#She deserves to have a life and struggles of her own outside of being a wife and mom

[bonefall]

i dont mean this to spark a night vs crow debate but doesnt the ultimate guide state that nightcloud's "bitterness toward Crowfeather tainted Breezepelt with its poison" (directly quoting this). i agree that we shouldnt take crow's word on this bc hes a biased source, but the ultimate guide doesnt have a character pov. what are your thoughts on this? idk if its a retcon since its been forever since ive read the mainline. i like the idea that the two fucked up in their own ways.

Generally inaccurate and sometimes containing information that outright contradicts canon, Field Guides should considered very low in a canon hierarchy.

The same field guide completely fails to mention that Crowfeather wasn't only neglectful to Breezepelt, but actively emotionally abusive to him, and doesn't even MENTION that he suddenly blamed everything on Nightcloud.

So I DO feel justified in saying that the field guides probably did contribute in some way to how absolutely obtuse WC fans can be towards the text.

It just Makes. Shit. Up. These authors have had SHAMEFUL levels of misogynistic bias for YEARS and it's never more apparent than when they're writing bullshit summaries like "Ashfur was soo nice and sweet and only loved too much :(" and "Clear Sky was simply being fierce when he was shoving his son's face in a sloppy wound" and then turning around and saying "actually it was the nearest woman's fault"

I pull from earlier field guides as inspiration, but exclusively treat the "summary" ones as insight to what is bouncing around in the brightly colored Moonjump Castle that is the author's minds.

Like the idea that they're "both fucked up" or not, it doesn't change the fact that what the Erins put on the page was an abusive father who tries to deflect blame to his WIFE for making a bratty son, and then took the abuser's side in supporting material for years.

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

The Arcana HCs: When M6 are forced to attack MC

-- to set the scene --

It was a nightmare.

Thick clouds of miasma hung over the city as you and your lover confronted the sorcerer in the fields outside its walls. Between a series of traps and some well-placed taunts, you had successfully cornered them, which meant that while victory was in sight your opponent was down to their last desperate measure.

The measure in question, it seemed, was for the most horrifying three minutes of your life as you watched your lover struggle against a vicious spell before suddenly turning on you. Their usual loving gaze was replaced with a cold glare and they didn't hesitate to lunge at you with the intent to kill. You ended up choosing to take the hits and focus your energy on dealing the last blow to the evil sorcerer instead, not wanting to waste time hurting the one you love.

As the dust settles, you're too relieved to see cognizance return to your darling's face to notice their horrified expression, or to feel your own blood soaking the ground below you.

Julian

Too busy focused on trying to keep you conscious and heal you to do anything else at first. He's already crying, tears leaking from under his eyepatch as he gives you frantic first aid

Can barely bring himself to look at you once you're safely tucked in at Mazelinka's and being tended to by visitor after visitor. You will need to remind him day after day that it's not his fault

And, yes, convince him not to leave you because of it

Still won't be able to find any peace with it until you tell him you've forgiven him, and even then struggles to believe he's worthy of it

Tends obsessively to your wounds, in a weird combination of torturing himself by constantly checking them and redeeming himself by being the one to help his uncontrolled actions heal

Is able to hold it against himself less the less he sees you suffering. Once you're fully recovered and back on your feet, it feels more like a distant nightmare

Has a new interest in learning magic, if only enough so he can protect himself against behind hijacked like that in the future

Asra

Completely numb and on autopilot. You're hurt. They're going to do whatever it takes to fix that. Just hold on, it'll be okay - it'll be okay

Refuses to leave your side or sleep for very long at a time while you're recovering. It's like his world has narrowed to your survival

Unusually quiet. As in, barely speaks unless you speak to them first, and yet hyper-observant to the point that they're bringing you what you need before you even realize that you need it

Neglects everything beyond his own basic self-maintenance in the process. It's easier to forget himself and save his own pain and guilt to be processed until after he knows you're safe

Itching to heal over any scars left over and terrified of suggesting it and seeming like they just want to brush the whole thing aside

Has to be pushed to talk about it and won't open up until after you're completely back to normal, at which point he breaks down and spends an afternoon hiccuping "I'm sorry"s into your chest

Regresses to a lot of their previous boundaries until you can tell them that you still feel safe with them physically and emotionally

Nadia

She has no doubts about you being a strong person. While she's horrified at what her body was used to do to you and the injuries you sustained, she's most upset at her losing control so easily

She feels guilty for you getting hurt, because she's convinced that she should have been able to withstand the sorcerer's spell

Surely, if she loved you as truly as you deserve to be loved, she would've been able to break free or stop it from working

Carries you back to the Palace herself and sees to it that you have everything you could possibly need, before effectively avoiding you for the next few days. She's convinced your relationship is over

Either because you're leaving her for not being able to protect you, or because you've lost your respect for her as a partner

It's also tapping into her own trauma of being trapped inside her body for a three year coma, which doesn't help the frustration

Genuinely unsure what to do with your forgiveness, understanding, and continued love and admiration for her

She doesn't know what she did to deserve you but she loves you

Muriel

The first count he holds against himself is that he hurt you. The second count is that he was so horrified and traumatized by what just happened that he froze while you were still bleeding out

Thankfully there were other people present to help you out, and you didn't have to find out what could've gone wrong

Refuses to touch you for days. If anybody else had caused the damage he sees on your body, he'd be wishing hell on them. Except not only was it his hands that did it -

He was controlled that easily. He's spent years reclaiming control and ownership of his body after being made a spectacle of in the Coliseum, and in a flash it was all taken away from him again

And it was used to hurt you. None of his nightmares adds up to the combination of violated, afraid, and horrified that he just felt

Relegates himself to being your bodyguard and keeping you provided for, but terrified that you're not safe around him until you're able to convince him otherwise

It's still a reoccurring nightmare for years to come

Portia

So angry at you for not fighting back

Already crying and scolding you while she's putting pressure on your wounds to stop the bleeding and helping you get back home

Did you think she couldn't take it? Did you think she wanted you to get hurt at her hands? Why didn't you fight her back if it would have spared you so much pain?

Why didn't you help her enforce what you knew were her own wishes, and at the cost of your safety and well-being too?

Simultaneously dedicating every fibre in her body to taking care of you. If you so much as breathe a little differently she's checking you over and bringing you whatever you need

Eventually able to find her own healing by being able to accept your love and by beating the absolute crap out of the sorcerer in question until she gets an "I was wrong" out of them

Determined to learn defense and protection magic to makes sure neither of you is left that vulnerable, ever again

Still cries when she sees the leftover scars, sometimes

Lucio

Pale from the shock of what's just happened and trying not to panic as he gives you all the first aid he's picked up through years of battlefield injuries and experience

Frantically muttering "don't leave, don't leave" through clenched teeth and pouring tears while he tries to get the bleeding to stop

Rushes you to the nearest doctor and won't leave your side

Convinced that you're not going to be able to love him after this

He knows he's done things worse than this in the past. He knows that you know that, but the thing that's made a better life possible has been his commitment to not being that person any more

And now he was that person. Event though it wasn't his choice and technically not his fault, he still did it. To you. You experienced it

Also worried that you won't understand that it wasn't his fault this time and wondering if maybe it was his fault, somehow

Able to accept your love and forgiveness pretty easily, but has a much harder time believing that he didn't lose all the progress he's made so far in making good use of his fresh start on life

[missingininaction]

alright, friends, i might say something you don't like but i think it's important. not just to defend a character, but because i think this is literally making people's experience and relationship with this game worse.

give jimmy like two seconds to exist.

by hating jimmy so much you refuse to even say his name, and judge real, living people for liking him, you are cheapening your experience by boiling down the main character to the most ~yuckiest~ moments. and, by not making a seperate space for hating on him, you are drowning out the voices of people who actually have nuanced things to say about his character. you know, the skilled writers and artists that feed the fandom? limitation is what kills fandoms, you have to know that.

is jimmy a good person? no. is he a good captain/companion/worker? Absolutely Not! he crumbles like dust under any pressure and he immediately shifts blame off of himself, he is an actively harmful individual and it's right to be upset by his actions. i literally had to stop myself from saying "man FUCK jimmy." multiple times because i didn't want to spoil how terrible he got to my friends when i showed the game to them.

but you have to understand; people are more than their actions. thats part of the entire point of the game. thats why its so abstract. you are meant to think about the nuances of their situation.

we can agree that anya was way more as a woman than what happened to her and what she did as a result of it, right? that despite her best efforts, she was a victim of circumstance, and she deserves to be understood and analyzed fully?

then why, seeing a fictional man who has done immoral things, are you so disgusted you won't even draw, write or discuss him outside of hate? what is that doing for you, to ignore literally the main character of the game because of his actions?

now, this is not to say people can't hate jimmy. i understand it! as someone who has been a victim of s/a and abuse, i understand if you hate him and are even triggered by him to the point of avoiding mention of him. (but...why are you in this fandom? ((not aggressive im genuinely asking)))

you can feel however you want about any character, my goal is not to control people. but i thought it was common knowledge to not hatepost about someone in their tag? over actual insight into his character and, you know, the main themes of the game?

jimmy is a man who has struggled his whole life. both him and curly confirm that in the game. he's unable to control his emotional outbursts, and he likely had no idea what to expect from being in fucking SPACE for over a year with people he probably didn't even know before that trip. and pony express and their corporate safety corner cutting certainly didnt help, did it?

for one reason or another, he most likely was never actually taught how to manage his emotions. that's just how it is sometimes, growing up as a man. and it would make sense if he was forced to deal with everything himself, no? he always complains, but he still says he'll handle it. because that's what he's always had to do. and this is just the start of what i could say about what made him the way that he is.

he's a victim too, not only of his own actions.

surprise surprise, people who do awful things can also be victims.

honestly, this entire situation baffles me. how are you going to avoid one of the main characters of the game, let alone the one you play as ninety percent of the time? mind you, curly is also guilty, and i am happy to see at least some people giving him space for nuance. because he is also a victim!!! why is it so impossible to see jimmy as nuanced, when literally every other character also has incredible depth to them??

you're tarnishing and spitting on the beautiful writing of this game just because one character is too icky for you to feel comfortable thinking about for too long. it's horror, you absolute morons. it's supposed to make you uncomfortable.

if you hate jimmy, i dont blame you. but please, please, make your own space for it. be kind to people who want to explore jimmy and the darker themes, and like him for what his character represents. this is a video game fandom, not a witch hunt. and please, learn some fandom etiquette while you're at it, okay? okay. thank you

also just say his name. its not a slur youre not gonna go to hell if you say jimmy. like this isn't as important but still it just feels like a microcosm of this whole thing.

[i-am-the-n1-trash]

I'm rereading Tim Drake: Robin and honestly, Tim and Bernard's relationship just makes me so emotional. The fact that they both see each other as the 'bad one' in the relationship, with the other being their 'savior' says so much about their previous relationships.

Tim's biggest canon relationship is obviously Steph and, though I love her to death, their relationship was at points extremely unhealthy, and Tim was often shamed for his actions. He's the bad guy when Bruce won't let him tell her his name. He's the bad guy when Darla kisses him without consent. He's the bad guy for avoiding her when she comes back from faking her own death (against her will, I'm aware, but still), even though their relationship hadn't been in good terms at all when she 'died'.

Though Tim has his fair share of romantic relationships, only two outside of Steph, to me, are as meaningful or well-known enough to warrant exploring, and those are Ariana and Tam (There was definitely guilt with Lynx, but that was from the "she's possibly a criminal" kind, and his issues with Cassie come from a very different place too.)

In both these relationships, there are many times where Tim sees himself as the bad guy. With Ariana, he struggles with his growing feelings for Steph and the guilt of keeping a secret identity from someone he loves, not to mention the fact this is his first serious relationship and he constantly feels like he's messing up. With Tam, the secret isn't a problem anymore, but he ends up constantly putting her in danger just from knowing him, and that puts him off the idea of pursuing a relationship with her altogether.

With Bernard, though, it's the first time in a long time he has a complete fresh start. He's been stuck in a cycle of breaking up and making up with Steph, because they see each other as safe and familiar, but even that is something Tim feels guilty for.

Bernard is someone he knew, who Tim has enough history with to trust him, but who he is still getting to know now as the adults they've become, with no expectations of each other. He still sees himself as the bad guy, as the liar hiding his identity from him. They have a couple step backs, like when Tim has to ask him about the cult as Robin, but even then Bernard makes it clear that while he's angry, he understands why he's doing it, by doubling down on the fact that, regardless of Tim's current actions, their relationship is still a happy part of Bernard's life. (This comfort doesn't work that well, because Tim is a dumbass who doesn't realize Bernard knows he's Robin, but I digress.)

Essentially, to Tim, Bernard is the first baggage-free relationship he's had for a very long time, and he's somewhat plagues by the secrets he's keeping from him. To Tim, he is lying and putting him in danger, and Bernard, who he sees as a bright light in his life, deserves better.

On the other hand, we don't have that much info on Bernard's past relationships outside of Darla/Laura and Tim, but it's still easy to see that this boy is overflowing with self-deprecation.

In both Batman: Urban Legends and Tim Drake: Robin we see that his parents are, in the first one, very unaware of his life, and, in the second one, incredibly disapproving of his 'lifestyle' and even borderline emotionally abusive. Bernard really never met their expectations since he was young, and while he seems almost dismissive of this, you can tell it strikes him deep.

The one big thing we know about Bernard is the cult, and that already tells us everything we need to know. No one joins a cult if they have lot of self-love and confidence, especially not when the cult's main idea is to let go of all your problems through torture.

So when Tim, a guy he's had a crush on for years, someone he knows (or eventually finds out, the timeline is ambiguous) is not only a superhero, but his favorite superhero, Robin, he sees himself as dirty. As tainting Tim's heroism. Bernard is a likely depressed queer kid who fell victim to a cult, who has a history of self harm, with a bad relationship with his parents. To him, Tim is the one good thing in his life, and he says it outright even when they are having what's possibly their first big fight (unbeknownst to Tim, who, as I mentioned, is a dumbass <3).

He doesn't blame Tim at all for lying or keeping a secret identity, because Bernard sees himself as second to Robin in Tim's eyes and never once tries to fight back on that idea. Bernard considers Robin to be more important than himself, in general, and doesn't see anything wrong with that. To Bernard, Tim is the best thing that has ever happened to him, and the fact that they're dating is a blessing he doesn't believe he deserves.

In conclusion, these should like. Talk to each other. Please. And also both go to therapy. They love each other so much

[comfortless]

Everything you write leaves me breathless <333

Sorry in advance for my English

I was thinking about König, (maybe in an ancient rome/Greek settling) being so alone and desperate for connection that he turns to religion: one day he's walking in the woods, deep in thought, when he finds an abandoned temple. The inside is small but lavish, with a life sized statue of what must be its goddess. He sees this lovely sculpture, abandoned and alone and sees himself in her. He becomes a dedicated, fanatic and soso lovestruck worshipper. Unknownly to him his goddess, woken by his prayers, has been watching him and listening to him. One day while he's praying in front of her her statue moves and talks and now his deity is in front of him. Looks like he has an opportunity to worship her like she deserves ;)

granting you ten million kissies for this prompt and your sweet words! your English is perfect, little wisp! <3 also… giving me an excuse to write more loner/loner and mutual worship?! you have spoken to my heart…

content/warnings: 18+. minors do not interact. historical/myth au; vague time period, brief mentions of violence, fluff, pining, not very explicit smut, mutual worship.

The spirit of the temple feels disorienting, though the architecture is a still, white marble, the floor riddled with leaves and dirt, creeping up the sides of the building as if river water had washed the entire thing ashore… Something feels very alive here, feathered out on the air, a pulse of thunder, the breeze beneath dove’s wings, enthused and yawning. Hungry.

It only becomes more apparent the closer he steps to the statue.

She is unlike any he has ever seen before, carved with the same skill, but so much smaller than the other statues in their temples, so much more lifelike that he almost thinks to greet her. She’s been painted unlike most, a perfect vision bathed in color where she stands out amidst the sea of white and green surrounding her. The temple has not been stained with blood, no offering strewn before her bare feet, left for the rot or dragged away by the dainty hands of this very goddess. No maidens sit in prayer, no men lower there swords to her…

There’s nothing to tell him just who she is, either.

Despite his better judgment, his hand does find her side, a swift draw up from the vision of her thigh peeking from her robe upward to curl over her hip. Her beauty is unmatched, impossible to describe and the call seems almost tangible, shrieking at him in whispers to bend a knee and let her in. So, he does. He prays to her in the silence, alternating between whispers and his own thoughts.

He tells her of his struggles: a soldier brought in from a small tribe up north, robbed from his parents as a boy, how all he knew now were the Roman ways yet could rarely comprehend their customs and deities. Maybe she could offer him some counsel or solace…? Make the weight of his blade feel less heavy as he struck down men that could very well be his own brothers? Give him something to return to when old wounds reopened and he bled, hurt with no one but himself to tend to his heart or his injuries.

The goddess only blesses him with silence: the wind does not pick up outside, there is no disembodied laughter, no sudden thought of an offering or new words to speak to her. She is void of an answer just as the very temple she waits inside is empty of all else.

This does not dissuade him from returning.

Returning to the city after another battle some months later, his first thought is to return to her, to leave the things he’s taken from dead men at her feet, to paint the temple with the blood lingering on his weapon. There is honey, wine, meat and jewelry made of stones from the sea. There is brittle, dried flakes of blood polished from his blade and left to settle onto the floor like the leaves of late autumn. He presents these things to her with a grin, thinking that assuredly this goddess would call back to him then, grant him with a love so consuming that all of the evasion and emptiness cursed upon him would be untwined.

He kneels before her statue, presses his cheek to her thigh, sighs content at the feel of cold marble against the ever-burning of his flesh, gazes up at her like an adoring dog.

Assuredly, if this temple were built for a being that did exist at all she would know just how she was all that this lonesome soldier had, would know the way that he loved her and waited with bated breath and heartstrings pulled taut for her to love him in turn. A greedy, begging muzzle that utters his prayers, words he’s never spoken to anyone whether deity or mortal, only to her in the quiet of the forest.

It’s not madness that provokes him, but the gentleness of her face and the tender look in her eyes, an expression that no other had ever offered to him, no one but this little forgotten goddess. Whether pitying or loving, he did not know. It was only enough to keep him returning: for many days, his path from the city led straight to her feet, even some nights were spent lying upon her floor, finding peace finally being able to sleep next to something apart from lonely walls.

The sun rises and sets each day where he sits and speaks to her as though she were a living, breathing woman. Occasionally he reads aloud to her in the stillness, cheekily tells her when another goddess’ name is brought up within the lines of poetry that they could never hope to compare.

It’s ridiculous when he does not even know what purpose she serves, but this silent figure is his only companion, the only thing that sets his heart ablaze and mind focused in battle because above all else, he has to return to her. Though she can not share his words, he knows somehow that she shares in his loneliness.

Finally, he thinks to ask her the question that has been burning at the tip of his tongue for weeks and months. One, that he has tried to hold back, display a patience that he lacks. It’s after a night of sleeping on cold marble, an ache in his neck from its hardness and his own refraining from bringing a cushion from his own home in his desperation to return to her.

“Why won’t you speak?,” he asks, somber as he makes his way to leave the temple, only halting in place to cast her a fragile look from over his shoulder. He has read the epics, heard the stories and seen the blessings of other deities… Yet no matter what he does or how often he tethers himself to her leg and dotes upon her, she still meets his devotion with nothing but her silence in return.

König is left with the thought that his gifts are not enough, that he, himself, is not enough, even as her sole devotee. To keep his mind preoccupied, he keeps to the city for a time. The bed is cold, the people still see him as a barbaric outsider, and the horrible coil wound around his heart only seems to tighten its grip further. He feels as though he has left a part of himself out there in the forest within the four chalked walls of her temple.

This loneliness does not feel like one he is forced to swallow down, it feels like a vicious sort of ache, the twisting of a dagger beneath ribs to sink in and steal away what little of a life he does have.

He returns to her the following night, with a furrowed brow and a grave look upon his face. There’s an intent to demand she free him of her, that this longing finally pass, but as his sandals reach the entrance to the temple, those thoughts fall away from his mind like droplets of rain, a cool drizzle that begins to fall outside the very moment he is sheltered.

The statue— the goddess moves.

She tilts her head and inspects him fondly, the perfect mouth he has envisioned speaking to him so many times prior tilts upward in the gentlest smile as her bare feet move to carry her body forward.

“A test,” she explains as though answering his question from only the past day, almost saddened by her own words as her gaze lowers to the space between them.

König’s heart does not roar then, it only melts with the knowledge that someone like her has been left alone for so, so very long that she felt the need to prove to herself that he would return to her side. He would. Time and time again he would. When she raises her head to look him in the eye, her own clouded and misty, he only silently prays that she could see such a vow upon his face.

“I am worthy then?,” he questions, forcing himself to remain rigidly in place despite the call- the urge, to circle her, just once, drop at her feet to then feel her pulse beneath his fingertips. Anything. Even an assurance would be reward enough, but there is always a greed in the hearts of men, one he feels burning a hole through his very being even now.

Her lips press to a line and her gaze seems faraway, lost in her own thoughts that must be as mighty as Olympus itself. After a time, she only answers in a soft whisper, “It is I who am unworthy of you.”

All discordance in his chest pulls to a halt at this, all apprehension and sadness are whisked away when she instead comes to kneel before him. She curls her arms around his leg, presses her cheek to his thigh as he had done so many times before. The goddess gazes up at him with not just affection… but reverence, as though he were the strongest warrior of myth, deserving of even the love of something only as ethereal and sweet as she could provide.

His breath catches for a mere moment before he lowers himself at her side. The stares exchanged from both are full of an unspoken wonderment, all of the things that words alone would fail to speak in truth.

He waits out the rain there, sat beside her with the air surrounding them charged with such a great and unspoken affection that even Venus would taste a bitter envy on her tongue should she pass by to see.

She tells him she can not recall what she was the goddess of… or if she was ever truly any goddess at all. The marble surrounding her was put up for a purpose, but she’s never seen the Elysian Fields or climbed Olympus on her own. Her memories are scattered blurs, and she confesses that she feels tired when she tries to parse things together in a way that he will understand.

He listens while he tends to her by offering the honey and dried meat left in offering for her here, then fetches fresh water from the stream that brooks several yards away and returns to her side with a face both damp and flushed.

König tells her of his life too, how during every battle since stumbling upon this sacred place he has kept her in mind; he has no wife to return to, no other women to bed, that since their meeting his life has become hers. He confesses he had the intention of returning only to force a curse upon this madness that had enveloped him, but… he could never have brought himself to do so, even if she had not appeared to him warm and breathing.

Her laugh then could have prompted waves of flowers to bloom and birds to sing in tune, whimsical and so precious he only begins to feel himself fall, truly. Not out of sheer desperation, but with genuine affection.

When her exhaustion does take her, she does not mind the way his arm curls around her middle to tuck her body closer to his own. The goddess has no fury within her, only mirrors his own feelings with a fluttering of lashes and a soft sigh.

So she sleeps, pulled close to him like a lover rather than a stranger. When dawn breaks, when König knows he’s to be called back to train and fight with the other soldiers, have dull talks about what land to cross and take for their own next, she tells him she will wait there for his return.

He can not concentrate as well on his training this day. The plans for future wars and battles do not send flurries, hot excitement through him. The world is an endless gray, reflected above with darkened clouds threatening further rain. There is only one place he wishes to be, one that yearns for him more than his own home or the women waiting on the street for coins the other men readily supply. When one, a native Roman, does ask him why he does not just venture to the brothel to put himself in better spirits, König only grits his teeth to still his hand from quieting him eternally. These men knew nothing of the love he feels, and certainly they didn’t deserve to.

The temple is no different from how he found it the night prior. The goddess sits with her hands curled in her lap, smiling just as fondly at him as she had before. His heart shatters at the thought that she had sat there waiting for him in such a way all day. He swears to her that he will have a proper bed made for her, bring her the softest of furs and cushions stuffed with downy feathers to lie upon. For now his offering is only fruit and wine, things that she shares with him while she shushes his concerns with quiet words and gratitude that he had returned.

She lowers herself again before him after pulling her robe free and lying it upon the floor. It is no proper bedding at all, but she swears that it is enough, that his own warmth is just enough for her to be sated and comfortable. His head swims when she kisses his thigh, drags her lips up from his knee to rest there with that reverent look in her eye. Mortals coupling with deities was not unheard of, but to think it could happen to him…

She is a goddess. How is he supposed to… How could he ever dirty her with himself? He thinks to refuse her before she tugs away the barrier of fabric between them and takes him into her mouth. Stunned, he only watches her, feels her in a way he has never felt a woman before until he finds his voice again.

“Lie down,” he breathes, shaky and tentative as he rests his hand upon her cheek. She complies, giddy and content when she’s splayed out on the white robe beneath her, legs parting immediately and her arms reaching upward to invite him into her hold.

There’s no tact when he lies atop her, feels the warmth of her thighs around him and her arms curled over his neck. His forehead is pressed to her own when togetherness is found, and when she sighs so soft as she envelops him in full, his mouth descends upon her own.

She doesn’t praise him, doesn’t need to in words, because the muffled sounds and cries that leave her lips are more than enough to spear him onward. König, however… he babbles ceaselessly, overwhelmed and overcome by such a profound joy, he can not keep himself from reciting every word that comes to mind, whether vile or pure.

“My goddess,” he whispers into her hair, eyes half-lidded and dazed with each shallow thrust. “We could have had this for a season… you have made me wait so long, hm?”

The way she feels is unmatched, he thinks, when her breathing shudders and she only seems to constrict him further. To think he could bring a goddess to ruin… the grin that crosses his face when he pushes his head against her neck is bordering on both ecstatic and cruel.

“I will give you a demigod,” he hisses against her throat, not at all subtle about just how far he was willing to go to keep her here. With him. More than Olympus, she belonged beneath him, and the tremor that wracks her form then is all of the confirmation he would need.

She sobs his name when the tension becomes too much to bear, fingernails graze the flesh of his shoulders as she shudders, falls into such bliss that her words of praise come incoherent and weak. He follows her to a saccharine abyss with a guttural groan.

The aftermath is softer than any other moment he has shared with her. There are an abundance of kisses pressed between them, littered across her flesh and his own with whispers that leave his mind cloudy. Her worship is subtle by comparison to his own, coming in honeyed stares and such words he would never dare to repeat, no lowly poet deserved to ever hear them, their voices could never compare to her own.

The goddess holds him close, bumps his nose with her own and makes a promise; she tells him for as long as he shall live that this temple was as much his home as it were his own. That even when this body of his does die, she will seek him out in the Elysian Fields, lie at his feet as he had done her own; that no matter what may come, they will never be apart.

[messiahzzz]

i have been thinking a lot about mystra’s relationship with gale, how reducing her to “his ex” really is an understatement. she was and still is so much more than that. moreover, using the term “ex-girlfriend” in relation to her plainly feels wrong and diminishes the influence she has over him, as well as the role she played in his life since his childhood (and it also trivializes the abuse he suffered through her).

there are several instances where gale gets defensive when his companions mention or ask him abt mystra. he claims that their relationship was no less real even though most of their interactions were incorporeal.

we have already established that gale is an unreliable narrator in this particular case, still not having fully come to terms with the fact that he was groomed, manipulated and abused. he ping-pongs between bouts of realization (even in his romance), gaining clarity that he was merely used and eventually discarded and that mystra never truly cared for him, back to making light of his situation, idealizing her once again. realizing the extent of his trauma, that he is indeed a victim in this scenario, unlearning what he has been made to believe from a young age is a slow and painful journey. he is in the process of healing, but it takes time. time he deserves just like anyone else.

which makes me wonder what their relationship really looked like, once the lines between teacher, muse, and lover began to blur. i also feel like one of the reasons why part of the fandom still struggles to identify mystra as his abuser, is because she is a white woman who initially presents herself in a soft-spoken, benevolent manner… and well, the fact that gale himself is ambitious to a fault and a lil insane about the promise of power. he also briefly mentions "crossing mystra’s boundaries” when he confides in tav and tells them about his folly. (“i am, after all, the villain in this story.”) which led to a looooot of misinterpretations.

leaving the overall lore and mystra’s treatment of her other chosen aside — what we can discern from her interactions with gale in-game, is that mystra is civil as long as she remains in control and gale follows her demands, but as soon as there’s even a slight mention of challenging her power or defying her rule, she rather quickly changes her tone.

there is also one particular exchange between them that just won’t leave my head:

“you were many things to me, but never a threat. and never a savior."

even if we choose to blatantly ignore the fact that mystra is a deity, his goddess - there is no possible way that their relationship ever could have been equal by any mortal standards. the power imbalance that comes with her being his teacher and a symbol of his admiration, plus the sheer control she holds over him and his powers are simply too great. don’t even let me get started on how it is a common tactic of abusers to isolate their victims from any outside influences so they can exert full control over them. and how up to meeting tav and their merry band of misfits, every single soul he was close to was inevitably tied to mystra in one way or another. he briefly mentions his colleagues and then there’s elminster, also mystra’s chosen and former lover, and tara, who is a fine wizard in her own right. he spend so many years in service of her, dedicating his life to her, that now there is no one left he can truly call a friend. most of his little anecdotes and stories he tells are restricted to his childhood and university days, everything else was mystra.

evidently, ordering gale to detonate the orb is the most efficient course of action in her eyes. he is just as expendable as any other mortal, after all. maybe once significantly more useful given his status and the extent of his powers, but she doesn’t feel sorrow nor remorse for ordering him to end his life. his death is simply the most convenient means to an end.

another thing i would also like to briefly touch upon is the trigger/detonator itself. a dagger to the heart. it could have been literally anything else, a simple incantation. it is well within mystra’s power to stabilize the orb and also to remove it from his body entirely. but no, what she requires of gale is to stab himself. one might argue that it was simply a cinematic choice meant for a more dramatic effect, but it really leaves a bitter taste in your mouth. especially considering the fact that she is commonly known and referred to as a jealous goddess. it almost makes it seem like yet another form of punishment or mere pettiness. after his long period of isolation, gale is now surrounded by fellow humans. people he cares about, even perhaps people he might eventually consider good friends — which is enough of a reason for him to not want to die, to keep going and try to find another way, rather than to blindly follow mystra’s bidding. now there’s a group of people who support him and are genuinely invested in him staying alive. hmmm...

[codeinesturniolo]

Lover, You Should’ve Come Over ⤹˚˖ ♫ ୭ `✦ ˑ ִֶָ 𓂃⊹

PARING : matt sturniolo x fem!reader

WARNINGS : none

˖ . ݁𝜗𝜚. ݁₊

In the quiet, rain-soaked streets of a small town, the echoes of Jeff Buckley's haunting melodies hung in the air, weaving through the lives of its inhabitants. The song "Lover, You Should've Come Over" played softly from an old record player in a dimly lit room, setting the stage for a tale of love, loss, and longing. This is the story of Matt and Y/N, two souls bound together by an unbreakable yet tragic bond.

Matt was a young man with a heart full of dreams and a soul that resonated with the music he adored. His life had always been a series of melodies, each note a step in his journey. He found solace in the strumming of his guitar and the lyrics that seemed to speak directly to his heart. It was during one of his late-night performances at a local café that he first laid eyes on Y/N. She was sitting alone, a book in her hands, her eyes distant and filled with a sadness that intrigued him.

Y/N was a mystery wrapped in an riddle, a beautiful yet fragile being who seemed to carry the weight of the world on her shoulders. Her past was a tapestry of pain and sorrow, each thread a reminder of the battles she had fought and the scars she bore. Despite her struggles, there was a spark in her that drew Matt to her like a moth to a flame. He saw in her a kindred spirit, someone who understood the depths of his emotions and the intensity of his passion. Like if he had been living in grey scale and she was the first thing he had ever seen in color.

As their paths crossed more frequently, Matt and Y/N found themselves drawn into a whirlwind romance, their connection deepening with each passing day. They shared their hopes and fears, their dreams and regrets, finding comfort in each other's presence. Yet, beneath the surface of their love, there lay a darkness that threatened to consume them both. Y/N's struggles with addiction and self-harm cast a shadow over their relationship, creating a chasm that Matt desperately tried to bridge.

Matt's love for Y/N was unwavering, his determination to help her unwavering. He stood by her side through the darkest of nights, holding her close as she trembled with the weight of her demons. He whispered words of comfort and hope, trying to pierce through the veil of despair that enveloped her. But as much as he tried, he couldn't save her from the pain that gnawed at her soul.

Their love story was a symphony of highs and lows, a testament to the power of love and the fragility of the human spirit. Matt and Y/N's journey was one of heartache and healing, a bittersweet reminder that sometimes, love is not enough to conquer the darkness within. As the rain continued to fall outside, the echoes of "Lover, You Should've Come Over" lingered in the air, a poignant reminder of the love that could have been.

As the days turned into weeks and weeks into months, Matt's life became a delicate balancing act. He juggled his music career and his devotion to Y/N, often sacrificing his own well-being to ensure she was safe. He watched helplessly as she spiraled deeper into her addiction, her once bright eyes now clouded with despair. The nights were the hardest, as he lay awake, listening to her cries for help, feeling powerless to ease her suffering.

Y/N, on the other hand, was trapped in a cycle of self-destruction. She loved Matt with all her heart, but the demons inside her were relentless. They whispered lies, convincing her that she was unworthy of his love, that she was a burden he didn't deserve. She pushed him away, hoping to spare him the pain of watching her fall apart, but Matt refused to leave her side. He held on to the hope that one day, she would find the strength to overcome her struggles.

One fateful evening, as the rain poured down in torrents, Y/N reached a breaking point. The weight of her addiction and self-loathing became too much to bear. She locked herself in the bathroom, tears streaming down her face as she stared at her reflection in the mirror. The person looking back at her was a stranger, a shadow of the vibrant woman she once was. Desperate for an escape, she reached for a bottle of pills, her hands trembling.

Matt, sensing that something was terribly wrong, rushed to her side. He banged on the bathroom door, his heart pounding with fear. "Y/N, please open the door!" he pleaded, his voice cracking with emotion. "I love you, and I can't lose you. Please, let me in."

Inside, Y/N hesitated, the sound of Matt's voice cutting through the haze of her despair. She wanted to believe him, to trust that his love could save her, but the darkness was overwhelming. With a final, anguished cry, she collapsed to the floor,

˖ ݁𖥔 ݁˖ 𐙚 ˖ ݁𖥔 ݁˖^ྀི˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚ ˖ ݁𖥔 ݁˖ 𐙚 ˖ ݁𖥔 ݁˖^ྀི˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚ ˖ ˖ ݁𖥔 ݁˖ 𐙚

part 2 will be out soon !! maybeee

[draco-spencers-paramour]

May i please request a slytherin reader where she gets in trouble with umbridge and is punished with a "i must not tell lies" scar on her arm. She tries to hide it from draco but he finds out? Ive always wondered how draco would react ;) thank you in advance!

yes i���m on it!! x

draco malfoy x fem!slytherin!reader

tw: torture, violence, mentions blood loss, angst, fluff reader discretion is advised. And this is quite long

seeing between the lines

you knew it was a bad idea joining Dumbledore army after Harry had asked. But after all, Hermione was your best friend, to Draco’s dismay and you were the go between being a Slytherin you had access to the plans of the Inquisitorial Squad unfortunately led by your boyfriend Draco.

You felt awful lying to him but you were also angry at him for trying to destroy Harry and his friends, the DA to be specific which he was yet to find out that you were apart of. However it all fell apart for you very quickly when you were discovered by Crabbe and Goyle practicing defence spells with Parvati. They escorted you both to the office where you were met with the shocked face of Umbridge. You gave the two boys a fleeting death stare as to warn them off of telling Draco that you were part of the DA. “Restrain them.” Umbridge smiled as the Slytherin boys tied your hands to the chair.

“I am truly disappointed girls. Why ever were you engaging in such treacherous magic.” she clasped her hands together as you and Parvati glanced at one another fearfully. “In all due respect Professor, we were just having a little bit of fun it was nothing serious.” She furrowed her brows, still with that wicked grin on her face and walked towards you slowly “Don’t lie.” you shook your head “I’m not professor.” the next two seconds were a blur as she smacked you straight across the face “I told you not to lie Miss y/l/n. With many years of experience in the ministry I know a defence spell when i hear one. Unfortunately you will have to face consequences now.”

Tears brimmed in your eyes from the sting of her slap as you saw yourself in the mirror she had also drawn blood from your cheek. She turned to Parvati who was practically shaking in her chair “Are you practicing defence magic with other members of your class Miss Parvati? Like Mr Potter perhaps.” you knew how good of a liar Parvati was “No Professor. Of course not, it’s against the rules.” Umbridge took that bait.“One month detention. You can go now Miss Patil but I’ll watching you.”

The gryffindor girl nodded before being released and practically running for her life out of Umbridge’s office. “Now what to do with you Miss Y/L/N.” you struggled against your chair and she shushed you “Now now. What’s all this commotion? You’ve disobeyed the rules surely you realise you deserve to be punished.” you shook your head squeezing your eyes shut. “You think i don’t know about your….relations with Mr Malfoy. Which too, is also forbidden in my school. I suppose I should punish you for that too. However Draco has been more that helpful in assisting me to keep this school in order so I’ll spare that punishment…for now.”

She circled around to her desk draw, taking out her wand, a piece of paper and a pen. “I would like you to write lines for today’s punishment. You will write I must not tell lies seven hundred times on this piece of paper. You will not be released from my office until you have finished.” Crabbe released one of your hands “Wait outside the door please boys and lock it.” Umbridge explained. Your stomach dropped and you picked up the pen with a shaky hand before you started writing. I must not tell lies I must not tell lies I must not tell lies. as you began to write line number 15 you felt a sharp stinging pain in your arm.

You rolled up your sleeves and saw your own writing cutting into your skin. You eyes began to water again as the pain got stronger. You pleaded with Umbridge as she sat watching you, the happy expression never leaving her pug-like face. “Please…no.” you said in choked whisper. She sighed and shook her head “I feared you’d say that Miss Y/L/N. Now carry on or I’m afraid I will have to take matters into my own hands. I don’t like disobedient children.”

You carried on writing, each sentence cutting in the same spot in your arm making you cry out in pain until you could no longer write. Umbridge took clear joy from your punishment and stood up coming around her desk once more “I’m afraid you’ve left me with no choice but to carry out it myself.” she fluttered her eyes with evil intent. “You’re the devil.” you cried , straining against the chair “That is an a terrible thing to say to your headmistress. You horrible little girl.” and with the flick of her wand she carried on the sentences, carving into your arm making you scream out in pain.

It went on for almost 4 hours. Even Crabbe and goyle felt bad and knew that they wouldn’t be the only ones able to hear your blood curdling screams that could wake an army. But everyone knew where they came from and who was causing them. The who would be the mystery unless the boys and Parvati were to tell people that it was you being punished which they probably would. When you were finally released, it was nightfall and you were seriously injured. “Mr Goyle please come back in.” when the boys opened the door and crabbe nearly passed out from the sight of you, half of you soaked in your own blood and struggling to stay conscious, surprised you were even alive.

“I hope you learned your lesson Miss Y/L/N.” You dragged yourself to the hospital wing assisted by Goyle “You tell Draco… and i’ll kill you.” you choked out at the boy holding you up. He said nothing and nodded. Goyle was going to tell Draco no matter what you said. Madame Pomfrey attended you immediately, luckily there were no other students in the hospital wing. She patched you up with a sympathetic look of deep concern on her face “Stay here till morning and then you can go back to your dorm. But you must rest for a few days. You lost quite a lot of blood.”

You sighed weakly lying in the hospital bed as pomfrey connected your bandaged arm to an IV and within minutes you were asleep. When you awoke the next morning you felt a hand holding yours. Opening your eyes you were met with the puffy red face of Hermione. “Mione.” you smiled groggily. “I’m so relieved you’re okay.” she wiped her tears and rubbed her thumb over the top of your hand. She helped you sit up in your bed fluffing the pillows behind you “I’m guessing Parvati told everyone.” Hermione shook her head “Just the DA. To keep everyone vigilant.” You bit the inside of your cheek nervously “Could you hear it? When Umbridge was punishing me?”

She cast her eyes to the floor “I was in charms class at the time but I’m pretty sure everyone could Y/N. You know thats how Umbridge frightens students to follow her orders. Remember when it was Hannah?” you rolled your eyes “I know. But everyone will gossip about it today.” Hermione gave you a weak smile as you continued “Wait. Draco’s in your charms class.” “Don’t worry Y/N. He looked visibly uncomfortable when it was happening but I don’t think he could tell it was you. Parvati covered for you and told him you were studying in your dorm and didn’t want any distractions from anyone. Whether or not he listened to her is another matter entirely.”

“Right well I better not waste anymore time he’ll be looking for me.” You insisted. Hermione shook her head “It’s sad really. He’s your boyfriend yet…” you finished her sentence “Yet he’s the head of the inquisitorial squad determined to rat everyone out just keep him and his idiot friends out of the trouble. Mione I know, I currently hate him for it.” She helped you up out of bed as madame pomfrey came over. She took your bandages off to reveal a fresh red cracked scar reading i must not tell lies.

Hermione observed your arm with a deep frown on her face “Oh Y/N….” you shrugged dejectedly as pomfrey collected a clean uniform and set it down on your bed. “I’ll still do whatever I can to help. Even more so now this happened. That she-devil needs to be chucked out of this school.” You pulled on your uniform making sure the scar was hidden under your jumper. Your arm was sore but it wasn’t unbearable you prayed Draco wouldn’t notice but you knew that facing him was going to be difficult for you.

You walked slowly back to your dorm, deliberately stalling. However it was no use and before you knew it you were making your way through the door of the common room. Of course there Draco sat on the plush green sofa. You immediately felt a lump in your throat and pretended not to notice him like it would solve the problem. He watched you walk by small smile on his face at your absent mindedness. As you got to the bottom of the stairs you felt is his arms wrap around your waist “Where are you off to my darling? I knocked on your dorm this morning but you weren’t in. I feel like I haven’t seen you in ages.” draco sighed into your neck.

you turned yourself out of his hold looking up at him to meet his icy blue gaze “Sorry went to the library I’ve just been studying a lot. I’m still quite busy Draco so I’m gonna get back to my dorm” his brows furrowed “But I didn’t see you all day yesterday. Had to put up with all that screaming from Umbridge’s office and Patil, a gryffindor, letting me know that youd locked yourself in your dorm to study. Cant I just hang out in your room or you can come to mine-“ you felt yourself beginning to choke up and get angry at his words so you cut him off “Draco. I’m busy. Not now.” and you took off up the stairs as he stood rejected watching your figure retreat into the dark hallway.

You threw yourself on your bed sobbing into the pillows. You had no idea how to act in front of Draco. You were so angry yet you loved him so much. For the rest of the day you showered and got into some comfy clothes before catching up on some schoolwork and getting some more rest. You felt your stomach begin to rumble so you got up again and trudged your way down to the great hall. You came down into the common where unfortunately Draco and all his friends were still sat. Blaise noticed you first and nudged the blonde boy. Draco looked at you hopefully as you ignored him once again.

“Y/N.” he called out to you. Internally cringing you faced him with a polite smile “Hi.” he scratched the back of his head “Did I uh- do something?” you shook your head as you felt the anger bubble within you “It just seems like I have. You’ve been acting really off with me today. Are you feeling ill? You don’t look well. You’ve been studying too much.” you rolled your eyes as your saw the other boys listening in on your conversation “I’m stressed, I need to study I already told you. Or is that not okay? I don’t want to do this in front of your mates Draco.” you turned to go back to your dorm but he grabbed your arm. The one with scar making you cry out in pain. He noticed immediately “Shit, are you okay darling? Did I hurt you?” You stepped back from him “No it’s fine. I just want some alone time Draco, please.”

You went back to your dorm even though you were starving and after an hour you eventually gave in. Giving it one last attempt you headed down to the great hall without any attention seeking from your boyfriend. Crabbe, Goyle and Draco were still sitting in the common room although this time there was no laughing or joking that could be heard “We have something to tell you.” Crabbe played nervously with the hem of his robe ��Okay? what?” Draco looked at the boy suspiciously “You won’t like it.” Goyle admitted.

The slytherin prince sat back into the sofa “Well now you have to tell me. Is it to do with the DA? Cause you know we need to go to umbridge immediately if there’s information you’ve found.” Goyle sighed “No but well..sort of. Its complicated.” Draco frowned “For God sake spit it out.” “It’s Y/N.” Crabbe confessed “What are you talking about?”But if there was ever worse timing for you to return the from the great hall, this was it. you heard the heated exchange between the boys and caught Goyle ratting you out to Draco as you opened the common room door

“We saw her performing a defence spell with parvati so we took them to umbridge’s office. But we didn’t realise Umbridge was going to punish her with the lines. So the uh…the…the screams were hers. She was bleeding, that’s bit of an understatement really. And then I took her to the hospital wing after Umbridge had…finished with her. But I had to Draco.” You stormed into the room “Goyle! You asshole I told you not to say anything.” you yelled as Dracos heart dropped and eyes widened with horror as faced you.

“What? You mean yesterday when…all those screams..that was you.” his body when numb. “Yes. it was.” You eyes produced fresh tears as they flicked between the three boys “It’s your fault. All of you. Especially you Draco. You and your stupid fucking mates, you’ll do anything to destroy Harry. This is what your doing to people. To me. The person you love and the people trying to save this school from deatheaters and voldemort.” You screamed at him,rolling up your sleeve pointing at your arm with tears streaming your face as he stared at you as you headed off back to your dorm.

Draco ran after you shutting the door behind him “Y/N I-“ you cut him off, shouting “That monster of a woman tortured me for hours for using one defence spell. One. I nearly died! And yes I am part of the DA before you ask. I have to be if I want to survive in this school. God, Draco if anyone should be helping us it’s you! You hate your family and everyone knows they’re deatheaters anyway.” admittedly you felt bad for saying it but it was true. You turned away from him, sitting on your bed and sobbed “Go on turn me in then.” silence. You faced him again “If you have nothing to say then leave.”

he sat down and suddenly grabbed your waist, pulling you into his lap “i’m sorry. i’m so sorry.” he whispered over and over as tears streamed down his face “i love you. forgive me.” his gaze flicked to the scar on your arm, feeling wracked with an overwhelming guilt. You both held each other until your crying had turned to sniffles. Draco held one side of your face as he cradled the rest of your body “I can’t tell you how much I regret acting this way. You wouldn’t have suffered if I hadn’t have been Umbridge’s pet. That woman deserves Azkaban.”

You smiled “It’s true. You’ve definitely made yourself even more hated than usual. You know that Umbridge is insufferable and inquisitorial squad is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard of. You lot made a lot of people suffer.” Draco hung his head in shame “I know. I promise I will spend a lot of my free time hating myself.” you giggled nuzzling into your boyfriend “Well I’m glad you feel that way. Though there is one thing you could do. You could stay in the inquisitorial but you wont tell on anyone. Make Umbridge think everything’s perfect and let the DA carry on to drive her out the school.” He nodded “If it protects you, I’ll do anything.” you gave him a stern look “So you’ll stop going after Harry too?” He sighed “Yes I will stop going after Harry. I’ll even talk to my father and the ministry about Umbridge.”

He kissed you deeply stroking your hair “I promise, anything for you. Now let’s rest and let me take care of you sweetheart.” You laid in your bed with Draco, his arms wrapped tightly around your body coaxing you off to sleep. And for the first time in a long time you felt hopeful about the future.

hope it’s not too dramatic lols. Also if you are following my Draco series I’m am still continuing with it I’m trying to finish the next chapter xx

[hajimedics]

relationship charts between my fop ocs and their respective groups

A BIT OF RAMBLE HA HA HA!!!!!!!

tsubaki's whole deal at school is that she lied about being an esper and has to rely on kira to back up her frauds despite her reluctance on making wishes. hazel's hot on her tail. she suspects that girl genius might have a magical being on her side. tsubaki suspects the same with hazel and forms this one sided rivalry with her. hazel thought tsubaki was kind of mean and thinks she's flaunting her academics. however as they spend more time together and get caught in supernatural situations, they began supporting one another and telling each other to think about what she wants for her own benefit (tsubaki to hazel) or relax for a bit and not think everything and everyone's out to get her (hazel to tsubaki). also tsubaki hangs out with the hazel gang when she doesn't have cram school for the day

tsubaki and dev did not get long. they both came from harsh home lives (obsessive parents, neglectful dad) but they don’t see eye to eye because they have opposing attitudes and values in life. tsubaki thinks you only deserve good things if you work for it while dev gets everything handed to him on a gold platter. she also thinks dev doesn't deserve his godparent or anything good in life (words that later push them to understand each other better). dev looked genuinely upset, she later apologized, and they became.... frenemies? rivals? they still throw jabs at one another but tsubaki wants to put in effort to make more friends thanks to hazel's encouragement. when they're older they became close friends and catch up on how each other's doing despite not going to the same schools after elementary. it's cool.

NOW ONTO KIRA AND PERI. MY FAVORITE.

kira believes the fairy world is hypocritical. he doesn't have world domination plans (that one goes to irep) but he wants to change fairy world for the better and make the fairies realize the flaws in the godparenting system, and what better way there is than through peri?

peri's both a fairywinkle and a cosma, he's the first fairy to be born in 1000 or so years, he's incredibly powerful and harbors massive potential, yet his powers is kept under control in that glass orb. peri is also new to godparenting while kira has thousands of years of experience. kira's witnessed many things that gave him such views (kids with abusive parents, homeless kids, sickly kids, mentally ill kids, etc), and he also noticed that peri is struggling with his first godkid and is such a stickler to da rules that it strains his relationship with dev. he must've noticed it too, right? how he and dev are at odds due to peri's reluctance to give him the things he wanted, how he and irep aren't really as close as they were when they were children. kira knows peri's naive, not stupid.

kira's not going to manipulate peri or straight up force him to do anything but he does want to become a presence in peri's life so he can open his eyes and change fairy world for the better ("a good godparent wants to see their godkid happy, right?"). he wants to guide peri in the path that he thinks is right. unfortunately they don't see eye to eye often so most of their conversations are at benches outside the school while their godkids are in their classroom

[bouquetface]

Navamsa Observations 7

WARNING: Remember this is not a personal read, sharing a few placements will NOT promise the same outcome.

8th H ruler in 11th H - This can indicate gaining through the courts. When paired with many divorce indicators, I always see this as people who gained through divorce. If a well placed benefic like moon in libra sits in 11th, it can be a considerably big amount.

7th H ruler in Aqua - If paired w/ divorce indicators, this can show there is distance between the person and their spouse. They grow detached over time. Due to Saturn being the traditional ruler of Aqua, this happens slowly. There is no one big incident that drives the couple apart, it gradually happens.

Rahu in 2nd H in D9

In certain cases, this can indicate a very late marriage. To be sure, one must check entire D1 and D9.

This shows after marriage or later in life, a person separates from their family. This can be due to conflict or simply the person must move to a different state/province or country.

One big thing is this shows you will exaggerate in speech. In a sign like taurus, you can exaggerate your wealth and possessions such as cars or homes. BUT the spouse will correct you even if you're in front of people. FOR EXAMPLE: You tell you friend "we went bought a house in [a popular city]. The spouse will say "no technically we live a a 15 minutes outside the city". The couple will bicker. The spouse will not support what you are saying just because they are married to you. They will challenge and correct you. Depending on entire chart, this can lead to conflict or simply be an annoyance on a few occasions.

If Rahu's depositor is strong, you can become wealthy later in life. However, Rahu is NOT a benefic. I have noticed there is always a catch with rahu.

FOR EXAMPLE: I have seen this as struggle throughout one's entire life and finally in their 60s they became VERY wealthy. Only to die shortly afterwards due to their poor eating habits & smoking (they had diabetes and lung cancer). They once said it was the stress of their life that made it impossible for them to stop smoking. In his case, he had an exalted Mars Cap conjunct a benefic (Venus) ruling his rahu in 2nd aspecting an exalted Saturn Libra.

So due to rahu's nature, when you get wealth, you may not even be able to enjoy it fully. Depending on the entire chart, this placement can have the reverse affect too. You can become a liar and thief. You may not become wealthy and it becomes an obsession in your mind. It leads to negative thinking later in life as you feel you deserved more from life.

This placement is a BIG indicator for you needing to financially support your marriage/family. Regardless of your gender. Later in life, likely there is a point where you become the breadwinner.

I see too many people letting their own bias affect how they interpret these observations. For accuracy, you need to look at D1 and D9 - looking at one placement in each will not tell you the full story. This is NOT a personal read.

The sign these planets are in will change the outcome. The aspects will influence the outcome.

Even a well placed Rahu in 2nd of D9 shows debilitated eye sight and bad habits. You may need glasses, you may have an eye injury. You can eat unhealthy later in life - you can become a drinker, smoker, you can eat many red meats.

Another interesting thing about this placement is within the year you marry (before or after the wedding), a sibling will have an important life development. IRL EXAMPLES:

ex.1: A few months before this woman's wedding, her sister announced she was getting a divorce.

ex.2: This woman's sister announced she was pregnant AT the wedding. In this case, it upset the woman, she felt her sister had made the day about her. She has 11th H ruler in 6th in D1 so the relationship has never been the strongest. The elder sibling acts as an enemy/hater in this person's life.

ex.3: This woman's brother began university the year she married. This doesn't seem as big as the above examples but it is a huge milestone in life.

D1/Natal:

YOUR ELDER SIBLING'S MARRIED LIFE:

This can be seen in your own chart. 11th house shows the elder siblings in vedic, 7 away from 11 shows their marriage. If 7 away (your 5th house) has malefics or ruler placed negatively, your elder sibling may divorce.

ex: 5th H - CAP, ruler Saturn afflicted in 10th h - this can indicate your elder sibling's divorces. This is because the 10th becomes the 12th H for your siblings - this is the house of loss amongst other things. When afflicted shows a divorce or major hardship in your elder sibling's marriage.

This method can be difficult if you have more than one elder sibling. I am just mentioning it as fun/interesting method. Of course their own chart will hold more power over their life.

YOUR YOUNGER SIBLING'S MARRIED LIFE:

In vedic, 3rd H is your younger sibling. 9th H becomes their 7th house. This can provide a little insight on their married life.

EX: 9th H has Rahu, this person's younger brother cheated on his wife. 9th H ruler (Venus) was conjunct a malefic (Sun) in 2nd h (which is the 12th H for your sibling.) Their brother got a divorce.

Using someone else's chart does not give full accuracy. As 3rd H is also cousins and you may have multiple younger siblings. Their own chart will hold more power.

[sunofpandora]

Hii could I ask a request for Lo’ak or Neteyam with a shy Na’vi reader?

𝓓𝓮𝓼𝓬𝓻𝓲𝓹𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷/𝓭𝓮𝓽𝓪𝓲𝓵𝓼/ 𝓼𝔂𝓷𝓸𝓹𝓼𝓲𝓼

Neteyam Sully x Fem!omaticaya! shy!reader.

Y/n was always a shy person. Growing up a war orphan, being raised alongside the sully kids, forging a bond and finding a plantonic soulmate within Lo’ak, a sisterhood rooted with Kiri and Tuk, a somewhat chaotic friendship with spider, She finds herself on a winding path of romance with the eldest sully brother….

Disclaimers:

Mentions of parent death, undiagnosed social anxiety, mentions of fear, panic attacks, nightmares,

Tooth rotting fluff.

Spider and Lo’ak being ‘y/n protectors’ 

Neteyam wanting to strangle them for it. Kiri being a crystal girlie. Tuk being a menace.

(This is not proofread or edited and was written on a phone.)

.𖥔 ݁ ˖☾𖤓.𖥔 ݁ ˖.𖥔 ݁ ˖☾𖤓.𖥔 ݁ ˖.𖥔 ݁ ˖☾𖤓.𖥔 ݁ .𖥔 ݁ ˖☾𖤓.𖥔 ݁ ˖.𖥔 ݁ ˖☾𖤓.𖥔 ݁ ˖.𖥔 ݁ ˖☾𖤓.𖥔 ݁ ˖

Trust is a fragile thing. And most protect fragile things.

Sometimes, trust struggles to cross borders where shadows of regret and heartache dwell.

Sometimes we are held back, and our fears lapse until we are nothing more than lingering whispers in oblivion.

Y/n wasn’t a fragile thing.

At least, that’s what Jake convinced himself.

Jake Sully never saw himself as a father. 

Yet again, he never saw himself as 8 ft and blue either.

But I suppose sometimes we don’t find what we are looking for. We find something far deeper.

When Jake had his children, he was able to heal some of the scars of the past, some of history’s cruel rhyme schemes. Lapsing glimpses of the ones he had lost.

Watch a new life grow, vibrant with color from the gray-stained past. 

When Neytiri lost Tsu’tey, one of her closest friends and allies, it was like losing a brother. Sometimes soulmates are siblings, where others saw a replacement, a place holder for the sister she had lost, she saw Tsu’tey. The closest thing to a brother she would ever know.

Tsu’tey’s mate, Säyaron, the sole survivor of the couple, became pregnant a short while after Neytiri. 

Losing the child’s father, a detrimental dent in the woman’s life.

Säyaron was a fierce woman.

Chasing waterfalls and leaping over fire pits for the thrill. 

Everything made of revenge and fire coursing through her veins. Säyaron was a creature of habit. Like Neytiri, an archer. The finest of aim, the deadliest of gazes. A woman with lightning under her skin, her fingertips lingering the softest of touches in which she only reserved for her child.

Säyaron became ill, shortly after Y/N turned 3. 

Recovery was impossible. Säyaron’s daughter was placed in the hands of her people to raise. The omaticaya was entrusted to guide her.

Neytiri and Jake made a promise to themselves that they would honor Tsu’tey, and Säyaron’s legacy and many following, looking after this child as one of their own.

Th3 bravest of warriors deserve honorable epilogues.

☼.⋆｡𖦹 °˖☼.⋆｡𖦹 °˖☼.⋆｡𖦹 °˖☼.⋆｡𖦹 °˖

But have no fear. 

Where an epilogue begins, a second story surely follows.

Y/n was born a few months after Neteyam. 

Raised alongside the Sully children, Y/n was a rather quiet little one.

Y/n often dwelled herself with Norm’s bunch. The war orphaned children he ‘adopted’ soon after the battle of the hallelujah mountains, Spider included.

Although, Y/n wasn’t one for crowds.

Her shyness built herself a barrier from others, and sometimes a rather strong one at that.

She fared well with Lo’ak, Kiri, even Spider. But outside of the small circle of sully’s, her attamepts at socializing seemed to lapse over dead ends, to no avail. 

But she wasn’t fragile.

No. Fragile wasn’t the right word.

Soft?

No. Soft is for objects. 

 Poor thing would even flinch when Jake would drop something, or when little Tuk would start wailing during her infantry years.

.𖥔 ݁ ˖☾𖤓.𖥔 ݁ ˖.𖥔 ݁ ˖☾𖤓.𖥔 ݁ ˖.𖥔 ݁ ˖☾𖤓.𖥔 ݁ ˖

“Shhhh…ma’prrnen…”

Neytiri cooed, scooping up Tuk from her tiny woven made carrier.

Y/n peaked out from behind the small bow holder, sat perched was a couple hunting spears and the bow that was formerly eytukans. 

Neytiri smiles at the child.

“Y/n, would you like to hold her?”

Neytiri reached her free arm out, motioning the little one over.

Neytiri hadn’t adopted y/n, not to the same degree of officialness as Kiri.

But the little one was still one of her children. Under her care, her love, her guidance.

Y/n froze up. Her tail twitched, her ears pin back, she shook her head and scurried away. Slinking back into the corner hooded by the shadows.

.𖥔 ݁ ˖☾𖤓.𖥔 ݁ ˖.𖥔 ݁ ˖☾𖤓.𖥔 ݁ ˖.𖥔 ݁ ˖☾𖤓.𖥔 ݁ ˖

Jake looked after Y/n like a daughter. 

Holding her small hand within his whenever the family traveled, keeping her close, his eyes lingering on her for just a beat longer whenever Lo’ak dragged her off to play some stupid game.

Children aren’t perfect. 

Of course, if there’s one thing Jake has learned from becoming one of the people, it’s that na’vi are significantly better people than humans. Smarter, that’s for one. Their fingertips stained with the brown dirt of the great mother’s skin instead of the oil that rusted off of the RDA machines.

Na’vi may not be human, but they are still people.

Imperfect, flawed creatures at times. 

When he first met Neytiri, he had no knowledge of this. Blinded by the beautiful, towering azure-skinned goddess she appeared as, who fancied herself Cupid, striking an arrow through his heart in all the wrong places.

As he learned, as he grew, he realized that Na’vi weren’t aliens at all.

Children still bickered over toys and petty games, teenagers still gossiped over who wore the feathered top better, or who hunted the most game, who was to be mated first, and last.

Jake’s children were typical examples of this.

“Why should I let you have it?!”

“I had it first!”

“Did not!”

“Did too!”

“Lo’ak you liar!”

Jake sighed, rubbing his fingers against his temples, hitting the pressure points Mo’at taught him about, attempting to soothe the headache that brewed.

Ah, the joy of children.

He glanced over at Lo’ak and Kiri, the trouble twins, as Jake called them. 

Lo’ak, the spawn of recklessness in every form.

Boyish as the word comes, you find sensitivity, if you turn him over, backwards and then upside down again, and graze your fingertips over the right edges.

Or in his case, one fingertips too many.

And Kiri, a mysterious creation. Who’s heart beats with the rhythm of eywa’s pulse. Who’s eyes longed for otherness.

Things that grew beyond the edge of her grasp. Beautifully out of place.

He peered down at Y/n, who had perched herself next to him. A feather top covered her chest, similar to the one Kiri wore., handmade by Neytiri.

Her hair, a dark void of charcoaled honey brown, small beads adorned the shoulder length braids. 

Jake sighed, running a hand along her back.

“What are we gonna do with them, babygirl, hm?”

Y/ns ears perked up, looking up from the small flower stems she was braiding.

Y/n was a shadow.

Slipping into backgrounds, the darkness in small corners and shades of trees becoming a sanctuary of silence.

A shell of what Jake was accustomed to. Jake didn’t like silence. Silence was daunting. It’s something that demands attention.

Y/n wasn’t silent. She was quiet. There’s a difference. A paradox of hidden things could only be heard when gently whispered, not pried open.

She fiddles with the woven strands on his armband, he allows her, his voice quiet to not overbear her. 

She treats the flowers like living things.

Gentle, small things with lungs and a heart, just like her. When Lo’ak was 4, y/n 5, he grew a habit of carelessly stomping through the tswakesyul flower bed whenever he and spider raced up the creek, the small noises of nervousness that fell from Y/n’s lips, little hands itching to wilt them up to their right side again.

Where others looked over a tiny, withered voice and shaky hands, stuttering speech and unbraided hair that was known as Y/n, Jake and Neytiri saw a child who cared. Longed for something to protect without the consistency of burdening noise to shake her.

A child who watered the flowers, planted extra seeds, picked more fruit than she could carry because she cared too much.

Jake watches as Y/n carefully braids the flowers. Her fingers weaving between the stems, gently cradling stories.

Stories?

Yes, Stories.

Plants harbor memory. 

Memories that we cannot see.

Well, Jake can’t at least.

Where he saw a leaf, Y/n saw a piece of the great mother that had grown through the seasons, refusing surrender during Great storms, but instead be blown with the wind to find itself placed here, on the ground. Stories of stars and wild skies, such fragile things like flowers spoke to her.

“I HATE YOU!”

“I hate you times Infinity, Lo’ak!

Penis face-!”

“Hey! That’s enough. Don’t make me come over there.”

Jake glared at his two children.

Kiri huffed, her chin tilted up in disapproval of Jake’s intervention.

She was Grace’s child, through and through. Don’t believe me? Grace’s sass still haunts us all.

“She started it!”

Lo’ak protested, snatching the toy away from Kiri who snickered as she whacked him with her tail.

“Ow! Dad-!”

“Enough. Kiri, go over there, Lo’ak, you over there.”

Jake stood up, withdrawing himself from his peaceful spot in the shade with Y/n.

Grabbing Kiri by one arm, Lo’ak by the other.

“No fair. Dad, we wanna play!”

Kiri whines.

“Then play away from one another, please?”

 Lo’ak huffed, like the petty 7 year old he was, 

“Fine. I’m gonna go play with…”

His hands dangled at his sides, eyes flickering for his next victim-

I mean playmate.

“Y/n!”

Before Jake can protest, Lo’ak jogs his way over to Y/n. Roughly grabbing her by her arm and dragging her away towards the shallow creek, Jake sometimes took Neteyam to practice fishing.

A small squeak of surprise leaves Y/n’s lips.

”lo’ak! Gentle for Eywa’ s sake.”

Jake scolded.

Lo’ak waved his dad off, ridding his remark from the Pandora air.

“We’ll be back soon! I promise! We’re gonna go play in the river!”

“Be home by sundown. And be careful!”

Jake sighed, taking Kiri home to go play with baby Tuk and Neteyam.

.𖥔 ݁ ˖☾𖤓.𖥔 ݁ ˖.𖥔 ݁ ˖☾𖤓.𖥔 ݁ ˖.𖥔 ݁ ˖☾𖤓.𖥔 ݁ ˖

Spider roared playfully as he chased Y/n and Lo’ak.

Lo’ak, Spider, and Y/n forged themselves into a nest of chaos.

It stunned Jake, to see two na’vi children treat a human like one of their own, helping him re-twist his locs and paint his skin the colors of their culture in hopes it’ll stain itself a new life in its wake.

It scared Jake, in a way. 

To see bonds forged out of something so undeniably dangerous.

The kind of paradox of love that was stitched together out of mismatched pieces.

They fit if you place them in the right position.

The deepest rivers, the vastest of oceans, kindred with the sun, the moon, the stars.

You can’t have 1 without the other 2 tagging behind.

Trust. That’s what the 3 had.

Neytiri and Jake watched from afar, their looming shadows remaining unveiling over their children.

Neytiri saw spider as nothing but a burden.

The type of animal with no hope of survival, but refuses surrender. It clings to life even in the excess of misery.

Neytiri’s anger was a shallow thing.

Yet, it roots itself deeper than Jake could reach. A daughter of the forest, whom dances where other struggle to stand on uneven ground.

When it came to Spider, it awakened A destructive havoc we call distrust, introduced officially as our antagonist.

A costume. An actor. Entertainment in its most pathetic form. A pale child painting their self blue.

Wishing for the type of dream that lets him sleep in longer.

That’s what Neytiri saw.

When jake looked at Spider, he saw an unfinished canvas.

That’s why Spider paints himself.

“He belongs with his own kind.”

Jake looks towards his wife, his eyes glancing a pattern between the trio and his mate.

“He’s just playing.”

Jake adds, the mumble lingered in the pandora air.

Neytiri clicked her tongue, wincing a bit as she watched the boy roughly pull on Y/n’s tail.

Something she would have considered harmless roughhousing, if Spider was a na’vi child.

Neteyam peeked from behind his mothers leg, his tail flicking curiously as he watched his brother, Y/n and spider run around.

“I am the hungry thanator! Coming to eat you all!”

Spider hissed, running to catch up with Lo’ak and Y/n.

“Not with those legs you’re not!!”

Lo’ak jumped into a higher branch, one which spider couldn’t reach.

“Lo’ak! No fair! I can’t reach!”

Spider complained, attempting jumping for a few failed attempts at catching the mischievous na’vi boy.

“No way! I’m not trying to get eaten!”

“I’m still on the ground!” 

Y/n waves her arms around, signaling to spider to come get his free meal.

Y/n wasn’t like Lo’ak. When she played with spider, sparing him the difficulty of things his body wasn’t made for. 

Spider’s eyes lit up and he roared once again, charging at Y/n, feet assaulting the ground beneath him with splashes in the shin-deep water.

Y/n squealed and found herself tackled by the human boy.

“Caught you! Now I will feast!”

Spider laughed.

“I’ll protect you Y/n!”

Lo’ak tackled spider, Neteyam watched as chaos ensued between the three.

“Neteyam, you wanna go join them, bud?”

Jake nudged his eldest lightly.

But teyam shook his head, his feet rooting him close to Neytiri.

Neteyam was jealous. 

No. He wasn’t gonna admit it.

To see y/n with spider and Lo’ak, yelling wildly, as if the two reckless boys barricaded her in a circle of safety in which she could shed her skin and become her true self.

Why couldn’t she have that with neteyam?

Neteyam thought of himself as a nice person.

Neteyam had a fascination with Y/n.

Often found himself trying to climb over the barrier she had built around herself.

Jake called it a ‘puppy crush’.

What’s a puppy? 

Neteyam didn’t know. Nor did he care, really.

At age 8, Neteyam was the kindest soul you’ll ever meet.

Kind, gentle, beloved by all of his friends in the village.

And trust me; teyam had lots.

Quite the popular kid.

There was a time where Neteyam was following his father, bow in hand, his steps unfaltering in speed, skipping over rocks as he trailed behind Jake, whom walked with his head high, ready to take his eldest fishing.

“Alright, bud. Gotta make this one quick. I promised your mom I’d get you home before sundown.”

“Okay dad…”

Neteyam’s words trailed off as he found his steps lacking perfect pace behind the taller na’vi.

A bit beside him, a na’vi girl came into view, quietly poking and picking at the flowers with a steadied gaze.

Stomped on, withered tswakesyul under the fingertips, it only took him a second to realize it was Y/n.

Neteyam’s feet moved before his mind could.

“Y/n?”

She squeaked at the sound of his voice; her eyes widening a bit; and she stared like a deer in headlights.

“Hi teyam.”

Her voice is quiet, a fragile thing.

“Whatcha doing? Is that a flower? It’s pretty. Tswakesyul are mama’s favorites-“

Neteyam pauses mid sentence as he sees Y/n struggle to answer his overwhelming questions.

Her mouth opens and closes, but no words form a grand execution.

Choppy breaths, stuttered scentences.

Neteyam sits patiently, awaiting her voice to flood his ears.

Neteyam was a kind child. Patient like his mother, growing into a noble warrior with dreams of ikran wings and victorious wind races, running through lightning and chasing rainclouds.

To execute these wild fantasies?

He couldn’t. 

It was like a wall he couldn’t climb.

Even at 8 years of age.

To give in, to fall off the edge, it was like a rope constantly pulled him back to safety. To familiarity and warm scents, to comfort and warm touches from dying fire pits, in a way he envied Lo’ak, who ran through wildfires like it’s his life mission.

No cozy fires for him.

Neteyam never saw y/n as a fragile thing.

Not a thing to be studied or observed.

And yet, the girl whom showed a rare generosity towards something as fragile as a flower….

It enraptured his heart.

Neteyam, once 8, is now 19.

Muscles rippling, stance widening, strength conquering.

He was everything.

He was a hunter, stealthy, silent, graceful, like his mother.

He was a warrior, proud, confident, intelligent like his father.

Expectations were heavy things. Tying him down like weights to a shoulder.

Growing as the future chief, the son of Toruk Makto. Neteyam found himself stuck under an un-surrendering shadow.

Neteyam was sunlight. A tyrant of honor, violent with color, sun-streaked glowing flaxen running through his veins. Reminisce in his laugh, it’s bright enough to challenge the sun and the sky. 

 Haunted by the atonement of loneliness, with the unburdened carefree childhood withering away with each year.

The vexatious luminescent deity we claim to be sunlight, provides no sanctuary to a shadow.

He was the dawn that climbed the mountains slowly at first light, he was the sunsets that bleed through the sky, a lingering shield that protected the lands from the thousand eyes that would soon litter the dark sky, withering into a thin strip of horizon.

Neteyam never stood where he couldn’t see. 

The sun that became mere background noise, a shadow of a looming ruler who no longer throned once night fell.

Watching the moon glow, constantly providing, but never falling off the edge.

With the vengeful thief we call time, Y/n grew into an 18 year old.

Y/n Is a shadow. Dwelling under dim fires, glowing under the moonlight. Sometimes Neteyam thought the universe could fall apart in her hands, and she’d whisper to it like one of her flowers.

A kaleidoscope of perfect curves and colors, sunlit eyes and gentle hands.

Y/n yearned for darkness.

The quiet of the night, the whispers of stardust, the heartbeat of the moon.

where she can touch the consolation within isolation. It is not loneliness she desires, but fixations on the introspection of her affection.

Where she can unravel stories in the leaves, the trees, the earth, the petals of a tsawkesyul.

Neteyam fantasies sporadically.

Dreaming is a dangerous thing.

Is it wrong?

That he yearned for her like she yearned for her flowers?

Had dreams of kissing her neck, dragging his nose along her pulsepoint

feeling the curve of her hips beneath his palms?

Feeling her breath, her heartbeat.

To thread his fingers through her braids. To love her. To kiss her from teh perfectly curved cupids bow and down, worshiping her every breath.

Oh Eywa. Let him pretend.

Let him pretend like the day he stood behind his mother’s leg, watching Y/n and his brother. Pretending it was him, pretending he was with her then.

Pretending he was with her now.

Pretending he was hers. Hers to ruin, hers to kiss, to gently drag her fingertips over.

He longs for her laughter. To chase one another while the sun burns out, the sky submerging into a sunset violent and rebellious with color. The last salvageable stretches of sunlight flirting with her eyes, she serenades him with the aubade of her laughter. Proclamations, promises, and monuments fade behind him.

Those unscathed hands cradling her stories. Her flowers. Her sun

He wants to be her sun.

Trust me.

Trust me please.

Look at me.

Can’t you see me?

Neteyam wants to scream it.

Trust me to treat you like one of your flowers.

Neteyam was sunlight.

Y/n was a shadow.

Can we be an eclipse?

⋆｡˚꩜⋆☼.⋆｡𖦹 °.𖥔 ݁ ˖☾𖤓.𖥔 ݁ ˖⋆｡°✩｡⋆☾☼⋆｡˚꩜⋆☼.⋆｡𖦹 °.𖥔 ݁ ˖☾𖤓.𖥔 ݁ ˖⋆｡°✩｡⋆

First request finished! this will become a mini series. I’m thinking 3 or 2 parts? The next parts will be WAY less fancy and extra I promise. This was just kinda a build up to Neteyam and Y/n’s blossoming romance. im actually so excited for this work and I had so much fun writing it. writing it was kinda a blur, yk? like I just sat down and thought “shy reader? Okay-“ And then I started typing and I couldn’t stop 😭

taglist꩜⋆☼

@neteyamsoare

luv you bby hope you enjoyed 💙

[wildemaven]

first anniversary | dieter x poppy

A Sweet Creature

Ava Greene sits down with actor and friend, Dieter Bravo. Hollywood’s new leading man gets candid about life in front of and behind the camera. He talks about his latest movie, his commitment to his sobriety and his newest role— husband?!

Ava Greene: You're approaching three years sober now, how are you feeling?

Dieter Bravo: Probably the best I’ve felt in a long time. Sobriety is a day to day progression that I take very seriously, and I try to not lose sight of that even when I’m having bad days. Though, I’m grateful bad days have been few and far between at this point in my sobriety. I can attribute that to the support system I have built for myself through friends, family, my sponsor that I still work with and most importantly my wife who keeps me grounded daily. They all continue to keep me in check and remind me how awesome my life is, especially right now. Staying clean is a full time commitment, and it’s really a beautiful thing.

AG: You followed in your famous parents footsteps by going into acting and your career and struggles with sobriety have been well documented but your parents have rarely commented publicly, are they supportive of your work and your journey?

DB: For me, I don’t need them to make a show of it by commenting or sharing their thoughts publicly to know they support me. There was a point in time where they did all they could do for me, but ultimately it had to be my choice to make the decision to get clean. Thankfully, we’ve been rebuilding our relationship over the last few years. And being in the public eye for most of our lives, the last thing we want is for outsiders thinking they have a say in our lives. In short, yes I have very supportive parents in all aspects of my life and I’m so happy for that.

AG: This is your second project since rehab, are you viewing this as a comeback or a fresh start?

DB: Comeback? I didn’t know I left… Kidding! Sure, some might say it’s a comeback. A fresh start. Whatever analogy best fits the narrative is fine by me— and I don’t mean that negatively in any sense. I mean, you’ve known me long enough to know I just try not to focus on any of that stuff, messes with my fucking brain waves. I just see it as me doing what I love with a new perspective and a different approach to choosing what projects I’m going to give my time to than I have in the past.

AG: What can you tell us about this project and the character you're playing?

DB: I had the best f*ckin’ time while shooting this film— sorry, but the emphasis was needed. I was really drawn to the vibrancy that this script evoked, even with the serious nature of the storyline and characters. I couldn’t stop thinking or talking about for weeks afterwards. I’d sit with my wife at breakfast and we’d discuss the script and my character for what felt like hours. I knew after I heard her feedback that I needed to be apart of this film— she might have said I’d be stupid to say no to it, in her own loving way.

The film is really about the process of rediscovering yourself. Navigating the challenges that come along with being at your lowest point and leaning on the ones who have been there for you. It’s about finding love in its purest form when you never thought you were deserving of it.

I found bits of myself in this character as we were filming, it was very much a cathartic experience for me. I guess you could say it was art imitating life in a weird way.

AG: There's already been some buzz about this year's award season, do you think this is finally your year?

DB: Ooooh! Is it too presumptuous for me to say yes?! I’ve started dusting the spot where I plan for it to go. I sound like some sort of pompous idiot! Now no one is going to go see it!*

I take it back!

In all seriousness, ‘cause I’m sure Poppy and my agent will be rolling their eyes when they read this. If all I get is a couple nominations, that alone feels like winning. A shiny statue would be nice though— just saying.

AG: You've talked often about your love of art and you recently purchased a gallery. Are you planning to publicly pursue other creative endeavors?

DB: I won’t be joining American Idol anytime soon if that’s what you’re asking. Oh, you weren’t referring to my ability to hold a note during our many karaoke nights— noted!

How did you put it? Other creative endeavors? I’ve got a few art pieces in the works right now that I’m itching to dive back into when I get home. I’ve got a major gallery in LA lined up later in the year for an artist spotlight exhibit, they’ll be housing some of my work through the next year. Shoutout to my wife for getting that all lined up while I was away shooting this film.

AG: What's next for Dieter Bravo? Any other projects lined up you can tell us about?

DB: I’m looking forward to some downtime I have coming up. Poppy has the summer off, so we’ll get to finally live that newlywed life. Settle into the role of doting husband while she does her thing at the gallery.

AG: Off the record, if you got married and didn't tell anyone I will kick yours and Poppy’s ass!

DB: We’re celebrating our one year this month actually. We eloped quietly last year right after we got engaged— wanted to keep it to ourselves for a little while. Which reminds me, you and Bryony should hop on a call with Poppy after this. Seeing as I let the cat out of the bag and this is our announcement— surprise!

Huge shoutout out to @gnpwdrnwhiskey for allowing me to borrow her Ava from Conversations with a Movie Star for this. Ava was so gracious and even wrote the questions herself. I’m so grateful for Lellen and all her support and advice she had given me throughout the writing process of Sweet Creature!

Sweet Creature Celebration

[rosenotactuallyquartz]

“noticing pink's better behavior, y and b think she should have her own colony. white insists she hasn't really changed. she'll never change. she gives pink a colony - if only to prove pink will fail” — end of an era, page 77

“but pink did change! pink did grow! rose was different! that’s why pearl was inspired by rose, or wait... rose was inspired by them! —end of an era, page 26

“determined to be everything that white was not, she is close with everyone, flexible in everything. love and fun are the rule, and there are no rules, and everyone is the most special!” —end of an era, page 76

as someone who deeply relates to rose and absolutely adores her character, end of an era always finds a new way to break my heart every time i read it. rose spent her early years on homeworld being told that she only caused harm, that she was destructive & powerless. she believed that if she disappeared—whether she was playing in the garden for ages or faking her shattering—everyone would be unfazed. she could only throw parties to celebrate the accomplishments of others because she wasn’t seen as fit to achieve anything herself.

& a very important part of her early years is that white believed she could not change. no matter what she did, she would always remain the same. bad, destructive, & powerless, only making things worse for those around her.

what immediately follows this is the war, which worsens her trauma & self blame. throughout the rest of her life as rose, opening up about her past is incredibly difficult. she keeps secrets & she’s deeply ashamed of herself. she can’t accept herself, she can’t love herself, & she always fears that if her loved ones knew about her past as pink, they wouldn’t love her either. not because they’re unloving, but because she’s so ashamed of her past that she doesn’t feel deserving of love.

but end of an era also mentions that her loved ones would have been much more understanding than she could ever imagine. opening up about her past would allow her to see the whole picture and understand that she is deserving of the love she receives, even when her flaws, past, & everything she’s ashamed of are out in the open.

something similar happened with pearl’s character. being open with her loved ones about her trauma helped her see the situation from outside perspectives. she felt truly supported, which made it easier for her to recognize her own strength & worth, among other things.

the truth is, rose did grow. she simply couldn’t see it. she changed in a way that was very powerful, really. she was never perfect (and she didn’t need to be, even if she was expected to be on homeworld) but she lived on earth as a person who could finally fight for what she believed in and she did everything she could to ensure that her closest loved ones were in an environment that contrasted the environment that white gave her. it’s incredibly tragic that rose’s homeworld trauma worsened her struggles to open up to people because she felt ashamed, and her self hatred also made it difficult for her to see all the good things she did—all the traits she had that contradicted everything that white would say she was. rose was loved, not for what she’d done but for who she was… in a way that she never could have imagined on homeworld.

[holdmymetaphor]

okay heres some things about houses childhood i think about

theres clearly a few dynamics here

-he hates his father, resents the abuse, recognizes that bad things were done to him

-probably when he was very young, he didnt understand why bad things happened to him, was not intentionally A Bad Kid

-because he surmised his dad was not his dad at 12 i assume the abuse started from a young age.

-house mentions ice baths and sleeping outside, but he also mentions his father not speaking to him for months at a time, which is interesting to me. when house tries to qualify the severity of abuse to eve he says "not as bad as your [trauma] if how your acting about it shows how bad it is." which to me is pretty noncommittal. was he doing that bc he was still kind of lying, trying to get info out of her? if not, it seems like house is actually unsure of how to qualify his own abuse, which would lead me to believe it was largely emotional and verbal. although i suspect that his father did physically abuse him at times, to me this exchange implies that house thinks the ice baths and sleeping outside were the worse of it (interestingly both acting on his whole body and ability to regulate temperature)

-at some point he acts out intentionally, instead of unintentionally, bc his father is Wrong and shouldnt be abusing house in these ways(the fact that the thing he wanted to hear from his father was "you were right, you did the right thing" 😭😭)

-this leads to worse and more cruel punishments, which house both detests and wants to avoid repeating. furthering his resentment, but reinforcing his fathers authority

- despite his knowledge that his father is wrong, his dad claims to do these acts out of love, to teach dicipline, to toughen him up. (in this way his struggle with god is really an allegory of his father: is it better he hates me (i deserve pain) or loves me (i dont deserve pain) when he does awful things to me? or is it better for him to not exist at all (things just happen, there is no deserving)?

-in my perspective, especially as house got older, into his teens, he was actually probably really "well behaved" finally smart enough to fake social cues and swallow his pride so that his father wouldnt hit him or what have you (which is why he regresses to a child often as an adult, because he was not allowed those things)

its interesting to me, to see how all of houses character is shaped around the shadow of his father. the parts where he is similar: rigid, principled, yell-y, and where he is intentionally different: encourages independent thinking, respects challenges to his authority (only when he has authority lmao that all falls apart when people take his power(read:agency) away, his biggest trigger)

and none of this even gets into his mother, blythe (a word which means both happiness and bland disintrest) which is a whole nother can of worms. the fact that at the funeral she said that "the war was over" (which implied that no matter how much house actually listened to his father, there was still a part of him that couldnt help but to point out the logical issues, and therefore continued abuse)

lastlly, she had said that john loved him. which i think house believes to be true. especially when he tries to talk to his dead father in season 6, he says "i think i focus on the wrong things," implying that he did want to find some peace with that relationship, and that he wanted his fathers love, despite it being illogical, painful and confusing.

that he was willing to look past the abuse was shocking to me, because house is right his father shouldnt of abused him. but it was coming from a place of love, however ill concieved.

this is as close as we get to house praying to god. to admit that the suffering of life cannot be defied or denied, and grasp for the love nestled in between all the pain, however flawed, wrong, or illogical.

in a lot of ways, his story is so much about houses struggle with the body, its agency, its disability, its doom. he literally becomes a doctor to grasp with this ideologically (at times paradoxically) instead of physics because his question isnt really about existance in general

its about why he exists in the broken, painful way he does. and at the end of it, he sets down his need for an answer, righteousness, and admits that despite it all, his body cant help but love. and that love is the death of him. the end of his suffering.

[oggirlboss]

༺ ♰ ༻ eat! ༺ ♰ ༻

pairing[s]: rich! yandere!levi ackerman x anorexic!afab!reader

warning[s]: disordered eating, insecurities, and implied [light] stalking.

summary: reader struggles with eating healthily and levi isn't blind to it.

artwork belongs to gemmsenn on twitter [i refuse to call it x]

word count: idk, work with me here

the last bell of the day resonated in the hazy minds of everyone in the classroom. the teacher sighed, quickly jotting down the page numbers for the upcoming homework assignment while everyone scrambled to put their school supplies away into their backpack. you piled all your books into your bag and slung it over your shoulder as you morphed into the crowd that was forming at the door, pushing and shoving past each other into the hallway. you tried your best to weave through the sea of people, carefully maneuvering yourself to avoid all contact with unwanted persons. upon emerging into the sunlit courtyard, you began your trek back home. it's roughly two miles to get from school to your house, but the walk home wasn't very familiar yet. you started walking to and from school at the beginning of this week so you could get some extra exercise in each morning and afternoon. you were glad for the opportunity it provided you and your mother because she didn't have to worry about driving you, and you didn't have to worry about her pestering you into eating breakfast before you left for school. it allowed her to get a good night's sleep everyday, which she really needed after she started working a combined afternoon and evening shift at the local diner in order to put away some money for your college fund.

she's such a good mom. you smiled at the thought. she deserves a better daughter. 

these self-deprecating thoughts washed over you in waves, and if you didn't snap yourself out of it, you would be caught in a lethal undertow. just as you closed your eyes to submit to the numbing feeling, you heard a car engine purr to life, and were startled to see it heading your direction, going faster and faster by the second. it screeched to a halt beside where you stood on the sidewalk, suspense held a tight grip on your bones as the driver's window slowly rolled down, the inky blackness inside the car becoming exposed to the sunlight that illuminated the world outside of it.

"oi, [l/n]!" a deep voice sounded from inside the car, it made you uneasy that this random person knew your name, but something about it was strikingly familiar. you tried to remember who this person could be, but before you could could actually think, the driver leaned his head out the window to smile up at you.

"levi?" you hunch over and grip the straps of your backpack tightly. levi was the vice president of the student council and the co-founder of a food bank on the outskirts of town. levi ackerman was also notoriously known around school for the large sum of money he inherited from his deceased uncle kenny. levi and his mother used to be nobodies that lived in the less savory parts of town, but now they owned the biggest mansion on sina avenue, where all of the other rich people lived. it was also thirteen miles in the opposite direction. "what are you doing here? don't you live on the other side of town?" you didn't mean to sound rude, but his behavior was a little weird.

"oh." levi let a faint blush dust his cheeks. he didn't think you knew that about him, but he was pleased that he had gained a big enough reputation at school for you to notice him. after all, he had worked very hard for it. "in all honesty, i was following you. you looked lonely and i wanted to offer you a ride home."

"that's nice of you." you smiled, thinking of a way to decline without being rude.

"is it?" his head tilted to the side as a weary smile graced his features.

 "i mean... yeah." maybe it was your imagination, but something about him was a little off-putting. you'd thought it was weird how during lunch today you turned around to look at levi and saw that he'd already been staring at you. it was odd to see that the day after you lost your chapstick, he started using the same brand. it was unsettling to see that he was always reading a book that you had read before and placed on the bookshelf in your room. it was all just too weird for your liking, but you were raised to trust your intuition. "i'm fine, thank you for the offer though. have a nice afternoon." you quickly spoke out before walking briskly in the other direction.

"wait!" he shouted. slowly following you with his car. "please let me drive you home. i don't want you walking alone on the side of the road."

"it's really no problem. it's how i've always gotten home." a harmless lie, but it couldn't be helped. you needed to get this guy off your tail. he let out an exasperated sigh.

"please, [y/n]. get in the car." you didn't want to be mean to him, since he's never been anything but nice to you. you really were getting too soft. wordlessly, you walked around and sat in the passengers seat of his car. he smiled and breathed a sigh of relief. "thank you."

his car had an all black interior, and his bag was in the back seat. you pulled the straps off your back and leaned over the console to place yours beside his. he couldn't stop himself from admiring the swell of your breasts as your back arched to reach where you wanted to place your backpack. he waited patiently for you to buckle your seatbelt before driving off. you thought it would be best to pursue a conversation rather than sit in an awkward silence. you pondered over a question to ask him as he drummed his fingers against the steering wheel.

"what kind of music do you listen to?" you inwardly applauded yourself for the excellent on the spot question.

"i try not to listen to music very often. it's distracting."

"oh." maybe your attempt to make conversation wasn't as excellent as you thought. you didn't excel in small talk, and your small circle of friends definitely proved that. it's not like they weren't good people, but sometimes they spread rumors about you and even say disgusting things to your face. sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me. your earliest memory was your mother bandaging up your scraped knee after mikasa ackerman pushed you to the ground and called you nasty names. that lesson was ingrained in your mind, but it's message never rang true. words do hurt. they sit in a boiling pot in your brain until it spills over the edge, scalding everyone it touches. it was becoming more and more difficult to keep focus lately, your mind was barely holding on by a thread. there was white noise filling up the car, distracting you from everything that existed outside of your thoughts. you didn't even notice he was talking until he poked your shoulder. shaking yourself out of your stupor, you looked over at levi with a dazed look on your face.

"i'm sorry, did you say something?"

"i asked if you wanted to grab some food along the way." he tilted his head, wondering where your focus had gone for those few seconds. it may have been a bit weird, but it didn't raise any alarm in him. meanwhile you were panicking at the thought of food. 

"no no no. i'm good." you hurriedly stated. "thanks for the offer though."

       "really?" levi asked, looking down at the way you held your shrunken stomach. "because it's no problem."

"no, i promise i'm not hungry at all." he must've seen through your façade, his eyebrows furrowed as he scrutinized how odd you were acting.

"not even if it's fast food? i promise it won't take any time at all."

"no. no, i just want to go home."

"please?" this immediate refusal of food was beginning to trouble him. what if there was something really wrong with you? "i insist."

you slowly began to understand that you weren't winning this battle. concessions needed to be made. "okay, i guess." levi visibly relaxed.

"alright, where do you want to eat?"

"anywhere should be fine."

"okay..." he paused as he thought of a restaurant you might like. "what about jack in the box?" you hissed at the thought of their high calorie menu.

"i dunno. what about panera bread?" you felt a bit guilty about the suggestion since it was so far away from where you were, but seeing levi's eyes light up at your choice made it all melt away.

perfect. he thought. the only panera bread is two towns away, it'll give me more time to spend with her. "that sounds wonderful. much better than anything i would have come up with." you smiled a bit at his kind words.

"thank you."

the drive there was less awkward from then on out. levi seemed very interested in hearing you talk about books you like, and sometimes he would chime in if he didn't understand what you were saying. you however were very excited to have someone who was willing to listen to your raving antics. at least levi payed attention to you, and didn't brush you to the side like your few friends did. once you reached the drive through, you told levi your order and he relayed it to the person on duty. he handed you your food and tore at the wrappings of his sandwich as he drove away. you set your soup in your lap, wrapping your hands around the warm sides of the plastic container. he frowned at this.

"you aren't going to eat it?" he asked as he took another bite.

"not yet." 

"but your soup will get cold?" you could have laughed at the innocent look in his eyes as he expressed his concern over your soup.

"oh, no. it'll be fine. i can just heat it up in the microwave when i get home." and before you knew it, you were already parked outside of your house. "this was fun. we should do it again." you smiled as levi nodded. he was already looking forward to it. you opened the door as you tried to exit the car, but you were probed by your curiosity to ask him the question that had been gnawing at you. "by the way, levi-" you turned around in your seat and met his cold eyes. dark brown hair fell over them, half obscuring his vision of you. he obviously needed to give himself a haircut. "how did you know where i live?"

"well, uh," he stalled trying to think of a good excuse. "i'm the vice president of the student council. it's only natural that i have access to the files of every student beneath my command and know their places of residence." you carefully saw through his defense.

"that doesn't sound like it would be nessacary to do your job though."

"what are you going to do? tell on me?" his words spoke of a challenge, but his eyes flaunted a certainty that reminded you that you stood powerless against the vice-president.

you bit your lip, hesitating to find the right answer. "i guess you're right." you grabbed your soup and your backpack and left him alone in his car. once you were back in the confines of your room, you thought back to your conversations with levi as you sipped at your cold soup.

levi's so pretty, but he'll never like you in that way unless you're skinny. there were some days where you saw the thicker girls on instagram and thought about how cute they were and how nice it would be to get back to a more stable weight, but other days made you feel disgusting for even considering that option. you used to be so passionate about losing weight and seeing the fat roll of your body. the lack of motivation to lose weight lately has turned you lazy, and it's gotten so bad that you've started to almost enjoy food again. there was a part of yourself that still harbored those thoughts, the ones that said it was better to be a combination of skinny and sad than fat and happy. but that didn't mean that you cared enough to change it.

most nights were spent crying into your pillow while scrolling through the saved thinspo on your phone and re-reading the underlined sections in your purchased copy of wintergirls by laurie halse-anderson. your mind always wandered off when you did these things. that was by far your biggest obstacle when it came to losing weight. the rational side of your brain tried to convince you that you were just like everyone else, and you deserved to eat just as much as they did. these thoughts were always drowned out by the self-deprecating ones. but that little seed that told you how worthy you were of food was always lingering, and sometimes you listened to it. of course you were overwhelmed with guilt when you binged, but that couldn't be helped. you needed to renew your vigor to stop eating so you can get to your goal weight. the hope that you could get smaller and prettier was the only thing that gave your life any meaning. it was by no means a life worth living, but it was yours. there were girls your age enjoying what life had to offer at parties and preparing for the rest of their lives in dim-lit libraries, but you didn't have the energy to spare much of either. instead you let the walls of your room cage you, and nested into the comforts of your bed as soon as you got home every night.

you couldn't afford to be doing those things now, not while you were fat. the bottle of laxatives rattled around in your backpack, but the sound was easy to ignore while your raging headache was at the forefront of your mind. it wasn't as if hadn't drank enough water to drown a fish today, and the three tylenol pills you swallowed in second period weren't helping to ease your pain at all.

all of this suffering will be worth it though when you get your new body. you'll be able to take pictures of yourself in the mirror and not feel embarrassed, and have boney hands that will look like they were picked off of a skeleton. you could sit daintily in levi's lap and feel him rub bruises into your staunch hipbones. but most of all you'll be pretty. you can finally look how you feel on the inside. but until then, you'll just have to suffer.

you were shivering down to your bones as you walked to school the next morning. you knew that you were more at risk for contracting an illness because of your abnormal eating habits, but as always, here you were placing your academics above your health. it was a struggle to open the wrought iron doors of school, the few people in the hallway oblivious to how you pulled and tugged at the handle to no avail. a scuffle of shoes behind you and a half-hearted sigh alerted you of the presence of a person beside you. "tch. can't even open a shitty door. you froze, recognizing the voice instantly. why did it have to be levi, of all people, to see you so weak? 

"ah, sorry about that." you said as you moved to the side, allowing him to open the door for the both of you. he ushered you inside, quickly taking notice of how thin your sweater was. you clearly couldn't take care of yourself. not if you couldn't even look over the damn weather report that said the temperature would drop below freezing today. he walked slowly, not wanting you to get too far behind him. before he knew what he was doing, he turned to his side to say some snide remark to you about your clear lack of athletic prowess, only to go pale as he sees you aren't even there. he turned around to see that you were still breathing heavily and leaning against the wall. he hurried back over to where you stood, providing an arm for you to cling to as he supported your weight. you must've been quite the sight for him to be staring at you so worried. "you're pale as death. you look like you've seen a ghost." you joked, hoping that he would laugh and ease your nerves, but he didn't. he continued staring at you unblinkingly, like you had sprouted a second head.

"there is something wrong with you." he spoke softly so only you could hear.

"wow." you put the remaining energy you had into laughing and throwing a light punch into his shoulder. "you sure know how to offend a girl. i didn't even know you could be so rude."

"that's not what i meant and you know it." there was a flaming intensity in his face, he was only a few steps away from looking furious, and with every joke you tried to crack he stepped closer to that line. "do you need me to take you to the infirmary?"

"no, i'll be alright. plus you must have heard the horror stories that are told about nurse jaeger. can you walk me to my next class though?" you smiled up at him weakly. the worried expression on his face dropped, he looked like he was back to his old self. back to not caring enough to show a single emotion. he let you hold onto his shoulder as he walked you closer and closer to the nurses office. "very funny. this doesn't look like a classroom." you said as he helped you settle into one of the beds.

"i'll wait with you until the nurse comes back." he said. a sudden shout from the hallway roused you out of your thoughts. you turned to see nurse jaeger chewing out a kid for running through the halls as she chased after him, also running in the hall. it was quite the sight. by the time she'd tired herself out, she had come back to her office trying to catch her breath.

"ah, levi." she swallowed some air heavily. "it's good to see you again. what are you here for?"

"[y/n] wasn't feeling very well, so i decided to bring her to you."

"is this true, [y/n]?" she said turning over to you, bringing her hand up to feel for your temperature. you nodded, not meeting her gaze.

"well i'll see what i can do." carla quickly set out to gather all her medical instruments and place them on the bed as she started to tend to you. the bright light she shined in your eyes was starting to give you a headache and the tongue depressor she shoved down your throat tasted like it had been used. she pushed the thermometer too far underneath your tongue and squeezed your arm too tight as she took your blood pressure. "well, the good news is that you don't have strep, but the bad news is you're running a low grade fever, and your blood pressure is astoundingly low." she sighed. "i'll call your mom to come pick you up." your eyes widened as you realized the severity of this situation. if your mom found out you were sick she'd spoon feed you her awful chicken soup and you didn't have the time or patience to deal with that. the calories that alone contained were enough to give you a headache.

"wait! you don't have to do that. i can walk myself home. promise." carla was surprised at your outburst, especially since excuses were the first thing out of your mouth. carla hated excuses.

"well tough titties, sister. she's getting a call." carla was just about to place her hand on the phone before levi spoke up.

"you know nurse jaeger,  i could walk [y/n] home and pump her full of advil and be back before school even starts." he pressed his index finger to the hollow of his chin while he thought about it. "and nobody would be the wiser." carla's brows furrowed as she sighed.

"i suppose that would be alright so long as you come straight back to school. no funny business." she waved her finger back and forth as she shook her head. 

"thank you, ma'am." levi said as he helped you out of bed and out into the hallway. you were long out of earshot when you decided to speak again.

"thanks." 

"for what? for helping you, or for getting carla to not call your mom?" he felt awkward trying to half carry you while others watched. "what was that about?"

"i guess i just don't want to bother her." you frowned at how pathetic you sounded. "she already does so much for me. i don't want to be a burden." levi opened the door for you and started ushering you towards the passengers side of his car.

"but she's your mother. you're allowed to be dependent on her, especially if you're sick."

"i know. i know. it's just, it's that, i don't want her to find out what i've been doing." levi tilted his head as he opened the car door  for you and buckled your seatbelt. he thought about all of his observations, everything he'd written down about what he's seen from you, and it wasn't like he had seen you doing anything wrong. you were his perfect angel.

"what do you mean by that?" you were halfway passed out, leaning against the window as he rushed to get you back home. you felt a migraine start to form as you tried your best to loosen your aching body. 

"i don't want my mom to find out i've stopped eating because i don't want her to worry." before you could comprehend what exactly you had said, you felt the momentum of the car halt to a complete stop. you were just at the exit of the school's property as levi put the car in park and turned to face you. shit. you were never going to make it home at this rate. you didn't mean for it to slip out so casually. your brain was just so foggy lately, and with this fever adding on to it, your thoughts were even more scattered. levi tried his best to remain calm as he thought of all the questions he had.

"why did you stop eating?" his brows furrowed. "is it to lose weight? i promise that you don't need to do that." you rubbed the tip of your shoes together and kept your gaze to the ground so you didn't have to look him in the eyes. you knew that if you looked into his eyes it would all feel too real, and that's when the tears would start. god, i'm such a crybaby. you thought as you pondered what your response would be to levi's question.

"it's less about losing the weight and more about experiencing what i'll have once i lose it."

"well what's that?"

"you know, people treat you nicer when you're skinny, and they call you pretty and stuff." your teeth pressed into your lip and were seconds away from drawing blood. "but that sounds stupid, doesn't it?" levi ignored your question entirely.

"is that it?" he sighed. "you want to be called pretty? i'll call you pretty right now and you won't have to lose the weight." your face scrunched together as you tried to think of another excuse.

"it's not just that, it will be easier to move without all the extra fat hanging off me, and i'll be able to fit in cute clothes, and i'll be able to sit in someone's lap without worrying about crushing them, and i'll have a flat tummy." you drummed your pointer finger on the tip of your chin as you tried to think of anything that would justify you starving yourself. "my ribcage will start sticking out more and i won't be insecure about having a double chin, because it'll get starved off my body. oh! and thin legs too. i really want to have skinny legs."

levi couldn't find it in himself to reply, he just stared at you with his mouth agape. how could you be so blind? how could you not see yourself the way that he sees you? "you don't need all of that." levi felt his voice crack more than he heard it.

"that doesn't mean i can't want it." your lips trembled as you felt the tears start to form. you knew this wasn't fucking normal, but you pretended to believe that there was no other option for you. "i want to be prettier, levi. i don't want to get better." you shifted around in your seat to face him and shoved your face into the crook of his neck. your arms wrapped around him and your heart plummeted when he didn't move to embrace you back. you just sobbed into his shoulder, getting the fabric of his nice shirt wet with your tears and snot. this was awful, but when he brought his arms up to hold you closer to him, you knew that this was the worst part. it wasn't the headaches or the purging or the memory loss. it was the feeling of being weak in front of the person you admired most that made the pain of every other part of life pale in comparison. you realized as you clung onto each other like a lifeline, that things couldn't get worse. you were comforted as you thought about how much better things could get if you kept levi by your side.

[dreamwritersworld]

His daughter! (Sully family x Reader) Part 4!

reminder to PLEASE give feedback either in the comments or inbox :) ALSO you should really read my rant at the end of the story after the “!🎀!” It gives more details to the story that you may not have noticed :)

The pair continued their relationship as though nothing was said to Y/n about it. As a matter of fact Y/n wanted to put all the words her dad said in the back of her mind but she knew she’d have to tell Ao’nung…she just didn’t know how or who to ask for advice. That’s when Ronal came in.

Y/n walked into the Maui extremely nervous, she had been coming in weekly to learn more about their culture and healing methods from Ronal. However this time was different, Y/n couldn’t hold in the secret anymore. She felt sick to her stomach about it and it only wrecked her even more when Ronal kept bringing their relationship up…

“So..How are you and Ao’nung? Getting along quite well I see!”

“Yes! We have been..”

Y/n smiled slightly which immediately set off a ringer in Ronal’s mind. The smile that Ronal grew to know so well felt tired and fake. You can only assume it was a Mother’s instinct because Ronal could feel the stress and worry radiate off of the young child’s body, she knew something was wrong. In the beginning of Y/n’s arrival Ronal must admit she didn’t like the idea of the relationship but Y/n was quite easy to love. In many ways Ronal felt protective over Y/n and Lo’ak the longer they had stayed over or showed their love for her kids..she found it beautiful. So Ronal felt comfortable to simply ask whatever question she pleased…

“Something’s wrong. I can feel your stress, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing just..just tired.”

“mmh if I knew better I’d think you’re lying.”

Y/n didn’t know how to respond she stayed quiet and Ronal let her eat her guilt up. Ronal knew that if she let the silence remain eventually Y/n will confide with her.

“…I am.”

“What is it Y/n?”

“I must admit I have fallen to love your son beyond measure..but I’m so frustrated.”

“Oh I have known about that for the longest, but frustrated? Why?”

“Please keep this between us..but my father refutes the idea of us even being together. We got into an argument. We always do except this time he requested me to stop seeing him outside of our usual practices. I couldn’t handle it so I fought back, I fought back for at least some control, some aspect of my life.”

Ronal stood in silence as the girl struggled to push back through her cracked voice and heavy heart. It was easy to see that Y/n quite literally had it all without having anything to call hers. For the first time Ronal’s speculation had been confirmed, Y/n truly was trapped in a bubble of her fathers consciousness. To say that Ronal was upset was an understatement, she was infuriated. How could Jake not like her child? How could he ask- no demand Y/n to stop speaking to him? He should be grateful for all they’ve done for him, for them. regardless, Ronal knew not to think of it that way. Because at the end of the day her children found love that they so desperately deserved.

“I am sorry Y/n..I understand I won’t make a change to your heavy heart but I ask you to please not run away from something you deserve.”

“…of course not. I could never.”

“good.”

That’s how the conversation ended, they continued to practice and learn but the both of them had uneven tension in their hearts..once it ended Y/n quickly said her goodbyes and ran over to meet Ao’nung once again.

There the couple laid in a hidden cave they considered their own. Holding each others hand, touching and loving each other, secure in the knowledge that they would never let go. All Ao’nung could think about when he looked at Y/n and the way she perceived life and took all the beauty of it to channel through herself, was the way he loved her. He loved how silly she was, how contagious her laugh was, her love for the environment and Eywas creations. Nothing made him more shy than seeing her rush to do chores with her hair pinned up as she cleaned, in a complete rush to see him. He can’t even forget how much of a daredevil she could be, always willing to challenge him to try something new. He loved her dearly..

It was up until the moment he arrived home and overheard a conversation between his mother and father that for the first time he got mad at Y/n..

“Can you believe it? We give him and his family a home and he still decides to keep his daughter on a chain? He can’t even give us the decency of respect to allow his daughter to see my son!”

“Ronal please..we will figure this out soon but this should not worry you. Y/n is practically a women, she will do as she pleases-“

“Except she’s not! Not in their eyes, she’s not a grown woman yet. That means that Jake will continue to do whatever he pleases to keep himself content-“

“Just because he requested no relationship with Ao’nung doesn’t mean she’ll listen. They’re just kids. That Jake doesn’t understand that regardless of what he says Y/n no longer bothers to care!”

“You should’ve heard her Tonowari…she was so distraught. It sounded like her heart was being torn in two. I don’t know what she’ll do..but she hasn’t told Ao’nung. She seemed like she refused to tell him, to scared to hurt him-“

“Yes but that’s her decision. She will do as she pleases. I understand that’s her father and yes he is wrong but if she does listen to him, so be it. Ao’nung will get over it, he always does.”

“No Tonowari this is different. I can feel it. I just can’t allow her to drop him because of what he father demands.”

“Well we need to drop it. She’ll figure it out and soon enough we’ll know on their own accord. We should head to bed my love.”

That night Ao’nung went to bed extremely frustrated at Y/n for never confiding in him about the situation. It felt as though she was simply playing with his heart and testing to see how far she was able to go before she could break things off. So the next morning he didn’t even go looking for her instead waiting for her to come to him…

Ao’nung had been working on the shore with a couple of his friends not even rushing to get his chores done so he could see Y/n. That was until a familiar sweet voice came looking for him..

“Ao’nung! You’re not done? How come they gave you more to do than usual?”

“I don’t know we’ll talk later.”

Normally Y/n wouldn’t think about it much but the way Aonung’s tone was and the way he dismissed her did not sit well with Y/n.

“..ok.? Come meet me when your done then.”

“Yea sure whatever.”

Y/n looked at him with hurt and frustration in her eyes, she felt as though he didn’t care to speak with her or acknowledge her so she walked about without saying a thing. She felt embarrassed and ashamed to had even gone looking for him..as she walked away she heard even more issues to worry about

“Woah! Trouble in paradise?”

“Shut up! She’ll hear you-“

“Just saying! I mean you always rush out of here-“

“Just shut up I don’t want to hear it!”

Had Ao’nung found out what was discussed between her and his mother yesterday? Was he unforgiving to her now that he knows? Y/n didn’t find out the issue and instead had to go searching for him again. Yes, despite her pridefulness she wouldn’t ever dear to fall asleep mad at him.

“Ao’nung!”

There he was, walking home across the sandy beach without a care in the world or at least that’s what Y/n thought. He had stopped for a moment and that’s all Y/n needed for her to catch up to him and pull him to the side.

“Whats wrong?”

“Nothing. Absolutely nothing.”

“Ao’nung please stop it, I know something’s wrong. I just wish you would talk or open up to me a little more. You were off this entire day, you never go without speaking to me.”

“How about you Y/n?! You never even thought to tell me about your father!”

Y/n’s eyes widened in surprise at his raised voice but with complete understanding of why. However this wasn’t the way to go about it..at least not for her.

“I did want to tell you! I was going to tell you, I just didn’t know how.”

“Yea and you told my mother?!”

“Because she asked me! I couldn’t lie!”

“Well I wish you had!”

“I didn’t mean to-“

“But you did! You did Y/n! And you didn’t even care to tell me later on either!”

“Ao’nung im Sorry! Yes it bothered me but it doesn’t change anything!”

“What do you mean? Your father hates me-“

“He doesn’t-“

“But he does. He doesn’t want me to ever be with you so much that you argued over me.”

“We always argue-“

“That doesn’t change anything Y/n. He told you not to see me more than friends anymore and you allowed this to continue knowing I love you.”

They stared at each other in silence both with tears. Ao’nung was so upset that he couldn’t even bare to acknowledge what he had just confessed and Y/n was too bottled up in her own head about the situation at hand.

“Well that’s because I love you too! So what if he doesn’t want me to be with you? I don’t care! Ok? I don’t and if you don’t want to fight for that fine.”

“Fine.”

Ao’nung couldn’t admit it but it wasn’t fine…but the moment he saw Y/n stand up to walk away he ran as though she was taking his heart with her.

Y/n ran off to the deck calling for an ilu to take her completely out of sight and far away from Ao’nung. When it had just arrived Ao’nung caught her.

“Get off the ilu.”

“No.”

“Get off the ilu.”

“No. And I don’t appreciate being ordered.”

“Get off the ilu Y/n.”

“Why so you can argue with me?”

“Get off the damn ilu Y/n!”

“No, I am leaving. You can talk to me when you are calm but Ao’nung let this be said, you will not disrespect or raise your voice at me.”

“Y/n I have every right-“

“No! You said you were fine with us not speaking anymore so be it! I’m fine with it too!”

Ao’nung absolutely can see straight through the emotional white lie because Y/n voice had cracked and her eyes had watered once again.

“Y/n please. Stop.”

“No! I’m upset! I’m upset at you for not understanding! I didn’t try to lie or hold a secret in! I was going to tell you I just didn’t know how. It didn’t even matter-“

“Stop. It did matter because it made you upset.”

“Well then I’ll deal with it on my own-“

“No Y/n. That’s for us to fix, not for you to decide on your own.”

“Ao’nung please. My father would never allow me to be with you, not yet. Can we just agree to be a secret for a little bit longer please. You are all I have, you are all I get to enjoy to myself.”

“Y/n you should understand you are asking a lot.”

“I know but please. I just want this part of my life for myself..”

“Forever-“

“No! I want to be able to show you off proudly but not right now please. My father wouldn’t allow it. He just needs to see you more ok? In a better light.”

“Better light? Y/n please.”

“Im serious. If he got to see you more from my point of view he’d be fine, just promise not to get into any trouble with the boys and we should be ok.”

“Im am future leader of the clan Y/n I think im ok.”

“I know but we were once future leaders too so that role doesn’t hold much to him anymore. please Ao’nung don’t be upset and be patient with me.”

“Ok..I will be.”

“…promise?”

“promise.”

“ok! Now stop being so grumpy!”

That’s when Ao’nung was yanked into the ocean and the two shared a kiss once more eager to stay out a little bit longer before they went home…

For awhile Jake hadn’t said anything and everyone went by as normal that week except one night Y/n decided to pass on hanging out with Ao’nung declaring that she had felt too ill to go out and insisted he went out to have fun without her while she slept. So Ao’nung had took that chance.

As teens normally would however, Ao’nung had slipped his hands onto a fruit that navi adults would use to get a little tipsy..or fully drunk. In Ao’nungs case he got drunk, and he allowed his thoughts to cloud him as he sat with his friends.

*Ao’nung’s thoughts*

..he doesn’t think im good enough for her and she doesn’t either..how could I ever be a good leader when they doubt me..?..

Whatever he was thinking got him pulled out of it, he had trashed a Maui with his friends, knocked out and was found by Tonowari. Yes, they were teenagers and considered older but under Tonowari’s authority this behavior wasn’t allowed so he scolded him. In. Front. Of. Everyone….including Jake.

Jake had overheard it and rolled his eyes at the foolishness, how could his daughter be with someone just as childish as her. Y/n watched the disappointment in his face as he listened and he gave her a know it all face in return, practically telling her “I told you so”. y/n couldn’t stand it, she asked Ao’nung for one thing. All she asked was for him not to get into any trouble and to be patient but he couldn’t keep his promise..it had been hours till Y/n would be approached by Ao’nung..

To say she was upset was an understatement. She was beyond frustrated with him.

“Y/n cmon let’s go out.”

He had tugged on her arm in an effort to pull her his way but she didn’t budge.

“No. What do you want?”

Ao’nung absolutely didn’t like that response as a matter a fact he didn’t even like the tone or attitude in her voice.

“Ok..we’re not doing this. Sit down.”

“No im working on something for your mother. Leave me alone.”

“Sit down Y/n.”

“Sitting down is not happening! So what do you want?”

“You.”

“Goodbye future ‘Olo’eyktan’. Leave.”

Y/n knew this would push his buttons, but she wanted it to. It should’ve bothered him that he was supposed to have his act together by now and that it’s ok for him to get drunk but not act like a fool! He was the future leader after all, that’s all they’ve ever trained him for and he still can’t show up for himself.

“Oh come on!”

“You do not summon me!”

“You do not get to push me out!”

“I am done. Ao’nung your father threatened you this morning! I heard it! Everyone heard it! Including my father.”

“Y/n it means nothing-“

“Nothing? You call him threatening to take your leadership nothing? Ao’nung I understand it may have seemed harmless in the moment but that is not how you act as future leader.”

“Oh so now you’re trying to control me?”

“Control? Of course not. I’m trying to help you and hold you accountable just as you would to me-“

“Well I wouldn’t! I wouldn’t if I knew it bothered you and you had enough on your plate.”

“Ao’nung please, you and I both know you would push for me to do better. And That’s all I’m doing for you.”

The couples hushed whispers got slightly louder as the conversation continued..

“Well that’s not what it feels like Y/n.”

“Ao’nung, im asking you to get better for yourself-“

“Is it that or is it the fact that you want your father to love me dearly the way you want him to, NEED him to-“

“Shh no-“

“Don’t shush me-“

“I can and I will. You’re being mean, stop it.”

Ao’nung sighed and reached out to hold onto Y/n’s waist in front of him,understanding that she still wasnt at her highest level of frustration with him.

“Ao’nung understand when I say I need you to do what you need to do to be good, to be great, to love what you do. I want that for you. You do what you need to do so I can do what I need to do.”

“You don’t think that this isn’t harder on me than it is you? You don’t think that I don’t want to dedicate myself to being the future leader? You don’t think that I want to be honorable enough to be the man that is going to be controlling this clan that might I add WILL protect you? I love you. I’m in love with you.”

Y/n fought every being in her body to give into Ao’nung right then and there instead she simply held the hand he laid on her waist and acknowledged his feelings with a small..

“..i love you too. I know that you’re trying but what you did today was not ok.”

“I understand and I’m sorry. I’m sorry that your dad had to see it.”

“My dad is not the issue-“

“Y/n, I know he was part of it. I know he probably gave you a look that got you so upset because he told you so.”

“…”

“Exactly.”

“Fine, I was slightly frustrated at that-“

“Told you so!”

“Ao’nunggggg stop it!”

The two laughed at the moment and stood in silence as Y/n continued to do the work she was instructed to do..everything was peaceful..

!🎀!

hey guyssss I really wanted to emphasize on drama and emotion this chapter . Reminder that these are two teens who are trying to navigate how to even go about being together because there are so many issues in the way with Ao’nung training, Y/n adapting and their parents.

I wanted to add in more arguments to make it slightly more realistic THEY ARE YOUNG TEENS ALMOSTTT YOUNG ADULTS so they obviously can’t be perfect 🙏 btw do you guys notice how much Ao’nung knows Y/n! He knew that she wasn’t only upset about him getting in trouble but more so upset that Jake had to see. He understood her different levels of frustration and he touched her knowing that she’d still melt to it because she wasn’t totally upset at him just disappointed. He also isn’t one to turn away from confrontation, he does well at communication with Y/n and he knows exactly how to get her to come to him and open up! 💕

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