#See if you can't do something just don't do it it's very simple
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fatliberation · 1 day ago
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Sorry for leaving this in your inbox, but I need to vent and ask for advice in a place where people won't mock me. What do you do when sex is super difficult because of your fat? I've recently gotten into my first relationship and. I thought I had a handle on my internalized fatphobia and self hate but this has made it worse than ever. We can't have satisfying penetrative sex (we've tried all the tips and workarounds. Nothing works. I'm larger than most of the FA community.), and recieving oral sex is also difficult for me. I also get tired and sweaty extremely quickly if I have to like hold up myself on mostly my arms or something, so he has to do most of the work. So sex is just. Mostly the one that works on repeat, and we don't have it very often because it isn't that fun for either of us, and it also makes me cry afterwards sometimes because of how disappointing it is & me beating myself up over it.
I'm genuinely worried my boyfriend is going to leave me for this. He's clearly very frustrated with the situation, even though he tries to be nice about it most of the time. Earlier today I tried to like be flirty and hint at stuff and he just. got a bit sad. and then said that clearly neither of us enjoy the sex we're having and that he has a lot of trouble staying hard.and that he doesn't see the point when we're both forcing it for no reason. I think he's going to break up with me soon. His ex is way lighter than me, so he's probably comparing the normal sex he had with her with whatever the fuck this abnormal shitshow is :/
All the work I've done on myself to be happy with being fat (including working up the courage to date, what a mistake that was lmao) is all gone. This has ruined my self-esteem so much. I feel like one of those fatphobic jokes but a person.
first and foremost, please try your best to remember this: your body is not the problem. one more time. your body is not the problem. I'm so very sorry you're concerned that your boyfriend would leave you over this. it sounds like he has a lot of preconceived ideas about how sex is supposed to go. I promise you that it doesn't have to be this way. if this is something that could really end the relationship, know that this person is not compatible or open to exploring your needs, rather than your needs being "too difficult." I promise it's him, not you. I know folks who are 600+ pounds who have excellent sex lives and partners who satisfy them and enjoy satisfying them. when someone starts treating your pleasure like a chore, that's just shitty. I know how much it hurts. it also does damage to your own openness to pleasure. when you're caught up in feeling like sex/your body is something that needs to be "fixed," nothing is going to feel sexy, because all that pressure puts stress on and takes you out of the mental state where you're able to experience pleasure. does that make sense? so many couples get stuck in this cycle.
there are so many ways to engage in pleasure without penetration or orgasm. there's a lot that goes into foreplay, setting a mood, making your partner feel appreciated and attractive. words and touch play a huge part in this. something as simple as exploring each other's bodies, not with the intention of reaching climax, but simply to be vulnerable and engage each others' senses. have your partner give you a massage. play with your hair. tickle your back with a feather. shower together. kiss you. compliment you. if either of you are into any kinks or dirty talk, that could be a great way to engage each other sexually without the pressure of "achieving" a goal. the goal here is just to feel good, close, and connected. societal messaging about sex has placed so much importance on orgasm instead of pleasure - when taking the time and space to relax and receive attention, is key.
feel free to check out my other posts on fat sex ed, there's lots of assistive toys that can make pleasure more accessible, but I think that should be a tool for later, since the biggest issue here is the pressure to perform. know that pleasurable sex can exist for you! but for now, I would recommend taking a break from sex altogether since it is not pleasurable for you right now. because pleasure is the whole point. forcing it is only going to feel worse. you do not owe it to your boyfriend, especially if it doesn't feel good and is taking an emotional toll. I hope you both are able to take a step back, reassess and communicate, and are able to reconnect and create a safe space to explore.
I understand why you're beating yourself up over this, I've been there too. but also know that it's just another societal standard that's been internalized (and it doesn't sound like your boyfriend is helping). like you said, you've done a lot to unlearn fatphobia. there's a lot of internalized beliefs we absorb from society surrounding sex, just like body image. I promise that there is nothing wrong with you. If your boyfriend takes his frustration out on you instead of making you feel safe to express your needs, then he's not a supportive partner. you deserve someone who takes delight in your pleasure and your body. believe me, we're out there.
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f-cat · 2 days ago
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Arts & Laughs #2 - Mercy We re-opened the studio briefly after the holidays and checked our inbox; I can't tell you how full it was. Thousands and thousands of emails sent to us from fans around: "When are you opening back up? I want to try." "When are you bringing this lee back?" "Where do I sign up?"
I don't have all the answers to these questions yet, but we did open our doors for even more depraved ideas, so we tossed out another questionnaire on what fans would have liked to see. For those of you who don't know, in my free time - I like to dabble in art, and I received an inquisitive message via the questionnaire from a fan: "How do you paint women?" Well, this had me thinking, and of course - the mind wanders. Naturally, I held a conference with Fantine to get confirmation on whether this was interesting or not, and the answer was a resounding maybe. What's life if we don't try something new? This is something we call "Arts & Laughs," where we bring in any ticklee intelligent enough to explore our "experimental division," take off their shoes, and paint their bare feet. One thing I've learned - those bristles on a paintbrush can be very tickly (from personal experience, don't ask) - especially when we apply a special, oily paint to go with it (not actual oil paints). So naturally, we brought in one of our most willing lees in the studio - Dr. Ziegler. She was happy to volunteer herself for this kinky little experiment.
We strapped her down and stocked her up - wrists and all - and got to work. We got rid of her loafers and socks, took up a brush, and started tickling. I decided to paint Mercy's right sole a salubrious silver, while Fantine went with a gorgeous gold on her left, and let me tell you - the moans and laughter that erupted from this Swiss beauty were amazing.
You see, paintbrushes feel interesting when we slowly drag its bristles against the skin, but when we speed things up...well it just glides across her bare feet and does its job of tickle torture - though I think that really depends on the ticklee. Angela not only adores being tickled but also has sensitive soles, which made this little experiment of ours a no-brainer. Fantine's favorite thing to do is hold those toes of her back - so Angela's sole is taut - and dig the paintbrush right into her arch. She lets those soft bristles circle and swish-swish-swish in circular patterns against Dr. Ziegler's sensitive foot...it's enough for our victim to squeal "Oh mein gott!" over and over again.
All in all, it's quite simple - we paint, paint, paint; Mercy laugh, laugh, laughs. The downside - Dr. Ziegler is a wiggler for sure. She can wiggle and giggle all she wants, but she can't stop those Swiss soles from being painted (which did get things a little messy for everyone)! After the session, we asked Mercy if she enjoyed herself and she gave it two thumbs up. Hooray for science!
One of these days, I think we ought to swap our paints to pink to give an entire new meaning to the term "tickled pink." What do you think? Should we keep this concept in our studio?
Anyways, I hope you all had a great New Years! We're always looking forward to your messages!
-- Fantine & Cat
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valleyofthedolls777 · 3 days ago
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・゚゚・。Dolly's sleep paralysis method for shifting
🌟 You heard that right. This is a method I'm sure someone else has thought of already, but I'm putting it into words for you guys.
Now, this method is weird and can even be scary to some. I recommend it to those who have gotten SP before or just aren't afraid of anything. But anyone can do it, really!
This is my favorite method, I've been able to minishift multiple times with it. My little brother also uses it to lucid dream :)
1. How does it work?
It's very simple. Have you ever tried shifting through a lucid dream, only to end up waking up in your cr bed, not being able to move? You might even see or hear things, what some people call "Sleep paralysis demon"
Now, here's the thing: sp demons don't exist.
🗣️-"But Dolly, why do I see, feel and hear things when I'm in sleep paralysis? It freaks me out!"
🐇- Sleep paralysis is a state, during waking up or falling asleep, in which a person is conscious but in a complete state of full-body paralysis. During an episode, the person may hallucinate, which often results in fear.
It happens when you pass between stages of wakefulness and sleep.
(If you're interested in the science behind it)
During REM sleep the body enters a state of temporary paralysis called muscle atonia. This state is likely a mechanism to prevent sleepers from injuring themselves by acting out their dreams. That's why you can't move!
Many experts believe that hallucinations during sleep paralysis occur when people experience the vivid dreams of REM sleep while they are awake.
So, don't worry about this so-called demon. It can't hurt you. Its just your half-asleep brain!
PRO TIP: When you find yourself in SP, don't open your eyes. Just relax, and remind yourself it's just your body being half asleep. If you have scary thoughts, shake them off. Sleep paralysis can even be fun if you learn how harmless it is.
2. And how can you shift with it?
Because SP is a state of half-sleepiness, it's the perfect time to manipulate your consciousness into being somewhere else.
I'll separate this method in two parts:
1.How to get sleep paralysis?
I've always gotten SP when my sleep is disrupted. That is, if I go to sleep at my usual time, like 10pm, and put an alarm to wake up at 2am (3-4 hours after falling asleep is perfect), and stay awake for a few hours, then fall back asleep, my brain will be all like: whaaaat?
My little brother also uses this method to lucid dream, and it always works for him. So, in steps:
Go to sleep when you're comfortable. Put an alarm to wake up 3-4 hours after falling asleep.
Wake up with that alarm, and now chill! Go to the bathroom, watch some youtube videos, read a book, wake yourself up, and wait until you're sleepy again. This usually takes me 2-4 hours awake. It's best to do it in weekends, please don't do this on school nights 😭
Fall back asleep. This might be hard, but just spend some time in the darkness, daydream about your dr, just relax and let your body slowly fall asleep.
You might wake up paralysed. That means it worked! (Scroll down a bit to see what you do at this point)
There are other methods to get sleep paralysis. This is just my personal favourite, but everybody is different!
2. I'm in sleep paralysis! Now what?
Now, just relax. Calm your mind, remind yourself: this is just my brain half-asleep.
Keep your eyes closed. Take your time to affirmate. My personal favourite is "I am shifting" because it's easy to remember.
Try to visualise your desired reality. Imagine you're already there. Because you are.
You might feel really strong symptoms, but I personally find them fun.
If you're very scared, don't worry. You can always wake up from SP. Just try moving a bit, and after a few seconds, you should be back to normal.
🐇
Anyways, tell me if you have any questions. I'm super bad at explaining so I'm sorry if something doesn't make a lot of sense! This is just a method, and everybody is different so what works for me might not work for you! Happy shifting 💗
- Doll
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duck9irbl · 21 hours ago
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1
Everything is numbers. Even nothing has a number. 1 thing can change everything. Perhaps it was a moment or a memory a single action or in action of someone or something. Did or didn't do or said or didn't say. 1 out of multiple what if's.
Just like right now 1 single thought overwhelming the mind. Covered in darkness the only light in the words...
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To who they belong too or who is directed at are for now unknow until we get to peck into the shadows your a monster
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We see 1 man standing what looks to be 1 bed containing 2 people. The people look asleep peaceful unaware. They seem to not know the man but he knows them. I can make this quick and easy
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'The chose should be easy right?' He thinks to himself. But as he looks upset from his slight frown. Yet conflicted onto what to do with the furrow of his brow and scrunched up face. From the 2 bag under his eyes you can at least tell he's tired. Again looking down.
1 sentence yet again appeared in his mind. with all of my heart and every fiber of my very being
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That 1 sentence again surrounded by darkness the only light the words itself. How could numbers change everything?
1 sickness, 1 boy who escaped being the 1 survivor, 1 offer that he took, 2 brothers with 2 different paths he both took. their just kids
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That 1 boy got to grow up despite- because of two brothers. That one boy becoming 1 man staring back at the two brothers. He sits their and watches over the cover of the shadows watching- like he's waiting for something to show up- rather someone. The roles revered 1 man. 2 boys. 1 sword. 1 choice he has to make. That will change everything.
1 lived 1 died. That would stay the same one would live the other would die that much was the same but the question was? Witch brother? YOU
He looks again to what he see's now are not 2 brothers fighting, 2 brothers who picked different paths to different outcomes. But right now- right now he see's 2 brothers sleeping peaceful unaware of the danger that might come. 2 children who don't know any better.
Both kids look at him seemingly awake in shock but maybe thinks is just a bad dream. He doesn't move as to not alert his brother. Their both awake but the other doesn't know that Their just kids who don't know any better
Again that same sentence pops into his mind. Growing more upset, more bitter, more painful stronger and stronger each time. It doesn't stop itself after once no it goes again and again. The same 3 words the 1 sentence repeating again and again. I HATE YOU-! Why?
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Like a mantra, a silent prayer, a plea, a beg- hoping to forget. It gets so loud so overwhelming it consumes your very being. You can't hear anything else, you can't feel anything else you can't see anything else. You can't think of anything else. You just want to get rid of it. For it to get off the face of this reality to go somewhere else- anywhere else. JUST GO AWAY-! I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOUI HATE YOUI HATE YOUI HATE YOUI HATE YOUI HATE YOUI HATE YOUI HATE YOUI HATE YOUI HATE YOUI HATE YOU
I HATE YOU-! it'd be so easy just to kill him
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He snaps out of it with a turn of the children heads the cuddle close to each other as if trying to shield each other from this bad dream- this nightmare.
Then a thought came to mind 3 simple words so similar yet so different. Just like the two brothers. Both words each have 3 in them with the same amount of letters in each, both making 1 sentence. How can something so similar be so different?
He stares at the boys hate oozing off of his in a glare yet he can't bring himself to fully do it. His eyebrows furrowing as his eyes look distant. He looks lost. His eye bags looking darker than before as his decision finally puts the full weight on him. With those 3 distant words yet he wants to remember fondly.
I love you.
I hate you. I love you.
Both words holding so much meaning. He loves 1 of the brothers his farther figure the one who not only gave him a chance in life but a chance to love again. The other brother he hates. The monster who almost made him lose sight of how things truly were.
I love you. I hate you.
I hate you.
This supposed to be the right chose... right?
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His face scrunches up as his eyebrows furrow even closer together. As as he allows himself to close his eyes to calm down to rethink onto what he's going to do. What he was gonna do. What he wanted to do. With the words echoing for now one last time.
I love him.
I hate him.
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The words no longer in pure darkness with light surrounding them. Yet what frames the words is darkness.
I love him. I hate him.
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Time travel swapped AU
Law and his incoming mental breakdown 🙃 He hates Doflamingo with burning passion but little Cora-san clearly loves him. What now?
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lost-romantique · 3 hours ago
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Blitzø's Maturity in Sinsmas
One of my favorite parts about Sinsmas, aside from everything, has to be the amount of maturity Blitzø displays in Sinsmas, or specifically in his conversation with Stolas.
This conversation really goes to show how one of Blitzø's best features is his ability to always say the right thing, when he knows the people in his life truly need it.
He did it with Moxxie and Millie:
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"Look, I'm hard on you, because I know what you're capable of, Mox. You care too much about what everyone thinks except for... me, because, y'know, my opinion is correct, but just... keep doing a good job. 'Kay? You shoot 'n kill good, you escape things easy... you can be strategic and cold-blooded when you need to, aaaand don't expect any more compliments; I'm maxed out."
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"Millie, I have spent too much of my time, energy, and holes into setting this up for us to entertain your bullshit. I brought you into this company for a reason, okay? You're tougher, smarter, and frankly more capable than anyone I've ever met in any ring..."
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"Mind if I steal?" "Today was a lot wasn't it?"
Blitzø starts the conversation with an ice-breaker to lighten the mood because he can tell Stolas is on edge right now.
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"I-I- I know you can't see your kid. And I know you did so fucking much just to save my life-"
There are three things I want to point out:
Blitzø makes it very clear that he knows what Stolas just lost, he knows he can't see his daughter.
Blitzø also states that he understands the huge sacrifice Stolas had to make in order to save his life.
Blitzø knows that what happened is a serious situation, he knows how much Stolas loves his daughter, and he doesn't downplay that loss.
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"It's okay. Saving you was the right thing to do. And you have risked your life for mine in return. You don't need to feel any guilt for my situation, it was my choice. It was all my choice. I caused all of this."
"She'll understand eventually. You just gotta give her time."
Stolas is mourning the loss of his daughter, and is reflecting on the times he's failed her as her father. And I love how Blitzø states that the simple fact that what Octavia needs right now is time to process things, the same way Stolas needs time to process things as well. And I love how Blitzø says that, "...she'll understand eventually," because it's true. Octavia will understand, eventually.
I think one important thing to note is the fact that Blitzø also doesn't undermine Stolas' statement: "It was my choice. It was all my choice."
Because it's true, Stolas did make a choice...
Stolas chose to give Blitzø the book, thus starting their transactional arrangement.
Stolas chose to give up his own life to save Blitzø from execution.
Stolas chose love, and that is not a bad thing.
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"Blitzø, she's gone. For one hundred years, she's gone. And after all that time, she'll never forgive me. I'll be a stranger to her."
"Y'know, my twin sister... She hates me too. For something that I did. And I miss her, every day. We were so fucking close, y'know, we- It's a shitty feeling. But, you just gotta keep trying."
Blitzø, right now, is willingly being vulnerable with Stolas and I think that's beautiful. He encourages Stolas to keep trying to reach out to Octavia, to not give up all hope just yet.
And I love how Blitzø decided to talk about Barbie, and not Fizz, and the reason is simple...
Blitzø can't guarantee a happy ending between Stolas and his daughter, he can't promise any of that. Blitzø states that Octavia will understand him, but he can't promise that Octavia will forgive him.
If Blitzø were to share the fact that he recently rekindled his friendship with Fizz, than that might be giving Stolas a false sense of hope.
And Stolas, right now, doesn't need a success story, he doesn't need, "Hey, I was able to fix my relationship, so you can too". What Stolas needs right now is reassurance that he's not alone, that there is someone out there that understands his pain.
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"Sounds likes, uh... they want me back in there..."
"Go enjoy your Sinsmas, Blitzø. I'm fine, you don't have to stay here with me... What are you doing?"
"Well, I can't fucking dance with you without- come here, getting inventive."
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I love the Full Moon parallel of Blitzø choosing to stay with Stolas instead of going back to the party. Blitzø knows Stolas is not fine at all.
And while Blitzø can't magically make all things better, Blitzø can at least give Stolas a moment of happiness, a chance to momentarily forget all the pain he just went through, a chance to be with him and him alone.
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aishangotome · 16 hours ago
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Nokto Klein: Chapter 1
Chapter 0
♡———♡
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I used to think love was beautiful, sweet, and something more virtuous.
Until I met this "love."
*flashback*
Nokto: With this, Emma is officially my fiancée in name and in fact. Everyone here in Benitoite is the best witness.
Emma: ...Yes, I'm happy.
Nokto: I'm very happy too.
(This...)
(Liar––...!!)
The lying prince, cloaked in the aura of night, is a beast like a sweet trap, captivating his prey with his gaze, gestures, and voice.
I was deceived many times in the palm of his hand---
-
Nokto: Unfortunately, whether you acknowledge it or not, I've been a prince since birth. Since my father is the king.
Emma: It's fine, this is about my feelings.
Emma: To me, Nokto, you're not a prince, or a candidate for the next king, or anything like that. You're just a dangerous, cunning, and frivolous person.
-
We clashed many times like puzzle pieces that wouldn't fit together––
Emma: Don't say "die" so easily...
Nokto: ...
Nokto: It's up to me what I do with myself, isn't it?
Emma: ...
-
We missed each other many times, and yet, after touching his past, the truth hidden behind his lies---
We drowned in our one and only, final love.
Nokto: I have to make sure I catch you properly.
Nokto: Drown in me as much as you can.
Nokto: With the king's favor, I'll spoil you, body and soul.
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Emma: ––Nokto. I love you.
Nokto: Yeah. I love you too, Emma.
We exchanged words of love over and over again, deepening our love for each other.
As if to confirm that the emotions, the happiness we had obtained, were real.
Perhaps we were pretending not to notice.
Both of us––
-
Emma: Nn, Nokto... wait...
Nokto: If I wait, I'll miss the best part, won't I?
Emma: Ahh... nn...
In the quiet of the night when everyone is asleep, Nokto ravishes me in the darkened room.
My mind and body are so melted that I lose track of how much time has passed.
Emma: Please, no more...!
Nokto: I love that lewd look on your face right now, and I want to see more of it. Are you sure you want to stop?
Emma: ...
He looks at me with eyes that seem to yearn for me from the depths of his heart, with a hint of desperation, and my heart starts to race.
(That's not fair... When you look at me like that, I can't refuse.)
My silence becomes the best affirmation, and my beloved narrows his crimson eyes in satisfaction.
Nokto: Then, without further ado, I'll melt you even more thoroughly.
I drown in the pleasure Nokto brings me, wholeheartedly accepting his passion.
Loved deeply, at the end of an irresistible, intense pleasure, he embraces my heated body.
I bury my face in Nokto's chest, feeling his warmth and heartbeat as I try to catch my breath.
(Our sweet moments together are always intense, and he loves me until I can't move...)
(But it wasn't originally like this.)
(It feels like somewhere along the way, the time we spend drowning in each other's love has increased...)
As I try to gather my scattered thoughts, unable to think of anything after being so thoroughly loved---
Nokto: Oh, you still seem to have some energy left.
Nokto, with a mischievous smile, pulls me onto his lap and drives into me deeply once again.
Emma: Ahh, Nokto––!
My body trembles uncontrollably, and I collapse against Nokto. He soothes me by stroking my back.
Emma: Haa... I wasn't expecting a second round...
I take my revenge by nibbling on his neck, and Nokto laughs playfully.
Nokto: Sorry, sorry. I thought you might like being taken by surprise like that.
Nokto trails his slightly parted lips down my neck, softly biting the same spot, sucking as if to leave a mark.
Even that simple act sends another sweet sensation through my core, where the heat of pleasure still lingers.
Emma: Nn, if you leave a mark there, it'll be visible.
Nokto: Don't worry, your new dress has a choker, right?
Nokto: I made sure to leave it in a place where it would be hidden.
(...That's right. I'm not wearing my usual clothes.)
Nokto: From tomorrow, we'll both be in diplomatic attire all the time, so it might take some getting used to for a few days.
Emma: ...Yeah, that's right.
(Tomorrow, we leave the castle.)
--Earlier--
Emma: To Benitoite?
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Nokto: It's a little ways off, though.
A few days ago–– Nokto and I, who had new formal attire and a dress made for diplomatic purposes at his suggestion, were in our room trying on the finished clothes.
With the help of the maids, I put on the new dress, and Nokto was complimenting me when he suddenly told me we were going to Benitoite. I was a little surprised, but it made sense.
Emma: So that's why you suggested we have new formal wear made.
Nokto: Half correct. As a reward, I'll give you a kiss in my new formal attire.
Nokto, with a mischievous smile on his lips, pulls me close and cups my chin.
Emma: H-Hey, the maids are still here, so save that for later...
Nokto: That's right. So, would you mind giving us some privacy for my shy fiancée?
The maids, with gentle smiles, quietly leave the room.
(This is so embarrassing...)
Nokto: Now I can give you as many rewards as I want, right?
His crimson eyes draw closer, and when Nokto's lips softly land on mine, my heart leaps.
Emma: Nn...
I thought he would pull away soon, but the arm around my waist tightens, and his tongue parts my lips, deepening the kiss.
As he invades my mouth, bringing heat with him, my mind starts to go pleasantly numb.
Emma: ––S-Stop!
Nokto: What's wrong? Not satisfied with just a kiss?
Emma: That's not it, it's too much for a reward.
Nokto: Is it? I'm thinking we could continue this in bed. What do you say?
Emma: It would be a disaster if we got the new dress dirty...
Nokto: Oh? You're that worried? Does that mean you're aware of how much this is making you melt?
Nokto's fingers trail down to my lower abdomen, tapping lightly through the fabric of my dress, and he gives me a provocative smile.
Emma: That's not...
Nokto: Your face is bright red. It's a shame, but I think I'll save the fun for tonight.
Nokto: Patience is a spice that makes me love you even more, you know?
Nokto: Well then, shall we get down to business?
Nokto's demeanor shifts to that of His Majesty the King, and I straighten up.
Nokto: A while ago–– while I was away from the castle on official business, the royal family of Obsidian, our ally and former enemy...
Nokto: You know they visited Rhodolite in secret, right?
Nokto: Leon and Chevalier, both leaders of our alliance, met with them as my representatives...
Nokto: And they were suddenly asked to cooperate with Obsidian and Rhodolite to investigate the purpose of the three countries that formed an alliance: Tanzanite, Acroite, and Ruby.
Nokto: To give them an answer, Leon, Chevalier, and Yves went to Obsidian...
Nokto: As a result of the talks, in exchange for sharing advanced technology, including military support,
Nokto: It was officially decided that our country would investigate the purpose of the three countries and share the information.
Nokto: The rest of the princes, including me, are preparing to depart to gather information on the three countries,
Nokto: And to observe the movements of neighboring countries.
Emma: Does that mean Nokto will be in charge of Benitoite?
Nokto: Correct.
Nokto: We've always been allies with Benitoite and have a close relationship, but with the three-country alliance between us, Jade, and Obsidian,
Nokto: And now this three-country alliance between Tanzanite, Acroite, and Ruby––
Nokto: It's diplomatically important to know what they think about these two three-country alliances.
Nokto: That's why as king myself, I decided it was necessary to confirm in person, and I'm the one going to Benitoite.
Emma: I see...
Nokto: So, here's the main topic... Will you come to Benitoite with me?
Emma: You ask me that after preparing such a wonderful dress for me?
Nokto: It's better to have more dresses, and it's not just for this occasion.
Nokto: Well, knowing you, I thought you'd obediently follow me even if I told you after the fact.
Nokto: But I still wanted to hear your opinion properly.
Emma: Hehe, you're unusually well-behaved and sincere.
Nokto: I have been from the beginning.
Emma: I can still clearly remember being made your fake fiancée without any consultation.
Nokto: It's wonderful that you have such vivid memories.
Nokto: But now, you're my real fiancée, right?
My heart aches sweetly as Nokto takes my left hand and reverently kisses the engagement ring on my ring finger.
Sharing so much time with Nokto as the days pass, I find things that have changed from the beginning. Even small things, filling me with an indescribable feeling.
(When we first met, I was always being toyed with, and I was wary of Nokto as a dangerous person.)
(I had never had someone express their true feelings and emotions to me so directly, or stir my heart so much.)
To be worthy of being Nokto's fiancée, the future queen, I've been taking lessons and acquiring knowledge almost every day.
Now, when Nokto is away from the castle, I'm entrusted with some official duties as his representative––
This is because Nokto recognized my abilities, regardless of my position, and it strengthens my resolve to do my best for Nokto and for Rhodolite, increasing my motivation.
(Investigating other countries' reactions to the three-country alliance is also to avoid a crisis in our own country.)
(I've been to Benitoite several times with Nokto...)
(I might be able to be more useful there than in a country I'm visiting for the first time.)
(Above all, if there's something I can do for Nokto, I want to. There's no other option for me but to go.)
Emma: I want to go with you, Nokto.
Nokto: ..............
Nokto: ...I knew you'd say that. Thank you.
(Huh...?)
Even though my answer should have been obvious, Nokto smiled with unexpected joy.
But at the same time, his crimson eyes lowered slightly, casting a shadow.
(Nokto...?)
Nokto: What? Are you staring at me... begging for a kiss?
Emma: That's not––nn!
Nokto: Okay. I'll give you plenty of kisses. I'm in a good mood right now.
––back to present––
(––At that time, I felt like Nokto's expression clouded over for a moment.)
(But Nokto didn't seem particularly different after that, so maybe I was just mistaken...?)
As if to bring me back from my wandering thoughts, Nokto nibbles on my neck again and licks my earlobe.
Emma: Ah...
With the sweet stimulation from his fingertips tracing my waist, my mind is filled with Nokto.
Nokto: You're lost in thought again, leaving me behind. Are you nervous because this is your first time going abroad for an inspection?
Emma: I'm not nervous. It's just...
Nokto: Just?
(I'm concerned about how Nokto was acting back then, but maybe I was mistaken...)
Emma: ...No, maybe I was nervous after all.
Nokto: Then I'll get rid of that nervousness before the inspection.
Nokto: I want you to feel happy at all times. I don't need any emotions that hinder that.
A deep, sweet kiss falls upon me, and I melt into Nokto once again.
(But––even though his touch and words are sweet, why does my heart feel a little uneasy?)
Soon, there was no room left in my mind to ponder the questions in my heart, as I drowned in the love Nokto intensely gave me once again that night.
After the intense night passed and we departed from the castle, Nokto and I were rocked by the carriage for several days––
It was the refreshing sea breeze coming through the window that told me we had entered Benitoite.
-
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(This is... amazing.)
Immediately after arriving at Benitoite Castle and greeting the king, I'm stunned by the sheer luxury of the guest room we're shown to.
Benitoite is a country of sea and trade, dealing with all sorts of countries, so both the city and the castle are dazzling.
(We passed countless works of art on the way to the guest room, but...)
(Even to my untrained eye, the ornaments are too expensive to be kept in a guest room, and the room is too spacious, even for two people––)
(Everything is so grand and luxurious that my jaw drops.)
More than anything, it was the sea spreading out beyond the large window that captured my heart.
As I stand transfixed before the window, Nokto, sitting on the sofa beside me, watches me with a smile playing on his lips.
Nokto: You're glued to the window like a child, you know?
Emma: Yeah. Because it's so beautiful...
Just looking at the sparkling sea, dazzlingly reflecting the sunlight, makes my heart dance.
Nokto: You're as excited as if you're seeing the sea for the first time...
Nokto: Even though you've been to Benitoite several times and have seen the sea each time.
Nokto's chuckle makes me blush with embarrassment.
Nokto: I've been shown to guest rooms several times, but this one has the best view.
Nokto: It pays to speak up.
Emma: What do you mean?
When I ask, Nokto immediately takes my hand and gently pulls me closer.
Nokto: Actually, I wrote it in the letter I sent to Benitoite when we announced our visit this time.
Nokto: That my fiancée is looking forward to seeing the sea again.
Emma: Does that mean...?
Nokto: As a country with flourishing trade, they have many visitors from other countries, and their service is more attentive than any other country.
Nokto: That's probably why we were shown to this guest room with a nice view.
(The purpose of this visit is inspection, so I didn't tell Nokto, but...)
(I was really looking forward to seeing the sea again.)
Emma: I guess I can't keep secrets from you, Nokto.
Nokto: Did you think I was only uncovering your body every night?
Nokto smiles sweetly, his words laced with jest.
(I see, maybe it wasn't just to make me happy...)
(Maybe he also did it so I wouldn't get too stressed about the inspection.)
My heart flutters uncontrollably at Nokto's kindness and consideration.
Emma: Thank you, Nokto. I'm so happy.
Nokto: I'm glad. But, just words?
His cool fingertips trail teasingly up my back, and a different kind of sweetness than excitement starts to make my heart race.
(But it's true that words alone aren't enough to express my gratitude...)
With all my heart, I initiate a kiss, simply touching Nokto.
Nokto: Wait, this isn't the end, is it?
Emma: Nn, Nokto...!
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His fingertips trail more heatedly up my back, slipping beneath the fabric of my dress.
My body, remade night after night by Nokto, easily heats up, and like a butterfly drawn to a flower, I try to meet his lips once more, when––
Suddenly, the door bursts open with a tremendous bang, as if it had been kicked in.
.
.
.
Chapter 2
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smileybasics · 9 hours ago
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Defending @lil-liaa
I usually don’t post in this blog cause i have other ones but i don’t think this is being fair, me and Lia have been moots for a year and I have seen all her work over the years, I don't know a more creative person than her and I have been with her while she makes her moodboards by call and it is simply impressive the hours she invests in doing it, today I She wrote so devastated and we made a call talking, she has worked on this for so long, I remember how excited she was when she reached 1k, what I mean is that her community and her blog are very important to her, these people are accusing her because three Posts are similar to those of other blogs and that seems stupid to me since you have not even seen her other posts to know if she really makes an effort or not, Lia has made collages, dividers, banners, and a lot of other things, to she is really passionate about digital art and the only time she left her blog was because of the loss of a loved one and the truth is I don't care how many people are going to believe me after this post I just want them to leave her alone, here I am attaching some evidence...
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This doesn’t even have so much in common just a three pics, in case you don’t know how moodboards are made, 2 or more colors are taken as a base and the images that best match the tones are searched on Pinterest, not only what she "copied" are just two photos but she also made a divider and a collage
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Here’s just pinterest pics (proofs that are from pinterest in keep reading) and again i saw a lot of rude comments towards her that so unfair and hurt feelings cause considering how long Lia has been on her blog it's like invalidating all her hard work!!
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In this post she even clarify that the divider isn’t made by her but the collage it is, also it’s just 2 pics that are similar!
This pictures are from pinterest, everyone can use it!
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People bullying her
This doesn't just happen on the internet, but in real life, one of Lia's moots simply republished the post where they accused her of copying, she asked him/her why he/her did it so quickly, If they were supposed to be moots, if someone betrays you so quickly without questioning anything, they were never your friend and instead of responding privately she/him made a post just to make her/him moots laugh and the comments are gross, my god it's disgusting, this is directly bullying, if you are a thinking person and if you have ever had some kind of link you should try to talk something privately instead of calling the crazy girl and tagging all your moots so they can laugh, the worst thing is that you can tell that this girl only wants interaction because when she and Lia were chatting she threatened Lia with blocking her but then when Lia blocked her she made another post like "she blocked me" it's like, besides being a treacherous rat you can't have the decency to talk to her about it, Lia has been so nice to everyone but after all, this is where you can see who the ones who truly supported her are, and not the fake friends.
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I'm not going to censor his/her username, he deserves it, tumblr is as much as real life, the importance of moots is like friends in real life, because if you want you can just harass someone and all your friends will laugh without question anything.
Also, Lia has a tutorial of a lot of things that she made! If she knows how to do it, why would she steal or copy from other blogs?
She has tutorials of gifs, texts, banners, etc, if she really stole and copy, why she knows how to do it by herself?, and if she knows how to do it by herself she doesn’t even need to stole!
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LIKE SHE DIDN’T CARE?! Sorry but this is so wrong, i can tell that, SHE CARES, all these people who are making posts mocking her and calling her crazy because according to them she "copied" three measly posts, when if I were in her place and all my years of work were at stake I would also act like a crazy person because it's worth it, here it is demonstrated clearly her hypocrisy, if Lia wants to defend all her hard work or defend herself from bullying by blocking you she is crazy but if she makes a post explaining everything it seems like she doesn't care, this frustrates me so much
Here more evidence of Lia’s drafts
youtube
Just a few of her drafts
And last but not least I want to give credit to Lia's great work these years, so you can see that there is a true artist behind all this nonsense controversy, here are some of her moodboards, my personal favorites that I can't imagine how much time it would have taken
Extra: “Lia we know it’s you” Don’t acuse me of being Lia, i’m just a real friend
Evidence: Contact of Lia and me
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Hi guys, it's come to my attention that someone in the moodboard community known as lil-liaa has been copying / taking heavy "inspo" from other creators like @y-unjins and @iluvrei view more for more info + evidence + my opinions on the whole situation
before i start, i'm not trying to run lil-liaa off the platform nor am i trying to stur up drama, this is just to bring light to the situation as not many people know and many people (including myself) defended her when this first happened, i also want liia to realize that what she's doing isn't right and that she shouldn't just brush off "accusations" like these when there is evidence.
proofs
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you can see the similarities as lil-liaa used 3 of the exact same pics as iluvrei's including one edited by the original creator without adding credits to the post.
2nd
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here you can instantly tell that the moodboard was copied (lil-liaas on the right being an exact replica of y-unjins), only changing 2 pics excluding the idol change and
3rd / last
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lastly, you can see how one lia used the exact same divider (+ didnt give creds), two she uses the same images not only in the moodboard but also in her gif (same pics from y-unjins moodboard including the png)
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now, lil-liaa was sent multiple anonymous ask from last year and one recently accusing her of stealing moodboards, although a lot of people defended her last year including me due to the ask having no sorts of proof of moodboards being stolen and no one else speaking on it but now the recent ask she has received included proof and her response to it was very (in my opinion) rude and just sounded like she didn't care.
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in my opinion, i don't believe this was just a draft she had premade and i don't believe she somehow got the same exact photos from y-unjins moodboard recommended, i believe since this isnt the first accusation and now there's proof of this i believe she has been copying moodboards since last year when she was accused. i don't believe lil-liaa cares about this, the fact she's stealing from other creators and when she gets called out for it she pushes it off with the same excuses
tags
@miujo @rkkuri @lvioung @ciestial @aeraras @sugarish @gyareii @i-kyujin @daddldee @i-mmaculatus @haerinism @chaeryeos @bloomqi @h-yeoni @p-oisn @bitchey @yeritos @yonkiibums @y-vna @y-urios @fairytopea @shuaver @yeoniis
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isabelawritesthings · 13 hours ago
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The last dance
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Pairing: Katarina x F!reader
Synopsis: You are one of the guests at the Black Rose Ball, and your dance partner catches your eye.
Word count: 823
Warnings: Mentions of war and death, mentions of relationship breakups.
An: I know it's just a cinematic, but my heart can't stand seeing beautiful women in fiction and not writing about them 😭 I tried to make it longer but my creative block isn't helping. (In case you're confused and only know Arcane, Garen is her romantic interest in the lore of League of Legends and Jericho Swain is the one who rules Noxus, Demacia and Ionia are regions that are at war with Noxus.)
What happened in Piltover was surprising for all of Runeterra. A simple inventor becoming a kind of God? Even more so in the city of progress? Simply surprising.
Your parents were longtime members of the Black Rose, and with Mel Medarda's return, the organization needed a distraction. And just like in the times when Noxus was a monarchy ruled by an emperor, why not have a ball?
"You look beautiful.” Your mother said to you. “Do we really have to go to this ball? Are we really going to pretend that Ambessa's daughter isn't coming back to finish us all off?" Your mother looked surprised. "You better not say things like that at the ball.” Your father enters the room. "We're going to be late like this, ladies."
It was a masquerade ball, as the Black Rose always liked anonymity, but you didn't care, you wouldn't be wearing a mask that night, you thought the masks were too ugly to wear.
“Honey, do you mind if me and your father go say hi to some friends?" Your mother asked. "No, I think I'll just dance a little." You walk out onto the dance floor, and dance with the first person you see, not caring who it is under that mask. “You dance very well," said the masked person, it was a female voice. "Thank you... Are you part of the Black Rose, or are you just one of those nobles they invited?" The person behind the mask laughed. "You tell me, you're not wearing a mask after all.”
“Those are pretty ugly." You and your dance partner change positions. "I prefer you like this without the mask, you're very pretty.” You gave a small laugh. "You must be the one who's beautiful, redheads usually are." The woman looked you in the eyes. "Maybe we could talk in a more private place." You smiled. "I'd love to." The two of you walked to the garden.
In the garden, the mysterious woman takes off her mask, you weren't wrong, she was indeed beautiful. "Nice to meet you, Katarina." you smiled. "Y/N." Katarina sits on the garden bench. "Your parents are members of the Black Rose, aren't they?” You sit down next to her. "Yes, long before I was born." She gives a shy laugh. "They're all liars and murderers... You don't look like one of them.”
“And I'm not, it's just my parents who have these crazy ideologies of theirs, if I could, I'd be in Demacia or Ionia right now, but I would rule out going to Ionia, there's a very anti-Noxian sentiment there thanks to the war.” Katarina looks at the floor. "Demacia... That name brings back memories." You looked curious. "Are you from there?" Katarina looks at you. "No, I was born right here... It's just that it was there that I lived the best moment of my life, because I found love." You looked even more curious.
“Garen, his name is Garen, he was in the Demacian army, it could never work since we are also at war with Demacia, he would probably be executed for treason if anyone found out.” She looked sad. "Jericho Swain is still going to destroy this country with those stupid wars!" She looked at you again. "I still love him, but it could never work." You changed the subject. "So, what are you doing here? You don't look like a member of the Black Rose." Her eyes looked at you intently. "Let's just say I came to finish something." You thought it was strange that she was staring at you like that.
“You're taking too much of a risk by meeting me in a secluded location, if I were a spy you'd be dead by now." You looked even more surprised. "I... I... It's just that I found you quite peculiar…” She stopped staring at you. "Peculiar? I've heard better compliments... You look like you're also trying to forget a love." She figured it out pretty quickly. "I fell in love with a girl recently, she was in the army, she ended up dying in Ionia." Katarina's face remained still. "I'm sorry." You looked at her. "Don't be sorry, this fate was already predictable.”
You lost track of how much time you spent talking to Katarina on that bench, the more you found out about her, the more impressed you were, like how she had been trained by generals from all over the country.
“I think you need to go now, your parents must be worried." She stood up. "Thanks for the evening, I needed a little chat before I do what I came to do." You stood up too. "You keep mentioning this duty you have to do tonight but you never say what it is." She looks at you. "Let's just say it involves shocking some people at this ball."
She kisses you on the cheek before she leaves, you blush slightly.
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dragqueenstarscream · 1 day ago
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How about 2, 4, 5, 9, 11, 15, 16 and 19 for armada megs please 👉👈
Also sorry if this is too many-
oh no, you don't have to apologize! i love answering asks! also, armada megs! he's a new one for me, but i'll try my best! (i can't blame you for asking for him. who can resist the voice of david kaye?)
2 - multiple orgasms/orgasm denial. definitely. not for himself, but for you. he hates being denied what he so rightfully deserves, but when it comes to you, he can be kinda mean, either refusing to let you come or making you come so many times that you start shaking. it really depends on his mood.
he also has a thing for cockwarming + exhibitionism together. it's not uncommon for cyclonus or demolisher to go looking for megatron only to see him on his throne, with you seated on his spike but being unable to move. he likes seeing the looks on their faces and the blush that spreads across your cheeks.
4 - dom. all the way. he doesn't submit to anyone, and that includes to you. he tried subbing once and hated it.
5 - without a doubt. it's more rare that he doesn't kiss with tongue, actually. he likes feeling just how small your mouth is against his, as odd as that sounds.
9 - he doesn't. why should he when he's got you right there? he doesn't need to use his imagination to get off when he has the real deal right there with him.
11 - megatron's a little weird with aftercare. he's not a fan of receiving it himself because... he's megatron. he can handle anything. he doesn't need to recover from something as simple as interfacing.
however, he is very aware that it takes more out of you, so he's willing to put a lot of effort into aftercare for you. he can't have his favorite little toy getting too tired on him, now can he?
15 - he's loud, but not in a screaming way. he's definitely a dirty talker, and he's absolutely a growler. he loves dirty talking right into your ear, figuring out what makes you squirm and whine, but he'll eventually start growling wordlessly as he gets closer to his own overload.
16 - so you know those things on the sides of his head? the sawtooth horns that look like stag beetle jaws? play with those. it'll have him purring like a giant kitty.
19 - he himself won't tolerate the idea of being tied up. he won't do it. you, however... remember when i said he can be mean during sex? double that if he decides to tie you up. he gets cruel, tormenting you by not letting you come and teasing you with the idea that he might just leave you there and let the other decepticons have their ways with you.
we both know he won't. he doesn't share. but that doesn't mean the idea of seeing you completely fucked out doesn't turn him on like crazy.
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the-cat-and-the-birdie · 1 year ago
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I'm afraid to draw Miguel cause he's so - 😐
he's a manwhore. At least Hobie has the decency to WEAR CLOTHES
But guess what. My Spider-sona Moche is 4'11 so I can make it height accurate and just draw him like this
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I might as well make it a running joke and never try to draw him at all not even once and
only draw pictures of Moche going like this with his dialogue coming from above
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Problem solved
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missmvrder · 1 day ago
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The idea that she could want to get rid of him was ridiculous but Alara decided to play his game instead of denying any of it. "You're right, one dinner and already, I can't stand you," she teased. The idea that Roman would not do as many supply runs once winter came eased into her. "I always worry when you're gone," she added softly. It would feel good to have him around, to not spent so much time fearing something might have happened to him. Not knowing if he would come back or not. This place was as close to old life they could have, she was certain of it and she knew she was getting too comfortable but she couldn't fight it, even less now, full and warm, the wine getting to her head. Her cheeks were rosé from it all and her eyes sparkling. It was just too easy, in that moment, to forget the way the world was now and it was exactly what she wanted, to stop worrying for a night, to just enjoy the fact that they were here.
Alara's heart fluttered when Roman sat close to her. It wasn't the first time they were near but it was one of the first one when there was nothing but contentment in her, nothing to worry about, no fear present in her mind and body. "I think I might actually love the sight of you being still, at least as long as it isn't driving you mad," she said with a laugh. Days and nights like this one were in the cards for the winter and judging by the success it had been, she had no doubts it would be interesting. Of course, today Roman had things to do but Alara knew she would find things for him to fix if needed, even if she had to break some of them herself, not that she'd tell him that. "I don't see a problem with that. This couch is suddenly very comfortable, don't you think?" It had been musty when they got here but it mostly needed a good cleaning and to be aired out. "We should invite him weekly, or something like that. Keep good relationships between neighbours."
As if things could be that simple, good meals and laughters that stretched long into the night. Her cheeks burned as he called her sweetheart, even if it wasn't the first time Roman did such a thing. To her slightly drunken mind and heart, it sounded like there was something more behind the words. Alara leaned into the couch, her head titling, mirroring Roman. Her legs curled beneath her and she released a deep sigh of happiness. "This feels good," she finally said as she looked deep into Roman's eyes. If she wasn't careful, she would let the wine get even more to her head and might do something she'll regret, like leaning in to kiss the man. Instead she closed her eyes and let her head rest on his shoulder, her heart beating frantically.
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there might've been an itch to get things taken care of now - but it was one the man ignored when he'd spoken - knowing the smile that she graced him with would be far more satisfying of a reward. "just you wait. cold this year'll undoubtedly slow me down. now that we have someplace safe to hunker down. warmth, food. you'll start to think you're living with a slug. want nothing more than to get rid of me. might even encourage those trips i make outside the wall for supplies," he teases.
an understanding nod leaves the man before he's crossing the space to sit beside her. a great sigh escapes him - entirely content as the man leans back and tilts his head to look over at her. "better i ease you into the sight of me sitting still, otherwise you might go into shock this winter." they both know he won't actually be as still as he claims, likely finding ways to putter around their little home, but it's a nice thought. "full bellies, the buzz of alcohol and a warm fire? it's just asking for us to fall asleep on the couch if we aren't careful." in instances like this, it was easy to forget the world wasn't what is used to be. this? it all felt horribly normal, and once again roman found himself grateful they'd been taken in by john. "best damn meal i've had in a long time, sweetheart. would've questioned john's sanity if he hadn't enjoyed the meal or the company."
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peridots-pixiwolf · 2 years ago
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[Start ID. A drawing of two scavengers from Rain World, one labelled Sanic and the other one Shrek. Sanic's fur is light brown, with darker extremities, a messy row of pale green spines down its back, and bright blue eyes. They sit contentedly, staring at the screen, with a couple grenades by its feet. Shrek has pale fur, a green head, hands, and feet, and brown eyes. It's facing to the right, with their arms splayed out and an explosive spear on their back. Beside each scavenger are a few woefully-compressed screencaps of their in-game appearance. End ID]
An ode to these silly beasts, who accompanied me on my second visits to Industrial and Chimney
#peridots-art#rain world#scavenger rain world#...usually only draw set characters of games and not. creatures. so that's new for me#absolutely love specbioing these guys though!! buggifying them scratches the right itch in my brain especially when they could reasonably#be buggy in canon!!#bugs#clarification on the ''shrek is maybe two guys'' thing ahead. first we'll argue for One Guy#1. both found in the same region at the same time 2. remarkably similar coloring and mannerisms (seemed to be the pack leader)#and now evidence supporting the two different guys theory:#1. travelled with a different pack of scavengers the second time vs when i found it 2. second time had slightly duller colors and noticably#longer horns (without the little gradient at the end)#so now you see why i didn't notice anything wrong until after reviewing the screenshots. BUT!!! secret third option!!!#the first one with the short horns was found first when i was using the entrance-to-industrial shelter#and the one i mostly relied on for reference was near the higher shelter. shrek numero dos. the canon shrek.#but i have a screenshot of shrek 1 in the place shrek 2 was found. hanging out with one of shrek 2's pack members no less.#ok now that that's ''settled''. don't let this all distract you from the fact that the simple act of SWITCHING TO THE SHADING LAYER#got me out of a four-month-long mental rut. i can't say that it was depression nor that i know anything about depression in the first place#but even if it wasn't very serious? it Sucked. even if it was just a nagging thought at the back of my mind my life was duller somehow#i started to feel a little unmotivated. lonely. anxious. like the days blend together. the things i liked weren't bringing as much joy#and all of that got worse recently. the main reason i haven't posted any art for like a month? art stopped being fun.#which is a TERRIBLE thing for someone like me who loves to draw so so much. so when everything that's been building up over the past months#just vanished completely? without warning? you better believe i teared up over a doodle of a scavenger for making me feel right again.#i'm overjoyed to be free of it. i'm hopeful again! i love myself again! i can fall in love with the world all over again!!!#i have no idea how this happened. but i have motivation and determination and i feel like i can change my life for the better now. if i try#maybe this was my normal but it's the striking opposite of what I've been feeling--i'm finally proud of my accomplishments! and of myself!!#which was something i couldn't say in earnest even before december.#and reader? i call you tag-wanderer for i have no way of knowing who you are. maybe a treasured mutual or maybe a stranger. but i love you.#and i hope you make your way out.#peridots-described
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barbatos-sama · 12 days ago
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this is an ask to the creator of the show this is so ominous. raggattha npc theory real maybe??
#i'm trying to think of what this could mean#was he wrong and he actually Can control minds? is it something to do with raggy specifically?#her being an npc would make the line 'she'd rather hang out with an npc with us 🙄' very ironic lol#i feel like i rly want at least at One of these fuckers to be an npc without knowing it#especially since caine mentioned the possibility that he Could mix playable characters and npcs up if he didn't keep them segregated#i really do wanna know what the mystery of this place is#i think there's only like. i can't remember if it was 8 or 10 episodes of this bitch? and we're on 4 right now#it feels like such little time to figure out what's going on so honestly maybe it's more simple than it seems#maybe None of them are real lmao#maybe only one of them is#also i really hope we get to see someone abstract#i don't really care who i just wanna see someone abstract lol#god what if it was jaxx that would be really unexpected and cool#like i'm not just saying that because i don't like him i think it would just be a really good way to subvert expectations#like he's set up as this really mysterious character and a lot of theories are spawned as to why he's special and important#and how he must have a larger role in the story#only for him to abstract and you realize he wasn't actually all that important he was just someone who had to go to extreme lengths#not to abstract but he finally hit his breaking point#i doubt that'll actually happen but it would be really good in my humble onion#anyway raaaaaaa i want more episodes
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bredforloyalty · 3 months ago
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i had a good day i like having things to do but unfortunately i have just remembered i am insane</3
#currently. in this moment#currently i can't stand the enorrrrmous gap between what i recognize as good writing + how committed i am to improving the skill#(not very) (i am not committed i have never committed or honed any skill as it's a very vulnerable position to put yourself in)#(or let me rephrase that i feel unusually insecure and existentially threatened when i have to start from zero and make mistakes)#(which is basically all of life. so it's abnormal i know it is. but it's where i am right now and i'm not climbing out of this one anytime#soon)#so listen i didn't sign up for this. i don't even want this really and i double triple quadruple don't want rules and advice and#indirect criticism. the latter no one at all on planet earth can avoid bc every sentiment and opinion expressed can reflect on you in a way#where was i what gap. right so i am not actually disciplined or motivated to learn/discover/get better at creating something#so that's the gap‚ i know what i should be trying to do or what i should want or what i should strive for. i know why. i see i hear#i understand#it's just that‚ i am aware that psychologically that is not in my best interest#like long-term it is but in actuality it isn't. d'you know what i mean?#but i have my compulsions. and those don't care they operate on a different level#so there is a bit of an opposition. so what happens‚ and this is the important part‚ what happens is i do it and i feel bad.#unless i close my eyes and ears. and i feel bad right now#and i'm bummed#and then i question everything and wonder why i'm alive#and i said insane because if i didn't have compulsions and obsessions? if i lived a real tactile present life. day to day and only cared#about how i can improve my life and the lives of others. and how i can become useful#directly. if i was someone who could access that. then i wouldn't have this problem#i know this sounds like “if i was different i would be different which would be good”. and that is exactly what i'm saying yeah#so this is my journal entry for today. i felt good when i was doing something simple for 9 hours and then i 🧠made myself feel bad#kata.txt#writing tag
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lymtw · 7 months ago
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A Perfect Night For Wine
Toji invites you over with a simple text of:
You busy tonight, doll?
To which you respond with:
I don't think so... Not that I know of. Why?
He laughs through his nose when he reads your message. Even the way you text him has your timidness imbued into it. It's precious.
Come spend the night at my place. You told me you're off tomorrow, right?
I am, but are you sure? Driving home is not a problem for me. I can hang out and go home after.
You're staying. I wanna try something with you and it requires you to stay the night. You can't go home.
Oh okay! I'll be there in 10.
Drive safe.
Toji likes that you're very precise about the time you'll be arriving somewhere, and if you're ever late when it comes to spending time with him, you apologize profusely, nonstop. You won't stop blubbering about why you're late and how sorry you are for making him wait, even after Toji's expressed that he's more than understanding. He's the king of showing up late to plans, so he can't be a hypocrite and scold you when you don't do it often at all.
You're so sorry, though, and you don't shut up about it until he makes you shut up with a kiss. You're helpless, and you can't for the life of you figure out where to put your hands when you're so focused on the grip he had on your waist to pull you up against him.
He releases your lips, cracking a grin at the look of wonder on your face. He can't deny the pride that swells in his chest at his ability to disarm you and prevent you from having a total meltdown over a three minute delay.
Toji has gotten so much better at handling situations like these with you. It's only fair for him to gain satisfaction out of making you feel better. After all, you are a first for him. You're emotionally fragile, you're a nervous wreck, and your voice competes with the wind just to be heard. Toji doesn't set aside the fact that you're also beautiful, warmhearted, and you try for him. He sees your attempts to be affectionate. You'll slowly reach your hand out to hold his and then bail the second he catches you. He ends up having to interlock his fingers with yours because your embarrassment doesn't allow you to try again. He still appreciates that you leave your comfort zone for him and allow him to guide you towards new experiences.
"Stop with the guilty feelings, ma. We have all night and all day tomorrow. What's a couple minutes to ensure you get to me in one piece?" He says, comforting your droopy self. You look like a sad, abandoned puppy, now sporting rosy cheeks from his surprising gesture.
"Okay," you say, feeling a little more at ease. "What did you have in mind for tonight?"
"Follow me," he says, leading you through his living room to his kitchen. He pulls out a stool for you and points at it. "Sit." You want to laugh at the way he says it like he's teaching commands to a dog, but you know he doesn't mean it that way, so you obediently sit down like one anyway.
"Have you eaten anything?" He asks, silently hoping you have because he doesn't have anything to make you dinner. He would have to order in or pick something up.
"I ate a couple hours ago. Still pretty full," you respond, watching him reach up for something in his cabinets. There's now a tall glass bottle with a red label and matching cap sitting on the counter.
"How 'bout it?" He says, a large hand wrapped around the neck of the bottle. "We could go to the couch and watch a movie or something."
He's never seen you under the influence of anything, but based on your reaction, maybe he'll get a show tonight. He's always wanted to know what you would be like if you were more extroverted and outspoken. There's nothing wrong with the way you are, but if things keep going the way they're going between you and Toji, he's bound to meet your chatty alter ego at some point in the future. What better way to have this experience than in a secure place with someone who can handle their alcohol and take care of you if it turns out that you can't.
"Okay, sure." You giggle, excitedly.
You're a lightweight. Even the fruitiest, sweetest alcoholic beverage will quickly take a toll on you while you're sipping on it. Wine is a step up, so you'll have to try your best to keep it together for the sake of not looking sloppy in front of Toji.
Toji brings down two glasses, and pours out the deep red liquid into them. One for you, one for him. He hands the glass to you, and nods at your quiet "thank you".
Toji watches as you immediately take a sip. He sees the way your nose scrunches at what you consider to be a funny taste, but the second you put the glass down, you smile like nothing. You don't like it at all. You hate the bitterness, and the fact that it's made with fermented grapes lives in the back of your head.
"How is it?" He asks, holding back a chuckle. You're too sweet for your own good, pretending to enjoy this for him.
"I like it," you say, pressing your lips together.
"Yeah? I think it's kinda gross. Guess I was expecting more from a fancy ass bottle, but brands are gonna brand, huh?"
You giggle, almost involuntarily. You're one gulp in, and already you're starting to feel the effects.
One of your worst habits includes chugging drinks that don't taste good, just so you can get them over with. You even do this when your drink is messed up at coffee shop. You're too nice to ask the barista to remake it, so you suck it up and drink the incorrect beverage solely for the caffeine you hope it has in it. This time is no different. You hate the taste of alcohol. You don't do plain shots, you can't stand hard ciders, and wine is no exception, but you're doing this for Toji. He cracked open the bottle to share with you, so you're going to drink every ounce of the liquid in the glass, whether you like the taste or not.
You bring the glass to your lips again, taking a much larger sip. The glass is a little less than halfway now, and your eyelids are starting to feel a little heavy. Not in a sleepy manner, but you can't seem to hold your eyes open as wide anymore.
You exhale through your nose, shut your eyes, and then blink them back open to take note of your altered state.
"That was a lot. How are you feeling?" Toji asks, noticing a shift in your demeanor. You seem a little more sluggish now. You turn your attention to him, your eyes rolling when they turn to meet his.
"I'm good, how are you?" You ask, like it was the start of a conversation rather than an ongoing one. Your eyes almost shut completely when you smile at him.
"You're tipsy already, aren't you?" He asks, with a grin on his face.
"Pshh, what? No, i'm not," you say, contradicting yourself with a giggle. "Answer the question, baby. How are you?"
"Fine," he responds, lingering on the pet name. You've got loose lips, now. In any other circumstance, you would address him by his name. Most of the time Toji is the one giving you pet names, for the sake of flustering you. He loves the way you look at him when he calls you doll or sweetheart, somewhat shocked every time the words leave his mouth.
"Yeah? That's good." You pick up the glass one more time, sighing before you mutter, "'scuse me. Gotta finish this."
With that last sip, the glass was now empty. Even Toji thinks you drank that too fast, but he still has the courtesy to ask you if you want more.
"Mhm, I'll have a little bit more. Just a tiny bit." Toji pours as much as he did the first time, chuckling when you nod in approval of the quantity. "That's perfect. Absolutely, perfect. You're a genius, my love." You flash him a smile before starting on the next glass.
Toji was considering having another glass, but that was before you called him "my love" in a tone so warm that he felt like he just had a bowl of hot soup that was now settling in his stomach. That was before you smiled at him in such a free spirited manner. It was too late for him to see you in this state while completely sober, but he sure as hell wouldn't be adding anymore alcohol to his system. He can't miss something like this, so instead he leans forward on the counter, and intently watches your every move.
"I got something on my face?" You ask, dragging your sleeves all over your face. You examine your sleeves and they're clean. "You liar. You're looking at me like that for nothing." You squint at him, a slight scrunch in your nose to define your defensiveness.
Toji laughs, his focus now on the small pinch in your brows. "Don't go picking fights over nothing. It's not a crime to look at my pretty baby."
Your faux tough exterior immediately crumbles, the irked expression on your face dropping to the ground, at the sugary words he uses on you. Your face feels very warm, and now there's an indefinite blush on it. You can't stop smiling at the look on Toji's face. He's so focused that he's gone speechless, and you eventually break into a laughing fit because of it.
"Hey... i'm usually the quiet one. Why aren't you talking, pretty boy? Need me to shut up?"
The pet name has Toji glancing at your glass, noticing that it was full for less than five minutes. This was new— you being flirtatious towards him. He didn't have any complaints about it whatsoever.
Once again, the quantity of the wine in your glass was below the halfway mark. "Nah, baby. Talk to me. You must really like the wine, huh?"
"Mmm..." you lean forward towards him, with your elbow on the counter and your chin in your palm. "What makes you say that?"
He actually snickers this time, earning a sly grin from you. "You're chugging it like it's water. It's either you love it or it tastes like ass and you're dying to spit it out."
You pick up the glass again, one last time. "Let's find out if I like it," you say as if you're not on your second serving. You let the liquid hit your tongue, and you are instantly repulsed by the flavor. The glass is tilted all the way up, signaling that you've finished two cups of wine in less than fifteen minutes. Your cheeks are filled with the drink, blown up like a puffer fish, which makes Toji smile softly with anticipation for your reaction. Your tongue stays on the roof of your mouth, keeping the wine in your cheeks separate, to give you a break for a few seconds. You release the bubbles of your cheeks and your mouth is flooded with the bittersweet liquid. You swallow the burgundy mouthful and smile with your lips pressed together once it's all gone. The mouth drying effect of wine is your least favorite thing about it.
"So?" Toji prompts.
"It's-" you gag, clasping a hand over your mouth with wide, slightly teary eyes.
Toji's chest and shoulders shake as he contains his laughter, his lips pressed together tightly to stifle the smile threatening to show itself, but his eyes tell you everything.
"Wooo, sorry about that," you say, chuckling through the embarrassment. "It's good," you repeat, still muffled by your palm.
"Yeah? Want more?" Toji asks, holding up the bottle with a teasing grin on his face.
You almost gag again but manage to control yourself. "No, thank you. Any more and I'll doze off, and we both know that's not what i'm here for." There was a hint of sultriness in your tone, something Toji was not sufficiently familiar with. It was a completely welcome shift from your normally tentative way of speaking to him.
"I know why you're here, but I wanna know what you think you're here for."
You stand from your stool and lean more of your body onto the counter. Your hand reaches for his, and for the first time, you don't pull back before making contact with his skin. "To love on you, of course," you say, with those pretty rosy cheeks. Your eyes remained glossy and your nose was still red from trying not to bring the wine back up earlier, but Toji thought you looked so cute.
"Is that right?" His thumb brushes over your knuckles, feeling the softness against his rough fingertip.
"Let's go watch that movie you were talking about and you'll see what I mean."
Toji was loving this. Your confidence, your lack of holding back anything you had to say, it was truly baffling how you could be someone else entirely with just a couple glasses of wine.
You keep his hand in yours, and as if it were your house, you say, "come on," and drag him along to the living room.
This time you say "sit" and point at the couch. This time he's the obedient dog and does as you say, sitting on the exact cushion you were pointing at with a smirk on his face. He moves the couch pillow aside to make room for you, but you had another seat in mind. You take two steps towards him before slowly dropping yourself into his lap, straddling him.
"I see you're finally taking your seat on the throne, hm?" He grins, resting his hands on your waist. This is the closest Toji's been allowed to watch you giggle without you burying your face into his neck and it's a trip. He can see the details of the creases around your eyes and the lift in your cheeks as you smile. He feels fuzzy, and he didn't even finish his glass of wine, so he knows it's not that.
"Stop making me laugh and pick a movie, will you? I'm here for that, too."
He picks up the remote for the TV and turns it on. "How are you gonna watch the movie while facing me?"
"Actually,.. can I tell you a secret, baby?" You ask, wrapping your arms around his neck. Your fingers play with the hair that reaches towards the nape of his neck, combing through it gently.
"What's that, princess?" Toji asks, vert eyes flitting between your eyes and that sweet smile of yours.
"I don't wanna watch a movie. I... wanna look at you... and that's it." Your nails gently scratch the back of his head, eliciting a tingly sensation that makes chills run down his spine.
"That's cool, too," Toji says, turning the TV off again, not caring that it was on for less than a minute before you changed your mind. He sighs, adjusting his position beneath you. Your thighs are secured around his hips, your knees touching the backrest of the couch.
"You're so handsome, my baby. God, look at those eyes," you whisper in awe, before giggling and bringing your hands to his face. You trace the bags under his eyes with your thumbs while admiring the haunting shade of green that scopes on you. Toji's hand comes up to loosely wrap around your wrist. He's not there to stop you, he just wants to move along with you as you observe his face.
"I know I don't say this to you enough, but I find you..." you sigh, blinking slowly, "enchanting..." You lean in and kiss the left corner of his lips—his right, and feel the smooth, tattered skin beneath your warm lips. "and I love you," you mumble into the cicatrix. "So fucking much, baby. And i'm sorry that you'll never know exactly how much because you aren't me." You're looking at him with so much adoration and touching him with a delicacy that can't be put into words. It's a deadly combination, one that has Toji in a chokehold and forces him to soften up even more for you.
He tightens the hold he has on your waist, pulling you closer until your stomach is pressed to his, as a result. You being so affectionate towards him is making him feel really good, and you have no idea because you're too focused on appreciating him. He's subconsciously leaning into your touch, his softened gaze meeting your lovestruck one.
"Fuck. I love you, too, princess," he murmurs, squeezing your wrist in his hand. He pulls your hand down to his chest. "Want you to aim for my lips, this time."
"Okay," you say, smiling before closing the distance between your lips and Toji's. He can still taste the remnants of the wine you inhaled minutes ago, but it tastes much better and a lot sweeter on you. Toji can hear your high pitched little hums as you kiss him, happiness pouring into your kisses. You're trying so hard not to laugh in his face, and trying is the best you can do, right now. You never were good at hiding your smile from Toji. He can't see it, but he can feel the way your lips widen, and he's occasionally kissing your teeth when your sluggishness keeps you from matching his pace. With little pants leaving you, you drag your lips away.
He sighs, frustrated by the loss of your softness against him. "Baby..." he groans, the sound almost whine-like to your ears. He wants more, so much more of you, and you're ignoring him. You're too busy kissing his chin, and his cheeks, and the tip of his nose.
You drag your other hand down to his chest and keep your hands splayed out on it as you let your lips trail his jaw, lightly sucking on the skin. Toji can't help but think about how this version of you will be gone in the morning. You won't be as outwardly affectionate, you'll go back to second guessing every move you make with him and shrinking every time he steals kisses from you, instead of confidently kissing him back like you did a minute ago.
You make your way down his neck, pressing kiss after kiss on him before you move towards his ear. "I love you, Toji," you whisper, kissing the shell of his ear after. "Love you, love you, love you soooo much," you barrage, before throwing him off with a bite to his earlobe. You giggle like a menace into his ear, the warmth of your breath luring goosebumps out onto his skin.
He chuckles, repeatedly squeezing the soft skin of your waist between his hands. "Yeah? Tell me again," he murmurs snaking his hands beneath the back of your shirt. Your skin is very warm, and there's nothing to blame but Toji and that shitty wine for making your body react this way.
With uninterrupted hands, you course your fingers through his hair and lean in to bite him again, this time on his neck. Toji chuckles at how you instantly rush to soothe him with your tongue and a warm kiss, even when you inflicted zero pain on him.
"I love you, Toji," you repeat into the wet indentations you left behind. "My love... my handsome man... I cherish you, you know?"
Toji is practically purring at all the affection you're showering him with. The slurring of your words is blocked out and they remain clear as day to him. He manages to hum a deep little "mhm" to your last statement.
"It's just so hard to talk to you sometimes. You... you're so intimidating, sometimes. I don't expect you to understand..." you divert your gaze to his shoulder, not able to look him in the eyes as vulnerability takes sudden control of your emotions. "It seems like I don't appreciate you sometimes—all the time, but I do, Toji. I do appreciate you, and I can't ever say I love you enough to show it. Words aren't always enough."
Toji catches the waver in your voice and his eyes dart to yours. You're tearing up, and you're trying to still your quivering lips by pressing them together.
"Shit," Toji mutters under his breath. You have the saddest expression he's ever seen and it's messing with his heart. He pulls his hands out of your shirt so that he can swiftly pull you into his warm embrace. "Hey," he coos. You're shaking against him, holding your breath to avoid sobbing. Your lungs burn, but you'd rather feel that than make a scene of your tears. "Don't be sad, mama. What's with the tears, hm?" he murmurs. He can feel your tears dampening his shoulder, but the fact that you haven't made a sound is concerning. "Breathe or you'll die," he says, only half joking. He rubs a soothing palm against your back, his other arm around your waist.
You let out what sounds like a mixture between a choked laugh and a sob, slowly but surely regulating your breathing. You don't even feel like saying anything anymore because you know your voice will give way to even more pity.
"You're more than enough for me," Toji says, his chin resting on your head. "I know how you feel, you know how I feel. We're complete." He can feel the way you scrunch his shirt up into your fists. As if he would go anywhere without you. "I get you and you're stuck with me. Got it?" You silently nod against his shoulder in response. "Sit up and let me look at you."
You really don't want him to see you this way. Your eyes feel swollen and you don't feel presentable.
"I can't..." you say, barely audible. You release his shirt and let your hands go limp behind him.
"Why not?"
"I'm not pretty right now. Don't look at me."
"I'm gonna look at you," he challenges with a teasing grin.
"Toji, don't look at me."
"Too late, it's happening. Plan's already in motion," he says, sliding his arms onto your shoulders.
"Toji, don't-" He effortlessly pushes you off his shoulder and gives you a once over. You look defeated and you're unable to look him in the eyes, but at least he can see you now.
"Don't know what you were so worried about. You look the same but more blush-y." You finally give him your slightly reddened eyes, a soft smile appearing on your face. You look like your sober self. "Yeah, you look the same."
"Are you lying?" You ask, still not regaining the full strength of your voice yet.
"I wouldn't tell you if I was, but no, i'm not lying. You're so pretty." Toji wiped away tears that were stuck beneath your eyes, and you giggled. He washed away your sadness within a couple minutes. Toji always did this for you in exchange for your love and affection. He lifted your spirits when you didn't feel deserving of him, and with time, he got much better at recognizing the signs that came with this ridiculous idea you planted in your head.
"You're done loving on me? Already?" He asks in playful disbelief.
"You're not done with me? Do you actually want more?" You ask, hesitantly.
"Don't want more, I need more," he corrects, returning his hands to their rightful place on your waist. "Get all up on me, princess."
You giggle, leaning closer towards him to peck a kiss onto his cheek.
"Mhm, like that," he says, contently, when you pick up the pace and start smothering him. "Yeah, baby, there you go." His forearms go beneath your shirt, encircling around your bare waist and pulling you close to him like before. "Who's getting spoiled like me?" He says through a grin. You're holding back laughs as he continues to praise you for your affection.
"S-Stop," you say through a wheeze, not able to contain the sound any longer when you looked at him.
"What are you laughing at, huh?" He chases you this time, pressing his nose into your cheek before planting a light kiss into your jaw.
"You're so unserious," you say, turning your head as he keeps going with the kisses.
"Mmm... I'm serious about you," he says, feeling the vibration of your laughter against his grin. "So serious."
Your cheeks feel incredibly hot from how much you've been smiling. In this little drunken haze, things are so good. You're so happy, you're so affectionate, and you talk so much. This isn't like you at all, but it's not hurting anyone, especially not Toji. There was one minor slip, but you moved past it so quickly like the words never left your head to begin with. You're just so simple... so easy to take care of.
Toji notices the way your eyes are starting to lid with tiredness, and while he would love for you to doze off in his arms right then and there, you'd probably prefer waking up in a bed.
"Let's go to bed, yeah?" He suggests.
"What? No! I just got here... We can still talk, and kiss and- I'm not even tired."
Toji grins at the way you fight him on this, and he has half a mind to indulge you when you look so adorable, but he has to stand his ground. He's right.
"But, you are. You can't even hold your eyes open, anymore."
You feel sad again because the rest of the night would be going to waste if you both go to sleep early. You're there to spend time with Toji, and yet you feel like it's your fault your time is being cut short. You're thinking you shouldn't have drank the wine so quickly, if at all.
"Listen, doll," Toji says. He doesn't like the sadness that resurfaces on your pretty face. He doesn't think you should look that way because of him. "We're just gonna go lay in bed. We don't have to go to sleep. We can stay up as long as you want. Light on or light off, whatever you wanna do, let's just move it to the room."
You sigh, still not completely convinced that the night isn't over, but Toji managed to persuade you. "Will you carry me, please? My legs feel like jelly."
"Of course. What kind of person would I be if I let you stumble into the room on your own?"
You sigh, wrapping your arms around his neck and your legs around his waist, your face buried into the crook of his neck. "You'd still be my favorite person, but i'd be a little upset..."
Toji stands from the couch, humming in response to your quiet mumbles.
"...but not really upset. Just a little bummed. Not for too long, though, 'cause I love you, but I would expect an apology from you if I fell down," you draw out.
Toji cracks at your little ramblings. It's a ten second walk from the couch to the bedroom, and the whole time you were working through a hypothetical conflict.
"Yeah? You'd want me to say sorry?" He asks, setting you down on the bed.
"Mhm, and then I wouldn't be upset or bummed anymore," you mutter to yourself as you roll onto your back.
"That's fair. Want the light on or off?"
"Off," you blurt. "Let's tell scary stories," you trill, enthusiastically. You pull the blanket over your lower body until it reaches just below your chest.
Toji makes his way to the bed after turning off the light. He takes his shirt off, and out of habit lets it fall to the floor. "We're not telling scary stories this late at night," he says, joining you beneath the blanket.
"But, they're funny," you say, turning to face him. "I don't get scared, either."
"Depends on who's telling the story. I'm sure as hell not gonna feed you a nightmare, doll."
"Boo," you say, lowly. "Whatever, i'm over it already," you mutter, rolling your eyes.
Toji watches you grow more and more tired as you throw random, nonsensical topics at him. You're taking longer to respond by the minute, and you're dozing off while humming in thought. You shake awake each time it happens and try to keep the conversation going, but Toji just shushes you and tells you to go back to sleep.
"I can see the moon through the window," you mumble, looking past him.
"I know, shh..." he hushes you, again.
"There's only like... one star," you whisper, in awe.
"Baby, come here," Toji says, like he's about to lecture you about the rules of sleep, but really he's just thinking that if his body heat doesn't put you down, he's gonna have to stay up with you until you fall asleep on your own.
You scoot closer towards Toji, tucking your arms into your chest when he reaches out to pull you into him the rest of the way. His body exudes so much warmth, you feel like you don't need the blanket at all.
There was nothing left for you to say when you couldn't see or feel anything but him. It was as if you were gone the second he enveloped you in his arms. You were small to the brink of nonexistence, no longer there to tell him what your surroundings were, or to ask him thoughtless, silly questions. You were no longer there to fight off the sleep he only seemed to bring closer towards you. Feeling his warm skin against you made you change your mind about this invisible fiend that was pulling your eyelids down. You now welcomed the calls to rest from your steady heartbeats.
Your silence gave him the answer he needed, but for good measure, he poked at you with a whisper of, "Ma?" and waited a few seconds for your response. Nothing. He sighed and coiled around you tighter. Thoughts of the night ran through his head. Your soft, yet, occasionally bruising kisses and the imprints of your teeth on his skin, your unapologetic laughter, your certainty in using the pet names that claimed him as yours. He was weak for the amount of times you openly told him you loved him. It was a psychedelic dream, to say the least. One he hoped would continue once he followed you into slumber.
You woke up hours later, completely smothered by your bear of a man. All you could do was stare up at the ceiling, while you waited for Toji to wake up because he was literally breathing down your neck. His arm rested over your chest, his legs were tangled with yours, and his face was right beside your face. You weren't feeling the effects of the wine anymore, and luckily, you didn't have a headache or any signs of a hangover. You were back, which meant...
"What are you staring at?" A deep, raspy voice jolts you out of your thoughts.
You look at the handsome face next to you, and as if your heart can hear and see, it wakes up. "Nothing. Just woke up," you lie.
"Mm... you were staring hard at the roof. I thought it came to life or something," Toji chuckles. You smile, briefly, before looking at the ceiling again.
Toji releases you and flips onto his back, wanting to know what's so fascinating about the space you're looking at. "What are you thinking?" He asks, when he discovers nothing but blank space.
You take your time, not wanting to stumble over your words. Your heart skips a beat when he turns his head to look at you. In the time it takes for you to respond, you both could have gone back to sleep again.
"A penny for your thoughts?" he finally says, following the idiom with a question. "Did I even use that correctly?"
You can't help but laugh, nodding your head to answer his question. "I'm thinking about last night. Sorry if I said anything stupid."
Toji turns his body towards you again, thinking the only thing that's stupid is that he's still staring at the roof instead of staring at you. "You didn't. You were calm, from what I got to see, at least."
"So... boring."
"Not boring," he instantly catches. "You were perfect. You didn't have me running around chasing you, you weren't a brat—it couldn't have gone better, ma." He purposely missed something in his less than brief recount of the night to you. He can think back to the emotions that seeped through your little daze, and your insecurity about outwardly showing him love, all he wants, but there's no way in hell he's bringing that up to you, now. "You ramble a lot," he adds, a soft smile emerging on his face.
You can feel your cheeks warming up. "Oh god," you groan in embarrassment. "That's not- Sorry, that sounds... not so fun. Annoying of me, actually."
"Stop, it was cute," he assures, adding more fury to the blush creeping on your face. "Then you wouldn't go to sleep 'cause you kept seeing stuff outside the window."
You wanted to drown yourself in the blanket. Shame and embarrassment were winning their battle against you, as always.
"That was also cute," he says, watching the way your lips twitch as you bite back a smile. "You know my favorite part, though?" He says, grinning as he leans towards your ear.
"N-No, what?" You ask, trying so hard not to giggle.
"When you kissed me and told me you loved me," he murmurs into your ear like it's a dirty secret.
You snicker, the short sound of amusement evolving into laughter within seconds. You throw the blanket over your face and partially over Toji's face. The sight of your veiled body shaking with laughter lured out a couple chuckles of his own.
"That's funny?" He asks, pulling the blanket down, allowing you to see the sly grin he's sporting.
"A little bit," you respond, smiling— a remainder of your laughter.
"Silly girl. Come here," he says, dragging you back into his arms. "There's no reason you should be awake at six in the morning on your day off. Let's go back to sleep," he murmurs into the crown of your head. "We can go out for breakfast, later."
"Okay," you mumble, eyes shut already as you embrace the natural warmth of his body.
"One more thing," he murmurs. You don't raise your gaze, but your ears are open and you're listening closely. "Tell me you love me."
You didn't expect that, but you weren't going to deny him of such a simple thing. The words were easy to recite because you meant them with every fiber of your being. "I love you, Toji," you comply, immediately.
He sighs, contently, almost like hearing those words revitalized him. "Love you, too, mama."
That went out to every version of you.
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pleasantlycrazyworld · 2 months ago
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A/N: Reader is female, also a mutant with logan like powers. Logan calls the reader princess, darling, and his girl. Unprotected sex (Please don't be stupid and do this). I had a few requests for this, and i figured why not post it on Halloween! Happy Halloween to everyone who celebrates, I hope you enjoy the smut. I worked hard on it, but I'm not the best smut writer, lol. Request are open for Logan and Bucky! And I'm very close to 1,000 followers, so I might try and do some sort of special for it <3
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Logan should've listened to you when you said something was going to go wrong during the mission. "I don't know Lo, I just have this feeling that I can't seem to shake" you whined and grabbed his arm trying to get him to reconsider and have Charles send someone else for the mission, but he just disregarded you completely. He was just too stubborn, too proud for his own good, and it was really biting him in the ass now.
The mission was supposed to be normal, just a quick in and out. Get into the abandoned laboratory, do a quick scan to make sure it is abandoned, and then steal the plans for mutant mass destruction. Simple, something he's done a million times before but as he sits in the jet panting, sweating, nearly moaning in discomfort, he realizes how badly he fucked up. Fuck when is she ever wrong? Why didn't you just listen to her?! He groaned internally as he looked at the time, only a few more minutes than he'd be home in your bed, with you in his arms... with his cock deep in your pussy. He let a loud moan fall from his lips as he started to think of your body, fuck did he need you.
You were pacing waiting for Logan to come back from the mission, "Where is he? He should've been home hours ago!" You were beyond worried and frustrated over the whole situation, technically you knew that Logan would always come back home to you but that doesn't make the wait easier, it doesn't make seeing him bloody and aching easier either.
The front door finally opened and slammed shut. Logan's heavy footsteps could easily be heard echoing through the hall, "Logan!" You rushed to him to start checking for any injuries. Before you could ask him if he was okay, Logan pulled you into a deep, feverish kiss.
Logan groaned as he felt you gasp against his lips; his hands started to wander up your shirt as he walked you to your shared bedroom, trying his hardest not to break the kiss. You are the first to pull away,completely breathless and a bit confused."Logan...fuck baby what's going on?" You asked as his lips trailed down your neck, leaving rough bites in their place. "Need you, need your skin on mine, need your pussy choking my cock" he cut himself off with a broken moan as he starts to grind his throbbing cock into your thigh, making you feel how hard he was. "Princess, please." He begged completely helpless.
You were worried, Logan had never acted this way before, never whined or begged, but you'd be a liar if you said it didn't make you wet hearing his deep voice beg for you.
Logan was pawing at your clothes before he finally decided to just rip them off completely. Before you could whine to him about your clothes being ripped, he silenced you with a kiss and promised to buy a new outfit for you. "I'll buy you whatever you want princess, just need to see you, need to see my pretty pussy." He moans pitifully when he does get a glimpse at your sex. "Fucking christ darlin' look how wet you are, all this for me?"
You nodded quickly and pulled him closer, "Logan please, need you in me, fuck me please I need it, need to feel you deep in me for the rest of the week." Your begging made his knees weak, it sounded like heaven to him, and who was he to deny you of what you wanted.
"Whatever, you need princess," he assured you with a smirk as he pulled away to finally undress completely. Your eyes widen seeing how hard he was, "Fucking hell Lo..." You muttered quietly knowing he would still hear you. "Does my girl need me?" He asked crawling up the bed, kissing the skin exposed as he moved further up your body.
When he finally reached your mouth, he gave you a sweet kiss as he slowly thrust into you. Oh, oh my fucking--! He groaned internally as he felt your warm walls stretch around him. You broke the kiss to moan his name, throwing your head back.
You ended up moving your hands to his shoulder to hold on to him better as he thrusted more erratic, and without noticing, your claws slowly started to appear from your nails. Before you could notice, they ended up digging into his shoulder muscle deeply. An animalistic moan ripped from his chest as he felt your claws draw blood. His hips moved on their own, in and out, into your warmth and out for a split second before plunging back into you faster and deeper than before. It was like his hips were moving faster than his mind could keep up, and the only thing he could think about was you.
Your warmth, your softness, your smell, your taste. You were the only thing on his mind. He could feel his eyes roll back as his orgasm approaches. With his eyes closed, he could feel every inch of you. It was like he could feel each one of your atoms against his.
His eyes fluttered open when he heard you whimper louder than before. "Fuck you're so pretty darlin, sound so pretty for me...need more, need you to cum." He moaned before he could finish his sentence. "I really, really need you to cum on my cock princess, need you to milk me. Take it, take it all from me princess it's yours." He grunted and moved your legs to be over his shoulders, given him a new angle to thrust even deeper than before. You screamed his name as you came on his cock. He leaned down to have your chest press together as he prepared to cum deep in your pussy, "Gonna cum-fuck gonna cum deep in my pussy, keep you full for a while then when it's dripped out, I'll fuck you again to keep you full all over again." His pelvis rubbed against your clit, making you clench around him even tighter than before thanks to the overstimulation he was giving you. Feeling you get even tighter made Logan moan out and finally give in before cumming as deep as he possibly could.
It felt like an eternity before Logan finally stopped cumming. He collapsed on top of you, completely breathless and his limbs felt numb. "Holy...fuck darling" he nearly giggles as he basks in his afterglow, in all of his life he cannot remember a time where he ever came like that. "I don't think I'd ever fucked that good before" he said kissing the bruises that he could reach that was slowly disappearing on your skin.
You sighed happily, feeling his lips on your skin. You started to play with his hair softly as you hummed in agreement. You couldn't remember ever having sex that intensely before. "What did you get into on that mission?" You asked curiously, and he shrugged. "Not much. There was this pink powder that poofed in my face, though." He said as if it meant nothing, "Logan!" You tried to look at him to see if he was drugged in some sort of way but before you could, you could feel his cock hardening inside you all over again.
Logan moved to have you caged between his arms once again and asked with a knowing smirk, "Round two?"
Well how could you say no to that?...
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