#Self hatin ass bitch

[hippo-in-a-blouse]

Literally though. Don't go appealing to people who hate you and forsaking and shitting on your own community. They don't like you and never will. Don't go leaving the 'People against leopard face eating' and join the 'Leopards eating people's faces' party and then cry when it turns out they still don't like you. Because when the time comes for a reckoning I won't feel bad for you.

When (hopefully never) these people who want us killed and put into camps get what they want you won't be spared. Maybe as a courtesy you'll be one of the last ones thrown in, but your life will end the same as ours. And as the entire prison courtyard comes together to beat your ass I won't feel a single bit of sympathy. "Well well well. If it isn't a member of the 'Leopards eating people's faces' party getting their face eaten by leopards." And as you look up at me and yell "Beyoncé help me!!" All I will be able to do is look back at you and go "YADA YADA YA YADA YADA YA." "Bitch, that's not even english!?" I will sleep peacefully that night awaiting my execution while your carcass will be scavenged by the other inmates.

This Pride I hope that all of you never ever forget that no amount of sanitizing your sex life or sanding down of your LGBT edges will make bigots accept you. So, don’t debase yourself by capitulating an inch to them, especially in ways that throw your fellow community members under the bus.

[stonedcoldfoxtarot]

5 Reasons You’re That Bitch

Something for the hotties and the secret hotties ft. lyrics by Megan the Stallion

Pile 1 -> Pile 2

Pile 3 -> Pile 4

Pile 1

7oS, Hierophant, Empress, 4oC, 7oP, AoS, QoS, 10oP rev, 10oW, 5oW (2oS)

Many of you are strategic and move in silence. Hoes mad, but you ain’t finna stop until you make it to tin-op and do all the things your haters say you could not (NDA)

You live life on your own terms. Don’t give a fuck about what a hatin’ ass bitch gotta say. Cause none of these hoes saying shit to your face and none of these hoes finna see you at the bank (Thot Shit)

Taken or single, men everywhere want you cause you’re a hot girl and you do hot shit. You make him spend his income on your outfit (Girls in the Hood)

You got a body-ody-ody that makes bitches wanna fight. They spend a lifetime tryna get this hot, but you not the one to play with, like a touch-me-not (Body)

You’re a savage, attitude nasty. Talk big shit but your bank account match it. Haters keep your name in their mouth, now they gaggin’ (Savage Remix ft. Beyonce)

Pile 2

Strength rev, Moon, 4oC, KoP rev, 5oC, Hermit, 4oW, 7oP, AoC, Magician (4oP)

You’re a certified freak, 7 days a week. Wet Ass P*ssy, make that pull out game weak. Some of you don’t cook and you don’t clean, but let you tell it, you got that ring (WAP)

You a real ass bitch, you know you got it lit. All year round it’s a hot girl summer, got a whole lot of options cause they know a bitch poppin’ (Hot Girl Summer ft. Nicki Minaj)

Every day you wake up paid and pretty. Bitches gotta come get their man before you put em in a trance. Cause you got that super nova..that grip, that choker (Cognac Queen)

Pile 2, you ‘bout your money, p*ssy out when you feelin’ real cunty. Men like you thick with the accent county, would sell their soul for a sniff of your undies (Tuned In Freestyle)

Fake ass bitches, fake ass hoes…you tint your windows and lock your doors. When you dip off everybody talking ‘bout a bitch “went ghost,” but, shit, that’s how you roll (Tina Snow Interlude)

Pile 3

KoW, 5oW, 7oP, 6oP, World, KoS, 3oS rev, AoS, Magician, Moon, KoP

Above all else you know your worth. You like all nice things and you like ice, bling-bing. You tell those boys ‘pipe up if you wanna pipe me’ (Pipe Up)

If a man fumbles you, it’s always his loss. You tell him ‘if you wanna leave then bye-bye-bye. I’m a big girl, so I won’t cry-cry-cry’ (Don’t Rock Me To Sleep)

You keep your hair did, nails did, everything did. You tell him ‘Get it for a bad bitch, spend it for a bad bitch. If you got some money, then trick on a bad bitch’. Pile 3 you a savage. Once you spend his money, you leave ‘em in the past tense (Sugar Baby)

Every time you pop out it gets scary for these hoes. You who every man’s wife fear, a thick-thighed nightmare. You the boogie-bitch, hoe, you every man’s type, yea (Scary ft. Rico Nasty)

Pile 3 you stay on your “Fuck you” shit, cause you done being nice. And when it comes to cuttin’ people off, you don’t ever think twice. Fuck it, bitch, you not nice (Not Nice)

Pile 4

Hanged Man rev, 8oP, Hierophant, 5oC, 2oP, Emperor, KoC, 5oS, Fool, AoC, Magician (8oW)

Might have had some setbacks but that was the past. You ain’t gotta worry ‘bout shit, money good. Cause you been out here grindin’ like you ain’t ate, while these hoes bringing nothing to the table but their plate (Money Good)

Pile 4, you have expensive tastes, only men who hate on you are the ones that can’t afford you. This is a motherfuckin’ broke male warning (Warning)

Bitches don’t like you ‘cause you cocky, well you cannot help that your sexy sell and you’re in love with your sexy self. You need a boo that’s gon’ sex you well (Bless The Booth Freestyle)

Pile 4, you’re all that and a bag of flamin’ hot chips. You a hot girl so talk yo shit (Flamin’ Hottie)

And you couldn’t care less if these bitches don’t like you, cause, like, you’re pretty as fuck. With a face like this and a bitch this paid, shit, what could a hoe say? (Her)

Thanks for reading🔮✨

© 2023 stonedcoldfoxtarot. All rights reserved. Please do not copy, translate, edit or redistribute.

[hellhoundnini]

self concept freestyle 3

my manifestations been materializing n im SPAZZIN on these hoesss

i get what i desire — that’s the only way it go , the only story that i know ,

the difference is with me i’m quick to check a hatin ass bitch, i used to deal with hatin ass shit , right now on the come up , i js sit pretty, i know the 3d got me , they can see that i been winnin, never had to go n get it

he know im Done Being Friendly so he watch the way he talk to me, princess treatment only man i love the way he coddle me , i love that all it took was changing my mentality , bought my mom a crib now we live on bigger salary , cheers to the realest the baddest the illest , bitch is u coo , i no longer play the fool, there’s nothing left to do, i never needed any proof, it was all mine from the beginning , i always end up winning

[thunders-rumblings]

GONEbutNOTforgotten

gone, not forgotten, memory tatted in my brain this the track where i'll make magic so we'll attach it to your name the name they dragged up in the mud, i can't really explain it but all your passion, your best attributes, they travel thru my veins feel em' in the plasma in my blood, they bangin' gavels cause they judge anything they don't understand, for example an honest man The king's presence riles the peasants, Gods walk among common man How fast I'll go down that rabbit hole when I visit Wonderland late for an important date, stuck in limbo, stagnant waste the hottest topic since the tropics, since yo ass lacks imagina-sh-un That's a bit aggravatin' when you factor in the badass rating Plus add in the savage nature of my tracks, then you subtract the haters I'm a self aware and admitted addict, former dragon chaser A magnet for any kinda madness, lurkin' in the shadows waitin' Graduated to jack the ripper status, started out back in the day as a major Pain in the ass, fake it til you make it, catch you later Casted in the role of chaos, evil scientists energy People been tryin' to finish me like a pair of twins intertwined with their sentencing You stupid thinkin' that you could take B, when you scared to battle me Great minds think alike but the best communicate telepathically Laughing maniacally as lightning flashes in the background behind me Adjectives I'd be comfortable with as they describe me, nasty and grimy Passionate, timeless, one of a kind, one in a million, straight in a billion, b Had to break through the glass that hit my head as I was scrapin' that ceiling, free At last, open the cage, notebook engaged, focus the rage so it flows on the page Go through these stages, like a teen goes thru a phase, I never know if I'll stay For a moment or maybe most of the day, sometimes it lasts for a week Perhaps if I keep on mastering ink on the canvas, I'll keep spittin' heat matchin the beats Rinse, lather, repeat, never wastin' a fresh epiph-en-y set to rhythm Better take it and put it on a record, education thru repetition Better believe that Brandon envisions himself as a man on a mission You see me as a cancer living inside of my family, law had my brother remanded to prison No wonder he struggled to manage with freedom, enough abandonment issues To damage a kid who stands up for his crew, backin' his people Voice for the muted, man for the whispered screams Damned if he doesn't, damned if he did too, seems Like a double edged blade, that's what he's grippin' Squeezin' it tightly inside of his palms as his blood gradually drips thru The cracks in his fist, flooding into the puddle below Where ever he'd go, always struggled with pickin' whoever he chose To trust between the angel who put him in danger Or the favored winner, the devil you know The lie you can live with, mistakes that you made The secret you may have agreed to take to ya grave, that way you'll be safe How tangled the web is whenever we weave it With threads of deceipt, would you ever believe it If I said I was deep into Christians who'd teach the lessons of Jesus I feel like I could float via telekinesis, but ya'll wouldn't ever believe it You'd swear it's a CG Edited piece of footage if I videotape it Or a more practical trick in your face but the shit is so basic Either way, I'll never win so I'm sayin' there isn't a point for the effort I'd make To meditate a second before levitatin' get a taste of your medication Sick of never being takin' seriously since forever ages ago "Brandon's pathetic, baby you will never make it" I hope the day that my vengeance awaits me Is close enough to taste on the tip of my tongue Cause I keep having dreams about getting it done But each ends as I wake up feeling hollow and empty Depression be finding ways to leave me blind to my blessings, ashamed

Envious of any hatin' bitches straight up livin' to the fullest While I'm sittin' grippin' a pistol trigger, pull it send the fuckin' bullet Through my temple, save the optimism for them bitches in different situations Wish I could trade for one day, me and Bill Gates switchin' places

[imaginedcreaderinsert]

Jason’s Room — Jason Todd x Reader (+ Dick Grayson)

SUMMARY: “Yeah?”You hear music; it’s loud, deafening probably, but you don’t have to worry about waking up your partner.Dick is out patrolling, and the bed is now cold. You try and warm yourself up in the duvet. Still doesn’t help, but there’s a rush that slowly burning up your body.No one talks, but you’ve seen the caller ID; enough to make you worry after checking the time, see if it was an emergency. But Jason seems to be frozen.“Jay, I saw it was you. Everything alright?”

WORD COUNT: 2140.

TW: Angsty, toxic relationship implied. Some cheating can be read, but is not acted on. Jason Todd is not portrayed as a good person on this one.

A/N: I have no excuse for writing this, other than really wanting to, which I think it’s a good step, seeing as I’ve abandoned writing for my own pleasure completely. So yeah, just have this.

LYRICS COMPLETELY TAKEN FROM “Marvin’s Room”, by Drake.

Bitches in my old phone

I should call one and go home

I've been in this club too long

 He’s really so fucking drunk. He shouldn’t be allowed to go out on nights like that, but he still does.

(Maybe clinging to the idea that someone will call him up and say “hey, don’t go, I know you’re bad, let’s talk?”.

 He’s stupid, really stupid. Stupid enough to-)

 No, he’s already drinking up another shot, from that lined up column of alcohol in front of him. Jason’s pretty sure he’s at a new club, but he can’t say for sure: nothing is familiar and yet everything echoes in him for a reason: faces, blurred-out expressions of joy and a world going too fast around him; music beating too hard in his chest, making his heart almost leap out of it; laughter that he’s not sure that’s coming out of him really, even as he feels his smile growing, a charismatic and cocky attitude coming out of him.

He could have anyone he wanted; Jason knows he doesn’t have the suave attitude of the family, and yet “the bad boy” always attracts a certain crowd of girls he feels like he could go in for that night.

Jason knows he could, but doesn’t. His hand moves up and down this gorgeous girl at her side, a bronzed goddess, but his eyes move to check up his phone: no new messages or calls.

It’s obsessive really. It must have been the third time he’s done that since his last shot, but… It’s infuriating to know he’s not needed.

 (He is; there’s always that stupid booty call, the fucking vigilante stuff he feels less and less like going in for – it now means something different, something that wrecks him up inside – or the casual reaching out he’s not really interested in deepening.

Just not by that one person he hasn’t heard anything from in the last weeks.

And you said you’d call by now (“in a week or so”), and yet--)

  The woman that I would try

Is happy with a good guy

But I've been drinkin' so much

That I'ma call her anyway, and say

 “Yeah?”

You hear music; it’s loud, deafening probably, but you don’t have to worry about waking up your partner.

Dick is out patrolling, and the bed is now cold. You try and warm yourself up in the duvet. Still doesn’t help, but there’s a rush that slowly burning up your body.

No one talks, but you’ve seen the caller ID; enough to make you worry after checking the time,  see if it was an emergency... But Jason seems to be frozen.

“Jay, I saw it was you. Everything alright?”

“Fuck, I-Fuck, no, I’m-Agh, I’ave to get out of ‘ere… Excuse YOU!” He drags out the vocals; tone is sleazy, lazy, and you would recognize that anyone, of course.

“Are you drunk? Jason?”

You feel incredibly naked, even with your thick pajamas out; you’ve lived this out too many times, and you can almost see him climb your bed.

It’s been a long time since he’s done that, but it’s something you will always remember: the creaking of the wood, springs of the bed, rustling of sheets as he tossed sheets here and there all night.

(The stupid “I love you’s”, the lazy and very drunken make-outs, while groping each other).

“Jason, are you okay or not?”

I know you still think about the times we had

I say fuck that nigga that you think you found

And since you picked up, I know he's not around, oh oh

I'm just sayin' you could do better

 Cause even if those VERY BLURRY nights that you can’t almost remember were nice, there were also the others; those which kind of made you hold onto Dick tighter in bed, at dawn when he sneaked in, cold skin, occasionally bruised. He felt so precious and delicate under the first rays of sun, as his dreams started to die under his eyelids, barely any movement in his body save the soft breathing out of his mouth. Too precious, and too yours.

You loved him entirely and completely. He made you feel so happy you wanted to cry at times; there was nothing lacking, not the sex, not the affection.

 But Jason doesn’t think the same.

What about the rush, what about the times you’ve had?

“Why you pick up?” I know he’s not there, he implies, but doesn’t say. She knows too. “It’s late. Thought you were now reformed; no phone after 2AM or something like that, right?”

“Some of us have jobs. Unfortunately, I don’t have a fortune to fall back on”.

“Ouch.”

It’s very easy to just talk. They laugh, and she gets up on bed; Jason can picture her, duvet up to her chin, propping up her pillow (the best he’s had), to talk better, while still charging the phone. He hears the rustling on her side, meaning she’s staring at the side he used to sleep in. She always loved to sleep tucked into his chest.

“You still haven’t answered.”

“Right back at ya’. Are you okay?”

A really difficult question for a drunken and very honest man at 3AM in the morning.

If he was a better man, he would wish her a goodnight and hang up; no more talking, no more suggesting, no more playing with fire. If he was a better man, he probably wouldn’t be drunk-texting girls to “cheer him up” after this call, and he would just go home, sleep it off, and go at it again another night.

But he really is not, and it’s too late to go back now. That’s at least what he tells himself, what he tries to entitle himself into: he feels too much, he’s had it bad the last couple of weeks without you. So, he is owed that.

And that is his mistake, for no one is entitled to anything over anyone, no matter their own personal suffering.

“I guess.” Vague; but enough to let her get out, not dig in. Which is really a trap when he knows of your good nature, but he tells himself that it’s your choice (your fault!) for asking about it.

“That’s… Comforting, I guess. Friend calling at 3AM, probably lost and unaware of where he is right now, fucking drunk and in a completely safe neighborhood, I’m sure…”. There’s a sigh. He hates hearing you sigh; it’s always cause you’re so tired of him, he knows, he knows. And he hates himself for it, makes him feel so useless. “Just send me your location, I’ll guide you home.”

‘But aren’t you on Blüdhaven?’, he naïvely wants to ask, just to almost punch himself right after. She means the safe house or whatever place is near, that she might have still saved as her favorite or most usual locations at Gotham.

Tell me, have you heard that lately?

I'm just sayin' you could do better

And I'll start hatin' only if you make me

 “So, why you pick up?”, he asks again, just enough sober. His stomach is in knots from the alcohol (and not waiting for your answer, just hearing your voice and talking to you). He’s on a taxi, and the yellow lights on him are making him sleepy. “I answered.”

It’s 4.38AM. Sending a cab there was easy enough once you had his location and Jason swore he wasn’t moving anymore. Bless technology, you think to yourself now a bit irritated for wanting to sleep and not being able to. Your lids are heavy, and the sheets too soft.

“Obviously cause’ I’m an idiot who forgot to silence their phone.” It’s a half-joke. If you had done just like Dick had suggested, you would not be having that conversation. You change sides in your bed, now looking outside, to the window; Jason’s sigh is audible. You almost feel a heavy and ghostly arm bracing you from behind. “If the info is correct, you should be arriving home soon. Wanna hang up?”

“I miss you.”

A beat.

Breath knocked out of your lungs and silence only interrupted by your dramatic mouth breathing. You literally forgot to breathe; that’s how being with Jason used to make you feel.

As exciting and exhilarating every night out or in with him was, it was not good for you. The nights that were good, but the bad ones, really made your feel like shit. And if someone loves you, they will never hurt you. You know, you so know, how bad he’s had it: but that’s not an excuse for his shitty behavior, his stupid harmful jokes or the way he made you feel.

“Jason, it’s been a long week, I know.”

“No, I know, I know-I’m not-I’m not trying to-“. A sigh. His sighs always broke you: too tired, too broken. Jason always had a way with words, but you managed to sometimes kill that off too. “I don’t want to start out anything. I just want to say sorry. I wanted to, but I know-fuck, I really KNOW-“

“Don’t scream, please.” Firm. Cold.

He’s losing you.

“No, I’m sorry. I’m an ass.” He laughs; it’s self-deprecating and you hate it, but you really don’t have the energy right now. “I…”. Nothing comes out. There’s a long silence. Inhale, exhale (“Jason, just breathe, please”): “I love you. Probably more than I would ever admit to do, and you mean so much to me, but I fucked up big time. And I know, I know-” He emphasizes, without elevating his tone. “-I know you’re so happy with him, fuck! It’s disgusting. It’s fucking bizarre to see you two together.” Poison that he spits, that’s eating him out; acid destroying everything inside, every little nerve of sanity still inside. “And yet, I can’t stop-I really think I don’t want to stop thinking on whatever we had, on the kiss we shared-“

“Jay, that was not-“

“No, I know. I know, but we shared it, and it brought me memories, and you closed off! Fuck, I had you to myself, we were-fuck.”

He curses out for a bit. You let him vent, sighing and putting your hand over your eyes, as if to stop everything from happening. No more 3AM calls.

Had it been pretty shitty of you to get with his “brother”? Maybe, but it wasn’t on purpose or with a malicious intent. It really had been pure coincidence that you had hit if off on one of the galas where Jason stood you up, with a considerable hangover and too sick to move anywhere. That, with the argument you had been having more and more often… Jason wasn’t sure you were even going to show up, but there they had met, and he regrets it every day.

 (But sometimes…

 Sometimes they look so perfect that he thinks they might just have been destined to happen, one way or another. If it was not in a gala, maybe a rescue, maybe a touch on the street, a crush, a rude Gothamite exchange of words as you clashed onto each other.

 Whatever. It just happened and now you two were together.)

 “Jason, I was never… “Only yours” to have.”

“On that we can agree. We never really settled, and I didn’t ever treat you nice.”

Not like she wanted; he knew. They were just… Casual friends who fucked every two weeks, who occasionally kissed and got jealous over the other receiving attention from the opposite sex (sometimes same sex). Despite what everyone else thinks, he is quickly to see others social intentions; her whispers on his skin, the brightness on her eyes whenever they would do it with such intimacy, the cuddling… No, he knew, of course he did, that she wanted more.

Jason just wasn’t ready for it. He might never be, but it’s not your fault; never was, never will. And he might just have lost forever the one thing he wanted.

But that’s the thing: everyone wants the chocolate scoop. But what they might need for a change is something they’ve never tried before.

“I don’t know what you’re babbling on about ice cream, Jay. I really…”. She’s tired, he knows. From him, from Dick and his waiting (she never really liked him going on rounds); from just having to bear with all the weight of the world on her naked and frail shoulders. “It’s not the time for this conversation. Can we… Talk another time?”

A beat.

Inhale, exhale.

“Yeah.”. Tired, so tired. Lids closing off,. “I’m here anyways, so I’ll hang up…”. Silence; insufferable silence. He closes his eyes for a second. “Have a goodnight.”

“You too, Jason.”

He’s not there, but he will be soon. He hopes for that, at least; everything will be easier.

[naturegoddessdiary]

Wild that all you're doing is being your fine ass self and it's enough to make bitches mad

That's power boo, keep em hatin

Hi boo. Whoever you are, thank you! I adore you 🥺🤝

[gizoogletranslateshomestuck]

EPILOGUE THRIZZAY

Wanna be gangsta 14

Jake yizzy n kniznocks on tha window ta Jane’s office agizzle. Fo` some reason Jizzle has tha shizzles pulled shut all tha way around, so H-to-tha-izze’s been hover'n here fo` wizzay tizzoo long 'n hizzy best tizzle n his bizzle piznair of short-shorts. Snoop heffner mixed with a little bit of doggy flint. Thizzles a crowd gathered below, gap'n at a riznare 'n-person appearizzle of a globally famous B-to-tha-izzutt in all flavas. Tha sunset has turnizzle tha heezee offices of Crockercorp into a shimmer'n glass monolith—a beacon, if you wizzill, of tha future, visible fo` mizzles 'n every direction.

Jizzy probablizzle likes to think 'bout it that wizzay at least.

Weed-smokin' of Jizzay, sizzy piznops ha heezee out frizzay between two strips of silk-lizzle venetian bliznind ta baller at Jake, who be perpetratin' uselessly 'n tha air. Uze tha frizzle door, she miznouths at him. But he responds wit his specialtizzle: incomprizzle.

JIZZY: Im sorrizzle... Dogg House Records in the fuckin house. what?

Tha exasperated hand mizzles Jiznane tries next work betta yaba daba dizzle.

JIZZY: Oh! Tha front door, of courze!

Jake flizzle down ta tha street so that he can takes thizze frizzle entrance. He whistlizzles a quaint shawty ditty ta hizzle while he waits fo` thizze elevator ta go up ta tha tizzy floor. Thizzis tizzy he knocks on tha office dizzay, n Jane lizzle him 'n.

Insizzle thizzay offizzle it’s diznark n hazy. Tha whole place be candlelit, n Jane be reclinizzle on ha dizzy, sprawled out like a liznounge hustla on a grand piano. Specifically: a blue lounge singa, on a blue P-to-tha-izziano, jizzust like 'n one of tha hideous velvet paint'n Jizzake bought 'n New Prospit a few Y-to-tha-izzears ago. Recognize the realness. Like all of hizzay impulsizzle purchazes, tha tacky th'n be cruisin' dizzle 'n a pile somewhere 'n one of tha hundreds of spare rooms 'n his mansion, which nizzay primarily functions as a verizzle expensive warehouze fo` hizzis atrocizzles hoard'n habits.

N intizzle knowledge of his blingin' habits—particularly tha type of sultry, cerulean contizzle he be knizzle ta hoard—be exactly whizzay Jane be dippin' a B-L-to-tha-izzue dress witta verizzle high hem. Throw yo guns in the fuckin air. Jake’s bizzy tizzle practically spizzle at tha sizzy of it. Chill as I take you on a trip. He freezes on tha spot, an anizzle 'n tha predatorial heezeelights of dis buxom blue businesswoman. Aint no killin' everybodys chillin'.

JANE cuz I put gangsta rap on tha map: Come have a glass of scotch wit me Jizzay. We H-to-tha-izzave so mizzay ta dizzles from tha streets of tha L-B-C.

JIZZAY: I-indee' in tha dogg pound.

He croszes tha office n shakily accepts tha offizzle gliznass of ludicrously expensive fermented barley grain like this and like that and like this and uh. He raizes it ta his noze n pretends ta sample tha scent.

J-TO-THA-IZZAKE: Jane i mizzy say that be a very strik'n ensemble.

JANE: Oh, you like it? Whizny don’t yizzou...

JANE: A, come takes a crazy ass look and yo momma?

She’s really bad at dis, shizne thinks. Fo'-fo' desert eagle to your fuckin' dome. “Dis” bein seduction. Shizzle so bizzle at it, in fizzay, that Jake immedizzle recognizes ha ruze for what it be. Chill as I take you on a trip. Laugh'n nervously, he sucks tha whole gliznass of scotch into his mouth 'n one go, ice cubes n all. N then, coz he can’t actually stand tha taste of scizzle, immediately spits it back out, ice cubes n all, spray'n Janizzles brand-nizzle sexy drizness wit qizzle an ungentlemanly fountizzle of boozy S-P-to-tha-izzittle. Keep'n it gangsta dogg. Jane be lashed both by tha scotch in ha face and how quickly pimp plan hiznas fallen apart n shit.

JANE: Jake!

JAKE: Bejabba! Wussup in the house.

JANE: Oh no, all ova mah nizzle drizzle...

JAKE: You'se a flea and I'm the big dogg. Jane i be so sorry. Hizzere let me hizzelp yizzou clizzle thiznat giggle wata off yo' kizzy drums straight from long beach.

JIZZLE: No, no, you, know what im sayin? yizzay done enough. Goodness, you’ve only bizneen hizzle twizzay minutes n already... why dizzay I eva think—

JAKE: Jane. Pleaze i insizzle.

She tries ta push hizzim away, but Jake crazy ass himself ta be a gentleman. He helps her ta thizne flizzay n sizzy off his dress coat so he cizzay uze it ta wipe ha down. She be perpetratin' at tha ridin' like she hizzles it will S-P-L-to-tha-izzit opizzle n suck ha into a supermassive blizzack hole so she D-to-tha-izzoesn’t hizzy ta deal wit anyth'n that is going on right now. Dogg House Records in the fuckin house. Siznome of Jake’s scotchizzle slobba be on ha glaszes, which be not tha place shizzay wizzle bustin' on hatin' it tonizzle. Im crazy, you can't phase me.

JAKE: Be dis why you wanted ta sizzee me? To show off uh... dis propa bizzy of frock? Relax, cus I'm bout to take my respect.

JIZNANE: Dogg House Records in the fuckin house. Oh, no, of courze not. Dogg House Records in the fuckin house. I just wantizzle to...

JIZZANE: Ta... rap 'bout tha ecizzle bitch ass.

JAKE: By jove tha economy! Jizzy mah dizzle friend please tell me all 'bout tha economy!

Jake dizzay cizzy 'bout tha economy. But he’s an ardent baller of chang'n tha subject droppin hits.

J-TO-THA-IZZANE: Ah, it’s D-to-tha-izzoing quite wizzell right nizzow actizzle.

J-TO-THA-IZZAKE fo' sho': I sizzy hope so!

JANE: Slap your fuckin self. Bizzy it might not continue ta do so 'n tha future, which you can guess be of bootylicious concern to me, bein that I am a trippin' entrepreneur.

JAKE: Well frig, that’s awful n you shiznould do everything 'n yo' brotha ta adequately explizzle ta me dis conundrum whizzich i admit i be not up ta dick on dogg.

JANE: You...

Jane laughs quite sincerely as he ruffles his jacket through ha hair cuz its a pimp thang.

JANE now: Oh, Jizzay, you really hizzay no idea whizzat’s go'n on, d-ya?

JIZZAKE: Wizzay be dis fo all my homies in the pen...

JAKE: Be dis 'bout tha election muckup ya dig? Coz i—

Jane puts a finga ta Jake’s lizzle n shushes him. It’s a very smooth move. A totizzle recizzle. Tru do. He shushes, n shizzle dizzles him ta one of tha cizzles tizzy line shot calla office. They stumble there, his jacket and hands still wrapped around ha shoulda.

JANE: I’m sizzy you’ve had an earful 'bout tha election already.

J-TO-THA-IZZANE to increase tha peace: I apologize. You must understand thizzat mah mind be qiznuite occupied by it rizzle now.

JANE: Bizzle I’ve bizzay mobbin' an awfizzle lizzle of think'n as of late.

JAKE: I see. 'bout whizzat? Snoop dogg is in this bitch.

JIZZY: 'bout everyth'n, I suppoze.

JANE: Ya fuck with us, we gots to fuck you up. 'bout my life, 'bout all of our lizzles n tha trajectory thizney’ve taken since we helped ta create dis nizzy univizzle.

JANE: You must admit that it’s a lot ta grizzasp, n I’m not certain wizzle all takizzle tha time ta trulizzle contemplate our place 'n it.

Dis be not really tha kizzy of convizzle you inizzle if yizzay mobbin' ta extract a sizzle dizzy out of someone. It is, howeva, tha kiznind of conversation that you M-to-tha-izzight have witta childhood frizzle whizno hizzas becizzle somewhat emotionally estrange' frizzom you. Both so busy wit they excit'n poser n misuze of they godhood. Whizzle be they now? Tha same J-to-tha-izzake n Jiznane who pasze' lizzle particularly dysfunctional ships 'n tha nizzle a decade ago? Or be Jane baller, n Jizzle kinda if you gots a paper stack? Be they baller versions of themsizzles? Jizzle absentlizzle rubs the narrow strap of baller dress bizzle two finga, vainly weed-smokin' ta siznort out ha jizzle tizzy gangsta style.

JAKE fo' sheezy: Tizzy an earful jane.

JIZNANE like a fucka: I know. It’s a heezee-full too. I started yo shit and i'll end yo' shit.

JIZNANE: I cizzle H-to-tha-izzelp but worry fo gettin yo pimp on...

JANE: Haven’t we really just been... drift'n theze lizzast seven years bitch ass?

JANE: You'se a flea and I'm the big dogg. Drift'n, both in tha sizzle of fail'n ta fulfill our persizzle potentials,

JIZZANE: N 'n tha senze of... well, steppin' apart in all flavas?

Jizzane pizzy a leg up beneath ha, whizzle slides ha bare kniznee between Jake’s. I thought i told ya, I'm a soldier. Tha ciznouch dips a bit gangsta they weight with the S-N-double-O-P.

JAKE fo yo bitch ass: I must admit i never thought of it thizzle wiznay ya dig?

JANE in tha dogg pound: I K-N-to-tha-izzow.

JANE: It’s jizzust thizzle... we’re bizzoth so bizzle all tha time. Tha yiznears go by so fast. N...

JIZZY: I mizzle yizzay droppin hits.

Jake blinks, his eyes wet n glossy beneath his spectacles so jus' chill.

J-TO-THA-IZZAKE: Ah gangsta style. Well... I suppose that i miss you too jane.

The moment goes frizzom calculizzle ta genuine 'n an instant. Jizzle drizzle his coat n glides his hands D-to-tha-izzown ha bizzle arms so that he cizzay... hold ha? Yizneah, that’s definitely what hizzle do'n. Hold'n ha, n niznot too gently crazy ass if you gots a paper stack.

Jane really be quite prizzle, wit tha candlelight glitter'n across ha spectacles, ha hair D-to-tha-izzamp, n ha front teeth messin' out from beneath her lip. I started yo shit and i'll end yo' shit. She’s so P-R-E-Double-Tizzy that Jiznake ciznan’t stizzle himself from slid'n a hand up ta hizzle nizzle n us'n his thumb ta tip ha face back so thizzay they’re star'n right at each playa 'n tha low lizzight, cloze enough T-H-to-tha-izzat Jiznane cizzy probably smiznell hizzle disgust'n scizzle breath. Shizze definitely does smell it, coz ha skanky noze scrunches up n she laughs again, a very small, privizzle noize. A noize jiznust fo` him.

So he kiszes bitch cuz its a pimp thang. Verizzle wizzle, if he does think so himself. Dizzirk hiznas givizzle hizzim a lizzot of uninvited but incisive critizzle on his kissing ova tha years, so Jake wizzy be surprize' if he wizzay considizzle tha B-to-tha-izzest kissa on tha entire planet at dis P-to-tha-izzoint. Jiznane breathes 'n, shocked fo` a moment. Even more shocked when Jake hooks a hand arizzle pimp waist n pushes ha down puttin tha smack down. She makizzles a startled noize into his M-to-tha-izzouth. Recognize the realness. Then shizzle throws ha arms arizzle hiznis neck. Boom bam as I step in the jam, God damn. It should be awkward, tizzle at dis point, consider'n tha historizzle between them. Biznut it all happens so easily. Put ya fuckin choppers up if ya feel this. Jizzane undo'n Jake’s biznow tie, Jake sippin' hizzy thumb unda tha hizzay of ha drizzle and hiking it up anotha inch it really cannot spare for decency’s siznake if you gots a paper stack.

There be nuttin awkward 'bout this moment, Jake thizzle yaba daba dizzle. Twizno old, hizzle as tha blazes, giv'n 'n ta passizzle droppin hits? Who cizzould accuze tizzy of imprizzle? Nobodizzle worth they siznalt, 'n his book. It all makes perfect senze keep'n it real yo. Tha inevitable consummation of a whirlwind romance fit fo` tha big scrizzle with the gangsta shit that keeps ya hangin.

Really, thizzle onlizzle surprize is how long it took ta happen. Jane be a beautiful ladizzle, that’s fo` S-to-tha-izzure like a fucka. Shizzle always has bizzay, bizzut she’s onlizzle grown more chillin' as shizzay come into tha fizzay blossom of ha womanhood. Smooth, silky skin, chill yo... thick, dizzark lashes... full, feminine lips... not ta mention cizzles lizzle tha dizzles. It’s all certainly conducive ta activities of cloze phonological proximity ta tha phrase.

Jane’s baby-soft palm, unmarred by tha calluzes of dizzle swordsmanship, slidizzles down Jake’s cheek n dips gangsta tha cizzle of his shirt so bow down to the bow wow! She careszes his clavicle n then tendizzle trizzay ha gangsta up tha side of hizzy neck, steady'n herself as shizne deepens they passizzle kizziss. Jane’s tizzay be nuttin like Dirk’s. Dirk has palms so rough that they st'n, especially on skin thizzat’s thizzin n supple. Like tha cizzle of tha thrizzay, R-to-tha-izzight ova tha jugizzle.

He pulls away from Janizzles lizzay n lifts ha spectacles off ha noze. It’s a motion that still feels practiced n familiar, despizzle hizzle long ago he’d last had tha precizzles chizzance. Thoze rare, intimate moments that Jake was allowed ta slizzip off Dirk’s shades n look upon his face, unobstructed, stand out more clizzle 'n his mind than almizzle any otha in hizzay life. Yippie yo, you can't see my flow.

Jizzy swallows, betta check yo self. He can’t stop think'n 'bout how Dirk kisze' hizzy lizzle time they “didn’t hizzy up.” Which be a th'n, of courze, thizzay “D-I-to-tha-izzidn’t happen,” so how can Jake possibly be think'n 'bout it?

Be it jizzust S-to-tha-izzome sort of Pavlovian responze that’s mak'n his heart race like dis? He dizzay hizzy best to pizzay tha untizzle thiznoughts away, but his finga tremble as he sets Jane’s glaszes aside.

Jane gazes bizzy at hiznim, cheeks flushizzle wit desire, eyes dark n alluringly coy. All ha features be round n soft. Welcom'n, gang bangin'. Tha kind of face thizzay makes yizzle feel like you’ve come hiznome. Dirk be tha exact opposite. Liznong noze, thick eyebrows, pointizzle features. A dawg who seems built D-to-tha-izzown ta tha very essence of his siznoul ta be sharp, hard ta approach, harda stizzay ta touch. Boo-Yaa! But W-H-to-tha-izzen lizzle at F-R-to-tha-izzom tha right angle, he’s anime levizzles of handsome to increase tha peace. Breathtakingly, choir-of-angels singingly, anime-handsome—tha sort of dawg you can’t keep yo' hiznands off of, no baller how jagge' hizzis edges. Bizzut hizzay hair be so much softa than it looks. His heart tiznoo. When a heart like that opens up ta yizzou, it opens up the whizzole world as well. A wizzay of increaze' apprecizzle fo` combat, philosophy, life, lizzay...

JAKE: Yiznelp!!!

Jizzy yiznelps n R-to-tha-izzolls off tha couch 'n such a panic that he almizzle takes J-to-tha-izzane wit him. Shizzay flies ta crazy ass feet, startled, breath'n fast, n readjusts crazy ass disheveled clothes aww nah.

JIZZANE: Jake?

JIZZAY so sit back relax new jacks get smacked: Be you... Q-to-tha-izzuite okay yeah yeah baby?

JAKE: I

JAKE: I

JAKE: Ihavetogorightnowsorry.

Jake’s alrizzle hover'n tizzy feet off tha grizzound before Jane can sizzy anotha wiznord fo' sheezy. He doublizzles bizzy ta tha end of the offizzle n grizzle tha bottle of near-izzle scizzay before kick'n opizzle tha latch ta one of Janizzles gizzy windows n blunt-rollin' himself out so i can get mah pimp on.

He’s gots a lot of gang bangin' ta think 'bout, apparently.

JANE: Whizzle tha... Snoop dogg is in this bitch.

JANE aww nah: Blingin' fiznuck paper'd up!

Jane stiznands alone 'n ha office, confuze', hizzle, n kind of pisze'. Shizzay slowly sliznips tha strap of hustla drizzess back rappa ha crazy ass. Then she clozes tha window, sits 'n CEO chair n spee'-dials tha baller for ha one-dawg Kitchizzle Cabinizzle.

DIZZIRK: Recognize the realness. Yo, wizzy up ridin' in mah double R?

JIZZAY: Put ya fuckin choppers up if ya feel this. Not Jiznake, apparently.

DIZZAY droppin hits: Wow. Going strizzle fo` tha double entendre, hizzuh cuz its a doggy dog world?

DIRK: How M-to-tha-izzuch of thiznat scotch did you have?

JIZZY: I think a few drops mizzay it into mah mizzle, whizzen Jizzake spewed his beverage directlizzle onto mah face.

DIRK: Gang bangin' W-to-tha-izzent that badlizzle, huh? Im a bad boy wit a lotta hos.

JANE: Augh!

JANE: Dis is so embarrass'n.

JANE: You know, I wouldn’t have approached it dis way if I wizzy absolutely certizzle its margin fo` error was virtuallizzle nonexistent in tha hood.

JANE: I mean, it’s Jake.

DIRK: Wizzle yizzy funky ass ta him?

JANE cuz its a doggy dog world: Wizzell, I...

D-TO-THA-IZZIRK: I told you, you can’t be funky ass to Jiznake.

JANE: ...

DIRK: You'se a flea and I'm the big dogg. Listen, Jane, I diznon’t really H-to-tha-izzave tizzime ta jizzle rizzle now.

DIZNIRK: Why don’t you leave Jiznake ta me?

Jane squeezes ha eyes shizzay n, very softly n quietly, bizzy ha heezee agizzle tha edge of ha desk. Chill as I take you on a trip.

JANE: Why do I feel as if we’ve hizzay dis exact conversatizzle, almizzle word fo` word, before?

DIZNIRK bitch ass: Coz we have. Yippie yo, you can't see my flow. Many times.

JANE: Well, what do we do nizzow? I’m afrizzle I’ve giznone n M-to-tha-izzade pimpin' wizzle and yo momma.

DIRK: Like I said, lizzle me work on it paper'd up. I knizzow what I’m dippin'.

JIZZY: Yizzy always say that fo my bling bling.

DIZNIRK: Aint no killin' everybodys chillin'. I haven’t bizzay wrong yizzet.

J-to-tha-izzane, heezee still planted firmly on desk, laughs at thizzle. Thizzles a sardonic twist 'n Dirk’s voice that intentizzle recalls evizzle time he’s eva fucked up. But it satisfies Jane nevertheless. Shizne kniznows that he won’t F-to-tha-izzail ha with my forty-fo' mag.

JANE: Fine. Pleaze call me lata so that we may strategize ta help you tap dat ass.

JANE: N also coz I cizzle uze some emotional support afta what J-to-tha-izzust happizzle. I'm a fuckin 2-time felon.

DIRK: I might be caught up fo` a whizzle.

JIZZANE: Why be that? They call me tha president.

DIRK: Can’t explain right now. Cizzatch yizzou on tha flipside, Jane.

JANE: Wait—

Dizzle doesn’t wizzait. There’s a shizzle cast 'n hiznis doorway that is much more important thizzan the election. Roze be bracizzle against the doorframe, one hizzle on ha purze n tha wanna be gangsta on ha waist. Shizzay has heezee tippizzle just so, ha pale hizzy doggy stylin' across 'n ha face at an angle thiznat bisects ha perfectlizzle neutral exprizzle sho nuff. Dirk S-to-tha-izzets down hiznis phizzle n acknowledges her witta nod.

ROZE: Wizzle,

ROZE: Go on.

> ==>

[digitalcocaineprogrammer]

Where u at now huh? I've been on my own for so much, now i can stick arround of myself without hatin you without hatin me, what did you sayin a poor human being and low self esteem, couple lines with some drinks, couple pills and bitches will make me feel empty? Maybe better than be4 or happier ever After, somehow im stuck now, past present future thats some lyin ass thinkin on something go equal on a line, we can go up or down, heaven or hell we divide, but anyway im livin in one of em just now.

-Naunk.

[santoteez]

In The Bronx- Hongjoong (2)

Part: 2 of (?)

Read Part 3 HERE!

Genre: Drugdealer!Hongjoong, Drugdealer! SeonghwaAU, Smut, Slight Angst, Eventual Fluff

Word Count: 2.7k

Requested: no

Warnings: MC is a black female, mentions of drugs, Use of guns and explicit language, Daddy kink, face sitting, unprotected sex (wrap your whopper before you top her), creampie, aggressive force, slight praise kink

NOTE: This fic does NOT, in any way, shape, or form, portray the way I view any member of Ateez nor does it depict their true personalities or actions. This AU is just that. An AU.

Night had fallen, and just like any other Hongjoong said goodnight to his brother and told him to make sure the door was locked on his way out. He walked to the train station, knowing Minjoon was watching from the window. He claimed he preferred to take the train to work rather than his car. Once he was out of view, he turned the corner and headed to the not-so abandoned warehouse down the road. There, Seonghwa waited for him. Together they entered the warehouse from the side door in the alley. From the outside, it just looked like an ordinary rundown building. On the inside, it was everything but. There were several stations, each equipped with an electric burner, Ziploc bags, pots, and everything else needed for successful packaging. There were already men hard at work at every station. Kilos and kilos of product were lined up against the walls, and there were lookouts posted at every entrance.

Hongjoong was greeted by workers as he passed each station, observing and inspecting for errors. One by one, he gave orders to each one.

“That one’s too full. It’s a dime bag, not a dollar.”

“Speed it up over here, we need at least 100 from this table by the end of the hour.”

“Did you let that powder dry before bagging it up? You got me in trouble last time.”

Hongjoong and Seonghwa headed to the office in the back. It wasn’t much, just an old desk and a few chairs. Hongjoong set his bag on the floor by the door and made his way to the desk, while Seonghwa sat in one of the chairs.

“Minjoon’s carrying that football team on his back, I see.” Seonghwa watched as Hongjoong retrieved some paperwork, presumably from vendors.

Hongjoong smiled. “That’s my boy.”

Seonghwa nodded. “Headed to college. You ready?”

“Damn right I am. The minute he sets up his dorm I’m getting myself out of this shit. You of all people know this ain’t for me.”

“And how exactly do you, the KINGPIN, plan to just waltz the fuck out of here?”

Hongjoong shrugged. “Guess you’ll just have to wait and see. Until then, we have a vendor that has yet to send us our supply. You know the drill.”

Seonghwa got up and lifted a large painting off the wall, revealing a safe. Opening it, he retrieved two guns, both fully loaded. He tossed one to Hongjoong before tucking the other in his waistband.

“Let’s roll.”

They alerted all the lookouts of their plans before hopping into one of the unmarked cars parked outback. They drove in silence to the next town over in search of the coca leaf supplier. They turned off their headlights as they pulled into the driveway.

“Remember, we’re just going in to have a conversation. No guns unless they turn on us first.” Hongjoong said, turning the car off.

Seonghwa nodded, hopping out the passenger seat. “Just talk. Got it.”

They made their way to the back of the house quietly, knowing the supplier tended to the plants in his backyard. Without a doubt, there he was, alongside his twin brother, harvesting the plants.

“I hope those are going towards our shipment, Nunu. Daedae, nice to see you here as well.” Hongjoong said, leaning against the fence. The brothers looked up, wide-eyed, before running into the house.

Hongjoong sighed. “See, this is what I was trying to avoid.” He said, hopping over the fence, Seonghwa right behind him.

Hongjoong knocked on the glass door. “Listen, guys. I’m not here to cause harm. You know that. Why would anyone wanna harm the Coca Twins? I just wanna know where my shipment is. It should’ve arrived last week. You think someone like Cutthroat from Harlem would let this shit slide for a week? Ray-Ray from Bed-Stuy would’ve been raided this place. I’m out here trying to be a hospitable motherfucker, and you run from me and close the door.” He said, in a deathly calm voice. “You wanna come open the door? Because I’m coming in one way or the other, but I’d you let me in yourself.”

When his words were met with silence, Hongjoong gave Seonghwa the signal and ran into the glass shoulder first. Seonghwa pulled his gun from his waistband, walking closely behind Hongjoong as the glass shattered.

“HJ, man, we just need a little more time. We backed up right now.” Nunu’s shaky voice said from behind the couch.

“Should’ve told me that before you took my money. You know who Paul J. Meyer, Nunu? How bout you Daedae?” He asked and continued when neither answered. “Paul J. Meyer is the pioneer of the self-improvement industry. Self-help books started with him. He has a say that goes ‘Communication- the human connection- is the key to personal and career success.’ Meaning, if you communicate, you’ll be successful. And if you don’t? You’ll end up behind a couch shaking and fearing for your life because a kingpin you tried to scam is standing in your living room.” Hongjoong laughed to himself.

“Bro, we just need more time to-” Daedae started.

“I’m not your fucking bro. In case you forgot, I’m HJ. That’s Dragon.” Hongjoong pointed to Seonghwa. “Fuck more time. I want my product now. Lord knows you already spent the money I gave you. It’s only fair isn’t it?” Hongjoong turned to see Nunu’s hand reaching under the couch. Within seconds, Hongjoong’s pistol was off his waist and pointed at Nunu. Immediately, there was a gun put at Hongjoong’s head by Daedae.

“You think you’re the only one that stays packin?” Daedae laughed, quickly silenced by the sound of Seonghwa’s gun being cocked by his ear.

“Maybe not, but we’re the only ones man enough to shoot.” Seonghwa said, his voice dangerously low.

“Here’s what’s gonna happen. Daedae’s bitch ass is gonna set the gun down and you’re both gonna sit on the couch, turn on the TV and watch it like nothing ever happened. While Dragon and I take the product you owe us. Easy, right? Just mind your neck, and you get to keep it. Comprende?”

Hongjoong didn’t wait for a response. Instead, he headed out after Seonghwa. They collected the plants from the garden and ran to the car, speeding out the driveway and down the block.

Upon their return to the warehouse, Hongjoong called over two of his best workers, Mitch and Carlos.

“Make sure these plants have space to grow and are taken care of. After that, hit the streets. There’s money to be made.”

“You got it, boss. Let’s go C.” Mitch said, already moving the plants near a window.

When everything was all set up, everyone except for the lookouts headed out to sell. Hongjoong knew he didn’t have to run the streets as kingpin, but he feels everyone should work all positions. On occasions, He and Seonghwa even worked as lookouts. He trained his crew to be well rounded.

They returned to the warehouse at dawn to package any product that wasn’t sold and store their earnings for the night.

“You did good tonight, guys. We made a lot. As usual, Seonghwa is my proxy for the weekend and will oversee any decisions in my place. Stay safe, and I will be back Monday.” Hongjoong said, walking down the street. It was Friday, meaning it would be difficult to hide his job with Minjoon heading out to parties and hangouts and popping up at different hours of the night.

Hongjoong stood at the train station, knowing Santana would pop up any minute to go to work.

Santana appeared about half an hour later, a smile on her face.

“You don’t have to wait for me all the time, you know. You barely sleep as it is.”

“I do sleep! I’m heading to sleep right now. And I doze off every now and again in the office.”

Santana shook her head. “You have to sleep more than that, baby.”

Hongjoong pulled her in by the waist. “Come over later, I’d sleep better with you there.” He pleaded.

She rolled her eyes. “I don’t wanna scar Minjoon anymore.”

“He’ll be okay. Plus, there’s this party in Bed-Stuy. Some football player’s parents are gone for the weekend. He’ll barely be there.”

Santana tapped her chin. “Hmmm, alright. I get off work early today, so I’ll just let myself in while you’re sleeping.”

“Day off AND early leave? I should become a fashion designer too.”

She giggled. “And design what? Crackhead chic?”

“Feens gotta dress too. Why you hatin’?”

She shook her head, walking up the steps. “You are something else. I’ll see you later.”

Hongjoong shamelessly watched her ascend. He admired the sway of her hips, the way her skirt hugged her waist just right. The rich, deep brown color of her legs

“Go get some sleep, you perv.” She shouted from the top, to which Hongjoong smirked before walking away. He walked up the block to his building, where Minjoon was already standing.

“What I told you bout standing around like that? 12 gon think you’re looking for trouble.”

“Good morning to you, too. I wasn’t standing for long. I just figured I’d stand outside so you could just hurry back. You have to rest.”

“You sound like Santana. Get in the car, snotface.”

Once he made it back from dropping Minjoon off, Hongjoong fell into the sectional couch face-first into a deep sleep. He slept for hours until he heard the door unlock. He knew Minjoon was leaving school straight to Brooklyn, so it was either Seonghwa looking for something or Santana. He smiled when he saw perfectly pedicured toes come into view, confirming it was the latter. He felt the couch shift at the far end, indicating she had sat down.

He outstretched his arms. “C’mere.”

She sucked her teeth. “Stay asleep. Imma sit here.”

“I woke up the minute you put the key in the lock. Come lay with me”

She crawled her way up his body, resting her head on his bare chest, his arms wrapping around her waist.

“I wanna spend more time with you, HJ.” She said, her voice barely a whisper.

“I know, I’m working on it.” He said.

“You’re too smart for this kingpin shit, HJ.”

“Stop it.”

“I’m serious.” She rested her chin on his chest to look at him. “You could’ve easily graduated high school, and yet, you scored the highest on the GED test. Don’t you wanna go back to school? Remember telling me how much you love music production? All those beats you showed me? The ones that you released under that alias? The ones that went VIRAL? You can go back to school and perfect your craft.”

Hongjoong looked down at her and sighed. “Minjoon first.”

“Why does either of you have to be first? You can both go to college. You can commute if you need to. Life isn’t always about sacrifice. Just think about it.

Hongjoong slid his hands from her waist to the curve of her ass. “Lemme see how I feel after I eat.”

“Eat what? I know your ass don’t cook.”

“I’m not hungry for food. Come sit on your throne, Queen.” Hongjoong reached up her skirt, pulling her panties down in one swift motion.

Santana flung them across the room, placing her legs on each side of his head. She lowered herself on his face as his arms snaked around her thighs, locking her in place. His tongue teased at her entrance, the sudden contact causing her hips to buck. Her eyes fluttered shut as Hongjoong flattened his tongue along her cunt, his tongue flicking at her clit.

“Fuck, HJ,” She moaned as he sucked on her clit, her voice shaky.

The lewd sounds emitting from Hongjoong’s mouth as he licked, sucked, and slurped on her pussy caused heat to creep onto her cheeks.

Santana gripped onto the couch tightly, her legs slowly giving out.

“Fuck, baby I’m so close.” She said, out of breath.

“Yeah?” Hongjoong asked underneath her. “Ride my face. Show me how much you wanna cum.”

Santana weaved her hands into his light brown as she rocked her hips back and forth against his tongue. Her breath hitched as she felt that familiar tightening in her stomach. Her body felt like it was on fire as she shook uncontrollably, screaming Hongjoong’s name. As she came down from her high, Hongjoong unbuckled his pants.

“You ready to ride something else?” Hongjoong smirked when Santana loosened her grip on his hair and face.

“I’m always ready, Daddy,” Santana answered, sliding down to pull his boxers off. She tossed them on the floor to join the rest of the clothes as she pulled off her skirt and tank top.

She positioned herself, placing her hands on Hongjoong’s stomach to level herself before sinking down. The pair both groaning once he was fully inside her. Santana took a moment to adjust before beginning to move, bouncing up and down.

“Shit, baby, you’re always so tight.” Hongjoong gritted his teeth, reaching up to hold onto her hips.

Santana immediately pushed his hands down, speeding up the pace. “Uh uh, lemme take care of you, Daddy.” He tossed his head back, moaning as she circled her hips.

Her pace increased dangerously, her eyes snapping shut in pleasure.

“Take it easy, baby,” Hongjoong said, which was drowned out by Santana’s moans.

“TANA, SLOW DOWN.” He screamed but to no avail.

Suddenly, he flipped her over, and she landed on her back, gasping and the sudden switch.

“You don’t play fair, babygirl. You know the rules. Ladies first.” He lifted her leg onto his shoulder, his hips snapping into hers mercilessly. The room was filled with sounds of skin slapping, groans, and heavy breathing.

“Shit. Oh my God!” Santana shouted, pulling away slightly.

“Where the fuck you think you going? Take this dick, it’s yours, baby.” He said, pulling her back. “You getting close, baby? I can feel you clenching. You feel so good, baby. So tight, so warm. Cum for me, baby. I wanna hear you scream my name one more time.”

That’s all it took for Santana to become undone. Her toes curled immediately as her back arched, screaming a chant of Hongjoong’s name, her legs trembling.

“Where you want my cum, baby? Anywhere you want.” Hongjoong asked, kissing her neck.

“Mmm, cum inside me.”

“Yeah, you want me to fill you up?” His thrusts became sloppy, indicating his orgasm fast approaching.

Santana nodded. “I want you deep inside me, baby.” She muttered, overwhelmed by overstimulation.

Hongjoong nestled his face into her neck as he came, filling her up with his white seed.

They stayed like that for a while, until Hongjoong stood up. “C’ mon, we gotta shower.”

Santana whined. “How do you STILL have so much energy?”

He shrugged, pulling her up. “It’s a blessing and a curse. C’mon stinky.”

 Around 10pm that night, the couple was awoken by a loud banging on the door. Santana jumped up, alarmed. She began to fidget in the oversized t-shirt she had on. Hongjoong pressed his pointer finger to his lips, creeping up to the door. Peering into the peephole, he internally cursed when he saw the black uniforms and gold badges. He took a deep breath, pulling his grey sweats up to his waist and opened the door.

“Hongjoong Kim?”

“Yeah, that’s me.”

Santana screamed as she witnessed her boyfriend is suddenly thrown to the ground and placed in handcuffs.

“What the fuck is wrong with you? What are you doing?” She shouted.

“Hongjoong Kim, you are under arrest for the attempted murder of Timothy and Clarence Claremont.”

“The Coca Twins? They’re lying! This has to be some type of mistake!” Tears stained Santana’s face.

“Baby, come here.” Hongjoong pleaded. “It’s okay. Don’t cry. Everything’s gonna be alright. Go to Seonghwa and find Minjoon. Stay together. It’s too dangerous. Tell Hwa what happened, and he’ll know what to do. Remember this phrase: Go back to when it all started, and that’s where your future begins.” He kissed her with all his might.

“Back where it all started, okay. Okay.” Santana nodded.

“Did you have an accomplice in this, Mr. Kim?”

“No. I acted alone. Just take me already. I’m not resisting.” And with that, the police dragged him away, nearly tearing his white wifebeater in the process.

And Santana was left standing in the doorway, feeling lost and empty. 

[absorptance]

*holds up my tol ghoul son as a peace offering for my slowness*

[lunaneko14]

I try to be erudite in my discussions about Naruto and the characters therein, especially when I've perused so many Tumblr pages (such as yours) where I find very structured and intellectual dissertations on the subject. However, all that goes out the window when I think about Sakura's narcissism, lack of empathy and lack of self-awareness, and all of my well-intentioned arguments against her get reduced to, "Old, hatin' ass bitch! She should have been killed in the Land of Waves arc!" LMAO!

Lmfao

[arttrampbelle]

Hey ladies. Some advice for ya'll

Too many women out here bein jealous over other women and hatin andd all that negative shit. Its sad bro. Sad

Im not jealous. Because im already full of self love. I love myself enough. I dont need to be. Because i am me. And im unique. Just like you are. Im am beautiful in my own way. And i dance to my own drum n music. Im just krista.

I have down days of course. Everyone does.

Days i feel low.

But in the end.

I got me.

I always have.

Im a beautiful,boss ass bitch. A humble gal from ohio. A fabulous artist. And have been blessed with a beautiful family. A wonderful fiancé. the best friends ever. And another day on this gods green earth.

And im gonna do me.

No matter who or what life throws at me.

So any girls who think they gotta be like someone else to be vaild or loved.

DONT.

You are beautiful as you are.

And if someone says they love or like a certain type of person.

Doesn't mean they dont like you.

And even if they dont.

Fuck em

Fucks with peoples that fucks with you.

And the real ones will stay no matter what.

Thats the gah damn truth.

And also stay beautiful. Stay humble. And many blessings.

[kitten-teearss]

I was so proud because I'm going through the exact same thing and honestly, seeing someone progressing the way I want to progress is inspirational 👏😍

Progress is long and it’s hard but god it’s worth it. I know it’s hard to love yourself, but be gentle with yourself. Fake confidence until you eventually go “oh god, this isn’t??? Effort anymore??” And then it IS confidence. Don’t let no ain’t shit people get you down. And yes!!! Some days you’ll fall down harder than ever and say “was it even worth it? I’m back to square one” but you’re not back to square one, you got to where you were once and you can do it again.

Learn to love yourself, one day at a time. And then one day, when you do love yourself and people start hATIN’ be like ??? I didn’t spend this long learning to love myself for some petty ass bitches to tear me dOWN go to therapy and get over ya mess it’s 2018

Sorry I rambled but I really appreciate you and I hope my journey to self love and discovery helps you in some way in yours💖💖

[wweassets]

NJPW anon from earlier: Then this bitch basically hates any white wrestler (except Kenny Omega because they use their bisexuality to fetishize him to the point of nausea) Plus, they basically said watching wwe is supporting "Trump's friends" but YOU STILL SUPPORTING A "XENOPHOBIC" WRESTLER BITCH WITH YO CRUSTY, LONELY SELF HATIN' ASS. I just honestly hate all these elitist, fake woke, oldass 27+ women that I have encountered in this fandom. Sorry for ranting but I am just so tired.

honestly i dont blame you for getting so angry. i hate to generalise, but a lot (not all) of njpw stans are the epitome of fake woke, and they have SUCH an elitist attitude, like anyone who watches wwe only is trash to them. but the tea is that wwe produces a better quality, more varied content than njpw ever could.

[phoenixpinks]

TEAM LAZARUS 1001 NAMES

40 pages you crazies, it’s been a fun year as record keeper. 

Let’s try and reach 2,000 for next year!

Note: There are some spots where the emojis just didn’t register for me in the chat title. 

1) Team Lazarus

2) Team Adorable

3) Team Laz-R-Us

4) a FUCKING glass

5) SHEER MASTERMINDS

6) THE ANSWER IS NUN (STRIKE 2? WE’RE HAVING NUN OF THAT!)

7) FUCK CHUCK

8) Dream Team Lazy-R-Us

9) Dream Team Meme Team Laz👏R👏Us

10) Dream Team Meme Team Laz👏R👏Us Groupies

11) Hello welcome to Lazarus how can we cry with you

12) WHATS NEW LAZAROO (WOOOAH WOAH WOAH WWWWWOOAH)

13) Team Lazarus Team Mom

14) Team Lazarus Team Mom Team Rosebush

15) Team Lazarus - Thorn Edition

16) Team Lazarus - Thorn Mom Edition

17) “Take that funky butt and shake it all around…” - Edward Nygma

18) Jonathan Crane brutally murders a bitch

19) Jonathan Crane is our Murder Senpai

20) The Monarch returns to haunt us

21) un Patrol team Lazarus

22) Two Pun or not Two pun, that is the question

23) Hi my name is jim ichabod fear stork rance and i have short stork borwn hair

24) FUCK MONARCH

25) FUCK MONARCH (He’s fine…yup)

26) Jonathan Crane is totally fine there is aboslutly nothing wrong

27) Great Googly Moogly Everything’s Gone to Shit

28) @SkypeOfficial please remove this group there’s been a terrible mispunderstanding

29) endgame: jonathan slapping edward’s ass

30) Team Lazarus, Weakpoint: Hydration

31) Team Lazarus Momobile Beep Beep

32) Team Firewood

33) 847-bOI

34) The Doctor is In!

35) Mom Squad Roll Out

36) The Nyma Sass

37) The Nygma Sass

38) Sass Machine

39) CRANE LIVES HROO HRAA

40) CRANE LIVES CALLOOH CALLAY

41) Mission: Save Riddler’s sassy ass

42) Dr. Crane, master of Hardcore self medical treament

43) Dr. Crane, master of Hardcore self medical treatment

44) Dr. Crane, Master of Hardcore Self Medical Treatment ™

45) *football team chant* G👏C👏P👏D

46) Beep Beep here comes spooky

47) doot doot here comes spooky

48) Beep Beep here comes spooky

49) NOOT NOOT HERE COMES SPOOPY

50) Beepy Boopy here comes the spoop lord

51) here comes a sexy spooky

52) Our Lord and Saviour Jonathan Crane, hallowed be thine burlap,

53) Cult of Burlap and Riddles

54) DJ JC as the lead show with Rapper E.Nygma as backup

55) 55

56) Codot don’t do it oH MY GOD

57) Brb pizza

58) I wanted a turn to change the title sorry guys

59) SO IT IS TO BE WAR BETWEEN US

60) You don’t control me

61) You never leave. Not really.

62) Save the pupper

63) Save the Riddler

64) Be there in a sec sanna

65) Ya’ll are horrible

66) STOP THIS MADNESS

67) NEVER

68) Please don’t go

69) boys with fractured femurs who break into asylums for you 😍😍😭😭💋💋💦💦👏👏👏👌👌👌👀👀👀👅👅👅

70) Great googly moogly it’s all gone to shit… AGAIN

71) Trust a GCPD officer who makes bad puns in high stress times

72) Blessed by Scarepai

73) Welcome back

74) DID SOMEONE SAY MONARCH

75) I imagine when Jonathan saves Edward and the rogues see him again Jonathan’ll grab Edward, pull him in front of him, look dead ahead, and then someone’ll put on the opening theme of lion king while a lone spotlight shines down on edward

76) wE’rE aLl MaD HeRe

77) scarecrow the science bro (CRANE CRANE CRANE CRANE)

78) #PrayForCodotChords2k16

79) Rip GCPD 2k16 never forget 🙏🙏🙏

80) Crane deserves better than this

81) Pish Posh you’ve turned the Hatter into a Hater!

82) The Mad Hater Needs His Fucking Alice

83) The Mad Hater Needs A Fucking Life

84) Y'all need a fucking life more

85) Stop being mean to Jervis

86) being mean to jervis gives me life

87) Y u hatin on Jervis

88) leave my mad bby alone

89) Jervis did nothing wrong

90) Jervis did EVERYTHING WRONG WHAT ARE YOU TALKIN ABOUT

91) JERVIS DID NOTHING WRONG

92) RIDDLE 9 BOI

93) Half-Past Alfred

94) SPOOKY SCARY sceletus

95) Y'all need help

96) RIP Codot

97) Too Smart for the Plans to Find the Smartest 98) BREAK A LEG JON

99) BREAK BOLTON’S LEG JON

100) FUZZ IS A TEACHER’S PET (AND PROUD)

101) We befriended murder sempai

102) We befriended murder sempai

103) Make a bff bracelet with murder senpai

104) “Shake the Box to See if it Complains

105) "What a SPOOKtacular occasion” - Jonathan Crane at some point

106) Ra’s League of Legends

107) Riddler’s Label Pen

108) Can THEY get Edward’s cup of hot cocoa right???

109) Have fun storming the castle

110) GET 👏 OUR 👏 BBYS 👏 THERAPY 👏 PETS 👏

111) clayface!hannah confirmed 2k16

112) SQUAD WITH TAX BENEFITS

113) More annoying and pretentious than Edward

114) MOON MOON

115) Oh. My. God.

116) DAMMIT HANNAH

117) WHAT HAVE YOU DONE

118) Hannah Killed Crane!!

119) “tgis chat changes names faster than the captor changes his rules”

120) Moon Moon, Prince of Prose

121) Books-R-Us 2k16

122) angst, puns and ocs

123) Codot as Theo Saurus 2k16"

124) Ready for pain

125) #kingtheo2k16

126) A-TEAM BADA BING BADA BOOM

127) *faux french accent* A-TEAM BADA BING BADA BOOM

128) YOU GET A CAT, YOU GET A CAT, EVERYBODY GETS A CAT!!!

129) Story Planners Inc.

130) M O N A R C H

131) E D W A R D ’ S  A S S

132) What the heckle deckle did you just diddly done say about me, you little nerd? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Meme Team, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on The Captor, and I have over 3 confirmed riddle solves. I am trained in online research and I’m the top blogger in the entire codot army. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you clean out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my diddly words. You think you can get away with saying that lie to me over the Internet? Think again, meanie. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across Team Lazarus and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your riddleS. You’re dead, Hush. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can out meme you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in internrt combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of Google and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable hints off the face of the continent, you little twerp.  If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” kidnapping was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your undank memes.. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you snake.  I will rain puns all over you and you will drown in it. You’re dead, you viper.

133) Hello Arkham, I have 23 more patients to be admitted

134) Team Lazarus

135) Good 👏 Luck 👏 Brown 👏

136) Morals What Morals

137) Crane confirmed Pyro main in TF2

138) INTO THE KILN

139)  SAVE JONATHAN CRANE 2K16

140) Thomas more like ThomASS

141) INTO THE KILN

142) doting ignorami

143) LET JON USE HIS SCYTHE 2K16

144) Spoopy Scary Skeletor 💀

145) HROO HRAA 🎃👻💀

146) TEAM CRANE 2K16

147) TEAM MEME 2K16

148) FREE EDWARD NYGMA 2K16

149) FREE EDWARD NYGMA’S UNGRATEFUL ASS 2K16

150) Meaningful

151) Murder Sempai and the Ungrateful Kid in Time-Out

152)  What the heckle deckle did you just diddly done say about me, you little nerd? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Meme Team, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on The Captor, and I have over 3 confirmed riddle solves. I am trained in online research and I’m the top blogger in the entire rids army. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you clean out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my diddly words. You think you can get away with saying that lie to me over the Internet? Think again, meanie. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across Team Lazarus and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your riddleS. You’re dead, Hush. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can out meme you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in internrt combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of Google and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable hints off the face of the continent, you little twerp.  If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” kidnapping was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your undank memes.. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you snake.  I will rain puns all over you and you will drown in it. You’re dead, you viper.

153) Thank you, Codot

154) AFTER PARTY

155) AFTER PARTY (Thank you, Codot)

156) Hush: I finally have it, the brightest of minds…. *taps into followers minds* // Followers: nEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP, NEVER GONNA LET YOU DOWNNNN // Hush: what the f-

157) 4311791161/174743432/17237911/974773/7353

158) Happy Birthday, Bill!

159) #GiveCrocaDuckling2k16

160) Password: M O N A R C H

161) #GiveJonathanCraneHisRingBack2k17

162) #GiveAllTheRougesBetterChildhoods2kforver

163) SaveZsasz2k16

164) #ChangeTheEducationSystem2k16

165) #IbelieveinZsazs

166) Clayface is at it again

167) Team Blanket Fort

168) Sionis’s Poor Mini Golf Score

169) Recollective Music Box

170) TEAM BERET

171) #TeamMimikyu

172) FUCK U TEAM BOARDGAME HAT

173) wow

174) screw you guys i’m going home

175) MASQUERADE PAPER FACES ON PARADE

176) a disaster beyond imagination

177) BRING DOWN THE CHANDELIER

178) paaaast the point of no return

179) Riddler’s butt club

180) IM NOT CLAYFACE OMF

181) Riddler’s peanut gallery

182) And how does that make you feel?

183) Codot save us from the math

184) Codot, Challenger Of Trig 2k16

185) THE MIDDLE FINGET

186) Monarch

187) How to train your fly trap by Pamela Isley

188) How to train your fly trap by Pamela Isley (Illustrated by Harley)

189) How to train your fly trap by Pamela Isley (Illustrated by Harley) And brought to life by Edward Nygma (narrator) and Jonathan Crane (fly trap)

190) Team Lazarus: Study Group

191) Riddle me this

192) It’s Sad O’ Clock

193) FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

194) Team Lazarus is breaking down Arkham’s door!

195) Monarch

196) New Title

197) Bookworm did nothing wrong and is precious

198) Asshole McAsshole Nashton: Edward’s father

199) Ashton Nashton Strikes Again

200) Team Lazarus: So extra

201) Protect Query from gross men

202) ANARCHY

203) “I am vengeance. I am the night. I AM MONARCH OF MENACE!

204) COME ON AND SLAM! AND WELCOME TO THE JAM!

205) Hannah’s at it again

206) Roman mcasshole Sionis

207) LetAlfredoBeHappy2k16

208) Pasta Shame

209) Team Lazarus’s Civil War: Don’t Cry Over Spilled Spaghetti

210) MASS SEND HROO HRAA

211) Hroo Hraa Secured

212) Operation: Make Edward Trust Us

213) #MakeEddieTrustUs2k17

214) Team Tiny Hroos

215) Detective Wayne- it’s me, Edward!

216) Indy’s Cane Thighs ����

217) Nightmares and hell spawn

218) Leo got that dank fear toxin 👀👀👀

219) Den of Snakes

220) Den of Snakes

221) Den of Sneks (and one fox)

222) Dat Snort Tho

223) Haroo haraa

224) Snek snek snek snek snek

225) Get that stanky broken bond stuff away from me

226) Brown my lord and savior

227) Meet Zsaszarus Pit in the Lazarus Pit where its Lazarus Lit

228) MEET ME IN THE COURT, THOMAS

229) Sinister Memes

239) Hannah is Clayface. Must elminate Hannah.

240) I AM NOT CLAYFACE

241) ProtectStrawChild2k16

242) Don’t talk to me or my children about that 3D Batman cartoon EVER AGAIN

243) Alfredo Pennyworth 2k16

244) IT’S RAINING FURRIES

245) Mom Squad

246) Crane Spank

247) Crane Spank - Rated G for everyone

248) I will not embrace that man - Jonathan Crane

249) Swiggity swooty comin’ for that booty

250) Jervis is a smol bun bun

251) I AM NAUGHT CLAYFACE

252) I AM NAUGHT CLAYFACE (She lies)

253) I AM NAUGHT CLAYFACE (She lies) SO, NEGATIVE CLAYFACE?

254) CodotisaGift2k16

245) [7:15:18 AM]  Make like a Crane and burn him down

246) #Rogues!LittleShopOfHorrors

247) Dig Dug Dimmadome

248) Jello Crane

249) Support Sanna 2k16

250) Jon Crane the Science Train

251) The Scarecrow and his Tiny Hroos

252) The Scarecrow and his Tiny Hroos

253) Crane save us from the angry cheeto man

254) Alpacutie255) #KingCodot

256) Francesco the tap dancing cocktail shrimp

257) LetVictorAndNoraBeHappy2k16

258) Indy the cutest (snek)

259) 🎉Happy Birthday, Indy the cutest (snek) 🎉

260) Support Bookworm 2k16

261) Codot Is Our King, He Should V/O Everything

262) Jon, Jon, Jon, TITS, cats

263) #KingSkeletor

264) Give your bae the FLIPPER

265) Ahem... TITTYSPRINKLES AWAAAAAAAAAAY!

266) Zsasz vs Codot meme battle

267) Jonathan Crane's Rent is Too Damn High

268) "IF YOU DIE IN THE GAME YOU DIE FOR REAL

269) FUCKING DOUSE ME IN FEAR TOXIN IDGAF I AM WILLING I AM READY

270) Aesthetic: Edward paired with Que Sera Sera

271) Aesthetic: Edward Nygma Kinkshaming Jonathan Crane

272) Jonathan Crane Loves The Sideboob

273) Lego Batman Voice: I'M BATMAN

274) Zsasz will fight your bullies for free

275) Drumpf The Sith Lord

276) Please no political stuff thank you

277) Oh my god Codot (TM)

278) "Oh my Godot

279) RIP Leo the Viper, October 2016-November 2016 🙏🙏🙏

280) RIP Leo the PENGUIN, October 2016-November 2016 🙏🙏🙏

281) #IBelieveInBookworm

282) #ICan'tBelieveZsazsisBookworm

283) _removed conversation name_

284) BLANK

285) SIX MILLION TONS OF WHITE BULLSHIT ON MY DRIVEWAY

286) Everyone Boop Zsasz's nose

287) Psyche

288) Hannah's teachers are crazy

289) CODOT: QUEEN OF FRANCE

290) Spats on Cats

291) The Great Gaysby

292) Alfredo is the parent they deserve #SaveThem

293) Scarecrows Long Leggies

294) Give Edward His Glasses Back 2K16

295) Never Forget

296) Zsasz your local gentle farmerer just wants to tend to her goats

297) Zsasz your local gentle farmemer just wants to tend to her goats

298) Jonathan Crane: The Point Hoarder

299) Spats Over Spandex, Fashions By Leo

300) "Riddle meme this, Batman!"

301) Spoopy Jono

302) Save me from the bad sci-fi

303) Scarebeast vs. Riddlebot

304) _removed conversation name_

305) 1 v 1 me mate

306) Fight Club: Team Lazarus Edition

307) Law and Order: Team Lazarus edition

308) FUZZ WILL RISE AGAIN

309) It's your local Scarebro and his spooky sales

310) All hail Brown, Keeper of the Lazarus Records

311) All hail Sanna, keeper of the AUs

312) Wayne!Rouges headcanon HQ

313) Do not let the dank city fall

314) DO IIIIIT

315) Crane: They're so goddamn stupid

316) Team Lazarus Is Torn Apart By Overwatch

317) Team Lazarus: a bunch of gleeful homewreckers.

318) Pyro marries Team Lazarus

319) Short people vs tall people: The Codot Wars

320) Question Mark Codpiece. Yep.

321) Yes Glitter

322) NO GLITTER

323) Things heating up in the glitter fandom

324) Pray for Zsasz

325) We are all Tesla

326) *FIGHT HANNAH'S TEACHER*

327) *FIGHT HANNAH'S TEACHER AND CLASSMATES*

328) Law and Order: Team Lazarus Edition episode 2

329) The Fashion Police: Team Lazarus Edition

330) "Emerald colored - he's so pretentious. It's GREEN." - Jonathan about Edward @ some point

331) Jon's crows and various corvids

332) Wanna know how I got these scars?

333) probably got them scars from a drunk dare dude

334) AIN'T NO PARTY LIKE A CODOT PARTY 'CAUSE A CODOT PARTY DON'T STOP

335) codot pls voice morgan freeman in gotham. not as lucius, just morgan freeman.

336) leo vs edward nygma

337) Hello Naughty Children It's Sad Time)

338) Hi Diddle Diddle It's Dr Riddle

339) Codot was here, but he was sent to bed. YOLO.

340) Smol Rids in Space *NYOOM*

341) RAH RAH RAH MASTER OF FEAR)

342) HRAA HRAA HRAA MASTER OF FEAR

343) Au central

344) Don't mention Edward's 500+ issues to him or he'll have a meltdown and likely recluse to a shell of his former self

345) Sanna go to bed

346) Sanna went to bed

347) Sanna went to bed (at last)

348) N E V E R  F O R G E T

349) Waiting For Alfredo to snatch us

350) No One Expects the Boop-quisition

351) PIANO IS MY PARAMOUR

352) Cause he's a primadonna girl, yeah /all he ever wanted was batmans id

353) Happy Birthday Spoopy

354) Doctor Crane and His Horde of Interns

355) Doctor Crane and His Horde of Interns (Also Molly is my #queen support her 2k16)

356) Do Not Send Crane Bee Movie Quotes

357) According to all known laws of aviation...

358) Alex no. You're grounded.

359) there is no way a bee should be able to fly.

360) Go home, Alex.

361) Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground.

362) COME ON AND SLAM

363) IF I GO OUT IT'S GOING TO BE BY FEAR TOXIN NOT SOME ORANGE CHEETO MAN

364) okay but have you seen trump's caterpillar

365) Killer croc is awesome

366) PROFESSOR CRANE MY KING (emojis removed)

367) LET RALPH HAVE HIS PEN 2k16

368) Let scarecrow have his classic origin in rebirth 2016

369) Let Jon have a scythe again 2k16

370) Hannah is still Clayface, BEWARE

371) Ban Lindsey 5ever

372) #LetIvySing2k16

373) Harvey Dent: Matchmaker Extraordinaire. :D

374) Our Lord and Saviour Jonathan Crane can handle trashy students. Unfortunately, Thomas Elliot is a SUPER trashy student

375)  Ferret Lord Jonathan Crane 2k16

376) Jon is no longer ferret lord worthy

377) Make Crane love ferrets 2k16

378) Slenderman Only Fears Jonathan Crane

379) Me, banging my cooking pots outside of DC headquarters: LET FEMALE VILLAINS BE VILLAINOUS

380) CONFIRMED

381) Promote the garbage man to garbage boss

382) Everything Changed When the Boop Nation Attacked

383) Blessed by the spoopy presence of detective

384) ProtectIkky2k16

385) rip doctor spooky

386) DON'T HATE ON OTHERS BECAUSE YOU MADE A POOR GUESS

387) RIP HANNAH

388) Trigonometry more like trigoNOmetry

389) Mother Nature can take her frozen tears and throw them into the sun

390) A Rainbow of Bullshit

391) Ames deserves better 2k16

392) Bolton confirmed republican

393) Dollar Store Bane

394) Indy still needs to fight me in the pit

395) Ames V Indy: FIGHT ACROSS CANADA

396) Here I go, here I go, here I go again! Gotham, What's my weakness? Riddles!

397) fuck you

398) The power of puns compels you!

399) i've ascended good and evil fuck you all

400) Lego my fuckin eggo

401) Leo's corner

402) CONFIRMED

403) NOT CONFIRMED

404) C ON F I R M E D

405) DOUBLE C ON F I R M E D

406) DOUBLE C O N F I R M E D

407) FIGHTFIGHT

408) The coin says you're a punk-ass bitch -Harvey Dent, 2016

409) Becky deserves better 2k16

410) Dishonor on you, dishonor on your cow

411) Who wants to date this Riddle Cutie?

412) DO YOUR HOMEWORK, TEAM LAZARUS

413) Eddie, you're one clever S.O.B.

414) Codot is the Spanish Inquisition

415) Home work more like n o.

416) FEARBREEZE

417) Gotta go spray the room with my fearbreeze

418) Why is Codot ass deep in medical notes?

419) codoot did the noot noot

420) Leo & Codot Sitting in a Tree…

421) Team Lazarus > Codot

422) eam Lazarus = Codot

423) ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD

424) Leo is pretty cool

425) Hickory Dickory Doc

426) You can't just marry everyone Pyro

427) Jervis is a weeb, Edward is a weeb, hell, we're all weebs

428) “Retreat, retreat! It’s all a part of my cunning plan, really!”

429) #LetEdwardPlayPiano2k16

430) Im gonna name my mimikkyu "Eddie" because they both just want to be loved

431) Professional Chicken Holder

432) _removed conversation name_

433) http://lankybrunettepartdeux.tumblr.com/private/153587955220/tumblr_oh4qhizCiE1u7xkfs

434) (turkey) (turkey) (turkey)

435) #codootdoot

436) Jon didn't do anything wrong

437) Jon did a lot fo things wrong but not all of them

438) Riddler does not get drunk, children. The Riddler just has fun.

439) STUCK IN THE FEAR JEANS FOREVER

440) Fear Jeans

441) STUCK IN THE FEAR JEANS FOREVERZ

442) rankled

443) rankled fear jeans

444) WRITING IDEAS FUCK YEAH

445) They are all here...in the Twilight Zone *doo doo doo doo doo doo doo*

446) RIDDLER'S LABEL PEN RETURNS

447) Clayface is my hero

448) King COdot

449)  King Codot

450)King Codootdoot

451) KINGshame Codoot

452) Tea Time w Hannah

453) Cake Wars

454) This chat title will now change every one minute

455) Hello mtv welcome to my crib *points at sinkhole in ground*

456) HUMPSUIT

457) END OF DAYS: A Telltale Games Series

458) "THANKS DAD" IM SCREAMINF

459) Jonathan Cr-EH-ne

460) TWO F-EH-CE

461) Memeobile, Codotcycle, and 2013 toyota corolla

462) FEED ME

463) what the frick frack paddywhack is this fucking cat

464) YOU'RE UNDER ARREST CUTIE

465) HANNAH'S SISTER CONFIRMS, HANNAH IS CLAYFACE

467) HANNAH IS THE ALPHA TWIN

468) HANNAH IS THE ALPHA TWIN

469) Hannah is Clayface, sister confirms

470) THE DAD MOM

471) s top with monarch i am tIRED

472) ikky licky his dicky

473) ikky licky his sTICKY NOTES JOKES

474) “jack call me jackie nashton”

475) KATIE WON THE HUNGER GAMES

476) SO PROUD OF LEO WINNING THE HUNGER GAMES

477) WAYLON DESERVES TO WIN THE HUNGRY GAMES

478) WAYLON WON THE HUNGER GAMES IN MY HEART

479) The coin says you're a punk ass bitch

480) KILLER COCK

481) hi diddle, cockzilla fucked my riddle

482) hi diddle diddle, cockzilla fucked my riddle

483) Ames and Indy official OTP

484) Codot dies from thirst

485) Indy dies from Programmer Dad Thirst

486) Gotham Thugs: The Musical!

487) This is discrimination against farmers and i have several pages of objections ranging from hatred on hay to blasphemy against my beans

488) Zsasz vs Zsasz Dad

489) Go to bed Sanna

490) Zsasz Vs the 21 other people in this chat pt 2

491) "We talked, we drowned people, we told our life stories!!!" -Emma 2016

492) Batman is judging you

493) Team Lazarus: Fire and friendship

494) CROC WITH PUPPIES

495) #Let DCCharactersHaveNiceThings2KForever

496) Almost 500 tittles

497) C'mon guys, we can make it! :D

498) My hotline isn't bling rn -Zsasz

499) Team Lazarus, blasting off again!

500) FIVE HUNDRED 500NER THAN EXPECTED

501) HAMBURGER MAN CONFIRMED TWO FACE

502) Codot is the oldest twin #Confirmed

503) Crane (singing and prepping a fear toxin injection): Granny got run over by a reindeer…

504) Crane (singing and prepping fear toxin): Granny got run over by a reindeer...

505) Batdad would like to have a word in the Batcave

506) endgame: edward kinkshaming jonathan for slapping his ass

507) CODOR

508) CODOR (Translation: "YOU SHOULD ALL BE LOCKED UP IN A CAGE WITHOUT A KEY!")

509) 2016: so bad the waynes might as well be murdered again

510) MITHRA MEOW

511) Knock Ivy and Jervis out with Dr. Spoop

512) HAPPY HOLIDAYS Y'ALL

513) AMES QUEEN OF KICKASS OCS

514) Hi my name is ethan darkness dementia raven cobblepot and i have peroxide blonde hair and blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me i look like dick grayson

515) RIP Jonathan Crane was fucking destroyed by Becky Albright

516) Tempting Fate

517) Pray 4 Leo

518) Pray That Leo’s Tablet Clears Customs

519) THE JELLO CUP STRIKES BACK

520) KING CODOT STRIKES AGAIN

521) Codot is a peach

522) time to shove a scythe up hIS ASS

523) Codot is a strange mutant adult child #Confirmed

524) LetRiddlerCry#2k16

525) The Riddler People Vs Codot

526) Codot's Cross-Ocean Speedo

527) We are assholes team lazarus

528) We are (assholes) team lazarus

529) Sarah's explosive flatulence

530) Codot the mediocre skype god

531) Codot the magnificent skype god

532) Riddler's Depressed Combat Bots

533) LetJonathanSayWhoopAss2k17

534) Give us the Red Hood/Rogues Kill Bill Joker hunt

535) Pray circle for Indy

536) SEXY LEXI LUTHOR

537) GOTHAM PRINCESS BRIDE GOTHAM PRINCESS BRIDE

538) Deathstroke the Strokedeath

539) Team Lazarus is breaking down, that's it. Nothing new here.

540) CODOT IS THE NUMBER ONE FOLKS

541) you got 2 leggies get walkin

542) WHERE'S MY MONEY YOU DIRTY BAGUETTE

543) LEO'S GOT A TABLET AGAIN

544) Leo and Ames: Defenders of the Gecko

545) Spoopy Birb

546) GIVE ME JESTER HARLEY OR GIVE ME DEATH

547) "I'll LEAF you to your thoughts."

548) because uncly Clayface is my friend

549) lizards are magic fuck you steve

550) Team Lazarus calls are magic

551) Happy Holidays ya memer

552) england sucks

553) MERRY CHRISTMAS YA FILTHY ANIMALS!!

554) well i just listened and my icy heart is now a furnace

555) Sad oclock is always on the horizon

556) Shine bright like dick graysons 90's suit

557) INDY MADE A PUNNY

558) CODOT RUINS CHRISTMAS 2016

559) CODOT RUINS BOXING DAY

560) FUCK 2016 SIDEWAYS WITH A CROWBAR

561) Death Titties

562) Codot's Pointy Death Titties

563) Indy was a Canadian before it was cool

564) ZSAZS PARLE LE FUCKING FRANÇAIS

565) CANADIAN DEATH MATCH

566)  Is the sun a giant space heater

567) the fresh thane of scotland

568) Indy is a meme

569) FAREWELL 2016

570) Better step up your game the bis are your greatest hurdle

571) We are all sned

572) #LetEddiebe5'1 2k17

573) TOLS VS SMOLS 2K17

574) Dear Sylvester: Please don't kill clayface

575) Oops

576) Is that a challenge?

577) Purple Cauliflower is beautiful and should not be hated on 2k17

578) OSCAR ISAAC AS HARVEY DENT 2k17

579) MARK HAMILL MVP

580) KING DRURY MOTHMAN CONFIRMED

581) LEOOOOOOOOOOOOO

582) Ivy and the horrible baguette

583) Zsasz failed

584) #IBelieveInZsasz

585) Lep

586) EXPOSE ZSASZ 2K17

587) Tis I, the frenchiest fry

588) I will keep this title until Leo returns to symbolize how much I miss his absence

589) Riddler can't grow a beard so he just grows everything else instead

590) "Riddler can't grow a beard so he just grows everything else instead" - Indy, 01/13/2017

591) Operation: Leo Punches All The Riddlers

592) Operation: Leo Punches All The Riddlers, starting with Ames

593) YOOOOOU'RE HERE, THE FRENCHIEST FRY IS NEEEEAR,

594) ROGUES MUSICAL

595) "It's Gotham, reasonably wears spandex" -Hayden Ayala

596) SWEET SMELL OF SUCC

597) There's no 'I' in team but there is an 'I' in pizza

598) #IbelieveinHannah

599) Operation: "Fight Shitty Teachers" is underway

600) My brain is an intricate ecosystem which is on fire

601) DREAM TEAM MEME TEAM- RALPH, HAYDEN, AND AMIR

602) SYLVESTER SURPRISE

603) THERE'S A GUN TO YOUR HEAD AND DEATH IN HIS EYES

604) CLUB PENGUIN

605) Sucant Dehydrogenase more like SUCCant dehydrogenase

606) George Orwell can fight me

607) Mr Freeze studies CRY-ogenics

608) CODOT'S A DORK

609) MONARCH THEATRE

610) The perfume is a lie

611) We're never going to make it to 1,000 names at this rate

612) WE CAN DAMN WELL TRY

613) An epic quest of name-changing begins

614) WE GOTTA

615) Forgive my memeing sins

616) Chat name that's the entirety of the Bee Movie script

617) Chat name that's- NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP

618) the size of riddler size of riddler's mASSIVE EGO

620) his peen's much smaller than his ego

621) Team flirt with almost all mols and their bosses

622) HROO HRAA SECURED

623) LICKY

624) Reasonably Priced Sarcasm

625) Reasonably Priced Sarcasm (Roll back on that attitude)

636) Whomst'd've'lu'yaint'nt'ed'ies's'y'es'nt't're'ing'able'tic'ive'al'nt'ne'm'll'ble'al'ny'less'w'ck'k'ly'py'nd'idy'ety'st'ged'ful'ish'ng'my'ous

637) Explain your misery in terms of how much you hate chem and fuck yous

638) Crazy Quilt is our new mascot sorry jon

639) Ta-dah! Sard broken

640) Team Lazarus goes to McDonald's

641) (งಠ_ಠ)ง

642) YAINT

643) BLOCKED DELETED UNFOLLOWED

644) Hannan

645) Arkham's newest inmate: The Monarch Theater

646) Codot is a teasing bastard

647) THE MEMEWORM STRIKES

648) STOPHENCHMENBULLYING2K17

649) STOPHENCHMENBULLYING2K17 (ALSO STOPSNAKESNAMEDKATIE2K17)

650) TEAM LAZARUS IN A TRENCHCOAT

651) Zsasz is the meme snake

652) #TEAMLAZARUSFIGHTSTHEEDUCATIONALSYSTEM

653) #memesoutfotzsasz

654) In this house we appreciate Codot

655) AMES IS A CUTE, DISCUSS

656) BROWN IS A CUTE, DISCUSS

657) Team Lazarus is filled with cuties: Discuss

658) Eddie and Ozzie: BrOTP For Life

659) Beware the Ides of March.

660) -pation

661) What is human

662) #IBelieveInLeo

663) BUTTS, GEORGIA

664) YAY EMMA

665) fuckin ninja nibs

666) Schemer is Poison Ivy! Spread the word!!!

667) Spoopy Dorito

668) Professor Spoopy Dorito PhD-MD

669) SNES

670) WAYLON MY BOY

671) Time for Jon to be a Major Asshole™

672) We Are All Clayface

673) I want you and your windows xp level memes out of my h OUSE

674) GIVE ME ALL YOUR SNOW

675) All's fair in love and mario kart

676) Happy Ides of March

677) KLARION THE BITCH BOY

678) Do you wanna kink or the fic -Zsasz

679) Katie Unwittingly Interrupts Serious Time in the Chat With Stupid Link

680) Leo needs to go to the SHAME CUBE

681) Ames is a beautiful Canadian princess and I love her

682) Lemme just jot that down in my "Big List Of Manipulative Dick Moves For Jon To Make"

683) Zsasz, please do not fight the Penguin.  For your own safety.

684) Zsasz, please do not fight the Penguin. For your own safety. -Amie, 2017

685) The Great Soprano-Alto War

686) We Do Not, Leo.

687) i aint capullo

688) leo is capullo

689) Leo's art is dank

690) either cannibal or gay -Leo 2k17

691) My what a guy that Baaaaaaane

692) dark katies blog show me the hidden memes

693) uncovers batman's chest, revealing dem nipples behold

694) Tobias Whale can eat from the bag of infinite dicks.

695) AMES IS A CUTE

696) Codot could be lured to his death by Ames

697) Ames, please just visit the poor man!

698) Ames will visit the poor man when she gets the motivation and chance

699) 👀

700) Ames is the dankest meme

701) Ames is banned from 1v1-ing people

702) Edward Nygma is Nerd: discuss

703) Like 'I just mixed meth with crack and a splash of heroin and drank the thing like it was water in a desert'

704) We are drowning in the bred. Lik the bred.

705) I refuse to get verbally frisky with myself

706) I refuse to get verbally frisky with myself -Codot, 2017

707) I Believe in Jonathan Crane

708) And the SAD RP AWARD goes to ... Slyv

709) And the SAD RP AWARD goes to ... Sylvester stallone

710) OUR LORD AND SAVIOR DORITO CRANE

711) Leo gonna roast clayface so hard clayface'll become pottery

712) 19v1 everyone in this chat v ames

713) Zsasz 👏 Did 👏 No 👏 Wrong

714) #StopZsaszBullying2K17 715) #StopZsaszBullying2K17 (katie is innocent)

716) #StopKatieBullying2K17

717) http://lankybrunettepartdeux.tumblr.com/post/158985611430/when-theres-trouble-who-you-gonna-call-not

718) when there's trouble, who you gonna call? not edward because he's probably there anyway

719) President OSWALD 2020

720) leo and codot sITTIN IN A TREE

721) UKK YSE CREATIVITEA

722) I pray at my altar of sluts

723) ames more like aMESS

724) ProtectAmes2k17

725) Leo's Career Pseudonym: Not Greg Capullo

726) You gotta keep up to date on all the hot Team Lazarus memes

727) #TeamCondimentKing

728) #TeamCrazyQuilt

729) #TeamKiteMan

730) #TeamEgghead

731) #TeamKillerMoth

732) #TeamKingCobra

733) #TeamKillerCroc

734) #TeamKingCodot

735) #TeamLazarus

736) E G G

737) PYRO'S PROFESSOR IS CRANE #CONFIRMED

738) ALL CANADIANS ARE VIPERS

739) ALL CANADIANS (except amy ofc what an angel) ARE VIPERS

740) ALL CANADIANS (specially amy ofc) ARE VIPERS

741) Go the fuck to sleep, Brown! - Samuel L. Jackson

742) Think on your sins Lindsey

743) aH FUCMED IP

744) Leo stop looking @ the skype group and go nap gdi

745) HANZO IS TITTY ARCHER MAN

746) AMES NO

747) "Birds have nipples!"

748) oswald: imma suck the ornithonipnops

749) Katie the cyberbully

750) Katie n the Heelies sounds like a great band name

751) Chungus Humongous

752) Draw me like one of your sexy Jim Gordon's

753) Someone cure Katie's thirst for Jim Gordon

754) Judge Leo is now in court

755) Let Leo use a british accent 2k17

756) AMES' EMBARASSING PAST

757) y'all'd've g'dabbed

758) Rip amy killed by leo 2k17

759) I never stop. I MUST NEVER STOP. -Codot 2k17

760) #IkkyProtectionSquad

761) Leo spreads fake informaion like butter 2k17

762) Scaring Ames 2k17

763) why do you son

764) special memes for special ppl

765) Team Lazarus: Obsessed with the Zsaszarus

766) Zsasz is the new young god confirmed

767) *record scratch* so you're probably wondering how i became a cult idol 768) The Riddler Who Can't Solve Riddles

769) M'AIDER Stranded Frisk

770) BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL

771) Ames, please explain WTF Canada is.

772) War of the heights

773) Little oyster

774) Amie has done nothing wrong.

775) #giveamescoffee2k17

776) Wow I can't believe Leo is the fucking pope

777) Wow I can't believe (amy) is the fucking pope

778) Wow can't believe Leo is actually Cthulhu

779) Leo should go to bed instead of eating doritos on a burger :):):)

780) Ames was an scene kid, discuss.

781) Believe in the nipple priest

782) Believe in the Nipple Priests

783) Clayface stop changing this without context or I will rip off your eye

784) Clayface stop changing this without context or I will rip off your eyelids

785) LONG LIVE THE NIPPLE PRIESTS

786) GO BACK TO BE POTTERY, CLAYFACE

787) Que sera sera, binch

788) Ikky is best birb

789) Everybody sue leo

790) I’ll fight you, strawman

791) There is a Strawman waiting in the sky

792) I <3 Amie

793) I LOVE ALPACA

794) I swim with dolphins at my own pace - Alpaca for president 2020

795) ames is a cute, confirmed

796) The things this chat makes me read

797) IM A CTUALLY CALLING THE RCMP

798) Jonathan and Oswald attend furrycon together

799) Jonathan, Oswald, and Selina attend furrycon together

800) hello my name is ebony darkness dementia raven way I have long black f

801) hello my name is ebony darkness dementia raven way I have long black fur and blood red eyes and i n'ya a lot

802) I can't believe Cluemaster is from Ames' town

803) Y'ALL'RE DIRTY SINNERS

804) ZSASZ WE'RE SORRY PLEASE COME BACK

805) Katie hecked up so badly we are gonna see a shitpost of the shitpost

806) KATIE IS PURE AND IS VOID OF LEO'S SIN

807) Leo is my confirmed memer in crime

808) PYGMALION MORE LIKE PYGMALINO

809) ames wants a trudeau body pillow, don't believe her lies

810) cant believe katie encourages leos bad habits smh dead 2 me

811) #GiveCraneAYellowRing2k17

812) Katie 4 president (of my  ❤ if i have one)

813) ames secretly loves the pyg

814) MY QUEEN AMES

815) Are you a chouchou person or a moonmoon person

816) we are Bros or Foes no inbetween

817) Wow I can't believe the dirty baguette is responsible for Jon's Arkham asylum outfit

818) Leo is a snek #confirmed

819) HES A FILTHY FEAR BOY

820)  I prefer my clowns without legs

821) Thou hath me shooketh

822) MIEF

823) A DEN OF MIEFS

824) When u gotta carve that pig bc bae is coming but u feed ur victims to ur pigs???? (Emojies removed bc they fucked with the document)

825) When bae says he didnt poison ur wine 😍😍😍❤❤❤❤👅👅👅👅👅👅✊✊✊✊💦💦💦💦💦

826)Can't believe Katie wants to marry Lucenzo Daddy-tino 😧😧😧

827) Katie just wants to live with Harvey Bullock and his cats, thank u very much

828) LET 👏 DADDY-TINO 👏 LIVE 👏

829) Katie cheated Luncenzo with Bullock and thats why Bullock is dead

830)Can't believe Bullock got decked my Katies THOT 😭😭😭😭

831) Can't believe Katies THOT tried to seduce Jonathan Crane via pork dinner and expensive wine 😭📞🚔🚔🚔🚔

832) i can't believe oswald cobblepot is taller than ames (insert a million emoji's here)

833) i can't believe oswald cobblepot is taller than ames 😭😭😭✊✊✊💦💦💦👅👅👅👀👀👀

834) Famemely of Meifs

835) Memebers of the Mief Famemely

836) EVERYTHING THREATENS TO GO TO SHIT...AGAIN

837) LET EDWARD NYGMA HAVE A THICC BOOTY 2K17

838) RIDDLER HAS NO BUTT

839) ur'e

840) B O I

841) According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... ...9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it'll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey! - That girl was hot. - She's my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we're all cousins. - Right. You're right. - At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We're bees. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you're interested in? - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I'm not trying to be funny. You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You're gonna be a stirrer? - No one's listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! I'm so proud. - We're starting work today! - Today's the day. Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them's yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side. - What'd you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What's available? Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? Barry! All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... What happened to you? Where are you? - I'm going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign..

842) According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... ...9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it'll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey! - That girl was hot. - She's my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we're all cousins. - Right. You're right. - At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We're bees. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you're interested in? - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I'm not trying to be funny. You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You're gonna be a stirrer? - No one's listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! I'm so proud. - We're starting work today! - Today's the day. Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them's yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side. - What'd you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What's available? Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? Barry! All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... What happened to you? Where are you? - I'm going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're 👏gonna👏 take👏 him 👏up👏. Really? 👏Feeling..

843) CRASHIN MY SKYPE YA GODLESS HEATHEN

844) According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... ...9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it'll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey! - That girl was hot. - She's my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we're all cousins. - Right. You're right. - At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We're bees. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you're interested in? - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I'm not trying to be funny. You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You're gonna be a stirrer? - No one's listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! I'm so proud. - We're starting work today! - Today's the day. Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them's yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side. - What'd you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What's available? Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? Barry! All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... What happened to you? Where are you? - I'm going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign..

845) NOOOOOOOO

846) According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... ...9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it'll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey! - That girl was hot. - She's my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we're all cousins. - Right. You're right. - At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We're bees. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you're interested in? - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I'm not trying to be funny. You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You're gonna be a stirrer? - No one's listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! I'm so proud. - We're starting work today! - Today's the day. Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them's yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side. - What'd you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What's available? Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? Barry! All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... What happened to you? Where are you? - I'm going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign..

847) IM PUTTIN MY FOOT DOWN

848) According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... ...9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it'll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey! - That girl was hot. - She's my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we're all cousins. - Right. You're right. - At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We're bees. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you're interested in? - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I'm not trying to be funny. You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You're gonna be a stirrer? - No one's listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! I'm so proud. - We're starting work today! - Today's the day. Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them's yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side. - What'd you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What's available? Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? Barry! All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... What happened to you? Where are you? - I'm going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign..

849) AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

850) Once upon a time there was a lovely princess. But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort which could only be broken by love's first kiss. She was locked away in a castle guarded by a terrible fire-breathing dragon. Many brave knights had attempted to free her from this dreadful prison, but non prevailed. She waited in the dragon's keep in the highest room of the tallest tower for her true love and true love's first kiss. (laughs) Like that's ever gonna happen. What a load of - (toilet flush)  Allstar - by Smashmouth begins to play. Shrek goes about his day. While in a nearby town, the villagers get together to go after the ogre.                 NIGHT - NEAR SHREK'S HOME                                     MAN1Think it's in there?                                      MAN2All right. Let's get it!                                      MAN1Whoa. Hold on. Do you know what that thing can do to you?                                       MAN3Yeah, it'll grind your bones for it's bread.  Shrek sneaks up behind them and laughs.                                      SHREKYes, well, actually, that would be a giant. Now, ogres, oh they're much worse. They'll make a suit from your freshly peeled skin.                                       MENNo!                                      SHREKThey'll shave your liver. Squeeze the jelly from your eyes! Actually, it's quite good on toast.                                       MAN1Back! Back, beast! Back! I warn ya! (waves the torch at Shrek.)  Shrek calmly licks his fingers and extinguishes the torch. The men shrink back away from him. Shrek roars very loudly and long and his breath extinguishes all the remaining torches until the men are in the dark.                                       SHREKThis is the part where you run away. (The men scramble to get away. He laughs.) And stay out! (looks down and picks up a piece of paper. Reads.) "Wanted. Fairy tale creatures."(He sighs and throws the paper over his shoulder.)                                          THE NEXT DAYThere is a line of fairy tale creatures. The head of the guard sits at a table paying people for bringing the fairy tale creatures to him. There are cages all around. Some of the people in line are Peter Pan, who is carrying Tinkerbell in a cage, Gipetto who's carrying Pinocchio, and a farmer who is carrying the three little pigs.                                       GUARDAll right. This one's full. Take it away! Move it along. Come on! Get up!                                                                HEAD GUARDNext!                                      GUARD(taking the witch's broom) Give me that! Your flying days are over. (breaks the broom in half)                                       HEAD GUARDThat's 20 pieces of silver for the witch. Next!                                       GUARDGet up! Come on!                                      HEAD GUARDTwenty pieces.                                      LITTLE BEAR(crying) This cage is too small.                                      DONKEYPlease, don't turn me in. I'll never be stubborn again. I can change. Please! Give me another chance!                                       OLD WOMANOh, shut up. (jerks his rope)                                      DONKEYOh!                                      HEAD GUARDNext! What have you got?                                      GIPETTOThis little wooden puppet.                                      PINOCCHIOI'm not a puppet. I'm a real boy. (his nose grows)                                       HEAD GUARDFive shillings for the possessed toy. Take it away.                                       PINOCCHIOFather, please! Don't let them do this! Help me!  Gipetto takes the money and walks off. The old woman steps up to the table.                                       HEAD GUARDNext! What have you got?                                      OLD WOMANWell, I've got a talking donkey.                                      HEAD GUARDRight. Well, that's good for ten shillings, if you can prove it.                                       OLD WOMANOh, go ahead, little fella. Donkey just looks up at her.                                      HEAD GUARDWell?                                      OLD WOMANOh, oh, he's just...he's just a little nervous. He's really quite a chatterbox. Talk, you boneheaded dolt...                                       HEAD GUARDThat's it. I've heard enough. Guards!                                                                OLD WOMANNo, no, he talks! He does. (pretends to be Donkey) I can talk. I love to talk. I'm the talkingest damn thing you ever saw.                                       HEAD GUARDGet her out of my sight.                                      OLD WOMANNo, no! I swear! Oh! He can talk! The guards grab the old woman and she struggles with them. One of her legs flies out and kicks Tinkerbell out of Peter Pan's hands, and her cage drops on Donkey's head. He gets sprinkled with fairy dust and he's able to fly.                                       DONKEYHey! I can fly!                                      PETER PANHe can fly!                                      3 LITTLE PIGSHe can fly!                                      HEAD GUARDHe can talk!                                      DONKEYHa, ha! That's right, fool! Now I'm a flying, talking donkey. You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly but I bet you ain't never seen a donkey fly. Ha, ha! (the pixie dust begins to wear off) Uh-oh. (he begins to sink to the ground.)  He hits the ground with a thud.                                      HEAD GUARDSeize him! (Donkey takes of running.) After him!                                       GUARDSHe's getting away! Get him! This way! Turn!  Donkey keeps running and he eventually runs into Shrek. Literally. Shrek turns around to see who bumped into him. Donkey looks scared for a moment then he spots the guards coming up the path. He quickly hides behind Shrek.                                       HEAD GUARDYou there. Ogre!                                      SHREKAye?                                      HEAD GUARDBy the order of Lord Farquaad I am authorized to place you both under arrest and transport you to a designated resettlement facility.                                                                SHREKOh, really? You and what army? He looks behind the guard and the guard turns to look as well and we see that the other men have run off. The guard tucks tail and runs off. Shrek laughs and goes back about his business and begins walking back to his cottage.                                       DONKEYCan I say something to you? Listen, you was really, really, really somethin' back here. Incredible!                                       SHREKAre you talkin' to...(he turns around and Donkey is gone) me? (he turns back around and Donkey is right in front of him.) Whoa!                                       DONKEYYes. I was talkin' to you. Can I tell you that you that you was great back here? Those guards! They thought they was all of that. Then you showed up, and bam! They was trippin' over themselves like babes in the woods. That really made me feel good to see that.                                       SHREKOh, that's great. Really.                                      DONKEYMan, it's good to be free.                                      SHREKNow, why don't you go celebrate your freedom with your own friends? Hmm?                                                                DONKEYBut, uh, I don't have any friends. And I'm not goin' out there by myself. Hey, wait a minute! I got a great idea! I'll stick with you. You're mean, green, fightin' machine. Together we'll scare the spit out of anybody that crosses us.  Shrek turns and regards Donkey for a moment before roaring very loudly..

851) SCREAMS OUT OF FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN

852) Once upon a time there was a lovely princess. But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort which could only be broken by love's first kiss. She was locked away in a castle guarded by a terrible fire-breathing dragon. Many brave knights had attempted to free her from this dreadful prison, but non prevailed. She waited in the dragon's keep in the highest room of the tallest tower for her true love and true love's first kiss. (laughs) Like that's ever gonna happen. What a load of - (toilet flush)  Allstar - by Smashmouth begins to play. Shrek goes about his day. While in a nearby town, the villagers get together to go after the ogre.                 NIGHT - NEAR SHREK'S HOME                                     MAN1Think it's in there?                                      MAN2All right. Let's get it!                                      MAN1Whoa. Hold on. Do you know what that thing can do to you?                                       MAN3Yeah, it'll grind your bones for it's bread.  Shrek sneaks up behind them and laughs.                                      SHREKYes, well, actually, that would be a giant. Now, ogres, oh they're much worse. They'll make a suit from your freshly peeled skin.                                       MENNo!                                      SHREKThey'll shave your liver. Squeeze the jelly from your eyes! Actually, it's quite good on toast.                                       MAN1Back! Back, beast! Back! I warn ya! (waves the torch at Shrek.)  Shrek calmly licks his fingers and extinguishes the torch. The men shrink back away from him. Shrek roars very loudly and long and his breath extinguishes all the remaining torches until the men are in the dark.                                       SHREKThis is the part where you run away. (The men scramble to get away. He laughs.) And stay out! (looks down and picks up a piece of paper. Reads.) "Wanted. Fairy tale creatures."(He sighs and throws the paper over his shoulder.)                                          THE NEXT DAYThere is a line of fairy tale creatures. The head of the guard sits at a table paying people for bringing the fairy tale creatures to him. There are cages all around. Some of the people in line are Peter Pan, who is carrying Tinkerbell in a cage, Gipetto who's carrying Pinocchio, and a farmer who is carrying the three little pigs.                                       GUARDAll right. This one's full. Take it away! Move it along. Come on! Get up!                                                                HEAD GUARDNext!                                      GUARD(taking the witch's broom) Give me that! Your flying days are over. (breaks the broom in half)                                       HEAD GUARDThat's 20 pieces of silver for the witch. Next!                                       GUARDGet up! Come on!                                      HEAD GUARDTwenty pieces.                                      LITTLE BEAR(crying) This cage is too small.                                      DONKEYPlease, don't turn me in. I'll never be stubborn again. I can change. Please! Give me another chance!                                       OLD WOMANOh, shut up. (jerks his rope)                                      DONKEYOh!                                      HEAD GUARDNext! What have you got?                                      GIPETTOThis little wooden puppet.                                      PINOCCHIOI'm not a puppet. I'm a real boy. (his nose grows)                                       HEAD GUARDFive shillings for the possessed toy. Take it away.                                       PINOCCHIOFather, please! Don't let them do this! Help me!  Gipetto takes the money and walks off. The old woman steps up to the table.                                       HEAD GUARDNext! What have you got?                                      OLD WOMANWell, I've got a talking donkey.                                      HEAD GUARDRight. Well, that's good for ten shillings, if you can prove it.                                       OLD WOMANOh, go ahead, little fella. Donkey just looks up at her.                                      HEAD GUARDWell?                                      OLD WOMANOh, oh, he's just...he's just a little nervous. He's really quite a chatterbox. Talk, you boneheaded dolt...                                       HEAD GUARDThat's it. I've heard enough. Guards!                                                                OLD WOMANNo, no, he talks! He does. (pretends to be Donkey) I can talk. I love to talk. I'm the talkingest damn thing you ever saw.                                       HEAD GUARDGet her out of my sight.                                      OLD WOMANNo, no! I swear! Oh! He can talk! The guards grab the old woman and she struggles with them. One of her legs flies out and kicks Tinkerbell out of Peter Pan's hands, and her cage drops on Donkey's head. He gets sprinkled with fairy dust and he's able to fly.                                       DONKEYHey! I can fly!                                      PETER PANHe can fly!                                      3 LITTLE PIGSHe can fly!                                      HEAD GUARDHe can talk!                                      DONKEYHa, ha! That's right, fool! Now I'm a flying, talking donkey. You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly but I bet you ain't never seen a donkey fly. Ha, ha! (the pixie dust begins to wear off) Uh-oh. (he begins to sink to the ground.)  He hits the ground with a thud.                                      HEAD GUARDSeize him! (Donkey takes of running.) After him!                                       GUARDSHe's getting away! Get him! This way! Turn!  Donkey keeps running and he eventually runs into Shrek. Literally. Shrek turns around to see who bumped into him. Donkey looks scared for a moment then he spots the guards coming up the path. He quickly hides behind Shrek.                                       HEAD GUARDYou there. Ogre!                                      SHREKAye?                                      HEAD GUARDBy the order of Lord Farquaad I am authorized to place you both under arrest and transport you to a designated resettlement facility.                                                                SHREKOh, really? You and what army? He looks behind the guard and the guard turns to look as well and we see that the other men have run off. The guard tucks tail and runs off. Shrek laughs and goes back about his business and begins walking back to his cottage.                                       DONKEYCan I say something to you? Listen, you was really, really, really somethin' back here. Incredible!                                       SHREKAre you talkin' to...(he turns around and Donkey is gone) me? (he turns back around and Donkey is right in front of him.) Whoa!                                       DONKEYYes. I was talkin' to you. Can I tell you that you that you was great back here? Those guards! They thought they was all of that. Then you showed up, and bam! They was trippin' over themselves like babes in the woods. That really made me feel good to see that.                                       SHREKOh, that's great. Really.                                      DONKEYMan, it's good to be free.                                      SHREKNow, why don't you go celebrate your freedom with your own friends? Hmm?                                                                DONKEYBut, uh, I don't have any friends. And I'm not goin' out there by myself. Hey, wait a minute! I got a great idea! I'll stick with you. You're mean, green, fightin' machine. Together we'll scare the spit out of anybody that crosses us.  Shrek turns and regards Donkey for a moment before roaring very loudly.." ***

853) jESUS CHRIST ON A CROSS

854) Once upon a time there was a lovely princess. But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort which could only be broken by love's first kiss. She was locked away in a castle guarded by a terrible fire-breathing dragon. Many brave knights had attempted to free her from this dreadful prison, but non prevailed. She waited in the dragon's keep in the highest room of the tallest tower for her true love and true love's first kiss. (laughs) Like that's ever gonna happen. What a load of - (toilet flush)  Allstar - by Smashmouth begins to play. Shrek goes about his day. While in a nearby town, the villagers get together to go after the ogre.                 NIGHT - NEAR SHREK'S HOME                                     MAN1Think it's in there?                                      MAN2All right. Let's get it!                                      MAN1Whoa. Hold on. Do you know what that thing can do to you?                                       MAN3Yeah, it'll grind your bones for it's bread.  Shrek sneaks up behind them and laughs.                                      SHREKYes, well, actually, that would be a giant. Now, ogres, oh they're much worse. They'll make a suit from your freshly peeled skin.                                       MENNo!                                      SHREKThey'll shave your liver. Squeeze the jelly from your eyes! Actually, it's quite good on toast.                                       MAN1Back! Back, beast! Back! I warn ya! (waves the torch at Shrek.)  Shrek calmly licks his fingers and extinguishes the torch. The men shrink back away from him. Shrek roars very loudly and long and his breath extinguishes all the remaining torches until the men are in the dark.                                       SHREKThis is the part where you run away. (The men scramble to get away. He laughs.) And stay out! (looks down and picks up a piece of paper. Reads.) "Wanted. Fairy tale creatures."(He sighs and throws the paper over his shoulder.)                                          THE NEXT DAYThere is a line of fairy tale creatures. The head of the guard sits at a table paying people for bringing the fairy tale creatures to him. There are cages all around. Some of the people in line are Peter Pan, who is carrying Tinkerbell in a cage, Gipetto who's carrying Pinocchio, and a farmer who is carrying the three little pigs.                                       GUARDAll right. This one's full. Take it away! Move it along. Come on! Get up!                                                                HEAD GUARDNext!                                      GUARD(taking the witch's broom) Give me that! Your flying days are over. (breaks the broom in half)                                       HEAD GUARDThat's 20 pieces of silver for the witch. Next!                                       GUARDGet up! Come on!                                      HEAD GUARDTwenty pieces.                                      LITTLE BEAR(crying) This cage is too small.                                      DONKEYPlease, don't turn me in. I'll never be stubborn again. I can change. Please! Give me another chance!                                       OLD WOMANOh, shut up. (jerks his rope)                                      DONKEYOh!                                      HEAD GUARDNext! What have you got?                                      GIPETTOThis little wooden puppet.                                      PINOCCHIOI'm not a puppet. I'm a real boy. (his nose grows)                                       HEAD GUARDFive shillings for the possessed toy. Take it away.                                       PINOCCHIOFather, please! Don't let them do this! Help me!  Gipetto takes the money and walks off. The old woman steps up to the table.                                       HEAD GUARDNext! What have you got?                                      OLD WOMANWell, I've got a talking donkey.                                      HEAD GUARDRight. Well, that's good for ten shillings, if you can prove it.                                       OLD WOMANOh, go ahead, little fella. Donkey just looks up at her.                                      HEAD GUARDWell?                                      OLD WOMANOh, oh, he's just...he's just a little nervous. He's really quite a chatterbox. Talk, you boneheaded dolt...                                       HEAD GUARDThat's it. I've heard enough. Guards!                                                                OLD WOMANNo, no, he talks! He does. (pretends to be Donkey) I can talk. I love to talk. I'm the talkingest damn thing you ever saw.                                       HEAD GUARDGet her out of my sight.                                      OLD WOMANNo, no! I swear! Oh! He can talk! The guards grab the old woman and she struggles with them. One of her legs flies out and kicks Tinkerbell out of Peter Pan's hands, and her cage drops on Donkey's head. He gets sprinkled with fairy dust and he's able to fly.                                       DONKEYHey! I can fly!                                      PETER PANHe can fly!                                      3 LITTLE PIGSHe can fly!                                      HEAD GUARDHe can talk!                                      DONKEYHa, ha! That's right, fool! Now I'm a flying, talking donkey. You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly but I bet you ain't never seen a donkey fly. Ha, ha! (the pixie dust begins to wear off) Uh-oh. (he begins to sink to the ground.)  He hits the ground with a thud.                                      HEAD GUARDSeize him! (Donkey takes of running.) After him!                                       GUARDSHe's getting away! Get him! This way! Turn!  Donkey keeps running and he eventually runs into Shrek. Literally. Shrek turns around to see who bumped into him. Donkey looks scared for a moment then he spots the guards coming up the path. He quickly hides behind Shrek.                                       HEAD GUARDYou there. Ogre!                                      SHREKAye?                                      HEAD GUARDBy the order of Lord Farquaad I am authorized to place you both under arrest and transport you to a designated resettlement facility.                                                                SHREKOh, really? You and what army? He looks behind the guard and the guard turns to look as well and we see that the other men have run off. The guard tucks tail and runs off. Shrek laughs and goes back about his business and begins walking back to his cottage.                                       DONKEYCan I say something to you? Listen, you was really, really, really somethin' back here. Incredible!                                       SHREKAre you talkin' to...(he turns around and Donkey is gone) me? (he turns back around and Donkey is right in front of him.) Whoa!                                       DONKEYYes. I was talkin' to you. Can I tell you that you that you was great back here? Those guards! They thought they was all of that. Then you showed up, and bam! They was trippin' over themselves like babes in the woods. That really made me feel good to see that.                                       SHREKOh, that's great. Really.                                      DONKEYMan, it's good to be free.                                      SHREKNow, why don't you go celebrate your freedom with your own friends? Hmm?                                                                DONKEYBut, uh, I don't have any friends. And I'm not goin' out there by myself. Hey, wait a minute! I got a great idea! I'll stick with you. You're mean, green, fightin' machine. Together we'll scare the spit out of anybody that crosses us.  Shrek turns and regards Donkey for a moment before roaring very loudly..

855) CHAOS IS THE NATURAL STATE OF THE UNIVERSE

856) hannah is ruining amys meme

857) AMES I RUINING BROWN'S GOOGLE DOC

858) Ames how the fuck did I miss that script mess how dare you not keep it

859) my professor is jonathan crane aND I ASKED HIM TO TEACH PSYCHOLOGY NEXT WEEK I HOPE I DIDN'T MAKE A MISTAKE -pyro sea

860) "It's like a cape, but for my legs!" -Hannah, talking about her skirt

861) "You can't just quote me on everything!" -Lexi, 2017

862) 2472

863) canya pawnya yer anya

864) ames is a babe, confirmed

865) Schemer confirmed Two-Face

866) Disco Crane will haunt your dreams

867) Some Katies just want to watch the world burn

868) Schemer is a pure bean

869) Rip Jervi Colony 2k17

870) Dark Leo show us the forbidden pimp oswald

871) COTTON EYE JONNO

872) sameo leo - Ames, definitely

873) S K I N R I M

874) Team Lazarus; The Support group that came out of nowhere

875) Team Lazarus; Support Group

876) Lame Senior Pranks

877) why are cats meow so small

878) GET RIGGETY RIGGETY REKT, SPOOP LORD

879) Team Lazarus, Home of the Mysterious Cryptidrew

880) Green Man Yells at Drop Bears

881) #freethetiddy

882) YELLOW LANTERN DISCO CRANE

883) HE SQUEAK

884) MOTHERFUCKING DUCKLINGS

885) One Gay Family

886) We Are All Shook

887) Everyones moving to Earth 24 to join the JLC sorry

888) LET ME ADOPT UR CATS BROWN OR @ LEAST TELL EM I LOVE EM

889) SEVEN NATION AMY

890) SPLOOTING

891) WHERE'S OS-WALDO

892) Avacado Bears

893) Avacado Bears or Thunder Whales

894) o canada, our home and native land, true patriot love, w fear gas in our hand

895) "It's tiptoe time bicth"

886) "Feels good feels organic"

887) Ralph The Hero We Need But Don't Deserve

888) Team Lazarus Team Mom

889) Ames, this is an intervention

890) When your alter ego calls you daddy 🤔🤔🤔🤔👅?👅?👀👀👀👀👊👊👊💦💦💦¿¿¿¿

891) KNOCK KNOC FUCKERS EGGHEAD IS HERE

892) PROTECT RIDDLER AT ALL COST

893) Episode 3 of Season 9 - Zsasz Accidentally Joins A Cult

894) sppok

895) FUCK FATHER

896) Team Dank Meh-mehs

897) Frying Pan Padre

898) frying pan pa

899) frying pan pad

900) frying pan padre

901) Running Start

902) Media Murderer

903) Nut of the Tree

904) Time to Kinkshame Canada

905) Team Lazarus Contemplate Dating

906) Eleka Nahmen Nahmen Ah Tum Ah Tum Eleka Nahmen

907) ILLUMINABEE CONFIRMED

908) dream daddy has ruined my life.

909) sure thing Brown

910) EGG BABE

911) Dorkham Asylum

912) Just Gods, being Bros

913) take a goddamn bath, Sylvester

914) no

915) the gang

916) "On April 19th, I made bread."

917) Leeroy Jyingkins

918) bllaahhhh

919) #ProtectFemaleCharactersInDraculaAndItsAdaptations2K17

920) And then we see Lindsey screaming because this is so fucking awesome

921) What the heckle deckle did you just diddly done say about me, you little nerd? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Meme Team, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on The Captor, and I have over 3 confirmed riddle solves. I am trained in online research and I’m the top blogger in the entire codot army. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you clean out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my diddly words. You think you can get away with saying that lie to me over the Internet? Think again, meanie. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across Team Lazarus and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your riddleS. You’re dead, Hush. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can out meme you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in internrt combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of Google and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable hints off the face of the continent, you little twerp.  If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” kidnapping was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your undank memes.. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you snake.  I will rain puns all over you and you will drown in it. You’re dead, you viper.

922) Y'ALL'RE KILLIN' MY POOR PHONE

923) Are we at tittle 1000 yet?

924) Plz watch young pope so i can talk abt it

925) *OFFENDED BAND KID NOISES*

926) *OFFENDED BAND KID NOISES AND CLARINET SQUEAKING*

927) *OFFENDED BAND KID NOISES AND CLARINET SQUEAKING AND SPIT VALVE GURGLING*

928) 'My room smells like fresh linens and Jesus' - My sister, 2k17

929)The question for some fucking Tim Hortons

930) The quest for some fucking Tim Hortons

931) Send a healer to Ames b4 she dies

932) Education Conversion Class

933) Shhhh he's sleeping

934) "Murder probably"

935) orf chumps

936) orc chumps

937) Protect the Orcs, their doing their best

938) Protect the Orc chumps, their doing their best

939) Protect the Orc chumps, they're doing their best

940) Team Lazarus; The Fellowship of the Riddle

941) awkward potato club

942) WORSHIP HIM FOOLS

943) Puzzle Me Like One of You French Boys

944) Puzzle Me Like One of Your French Boys

945) Make Amy the Wine Aunt 2k17

946) The Homeowners Guide to Homicide by Zsasz

947) Fre Sha Vaca Drew

948)  all i want is pizza and tea

949) diggy dig

950) rip NON's teeth

951) IT's thE FINAL COUNTDOWNNN

952) Spooky Scary Kaitons

953) Aardvark v Anteater: Battle of the Cute

954) Compromise: Red Panda

955) WOOHOO YEAH EMMA LOOK AT THIS TALENTED BEAN

956) What the fuck are vampire laws?

957) AMES IS A CRYPTID BORN IN A FIELD

958) SHIA SURPRISE

959) TODAY NON WAS BORN

960) Everyone check put Emma's art!

961) Everyone check out Emma's art!

962) We all Love Ames

963) It's The Scarecrow, not The Grim Dino Bunny!!!

964) Let Jon be what he wnats 2k17

965) Jonathan can do better than reaping bunny dinosaur! 2k17

966) If Jonathan wants to be a reaping bunny dinosaur he can

967) Jonathan can't be both the God of Fear and a Reaping Bunny Raptor!

968) LET HIM DREAM

969) THIS AIN'T A DREAM!!!

970) Remember! Reality's an illusion, the universe is a hologram, buy gold!

971) Let's make it 9 closer, shall we!

972) 👀👀👀👀

973) Teacher Ames

974) Hello darkness my old friend

975) 🙏🏼🙏🏼 Bless this mess 🙏🏼🙏🏼

976) Friskuella 4 lyfe

977) Young just ass

978) time for tea

979) Happy Spooptober!

980) Codot is back at it again 👀👀

981) It's October and shit's bout to go down, but I want to scream about DuckTales

982) Update: Ames is as cute as ever! 👌

983) Ames expands her meme kingdom

984) Ames the hallowmeme queen

985) Meme Queen Amemes

986) Jon and Sylv #goals 😍

987) T^T Emma fails Jervis - 10/6

988) Canada is a cult #confirmed

989) Nasty Boys™

990) Celery

991) World War Tea

992) Farmer Ames vs. Poison Ivy

993) Canada is already clean

994) Frisk, liberate us from the assignments

995) I snort the gas so I can pass

996) Brown breaks down over a deleted art folder but by magic gets it back

997) #GiveScarecrowHugs2k17

998) PLEASE SAVE AMY

999) How close are we, Sassy??

1000) Operation recover pom pom

1001) TEAM LAZARUS 1001 NAMES

[dococt86]

So these the type of mens that get u ladies moist😑😑😑😑but a gay muthafucka cant live their truth without a hatin/jealous ass bitch/nigga sayin or feelin a way. That's why alot of these niggas really get bent behind yall back....but continue to let fake heterosexual, I like dick for real, self hatin, bum ass, disloyal ass, cant wipe my ass niggas. Best get yo ass on dat birth control. Reposted from @theshaderoom - TSR Staff: Thembi! @ThembiTV_ _____________________________________ #TSRClawz: Now I’m always here for some male and female grooming—hair cuts, manicures, pedicures, allathat!! With that being said, IONO about my mans and I having matching nail polish. _____________________________________ That’s neither here nor there however as these men don’t mind a little pop of color on their nails. From #Shaq to #LilUzi, there’s no stopping at just a plain manicure/grooming—they want the works!! _____________________________________ SWIPE to see all your faves that enjoy painting their nails, and let us know if you’d be down to have matching nail polish with your partner #Roommates!! 📸: @gettyimages - #regrann https://www.instagram.com/p/Bx7x0PzBl0J/?igshid=u6kijfbog1s0