#Screw Breaker

[fairyfactorymarisa]

jill,,

[imjulia-andilikecats]

Andry: Did she ask you about the Spindleblade?

Corayne: Yes

Andry: I never told her about the sword

Corayne:

[getsuruito]

not rlly sunday related but unfun fact: being involved with tanba means eventually having to face the fact that he’s never going to marry you, and worse yet, that it will take him an incredibly long time to tell you he loves you, if he ever says it at all.

[goldfish-gay]

Victoria aveyard really knows how to make you care about a character after 2 chapters

And knowing how she writes. Saying I’m terrified for this girl is an understatement

[soft-ship]

An assortment of my happiest + softest Rex screencaps

[chid-sen-gan-blog]

So, I'm going to rant now. I apologize. But I just have to get this off my chest...

On the subject of Jaime...

I guess now it makes sense why D&D never included the entirety of the valonqar prophecy, huh?

And, honestly, f*ck them.

They sacrificed my boy's character arc to serve their incest fetish. They sacrificed all he was and could have been and for what? For what?!?! Dying alongside Cersei, as she'd always wanted?! Regressing back to his S1 self who'd do anything for her?!?! To turn a toxic-all-around, manipulative relationship into a major love story?! Screw it!!!

The man's entire arc was about becoming a better person. His entire arc revolved around him being his own person, not just one half of Cersei. His journey was about discovering who he was - and reconnecting to who he'd once strove to be. To watch his character - one of the most deeply flawed, most problematic ones in a series filled to the brim with them - change and learn throughout the series, and better himself as a person and grow into his own identity, was not only a treat, but an inspiration (fight me).

And you threw it all away in the end, D&D.

Let the episodes you wrote this season rot in the deepest levels of the seven hells (I'd bet you one of the levels is comprised of S8, E3-5)

I'll end things off on S8, E2 in my rewatches.

Tl;dr: Jaime Lannister deserved better. And that's the hill I fricking die on.

Oh, and one more thing...

F*ck you, D&D, for using Brienne as a glorified prop in your high budget sh*tshow.

SHE DESERVED BETTER, AS WELL.

(and I say that not as a shipper, but as someone who loves both their characters deeply)

[reedbstranger]

How did putting “clean bathroom” on my to do list end up with me two hours later submitting maintenance request because the drain’s leaking? Well y’see I have ADHD and both the queer hubris and enough DIY knowledge to make me dangerous, and the sink wasn’t draining well so I took the stopper out to clean the plug, and then when I was putting it back I saw that there was water collecting in the U trap which I assumed was bad and caused by gunk formerly caught on the plug falling into the bend (error 1), so I thought it looked simple enough to take apart myself and empty and I did and there was some gross stuff in there but not a plug so I put it back and I don’t know what I did but now it’s leaking where it connects to the basin and I DIDNT EVEN TOUCH THAT PART

So yeah I give I yield maintenance pls help

catch me as I fall into the ocean for I have flown too close to the sun and my wings made of youtube tutorials and hubris have melted

[cguts]

in fantasy forever - 5/27/22

https://linktr.ee/d.catalano

[azreths-arts-archived]

[musical-chick-13]

I think people who pick one character from AsoIaF/GoT to be The Protagonist are missing the point, because pretty much all of the characters think THEY are The Protagonist™ and that’s ultimately what screws them over.

(I also want to preface this by saying that that’s the reason I find these characters so interesting, and that this is not meant to insult any of them. I LOVE this story, and this is one of the many reasons why.)

Cersei thinks she’s the Villain Protagonist™ of a gritty drama. Even if it doesn’t make sense for things to work out for her, she assumes they will, seeing everyone around her as faceless idiots serving her narrative. Anyone and everyone will betray her because that’s what always happens in stories like this, so she won’t give them a chance to ever get there. People will move the way she assumes they will; everyone is predictable and stupid and shallow and cowardly. And as such, no one possesses the necessary skills to take her down. If she’s more ruthless and ambitious and paranoid than everyone else, she’ll get what she wants. But that’s not how life actually works, so all she does is alienate those around her, even necessary allies. People aren’t always predictable, not all of them are compliant or subservient or easily-frightened or incompetent. And if you prioritize ruthlessness and distrust, the people who aren’t those things aren’t going to see any reason to keep you around or give you aid.

Jaime thinks he’s a Cynical Misunderstood Antihero. He doesn’t need to work on bettering himself or de-internalizing his violent impulses, because he’s not the problem, it’s society, it’s people’s incorrect assessment of him. Look, he made a friend in Brienne, that must mean he’s not all bad, right? He thinks this story ends in a Public Image Rehabilitation, but he still conflates love with violence, and he still has a fucked up relationship with consent, he’s arrogant to a fault, he still insults Brienne (and just about everyone else) when the opportunity presents itself, and he never bothers trying to change that. And it’s all of this that prevents him from every truly becoming a good person. He’s so mired in this idea of being misunderstood that he doesn’t make a concerted effort to prove that he actually is. People think he’s an oath-breaker, that he has too big of an ego, that he doesn’t care about the people he swore to protect, and he thinks that simply going, “Yeah, but they don’t have the whole picture” is enough in and of itself to prove them wrong because, in a lot of stories, it is. But all his behavior does is cement his reputation as these things.

Dany thinks she’s The Chosen One, which means whatever she does is automatically the right decision. People will accept her rule because it’s hers, she deserves it, it’s morally right. All of her enemies are blanketedly wrong on all accounts in all cases. Her goals supersede anyone else’s because those goals are the way to a Happy Ending, and she doesn’t consider that other people might not see it that way. Many people’s gripes with her stem from gross places like misogyny or wanting to continue keeping slaves, but she forgets to acknowledge that some people’s issues with her might actually be valid. And that The Chosen One is actually a terrifying idea to people outside that person’s immediate personal context. She has three sentient WMDs, essentially. And if she thinks that using them is always morally correct, that the fallout from doing so can’t possibly be a problem because she’s using them and it’s for a noble cause, you end up with what happened in Astapor; and you end up with Drogon killing a child in Mereen and, eventually, her demise at the end of the show.

Sansa starts out thinking she’s an Optimistic Child Hero in a fairytale. This leads to her being held captive at court (she trusted that the authority figures were benevolent), writing a letter to her family that almost comes back to bite her to a deadly degree once her sister finds out in the show (she thought she could solve everything herself via a peaceful resolution), and to her trusting a complete monster of a boy until it’s too late (she thought he was Prince Charming). She thinks that being the Soft, Beautiful Heroine means people will love her and everything will end nicely and neatly, but sometimes instead of “love”, people just take advantage of you. And sometimes their reaction to your beauty isn’t innocent appreciation-sometimes you end up with Littlefinger. (Or Tyrion or The Hound who...let’s just leave it at “they have their own issues,” especially book-wise.) This morphs into assuming that a fairytale-esque betrayal will befall her with every new person she meets. It’s why she defends Petyr after his murder of Lysa, and it’s why she doesn’t leave with Brienne; if she’s going to be betrayed anyway, she might as well at least stick with a villain she understands.

Ned thinks he’s the Noble Hero in a typical fantasy series. He doesn’t consider everyone else’s capacity for cruelty or the idea that honor alone might not be enough. Sometimes there are no perfect choices, sometimes mercy does not give you the end goal you envisioned, and sometimes you can try your best and that can all be undone by one impulsive, unforeseeable action. You can’t honor your way out of ruthless political conflict.

Robb thinks he’s a Romantic War Hero, and thus everything will magically work out for him. His ideals and his marriage will conquer everything. But he broke a marriage promise to a powerful family, and that has consequences. The world won’t bend to his will, not even if he is doing the right thing or has noble goals, not even if he’s had war success, not even if the people at home love him, not even if he’s in love (show) or doing the most honorable thing he can (books). He thinks that being the hero means he can make it through Westeros without having to play the game, and he gets murdered for it.

Theon thinks he’s an Underdog Outcast Hero. He’ll come up from behind with an unsuspecting War Victory, and that will earn him respect, the love of his family, and a legacy he can look back on with pride. And that mindset leads him to murder two children, to drive away any allies and good grace he had at Winterfell, and the reason that the War Victory he imagined was so unexpected is because it’s completely untenable. He gets more and more desperate and it’s increasingly harder and harder to hold onto the control he’s managed to obtain. He has reasons for wanting this that make sense, and he’s been dealt a pretty bad hand in life, and he thinks that’s and his determination to overcome his personal identity struggles is enough to not only justify his actions, but ensure that those actions will be successful. And then his plan blows up in his face, he assumes he’s been miraculously saved (probably still having something to do with seeing himself as The Unexpected Hero), and ends up at Ramsay’s mercy.

Arya thinks she’s a Badass Heroine in the making, a skilled swordslady and Rebellious Princess who’s destined for more than this stuffy life of politics and dresses and formalities. But rebelling isn’t always enough. It doesn’t help with the Mycah situation, and she still needs to rely on others’ help in getting out of the city after Ned is executed. When she does try to embrace the “fully self-sufficient sword lady” idea while with the Faceless Men in Braavos, she is told to functionally discard her identity completely. She does an unauthorized kill because she, not her assassin-persona-in-training, wants to (though the victim’s identity differs in books and show), which leads to her being temporarily blinded and prevented from going on assassination missions, and outright forced to beg for food in the show. In the show, after being reinstated as an apprentice, she is tasked with killing an innocent person, refuses (rebels), and realizes that this life is one she can’t handle. She goes home, and her heading straight for her sword is one of the things that almost completely ruins her relationship with Sansa. In the upcoming Winds of Winter release, her chapter excerpt has her prioritizing revenge over her apprentice duties, and she remarks that her new identity is ruined with this rebellious action. When you rebel, there are consequences-this doesn’t change just because your intentions are good or because you are or think you are important.

Jon thinks, similarly to Ned, that he’s The Good Guy, that doing the right thing, that following The Code is paramount. He thinks that, because he’s The Good Guy, that doing the right thing with the maximum amount of good for everyone will always be a workable option, and that the heroic option will always yield the best result. This is why he thinks proclaiming his love to Ygritte in the show will end well (because love is good and conquers everything) and is, instead, shot by her several times. It’s why he doesn’t foresee a mutiny in either medium, which leads to his (temporary) death. (Let’s be real, he’s getting resurrected in the books, too, this is the one thing I’m sure of.) Because yes, everything is tense and he’s on bad terms with the Watch, but surely they wouldn’t go that far. It’s rough going, and he has to juggle the needs of several widely different groups of people, but he’s doing the right thing and that will win out; his conviction will protect him, at least for the time being while he tries to manage the bigger threat of the White Walkers. The real fight is with them, the mysterious overarching enemy, not within his own ranks. This is a story where everyone puts aside their differences to fight a greater threat-except for the times when it isn’t.

Even Catelyn isn’t immune, as she assumes that Petyr, since he’s her childhood friend, is invested in solving the mystery of what happened to Bran when he tells her the dagger used in the attack was Tyrion’s. Lysa is her sister, she can’t possibly be suspicious. She thinks the Lannisters are evil, her instincts tell her that they were behind everything, she’s the Protective Mother Heroine, so she must be right. But although she is to a certain extent correct, that’s not the complete picture. And this slightly-misplaced confidence leads her to arrest Tyrion, the retaliation of which is Tywin siccing his forces on her homeland, one of the major first steps in the upcoming political war. Then, her continued focus on saving her children-something that must take precedence because they are her children, and this is her story-leads her to taking Walder Frey’s supposed offer of a fix-it solution for Robb breaking his marital pledge at face value, despite House Frey’s reputation, and despite this neat resolution seeming far too good to be true. She’s so focused on the Lannisters-the Obvious Endgame Enemy-that she doesn’t consider the possibility of betrayal from the Freys. She thinks that the world is giving her a break-because she is so desperately looking for one, because she deserves one, because her family deserves one, and those are reasons enough for her to have one-that she doesn’t even bother to re-evaluate the situation until it’s too late.

Melisandre thinks she’s a Religious Hero, but she ends up burning a child alive and alienating one of her few remaining allies in the process (and Davos was barely an ally to begin with). She thinks she’s Doing What Needs To Be Done to serve her savior, but it hurts Stannis more than it helps him, and he just ends up being murdered by Brienne. This is obviously in the show only (at least at this point), and I don’t know if Stannis is going to burn Shireen in the books or not. Stannis thinks he’s the Lawful Hero, and thus, because according to law he’s the Rightful Ruler, anything he does is automatically excusable; he’s just righting a wrong. And in the process, he imprisons his closest friend, has a hand in murdering his brother (when kinslaying is one of the most universally hated breaches of conduct in this fictional universe), allies with a dangerous woman that much of his own court despises, and, in the show, murders his only child and drives away most of the rest of his remaining team.

They all think that, since they are the main characters of their own stories, that they’re the main character of the larger, overarching narrative. That having understandable reasons or sympathetic qualities or even just having a clear goal that they desperately want, that’s enough to cement their importance. And they think that means that they’re justified in everything they do, that everything will work out for them, that the consequences will be lesser for them than for others, because that’s what it’s like to be the main character. The whole point is that there is not A Protagonist™ and that maybe we should examine why a story needs A Protagonist™ in the first place and what that narrative tradition tells us. When GRRM said he turned down adaptation offers because they only wanted to focus on Jon and Dany, this is why.

[fixdex-fastening-technology]

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[walled-flwr]

John Walker getting a best down from the Dora Milaje wasn't just great television or even "fan service". There a lot going on in that scene which will be dissected just below

The Dora enter the scene when John Walker has just threatened Sam. One of them throws a spear into a beam between them, protecting Sam who is obviously didn’t want to fight.

So John Walker started the fight by threatening a Black man who helped defend Wakanda. #WinterSpoilers

John’s behavior toward the Dora is insulting and passive aggressive & FILLED WITH MICRO AGGRESSIONS (Like when he referred to their spears as "pointy sticks). He touches Ayo without her permission in a gesture that white men often claim is friendly but is actually a condescending way they assert their authority and power over others, especially women.

YOU DO NOT PUT HANDS ON A BLACK WOMAN WHOM YOU ARE PAINFULLY UNFAMILIAR WITH. It is not cute neither is it an ice breaker. Just F*cking DON'T ✋🏾🚫🛑

We’ve seen John uses that gesture before, along with his nonchalant “aw shucks” act before. At this point we, the audience, should be aware that it is a mask that covers calculated violence and can’t be reasoned with. Ayo sure sees it. #WinterSpoilers

Which makes it very interesting to see so many people cast the Dora as aggressors in this situation. It shows how much we’ve internalized white supremacy that we see a white man we know to be dangerous threaten a Black man but frame Black women as the aggressors.

PS I understand that by virtue of how the fight scene is filmed it looks like the Dora, Ayo especially, have lethal intent. But if anything the fight demonstrates that if the Dora Milaje want someone dead he would be dead. They left those men alive. 🤷🏽‍♀️

And by returning the shield, they demonstrated that John Walker was of ZERO THREAT to them.

The Dora Milaje showed restraint and more importantly, class.

For those of you idiots saying "Don't make it about race", I say screw you. This show if anything shows how America views itself as the altruistic saviour when in truth they're little more than soiled cattle muddying & soiling everything they touch.

[cauqhtz]

My opinion

Okay so I've seen like maybe one or two people hating on just dream alone and I'm a little confused.. Because if anything dream wasn't pissed off enough for me. A human and his wimp of a son trapped him for nearly 100 years because they wanted something that he couldn't give them... And yet he was lenient and only punished sam I think his name was with spending the last of his life sleeping. He should have burned the entire house down with them in it because they INTENTIONALLY caused so much trouble for not just Dream, but dreams realm, his people thinking he abandoned them, his sibling taking advantage of the situation and basically raping Unity, the Corinthian being able to go on a fucking killing spree and create a cult whether it was intentional or not, his ruby being manipulated by some psycho who murdered an entire diner, sam murdered his raven, he was almost murdered by lucifer when he tried to get his helm back, and Rose? Rose nearly destroyed the fucking realm all over again not just rose but her teacher friend ityla or whatever her name was. People slept through their entire lives because of what Sam and his father did and what desire did. And yet when Dream came back trying to get his shit back to put his realm back in balance.. he was somehow the bad guy? Now don't get me wrong. He could've used a little shaping and he got that in the end but not after being trapped for 100 years, coming back to clean up everyone's mess and his own. He never said he was perfect, he never claimed to always be right but he never admitted to being wrong until the end but he learned from his mistakes and corrected them. So again tell me why you hate him again? He's a lord or a god or whatever the hell he is. He's not human but that didnt stop him from knowing wrong from right. Someone said they were upset because he left when hob suggested that they were friends. The first thing hob did was tell Dream that he was fucking lonely. I don't know about you but I'm storming out as well because what the fuck? Thats rude as fuck especially when it's true and on his level? Dream has probably been alone for eons until he was forced to CREATE his people. You guys overlook hob who literally shipped slaves off for rice and money but when dream refuses to accept that he's lonely.. its a deal breaker and he's the worst ever? Hell no and fuck that. Dream should've murdered everyone who screwed him over but no he played by the book and followed everyone else's rules and did so respectfully with no ill intent and in return everyone turns on him and decides to make him an enemy.. and for what?? because it sounded like dream never even left his realm much to make any real enemies. His siblings don't count bc they are his siblings.. LOL I mean did you guys see what happened at the very end of the last episode?? Lucifer is basically trying to put dream down just for winning on her terms. Its bullshit.

[icanfixhimclub]

𝐼𝑡 𝑓𝑜𝑟 ℎ𝑖𝑚 || 𝑅𝑎𝑓𝑒 𝐶𝑎𝑚𝑒𝑟𝑜𝑛

Pairing(s): Rafe Cameron x Reader

Warnings: Slight Dark!Rafe, drug use, lots of swearing, kidnapping, mostly fluff

Summary: You will always be it for Rafe, wether you like it or not.

You had been it for him. Since the moment Rafe Cameron had laid eyes on you in 4nd grade, Ms. Wilerds math class, you were it.

“Hi! I’m Rafael, people call me Rafe.” The taller blonde walked up to you with a lopsided smile. “Hi, I’m y/n.” You were hesitant, your friends had told you that his dad was the richest in outer banks, that if he didn’t like you, you were screwed, this was fortunately, not your case. “I think you’re cute, wanna sit with me at lunch.” His question caught you off guard, no boys had talked to you so far at your new school, so for the first one to be a complement was a shocker. “Uh, sure, that’d be cool.” “Cool! Al-“ “Rafael get in your seat!” “Oops, bye!” “Bye.” You had lunch with Rafe that day, and every other day too, quickly getting along.

Then in 7th grade, when he suggested doing a double costume with you for Halloween.

“What about, like, a zombie bride and groom?” “Wouldn’t that make us look like we’re dating?” You looked at him in confusion but he just shrugged, “So? It’s be fun.” You think it over but eventually argee, spending 3 weeks working on your guys costume. By time Halloween came, you guys undoubtedly looked the best, from make up to clothes. “You know, I think you should be a bride one day, my bride.” “What are you talking about Cameron?” You looked up at him with a huff. “We should get married, Y’know, just without the zombie part.” You just nodded and munched on a Twix, “Whatever you say Rafael.”

And how could we forget Sophomore year when you had your first major injury in hockey.

“And Y/n/n is taken down with a hard hit into the boards!” Your head is spinning, no strength in your body to get up. Everything was drowned out as you heard Rafe’s screams. “Y/n/n is not getting up! This can’t be good folks.” A teammate skated over to help you up, reaching out a hand. You tried to take it, but as soon as you leaned yourself in your right arm, pain shot through your nerves and you let out a scream. The game had been paused and you had been taken off the ice to be looked at. Long story short, you sprained your shoulder and can’t play for the rest of the season. Rafe was the first person in the locker room to check on you after the doctors. “Are you ok? Who shoved you, I swear I’ll kill ‘em.” “Rafe, I’m ok, alright?” “But you’re not! You’re gonna miss the last game!” “Rafe,” you use your free hand to hold his face, “Calm down, I’ll be ok.” You kiss his forehead and he sighs.

Then shit went down hill senior year.

“Hey Rafe, I think I’m gonna- what the fuck?” Rafe was leant over a table with some random dudes by his side as he snorted a line of coke. You scoffed and he finally looked at you. “Y/n! Hey, hi, hey.” His words were slurred and his eyes were fixed on your boobs. “Whatever Cameron, thought we made a promise but whatever, I’m walking home.” You turned and jogged out of the house, Rafe calling after you. It was pouring outside and you were suddenly glad you brought your moms old wind breaker, shielding you from the rain a bit. You weren’t even a block when you heard Rafe’s truck beside you. “Y/n get in, you have another 4 blocks, you’ll catch a cold if you don’t.” “Fuck off Rafe, no way I’m getting in a car that you’re driving.” “Then I’ll let you drive, just get in the damn car!” You finally stop and glare at him. He gets out of the truck and gets in the passenger as you get in the drivers side and head to your house. He opens his mouth to talk but you cut him off, “Save it, talk to me in your not high out of your mind.” You pulled into your drive way and silently got out of the truck and into your house.

Even after you broke up, you could still never get rid of him, even if it means taking certain measures.

You woke up in an unfamiliar room, the room quite literally swaying. All you remember was you were at your house watching a movie then passed out. You sit up off the couch and look around, fear sinking in as you look out the window to nothing but ocean. “What the fuck.” “Oh, you’re awake,” You jumped at the sound of Rafe’s voice, “You’ve been out for a while now, got a bit worried for you sweet heart.” “Rafe where the hell am I? Did you kidnap me?” You recoiled into the couch as he steps towards you. “I wouldn’t say kidnap? Maybe, borrowed you for an uncertain amount of time.” “Rafe we broke up 6 months ago, why the hell did you take me?” Rafe laughed and sat beside you, brushing your hair from your face, “You didn’t really think I’d leave you be that easily? Besides, everyone misses you, me, wheezie, Rose, Ward-“ “Ward is dead.” “Mhm, sure sweet heart.” He leaned forward and kisses you, and no matter how much your brain fought it, your heart fell in love all over again with the sweet boy who used to be your best friend, and you melted into his kiss. He pulled away and smiled, “Knew you would come around.” He grinned and kissed your cheek before leaving the room and locking the door from the outside.

You were it for him, and always will be. Wether you like it or not

[subwaysurf45]

The Beginning

summary: the beginning of a friendship between you and Bucky. 

words: 6,947

warning: violence, mentions of torture, human trafficking, Hydra, fluff, angst

Main Materlist

The blue light from the screen burned your eyes, there was crust forming around your lashes and in your tear ducts. Your back was bent forward at an ungodly angle, it cracked whenever you sat up straight to take a second to breathe. There was typing and clicking all around the room, Steve and Sam were muttering a conversation out of courtesy for everyone else typing.

You, Steve, and Sam were all working on the same thing, you were writing a mission. Steve had come to you and Sam privately to plan and execute a mission, he had gotten the green light from his superior but wanted to keep the mission a secret. You three were going to break Bucky out from a Hydra base.

You’d never met the Winter Soldier before, he had never crossed paths with your work. After Steve approached you saying he found where he was you felt as though needed to tag on, the relief but fear in Steve’s face convinced you this was a big deal to him.

It was weird, you had never run into Bucky but both of you were taken captive by Hydra at some point. Two years ago you were outnumbered and decided to surrender yourself instead of taking a bullet between the eyes, the Hydra agents threw you into a cell and beat you bloody for information that you never gave. Now, you didn’t have control over your powers, lightning shot out of you randomly and when you’d touch an energy source you’d burn it out. They found it interesting but they didn’t know how to control it either, half the time you’d burn their breaker box and leave them without light for a few days.

Now you could control it, creating energy at the snap of a finger. You liked lightning the best, it was easy and seemed to kill most of your enemies. On top of that, you could also control the environment, you still knew how to fry an energy source to an entire building but now with more control.

You still had scars from your time at Hydra, most of the slashes healed but you’d wake up from nightmares the odd time. No matter who Hydra held captive, they branded them. A skull with tentacles was held under a flame until the metal turned red, then it would be shoved anywhere visible on your body. Yours was on the side of your thigh from curling up in the corner and trying to cover as much as possible.

After that, you stuck to breaking down trafficking circles or smaller organized crime. You never wanted to run the risk of dealing with those people again, and it seemed cartels and trafficking strip clubs weren’t being taken care of. Steve came to you for your knowledge of Hydra and how they keep their prisoners, he gave you multiple chances to take breaks or leave if it got too much.

“I think that’s all we can do,” Steve stood up, two empty mugs in his hands. You and Sam nodded, Steve sighed and rolled out the kink in his neck, “just prepare yourself for something to go wrong, that is always with Hydra. I know we’ve been planning and all that but Hydra likes to screw with us, get ready for it.” Steve looked between the two of you before walking out, taking the rest of the mugs from beside you.

“I’m calling it in as well,” Sam stood up and cracked his back, with one loud pop he groaned and almost fell over, “you should too, out of all of us you need the sleep.”

“I know,” you shrugged as Sam patted your shoulder.

After Sam left you were left in the computer room alone with your thoughts. It was four in the morning and you’d be taking off at seven, the planning didn’t mean to take this long. You stood as well after shutting down the computer, the overhead lights were off and after the blue light from the computer went out you were left in the dark. With a sore back, you slowly walked to your room, one arm supporting you against the wall as you walked.

Flopping back onto your bed you threw one arm under your pillow, looking at the ceiling and picturing everything that could go wrong during the mission. You knew there was a risk of you getting captured again, that was the one risk that scared you. If they saw your branding symbol you knew they would pull all the past documents about you and continue to try and harvest your powers. You could control them now and that meant they might be able to control them as well.

The dawn came faster than expected, you could feel the sun creeping into your room but got up before you let it hit your face. Your suit was dark blue, some argued navy, and was made by Banner to store energy better. You didn’t know much of the science behind it, all you knew was that it looked cool in action and you felt like a badass.

Your combat boots clomped as you walked out on the grass and to the jet, little spikes on the bottom of your shoes crushing a few dandelions on the way over. It was a spring morning, you could smell the dew the second you walked outside. Steve and Sam were already there, Sam was trying to lighten the mood but Steve wasn’t having it, he stood there and fiddled with his shield. You all walked in and waited for a debrief from Rogers, Sam gave you a couple of looks to not joke around with Steve.

“I will go get Bucky,” Steve finished his speech off, “he might become hostile towards you guys, he might know me so I have to be the one.”

“Copy,” you nodded.

It seemed like your thinking was a blur until you were stationed outside of the building, your mind was so focused on not getting captured again you barely heard anything coming through your coms. All three of you entered at the same time, guns pointed and ready in front of you. You heard gunshots from around the corner, you sprinted over to find Steve and Sam fighting off many Hydra agents.

“Glad you’ve joined the party!” Sam yelled, expanding his wings to knock out two agents at once.

“I’m fashionably late!” you called back and began fighting, lighting hopped around your suit to show it was filled with energy to use.

Anyone who touched you got electrocuted, their hair stood up and a black burn would show up on their face. It didn’t take much to knock someone out, you’d typically have to shock them again with your energy to kill them.

The agents poured in from every angle, you moved from fighting one person to four in a matter of seconds. With your com in your ear and your team in the same hallway, you could hear them struggling.

“Shit!” you felt a knife slip down your arm and your thigh, one fluid motion cutting you deeply.

“We need a different plan!” Sam yelled.

“I’m gonna count down from three and when I say ‘now’ you have to jump and not touch anyone, got it?” You screamed over the gunfire and grunts, the one thing Hydra agents couldn’t do was aim.

“We’ve barely practiced this!” Steve shouted.

“Do you want Bucky or not?” after yelling back Steve didn’t respond, “three, two, one, now!” at the signal your fists slammed hard against the ground, a ripple of lightning ran through every agent who was on the ground, they all froze at the same time. You pushed out all that was left, screaming as the flashes of your time at Hydra painted your mind. The amount of energy running through them left the agents twitching for seven seconds; enough to kill them.

It was dead silent after you stopped, no one was groaning or slowly trying to get up. When you got to your feet you saw Steve cradled in Sam’s arms as Sam suspended in the air, a look of shock between the two of them. Sam slowly moved to the ground, Steve latched his shield to his back and couldn’t close his mouth.

Before Sam could say anything he got an alert from his wrist, “Redwing spotted some people running with paperwork, we gotta go get them.”

“I’ll-” you were cut off.

“Go get Bucky,” Steve walked over, “I’ll take the runaways.”

“But Bucky is your friend,” you looked at Sam to see the same confused reaction.

“And Hydra is your enemy,” Steve patted your shoulder, “you should be the one, plus,” he cracked a smile, “you’ve already shown off too much.”

“But Steve-”

“Go,” he cut you off again, “I’ll meet you at the jet.”

After looking in a few pockets you found some keys, they looked important. You just nodded before running back to the way you came in, there was a little door off to the side you hadn’t seen before. Slowly, your hand opened the door. Right before you were about to close it you heard a scream. A guttural and heartbreaking scream, the kind of scream you physically cringe at, it was painful, which only meant it belonged to Bucky.

You ran down the corridor, there were twists and turns but you didn’t stop. You used the blood coming from your wound to mark your path, giving you a good chance of getting out. There were empty cells everywhere, no one was around at all. The further you got into the hallways to louder the scream began, on the last turn you heard it loud and clear.

Right at the very end of the hallway, on the right housed the Winter Soldier. He was curled in the corner with his hands over his ears, screaming as loud as he could. You couldn’t see his left arm, it was being shielded by his body.

“I found Bucky,” you spoke into your com, your voice taking him out of his trance.

The man whipped his head around, a pure look of horror on his face. He quickly began sputtering apologies, “I didn’t do anything, I’ve been here, I don't- I didn’t do anything!” tears rushed down his face, “I swear I’ll be good, please, please, I’ll be good!”

You crouched down to his level, your hand stuck through the small openings between the poles on his cell door. “I don’t work for Hydra,” you whispered, he still looked confused, “I’m here with my friends and someone you know to get you out of here,” you smiled and kept your hand out, “Bucky, your friend Steve is here.”

“Steve?” he immediately sat up, “Steve?” he said again with more hope. You nodded quickly, with a slow hand you pulled the keys out. The sound of the door unlocking seemed to frighten Bucky a bit but you eased him back down, slowly pulling the door open. Your hand was out again, this time with easier access for him to grab.

“Is this a test?” he pushed himself further into the wall, “I don’t want to get wiped again, I promise I don’t know anything,” his voice was shaking.

“I’m here to help you,” your hand got closer to him.

He stood up on his own, fully facing you. His left shoulder was riddled with scars and the open wounds were dripping pus and blood, they must have reopened and gotten infected. Bucky seemed to be coward on his left side, trying to hide it. You just waved him to walk out, finding your blood trail again and slowly making your way out of the twisted hallways. One arm would reach back to push Bucky in the center of your back, he was also crouching like you were. Your gun was out in front, whipping around the corner just in case.

“I’ve secured Bucky, we’re heading out now,” you spoke strongly but quietly into your com.

“Don’t take the way you went in, there are tons of bodies and that will trigger him,” Steve answered, “take a left immediately after leaving the cell hallway and then take two rights and you’re out.”

“Copy,” you looked down at the trail and took your final turn, “Falcon, where are you?”

“I’m clearing the walkout, take your time because they seem to keep popping up out of nowhere,” Sam grunted, “most of them are down but there are still bodies out here, make sure he closes his eyes-”

“Don’t do that!” Steve yelled, “make sure he has all his senses.”

“Copy and copy,” you took a left instead of a right, the existing door was a few steps away. Bucky was still behind you, he seemed to move to stealth move as well, when you turned to talk to him he was watching your back, walking backwards with his left arm ready. “Hey, Bucky,” you whispered.

He turned around, “what?” his head kept whipping over his shoulder.

“We’re going to talk outside, there are bodies out there but we’re taking you to the jet and we’re taking you to our home, alright?” your hand was on the door handle and after he nodded you opened it.

The light poured in as you walked out, you managed a few steps before turning around and seeing Bucky standing there. He was shoeless and shirtless, his pants were ripped into shorts so most of his body was exposed. The spring sun reflected off his body and arm, he was taking a moment and letting the rays absorb into his skin. His eyes were squinty as well, most missions for him were done at night and his cell wasn’t lit up. when he started walking again one hand curved with his forehead to help him see, every time you’d look back he was looking around with barely open eyes.

Hydra agents were rolling around on the ground, groaning in pain. Some were dead, blood staining the green grass. Once you were at the jet you couldn’t see any bodies, just the shadow of Bucky behind you.

“I’m at the jet,” you helped him walk up the ramp, “I’m bringing him in.”

Bucky stood timidly at the bottom of the ramp, his arms crossed tightly around himself to soothe him. His eyes were scanning around, leaning in ever so slightly to try and see everything in the jet. A loud bang sent him pacing back a few steps, whipping his head to his left and seeing Steve and Sam run over. You walked back down the ramp and waved them over, sneaking a few glances at Bucky.

Steve stood there and caught his breath as he looked at Bucky, “you remember me?” Steve asked, clenching his jaw.

Bucky’s eyebrows pulled tight, his bottom lip was being gnawed on. “Um,” his voice cracked, “yeah,” he whispered, “I- I saw you on the bridge, right?” Bucky slowly looked at Sam, “and you were there,” both of them began to nod, “and after I said I remembered you, I knew you.”

“You do know me,” Steve smiled.

“And then they tried to wipe me but I don’t think it worked,” Bucky looked over at you, “I played it off like I had forgotten everything but nothing had changed, I don’t know why but I do know Steve.”

Sam crossed his arms, “you’ve never met Y/N but she was once captured by Hydra, we brought her-”

“We don’t need to get all into that,” you quickly cut him off and walked everyone onto the jet.

You took a seat and found a first aid kit, taking some gauze and making sure the cuts on your arm and leg were healing properly. As you tended to your wounds you heard Sam and Steve sit, Steve sat in the piolet seat and Sam sat across from you. Your head was down as you pushed on the gauze, sometimes closing your eyes at the sting.

“Take a seat, Buck,” Steve said.

You looked up to see Bucky standing by the end of the jet, his arms still crossed in front of his chest. Bucky slowly nodded and took the seat beside you, you could feel the warmth radiating off of him. Your cut was on the arm closest to him so you could see him staring at you through the corner of your eye, part of you wanted to look up but the other part was thinking he might get embarrassed. When you moved to your leg to reassess but you still felt his gaze, very slowly you looked up at him.

“Sorry,” he whispered and looked down at his hands, “I just-...sorry.”

“Do you want me to clean out the scars on your arm?” You pointed to his left arm, the one closest to you. “They look infected and I'm going to guess it hurts?”

Bucky shrugged, “nothing really hurts anymore,” his right hand came up and gently pressed against his left scarring, you could see him wince but you knew he was trying to cover it.

“Hey,” you gently removed his right hand and held up a water bottle with a squirt top, “just water, won’t sting.” you held it up and aimed it down, after seeing him nod you began pressing on the water bottle and letting a stream of water flush out his scars. He didn’t seem to mind it, there wasn’t a reaction. After the water washed most of the gunk out you pulled out a small square packet, tared it open and gently pulled out a wipe. “So this is a little disinfectant wipe,” you opened the sheet, “can I wipe your arm?”

Bucky looked at it for a second, by now the scent of alcohol must have burned his nose as it did yours. He flinched back for a second before leaning back in, holding his hand out. “I’ll do it,” he took the sheet from your hand and began wiping around the scars, patting it on the deeper part to make it sting less.

“Great job,” you nodded, quickly checking back on your cuts which were fine. You look up to see him holding out the wipe to you, silently asking you to take it. “Thanks,” you took it back and threw it in the trash, along with other used wrappers and gloves that you had used.

It was silent after that, all four of you sat comfortably as the jet got closer to the compound. Steve flew the entire time, checking over his shoulder once and a while to smile at Bucky or give him a little reassurance. You stayed where you were the entire time, for the bulk of the time you were picking the fried edges of your suit. You’d never done that long shock before, you normally don’t hold the lightning for more than three seconds so seven seconds did a number on your suit. It also did a number on your energy, a few times your eyelids closed for a moment but a moment turned into ten minutes.

At one point your head lulled to the side and touched Bucky’s metal shoulder, he jerked back three seats and cupped his shoulder with his right hand. You quickly woke up and offered apologies, “I can’t believe I just did that, I’m so sorry, I’m just really tired and I probably freaked you out, I’m so sorry.”

Bucky scooted back to beside you, his eyes looking at the ground and sometimes at you. “It’s okay,” he muttered for only you to hear, “thank you for apologizing.”

You just tilted your head over, a sad look on your face, “of course.”

********

For around two weeks Bucky stayed in his room, only allowing Steve to go in and talk or bring food. One day Bucky came running out of his room, screaming for Steve. You were sitting in the common room and Steve had met him halfway in the kitchen, earshot from you.

Bucky had tears streaming down his face, his hands pulled Steve in for a hug. Steve stood in shock for a moment before hugging Bucky back, his own tears gathering.

“Coney Island,” Bucky cried, “Dalorise, my sister Rebecca, my mom Winnie, your mom Sarah,” Bucky jumped up and down, “the Howling Commandos, don't do anything stupid until I get back!” Bucky wiped his tears but they were quickly replaced.

Steve was in shock, a good kind of shock, “how can I?” Steve’s voice was thick with tears, “you’re taking all the- I can’t, just hug me again.” Steve wrapped Bucky up and the two grown men cried together in the kitchen.

You just sat there from the couch and watched them sway back and forth, you could tell they were talking but you couldn’t hear anymore. Your book rested open on your chest to mark the page, the mug of tea beside you slowly lost its steam. You just sat there and watched them, a long-lost friendship starting to make its way back.

After that Bucky stayed in his room for a few more days, but he was changing now. Steve was also changing, his topic of conversation always flowed back to Bucky. Sometimes you were just making lunch and Steve would walk in and start talking as if you asked how the two of them were doing, at one point you put headphones in and Steve kept talking.

It was difficult to see a friend slowly start to drift, you no longer sparred with Steve. You had been kicked to the punching bag while Bucky and Steve play fought each other, laughing as they talked about the past. You were stuck at a crossroad, part of you missed your friend but the other part knew that this was what Steve was looking for all this time, he needed a moment to just breathe in the happiness of finally getting Bucky back.

You were currently kneeling by the coffee table, a puzzle had been started and a sticky note was left next to it asking for anyone and everyone to try and help put it together. Your hair was pulled back so you could see all the pieces, puzzles weren’t your best skill but you still enjoyed taking part. With a soft gasp, you placed the final edge piece together, there was now a border to work with.

“That’s smart,” a voice came from above. You looked up to see Bucky standing at the other end of the coffee table, “I took a shot at this a while ago and had convinced myself that no pieces worked,” he cracked a smile, it looked forced.

You just nodded and picked up another piece, connecting it to an open slot. “I just always did it this way,” you snapped another piece and then looked up to see Bucky had kneeled.

Bucky managed to put a few pieces together, he had a habit of scratching his stubble before letting out a little sound of him being stumped. “Hey, um,” he started talking but quickly stopped to let out a cough, “I…I never got a chance to thank you for that mission,” he clenched his jaw, “and for cleaning out my arm, it’s still red but getting all the stuff out made it heal faster, so…thank you.” Bucky smiled but this time it looked real, which meant it wasn’t as expressive.

“No worries,” you sighed, snapping another two pieces together, “I hope you’re liking it here, I bet Steve’s been a real help.” there was no sarcasm to your tone.

“Yeah,” Bucky sucked a breath in, “he’s been really great but I feel like he’s keeping me tucked away, y’know?” Bucky reached out and connected another piece, “I really want to get to know some other people, like you.” he quickly added.

“Why me?” you looked up and rested your chin on your hand.

“Because,” Bucky laughed.

You just shook your head, “great answer,” this time the sarcasm was obnoxious.

“Alright,” Bucky rolled his eyes, “because I think you’re very cool and I talked with that birdman,” he paused to let you laugh, leaning back and clutching your stomach as you cackled, “and Sam said you were really nice and that if I ever wanted to talk about Hydra I can go to you.”

You sucked in a breath when he brought up Hydra, “well, thank you for that,” you pulled your lips into a thin line, “and I’m always open to listen but there are some things with Hydra that I don’t want to talk about.”

“Me too,” Bucky nodded, “but just the overall stuff, like the nightmares.”

“The nightmares,” you repeated back, “I used to go cuddle with Natasha after a nightmare but she’s with her family right now.”

Bucky’s eyebrows raised but he caught himself and lowered them, “well, um, do you want to make a mutual…cuddle agreement?” Bucky thought through what he was saying, his face getting red by the end of his proposal.

“Mutal cuddle agreement?” You laughed as you repeated, “I mean, what’s the harm?”

“That’s what I was thinking,” Bucky smiled.

“You’ve been thinking about cuddling with me?” a smirk grows on your lips as Bucky freezes, his hand that was reached out to grab a piece was now frozen. He stayed like that for a couple of seconds, “I was kidding-” the words died down as Bucky stands up quickly, you can see shame written all over his face. “Bucky,” you stood up as well, “I’d love to agree to the cuddle thing, what’s going on?” You walked around the coffee table but after a few steps, Bucky began walking away.

“I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable,” he muttered right as he was rounding the corner.

“No,” you jogged a few steps and managed to stand in front of him, “Bucky, I was just joking around, I’m sorry, really, I really am,” he had stopped walking by now, his eyes slowly moving up your body.

“You’re not…uncomfortable?” Bucky looked over his shoulder and down the hall, making sure no one was around.

“I would love a new cuddle buddy,” you held your hand out, “and I’m sorry I made that joke, I wasn’t thinking about how you’d react and that’s on me.”

His eyes stayed fixed on your hand, your palm facing up. It looked like he didn’t know what to do, or how to connect his hand to yours. Slowly, his hand found its way to yours, his palm sliding against yours. He smiled through the handshake, his eyes gleaming at the human contact.

Bucky slowly back away, a smile beginning to reach his eyes. “Okay,” he breathed a sigh of relief, “we’re buddies.”

Before he was fully gone you called his name, “Bucky!” he whipped around, “I have one rule though and I’m serious,” he came walking back, the smile slowly disappearing. “Before you come into my bed you need to wake me up and tell me you’re Bucky, I’ll do the same for you. I need to know who’s in my room or I…” you sucked in a breath, “I’ll…”

“I understand,” Bucky nodded, “I’ll announce myself clearly for you, alright? No sneaking.”

“No sneaking,” you smiled and watched as he walked away.

A small laugh erupted from your lip when you saw him pump his fist in the air, probably thinking you had left the hallway as well, there was a little skip he did before turning the corner. When you made it back to the puzzle you couldn’t focus on it anymore, you could only feel his hand in yours.

********

Ever since then you and Bucky came into contact more often than before. He was adjusting well to the compound, though some agents weren’t fond of his presence Bucky didn’t care. It had been around a month since he moved in, two weeks since the proposition to be cuddle buddies.

You didn’t get nightmares too often and when Nat was home you got them a lot but there were fewer things to trigger you these days. Part of you felt bad you couldn’t fulfill your promise to snuggle with the broody man but at the same time, he didn’t come into your room either. Bucky had told you the cream he was putting on his scarring had some hormone in it that knocked him out every night, he slept with his shirt off and the smell seemed to lull him to sleep. Both of you were happy you did need each other help because that meant you weren’t having nightmares. But you kept going with the ‘buddy’ aspect of the deal.

In the gym, you’d go over and say hello, most of the time finding him to be your spotter because you didn’t know anyone else. Later he started to ask you to spot for him and teach a few of your sparring moves, this led to him finding out about your powers. He was winning but when you’d punch him back you’d shock him as if you had rubbed sock-covered feet on the carpet for a while and then touched him, to say he was confused was an understatement. In the end, you showed him the sparks and the lightning, using little to no power for safety reasons.

“That’s sick,” he said and reached up to touch your hand, “can you zap people and see their skeleton, like in the cartoons?” he was in awe as he asked.

You just laughed a shook your head, “no, I can’t go that far, I’ve never tried.”

Bucky covered his mouth with a laugh again, “I see something new every day with this place and I’m not mad,” he just sat and watched you play with the energy, sending it back and forth or moving it around your body.

That gym friendship moved out of the weight room. After a workout, you asked him to come to the city but he said no, that was too busy for him. So you went out and got the protein shakes yourself, finding him at the coffee table with a new puzzle waiting for you. The shakes were a treat, they were expensive so you didn’t get them after every workout like other agents. Protein shakes turned into questions about different eras, those questions turned into movie marathons on your days off.

This was when the cuddling began, all the blankets were getting washed because Sam spilled his coffee somehow across all of them. You and Bucky were working through old westerns, it was your third movie and the lack of blankets caused you to shiver. Bucky picked up on it and tapped the spot beside him, you moved closer and soon your head was against this chest and his right arm was around your shoulder. When the movies got redundant and the music was the same Bucky slowly started to slouch down the couch, pulling you down with him. Both arms were pulling you into his side, there was no way you could get out on your own. When you heard snoring coming from above you, it didn’t take long for you to fall asleep as well, pushing your head right into his neck to smell his body wash.

A few team members walked and snapped photos of the two of you, getting ugly angles on Bucky with his head back and his mouth slightly open. When you woke up the next day still on the couch Bucky was bright red, trying to slide away so he could run to his room. The lack of sleep you’d been getting made you crave more of his comfort, so as he tried to move away you stayed hugging him.

“Comfy…” you slurred as your head moved down to his chest, your hand locking together.

“We gotta get up,” his voice was shaky, he hadn’t been this close to a girl in years.

“No,” you whined like a child, nuzzling your face deeper into his chest.

A little while later Steve walked in, you could see him but you heard him freeze. “What are you doing?” he asked Bucky.

“We fell asleep, she’s real tired so…I’m letting her get some shut-eye,” Bucky’s hand made its way to your back and soothed you closer to sleep.

“I-I didn’t know you guys were close,” Steve’s voice had little to no emotion.

“Well,” Bucky sighed, “I just told her I wanted to get to know her better, and here we are.”

********

Your eyes were hardly open as you stood on the landing pad, the Jet was getting packed. A large jacket was thrown over your shoulders as you waited in the drizzle. The sun wasn’t up yet and neither were you, part of you was still lying in bed.

It was an emergency solo mission, there was a breakthrough in a case you thought ended months ago. It had nothing to do with Hydra, it was a trafficking circle that went underground after almost getting caught by you. Most of the women involved were teenagers, all of them just wanting to attend a normal university. You’d run into him once before, this trafficking ring played cat and mouse all the time. You had walked into his strip club and sat down near him, after a while, he came over. He knew who you were and visa versa, but the two of you just talked about the strip club and the expensive lights he had just installed. As you got up to leave he commented on you being the perfect person for a stripper, you wanted to make sure he knew you weren't messing around, so when you walked out and found the main console for all the lights, all it took was one touch and the entire room went dark. The console smoked for a while, your electricity frying all the hardware.

An agent gave you a nod, you began walking towards the ramp to walk up the jet but were stopped when you heard your name.

“Wait up!” the familiar voice called. You turned to see Bucky running up to you, “here, take this coffee.”

You slowly grabbed the travel mug, “it’s four in the morning, why are you up?”

“Something didn’t feel right so I went to check on you and you weren’t there,” Bucky panted, he had obviously been running for a while, “and I found an agent and they said you were leaving and I know you don’t like mornings so I made you a coffee.”

“Let’s go!” the pilot yelled.

“Thank you,” you ignored the interruption, “I really appreciate it.”

“Ya, it’s nothing” Bucky shrugged, “- I mean, I was something, like, I’m happy you have coffee but I’d do it all the time for you,” he quickly backtracked.

“You’re sweet,” you whispered before leaning up and leaving a kiss on his cheek. When you pulled away he was frozen but his face progressively got more red, and his ears were burning. “I’ll see you soon,” you turned and walked away.

“Ya…” was all he could breathe out, the shock still etched in his face.

As the jet took off you looked out the window to see Bucky still standing on the landing pad, you could see his blush from the air. His eyes looked forward as his left hand caressed his cheek where you had kissed it, a small bounce coming from him before running back inside.

********

The mission was quick, the trafficking ring had no idea you were coming so your ambush was quick and easy. The authorities were also thereafter you gave them a tip, you helped all the women get to women’s shelters after getting medical treatment.

“Let me see him,” you talked to the head office, he let you into the interrogation room.

Jacob ‘Scar’ Clowne was the owner of one of the biggest strip clubs in the city, they advertised their young women who were actually trafficked into the business. When you saw him sitting on the other side of the table he smiled at you, you had been chasing him for a long time.

“You finally caught me,” he smirked, “I’m proud.”

You didn’t even sit down, “I don’t need any congratulations,” you crossed your arms as you circled him, “I just needed to see you and know for sure that you were really locked up.”

“Well you see me,” Jacob said.

“Then my job here is done,” you reached out a pressed your palm to his shoulder, sending a shock through his entire body, not strong enough to kill or even hurt him; just wanting to throw him off.

********

But while your mission went great, Bucky was struggling back at the compound. Steve kept asking about your and his relationship and what it was, Bucky confessed to Steve that he liked you.

“I don’t know,” Bucky sighed, “I just want to be near here all the time, she makes me feel…soft,” Bucky giggled as he stared into space, “I miss her though.” Steve crossed his arms, “she’ll be back soon.”

Bucky’s nightmares were getting worse, he’d wake up in a cold sweat at the tail end of a scream. He’d walk into your room and announce himself but no one was there, the sleepiness would fade and he’d remember you were gone. To try and keep himself from breaking down because he was without you he’d lay in your bed, cuddle up to your pillows and try and remember what it was like for you to be cuddled next to him.

*******

The jet landed in the middle of the night and you slowly got out, making your way through Med Bay to get cleared and then to your bed. Your eyelids were closing as you walked, leaning against the wall to keep you upright.

Your room was still and quiet when you walked in, you could tell from the way your bed wasn’t made Bucky had been sleeping in your bed; you’d ask him about it tomorrow. Part of you wanted to wake him up and tell him you were home but the other half was too tired. Will the little energy you had left, you took a quick shower to wash off all the dirt and grime; saving you from changing your bedsheets tomorrow.

A lazy smile grew on your face when you stretched out on your bed, feeling the soft sheets hug your body. A few moans of relief left your lips as you curled into a ball, savouring the feeling of this comfort. Sleep came quickly as well, your exhaustion taking over very quickly.

When you woke up it was not the morning, it was still the nighttime. It didn’t take you long to register a weight behind you, your tiredness went away and you were back in mission mode.

“What the-” the voice spoke as you spun around with a ball of energy in your fist, you had pulled it back and were ready to land the punch, “it's Bucky!” he said quickly.

The power slowly died down and you lean over to turn on the lap, causing it to shine really bright for a few seconds before going back to normal. Bucky also looked tired, he was laying on his back with both hands in a surrendering position.

At this point you were fully exhausted, tears gathered in your eyes, “Bucky…” you sighed as you leaned forward, letting your head fall on his chest, both of his arms wrapped around you, “I told you to tell me you were laying with me.” the tear rolled onto his chest, all you wanted was to sleep.

“You wouldn’t wake up,” Bucky said sadly, “I tried to move you awake but you were out like a light, I thought you wouldn’t notice me because of how deeply you were sleeping.” His hand quickly brushed away another tear that had fallen.

“Oh,” you sighed and turned the lamp off, still laying on his chest.

“Oh,” he repeated, “we haven’t had a chance to cuddle like this before,” Bucky smiled as you curled around him, needing comfort.

“Yeah,” you smiled, “the whole ‘cuddle buddy’ thing didn’t really work out,” you laughed through the last tears of exhaustion.

“Well, I asked you to be my cuddle buddy because I wanted to get away from Steve, he was circling me all the time and I wanted some new friends,” Bucky’s hand rubbed your back, lulling you further into sleep.

“He just cares about you,” you muttered.

“I know,” Bucky was much more awake than you, “but I also wanted to be my own person and live my own life, Steve helped me get adjusted but you…” he paused and took a deep breath, “you were cool and I wanted to be like you, a badass superhero who owns a room when you walk in.”

“Bucky,” you began to act coy, a different set of tears collecting

“I’m serious,” he pushed your head so you were looking at him, “you’re the coolest, smartest, prettiest, smartest person I’ve ever met.” his bottom lip pouted out, “don’t cry,” he whispered.

“You said smartest twice,” you smiled and rubbed his stubble.

“I know,” he smirked, “but I want to say prettiest more often…if you’ll let me.”

“What do you mean?” you sat up a bit.

“We’ll talk in the morning,” Bucky giggled and pushed you down so you were laying on him, “but right now you need your beauty sleep- but that’s just called sleep for you.”

PART TWO 

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[sundayswiththeilluminati]

Some Divinity-related math I started typing in a reply but it got too long so it gets a post instead:

Assume each player contributes 1 point of damage. 

A fireteam of 6 therefore does 6 x 1 = 6.

Now take one player out, but add 25% to the others: 5 x 1.25 = 6.25, or ~105% of 6.

Change the buff to 15%: 5 x 1.15 = 5.75 ~ 95% of previous damage, a net swing of 10%.

To break exactly even (i.e. same damage with or without Div) the buff would need to be 20% (5 x 1.2 = 6) 

With a 15% buff, not having Div would have to cause each player to lose 5% of their damage to break even.

Whether aim can cause you to lose >5% of your damage depends a lot on *how* you’re doing damage. It depends on the burstiness of your damage, length of damage phase, the usefulness of AoE/DoT damage (remember Breach & Clear Anarchy?) and weirder factors like “are you using weapons that don’t care about crits (Xeno, Wardcliff, etc.)? Are you using weapons that give other advantages for hitting crits (Whisper, Hawkmoon, etc.)? Are you a Golden Gun/Nighthawk Hunter, for whom one missed shot might be 15% or more of your damage? Or are you a Nova Bomb warlock and your damage depends entirely on whether Big Happy Fun Ball goes for the right target?”

All of this math assumes each player does equal amounts of damage. In reality encounter design and player loadouts vary so much that it’s impossible to even say how often this assumption is true. For instance Kingsfall Day 1 a large chunk of our Warpriest boss phase damage was being put down by three Star-Eater/Golden Gun Hunters, so taking someone else off direct damage to run Div and ensure all of those shots hit would be an excellent investment even if Div only gave a 5% buff. By contrast we used Wardcliff for the sisters, which doesn’t even do precision damage; in that case a 15% Div buff, i.e. incurring a net 5% damage decrease, makes Div not worth it.

In conclusion: at a 25% buff, in all situations where Divinity gave a usable crit bubble for five attackers, it gave a net damage increase (i.e. was “worth it”). At a 15% buff, whether it is “worth it” becomes highly situational, dependent on factors like team composition and encounter design.

And now for the opinions section:

Do I like this change? Not really, no. I don’t feel that Divinity was distorting encounter design in a significant way. Oh, they took it into account like they do all meta-relevant weapons, but it certainly wasn’t a back-breaker like Gjally or Whisper. That “usable crit bubble for five attackers” clause cuts out a lot of bosses. In the last two new raids Div has only been useful in a single encounter each. Even in Kingsfall, which followed the old “sack of HP” design philosophy, it’s only useful in two encounters (Warpriest and Oryx). Raiding - okay, “six-player pinnacle activities” - is Div’s only use-case; it’s not like it rules the roost in every situation. The hitboxes of Destiny bosses aren’t known for their consistency, either - ever tried to hit Taniks in the head? Div is also a one-person weapon, not a mandate for an entire fireteam. I just don’t believe it’s a problem that needed addressing. 

Then again, I’m not Bungie. I don’t know how much Divinity has messed with encounter design behind the scenes, or what they have planned that might be disrupted by it. Maybe this is like the Sleeper ricochet nerf where they know it’s going to screw with stuff that hasn’t yet been released.

Anyone implying that hyper-precise aim should be a required skill for Destiny content, even extremely high-level Destiny content, can go play CoD and leave the rest of us the hell alone. Even leaving aside the issue of how aim is a “skill” with hard physical limits that are a lot more common and restrictive than people realize, the fact is: Destiny is not a twitch shooter. It will never be a twitch shooter. It literally can’t be a twitch shooter, because of how its netcode works. Destiny does not have “dedicated servers” the way games like CoD or Battlefront do. Why do you think the PvP players are always bitching about how they totally hit that shot? Its server architecture will always cause a certain level of network latency, and that level is much higher than “pure FPS” games - higher than I think a lot of people who play other online multiplayer games realize. That constrains how fast any player can be expected to act or react. You can’t hit perfect shots if the visual on your screen is literally inaccurate. Yes, I do think it’s reasonable to ask for a certain base level of aim in content like Day 1 raids. But success should never be conditioned on near-perfect aim, if only because Destiny literally doesn’t work like that. Remember the hideous rubberbanding on Atraks damage in DSC Day 1? Remember the year of Whisper, where you were SOL if you couldn’t hit three rapid precision shots on a moving target? 

Do you really want to combine those things?? 

You do not.