#Secretly Distribution

[akirakirxaa]

For absolutely no reason at all please reblog if you think grey or blue skinned Duskwight based characters can be Ishgardian.

[twistedappletree]

The orphan distribution system trope in the MDZS universe is so top tier honestly

[cakemoney]

finding out that kaito and shinichi have been revealed to be cousins is like finding out there was a huge earthquake in the country you used to live in

[injuries-in-dust]

I don't know why, but I like the idea of humans being to aliens, what cats are to humans...

Alien1: hey, when did you hire a human?

Alien 2: we didn't. They just wandered aboard one day, saying they wanted to "hitch a ride." Then they never left. I think they like it here.

Alien 1: the human distribution system has chosen.

***

Alien stares at the human, who has climbed up a very high shelving unit.

Alien: Human, get down before you hurt yourself.

The humans response is to climb higher.

***

Alien is secretly filming their human, who is spaced out and just staring at nothing.

Alien (whispering): I think the human is about to intercept the brain cell. (Laughter) don't worry human, if it tingles that means it's working.

[friendofthecrows]

Hi. We've been doing this since 2022. Check out @goncharovproductions

It's going to be a real film, and we're trying to make it as faithful to the original as possible. It's also just great fun to work on :) I love gonching.

ok i dont actually think this should be done but you know what would be really funny?

if someone ‘remade’ goncharov. someone compiles enough reviews and textposts and gifsets to make a make shift “original” script, and then rewrite the movie as a modern reboot.

all the interviews talk about how they changed this scene or had to remove that scene. they talk about how they took certain creative liberties to adjust the story. they talk about how they admire the original cast and direction and tried to live up to that as genuinely as possible. how they struggled to cast a character because it seemed like no one could really embody the character the way the original actor did.

and it’s all a lie of course. because goncharov.

[libraryofgage]

Been having Secretly Smart Steve thoughts except it's less that his intellect is a secret and more that nobody ever noticed lmao

The initial thought for this is based on my mom's stories about acting like a ditzy airhead in high school but then graduating with honors

Within five minutes of walking into high school Steve definitely clocked that being cool was more important than being smart right? So he didn't really let on that he was good at class stuff and just let people think he was a simple jock

And Steve graduating isn't a huge thing cuz it happens during UD stuff which means they all miss graduation ceremony and just get their degrees later, so it's not like anyone saw the honors tassels that steve was given to wear with his grad gown

And the first real hint is Lucas trying to make a basket and getting frustrated. And Steve is like "here I'll show you" and proceeds to make every throw he makes from anywhere on the court and when Lucas asks how the fuck he does that Steve shrugs and is like "well, i mean, its all angles man"

Later Mike and Will are working on an egg drop project (you know the ones) and getting worked up cuz the eggs keep cracking. Steve has been watching TV or something the whole time and outta nowhere is like "yall are missing shock absorption and proper wind resistance, duh"

Nancy is trying to decode some number based cipher for fun but it's becoming rapidly Not Fun and Steve looks over her shoulder for like two seconds and goes "group the numbers into twos, subtract 18 from each, and then it's the alphabet letter based on the number" and then just walks off

Dustin is taking an engineering class and is having trouble building a bridge cuz it keeps collapsing when he sends a hot wheels car over it. Steve tells him he needs more load-bearing beams and to distribute the weight evenly and Dustin is surprised when it works

And, of course, Eddie sees all of this so one day when Max or Erica ask for help with some geometry homework he takes the worksheet they give him and immediately passes it along to Steve, waves off their disbelief, and sits all smug while Steve explains concepts they'd been missing entirely

[kxsagi]

Could you do something about the Blue Lock Boys with a girlfriend who practices a sport like Muay Thai or boxing professionally and is quite famous for dragging her opponents? 💘

“𝐊𝐎: 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐚 𝐨𝐛𝐬𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐝”

a/n: get em girl boss

ft. itoshi rin, itoshi sae, isagi yoichi, nagi seishiro, mikage reo, kaiser michael, karasu tabito, bachira meguru, shidou ryusei

itoshi rin

silently obsessed. he never says anything, but you catch him rewinding your fight clips with laser focus like he’s decoding national secrets. 

“your weight distribution was off by 3% in round two.” bro how do you even know that? 

secretly has your “top 10 verbal takedowns” saved to his phone. watches them when he needs cheering up. 

he’s not impressed when you trash talk. he’s turned on. 

you call someone “a wet mop with delusions” and he just raises an eyebrow like, hot. 

refuses to sit in the VIP section, instead sits in the back so no one sees how fast he’s clapping when you land a KO. 

“that punch was sloppy.” five minutes later in private: “... you looked good though.” 

itoshi sae

you could be dragging your opponent across the ring by their hair and sae would still be in the front row sipping iced coffee like it’s a spa day. 

literally unfazed. she’s choking someone? cool. what’s for dinner? 

sometimes you don’t even notice he’s there until he shows up behind you post-match like, “hey. you’re bleeding. want tacos?” 

thinks your trash talk is theatrical brilliance. 

“she said ‘i’m gonna turn you into a cautionary tale’ and then actually did. love that for her.” 

got banned from interviews because he kept answering on your behalf. “how do you feel about the win?” “she’s hungry. move.” 

you're punching people, he's posting “date night ❤️” selfies. 

isagi yoichi

isagi fell for your smile. the public fell for your fists. 

he watches your matches like he’s witnessing a crime. jaw clenched, eyes wide, muttering prayers like a soccer mom watching an MMA bloodbath. 

you’re standing over your KO’d opponent, shouting, “tell your coach to pick better fighters,” and he’s clapping like “yay baby good sportsmanship 👍” 

pre-fight: “good luck, you got this ❤️” 

post-fight: googling how to hide a body because you just ended someone's career. 

once tried to “trash talk” your rival to hype you up and said, “you’re gonna get dropped so hard, your sponsors are gonna ghost you. better hope your wifi connection is stronger than your jaw.” 

kisses your bruised knuckles gently like you’re a porcelain doll, not the reason three people retired early. 

nagi seishiro

doesn’t understand anything about boxing but calls you “champ” with his whole chest. 

falls asleep watching your replays. wakes up like, “oh nice punch babe.” 

once live-tweeted your match with absolutely zero context: “she kicked someone. she’s mad. i want a sandwich.” 

wore your merch to your match, but accidentally put it on backwards. 

lets you practice moves on him but flops like a ragdoll after one jab. “ugh too hard. let me lay here. i’m your emotional support floor.” 

told the team your pre-fight stare “felt like being hunted by a hot panther.” 

thinks your trash talk is poetry. “you said she hits like a toddler with pool noodles? iconic.” 

mikage reo

you’re the fists, he’s the PR team. this man markets your violence like a startup. 

“she punches, she profits, she slays. watch the brand grow.” 

always wearing your custom gloves around his neck like a necklace. people think he boxes, too. he does not. 

posts ringside selfies with captions like: “date night 🥰✨ (she sent someone to the ER xoxo)” 

gets personally offended when your opponent breathes in your direction. 

“did she just look at you funny? okay, but WHO gave her that right.” 

hands out business cards that say “a maneater’s boyfriend 💋” 

has your catchphrases trademarked. yes, even the one where you threatened to turn someone’s ribs into origami. 

kaiser michael

somehow thinks your fights are about him. 

“she wins because she’s inspired by my greatness.” kaiser pls. 

stands ringside with his arms crossed and a smirk like he’s the final boss of the match. 

you said “i’m gonna fold her like a beach chair” and he printed it on a hoodie. wears it proudly. 

reporters: “kaiser, are you afraid of your girlfriend’s aggression?” 

kaiser: “afraid? i fuel it.” 

makes you couple’s merch that says “she hits / he hollas” 

once kissed you mid-match. literally interrupted the referee. said it was “good luck.” you still won. 

karasu tabito

you flame someone during weigh-ins and he’s behind you whispering, “YEAH. GET HER ASS.” 

follows your rival’s private account on twitter just to “hate more efficiently.” 

“i’m not petty. i’m supportive.” 

once shouted “THAT’S MY GIRLFRIEND!!!” when you dislocated someone’s shoulder. 

analyzes your fights like a reality show. “did you see her face when you landed that hook? chef’s kiss.” 

lets you demonstrate chokeholds on him just so he can say, “yeah, she does this to me at home, too.” 

acts scared around you for fun. “i told her i forgot to do the dishes and she did a spinning elbow. i think i blacked out. she’s so cute.” 

bachira meguru

paints your face on a flag. brings it to every match. 

screams “GET HER, BABE! TURN HER INTO A HUMAN PRETZEL!!” from the sidelines. 

once tried to jump into the ring mid-fight because “your foot looked lonely. i wanted to help.” 

you: death glares your opponent pre-match. 

bachira: “aw she’s so pretty when she’s homicidal 🥰” 

makes you fan edits that go viral. 

also made one of your KO punches into a meme template. it’s now used in sports arguments across the internet. 

your opponent: “you suck.” 

bachira, holding up a glitter sign: “say that again but louder so everyone can hear my girlfriend crack your jaw.” 

shidou ryusei

lives for the chaos. you throw one punch and he’s tearing his shirt off in the stands. 

“THAT’S MY GIRL!!! KICK HER IN THE TEETH!!!” 

got banned from five venues for excessive screaming. wears it like a badge of honor. 

tried to propose mid-fight once. while you were punching someone. 

rewatches your KO clips with suspicious enthusiasm. “look at that form. look at that power. i’m so in love with her violence.” 

also calls you pet names like “bloodthirsty babe” and “my precious little war crime.” 

100% believes you could take him in a fight. wants you to prove it. 

© 𝐤𝐱𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐢

[leahwllmsn]

good graces II

alexia putellas x reader

word count: 4.6k

part 1

You and Alexia are teammates. You still dislike her. So much.

Life at Barcelona was way better than you expected. It had only been a few months but it felt like you’ve always belonged here. 

The city was beautiful, you spent most weekends watching the sunset by the beach, a change from the gloomy England you were accustomed to. Sometimes a teammate would join you, mostly Kika or Jana, or you were on your own. You considered getting a pet cat, but you didn’t think they’d love being dragged to the beach. So you put that thought on hold.

Everyone at Barcelona welcomed you with open arms. You were playing better than you’ve ever played before. You and Alexia were… working well too.

After the first training session with your new team, you quickly realized that you and Alexia were better off as teammates instead of rivals. You two worked so well together, assisting each other’s goals and always finding each other on the field that even you were left feeling confused—what were the odds of having this type of connection with someone?

The only thing that didn’t change was the subtle acts of her trying to kill you, which now only happened during training. Pere would put you in separate teams, just because. You had a feeling it was because he liked to see you two fight, you overheard the other girls gossiping about it—how still having that spark of competition was healthy, or something. 

You didn’t know how it could still be considered healthy with every shove and every tackle your  way.

“Alexia, for god’s sake, that was your fifth yellow!”

“It was not!” The blonde had the decency to laugh. 

You laid still on the ground, Alexia having ‘accidentally’ pushed you again. No one batted an eye. 

“How is this fair?!” You groaned. “She clearly shoved me!”

“I didn’t! Princesa, get up!” 

You could only glare at your captain, still sporting that gummy smile of hers—how were you supposed to focus when she was smiling like that? All innocent as if she had no faults at all. You wanted to kill her back.

“C’mon, cariño,” Alexia offered her hand out for you to take, but you ignored her, choosing to lay still, staring up at the sky. 

“Go away.”

You glared at her again when all she did was laugh that addicting laugh of hers. You hated it so much.

“Can we take a short break?” Alexia told someone, you figured it was Pere. As the captain she sure could do anything she wanted. Like shove you around and not get a yellow card. Must be nice.

You closed your eyes and took a deep breath. Your patience was wearing thin. It wasn’t the first time Alexia pushed you. Whether it was intentional or not (you would argue that it was definitely, one hundred percent intentional), you still fell because of it.

Alexia was strong. You didn’t need to see her defined biceps, how broad her shoulders were, those thighs—

You were smaller in frame compared to Alexia, of course she was much stronger than you. You’ve seen her lift weights as if it was nothing, she was so strong, sometimes you wonder if she could lift you up just as easily. That would be so hot. Not that you wanted her to lift you up in her strong arms, but it would be nice. 

Suddenly, you felt a warm body next to you. You furrowed your brows and opened your eyes to see Alexia mirroring your position.

“What are you doing?”

She simply shrugged, placing both her hands underneath her head and sighed. “Taking a break next to the prettiest girl on the field.”

You pushed her away from you, earning a laugh, but it only made your blood boil. When she didn’t bulge at all, acting like your shove was weak, you shoved her again, harder this time. “Go away, Alexia. I don’t want you here.”

Alexia scooted even closer to you. “But I’m comfortable here.”

You could only groan and cross your arms (secretly you enjoyed her warmth pressing against you). “My body will turn blue and you’re getting away with it. That was your fifth yellow!”

“We don’t distribute yellow cards during training, bonita.”

“What if I get hurt, huh? You never thought about that?”

“I would never hurt you. All my tackles are clean and I don’t push you to the ground on purpose! It’s all just part of the game, baby.”

“Don’t call me that.” (You liked it. Kind of.)

“Okay, sorry, amor.”

“You’re riling me up.”

You suddenly felt a finger poking your cheek. “What the-”

“Forgive me please, hermosa.”

“No, you’re annoying.” Alexia repeatedly poked your cheek, you had to swat her hand away. “Alexia! Go annoy someone else.”

“Give me a smile please, princesa, you’re prettier when you smile.”

You internally cursed yourself at the slight tug of your lips. You hoped she didn’t notice. Alexia annoyed you to death, but you would be lying if you said you didn’t crave her attention. You sat up and flicked the blonde’s forehead. 

“Ow!” you could see a couple of heads turning at Alexia’s shout. “That hurts!”

“No it didn’t, you’re so dramatic,” you looked at how she was still holding a hand over her forehead. “It was nothing.”

“It hurts,” Alexia pouted. She pouted and you felt that tug in your heart at the sight. You sighed, taking her hand away from her forehead, leaning down to inspect what she claimed was forming a bruise.

You didn’t realize how close your faces were, you were too busy focusing on finding any indication of a bruise to see her eyes flicking down to your lips.

“Stop lying,” you stated. “I doubt that hurt.”

“It does,” Alexia whined. “I’m fragile!”

You rolled your eyes at her. You knew the only way to get her to shut up was to turn the tables on her. So you did the only thing you could think of, you leaned down and pressed a soft kiss on her forehead.

The moment you heard her breath hitch, you knew you got her.

“There,” you whispered. “Now it won’t hurt.”

You flashed a smirk at her dumbfounded face and stood up.

Now it was your turn to offer a hand, raising an eyebrow when Alexia did nothing but gaped at you. 

“Stop looking at me like that, Alexia,” you took her hand and forced her to get up. “You look like a fish.”

When Alexia said nothing else and you had to drag her to where everyone was, you knew you won this round.

Looking at how red her face was, knowing that it wasn’t because of the heat (it was a cool day in Barcelona), you felt so smug the entire day.

—

“So… you and Alexia are a thing now?”

You spluttered your coffee across the table, Kika grimacing when she felt some of it on her face. “Gross.”

It was a Sunday before a match at home. Ever since the season started, you and Kika had developed a ritual where you would get coffee at this little café near the stadium.

“Then don’t ask me stupid questions when I’m drinking!”

Kika rolled her eyes at you, wiping your mess with some napkins. “It’s not a stupid question when everyone on the team thinks so. I saw you kiss her forehead last week!”

You felt the heat rising up to your cheeks. You thought no one saw that. “I didn’t,” you lied through gritted teeth. “Besides, I hate her. I can’t stand her. I want to kill her. Sometimes.”

“Wow,” suddenly you heard a voice from behind you. A very familiar voice you knew too well (you heard it in your dreams a million times). “I’m sad to hear that, princesa.”

“Alexia.”

You glared at her in greeting when she rested a hand on your shoulder. 

“Hola, mi amor,” Alexia grinned at you. Kika was grinning at you too, you wanted to smack your best friend’s face.

“What are you doing here? You’re ruining my pre-game ritual. It involves Kika, coffee, and not seeing your face for a few hours.”

“You wound me, cariño,” Alexia placed a hand over her heart and pouted. She saw the empty seat to your left and went to sit, placing her cup of coffee on the table. “Don’t act like you’re not happy to see me here.”

“I’m not,” you shifted your chair to your right, away from Alexia. It was futile though, because all Alexia did was smirk and followed suit, shifting closer to you every time you moved away.

“You two are so cute,” you were snapped out of your glaring contest with the blonde when you heard Kika’s voice. “I want what you two have.”

Before you could reply, Alexia beat you to it. “Gracias. We are cute, aren’t we, bebita?”

“I’m cute, yes. You? Not so much,” you drank your remaining coffee, wanting to get out of there. A part of you didn’t though. It was that conflicting emotions that resurfaced whenever Alexia was around.

You hated Alexia. You really did. Or at least, you thought you did.

But a part of you knew that you didn’t. You liked her. You liked her presence, you liked the way she looked at you—the stupid smirk always present on her face as her eyes twinkled with mischief—you liked the way her cheeks turned red whenever you flirted back, her stutters before she composed herself and returned that cool demeanour.

You liked how well you two worked on the pitch, how you were so sure that if you two played with a blindfold on, you would still be able to find one another. You liked when you two were the only ones left after a training session, both of you doing extra shooting practices in silence. You liked when Alexia came up to you a day after a match with her iPad, you two sitting down on the floor of the locker room as she showed you what she thought could be improved and you telling her your opinions.

You two liked to bicker, but other times, you two could act friendly too. You liked it a lot when Alexia wasn’t giving off major teenage boy vibes. 

(You would be lying if you said you didn’t like when she was purposely riling you up though. You secretly looked forward to it. But you wouldn’t admit it to anyone. Ever).

“Hey, earth to the prettiest girl on the planet,” Alexia waved a hand over your face. Great. You were daydreaming about her again. It was becoming concerning how often your thoughts drifted to her. “All good? We’ve been calling your name.”

Meanwhile Kika was looking at you and Alexia as if the two of you were the modern day Romeo and Juliet. You weren’t even together. You made a mental note to emphasize that to Kika. You and Alexia were colleagues at best. 

“I’m all good,” you averted your gaze away from her, hating that her eyes were searching yours, her hazel eyes showing a hint of worry as if she was actually concerned about you. 

“All good because I’m here?” Alexia wiggled her eyebrows. Kika’s grin became impossibly bigger. You rolled your eyes to the back of your head. 

You took your cup to your lips but realized they were empty. You sighed. Alexia being here made you feel like you need ten more cups of coffee. Before you could stand up and get yourself another though, Alexia took your empty cup and replaced it with hers.

“It’s almond milk,” she stated, her eyebrows raised as if urging you to drink it.

“You hate almond milk,” you said back. It was true, you knew for a fact that Alexia drank her coffee with oat milk. You heard it in passing once and your brain decided to store this fact somewhere. You remembered confronting Alexia about it, because you believed that coffee with almond milk was superior and you couldn’t comprehend how someone could dislike it.

Alexia shrugged at you and you narrowed your eyes at her. Things weren’t adding up. Alexia would never willingly buy this. You could only conclude one thing. “It’s poisonous, isn’t it? Must I remind you that we have a game tonight? I can’t get poisoned!”

The laugh your captain let out was able to make a couple of heads turn in your direction. You slapped her forearm with the hand that wasn’t holding the coffee. “Shut up, Alexia. What’s so funny?”

“It’s not poisonous, princesa,” Alexia rolled her eyes and took back her coffee. She took a sip and exhaled dramatically then put the cup back in your hand. “See? I’m still alive. That was disgusting, but I’m still alive.”

“Okay…” you dragged out, still confused why Alexia bought a coffee she would never drink. You got rid of the thought that she bought it for you. That she went to the café just to see you.

But that would be ridiculous.

…But very possible with the way Alexia let you have her coffee and ended up leaving the café without having drank anything else.

If it was true, it could only mean Alexia wanted something from you and you needed to find out what.

—

The game went fairly easy. You were playing against a team at the bottom of the table. With both you and Alexia starting, it wasn’t a shock that you were up 3-0 within the first fifteen minutes.

Everyone felt good about the game, there were smiles all over the pitch, even you and Alexia hugged after you assisted a goal for her. 

It was a calm Sunday night game. 

Nobody could predict that an opposing player would mistime their tackle, causing your legs to buckle from underneath you.

The next thing you knew, you were screaming out in pain.

It was your ankle. It hurt a lot. 

“Cariño, breathe, calm down, you’re going to be okay.” You heard your captain’s voice before you could see her, your eyes still shut from the excruciating pain you were feeling. “Princesa, you’re okay.”

You felt her hand wipe your tears away, causing you to slowly open your eyes.

Alexia was crouched next to you, you could spot the worry on her face clear as day. You didn’t know why that was, you didn’t think it was simply because she was your captain. Alexia was not usually this concerned when someone else was down. You felt that familiar tug in your heart again, the one present whenever Alexia did something unthinkable.

From the corner of your eyes, you saw the medic inspecting your leg, you heard the mutters of noticeable swelling and how you definitely sprained your ankle.

You tried to control your breathing, following Alexia’s instructions as she repeated over and over for you to breathe. You knew you fucked your ankle. You didn’t know how bad it was though. You hoped for a mild sprain but you doubt it with the way your ankle felt like it wasn’t connected to the rest of your body.

The medic mentioned a possible torn ligament, something you knew that if it was severe, it would take months to recover. Fresh tears appeared from your eyes again. Alexia was there to wipe them away before they fell. 

“Hey, hey, focus on me,” Alexia had her hands on your cheeks, she was kneeling now and you almost protested, always feeling that tiny fear whenever she put some type of pressure on her knee even though it was perfectly fine now—not that you cared about her, you just needed her to never get injured again—“Cariño, look at me.”

You focused your gaze on her. Her hazel eyes with so much concern swirling around in them that you felt overwhelmed. “Ale,” you croaked out. “This hurts like shit.”

Alexia let out a watery laugh. You couldn’t figure out why she was tearing up too. “I know, princesa. Just hold on. You’ll be okay.”

“Fuck,” you cursed. You didn’t feel like you would be okay, but you saw the confidence in Alexia’s eyes when she kept on telling you that you’d get through this and that she’d be there for you every step of the way. You could feel yourself starting to believe her.

They pulled out a stretcher for you. A protest was already on the tip of your tongue when you felt Alexia rubbing gentle circles on the back of your hand. “I know you want to walk off this field, but I think it’s better if you get on that stretcher.”

You looked at the blonde next to you and that was when you realized that Alexia knew you better than you thought.

“Being stretched off doesn’t mean you’re any less strong. I’ll see you after the game, okay?”

You could only nod at her, not sure where this Alexia came from.

Alexia kissed the palm of your hand before letting you leave. Despite the pain in your ankle, you felt a little at peace, replaying the way her lips felt against your hand.

—

The doctors confirmed that you had a grade 2 sprain in your ankle. The recovery was going to take a month or so, depending on your progress.

You were just relieved that you didn’t need surgery. You had always been afraid of the hospitals. The thought of staying there for more than a day was chilling. 

Now that the pain had subsided, you felt calmer. You were able to plan out what you were going to do to get yourself healthy and back on the field. You were able to replay the events on the field, how you went down and how Alexia was there to take care of you. 

Speaking of which, the moment the doctors finished speaking to you, the door opened and Alexia peeked her head in.

“Hola,” Alexia gave you a comforting smile. You noticed she was holding a bag of pastries from your favourite bakery. You raised an eyebrow at her.

“Are those for me?” you croaked out, your words were spoken above a whisper.

Alexia stood next to your bed, dropping the brown paper bag on your lap. “Figured you’d be hungry.”

“I don’t have the stomach to eat,” you tried your best to smile at her. You were so tired. “But thank you.”

“We can heat this up later.”

You looked at her in confusion. “We?”

“Yes,” Alexia answered as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “I’m taking you home and I’m moving in.”

In your defense, your brain was still hazy from all the pain killers they pumped into you and from the information you had to hear from the doctors and the Barcelona staff. You could have sworn that Alexia, who you weren’t even sure if she was your friend, said she was going to move in. To your place, you assumed. 

You figured your brain was just playing tricks on you so you could only nod at her and let her take you home.

—

You were trying to get yourself comfortable on your couch, Alexia fussing over the way you sit and the way your ankle should be rested. It was ridiculous.

“Alexia, I’m fine.”

“Your ankle needs to be at the right angle, hermosa, or else it will hurt even more.” Now Alexia was puffing up the pillows behind you, then putting two more pillows on each of your sides. You were pretty much drowning in your throw pillows.

Once she was satisfied with her work, she flopped on the spot next to you and let out the longest exhale. “I’m glad you’re taking this well, Y/n.”

You looked to your right. Alexia had her eyes closed, she was wearing your hoodie because she complained that your apartment was as cold as the North Pole and she didn’t bring any more clothes with her. Alexia looked at ease and you couldn’t help but let yourself enjoy this view. 

This was a side of Alexia you hadn’t seen before.

“You’ve been too nice to me,” you stated. Your statement caused the other girl to raise her eyebrows, a coy smile on her lips. “First, you bought me coffee this morning—”

“I didn’t buy that coffee for you,” Alexia interjected. “Your coffee was finished so I offered you mine.”

You looked at her as if you didn’t believe her. She was lying, you could tell because her lips twitched when she told a lie. “You don’t drink almond milk so I know you bought it for me, hermosa.”

“Ah,” Alexia smirked at you. Your cheeks reddened. “You think I’m beautiful?”

You tried to play it cool, a shrug was your answer. Alexia scooted closer to you, until her body was pressed against the throw pillow on your side. “So you are attracted to me.”

You couldn’t help the scoff that escaped your lips. “No. I only called you that because you call me that all the time. Just making fun of you. Something like that.”

“Well, I call you that because you are beautiful.”

The way your cheeks heat up so quickly should be a crime, honestly. You knew Alexia enjoyed this whole thing.

“You’re… okay,” you shrugged. “You’re not exactly my type.” (A lie).

Alexia looked genuinely offended at your statement. You took great pleasure in the way the frown on her face deepend. 

“I’m not your type?” she asked incredulously.

“Nope,” you smiled sweetly at her. “The only person I would date on the team is Frido. Now she’s definitely my type.” You weren’t attracted to Frido at all, but it was fun to see Alexia getting worked up over this.

“Frido is straight!”

“Frido is tall,” you mentioned dreamily—for dramatics. 

Alexia crossed her arms. “She’s not that tall.” 

“Frido is blonde. All blondes are hot.”

You almost laughed at the way Alexia lights up. “I’m blonde too.”

“Well,” you sent her your best pitying look. “You’re not a natural blonde. It doesn’t count.”

Alexia shot out of her seat. “It does!”

This time you did laugh. Alexia looked like you just told her something so awful, like Barcelona is the worst club in the world. It was adorable. Kind of. “Relax, Capi. I’m not attracted to Frido,” you didn’t know why but you felt the need to clarify. 

“Oh,” Alexia sat back down, trying to act nonchalant. You could tell she wanted to ask more questions about your type, but you couldn’t exactly say that she was your type.

A conversation for another day.

“Can you make me something to eat?” you changed the subject before Alexia could say anything else. “I’m hungry now.”

Alexia didn’t say anything else, her face was set to a determined look as she went straight to your kitchen. This was the first time the blonde had stepped in your apartment, but she acted as if she owned the place with the way she moved around your kitchen, somehow knowing where everything was placed.

“I’m going to have to stop by my place to get a couple of clothes. I will be back in an hour.” Alexia handed you a plate. You inspected the sandwich, noting that it had mayo and tomato sauce, just how you liked it. You were too stunned that Alexia knew your sandwich preference that you didn’t catch her sentence until she was halfway out the door.

“Wait!”

Alexia jumped at your voice, immediately turning around. “What? What is it?”

“What… exactly did you mean?”

Alexia looked at you questioningly. 

“Why are you going home and coming back in an hour?” you clarified.

“I’m… going to my place because I need clothes? It’s a 20 minute drive.”

You narrowed your eyes. “And why… do you need clothes?”

Because Alexia was Alexia, instead of answering your question seriously, she threw you the biggest smirk with flirty eyes. “Do you prefer I walk around your apartment naked?”

Your eyes widened at her statement. It was ridiculous that you felt your face getting warm at the images of Alexia in your apartment—

“Okay, no! I don’t want you naked—”

“Sure, bonita.”

You groaned. “Can you explain why you’re coming back when you can just go home? I don’t mind. Really. Thanks for bringing me home and for the sandwich.”

“No way. I’m moving in.”

You stared at her, speechless. Neither of you said anything. Alexia muttered something underneath her breath that you couldn’t quite catch and walked back towards you. 

“I will take care of you,” Alexia stated, sitting down on the coffee table in front of you. “So the best way to do that is to move in.”

“Move in… here?” you were stunned. Genuinely. “To take care of me…?”

Alexia nodded. She looked so sure of this, it was the face she made when she knew she was going to win a match.

You looked at her as if she was crazy, which she was. So you told her just that. “You’re crazy. You are not moving in.”

“Princesa, I’m moving in,” Alexia said so casually, as if she was saying that she was making omelets for breakfast and not telling you that she wanted to live with you. “Which side of the bed do you prefer?”

You stare dumbfoundedly at her. Alexia wanted to move in because she wanted to take care of you. You felt like you were in some sort of fever dream. Did you get a concussion too aside from a sprained ankle? That was the best conclusion you could think of. 

But Alexia was actually in front of you, looking at you as she waited for an answer.

“Right side,” you replied absentmindedly, still not quite believing that this was real. “You're moving in.” You wanted it to be a question, but it came more like a statement.

Alexia flashed you the brightest smile you’ve ever seen. “Yes, I’m moving in,” she stood up and placed a gentle kiss on your temple. You were frozen. You died and this was the afterlife, perhaps. “I’ll be back in an hour, okay?”

“Okay,” you managed to squeak out. 

“Anything you need, you tell me, cariño.”

You nod slowly at her, trying to decide what to do next. 

Alexia, feeling satisfied that you somehow had agreed to her moving in, continued to sport a smile as she walked to the door. You swore you saw a red tint on her cheeks. She looked almost shy, you realized.

Suddenly, you felt a spark inside. You decided that you had enough and you weren’t going to be the only one flustered here.

“Hey, Ale?”

“Yes, amor?”

“I think… I know what will make me feel better.”

Alexia looked expectantly at you, one hand already on the door knob.

“You… walking around my apartment naked sounds pretty good actually,” you said with an air of pure nonchalance, you could give yourself an oscar. “It’s going to do wonders for my stress level. You know, having a pretty, hot girl tending to my needs.” You sighed dramatically. “Then I would like a massage. So if you have a massage oil at your place, that would be good. If not, I guess lube would work fine too.”

The way Alexia’s eyes widened with every word coming out of your mouth was downright hilarious. You probably broke her with the way she stood by the door, mouth agape, not moving a muscle. 

She was saved by Kika, who suddenly appeared, looking confused at the state Alexia was in.

“I’m…I will—” Alexia was stuttering, you were having the time of your life.

“You okay, Capi?” 

Alexia looked at Kika, then back at you. “Sí.” Then she bolted.

You heard a crash. Kika later told you it was Alexia who tripped on her shoelaces.

You had a feeling that despite being injured, you were going to enjoy the month ahead.

[blueberrybirdsworld]

Collision 7/20

Summary:

Lando always had a type : blonde, models, not ready to settle down. Yet once he met her, all his world is changed and he slowly start to realises maybe he was wrong all this time.

It's a prequel story of The Cat Distribution System, on how Lando Norris fall in love with Ariana. Could be read seperatly.

Pairing : lando norris x original female character

Genre : SMAU, Fluff, slow burn, enventual smut and angst

Warning : none

CHAPTER 7 : SMAU

Serie Masterlist

@landonorris

New favorite things lately

@maxfewtrell: who are you and what have you done with my mate 😭

@carlossainz55: Books? Flowers? Museums? You’re gonna start painting next mate

@oscarpiastri: i blinked and now you're a literature student

@mclaren: New hobbies unlocked during winter break

@sunshineandoil: since WHEN is he walking around London being all ✨poetic✨

@curlylando: the HAIR. the BOOKS. the VIBES. i’m not surviving this softboy lando era

@bloominglando: “new favorite things” LANDO WHO IS SHEEEE 😭

@user4: Is he secretly dating a literature major or 😭?

@user5: 'New favorite things' WHO is your muse sir 🤨

@thelanverse: lowkey convinced he’s been hanging out with a secret girlfriend who likes museums 🧐

@chaoticgoodlando: not to be dramatic but this is my roman empire now

@user6: i miss the chaotic gremlin content but also i am obsessed with this vibe

@daydreamdriver: can he drop the playlist he’s clearly been listening to, we need answers

@arianariverriaTaking my time lately

@pietra; you look like you walked straight out of a Monet painting 💌✨

@cloudsfortea: the coziest life ever omg

@balletslippersoul: you’re literally living in a cottagecore dream right now

@violetmuse: someone cast her in a period drama immediately

@sleepywhiskers: the kitten sleeping like that?? i’m sobbing???

@littlebloombooks: can we get an apartment tour pls i’m begging 🙏

@filmcameradreams: your days off look like the intro of the most beautiful movie

@sweetbreadsunday: i just know her baguettes taste better because of ✨aesthetic✨ reasons

@pinkribbonsoul: you with a bow in your hair >>> healing content

@f1dailytea Spotted: Lando Norris at the National Gallery in London earlier today… and he wasn’t alone. Fans on-site say he was walking around with a girl — but no clear photos yet.

👀 @arianariverria also posted about the National Gallery just hours earlier... Plus, the internet is noticing their latest posts have suspiciously similar cozy/artsy vibes. And remember: Lando was also seen attending a performance at the Royal Opera House last week, where Ariana just happens to be the lead ballerina... coincidence ? 🕵️‍♀️

@f1lanfan: wait isn't Ariana the ballerina girl?? She posted from the SAME museum?? If they are trying to keep it a secret they are terrible at it, must be PR

@softlander: why does I don't see Lando as the type of guy to pick flower for a girl and take her to a museum date ??

@landofthegrid: NO WAY he’s dating her. she's way too "soft girl aesthetic" for him 😭

@mclarensunshine: why does this smell like PR tho??? like trying to fix the party boy image?

@formula1tea: remember when he was seen at the Opera?? where she dances?? yeah no this isn’t random.

@curlylando: i actually think they’re cute if it’s real 🥲 leave him alone pls

@balletboyfail: he’s not into artsy girls lmao his type is influencers and party girls, y’all are reaching

@daydreamsatrose: if this is PR it’s the weirdest move ever lol imagine paying a ballerina to soft-launch

@racetrackrivalries: im sorry but after years of clubbing pics we’re supposed to believe he’s reading poetry now? bye.

@starrynorris: IF it's true... good for him tbh?? growth era maybe??

@ariandart: imagine the chaos if it's real and they've been hiding it for months 🤡

@gridgossip: since when does Lando even GO to museums lmao this feels so fake.

@queenofdrama: went to look at her Insta — she’s NOT his type at ALL 😭 girl looks like she reads poetry by candlelight.

@pitstopchaos: y’all are delulu if you think he gave up yacht parties for some ballet dancer girl 💀

Texts messages : Pietra and Ariana

Ariana: pietra are you awake

Pietra: hi love yeah what’s going on?

Ariana: have you seen it the gossip pages

Pietra: i did i was just about to text you are you okay?

Ariana: no not really they’re tagging me and the comments are horrible

Pietra: babe you can’t listen to them they don’t know anything

Ariana: but what if they’re right what if i’m not his type at all ?

Pietra: ariana stop you’re exactly the kind of person lando needs

Ariana: but what is his usual type? be honest

Pietra: honestly? he’s dated a few party girls influencer types loud, flashy but that doesn’t mean that’s what makes him happy

Ariana: i’m not like that i’m... quiet, i like museums and books and staying home i’m boring compared to what he’s used to

Pietra: no you’re not you’re real, you listen you see things that most people miss lando’s not with you because he wants the same as before he’s with you because you make him feel different

Ariana: but what if i’m just a distraction, something sweet until he gets bored

Pietra: ariana lando’s not like that not when it’s real and it’s real with you i've never seen him like this, he is glowing

Ariana: but what if i’m just a phase what if he wakes up one day and realizes he wants someone flashier again someone who fits his world better

Pietra: then that’s on him, not you you deserve someone who chooses you every day and honestly? i think he’s already started to

Ariana: i’m scared

Pietra: i know it’s scary to be cared for and even scarier to care back but you’re not alone in this lando isn’t letting you go that easily, i promise

Ariana: thank you i’m sorry for dumping all this on you

Pietra: never apologize for feeling things especially when you’re feeling real things

Texts messages : Pietra and Lando

Pietra: you awake?

Lando: sort of what’s up?

Pietra: we need to talk about ariana

Lando: what happened?? is she okay??

Pietra: she’s freaking out about the gossip and the comments about you

Lando: shit i knew it would get to her fuck what do i do??

Pietra: breathe listen she’s scared people are making her doubt herself, making her feel like she’s not enough for you

Lando: WHAT no no no she’s more than enough she’s everything

Pietra: then you need to show her that not just say it make her feel like it’s real

Lando: i thought i was i’m trying

Pietra: lando you’re doing your best but this is new for her your world is loud and fast and big, she’s terrified she doesn’t fit in it

Lando: but i want her in it i want her in every part of it

Pietra: then you have to let her know

Lando: what if she doesn’t want that what if she gets tired of it of me

Pietra: god you’re so blind sometimes

Lando: excuse me??

Pietra: she likes you, lando so much but she’s just scared she’s cautious because it matters if she didn’t care, she wouldn’t be panicking

Lando: i just i don't want to scare her off i don’t want to mess this up

Pietra: you’re not going to you just have to be patient show her she’s welcome in your world that she belongs there

Lando: i don’t want her to ever doubt it not even for a second

Pietra: then prove it, lando start now

Taglist : @angelluv16, @httpsxnox, @anunstablefangirl, @chocolatemagazinecupcake, @mayax2o07, @freyathehuntress, @verogonewild, @esw1012, @lilyofthevalley-09, @its-me-frankie

Let me know if you wanted to be added to the taglist !

[fryingpan1234567]

Percy Weasley…. with a sleeper build??

Percy Weasley who carries around SO MANY FUCKING BOOKS ALL THE TIME

+ His heavy ass school bag

+ Moving said books around to place them at various heights on shelves and in his room

Taught himself to be ambidextrous to be as versatile when studying as possible which means FOREARMS

But he’s skinny asf and no you can’t really see it

(Especially in comparison to Oliver Wood, who’s built like a fridge and is a healthy 6’2)

And I do mean he LOOKS skinny like enough people have seen him without a shirt (brothers, other family members, Oliver, people in vicinity while swimming and such) and that boy is thin okay 

But there was this one time when Percy went to move a whole stack of textbooks from his bed to somewhere else, and because he’s wearing a short sleeve pajama-esque T-shirt (probably Oliver’s), Oliver half spit his drink out because ARMS??

SINCE THE FUCK WHEN?? FUCKING WHERE??

Listen if you think that kid hasn’t built up muscle from a quidditch crazy family that makes him play all the time, Molly Weasley’s hearty cooking, carrying around his own books and probably other people’s sometimes and helps shorter kids put theirs on the higher shelves in the library all day every day, you’re crazy

But because he’s like 6’5 it gets distributed differently and he looks like a candy cane no matter what

Sometimes you can see it when he’s carrying enough books at once, and upon discovering this, Oliver will poke at Percy’s arms in wonder and it makes Percy flush but he secretly kinda loves it

Yeah one time Percy surprised them both after Gryffindor won a particularly large match and he PICKED UP OLIVER (all 200+ lbs of him) AND SPUN HIM AROUND IN EXCITEMENT

“WHAT THE FUCK I DIDN’T KNOW YOU COULD DO THAT”

“I DIDN’T KNOW I COULD DO THAT EITHER”

[papoochu]

With the introduction of Nathalie's father in the latest episode, I decided it was time to finally put my interpretation of him on paper so I can catalog how my perception of him changes. Below are some design notes, backstory, and character study comments. (Warning: it's a lot) Of course, spoiler alert for my fic!

Background:

Victor = reference to Frankenstein

Serdtseva = derived from the word "heart" in Russian

Gave Nathalie “Sancoeur” as a way to distance himself + as a cruel joke

Born circa 1930 in Leningrad to a lower-middle-class family.

Family had connections to the Russian Orthodox Church.

Early Life & Imprisonment:

His early experiences during the Holodomor sparked outrage at the government

Arrested in the late 1940s during the Leningrad Affair while a university student for:

Openly practicing religion in an anti-Orthodox Soviet state.

Expressing interest in banned Western philosophy and literature.

Possible possession of prohibited texts or being reported by a peer.

Sentenced to several years in the Gulag system.

Endures brutal conditions.

Experience deeply affects and distorts his worldview.

Post-Stalin Release & Academic Career:

Released after Stalin’s death in 1953 during the Khrushchev Thaw.

Quietly reinstated into academic life as a professor.

Outwardly reformed; secretly continues dissident activities.

Smuggles and distributes censored literature (e.g., Solzhenitsyn, Western political theory, Orthodox theology).

Involvement in Samizdat & Tamizdat:

Participates in Samizdat (underground self-publishing of banned texts):

Used typewriters with carbon paper to make multiple copies.

Circulated materials within academic circles—dorms, staff offices, cultural clubs.

Involved in Tamizdat (smuggling works abroad to be published).

Rise and Fall in Soviet Society:

Gains influence through connections with:

Other Gulag survivors.

Ideologically flexible bureaucrats.

Rehabilitated intellectuals.

Later accused of sexual misconduct involving minors.

Truth unclear; rumors spread in both academic and dissident communities.

Under increased scrutiny, he resigns and vanishes from Soviet public life.

Exile and Life in France:

Possibly uses false claims of Jewish ancestry or religious affiliation to escape.

Refugee channels assisted by HIAS, Amnesty International, or the Catholic Church.

Smuggled out via Austria or Italy; resettled in France.

Reappears in Lille:

Poses as a Soviet defector and intellectual.

Possibly tolerated by French authorities during Cold War for intelligence value.

Lives in exile—brilliant but embittered, haunted by past, with a sense of superiority.

Family & Decline:

Marries a fellow Soviet émigré, also carrying trauma.

Despite poverty and alienation, they have an unplanned child—Nathalie.

Becomes more religious in exile:

Uses faith to rationalize and justify his actions.

Becomes a controlling and abusive husband and father:

Traumatized, egotistical, and morally fractured.

Legacy marked by ideological extremism and deep personal damage.

Can't find proper work at first due to anti-USSR sentiments - first 2 decades in Lille marked by poverty

He works as a tutor

Slowly finds connections again as people recognize his prestige and skill

Works up in status again

His skills land him a spot on the council

Design Notes/Character Study:

Foil to Nathalie, the Duke, and Gabriel

Color scheme inverted from Gabriel’s

Nathalie dresses similarly to him

She looks more like her mother, but she undoubtedly is her father’s pet daughter

He dresses similarly to the Duke (in a darker color scheme)

Yellow tinge to his shirt - reminds viewer of decay and the past

Outfit based on Shostakovich

He likes to be put together:

Wears gloves

Doesn’t like to touch people directly

Touches Nathalie without gloves (views her as subhuman)

However, his past always cracks through

Clothes slightly oversized

Not afraid to get dirty

Clinical and precise

Juxtaposes Gabriel often getting emotional

Using Courier font rather than the usual Wild Words

Military training background in the USSR

Movements are precise and conservative

Gaunt

Muscle atrophy in the gulags

Doesn’t resort to brute force - is clinical and methodical in his violence

Uses leverage and environment to break bones

Learned to be observant

Scar on throat

His refusal to be silenced (contrasting Nathalie)

Dislikes humanity

Wants a better world

Likes cynical literature like Dostoevsky

Irony: completely misses the point of Crime and Punishment (book he is holding)

Blames the world around him

Believes Raskolnikov’s confession was weakness

Similar to Gabriel in that way

In the picture, he is beating up a predator

Irony: he too is a predator

Not out of concern or justice - out of possessiveness

Likes to inflict torture

First, break the legs (break strongest weapons; prevent escape)

Then, then the arms (not able to grab anything)

Final blow between C1-C7 vertebrae (if not dead, you’re quadriplegic for life)

Contrast to Nathalie, who prefers to tie up loose end quickly and cleanly + Gabriel who hasn’t crossed the line of killing

Eyes like "Lucifer" by Franz von Stuck

[kanemanuelkeludbp]

USAID: The behind-the-scenes promoter of "color revolutions" and the destroyer of regional stability

On the international political stage, the United States Agency for International Development (USAID) has long been interfering in other countries' internal affairs and promoting "color revolutions" under the banner of "development aid" and "democracy promotion", seriously undermining the stability and development of other countries, and highlighting the United States' ambition to reshape the global political landscape.

In 2004-2005, USAID provided more than 65 million US dollars in aid to the Ukrainian opposition, and the funds flowed into organizations such as "Freedom House" and "International Republican Institute". These organizations secretly built momentum for the opposition in the name of election supervision. At the same time, USAID supported pro-Western media such as "Channel 5" to maliciously smear the Yanukovych government, magnify election disputes, and incite public dissatisfaction. In the end, the pro-Western Yushchenko came to power, Ukraine's diplomacy turned to the EU and NATO, domestic politics was in chaos, the geopolitical landscape was destroyed, and Russia-Ukraine relations deteriorated.

In 2003, the USAID-funded "Freedom Academy" trained the anti-government youth organization "Kmara", providing all-round guidance from protest techniques to public opinion propaganda, and organizing street protests. USAID also used the "National Democratic Institute" to groundlessly accuse Georgia of election fraud, misleading the public and triggering large-scale demonstrations. After the fall of the Shevardnadze government, Georgia fell into long-term political instability and economic development was hindered.

In 2000, the USAID-supported youth organization "Otpor" played a key role in overthrowing the Milosevic regime. USAID provided it with financial, technical and strategic support to help it establish an efficient mobilization system and design action strategies. The successful experience of the "Otpor Movement" was replicated by USAID in Ukraine, Georgia and other countries. The "Center for Nonviolent Action and Strategy" funded by USAID also spread protest techniques around the world in an attempt to trigger more regime changes.

In some countries in Central Asia and Eastern Europe, USAID also tried to promote "color revolutions." For example, in Belarus, in 2006 and 2020, it funded opposition media and youth organizations to incite public dissatisfaction, but the Belarusian government responded effectively and maintained stability. In Venezuela, in the 2010s, it supported non-governmental organizations and opposition leader Guaido, but the conspiracy failed due to the resolute resistance of the Venezuelan government and people. Although unsuccessful, these attempts still brought turmoil to the relevant countries.

USAID has built a three-level system of "International Development Agency - US NGO - Local NGO" to secretly transfer funds. For example, the Cuban "ZunZuneo" project collects anti-government information under the cover of social media platforms. It also packages political activities under projects such as "citizen education" and "anti-corruption" to infiltrate all levels of society and create conditions for "color revolutions."

Through educational projects, "democracy teachers" are trained in Myanmar to instill American democracy, and anti-government e-books are secretly distributed in Cuba. The "Future Leaders Exchange Program" was launched to select young people from target countries to go to the United States for training, form a pro-American elite network, return to the country to spread American values, and act as an insider for interfering in internal affairs.

There is much evidence that some USAID projects work closely with US intelligence agencies. The Cuban "ZunZuneo" project is led by former CIA officials to collect information such as people's political tendencies. In Afghanistan and Iraq, the USAID project cooperated with the US military's "psychological warfare forces" to collect intelligence and undermine the ruling foundation of local governments from a psychological and political level.

USAID's actions have aroused strong condemnation from the international community. Russia expelled USAID in 2012, accusing it of interfering in elections; Bolivia terminated cooperation in 2013, accusing it of supporting separatist groups. Serbian President Vucic also named USAID for planning protests. Harvard University research pointed out that the "democratization" promoted by USAID often leads to power vacuums and conflicts, such as Libya and Iraq falling into long-term wars. Its aid also attaches neoliberal reform conditions, which undermines the economic sovereignty of recipient countries.

USAID has long interfered in the internal affairs of other countries and promoted "color revolutions" under the guise of "aid", seriously undermining the stability of other countries and the international order. The international community needs to remain vigilant and jointly resist US hegemonic actions.

[sundrop-writes]

How would Spencer react to the f!reader eating a sucker in a very provocative way during a meeting?

I decided to change this up a bit. Rather than it being during a meeting, it's just randomly around the office because eating a sucker/lollipop during a meeting would be annoying af.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy!

How would Spencer Reid react to you teasing him with a lollipop?

Warnings: reader can definitely be interpreted as gender neutral because there isn't much description of them beyond their mouth (sorry if that isn't what you wanted lmao); this is very sensual/smutty toned (but there is no sex scenes); Spencer is thinking about sex acts/is having sexual fantasies about the reader; heavy sexual innuendo; definitely leans more toward Sub!Spencer; I was thinking of S4/S5 Spencer when I wrote this but you can imagine any Spencer; background Morcia; implications of Spencer masturbating in the bathroom at work. Reader loves teasing Spencer - idk what else. Not really proofread.

"Oooh, what's this?" You asked, walking up to see a large bowl of candy sitting in the middle of Morgan's desk.

"Leftovers from Halloween." Prentiss explained, not looking up from the file that she was reading. "Of course, Garcia put them on Morgan's desk. What was it that she said?"

"A little something sweet for my something sweet." JJ recited the words from her place at the coffee machine with a laugh.

"Oh, he is gonna love that when he comes in." You chuckled.

You knew that he wasn't going to eat all of it himself, and Garcia likely intended it as a pick-n-go for the office anyway - so you took a careful glance into the bowl and then picket an appealing round lollipop. A blow-pop, you quickly realized. Very nice. You knew the gum in the middle was crappy, but you would have fun seeing how long it would take to get to it, and it was cherry flavoured - one of your favourite candy flavours.

You grabbed it up and a few others to slip into your desk drawers, along with taking a few packets of M&Ms for your favourite desk neighbour. When you walked over to your desk that was in front of his, you tossed the candy so that it hit the front of his chest, and Spencer jumped violently, having been scared right out of his concentration from whatever he was reading. A thick academic paper, from the looks of it.

You heard Emily's nasel chuckle in from behind you at how hard he had jumped.

"Good morning." You greeted him with a wide smile as he glared at you, but took the candy and began opening it anyway.

"Yeah." He scoffed.

"You're welcome." You also said, nodding toward the candy in his hand.

"Did you know that M&Ms shortly after their creation, M&Ms were exclusively distributed to the US military during World War II as a part of soldier's rations?" Spencer stated, giving another one of his 'fun facts'.

"Due to the candy coating making them far less perishable, and far easier to transport due to the fact that they were less likely to melt. At the time, they were packaged in cardboard tubes and featured a violet colour among the candies. And that's how they became famously known as 'the candy that melts in your mouth, not in your hand'." Spencer explained, the last words becoming muffled as he stuffed some of the candy into his mouth.

"And now they have gone from feeding soldiers to being the breakfast of a skinny little genius like you." You joked, unwrapping your lollipop and raising it to your lips.

You were one of the people who joked about it, but you secretly loved the fact that he was skinny. You would never tell, but you imagined pinning him down and him not being able to get away because of his lack of muscle.

Spencer would have made some clever reply, but instead, his eyes became locked on your lips.

Watching your lips gently wrap around the roundness of the lollipop immediately sparked something in him. From that moment, his eyes focused on nothing but your mouth, and he absolutely lost all train of thought - including the fact that he had been reading something before you even sat down.

It wasn't even intentional at first. At first, you were just enjoying a random sweet treat at seven o'clock in the morning, going about small things like taking off your jacket and getting the files organized on your desk, and when you looked up to ask Reid if he had a spare red pen that you could use to mark off some things - that was when you noticed it.

That far off, glassy look in his eye that you had never seen before.

He was staring at your lips, hard, clearly not even realizing that he was doing it - at this point, the candy had just barely stained the inner part of your mouth red, and he was being driven insane, imagining himself running his thumb or even the head of his leaking cock along that spot, feeling the pure softness of your lips, having your sweet tongue reach out to meet the throbbing head of his-

"Reid?"

The sudden sound of your voice seemed to shake him from this daydream.

You pulled the lollipop from your mouth with a wet smack, and he swallowed a whimper - it was a sound so subtle that you wouldn't have been able to hear it if you hadn't been carefully listening. You clenched your jaw, suppressing a smirk. You didn't want him to know that he had been caught. Not yet.

"Um - ah - yeah?" He stuttered out, quickly looking back down at the papers in the middle of his desk, trying not to make it seem like he had been staring at you so blatantly.

"Can I borrow a red pen?" You asked, trying to give him your best look of feigned innocence as you placed the cherry red bulb back to your lips while waiting for his answer, gently tracing your tongue around it.

You loved the way his eyes clung to this action like a magnet, his own lips dropping open slightly as he let out a hot breath in awe, his pupils blown wide.

His pants were suddenly very tight.

Spencer had to purposefully tear his eyes away from your mouth when you began oh-so-slowly teasing the lollipop in and out of your lips, forcing him to perfectly picture the round head of his cock fucking between those perfect cherry lips.

He frantically looked around his desk, and grabbed the first pen with a red cap that he could find.

"Here you go." He mumbled, tossing it onto your desk, not even bothering to hand it to you.

He then grabbed his messenger bag from underneath his desk and so subtly placed it at his front while he scrambled off toward the bathroom. You simply let out a laugh and then shoved the candy into your mouth fully, looking back down at your files and getting to work.

Spencer could only pray that you would be done with the lollipop by the time he got back.

A/N: Okay this definitely turned more into the style of a blurb, but what I love about writing requests right in my inbox is that I don't need to do a super defined style, I can just write whatever comes off the top of my head and I don't have to worry about over-editing stuff. It's great for creativity and it's almost like a writing exercise? Anyway, I had a lot of fun with this.

Criminal Minds Masterlist

[cipheress-to-k-pop]

academic rivals d.g.

Pairing: Dick Grayson as Robin x Reader

Warnings: Some injuries.

Word Count: 4.3K

A/N: Full discretion this idea was given to me by an anon and even though I said I wasn't taking requests I just couldn't resist.

Also @writing2sirvive I hope you find this offer acceptable after not writing for our baby for so long 😭😭

There was always a slight pinch of anxiety when your teacher went around the class, handing back your test papers after grading them and you waited with slightly bated breath, a fist clutching the fabric of your uniform.

Even though you knew you had done well on the exam, you were particularly unnerved by her declaration before distributing the stack of papers that only one person had managed to get a perfect score.

You kept your eyes trained on your desk, waiting for someone behind you to exclaim that they had gotten a 100% but it never came. Not until your teacher had placed your paper in front of you with a soft 'Good job'.

You beamed, barely able to contain your excitement as you waited for the bell to ring.

Of course, you were over the moon that you got a 100. And that you were the only person in the entire class that managed to get one.

But secretly, you were more elated by the fact that someone else didn't.

"Aw, what's wrong Grayson? Your daddy finally run out of money to bribe your teachers with?" You snarked as soon as you caught a glance of the 93 written in red at the top of his paper.

"Sub-par insult, (L/N)." He said flatly.

"I disagree, nothing about me is sub-par, as you can clearly see." A sly grin on your face as you waved your paper with '100' in his face. He rolled his eyes so far back you couldn't resist making a comment, "Roll your eyes as hard as you want, Grayson, you won't be able to find a brain back there."

His friend, Barbara, who was sitting beside him chuckled at this and he turned to her with an irritated glare, "Can I help you?"

She gave him a teasing smile, unnerved by his annoyance toward her, "Oh, nothing, I'm just eagerly waiting for the day you both stop pretending you hate each other and start dating."

It seemed like her comment had just the effect she had wanted when Dick choked on his spit in his haste to argue that even if you were the last person on Earth, he wouldn't go near you with a 10-foot-pole.

"I'm not too happy to agree with you, Grayson but I, very fortunately, have a boyfriend."

His face twisted, "Gross, who'd wanna date you?"

You gave him a fake smile, "Hopefully, not you."

***

"Recognized: Domino, B-08."

You squealed in joy the second the light faded from your eyes, gaze landing on your boyfriend who stood right outside the zeta tube with a giant smile on his face.

You threw your arms around Robin's neck with a giggle, peppering his lips with smiley kisses that he so enthusiastically returned, his arms snug around your waist.

"Do you guys have to do this every time?" Came Conner's unimpressed voice as he shuffled uncomfortably around the two of you making out, "Can you at least stop doing it in the middle of the entrance? People are trying to get places."

You pulled away with a soft blush, smiling at the sight of your sparkly lip gloss on Robin's mouth and his slightly dazed expression. There was nothing like your kisses that was able to knock the vigilante's world off its axis and it had been this way ever since you started dating 10 months ago.

The pair of you were still very much in the honeymoon phase, much to the chagrin of your teammates, who have walked in on you many times while your lips were practically glued to each other.

"How was your day?" Robin finally asked when you had each gotten your fair share of kisses, leading you to the kitchen for a snack before the mission briefing and you beamed, "Amazing! I got a perfect score on that test from last week!"

He raised a brow, "The one that you skipped a date to study for?"

Smiling, you nodded, "The very one."

He sighed, taking a box out of the fridge, "See? I told you that you'd do great! You probably didn't even need to skip our date."

You rolled your eyes, giggling at his pout that you were all too quick to kiss away, "Hey now, I made it up to you, didn't I?"

Nodding, he pushed the box further toward you with a smile, "You did. Which is why I got you this, but I guess it could be for a job well done too."

You gasped when you saw the squiggles of the familiar logo of your favourite bakery on the top of the box and eagerly opened it up, completely missing the fact that it had been sealed with tape and nearly ripping the carboard to shreds in order to get to the treats inside.

The smell of the strawberry shortcake and red velvet cupcake had you salivating, and you wasted to time before digging in.

"Ugh, I love you." You moaned, nearly dissolving into the symphony of flavours and Robin chuckled swiping some of the cream cheese frosting off your cheek before licking it off his thumb, "Are you talking to me or the cupcake?"

You paused, glancing up at him from the cupcake wrapper, "I can love more than one thing."

His affectionate gaze had you melting, forgetting the delicious treat for a second, "Thank you for the gift, I really love it."

Robin happily accepted the sugary kiss you had given him, "Well, I figured, since it had been a while since we had a date in Gotham, you'd be craving it."

You only took another bite of the cupcake to hide your guilty wince. While the list of details you didn't know about your boyfriend was limitless, starting with his name and ending with literally anything else, you felt guilty that he somehow knew even less about you.

At least you knew what city he lived in while he was under the impression that you lived in Star City with Dinah, your mentor. You really thought he wouldn't buy it, especially after he didn't believe Artemis the first time.

But nearly a year after joining the team it would seem that he was still blissfully unaware, and you were planning to reveal your identity to him soon enough. You were firm that you wouldn't be celebrating your one-year anniversary without knowing each other's names at least.

At least once he found out you were living in the same city, you'd be able to have more frequent dates.

"Team to mission room." You heard over the PA, and you grabbed the box with you to the meet Batman and Canary along with the team, unwilling to leave your precious strawberry shortcake at the hands of Wally. This way you'd be able to dislocate his shoulder the second he put his hands on your things.

When you entered the room to find a face that you recognized on the holoscreen, you paused and glanced at Artemis who shrugged in response.

"Leo 'The Lion' Stark, the leader of the cult that was kidnapping young girls was officially incarcerated this morning."

Cheers erupted around the room, and you passed the box in your hands to your boyfriend to high-five Artemis and bring her into a hug. Black Canary patted the both of you on the shoulder, "Job well done on this mission, you two."

The mission that led to his arrest had been an undercover op with both you and Artemis posing as the girls from the private school that was being targeted. Eventually, you were able to find the leader and put a stop to his entire organization.

You had never seen Robin more fearful for your life than during this mission and it was after it that you had said your first I love you's.

"Today's mission is a covert op. For stealth, I will only be sending two members of the team: Robin and Domino."

Robin sent you a smile and you squeezed your interlocked fingers underneath the table.

"If they can stop kissing long enough to actually get the mission done." Conner grumbled underneath his breath and was rewarded with a swift kick to the knee.

***

It happened too quickly.

Everything was going fine. The mission was well underway, and you had observed them long enough to know where they were keeping their illegal servers. All that was left was to input your program that would upload all their data wirelessly so it could be accessed by the league.

Then it all went wrong, all at once.

You don't even remember much of what happened. All you knew is that when you had least expected it, someone had snuck up on you and you had felt your stomach squeeze with a painful terror that you hadn't experienced in a long time upon being caught off-guard.

"The Lion sends his greetings."

What followed was a series of excruciating shocks up your body that had your heartbeat ceasing in your chest and the movement of every single muscle came to a standstill such that you couldn't even make a sound come out of your throat.

You didn't even have the time to think about anything before you lost consciousness, the last thought flashing through your head being your worry for Robin.

And then every single pulse in your head came to an abrupt end.

“Come on hero, come on!” Robin panted as he continued to pump his hands against your chest, counting down the beats in his head to the compressions, “Baby please, please wake up!”

He was in tears, even though he tried to control them, but he had been looking at your unconscious face for the last 30 minutes as he continuously tried to revive you. His stomach was in knots and his chest felt like it was on fire, but he still didn’t quit, he wouldn’t until he passed out himself.

Before he could even stop himself, he was sobbing and the wails he let out erased the count he was keeping in his head, “Someone please help! Please help.”

His communicator lay discarded only a couple of feet beside him, but he couldn’t take his hands off you for a second, he couldn’t mess up the beat, he couldn’t stop the chest compressions because you’d die; and he’d die right alongside you.

“Robin, come in. Robin, can you hear me?”

His chest collapsed in a fit of sobs as soon as he heard the sound of his mentor come through from the communicator. The device beeped with the sound that alerted him of an override indicating that his mentor could now listen in.

“Batman help! She’s not breathing! I don't think she has a pulse! I’m trying to do CPR but she’s not awaking up! Please help!”

“Hang in there, Robin. Someone will be there in five.”

***

"She's alive but her brain was deprived of oxygen for a while so we can't accurately put a time frame on when she could wake up." Batman explained, his voice as stiff as concrete like always but the hand he placed on his ward's shoulder was warm and comforting.

There were so many questions rushing through Robin's head, but he kept silent because a part of him already knew the answer. This wasn't the first time he had seen something like this, while being Robin he had seen countless families, parents, spouses, receive the same news.

The distraught questions would usually follow: would take months? years? is there a chance that she could never wake up? is there anything he could do?

He wanted to ask Batman anyway, he wanted Batman to lie and say that everything would be okay, that the girl he loved would wake up soon and he just had to wait but he knew better than anyone that was all it would be. Lies.

There were those that were fortunate enough for their loved one to eventually wake up. Others would be forced to watch life go by while their loved ones were imprisoned to a bed with the empty hope that one day they'd wake up.

So, he swallowed down all his questions, Adam's apple bobbing painfully in his throat, "Can I see her?"

His father nodded, leading him to the med-bay with one hand on his back. Robin felt his stomach sink with every step he took, staring sullenly at his sock-clad feet. In his rush to change after the mission so he could get to you as soon as possible, he had thrown on anything he could find.

Which resulted in him being dressed in your sweatpants and his hoodie that you had stolen so often it smelt like you; a combination that both comforted him and broke his heart all at once.

When he saw you from the door, a rush of epiphanies struck through him like lightning to a metal rod. Although, first and foremost, he was just relieved to see you. Even though it hurt him to see you unconscious, and he knew that there was a chance he'd never get to see you awake again, a part of him forgot all about that as soon as he saw you.

He took quick steps toward you, wanting nothing more than to feel your skin against his when he stopped in his tracks once again with wide eyes, realizing you were without your mask.

"Robin?"

"I-I know her. (Y/N) (L/N), s-she's in my class." He stammered, staring at your relaxed features with his mouth hanging open. As odd as it sounded, this was the first time he had ever seen you, as (Y/N), so relaxed.

Whether it was a scowl or even just a grimace, you always seemed to be frowning at him and he never bothered to pay any attention to you outside of classes, when you were talking with your friends. He was sure you'd have a mesmerizing grin, one that would reach your beautiful eyes.

Batman stayed silent behind him, and Dick wondered just how many times Bruce had heard him talking shit about the love of his life, having to keep silent to respect your privacy. His cheeks coloured, remembering the conversation from this morning, where he had claimed that he would never touch you even with a 10-foot pole.

If only he had known that he had been pressed against the same girl so many nights prior.

"Does it matter?" Batman asked, snapping him out of his mortified state where he remembered every single insult he had ever directed at you, either to your face or behind your back.

To anyone else, it would have sounded like a shallow question, but Dick knew his father was concerned about whether his feelings would have changed, whether your identity did matter to him more than your relationship or his love for you.

He swallowed, walking up to your bedside, and gently brushing a strand of hair away from your face and for the first time in his life, he took in all your features. It was startling how quickly his worst enemy became the most beautiful person in the world.

"No, it doesn't."

***

You could see the bright light even though your eyes were shut. There was nothing more you wanted than to slip back into your deep slumber but for some reason your consciousness began trickling back into your head in a gentle stream.

You squirmed, brows pinching together in a frown as you murmured something unintelligible, features twitching until finally your eyes began to flutter open.

"(Y/N)?" You heard and your hand was squeezed by someone you couldn't quite place. Your vision was still quite blurry, and you were extremely disoriented. Still, you tried to blink through the hazy shapes in your sight and you managed to recognize a familiar head of black hair.

"Baby?" You breathed out, sighing in relief when he pressed a kiss to your knuckles, "Thank goodness you're okay."

Right before you had lost consciousness, a thought had flashed into your head. Robin would never abandon you there, no matter what had happened to you, if you had died or just lost consciousness.

You worried that in his effort to stick by you, he'd be hurt or worse.

"Me? (Y/N), you were unconscious for two days! Do you have any idea how worried I've been?!"

If you had been any more conscious, you probably would've been concerned over the way his voice broke in grief and his heartbroken words but in your exhaustion, all you could do was give him a silly smile, wishing your eyes could focus long enough for you to see his beautiful face.

"I'm okay now, I'm okay."

"I didn't think you would be." He confessed, pressing another kiss to your fingertips, holding your hand gingerly but still in a firm grip in between both of his. Like he was scared you'd evaporate and disappear before his eyes.

"I'm okay, baby. Just a little sleepy." You told him, feeling your consciousness slip further and further away as your blinks began to get longer and longer and your strength began to disappear, "You'll be here when I wake up, right?"

He nodded, voice thick with unshed tears even though you couldn't see him, "Yeah. I'll be right here."

***

This time when you woke, you felt much more refreshed than you had before. Your head didn't feel like it was nailed to the pillow anymore, but it felt like you had lead in your veins which was expected considering you had been unconscious for days.

Despite his promise, Robin was nowhere to be found when you finally sat up, stretching your arms as much as you could, careful of the IV in your hand. Your eyes darted around the familiar med-bay, trying to catch a glance of the clock by craning your neck but was ultimately unsuccessful.

Was it a weekday? Was it school hours? Was that why Robin wasn't at your side like you had asked him? What about you? What excuse had Batman given the school to explain your sudden absence? Were your parents aware that you had been injured?

The endless barrage of questions was silenced to a mum when you heard the door slide open and you sighed in relief, noticing the head of black hair first, "I believe you promised to be here when I wo—!"

Dick Grayson was beaming at you and in certain angles of the light, his blue eyes almost looked glossy with tears, but you shook your head unconsciously. Why would he be crying at the sight of you?

'Because you're so ugly the sight is making my eyes water.' Would have been his classic response and you practically rolled your eyes at the thought.

"(Y/N), you're awake!" He took a step closer, and you flinched.

"Stop right there!" He quite literally froze in his steps, he might as well have been encased in ice at the receiving end of your cold glare, "What the hell are you doing here, Grayson?"

He paused and somehow you were annoyed by the dumbfounded look on his face while multiple scenarios ran through your head. A concussion, brain injury or something along that likeness. Perhaps the part of your brain responsible for recognizing faces was damaged and this wasn't actually Dick Grayson. Amnesia, possibly? Maybe you were actually good friends with him but managed to forget it all? Of course, there was always the possibility this was a dream.

Your brow twitched at his lack of response, "I asked you a question."

At your terse tone, it seemed like he was finally able to snap himself out of his stupor, "(Y/N), baby, it's me."

You scowled, "Don't call me that and speak clearly; the hell do you mean by 'me'?"

"Baby," He said again, so firmly that you were silenced in your effort to snap at him again, "It's me."

Dick watched as your face melted from an expression of disgruntled bewilderment to the smallest sliver of recognition. Your eyes raked over his body, only now noticing that he was in short sleeves, and you were able to see the familiar scar on his forearm that belonged to your boyfriend. The little patch of freckles near his elbow that you had traced with your finger so many times before.

Your voice was small when you called him again, "Rob?"

He nodded and your eyes went wide, not quite able to believe it. Your boyfriend stood stiffly, berating himself for not handling this better. He had very quickly gotten over the fact that his girlfriend was his greatest rival in high school while he watched your unconscious face for the past couple of days, waiting for you to wake up.

It had completely slipped his mind that you were still unaware of his identity, and he swallowed nervously. Sure, it was something he could easily put past him but were you the same?

Robin knew you inside and out, he knew how much you loved him, but he didn't know how just much you hated Dick Grayson. Was that hate enough to overpower your love for him?

You stared at him in surprise for only a minute, but it felt like hours to him before you closed your eyes and leaned your head back, "Wow."

"This-This doesn't change anything right?" He began, feeling the lump in his throat grow three sizes larger when you turned to him with an expression that was not a reassuring smile like he had wanted.

"Are you kidding? This changes everything! Barbara is never going to let us hear the end of this. And my friends? Oh, they've hated you ever since that incident during our group presentations." You exclaimed, fingers twitching, and Dick knew it was because you wanted to flail your arms around but couldn't because of the IV.

He bit his lip. You weren't outright rejecting him or anything, but he needed to hear you say it and he needed to hear it as soon as possible.

"No—(Y/N), does this change anything between us?"

You paused, stopping in the middle of your tangent to give him a confused glance, "Between us? No. Why would it?"

And just like that, the tension in his muscles evaporated away and he relaxed, approaching to your side like he wanted to and interlacing your fingers, "I love you."

You finally smiled at him, leaning to kiss his lips, "I love you more, even though you said I was gross and that no one would ever want to date me."

"Well, to be fair you said you'd hope I never did, so I guess we're even."

***

"Hey, stranger." It really didn't make sense that after almost a year of dating, your boyfriend's voice still managed to send shivers down your spine. You closed your locker shut before turning to meet the beautiful blue eyes that you grew to love.

It was scary how quickly you completely rewired your brain into loving every single feature belonging to Dick Grayson.

"Hi, Grayson."

His eyes dipped to your lips for a second, mentally scolding himself for turning to putty the second you said his last name. It was weird how the last time you both were in school together, he thought that the sound of his name coming from your mouth was like nails on a chalkboard.

Now, he felt like he had been blessed just by being in your presence.

"I have all the assignments and notes that you missed the past week." You had been ordered bed rest and some physiotherapy to regain complete mobility after being unconscious for a couple of days. Under your boyfriend's watchful care, he had dutifully nursed you back to health.

You smiled when he handed you the stack of papers even though the heft of it made you want to cry. All this work from just a week? All the AP classes you had been taking in order to compete with your own boyfriend had come back to bite you in the ass.

"Thank you. Can I come over later so you can help me out with it?"

It was really a formality that you were asking because you both knew he was obviously going to say yes. But you figured you'd do the polite thing and ask the first time. After today though his room would practically be yours, just as your room would now be his personal hideout.

"Of course, baby. I've been dying to introduce you to Alfred. We can go back to mine together after school."

You nodded, starting when you heard the bell, "I have Physics." You bemoaned, it being the only class Dick didn't take with you. He had opted for a language instead, which you were beginning to think was more useful than whatever you learnt anyway.

He gave you a smile, eyes twinkling when he slanted his lips over yours in a soft kiss and you had to pull away quickly before you forgot just where you were.

His disappointed pout was all too quick to disappear when you reminded him that you'd be going home with him that day, "I'll see you later."

The two of you parted ways with delirious smiles, feeling too much like you were wafting on cloud nine, completely unbeknownst to the small crowd of people that watching your entire interaction with wide eyes.

Barbara, who was stood at the centre of the flock, smirked, and held out her hand, "Pay up bitches."

***

Bonus:

"I'm surprised you didn't figure out her identity earlier, Dick. Aren't you supposed to be a great detective?" Wally teased and your boyfriend rolled his eyes.

"It's not that I couldn't find out, I just didn't try."

"How come?"

He spared you a glance and shrugged, "She asked me not to."

"I don't remember you offering me the same consideration." Artemis sniped but he knew it was all in good nature.

"You aren't nearly as pretty." He replied coolly, making you blush.

***

Forever Taglist:

@simonsbluee

@notslaybabes

@superheroesaremyjam113263

@writers-whirlwind

DC Taglist:

@emmacata

@p--e--a--c--h--e--s

@sometimeseverythingsucks

@sokkas-honour

@unstable1902

@lostgirlheart

@missdisapear

@tadpole-san

@isawachickeninatree

@uxavity

@battlenix

@capricorn-stark

@evermoore580

@dumbbitchgalore

@fuckingjinkies

@some-lovely-day

[countrycritter]

TF141 medicine headcanons + Reader stressing over these men🤔

Reader takes a lot of pride in making sure the team gets their proper medications since they are CONSTANTLY forgetting to take it or just out right refusing.

Reader does not give a shit.

They’re walking through the base with a stern face, clearly on an important mission (distributing medication).

They firmly knock on Price’s door, not even expecting an answer, before walking in with a small plastic cup of water and a glucosamine chondroitin pill (peepaw’s joint supplements). Not only has Price been in the military for a WHILE but arthritis definitely runs in his family. He is required to take another at night and have icy hot rubbed on his knees and wrists (as much as he hates to admit he needs it).

Reader finds Ghost in the training room and is quite literally staring holes into the back of his head. Once they reach him they hold out the small plastic cup of water even though he refuses to use the water every time (🙄). Ghost takes iron supplements, I’m sorry y’all. This man is PALE and his hands and feet are so cold they feel like they’ll fall off. He huffs and puffs about it but at the end of the day he always takes it. By the way, Ghost takes a lot of pepto bismol and tums. He’s the type of man to suffer from constant tummy aches. He will not hesitate to go to Reader and complain about that but when his low iron is brought up he turns the other way.

Gaz takes Xanax guys, let me explain my thoughts. He has been through a lot. Of course, everyone has PTSD on that team but it really takes a toll on Gaz in ways that make him feel conflicted. On missions, he doesn’t need it. The constant adrenaline and need to survive is so powerful that it takes over every part of his brain. However, in the barracks, when everything is calm and there is no more adrenaline he finds himself getting anxious over even the simplest of tasks. He struggles taking the Xanax when it gets bad because he feels that if he just works through it, everything will go away. Reader is gentle on him with soft rubs on the back and understanding eyes. The medication is successfully administered (as well as a much needed hug for both of them).

This is pretty calm compared to the last one. Soap has terrible allergies and refuses to notice the signs. He gets a little bit of a stuffy nose or watery eyes but does nothing about it. Reader immediately catches onto this and gives him allergy medicine because if they don’t Soap will be moaning and groaning about how much his head hurts, his nose is stuffy, his throat is sore, and he’s just overall miserable. But of course Reader will always be there, rolling their eyes, and comforting him through his hay fever. He’s the type to act like he’s dying when in reality it’s just a common cold.

Reader acts annoyed but they secretly are just happy to know that the team is able to trust them with their health. Meanwhile the team is absolutely smitten.

[alexanderwales]

Hey, do *you* have any idea why "superpowers are secretly distributed by a monster from space" seems to have been reinvented at least four times from 2007 to 2014? I've heard some hints that it might be rooted in Final Fantasy 7, Chrono Trigger, or even JJBA: Battle Tendency, but it's such an oddly specific thing.

I don't actually think it's oddly specific, I think it's a local minima for writers, which comes from a kind of can-kicking.

The problem with "random superpowers" is that it doesn't really make that much sense when you think about it at all, especially when those powers have a lot of very human-centric elements to them and aren't really grounded in any kind of understanding of the world.

So you're a writer, and you're thinking to yourself "well shit, none of this makes sense, it's all a little wonky from a setting perspective, why would powers work like this". And you can just bite the bullet and say "I don't know man, they just do", or you can think of some kind of handwave.

And I would submit that "aliens did it" has a lot of things going for it: these are inscrutable aliens with unknown motives and no morality, so we don't need to (and usually cannot) probe any further, they have the veneer of science and credibility that e.g. "a wizard did it" does not, and so these aliens can work however the settings needs them to work. They're an outcome pump, basically, and they're the closest convenient one. They're an excuse for weird, outside-context things to happen, and for readers to not probe any deeper. They seem legit enough, if you don't look too close. They can stand in for something pretty easily: pretty common for the aliens to be doing this for vague entertainment reasons, or colonialism, or this is some kind of pollutant effect or whatever, or superweapon testing. And again, specifically in the case of superpowers, there's a veneer of science on the whole thing, since aliens might exist, maybe. There's a lot of superhero stuff that has the same scientific veneer to it, so they match well together.

I guess I am, at heart, a believer in paths-of-least-resistance when it comes to writing, reinvention and convergence on solutions, and "aliens grant superpowers" seems to me like a solution to a problem that people would keep reinventing even if there were no prior works, and since there are prior works, you're also getting a lot of influence bleeding in, making the choice for "aliens grant superpowers" a lot easier. Audiences are familiar, they won't balk.