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pucked-bunnie · 4 months

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shameless flirt ⎜ a.matthews

pairings: auston matthews x reader prompts: "you can rest your head on me, I don't mind" + "I dont want to be alone." genre: fluff ⎜angst ⎜friends to lovers⎜ warnings: injured players ⎜auston is a little espresso depresso ⎜just auston being in love the whole time ⎜had to make tyler the bad guy, sorry ⎜ synopsis: working as a team trainer came with many ups and downs, when you pull one of toronto's super stars the downs seem to outweigh the ups - but auston is always willing to bring you back up. word count: 4.8k authors note: this was a WIP i had already started but when doing the prompt list request I got two request that I felt tied in nicely, so I put them all together. I also love our gentle giant auston matthews. (disclaimer : none of the hockey events in this are accurate - so dont come for me.)

(unedited)

“You need to stop staring.” You can’t help the way you jump at the words, glaring at the man behind you before turning back towards the rink.

“I’m not staring.” You huff, flicking some hair away from your face. “I’m assessing.” The large man steps forwards leaning against the barricade besides you, his eyes trailing over your face before following your gaze to the player on the ice.

“Assessing for what?” Auston asks, his gaze watching his teammate curiously, before moving back towards you. Your frown was deepening as you watched the Swedish player move through the drills on the ice. “Is he okay?”

Something was wrong.

What were you seeing that he couldn’t?

“That is for me to know and for you to probably never find out.” You sigh as you push off the wall, turning towards the large man. “What’re you doing out here anyway, don’t you have an interview to do?” Auston shrugs as he turns away from the ice to look at you.

“Is he injured?” He questions and this time you shrug in return.

“It’s none of your business, Auston.” You begin holding up a hand before he begins to complain, “It’s a suspicion, nothing more and once it concerns you, you’ll be the first to know.” You finish, smiling as your player makes his way to the boards, unstrapping his helmet as he skates.

“How was that, doc?” William asks, a large grin planted on his face as he nods a quick hello to his teammate.

“Subpar.” You respond, William’s smile dropping slightly. “You seem to be favouring your left leg, I need to do a physical on you at some stage this afternoon if you manage to catch a free moment.” You continue, looking between the two players before letting out a relaxed grin.

“I’m sure it’s nothing, Willy. But we can’t have you out there if you can’t play your best.” William nods slowly, trying to return your smile but you can see the worries running through his head quicker then he can keep up.

He’s hiding something from you and you are determined to find out what it is.

“Meet me in the treatment room after you shower, we'll go over my concerns then.” You say dismissing William back to the locker room before turning to Auston, glancing up at him with a sigh.

“You need to go do your media, Auston” He opens his mouth to say something but you shake your head before you trudge down the tunnel after William.

Working for the Toronto Maple Leafs had been nothing short of a dream for the three years you had been with the team - with one of the senior trainers leaving after last season you had been approached to step in as a full time trainer and senior member of staff - your role changing drastically and sometimes left you in the firing line when an unpopular decision had to be made.

“He’s getting pulled isn’t he?” Auston’s voice sounds from the door of your office. William had left your office over an hour ago his eyes watering as you gave him the bad news. You had spent the hour in silence typing up the email recommendation to the coaching staff.

“I can’t tell you anything, Auston.” You say quietly, “You know how this works.” Auston nods, taking a few steps into the room before closing the door behind him.

“Is it bad?”

“Auston, please.” You respond, rubbing your fingers against your forehead, a long sigh escaping you as you slowly nod your head. “It’s bad enough that he needs to focus on rehab right now.” You say, before adding “everyone’s gonna hate me for this.” This wasn’t your first time pulling one of the core four on the team - last time the boys had been more lenient as you were one of the junior staff members and the decision had your previous supervisor taking most of the heat - this time you were on your own.

“I could never hate you.” He says softly, his chest squeezing as he watches the tiredness smooth over your expression.

“Thanks.” You say with a bitter laugh, closing your laptop as you reach for your bag under the desk.

“They’ll give the team an update tomorrow.”

Auston stands with you, his hand reaching out to pull open the door waving for you to exit first. “I’m serious doc.” He says, “I’ve got your back.”

Twenty four hours later you watch from the doorway as the coaches deliver the news to the team - the coaches waiting till after practice to announce that William would be pulled for the foreseeable future - Auston’s eyes flick to yours every now and then as the coaches refuse to divulge too deeply into the details.

“What do you mean he’s getting pulled?” Mitch asks softly, yanking at the straps of his padding, pulling the equipment off slowly, “He seemed completely fine.” The volume is the locker room raises as the team all share their opinions of agreement.

The coach takes a moment to let the group voice their frustration before speaking. “Our trainers are some of the best in the world.” Sheldon begins, “They have everyone's best interest at heart - she made the call to pull Willy as it was perceived that he was trying to conceal an injury and in the long run would be doing more damage. Willy agreed it was the best thing to do with hopes that with his full focus on recovery it will make him available for the playoffs.” Sheldon's words seem to quiet the group.

Auston hands pause on the laces of his skates as he glances over to you again, seeing your head fall, your hand pushing the loose hairs out of your face, as you whisper something under your breath before lifting your head again. “Anyway, let’s wish William all the best in his recovery and hope to see him back on the ice soon.” Sheldon finishes before dismissing the group, shouting out a quick morning practice time for tomorrow morning before exiting the locker room.

The locker room is quiet after the coach leaves, Auston risking one more glance towards you, his heart jumping in his chest as he sees your eyes already locked on him with a sad smile on your face. Auston glances away quickly engaging in the ongoing conversation besides him to try and ignore you and your gaze on the side of his face.

He still notices when you turn slowly and decides to leave the room.

“Fuck.” Sheldon swears under his breath as the end of game horn rings - the crowd of red roaring in victory as the home team groups together on the ice, patting each other on the heads. The sea of blue fans beginning to exit the stands all sending glares of anger towards your team slowly skating their way to the bench - hoping to make a quick exit.

The game had been an intense one - the team had been so close to pulling through but continued to miss their shots, the fire power significantly decreased since you pulled one of their top scorers. You keep your head down low as you follow the last player down the tunnel, everyone making their way into the locker room - “Doc, we need to talk for a moment.” Your steps freeze as you glance ahead to the maple leafs coach waiting to the side of the locker room - his arms folded against his chest.

“Sure, thing.” You say, plastering a smile on your face as you step away from the group - one of the players pausing by the door of the locker room, his hand making quick work of his helmet as he glances between you and his coach.

“You have something to say, Matthews?” Auston glances at his coach, his mouth opening slightly before closing again, his gaze trailing over to you, your head moving side to side in the smallest movement he barely catches it.

“It’s okay.” He can see you mouth the words, your head motioning for him to enter the room behind him before turning back towards his coach.

“Don’t be too hard on her.” He says quietly into the hallway not waiting for you or Sheldon to respond before trudging into the locker room.

“We both know that your decision to pull Nylander is one that can’t be reversed until you sign off on his physical.” Sheldon begins - the leafs had implemented a new protocol on the return of players from the injury reserve, the doctor who made the decision to pull the player had to be the one to sign them off on returning to avoid players and coaches undermining the doctors decision.

You nod your head slowly - your smile faltering as you catch on to what the coach is hinting at. “You want me to sign him off early?” Your question almost comes out of your mouth as a scoff - your eyebrows raised as your smile officially switches to a frown. “You want me to break protocol for this?” You reiterate, your own arms crossing against your chest as you stare down the coach.

“No, of course not.” Sheldon’s words come out with a nervous laugh - his gaze flicking over the hallways as he takes a step forwards - his voice lowers as he speaks again. “We only have one more game before the playoffs - we need our team back at full potential.”

You nod taking in his words, giving him a second to continue, “You understand, don’t you? You know what this would mean to the team - to be able to begin the playoffs as a force to be reckoned with… we can’t do that without our core four.” You shake your head as you take a step away from the desperate coach.

“No can do, Sheldon.” Your words are firm as you glance to the players beginning to hover at the door of the locker room. “I’m not going to risk him injuring himself permanently for the sake of playing a game.” You know your words are making the coach angry - his rage simmering as a red tint rises up his neck. “I care about our players, and I’d hope you’d share the same sentiment, coach.” The words hiss out of you as you glare at the man, not wasting anymore time in making your way into the medical bay besides the locker room - closing the door tightly behind you.

You miss the way the rest of the team let out whistles of shock as their coach lets out a huff of displeasure.

You miss the way Auston watches you walk away, a slight grin on his face before his coach dismisses him to finish pulling off his gear.

The team was two hours behind schedule - most of the staff already seated on the plane waiting for the players to join them so everyone could make the three hour flight back home. Slowly the players made their way onto the plane - each taking up their normal seats, most of the time the players would sit amongst each other while the staff would find their own seats towards the back of the plane - Sheldon considered it another of his many ways for the team to get closer together.

“Auston, you gonna join us for some black jack?” Mitch’s voice carries through the airplane - his hands already shuffling a deck of cards, two of his team mates looking up at the newest arrival in anticipation.

Auston hesitates looking between the empty seat next to you - and his best friend waiting for him to take the seat across from him. “I think I’m gonna miss out this time.” Auston says slowly walking further down the aisle - Mitch looking at his friend in disbelief. “I’m just super tired.” Auston adds as he shoves his bag in the overhead locker before dropping into the seat beside you - your eyes shooting over to him in confusion - your hand lifting to pull one of your AirPods out of your ear.

“What are you doing?” You sneer under your breath - not missing the way some of his teammates glare over at you. “You need to move - staff and players don’t sit together, Auston.” Your hands shove at him lightly, but Auston makes himself comfortable in the seat beside you, a soft smile on his face as he ignores your pleading, clicking the seat belt at his hips and settling into the seat.

“This is ridiculous.” You huff, giving up on trying to move the large man, pressing play on the iPad screen in front of you, one AirPod still in your ear as the movie continues. “What’re you watching?” Auston asks as the flight attendants move down the plane checking everyone is buckled in and comfortable.

You let out a long yawn as you shoot him a glare, “None of your business.” If your words were meant to stop Auston from interacting with you, they seemed to be doing quite the opposite.

“You’re tired?” He questions as you let out another yawn, slapping a hand over your mouth to cover the movement, “You can rest your head on me.” He says softly, lowering his left shoulder, patting against the hard muscle with a grin, “I don’t mind.” He adds quickly, lowering his shoulder a little bit more.

“Auston, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“It’s probably not.” He agrees, his right hand reaching over to shuffle your iPad into the middle of your seats, before reaching over his body to gently pull your head down onto his shoulder, his left hand, grabbing for yours - your fingers lacing together as he sits your joined hands comfortably in your lap.

“But that’s never really stopped me before.”

Your breath gets caught in your chest as you think of all the ways people must be whispering about your position - not daring to lift your head off Auston’s shoulder to look around at the people around you - not daring to lift your head from the comfortable fabric of Auston’s fleece jumper.

“Rest, doc.” He whispers softly, his hand squeezing yours, as he watches the movie on the screen, pulling the spare AirPod out of its case to shove in his ear.

You’re not sure when you fall asleep but you wake to Auston’s hand squeezing yours, his head laying softly on top of yours, a jacket thrown over your torso, the movie credits playing on the screen of your iPad.

“We’ve arrived.” The flight attendant says quietly, her gaze flicking over you and the man beside you with a knowing grin - leaving as you thank her, detaching your hand from Auston’s, the man letting out a soft groan, his hand reaching out to take yours again.

“We’re here.” You whisper to him, slipping his jacket off of you to place back into his lap, gathering all your stuff before shoving it into your backpack - gently reaching to pull the remaining AirPod out of Auston’s ear, sliding it back into the case. “Auston?” You say softly as you shake his shoulder lightly.

He sits up slowly, stretching his arms above his head as he glances over at you, your bag already slung over your shoulder as you wait for him to move so you can exit the plane.

“Same time tomorrow?” He asks, undoing the belt in his lap, and stepping out into the aisle. You shake your head as you pass him, not able to stop the spreading grin on your face.

Your head falls forwards as the end of game horn sounds for the last time in the regular season - the leafs lost again - the final game of their season they lost and they lost by two. Even though they were still guaranteed a position in the playoffs it never felt good to start the first round on a loss.

Not to mention the news hitting the team yesterday that they would be up against Boston in the first round - the two teams notorious for having very intense games.

No one says anything as the team makes their way back to the locker room - everyone stripping off their gear with heavy heads, most wanting nothing more than to get on the plane and head back home, you included. You can’t ignore the way people glare at you as you enter the room, some players whispering to each other under their breath in frustration.

Some of the team still makes friendly conversation or sends you tight smiles as you help them unwrap their tape - or roll out their tight muscles, but most say nothing. Your final patient never makes his way into your medical bay - the other doctors packing up as you wait for the tall brunette to pop his head into the room, but nothing, not even a glimpse of the large player.

“We’re going to take this stuff out to the crew, are you alright to pack up the rest?” One of your colleagues asks as he passes by you - a few cases in his hands.

“Yeah, I’ll be good to go in just a moment.” You say softly, letting out a quiet sigh as you turn to pack up your equipment, turning as you head a soft knock on the door.

“Do you still have time to help me get this tape off?” His voice is quieter than usual - the player you were waiting for standing by the open door - his skin red from where he had tried to rip the strapping tape off on his own. You nod quickly, taking in his sad eyes - the skin around them redder than usual.

“I tried to get it off myself, but you’re clearly too good at your job.” Auston says a bitter chuckle coming out as he takes a seat on the table in front of you - your hands digging through your bags for the adhesive removal spray.

“Why didn’t you come ask for help sooner?” You ask quietly, as you behind to spray the remover on the remaining tape wincing at the rash spreading across his skin where the tape was already removed. “You could’ve gotten someone else to remove it.” You add quickly the thought that maybe he was trying to avoid you running through your head quickly.

“Why would I do that?” His question confuses you, your eyebrows furrowing but you continue pulling off the tape. “You think I’m avoiding you?”

“Aren’t you?” You ask bitterly, remembering the looks of the others on the team, the ones that clearly blame you for the loss. “Everyone else hates me right now, so it’s not like I blame you.” Auston just watches as you pull your bottom lip between your teeth, your chin wobbling as you try to suck in the overwhelming disappointment that’s been growing in yourself. He watches as you focus all your attention on pulling off the tape, keeping your attention on his sore skin as you rub soothing cream over the rash that he gave to himself.

“I could never hate you.” He says softly as you twist the lid back onto the cream, standing from his spot on your bench, his hands raising to your face, lifting your head to tilt up towards him. “I told you when you first made the decision - I could never hate you, no matter what anyone else thinks - not even what you think, do you understand?” Your chin trembles as his thumb strokes against your cheeks softly, your head nodding in confirmation, his hands staying just under your jaw as he lets out a soft sigh.

“Then why are you sad? Why didn’t you come to me to help?” Your question stalls Auston’s ministrations on your skin, his thumbs stopping in their motions as he stares down at you, his jaw clenching as he tries to find his words.

“I’m just disappointed.”

“Disappointed?”

“In myself.” He confirms before adding, “In the team, we let one person's absence throw us off the ball - we do this every god damn year.” His forehead drops to yours, his hands slipping away from your face, sliding over your shoulder before grazing down your arms, his fingers reaching out to lace with yours. “I thought we were going to do better this year… I thought I would do better.”

The sound of footsteps in the locker room makes the two of you jump, your hands slipping out of his as you quickly throw the rest of your equipment into their cases, turning back to Auston with a soft smile. “You should finish getting change for the flight.” Auston nods, frowning as he glances out into the locker room seeing the other doctors hovering by the door.

“You’ll wait for me?” He asks quickly, your head nodding before you can even register what he asked, his body slipping through the door before you can take back your agreement.

But you do as requested, handing off your cases to the other doctors promising them you’d meet them on the plane, making excuses about Auston wanting to talk about a treatment plan for his shoulder - they both nod understandingly moving quickly to get the last of the equipment to the trucks to take to the airport.

Auston’s surprised to see you still standing outside the locker room when he exits - his back thrown over his shoulder, a large white hooding thrown over your uniform as you turn towards him. The two of you walk to the bus in silence, neither knowing why you had stayed.

Neither of you know why you still stayed as you sit next to each other on the bus.

As you fall into your seats besides each other on the plane.

Auston’s surprised again as you take hold of his hand once the flight takes off - your gaze focused on the window as the plane levels out - your headphones over your ears as you pretend your thumb isn’t rubbing gentle circles on the back of his hand.

“What is going on with you two?” Auston’s head shoots up from the video playing on his phone, Mitch leaning over the back of the chair in front of him, his eyes lingering on the joined hands sitting in your lap. If you head Mitch you pretend not to, your chin in your hand as you keep watching the black sky pass by.

“None of your business.” Auston replies, praying to whoever will listen that you don’t pay attention to Mitch’s interrogations, praying that you don’t take your hand out of his. “Mitch drop it.” Auston sneers as his friend's gaze drops to your joined hands again, Auston squeezing yours as he feels your fingers loosen on his. “Please.” Auston adds, Mitch’s eyebrows raising in surprise as he throws his hands up in surrender.

The rest of the flight passes in silence, most of his teammates busy with their own unwinding processes, a lot of the staff sleeping for as much of the flight as possible.

Neither of you two sleep.

Neither of you acknowledge the other until the plane stops on the runway - the players and staff quickly making their way off the plane, stretching their limbs as they go.

“Do you have a ride home?” Auston asks, his chest tightening as you finally pull your hands out of his, the warmth of your skin lingering in his palm. You shake your head softly, pulling out your phone and flashing the Uber app on your screen. “Come home with me.” Auston says wincing as the words hit him as soon as he says them.

“Not like that - I mean I wouldn’t be against it but… I just…”

“What do you mean then, Auston?” You interrupt, your face soft as you wait for him to respond, giving him the time to collect himself.

“I don’t want to be alone.” He admits quietly, “I’d really like to spend some more time with you.” You don’t say anything, glancing down at the open app on your phone before glancing back up at him - handing your unlocked phone over, the arrival address waiting.

“No way in hell you’re paying for the ride.” He hisses, pushing your phone back towards you as he pulls his own phone out of his pocket, reaching overhead to pull his backpack out of the locker, his hand reaching out for yours as he drags your off the plane behind him - the two of you bypassing the rest of the staff, Auston sneaking to grab your two suitcases before rushing you off the runway and into the airport an Uber waiting out the front.

Auston sits comfortably in the silence, his hand warm between the two of you - his heart beating so fast he’s glad you know how to do CPR cause he might need it if you do anything else.

Auston thanks the driver as he pulls up outside his building - pulling the bags from the trunk - your small duffle stacked on top of his suitcase - the bags dragged behind him as he also drags you behind him and into the empty lobby.

“This place is really fancy.” You say as he scans his house fob - the elevator automatically selecting the floor for his condo. Auston doesn’t say anything, pretty sure he’d throw up if he attempted to get words out.

“Are you okay?” You question as the elevator dings - the doors opening to the front door of his condo - the only condo on this floor.

“Mhm.” He answers, swallowing his nerves as he shoves his key into the lock, opening the door as quickly as possible pulling you quickly into his empty apartment.

“No Felix?” You question as you glance around, an empty crate sitting in the living room with no sign of the dog.

“He’s at Mitch’s - Felix loves visiting Zeus when we go on roadies.” Auston finally speaks, his hand dropping yours for just a moment to set up your bags by the front door, pulling his large puffer off his shoulders and throwing it over a coat rack by the front door.

“Make yourself at home.” Auston says as he strides into the kitchen grabbing two bottles of water from the fridge, his gaze shooting over to your body relaxing into the cushions of his oversized couch.

“Where the hell did you get this thing?” You question as he hands you your bottle of water, slumping into the seat beside you, a grin on his face as he watches you settle in further.

“I don’t know if my sister bought it.” He says quickly, your eyes squeezed shut as he reaches for a blanket draped over the back of the couch, throwing it over your lap.

“Well I need the link.” You comment on bliss twisting the lid off the water as you take a sip.

“It was almost ten thousand though.” Auston’s hand moves to pat your back as the water gets stuck in your throat - coughs racking your body as you pat your chest.

“Never-mind then.”

“You can use mine whenever you want.” Auston says and you scoff, falling back against the couch as you drop the evil water besides you on the couch. “I’m not kidding.” He adds.

Auston doesn’t know what makes him change his position.

He’s not sure why he lies down on the couch, his head gently landing in your lap.

He’s not sure what to do when he feels your fingers thread in his hair, running softly through his messy locks - the water from his shower still making the ends of his hair wet and tangled.

Auston’s not sure when you both fall asleep - his phone making him squint as he checks the time - the four am flashing as he throws the device to the other side of the couch.

He drags himself off the couch slowly, careful not to wake you as he slides his arms under your body, lifting you gently with a soft grunt as he scuttles down the hallway - his room only lit by the lights of the other high building through his window, his body freezing as you let out a soft whine as he drops you onto his mattress dragging his duvet down the bed to throw over your body.

He doesn’t know what makes him round the bed, sliding onto the mattress behind you, pulling the blanket over his body as well, his mind running so fast as you turn on the mattress, your hands reaching out to tangle in the fabric of his shirt, your body shuffling in the cold sheets to move closer to him.

“Don’t make things awkward, Auston.” You huff, as one of your hands releases his shirt, grabbing his frozen arm to drape over your waist, a happy hum leaving you as he pulls you tighter against him, his chin resting against the top of your head. “We’re going to have to talk about this in the morning.” You say.

“I know.” He responds.

Neither of you know when you fall back asleep.

But neither of you complain as you wake up bundled together in the large king bed.

#auston matthews #auston matthews x reader #auston matthews fanfic #auston matthews imagine #nhl imagine #nhl x reader #nhl #nhl fic #prompt request #prompt list

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starsareshinning · 3 months

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High School AU: What year everyone is in and some Info

SENIORS

Annalise Lusen Mia: She’s a student nurse that had an opportunity to learn from the nurse working at Proxy High. She took it now she goes to the nurses office whenever she can to learn and help out.

Liu Woods: Moving from Ottawa to Toronto he’s brand new to the district and city. Liu looks like your average loser, but he’s much more. A lot more social.

Helen Otis: Helen was actually sent to jail for attempted murder. He lied and manipulated his way through, pretending he was getting better. He is now back in Proxy High. He has a weird obsession with blood.

Candy Pop: Funky little jester who looks as if he’s ready to catch Pokémon! He was born in New York but now lives in Toronto Canada with a weird man (human Night Terrors) who he avoids by filling up his free time with after school activities.

Nathan Maxwell Lux: Goth guy who’s a hater and can be a bitch. He’s also Candy Pop’s best friend and neighbor, which can suck because Candy Pop is annoying as hell. But they get along. Somehow.

Dina Angela Clark: Dina is known for being a sweetheart, her whole reputation was built upon her sweetness. She helps out whenever and whoever she can. Everyone calls her an Angel. However, just because she is an angel, doesn’t mean she’ll let people walk over her.

Kagekao: School’s one and only plug. I’m not kidding when I say that. Kagekao provides people with drugs and alcohol, though he only provides it to trusted and known people. Ones who won’t snitch. He’s also one of the rich students that attends Proxy High.

Jason Meyers: Honor student. His parents expect highly of him, and so his own exceptions of himself are high. Though his wish is to be a toymaker, he knows his parents would kill him if he ever said that out loud. Jason gets bullied because he is: British, a born red head, self-centered, and worst of all…he wears a top hat.

Ciara H. Callaghan: In a loving and healthy relationship with Nathan. She’s a confident student, doesn’t let anyone mess with her or someone she care deeply about. Lives with Candy Pop and (human) Night Terrors.

JUNIORS

Alice Marie Jackson (Zero): Alice prefers to go by Zero. Her adopted father is abusive to her so she usually spends her nights at Kagekao’s rich ass mansion. It’s gotten to the point where she can be called a roommate.

Jack Nyras: Most people dislike him because of his personality. Which is sarcastic while also being a smart ass. Group projects with him? You won’t be doing anything. He does all the work. He chooses to do all the work just because he doesn’t trust anyone else. Despite this, he can be caring for some people. He lives with his three siblings and older cousin.

Jonathan Blake (The Puppeteer): He’s sort of a sad little man these days. Found out his girlfriend cheated on him, but he has his best friend Helen Otis. Jon likes instruments and arts! He works as a delivery person. Delivers pizza at night and newspaper in the morning.

Laughing Jack: Schools personal clown. People either hate him or love him, he pulls pranks on anyone, anything, and everyone. No one is safe from him. Not even the teachers! He’s gotten in trouble because of his pranks. Oh and. He’s most likely never going to graduate. So. Have Fun LJ. His childhood best friend who was Issac Grossman turned out to be a serial killer, so that fucked him up a bit. But, he distracts himself with jokes and avoids people who want to question him about it.

Laughing Jill: She is Laughing Jacks twin sister. She’s the better twin. She does pull pranks, however her pranks only targets assholes like school bullies! Sometimes she gets pulled into LJ’s shenanigans. She does ballet after school!

Jane Richardson: She’s in a relationship with Mary. She’s also an honor student! Jane doesn’t mess around with her grades, she does everything on time and completed. She wants to make her parents proud (they already are).

Natalie Oullette: Natalie is known for getting into fights. She’s a sucker breaker through and through. She skips most of her classes and leaves the school when it gets to lunchtime. Her family is a mess which she avoids ever interacting with.

Sophomores

William Grossman: Will loves crime podcasts, especially the ones that talk about his cousin: Issac Grossman. He works at a hotdog stand at the malls food court, needing money because he’s poor. He gets bullied because he’s poor. It’s not fun.

Jeffery Alan Woods: Liu’s younger brother who helps Liu sneak out of the house occasionally. Jeff is a closeted homosexual who wants to become emo, but unfortunately cannot because of how strict and religious his parents are. He hates going to a new school because he has to make new friends, and that’s a bit difficult to do when you keep moving.

Frankie: He has an alcoholic deadbeat father who uses the money he earns to get more alcohol. And his mother is a junkie that won’t quit doing drugs. So to provide for him and his little sister, he sometimes steals his parents booze and drugs to sell them on the streets. Frankie sometimes works at the mall as well. Part time worker.

Cody Richards: Cody is a science and biology nerd. His adopted father is a famous scientist so he wants to follow his legacy. However he’s also a straight forward guy who will insult anyone who annoys him, even when they’re right in front of him.

Tobias Erin Rogers: Toby’s parents are going through a divorce, which meant he could no longer stayed homeschooled. It was a hard decision, but his mom had to let him go into public school. Toby’s excited to start his first year at Proxy High! (Oh he’s so cooked.)

Freshmen

Nina Hopkins: Nina runs the biggest gossip blog, she’s been running it since elementary. She knows everyone and everyone knows her. Because her parents are busy she lives with her grandma and her little brother, Chris.

Kate Milens: Kate is sort of a social student! She talks to anyone that she thinks is interesting enough. When she’s not talking she listening to music and sketching on her sketch book. She likes hearing Nina yap about her blog.

Vaughn Pavel Volikov: Or more known as Vine is a very sad and traumatized student. His foster parents sent him into public school. He hates interacting with older men that isn’t Papa Grande (who he finds comfort in). Once he’s at the age of eighteen he inherits his father’s fortune.

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winterchimez · 11 months

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Nonsense | Jacob Bae

SUMMARY: never would you have thought that joining the music club is where you would develop an abnormal crush on your senior/club president Jacob Bae. so when the university's annual school performance is around the corner, you have decided to give a shot to confess your feelings in the most extravagant way possible.

PAIRING: senior!Jacob x junior g.n!reader

GENRE: fluff

WARNINGS: pg-13, kissing, yall this is just pure tooth-rotting fluff

WORD COUNT: 4,473

A/N: we're back with another fic for the emails i can't send fwd: collab that i'm doing with @heemingyu 😉 shoutout to both sana & @sungbeam for beta reading & helping me out with this one!! love you both loads 💕 also, lowkey this was written for you @zzoguri aka cobster's future, i hope you'll enjoy this (and may this somehow be a little something for you during your hectic times ily my moni forever!! ❤️)

It was finally the summer holidays, and you were ecstatic as you heard the sound of a vehicle driving right onto your front porch. You had been waiting for this moment since you got the news during the new year and counting down the days on your calendar without fail every day.

Once you heard the engine stop, you immediately ran out to the door to jump right into the person’s arms which were already opened wide, fully expecting your demeanour.

“Yujin! I’ve been waiting months for you!” You shrieked as you hugged your cousin tight, rubbing your cheek against hers.

Both you and Yujin were raised together by your grandmother back in Vancouver, and things took a turn when your parents eventually got a promotion up in Toronto, causing you to move far away from your family. Because of that, you don’t get to see each other often anymore, the most being once every 2 years when your parents will try their best to make time to attend the Christmas parties held annually at your grandmother’s house.

Yujin was like your long-lost sibling; even though you were cousins, you both felt there was more to that. Ever since you both have gotten your very own mobile phones, you both promised that you would FaceTime each other almost every other day. You knew everything about one another—from each other’s darkest secrets to how much money you stole from your parents' wallets when you were younger to buy that vinyl you have been eyeing for the longest time.

But lately, things have been a bit too chaotic for you both to keep up the promised ritual. Since you both started university, it was hard to make plans, especially when studying in different courses, which also meant different timetables and classes. During the weekends, the both of you would often be occupied with either school events or at your local pizzeria as your part-time job. Hence, texting was the primary source of communication between you two.

And besides that, something crucial had happened to you lately, and you couldn’t wait to spill the beans to your cousin.

Once you had helped Yujin unload her stuff from the car and moved it up to your room, you quickly made yourselves feel comfortable by cuddling together on your sofa bed.

“So, tell me. How has life been for you?” you asked, blinking your eyes, trying to give her a pleading face because you wanted to know about everything that had happened lately.

“I’ve been promoted to being part of the student council at my university! Oh, and then there’s also me actually acing an exam that I clearly did not study for because I was up all night that past few weeks playing Genshin Impact. Oh, and then there was this adorable guy from my campus who I think kind of has a crush on me because he always glances in my direction, like you know? That stare? And then—”

“Woah woah, slow down, tiger,” you had to pause your cousin because clearly, she was dumping all of the information without giving you time to process them individually. With that, the both of you chuckled, hands placed onto your stomach as you began to laugh a little bit too hard until it started to hurt.

This was what you had missed so dearly, and you couldn’t help but put on this genuine warm, soft smile on your face as you looked into Yujin’s eyes.

That was until she squinted at you.

“Whatever you’re doing right now is creeping me out real bad, so I suggest you stop that.”

You slapped her arm. “Rude.”

“Fine. What about you then? I’m sure your time at the University of Toronto has been a wild ride for you.”

“About that…I have something I need to consult you for,” you lowered your head and voice to a minimum, which got your cousin's ears perked up and was prodding your arms, wanting to know the details.

“Oh my god, did you just finally have your first kiss?”

“W-what? No! I mean, at least not yet….”

“What do you mean not yet? So do you have a special someone in your life right now?”

With a deep sigh, you took one of the pillows lying on the floor and threw it in Yujin’s direction, causing her to hug the pillow tight as she laid her head down gently to rest on it.

“Buckle up, babe. It’s going to be a long story.”

Flashback

“God, why do I have to sign up for this?”

You stomped your feet to the ground as you looked at the paper, which read: “Applications for extra-curricular activities such as clubs are mandatory for all students, commencing on April 2023.”

Your university had been pretty lenient over the years, and they had never once forced students to participate in clubs if they chose not to, understanding that some of them had make-up classes for their courses or were just busy with their thesis and side jobs. Most of the students in the university themselves took on part-time jobs, such as working in the school’s cafeteria and library, to earn a little bit of pocket money to survive.

So, when they decided to change the rules after the previous headmaster resigned and was replaced by a new one that everyone did not like, she chose that both coursework and extracurricular activities played a crucial role in one’s graduation.

Left with no choice, you stood before the bulletin board, trying to find a club that suited your taste.

“Screw Mrs. Kim.” You huffed.

“Look, Y/N. It can’t be too bad. It’s just a club. After all, nobody said you have to be super committed to it,” Your friend Keeho sighed, looking at how you beat yourself up over such trivial matters.

“You don’t understand, Keeho. This means I will have less time at home because I will have to leave to work my shifts at the pizzeria right after clubs. What is going to happen to my games and k-dramas?” You whined.

“If you want to graduate from university, you’re going to have to choose one now.” Knocking some sense into you, he gave you a pat on your shoulder before walking away towards the opposite direction, heading to his club.

You turned to look back at the bulletin board once again, scanning through all of the posters and flyers that were scattered throughout. After a minute or two, your eyes finally landed on this one cream-coloured flyer, and you sighed before checking the location once more before heading to your destination.

“This is the only option that will work for now.”

“Hello?” You called out, but the room was empty as you opened and peeked your head through the door. Thinking that you should try again, you entered the room and looked around.

There was nothing here but a ray of sunshine shining through the glass window into the empty room, and the sunlight landed directly on the lone black piano at the corners of the room.

Maybe playing it for a while wouldn’t hurt at all.

You slowly approached the piano and opened it up as you made yourself comfortable, sat down, and got into the rightful position, gently laying your hands on the keys. Immediately, you started playing one of your favourite pieces of all time, Summer by Joe Hisaishi. Unbeknownst to you, your body began swaying along with the music, enjoying the moment you were in.

That was until a clap made you stop your tracks.

“Wow, that was some excellent playing right there.” The male gave you a round of applause as he slowly approached you, causing you to jump right up, looking all flustered.

“I-Umm—I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to play the instrument without approval—”

“Oh no, no! The piano is free for anyone who wants to play, so you’re all good,” he reassured you, causing you to calm your fast breathing down by placing a hand on your fast-rising chest.

As he finally reached where you were standing, he posed a question directly at you. “Is there anything that I could help you with?”

It was there, and then you took in his facial features as the sunlight shone from his face. His soft fluffy brunette hair, those doe-like eyes, and how mesmerising it was as he smiled. Adding onto the fact that he keeps smiling in the best way possible, your heart starts to flutter.

“Umm, hello?” He was now waving his hands over your face.

Oh, right. You were supposed to sign up for a club. What on earth were you thinking, Y/N?

“Y-yes! I’m here actually to umm…sign up for the club,” you said reluctantly, a little bit too shy with your answer.

That was when the male’s eyes widened, and he did a little jump to indicate how happy he was to hear that from you, and he quickly extended out his hands to you, giving you a handshake.

“But of course! We are always open to new members joining the music club! Oh, pardon me, where were my manners? You can call me Jacob.”

“Y-Y/N.” You replied.

It has been around two weeks since you joined the music club, and everything has been going smoothly for you. Thanks to Jacob (who turned out to be the club’s president), he has helped you so much in trying to get you to blend into the crowd and with other musicians, creating a very safe and warm atmosphere for everyone.

It was also then that you noticed what kind of a person he was. He was very gentle, yet suitable to be a leader. The tone of his voice and the way he handled things fairly and reasonably made everyone respect him and want to perform alongside him.

From what you have heard from the club members, Jacob would lead the team to busk at the city centre once every two to three weeks, which was where they would earn some money that served as their reward as they went out to celebrate once in a while at the local party scenes such as the bars.

Thanks to his guidance, the university’s music club eventually garnered enough audience from the school and the public to the point that they have been invited to perform multiple times throughout the year. You have heard that even local communities such as the orphanage and childcare facilities would often ask Jacob and his team to function for the underprivileged ones, and they would gladly volunteer, even if it were for free.

There were a few times when you stayed behind to help Jacob close up the music room (more like you were trying your best to spend much time with him as much as you could), and it was when you decided to ask him about his thoughts and the way he did things around here.

“Music just means so much to me, and I would gladly perform every day even if I had to. It’s not about the money; it can be great as a little side income, but what matters most is that I do this because I am passionate about it,” he replied, clearly stating his goals and reasons well.

Ever since that conversation, you notice more in detail how he did things or even when he performed. Just as he said, he was passionate—it didn’t matter if things were hindering his way, he would still make way for it.

No matter how burnt out he could be from his coursework or side job, he would always place the music club first, making sure that not only he enjoyed the whole process but also the club members as well.

Slowly, you began to admire him for not just his good looks but also his personality. It was as if he was this fine perfect gentleman that had just entered your life easily, and you couldn’t stop thinking about him each day.

It was the way he was always smiling with others, the way he would sometimes sit at the piano and play a duet with you, the way you both were guitarists, so one of you would either offer a fun little duet session after club hours, even up till writing song lyrics together.

And how there was one time he unintentionally got his arms around your waist when you slipped from the wet, freshly-cleaned wooden floor from the club, and he caught you in time.

That was something that you have thought about all the time ever since it happened.

As the weeks progressed to months, the little spark in your heart for him eventually grew, and it just kept getting bigger each time you saw him in the same club room.

And that was when you knew you were in big trouble.

End of flashback

“Damn, you're whipped,” Yujin concluded after listening to your story.

“I know. That’s why I’m telling you this, Yujin. I’m so screwed.” You buried your head in your palms, the slight headache becoming more prominent now.

“Hey, what’s wrong with liking a senior? I’d say it’s your time to shine and confess to him.” She reassured you by gently rubbing your back before you slowly lifted your face up.

“That’s because I think I might be in too deep,” you mumbled.

“And how exactly did you come up with that conclusion?”

“Do you ever start stammering and slur your speech when they get close to you like they’ve not done anything, but somehow you just can’t converse like a proper human being.”

“Oh.”

“When they literally tell you how they absolutely love your eyes and loved making them roll?”

“Okay. Go on.”

“And that you actually finally got their contact number and literally named them ‘do not leave me alone’?”

“Hold up, let me see.”

Reluctantly, you fished out for your phone in your back pocket and scrolled through your contact list until you found Jacob’s. As you click into it, you nervously hand your phone to your cousin, praying internally that she will not drop another diss to make you feel worse than you already are.

Do not leave me alone ❤️‍🩹. That was exactly what was written for the club president’s contact name on your phone.

“Damn, Y/N. I never would have thought you would be so delusional. I’d like to think that you’re far worse than I am,” Yujin declared, turning your face into a bright red tomato again.

“I know, Yujin! And I have never felt this way before. That’s why I needed your validation.” You were practically doing somersaults mentally right now, wishing that you could take it all back, but at the same time, you needed to let out your inner feelings too.

As Yujin handed your phone back to you, she raised an eyebrow before posing you a question. “So, what exactly do you intend to do from here on?”

“There’s this upcoming music festival at my university this weekend, and I will be performing on stage.”

“Oh, that’s great—”

“And I’m going to perform a song I wrote specifically about him,” you blurted out.

That made Yujin shut her mouth as she tried to process what she had just heard. “Wow, Y/N. You are literally going all out on this.”

“I just need a way to get this off my shoulders somehow, Yujin. And it’s now or never,” you said.

“Will he realise that you are trying to serenade him, though?” Yujin asked as she placed her hand on your shoulder.

“Success or not, I will still do it. And then I’ll completely forget that I’ve ever written this song ever again.”

It was finally Friday night, and the auditorium hall was filled with students, lecturers, and outsiders. Peeking from the backstage, there was this nervousness in the pit of your stomach, and you were now trying your best to rethink your actions.

What exactly had made you even decide to sign up for the concert in the first place had remained a mystery for you, and looking back now, you swore you would’ve thrown a cold bucket of water over you to wake you up from your insanity.

But it was too late to turn back now, as it would be your turn on stage in a few minutes. After the previous performer finished his chosen song, the MC briefly introduced you and your contributions to the music club before finally inviting you onstage.

As you entered with the white guitar you had gotten for Christmas a few years prior, you tried your best to search for Yujin amongst the crowd—sure enough, she was sitting right at the side, waving her hands enthusiastically to cheer you on. You couldn’t help but flash a smile back.

And finally, you decided to find the man of your dreams, and he was sitting right in the middle section along with the other club members. He gave you a clap just like the rest of the audience did and mouthed out a few words that you couldn’t grasp. Perhaps he was just saying “all the best,” as one would as they support their fellow members.

When you finally reached where the microphone stood, you adjusted yourself before positioning your fingers along the instrument's strings and introducing the piece you were about to perform.

“This song was written by a special someone in the crowd tonight, and whoever that it may be, I hope this song speaks to your heart and that you mean a lot to me. Without further ado, enjoy.”

With a few strums from the guitar, you gathered enough courage to smile before singing into the microphone.

I’ll be honest. Looking at you got me thinking nonsense. Cartwheels in my stomach when you walk in And when you got your arms around me Oh, it feels so good

Instantly, you noticed several people from the crowd starting vibing along with your song as they naturally swayed their bodies from left to right, enjoying the melody and rhythm your song produced.

I had to jump the octave I think I got an ex, but I forgot him And I can’t find my chill, I must’ve lost it I don’t even know, I’m talkin’ nonsense I’m talkin’, I’m talkin’

When you peeked from the corner of your eye, you noticed how Yujiin practically stood up, clapping her hands along with the rhythm. Naturally, the people around her joined in, as did the crowd from the middle and far left section.

God, were you so grateful for that, so much so that you were trying to hold back your tears.

I’m talkin’ all around the clock I’m talkin’ hope nobody knocks I’m talkin’ opposite of soft I’m talkin’ wild, wild thoughts You gotta keep up with me I got some young energy I caught the L-O-V-E How could you do this to me?

I’ll be honest. Looking at you got me thinking nonsense.

With one final strum, you ended the performance with a bang, and you got the crowd to give you one of the loudest cheers you have heard throughout the night. Some have even given you a standing ovation, and you swore that tears were about to form in your eyes.

You quickly redirected your attention to Jacob, and he did the same, standing up while giving you that sweet honey smile that you’ve grown to be obsessed with, clapping along with the rest of the audience.

Thank you for existing, Jacob Bae. I hope you can hear my thoughts through this song written specifically for you.

With a final bow, you quickly exited the stage.

You were sitting on a bench at a park near campus, opening the bottle of sparkling water you had gotten from one of the nearby vending machines.

You met up with Yujin right after the show and told her how you wanted some time alone just to wind down and digest everything that had happened. You reassured her that you wouldn’t be gone too long and would return as soon as possible. Thankfully, your cousin understood the message and agreed so long as you did not venture far away nor leave her alone too long exploring your campus.

With a sip of the water, you couldn’t help but smile as you looked up into the skies filled with stars on a clear night like today. The secret was finally out, and a burden was lifted from your shoulders, so you could just sit back on the bench and relax a little bit.

That was until a voice brought you back to reality.

“Mind if I join you?”

You jolted up from the bench to see the man you were trying to serenade, and immediately you felt the heat rise towards your cheek, and you began stammering again.

“Y-yes, o-of course!! Umm..g-go ahead!!”

As he sat next to you, you naturally shifted slightly away from him and ducked your head down as you began to rub your palms around the water bottle you were holding back and forth. Jacob noticed your demeanour, and he couldn’t help but giggle as he saw the redness of your face becoming more prominent.

Because he had always known how you have been having a crush on him.

To break the ice, he devised a simple conversation to help you loosen up a bit and break off the tension.

“I really like your guitar, Y/N. It’s just the right shade of white, and seeing it reminds me of elegance and simplicity but in an attractive way.”

“U-uh, thanks! It was gifted to me as a present—”

“Just like you, Y/N.”

Wait, what?

Did you just hear that right? Or is your mind playing tricks with you? Maybe the after-effects of adrenaline from the performance got you thinking nonsense. But you had to make sure.

“I umm…I beg your pardon?”

“I said what I said, Y/N. I know you have a crush on me.”

Oh no.

“How I make you feel all giddy and excited every time I talk to you.”

Oh, hell no.

“And I’m going to guess that the song you just performed was directed towards me.”

Lord Jesus, take the wheel.

At this point, you felt as if you were receiving dozens of arrows shooting right into your heart one at a time, and you were just about to pass out. What you thought was a simple crush became way too apparent to the point that your love interest has already known since day one.

This is the most embarrassing shit ever.

You quickly recollected yourself by sitting up straight and clearing your throat before responding properly.

“Ha-ha, I guess I-I was too obvious!! I-I’m sorry if I might’ve made you un-uncomfortable in any way—”

That was when Jacob interrupted you. “What makes you think I was uncomfortable by all of this?”

Jacon now inches a few spots closer to where you were, and your butt was glued shut on the bench because if you were to move any further, you would end up falling straight onto the grass.

Oh, good lord.

“I’m actually grateful for you, Y/N. I think it’s the first time anyone has ever felt that way about me,” he smiled.

That was when you blinked your eyes. “W-what, really? How can people not fall in love with you—” You clasped your hands over your mouth as soon as you said the “L” word.

He chuckled. “I don’t know. People have always seemed to view me as a good friend but not a potential love interest. I haven’t had one since a long time ago, and that made me rethink if I could ever date again.”

Gently he laid his hands onto yours that were situated on the bench as he turned his full attention to you now.

“And funny enough, I’m pretty sure I have feelings for you too. The moment I saw you playing Summer on the piano that first day we met, I knew there was something different about you. And I am so glad that eventually we got close to one another.”

After that, Jacob finally took in a deep breath before turning his direction back to you, which made you gulped for a second. “I think it wouldn’t be fair for me to not give you a proper response to your confession to me, no?”

Oh, god. It’s here. “S-so…what are your thoughts, Jacob? Was the song okay?”

“Y/N. It was far beyond just okay. It was a masterpiece, and I loved how quirky you are with the lyrics. It was something else, but it suited my taste.”

As he finally intertwined his fingers with yours, he inched his face closer to yours until they were centimetres apart.

“I accept the proposal, Y/N.” He smiled.

“Y-you…you do?” You asked weakly as if you were already not melting enough from the tension and heat.

“Will you give me a chance, Y/N?” There was this glistening in his eyes, and he looked exactly like Puss in Boots from the animation that both you and Yujin loved watching when you were kids.

“If you’re ready to deal with me, of course,” you stammered.

He gave you the biggest smile before pulling you into a warm embrace. “More than ready, Y/N.”

As you sunk into his embrace and took in his scent, you rested your chin upon his shoulders and stayed just like that briefly before Jacob broke off the hug and gently grabbed both of your shoulders, his eyes now landing on your lips.

“May I?”

Without giving a proper answer, you immediately shut your eyes, indicating that it was a yes in your books. Jacob chuckled at that for a while before leaning in to give a peck on your lips.

The sweet moment was then ruined by a ruffling noise coming from behind as both you and Jacob turned towards its direction. Sure enough, you found your cousin Yujin emerging from one of the trees with her phone in hand, recording the whole session.

“Now, that is what I call a successful indirect confession!” She exclaimed.

“Miss Ahn Yujin don’t you even dare—” you quickly threatened her before you took off running towards where she was, and she did the same but ran away from you instead.

“You will be sleeping on the streets tonight!” You yelled.

“Try me, Y/N!” She replied.

Jacob watched as the two of you began chasing each other around the park, and he couldn’t help but giggle as he laid back and propped one arm on the bench, just admiring everything about you.

“Little did you know Y/N, that you also got me thinking nonsense about you all day every day.”

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hazybisou · 10 months

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❛ BACKGROUND ON REMI ❜

🫐close my eyes, fantasize, three clicks & i’m home

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✮ remi was born on december 12, 2003

✮ she was born in toronto and lived there up until she was 5

✮ she moved to the united states to live in michigan

✮ remi would always think back to luke ever since the move and ask herself where he was and how he was doing

✮ little by little she began to forget until it completely stopped coming to mind

✮ she attended private schools her whole life as her parents believed it would help her further her education (it did)

✮ remi has always been focused on her studies (especially during high school) in order to get into the University of Michigan

✮ she did cheer her junior and senior year of high school

✮ once she got to umich, she decided to try out for the cheer team and got in

✮ her favorite music artist(s) are frank ocean and the smiths

�� she has 2 tattoos

✮ a small tattoo of a pair of ballet shoes that’s rests behind her ear

✮ the other tattoo is between her hips, just above her ass. the tattoo is the name if her favorite song by frank ocean, godspeed

✮ remi was a little drunk when getting her second tattoo

✮ she’s majoring in health & medicine and hopes to go to medical school after graduation

✮ she rarely ever parties or goes out to bars

✮ she has a strong relationship with her family as they are her rock and support her through whatever

✮ she has two siblings

✮ she has a brother who’s older by 2 years and whose name is nathan

✮ she has a younger brother whose name is enzo and is 13

✮ although she’s the middle child, her parents favor her more over her brothers (they still love nathan and enzo though)

✮ she’s watched the notebook over 43 times and has cried every single time

✮ remi likes to say she has an average amount of friends (around 4-7 according to her) but in reality she has more

✮ shes in alpha phi at the University of Michigan

✮ she only signed up for recruitment for her friend, vicky

✮ when bid day rolled around, the pair had sat next to each other to open their bids

✮ they both saw the name ‘alpha phi’ and just like every other girl around them, they began to shriek in excitement before hugging each other

✮ she moved into the sorority house soon after and shared a room with vicky and another friend of hers, daniella

✮ remi only ever attended football games (she obviously has to, she’s a cheerleader) and never any other sports games

✮ she loves the winter and snow

✮ she’s shy at first but as you warm up to her, she gets more and more social

✮ she is currently a sophomore at the University of Michigan

idk if i got any of that sorority stuff right as i haven’t gone through recruitment myself but we’ll just roll with it. anyways here’s a little bit of background info on remi

#isa’s works 🦭#isa’s au’s #luke hughes x reader #kindergarten husband au

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readvtolcve · 1 year

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change of heart

joshua x gn!reader

genre: pure fluff, college!au word count: 1.2k warnings: there is one kissing scene, lowercase intended synopsis: when you’re out for your senior graduation trip, you suddenly meet joshua and have a change of heart about your future plans.

a/n: i had a dream about this scenario and it was so cute i had to write it down. i’m also back in my to all the boys phase and i loved nyu hence the reason I used it. also please excuse me for the amount of times i mentioned the levain cookies but it was 1am when i wrote this and i was craving the cookie so bad even when i’ve never had it before.

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you grew up in an ordinary home -well mostly ordinary if you ignored the fact that it was an academically strict environment- with your parents. you completed your final ib exams. you were free for almost a month before you had to return for your graduation. you had been accepted into the university of toronto the month before and you were committed.

now with exams gone and university chosen, your heart felt light and giddy as you dreamed about your senior graduation trip to new york. it was three days from now and you couldn’t help but imagine yourself indulging in new york’s best chocolate chip in the levain bakery.

three days flew past by. you were pulling your suitcase behind you across the smooth-tiled airport floor with your best friend on your right. you saw your school's sign indicating which gate you should be in.

you sat on your seat and waited for the plane to take off. your heart couldn’t stop beating and you promised yourself to have the best time in your life.

you were reminded of the promise you made on the plane when you got off and made it to the heart of new york city. it was quite late so the school had dismissed us all to rest in our hotel rooms.

the next morning you woke up ready to shove ur face into those levain cookies you were drooling about for the longest time. however, you were met with the itinerary your teacher handed you as you entered the hotel lobby. the first thing on the list: visit and tour the nyu campus

you thought how wasteful this time was to you since you were already committed to a university. but you had no choice but to go along with it and visit it. maybe this would just be a good time to meet someone that has the same “chocolaty” passion for the levains cookies.

when you arrived at the nyu campus, your school was greeted by a small group holding their oriole nyu flags. you rolled your eyes at the sight and wished to just teleport to that one bakery you’d been raving about on this whole trip. your best friend on the other hand was psyched, her dream university was nyu and to see it in person was better than the levain cookie, at least that’s what she thinks. you had other opinions, opinions that were present yet discarded as soon as you saw that man. the man with the big doe eyes, plump lips and the best skin you’ve ever seen. you were fascinated, to say the least.

when you were separated into groups you found out you were with that man. you learned that the man you had your eyes on was named joshua and a second year in uni. joshua was the prettiest person you’ve ever seen. not to mention he was extremely kind. the number of times you bumped into his back while daydreaming about him was unreal. even though it was your fault he apologized and continued the tour saying he’ll pick up the pace. the tour continued until he paused and said to take a quick break in the campus cafe.

you sat down on the table near the window with a cookie and a coffee. you broke into the cookie and had a bite, it very much tasted like a regular chocolate chip cookie. a sigh left your mouth.

“are you perhaps not enjoying the tour?” joshua asked. with a surprised look on your face, you quickly shook your head no

“then why have you been sighing? is it me? sorry if i made the tour boring, i assure you that nyu is not boring, it is, in fact, anything but boring!” joshua reasoned. you giggled and he looked at you in confusion

“i’m not! i was actually sighing at the ordinary cookie here. i’ve been meaning to visit the levain bakery and taste their chocolate chip cookie but the school wanted to visit the nyu” joshua looked sorry and he was about to open his mouth to apologize when you interrupted “i have no complaints about that now though!” to which joshua sighed of relief and a smile formed on his face.

“are there any plans during the night?” joshua questioned.

“no, i don’t believe so…” you replied hesitantly

“would you like to join my trip to the levain bakery tonight?” joshua turned his head to you and asked. you were needless to say shocked but nonetheless excited at the suggestion. you complied with a simple nod and he smiled. he gestured for your phone and input his contact.”i’ll text you the details but for now we should continue the tour” he spoke with the most gentle voice you have ever heard.

after the tour, joshua did in fact text you.

“does 6 pm sounds alright? i can pick you up at your hotel. text me the details :)”

when 6oclock came rolling around your stomach was turning around with all the butterflies. you walked into the lobby to find joshua waiting. you ran toward him and apologized for being late. he dismissed it and said he was actually early and you were just on time.

joshua and you walked to the bakery and you guys instantly clicked with all the common grounds you guys had on the walk.

when you guys arrived, both of you went in line and picked out a decaf latte and the cookie and joshua asked for the same. when you’re été about to take out your wallet from your purse, joshua had paid instead. you apologized and thanked him.

the first bite into the cookie was heavenly. it was more than you could’ve asked for. you could see why it was one of the world's most famous cookie. joshua just smiled at your satisfied face and moved to wipe off the chocolate on your cheek.

as you savoured your first bite. you knew it. the decision that would forever change your life.

“joshua.” joshua hummed in response. “ i actually didnt want to visit nyu today. i wanted to run away and cafe hop to find the best chocolate chip cookie because i felt no reason to tour the campus. why would i when i was already committed to uoft? now that was the case until you showed up. you showed me the colours of new york and nyu. maybe it was just this cookie or maybe it was you, joshua, but i have a change of heart” you pause before continuing “ i wish to stay, stay with you if you would allow me” you closed your eyes afraid of what was to come next.

you felt a pair of lips on your own. joshua pulled away shortly.

“of course, i wish for you to stay beside me. i fell for you the minute i saw you and i want to create more memories like this with you.” joshua confessed

maybe it was the cookie or maybe it was joshua but in the end, you had a change of heart that led you to stay with him.

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equallyshaw · 5 months

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star crossed loves au | connor bedard x kailey hughes au ↳ not for the faint of heart. ↳ august, 2021. ↳ masterlist.

warnings: swearing, talks of depression and jack being an ass. also, there is an attempt mentioned + self harm & eating disorder. word count: 2.9k

after the panic attack in kaileys washroom that afternoon, ellen had begun to notice more and more the subtle changes in her daughter's moods and behavior. she saw the lucky go, girl who was always up for anything and everything, begin to become a recluse, quiet and very calculated girl. she saw the light in her daughter's eyes diminish and she didn't know where it all had begun. she grew worried as luke was getting ready to head off to michigan for his freshman year, while she stayed back to complete her senior year.

what was she going to do without her irish and best friend no longer in the house? :

she knew it was the final straw when kailey had declined to hang out with luke before he left, and to forgoe their 'twin day' they liked to call it which they had been doing since b before they moved to michigan where it was just the two of them, with one final day before school started up again. she watched as kailey told him no and then proceeded to head upstairs to nap, which was something she'd been doing a lot of lately. she saw the solemn and defeated look of form on her youngest son's face, and her heart absolutely broke watching him look down at the two tickets he had gotten for a festival in downtown ann arbor. he left the two tickets and headed into he garage, to take a drive. that evening as her and her husband began to get ready for bed, she told him of everything she'd been seeing with their daughter and how she had said no to luke today. to which, luke was shocked with the latter. everybody in their family knew that they gave themselves one day a year to boast in the final summer break hours with each other, and to say no was huge.

"i- i think we failed her jim. i really do. she shouldn't be feeling the way she feels in this house and this town. did we make the wrong decision moving here for jack? do you think we should of stayed in toronto and let jack head off like we had quinn do?" ellen rambled as jim pulled her into his arms. he kissed the top of her head, "she quit her sports too. i should have noticed it last year when she didn't sign up for try outs. when she lied to us and said she just didn't make it. or when she yelled at jack when they both came back from training camps...i should have known. i should have been a better mother." ellen sobbed as jim continued to comfort her. "you're not a bad mother, we are not horrible parents ellen. i promise you. the best thing we can do is be there for her, get her help and continue to show up for her - now more than ever." he said and ellen nodded, wiping her tears. "as for the move, i think about it too. i think about the 'what ifs' and if we made the right decision, and some days i do regret it but we can't go back, we can only move forward hun. we will get through this, kailey will get through this." he said a bit stoically, taking the weight and pressure off of his wife. ellen nodded taking one last look at jim, before the two of them fell asleep.

a week later, ellen drove kailey to a therapist out in detroit. she called the school the following day, inquiring if her guidance counselor could talk to her daughter once the first day rolled around, and after that conversation, her guidance counselor referred her to a social worker in detroit for her to go to therapy. kailey was confused more than anything, as to where all of this had come from, but took it with great strides. she could finally breathe for once, because somebody had finally noticed. ellen called quinn that same afternoon to let her know kailey would be going to therapy and hoped quinn could check in with kailey in a week and quinn was shocked, but was relieved that she'd have somebody to talk to and have a safe place to do so. ellen also told him some of what the guidance counselor had said, in particular, the part about jack. which made quinn beyond pissed off, and went into big brother mode.

as soon as the two got off the call, he facetimed his brother. jack's egotistical smile graced the phone screen and then fell, once he saw quinns face. "is everything ok?" he asked and quinn shook his head, "no." he stated. "you are an ass jack, a fucking ass." he began but was cut off by jack, "what the hell man? what did i do now?" jack fought back. quinn made a tsk noise, "what haven't you done. you've treated our baby sister nothing more than a roommate since you guys moved to michigan. you fucking told your teammates or friends, that she was nothing more than a roommate. what the hell jack? you're supposed to protect her and build her up, not tear her down and bully her. do you know where she's headed now because of what you and others say to her? yknow she's bullied at school, right? oh wait no, you don't because nobody told you anything about her life. kailey made sure of that. always having luke to promise he wont say anything, but he's seen it all. he see's how people treat her at school and he has seen how you've treated her as well. yknow she quit lacrosse and soccer because her mental health got so bad last year? she lied to mom and dad and said she didn't make it, but she didn't even go to the fucking try out. instead, she drove new buffalo across the god damn state. because you were at home, she drove three hours to get away from you man! three. fucking. hours." quinn paused taking a deep breathe, "she's headed to therapy jack, because of how immature you are. what do you have against her, huh? what does she have, that you don't? why did you do and say all that you did, man?" quinn questioned as jack took in all of the information.

jack felt tears spring to his eyes as he digested it all, and he swallowed harshly. "its stupid." he mumbled and quinn rolled his eyes. "speak up man." quinn demanded.

"its dumb!" jack said louder now and quinn gave him a deadpanned look, "it cant be that stupid if it's given her years of torment." quinn said irritably. "have you ever thought of life if we hadn't gotten into hockey?" jack questioned and quinn's eyebrows furrowed, "have you ever thought of how life would have played out? the freedom we'd have or the ability to plan our own future?" he added. quinn sighed, as he continued to listen. "its stupid because when we moved to michigan, i was hurting. i didn't or couldn't understand why. i didn't understand when i was supposedly living out my dream of playing for team usa, and dedicating my life and time to the sport that we love. i think apart of me hated that we had to move, or that i did. mom and dad didn't listen to me when i said i'd move there by myself, but then they said that luke has a shot of getting into the program too so it would be easier to move everybody. but they didn't listen to when i asked about kailey, and how she'd adjust. i was hurting because i felt like a burden, because of the way kailey reacted to the move. she began to cry, she began to yell at mom and dad about how they were ruining their lives, and then she began to scream at me. telling me how selfish i was, and how much of a brat i was because we were moving because of me." jack paused to sniffle and wipe a stray tear.

"i was hurt because she was hurt, and then i took my anger and frustration and sadness out on her. which was wrong of me, i now understand and know. when we got there, i took on the burden of having to prove how beneficial it was for me or us to move. had to be number one in order to prove to kailey that it was the best decision. had to show everybody that i was meant to be there. all the while, she was hurting because of me and i was too narrow-minded-" quinn cut him off, "you were a dummy." and jack nodded in agreement.

"once i started to make sly comments towards her and about, it snowballed and i knew it was too far past redemption or apologies. so i rolled with it. i became the villain in her story, and if i could go back now - i'd do it differently. it was not fair or right of me to treat her that way. mom and dad didn't raise me to be that way, and i let them down. i let all of you down, especially kailey."

back to kailey:

she sat down in the aesthetically pleasing therapist's office, as her mom waited outside. she sat down in front of the woman her mom had told her about, and how she would be able to help if they were a good fit.

"so kailey, do you know why your mom brought you here today?" the younger woman questioned and kailey nodded. "because im depressed." she stated as her hands clasped together and began to fidget with them. "how long would you say you've been depressed, kailey?" the social worker questioned softly. the blonde girl swallowed counting in her head, "i would say for six years now." she stated and the social worker nodded. "do you know what triggered it? or anything that might have been the start of it?" they questioned sitting back to let the blonde speak.

kailey nodded, "when we moved from toronto to ann arbor for my brother jacks hockey program. my parent's didn't listen when i said i didn't want to move. i didn't want to uproot my life that had finally calmed down." she began, "once we moved, jack became mean. i mean we didn't always get along growing up but enough to where when he began to taunt me, say mean things to me- it was almost as if it was whiplash. i couldn't believe that he'd do such a thing. at the time, i was also mean. i was mean to my parents because i couldn't accept that they'd made this terrible decision. i was mad because they didn't let jack come to michigan like our older brother quinn did, when he joined the same program. and then luke became even more dedicated to hockey as well. it felt like i was losing my support system and Irish twin, but in reality i wasn't. it just felt like i was losing control on the world i had hated for years. hockey took away my brothers. took away my life and family. everything bad that has happened in my life, is because of it. i can't stand to watch it, i only went for my oldest brother - quinns - pro debut in vancouver and then i haven't been to a game since. i even told my other brother luke who will be at michigan this year, that i wont watch his games. i wish him well and hope he doesn't get hurt, but i know that hurts him. i know it. but i cant allow myself to watch it or even think about it." kailey said before taking a pause to breathe.

the social worker spoke up, "it is not unusual for you to have created boundaries. we do that as a coping mechanism, even if other do not see it as such. we do it so we can protect our hearts, our minds and our psyche. you cutting off hockey is not surprising. its a triggering thing for you, which makes sense given your relationship to jack." they paused to change course a bit, "my next question is...have you used those boundaries to in turn harm yourself in anyway?" they questioned. kailey felt as if the air was knocked out of her, as she felt tears form. she swallowed them down, before taking a breath. kailey nodded, before breaking down. the social worker watched for a few seconds, before moving over to the couch next to the girl. the social worker hesitated before wrapping her arms around the girl, who immediately grasped onto her arms. the social worker rubbed her upper back, trying to comfort the girl.

nobody had ever asked her that before, nobody knew the great lengths she had gone to have some sort of control over her life.

"yes." kailey breathed as anxiety coursed through her. the social worker nodded and continued to hold her for a few more minutes, before kailey calmed down. she wiped her tears and took a few tissues that were on the coffee table before her.

the social worker moved back to the other chair and waited for kailey to speak.

"i didn't realize it at first, but I've known for some time that my eating habits aren't healthy. i used food as a way to have some control in my life, when decisions were being made for me and the way that people treated me at home and at school. i used it because i couldn't control my environment. i haven't self harmed myself in a year, since jack left and people began to leave me alone at school. i took their words out on myself, because i felt like i deserved it for whatever reason. i took the way people viewed me to heart, and knew that that was another way i could harm myself." kailey explained, and the social worker nodded.

"how are your eating patterns now?" she asked kailey and the girl shrugged. "could be better, could be worse." she said before she dived into them, and how they had gotten better over the past year but worsened when jack came home for the offseason. the social worker and her dug deep into that conversation, before the social worker had one more question to ask.

"have you ever had an attempt?" they questioned and kailey sighed, before looking away. she had pushed that moment into the back of her mind for so, so long. she didn't like to think of it because it didn't work, and felt embarrassed about it.

"yeah i uh, i was alone a weekend during my sophomore year. jack had one last tournament with team USA and my parents took my brother luke to canada for it. and because i could drive, i stayed back. and I've uh never told anybody that before." she finished before chugging more of the coffee she had brought. the social worker nodded, "so it was just the once?" they clarified and the girl nodded. "i feel ashamed and embarrassed. but i didn't have anybody to call. i couldn't call q because he was canada working, and then i couldn't call luke because he was also with my parents and my best friend becca was living her life back in toronto. i was all alone, and had nobody." she finished and the social worker nodded. "for starters, i want to thankyou for sharing me all that you did today. it is difficult to come into an unfamiliar space with somebody you don't know, and share your deepest secrets and the one's you hide from the world. it takes courage and strength my dear, and those are things you do not lack." the social worker began and they saw a small smile form on the girls pale features. "and i know things will come up as we meet, but how about we come up with a plan for moving forward, things we will do together and what you'll do on your own?" and kailey nodded.

kailey waited in the small waiting room for her mom to come out of the office. the social worker wanted time with her mother to talk about what had been shared and their plan moving forward, with the consent of kailey ofcourse- since she was 18. ellen came out with a puffy face and thanked the social worker before the two walked out. ellen took ahold of her daughter's hand as they walked back to the car. the two hopped into the car and ellen sat there as kailey got her seatbelt on. ellen sniffled before looking at her youngest baby before grabbing ahold of her left hand, "im sorry you've had to deal with all of that without anybody knowing. im sorry you've had to carry so much pain, shame and anger these past years here. im sorry that i didn't notice sooner, my love." ellen said as a tear broke through. kailey nodded in acknowledgment taking ahold of her mom's hand with her other, and smiled. "i appreciate that mom, i really do." she smiled before ellen kissed her daughter's temple. she wiped her tears before turning on the car, "how about we go surprise luke for dinner?" and kailey nodded profusely.

im sorry that was so sad ): hope you enjoyed tho!

#connor bedard au #star crossed lovers au #luke hughes #jack hughes #quinn hughes #umich hockey #new jersey devils #vancouver canucks #luke hughes blurb #quinn hughes blurb #jack hughes blurb

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eddiediaaz · 3 months

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help me figure out my personal/profesionnal life (jk i'm just feeling messy and curious because i seriously don't know what to fucking do)

for context: i've been working successfully in the vfx industry since 2016. unfortunately, following the (much needed) hollywood strikes last summer, the industry was shaken. then, as the vfx industry was slowly starting to get up from the 2023 strikes, my government (quebec, canada), decided to cut much needed tax credits/funding for the industry. this decision was announced only a month ago (june 2024), which means the industry will not get better and will actually mostly die out, because it relied a lot on this funding to support the artists' salaries. it's estimated that only 20% of jobs will remain in the province where i live by 2025 (i myself have been unemployed for 6 months now). i am not a senior artist, so i would struggle finding a job with so little openings and multiple artists fighting for the same opportunities. i like working in the industry, the money is good enough for me and the projects can be interesting. but it's also a lot of overtime work sometimes, and it's quite a volatile industry since it's not regulated/unionized.

even more context: i'm 31, i have no money, no savings, a few k's of credit/film school debt left to pay, and that kind of "specialized" work i did for 7 years (vfx compositing) is a bit too niche to be applied to another job, to be honest. the two main options are to follow the industry somewhere else in canada (like vancouver or toronto, which are both a lot more expensive than my current city), or even london and especially australia; or start over with a new career. moving sounds fun and quite daunting, but i also don't have much money, no family outside of my province, and i have 3 cats to think about. there's also the possibility to keep working in the film industry but to do something else. which would also require to restart from the almost bottom. i also have no clue what kind of job/career i wanna do if not vfx, but i'm trying to stay open minded about it. what would you do?

#i know this is weird but i'm CURIOUS #and i need help #i don't know what to do #SORRY THIS IS WEIRD fdskjbfdsfsd #shut up alie #im struggling a lot mentally and financially right now i need all the help i can get lol

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notabeanie · 10 months

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You know. There are a lot of things you could say about the original scott pilgrim comics, and I find myself profoundly uninterested in saying most of those things. But there is one thing I will say and that is that for all the whatever you wanna say about it I still find the way Brian Lee O'Malley writes women pretty compelling and I think it genuinely changed my life for the better.

Like ok this doesn't mean that much in 2023 because the world is different now. But like imagine it's 2008 and you're 15 years old and you still think you're a girl because you won't figure out that you can be trans for like another decade and a half and up to this point your entire context for gender roles has been the cast of fucking Friends, and someone has given these comics to your brother who is Not A Reader in a desperate bid to get him to Read Something and he remains Not A Reader but you are a voracious little bottomless pit for words and for neat pictures and so you're like ok maybe this mine now.

And you open it up and here are all these girls that are WEIRD. Girls with spiky hair and punky boots. Girls who wear tracksuits almost exclusively. Girls who are surly and don't care if you like them. Girls who have ex girlfriends. Girls who disconsent to sex. This seems normal now, but in 2008??? This was RADICAL.

And not only are there all these weird girls, but the weird girls are DESIRABLE. They're the dream girl. They're the competing love interests. They have exes who are billionaires and movie stars. The main character is melting into a puddle of pathetic goo left and right for all these women who are so decidedly not traditionally feminine. Like these are not Zooey Deschanel "look I have big eyes and brown hair haha aren't I quirky" women these are "we defy the bounds of traditional womanhood and we don't care what you think about it but we will still kick your ass" women.

And like do you know what that can do to to the psyche of a 15 year old whose main gender role model up to this point had been the Totally fucking Spies?? Huge. Enormous. The blasted landscape of gender is unrecognizable as any semblance of what it once was.

Not to mention that thanks to BLOM's art style, people of all genders are drawn basically androgynous and squarish. Sure there's a little tiddy but nobody is stick thin or hourglass curvy or with huge breasts busting out of blouses. It's not exactly body diversity sure, but these are normal ass looking women with completely rectangular legs and they still get to be sexy and wear leather and lingerie and fishnet stockings and be rockstars and dream girls and that was really fucking cool, to me, in 2008.

When I was a senior in high school I got a pair of big fuckin boots and some tights. In first year university I cut my hair like Ramona Flowers' with safety scissors in my dorm room in Toronto. I clomped down Bloor Street past the old Honest Eds and all these hyper local references directly from the books (it was Canadian! Nothing was ever Canadian!) and it felt like I could do this. This was a kind of girl I could be. Scott Pilgrim had opened up whole new vistas for gender expression that I had not previously even known were possible.

Like maybe there was a little roughness around the edges. But there was goodness there. It did good. It helped. It changed me. For a new generation who are looking at those books and can't imagine why they meant so much to someone I just wanted to explain.

#scott pilgrim #scott pilgrim takes off #also do not fucking get me started on my obsessive fucking headcanon about Ramona being trans #or about the class politics!#like the bad guys are billionaires and movie stars and the good guys are line colds and Amazon delivery workers.#and also for a closet bi trans kid was there MAYBE a bit of a power fantasy about being an ordinary guy #who was somehow inexplicably popular and got to date a hot punky queer girl??#yeah like. probably.#And like was I *emulating* Ramona Flowers or did I want to *kiss* Ramona flowers?#Yes.#like I'm not saying it was perfect but it sparked joy

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mariacallous · 5 days

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Andrew Chakhoyan: TIFF falls into the Russian propaganda trap

“I didn’t see Russians committing war crimes,” said Russian-Canadian director Anastasia Trofimova, whose film about Russia’s invasion of Ukraine, Russians at War, premiered at the Venice Film Festival in early September. Given her tenure at RT (formerly Russia Today) — a propaganda outlet linked to Russian security services — this statement was as predictable as it was revolting.

But it takes two to tango. While Trofimova spent years spreading Moscow’s lies with RT, the decision to feature her “documentary,” which falsely portrays invading Russian troops as victims, was ours. Even more troubling, the free world — represented by Canada in this instance — helped finance it with $340,000 from the Canada Media Fund and TVO, Ontario’s public broadcaster.

To top it all off, the Toronto International Film Festival thought it was righteous to insist that the screening must proceed as planned, despite outcry from the Ukrainian Canadian Congress, Deputy Prime Minister Chrystia Freeland, who is of Ukrainian heritage, and others. Not only do TIFF organizers appear seduced by the Kremlin propaganda, they channel it — insinuating that peaceful protests are a threat to the “safety of all festival guests.”

How can we still be infatuated with the “great” Russian culture after the atrocities in Mariupol, the Bucha massacre, videos of beheadings, and the horrific images of returning Ukrainian POWs looking like they had escaped from Auschwitz?

Why did we miss the wake-up call of the Georgia invasion? Crimea annexation? The downing of Malaysia Airlines Flight 17 over eastern Ukraine in 2014? Have we learned nothing since Russian tanks crossed Ukraine’s sovereign border in scenes eerily reminiscent of Nazi Germany’s march across Europe? Can we not understand that by giving false narratives a platform and amplifying the voices of Russian propagandists, we risk complicity in their deceit?

Russian President Vladimir Putin isn’t personally committing atrocities in Ukraine — “Russians at War” are, with overwhelming public support back home. The film is a sleight of hand that strips Russian people of their agency — precisely what their government wants.

Trofimova may claim she “didn’t see” these crimes, but why are we still blind to what’s unfolding before our eyes?

Wilful ignorance is the answer. Our desire for balance turns into a dangerous trap when we start treating Russian aggression as just another “perspective” deserving a fair hearing — where the crimes of a malevolent, imperialist state are weighed against the suffering of its victims in a framework of false equivalence. The language of empathy and understanding, so vital in many global contexts, turns into a tool of subversion weaponized by FSB and GRU — Moscow’s omnipotent security agencies that run propaganda channels like RT.

Moreover, decades of underestimating Russia’s intentions and capabilities have left many western societies blind to the manipulation embedded in “cultural products” like Trofimova’s film. In the pursuit of diplomacy, the West has repeatedly offered Russia opportunities to reframe its image despite the overt threats of nuclear Armageddon pushed by anchors on state-run TV channels or senior officials alike.

Even the glorification of Russian “great power” status plays a role. We appear charmed by the farcical myth of Russian cultural and historical greatness, forgetting that Moscow spent billions gaslighting the West, infiltrating our academic, artistic and cultural institutions.

The idea of pacifism, like many other concepts, has been perverted by the Kremlin, suggesting that the victim who refuses to be murdered or subjugated holds the key to “conflict resolution.” Even if we set aside the idea of punishing the aggressor to prevent future violence, we must be honest: the power to “stop the killings” is not with the victim.

For a long time, I have subscribed to the noble idea of not questioning people’s motives, but now I am a committed consequentialist. If you parrot Kremlin talking points and call for peace while conveniently forgetting to name the aggressor, I presume you are carrying Moscow’s water, wittingly or not. In times of war, the burden of proof must shift; one’s motives deserve to be questioned if one’s words or actions serve an inherently evil cause.

Trofimova’s documentary isn’t just an isolated misstep, nor is it a case of artistic license gone astray. It symbolizes something deeper: the West’s enduring refusal to wake up to the realities of Ruscism (Russian fascism). But as history has shown, wilful blindness only emboldens the aggressor and makes future horrors inevitable.

Our moral obligation extends beyond thoughts and prayers. Russia will continue committing war crimes until we — societies that value dignity, freedom, and the rule of law — take decisive action to stop it. While we falter in doing what’s right, the least we owe to Ukraine and ourselves is the moral clarity of distinguishing the aggressor from the victim.

Trofimova’s film distorts the reality of Moscow’s genocidal actions, and our passive response to these machinations makes us complicit. Given that the collective West has committed to Ukraine’s fight but failed to commit to Ukraine’s victory, let us at least avoid aiding Moscow’s disinformation, and admit when we’ve fallen into a Kremlin trap.

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marlo-noni · 5 months

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Thank you @cynosurus for asking if I've ever written about my Mandarin learning journey, because I haven't, and I have stuff to say about it!

So, why and how did this middle-aged white lady learn Chinese? Here's the first part of that story, which focuses on why and how I started, and gets pretty introspective.

First of all, I was born and raised in the suburbs of Vancouver, Canada, and I've lived in Vancouver proper since 2003. We have a very large Chinese-Canadian population. As of 2009, about 30% of people in Vancouver have some Chinese ancestry.

I've always been really into languages. In my first year of university, I studied Latin, and the grammar was so difficult that I wasn't motivated to continue studying a dead language.

So in my second year, in 1999, I started studying Mandarin. I thought (1) it would be a challenge, (2) it's a very useful language to know in Vancouver, (3) I grew up around a lot of overt anti-Asian racism and wanted to combat that, and (4) I wanted to learn more about the Chinese culture that was always around me but that I knew practically nothing about. It also helped that my grandmother, always a free thinker, had been practicing tai chi since 1980 (the year I was born), and my grandparents went on a trip to China in the mid-90s and came back with interesting photos and stories.

I think it also must have been in the zeitgeist in the 90s that Asian culture was cool, and white people wanted to appropriate it. I was certainly into J-pop and anime by then, and I actually wore a qipao to grad (Canadian equivalent of senior prom) that I bought in Chinatown. If you've seen or read Scott Pilgrim, which takes place in Toronto (which also has a very large Chinese population) in the 90s, that gives you a bit of an idea of white Canadians' relationship with Chinese-Canadians at that time.

I say all this just to make it clear that although very few white people in my community studied Chinese back then, and one of the reasons I started studying it was anti-racism, I wasn't some galaxy-brained politically pure being. I had good intentions, but I still lived in that time and did a lot of the same ignorant stuff other white people did. I had Chinese friends, but I cringe when I think of some of the things I said to them and did back then. It has been a decades-long learning process for me.

I'm also very lucky that my university (the University of British Columbia, aka UBC) has an extremely robust Asian Studies program. My Chinese* classes were very intensive - 2 hours long, 4 times a week, with language labs on top of that (I can't remember anymore how long). We got 6 credits per semester instead of 3 because it was double the coursework and class time of a regular class. Because I intended to minor in Chinese, I also took Asian Studies classes, including a general overview of Asian history (2 semesters long), modern Chinese literature in translation, and early Chinese dynastic history.

I studied Chinese in university for 3 years. UBC had two Chinese language streams - one for "non-heritage" speakers, and one for "heritage speakers". They interviewed all the students beforehand to decide which stream we should be in. Being in the non-heritage stream made it nearly impossible to minor or major in Chinese, simply because it takes so long to learn. I would estimate we were only at HSK 2, approaching HSK 3, by the time my third year was done. But the fourth year, the last year, placed all the heritage and non-heritage students together, and the fourth-year classes were reading Chinese literature. One girl in my class, who'd lived in Taiwan before and was the best student in our class, went to speak with a fourth-year professor to ask if she could take his class because she wanted to minor in Chinese. He basically told her it would be impossible. I can understand the university's dilemma, though. I don't know how they teach it now - if they've ever come up with a solution. I think now there are probably more non-heritage students who studied Mandarin in high school. That simply wasn't an option when I was growing up.

The other thing is that I wasn't a great student in university, because I hadn't yet been diagnosed with depression and wouldn't be until my 5th year (I was also working part-time, so I did fewer classes and attended for an extra year). University was slowly making my mental illness worse until I finally had a breakdown in my final year. So my first year of studying Chinese, I got pretty good grades, but by my third year (fourth year of being in university), I was getting C+'s.

So by the time I was done university, I'd say I was at about HSK 2 level, and it was time for me to start working. From then on, any Chinese study I did would be self-study, and like many people's hobbies, my interest waxed and waned over time. More on that in future posts.

(*)at that time, UBC didn't teach Cantonese, even though the vast majority of the Chinese diaspora in Vancouver spoke it. I think that's been historically true for most West Coast cities in North America, although that has been changing. So the only option at that time was Mandarin. Also, we learned simplified characters.

#me #mandarin #中文

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nicofms · 7 months

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( jack gilinsky . cismale . he/him ) - the new york city resident , niccolò ‘nico’ costa , was seen sporting armani on park avenue today . the twenty - five year old is a nba player in the city & has been here for two years . since being here , they have been told to be manipulative , but also resilient , who really knows ! according to nycslam , nico engaged in a locker room fight at his previous team before being traded . anyways , guess we'll find out for ourselves ! [ az , 20 , est , he/him ]

i. STATS !

full name : niccolò 'nico' costa

gender / pronouns : cismale ( he / him )

age : twenty - five

birthday : september 21st

zodiac : virgo

occupation : nba player ( point guard for the new york knicks )

height : 6 ' 5

sexuality : heterosexual

ii. BIO !

niccolò costa was born in florence, italy to two italian parents. well off was a way to describe the life nico lived even at a young age. his mom was a retired super model and his dad was a successful businessman. he lived in various parts of italy throughout his childhood and traveled frequently. when niccolò turned 13 his parents decided to move to los angeles, california at the request of their son. nico was always given what he wanted and when the boy came to his parents about wanting to move to america, in hopes of making his basketball dreams a potential reality, they didn’t think twice.

teenage niccolò arrived in california with a goal in mind and once he set his mind on something, there was no one that could stop him. so he practiced and practiced whenever he could, mastering any sort of skill that could attribute him to being the best player he could be. he had a successful high school career, winning back-to-back-to-back national championships with his high school team, and in his senior year he got offered a full ride, not that he needed it, to the university of kentucky where he had a great first season.

niccolò got drafted by the toronto raptors right after his first year of playing college basketball in the university of kentucky. he had a successful rookie year, coming in second for the rookie of the year award and helping his team have a successful playoff run. his success as a player only grew in his second year, leading the raptors to the number one spot in the eastern conference. unfortunately, his season came to an early close when he broke his leg just a couple of games before the playoffs.

heading into his third year, nico felt like he had a lot to prove. there was a lot of doubt on him being able to play at the same level in which he was playing at before his injury. making it his mission to prove that he could, nico became less of a team player and more about him. this caused a lot of tension between him and his teammates and coaches. his team failed to make it to the playoffs that year and a lot of the blame was put on him.

his fourth season had an immediate rocky start. the team couldn’t seem to make anything work and niccolò kept getting blamed. eventually, by the first half of the season the news broke out that nico was being traded to the new york knicks. admittedly, he wasn’t a fan of the move because he had too much pride to be happy about a trade he didn’t request. landing in new york, he felt he had even more to prove and he seemed to be redeeming himself by helping the knicks come back in the second half of the season.

nico has lived in new york for two years now since being traded. he’s found his peace with it but will still refuse to show to people that it was not his choice. and now in his sixth year in the league, nico wants to win. no more almosts or runner up spots, but an actual championship or award.

iii. PERSONALITY !

he grew up treated as a golden child so he's very self - centered and selfish. he can definitely be a hot head and rude / mean. he'll always do anything to get what he wants which causes him to be both determined but also manipulative. he can be a flirt but he typically just assumes girls would want him, his ego is huge. outside of his asshole exterior, though, he can be a softie if he feels safe enough to show that type of vulnerability with someone. and if you're one of the few people in his list of ' maybe not - so - terrible humans ', he'll take a bullet for you.

iv. WANTED CONNECTIONS !

possible friends ( probably one best friend as his right hand man / woman )

enemies / people that dislike him ( most likely has a few )

exes

flings / fwbs ( past or current )

family connections ( cousins, family friends, siblings ??, etc. )

these are just some ideas more can be plotted / discussed !

#richfm:intro #writing this at nearly 1am so if it comes out a mess i apologize #* 𝐍𝐈𝐂𝐎 : intro .

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scotianostra · 1 year

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Marion Patterson nee Chalmers, was born on August 26th 1911 in Aberdeen.

Marions parents emigrated to canade in 1919, where she lived for 20 years, in August 1939, she, her husband Guthrie Patterson, (who hailed from Dundee,) and their son Douglas moved back to Aberdeen.

War broke out shortly after moving back to Aberdeen, Scotland in 1939, and Marion enlisted as an ambulance driver. She really enjoyed her job and attended classes when not on duty to become more proficient in her work. She became a lifetime member of the Order of the Eastern Star and belonged to the White Shrine. Marion was Queen in the order of the White Shrine for two years and was also Prelate in the Order of the Amaranth for a number of years. In the summer of 1942, an emergency bulletin was issued, "All Canadian children and parents wishing to return to Canada, should apply to a steamship office in Glasgow." Marion did not think the War would last very long, but, the thought of taking Douglas to the shelter every night, effects on his schooling and his health, made her decide to send him to her mother in Toronto. She wanted to stay with the ambulance service until the War was over so that she and her husband could return to Toronto together. The next day, two Red Cross ships carrying Canadian children and 200 wounded, were torpedoed in the Glasgow harbour. Her son Douglas was not injured. The damaged ships returned to Glasgow for 10 days for repair and eventually made their way safely to Toronto.

The War raged on, the damage to Aberdeen was indescribable and times were bleak. Marion decided to open her own Hairdressing salon, which had been a dream of hers for many years. She did this with enthusiasm and was very happy to be working at hairdressing again after such a long while. Marion wanted to contribute in some way and in October of 1942, became a Senior Fire Guard for the Civil Defence in Aberdeen, Scotland. One day, while on duty, Marion was using a stirrup pump to extinguish a burning building on South Market Street, when she heard cries for help coming from the building. With stirrup pump in hand, she could see a way to start burrowing under some walls that had collapsed. It took quite some time, but she managed to get to the sailor who was trapped below. Unfortunately, his legs were trapped under some timber beams and Marion could not free him. He was too weak to help. She looked around and found some loose pieces of wood and by pushing on the loose pieces, had enough leverage to partially lift the timber. At that point, the sailor was able to wiggle himself loose. Marion kept calling above for help and finally a rope was lowered through the damaged walls. She was able to tie the rope around the sailor's waist and with help got him out of the burning building. They were both exhausted, but safe. One minute after escaping from the building, it collapsed.

The incident was written up in the London Gazzette on December 4, 1942. Marion was invited to attend at Buckingham Palace on the 12th of February 1943 to receive a presentation of the George Medal by King George VI. During the presentation, it was announced that Marion was the first street Fire Guard to win a medal while engaged in fire duties. As part of the award, Marion was also selected for portraiture in a special section of the National Gallery of England set aside for heroes and heroines of the blitz. She was also invited to be a guest at Balmoral Castle so as to be able to visit at any time she wished, for the remainder of her life. The famous Scots Artist, Mr. Robert Sivell, R.S.A. had been commissioned by King George VI to paint Marion's portrait. Mr. Sivell worked at the Aberdeen College of Art and Marion was scheduled to meet with him for several sittings.

Marion kept the portrait a secret from her family because it came as such a surprise to her; she wanted it to be a big surprise to them too. She was able to dash away from her hairdressing shop to attend special sittings for the portrait. When it was finally completed, Marion again attended Buckingham Place for the presentation. The original painting was hung in the National Gallery, London, England and was shown in a Special Wing for Heroes and Heroines of the 1939-1945 War. Her portrait had the honour of hanging between General Eisenhower and General Montgomery. Two replicas were also created and a sketch in black and white. One replica is in the Ottawa, Ontario War Museum in Canada and was part of the Women at War Display in 1985. The black and white sketch was sent to the Gallery in Aberdeen, Scotland. Just under 40 women in UK were awarded the UK George Medal. Marion was awarded another 5 medals during WWII for her actions as a Civil Defence Senior Fire Guard. Her medals are on display at the Aberdeen Art Gallery having been purchased in 2005 by the Aberdeen City Council and the Friends of Aberdeen Art Gallery and Museums. They form part of the Artists at War display.

Marion moved back to Toronto after the war where she worked as a hairdresser and lived with her family until her death. She enjoyed traveling and was able to make many trips to Scotland and England. She faced many challenges throughout her life during and after the war, including breast cancer in 1975, which she also battled and conquered. She had three grandchildren, five great grandchildren, and four great-great grandchildren. She is shown below in August of 1982 with husband Guthrie and great grandson Darryl James Wannamaker.

#scotland #scottish #history #world war two #heroine #war heroine #scots-canadian

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bjrcrecruiting · 4 days

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Partnering with Toronto’s Accounting Recruiters: Tips for Success

Finding top-tier accounting talent can be a daunting task for any organization. Whether you’re a growing business seeking an experienced CFO or a startup in need of a skilled accountant to manage day-to-day finances, partnering with an accounting recruitment firm is often the most effective way to streamline your hiring process and secure the best talent.

In this blog post, we’ll explore the benefits of working with accounting recruiters in Toronto, share tips for building a successful partnership, and offer insights into how recruitment firms can help elevate your accounting team.

Why Partner with Accounting Recruiters in Toronto?

Toronto is one of Canada’s leading business hubs, home to countless companies in industries such as finance, tech, manufacturing, and more. This diverse landscape creates a demand for highly skilled accounting professionals who can help organizations stay financially sound and compliant with evolving regulations.

Recruiting for these roles, however, requires more than just posting a job and waiting for applicants. Accounting professionals must possess a unique blend of technical expertise, attention to detail, and industry-specific knowledge. This is where working with top accounting recruiters in Toronto can provide a major advantage.

Benefits of Working with Accounting Recruitment Firms

Access to Specialized Talent A key benefit of partnering with an accounting recruitment firm is their access to a large pool of candidates who are pre-screened and ready for placement. Recruiters specialize in identifying individuals with the right mix of skills, certifications, and experience. Whether you’re looking for a senior accountant, auditor, or financial analyst, accounting recruiters in Toronto know where to find the best talent.

In-depth Industry Knowledge Accounting roles are often highly technical, requiring candidates who are not only good with numbers but who also understand tax laws, financial reporting, and industry-specific regulations. Recruitment agencies that specialize in accounting have a deep understanding of these technical requirements and are experts at matching candidates to the unique needs of your business.

Faster Hiring Process In today’s competitive job market, top accounting talent is often snapped up quickly. Relying solely on traditional hiring methods can result in missed opportunities, leaving your business at a disadvantage. By working with top accounting recruiters in Toronto, you can accelerate the hiring process. Recruitment firms have existing relationships with candidates, allowing them to move quickly to fill your vacancy before competitors do.

Reduced Risk of a Bad Hire Making a poor hiring decision can be costly in terms of time and money. Recruitment agencies take much of the guesswork out of hiring by conducting thorough candidate screenings, checking references, and even running background checks. This reduces the risk of hiring someone who may not be the right fit for your organization.

Tailored Recruitment Solutions Every company has unique hiring needs. A specialized accounting recruitment firm will work closely with your organization to understand your goals, company culture, and the specific qualifications you require for the role. This personalized approach ensures that you’re not just hiring someone with the right skills but also someone who aligns with your long-term vision and values.

Tips for Partnering with Toronto’s Accounting Recruiters

While working with a recruitment firm in Toronto can provide many benefits, it’s essential to approach the partnership strategically. Here are a few tips to help ensure a successful collaboration:

Clearly Define Your Needs Before reaching out to Toronto accounting recruitment firms, it’s essential to clearly understand the role you’re hiring for. What specific skills and qualifications are required? Is there room for flexibility in terms of experience or certifications? The more information you provide to your recruiter, the better equipped they will be to find candidates who meet your exact needs.

Choose the Right Recruitment Partner Not all recruitment firms are created equal, and it's important to choose a partner with a proven track record in accounting placements. Look for firms that specialize in finance and accounting roles, have a deep understanding of the Toronto job market, and have a strong network of candidates. Working with a firm that is well-established in the local accounting recruitment scene will increase your chances of finding the right candidate quickly.

Maintain Open Communication A successful partnership with an accounting recruitment firm is built on open and regular communication. Be clear about your expectations, timeline, and any potential challenges the recruiter should be aware of. Providing timely feedback on candidates and communicating any changes in your hiring needs will also help ensure a smooth process.

Trust the Recruiter’s Expertise Recruiters spend their entire careers studying the job market and understanding the needs of both employers and candidates. Trusting their expertise can go a long way in finding the right fit for your company. Whether it's advice on salary expectations, market trends, or candidate availability, lean on your recruiter’s industry knowledge to make informed decisions.

Provide a Positive Candidate Experience Remember that the recruitment process reflects your company. Even when working with an external recruiter, it’s important to maintain a positive candidate experience. Ensure interviews are conducted professionally, provide timely responses to candidate inquiries, and keep the lines of communication open throughout the hiring process. A positive experience can help you stand out in a competitive market, increasing your chances of securing top talent.

How to Choose the Best Accounting Recruiter in Toronto

When it comes to selecting the right accounting recruiters in Toronto, it’s important to look for firms that specialize in the accounting and finance sectors. These firms will have the expertise needed to identify candidates who are qualified and a strong fit for your company’s culture and goals.

Here are a few key qualities to look for:

Industry Expertise: Does the recruitment firm specialize in accounting and finance roles?

Track Record: How successful have they been in placing top accounting talent in the Toronto area?

Candidate Network: Do they have access to a strong pool of qualified accounting professionals?

Client Testimonials: What do previous clients say about their experience working with the firm?

Partnering with a specialized Toronto accounting recruitment firm can make all the difference when it comes to finding the right accounting professionals for your organization. By working with recruiters who understand the local market and have access to top-tier talent, you can streamline your hiring process, reduce the risk of a bad hire, and ensure that you’re bringing on the best possible candidates.

At BJRC Recruiting, we are committed to helping companies find top accounting talent in Toronto and across North America. If you’re looking for a trusted partner in your accounting recruitment efforts, contact us today.

Know more https://bjrcrecruiting.com/2024/09/22/success-tips-toronto-accounting-recruiters/

#Accounting Recruiters #Toronto #Recruiters

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virtchandmoir · 2 years

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November 12, 2022

Jann Arden welcomes celebrated Olympian-turned-Executive Advisor Tessa Virtue for a conversation about her transition out of competitive ice dancing. Jann and Sarah ask her about finding confidence on and off the ice, her relationship with Toronto Maple Leafs Defenceman Morgan Rielly, going back to school, and what she dreams of doing next!

Having retired from skating, Tessa joined Deloitte as an Executive Advisor, working with the firm's senior leaders and their clients to translate her learning and experience as a world-class, high-performance athlete to the corporate world. Specifically, Tessa has been a key member of a team creating a new approach to working with organizations to help them and their people operate in a state of performance, allowing individuals to feel and perform at their best while also elevating the performance of teams, business units and the entire organization. Drawing parallels to her experience with pressure, competition and different approaches to training and coaching, Tessa shares important lessons in mental health and well-being, both as an accomplished speaker and an advisor.

Tessa is also a member of the Order of Canada. She has her MBA from the Smith School of Business and is currently working towards her Masters of Applied Positive Psychology at the University of Pennsylvania

Follow Tessa on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tessavirtue17 Follow Tessa on Twitter: https://twitter.com/tessavirtue

#tessa #off ice #interview: the jann arden podcast #which management #manifesto? cause she's still listed with them

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jcmarchi · 4 months

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Elaine Liu: Charging ahead

New Post has been published on https://thedigitalinsider.com/elaine-liu-charging-ahead/

Elaine Liu: Charging ahead

MIT senior Elaine Siyu Liu doesn’t own an electric car, or any car. But she sees the impact of electric vehicles (EVs) and renewables on the grid as two pieces of an energy puzzle she wants to solve.

The U.S. Department of Energy reports that the number of public and private EV charging ports nearly doubled in the past three years, and many more are in the works. Users expect to plug in at their convenience, charge up, and drive away. But what if the grid can’t handle it?

Electricity demand, long stagnant in the United States, has spiked due to EVs, data centers that drive artificial intelligence, and industry. Grid planners forecast an increase of 2.6 percent to 4.7 percent in electricity demand over the next five years, according to data reported to federal regulators. Everyone from EV charging-station operators to utility-system operators needs help navigating a system in flux.

That’s where Liu’s work comes in.

Liu, who is studying mathematics and electrical engineering and computer science (EECS), is interested in distribution — how to get electricity from a centralized location to consumers. “I see power systems as a good venue for theoretical research as an application tool,” she says. “I’m interested in it because I’m familiar with the optimization and probability techniques used to map this level of problem.”

Liu grew up in Beijing, then after middle school moved with her parents to Canada and enrolled in a prep school in Oakville, Ontario, 30 miles outside Toronto.

Liu stumbled upon an opportunity to take part in a regional math competition and eventually started a math club, but at the time, the school’s culture surrounding math surprised her. Being exposed to what seemed to be some students’ aversion to math, she says, “I don’t think my feelings about math changed. I think my feelings about how people feel about math changed.”

Liu brought her passion for math to MIT. The summer after her sophomore year, she took on the first of the two Undergraduate Research Opportunity Program projects she completed with electric power system expert Marija Ilić, a joint adjunct professor in EECS and a senior research scientist at the MIT Laboratory for Information and Decision Systems.

Predicting the grid

Since 2022, with the help of funding from the MIT Energy Initiative (MITEI), Liu has been working with Ilić on identifying ways in which the grid is challenged.

One factor is the addition of renewables to the energy pipeline. A gap in wind or sun might cause a lag in power generation. If this lag occurs during peak demand, it could mean trouble for a grid already taxed by extreme weather and other unforeseen events.

If you think of the grid as a network of dozens of interconnected parts, once an element in the network fails — say, a tree downs a transmission line — the electricity that used to go through that line needs to be rerouted. This may overload other lines, creating what’s known as a cascade failure.

“This all happens really quickly and has very large downstream effects,” Liu says. “Millions of people will have instant blackouts.”

Even if the system can handle a single downed line, Liu notes that “the nuance is that there are now a lot of renewables, and renewables are less predictable. You can’t predict a gap in wind or sun. When such things happen, there’s suddenly not enough generation and too much demand. So the same kind of failure would happen, but on a larger and more uncontrollable scale.”

Renewables’ varying output has the added complication of causing voltage fluctuations. “We plug in our devices expecting a voltage of 110, but because of oscillations, you will never get exactly 110,” Liu says. “So even when you can deliver enough electricity, if you can’t deliver it at the specific voltage level that is required, that’s a problem.”

Liu and Ilić are building a model to predict how and when the grid might fail. Lacking access to privatized data, Liu runs her models with European industry data and test cases made available to universities. “I have a fake power grid that I run my experiments on,” she says. “You can take the same tool and run it on the real power grid.”

Liu’s model predicts cascade failures as they evolve. Supply from a wind generator, for example, might drop precipitously over the course of an hour. The model analyzes which substations and which households will be affected. “After we know we need to do something, this prediction tool can enable system operators to strategically intervene ahead of time,” Liu says.

Dictating price and power

Last year, Liu turned her attention to EVs, which provide a different kind of challenge than renewables.

In 2022, S&P Global reported that lawmakers argued that the U.S. Federal Energy Regulatory Commission’s (FERC) wholesale power rate structure was unfair for EV charging station operators.

In addition to operators paying by the kilowatt-hour, some also pay more for electricity during peak demand hours. Only a few EVs charging up during those hours could result in higher costs for the operator even if their overall energy use is low.

Anticipating how much power EVs will need is more complex than predicting energy needed for, say, heating and cooling. Unlike buildings, EVs move around, making it difficult to predict energy consumption at any given time. “If users don’t like the price at one charging station or how long the line is, they’ll go somewhere else,” Liu says. “Where to allocate EV chargers is a problem that a lot of people are dealing with right now.”

One approach would be for FERC to dictate to EV users when and where to charge and what price they’ll pay. To Liu, this isn’t an attractive option. “No one likes to be told what to do,” she says.

Liu is looking at optimizing a market-based solution that would be acceptable to top-level energy producers — wind and solar farms and nuclear plants — all the way down to the municipal aggregators that secure electricity at competitive rates and oversee distribution to the consumer.

Analyzing the location, movement, and behavior patterns of all the EVs driven daily in Boston and other major energy hubs, she notes, could help demand aggregators determine where to place EV chargers and how much to charge consumers, akin to Walmart deciding how much to mark up wholesale eggs in different markets.

Last year, Liu presented the work at MITEI’s annual research conference. This spring, Liu and Ilić are submitting a paper on the market optimization analysis to a journal of the Institute of Electrical and Electronics Engineers.

Liu has come to terms with her early introduction to attitudes toward STEM that struck her as markedly different from those in China. She says, “I think the (prep) school had a very strong ‘math is for nerds’ vibe, especially for girls. There was a ‘why are you giving yourself more work?’ kind of mentality. But over time, I just learned to disregard that.”

After graduation, Liu, the only undergraduate researcher in Ilić’s MIT Electric Energy Systems Group, plans to apply to fellowships and graduate programs in EECS, applied math, and operations research.

Based on her analysis, Liu says that the market could effectively determine the price and availability of charging stations. Offering incentives for EV owners to charge during the day instead of at night when demand is high could help avoid grid overload and prevent extra costs to operators. “People would still retain the ability to go to a different charging station if they chose to,” she says. “I’m arguing that this works.”

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