#Seriously how do the ads keep getting more intrusive?

[duskkodesh]

Boy I'm sure glad I have this huge One Piece trailer and floating clown on my page on here, the 'we will boycott any show out of pure spite' website. Surely this is a win for advertising and will not backfire on Netflix in any way.

[wandaspup]

Sinners

Summary: In a small town, you try living up to your mother’s expectations while encountering Wanda Maximoff, a mysterious woman and a childhood friend of your mothers. It leaves you questioning her intentions and your beliefs. 

Parings: Wanda x Fem R

Warnings: Fictional mother is an asshole

Author notes: Things to consider before reading: You are 19 years old while Wanda is 36. I'm not familiar with the bible so please do not take this seriously. It's only fiction.

Warnings will be added as I update more chapters! ♥️ Happy reading

Part 2

The handles are warm as you push the double doors open of the church, their hinges creaking softly in response to the intrusion. As the door swung apart, it revealed the dimly lit interior bathed in sunlight whistling through the skylight. Thousands of dust particles scattered around the beams, casting a glow. On either side of the church, the stained-glass windows painted with vivid patterns, painted their shadows on the polished floor. 

As you lingered behind your parents, hands clasped together at your front. The four walls of the church momentarily silenced the bustling streets before more people entered, quiet murmurs spreading across the churchgoers. People passed by to take their seats, some offered greetings to your parents, while others remarked on how you have grown into a fine young lady. Your family was well known for the small church gatherings they hosted, always extending their hospitality to the community. However, you could not shake the feeling your parents’ ego was involved, driven by their desires to keep their status. Your mother seemed intent on being the best, regardless of the situation, while your father followed her lead. 

Lost in your head, you hadn’t noticed the priest approaching your parents until he stood before them, a gentle smile on his lips. “Good morning, everyone,” he greeted, his voice warm and inviting. “I trust you all found yourselves well?”

“Certainly, Father Steve. It’s always a pleasure,” your mother affirmed with a nod, her hand briefly resting on the priest’s arm. Beside her, your father offered a gentle squeeze of 

Father Steve’s hand.

His eyes landed on you, a wide grin reaching his face as he moved between your parents. Your feet shuffled beneath you, a slight bow to your head as he addressed you directly. 

“My child, you are growing quite fast,” he remarked warmly. “I’m sure your mother and father must be so proud of you.”

You nodded, a faint uncertainty lingering in your response. “I hope so,” you murmured softly. Your gaze flicked over to them, your mother’s stern facade causing a tightness in your stomach. Before the tension could linger further, the priest politely excused himself to begin the ceremony. You followed your parents towards the front row, Father Steve took his place at the altar.

Your mother, focused on the moment, spared no mind at you, her hushed reminder to keep your posture straight and your head forward as you took your seat beside her. 

The urge to roll your eyes was strong, but you fought against it, instead clenching your fists tightly against your thighs and felt your jaw tense and your teeth grind together in frustration. A flicker of movement draws your attention. A woman sitting on the right far end at the fourth row lingering on the edge of your sight, compelling you to get a glance.

Father Steve gently echoes through the church, drawing your focus back to the front with swift precision. “As we gather here today, let us remember the grace and mercy of our Lord, who is our eternal Savior. With his love God watches over us, guiding and protecting us. We strive to lead by good deeds by following his teachings and commandments, we can trust him for his protection.”

“But let’s not forget we are human, mistakes are bound to happen. God will not judge for our mistakes and in his eyes there is always the opportunity for redemption. Through prayers we can seek forgiveness for our sins."

The final sigh of amen hangs in the air, marking the end of the prayer. You can sense your mother stares before she gets up along with the rest from the row. Your thoughts briefly drift to the encounter with the mysterious woman before refocusing. You got up and followed behind your parents, still you couldn’t keep your eyes forward as you searched for the woman. 

Approaching the altar, the chalice tipped gently down as you savored the taste of bitterness on your tongue. You move for the next person, your head down fixed at the worn out tiles. 

A sudden collision made you come back to reality. “I am so sorry.”

“No harm done, honey,” she chuckled softly, so husky yet smooth. “I’m Wanda.” She happily says and extends her hands for a greeting. 

You gave your name and took her offer, your hands met in a firm grasp. Wanda was undeniable beauty, her cheekbones formed natural crowns on her face. The strange sensation from earlier startled within, however you pushed them aside and ignored it. 

“Well I should be getting back to my parents.”

“Of course don’t let me keep you.” 

Everything about her kept you wondering who she was. Her face was so recognizable, you pushed yourself to remember where you had last seen her. 

With everyone getting their share, you navigated past the rows where your parents were engrossed in conversation near the doors. Your mother’s words echoed at the tip of your ears, reminding you how impolite It is to interrupt. So you lingered on the side, fidgeting with your hands as your gaze remained fixed on Wanda. You didn’t know how long you stood there before your mother called out your name, finally getting your attention on the third call. 

“You’ve been out of it all day, pull yourself together now.” 

“Yes, mother, I’m sorry,” you gritted out, feeling anger settle in you. 

You squinted as you emerged out of the doors, stuffing your hands in your pockets as you jogged down the three steps. Families and friends crowded outside while you watched, your parents, well your mother couldn’t help but throw her sentimental joy at people's faces. With a sigh, you kicked a small pebble across the ground. 

Just then, they’ve come to join you where you stood, thankful to be leaving. But as you all started towards the car, the small shriek of your mother’s voice halted both you and your father. You looked up seeing Wanda heading towards you, her presence alone twisting your insides. 

Surprised, your mother’s eyes widened as fixed on the red head. “Wanda?" she exclaimed, her voice tinged with disbelief.

Shaking off the feeling, you reassured yourself that you were just being paranoid about Wanda. There’s no way you could forget a face like hers. It’d be ridiculous not to remember meeting a woman with such elegance. Wanda appeared as a flawless Barbie doll, ravishing with politeness and beauty. Her demeanor seemed almost too perfect to be real. 

Wanda chuckled, her arm draping over your mother’s shoulder with a sharp but soft expression. “Surprised to see me?” She teased.

“You never told me when you were coming.”

With a casual shrug, she stepped back, her gaze briefly landing on you and your father before focusing elsewhere. You tapped your feet, swaying one of them back and forth by your heels. Something about her still didn't settle right with you. It seemed she knew your mother well, what a consequence. You observed your father and can tell he knew her as well. 

“Well, you know me. I always enjoy making an entrance. Arrived yesterday morning and managed to snag a room at that quaint little motel. Your town is absolutely lovely.”

Your father greeted Wanda with a firm handshake before turning to you. "This is our daughter," he said, his hand gently patting your shoulder, urging you forward as though you were still a small child. 

Wanda waved her hand, dismissing the encounter. “Oh, we already met in the church.” She gave you a little pat on your arm, leaving her hand there for a little second longer.

She winked and you felt goosebumps scatter through your body as you stood confused why this woman who you never met before besides a brief encounter was making you feel this way. 

“How about you coming over for dinner tomorrow? We’d love to have you.” 

Wanda nodded and clasped her hands together, a smile broke out on her lips. “I’ll be there.”

[liveontelevision]

Hey! I'm currently writing a fic rn, and I thought I'd ask you about a few things, just for help..

So, number one, how do you depict your characters so well? And I mean that as in how do you make them seem so real and almost exactly like the show? I'd love to know

Secondly, what's your best advice for making things flow together and sound smooth? Instead of choppy bits and 5 different events happening at once?

If you could answer these, I'd be so grateful 🙏🏻 if not that'd completely okay. Either way thank you for taking the time to read this :]

-🤍

!!! I'm!! Literally so flattered you want tips from me omg

Ok well, when it comes to writing for specific characters, I don't know what else to say than consume all the media. A lot of little ideas and details I use were inspired by comics or other fics that I've read. If I'm in the middle of writing and I get stuck I literally just scroll through hazbin content on here. And for dialogue, when I rewatch the show I try to keep in mind how characters talk to eachother and (in Lucifer's case) little reactions that you might not notice unless you're purposely looking for it.

Another thing I do is try to write like little bios about characters (kind of that practice makes perfect idea) but it's great to have those little choppy bits if it helps you get a feel of the character more! For the reader, I actually just try to base it off my little oc I made when I first started writing. Mentally, it helps me keep track of what kind of character the reader is from fic to fic. That all takes some time to develop but I really think it helped me in the long run. And for Lucifer, I have a pretty structured idea about what kind of person he is and what his relationship with Lillith was like, and I make sure that doesn't change between each fic. Technically that does limit me to Lucifer fics but ngl I'm not mad about that

When it comes to flow, my stories actually do start out as a bunch of choppy blurbs! I'll like write down in my notes intrusive thoughts throughout the day and try to connect it with details that'll just make it flow more. For the Demon Barber, I wanted to play with the relationship between a demon who's known Lucifer since he was with Lillith. And I had another blurb about touch starved lucifer who loves being pampered by some kind of cosmetic reader. So I combined it, even if it's the smallest details, it really fleshes it out. Once you get a super vague idea of what you want, it's easier to come up with those little blurbs. It's literally how I start all my fics, so you're definitely already in a good spot already if you have some little ideas you wanna expand on.

Some little, unrelated, tips: When I wanna write a big story I use my laptop and for some reason that puts me in a mindset for better writing. Keep an eye out for repeating phrases and google synonyms if that's the case! And honestly rereading it over and over again really helps. Like even the really small details, trying to connect A to B can literally be as easy as adding a sentence or a dialogue.

I hope any of this helps and it didn't just come out as a bunch of gibberish! I'm seriously so glad you like my stories, and I'm super excited to see what you come up with!

If you have any other questions or wanna shoot some ideas by me pleeeease message me I'd love to chat more often! :D

Happy writing, babe! ❤️❤️❤️

[tuwann]

social media is pushing their luck lately on all fronts. even when you understand their mindset these changes are risky - mainly operating under "social media is like a slot machine" kind of mindset, since thats effectively the same thing.

my point is: the best thing they can do is make it as easy as possible to use the website and develop addictions, any friction hurts this and this is why selling data is their strongest practice, *its invisible to the user*. ads, like promoted posts and such, are less intrusive. theyre just another post. ads, like how youtube does it, are very intrusive and frictional. ads still need to exist for data collection to be worth anything to the corporations, but from a social media companies perspective data collection weighs more on the scale.

but recently, theres been a few interesting developments. its not like ive been to shareholder meetings and can predict exactly what the baby eating ceos are thinking, but - i think they believe the addiction the average person has is so powerful over them that they can get away with putting more friction (or theyre just fucking stupid). the examples im talking about right now are twitters "$1 subscription" and youtube waging war on adblockers. twitters seems like just a fucking stupid descision but youtubes seems more calculated, but its still some big friction.

seriously the twitter thing is unbelieveably stupid friction if youve ever been like... on the internet without access to a credit card you know the difference between free and not free VERY well. the subscription idea will probably get dropped but if it somehow does go through like. every kid will not use it for certian, anyone who... yknow... evaluates the worth of the thing theyre buying even SLIGHTLY will quit, like... the only people that will remain are the blue checks who are not beating the nonsentient allegations. anyway.

i dont know how "normal people" use social media. i surround myself with people who are quite aware about the mass gangstalking of users and are generally above average in tech-proficiency. i dont know the social media habits of jimmy age 25. maybe jimmy will just deal with the friction, but the people i know are fairly averse to the friction and are just... using the sites less because of it. there doesnt really seem to be a stopping point in adding this friction until the site owners get burned somehow (unless youre twitter lol theyre gonna keep doing shit until the servers cant afford to be paid they have NO brakes). i guess we just have to see how much it takes for the lowest common denominator to get too annoyed with social media before sites stop their nonsense

uh, anyway, im gonna take a break from youtube until theres a way to use an adblock on it. a week? a month? never? well, thats fine. i quit reddit basically for good after the API change i can drop a site again if i need to

[raealtheprotogen]

My Twitch and YouTube Situation

Hey all! I hope you're doing well. I'm on the tail end of this flu that's been kicking my ass, and over the last few days of being bed-ridden and not doing any work; I've had a LOT of time to think about my streaming situation and how I want to move forward with content. To those of you that are interested, this post is just meant to outline my plan and ideas.

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First:

I'm done streaming on Twitch as my main platform.

Reasoning:

Twitch has ruined all trust I had in the platform as a means of streaming to an audience. I can not and will not trust a company that put's it's profits above BASIC necessities in a streaming platform.

The ads are invasive, intrusive, completely irrelevant because they're not targeted, and cannot be skipped. This is NOT the kind of environment I feel comfortable streamin in anymore; and I want to move on from this.

I also feel like the Twitch space isn't meant for someone like me who only streams for 2 or 3 hours. Twitch is meant for those that stream 5 - 8 hours a day, and that's just not in me to do. I feel squeezed out by other people that DO stream for 5 - 8 hours a day, and that my content doesn't really appeal to the broader Twitch spectrum in gaming.

I WILL however be keeping my Twitch channel active, and once a month I want to have a BIG charity stream where all tips and donations during that stream go towards the charity for that month. I also plan on doing all of my music related streams and larger streams on Twitch; basically anything that could be copyright or anything that could be over 4 hours in a stream like playing through an entire game in one sitting.

Subathons and events will also still be held over on Twitch where you will still be able to support me and my projects. We still have the 69 hour subathon I'm planning for 69,000 subscribers over on YouTube, and that will be held on Twitch since the platform can handle something like that more easily than YouTube currently can.

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Second: YouTube has better benefits for me, and for you

To say I'm floored by the accessibility of YouTube streaming is an understatement. I noticed immediately that YouTube streaming is better for shorter form streams similar to what I do. A quick little 1 - 2 hour stream is perfect for the platform, and is more in line with what I prefer to do since my day is usually jam packed full of stuff.

Becomming a member of the channel actually has GOOD PERKS that I can define within the membership sign-ups on the channel, and doesn't feel like I'm ripping you off or having to sell myself out at all to get you interested in becoming a member.

(For those of you curious on what being a "member" means, it's the same thing as being a "subscriber" on Twitch. You get access to emotes and other perks on the channel.)

Streaming on YouTube honestly feels like when I first started streaming to Twitch years ago. It feels fun, it's not too janky, and it feels like the platform is giving me *just enough* to work with that I can be happy; and it seems like they're taking it in stride too.

Not to mention the revenue split on YouTube is so much better. I see 100% of the super chats you give me; unlike twitch, who charges you for purchasing bits to give to a streamer. (Super chats are the direct equivalent of bits on YouTube).

I also see a 70/30 split in revenue when it comes to Memberships over on YouTube; which is WAY better than the 50/50 I get with Twitch currently.

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At the end of the day, this is my job and somethign I need to take seriously moving forward. I was very hesitant about making this decision, but I think at the end of the day, this is the best possible decision I can make for myself currently.

Thank you for reading <3

[lavender-w4ters]

Felt like adding to this for more context… kinda went overboard, long post warning. Keep in mind the following isn’t from the perspective of an expert, nor is it a researched essay, but it is from the perspective of someone who has OCD and has gone to therapy with an OCD specialist. My descriptions are certainly biased based on my personal experience, and if you want to know more, I encourage you to seek out articles by experts. If you’re an expert who feels like confirming or denying anything in my post, feel free to do so!

OCD is an anxiety disorder centered around obsessions and compulsions.

From what I’ve seen and what I understand, OCD’s “goal” is to “protect” everything you value—beliefs, relationships, core values, survival, etc. Neurotypical people have defense mechanisms like this, too, but with OCD, that defense mechanism is far too sensitive. It latches onto anything it views as a threat and tries to get you to escape the threat, neutralize it, etc.

The important thing about OCD is that doesn’t really care how likely the threat is. As far as it’s concerned, if the threat is at all present, you’re not safe enough. In the logical part of your mind, you probably recognize the threat is unlikely, but since OCD doesn’t care much about likelihood, it bypasses that logic. That’s why arguing logically with OCD doesn’t really work.

OCD’s primary tool for getting you to do what it wants is obsessions—an onslaught of what-ifs and possible outcomes centered around a “threat” it sees. Unless you manage them with proper strategies, these obsessions continue until you do what OCD thinks will neutralize the threat—the compulsions. Although giving in to compulsions lessens your anxiety in the short term, it also validates OCD’s paranoia. That means next time you run into a similar trigger, those same obsessions you dealt with before can come back stronger! That feedback loop can lead to rituals and obsessive habits, letting OCD sink its claws deeper into your mind.

Every copy of OCD is personalized. Because it latches onto what you value, OCD will look at least a little different for everyone. There are several themes that commonly appear in people’s OCD, and those themes can include cleanliness, tidiness, etc, but that’s only a small portion of the many themes it can latch onto!

Expanding on what OP said, OCD can latch onto gross thoughts that are incongruous with yourself and your desires. These kinds of impulsive thoughts are normal, but OCD can make you take them seriously, turning them into intrusive thoughts. Know that thinking about something bad is NOT necessarily indicative of wanting something bad. OCD can make you think about those things more than normal, and that is also not indicative of secretly wanting those things. I can’t imagine how devastating OCD can be to someone who doesn’t know that.

All in all, OCD is a serious disorder with many faces. It’s very complex and has a huge amount of variation in how it presents itself. My descriptions aren’t comprehensive; obsessions don’t always present in the way I described here, and compulsions aren’t always easy to identify. Still, I hope I did this disorder justice; I certainly did better than anyone saying it’s just a fixation on tidiness!

If you deal with OCD or intrusive thoughts, exposure response prevention therapy can be extremely helpful, but in lieu of that, there are strategies you can practice on your own to manage your issues. This page is a great place to start!

not naming any names but like 80% of this website does not understand how ocd works and i feel like that's because a lot of you guys have yet to properly comprehend that thinking about something and liking or condoning that thing are not the same thing at all. in the slightest.

[eddiesshovel]

Here's a bunch of yapping about Elliott that I sent to a discord server, I added more stuff about him

(Tw for suicide, assault)

It would be EXTREMELY easy to find stuff about his life about his blog, he would share everything except for stuff that would cause people to find out who he is and where he lived (who he was however was found out after he made a post about finding out that a video of him when he was 10 was posted to a website dedicated to people suffering and he complained about it, people went out of their way to find it and would spam him with it), but he would practically post constantly and it would always be stupid and would end up making posts about his life harder to find

His blog was dedicated to just trying to be edgy and shit

He was obsessed with some random ass japanese cartoon about a nurse cat who was basically in love who was violent for like 6 years, he was still obsessed with it when he died

around the time were he ended his life his posts got a little bit more serious and would be talking about his life a bit more, nobody ever really took it seriously, it's not like anyone would know what happened to him or why he hasn't been online since 2012

He seemed to have suffered from internalized homophobia of some sort, but he was aware and accepting of the fact he's trans

A lot of people would joke about certain posts on their blog, because he would post shit like "I love [cereal brand], it is my favorite kind of cereal! I wish my mom didn't neglect me" and stuff like that but not exactly that because he doesn't really see it as neglect

He is actually considered very mature because of the fact that he had to find out how to do a lot of stuff by himself, like cooking and cleaning, doing laundry, chores like that. Doesn't mean he's good at it though

He's as smart as the average 10 year old, he tried to teach himself how to do math and stuff but he didn't understand anything and ended up giving up a couple months latrt

He had to drop out of school because 1. He was getting bullied and it seemed to be too much for him, and 2. After he got harmed in some way when walking home. His mom deemed it too unsafe for him to go to school anymore so he dropped out at 10

I don't plan on actually deciding how he was harmed when walking home, I think I'll leave it up for interpretation. I just can't come up with something, whatever happened was bad enough for him to come home covered in blood though.

Did I mention that he was practically neglected? It started when he was 11, his mom would end up coming home less and less

he has a REALLY bad mindset due to him being alone so much.

There's technically 2 versions of him! One is a normal teenage boy (you can tell it's this version because he looks more nervous and wears a black and gray striped shirt), and the other one is practically a immortal sadistic being who is a personification of his intrusive thoughts (you can tell its that version because he wears a dark gray T-shirt and a lighter gray jacket)

Thats all I'm gonna mention since it'll just be never ending if I keep going

[rianafying]

a big reason behind me not going back to dhaka this winter is that if i went the whole time i was out i’d be scared of running into him and he’d see just how much uglier i have become and how he was right to break my heart. i don’t want to give him that satisfaction.

other reasons include not wanting to let my parents break me again. and also not wanting to deal with all the fat shaming that they all do. yeah fat shaming sucks. and it makes me feel bad. i’m extremely insecure about how i look so i don’t need to be bullied further. also, some white girl asked me if i transitioned from a guy to a girl like, not that there’s anything wrong with that but now i’m like dealing with a new thing, like i’ve always been very clearly female passing, but this random girl for whatever reason decided to ask me that and then said it’s cause of my eyebrows??? like my eyebrows are literally my favourite feature. like, i didn’t know that i wasn’t female passing, and i didn’t know that that was important to me??? at all?! like i never thought that that was something i’d ever care about. i don’t even identify with the gender??? then why do i wanna look like a girl so bad?? is it because i don’t want to look like a guy because i don’t think that i’d be pretty if i were a guy? not that i’m pretty as a girl. but like, wow a whole new thing added to my list of things that drive me insane.

who am i? why do i look so ugly? why do people ask me to model for their clothes? am i a token diversity model? person of colour, lgbt, plus size, like am i there just so they get a diversity pass? because i am definitely not pretty. i’m definitely not a good model. i’m a terrible model. i truly awful one. i suck at poses, i suck at modelling, and walking the runway. i’m stiff and insecure and i hate my face and body. why would i ever want to subject myself to even more criticism, and turn my biggest insecurity into a monetisable thing?? why did i do that? i’m the person that should be styling models, not BEING a model. i hate it so much. but i do it because it pays and because i get to meet other creatives and work w people in the industry. but holy crap did i rlly have to be so ugly? rlly? why? like did i not have enough misery in my life? like minus a serious physical disability or extreme poverty, i’ve got the other top famous miseries down. i think. you know what would suck? if i went blind. or deaf. or idk anything rlly.

that would seriously suck and i would still not be allowed to die. because life goes on and i’m supposed to go on with it. but why? i don’t want to it’s not fun, it’s not nice, it’s not meaningful, it’s painful, difficult, sad, lonely, and dumb. living is dumb. why does anyone keep living? is this a good decision to make? to just keep going through it all? some days i don’t have anything nice to say. some day my trauma takes over. i make jokes, i write in my journal, and then i continue to suffer through this life.

the one person in this whole world, i’m in love with, will never love me back. the people who have loved me back have seriously damaged me. what is all this about? what does it all lead up to? i’ve had good moment, i’ve had good days, but i think i’ve had all my good days. i’m not even interested to know if there are any more coming. but i am still living. and i know why. it’s because i’m a coward. and it’s because i don’t want to hurt the people that actually care about me. basically my little daisu. that’s about it. and for daisu i keep living. but i don’t even live with daisu. i don’t know if i ever will.

why does it all hurt so much? and why does everyone keep going on despite it? well i think i know why. i wanna know how? how does anyone keep living? how do i keep living? not just suffering. how do i work, eat, laugh, idk , date, paint, cook, enjoy, do anything good. how do i get a break from this all consuming pain? how do i swallow the lump in my throat? how do i stop having the worst most intrusive thoughts? what is my purpose? what are my goals? i don’t enjoy life. i simply do not enjoy life. and i’m under a lot of pressure. far too much pressure for me to handle. everything hurts. nobody can help me. they try. but they can’t help me.

won’t it be easy? won’t it all be easier for everyone? if i just left? if i just disappeared? i wish i was never here in the first place. i don’t like that i survived. i wish i hadn’t survived. i wish i died at birth. my abusers don’t deserve to be parents. the person i love does not deserve my love. the one person who seems to care that i’m alive, is my whole world. but i need a break. from all this. hurt.

everything i’m dealing with is literally so lame and basic, and yet i feel like nobody understands me. and the ones that do understand me are probably dead. if i’m not gonna kms, then what am i gonna do?

i hate this lard prison i am cursed to live inside. im stuck i this grotesque physical form. i think i’d enjoy my life if i were pretty. i think that as vain as that sounds. i want to keep living so i can change myself. so i can fix this hellish body that is my own.

[patchpatch]

Reblogging to signal boost.

In around the start of 2023, I had a mental health crisis for paranoid anxiety. I was freaking out that everyone was out to get me, and I would compulsively spiral into full-on conspiracy mode. This was further fed upon with my addictive use of video gaming as a coping mechanism that added more fuel to the increasingly dangerous black and white perceptions of people I was having.

After having a panic attack over a D&D because I had assumed the other person was going to kill me because we disagreed. I don't even remember what we disagreed about, but it was enough for me to be triggered and lash out. That was the last straw that got me to sit up and say, "Holy shit, this is not okay."

After some prodding from my girlfriend, I took myself to the local hospital and ended up being involuntarily admitted for a week while I stayed there. It was the first time in probably years that I was forcibly disconnected from technology and being made to have a digital detox.

Eventually, after adjusting my medication, I was diagnosed with classical OCD. Something that I still find surprising but makes more sense than I originally thought. (In particular, unwanted intrusive thoughts or images that would get stuck on loop in my brain whether I wanted it or not.)

After a week, I was released from the hospital, and after some counseling, I was recommended to give up gaming as it seriously caused me to disassociate for the lack of a better word.

With some help, I sold off my gaming computer and deleted steam, both of which were mammoth tasks in of themselves because of how video games was the only way I thought I knew how to meet and interact with people. It took the better half of a whole year to eventually accomplish both after too lies, broken promises, and relapses to have "just one last game until I'm done for good"

The last game I ever completed played was Armored Core 6, something I'm not ashamed to say I'm happy for, paradoxically. The reason was that there was a clear sense of when I was done. It felt like a game I would use to play when I was a kid. I had forgotten what a game was like when it wasn't constantly trying to get you shill out more and more of your life savings for more pixels on a screen. AC6 helped me let go of my gaming addiction in a way by giving me an actual last hoorah and reminding me that the commercial culture of video games development has changed.

I had a lot of great memories from gaming, some good, allot of them bad, but acknowledging both of them and treating both imposter just the same was what helped to me finally stopping. I was an adult now, and I couldn't keep doing this.

I'm still struggling, but I am absolutely in a better place now. I'm finally putting the time in to follow my hobbies and find odd jobs around town. I'm actually learning sketching finally and playing the ukulele again. I'm in that deeper sense of happiness where the little things I'm doing each day are adding up more and more to rebuilding what I neglected because of my video game addiction. Finding friends my age who are not obsessed with video games is constantly a struggle.

And to be clear, if you are able to have a healthy balance or not like me with a brain easily roped into addictive spending habits, go for it. I'm not your mother. But if you're also finding you're not happy, try stepping back for a week and replace it with reading, painting, or anything really. It's a tough road, but I am happier for it.

You ever get addicted to a video game? You find a game you really like and start playing it every day. You start getting good at it until it becomes second nature to you. Eventually your brain turns off when you start playing and you zone out while playing. You're not enjoying it anymore, not thinking about it or engaging with it in anyway. Just doing it. Becoming numb to the game that you once loved. And you tell yourself that it's still fun, you still like it but to your brain it's nothing more that a repeatable source of dopamine and once it gets the hit it doesn't put any effort into anything else.

It's a hard cycle to break out of if you're not aware of it but once you realise that and take action to let go it's kinda strange. You become aware of all the time you spent doing something that didn't serve any purpose. So much time you could have spent doing things to feed your brain and keep it active. Be it autism, ADHD or some other neruodivergent thing it's all too easy to choose the easy path to satisfaction and contentment.

[highabovethecloudssomewhere]

tips/resources that taught me how to Art as an Adult - a masterlist

Four years ago I decided that “I’m too old to learn how to draw” is a pointless lie I’d believed for too long and you’re never too old to learn something new. I still definitely consider myself a novice and a learner but I’m at a very happy place with my art and I’m having a ton of fun so I thought I’d pass along the tips/resources that helped me get started and kept me motivated. 

I’ll get into resources under the cut, but here are personal tips I lined up for myself that helped during the early stages of frustration and wanting to give up. obviously they won’t work for everyone, but they really kept me going

fill 14 sketchbooks. if you still want to give up after that you can (I’m currently at 13 sketchbooks and could not imagine ever letting it go)

what specifically do you want to be able to draw? For me my goal has always been characters and cats. I’ve added things to it here and there, but starting out overwhelmed with how much you don’t know isn’t great. find a handful of things you really want to draw and see where it takes you.

get yourself a sketchbook fancy enough that you feel cool as heck but cheap enough that you don’t mind absolutely destroying it. Personally, I love EXCEED bullet journals. the dotted paper keeps me from being too picky but are less intrusive than lined paper. From my experience, EXCEED bullet journals takes acrylic and ink like a champ, and they’ve got nice covers that just make you “feel” cool. confidence is important!

acrylic paint and post-it notes are great ways to cover mistakes. I personally love anything that makes my sketchbooks feel “sketchbooky” so this is super fun. 

it is okay to “waste”/”ruin” pages. one time I was in “I’m a failure” artblock and so I poured black coffee onto my sketchbook. (it was gonna get dumped out anyway and I was Very frustrated with my art.) then when the pages dried I just kept right along using it. taught me a lot about not being perfect. sketchbooks are about learning and love, not about perfection.

try drawing in pen. seriously, draw in pen. it’s scary as frick to not be able to go back on mistakes but that’s what the post-it acrylic-paint tip is for, and it’ll help with all sorts of stuff like lineweight and line confidence. it takes some of the stress off too because, you screw up? oh well! Try again! it encourages “try again” over “meticulously nitpick until it’s perfect” and has done wonders for me. I started out my first two sketchbooks in pencil before making the switch and I’ve never gone back. 

(also sketching in highlighter and lining with pen is super fun and cool and satisfying!)

the first page doesn’t matter. I usually just use the first page of the sketchbook to write my favorite songs at the time and then do the same thing on the last page. first page jitters begone. 

(starting in the middle of the sketchbook also gets rid of those jitters pretty nicely. I tried this a couple times and personally still prefer the linear front-to-back but it was fun for a while.)

picking a color theme for your sketchbook can make it feel more “sketchbooky” too. I usually go with blue or orange- blue acrylic paint, blue post-it notes, those cheap blue BIC pens, etc. I like this bc it makes the sketchbook feel like a sketchbook and is very satisfying.

And figure out why you’re doing it. I did it because I always wanted to make cool art and draw my characters, but if you’re doing it for a career then obviously the path to that looks much different. Don’t compare yourself to others. Be inspired by people who are better than you. Acknowledge where you need to grow and where you’re strongest. Lean into those strengths. Adapt to those weaknesses. Be proud of being a beginner- you won’t be one for long. 

Now: some of my favorite creatives and resources!

///

CREATORS:

"Kasey Golden" Mostly traditional art, mostly watercolor, cartoonist, art challenges

"DrawingWiffWaffles" Mostly traditional art, alcohol markers & pens, semi-realism

"LavenderTowne" Digital art, art tips/tutorials, cartoonist

"ABD Illustrates" Digital art, speedpaints, semi-realism

"Proko" (or "Stan Prokopenko") Realism, anatomy tutorials, free complete "Anatomy For Artists" series- basically as hogwild as you can get learning hyper-realistic anatomy

"Ethan Becker" Digital art, ex-DreamWorks employee, tips/tutorials, "Perfect Practice"

"Sinix Design" Digital art, anatomy tips/tutorials, general tips/tutorials, realist

"Oliver's Antics" Digital and traditional art, tips/tutorials, speedpaints, semi-realistic style

“Nerdforge” Traditional art, painting, metalwork, woodwork, bookbinding, building, seriously these people do everything they’re incredible

///

FOR GESTURE DRAWING:

Line of Action Gesture drawing, figure drawing, optional timed practice sessions

AdorkaStock fantastic line of unique reference poses

 ///

Aaand that’s about all I’ve got! there are so many resources out there and so many amazing artists to be inspired by. just have fun with art! art is freedom. be proud to be a beginner and be excited for how you’ll grow. I hope these tips are helpful for someone out there! <3 

Here’s my first digital artwork (April 2019) up against my latest (August 2022)

April 2019:

August 2022:

best of luck to you all. I believe in each and every one of you. <3 happy drawing!

[littlelioncub43]

Hey I really love your Justin Capshaw, and i was wondering if you still open request, can we have jealous Justin? Well it can be from various reasons, maybe Mommy's Co-worker or other things. Anyway have a nice day!

Thank you! I love writing for Justin so much, that lil squishy baby bean! Hehe

Ooo good idea, let's get a glimpse at how our Sweet Boy would handle jealousy.

Kisses 💋

—K 

Summary: Justin gets jealous and worried when you come home late

Pairing: College!Justin Capshaw x fem!Mommy!reader

Warning: insecure thoughts, crying Justin, fluff, barely any angst, smut, unprotected sex (you really should wear condoms, in all seriousness), Mommy kink, reassurance kink? Maybe?, idiots being in love and saying it a billion times

Word count: 3.6k

A/N: I may have gotten carried away with this hehe, also I may have not written exactly what was requested, I’m so sorry, I’m JUST now realizing this after writing it. Let me know if you want to be added to my Taglist! I’d love to keep you up to date with my work!

The ticking of the clock only made the empty house worse. There were no sounds of you looking for a snack in the kitchen or making witty comments at the TV; Justin missed you already. He knew where you were, but, more importantly, he knew who you were with. You were out with Fred Weissler, a prospective client of your accounting firm. You'd been meeting with Fred more and more frequently in the past couple weeks. And he wasn't pleased in the slightest.

'It's only a business meeting. It just happens to be at a restaurant,' you told him as you were getting ready. You were wearing your work clothes, so that made him feel a little better, but the gnawing sour pit in his stomach still remained as you kissed him sweetly and told him you'd be back at 8.

It was 8:30.

His favorite tv show plays as he sits on the couch, he can see their mouths open but he can't seem to focus on what they're saying. Checking his phone to see if you'd answered any of his texts, he chews his lip even harder when he sees that you haven't even seen them yet. His leg bouncing as his mind races, his brain creating cruel and tormenting scenarios of what you could be doing or what could have happened to you. He feels his eyes sting with tears, tears of worry, tears of fear, tears of jealousy.

He hated Fred Weissler the moment you said he asked you to be in charge of his account. He knew Fred liked you and he hasn't even met the guy. Why wouldn't Fred like you? Who wouldn't? You're beautiful, patient, kind, funny, strong yet soft— God, you're perfect. Fred would have to be blind to not be able to see that.

Justin rubbing his now wet cheeks, the tears overflowing and leaving tracks down his peachy skin. A nagging, harsh voice in his head telling him over and over 'Mommy left you for Fred, she's looking for someone better, she's sick of taking care of a big baby like you' Justin shakes his head to stop the intrusive thoughts and lets out a soft sob, trying to will himself to stop because 'he wasn't a big baby.'

The sound of the front door unlocking pulls Justin out from the gloomy cloud surrounding him. Jumping from the couch, he practically races to greet you at the door, he missed you so fucking much, it was making him sick. You struggle with your keys in the lock for a few moments, groaning when the lock refused to give you your keys back. You were drunk.

"Damn lock... let goooo," you mutter the the door before successfully freeing them with a triumphant smile and chuckle, shutting and locking the door behind you.

"Mommy?" Justin asks tentatively, he's only been around you when you were drunk once before, you weren't much of a drinker, so he didn't know exactly how to deal with you when you were. You turn and smile brightly at him when you hear him speak.

"Hi, Sweet Boy," your words bleeding together ever so slightly, "did you miss me?"

He nods immediately, you chuckle throatily, making your way over to him. You weren't completely smashed, you were a little tipsy at best. Your hands snake around his middle, hugging him into you with a sigh. "I missed you too, wished I could have stayed here with you."

Your words had Justin's heart soaring, his own arms around you. Then he smelt something on your clothes. It didn't smell like your floral perfume, no, this was oaky-er, richer, masculine. The realization had Justin's heart plummeting through the floor. New tears sprung up in his eyes as well as a fresh wave of anger.

He retched himself from your grasp, the sudden change in atmosphere not going unnoticed by you. Without a word, Justin quickly stomped off to his room, slamming the door with a resounding 'bang.' You were left in the entry way, confused and sobering up quicker and quicker with each passing second. Kicking off your heels, you approached the locked door to Justin's room carefully. You give the door a knock.

"Justin? Baby, what's the matter?" You ask him through the door.

When he doesn't respond you let out a soft sigh. "You don't have to open the door, but please, tell me what's the matter, Sweetheart."

You listen carefully with your ear pressed to the door; soft sniffles and sobs fill your ears and break your heart. “Please?”

You hear soft thudding of his feet on the floor, approaching the door. The lock turns and the door swings open quickly, and you're met with a teary eyed, wet-cheeked Justin, anger still boiling in his chest and it shows on his face.

"You smell like him," he practically spits, more tears rolling down his face, his eyes not meeting yours. You stare at him in confusion for a moment. "Fred." He clarifies with a sniffle.

"What?" You mutter and bring your blouse to your nose, giving it a quick sniff. You can smell it too; Fred's overbearing cologne. Coming home late smelling like another man is a good reason to be upset.

"I don't want him to have you, you're supposed to be my Mommy," he says with a bite, jealousy making his tone somber with an edge, the anger shining in the pools of tears.

"Oh. Oh, baby, no," you shake your head gently, moving to cup his face gently, "nothing like that happened. Mommy had a little too much to drink and we shared a cab," you spoke sincerely, “that’s all that happened, baby, I promise,” Justin’s sad eyes finally looking at you.

"Nothing?" He asked softly, his hands coming to rest on your wrists.

"Not a thing. I'd never do that to you, baby, never," you say seriously, petting his cheek with your thumb. You can see the doubts and fears slowly dissipate in his watery blue eyes, some still trying to hang on. Wiping his cheeks tenderly, you press kisses to the tracks of his tears, "You're all I want, you’re the man I need, Justin, no one else," you whisper before bringing your lips to his in a soft kiss.

Justin can't help but whimper when you say that, his lips eagerly moving against yours in response. The nagging voice in the back of his mind calling him a baby shuts up as soon as you call him a man. His arms wrap tightly around your waist, pulling you deeper into his room. He feels your arms sling around his neck as the kiss deepens, your tongue pushing at the seam of his lips, asking for entrance which he happily grants. He moans softly at the taste of you; faint hints of wine and an undeniable subtle sweetness, your own moan mirroring his. Breaking the kiss, Justin gasps for breath but still chases your lips, whispering a lustful “Mommy…”

“Let Mommy show you how much she loves you, how much she needs her Sweet Boy, hm?” You murmur to him, waiting for him to nod in consent before guiding him backwards towards his bed.

“Please, Mommy,” he nods and sighs, bringing your lips to his once more, all the negative feelings that had been causing a riot in his chest were now replaced with a burning need to feel your love. He needed to feel how much you love him, how much you want him, and he needed to feel it now. You lead him backwards towards his bed slowly, your kisses slow yet passionate. You had every intention of showing Justin just how much he means to you, and you were going to make sure he feels it.

When his knees hit the edge of his bed, you gently push him to lay on his back, your lips staying connected, his hands clutching you as if you could disappear any second. You settle in his lap, straddling his waist, your pencil skirt riding up your thighs as you drape yourself over him. You pull back once more, your lips trailing down his jaw and back to his lips.

“Oh, Justin, where do I begin?” You whisper huskily against his skin, “I love how smart you are, love how you make me feel, baby,” you nip at his bottom lip, earning a shuddered breath from his heaving chest, “you make me feel so beautiful, so loved, so needed, I love taking care of you and making you feel the same way,” you speak in between kisses, his hands gripping tightly at your sides and lower back as he pulls you into him, never being able to get close enough. His lips greedily chase yours, seeking more and more kisses which you happily give him.

“I need you so much, Mommy,” he whispers to you, his words meaning so much more than the carnal need straining in his pants at your confessions, his hands sneaking under the hem of your pencil skirt to caress the soft flesh of your thighs.

“I need you too, baby,” you say as you sit up in his lap, unbuttoning the front of your blouse, smiling when Justin’s eyes darken ever so slightly as he watches you. Once the last button is free, Justin is quick to push the material off your shoulders, groaning at the sight of your bare chest. Your hands pulling at his own t shirt as his tongue plays with yours, he whines when you draw back to pull his shirt over his head, but he’s quick to reattach your lips. Your hands slide through his hair, smiling at the shiver it sends up his spine, “I love how sensitive you are,” you breathe into his agape mouth, his glasses fogged, it makes you giggle before you pull them off and set them on his nightstand.

“There they are, those beautiful eyes,” you coo, cradling his head once more as you gaze into his eyes, “my god, you’re so handsome, baby, so so handsome,” he whines at the praise, a deep blush setting across his face and neck. You pepper his face with sweet pecks, “you could have any woman you want and yet you chose me… thank you, thank you for letting me be your Mommy,” you mutter as he lets out a broken moan, not being able to stand his mouth not being on you, he surges forward, flipping you over to lay on your back, his tongue ravenously devouring your mouth. You can’t help but moan at his actions, loving how his tongue worked against yours in expert movements, your body now trembling in need, slick drenching your panties. With your back pressed into his mattress, you roll your hips up into his, both of you moaning in unison at the delicious friction it offers. He lifts up to hover over you, desperation written on his sweet face.

“Mommy, need you, need you bad,” he states, one hand quickly trying to undo his belt, his hand fumbles, his desire getting the best of him making him groan in frustration. Your hands replace his, your plans of taking it slow put on the back burner as you palm his hardened length, watching the way his head tips backwards and his eyes flutter shut with a high stuttered moan. You undo his belt, pushing his zipper down without any trouble, your hand sliding into his boxers, your hand gently caressing his naked shaft, making Justin moan and rut into your hand. You bring one of his large hands to your core, letting him feel how soaked you are, he moans at the feeling of your slick, his fingers petting your folds eagerly.

“Feel how wet I am, Sweet Boy?” You say with a squeeze to his pulsing cock, drawing out another sweet moan from the man above you, he nods and whispers a breathy ‘yeah.’

“You know who makes me this wet?” You prompt, your hand leaving his wrist to hold the base of his skull, forcing him to rest his forehead on yours. Another soft nod from Justin makes you bite back a smile. “Say it, baby, who makes Mommy this wet?”

“I… I do,” He mutters, his eyes fluttering open to find you staring up at him intensely, “I make you wet, Mommy…”

It’s your turn to nod, biting your lip as his thick fingers dip into your quivering hole, “that’s right, no one else can make me feel the way you do,” his fingers begin to pump in and out of you at a quicker pace, your words feeding his ego in all the right ways, “no one else can touch me like you do,” you moaned out, getting lost in the pleasure his fingers provide.

“Oh Mommy, yes” he moans with you, his eyes fixed on your face, hips speeding up his thrusts into your hand. You pull your hand out from the front of his pants, pushing them down his thighs as he helped wiggle your panties down and off on one ankle. You knew you both weren’t going to last long, you could take him apart slowly all night but right now you both needed to finish. His lips find yours in a needy kiss, your tongue overpowering his easily. When your hand guides his weeping tip through your wet cunt, Justin can’t help but thrust against you, sending a violent shiver through you both, breaking the kiss. You bite his bottom lip just to tease him, and your plan works when he lets out a pleading whine, you silence him with a soft shush and bring him to your entrance. He gasps when he feels your tight opening, even in his desperation his eyes seek yours for permission—always the good boy. When you nod and lift your hips to urge him to continue, he sighs and immediately pushes into you in a swift, heavy thrust.

You moan loudly, the nice girth of his base filling you out perfectly, your pussy pulsating around him in time with your heartbeat. “O-Ohhhhhhhhh!” He bellows as he bottoms out, Justin trembles on top of you, his legs shaking slightly in effort to keep from coming too quickly, your hands slide through his hair just how he likes it, cradling him to your body as your legs wrap around his waist. “And no one else can fuck me like you do,” you whisper in his ear, rolling your hips slowly, eyes shutting as you listen to him moan for you, his elbows framing your head as he breathes deeply, lifting to get your permission to move, “Mommy, ca-can I?”

“Yeah, baby, please,” you mumble and kiss him sweetly, he sighs and draws his hips back only to sink back into your warm snatch. “Move with me, Sweet Boy, come on,” you whisper in his mouth, one hand on his hips to move it in time with yours. The pace is fast and passionate, your filthy grinds rubbing each other just the right way, unending streams of moans leaving his plump lips which you happily swallow.

“You feel so fucking good, Justin, so fucking good,” you moan in his ear, his own cries filling your ear as you move together in tandem, “you’re the only one who gets to have me like this, m’all yours, no one else’s…”

“A-all mine…” he echoes with a throaty whine and grips your shoulders, holding you as close to him as he can, his face buried in the crook of your neck, his hot breath setting the skin of your throat on fire, “you’re mine, Mommy…”

“That’s right, baby, m’yours,” your run your finger through his hair and hug him tight, “and you’re my Sweet Boy, aren’t you?”

“Yes, I’m your Sweet Boy, m’your sweet boy, Mommy,” he moans with a sob, his pace starting to stutter, the room filled with the lewd sounds of your bodies meeting and your passionate cries of pleasure. “And m’your man, right, Mommy?” His voice croaky as he grits his teeth, his orgasm building higher and higher in his lower abdomen, his tip rubbing that special spot inside of you that has your cunt tightening around him.

“F-Fuck! Yes! Yes, you’re my man, Justin—God, you’re so perfect, don’t stop!” You cry out, your back bowing off the bed, your bare chest pressing up into his as your eyes roll. Hearing you lose yourself in the pleasure he gives you has Justin’s chest swelling with pride; he was a man, your man, and he was making you feel good. “Not gonna stop, Mommy, never gonna stop!”

His hips slam into yours harder than before, the headboard of his bed now slamming into the wall behind it, your grip moves to Justin’s shoulders to hold on for dear life as he plows into you, your jaw going slack in a silent scream. Beads of sweat roll down the side of his face, his lungs burn from the panting but he still keeps going, determined to show you how manly your Sweet Boy can be and how well he can please you. The coil in the base of your stomach winds tighter and tighter with each harsh grind of his hips, his pubic bone rubbing your clit deliciously. Justin feels your thighs trembling around his middle, your walls fluttering around his length in warning of your impending orgasm.

“I love you, Justin, love you so much—oh fuck, m’gonna cum, m’gonna—“ you cut yourself off with a loud, shrill scream of Justin’s name, he lifts his head just in time to watch your high wash over you, your face scrunched up, mouth hung open wide, “I love you too, Mommy!” He slurs out, fighting to form words. Your eyes shut tightly as your walls close around him, milking his cock with all your might, it leaves him trembling with you, balls tightening at the sensation, his own orgasm erupting within him, his legs shake as his hot cum fills your sweet cunt, a high pitched yell echoing your scream as you both cling to each other.

“A-Aaah! Ahhhhhhhh!!” He groans, rope after rope coating your insides in his sticky spend, his hips still moving in staggered thrusts, milking both of your orgasms for all they’re worth. “Mommy, Mommy I love you, love you, love you, Mommy” he chants over and over as the spots behind his shut eyes subside, his head all fuzzy and light in the best way possible. You sigh and rub a hand up and down his back, your limbs feeling heavy as you come down from your own high. You press kisses to his sweaty head, your other hand holding the base of his skull, his face hiding in the crook of your neck as you hold him.

“I love you too, y’did so good, Sweet Boy, always do so good,” you whisper breathily to him, your legs relaxing around his waist, neither of you making any move to disconnect your sweaty bodies yet, just relaxing and basking in the buzzing afterglow. After a few minutes, Justin nuzzles your neck affectionately, humming and kissing softly, still in his subspace. You grin and hug him even tighter. “How are you feeling, baby?”

“S’gooooood, Mommy,” he slurs with a dopey smile, tiredness creeping up on him, his limbs still feeling light as he lays on top of you.

You giggle softly at his slurred words, peppering kisses along his forehead, “you’re so cute,” you say in between kisses, making Justin chuckle throatily and blush a pretty shade of pink. He lifts his head and nuzzles his cheek against yours, his lips shyly pecking your skin. “Mommy, I love you,” he whispers before kissing you softly, the kiss is brief but one of the sweetest you’d ever had.

“I love you more,” you say to him, grinning when he shakes his head and hums an ‘nuh-uh,’ you kiss him again, “uh-huh, and m’gonna love you forever, and ever, and ever, Sweet Boy…”

He pulls back to look you in the eye, “forever?”

You nod with certainty, beaming up at him, his face placid in awe, “forever and a day.”

Justin felt a fresh round of tears bubble in his eyes, this time he was overcome with warm fuzzy feelings, the amount of love pooling in his chest makes him want to burst. He can’t find the words to say and any attempts die in his throat, so he smashes his lips to yours. The next few minutes are spent simply kissing, enjoying the feeling of being held and loved by each other, your hands caress and pet with no aim, you just want to feel. You part with a heavy gasp, both of you breathless from the heavy kisses, his forehead resting on yours, you feel his hard cock throbbing in your walls but he pays it no mind, that wasn’t the focus right now. You can tell he’s tired from the way his eyes never open and limbs press you into the mattress naturally. “Let’s take a nap, hm?”

He nods and snuggles into you, wiggling to get comfortable as you pull the throw blanket on his bed over the both of you. A small yawn leaves Justin’s lips, his hot breath fanning your neck soothingly as you settling in. You rub his back lovingly, knowing exactly how to put your Sweet Boy to sleep, and soon enough you can hear the soft snores of the man above you. Your own yawn interrupts your passive thoughts of what to make for a snack when you both wake up. With each passing moment, your eyelids grow heavier and heavier, and soon you find yourself slowly drifting off into a peaceful sleep.

~~~~~~

Taglist: 

@inlovewithsebstan, @smokememories, @tumblin-theworldaway, @slothspaghettiwrites

[geminixevans-stan]

The Ghost

Pairing: Ransom Drysdale x Black Reader

Words: 2,254

Summary: Reader is on a business date when a blast from a toxic filled past shows up

Warnings: 18+ Minors DNI, Explicit language, smut(Fingering, squirting if you squint, voyeurism)

A/N: I have just been on a disrespectful kick and who can do disrespect like our man Ransom. This came to me just out of nowhere and I wanted to write it because Ransom is just nasty and petty as hell. I hope you all like it! Reblog, Like, and Comment. Happy reading thots!

I do not consent to my work being copied, plagiarized, or translated in any way >:P

The mellow murmurs of the other guests could be heard as you sat across from the man you have been with for three years. You could see the nervousness in his demeanor as he checked his watch, adjusted his tie, and kept looking over his shoulder. His eyes were nowhere on you and it was getting annoying. You had to remind yourself that this wasn’t a date, something he hasn’t taken you on in months. This was only to meet with his boss who he wanted you to meet for whatever reason.

Getting tired of his fidgeting, you tried to give some type of reassurance, “Case, you look fine, babe. I’m sure your boss won’t be checking you out. Just relax,” you said reaching out to squeeze his hand.

He gave a smile that didn’t reach his eyes as he slipped his hand from under yours causing a small sting in your heart, “You just don’t get it, sweetness, my boss is very well dressed and I just want to make a good impression.” You didn’t understand just why he needed to make a fashion impression but there was part of you that didn’t care.

You looked out at the look of the restaurant admiring the ambiance of it. The restaurant was upscale, dimly lit, and decorated just right. There were couples on dates, groups who looked like they just got off of work, and a ghost that you thought that you would never see in a million years. His facial features were more chiseled, but the face, god that face, remained the exact same. But no one was with him.

His clothing choices had gotten better since your college days and it only added to how good he looked. Shifting in your seat, you looked over at Case as he stood up. Curiosity then confusion set upon your face as the ghost appeared to be inching closer to your table. No, no. He couldn’t be.

But as Case shook the hands of your college sweetheart, you knew that you were definitely in the twilight zone. He turned to you, full set of teeth on display as he began the introductions, “Mr. Drysdale, meet my lovely girlfriend, baby meet Mr. Drysdale. Oh, you knew that motherfucker. Ransom took off his shades, looking down at you as you could see the faintest smirk on his face.

Sticking his hand out over the table, he grasps yours in his, pressing his lips to your knuckles, “It’s very nice to finally meet you,” his voice still sounded like pure velvet and you couldn’t deny the electricity from feeling his lips on your skin again.

Your mouth suddenly became dry as you stared back at the man that once or still held your heart. Snapping out of your trance, you decided to respond, “I could say the same, Mr. Drysdale. Case couldn’t stop talking about you.”

He never broke eye contact with you as he spoke, “Well I am always on the tongue in more ways than one,” he smirked again knowing just what to say.

Smug bastard

With all the formalities out of the way, everyone took their seats. If seeing Ransom wasn’t enough, he had to sit right next to you. He threw you a smug look, his cologne lingering under your nose as he turned to Case who began having a conversation with him.

During the talk, Case decided to go to the bathroom, leaving both of you sitting at the table. Ransom felt like he just won the lottery and he was definitely going to make the best of it. He knew he had to get you back and that was exactly what he was going to do.

Ransom turns to you when you both are now alone, “That’s who you decided to be with? Why you with that asshat anyway?”

You shot him a look of disbelief as if he didn’t know or was too oblivious to the fact, “Well I wouldn’t be with him if you know, you would have taken us seriously. Instead, you wanted to fuck everything walking,” crossing your arms as his jaw clenched. It was no secret that he missed you. He wondered where he would be if he would have just been all about you. But young Ransom was a whore who cared only about himself.

But seeing the only girl that had his heart with someone else was just something he didn’t agree with, “Still doesn’t answer my question kitten,” that name. That fucking name. He knew what that name did to you and you let out a low whimper, hoping he didn’t hear it. But he definitely did because as soon as it was heard, he placed his finger under your chin, “Looks like some things don’t change. Still my kitten, baby?”

How bad you wanted to say “yes” was on the tip of your tongue. He was looking damn good and the ache in your core made you want him to ruin you. But the hurt in you wouldn’t let that happen. Moving slowly away from him, you dropped your head a little, “I would have been whatever you wanted me to be,” you didn’t expect all the hurt to come rushing back. But Ransom treated you as if he could have better. So, why on earth would he want you now?

“You still can be kitten, dump this fuck wad.” He placed his large calloused hand on the exposed skin of your thigh, rubbing small circles in one spot.

His touch, any touch really was something that you missed. Case hasn’t touched or even been affectionate with you in months. To have Ransom touching you was becoming more than you could bear. You tried to move his hand but you were no match for his strength, “Ransom, let go!” you spoke through clenched teeth.

Inching higher up, he dipped his hand under your dress, placing his lips to the shell of your ear, “Let’s play a game kitten,” he breathed as he pressed his lips to the spot behind your ear. He still knew your spots and it was maddening, “If my pussy isn’t soaked, then I’ll move. If she is, daddy isn’t moving any damn where.” Before you could retort, Case was coming back to the table, smiling at the both of you.

He sat down, fixing his suit jacket one more time, “I see you two are getting acquainted! Anything I missed?” He said raising his hand to signal the waiter to the table.

Ransom chuckled deeply, sliding his hands further up your dress, “Just getting to know your beautiful girlfriend over here. Quite the smart girl you have here,” But he knew you better than Case ever would. He knew you weren’t getting properly fucked let alone having orgasms. He could just tell by how responsive you’ve been without him even touching you.

Case beamed at the impression that you were giving Ransom. If only he really knew what was going on, “She’s amazing,” it took everything in you not to roll your eyes. That fucker didn’t know a damn thing and barely paid attention to you. As the waitress came to the table, you felt Ransom prod at your clothed mound, his fingers tracing over the wet material. Your body had betrayed you and he looked at you like he just won the grand prize.

You all had ordered drinks as Ransom rubbed soft circles on the soft fabric. He hated panties and would make sure you never wore them in college. He would soon rectify that after Case was out of the picture.

He pushed the soaked material to the side, playing with your exposed skin as you tried your hardest to sip your drink. Extracting his hand slightly, he tapped your inner thigh two times making you spread your legs wider. He slid back to your exposed lips, rubbing his fingers over your folds as you let out an inaudible sigh.

The conversation was taking way, ransom mindlessly playing with the wetness leaking from your aching hole. He was teasing you to no end and you were growing needier by the second. You wanted to feel him knuckle deep and all he wanted to do was toy with you.

You were barely paying attention to the conversation when you felt your entrance stretch and suck in his thick digit, inviting him back home. He stilled his finger inside of you, relishing in the warmth and wetness of you. He raised the cold glass to his lips and you clenched around him at the same time he took a sip.

He choked a little bit on the cold liquid as a small smirk formed on your lips. Case looked at him in concern, “You okay Mr. Drysdale?” Pressing into your seat, your hips rolled slowly letting his finger slide in deeper.

Ransom waved Case off to ease his worry, “All good, just the drink went down the wrong,” he pushed a second in your tight canal, you gripping your napkin tightly at the added intrusion, “pipe. Now where were we?” He wanted to let you know that he could play your game better than you and he always won.

He began to slide his fingers in and out of your sopping wet hole, sliding in deeper with each stroke. You tried keep a straight face through him playing your body like his favorite instrument and you were doing good until… He found the right spot. Only he knew how to find it and once he did. Oh, you were fucked. Curling his fingers at the spongy surface, he rubbed over that spot over and over, the heat dissipating all over your body as you tried your best to keep calm.

But your juices leaking over his fingers caused him to piston his fingers in with not give and he was taking all the advantage of it. You tried to clench your thighs, but he shot you an inconspicuous look that urged you not to fuck with him. Rocking secretly against his fingers, you could see him smirking while listening to whatever the fuck Case was talking about.

You grabbed your drink, bringing it back to your lips, preparing to take a sip when Ransom pressed his thumb to your overly sensitive clit, pressing into the center, “Oh fuck…” They both shot a look at you, amusement in Ransom’s face as Case was full of annoyance.

He looked at you like you just embarrassed him and you had to make a quick excuse, “I’m… so sorry. Babe this drink is so good.” Case clenched his fist still staring at you as Ransom let out a small chuckle.

“This place does have the best drinks. I’ve caught myself saying Oh fuck once or twice,” he said, strumming his thumb over your bundle of nerves, you downed the entire drink as Case resumed back to the conversation, looking completely ticked off. You bucked against the sensation making him withdraw from you as you already missed clenching around him. Squeezing your thigh tightly to stop your movements, he dove back in with the same movements.

Pulling your lip between the tightness of your teeth, you gripped the napkin once more, letting Ransom bring you closer to a well-deserved orgasm. Your juices leaking down his hand and you knew that this chair was about to be ruined. Your chest heaved up and down as his strokes and circles grew faster as you heard Case ask a question.

“So what do you think about that Mr. Drysdale?” Honestly, Ransom didn’t give a fuck about this conversation. The moment he laid his eyes on you, he knew he was going to take you home tonight and Case was far from his worries. He doubled down on his strokes as he drew quick circles, feeling you flutter around his fingers. He knew his kitten’s body after all this time and it was time to give her exactly what she needed.

Ransom placed the hand that hovered over the top of his lip on the table as he smirked deviously at Case, “Well, I only have one thing to say really,” he looked him dead in his eyes as the next words sent you over to an earth-shattering release, “Come kitten,” The tightness in your core finally snapped and you threw your head back as a silent cry erupted from your lips as you soaked His fingers and the seat beneath you.

He never stopped moving as your walls fluttered and clenched his thick digits, coating them in spurting cream. Case looked over at your blissfully fucked out face, then back and Ransom in complete shock. Ransom kept that same smirk, still staring at Case, “Good girl…” You began to come down from your high and before Case could say anything, the waitress showed up.

She smiled at the group as she placed the empty glasses on her tray, “Would you all like entrees or desserts?” Ransom pulled his fingers from your tight hole, not wanting to let him go as he withdrew with an audible squelching pop.

He put his fingers in the light as your creamy juices glistened against his skin, “Actually, I have my dessert right here,” darting his tongue out he slowly lick your sweet nectar from his fingers, placing them in his mouth to suck the rest completely off. Moaning at your taste, he pulled them from his mouth, directing his gaze to yours.

“Just as sweet as I remember kitten,”

Fuck…

[reidgraygubler]

sweet creature (wes/reader)pt 25

Title: Sweet Creature part 25 Couple: Wes/Fem!Reader Category: slowburn (will contain 18+ content) Content Warning: general anxieties, verbal fights, yelling, D/s dynamic, depression, mildly intrusive thoughts, shoving (puppy shoves wes) Word Count:  2,111 Summary: While experiencing depression, Puppy and Wes run into one of Wes’s former… partners. A/N: okay so i had a whole ass chapter planned between this one and the previous chapter. I read and reread this to hopefully edit out any mentions of that chapter lol.

previous part series masterlist next part

I really didn’t want to go to work today. I wanted nothing more than to stay at home (either mine or Wes’ I didn’t care), curl up under all the blankets and hide from the world. Unfortunately for me, I was still an adult and I still had responsibilities and a job. I could just quit and then I’d be able to stay home. But I’ve had a couple days off and I truly think Wes and Jessica wouldn’t let me leave… That’s what they think though.

Wes insisted we left early so we could get coffee before we got to the clinic. I begrudgingly agreed, hoping coffee would make me feel better. That should do the trick, right? Coffee’s like the magic elixir to life, at least that’s what everyone at the clinic would say. Surely it’s true. That’s what I’ll keep telling myself.

Wes looked over at me with a small smile, forcing me to feign a smile. Maybe if I pretended to be happy I actually would be happy. I mean, fake it till you make it is what I’ve heard. So maybe it’ll work in this case. God one can only hope. 

“Are you okay?” Wes asked, his voice so calm. I shouldn’t be mad at him. He was honestly only trying to protect me. He didn’t do anything wrong. But for some freaking reason, I was mad at him. Fuck, I’m an awful person.

Uh no shit, you’re a terrible person. 

“Yeah! Yeah, I’m good. Just didn’t sleep too great last night,” I said, only half lying. I mean, it’s true I didn’t sleep well. Wes probably knew that too. Considering he’s the one who woke me up from a ridiculous nightmare I was having. “Just tired, s’all,” I quickly added when I realized he probably wasn’t going to believe me.

“Okay,” he hummed as he shoved his hands into his pockets. I looked away from him, my eyes falling to the ground as I remained silent. “Keep our spot. I’m gonna run to the bathroom real quick,” he said as he nudged my shoulder. I jumped, watching as he walked off… Leaving me alone in the line. I took a deep breath and looked at how many people were still a head of us. And how many people were behind us… And how many people were around us in general. Okay… It’s official. I hate people. 

 “I’m sorry,” a woman’s voice came out of nowhere. I blinked as I looked around, trying to find the person who was talking to me. I hated that I didn’t realize that she was talking to me till the second time she said “I’m sorry. Are you with Wes?”

“Uh, who are you?” I asked, pulling my sweater tighter around my body. It was pretty useless trying to hide when I was literally standing in a public space. Whatever, I just needed to feel safe.

“We used to go out,” she said with a bit of a bite and a sarcastic nod. I stared at her, instantly hating that Wes left me. She probably waited for that moment, making sure I was alone, to get the kill and insult me and Wes. 

“Okay,” I shrugged, my eyes stilling on her. She really didn’t look at all familiar. I was half hoping maybe I just forgot who she was. Like maybe it was that Jules girl. But this woman looks very unfamiliar. And I hated that.

I looked past her shoulder and into the even busier seating area, towards the bathrooms. He seriously can’t be just pissing. He never takes this long! Holy hell I hate this.

“He’ll drop you the second he get’s bored of you. And if he doesn’t do it then.. He’ll do it the second things get rough,” she said, a little rudder than her previous remark. I swallowed roughly, my eyes going back to her. My eyebrows furrowed together as I stared at her. 

Of course, though, she was wrong. Things were currently rough, as one would put it. But did that mean he was bored of me. Shit what if she’s right? I mean, he could just be pretending to still be in love with me because he feels bad. What if he was just waiting till a good moment to leave? What if him going to the bathroom was him actually leaving? 

“How do you know?” I shot back, feeling an scared type of anger bubble in my chest. She stared at me and shook her head.

“He did it to me. It took me months to recover that break up,” she answered, and she answered pretty honestly too. I swallowed roughly again and shook my head.

“No, he won’t… I don’t believe you,” I said, my words breaking off at the end. I watched as a smile grew across her lips.

“Don’t come crying to me when he leaves you like he left me,” the woman spat. Seemingly, as if he was waiting for her to say that, Wes appeared out of nowhere, standing between me and the woman.

“Oh! Lucy! How’re you?” Wes asked, almost as if there was truely nothing wrong between me and his ex. Did he really not sense any sort of tension between us? God I bet the poor people around us probably could.

“Yeah, I’m good, Wes,” Lucy said as she looked back at Wes. She stared at him, a tense smile on her lips. “Who’s this?” she asked as she looked back at me. 

“Oh! This is Y/N! She’s my vet tech! And girlfriend,” he explained as he rested an arm around my back. I swallowed roughly as my whole body tensed. 

“It’s nice meeting you, Lucy,” I said almost cooly. She looked back at me, the tension in her smile melting into something friendly. Could she be just jealous? That’s probably the case. Everything she was saying before hand was just stuff to make me feel bad. 

“I better let you guys go. I’m running late for an appointment,” she explained as she looked between me and Wes. 

“Of course! It was nice seeing you again,” Wes said, making our farewell quick and harmless. I was, however, thankful that she was gone. But now it was back to just me and Wes. “Do you know what you want?” he asked as he looked over at me. I shrugged, mostly getting his arm off me. 

“I’ll just do iced coffee,” I replied. I was honestly probably not going to drink it. It’d just sit in his office. Wes hummed and nodded. My silence definitely went unnoticed when we stepped up to the till and he ordered his drink. When I didn’t order my drink, Wes smiled and ordered it for me. And then I was happy when the silence extended to his car. 

“Pups, are you sure you’re okay? You’ve been acting weird all day. I just wanted to make sure there isn’t a problem or anything,” Wes said as he pulled into the drive. I froze before I even had my hand on the handle to get out. 

How can he be so stupid?

“Oh, uh, no. No problem here for me,” I lied as I looked over at him. My teeth clenched together as my eyes met Wes’. I really hope he believed me. I mean he’s believed every other lie I told him today, and every day previously.

“No, no, I don’t believe you,” he said, locking the car doors. I looked at the lock before looking back at him. “I’m not letting you out of the car till you tell me what happened.”

“What?! What are you going to do if I don’t tell you?! Spank me? Make me write lines?! Ditch me because it’s too rough for you!?” I snapped back. My eyes met Wes again and I could really feel my anger. My blood was truly boiling and it felt nearly impossible too calm down. Who knew when I’d get calm again? 

I needed to get out of here. I needed to get out of his stupid car and out of stupid LA and away from this stupid city. Maybe mom and dad were right. Maybe I do need to go back to school. It’s a good thing I applied to several different places. And it’s an even better thing I got accepted some place across the country. 

I looked back at Wes as my finger hovered over the unlock button. The way I was happy when he let me go and didn’t bother following after when I slipped out of the car. Or… so I thought. I was wrong because a moment later, he said something.

“We need to talk about what happened! Okay! We need to talk this out. What happened? What’s the problem?” he asked. I could tell he was trying to stay calm and not get mad. He was doing a pretty good job at it, considering I’ve been acting like a goddamn child since we got out of work. 

If Wes wanted the truth then he was going to get the truth. I froze in my tracks before turning around to face him. He was a foot or two behind me, looking at me with immense worry. I stared at him, taking one step closer to him.

“You want to know what the problem is? You want to know what’s wrong?” I scoffed and shook my head. Wes kept his eyes on me as I started having a meltdown. “That bitch at the fucking coffee shop! She’s my goddamn problem, Wes!” I shouted as I carelessly shoved his shoulders. He looked at me like… Well he looked at me like I had just shoved him and pushed him away from me. I didn’t mean it. I really didn’t mean it. I was just mad. I know that’s not really an excuse. But… No, there was no excuse for it and I wished I could take it back.

 “What? Lucy? God, just ignore her. There was a reason why we stopped seeing each other. She doesn’t matter,” Wes said, pushing it off like it truly didn’t matter. But it did. It mattered more than anything. My feelings matter. That’s why it mattered.  

“Don’t put this off like it’s nothing, Wes! She said you just left her! And that you did the same to the people before her, and you’ll do the same to me!” I continued to shout as I took a step back. He stared at me, still shocked that I was still yelling at him. I wasn’t going to hold back though. I needed him to know how angry and how hurt I was.

“There’s obviously more to this than you’re letting on.”

“Yeah! No fucking shit, Wesley!” I snapped as I stepped away from him. 

“Pup,” Wes started and even took a step closer to me. When he went to reach out for my hand, I pulled it back away from him and stared at his face. 

 “Aw, don’t fucking ‘Pup’ me!” I shouted before finally entering the house. I quietly muttered profanities to myself as I stormed through the house, collecting my shit and tossing it into my small bag. I didn’t even care that nothing was fitting and stuff was falling out. Wes stayed pretty quiet, watching as I collected all my stuff and headed back to the front door.

“Wait, where… Where are you going?” Wes asked as he followed behind me. I froze when my hand hit the door knob. I didn’t actually want to leave. I just needed to be alone and not around Wes for the moment. Which meant I had to leave. 

“I’m going home. Nova needs me and…” My words trailed off and I shook my head. It was a bullshit answer. I didn’t know where I was going. My home just seemed like a safe answer.

“Are you coming back?” He asked as he looked at me. I swallowed roughly and shrugged.

“I just need to be alone for the night, Wes. Everything that’s been happening recently is just… I need to be alone,” I tried to explain. But there was really no way for me to explain it without sounding awful. And that made me feel just as bad. 

“You’re not breaking up with me, are you?” Wes asked with an obvious shake to his voice. I swallowed roughly again and finally turned to face him. I hated how dewy his eyes looked as he looked at me.

“No. I’m not breaking up with you, Wes. I’ll be back. I’m not sure when. But I’ll be back,” I whispered as I stared at him. He stared at me for a moment before dropping his gaze to the ground.

Part Twenty​-Six

[rosesdrabbleblog]

Doing Time

Pairing: Warden!Sam x Fem!reader

Warnings: smut, 18+ content, cursing.

Note: Everyone (including myself) is simping over Warden!Sam, so I thought I’d write about him to fuel all our thirst.

The prison loomed over you as you walked up to it. It was a rainy day, but you were thankfully prepared with an umbrella. You neared the entrance of the tall building, looking at the intricate architecture. Sam had come home many nights, exhausted over building the damn thing. You were always there with a hug and words of encouragement.

He had asked you to come visit on a work day. In fact, he seemed excited at the prospect. And how could you refuse him when he gave you the warmest smile?

That’s why you were here. You did your best to remind yourself of how to get Sam’s attention before seeing the large button at the entrance hall. You pressed it, waiting for something to happen. Eternity seemed to pass before a voice came over the intercom.

“State your name and business.”

You had never heard Sam sound so serious, or so scary. It kind of frightened you, as you were so used to his rather cheery self.

“Uh, hey love, it’s me? You asked for me to come?”

You waited again before he asked, “are you read to come through?”

“Of course.”

After a moment, the wall in front of you pushed back to reveal an ender portal.

“Walk through the portal, and let me know when you’ve gone through.”

You did so without hesitation.

You were confused when you spawned into a smaller section. “Wait, what? You built a section in the nether? I’ve never seen it...”

“You can go back into the portal again.”

Figures he wouldn’t reveal anything.

You stepped back in, even more confused, expecting to be back at the entrance hall. Instead, you were greeted by Sam in a much larger room. Sam was wearing his amour, along with a mask and helmet covering his face. To be quite honest, it was a bit unnerving.

“Welcome to the prison. Before you enter, you need to do something first. Come forward and I will discuss the waiver with you.”

You stepped forward, glancing down at the waiver in front of you. It wasn’t particularly long, but it sent a chill down your spine that you had to sign it.

“You will read the waiver out loud to me so I know you actually read it. Then-”

You cut him off, “wait, am I visiting Dream? I thought I was visiting you?”

He looked at you. “Don’t cut me off.”

He went back to discussing the waiver as you questioned to yourself what he was doing. As far as you were concerned, you were getting a tour, not visiting Dream. You had barely spoken to him, and you disliked him after hearing all of the sick and twisted things he had done. Sam had told you late one night, “he tells me all the stuff he did to Tommy. The exile, the manipulation, all of it. I have to hear that twisted fuck talk about the horrible things he did every damn day. It’s so messed up.”

Your thoughts were interrupted when Sam spoke up, “do you understand all that?”

You looked back up into his mask again, searching for a hint of his eyes. “Y-yes.”

“Good. Then read the waiver and we can proceed forward.”

You looked down at the waiver, feeling a bit nervous as you read through it. Why did this situation seem off? You knew Sam had to take his job seriously, but why with you?

You began to read the waiver, “I hereby assume all the risks of of visiting the holding cell, including by way of example and not limitation, any risks that may arise from negligence or carelessness on the part of the Prison guards, prisoners misbehaving, from dangerous or defective equipment or property owned, maintained, or controlled by the Prison Guards. I certify that I waive, release, and discharge the Prison from any and all liability, including but not limited to, death, disability, personal injury, property damage, property theft, or actions of any kind which may hereafter occur to me, including my traveling to and from visiting the Prisoner. Written name, then sign-“

“Do you understand all that?” Sam asked, tilting his head slightly at you.

You nodded,” I understand. I sign it now, yes?” He simply nodded. And with that, you signed your name on the waiver.

“Good. Now if you follow me to the lockers over here...put your belongings in this chest here. I will lock it and you can collect your belongings after your visit. You will take the key after and put it in your ender chest.”

You stared at him,” everything?”

He nodded.

You slowly put everything your had on you in the chest, before locking it with the key that popped out. You followed him out of the room, jumping as the door slammed closed behind you. He reminded you what to do with the key again, which your put into the ender chest at the desk.

“Now, what was your relationship with Dream before his imprisonment?”

This question confused you, “I never really had one with him.”

“Tell me what you did have.”

“What’s with these questions Sam? I don’t even want to visit the damn man.”

Even though he wore a mask, you could tell Sam was annoyed.

“Just answer my question.”

You sighed before saying, “we spoke once, where I asked him what happened to Tommy. It was after I went away from L’Manberg for a bit, and came back to find Tommy gone. He told me he had been exiled. And that was all that was said. I hate that bastard for the things he did to people I call friends. To people I call family. I hope he rots.”

If Sam was taken aback by your statement, he didn’t show it. Instead, he asked,” are you willing to submit to any and all physical exams?”

You choked on air,” I’m sorry, what?”

He simply stared at you, waiting for an answer. You thought this was a strange question but responded with a “yes.”

“Do you acknowledge you may not bring anything into the prison with you?”

You patted down your empty pockets, “yes.”

“And do you recognize that I am the ultimate authority on the grounds of the prison?”

“Yes, of course.”

“Whatever I say goes. If I were to tell you to drop on all fours, you would have to do it.”

This sentence made your jaw drop, “wait, what?”

“Do you understand?”

You stared into his mask for a moment, questioning what was happening to yourself. This really wasn’t what you expected when Sam said he wanted to show you the prison.

You realized you hesitated a bit too long, so you simply said, “yes.”

The man nodded, “good, now you can follow me into this room here.” You followed him down a corridor, where a bed was placed in a small section of the wall. “Normally, I would have you set your spawn point here and kill you to make sure you didn’t defy my orders, but this time will be a bit different. Continue to follow me,” he said as he continued to walk down a different hallway. You followed him quietly, taking in your surroundings as you did. He lead you through more sections of the prison, briefly telling you about the sections you passed by. One in particular made him stop,” this is where I’d take visitors to the prisoner, but you’re not here for that, are you?” Sam looked back to glance at you before walking again.

Finally, you were lead to an office area, where a few surveillance screens sat at a large desk. Some cameras were at various hallways, while there was one in the prison cell itself. On the small screen, you could see Dream was writing away in a book, almost as if he wasn’t the most despised man on the entire server.

“This is where we keep tabs on the prisoner. That way, he- wait a moment,” Sam paused, looking at you quizzically, “I never did follow protocol after you agreed to the terms.”

You raised an eyebrow, “protocol?”

He nodded, “I believe I mentioned it to you in passing, about the spawn point and killing you to make sure you didn’t disobey me.” He clicked his tongue, “no no no, this won’t do at all. I’m going to have to give you a pat down. If I find a single item on you, you will have to suffer the consequences for your actions.”

Your face began to heat up at that, “I can assure you dear, I have nothing on me, but you can check if it makes you feel any better.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

And with that, he flipped you over to face the desk, running his hands all along your body hungrily. After checking that you didn’t actually have anything on you, he purred, “good girl, listening to what I say. You would do anything I asked, wouldn’t you?”

This wasn’t how you expected the prison tour to go, but you certainly weren’t complaining. You nodded at his words.

Sam hummed as he dragged his gloved hands along your back, making small circles on it. “Since you’ve done so well for me, I should give you a reward. Would you like that?” He pushed up against you, and you could feel how hard he was through his trousers. You let out a whimper and nodded again.

He pulled down your pants after your affirmation, beginning to tease you through your panties. “Someone’s excited,” he commented, and you could tell he was grinning despite the mask that still covered his face. He pressed his fingers against you harder, before nearly ripping your panties off right after. Sam pushed a finger into you gently, letting out a chuckle at your loud whimper. “Atta girl, that’s it...” he said softly as he added another right after, finally allowing you to adjust. You whimpered again at the intrusion, his praise getting into your head and making you feel warm. He began to thrust his fingers gently, slowly working up to a faster speed. You clung to the desk, moans passing your lips loudly. At one point, you went to grab his hand, but missed entirely and flipped a small switch on the desk. You didn’t even notice, instead finally grabbing his hand to hold as he sped his fingers up even more. You could feel yourself getting close as you whined out, “Sam...Sam please I-“

He grunted, “are you close?” You nodded and let out another whine. Sam pressed his fingers into you harder, “then cum on my fingers. Be a good girl for me.” And with that praise, you came on his fingers, gripping the desk even harder as you came down from your high. Your moment was shortly interrupted.

“If you’re going to do this, please don’t make me listen to it.”

Sam tore off his mask, his eyes glued to one of the small screens. With a realization, he glanced at the small switch you had accidentally flicked. Something dark came over his face as he yanked his pants and boxers off. With a “hang on for me,” he gently thrust inside you. You let out a whimper at that, glancing at the screen in embarrassment. “Sam! He can hear us!” you nearly yelled. Now you could see the wild grin that came across his face, “let him hear you. Let him hear how good I make you feel. I’ve had to listen to him talk about all the shit he’s done, but he’s at my mercy now. And I won’t let him have any. So scream for me.” And with that, he began pounding into you roughly, gripping your throat and squeezing gently. You couldn’t hold back the moans and whimpers, and instead pushed back against him in an attempt to get him to go even faster. You heard Dream make a sound of disgust as he attempted to go back to writing in his book, but you didn’t really care. Maybe Sam was right, maybe Dream did deserve a taste of his own medicine.

Sam, with one hand on your throat and the other on your hips, was biting your neck roughly, desperate to leave dark bruises behind. “So good for me, such a good little thing. You’re going to make me cum feeling this good, “ he groaned into your ear. You whimpered out, nearly hanging onto the desk for dear life as he pounded into you. Sam sped up his thrusts even more, nearing his own release. Doing this did the same for you, and you could feel yourself tighten around him. “You’re close, aren’t you? Need to cum on my cock? Do it, scream for me,” Sam groaned in your ear, letting out a pleased sound as you followed his order. Soon after, he came inside you, taking his time to pull out after. The two of you clung to each other, panting. As you began to get dressed, Sam spoke to Dream, “maybe now we can come to an agreement about what we say over the intercom. Don’t tell me your shit, and you don’t have to hear that again.” Dream made no response, only looking towards the camera, his mask seemingly staring right into his soul.

Sam flicked the switch back before turning to you, face red and sweaty. “I’ll be honest, I was originally going to give you a proper tour,” he joked with a smile. You laughed, happy to see regular Sam back. “Were you?” you teased. “I was!” he said defensively. He began to get dressed again as well, everything besides his mask at least. He led you out of his office, directing you how to exit the prison properly. “You’re not coming back with me?” you asked. Sam shook his head, “my shift won’t be taken over until later. But I promise I’ll make it up to you later.” With that, he kissed you gently before escorting you out, whispering praises into your ear as he did so.

Oh how you loved that man.

[sweater-daddiesdumbdork]

Attack Of The Winter Wolf: Revealed

Summary- 7.7k Alpha Steve x Little One Reader. Steve and you pack up in the Stark Jet and head across the ocean, this time to Norway. Steve seems to think that there will be the answers needed to help your friends for good. Divider made by @firefly-graphics

Warnings- None

A/N- Those that have stuck with me through this, thank you. I hope this isn’t turning into a “what the hell are you trying to do Amber” kind of deal. Haha. I don’t have any real answers, its just whats coming out. Anyways, thank you for reading, as always its so appreciated to hear what your thoughts are on it. Happy Howling 🐺💙

Chapter Three / Masterlist

It was a rush the following morning, Steve and Tony were busy checking over the jet being loaned for the mission. Meanwhile Pepper showed you around the giant Stark Towers. The last time you had been here you were unconscious, not remembering any of it. Pepper’s heels clicking against linoleum, while you rushed after the fast paced Alpha who was doing two tasks at once. But once she led you on the elevator, hitting some buttons, she tucked her tablet under her arm, turning her attention to you with a relaxed smile. 

“Dr. Banner has been wanting to officially meet you.” She stated as an explanation for the elevator ride. Twiddling your fingers, you shuffled foot to foot a bit nervous, only knowing the doctor had been where Steve rushed you to first when Pierce injected you. 

When the elevator door dinged and the two of you stepped out to what looked like a medical wing. A dark haired man stepped out while flipping through a chart muttering to himself when Pepper cleared her throat. “Bruce, you have a visitor.” His head lifted, blinking at them from over his glasses frames, confused as to who would want to intrude on him. But then recognition crossed his features and he snapped his clipboard shut, striding over. 

“Y/N! Pepper told me Steve was coming back this way for help, and I was hoping he would bring you.” His hand popped out to shake yours. You welcomed it with a tilt of your head, drawing in his scent. A part of you recognized him, the hint of warmth and freshness. 

“ Dr.Banner a pleasure… Steve told me what you had done for me, thank you for everything.” 

Bruce sputtered a bit, giving a shrug. “Ahh, I wasn’t able to do much, just send you along to someone better able to handle what happened to you. Umm, do you have a few minutes? I just really would like to ask you a few questions about your experience. If you are okay with that of course.” He added almost shyly and you smiled reassuringly. 

“I have no problem with that Dr.Banner.” 

“Bruce please.” Bruce looked expectantly at Pepper who checked her watch and nodded. 

“We got time, Tony will have Friday call for us when the jet is ready.” Bruce immediately turned on his heels and led the two of you towards his office. 

Steve went through the jet, checking all the gear stashed on board as well as settling in the controls chair to make sure he was familiar with everything before leaving Stark towers. Tony plopped in the one next to him, making the Alpha in Steve rumble at the intrusion but Steve was able to placate him. 

“So off to Norway huh?” Tony leaned forward to enter the coordinates in the dash for the autopilot. “What's in Norway that can help you with everything?” 

Steve growled as he continued going over the controls. “You saw the file Fury sent along Stark. You know exactly who is there.” 

“Okay you got me.” Tony finished what he was doing and turned the chair to face Steve. “I also know he's basically a recluse now and the chance of you getting him to talk is almost nada, zip, zilch. What makes you think he's gonna spill what you need.” 

“I have my ways…” Steve said coldly, his wolf growling softly at the other Alpha in his space. 

Tony gave a mock shiver. “Alright alright… just be careful okay? I know we're not on the best terms Steve but I do have a lot of respect for what you are trying to do.” 

Steve arched a brow and shook his head. “We’re not enemies Tony, I don’t happen to agree or appreciate that stunt you pulled with Ross. But I think now my stance on that shit is known. We can disagree and still be fine.” Tony next to him brushed it off while continuing with the switches, making his own adjustments to the system. 

“I know Steve, it was still a shitty move on my part, bringing Ross into your home, where your mate was after everything that happened. But she certainly put me in my place.” He laughed, recalling how you kicked all of them out.

Steve glanced at Tony from the corner of his eye and rumbled out a “Thank you Stark, Y/N certainly isn't taking anyone's shit, not anymore.” Tony snorted in agreement to that statement. 

“I don’t think they ever do, Pepper is the same damn way.” 

Steve laughed in return, knowing full well that everything Tony said was accurate about Pepper Potts, Tony had chosen well for himself in Steve’s opinion. For all the tension between Steve and Tony, he respected the Alpha next to him, and knew that finding his packmates was just as important to Tony as it was to Steve. Not to mention finding those responsible for Happy’s murder. Steve turned his chair to face the other Alpha. “I’m sorry about what happened to Happy Tony. I know it’s hard to have lost someone who was family to you.” 

Tony blinked at him, warring with his own feelings about everything that happened. Losing Happy so brutally had taken a toll on Tony, finding the body having been dumped just outside of his territory, he still hadn’t been able to fully come to terms with it. “Thank you. Finding the bastards who did that has become my main priority.” Clapping his hands together to end the topic, he moved to a stand. “You Rogers are ready to go, ready to Captain my jet?” 

Steve waited till Tony moved out of his space before moving to follow him off the jet, keeping quiet about the further mention of Tony seeking out Happy’s killer. After seeing what had happened with Bucky and the rest, he already had his own sinking suspicions as to who killed Happy and he knew Tony did as well. 

“More than ready to go.” Steve stated, coming down the steps off the jet. Tony spoke up right then. 

“Friday, let Pepper and Y/N know that Captain Rogers is ready.” That caused Steve to roll his eyes and fold his arms over his chest. 

“Seriously Tony?” 

A smirk flashed, Tony winked at him. “Come on, I think it's a fitting title for you.”

Bruce was furiously writing notes while you described to him what you remembered being under due to the drug Pierce had injected you with when the AI Friday announced that the jet was ready, as well as Captain Rogers. You and Pepper quirk a confused look at one another, and she rolled her eyes with a sigh. “That's gotta be Tony’s doing I'm sure.” 

You nod in agreement, turning back to Bruce. “Looks like it's time for me to go Dr.Banner…” 

“Bruce.” He was quick to interrupt and moved to a stand to shake your hand. “Thank you so much for this.” He tapped his pad of paper where he had all the notes jotted. “I will put them in my file to share with Shuri. All this is incredibly helpful knowing more about the serum used on you.” 

Giving a vigorous shake back, you smiled genuinely at Bruce, you and your Little Wolf feeling quite relaxed with the man. “If I think of anything, I will be sure to send an email.” The Little Wolf flicked her tail in agreement, half listening while she was napping. 

“Oh! Yes please do with anything you might remember, no bit of information is too small.”   

Pepper walked out with you and joined you in the elevator. Reaching the top of Stark Towers, you both were greeted by Steve and Tony, who waited just inside the jet. As soon as you saw Steve, warmth washed over you, feeling that bond between you two hum happily, your wolves sought each other, in the moment they both were teasing each other, making your mood lift from having to leave once more. The genuine pleasure at seeing Steve melded that away, just as his own did, the wolves happiness being together melded with your own. Steve enclosed you in his arms, nuzzling the crown of your head a moment before questioning if you were all set.

“Tony Stark is funding another trip for us? I’m absolutely ready.” You joked as Steve let you go so you could turn to face Tony who scoffed at you. 

“Don’t let Cap here defile my jet please!” Tony was sure to give you his signature hug, that made Steve rumble a bit although you instead laughed and gave a bop of your shoulder. 

“No promises Stark. Pepper, thank you for showing me around your home.” Embracing her in a thank you. 

“Stay safe and bring my jet back quickly, Cap.” Tony pipped up while walking off the jet with Pepper, cackling to himself at the finger Steve threw up while the doors shut you two in. 

The Alpha muttered to himself while dropping into the pilot's seat and you were quick to join him on the opposite side. You buckled in while he flicked on buttons. “Captain Rogers?” you questioned watching him get the jet ready. 

Steve rolled his eyes as he made sure everything was set and handed you a headset while fitting his own on, the jet rumbling to life around you. “Tony thinks he is very slick, giving nicknames. Apparently Cap is his new one for me.” 

You smirked at him, winking as you settled the headset on and spoke into the microphone. “I think Captain Rogers has its benefits, Steve.” 

His hand went around the handle and started to push it forward, edging the jet forward to take off, the spanse of New York City below you. Much like the night before, you marveled at the beauty only a city could offer. “You would Little One.” 

A voice piped up over the channel, Tony coming over the comms. “I think your mate has a point Cap.” 

Steve growled into the comm for a second while you started laughing in the seat next to him. “Tony! Get off this channel.” 

“It's my jet, Rogers! I will listen in if I want.” He was about to continue when Steve took off his headset, setting the jet on autopilot with the coordinates. 

You snickered into the system. “Sorry Tony, Steve is cutting you off. Bye Stark.” You effectively cut Tony off and slipped the head set off, setting it aside while you leaned forward to get a better look out the window, unbuckling in the process. “You know since I have been with you Steve, I have seen things I never thought I would. Look at this.” You directed your gaze at the expanse of the sky before you, baby blue as far as the eye could see, the skyline rushing closer till the two of you crossed over the cities edged, now nothing but the Atlantic underneath you. “Beautiful.” 

Steve settled back to admire what you were looking at, letting some of his worries sink to the back of his mind. “It is… sometimes I forget you haven't seen all this before.” He held out his arm for you to join him, which you pushed from your seat and settled in his lap, his chin resting on your shoulder. “Do you remember much from the last time I showed you?” 

You perch on his knee and look over the dash, worrying your lip. “Mmh barely.�� Your eyes roved over the panels while Steve dragged the tip of his nose along the curve of your neck, inhaling against it and letting it settle him further. Both the man and Alpha wanted to enjoy the long flight with you. 

“I guess we will be getting a crash course, Little One.” He rumbled happily while you seated yourself into a more comfortable position in his lap. 

You looked over your shoulder at him, your eyes laughing at his remark and bringing the exact response he wanted. “Really Captain?” 

Tightening his arm around your waist, he nipped at your lips with teasing affection. “Tony isn't the only funny one around here.” 

Steve spent a few hours describing the functions and some of how to fly. Together you both got to watch the sun going down and eventually you started napping in the copilot's seat, even though Steve tried to get you to go lay down in the back. 

These quiet moments, Steve wandered back to his memories, the Alpha in his mind lifting his head from the Little Wolf’s back where he had laid to rest, flicking his ears back and forth a bit at Steve’s thoughts. 

The first thing that came to memory was the stinging scent of smoke.

“Rogers, don't you dare go into that building!” Fury’s voice commanded Steve who stalled in the doorway, peering into Hydras base, nose flaring trying to catch scent of their missing comrades. “You are not commander in this mission.” 

“But Buck and the rest might be in there… I'm going” Steve defied Fury, darting into the darkness and out of sight, Fury's voice echoing behind him. 

“ROGERS! GET YOUR ASS BACK OUT HERE!” 

Steve continued forward, letting his Wolf out enough to sharpen his senses. His eyes picking up the bit of light in the darkened hallways leading deeper into the compound, his eyes glimmer dangerously in the dark looking for any sign of movement. He could sense others nearby, friend or foe though he was unsure. Footsteps silent, Steve once in a while looking behind him tense to make sure no one knew he was there. Glances in rooms showed them abandoned, cleared in a haste to get out before Shield got there Steve was sure. Ahead he heard scuffles and growls, chains clanking and the sound of voices in hushed tones. The Wolf lowered to his belly, quivering in anticipation should Steve allow him to take over. He eased the door open with a creak when relief washed over him. 

There men, most of them in large cages. Familiar scents washed over him and they all perked sensing Steve. 

“Rogers is that you?” Someone muttered while Steve approached, searching for a key anywhere in a nearby desk. 

“Yes, the rest of the troop is just outside. We haven't found anyone though. Where is everyone?” 

“Bolted man, once they heard Fury was coming they grabbed their shit and left. They didn’t have the bodies to defend this place.” Dugan responded as he pushed to the front watching while Steve searched the desk. Steve opened the last drawer, cursing as he pushed aside papers and flung them to the side. Then he was rewarded with a ring full of keys. Rushing over, the two men tried sorting through them, Steve stuffing them one by one in the locks, quick to go to the next till they found another. 

“They left us and their experiments.” Dugan continued filling Steve in while he tried to find the right keys. “Some messed up stuff, they are in the next room I think.”

The Alpha rumbled to catch Steve’s attention. <Bucky isn’t with them.> The mans head whipped up while the lock clicked finally, able to pry it open and release his packmates. 

“Where is Buck?”  

“Bucky… he was brought in there and never came back out.” another said, pointing at the door across the room.

The Alpha rumbled suddenly in an alert and Steve tensed and whipped around when an eerily sharp howl sounded through the building. Dugan pushed the door open, tensing as well. “That's one of them, their experiments.” 

Steve wrangled the keys out of the lock and started to go down the line, unlocking each cage, shifters passing him to get outside. 

“Fury, you have outcoming hostages, they are friendly, don't fire.” Steve spoke into the comm. 

“I hear you Rogers.” Came Fury’s voice in a wave of static. “Any unfriendlies?” 

“No, Dugan notified me they all bailed once they heard we were coming” Steve responded before turning to his friend. “Dugan, get the rest out of here, I’m going to keep looking.” 

His friend bared his teeth at him, bristling at the notion. “You don’t know what's back there Rogers.” 

“If I have to, I will retreat, get these men out of here. I’m not leaving anyone behind.” Steve growled back deeper, the Alpha in him asserting himself and the man backed off with a disgruntled nod. 

Waiting to make sure they were going to leave, Steve approached the door cautiously, using his senses to pick up what might be on the other side, who might be on the other side. He was praying for a miracle, because nothing but death filled his senses as he eyed the door, drawing in any scent left behind. It was all jumbled, multitudes of men and women have passed through the threshhold, making it almost impossible to pinpoint any specific person. “Well… let's see what's on the other side.” Steve shouldered through the door and a lab stretched before him, ominous equipment stretched on either side. A groan came from somewhere ahead and Steve paused till he heard it again. It was so distinct to him that the hair on the back of his neck prickled, the Alphas own fur raising as well along the ridge of his back, it was another Alpha, but this one they knew. 

“Oh thank fucking god.” Steve uttered as he rushed forward to find Bucky strapped down and Steve started pulling at the straps holding him down. Wires were strapped all over Bucky's neck and chest and stretched to attach to some equipment, Steve started yanking them off as well when finally Bucky started to come around. 

“S-Steve?” His eyes sharpened and he clutched at Steve's uniform, worried that he wasn't real. 

“It’s me Buck, we’re getting out of here.” Steve tried assuring him, keeping his voice light and calm even though he was far from that. He had never seen Bucky so scared. Suddenly the howling started again from the back of the room and both men glanced that way. 

“Whoever it is just keeps doing that.” Bucky muttered when a voice crackled in the comms. 

“In-ing” then static sounded in Steve's ear, making him wince as he pressed his hand over his ear. 

“Repeat? What was that Fury?” 

“In-oming! G-t Ou-” The building started to shake and lights started zapping and popping around them. 

“We ca-t hold hi-, Get O-” Fury yelled into the comm but Steve had to rip it out, electricity zapping through it and breaking it up too much. Bucky gripped Steve tighter, his pupils blown in his panic. 

“What the fuck is it now?!” 

“I don't know… but we gotta get out of here.” Bucky started pulling Steve towards the exit, but whatever was in the back rattled its cage with a savage snarl, and Steve couldn’t leave who ever or what ever it was behind. He stuttered to a stop, Bucky pausing at the door with a shake of his head. 

“Man, we got to go… there isn't enough time.” 

Steve’s hands dropped to his pants and felt madly for the keys he had stuffed in his pocket earlier. “We can’t leave him in there Buck.” He waved his hand. “Go, I got this.” 

Bucky cursed but held tight, refusing to leave Steve behind.  

Steve raced towards the cage to free whatever was inside, shoving the key he used before into the lock and it clicked to open. Glowering green eyes blinked at him from the shadowed part of the cage, but he couldn't make anything else out in the seconds he got the door open. Bucky was screaming his name and when he managed to get the door to swing wide, a bundle of black sprang on his chest, bared white fangs yawning open going for Steve’s throat….

“Steve- Steve?” Your voice cut through and he shook his head a bit to clear it before looking at you. 

“Sorry, I thought you were sleeping Little One.” 

“I was, but the computer started beeping on the dash.” You pointed to a blinking light and Steve leaned forward to check the system, smiling. 

“We're here and just in time to. Look” He pointed out the window at the faint purple in the skyline, the sun easing up beyond the cloud cover to turn a brilliant red and orange of dawn. When Steve took over, he started to drop the jet down. Below the clouds the land turned a deep almost emerald wild green shimmering with mist stretching like tendrils to a spiderweb over the land, still in the early morning phase of waking up. 

You weren't lying earlier when you said you saw things you had never expected. From the rainforest and safari of Wakanda to the lush greenery of Norway, you soaked it all in with awe. So long spent locked away in a room, gazing with longing at the upper windows that offered nothing more than peeks of the sky. Now you soared over the world with your Mate. Even the Little Wolf was in awe, slithering away from where the Alpha was half sleeping and prancing excitedly with joy at the adventure. The Alpha stretched out, arching his back and padded heavily after her, nuzzling her affectionately while her tail waved back and forth, unable to stay still in her excitement. 

“The Little Wolf is excited.” You told Steve and he winked at you. 

“I can feel it. What do you say we take her down?” 

Steve easily maneuvered the Stark Jet down to land in a wide open field bordering the ocean. You followed him towards the doors swinging open and already wolves appeared from the long grass with tilted heads checking out the newcomers. You sidled up to Steve’s side a moment, watching the wolves dart back out of sight in the tall grass and heard their howls break the silence, announcing their arrival. It was a welcome sound, you couldn't detect any hostility in the notes. But their songs were so different. Sounded much older, almost like a language all its own. 

Steve cupped his hand and gave a sharp “We’re here” yip, that was answered resoundingly from all around you, the pack having circled you two and remained just out of sight. His arm lowered around your shoulders and you held your breath, unsure of what to expect. A bellow came, joyful and loud as a tall blonde man, even taller than Steve stepped out, his arms opened wide in greeting. 

“Why what a surprise! Are you here for the Asgard hospitality? I didn't think anything would ever get you to leave your corner in the world.” The over sized man strode towards them rather quickly, and the closer he came the more your eyes widened. You didn't think you had seen anyone who was as bigger then Steve in stature. He clasped Steve's shoulder and directed his joyful gaze down at you. “And who is this lovely maiden you bring with you?” 

“If I could be there, trust me I would. This is my mate, Y/N. Y/N, this is Thor, the Alpha here.” Steve protectively wrapped an arm around you, even though you wore his mark for Thor to see, Alphas always had a bit of tension between them no matter how much their human counterparts tried to quell it. 

Thor though seemed unaware of such a vibe as he beamed down at you warmly. “Well Little Pup, welcome to Asgard.” He took your hand in a vigorous pump and you couldn't help but warm right up to him and his exuberant nature. “We run free and feast like we are in the halls of the Old Kings here.” He swept the both of you down the path and all around his wolves started to howl and dance in a joyful manner, playing among each other much like they were participating in the Full Moon Run. “Now Rogers does tell me what has been going on across the water? It's been a while since I've visited there.” 

“Afraid we have been having some issues.” Steve started, filling Thor in on the recent attacks, taking apart the packs and capturing the Alpha’s. The viciousness in the attacks and the destruction left behind. Thor listened patiently until Steve mentioned Hydra. That's when he paused, you and Steve having taken a few steps ahead but noticed he wasn't with you. You turned to see him glowering. 

“That's why you are here, Rogers, isn't it? Because of Hydra. He wont talk to you about it you know.” 

Steve sighed and you had a sinking feeling about the situation, not fully understanding what was going on. 

“I have to try Thor, your brother was the only one who was able to break from the collars power and the mind shit Hydra does to their victims.” 

“He barely interacts with any of us Steve, he mostly stays as his animal out there.” Thor retorted, the sky started to darken slightly and you frowned to yourself at the sudden change in atmosphere while glancing up. 

Steve sighed, letting his arms hang loose at his sides to show Thor he was no threat to him. “I know Odinson, trust me. I wouldn’t be here if there was any other way. Packs, families are all being killed off, Alphas removed. How long till you think it will be till it comes over here?” Steve pointed out and Thor’s face twisted and he looked away. 

“It won’t be like before, I won’t let it.” 

“You don't know that… Shield risked sending the Howling Commando’s over here to help your people, now I’m asking for your help. Just let me try talking to him?” 

Your heart twisted as you saw Thor try to control his emotions on his face and you reached out to touch his arm, Steve for once kept quiet, inhaling deeply to keep himself in check. “Hydra really hurt him, didn't they? If it's too much we will just leave. Right Steve?” 

“If you tell me absolutely not Thor, she’s right. We will leave right now and not bother you again.” 

Thor glanced back at you, his eyes searching yours and you could see everything he was doing was about protecting this person. You bit at your lip nervously, you knew you were invading this Alpha’s space but stepped in closer anyways. “Please let us try? We just want to save those we still have left. Our packmates are fighting a losing battle with Hydra, we don't want to lose them.” 

A sigh escaped the man and he glanced over your head to Steve. “You're lucky you have her you know… she’s softened me. Slightly.” You stepped back towards Steve, who now laid his hand around your waist, chuckling softly. 

“You really don’t know half of it, she has a gift.” You wriggled in his hold a bit but he just tightened his fingers against you. “Thank you Thor for letting us try.” 

He shrugged at you both with a shake of his head. “I'm still saying that he wont talk to you, but I will show you where he stays when he is not hunting.” 

Steve gave a nod of appreciation while you reached for his hand and gave a light squeeze. “Thank you Thor.” You gave your own sentiments. 

The man looked at the two of you a moment, his eyes falling to your linked hands and motioned across the moors. “This way…” He cupped his hands, giving another howling song and the wolves joined them, spreading around Thor, these wolves were even larger than Mountain Packs wolves, giant beasts that were moving gracefully around there Alpha. You could feel the ground beneath your footfalls vibrating from there movements, the lush grass swishing to add to the melody of it all. Above them the thunder still rumbled with strong booms that cackled with electricity but had retreated from the fierceness it had flared up earlier. 

Your Little Wolf kneaded her paws next to the Alpha, lifting her head to inhale the air around them, it spoke of a wildness she was not used to. Something feral that did not adhere to normal pack constraints. The Alpha rumbled next to her, now and then dropping his muzzle to his mate to reassure her, but the pull to shift for both of them was strong. 

You could tell Steve felt it as well, the way he angled his body close to yours in a protective manner, his hand moving from a simple hold to pressing against your hip, wrapping around you. You tilted your head up towards Steve, your confusion clouding your features. He dropped his head to press a nip to your neck, whispering softly just for you. “I will explain later.” 

Thor paused in front of a wood that looked ancient, the gnarled trees had stories to tell. Shadows played deeper beyond the edge, enticing you to wander in. Your Little Wolf huffed slightly, breaking the enchantment you had fallen into. 

<This isn't just a forest Y/N, something powerful lives here.> Her ears flattened and you could feel her unease and the Alpha’s wariness sharpening, his ears pricked forward before twisting listening. 

What is it? You questioned your Little Wolf and she whined unsure. You felt the Alpha slip away, in the same moment Steve tilted his face up, his nostrils flaring. You knew he was scenting for any kind of danger that might come from the old forest.

Next to you Thor boomed out loudly, making it echo. “Come out Loki!” You and the Little Wolf perked, hearing the woods shift and groan, shadows danced closer when a streamlined black shadow emerged to turn solid, the beast was streamlined. His size shifting to grow larger in the presence of you and Steve, a sharp pointed muzzle turned towards you and ears twitched with interest as he took you both in. You were a bit taken aback when you saw Loki, but he paused just after the forest ended and you could see the tip of his nose twitching, green eyes with almost emerald qualities glinting with the bit of light that somehow seemed to filter from the thunderous clouds still rumbling above you. 

What do we have here? An omega to Rogers? A true Omega? Oh what a prize he really does have here. I wonder if he knows… A voice tickled your senses and the Little Wolf spun in your mind, searching for the intrusion. The Alpha returned to the Little Wolf, curling around her with a growl and a laugh echoed through you, not one that belonged to you. 

“Steve…” You whined a bit and he furrowed his brow looking at you, confused as well as to what was going on, feeling you through your bond. 

“Rogers is here to talk with you Loki, come out and quit playing games Brother.” Thor folded muscular arms across his chest and the black canine shimmered an emerald green while disappearing in a wisp of shadow and a sharp yip barking out from nowhere. 

A resounding defiant No. 

Thor shook his head at Steve. “Loki won't interact with Alphas short of me Steve, not since Shield pulled him from Hydra.” 

The Little Wolf unweaved from the Alpha when she heard Thor. 

<Y/N, we’re not an Alpha. Maybe he will talk to us.> 

Steve would never allow us to go in there alone. 

<It's the only way, Loki won't talk to Steve. He's too much of a threat to him. Say something, that big Alpha doesn't seem scared that Loki will hurt us.> 

You took a deep breath and while Thor and Steve discussed other options, you turned to the men, catching there attention. “Let me go in and talk to him.” Steve immediately barked out a no, but Thor tilted his head, considering what you were saying. “I'm not an Alpha, he won't be threatened by me, right Thor?” You pressed for an answer from the man and he nodded. 

“Your Little Pup has a point, Rogers. Loki wouldn't hurt her. I will escort her inside so she’s protected the whole way.” 

Steve felt his chest expand as he drew up to his full height. “I'm not letting Y/N go in by herself, I know you trust your brother, but I don't.” His eyes flared yellow, the Alpha close to the surface with concerns of your safety. You could see that he was winding up to call all this off when you reached up to grasp his face between your palms, tilting his head to look directly at you. 

“Alpha trust me, I know I can do this.” You stressed to him, the furrow in his forehead deepening as you knew he was at war with himself. “If anything is wrong, I will call you. Let me do this.” His hands circled your wrists and you felt that war inside of him. The same one where it was ingrained in him to keep you safe at all costs. It was all right there, flooding through the bond you two shared, your confidence, his worry. Steve huffed slightly before lifting his gaze from yours.  

“Thor, give me a moment with my mate please.” Steve requested and Thor moved away, closer towards the border of his brother’s forest, his broad back turned towards the two of you while he waited. “Little One, if something happens. Loki isn't a normal wolf…” 

“I could tell that as soon as we came near here.” You let your fingers press through his beard on his cheeks and slide down to his neck, sure to rub his scent against you in the process as well as sharing calming touches. “But he has the answers we need, Alpha.” 

Steve knew you were right, but the inner battle was fierce. The Alpha wanted to protect his mate, an animalistic need to not let you go into that forest, every fiber of his being was on edge because of it. His human side knew you could do this and get the answer to save their pack mates. You were confident, he needed to trust you like you asked. 

<Don't you let her go in there with that Alpha. What is Loki going to do to stop us.> 

Loki is not all Wolf as you well know, he won't tolerate the intrusion. 

The Alpha bristled aggressively, licking his muzzle over and over nervously. <We won't be there to protect her should he turn on her.> 

But Thor will be… You know as much as I do that he wouldn't let any get hurt in his care. 

“Trust me Alpha.” Your fingers trailed along the mark you had left on him, your mark that made him belong to you. The most sacred of bonds a mated pair could share and made in the utmost trust that you two would take care of each other. 

She is asking us to trust her. If we can’t trust in our mate, then what hope do we have? Steve was firm and the Alpha had to concede to him. 

Steve moved his hands to your face, cupping the most important part of his life gently in his palms as he inhaled deeply and tipped his forehead against yours. “Little One, if anything happens, anything at all, call for me. I will come get you.” 

The corners of your mouth lifted and he saw it go to your eyes, pride and strength that your Alpha was trusting you to go in his place. “Of course Alpha.” You lifted to catch his lips, nuzzling your nose against his. “I know you will come for me if I need you.” You embraced him fiercely, Steve let his nose bury in the crown of your head and then let you go against his instincts. The Wolf rumbled, anxious as he paced watching you reach Thor. His eyes reached the other Alphas. “Thor…” 

“I understand what is at stake. No harm will come to her, I swear it.” 

You looked so tiny next to the man, your head tilted up to look at him with a warm smile and Thor's tilted down to look back at you. Steve watched the same warm smile cross Thor's face, making your mate proud of you, how easily you had already won Thor over. You had come so far from the runaway he first met and your warmth spread so easily to those around you. Maybe Loki wouldn't be immune to you. 

The moment you stepped into the forest with Thor, it darkened. Looking over your shoulder, the emerald green sea of the moor was almost a picture racing away to be enclosed by old tree trunks. You licked your lips nervously and folded your arms around your body, sure to keep up with Thor. He was confident in his strides, the darkening vibrant woods was just as much home for him as the windswept open land you two left behind. 

The Little Wolf was curious in the new surroundings, pacing and keeping a keen eye on everything you were hurriedly passing by trying to keep up with Thor. 

You weren't wrong that the forest had a life all its own. It seemed to breathe around you, moss stretched across large boulders that sprang tendrils of plant life curling upwards to try and reach sunlight. Heavy thick trees were bristling against your palm and almost seemed to heave in sighs at your gentle touch. Thor glanced back at you, golden tendrils clinging to his face now and his eyes crinkled in watching you loosen from your fear into awe. 

“You feel it, right?” He chuckled and you withdrew your hand from the tree back to your body. 

“What do you mean?” 

“Its soul, the magic in it all.” He braced against a tree and inhaled deeply. “All of this is very alive as you and I, it's old and has been standing long before we claimed this as home.” 

You tentatively touched a nearby tree again, feeling tingles in your palms, making you shudder a bit. “It is certainly… like home, but not quite.” 

Thor nodded with a wink. “Still a baby over there, your packs are just starting to write the stories that will live on after you are gone. One day they will have a life of their own, just like this one.” 

Your brows quirked at his words. He's a funny man isn't he. 

Your Little Wolf curled her tail around herself as she sat down. <He is, but I like him. This place feels like we belong here.> 

There does seem to be a certain calling to be here… 

You two continued on and you risked another statement. “Loki is not like you, is he?” 

Thor shook his head. “No, he is not. But you have no need to worry Little Wolf.” He paused while he glanced around, inhaling sharply. “It's just me and Y/n, Brother, come out of hiding.” 

“I'm not hiding, I can't help that you are not a more observant Brother.” A cool voice came from above and your eyes shot up to a long legged man lounging in the branches, looking almost like he couldn't be bothered. Thor snorted impatiently and motioned towards you. 

“Y/N has some questions for you.” 

Vivid green eyes fell on you and a cool grin formed as he moved to sit up and slide down. He walked in such a predatory way, almost circling you. The Little Wolf's hackles raised at him and you hitched yourself straighter. You felt that tingle in your mind again. 

Why is it your Alpha is sending you in here for Omega? My brother is right, you are just a little pup aren’t you, so new to the world...

You snarled out loud, glaring at him. “You are not welcome in my mind, and I’m no pup.” And a quick withdrawal left you and Little Wolf alone once more. You could feel your Alphas curling warmth in your mind, even if he couldn't be with you. 

Respect crossed Loki's features and he bowed his head. “Forgive my intrusion. It's not often I'm sought out, except by Thor that is.” Thor barked out a deep bellowing laugh, clasping your shoulder. 

“You can't use your tricks on this one, she is small but fierce. Her Alpha has great respect for her.” 

Loki gave a slight sniff, his green eyes sliding over you as he remarked. “I’m afraid you are right.” 

You shrugged out of Thor’s grasp now, wanting the answers you came for. “Loki, our packmates have been collared by Hydra. Steve seems to think that you know how to break from their control. Please, is there any way to break the hold they have on them.” Loki suddenly appeared next to you, his fingers catching a lock of your hair and pressing it between his fingers for a moment as if further inspecting you. You jumped and pulled away from him, making Thor growl a warning at him. But you narrowed your gaze at him, knowing well that he was testing you. You had seen it all before while living with Pierce. “Don't touch me Loki, only Steve is allowed to. How did you do that anyways, appear next to me?” 

His fingers swirled slightly, green wisps dancing around his nimble long fingers. “Magic Dear. I'm part Coyote, a Trickster. Sure your Alpha told you?” 

You shook your head. “No… He doesn't talk much about his life in Shield.” Your Little Wolf crooned in comfort, knowing sometimes you were worried about how he would be so vague about it. 

“Well it was a dark time for the shifters.” Loki admitted and glanced at his brother. “I don't much like discussing that time either.” You clenched your jaw a moment, worried he was going to flat out refuse your requests but he dipped his head. “But for you Dear, you boldly come out here without your Alpha, that deserves to have your questions answered. Come…” He beckoned to you and led you away, Thor was not far behind. Soon a small dwelling came into view and the door yawned open, which Loki stepped in. 

Inside was different from what you were expecting. Books lined shelves upon shelves, seeming to go on forever. Plush chairs were dotted near a fireplace and wooden carvings dotted the entire area. Wood shavings littered the floor, making you smile a bit because it reminded you of your Alpha, the fresh wood scent enveloping you. The place was cozy, almost like something from a story book. Of course, this whole experience was making you feel that way, like some sort of fairytale your mother would have told you before bed. Thor heavily fell into a nearby chair, quiet as his brother waved at a seat in offering to you.   

Loki approached a shelf and whispered under his breath till a box fell into his hands. Easing it open, he pulled out a collar. Silver strands weaved together into an intricate design. “This one was mine, but it stopped working on me after a time. So it was just useless metal. Why Hydra had kept me caged when Steve found me.” He handed it to you and you were caught by surprise at how light it was. Studying it closer, you could see twists of coarse black fur wedged through it where it sat on Loki’s neck. 

“Why did it stop working?” You asked curiously and Loki settled down in one of the seats. 

“Simple, I willed for my freedom. Most of the wolves have such a strong desire to follow an Alpha. Even the Alphas themselves can be forced to follow a stronger one should they come across one. Hydra didn't know I wasn't a Wolf, not completely. I can't be controlled in the same way for long. But it's that simple in how to get your wolves back. Your Alpha has to challenge them for control. Assert that he is stronger than the one controlling them with the collars.”  

You handed his collar back to him and Loki flicked his wrist to send it back to the box, the box flashing away in the same green blaze you had seen earlier. “That's all it takes?” You asked incredulously. Loki shrugged with a nod. 

“Hydra though is led by someone who has a power that no Wolf should have. It's how they are able to control such a large and secret organization for such a long time. But such power can always be challenged.” He drifted off, looking away into the fire he had burning in the fireplace. 

You let the silence sit for a few moments before speaking up. 

“Why wouldn't you talk to Steve?” 

Loki gave a slight roll of eyes. “I don't care for Alpha’s, they always feel the need to challenge and dominate. I've dealt with that enough in my life. I choose to live on the edges of my own Pack, still a member should Thor need my assistance and the rest leave me in peace.” 

“Then why me? You seemed interested in me being an Omega.” The Little Wolf stopped her pacing for just a moment, head tilted in curiosity. 

“Because true Omegas do not need to dominate or be controlled by anyone.” Loki turned towards you, his head tilting into your direction. “You might always submit to your Alpha, but that's a choice you and your wolf make together, consciously or not. If you were to ever truly want to defy him, you easily could. It's why you were able to make me leave when I was exploring your mind.” You rolled your eyes a bit at the trickster, clearly not believing him. A life time of being made to submit to Pierce against your will and the recent incidents with Steve... you felt he had you mistaken. “ You can roll your eyes at me all you want Little Pup, but I know what I’m talking about. Omega’s can be a threat to Alpha’s or for the right one, there everything. Really depends on the Alpha they are connected to. So I like you Little Omega, you are a challenge for me.” He winked and you rolled your eyes, but couldn't help the smile you gave to him. After all was said and done, you liked the Trickster. 

“Is there anything else you can tell me? How did you get the collar off?” You asked and Loki motioned towards Thor. 

“That was me. After Fury contacted me that Loki was with the Howling Commando’s Unit, I went to bring him home. I can provide you two with a special knife made to deal with unnatural made materials.” Loki rubbed at his face and his front door sprang open, a rush of air billowing into the dwelling. 

“Now I have answered your questions Omega, I can feel your Alpha pacing my border anxious. It's getting on my nerves. Return to him so he can settle back down.” 

You nodded, letting your senses open a bit and sure enough Steve was anxious, although far physically, you could feel him. Nodding as you approached Loki, you held out your hand to him. He eyed it a moment, and then slid his own in yours respectfully to give a shake. “Perhaps soon we will cross paths again, Little Omega.” 

“Perhaps we will Trickster.” You bid a final goodbye and now you left a bit more at ease, having the information you and Steve needed to save your family. 

[amelinksanatomy]

Someone at the hospital constantly flirts with Amelia and Link gets really jealous that when she gets home he reminds her that she’s his (smut) and makes her tell him that she’s his only

Jealous

A/N: Thanks for the prompt. There's A LOT of smut in my inbox right now, I'll try and get to it. This is set sometime in 16A except Amelia is not pregnant. Enjoy!

WARNING: SMUT and it's long and dirty... I should go to church.

He could hear it from down the hall.

The sound that always makes his heart flutter.

Amelia's laugh was infectious, her smile too. Link could hear his favorite sound getting louder as he got closer. But, as he walked around the corner to the OR board, his smile faded. He felt it in his stomach; that feeling.

"Seriously, Dr. Shepherd, that surgery was truly incredible." the new neuro fellow said, his tone a little over-friendly.

"Well, good to know I made a good first impression." Amelia laughed, wiping her name off the board before leaning against it.

"World class neurosurgeon Amelia Shepherd? It would pretty hard for you to not make a good first impression." he smirks, leaning against the board the same way she had.

Link felt his blood starting to boil as he watches the interaction. He walked over to where they were standing and wrapped an arm around her waist. Amelia turned her head and smiled at her boyfriends appearance, "Dr. Lincoln, this is Dr. Kahn, my new fellow."

The younger man held out his hand to Link, "Good to meet you. Amelia was just telling me about the surgery you two performed in New York a few months ago."

Link cleared his throat and turned his body into Amelia's, rubbing his hand up and down her side before looking at the other man, "Could you excuse us."

Dr. Kahn raised his eyebrows, looking down at the arm around Amelia's waist before nodding and leaving the two alone. Amelia unwrapped herself from Link's hold and turns to face him, her expression both confused and irritated, "What is wrong with you?"

"You were so rude just now." Amelia said sternly, crossing her arms across her chest.

"He was flirting with you." Link explains.

"No, he wasn't. He was being nice." Amelia rolls her eyes causing Link to laugh, "Amelia, he was flirting. I don't blame him but you are mine."

"Oh, so that's how this is going to go?" Amelia asks, clearly both irritated and amused by this conversation, "I'm yours and no man or woman is ever allowed to be nice to me ever again?"

"No one is allowed to flirt with you, only me." Link says, his voice serious causing Amelia to laugh once more, "You're ridiculous."

"And you're mine." Link smirks.

"When we get out of here, i'm gonna remind you why."

-----------------------------------

The second the two got through the door of Link's apartment, he had her pressed up against the door. His lips pressed against hers. The rapidness of it all caused Amelia to laugh into his mouth, "Oh, you were serious."

Link didn't say anything, he just wrapped his arms around her and lifted her up. She crossed her legs around his back as he carried her towards the bedroom, kissing around her neck.

When they got there, he threw Amelia onto the bed and stood in front of her. He gave her a sultry look as he pulled his shirt off and tossed it aside before doing the same to his pants and boxers. Now completely naked, Link climbed onto the bed where she was laid back and using her elbows to prop her up.

"You won't be needing this." Link says, pulling off her shirt.

He leans in to attach their lips once more, forcefully but making sure to not hurt her. He kept their lips pressed against each other, not letting them part for air while he reached around her back and removed her bra, tossing it behind him. Without warning, Link pulled away from her lips and took her nipple into his mouth causing Amelia to moan. She tried to hold it in, not wanting to give him the satisfaction but failed.

Eventually, Link had made his way down her body and was now tugging on her pants. He managed to pull them off, along with her underwear, at what seemed like record speed. Wasting no time, Link pushed her legs apart and smirked, "This wet for me already, huh."

Amelia rolled her eyes and smacked his arm with her foot, "Cocky."

Link pushed her legs up towards her chest and pulled her closer to him as he laid on his stomach, head placed between her thighs. He dove in, licking her softly, teasing her. "I am the only one who knows exactly how to get you screaming." he tells her as he pushes two fingers into her. Amelia breathes heavily at the sudden intrusion, the feeling of his tongue heightening everything she was feeling.Link began pumping his fingers into her, immediately curling them to reach her g-spot while his tongue makes slow circles around her clit. It was taking everything in Amelia to not moan, she wasn't giving in to his game yet. With his free hand, Link reached up to her chest and rolled her nipple between his fingers. Amelia had to bite her lip to stop herself from making a sound.

Link looked up from between her legs for a split second and smirked when he saw how hard she was trying. Seconds later, he had added a third finger and was pumping into her at a rapid pace. Amelia couldn't keep it in anymore. As his fingers moved, the sound of her arousal was joined by the sound of her moans as she got close to her climax. Link continued pumping his fingers and circling his tongue until she was squirming below him, squealing. He suddenly felt her walls tighten around him as she came, moaning his name loudly. However, Link didn't stop what he was doing. He sat up slightly, pulling his face away from her centre but continued to pump his fingers into her. Amelia was panting as the combination of coming down from her high and Link's continued movements started to overwhelm her. It wasn't until she started to squirt a little that she threw her head back and tried to close her legs around his arm.

"Okay, stop stop stop." Amelia begs, unable to take anymore "You've made your point."

Link smirks as he grabs her leg and uses it to flip her over so she's on her hands and knees, "I don't think I have."

Without giving her a chance to recover from her intense orgasm, Link pushed into her. Her walls were wet and warm and the feeling caused him to moan quietly. He immediately started pounding into her igniting another fire in Amelia's stomach as the feeling overwhelmed her, "No one fucks you as good a I do.". Link pushes her body down so the side of her face was now pressed into the mattress. The angle allowed Link to push deeper and hit her g-spot.

"You are mine. You understand?" Link asks dominantly.

He received no reply, just muffled moans as Amelia felt herself nearing the edge once more. Link could feel it too; her walls tightening around him and pushing him that bit closer.

"You are not allowed to cum yet." he instructs as he continues pounding into her, the sounds of their skin slapping filling the room.

"Please." Amelia whined, feeling herself starting to fall.

"Tell me who you belong to." Link demands.

Amelia, starting to become overstimulated, says nothing as she bites her lip once more in an attempt to hold on a little longer. Link speeds up his thrusts again as he starts to feel his balls tighten.

"Who do you belong to?" he asks again, a word between each thrust.

"You." Amelia gives in breathlessly, "I'm yours."

"Good girl. You're mine and don't you forget it." he says as he reaches around to rub her clit, signalling to her that she is allowed to fall. Amelia screams his name as she cums harder than she ever has before. Her body has a mind of it's own as she convulses around him. The sight of her causes Link to reach his own climax right after.

A few minutes later, they collapse on the bed, side by side. As they gain their breath back, Link pulls Amelia closer with a hand on her hip and wraps his leg over hers. He leans in to press a gentle kiss against her lips, feeling as they both smile into it.

"You're my girl." he says, running his fingers softly down her side.

Amelia rolls her eyes and smirks, "After that? You've got nothing to worry about, trust me."