#Self Care Important for Authors Too
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Time Management - Overcoming Writer's Block
Time Management - Overcoming Writer's Block
Overcoming Writerâs Block and Procrastination with Time Management Feeling stuck when faced with a blank page is a common struggle for writers. Writerâs block can be frustrating, but implementing effective time management techniques can help overcome this hurdle. By setting aside dedicated writing time in your schedule, you create a routine that encourages creativity to flow. ProcrastinationâŠ
#Free Publicity for Authors#Jolenes Book and Writers Talk Podcast#Self Care Important for Authors Too#Southern Dragon Publishing#Southern Women Crafts#Summer Time Sales On Jolenes Bookstore#Time Management - Overcoming Writer&039;s Block
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idk, its just. like. a person comes up to you with their heart cradled in their hands. says it is broken, says it hurts. places it in your hands, asks you to please make it stop and trusts you to fix it. wouldnt you be scared, too? wouldn't you be haunted by visions of you tripping and shattering it beyond repair, of driving the thing thats hurting them even further down so that maybe no one can ever get it out, of someone in their deepest darkest moment trusting you with their life and you fucking it up? how could that ever feel like anything but defusing a bomb? trust is such a valuable thing, a powerful thing, a delicate thing, and the more you have the more you get given and the more careful you have to be with it because what if someday you drop it and break it and it turns out you never should have been given it in the first place. wouldnt you be scared?
#origibberish#idk. obviously im not a therapist of any sort myself but. i do know that that essentially is the role ive been playing in uquiz convos#and im happy to help but. it does definitely start to weigh on a person#the expectation to have The Right Answer On Who You Are even though i dont really know who i am#and the knowledge that this isnt like. characters im analyzing from a bookâ these are real people with real livesâ it just. idk.#i keep having to tell people i wont just assign them a new gender and then realizing that like#the fact that im having to do that means that i. could. if i wanted to. and THAT means i have to be careful not to do it by accident either#like. people are coming to me for this bc they see me as an authority figure and if i just went 'nah you dont seem trans' then theyd.#probably listen. at least for a while#i could take the easy way out and just pick whatever answers i want but the entire point is to not do that so of course im not going to but#that doesnt stop people from wanting or expecting it#you want me to be an objective mirror impassively reflecting your true self back to you but that just. isnt possible. im sorry#there is no '''true answer''' for me to unlock for you. there is only the present and the future and what choices you make going forward.#uquibberish#<wasnt sure if i was gonna include this in the tag but. idk i think it probably is important too#i know the conversation is about you and i dont want to make it about me. but. i do want to be considered. at least a little#the disclaimer in my pinned is for yall but it is also for me
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âThe point is not âis bftc good Jason characterizationââ
Actually the point can be anything that the op of the post wants it to be. Oh you mean that is not your point. Um âŠ. Cool. Nobody asked.
#*âprovides canon proof of Jason absolutely traumatizing teens in canon*#/s#*the whopping two instances are titans tower and the Mia Dearden incident*#both of which happened around the same time as uth. effectively making Jason approximately ⊠eighteen or nineteen.#while Mia was 17 and Tim was like 16. wow how could this seasoned old man be so cruel to these literal babies#this is coming from someone who cares deeply about how different authorsâ visions for bruce can turn him into a male power fantasy#but according to this person that's technically all fanon because the authors are fans of Batman who write him how they want#<- a needlessly complicated way of saying it doesnât matter that almost every writer has written Batman as a cop symbol#because they donât agree with those authorsâ visions itâs just bad characterization#not consistency#anyway back to how any Jason fan who doesn't ascribe to your flawless interpretation of these iffy events is actually missing the point#mhm okay ignored winick showing Jason desperately saving children like three times in lost days#and other authors later wrote him being good with kids too#oh but even if he had the same trait in post crisis and n52 these characterizations are actually irreconcilable because they said so#kelseethe#for someone who seemingly cares so much about numbers and patterns#they tend to skip a lot of important panels in their âanalysesâ#like the panels in batman 650 where Jason mentioned the thousands joker killed and the friends he's crippled#and the lost days panels of him being upset about joker going on to hurt more families and fathers and sons#all this to claim Jasonâs ultimatum in utrh was entirely self-centered#I guess it just goes to show how much evidence you have to ignore/disregard to come to the conclusion that Jason is a bad person#but yeah your vision is the be all & end all and anyone who thinks otherwise isnât ~normal~
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dear god... suddenly emo about Magdalena and Isaac đąđą
#this is funny because i have so little of their relationship defined in comparison to Gioia and Benedictus#but đ„șđ€đ» thinking about isaac losing his whole family and fighting like hell to get his sister back.. it's so đ#but once he gets her back she's painfully quiet. always looking over her shoulder. and simmering with anger!#i think he struggles to reconcile the past version of her + her present self. and how to connect with her through all the muck đ€#OH.... WAIT i figured it out! just like regular bennie and gioi (fun fact. i realized her name doesn't really shorten nicely just now lol)#i think they build that strong underlying connection because isaac invests attention and care into maggie's music. he shows up to all her#recitals ykwim!.. it's a little different from B+G because isaac isn't maggie's stand-in parent for their neglectful parents.#he functionally Is maggie's parent. but I think Maggie still takes away the same love from it as gioiaâ for different but similar reasons.#I think this is so important for her too because it is. Very Difficult for Maggie to make friends because she's so shaken up..#i feel like bennie would try to get her to go therapy but she'd either refuse on the basis of not trusting authority anymore? ORâ just like#katâ they'd tell her her experiences weren't real... in any caseâ music is maggie's Only outlet. so isaac taking interest and supporting#her in that endeavorâ when she has very little elseâ would mean a lot to her. i think this all adds a level of đą to isaac and vergil's#relationship too because. originally isaac just didn't like vergil due to the whole underground rebellion schtick. that's what got his and#maggie's parents killed. BUT since Magdalena literally had no friends once she came homeâ I think Isaac is really overjoyed when she and#vergil strike up a friendshipâ since this is before Vergil's realized his true nature- the order is a collaborative thing between the two#of them after all. so at first Isaac is glad that his sister finally has a friend. andâ just like in their futureâ Vergil helps Magdalena#grow into herself and come out of her shell. so isaac likes Vergil in the beginningâ is grateful for him! plus V's his bosses/sponsor's kid#so there's a nice little đ there too. BUT THEN magdalena starts helping vergil remember things - dante - and they start#creating the Orderâ and i think Isaac feels this Great Dread. because vergil is maggie's only friend. vergil saved her!#but the things magdalena gets up to with vergil will get them killed in the future. (and it does lol!)#i think this is where the great split happens between B+G and I+Mâ because Benedictus disappeared before he had to make any Tough Parenting#Choices with Gioia. he was functionally a parent to herâ but she just saw him as her Super Cool Older Brother.#Isaac is magdalena's older brother but he's also her Guardian (derogatory) ykwim? so. i think when he puts his foot down and tries to#forbid Magdalena from doing anti-demon stuffâ which evolves into her not being allowed to see Vergilâ it causes a rift between them.#i'm not sure how severe i want the rift to be... đ by the start of the game it can't be super deep because kat has to be familiar with#isaac đ€Ș but then ig he doesn't need to know Magdalena knows her Because of the Order? kat could just be... a friend... đłđ€«#although this then begs the question of whether or not he even knows Magdalena was still involved with the Order all this time? because on#the surface Maggie's schedule really is just work work work. he doesn't have to know What her work is...#that also adds a âčïž when Magdalena goesmissingdies and then comes back possessed by a demon because it's like groundhog day for him- againâ#he could do nothing to protect his sister from the demons BUT this time it was him raising and watching herâ not their parents
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trolley problem
in which fem!reader has been gambling with her life and spencer reid is more than a little concerned
flangst, hurt/comfort warnings/tags: passive suicidal ideation from reader, she keeps risking her life, that really grinds Spencerâs gears, established relationship, existential dread, existential euphoria, lots of stuff about grief and death and self worth, not advocating for this, pretension from the author, blasphemy probably?, reader gets fuzzy from prescribed painkillers, arguing, hospital stuff, mention of sleep paralysis involving spiders, reader gets shot but sheâs fineee, I pander to intro to philosophy takers, bau!reader, neurodivergent coded reader, if sheâs not exactly like you Iâm sorry, bean soup a/n: one day youâre in a writing slump literally the next you are in your notes app for six hours writing whatever the fuck this is but I think I love it even tho itâs weird and I hope u like it too!! btw this was gonna be called cotard's syndrome but then I never once talk abt cotard's but if u care that might be interesting context for the motif of not feeling human/alive, WC 3K
Spencer hasnât spoken to you since the doctor left the room five minutes ago.Â
The air is antiseptic as you take it deep into the hollows of your lungs and trap it there for a moment, trying to optimize oxygen intake without actually having to breathe very often. Hospital smell is as universal as it is suffocating. It reeks of everything but deathâflowers, blood, bleach, vomit. A humiliating, desperate scramble to defy the very thing that defines mortality. Itâs pathetic. It reminds you of the worst instances of failure and loss and denial in your life. It curdles your blood. Literally rots you from the inside out.Â
Youâve had ample time to ponder that smell over the last few months because you keep ending up here, and some time ago you decided the institution of the hospital is inherently absurd. Itâs stupid to think you could avoid the one absolute condition on your corporeal form: impermanence. It is the only thing that is promised, and people still waste their lives away running from it. It is the ultimate self-fulfilling prophecy.Â
So around the time you acknowledged that hospitals are simply monuments to the self-importance of man, you gave up on trying too hard to preserve yourself. Youâve seen death too much and too often. Youâve tried staving it off with prayer and the miracles of modern medicine, and it never matters in the end because itâs all magical thinking anyway. All the wallowing and the bargaining and pleading never got you anywhere.Â
Youâve accepted that from the moment you were born, you were marked for death.Â
But youâre not a complete nihilist. Youâre not even totally resigned to the abject certainty of deathâbecause youâve found a loophole.
Everyone has as many chances at escaping death as other people are willing to offer them at the cost of their own lives. Not many people are willing to make that tradeâsomeone elseâs life for their ownâbut youâve decided you are. Because if not you, then who?
Itâs not that you donât see the value in your own life, as Spencer keeps making it sound. Itâs just the opposite. You understand that youâve got an extremely valuable resource, and you donât just have to sit on it. There are things you can do. Choices you can make. Ways to defy death.Â
Just⊠not yours.Â
Or maybe youâre just in deep denial.Â
Either wayâthis is a philosophy your boyfriend intentionally refuses to understand. He gets mad, or some kind of upset, every time you try to explain it. Usually he ends up leaving the room close to tears. You never feel good about it.
Right now heâs presumably trying to give you the silent treatment and not doing a very good job.Â
âStop holding your breath. Why are youâstop that.â
Spencerâs frowning, skin sallow and milk-blue under fluorescent lighting. Purple seeps from around his eyes like spilled wine on a white table cloth. Your stomach turns.Â
âSorry.â
He doesnât tell you not to apologize. You donât expect him to.Â
âWhy are you doing that? Does something hurt?â
Other than your entire bicep being on fire due to the 9 millimeter Luger it recently came into contact with?
âNot really. I just donât like the smell of hospitals.â
At that, he gets stony again. Like, Medusa stony. You feel a tightening in your chest that has nothing to do with a lack of air. His arms are crossed. A silk lined blazer drapes over your lap, and you wonder if heâs cold in just that white button up. Itâs translucent in this light, like onion skin, or maybe something less organicâthe folds and wrinkles look like fabric, but lots of things look like something they arenât. In the PietĂĄ, Jesus lounges dead on his motherâs lap, his cheek pressed to her arm like either of them have warm flesh, and her skirts drape from her knees and fall to the ground in delicate folds just like Spencerâs jacket and looking at pictures of it you swear you could find comfort there tooâbut if you wanted to make space for yourself next to Jesus youâd have to do it with a chisel and mallet. Youâre starting to think thatâs what itâs going to take with Spencer, as well.Â
âSo stop walking into active gunfire. Youâll spend a lot less time here.â
Every deep sigh (of which there have been several) calcifies you further. Ironically, you never feel less alive than you do in a hospital.Â
âI didnât walk into active gââ
âIâm not debating it with you. Itâs not a discussion.â
âSo youâre just going to be pissed at me for the rest of forever? I mean, if itâs not a discussionâwhat are you gonna do? Break up with me?â
You feel yourself dripping poison in the well. Even as you say it. As his head tilts toward you slowly and intently from his spot against the wall, and his warning gaze is cold and unforgiving and weighs 3.35 tons.
âDonât.â
âDonât what? Talk?â
âDonât try and manipulate me by implying that there are no options between permissiveness and dumping you!â
âIâm not manipulating you. And I donât need your permission to do anything.âÂ
The first part is an incredulous scoff as well as a blatant lie. You are manipulating him. Chisel and all. At least, you were trying to. It clearly doesnât work very well. His jaw clenches. Â
âIs this worth it to you? Fighting with me like weâre children solely so you donât have to take accountability?â
âAccountability for what? I made a choice. I donât regret it. Youâre upset because I did my job.â
A beat.Â
Silence always makes you feel the gravity of your words.Â
âDo you believe that?â
His voice softens so much, so quickly, it splinters down the middle.Â
Youâve never been known for your light touch. For someone who sees eviscerated bodies nearly every day, and prides herself on her evolved understanding of mortality, you often forget other people are not, in fact, impenetrable marbleâthey are flesh and blood and bone, and youâve splattered yourself in the evidence of that.Â
âWhat?â You murmur. You easily turn timid, when youâre afraid youâve been too heavy-handed. Spencerâs seen you sob over the birds who hit the windowpane and never reappeared from the shrubberyâtheir delicate wings, their little beaksâhe didnât mean to, Spencer, and now heâs dead! Heâs seen you spend forty minutes catching a spider with a cup and an envelope rather than smush it, even though you have reoccurring episodes of sleep paralysis wherein a giant arachnid is sitting on your chest, hissing and clacking its pincers. He knows you are, at your core, kind and good.Â
Itâs a little scary for someone to know that about you. Itâs a little scary when you see your own vulnerability reflected in their eyes and the way they speak to you, the way you see it in him now.Â
âDo you believe that the choices you make regarding your safety donât concern me at all?â
âTheyâre⊠my choices to make,â you whisper, but youâre less sure than you were a minute ago.Â
âIâm not talking about thatâIâm talking about how it feels like you are trying to kill yourself every time weâre in the field.â His voice shakes. You swallow. âYou have been hospitalized for four serious injuries sustained on the job in the past five months. Every time I bring it up, youâyou talk about life like itâs optional for you. Like youâre not only willing to give it up but are actively looking to throw yourself in harmâs way every chance you get. You think that doesnât terrify me?â
Thereâs a small chip in the paint on the wall next to him roughly the shape of Africa.Â
âItâs not like that. Iâm⊠Iâm just having an unlucky streak.â
He snaps.Â
âLuck isnât going to get between you and a bullet. Ever.â
âItâs my job, Spencer.â
âNo. It is a risk of the job. Not a defining feature or requirement. But you keep running toward gunfire like you have a quota to meet.â
âSpencer, Iâm not doing it at you. Iâm not trying to get myself hurt.â
âWell it doesnât really feel like youâre trying to avoid it, either,â he shoots back immediately, and you feel the anguish radiating from him until it lodges in your own chest, like it was always yours. Maybe it was.Â
You want to make it better, but you donât know how, and even if you did, heâs pushing off the wall and crossing the room toward the door.Â
âWhere are you going?â You call, a little too desperately for your liking.Â
âYou need to eat something.â
Which translates roughly to heâs pissed and upset and he needs to leave the room. Youâve done this song and dance before.Â
However, food and an absence of him are contenders for the absolute last two things you want right now.Â
âSpencer, please donâtââ
But the door is already whooshing closed.Â
You stare at the grey and white checkered floor. Light bounces off the waxen reflectionâsome sort of parallel universe you canât reach, perhaps. The whole room is desaturated. A mechanical humming threatens to drive you insane. It doesnât feel like a place for living humans. Youâre not convinced you are one.Â
When he comes back, maybe ten minutes later, nothingâs moved at all. In fact youâre not even sure youâve been breathing.Â
The door closes as quietly as it opens.Â
This time, wordlessly, Spencer comes to you. You see his shoes firstâhis serious adult shoes. You wish he was wearing his Converse.Â
Then you see the bottle of apple juice heâs cracking open for you. Blue lid. Same kind you always get.Â
âYou didnât bring food.â
âYou wouldnât have eaten it.â
Fair enough.Â
You take the bottle with your good arm and sip shallowlyâall that adrenaline and the subsequent interpersonal strife has left you nauseous. The drink is too sweet. It clashes with the tang of metal in your mouth.Â
Still, you drink enough to satisfy him, and then youâre tossing his jacket aside before balancing the bottle between your thighs so you can screw the lid back on. He doesnât go back to the couch or his spot on the wall.Â
Spencer doesnât pull away when you lean into him, but it does take him a moment to reciprocate. Youâre still grateful all the same when he cradles the back of your head to his stomach like youâre made of porcelain.Â
âI donât think you understand how upset I am,â he says quietly.Â
Only Spencer Reid could be furious with you and still hold you like this.Â
âIâm sorry,â you murmur.Â
âThatâs not good enough. You need to stop risking your life like that.â
He doesnât get it. Your brows flutter as they try to furrow but even holding that expression saps you. Maybe the pain meds are finally kicking in.Â
âI just wanna help people.â
âThat doesnât explain to me or justify your urge to do it at the cost of your own life. We all want to help people, angel. The whole team. Thatâs why we do what we do. But we donât run into shootouts. We donât split off and provoke people with guns when weâre unarmed and unprepared.â
âBut it worked. She got away.â You feel a spark of fulfillment at the memory of Gloria Sanchez in JJâs arms just before the ambulance doors had slammed you into your first cage of the night.Â
âWe donât know if he was going to kill her. He might notâve fired at all if you didnât go running toward him. That wasnât strategic, it was reckless and irresponsible and you know that. I know you do. So something else is going on.â
The pressure in your nose that usually precipitates tears comes as a surprise.Â
âI justâif thatâs how I can save someone, why shouldnât I, you know? Why do they have less of a right to live than I do just because theyâve been deprived of the choice? If I have a choice, and they donât, I should choose to⊠to help them. Thatâs my job.â
For a long moment, you listen to your own breath, muffled by Spencerâs shirt, and the mechanical humming, and something dripping, and the low, buzzy chatter of nurses far down the hallway.
When Spencer next speaks you get the sense heâs holding a lot back. His voice is taut enough it wavers slightly. Taut enough that if he werenât speaking so quietly he might be yelling. Itâs like pinpricks all over your bodyânot enough to hurt, but enough to make sure youâre paying attention.Â
âYou canât help anyone if youâre dead. Do you understand me?â
And yes, in theory, you do. But that doesnât negate your original point. It only takes one life or death moment for you to utilize the most valuable resource you have. What happens after is no longer your concern.Â
âOn the psych evals you helped develop it asks if you think itâs appropriate to sacrifice the one to save the many. The answer is supposed to be no. If you say yes you get flagged. The FBI frowns upon⊠lever-pullers. And thatâs exactly what Iâm doing if I let one person die when I couldâve potentially saved them.â
âProtecting your own life is not pulling the lever. What youâre doing isnât smart or morally righteous. Youâre just throwing yourself across the tracks, too. If you were to fail a psych eval right now it would be because youâre passively suicidal. And you know what? The FBI also tends to frown upon self-immolative delusions of grandeur and girls who like to play sacrificial lamb.â
ââM not a⊠sacrificial lambâŠâ
âNo,â Spencer agrees quietly, stroking your hair. âYouâre not.â
And you canât react to the fragility in his voice, or the content of his words, and the fact that when he says it he means something differentâyou canât do anything about it. You can only catalogue it. You can only know that he loves you, and feel a little guilty about it.
Some time passes. You donât know how long he remains standing so you can doze against him. He does not smell like the hospital. Heâs the antidote for whatever grief they distill from widows and orphans before aerosolizing it through the whole place.Â
âBaby?â He asks eventually. You know the lilt of it. Heâs been thinking.Â
âHm?â
He hesitates.Â
âCan we talk about you maybe taking some time off of work?â
âYou heard the boss,â you mumble. âI canât come in for at least a week.â
âI mean beyond that.â
You intend to respond, but by the time you open your mouth youâve lost the prompt in all the brain fog.Â
âYouâre so comfy,â you murmur dreamily. âThank you for being mad at me.â
If he responds, you miss it.Â
Youâre imagining the bed waiting for you at home, once the doctor is done observing youâwarm, neatly made. Blankets woven with soft fibers. A mattress that will sink under your weight. You think of Spencer, whoâs shaping himself to you, Spencer, who intentionally inhales when you exhale at night to make room for the rise and fall of your chest against his. You think of the imprint of his buttons on your cheek. You are both flesh and blood and bone.Â
Strange, pill-induced half dreams and visions and memories take over. Youâre in that alleyway again. That man fires. You donât blink or scream or feel.Â
Just before the bullet makes contact youâre standing in front of the PietĂĄ. Itâs massive. Spencer is there, too, holding your hand.Â
You canât actually see him, only, you know heâs there. You feel his warmth, his presence, when he leans over to whisper in your ear. The way you know him goes beyond sight.Â
The PietĂĄâmeaning the pity, in Englishâis 6â7â and six feet wide. It weighs 6,700 pounds. Michelangelo had to quarry the block of marble himself. He was only 25 when he finished. The Basilica keeps it behind bulletproof glass.Â
Jesus and Mary behind bullet proof glass.Â
God. Whoâd try to kill Jesus a third time? Heâs already dead.Â
Besidesâtheyâre both made of stone. Bullets would probably just ping right off of them. Or maybe theyâd shatter just like you did.Â
Probably not though. Youâre not actually made of marble. Youâve no idea what it feels like to be a statue and get shot at. You sure know how it feels as a human, thoughâand it feels like shit. You donât really know why you keep doing it. None of your reasons are good enough for Spencer, and heâs, generally speaking, pretty smart about some things.Â
Maybe youâre tired of being human.
Maybe youâre tired of sleeping on your arm funny and waking up to a hand in your bed that doesnât feel like yours and remembering all the hands youâve held moments before they couldnât hold yours back. Or tired of those moments where you are being held and itâs so unbelievably perfect and then someone has to let go, or when someone you love hugs you goodbye and you realize that there will always be a final I love you, or simply getting older and watching potential life paths fall away like rotten fruit to the ground. Maybe life is sometimes so good it hurts and you canât bear it. So you tempt fate. You walk a tightrope because even if you fall and it canât ever feel good againâat least it canât hurt either. At least you wonât lose anymore.Â
And yet.Â
It does feel good, sometimes. Sort of often, actually. Even when itâs awful.Â
Dead Jesus and Mary, with their marble skin and their bulletproof glass and their holiness and their virginity and all the other things they have that you donât. Nobody can hurt them anymore. Not ever.Â
Maybe thatâs something you envy.
But you doubt theyâve ever been so terribly, wonderfully alive as youâve been, or as comfortable as you are like this, leaning into Spencerâs warmth and his softness, in the hospital, or the Vatican, or your dreams. Your bicep was ruined but itâs healing. You are capable of ruin and rebirth in the same lifetime. In the same day, in the same hour.Â
You doubt that in 520 years, behind bulletproof glass and unyielding, eternally flawless skin, theyâve ever felt as invincible as you do now.Â
You doubt they ever could.Â
#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid fic#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid x you#spencer reid angst#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds imagine#criminal minds fic#criminal minds fanfic
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Okay yeah on one hand, my gender and sexuality and mental health has nothing to do with doing my job, so I get how announcing my identity and who I am / am not attracted to could be considered as "Inappropriate for the workplace".
That said, everyone who sees me (gestures to cis-passing, straight-passing, masking neuroatypical self in gender-conforming work clothing) and assumes, in the back of their head by default, that I'm a straight cis allo neurotypical person, so the topic has already kinda been brought up in a way. My saying "actually, no" isn't so much an abrupt announcement as it is correction of an assumption.
And correcting those assumptions is important, especially for persons like me who occupy positions of authority, who appear in court and in community conferences, with business owners and CEOs and at-risk members of the public, 'cause when I say, "these are my pronouns, I'm this" then people like me can feel safer, and people who aren't like me get to see that one of us exists in the real world and isn't some scary hypothetical phantom.
And in the future, when someone says "you can always tell who's trans" or "autistics can't hold down real jobs" or "bisexuals are flirty and promiscuous by nature" or "asexuals aren't real, they're just basement-dwelling terminally-online tweens", they can remember that one time they met me in a professional setting where I was who I was and the world didn't end.
So when they see someone who, by chance, does match the image of their stereotype, they'll know that's just normal human variation and not a universal role.
So, it's not so much that I want to "insert my deviance into the workplace"- it's just me saying, "look at me. I'm here. We're all here, and for every one of us you see, there's a hundred others that you don't. Because you don't know what we look like, and wouldn't know unless we told you."
The status quo, the closeted life, is, "becareful who you come out to, because you could be surrounded by enemies, and you wouldn't know until it's too late".
When I wear a pin, when I out myself in a small, subtle way, I say back: "be careful who you lash out at, because they could be surrounded by defenders, and you won't know until it's too late."
It says, "if you couldn't recognize me without this flag, then how many more of us might be out here with me?"
And the statement "you cannot attack me, we're safe here" should not be banned in the workplace
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ââ©â§âËonce more to see youËââ©â§â
{nanami x f!reader}
Ëââ©â§âsummary: You're a manager at Jujutsu Kaisen and happen to get assigned to driving a rank 1 sorcerer you've had a crush on for a while. Everything seems to be going as normal until an interaction with a curse leaves him a little hot and bothered.
Ëââ©â§âtags: nanami x fem!reader, explicit smut (mdni) !!
Ëââ©â§â word count: 5.6k
Ëââ©â§âauthor's note: this has been in my head for so long and I guess its part one to a longer story but who knows if I'll ever get around to writing it, yet alone posting it. anyways first time, kinda nervous; this is super self indulgent and i'm not even sorry about it.
Ëââ©â§âthis is also kind of inspired by this Mitski song, hence the title. I love this song, I think it's very Nanami coded<3
Ëââ©â§âall parts here! pt 2. pt 3. pt 4. pt 5.
âąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâą
An obsession.Â
Thatâs what it was.Â
A rush of emotion when you caught even the smallest glance of him.Â
Always in a hurry.Â
Always somewhere to be.Â
Never paying any mind to you.Â
This lifestyle was a rushed one and you hardly ever found time for yourself, but your mind always seemed to have a second to wonder about him.Â
Was he safe? Was he injured?
You had heard about him through others.Â
You had really only seen him in action from a distance, once, and very briefly. But that had been enough to develop this stupid crush.Â
You were a busy body, nothing but a cushion to the real missions of importance.Â
You had come to accept that you would never really matter past making it from point A to point B, with whatever message you had to deliver, or whoever you had to transport for the day.Â
You were secretly content with the position. You had started because you wanted to make a difference.Â
But you knew you were a coward.Â
You had the spirit but lacked the physical strength to back it. And that made you afraid.Â
âNanami Kento.âÂ
Your hand stopped mid air as you reached for your phone.Â
âIâm sorry?â You must have misheard.Â
âYou owe me one.â Akari said with a smirk. The head manager had been one of your closest friends since you had begun working as an assistant. You had similar pasts and were around the same age, so you had instantly clicked. She was very much aware of your infatuation even if you hadnât directly expressed it. She could see right through you every time you tried to feign indifference whenever the topic of Nanami was brought up.Â
âNanami needs transportation to his next mission. He usually goes on his own, but the client insisted he gets driven to this location specifically.â There was something suspicious about that last statement, but you dismissed it as she kept talking. âIjichi is busy dealing with something so it was passed down to me.â She smiled again and shrugged. âBut I have some very important business to take care of so Iâm passing it on to someone I trust is more than qualified to drive a sorcerer of his class.â She winked at you. âDonât worry about the briefing heâs been sent all the information. All you have to do is drive him there and back.âÂ
You looked down at your phone and tried to act nonchalant. Until you saw the details. âToday?âÂ
She nodded. âSorry for the last minute switch up, I figured youâd get in your own head if you had too much time to think about it. Make a good first impression. Iâm rooting for you!â She gave you two thumbs up and laughed.Â
You tapped your finger against the wheel nervously. You had never been more nervous to drive. Itâs okay, you thought to yourself, nothing is going to happen, I doubt heâll even speak to me. Heâs not much of a talker, and besides, he always carries around a newspaper or a book. He wonât be paying attention to me. Just focus on-
You flinched as you heard the passenger door open. You had expected him to sit behind you.Â
You felt your stomach drop as Nanami was suddenly next to you. It was almost overwhelming, his size, his smell, his warmth.Â
You stared ahead awkwardly and felt his gaze on you. You turned to look at him trying not to seem too flustered.Â
âAh, good afternoon.â You smiled warmly at him. âUm, Iâm y/n.â You said.Â
He nodded and didnât say anything back.Â
âRight, it should take us around 36 minutes to get to your location.âÂ
He nodded again, his glasses turning to his watch. He suddenly looked up and stared ahead, as to signal that he was ready to head out.
This was so awkward. It was kind of making it easier to be around him. You didnât know what else you expected. Youâd actually preferred the silence rather than trying to carry a conversation with him. At least thatâs what you were telling yourself.Â
âFeel free to mess with the radio. I donât have any preferences.âÂ
âI prefer to sit in silence before missions.â His voice sent a chill up your spine. Wait a minute, in silence? Weird. You thought to yourself. âIs that okay?âÂ
âYes, thatâs fine too.â Really weird. Most sorcerers would listen to something to amp them up before a mission. For Kusabe that was smooth Jazz, Yuki would put on 80âs Japanese Rock Classics, Ino would put on Ska and you couldnât help but laugh the first time he requested it. You smirked at the memory and felt his eyes on you again. You dropped the smile and clenched your jaw. âAlright, weâll be off then.â He hadnât stopped staring. You quickly turned to look at him and smiled warmly. He turned away, seeming flustered. You quickly made a note of his reaction and you felt your stomach flutter a bit. You let your eyes linger on him for a bit longer, as he tugged at an invisible string on his suit, before turning away and driving off.Â
-
You arrived at your location and looked up at the old building. You bit your lip to hold back a laugh. The crooked neon sign over the door was no longer lit up but you could still read out what it said, âParadise X Massage.â You curiously looked over to see Nanamiâs reaction. As usual, he was stoic.Â
He has to know what that means, right? You went around the car to stand next to him and the moment you took a step closer you felt the aura of the building. A shiver went up your spine and your stomach felt tingly. You couldnât help but smile. A curse born from a place of sex was bound to have this kind of aura.Â
Things started to click. Of course Nanami was the best sorcerer for the job. He would take this very seriously. You doubted he ever let his emotions get ahead of him. You thought back to a story Ijichi had told you a long time ago about a group of male sorcerers that had been sent to exorcise a type of Kejoro, only for them to return unsuccessful, unable to carry out the mission, as well as being hot and bothered for a week.Â
You felt Nanamiâs eyes on you again. You looked at him before turning back at the sign and scrunching your face. âNanami, I wouldnât have taken you for this type of man, but donât worry I wonât tell.â You winked at him and cringed at your stupid joke. You didnât know him like that. He probably thought you were insane.Â
âThank you, I try not to make it a habit.â He said back with a small smile.Â
You looked at him a little surprised and laughed.Â
âThere you are, hello!â A sweaty man with beady eyes came your way and beelined to Nanami. âMy name is Gonji, I was the one who sent for you.â He glanced at your direction before turning his back to you to speak with Nanami. You blinked and grimaced. âI bought this location five months ago, I should have known there was something wrong for the price I paid, but hey! Thatâs business! Iâm planning on fixing her up and turning it into a real refined establishment if you know what I mean. I already have the clientele, and the girls but this damn thing keeps scaring the girls away and-â he whispered the next words. â-killed three of my guys. But hey, thatâs business!â He laughed nervously. He was talking a mile a minute, becoming more and more sweaty. The air had to be getting to him. âAnyway Iâve already called a bunch of weirdos to go in there and kill the damn thing but they were all useless. Scammers all of them.â He spat at the ground. âHey if ya help me out, Iâm sure we can work out some sort of discount for you once weâre up and running. What do you say, your choice of girl-âÂ
âHas it taken any hostages?â Nanami cut him off.Â
âNo it only scares off the girls, but lets them out. The men on the other handâŠIf they do manage to make it out they act like wild animals. I have to keep them away from my girls.â He laughed and then erupted into a coughing fit. âThatâs why I recommend you bring a driver. Even if you do kill this thing, the tent in your pants wonât let you focus on anything else for another two hours.â He cackled and elbowed Nanami in a playful manner. Nanamiâs jaw clenched and he stared down at the man. Gonji didnât seem to notice. He finally turned towards you. âWell at least you brought yourself a cute mouse to play with if it gets to be too much.â You couldnât hide the look of disgust on your face when he finally looked at you. âHey there little lady, a smile might help.â He rolled his eyes and turned back to Nanami. âWomen these days. Canât take a joke.â He tried elbowing Nanami again and was stopped by Nanamiâs large hand grabbing his forearm.Â
âWeâll get started. Did you want to go inside with me?â Nanami asked the man.Â
Gonji pulled his arm out of Nanamiâs grasp and swore at him under his breath. âNo, Iâm taking off. I have places to go, people to see, although Iâd pay god knows what to see that bitchâs blood spilled on the floor.â He looked around and picked up a rock before weakly throwing it at the sign. He missed, it didnât even hit the wall. He messed with his jacket, embarrassed. âIâll be leaving now. Iâll send the payment tomorrow when I come and see the place again.â He waddled off.Â
âWhat a fucking dickhead.â You said. âWe shouldnât even exorcise this curse. He shouldnât be allowed to run a place like that. Iâm willing to bet-âÂ
âWill you put up the barrier?â You turned back to Nanami and nodded before muttering the incantation. Nanami awkwardly placed a hand on your shoulder. âIâm sorry you had to hear that.â He turned towards the barrier. âFor the record I agree. Scum like him are a scourge to society and should be dealt with accordingly. For now letâs bring this curse some peace.â
âLetâs.â You said in agreement. You watched him disappear into the veil. Â
-
You leaned back against the car and checked the time on your watch. He had been gone for 20 minutes now. You sighed. Was it an insult to worry about him? He was one of the best - in your heavily biased opinion.Â
   You heard your phone ding from inside the car as you received a message and you quickly went around to check it. Â
    -So whenâs the wedding?Â
Akari was checking in on you.Â
   -answer me this, what does it mean when someone doesnât want to listen to any music on a 30 minute drive.Â
   -No music? Like at all?    -none.   -weird.Â
   -thatâs what I was thinking! he must be fighting demons in his head.    -or he just wanted to savor every minute with you<3    -shut up.    -howâs it going anyway?    -donât you have âimportantâ business to take care of?    -:p boooo    -itâs fine, itâs some sort of sex cu-
You jumped as the back passenger door to your right was suddenly being opened. You felt the car shake as Nanami collapsed into the seats. Â
âShit, Nanami? Are you okay.â You should have been out there to greet him. You exited out of the car and dropped the veil. The building was a pile of rubble. You made your way around the car and yanked open the door.Â
You felt blood rush to your face and your jaw dropped as you looked at what lay in front of you.Â
Nanami had taken off his suit jacket, and was no longer wearing his glasses. He was suddenly desperately undoing his tie and fumbling with the buttons on his shirt, all the while breathing heavily. He turned away from you as you looked in. Â
âWhatâs wrong, are you injured? How can I help?â Your face felt hot as you watched him struggle with his clothes. You hesitated to move forward, unsure what to do.Â
He moved around a bit more, still struggling with his shirt, and you got a better look at him. His face was flush red and there was a slight sheen of sweat on his forehead. He was panting, basically gasping for air. You stared at him feeling a burning in your chest as your heart beat in your ears.Â
You snapped out of your trance, this was not the time. He might be hurt. He had backed up enough to be leaning on the opposite car door so you moved forward and let the door shut behind you. âLet me help you with that.â You said softly, moving your hands closer to help him with the buttons. âAre you hurt?â You asked as he let out a soft grunt. âLet me take a look.â His hands fell to his side and you noticed he was gripping the seats. He winced away from your touch, hissing as your knee touched his thigh.Â
You froze. Your hands still on his shirt. He shuddered away from you but you felt him move his thigh forward, slightly, to touch your knee again. He let out a deep exhale and a muffled grunt. He repeated the movement again and again. You stayed there staring at him, face burning as you realized he was basically humping you. His breaths got faster and you felt the ghost of his hand on your back slowly pulling you closer. His inner thigh was now pushing into your knee repeatedly and you felt him slightly buckle his hips as his hand finally landed on your neck and pulled you forward. Your hands, still on his shirt buttons, pushed lightly against his chest and your head fell into the space above his shoulder, cheeks now next to each other. He pushed hard against your knee one more time and then you heard him moan deeply into your ear.Â
âFuck.â You heard him mutter. His voice was full of frustration. âFuck.â He said again.Â
You slowly pulled back, looking at him, completely in shock. He wasnât meeting your gaze. He just kept muttering âfuckâ and âsorryâ under his breath.Â
You looked down and once again felt blood rush to your face as you realized what had happened.Â
Since his body was leaned back against the door, you had crawled closer to him and were now on your knees between his legs. You guessed at some point he had managed to undo his belt, the button to his trousers, and pulled down the zipper because you were staring at his erection through the fabric of his underwear. It was soaked.Â
You quickly pulled back away from him, somewhat losing your balance and placing your hands back down to steady yourself. Nanami lurched up as you placed your hands on his thighs and you watched as he came again. This time seeing the white liquid bleed through the fabric and drip down.Â
âI- I am so sorry.â You said quickly and started to back away. You needed to leave him alone. One of his hands grabbed onto your arm keeping you in place. You looked at him confused.Â
âNo, stop,â he said, panting. âIâm sorry,â he said, finally looking into your eyes. âIâm sorry. Fuck, I apologize. This is bad. I can't control-â he squeezed your arm a little as his eyes shut and his brows knit together. âI need...â he looked into your eyes and slowly moved closer to you. His face was inches away and you felt the warmth radiating off of him. He looked directly at you now and seemed to be looking for some sort of sign. His eyes were beautiful. You realized this was the first time you had seen them. âPleaseâŠâ You continued to stare at him, in shock. He wriggled beneath you and let out a soft moan. âI need you.âÂ
You understood.Â
You quickly moved closer to him, crashing your lips into his. He moaned into your mouth and desperately pressed his lips to yours. You pushed your tongue through his closed lips and he slightly opened his mouth meeting you with his own tongue. You let him slither his in yours before closing your mouth and tugging at his lips slightly. When you finally pulled back you were both panting heavily, a string of saliva connecting you. You looked down and saw he had come again.Â
âY/N, please,â he took your hand and pulled it towards him. âI wantâŠâ you looked at him and smirked. Your eyes wandered down as he groaned again.Â
âWhat do you want?â You said mischievously. You looked back up.Â
âPlease.â You had intended to tease him, but he looked so distraught and frazzled, you felt it would be too mean spirited. You nodded and let his hand guide you to his pants. You laid your hand down gently over him and felt him twitch underneath you. He groaned and you felt your face burn up again. This was happening.Â
âIâll-Iâll help you out, donât worry.â You said nervously. You pressed down and his hips jutted into your hand. Your chest felt fluttery as your eyes were glued down to your hand and his member twitching beneath it. You smiled a little and clenched your thighs together. Focus. You were all talk. You tried to hide your nerves as you slowly wrapped your fingers around his clothed cock. He tried to suppress a moan as he shuddered underneath you. You watched the discoloration in his underwear spread as more fluid leaked out. âWow.âÂ
He suddenly pulled your face closer to him and kissed you. He was desperate for contact, moaning into your mouth as he used his free hand to pull down the band of his underwear and you gasped as you felt his hot skin in your hand.Â
You opened your eyes to try to sneak a peek but his right hand was buried in your hair, keeping you in place to make out with him. You kept your fingers together and wrapped around him as he thrust his hips forward, sliding between your curled fingers easily. He tugged at your bottom lip with his teeth as you felt him wrap a hand around yours, guiding you to stroke him. His breath shuddered at the feeling and he pulled you closer again. You moved your free hand to steady yourself as you leaned over him.Â
He looked up at you and you saw fire burning in his eyes. He suddenly moved your hand away from his dick and placed his hands on your hips lifting you slightly so he could readjust himself under you. You were straddling him. He watched you carefully as he gently rocked his hips up between your legs and moved his hands up to go under your shirt. He waited patiently for your approval. You nodded and his hands slithered up your shirt to cup your breasts. You gasped as he roughly kneaded you and you started to undo the buttons on your shirt. Nanami decided you werenât fast enough and ripped the shirt off of you. You didnât have time to process past the sound of fabric ripping because he sat up and kissed you again.Â
His hands moved impatiently all over your body as he pulled you closer. He was rough, but not in an aggressive way, he was impatient. You suddenly felt his fingers work their way into the waistband of your pants and you moved your hands to stop him. He looked up at you and stopped moving. He stared silently, still breathing heavily. âWould you like me⊠to stop?â He asked.Â
You looked down at him and took a moment to assess the situation. Nanami was half naked laying under you. His shirt was now off revealing his toned chest and abdomen. You finally looked down and saw his dick. Wide and long, the bright red tip was leaning right and radiating heat. Your mouth watered. And you lightly moved your hips forward to feel it push against your core.Â
âIs there a problem?â He asked.Â
You hesitated to answer him. How embarrassing, you thought to yourself, this is probably going to hurt. Would he stop if you told him you were a virgin? Maybe it would be for the best. You could feel yourself soaking through your underwear, but would that be enough? He was big. You looked back up at him and opened your mouth to speak. You met his eyes and you blushed. His hair was tousled, skin pink and flush and of course he was breathing deeply. You noticed something on the side of his neck. A cut. It was a puncture wound, no bigger than your pinky nail, but it looked deep.Â
âYouâre injured.â You put your hand up to it and carefully examined it. It was emoting cursed energy and everything clicked. He might have defeated the curse in the building but she had gotten a good lick in. You put your hand over it to heal him.Â
You werenât good at much, but your ability to use a tiny amount of RCT had been your saving grace. Not that you were very good at it. You could really only handle superficial wounds like this one.Â
Suddenly his hand grabbed your wrist and pulled it away. âLater,â he said. You stared at him confused. âI want to finish you first.â His hips thrust upwards against your pants and you couldnât help but smile. You nodded and brought your hands down to undo the button to your pants. Nanami hissed under you as you shifted your weight around trying to pull your pants down. You were able to get one leg out and began pulling them down the other when he grabbed you quickly and settled you on top of him again. He looked up at you and you watched his eyes move down to take in your body. âAre you ready?â
You looked back at him nervously. âI-youâre so big.â You were too embarrassed to tell him it was your first time. He sat up and was suddenly inches from your face.Â
He smiled coyly and nodded. âItâs okay, I can help you.â You felt one of his hands grip your waist and the other moved down to rub your clit. Your breath shuddered and you automatically buckled your hips against his hand. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders for support. He smiled wider, amused. His fingers moved lower and he slid them between your folds to collect your arousal. You were breathing heavily, your face buried into his chest. You felt him slip a finger inside of you, slowly, you felt him push up against you as far as he could go before there was a slight pop.Â
A moan escaped your lips as he pushed his finger deeper. âFuck,â he muttered. âYouâre so tight.â You felt him drag his finger out, âIâm adding another one, okay?â You nodded lost in bliss. You bit your lip as you felt his fingers stretch you out again, this time sliding in a bit easier. His hands were large and his fingers long, but you knew this was easy to take compared to the real thing. Your ability to think was damped as he sped up his thrusts and his other hand slid down to rub your clit again with his thumb. You gasped and felt yourself clench onto him. You moved your hips forward desperate to feel friction. You were panting wildly and felt yourself getting close. You moved your arm down and wrapped a hand around his cock. Roughly stroking it, to repay the favor.Â
âWait-Iâm close, I-I want you inside of me.â You whispered into his ear. You could feel his heartbeat quicken as his lips crashed down on yours again.Â
âWhatever you want.â He said. He removed his fingers and you winced at the new empty feeling. Still rubbing your clit with one hand, he moved his now free hand to stop your strokes and guided himself between your legs. He thrust slowly against your folds running his cock between your thighs and your mound and you buckled your hips against him.
You smiled happily. Even if you couldnât take him, youâre sure you could come from just this. He suddenly stopped and pulled back, you looked down at his cock now gleaming, covered in your fluids. He lay back against the seat and put his hands on your hips. âNow itâs up to you,â he lifted your hips and positioned you so your cunt was hovering over him. âTake your time, if you donât think you can do it, let me know.â You felt embarrassment rush through you. Did he know?Â
âThank you.â You said meekly.Â
âIâm not trying to embarrass you,â he said softly. His hand came up and caressed your cheek. âI just donât want to hurt you.â The kindness in his eyes made your heart flutter. You nodded with new determination. You placed a hand on his chest to balance yourself as you reached down with your other one to position him in place. You thrust your hips against his tip and pushed it into your folds, watching as his jaw clenched from the feeling. You found your opening and slowly lowered yourself to allow him inside. You winced as the tip entered you and you pushed down as far as you could go. You looked down in disappointment as you realized he wasnât even half way in. You moved your hips back and forth just on his tip and he moved his hands onto your hips digging his fingers into you. He hissed and closed his eyes from the feeling.Â
âSorry.â You apologized.Â
   He opened his eyes and furrowed his brows. âDonât apologize. If thatâs all you can do, Iâll take it.â He slowly thrust his hips and you moaned. You wished you could take him further. You bit your lip, you could do it. You reached down to lead his cock further into you and you braced yourself as you pushed him in deeper. You whimpered as you felt him stretch you out and after a little resistance he slid right in with a plop. He pulled you closer and bucked his hips slightly as he felt you wrapped around him. Pulsing from the new feeling. You winced as he moved. He was so big. You looked up at him and his face was pure bliss. His mouth was slightly open and his eyes closed, brows furrowed. âShit,â he muttered. âYouâre so tight around me.â He looked up at you. âIs this your first-â you cut him off with a kiss. You winced at the sensation of him inside of you but suddenly moaned as he pushed up and you felt him reach a spot deep inside of you. You gasped as he thrust and hit it again.Â
âThere, right there, please.â You said desperately. He smiled and began thrusting his hips upwards satisfied every time he saw your face scrunch when he hit that spot. His hands moved back to your ass and he spread your cheeks out allowing himself to go just a little bit deeper. You let out a yelp as he now directly hit that spot inside of you.Â
âGood girl, youâre taking me so wellâ. He said. You smiled lazily and kissed him. He slowed his pace a bit as he moved his hand down to rub your clit again. He had seen how much you had liked it and wanted you to finish soon. The feeling of you clamping down on him was going to make him cum soon, too. You let out a heavenly moan as he started to rub you.Â
Your hips moved down on their own as you rode him. âNanami! Fuck!â You whined as you bounced over him. You pulled him closer to you to make out and he began to move his hips in opposition to yours. You gasped as you felt him reach deep inside of you, and you wanted more, you felt your climax building up as you desperately pushed against him. Wanting to keep him deeper. He understood and thrust sharply and rubbed your clit harder. Loud moans of his name and ungodly noises left your lips as you felt it all become too much and you suddenly felt your whole body shake vigorously as you came. You felt tears come to your eyes.Â
You had never felt this good, you felt radiant, like a blinding fire took your body and left you refreshed. You shook over him a couple of times, enjoying the feeling of your cunt pulsing on him. He had stopped moving, still buried deep inside of you so you could ride out your high. Your eyes fluttered as you looked up at him and you smiled, happier than youâd ever been. He planted a kiss on your lips.Â
âYouâre beautiful.â He said. You felt heat weld up in your stomach, he wiped your tears away softly.Â
You looked down at him and furrowed your brows. âYou didnât come.â You lifted your hips slightly and winced. âKeep going.â You blushed as you saw the white ring that had formed at the base of his cock. The opening of his pants was also covered in your slick.Â
He nodded and put a hand over your waist, quickly flipping you over and laying you down across the back seats. You were now under him and watched as he backed up, pulling his pants further down. You watched him through the V frame of your legs. Your cunt was sore and you felt like you looked a mess but when he looked back up at you, all your insecurities vanished. He took the sight of you in and you saw his dick twitch with anticipation. He came closer and while you expected him to just go in you gasped as his face went between your thighs and his lips latched onto your clit. You let out a moan. It was too much, you were still so sensitive. You grabbed his head and ran your fingers through his blonde locks. He looked up at you as he ran a stiff tongue against your folds and you shuddered. He smirked and went to town.Â
He threw your legs over his shoulders and devoured you. Your toes curled and you had to stop yourself from closing your thighs, afraid to crush him. You suddenly felt his fingers curl deep inside you as his tongue played with your bud and you yelled out, your climax hitting again. You held his head against you as you rode out your high; thrusting your hips forward, and rubbing your cunt over his entire face, his nose in particular hitting your clit and making you shudder. You let your head fall back and looked up at him. He smiled at you before backing up and lining himself up to your entrance. âAre you still okay?âÂ
You nodded, exhausted but ready for more. This had to be a dream. âWhatever you want.â You repeated back to him with a smile.
âGood girl.â He pushed himself easily into you and you watched his face form a scowl as he went past your tightest part. You clenched down on him and he opened an eye and smirked at you. âTell me if it gets to be too much.â You couldnât even answer him before he was thrusting into you quickly, his hands on your hips holding you down and pulling you against him. He was desperate to fuck you. His hips bucked wildly against you, going in and out at a sickening pace. You could only stare at him in bliss, your mouth open and deep moans escaping everytime he moved. He grunted and pulled you closer, feeling himself coming to his limit. âYouâre so good. Youâre taking me so well, Princess. Fuck.â He muttered.Â
âNanami-â you moaned his name as you felt another high wash over you. You yelped and shut your eyes, arching your back with a cry. You wrapped your legs around him, locking him in place as you felt him growing more desperate with each thrust. You hummed as you noticed him looking at you, once again looking like he was looking for a sign. You smiled, exhausted and nodded. Thatâs all he needed.Â
He grunted again and thrust his hips into you one last time, roughly, as he came. You felt him shooting hot ropes of cum inside of you and you brought his head down to kiss him. He smiled against your lips. You felt his cock pulsing inside of you and your eyes closed sleepily.Â
âThank you, y/n.âÂ
You nodded as you felt exhaustion come over you. âYou can go again if you want.â You said barely keeping your eyes open.Â
âWhat?âÂ
âYou made me come three times just now. I think I owe you two more rounds.â He smiled and shook his head.Â
âRest, Iâll clean you up.â You furrowed your brows and frowned. âDo you trust me?âÂ
âYes, but,â your eyes closed again. âItâs not fair. Go again, I donât mind. Iâve been dreaming about this for so long I-â you fell asleep.
âąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâąâą
pt. 2 pt 3. pt 4. pt 5.
Ëââ©â§ânana here: if you made it this far bless you. if you saw a typo...no you didn't. idk if i'll ever post pt 2...i guess it depends on how this does or if a certain someone somehow convinces me to post the next partâshout out to cath my biggest supporter<3
#jjk#jjk nanami#jjk x you#jjk fanfic#jjk fluff#jjk smut#smut#nanami#nanami kento#nanami x reader#nanami kento x reader#jujutsu nanami#nanami smut#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu gojo#nanami kento x reader smut#nanami x reader smut#nanami x you#nanami kento smut#jjk headcannons#jjk x reader#jjk imagines
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Butch up that Elf: my Marcille manifesto
TBQH, this came into being because the Falin "dragoness" fanart rewired my brain completely. It's sillytimes, but we're going to make a serious argument: trying out being a little butch would Fix Her.
1. Marcille Gender Discomfort
Now, Marcille LOVES feminity. She loves playing dressup, she loves elaborate gowns, she spends her free time going to the spa - the absolute last thing I want is to deny that. However, there's also a definite vibe that this isn't just a preference. Specifically, the way that she pushes Falin towards femininity suggests that she isn't comfortable with gender nonconformity in the people around her.
If this was something she was 100% confident about ("I'm doing this for myself and nobody else!") surely what other people do wouldn't be a big deal? Of course, you can read this as a little bit of solipsism; "what works for me must work for you too! I think this is so cute and would suit you - wouldn't you agree?"
But for the sake of this argument, all I'm trying to suggest is that gender nonconformity (and probably sexual nonconformity... well, frankly, any kind of sexuality at all) is unlikely to be something that's on Marcille's "radar". She hasn't tried out other ways of presenting and decided she doesn't like them. I do think she'd be a very flamboyant butch - "ouji lolita" vibes, you know? It's a whole new set of wardrobe options she could play dress-up in, even.
After the story ends, she starts dressing like her mother in all black, which makes sense - her mother was also a court magician, so she's probably emulating her in order to project confidence and authority. But I can't say I think she should stick with this. Break away and be your own person, Marcille! Try a fancy waistcoat and frilled jacket!
2. Haircut
This is another potential hard sell, I'm sure. The people she loves doing her hair is a cute symbol of their care for her, and her hair is key to her magic - so there's plenty of reason for her to keep it long. But like... think practically. Having someone do your hair every morning, for the whole of her long life, while it gets messier over the day (because she can't remember to keep it neat)... That's got to be such a pain. My hair gets messy when I put a hoodie on. And I have short hair.
It would require her to go through a change of mind, and probably a little more growth in how secure she feels in her relationships, but - the hairdo's a symbol. The more important thing is the relationships themselves. Eventually I think there might be something liberating about cutting it off, even if she might eventually decide to grow it out again.
The lion, her trauma, took something away from her which was really important to her. The people around her are able to make that easier, and make up for it, and soften that loss, but... Mithrun isn't the person he was before, you know? He's a new person. The relationship he has with his brother is new, and I don't know if it's one that the person he was before could have had. If Falin hadn't died, they wouldn't have gone on that wonderful adventure! They wouldn't have met Senshi or saved Izutsumi and Laios and Marcille wouldn't have gotten so close. So I think it's totally congruent with the themes of the story that the burning away of this part of Marcille's self might eventually create the potential for new growth in a new direction, not clinging onto the parts that are gone.
This also isn't totally out of the norm for elven mages - both Otta and Flamela have short hair. Otta is canonically butch, and potentially Flamela reads that way to elves too, but the point is it clearly is possible to be an accomplished mage without long hair.
3. Desiring (to be) a chivalrous prince
Marcille's succubus is clearly General Halleus from her favourite book series, the Daltian Clan. The fact that this is her ideal man.... it certainly plays into readings of her as Not Straight. But at least, this conveys the way her conception of sex and romance is strongly idealised, dissociated from the bodily and from physical desire.
There are many ways to interpret that, including thinking about what types of desire this fixation is obstructing because she is not comfortable with it, but I am going to focus here on what this desire does signify. She likes the trappings of courtly romance, and is clearly comfortable putting herself in the role of the princess, being taken away on a white horse by a noble (but tormented; eyepatch has "death" on it lmao) prince. (Though I think he's actually the token male lead who isn't royalty; he's a General. There's always one in Romfan, lmao. IYKYK)
A kiss on the hand - this is so chaste, I think it's clear it's more about desire to play a role in a dynamic than it is about desire in a physical sense. There is undoubtedly a big part of Marcille that wants to be a beloved and chased-after princess, but I think it isn't at all impossible that she'd also enjoy being the powerful, cool, and chivalrous "prince" to someone (a pretty girl, perhaps) who needs her protection.
This is a little silly, because it's clearly just aping the shoujo artstyle that articulates basically the same idea as her succubus, that Marcille is attached to highly abstracted and idealised romantic (and Romantic) tropes and ideas. But the imaginary "successful" Marcille from chapter 4 looks quite similar to her succubus. (Another thing I noticed is that in the fantasy she has sharp ears... like full elves have. Despite what she says, I think the cultural messaging that this trait is "attractive" and hers are inferior got to her at least a bit. đ„)
Also, the way that she treats Falin, scolding her indulgently, trying to look after her and wanting to be looked up to and respected by her... that aligns more with the "masculine" role in the trope that her succubus is referencing. "What are we going to do with you...?" I can imagine her saying this to Falin, word for word. Whereas, if anyone real started talking down to her, even affectionately, I don't think she'd like it, given the negative way she reacts when people don't respect her or her skills. Especially after canon, given the way the Winged Lion was treating her.
Her attitude to Falin is partially down to her reluctance to acknowledge Falin as an adult, who is independent and can grow beyond her and leave her behind. But I think even as they move on from that unhealthy dynamic, Marcille is still going to get pleasure from feeling capable, reliable, able to look after and protect Falin. She'd like to pull the chair out for her in a restaurant on a date, you know?
4. Conclusion
Even after the growth she goes through during the story, there are parts of Marcille's character that are very much obstructed. Romance, sexuality, and gender, feel like one of those to me. The way that her discomfort with the messy origins of food betrayed a deeper, more significant discomfort with the cycles of life and death.
Much in the same way, I'd argue that the simplified, idealistic, and safely fantastical way that she views romance, as well as her very "safe" gender presentation and tendency to push it onto others as well, suggest an underlying discomfort in her own gender and sexuality. The character growth she goes through leaves her in a place where it may be possible to safely re-evaluate her relationship with Falin, as well as her choice of clothing and hairstyle, both things that go through a change at the end of the manga. Neither, I think, reach a sustainable stopping point that we see - there will be a point when it's more servants doing her hair than friends, just out of practicality, because they're all going to be so, so busy. The black clothing to copy her mum is cute, but once she gets some more self-confidence in her own skills as a court magician, I think she'll move on from it. And... who knows what direction her relationship with Falin will develop, over the years? I'm rooting for them, anyway.
In all those cases, I think moving outside of the things she's done before, into something really different from the things that are "safe" and expected, will be the most rewarding path for her. Like in the dungeon, things that she would initially reject were actually able to sustain her and broaden her tastes. She loves dressing up, looking after people, and "princely romance". So I say: Butch Marcille! It'll be good for her!!
#og post#marcille donato#falin x marcille#farcille#dungeon meshi#dungeon meshi meta#dungeon meshi manga spoilers#dunmeshi
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NSFW alphabet â op81
author's note: hello again, rushed to finish this after quali today. mclaren second row lockout heck yes !!! anyways idk what i think about this one, first time posting something abt oscar in many months?? hope u enjoy tho :)
nsfw content below !! minors dni !!!
a â aftercare (what he is like after sex)
oscar is the biggest sweetheart after sex (when isn't he, though?). so so so gentle and caring for your every need. he'll be forcing you to drink some water, making sure you're cleaned up properly, helping you out with soothing lotions if your skin is sore.
lots of lots of kisses! forehead, nose, cheek, temple kisses, and especially little pecks on your lips. he loves having you rest on his chest after it all, fingers brushing along your skin or tangling in your hair. and there will be so many praises, "you did so well" and "you felt so good" and "you look gorgeous right now, did you know?"âŠ
b â body part (his favorite body part of his and also his partner's body)
oscar has a thing for collarbones. they're like a magnet to his lips; his lips are automatically drawn to them. he loves to brush his thumb along them, seeing you shiver when he places fleeting kisses on top of them, and most importantly leaving little lovebites for only the two of you to see and know about. oscar is also in love with your breasts, no matter how big or small they are.
can't believe i almost forgot to write your eyes⊠i will get back to this later but your eyes are definitely one of his favorite things about you. watching you blink up at him innocently, watching your eyes flutter closed, watching them roll to the back of your head⊠oh he's smitten.
on his own body, he really likes his thighs. if he got to choose, he would have you sitting on his lap at all times. 24/7, no matter the occasion. the sight of you getting off just by riding his thigh is one of his absolute favorites, he loves flexing his muscles under you and guiding your hips down onto him.
c â cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
since he's a fan of your boobs (well, everything in the chest area, to be fair), he loves to pull out and spill his load over your breasts. he won't do it every time, but he savors the chances he gets. totally has a few pics of you with his cum all over your chest, dripping along your collarbones, saved for the moments when he misses you the most.
d â dirty secret (pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of his)
maybe not a dirty secret per se, but oscar has a little submissive streak... he sure does love begging a little, pouting and whining to get what he wants. and i mean, who could say no to these eyes looking up at you?
e â experience (how experienced is he? does he know what he's doing?)
well oscar went to school for longer than a lot of other racing drivers, and boarding school for that matter, so i think he's been able to get quite a bit of experience. he knows a lot, but it's more important to him to get to know you and what you like. his prior experience doesn't matter as much as the experience he gains together with you.
f â favorite position (this goes without saying)
oscar thinks you're the most gorgeous thing ever so you bet he doesn't want to spend even a second not getting to look into your pretty eyes. anything where he can watch your face contort or relax, and your eyes squeeze shut or blink up at him, makes him so weak. he loves a classic missionary, especially if he gets to hike one of your legs over his hip and especially if you put a pillow under your lower back because he knows you love it. and when you're enjoying himself, he enjoys himself, too.
seeing you ride him makes him a little crazy though, but don't expect him to keep his eye contact with you during it; his eyes will be firmly glued onto your boobs as they bounce up and down, he can't help it.
g â goofy (is he more serious in the moment? is he humorous? etc.)
oscar is a soft giggler during sex. he isn't overly serious but not overly humorous either, just a good mix. he's low laughs when you're whining for him, playful coos as reactions to your impatience, and a lot of "baby, let's not get ahead of ourselves, okay?" with teasing smiles. he's just not scared of a little humor because sex doesn't have to be so strict to him; it's just a cozy time you spend together and he wants you to be as comfortable and relaxed as you can.
h â hair (how well groomed is he? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
he's no naked rat, but he likes to keep things neat. a bit trimmed, not super short but also not long. though i also feel like he definitely adjusts to your likes and what you find attractive.
i â intimacy (how is he during the moment? the romantic aspect)
sex isn't just fucking to him; sex is lovemaking. he loves to be romantic with it. celebrating birthdays or anniversaries in your bedroom with little candles everywhere to set the mood, rose petals in a heart on the bed, with a cozy bubble bath after. and even when it's not a big occasion, he's very soft and romantic. he has a few playlists he loves to put on, he knows exactly what to say to get you in the mood and where to press his lips to draw out your oh so sweet sounds. oscar is all gentle touches and soft glances.
j â jack off (masturbation headcanon)
that one time when you accidentally walked in on him jacking off because you came home early from work/school, he was so extremely flustered â but he also found it very arousing. when you asked him if you could help him out, he couldn't help his hasty nods and the way his heart skipped a few beats in his chest. watching you settle on his lap, your hands starting where his had left off, fingers brushing up and down along him teasingly... from that day, he replays the image of you giving him a handjob in his mind whenever he does it himself, and he loves to get your help whenever he doesn't have a lot of time but needs to get off before a race etc.
k â kink (one or more of his kinks)
marking. 100%. he'll be lowkey and casual with it, not really saying much about it, but after a while you come to the realization that he leaves quite a lot more lovebites than anyone you've been with before. the inside of your thighs, your hips, your ribs... but especially your chest area. they won't usually be where anyone can see, because he likes to keep your sex life private, but there have been occasions when he's been a bit extra riled up (or jealous) and he just couldn't back from leaving trails of hickeys down your neck. he just adores the thought of you having a physical reminder of who you belong to, even if they fade after a while.
l â location (favorite places to do the do)
your bedroom is the #1 favorite, but he's okay with other places too. he especially likes your bathtub, especially when the lights are dimmed and you've got some pretty candles spread out in the room (and downed a few glasses of wine possibly).
m â motivation (what turns him on, gets him going)
oscar loves lingerie. if you wore any lingerie, he would be turned on instantly. he just can't help it. i also feel like he's the type to just get turned on from mundane, domestic things. like, seeing you cooking? watching you do your nighttime routine? it's a reminder him that you're there, you're real, and you're his. there's nothing hotter than that.
during the actual lovemaking, he gets a little crazy whenever you say his name. especially when you're about to come and his name slips from your lips in the form of a breathless whimper and he can feel your insides contract around him. it could make him come instantly.
n â no (something he wouldn't do, turn-offs)
nothing where there's even the slightest chance that you'll injure yourself. nuh uh. he also dislikes things where you won't be able to easily quit if anything were to happen, like bonding. the idea of you being tied up when the fire alarm goes off or you get a panic attack makes his skin crawl, it's his worst nightmare.
o â oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
i don't think he has anything against receiving it, but it won't happen unless you initiate it. he's very certain about not pressuring you in that way; he knows it's not always your favorite thing to do and he respects that.
i see him as someone who loves to give it, though. especially if he can take his time with you, rile you up with soft kisses and gentle caresses of your skin.
p â pace (is he fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
oh i totally see oscar as more slow and sensual. as we've covered already, sex is lovemaking to him, and he's in no rush. he wants to enjoy every second of it, and make sure you do too. foreplay can last for an eternity with him because he loves preparing you for what's to come.
q â quickie (his opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
he'd rather take his time with you and do it properly. if he really needs to blow off some steam, he'd rather just jack off or have you help him out if you don't have any time. if you're going to have sex, he wants to not be in any rush, and he wants to have time to properly take care of you after.
r â risk (is he game to experiment? does he take risks? etc.)
he's definitely open to experiment. he might want to try more things than he's willing to admit; even though he's fully comfortable with you by now, something still makes him a bit nervous about talking to you about it. he wants to find a 'good opportunity' to bring the idea up, but it might take him some courage to do it. he'll be very gentle, shy eyes blinking at you, voice soft⊠"only if you're okay with it, of course!" and "you really have to tell me if you don't want to. you have to promise me", maybe even making you pinky promise that you indeed do want to try the thing.
he'd be over the moon if you insinuated it, though. anything you're up for, he's automatically up for, too.
s â stamina (how many rounds can he go for? how long does he last?)
i think his stamina is quite good. when i say that he loves taking his time with you, i mean it in that way, too; he can go on for hours. if he needs to take a break, then he'll start focusing on you and making you feel good instead. neither of you will ever get tired, he just keeps on going until he's satisfied.
t â toys (does he own toys? does he use them? on a partner or himself?)
i wouldn't say he's the biggest fan of them, but he doesn't have anything against them, either. he's much happier if he gets to be the person to make you feel so good. though, the thought of you using your toys on yourself when he's not around really gets him going, and if anything, he's okay with you using them on yourself even when you're together. (fic abt osc watching you use your vibrator hereee)
u â unfair (how much he likes to tease)
not as much as some other people (*cough cough* his teammate *cough cough*) but he does enjoy it. he really likes teasing fingers dragging up and down your ribs, fleeting kisses all over your skin, brushing your hair away from your face as you're waiting for him to do something.
he does it in a gentle and sweet way that should be interpreted as just cute but it makes you furious sometimes? because he can be so slow it's infuriating and you want him to just get on with it already. he'll be pretending to think things through or fiddle with a belt, and you'll just go crazy because he should be touching you but he's just finding a bunch of excuses to keep you on your toes. he loves to see you squirming and whining beneath him, holding your hands away easily with a 'tsk' when you try to release some of your tension yourself since he's so goddamn slow. (blurb ish on this topic hereeee)
v â volume (how loud he is, what sounds he makes, etc.)
a lot of heavy breathing. i see him as a groaner, but he's not overly loud with it. he lovesss to talk you through it, though. "are you ready? is this okay? tell me if i need to pause. that feels so good, you're doing so good."
w â wild card (a random headcanon)
oscar LOVES praising you. it just happens naturally because he thinks you're doing so well and he loves you so much, he must tell you. "that's perfect, love. i love it when you do that. god, you feel so good. look at you, taking me so well. and looking so beautiful while doing it? there's no one as good as you..."
x â x-ray (let's see what's going on under those clothes)
just a bit longer than average but it's the thickness that makes him stand out. even after being together for a long while, it takes you a good amount of foreplay to stretch out for him, and it still feels like he's splitting you open once he finally slips fully into you.
y â yearning (how high is his sex drive?)
nothing too special i'd say, he loves a good few rounds but he enjoys a sweet, romantic night of another kind just as much.
z â zzz (how quickly he falls asleep afterward)
a sleepy boy in general but most of the time, he gets a little energy boost out of sex instead. he will be the last to fall asleep pretty much every time, which is also because he just wants to enjoy the moment for as long as he can before eventually falling asleep. he adores having you in his arms after doing his aftercare routines, drawing little shapes into your skin as you start to fall asleep. once asleep, though, he sleeps so well & heavy. it'll take three alarms and you bribing him with kisses for him to actually wake up before 1pm.
#f1#formula 1#formula one#oscar piastri#oscar piastri x reader#oscar piastri x you#oscar piastri x yn#oscar piastri x y/n#oscar piastri smut#oscar piastri fluff#oscar piastri imagine#oscar piastri scenario#f1 x reader#f1 x you#f1 x yn#f1 x y/n#f1 smut#f1 fluff#mclaren#mclaren racing
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Mars in the Houses [Solar Return]
1st House
Mars in the 1st house of your Solar Return chart energizes your entire year. Youâre likely to feel more assertive, confident, and eager to take the lead. This placement encourages you to pursue your goals with determination, but be mindful of impulsiveness or aggression in your interactions.
2nd House
With Mars in the 2nd house, your focus shifts to financial matters and personal values. You may feel driven to increase your income or acquire possessions, often with a competitive edge. This year encourages assertiveness in managing resources, but watch out for spending impulsively.
3rd House
Mars in the 3rd house boosts your communication skills and mental energy. Youâre likely to engage in lively debates, pursue learning with vigor, and take short trips or engage in community activities. This placement can create a fast-paced environment, so be mindful of impatience or conflict in conversations.
4th House
With Mars in the 4th house, your home and family life take on greater importance. You may feel motivated to make changes to your living situation, renovate, or deal with family dynamics. This placement can bring both initiative and tension to your domestic environment, so strive for balance.
5th House
Mars in the 5th house ignites your creative passions and romantic pursuits. Youâre likely to take bold steps in expressing yourself, whether through art, hobbies, or love affairs. This year encourages fun and excitement, but be cautious of risk-taking behavior or competitive attitudes in love.
6th House
With Mars in the 6th house, your work and health become central themes. You may feel driven to take on new tasks, improve your routines, or focus on fitness goals. This placement enhances productivity but can also lead to stress or conflicts at work, so prioritize balance and self-care.
7th House
Mars in the 7th house brings energy and assertiveness to your relationships and partnerships. Youâre likely to take the lead in forming connections, but this can also lead to conflicts or power struggles. This year encourages you to assert your needs in relationships while striving for harmony.
8th House
With Mars in the 8th house, youâre drawn to deep transformations and intense experiences. You may feel compelled to explore issues of power, control, or shared resources. This placement can bring a strong drive for change but may also stir up hidden tensions or desires.
9th House
Mars in the 9th house fuels your desire for adventure and exploration. You may pursue travel, higher education, or philosophical debates with passion. This year encourages expanding your horizons and challenging your beliefs, but be aware of becoming too forceful in your opinions or actions.
10th House
With Mars in the 10th house, your career and public life take center stage. Youâre likely to pursue professional goals with ambition and determination, seeking recognition or leadership roles. This placement can lead to significant achievements but may also bring conflicts with authority figures.
11th House
Mars in the 11th house energizes your social life and involvement in groups or causes. You may take an active role in friendships or community efforts, driven by shared goals. This year encourages collaboration and networking, but be mindful of potential clashes with others in group settings.
12th House
With Mars in the 12th house, your energy may turn inward, focusing on subconscious drives or spiritual pursuits. You may feel compelled to confront hidden fears or work behind the scenes on important projects. This placement encourages introspection and healing, but watch out for repressed anger or frustration.
©ïžkleopatra45
#astrology#astrology community#astroblr#astrology observations#astrology readings#astro notes#astrology tumblr#houses in astrology#astro community#solar return#solar return notes#solar return chart#mars in the houses
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ă ⊠XOXO ⊠ă
â. # SHIP â choso, toji, sukuna, toge (separately) x gn!reader
â. # AUTHORâS NOTE â first kisses with the boys. ;; requested.
â. # WARNINGS â mentions of blood in tojiâs part.
CHOSO.
iâd imagine your first kiss with choso would be sweet. definitely the most normal out of all of them (đ)
heâs never kissed someone before so youâre his first kiss ever!!
he really doesnât know what to do at all. when you lean closer to him heâs like ????? because heâs not entirely sure what youâre trying to do
but once your lips touch his, his face goes BRIGHT RED
definitely freezes up and just stares at you wide-eyed
i think the first kiss with choso wouldnât be anything wild. honestly, itâs probably just a little peck on the lips
like a âmwahâ and thatâs it, but he still freaks out about it
also. choso will definitely look all dazed afterwards, his fingers reaching up to touch his lips
might be a little confused at first since heâs not really sure what to make of it
give him 5 minutes and heâll be back and asking, âcan you do that again?â
TOJI.
with this one, thereâs no holding back. he doesnât care if itâs the first or last kiss.
he will bruise your lips đ„Žđ„Ž
toji would hold the back of your head and press you even closer to him, despite the fact that not a piece of paper would fit between you two
first kiss? no. heâs eating your mouth.
i feel like even if he told himself (and maybe you) that heâll be gentle and that itâll be this sweet little thing, he just CANNOT hold himself back
self control = 0.000 for this man i stg
but then if it does go out of control, trust that heâll blame you for it. youâre just too hot, what can he do against that? đ
iâd imagine your first kiss with toji would happen after a particularly hard mission. when one of you is all bloody and youâre both exhausted and aching.
and itâs definitely a âheat of the momentâ type of thing and after that, itâll take 5-7 business days for both of you to come to terms with the fact that MAYBE, just maybe, youâve got some kind of feelings for each other
he doesnât know what a gentle kiss is and will always use tongue. the kiss to seal the wedding? good luck đđđ
SUKUNA.
first important question here is: which mouth are you trying to kiss đ mf got like 3.
this manâs kisses are nastyâwhether in a good or bad way is honestly your decision LMAO
with sukuna, itâs all or nothing. so thereâs no sweet little peck on the lips.
it also heavily depends on who you are, i think. but if weâre talking about the first kiss you have with him, iâd say itâd probably happen during a fight.
as funny as that is, he likes when strong people fight him and i think he likes it even better if theyâre a little feisty
now he probably always thought you were interesting and youâve been hanging out together. but yeah. first kiss after or DURING a (probably) physical fight you have with him đ
heâs rough with you.
a lot of tongue, teeth clashing probably. another one that will eat your mouth.
one hand is wrapped around your neck when he kisses you, always.
he also bites (đ)
TOGE.
i think with toge, you were probably best friends before the kiss happened.
you were on his bed together in the dorms. he was playing a game on his phone and you were watching him.
you were probably messing around with each other, joking and fighting with pillows or something like that.
and itâs the most clichĂ© thing ever but:
he somehow ends up on top of you, his arms on either side of your head.
and then you just stare at each other for a while. both of your cheeks flaring up a bright red at the proximity, but neither of you tries to move away.
with toge, itâs slow and gentle iâd imagine.
not a quick peck, but thereâs no tongue involved or anythingâat least not during the very first kiss you guys have together.
but itâs a gentle touch, his lips lingering for a while before he pulls away. and then thereâs another round of simply staring at each other. both of you are a bit dazed, looking into each otherâs eyes while trying to figure out what exactly just happened
but once the momentâs broken, toge gets off of you, hiding his face in his collar to stop you from seeing just how red his cheeks are <3
#âËà· lovely words#thank u for requesting!#headcanons r a little shorter bc the scenario is a p short one <3#jjk x reader#jjk x y/n#jjk x you#jjk x gender neutral reader#choso x you#choso x y/n#choso x reader#choso x male reader#choso x female reader#toji x male reader#toji x reader#toji x you#toji x y/n#sukuna x male reader#sukuna x reader#sukuna x you#sukuna x y/n#toge x male reader#toge x reader#toge x you#toge x y/n#inumaki x reader#inumaki x you#inumaki x y/n
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â A SMALL PRICE TO PAY
PAIRING â King Aegon II Targaryen x fem!Reader
SUMMARY â You visit Aegon with your children in his chambers after he nearly lost his life due to his reckless decision to join the battle.
AUTHORâS NOTE â This is just a very self-indulgent fic where both twins are alive (I haven't described their looks because Reader is their mother â I have only mentioned their hair colour) and Aegon's injuries aren't even half as bad as in canon. đ
WORD COUNT â 3,600
ENGLISH IS MY SECOND LANGUAGE.
A SMALL PRICE TO PAY
When your servants informed you about Aegon planning to depart on Sunfyre and that he was getting fully armoured, your heart stopped beating for a good while before you gathered your skirts in your hands and rushed all the way to the Dragonpit. Your sworn guard could barely keep up with your pace.
âMy Queen!â He tried to stop you but you remained deaf to his pleas. All that was important to you was to stop Aegon from making a mistake.
You knew what he was planning to do because all those nights when he had been drunk on wine and whining about his council ignoring him, he had been threatening to just hop on his dragon and join the real fight eventually. Something had to happen on that day, which had finally pushed all his buttons and caused him to take the drastic step.
But when you ran into the Dragonpit, he was already gone. You rushed outside and looked up. The beautiful Sunfyre was up in the sky and flying away. You put your hand over your forehead to cast a shadow upon your face.
âThe King has already departed, My Queen,â your sworn guard informed you and took a few deep breaths in after the rapid chase.
âMay the Gods protect our King,â you swallowed a lump in your throat and whispered a short prayer. There was nothing you could do now, really. You didnât have your own dragon, on which you would hop on to join him in the battlefield to help him.
That feeling of being helpless was the greatest burden. Therefore, you understood your husbandâs frustration. He was the King, after all, and he wanted to feel like one.
But you were the Queen. And all you could do was to wait and pray.
The news from Rookâs Rest came with a raven and you were in the room with the Dowager Queen Alicent when you read that King Aegon had managed to kill Meleys and her rider, Princess Rhaenys. However, the King himself and his own dragon Sunfyre were injured. The letter brought to you did not dwell on the state of either of them.
You finished reading the words out loud and glanced at your mother-in-law. She covered her face with her hand to muffle the sound of a sob coming out of her mouth. Your lips were trembling, too.
âHeâs alive,â you tried to comfort both her and your own self. âAnd a hero, too.â
âMy boyâŠâ Queen Alicent stood up to approach the window.
âWith all due respect, My Queen,â you stood up and dropped the letter onto the surface of the desk before approaching her. âWe both know why Aegon went to the battle. The servants informed me about his drunken state and⊠An argument⊠Between you two,â you told her, carefully. You did not want to damage the relationship you had with Queen Alicent.
She was a good mother-in-law and she loved her children, however, sometimes, she struggled with emotions. Which was no fault of hers, especially now, on the verge of a civil war â everyone struggled. But you were also aware of how important she was to your husband.
Sometimes, it felt as if his mother was the only important person in his life. He did not care for anyone else as much as for her â excluding your children, of course. But his mother was often the main subject of his conversations when you two were alone, discussing your problems. And no matter how much love and support you were showing to him, he was still unsatisfied because what he craved and needed truly was her approval.Â
âI deeply regret the words I have said to him,â Queen Alicent turned around to look at your face. âBut they cannot be undone now.â
âNo, they cannot,â you nodded and she sobbed once more. You felt bad for her, so you put your hand gently on her shoulder. âDo not put all the blame on yourself, My Queen,â you whispered to her. âMy husband is known for being impulsive and it is not a secret he likes wine more than he should.â
âAnd who raised him this way?â Queen Alicent asked you with her big brown eyes filled with pain and guilt.
âMy husband had a father, too,â you reminded her. âAlso, some⊠Some things⊠Us, parents, we cannot help them. Our children are not our property but humans of their own and we cannot shape them the way we like. There are often forces stronger than us that mislead and misguide them from our paths,â you comforted her.
When the knights came back from Rookâs Rest, they had Meleysâ head that they were showing off to the peasants as they praised your husbandâs victory. You had to admit, the sight of that red beastâs head was gruesome and the smell was awful as well, however it brought some pride to you that it was your husband who had slain her.
Still, he was what you cared about the most. You rushed to his chambers where he would be brought by the knights and where the Maesters waited for his arrival.
You were scared to see what state he was in. You were scared to see the injuries and blood but you were his wife and you couldnât imagine hiding somewhere else. You just had to endure it and remain by his side. Queen Alicent stood by you as well and you both waited. When you heard the approaching footsteps, she reached her hand out to grab your wrist and you held her hand to squeeze it in a comforting manner. You both needed that.
The nauseous smell reached your nostrils first â metallic scent of blood and the eye-watering stench of burnt flesh. Groaning Aegon was laid down on his bed as Maesters rushed to his side before you could take a better look at his face.
Queen Alicent gasped and turned around to cry but you let go of her hand and tried to stand between all the men gathered around your husbandâs bed.
âMy Queen, please,â one of the Maesters looked at you pleadingly. âDo not interrupt, for the Kingâs sake.â
âThat is not a sight for the Queen,â another one told you.
âHe is my husband!â You pushed him away to get closer to Aegon and the sight of him made your heart clench.
You sobbed just like his mother at the sight of his skin covered in bruises and blood, while the left part of his body was burnt in many places to the point that his armour had melted into his skin â Maesters worked on removing it as quickly as possible. Even Aegonâs face was burnt on his left cheek and his leg was broken, too.
âAegonâŠâ You whispered and walked the bed around to find yourself on the better side of him, the one less injured. You grabbed his hand to squeeze and he hissed out of pain before laying his teary eyes on you. âOh, AegonâŠâ You sobbed some more and fell to your knees to place a kiss upon his hand before pressing it to your forehead. âI have been praying for you, my King. Thank the Gods for bringing you back to me and now might they grant you strengthâŠâ
âMy Queens, please,â Grand Maester Orwyle looked at Queen Alicent. âWe will call for you after we are done with the King. Let us work now.â
You tried to stand up but you stumbled and it was your sworn guard who had to intervene and raise you up from the floor before walking you out with his hands placed respectfully on your shoulders.
You were pacing around your chambers nervously for the second hour now. All the food brought to you by the servants was lying cold on the table because you couldnât touch it. Every time someone walked past your doors, your heart was skipping a beat, thinking it was some news about your husband.
Finally, a light knock had your head spinning as you rushed to open the doors before your guard even managed to reach out to push them.
âWhat is it?!â You asked the Maester standing in front of the chambers.
âThe King can receive visitors now, My Queen,â he bowed his head in front of you.
âThank the Gods,â you mumbled to yourself. âHow is he? Will he be alright?â
âHis convalescence will be a long one but he will be alright, eventually,â the man answered and then he looked away nervously.
âButâŠ? What is it?!â You furrowed your brows.
âThe King might never walk again, My Queen,â he informed you, quietly.
You pursed your lips. The news was heartbreaking for you but you knew it had to be even more devastating for Aegon. On the other hand, youâd rather have him laying in bed all day long than have him dead.
âIt is a small price to pay the Gods for sparing his life,â you only nodded. âThank you, Maester,â you added and walked away.
Before going to your husbandâs chambers, you went to the nursery first where your silver-haired twins were playing together, unaware of anything that had taken place on that day.
âJaehaerys,â you crouched down next to the boy playing with a wooden dragon.
âI donât want to go to sleep yet,â he whined.
âNo, darling, not to sleep,â you caressed his hair and offered him your hand before extending the other one towards Jaehaera. âWe are going to see daddy,â you told them. âHe is unwell,â you added and the eyes of your children looked up at you, worryingly. âHe was fighting in a battle on Sunfyre and he got hurt,â you explained in a way they could understand. âHe would love to see you now, I bet.â
Jaehaerys and Jaehaera both stood up and squeezed your hands. You walked them out of the nursery and guided them to your husbandâs chambers.
Those had been his own fatherâs chambers before and Aegon did not like them for that very reason. Most of the time he was spending time and sleeping in your chambers but now you believed he would have to stay in his fatherâs ones for quite a long time. However, you would visit him every day anyway.
You had been young teenagers when you had met for the first time and you had hated him at first. You still remembered that night when you had been crying from dusk till dawn about the fact you would have to marry him one day. But when you had actually arrived at King's Landing to marry him a few years later, you had been surprised by how much you had grown to like him despite his undeniable flaws.
Also, everyone was saying that your marriage was doing him good and you were changing him for the better. It had always been making you feel proud to hear such words and all of Aegonâs attempts to make you like him more had been only causing you to fall for him harder and harder. Even though some of his attempts had failed, they had still been proving to you that he cared about you.
At the sight of you coming, his guards bowed down and opened the doors leading to your husbandâs chambers as they announced you.
âQueen (Y/N) with Prince Jaehaerys and Princess Jaehaera.â
You walked inside the chambers carefully and felt your children squeezing your hands at the sight of their father. Aegon was sitting on the bed now with many pillows behind his back but the bruises had not magically disappeared from his skin after all. Nor had the burns or a broken leg that was now propped up to heal properly.
Aegon cracked a smile at you and his children. You let go of their hands and they looked up at you, questioningly.
âGo to daddy,â you nodded your head at them and they ran up to their fatherâs bed.
âDaddy!â Jaehaera squealed as Jaehaerys climbed up to sit by Aegonâs better side. Jaehaera tried to do that as well but she struggled. You chuckled at that and helped her.
âBe careful with daddy, heâs still in pain,â you told your children and watched them carefully as they sat by your husband.
Aegon raised his less injured hand to brush their arms with his fingers before laying his hand down again and you took it gently and placed it upon your lap after sitting on the edge of the bed.
âAre you alright, daddy?â Jaehaerys asked with widened eyes. âMummy said you were in the battle on Sunfyre!â
âYesâŠâ Aegon answered in a raspy voice before clearing his throat. âYes, I was. And I won,â he added, weakly.
âWhen will you be better, daddy?â Jaehaera asked as she crawled closer to her father. She cupped his cheeks gently and you knew it had to bring your husband some pain but he didnât let it show. His eyes filled with tears again. ïżœïżœïżœYou have an ouchie here!â She pointed at his left cheek that was burnt.
âJaehaera, donât touch!â You gently took her hand away.
âI donât know when I will be better, my love,â Aegon smiled sadly at her. âBut I will be, I promise.â
âAnd will that heal?â Jaehaerys pointed his hand at his fatherâs leg.
âYes,â Aegon nodded.
âAnd the ouchie?â Jaehaeraâs small lips trembled as her eyes filled with tears.
âThe ouchie will stop hurting but it wonât go away. Daddy will forever have those marks from being burnt,â you caressed her hair gently and she sniffled. âAh, donât cry, little one, that is an honour for a man to carry such scars. Your father is a hero who has survived dragonfire.â
âReally?!â Jaehaerys asked.
âI have slain Meleys, The Red Queen,â Aegon answered him and Jaehaerys gasped. You could see a shadow of pride on your husbandâs face.
âDo spare them the details, dear husband,â you interrupted them, âfor they are too small.â
âAnd how is Sunfyre, daddy?â Jaehaera asked him.
âRight, how is he?â You asked with a furrowed brow. You were curious, too.
âHe might never fly againâŠâ Aegon looked away sadly and your heart felt heavy at his words. You were aware of the bond he shared with his beloved dragon but it was also a bad omen, you thought.Â
If Sunfyre would never fly again, it could mean that your husband would never walk again either. You swallowed a lump in your throat and gave his hand a light squeeze to let him know you would stay by his side no matter what.
âIf Sunfyre canât fly again, I will let you fly on my dragon sometime, daddy,â Jaehaerys tried to cheer his father up with a sweet smile and Aegon chuckled at that. His hand left your lap to ruffle his sonâs hair.
Jaehaerysâ dragon was so young that it was still smaller than him.
âI will let you fly on mine, too!â Jaehaera promised. âBut not to battle!â She added and Aegon bopped her on the nose.
Her dragon was even smaller than her brotherâs.
âThank you, my sweetlings,â your husband nodded at them and you spotted exhaustion in his eyes, which you were not surprised to see after such a long and painful day.
âItâs bedtime for you, my darlings,â you reminded your children and they whined. âWe will visit daddy again, on the morrow, yes?â
âCan I bring my toys here on the morrow and play with them with you, daddy?â Jaehaerys asked.
âCan I, too?â His sisterâs eyes widened.
âYes⊠Yes⊠If I am not too tired, that is,â Aegon promised them.
âIf not on the morrow, then some other day,â you stood up and helped your children to jump off of Aegonâs bed. âYour father wonât leave these chambers for a long time,â you gave him a scolding look since, after all, it had been his fault that he was lying there. And now, seeing that he would be quite alright eventually, you allowed yourself to have such thoughts instead of drowning in worry.
âGood night, daddy,â Jaehaerys and Jaehaera said in unison before the doors opened in front of you.
âTake them to their nanny and tell her itâs their bedtime already,â you informed your sworn guard who was waiting for you outside, following you like a shadow as usual.
He nodded at you and extended his hands for the Prince and Princess to take them. They held onto him and you watched them walk away before you took a deep breath in and turned around to go back to your husband.
Once again you sat on the edge of his bed and you sighed at the sight of him. His eyes were full of tears now as he avoided your gaze.
âIâm sorry,â he mumbled out.
âYou reckless fool!â You exclaimed and then you covered your mouth with your hand and you looked away, too. âI could have lost youâŠâ
âWell, that would have been for the better. Now you have a cripple for a husband,â Aegon remarked.
âIt is not known yet,â you pointed out and leaned in to be closer to him. This action made him finally turn his head around to look into your eyes. You spotted a few tears streaming down his cheeks.
âEven if I walk again, I will forever have those scars. And for the upcoming months you will be like my mother when she was taking care of my fatherâŠâ Aegonâs voice was full of remorse.
âI do not care about those scars,â you assured him and gently wiped his tears away with your thumb. âAnd I shall nurture you willingly and without complaints. However, I shall never let you forget that all of this is a result of your foolish, impulsive decision!â You clenched your jaw. âThank the wine and your hot head for the state you are currently in.â
Aegon looked down, not being able to stand your gaze anymore. He was full of shame and you took a deep breath in to calm down before leaning in and placing a soft, tender kiss upon his forehead. You loved him, after all.
âYou were here⊠When they brought me,â he whispered. âItâs all blurry, the memory. But you were here, holding my handâŠâ He looked up.
âWe both were, your mother and I,â you told him. âOf course, how could I⊠How could we not?â You smiled at him.
âPoor SunfyreâŠâ Aegonâs eyes filled with tears again. âHe lost a wing because of me.â
Your eyes widened at his revelation. You had no idea how serious Sunfyreâs injuries were.
âIâm sure Meleys suffered worse,â you pointed out. âIt is a war, Aegon, and the dragons are involved now. However, over my dead body you will go to battle again! You have already proven yourself and the Kingdom needs you alive and inside the Red Keep,â you lowered your voice. âYou do not wish to be a puppet, my love? Then you have to live and be strong enough to rule.â
Aegon sighed and you caressed his hair gently. You knew that the crown upon his head was nothing but a burden to him.Â
âWill you help me?â He asked, looking deep into your eyes.
His question surprised you greatly because so far, he had often asked you to stay away from the schemes of his council members and the council itself. So far, he had been relying on his mother in such matters.
Then you realised â seeing the pleading and trustful look in his eyes â that you somehow replaced her for him. It was a bittersweet feeling.
âI will, darling,â you nodded. âOf course, I will. I love you,â you assured him and kissed his forehead once more. âNow rest, My King,â you kissed his nose and then lips, very carefully.
You squeezed his hand for the last time and waved at him before walking out of his chambers. You spotted the Dowager Queen Alicent pacing down the corridor and waiting for her turn to see her son.
â(Y/N),â she approached you and held your hands. âI did not want to interrupt you. Is he quite alright?â She asked.
âHe is⊠Well, better than I expected after seeing him right after the battle,â you told her and she sighed out of relief. âYou can see him now, but please, not for long, My Queen. I would rather him rest and sleep,â you explained and Queen Alicent nodded at that.
âThank youâŠâ She whispered and you furrowed your brows because you had a feeling she was thanking you for more than just informing her about her sonâs health. âThank you for loving him⊠For loving him the way I could not,â her voice broke.
And so did your heart at her words.
âMy Queen, I can only pray to the Gods to be a mother as devoted as you are,â you smiled at her gently.
She wasnât perfect and she had made mistakes she was very well aware of. However, it was not your role to torment her or judge her. Especially that you were playing on the same team and you both had the same amount of love in your heart for the man who had nearly lost his life earlier today â her son and your husband.
Queen Alicent smiled back at you but her smile was one of the sad kind.
âI shall pray to the Gods for them to bless you more than me in that matter.â
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Sweet and Ours, Tonight - S.R.
Type:Â one-shot, established relationship, domestic... filth
Pairing: Steve Rogers x wife!reader   Word Count: 5,8k
Summary: You and Steve had a long, long week.
You both deserve a reward. Perhaps an evening with undivided attention to each other... and maybe to end the endless week with a bang.
The thing is, Steve has no idea about whatâs awaiting him at home. Yet, you have a feeling he will like it - and he'll be happy to show you.
Warnings: 18+, nsfw, smut, praise kink, slight authority kink, soft dom/sub elements (with a tad dominant Steve), a sprinkle of possessiveness, potential blasphemy, lingerie kink, marriage kink (if that's a thing), mention of (tender) hair pulling, mention of semi-public sex if you squint really hard, language, FLOOF
A/N: At the time of Cum Together: Community Revival Extravaganza hosted by @stargazingfangirl18 and @labella420, there were two potential stories on my mind â the soulmate AU one, which I ended up writing, and this one, which fulfils multiple prompts from the list (see the end). The extravaganza is long over â but hopefully, youâll enjoy đ
A/N 2: DIVIDER by @saradika; enjoy, but it's smut y'all - read at your own risk and responsibility
Setting the half-full glass of water on the counter, you smiled to yourself as you heard the keys rattle in the lock. The sound meant one of your favourite things in the world: Steve was home.
âHomeâ was your spacious shared apartment near the new upstate Avengers facility, one you and Steve had chosen not because the large complex hadnât included living quarters, but because you had wanted a place that was truly your own.
On days like this, you were more grateful for that decision than ever. Here, the work and the weight you carried from it could be left at the doorstep, and you could enter a truly safe space, shielded by your love from the outside world. World which could be loud, overwhelming, and at times, evil.
Today, it meant that Steve would try to leave behind the exhaustion and frustration of a week-long conference of the United Nations and adjoined organisations. You, you had left behind the very same sentiments lacing the endless week of extra shifts. Sometimes it felt like the work was never done; be it patching up international relations or patching up the dumbass of the day. Be it dealing with diplomats who barely even listened, let alone acted on their empty promises; or be it repairing damage to human body made by another supposedly human being, battling to keep alive agents who not so rarely held zero regard for their own safety in the process of saving the very world for whose safety Steve was advocating in DC. You wondered where the agents could have possibly got the inspiration for their reckless behaviour â but that was not the kind of thoughts you wanted to entertain tonight, especially since you knew the answer all too well.
Tonight, you wanted to cherish your husbandâs company.
You had missed Steve; even when swamped with work, you both took care to stay in contact, confiding one another on as much of your longing for each otherâs company as on feeling drained.
You were glad for having had enough wits to plan ahead and be able to come home before him.
It had been no surprise to you that Steve had called you that he was about to arrive home as scheduled, but crankier than planned despite finally leaving the self-contained self-important jerks behind. The relief in his voice had been palpable; and his voice had only grown warmer when he learned you were to already wait for him at home. Your lips had twitched at the guttural sigh he released upon learning, whispering he was really happy to hear that; as were you to hear that he was coming home in one piece, which was unfortunately not a rule.
He loved you, he had said too. So damn much.
You had told him the same, wondering if that was what would leave his lips when heâd see you. Especially since he had no idea what coming his way, should he want it.
The lock barely clicked open and you were already on your way. A rapid carpet-muted staccato of your heels welcomed Steve as he entered, his curiosity clearly piqued in an instant.
He had but a second to take in your appearance â the bloody red pumps, the peek of nude nylons, the beige trench coat reaching just above your knees, your simple but effective hairdo and make-up, dominated by berry-red lipstick â or get his suitcase through the doors and close them. Before he could say as much as hi, you were already cupping his face and kissing him softly, for once not having to stand on your tiptoes too high.
There was a significant part of you which was dangerously close to jumping on him with enough force to slam him against the door and pour all your enthusiasm at seeing him into the kiss. It had taken all your willpower not to do so since your body throbbed with the need â but you didnât want him to feel ambushed, unsure about his mood. So you revelled in the precious opportunity to touch him, in the feel of the figurative and literal warmth he was radiating, in the taste of his lips you had missed so viscerally; and with the minute mental capacity left, you tried your best to read his reaction.
It would be a shame for your plan and efforts to go to waste; but the last thing youâd want was to push thoroughly exhausted Steve whoâd just want some peace into something heâd⊠be willing but not excited to do.
Your worries were fruitless, however. Steveâs hands came to life immediately, one reaching for your waist, the other to cradle your cheek. His lips responded in kind, even as his smile tasted of surprise. The tension you had got a brief glimpse of melted away from his shoulders, fingertips caressing your skin, nose gently nudging yours as your lips parted, forehead to forehead.
âHi,â you breathed out contentedly, feeling the tension leaving you as well, warmth spreading through every vein and nerve in your body at Steveâs gentle chuckle instead.
âHi, love.â
âWelcome home.â
His smile was as nothing short of blinding when he retreated just a bit to look at you and grace you with a shining gaze roaming your face, as if taking in every feature, every line, every arch, every last eyelash for the first time. Your heart thump-thumped in your chest happily as your hands slid to his neck, unable to tear your gaze away from the beautiful image he made.
A man with love.
Your man.
Your husband.
Your extremely handsome husband; every suit, be it a formal wear or his tactical one, accentuated his wide shoulders and sharply cut jaw you couldnât but run your fingertips over, marvelling at the pure delight in his face.
âI feel very much welcomed, sweetheart,â he assured you, squeezing your waist. Despite being clearly exhausted, his smile was radiant; until it fell a fraction. âAre you going out?â
Your heart hummed with a soft ache; it was impossible to miss his effort not to look disappointed as not to make you feel guilty for having a social life outside your marriage, even if rather inconveniently timed. Bless his good, good heart.
You shook your head with your smile lingering, barely hiding a smirk. âIâm not going anywhere, Mr. Rogers.â
His expression perked up again, his arm sneaking further around your waist as he observed you with playful curiosity. âOh? Are we going out? Did you plan something, Mrs. Rogers?â
To highlight his indulgence in calling you that â and god knew hearing him say that still sent butterflies to your stomach even after months of that being a reality â his hand moved from your cheek to take you left hand, fingers interlacing; your wedding bands made a soft clinking noise as they met, Steveâs gaze flickering to their combined light with such undiluted joy in that little action you couldnât but brush your lips over his again, something deep inside you trembling and preening at once.
Your husband.
âWould it be a bad thing? If I did plan something?â you asked, part coy, part genuine. âItâs okay if youâre not in mood for that.â
Steve only smiled wider, dropping a kiss to your knuckles and then your lips, before pulling back just a fraction. He observed you silently and almost absently, yet seemingly with mission-level intent.Â
The silence stretched as you awaited his answer, encouraging him â and yourself, because the silence was growing louder with every beat of your heart â with a suddenly unsure smile.
âSteve? Love?â
He blinked, shaking his head lightly. Before you could feel your stomach drop in disappointment at this being his answer, he spoke up.
âSorry, you⊠you look beautiful. Got a little distracted here.â
Your belly did a funny flip-flop that had no right to be so deep within; but this gorgeous man had no right to be so perfect either. And you loved him for it.
âI donât mind going out or staying,â he said softly. âIâm honestly just glad to be home. With you. Thatâs my favourite thing in the world. Being with you⊠here, in the home we made together.â
Tremble. Something within you trembled and it was almost comical how those words shook and soothed your soul, a sharp contrast to how very non-poetic your intention to seduce his body was. But that was how you seduced each other the first time and did so over and over again; body, mind and soul alike, tipping the scales in favour of one and then the other and back as the situation allowed.
It was your turn to blink now, fighting the burn of tears in your eyes, threatening to spill at the profound sincerity in Steveâs voice and the adoration in his beautiful blues; they turned all the prettier as a spark of mischief lit them up and he stepped back, releasing you from his warm embrace.
âBut, since you got all dolled-up and clearly made plans, it would be a waste. Want to tell me what my orders are, maâam?â
Excitement lighting up your nerves anew, you stepped back with a hum.
âWell⊠actually, I made plans to stay inâŠâ Steveâs eyebrow arched a bit, but something beautifully dark flashed in his eyes â a mute understanding that whatever you had planned, you had dolled up for him. For him and him only. âAnd since you said those people there were all talk, no listening, no action⊠I thought that maybe youâd a like a change of scenery.â
As you took another step back further into the apartment, Steve discarded his shoes in a lightning speed, his gaze never leaving your face, hanging on your lips for every syllable.Â
You bit back a satisfied smile, something hot stirring in your belly. âThat maybe, youâd like someone who can listen very well, and is willing to⊠act? Would you like to tell me my orders, Captain?â
His gaze went to roam â from the top to bottom, drinking in your attire, a perfect trap you had set for both of you to tangle in. The tall red heels. The coat for him to untie. The nylons â which Steve at this point must have understood were, in fact, thigh-highs, perhaps strapped to a garter belt. The hair. That lipstick. That damn lipstick that turned his eyes a shade darker and hungrier, his voice dropping two octaves.
âIs that what you want, sweetheart?â
You raised a challenging brow, a coy smile adorning your red red lips as you toyed with the hem of your coat; Steve knew you well-enough by now to know that you wouldnât have gone through all this trouble if you hadnât wanted that. You wanted.
You wanted him, with every fibre of your being, lit alive and reborn divine under his searing hot gaze. You longed to be his, however he pleased. To please him however you could.
At last, he got the message. He seemed to very much revel in that message, in fact.
âLetâs go to the bedroom then.â
He led you by the hand, even though you both knew the way and had walked it many times before, even when blinded by desire, with lips never parting, frantic stumbles and wandering impatient hands. Tonight, there was no rush; steps deliberately slow, you followed his lead, standing still by the doorway when he let go of your hand in favour of stripping his suit jacket as soon as you entered.
Your eyes followed his every move, indulging in the sight of his muscles rippling under the smooth fabric of his white shirt; indulging in the shudder of realization running down his body, coming after his brief confusion of finding you obediently exactly where he had left you.
You barely bit back a smirk at the way his breath hitched.
âAlrighte,â he breathed out as he walked to the foot of the bed, turning his back to it to look at you.
You had never had a man to look at you like that before; his gaze was like the most delicious shockwave igniting every cell in your body with desire and pride.
His. You were your own woman, but goddamn, were you his.
âAlright. Come here, sweetheart.â
You did. Hooked on his burning gaze as he seemed hypnotized by your every step, by every inch erased between you, you walked to him, only stopping when he settled his wide palm over your hip, his other hand soon joining on the other side.
For a moment, he simply observed you, your parted lips, your eyes blown wide, just as aroused by the dynamics as he was. Then, a warm yet mischievous smile lifted the corners of his lips, hands squeezing your hips.
You werenât sure what you had expected â a kiss, a toss on the bed, his hands ripping the fabric, all things you had encountered and more â but of all options, he chose the one your mind had not offered at the moment. His hands slid lower, inch by inch as he kneeled in front of you, sitting back on his heels, the heat of his skin seeping into yours the second his palms slipped past the edge of the fabric of your coat.
Sensual. Steve was most definitely in mood for sensual tonight and you were not going to complain if for nothing else than for having trouble breathing as his fingertips traced the thin ankle strap of your shoe, warm fingers delicately circling your ankle, cupping your calf, sneaking past your knee to spread over the back of your thigh, inching your legs apart so he could move the coat out of the way and press a lingering kiss to your where the lace of your thigh-high met bare skin of your inner thigh.
Your breath hitched in your throat when his free hand reached for the loose knot on your coat, dextrous fingers undoing it with ease and tugging, all while his lips brushed over your sensitive skin higher and higher towards the apex of your thigh.
âTake it off, love,â he whispered into your heat, tugging at the hem of your coat, the index finger of his other hand slipping under the strap of your garter belt, nosing along your inner thigh and inhaling deeply.
A shudder ran down your spine at the huskiness of his voice, leaving you with no space to even consider embarrassment at your husbandâs need to drown himself in the scent of your arousal; you busied yourself with stripping the coat in five seconds flat and dropping it on the floor, rewarded by his warm breathy chuckle.
âSo good for meâŠâ He looked up from his spot, caressing along the line of your panties, feasting his eyes on the delicate lace hugging your breasts, at the elaborate but feather-light pattern on your garter belt, at the barely-there panties covering your sex. The smoulder in his pupils as his gaze zeroed on his price was almost too much to bear. Whether you were shy or impatient, you couldnât tell, but your chest was heaving with every breath, your back arching just a bit at the praise that stroked something deep within you. âMy beautiful, irresistible wifeâŠâ
âSteve-â
He returned his attention to your thigh, sucking a lovebite just above the hem of your stocking, soothing the offended spot with a butterfly-soft kiss you couldnât help but sigh his name at again.
He hooked his fingers at the front straps of your garter, urging you forward, closer, as he sat on the floor, back leaning against the foot of the bed, tilting his head back and resting in on the mattress; a content smile played on his lips as if it was the most comfortable spot in the apartment, his hands roaming appreciatively. Over the curve of your hip. Following the pattern of the lace. Along the straps, along the hem. But never, never where your need for him burned, soaking the excuse of underwear over your sex.
âDidnât have such pretty view in D.C.,â he mused, gaze trailing over the thin fabric already shining with your arousal, trailing all over your body to your face, to your red lips painted just as you knew he loved them. âNever ceases to amaze me. Like a piece of art. So damn perfect⊠mine to touch.â
You didnât have timefor body insecurities with Steve. Any imperfection you saw, it didnât bother him; heâd kiss you everywhere, claiming and loving every piece of your body and soul and mind, as he hadnât forgotten to mention when he proposed; and then followed up with proving the first part of his claim with intense but the softest damn loving.
The memory of him getting on one knee with a glimmer of tears in his eyes quickly dispersed when his maddeningly delicate touch finally brushed over your slit, your hips instinctively bucking forward; Steve instantly used the opportunity to spread his palms under your bottom, urging you closer and closer until the front of your thighs met the mattress, effectively caging him in, mouth not more than an inch from your mound. He smiled up at you wickedly, forefinger drawing nonsensical patterns over your clothed sex.
âSteve, love-â
You lost your voice when he guided your knee to prop on the mattress next to his head, a violent tug of desire gripping at your core at the implication of what he wanted â stirring as much want as insecurity and hesitance.
You voice was shaky as your gaze found his, the question on your lips so quiet he might miss it hadnât it been for his enhanced hearing.
âSteve, are you⊠sure?â
One glance into his eyes told you was more than that.
And the mere thought of him doing what he was leading you towards felt like molten lava poured into your veins, nothing but smouldering heat left behind.
You had never done that. Not with him, not with anyone else.
It was true that Steve could get rather intense when it came to love making â or shameless fucking â but he always drew significant amount of his pleasure from your own. Your husband was but a giver, even as he always coaxed you to give it to him. He had sure been far from shy or prudish in the privacy of your quarters â or in certain cases no one must ever learn about, elsewhere â and he enjoyed all kinds of things, his mouth on you among them. You had explored together, dived into depths of pleasure you hadnât thought were possible. But you hadnât---not like this.
Not with you basically on top of his goddamn face.
âAre you?â he asked, pressing a brief kiss to the juncture of your thighs, looking at you from under his eyelashes with a challenge and a plea.
In your exploration, he had pushed your limits; but never you. Heâd never do anything that seemed even tad too uncomfortable for you. As of consequence, there was virtually nothing you wouldnât let him do, because you trusted him to stop at the first sign of your protest.
Okay. Okay. The utter wanton in his eyes shining through the sincerity was melting your brain. No choice to make.
You nodded, rewarded by a satisfied smirk that would have earned anyone else a smack to their face. But with Steve, there was something dangerously alluring about that instead; that smirk meant paradise aligning with hell awaiting you, whispered of you soon begging him â to stop or to continue, youâd never quite know yourself.
âWell then, remember you promised to listen⊠and do.â
Little shit, was as far as you got in your thoughts.
Because then he was wrapping a firm arm around your leg on the bed and pushing your panties aside and after a few teasingly careful licks, he began his feast like a starved man seated at the royal table.
Your hands found purchase on his hair and the bed, knees nearly buckling under the assault of pleasure, burning through your body like a wildfire. The way his wicked tongue played with you had you gasping his name in need bordering on desperation, chest tight as you were forgetting to breathe, core clenching so soon you couldnât quite believe it as the tidal wave of bliss washed over you, hips rocking in aftershocks, knees eventually giving out.
It was only for a split second that you worried you might smother Steve or splatter ungracefully on the floor; because Steve had you. He always had you. His supersoldier part undeniable, he caught you, manipulating your body so he could cradle you protectively as you came from your high and literal height, holding you against his chest as you straddled him with seemingly boneless legs.
You were hyperaware of every bit of praise spilling from your lips, whispered to your skin warmly, but you couldnât form words.
Not until his lips found yours, meeting in a soft kiss spiced with the tang of your essence, the most intimate kiss between lovers. He pushed the hair from your face tenderly, eyes both hungry and soft as if you werenât soaking his dress pants where your core met his evident arousal and you werenât both panting as if you had just run a marathon. His hand caressed up and down your spine, over and over, as if to ground you in reality.
A peck to your cheek. To your mouth. Your lips coming back to life at least, pressing to his jaw, to his smile.
âCould stay like this forever,â he whispered, nose trailing along your cheek, leaving a kiss under your ear, drawing a breathless chuckle from you. âWith you in my arms, your taste on my lips, head swimming from your sweet perfume and everything thatâs you⊠my wonderful wife⊠â
Blinking owlishly, you met his gaze as he cradled your cheek, hair a beautiful messy hallo from where you had tried to hold on when he was devouring you. His lips found yours again, a gentle murmur.
âYouâre my everything, you know that?â
You did. By god you did. It was impossible not to, even as that fact was but a pure stroke of a miracle. He was your everything too. Your alfa and your omega. Your weakness and your strength. Your love, unshakable foundation even on days when everything including his own hands did shake. Your home, whenever youâd go.
You ran your fingers through his golden locks, expression nothing short of tender, touch nothing short of reverent â as one should be when in face of a miracle.
âAnd youâre my home,â you whispered back.
Seconds ticked by in soft silence, pleasure still tingling all over your body, but it was the overwhelming love and need in Steveâs gaze that consumed you completely. Â
You didnât dare to blink. You didnât dare to breathe. You simply watched him living through a moment as precious to him as he was to you, electric tension rising and almost audibly crackling in the air.
And then he was gripping your nape, mouth claiming and devouring, one hand sliding under your bottom to lift you in a display of strength that never failed to make you dizzy and blinded you with desire unmatched despite having just come down from your high. You returned his kiss with the same fervour, hands grasping at his shirt, frantically searching for buttons to undo and then simply tugging hard until the thread gave out and sent the buttons flying, a nip of teeth to your lips accompanied with Steveâs dark chuckle like the sweetest song of victory.
He sat down at the bed with you still straddling him, helping you strip the shirt without your lips ever parting, his hands leaving you but for the fraction of second necessary to get rid of the fabric in your way and then you were both sighing in relief when your palms met the burning skin of his sculptured chest, his wide shoulders, his clenching abs.
âNeed you,â you confessed as soon as you got to breathe in, back at his lips the very next second, Steveâs large palm kneading your bottom, hips thrusting into yours and eliciting a wanton moan from you both. âAnd I want you in my mouth-â
A delicious growl rumbled in is chest, fingers tangled in your hair pulling just a little, tipping your head back to give him access to leave a string of kisses down the column of your throat, the deliberately slow bucks of his hips into yours never ceasing.
âYouâre a wicked little thing.â
You chuckled, a cheeky remark on your painfully free lips, the delightful friction between your bodies not nearly enough to sooth your thirst.
âYou do say Iâm wicked smart. Why this time?â
The nip of teeth on your collarbone and the way his fingers dug into your flesh had you barely stifle a gasp, but his answer was a reward for a work well-done.
âGoddamn you, woman, you know what you do to me, especially that lipstick-â
âI know what it does to you to see it smeared in certain places,â you breathed out, silenced by a bruising kiss to your lips and a light sting on the back of your thigh as Steve pulled at one of the strings of your garter and let it snap against your skin. Your wandering hands reached for his belt, almost tasting the salty tang of him already as youâd get on your knees for him.
âWicked,â he grunted against your mouth, lifting his hips â with you still on top â to help you strip his pants, âI thought I was giving the orders tonight.â
âOh you do, Captain,â you assured him, revelling a little too much at the twitch against your core as you blatantly used his title against him. âJust informing you Iâm willing.â
âDriving me crazy. Want you to want me just as much, to need me-â
âI do. Need to taste you-â
âJesus Christ-â he choked out, releasing you so you could press one last thorough kiss to his mouth and then slide down to your knees, grateful for the soft carpet.
Ridding Steve of the last piece of clothing, you took great care to maintain eye-contact as you stroked him, feather-light, and licked at the tip. The breathy sound resembling your name that left his lips when you wrapped your lips around the head sent a jolt of heat down your spine, hot satisfaction pooling in your belly and making your heart thunder in your chest.
Nothing had ever made you feel more powerful and treasured than Steve looking at you with half-lidded eyes, groaning as you took him deeper and bobbed your head, closing your lips tight around him as you pulled back to smear as much of the sinful red colour down his cock, his hands gripping the sheets so hard the fabric might tear.
God, he was gorgeous; a wrecked angel-like figure made for worship and sin, they only deity you needed, sculpted to divine perfection.
His fingers tangled gently at your hair, only to twitch repeatedly as he was holding back the strength he wanted to use keep you right there, always making you want to swallow around him harder to make him lose that control; the curses, the deliciously prolonged fuuuck tasting like a victory, the fuck-- sweetheart, you feel like heaven a blessing that stirred pure lust deep within your core.
He was done for almost too soon; a little work, a hint of a sinful smile in the corner of your lips as you watched him lose layer after layer of control to reveal the primal drive that made him just as human as any. Once your hands joining your efforts, he was spilling down your throat, eyes squeezed shut in an image of absolute heavenly ruin.
You waited for him to flutter his eyes open; not having even gone soft in your mouth, you dragged your lips down his length to leave the last red and glossy mark, the string of blasphemy leaving his mouth telling you he didnât give a damn thing about your tear-smeared mascara but cared a whole lot about the prettily ruined lipstick. When you licked your lips as if he had just given you your favourite treat, he practically dragged you back to his lap, seemingly torn between proposing all over again and lamenting you were going to be his death.
Yet, he kissed you tenderly like a precious porcelain doll and reached for the wet wipe in the nightstand drawer to gently clean the black smears down your cheek. The smudged lipstick he indulgently wiped with his thumb before his mouth slanted over yours again, the thrumming passion between you growing louder again; you were dripping down your thighs from the appreciative gaze and the taste of him alone and Steve was rarely ever sated with climaxing just once. Especially after a week apart.
With his most acute hunger sated, however, he took time to admire the view again, even with your shoes finally discarded, indulging in the delicate lace instead, in the warmth of your body, in your perfume and the scent of your skin. His voice dropped low in volume, intimate whispers of how he wanted to see you take him deep and make you his, fingers gently stretching you to accommodate his impressive size before he led you to sink down on his length at last, filling you up so deliciously and completely.
With bodies stilled, the time seemed to slow down too. Eyes blown wide and dark, but with a sweet curl to your lips as you tasted each other over and over again, you both revelled in the sensation of being connected; brushes of fingertips, kisses to your lips, to your neck, to your sternum and breasts; to his chest, to his shoulders, to his kiss-swollen lips, wherever you could reach.
âI missed you, sweetheart,â he confessed between encounters of lips, the softest voice with a husky aftertaste. âMissed this. Never going to another conference again.â
You almost chuckled at the unrealistic prospect, touched all the same.
âMissed you more⊠might go to a conference every once in a while. For science.â
Steve grunted in protest, palms framing your face as he observed with a slightly amused pout to his kiss-swollen lips.
âHm. Sounds like your argument contradicts your hypothesis there, Doc.â
This time, you did chuckle a bit, raising an eyebrow even as you caressed his cheek, index finger tapping the pouty lower lip. âWell sue me, Iâm a little dazed. Iâm allowed. I finally have you for myself after a week, Steve.â
He caught your hand, pressing a kiss to the pad of your finger, something devilish flashing in his eyes.
âThat you do. Iâm all yours. My smart, beautiful wifeâŠâ he coaxed with a kiss, hand landing lightly on your waist, hips thrusting up to encourage you to roll yours. There was no need to do so twice. You rocked your pelvis, jaw falling slack at the delightful sensation. A single movement and pleasure was spreading to every nerve ending, coil in your belly forming; Steve responded in kind, urging you on to keep going and set a pace.
âSo good to me, sweetheart⊠so precious.â
âThatâs it. So damn gorgeous like that--- look at me, love.â
âMaking me feel so good⊠love having you like this. Never gonna get enough of this, of youâŠâ
Golden. You felt so damn golden under his touch, from inside out, caressed with every single appreciative word spilling from his lips so naturally.
God, you had needed that. You needed that more than you had realized, having pushed down all the unpleasant interactions that had piled up during the week, interactions that made you feel everything but good, precious, brilliant or gorgeous. With every word, Steve poured his faith and love into the cracks in your being and healed them, silencing every doubt, grounding you so profoundly in the pleasure you shared that every single cell in your body ignited with something divine. The coil in your belly was strung so tight you almost felt yourself falling, if youâd only--- if heâd-
âSteve, please, I need-â
âI know what you need, love. Iâve got you.â
Your climax erupted through your body with Steveâs mouth wrapped around your nipple, his dextrous fingers digging into your ass and playing with your clit.
He found his release as he kneeled behind you and caged you to his front, one hand around your throat to angle your head for a sloppy kiss, the other spread wide over your lower belly, sneaky fingertips having coaxed another Earth-shattering orgasm from you.
Somewhere along the way, your lacy attire had ended up in shreds where Steve pulled a little too hard; the remnants of garter belt and stockings were carefully stripped by Steveâs tender fingers as he cleaned you up with a warm cloth before covering you with several kisses and only then with the comforter.
He wrapped his arm around you, pulling you to his side and simply holding you as close as humanly possible, living and revelling in the moment just until his stomach growled.
After a semi-serious joke about taking you as a dessert for the second time, you lazily ordered take-out for three since you had worked up an appetite, moving to the couch. A movie in the background, Steve shared some of the highlights and escapades of the past few days from the conference and DC â as much as he could anyway. In return, you shared your own â as much as you could anyway. When in each otherâs embrace, the trouble seemed far away; and what had felt like a path to the next Armageddon suddenly appeared considerably more manageable.
You were practically asleep, half-sprawled over Steveâs chest, when he pressed another kiss to your scalp, this time lingering.
âI love you⊠and thank you. That truly was a nice welcome home,â he said, bringing a ghost of a tired smile to your lips.
âItâs our home, Steve⊠You should always feel welcome. Loved.â
âAnd I do. Coming home to you is the most precious thing,â he mused, caressing your hair when you snuggled impossibly closer to him, inhaling the comforting scent of all that was him. âBut you walking the extra mile⊠that truly makes me the luckiest guy in the universe.â
You hummed, his words warming you more thoroughly than his body and the blanket combined. You pressed a kiss to his sternum over his sleepshirt.
âAnd Iâm the luckiest woman. I love you, Steeeve⊠Iâm sorry-â
His chest shook under your cheek softly as your confession turned into a yawn, but he took it as a sign. He half-carried you to the bathroom and carried you entirely by the time you were done with your nighttime routine.
You murmured another love you, sleep well as you laid your head on the pillow, cradled in Steveâs protective embrace, his words reaching your ears from a terrible, terrible distance, but tasted just as sweet as ever.
âI will, love. I most definitely will.â
Complete masterlist
Steve Rogers masterlist
Aren't they just sweet? đ„ș Happy belated birthday, Stevie đ I hope you enjoyed - feedback is always welcomedđ
Prompts, as promised:
Pouncing on your partner as soon as they arrive home from a trip away
âMy favourite thing in the world is being here with you.â
Kinks: praise, soft!dom, oral
Now if you'll excuse me, I'll go bath in holy water and pray to my muse that she'll let me write longfic too đ€
#fanfiction#steve rogers x reader#steve rogers imagine#steve rogers x you#steve rogers#captain america#captain america x you#captain america x reader#captain america imagine#steve rogers fanfiction#steve rogers fanfic#sweet and ours tonight#anika ann
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Description: Three words, eight letters, a phrase that is felt more than it is spoken. This is my take on how some of the Wind Breaker characters say "I love you" for the first time. Characters: Hajime Umemiya, Tasuku Tsubakino, Haruka Sakura, & Hayato Suo. Word Count: 2.6k Not proofread, oops. Contains: Fem!Reader x Multiple Charcters (separate). Fluff. Some slight hurt/comfort if you squint.
Author's Note: Fluff? Something other than smut? From me? Wow. We love character development. But this has been on my mind for AGES so I finally am getting it out. I haven't been feeling the greatest either so please enjoy some very self-indulgent fluff. (¯³¯)âĄ
You and Umemiya had been together for a while. You both adored each other, tender kisses and lingering touches were commonplace in your relationship. You had met Kotoha, and the others at the group home and have been attached to his side for almost a year. He wasnât sure what was holding him back from saying those three little words. Perhaps it was his past, he had lost those who he had nearest and dearest to his heart. Their end unraveled right before his very eyes. Umemiya had so much love to give, and so many people he loved to give it to.
But often, he found it next to impossible to let the words slip past his lips. Instead, he showed his love in different ways. Bringing Kotoha patrons and supplying her with crops from his garden for her restaurant. A warming smile and a promise that Bofurinâs big brother would keep his found family safe. Always the first to offer a listening ear or a shoulder when needed. But never those words. Three short words, one syllable each. He knew he could say them but something deep down was stopping him. An irrational fear that if he had, the one he said it to would go too.
That was before he met you. Umemiya hid his darkness well. A well-placed smile and a childish affect cleared the thought anyone could ever have that the feelings he buried so deep even could exist within him. One you found easily. The light you had brought into his world shone brighter than any darkness that could ever threaten to shroud him. The warmth that settled in his chest when you looked his way. His laughter more genuine since you had come into his life. He knew from the moment he had met you, the moment he had first lost himself in your eyes, that they were the eyes he wanted to get lost in every day for the rest of his life. So why, even after all this time could he not say he loved you?
You had always joked that you had a grey thumb, unable to grow anything and that you were fortunate enough to have his abilities for gardening. One of the things he loved most about you was the amount of effort you put into his interests. He was coming up to the rooftop, it was late summer and he was excited to see what was ready to harvest. He was surprised to hear your voice, looking around the corner he saw you watering the plants. Just as he had shown you how to. âYou're looking beautiful today, growing nice and big and strong.â You sighed, feeling ridiculous, shaking your head. You jumped, nearly out of your skin hearing Umemiyaâs giggles. âSunflower what are you doing?â He said between peals of laughter
âI read online that talking to the plants could help them grow, I donât know how well itâll work.â You sigh shaking your head feeling a little silly. However, Umemiyaâs heart was soaring, you had taken it upon yourself not only to express interest in something important to him but to go out of your way to care for it even when out of his presence. His eyes softened, cupping your cheek he leaned down to slot his lips against yours. The embrace was gentle, lips molding together as if they were only made to be with the other. He parted from you after a moment, breaths fanning against your lips as he spoke. âI love you, my sunflower.â He smiled against your mouth as he kissed you once more, knowing no matter what came next he would be by your side until he drew his last breath.
Tsubaki had only felt comfortable in his own skin in recent years. Having spent so long conflicted with himself regarding his appearance. He was so fortunate that for those who didnât support his choice in his appearance, he had so many who were right there by his side, rooting him on. But it wasnât always like that. For longer than Tsubaki cares to remember he was all alone. Forced to walk his path in constant fear of ridicule. He was teaching himself to fight to protect himself from those who would try and hurt him on the sole premise of being true to himself. Those days felt like a lifetime ago. Because now he had Bofurin, because now he had you.
Tsubaki couldnât forget the first time you had both met even if he tried. He was just starting to dress more feminine, his hair an awkward shoulder length. Still learning how to apply makeup. There were a few boys from his grade who were taunting him, calling him names, and throwing things in his direction. Normally he would have stood his ground, beating them to a pulp for what they were doing. But Tsubaki was tired, tired of having to defend himself, tired of having to be so strong just to live as he chose to. How he felt most beautiful. He wasnât that strong by choice, he was strong because he had to be. Because Tsubaki had to be stronger than their ignorance. Tears welled up in his vision at their harsh words, about to get up and defend himself once more.
Before he could get to his feet, however, he heard a voice call out, capturing the attention of his assailants. Stood there was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, delicate features enhanced by the soft cosmetics that had adorned your face. He watched with wide-eyed fascination as you ran up, the closed fist of your manicured hand coming into contact with their leaderâs jaw, sending him to the ground upon impact. Tsubaki couldnât move, he watched, frozen as you gracefully fought the group that had been trying to bring him harm. Tsubaki was strong, and more than capable of handling them on his own, but in that moment he learned that he didnât have to. He didnât have to fight his battles alone anymore, because now he had you.
He remembered stumbling over his own name when you had asked for it, cheeks a dark shade of red when you smiled at him. He remembered the way your hand had felt in his grasp for the first time as you dragged him back to your house to get cleaned up. Humming as you wiped the dirt from his cheeks, in a very similar manner as you were doing right now. He lay in your bed, your thighs straddling his waist as you hummed, swiping the brush along his cheek, applying the peachy blush you said paired so well with his complexion. You paused in your humming meeting his eyes that gazed up into yours with adoration, giggling softly. âWelcome back, that was some daze you were in. Whatâs on your mind gorgeous?â
Tsubakiâs cheeks flushed deeper than the powder that painted his skin. Tucking your hair behind your ear, you sent him a smile, soft and full of tenderness. Tsubaki wasnât sure he believed in love at first sight, but he knew from the moment he met you that he loved you, and over time that love had only grown. Reaching up a hand, thumb swiping your cheek as he returned your loving gaze. âJust thinking about how much I love you, thatâs all beautiful.â
Haruka wasnât familiar with love. Often times he found it nearly impossible to express his feelings. Before coming here, even something as simple as kindness was a foreign concept to him. Being so often judged upon first glance he never got the opportunity to even try to build relationships. So after a while he had given up trying, That was before he came here. Before he was welcomed in with open arms. Before he found the only place he felt like he truly belonged. But you. You had opened up his world to so much more. You showed him what love could feel like, An emotion he never thought he could ever feel let alone have bestowed upon him.
You were much more open with your love, taking care of him when he got sick after a fight, making sure he was eating and taking care of himself. You had teased him relentlessly when you first met. Adoring the deep flush in his cheeks and the reactions you could pull so easily from him. Eventually, that teasing morphed into affection, which blossomed into love. You still had a habit of teasing him, but it was never ill-mannered always coupled with your beautiful laughter. And if he got to hear that beautiful sound bubbling past your lips, he would deal with the heat that graced his cheeks and the pounding in his chest.
You both had been together for quite some time, well past the point of the outbursts you had first been met with when openly showing your affection. Long past the point where he would feel the urge to run for the hills the second you called him one of the plethora of pet names you had bestowed upon him. But he still struggled to verbalize his feelings for you. He knew you were well aware of his feelings toward you. What he couldnât express through words he showed through his actions. He was eternally grateful to your seemingly unending patience with him. Being well aware of his past you knew he would say it when he was ready. It wasnât as if he had never said it before, but those times were when you were fast asleep next to him. His fingers carded through your hair as he gazed upon your relaxed features, whispering those three words in the silence of night. But as you lay here in his arms, looking up at him with those beautiful eyes of yours he knew that he needed you to hear how he felt. Not just feel it. Leaning down he brushes his lips against your own, lips slotting together like two puzzle pieces, perfectly fit to one another.
His eyes are soft with fondness as you pull away from the kiss, head tilting to lean into the touch of your hand. His eyes locked with yours, lidded with adoration. His lips melting against yours, arms encircling your waist. He hums thoughtfully against your lips. His heart felt warm, pulling away he looked into your eyes, a soft smile tugging at the corners of his lips. âYou know, I sit and I think to myself sometimes âgod I can never love you more than I do right nowâ and you consistently test that theory by making me fall more in love with you every day.â His heart raced in his chest, never the best at expressing his emotions, but in this moment Sakura needed to tell you how he felt. Never one to back down, despite being able to hear his heart racing in his ears as he continued to speak. Â âYour smile still makes my heart pound, your laugh still makes my head feel fuzzy, and your kisses still make me feel like Iâm floating. I love you so much.â
He gives you a soft smile pulling you close once more to kiss your lips, hand now coming to rest at the back of your neck to keep you in place as his lips meld with yours once more. Before moving here Sakura could confidently say that he had never felt at home anywhere. He was alone, perfectly fine never planting roots, he had believed it would always be that way. What he didnât realize was that home was more than where you returned to at the end of the day. It would be something he found in you. Because his home was right here, in your arms. His home was you.
Suo hummed to himself, walking through the isles of the florist, perusing the flowers. He had made it a habit from your first date to always have fresh flowers for you, showcasing their beauty that in his eyes was rivaled only by your own. When he had presented you with the first bouquet, you had scrunched up your nose reporting to not understand the purpose of a gift that would eventually die. From that moment he decided he would always have fresh flowers to decorate your space. Showing you that their beauty may be temporary but the flora could hold deeper meaning.
He was fascinated by the symbolism of flowers. But he very specifically took delicate care in every single flower that was showcased in a bouquet he arranged for you. For a man like Suo, someone who never showed a crack in his armor, never showing his true feelings often relied on subtle ways to show his love. The first flower he had selected for the bouquet were violets, their heart-shaped petals reflecting their meaning of everlasting love and devotion. Historically a gift of violets was a declaration to always be true. These flowers were common amongst the arrangements he curated with their placement, a promise to offer you the same. The next flower to join the arrangement followed a similar sentiment. Representing strength and love was the gladiolus. It was once believed that the beauty of the gladiolus could pierce anotherâs heart with love, the same could be said for the way you had done to him. Their purple hue paired nicely with the violets, the color symbolizing the beauty in the love you shared. The flowers to follow would showcase similar significance. Babyâs breath for undying love, calla lilies for beauty, and pink camellias for longing.
Suo was always deliberate in each flower he chose for you, choosing to convey his emotion through the meaning behind each flower he placed delicately in the arrangement. Smiling to himself, satisfied with the selection he had chosen. Sitting at his table as he placed them in their wrapping, being sure to pluck one from the bunch, placing it in a vase so when it began to wilt he would know it was time to gift you a new arrangement. Once he was satisfied, he set off to your apartment, knocking on the door. His signature smile graced his handsome features as he took you in. âHello there beautiful, I have something for you.â
You smiled at Suo, taking the flowers from his grasp, and replacing the old arrangement with his assistance. You were very aware of Suoâs knowledge of flora, he would often tell you the meanings they held while out together. So much so that you began to look into it yourself. Taking what you knew of the flowers now to assess the arrangement. Eyes soft as you turned to your boyfriend. Hand curling around the back of his neck to pull him down to your level, lips brushing against his. The both of you melted into the tender kiss, your other hand coming to cup his cheek as his found purchase on your waist. Pulling away, you pressed your forehead against his looking into the rich auburn of his visible eye. âI love you too, Haya.â Your words were met with his gentle laughter. Taking one of your hands in his own, his lips brushing against your knuckles. âI love you, more than words could ever express, my sweet baby.â
Suo smiled looking down at you, knowing each flower he had plucked from your bouquets had been dried and coated. Keeping a memento of how despite your initial feelings on the gift, even flowers that have died could still be enjoyed. Those flowers were placed in a special place, kept safe. One day he planned to have the dried flowers arranged into their own bouquet. One he would present you alongside a ring, a promise to love you until the very last one died, knowing these flowers never would.
Dividers by saradika-graphics. Writing & character banners by me. If you enjoyed it, consider taking a look at my masterlist: here.
#wind breaker x reader#windbreaker x reader#windbreaker fluff#wind breaker fluff#hajime umemiya x reader#umemiya x reader#umemiya hajime x reader#umemiya fluff#tsubaki x reader#tsubakino x reader#haruka sakura x reader#sakura haruka x reader#haruka sakura fluff#sakura fluff#sakura x reader#hayato suo x reader#suou x reader#suo x reader#hayato suou x reader#hayato suo fluff#suo fluff#windbreaker anime#wind breaker#windbreaker#umemiya hajime#hajime umemiya#umemiya#haruka sakura#sakura haruka#sam writes
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Study Break II R. George
Pairing: student!Regina George (2024) x law student!Reader
Warning(s): Reader not eating enough
Authors note: Iâm in the middle of uni exams this week so I wrote a little something to indulge myself :)
Summary: College!AU - Regina is worried about your study habits and decides to intervene.
Word count: 1.6k
Regina leaned against the door frame, watching you hunched over your textbooks, completely engrossed in your studies. The thick civil code books were laying open on the side, several coloured tabs sticking out to keep track of the laws you needed to use for your upcoming exams. Regina thought it almost looked like a rainbow at this point. That was the only pretty thing about the stuff on your desk though, it looked like a bomb exploded with the mess youâve made.
"Babe, can you take a break? I miss spending time with you," Regina pouted, hoping to draw your attention away from the books in front of you. Her pout usually did the trick. She wanted to have some quality time with you since you havenât been spending time with her these past few days, too engrossed with your studies. You even stopped having dinner with her.
You glanced up briefly, your brow furrowed in concentration. "Sorry Gina, I really need to focus. These exams are important."
Regina sighed dramatically, crossing her arms as she walked closer to you. Did you just really resist her pout? "You've been studying nonstop for days. Don't you think you're overdoing it a bit?"
You paused, looking at Regina with concern. "I know, but I need to do well in this. It's important for my future. I donât want to be a failure."
Regina softened, her concern for you overriding her desire for attention. Regina almost laughed at this realisation, her High School-self could never. "I understand, but I'm worried about you. You need to take care of yourself too."
You reached out to take Regina's hand, caressing it. "I appreciate your concern, babe. But I really need to study now, Iâm fine.â you said with a reassuring smile, concentrating back on your books.
Regina frowned and decided she needed to change her approach, this was clearly not working. So instead of complaining or outing her concerns, Regina tried to engage in a conversation with you.
âWhat are you studying, anyways?â Regina curiously inquired as she saw her girlfriend so intensely focused.
She never asked you about the content of your studies before, because she probably wouldnât understand it. She, on the other hand, always excitedly rambled to you about whatever she learned that day. From fashion designers to fashion history, Regina shared it all. You didnât mind it, though. Seeing your girlfriend so excited about her studies made you happy too and extra knowledge never hurt anyone. It was a nice contrast to your law studies.
âLegal philosophyâ you replied curtly.
âSounds boringâ Regina remarked. Her efforts were met with a dismissive attitude from you, causing Regina to frown in disappointment. But Regina wouldnât let this deter her from trying again.
âWhat are you reading about now, then?â Regina asked once again, looking over your shoulder at the book you were currently reading.
âThe Case of the Speluncean Explorersâ you responded, perplexed by Reginaâs sudden interest in your âboringâ law studies. Especially after she just complained about not getting any attention from you.
âThe what explorers?â
âThe Speluncean Explorers,â you explained, slightly exasperated. âItâs a fictional judgement where five judges with different opinions shed their light on a fictional case. Five explorers got stuck in a cave and eventually ran out of food so⊠they agreed to eat one person so the other four could survive. They decided who it should be by throwing a dice and when the remaining four explorers were rescued they got a murder charge. I really need to study now if you donât mind.â You hoped this elaborate answer would satisfy Reginaâs curiosity so you could refocus on your studies.
When Regina kept silent after your explanation you thought you managed to fend off your girlfriend for the time being. Wrong.
Regina felt increasingly ignored by your continued focus on studying and your dismissive attitude towards her. So she decided to retort to an old tactic â a kiss to divert your attention. Despite being in college now and attempting to leave her manipulative ways behind, Regina deemed this situation an emergency. You would definitely cave in after a kiss.
Regina put her fingers under your chin, turning your face towards her. Then, she leaned in and pressed her lips softly to yours.
That sudden display of affection caught you off guard, but as Regina deepened the kiss your resistance immediately faded away. The tension in your shoulders eased as you gave into your girlfriend. Regina gently took the book you were holding from you.
âRegina, no. I need to studyâ you pulled away and protested, but Regina just kissed you again.
âWhat was that for, anyway?â you questioned her as you finally broke apart.
âSo youâd be focused on something else than your studies. I deserve some attention too, you know? Not only your stupid booksâ Regina smirked.
You narrowed your eyes at her âI know what youâre trying to doâ you told her and turned back to your desk. As you attempted to pick up your books once more, Regina shot you an ice cold glare. "If you don't put that book down right now... I swear to god you'll regret it," she warned, her tone leaving no room for argument. Regina rarely used that glare on you, but when she did? She was serious about it. Her glare and tone of voice caused you to immediately put your book back down, holding your hands up in surrender.
"That's what I thought," Regina asserted, a smirk playing on her lips. "Now, youâre cleaning up this mess of books and notebooks on this desk first," she declared, taking charge of the situation and asserting her authority over the chaotic study environment you created over the last week. How you could even study in this mess was a mystery to Regina.
Reluctantly, you set aside your textbooks and notes as Regina took charge of making dinner in the meantime, bustling about the kitchen.
The aroma of home-cooked food soon filled the air, causing a low rumble to come from your stomach. You quickly finished cleaning up your stuff and walked to the kitchen where Regina stood behind the stove.
âThat smells deliciousâ you told your girlfriend as you embraced her from behind, resting your chin on her shoulder.
âIt does, huh? Can you set the table for me, please?â Regina requested.
âOf courseâ you replied, giving Regina a kiss on the cheek before removing yourself from her. You set the table for dinner and sat down, waiting for Regina and the food.
As Regina set the steaming hot plates of food on the table, you immediately started eating before Regina herself had even the chance to get seated.
Regina observed you quickly shoving down the food she made with concern. It's a confirmation of her suspicions â you hadnât been eating well all week, too consumed by your studies to the point you forgot to eat. With a pointed look, Regina breaks the silence. âI'm definitely keeping a closer eye on you when the next exam period comes up. You're not taking care of yourself properly. Youâre never skipping dinner with me again in an exam period," Regina said, her gaze unwavering.
You frowned at her and attempted to deflect her concern. âYou really don't need to, that's asking too much of you." you insisted
But Regina's resolve remains unyielding. "I don't care what you think. I'm keeping an eye on you. And that's final," she declares, her words leaving no room for argument. With a sigh you accept defeat, knowing that Regina canât be swayed once she has her mind set on something.
Thatâs one thing that hasnât changed since high school: Regina always gets what she wants.
After dinner, you cleared the table and did the dishes together. Then, Regina insisted on cuddling with you.
Entering your room, you see Regina is already situated on the bed. She already removed her makeup and changed into something more comfortable.
"Come here, you," Regina said, opening her arms wide with a playful smile. "I need some cuddles."
You hesitated for a moment before relenting, changing into comfier clothes and joining your girlfriend in bed. As your head hit the silk pillow (that Regina bought for you, because according to her itâs better for your hair) you sighed in content. "I guess I could use some cuddles too," you admitted softly, smiling back at your girlfriend.
Regina pulled you close, wrapping you in a warm embrace. âNow, I know youâre tired so Iâll let you go to sleep in a bit, but you do need to promise me to give me attention tomorrow.â she said, softly stroking your hair.
âI promise, my loveâ you murmur, pressing a gentle kiss to Reginaâs forehead.
Eventually exhaustion takes hold of you both, and you drift off to sleep, wrapped in each other's embrace.
The next day you would spend no time on your studies, but only on Regina. You were determined to make it up to her. You even took her out on a spontaneous date to one of the high end restaurants she loved to make up for the lack of attention you gave her the past week. Afterwards the two of you went shopping and then cuddled for the remainder of the evening.
And your exams? Passed with flying colours.
#jromanoff fics#regina george x reader#mean girls x reader#regina george x you#regina george fluff#regina george fic#regina george imagines#regina x reader#regina george imagine#regina x you#regina george fanfic#mean girls imagines
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the triple goddess in astrology
the triple goddess is represented by 3 archetypes in 1 to describe the multi-layered experience of the divine feminine. they are the maiden, the mother, and the crone.
the maiden: venus
the maiden is the archetype of the young woman who is grounded in her identity, her sexuality, her gifts, her desires, and her standards. she's confident in herself and what she wants, allowing her to cultivate meaningful connections that elevate her on this soul journey. she recognizes that this is her world and you are just living in it. the sign of your venus tells you how you are meant to embody this maiden innerG.
âŸâïœĄ for example, a virgo venus is meant to embody her maiden energy through being of service to herself and others with integrity. this means that she doesn't let people take advantage of her and she doesn't do shit for people with manipulative intentions. she only allows what serves her highest good into her life, from what she eats to the environments that she takes space in, because when she focuses and allows only what serves her, she is also of service to The Most High.
the mother: moon
the mother is the archetype of the woman who gives birth to her creations + nurtures them so that they can grow to sustain life on their own. this is deeper than just having kids âthis applies to all creations which once started off as a desire. she is an effective nurturer because she recognizes the importance of taking care of herself first. she uses her heart space to heal her wounds through compassion + forgiveness and in turn cultivates a loving community through the love that she fosters. her first home is herself and her life is a desired reflection of everything she already holds within her. the sign of your moon tells you how you are meant to embody your inner mother innerG.
âŸâïœĄ for example, a capricorn moon is meant to embody their mother innerG by reconciling the energy connected to family trauma (especially their parental relationships) and not letting their childhood traumas + resentment bleed into the way that they care for themselves and others. she doesn't add unnecessary pressure to herself and shows grace to self + others. she leads by not being too hard on herself and those that look up to her and depend on her. she trusts herself to lean into her femininity + allows others to support her instead of always being the one that others are always relying on.
the crone: saturn
the crone archetype is the wise, older woman who is a pillar in the community, being able to provide support and insight for others due to the hardships + lessons that she experienced. people look up to her as an authority figure because she has the wisdom to guide others in the right direction. she isn't distracted by what's going on in the world + uses her time wisely because she's aware that she won't be here forever. she doesn't entertain bullshit and while others may call her mean, she stands firm on her boundaries. this is that grandmotherly innerG that is very supportive + protective of our highest good by holding us accountable. the sign of your saturn is meant to show you how to embody your inner crone.
âŸâïœĄ for example, a cancer saturn is meant to embody their crone by holding herself emotionally accountable to cultivate healthy connections with others. she is aware of the "generational curses" that she has karmically acquired though the bloodline and doesn't play the blame game, recognizing that it is her duty to break those curses so that those same karmic patterns aren't played out in her connections and the family that she has/will create for herself one day. she is aware of the complexity of humans + their emotions and is able to teach + heal others through her own experiences with family + other loved ones that are or were once near and dear to the heart.
#daportalpractitioner#astrology observations#astro observations#astrology#astro notes#astrology notes#astrology predictions#astrology community#spirituality#astroblr#divine feminine#divine feminine energy#venus#moon#saturn#virgo venus#cancer saturn#capricorn moon#triple goddess#goddess#astro community#astro predictions
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