said that Ah-Duo deserved to know why her son died, that the knowledge might have provided closure. Maomao, however, believes that knowing the baby's cause of death would only cause more pain (it's never the crime and always about the cover-up) without providing any actual benefit.

With these two episodes framing her early character development we see that, whatever Maomao's natural inclinations are (and I will leave discussion of neuro divergency to those better qualified to discuss it), there is a certain distance between Maomao and her emotions most of the time. It is implied that this distancing from her emotions is a trauma response as the image of a woman holding a knife above her head while kneeling on a bed is shown but not explained (it is the only recurring image during the montage before the discussion about her potential execution with Jinshi).

Lakan and Fengxian

In "Lakan" (episode 18) the motif begins recurring more often as Maomao's parentage is revealed. We've caught glimpses of the sick woman in the annex before, but as the camera pans over the bed, it's clear that this is Maomao's mother (as always in anime, the hair is a dead giveaway). We've seen Maomao in this room, always curled in a fetal position, staring with blank eyes, but here we see Maomao actually caring for a woman who she describes as driving her out over and over again. The camera's focus is on Maomao's eyes as she watches her mother continuing to deteriorate - they're blank yet again, echoing her earlier line of "This is stupid. She's gone."

This is not the look of a girl who genuinely doesn't care about her mother. The image of her mother with the knife upraised is straight out of recurring nightmares that wake her gasping with terror and continue to haunt her after she's returned to work. While there is no AFFECTION involved, there are certainly very strong emotions here. Later, in the bath with Meimei, Maomao wonders if Meimei's in love - and immediately shies away from the thought, insisting that "love is an emotion I'm sure I left behind in the womb."

Interestingly, this is immediately belied as the Three Princesses (the women who took on the maternal role that her mother discarded) begin to pamper Maomao in the bath, and she relaxes into their touch, flushed with belonging and pleasure at their attention.

Confrontation

In "Blue Roses," (episode 22), everything has built to a head. By hiding Maomao back into the Rear Palace, Jinshi is acting as her shield - and Lakan responds with a power play. Both he and Jinshi are aware that Lakan knows his true identity, so Lakan provokes Jinshi with a political test. "Nothing is impossible" for a man with Jinshi's power - so providing some blue roses at a garden party in early spring should be simple, right? It's a near impossible task and Lakan knows it - even if Jinshi were to figure out how to dye the roses to be the appropriate color, they're still out of season.

Up until now, Maomao's response to Lakan has been to hide. But, with Jinshi's reputation on the line and seeing how worn out he is, Maomao has finally had enough. So she takes Lakan's challenge on and, while she's in the process of growing the hothouse roses so that Jinshi can best Lakan, she diverts unwanted attention from the Crystal Palace's handmaidens by showing Xiaolan how to do a manicure - something that draws attention to the deformed pinky on her hand and changes her perspective of the damage to the finger.

The art should be paid attention to here - we see close up shots of two other people's hands after having the manicure done - Xiaolan and Consort Lihua. In both of these shots, there's some subtle detail paid to their little fingers as well - Xiaolan's is ever so slightly crooked rather than perfectly straight, while Lihua flexes her fingers so that the pinky is extended as she looks at her hands. In the next shot, Maomao has done her nails as well - and when Jinshi draws attention to the fact that he's surprised she would do her nails (like Hongiang, Maomao usually prefers work over fashion), she looks at the finger and remarks that, even though her little finger is twisted and scarred, it looks better than it did before - an acknowledgement that the finger is not actually a hindrance, but a piece of her identity.

Healing

Giving Lakan the opportunity to finally do right by Fengxian is the most grace and forgiveness that Maomao can extend to either of her parents. Their romantic love is certainly sympathetic to an outsider, but Maomao was shaped by the consequences. Lakan's carelessness and Fengxian's willingness to break the rules of the pleasure district in order to deliberately lower her value so that she could be with the man she loved, is the guiding cautionary tale of her life.

But Maomao has also grown over the season. She is neither the terrified little girl, abandoned by mother and father alike (however unintentionally on Lakan's part) nor a teenager full of fear fueled rage at Lakan's persistence. She is Luomen's daughter and proud of that fact - she has found her family and a place in the world. It is with that more adult understanding of the world around her that she dances atop the wall of the Rear Palace, giving her parents the only thing she can, which is her blessing and best wishes for their short future, as she sends her mother off.

Sure enough, who is watching her as she takes a step toward a more mature identity but Jinshi? Other characters have provided a shield between Maomao and Lakan - Verdigris' madam, Meimei and even Luomen. But it is on Jinshi's behalf that Maomao decided to face Lakan herself. She loves her adoptive dad and granny and sisters with all the affection she never received from Fengxian, but Maomao's actions have always spoken much louder than her words - Jinshi protected her and she, in turn, chose to face her childhood bogeyman to help him.

Is it stating the obvious that Maomao tripping and Jinshi catching her is an obvious metaphor for falling in love?

As she dances on the wall, we see the two seemingly disparate sides of her identity coalesce into a whole. The moment she lets down her hair is a uniquely Japanese moment of eroticism (this is why maiko and geisha use the oshiroi that bare the nape of their necks), even as she's also deliberately reapplied her freckles.

The moment she realizes that Jinshi truly sees all of her in a uniquely emotional moment, she trips and is made terrifyingly vulnerable as she nearly goes over the edge - only to be caught safely in Jinshi's arms.

Safely back atop the wall, the little finger comes up one more time - except that this time, instead of looking at the damage inflicted and seeing the scar, Maomao looks at her pinky and shows it to Jinshi, telling him what sounds like a strangely gruesome medical fact. That a fingertip can regrow if cut off. For all the trauma that her biological parents caused her, for all that her pinky will be scarred for the rest of her life, the wound did heal. Maomao has healed - she is capable of friendship, loyalty and love that can inspire devotion - even if she rarely displays open affection.

Love Creates Fear

This motif comes back again, at the end of light novel 4 (what will be the end of Season 2, if the studio continues to stick to two light novels a season for pacing, which I expect they will). Jinshi has officially cast aside his cover as a eunuch and stepped into the political limelight as the Imperial Brother. Maomao, as a result of their adventures, has returned home, to her apothecary shop and, as she works she thinks about how everything has changed.

"Jinshi must have finally gone back to being whoever he really was. Maomao didn't know his real name: she couldn't have used it even if she did. The worlds they lived in were simply too different…Anyway, now that Jinshi was no longer a eunuch, he couldn't get away with keeping some lowborn girl around him…So it was for the best, really, that Maomao had come back to the apothecary's shop in the pleasure district."

As Maomao ruminates to herself about how she will never see Jinshi again, she retreats to what she knows best - medicine. She's got her emotions under lock and key and she's begun experimenting, working on creating a more potent painkiller. However, her pain tolerance is too high to work with her previous methods.

Or, to lay the metaphor bare, Maomao has dealt with abandonment before, but not like this. Her usual methods aren't working - so it's time to up the ante. What she does next is extremely telling.

"'Got to cut deeper if I want to be sure'. Maomao looked at her left hand, then tied some string firmly around her pinky. She stood and took a small knife from a cabinet. 'Here goes!'

Just as she was about to bring the knife down, a beautiful voice interrupted her: 'WHAT are you doing?'

Without a word, she turned to see a man in an unusual mask standing in the entryway of the shop…'Done with all your work?' Maomao asked, undoing the string around her finger and putting the knife back in the cabinet."

The thought that she and Jinshi are now living in such different worlds that they will never see each other again is painful enough that cutting her finger off in a thinly justified experiment is preferable to feeling her own emotions. What Maomao wants in this moment is a return to the emotional numbness of the past - only this time, she will do the damage herself.

But Jinshi is not Lakan and abandoning Maomao for any reason is simply not an option. Just as he caught her on the wall, Jinshi catches her again. A prince is standing in an apothecary shop on the edges of the red-light district, a place where he should not be - except for the fact that it's where Maomao is.

Connection and Communication

Finally, as a callback toward the end of light novel six, Jinshi and Maomao are beginning to reconnect after Jinshi screwed up and lost a lot of emotional ground in light novel five's epilogue, and he does the following.

"She reached out for the package, which Jinshi had put behind his back, but he planted a palm on her belly to keep her from sitting up and she couldn't reach it. She kicked her legs from sheer frustration and this time he grabbed her ankle. She was just trying to decide what he might be planning when he brushed the tip of his pinky finger along the back of her foot.

'Hrk?!' Maomao choked, squirming...The back of her foot, and her back as well, were hopelessly vulnerable to a gentle brush of the fingers.

'M-Master Jinshi...That's...not...fair!'"

While Jinshi is still the instigator in this scene, this is the the first instance of romantic and sexual contact that Maomao accepts, eventually bursting out laughing - and when he gets that laughter, Jinshi also immediately backs off, accepting that he has pushed her as far as she can go right now. But that first contact was via that tiny fingertip representing love.

His hard-learned patience is rewarded when Maomao is finally willing to speak to Jinshi about how she's feeling about his desire to marry her, first obliquely as they discuss the plot of a very familiar tragic romance, before she addresses the issue directly.

"Instead of answering, she murmured, 'I don't want to be an enemy.' Jinshi gave her a sidelong look as if to ask whose enemy she meant. 'To Empress Gyokuyou,' she said.

Would Jinshi understand what she was saying? If not, that was fine, Maomao thought. There were things even he didn't know.

'You - '

He seemed about to ask her something else when a horse whinnied outside..."

Maomao may be hesitant, she may feel very confused, but she finally gives Jinshi something to work with here - communicating to him not that she simply doesn't care about him that way, but that she has a very real, concrete fear about what a romantic relationship with him would mean, not only for them, but for everyone else around them.

That's a lot to balance on the tip of a pinky.

[toxictigertonic]

hopes you don't mind be asked about headcanons!! but I adore how you write them!! What about Prime Assets and hugs? How huggable they are from 0 to 10? Would they hug each other?

Ohhh this one has the potential to be so silly and yet so sad... All of them could use a good hug (I'm hugging Coyle to steal from his back pocket :) )

COYLE

- Starting out mediocre, Coyle ranks at a 4/10 on the hug scale.

- His hugs are so stiff and so awkward, it's like hugging a plank. You might also get zapped so watch out.

- You know those awkward dad hugs? The ones where it's just a side hug? He can barely even manage those.

- If you gave him a proper hug, he'd keep his hands out to the side, no contact. You'd think he'd get handsy but no, he's so confused by the hug he just freezes up.

- Please don't surprise him with a hug he will suplex you.

- Also he is Not Soft, and his leather jacket smells funny. Not funny haha, funny weird. Mostly like cigarettes and sadness.

- Definitely mumbling something weird during the hug that makes you reconsider your decisions. Not weird enough to pull away but enough to make you think "damn was this really a good idea"

- Take this hug opportunity to fuck with his battery, he's too caught up in how awkward this is to notice. Steal his wallet too, for funsies.

- Would have a hard time chasing you after you hugged him. Not because he's developed some sudden emotional connection but bc that was Weird and he now dreads looking you in the eyes.

MOTHER GOOSEBERRY

- 15/10 for hugs, the most comforting hug you will ever receive in your entire life. If you consider Futterman's presence however it drops down to a 9/10.

- Futterman threatens you about 5 seconds into the hug, if you try anything funny you're getting drill to the face. This is why he affects the score so much.

- There's also the chance that he's going to whisper a question about your dental hygiene, and God help you if you answer no to flossing.

- Ignoring the goose demon, hugging her is sooo nice. She's warm and soft and bc she's so tall anyone who's short is getting surrounded by nice hug.

- She loves hugs, she loves to give and receive them. You can even potentially make her nonviolent for a minute or two if you offer a hug.

- Pray for your spine though bc she gives bear hugs. She will not hesitate to crush the life out of you with her squeezes.

- The kinda hugger that pets your head and calls you her sweet baby, or something like that. Again, most comforting hugs in the world.

- You can ask to hug Futterman but he'll just hiss at you. Man hates being hugged. Being involved in a hug is already bad enough.

- If you're small enough she will pick you up during a hug. She could very easily lift someone but if you're smaller she's more likely to think of you as a child.

FRANCO

- He's hard to rank bc how do you rank someone who either tries to kill you or cries when you hug them. I'm gonna give him a 6 or 7/10 because the hug itself isn't too bad if he doesn't go for violence.

- The violent reaction is mainly bc he's not used to anybody being kind to him. Most times he's had human contact it's been to hurt him.

- That's also why he cries. He's so unbelievably touch starved that an innocent hug can send him spiraling.

- You better hug him while he cries. He might track you down afterwards if you don't, nobody can know he cried like that. Also, you hurt his feelings :(

- If you DO continue to hug him, prepare to be crushed in his arms. He's shockingly strong, and he's clingy when he's upset.

- Also don't he surprised if he ends up in your lap tbh. You gave him the hug, you should've expected this to be how things would go. Man just wants some comfort.

- He's gonna try to bury his face into your neck, even if you're a lot shorter than him. He'll hurt his back hunching over, he doesn't care.

- He is constantly in a state of not wanting to be touched but also desperately needing a hug. It's like dealing with a cat.

- If you pet his hair or say anything comforting he will cry so hard he throws up I do not make the rules.

GROUP HUGS

- BAD IDEA.

- Franco and Coyle would rather die than hug each other. Gooseberry is going to make them be friendly whether they like it or not.

- She makes them hug and they're just whispering threats to each other.

- "Putting you in prison will be the nicest thing I do to you." "Good luck putting me in prison with a fuckin' incisor lodged in your shin."

- Gooseberry picks Coyle up when she hugs him and he freaks out. He doesn't know what to do so all he can do is Flail.

- On one hand, he's attracted to her. On the other hand, keep your hugs to yourself, woman!

- You know damn well Franco is requesting hugs from Gooseberry every single day.

- He is just a sad little boy and he needs a comforting hug from her. This is how he convinces her to hug him every single time (not like he has to do much convincing, she loves hugs).

- Futterman wants to turn him into a fine paste. He knows what that little shit is up to and he's not having it. Leave his daughter ALONE.

- He's stopped full-on crying after getting so many hugs from her, but he still gets a little teary-eyed. Especially when the head petting comes into play.

Ask me as much as you want! I will happily take 18 requests from the same person, I do not mind!!

[dreamwreaver]

I completely agree, Vaggie and Charlie are really each other's antithesis and it's executed BADLY. The show doesn't do anything meaningful with their differences, if anything, it makes it starker. Their communication is terrible, they are not at all in sync with each other's needs and the only time they ever got actual development was when they separated to seek help for the battle with the exorcist, in which, they had more chemistry with their respective mentors than they ever had with each other (I honestly ship Vaggie and Carmilla a little after their spar, like come on, one time Carmilla lets her hair down, an act of vulnerability in some cultures, was with Vaggie and Vaggie also got her wings back after that fight too. Not to mention, they had a whole ass song together despite not meeting yet before the Chaggie song and has plus points for being original unlike Chaggie's song so Vamilla/Battleangel is a decent ship for me.)

Vaggie may say that she'll do anything for Charlie but she sure as hell won't let Charlie sing and have a deal with the same guy she had a deal back in episode 1. She also seems to forgot that her girlfriend is a grown-ass woman who can thrive on without her while she can't because she thinks she's worth nothing without Charlie. It's sad, really.

I'm honestly curious on what you'd discuss further on how Vaggie would have never let Charlie in but Charlie didn't think to knock, can you please share?

Ngl, while it's not an s-tier ship for me because I do adore zestmilla, battle angel is indeed an underrated pairing and tbh? At the very least Vaggie deserved to have an obsessive lesbian crush on Carmilla. I know it was allegedly planned for her to have an obsession with weapons and it got cut for time or other reasons. Whatever, more stripping of Vaggie's character and turning her into a bland nonentity so she doesn't compete for attention with literally everyone else.

As for your question; I would like to refer back to Charlie's rant at Alastor during their cannibal town date. No I will not be taking arguments on that, that's precisely what it was.

"Three years, three YEARS I've been sharing my life with her and I tell her EVERYTHING! My hopes, my dreams, my insecurities, my embarrassing habits, what fucking DEODORANT I like! And she keeps something, like THIS from ME! Why would she lie for so long? Did she think I wouldn't accept her? What about me, ME, says un-understanding?"

And if you watch her body language during this whole rant it's less emotional hurt and more... ego hurt? Like, this whole upset has gone from "the person I love and trust more than anything has been lying to me about who they are," to, "I share everything about myself with her and should have been entitled to this information."

And yeah, I get it, she was made to look incredibly stupid in front of a heavenly council right before being blasted back to Hell with an entire exorcist army aimed right at her front door. Anyone might be justifiably upset that such important info was kept from them. But as Carmilla literally says not ten minutes later, "You have a giant X over your eye and wield an angelic spear, it's not rocket science."

So Carmilla was able to take literally ONE look at Vaggie and clock her origins? Going further, depending on how you interpret Lucifer's gaze in Dad Beat Dad upon meeting Vaggie it's entirely possible HE clocked her as angelic too. And yet, the person who spends the most time around her somehow couldn't connect those dots? Charlie's optimistic but she's not dumb. She's got a naive understanding of sinners and how best to incite change but to miss something like THAT? I don't buy that Vaggie would have been able to keep that secret so easily if Charlie had been paying as much attention to her partner as any good and healthy relationship should.

But let's backtrack a bit. The notion that Vaggie's off emotionally is established all the way back in episode 3. Remember when Charlie's trying to get the others psyched about trust exercises and Vaggie shows a considerable lack of enthusiasm? What was the first thing out of Charlie's mouth after that? Is it, "hey you seem like you've got something on your mind; are you okay?"

Nope! It's a very embarrassed/annoyed, "Vaggie, we rehearsed this!"

After which she proceeds to blindside Vaggie with the news that she's the one who's going to be leading the trust unit that day. Wow, for all they rehearsed this pitch Vaggie sure seems left out of the loop on it doesn't she? When Vaggie tries to explain without explaining that she's neither qualified nor comfortable about this decision does Charlie say, "well okay then, but if you change your mind just let me know,"? Wrong again! She just says, "It's easy I'm sure you can handle this."

And again, Vaggie is both unprepared and uncomfortable and also unable to say no to Charlie so she defaults into her military training and starts speaking to them like a commanding officer would to their troops. And I don't blame her for that, we tend to fall back on emulating behavior we've seen when we don't know how to cope with something. When trust falls don't work, Charlie tries to retake control but Vaggie puts on a brave face and says she has it when she clearly doesn't. As chaotic shenanigans ensue Vaggie grows more and more desperate but somehow it isn't until she's literally chucking people off a roof that Charlie figures this has gone too far. Not to mention she's incredibly surprised that COMBAT is how Vaggie learned to trust people. Forgive me if I'm wrong but you've been her partner for three years by later admission and you DIDNT know she came from a military background?

Not to mention Vaggie spells it all out in black and white, "I took charge today and it all went sideways. I'm supposed to make your dreams a reality. I'm supposed to protect you. I'm supposed to never fail you" followed by, "If I can't help you, what's the point of me?"

Vaggie has serious issues with self worth, demonstrated here. And while I get Charlie is trying to respect boundaries to a certain point I cannot imagine that were I in her shoes I would leave my partner thinking that if they couldn't be useful they shouldn't be with me. And while to her credit Charlie does apologize, it feels a little pointless when the very next episode she's back to just ignoring what Vaggie says. Even then, that apology doesn't do much to address the real root of the issue. They work as a team? When and where is that EVER demonstrated? It's not a reassurance that Vaggie doesn't NEED to have some demonstrable use for Charlie to want to be with her. And even if it was Vaggie has already struck at the heart of their problem; she wants to be Charlie's armor AND her partner, but those positions cannot work in tandem. Because wanting to be someone's armor assumes they need protecting, and again I state, Charlie is a grown ass woman and one of the most powerful beings in all of hell. She was smart enough to avoid making a deal with Alastor in the pilot, why does Vaggie assume that Charlie NEEDS protecting? And a partner infers a level of equality that just isn't demonstrated in what we see of their relationship. There is no give and take with them supporting each other equally. It's vaggie either trying to draw blood from a stone to meet Charlie's unrealistic expectations, or Vaggie telling Charlie to alter core elements of her personality to appease her own subjects. And on the flip side; where does Charlie support Vaggie in anything resembling the way Vaggie supports Charlie?

Charlie pushed for Vaggie to come to Heaven with her because that was what SHE wanted. Even when Vaggie expressed her reluctance to go Charlie pushed and Vaggie folded even as she knew what ended up happening was a very real possibility. Why?

For all his bloodthirsty nature Alastor knows the political game way better than Vaggie does. Vaggie couldn't keep her shit together when Emily was just holding Charlie's hands and being friendly. That's not the type of partner a political figure should have, and whether she likes it or not as princess of hell Charlie's interwoven with the politics of hell. Being power hungry means Alastor has the genuine best advice for Charlie when it comes to handling bigwigs like the angels. And he's someone with an actual business interest in the hotel. Imagine someone asking him why he helps when he doesn't believe in redemption; and he tells them it's because he believes in Charlie. You don't hand someone the source of most of your power so easily if you do not have a sincere and earnest level of trust in them. And yet Al does it willingly, more than once.

I want to say that I don't hate Charlie or Vaggie. I just don't think they work well as a pairing because Vaggie gives too much and Charlie's more concerned with her people than her partner. And the lack of communication between the two of them is a real issue. Again, Vaggie might never have let Charlie in, but Charlie never thought to knock. She never thought to ask about Vaggie in any way that would suggest the sort of deep emotional love that the show so desperately wants us to believe they have.

And on some level, I think a good portion of the fandom feels it too. Seriously, run the numbers some time on just AO3; filter for the Chaggie tag, and then take out every other ship that those stories are actually about. The chaggie tag is filled with stories that are about someone else's relationship because beneath the surface there's nothing there.

[dr-spectre]

If Callie wasn’t brainwashed then what happened? Wasn’t it like she just grew disillusioned with inkling society and decided to go underground?

Alright so, I've said this in other blog posts and i have gone into it multiple times, BUT! I'll try and sum it all up on what happened to Callie in Splatoon 2. It is very vague and i don't entirely blame people for coming to certain conclusions because the game didn't do a good enough job in my opinion, and the English translation has issues too which doesn't help at all...

So during Splatoon 1 and when it was getting content updates, we got to learn about Callie and Marie. If you look at the dialogue present in Naughty Vs. Nice, Early Bird Vs. Night Owl and Callie Vs. Marie Splatfests, their dialogue is rather harsh and personal towards each other, showing that Callie has these dark traits about her.

These mean and harsh qualities of Callie were built up since Splatoon 1 and they come into the forefront in Splatoon 2 and I'll go over that shortly.

After the final Splatfest and Marie's victory, the Squid Sisters became a lot more famous and stepped down from their news presenting duties and gave it to Pearl and Marina. During this period, Callie and Marie became more estranged with each other as Callie became more and more popular, meaning she got a LOT more busy and had to work day in and day out every single day at an acting gig. In the Squid Sister Stories web series, Callie is stated to be "lost at sea herself" meaning that her acting career and fame are taking a tole on her, and it's pretty easy to see that with the Sunken Scrolls in Splatoon 2.

At some point Callie and Marie managed to hang out and they decided that they would go to Calamari County to visit family. However.... As we know, it didn't pan out that way. Callie at some point in chapter 7 became flustered at work and basically ran off, which her manager thought she wanted to go home.

But... She didn't... She stumbled across DJ Octavio after he broke out from his snow globe (don't ask how, we don't know and plus, octopuses are very clever and can easily get out of trapped spaces).

Now, Octavio is a man who knows how to use manipulation and propaganda to his advantage. He is the leader of an entire race of people that are on the brink of collapse, it's either they all die, or he pulls the right strings to motivate his people to fight and take the Great Zapfish so that they don't die. And now we have an emotional and mentally unwell Callie who is suffering from so much attention and overwork, of course Octavio, the main antagonist, wanted to take advantage of that. Callie is a very powerful woman with the ability to influence and inspire others with her voice, of course Octavio wanted that kind of power to help his race and get them motivated again after their loss in Splatoon 1.

So what did he do? Did he grab her and kidnap her and put on some "evil brain warping shades" and brainwash her while she was kicking and screaming trying to stop him? WRONG!!!!!!!!!! As stated by the OFFCIAL Splatoon 2 relationship chart that i love to bring up all the time, there seemed to be an on going conversation about Callie joining the Octarians, Octavio possibly appealed to her sense of isolation, hidden resentment for Marie and her being so overworked. And she says "Ok, fine. I'll hear you out." Does that scream kidnapping to you? I don't think so.

She's even called "the lovable rebel" implying she felt some distain for Inkling society from the way they treated her and wanted to rebel. Would the developers and writers of a character who was forcibly brainwashed and kidnapped display as her a rebel and pose her like this? I don't think so.

Like you would not see Marina Agitando for example in these sort of poses in artwork because the circumstances and conditions are so vastly different.

So now let's get into those god damn mother fucking bitch ass hypnoshades. As their name suggests, they are shades with an element of hypnosis of some kind, if they weren't hypnotic shades and just turned people evil and forced Octarian ideals into their brains then they wouldn't be given that name. "Hypno" is a very specific word choice and it's done on purpose. Callie was hypnotized, not brainwashed, that word is only used in English translations of the game and outside media and if you ask any hardcore fan of a series made in Japan then you would know that English scripts kinda fuck up the Japanese ones most of the time. Take me for example, I'm a Sonic the Hedgehog fan, the Japanese versions of Sonic stories are vastly different from the Western versions in tone, dialogue, call backs, personalities, etc. Same thing with Splatoon unfortunately. Take the English translation of the Splatoon scripts with a MASSIVE grain of salt. Like a meteor sized grain of salt lmao.

Now, what is being hypnotized like? is it like being a mindless puppet that follows the orders of the person doing the hypnosis? Well... Nope. Not true actually. The way it' s portrayed in media is completely wrong and untrue. Hypnosis is similar to being in a flow state, or being incredibly relaxed while also having heighten attention and suggestibility. Imagine being in a daydream while still having hyper awareness of the stuff around you. Now that part about suggestibility is important because this is where people mess up. If a hypnotized person is given a suggestion that goes against their morals and ideologies, they will NOT!!!!!!!! follow through with that suggestion. If a hypnotized person is told to murder their family, they will not do so UNLESS they secretly want to murder them and it's in line with their psychotic and fucked up wishes.

If Octavio told Callie to murder Marie instead of Agent 4, she wouldn't follow through with the suggestion. Callie doesn't wanna murder Marie but instead she wants her to leave because their relationship is ruined. Callie doesn't mind trying to kill Agent 4 because firstly, she's mentally unwell and isn't thinking clearly from having a mental illness, and two, she doesn't have any personal attachments to Agent 4 so she can just listen to the suggestions from Octavio and follow through with them. Even in the rematches, Callie doesn't know Agent 4 all that well compared to Marie and it's clear Callie is still not doing so well after Splatoon 2.

Callie while under the hypnoshades is more like herself than not. Like this line for example is just typical Callie but she's more aggressive and mean.

If she was truly brainwashed then her personality would be A LOT more different. She would be a lot more subservient to Octavio and the Octarian race and her dialogue would show this too, but it does NOT! In fact Callie berates and talks back to Octavio during the final boss.

The only real differences between Callie and Hypno Callie is that she's more harsh and angry compared to regular Callie. However this anger... this rage... this hate was always there. It was always under the surface, and due to Callie's mental state from being overworked and now under hypnotic shades, that pain and anger is at the surface and is clouding her mind and making her not think rationally. She's more chaotic, she's aggressive and doesn't care for Marie anymore.

Now i do wanna discuss this line as it has been brought up multiple times to me and other discussions on Hypno Callie i see online.

First off, like i mentioned previously, the English translations of Splatoon stories and media sometimes gets it wrong. If you want examples then look at Commander Tartar and Marina's dialogue in Octo Expansion. You can look up retranslations of Octo Expansion to see the differences of the English and retranslated version. The only other mention of remixing a brain is in the Dutch translation. The other translations mention hypnosis and nothing about warping Callie's brain directly.

Second of all, DJ Octavio is... you guessed it... A DJ! He says musical terms to make puns and he's a loud personality.

In fact that "remix" line is actually a call back to the Splatoon 1 final boss and you know what, I'll give prompts for the English translation team for doing that... Still hate them for everything else tho lol.

DJ Octavio didn't literally remix her brain with evil brain warping shades. He is just saying that because it's to show that he got Callie on his side. So the "remixing" is just Callie becoming "evil" and hearing out Octavio.

Brainwashing implies that there is a forcible aspect to it, however from the evidence i just laid out, that cannot be the case as Octavio didn't force Callie into anything she didn't want to do. He didn't torture her, he didn't abuse her. He didn't put the shades on her by force as if he tried to do that he would get destroyed by the more energetic, younger and stronger squid woman that isn't a disabled 130 year old Octoling stuck in his octopus form.

He let her decorate bases and added glittery ink which motivated and inspired his people. Hell his approval ratings went up because the Octarians were happy and inspired by Callie's presence.

Now you may say "but didn't she lose her memories while under the shades and therefore she got brainwashed?"

Well.... Not really. I want you to put yourself in the shoes of Callie, you're in a very focused and hypnotic state, like being in a very concentrated flow state and you have a lot of anger and aggression in you. Your head is so cloudy and you're under a lot of mental distress. So imagine an ink bullet flying at your eyeball, flinging you out of that hypnotic state in a very fast fashion. It's like someone snapping their fingers in front of your face while you're concentrated on a task, or someone smacking you at the back of your head while you're working on something in a deeply concentrated manner. You are left confused and dazed and need a second to gather your composure back. Callie when the shades are removed from her, acts dazed and holds her head like she has a bad headache, only left to sing and dance cause she's an idol and that stuff is natural to her.

Some of the side effects that may occur when under hypnosis include headaches and nausea, and look at Callie when she's flung out of that hypnotic state, it looks like she has a headache and is in pain.

Now when Marie plays the Calamari Inkantation, what is actually happening here is that the song is energizing and motivating Callie. It is not freeing her from "brainwashing." That is a very common misconception about the song, implying that all Octarians are brainwashed and are just mindless drones when that is NOT TRUE AT ALL and is yet another case of bad translation. The song is just extremely catchy and it gives Octarians the motivation to wanna leave to the surface. It also makes Cuttlefish get the strength to break out of his restraints in Splatoon 1 and makes Smallfry transform into Hugefry. The song is so damn powerful and catchy, that's all it is, it is not a mind control cure, that is fucking false.

So what is happening with Callie is that the song is motivating her and flooding her head with good memories of her time with Marie. When the shades are flung off of her, she's still mad at Marie and still fights Agent 4, it takes a while but eventually she starts thinking more rationally, realizing that Marie has come to get her and what Callie has been doing was wrong. Songs are VERY powerful tools for memory and hearing a song you loved back when you were younger can bring out certain feelings and memories. Those happy memories flood Callie's mind and she goes "wait... what am i doing!? This isn't me, I REMEMBER! YEAH!" And she jumps into the air and transforms back into her iconic outfit sailor moon style.

With all of the information and context i presented, it really elevates everything that comes after. It makes Spicy Calamari Inkantation more powerful as a song as Callie has truly reunited with Marie. Fresh Start makes sense and fits perfectly with the narrative the writers wanted to tell. If you take the common and untrue narrative that people keep saying about Callie, Fresh Start literally makes zero sense in that untrue context.

It makes her eventual healing in Splatoon 3 and return to the public WAY MORE SATISFYING!

Callie has matured, she has grown up, she's more comfortable being in the spotlight again and can handle it as she has worked out her relationship with Marie. She used to suffer from being overworked and having an addiction to the shades as it gave her an escape from her life. She would rather be in a hypnotic state then go through her current life. It was only when Callie and Marie came together and truly changed things is when Callie was able to finally heal and get better.

That's why I'm so passionate about this, Callie truly went through a character arc, even it was rushed and poorly presented. I care about Callie and want people to get her story straight. Splatoon 2 was always about the Squid Sisters breaking up and eventually coming back together and becoming stronger. Callie is my comfort character and i want people to treat her better. She wasn't a powerless kidnap and brainwash victim. She was a woman with deep flaws, anger, sadness, aggression, that pain is gone now from her. She's finally... Happy. And that... makes me happy too.

[darkbluekies]

Blue, do you have any facts about any of your characters that you'd like to share. Habits, thoughts, info, etc. Basically anything. This is your opportunity to info dump lol (if ya wanna ;3)

(I'm new here btw, love your work)

🥀anon~

Warnings: murder, suggestive indications,

Silas:

— gets clingy/horny/vulnerable when drunk

— is a good cook

— barely has ant contact with his parents

— likes children (not in a creepy way smh)

— he can't keep his hands off of you normally (imagine when he's drunk) and loves to hold you close to him

— he gets jealous really, really easily and can't control himself when he does get jealous

— loves to mark you up, because ... jealousy and possessiveness

— a bit of a husky voice, a bit deeper, a bit of a Greek accent, crisp voice.

— nationality: greek

— age: Around 35-38, birthday season: late fall

— has to work out a lot to keep his muscles (googled the different types and he resembles a ripped/athletic build) so he drinks more protein shakes than he'd admit

— height: around 189 cm

Dr Kry

— secretly wants to become an author

— he's an only child

— grew up in a very strict household

— he's amazing at turning on/off his feelings and act professional unless it's you

— frowns often

— a honey smooth voice, not very light, not very deep. Clear pronounciation

— was the smartest kid in his class

— age: 33-36, birthday season: winter

— never cries

— nationality: swedish

— he doesn't eat much, mostly chicken in all forms, but drinks a lot of coffee (he has a caffein addiction)

— has a habit of finishing your sentences when you don't want to talk

— height: around 187 cm

King Edmund

— his parents were murdered when he was around 16 which made him the youngest king in their history

— gets someone to taste test the food the two of you eat to make sure no one has poisoned it

— has a sword with your name ingraved in it

— powerful, dominating voice, when he speaks it sends shivers down everyone's spines. He almost always sounds "angry", but he can force it down to a sweet mumble when he's with you.

— age: around 19-22, birthday season: early summer

— nationality: his own kingdom BUT if he had a real nationality, it would be most likely German

— you're the only one he's nice to, but he's a big fan of discipline and will correct you if you do something he isn't liking

— he doesn't feel much regret or empathy when doing something bad, since he's the king and gotten to do everything he wants, he hasn't developed a lot of those kind of emotions

— height: around 184 cm

Jerry:

— likes tattooes, probably has one inspired by you

— trains boxing

— she likes night views, for an example sitting on a roof top to watch the city lights or sitting on a dock to hear the waves late at night

— quite a strong, clear voice, not very raspy, but a little husky every now and then

— age: 24, birthday season: late spring

— she wishes that she could let her guard down with you, but thanks to everything she's been through during the years, she can't let herself

— nationality: korean

— she's the type to go: "you're great sweetie" without looking at what you're doing.

—jerry loves alcohol and melts inside when you get her favorite beer for her

— she watches over you when you sleep and doesn't let anyone come close to you when you're that vulnerable

— will mock you if you say you like something, but then it'll mysteriously appear in your bedroom in large amounts

— height: around 167 cm

Hedwig:

— her voice is sweet like honey, very feminine and delicate!!

— age: around 18-19, birthday season: late summer

— BIGGEST sweettooth, she loves everyhting sweet

— wants an idyllic family life

— nationality: british

— dream job: model

— a big fan of photographing ... you

— hedwig loves to spoil you, you'll always have new clothes, perfumes, jewelry, books, etc etc

— clingiest motherfucker you'll ever meet

— LOVES to show you off

— doesn't like horror movies and if you force her to watch one she'll hide under your shirt every time she gets scared

— always smiles when you talk to her

— height: around 173 cm

[ethanhuntfemmefatale]

spent a bit of time today writing out some thoughts on ford as a character and thought it might be fun to put them here. I think ford is a really interesting commentary on heroism and his role in gravity falls is specific and pointed. theres a lot more i COULD get into (the way he and Stan act as foils for example) but here I just want to explore the fundamental ideas of his arc which includes parts of his dynamic with Bill Cipher and Dipper.

I really love the way gf combines the ideas of the lone hero/adventurer (a classic hero trope) with the ideas of the mad scientist (a classic villain trope) to reveal the way they're really based in similar lines of thinking and emotional pitfalls. Ford's isolation & paranoia, his tendency to put his own body on the line, his (relative) willingness to endanger others for his cause...it all points out a neat overlap between the guy who wears all black and carries a gun at his hip and the guy who WOULD inject himself with some kinda substance in the name of Science. I think that's part of why from what I've seen the fandom can be pretty conflicted on Ford--even on a basic design level, he evokes strong and conflicting feelings.

A key moment to me in establishing the ideas of Ford's arc happens at the very beginning of Weirdmageddon--a strange point to choose maybe since it's so late in the show, but I feel like those three episodes beautifully encapsulate Ford's failures and his development. After realizing what's happened, Dipper is desperate to find Mabel and make sure she's all right. Ford tells him, there's time to find her later--right now we have to stop Bill before the weirdness spreads. I love the way that the show presents throwaway moments like this: they're not questioned in the moment, but they stick out to you anyway because they run so counter to the philosophy of the show. Through the past 2 seasons, not only has the show proven that saving Mabel is more important than stopping Bill, it's also proven (and proves again after this) that saving Mabel is essential to stopping Bill. Evil isn't defeated by one guy being brave enough to shoot a gun at it, it's defeated by a community that works and fights together. And, hilariously, Ford is captured within the first 7 minutes of the episode, making everyone else's jobs way more difficult.

To be clear, it would be a complete misunderstanding of the character to say that Ford prioritizes stopping Bill first because he doesn't care enough about Mabel or her safety. It's precisely because he cares so much that he doesn't look for her right away. Ford has bought thoroughly into the lie that Bill fed him, which is that devastating personal sacrifice is not only right & good, but necessary in order to accomplish great things. As long as Ford believes that lie, he remains Bill's perfect prey—even with a metal plate in his head, even 30 years after the initial manipulation. Ford will easily give up sleep, food, friendship, family, sanity, and his own life, if he can be convinced he's doing it for the right reasons. And he's very easy to convince! Ironically, despite being arguably one of the most formidable characters in the show, he's also arguably the weakest and most gullible of the main cast, because he's so obsessed with the idea of giving up everything for something greater than himself.

That lie of the moral necessity of self-sacrifice, the lie that makes it possible for Ford to give up his brother, lock himself in his basement, be angry when he’s brought back home, and nearly destroy the world, is heavily in the offing through the Ford-Dipper plotline of Dipper and Mabel vs the Future. Ford offers Dipper apprenticeship and tells him that he’s capable of handling it—but it would require personal sacrifice, giving up his childhood with Mabel to join Ford in his self-imposed isolation. A test of Dipper’s aptitude for that kind of sacrifice occurs in that episode: Ford nearly dies, and orders Dipper to let it happen so that the rift is kept safe. Dipper doesn’t even think before disobeying him. He doesn’t seem to consider it a decision. There's no thought of the greater good when his uncle needs him.

Later, talking to Mabel about the idea of joining Ford as an apprentice, he says how ridiculous it is--sees it for a fantasy. The image of heroism Ford presents is appealing, but it's a lie.

For Gravity Falls, a show with two central protagonists, a show arguing over and over that the only way to change things for the better is to work with, trust, and care for your loved ones, Ford's position is an interesting one. I'd argue that thematically he stands in a more relevant antagonist position than Bill Cipher. He represents everything that the show is poised against. He's set up carefully as the epitome of Cool, with a masterful buildup to his entrance, badass styling, and hero worship from Dipper (the closest thing GF has to an audience insert.) And then, slowly and subtly, the show reveals how the lie of the lone hero has convinced him to hurt himself and everyone around him, nearly to the point of destruction.

I love him dearly. The best awful guy of all time

[lutawolf]

My Personal Weatherman and the D/s element Ep 6

If you haven't read my other meta on the show, I suggest you do! You can find them here.

I adore that Segasaki put a tracker on Yoh.

However, it looks as though it was pointless because it's as if Yoh wants to get caught. Slow doesn't even begin to describe this boy.

Now it's finally useful. He has found his man and told him in no uncertain terms to make up an excuse and come back home. Now, if he were an actual slave, he would be unable to say no. If he were deep subservient... He would be unable to say no. I know you normies are thinking, damn. Don't they have rights Luta!? They Don't Want Them! They are not you. For some people, they just don't want to make decisions. Now is Yoh that type of submissive is the question though. Let's see what Yoh does.

I love that Yoh at least has someone on the outside of things he can talk to. She clearly understands Segasaki. I really like the husband. Mickey and Minnie are well suited to each other.

Flashback time!!!

So it all starts in the school cafeteria. OMG, I love how Yoh pauses as soon as he sees Segasaki. Then he has to sit back down because he doesn't know what else to do. His original thought is no longer there. All that encompasses his gray matter is Segasaki. "The first time I saw that person. I thought they might not be from this planet. At least out of all the sculptures that I've ever seen, he's the most beautiful." Then he gives that soft smile. So freaking cute! "The shape of his ears, the line of his nose, the angle of the jawline, the fullness of their lips. Even the shape of their unseen eyeballs must be beautiful."

He then rushes to the store to buy what it will take to draw this beautiful boy. Yoh had it bad right off, but he doesn't understand it himself. Did they really call him loner guy? "If I were a girl, I would have thought it was love at first sight. But it was just a beautiful man." Yoh, you is an idiot. I love you, but you is an idiot. Okay, so he even knows that he is lying to himself. That's fair, we all do it.

I really am not a fan of these people. Loner guy? Really. These people look down on Yoh. Yup, nope, that solidified it. I don't like them.

Bless baby's heart. He is so anxious. I'm in love with Segasaki straight away because I think he fell in love with Yoh pretty fast too. Right off, we see Segasaki easily takes control. The way he tells Yoh, "Let's go." and grabs his arm then backpack to control Yoh's direction and to push him where he wants. He then keeps his hand there.

Right off, they easily drop into a D/s relationship. This is how you would see a D/s relationship develop naturally. Guidelines are always a good but for the fiftieth million time, lifestyle people are different from scene. We are naturally always Dom or always submissive, so we don't turn that off. It's going to naturally be seen even in friendship, but that doesn't mean that a Dom should expect a submissive friend to just listen. A submissive can always put guidelines and boundaries up, but to think that these relationships don't organically happen is ignorant. Yoh is submissive right off the back, just look at how he asks Segasaki if this is okay. Segasaki is Dom right off the bat.

I adore how close they are to each other. Segasaki has no concept of space when it comes to Yoh. Oh, these two. In the way, Segasaki asks Yoh what he is doing. Sees Yoh's indecisiveness, finds a book, and then gives him a command. Fulling expecting Yoh to absolutely tell him what he thinks of the book. "If he were to suddenly despise me, it might be the end of me." Those some deep feelings there.

I can't wait to see Segasaki's side of things!!! We know that Yoh's perception of things are easily distorted by his emotions. He is inclined to having a glass half empty mindset.

Please note, that Yoh as of yet hasn't acknowledged Segasaki's message. The submissive is not listening. We are not looking at a slave or a deep submissive.

Hahaha. Being drunk and clingy are absolutely who he is Mickey my dear.

OMG, This is the best! I'm Dying. I love Segasaki and I love Segasaki's personality and his jealousy. I'm in love with these mother fucking characters oh so much.

The way he stomps over and pulls back the curtains. "You can finish remotely right." I assure you, Segasaki wasn't actually asking a question. Still, Yoh faced with an angry Dom says yes. Said angry, Dom grabs him and begins to pull him away.

Leaving Minnie and Mickey both stunned and impressed. I think Mickey just developed his first guy crush.

Bombastic side eye. Oh damn... Here comes the miscommunication. Yoh is talking about Segasaki and Segasaki is talking about Mickey. Poor baby.

Yoh finds the tracker. Boy knows what that is and tells Segasaki, I put it back where I found it. But Segasaki is pissed. He thinks Yoh likes Mickey. Lawd these two. If they ever learn to communicate.

I can't wait for the next episode!!! I'm so in love with these two!!!

[working-dreamer]

The Person Within: An Analysis Of Professor Layton's Hidden Character Development

Spoilers for practically all of the Layton games!

Hershel Layton as a character is sometimes criticized outside of the fandom for having no personality other than his gentlemanly nature and taking the concept of enjoying puzzles to the extreme.

While I think this criticism shows a blatant misunderstanding to his character, I do think from a different angle that perspective makes Professor Layton more interesting.

Think about it. Most of his personality is taken from the tragedy of those around him. Randall was the one who was originally obsessed with archaeology and puzzles. Claire was the one who originally perceived Hershel as a gentleman (thus giving him the idea.) We don’t really see Layton take these aspects of his personality onto himself until tragedy strikes and these people are taken away from his life.

In the case of Randall's death, Hershel blamed himself for surviving and moved out of town because of his self-loathing and guilt. And when Claire disappeared Layton paused his studies for an unknown amount of time trying to find out what happened until he was beaten into a coma by a group of people associated with her death.

And yet instead of grieving like you’d normally expect from a person who lost his best friend and girlfriend, he internalized their interests and aspects of their personalities into himself. He wears their passions and dreams as his own to remember them. In a way, he’s always reminding himself that he couldn’t save them.

However one might wonder how Layton really feels about those things outside of his previous losses. Does Layton even enjoy archeology and puzzles? Or is it something he has grown to accept in his life simply because he is living out Randall’s dream? Does he feel like he has a choice in the matter?

I can easily imagine Layton having doubts deep within himself: Randall didn’t get to live and it’s my fault. His dreams should live on. I don’t deserve anything else.

Same with Claire. She saw him as a gentleman but he certainly didn’t feel like one after her disappearance if his memory of events is to be taken seriously. How long did it take for him to turn into the perfect gentleman? Especially if it's just a painful reminder of her loss?

It’s probably after waking up from his coma that he starts to really embrace the idea that he has to be the perfect gentleman because he knows he can never get her back. So all he can do is embrace what she thought of him before she died. So with all of this in mind is Layton’s gentlemanly persona genuine to who he is as a person? Or is it just a persona created in order to keep her memory alive?

Layton has kept the shadows of his lost loved ones close to his heart for years and probably would have always done so had he never gotten any closure. However, when Randall turned out to be alive Layton now has the opportunity to let go of that guilt. Claire came back in the future momentarily and Layton got to say goodbye. He no longer needs to keep their personal traits as his own.

So why does he still embody Randall's passion for archeology and puzzles and Claire's perspective that he's the perfect gentleman?

I think it's because Layton doesn't know who he is without these borrowed parts of his personality. Without those aspects that he adopted into himself… who is Hershel Layton? Deep down he is someone who has silently mourned his loved ones and repressed those emotions. And yet most of his life has been embodying said grief. It makes me wonder if Layton would ever look deep within himself and realize that he doesn’t have anything to claim as his own. His entire personality revolves around past guilt and trauma from people he loved and lost.

Shoot even his name isn’t his own! Hershel Layton was actually the name belonging to his brother and in a moment of sacrifice switched names so our Layton could be adopted. So our Layton loses the only family member he has left without even knowing who that is for the majority of his life!

So we have a man who feels guilt and remorse for the deaths of his best friend and his girlfriend so he doesn’t allow himself to develop his own interests and personality because he doesn’t feel like he deserves to be his own person. It's even implied that he believed for a time that he didn't deserve to be the one who survived the events that killed his best friend and girlfriend. And then adding to the fact that he never knew his real family so he most likely felt a different kind of loss by not knowing where he came from. All and all we find a man that feels alone and tries to make it right by embodying the traits of those he cared about.

We don’t get to see Layton develop his thoughts on all of this but we do see an interesting development later on. I’d like to think that Layton slowly began to heal after his adventures thanks to adopting Katrielle in the anime.

This is because, for the first time in Layton’s life, he had a family to look after. Someone who doesn't need a mystery-solving archeologist or a perfect gentleman detective. Someone who doesn't need the grand "Professor Layton." This little girl just needs someone to be her father and, while he tries his best, he doesn't really know how to do that.

Sure he had a familial relationship with Luke and Flora, but he never called himself their father. I don’t think he allowed himself that privilege because of all the self-loathing he had been dealing with before. When he adopts Kat it feels like it’s the first time we see Layton truly allowing himself to be a father figure. And yet he is still uncertain about if he should be the one in this role.

Layton feels like his adopted daughter should know where she came from (something he didn’t get to have) before he can start thinking of himself as a father. He’s scared that if he gets attached then it'll hurt worse when she eventually returns to her own family should she decide that is her wish. But if he finds her family first then he doesn’t have the go through that heartache. He wants to find them first so she can make an informed decision.

And he says this with the logic that he always had as “Professor Layton” with that calm and collected smile. Notice that he says "I want to solve this puzzle so that we can become a true family." He doesn't say "so that we will become a true family." It’s almost as if he is going to let Kat decide if she wants to stay with him or go back to her real parents and that choice will be up to her. However, it's somewhat implied that he already thinks that she would naturally choose her real parents if she had the opportunity.

Despite his wishes to be her father, he still seems to be internally preparing himself to say goodbye (hence why he disappeared for so long in the first place.) He just doesn’t want to get too close to another person only to lose them and suffer alone again.

It makes sense why he is distancing himself, but he’ll still solve the mystery. It's what “Professor Layton” would do and he’ll have to accept whatever happens once Kat learns the truth. He doubts that she would still see him as her dad if she could be with her real parents. He doesn't even know himself outside of the role of "Professor Layton" so how can he be a true father to her? She'll go away with her real family eventually anyway. Why would anyone choose him?

And yet when he sees her again Layton is surprised when she immediately cries out for him. She still calls him papa. She wants him to be her papa.

In a public display of overwhelming emotion, we see Layton openly weep for the first time. He is so overcome by these emotions and for once doesn't repress them. He's just so happy to see his daughter again (to truly call Kat his daughter again) and allows himself to fully express those feelings for perhaps the first time in decades.

If Layton from the original game trilogy saw himself like this he would have been mortified by this “un-gentlemanly” behavior. His mindset back then was that a gentleman never cries because he has trouble coming to terms with his emotions. He even chastised Luke in Unwound Future because “a gentleman never makes a scene in public.”

However, he was never a gentleman for himself. It was always for holding onto the guilt of losing his loved ones while trying to honor their memories at the same time. But he doesn’t have to hold himself to those impossible standards anymore. He no longer blames himself for their deaths, he found closure, and now he has found himself in a family who chooses to love him not because of those attributes “Professor Layton” embodied, but because she loves him for the person hidden under that persona. And that is enough for Layton to openly weep as he embraces his child.

I believe Kat's words here helped Layton more than she'll ever know.

So who is Hershel Layton if he’s not a gentleman or a fan of archeology?

The solution to that puzzle is really quite simple.

He is a caring person. And that’s all he ever needs to be.

[marvelstars]

Does it bothers you when people are like "Leia is so Anakin coded" or "Leia is so alike both Ani and Padme" while completely reducing Luke to "Padme in a boy's body". I have seen a few edits of the twins on tik tok lately and always when the video is about the parallels between Anakin and Luke the comments go "No. That is wrong. Luke is like Padme and Leia is like Anakin", or "you get the twins right, anakin-Leia, luke-padme".

And I have tbh, that pisses me off a bit, mostly on Luke's behalf since he is my fave, cause while I totally agree Luke has a lot of similarities with Padme, he also is alike Anakin in so many ways. And it upsets me a little people just trying to erase everything they have in common just to support this narrative. (Main reason why I don't like the reverse AU, or Senator Luke fics. The ones I have read just straigh up pushed this narrative, putting his love to fly, his passion, and many things that makes Luke be Luke to the side only to make him be a version of Padme)

It is also upsetting for Leia, since she is far away from being 100% like Anakin. They are both passionate and determined people, yes, but this doesn't make her be "Ani 2.0". And this narrative also completely dismiss the existence of Bail and Breha on her upbringing.

Both twins share a lot of similarities with both of their parents in different and intricated ways, with a lot of their own personality on the mix, what makes them unique. It baffles me see them being reduced to charicatures of their parents.

I agree with you, I understand fandom wants to have fun with memes but sometimes they go too far, Leia and Luke ultimately are their own persons and tbh those takes also do a big disservice to Anakin and Padme characters´reducing their arc and personality terribly and ignoring Owen, Beru, Bail and Breha influence on the twins emotional development.

But I will focus on Luke and his relationship to Anakin here.

Luke is a strong force sensitive with a good aptitude towards mechanical work, he is passionate, short tempered, idealist, has big dreams for the future, excellent pilot and soldier who cares more than anything for friends and family and causes he considers just, he is also kind and compassionate even if this doesn´t come easily to him, just like Anakin was at his age.

That said, he is also down to earth, pragmatic and has a no non-sense actitude when it comes to other people, see his reaction to Han trying to scam them on their travel to Alderaan, he doesn´t suffer people trying to make him feel inferior because he knows his own personal value, those are characteristics he got for being raised by his uncle and aunt, sure they lived on a desert planet full of Hutts, slavers, criminals and bounty hunters but they lived an honest way of life and didn´t believe they owned either group an ounce of their honest work, they only ever owned it to their family.

Anakin´s experiences shaped him differently on this matter, given his life as slave his mother teached him the art of bend,dont break by keeping his identity intact, this made him more susceptible to be ordered around by the Chancellor, the Jedi Council, the Republic sometimes even Padme even if this meant sacrificing his original hopes of freeing his mother, the slaves of tatooine and having a family.

Anakin developed low self esteem issues when he got separated from his mother because he no longer had her unconditional support and knew the reason why he was trained by the Jedi was contingent to his habilities and what he could do for the Order, not because he as a person, was important or would have been chosen for himself as a Jedi if he wasn´t so strong in the force but he learned to keep his real self buried and protected from outside forces while using the systems controlling him to his advantage. Palpatine managed to break him but even Vader was able to keep part of his real self alive despite the Emperor´s many efforts to turn him completely to the darkside ,which Luke noticed thanks to his bond to his father.

Those characteristics Luke got from his Uncle and Aunt served Luke well when he confronted the Emperor, Obi-Wan and Yoda, he already was interested in being a Jedi because of his father but this didn´t mean he was going to blindly follow whatever order Yoda and Obi-Wan gave him as much as he personaly appreciated and loved them as people and masters in the force and he certainly wasn´t going to act as if the Emperor wasn´t trying to destroy his familiar bond to his father when he didn´t even know the guy, took his father from him before he was born and was the rebellion´s main adversary, all Palpatine was for Luke was an objetive to kill on sight and Palpatine knew this, that´s why he temped him to the darkside by giving him the oportunity to kill him. Luke is also of the mind that if he doesn´t agree with something and that something is the source of great pain for others he is 100% justified in destroying it, see Jabba´s palace, the death star, the Empire. Anakin´s style is more "I know the system doesn´t work, it sucks but I will be damned if I don´t try to fix it or work around it" because he often feel as if he had no other choice.

Many fans take for granted the fact Luke forgave his father as his main personality trait when the opposite is the truth, Luke wasn´t a stranger to violence because he lived on a planet in which if you didn´t learn to take care of yourself you could die and as part of the rebellion he wasn´t a stranger to killing imperials and losing loved ones to the cause, the interesting thing about Luke´s CHOICE of saving his father isn´t that it was part of his nature all along, it´s the fact that´s pretty much agaisn´t his natural temperament, saving Vader went agaisn´t his natural care for family, Vader may be his father but he hurt his friends and Leia, saving Vader was the least pragmatic choice acording to his identity as a rebel and Jedi, saving Vader went agaisn´t his own feelings of abandoment and yearning for a father feeling betrayed by Anakin´s turn to the darkside.

Still Luke made this choice because he felt how utterly isolated and broken Vader was and he cared enough for the image of the father he never knew, a father he knew could still be there, to show him some uncomplicated, familiar love once again, the kind his aunt and uncle showed him, if only for Luke´s own peace of mind that he truly tried everything to make his father feel better, while his pragmatic side took care of things by letting Leia know about his mission and telling her they had to attack the DSII anyway even if he was there because the cause of freeing the galaxy from the Empire was still more important than his personal feelings and issues with his father.

The narrative gives Luke the victory, saving his father from the darkside which lead to the destruction of the Emperor and the Empire, for being loving and compassionate despite this not coming natural to him but as part of his personal grow and maybe, as the legacy of the two women who shaped his family without him meeting them, Shmi and Padme and the person his father used to be.

Luke and the Skywalker family in general are waaay more than some fans give them credit.

Thanks for the question anon

[morganafayes]

i want to talk about the dark tower (5.06) because it is SUCH a frustrating episode for multiple reasons. it’s unique in that it’s one of the only morgana/gwen centric episodes in the entire series - and yet it ends up becoming a detriment to both of their characters’ development. this episode sucks not just because of the evil gwen plotline (which was terrible yes. we love the writers just removing her autonomy over and over again for no reason!) which resulted from it but also because the lost potential of it all - when this setup could have been easily used to create some of the most interesting plot lines for gwen (and morgana) in s5

like. sorry to say but would it be that impossible or insane for gwen to actually sympathise to some degree with morgana here without magical brainwashing. to me its not! the thing about gwen is that she's a morally driven character first and foremost. one of the main reasons she falls in love with arthur is because crucially, she sees him as a good person. she loves him for the values that she believes he upholds and his desire to do justice. it was same with lancelot - it's emphasised that she liked him because he's honourable and good. we also see that she values her morality and doing the right thing above her own emotions at times (re: her not wishing for uther's death even after he killed her father).

with that in mind, would it be that insane for her entire perspective on arthur and merlin (AND magic) to change because of morgana? firstly, gwen never finds out that merlin poisoned morgana. this is very important to me.... because although yes he didn't 'have a choice' (im not gonna get into all of that but i understand both sides of the argument. whatever) he still did something wrong. like. killing 1 or 10 people in the trolley problem still makes u a murderer. she has every right to hate him. he objectively betrayed her and took advantage of her trust. i feel as if gwen would sympathise with morgana and at the very least this would affect her opinion towards merlin to some degree, and make her realise he's hiding things (because she, like arthur, doesn't know half the shit he gets up to and does! she even less than him!). furthermore (and more importantly) i can absolutely see gwen sympathising with morgana against arthur to some degree too. like yes he's her husband but AGAIN she's someone who always puts her principles first and objectively arthur is upholding his father's legacy by continuing the oppression of magic users. he is textually an oppressor. in 5.13 its clear gwen doesnt fully distrust or hate magic from her conversation with gaius (although she might be suspicious of it considering her past experiences) so she would probably be very sympathetic and understanding if morgana were to explain to her what it was like to be a magic user under uther's reign. how demonised and oppressed they truly were and continue to be. like. she would absolutely still criticise and call morgana out for hurting innocent people but ultimately morgana's cause (despite it being not really true to what it claims to be) would be sympathetic. at the very least she would see that arthur is wrong, even somewhat, for continuing to uphold his father's legacy. especially because (as the writers seemed to forget for some reason.) of her extremely complicated relationship with uther in the past, considering he almost had her killed more than once and did in fact murder her father because of his obsession with banning magic. and now her husband is doing the same thing.

no of course gwen would not side with morgana at this point in the story. but she would understand her and sympathise and it would create such an interesting moment of character growth/conflict. it would make her question her marriage, the things she THOUGHT arthur and camelot stood for and whether those things are really true. it would make her doubt merlin's character and realise he's hiding so much more than she thought. it might make her distrust him or demand the truth. it might make her wonder what SHE wants to do as queen, as a ruler in her own right, especially if she starts to have ideological disagreements with her husband. there's literally so much that could have been done with her in s5 as fallout from just this one episode and they did the most boring thing ever and made it suck so bad. bbc merlin writers ur not seeing the pearly gates

[avesomnia-inhoramortis]

Headcanons: Trina and Miquella

These two are complicated and their relationship will probably evolve as I write them. However, I do have some baseline points I'm following, so let's compile those.

I'm basing a lot of how they function on DID, with a fantasy/eldritch twist. The "original" personality was Miquella. That individual then split into two, who identify themselves as Miquella and Trina. Neither of them is the whole of who they were, and Trina was not something added to the original, but something developed from him.

In essence, mitosis happened. One half of them just insists that he's the original.

While both of them can be kind of childish, Miquella functions on a heavy dose of parentification trauma and Trina genuinely likes being a kid, so they clash pretty harshly sometimes. All of the original's desire to be cuddled and dependent on others got funneled off into Trina, while Miquella wants others to be dependent on him, partially as a reaction to Marika's neglect and the fact that no one else gave a damn about Malenia. Trina wants to rest, Miquella can't sit down because if he's sitting down he's not doing his utmost to save his sister.

As such, while they do understand and love eachother to an extent (because how can you not love someone who knows every terrible thing you've seen and done, who understands you, who Gets It) they also just fundamentally disagree on how a lot of things should be done. Miquella in particular has the stronger, more ambitious personality of the two, and he tends to make rules for Trina that she can't make in return.

Trina is more emotional, more impulsive, cries easily and trusts quickly in a way that deeply unnerves Miquella, who has an entire secret city and machinations against the gods to keep away from prying eyes. He's not sure how she could be used against him, and he doesn't want to find out. Similarly, Trina loves Miquella and Malenia and would never wish them harm, so it was fairly easy to get her to agree to keep their connection a secret.

The Haligtree has no shrines to her, the royal quarters of Elphael have nothing that belongs to her. She assisted Miquella in guiding pilgrims to the Haligtree, because dreams were the easiest and subtlest way he could think of to get the word out, so she does have worshippers there who carry her lily and some perfumers who combat the Rot in her name. But there are no official structures and Miquella tacitly allows her worship to be a private affair.

Particularly in the early years of existing as two-in-one, Trina would accidentally front and take over their shared body if something triggered her forward. Usually Malenia. This freaked Miquella out beyond words and the second they figured out how to mostly control it, he told Trina it made him uncomfortable, and she did her best to never use their body again. It is not a healthy dynamic for either of them.

The very few people who theorize about Miquella and Trina being the same person can occasionally be traced back to those in Elphael who've seen his eyes turn purple. Most of those incidents were covered up- both Miquella and Trina have the ability to alter memories. For what couldn't be covered up, Miquella took credit and said Trina was merely another name he used sometimes.

Since they're an Empyrean, though, she managed to figure out how to leave their body and wander dreams. As long as she leaves no hints as to who she really is, thus putting them in danger, Miquella really prefers that she be Out There and Away somewhere, though sometimes he asks for a favor. Usually guiding pilgrims with dream-messages, occasionally spying. She's happy to help, especially since she wants to be of some use to him.

Trina knows Miquella is an Empyrean, a god-vessel, but he hasn't fully realized that Trina is a nascent god. He's slightly worried about his claim as an Empyrean with her in the picture, actually, since all the other Empyreans he knows are female. It's one of many reasons he encourages her to hide.

Miquella means well, for Malenia and the world in general, but if he's outright cruel to anyone it's definitely himself. If it becomes necessary he will absolutely destroy Trina, but for now her presence is at least somewhat an advantage and he's not sure what would happen if he did that.

Trina, for her part, cannot even fathom the idea that he would seriously hurt her.

[hot-in-a-dress]

Peter Bishop, aka God's Multiversal Apology

Preface note: I've currently been watching/rewatching Fringe, and I have Thoughts, so expect this to be the first of many posts.

First of all, I just need to talk about how much I love Peter Bishop. Not necessarily as a character crush (although it's not not that), but just generally. For all of his background and all of his emotional issues going on, I would have expected him to be a lot more..toxic? I mean, when we first see him he's a bit of a bad boy type, and generally mean to both Walter and Olivia, but I'm glad that the writers knew where the line was. His actions at the beginning of the show are demonstrations of how he's been closed off and running from his past, currently living in a state of hyper independence where he feels like he can't really trust anyone. I think that if it continued for too long, those traits could easily have made him really dark really quickly, and they could have overpowered any grounded moments that he had. Instead, the writers cut/heavily dilluted that aspect of the character pretty early on. At the very least, by the midpoint of season one, he's already started to soften up a bit, and his mean streak becomes the more sardonic charm of Peter that audiences love. By the end of season one, he's downright affectionate.

Speaking of affectionate, I absolutely live for the way he treats Olivia after that mid-season change. I think it would have been pretty easy for the writers to make him a tough-love, "get a fucking grip", push-her-to-the-breaking-point type, similar to earlier Broyles, and instead Peter treats her with such....gentleness.

When she has a panic attack in "Bad Dreams", he goes to comfort her. He clearly makes moves to touch her, but the motions that he makes are really carefully placed in front of her where she can see him, and he backs up/moves his hands away so as not to seem restricting. He doesn't even make contact with her until he knows that she's in a grounded enough place to handle it. That level of respect for her space and emotions is something not often seen in media, and not necessarily expected to come from their (at this time) still vaguely antagonistic relationship. Not only does it show his respect for her, though, just his willingness alone is something that feels so personal. It was one of the first examples of Peter's really deep compassionate streak that he has (especially in terms of Olivia), and it stuck out to me that...at that time, he had no reason really to comfort her. He was still in a more professional setting, and they hadn't quite developed the same level of emotional understanding they have in later seasons. And yet he was so ready to go after her, and so ready to offer not only words, but actual, physical comfort. He held her so tightly, once he knew he could. As all of Olivia's backstory becomes more and more apparent to both audiences and herself, I appreciate these moments even more. She isn't used to gentle men in her life, so the fact that Peter comes along, and he respects her, and trusts her, and most importantly, is gentle with her when she needs him to be, showing her time and again what true love and affection can be, it's just..fucking precious to me. It's everything she deserves and more (though that's a different post entirely).

Anyways, it's also really charming to me that physical contact is a repeated pattern with Peter. From a character perspective, that's so fascinating. He has faced such traumas throughout his lifetime that he seems like a character that would be really hesitant to form connections, and rightfully so. Yet, not only is Peter empathetic, he is so overtly physical about it. Whenever someone else is in pain, Peter becomes a comforter and a protector. And every time he does, it feels like that "he healed something he didn't break" moment. It seems like Peter, who comes from such brokenness and secrecy, just wants to keep the people around him safe, because he's seen the absolute worst things that can happen. He had every right to be angry and cruel, but instead he chooses to be an anchoring point for the people around him, and absolutely loves them fiercely.

It's not that Peter is flawless. He's known to be a bit aggressive, and often dismissive of Walter, among many other instances of recklessness, plus a couple counts of fraud. Yet at the same time, to me, those flaws don't make his love and compassion any less merit worthy. It just makes him a complex character. It's the reason why he feels so stand-out from other characters of that genre of show, and other tropes of The Leading Bad Boy. Peter Bishop at his heart is just...written beautifully, and he's exactly the type of healthy masculinity that sci-fi tends to lack. He's God's Apology, across all the multiverse, and I am absolutely here for it.

[smile-files]

it's funny how much bow fixates on how important the contestants are, and how thus a contestant (marshmallow) will choose to give attention to another contestant (apple) over her; because she's a ghost (and automatically not a contestant), she is incapable of being "real" like the contestants -- she can only barely tangibly interact with them, and even when she can, it's only within the confines of one location and one element of the story.

to the show, the contestants are the main characters: and so the reality of any character, their depth and personhood, relies (in the eyes of the viewer) on their ability to interact with the contestants, as that determines their screentime and personal developments -- and, as bow notes, contestants are the ones most easily able to interact with other contestants. the contestants are the most "real" within this framework. a background/side character is less "real" in a sense, because they're a flat character, not meant to act like a fully fleshed-out person -- the contestants are "real" in their humanity, their complex relationships and emotions, their way of simulating actual human experience.

of course, this is all incredibly ironic, then, as the contestants were manufactured to be contestants: created to be the main characters in mephone's show. they're "fake" -- particularly in how they were synthetically designed to be "real". the way the characters have acted thus far implies that, largely, they had some vague knowledge of a past and identity for themselves outside of the show -- the only characters alluding to the contrary are fan and cabby, who have personal issues to that effect, such that they wouldn't automatically suspect that their uncertainty about how they are outside of the show would imply that they don't really exist outside of it. the fact that this revelation about mephone creating the contestants is a revelation at all means that they must all have been created to have some sort of backstory -- they were synthetically designed to be "real", synthetically designed to "remember" a past that would thus influence the way they feel and act today. part of what makes someone "real" or "human" is the fact that their experiences in the past affect them (regardless of whether or not they remember those experiences consciously); we have a continuity. the contestants, having been created in the show's genesis, awoke to feel like they were just continuing a life they already had (but which never existed).

there's some fascinating meta-narrative going on: is it not true, from our perspective, that these characters, these people literally didn't exist before the show? the ii16 twist, in contextualizing everything, makes you wonder about what it means to be a main character in a story -- and, in bow's case, what it means to be a main character cast aside by the narrative...

(just for the record, i don't necessarily believe that mephone consciously made the contestants -- but that doesn't matter to my speculation anyway.)

[thiswasneverthat]

stray kids as your jealous boyfriend

❅ genre: fluff!!

❅ words count: 700+

hyungline version!

bang chan

Chan is not the type of man who is easily caught in jealousy

However, he is not entirely immune to feeling jealous either. It happens only once in a blue moon

When he is jealous, chan will not explicitly say it to his girlfriend though, because he convinced himself that it was a silly reason; a reason that will be frowned upon

But in the end, he will surrender— eventually let his walls crumble down when his girl persuades him

And persuading him will include hands holding, soft caresses on his cheeks or his curls, and sometimes a stolen kiss works even better

“I want you to rely on me.” That is what Chan will say— that is the reason for his jealousy

He is full of surprises, isn’t he? Because, instead of developing a problem in their relationship, his reason only makes his girlfriend laughs

“I rely on you, Chris. I always do.” 

He loves it very much when his girl calls him Chris

“I know. But promise me, next time when you have somewhere else to be, give me a call. Ask me to drive you, not your other male friends, yeah?”

lee know

"What is jealousy? Is that your friend?" Minho will sarcastically ask his girlfriend every time she confronts him about that.

When his 'denied-jealousy' phase is showing, he acts like he is so unbothered, yet when his girl is not looking, he purses his lips into an adorable pout

The reason for his jealousy though, in most cases is because of her friends— her opposite-sex friends

Sometimes whenever Minho is around and any of her male friends stare at her for longer than necessary, Minho will fake a cough and protectively wraps an arm around her waist

A gesture he often does to show that the girl is taken, the girl is his and his only

"You know I love it when you're jealous, right?" His girl will tease him with a smirk 

But, Minho is Minho. Will he admit that he's jealous? Of course, he won't

"Why would I be jealous of those men when I am the one who gets to kiss you every time I want?"

How the table has turned, Minho loves it when he makes his girl blush so red like a ripe tomato

And then, long gone was the jealousy

changbin

When it comes to Changbin, his girl could read him like an open book

Because he is very honest with what he feels

Changbin doesn't see it as a vulnerability to show his emotions to his girl

When he is sad, he will say that he is sad. When he is jealous, he will also say that he is jealous

"I don't mind if you want to be friends with your ex, but can you not smile like that to him? Just smile like that to me only." He will say with pursed lips as he holds her hands

His request then immediately earns a hearty laugh from his girl

"I mean, I can fight, but I do respect your friends."

Oh, what a gentleman he is

The next time when they accidentally cross paths with her ex, Changbin will hold her hand tighter than usual, never leaving her side

But of course, with a friendly smile on his face

hyunjin

Hyunjin truly is a lover boy, just like what his girl loves to call him with

And sometimes a hopeless romantic 

While he believes that his girl is the one for him, he couldn't help but be super protective

Early in the relationship, Hyunjin will show jealousy by cutely sulking or pouting his lips

However, these days though, he only shows his jealousy by protecting his girl

"I am Hyunjin, her boyfriend." That is how he will introduce himself to her friends whom he never met before

PDA slash public display of affection has never been a problem 

Hyunjin will hold her hand or wrap his arm around her shoulders all the time

"I am not jealous, I am just protecting what's mine. You know that, right?" That is what he always says to his girl every time she taunts him about being a jealous boyfriend

[radiant-reid]

Angst/fluff blurb where Spence tells reader they need to take a break it shatters reader and it takes awhile for her to move on and when she finally does Spencer realizes that he made a giant mistake the ending is up to you AS always!! 💙

i just know too many people with this hairstyle that are dicks for him not to be a dick

When you first met him, you would not have labeled Spencer as closed off. He's intelligent, kind, and hilarious. Everything one could want in a boyfriend.

And, of course, he's totally obsessed with you.

He was open, too, more honest than you expected he would be after the years of trauma he'd been through. Getting to know him was like reading a book he was narrating.

But he's not now. He's so absent that when you're around him, in his apartment, all you feel is cold chilling you to your bones. "We need to talk about this." You tell him, waiting for him to sit down in front of him.

He's pacing, and it's annoying you. "We need a break." He says shortly, voice void of emotion.

"Sit down." You urge, your heart clenching painfully. Just those four words are enough to have tears developing in your eyes. "We can talk about whatever is bothering you."

There's been an issue for a few weeks that you've both been dancing around, but it's come to a head when he refused to speak to you on the jet home from your last case.

But you can't lose him. You're too in love with him.

"Please, Spence." You beg, quickly trying to wipe up your tears so you don't look weak.

He looks you up and down with nothing on his face again. "You should go."

No one had ever broken your heart that easily. He didn't even have to say anything hurtful, just a couple of detached sentences and emotionless looks.

So you take the tiny amount of self-respect you feel you have left and walk right out the door, not willing yourself to break down until you you're home and alone to bawl your eyes out.

You keep your knees tucked to your chest on the kitchen floor of your apartment, breathing so unevenly that you start hiccuping as you sob. You trusted him with everything about you because you knew there was no way he'd break you, but you ended up heartbroken.

Penelope knows something's wrong when you don't reply to her calls. She had been hoping Spencer wouldn't end things when it felt too difficult, but she found you heartbroken on the tiles, and she knew he fucked up.

You're not at work for a week after that, missing an entire case with a false claim of illness. Spencer knows something's wrong, and he ignores it, pushing it down like he does to all of the darkness inside him.

Your determination not to let him beat you is what forces you back with a smile on your face and a new haircut, cliche but you can't bring yourself to care.

Spencer's breathless when he sees you, and he knows he looks much worse with his messy hair, unshaven face, and sunken eyes. He doesn't look like he's slept in as long as you've been away.

'Fake it until you make it' is your strategy, and it works externally. To everyone, including Spencer, it looks like you're doing well. A month on, and you're getting set up with Morgan's friends. It's only casual, but it's giving the appearance you're getting back to your old self. As much as you still want Spencer, you can't have him, and as dumb as it seems, you figure pretending to be happy will eventually make you happy.

He knows it when you ask Rossi if you can bring someone to his house for family dinner, and that time he's crying to Penelope.

"You know, I'm actually mad at you." She tells him. "And I hate being mad at you because I hate being mad, but you have wronged that girl, caused her an indescribable amount of pain and broken her heart." It's not the comfort he's looking for, but he knows he doesn't deserve compassion. "You either need to make it right or leave her alone."

He's known that for a while, but hearing it actually compels him to do something. "Thank you." He says quietly, leaving her Batcave in a desperate search for you.

He finds you getting into the elevator, and walks in after you. It's just exactly what you don't want on a Friday afternoon, and you can't understand it when you're previous silent agreement has been to avoid each other.

You don't look at him, gulping as you stare at the floor. "Y/n." He says softly before clearing his throat. "Can we talk?"

Your eyes snap to his with anger. "Really? Now?" You ask furiously, letting out the irritation that had been simmering in you. "When I want to talk, you break up with me, and now you want to talk just because I'm finally happy."

"You're not." He says before he can help himself. "You don't smile properly anyone." He cuts himself off before he can ramble, knowing it will make the situation worse.

As soon as the elevator stops at the parking garage, you get out, trying to get away from him, but not before having the last word. "Just be my ex-boyfriend, not my friend."

He reaches out to grab your hand. "Please hear me out." He begs.

You wouldn't have if he wasn't close to crying, and honestly, you still care so much about him. "Fine." You say, spinning to face him and crossing your arms. If he wants to talk to you, you're not going to say anything.

"I'm terrified." He confesses, the most emotion you've seen on his face in months. "People leave me a lot. And I've learned it's easier to detach myself before I get hurt. I know- I know it's no excuse for hurting you. I desperately want to be with you, and I know it's irrational to think you'll leave me. I'm just... sorry, and I hope you can heal." When he realizes you might not say anything else, he turns to walk away.

This time, you stop him. "Spencer."

It sounds so beautiful coming from your lips, even if you're crying when he really doesn't want you to be. "Yeah?" He's hopeful, noticing the lighter color in your eyes.

"You're right." You tell him, only confusing him. "It's irrational to think I'd leave you. I know you think you're broken or that something's wrong with you, but you're not and there isn't. All I ever wanted was to show you that you're worthy of so much love."

Neither of you can keep the tears in, hearts both hurting for each other. "You did." He assures you. "And I'm eternally grateful. Thank you."

"Spencer, I'm not done." You tell him, turning his gloomy look into something more hopeful. "I want to show you that every day if you'll let me."

"Y/n." He says your name that time. "It's a privilege to be loved by you."

[snowpeachblog]

LOCKLYLE

Specially for those people who say that Locklyle is too hasty in the show. That they fell in love with each other too quickly and it doesn't correspond to the books.

Yes, this is just my opinion, but it was important for me to say this (carefully, there is a lot of text).

SPOILERS!

These are the words of Jonathan Stroud about Lockwood's crush on Lucy:

"I think that deep down he (Lockwood) knows very early on (maybe even in the first book, when he saves her at the well), but he is very bad at looking at his own emotions, so it takes him ages to even guess. I think that when she leaves the company, he is hit hard and probably know then, but he still doesn't show it very easily..."

Lockwood has had strong feelings for Lucy since the first book. As did Lucy to him. This is a fact. But Stroud's romance is very, very weak, and the reader only guesses about many things. But Lockwood and Lucy have always been more than friends. This is noted by everyone around: George, Flo, Holly, etc. Because their feelings are obvious to everyone except Lucy and Lockwood. And this is normal when we talk about 14-year-olds and the fact that Stroud never writes romance openly. That's not his style. But he talks a lot about Lockwood and Lucy's relationship. And it's true that they've always been more than just friends. Their feelings were always strong, even if they denied it.

But what's normal for books can look terrible in the show. In the show, the characters are older, they can't behave like 14-year-old stupid teenagers (yes, they are still stupid 14-year-olds, but it's harder to ignore falling in love). It would be terrible if they did. Lockwood and Lucy in the show are still trying to deny feelings for each other, but they can't ignore their infatuation so easily. They still have a lot of problems and difficulties to face, but they can no longer say about their butterflies in the stomach that it is "indigestion". It was funny in the books, but not in the show. The audience just wouldn't understand it.

But this is the same slowborn as in the books. This is caring for each other, vulnerability, casual touches and tenderness in the eyes... The actors are brilliant. They showed us which Locklyle was in the books. They will demonstrate the full depth of feelings and tenderness to each other with one glance. But they still keep their distance. And they still have a lot of difficulties ahead of them (whoever has read the books will understand). It's just that before this knowledge was available only to the surrounding characters, but now that we are no longer tied to Lucy's subjective point of view, we see the story more objectively. Why shouldn't the audience understand what is obvious to every hero who sees the interaction of Lockwood and Lucy?

The creators understand Locklyle very well. They perfectly spelled out their relationship if the characters were a little older when they met. They are no longer as silly as in the books, their feelings are now more mature and less controllable. This is a wonderful logical development of the relationship between the characters that I saw. It's perfect (God save the show's creators and actors).

And now a little bit about the sore point. I love Locklyle in books. I love them more than my life. But the biggest problem of books FOR ME is that the characters never learned to talk to each other. And that's what has always bothered me the most. Any psychologist will say that Lockwood and Lucy may have problems in the future, because they often IGNORE problems and do not know how to talk about their feelings. It's still hard for them to talk about their grievances, problems, misunderstandings or love. And what's even worse, they can't even admit to themselves some things, let alone tell another person about it. The author delicately leaves the characters "behind the scenes" when they should finally talk about their feelings. I respect this decision of the author and cannot be offended by it. But the fact is that for such closed people as Lockwood and Lucy, it was important to learn how to talk about it openly. It would be important for their development as characters, but no. It wasn't in the books. The final is open and everyone can figure out for themselves how they coped with it.

I'm happy that the characters in the show are much more open to dialogue. Because it gives their relationship a chance. Lucy is finally talking openly about Lockwood's problems. In the book, she only thinks about it, but never voices it directly. And that's bad for Lockwood. He needs a man who will not only follow him to hell, but who after hell will be able to kick his a*s for his recklessness. Who can tell about his problems by looking him in the face to help find a solution later. To say, "I'm here, you can trust me, you're safe." Because it's the right thing to do. That's what close people do. And I'm happy that the creators of the show understand this. In the books, Lucy was always just next to Lockwood. She was his support and his light, but she was content only with the closeness that Lockwood gave her. And it doesn't seem right to me. It is possible that Stroud meant it "behind the scenes", but for me it was a little insufficient.

I'm happy that they paid a little more attention to these things in the show than in the books. Yes, Lucy is much more confident, but she is older. She's not afraid to stand up to Lockwood. And for that, I loved Lucy even more. Lockwood is a little more open with Lucy, but it's logical and right, because his feelings for Lucy make him more vulnerable to her. And being afraid of losing her, he makes contact with Lucy a little more. I also think it's a consequence of Lucy being much bolder and more honest with Lockwood than in the books.

I adore their relationship so much and I will be really looking forward to how Locklyle will be revealed in the coming seasons.

This is what I think about Locklyle and the claims to their relationship.