#Seriously why did I write all this?

[brokenmusicboxwolfe]

Sorry about this. I dunno why I even wrote any of it.

It was just a typical day…

In the middle of rushing around doing chores I found out my brother will soon need me to go take care of Mom for a bit. I can’t get ahold of the woman who fed the animals last time, and in fact she hasn’t been responding to me for almost a month. No one else says they can do it. I have to do over 100 miles away, so I have to have somebody, but I have no one to ask.

The power outage made me discover a potential problem from vines threatening the place the power connects to our electrical building (we have not just a house but four other buildings with power). Vines thicker than my arm had grown up nearby trees, and a fallen limb left dangling in the tangle had pulled them down within reach of the power. Oh boy are the vines trying! It’s too high up to cut from above, obviously, so I needed to cut the vines where they go up the trees.

Lots of vines. Lots and lots of vines. And I had to cut some of them while scrambling across scrap from our fiberglassing business.

I got too hot, misjudging the weather as it went up to a heat index of 101F.

And then it rained. Good to FINALLY get rain. It would start the exact moment I was sitting down by Ryoga’s to call Mom. It was so little rain it was still dusty in Ryoga’s lot, but the book I’ve been reading Mom (Soul Music) got wet.

While it rained, and after Mom’s call, I went to the other house to get some stuff done inside. Something stopped me from everything I tried. Need a tool or something. Have to do this or that first, but not knowing how. Having all the lanterns have fading batteries, so I couldn’t see. (The curse of a house without electricity)

Discover a branch rubbing on Mom’s roof, pulling up the tin in the corner. (Tin roof directly on beams, not even insulation, so pull it up and you got no roof at all. The joys of cheap late 19th century southern construction) We are talking way up high, and even the pole saw would have to be used from the porch roof.

I’ve disassembled the pole saw and lost the bolts. I only did this a month or so ago after I had to move stuff at my brother’s demand. It had spent years along the stairs where I could get it, and now I need it again.

The porch roof is leaking. I can’t figure out where.

My finger, torn up from the blister incident, still won’t bend. It makes everything harder.

I had a breathing attack. I hate that rainy days often do.

I went back to work on the jungle around the electrical building and discovered the door open a bit, enough for someone to get in. I suspect someone has been in there. Some tools had been left in the doorway and were ruined.

Wanting to lock the door (a bit late I admit) I got to work on the vines in the way. It still wouldn’t shut, with a hinge not on right.

Cutting more stuff I got poked in the eye. Yes, AGAIN! And it was my good eye damn it. I’m hurting like crazy still all these hours later, and my vision is all blurry.

I kept working. Hours of work. My shirt was so sweaty it seemed like I was going for the “wet t-shirt contest” look.

I stopped working because it was getting late enough the animals were throwing a for for their supper. I was glad for a swim before it was too dark, but the dogs barking got me out. The thieves still had me jumpy, half expecting more intruders. The dogs just wanted attention, but I got in poison ivy with my bare legs.

The house was hot. The little wall mounted air conditioner can only do so much. Even to sleep I have to have a fan too to keep it below sweating levels. I HATE being hot.

Thank goodness I could eat cold leftovers. Neither my stove nor microwave work right, and using a burner that has decided to only go “inferno” or “off” and an oven that always takes exactly double any recipe’s cook time wouldn’t be fun in a hot house.

I pulled four ticks of me that were already biting.

My bad ankle finally gave out from being on it for hours, and I was limping.

I tripped on one of the planks across a hole in the floor, turning my ankle.

I discovered my left hand hurt too much to carry even a jug of milk. Weird, but Owwwwww!

I also realized that all the blisters on my fingers and hands have now hardened up so instead of hurting it now feels like I’m wearing thick rubber gloves.

It was too late to watch a movie. I couldn’t sculpt because the only sculpey I have left is nearly unusable, and besides my hands are wrecked. I am starting to miss sculpting, and seriously worry that my most recent utter disaster will be the one I go out on for good.

My ipad decided it didn’t want to connect to the internet. Which is just as well as I find myself getting angry a lot lately.

I tried writing in my journal. I was tired and distracted and my eye wasn’t helping. It was a messy, near unreadable, scrawl with much marked out and the most ridiculous spelling mistakes. I didn’t care and barely had any thoughts anyway.

Nony curled up on my lap. He was scratching fleas, then I had fleas. And still let him lie there, because when I said his name he turned his head up at me, snuggled against my chest, and meowed a little reply without ever opening his eyes. Dang it, why does he have to love me AND be so cute? I was now trapped by the cat, unable to get up to do the stuff I needed to do before bed.

I am sooo sleepy, and I was already yawning all day, yet I wrote this! As usual I planned to write three sentences about my stupid without rambling, useless day and failed completely.

Geez, I’m sure anyone else could do better with my life. Go places, do things, have friends. Get things done. Not hurt themselves all the damn time. Get to bed before midnight at the very least.

[voiice-of-the-soul]

It irritates me alot when people say that making medic more compassionate is ''missing the point of his character'' when he is literally shown to be in the comics.... did you miss the part where he showed concern for both sniper and miss pauling's well being in comic 5 and 6.

His actions are a combination of genuine attachment + clinical interest and these things do not cancel out one another. He is always pushing boundaries and going against the grain and i think this is what led to him losing his license in the first place. He felt stifled by the rules imposed on him.

He is shown to be extremely passionate so it makes sense that he would use his endless fascination with medicine as a way to show his affection. He loves his friends so he will find a way to make them borderline indestructible. Malpractice is his love language.

[suzukiblu]

Please, cuddling, and TimKon?

. . . I am sorry but also I am NOT sorry for what I have done with this reply, but hey, why don't we all enjoy this one being the only prompt fill from this meme that got a read-more cut??

“Please,” Kon tries, trying not to look–he doesn’t know, weird and needy and like an embarrassment, or whatever. It feels like such a stupid thing to ask for. He knows Tim’s not really a hugger or a touchy-feely guy or whatever and that he likes having his own space and basically always hops out of bed right after sex to go write down all the shit his post-nut clarity made him think of, and the idea of, like, just staying still and actually cuddling or whatever is probably basically literal torture to him, assuming it’s ever even occurred to him at all, just . . . 

Just he’d kind of like to sometimes, maybe? Like–not regularly or whatever, he’s not trying to drive Tim nuts or cut into either his worktime or downtime here, just . . .

Just he’d like to do it sometimes, that’s all. 

Tim’s not the tactile type. Tim isn’t even the eye contact type, unless he’s lying to somebody or at work or just faking it for Robin-mode or whatever. Kon gets that. He’s been, like–careful about that. Not trying to take up too much space or ask for too much attention or mind when Tim doesn’t even look up at him when he– 

He’s been careful about it. 

But he is . . . well. The tactile type. Like . . . kind of, anyway. 

Like–it’s kinda unavoidable, honestly. 

“Oh,” Tim says, blinking at him in just enough bemusement to make him feel even more self-conscious about bringing this shit up to begin with, and Kon tries to keep his expression casual and noncommittal and–and just normal about this. Because he is totally normal about this. He is so normal about this. He is.

He’s also normal about the fact that when he asked Tim if he could talk to him about something, Tim didn’t even put down his tablet. Didn’t even put it to sleep, or actually even look up from it until . . . 

Kon’s normal about that. About all of this. 

(and he definitely never feels kind of weird or a little bit abandoned because Tim can’t EVER just bring his stupid laptop back to bed or at least work on whatever he’s thinking about IN the bedroom at the untouched desk he's got set up in there or even just, like . . . stick around and hang out on the couch with him, or anything like that. he definitely totally ENTIRELY doesn’t ever just feel like a casual fuckbuddy or an easy hookup or a gala-night accessory or just the most immediately convenient option and not actually–not actually any kind of a–not actually something that– 

he doesn’t. 

definitely.)

“Uh,” Kon says, and backpedals awkwardly, because clearly this conversation is not going the way he’d wanted it to and Tim just looks so surprised by it all, like–like it never even occurred to him or something, that maybe . . . that maybe Kon would want anything like that, or like he literally just hasn’t noticed how hard Kon’s been trying to be normal about it, or . . . 

It doesn’t feel very good, the idea he’s been trying so hard to respect Tim’s space and preferences and comfort levels and Tim hasn’t even noticed that he was doing anything at all. 

Especially because Tim usually notices just about everything. 

Maybe Tim’s just never thinking about it. Maybe he gets out of bed so quick because he’s spent the whole time in it thinking about other shit and just putting up with–just– 

“Kon,” Tim says, his voice going a little tight, and Kon just tries not to wince. He didn’t mention any of the complicated stuff he’s been trying not to feel, he just asked if Tim could–if Tim would– 

He didn’t even mention any of the complicated stuff, so it’s, like–not a great sign that Tim’s looking at him like that right now, like he’s said something really serious or upsetting or . . . 

He really shouldn’t have said anything, yeah. 

“Sorry,” he tries stiffly, glancing away and wrapping his hand around his own wrist and digging his fingers into the inside of it. It’s–tactile. Just . . . something tactile. “I know you don’t–sorry. Uh. Just forget it.” 

“Fuck,” Tim mutters for some reason, and Kon feels like such an idiot for saying anything at all, and a worse one for apparently doing it in a way that’s got Tim making that face at him. That face is Robin’s “my utility belt is empty, comms are fried, and the mission just went to shit” face. 

He really fucked this up. It was fine. Everything was fine, and now he’s wrecked it and Tim’s about to say it’s not even that serious, it’s not like it’s even–not like they’re even–and that Kon’s clearly gotten the wrong idea and they should just–just– 

“How long have you felt this way?” Tim asks very, very carefully, like the question’s something fragile, and Kon thinks from literally the first fucking time you left me alone in bed all night so you could go recalibrate some stupid useless specialty sensor that wasn’t even part of your primary gear, like, a WEEK into us sleeping together and says, “I dunno. It’s not–I told you. Forget it. It’s not a big deal.” 

He’s being weird about this. He’s being an asshole about this, actually, because being prepared for literally every single possible contingency ever is the Bats’ whole thing and he got into this knowing Tim wasn’t the touchy-feely type or all that expressive and emotive about–about his feelings, or whatever, and–and it’s not like he even–not like he–��

(he just wants a fucking HUG he didn't have to FUCK him for every now and then, or for Tim to at least exist in the same space as him for longer than the time it takes for the next email from Oracle to come in or next alert from Batman to go off or next self-assigned project to finish processing or–

but that’s not something Tim does, and Kon knew that going in, so–so it’s his own stupid fault if he feels SMALL sometimes, when . . . when there’s always something else, always another problem to solve or place to be or thing to think about, always . . . always something more important than just . . . staying, just for a little bit, and just BEING with–with him. just him. not the team, or either of their families, or . . .)

He knew all this going in, Kon reminds himself. He knew it. If he were this bad at being with literally anyone else, he’d just–he’d just– 

But something about it being Tim means he just . . . can’t. 

Tim’s jaw tightens, and he finally sets down his stupid tablet. 

Only now, though, Kon thinks bitterly, and digs his fingers a little deeper into the inside of his wrist. 

“Kon,” Tim says again, says too carefully again. Like something’s fragile, again. “I–” 

“I said forget it, for fuck’s sake!” Kon snaps too hotly, and maybe hates himself for both doing it and for the stricken look that doing it puts on Tim’s face, and also maybe cheats a bit by super-speeding straight out the balcony door into the night air and not taking his cell or his communicator with him. Or–definitely does, in fact. Definitely that’s cheating. He knows it is. 

He just really can’t stand to hear Tim tell him how he’s fucked up this time right now, though. He just–he tried so fucking hard not to fuck up this time. 

He really, really tried. 

He should’ve known it wouldn’t work, but . . . but he really did try.

[raiiny-bay]

the kids released a new album

[grayintogreen]

Respectfully, but a character can be and SHOULD BE allowed to be more than one thing without it being considered "contradictory", "retconning," or "negative character development."

[dreadfuldevotee]

unironically kinda fun how much iwtv for me has been about doing and saying all the fun stuff I was, for various reasons, too shamed to do in other fandoms

[swagging-back-to]

worst trope is found family separating as soon as the antagonist is dealt with.

[bookshelf-in-progress]

Reminders to self about how the process works:

Every idea you have for the first scene will be immediately revamped the moment you stop writing it. This sometimes occurs with every scene. So just write whatever words you want and know that they will change.

The idea will get really complicated, and then it will pop like a balloon and deflate back into the simple idea it started out as.

[talesfrommedinastation]

Just read the ‘making of’ behind the scenes regarding the second season of House of the Dragon.

Taken from r/houseofthedragon

In between this, Eric Kripke’s gross behavior in regards to assault on The Boys, and, well, the behavior of the staff running the last season of The Bad Batch….

…I’m convinced it’s a combination of glue huffing, hubris, nepotism, and low bars that get people hired to write shows these days. I’m not even talking about The Witcher, which violated the Geneva convention with how much the writing gave fans physical pain.

Christ, during my dissertation process, I got annihilated by my committee over each word choice. I had to get rid of whole chapters*. I had to write memo after memo about chunks of word selections.

It was hard and brutal.

Still, I ended up with a PhD, and my work ended up being published in different journals when all was said and done. It was solid.

Why don’t mainstream writers deal with this?! FUCK!

*= I ended up taking one, polished it up, and sent it to a publisher. It’s now a chapter in a major textbook so there’s fucking that.

[palaceoftears]

Magnificent Century Rewatch: One Picspam per Episode

Episode 17: The Double Joy

-My dear mother used to say "walk barefoot on earth and it shall take away all your troubles and sorrows, earth shall give you happiness and joy"

-Your mother spoke well, one can only find peace in earth. But I'm not sure if it is on earth or in it.

[autistic-katara]

just remembered my s1 drama class made us watch the boy in the striped pyjamas and act out scenes from it what the actual fuck was that about

[ssreeder]

Official “Jee ask”

BRO. JEE.

Istg. Jee.

That man.

Oh my lord.

THE SASS?? HELLO??

It’s soooo unserious. Every time I read his pov my highscore on the giggle-meter goes up.

he is my favorite non-sokka pov to read because of how hilarious his reactions are.

those eyebrow muscles must be swole as hell. Im serious. His eyebrow game must be studied.

I looovee his attitude bro

“Chang practically announced to the whole bar” when they were debriefing what went down in the SWT camp oh my god he is soooo dramatic

Or when he asks Bato “is this another one of your hypothetical scenarios?” Oh my goooodddddd 😭 I’m literally dying he is soo funny. And I don’t think he even realizes.

He is genuinely one of the most entertaining povs to read if I could make one of those “why we <do xyz>” list on “why we read liab” I’d definitely have “for Jee’s eyebrows” or “for Jee’s attitude” up there.

You know exactly how to write middle aged people who are just Done™ with everything.

That poor man cannot take one more problem added to his list and he will make sure of it.

In a way he kinda reminds me of V, (oh my god it’s been so long since I’ve thought about V) and her no-nonsense attitude

Okay I have so many more things to say but I’m not forming coherent thoughts right now, but basically this is the official

Jee Appreciation Ask™

We ❤️ Jee.

We ❤️ LIAB.

official Jee ask deserves the official LIAB Jee image:

@vintageskeletons for making this hahaha

I’m really glad the way I wanted Jee to come across translated well because an unintentionally intentional sassy old man who was fed up with everything while also caring extremely deeply about everything and everyone was my goal. Yayayayyayyy I’m glad you like him haha.

[the-acid-pear]

Dave and Steven's relationship is so fucking mental literally THE toxicest of yaois 💥

[essektheylyss]

ngl, mentioning one of my hyperfixations does not necessarily activate my trap card. mentioning a book or media that I LOATHED, on the other hand,

[empyrangel]

Finally got around to doing the Arlecchino story quest and I gotta say. what the fuck. genuinely this might be the worst story genshin has ever put out

I was so hyped for it between all of the quests in Fontaine being so good up until now, and the trailer making it seem really dramatic and tense and like it was really going to go in depth about the dynamics in the house of the hearth, just for it to be as boring as it was frustrating.

Part of what made it such a bore to sit through is that we already knew exactly what was going to happen in it. They spoiled so much of it with that terrible amine short they put out prior to the quest. There was no mystery or suspense around Clervie’s identity or all the terrible things she was accusing the house and the Knave of because we already knew she was Arle’s childhood friend and she was talking about the old Knave and not the current one. Seriously, why did they release that short before the quest? And everything that wasn’t spoiled beforehand was painfully predictable. When they were talking about Arle executing people for just wanting a better life than being forced to work for a terrorist organization, I knew there was no way they were going to commit to that. That is way to absurd and cruel and they were absolutely going to chicken out from making Arle villainous so it had to be a red herring. I joked to myself that there was going to be some big reveal about how actually Arle hasn’t been killing these people, she’s just been putting them in witness protection and giving them new civilian identities to live under. And you’re fucking telling me that they actually pulled that shit? Like unironically that was the route they chose to go with? That’s laughable.

This applies to the anime short as well as the quest, but Crucabena was such a one-dimensional cardboard cutout of a character. She was evil to an absurd, almost comical degree, and that’s literally all she was. It’s so obvious she only exists to make Arle look like a better Knave by comparison (and to give her a pathetic sob story of a childhood). She’s not even her own character and she only exists as a foil for Arle, that’s ridiculous.

And that leads into my biggest problem with this quest, which is not only how they absolutely refuse to let Arle be portrayed as a villain or even a morally grey character, but how that leads to insane levels of favoritism that simultaneously harms her character, the characters of everyone else in the quest, and the story itself. I mean the narrative really bends to Arle’s favor in a borderline Mary-Sue-like manner.

She’s all-knowing, apparently. She just knows about both of the plots going down behind her back with no explanation as to why and no prior characterization of her as being omniscient. She knows because she’s ✨special✨ and she just does. Neuvillette has been established to have the power to resonate with and read people’s emotions, but oh so conveniently he can’t read Arle’s emotions. No explanation as to why except that she’s just ✨special✨ and ✨emotionally repressed✨ and he just can’t. She’s also omnipotent btw, because we can’t have the audience believing that Arle is anything other the most perfect most special girlie in Teyvat. The traveler has fought and won against gods, and dragons, and dragon gods, and three other harbingers? Well fuck all of that because they can’t beat this mortal human with ✨special✨ fire magic. Did I mention how strong and special she is? What even was that fight though? Again, the trailer hyped it up so much just for it to fall completely flat. The traveler didn’t manipulate the elements, why not? Were they even trying? Arle just showed them some vision and it completely disabled them. But the audience doesn’t have the context as the what the vision was or what it means (because god forbid we ever get any traveler lore) so it just feels like some lazy cop-out to make sure Arle won the fight no matter what, because she’s the most specialist girl and she’s the best at everything. Can’t have her looking weak.

And that’s another thing, Arle doesn’t have any weaknesses or character flaws. Technically she does, for example she is extremely emotionally repressed. But the narrative isn’t aware that’s a flaw and therefore doesn’t treat it like one, instead she’s treated like the pinnacle of existence. She’s all-knowing, undefeatable in combat, immune to all other characters abilities, a master manipulator, she always has the upper hand against everyone else, she’s intelligent, organized, ruthless, unable to be influenced by emotion, she’s everything except a well-rounded character because this game is so insistent on keeping from Arle from actually being shown as a villain that they somehow did a 180 and made everyone think of her as a hero and the greatest thing since sliced bread. And that leads me to the worst problem with this quest.

The massive Arle dick sucking contest that is the end of the story quest. What the hell was that? Instead of killing people for simply wanting a better life, it turns out Arle forcibly removes people’s personalities and sense of self in a process that is explicitly stated to be extremely painful, and then drops them off in the court of Fontaine with no memories and no idea who they are to fend for themselves for the rest of their lives, but apparently since she doesn’t kill people everyone starts worshiping the ground she walks on? Did everyone conveniently forget that Arle forces children to join the house, then manipulates them into not trying to leave by pretending that the penalty for that is death, and then when people inevitably begin to hate her for being a piece of shit, she removes people’s personalities and sense of self in a process that is explicitly stated to be extremely painful, and then drops them off in the court of Fontaine with no memories and no idea who they are to fend for themselves for the rest of their lives. And on top of that, she’s brainwashed the children of the house to believe that not wanting to forcibly work for a terrorist organization for the rest of your life is the same as betraying your family. And she made the siblings believe that they had to fight her and win to get her to spare the other members when she was going to do that already. Let’s not pretend all that’s not extremely fucked up.

But then you have the two npc’s who were wanting to leave apologizing to her because they were pissed she forced them into the house and made leaving illegal? Like wtf are you apologizing for, you guys are completely in the right? And Lynette and Freminet, who had been beaten by Arle so badly they said they couldn’t move for two days were like “Well that wasn’t even 1% of her power, she could’ve killed us if she wanted to but she went easy, we’re very grateful for that.” Grateful for fucking what? That she didn’t kill you? That’s absurd. And Lyney, who is currently being groomed by Arlecchino to soon take her place in the cycle of abuse, thanks Arle for sparing him and letting him be in the house. He calls her a hero. These people think they actually owe Arle lives for bringing them into the hearth wtf. When I said that the Arle favoritism was ruining other’s characters besides her own, this is what I meant. The siblings could have had some development in this quest. They could have finally woken up to Arle’s manipulation and we could have some nuance to their opinions on and loyalty to Arlecchino while still having them stay in the house because it’s the only home and family they know. But no, all of that got trashed in favor of showing the audience how great Arle is for not killing and experimenting on children and how everyone loves her, and is blindly obedient, and never questions her.

But I think the worst of it was Clervie. We get that whole backstory about how Clervie dedicated her life to seeking freedom and opposing Crucabena’s terrible way of leading until she couldn’t take it anymore and decided the only way to be free was to die. And then she witnesses everything that happened at the ruins. Arle threatening to kill people just for wanting to leave a place they never chose to be a part of, the people begging and crying for their lives, Arle demanding that rules must be upheld above people’s lives, the blatant way Arle was using “loyalty” to manipulate the people in the house, her making the siblings fight her with the lives of the other members on the line, her painfully removing people’s memories and personality and kicking them out. Clervie saw all that and still told Arle that she was a good Knave and Clervie approved of what she did. At this point the game might as well just come out and say “See! Everyone loves Arle and thinks she’s the greatest. Even her friend who opposed the old Knave for being cruel thinks she’s doing a great job. That means you have to like her too. Pay no attention to what an actual piece of human shit she is and just admit that she’s the specialist and the bestest character :)” because honestly that would have been more subtle than all this bullshit.

And what really gets me is that in the quest they explicitly made a point about how sad it was that the children except for Arle and Clervie were too brainwashed to realize how cruel the old Knave was, and then they went and pulled that ending. This goes beyond irony.

Only good part of the quest was that conversation between Lyney and Freminet at the beginning and Lynette calling everyone a dumbass. This whole quest should’ve just been them.

I had such high expectations because all of Fontaine so far, from the archon quest, to the world quests, to events, to story quests have been almost perfect. I’m so pissed that we’re leaving this incredible nation on such a sour note.

[thatscarletflycatcher]

One of the biggest problems of writing that Frasier post is that the logic of 90s comedies is not real life logic. It's not just that you can just pick which exaggerated thing to believe more (and sometimes you need to outright pick between two mutually excluding canon facts), but also the degree to which you believe anything. Which is fun for theorizing but also terrible for theorizing because to argue one way or another you need to create the fiction that the coherent narrative you are pointing out has value of truth in a universe where the value of truth is the rule of funny.