#Shaun: more than anything else in my life yes

[dark-elf-writes]

WAIT OH MY GOD

He’s the first fucking medical drama. There’s so much speculation about who the women were (and their strange names because some of those are very era and region dependent) that historians combing through his work are up in arms about who they could be. Students perhaps? Children? Lovers?

But there’s absolutely no record or proof of any of them existing at the time. No letters, no taxes, no graves, nothing. And some of the dedications even sound apologetic? Why???

The conspiracy boards when no historical evidence of those names existing before the journals were published (although several came after both those intended and those that read the dedications and decided they liked the names/wanted their daughters to be like that/etc) or any proof of where the faintest ideas of the concepts in the journals is possible to find would be insane.

Like you know future Shaun has so much beef with this long dead man for starting the longest running conspiracy theory and how the hell he pulled Germ Theory out of his ass when all other evidence at the time claimed other reasons for illness.

[justmeinadaze]

In Your Corner Part 2 (Steve X Plus Sized Reader)

A/N: Boxer Steve still resides in my brain and I wouldn't mind him taking care of me rn <3

Warnings: Boxer Daddy Dom Steve X plus sized Sub fem reader, SMUT, light choking, spanking, dirty talk, more of a softer Steve in this one, FLUFF (they love each other), ANGST, reader has a rough day and Steve is trying to make her feel better.

Word Count: 3516

Steve came in from training that afternoon to an abnormally quiet home. Usually, if you didn’t meet him at the gym after work, you would be watching tv or reading on the couch with some music on. 

“Baby?”

After doing the obligatory scan around the living room and back patio, he headed for the bedroom finding you curled up under the blankets in bed. He crawled in behind you and without hesitation you folded into him as you took hold of his hand, placing it under your cheek. You love this side of him just as much as the rough and rugged side. The soft, doting man that wanted to make sure you were happy. 

“What’s going on, baby girl?”, he whispered.

“I just had a long day. This new client we’re working with is an imbecile and then my dad was being a jerk. That mixed with other things one right after the other… I needed a moment.” You felt him nod in understanding before gently placing kisses along your shoulder making you giggle. “You are still so sweaty.”

“You like it.” Playfully, you fight against him as he tries to use your shirt like one of his gym towels as you laugh louder, rolling over to face him. “Hey, I have an idea. Why don’t we take a shower, get dressed, and we’ll go see a movie. Get some dinner afterwards.”

After kissing his lips, you press your face into his chest, inhaling him as you hold him closer. You never knew what it was about him but when you had a bad day or just felt down, you allowed yourself to let go and enter this particular side of that little girl headspace. You had never done that with anyone else and would always insist that you could take care of yourself. Hell, you had done it most of your life. 

The first time you had an off day in the beginning of your relationship, you shut down and disappeared. A few hours later, he knocked on your door with the intention of punishing you but as soon as he saw your face his anger faded. Steve spent the rest of the evening on the floor in your living room, making you laugh and sharing a delicious, gigantic pizza with you.

“This isn’t going to ruin your training, is it?”

“What do you mean, honey?”

“I mean with the pizza and beer. Don’t boxers have to be at a certain weight?”

“Yes, but that doesn’t matter right now. What matters to me is that beautiful smile returning to your face.”

“Steve…”

“Y/N, don’t ever be afraid to tell me when something is wrong, ok? No matter what it is. I would rather take care of you or if it involves me have us talk it out than have you disappear again.”’

“I’m sorry. It’s just…how I handle my stress. I let it all build until I implode. I struggle with letting go like that. I’ve always taken care of myself, you know?”

“I know, baby, but I’m here to help.” Steve scooted closer to you, propping up on his elbow till his lips were below yours. “Let Daddy take care of you.”

From that moment on, you did and were completely surprised with how easy it was or maybe he just made it that easy. 

“You’re too sweaty.”, he mimicked in your voice making you giggle as you pushed him away and rolled out of bed. 

“Come on, Daddy. Let’s get ready.”

###########

“Oh my god, Steve Harrington. You know me too well.”, you grin as you wrap your arms around his waist. 

“I was going to ask you about it when I got home anyway so it was perfect.”

Every week the local Hawkins cinema would play a movie that wasn’t normally out in theaters and this weeks showing was “Shaun of the Dead.” You loved any kind of disaster fueled film especially if it left you laughing and Steve knew you needed that more than anything right now. 

Another thing you loved about him was how much genuine attention he paid to you and what you said. Like with his career, he spent a great deal of time studying you even now to make sure you were happy or to avoid making you sad. The first time you noticed it was when he went with you to the mall a couple of weeks after you started dating.

His gorgeous honey eyes kept track of everything your hand grazed or anything you pointed to that made you smile. When you entered a makeup section that’s when he started asking questions. 

“Wait so why this brand instead of that one? Are they different colors or?”

“Not exactly. This brand here feels better on my face whereas this one kind of feels cakey.”

“Cakey?”

You grin as you reach for his hand and grab both the sample bottles, dapping each one on his skin. His eyes meet yours as he softly smiles and you lean up on your toes to kiss his lips. 

“Ah, ok. I feel it now. Cakey.” Giggling, you wipe his hand with a wet wipe as you continue explaining different products to him. 

A week later he surprised you with a little bag of gifts including that makeup and some other things he’d thought you’d like from that store. 

What you didn’t know was Steve enjoyed listening to you explain things to him. You always got so animated if it was a subject you enjoyed and, personally, he loved that you didn’t talk down to him or make him feel stupid. Even when he was explaining something to you he felt like he wasn’t making any sense or sounding like a moron but you never reacted that way. 

The first time he really broke down boxing for you, he ended almost every sentence with “Does that make sense?” To which you would nod and ask him a follow up question. 

After purchasing some snacks, you made your way to the theater and as soon as you both took your seats, he wrapped his arm around you as you curled up closer to his side. 

“This was a good idea, baby. Thank you.”

“Of course, honey. I love you.

As the movie played he relished every giggle and laugh that left your lips. Seeing you happy was like a drug to him. The same adrenaline high he got after a fight was the same thing he felt when he was able to make you smile especially after a rough day. 

############

“I don’t feel like we’re dressed fancy enough to be here.”

“Sweetie, this is down the street from Enzos where people go in sweatpants. I think we’re ok.”, Steve chuckles. “But at least you’re wearing a dress. I’m the one in jeans.”

“Here you go, ma’am—”

“Oh, thank you but I didn’t order this.” You politely smile as the waiter placed a martini in front you. 

“Yes ma’am. Compliments of the gentleman over at the bar.” He leans in lower so only you two would hear him. “I told them you were here with a gentleman of your own but he insisted.”

“It’s ok. Thank you. Can you give this to him and tell him even if I wasn’t here with my boyfriend I would rather die than except a drink from a smarmy asshole sitting alone at the bar?”

The waiter smirks as he nods, taking the drink with him. 

“Jesus Christ, you’re fucking sexy. Always loved that attitude.”, Steve grins as he grabs your chin and pulls you in for a kiss. 

As you two continued with your dinner, you vented to him about your day and your new client at work. He growled under his breath when you mentioned your boss who did nothing to help make your job any easier. When you started talking about the conversation with your dad, however, he noticed you breeze past the topic.

“Hey, honey, wait now. What did your dad pick a fight with you about?”

“Oh, it’s nothing, babe. Just the usual stuff.”, you sighed.

Steve’s eyes narrowed in on you as he held your hand in his and kissed the back of it. 

“It was about me again wasn’t it?” When you nodded your head, he knew. You could handle the chaos at your work and still be your feisty yet cheery self but when it came to your family especially your dad it always seemed to hit you hard. 

“I just don’t understand why he can’t see you the way I do. I’ve told him your nothing like your dad or even how you were when we were growing up but…”

“Is that what the fight was about?”

“Steve…”

“Hey, it’s ok, baby girl. You know you can tell me anything.”

You sighed again as your sad eyes landed on his loving ones. “He thinks you’re going to hurt me. He said that if you were really serious about being with me…”, you shook your head in embarrassment. 

“Then we’d be married by now?”

“Steve, you know I don’t care about that kind of thing. I know you love me and I know when we are both ready we’ll take that step. I don’t think like he does. I—”

His tender, mint flavored lips cut you off as he interrupted your train of thought. 

“Sweetheart, I’ve wanted to marry you since freshman year. I just know you deserve the best and I’ve been waiting for the right time you know?”

“What do you mean ‘the best’?”

“Well, when it comes to a wedding I know it has to be perfect. Perfect flowy dress with the veil and pretty flowers.”, he grins as he leans back in his chair and paints a picture with his hands making you smile. “Of course, obnoxiously poofy bridesmaid’s dresses and a BEAUTIFUL venue. Then after we can honeymoon anywhere you want. I’ve been thinking Italy or maybe Hawaii. I know you love the beaches and the clear water.”

Steve looks at you then with a soft smile as he brushes a loose strand of hair behind your ear. 

“After that, I want us to be able to come home to a house with enough rooms for us to start a family. Somewhere you feel safe and happy.”

“As long as I’m with you, Steve Harrington, I feel safe and happy.”

Once you finish your meal, he quickly runs to the restroom while you wait for him by the door. 

“I can take care of a beautiful woman like you if you let me.”

You roll your eyes at the asshole from the bar as he tries to get your attention. 

“I highly doubt that.”

“Let me show you, honey.” The man stands and strides towards you as you raise your hand to stop him. 

“I’m warning you now, honey. Sit back down and keep drinking before my boyfriend comes back and knocks you out. Trust me, he’s a boxer. He can and will.”

“Pfft like I’m afraid of that asshole.”

“Problem, baby?” Steve saunters out with confidence as you hand him his jacket you had been holding. 

“I don’t know. IS there a problem?”, you ask the man sarcastically. 

His eyes shift between you both before he shakes his head and turns away. “Fucking fat ass bitch.”

The man is forcefully turned around and met with a fist to his face. As he starts to tilt backwards Steve yanks him by the collar and turns him to face you. 

“Apologize to the lady. NOW!”

“Jesus Christ! I’m sorry!”

“Mhmm.” You roll your eyes at him again before beaming at the man you love.

##########

The entire ride home was a blur of desperate touches and needy hands mostly from your side. As he drove, your hands ran up his thigh and over his chest into the V neck part of his shirt so your fingers could graze the hair on his chest. Your lips trailed along jawline down his throat as he groaned and did his best to keep his eyes open to get you home safely. 

“I need you, Daddy. I can’t wait for us to get home so I can feel you inside of me and fill me up, baby. Fuck, Daddy, I’m so fucking wet. Please drive faster.”

Both of you practically fell into the apartment as you wrapped your arms around his neck and Steve walked you backwards with his lips attached to yours. Squeaking when the cold counter of the kitchen touched your back, you bit your bottom lip when he roughly turned you around and pushed your front half down on the granite. 

Lifting the bottom of your dress, you moaned as his hand ran along the meat of your ass before firmly coming down to spank you. Ripping off your panties, he smacked your behind again but before you could react you felt the wind of him hastily kneeling and gasped when his tongue breached your folds. 

“Yes, baby. O-Oh my god.” You whimpered as his palm came down once more and his head tilted so he could taste more of you. “Daddy, please. Don’t stop.”

Standing to his full height, Steve leaned his chest over you as he thrust two of his fingers into your entrance and pumped them so fast inside of you, you heard your slick obscenely squelch against his movements.

“Does that feel good, honey? You like when Daddy uses his fingers to make you cum?”

“Mmm—yes, Daddy.”

“You’re so fucking dirty, baby girl. Just making a mess all over your legs and my hand. Say it, Y/N. Say ‘I’m a dirty girl.’”

“I-I’m a dirty girl. I’m your dirty girl.”

“Yeah you are. Cum, sweetheart. Be a good girl and cum for Daddy.” Your vision was blinded by white as your body shuddered against the counter. “That’s it, baby. Good girl. Good girl. Ride it out. Use my fingers to make it last.”

Turning around, you cling to his neck as he smiles against your lips, throwing off his shirt as you push him towards the bedroom. 

“I like when you get needy for me.” Falling on to the mattress, you hastily remove each other’s clothes and you whimper as his palm comes down hard on your behind. “Come here and turn around, baby.”

You paused and a flash of annoyance passed through his eyes as he grabbed your throat to pull you closer to his face. 

“How many times are we going to have this conversation, little one? You are not heavy. If I couldn’t handle that sexy ass on my face I wouldn’t have asked, right?”

“Yes, Daddy.”

As if to prove his point, Steve leaned over to take hold of your hips and effortlessly lifted you till your knees were on either side of his head. His hands pushed against your back, urging you to lean forward so you could take his cock in your mouth. 

“That’s my good girl. Fuck me.”, he groaned as your lips delicately kissed his sensitive tip before wrapping them fully around his length. 

Steve was always a man about hands. You loved his massively large, beautiful hands and everything they could do. Whether they were nestled in a glove flying towards someone’s face, moving around wildly as he told a story, or like right now spreading your pussy open wider so he could flick his tongue in and out of your entrance…you loved them and what they could do. 

Your mouth came off him with a pop as you continued to stroke him with your palm.

“Baby…please…fuck…”

“No, no, baby girl. Keep that mouth open and on me.” Doing what he wanted, you felt his fingers tangle in your hair as his hips thrust up into you. As he held you still, Steve shoved his face further into your cunt making you whine around him. The man devoured you as he fucked your face and both sensations were driving you wild.

Both hands abruptly reached beneath you as he pulled you off his cock and lifted you till you were up right. 

"Make yourself cum, honey.”

He guided your motions until you were riding him, Steve’s fingers playing with your tits as you moan his name. He had told you before he didn’t mind when you said his name instead of his title. It told him you were lost in the feeling and he liked that when you were about to reach heaven his name was the first thing from lips.

Your body shook as you came, collapsing on his stomach as he continued to lick you clean. You fell onto the bed on your side and he eagerly flipped around so he could hold you while kissing your lips. 

“Good, baby. You did so good. You’re so gorgeous when you cum hard like that.”, he whispered between kisses. Your eyes were still closed but you turned into the sound of his soothing voice as he began to peck down your jawline to your ear. “Do you feel what you do to me, pretty girl? How hard I am just from you riding my face?”

After guiding your hand to his cock, you both mewled at how firm it had gotten as precum oozed from his tip. Steve’s jaw fell open when your thumb grazed across it and he lightly shuttered in pleasure at the feeling. 

“Are you ready for Daddy, baby?”

When you nod your head, he rolls on top of you and without hesitation you circle your legs around his waist. His fingers tenderly brush some loose hair out of your face as he places soft kisses on your lips. Warm air hits your tongue as Steve moans, sliding his length into your core.

You love the rough stuff with your boyfriend but you utterly reveled in seeing him like this to. Either way he had you whether it be fucking you or making love, it was filled with passion. His eyebrows knitted together as he pumped into you slowly at first, absorbed in the full feeling of you.

“I love you, Steve.”

The man’s eyes fluttered open as he looked down at you with a gentle smile. 

“I love you to, Y/N.” He pressed his forehead to yours as he gradually began moving his hips a bit faster. “Since the moment I saw you, honey. Fuck. You feel so good.”

Steve’s head falls into the nook between your neck and shoulder as he thrusts into you harder, your fingers clinging to his hair and shoulders as you whimper. 

“Fuck. Just like that, Daddy.”

“Yeah? Is that the spot, baby girl?”

“Cum…cum with me, baby, please.”

Pushing up onto his elbows, his eyes lock with yours as his hips practically punch into you, hitting that sensitive spot repeatedly until your back arches off the bed and your pussy squeezes his cock as you cum.

While you continue to flutter around him, his rhythm becomes sloppier till you feel him warm your sides.

After a quick shower, Steve wraps you up in one of his shirts and you cuddle against his side as he plays with your hair.

“Thank you for today. I had fun spending time with you.”

“Me to. Are you feeling less…overwhelmed?”

“I am. I always feel less stressed when we’re together.” 

“Me to.” You feel his smile as he kisses your forehead. “Y/N, if I did ask you to marry me would you say yes?”

His question throws you off guard as you sit up to fully face and he does the same. 

“What? I don’t understand—”

“Yes you do. If I ask you, Y/N Y/L/N, to marry me, Steve Harrington, would you say yes?”

“Of course, but you said you wanted to wait for the right time…”

“I did but like I said at dinner, I’ve been wanting to marry you since high school. I know weddings take some time to plan but no matter what, sweetheart, I love you. I’ll marry you today, tomorrow, or twenty years from now.” He rolls over and crouches down towards the tiny safe you know is at the bottom of his nightstand. 

You smile as his tongue pokes out while he inputs the code and grins when it beeps signaling success. Retrieving something from it, he scoots over to your side of the bed and yanks your legs making you giggle as he tugs you towards the edge. 

“I got this year ago and I’ve been saving it… I honestly think right now is the perfect time and I don’t care what I have to do or how hard I have to work I’m going to give you those things I said.” As he descended to one knee, he opened the tiny black box and you gasped when you saw the beautiful engagement ring nestled inside. “Y/N, will you marry me?”

“Yes, Steve Harrington! Of course!”

He breathes a sigh of relief, unaware he had been holding his breath, and promptly tackles you in his arms as he slides the ring on your finger.

[magicalyaku]

Hello and welcome to my 2023 reading wrap up! A big Thank You to everyone who followed my ramblings throughout the year! <3 I will continue through 2024. Maybe I'll learn how to write proper reviews, at least I'll try to remember better what I actually want to say about the stories. In 2022, I read 93 books plus my own. Guess how many it were in 2023? 93 plus my own!! xD That was huge coincidence and I love it. Of these 94 books, 4 are rereads (which won't be included in the "Favourite" sections), 2 are non-fiction, 11 are non-queer. I only DNFed 1 book (which is not pictured) and other than that I only disliked 6 books! (And it's a pretty soft dislike in comparison. I don't hate them nearly enough to want to shit on them again. :'D).

So on the the awards!

Most Read Author: KJ Charles (8 books)

Least Favourite Book: Daresh (Katja Brandis) (the one I could not finish for dear life)

Favourite Character: Brand (The Tarot Sequence) and Will (The Will Darling Adventures) (yes, there's a trend)

Favourite Covers (of books I read, not releases):

(There were too many. D:)

Highest Emotional Investment (aka The Agony, the suffering, the why you do this to me Award): Dark Heir - The Scottish Boy - In Memoriam

Wildest Story: The Adventures of Pinocchio

Favourite Books:

The Devil's Luck (L.S. Baird)

The Scottish Boy (Alex de Campi)

In Memoriam (Alice Winn)

Just Lizzie (Karen Wilfried)

Dark Heir (C.S. Pacat)

The Will Darling Adventures (KJ Charles)

Gwen & Art are not in Love (Lex Croucher)

The Buried and the Bound (Rochelle Hassan)

More Books I enjoyed greatly:

Oracle of Senders series (Mere Joyce)

Of Feathers and Thorns (Kit Vincent)

Wren Martin Ruins it all (Amanda deWitt)

Simon Snow series (Rainbow Rowell)

The Five Stages of Andrew Brawley (Shaun David Hutchinson)

The Tarot Sequence (K.D. Edwards)

The First and Last Adventure of Kit Sawyer (S.E. Harmon)

Sixteen Souls (Rosie Talbot)

By any Other Name (Erin Cotter)

The High King's Golden Tongue (Megan Derr) and more!!

Most Used Name: I counted names last year and didn't want to do it again this year because I read so much fantasy, so the names were all over. Still, there was one who stood out amongst them all with at least 4 instances, if not more. Probably more.

Will

Congratulations. I have to admit, I've always liked that name. My favourite character of all times and part of my one and only OTP is named Will as well and I kinda hope the last book of their second trilogy never comes because it will probably make me scream and ... ...

Bonus! This year, I counted pages! Because I felt that most books were much shorter than what I read before. So I wanted to know. Turns out, my feeling was wrong. My 93 books had a whole of 33011 pages which results in approximately 350 pages per book. That's pretty normal I dare say.

That's it for 2023! I had a very good year in books. I wanted to read less actually, and failed spectacularly because I had too much fun. And if anyone's wondering how I read so much, I read fast and I just didn't do anything else in my free time. Escapism to the max. I hope, the new year treats you well! I hope, you have fun with the books you read! Let's meet again soon! <3

[basmathgirl]

Hi!

Due to personal reasons I wasn’t able to watch the 60th DW anniversary episodes when they aired. But now I’m caught up on everything and I have some thoughts and questions(?) about the Doctor and Donna’s famous platonic relationship.

And I think I need a bit of clarification first. Everyone likes to talk about their friendship, their platonic relationship, about them being platonic soulmates… And yes that is true, especially after the 60th anniversary. However I always assumed, when they met the second time (s4e1), Donna tried to find the Doctor, not just because she wanted to go on an adventure, but also because she was somewhat attracted to him as well.???

But I guess I read her character and the situation in e1 of s4 completely wrong, because I used to think her saying that he is an alien streak of nothing and she would never consider him in a romantic manner, especially in the moment immediately after him stating he just wants a friend, was more a way to protect herself and her feelings than anything else.

Don’t get me wrong I love their friendship and I’m glad she didn’t pine for him like some other companions did. But saying it was platonic from the very start for both of them always seemed wrong to me.?🤔

As I mentioned I just finished watching the anniversary episodes and although I loooved them, a part of me is a tiny bit annoyed that the fandom (not the DW fandom overall, but the Donna x Doctor fans) readily embraced the “they are just friends” scenario. I mean in truth there is nothing to complain about really, we got a happy ending and I never expected them to become canon in the first place. (The Doctor rarely has real romantic relationships in canon anyway, except when he does...🙄) But even people who shipped them before, are now just basking in this platonic setting they presented us, and push the Donna x Doctor idea away. At least it seems like this to me.

And I know their relationship is super special nonetheless. They are soulmates! But I guess I wanted more for Donna... She always seemed like a very passionate person. Someone who deserved something special in every area of her life. Someone who would have or would want to have passion, something special and meaningful when it comes to their love life as well. And her relationship with Shaun just doesn’t look like it is something like this. But of course we only witnessed a small part of their life and they are already married for 15 years. Plus relationships don’t have to be loud, dramatic and flashy to be happy and fulfilled. But the words Donna used to talk about Shaun and their marriage are somewhat telling in my opinion. Moreover I would dare to argue that it is very obvious that he loves her a lot more than she loves him…

I just know if they had set up the relationship between the Doctor and Donna differently from the very beginning, gave it more room for interpretation, this whole arc, where they are separated for over a decade and then found each other again could have been a great love story. I mean it is, a great love story, but you know what I’m getting at.

In the end it is probably the best to remind myself that DW isn’t about sappy love stories anyway...���‍♀️

Sorry you didn’t get to watch the 60th specials until recently, as there’s always a buzz to watching stuff sort of along with other people.

Ah, the ‘platonic relationship’ that many non-shippers refer to; which is their right to do so, but you won’t find me thinking that way. Donna was not immune to the Doctor’s looks, she just chose to ignore the issue. After all, why did she react with a knee-jerk panic when he mentioned wanting a mate? It certainly hit a nerve, caused by past experience, or secretly liking the look of him. “They fell for each other” David Tennant said about the Doctor and Donna at the end of The Runaway Bride so it is perfectly valid to assume she wasn’t just seeking a quick trip in the TARDIS when she sought him out. I mean, a whole year? For someone you aren’t attracted to? That’s a long time to look for someone you’re just after a job/experience from.

She called him a long streak of nothing to stop him thinking she fancied him, because she didn’t want to embarrass herself by being rejected. She wanted a meaningful relationship, not a quick bunk up.

During the 50th anniversary celebrations, they interviewed some of the past Doctors about how they felt about the romantic angle that occurs in nu!Who. Apart from the general disgust romance was included, Peter Davison said an interesting thing. He felt certain that, if Donna had been given another series with the Doctor, they’d have ended up in a physical non-platonic relationship (shall we say). But DT did state once that the Doctor is asexual, so take from that what you will.

The biggest obstacle for TenxDonna shippers where the Fourteenth Doctor is concerned is Shaun Temple. Do you condone  adultery and ship them, kick Shaun out of the way somehow, or leave them as platonic best friends? It’s a conundrum, but most of the shippers I know have decided the marriage between Donna and Shaun had ended long ago and they are hanging on to their tepid relationship by the skin of their teeth, just because of Rose Temple. In RL this would be true; so I’m perfectly happy to go along with it.

I completely agree with you: Shaun loves Donna a lot more than she loves him. You don’t describe your husband as merely ‘nice’; and she only said “I love you” to his face to get him to take Rose to safety. As Wilf said in the café, she was making do, and her chat with Sylvia about missing someone underlines that fact.

RTD wrote The Runaway Bride as a romcom gone wrong. There are even aspects of that in Partners In Crime. The companion in S4 was supposed to be the love of the Doctor’s lives; and when CT was cast that plan was ditched and Rose Tyler was promoted into that spot, for a while. Hmm. Makes you think, eh? Because all that has been sort of reversed thanks to the 60th anniversary specials. Their reunion could have been a great love story, but under the supervision of RTD it was never going to be that, let’s be honest here. He has always had an ulterior agenda to shoehorn Rose into everything, and he managed it through the metacrisis resolution.

Just remind yourself, love, that although Doctor Who has never been about sappy love stories (can’t upset the watching sexist dads, can we), the fanfiction has ALWAYS been dominated by sappy love stories; and long may it continue to do so! 😉☺️

[yukidragon]

I don't know how this site works and if this question has been asked before, but I can't stop thinking about it. After a night together with Jack, which was very significant for both of them, MC goes to open the door for Shaun and spends a lot of time with him, as if forgetting about the naked lover in the bedroom. She doesn't go to him to put him in a situation, but sits with Shaun and talks about crap. I don't know how to interpret it, but it seems sooo weird to me, What can that mean?

For this, I would like to draw attention to MC’s thoughts in the demo at a few scenes. First, here is their thoughts after Ian’s phone call when Jack goes to comfort them.

I’ve felt so bad for so long…I almost feel guilty, how he seems to make it all just disappear… How I think I… Maybe I might just… … ... No. No, something isn’t right about this. I feel for him...But something about this is too good. I won’t use him as a bandage, to cover up the feelings I don’t want to feel.

Then a little later...

After all this time… Is this. Love? Does Jack really make me feel whole, all on his own? Or…Is this just a hallucination too. Is this even real? Do I want to love…A hallucination?

MC regards being with Jack as being in a dreamy haze, as they themselves remark on in the “yes” route.

I can’t help but feel odd when I’m grounded in reality. The things I can see and hear and touch for myself. At the moment. Jack is all that I can see. He’s the most real thing there is. But after that, when anything else has my attention, I can see the utter ludicrousness of the situation. Is it intoxicating? Is that what this is? What is this dreamy haze that I find myself consumed by when it comes to him? …And I still don’t quite know what he is. No. No, I really shouldn’t be giving him this kind of power over me.

Jack’s presence in MC’s life is supernatural, and seems to feel like something out of a dream. When reality snaps us out of that dream and demands our attention, we usually tend to forget about the daydream for the most part and focus on the here and now. This could be the case whenever anything else distracts MC from Jack that he feels less real to them in the same way.

However, it could be something much more mundane than that. MC remarked that they were not quite awake and coherent when talking with Shaun. They forgot he was coming and panicked at that fact. These two things, plus their reunion, could serve as enough of a distraction to make them forget that their lover is waiting for them in the other room. Sometimes people are just awkward that way, and we’ve seen MC get distracted at times when engaging with people, as Jack, Shaun, and Ian comment on in their own ways.

Shaun Jeez. Nice to know you’re still a total space case, huh?

Ian Alice?…Are you alright? I snap out of my blissful trance. Alice Oh. Uh. Yeah! Yeah, no, I’m alright! Ian You’re totally spacing on me…Is everything okay?

Jack Alice? Are you okay? Ack. I jump as I return from the realm of warm fuzzies and back to reality.

I hope you don’t mind that I saved these quotes with my version of the MC’s name in them.

Anyway, it seems to be a plot point in the game that MC is the type of person to “space out” on people. This mild disconnect from reality could be part of why they struggle to believe Jack is even real and wonder if they’re just hallucinating his existence entirely.

If MC has this sort of habit of wandering off inside their head, only to snap back to reality when someone is asking for their attention, they could be used to just pushing everything to the side to focus on what’s immediately in front of them until they’re reminded of other things they should be focused on. This could just be something normal for them, or it could’ve been affected more strongly by their fatigue, Jack’s supernatural nature, or any combination thereof.

This tendency to disconnect from reality might also be another reason why MC is running away from nostalgia so desperately. They need to focus on what’s ahead, not what’s behind, though they can’t seem to help wandering off and getting lost inside their head, as we’ve seen in their narration in the demo.

@channydraws @earthgirlaesthetic @sai-of-the-7-stars @cheriihoney @illary-kore @okamiliqueur  

[jinxedshapeshifter]

i might end up making a side blog dedicated to the good doctor

anyway here are a few reasons i love it so much.

yes the autism representation is good. there are some incredibly subtle representations of autism that are represented that aren't brought up even in autism centric spaces much and that fact makes me incredibly happy (for example, i don't see a lot of discussion about shutdowns, but as someone who experiences shutdowns more than meltdowns, seeing an autistic character shutdown because he's overstimulated, then see another character refer to it as "falling apart" made me feel represented because it can feel like you're falling apart, and from the outside, it looks like you're falling apart). like at the very least i feel represented.

i swear to god lea has adhd. shaun and lea give me audhd couple vibes and i love it. at the absolute least, lea is definitely not neurotypical.

the good doctor made me want to pursue a medical career again. not just "oh, something like bioengineering where i'd be working in the medical field would be super fun!!" no. i want to get a bachelor's in biology, go to medical school, and do a residency in either neurology or surgery (possibly something else, i'm not entirely sure yet). if i can get some structure in my life and find a place to live in salt lake city (where they have a university that doubles as a med school and a teaching/research hospital) i can absolutely start the journey to being a doctor at an actual hospital as soon as next fall.

im learning about actual conditions i didnt know about. did you know theres a real congenital deformity of the spinal cord that leads to your spinal cord being split in half at a certain point, leading to what basically results in two functional spinal cords? or that your heart can develop outside the ribcage, and protrude outside the chest? or that just getting a surgery, no matter how sterile the operating room and surgical tools are, can give you sepsis, because cutting you open can leave you vulnerable to bacteria regardless of sterility of the surgical environment due to the bacteria inside your body (risk goes up depending on the surgery; for example, your risk for sepsis goes up if you get surgery on your intestines for obvious reasons)?

theres what i perceive to be a realistic balance between personal experience/empathy and objective medical knowledge when it comes to the doctors in the good doctor. for example, morgan not wanting to fuck up a patient's chances of playing violin in the future, and this resulting in the patient's arm getting amputated. on the other hand, shaun's objectiveness means in that same situation, he was trying to convince morgan to do testing, something she was hesitant to do. i think that experience helped morgan find a middle ground between being empathetic and being practical about what tests and such she needs to do in the future; as melendez tells her, one day, she will kill a patient. all doctors eventually do; mistakes are made, surgical errors are made, signs and symptoms are missed, things get misdiagnosed, and a patient dies. i feel like that's a very grim reality in medicine that people don't like to acknowledge (especially people who practice medicine) and adds some realism to the good doctor that isn't seen much in shows centered around anything medical. it's something i'll have to accept if i do decide to go into medicine. yes, the goal is to save people; but i can't save everyone, and in my career i will almost be guaranteed to make mistakes that result in someone dying. the earlier i can accept that (before residency is best), the better off i'll be as a doctor, no matter what specialty i decide to go into.

most of shaun's colleagues are super accommodating when it comes to shaun's autism. it's just a detail i appreciate. they also figure out what helps him out of meltdowns/shutdowns fairly fast, which is another thing i can appreciate.

[makahimetenshi]

Addicted to Chems - Paladin Danse x Sole Survivor Fanfic

-Why do you keep consuming that stuff you know that’s junk for your body, even your druggie friends says the same

-Come on you know I only do it for fights

Thing is they where constantly fighting.

After menacing elder Maxson to kill himself if anything happens to Danse, both were spared, well, one exiled, the other one on watch but technically spared. The ex-Paladin had a very delicate situation explaining to himself and the world why he feeled so alone and abandoned and…to make him understand that his life was worthy because there was people that loved him and would cry for his loss Nate took the chance to confess when the opportunity arrived, yes, maybe he wouldn’t confess in the middle of a existencial crisis but it was a right chance to give the man something after loosing everything.

And also his head had been crazy looking for chances to have something with the Paladin. Nate had a growing feeling in his chest since the moment he decided to make the Paladin his companion. Never, never, never had fallen in love or thought about romance with another man, never even feeled attracted but…Danse hit him differently, unexpected.

Nate didn’t thought about being this close with anybody after…what happened to his wife, he promised himself that his only worries would be Shaun and the vengeance of Nora but…it was stronger than him, love is strong, love hits you like a rock in the head and you cant avoid how it makes you feel.

Sometimes, he felt guilty, for betraying Nora like this, he saw her die in front of his eyes not so long ago, a few months in his eyes, Shaun, the gift Nora gave him was now somekind of monster and he didn’t resolve that situation yet , not even a year later he find a new romance and it feels…awfull…Nora was the love of his life and having a growing feeling for another person so…fast…really messed up with his head in guilt and desesperation.

It wasn’t loneliness, Nate managed that well, fighting and looking and learning and doing everything to survive and found Saun, it was something else, he was convinced it was pure love, the kind of love you don’t expect to happened and it just too perfect how it became true. Never think himself with a man and…one day he cant stop thinking on how much he missed just walking with Danse.

The Paladin was great, intelligent, strong, resistant, had a great determination to work…Nate appreciated how the man wasn’t a burden, they were at the same level, he did care and worry about Danse but clearly the Paladin was strong and smart, and that was so reliefing considering how difficult and aggressive his…schedule is day by day.

Some other days, when they were together, Nate found himself looking at Danse and thinking on how handsome it was, even when he never looked a man like that.

Of course, he would confess in another moment, more appropriate for both, but he was happy it happened anyway, and that Danse accepted his feelings in such a personal moment. Clearly the man was willing to make a new life now that his previous one was flipped up.

-You are taking buffout now to be more strong and carry more junk

-Well I want to repair my power-armor and i need this aluminium so…

-Let me carry it! I can help you! Offered you many times!

-What? No way! Im not gonna bother you with this cans, it wouldn’t be appropriate, besides you talk like I have a problem with chems

-You do have a problem with chems

-Im so sorry for being the druggie boyfriend –Danse rolled his eyes, clearly annoyed- come on! Its only for practical purposes! I don’t do mentats for example! That ones are for loosers that cant talk to a girl!

It was true, Nate only takes chems for certains situations, like a fight, or to escape from a situation, to avoid radiation and be stronger, to have more endurance…to carry more weight…

-Well you don’t need them! None of this crap!

-Hey when I get addicted as soon as I can we go to a doctor to fix it, even in the Brotherhood it was normal to do chems according to Knight Cade

-Well it wasn’t exactly a good thing for him to make you know that…

-Why?

-If people thinks that doing chems is normal and not that bad it would cost personal and resources to the Brotherhood, interfiering with the day by day chores…

-Come on even at the Institute they do chems, once even pay me with it–Danse looked at him bad- Look I was in the military too, before you small youngling –the man laughted, loved when Nate do that joke about their ages- we didn’t do drugs back then, there where a lot of test anti-dopping and the consequences for being positive where so severe –Oh no, the pond of memorys was always a down for Nate, but he constantly will be remembering old memories…it didn’t past that much for him after all- I left drugs at early age, when I enter the military, because I was a very patriot man with a lot of sense of responsibility in the army and…I take chems here…in the commonwealth…after the appocalipse –Nate bit his lip, feeling a bitter taste coming from that subject…

-Im worried about you, I know that not being open to the subject is a mistake because humans have natural tools to process drugs, it’s a very natural thing, but once you killed a granny by giving her the chems she was asking –once Danse mentioned that about Mama Murphy a hand went to cover his face, he often tries to forget that episode.

-I was desesperate for answers and that woman was right about everything…-by that time, he was in the search of Kellogg. Of course it wasn’t a necessary sacrifice, it was something he would like to forget for the rest of his life and his mind wouldn’t let him, an error, a terrible error, paid with the life of a woman that only helped him, it was a dark chapter for him.

-Im not judging you, just to remind you on first hand how this stuff is, even the ghoul mayor friend of yours do concern

-You know, back there, when I was young in the university we had this stuff that was white dust…-Danse looked at him bad, again, clearly tired of the subject- again babe, sorry for being the dopped boyfriend –the ex-Paladin started to walk away from that useless attempt to save his boyfriend health, and Nate followed him, getting on front and hugging him by the neck, the height differences between them when one was with the power armor and the other not were huge, but still he managed to hug him and make the ex-Paladin stop on his runaway-heyhey…do I tell you enought how much I love your hair? –Nate started to caress his perfect black and shiny Pompadour.

-Gosh you are high –despite being annoyed, he liked the feeling of his hands over his scalp

-Buffout doesn’t cause allucinations or a state of conscious, this thing is back from my days small youngling, I fucking meant what I say about your hair –Nate laughted at see him blush –im so relieved that you didn’t find yet where I hid that awfull hat…

-I swear to you if this nonsense of hiding my cap continues any longer…

-Come on is just a hat not a helmet, I refuse to spend another day without that perfect hairstyle –he didn’t remember being this happy, this dreamy talking, this overjoyed with just being around someone you love  before…that broadcast on the television before everything change forever.

Turning a man who always considered himself straight to bi was a challenge, it started with feelings, definitely some feelings, their connection was so natural and the air betweem them was so confortable that a…flirting joke not so joke would pass away…right? But when Danse reacted so cute to that…confession not confession it definetly turned down the table for him.

And them at each encounter Danse looked more and more and more handsome, despite not changing anything about his aspect, and not even pass many hours between the last time they see each other.

God he fall in love so hard.

Danse smiled with tenderness –Lets reach Jamaica Plain to fix that power armor, I don’t like being out of the settlement, this is the area of the gunner brigadiers and theres a lot around this settlement, we only went out because you said you were…out of trash…

-Well not a lot of caravans move to this sides…so I cant be…out of cash –Danse silly laughted, and Nate had a bright smile after seeing him enjoy that joke –speaking of which we can make a little stop before going to the settlement to…-that silence give Danse al the information he needed

-What? Absolutely not

-Why not? I can show you how im not affected at all

-If you take buffout the effect is going to last for 3 days at least, just like any other druggie you cant keep it hard the whole thing –Nate now feeled insulted, especially when Danse started to walk away faster

-Well I can still suck you dick to make you cum! –how dare Danse speak to him about that, damn switch.

-Then you will be unable to cum because of the chems and spend all that grumpy –when the ex-Paladin make that statement, Nate turned ashamed, yep, it was true, not gonna lie –Also I don’t like the sex with you being high, is like…taking advantage…

Oh…sweet boy…well of course it was like that but he had full confidence in Danse and allowed him to do that in that circunstances, also he enjoyed the overstimulation caused by some chems…like jet…and never practiced before in sex…

Nate took his big metal armored hand, walking with him.

-You win, don’t worry about me, I know what im doing…

-Every druggie says that –says Dance with a really dark voice.

Nate was a first hand fighther since the day he trow rockets, misils, fatmans and granades like crazy after finding a Behemot by accident sleeping in a lake in the middle of Boston, that day, he won a super weapon, a weapon that Danse considered an abomination but…god dammit Nate loved it. The GRA was a robot arm with a piece of concrete and some bars attached, really really poor desing, obviously improvised and not secure at all but god damn it hitted well.

Danse see how Nate exploded supermutants heads with just that fist, it was crazy how the weight of a piece of concrete was so dense and barbaric…

And it worked.

But because of that Nate take a lot of chems, Jet, Psyco, Buffout, Med-X, Stempacks, he needed the adrenaline to lift that weapon, he needed his muscles to forget how to set an alarm of “hey this is so much more than we can handle”, he needed his spine to work much more than its limitations, he needed the inhibition to go forward his target and kill it at once.

It was destructive, for Nate and everyone in front of him defying him.

Yeah, it was an effective weapon, but at what cost.

It was crazy how that thinn man in a vault suit, with just a military armor scavenged from gunner brigadiers and military ghouls goes all high straight up to battle with a fucking concrete fist and wins.

I mean Danse didn’t discuss the results but…

It was dangerous, extremely dangerous, god he now gets something important in his life and despite being…indestructible at sight…it was so scary, Nate moved in such a scary way that it makes him comtemplate all the possible ways of dying horrible, it makes Danse stomach falls to the ground everytime he sees Nate pulling out that damn fist.

How can a piece of concrete can be more trilling than a laser rifle? Nate managed to do that work.

At least ghouls didn’t have a chance.

The vault suited man can receive a hit by a supermutant hammer and not being annoyed at all.

A fucking Deathclaw can throw him into the ground like a kid with a toy and if he is in Psyco it would just shake his head a bit and nothing more.

Raiders with a minigun? No problem, some Med-X and gotta gofastfastgaster to the objective and blow up his brain.

Gosh so risky.

Still, so brave.

And full of energy, and anger, agony, desire of vengeance and resentment.

A lot of negative emotions drive Nate to fist supermutant in the face and make it explode.

Making it something that really amazed Danse.

Nate was a dangerous man, that will do everything to complete his goals, but he didn’t feel threatened by him.

But such a strong determination make Danse the chance to develop more deeping feelings than just admiration…

When Nate flirted with him the first time and Danse responded that he was surprised but he would take the time to think about it…he meant it serious.

But yeah, the vault suited man sometimes get on his nerves, he was still, to rigid from what he was told his entire existence, about rules and things worked in the Brotherhood. It was a process, a transformation, he often correct himself to say things he would say…if he was still in the Brotherhood…better left that chapter go slowly…

-To make you the point that im not so ruined like a raider I tell you something, when I was in the military I saved enough money for my wife to not work, have a baby and be at home with our newborn for a lot of time, as I was retired like a veteran, and despite having all that money I didn’t do drugs, god, there was money in this country, so much money, so much growing and progress…-despite that anecdotes weren’t a reliave font of data for a search or manuscript, it was so interesting hearing Nate talk about Pre-War, obviously Danse had a lot of Brotherhood transcripted data with their vision of the world still, but it was pretty similar with Nate point of view of how he lived that ages.

-Don’t worry, ill cover your ass when your agility is compromised by some chem and take you to the closest doctor as possible

-Love you, althought im the one that cover your ass if you know what I mean…-and Danse hits on his head with his laser rifle, god, buffouts doesn’t really makes you high?

-You are unbereable like this.

-Leave it all to the chemmy boyfriend

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/14226433/1/Addicted-to-Chems

[fallout-drabbles-n-stuff]

abshwvshsh imagine Paladin Danse with Baby Fever.

Got alittle drabble?

*I got like an idea where Paladin Danse and Alex(fallout oc) go on a mission and end up finding an orphan baby and as Alex is taking care of it, Paladin Danse is like 😍😍🤩🤩. So yea lol.*

(I totally deviated from the prompt but I was hoping this would be satisfactory as well? 😅 if not, I'm more than happy to write for the original prompt, just send me another ask)

Perhaps this feeling was simply a product of the desertion he felt after exile.

You were so very kind to him. You were there for him when he had hit the lowest point fathomable, when his life as he knew it was ripped away from him and left him with this deep melancholic emptiness. It took time, of course, but like always- you were patient with him, truly there for him.

If asked, Danse wouldn't know exactly how you did it, but piece after piece you managed to put back together what he once felt was broken beyond repair. Maybe it was the way you valiantly fought to reassure his life's value, maybe it was the long days you spent at his side so he may not feel lonesome, but most likely it was the love you professed that let him know that if someone as wonderful as you could have such profound feelings for something like him...then yes, maybe he was truly worth more than he believed.

Nonetheless, there were still some times that Danse would sit in your cozy little home, a far off look in his eyes as he thought deeply about something you just couldn't quite put your finger on. Once, you would've been able to just look at him and know what troubled him- a trait he didn't care for in the slightest- but lately...he wasn't quite as easy to read.

His identity would forever be something he struggled with no matter how much progress the two of you made, this you knew and understood, but whatever was on his mind as of recent didn't seem to have the same effect. For instance, these moments you'd catch him in..he wouldn't look nearly as tense, which may be a fruitless observation to note- but hey, every little detail meant something with Danse. In addition to this, the proud ex-paladin would usually seek your comfort if his mind raced to such dark places and now he would only sit in silence.

Instead you were left puzzled, watching the man you love sit and continue on with his mental strife- only moving every so often to fidget with the glistening metallic band on his left ring finger.

You never would've guessed that the reason he was so deep in though stemmed from the child sitting on your kitchen counter, eating one of Danse's prized snack cakes with Shaun. The child happened to be one of the settler's kids, a little girl around six years of age- so far too young to help out in the farm, and too young to leave unattended..so naturally, with you being the bleeding heart you are, you agreed to help out the girl's parents and watch her every so often while they worked. Besides, after your marriage to Danse..and Shaun coming home, there wasn't very much adventuring going on anymore. It wasn't a big deal though, Shaun rather liked having company (even if he preferred hanging out with Duncan more) and having a younger child around didn't bother you in the slightest.

Unbeknownst to you, watching the way you cared for the two children really struck a nerve within Danse. It was almost enchanting to watch you fuss after them, leading his mind to wander off to the most fantastical places.

"Okay, Shaun, do you think you can handle taking her back home? Her ma and pa should be finished working out in the field by now. I'll send Dogmeat with you." You spoke, receiving a rather exasperated expression from your little boy as he gracelessly slid off the counter, feet landing with a soft *thud*.

He proceeded to hold a hand out to his much shorter, younger friend to help her down. "No problem mom..." He all but grumbled as he began to lead her out the side door. A blur of brown and black fur at your feet let you know your faithful companion was at attention and ready to escort the two children- a happy bark followed by the closing of the door eased your mind shortly thereafter.

Had it been anywhere else, you probably wouldn't have let Shaun leave without you or Danse..but given that the girl's parents lived two doors down- you didn't really worry. However, you DID worry about the ex-paladin.

With a casual sigh, you sauntered your way into the living room- only a little surprised when you realized your entrance hadn't done much to catch his attention. Regardless, you pushed on and decided to sit right beside him- smiling just the slightest bit whenever his gaze finally shifted away from his wedding band and to you instead.

"Alright." You began, making no qualms about scotching closer over to him until he instinctively wrapped an arm around your shoulder. "What's eating at you?" You simply prodded, head resting on his chest.

Danse visibly stiffened, as though under the impression that his silence went unnoticed. He couldn't have been more wrong- he knew better than to think anything would get passed you. Even if it had, the thrumming of his synthetic heart against your ear surely gave him away.

Before he dignified your question with a response, he shifted around so that he could properly face you- still holding you yet able to move his head in such a way that he might be able to see the way you'd react completely to what his next words were going to be. And…maybe to get your attention away from the heavy beating in his chest.

That's really when you noticed it. The fleeting look in his eyes, the unsteadiness of his breath, the slight pink shade decorating his nose and cheeks..Danse was nervous.

"This..I apologize but this going to seem completely out of the blue.." He finally spoke, sighing as he closed his eyes just for a brief moment- trying to collect himself so that his nerves might not get the best of him. This is a matter that he had been wrestling with for some time now, the last thing he wanted was to get so anxious that he couldn't speak.

Alas, calming down seemed to only get harder for him. True, it had only been a few seconds since he spoke but the way you looked at him, so concerned and so..sweet, made time slow down and his damned heart incomprehensibly race.

"Whatever it is Danse, I've got you.." Great- now that concern he picked up on was lacing your voice as well.

Was it truly necessary for him to complicate things to such extremes? It's not like the topic was completely alien to either one of you..and damnit, you're the one person he felt he could speak his mind freely to..so why wasn't this any easier?

Then came the words you never, ever, ever, would've expected to hear from his mouth.

With his eyes soft, and his voice even more so, Danse spoke. "I know we have Shaun, and don't get me wrong- I truly do love the boy as a son, my son...but have you ever considered what having a child of our own would be like?" It was in that instant that Danse realized how abrupt his words may have came out, that tender gaze of his slowly retreating to look anywhere but you. "Forgive me, it's um..it's selfish of me to anticipate you being ready for such a thing, especially considering what we have both went through this past year.."

Unable to focus on much else but the drumming noise inside your head from the profound beat of your heart, your trembling hands grabbed at his and squeezed.

"You know..you have a bad habit of cutting me off before I can tell you what I think, sir." You laughed, trying to distract from the tears threatening to well up. Sure, it may have been a slight over reaction but..with Danse wanting a family..it was one hell of a step in a good direction. "What happened in the past..well, it should stay there. The two of us have something most people never get, we have the ability to start anew and leave our troubles behind us, Danse. So...god, I don't think much else would make me happier than having a baby with you.."

Once the ex-Paladin got over the initial shock of your words, he all but mauled you in a breath-stealing kiss- his arms wrapping tightly around you to the point of making the promise of breath a distant memory. Nonetheless, you couldn't help but enthusiastically kiss the man back...at least until-

"MOM! Gross!!" Shaun shrieked, having opened the door at quite possibly the least opportune time. Great.

Danse pulled back with a shameful blush on his face, averting his eyes from the young boy who was now fake gagging as he walked off to his room.

“Guess we oughta see if Mac is up for letting Shaun stay over with Duncan..hm? You know, just to get a head start..” to this, the ex-paladin’s adorable blush deepened tenfold.

Fantastic....or rather...outstanding.

[hikarumkns]

Sk8 episode 7 (Reki & Langa)

So again I would like to apologise for posting this up a bit late but it's so worth talking about. I won't really mention tricks since there was hardly any. This episode hurt y'all for many reasons.

Spoilers for episode 7

.

.

I love the way the this episode started. There's the chemistry we see with Langa and Rekiz; the admiration, the friendship and the wholehearted vibes we get from these two. If it's anything I can say is that, despite everything else, this episode made me realize that yes, I'm watching an anime. And although that may sound strange, it's because this show has done an excellent job at keeping these characters real and extremely relatable.

By the way, Langa is waxing the bottom of his deck so he can grind on rails and stuff. Street skaters also apply wax to ledges and rails to grind on them so their boards don't skid or get caught on something that can potentially cause injury. Just so it's smoother going down.

You knew something was gonna happen when the episode started with the opening rather than giving us a little something something on what the episode would be about. There's a lot to unpack.

Reki and Langa have a great friendship. They have common interests and they have a basic understanding of one another but they lack core communication and this episode proves it. For one, I was really heartbroken when I heard that people acknowledged Langa but not Reki. Who did they think introduced Langa to the S course?? That was extremely rude and to have him hear that they actually disregarded him really did a number on me.

I would want to mention that from this point forward I'll be splitting this into two sections.

I'll start with Reki.

To start off, I knew this would happen at some point with Reki. From the minute Langa went up against ADAM, I knew Reki would feel left out or that he would think he's not worth it which is totally not the case. Reki doesn't know his worth and while it may have taken him longer to grasp the basics and so on and so forth of Skateboarding, that doesn't make him a horrible skater.

I think Kaoru kind of said it perfectly but maybe didn't word it properly which just added more to the turmoil Reki feels. The fact that Langa has been snowboarding for a long time, not to mention had a good teacher who I assume was his father; his body had developed. It's much easier to get used to Skateboarding after snowboarding. The reason for that is that with snowboarding, your feet are actually in binds hence why Langa taped his feet onto the deck. With Skateboarding, you can easily jump off. There's mobility and there's more freedom. Though because of this, tricks are harder but it's faster to get used to. So of course Langa picked up relatively fast.

A good example of this in real life would be Shaun White. He's a pro snowboarder who went to win, I'm not sure if several, gold medals in the X Games in Skateboarding. AND in Vert. I mentioned this before that at some point in time we'd see Langa doing vert and lo and behold he did. Shaun White also did vert. It's not that Reki is bad, Skateboarding is difficult and some people pick it up faster than others and that's where I think Kaoru might have messed up because he explained Langa's skill too technical which Reki took that into account. What didn't help were those guys who mentioned he was a loser.

THEY SHOULD TRY MAKING A BOARD TO FIT SOMEONE LIKE LANGA

...

ANYWAY. Reki is great at what he does. He's innovative and the support that is needed to keep the group going. If it wasn't for him, Miya wouldn't be there with them. He's the glue to the whole group. Reki, despite his issue still cares about Langa and holds nothing against him. In fact, he takes the burden without pointing blame which really proves this boys character. I do understand where Reki is coming from and I wish he would've tried to kind of explain it to Langa at least or what's worse, Langa explain why he wants to go up against ADAM. Which brings us to our next boy.

I do want to point out that Langa isn't an adrenaline junkie. From what I've gathered and based off my opinion, I think after his father passed away, he never touched his snowboard. Meaning all those years of training, all of those years of practicing and snowboarding (these things become apart of you when you're doing it on a daily basis) he threw it away. So I believe what we see both when he goes against ADAM and when he's going through this moment is him trying to get that exhilaration back.

After idk how many months or years of not snowboarding, he probably decided never to do it again but then met Reki, he became interested in Skateboarding and he realized that he can gain something from it. I believe in this case, if I'm right, ADAM will be the one to awaken his true skills in this sense and get him back to where he was if not further.

Langa is a professional or at least, can be as stated by Miya, Kaoru, Joe... He has the ability to push himself. He has the ability to be to grow from a challenging situation. What happened with ADAM was exciting to him because he's being challenged, he's being pushed to think outside the box. That's why he finds those who are good, regardless of the situation, amazing.

I loved this episode so much lol

Reki doesn't understand that because he doesn't know what that's like and Langa doesn't know how to explain it because it's a feeling he himself doesn't understand. It's hard to put into words. They're both not communicating with each other well and can't figure out how. Watching Reki try to do a wallride was hard to witness. There's so much in there that he can't really understand about Langa.

Not to backtrack, but the reason why Langa can go high is because the boy is used to it. You get a lot of air snowboarding and in Skateboarding that's not really necessary but in snowboarding it is. Langa is also tall, his board is longer and if you want to count his arm span, Langa can reach it no problem.

These boys need a hard sit down. Reki, sweetie, you're not talentless and Langa it's okay to talk about it. Please y'all making everyone HURT.

WHEW

I'll probably make another post because ADAM...I haven't forgotten about you. You make me upset!

[noah-moth-cursed-chaos]

“No.” Kyou stared at the old man in front of her. He needed to dye his roots, the red and gray were starting to show through the blonde. She didn’t know what made him think she was giving up the type of information he was asking for, but he was sure stupid for it. She wondered if she should say he knew who he was. Basil Dill. Corrupt sh^tbag of a scientist, who was trying to track down past experiments. Did she know where some of those experiments were? Absolutely. Shaun bought her cool pillows he found sometimes and Wes paid her a lot for info on bank security. No way she was betraying either of them for this guy though.

“No?” He seemed like he wasn’t used to hearing that. Old, evil, and entitled. A triple whammy. Kyou would rather be home doing her homework for human geography.

“You heard me. You’re not getting shit I know, and I seriously doubt anyone else in the city is going to answer those questions either.” She stated, “Cut your losses and fuck off back to your hole before you ask the wrong person and get stabbed, old fart.”

“Do you know who I am?”

She sighed, rolling her eyes, “Basil Dill. 61. Creator of the ‘sentinels’ and the first person to successfully do cloning of humans. Used to work for Blackwell. Yes I know who you are. You don’t scare me. I’ve turned down worst customers than you. Do you know who I am? The connections I have in this city? If you touch me you’re screwed.” That wasn’t necessarily the truth. It was totally plausible that Basil could kick her ass and leave her in this alley, or kill her, or kidnap her, or anything else and nobody would find out and nothing would happen. Maybe nobody would care at all. But Basil didn’t need to know that. Being a kid doing this type of stuff was dangerous enough, it’s best to not let people know that technically nobody really has your back.

“Screwed, huh?” Basil approached her, surprisingly calm. It suddenly registered that she was closer to the wall. Rookie mistake.

“Absolutely.” She tried to look calm, not bothering to back away, she’d have a better chance of waiting until he was a certain distance away and trying to run past him.

“I suppose we’ll just have t-“ Now. She bolted, ducking under his arm. She didn’t even round the corner before she felt something hit her in the head and she fell over, her vision going black.

She came to handcuffed to a metal chair, in what looked to be an interrogation room. Their head still hurt, but less than they expected it to. Her chair sat at a table, another chair across from her. The rest of the room was… mind numbingly plain.

She didn’t know how long she was sitting there before she heard a door behind her open. “Well! Look who’s finally up!” Basil’s voice.

“I’ve been up for ages, you’re just slow as balls.” They grumbled, “Do you make bad attempts to give everyone who ticks you off a concussion or am I special?”

“… do you lack a survival instinct? More people shut up once they realize they’re fully at someone else’s mercy.” The scientist walked in front of her, sitting in a the empty chair.

“At this point in my life I am not convince I can die, and I welcome any overzealous asshat to try.”

“… well. That’s something to get into later.” He sighed, “Ready to talk yet?”

“Fuck you.”

“… are you trying to make me hurt you?”

“Go ahead.” Kyou sneered, “You’ll regret it when someone comes for me.”

“Really? Someone will come for you? Who? The heartless criminals that took vague pity on you, or maybe that poor retiree you keep harassing who doesn’t even want you around?” Basil scoffed, “Are the ghosts going to come after me? Any of the foster parents who didn’t want you? The teachers who think you’re an annoyance? Nobody in this city is going to miss you. I can keep you here as long as you want. Nobody will miss you. I give it a month before you’re forgotten entirely. You’re nothing but an unwanted, unloved, orphan runaway that doesn’t know when to quit. And I’ll be very happy to remind you of that.”

Kyou stared at him, unsure how to react, how much about her did he know? Then her brain narrowed on one thing, ‘or maybe that poor retiree you keep harassing who doesn’t even want you around?’ He had to be talking about Zeph. She wouldn’t necessarily call him a retiree but. It had to be him. That was ridiculous. Zeph wanted her around. Right? He was probably worried sick right now. He was probably looking for her. When he found her they could go home and this whole thing could be over.

But… did he really care or was it obligation? It wasn’t like he’d wanted anything to do with her at first. Why did she assume that changed? It made sense for an adult to worry about her. She was a homeless teenager basically trying to get in trouble. Of course it made sense for him to try and make sure she at least stayed alive. It didn’t mean he cared for her. It just meant he didn’t want her dead.

What if one day he decided she was too much trouble? What if he told her to get lost?

Sure, she knew she could just go back to the way things had been but…

As much as she didn’t want to admit it, she needed people a lot more than she thought. And not just a few nicer ghosts or people who were kind to her in brief meetings. People who she was close to. People who cared for her that she cared for in return.

And she needed someone she could call family. Zeph was probably the closest thing to a father she’d had in her life.

She knew that from a logical standpoint, if he gave up on her she could just continue living the way she had.

But from an annoying emotional standpoint she sometimes wished would just go bury itself, she didn’t think she’d ever recover losing the only family she had. Especially not because of herself.

They must have been thinking for longer than they realized because Basil sighed and got up, “Fine then, brat. I have about a billion and one experiments I’d love to do. I’m sure after being the subject for a few of them you’ll crack.” With that he got up and left the room, returning with two needles, a tripod, and a camera. He put the needles on the table before he set up the tripod and camera.

He returned to the table, where Kyou was trying to tug at her restraints, screaming her head off, definitely not wanting to find out what was in those.

Of course Kyou didn’t know how to get out of handcuffs, and a grown man Basil’s size was decently stronger than a scrawny teen. So the needles’ contents were administered anyway, and Basil began talking to his camera before leaving the room.

Kyou continued yelling, but noticed it getting harder, and an odd tingling spreading throughout her body, starting at the injection site. As it got harder and harder to move at all, the sensation got stronger and stronger until it was painful. She lost the ability to move before the pain reached its peak. It was hell. She was in hell. She had to be. Every fiber of her being was lit up in red hot excruciating pain, but she couldn’t move, couldn’t scream. Her tongue and her limbs felt like lead. Her heart even felt like it was beating slower, making her light headed, her brain begging her body to just give up and let her faint, but her body refusing to forcing her to endure the very air around her turning into another thing that worsened the pain.

She had no clue how long it was before the affects subsided, and she finally collapsed, exhausted. She woke up in a cold cell, body uncomfortably tossed onto a concrete floor. She looked up and saw… a 6’ demolition dummy robot in a hoodie? She scrambled against the wall, “Back off-whatever you are!! I-I kick really hard!”

“… that would be a bad idea. I’m made of metal.” The robot seemed a bit confused by her reaction, “I uhm.” They looked around quickly, before pulling… a lunchable and a caprisun out of their hoodie? “Here.” They bent down to put them on the floor right inside the bars, glancing around once again. They were… scared? Kyou suddenly felt bad for her initial reaction. She walked over, taking the items.

“… thank you.”

“I-if anyone finds that, I didn’t give them to you okay? Basil won’t hurt you for having them but…” They trailed off, “… I don’t think he’d feed you and. You’re just a kid I… you need to eat.”

“… do you have a name?” She asked, “I’m Kyou.”

“Sin-Sinoc-Sinocall-no that’s not how you…” He sighed, “I can’t pronounce it-but- You can call me Demo!”

Kyou giggled, “It’s nice to meet you Demo.”

“I gotta go now, but I’ll be back!” The robot got up, and ran off. Kyou cringed when she heard them turn the corner and fall.

Sadly, despite Demo’s brief and nervous visits, a lot of… well Kyou had no way to tell how long she was in there… a lot of her time was spent in Basil’s tests. At the same time she seemed to be coming down with something. She could barely keep food down, and after the food was gone it was stomach acid. Her throat was raw and scratchy and eventually blood started coming up with the bile.

As if the drugging and the illness wasn’t enough, Basil seemed to be pretty good at waging psychological warfare against his captives too. And Kyou was starting to believe him.

If anyone out there was looking… they would’ve found her. But nobody had. Everyone probably forgot she existed. Zeph was probably relieved to have her out of his hair. She didn’t think she’d ever cried so much in her life. She wanted to die. If she was dead hopefully she’d just depart. If she was departed maybe everything wouldn’t be pain.

It was about two weeks before Demo had found where Basil hid that poor kid’s belongings. Or some of them anyway. A phone and a wallet. He had no clue if that was all she’d had on her. During those two weeks the way she deteriorated scared the ever living tar out of the robot. She was losing weight alarmingly quickly from how hard her body was fighting just to keep her alive with everything Basil was doing. The fact that she couldn’t seem to keep anything down didn’t help. She had dark circles under her eyes and constantly looked like she could collapse. She barely spoke and when she did it was obvious that it hurt like hell. The day before he’d found the items she’d slept the whole day through. At one point Demo thought the poor kid might actually be dead.

Thankfully Mockingbird was able to hack the phone pretty easily, and turn off the passcode lock so Demo could turn it on whenever.

Demo had already knew where Basil kept the cell keys since before Kyou was even there. So getting into the cell when she was sleeping was easy. Sneaking out of the labs unseen wasn’t as easy, but he managed.

Then it was just to… somewhere. He chose a park. It was fairly public. The sun would be up soon and then people would be here.

He opened the phone and looked at the texts. The most recent was ‘Best Kinda Dad Ever(Zeph)’. He sent the phones location to that contact, before placing it by Kyou along with her wallet. “… please be safe.” He whispered, before rushing off.

Was what he’d done risky? Yes.

But he refused to watch another kid die. And he didn’t think they would’ve lasted much longer.

@cloudedgalactica come get your angst juice dude

[trashyswitch]

Shaun's First Playful Tickle Attack

Shaun had been accidentally taught that tickling was done when he did something wrong. So when Dr. Melendez suggests that Shaun should be tickled for fun, Shaun is surprised.

This fanfic has been on the back burner for a while. I hope you enjoy it!

Tickling had always been a somewhat confusing thing to Shaun. Steve used to get tickled by their mother a couple times, but she rarely ever did it to him, fearing it may cause him to freak out. The truth was, his mom wasn't really wrong. Thinking back on it now, he probably would've freaked out. But that's only because he'd barely been tickled enough to understand the feeling before his teen years. Steve attempted to tickle him once, but that ended in Shaun falling off the bed and hitting his elbow.

Then, Dr. Glassman came into his life.

Well, more like he came into Dr. Glassman's life.

About a week after taking Shaun in, Dr. Glassman was trying to explain how inconvenient and annoying leaving the plate on the table was. Unfortunately, Dr. Glassman had raised his voice to a louder volume, and this caused Shaun to burst out crying and run out of the room and far away from the man. Eventually, Dr. Glassman realized that Shaun is very sensitive to yelling of any kind.

So, he tried taking things away. But Shaun didn’t really understand that ‘taking something away = punishment’. Eventually though, Shaun realized what it meant and HATED it. He wouldn’t sleep with the item taken away, and he quickly antsy and all over the place. But everything finally clicked together the day Dr. Glassman gave the item back. He started sleeping better, he grew less agitated, and he talked a lot more.

Since taking anything away only seemed to make matters worse, he had to come up with something different.

And then he remembered his daughter. His daughter was definitely a special one, who learned how to use tickling on him whenever she disagreed with a rule or wanted to rebel. So the moment Dr. Glassman used tickling to get Shaun to go to bed, he felt like he had hit the jackpot! And the greatest part? He reacted positively to it! He quickly began to use tickling as a method of discipline. Whenever Shaun tried to lie or refused to do anything, Dr. Glassman would tickle him in order to change his mindset and encourage this new rule. In the long run, this was a lot more successful than he expected. And even though some people found tickling to be questionable and controversial in Shaun’s case, Dr. Glassman would proudly say how well it worked in Shaun's case.

One day, Dr. Browne, Dr. Murphy, Dr. Reznick, Dr. Kalu and Dr. Melendez were attempting to help a girl that had cancer in her arm. Unfortunately, Shaun was being particularly annoying by interrupting the other doctors. After the third time of being interrupted, Dr. Melendez had enough. As soon as Shaun interrupted him again, He attempted to elbow Shaun in the arm, to shut him up. Unfortunately, he accidentally elbowed Shaun's ribs, and caused Shaun to jump and yelp in the middle of his words. Dr. Melendez immediately turned to him, surprised at his reaction.

Shaun's cheeks immediately turned red and he straightened up his posture.

"Okay. I'm done." Shaun said. Dr. Melendez eyed him up curiously, but went back to helping the patient.

After the entire ordeal, Shaun had gotten better at talking when no one else was. But that didn't stop Dr. Melendez from pulling him aside and asking him some questions.

"Are you okay?" Dr. Melendez asked.

Shaun nodded and fiddled with his fingers.

"Well...I appreciate that you immediately stopped after I elbowed you, but why did you stop? I see you as the kind of person who would do it no matter what I did." Dr. Melendez said. Shaun stopped fiddling with his fingers and looked towards Dr. Melendez's general direction.

"You tickled me for interrupting you. So I stopped." Shaun replied.

The conversation started to grow awkward.

“Did I?” Dr. Melendez asked. “Is that why you made that noise?”

Shaun started blushing all over again as he nodded.

“So...you stopped after I tickled you. Did I accidentally fluster you into stopping? Or is something else going on that I don’t know about?” Dr. Melendez asked.

Shaun looked in his general direction. “Why are you so insistent on knowing?” Shaun asked.

“Cause it was unusual. Usually people who are tickled for their actions, will continue it to get more tickles. Repeat, repeat.” Dr. Melendez explained.

Shaun showed him a confused, surprised face. “That’s never been my experience.”

Dr. Melendez started to realize what might’ve been going on. “You experienced tickling as a punishment...didn’t you?” Dr. Melendez asked him.

Shaun straightened up. “Yes. Whenever I didn’t do something, Dr. Glassman used to tickle me." Shaun explained.

"Oh…So, you've been hardwired to see tickling as a sort of disciplinary action?" Dr. Melendez asked.

"I'm a human, not a robot." Shaun corrected.

"Sorry, you were taught it’s a disciplinary action?" Dr. Melendez corrected himself.

Shaun nodded and smiled a little.

Dr. Melendez scratched the back of his head. "Oh. I'm sorry Shaun. I'll be honest: It was an accident. I tried to elbow your arm, not your rib." Dr. Melendez explained.

Shaun looked up towards Dr. Melendez's direction and nodded. "I forgive you." Shaun replied.

"But I just wanna say something." Dr. Melendez started, and sat down beside him. "Have you ever been tickled for fun?" Dr. Melendez asked.

"Yes. Steve tickled me to try and get some information from me, once." Shaun replied.

"That doesn't count.” Dr. Melendez said.

“Okay. My Mom didn’t like tickling me. She was scared I wouldn’t like it.” Shaun explained.

“Well…” Dr. Melendez cleared his throat. “Tickling is also supposed to be a fun thing." Dr. Melendez said. Shaun tilted his head to the side, like a curious puppy.

"Whenever my sister was sad, I'd tickle her to make her happy. And vice-versa. I would also tickle her when I haven't done it in ages and needed to see that side of her again." Dr. Melendez explained.

"Tickling has always been used to help me become independent and obedient. But I've only been tickled for fun a few times. It went wrong. Very wrong." Shaun said, looking down.

Dr. Melendez had made up his mind right then and there. He got up, walked around and started closing all the window blinds. Then he sat down beside Shaun again. He had a good idea planned.

Dr. Melendez went around and made sure to close some windows and the main door to offer Shaun some privacy. "Do you wanna experience it now?" Dr. Melendez asked. Shaun looked towards Dr. Melendez's general direction, and nodded.

Suddenly, Dr. Melendez pounced on him. Shaun yelped and looked around. “I feel nervous!”

“I know! That’s a good thing in this situation!” Dr. Melendez said as he pinned down Shaun's wrists with one hand above Shaun's head.

"Is...pinning down the opponent, an important part of this process?" Shaun asked.

"Yes. Yes it is. Now, where to start..." Dr. Melendez wondered out loud. He decided to try the sides, and he wasn't disappointed.

"Gahahahaha! Hehehe! Stahap!" Shaun asked through his laughter.

Shaun's laughter was more bubbily and higher pitched when he was tickled. Whenever he was just laughing at something, it was always silent and short.

Dr. Melendez experimented on different spots, and found out something incredible! His laughter changes drastically, depending on where he is tickled!

When his sides and ribs were tickled…

“EEEEHAHAHAHAHAHA! BAHHAHAHA!”

...His laughter was high pitched and loud. When he tickled Shaun's stomach or neck,

“Hehehehehehehe, tihihihihicklihihihihish!”

his laughter turned into adorable medium soft giggles. However, when Shaun was tickled on his feet...

Shaun went silent.

"You're not ticklish there?!" Dr. Melendez exclaimed, unable to sympathize.

"I'm not." Shaun replied.

Dr. Melendez shrugged his shoulders and moved on. He tried the armpits-

“aaaAAAAHAHAHA! NAHAT THERE! PLEHEHEHEHEHEASE!”

-Which caused Shaun to scream and squirm all over the place. Dr. Melendez stopped the moment Shaun told him no.

And lastly: he tried the back.

It was very uncommon for a person to be ticklish there, but Dr. Melendez's sister was ticklish there, making it common enough for him. As soon as Dr. Melendez drew a line up his back, Shaun squealed like a little girl, and his body flopped backwards onto the couch.

"Okay...I'm done now." Dr. Melendez concluded. Shaun laid on the couch, attempting to take in as much breath as possible.

"Tha...thank...you." Shaun said. Dr. Melendez turned around.

"For what?" Dr. Melendez asked. Shaun put his index finger up at him, to give him another minute to breath and pull himself together.

"For...For stopping...and for showing me...tickling can be fun." Shaun said slowly, between breaths. Dr. Melendez smiled in response. “It is fun. Just overwhelming.” Shaun told him.

“Alright. I’ll make sure to go a little easier on you next time.” Dr. Melendez promised.

Shaun nodded. “Okay. Can you do it again?” Shaun asked.

Dr. Melendez smiled and started laughing. “Really? You want me to tickle you again?” Dr. Melendez asked.

“Yes. It was fun. Please tickle me again!” Shaun took the doctor’s hand and held it up. “Please?”

Dr. Melendez smiled and wiggled them as his hand was held. Shaun showed off his toothy grin and giggled at the hand.

“I have butterflies in my tummy.” Shaun told him.

“I’m sure you do.” Dr. Melendez told him.

Shaun smiled as he got closer and closer. This was gonna be fun!

[nothingwithdignity]

Kima had lain awake all night. She had said she wasn’t going to go and Allura had almost convinced her to stay. She really hated to do anything that would scare or anger her wife, but they’d put aside their rules for the sake of the world before and Kima could tell desperation when she saw it. Allura might want to sit this one out, understandably enough, but Kima didn’t think she could. She’d just have to hope Allie would have the chance to forgive her some day.

Kima slipped slowly and gently from the bed, hoping against hope that her wife would sleep soundly. But as soon as her weight left the mattress, Allura stirred.

“Kima?”

“Shh. Go back to sleep, love.”

“Where are you going?”

“Can’t sleep. Need to go hit something.”

It wasn’t exactly a lie… not really. Allie didn’t need to know that the thing she was going to hit was a purple anti-magic bastard on another continent. She hoped there was enough truth and Allura was asleep enough that her wife wouldn’t realize there was anything else behind those words. At least not until Kima was far enough away.

Allura mumbled incoherently and burrowed back in to her blankets. Kima padded toward the doorway, grabbing her boots on the way and feeling very grateful she kept her armor in another room. She paused in Allura’s study, thinking she might leave a note, but when nothing seemed worth the parchment it would take to write, she just closed the door behind her. The apologies would have to come later.

When the armored halfling crept into the gray predawn, she didn’t exactly know where she was going or how she was goint to get there, but damn it, Vox Machina owed her a favor and it was time to cash in.

One very sleepy and confused conversation with one Shaun Gilmore, one equally confused conversation with Keyleth, several probably true threats, and multiple high level spells later, Kima found herself on the the streets of Nicodranas. Knowing only where her sword had been that morning, she found herself climbing the steps of the so called Lavish Chateau, and hoping for the best.

After several arguments with the staff, first to be allowed in the building, second to answer questions about other guests, and a particularly loud one about a blue tiefling, a goth aasimar, and a halfling with a crossbow,a fairly irate Kima stood stewing in the lobby while the manager ran upstairs. She heard a gaggle of footsteps and looked up to see most of the Mighty Nein staring at her. The halfling woman wasn’t among them, but from what she could see, the rest of the group was clustered above her on the stairs.

“What are you doing here?” The wizard was clearly defensive and she could see he held his hands at the ready the way Allura did, casual at a glance but ready to dart in to a pocket or a pouch for components at a breath.

Kima rolled her eyes. “I’m here to help if you‘ll have me and if I’m not wrong, you need me.”

The group exchanged dubious glances and Kima could feel her temper flare dangerously close to the surface.

“Didn’t Allura ask you not to?” queried the blue one.

“Yeah. And I’m going to be begging forgiveness for the rest of my life but at least there will be a future to do that in. Now do you want my help or not?”

Kima nearly threw her hands up in frustration as they broke in to a whispered argument but she did her best to hold her position. They didn’t know her any more than she knew them. Of course they weren’t going to just say yes. She let her thoughts stray briefly to the wife she had left behind. Wondering if Allura had tried to follow her. She could already picture the hurt and anger that would be waiting for her and she couldn’t bear even that. She pushed the thoughts away, trying her very best to focus on the colorful, chaotic crew in front of her and not on the burning at the back of her throat. Finally, the half-orc spoke from his place at the back of the group.

“We could use all the help we can get. If you’re sure.”

“Great. Now give me back my damn sword and let’s go get this bastard.”

[yet-another-fan-girl9]

Heart Of Stone

Summary: You were taught to show no emotions. Emotions were your weakness.

Warnings: language, some angst, blood, self-inflicted pain, death, abusive parents (maybe more)

Word Count: ~5000

A/N: This is one of my submissions for @the--sad--hatter​ ‘s Birthday Tea Party! Happy Birthday Kara ❤️! Also I’m posting this at 3 am 🤭

Bucky Fic Here

You felt the tickle of the forced tear as it rolled down your cheek. Your target seemed to buy it. Of course, he did. Shaun Bartlett was a friend of your asshole of a mother. He may have been rich, but he had nothing going on upstairs. Nothing good, anyway. He was one of the men who sponsored your mother’s ‘experiments,’ unbeknownst to the Avengers. They suspected the large amounts of money disappearing from his accounts were being funneled to Hydra.

When you sniffed, the grey-haired man put his arm around your waist and pulled you out of the busy gala room. Natasha’s red hair caught your eye before you entered the hallway where, surprise, Steve came out of the bathroom. He made eye contact with you and sent you a small nod. You faked a stumble in your heels and then let out another sob.

“Oh, I just can’t do a-anything,” you cried and hid your face in your hands.

“Shh. There, there.” Bartlett rubbed your arm in what you thought was supposed to be comforting. Instead, it made you want to stab him even more than you already did. “I’m sure you’re good for something.” How ominous, perverted, and condescending.

“We saw you leaving,” Sam’s voice came out of the comm in your ear. “Give us the signal when you’re alone.”

Bartlett led you to his large, ornate office. You did a quick survey of the room before discreetly tapping your comm for your team. Now all you had to do was put a bullet or blade in Bartlett.

“Get yourself comfortable, darlin’.” He shrugged off his suit jacket.

If he thought anything of your sudden lack of tears, he didn’t show it. Honestly, you didn’t think he thought at all. You smiled at him and coyly teased the edge of the slit in your dress. When you finally pulled it away, it revealed a holster carrying a Glock 42 and a simple throwing knife.

Sam, Nat, and Steve burst through the doors at that moment. Your smile quickly disappeared and as Bartlett realized what was happening, your blade found itself embedded between his eyes. His body fell to the ground and the three Avengers in the doorway gaped at you with varying looks of shock and disappointment.

“What the fuck?” Sam broke the silence.

“We were going to question him.” Steve glared at you and Bartlett’s body. “We don’t fucking kill them.”

“And that’s the problem.” Your face remained in its usual stoic expression, but you knew you fucked up when Captain America swore at you. “These types of people—”

“You’re right,” Natasha cut in with a gentle tone. “There are some bad people in the world and maybe they deserve to die, but it’s not your job to decide.”

“Don’t talk to me like I’m a fucking child. I’m—���

“Can we do this somewhere else?” Sam interrupted this time.

You glared at him but Steve and Nat agreed. You don’t know what happens to dead bodies on missions, but maybe it’s because there usually weren’t any. The entire way back to the compound, someone’s eyes were on you.

Tony was waiting for you when you landed. He raised his eyebrows when he noticed that the four of you were empty handed.

“Aren’t you supposed to have some guy with you?” he asked and studied everyone’s expressions. “What happened?”

“Ask her.” Steve nodded at you before stomping away. “F.R.I.D.A.Y, call everyone to the briefing room. Now.”

You rolled your eyes slightly and Tony looked at you quizzically

“He’s being dramatic,” was all you said.

“Not as dramatic as you’d think, though,” Nat added before following Steve.

“You do know you fucked up, right?” Sam glared at you.

Apparently, everyone had time to let their anger stew on the flight home. You just rolled your eyes again.

“Emotion,” Tony said. He had gotten into a habit of pointing out whenever you made a facial expression. “So what happened?” It was your turn to walk off.

Somehow, you made it to the briefing room without going insane due to Tony’s incessant questioning. Couldn’t he wait one fucking minute? Surely Steve was going to talk all about it during the meeting.

It was quiet when you walked in. Everyone was already situated around the table. You noticed that Loki was here. Loki sightings around the compound were rare, but based on his disgruntled expression that contrasted Thor’s large grin, he didn’t come by choice.

The few times you had seen the raven-haired god, you could have sworn his bright eyes were following you. Like right now, as you took your seat, he was watching you. In a challenge, you narrowed your eyes the slightest bit and saw a small smirk grace Loki’s perfectly sculpted face. Wait, what?

Tony leaned over and muttered, “Emotion.” You resisted the urge to roll your eyes lest he do it again. 

“You may be wondering why you’re all here,” Steve began. “You may also have noticed that Shaun Bartlett is not with us.” Damn, he was really mad mad about this. “Someone decided to kill him, leaving us without any leads on Hydra. Yet again.”

“I don’t think—” you began before Steve jumped in.

“Yes, you didn’t think. There was no reason to kill him.”

“Yes there was,” you growled.

“Care to share with the rest of us?” Sam crossed his arms.

“We’ve all taken lives before. It’s not that big of a deal.”

“You took a life. Of someone who could have had information on Hydra, I might add,” Steve said. “You can leave now. You’re benched for the following three weeks.”

You were about to protest before you realized that the rest of the team was just watching you and Steve go back and forth like a tennis match. You pushed back your seat, which didn’t make as big a screeching sound as you had hoped, and left the room.

Control. 

You were a personal person and Bartlett was a personal problem that you were not going to share with the team.

[Week 1, Day 1]

They were leaving. They were all leaving to bust some shit Hydra base. The only ones that were going to be in the compound were you and Loki.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y. will be keeping an eye on you,” Tony told you. 

“Stay out of trouble.” Steve gave you a hard look.

“Why are looking at me when you say that?” You asked and raised your eyebrow a millimeter. “You do know Loki is standing right next to me. Loki. The fucker who invaded New York.”

“Stay out of trouble.”

You couldn’t believe it. They thought you were going to cause more trouble than Loki? At least Tony gave you an empathetic look before he left, but it was probably for your poor company. Loki turned to you with a mischievous hint glint in his eyes. You rolled your own before marching away. 

Don’t let your emotions show, your mother’s voice shot through your head. Emotions are your weakness. Learn to turn them off.

Face muscles relaxed, but hard, calculating eyes. You’ve been slipping up in the year you’ve spent with the Avengers. There was nobody here to beat the emotion out of you. 

Except you.

So you found yourself in the gym, improper workout clothes, in front of a punching bag. You looked momentarily at the two acorn-sized pieces of jagged amethyst you always carried. You remembered summoning them on accident when you were five. Your father had promised to carve them into those mini sculptures you’d loved, but that was before your mother betrayed him. Before your mother betrayed you.

It’s because of you she does those… things, this time, it was your father.

Pushing the thoughts of your father out of your head, you placed each amethyst into each unwrapped hand. Each punch you threw at the bag sent sharp pains up your arms as the hard crystals cut into you already scarred palms.

Pain is temporary. Don’t let it stop you.

Yes, mother.

It’s your fault she hurts people.

Okay, father.

If you can’t control your emotions, you can’t control anything.

Her inspiration.

If you can’t get yourself under control, it’ll be your fault they died.

Her muse.

“I’m pretty sure you’re doing that wrong.”

You didn’t jump at the sudden voice, but you noticed a small quartz you had summoned sticking out of the punching bag. Control.

“Don’t sneak up on me,” you replied and looked at him. You weren’t easily spooked, if you could call it that, but somehow the infamous God of Mischief had avoided your senses. You’ll let it slide this time because he was a god. This time.

“I wasn’t trying to.” Loki leaned against a wall and watched you examine your split knuckles. “I’m not an expert but I think you should have protected your hands.”

“Yeah, no shit.” You clenched your fists tighter and noticed small trickles of blood escape from your palms.

“You’re bleeding.” 

“No shit,” you said again.

You opened your hands and revealed the bloodied amethysts. Then you pulled the quartz out of the bag, sand pouring from the rip, and stomped past Loki and out of the gym. Thankfully he didn’t follow you.

[Week 1, Day 6]

You haven't seen Loki in the past five days. The only sign of someone else in the large compound was the food missing from the cupboards.

“How are your hands?”

Fuck. You had to restrain yourself from throwing the TV remote at the god’s head and instead, sapphires appeared to bedazzle it.

“Fine,” you held up your scabbed knuckles and scarred palms. “It’s been a while since I’ve seen you out of your snake burrow.”

“What are you watching?”

“A movie.” He looked at you for more details so you obliged. “It’s a home invasion movie, but the protagonist is deaf. Do you want to join? I’m not that far in.”

You didn’t know why you had invited him to join, but you were happy when he shrugged and sat at the other end of the couch. Every minute you found yourself glancing over at Loki. He was always wearing green, gold, and black Asgardian clothes. In comparison, you were wearing a sweatshirt and leggings.

“I do believe you’re watching me more than the movie,” he said. Shit, were you really that obvious?

“I’ve seen it before. I like watching people’s reaction to something I know is coming,” you explained. That was true, but it wasn’t the only reason.

“You enjoy observing others.” He wasn’t watching the movie anymore either.

“Are you observing me observing you?” You quirked your eyebrow.

“Perhaps.” Loki smirked.

“Tell me,” you moved so that your body faced him and you were able to rest your head on your arm propped on the back of the sofa. “What do you see?”

“A lot.” He mimicked your position so you mimicked his smirk. “I can see the difference between what you want me to see and what is involuntary. I can see that you see more, think more, and know more than you let on.”

“Then we have that in common.”

You realized how quickly you had gotten comfortable with Loki and honestly, it scared you. You were never comfortable with people. You were never supposed to be comfortable, your parents made sure of that.

“I’m going to bed.” You stood up abruptly and left the living room before he could react. Keep your emotions in check.

Loki didn’t follow you.

[Week 2, Day 2]

You scraped your fork across the bottom of your plate to get the last bits of your dinner. Your white bed sheets were still, thankfully, without any stains. Yes, you had been eating in your room for the past couple of days to avoid Loki. It seemed as if you had become the hermit in this situation.

You placed the empty dish by the door, promising to bring it to the kitchen tomorrow, and stretched your sore muscles from the quick excursion to the gym. The next thing on your nightly routine was relaxation, and you sure utilized the time. With your comfortable sleep clothes on and your favorite show playing, you sunk into your welcoming bed.

“—under arrest for kidnapping, murder, and illegal experimentation.”

“NO!” Your mother’s arms pulled you back. “DON’T TAKE HIM! HE DIDN’T DO ANY OF IT! IT WASN’T HIM!”

“I’m sorry agents,” your mother sniffed as convincing tears rolled down her cheeks. “All of the evidence points to him. I can’t believe I didn’t see it.”

“DAD! DON’T LEAVE, DAD!”

“Be quiet. That’s enough of that. Enough!” Sharp nails cut into your shoulder. “Enough with the fucking stalling. Shoot him.”

The familiar gun suddenly felt heavy in your hands as you stared at the gagged man tied to the chair. Your mother said he was an evil man. You raised the gun. The man whimpered against the cloth in his mouth.

“It’s about time you took a life, you’re already eleven.”

He shook his head and pleaded with his eyes.

“Do you see that?” A stray tear cut a path through the blood and grime covering his face. “Emotion. He is fucking weak and the weak ones always die.”

You squeezed the trigger and the man slumped forward.

“Good girl.” Her mouth twisted into a smile. “Good girl. Focus on the items.”

Your eyes were shut tight and your face was damp with sweat. You could feel the gems, crystals, and precious metals surrounding you. The hexagonal quartz and the amethyst that was shaped into a cube. A gold nugget and an emerald ring.

“Do the quartz first.”

You felt the dimensions. The depth. The small scratches on the smooth faces. When you opened your eyes you saw the original crystal and the duplicate you had summoned.

Your mother gave you a few courtesy claps before gesturing towards the nugget. You had the same success you had with the quartz. It wasn’t until you reached the man-made or modified objects when you had problems.

“Pathetic,” your mother spat and you felt her rings cut into your cheek. “Weak.” You heard the sound of a gun cocking. “Try again.”

“I—” you quickly wiped away a tear but your mother noticed.

“No fucking emotion. Emotion is weakness.”

The sound of the gun going off echoed through the room and you felt the bullet tear through your thigh.

You clenched your jaw to trap the groan trying to escape. The echo of the pain slowly faded but the memories lingered. The TV was still on and Netflix's ‘are you still watching?’ screen was up. You hadn’t meant to fall asleep. The glowing red numbers of the clock on your bedside table read 1:47.

It was time for a post-midnight snack so you made your way to the kitchen. With a cup of tea and some cereal, you sat in the darkness just… existing, trying not to think of your dream. How many episodes had you missed? Aw, shit. You could’ve brought your dirty plate down. Now you had to do it later. You groaned.

“Is everything okay?”

“Jesus fucking shit, Loki!” You actually threw your spoon at him this time but fortunately he ducked. “I thought I told you don’t sneak up on me.”

“You just make it too easy,” he responded with a smirk.

“Shut up.” You watched him as he moved to sit across from you.

“What are you doing in here?”

“What are you doing in here?”

“I asked you first,” he responded and you rolled your eyes. 

“Couldn’t sleep. I’m sure you can relate.” Loki hummed in agreement. “Your turn.”

“Same reason. Dreams of the past. You never answered my question, by the way. Is everything okay?”

“Yes.” You took a sip of your steaming tea.

“I thought we already established that I can read you. You can talk to me if you want. But,” he continued before you could shoot him down. “At least tell me why you’ve been avoiding me.”

“I didn’t want to get comfortable,” you said slowly. “It goes against everything I’ve been taught.”

“I pushed away a lot of people throughout my life. I always believed that I was unworthy. My father always told me I was unworthy.”

“It was my mother for me. She taught me most of everything I know.”

“My mother did the same, but with a lighter tone. It seemed as if only she, and occasionally my brother, cared for me.”

“At least you had a brother. My father was kind until my mother got greedy. Until she fucking betrayed us. She blamed everything on him.” You fell silent when you realized that Loki now knew more about you than anyone else.

“Thank you,” he said and he took your hand in his. “I know it’s hard, talking about your past, so thank you for talking to me.”

“You’re welcome, I guess.” You smiled.

“I think this is the first time I’ve seen you smile. It’s beautiful. You’re beautiful.”

Your smile grew and for once you didn’t try to hide the emotions that were painted across your face. The smile stayed with you until you fell into a deep, peaceful sleep.

[Week 2, Day 4]

Everyone was coming home tomorrow. You cared about the Avengers, they were your friends, but you couldn’t help but mourn the loss of peace and quiet. You liked being alone, though you have been enjoying time spent with Loki.

“Have you chosen a movie yet?” You sat in your new spot, next to the god, and offered him some of your popcorn. Your shoulders brushed against each other’s and the slight touch sent shivers down your spine.

“There are so many choices, but yes.” He took a handful of popcorn.

“Jurassic Park,” you read the title. “A classic. Who knew Loki the Trickster God liked dinosaurs?”

“Well, I don’t know if I like them yet. I haven’t seen the movie.”

“Oh, hush.”

You resumed your new favorite activity of watching Loki. You couldn’t help yourself. You analyzed his eyes, which you noticed changed between blue, green, and hazel in different lightings. You liked his sharp jawline and cheekbones. Your eyes followed the slope of his nose down to his lips. They were pink and they looked soft and all you wanted to do was—

“You’re staring again,” Loki said while Denis Nerdy unsuccessfully tried to flee.

“Well, I just like—”

“Watching reactions. I know,” he gave you his signature smirk. “As much as I enjoy you and your staring, this movie is getting exciting.”

“It was already exciting but you—”

He cut you off again but this time he did it by pressing his lips to yours. It was short, probably only two seconds, but your mind was blissfully blank. He brought his finger to his lips, winked, and then returned to the movie. Loki, you had learned, was the only person able to leave you speechless.

[Week 3, Day 6]

The sound of exaggerated gagging forced you and Loki apart. Your eyes landed on Sam, the source of the gagging. In the past week since they’ve been back, the rest of the Avengers still couldn’t believe the change that had come upon you.

“Can’t you do that somewhere else?” Sam made a face. When the group had finally gotten over the shock and suspicions that one of you had an ulterior motive, they let you and Loki grow closer together. “But honestly, I’m glad to see you happy. Though it’s still strange seeing you with real emotions.”

You rolled your eyes and turned to face Sam. Loki stood behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist and Sam faked a gag again.

“Oh, grow the fuck up,” you said and smiled when you felt Loki rest his head on your shoulder. “What do you want?”

“Briefing room. Everyone’s invited.” Sam’s gaze moved to Loki. “But I don’t want to see any of your weird, out of character, lovey dovey bullshit.”

You sat in the briefing room, waiting for the rest of the team to arrive. Loki held your hand and you put your head on his shoulder. You noticed Nat and Wanda’s smirks and Thor’s beaming smile. Tony narrowed his eyes for a second before giving you a grin and a nod. He, like many others, were wary of Loki but were happy for you. At least he had given up with that ‘Emotion’ shit.

“We tracked where Bartlett’s money was going,” Steve said as he walked in. Your blood ran cold and you sat up. “We had a bit of trouble tracking it after someone killed him,” maybe he was still a little salty, “but we’re getting everyone on this.”

“That means your benching is ending one day early,” Tony said to you. “We’re attacking a large base tomorrow.”

“Is it Hydra?” Wanda asked.

“We actually don’t know,” Steve answered. “But we need to prepare for anything.”

As you were walking out, Steve called your name. You nodded at Loki to go on ahead before going up to the blond.

“You don’t have to tell me the reason you killed Bartlett, but can I have your word that you won’t kill anyone.”

You thought for a moment. Chances were that you were going to see your mother again. Would you be able to control yourself?

“I’m sorry, but I can’t make promises I can’t keep.”

Nobody spoke on the flight to the mission, but the jet was anything but quiet as wind and rain pelted the sides. Your fingers were entwined with Loki’s. The jet landed harshly and when you stepped out, you were instantly drenched. Loki pulled you towards the building, following the glowing lights of Tony’s suit.

Everyone piled into the empty lobby, dripping puddles onto the tiled floor. Loki put his hand on your shoulder and warmth spread through your body as he used his magic to dry you. Sam’s longing stare at your dried uniform almost made you chuckle. Almost. The threat of your mother still hung heavy over your head.

You split up in two teams. Tony, Wanda, Thor, and Sam went left while you, Loki, Nat, and Steve went right. Your team crept down a hall with only a few incursions. You were drawn to a room that was emitting a glowing, blue light.

“What the fuck?” Nat gasped when she took in the room’s contents.

Rows upon rows of tanks filled with glowing liquid and people. This had to be your mother’s doing. Her experiments. A small white square at eye level was on each tank. When you got closer, you realized they were nametags of sorts.

“M. Cowell,” you read the one nearest to you. “Energy manipulation.”

“V. Hargreeves,” Loki read another. “Sound manipulation.”

“These people are all enhanced.”

Steve called your name from deeper in the room. “I think you’ll want to see this.” You found him next to an empty tank. “It’s your name.” He pointed to the tag.

A chill shot through your body as you read your initial and last name. Printed by your name were the words ‘Crystal manipulation.’

“Let’s get out of here,” you whispered and sped your way out to the hallway.

“Are you alright?” Loki asked when he joined you in the hall.

“No.”

The hallway opened up into a tall room, a balcony circled the perimeter above you. Across from you, the other team emerged from their side. Before anyone could say anything, the clicking of heels drew everyone’s attention upwards. Your mother came into view. She was flanked by four armed guards who pointed their rifles down at you.

“Who the fuck are you?” Tony asked.

“I’m hurt that my daughter hasn’t told you about me.” She dramatically placed a hand on her chest.

“Daughter?” the other team echoed but your team looked at you.

“Are you Hydra?” Steve stepped in.

“Oh, heavens no. My organization has nothing to do with Hydra. I’m surprised at how long it took you to track down the Red Sapphire.”

“You’re an organization?” you asked. “You’re not working alone?”

“You can stop playing dumb now, my dear.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“You killed Bartlett so the weak little fucker couldn’t blab to the Avengers. But I thought I taught you to clean up crime scenes better. Your prints were everywhere.”

“Is that why you killed him?” Steve turned to you.

“No.” You glared at your mother. “You are not going to get rid of me the same way you got rid of dad.” You felt around with your powers. She was wearing a gold necklace.

“Don’t show emotion. Emotion is weak—”

“Shut up!”

You forced the gold chain around her neck to tighten until your mother was grasping at her neck. You blocked out the voices of the Avengers telling you to stop. The four guards readied their guns so, without releasing your mother, you sent up sharp ammonium phosphate crystals and impaled the four. Your mother’s face was changing colors. The necklace tightened around her neck until it cut her skin. Until she collapsed.

“What did you do?” someone asked before you passed out from the exertion.

You woke up on the floor of the jet.

“Perfect timing,” Tony said. “We just landed.”

The jet’s ramp lowered and everyone walked out without looking at you. You stayed on the ground for a moment, rethinking your actions, regretting nothing, before you picked yourself up and walked out.

“Loki,” you sighed with relief. The god was standing at the bottom of the ramp. When he didn’t return your smile you hesitated. “What’s wrong?”

“You killed your own mother,” he stated and crossed his arms.

“Yeah? She was a wicked, vile bitch.”

“You shouldn’t have done it.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” If anyone was going to be on your side, it would have been Loki. “You should understand. Your father was horrible too.”

“I wouldn’t have killed him. He lied to me my entire life. He hated me, belittled me, ignored me and so much more but I wouldn’t have fucking killed him.”

“You don’t know all the things my mother has done.” You felt tears begin to build up. “Try to think of what you would do if your mother killed hundreds, thousands, of people. She hurt others, hurt me. She made me do terrible things.”

“Not as terrible as what you did back there.”

You took a shaky breath and couldn’t prevent the tears from spilling.

“People always said I was the cruel one but all this time, it was you. You only think of yourself. You only care about you. You’re the one with the fucking heart of stone.” You didn’t bother to wipe the tears off of your face as you stormed away. He didn’t follow you.

Loki, you had learned, was the only person able to make you cry.

In the following week, everyone avoided you. That was fine. You didn’t want to fucking see anyone. You had reverted to your pre-Loki persona. No emotions. Turns out your mother was right for once. Emotion is weakness.

Your days were spent alone in your room. Plans to track down and dismantle the Red Sapphire spread over every surface. You spent your nights in the gym. Crystals clenched in your unwrapped hands as you pummeled the punching bags. Don’t show pain.

“I’m leaving,” you announced to the almost empty kitchen. Steve and Tony looked at you, their first acknowledgement of you in a week. “I’m taking one of your cars. Don’t try to stop me.”

“We can’t let you leave. You’re a danger,” Steve said the same time Tony said,

“At least tell me what your mother did.”

You looked at Tony, ignoring Steve’s comment. You took a deep breath and told your story, to the surprise of both men. You told them about the discovery of your powers. You told them about your mother’s greed in wanting more. More from you. More powered individuals to serve her. You told them how you walked past dead bodies every day. You told them how your mother hurt you when you broke your stone facade. When you trained. When you failed. You told them how your father blamed you for your mother’s actions. How he wasted away drowning in alcohol. You told them about your mother framing your father.

“I’m going to destroy the organization she worked with.”

“There’s no way to prevent you from killing them,” Steve sighed.

“No, there’s not.”

“How about you don’t die, huh?” Tony asked.

“Yeah, that’s a pretty big priority,” you said and Tony pulled you into a hug. You closed your eyes and savored the moment until you forced yourself to pull away. “Goodbye.”

You retrieved your duffle bag and backpack from your room. The whole elevator ride down to the garage, you fiddled with the car keys. One day you would regret not saying goodbye. You stepped out of the elevator but you were quickly stopped in your tracks by Loki standing in front of the car you were taking.

“I heard you were leaving.”

“Yeah.” You refused to look at the god and loaded your bags into the car.

“I’m sorry. Please, I’m so sorry. You don’t have to forgive me—”

“You’re right, I don’t.” Damn, he was blocking the driver’s door.

“I’m sorry that I couldn’t understand you. I’m sorry I didn’t let you explain. Just let me do one thing. Let me come with you. Please, I want to help you.”

“You’re in my fucking way.”

“Look at me, please.” You obliged. “I want to come with you. I will follow you anywhere.”

“Why?”

“Because,” he cautiously placed a hand on your cheek and you unconsciously leaned into his touch. “Because I love you.”

Fuck, your eyes were misting again. “I-I might go to some dark places.”

“I will follow you anywhere,” he repeated.

“Okay,” you whispered. “You can come.” Loki’s beautiful eyes lit up and went to go to the passenger side. “Wait, Loki.”

You walked over to him and kissed him. You kissed him like you were never going to kiss him again. You kissed him like you hadn’t kissed him in a week, because you hadn’t. You kissed him with everything you had.

“I love you too.”

A/N: I had to put that small Umbrella Academy reference in there, I just binged season 2.

[wastelandlovingscenarios]

Always great to see a new react blog, good luck!👍🏽 How about some basic fluff, yes? What do the guys(+Codsworth, Preston, Maxson) think of starting a family with f!Sole when presented with the idea of fatherhood?

some of these reacts are lengthy and some are short (basing it off on their characters) but i hope you enjoy nonetheless. ❤️

-

Danse:

danse would be unsure at first. not over the fact that it’s with sole, actually, he was more than sure he wanted to do it with nobody else but her. he wasn’t confident enough to raise a child, thinking he was too boring or awkward for one. in all reality, danse felt as if he was unprepared for the responsibility of bringing a living, human being into the commonwealth. for a while, he’d push away the idea of having a child and try his best to stray away from it. though, when he starts going on more missions and adventures, he gives a little more attention to baby items that are scattered across the commonwealth (going as far as collecting them for some unknown reason to him) and thoughts of him and soles nonexistent baby start to appear in his head. how would they look like? would the baby look more like him or sole? he would feel himself slowly wanting a child and the notion of him raising one would bring a smile to his face. upon realizing his thoughts, danse would approach sole and admit shyly that he is open to the idea of having a kid. he was more than sure he wanted this when sole smiled brightly.

Deacon:

his feelings towards it would fluctuate. he would be ecstatic to raise a child but would also be facing the fear of possibly losing them. he would possibly avoid the topic by laughing it off or telling a joke, hoping sole would get the idea. of course, she did and decided to let it slip, not wanting to force him into something he was uncomfortable with. it would take him a while to realize that, and it would be in the most direct way possible. he’d be on a mission collecting intel on a man who had been venting to some bystander in vadims bar, mentioning that he had lost his wife just recently. it made deacon feel sympathetic for him, but the next part he had said shook him to his core. “i lost her before we could start a family.” him and barbara tried to start a family before she got killed, and now that he was given another chance, he was so hesitant and afraid. Yet, this was all deacon wanted in the first place, to spend his life with her and start a family. without a second thought, he dropped the newspaper he was holding and dashed back to HQ. he caught sole standing in the middle of the church, concentrated on the screen of her pip-boy. “sole!” deacon ran and scooped her into his arms, twirling her around in circles. he slowly put her down as sole let her hand rest on his cheek, small giggles escaping her lips, “what has gotten into you today?” shooting her the biggest grin he can form, he blurted out the next sentence excitedly, “how do you think des would react if i said we were adding a new addition to our already crazy family?”

Hancock:

he would be open to the idea, but would need more time to think upon seriously committing to it. it wasn’t that he was afraid to have one or was hesitant to start a family with sole, he was just really insecure of himself. hancock knew he wasn’t the cleanest person in terms of drugs and crime. also, he was a ghoul, so he was a little afraid the baby might be affected by that. once he starts heading out on missions, he notices how sweet sole becomes around children and how she looked so natural doing it. and just seeing children play around with her, laughing and pushing each other around playfully really softened his heart. the thought of him, sole and his kid messing around with each other kind of sparked a new feeling within hancock. maybe, just maybe, it wouldn’t be so bad after all. besides, what’s the worse that could happen? after a little while, he pushes away the negative thoughts and does completely open up to the idea, offering to clean up his act a little bit more so he’s more focused on the journey of having a baby with sole. he definitely wouldn’t want to miss a moment of it.

Maccready:

probably the most open to having a child, considering that he is a father himself. he loved raising duncan and seeing his milestones, so he’d be more than happy to have another kid with the love of his life. the only real issue he’d have with having a new addition is the fear of them contracting a disease, like duncan, or them getting injured, but despite it all, he’s more than willing to do it. once sole brought up the topic of having a child, he’d be overly excited and teary eyed, realizing that this was a huge step in their relationship. “really?!” he’d be bouncing excitedly on his feet as sole nodded, a smile radiating off of her face. maccready would hug her tightly, already excited to tell duncan he was having a sibling. sole would notice that maccready would already be coming up with multiple names even before she got pregnant with their baby, (she didn’t mind it all). though maccready claimed that he didn’t care about the gender of the baby, he’d secretly want a baby girl to raise with the rest of his family.

Nick:

he’d be surprised that sole even bothered to ask him to start a family. “well, who would’ve thought you’d ask someone like me?”, he joked, a small chuckle escaping his mouth. nick is more than likely open to the idea of having a child. he believes he’s mature and responsible enough to raise one properly and take care of their needs and wants. whether they choose to adopt or find another way to get sole pregnant, he’d be more than happy to have experienced another big milestone that he’d never thought he’d see in his life. man, when nick thought sole couldn’t give him anything more, she always ends up surprising him. though he may have to juggle his work and family life, he’d be more than willing to choose his family above everything. he would go out of his way to protect sole and his child.

Synth!Codsworth:

excited! excited! excited!!! he’d be squealing with utter joy as sole dropped the question of fatherhood. codsworth was completely crushed when he realized that he never got the opportunity to raise shaun and care for him, so the news nearly blew the fuse in him. “this is superb, mum/sole!”, he’d hug her tightly as tears welled in his eyes, “you have given me so much more than i have ever wished for!” he’d be the second most prepared, already having data on how to cook, care for a baby and all that other fancy prewar stuff that people nowadays barely knew. oh man, the minute codsworth got the news, he began tidying up a room for the baby and decorating it with bright colors and baby items he found on missions with sole. he’d baby proof everything, and i mean everything, in sanctuary just to ensure that their child was safe from any danger. everyone could literally feel the excitement emitting off of codsworth..

Preston:

preston is always excited when he hears about a new extension to the minutemen but when sole brings up the topic of fatherhood, he is far beyond thrilled. he had never really thought about it but the idea of being a father and raising his own child softened him up inside. he would be happy, realizing that now the commonwealth was a much safer place thanks to sole. he was more than ready to settle down and take it step by step. “that sounds great, general!” he beamed, placing his hands on her waist. he bent down and gave her a soft kiss, wanting to treasure this moment forever. sole doesn’t know how or when, but on a particular night, he brought home a hat identical to his, but a lot smaller. “what do you think?” he would say with a childlike grin. sole would let out a laugh as she placed the hat near the homemade crib preston had made, “its perfect.” he would spread the news to the minutemen proudly and would go out of his way to protect sole and his child from harms way.

Maxson:

as sole brought up the topic of fatherhood, it did pique maxsons interest at first. but then he would realize that he’s too busy to have a child and right now out of all times wouldn’t be the best, especially with the brotherhood in his hands. he would just believe that he has too much responsibility to even focus on raising a child, and would be upfront with sole to avoid getting her hopes up. he would also think he’s too young to even attempt to create a new life. though he had denied sole at that moment, the thought of starting a family never really left his head. somehow and somewhere in the future, maxson would be open to it once things settled down a bit more.

[ shoutout to anon for correcting my mistake about john hancock! ]

[beanzykin]

Evan Morgan Reznick

A Breznick fanfiction

Summary: Breznick soulmate AU

"Have any of your soulmate initials switched?" Claire asked, filling the silence in the locker room with a question she's been wanting to ask forever. "Mm… no. They've been L.D ever since I was twelve," Shaun carefully placed his toy scalpel in his bag while Morgan opened her locker. "Nope," Alex turned around, "M.W, always. Why has yours recently changed?" 

"Yeah- well… not recently, more like when I was fourteen. But, one of the letters is still crossed out," She placed a hand on her right thigh where her soulmate's initials are. "I've never really told anyone, but I haven't seen anyone else's initials crossed out…" She trailed off, allowing the other three doctor's fill in the blanks that it was something she didn't talk much about. "That's weird," Alex gave Morgan a look only for her to ignore it by taking a sip from the day-old water in her bottle.

Claire scoffed, "They used to be C-E.R, but now the 'E' is crossed out and replaced with an 'M'-" Before Claire got a chance to continue, Morgan spit out her water and fell into a fit of non-stop coughing which caught everyone's attention.

Cristina-Morgan, Reznick. 

Caroline thought it'd be a good idea to give her child a longer name, that way her art signature would be more unique… Now looking back at it, it was a stupid desicion consitering Morgan hates art.

Despite choking on water -and the initial shock of the situation- Morgan managed to choke out some sorta sentence reassuring her sudden outburst.

"Those are my initials-" Alex froze on his way to help the blonde that was practically suffocating. 

A few more seconds of Morgan choking to death, Claire broke the thick tension that filled the previously dead silent room.

"What…?" Morgan took another sip after (and to help) her body calmed down. “Wait… you don’t have mine… right?” Claire felt her heart speed up when whipped her mouth and nodded her head.

"Alright, me and Shaun will see you two tomorrow…" Alex tapped Shaun's bag to catch his attention, leaving the two women to sort out their predicament. He didn't want to make the situation worse or more awkward, not that he was sure they were soulmates, or what the crossed out 'E' meant; but he didn't want to make either of them uncomfortable.

"Are you-… you're sure about this?" Claire asked as Shaun and Alex left the room. Morgan felt her eyes burn at the contact with Claire's "Well, I suspected it once I had your initials, but you're straight and never said anything…"

"Well I never said anything because your name starts with a 'C' and has an 'E' in the middle of it!" Claire's confusion brought her to her next question.

"Why is there an 'E'?" Morgan looked down at her shoe, avoiding the question and filing with her water bottle. "The 'E' is crossed out, what does it stand for?" She asked again, getting impatient with the situation. "It doesn't matter-" Claire interrupted her. "Well it kinda does, how do I know if you're actually my soulmate?!" 

Morgan looked back up, "I have C.B on my collar bone and you have my initials on your leg, right? Why does it matter?" 

"Cause I don't know if you're lying about being my soulmate or not!" Claire bitterly laughed at the end, clearly getting more pressed by the second. "So what if I'm not? What's so disappointing about that?! I'm lying, I'm not your soulmate. Just go find him!"  

The smaller doctor sighed, "We'll what if you are?! And you're actually lying to me! You obviously know why there was or still is an 'E', just tell me already!"

"Because I'm trans!" Morgan confessed, albeit a bit louder than she should. “See, that's all you had to do? Was that so Goddamn hard!?" Her tone was now mirroring Morgan's.

"YES! Yes, it was! And you don't fucking understand that!" She put her back to the locker and slid down shakily, her head making its way to her hands.

"Are you crying, is that how shitty of a soulmate I am?" For a split second, Morgan wanted to say yes -Even if she didn’t exactly mean it-, but her body felt like it was choking on that gross luke-warm water again and she couldn’t breathe.

It took Claire to realize that not everyone is as accepting of who their soulmate might be. She could only imagine that Morgan thought her soulmate would be immensely disappointed. Especially now -that Morgan has learnt she is her soulmate- since Morgan's only ever heard about Claire's past boyfriends, and on top of that, she's trans.

Her mind went back to what Morgan was previously hinting at:

'I'm not your soulmate, just go find him!'

'But you're straight…'

"Morgan, you are a wonderful woman," Claire slowly sat down next to her, "And you've only ever heard me talk about my soulmate being a man… right?" Morgan's hair and hands hid her face, but Claire could tell she nodded. "I've had girlfriends before, and I don't care if you're trans or not."

Claire hesitantly moved a little closer. "It's not that- well, kinda… I know you wouldn't care if I was transgender or not, but I didn't know you liked women. It's just that I have my deadname on your leg," Morgan sniffed and rubbed her eyes before looking at Claire and continuing, "My name's Morgan, and it should've been like that from the start… no? Like, does this mean I'll never actually pass with whatever universe-god-thing that created soulmates,"

It pained Claire's heart to hear her voice get shakier with each word. Locking eyes with Morgan's pink, tear-filled ones, she lightly put her hand on Morgan's cheek. 

This time, she felt a different feeling in her heart when Morgan closed her eyes and leaned into the touch, allowing the tears to finally fall.

Morgan softly smiled and grabbed Claire's wrist, bringing it down to her knees and crawling it with her other one. Without breaking eye contact, Claire moved her thumb to delicately caress Morgans.

"I want you to believe me when I say I'm not disappointed, Morgan," The smaller doctor felt Morgan play with her fingers and smiled. "I do… and I want you to too. There has been so many times where I actually hoped you were- will be," she corrected herself briefly, "-my soulmate. When I first met you I genuinely thought that that was it. That I had won the most beautiful woman in the world," 

Now it was Claire's turn to cry. She's never seen this side of Morgan before, has never been told something that sweet and genuine before either. And it was ultimately the best words she's ever heard in her entire life, it's just an added bonus that they're coming from Morgan Reznick.

Without a second thought, Claire pulled Morgan in and did something she never even thought of doing before.

It's just that her mind was screaming 'Kiss her. She's so soft and cute and she's actually one of the sweetest people you've ever met! Her lips look as soft as her hair, if not, even softer!' And that's all it took.

Morgan let out a small squeak of surprise and froze for a moment before kissing back. Claire felt her hand drop and then another smoothing out her jawline and sighed into the kiss.

She couldn't tell if it was Morgan or if it was just the first time kissing her soulmate, but it felt so perfect. 

Once they pulled apart and caught their breath, Morgan was the first one to talk. "You felt that too, right?" Claire couldn't help but smile wider, knowing exactly what she meant. "Yeah," She breathed out in awe. 

The two of them giggled before leaning in for another small peck. Morgan let her hand fall from the side of Claire's face, the way it trailed down her neck gave the small brunette goosebumps.

"Guess we'll have to know each other better bow, huh?" Claire bit her lip to keep her from smiling so much but to avail.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

[quicksiilver]

In My Fathers Eyes

Full Summary & All Parts: Here

Part Three: A Name

Word Count: 4.3k

Chapter Summary: After meeting some of the team, Rachel is taken aside and learns about her true father.  Another turn of events, she also learns she isn't totally alone anymore.

Standing beside Thor in the elevator was the strangest thing.  As we were going down he was telling me all about the Avengers and the history of how they began to move into this building after the first attack on New York City.

“I was young,” I told him, “And then when the second attack happened I was about to lose my mom, but didn’t know it.” He nodded understandingly.

“I lost my mother, too.  I know exactly how it feels,” He gave me a single pat on the back knocking me forward slightly, “I’m so sorry!” He gasped and I laughed.

“It’s alright, strongest Avenger,” I smiled.

“Tell that to Banner,” He shook his head at his own inside joke.

We both left the elevator once we were to the ground floor and I followed Thor around the other side of the building.  He took us out a door in the back and into a small garden with a few tables and chairs.  Thor pulled out a seat for me to sit, pushing me in, and then he sat across from me.

“This is cute,” I said admiring the bushes of roses around us, “I didn’t know superheroes had a thing for gardening.” Thor smirked.

“Once you get to know Bruce you’ll understand why the grounds of this place are so well kept,” He said.

“A scientist with a flair for floweric art?” I smized.  Thor glanced to the bushes, his smile still there.

“What do you know about us?” He asked me, his eyebrows lowering.  Sighing, I zipped my hoodie up and shrugged.  I thought back to Shaun and my friends in the city and how they knew so much more about the Avengers than I did.  While I was busy taking care of my mother and I as a child, they had time to invest in being fans of these superheroes.  Shaun knew the most and would always drag on about them at work.  I cursed myself now for not paying full attention to him.

“Oh man... well I know you’re not from here... Earth, I mean.  Captain- Steve.  Steve was frozen or something, and brought back to life.  Tony is Iron Man and an insufferable only child,” I paused as Thor let out a roar of laughter making me smile, “You have Black Widow, she's a badass, the Hulk and an Ant... man?” He nodded.

“You’re hilarious, I hope you know that,” Thor sat forward leaning his arms against the table between us, “There’s also more of us.  If I tell you more will you try to keep it between us?” He asked and I nodded reluctantly, knowing that he meant I couldn’t tell Shaun or anyone else about the inside information.

“Are you allowed to tell me?” I asked.

“I have to,” He said.

“Why?”

“You’re going to be here a while, I need you to know who everyone is,” He said.  I sat back in my chair and folded my arms across my chest feeling a slight anger shoot through my body.

“Who’s telling me the truth?” I snapped at him, and he just watched me, “Earlier it was just for a little bit, now you’re all saying I’m going to be here for a while.  Who’s telling me the truth?” My voice raised.  Thor’s expression remained the same, but he began to raise an eyebrow.

“I can see him in you,” He whispered.  My anger subsided and was replaced by intrigue, “Whenever you speak passionately he comes out of you.  You have his spark.  You have his sarcasm.  I’ve known you for only twenty minutes yet it’s as if I’ve known you forever.” I slowly uncrossed my arms and folded them on my lap.  I hadn’t even realized but the longer he spoke the further in I leaned toward him.  We shared a minute of comfortable silence, Thor’s eyes drawing all over my face with a growing smile.

“They were right upstairs, by the way.  You look just like him,” He said, “As if every feature on your face was placed by him himself.”  A door opened behind us suddenly, knocking both of us out of our thoughts.  Spinning my head around startled, I found a redhead dressed in what looked like training clothes.  The second we made eye contact she gasped, reaching for her chest, taking a few steps backwards making me jump.

“Oh my god,” She groaned looking at Thor.

“I know,” He grinned happily.

“I thought she was him,” She composed herself and came to the side of our table, “Nice to meet you, I’m Natasha.” She held out a hand keeping her composed expression.  I placed my hand in hers and shook it glancing to Thor.

“Black Widow,” He mouthed to me and I instantly sat up straight.

“Hi, I’m Rachel,” I said politely.

“I know,” Natasha smiled, taking her hand back.

“Is everything alright?” Thor asked her.

“I just got here and before going up to the science fair I wanted to see if you knew when-,” She paused and glanced to me respectfully, “Rachel,” She nodded, “-was getting here.  Obviously she’s already here and in good hands so I’ll let the family reunion commence.  Excuse me,” She smiled and left us to go back inside.  My heart skipped a beat as I looked back to Thor who was already looking at me with uncertainty.  Natasha was clearly not supposed to say those words.

“What did she say?” I whispered nearly inaudible.  Thor turned his chin up, keeping his eyes on me.  He nodded after a moment, clarifying her words.

“Family?” I whispered again.  I felt frozen.  Paralyzed.  After another moment he nodded again.

“You are the daughter of my brother,” He said.  A lump appeared in my throat and I tried to push it down.  I could feel my bottom lip want to shake, but I did my best to keep it still.  My eyes, however, brimmed with tears.

“Family?” I whispered, repeating myself, bringing the sleeves of my hoodie up to hold my face.  Looking at Thor I took in a shaky breath, “I don’t have family.” His face fell slightly at my choice of words.

“I’m sorry,” I wiped my eyes and got myself together, “I didn’t... have family.”

“You do now,” He reached an arm out to grab onto one of my hands.  I watched it happen, I wanted to pull away, but everything about him was comforting.

“So you’re, what?  Like my uncle or something?” I shrugged with a sniffle.  Thor laughed.

“Uncle Thor,” He said out loud and we both cringed.

“No,” We said at the same time, making us laugh.

“Just Thor,” He nodded his head and I agreed, “Your father is my adopted, younger brother.  Do you know who that is?” His voice lowered as did his eyebrows again.  He was speaking carefully.  I shook my head and he sighed looking away.

“Is he an Avenger?” I asked, realizing we were still holding hands.  Thor gave mine a squeeze.

“Not necessarily.  I would like him to be, he’s quite a genius,” He squinted his eyes, “He’s helped us, but...”

“But what?” I perked up as his voice faded out.  Uneasiness washed over him as he shifted uncomfortably in his chair.  My stomach flopped.

“Your father’s name is Loki,” He said.  I took in a sharp deep breath feeling relief finally hearing his name.  The corners of my lips pricked up and Thor hesitated to continue.

“Go on,” I whispered, eager for more.

“You don’t know anything about Loki?” He asked me.  I smiled bigger at the sound of his name again, it was so regal and different like Thors.

“No, I don’t,” I said to him.  Seeing him hesitate I dropped my smile, “What is going on?  Is he some sort of criminal?” I asked sarcastically.  Thor glanced at me quickly with a subtle shrug and my jaw dropped.

“Not a criminal, he just enjoys a bit of mischief,” He said, “And by mischief I mean he sent the first attack on New York.” I sat in shock.  Thor squeezed my hand again.

“Don’t worry, he was being controlled by something called a Mind Stone, and after that he helped me save Asgard many times,” He said quickly and smiled trying to ease the news in.  I pulled my hand away and sat back in my seat.  Thor went on to tell me stories of how my father protected him, and then told me stories of how the two of them would get into trouble together.  They grew up together as close brothers even though my father was adopted.  Odin, their father, saved my father from his home, that apparently wasn’t Asgard, and made him an Asgardian.

“So, if you’re all from... As... gard,” I began.

“Yes?” Thor nodded for me to go on.

“Does that make me... As... guardian?” I cringed, hoping I was saying the right things.  Thor smiled and shook his head.

“You are a Midgardian,” He said.  I sighed.

“This is a lot of information,” I whispered, putting my head into my hands.

“We can stop now,” Thor said pushing his chair back.  He stood up and came to my side, resting a hand to my shoulder.  I looked at it and then looked at him.  This must be a trademark Avenger thing.

“We’ve been out here for some time.  I’m sure Bruce would love to meet with you now,” He gave me a pat and helped pull my chair out for me.  Once I was standing I turned my chin up to look at him.  When in a room with Tony and Steve he looked to be their height, but standing alone it was as if he was seven feet tall.  

I thought about having to go up that elevator to talk to Bruce Banner about the same exact things I did with Thor, maybe more.  The thought of that nearly making me nauseous, this first news not setting in yet.  I’m pretty sure my body was in shock.

“What is Bruce going to talk to me about?” I asked quietly.

“I’m going to have to let Bruce tell you that because I don’t do the big words,” He grinned, “Are you alright?” His face twisted with subtle worry.  I shrugged my shoulders and looked toward the roses.

“I’m overwhelmed,” I spoke honestly, “I went from being alone for three years to having a father and an uncle in three hours.  And they’re superhumans.”

“Right,” Thor mumbled, “Well, I’ll tell you what,” I looked back up to him and he pointed toward me, “Let’s just go in and have you get to know everyone here.  We’ll get you acquainted with the place and the team.  I’ll save you from Banner tonight.  What do you say?” I smiled.

There wasn’t an ounce of my being that understood what family was like, or how family acted with one another.  My friends will say we’re family to each other, but I know first hand that that’s not family.  It’s not family in the sense that I want it to be.  I get to hear all of the stories my friends tell me about their vacations and their holidays and their siblings or cousins.  Since a young age I can remember longing for a little brother or sister, but the moment I started to care for myself that wish had disappeared and turned into me wishing that my mother would want to go to the park again or eat dinner together.  Shaun, Jess and Elliot will always have my back and I know that I could always count on them for anything, but deep in my heart I wanted real, blood family.

“So you’re like a cool uncle,” Was all I said to Thor and he laughed.  He put a hand to my shoulder again and turned me around to guide me back inside the building.

Pulling my phone out of my pocket I checked the time and it read four thirty.  It’s been a little over an hour since I left my apartment with Tony and Steve.  I unlocked my phone with the passcode of my mothers birthday and found eleven unread messages from Shaun.  Tapping on the thread I smiled and shook my head because I knew he would be blowing me up.

S: Let me know when you’re there because OH MY GOD.

S: This is literally crazy...... LITERALLY crazy.

S: You just got in the car with THE AVENGERS.

S: You’re riding shotgun in one of Tony Starks audi’s RACHEL.

S: Okay I know it’s only been ten minutes but text me back please

S: Rachel you’re killing me over here

S: I’m eating your cheez-it’s btw..... I’ll reimburse you for the damage.

S: Okay honey bunches of oats it’s been 45 minutes can a guy get an update?!!

S: If you’re making out with Captain America I’ll kill you with my bare hands we’ve discussed he’s mine.

S: Now it’s been an hour.  In all honesty I really hope you’re okay.

S: I’ll leave you alone now....... text me back or call me so I can talk to you please

Glancing up in front of me I saw Thor standing beside the elevator leaning against the wall with his arms folded across his chest.  He wasn’t watching me, just looking around the building, but I knew he was waiting for me.

“Hey,” I said walking over to him, “Is it okay if I call someone real quick?” He looked at my phone and then at me with a smile.

“Sure,” He said, “But no need to be quick, take your time, don’t talk too fast.”

“Okay,” I assured him, keeping the amusement that he didn’t understand my wording to myself.

“I’m going to go upstairs,” He said, pressing the arrow on the wall, “When you’re ready to come up, come to the third floor and find us down the hallway.” Giving him a nod as he tapped my shoulder, he stepped into the elevator and I turned away tapping on Shauns contact on my phone.  It rang only once before he answered.

“Oh my god?” He sounded annoyed, “I’m sorry,” He then said quickly, “I’m so sorry, I was just really worried.  Are you good?  Is everything okay? What happened? Where are you?”

“Hi to you, too,” I sighed taking small strides around the tiled floor, “I’m okay, I’m at the Avengers... place.” It was as if I could feel Shaun’s stink eye through the phone.  With his range of knowledge on these people he hated it when anyone got something incorrect about them around him.

“You’re at the Compound!?” He gasped, “It’s called the Compound, Rachel!”

“Sorry,” I mumbled.  Footsteps sounded behind me, startling me.  Turning to look over my shoulder it was just two women in office clothes walking toward the stairs.  Neither of them seemed to notice me.

“What’s it like? Tell me everything.  Can you take pictures?” Shaun was speaking at a mile a minute, “Who did you meet? Oh my god, who else is there with you?”

“Shaun!” I said loudly, cutting him off.

“I’m so sorry,” He whispered guiltily, “Please, talk.  Ignore me.” His voice was squeaky, making me laugh.

“It’s fine, I know this is kind of cool for you,” I said, “But it’s been insane.  I met Thor.”

“You met Thor?!” Shaun shouted.

“And Black Widow.”

“And Black Widow?” He shouted even louder.  I laughed again and brought myself over to the stairs closest to me and sat down on the third step.

“Someone named Bruce Banner, too, but I’m not sure what he really does here,” I shrugged.

“Rach, he’s the Hulk.”

“The WHAT?” My turn to shout.  Now that was one Avenger everyone knew.  I quickly slapped my hand over my mouth and laughed feeling embarrassed.

“Yeah!  Big green guy? That’s Bruce Banner,” Shaun said proudly.  I shook my head.

“I thought he was a separate thing… his own being, yanno?  Where would I be without you?” I asked sarcastically.

“Apparently still at the Avengers Compound because what the hell are you even doing with you there?  Tell me about that, please?” He asked.

“They know my dad,” I said quietly, lowering my voice.  Shaun was silent on the other end.  I thought about Thor for a moment and what he told me about my father being his adopted brother.  All day I’ve been told by every person I’ve met that I look exactly like him.  Looking at Thor it seems as if the adoption thing checks out seeing that I have dark hair and finer features while he’s blonde and his features are broad and strong.

“Shaun...” I whispered.

“Yeah, Rach?” He asked sweetly.

“What do you know about Loki?” I asked hesitantly.  His line was quiet for about twenty two seconds before he finally answered me.

“Rachel... are... are you-“

“Yeah, yeah I am,” I answered him fast, “I already know what you’re asking, the answer is yes.  He’s my dad.” I was speaking bluntly and quickly as if I was Tony.

“Rachel,” Shaun said, “Are you okay?” I paused and bit onto my lip.  That lump that appeared in my throat before was back, and the tears that filled my eyes once began to come down.

“Not really,” I whispered, sucking in a shaky breath, “I don’t know what to do.  I’m going to have to meet him and I don’t think Tony is going to take no for an answer.” My heart felt as if it was thirty pounds too heavy.

“You don’t want to meet your dad?” Shaun asked genuinely.  I placed my arm across my knee and laid my forehead down on it trying to calm myself down.

“I don’t know?” I said like more of a question for myself, “My entire life I never had one.  Didn’t even ask for one.”  Shaun let me speak.  I sat up straight and wiped my tears away feeling some anger start to set in.

“He never came to us,” I said, “He didn’t come get me, or help me, or help my mom.”

“Rach-“

“No, it’s the truth.  What kind of father does that?  Never wanted to meet me?  Never wanted... to be around?  Even when my mom died.  I thought that would be the moment some sort of family was going to come out of the blue and be there for me,” I took a deep breath, clenching my fist tight, “I got nothing.  I’ve been nothing.  I may as well not even exist.”

“Rachel,” Shaun said stronger, “You do not mean that.  You matter and you matter a hell of a lot to me.  We’ve been on this road before.  We’ve felt this feeling before, and it is valid, but what do we say to it?” He asked me.  I sighed and shook my head.

“What do we say to it?” He asked louder.

“We tell it to go the hell away,” I said.

“Exactly,” He stated, “Go. The HELL away.  You’ve gotten yourself through a lot, and you’re going to get through this.”  

Shaun had been with me on some of my worst days.  The days I wouldn’t get out of bed, Shaun stayed beside me.  The nights I’d have trouble falling asleep, Shaun stayed on the phone with me.  I smiled thinking about the time he brought me a dozen balloons to my apartment with donuts because I was having a day full of panic attacks.  He stayed over that night as well.

“Thanks, Shaun,” I said quietly.

“Of course, Rachel,” He said, “Now... can I tell you about... him?” Sitting up tall I stretched my legs out and nodded, then realized he can’t hear my head nod.

“Please?” I asked him.

“I know that he is Thor’s brother,” He started.

“Yes, I’ve met Uncle Thor,” I said geekily.

“...Ew,” Shaun muttered, making me laugh.

“We both hated it too!” I said which made him laugh.

“Congrats!” He teased, “You have an uncle now,” I rolled my eyes with a smile, “Did he tell you about him?”

“Only a little bit, but he told me a lot about them growing up together,” I said.

“Earth isn’t exactly too happy with him,” He said.

“It’s weird hearing you talk about... Earth like that,” I cringed.

“I know,” He said flatly, trying to move past my interruption of his presentation, “But Lo- your... dad... was a pretty bad dude.  He’s some sort of witch as well, he does all sorts of magic and can project himself to be places his physical being isn’t even near.  He’s really powerful, and he’s just got a thing for getting into trouble.  It’s what he does.  It’s like he needs it to live or something,” Shaun ended that sentence with a laugh and a sigh.

“He does magic?” I asked curiously not even noticing the smile on my face.

“Mhm,” Shaun chuckled, “I haven’t heard of him getting into trouble recently, but I do know that he spent a lot of time locked up... so if you were wondering what’s a reason he would have to not come see you?  I’d talk to Uncle Thor about it.”

“Does Thor run the planet Asgard?” I asked, my eyebrows furrowing.

“Run?  You mean rule?  Your family over there is royalty, and no.  Thor does not rule Asgard and neither does your dad,” He told me.  My mind got stuck after he said royalty.

“Hang on,” I scoffed, “Am I a freaking princess?” I laughed obnoxiously feeling ridiculous.  Shaun laughed with me.

“I don’t know how it works,” He said honestly, “Gotta talk to your people, girlfriend.”

“Yeah,” I took a deep breath and looked down at shoes and then to my hand that still had paint on it from earlier today.  I tried to pick some of it off with my thumb but it was stuck.

“Thank you,” I said to Shaun, “I appreciate you, so much.”

“Anytime, Rach,” He said and I could tell he was smiling, “I got you.  I always will.  You’ll get through this.  You can do this.  The Rachel I know is a badass bitch who doesn’t let people push her around.  Which is funny because now knowing who your dad is...” I groaned, “I’m sorry,” He laughed, “I’ll leave you alone.  You can go.  Go try to enjoy this and soak it all in, and if you can’t please try to do it for me!” He pleaded and I groaned again.

“I love you!” I sang and he sang it back and we hung up.

I slipped my phone into my pocket and took a long deep breath in and out.  Knowing I get to go back home and see Shaun was going to be my new bribe to myself.  Once I get through talking to the Avengers, once I get past meeting my dad, I get to go home and watch movies with my best friend and forget this all happened.  Without getting a proper timeline from the men upstairs it made it tricky to know when that was actually going to happen, so whether it be tonight or tomorrow, that will be what keeps me going.  

Standing up on the stairs I unzipped my hoodie knowing I was on my way up to a very warm part of this building and I walked towards the elevator.  However, as I turned past the side of the stairs I collided straight into a guy who was walking pretty quick clearly on a mission like I was.  We both threw our hands up and gasped, but then laughed.  He was carrying a few books that ended up on the floor.

“I’m sorry,” I said reaching down for them at the same time as him.  Our hands bumped together and we laughed again.

“It’s fine I can get it,” He said, his voice sounding young.  It was almost similar to Shaun’s except it was a little deeper and not as flamboyant.  Looking up at him I met his brown eyes that were already looking at me.  His hair was short, brown and curly on top of his head and he wore a black button down with a white t-shirt underneath and a pair of jeans.  He was as young as he sounded. There was no way he was as old as the guys upstairs.

“Have you been here before?” He asked as his eyes studied me.  His eyebrows lowered slightly while he waited for me to answer.  I quickly glanced away and picked up his books for him realizing I had been staring for too long.

“No, it’s my first time here,” I stood up and he followed, “You?” I asked handing over his books.  His eyes never left mine.

“Yeah,” He said quietly, “I mean, no, I’ve been here before.” He held his books to his chest and nodded a few times, trying to not muddle his words.

“Oh,” I nodded with him, “Do you work here?” I gestured toward his books.  He held them out and raised his eyebrows.

“Work here? I just... no, I’m here with Mr. Stark and we do... some work... together,” He stuttered and then sighed.

“I’ve obviously thrown you off, I apologize.  I have to go upstairs anyway.  I guess I’ll see you around?” I said quickly, trying to escape.  There was a feeling inside my stomach I tried my best to ignore, but I needed to get away before I ruined this guys day anymore.  Giving him a small wave I hurried over to the elevator.

“Hey, it’s okay!” He called after me, “I’ll see you...” I pressed the arrow on the wall and it opened right away as if it was waiting for me. Stepping inside I pressed my back against the wall and looked out the doors.  The guy was walking up the stairs and right before the doors shut he looked over to me meeting my eyes.