#Serena Van Der Woodsen One Shot | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

nathcnielarchibald · 2 years ago

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Drunk kiss and tell | Serenate

Who: Serena van der Woodsen ( @theserenavdw ) & Nate Archibald

When: August 2nd, 2022

Location: A bar in Manhattan, Nate’s apartment

Summary: Serena invites Nate to get drunk with her which leads to more honest conversations, confessions and a step further than they actually intended.

Trigger Warnings: alcohol, smut

Serena: Serena couldn’t remember the last time she’d spend a day like this with Nate. The fact that she had actually convinced him to leave his work behind was remarkable all by itself. The fact that she managed to convince him to do so only to sit in a dark corner booth of a bar at mid day with drinks that should have never been consumed before dark was even more remarkable. So many things in her life were uncertain at the moment, but unsurprisingly, Nate was her constant. No matter what was happening in her marriage that wasn’t much of one anymore but also was officially only on hold, or in her life in general, she so easily gravitated towards him. Actually, the blonde had been uncertain where he stood with all of this - his reaction to her trial separation a lot more neutral than what she had expected. Leaving Manhattan for a bit certainly had been a reaction to all of that, but now, next to Nate in an establishment neither would ever frequent on a normal day, she couldn’t quite remember why she had ever wanted to leave. “I need another drink - and some food!” The blonde declared just as she emptied her last, the glass barely touching down on the wooden table before she already gestured for the waiter who, mostly because they were the only people in the bar, reluctantly made his was over. “Can we have 2 more of, well, that - !” Serena asked gesturing to their empty glasses before she added “plus, we need shots…and food. Whatever you have, we like it all!” The smile that followed was one of those charming ones that she reserved for grumpy bartender and people of authority, clearly the first one being the reason for its appearance right now. Leaning her head against her arm that was propped on the table the blonde looked back over at Nate, her smile softening into one of its most honest iterations. “I really have to be incredibly special to you, getting you to leave the office only to get drunk with me while I avoid all the renovations at my place!”

Nate: Convincing him to skip work even if it was just for a day or maybe only a couple of hours was certainly not an easy task - mostly because he always felt incredibly guilty. Almost as though he was letting the people of NYC who'd elected him as their mayor down if he for as much as a second wasn't working. He was aware that it was ridiculous and that politicians should certainly have actual time off too to rest and recharge but Nate had minimized that free time a long time ago and it was a habit that wasn't exactly easy to break. Even though he knew it wasn't really healthy. Apparently it was a little easier to break it if your name was Serena van der Woodsen though. Maybe there had been a few seconds when she'd suggested the idea of hitting up a bar so early that he'd been hesitant to join at first. Not just because they'd look like they could potentially be the kind of people who'd hit those bars up very frequently, but also because... well, he was afraid he was signing himself up for heartbreak. The kind that was actually worse than every he'd went through so far. There was a part of him that was convinced all of this was meant to go downhill soon enough, after all it had never worked out with her and she basically had easily fallen out of touch with him. Or so it felt at least. Not that he had really tried to reach out either, which was mostly due to the fact he didn't exactly feel like she wanted to be contacted. Luckily, the alcohol took all those thoughts and the little bit of anxiousness away quickly, the two easily falling into their usual teasing and lighthearted conversation topics. Weren't they truly champions at ignoring the elephant in the room? Someone should hand them a trophy. The grin that had settled on Nate's face a while ago only widened at the bartenders grumpy look, knowing that it would probably not really put the other in a better mood but at the same time hardly caring about that. Honestly, who could blame him that he didn't pay much mind to some grumpy guy when a gorgeous woman like Serena was sitting right next to him? "I think I remember you claiming something along the lines of making it your personal duty to keep my sanity in check for the rest of the month? So... I'd say I only gave you a chance to actually live up to your promise." His gaze met hers as he kind of mirrored her position, only that his chin was resting on his fist. "And it kind of feels like you're just using this apparently hardest challenge of your life as an excuse so you really don't have to take care of your place that I'm almost convinced very likely looks like a mess right now. Only because you started something but then weren't really into finishing it."

Serena: “I think it was something along the lines of your sanity suffering because I wasn’t here?” Serena quipped back without missing much of a beat, though part of her wondered if there was something about her prolonged absence that didn’t sit right with him. She knew she’d probably left town one too many times to just claim that people were overreacting whenever she went on a little trip without much of a notice, but then again he had hardly actually spoken to her either, something she had longed to change but just didn’t quite know how to. After all he had been the one to leave relatively abruptly the night she had told him that her marriage was most likely over. “No, that’s not it at all - plus I absolutely do have a decorator who is doing all the work for me…all I have to do is wait and see!” She replied grinning, the words still somewhat foreign, easier identified with those that used to come out of her mothers mouth than her own. “Plus, it’s barely afternoon and you did not voice any opposition to another round of drinks and shots, therefore whatever I’m doing right now seems to be working!” As if he had heard her the waiter put their drinks on the table, noticeable absent at this point though was any kind of smile on his face and the food they had ordered. Not that the food has been ordered for anything but to keep up appearances. “if we were any younger I’d absolutely suggest we play a very paired down version of a drinking game now, but I heard that we are all together to old for that at this point!” Sighing dramatically she blonde cracked a smile before she added “but if we weren’t you’d absolutely pick truth and I would ask you how you really felt that evening when I told you Dan and I were on a break!”

Nate: Nate clicked his tongue followed by a gentle chuckle and a barely visible shake of his head when she kinda called him out, the conversation still too present on his mind to pretend she wasn’t absolutely right. “Touché.” Even if the moment was short, he did notice that there was something else weighing on her mind for a moment but thanks to the alcohol that clouded his mind, his focus moved too quickly to her reply than to actually figure out what it could be. But if it was important, the one thing he should know was that it’d always come up in conversation at some point. While they were certainly good to dance around a topic sometimes, it inevitably never worked for too long - which, honestly was a good thing because 9 out of 10 times it was a misunderstanding that could easily be solved instead of spreading constant worries in their minds. “Pft, that’s just another unfair advantage because you know exactly alcohol is the way to my heart.” He joked, the grin still as present as before while he glanced at the drinks that were now placed in front of them. One thing he really had to give the grumpy waiter was his great timing. Despite his previous words, Nate knew that alcohol (especially too much of it) had put them into very difficult, sometimes even heartbreaking situations they also didn’t seem to be immune to the fact that it led to some of their most honest confessions. The only thing he wasn’t sure of right now was if the truth this time was such a good idea. He’d been vulnerable without the involvement of any alcohol months ago, confessing his feelings to her while at the same time pushing her away because he couldn’t bear the thought of watching her choose someone else again and he wasn’t sure if that had actually changed. Yes, the situation was very different to what it had been then, still feeling guilty about the fact he’d kind of betrayed his friend in that moment by telling his wife that he loved her, knowing that it would cause some reaction at least. Some would maybe even go as far as saying that the trial separation was an indication she might choose someone else than Dan but he wasn’t too sure of it. And the fact her question made his heartbeat quicken as he slowly started feeling a little nervous wasn’t helping either. “Mmm,” He only hummed after she’d finished talking, the grin on his face fading a little as he bought himself some time while he took a sip of his drink, the alcohol helping slightly with his nerves. “What makes you think I wouldn’t choose dare? Though, I have a feeling it’d be the same question regardless only that you would dare to tell me how I really felt.” Despite his obvious attempt to avoid answering the question for at least a little while longer, his gaze never left hers, maybe a slight indication that he would eventually give her the answer she was seeking. Especially since he’d kind of already confessed with his reaction right now that he’d been hiding his feelings back when she’d told him. “If we were young enough to still play that drinking game I’d tell you that I wasn’t able to comprehend the fact this was really happening when you told me,” He began, still much like he’d been then struggling to find the right words or any words to express how he felt really, “It made me feel guilty later that the first thing I think I really felt was relief - in the sense of there being an actual chance you wouldn’t force yourself to stay in this marriage just because you didn’t want to be like your mom. Which, for the record, I still think are two whole different situations.” His fingers traced the rim of his glass absentmindedly as he still kept his gaze on her. “And I don’t think I’ve ever wanted to kiss you as badly as I did then.”

Serena: Serena wondered if she should not have asked. Maybe they’d be better off pretending, as they had so often, that nothing was the matter. Maybe she had also just been too quick to assume that he’d..have some kind of reaction to the possibility of her leaving Dan. It felt like these days there was a constant push and pull between her and Nate, something she had assume they had put behind them years ago until he had kissed her on thanksgiving. Actually, it wasn’t quite fair for put that on him, if anything, they had kissed. Very mutually. From there on things seemed to change by the minute. From declarations of love, to not speaking at all, to honest conversations about figuring out whatever was going on between them..only to then not actually talk about anything once something actually seemed to be changing. “It’d be an unfair advantage if you’d be the only one drinking, we are keeping this very level!” The blonde commented smiling a little as she watched him carefully, the silence that followed her question not exactly the most reassuring thing. “I think you wouldn’t because we used to actually play these games when we were young, remember?” Probably when they were too young, 15 year old on the carpet of Blair’s room - back when it still felt like Serena would end up watching her two best friends love story from the side lines forever. God, how the tables had turned. The blonde stayed quiet when Nate spoke, listening carefully in between sips of her drink, the stem of her glass somewhat of a lifeline at this very moment. “That’s why you felt relief? Or guilt?” She questions maybe came out a little more sharply than she intended, but she really wasn’t quite sure what to make of his words, at least not until his final admission reached her ears, her eyes looking up from her glass and locking with his. It took her a moment to find her voice again after that, before she’ll couldn’t help but ask another question. “Why didn’t you?”

Nate: “Vaguely,” He answered, a bit too amused probably. It wasn’t like he didn’t want to remember all those times they’d played truth or dare but the alcohol that had been part of those games only left him with rather blurry memories. After all, even back then and even if he certainly didn’t want to admit it then, he’d at least had a crush on Serena so that game always caused him to get nervous - and therefore required at least a specific amount of alcohol. The sharpness with which her following questions came irritated him to some degree, brows furrowing as he wasn’t sure if she had expected him to elaborate some more, maybe even wanted him to say that he’d not only been sad to hear that she was potentially single again. He opened his mouth to explain further how and why he’d felt the way he did but then closed it once their eyes locked and a question that simply brushed all the others aside followed. Maybe his mind also seemed so empty now because his gaze had dared to drop down to her lips for a moment, something that so easily made him forget anything but the fact that he was absolutely drawn to her lips and wanted to kiss them. Taste her. He swallowed thickly, his mouth suddenly a little dry. “It probably sounds stupid but I was scared it’d push you away.” His voice was barely above a whisper as his eyes met hers once more, smiling softly.

Serena: God they were not good at this, at communicating and their last conversation probably was even more proof of that than the one they were having now. If anything she had been disappointed that he had not reacted more that day, had not said, as she had so often asked of him, even if only silently, to make a move, or at least try and fight for her - a fact that wasnt exactly fair, not when she had pushed him away and made it hard for him to do exactly that so many times before. "It does sound stupid!" Serena confirmed with a slight smile, the air around them charged with something sh could, in fact, put her finger on but wasnt sure if was something they should react to just now. Not that the sentence that followed would help with that. "I thought you would, you know, kiss me that night. I really thought you'd..seize the opportunity I guess!"

Nate: He tilted his head searching her face with his eyes as he tried to figure out if she was messing with him or not. But then again, there was no reason to. Plus, they were pretty much alone in here so that kind of gave them the perfect opportunity for intimate and honest conversation, no need to fear anyone who wasn’t supposed to hear them would eventually get the information from gossip girl. Not that this was really on his mind right now though, thinking not his strongest suit when he was already a little too intoxicated for how early it still was. “Damn, I really suck at reading signals from you, don’t I?” Nate shook his head more at himself than anything else, wondering how it was so easy for him to think he was doing the right thing and then missing something as simple as that. It surely also made him wonder if he’d been standing in the way of his own happiness all those years. Maybe he shouldn’t have flown himself out of the city before her wedding and instead shown up on her front door to ask her not to marry Dan as he’d done many, many times in his imagination. “But I think it doesn’t change the fact that it would’ve felt like taking advantage of a vulnerable situation. The right person, yes, but not the right timing for a kiss.” He then added softly, revealing yet another reason why he hadn’t kissed her that night. There was so much in their past that had happened because they’d followed their desire and the undeniable chemistry between them and while he didn’t regret any of those situations, it did ultimately put them through so much heartbreak and drama that he didn’t want history to repeat itself this time. Which was also something he thought both of them had agreed on when they’d their heart to heart on his birthday - and therefore another reason why he was surprised she seemed to be a little upset that he hadn’t tried anything but instead given her space and time to figure this new situation out.

Serena: “I sometimes think you just don’t want to see them…!” Serena admitted when he asked if he sucked at reading her signal - possibly signals also looked very different to them, no matter what they’d talk or didn’t properly about it seemed that actions tended to look different for the both of them sometimes. At the end of the day it probably was a mix of all of it, many situations of right person, wrong moment, paired with miscommunication and topped off with some fear that they’d mess it all up again. After all, how many heartbreaks could a friendship, or a partnership survive? They’d already coming very close to no longer being part of each other’s lives and that in itself was reason to be cautious. His follow up statement made her smile softly, the reason for why he hadn’t kissed her so very much him that it was hard to believe that so many years living in their world he had not changed. “I think you’re possibly the only person I’ve ever known to be worried about taking advantage of a situation…!” Serena told him softly as she took a sip of her drink before she shook her head softly, the fact that it felt like they’ve never but also constantly had this conversation slightly overwhelming as well as heartbreaking. “Even if you would have kissed me that night, I would have never thought you’re taking advantage of me!”

Nate: Her words probably hit the nail on the head - at least to a certain degree. He didn’t exactly not want to miss out on all the signs she may have given him but something was telling him that he did avoid acting on anything because he’d built some kind of wall around his heart, trying to keep her out of it. Ironically, he at the very same time always wanted nothing more than to be with her, this inner conflict surely to blame for his slow or non-existing reactions and actions. And that inner conflict was also most definitely one of the reasons for the (luckily) short-termed ending of their friendship. God, he probably would’ve never forgiven himself if they would’ve never recovered from that. It was probably the most stupid thing he’d ever done. His hand reached for her hand that was holding onto her glass, fingers brushing over the back of it until she let go of the glass so he could lace their fingers together. “I may have missed some of those signs on purpose,” He admitted as he lowered his gaze, “I guess I was and I still am a little scared of what would happen if I act on it. No, I actually think we both are. And you know that as much as I do because I’m pretty sure that’s why you told me we shouldn’t move too fast this time. Being with you all those years back was - despite all the drama - the happiest time of my life and losing that was the worst. Especially the way it happened, it was just so frustrating.” He sighed. “I don’t want to go through another time of me having to read about your hookups in Paris on Gossip Girl every morning and feeling just the worst kind of pain that I just wanted to numb,” Nate made a face at the memory of how he’d chosen to numb it and that he actually used Chuck’s black book and how completely out of character he’d acted at the time - an indication of much he’d really been hurting. “I don’t want to use unhealthy coping mechanism again and even worse - everything I know about you against you so I could hurt you too. As much as I would maybe like to claim I didn’t know what I was doing when I brought Juliet with me, I most definitely did it for the worst reasons.” He looked up at her when he paused for a moment, unsure if he was putting his foot in his mouth or if talking about this was actually a good thing. “I don’t want to play any jealousy games or trying to push the other over the edge to get them where we want to… We both know this is all so delicate and I don’t want us to break it before it can even start.”

Serena: The irony of the fact that the hand he was holding, fingers interlaced in what might have been the most comforting action of the day so far, was still adored by both her wedding and Engagement ring was not lost on her - and it was an unwanted reminder that technically, this was a trial separation and a decision would still have to be made. Despite the fact that she was already renovating their shared space, she wasn’t sure if either her or Dan were ready to admit that it was in fact all over. “I just don’t want anyone to think you’re the reason for this…I mean for a possible divorce. At the end of the day we weren’t..we aren’t happy and whatever happens with us, it’s a whole different story!” It was one of her main concerns, not necessarily for the sake of her own reputation but Nates. His job was demanding and while the comparison to Tripp wasn’t one she’d ever voice again, it was undeniable that the press would be equally unkind if they’d suspect their mayor might have cause a divorce on the upper east side, especially since her name wasn’t completely unrecognisable in the New Yorker society circuit either. “It was always other peoples drama…whenever it was just us, it was so good?” What sounded like a question wasn’t really one, in her mind she knew the answer. Whenever they’d actually been alone during their relationship things had been absolutely wonderful, if anything perhaps they had never spent enough time just the two of them. “I think the days of a spending a month of reckless dates in Paris are well and truly behind me, if that’s what you’re worried about!” Serena teased him, the only way she knew to help her cope with all of the things he had just said - and was continuing to say. Even if they both looked back at their relationship and considered it an incredible happy, if not the happiest time, it was hard to deny the fact that they had played far too many games - both during and after. Not to mention that, much like he said, they knew each other so well it unfortunately was easy to push the others button when push came to shove, though in her memory that had happened more so whenever they weren’t actually together - when repressed jealousy showed it’s ugly head. “Neither do I, but we also didn’t want this when we last tried this…!” It was hard to admit that, but she felt like in a way their previous relationship had started with much of the same pretence. “I just remember thinking then that it made so much sense, that it was you..and that it should have been you all along!”

Nate: If there was one thing Nate certainly could relate to than it was the fear of people turning a possible relationship between them into unnecessary drama. It wouldn’t exactly be the first time and people just loved to judge and gossip without really knowing anything, especially not the truth. But to him it wasn’t only his reputation and the way he could potentially be received as a home wrecker by those narrow-minded people, it was also the fact they’d (once again) judge Serena and paint her out to be someone he knew she wasn’t. He’d always hated how Gossip Girl made her look like this spoiled brat and party girl (and yes, he knew Serena hadn’t exactly been innocent growing up so maybe it wasn’t completely undeserving to some people) but he felt like the good and kind parts of her had always been left out of those narratives. Which wasn’t really fair. The last thing he wanted was for her to be seen as someone who she truly wasn’t again because of stupid nonsense. “I know and I don’t want it either. But if the existence of Gossip Girl and all those tabloids have taught us one thing, it’s that people always talk and they also always make up shit about people they don’t know, if they feel like it. I think even if we waited for years after decisions have been made and things have been finalized, there’d be someone digging and then finding out about our history only to use it against us.” Of course, it was easier said that they technically would have to accept those false narratives should someone decide to put them out there, than to actually do so but he felt like they didn’t really have any other option. “Maybe we should ditch New York and just run off to the West Coast together.” He joked, chuckling softly though there was a small part of him that if things got really bad wasn’t exactly opposed to the idea of them just running off somewhere - it didn’t even have to be the West Coast as long as they were away from the drama. “It was always good when it was just the two of us, yeah.” Not that it was really necessary for him to confirm it because the smiles and glances back then had spoken volumes - just as much as the moments they’d managed to steal away, blissfully oblivious to the drama slowly unfolding in both of their lives. “Ha ha. Not the point but I appreciate the reassurance.” He couldn’t help but grin at her when she teased him, as heavy as the topic was at least they were also at a point where they could make fun of the situation itself now. That was some progress, right? “I know but maybe we just have to try harder this time.” Once again, something that in their lives seemed easier said than done but Nate also knew that if they would really try this again, he was willing to do everything he could to make it work - something that also included the fact that he needed to take action in situations that didn’t seem as perfect and right at first probably. “Your young adult self was smarter than I ever gave her credit for, I guess.” Now he couldn’t help but tease her, a soft grin coming along with his words to make it clear that they certainly weren’t meant to harm her. Maybe it was even a confession of sorts because he did indeed always convince himself that he’d been her second choice in every past situation.

Serena: He was absolutely right, if anything they had learnt to deal with the noise of the tabloids and Gossip Girl over the years, but it also felt like the older they got the stakes certainly were higher. She didn’t put it past the media to have an impact on his career if they decided to really hound him, or her for that matter. “I think the whole point is not running away from it all this time around, no?” Serena asked softly, although the thought was always appealing. She sometimes did wonder why they had never left New-York and all the drama behind, not just her and Nate, but all of them. When he admitted that there was a chance her younger self had been smarter than he had given her credit for she smiled softly, though a trace of sadness was easily readable behind the smile. “You never trusted me when we were together, not fully at least. I know I didn’t give you many reasons either, so I don’t blame you, but…I just wish you would have trusted me more!” Maybe it was also a silent plea for him to now do what he apparently couldn’t do then, to, if they were to try to build some kind of life together, actually fully let himself believe that it was what she wanted and that being with him was the only thing she wanted.

Nate: While Nate knew that the point indeed was not to run this time, part of him wished they could because it certainly would be easier. On the other hand, he kind of really wanted to go the more complicated, harder route because he was sure in the end it’d be worth working through everything that was still lying ahead of them. No matter if they were friends or lovers at the end of what he assumed was going to be a rocky road. “Yeah, it’s all about not running this time.” He smiled softly as he looked at their intertwined hands, the fingers of his other hand absentmindedly drawing circles on the back of hers while he was lost in his thoughts for a moment. He looked up again when she talked about his lack of trust, the sadness of her smile not going unnoticed by him, a soft sigh escaping him at the sight. There were many factors that had played a role in their relationship not working out and Nate knew that his own issues had been part of it. Oddly enough, Serena was one of the people, if not the only one, he trusted in every other aspect, so much that she was probably the one who knew the most about him. The only thing he still couldn’t completely trust her with was his heart. Just the thought of giving it all away and trusting her blindly, especially not to change her mind about who she wanted to be with was scary. Most of all because he just knew if they screwed up another time, there’d be no way to fix this relationship again. It’d be over for good then. He lifted his hand to caress her cheek gently, his thumb running across the soft skin of cheek as he searched for her eyes this time. “I know I have to work on my issues too. I’m… I’ve actually already… started working on them. Not alone, though. But with professional help.” He admitted, it was the first time he was telling anyone that he was seeing a therapist. It had been difficult for him to even admit that he needed help, always one to try and figure things out on his own, especially when it was only about himself but he knew he couldn’t continue like this. “I’ve been seeing a therapist regularly since… since my trip to LA. When I ran into Diana, I had some kind of panic attack because having to see her and being confronted with that part of my past that I just honestly want to forget brought up too many feelings that I couldn’t handle. My therapist calls it trauma, I honestly didn’t have any idea it was that bad until that day but yeah. Working on.. all of that has been interesting and just… a lot.”

Serena: His words floored her for a moment. Professional help, admitting one was out of one’s depth wasn’t exactly something that was common in their world - while most people certainly needed it, nobody ever seemed to consider it. The fact that he now was facing things that they had always downplayed, mostly because it was the only way to continue, felt momentous. “Trauma…id like to say I’m surprised, but the only thing that actually surprises me is that we are all still standing upright at this point!” Sure enough they had all experienced more traumatic situations than most people did in a lifetime, most of which had always been simply ignored and considered normal. Just part of their lives. Serena let go of his hand for a moment, taking up her drink as she considered his words. “How does it feel? To talk to someone about, I mean, just all of this?” She asked her hands automatically reaching for his arms again, softly tracing little lines on his skin as she waited for his reaction, his answer. “I did think if anyone would make you want to go to therapy I’d be me!” She finally joked softly, just to let him know that she in fact, much like him, understood where her faults laid with their past. Her next words weren’t exactly the easiest to formulate, but she meant every word of it. “Nate, if you need time for yourself right now..and need to focus on yourself - I get that!”

Nate: The pause she needed to process the information he'd just placed in front of her, he used to take a couple of sips of his own drink. The liquid courage certainly needed in a moment like this. And he honestly understood the need to process on her part because he still wasn't sure if therapy was the right or wrong thing to do and it most definitely wasn't a common thing in their society. "It feels... odd, weird even. I prefer talking to you about these things, cracking jokes and brushing it off... momentarily. But I guess that no longer works for me from a long-term perspective." He answered truthfully as a sigh fell from his lips. While her questions and the topic in general was the hard-hitting kind, her touch was soft and gentle - basically the opposite of it, which was more than just comforting and calming in a way. Plus, there was always this soft layer of goosebumps covering his skin whenever Serena touched him. Not solely because of his sexual attraction to her but every time she was touching him, it felt like she was touching his soul - one of those effects only she ever had on him. When he'd told her that he was seeing a therapist, he somehow didn't think of what else she could apply this to. He didn't think that she would maybe assume that he was subtly trying to tell her that he needed time and wasn't ready for letting another person into his life. That was not what he wanted - or meant so he shook his head. "I don't need time for myself. I mean- I-I do need to figure some things out that I need time for but... that will likely be something I'll work on for the rest of my life. Maybe I should just marry my therapist. Though I think his wife might not be too happy about that." He couldn't help but drop a joke in between all the heavy, seriousness of this topic. "I meant that... I..." He was struggling to find the right words or to put his thoughts into words that made sense for both of them, honestly. Not because he was afraid she wouldn't understand him or she wouldn't like what he was about to say but solely because he wanted her to know that the fact he wanted to be with her was the only certain thing in his life right now. "I do trust you, there are just... holes in that construct that I still need to fill? But I'd... I think the only way to fill those and build it back up in a complete way would be to do it with you. I don't need distance from you to work on it, the only thing I need from you is to understand that I want to get there but it's gonna be a work in progress. Basically like everything in life is? The only thing I don't want is to go into this pretending like those issues didn't exist and making the same mistakes all over again so that we'll inevitably fail again. But from what you said, I think that is a very mutual thing, right? And if you tell me this is what you want - I am what you want then I will believe you this time and not question it constantly. I'll try as much as I can not to slip up and fail to trust that.”

Serena: "Oh please do not marry a therapist, I am that would not go down well next thanksgiving – i personally would hate being psychoanalysed over turkey and pumpkin pie!" I was really easier to just smile away the worries and the topics, it was what she, or all of them really, were good at, but she none the less was listening, taking in all those informations he was laying on her right now. News and information she was proud he chose to share with her. "I understand that, I really do, I think...!" Serena could not help but laugh a little, her hands covering her face for a moment when she looked back up at him, the whole situation feeling much more complicated than any of the things they'd found themselves in before. Somehow the lines when it came to kissing while one was still married, having sex while the other was in a relationship - and any other thing that had ever happened between them was less black and white like this. "I cannot and I will never promise you anything. I am not good with these things, but I need you to understand how I feel about you, how I have always felt about you, in one way or another! I am nowhere near divorced yet, my husband...Dan, we havent even decided that things are really over..I guess we both know, but...all I wanted when I told you that my marriage seemed to be ending was to kiss you!" She was not sure if any of this was giving him what he needed, or if this was an actual answer to anything he had just said. "I dont want to make the same mistakes again either, but I also dont want us to once again just...not try, or not try enough. What if things just arent meant to be completely smooth and there will always be some kind of complication? Because there will be. Your family would never approve of me, I doubt it'll be great for your career, people will talk always … about us, about the past, about Dan, wether or not this started long before. There will be gossip, an rumours and we might fail...!" Because there was a chance this would not work, just statistically, this might as well would not work out and that was not taking all kinds of exterior factors into consideration. If the fact that she had said all of that with a smile on her face had not been sign enough that none of this was meant to be stated to be hurtful, but simply to be truthful, her next words certainly would give him that idea. "But I want that and I want to try. I'll have to talk to Dan and we need to figure this all out...and we should take it slow, see where this all leads us, but...!" Her body had gravitated towards his as she had spoken without really realising it, but it did just underline her next words perfectly "...I need you!" words that were especially underlined when her lips met his just moments later, albeit in a kiss that was much softer than what she truly craved.

Nate: Just picturing being married to a therapist and them analyzing his friends amused him so much that he let out a soft laugh. The guaranteed chaos, however, wasn't something he'd look forward to either. Especially since their Thanksgivings were already dramatic enough and there was still that little bit of hope left that they'd finally have one so calm that their biggest worry would be maybe some spilled red wine. But that was a train of thought for another day, maybe. He rather focused on what she was now saying, the fact she told him she wasn't going to make promises she likely wouldn't be able to keep not something that disappointed him but he actually appreciated. It was definitely not something he expected or wanted from her anyway, the only thing he really wanted was for her to acknowledge that they had issues that needed to be worked on and she already did that. Everything else she could offer was something he'd take but he certainly didn't want to pressure her with expectations she couldn't meet. They were already both on the same page of wanting to really try this time, but maybe his hesitation when it came to kissing her already made it seem like he wasn't up for that. But when it came to the possible repercussion this could have on his career, the gossip they would have to endure and most importantly his family not approving... those were things he didn't really worry about at all. Truth be told, that could seem a bit stupid, especially since he'd worked hard on getting where he was but it wasn't really his career that was making him happy. Plus, he'd already made the decision for himself that he didn't want to stay in the political field after his term was over. But that was also something he hadn't really told anyone yet, except for his therapist and he knew he'd need some time until he was able to tell anyone. She was right - there was a chance they would fail yet another time and that thought was admittedly scary and maybe the one he worried about the most. For the most part because he wasn't sure how much this would also affect their friendship in the end. He knew that if their relationship failed after they really tried to make it work, he wouldn't want to try that another time. But what he knew was that he would try his best to stay friends with her, just that it obviously depended on the reason why it ended then. Though, right now, this was the worst case scenario and surely not something he wanted to pay much mind to. Thinking about something ending before it even really started surely wasn't clever. Moments earlier, when she had mentioned that all she wanted was to kiss him the night she'd told him about her trial separation, Nate's gaze had inevitably wandered to her lips for a second but he'd quickly reminded himself to focus. Only when her body now moved closer to his, he suddenly felt the urge and the pull to meet hers in the middle and this time he gave in. The smile on his face mirrored hers as she told him that she wanted to try and when her lips met his, he let his eyes fall shut as he enjoyed the softness of the kiss, not even hesitating for a moment to kiss her back. "I want to really try this time too. Doesn't matter which obstacles will be thrown our way." Nate then whispered against her lips, pulling back a little to look at her again but it truly wasn't the easiest task. And just a moment later, he gave in a second time, only that he kissed her this time with a little more hunger than the kiss they shared before.

Serena: Serena had never been known to be one to resist temptation, if anything she was the temptress, even in moments when she had not anticipated or attempted to do so. If there was one thing they had always been able to rely on it was physical attraction - friendship or relationship hardly mattered, they’d always been physical, touch a love language Serena used and occasionally abused in a sense, physicality often easier to access than words. The blonde wasn’t sure if this was right, if they should be kissing right now - if she would think of it she’d think of the man who was still her husband, of the fact that her separation at this one was a trial, albeit one that came with renovation and a move on Dans part so the permanent decision possibly had already been made only that words had failed them. Words now equally failed the blonde as she simply allowed herself to indulge in the feeling of Nate’s touch, her lips hungrily exploring his as if they’d never kissed before. A fact that wasn’t all that far from the truth since, aside from thanksgiving, their last intimate encounter was years ago, something that filled her with both excitement and a healthy dose of anxiety. “Can I stay at yours tonight?” Serena finally asked when he lips broke away from his, though the distance was minimal, her breath still hot against his skin as she tried to regain some sense of time and space. “I mean…not for this…I just don’t want to spend the night alone!” She told him truthfully, knowing that sleeping over was them playing with fire if they truly wanted to stick to their self imposed slowness, but she knew that being alone with her own thoughts in an empty apartment that was a partial construction zone would be detrimental tonight.

Nate: Nate was a little dizzy after she’d pulled back from the kiss, he didn’t know if it was due to the alcohol in his system or just simply the fact it was Serena who he was (finally) kissing again - but it was probably a bit of both. One thing was for sure, though… not only the kiss left him a little breathless but her question surely took a moment to process as well. While the timing surely did indicate something entirely different than the actual reason behind it, Nate wasn’t disappointed when she corrected herself. Instead he smiled softly at her, knowing well enough that Serena always struggled with being alone and she never really had been in the last… well, probably never actually. But he also was just as aware that neither of them was actually known for being able to resist each other and if their kiss just a few seconds ago didn’t already prove it, a lot of moments in their past most definitely would. “Yeah, of course.” There was no way Nate would’ve been able to say no to her and he also didn’t want to. Plus, maybe they were finally at a point when they could actually take things slow, which was something he was sure both were equally as determined to stick to. “How does takeout sound? Because I’m pretty sure the only food they offer here are those peanuts in that bowl the guy placed on our table and I don’t think we should keep drinking on empty stomachs.”

Serena: “Mhm, I’m guessing your fridge is entirely empty since it’s no longer stocked by Blair and Chuck…!” She pondered teasingly, though the memories her own words brought back should be reason enough to reconsider her own idea of sleeping over because her whole body was craving to touch him again - but she also refused to go back on her word this quickly, how hard could it actually be to practice some self restraint. “Chinese?” She asked instead of replying properly to his question, the food choice more than enough of an answer. “Order some food and get a car and I’ll handle that guy?” Serena added, one look over her shoulder at whom she by now suspected to be the owner of this place and it was clear that he was more than ready to get rid of the only patrons at this place and while she’d claim that it was the only reason why she leant back down after she had gotten up and caught Nate’s lips in another kiss that should technically be reserved for the privacy of one’s own home although truth was it was both, her heart and the shots doing the talking. Plus this guy hardly looked like he knew, or cared about gossip girl. The air outside was hot and heady, the opposite of cool and sobering that they both possibly needed and it was the first moment that Serena wondered if what she was doing was cruel to both of the men in her life, one who probably knew that their marriage was over and the other who might end up loosing a friend over it, especially if photos of them would appear online so soon after this trial separation. It was a question she mulled over on the drive back to his place, teeth unconsciously pulling on her lower lip, a nervous habit that had never really disappeared over the years - although the worries did he moment she stepped foot into Nates place, everything about it familiar despite the fact that she had spend very little time there over the years. It even smelled like him. The familiarity made it easier to just discard her bag in a corner, heels following before she looked around a little, spotting little details she hadn’t notice the last time she was there. The silence between them in the moment not uncomfortable or threatening, but somewhat peaceful and she only broke it when she walked back over to him, her arms wrapping around his neck, the height difference suddenly turned on its head now that the loubutins no longer worked to her advantage. “Thank you!” She whispered against his lips, hers meeting his again because frankly now that they had kissed she felt like she been starved of his touch for years and not only memories but emotions resurfaced at an almost overwhelming speed - all quieted by the simple action of giving in to this, to him. Were their plans of quasi-chastity saved by the ringing doorbell that announced the arrival of their food? The fact that at least Serena felt what she assumes most teenagers felt like when they were caught by their parents suggested that yes, the doorbell had been somewhat of a saving grace. The blonde sighed with a hint of what possibly was sexual frustration as she pushed her hair out of her face and stepped away from him so he could take care of the food, only speaking up again when the door was closed. “I need a hot shower and a drink…and since you cannot be part of the first, you’re in charge of the second!” The words were spoken with a grin on her face, though she did need a moment to put some distance between them and a shower was about the only thing she could think of in the moment.

Nate: There was something about the sexual tension that was suddenly so present in the air between them that made him almost forget his actual task while she was gone to pay their drinks. He had no memory of him calling his driver to pick them up and then ordering the food but both things had apparently happened during her absence. All he did remember was how his eyes never left Serena and the little voice in the back of his mind screaming that it was a bad idea. But bad ideas didn't mean that they would always come with regret, right? At least he couldn't exactly claim that he fully regretted any decision they had made while drunk on both, alcohol and... feelings in the past. So, why should it be different now? It seemed like Serena's mind was clouded with similar thoughts, or at least with worry during their drive back to his place, his eyes catching sight of one of her nervous habits that he was all too familiar with. And yet, the only thoughts that really crossed his mind were that she looked cute like this and that he was glad this day wasn't over yet but actually included a sleepover. He'd missed her so much that every additional hour was very welcomed, no matter the possible consequences that could come from this. It was easy to tell Serena relaxed as soon as they were inside his apartment, his body inevitably doing the same, but for a moment he wasn't sure if it was the privacy or because she felt comfortable in his space. The bag and heels that landed in the corner almost carelessly a second later gave a little hint as to what at least the main reason seemed to be. Which in return caused a smile to grace his features, still unable to keep his eyes off her, though he at least managed to take his shoes off by the door as well before she'd approached him again. His arms easily snuck around her waist, only slightly surprised by the kiss this time because he too felt the constant pull towards her since the moment they'd shared their first kiss of the night. Lines they had drawn themselves and previously planned not to cross had been blurred again, and it, ironically enough reminded him of a similar situation. Only that... well, Serena had basically been in his position and he was the one who had been disappointed in her and hurt by her decisions. But was this really as bad as the decisions Tripp and Serena had made back then? It wasn't the same, was it? That thought was quickly pushed away when he noticed that he was still holding the door open even though the food and money exchange had already happened and he closed it again, turning towards Serena. The question she then asked along with the mental pictures of her naked in a - no, his - shower definitely made sure that every doubt and thought was silenced, the grin on his face now matching hers even though he wasn't exactly sure how he was going to survive this night and actually resist the temptation. "Take the bathroom on this floor, this way," he gestured towards the hall to his right, "second door on the left. The shower is much nicer than the one upstairs. Fresh towels are in the first drawer." He looked at her for another moment, his gaze maybe a little more intense than he actually intended before he forced himself to turn away and place the bags with their food on the kitchen counter so he could go and grab them both a drink. Once he heard the bathroom door close behind Serena, he allowed himself to let out a deep breath as he muttered an almost inaudible "Shit." How did he always find himself in these situations with Serena? And how was he supposed to hold it all back when he'd done so for the last ten years or so and it all seemed like the hardest task he's ever been met with now? Especially since his mind always wandered back to the fact she was in his shower right now and if he was being honest, he was dying to join her and it admittedly did cost him a lot of strength not to as he forced himself to focus on placing the cartons with their food on the table in front of his couch before finally fixing both of them a drink, his first two emptied right after they were poured and then refilled again. He figured putting on a movie while they ate would hopefully help him staying focused on anything but the sexual tension, though he had no idea which movie would actually be able to break that. Not when he could hardly think straight and the alcohol he kept adding to his system surely didn't help either.

Serena: “Nice shower? Are you trying to woo me Archibald?” Serena asked teasingly as he led her to the bathroom which what he deemed the nicer shower and showed her where she could find anything she needed - only to not leave the room when he was done, at least not right away. Her eyes had met his through the mirror, knowing it’d be oh so easy to take off just one piece of clothing right there and invite him in, not just the shower but whatever else this was, but he had averted his gaze eventually, door shutting behind him and she wasn’t sure if the sigh she let out was one of relief or frustration. The hot shower didn’t exactly purify her thoughts as she had hoped, but it did leave her feeling slightly more alert than previously, the effects of the alcohol wearing off slightly - stark contrast to him as she realised when she stepped out of the bathroom, drips of water following her as she made her way to the living room again, her hair slightly tangled and damp from where it reached her shoulder blades, her body wrapped in a white towel which she held onto tightly, though it did little to cover her long legs, a fact she was achtelt aware of once she was back in Nates presence. Serena had to clear her throat for a second before she could formulate words, carefully bending down to grab a hold of the glass she assumed was hers without exposing too much naked skin…or any more than was already on display. How was modesty so much harder than seduction? And how was it this contrary to both, her nature and her current longing. “Forgot to ask if you have anything I could wear...!” She finally spoke though the fact was probably more than just a little obvious as she stood in front of him. “If you tell me what to grab I can get it myself I just…didn’t know where!” The fact that it once had been common cutesy for her to raid Nates closet for anything she could wear, be it around his place or as some kind of outfit filled her with memories and made the fact that she now didn’t even know behind which door his bedroom was even more….confusing. “You know what, never mind, I can just put my clothes back on!” She finally added as she emptied the glass she had picked up. Apparently sobering up did nothing to make her want to drop her towel any less, so she might as well continue to easy the tension with alcohol. At least that’s how she explained her own actions to herself. The fact that contrary to her words and what they’d suggest she actually sat down next to him, hand reaching for the bottle to refill her glass before simply reaching for a blanket to place over her very exposed legs wasn’t exactly sensical - but neither was anything else happening in her life so far. Not to mention that something about the effect she still seemed to have on the man next to her ten years later was undeniably exciting and maybe, just maybe she did like playing with fire despite her earlier attempts of denying that little fact to herself, but now her mind wouldn’t stop replaying the way he had looked at her just moments earlier and she couldn’t quite remember feeling as desired in a very long time.

Nate: How he had even for a second thought that it would actually be easier to not think about sex once she finally stepped out of the shower and rejoined him was beyond him. Well, maybe if he had thought about the lack of clothes she'd brought to this sleepover earlier and had gotten her clothes to change into after her shower it would've been... but now? The way the towel clad to her still slightly wet body and the fact he smelt his shower gel on her body threw any kind of control over his mind and body right out of the window. His gaze was glued to her, suddenly wishing that his couch was even bigger than it already was but deep down he knew even then they wouldn't leave too much space between each other. Nate was sure that it wasn't just him who was struggling this much, her need for the shower probably not just due to the heat outside and the smell of the bar on her, yet he wondered for a moment if she was torturing him on purpose because she didn't want to be the first to blur the lines even further or if her body was acting mostly on its own as well. His mouth was too dry to speak right away, swallowing in an attempt to actually say something at least but words certainly didn't come easy to him right now. Did he want her to get dressed, whether that would be in his clothes or the dress she had been wearing earlier? Or did he actually not truly mind that she was only wearing a towel? It definitely hadn't been his intention earlier but now he wasn't so sure anymore. "Mm, no, that doesn't make sense, I can get you something to wear." He offered before he - a little absentmindedly - kissed a few drops of water off her shoulder, only leaning back a little to look at her again but not actually moving away or getting up to do what he'd just offered. "You think a shirt will do? Or do you need some shorts as well?" Nate whispered against her lips after he'd leaned closer to kiss her for yet another time, obviously unable to resist at least her lips for too long.

Serena: The air was charge with enough tension to possibly last them a lifetime, not that there had not already been plenty of those scenarios before - most of them going way back to their teens when Serena had boldly teased him, but back then it had always just been a game, albeit occasionally one she would have liked to loose. Now it wasn’t a game, not was it calculated and yet, the situation felt oddly similar, only this time both of them tried to restrain themselves. For a second the world stopped moving when her lips connected to the naked skin of her shoulder and Serena was sure the shaky breath that followed was telling him more than she wanted him to know about his effect on her body right now. Similarly she would have answered his question but how was she going to focus on getting dressed when all she really wanted for him to also loose his clothes and to go back on absolutely everything they’d promised each other earlier. It was suddenly hard to see why they thought restraint was the way to go after all this time anyways. Her lips eagerly welcomed his, for the first time actually allowing herself to not only project feelings but all of her desires into that kiss as her tongue met his in a moment that grew hungrier by the minute. Pulling away for a moment, primarily to catch her breath the blondes head fell back against the headrest of the couch, ironically enough providing him with a perfect view of her neck and peak of her breast as she closed her eyes for a moment. “…I really didn’t come here to have sex with you!” She exclaimed weakly before she looked at him and sighed, knowing that she’d possibly have to clarify her words. “I mean god…I want this, you..so badly, but that’s not what I was hoping for…!” Her words were barely coherent as she tried to grapple with all the emotions she felt in that moment. “All I know is that this feels right, but it’s also everything we said we wouldn’t do…!”

Nate: The kiss they just shared had him almost close to throwing even the last bit of hesitation out the window, so close to just pulling her onto his lap and screwing those rules they set for themselves. That was also why a small sound of protest left his lips when she broke away from the kiss, although it probably saved them both from doing what they at least initially didn't want to do. Right now he just didn't know if that was still what he truly wanted. "I know. Otherwise we'd be doing it already." Nate then admitted once he was finally able to lift his gaze from her exposed neck that he suddenly felt the urge to place kisses all over just so he'd hear her take another shaky breath before he grinned slightly despite his words being an honest statement that probably both of them knew was true. Not that Serena would've been to blame for it because every situation in the past as well happened due to a decision they both made. Or at least due to something they both acted on. And it was safe to say they'd always been a little horny for each other. But this was not just that. Yes, he was undeniably horny but he was longing to feel her soft, hot skin against his, to explore her body as if he'd never done so before, and he also wanted all the post-sex moments, the cuddles, the sweet nothings they'd whisper to each other.... Yeah, it wasn't just about sex, it was about so much more than that. "If it wasn't obvious yet - I want you just as badly and I can't remember why we tried to convince ourselves that this specific kind of slow was the way to go once again." He then said, his voice a little softer yet there was still a hint of amusement in it considering he was obviously referring to how when they had started dating in the past obviously failed at taking it slow then too. "Maybe we just need to... get it out of our system and then... go slow?" Sober Nate would probably realize that this sounded a little ridiculous (or did it really because was it really such a wrong thing if it actually felt right?) but he allowed the question to hang in the air between them and actually waited for her reaction.

Serena: "I think that is exactly what we did last time...!" Serena teased him as she let her eyes wander towards him again, having averted his gaze for a moment mostly to avoid the little grin that was playing on his lips and was so evident in his eyes as well. There was a boyish charm about him that she assumed would never quit leave, that twinkle in his eyes that made his innocence evaporate into thin air. It did feel slightly torturous though, what they were doing here and perhaps what she should do is get dressed again and just go home, sleep in her own bed and not risk the chance of messing this up, but...somehow that also did not really feel like an option. She knew the likely hood of them giving in now and 'getting it out of their system' was slim, they had not been with each other, explored each others bodies in years and she could not exactly deny that the thought of him had crossed her mind in that time - but imagining and actually getting to reconnect was something completely different and something told her if anything if they'd cross the line it'd be terribly hard if not impossible to get back to innocence. "Are you sure this is what you want?" She asked him quietly, not a no to his question but in reverse also only a yes if he was absolutely certain that this was the right thing for them to do, rings still on her finger and all...

Nate: His gaze locked with hers when her question reached his ears, his answer not something he needed to really think about because it was a definite yes. The only thing he wasn't sure of for a moment was whether it should come with a 'but' or not. Sure, there were some worries that had crossed his mind earlier and before that when they'd talked about the possibility of a future together. At that time, Dan hadn't even suggested a trial separation and it had been all very hypothetically but that did change. Yes, she was still married, she still had to finalize things - even have the conversation that would lead there and the possible divorce would take some time for legal reasons anyway but did that really mean they had to stay away from each other? Especially when they both somehow felt that being here was right? One thing he knew for sure was that he didn't want to make decisions based on anyone else's standards, on what other people thought was right or would work or should be. The issues they had in the past weren't a result of them moving too fast, there were entirely different reasons why they hadn't worked out. Maybe it was wrong for others, maybe things wouldn't work for a different couple if they gave into the sexual tension too fast but it actually had almost caused a rift between them back then because they allowed somebody else to tell them what was right or wrong. So, he settled on no 'but'. "Yes, it is what I want." Maybe calling it 'getting it out of their system' was wrong, even foolish to believe in the sense that if they went there, it would be difficult to not do it again for some time but if he was honest with himself, he actually didn't think there was anything wrong with it. Which was maybe retracting some of the things he had said earlier but those were worries that would actually keep him from what he truly wanted and he felt like it was time to allow himself to live a little and maybe put himself first for once as well.

Serena: He was clearly considering his answer carefully, actually thinking about her question rather than just saying yes for the sake of instant gratification and that alone reassured Serena that, yes, this wasn’t as wrong as other people would make them believe it was. Similarly to the first time around, when they had been content until people had started meddling. “in that case it’s a shame you didn’t join me in that shower like you wanted to….!” She teased him softly, no denying that she had thought of exactly that while she had been under the hot stream of water, part of her wanting and somewhat hoping he’d open the door again to join her - breaking their self imposed rule that they had now decided on disregarding anyways. The food on the table was equally forgotten, the only evident hunger in the room their apparent lust for each other, though she thought it was more than just lust, though clearly it was at the forefront of the conversation right now. They’d both gotten older since the last time they’d been in a situation like this, where it was so obvious that they’d both allow themselves to act on their physical attraction, but Serena had in no sense lost any of her confidence, at least not when it came to Nate it seemed, as she stood up from the couch, still holding onto the blanket and towel until she wasn’t, the fabric falling onto the floor leaving her in nothing but panties in front of him. “Show me how much you want me…!” The blonde whispered against his ear as she leant down, her words not only exactly what she wanted him to do, but also what she needed - only that this time she also knew that her need to feel desired came from an actual place of longing and not just from a need to feel something, anything.

Nate: Her teasing words caused a grin to appear on his face, not at all surprised that she knew he’d been fighting himself earlier to stay away from the bathroom and that it indeed had been a struggle. He figured his reaction was confirmation enough that he too thought it was a shame so he didn’t acknowledge it through spoken words as well. Plus, maybe a part of him felt like shower sex sounded too much of a quickie and while that would’ve been satisfying for sure, he wanted their second first time to be more. His gaze never once left Serena, following each movement with anticipation as his breathing grew a little heavier when the towel and blanket finally dropped to the ground, mouth slightly open while his eyes took in the sight in front of him. Her body had become more… feminine (if that were possible) since the last time he’d seen her (almost) naked, the tan from that time spent in the Hamptons still visible and Nate once again knew he’d never been drawn to anyone the way he was drawn to this mesmerizingly beautiful woman right in front of him. His eyes fluttered shut for a moment when she whispered into his ear, gentle goosebumps covering his skin instantly. “With pleasure,” he whispered back, moving his head to kiss her again, only that this time, he didn’t hold back at all. All of his longing, years if not decades of pining for this to happen, the anticipation, his feelings for her… a mix of it was transferred into the kiss, leaving him breathless when he forced himself to pull back again so he could gesture for her to stand up tall again. Even though he’d planned to move from the couch now as well, he couldn’t resist placing a few kisses against her hipbone before he finally got up as well. Grabbing the hem of his shirt, he pulled it over his head before he smoothly removed his pants as well, now standing with the same amount of clothing in front of her. It was only fair if she’d stripped down that he’d too, right? Though he didn’t gave her as much time as he had to take the moment in, his lips crashing against hers again as his hands grabbed her thighs to lift her up, motioning for her to wrap her legs around him before he carried her upstairs to his bedroom. The bed was still the same as he’d left it this morning, unmade and yesterdays clothes scattered on the floor but he hardly cared about that right now. She was the only thing that mattered. He was gentle when he climbed into bed with her, her back now hitting the mattress as he hovered over her, lips moving to her neck and further down until his tongue circled her nipple all while his fingers teasingly caressed her belly before they finally moved down further and disappeared beneath the fabric of her panties, stroking her folds lightly.

Serena: Serena had always been confident, mens reaction to her and her body a constant companion and somewhat of a crutch for years, starting in her teens all through her young adulthood and admittedly still something she partially fed off of today; knowing you could invoke a physical reaction from someone, intentionally or not, was powerful knowledge after all. It hardly ever truly affected her though, never had - possibly a result of too many nights or teenage debauchery where her body and sex had almost been a currency, or perhaps she’d gotten used to playing into the fantasy of men over the years - though none of it compared to the moment she could feel Nate’s eyes taking in every inch of her body. If she didn’t know better, if the memories of previous days and Nate’s spent with him were not still present in her mind she could have sworn he was taking her in for the very first time, the flutter in her stomach supporting that theory. The blonde would have protested to how little time she had to let her eyes and fingers get reacquainted with his frame, but it was hard to do when his lips were on hers, her legs wrapped around him and she was no longer quite sure where he ended and she began. His touch was light and airy, both his tongue on her breasts and his fingers below the fabric of her underwear, not hesitant but soft and teasing - though he hardly needed to touch her at all for her body to react to his, the heat pooling between her legs proving just that. While she remember what it had felt like to be with him when they were younger, she hardly remember what he felt like, her hands refamilisrising them self with his body as her fingertips traced the lines of his back and shoulder, anything she could reach and hold onto in this moment, nails occasionally digging into his skin, especially whenever his tongue sent a jolt through her body, back arching into his touch. “Look at me!” She rasped softly, encouraging him to stop what he was doing at least for a moment - no matter how much pleasure it brought her. “…I want to remember this!” She whispered against his lips when he did face her again, her tongue teasingly brushing over his lower lip for her moment before her teeth grazed the soft skin. “I want to remember every inch of your body…and every inch of you…!”

Nate: Her reactions to his touch, to him were addicting, every inch of him enjoying the feeling they evoked, craving so much more of it. Part of him already wished they could stay in this moment forever because it just felt like this was where they belonged. It was all kinds of exciting to get to explore her for another time, it felt so familiar yet so different and new - in all the best ways and it was just as thrilling to feel her do the same with his body. The way he trembled lightly beneath her touch indicated that he wanted more; needed more but when she stopped him and made him look at her, he obeyed to her wish slowing down even more for a moment to lock eyes with her. A soft sigh slipped from Nate's lips, a combined reaction to her words which held the promise that this night would indeed be special and her tongue that teasingly touched his lip. Nate held her gaze for another moment, the look in his eyes telling her more than the words he was lacking right now even could; he wanted to remember this too, more than he ever wanted to remember anything before and it didn't even matter if this was the start of something he'd been wanting for so long now or if it wasn't. For now, for tonight, it was just her and him. So instead of saying anything, he kissed her again, tenderly at first before he deepened it - only pulling back so he could finally take off her panties, and just to keep the level of clothing on their body fair, also get rid of his boxers at the same time. This time, as he now kneeled next to her on the bed, he gave her a little more time to let her gaze roam over his body, just to give her what she'd asked for, grabbing her hand and placing it on his chest so she could feel his heartbeat, and then slowly guiding it a little lower to his abs - those obviously being the newest feature since the last time she'd seen him naked. He'd always had an athletic body, which honestly came with the territory of being the captain of almost every sports team at St. Jude's but it had never been trained the way it was now. Perks of having a gym inside the apartment complex' which he lived in and his workouts being the only actual free time he seemed to get on the regular.

Serena: The mix of the incredibly familiar with the unfamiliar was intoxicating - it had been similar when they’d last gotten back together, the memory of their very first night spent together overwritten then by new memories, only to now meld into a completely new chapter altogether. Nates assertiveness and confidence was perhaps what had grown the most over the years, his own awareness of his effect not just in her but on women an obvious trait - and one she was all too eager to witness, especially if it meant he’d give her all this time to let her eyes roam over his naked body only to encourage her fingers to explore his naked chest, his heartbeat matching hers as she paused to just feel the heat of his skin underneath her finger tips for a moment. When he slowly guided her hand lower she couldn’t help but grin at him, frankly not expecting him to stop when her touch reached his abs though it was clear that he’d put many hours into this version of his body and she’d be lying if she’d deny that she more than appreciated it, her gaze following the lines of her fingers as she traced his muscles, following the line all the way down to the v of his hips, eyes flickering up to meet his for a moment before she confidently let her hand brush his length, fingertip tracing the underside of him before she wrapped her fingers around him, strokes slow but deliberate - the ultimate goal not to tease since something told her they’d possibly have the rest of the night to explore, manipulate, tease and tire each other out, but for not she wanted to, as she had said, feel him. “How often have you thought of this?” The blonde asked, not a taunting question but a serious one.

Nate: It was incredibly rewarding to watch her take everything of him in now, his eyes not once straying from her face to see every little reaction. Sometimes he wondered how all of his senses always seemed so… heightened when he was with her but he really liked the feeling. No matter how many other sexual experiences he’s had, nothing came close to this. Nate grinned back at her, knowing what she assumed his next move would be but also liking that she took her time instead, just like he’d silently asked her to. But when she finally reached where he’d been craving her touch the most, a little moan escaped him as his teeth slowly sunk into his lower lip and he closed his eyes for a moment. The question lingered between them for a moment, not because he didn’t want to answer it but because he was a little too lost in the moment to actually form a coherent sentence. “Too many times.” He then admitted, his voice a little hoarse as his gaze now met hers again, moving slightly from his current position so he could lean down and kiss her again. “I’ve been thinking about and longing for this for a really long time but I guess that’s kind of our thing.” He whispered against her lips, grinning for a moment because it wasn’t the first time he’d made a similar confession and he was sure they both remembered it still before he kissed her, once again demonstrating his longing for her through it as his hand reached for hers again, pushing it down into the mattress above her head, interlacing their fingers while he moved from his spot next to her back to his previous position between her legs. He knew they’d both been ready long before they’d even consciously made the decision to go all the way tonight, and waiting longer than he already had to feel all of her felt like torture so Nate didn’t hesitate to push her legs open just a little more and position himself at her entrance, pushing into her slowly. “Oh, Serena…” He lowered his head, trembling with an effort to go slow as his lips brushed over the soft skin of her neck before he filled her completely with one hard thrust, groaning against her skin. If he had been a little overwhelmed by the sensations earlier, he was now lost in a whirlwind of pleasure, the intensity of it, desperately craving more while at the same time wanting to savor every second and go as slow as possible, caused him to hold still for a moment to allow them both to enjoy the sensations rushing through their bodies. His fingers gripped onto hers a bit tighter when he could no longer resist the urge to begin moving again, thrusts still slow but hard as he lifted his head to look at her.

Serena: There was a quality to his deliberate movements, to the slowness of his actions. They were not underlined by uncertainty, doubt, or any kind of hesitating, they were punctuated by determination and a certain kind of force that was just bold enough to take her breath away. He was gentle without concern, at least not the kind of concern that she’d break under his touch, but much rather gentle for the sake of savouring the moment and each other. Although he had paused for a moment after the overwhelming sensation after he had thrust into her and yet it felt like she barely hard time to adjust to the sensation - to adjust to him in that moment. Her eyes met his, an encouraging twinkle in them that was only underlined by little gasps for air, all her senses filling with just him as she locked eyes with his, her body encouraging him to explore hers further, long legs adjusted to feel even more of him, her hand that he wasn’t holding differing into the muscles in his back, all while her hips shifted against his, meeting his thrust with an equal intensity, if not silently begging for more.

Nate: Though the encouragement wasn’t necessarily needed, it was still an absolute turn-on to have this additional confirmation that she was craving more as much as he was. There was no need to be shy or to hold back and boy, did he explore her body - touching, biting, licking, caressing, thrusting, whispering words of affirmation into her ear - all of it turning this night into something that would be forever theirs. A night worth remembering no matter what the future was holding for them. And yet, when they were done exploring each other like it was the first time all over again and their bodies were finally all tired out but satisfied, Nate couldn’t help but hope it wouldn’t be the last time he’d fall asleep with her in his arms.

#theserenavdw

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mrschuckbass · 3 years ago

Text

Opposite Sides of the Bridge Chapter 2: We Should Be Friends.

Disclaimer: I only own Elizabeth and a few minor characters that you will meet along the way.

~Well then, we should be friends~

(Miranda Lambert)

I bet you're wondering what Gossip Girl is doing up so early. Truth is, I never went to bed. Why waste precious time dreaming when waking life is so much better. Is there really anything better than a lazy Sunday? Reading the paper in bed, sipping coffee. Scrambling an egg or two. Yeah, right. We Upper East Siders don't do lazy. Breakfast is brunch. And it come with champagne, a dress code and a hundred of our closest friends…and enemies. Chuck's dad Bart Bass is hosting the annual brunch for his foundation. Everyone is invited. Well not everyone.

Elizabeth woke up to Dan raising the door between the rooms. Normally she was a morning person. In fact, if she hadn't spent the night in her sister's room she probably would have already been up and out by now. But that was not the case.

"You're up?" Dan said to Jenny who was sitting at her desk.

"Not sleepy…" Jenny began and looked at Elizabeth "Actually she's up too"

"Dude, it's a Sunday. It means sleeping in" she replied.

"Says the girl who is up at 6am every day to go for a run and then hits the ice rink before any of us are up." Jenny said. "Plus, he is just checking in on me"

"Now that you see she is good, can we go back to sleep? When I sleep in I wanna sleep in. And those who want to not get punched should follow that rule." Elizabeth said glaring at her brother.

"Lizzie is right. I'm okay" Jenny said. "I just feel really stupid. I mean how could, I have actually thought that Chuck Bass just wanted to talk to me?"

"Alright I am up" she replied sitting up.

"Because you trust people" Dan replied "Which is normally a good thing"

"Except on the Upper East Side" Elizabeth said.

"Pretty much"

"So how are you?" Jenny asked Dan as he was putting the door down.

"Me?" he asked and pushed it back up. "Why wouldn't I be, okay?"

"Oh" Elizabeth said "She means the uh…"

She and Jenny did the awkward wave.

"Was it really that bad?" he asked.

"Um yeah" Elizabeth replied "You could have walked her to the door or at least the elevator. That's the gentlemen thing to do."

"I tried but she shut the door in my face"

"After she sat there basically signaling you" Elizabeth said, "You really need to learn girl signals, or you will never make it in the dating world."

"Really?"

"That's why I told you to go" Jenny said.

"J and I were probably the most embarrassed" Elizabeth said "We were trying to be friends with her, and you ruined our chance"

"She probably thinks I hate her now. I've waited my entire adolescent life for a date with this girl. You know Serena Van der Woodsen. And I decided to close the evening with a wave"

"It was a nice wave"

"Lizzie?"

"Well, it was nice but for an already weird date, you could have done better. Like way better"

"You only get one shot with a girl like Serena, and I blew it"

"Which means you have nothing to lose" Jenny said

"Except my last shred of dignity"

"No that's gone too" Elizabeth said then smiled "You know you're very blessed to have two sisters to guide you. Without us you'd be so screwed."

"Without us he wouldn't have even got the first date to begin with."

Dan smiled and shook his head. They were pains in the ass, but he did love his sisters.

"You know what? You're right. I'm just gonna go talk to her" Dan said "I'm gonna go apologize for the wave. Then tell her how much I like her and I'm gonna ask her for a second chance. No, I'm gonna get a second chance"

"Yeah, you are!" Jenny shouted and Dan went to leave.

"Dan!" Elizabeth yelled and he came back "Maybe shower first?"

"Yes, thank you" he said then shut the center door. Elizabeth laughed then turned to Jenny.

"What are you doing today?" she asked her sister.

"Don't know? You?"

Elizabeth smiled thinking of her talk with Nate. Her first conversation with Nate where he said she had a cute laugh.

"I'm gonna see if Dan goes through with it" she said then went to her room and changed into something cute and a little noticeable. She checked herself in the mirror and pulled her hair back. "And maybe I'll run into Nate"

Chuck and Nate*

Nate's phone rang. Chuck laid there annoyed.

"Nathaniel keeps it down, some of us are trying to regain our strength"

"Your dad's brunch is today"

"Alarms set for 9:00"

"It's 10"

Chuck sighed and sat up.

"Ladies, double-time" Chuck said then spotted Nate "oh unless…Nathaniel?"

"I'm good" Nate replied "Actually could you two bring some coffee when you get a chance and some water, lots of water"

"You want ice with that?" one of the girls asked then turned to Chuck "Looks like you could use some"

"That's enough ladies" Chuck said, and they left.

Nate looked at Chuck's eye.

"That kid popped you pretty good. Never mess with a guy's sister. And in his case, he has two"

"If I knew his name, I'd hunt him down and kill him" Chuck replied.

"Why 'cause you kill people now?" Nate asked and picked up his scarf. "You gonna strangle him with your scarf"

"Don't mock the scarf Nathaniel. It's my signature"

"Just saying, death by scarf, not that intimidating"

"He sucker punched me, I told you. Besides better a broken nose than a broken heart"

"What? I didn't even talk to Serena last night" Nate replied.

"Who said anything about Serena" Chuck replied.

"Oh, you were discussing your mystery girl your so fond of. This Ballerina you saw in the gym."

"She bends in ways that would make a night with her an incredible one" he replied.

After changing she headed to the Palace hotel where she knew Serena was staying and assuming Nate would be here because she knew Chuck's father owned the hotel. She stepped into the elevator.

"Liz, right?" she heard Nate say and she turned to him.

"Um yeah it's short for Elizabeth" she replied with a glare.

"You're mad at me?" He asked

"What?"

"Your face. The glare. You gave it to Penelope after she push all your stuff out of your hands freshman year."

"You remember that?" she asked. "How?"

"That's how I knew your name. You told me when I handed your stuff back"

"Oh" she said looking down then back up.

"And I'm sure you were about to introduce yourself to me last night as well?"

"Yeah, about that. You just walked away from a conversation. Who does that?"

"I'm sorry. I was actually enjoying talking to you. You are different than anyone I've met"

"And yet you walked away from that?" she asked folding her arms.

"There was a thing from my past and I had to keep my girlfriend from killing her"

"Blair?"

"Yeah" he replied, "You two friends?"

"Yeah right. That would probably be a cold day in hell when that happens"

"You just say what you feel?"

"No filter, or so they say. I'm also an intense rambler and have probably bored people to death with the constant rambling" She said "Like now"

"I see" he replied "I really am sorry. If it would have been different, I may have stayed to talk"

"Likely excuse" she said looking at him then laughed "You're forgiven"

He smiled and the elevator stopped, and they both got out.

"You here to see Serena?" he asked.

"I need to apologize on behalf of my brother and his awkward ending to their date"

"That was your brother last night? The guy who showed up with Serena."

"Yeah" she replied, "That was the Blair killing event?"

"He punched Chuck" he stated avoiding that last part she said.

"Well Chuck deserved it" she replied.

"I'm not gonna argue with that" he replied

"Good" she replied "If you did, I was gonna say we couldn't be friends"

"We're friends now?"

"Well, you are definitely on a trial run, but we will see how you do" she flirted, and he laughed.

"Sounds good friend" he replied.

"Hey Nate" A lady said "It's good to see you"

"Hi Mrs. Van der Woodsen. Good to see you as well."

"Who's your friend?"

"Elizabeth" he replied.

"Humphrey" she responded "I'm a friend of Serena's"

"Is she in?"

"You guys just missed her. I can tell her you stopped by."

"That's okay" Elizabeth said as they rounded the corner.

"Dexter here can take care of you. I'm just gonna step out for a while" the lady said "Nate and his friend are gonna wait for Serena"

"Great, they can get in line behind that guy" Dexter said and pointed to Dan.

"Lizzie?" Dan questioned.

"I had a feeling you'd be back. Dan, was it?"

"Humphrey yes. And I see you've met my sister Elizabeth. It's nice to see you again Mrs. Van der Woodsen" Dan said shaking her hand "I hope you've had a pleasant um 21 hours since I last saw you."

Elizabeth was trying her best not to laugh at her brother.

"Yes, it's been very pleasant…until now." Mrs. Van der Woodsen said then left. The boys looked at each other.

"Hey" Nate said.

"Hey" Dan replied.

Silence filled the room. Elizabeth looked between the two.

"What are you doing here Lizzie?" Dan asked.

"She was mad at me and wanted to confront me" Nate replied smiling at her.

"I didn't know you two knew each other. Lizzie doesn't really associate with…"

"Um, well we ran into each other last night at the party." Elizabeth replied "I'm gonna go now"

She looked to Nate and smiled.

"Thanks, Nate, for the talk in the elevator."

"Anytime Liz" he smiled. She went to correct him but the way he said Liz made her smile

She got back home and spotted stuff on the counter to make waffles. She smiled and began to make some. A little while later the door opened, and her dad walked in.

"I thought I smelt waffles" her dad said.

"I only made enough for me, but I can easily make you some"

"I'm good. I already ate"

"What! Rufus Humphrey doesn't want Waffles. Are you feeling, okay? Do we need to go to the hospital?"

"Funny Rock star" he said picking up his guitar and playing.

Elizabeth loves listening to her dad play. In fact, she probably loves music as much as he does. It's their thing.

Dan, Nate, and Chuck*

Dan stood on one side and Nate the other. Dan turned to Nate.

"So, uh…what do you need to talk to Serena about?"

"Nothing just in the neighborhood"

"Well, what was that with my sister?" "Just friendly conversation" Nate replied, "What did you need to talk to Serena about?"

"I'm nowhere near the neighborhood but I'm working on a better excuse"

"You guys like…"

Dan looked at him and began shaking his head.

"Oh, uh… I… I don't know"

"Yeah, well that's Serena" Nate replied. "With her you'll never know"

"Nathaniel. There you are" Chuck said walking out of the hotel. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing. Just waiting for you" Nate said walking toward him. Chuck spotted Dan then took off his sunglasses.

"Him?"

Dan started walking toward him.

"Hey, what are you doing here?" Chuck asked Dan.

"Why, what is this, uh your hotel?" Dan asked.

"Actually, it is" Nate replied.

"Yeah, so unless you have a reason to be here, I'll have to ask you to wait on the curb with the rest of the trash"

"Trash? Look, man. I live in Brooklyn, alright? Not the Ozarks. No offense to the Ozarks. But don't you think you're taking this class warfare thing a little too far?"

"I haven't even started man" Chuck replied.

"Okay, man. Let's just go. Tell me about the Ballerina again" Nate said trying to keep Chuck from starting a fight.

"Don't tell me you're sticking up for Serena's new bitch. If anyone's got a reason to kick his ass, it's you"

"It's not worth it. Not here" he replied.

Chuck went to lunge at Dan and Nate pulled him back. And they started walking away.

"This isn't over!" Chuck shouted.

"Hey, anytime man. That one black eye looks a little lonely" Dan shouted.

"Come on," Nate said dragging Chuck away.

Rufus continued playing while Elizabeth picked up the kitchen. The front door opened, and Jenny walked in.

"Hey Dad. How's the new song going?" Jenny asked.

"I think I need more coffee" he said putting the guitar away.

"Whatever works?"

"What's in the bag?" Elizabeth asked.

"A dress" Jenny replied taking it out.

"Where'd you get it?" Rufus asked.

"It was a thank you gift from Blair for doing the party invitations"

"It looks like a very expensive thank you gift"

"Knowing Blair, it probably is" Elizabeth replied

"She has a closet the size of this apartment full of them" Jenny replied "See her mom designs it"

"And her mom is very talented." Rufus said, "But the dresses you made for you and your sister were much nicer."

"Which is why you don't wear dresses"

"That and he'd look funny. No offense dad" Elizabeth replied.

"None taken"

"Hey, do you think the farmers market is still open?" Jenny asked.

"Yeah why? You wanna go?" their dad asked.

"Yeah"

"I thought you were getting too old to go places with your dad."

"Well, you used to be cool, and the 90s are having a comeback." Jenny said and walked to her room.

"You have no idea how much that hurt"

"You're always cool dad" Elizabeth said.

"You wanna come?"

"I think I'll stay, maybe jam out a little, I actually wrote a song I want to try out" Elizabeth said. That was another she loved doing when she wasn't focused on skating. She was also a musician.

"Don't get better than me" he joked.

"Never" she said

Jenny and her dad left, and Elizabeth went to her room and pulled out her guitar. Her dream was to be either an Olympic Figure skater or a Rock Star and though it was far-fetched she practiced every day. When she wasn't on the ice, she was playing the guitar or singing.

Dan (At Brunch) *

Dan walked around wondering where Serena had gone. He was starting to get why his sister hated social events, but he was sure their reasoning's were completely different. Blair started walking toward him.

"Dan. Hi" she said putting her hand out and he shook it "I'm Blair Waldorf, Serena's friend"

He knew she was because neither one of his sisters would shut up about her and not for the same reasons. Jenny looked up to her and Elizabeth couldn't stand her.

"Oh, hey. Yeah, uh, do you happen to know where she is?" He asked.

"As a matter of fact, I do"

"Blair" Serena said coming over Nate behind her.

"Serena, there you are. Uh where were you?" he asked.

"She was waiting in a hotel room for my boyfriend" Blair answered.

"To talk" Serena replied.

"About why we weren't talking" Nate replied.

"That doesn't sound any smarter the second time" Blair added.

"Why weren't you talking?" Dan asked confused. "Does this have anything to do with why you were waiting for Serena this morning?"

"You were what?"

"Here I thought you were waiting for me" Chuck responded joining the conversation.

"Oh, exactly what the situation needs, Chuck." Dad said, "Now what is going on here?"

"We were just getting to that" Blair said.

"Blair, please. Don't do this" Serena pleaded

"Sorry" Blair replied then glanced at Serena "Oh, do you wanna tell him?"

"I'll tell him" Chuck blurted.

"You know?" Everyone asked.

"I know everything."

"And apparently I know nothing" Dan said.

"Look, Dan. It… it was a long time ago, and I regret it"

"Look Serena, stop trying to pretend you're a good girl. So, you slept with your best friends' boyfriend. I kind of admire you for it"

"Is that true?" Dan asked.

"Well, then she ran away and lied about it." Blair said then turned to Dan "I just thought you should know before you fall head over heels for your perfect girl and her perfect world, and then get left all alone with no one but your cabbage patch kid and your loner twin sister."

"Cabbage patch?" Nate asked.

"Did you talk to Jenny" he asked knowing Elizabeth would never tell Blair about Cedric.

"Ah, yes, little Jenny. I do believe she and I have some unfinished business or perhaps your other sister Elizabeth and I can get acquainted."

Dan got in Chuck's face.

"Stay away from them"

"Poor Daniel, so little time so many sluts to defend" Chuck said, and Dan pushed him knocking over a waiter then left.

After a few hours the door opened, and Dan walked in mad. Elizabeth put her guitar away and put the kettle on for some tea.

"So?" she started.

"I don't…"

"Then we will sit in silence, and I'll try Twin mind reading."

"I lost her" he replied.

"I'm…"

"Lizzie it's okay" he said,

It was silent for a second and she thought of what Nate said earlier.

"Does it have to do with Nate?" she asked. Dan gave her a curious look.

"What do you know?"

"I know that last night I was talking to Nate and then he was gone"

"That's why you were mad at him?"

"He said earlier today that he was sorry that something from his past had shown up and he had to keep his girlfriend from killing her. You and Serena showed up around that time."

He looked at her weird.

"I'm always the smartest person in the room. I can put two and two together faster than anyone can say what."

"Turns out he and Serena slept together"

"Wow" she replied. "I knew it was something in that region but not that exact thing"

"Yeah" he replied, "Does that make you look at Nate different?"

"No, we all have a past. You can't exactly hold people accountable now for something that happened then. That's why it's the past. But it does teach us not to make the same mistakes"

"Are you sure you're not really the older twin"

"Nope sorry you were born first; I just got all the wisdom" she smiled.

Dan nodded then looked around.

"Where's dad and Jenny?" he asked as the door opened.

"Hi" Jenny said.

"Hey! Jen said you went looking for Serena. Did you find her?" their dad asked.

"I found her and then I lost her" Dad replied.

"That's uh…"

"Like I told Lizzie it's fine. It's all for the best. Serena and her friends and her family…her whole world…turns out it just wasn't for me." Dan said and Elizabeth grabbed his hand. He gave it a light squeeze then took it back and stood up and began walking to his room.

"Wait Dan what happened?" Jenny asked.

Dan stopped and turned back around.

"Did you tell Blair Waldorf about Cedric?"

"That's not good" Elizabeth said

"I…it may have come up" Jenny replied.

"You can't trust these people, Jen. Don't tell them anything" he said then spotted Jenny's flowers "Those are nice flowers"

Dan walked into his room and shut the door. Elizabeth turned to Jenny.

"They're very nice J" she replied, "How was the farmers market?"

"It was good" Jenny smiled smelling her flowers.

Later that night Elizabeth followed her brother onto the fire escape.

"Penny for your thoughts" she asked, and he held his hand out and she dropped the penny. She sat down next to him and laid her head on his shoulder grabbing his arm,

"It's always gonna be us against the world?"

"Humphrey Twins versus the World." She smiled "Sounds like an awesome Comic book"

He laughed and shook his head.

Well Serena's man is a mystery no longer. His name is…oh, who cares? Now that he and S are over, so are his 15 minutes. But his sister Jenny was spotted with a new dress…gifted from Blair herself. Everyone knows an Eleanor Original is the uniform of B's private army. But will J be a Loyal Soldier, or will she side with S's rebel forces? And as for S herself. We hear that she left today's brunch with no friends, no boy, and nowhere left to run. It looks like the ultimate insider has become a total outsider. It's your move Serena. And you know who will be watching.

X.O.X.O Gossip Girl

#gossip girl #fanfic #fanfiction #chuck bass #nate archibald #original character #wattpad #fanfiction.net #carter baizen #humphrey

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girlsgonemildblog · 4 years ago

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I Am In This Episode and I Don't Like It - Emily in Paris, Season 1, Episode 6 Recap (Spoilers!!)

Poster from IMDB

Birds having sex. That is how this episode opens. Shots of birds fucking. We then cut away from this to Emily lying in bed, unable to sleep because Gabriel and Camille are having extremely loud sex. I have heard neighbors through walls and the people above me's bed banging on the floor, but never have I heard the people who live below me (like Gabriel and Camille do to Emily) having sex. They must be really loud. Also, based on this scene, Emily sleeps with full makeup (including lipstick) and her hair perfectly curled. I honestly think the production team wanted this show to be mocked.

The next morning, Emily is again eating at a café with Mindy, who is whining about how her dad wants to buy her a BMW and a mansion. Her life is honestly so hard. She then reveals to Emily that she was on a singing competition show in China, where she failed miserably and became a meme. Not to repeat myself, but I think the show's goal is to be mocked.

Emily gets to work, and we learn that, because they are meeting with an important couture designer that day, she was told specifically to wear all black. At least the show is self-aware with how terrible her outfit choices are. They arrive at Pierre Cadault's studio, and it is clear that his aesthetic is definitely not all black - more beiges and pastels, just like the rest of Paris. I think the writers were thinking of New York when they chose all black; someone should tell them fashion isn't the same everywhere. Cadault comes to meet them, sees Emily's tacky Eiffel Tower bag charm, and calls her "ringarde" or "basic,” and then storms out of the meeting. A bit dramatic, if I’m being honest, but also, the bag charm was pretty basic:

That night, Emily is minding her own business eating dinner alone when some (not even cute) man begins talking to her about whether a couple at another table is mother-and-son or dating. After a cut to show that time has passed, Emily finishes the story of her meeting with Cadault. The man, named Tomas, says that it is "ringarde" to call someone "ringarde" and then says he doesn't think she's basic - he clearly does not know her very well. He then starts a pretentious speech about known sexist pig, Pablo Picasso, and a bunch of other buzz-word names. Tomas is a know-it-all asshole and reminds me of every guy I have ever dated. Emily is impressed, nonetheless, and sleeps with him. Do better, Emily. Also, while I love Lily Collins, she is not great at acting in sex scenes; it was unbearably awkward. By the way, even Emily's bras have pictures of Paris on them:

The next morning, she runs into Camille, who tells her that she can hear Emily just as well as Emily can hear her and Gabriel. The fact that they all hear each other, but not any of the other neighbors, is pretty solid evidence for my no-one-else-lives-there theory.

At work, Emily brags to Julien about how Tomas quoted poetry to her, and Julien rightfully says that's boring. As an English major who has had to deal with many men interested in poetry, it's only hot in theory. In practice, it's boring and annoying, and they always expect you to be so impressed that they can quote the same Shakespeare sonnet that everyone had to memorize in High School Brit Lit. Emily then learns that Sylvie is holding a meeting without her and not speaking to her because she lost them the account with Cadault, one of Sylvie's favorite designers. Apparently, Emily is not the only person at this office with no sense of professionalism.

Emily meets Mindy at their bench in the park, and they are again talking about Mindy's singing career. I cannot express how little I care about this plotline. Mindy says she has too much PTSD from her failure on "Chinese Popstar" to audition for a local jazz club, but when Emily asks her to sing for her right there, Mindy is belting in the middle of the park with very little convincing. (Here is the moment where I take a break from my criticizing everything to say I absolutely love Ashley Park's voice. Please go listen to "What's Wrong With Me?" from the Mean Girls Musical soundtrack.)

That night, Emily and Tomas run into Gabriel and Camille outside their building, because of course they do. (It was at this moment that I realized the actor who plays Gabriel, Lucas Bravo, could very easily fill the Armie-Hammer-sized hole we currently have in society.) Being her always-friendly, always-oblivious self, Camille forces Emily and Tomas to go on a double date with her and Gabriel. Gabriel sees right through Tomas's bullshit, which is probably easy to do since Tomas is blatantly rude to Gabriel because Tomas is the type to only be polite to people he wants to fuck. Back at her apartment, remembering her conversation with Camille that morning, Emily tells Tomas that they need to be quieter when they have sex. They are (somehow) even louder than before.

Because the whole premise of this show seems to be that Emily lucks herself into things, while walking to work the next day, she notices in the corner of a sign for a ballet that Pierre Cadault designed the costumes and that opening night is that night. After Sylvie refuses to go with her (and rips up the original tickets), she invites Tomas to join her.

As she's leaving for the ballet (in an absolutely ridiculous outfit), she runs into Gabriel again. Are you guys as tired of reading that phrase as I am of writing it? We may have to turn it into a drinking game. Gabriel tells Emily the truth about what he thinks of Tomas, calling him "an asshole masquerading as an intellectual." I loved that line. He also tells her that she is "wasting her time with a guy who doesn't deserve her," and um, what exactly is so great about Emily?

When Emily arrives at the ballet and meets up with Tomas, he asks her if he is playing a joke on him by bringing him to see "Swan Lake", which, according to him, is "for tourists". "Swan Lake" is actually my favorite ballet, so fuck him. Emily then has a moment of clarity and finally realizes what her horniness had kept her from seeing the last three days; Tomas is a pretentious douche. (Emily actually said "snob" but I feel "pretentious douche" is more precise). Tomas responds by calling Emily "simpleminded". When he realizes she's offended by this, for some reason, he tries to better the situation by calling her "simple but beautiful". I believe the sound I made at this point would be called a "guffaw". When she still isn't happy, he tells her to go to the ballet, and he'll meet her afterward and "treat her to some amazing sex." She flips him off and walks away, which is actually a lot more polite than how I would've responded in that situation.

She then finds Cadault and explains to him that she always wanted to be Serena van der Woodsen and would buy bag charms because it was the only thing she could afford from the designers that she worshipped. Cadault turns out to be a Gossip Girl fan, which is revealed by having him spoil Gossip Girl. Seriously, he just straight-up SAYS who Gossip Girl is. I know it's been 8 years, but there should've been a spoiler warning or something. I already knew, but what if I hadn't? It was rude. Anyway, the next day Sylvie gets a call from Cadault that he wants a meeting with her and tells her to "bring Gossip Girl". Everything always works out for Emily in the end.

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mrs-nate-humphrey · 3 years ago

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the lily-carol sibling murder plot is unironically more compelling than the actual carol-ivy-lola plot we got lmao. i wonder how lily would have gotten away with killing carol, was it just covered up? did she get off on a technicality? does ivy keep working with lola to seek vengeance, or does she decide to assume her identity full-time in want of a family, like she did in season 5? how does serena react to finding out her mom killed her own sister?? so many possibilities lmao

oooh, okay, so we're doing this, huh? well, i'll try my best. and if any of my followers/ anons with galaxy brains more galactic than mine wanna add or pitch in, PLEASE do!

so, van der woodsen women, you know. queens of concealment or whatever. we KNOW in canon that lily & cece specially are very "must protect the family name." i bet cece would find a way around it, assuming cece knows. it's very possible that cece knows and is like, whatever, because cece honestly loves her grandchildren 5000x more than she loves her daughters KLHFDKLGH.

alternately (& more likely) - lily kills carol, and then goes, fuck, what did i do!!! and she goes to rufus. nobody loves lily the way rufus does - and she knows this. he's engaged to alison, the last thing he needs is his ex (who he never quite got over) showing up at his place in complete disarray. but hey, is that blood under her fingernails? also her hair has never looked this awful in all the time he's known her. so:

"lil, what's going on? yeah, i can spare a minute. shit, okay, stay calm. if they don't find the body, they can't incriminate you. we'll find a way to fix this, okay? what's the murder weapon? i'll help you hide it. don't panic. come on. deep breaths. okay, let's go."

fast forward to now.

ivy dickens is shady, morally grey and lonely, and she immediately befriends lola rhodes, because lola doesn't take her shit. "oh, your family didn't love you? at least you had a family," lola tells her, smiling pleasantly while her eyes are stone cold. and ivy is like, holy shit, this woman.... anyway, they become best friends and then girlfriends. but ivy just can't get over it. "it's impossible that you don't have a family," she says. "now that you're 18, can't you find information about them?"

so they do that. at some point, organically, they bump into nate archibald, at the library. he hates reading, but because he's a himbo, has somehow become the ceo of a NEWS OUTLET of all things. this is their shot, so lola pretends to be ivy, finds a way to seduce nate against the bookshelves (not very difficult) while the real ivy just goes "okay, that's hot."

anyway, they use nate for information. once things fall into place, lola realises that she doesn't actually want to do confrontation, because it's just Too Much. her girlfriend goes, "hey, what if i pretend to be you?" and voila! charlie arc, babey.

lily freaks the fuck out when she sees "charlie" because she knows what's going to happen. lola meanwhile is busy building her case and... ends up genuinely becoming friends with nate. "if you're unhappy here, why don't you just leave?" she asks him at some point. he frowns, wondering what he's doing at a news outlet.

"what about the spectator?" nate asks.

"didn't you have writer and journalist friends?" lola asks.

nate immediately thinks of vanessa. calls her, and goes, "hey, how would you like to be the CEO of a news outlet? i ended up here and i hate it." and vanessa's like, "how do these things happen to you nate! but i don't wanna be a ceo, im a freelancer. i have friends and colleagues who might be up to task though, i'll give you a reference list and you can interview them or something." so he hands over the spectator to someone who actually knows what they’re doing.

meanwhile, ivy ("charlie") gets close to dan and serena. and then, at a coordinated time, she introduces them to lola. lola and ivy fess up to dan, serena and nate about their scheme and why they did it. dan and serena lose their shit over rufly, as expected ("my mom killed her sister??" / "my dad helped her get away with it??" ) - remember, both dan and serena are elder siblings, and fiercely protective of their little sibs at that. this is GENUINELY unforgiveable to them. they confront rufus and lily. van der humphrey drama unfolds.

im rolling with the "cece doesn't know what happened" arc here, because it makes more sense. she thought her daughter just ... ran away and abandoned her kid. she did not know that carol was actually dead. however, when ivy and lola show up, they both befriend her, and eventually tell her the truth. cece supports them, and BOTH ivy and lola get something they never expected - a sense of family. cece is like a grandmother to BOTH of them. when she dies almost Everything she owns goes entirely to ivy and lola. lily doesn't get a penny. serena and eric get a part of it, as expected, but not as much as ivy & lola. dan, also, surprisingly, gets things from her - things that used to belong to her late husband, vintage books, because even in death, cece is a derena shipper. anyway!

dan & serena don't know what to do about their parents being completely different people from who they thought they were, or how to break this news to their siblings. i imagine finding this information out would bring them closer together, and honestly, just following the general pattern of dan and serena behaviour, i feel like they'd begin dating again, or something along those lines.

ivy & lola spend the money they've gotten to travel, to go somewhere else. they're both actresses, after all. having trust funds means they can relax while they're at it.

nate..... i don't know what he's doing. but he's one step closer to happiness than he was before.

#gg rewrite #anon #im not a fan of the derena arc here but it feels like what they would do #dan and serena use each other as coping mechanisms all the time #for less traumatising/terrible situations. so this really could only go like this #this is actually a really fascinating arc.......... huh #we're really collaboratively making magic on here

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seb-owns-these-tatas · 5 years ago

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Issues (Carter Baizen x You)

Characters: Carter Baizen x Fem! Reader.

Summary: You've seen it on the news. Carter Baizen and a woman who can make your insecurities go wild. Serena Van der Woodsen kissing the love of your life.

Prompt: "I want to help you through this, I really do, just not as your girlfriend.", "Please, just stay a little longer.", "Why won't you admit it?!", "When she told you to leave, you should have stayed." (Forgot where I got this from, but I think its from Tumblr)

Warning: Mention of ya'no but no ya'no? Do ya get me? Heehee! 😂 Sad reader and Carter. ANGST!

Words: 1,600+ (This was supposed to only be a drabble but what happened. Damn it.

A/N: THIS IS MY FIRST ONE SHOT OF CARTER. PLEASE BE GOOD TO ME. I HAVE NO IDEA ABOUT THE PLOT OF GOSSIP GIRL. I'VE JUST WATCHED SCENES WHERE SEB IS IN IT AND I TRIED TO KNOW HIS BACKGROUND BY ASKING MY FRIEND. I'M NO CARTER BAIZEN EXPERT. I APOLOGIZE FOR THE TYPOS AND GRAMMATICAL ERRORS. I'M CURRENTLY SICK WHILE WRITING THIS AND I DECIDED TO UPDATE SO Y'ALL KNOW I'M ALIVE AND KICKING. HEEHEE!

LIKE, COMMENT AND REBLOG PLEASE, TATER TOTS?

Disclaimer: GIF'S and pictures used are not mine. Only the edits are and the oneshot of course. 😉 Credits to the owners of the GIFS and pictures.

Oneshot taglists: @anxiousamandapanda

You've heard the news. It was on the internet and even spread by Gossip Girl itself. People of Manhattan knew you were his girlfriend. The accused gold-digger, garbage collector of some rich woman's trash that you gladly accepted because you were more of a trash than Carter Baizen in the flesh.

You huffed, trying to ignore the way his eyes were pale waves of the ocean that meant that tears were threatening to fall as you finally bursted his happy bubble.

"I want to help you through this, I really do, just not as your girlfriend." You mumbled, clicking your tongue out of habit. You could feel his gloomy, piercing blue eyes staring right through you. Begging for you not to leave his miserable, pathetic, complicated ass.

"No," Carter pleaded, his voice turning smaller like you were slowly killing him. You were. On the inside. "Please don't do this," He repeated over and over again, wanting nothing more than to fall down on his knees and keep his arms around your knees, praying to the heavens that you wouldn't leave him. "Please, just stay a little longer."

Your eyes were stinging for it to leave tears from your eyes. But, you didn't want to cry. No. You didn't want to cry for Carter. Despite of how you gave the only thing that you could give. Your heart. "Do you really love me?" You spat, staring straight into his puffy, reddish Steele blue eyes that looked nothing but hurt. "Or is it still Serena?"

The question made him shake his head furiously, he knew how insecure you were with the famous, rich, gorgeous, meticulous Serena Van der Woodsen.

Well, who were you anyways? You were just a mere human who works as a waitress in a restaurant in which you happen to meet Carter Baizen who was dating Serena back then.

"Y/N--" He started, his eyes pricking tears that were threatening to fall any minute now. "Why won't you admit it?!" You shouted, completely hopeless and wanted nothing more than to erase the fresh memories of Carter kissing Serena in a field full of trees.

"It's you! It's been you all along, Y/N!" Carter answered back with the same intensity. Though his eyes tell different. Carter didn't want to lose you, however he fucked up. He knew he fucked up and because of it he knows what consequences will be charged from his stupidity. "You know I love you,"

"Wow," You faked a laugh. Those laugh of yours was full of pain and betrayal. Carter had never seen you laugh so hostile and he wanted nothing more than to bring back the time and push Serena out of his way. "I've never heard that in months, Baizen."

"--When she told you to leave, you should have stayed." You muttered nonchalantly, voice all monotone and swerving his eyes as you stare at the parked car beside you. Your next words adding salt to the wounds he created. "So, you wouldn't have used somebody else's heart for the sake of your happiness,"

Traitors. Your tears were your best traitors because it fell before you could even know it. Carter tried to reach out for you, he planned to wipe away those tears that he happened to make. Though, all his plans were wasted when you pushed his hands away with fury. Spitting your next words like it was vile. "That is if you were even happy with me!"

Your tears were left to dry from the city's polluted air and Carter can do nothing but stare at how his girl was breaking because of his doing. It was all his fault. Everything was. "--Because you've meant the world to me, Carter." Your voice began to helplessly crack and Carter could only stare back at you with his bloodshot eyes. Everything you were saying was giving him pain because seeing you burst and cry in front of him was the last thing he wanted to see.

Yet, you still did and it was because of his mistakes.

It was like your hands have a mind of its own when it automatically lifted halfway through to wipe the subtle tears that fell on the sides of Carter's eyes. Though, he was quick to harshly wash it away with the back of his hands. Not wanting to let you see how bad you were breaking him but he was too late.

You choked in your own tears, as you stuttered. The undeniably painful truth was hurting you the most. "I-Is it because I'm not those high-socialites you've hanged out with?"

After a blink, another tear came flowing down your face. You were lucky you didn't use any mascara because if you did, you probably looked horrible as hell as of the moment. It was like your tongue felt numb, some kind of bane that poisoned your tongue from saying the next painful, distressing truth. "Or is it because I wasn't as beautiful as Serena or Blaire?"

From the moment you said those words, Carter was quick to grab your face with his soft palms, his Steele blue eyes completely broken in despair. Desperate to wash away those horrible thoughts that was haunting your self-confidence or yourself.

"D-Don't say that!" He pleaded, tenderly wiping your tears away with his thumbs. You gave in and let him hold you like you were fragile. You just missed how he cradled you when you were feeling down. The look in your eyes made him desperately scan your face. You bit your lip, attempting to stop the tears from falling but that just made it fall even more. "I-I know I am not the slightest ideal woman that you've ever wanted, Car." You paused, sniffing. "I have never been," You choked, voice cracking and sounding hoarse from the cries. "And the only useful thing that I could do was to love you unconditionally,"

Carter have desperately grabbed onto you, wrapping his desperate arms around you and constantly giving your forehead a lot of desperate kisses which came with his pleads. "No, no, no," His voice cracked as he sobbed through his beseeching. "I love you, Y/N."

"--I love you very much,"

He hugged you tight. So tight that you were wondering how you were able to breath. You could faintly smell the masculine, spicy scent of his cologne that you loved that was always trapped in your sheets whenever he came over to spend the night. Though, you might need to not get used it anymore.

"No,no,no.." Carter pleaded for the hundredth time, hastily grabbing your face and melting into his gorgeous, watery, Steel blue eyes. "Don't go. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. It was all a misunderstanding! You got it all wrong--"

You blinked, hopelessly staring back into his eyes. Completely disappointed and broken. "I know what I saw, Carter! I'm poor, uneducated but not entirely stupid!" On a weak attempt, you grabbed onto his hands. Unclasping his hands as he dropped it on either side of him defeatedly.

Carter wanted nothing more than to keep you in his arms. His faithless eyes pierced into your pained heart, snapping the melancholy state of Carter Baizen, saving it inside the memories that you've been keeping to remember it forever.

"Good bye, Carter Baizen." You spun on your heels, another set of tears falling from the sides of your eyes like Niagara falls. Your next words seeming quieter as it cracked for the tenth time.

"I hope it hurts to think of me,"

Y/N hoped at the back of her mind. Wanting nothing more than for Carter Baizen to cry in his sleep. As he tries to remember how precious and important she ever was in his complicated life.

"What am I going to do without you?" Carter whispered, his breath hitting your ear. The both of you were cuddled in his king sized bed, his warmth was enveloping you in a hug. Not that he wasn't being the big spoon and you were the little spoon. You shivered as his fingers cascaded from your arms towards your back. The coldness of his rings was comforting you in a way that can make your heart beat pump so hard, knowing that only one touch can make you feel like you were in cloud 9. It was definitely the Baizen effect that only he can give.

You laughed ever so tiredly from your previous toing and froing beneath the sheets. "Probably crash and burn?"

"I bet cha', Baby." Carter chuckled, lifting his head to lightly kiss your naked shoulder.

Crash and burn. Well, the same goes for you if it was the other way around.

HOW ANGSTY DO Y’ALL WANT IT? HEEHEE! FOLLOW MY BLOG! REBLOG AND COMMENT IF Y’ALL LOVED THIS! SEND ME AN ASK OR DM ME IF YOU WANNA BE TAGGED BY ALL OF MY WORKS!

#carter baizen x reader #carter baizen #carter baizen x you #gossip girl #Sebastian Stan #sebastian stan imagines #sebastian stan x you #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan x y/n #carter baizen x y/n #Carter baizen angst #tatasmasterlist #seb-owns-these-tatas #seb owns these tatas #angst #baizen angst

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scige · 4 years ago

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「madelyn cline & cis female」⇾ beaumont, saige, the senior radcliffe student’s records show that she is a cancer and 22 years old. she is studying linguistics + criminal psychology, living in noland and can be blithe, energetic, evasive & irrational. when i see her i am reminded of the familiar riff of an old song, skinned knees with laughter following, and wishes on eyelashes stuck to your cheekbones. ⇽「james & 21 & est & they/them.」

N HERE IS MY LAST CHILD FR NOW ... both happy n sad ... god ... bites fist. alright. let’s go!

TW CHILD ABUSE, DRUG USE, ALCOHOLISM, ADDICTION, DEATH, HIT & RUN CAR ACCIDENTS, GRIEF, GUILT

aesthetics.

stick n’ pokes at 2am – when your drunk and giggling too much in between purposeful stabs, avoiding the cracks in the sidewalk because they’re bad luck and they’ll break your mother’s back – even if your mother doesn’t love you, because you love her, the familiar riff in an old song – one that’s got you strumming along silently; there is no guitar, only empty air lit by the christmas lights you haven’t taken down. it’s may. swallowing down shots, and by default, swallowing down problems. laughing quick, easily, constantly. skinned knees from skateboarding, despite being rubbish at it. wishes on eyelashes stuck to your cheekbones, glitter sticking, running into the ocean at sunrise; feeling at home. excuses, and the many forms they come in. telling people you love them through hand squeezes and fresh muffins, sideways glances and soft, eager grins.

basic info.

full name: saige alouette beaumont

nickname(s): n/a :/ give her some

b.o.d. - july 7th, cancer

label(s): the hedonist, the icarcian, the reveler, etc.

height: 5′7″

hometown: thibodaux, louisiana

sexuality: bisexual w/ a very slight preference towards masc-presenting folks

stats

inspired by: serena van der woodsen (gossip girl), aimee gibbs (sex education), alexis rose (schitt’s creek), elle woods (legally blonde), rapunzel (tangled), clementine (eternal sunshine of a spotless mind), angela montenegro (bones), tinkerbell (peter pan), late 2000 / early 2010s kesha… i don’t know because she’s not actually inspired by anybody i made her when i was like 13 HDSJBKFNGHJLDS

biography.

the fallible daughter of two very infallible people: robert beaumont, US lieutenant general (soon to be US general), and manon lévesque, world renowned fashion designer on levels par with gucci and versace. both cold, calculating, and purposeful.

no matter how much she wants to believe otherwise, saige is sure that she was not created out of love. it was an action with a purpose, intentions to create the perfect child. the hybrid of both military genius and fashion extraordinaire. a proper socialite. a 1% citizen. molded to their will.

born in thibodaux, louisiana (surrounded by her father’s family - a long line of old money southern magnates & moguls with a history of beauty pageant winners in each woman) - it took them no more than six months after her birth for her parents to up and move, thus beginning a cycle of packing and unpacking, flying and driving, state-to-state and country-to-country. the longest saige had ever stayed in one place was two years, until radcliffe. even then - conditioned to never become truly attached to a place, she has the urge to up and run away at any given moment, onto the next adventure.

she was kept on a short leash, home-schooled, and learning skills she had no interest in (from cooking to sewing to ballroom dancing - to fencing and firearm safety and self defense) - more like a pet, a project, than a child. the world moved all around her, but she was bound to what her parents allowed her to see. a bird in a cage of thorns.

it was hard to keep and maintain friends - there one day, gone the next. a ghost you could see, clear as day, but never touch - never fully, at least. even if she tried with all her might.

would run from bodyguards (their version of nannies - robert beaumont is a paranoid man with too many enemies to count) into festival crowds and climb out of windows in the middle of the night to swim in lakes with the locals she’d met only hours earlier - as soon as she realized that there was something wrong with the way she lived.

even if it resulted in punishment, military exercises in the form of her own personal boot camp (she’d been forced to do chin-ups, once, when she ripped an expensive gown at the tender age of seven. not since, however, after she wound up sobbing on the floor - instead they moved on. delicate teacups stacked across her back as she did push-ups, the more she did the more that slipped & broke)

she absorbed as she could, as much as she could get; an intense, undying love for a world she always craved to see.

this was the start of something dangerous - a phase that never seemed to end, rebellion coursing through her veins. a wild child in the making, unknowing of limits. she landed herself in any crowd she could squeeze into - bad crowds, in particular and more often than not - they introduced her, the sheltered girl, into a world she hadn’t quite known existed until then.

ran away briefly at the age of fifteen with a man three years older than her & nearly ended up in a tabloid magazine because of it - if it hadn’t been for her parents’ money. though guilt from her parents’ disappointment weighed on her, the thrill fueled something much worse.

from there on, she’d been labeled as a ‘problem child’ - from public intoxication to vandalism, it was clear their daughter was unraveling and nothing could possibly contain her.

boarding school had been an attempt to stop it, enrolled her freshmen year in hopes that she’d come out a proper woman. but being located in new york with easy access to the upper east side of manhattan - it’d been futile.

there’d only been a few significant events during her time there - the death of a classmate (one of her closest friends’ boyfriends) and a ski trip that nearly resulted in her own death, skiing while drunk on a closed off course, in memory of him and the traditions they’d had. the first time she fell in love, and months of pining - running in circles, fights and hiccups and confessions in the dramatic manner all high school relationships seem to be like. they’d finally gotten together - officially, no more sneaking around or pretending - when her parents paid a surprise visit. a rare occasion, nerve-wracking. dangerous. to keep a story short - she’d accidentally exposed her own drug use in their presence, the simple act of pills falling from a purse - and that’d been it. she was gone the next day, with no word to anybody and hardly a word since.

they told family she needed a change of pace, and rumors in her old school said that she’d been expelled, that she’d been sent to the french countryside to live with her grandmother.

she’d only gone to washington, that was all. france was too good, and she was too undeserving. instead she was enrolled in public school, only a quarter through her junior year. her parents rarely spoke to her - rarely in town, the only eyes kept on her were security cameras and the occasional check-in by family friends (the new word for bodyguards, apparently)

but as always - when left alone, saige scrambled to find somewhere she fit, somewhere to tuck herself away in the comfort of other people. a small group, but a loyal group - harmless minus a few miscellaneous charges that they said every small town kid had, at some point. they were safe, they were family - as close as she could get. at least, she had thought so. had really believed it.

she hadn’t intended to go to university after graduating high school, not yet eighteen - not for another month or two, at least. she wanted to travel, meet new people and learn new languages (she’d learned four, already, but had always been a glutton. craved to know more, as if she unlocked secrets with every phrase she could speak) and just. exist.

maybe she should’ve. should’ve left as quick as possible, and never turn back.

saige mysteriously disappeared from the public eye for an entire year, the entirety of her 18th year on earth, before promptly showing up at radcliffe university, ready to learn.

it’d been a year of legal cases & lawsuits & avoiding prison with expensive lawyers and a lot of money.

the getaway driver for an armed robbery at a bank, an unknowing accomplice until her supposed friend ran out from the building and jumped in her car, screaming for her to drive, drive, drive. it had only supposed to have been a quick stop before a road trip to the coast. nobody was supposed to get hurt. but scared, and high, saige had obeyed - and by doing so, led a police chase and, of course, a hit & run that eventually led to saige crashing the car midst breakdown.

the sole victim survived, thankfully - and the beaumonts have been paying the medical bills since. her friend - the one who started it all - was charged & sentenced. but saige got off relatively scot-free. just a year of community service, a slap on the wrist (and the growing wallets of all involved in handling her case). it would’ve made national news if her parents hadn’t stepped in - favors called, resulting in only local headlines.

they hadn’t spoken to her since then. three years of radio silence. she’d think they were dead if it hadn’t been the steady flow of money in her bank account. their silence only feels like a threat of what’s to come if she fucks up again.

ever since - she’s avoided causing too much trouble, still very much the party girl she’d like to be, but staying out of headlines and tabloids. partially in fear of her parents finally cutting ties, permanently, and partially in fear that she’ll end up costing someone else their life with her own selfishness.

UPDATE: she did not avoid trouble n got disowned after a high speed yacht chase it was. a lot. anyways she’s lying to everyone n pretending she’s still rich while rapidly losing money to lawsuit bills n hospital bills n just <3 a whole lot <3 has had to sell her favorite cars and her favorite bass guitar. sheds the smallest tear. spent the summer couch-hopping bt pretending she wasn’t couch-hopping and being :/ really messy. not a good fun look! sucks ... disappeared fr like a straight week n then popped up like hehe wat’s up :D. sighs sm.

personality.

she is so … bubbly. so fucking bubbly. she’s has so much energy in her. goes running every morning and every night and swims almost every afternoon and she’s never tired, even if she hasn’t slept the last night and even if she’s been dancing for five hours in a club in high heels and nothing but vodka in her system. the personification of a coke bottle shaken up, if the coke bottle in question could laugh and smile at you and make you feel, somehow, at home even though you’d only met her in the bathroom queue.

tries her hardest to be the happy fun friend, the cool friend, the one who can hook you up with whatever you need because she sleeps with her drug dealer and gets discounts, but like, it’s totally okay because they’re also friends.

generally comes off as very confident of herself, and fearless, and reckless but like - fun reckless. the kind of reckless you wouldn’t mind to be around because she takes your worries and acknowledges them and reassures you that it’s fine, that it’s grand, even when it may definitely not be.

takes a lot. so much. could ramble for days, hand gestures and all. never stops talking. never.

if she wants to do something, she’ll do it and there’s not very much you can do to stop her. stubborn, but at the same time easy going? very go go go. mischievous. even if she’s trying to do something stupid you kind of just like … have to let her do it, or otherwise she’ll mope for three hours and pout at you and then you’ll feel questionably guilty, which is admittedly a little manipulative on her end and isn’t the best thing, but i never said she’s the best person ever because she’s most certainly … not.

a vegetarian because meat makes her physically sick, like, she’s got a weird intolerance to it and it’s not quite an allergy because it’s really just red meats but she’ll get a tummy ache.

her vocabulary consists of a lot of ‘likes’ and ‘ums’ and ‘yknows’, y’know? her statements always sound like questions.

99% sure she has adhd but she’s never been diagnosed because her parents simply would not allow her to go to therapy so if she does have any neurological disorders, mental illness, and the likes of those - she doesn’t know and doesn’t know where to even begin to find out. her parents? fucking suck.

like i said, she’s currently not on speaking terms with them. more of their decision than hers. she still loves them, a lot - and there’s a part of her that believes that they still love her, that they have to, because she’s not disowned yet. even though they haven’t said more than ten words to her since she was eighteen - as long as they keep sending her money, they still care - right?

owns four cars … bad idea considering her past, but alas. spending her money is a coping mechanism and she likes to drive because it’s a form of freedom. anyways. all her cars are on campus and she’s probably not allowed to have them all on campus but she does. one’s a sleek sports car, the other is a jacked up pick-up truck that’s decked out in like … LED lights and shit, the third one is the same exact fucking mustang from the princess diaries because she’s obsessed with the movie & usually gets what she wants. the fourth is a mini cooper.

she’s a photographer (for funsies) and the walls of her room in noland are covered in photographs and art and taped-down plants. her room in general is really cluttered. like, it’s super homey. super cozy. but it’s a mess. clothes everywhere, she’s got a pile of instruments and other miscellaneous hobbies that she wanted to do and then either never did, or did for a few days and got bored of and haven’t touched since.

i mentioned earlier that she was taught a bunch of skills when growing up - and like, she doesn’t really utilize any of them? knitting, sewing, cookie, three different forms of ballroom dancing - all gone to waste and she’s pretty rusty on most of it, but it’s there. in her mind. it’s kind of neat and i promise she’s not a mary sue it’s just her upbringing HBSJKDFNLG she’s really nuanced i swear. anyways she can also work a gun and a car engine but hates half of the things she knows how to do because she was forced to learn these things.

she plays bass guitar. loves it, loves her guitar. treasured item. she knows violin & piano too but she fucking hates piano & is mostly indifferent towards violin. she can hold a note in other instruments but it’s like. not great.

got really into languages at a young age due to her constant traveling and started learning them unprompted. her mother is like. literally french. a french citizen. so she grew up learning english & french but from there on she’s gotten fluent in spanish (similar 2 french) and latin (dead languages are fun) and then she’s working on a few others like mandarin and german and scottish gaelic specifically but she mostly just knows a few phrases here and there. like, enough to get her through a city if needed.

like she’s super smart and very talented but she’s also ditzy as hell. big dumbass energy to the point where maybe you don’t realize that she’s actually really good at a lot of things because it’s not like she really flaunts it either?

she’s just very reckless, and very much a party girl. has quite the collection of drugs & uses socially, but also alone and throughout the day. rarely sober.

high functioning alcoholic and at this point she doesn’t really know what she’s like when she’s completely sober? which is really bad but she’s convinced that if she goes sober she’ll just be miserable and horrible because at her very core she believes she’s like. the worst human being alive. like very deep issues of self loathing covered by baileys in her morning coffee and 23 crystal lite packets in her yeti cup that happens to be filled with vodka.

this has been a budding problem that was developed since she was a young teenager. the ehem. situation that happened when she was eighteen only amplified it.

is essentially wearing a mask of confidence and giddiness and flirtatiousness because she doesn’t want people to think she’s not doing well, because she isn’t.

loves so much. loves everything, so much. everything, everybody. falls in love like five times a day but nothing really sticks to her either, for the most part. i hate to say it but she does flock to shitty people / general assholes because that’s just … how she is, that’s what she’s surrounded herself with her entire life. even her high school boyfriend was an asshole - just like, not to her, which made it Okay in her mind. she finds these kind of people like … super interesting which is really questionable but y’know what? we’re fine. it’s fine. i’m fine.

she sleeps around often, to be frank. she hates being alone and she rarely sleeps in her own dorm unless someone is in there sleeping with her. otherwise she’s at different houses. could be a friend’s bed, could be a stranger’s. has slept with the entire baseball team, probably. she’s also the type of person who’ll try and maintain a positive, good friendship with whoever she sleeps with because she hates the idea of having a regrettable encounter and just. refuses.

this is kind of a problem because she blurs the lines between friendship and Something More too often, and with too many people. wants to be loved but it’s never enough. probably ends up hurting people without realizing it because they think they have something super special but she does this with a lot of people and it’s super :/

does stick and pokes a whole bunch. she can’t draw for shit so they’re not great but she thinks they’re fun and she’s been doing it for a while so like, who cares, right? let her give you one :)

gets sent dress prototypes and like. drafts of designs & articles of clothing from her fashion lines that aren’t out yet and won’t be for a while by her very own mother. saige absolutely gives them all away, for the most part. or it sits in her closet, and stays there. her go-to gift for birthday presents, or christmas gifts, or whenever she feels like it. like, feel free to raid her closet?

ok that’s all. love her.

wanted connections.

a best friend… someone who sticks by her side even though she is a certified Mess.

a ride or die… is it the same as a best friend? maybe. but it’s got a fancy name and i want both so :)

close friends… she’s really friendly and the kind of girl to have been really popular in high school but didn’t care for it and talks to everybody like she’s known them her entire life, so. she’d have a good amount of these!

grumpy friend… to balance her happy friend. she’ll fuck them up in a friendship way. with her cheerfulness.

party pals… they don’t talk much outside of parties but they’re practically glued to the hip when they’re at them. hold your hair back kind of close.

frenemies… or fake friends, toxic friends, people who use her for money or like … sex, or whatever? anything? people who barely tolerate her because she gives them stuff sometimes.

bad influences… they just encourage her to do more, be worse, never get better.

good influences… like … YOINK! stop being an idiot! do your homework! idot!

a tutor… because she’s like…smart…but she’s also stupid…super bad at math & science. help her.

hook ups… friends with benefits, a one night stand that is a little? awkward? since then. past & present tenses. :)

exes… she’s noncommittal so they likely wouldn’t have lasted very long but? yolo? she can be a heartbreaker, as marina said, as a treat? whether they dated or were fucking … either works. but i do love angst :)

one-sided hatred… someone who just fucking … despises her. but she doesn’t realize because she’s an idiot and thinks they’re just like. joking around! like they’re best buddies!

annoyance… but she’s the annoyance. she’s the thorn in their side.

ex-best friend… where something happened between them, like, anything, and it ruined their friendship forever. very sad. angst potential, though.

but like. i’ll take anything.

steals your mail… who knows why?

cat escape… he keeps running away and she keeps letting him inside her room even though she’s allergic…

married old couple… the kind of friendship where they always bicker like they’ve been together for fifty years, but it’s purely platonic (or is it? slowburn BAYBEY. DENIAL babyey.)

off and on again… i think that one that’s not good for them because they enable each other & only get like … angry at each other, and it’s like, messy. but it’s super hard to stop. probably reminds her of high school so that’s why she tries so hard to stick around, but alas. it’s not good. it’s toxic. stop it.

the drug dealer… the one she sleeps with… even though she can just pay for it because she’s rich but like. it’s funner this way.

blurred status… like, it’s just really confusing of what they are? are they, aren’t they? the relationship status is just … muddled. she’s a mess and gets involved with too many people without intending to. potential to hurt feelings. :)

please. take her. give me connections.

#ruhqintro #child abuse tw #drug abuse tw #alcoholism tw #addiction tw #death tw #hit and run tw #car accident tw #grief tw

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