#Several of these are technically separate parts of a longer thing

[spacedoutwitch]

Surprise Wednesday Post!

I HAVE been drawing more stuff (yay arm exercises!! Yay executive function!!), but I'm gonna hold off on that until my normal posting schedule, because that's easier for my brain. HOWEVER, @awondrousway did tag me in a writing-related thing, because that is also a thing that I do. I am going to be flexible in my definition of WIP here, both in terms of "what stage is the project actually in" and "hey don't people normally apply this stuff to fanfiction on this, the fandom website", and I'm kinda wondering if this will receive any interaction at all, but fingers crossed, and that being said:

I... am not gonna promise full versions or explanations for any of these, because I've been anxious about sharing most of them with anyone in the first place. But, like. Knowing there's interest could help?? With that?? Anyway. I've drawn/written stuff for all but one of the involved fandoms (including OC stuff), if that's helpful; have fun trying to narrow it down past that. I am going to go try to sleep off the Nonsense Anxiety that posting this is giving me.

[innerfare]

I Love You - Part 1

Summary: Who says I love you first? How do you say it?

Characters: Luffy, Zoro, Sanji, Ace, Sabo, Law, Kid

Genre: Fluff

CW: None // SFW

——— 

Luffy: He showed it first, asking you to join his crew, making sure you had a safe and healthy place to be yourself, fighting anyone who stands between you and your dreams, saving his funniest jokes until you're around to hear and giggle at them, even going so far as to share a little (really, only a little) bit of his meal with you, but you were the only who actually said it first. He gets severely injured after a nasty fight, and you stay by his side while he sleeps it off like he normally does, though it takes him longer than usual to wake up. When he does finally wake up looking for you and something to eat, you fling yourself on him and tell him how much you love him. You didn’t intend on confessing, but you were so worried about him and the words fell from your lips as soon as you knew he was okay. Your brows are still furrowed, and when Luffy asks why, you voice your insecurity that he doesn't feel the same way. Luffy just laughs at that and ruffles your hair. “Of course I do.” With that, he crawls out of bed in search of food. He quickly falls into the habit of telling you in the morning when you wake up, and it fills you with so much joy, it’s like he’s giving you a happy vitamin to start your day. And saying those words bring him so much joy that saying them is like he's taking a happy vitamin, too.

Zoro: To your surprise, it was Zoro who said it first. Though Zoro seems the type to bottle up his emotions, he’s actually not, he just doesn’t seem emotional because he’s really good at dealing with his shit. And he knows all too well how temporary arrangements can be, how quickly life can be snuffed out, how easily the people he loves and cares about can be taken away from him. So one late night when he’s alone in the shower, washing his hair (using Nami's expensive shampoo and conditioner because she left it in the shower and Zoro just uses whatever's within his reach) and thinking about you, he realizes how he feels, and he doesn’t even consider not telling you. He climbs into bed afterward in just his boxer briefs, his hair still damp and smelling extra good, shakes you awake, kisses you a few times, and mutters that he loves you in your ear before passing out, not even waiting for you to say it back. He doesn’t say it often after that because he doesn’t thinks actions matter more than words, but he always says it when one of you is injured or after an argument. 

Sanji: Sanji technically confesses first, but you’re the one who actually says those three words. He’s holding your hand in both of his, clutching it close to his racing heart, as he looks down at you, telling you all the ways you make his life better, all the things he’s looking forward to doing with you, all the energy he’s going to put into keeping you happy, healthy, and safe. And the words just sort of fall from your lips. He stops mid sentence, eyes wide and mouth open. The seconds drag on in silence before he’s pulling your lips to his. Both of you are very generous with these three words, saying them often and in public. If you ever hang up the transponder snail without telling him you love him, he’s calling you right back to make sure everything is alright. (Also, not really relevant, might do a separate post about this, but Sanji is definitely a heart-shaped jewelry sort of guy. He just is. Certified lover boy.) 

Ace: Your first, more implicit confession came one night before you two were ever in a relationship. You noticed he was a little off and saw him slip away from the crew as they were drinking the night away. You found him sulking by the water and sensed he was hurting, especially when you asked to say and he told you he’d rather be alone. Before you leave, you tell him, “I just wanted you to know that I’m happy you’re alive.” You had no idea that it would strike a nerve, just got the feeling he needed to hear it, and this was confirmed by him grabbing you by the wrist as you walk away and pulling you into his arms. You continue finding implicit ways to tell him you love him such as, “I think the world is a better place with you in it,” and, “I’m so glad you were born,” and Ace is never really sure how to respond, but he soaks your words up like they’re sunlight and he’s a plant. This culminates in him blurting those three words out one day when you’re sitting in a tree together, Ace avoiding your eyes for fear you’ll reject him. When you lean in and kiss his cheek, instead, he almost cries (and he does when he’s alone later on, your love the purest thing he’s ever known). 

Sabo: Sabo is always taking risks. He lives a dangerous lifestyle as the Chief of Staff of the Revolutionary Army, and on top of being one of the most wanted criminals in the world, he is an incredibly reckless individual who thrives when his life his threatened. He does not, however, thrive when your life is threatened. So accustomed to being the one others are fretting over, so used to Koala telling him off for taking this risk or making that dumb decision, he is completely blindsided by the anxiety he experiences when he finds out you’ve been captured. Naturally he launches a rescue attempt, and when it succeeds, he wraps you in his arms and tells you how much he loves you. He always makes sure to say it after that, telling you in the morning when you wake up and at night when you go to bed together, the memory of not having you there to hear it all too fresh. 

Law: Law is pretty bad with words, and, for lack of a better term, he sort of lacks a bedside manner. Needless to say, this carries over into other aspects of his life, including his love life (or lack thereof; Law has little to no experience in this arena). One afternoon, though, the two of you are fighting because you want to accompany Law somewhere and he insists it’s too dangerous despite all of your qualifications and skills as a fighter. You keep pressing and pressing, demanding to know why he won’t let you go when you are perfectly capable, until finally he blurts it out. “I love you! Alright? And I won’t lose you.” You aren’t even in any sort of relationship at that point, the two of you just sort of stewing in unresolved tension. His irate confession is the tipping point, and you become an item after that. When you hear it from him after that, it’s always in private, usually in the late hours of the night when he slips into bed and buries his face in your neck. Other times, it’s when you two pass each other in the hallway aboard the Polar Tang and he catches your hand in his, placing a warm kiss on your knuckles, muttering the words, and moving along quickly for fear someone might see despite the entire crew knowing about your relationship. 

Kid: You say it first. You say it a couple of times, actually, before you ever hear it back. You’re sitting in his workshop watching him build something, and you just sort of blurt the words out. You swear Kid hesitates before picking up the next piece of metal, but he gives no real acknowledgment you uttered those three words. Knowing exactly the sort of man he is and not expecting to receive anything in return, just wanting him to know how you feel in the moment, you aren’t actually offended, but you are wondering if he didn’t hear you. So, the next day in his workshop, you say it again, once more receiving no response. The third time you say it to him, catching him while he’s painting his nails, you receive a grunt in response (Kid is a man of grunts, not a man of words). Only in the heat of battle do you hear it back. He catches you around the waist and picks you up, and you fight thinking it’s an enemy, only for him to say, “I love you,” in your ear before deflecting a canon ball headed straight for the two of you and then setting you on your feet like nothing happened. From that point forward, he’ll say it, but only at inopportune times.  

———

Hope you enjoyed it! If you want more, you can check out my masterlist here!

[vsimp]

say something (song drabble) - inspo

word count: 2.9k

pairings: alhaitham, ayato, childe, xiao, zhongli/morax (x reader)

genre: angst/hurt/no comfort

summary: they lose you

Warning: presumed death/injury of reader, mentions of blood

Alhaitham x "I’m giving up on you"

Arguments with no happy endings. Rough words that could never be taken back or forgotten.

Alhaitham was the true definition of stubborn.

It was “rationality,” as he so called it. He liked to say things as it is, and there was no need to include your emotions into these conversations, as they influence your motives and produce bias.

Technical, yet cold and harsh at the same time, Alhaitham would leave no room for arguments when he knew that he was in the right. To even validate your feelings would be impossible for him because that was who he was; an intuitive scholar who knew wisdom beyond his years.

Then when was his wisdom too much for others to bear? Was there truly such a thing as too much knowledge?

He couldn’t even fathom such an idea.

And as he argued with you, his mind only thinking of rationality, reason, logic, and analysis, he deliberately ignored the way your tears streamed down your cheeks, how your hoarse voice broke as you cried about your relationship with him.

He then doubted himself for ever thinking he could get into a relationship. Hah. Something like this could never work out again. You both were just too different, or so that was what he’d tell himself as you both slept in separate rooms that night.

But as the house grew emptier and emptier, as you moved all of your stuff out, taking every single thing in his home that made it feel like… an actual home… he grew strangely uncomfortable.

Even as he looked back to that day of the argument, he knew he was right, and that your worries were of no substance. But why did your expression shake up his heart? Why did you make his chest ache? And why did he suddenly feel so empty all of the sudden?

The questions were answered very soon, after every single one of your items have been removed from his house.

And it was at that moment when Alhaitham realized that his house no longer felt like home. And then he realized the true reason for those inexplicable emotions, as he found the present he gave you during one of your birthdays. It was a promise ring, adjourned with your favorite gemstone. He remembered how you loved it so much that you would never take it off your finger.

Yet here it was, left on a note with one simple word.

“Goodbye.”

That was the day when he figured out quickly that even if he had all the knowledge in the world, nothing else could have mattered more, for as long as he had you, he would be the happiest man in the universe. It was a severe lapse in judgment on his part, and a true mistake that he so bitterly had to realize far too late.

He had lost you. You had given up on him.

He had nobody else to blame but himself.

Kamisato Ayato x "I’m still learning to love"

As the head of the Kamisato Clan, Ayato always had to remain vigilant at all times. He had to prepare for any worst case possible while also trying to actively prevent it from happening. It was the reason why he wore a mask around everybody who he knew.

He feared that if he were to let his guard down, revealing what truly laid underneath the mask, they would take advantage of his vulnerabilities and strike down everything he was ever trying to protect.

And that was the reason why he never trusted you, his own spouse. He had agreed to a marriage with you quite easily, as your family had something he wanted, and in exchange, he would take your hand in marriage, thus binding you and your family tree to the prestigious Kamisato Clan.

Ayato had assumed the worst about you, as your family had not given him the best impression either.

As he got to know you, however, he found that you were beyond his expectations. You were kind, compassionate, and intelligent. You did everything you could so that the clan and the Yashiro Commission could thrive.

You comforted him on the days when he truly was stressed out from all of his work, took on his pain as if it were yours. Not only were you beautiful, but you made him feel as if everything was going to be truly okay in the end, so long as you could give him that smile.

He almost admitted to himself that he had fallen in love with you.

Yet, a silly ploy from your family, one of spite over the fact that you were thriving in such a place, had ruined your marriage into shambles.

Ayato had lost his trust in you. Your family had planted false incriminating evidence, one that insinuated that you were plotting the downfall of the Yashiro Commission. You weren’t able to defend yourself, and you asked him if he really thought you were the type of person to commit such atrocious acts.

His eyes wavered for a moment at your question. But the "you" in his memory grew fuzzy as the thought that everything he was trying to protect was being jeopardized, that he shouldn’t throw everything he’s built over a mere spouse. That you were one of the people trying to harm him and his family.

That night, he muttered cold words to you. As if you were never even considered part of his family at all. As if all of those memories you two once shared never mattered. You were but an outsider to him at this point.

Since the diplomats of the Yashiro Commission grew suspicious of you, pressuring him to take action, he threw you out of the household that day. Perhaps he never loved you as much as you thought he did.

With no place to go, you ran out of the estate with only some small mora and clothes.

The estate remained cold without your presence there. No longer would he be surrounded by your brightness. But a traitor wasn’t worth mulling over, or so that was what he kept telling himself as he constantly found himself looking beside him, where you would usually be.

It wasn’t until a month later did his sister Ayaka uncover the truth. She and Thoma were the only people who believed in your innocence. She presented it to Ayato, and for the first time ever, he had never seen his sister so angry at him.

Regret and guilt washed over him immediately. What had he done? He had truly messed up. But he didn’t know that it was all a ploy, and he was just trying to protect the Yashiro Commission. Surely, you would understand. Right?

His heart ached for his lover as he ran all over the streets to find you. Ayaka had told him where you had been staying. He wasted no time to get there as soon as he could.

Ayato couldn’t forget the way those cold eyes of yours looked at him. He tried to apologize, but you just gave him a look of disappointment. It was like a slap to his face, a harsh wake up call as reality hit him. Maybe if he had trusted you more, maybe if he had trusted in his own love for you more, this would have never happened.

And yet, here you were, in the middle of a ragged, old inn that you could barely afford without the help of his sister, your clothes worn out as you had been doing everything by yourself the last month, and your cold eyes that no longer held the same love and affection for him as before— he knew that there were no more chances for him.

You slammed the wooden door shut in front of his face that day.

Childe x "I will swallow my pride / you’re the one that I love"

“You don’t understand. This is my job as the Eleventh Fatui Harbinger. My only duty is to serve the Tsaritsa. I can’t always be there for you.”

Those were his cold words that pushed you away. He was too blind to see what was truly in front of him at the time.

Childe strived for strength. He enjoyed fighting you, as he felt that you were both equal in terms of strength, and that he could grow in power with you. But that was all he saw you as—a sparring companion.

So when you started to hope for more, he instantly grew detached. It was like walking through a narrowed tunnel, where the only thing he saw was his goal.

There were no emotions as you confessed your love to him. An apathetic gaze that shook your emotions to your very core. It was only then that day when you realized that the heart you wanted to capture was unreachable. He had built icy walls that were impenetrable.

So you decided to give up on him.

Childe didn’t think too much of it. You were just a battle partner to him anyways.

He told himself that, but why did his heart ache when he recalled your tears? Why did he suddenly feel empty now that your presence was no longer there?

The silly jokes you’d tell him, the delicious food you would cook for him, the smile you’d give to him, and him alone— you were no longer there to provide that comfort that he had missed from being so far away from home for so long. Perhaps he had even started to see you as his home outside of Snezhnaya.

He realized that all of this time, he really did love you. He loved you so much, yet he was too caught up in his beliefs to realize it. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with you, to start a family with you, to have and to hold you until eternity has reached its end.

So he set down his pride, put aside his duties to the Cryo Archon temporarily, and he went to see you that day. And unfortunately, it had been too late.

You were smiling at another man, and he had lost you. And then he realized the true extent of the pain you felt that day when he had broken your heart.

Xiao x "anywhere, I would’ve followed you"

Xiao would never admit that he needed a companion in his life. It was his fate, his contract with destiny to serve and protect Liyue for the rest of his life, even if it cost him his very own.

He always isolated himself from the mortals, like a lonesome Qingxin blooming at the highest stone peaks. He looked down from height above, but never got too deeply involved with the matters of the mortals. It was only time, however, when somebody decided to climb those mountains and pluck him off the ground.

A hindrance to his daily affairs, and a nuisance whenever you followed him around, he knew it was his fault for forming a contract with you.

If you called his name, he would come. That was what he promised you. Be it for serious matters, whenever you needed his help with something, or for something more trivial, such as having a simple meal with you.

It was irritating to be called so frequently, but he was a man who kept true to his words.

It wasn’t until one day, you had made his favorite almond tofu dish and then called him over. It hadn’t even been a whole day yet since you’d last called for him, and you were already wanting to see him.

He had enough at this point. You couldn’t get any more involved with him. After all, he had always been alone for the last 3,000 years, and the karma he has to bear living with is too much for any regular mortal to handle. He needed to push you away.

“Don’t you have anything better to do than invite me over for something as trivial as this?” He would say coldly, not even wanting to sit down at this point. “I don’t want to spend any time with you. I truly loathe people who force others to do activities that they don’t even want to do.”

His words were much harsher that day. Although a part of him did feel bad, he needed to do this. He had to, that’s what he told himself. It didn’t bother him when you started choking into tears, nor did it bother him to see that heartbroken expression that lingered on your face.

“I just wanted to spend time with the person I love.” Your voice cried out painfully as you attempted to walk closer to him. “I would follow you everywhere, through everything and anything! You just have to let me in to your heart, Xiao!”

“Do you have any idea how stupid you sound right now? I will never love a mortal like you.”

The rejection was clear as day. He didn’t love you back. All of the time he has spent with you, the way he held you up gently after fighting some monsters, his small smile when you made him almond tofu for the first time; those memories were all rendered meaningless as he cut you open with his words.

But somehow, you knew this would happen. Your eyes looked defeated as you stared at him right then and there. You gave him a heart wrenching smile, which was a look that puzzled him the most.

He could never forget the look on your face. With eyes that stained with tears, and a beautiful, forced smile, Xiao knew that this was finally the end.

“I understand. Goodbye then, Xiao.”

He shut his eyes as you disappeared from his sight. It was inevitable that you would leave that day, yet the discomfort originating from his chest would not disappear.

Yes, this was something he had to do, no matter how painful it was, no matter how attached he was getting to you.

You never called him after that for a while. He thought it was a blessing, but somehow, the silence made it even more eerie. Like a singular piece of jigsaw that was lost amongst a thousand pieces of a puzzle.

"Xiao…” he heard you say after some time had passed. A weak voice. He knew something was wrong.

There, he found you. Laid in a puddle of crimson red. Everything was in slow motion at this point to him. He wasn't even able to assess the situation before he had pulled you immediately into his arms, calling out your own name in worry.

There was no response.

Thoughts of anger and regret washed through him, just like the heavy pouring rain that diluted your blood, like thunder that roared through the lands out of despair.

That day, he realized that this was the last time you would ever call his name.

Zhongli x "I’m sorry I couldn’t get to you."

The Geo Archon was a magnificent entity, one that inspired awe and respect from many individuals. You were but one of them who admired—no, more like adored him.

You fought alongside Morax in many battles to protect Liyue. It was your pride and joy to help with this almighty god.

But as often as you tried to pursue his affections, wanting Morax to look at you and you only, his gaze never seemed to find yours.

With a look gentler than any soft breeze in the plains of Liyue herself, you had never seen such an expression from him. He looked at Guizhong with such a tenderness, even dedicating a beautiful song on the lyre for her, bringing her glaze lilies to bloom from such a lovely song. You wondered if you could ever compete with such a beautiful goddess like her.

Your hands were tainted in blood, the malice of monsters and demons leaving scars all over your hands and arms. Your words were rougher with others, as you belonged on the battlefield, compared to the wise and kind-hearted God of Dust.

You were distracted more than usual one day, and you were injured quite badly in a battle with monsters. With blood pouring from the side of your rib cage, you immediately went to Morax to seek help. You could feel his divinity from miles away, and when you arrived to the area he supposedly stayed, your heart ached as he held Guizhong’s cheeks so gently. It hurt worse than any wound that you have even sustained.

You couldn’t help but drop your weapon. The loud clang echoed through the courtyard, and that was when the man had finally and actually looked at you.

Shock had laced in his golden eyes, his hands dropped down from her cheek to his side as he had realized the state you were currently in.

Your eyes had started to glaze over, tears pouring down your cheeks as you felt your own heart break. Your emotions were so strong, yet so ugly, that even the plants had started to wilt around you. You didn’t want him to see you like this, so you immediately turned your back away from him.

“Y/n, are you okay?!” His voice shouted as his footsteps drew closer to you, but your cold voice cut him off.

“Don’t take a single step towards me, Morax.”

He paused, unsure of whether or not to continue forward judging from your tone. Even as your blood seeped to the ground, staining the earth and dyeing the flowers around you a crimson red, you remained turned away from him.

You walked away from your unrequited love, ignoring his calls and pleas as he asked you to come back so he could treat your wounds.

You shut your eyes, enveloping yourself in the darkness.

[rafesgoldrings]

Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy

Pairing: Cowboy!Rafe Cameron x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Mutual masturbation, smut, light choking, reader rides Rafe, not proof read so i’m sorry if there’s any errors or this isn’t as good as usual😭, I’m almost positive that’s all

Summary: When you see that Rafe Cameron is looking for new ranch hands, you jump at the opportunity. You’ve heard the rumors about him being a cowboy casanova and plan on keeping it professional, but his blue eyes and thick southern drawl make it harder than you planned

A/N: First off @congratsloserr you’re literally a genius for this request and I hope I did it justice. Second, this isn’t the last time you’ll be seeing Cowboy Rafe🤭

You and Rafe had been going out for a few weeks, you’d started working at his ranch when you saw they needed some help. Everyone had told you about Rafe and how he was an incredible boss, but a major cowboy casanova so don’t get any ideas. Now that really was the plan, go to work, do your job, then leave, nothing other than that. But then he walked in, his big blue eyes looking directly into yours, he was wearing a light green button down, bootcut blue jeans, and cowboy boots and hat. You’ve heard people say they feel that spark at first glance, but believed it to be bullshit because how can you feel that connection from a single glance? This is how.

You tried so hard to be strong, really resist the charming smile he’d give you. The way he’d call you ‘darlin’ and ‘sweetheart’ with his thick southern accent, but it was becoming harder and harder. He’d been spending more time with you, insisting it was to make sure you’d settled in nicely and to help you out a bit, but then the flirting started. He’d greet you with a ‘mornin beautiful, how’s my favorite girl today?’ and walk you to and from your car each morning, telling you how lucky he was to have someone as incredible as you working for him. The resistance you’d worked so hard to build gradually falling more and more apart with each brush of his hand against yours.

And then he’d asked you. He’d asked you the question you tried so hard to avoid even happening. ‘Hey darlin, would you like to go out to dinner with me Friday night?’ it was inappropriate. He was your boss and a huge player who didn’t respect any of the women he met. It would be terrible to agree…

So here you are…several dinner dates later and in a semi official relationship. The most you’d done with him is give a small peck on his lips, maybe if you didn’t put out he would get bored and you could go back to just being his new ranch hand. But it didn’t seem to be working very well, he still asked you out and still placed his hand on your lower back as if he was claiming you. He still gave you a small kiss on the cheek when you’d part your separate ways at the end of the night, still greeted you with the same flirtatious things he’d always done.

And then, because why the hell wouldn't it happen to you, you’d been in his home instead of the usual restaurant you went to for dinner. Maybe you'd felt a tad bit more bold, or maybe it was because you no longer wanted to resist the temptation of him. He’d made you a very nice dinner and paired it with some fancy wine you couldn’t even pronounce. It was actually a nice evening, a night with just the two of you and nobody else around. Felt almost natural, he offered you the guest bedroom if you wanted to say and you accepted after a few moments to think. Was it a mistake? Maybe, but isn’t life all about making mistakes?

He was still wearing his cowboy hat, technically you could blame what happened next in the two glasses of wine if anyone asked, when you decided to kiss him. All the tension built over the last few weeks finally bubbling over. Your tongues battling for dominance until his took over. It made your head spin and you needed to pull away for air. Your lips swollen from the intensity, then you reached up and pulled his hat off of his head and put it on your own. Watching as he ran his hand through his messy hair and gave you a smirk.

“You know what they say about the cowboy hat rule don’t you sweetheart?” you shook your head no, a toothy grin on your face.

“Well,” he pulled his phone out and connected it to his home speaker before playing the song ‘Save a horse, Ride a cowboy’ “I think this song sums it up pretty well”

Giving him a small smirk, you unbuttoned his shirt and took a minute to admire his abs, and then undid his belt to pull his pants down. Once he was stripped, his boxers being discarded somewhere in the large living room, you pushed him onto the couch. The music blaring in your ears, alcohol running through your system, and the lustful gaze he had gave you a whole new level of confidence. You were so glad you wore a dress tonight, nothing too fancy but also nothing too casual. You slowly peeled one of the straps down your arm, and then the other, before sliding it down your body. Rafe was squirming from his spot on the couch at the sight of your bare tits and black lace thong on full display.

“Fuck darlin, you’re gorgeous” his voice full of adoration, eyes raking up and down your body just wondering how he was the lucky bastard that got to see you this way.

“Thank you cowboy” you gave him a playful wink, hands hooking into the sides and moving them around like you’d seen so many dancers do before, slowly turning so your back was facing him and bending over to take them off.

Your glistening cunt was on full display for him, perfect ass right in front of him. He wanted to keep you bent over like that and fuck into you until you couldn’t handle it anymore. But he stayed put, wanting you to go as far as you were comfortable with. You brought your hands to spread your cunt apart, smirking to yourself when you heard Rafe groan , before rubbing your clit with one hand. Your fingers rubbing your swollen bundle of nerves relentlessly, arousal leaking out of your hole and onto your thighs.

“You’re killin me over here baby” it was almost a whine, his head was thrown back against the couch and he had one hand stroking his cock when you’d turned your head to look over at him.

“Fuck” you let out a small moan, the visual of Rafe jerking himself off while you touched yourself turning you on even more.

You stuck two of your fingers inside yourself, giving your clit a break, and began pumping them in and out. A low whine escaping your lips as you picked up the tempo, the sound of mixed moans filling the room. His breathing hitched, a small chain of groans falling from his lips as he came all over himself, you followed shortly after. Moaning his name over and over again, moving one hand to the coffee table to balance yourself as you fell apart on your own hand.

“Alright darlin, you’ve had your fun. But now it’s my turn, bring that perfect body over here and ride my cock” his voice was much more firm now, you quickly did as you were told.

His hands gripped your hips as he guided you down into his cock, mumbling a small ‘fuck’ as your cunt slid onto his cock and clenched around it. You slowly began bouncing on it, circling your hips occasionally, trying to adjust to his size. He was much bigger than anyone you’d ever slept with, much more girthy as well. But it hit all the right spots inside you and made you see stars each time it brushed against them. The grip he had on your hips was firm enough to bruise, especially when you started going faster, but you loved it. His hat was still on your head which drove him wild. He had this pretty girl bouncing on his cock, wearing his hat, in his home. He was the luckiest man alive right now.

“You’re so-fuck-so big Rafe” a smirk took over his face at the compliment.

“Yeah? You’re taking me so well sweetheart, such a good girl for me. Your cunt feels so fucking good around me” he moaned out, moving to wrap his hand around your throat and pull you into a kiss. The both of you moaning into each other's mouth at the overwhelming amount of euphoria you were experiencing.

You weren’t going to last much longer, it was too much for you to hold off. That familiar feeling in your belly building up again, Rafe was close too. He could feel himself getting closer, opting to grip your hips and start moving you faster. Listening to the pretty noises that slipped through your parted lips, god he could come undone just listening to them.

“R-rafe, ‘m so close” you brought your forehead against his, the cowboy hat pushing further up on your head.

“I am too darlin, want to feel you come on my cock baby. Can you do that?” you weakly nodded, hair sticking to your face and bodies glistening with sweat.

“3..” his hips snapping into at a relentless pace.

“2..” your lips capturing his, the kiss sloppy but full of passion

“1..” the both of you falling apart. His lips moving to your neck as he claimed it as his, his cum filling up your tight cunt until it was making a prominent ring around his cock. The filthy sounds of your wet cunt filling the room as you came all over him.

He gave a few more lazy thrusts as you rode out your high before you slowly climbed off of him. You laid against the couch, legs spread and cum dripping out of you, mouth open and panting. His cock had softened by now, his head against the cool leather of the couch as he tried to catch his own breath.

“You’re something else baby” he chuckled.

You gave him a small smile before pulling his cowboy hat off and placing it on the table, slowly standing to go use the bathroom and clean up. When you walked back into the living room, he was dressed again which made you slightly disappointed. He watched in confusion when you grabbed your things and headed towards his guest room.

“Where are you going gorgeous?”

You turned around to face him, face slightly twisted in a confused expression. “To the guest room? I’ll leave by the morning I promise, we can just act like this didn’t happen if you want”

Was he done with you now? He’d gotten what he wanted and now it was on to the next poor girl that fell victim to his charm. You weren’t special, just another notch on his belt. He probably-

“What? Darlin, after tonight? There’s no way I'm letting you go, sleep in my bed with me. Want my girl next to me when I'm sleeping so I know I'm not dreaming” oh, well that was unexpected.

You assumed he’d throw you out, find someone new. Not want to keep you.

“Oh, Okay. Well i’m very exhausted,” you let out a small laugh “could we go to bed?”

“Course sweetheart” he grinned, standing up and walking to grab your hand before leading you to his room.

He threw you one of his shirts before going to his bathroom and taking a quick shower, walking out in just a fresh pair of boxers and joining you in bed. Your back was facing him and you gasped when you felt his strong arms wrap around you and pull you into him. It felt natural, like this was how it was meant to be in a weird way. Like he was meant to be like this with you, his player reputation being a bunch of baseless talks because he hasn’t settled with any of the girls. But he wasn’t the player you’d heard about with you, he was kind and gentle. He gave you his shirt to sleep in and wrapped his arms around you to hold you close, he called you gorgeous and darlin everyday, greeted you every morning, took you out to dinner.

But the one question played in your mind, what now?

“Rafe?” you heard him let out a small hum, “What are we? Like where do we go from here?”

“Well,” he took a deep breath, or let out a yawn, you couldn’t see him to know which one “I want you to be mine. So if you would like it, i’m asking you to be my girlfriend”

You couldn’t help the large smile that took over your face involuntarily. You felt like you were back in high school and your crush told you they liked you back. Like the young girl you once were that thought she found her prince charming because a boy asked you to marry him with a ring pop on the playground.

“I’d like that” your voice came out in almost a whisper, the sleep starting to take over you.

“Good, get some sleep darlin” a small kiss was placed on the top of your head, strong arms wrapping tighter around you.

Your arms wrapped around his and finally, your eyes closed. The both of you falling into an easy sleep, limbs tangled with each other like it was meant to be.

Tag List: @outerbankspov @sweetestdesire @dreamingwithrafe @congratsloserr @fulla02reads @madelynie

[storm-angel989]

🎀IM SORRY FOR BLOWING UP YOUR INBOX! But Val/Vox(idrc which one) x Anorexic Daughter Reader?🎀

PLEASE READ BEFOREHAND

Hi Friend,

You’re not blowing up my inbox- I keep every request in a google doc and when inspo hits I work on it! If I ever decide I won’t do a request I won’t just delete it- I’ll post and say it directly <3 

Preface for this work:

 I’m considered a plus sized equestrian/plus sized human. Eating disorders come in all shapes, sizes and issues. I believe it’s Blythe Barid who said “If you develop an eating disorder when you are already thin to begin with you go to the hospital. If you develop an eating disorder when you are not thin to begin with, you are a success story.”

Stories like these are based on my own experiences and issues- and on this topic, I’ve had quite a few. Please remember that all bodies are worthy of love and respect, care and concern. It's a tough concept to wrap our heads around, and admittedly I still struggle with it. 

A little background info: 

ED’s are a huge part of my writing that I haven’t published. Ana and Mia are characters I have created (or maybe my own food issues created them). Either way, they’re  separate entities for separate stories- demons that I imagine have their own place in hell as well as in my writings (all of which have been in existence far longer than Hazbin). That being said, naming your ED is something I did and I have done. Even for the purpose of writing this story, the entire thing felt wrong without Ana running the behind the scenes. 

With this one I tried to pain the pain, the anger and frustration behind that never feeling good enough feeling. I would be open to doing part two if folks would be interested. Please also know I’ve written on this topic in several other forms if you explore my masterlist (or I can directly send you the links if you PM me). 

<3 Mandy 

I stepped on the bathroom scale and looked at the number that flashed below. The words of my coach echoed in my mind- I needed to lose the summer weight, or else I would be benched for the rest of the season. She had helpfully provided me with a journal to keep track of my weight, what I ate in a day, activities I did and how many calories I burned in accordance with my VoxTech watch. 

A month ago, I had met her goal, thus ending the weekly weigh-ins. According to her, I had lost enough weight to maintain my place on the team. It was on me now to make sure that I maintained that weight, or lost more. In her exact words, you could never be too skinny. 

“Bebita? Breakfast,” my fathers voice called from the hallway. “Come on, before it gets cold.”

The number told me I hadn’t gained weight, but I hadn’t lost weight either. I picked my backpack up and slung it over my shoulder. 

“Sorry, Dad! I’m late! I’ll eat at school, I promise,” I answered back as I rushed out the door. 

Surely skipping breakfast wouldn’t hurt. 

Skipping breakfast turned into skipping lunch. Skipping lunch turned into avoiding dinner. Sugar free jello and skinny pop became my go to snacks as the numbers in my book slowly but surely began to get smaller. Somewhere, a little voice inside my head began to cheer my successes on the scale. Over time, I learned that she had a name. 

Ana. My secret diet partner. My invisible cheerleader. The willpower I needed to keep going on the hardest days. And most importantly, someone who paid attention to me, 

With each passing day, Ana grew louder. She encouraged me to keep my diet a secret from my family. After all, they wouldn’t understand. Pleasing her, it became almost like an addiction- a game I played with myself to see just how little I could become. Food became nothing more than numbers, an obsession that consumed every minute, every second of my thoughts and desires. 

In my household, it wasn’t hard to keep it to myself. Hell, one could argue that I wasn’t technically even keeping it a secret. My father had a very important job, after all. And my Auntie Velvette and Uncle Vox also wouldn’t have had the opportunity to make the connection. A quick, I ate earlier, sorry! And I got off scott free. Ana cheered with each no thank you I uttered. My head between my knees after practice had become a ritualistic practice. Waiting for the black spots to fade, taking deep breaths to try to regain the energy to stand up and walk out to the awaiting limo. It wasn’t like there was anyone waiting at home for me anyway. 

On the daily, I kept a careful eye on my voxtech watch. The first time my blood sugar dropped, I got a call from Vox. Paniced waves rushed through me. A suggestion from Ana to bribe to a friendly tech demon. A brief trade later, I had constant vitals being sent from my watch, my real ones hidden behind a password. With this newfound freedom, outside of homework and practice, my time normally devoted to hobbies or hanging out with friends became time to sleep. After all, I was working on the perfect body. I needed my rest. 

For almost six months, Ana and I were best friends. 

Saturday morning. Game day. One of the busiest days for my father. After all, lust and depravity raked through the weekends like wildfire. Or at least, that was what he claimed. I stood in front of the mirror trying desperately to tighten the drawstring 

“Hey bebita?” I heard my fathers voice call from the hallway. “Baby, are you up?”

“Yeah, Dad. I have a game today,” I snapped as I tied another knot in the string. 

Why the fuck wouldn’t these stupid shorts stay up? I fumed to myself. Every part of my body ached, and even yanking on my shorts sent black spots and exhaustion rushing through my body. I leaned my head against the mirror and tried to take a deep breath. I could do this. I had to do this. 

The next thing I heard was my fathers voice, felt his hand shaking my shoulder. It took every ounce of energy to open my eyes. 

“Bebita? Reader, can you hear me?” Valentino asked frantically. “Princessa, wake up, now!”

“I’m fine,” I muttered as loudly as I could. Somehow, I managed to push myself upright. 

“You most certainly are not fine,” he replied sharply. “I’m taking you downstairs to the doctor, right now.”

Doctor. That meant I would miss the game. No, I had an obligation to my teammates. Somewhere in my head, Ana screamed.

Get up, fatass!

You really want to fuck this up for everyone?

You better not let him take you to the doctor, you do that and you’ll never find perfection. 

“I’m fine,” I growled, louder this time. I pulled myself to my feet and black spots dotted my vision. I felt my fathers arms around me and in seconds, I was off the floor and in his arms.

“Put me down, I can walk,” I tried to yell. Inside my head, Ana screamed louder, demands and insults about my current predicament. I pressed my hands to my head and curled my fingers in my hair, “Dad let me down NOW!” 

He ignored me as he carried me down the hallway. 

“Vox? Velvette? Both of you, with me. Now. We have a problem.” He said loudly. 

“Woah, what’s going….” Vox’s voice began. 

I shoved my hand against my father as he walked through the living room.  To my relief, he set me down on the couch. 

“What?” I snarled as three sets of eyes stared at me. “What the fuck are you looking at?” 

Vox checked his phone and then walked over to me. With one finger, he lifted off my Voxtech watch. 

“Hey! Give that back!” I demanded. “I’m going to be late to my game!”

All three of them ignored me. Wordlessly, Velvette walked away and returned moments later, bathroom scale in hand. She set it infront of the couch and gave me a hard look. 

“Step on.” 

“Fuck you,” I snapped as I stood up. I tried to ignore the black spots that danced just out of sight. “My weight is none of your fucking business.”

“Reader!” Valentino said in dismay. “That’s no way to talk to your Aunt.”

“I’m leaving, I’m already late. Thanks, Dad,” I continued sarcastically as I kicked the scale aside. 

Inside, Ana cheered. I bent down to pick up my backpack and the world around me spun. Three steps,  and Vox’s hand gripped my upper arm. The last thing I heard was Ana’s voice screaming indistinguishable words. 

When I came to again, I found myself in a room of gray and blue. Wires stuck out from my chest, and I tried to cough and spit the feeling of something painful in the back of my throat. I tried to reach up, to shove my fingers down my throat, and my skin met padded white cuffs. 

What the fuck?

You’re going to have to work hard to get yourself out of this one, Ana taunted. Great job getting caught, fatass. 

“Hey, baby, it’s alright, Papi is here,” I heard my father’s voice say somewhere far away. 

“Mr. Valentino, I promise we’ll be in touch when she’s more stable,” a new voice said. “For now, it might be best to give her some space to…”

Indistinguishable arguments. My fathers refusal and reminder of who exactly was in charge here. My Uncle Vox and Aunt Velvette chiming in, a mix of talking him down and agreement. 

Panic shot through me as the haze slowly began to wear away. Realization. Through the fog, only one word came to mind. 

Fuck.

[reflectionsofgalaxies]

Could you do jackieshauna fic recs please? I loveee them!

Oh ABSOLUTELY!!! Thank you for asking!

There’s so many that I could recommend, and there’s no way I’d remember them all, so these are just some of my favourites from my bookmarks, mostly longer or multichap ones! All are complete unless otherwise stated. If you end up reading any I’d love to know what you think!

Putting them under the cut because this is a LONG post!

Check ratings before reading! Some are explicit or mature and I forgot to note that.

O Nyghtengale by nainabanaina

19k words, fantasy AU. Shauna is an exiled knight and Jackie is a Fae creature she’s instructed to kill in order to end her exile. Very pretty, nice and short novella type story. Written for The Princess and The Butcher prompt.

folie à deux by zoeyclarke

10k words, very dark. This is not a happy fic, but it is incredibly, incredibly well written. One of those fics that haunts you with how beautiful but twisted it is. Essentially a yearly ritual Shauna performs after returning from the wilderness as a way of dealing with grief. Technically major character death.

knock knock, let the devil in by TheDragonsLittleBird

58k words, Venom!Shauna AU. A very fun ride start to finish, heavy on the action and plot, mostly Shauna centric. You don’t need to know anything about Venom to enjoy the fic, but having some knowledge lets you pick up on extra little details. Author has also written incredible Spider!Lottie stories that exist in the same universe and happen before the events of this fic, but both can be read alone.

loudest are the things unsaid by 0gasstationcoffee

55k words, pre-canon. This is an explicit fic. Like, the plot is that Jackie and Shauna do progressively gayer things together while Jackie reminds Shauna that she’s totally not gay. It’s somewhat angsty, very hot, and very well written, great characterization as well. Because this technically is pre-cannon the ending is hopeful but not a ‘happily ever after’.

always be my baby by tabithatwo

343k words, incomplete. A fandom classic up there with you stay with the earth. A phenomenal read. Present day timeline au where Jackie survived, but Shauna doesn’t know that until the blackmail and other mysterious things start happening to our girls. This one has everything. Ensamble story of all our favourite ladies, suspense, action, intrigue, romance, this is a full blown novel that creates its own immersive universe. Long but worth savouring.

I feel more free than I have in years (six feet in the ground) by fowles

139k words, college au. The crash never happens but Jackie and Shauna still have their falling out, and both head to college separately, this is the story of them slowly reuniting over the four years they are apart. My summary will not do this story justice. This is THE college AU for me. Along with our in-show favourites the author also includes original characters that are part of the university journey, especially Shauna’s, and you will love them like you do the characters from the show, they are that well developed. Also featuring Jackie and Natalie bestfriendism, a huge bonus for me. If you read and liked ‘this little girl breaks furniture’ you will love this one, similar vibes.

when you look my way by shipmvn

318k words, incomplete. Honestly anything written by shipmvn you can assume will be amazing, and this is no exception. A canon-divergent fic where our team is rescued in a timely fashion and return to their lives in Wiskayok, but even though they were rescued quickly that isn’t something you move past easily. Very very slow burn, but tender and lovely all the way through.

all i wanted was you by britishngay

174k words, no plane crash AU. Set several years out of high school and after the falling out, our girls are grown up with lives and careers completely separate from each other. Until life throws them together again and they realize the tension that helped blow up their friendship is definitely still there. So they fuck about it. Friends with benefits AU, basically, but with a fully fleshed out world and plot and it’s a delicious read.

Taylor’s Eleven by mademyselfmythical

49k words, Oceans Eleven AU. Absolutely hilarious concept with flawless execution. It is what it says on the tin, it’s a heist story (or an anti-heist if you ask Jackie) but it’s also absolutely a comedy. Basically Jackie accidentally drives a getaway van and is determined to return what she inadvertently helped steal. A pure joy to read.

this little girl breaks furniture, this little girl breaks laws by Bandydear

155k words, rescued quickly but life keeps going, canon-divergent fic. Another classic. Top five if not top three JackieShauna fics I’ve read. You will fall in love with this world. Another JackieNat bestfriendism fic, and although this is technically both JackieShauna and LottieNat, Jackie and Nat’s friendship is truly the heart of this fic. Basically Jackie and Nat get a tiny flat in New York and together they learn how to live. Also one of the few fics that casually nails how fucked up Jackie and Shauna are about each other, but like, in a very much ‘match my freak’ way.

Who’s That Knocking At My Window? by nainabanaina

101k words, Vamp!Jackie AU! This fic is such a fun ride, it has a whole self contained plot and could be a book on its own essentially. Just, so much fun. Basically Jackie returns to Shauna, but a little bit wrong. Most of the story is told post-rescue.

VEAL by anaphoruh

80k words, time travel fic. This is definitely one that I’d read the summary and tags for, as it is an age gap fic (1996-ish timeline Jackie and 2021 timeline Shauna) with some darker aspects, but in my opinion it’s delicious. Incredible writing paired with exploring the darker aspects involved in Jackie and Shauna’s dynamic, but mostly in Shauna’s mind (because Shauna lived through the rest of the wilderness and then essentially another lifetime carrying the grief and the guilt of what happened out there. That doesn’t go away when some glitch it the timeline gives you back your teenage love a lifetime later.)

freeze, crash, burn, bury, linger by zoeyclarke

64k words, timeloop AU. This was one of the first longer fics I ever read for Yellowjackets! This author writes incredible fics that tend to be on the darker side, but this one is an exception. As frustrating and angsty but also funny as timeloops should be! Jackie relives the day of the crash again. And again. And again. Something has to change, right?

as i scan this wasted land, try to find the way i feel by commanderofraccoons

38k words, timetravel AU, but not in the way you think. When I first read the summary for this fic I wasn’t sure it was going to be my thing, but it was one of my first favourites I ended up discovering. Callie, Shauna’s daughter, gets yeeted back in time and space to the Canadian wilderness in 1996 with only her vape and her partially charged iPhone. Totally out of her depth, she finds an unlikely ally in Jackie, and helps mend some cracks along the way.

memento mori by britishngay

46k words, gladiator AU! Another totally wild AU, also written for The Princess and The Butcher prompt. A delightful read that tells its own story but keeps the heart of our beloved characters. A pleasure to read, would legitimately read this as its own stand alone book.

honey, you’re familiar (like my mirror years ago) by novel_concept26

40k words, timetravel AU. Another timetravel AU, but this time the whole gang is along for the ride! Not strictly a JackieShauna fic, this truly is an ensamble story, but it’s charming and adorable and Jackie does play a very important role.

kingdom for a kiss by hanjisgirlfriend

14k words, and they were Roommates! I usually most enjoy fics that are around or upwards of 20k because I feel like that gives enough time to fully flesh out a story, but this fic manages to tell an entire story, and beautifully at that, in only 14k words. Basically one of Jackie Taylor’s roommates doesn’t like her, and over the course of four months she strives to change that.

i look to you and i see nothing by theyellowumbrella

67k words, roadtrip au. Before you read this you MUST (in my opinion) read the companion fic ‘blow all my friendships to sit in hell with you’, 18k words. The companion piece was my first introduction to JackieNat bestfriendism and after reading it I could never turn back. Both fics are absolutely incredible, well written, beautiful journeys.

only you can breathe me back to life by RynWill

66k words, incomplete. Zombie!Jackie AU! Another ‘came back wrong’ fic! I love love love this fic, it’s just fun. Like, it’s both Yellowjackets and a zombie fic, so it gets dark and a little gory at times, but it’s basically a rom-com. Yes it’s incomplete but it’s so worth reading.

you stay with the earth by knifecrab

176k words, incomplete. Do I even need to put this one on here? This is THE canon-divergent wilderness fic for JackieShauna fans, even one of the people managing the Yellowjackets twitter has read it. It’s basically required reading. Some lovely people did give me a heads up for some postpartum depression in the later chapters, so I’m passing that knowledge along so you know going in.

wander your own land by namelessblade

379k words, incomplete. Very similar vibes to you stay with the earth, another canon divergent fic set in the wilderness where both Jackie and wilderness baby live, but notably darker. I found the later chapters a little bit frustrating to read, but it was a result of GOOD writing, you know that feeling of ‘I know this character WOULD do this, but I WANT them to smarten up’? Yeah, that. Absolutely worth a read, also big on the JackieNat friendship agenda, which is always a bonus.

you’re just a bee charmer by tabithatwo

53k words, catfishing/texting AU. I think this was legitimately the first JackieShauna fic I ever read? That was a while ago so I might actually go back and read this one, but it’s lovely and funny and pretty lighthearted. Also like everything tabithatwo writes it’s just generally incredible. Essentially Jackie and Jeff finally break up (for real this time) and to prevent their rollercoaster of a on-again off-again relationship from continuing Shauna decides Jackie just needs to know she has options. It was just supposed to be a quick supportive comment from a stranger to boost her self-esteem, really! But it certainly doesn’t stay that way. Definitely a go-to for a feel-good read.

talk, valentina! by shauna_apologist

78k words, no crash AU. Another one I read early on! Shauna starts getting bullied and rumours start to spread about her possibly not being straight, and Jackie takes it upon herself to become a better ally for her bff and her team. She gets a little more than she bargained for. Basically Jackie learns about comp-het and some things start to click into place. For a fic that does discuss bullying and comp-het this is a mostly fun, lighthearted read!

a secret third thing by jackiesear (Ash46luvr)

22k words, kid fic! Wilderness baby survives and upon returning to civilization Shauna starts to build a life for her and little Jack, and Aunt Jackie plans on being there every step of the way. Family dynamics can be confusing, but perhaps Jack actually sees something they don’t when Aunt Jackie starts to become ‘Mama’. Absolutely adorable fic, everything you could want out of a kid fic. Cozy from start to finish.

fixer upper by woodenpicador

27k words, rescued after three days/post college AU. Another one I read and loved early on. Jackie returns to Wiskayok after college to purchase a house with her boyfriend, but she soon realizes the house might need a little more work than she first thought. Luckily Nat knows a guy. (Spoilers, that guy is Shauna Shipman. But Jackie really does need to get this work done, and Shauna needs a place to stay, so they can be adults about it for a while, right?) Small town AU vibes, which I suppose is literally what it is.

once you stop, stop looking (it’ll hit you in the face) by novel_concept26

21k words, camping AU! This story is basically ‘what if instead of forced team bonding through trauma in the Canadian wilderness, the team just goes camping?’ and it is delightful. Not strictly JackieShauna but they’re definitely part of it, this is another true ensamble story. I basically smiled reading through the whole thing.

it’s like you’re made of angel dust by theyellowumbrella

34k words, college/sorority AU. Shauna is an aspiring journalism student who is looking for her ticket out and up to Brown where she belongs. Stuck at college for the time being she decides an exposé on Greek life is bound to be that ticket, so she works to infiltrate a sorority to get her scoop, but meets glowingly beautiful, kind, and surprisingly genuine Jackie Taylor in the process. A well written, fun, and mostly light read with some angst and inner ethical turmoil for spice.

WHEW this is a long post and took me a while to write, but I hope it’s worth it! It was genuinely fun to make! All fics are on AO3, I didn’t do links bc my bookmarks are on my laptop and I’m typing this up on my phone, sorry!

Edited to add links! So many of these authors also have other incredible works as well, if you enjoy one of the fics I highly encourage you to check out the author for their other works!

[ringleader-inky]

Lily Orchard is stupid but what else is new?

So recently Lily has made a challenge that is as follows:

(Keep these rules in mind)

And AntGr and CrimsonEnder made a list of 50 of those charcters. Which Lily responded to and hoo boy is it bad.

Now I'm only going to be doing several characters from this list because 1. I don't know some of these characters and 2. I can only handle so much of Lily's stupidity. So with that out of the way let's get this show on the road.

Of course you'd put N here because you didn't understand his story to begin with. N definitely does fall under number 2 because he was raised by Ghetsis. You know... THE LEADER OF TEAM PLASMA! I've said this before, but I'll say it again N essentially grew up in a cult. That's not even mentioning that in black and white 2 they show that some of Team Plasma really did think they were freeing pokemon. You see part of Team Plasma split because some followed N's ideologies and others followed Ghetsis. They have a whole safehouse in Driftveil City where they protect pokemon separated from their trainers. But yeah N's ideology was totally swept under the rug guys.

First of all, Donkey Kong was actually a villain. It was in his very first game where he kidnapped Pauleen. You know.... this one. You were probably around when it came out Lily.:

So technically Donkey Kong is qualified for this list believe it or not.

As for Dedede and Meta Knight their case is quite simple.

In Dedede's case in the game Kirby's Nightmare In Dreamland. Dedede literally breaks the Star Rod that powers the Fountain of Dreams. Which allows the people of dreamland to have dreams, but since the Star Rod no longer powers it there's no dreams. However Dedede did this because he was trying to keep Nightmare from absorbing the Fountain Of Dream's power and taking over the world. Nightmare is cosmic deity that's evil will destroy Dreamland if he got out. So in that instance Dedede does have a point. After all if the Star Rod isn't in the fountain then Nightmare won't come out and kill everyone.

As for Meta Knight's case. Well... just look at fucking Meta Knightmare. The reason why Meta Knight wants to conquer Dreamland is because Dreamland is lazy. While that might not seem like a good point, consider that Dedede is stealing food from the people and how there's some sort of cosmic threat every year or so. You kinda start to see his point a little bit. But if that doesn't work then how about in Squeak Squad where he steals the chest from Kirby and Daroach. The chest had Dark Nebula inside of it and was sealed away. Therefore having someone try and open it would be a big fucking problem.

Last but not least... Edgeworth:

Before we get into why this point is bullshit I'd like to bring up this ask:

I bring this up because it proves that Lily doesn't know what the fuck she's talking about. You see Edgeworth isn't just a state prosecutor. HE'S A CHIEF PROSECUTOR! He's not just some joe shmo. Also really, prosecutor can't be evil? May I call Manfred Von Karma to the stand:

In case you don't know. This man is a prosecutor that had a perfect record. All of his defendants were served the guilty sentence. However the only reason why they were found guilty was because he forged evidence. Meaning Manfred is responsible for putting people innocent in prison. He even went so far as to murder Edgeworth's father. And guess who was his protege?

That's right none other than Miles Edgeworth himself!

Meaning that up till Phoenix had arrived Edgeworth was doing the exact same thing Von Karma did. Granted not forging evidence, but still putting innocent people in jail because of he wanted to keep his reputation and he didn't care for justice. Therefore in the first game Edgeworth was the villain. Whether you like it or not. And because Lily never specified that the villain had to be redeemed or not Edgeworth is viable enough to be on this list. So check fucking mate Lily.

[entomjinx]

ONE PIECE CHAPTER 1113 SPOILERS!!!

It's tagged, it's in bold, if you didn't see it that's on you, but I'm sorry. (I'm also a little sick so sorry for how this starts to turn a little insane at the end.)

The reveal makes perfect sense. I've seen a few people struggle to figure out where it came from, so I'm gonna explain why it makes perfect sense and then pop off with some silly theory.

The first hint at the fact that the One Piece world is sinking exists all the way back in Long Ring Long Island.

That seems like an odd place to start, but it's the first time we're shown how drastic the tides of the ocean in the One Piece world can change. It's enough to separate entire parts of an island, causing it to appear as separate islands, once every year.

This implies that the tides change drastically over the course of much longer periods than it does in the real world.

After that, we get to Water Seven and discover that it's sinking, and that the Aqua Laguna is getting worse every year. We also know that it's caused by the water receding at Long Ring Long island. We're also outright told that they want to make the city float to stop the sinking problem.

We also, much later, see just how high Wano is in altitude.

Knowing that the Redline is so tall that it cannot be passed by any ship, cannot be broken through, and that Mariejois is sat right on top of it only adds to why it makes sense.

The world isn't "sinking," those some islands technically are(Water Seven, modeled after Venice), the tides are going to rise exponentially, and fast.

The force of the water would instantly drown most people, and those who survived would be those who could get to higher altitude islands, the sky islands, Fishman Island, or the Redline.

And because I know someone will try to point this out: land bound plant life can temporarily survive underwater, so Ohara's 5000 year old library tree would be fine for a a bit while submerged. There's lots of places with high tides who's plant life is just fine. (This also could explain why they'd be so willing to throw the books into the water. Not only was it to save them from the fire, but many of them had likely been submerged for long periods of time before. They knew the books would be find in the end because they had record of it. And well, it's mentioned in the chapter that Vegapunk means to finish what Ohara started.)

This would also explain how thorough the government was able to be with wiping out information from the void century. If only a few places can survive, then few things that tell the truth will survive, and even fewer people.

Do I think I'm 100% correct about any of this? Or course not, it's Oda. It's One Piece. Things are pretty much never predicted with 100% accuracy. But that's my thoughts on why it makes sense. Now we get into theory:

I have several points to make, so I'm going to write out the shortest ones first.

-This would, completely unironically, explain some of the centuries long racism campaign against fishman. They have no reason to fear the high tides. They will survive no matter what happens on the surface, and that scares the humans who cannot.

-I think that the extreme tide is a part of why the bridge is being built in Tequila Wolf. I believe the bridges purposes is to connect all the highest points of the world so there's no need for ships to carry them. This way, the Celestial Dragons will still have access to more slaves, produce, and anything they can't get within Mariejois on their own during the time period when everyone drowns.

-and now we get to the big one:

I think that the reason the 20 kings and their people destroyed the ancient kingdom is because the ancient kingdom had a way to survive the high tide while keeping the maximum number of people safe in the process, and while being able to save many more people. They refused to ask for help, and were instead afraid of the power the ancient kingdom held, so they sought to destroy it.

I think that the ancient "weapons" were instead a means of survival, and the reason they were hidden is because the 20 kings would have used them as weapons instead. We don't know much about the ancient kingdom, so much of this is speculation.

I think Pluton was a large enough ship that it could carry the entire kingdom. We've already seen some massive ships in One Piece, and Iceburg intends to turn the entirety of Water Seven into a ship, so the idea of an island sized ship isn't all that odd.

If you continue to think about it, why did none of the Beast Pirates manage to find Pluton while searching for the poneglyph in Wano? I have two theories for this based on the fact that we're told Wano would have to open it's borders in order to get Pluton. If the walls would need to be torn down, then we can continue to assume that Pluton is massive.

Theory one is that Pluton is is hidden within the mountain itself, and that the mountain was man-made to hide the ship. Not only would the walls need to come down, but the mountain itself would have to be destroyed. They would also need a way to survive the high tide without it, so creating a mountain that is high enough in altitude to keep them safe would have been a necessity. I think this is the more believable of the two theories.

Theory Two is that Pluton is Wano. The entire island is the ship, and many of Wano's people descended from the people of the ancient kingdom or those they rescued. This one is much less likely, but it's still a possibility in my mind.

We know that Poseidon was the former mermaid princess, and that the current one is Shirahoshi. She can control the sea kings. Why would this be important? Because if everywhere floods, then the sea kings, who are already very large creatures, suddenly have an influx of room to move, food to eat, and places to lay eggs. It would cause a population spike. *However,* that would cause an ecological disaster within the food chain. The sudden influx of sea kings would be desperate for any food they can get their hands on, and many would likely die of starvation. This means they need some way to repel them from the large ship.

We don't know anything about Uranus yet, so I've nothing for you.

Another thing we know about the ancient kingdom is that they seemed to be friendly with everyone, or at least it's implied via how many friends Joy Boy made.

Fishman: Along with the bonus of having Poseidon, the fishman also have access to the tree resin from Sabaody. Should the ship(Puton) or the ancient kingdom ever need to submerge in order to keep people safe or to have a temporary air bubble, They'd be safe.

Lunarians: The people who originally lived on top of the redline. Sinee the redline is high enough to not sink, it would have made sense for them to be trade partners.

Skypians and Shandians: Another race with wings. if the tides really got too high, then they could join them in the sky sea for a time. They could also trade with them.

Minks: Zunesha was a friend of Joyboy's. We don't know much else about that situation, but it's likely that Zunesha is plenty tall enough to keep the minks from drowning, and they could have traded often as well. Maybe Zunesha was even able to do something similar to the giants.

The Giants: This feels like the most important one to me, and not just because of recent chapters. Obviously the giants think very highly of Nika/Joyboy, but it's also very likely that Elbaf is tall enough to survive the high tide, and if not, the the giants themselves are. If you look at what's known about current giants, some of them are tall enough to walk along the sea floor, and the ancient giants were so large that it's said they pulled and moved continents.

Why is that bit important? Because a ship the size of an entire island would likely need a lot more than sails buoyancy to move quickly. The ancient kingdom was pulled by the giants. They moved to different areas to rescue people and to trade so that life continued while the tide was at it's highest point.

Another random thing that supports this is the giant's vehement hatred towards Charlotte Linlin. She has Totto Land, which is supposed to be a place where all races live in harmony, but it would be a mockery of what the ancient kingdom was like, and for giants, who live about 300 years, that's only a few generations back. They would still have stories about the ancient kingdom and remember the truth.

Again, I don't think anything I predict will ever be 100% accurate, but I hope you enjoyed my rambling nonetheless.

[earthmixsclowderofcats]

Just genuinely asking, do you actually believe that ZeeNuNew is dating? (I believe in them)

Oh, this never ending debate.

When I first got into BL these two confused and confounded me for months. It always seemed like people were either very strict and defensive truthers or pessimistic deniers.

Honestly, I went back and forth several times on them, and I think what I have come to conclude is that they're both and neither and whatever the hell they want.

Because due to the parasocial aspects of the Thai bl industry these men (Thai bl men in general) play a version of themselves in public, the same way most people do. Only their public persona is what makes them marketable. It's part of their brand.

That doesn't mean there isn't truth to it.

Fanservice and genuine affection do not exist in vacuums separate from one another. Real life relationships are way more fluid and complicated than black and white.

There are things they do that seem very performative, but I have to wonder if maybe that's just part of their personality and relationship in general. But obviously it is also, at least partly, for the fans. As it is their brand. But again, that's something that doesn't exist in a vacuum.

In a classic, western sense they haven't officially actually come out but rather were like "you can think whatever you want."

(I think this might have changed recently with the language they've been using but I'm not 100% sure due to fan translations being subjective. But like, I'm pretty sure they've said recently in an interview they basically date at work.)

At some point (especially in the past few weeks)I've legitimately just started feeling like a homophobic crone for thinking it was ALL for fan service. Like, those two clearly are very important to each other. They clearly love each other in some way.

It's so interesting because like, in a way these shipped pairs are living their own fake dating au's. And I fully believe there are some people who just committed to the bit to the degree that it no longer became a bit, and I'm pretty sure that's zeenunew.

You can see their relationship change over the years. I don't doubt there was fan service in the cutie pie era. I also don't doubt that those big sappy displays of affection are sincere.

So i used to put them in the category of "shrodinger's ships." They were both together and not until proven otherwise.

But recently I've shifted them into the category of "committed to the bit too hard and now it is no longer a bit."

Because I think it's both fan service and legit, and like, that's just how they roll. If it is an entirely false charade they've been on for years then consider me bamboozled and in awe of their hustle, but in this economy we take all the serotonin we can get.

Also, like, regardless of any outside perspective of their relationship, their personal relationship is going to be what it is or isn't either way. What are we gonna do about it by arguing over semantics and technicalities? What would they get? Nothing. We have literally no stake in this and no influence.

[stagefoureddiediaz]

Ok go with me here - @fruityfirehose and I have been exploring a few things while chatting, and one of the things we’ve been contemplating is related to the lightening strike and Bucks coma dream and how it relates to bi Buck and the Tommy of it all.

Something we discussed is the idea that Daniel in the coma is actually Evan and that Buck essentially has multiple personalities (metaphorically speaking - I’m not implying that Buck has spd or anything).

I know it sounds a bit of a leap and illogical, but it does make sense I promise! It’s part of why my theory that Tommy is an alt version of Buck and why Tommy insists on calling him Evan is so interesting as a concept.

It’s kind of hard to explain but hopefully I make sense!

Buck has been going through his life ‘struggling’ with his identity - with fitting in in the world he existed in in any given moment. This has been because two versions of him existed inside him as essentially one person - he is both Evan and Buck (think conjoined twins type situation but with personality instead of the physical body) and they struggle with each other for dominance.

Evan is obviously tied to the Daniel (and his ghost) of it all, and that side of Buck has been dominant for most of his life, but as Buck put distance between himself and his parents and his childhood home, the ties to Daniel weakened until the Buck part of Buck was able to become dominant - with moments of Evan regaining control during this time (in the same way that Buck probably surfaced occasionally during his childhood - most likely with Maddie). The lightening strike is the moment when Evan and Buck separate - the lightening strike severs the thing that has been tying them together - Daniel (hence the prevalence of Daniel in Bucks coma dream!)

So now they are no longer conjoined and in a split personality type of way they exist as two separate people. But only one can survive and move on - where we’re at now is approaching the moment Buck has to choose who he will become - does he regress and become Evan - letting go of Buck. Or does he let go of Evan and become Buck.

Tommy coming into the picture is a physical representation of this choice. Its why Tommys past is so important as a hurdle for Buck - and why the fact Tommy has grown a bit but not that much is important. It’s why Tommy calls Buck Evan - it is Evan trying to assert control - the control he had when Evan and Buck were connected.

It’s about making the choice of who he becomes - which path he follows and once he makes his choice he can embrace who he is fully rather than by the half measures he has been doing up to now - because he will no longer be at war within himself!

It also makes the not realising he’s bi integral to it all as well, making it even more interesting - because it’s Buck who is bi - not Evan (I know technically Evan is too but just go with me and the metaphor here) - Evan represents repression - heteronormativity and trying so hard to conform - to become whatever is needed of him in the moment. Which is what Tommy represents as well and why he is Evan - that is what he did - repressed himself and became what he needed to be to survive (at the 118 pre Bobby and I guess through his childhood as well).

The thing is, Tommy won’t change or grow further - he allowed himself to be queer - which benefits him but no one else (I.e his queerness is freeing for him - he gains from it, but confronting and dealing with the racism and sexism - making reparations and learning - doesn’t have any direct benefit to him so those parts haven’t grown or changed - he is still those things. - the fact Buck hasn’t been shown to be any of those things is irrelevant - they are representations of a concept - the who Buck could’ve become had he not ended up at the 118).

But buck can and will change and grow - we’ve seen it through the past 7 seasons, and it’s why he’ll ultimately break up with Tommy, because Tommy and Evan are compatible but Tommy and Buck are incompatible. Buck will choose to be Buck and not Evan and so they can never work, because that tug of war between Buck and Evan cannot continue. One has to win in the end, and as Evan is static/ weakening, while Buck keeps growing and being nurtured by the firefam and Eddie and Chris, Buck is the one who will win out in the end.

[moodymisty]

Hello 🌹I hope you are doing well in life. I'm so glad you're accepting requests again. In a way, I've been coming to tumblr for your blog lately✨ Sanguinius/aristocratic reader from Terra. A performance or concert on the next conquered planet. It was a long campaign, it took several primarchs to subjugate the world. And now the event is going on (they are in a separate box), the reader becomes bored and she casually invites Sanguinius to do something more interesting (🤭❤️‍🔥). He says that his brothers or sons may hear. And the reader objects that they are probably busy with something else and will not pay attention. As a result, someone heard it and was very surprised that the reader was capable of such a thing. And she calmly reacts something like “you underestimate my power”))) Something like this, you can change the conditions in any direction❤

[ 𝕸𝖔𝖔𝖉𝖞𝕸𝖎𝖘𝖙𝖞'𝖘 𝕸𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖑𝖎𝖘𝖙 | 𝕬𝖔3 ]

Author's Note: So sorry for this taking so long first of all! This one got stuck at the bottom of my ask box and I've finally gotten to it. I hope you enjoy and that it's worth the wait!

Relationships: Sanguinius/Fem!Reader

Warnings: Some semi-public handsiness, The implication of Sanguinius drinking your blood and enjoying it

Word Count: 1046

"If I'd known this would end up so boring, I would've considered faking being sick."

Sanguinus with an ever so slight turn of his head, looks down at you from the corner of his eye and smiles.

"Then I would've had to rely on Corvus to help me negotiate. Would you not spare me such a fate?"

You jokingly reply that perhaps you would, though it's not as if he often needs it.

Sanguinius; The Great Angel, the son of the Emperor, but foremost a mutant. It hadn't been easy, making so many overlook such a glaring, unmissable detail. Even with as resplendent as he is, it is impossible to ignore the great white wings that cue into his technically mutated being.

Residents of the current Imperium have, but many planets that the Blood Angels come across have less than stellar reactions to Sanguinius on first impression.

Impressions after however, tend to fair far better.

Leaning back into the plush seat you look away from whatever display the planet is putting on- the closest word you can use for it is play- and your head tilts to rest on Sanguinius' bicep. He's no longer dawning his armor, though his sword rests right beside him, and instead is dressed up in ornate woven clothing from Baal.

In red, of course. Part of you wonders if he simply prefers to match his legion's title, or if he enjoys being a cliche.

You attempt to hold back a sigh, and instead let out a yawn and roll your eyes. If you're bored, you can't imagine how his men are feeling, having been on the battlefield not two days ago and are now here chomping at the bit.

"Why can't we return to your quarters on the Red Tear already?"

Sanguinus looks down at you as you lean against him. His smile isn't as wide as it was before, still sitting upright.

"You're lucky my brothers aren't within earshot to misconstrue your words, my love."

Though they are here. You can't find Corvus, but you do see Guilliman in his distinctive blue across the theater; Though his head is hung oddly low.

You elect not to point out to Sanguinius that he's fallen asleep.

"And how do you know that they would be misconstruing it?" You say instead, looking up towards him and failing to completely hold in a devious smirk.

Sanguinus, instead of taking the demure but seductive bait you’ve laid out for him, scolds you instead.

"You should clean that mouth of yours then, with my sons so close."

As if Sanguinius has never before said something a bit lewd. You roll your eyes and look up at him with the sweetest, softest face you can muster, head tilted to one side.

“I highly doubt they are be able to hear us in a room this soundproofed.”

You know that despite your high collared clothes that there's a mark- one of many- he's left on your neck that's still fading, and it's implication might be just the thing you need to bring him closer to you.

When your lips touch finished speaking you watch the way his eyes leave your own for a moment, darting downward.

While you know that in almost every aspect he can overpower you, outsmart you, at the end of the day he is still distinctly human.

"I think that mind of yours will be one of the few things I will never truly understand."

Sanguinus' massive size difference often times makes the simplest of things so difficult, as he presses a hand into the arm of your chair farthest away in order to lean down closer to you.

His eyes are soft, ever so slightly hooded, as his hair tickles your cheek. You had little interest in the spectacle put on for your beloved to begin with, but now that you have his complete attention it’s faded to little more than background noise.

His lips press against yours, warm- trapping your upper lip between his own. You can't help but softly moan into his mouth as you finally get what you wanted, feeling his other hand lay against your thigh.

It dances along your leg, large and covering so much of your thigh; Now it sits tantalizingly close to the apex. Your legs spread slightly to give him room that you desperately hope he'll make use of, not that you've convinced him. Your body is hot, lower stomach tight.

When he pulls away he doesn't leave for long, lips drifting across your cheek before pressing against the pulse point just below the corner of your jaw.

He can feel the way your blood pulses underneath your skin, against his lips, and his desire grows. He likes to torture himself with it, perhaps. With the sound of your heartbeat, and the though of a taste.

Sanguinus has nigh unbeatable restraint when it comes to the curse put upon him and his sons, but it doesn’t mean you haven’t convinced him to give in once or twice.

His lips brush along your neck and your hands weave into his hair, breaths becoming quicker. Sanguinus, once against the idea now presses against you harder, pushing you into the seat, his hesitance forgotten or simply abandoned.

Neither of you hear the sound of the door to the private stall opening until it is almost too late, and two of his sons spot their primarch quickly pulling away from you and leaning back upright. He looks at them, turned in his seat. Sanguinus looks as picturesque as usual apart from a slightly jostling of his hair, but you look out of breath, clothes wrinkled.

The slightly larger of the two Astartes clears his throat.

"Lord Sanguinus," The Blood Angel nearly stumbles over his words in a rare fit of discomfort.

"We should depart now. Corvus wishes to speak to you aboard the Red Tear."

The angel nods to his sons and rises, before offering you one massive hand. You gently take it, and he looks down at you and shakes his head. You know exactly what he’s thinking and you can’t help feel a bit prideful about it, even more so when he leans down just slightly to whisper to you.

"You will be my end, you know."

[harveyguilleniconodelamoda]

My first post! Guillermo's slayer boots

My first post is, of course, dedicated to the boots Harvey wears as part of his Slayer!Guillermo getup! Based on various photos, they look to be a pretty standard black lace-up combat boot with side zippers.

Most combat boots have a sturdy, quite heavy sole with a nice tread that makes these great for keeping stable footing in all kinds of terrain (or in a fight with vampires). These are also great boots for anyone with wide feet or calves, as the laces make them easier to get on and off as well as highly adjustable in terms of the boot shaft (I speak from experience).

Guillermo seems to wear these laced up only part of the way, with the top two rows of grommets left empty and the laces tied around the ankles for extra stability. The side zip also appears to be left open in several of the photos, and is likely decorative rather than fully functional. Lots of boots like this have a decorate side zip on the side of each boot that faces outward, and either no zip or a less decorative, functional zip on the side facing inward.

A few things to note about combat boot construction!

There are several boots with slight differences that all technically fall under this category. My personal favorite is this style, in which the body of the boot is constructed of four pieces of leather (not including the tongue): a large piece for the toe area, two large mirrored pieces for the sides of the boot, and a long piece for the heal with a strip of leather going all the way up the back of the boot shaft, unbroken.

I personally prefer these because I feel like they're sturdy, easy to keep clean, and don't irritate my heels compared to some other constructions. Sometimes these include a side zipper to make them easier to take off and put on, but sometimes their only closure is the laces. I like the side zips personally, because I have big feet.

Another common style has a separate toe piece in the front and a separate heel piece in the back. These generally have a slimmer silhouette (making this construction a popular choice for women's boots), but that separate heel piece breaks right on the bend of the ankle, and I've found it tends to rub me raw there regardless of how thick my socks are. Does anyone else experience this?

I've also seen combat boots that have the separate front toe piece of leather to allow for the slimmer silhouette, but the unbroken longer heel piece in the back. These are great as well, though I don't think they're quite as sturdy over time as the one unbroken piece of leather on the front.

Less common now but something I've also seen especially on older boots is a longer boot shaft that is a separate piece of leather. I've also seen some boots with zippers up the back, but I would recommend avoiding those at all costs. If the stitching from two pieces of leather being joined together irritates your heels, imagine what a metal zipper is going to feel like! Heel height is also usually on the low side, though of course there are combat boots out there with taller heels and even platform soles. Guillermo's boots appear to have the standard low heel.

Another key difference you may find is how the boots lace up. Some of them have full metal grommets punched through the leather on the boot shaft. This allows you to lace the boots up all the way, tightly and with extra security over the course of the day. If you're fighting vampires, this seems like a good idea!

My personal preference, however, is the open eyelet style. These are essentially metal hooks attached to the boot shaft that you can loop the laces over. These are great if you tend to use laces that fray at the edges, if you have arthritis or another condition that makes fiddling with laces annoying, or if you're just not planning to wear the boots laced up all the way (and I'm all three).

If you're in the market for a pair of boots like this, make sure you check these features: the back construction, the toe construction, the zipper placement and functionality, and the grommets where the boot laces up. Also check the soles for good, deep tread as well as for stitching rather than glued soles. Glued soles are going to be cheaper but they're also going to fall apart sooner.

Some affordable (under $100) options for combat boots similar to Guillermo's include:

The Breslin style from Wanted, available in sizes up to Women's US 11 and in several different colors. I've had a couple of pairs of Wanted boots over the years and they've all been pretty comfy. However, they're usually glued soles and thus start coming apart pretty fast, especially if you live anywhere that has weather. This style also has a back zipper, so remember my warnings on that!

The Legend style from Wanted, available in sizes up to Women's US 10 (size 11 currently sold out) and only in black.

The Stevie lace-up combat boot from Torrid, available currently in Women's US 13WW and only in brown. These tend to come in and out of stock at Torrid. I have a pair of these in brown and a pair of a similar Torrid style in black. They're sturdy and comfortable, but I would highly recommend planning to break them in before you, say, spend an entire day walking around in them.

VampireFreaks.com has a wide range of combat boots for sizes up to a Men's US 14. The styles that most closely resemble Guillermo's are their Sabotage, Dead Walker, and Switchblade styles.

Note I have not included Doc Martens on this list despite them being one of the combat boots brands, because a) their quality has gone down quite a bit, b) their prices are too high to justify that drop in quality, and c) Guillermo's boots don't appear to be Doc Martens or similar to any of their current styles. If you want a pair of Docs I recommend looking on ebay or in similar places for a pair from the early 2000s or earlier.

[ms-scarletwings]

New (Cursed AF) Invader Zim Headcanon:

Barring the potential for major acute blood loss, Irkens can actually survive a full decapitation.

And I brought substance to make the case with.

Cockroaches, one of the most infamously durable of real life animals, can live for several days, sometimes even weeks without their head. And for the most part, they still even act like normal roaches- crawling about, reacting to touch, standing around, etc. it seems the only reason this eventually catches up to the critter is because no mouth = no way to keep bringing necessary food and water into the body. If that were bypassed, however, it stands to reason the little zombie could thrive just as much as a headed roach.

Almost disturbingly, the head itself can actually last a surprising amount of time solo as well. Experiments with decapitated roaches show that after body separation, roach heads can still move their antennae for hours before succumbing- much longer even if kept refrigerated and supplied with nutrients.

One of the neat things about roach bodies that makes such a feat possible is how their nervous system is set up- simplified ref against what yours looks like below

Now, anyone who has ever said a roach can survive for a while without its brain is not being entirely accurate. Functionally, they actually have two sort-of brains: the main point of nerve centralization is contained in the head, which for the most part is a primary brain responsible for movement coordination, certain technical functions, interpreting stimuli that comes in from the antennae, and more. The second main point of interest in this system is a series of nerve clusters running down the insect’s abdomen known as ganglia (singular: ganglion). These bundles of neurons are not exactly brains in their own right, but they do function as an extended CNS that handles the control over the digestive tract, reacting to stimuli, leg movement, and other more basic bodily functions. These can operate the body on a primitive level after the loss of the main brain, up until thirst/starvation begins to run the wind out of the sails.

You know what sort of creature actually DOES have two entire complete brains? One up top, and an auxiliary backup a little further down?

If you were nodding along and saying “irkens!” Then you would be correct! One peanut and five more days in the bunker for you 🥜 ~

As is obvious to anyone familiar with the show, the PAK is an essential cybernetic addition to Irken biology, holding their gear as well as an entire digital backup of their personality and memories. While it serves many functions to the user, the first and foremost priority of one is to protect the existence of the meaty entity it needs in to carry itself around.

To that end we’ve seen some autonomous acts from time to time with Zim’s close calls. If you recall “Plague of Babies”, he… kind of died for a moment there, caught up in a wave of GIR’s lethally amplified stupidity. In response, his PAK appears to resuscitate him with a quick jolt. The would-be events of “10 Minutes to Doom” emphasize the necessity of the PAK for any Irken’s survival beyond several minutes, which directly implies PAKs facilitate a major biological process their natural bodies are no longer capable of alone. Personally, I think it might be something either neurological or related to respiration, on a hunch.

Well, whatever it is, they are toast without it in swift manner, and the PAK doesn’t prefer to be without its other piece anymore than the body does. Dib’s revelation about the technology described their relationship with its body like that of driver and car, but I think he’s missing something. The PAK is actually more than capable of carrying itself around without the body… at least for a time.

When I think about those things, a little dilemma pops up in my head concerning how they.. well, how they’re powered. It is never explained or demonstrated that they are given time off of the body in order to charge; however, irkens are probably advanced enough to have some smaller and sci-fi wildly potent and small energy source up their sleeves, but actually, that wouldn’t quite make sense here. Because Irken bodies still produce their energy the same way every other lifeform in the known galaxy does, with food. Lots of food, actually. They can mow through snacks at about the same rate as Augustus Gloop. PAKs don’t need to produce their own independent energy source, they just need to efficiently make use of what this organism is already evolutionarily fine tuned to do naturally. Now that’s smart engineering.

And so, like any respectable auxiliary life support feature, they hold some of that energy in a reserve for those crisis moments like in “Plague of Babies”, and also in a deleted scene made for “Abduction”!

Fun trivia fact, but originally that episode was supposed to feature a sequence where Zim nearly game overs again. He takes a gnarly hit and a literal plunge through open flames that knocks him out in a free fall.

Despite his incapacitated state, the PAK extends its spider legs in order to catch a walkway railing, both saving his life and proceeding to keep carrying his limp body to a safer location, until of of course, he comes to about a moment later and carries on.

And neither of these are the only times it’s sprung into action the moment it detects something has gone horribly wrong. When accidentally detached from its own host, an emergency response will be triggered within the PAK in an attempt to reattach with its body. Failing that, it attaches instead to… well, whatever it can find.

In “10 minutes to Doom”, this was unfortunately Dib, an incompatible match (or maybe it just picked an improper attachment site), and in the comics… things got interesting at a point or two.

So, I already know what happens when you separate an Irken from their spinal brain, but what about the cranial one?

Because, they actually don’t seem on the same level of urgent necessity? Now that I think about it?

The time machine kerfuffle and the brain eating parasite escape were both events this guy evidently survived, albeit not comfortably or ideally until the problem was fixed (I have to assume in part with GIR’s or the Computer’s help). Now that I think about it Zim’s incredibly fortunate that most of these more serious mishaps happened inside of his base. But it’s theory time.

So, we do this, to a hypothetical green bug bastard

For fun let’s say, hypothetically again, like the hardy earth roach, he blood clots quickly.

Well, first and foremost, that higher up nervous system blackout is probably going to cue the PAK in to begin the following protocol:

1. Activate an emergency response to quickly access the situation.

2. Immediately scurry the body the hell away from whatever manner of threat just shaved a little too much off the top, engaging in all possible defensive measures if necessary.

3. Devote the entirety of its remaining backup power (of which it would have much more stored within the headless body than if it were itself detached) into making a beeline for the coordinates of the nearest Irken source of assistance. On the homeworld, or any fully colonized planet, this would be a cut and dry matter of finding the nearest theoretical space clinic or whatever those freaks have (maybe those dbz regeneration tanks? Idk that would be cool wouldn’t it?). For the lone invader… home base is the next best alternative, being a secured location with plenty of resources and advanced technology at the ready. I would bet my own head that situations like this are a huge highlight to the prime value of a personal SIR companion.

Now, best case scenario for what this help looks like depends on whether we can save and bring the head along too. Reattachment and repair at that point should be a pretty simple matter at the tech level we are working with, afterall. But that’s again, the ideal case scenario. Could they just… regrow the head eventually? We don’t really have a clear answer on what the limits and capabilities of what the Irken healing factor is, but I want to at least guess that having a personal lab and assistant on hand is going to help. Bare minimum, a solution can get worked out to supply the body with needed blood sugars again to buy more time.

The PAK itself retains a pretty much perfect digital backup of its body’s memories, experiences, and identity, so it’s not like information has been permanently been lost with primary brain damage. Replacing the primary brain entirely might be as easy as backing up your iPhone and downloading everything into some shiny new hardware. Hell, it may not even need be Irken hardware!

Do you know the real disturbing things from “Dark Harvest” NOBODY brings up are???

Why the fuck was an instantaneous organ-swapping device already just something Zim was carrying around in his toolset?

And

Zim’s morphology was horrifically receptive to those dozens of xenographs.

Those human organs were actually beating, pulsing, absolutely redundant and unnecessary in his body, but completely still functional and healthy in the name of selling his act to the school nurse. He didn’t just clumsily cram a bunch of offal into himself, he competently integrated them into his biology and somehow wasn’t suffering like… the tons of complications you’d expect from trying a stunt like that.

And in the comics, there’s this other fella I just adore for how skrangly he looks, and believe it or not, his actual fucking name is Skrang.

He’s a smart guy, though. Don’t be fooled. And I mean like, a smart guy. And it’s all thanks to a little help from a little upgrade he’s been fitted with :)

So, I hope you take all the implications I’ve been building here and make what you will of them. I genuinely think an Irken has a decent chance of making it out of a beheading alive to seek sadistic vengeance another day. Do I think ZIM could do such a thing? Tbh, I think he’d have to rely on GIR to come in clutch, and we may know that’s a complete roll of the dice in any case.

Wow, this got morbid, but, par for the course really.

[multigenderswag]

Multigender Survey Results Dec 2023: Anything else relevant

Participants were asked "Share anything else about your multigender identity that you find relevant" and had the option to respond with long answer text. Some notable responses include:

As a m+f bigender person who uses he/she pronouns, I sometimes feel like the "he" refers to my female side, and the "she" refers to my male side

I am no longer religious/Christian, but the expression “God is Change” resonates deeply with me and my approach to gender as experience. I accept that my gender (holistically) is an amalgamation, something that breathes new life into itself repeatedly and often unexpectedly, sustained by its own willingness to grow past its bounds and taste richness anew. Teaching is part of my work, and as such I consider myself an eternal student: gender is just one avenue for discovery and learning for me.

I feel so boring but it is what it is, name wise I use one (completely feminine) with group A and one (completely masculine) with group B and hope and pray that they never interact

I identified as a 'tomboy' (gender wise) as a child and transmasc as a teenager. As an adult part of my being multigender is honouring these past versions of myself and acknowledging that who I was is an important part of who I am today.

I like to describe my gender like this: imagine there’s a house on a street. the house represents being a boy/male, and being *in* the house means you’re binary male. The road represents a neutral, non-male/female gender. My gender is like the driveway — both part of the road *and* the house

i think this is relevant-ish, but the way i experience gender kind of feels like. there's a man and a woman in my head at all times, not in a system way so much as a (this is very obviously stupid but i can't find another comparison to articulate it) inside out way. they're both always there, and they're both separate, but at the same time, they come together to make the same person, me! nonbinary is a label i understand and identify with, mostly to simplify the matter for others, but in reality, it kind of feels like a... superbinary of sorts. i'm 100% a man, and 100% a woman, but because the binary only "allows" you to choose one, nonbinary is technically correct, isn't it?

I'm multigender in the "one gender that fits into several categories" way than being multigender in a "has multiple genders" way

My gender is the intersection of butch dyke and trans man. I'm questioning things right now, but I'm somewhere in that region, with a foot in both at once. I've always been drawn to butchness and sapphicism as well as transmasculinity. I think most of my journey to understand my gender has been a balancing act between identifying as enough of a guy to feel comfortable in my skin but non-binary enough to not have to abandon my identity with butchness. Recently I've adopted the label multigender, and it's helped a lot. I'm only even a little bit a girl if I can be a boy first and foremost, and I could be just a boy or just a dyke but I would have to kill part of myself to do so. I'm trying to find a way to exist in my gender without blood on my hands. I think I'm getting there. It's hard but I'm getting there.

It is complicated but I love it

Yay I love multi gender people we are so cool. <3

A number of participants also referenced being autistic and how that has influenced their multigender identity, so it is possible that autism may be included as a question on the next survey.

[stuffforthestash]

Modern Academic AU pt3

All this because I couldn't stop thinking about what kinds of classes Professor Raphael would teach... He's laughing up at me from hell, I just know it.

part 1 and part 2

------------------------------

Kagha (by request!) - Environmental Science. Will only teach courses about political lobbying and activism. She's also a militant vegan and active member of PETA, and won't shut up about it.

Dammon - College of Engineering. Teaches "Advanced Manufacturing Processes" and "Finite Element Analysis", and runs the machining shop. Also teaches a metal sculpture class when there's room in the Art School's budget. He's one of the faculty liaisons for several LGBTQA+ orgs on campus as well, and is completely oblivious to the fact he has a fan club (which is for the best, really)

Zevlor - Campus Security. A retired Green Beret who refuses to talk about his time in the service, he's well liked by most faculty and known to be a bit of an old school charmer. LOTS of rumors and speculation about what kind of injury got him discharged, and how he got it.

Barcus - College of Engineering. He teaches classes on Thermodynamics and Process Design & Safety. Has no idea how popular and well-liked he is by both students and staff.

Wulbren - Chemical Engineering Dep't Chair. He's brilliant, but also an asshole, and is constantly trying to weasel more grant money for his research into ethically questionable chemical compound modifications. Also makes his TAs teach all his classes for him.

Lorroakan - English Dep't Chair. Thinks he's hot shit for it but really no one else wanted the job. He makes his TAs teach all his classes AND do all his admin work, so he can spend all his time (and the department's money) on schmoozing with alumni and donors.

Blurg - Environmental Science. Isn't that great of a teacher but it's required for keeping the research grants coming in. Thankfully his passion and enthusiasm for topics like Sustainability in Agriculture make up for his shortcomings.

Omeluum - They're actually Bluurg's research partner and not technically a member of faculty, though they also act as his unofficial TA because otherwise Bluurg's course work interferes with their research timelines.

Nine-Fingers Keene (by request) - School of Business. Her classes are all advanced level and titled things like "Gaining The Competitive Edge". She also runs an entrepreneurial outreach program for young women seeking to start their own businesses.

Dame Aylin - VP of Diversity and Inclusion. She's very passionate about her job and a VERY vocal advocate for social justice issues like inclusivity, diversity, and accessibility. Completely incapable of keeping her personal life separate from her professional one, as she's a devout believer in leading by example.

Isobel - School RN. Is fiercely protective of students right to medical privacy and access to judgment free care, but is much better known on campus for being Dame Aylin's wife.

The Emperor - Board of Trustees. Outwardly just an ordinary Trustee, generally pleasant to interact with and actually rather good at rubbing elbows with students, faculty, and admin alike. There's just something off about them, enough that they've had multiple audits and inquests over the years despite nobody ever being able to find any actual signs of misconduct.

------------------------------

Sorry this set took a bit longer to figure out. A bunch of these characters were a real challenge to fit into roles that actually exist in reality, and I had to do a bit of research to find out wtf kinds of classes or departments certain fields of study even have. Ah, the things we do for the blorbos, amirite?

[lillaydee]

Tingled Part 17

Francisco 'Catfish' Morales / Reader

Joel Miller (No Outbreak) / Reader

Starting fresh in the big city, you were still questioning your worth after the way you were treated by your ex and his daughter, desperately trying to leave thoughts of them behind. But something about the new man you ran into made that almost impossible.

WARNINGS: Joel Has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (The Last of Us), Hurt Joel (The Last of Us), Joel is Bad at Feelings (The Last of Us), Joel is a Fucking Idiot, Sweet Francisco "Catfish" Morales, Soft Francisco "Catfish" Morales, Hurt Francisco "Catfish" Morales, Francisco "Catfish" Morales Has PTSD, Fluff and Angst, Past Drug Addiction, Healing, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Alternate Universe - No Cordyceps Outbreak (The Last of Us)

SERIES MASTERLIST

Part 16

Well, technically, you didn’t lie. You did go home Saturday.

Okay, it was to get more clothes, but the point was, you did go back home. Full stop.

I mean, you couldn’t repeat the same five sets of clothes two weeks in a row, right? You had to get another set. Duh!

It’s not that you didn’t want to go home. You did, of course you did.

But Frankie’s place was so much nearer to work. You get to sleep an extra hour and still have time for a leisurely breakfast before going to work. And you didn’t have to press up against strangers on the train. Or rush in the mornings.

Also, Frankie’s place had Frankie. Your place didn’t.

He woke you up with his face between your legs that Monday morning. Made you breakfast (okay, it was Eggos, but it’s the thought that counted, okay?) and walked you to the café to get you your coffee before walking you to work. He picked you up later that evening, and you walked into his kitchen to the newer model of your espresso machine on the counter, your favourite beans and milk in his fridge. He sheepishly told you that it was a bribe so you could stay longer in the mornings.

Wednesday came and his furniture was finally delivered. You and the girls spent that night ‘helping’ him put them together by having a few drinks in the kitchen, while the men did the actual work. You spent Thursday night helping him unpack his duffels – finally extracted from the spare room, strewn on the floor among several boxes of old books, old family pictures and vinyl, still secured in their boxes ever since he moved in. You placed your suitcase next to the chest drawer, but he opened them, and unpacked the contents into the other closet and chest drawer. The set that was left vacated after his clothes had been unpacked. The one on the opposite side of his, the one mirroring his side. He placed the book you brought and lotion on the nightstand on your side of the bed. You had a side in his room. Your toothbrush sat beside his in its holder, your facial stuff on the counter, your shampoo and bodywash next to his in the shower. The left stool under the countertop, the second chair on his dining table, the left side of the sofa were yours too. You had a side everywhere at his place.

After he was done placing your panties in the drawer separator compartment thing, he went to the spare room and came back out with a Ziploc bag, your missing underwear in it, casually unzipping it, and tossing the material in the laundry basket.

“I guess I don’t need these anymore,” he said unashamedly, as you stared at him with your hands on your mouth. “What? I thought you were going home that Saturday, so I preserved it, just in case I needed… inspiration for manual relief before you came back. But you stayed, so…”

You smacked him on his chest, calling him a pervert, hating the fact that you couldn’t get the amused smile out of your face as you did. He smirked at you, coming in for a hug, but you were determined to be mad at him for doing such a debauched, depraved, unthinkable perversion, you tried to worm your way out, only to surrender the moment he buried his face in the crook of your neck.

On Friday, as you laid in bed with him, cursing the fact that the weekdays had gone by so fast, he pointed at the closets and told you he could just put up a wall there so you could have a walk-in closet. He knew you liked them. You looked at him and saw the sad puppy-dog look he had on his face, upset that you had to go home the next day. Another bribe, to make you stay longer.

“You want to come home with me and spend the weekend at my place?”

“Yes please,” he said, before kissing you breathless.

**********

That weekend, you and Frankie took your mother and Henry out for brunch. He had stayed over the whole week, as predicted. He stayed over the weekend too. Frankie somehow managed to coax you into bringing an empty suitcase home, leave your clothes here, please? Then you’d always have something to change into. And if, God forbid, someone accidentally threw a cup of coffee at you, you could just run over, shower and change. Wasn’t that a brilliant idea? You had planned to sleep over at his place Sunday, since you had an early morning meeting on Monday. Good thing you had clothes at his place, wasn’t it? Maybe take a few more clothes with you when you go, he had suggested, for variety? You had just worn those clothes you left behind this past week, surely you should bring something new?

Come Sunday, Frankie hauled the formerly empty suitcase you had brought home into his truck, freshly filled with more clothes. He, in turn, brought an empty backpack home, leaving the freshly laundered T-shirt and flannel he had worn the day before, along with a pair of sleep pants and boxers in your closet. The spare toothbrush you had given him sat in a glass container with yours on your bathroom counter, his travel sized toiletries in the bathroom drawer.  

That Sunday night, as you were drifting off to sleep in his arms, you were somehow conscious enough to properly hear the Spanish phrases he had whispered to you, the ones he only said to you every single night since you first spent the night when he thought you had fallen asleep.

Buenos noches mi amor. Te amo mucho.

You only spoke bad high-school Spanish. But even you understood that. You turned, startling him, a slight panicked look in his eyes that you heard him, and told him you loved him too.

You were almost an hour late for work the next day despite being a fifteen walking minutes away from work, and you didn’t even care. You made up for it by staying back an hour, Frankie keeping you company, accepting the part he played in the whole matter. Somehow, it became really important for you to stay the week as well.

By Friday, he had an extra set of keys and security fob to the building made for you.

This thing with the empty suitcase went on for weeks. Go home Saturday with an empty suitcase, come back to the city Sunday with a full one. Until the day came that you realized all that was left in your closet was a couple of T-shirts and a pair of jeans, some PJs, a few changes of underwear and a travel version of your toiletries, as well as the same of Frankie’s.

But if your mother asked, you were still living at home, just staying at Frankie’s on weekdays. You hadn’t moved in with him or anything. That was just silly. You would never move in with someone so soon. After Joel, you needed to be careful, you’d like to think you had learnt your lesson after all.

Frankie started furnishing his place over those few weeks. The guys helped him put up a wall for your-er-his walk-in closet. You helped him pick out his furniture, made sure his kitchen was equipped for cooking his favourite dishes. He even turned his now cleared and unpacked spare bedroom into an office for you to work from, or if you had to have zoom meetings with people from different time zones, a daybed conveniently placed next to the desk he got for the office, so that he could keep you company when you had to work late.

The men took turns hosting each other, spending as much time as they could outside of work together. In the few weeks you stayed there, you noticed that the men never all worked for the same job at once. At least one of them would normally stay behind, and since Frankie was so fresh out of getting his year chip, it was usually him. He would make sure the ladies were alright, constantly checking in on them when their men were off working, making sure their clients were safe and secure. The other three did the same when Frankie was on duty.

You saw the dynamics the four men and the ladies had with each other. When Santi and Yovanna moved in, everyone lent a hand, and now, yourself included. Needed something built? Lifted? Cleaned? Just order the pizza and beer, we’ll be there. There was a closeness, a willingness to just help each other out that went without saying with these guys. They dropped everything to help each other. No questions asked. And even before you and Frankie were a couple, when you were injured, they didn’t hesitate. They just helped. They were there.

And the ladies, well, let’s just say you had sisters now. They were so excited for you and Frankie, adding you to the group chat as soon as no one heard from the two of you all weekend after that first date. When you went back to work the Monday after, they started called you Mrs Fish, which finally prompted you to ask them what that was all about. Apparently, it’s short for Catfish. But they didn’t know why. The guys never gave them a straight answer, said it was something about him being able to hold his breath for a long time underwater? Or cats? Maybe his scruff? They didn’t know. And frankly, you didn’t care.

You didn’t. Really.

At about the one-month mark of dating you finally couldn’t hold it in anymore. You asked him. Why Catfish?

Well, he said, a smirk on his face, I like cats, and I can hold my breath a long time. You didn’t buy it. This was a name his army brothers gave him. It’s a callsign. They referred to each other with these names, Catfish, Ironhead, Pope, Redfly, and well… Benny. It can’t possibly be because of his love of cats or the ability to hold his breath.

He’ll show you, he said. Okay, you sat up on the bed, excited to see the origin of this name. He got up, faced you on the bed, bent down, and pulled your legs over the edge, ripping your sleep shorts off.

Wait, what are you…

Oh. Oh…

Okay, okay, good name… good name… uhuh, uhuh, just like that… oh my God such a good… fuck, right there… yes… yes… yes… oh, what a great name.

**********

Two months into dating, your mother asked if you could have lunch with her. Just the two of you. Oh, shit, you thought. This was it. You were going to get chewed on for the fact that you hadn’t exactly lived at home in two months. She’s going to tell you that you were moving too fast.

Frankie drove you over, picked up your mother and dropped the two of you at an Italian place. She was very quiet, even Frankie noticed. He had gone to Anna’s, trying hard to get information from her, but that woman was as silent as a grave when it came to your mother.

After ordering, you decided the tension was too palpable. She was too quiet. For the first time in a long time, since you decided to cut the flowers off her favourite dress for your art homework, you were terrified of mommy. Shit, was mid-30s too old to be beaten with a broomstick? It was, right? She wouldn’t, right?

“Look, mom, I know I haven’t been…”

“Henry and I are getting married.”

Your mouth turned into an O, your eyes wide, your expression frozen.

It turned out, the reason your mother hadn’t noticed you had practically moved out was that Henry had practically moved in. While you and Frankie were busy smuggling your clothes out, Henry was busy smuggling his in.

You were frozen for quite a while.

“Sweetie, I know what you’re thinking. Are we moving too fast? Maybe. But we are not getting any younger, and we have been alone for so long. He’s really good to me, sweetie, and he makes me so happy. Before him, I never thought I would ever feel this way about anyone. I gave up on love when your dad left, sweetie. I didn’t trust anyone. Busied myself with work, you, Sarah, the garden, I just didn’t want to risk it. But with Henry… it just felt right. I feel like I’ve known him forever. We just clicked. We gel. We just got along as if we’ve been together forever. It feels like… like… like…”

“You were made for each other.”

Both of you had tears in your eyes, happy tears. She nodded.

“You and Frankie?”

You nodded. You got up and sat next to her, hugging her with all your might.

Your mother had met her love and was getting married.

And at warp speed, it turned out. In two weeks, Henry’s children were coming to town for a visit. They wanted to do it then. Might as well. You didn’t know what to say, but you knew you were not against it. Henry had proven to be a great guy, and you had never seen your mother smile so much.

**********

And just like that, two weeks later, you were walking your mother down the makeshift isle in the garden behind Henry’s restaurant, where her future husband was waiting, eyes wet from seeing his new bride looking so beautiful in a simple cream-coloured knee length satin and lace dress, his children by his side. Anna officiated the union. As you stood next to your mother holding her simple bouquet of flowers, you couldn’t stop crying. She deserved this. She devoted her life to her husband, only for him to dump her for a younger model. She took job upon job to make sure you were fed, cleaned, educated and clothed. Her social life consisted of you, work, and the block parties at your old neighbourhood. She was always there for you, but never hovered. She was the calm presence in your life that you knew would do anything to make you happy. All these years, you had dreamt of the day for her to be this happy to come, and now, it’s here. The joy you felt in your heart for her was indescribable. She looked so calm, so at peace, so happy, your heart warmed up at the sight of it all.

When the time came for the groom to kiss his new bride, you were practically weeping, angrily wiping the tears away to not steal attention from the bride. A warm hand wrapped around your waist, a handkerchief gently wiped the tears off your face, and a pair of very familiar lips grazed your temple with a loving kiss.

You were so thankful for Frankie. He had been extremely helpful during the wedding preparations, taking your mother dress shopping, patiently waiting as you, the girls and Anna made him stand in as the groom for ‘full effect’ and showed him dress after dress for his ‘manpinion’. He even went to the jewellers with her to get her old wedding band turned into something else, while picking up new ones for her and Henry.

As you danced with your boyfriend of a little over two months, you felt the life you and your mother led back in the old town fade away. You were here, in his arms, him looking all dapper in his suit. You loved each other, you had each other, and that was all that mattered. You had been absent from yourself in your past life, even more so after Joel did what he did. You went through life not really feeling, numbed to everything that was going on around you, around everything that was done to you, your heart feeling so empty and cold. But ever since you met Frankie, you started feeling something slowly spreading through your body. Like the first pulse of sensation after you had sat on a part of your body for too long. A tingling, of sorts.

You were not numb anymore.

And now, that initial small tingle had grown, spreading to other parts of your body, like pleasant tiny little pinpricks under your skin, giving you goosebumps, moving your blood along, slowly rewarming your heart. You were happy. In love. Loved. You couldn’t possibly imagine how you could be any happier.

**********

That was until a week later. You were at Frankie’s, well, yours too now, since Henry had taken over the lease at the house you had formerly lived in. He had gone to the lobby to get the lunch you had ordered, and the delivery was a bit late. You put his freshly laundered clothes away and sat on the bed to fold the tinier pieces of clothing. When it came to his socks, you realized that you had never folded them before – you sort of roll them into each other when it came to your own. But Frankie was a particular and meticulous man. His army training made him so, so the last thing you wanted to do was mess up his ‘system’. You went to his chest drawer and picked a pair of socks he had already folded himself for reference. As you pulled a pair out of its ridiculously neat row, a couple more pairs got pulled out with them, and a box hidden underneath caught your eyes.  

A robin blue ring box.

Your mind was racing. As was your heart. You went back to that time two weeks ago when your mother asked if you wanted her old wedding ring for yourself – she didn’t know what to do with it. You had tried it on then, but it was a bit tight on your right hand. It fit your left ring finger perfectly, but what would be the point of you keeping it? You were not going to wear the wedding ring your runaway dad gave to your mother. So you suggested she had it melted and made into something else.

She went to the jewellery store the next day. With Frankie. And came back with a matching pair of wedding bands for her and Henry. Rings that came in robin blue boxes.

You couldn’t move. You just stood there, the three pairs of socks still in your hand. You didn’t know what to do. You were afraid to touch it. You couldn’t just put the socks back in and pretend you didn’t see it. It was right there, just staring at you in its robin blue gloriousness.

A pair of very familiar hands wrapped around your body, a pair of whiskered lips kissing your neck.

“You found my secret.”

“Frankie, baby? What…”

He took the box out of the drawer, guiding you by the waist to sit on the bed with him, placing the laundry basket on the floor, pushing the unfolded boxers and socks away from you, taking your hands and placing the box in them.

“I had planned to do this at a more romantic, really cheesy setting, actually. Next week, on your birthday, to be exact. I bought this two weeks ago, and two weeks of walking around with this hidden in my sock drawer turned out to be the most difficult mission of my life. So, I hope you don’t mind that I do this here in our bedroom instead, with my boxers and socks at our feet, because if I’m being honest, not knowing your answer is killing me.”

You were still not speaking. You heart was hammering in your ribcage, begging to be let out. His beautiful face was obscured by tears that had already started falling onto your cheeks. He wiped them away with his thumbs, keeping your face in his hands.

“Emma, baby, mi amor, I was intrigued by you the first time I ever met you, you know, that time when you screamed at me and called me Joel?” he smiled when you huffed a small laugh, his own eyes getting wetter. “The second time I met you, despite having coffee all over me, I was so happy. Cause I had been going to that café every day hoping to see you. By the time we had dinner at that café? I was already crushing hard on you. And by the time I woke up the next morning? I knew I was in love with you. I feel like I’ve been waiting for you my whole life, and now that I found you, I don’t want to let go. I’m so in love with you, I don’t want to go back to my life before you. It felt like I wasn’t really living until I met you. Baby, maybe I’m moving at warp speed here, but I know. I know you are it for me. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Heal with you. Grow with you. Have babies with you. Grow old with you.”

Your tears were full on flooding your face by now. His were not cooperating either.

“I want all of that, I want everything with you. But only if you want them with me, too. Baby, if you think this is too soon, I’ll wait and try again later. If you don’t want marriage at all, ever, we’ll resize it and it can be your birthday present, just wear this ring on your other fingers and we’ll carry on as we have been. I just want to be with you. I will take whatever you give me. But baby, if you are willing, if you want me, will you please, please, please, do me the honour of marrying me?”

You were trying. Really, you were trying to answer. But there was a huge lump of emotion in your throat, obstructing your vocal cords. You nodded. Enthusiastically so. A teary, elated smile on your face.

He kissed you, snot and all. He wiped your face with his shirt, placing his forehead on yours.

“Is that a yes, baby?”

You swallowed hard, trying to stop crying long enough to speak. He waited patiently, his forehead still on yours, as you finally managed to squeak out an answer.

“Yes.”

This time, when he kissed you, your whole body tingled.

Epilogue