#Setting myself up for disappointment as I tend to do lol

[herefortheships]

Ok the post I have in my drafts with all my hopes for Beetlejuice 3 is getting pretty long. I might just post it one of these days.

[wombywoo]

Hiii

I'm absolutely in love with all your art, COD community wouldn't be the same without you for sure. And Quinncent.. Quinn is doing something to me with his sad eyes and throat scar

Maybe someone actually asked this: but how do you feel about AUs in particular and drawing your boys or cod(141 ensemble) in different settings, non military, non modern maybe, fantasy, creatures, etc

We were blessed with your fan art for valiants period au and it was soooo good in your realistic style

Have you ever thought "omg I wanna draw them in this situation/these specific outfits/ long hair/different facial hair it would be perfect" and did exactly that but never showed anyone hehe

Asking cuz if I were skilled with creating something decent on paper I would have had a literal chest with hundreds of different sketches

ahhh thanks so much for your kind words! I'm happy to contribute to the cod fandom as well as my own dubious little science-project lol 😚

As for your question--confession time: I really...don't care for AUs that much 😔😔 I consider myself the vanilla-est consumer in this regard, but when I'm into a piece of media, I generally prefer stuff that adheres to the canon universe. This also goes along with fic-reading--I don't really ever read AUs that are so divorced from the source material. I suppose it's because I get into a story/movie/game etc for a reason, so removing all those elements until it's stripped bare feels like something brand new entirely, and thus not what I came for. Idk if that makes sense 🤷‍♀️

That isn't to say I dislike all of it--I do find it fun when I see others interpreting characters in different settings and scenarios, etc. I just don't tend to partake personally~

Broadly speaking, I like to dress up characters a lot, so I suppose that's my preferred AU method, lol. I've done a few cod pieces (lol) like that and they were fun~ I do have a few visions of my OCs in certain outfits (maybe some period clothing eventually 🤫) But for now, I think I like having them as they are 🥰

(breaking: just pictured quinn with long hair and I'm not sure we're ready for that level of comedy quite yet)

(mustache!vincent AU....not off the table...)

(I will also add that turning the characters into animals in any way is most definitely Not My Thang sorry to disappoint :'D) ok bye

[autisticlancemcclain]

I’ve really enjoyed your writing and I was curious to know if you ever experience writers block and how you try to drag yourself out of it? (I’m in need of advice)

thank you!! and i most definitely have omg. only rarely do i actually have, like, ideas for a fic. most of the time the hours are ticking past and i’m like FUCK i don’t have a goddamn thought pinging in my brain rn for tonight’s fic 😭😭 so i deal with writers block several times a week lol. i have a couple strategies for it.

1. this one is more of a future set up thing. over the weeks and months i’ve set up a saved folder where i use social media the most —inst*gram — and every time i see something that either reminds me of the blorbos or i think has story potential (which takes some time to start noticing, don’t worry if it’s slow at first, i used to add to the folder like once or twice a week and now it’s once or twice a day lol), i save it:

sometimes i send the post to a friend with a vague outline of what i’m doing, which looks something like this:

and screenshot that for later. this way i have this folder of ideas and one-offs to turn to when the well has run dry. it doesn’t always work, but it works enough that i think it’s worth the effort.

2. this one is less cool and suave, but when i don’t have any ideas, i try to just…write whatever. i don’t mean, like, write a random story, i just mean write random ass words and see what happens. i tend to work best with dialogue, so i’ll just type out a random sentence and see what happens, see what my brain does without me focusing on it. i’ll walk you through one of those now:

“Don’t.”

there’s a random starting word. just a single word. it could go literally anywhere, from humour to actiony order-barking, but i’m getting a bit of an angsty vibe to this, so i’m just going to pick a character — my beloved — who i’m very used to writing and can picture easily and add a dialogue tag.

“Don’t,” Lance warns.

okay! now we’re getting somewhere farther. now i try to ask myself one or two prodding questions: what does his voice sound like? can i hear him saying this in my head? who’s he saying it to? what emotion is he portraying? i don’t have to actually answer any of the questions, but now i’m thinking, baby steps, and i can get going easier, because i’m actually starting to hear this in my head:

“Don’t,” Lance warns, voice wobbling. “Don’t do this to me.”

from here i just see where i can go. one thing i have to remind myself is that no one is holding me to a standard but me. this can be two words or two hundred. a page or a novel. whatever i come up with. i’ll give it a fair chance, but if it doesn’t go anywhere, that’s okay, i’ll try again later. i try to just get into things and go. i’ll lean into what’s familiar to make things easier on myself:

“Don’t,” Lance warns, voice wobbling. “Don’t do this to me.”

Keith looks away. He has a hard enough time keeping steady with Lance normally, when he’s smiling, smirking, when he puts a hand on Keith’s shoulder and teases him about his hair.

But when he’s looking at Keith like Keith has a choice to make? And he’s making the wrong one?

It’s almost physical, the ache. The pain of knowing he’s hurting someone but doing it anyway.

“I have to,” Keith says quietly. He clutches the strap of the duffel bag hanging over his shoulder, picking uselessly at a loose thread. “I can’t stay here.”

“You can.” Lance’s voice is still weak, shaking, but there’s something steady to it, a resolution. He’s sure he’s right. “You always can. You’ve never had to run.”

Keith says nothing.

“Don’t run away from me, Keith.”

Lance never pleads. He’s too proud. Keith pretends he doesn’t hear the desperation in his voice, for both of their sakes.

“I’ll call,” Keith offers. He looks up as he says it, but he still doesn’t meet Lance’s eyes. He’s afraid to see the hurt that he knows is there, the disappointment. If he doesn’t look he can pretend it’s not.

“No, you won’t.”

He says it like it’s a surety. Space is vast, time expands, and Keith won’t call. Keith is running away, again.

Keith turns around and leaves without another word.

that took me about six minutes. took some thinking, here and there, but it was easier as i kept going. i stuck to what i’m good at, remembered i don’t need any context for this (it’s just an exercise!) and moved forward.

i hope this is helpful! feel free to dm me if you’re still stuck, i’m happy to bounce around ideas :))

[coinandcandle]

Do you have any advice for those who feel like they’re unintentionally falling away from the craft? Like for example I just completely forgot the last full moon that happened and felt so disappointed in myself for not doing anything that night. I usually charge crystals and make moon water at the very least, but I just didn’t think of it. I don’t think I’ve even cast a spell in a month and a half. The last witchy thing I did was set my Yule altar (before putting it all in a glass box because cats lol, but I think that’s part of it because my altar makes me feel so connected to my practice, and with it closed off, it feels weird…) I just don’t know how to get myself back into my practice again and I’m feeling very discouraged. I feel like a bad witch.

Ok hear me out: you don't have to do witchcraft all the time. Your life does not need to revolve around witchcraft for you to be a witch. You're still a witch even if you don't do witchy things all the time.

But I feel you, it's hard when you feel like you're falling away from something you truly enjoy.

For you personally, if your altar makes you feel more connected to your magic then try to interact with your altar more. It may take more effort but setting it up outside of the box and then putting it away when you're done is one way you can interact with your altar without worrying about your cats knocking it over.

Here's what I do if I'm stuck in a witchcraft block.

Have you considered switching it up? Learn something new OR relearn something even if you're proficient at it!

Try writing a spell without worrying about casting it. Just write it down, think about it, and plan it out, but don't pressure yourself to cast it! Without a deadline, you can feel free to take the time you need to make the spell at its top performance.

Talk to your deities/spirits if applicable. Just say hi if you can't think of anything else to say. Hell, ask them if they have any suggestions on reconnecting with your craft!

Make a potion out of tea, coffee, or alcohol if you're of age. Potions are just liquids made with various herbs, spices, liquors, etc that correspond to your intent. It's a spell bottle you can drink, essentially.

Read a witchy book! Specifically, read one that reflects the author's way of practicing magic so you can get a feel for other people's crafts. It's not always beneficial from an academic standpoint to read these kinds of books but we aren't going for academic here! We're going for witchcraft!!! And learning more about others' craft!!!

Those are just a few ideas that I have and the things that I tend to do when I feel disconnected from my craft.

If anyone has any tips or suggestions for anon please pop them into a reblog or comment! <3

[hierophant-reversed]

anons back at you... hypnosis, voyeurism, edging, cucking, d/s, humiliation, praise, feet?

OOOH OK [ask game: send me kinks and i'll rate them 1-10!]

HYPNO: hm i'd say like. usually a 7/10? i don't typically go looking for it but the more i think about it, the more i feel like i could reeeally be into it especially in certain contexts. since i haven't sought it out much, i'm not rlly familiar with common tropes/scenes, but i can see it being very good for me lol

VOYEUR: 10/10. i Do seek this out yeah. it's one of those things for me that's like... in some ways one of my worst fears but also in other ways really hot, y'know? i have a lot of fear/paranoia about like. Getting Found Out in ways that go badly for me (like one of my biggest stress nightmares is a family member walking in on me, and i do NOT like that, and my ocd really latches onto it). but in certain scenes i'm super weak to it. like... the trope of one girl masturbating and another watching secretly or walking in... well. (<- guy who is really normal about allowing herself to experience physical intimacy and voicing desires)

EDGING: 8/10 in concept, 6/10 in practice. i think it's hot to imagine, but when i've tried to do it irl it just ends up kind of disappointing. maybe i'm doing it wrong, maybe it's just my antidepressants, idk. i wish it worked though because i like the idea

CUCKING: another one i don't think about much but has potential. 8/10. i don't think it counts as cucking, but i will say that hyperfocusing on a sims 4 build while your two girlfriends have sex on the bed behind you is a pretty funny experience.

DOM/SUB: (is what i assume this is unless there's another thing this stands for that i wasn't aware of) 9/10. this is one that's so normal to me i forget it's a kink. obv there are varying levels/dynamics in these types of relationships but at least whenever i've had sex, i think it's always sort of in the back of my mind: i tend to base my actions on either a dom or sub role (usually dom because it gives me less room to get self conscious halfway through lol). it's not usually very extreme, but it gives me a role to fill, which gives me a loose script or "character" to play, which keeps me from getting too in my head about it. i'm still working really hard to get more comfortable expressing myself when it comes to sex and what i want/like (hence why i have this blog), and i feel like d/s stuff gives me a framework to examine that through.

HUMILIATION: 7/10-10/10 depending on context. irl it only works coming from my partners in specifically sexual settings; i don't get turned on every time i'm embarrassed in day to day life. in fiction though i like it a lot in all kinds of ways. bonus points if we're tying it in with voyeurism.

PRAISE: ∞/10.

FEET: 3/10. i guess i could see it in some contexts but even then it's not so much about the feet themselves as it is the display of power. no judgement to those who do like em though, and who knows? maybe someday i'll see something that changes my mind

[captainclickycat]

I think I've hit upon one of the reasons I hate the "eldest daughter syndrome" thing so much is because so many of the characteristics people talk about apply to my own mother (who was the youngest girl in her family) so much more than they do to me.

For various reasons my mum grew up feeling like it was her job to take care of other people and was pressured to overachieve and put everyone before herself, her parents played favourites in a weird way, and then had a kid relatively young and wound up spending almost her entire adult life raising children almost singlehandedly which by the sound of it exacerbated that whole thing.

She talks a lot now about growing up feeling like a people-pleaser and having trouble setting boundaries, which definitely comes across and which honestly has caused a lot of strain and frustration when you're on the other side feeling like "it's fine if you can't do the thing but just tell me, stop being all vague and delicate about it and making me feel like I have to psychically divine what's going on" and "I'm not trying to force you into a corner by asking directly for something, you can say no and it's not fair to act like I'm pressuring you just by asking" and blah blah blah. Teach your kids that they can have boundaries, folks. Otherwise it's a whole thing.

Anyway, as a result of that she wound up pretty determined not to put the same kind of pressure or pigeonholing on her own kids. Whilst that kind of terminology might not have factored in, looking back there were a lot of measures put into place to ensure that I was at minimal risk of developing "eldest daughter syndrome". Which I'm inclined to say largely worked.

I don't feel like it's my job to look after other people. I tend to assume other people can look after themselves and they'll ask for my help if they need it. I have an instinctive "lol not my job" response to the idea of impromptu-babysitting other people's kids without being asked. I never felt under any particular pressure to overachieve that my siblings weren't (and the general vibe was "we'd like you to do your best but if you're happy that's the main thing"). I wasn't pressured to put other people before myself any more than the standard "everyone has to do that sometimes".

I won't say I've never struggled to uphold boundaries or felt bad about disappointing people, but it's not a major issue for me in the way it is for some people. If I know I don't have the capacity to do someone a favour I'm pretty comfortable saying "won't be able to fit that in, sorry!" and I don't mind people sometimes finding me a bit rude or standoffish because I don't let them touch me or go along with everything they want. Generally speaking, any personal insecurities and struggles I have tend to come down to some other factor (capitalism, being neurodivergent, not wanting to do things the traditional socially-accepted way, and what have you) than to having grown up as the eldest girl.

But the people who get prescriptive about "eldest daughter syndrome" would basically project my mum's characteristics onto me and then act like it was some indelible rule of nature because I was the eldest and she wasn't. And I feel like it's sort of... failing to give her credit, honestly. Parentifying their kids (eldest daughters or otherwise) is something parents do, not something that "just happens" as a natural occurrence, any more than enforced traditional gender roles "just happen".

I used to feel weird about complaining, because if the bad thing didn't apply to me shouldn't I just count myself lucky and go on my merry way? But idk I think I'm onto something here. The way this gets framed often ends up projecting baggage and personality traits onto people who don't have them, and ignoring those same traits in people who do have them just because they don't fit the template people have in their heads. You have to ask yourself sometimes when you're talking about wider social trends, are you actually critiquing them in a meaningful way, or are you crossing over into reinforcing them?

[deliciouskeys]

Writer Tag

Thank you for tagging me, @kosmochlor and @saintmathieublanc<3

How many works do you have on AO3?

47 apparently.

What's your total AO3 word count?

469,180

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1) Attack on Titan rated T fic, macro micro (it was part of the canon there lol), blind character element

2) Zinc Molybdate (rising star but very far behind #1)

3) Another Attack on Titan fic rated T. Anime fans are all under 18 I guess.

4) Negan/Rick mpreg lol. I abandoned it when TWD season 8 deeply disappointed me and hopefully that doesn't happen again with the current fandom D: (I don't think it will unless they do something truly idiotic like kill off Ryan in an inexplicable way)

5) The Selfish Gene

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes I do. It's the least I can do when someone takes the time to write something. Plus many of the comments are so thoughtful and sometimes helpful to the writing process. And I just enjoy responding.

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

Um. Probably an "original fic" set in the holocaust, unfortunately. I've written fics long ago where main characters die, but those are not angsty somehow, just dark/shock value.

What’s the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

I think it might be Zinc Molybdate lol. First of all it has an ending. And I'd say it's very optimistic about the human spirit and possibilities for change.

Do you write crossovers?

The only true crossover I ever wrote was Alex from a Clockwork Orange x Norman Bates. But I never crossposted it to AO3 from LJ. Can't imagine why XD I'm more of an AU where you recast the characters into a different world girl.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yes, writing bible fic is controversial apparently. Writing holocaust fic is controversial apparently. Mpreg is controversial apparently, although I have never received hate for mpreg on ao3, only on tumblr.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do..... I wouldn't say it's my forte, despite having it in almost every fic and fic chapter lol. I'd say there's always some element of something being 'off'. Normal people having bad sex, or a fucked up pairing having unsettlingly wholesome sex.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't think so. In small enough fandoms some ideas become sort of communal, but that's usually just fun 'sharing'.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

YES! And it's in a language that I'm pretty fluent in (but maybe not fic-writing fluent) so it was a surreal, amazing experience. I've translated several fics from Russian and one from French which was a stretch for me.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Only in terms of translating others' fics. I've always wondered if I'd be able to do it with the right person.

What's your all-time favorite ship?

Butchlander. Which probably means my favorite ship is whatever I'm currently hyperfixating on, but I've been on this kick for like 20 months now, so I don't take these things lightly :)

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

My very first fic, which I started writing at 18 and abandoned at 19 or 20. I couldn't do it, I couldn't give them a happy ending because the pairing was just too messed up, I couldn't give them a sad ending because that's just not within the realm of what I'm willing to do.

What are your writing strengths?

I think I am all about the Emotional Journey, and thus by extension, characterization. I like writing dialogue, so hopefully that's a strength, otherwise the readers get to suffer lol.

What are your writing weaknesses?

I have to remind myself to write even the most basic setting/scenery details. Most of the time I don't think it's very important. I'm probably not a very visual person (although that doesn't mean I don't love art and fanart!). I can write multiple characters outside of the pairing, and those scenes are fun, but I tend to prefer hyperfocusing on just the 2 mains, which is probably a limitation.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Oh god, I did it in a fic, and ... I shall leave it as I wrote it in my 20s, but... it was ill-advised. I'd say don't do it unless it's a language you know, and even then... why.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Uh. Peter Pan. And I don't mean during the Once Upon a Time craze that happened much later.

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

Within the Boys, I'll also say Starlander. I like it, and honestly the canon leaves much to be desired, so it's fertile ground. Fandomwise, I read quite a bit of Batjokes and Symbrock, but never wrote anything for them.

What's your favorite fic you've written?

I'll go with Zinc Molybdate. It's got that new relationship fandom energy that is impossible to just bottle up and deploy when wanted. But I like them all.

Zero pressure tags (and sorry if you've been tagged elsewhere) @phoenixtakaramono @eutz @merry-andrews and anyone who sees this and has ao3!

[citrus-cactus]

fanfic ask game! 1, 3, 22, 55, 77!

Ask game is here!

1). Do you daydream a lot before you write, or go for it as soon as the ideas strike?

I tend to daydream a lot! I think that's a large part of my "outline" process these days: sooooo much thinking before committing anything to paper (which is not the best process, I'll admit! Because sometimes I end up forgetting things ;_;)

It used to be that a lot of my fanfic ideas were born out of pencil and paper sketches while letting my mind wander, which feels similar to the "daydream" process (and then I would brainstorm while drawing!)... but these days I don't do a lot of freeform drawing (;_;) and the brainstorming takes place almost exclusively in my head. Sometimes I'll have snippets and dialogue occur to me that need documentation NOW, so that feels more like a "when the idea strikes" sort of thing... and then when I've collected enough snippets/dialogue and have enough of a general idea where the fic is going to go, that's when I start writing in earnest!

3). Do you share your fic ideas, or do you keep them to yourself?

I tend to keep them to myself. I've been... trying to get better about this... maybe?? That was what last year's fic/WIP summary and the creative check-ins and some of my random, sporadic posts over the past few months have (partially) been about. But now that I look at them... I'm not sure it's clear to anyone but myself what the heck I'm working on?? I would like to get better at this, perhaps?? Summaries are good (lol), but I usually save those for last!

I think, because I publish fics so infrequently (and have WAY more abandoned ideas and WIPs than actual published works!), I default to being pretty secretive about my ideas. Mostly because I don't want to jinx myself with the inability to finish something; if no one knows about it but me, no one can be disappointed!! But also, since I almost exclusively write short one-shots, the element of surprise feels, somehow, important to preserve up until the moment of publishing. I'm not sure how to balance the two wolves inside me ("excited to share" and "SECRETS!!")

22). Do you title your fics before, during, or after the writing process? How do you come up with titles?

Usually during. A lot of my titles seem to crystalize during the daydream/brainstorming process... though again, sometimes I don't want to reveal the title until the fic is further along, in case I end up changing my mind! Sometimes it does take me a little longer to figure it out, but not often. I guess how I come up with them is... I figure out the theme of the story, and think of a way to make it work as a title? ("Rose-Tinted" is my favorite recent example. Because yes, it's about a pair of pink-colored sunglasses, but ultimately it's about looking at a situation through a more optimistic lens!)

Sometimes I'll try to be clever and make the title a literary reference. I've repurposed lines from Sherlock Holmes, Brigadoon (the musical), and, most recently, Sophocles' Antigone. Because whoa boy, do I love themes. And allusions!!!! And parallels!!!!!!

55). Have you noticed any patterns in your fics?  Words/expressions that appear a lot, themes, common settings, etc?

What an interesting question! I think, as generic of an answer as this is, my stories all end up being about love. This takes many forms: romantic (this used to be a huge theme, at least earlier on in my fanfic career!), but also platonic, the "soulmate" bond between human and digimon partners, and also (sometimes) unhealthy expressions of love. Also they can be born from things I personally love, like hats and in-jokes for very small audiences :3

My published fics tend to be either fairly fluffy(/goofy/jokey), or a bit dark. There's very little "neutral" up in here, though I do enjoy writing Emotions(tm).

I do enjoy ending a fic on a good stinger. I love me a juicy... just a teeny-tiny surprise, subversion, twist, or echo, wrapping it all up with an impactful little... pop. Absolutely delightful when it feels like I can pull that off. I live for that.

77). Why do you enjoy writing fanfiction?

I enjoy writing fiction because sometimes I have ideas that feel too large or complex to convey in a single illustration or a short comic. I enjoy writing fanfiction because other people's characters, stories, and ideas have become lodged in my brain and I am (occasionally) compelled to work through my feelings about them in prose XD I love writing (and reading!) things that are having a dialogue with canon, filling in nebulous details, expanding on characterization, having a fun day out with my faves, or otherwise taking some dumb/brilliant/random idea (either mine or someone else's) and running with it to a logical conclusion (by some definition of the word "logical"). My favorite thing to do as both a creator and a fan, whether in art or writing, has always been to tell stories… and I genuinely don't know where I’d be if I wasn't able to do that!

These were fun to think about, thanks for the asks!!!

[cosmicjoke]

alright, well first of all I'd like to say that your characterization of levi in "This Life, After" is one of the best I've read in fanfiction! you've perfectly captured the dichotomy of his unconditional love towards others and his lack of regard towards himself. it's utterly heartbreaking, but I think that's honestly my favorite part about his character, and I rarely get to read fics that portray this well.

that being said, I sometimes do feel as though the fic keeps on hitting the same constant beat, where levi goes through a physically tormenting situation, ends up at the hospital, onyan and the kids worry, levi gets out of the hospital, and rinse and repeat. don't get me wrong, I love me some good angst, but I do think there can be other ways to get him to suffer. an idea may be to get him to suffer by proxy? maybe he suffers as a result of his loved ones suffering (a loved one (onyan maybe) gets hurt, and he blames himself, spirals, etc.) I just think there's so many scenarios that can be explored, and I do think analyzing how levi would react to these different plotlines would be quite interesting.

anywho, enough yapping from me. thank you so much for writing this fanfiction!

Thank you for the kind words, truly. That means a lot to me.

I'll admit, I'm a sucker for angst, and I often get caught up in that aspect of my writing. So I think you have a legitimate point that I tend to sort of get stuck in traction with the ebb and flow of Levi's struggle in my story.

That said, I also feel like it's sort of justified, because the story is largely dealing with Levi suffering from multiple mental illnesses, and mental illness is, by nature, cyclical and repetitive. Levi in my story is suffering from pretty severe depression, anxiety, PTSD and a whole host of other mental issues, on top of his physical disabilities, and he's not really going to just magically get better or recover from that. Each of his issues is basically compounding the other and making it worse, and he has a lot of unresolved trauma and other problems that are, after a lifetime of having to ignore them in order to survive and keep others alive, beginning to really crash down on him and manifest in awful ways.

So yeah, he ends up in the hospital a lot in my story, and it's a recurring problem. You may be disappointed to know it's going to happen again relatively soon, but it's vital to Levi's overall recovery and addressing some of the issues he has correctly, so I can't really change that.

A lot of it also comes from Levi's selflessness and how that selflessness, while in canon always extremely commendable and admirable, in the setting of my story, given Levi's condition, ends up causing himself and others actual harm. He ends up causing the people who love him a lot of grief and suffering by NOT caring for himself, basically, unintentional as it is. So I feel like the other characters do suffer, and Levi is learning that sometimes it's okay to be selfish and that it can actually be better for the people around him to be so once in a while. It's basically meant as a journey for Levi learning to care more about himself, and the focus of the story is Levi and his trauma and learning to live with it in a world where, instead of being forced to push it down and ignore it, he's instead forced to confront and deal with it. Essentially, it's about watching Levi heal, and all the awful pangs of that process.

That's how I justify it to myself, anyway, lol.

Also, at this point where I'm at in the story now, Levi is really at his lowest, mentally and physically, and I feel like suddenly shifting focus to another character and their personal problems would distract from Levi and what he's going through. Other characters ARE suffering. Onyankopon is dealing with a lot of feelings of guilt and isolation, being Levi's main caretaker and having to navigate a lot of issues with Levi that he's never had to before. There's a lot of pressure on Onyankopon, and that's going to come out and cause issues in some upcoming chapters. Things aren't going to remain so easy for him and Levi, or so smooth in terms of their relationship. Levi's too sick right now in the story to really be expected to deal with or be aware of the way Onyankopon, or any of the kids, are struggling, and Onyankopon is also purposefully hiding his own struggles from Levi, because he knows it wouldn't be fair to him to put that pressure on him when Levi is barely keeping his head above water as is. But for sure, I could use more sections really showing that struggle and the impact Levi's issues are having on everyone else, too.

There's also a section of the story that I'm working on right now in which one of the other characters ends up struggling with a lot of guilt and fear over something, and ends up getting hurt as a result, and we see how that really negatively impacts Levi and causes some big issues for him. That section isn't going to come up for a while, though.

It's definitely not going to be everyone's cup of tea, and that's fine. Like I said, I do have a tendency to get caught up in the drama of it all. But I'll definitely try getting some other scenarios in there with the other characters going through their own issues and seeing how that impacts Levi.

[murphallo]

Your thoughts on Chenford and their relationship moving forward?

Thoughts on 5.13?

i’m having a bad time lol

i’ve been ranting and raving about this in detail for the better part of two months so i’ll try to keep this to bulletpoints. i think the way they got together was rushed (yes, rushed), poorly written, and i think they cut the burn off before the part a LOT of people waited so long for (angst, pining, arc, plot whatsoever) i think it was a bonkers decision to get such a well set up ship together in the midseason bc they were just like “eh fuck it here is good” and i have no beef with people who are satisfied with how it went down but i think when people who are disappointed express their gripes on their own damn account, people tend to purposely misunderstand. examples include “how can chenford be rushed if they took 4.5 seasons to get together?” to which i’d answer a. we are not saying chenford is rushed we’re saying the way they got together was rushed. b. it’s funny to me how people think that investing years of time and effort and heart to a ship should make us LESS invested in how they get together. c. bruh i’m asking myself the same question it’s actually kinda impressive that they managed to rush a ship after that long.

as for the story going forward, i’ve kinda lost hope in 5b at least. it’s beautiful to see them so enamored with each other and i will watch the scenes and smile at them bc they are adorable in a vacuum but as for the big picture, i find the writing overall to be quite dumb lately. i find it dumb that their biggest boundary to being together was work and they solved that in one episode in the most boring way they could muster. i find it dumb that it seems like we did not get to see the team find out they’re together. i find it dumb that we were given no reason for them “taking it slow” and then giving in after a couple weeks even though that pre sex makeout was hot as hell ngl (see what i mean?? in a vacuum!!) i find many many things dumb and weird and even though the scenes give me buzz, chenford used to have chem and story for me and tho the chem remains higher than it’s ever been, the story has, in my opinion, been shot in the face.

last week with the work thing was kinda my last straw so i am taking a break from the rookie and watching the chenford scenes on twitter bc i was getting way way too hateful watching week to week. i’d rather be a positive presence in a fandom im in so i don’t go out of my way to stare my displeasure publicly, i only do to reach out to other people who feel the way i do and want to vent bc nothing starts internet friendships like a good bitching session. i do feel like because the relationship is hitting the gas like this, we might??? be on our way to the other shoe dropping and me personally………. my prayer is a breakup lol i’m hoping they break up and then we’re actually given some proper angst and pining (even though i think we should’ve gotten that BEFORE they went canon but what do i know) now… i don’t know what they would break up over with the work issue out of the way and it would probably be something, say it with me, DUMB, but i would be willing to consider tuning in again if my trust miraculously grew back lol so YEAH those are my thoughts.

if you’re happy with how they got together, i truly honestly do not care and i’m happy you’re satisfied lol at a certain point it all comes down to personal preference, and for me personally, it feels like they went out of their way to miss every box on my checklist which is a bummer bc i used to love literally every scene interaction and bit of writing between them and now… not so much. i still love them, and i love the first four seasons, i just think the writing took a huge ass stumble at the literal worst time possible. but it would take a stronger person than i to turn my nose up at gifs of the 5x12 makeout so if absolutely nothing else, at least i’ll always have that 🤡🤡

[cinnamontails-ff]

Pink and brown for the ask game! 😊

Aww thank you for the ask!

Going to tag @larvasmoon and @pickel182 since they also submitted pink - Do I find certain characters easier or more difficult to write?

This is a very fandom-specific question for me because in my original work, the answer is No. I only create characters I am interested in following. Fandom, however, comes with its own set of characters that are outside of my control and I really struggle with the ones that I do not care about. Not to say I don't like them, necessarily, but I just do not have anything to say about them. I love writing Cazador because even though he is a piece of shit, I am interested in his shenanigans and enjoy exploring them in my work. There's a reason why Gale, Lae'zel and Karlach tend to be very prominent in my fics, while other characters are pushed to the sidelines. There's also a reason why Halsin has never been featured in any of my work. I want my stories to be full of vibrant characters that all contribute to the plot in their own ways. If I can't do that, I'd rather leave them out altogether.

I answered brown for Accountant's Guide over here, so as for MA: I decided to write it because I'd built up a shit ton of head canon regarding Astarion's Magistrate Days while playing the game. Maybe this is due to the fact that I grew up watching anime, but I love me a good backstory. I love digging into what made a character who they are. When Larian decided not to focus on his magistrate days, I was disappointed, but kept telling myself that there'd be a fic some day. A proper longfic that would really flesh out his relationship with Cazador and the Gur and his family, honing in on themes of morality and justice in a way that just doesn't feel fair with canon Astarion.

Three months after game release, there was still nothing in sight, so I rolled up my sleeves and went to work! We as a fandom deserve a Magistrate Astarion longfic. Also yes, I wanted to write the kinky courtroom smut, but me being me, there also had to be a whole lot of plot around it lol

Thanks again for submitting your asks! Honestly, two minutes after reblogging the post, I was certain no one would ask anything, so thank you for saving me from that ❤

[pinkytoothlesso11]

20 questions for fic writers

I was tagged by @niemalsetwas! Thank you! This is a long one, but very interesting well rounded questions for fic writers. I'll tag: @whitherwanderyouspirit, @toodrasticallydumb, @nickelwick, @bluedaddysgirl, @megan0013 and @rosemaidenvixen. Not obligated to do this, just thought it may be fun!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Currently 16! 13 of which are all Trollhunters lmao.

2. What's your total A03 word count?

542,419 words. Wow. That's a little crazy ngl.

3. What fandom's do you write for?

Mostly Trollhunters/Tales of arcadia. But I've written a oneshot for She-Ra and the Princesses of Power and one for Scrooge: A Christmas Carol (2022). And I've done a multichapter fic for Arcane: League of Legends. Probably going to do more fics for that eventually. And I have two planned for The owl house I'm really excited about!

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Challenging Destiny

Heal what has been lost

A change in a moment

Heart of Stone

After the moon rises

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do! In my first fic I was hesitant to the first couple of chapters, but now I make a effort as I know how awesome it is to get a reply from the author on fics I've left comments on myself. And also because sometimes I have wonderful conversations!

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

This is a bit hard to pin down, because while a decent amount of my fics go really, really angsty, they tend to end on a slightly hopeful note. But I'd think it's either Through the Veil which while the actual end is rather uplifting, it's overshadowed by the torment all the characters have gone through or chapter 4 of my prompt collection for Stricklake month: corruption. Which is... Sad.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Hmm well my main fics are not finished so I can't put any of them down... Er most of them end happily? I guess for the top one A change in a moment, since I also barely killed any characters in the end...

8. Do you get hate on fics?

No. Very thankfully.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Anything explicit? No. I've tentively suggested it, but not in any detail.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I have not yet. One of my aforementioned Owl house fics I have planned will be a crossover, with Trollhunters, but nothing crazy.

Unless we're talking about the Arcane/Disney Tangled crossover, but that's a soft crossover, with a wholly Arcane cast of characters.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nope. At least not that I'm aware of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Again, not to my knowledge.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No... It was going to happen at some point, but then it didn't. Which was fair, even if disappointing.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

It's Stricklake. I have loads more I like a lot, but that's the one that made me start writing fanfiction.

15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

This isn't really applicable, I plan to finish every fic I start, but there's one that's taking longer than I like to complete, which is Heart of Stone. It's close to the finish line, I just need to push myself there.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I like to think I'm pretty good at creating snappy dialogue with plenty of banter. And that my worldbuilding is pretty damn good. Also that I'm able to consistently keep a large cast of characters IN character and balance them all. I'm also fairly good at descriptions and gore.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I think sometimes I struggle with pacing, and the flow of my writing can be clunky at times. I also find filler chapters less interesting to write, even if they're important to set later things up.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I do end up doing this at one point or another in most of my fics! I use Google translate lol. I'm not ashamed. I also use italics if it's not English, with the translation in my notes at the end.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Trollhunters! The first show to get me into fandom, and fanfic and tumblr! It was the first in a lot of things.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

Has to be Challenging Destiny! It's just about halfway, but the reception to it and it's faithfulness to the source, as well as the heaps of research and worldbuilding I've put into it has made it the fic I'm the most proud of. It's got a big cast of different characters to balance, which just adds to the challenge lol. But it's worth it.

[mamamittens]

Hi hi! It's me! So I heard about your date night. Was hoping I could make a request. If it's not too much trouble, could I get a chocolate toffee... candy corn with.... an alcohol. A shot of hot damn and Pink shnapps for Portgas D. Ace and a shot of White Russian for myself. I'm F! With short dark brown hair, brown eyes, and semi-tan skin, I prefer to dress in Lolita (I don't currently have the money but if I could do Lolita in the date night I would appreciate it). I'd really like to go by Astra. I'm pretty chill but I enjoy light teasing banter, when I'm nervous I tend to laugh slightly and fidget, I also have a tendency to be kind of flirty, sometimes without meaning to which then sometimes makes me nervous cause I'm afraid of their reaction.

P.s. no pressure but if possible could you post it on the 12th? That's my birthday. You don't have to, just, you know, if you’re not overwhelmed or anything. I turn 32!

Happy birthday! Hopefully it’s actually the 12th for you too, lol.

Hope you have fun on your date~

Date Night Event!

Warnings: One sided enemies to lovers (Ace still has issues about himself even in a modern AU), lap ride, praise kink (pretty boy and pretty baby used most often), submissive Ace, couch sex, and creampie.

Word Count: 2,594

There was something to be said about taking bets he could ill-afford to lose.

Ace scowled at the little white house from atop his motorcycle. He didn’t want to do this at all. He had no idea why his brother thought this was a good idea—no actually, he knew that Sabo thought it would be funny. Hardly a good idea though. From day one Astra and himself have had an… interesting relationship. He thought she was kind of cute at first. Lacy dresses and pretty ribbons like a doll.

But Ace felt like a damn grease monkey next to her every time she came around. His hands felt perpetually dirty compared to her and the faux-sheepish way she acted let him know that she knew it too. Every insult was paid in turn with a sly smile that only riled him up more. The flirts were the worst of it though, cause he knew she didn’t mean a damn thing by it—and his heart raced every time anyway.

Supposedly, this little ‘date’ would help break the tension. Sabo liked his little friend and wanted his brother to like her too. But Ace couldn’t help but bare his teeth and grimace every time she came up in casual conversation. How Sabo got Astra to agree to any date, let alone at her house with just the two of them, Ace had no fucking idea.

But… he was here now. And he knew Astra had heard him, her blinds moving slightly as he pulled up. If he turned tail and ran now, he’d never hear the end of it.

Ace dismounted his bike, pocketing the keys as he reflexively wiped his hands on his nice jeans. Well, the nicest pair he owned. Only a little bit of an oil stain on the hem. He still grimaced when he went to knock on the door. His tan skin looked dirty compared to the clean, white paint. He half expected to leave a smudge and was only a little disappointed that he didn’t. It would serve her right to have a bit of dirt rubbed on the picturesque image of her home.

The door opened, Astra greeting him with a smile. Pale blue sweater lined with lace draped over her frame.

“Hey there, glad you could make it!” She lied, stepping aside to let him in. Ace huffed, the soft scent of clean laundry and something floral wafting over him. “Feel free to pick a movie while I get the takeout menus. I wasn’t sure what you’d like so I haven’t ordered anything yet.” Astra explained, as though she didn’t know that he would eat just about anything put in front of him.

Huffing, Ace set down his helmet and looked at the bookcase with a wide array of movies. He skipped over the romance titles, as well as the dramas and horror series. He’d rather distract himself with an action movie than risk giving the wrong impression that he was here for anything other than a favor to his brother. He ended up picking a half-decent action-adventure flick about some sort of treasure hunter. The obligatory advertisements before the main menu had started playing before Astra came in with a bundle of takeout menus.

Ace wordlessly accepted the bundle and leafed through them. There was a pretty good variety and it actually kind of surprised him. He sort of thought she’d be the type to cook, pretty well-made meals that would make him feel like he was in a commercial. But no. As it turns out, Astra was a bit more like the average mortal than he assumed. Sure, there were several healthy food options, but her cute face could hardly be sustained on just greasy takeout alone.

He pulled out a Chinese restaurant menu and slapped it down onto the coffee table.

“This sounds good.” Astra hummed, picking it up and looking over it.

“Good pick! They always give me extra dumplings when I order, so they’re not stingy at all.” Astra grinned, pulling out her phone to order after Ace gave her his request. “They’ll be about twenty minutes!”

Astra turned off the light and started the movie, flopping down onto the couch with Ace as the cinematic score started up. Ace sat there, stiff as a board. Viscerally aware that he could feel her body heat near him. Light perfume tickled his nose as he tried to not think about it. He failed, obviously. Her house was clean but lived in, a far cry from his cluttered, messy apartment. He felt vaguely worried that he’d see a dirt imprint when he gets off the couch.

The arrival of food was a welcome distraction—right up until he worried about making a mess. What was worse, getting reamed for staining the couch with curry sauce or being made fun of for shoveling the whole thing into his mouth?

A soft weight leaned against his side and he startled.

Astra was reclining against him, scooping up noodles with her chopsticks without caring about the sauce. Cautiously, Ace stopped worrying and worked through his food. As she had stated, they were generous with their portions. Somewhere between the noodles and picking out chicken Ace had relaxed into the couch cushions. The obligatory third act fight well on it’s way as they set their empty boxes down. Astra tucked underneath his arm as she wrapped hers around his waist with a happy sigh.

As the credits rolled, Astra shifted against him.

“This was nice. I always thought you looked warm.” She mused. Ace paused, looking down at her in confusion. “Want to put on another one?”

“… I thought you’d want me out of here already.” Ace stated. Astra looked at him, soft brown eyes confused in the dim light of the end credits.

“Why? You’re good company.”

Ace felt floored. What an odd thing to say when he knew he’d been leaving smudges of dirt all over her clean house.

“I know I’m too filthy to be in here.” Ace said.

“What the hell are you talking about, Ace?” Astra asked, sitting up to look at him. Ace’s face grew hot as he looked away, waving his hands vaguely.

“You don’t need to pretend, doll. I work with engines all day. I know my clothes are stained with oil and my hands leave grease smears everywhere.” Ace rolled his eyes, “And I know you’d hate your nice dresses getting dirtied up just being near me.”

“…Since when have I cared about that? I know how to wash my clothes, Ace. A little extra laundry sauce is well worth spending time with you.” Astra informed him, much to Ace’s disbelief.

“Doll, you don’t have to lie to me because you’re friends with my brother. I know better than to touch pretty things without cause.” Astra wrinkled her nose.

“With an attitude like that, it’s no wonder you never feel clean enough.” Astra said, throwing her leg over his lap and sitting. Ace’s breath froze in his lungs, his hands twitching as he didn’t know where to put them. But Astra had no such difficulties, her hands trailing up his chest and to his neck, tipping his head back as she leaned into his space further. “You think I’m pretty?” she asked, her words brushing over his lips.

“C-Course I do, doll.” Ace mumbled, face red as she hovered over him, eyes locked with his. His hands found themselves at her hips, bunching up the soft cashmere of her sweater without thought. “T-Too pretty to be sitting on my lap like this.”

“I don’t know, Ace. You’re looking pretty cute from where I’m sitting. A little grease isn’t going to scare me off. Unless you’d rather I not be here? I can move but…”

“But?” Ace whispered, his heart pounding in his chest as his cock began to ache.

Astra leaned in closer, almost brushing his lips as she spoke, soft curves pressed against his body.

“I’ve wanted to kiss your cute face since we first met. Every freckle and scar. Think I could, Ace?” Astra whispered back.

Ace whined, clutching her sweater as he lifted his head up, smashing his lips against hers. She held his face between her soft hands as her tongue swept into his mouth. Ace moaned as he chased the taste of orange chicken and something sweeter—something uniquely her. His grip fixed onto her waist, grinding her against his lap as he was rewarded with a soft moan.

“A-Astra…” Ace panted as she pulled back for air.

“Do you want more, pretty boy?” Ace blushed, whining as he ducked his head against her soft neck. Shyly pressing wet kisses and nips to her skin. She swiveled her hips down against his erection freely, her hands running up and down his sides as she slowly pulled up his shirt. Her nails lightly tracing his abs until her palms met his chest. Panting for air, he pulled away to rip his shirt off.

His eagerness rewarded when she tossed away her sweater. A lacy, silk camisole covering her bare breasts.

The possibility of smearing dirt on her clothes the furthest thing from his mind as he pressed his wet tongue over her stiff nipple. Damp silk catching on his canines as she moaned for him. Her hands caressing his shoulders and running through his hair. He pulled away reluctantly, blowing across the wet fabric with a heady chuckle as she jerked against him.

“Callin’ me pretty when you look like sugar and cream.” Ace huffed, pulling down her camisole to nip at her stiff peak. “Stop lying to me, doll.”

“No, no, no baby~! I’m not lying at all. Look at your pretty face. Those gorgeous eyes. I can’t think when you walk around without a shirt on.” Astra praised him, pulling back his hair so he’d look her in the eyes as she pressed her breasts up against his chin. “So sweet for me, pretty boy. I need you to touch me. Won’t you touch me, pretty boy?” Astra asked of him.

Ace’s hands were already making their way to her thighs. Fondling the curve of her ass as he gently pulled down her tights. The sheer, white fabric almost ripping under his careful, desperate motions. Ace grit his teeth and hissed as he fucked up and tore it anyway. Lace panties evident under his fingertips as he pressed up against a thin, damp strip of fabric.

“S-Shut up~!” Ace huffed, pulling the lace aside and finding his fingers drenched. Sliding into her cute pussy without effort despite the tight squeeze. Astra moaned, squeezing him closer as Ace dipped his chin lower to kiss her breasts. “N-Not pretty or cute. How can you say that when your tits are right here? Your pussy drenching my hand? I-I shouldn’t be here—fuck you’re so soft—” Ace cursed. Astra moaned, bouncing against his hand as he marked her chest.

“W-Want you here! Right here, Ace. My pretty boy, let me ride you please~!” Astra moaned, pulling his hair back to kiss him feverishly.

Ace whined when she raised her ass up, ripping his hand free of her cunt as she blindly reached down for his jeans. Like an addict, Ace kept fondling her wet pussy and thigh as she freed his cock. Groaning as she reached for his wet hand and made him fist his dick. Spreading her arousal across it, guided by her soft hand as she sank down. The leaking tip drenched as it pressed against her pussy.

Ace threw back his had with a harsh whimper as she sank down onto his cock. Sopping wet cunt throttling every inch until her ass met his thighs. His eyes squeezed shut as he panted for air, body tense and stiff as a rock. Then she pulled up, a pathetic whine leaving his chest as he struggled not to cum. The head of his cock almost slipped out and he desperately latched onto her hips, yanking her back down firmly onto his lap.

They both cried out, shuddering against each other as he settled in her body. Cunt struggling to hold onto his thick cock.

And despite feeling like heaven and hell wrapped around his cock, she just kept talking.

“H-Hot! You feel so hot, Aaaccee~!”

“Let me hear you again, pretty boy. You sound so cute when you whimpered.”

“No, no tears pretty boy, I’m not going anywhere. Wouldn’t leave you for anything pretty baby.” Astra cooed against his lips as she rode him. Licking and kissing him as he whined, hips jolting up with every damn nickname she gave him.

“N-Not a pretty boy~!” Ace denied, receiving only a soft chuckle and a kiss to his cheek.

“Yeah you are~ Pretty boys get free rides… do you want me to stop?” Astra asked gently, pulling off his cock. Ace’s blood froze at the suggestion.

Her body was torture. Soft and sweet all over… and he never wanted it to end. Ace shook his head frantically, gripping her hips and pulling down unsuccessfully.

“But you’re not a pretty boy, Ace. You said so. My pretty baby could have this all day…” Astra teased. Ace blinked back tears, knot tangled up in his chest and balls as his head swam. She sank down finally, sitting firmly on his cock as she leaned over and whispered into his ear. “Are you my pretty baby, Ace?”

“YES! Yes! I-I’m—I’m your pretty baby~!” Ace broke, almost sobbing as she started bouncing on his cock again. “I-I’m pretty! S-S-Sooooo pretty for you, d-doll~!” Ace cried out desperately, tears falling as he hurtled towards the edge.

It hurt like hell.

It felt like sin.

It felt so fucking right to be her ‘pretty boy’.

Truth or a lie, it didn’t matter. She wanted him.

And his cock throbbed as he came with a broken sob, her pace slowing down to grind against his lap. Ace’s thighs trembled as he flexed his hips, bouncing her on his cock as he reached down and rubbed her clit. Desperate to show her that he was worth being her pretty boy.

“A-Ace! Ace! O-Oh p-pretty baby yeah, so good for me, baby~!” Astra chanted, pussy clenching down on him as she trembled. Squirting on his cock and probably ruining her couch.

But Ace didn’t care.

He only had eyes for Astra, panting and sweating, tan skin marked with bruises and smears of grease.

Ace panted, holding her firmly onto his lap still as he finished pouring into her quivering pussy. Astra moaned, wobbling in place before falling forward against his chest. Raining kisses across his filthy skin. As rubbed his hands across her slick skin with a dizzy smile, kissing her soft brown hair.

Slowly, she started rocking against him again. His cock stirring in a lewd mix of their cum as it dripped down his balls and thighs.

“A-Again, doll?” Ace asked breathlessly. Astra lifted her head and kissed under his chin.

“Yeah, pretty boy. You deserve a reward.” Ace didn’t know what the hell he could have done, but any questions he had were silenced as her lips pressed against his, her waist rocking against his grip.

He wasn’t totally sold on this whole ‘pretty boy’ business. But if it means he gets to taste and hold Astra’s sweet body… he’s willing to hear her out.

If she doesn’t change her mind in the morning after seeing the state of her couch, Ace didn’t mind being her pretty boy.

[ginshariboy]

21 and 31?

21. A boss that was disappointing

Post-Overnerf-Pre-Nerf-Fix Radahn - Elden Ring

bear with me i know this sounds like i'm waffling given i said i enjoyed the radahn boss fight in a previous answer. also apparently the internet has deemed radahn content to be like cringe or whatever and they stomp their little baby feet when you talk about the Radahn Nerf either because they are mad that he's no longer too hard for normies or because they're annoyed someone is talking about radahn so ??? damned if you do damned if you don't lol but anyway it was still early into the era of elden ring and by the time i got to him, i had already heard oough radahn difficult, but also knew of the nerf. but i, a fromsoft baby, was like there's no way a nerf can save me from myself. i even set up a stream because i thought oh surely me getting my cheeks clapped severely by this boss will be entertaining. i go in, i beat the guy in one go and i'm like oh. hm. i still think its a cool setup and all that but the second time around after they fixed it was a lot more satisfying than the first fight.

Literally Every Boss On Easy Mode - Silent Hill 2

i'm not one to knock easy modes but i personally regret going through silent hill 2 on easy mode. the abstract daddy in the very tiny room sounded like it was going to be ass because i heard it hits hard so i said oh jeez this is the end and i think it took like two shotgun shots to kill.

My Fucking Debts - Animal Crossing New Horizons

2020 may have hurt me irl but i was thriving in animal crossing!!! i used to do the stalk market every fucking week for months on end and i think i ended up with like 32 million by the time i stopped so needless to say i was an unstoppable force when it came to paying debts off. it even got to the point where if there were too any flowers/weeds in a spot, i'd just rip a resident's house off of the ground and put it down on top of the flowers/weeds to destroy them then i'd move the house back to where it was.

31. Someone has never played a video game before but is open to trying any genre. What game would you recommend as their first?

i think overall it depends on the person but narrative or party games seem like a good way to introduce people to video games. narrative can backfire if they end up being like Why Am I Not Doing Shit because turns out they wanted to like. idk kill. but there's usually a lot less pressure to perfect mechanics before you can get anywhere so they probably won't get frustrated in that sense. party games also don't tend to have the most complicated mechanics and its usually nice to try something new with other people also participating. easy entry, still fun.

[echthr0s]

I am disappointed about how this BG3 experiment turned out but I cannot be too disappointed because I also learned some things in the process, namely about what makes games "work" for me and the difference between appreciating something's artistic value and enjoying the experience of it. cut for length

I don't enjoy Larian games. which feels bad to say, because I think Larian games are beautiful and intricate and full of amazing worldbuilding. why would I not enjoy that? it's very simple -- they are mechanically dense in a way that I find very unrewarding. and that feels bad to say, because the way people tend to interpret "this doesn't work for me" is as "this is bad and shouldn't exist", and sometimes I internalise that. but I know damn well that's not what I'm saying. what I am saying is that what makes games enjoyable for me is different than what it is for the people who enjoy Larian games, which is a perfectly neutral concept

I had to compare how I feel when playing the games I love to how I felt when I was playing BG3. Can Calah pointed out that he has never heard so many frustrated noises per minute from me while playing a game that didn't end up in me immediately dropping the game, and that's a good point. at one point I was literally in tears. this is not because the game is difficult to me. it is, in a way, but it's not like Bloodborne where I literally couldn't get past the first mob of enemies, lol. that didn't make me feel bad, I knew I wasn't gonna get through that game, I just wanted to try it anyway and laugh at how bad I was at it. what BG3 is to me is taxing.

here's an example: I'm familiar with isometric RPGs and especially their movement set. but BG3 is like... some hybrid of isometric and straight 3D, and I constantly want to move the camera down behind my character and use WASD for movement, expecting the camera to circle around the environment in a 3D fashion when I move my mouse. and this is a minor peeve -- not even a peeve, more like a "the way this game looks to me and the way this game is meant to be played are at odds, apparently" -- but it sets a baseline level of minor irritation. like a lil IRL debuff. so then when I hit something else that is irritating (like gnarly turn-based combat scenarios or having to reload a bunch of times trying to get past one NPC without activating a gnarly turn-based combat scenario), I'm already irritated, so I have less mental resources to deal with this new thing. I did not immediately recognise this was happening, but it's definitely the main roadblock for me

last night I went to do some research to see if I could figure out ways to make my Act I experience a little less taxing. I love learning tips and tricks about games I play, or finding out how the game works behind the scenes, stuff like that. when I look up stuff about ESO or FFXIV or Mass Effect or whatever, I feel curious and excited to try out whatever new thing I learn. (this is why I don't read the ESO subreddit at night, because then I learn something and I immediately want to boot up the game and try it out and I can't bc I'm supposed to be going to sleep and I get mad LOL) but I didn't feel that way at all last night. I just felt... tired. the curiosity and excitement did not magically appear. because ultimately this is just not a game I can play. not right now, at least. and yes, this upsets me, because I wanted to play it. but enjoyment cannot be forced and it's not fair to myself to go "look at all these other people having a great time, why can't you be more like them?" (talk about a line straight out of the Bad Parenting Playbook lmaooo)

yes, I would have loved to find out what it's like to be half-illithid, I would have loved to fall in love with Wyll, I would have loved to learn more about Faerûn and the various cultures and wow, would I have loved to see the Underdark, finally! I won't be meeting that drider guy I kept seeing gifs of and that makes me sad! but "the journey is the important thing" is never more true than when it comes to video games -- if I do not enjoy the minute-to-minute gameplay, if the journey itself is not inspiring joy in me, then it won't matter if I somehow push myself long enough to get to those moments. because I will be so stressed and tired and annoyed by the time I get there that I won't even enjoy the victory. so then is it really worth it?

the insight I've gained about myself as a gamer from failing to become a BG3 player is, however, quite worth it, I think

[runicmagitek]

2022 Writerly Year Review

tagged by @frozen-fountain (many thanks!!) not gonna tag anyone, but if you're a writer and are reading this and feel like giving this a go? Consider yourself tagged! 💖

Total number of completed works. Posted to AO3? 62 🙃 I guess it's technically 61, as What Leads You Here is still in progress, being a longfic and all.

Total number of WIPs worked on this year. Oh lord, hold please as I count all the drafts and partially done stuff in Scrivener.... 7 total. 8 if you include What Leads You Here, which fully drafted, but in the editing phase.

WIPs neglected this year. I honestly don't know djsaklfdjslkfjkldas I continue to neglect my one Celes/Terra fic I abandoned when 13 Sentinels hijacked my brain, so there's that 🙃 I promise I'll return to it one day.

Fandoms I've written in. 13 Sentinels, Critical Role, Final Fantasy (VI, VII, IX, and X), Fire Emblem: Three Houses, Mobile Suit Gundam: The Witch from Mercury, My Dress-Up Darling, and Pyre

Total word count. Uh, posted to AO3? 287,882. Written? A little over 500k

Looking back, did you write more than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you expected? MORE. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY MORE.

Did you take any writing risks this year? There were a handful of fics that I banged out in a single day, quickly edited them, and slapped them onto AO3. Are they amazing works of literature? Hell no. Were they super fun to write? Hell yeah. I need to just… relax with editing more and let myself do this more often. I swear some of my better-received fics are when I go "you know what? fuck it" and release it into the world.

Do you have any goals for the new year? Not write as much lolsob. Also finish What Leads You Here along with a handful of WIPs. Maybe even revisit that Celes/Terra WIP if I have time/energy!

Biggest disappointment? Not so much in my own writing, but just lack of engagement with some of my fics. Then again, that's par for the course when you write A) not-so-popular characters, B) gen fic, and C) stories involving death and angsty bits. Also seeing my fluffy G fics doing better than my smutty fics in the 13 Sentinels fandom just… continues to baffle me to this day. It's LITERALLY the only fandom I've ever been in where smut does worse numbers-wise and I don't get it.

Biggest surprise? I wrote something for Critical Role!! I've been a longtime watcher and enjoy the show, but I've done my best to staaaaay away from the fandom 😰 plus I tend to wait until I finish something before I ever consider writing a fic for it, just so I can have the whole picture, so to speak. But one particular episode just set me off and I had to write something to hold me over until the next episode 😭

Most popular story of the year? Most hits/bookmarks? For the Ones That Feel It the Most

Most kudos/subscriptions? Sweet Dreams (why are people subscribing to a oneshot lolsob)

Most comments? What Leads You Here

Ahhh the power of posting fics near the release of a popular thing. And also longfics lol.

What's your own favorite story of the year? I feel like this changes on a daily basis lol I love all of them for different reasons. Lucid has a close place to my heart bc I was Very Upset to find close to no m!Byleth/Gatekeeper fics in an incredibly popular/active fandom. Also really love how Like You, Only Sweeter turned out, which was an incredibly self-indulgent story for me (I just wanted them to smooch)

Story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion. Nearly all of my 13 Sentinels fics bc the fandom is small and niche lolsob. But also Marinate, which granted, I posted the last week of 2022, but still.

Most fun story to write. What the Water Gave Me, which very quickly snowballed out of control into its own thing. I had a blast writing this mermaid AU and thinking of lore for this world!

Most unintentionally telling story. I'm not sure if this means like… a story that utilized more telling as opposed to showing or just… telling about me as an individual. Either way, I'm genuinely not sure? A lot of aspects of myself are sprinkled across my stories, but isn't any work of art?

My favorite part of fandom this year. WHAT DO YOU MEAN I HAVE TO PICK ONE?????? Meeting so many cool and incredibly talented people. Starting a Discord server with good friends. Applying (and getting accepted!) to a bunch of amazing zine projects. Participating in all the secret santa events and fic exchanges. Being late to a fandom and getting to experience things for the first time. Watching my friend react throughout their 13 Sentinels playthroughs. Collaborating with a lovely art friend to make our own damn zine. Getting to share my longfic with the small, yet vastly passionate community. And just… so so many more moments that made me smile and be forever grateful. If we've interacted at all, even for a brief moment, thank you for making 2022 a little brighter.