#Save me 80's animes

[witchandhuntress]

[brie-annwyl]

Bruce Wayne ideas because I can!

Bruce’s biggest fear is his children being hurt or dying of something he has no control over. Like no matter how much money he drains from his accounts, he cannot save them. This would be if his kids were diagnosed with a chronic illness that would eventually kill them or how Jason was originally supposed to die in the 80’s (AIDS).

Bruce is desperately touch starved but doesn’t know how to ask for affection, and obviously none of his kids (except for Cass) can read him well enough to know what he wants.

Bruce can only communicate when he’s being drugged by truth serum or fear toxin, it’s during a trip on truth serum that Bruce openly admits to Dick that he has adoption forms already signed in his office but he didn’t want to overstep. (If Bruce let out a few tears when he saw forms signed by Dick on his bedside table, no one would know)

Bruce has gotten Alfred a Father’s Day gift every year since he was 7 but hasn’t started giving them to him until Dick gave him one. Alfred definitely found the room Bruce put all of the unused presents, he may or may not have cried too.

Bruce gets his kids gifts on Father’s Day because “I wouldn’t be celebrating today if it wasn’t for you.”

Bruce CAN actually cook okay but purposely does it shitty so Alfred feels he still has a purpose in the manor.

Bruce doesn’t know how to properly apologize to his kids so he does the rich parent thing and uses his money. For Dick he will make donations to elephant charities and orphanages. For Jason he will give Crime Alley children scholarships to go to school and will donate 1st edition classic literature to the library Jason frequents. For Tim he invests in the Photography program and technology programs at his school. For Damian he will rent out art museums in Gotham and Manhattan for the day and will take him there for the day (a new animal will show up in the manor as well). For Steph (yes Steph is his child to me, deal with it.) he will make accessories (batarangs, etc) purple. Once he went out in a purple Batman suit whilst on patrol with spoiler. Cass got a ballet studio in the manor, like mans DEADASS got Clark’s kyptonian(?) ass to come help him too. Duke gets upgrades to his suits, random little gifts left in his room (could be something simple like chocolate or one time Bruce bought him an entire gaming set up.)

[milk-breadx]

with a ring pop, i'll get down on one knee - m. s.

mike schmidt x gn!reader

Fluff! ??? to Fiancés?!

A late night trip and you three stop by a convenience store. Abby finally gives you two the push you needed.

word count: 1,440 words

warnings: movie spoilers?

"Okay, okay, okay. 80's or 50's?"

"Really? These are the best options?"

"We've been here for a while, I think we've exhausted all other interesting options." You reach for another bottle of soda, opening it and letting the fizz settle down before taking a sip. "Now, pick,"

The two of you were perched on top of the trunk of his car. Very late at night, the nearest landmark being a nearby convenience store where you bought some chips and drinks to enjoy while you wait 'till you both weren't feeling droopy to continue your road trip. Abby, sound asleep at the back seat, who said she wanted to "stay up with you guys", was very eager to go on this trip. Especially since she rarely gets to go out with you and her big brother. Poor thing fell asleep and you didn't have the heart to wake her, so Mike stayed to watch her while you went to purchase some refreshments. Now, at the back of his car, you two talked nonsense for what felt like forever.

"Uhh, the latter." He takes a chip from the bag and eats it, all the while your eyebrows furrow at his answer. 

"Really?" The tone was laced with disbelief and you eagerly wait for his defense.

"What? You'd rather pick the 80's?"

"Uh, yeah? against the 50's who wouldn't?" You playfully nudge him on the shoulder, unknowingly bringing up his memories from his last job as a night guard at the pizza place. Your eyes widened when the realization hit you. "...Oh."

"Idiot." Mike flicks your forehead and you raise your palm to cover it after he does. You remembered that morning at the hospital when you received his call and rushed there only to find him injured, officer Vanessa unconscious, and Abby scared to leave his side. You could've sworn you almost passed out after hearing what happened a few hours before.

Ghost children possessing robot animals? Murderer who wears a yellow bunny suit? It all sounded funny but the serious looks in their eyes and their very REAL injuries made you believe them. Since then, you've been more active in helping them out. Whether it be moving in with them to help with the bills and keeping Abby company while Mike's out to look for a job or planning something for the three of you to enjoy, all to get them to recover and forget the whole ordeal about the pizzeria.

So now, 7 months after the incident, Mike got a job, and you both saved up some money to go on a trip for the weekend.

"I didn't realize! Sorry!" You sheepishly replied and Mike gave a small laugh. That moment made you pause for a bit. Mike had no time to relax for a long time, so it was refreshing to see him smile and laugh.

"When do you think we should get going? It's probably midnight by now and I am dying to sleep. Y'know? While you drive us the rest of the way there." He says and you playfully rolled your eyes at him.

"Hey! You said you were gonna stay up with me like I stayed up when you drove!" Mike shakes head and continues eating his chips. 

"No, no, I don't remember making that kind of agreement." A playful smirk starts making its way to his face. "I do recall you insisting to stay awake with me even though I said you should go to sleep," This little-

"Yeah! Because we're traveling at night, can't have us end up in a ditch somewhere?!"

The car door opens and shuts. Turning around, you see Abby rubbing her eyes as she makes her way towards both of you. Mike calls out to her and helps her sit in between the two of you.

"Why didn't you wake me up?" Her droopy eyes turn to you and then to Mike.

"You looked like you were deeply asleep. Sorry, did we wake you?" Grabbing a cold bottle of water, bought specifically for Abby, you tried opening it. Noticing this, Mike grabs the bottle and opens it before handing it to his sister. You whispered "I loosened it for you" to him before Abby speaks again.

"No. But are we there yet?"

"Not yet. We stopped here because we were getting sleepy and wanted to rest for a bit before we go." You handed her the plastic bag that had 2 bags of chips left for her to pick. "You excited to be there already?"

She picks one from the bag and opens it, grabbing a chip and eating it. "Yeah. Can we go on more trips soon?"

You and Mike share a look, unsure how to respond, so he answers for you. "We'll see, Abs,"

She doesn't respond to that. Instead, she asks you another question. "Are you going to keep staying with us? I like when you're around."

"Of course. I'll be here until Mike kicks me out." She chuckles at your response before turning to Mike. "You're not gonna kick them out, are you?"

"We'll see, Abs."

You playfully glare at him and he shrugs. 

"Why don't you two just get married?"

Abby continues to eat, unaware how her question sounded to the both of you, but aware of your unique kind of friendship where borderline lovers was the most appropriate thing to actually call what you and Mike had. The fumble of words from you two comes quick but Abby doesn't take back her suggestion.

"You two have known each other for years and we've been living together for months now. I know you two have arguments sometimes, but you always work it out." She whispers the last part but the both of you hear it clear as day. "Plus you said you like each other-"

Two voices yelled out, "Abby!" You and Mike look at each other, the realization setting in that she's right. When you two looked away, silence ensued. Mike was the first to speak. "Maybe...maybe marriage... is too..."

"Fast?"

"Yeah,"

Abby's smile grows but she's tired of waiting for the two of you awkwardly fumble your words and just wants the two of you to get together. Yes, she's noticed the way you take care of her and Mike and how Mike takes care of you. How the house has been much livelier with you around and how well the three of you have been since living under the same roof.

Mike's also noticed how much better the two of them have been since you've gotten closer to them. He can't deny he's embarrassed but also flustered when the parents of Abby's classmates mistaken the both of you as her parents--A story for another time. He's open to the idea. Looking back to the times you two stayed up to watch some popular sitcom that was playing on the TV or messing up a new dish you three wanted to try, Mike really felt at ease those days. And the fact that Abby loves you too is an added bonus.

"Just propose already! You can get married years from now, just ask them already!" Abby grabs his shirt and you laugh as you see her futile attempt to shake him. 

Mike sees you and realizes he loves you. He cherishes you and wants nothing more than to see you smile and laugh over and over again. To be part of your life for the rest of his.

"Okay, okay, Abby stop." He grabs a hold of her hands before looking at you. "Will you-"

"You already don't have a ring, at least get down on one knee!" You laugh again at Abby.

Mike sighs and is ready to get up and down on the ground when he quickly runs to the convenience store. You and Abby share a look of confusion until he returns, unwrapping something in his hands. You couldn't see what it is until he got down on one knee and presented it to you.

He says your name softly and you get down from the trunk in front of him, smiling at the ring pop he's proposing with. "Will you marry me?"

You nod, giving him a small yes and let him put the ring pop on your ring finger. Too excited, Abby gets down and hugs you both so hard, you three almost topple over. But none of you cared. Abby was happy to see you and her big brother finally get together. Mike, relieved you said yes and was willing to be with him. You, happy to have these two brighten up your life.

I swear I was gonna finish that ushijima fanfic first but plans have changed and I have a new husband(a whole series was planned out in my delulu head)-

work by milk-breadx. DO NOT COPY/REPOST/MODIFY WORKS WITHOUT PERMISSION

[base0h]

If you were in the hospital

a/n - I’m in the hospital so this is absolutely perfect 💪 kinda self indulgent sorry

Warnings ⚠️ - g/n reader, sick reader, modern au, I bully kidd even when I’m sick (don’t worry I’m not too sick to bully him)

- this asshole wouldn’t fit through the damn doorway 💀 and he would be the person the other patients were complaining about

- “Um. Nurse? There’s this red haired guy who threatened to kill me earlier?” -random innocent person

- jokes aside, he would stay with you and get you whatever you need. Aggressively.

- “Hey Kidd, I need some water.”

- “NURSE I NEED SOME FUCKING WATER.”

- “Kidd! Ask nicely-!”

- “I NEED SOME FUCKING WATER PLEASE.”

- poor you 😭

- he would try and sleep with you on the bed but his fat ass can’t fit 💀 bro is too big for that

- he would also invite killer if that’s ok with you, killer is a better caretaker than him obviously

- he would be helping the nurses politely and making sure you were comfortable

- Kidd would literally threaten the doctor to come and check on you or else he’d kill his family 😭😭😭😭 pls save this doctor

- when the room gets super quiet, he’d ask the literal most random ass questions so it doesn’t get awkward but it gets more awkward after he asks them

- “Does your ass itch? Mine does.”

- “WTF KIDD?!”

- 💀💀💀💀

- He snores really loud so you’re probably not going to sleep very well, but knowing he’s there with you is comforting at least

- bro wakes up the other patients in other rooms 💀

- if Kidd is there, killer’s there too- they’re inseparable and also Kidd would die if killer and you weren’t there trying to keep this dumbass alive

- killer would be telling Kidd to shut up every five seconds as he should

- all in all, a 0/10 hospital experience, but a 10/10 emotional support experience 👍

- let’s just say this time, he’s not your doctor

- trust me, he’d be there before you even arrive in the ambulance 💀 he has everything you need

- changes of clothes, your favorite blankets, water bottles, stuffed animals, movies, literally everything

- he’d be the one who’s talking with the nurses and telling them what to do 😭 the poor doctor became his subordinate

- it got kind of annoying, but he asks a TON of questions almost every minute or so

- “Are you feeling nauseated?”

- “Dizzy?”

- “Do you need to go to the bathroom?”

- “What’s your name, and where are you right now?”

- yeah he’s just worried, go along with it

- he’s the type of guy to literally never leave and just stare at you the entire time, it’s creepy

- “Law, you staring at me is not helping.”

- “I- wha-?! Fine. I’m just worried y/n.”

- “Okok! Sorry- you can stare at me- don’t sulk and turn emo in the corner!”

- “I’m not EMO!”

- “Yeah you kinda are.”

- Law is the definition of emo 💀 he can’t lie about it, and he can’t hide it, it’s just natural

- even if you don’t want to, he’s going to help you walk around the hospital room, just to keep the blood flow going

- he knows that even though you’re not supposed to move around a lot, walking a little bit is good

- law will not sleep at all- he will continue to stare at you as you sleep, it’s creepy 😭

- literally law: 👁️ _ 👁️

- it’s amazing how you were able to sleep with him staring through your soul, I commend you for that

- my man is THE WORST when it comes to you getting sick

- he looks everything up on google and gets the worst results

- “S/o has a horrible stomachache.”

- “Cancer.” -google

- “S/o feels dizzy.”

- “Cancer.” -google

- oml poor ace 😭

- he rushed you to the ER, and almost crashed into 80 cars on the way 💀

- “MOVE OUTTA THE WAY-! Y/N IS SICK MOVE IT!”

- trust me, they moved out of the way

- the doctors hate him because he thinks you have some crazy disease when in reality you just have a really bad flu

- “I’m telling you! It’s appendicitis!”

- “Sir- it’s the flu- please calm down.”

- “I’M CALM.”

- no he’s not 😭

- very confused by the machines

- “IS THAT LIFE SUPPORT?! I KNEW IT! YOU’RE DYING! AHHHHHHHHHHH!”

- “Ace. It’s an IV. It’s so I don’t get dehydrated.”

- “LIFE SUPPORT BECAUSE YOU’RE DEHYDRATED?! ASVJSBDJENDINFKFNFJF!”

- called sabo and started freaking out to him 💀

- “SABO. Y/N IS DYING WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO?!”

- “Ace I’m sure y/n is not dying. Calm down.”

- “WHY IS EVERYONE TELLING ME TO CALM DOWN?! I’M SO CALM RIGHT NOW?”

- you sure abt that ace?

- I can confirm that he is never calm when it comes to your health and safety

- he wouldn’t know what to do, but he’d follow you and stay with you for the entire time, so don’t worry about that

- he’s like law, and would stare at you literally every second that you’re there

- “Zoro you don’t have to stare.”

- “I dunno- what if you start having a stroke?!”

- “I’M NOT OLD IDIOT!”

- my guy doesn’t know that you’re not an old, senile elderly person 💀

- he would fall asleep on you while holding your hand, since he’s been so worried, it kind of exhausts him

- it’s adorable though

- he snores, but it’s cute that he fell asleep holding your hand just tight enough to let you know he’s there with you 💜

- if you ever needed help getting some water, a heat pack for your stomach, or literally anything? He’s got you covered

- but if he has to leave your room for it he might not come back. Ever.

- as you were watching tv about some crash a couple miles away, you saw a green haired guy in the background that looked oddly familiar

- he seemed to be buying a water from a vending machine

- when he turned around you almost broke the tv remote in half

- “ZORO?!”

- nah this idiot 💀 y/n I suggest you put some kind of leash on him

a/n - zoro needs to eat the gps gps no mi 😭

[gallusrostromegalus]

Mistake for Unohana or Bound for Zaraki?

WhyNotBoth?dotPng

(M for Mature under the cut)

---

"...Do you ever regret taking a name?" Unohana asks out of the blue one night.

Zaraki cracks open his eye from where he'd nearly been asleep beside her. She was flat on her back beside him, still naked save for the hip harness from their earlier activities, staring up at the ceiling. Pondering.

" 'S been a pain in the ass more'n a few times but no. No, I'd do it again." He shrugged, rolling onto his side with a bit of a wince and propping himself up on his elbow, looking down at her. "...Why?"

Unohana noted the faint wince. "I told you to tell me if it was too much." She grumbled, prodding at his hip with her knee and refusing to make eye contact.

"It wasn't, I'm just sore from a good workout." he grinned, rolling over her and kissing along her collarbone. "Why d'ya ask though?" He hummed into her neck.

She sighed, slow and melancholy, before reaching up to run her fingers through his hair. It wasn't the first time she'd done this- vulnerability never came easy to those who lived and died by the blade -but sometimes, after she'd taken her pleasure and was still a little drunk with the rush of euphoria, and reassured by his own pleasure from submitting to her, there was a brief window where she could have her heart out to breathe.

"You talked about Kiko'o once. How taking a name was the thing that bound him to the execution grounds. I just wonder if you ever miss... not being human, I guess?" She mumbled, carding her fingers through his hair, letting him settle over her, faces hidden in each other's shoulders.

"There were a coupl'a steps between him taking the name and being trapped on that hill." Zaraki pointed out, eyes closed, ear to her pulse. " 's far as 'not being human'- I'm not entirely sure I am one."

"Oh right- raised by The Eagles." she nodded.

"No, not that- Like uncle Kiko'o, takin' a name didn't make me Not An Eagle- and we were both people before we had names. Not humans, but human ain't the end of people." He murmured, breathing her in. Salty and a little bitter, like every human, but a rich, meaty undertone- Iron, from blood and bone. Whether it was blood from the bodies in the hospital or the bone meal from the garden, he wasn't sure, and there was no real difference between the two. "...But there was a time when I wasn't a person. Something else. Simpler. Clearer."

"Yeah?" She asked, turning her face towards him a fraction of an inch.

Zaraki was quiet for a while.

"...I don't remember." He admitted. "It was... It was before I died- in the living world. I was something else. Not a person. Not an animal neither. Can't remember what though."

"...Do you miss it?" She asked, palms on his shoulders now.

"Hard to miss what I can't remember." he shrugged, kissing her collarbone. "Does bug me sometimes. Not knowin'."

"Hm." She nodded.

A few moments of silence, her fingertips tracing shapes across his shoulders.

"...You?" he finally ventured. "Which name do you regret?"

She huffed, an unvocalized laugh. "Neither, not exactly."

"No, that's not right." she decided a minute later. "If there's a name I regret it isn't Yachiru or Retsu. It's Unohana." She said, something of a smile in her voice, pleased to have realized this.

"Hm?" He asked, not moving from his position, not when he could feel all of her along his body, cool and slack, like water.

"There was a period where- I don't remember my time in the Living World either, just that I died badly. When I reincarnated, out in south 80? I didn't... I didn't become a person again. Not right away." She explained, stumbling a bit. Not quite nervous, but not coming easily either. "There was a while where I was just. Wandering around. Naked. Woke up when I was rested and went to sleep when I was tired. Ate when I was hungry, and wandered as I pleased. No thoughts, only the impulsive pursuit of happiness. I wasn't even an animal, more like- part of the landscape?"

"Did you catch it?" Zaraki asked, listening to her words with one ear and her pulse with the other. "The happiness you were chasing?"

"...I did. Many times." She smiled. "I can't call it Idyllic, I was half-starved most of the time and full of parasites. But there were so many moments of genuine, uncomplicated pleasure. I miss them."

"So why'd you take the name Unohana?" he asked, hand drifting down her side to the curve of her hip.

"I don't know that I took it, not the way you took Kenpachi." She hummed, folding her leg in response to his touch, encouraging him. "I think it was given to me, when I was alive. But I started using it again when I started hanging around with people again, especially The Old Man."

"Hm." Zaraki nodded, hand sliding over the curve of her ass, thumb under the hip harness. "You regret it?"

"Sometimes." She hummed, arching her back and dragging her toes up the back of his thigh. "...But lately, not so much."

"No?" he grinned, squeezing her a bit and kissing up under her ear.

"I like my name a lot better the way you say it." She purred, digging her fingers into his shoulders and making him growl with pleasure.

"Rrrrretsu..." He purred. "-Really glad you like that name. Be real weird for me to moan the other one." he laughed, rolling onto his back, pulling her up onto his chest with him.

"Hah!" She barked, sitting up and straddling his abdomen, gazing down at him with the omniscient benevolence of a God. "Not to make light of your own contribution to the event, but I do think I would have become Retsu eventually."

"I wondered." he hummed, hands on her hips. "Yer too smart for yer own good, you'd get bored bein' Kenpachi after a while."

"That's how we met." She smiled, hands on his chest. "I was only out routing bandits in North 80 because I was bored and out of satisfactory opponents here."

It was his turn to laugh, far too loud, but genuinely pleased. "And did you find it? Satisfaction?" He teased.

"If I didn't know better, I'd think you were fishing for compliments." She mock-scolded him.

"Look, if you can like how your name sounds in my voice, I can like how 'Good Boy' sounds in yours." he grinned, pushing himself up on his elbows to kiss her.

"Hm." She smiled, returning the kiss then pulling back to study his face, hands on his jaw to hold him in place. "I suppose it's the social bondage of having a name that annoys me. Having to bite my tongue to keep the peace begins to feel like a ball gag after a while."

"See if I didn't know better, I'd think you were pokin' me to wax poetic about how much I like bein' tied up." Kenpachi grinned.

"...Maybe I am." Restu smirked, letting go if his jaw and pushing him back down. "Maybe it'll make me feel better about having a name if you tell me how you get off on it?"

"MMMmmmm, you know I can't refuse that." he purred, allowing her to manhandle him- obediently folding his arms up behind his head as she stretched forward, fingers digging into the sides of his ribcage. "Love the way it commands me, Y'know? I got a name, so you've got the power to make me come whenever you call."

"Tstch!" She laughed, slapping his chest, which only made him purr and writhe under her. "Be serious."

"I am!" he protested. "I'm not kiddin' that it feels just as good to feel you in my brain as it does to feel you inside my body." He smirked, flexing his hip so the harness on her hips jingled.

"More'n that- Fuck, I hate having to bite my tongue at meetings too, and it does feel like somethin' in my mouth- but you know damn well I wont do that for anyone else. You've heard me mouth off at Ginrei or the old man, and if Shunsui wants me to keep a civil tongue around his mother-in-law he can keep that ugly bitch on a leash."

Retsu giggled, lying down on his chest. "So you feel it too- the heavyness of taboo on your tongue, the way conventions and manners pull on your body? Doesn't it choke?" She asked, hand sliding up his chest, over his collarbone and under the tight choker of his Eyepatch.

"Feel it all over an' 'specially around my throat, Love." He murmured, rolling his head back and sighing happily. "Annoying as hell, unless it's for your sake. From you, I'd like it tighter. For you, I'll stay bound up however you want for as long as you like."

"...You really know how to charm a girl, don't you?" Retsu sighed fondly, squeezing his throat under the choker and feeling him shiver with pleasure beneath her.

"Didn't spend two and a half decades as the most expensive whore in the afterlife's best brothel for nothin'." Kenpachi grinned. "But it's all yours, Love. However you'd like me."

"However I'd like you, hm?" Retsu grinned, canines appearing along with carnal desires. She pulled herself up a bit, kissing up his throat and nipping at his ear. "I think I'd like you just how you are, actually." "Bakudo 99: Kin." She whispered, and Kenpachi shuddered as her Reiatsu engulfed him, manifesting as bands of spiritual fabric, wrapping around him, binding him in place- Flat on his back, torso exposed, legs folded and spread, and arms bound behind his head.

"Yes. I want you just as you are-" She purred as the final binds wrapped around his head, blindfolding him. "-for as long as it takes for me to find satisfaction again."

"Yes, My Lady." Kenpachi grinned, ecstatic.

[monsters-conquer-the-world]

OOZEPUNK

WHAT IS OOZEPUNK?

Oozepunk is the term I'm coining for the microgenre of urban heroic sci-fi horror-fantasy that first exploded in the mid-80s with movies, shows, and comics like Ghostbusters, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, The Toxic Avenger, Who Framed Roger Rabbit, Hellboy, Street Sharks, and others. Lots of natural crossover with Biopunk and Cyberpunk, aesthetically and philosophically.

Your childhood trauma didn't let you forget Roger Rabbit heavily featured colorful nightmare slime, did it?

A ragtag gang of weirdos (often horribly mutated--more on that soon) band together to save a city that doesn't understand them. Grimy sewers, abandoned buildings and graffiti'd brick walls are lit up by neon lights, streams of mysterious, glowing goo and/or the unearthly lights of futuristic particle weapons--ideally all of the above!

Beyond the "cracked concrete and gutters full of liquid plutonium" aesthetic, Oozepunk prankishly asks "What if catastrophic aberrations of science, particularly DUMPING TOXIC FUCKING WASTE STRAIGHT INTO THE ENVIRONMENT created fucked-up monsters... but they're HEROIC fucked-up monsters!" These catastrophic aberrations of science grant the heroes incredible powers, but COST them their place in human society. (Ghostbusters and Roger Rabbit eschew character mutation in favor of discovering that the undead and olde tymey cartoons are real [and exploitable!], respectively. 'Busters and 'Toon sympathizers alike are treated like insane idiots and/or frauds in their respective universes.)

Oozepunk heroes are challenged not only by strange supernatural beings, but by human society itself. The Ghostbusters battle with local politicians as much as they do the undead. In the recent (and delightful) TMNT: Mutant Mayhem, Splinter warns the Turtles of humans and their obsession with "milking" mutants for their blood--on top of the villainous mutants they're trying to thwart!

Crank up the creep factor in Oozepunk and you get awesome anti-establishment goo-horror like 1988's The Blob, The Stuff, Street Trash, and probably a bunch more. Toxic Avenger is a batshit crazy splatter-comedy (i.e. classic Troma)... and still garnered sequels, a kid's cartoon and toyline!

And there's a Shredder's Revenge-style Crusaders beat-em-up coming out next year??

This looks dope as shit

Ghostbusters and TMNT are the only current, "evergreen" (or radioactive green!) Oozepunk franchises I can think of off the top of my head, but Oozepunk elements are buried in almost all of the stories and settings I love the most. Heroic kaiju like King Kong, Godzilla and Gamera paved the way for our freaky friends, but so did comics characters like Fantastic Four's Ben "The Thing" Grimm, The Hulk and Swamp Thing. Hell, I think I blame SESAME STREET of all things for starting me down the Oozepunk path.

Surprise! I've loved screaming trash monsters with secret hearts of gold since I was a fucking baby, and they've ALWAYS been there for me!

But it's not just Oscar, Sesame Street as a whole is a proto-Oozepunk utopia, years before the big Ooze-splosion of the 80s. Muppets, monsters, talking animals and chill humans all live and work together to scrape by with a little dignity in a gritty-but-wholesome urban world!

Sesame Street, a decades-long reminder that educational childrens' programming can and SHOULD be cool as hell looking and loaded with all kinds of friendly mutant freakuloids.

OOZEPUNK! Whaddya think?

[cosmicjoke]

Alright... okay... I just... need a moment.

Fuck, I'm emotional. I'm trying to gather my thoughts, but it's difficult. So I'm going to try my best.

First, I just want to say thank you, thank you, thank you to everyone involved in the creation of this anime, of this story, of this masterful, masterful piece of art. The animators, the composers, the writers, the voice actors, the directors, the producers, just, everyone. And most especially, to Hajim Isayama, who, without doubt, has created one of the greatest stories ever told.

And with that said, I'm just going to say this. "Attack on Titan" is, in my opinion, the greatest show ever made. I mean that, sincerely, and with all my heart. It's the greatest show, and one of the greatest stories, of all time. It's truly a masterpiece. A pillar of great art. I don't think that's hyperbole. I think that's absolutely true.

I don't even know where to start.

I'm just blown away. Completely blown away.

Ahh, well, I guess I'll just start by talking about some of the changes that were made, and what wasn't, and how much I appreciate both. I knew they would stick with the overall story and not change the ending, and I'm so glad they didn't, because it was always the right ending. I don't care what anyone says, what anyone's criticisms are. This was always, always, always the right ending.

The obviously biggest change was the conversation between Armin and Eren near the end, and I think, given the controversy caused by this particular moment in the manga, I'm not surprised, and I think they did an excellent job of clarifying what Armin actually meant, and most importantly, that he wasn't ever condoning Eren's actions. That they had Armin instead take on and shoulder the responsibility of Eren's actions, in a show of love and friendship to Eren, was incredibly moving and gut-wrenching at the same time. That Armin blamed himself for what Eren did as much as Eren himself, and said that they would be together again someday, in hell, was actually incredibly shocking to me. But then, it makes perfect sense for Armin's character. Armin, who from the very beginning understood and accepted the bleak reality of war, of having to abandon one's humanity in order to accomplish victory. Armin's never shied away from who he really is, or what he's capable of, or tried to console himself with an idealized self-image. It doesn't surprise me that he blames himself for Eren's actions, or takes on as much responsibility for them as he places on Eren. Though one could argue all day against Armin's self-condemnation, I think it makes perfect sense for his character. I also adore how they really clarified and left no room for doubt as to the motivation behind Eren's actions. He just flat out admits at the end that it was because he wanted to "see this sight", meaning a world completely devoid of humanity, of life. He admits to Armin that he's a "slave to freedom", that this outcome came about because of who he is and for no other reason. Not to make the alliance into heroes, not to save Paradis. It was because Eren couldn't accept a concept of freedom beyond what he'd seen in Armin's book. Because, as he says of himself, he was an idiot who came into power. 80% of the world's population died because of that. But as Historia also admits in the end, it's also a result of ALL their choices. I always have maintained that AoT is a cautionary tale of what happens when we blame and persecute and hold accountable people for the sins of the past. Eren, an idiot, only came into that power to begin with because of Marley's persecution of the Eldian's, continuing to punish the Eldian people for the crimes of their ancestors. Indeed, Historia was correct. It was a culmination of all of their choices. Violence begetting more violence, and on and on the cycle continues.

The Jeagerist's created an army out of fear of reprisals from what remains of the outside world, but in doing so, they sealed their own fate. In becoming so hostile to begin with, they ensured those reprisals. That's the great irony. They formed an army to protect themselves, they became a hostile nation, an isolationist nation, and in the end, it lead directly to them being destroyed. As Armin tells Eren, his violence and desire to see a world wiped clean of humanity leaves them with nothing but the lesson of kill or be killed. It leaves nothing but a legacy of continued violence. That's the whole point of this story, of course. That violence only ever leads to more violence. Even when we don't have a choice, even when we're backed into a corner and there's no way out but to fight, even when it's the right and only choice. That's the tragedy of violence. That's the tragedy of the world. That's the tragedy of humanity. It's not that violence is always wrong. Violence isn't always wrong, but it's always tragic, and it always only leads to tragedy. Armin's condemnation of Eren and his actions here, telling him that he's robbed the world of even the small hope of one day understanding one another, that's the condemnation of Eren's violence, the condemnation of the cycle of violence. He pushed Paradis toward armament through his actions, but so did the rest of the world. People will always fight one another. There will always be war as long as there are people. The only way there won't be war is if there are no people, as Armin says, and that's the biggest joke of all. There's no such thing as lasting peace. Paradis meets its demise in the very end because it falls to the same trap, the same cycle of violence, the same cycle of continued hate that drives all war and that, saddest of all, is intrinsic to the human condition. Violence is intrinsic to the human condition, and to nature itself. In the end, Paradis brings about it's own demise, just as, in the end, Marley and all those who persecuted the Eldian's, brought about theirs. This is an anti-war story. That's what it's always been. Anyone who says otherwise is a fool. But it's also a story about the tragedy of humanity and the inescapability of our nature as a species.

So, okay, now, because I'm primarily a blog which talks about Levi, and because Levi is probably, far and away, my favorite character of all time, I have to talk about him.

What can I say?

Levi was the hero of this final episode. Of this final bow of what, again I repeat, is the greatest show I've ever seen, and one of the greatest stories ever told.

Levi is a hero.

First, if anyone, if I see anyone ever, ever, ever question Levi's commitment to humanity and to saving it ever again, after watching this episode, I will come down on them like a fucking bomb myself.

Levi saved humanity.

They all did, of course. They all contributed.

But Levi... Levi was the leader that saved humanity. He became the leader in that moment that humanity needed. For all the talk and accusations thrown Levi's way, of robbing humanity of it's greatest chance at survival in Erwin, by letting Erwin die, it was in a time of humanities greatest need that Levi stepped up and took the reigns and didn't let humanity fall.

Levi wasn't the strongest in this battle. He wasn't humanities strongest soldier anymore. He wasn't the most affective in battle, or able to single-handedly turn the tide of the battle, like he might once have been able to. But he didn't let anyone give up. He didn't let anyone give in. He didn't let anyone lose hope.

I've been saying this since the manga ended, but seeing it brought to life like this only drives it home all the more.

Levi rallied and organized and held together his soldiers when they were all ready to give up and give in. When his own body was ready to give in and give up, Levi's heart and will wouldn't. It was Levi who enabled Mikasa to deliver the final, killing blow to Eren by not giving in to despair or fear or grief when it became clear that everyone on the ground was going to turn into a pure titan. It was Levi who, in the end, fulfilled the dream of his fallen comrades of a world without titans, by keeping it together and giving out orders, by abandoning his own driving need to save lives, like he's always done, since the beginning, in order save more, in order to save the lives of people who had done nothing, in fact, but condemn and persecute him his whole life.

Levi is a hero. He's a pure hero. He has the purest heart of anyone. He's the best of them all.

And I think the change they made to Levi's final scene just drives that truth home all the more.

I'm not gonna' lie, I nearly burst into tears seeing what they did in Levi's last scene. To have him sitting there in his wheelchair, his body not even a fraction of what it had once been, but still finding a way to help people, to help, especially, children, again, it drives home without doubt what Levi is. A hero. To see him handing out candy to children, to see the happiness he finds in that simple act... Jesus Christ, I really don't even know what to say about this. It was maybe the most beautiful moment in the entire series. Shit, I'm gonna start crying just talking about it. To see him smile, again, at last, to see him truly at peace. He found a way to be a hero, even with his strength gone. He found a way to be a hero without having to be a weapon, because Levi's heroism was never in his strength. It was never because he was physically strong, or a weapon. It was never because being a hero was easy for him. It was because of his heart. Because his heart is the heart of a hero. His heart is the heart of someone who has only ever wanted to help and protect others. That he still wants to and does help people, despite already having given everything...

Yeah, don't nobody ever, EVER say to me again that Levi doesn't care about humanity. He helps even when he doesn't have to. Even when he deserves to be selfish.

He cares more than anyone.

Man, that's all I have for now. I'm pretty speechless about this episode. I'm just beyond words.

Greatest show ever. Not anime. Just any show, ever. One of the greatest pieces of cinema ever made. One of the greatest stories ever told, with some of the greatest characters to ever exist.

Thank you Hajime Isayama, for giving this gift to the world.

[sariels-world-ella]

Can we see more characters from UTY if they were in Sw!Fallenswap? (I think you're Ceroba design and AU's lore is very cool btw)

Sure and thanks! I'll even expand on each of them, though none of it is 100% canon to Sw!Fallenswap, and thought up quickly as they aren't canon.

I couldn't settle on a Azimuth Dalv design but I did make a pacifist route Starlo design, he reminds me of a power ranger for some reason? (It's probably the mask.)

I had to do some math to get it to fit in the Timeline, get everyone's ages and get Martlet's life expectancy and to get Dalv's persumed age by finding the life expectancy of a Fox Anthropomorphic (there is an equation I use to find life expectancies of all the Anthropomorphic races) to see if it lines up in the timeline for Kanako's grandparents to be alive in 1013, as that is the most notable year in the timeline where Anthropomorphics did kill a bunch of Undeads matching Fallen!Dalv's description on why he has beef with the Ketsukanes (though Dalv never mentioned a year). The life expectancy number came out to be 950, then by adding Ceroba's age of 39 (assuming either Ceroba or Chujin's parent(s) had their child near the end of their lifespan) minusing it by 1985, got me 996 which did check out timeline wise.

Character notes:

Clover Notes: Clover doesn't change much from their UTY appearance, changes are they are much more verbal, Clover can save and load, doesn't have Flowey/Temmie because Temmie wasn't made animate until the 90s and they carry around a Polaroid Camera (which was very popular in the 80s), which there are certain spots that you can take a picture of giving you the Achievement "Picture Perfect" and doing them all gives you the achievement "Photographer's Eye"

Clover will become a Myling with the other souls and kill Ultra Temmie in Chara's non-canon neutral ending still. Clover is one of the 11 characters known to be from Gen X.

Unlike Genocide UTY Clover, Genocide Fallen!Clover does die still, due to Sans ripping Clover's heart out and eating it before Clover was able to shoot Toriel, meaning the Clover’s Genocide Route in Sw!Fallenswap could technically be canon if it wasn't directly stated Sans only killed Patience, Bravery, and Perseverance.

The fact Sans was able to sneak up on Clover implies he was expecting Clover to show up, even though Clover managed to enter the castle undetected, so it's likely Dalv conversed with Sans beforehand.

Since Temmie didn't exist yet when Clover was alive, you can wait for Asgore to drop a rope for you gaining the Achievement “Patience is Virtue”, which will cause you to skip the Martlet fight and proceed like normal Undertale except you have to sneak out of ruins which is difficult but worth it as you also skip most of Snowdin as well, because Papyrus saves you from Sans and teleports Clover away,  Papyrus gives you a medallion and tells Clover to show it to Dalv and say “Papyrus sent you” which can skip the Dalv fight (if you so wish) which will get you straight to the portion of attempting to travel to Hotland, the medallion can actually also be used to instantly spare MOST random encounter enemies which will give you the achievement “VIP”

If you don't wait for Asgore to drop the rope the playthrough plays similarly to UTY, but without Flowey or Temmie, if you do a genocide route Dalv won't shapeshift into a wolf and swim you down the river, instead The Boatman (Wingding Gaster) does, but Clover still ends up falling off the dam, but instead of Sans causing a wave from striking a bone wall into the water, Wingding purposely knocks you off the dam knowing what you did.

Either way, you wash up on a Dunes’ shore on 1 HP, which makes the medallion very useful to have if you waited for Asgore to return and got the medallion from Papyrus as it can instantly spare most enemies, so you won't get killed by them before you reach a save point.

Martlet Notes: She's a hermit that lived in the ruins before they were abandoned, she met Chujin before and due to her age she is old enough to have met the Integrity soul who fell down in 1936. She likes jigsaw and logic puzzles, as well as reading textbooks.

She's the only known character from the Cavalier Generation. Her personality seems to be a blend of her original personality and Dalv's

Dalv notes:

Dalv (or Sir Alucard by Ceroba and Officer Alucard by Starlo) His personality is similar to his original and Martlet's, the most notable difference between his personality and UTY!Dalv’s personality is that Fallen!Dalv has much more of a spine when it comes to advocating for himself and speaking his mind, he is much more willing to stand his ground and overall is much more brave, he is also much more willing to use profanity, albeit not in English, usually in Romanian or Monstarian when speaking to another Monster (adult monster that is, as he doesn't swear at children).

Judging by the fact he is stationed in Snowdin but doesn't wear the Snowdin Guard Armor, means he was either off duty when he ran into Clover or not apart of the Snowdin police force, but he is also not wearing a deltarune so being off duty is more likely.

He has beef with The Ketsukanes due to Kanako's Grandparents role in the 1013 Mass Undead Racial Cleansing, but doesn't have that same resentment towards Kanako as she tried to right the wrongs. Judging by the fact Dalv mentioned having parents and a younger sibling, it means Dalv is either a traditional variant (parents are the Elden Variant) as Elden Variants are naturally spawned, or Ancient variant if his parents were Ancestral Undead (once Elves)

Dalv is seen to shapeshift into a bat and a wolf before, bat when trying to escape with Clover and when they dropped over a waterfall and a wolf when swimming in the river with Clover on his back to try to get to Hotland.

As a Vampire, like all Undeads, he does have telekinesis and teleportation, so in his fight Blue Soul Mode is used for some attacks. Instead of Puzzles in Snowdin, he sets up riddles due to his love of storytelling.

It’s implied Dalv likely conversed with Sans before the Azimuth Dalv fight due to the fact Sans was able to ambush Clover before Clover could kill Toriel, which isn't unlikely as they are both on the royal guard and Dalv seems to be on a first name basis with Sans as Dalv said “Sans, you're a tâmpit!" instead of “Sir Gaster, you're a tâmpit!” (tâmpit which in this case means "asshole" in Romanian) when Sans causes Dalv and Clover to get washed over the dam, this is notable because Royal Guards only refer to each other by first name if A.) They don't have one (which Sans does, it's “Gaster”) or B.) They are on frequent speaking terms outside of the Royal Guard, this means Dalv and Sans must converse frequently outside of guard duty to know each other's first names.

Genocide phases:

Dalv is in his normal form, and his fight is a harder version of his pacifist/neutral fight

When Dalv gets low on HP he injects something (either DETERMINATION or SPITE) into himself, which turns him into Azimuth Dalv

Once killed Dalv's Shade spawns, like all Shades in Sw!Fallenswap, it has high attack and defense but only one HP, meaning you have to do all the shots perfectly with the wild revolver to actually kill him, any mistake won't be enough damage to get through the Shade's Defense.

He seems to inject himself with either DETERMINATION or SPITE at the end of Genocide, due to the fact in that scenario DETERMINATION will turn a monster into a Draugr and races in the Undead Monster Type will not have that reaction to DETERMINATION but neither would SPITE as it creates a Shade after dying and doesn't put them into a temporary state, so it's unknown what caused that reaction, but it's still likely SPITE instead which explains why Dalv was able to handle it so easily and not melt as SPITE destroys light mana in a Monster’s soul while DETERMINATION melts it, but since Undead Souls have Dark Mana instead, SPITE doesn't harm their soul. It also explains why phase 3 Dalv is a Shade. It is also more likely to be SPITE instead of DETERMINATION, as that would be easier to acquire, only way Dalv would get his hands on DETERMINATION is if he extracted it from Undyne, though he does know her, Undyne would likely try to stop Clover herself. The way Dalv could get his hands on SPITE would be extracting it from Sans or another Undead, though Dalv did call Sans an asshole and Sans did cause a massive wave which caused Dalv and Clover to get washed over the dam and fall into the Dunes area in a Pacifist and neutral run, Sans would likely be willing to extract SPITE from himself to give to Dalv, and not go and fight Clover instead like Undyne would, as he is more likely to stay at New Home to defend Toriel which Sans does successfully in Clover's genocide run as he does very graphically and violently kill Clover.

Starlo Notes: he seems to work with Ceroba in some way, despite not being in the royal guard, he is either a part of the boomer generation or Silent generation in the case Starlo is a year older than Ceroba. Like his original counterpart, he had a crush on Ceroba and knew her since childhood, though unlike his UTY!Counterpart as he doesn't have this North Star Persona, he is more open about his nerdy side and seems to be rather intelligent when figuring out how to defeat the robots in Steamworks. Since Starlo has no attachment to Kanako's robots, killing Axis or Guardener will not abort the pacifist route, he's just relieved you made it out okay.

His personality is similar to UTY, but his temperament seems much more like UTY!Ceroba, he injected Chujin with the serum made from the Kindness Soul, because Chujin tricked Starlo into injecting Kanako's concoction into Chujin thinking it as harmless leaving Starlo into believing he accidentally killed Chujin, but he never told Ceroba this. Starlo also only tries to kill Clover as a mercy-kill-last-resort type thing because if Clover makes it to Toriel, Toriel will burn Clover alive resulting in a painful death, if Clover isn't handed over to Toriel, Clover will die of heart failure due to vitamin D deficiency, and if Clover somehow manages to kill Toriel the underground will possibly go into anarchy, so Starlo attempts to kill Clover in Pacifist route realizing these 3 outcomes.

Ceroba notes: Ceroba (or Sherif Ketsukane by Dalv) is an abrasive personality, and unlike UTY!Starlo she is affiliated with the Royal Guard, as Sherif and Dune's Police Chief are the same occupation in the Dunes region of the Underground, and unlike UTY!Starlo but like UTY!Ceroba, she has an antagonistic role. Ceroba will lash out at Clover if you kill Starlo, but Dalv will call her out as a hypocrite, as she was willing to condone murder of other people's loved ones, causing a short  altercation between the two, which Dalv does end up over powering Ceroba pushing her off the edge, which she survives after being found by some other royal guards.

Kanako Notes: Kanako was an intern, to whomever J.A River's Successor and Undyne's predecessor was and got cryogenically frozen, due to Undyne being non observant and the true lab access keycard being lost, it's unlikely Kanako will ever be found.

Kanako got her internship at 14 years old by submitting her idea of Steamworks to be a backup power supply if the core ever breaks, the robots were made in collaboration with a younger Undyne who was also an intern between 16-18 years old at the time.

Kanako wanted to make amends with Dalv Alucard as her ancestors killed his family during a massacre and wishes to right that wrong, which makes Kanako the only Ketsukane that Dalv doesn't have beef with.

Chujin notes: Very little is known about Chujin other than he tricked Starlo into administering the serum and that Chujin was a stay-at-home parent, we also know he's not a boss monster like he was in UTY, as Boss Monster is a specific race of Monster and not category. We also know like Ceroba and  unlike Kanako, he is unwilling to try to make amends for his ancestors wrongdoings in the 1013 Mass Undead Racial Cleansing, as implied by what Kanako said to Dalv, further supported by Ceroba's predisposition of hating Dalv. We can assume he had a lot of faith in Kanako's abilities as he was willing to try her concoction on himself, which ended his life and due to Undyne not being the Royal Scientist yet, he wasn't used in Undyne's experiments and died in hospice.

[theinquisitxor]

October Reading Wrap Up

October was a great reading month and I got through ten(!) books in the month. That's more than I've read in a while, so it felt good to be able to know I can still read that many. I read some spooky/halloweenish books, as well as continued a few series, and finished a series.

1.Son of the Shadows (Sevenwaters 2) by Juliet Marillier, 5/5 stars. I started the month with reading the second Sevenwaters book. Just like with book 1, I enjoyed this immensely, and I found the characters and storyline to be strong and engaging. This one is even more romance heavy than the first books. Adult historical fantasy

2.Paladin's Hope (Saint of Steel 3) by T. Kingfisher, 4.5/5 stars. Another good installment in this series and new mystery that our characters are faced with. This one was a bit shorter than the first two books, and I wish this was a little longer, but otherwise it was great as always! Adult fantasy romance

3.The Mother Tongue: English and How it Got That Way by Bill Bryson This was my nonfiction book for the month, and I read this on audio. Enjoyable, but I felt like it was a little dated. I've read other more recent books on linguistics, and enjoyed them more. Nonfiction.

4.Echo North by Joanna Ruth Mayer, 4/5 stars. This was an enjoyable YA fantasy, and a good blend of fairytales I really enjoy. I don't read a lot of YA anymore, but this reminded me of some of the 'older' YA that is really good. East of the Sun West of the Moon, batb, cupid & psyche retellings all blended together. The author also credits Robin McKinley, DWJ, and Edith Pattou as big inspirations, and I could tell. YA fantasy

5.Last Argument of Kings (First Law 3) by Joe Abercrombie, ?/5 stars. I honestly was so done reading this trilogy, and just wanted to know how it ended so I could just finish it. I skimmed most of it, and only read the Glokta chapters and the ending. This type of fantasy is 100% not for me. I only finished the series because my brother gifted me the boxed set (and he read them). Adult fantasy

6.I Who Have Never Known Men by Jacquline Harpman, 5/5 stars. This is a lesser known classic that's gotten some popularity recently. It's part dystopian, part science fiction, and reminded me a little of The Wall which I read earlier this year. Very poignant, dark, but an exploration of self and a woman on her own. This is translated from French!

7.A Sorceress Comes to Call by T. Kingfisher, 4/5 stars. Another good T Kingfisher fairy tale retelling (however this was quite loose on the retelling), but also dark, featuring child abuse and animal horror. But there is humor, and a good cast of adult characters trying to fix the situation, and I like how T Kingfisher writes competent adults.

8.Witch Week (Chrestomanci 3) by Diana Wynne Jones, 3/5 stars. I started this on audio, but finished with the physical book. Can't say I enjoyed this one as much as the first two. This just reminded me of how horrible middle school was! A good halloween time read though. Middle grade fantasy.

9.The Wolf in the Whale by Jordanna Max Brodsky, 4/5 stars. This is a historical fantasy that has been on my tbr since 2019. This is light on the fantasy elements, and about first contact between Inuit and Vikings in present-day Canada about 1000 years ago. Our main character is an Inuit shaman, and they and a viking have to team up to save the land and their peoples. Super detail rich and well written.

10. Graveyard Shift by ML Rio, 4/5 stars. A good read for Halloween, and excited to see that ML Rio is publishing again! A thriller about 5 people trying to discover who made a new grave in an abandoned graveyard. As someone who works in academia, I liked the academia element in this story, I only wish it was longer!

I'm on track to finish my Goodreads Reading Challenge this year, which is 80 books. Usually I get somewhere in the 90s, but not this year I guess. For Nov and December, I'm planning on finishing the Sevenwaters series, and Chrestomanci, so I'll be prioritizing those books.

November tbr:

The Scorpio Races (reread on audio)

Child of the Prophecy (Sevenwaters 3)

Heir to Sevenwaters (Sevenwaters 4)

Chrestomanci: The Magicians of Caprona (book 4)

Paladin's Fate (Saint of Steel 4)

Nonfiction

The Word for Woman is Wilderness

Cape Cod (on audio?)

The Virgin in the Garden

[missplayer30]

Sorry for the hiatus, but expect me to have more hiatus due to being busy with personal works. I wanted to do a Sonic movie 3 fanart to jump on the bandwagon, but maybe I could post it someday.

I wanted to make another SpongeBob Don Bluth.

In this context, why they're in their Musical/human style, I can imagine that at one point in this hypothetical movie, while SpongeBob and Sandy had to leave the ocean in order to save Bikini Bottom, an experiment turns them into humans (Which seems a lot more believable than them remaining animals when they want to save an entire underwater city of animals in Texas no less). And like a classic Disney movie, the two eventually falls in love and have a romantic duet together (This picture).

They sing this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FMpJzMj-d6E

I feel like Musical SpongeBob and Sandy would be great as Starboy and Asha.

I tried to make them like the Don Bluth humans with some Disney inspirations, one thing that personally bother me with the old 80's-90's animated Disney style movies is that the females are so pretty and even really attractive while the males are either too ugly, too manly or not enough palpable. I tried to make SpongeBo a little more "palpable" even if it kinda ruined the style I was going for (There are no "cute" and "midly handsome" male characters in any Don Bluth movies).

[commanderdazzle]

Movie Buffs, I need your help!

I'm looking for a movie and it's driving me insane! I have only vague memories of it because it was a borrowed VHS tape, and it's kinda stressing me out that I can't find this! I thought I had a decent lead but I finally watched it yesterday and it wasn't right, but one of the suggestions I got from Reddit wasn't right either?!

Here's what I know;

It had to be from the early 80's up to the mid 90's, since I watched it on tape in 1998.

2. It was definitely live-action with little to no animation.

3. But it's not Labyrinth, Neverending Story, or The Princess Bride.

4. The main scenes I remember are: a woman in a white dress being pursued by men on horseback, the same woman running through a snowy landscape, and the same woman falling in a pond and being rescued. This is very important because I have a distinct vision of her dress flowing and swirling in the water.

5. There were Unicorns? Or maybe just white horses? Involved.

Someone suggested Legend with Tom Cruise, Mia Sara, and Tim Curry, which was incredibly close but not quite right because Princess Lili never fell into a pond and had to be saved? Jack dove in for the ring but Lili never fell in, which is crucial to my memory.

Today I watched Ladyhawke with Matthew Broderick, Rutger Hauer, and Michelle Phifer, which was incredibly sexy and powerful and had some elements that seemed familiar, but Legend was a lot closer but missed the most important scene in my mind.

Does anyone have any clue what I'm talking about?!

[dqmeron]

some quick info: ↳ this is specifically for the screencapping method. i use mplayer osx extended to get my caps, but there are a few other programs you can use as well. i’ll specifically be going over mplayer here. ↳ i’m using ps 24.4.1 on a 2020 m1 macbook air

[tysm to @kyubinz for looking this over and adding some things ily]

☆ feel free to send me an ask/message with any questions you have! ☆

「 setup 」

1. finding videos

one big thing to remember is that the overall file size of your video will impact the quality of your gif. the larger, the better. i almost never use anything below 1080p, and try to use 2160p whenever i can. 4k video downloader is the program i use for downloading videos from youtube, it’s free to install and works great! because of how large some files can be, i always store any media on my hard drive. i highly recommend using one if you plan to keep lots of files on hand. 

.mkv files are best, but .mp4 works fine as well (.mkv files are usually bigger aka better quality).

2. getting your screencaps

after downloading mplayer, go to the top bar and click file > open. open the video you’ll be screencapping. 

you can either drag the little time indicator or using the arrow keys on your keyboard to move to the spot you want to capture. the > key can also be used to move forward frame by frame. to start capping, pause the video and press shift + cmnd (ctrl if you’re on windows) + s to take a screencap. i usually just hold it down until i’ve gotten all the screencaps i need. 

by default, screencaps go right to desktop. you can set up a folder for them to go to automatically by going to settings > general and then selecting a spot in the menu under “interface”, but i just let them go to desktop and then sort them into individual folders so they’re easier for me to find while i’m giffing. in general, i try to stay under 80 frames so my gifs fit into tumblr’s 10mb image size limit. 

3. importing screencaps into photoshop

to import your caps into ps, go to file > scripts > load files into stack. this window should open:

click browse, and navigate to the folder with your caps in it. select all of the caps you want to import, and then click open.

click ok to create a file with your caps, and then wait until it’s finished loading your caps into the layers tab. once they’re loaded in, this is what your screen should look like:

(if you aren’t seeing the timeline at the bottom of your screen, go up to the top bar and go to window > timeline)

click create frame animation, then go to the hamburger menu at the top right of the timeline and select make frames from layers. once your frames have loaded in, select the same menu again and click reverse frames. play through your gif to make sure everything looks good. 

if you were to save your gif at the speed it’s set at now, it would be way too fast. to fix this, you have to set the frame delay. do this by selecting all your frames in the timeline using shift click, and then clicking (on any frame) where it says “0 sec”. select other from the menu that comes up, and you should get this popup:

the general rule of thumb for gif frame delay is 0.05 seconds. there are some cases — certain animated movies or video games, for example — where other delays are best, but for the most part, 0.05 is what you want to use (0.05 can slightly slow gifs, and sometimes using 0.04 better matches the clip's original timing. this is really a "train your eyes" thing, and picking the best delay gets easier as you gif for longer). you can set this by typing the number into the text box and then hitting the ok button or enter on your keyboard. 

at this point, i’d go ahead and save your file. you can go to file > save in the top bar, or just hit cmd/ctrl + s on your keyboard.

「 making your gif 」

1. sizing

after your frames are ready, the next thing is to size your gif. to crop your gif, press c on your keyboard to open the cropping tool. white borders will show up around your gif.

before doing anything, i would suggest making sure “delete cropped pixels” is unchecked. this will allow you to drag your gif around later if you want to reposition. you can find this option at the top of your screen. drag the borders on either side until you have the area you want selected. mine looks like this:

once you’re happy with your selection, hit enter on your keyboard to finalize it. 

the tumblr image guidelines require gifs to be 540px across (here’s a post detailing this). to change your gif’s image size, go to image > image size in the top bar. you’ll get this popup:

instead of setting the width right to 540, i’ll be setting it to 544, and then trimming down the edges using canvas size. this makes the quality just a little better, and also prevents any weird borders being made around your gif on the off chance photoshop decides to add them. this isn’t necessary at all, you can absolutely size right to 540, but i just like doing this. if you choose to do this, open canvas size right after you set image size (image > canvas size in the top bar), and trim your width down to 540 and your height down a few pixels as well. 

2. sharpening & other filters

sharpening is essential for good-quality gifs. the first step to this is converting our timeline from frame animation to a video timeline. select this little icon in the bottom left of your screen:

this is what your timeline will look like now:

you can use the little slider with mountains on either side to change the width of your frames in the timeline for easier access when editing. now that we’ve got all this set up, we can sharpen! i use this action pack to sharpen my gifs in addition to a few of my own settings (here is a video on how to install actions into photoshop). go to window > action in the top bar if you aren’t seeing the action tab. 

i’ll be using the sharper action from the pack. to use an action, select it from the list and press the little play button at the bottom of the panel to apply it.

in addition to this, i usually also add unsharp mask at 50% amount with a 0.5px radius:

there are a few other filters than can be helpful when giffing:

a. add/reduce noise noise (aka grain) can be added with “add noise”. go to filter > noise > add noise.

these are the settings i usually use, but the amount depends on the gif (i don't ever go over 3.5 for the most part):

(if you want a grain effect but moving noise doesn't work for the gif, you can also add a grain overlay and then mess with blending mode and layer opacity until it looks how you want)

reduce noise can be used to remove some of the pre-existing grain on a clip. go to filter > noise > reduce noise. here are my settings:

leaving reduce noise on its own at 100% is a bit too much, so double click this icon and change the opacity (i usually do around 45):

b. gaussian blur if your clip is a bit pixelated, gaussian blur can help with smoothing it out a bit. go to filter > blur > gaussian blur. my settings are 1 pixel radius w ~20% opacity (this changes based on the gif).

3. coloring

time to color! i want you to keep in mind during this section that everyone likes different colorings, and this is just my process! please don’t feel pressured to follow exactly what i’m doing, the best way to find what you like is to just mess around and experiment!

i like to start off with lighting adjustments: brightness/contrast, levels, exposure, and curves. 

a. brightness/contrast i usually start out with this first, just because brightening the gif right away helps me start thinking about how i want to color! here are my settings:

b. levels/curves levels and curves can either be used interchangeably or together. i usually use levels to adjust lighting and curves to adjust color values, but i’ll go over using both for lighting as well as using curves for adjusting color values. 

for both of these adjustments, i use the eyedropper tools to pick out white and black points. for levels, the top eyedropper tool to the left of the graph is used to pick out a black point. i do this first. use the tool to pick a spot on your gif that you want to be the base for black values. for me, that’s the shadow inside rey’s hood. the bottom eyedropper tool picks white point. use the tool to pick a spot on your gif that you want to be the base for white values. i chose the outside of rey’s hood. make sure you’re doing this on a new levels adjustment layer.

now, on to curves. you can either use the same eyedropper method or manipulate the graph directly. using the eyedropper is the same as levels, so i’ll just go over graph manipulation. 

shade lightens as you move to the right along the x-axis of the graph — black is the far left, white is the far right, middle is the midtones. generally, i don’t work with midtones.

i’m going to use levels for this gif’s lighting, and curves to adjust color values. here’s how to do that:

curves can be used to adjust the amount of a certain color in different lighting areas of a gif. for example, i can specifically decrease the amount of green in the gif’s whites. to edit these values, select the rgb drop-down menu and adjust them one at a time. here are my final graphs:

c. exposure this one’s pretty straightforward. the exposure slider adjust general exposure. the offset slider adjusts how dark your dark points are, and gamma correction can be used to lighten/darken scenes as a whole. here’s my settings:

d. color balance color balance is used to adjust overall tint of a clip. this is in general pretty simple, but i do want to point out that using the shadow and highlights tabs in addition to just the midtones can really help. here’s my settings:

e. channel mixer channel mixer is one of my favorite tools in ps, especially for coloring scenes that are a pain in the ass without it. to avoid taking up too much space, here’s a great tutorial covering channel mixer. here’s my settings:

[at this point, i’m noticing my gif is still a bit darker than i’d like it, so i’m adding just a bit of brightness/contrast to fix it. there’s also a patch of blue over one of rey’s eyes, so i’ve used a hue/saturation layer to get rid of that bit and masked it to her eye. i’m not going to go over masking here, but there are lots of great tutorials out there!]

f. selective color selective color can be used to adjust the amount of specific colors within a color. for example, if i were to go into the red tab and take out cyans, the reds would become more red. if i were to add yellows, the reds would become more orange, etc etc. this can be especially good for color manipulation. for this gif, i’d like to make the background more blue, so i’m going to use selective color to do this. here’s my settings:

g. color lookup color lookup uses 3dlut files to remap gif colors (it’s a preset — think instagram filter or something similar). i don’t always use these, but when i do, i almost never leave them at 100% opacity. color lookup is great for giving gifs a film-type look if you want to do that, it’s got loads of different options. here’s my settings (adjustment layer is set to 20% opacity):

atp i’m pretty much done with coloring! i usually end up doing a few extra little lighting adjustments at the end. for this gif, i added some brightness/contrast at +8. i’ve also noticed that my gif’s looking a bit grainy, so i’ve added some noise to lean into it. this is usually the way i fix it, but you can definitely do reduce noise/gaussian blur as well if you don’t want a grainy look. 

here’s my fully colored gif + a process gif (fast images warning):

「 saving gifs 」

1. frame rate

one thing you may have noticed is that my gif is looking a bit choppy. photoshop has a tendency to mess with frame delay after gifs are converted to video timeline. here’s how to fix that.

select all of your layers and convert them to a smart object (right click > convert to smart object). next, click on the hamburger menu in the top right of the timeline and go to convert frames > flatten frames into clips. now we need to change the timeline from video timeline to frame animation. click the little 3 boxes symbol in the bottom left corner of the timeline:

go to the hamburger menu again and select make frames (this is the same one you used earlier), then go through your frames and delete any duplicates. the first frame usually needs to be deleted specifically. once you’ve done that, set the frame delay back to 0.05 the way you did earlier. 

2. exporting

once you’re happy with how your gif looks, go to file > export > save for web (legacy). 

these are my export settings, but feel free to experiment with the menus where i have selective and diffusion selected, different settings work best for each gif. in general, most gifmakers only use selective/adaptive and diffusion/pattern because they generally work the best for tumblr. before saving, make sure your looping option is set to forever:

gif size for tumblr has a 10mb limit. my gif is under this, so i don’t need to make any changes, but if yours is over, you can either delete some frames from the beginning/end of your gif and/or adjust the height of the gif (width needs to stay 540px so your gif doesn’t get stretched/compressed on tumblr, but height is fair game). 

here's my final gif!

happy giffing, and please don’t hesitate to send me any questions you have! ♡

[loonarii]

Ari's K-Pop Roundup: April 2024 (NewJeans, IVE, RIIZE, KISS OF LIFE, ARTMS, LOOSSEMBLE, BABYMONSTER + MORE)

check out last months installment here :)

Bubble Gum - NewJeans

With HYBE collapsing in on itself and ADOR being the epicentre of the explosion, a part of me was a little afraid that NewJeans' comeback would take a hit in the quality department. From the first bars of 'Bubblegum' I knew I had been worried for no reason.

'Bubblegum' is an early 2000s synth fueled record with an edge of 80s Japanese citypop. It's groovy, simplistic, and effortless in execution, and while it isn't necessarily an innovation in NewJeans' notoriously trend-setting discography, it's still a welcome addition that capitalizes on the members vocal tones and the group's style beautifully.

The music video is gorgeous, as usual, with it taking notes from the raw, realistic nature of 'Ditto' and the colour-pop confidence of 'Hype Boy'. Danielle looked especially gorgeous in her natural curls, and Hanni's sharp bob is so striking - she looks like an anime heroine, and I love it.

I know we've all heard the phrase 'I think I just made the song of the summer' a little too much these past few years, but I am of the opinion that NewJeans has successfully achieved it with 'Bubblegum' - it's been a whirlwind year so far for me, and something easygoing and chill like this is exactly the energy I will be bringing into the hotter months.

Even though they have made ripples in the kpop industry, it seems nobody can do it quite like NewJeans.

해야 (HEYA) - IVE (IVE SWITCH)

note: i will be covering the rest of the mini album when the m/v for 'accendio' is released next month, so stay tuned :)

Coming off of the mildly contrived 'Baddie' and the shockingly beautiful 'Off The Record' from 2023's 'I'VE MINE' EP, I wasn't sure where I was going to stand with IVE's comeback. Once again, I was pleasantly surprised.

'Heya' is a track with a chorus melody that makes such perfect sense that you are left amazed that nobody has thought of it before - its so easily catchy, and being 100% real, it's been stuck in my head since the m/v teaser. The construction of this song is honestly very impressive (Dem Jointz is the arranger so this is unsurprising), every vocal or instrumental motif pokes it's head in and reappears in an effortlessly perfect way, even the raps aren't jarring, a pitfall many a kpop track have fallen down before.

Functionally, this song is the perfect response to 'Baddie': that playful edge they centred in on in that track is still present here, but IVE have returned back to home base a little more and drawn from that elegant, untouchable concept they built in their iconic debut trilogy. 'Heya' understands the elements that saved 'Baddie' from succumbing to unlistenability, and knows how to use them redirect back to the right track without discarding the lessons learnt entirely.

While I don't think this song has reached 'After LIKE' or 'Love Dive' levels of perfection for me, it's still a super fun song for IVE, and absolutely a step in the right direction.

(final note: does anyone else feel like this song samples 'flashing lights' by kanye west?? does anyone else hear this? like at 45 seconds?? maybe im slowly going insane idk)

Midas Touch - KISS OF LIFE

(check out my breakdown of the historical allusions in the mv here)

Kiss Of Life seems to just know exactly what they are doing, and the music is just getting better and better. The Britney edge and old SNSD flair on this track is right up my street, and all the members just give their all on this song, their talent is so consistently clear.

Their seemingly exponential growth in popularity and success from debut is so well deserved, they are truly setting the standard for the quality of music of the 5th generation; they are proving with every release that kpop does have more to offer, there is more innovation to be made.

My grievances at this release being a single album aside, this was a perfect comeback in my opinion. Congratulations Kiof for graduating nugudom, I can't wait to see what you do next.

Impossible + 9 Days + One Kiss - RIIZE

And just when I thought I would never enjoy a boy group release again, RIIZE dropped 'Impossible'. The audacity to release something as fucking amazing as this like 3 months after 'Love 119' (which i controversially loved)??? Insane.

This track marks SM's latest addition to their arsenal of iconic house bangers, 'Impossible' revitalizes everything that made Shinee's 'View' and f(x)'s '4 Walls' so good for the 2024 music scene. It has that late night BBC Radio 1/love island pop edge to it that I have been yapping about for months, and I am so obsessed. This is how to compete with Somi's 'Fast Forward' for the most british sounding kpop song.

'One Kiss' is a sonic sequel to 'Love 119' - I am just so obsessed with how much they sound like an early 2000s western boy group on tracks like this, they just exude NSYNC energy. '9 Days' is another laidback pop hit, with a little more energy and longevity than 'One Kiss'. The sound of 2024's summer in kpop has clearly been established, and I for one am in favour.

RIIZE being the first boy group to last more than two comebacks on my stan list is really something I didn't see coming, but it's a welcome change.

SHEESH - BABYMONSTER (BABYMONS7ER)

I think babymonster may start to be delegated to the mini review section of these monthly reviews, because I am genuinely struggling to find something likeable within this song. 'Batter Up' at least had a danceability to it, even if it was highly derivative, but 'Sheesh' is just so predictable to me. Even the switch up from the standard YG party final chorus felt formulaic somehow, and the mini album wasn't much better.

Ahyeon is back though, and she proved once and for all that she is absolutely a necessary part of the group - her rap was easily the song's highlight. The performances from this era were genuinely excellent considering what they were working with.

I don't like being a stuck record with groups I just will never enjoy, so I apologize, but discussions around their future releases will be limited going forward, unless they drop something that I actually enjoy.

Pre2: Flower Rhythm + Pre3: Candy Crush- ARTMS (Dall)

There is something about modhaus production that just works for me, and the interpolation of Heejin's 'Algorithm' on 'Flower Rhythm' is a really exciting choice. The verses, post-chorus and bridge are very strong in my opinion, but the chorus itself seems to get a little lost in the sauce. I can see that chorus growing on me however, and the rest of the song is highly enjoyable, very evocative of the yyxy sub-unit.

Haseul's 'Plastic Candy' is one of my favourites from the ARTMS girls' releases, and with it's interpolation in 'Candy Crush' means I am predisposed to be obsessed with this song. It's a little jazzy, a little citypop, and it's the perfect late night summer vibe. This is easily my favourite of the pre releases so far, but the sheer array of styles the girls have demonstrated makes me very excited to see where they go for the title track.

Girls' Night - Loossemble (One Of A Kind)

LOOSEMBLE AND ARTMS RELEASES IN ONE MONTH??? WE WON

Loossemble's 'Sensitive' was pure pop perfection, and the album was just as impressive, so going into 'One Of A Kind' and its title 'Girls' Night' I just knew they were going to deliver.

'Girls' Night' is a classic LOONA type track, a total kaleidoscope of sonic innovation, and it stuns throughout its 3:24 runtime (we love long songs). My girl Yeojin got PINK HAIR, Vivi got a lore update, and Gowon unlocked her irish ancestry - overall a 10/10 in the visuals department. The rest of the album is an actual masterpiece; 'Moonlight' is a banger that caught me off guard by how good it is, 'Boomerang' has an addictive almost hyperpop edge - it's very evocative of Yeppi Yeppi by aespa, or even Paradisin' by Rina Sawayama. 'He Said I Said' plays it a little too safe in the production department in my opinion, and it comes off a slightly childish for them - it's a perfectly enjoyable song, but probably the weakest on the album. 'Truman Show' brings in a more acoustic sound, which builds with the synth to create a truly cinematic feel - it has a ballad vibe, but keeps it on the upbeat side, so if kpop ballads aren't your thing, you still might enjoy this one. 'Starlight' is a perfect album closer, and although it will never be my favourite LOONA song with 'Star' in the title, it's a really beautiful song. This was a really successful album for them, and I can't wait to see what else they bring to the industry.

MINI REVIEWS:

SPOT! - ZICO feat. JENNIE: I was fully prepared to lie and act like this was a masterpiece before I listened because it has my queen jennie in it, but when I actually heard it I was pleasantly surprised with an absolute certified banger. This has that TripleH - 365 Fresh energy that I love, and Jennie's amazing vocals have made me so excited for what shes going to do with her solo work at odd atelier :)

Could It Be + Freak - YUQI ((G)-IDLE): I've never been a huge (G)-IDLE fan, so 'Freak' really wasn't my vibe, but 'Could It Be' had a Sunmi-esque edge that draws me in somehow. Having heard a snippet on TikTok, I also listened to the b-side 'Red Rover', and it's a real standout, make sure to give this one a listen if you only heard 'Freak'.

Blush - woo!ah!: i am in denial thay the official group name is now WOOAH, why are we erasing herstory?? Anyway, 'Blush' really blew me away - this song is so fun, every second is packed with memorable melodies and beautiful production, and that post chorus??? a killer!! SO underrated, if you haven't checked out this song yet this month, be sure to, it's an underrated song that I can see making it high in my yearly ranking.

고민중독 - QWER: Sapphic themes?? in a kpop music video??? with a girl BAND??? yoasobi vibes??? of course i was going to love it! I had never really heard of QWER before this month, but this song is such a banger and the pop rock sound is immaculate - ( @a-moth-to-the-light this feels very much up your street) I will 100% be checking out their discography, and I can easily see these girls making a home on my stan list, this track is truly amazing.

Final Love Song - I-LAND2 Contestants with ROSÉ: This is the kind of kpop song that makes me understand why this genre is so bullied. What are we doing. Rosé sounded good I guess. Moving on.

IMMM - ILY:1: Such an unexpected groovy sound - big Momoland energy. Pretty much everyone is eating up these April releases, even the nugu girlies are bringing it more than usual. I'm slightly worried about the lack of music video or promotions, but this song is really fun, so please go stream and show ILY:1 some love :)

[cheemscakecat]

AI Art mistakes Episode 1: Gravity Falls as an 80s mystery movie.

Like usual, AI struggles to replicate text. There are a number of reasons why an AI generated background image is a bad idea under most circumstances, especially as a final draft.

Here is an actual picture of the Mystery Shack from the show. This design was based off of research done by the team working on the show. They travelled to actual tourist traps in order to find objects to draw as background details, like the signs and decor around the shack.

The AI version doesn’t scream tourist trap house, it screams random gas station [which is what I assume the rectangles in the far bottom right are supposed to represent]. The scale of the signage on the real design gives us insight into Stan Pines, the owner of the business, and what we can expect to find on a tour. The moss, missing S laying on the roof, and big board underneath all tell us something important: This is an old building, and the owner is cheap.

The scale of the full shack is much larger than the little AI version, so much that the Gift shop area feels around the same size as the whole thing. The AI version isn’t believable as a house/shop combo because of how small it is, and the broken window!

There’s a room big enough for two children to have separate beds and a large room with a window nook in the attic area of the mystery shack. We don’t know where this bathroom is on the ground floor, but given the fact that there’s an outhouse, we can assume this is meant for the family living at the Shack, not tourists.

The detail of the non-suspicious triangular windows is lost in the AI image, and since none of the posters even spell words, there’s no good details gained from including them.

This support on the porch roof doesn’t connect back to the building, it connects to this tree trunk. And the supposed gas pumps don’t make sense either because there’s usually only one or two, and they’d all be the same height.

AI Dipper Pines just looks like that one kid from Stranger things.

Another issue with AI art is that the texture on “Dipper’s” hair is super soft and fluffy like a cat’s fur. You can see this actor’s curly hair leaves actual gaps and is more wiry and shiny… because it’s human hair. Also, the image from the show has this grainy texture on the skin and cloth, because the show is set in the 80s and cameras weren’t high definition. AI art looks too smooth and buttery because it doesn’t have the human understanding of aesthetics and texture.

He also looks like Frodo, but I don’t know why the AI would pull from a non-80s themed film.

That ain’t Journal 3, thats Diary 9!

The AI didn’t even make it red! Made it massive and square, but the rest wasn’t allowed.

“Dipper” isn’t looking at anything because an AI drew this and had no plan for what he’s supposed to be staring at. Also, one of his nostrils is smaller and his right eyebrow is trying to escape AI purgatory.

Don’t let ro-bro cook, AI “Mabel” looks like Minecraft Brett Cooper.

Naw, because why is AI Mabel’s jawline stronger than her Twin Brother’s?!

That is NOT Mabel bro, that is a thirty year old married woman on Pinterest!

With a sock puppet for a thumb.

They made Stan into a fusion of Walta White and Stan Lee, which makes sense. But his empty black eye socket and deep wrinkles give me a fight or flight response.

This is what real eyes and wrinkles look like. Once again the text on Stan’s jacket makes no sense [and being AI has no design thought put into it], and the hair looks like cat fur. Walta’s beard is a good example of what “Stan’s” mustache should look like texture wise.

This isn’t Soos, this is Deter Diffin!

Literally what is the same? Got bro out here looking like a slapstick mobster with 3 offended brain cells.

Look, I know Mabel saved that 8 legged cow, but even she’s wise enough to get stranger danger vibes from bro. AI waddles looks like one of those cursed 3-D Peppa Pig animations from the depths of YouTube.

So this next one, I didn’t even know who it was supposed to be, but the video had timestamps in the description…

…..

…..

….

So Ford… isn’t a ginger, first of all. Second of all, he’s literally wearing a baseball cap with a beanie over it. Because that would do anything for you.

Doesn’t look like AI Stan. Doesn’t even look like his painted self, much less the actual Ford. The AI latched onto the author thing and made him do a book signing or something. I promise you, if Ford got the chance to do a book signing he would not look this depressed. Maybe he can feel the disappointment through the screen, IDK.

AI Bill Cipher. Apparently. Bro looks like a Demonic Discord Mod who found out his Lemon Demon concert ticket is counterfeit the night of the event. I’m not even going to waste time explaining this one.

So yeah, that was episode one of critiquing/roasting AI art.

[ceoandslutler]

have you heard kuro dubbed in any language other than english? or in any other asian language other than korean or chinese? well i found a persian one and it's so fucking bad that it's hilarious.

(also stay tuned to find out why the persian dub of kuroshitsuji being so bad has directly to do with anti-shipping sentiment and puritanism)

i would like to politely invite anyone who's ethnically from/lives in/speaks the language of a country with an ultraconservative government to contribute to this post if they know a dub of kuro (fandub or licenced by a company) in their language to contribute to this post (agree or disagree that policing media causes a drop in its quality and accessibility in other countries) but let's keep it civil. if you are not from a country like this but have something to say, feel free to add anything on, the conversation is open to all :)

so i just heard the homemade persian dub of kuro's first ep made by some young people who sound like they're in uni (probs 18-23 yr olds), tears have been flowing from my eyes for the past 20 mins

(link under the cut)

to save time, go watch the bits i linked below or just laugh at the whole thing (full link) but don't blame these kids for being awful at this or just skip to the end of the post. as i said, there is a reason this dub is so bad and no official dub exists and it has to do with... anti subculture?!?*

but first, the funny stuff

ciel's voice is awful but just listen to the goofy dub laugh seb's va did at the start I'M FUCKING SOBBING (00:15-00:35), and also not ciel's va MOANING after the op song (2:35) ??? i REPEAT the woman who VA'd ciel was fucking MOANING, the YAWN was the worst part, dub team shotacons???

also SHEEL FANTOMHAYO?? THE KID'S NAME WAS DUBBED AS SHEEL FANTOMHAYO. (refer to 6:30 in the video linked)

now this isn't because we lack a 's' in our language (my alias is literally a persian name meaning shadow aka ✦sayé✦), we've just transliterated it as shiyel, but SHEEL???

the other guy calls him fantomhayo too (8:25) and the fantomhayo condition strikes again with sebastian's va talking about the fantomhayo hospitality at 12:40 ish in the video.

this is particularly bizarre because we do have a V in persian, please guys, use it!

please note: i have nothing but good things to say about finny's va... the way the va says "sebaastiyaan!" (12:43) is so cute <3

at 13:00, we get this golden crumb "meyrin... oh meyrin" from this college aged dude doing sebastian (who is SO lost) then he proceeded to say in persian "i beg you, ON MY LIFE, just pour the fucking wine in the glass and walk away" save me from the bad dub, ono daisuke, save me...

the furnace scene is just gold (18:50 onward is comical, the scream at the end... priceless), these people deserve an award, im tempted to do subs on this whole video because the translation is so wrong yet absolutely too hilarious to leave untranslated. also, i like how you can hear other people talking in the background constantly, they didn't even bother finding a quiet room 😭😭

finally i translated some of the best comments under the vid (everyone fuckin hated it 😭)

..tldr: irani/persian speaking netizens are brutal. but also, it shows that persian speakers are used to quality dubbing, otherwise this wouldn't be so offensive. if we were used to badly done dubs, the comments wouldn't look like this. many famous kdramas and jdramas and indian/turkish films have been dubbed. animated movies e.g. disney films and most commonly 70-80s anime have huge followings in iran and were dubbed extraordinarily well. in fact, in iran, many of our own films are dubbed especially if the original footage did not capture the audio well enough/the director was unhappy with the actor's delivery and it's usually hard to tell if this has happened because it's done very well. shockingly, dub is more popular than sub. so why does kuro not have an official dub? why is the fandub so bad???

PLEASE READ THE FOLLOWING

*IMPORTANT: an anime like this is not allowed to be legally dubbed by studios in iran because iran is under an islamic theocracy (the islamic republic) and all media that promotes devil worshipping and blasphemy is banned, homosexuality is too (anyone can tell kuro has homoerotic undertones, the homophobic heads of media would never let this queer gothic romance through). oh and trans people are "allowed" on TV but only if they're not vulgar/explicit (not even then, half the time) & grelle would not make it into the anime AT ALL. even if we ignore all the devil worshipping and queerness, sex is banned too (as well as lewd appearances of women), so season 1/2 & boc would never make it. oh and alcohol, bom would never make it. oh and also, women's empowerment is banned too so boa would never make it. when will it end? will someday everything be banned? sure looks like it. but isn't this what anti shippers want? i mean kuro IS problematic media, it never condemns people for having sex or partaking in drinks, not even murder is condemned.

moving on, the subtitled version of the episodes are very well done for what they are but it's still not good, you won't understand what's going on properly. meanings are lost. a dub is much more accessible to those who can't read subs and generally a necessary option. people NEED dubs. don't get me wrong, the iranian fansub team are dedicated however subs are much easier for fans to do than dubbing. as you heard, kuro's persian fandub was frankly terrible. these kids didn't even know how to pronounce ciel's name and it's NOT because of the language barrier, my theory is that because the internet access is so limited, they had to figure out how to pronounce ciel's name purely from the japanese original or another lang dub and had no access to the eng dub. as you can see, they are not able to follow the mouth movements either (don't have editing software); i assume the internet restrictions targeted streaming platforms w the dub on it (because the government wants to CONTROL what media people consume) so they had to figure everything out from japanese or another language, (they probably used another fandub to translate since the ed seems to credit the eng vas while they can never be heard in the bg) which is not easy. unfortunately english is taught in schools around the world not japanese so the dubbers' translation was quite honestly terrible- after all, they had no official script to base their translation off. BUT if a professional dubbing studio (e.g. iran's glory entertainment) got their hands on kuro, it'd probably be dubbed very well. if mehrdad raissi, CEO of glory, was on for seb's role, it would be glorious (pun intended). if he did flynn rider well, he can do sebs well too. but that studio often has their shows played on state televisions and the last thing they want is to get blacklisted and arrested for dubbing the gay demon butler anime. please do not take this fandub as representing all persian-language dubs. and remember, kuro itself is banned for being problematic media in counties like iran... no sebaciel needed (although anyone can definitely see the gay undertones to the story from a cover alone).

if you want to ban people from shipping things or making fan works that are problematic... soon you'll have to get rid of problematic media in general. and already, antis sound like the media people in charge under a dictatorship. "violence is okay, murder is okay but s-sex?!? women in scandalous clothing!!! oh good heavens..!" this is the kind of mindset which leads people down the rabbit hole of "this is problematic!! let's ban it!!!" until there's nothing left, a slippery slope. imagine this was the english dub of kuro. imagine it was banned in western countries and a team of young'uns had to gang up and make their own dub using only the japanese raws. imagine problematic media like kuro wasn't picked up the west because it's "shota" and that's bad. we'd be stuck looking at the same sanitised stuff and if we wanted to watch kuro, our options would be trash dubs (no offense) like this one. pretty scary to think this could be the state of the english dub if puritanism was as bad here as it is in countries like iran. policing media and deciding what creators should or shouldn't create will take you to the side of theocratic dictatorships and you will fall into alt right puritan lunacy, fanpoll are about as woke as a dictatorship, remember that.

don't sound like this:

NEVER sound like this.

it is clear that conditional freedom is no freedom at all. there should be zero criteria to the media we want to create, no religion or purity culture to it. just be media literate. let nobody control what you want to create or consume! (or you'll end up in a world where the media that is deemed "problematic" is maintained but only through underground circles, losing quality and accessibility day by day, until these channels are shut down too and only a sanitised husk of options for media consumption remain)

[mr-1-2-3-4]

After to much of Lucky asking here are what we have of “The Children Entities”

Name-Graywell Deltas

Number-62

Nickname-ADHDpath or “the blood king”

Gender-male

Pronounce-he/him

Sex-M

Nationality-Finnish

Sexuality-bisexual

Hight-6,7

Age-25

Species-immortal and entity(now)

Specialties-sword fighting, running and jumping

Personality-cold, hostile(to Mr.1234), both controlling and manipulative(now)

Backstory-used to be a really chill guy until his death and then got turned into whatever monster he his now, and think Mr.1234 betrayed him so cause a very gruesome death to Mr.1234

Habits-sitting on his throne all day thinking, smoking, hurting others

Issues-???

Entity/Entities-Fred and “the blood god”

Favorite food/dessert-blood

Favorite animal/animals-skinwalkers

Favorite activities-fighting, looking scary(can’t control)

Fact-is completely gone, the only way out is a final death with Mr.1234’s type of blade

Name-???

Number-1234.2

Nickname-Creator1234

Gender-trans male

Pronounce-he/him

Sex-F

Nationality-???

Sexuality-pansexual

High-5,8

Age-14

Species-monster

Specialties-editing? Baking, writing

Personality-scared, insecure, depressed, crack head, lack of sleep

Backstory-???

Habits-pencil tapping, playing with shoes

Issues-spacing out, sleeping in class, failing two classes, staying up editing, getting embarrassed easily, autistic, dyslexic

Entity/Entities-???

Favorite food/dessert-pot stickers, beef jerky

Favorite animal/animals-cats, sand foxes

Favorite activities-editing, writing, drawing

Fact-mainly based off me(80% me 20% imagination)

Name-Luck

Number-???

Nickname-Lucky

Gender-Gender fluid

Pronounce-any

Sex-F

Nationality-???

Sexuality-???

Hight-6,1

Age-???

Species-???

Specialties-???

Personality-childish, silly, happy

Backstory-???

Habits-???

Issues-???

Entity/Entities-???

Favorite food/dessert-ice cream

Favorite animal/animals-???

Favorite activities-???

Fact-it either has a entity or is the entity

Name-Claymore Deltas

Number-1234

Nickname-Mr.1234(prefers it)

Gender-Trans man

Pronounce-He/Him

Sex-F

Nationality-Finnish

Sexuality-Pansexual

Hight-6,6

Age-25(stuck at 25)

Species-Immortal

Specialties-Sniping, Baking, Cooking, Running and Jumping, spying, lock picking, pick pocketing, Hunting, Dancing, CPR, Medical Treatment, Combat

Personality-cold, sick of everything and everyone, sleep deprived, mean(sometimes), depressed, dark humor

Backstory-after dying the first time he lived life like nothing happened, and fought in many wars in many different branches, he always loved his twin brother “ADHDpath” until the day he couldn’t save him, and now his Twin brother is corrupted by his entity, now ADHDpath thinks Mr.1234 betrayed him, and left him to “die” when that’s not true, Mr.1234 couldn’t get to him, no matter what he did, he couldn’t do anything to save him. But he still blames himself till this day, and works non stop to figure out what is wrong with everyone

Habits-smoking, drinking, not sleeping, overworking

Issues-not being able to sleep, headaches, flashbacks, blackouts

Entity/Entities-Mr.Hop and Time

Favorite food/dessert-beef jerky, cookies

Favorite animal/animals-white crow, cats

Favorite activities-cleaning his hideout, spending time with his kids and Karl

Fact-has died more than 30 times(from his long lifetime), although he can’t die he can still feel pain

(Don’t blame me blame Lucky if you hate this. A lot of writing so sorry if it’s messy)