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goldenseresinretriever · 2 months

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One Man’s Trash

Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x Reader

Part of the San Diego Dogfighters universe but can be read as a stand-alone

CW: Angst, fluff, suggestive language, medical inaccuracies, hockey inaccuracies etc. No use of Y/N.

Word Count: 3.4k

Series Masterlist

“Bunny come on, just consider it.”

“Jake Seresin,” you place your hands on your hips and try your best to keep a stern expression on your face as your boyfriend gives you puppy eyes rivaling those of the actual dogs on the screen in front of him. This discussion has been occurring more and more often and you’re starting to feel your resolve slipping. Jake wants another dog. With you so early on in your career, you’d expressed your desire to wait to get married and have kids until you’ve had time to get your feet under yourself, and Jake, ever the respectful partner, had supported and agreed with your decision. An unforeseen side effect, however, was that instead of baby fever, your boyfriend has come down with a severe case of puppy fever. He spent every spare moment looking at shelter websites and showing you photo after adorable photo of puppies up for adoption.

It’s not that you don’t want another dog. You love Pudding but she’s always going to feel like Jake’s dog, no matter how much the two of you love each other, to the point that Jake constantly complains that she likes you more than him. And the house is more than capable of housing another pup. Even with its single-floor layout, the backyard is open to the beach and it's perfect for a dog. And yet despite all that, you can’t help the guilt that gnaws at your heart at the idea of leaving yet another dog at home when you and your boyfriend are busy jetting around the continent for work, sometimes for weeks at a time. Sure, right now you had an ideal situation with your parents being empty nesters just two hours away in Anaheim, and more than willing to babysit Pudding while the two of you were out of town, but that was an arrangement formed out of necessity. Willingly bringing another dog into your anything-but-consistent lifestyle made you feel like a bad parent. It was another reason you were holding off on kids. Jake, of course, who was more used to this lifestyle didn’t feel that same guilt the way you did and he’d even gone so far as to bring it up when you were at your parents’ house for dinner last. Your parents enthusiastically expressed their support and willingness to take care of yet another dog should you choose to get one. You know part of that is due to the fact that your parents have decided that despite being their youngest child, you’re likely going to be the source of their first grandchild. They want to be as supportive of your and Jake’s relationship as possible to get to that point since Charlie is married to his job and Tucker’s currently single and busy with his career.

You watch Jake’s brow furrow and feel a different stab of guilt in your chest. You don’t mean to be so cold to him but you just want him to consider your point of view and reservations. The smart thing to do would be to wait until the off-season at least before taking on a new member of your family, but he’s insatiable. “Fine, Bugs,” he says and you feel your heart squeeze at the coldness in his tone. He closes the laptop and gets up from the counter. You feel frustrated tears making your nose tight. You don’t want to fight with Jake but he can just be so damn stubborn sometimes, and while it’s one of your favorite qualities in him, it’s also been a point of contention in your relationship.

You’re left alone in the kitchen, fighting back the tears until a wet nose presses into your hand and you look down, blinking past the tears to smile at Pudding, who’s gazing up at you with concern in her honey eyes. You squat down and wrap your arms around her fluffy neck, burying your face in her fur as the tears escape. She nuzzles you gently, placing a paw on your bent knee, whining softly in concern. When your tears finally stop, you decide to take some space to breathe and grab your keys and Pudding’s leash. You load her into the back seat of your new SUV. Your heart aches at the memory of Jake surprising you with it for your birthday. He’d been chiding you about getting a new car longer than you'd been dating but you’d been hesitant to spend the money, so after a careful line of questioning and a few times he’d been able to coax you to test drive some cars for the hell of it, he’d surprised you with the forest green SUV that was bigger than you needed but Jake insisted it was a safer option than a car.

You feel your heart pinch again as you drive to the nearest dog park, wishing Jake was with you. Going to the dog park as a little family was one of your favorite things to do on your precious days off and you can’t help but feel his absence like a dull ache in your chest. You hate fighting with Jake. By the time you get to the park, you’re ready to turn right back around and go home but you can tell that Pudding’s excited even if she can tell that something’s wrong.

You manage to play for about an hour or so before wrapping up with a long walk around the park and heading home as the sun begins to sink below the horizon. Jake’s not home when you return and your heart sinks. You’re eager to set things right with him, but you force yourself to cook dinner, leaving some out for him, before climbing in the shower. The tears come again, then, at the idea that Jake may not be coming home tonight. Your shoulders shake with sobs as the shower water mixes with your tears. When you finally leave the shower, the water has long since run cold and you get dressed for bed in a daze, exhaustion sitting heavy on your bones.

When you pad out of the bathroom, however, your heart lifts at the sight of Jake sitting in bed, reading whatever coach’s biography he was currently working through. He doesn’t seem to have noticed your presence, that or he’s ignoring you, and if that’s the case you can’t take it. You approach the bed cautiously, climbing in, and Jake starts, “Hey Bunny, how was your sh-“ he’s cut off as you scoot across the bed at lightning speed and curl against his side, inhaling his scent and letting it ground you even as you shudder against him. “Bunny? What’s going on, sweetheart?” He puts the book down, his full attention on you as you don’t answer, and simply curl closer. Jake pulls his arm free from under you and wraps it around your shoulder and you feel your body relax into his touch.

“I’m sorry, Jake.” You blurt and hate the way it sounds wet and weepy as your tears flow once again. He stiffens underneath you and then his other hand reaches for your chin, guiding your face up to his so he can see the tears coursing down your cheeks, alarm in his eyes.

“Sorry for what? Bunny, what’s going on?” You blink, surprise stopping your tears as confusion takes over.

“For earlier, about the dog,” you blubber tearfully. “I hate fighting with you and I should have been more patient-“

“Fighting with me? Bunny, I’m not mad at you,” he says, surprise lighting his eyes flecked with pain. “Was I frustrated in the moment? Yes, but I’m not mad at you sweet girl, I could never be mad at you over something like that.” You blink up at him.

“Then where did you go? You were gone so long I thought you weren’t coming home tonight,” his eyes widen and he wraps his other arm around you, pulling you closer.

“Oh Bunny, I told you this morning I was golfing with the guys this afternoon and we’d probably do drinks after.” You’d completely forgotten about that. “I figured you and Pudding went out to have a girls’ day, I didn’t realize you were upset or I wouldn’t have gone, I’m sorry.” You shake your head against his chest.

“No, I’m sorry, I should have articulated better and not just assumed you were angry at me. And I really am sorry Jake, about telling you no about the puppy. It’s been just as hard for me as it has been for you.” You pause and Jake seems to know you have more to say so he waits patiently. “I haven’t been fair to you. I know I’m asking a lot to wait before we have kids, and you’ve been so respectful of that. And I know this is a natural compromise but I can’t help but think about how irresponsible it feels right now and… it makes me feel like a bad mom.” Your voice gets softer at the end but you know he heard you as he pulls back so he can look you in the eye.

“Bunny, first I want you to know that you should never feel guilty about wanting to wait to have kids. You’re right, neither of us are ready for that right now. I’m lucky enough to have a girlfriend that travels with me to my games, if I had to trade that for kids? I’d pick you every time. Kids can wait, I want to enjoy you, just you, for a little bit longer. Second, I know you just want what’s best for us and this puppy, and I know I’ve been putting a lot of pressure on you to make this happen sooner rather than later and I’m sorry. I know you’re right about waiting until the off-season and I’m sorry I haven’t been receptive.” He leans in to press a kiss between your eyes. “Third, you’re not a bad mom. You never will be, not when you care this much. You’re not impulsive, you’re level-headed and you care so much it hurts you. You’re such a good mom to Pudding and you’re going to be the perfect mom to our future puppy and kids.”

You sniffle, leaning back down to lay your head on Jake’s chest. “I really do want a puppy, you know? I want to raise them together, and I don’t want to miss a single second of it, which is why I want to wait. So know that as much as you want to get one as soon as possible, so do I, the timing just isn’t right right now.” Jake nods above you.

“I know, sweet girl.” He kisses the top of your head. “You know I love you, don’t you?” You nod.

“I know, and I love you too, Jake.”

“That’s my girl. We’re a team, even when we disagree, remember that. And we’re not going to make any decisions for this team without agreeing about it first, okay?” You nod again and he eases the two of you down to lay down in bed, reaching over to turn off the lamp.

***

Two weeks later, you’re running late. You’re supposed to be meeting Jake and the rest of the team at a restaurant downtown now that the game in Anaheim is over. You would have driven up with Jake but you had some things to finish up in San Diego before the game against the Ducks that evening in Anaheim. The guys had decided to drive to the game instead of taking the jet since it’s basically local and they were anxious to spend a day at home after a long road trip even if they had one last road game before the next stretch in San Diego. You’re wrapping up the last of your preparations, Pudding at your side. She doesn't usually attend away games but your parents came to the game and brought her so she can come home with you and Jake after almost two weeks apart. Jake had offered to take Pudding with him but she’d been glued to your side to his dismay. Now she’s waiting patiently as you load up your gear and various forgotten articles you’d found during a final sweep of the locker room. You swing the trunk shut, ready to be on your way.

You turn to Pudding but she’s nowhere in sight and you panic suddenly, turning to look around the deserted parking garage in fear as you call out for her. You hear a yip in response and follow the sound to a large dumpster in one corner of the garage. Pudding’s jumped on top, balancing on the one open lid, and she’s digging around inside, a distressed whine coming from her as you approach. You’re confused. While you and Pudding have become quite close, you haven’t quite managed to grasp the meaning of all her various noises.

“Pud, what’s wrong, honey?” You ask tentatively as he just whines louder and digs more. You approach the dumpster, trying to see what she’s so upset over. Those aren’t her hungry noises, you know that. When you get closer, she grabs your sleeve with her teeth, dragging you even closer and your brow furrows in concern. Something’s definitely wrong. When Pudding realizes you don’t understand, she huffs before jumping into the trash and you let out a yell of surprise. She digs around in the trash and before you can shout at her to get out her head disappears under the trash. You start calling for her frantically, considering whether you should climb in after her when she starts to resurface and that’s when you hear it. It’s weak and muffled but the whimpers are clear as day once you catch the sound. Pudding’s head comes back up and clutched gently in her teeth is the scruff of a puppy. You let out a cry of surprise as you reach out instantly and Pudding gives you a knowing look before passing you the puppy.

He’s skinny, too skinny and there are cuts and tiny sores on his grayish blue body but you recognize him to be a pitbull puppy and his distressed whimpers and whines tell you he’s terrified. You pull him close, curling around him protectively as Pudding pulls herself out of the dumpster and jumps down next to you. You give him a basic once-over before calling to Pudding and heading to the car. He needs to go to the vet for a proper checkup but from what you can tell, he’s okay.

***

You’re pacing around the exam room. The vet’s cleared the little puppy and prescribed him some medicine to help with the sores. Pudding has climbed up on the exam table and is licking at the tiny puppy lovingly, and he seems to be comfortable with her if not still very anxious. You don’t blame him, it’s a new place with new people and he was abandoned in a dumpster before this. He lets out a little whine and you stop your pacing, making your way over to the two dogs, squatting so you’re eye-level with them before smiling at the little guy. You reach out a hand to stroke his tiny head and he licks your fingers as you giggle. Your heart clenches as you spot the dark patch on his chest that looks a little like a heart.

You’re enjoying the moment when Jake bursts through the door to the room, worry on his face. He turns to you instantly.

“Is she okay, what happened?” You’d texted him letting him know you’d be late or possibly miss dinner due to an emergency trip to the vet. You stand up, giving him a shy smile as you gesture to the little pup curled under Pudding’s chin.

“Meet Taz,” you whisper and he whips his head around in confusion until his eyes find the little gray bundle, widening in surprise. He squats down then, reaching a tentative finger out to stroke Taz’s tiny head.

“Hey there little buddy,” he whispers softly and Taz rubs up against his hand. Jake’s face breaks into a grin and scratches behind his ears gently. “Where’d you find this little angel?” Jake asks, turning to look up at you. You shake your head.

“I didn’t, Pudding did. He was buried in a dumpster in the Ducks’ parking garage. Pain passes across Jake’s face as he turns back to the dogs, reaching his other hand to scratch Pudding’s head.

“Good girl, you did so good,” he praises and you can’t help the smile that creeps up your cheeks. “You’re ready to be big sister, huh?” He asks, turning back to you. “So, Taz?” There’s more than one question in his eye and you nod.

“Like the Tasmanian Devil, since we’re already Bugs and Lola.” You shrug as he grins. “I know we talked about waiting, but I feel like we found him for a reason,” you give him a nervous look, “if you’re ready that is?” Jake’s eyes soften, leaning down to kiss Taz’s little head before standing to wrap you in his arms, kissing your head next.

“I’m ready if you are, Bunny.” You nod against his chest.

“I think I am,” you smile and pull back to see Jake smiling too.

“Then I guess our family’s growing by one,” he says, reaching down to scoop up Taz as he ruffles Pudding’s fur with his other hand, his arm looped around you, and you curl against his side, smiling contentedly.

The door to the exam room opens and the doctor walks in, smiling. “You must be Dad, what’s the verdict?” She looks excitedly between the two of you and you smile, leaning back against Jake as he presses another kiss to your head shamelessly.

“We’re keeping him,” Jake confirms and she grins at him, clapping her hands excitedly.

“Congratulations! I’m having my nurses draw up some paperwork and then we can talk about whether you want to get his preliminary vaccinations taken care of today or if you want to wait to take him to your family vet.”

***

That night you’re exhausted by the time you get home. Jake stopped by the pet store to grab some necessities for Taz while you took the puppies home. You left Taz in Pudding’s care while you hopped in the shower. When you pad back into the living room, Jake’s sitting on the floor next to a smaller dog bed he’s placed right by Pudding’s that Taz is currently exploring while Jake watches. You walk up behind him, pressing your legs to his back.

“Hey, did you get everything?” Jake nods, tilting his head back to look up at you. You return his fond smile as you sit down next to him and Taz nervously trots over to you and you scoop him up, nuzzling him against your cheek.

“Hi, sweet boy, are you getting all settled in?” You coo softly and you can feel Jake watching. He places a kiss to the part of your shoulder that’s bared by his shirt being too big on you.

“See Bunny? You’re not a bad mom.” He whispers against your skin and you feel your heart squeeze. “Thank you,” he says then you turn to look at him, pulling Taz against your chest where he snuggles in.

“For what?” You ask as Jake lays his forehead against yours.

“For growing this family of ours, and for bringing us something that’s truly ours equally.”

“Well it didn’t seem fair that you’re outnumbered by the girls in your own home,” you tease and he bumps his nose against yours playfully.

“Something tells me he’s going to be a momma’s boy and then you’ll all still outnumber me anyway,” you giggle at that.

“Well if it makes you feel better, I think Pudding has the two of us beat for favorite,” you point out as Taz wiggles out of your grip as Pudding comes over to lie on her bed and then he’s attempting to climb onto it beside her. She watches for a few moments before giving in and reaching over to grip the scruff of his neck between her teeth gently and lifting him up onto the bed. He immediately snuggles up against her and she nuzzles his tiny head with her nose.

You see Jake watching them with a fond look in his eye and lean over to kiss his cheek. “You’re MY favorite, though. Always will be.” He smiles at that.

“You’re my favorite too, Bunny.” The two of you watch as the puppies snuggle up next to each other and you swear you feel your heart grow a size bigger as your family does too.

#san diego dogfighters au #San Diego dogfighters #San Diego dogfighters hockey au #snitches get stitches // goldenseresinretriever #sgs // goldenseresinretriever #jake hangman seresin x you #jake seresin x you #jake hangman seresin x reader #jake seresin x reader #jake seresin #top gun maverick hockey au #top gun maverick #top gun #TGM #no use of y/n

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mostlysignssomeportents · 4 months

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Emil Ferris’s long-awaited “My Favorite Thing Is Monsters Book Two”

NEXT WEEKEND (June 7–9), I'm in AMHERST, NEW YORK to keynote the 25th Annual Media Ecology Association Convention and accept the Neil Postman Award for Career Achievement in Public Intellectual Activity.

Seven years ago, I was absolutely floored by My Favorite Thing Is Monsters, a wildly original, stunningly gorgeous, haunting and brilliant debut graphic novel from Emil Ferris. Every single thing about this book was amazing:

https://memex.craphound.com/2017/06/20/my-favorite-thing-is-monsters-a-haunting-diary-of-a-young-girl-as-a-dazzling-graphic-novel/

The more I found out about the book, the more amazed I became. I met Ferris at that summer's San Diego Comic Con, where I learned that she had drawn it over a while recovering from paralysis of her right – dominant – hand after a West Nile Virus infection. Each meticulously drawn and cross-hatched page had taken days of work with a pen duct-taped to her hand, a project of seven years.

The wild backstory of the book's creation was matched with a wild production story: first, Ferris's initial publisher bailed on her because the book was too long; then her new publisher's first shipment of the book was seized by the South Korean state bank, from the Panama Canal, when the shipper went bankrupt and its creditors held all its cargo to ransom.

My Favorite Thing Is Monsters told the story of Karen Reyes, a 10 year old, monster-obsessed queer girl in 1968 Chicago who lives with her working-class single mother and her older brother, Deeze, in an apartment house full of mysterious, haunted adults. There's the landlord – a gangster and his girlfriend – the one-eyed ventriloquist, and the beautiful Holocaust survivor and her jazz-drummer husband.

Karen narrates and draws the story, depicting herself as a werewolf in a detective's trenchcoat and fedora, as she tries to unravel the secrets kept by the grownups around her. Karen's life is filled with mysteries, from the identity of her father (her brother, a talented illustrator, has removed him from all the family photos and redrawn him as the Invisible Man) to the purpose of a mysterious locked door in the building's cellar.

But the most pressing mystery of all is the death of her upstairs neighbor, the beautiful Annika Silverberg, a troubled Holocaust survivor whose alleged suicide just doesn't add up, and Karen – who loved and worshiped Annika – is determined to get to the bottom of it.

Karen is tormented by the adults in her life keeping too much from her – and by their failure to shield her from life's hardest truths. The flip side of Karen's frustration with adult secrecy is her exposure to adult activity she's too young to understand. From Annika's cassette-taped oral history of her girlhood in an Weimar brothel and her escape from a Nazi concentration camp, to the sex workers she sees turning tricks in cars and alleys in her neighborhood, to the horrors of the Vietnam war, Karen's struggle to understand is characterized by too much information, and too little.

Ferris's storytelling style is dazzling, and it's matched and exceeded by her illustration style, which is grounded in the classic horror comics of the 1950s and 1960s. Characters in Karen's life – including Karen herself – are sometimes depicted in the EC horror style, and that same sinister darkness crowds around the edges of her depictions of real-world Chicago.

These monster-comic throwbacks are absolute catnip for me. I, too, was a monster-obsessed kid, and spent endless hours watching, drawing, and dreaming about this kind of monster.

But Ferris isn't just a monster-obsessive; she's also a formally trained fine artist, and she infuses her love of great painters into Deeze, Karen's womanizing petty criminal of an older brother. Deeze and Karen's visits to the Art Institute of Chicago are commemorated with loving recreations of famous paintings, which are skillfully connected to pulp monster art with a combination of Deeze's commentary and Ferris's meticulous pen-strokes.

Seven years ago, Book One of My Favorite Thing Is Monsters absolutely floored me, and I early anticipated Book Two, which was meant to conclude the story, picking up from Book One's cliff-hanger ending. Originally, that second volume was scheduled for just a few months after Book One's publication (the original manuscript for Book One ran to 700 pages, and the book had been chopped down for publication, with the intention of concluding the story in another volume).

But the book was mysteriously delayed, and then delayed again. Months stretched into years. Stranger rumors swirled about the second volume's status, compounded by the bizarre misfortunes that had befallen book one. Last winter, Bleeding Cool's Rich Johnston published an article detailing a messy lawsuit between Ferris and her publishers, Fantagraphics:

https://bleedingcool.com/comics/fantagraphics-sued-emil-ferris-over-my-favorite-thing-is-monsters/

The filings in that case go some ways toward resolve the mystery of Book Two's delay, though the contradictory claims from Ferris and her publisher are harder to sort through than the mysteries at the heart of Monsters. The one sure thing is that writer and publisher eventually settled, paving the way for the publication of the very long-awaited Book Two:

https://www.fantagraphics.com/products/my-favorite-thing-is-monsters-book-two

Book Two picks up from Book One's cliffhanger and then rockets forward. Everything brilliant about One is even better in Two – the illustrations more lush, the fine art analysis more pointed and brilliant, the storytelling more assured and propulsive, the shocks and violence more outrageous, the characters more lovable, complex and grotesque.

Everything about Two is more. The background radiation of the Vietnam War in One takes center stage with Deeze's machinations to beat the draft, and Deeze and Karen being ensnared in the Chicago Police Riots of '68. The allegories, analysis and reproductions of classical art get more pointed, grotesque and lavish. Annika's Nazi concentration camp horrors are more explicit and more explicitly connected to Karen's life. The queerness of the story takes center stage, both through Karen's first love and the introduction of a queer nightclub. The characters are more vivid, as is the racial injustice and the corruption of the adult world.

I've been staring at the spine of My Favorite Thing Is Monsters Book One on my bookshelf for seven years. Partly, that's because the book is such a gorgeous thing, truly one of the great publishing packages of the century. But mostly, it's because I couldn't let go of Ferris's story, her characters, and her stupendous art.

After seven years, it would have been hard for Book Two to live up to all that anticipation, but goddammit if Ferris didn't manage to meet and exceed everything I could have hoped for in a conclusion.

There's a lot of people on my Christmas list who'll be getting both volumes of Monsters this year – and that number will only go up if Fantagraphics does some kind of slipcased two-volume set.

In the meantime, we've got more Ferris to look forward to. Last April, she announced that she had sold a prequel to Monsters and a new standalone two-volume noir murder series to Pantheon Books:

https://twitter.com/likaluca/status/1648364225855733769

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/06/01/the-druid/#oh-my-papa

#pluralistic #books #reviews #lgbtq #pride #gift guide #graphic novels #emil ferris #comics #monsters

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vivalas-vega · 1 year

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sunshine / jake 'hangman' seresin x reader

heyooo !!! the fic I've been teasing for the past few days is finally here ! I don't know that I'm fully happy with it but I've invested a minimum of 25 hours into this and I had to metaphorically put the pen down at some point. I hope you enjoy, as always please please please let me know what you think!

sunshine / jake 'hangman' seresin x reader

add yourself to my taglist

feel free to buy me a kofi if you like my work!

based on this request! here is your fic @gryffindormarveltwilight :)

word count: 14k (estimated read time: 60 minutes)

warnings: language, drinking, some suggestive humor, brief rooster x reader/allusions to rooster x reader, navy inaccuracies, terrible descriptions of flying a fighter jet pls forgive me

Sitting in your superiors' stuffy office underneath dim fluorescent lighting the only thing you could think of was that your best friend was right. A point that you didn’t want to admit to anyone, let alone her… but that was also a lie, the biggest thought dominating your headspace was her brother. Jacob Seresin. She’d told you a thousand times over to get ahead of it, that you couldn’t keep this secret forever and to just come clean to him and your family but you’d dug your heels in, insisted this was the right way to go about things, and god did you hate eating your words. She was fucking right.

You were reminded of Thanksgiving two years ago, one of the events in a long list of near-misses where your secret almost came to light.

“Sunshine, your phone keeps ringing, do you want me to get it?” Jake asked from across the couch. You were fully immersed in your novel with your legs stretched out and resting against his, you hadn’t even noticed your phone… or anything else for that matter outside of the world you were holding in your palms.

“Just silence it,” you said as you flipped the page.

“Wait a minute,” he said and the shift in his tone pulled your attention to him. He was staring at your phone screen in shock… or was that confusion? “How the fuck do you know Rooster?” he asked and your blood ran cold.

“What?” you asked and he flipped the screen around to reveal Rooster’s contact photo. You thanked your previous self for cropping yourself out of it because this was going to be hard enough to explain without the addition of you in your khakis. “Oh,” you chuckled, hoping to just brush it off entirely as you sat up. “You know, I kind of forgot he was a pilot, too. I met him a few months ago when I went to San Diego for that convention.”

“And you didn’t think to tell me you happened to meet another naval aviator?”

You shrugged, “I didn’t think you knew him.” You knew he did. “We met in a bar and hit it off, we’ve kept in contact since.”

“Are you like… a thing?” he asked, disgust evident in his tone.

You laughed, “no, you know… it is possible to meet someone in a bar and not immediately jump their bones.” you said, trying to deflect this conversation in its entirety.

“Nope, you’re not flipping this around on me.” Damn it. “I find it awfully suspicious this is the first I’m hearing of Rooster… by accident no less.”

You sighed, “fine, you caught me. I’m secretly a naval aviator too and Rooster was my wingman on a mission in Eastern Europe,” you said, and you didn’t try to sound innocent or sarcastic, just the right amount of indifference for him to not believe you.

He chuckled, “yeah of course you are, and I’m not an aviator, I’m actually a fucking astronaut.” He added an eye roll for dramatic effect. “At least make your lies believable, sunshine, you know you’d never even make it to basic because I’d have killed you before then.”

You let out a laugh but there was no humor in it, “you’re right… me being in the Navy is definitely far fetched.”

“Top Gun, sir?” you questioned, trying to focus your thoughts on the present and he nodded… not even fully looking at you as he sorted through paperwork on his desk.

“Despite your insistence on keeping your achievements quiet, you’ve caught the attention of a lot of people. Mission is need to know, and apparently I don’t make the cut,” there was a bitter taste on his tongue as he spoke the words. “All I know is the best of the best from every aviation squad are headed west.”

“Yes, sir. When do I leave?”

“You’re on a plane in six hours. Go home, pack, get your affairs in order. You report for duty at 08:00 tomorrow.” Six hours.

“They think I’m a research assistant to a fucking archeologist, Sadie! I mean, how stupid could I possibly be!” Your voice was shrill as you shouted in the general vicinity of your phone perched atop your dresser as you threw things into a duffel bag. You weren’t even concerned with what you were packing, you were more concerned with the fact that the single thread holding your intricate web of lies together was unraveling right in front of you. “You were right the other day when you said he already knows, he just… doesn’t know it’s me. I’ve heard of the infamous Hangman, there’s no way he hasn’t heard of Viper.”

“Just take a deep breath, I mean… I won’t say I told you so, even though I totally told you so.” Good thing she won’t gloat. “What’s the worst that can happen? He’ll be shocked, he might yell at you, he might rat you out to our parents but, maybe that’s for the best.”

“Maybe it’s for the best that everyone finds out I’ve been lying to them about what I do for a living for eight years?” you nearly shrieked as you rooted through your drawers for your one good swimsuit.

“Wouldn’t it be nice to stop taking online archeology courses on the off chance people ask you for specifics? Which… no one ever has because you picked a boring fake job to have, or wouldn’t it be nice to actually be able to tell your parents about your job, your achievements? Did I tell you that Jake actually mentioned Viper to me? Said something about some elusive hotshot pilot very few people have ever actually seen but their exploits have been heard everywhere.”

“Sadie, I called you because you’re supposed to be helping,” you groaned.

“Am I not?” she asked, genuinely sounding innocent and you just glared at the phone… and though she couldn’t see it, she definitely felt it all the way back home in Texas. “You know, you never actually told me how you got Viper as a call sign-”

“You know what, I have to go.” you said abruptly, cutting her off.

“What are you-” you didn’t bother listening to the rest of the sentence as you hung up and quickly dialed a number you hadn’t in months.

“Hey sunshine,” Jake’s voice rang throughout your room and normally the pet name bestowed on you from a very young age, meant to be ironic considering you’ve never had a sunny disposition, would have been comforting but now it just made you feel sick. “What are you up to?”

“Hey you,” you breathed out. “I just got off the phone with Sadie and I figured I’d give my favorite Seresin a call,” you joked and his laughter on the other end did nothing to ease your nausea.

“I’ll be sure to tell her you said so. Where are you calling from this time?” he asked and you thought there might be a winch in your chest, each sound from his end of the phone cranking it tighter and tighter.

“Uh, I’m actually stateside for a bit… lab work,” you lied. “What about you, jetsetter? Where’s the Navy got you now?” You were fishing.

“Also stateside, at least for now. Your timing is actually impeccable, I’m packing for a last-minute detachment and you were always better at that than me.” He was referencing all the times you’d wander up into his room just minutes before leaving for one of your shared family vacations, finding him standing in front of his closet with a blank look on his face and an empty suitcase on the bed, leaving you to do it all for him.

You chuckled nervously, “after all this time you still can’t pack a bag without my input?”

“Well, you’ve never forced me to figure it out for myself and the times I’ve had to go without I ended up with all the wrong things.”

“I’m pretty sure this is weaponized incompetence. Where are you headed?” You already knew the answer, but there was a small flicker of hope burning within you.

“San Diego, all I know is I’ve been recalled to Top Gun.” he answered and you felt your heart drop into your stomach.

“Well,” you started, clearing your throat, “definitely some shorts and t-shirts, maybe a few of those ridiculously tight short-sleeve button-ups you always insist on buying… but none of the bright colored ones, they’re awful.” you said and he laughed. “Throw in those green swim trunks if you plan on heckling any innocent women simply trying to enjoy some sun and surf.”

“Heckling innocent women, how do you know I’m not the one being heckled?”

You laughed, “because I know you, you’ve been a heartbreaker since age ten.”

“I prefer the term rolling stone,” he protested and you laughed again.

“I’m sure you do Mr. Rock n Roll but that is not the perception. Your mother worries.”

“Did she call you again?” he asked, voice going up an octave.

“Oh yes, she asked me if we crossed paths in Bosnia… because, of course we would have while I was in Bahrain, said I needed to talk some sense into you.”

“When were you in Bahrain?” he asked and you internally groaned. You’d said too much. But then again, as you looked at the clock it didn’t really matter how much you said. You could say hey Jake, by the way… I’ve been in the Navy all this time, I’ll see you soon! and it wouldn’t make a damn difference.

“Uh, you know… just a few months ago.”

“Huh, I almost went there a few months ago,” he said and you could hear the contemplation in his tone.

“Small world,” you said breathlessly. “Shoot, urgent text from the lab… I’ve gotta head in, call me when you get settled in San Diego?”

“I will, when this deployment is over I was actually going to try and get some leave… come visit you if you’re still stateside, if that’s alright?”

“Of course it is, I’ll talk to you later.” You fell backwards onto your bed with a huff as you disconnected the call, “son of a bitch.”

The red neon sign above the Hard Deck used to be a comforting image, a port in the storm, light illuminating a pathway towards a night of blowing off steam but right now it felt more like the flicker was mocking you, laughing as you prepared to walk through those doors and undo years of lying and manipulating those closest to you. You knew he’d be there. You were. There was nowhere else for aviators to go when arriving in town. Well… nowhere else aviators would go.

“Oh dear god,” you mumbled to yourself, keeping your head low as you waited for your beer. You saw Phoenix strutting across the bar with Fanboy and Payback in tow and the voice that rang out from the pool table made your blood run cold. Of course he was already here.

“What do we have here? If it ain’t Phoenix,” he said, fixing her with that famous smirk as he stood upright. “And here I thought we were special, Coyote. Turns out, the invite went to anyone.”

“Fellas, this here’s Bagman,” she introduced as you carefully approached, mindful of where you were positioning yourself as you started to slide back into your work persona.

“Hangman,” he corrected.

“Whatever.” she dismissed. “You’re looking at the one of only two naval aviators on active duty with confirmed air-to-air kills.”

“Stop,” he said, and you couldn’t help but chuckle and the faux-display of modesty. Always a showboater.

“Mind you, the other guy was in a museum piece from the Korean war.” she smirked, you’d been deployed with her a few times and you always found her ability to outpace the men refreshing and oh-so-needed in the Navy.

“Cold war,” Coyote corrected.

“Different wars, same century.” Payback said.

“Not this one,” Fanboy added.

“Who are your friends?” Coyote asked, gesturing to the two of them as they introduced themselves. “And I’m assuming this other aviator with a confirmed air-to-air kill will be gracing us with his presence tonight?”

“Her presence,” Phoenix said, narrowing her eyes as she corrected his assumption. “Call sign’s Viper, if you two made the cut then she definitely did.”

“Ah, Viper.” Jake chimed in and you felt your ears burn as you watched him from your spot behind a beam. The way your name fell from his lips in such a condescending way made your eyes narrow. “You know, I’ve heard an awful lot about this Viper but… I’ve never laid eyes on her. Pretty sure she’s just a myth, what do you think, Coyote?” he asked and his friend nodded his head.

“You just can’t stand that the person holding you in a draw is a woman.” Phoenix quipped and you couldn’t help but smile.

“No one’s holding me in anything, darlin’, but I can’t say I’m not excited to finally meet this elusive pilot… set the record straight on who’s number one.”

“Oh Jakey,” you tutted, finally emerging from your spot behind the beam as you approached the table and you ignored the way he was physically caught off guard, quickly standing from his perch on the pool table. “I wouldn’t hold your breath because it sure as shit ain’t you.” You looked him up and down once for good measure. “Bagman, and Hyena, was it? Names Viper, pleasure to meet you.” You held your hand out for Coyote with a smirk rivaling Jake’s. For all the fear you had about your secret coming to light you knew you had to come in strong, if you showed up with your tail between your legs like your old teenage self, scared of Hangman’s wrath you’d never get out from under it during training.

“So, you’re not a myth,” Coyote responded, shaking your hand but you weren’t looking at him… you were looking at Jake who’s eyes seemed like they were about to bug out of his head as they scanned you, clad in a matching khaki uniform.

“No, but she is a legend,” Fanboy piped in and you chuckled at the reinforcements.

“Hey V, knew you’d turn up sooner or later,” she said as she pulled you in for a quick hug and you reached out to squeeze both Payback and Fanboy’s shoulders in greeting. “And who’s this?” Phoenix asked, not picking up on the tension rising between you and Jake as her eyes glanced at the man sitting in standard-issue glasses to your left.

“Who’s who?” Coyote asked, not noticing he was there at all. She looked directly at him as he brushed peanuts off his lap. “When did you get in?”

“Oh, I- I’ve been here the whole time.” he answered with a cute smile on his face and you couldn’t help but chuckle at his earnestness.

“Man’s a stealth pilot,” Jake finally chipped in, seemingly recovering from your shocking arrival but his eyes still held a lot of questions you knew you’d be hearing later.

“Literally.” Coyote added.

“Weapons Systems Officer, actually,” the man corrected.

“With no sense of humor,” Jake sighed and you narrowed your eyes at him as he passed the pool cue to Phoenix before he made his way to the bar and you took the opportunity to slip away and follow him.

“Penny, my dear,” he started, leaning against the bartop. “I’ll have four more on the old timer.” he said, eyes darting to Maverick and you knew he’d regret saying that later. Everyone else might have been alarmingly slow at connecting the dots but you knew his presence here wasn’t a coincidence. As far as you knew he was supposed to be in Arizona acting as a test pilot.

“Unprepared for an ambush?” you asked and he sighed, you watched as his bicep flexed when he gripped the edge of the bar.

“You could say that,” he replied dryly.

“Doesn’t sound like the Hangman I’ve heard of… always so prepared for everything,” you shot back and he turned to look at you, expression steeled.

“Well, deception sounds exactly like the Viper I’ve heard of.” You couldn’t be surprised, verbal volleyball with him was always your forte and this time he had genuine cause to be upset. “What the hell are you doing here?” There it was.

“Recalled, same as you.” you answered, as if it was really that simple.

“In the Navy,” he clarified. “You didn’t think to mention this when we were on the phone four hours ago? Or better yet, when you joined?”

“Thought this would be better face to face.”

“What, were you calling just to get information from me?”

“I like being prepared, wanted to know what I was walking into.” you replied, keeping your features calm as you looked up at him.

“And you couldn’t have prepared me for seeing my little sister’s best friend in front of all my colleagues?”

“Your colleagues? Thought I was a little more than that,” you responded, focusing your attention forward and subtly nodding to Maverick who was sitting across the bar in lieu of a proper greeting. “You’re a professional, Hangman, I think you handled it well.”

“Like how well you’ve handled lying to your entire family? How was that dig in Bahrain, by the way?”

“Needed to come up with something to account for all the traveling and lack of contact,” you answered, cutting through to the question beneath the question.

“And where do they think you’re off to now?” he asked as Penny set the beers in front of you. “You know, just in case I need to cover your ass.”

“Croatia. Called them before I called you and Sadie.”

“Sadie knows?” he asked, shaking his head in disbelief. “Why the hell did you keep this from everyone?”

“Are you forgetting the chaos that ensued when you told everyone your plans after high school?” you asked. “Besides, I did tell you in no uncertain terms, you just turned it into a joke.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Thanksgiving a few years ago? When Rooster called?” you prompted and you watched his face fall.

“Oh my god,” he muttered.

“Yeah, I knew you wouldn’t believe me which is why I said it to get you off my back… and what you said about killing me before I even made it to basic just proves my reasoning was right to not tell anyone.”

“Wait, so Rooster really was your wingman on a mission?”

“Several.” you answered.

“I don’t understand, I first heard of Viper six years ago. How have we never crossed paths?”

“I asked to keep my accomplishments on the downlow, they thought it was modesty but really I didn’t want you finding out through a Navy newsletter. Truthfully, I don’t know how we haven’t been on detachments sooner, that was just dumb luck.”

“Dumb luck,” he scoffed, looking you over once more. “God dammit. I am happy to see you,” he finally conceded and you let out a laugh.

“Really? I’m not convinced,” you replied as he pulled you in for a tight hug.

“Meant what I said too,” he started, picking up two of the beers and nodding for you to grab the others. “I do intend on winning this tie between us.”

You laughed again, “good luck with that, bud.” you shot back as you walked back to the pool table. You were aware of the questioning eyes but you had no intention of filling anyone in at the moment.

“Bradshaw, as I live and breathe,”Jake said, swiping Bob’s pool cue as you gave Rooster a one-arm hug.

“Hangman, you look… good,” Rooster responded, apprehension clear in his voice and you shared a look with Phoenix.

“Well, I am good, Rooster.” he replied, lining up and taking his shot. “I’m very good, in fact, I am too good to be true.” You rolled your eyes as you watched Phoenix give Rooster an exasperated look.

“So,” Payback interjected, “anyone know what this special detachment is all about?”

“No, a mission’s a mission, that don’t confront me.” You watched in amusement as he made his way around the pool table, oozing arrogance. You’d heard the stories of the cocky pilot but seeing it before you, in stark contradiction to the Jake you grew up with, was jarring to say the least. “What I want to know: who’s gonna be team leader? And which one of y’all has what it takes to follow me?”

“Hangman, the only place you’ll lead anyone is an early grave.” Rooster replied and you watched Jake continue his path with an overwhelming urge to smack the smirk off of his face. If you wanted to, you knew you were the only person here who could get away with it.

“Well, anyone who follows you is just gonna run out of fuel.” Jake shot back, “But that’s just you ain’t it, Rooster? You’re snug on that perch waiting for just the right moment… that’s never gonna come.” He finished, stepping closer. “I love this song,” he added before walking away.

“Well, he hasn’t changed.” Phoenix sighed.

“Nope, sure hasn’t.” Rooster agreed and you chuckled.

“If only you knew how untrue that was,” you said, eyebrows raised as you looked after him, a man almost completely unrecognizable to you now. You were almost impressed that he was able to suppress this new side of himself when he went back home just as easily as you did.

“Thought you were in Bahrain,” Rooster commented and you spared him a quick glance.

“Thought you were in Japan,” you replied simply.

“Looks like your intel is outdated,” he said and you finally looked over to him with a smirk.

“Same goes for you.” You nudged his shoulder with yours, “good to see you, Roo.”

“Does anyone here have a normal relationship with one another?” Coyote asked, watching as Rooster disappeared and as you went to steal some of Bob’s peanuts.

“This is like a dysfunctional summer camp reunion, Coyote. When have we all been in the same room at the same time?” Phoenix answered.

“Any thoughts as to how this is going to play out?” Jake asked, sidling up beside you as you ordered another beer and you didn’t even look in his direction as you watched Penny mix a drink for someone.

“Thought it was just a mission… none of the details confront you,” you responded and he didn’t miss the air of mockery in your tone.

“I meant between us,” he clarified and you glanced at him out of the corner of your eye.

“Thought we were just colleagues.”

He shot you an unamused look, “are you really going to be like that?” he asked and you shrugged.

“Matching your energy, Hangman. Have to say, I was hoping the rumors were false.”

“Oh yeah? And what rumors are those, Viper?”

“The rumors that you’re an arrogant asshole. Imagine my surprise to find the Jake I know nowhere in sight.”

“Well, imagine my surprise to find out the girl who used to steal my sweatshirts and whine if I didn’t cut the crust off her sandwiches in the Navy with a reputation of being a calculated bitch.”

“I’m a woman in the Navy, what’s your excuse?” you fired back and he nodded his head appreciatively as if to say touche.

He sighed, “I just mean… we have history, how do you want to go about that?”

“Pretty sure everyone here has some form of history with each other, I don’t see why we need to go about it any particular way.” you shrugged and he narrowed his eyes at you.

“Why do I get the feeling this is going to be a long detachment?”

“Probably because you’re right.”

“I just don’t understand why you can’t be a team player. You’re taking this whole Hangman thing too far,” you snapped from your side of the booth. “I’m sick of doing push ups because of you.”

“Ever considered it’s just because you’re the one that’s failing?” Jake asked with a smirk.

“No, it’s just because you’re a shitty wingman, always have been.”

“Now what is that supposed to mean?”

You laughed dryly, “Christmas? Two years ago? You had one job, be a decent wingman. You can’t do it on the ground and you certainly can’t do it in the air.”

“Hold up. Christmas two years ago? What do you mean?” Phoenix asked, having

overheard your latest round of ripping into Jake as she was walking by and you let out a sigh.

“Bagman and I grew up together,” you finally came clean and you gave her an exasperated look as she did a terrible job at masking her shock.

“Wait, like grew up grew up together? As kids?”

“My best friend is his sister,” you explained as briefly as you could. “Well, that makes a hell of a lot more sense than my theory,” she said and you furrowed

your brows.

“What was your theory?” you and Jake asked at the same time.

“I thought you two had slept together on a deployment,” she shrugged and you blinked in surprise. You looked at Jake and waited for him to respond because you were at a loss for words at the implication.

“Your quickness to assume I’ve slept with every woman I’ve come into contact with is frankly insulting,” he said and you bit back a laugh.

“But not entirely untrue,” you muttered.

“Please tell me you have embarrassing stories about him,” Phoenix pleaded and you let out a full laugh now.

“Oh, I definitely do.”

“That will remain in the vault because unless you’re forgetting, I have stories too.” Jake chimed in and you rolled your eyes.

“Hold on, I’ve been deployed with both of you, and mentioned both of you to each other, how is this the first I’m hearing of this?” she asked and you noticed the way almost everyone was not subtly listening in.

“Our families didn’t have the warmest reaction to him joining the Navy, let alone to be a fighter pilot… so I just kept it to myself when I did. Jake didn’t know until last week,” you answered.

She shot him a weird look, “I always forget you have a real name… makes you too human,” she muttered before slipping away and you chuckled.

“Cat’s outta the bag now,” he said, eyeing you over the rim of his glass as he took a drink and you didn’t miss the way his pupils dilated as Rooster came into his field of vision.

“Buy you a refill?” he asked you and you nodded, allowing him to pull you up and lead you to the bar. “So, you and Hangman have history?” You realized he must have only caught a piece of your previous conversation.

“Mmhm,” you confirmed, “Seems everyone has history with him, including you.” you said as the two of you sat down on the bar stools.

“Nothing beyond the obvious.”

“And what’s the obvious?” you asked and he smirked, sliding a fresh beer towards you.

“I’ll show you mine if you show me yours,” he said and you raised your eyebrows at him before he chuckled. “Thought it’d be good to catch up… haven’t heard from you since our last mission.”

“And whose fault is that?” you shot back, with Rooster it was always about what was unsaid. On the surface you weren’t even sure this would be considered a conversation, too much back and forth with not enough shared in each passing remark.

“You know how it is,” he shrugged and you nodded.

“How was Japan?”

“How was Bahrain?” You stared him down before cracking, a smile spreading across your face as you laughed.

“You know I can’t tell you.”

“You know I can keep a secret. Besides, what are friends for?”

“Oh, are we friends now?” you countered, amusement clear in your tone.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize we weren’t.” he shot back.

“Our last communication was you sending me a photo of bird shit on your canopy with a series of emojis that I’m honestly still unsure the meaning of.”

“That’s peak friendship,” he laughed. “What is the story with you and Hangman and why was I not allowed to tell him we knew each other?”

“He’s my best friend’s brother,” you said and realization passed over his features. “He’s a little… protective, and I knew he wouldn’t respond well to me being in the Navy.”

“Ah, well that explains why he looks like he wants to kill me everytime I get close to you,” he said and you looked over your shoulder to find him glaring in your general direction and you let out a laugh.

“That’s just his face when it comes to you.”

“No, pretty sure it’s more than that,” he replied and you raised an eyebrow at him as if to say elaborate. He reached down to grab your stool and yanked you closer, forcing your legs to slide in between his and smirked as he brushed a strand of hair behind your ear while you just looked at him with wide eyes. “I give it five minutes, tops.”

“Five minutes for what?” you asked, coming out a little more breathless than you were hoping for.

“The way he looks at you is far more intense than just being his sister’s best friend… I’m just testing my theory,” he said, voice low with how close the two of you were.

“And what do you think these test results will yield?”

“I think he’s going to stew over there for a moment,” he said leaning closer as he looked over your shoulder and nodded slightly, “just like he’s doing right now… and then when I make any sort of indication of taking this further he’s going to come pull you right out of this chair and drag you off.”

“Hmm,” you hummed, deciding to lean into it if only for the fact that your life was so hectic you had no time for attention like this… even if it was for show, and you let your fingers absentmindedly drag along his forearm. “And how are you going to indicate taking this further?” you asked, your eyes almost daring him.

“You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?” he teased, a smirk tugging at the corners of his lips as his fingers trailed along your thigh.

You gave a half-hearted shrug, “contrary to popular belief, I’m not immune to a little flirting… real or not.”

He frowned slightly, “I know you’re not immune or are you purposefully forgetting our first mission?”

“I’m not sure I know what you’re talking about,” you replied and now it was your turn to smirk. You saw something in his expression shift, like he was accepting the challenge you’d just given him.

“Do I need to remind you?” he asked, inching closer and your breath hitched when his hand rested on your neck. “Because I remember it quite vividly,” he whispered in your ear and you couldn’t help the shiver that raced up your spine.

“I think it’s coming back to me now,” you said as he pulled back to look at you and he chuckled.

“Incoming.” you furrowed your brows at him as he leaned away but before you could ask him what he meant you felt a strong hand wrap around your arm and yank you upwards and suddenly you found yourself being pulled across the bar and one glance back to Rooster only revealed a smug look that said I told you so. And he did.

“Get off of me!” you yelled as you pushed Jake’s hand off you, crossing your arms over your chest as you glared up at him and squinted your eyes to shield from the sun setting over the beach… now just a handful of yards away in your new location. “What the hell is your problem?”

“I could ask you the same thing.” You just gestured for him to explain. “Rooster? Really?”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“Please tell me you’re not that dense,” he said and you could see the disappointment in his features but what you couldn’t figure out was why. You just shook your head and threw your arms out in exasperation and he sighed. “Do you really think flirting with Rooster is a good idea?”

You let out an indignant laugh, “you think that was flirting?”

“Okay, I know you’re not that dense.”

“I know this has been difficult for you to wrap your head around but I have friendships on this squad outside of you that have been in existence for years. Whatever you think you saw was me catching up with an old friend.”

He scoffed, “and he just had to have his hands on your neck and thigh while doing so?”

“And so what if he did? I’m failing to see where this is any of your business and why it gave you the right to physically remove me from my conversation.”

“Figured I’d save you from making a mistake because it’s never a good idea to get involved with someone on your squad… especially on a mission as hard as this one.”

“You would know wouldn’t you?” you countered. “Speaking from personal experience?”

“Don’t do that, you always find a way to turn it around on me.”

“Maybe because you’re always the one in the wrong!” you shouted. “I know that me being here is weird for you, and I know it’s been an adjustment having me in the air with you but that does not give you the right to act like you have for the past eight years. I am not your kid sister’s best friend anymore, I am not a teenager that needs you to bail her out when guys get handsy.”

“Well, you’re definitely acting like a teenager who needs me to bail her out before she makes a mistake that could follow her around for the rest of her career.”

“You are the one acting like a teenager right now! In case you haven’t noticed because you’ve been too busy strutting around like you’re god’s fucking gift to us all, I’ve built an incredible career for myself, and I’m pretty damn good at what I do… I have to be, right? Because I landed myself here with you. Or do you think that was just a fluke? The only reason this is new to you is because I diminished myself to hide from you because I knew you couldn’t deal with the fact that I can handle my own shit now.”

“You think lying to everyone is handling your shit? You hid because you were too much of a coward to own up to it.”

You let out a bitter laugh, “I lied to everyone because they worry. Your mother cries every day you’re on deployment. Your sister calls me twice as much. Your dad goes to church twice a week. My parents check their phones every hour waiting to see if yours sent them any kind of update. It’s easier for everyone if they believe my traveling and being out of service range is because I’m safe and sound, digging up old relics. I lied because I knew you would act like this and I lied because giving our families some peace of mind was worth more to me than getting credit for everything I’ve accomplished.”

He was silent for a moment as he processed what you’d said, and he took a step back as silence permeated the outdoor patio. “I don’t think it was just a fluke,” he finally said and you let out a sharp exhale.

“Well, obviously it wasn’t, I’m a much better pilot than you.” you joked and he gave you a deadpan look. “Every time you snap at me in the air, or dismiss me in the training room, or conveniently occupy yourself elsewhere when my previous missions become the center of focus, you're only reinforcing the reasons I kept this from you. I didn’t want to. Of course I wanted to tell you of all people, I just… didn’t want to feel like I used to when we were growing up. Like the little kid you got stuck with.”

He sighed, “well, now I feel like a jackass.”

You shrugged, “well… you kind of are a jackass.”

“You’re not the little kid I got stuck with, sunshine. I just-”

“I get it,” you cut him off. You wanted this conversation to end before it got too deep, and you could tell by the look in his eyes you were about to jump headfirst into a conversation neither of you were ready for. “Come on, buy me a beer to make up for what a jackass you were.”

You were on your third run through of the mission today, probably the dozenth this week and each time something went wrong, or you weren’t fast enough, or nothing went wrong and you were fast enough but you missed the target. Between this and Maverick’s constant reminders of just how impossible this mission was, you were finding it hard to push through the noise and focus on your objectives… something that had never been an issue for you in the past. You’d made a career off of keeping your head down and doing what was expected of you no matter how difficult it was but this? Each time you stepped into the cockpit you couldn’t help but think you were training for your death.

“Talk to me, Bob,” Phoenix said as you flew above the dry terrain. You could feel the clock running out, both on this run through and your mission training in general.

“We are twelve seconds late on target, we gotta move! We gotta move,” Bob replied.

“Copy, try to stay with me,” you said as you increased your speed.

“Wait, who’s that?” Bob asked and you cocked your head slightly, waiting for further information.

“Blue team, you’ve been spotted.” Maverick’s voice rang throughout your headset and you winced.

“Shit, it’s Mav.”

“What the hell is he doing here?” Phoenix asked,

“I’m a bandit on course to intercept, blue team what are you gonna do?”

“He’s twenty miles left, ten o’clock. Seven hundred knots closure.” Bob supplied.

“Your call, what do you want to do?” you asked Phoenix, looking over your shoulder in the direction of her aircraft.

“Continue, we’re close. Stay on target.”

“He’s swinging around to the north,” Bob said as you began to brace yourself.

“Stand by for pop-up.”

“Be ready on that laser, Bob,” Phoenix ordered.

“Copy, I’m on it.”

“Blue team, bandit is still closing,” Maverick reminded you and you felt tension settling in your muscles.

“Popping now,” you communicated as you sharply moved to a steep incline. You gasped for air as the weight crushed you backwards into your seat. “Talk to me, Bob. Where’s Mav?”

“He’s five miles out, he’s coming fast.”

“Target’s in sight,” Phoenix said.

“Where’s my laser, Bob?” you asked, already feeling the panic creep in.

“Deadeye! Deadeye! It’s no good. Sorry, I can’t get a lock.”

“We’re out of time, I’m dropping blind,” you said with a slight shake of your head as your thumb hovered over the button as you tried to drop it at the exact right moment. “Fuck, I missed,” you sighed as you began your steep climb out.

“That’s tone,” Maverick said and you could hear the disappointment in his voice.

“Maverick’s got missile lock on us.” Bob groaned.

“Shit, we’re dead,” Phoenix cursed.

“Blue team, that’s a fail.” You let out a sharp exhale as you ripped your mask off in frustration. No matter how hard or how many times you tried you were always so close without ever actually making it. “That’s enough for today.” Maverick said as you leveled out and you navigated to flank him. “Bird strike! Bird strike!” he shouted as you tried to avoid the onslaught of birds but it was no use, you felt your jet become unsteady as one flew directly into your engine.

“Shit, left engine’s on fire. Climbing,” you said as you yanked up on the yoke. “Throttling back, shutting off fuel to left engine. Extinguishing fire,” you narrated as you ran through your mental checklist of everything you needed to do. “Fuck, it’s still spinning. Trying to restart,” you tried to keep your voice and your nerves steady but it was no use, the erratic beeping filling the cockpit was threatening to pull you apart.

“Viper, it’s on fire! Don’t start-” Maverick started but you cut him off.

“Throttling up.” You watched as everything flashed at you and you tried to regain control as you quickly lost altitude. “Extinguishing right engine.” Everything was in failure and you were running out of options.

“Viper, punch out.” Maverick ordered as your jet hurtled towards the hillside in a spiral. “You can’t save it. Eject, eject!”

“Fuck, ejecting! Ejecting!” you shouted as you pulled the handles between your feet and the last thing you remembered was watching your plane burn in.

You awoke in a panic, gripping the sheets as a distant beeping accelerated your heart rate and as if on autopilot your hands grabbed for the controls but there was nothing but fabric. “Hey, hey you’re okay,” you heard and you let out a sharp exhale as you saw Jake sitting beside you, leaned forward in his chair with concern written all over his face.

“I don’t- what the hell happened?”

“Bird strike. Thank god you punched out in time but you lost consciousness on the way down. Doc said you’re fine, they’re coming to discharge you soon,” he explained and you nodded as you began to calm down.

“Jesus,” you whispered before another wave of panic rolled over you. “Mav? Phoenix and Bob?” you asked, realizing you’d been so wrapped up in your own cockpit you didn’t even know if the voices coming through your headset were for you or if they were struggling with their own aircrafts.

“They’re good, Mav stopped by earlier to check in and everyone has been blowing up the group chat asking for updates,” he chuckled as he rested a hand on your leg.

“Just another thing to tack onto the long list of failures with this mission,” you sighed, running a hand through your hair.

He frowned at you, “hey, no one faults you for this. You can’t control bird strikes,” he reassured. “Everyone is just glad you got out.” His thumb was rubbing reassuring circles against your thigh and you took a deep breath as you tried to shake off the way he was looking at you. It was concern and… something else you couldn’t place.

“Jake, I don’t… I don’t think everyone’s going to come back from this,” you whispered, it was a universal truth, everyone had thought it at one point or another, Maverick had basically said it without being explicit, and you knew damn well Cyclone didn’t care about casualties so long as the mission was completed. “We can’t even get through dropping the bombs, we haven’t even accounted for SAM’s or bandits.”

“If anyone can do it, it’s us.” he said, voice firm and you knew it was a defense mechanism. He wouldn’t come out and say it but he shared the same fears you did. “Come on, let’s get you up, everyone wants to see that you’re alive and well for themselves,” he diverted but you knew better. He just didn’t want to get into it with you because if he did he wasn’t sure he’d be able to flip the switch back. He had to stay focused and so did you.

The drive to the Hard Deck was silent, much like a lot of your time had been with Jake recently and it made you want to rip your hair out. You couldn’t deal with the hot and cold, one minute you felt like nothing had changed when he brought you your coffee exactly how you liked it, or when you were doubled over in laughter by the dart board and the next he was distant, blowing you off entirely and pretending you were no more than a colleague. You knew things wouldn’t be like how they were back home, this was work and the lives of you and your team were on the line. There were more important things to focus on but when you watched him let loose with Coyote after-hours or humor Fanboy while he talked about some nerdy tv show you couldn’t help but think it felt like a knife to the back.

“Easy, I know you’re sore even though you’re pretending you’re not,” he said softly as he helped you climb out of the car and you just gave him a deadpan look.

“I’m not pretending,” you protested and he smirked.

“Sure you’re not,” he agreed, even though he really didn’t.

“There she is!” Fanboy cheered as you walked in and you gave a bashful smile, hiding your face behind your hands to shield yourself from the commotion. “How are you feeling? What’d the doctor say?” he asked as everyone looked at you intently.

Bob elbowed him, “you are under no obligation to share your private medical information,” he said, clear disapproval in his tone at everyone’s nosiness.

You chuckled, “it’s okay, Bob. No concussion, nothing broken, just some light bruising in my ribs. Still cleared to fly so it looks like the competition hasn’t been knocked out yet,” you teased.

“Thank god, I couldn’t stand it if you abandoned me,” Phoenix said with a warm smile as she wrapped an arm around your waist carefully. “Are you allowed to drink?”

“It’s actually been encouraged,” you joked and she nodded before disappearing.

“Glad you’re okay,” Rooster said, giving you a sheepish smile. “Scared the shit out of all of us.”

“I like to keep you on your toes,” you replied. “Since I almost died today and all…” you started and he rolled his eyes.

“Oh, so you’re milking this?”

“Mmhm,” you smirked. “Since I almost died today, think you could go play a little something?” you asked and he shook his head with a chuckle.

“For you, I think that can be arranged.” you watched with a small smile as he did his usual routine of yanking the cord of the jukebox out of the wall before sauntering over to the piano. You loved watching the bar crowd around him, watching your new and old friends sing along and bust out terrible dance moves. It made it a little easier to forget the impending doom you were all facing.

“Did you make that happen?” Phoenix asked, placing a glass of bourbon in your hand.

“Not like I had to try very hard,” you laughed, watching as she nearly ran over to join him.

“You’ve always been so good at that,” Jake said, appearing beside you suddenly and you tore your eyes away from watching the fun for a moment to look up at him.

“What’s that?”

“Bringing people together,” he answered, gazing down at you. “This could have been just another detachment. Forced friendship while we’re stuck with each other before we go back to our normal squads, but nothing about that looks forced to me,” he said, turning back to watch Bob twirling Phoenix around, Payback and Fanboy doing the robot to a song completely unsuited for such a dance, Coyote and Rooster singing at the top of their lungs.

“Thank you,” you said and he pulled his attention back to you, an unasked question on his face. “For staying with me, it was nice having you there when I woke up.”

He shrugged, “no problem, you’re Sadie’s best friend… pretty sure she would have flown out here just to kick my ass if I didn’t.” Your face fell for a moment but you quickly recovered.

“Right, just Sadie’s best friend,” you muttered, polishing off your drink in one swig. Suddenly you felt silly, of course that’s only how he saw you. You were naive to think the ‘friendship’ you’d built over the past two decades was nothing more than the fact that you were in his life because of his sister, because your families had bonded over the daughters who couldn’t stand to be apart for more than twelve hours. The quarterly phone calls and drinking sessions past midnight over the holidays were nothing more than circumstantial.

“Sunshine-” he started but you gave him an empty smile.

“Need a refill,” you said before walking towards the bar and Penny saw you coming, saw the look in your eyes and was quick to pour as soon as you’d set the glass down.

“Gave everyone quite a scare today, you alright?” she asked and you nodded. You knew she wasn’t really asking you about your ejection but you were content to pretend she was.

“All good, comes with the territory,” you chuckled and she gave you a knowing look.

“That one’s on me, consider it your unofficial hazard pay,” she joked and you took a moment to lean against the bar as you collected your thoughts. You couldn’t help but feel stupid to think that even with the rigors of the job and learning curve of being around each other professionally you’d find some sort of groove resembling the one you settled into back home. You wondered what the hell that even was when you were home. He was always the highlight of your holidays, someone who understood you even though he didn’t know it. You looked forward to sneaking into his room when everyone had gone to sleep with a bottle to talk shit about your families and you shook your head as you sat in the embarrassment of thinking he could have looked forward to that too.

“Sunshine, I didn’t mean-” he started as he approached you and you just shook your head.

“It’s fine, I get it.” you said, focusing your attention on Rooster who was still fiddling with the keys while everyone went back to their groups and listened to it as background noise. “Training is almost over and when the mission is done we can go back to our squads and you can forget about the little kid who’s been following you around for twenty years.”

“I don’t think you’re a little kid, I really didn’t mean anything by-”

“Jake.” you cut him off, turning to look up at him. “Really, it’s fine. With any luck after this we won’t see each other until Christmas so… maybe it’s better if we just focus on our own shit. We have enough to worry about.” You walked across the bar and slid onto the bench with Rooster who gave you a questioning look.

“Everything okay?” he asked and you nodded, taking a swig of your drink.

“What do you say to a little Great Balls of Fire?” you asked, resting your head on his shoulder for a moment and with just a few of the opening chords he’d pulled everyone right back in just like he always did.

“It’s been an honor flying with you,” Maverick started as you all stood at attention. “Each one of you represents the best of the best. This is a very specific mission, my choice is a reflection of that and nothing more.”

“Choose your two foxtrot teams,” Cyclone said and the tension in the room was palpable.

“Payback and Fanboy, Phoenix and Bob.” You smiled softly, that’s exactly who you would have picked.

“And your wingman,” Cyclone added and you felt the anxiety settle in the pit of your stomach. It was between you, Rooster, and Jake… You knew there was a complicated history between Maverick and Rooster, and despite your instability with Jake you didn’t want to be pitted against him.

“Viper.” he called out and the first person you looked at was Rooster who was doing a great job at masking his feelings and he shot you a tight smile. You glanced forward to find Jake looking at you and he gave you a slight nod. You thought getting picked for this mission would feel better than this, but you only felt sick.

“The rest of you will stand by on the carrier for any reserve role that’s required. Dismissed,” Warlock said and your limbs were slow to catch up with your brain as you began to move for the exit to head back to your bunk. You’d been training for weeks yet you felt entirely unprepared. Maverick stepping in as team leader restored a bit of your confidence but even with him leading you knew the odds of actually pulling this off and everyone making it back were slim. Part of you was relieved it was you and not Jake, or Rooster. Rooster still had a legacy to fulfill, and Jake simply wasn’t finished. He had a lot left to learn, and a lot left to accomplish.

“Hey,” Rooster called after you, jogging to catch up and you stopped in front of your door, looking around at the crowded hallway and you subtly nodded for him to follow you. “Congratulations.” he said as you closed the door behind you.

“I’m sorry,” you started but he shook his head.

“You have nothing to be sorry for. You earned this, I know better than anyone how good you are in the air. Mav made the right call… I’m only sorry you aren’t team leader, we all thought you would be.”

“If it makes you feel any better you would have been my wingman if I was,” you offered and he chuckled.

“Not Hangman?”

You sighed, “I trust Jake implicitly on the ground, but… I can’t in the air, and he hasn’t had the best reaction to seeing me in this environment. You on the other hand I know I can trust in the air. You’ve saved my ass several times,” you said with a soft smile.

“Only as often as you’ve saved mine,” he replied. “I think you need to look at Hangman’s attitude towards you through a different lens.”

“What do you mean?” you asked as you slightly tilted your head in confusion.

“It’s not that he sees you as his little sister’s best friend, or the kid he can’t seem to escape… it’s the fact that he doesn’t see you that way, and now he’s forced to face it every day.”

“If he doesn’t see me that way, then what way does he see me?” you asked, struggling to put the dots together and he just smiled.

“I can’t do all the work for you.” he said, pulling you in for a hug. “I’ve missed having you around, V.”

“I’ve missed having you around too, Roo. Let’s be actual friends when this is all over… which means no more sending me photos of bird shit on your canopy,” you said with a laugh.

“I told you, that’s peak friendship!” he said and you pulled away when your door creaked open.

“Sorry, am I interrupting?” Jake asked as he poked his head in, clearly uncomfortable and you and Rooster both shook your heads.

“No, I was just leaving… I’ll see you before, yeah?” Rooster asked and you nodded, giving his arm a squeeze as he walked past. “Hey, don’t think, just do, right?” he said before leaving and you nodded.

“Don’t think, just do.”

“Sure you two aren’t a thing?” Jake asked as he walked in, glancing behind him to make sure he was gone and you chuckled.

“Scout’s honor,” you replied.

“I just wanted to come congratulate you,” he said and you let out another soft laugh.

“Seems everyone wanted to do that,” you said. “Thank you, I’m sorry you weren’t picked.”

“Don’t be, you were right. You’re the better pilot,” he said and there wasn’t an ounce of dishonesty in his tone. “I need you to have a clear head while you’re up there, but… can we talk when this is all over? I handled this completely wrong and I don’t want to forget about the girl that’s been in my corner for twenty years when we go back to our old squads.” you smiled at the way he rephrased what you’d said earlier.

You nodded, “I’d like that.”

He moved towards the door but turned back to say, “I know Sadie’s your best friend, but just so you know… you’re mine,” before he left and you let out a sharp exhale and flopped onto your bunk as the door shut behind him. You put your hands over your eyes as you let what both Rooster and Jake said sink in and it left you with far more questions than you had when you entered this dorm… so much for having a clear head. You heard the door push open and let out a groan, sitting up to see who was coming to mess with your head now but quickly turned sheepish.

“Jesus, hello to you too,” Phoenix muttered as she walked in and set something on her bunk. “Saw both your boyfriends leave,” she said with a smirk and you rolled your eyes before laying back down.

“They’re not my boyfriends.” you protested and she just laughed.

“Sure they aren’t. How are you feeling?”

“How are you feeling?” you shot back as she sat next to you.

“Terrified, but we’re as ready as we’re going to be.” You sat up and turned to face her fully.

“I’m really glad you’re flying with me, Phe. How badass are we? Not one but two women selected for the uber secret, uber dangerous mission?” you asked and she let out a laugh.

“Super badass, now we just gotta make sure we come home so we can brag about it.”

You stood on the platform with nerves rattling you to your core. You took a deep breath and shook your limbs out as you looked up at your jet. You reached up to press your hand to its exterior and said, “no funny business today, alright? I wanna come home.”

“Sunshine!” you heard from behind you and turned to see Jake jogging towards you. You stood in silence for a moment before he pulled you in for a bone crushing hug. “You give ‘em hell, okay?” You nodded when he pulled away and you watched him walk to his own jet where he’d be sitting as Dagger Spare. You made eye contact with Maverick who gave you a nod that you returned, a silent exchange that solidified you were in this together.

“Dagger One, up and ready on catapult one.” Maverick said in your ear and you exhaled forcefully, willing any reservations to leave your body with your breath.

“Dagger Spare standing by.”

“Dagger Four, up and ready.”

“Dagger Three, up and ready.”

“Dagger Two, up and ready,” you said as you focused your mind and pushed out anything but the mission. You weren’t going to think about what Rooster had said, or about what Jake wanted to talk to you about when this was all over, and especially not what you were hoping he wanted to talk to you about. Blocking out the noise was what you were good at, and one of the reasons you were selected. Get in, get out, go home. That’s all you had to do.

You launched off the catapult and fell into formation behind Maverick and listened for the command to fall below the radar. The ocean was closer than it had ever been before and somehow it felt so different from your proximity to the ground during training. This was real. This wasn’t a simulation.

“Feet dry in sixty seconds. Comanche, Dagger One. Picture.”

“Comanche, picture clean. Decision is yours.”

“Copy,” Maverick replied and waited for a beat before saying, “Dagger attack.” Not that it was an option before but there was no turning back now. You watched the tomahawks fly over your head as you assumed attack formation and marked your time as you entered the valley and rounded the snowy ridges. “First SAM site overhead.”

“Looks like we’re clear on radar, Mav.” Phoenix said.

“Let’s not take it for granted.” You knew they were there but you chose to ignore the presence of the SAM’s above you. Worrying about them now wouldn’t do you any good, you had plenty of time for that later. Your only concern was staying below where you could trigger them.

“We got two minutes to target,” Bob said and you checked your radar, increasing your speed.

“Stay with me, Payback.” you grunted as you overtook a curve.

“I got you,” he confirmed.

“We’re picking up two bandits. Single group, two contacts.” Comanche informed and you furrowed your brows slightly.

“Comanche, what’s their heading?” Phoenix asked.

“Bullseye 090, 50, tacked southwest.”

“They’re headed away from us, they don’t know we’re here,” you replied.

“The second those tomahawks hit the airbase those bandits are gonna move to defend the target, we have to get there before they do. Increase speed,” Maverick ordered and you nodded to yourself as you did.

“We got you Mav, don’t wait for me,” Phoenix responded. You lagged as you finally saw one of the SAM’s, a visual you were trying really hard to avoid and your breath caught in your throat as some of the noise started to creep in.

“Stay with me, V, don’t think.” Maverick said to you and you nodded to yourself again.

“Just do,” you finished as you pushed forward on the throttle.

“Jesus, Viper,” Payback shouted in your ear and you chuckled.

“Come on, Payback, you with me?” you asked. “Watch your heads,” you warned as you navigated through a bridge.

“Right behind you!” he confirmed after Fanboy let out some expletives that let you know they were still tailing you.

“Phoenix, stand-by for pop-up strike.”

“Dagger Three in position,” she replied. You heard their grunts through the headset as they fought against the gravity trying to pull them backwards.

“Get me eyes on that target, Bob!”

“Dagger Three, standby, Mav… Standby… I’ve got it!”

“Target acquired, bombs away.” Mav said and you felt your body stiffen as you waited for confirmation.

“We’ve got impact. Check, direct hit! Direct hit!” Bob yelled and you felt a wave of relief that disappeared as quickly as it had washed over you.

“Dagger Two, status.”

“Almost there, Mav, almost there,” you replied as you flew over the ridge.

“Fanboy, where’s my laser?” you asked as you grew closer to the target.

“V, there’s something wrong with this laser… Shit! Dead eye, dead eye, dead eye!” Fanboy shouted and you cursed under your breath.

“Come on, we are running out of time. Get it online!” you yelled back.

“I’m trying!”

“Come on, Fanboy!” you heard Payback say and you were running a risk analysis in your head.

“Nearly there, nearly there!”

“There’s no time, I’m dropping blind.” you said, voice calm and steady as you focused on the target.

“Viper, I’ve got this!” Fanboy tried and you wanted to reassure him but you couldn’t.

“Pull up. Bombs away, bombs away!” you said as you pressed your button before pulling up.

“Bullseye, bullseye, bullseye!” you heard command say but you couldn’t focus on anything as you tried to get oxygen to your brain, the force was compressing your lungs and you could feel the edges of your vision darken as you let out breathless pants.

“We’re not out of this yet,” Maverick grunted. “Here it comes.” you listened as they communicated, trying to evade the SAM’s. “Viper, status.” You wanted to answer but you couldn’t as you flew over the ridge and onto the radar.

“Oh fuck,” you muttered, looking overhead as the missiles launched. “Smoke in the air!”

“SAM on your six, Viper!” Payback warned.

“Deploying countermeasures,” you called as you slammed the button. “Negative contact.”

“Dagger one defending.”

“Talk to me, Bob!”

“Break right, Phoenix, break right! Mav, nine o’clock! Nine o’clock!” It was pure chaos as they exploded overhead.

“Viper, two more on your six!” you heard someone say but you couldn’t tell who.

“Dagger Two, defending,” you said as you hit your flare button.

“Payback, SAM on your nose.”

“Dagger Four defending.”

“Viper, tally, tally, seven o’clock!

“Talk to me, Bob!”

“On our six!”

“Dagger Two defending.”

“Phoenix, break right!”

“I see it, I see it!” Everyone’s voices were overlapping as you tried to look out for yourselves and each other, in all your years in the Navy you’d been in some pretty fucked up situations but this one just felt different. You yelled out to Phoenix and watched as she came close to taking a hit, and you could hear Fanboy’s panicked shouts trying to keep up with what was going on around you. You thought that if you had the time you might throw up, but you didn’t.

“Dagger Two, defending,” you said as you looked over your shoulder to see two on your tail. “Fuck, I’m out of flares!”

“Viper, evade, evade!” Maverick shouted and you whipped your jet around but shook your head.

“I can’t shake ‘em! They’re on me, they’re on me!” You watched Maverick’s jet pass overhead as he deployed his flares but gasped when one hit his tail. Your heart sank as you watched what was left of his jet fall out of the sky and tears pricked at your eyes that you quickly blinked away.

“Maverick!” you yelled, trying to turn in your seat to look for a parachute.

“Dagger One is hit! I repeat, Dagger One is hit! Maverick is down!” Phoenix called out as the wreckage of his plane floated down around you.

“Dagger One status? Status!” you asked with no answer. “Anyone see him? Does anyone see him?”

“I didn’t see a parachute,” Payback replied.

“We have to circle back.”

“Comanche. Bandits inbound. Single group, hot. Recommend dagger flow south. One minute to intercept.” There was a pause before you heard, “All daggers flow to ECP.”

“What about Maverick?” you asked, chest tightening at the thought of leaving him behind. You couldn’t. You wouldn’t.

“Dagger Spare, request permission to launch and fly air cover,” you heard Jake in your ear and you didn’t realize how badly you’d needed to hear the sound of his voice.

“Negative, spare.”

“Dagger, you are not to engage. Repeat, do not engage.” You gripped your controls as you listened to them ask you to acknowledge you heard the order but it all sounded muffled.

“Viper, those bandits are closing,” Phoenix said. “We can’t go back.”

“V, he’s gone. Maverick’s gone,” Bob added and you could hear the sadness in his voice but you weren’t accepting that. You thought of Rooster… of him telling you Maverick had pulled his papers and how despite how angry he was you could see through it to the hurt. He’d lost his father and alienated his only male role model. You thought of him listening in back at the carrier, the regret you knew he would be feeling as he realized Maverick was gone.

“I’m his wingman,” you said firmly. “Daggers flow back to carrier.” you ordered.

“Viper?” “What the fuck are you doing?” Fanboy asked.

“Dagger Two. Return to carrier.” You heard command say but you ignored it.

“Maverick is down which means I’m team leader now, I’m not leaving him behind.”

“Viper, you can’t do anything for him,” Phoenix tried.

“Only if I don’t try. Return to carrier, now.” you ordered again as you flipped around in pursuit of where his jet had fallen. You flicked off your radio and disconnected the overlapping chatter filling your ear. You whizzed back through the canyon and saw Maverick running through the snow covered clearing, trying to evade a helicopter and you used the element of surprise to your advantage… swinging around behind it.

“Dagger Two, deploying missile,” you narrated as you pressed the button but then let out a breathless laugh as you made contact. “Don’t really know who I’m saying that to.” You moved to circle back around and unknowingly triggered a SAM that quickly intercepted you and you cursed as you pulled up on your ejection loops.

You hit the ground with a thud and rolled over onto your back as you let out a groan. “Son of a bitch,” you muttered, “I am so sick of ejecting.” Your muscles ached as you worked on rolling up your parachute and you lifted your head to see Maverick running towards you.

“You alright?” he yelled and you nodded as you stood.

“Yeah, I’m good. You alright?” you asked but were caught off guard when he sent you flying backwards into the snow. “Oh, Jesus,” you muttered as you hit the ground, again. “What the fuck?” you yelled as you got up.

“What are you doing here?” he asked as you threw your helmet to the ground.

“What am I doing here?”

“You think I took that missile so you could be down here with me? You should be back on the carrier by now!”

“I saved your life!” you shouted.

“I saved your life, that’s the whole point.” he countered and you narrowed your eyes at him as you dusted the snow off your jacket. “What the hell were you even thinking?”

“I’m your wingman!” you shouted, throwing your arms out in exasperation. “That means something to me beyond the mission. I haven’t lost anyone yet and I don’t intend on losing anyone today.” He stared at you for a moment before letting out a sigh.

“Well, it’s good to see you,” he finally said and you put your hands on your hips as you tried to catch your breath.

“Yeah, good to see you too… so, what’s the plan?” you asked and he just gave you that famous Maverick look that said you probably weren’t going to like it.

“You’ve gotta be shitting me,” you said as you looked at an old plane through your binoculars. “An F-14?”

“I shot down three migs in one of those,” he pointed out and you just gave him an incredulous look.

“We don’t even know if that bag of ass can fly,” you countered.

“Let’s find out!” he said before taking off and your eyes widened.

“Mav!” you whisper-yelled after him. “Okay,” you muttered as you followed suit, stumbling into step with him as you walked out into the open, trying your best to act natural. “There’s a lot of people around.”

“Yeah.”

“There’s more over there.” you said as you looked around as subtly as you could. You knew this mission would be unlike anything you’d ever faced but you really weren’t anticipating being in enemy territory on foot.

“Okay.” he said, looking around. “Let’s start running.”

“Yeah, run.” you agreed, chasing after him into the hangar.

“Once I give you the signal for air, you’re gonna flip this switch until the needle gets to 120. When the engine starts, you gotta pull out the pins and disconnect everything. You understand?”

“Yeah,” you nodded, watching him power it on.

“Once I’m up, stow the ladder,” he yelled as he climbed up and you were quick to fold it away behind him. You gave him a thumbs up as you flipped the switch and watched the dial and when the engine fired on you ran around the jet pulling everything out.

“Ah, shit,” you huffed, struggling slightly as you jumped up onto the wing and climbed into the backseat. “Jesus, this thing is old,” you commented as you looked over everything and tried to make sense of it.

“Canopy?” he asked and you confirmed you were clear.

“Both runways are cratered,” you pointed out. “How are we gonna get this museum piece off the ground?” You looked out the window and furrowed your brows. “Hey Mav, the wings are coming out.”

“Yep.”

“Why are the wings coming out?” you asked but he didn’t answer. “Holy shit, are we really using a taxiway as a runway?” You were absolutely terrified but you’d be lying if you said there wasn’t a small part of you that was absolutely exhilarated.

“Just hang on,” he said and you flew backwards in your seat as he took off. “Come on, come on, come on.”

“Mav?” you asked, looking ahead of him at the structure you were barrelling towards. “Holy shit,” you muttered as you closed your eyes and felt the wheels lift off the ground. You looked down and switched your ESAT on, hoping they’d see you and send reinforcements.

“Alright Viper, get us in touch with the boat.”

“Working on it, everything’s out. What should I do?”

“First the radio. Throw the uh… the UHF2 circuit breaker. Try that.”

“Sure, I’m not looking at like three hundred breakers or anything… got anything more specific?”

“I don’t know, that was not my department,” he answered and you nodded.

“Where’s Bob when you need him?” you muttered as you leaned down to fiddle with what you could find and your eyes widened when you looked beneath you. “Mav, tally two, five o’clock low. What do we do?”

“Okay, listen. Just be cool. If they knew who we were, we’d be dead already.”

“That’s comforting… what’s the plan?”

“Just put your mask on. Remember, we’re on the same team.” you watched as they pulled up beside you. “Just wave and smile.” You forced a smile as you watched the other pilot gesture with his hands but it wasn’t anything you were familiar with.

“What is that, what’s he saying?”

“No idea. I have no idea what he’s saying.”

“What about that one?” you asked as they changed gestures. “Any idea?”

“Nope, never seen that one either.” Maverick played dumb as he tapped his helmet and gave a thumbs down. “Shit, his wingman is moving into weapons envelope. Alright, listen up. When I tell you, you grab those rings above your head. That’s the ejection handle.”

“Can we outrun them?” you asked, not exactly keen on the idea of punching out for a third time in as many weeks.

“Not their missiles and guns.”

“Then it’s a dogfight,” you said, and he sighed.

“An F-14 against fifth-gen fighters?”

“It’s not the plane, it’s the pilot. What would you do if I wasn’t here?”

“But you are here,” he said and you could hear the apprehension in his tone. “I don’t intend on losing anyone today,” he repeated your earlier words.

“So don’t. Come on, Mav. Don’t think, just do.” He was silent for a moment and your hands flew to brace yourself as he jolted to the side and laid into one of the other jets.

“Tell me when you see smoke in the air,” he ordered and you twisted in your seat to watch behind you.

“Smoke in the air! Smoke in the air!”

“Hang on!” He dropped a missile and led the other plane directly into it.

“Splash one! Splash one!” you cheered, still trying to find your bearings as the plane jolted around. “Here comes another one!”

“Viper, flares, now now now!” he called and you pressed the button, watching as they intercepted the missile. “Splitting the throttles, coming around,” he said as you grunted and placed a hand on the ceiling. “Give me tone, give me tone.”

“You got him, Mav!”

“Taking the shot,” he said as he deployed and you watched the other plane do an evasion maneuver you’ve seen before. “What the-”

“Holy shit,” you said, watching him practically float past your canopy. “What the fuck was that?”

“Hang on, we’ve gotta get low. The terrain will confuse his targeting system.”

“Here he comes!” you shouted as he was hot on your tail.

“Talk to me, Viper, where is he?”

“He’s still on us,” you managed to get out as you bounced from side to side of the canopy. “We took a hit, we took a hit!”

“Damn it.”

“Come on Mav, do some of that pilot shit!”

“Brace yourself.” You quickly rose in altitude and you struggled to get a breath in as you went careening back into the valley. “I’ve got tone, taking the shot.” he said and you watched the other plane take it out with countermeasures. “Out of missiles, switching to guns.”

“You got him, Mav!” you yelled as the distance lessened.

“It’s not over yet,” he replied. “One last chance.” You watched him use his last round of ammunition to rip into the top of the other jet and you let out a cheer when it crashed into the rocky hillside.

“Yes! Splash two!” you said before you went back to fiddling with the controls, trying to recall anything from initial training back in the day and you exhaled in relief when the system in front of you came to life. “Mav, I got the radio on!”

“Outstanding, get us in touch with the boat.”

“Copy that,” you said just as alarms started ringing. “What the fuck? Where even is he?”

“He’s on our nose,” Maverick said and you really wished you didn’t hear the dread in his tone. “We’re out of ammo. Smoke in the air, Viper, flares!”

“That was way too close,” you said. “We’re out of flares, Mav! Shit, he’s already on us.” you grunted as bullets began hitting your jet. “This is not good!” Maverick did his best to try and evade but it wasn’t any use. “We took another hit!”

“No, no, no. no!”

“We can’t take much more of this!”

“We can’t outrun this guy, we gotta eject.”

“What?” you yelled, panic creeping into your voice.

“We need altitude. Pull the ejection handles the second I tell you to.”

“Mav, wait-” you started but he cut you off.

“Viper, there’s no other way. Eject, eject, eject!” he ordered and you reached above you to pull on the loops but they were stuck. “Viper, pull the handle, eject!”

“It’s not working!” you yelled back, still trying. “Mav!” You were still rising in altitude and you pressed your hands against the canopy as you realized this was it. You weren’t getting out of this. You thought of Jake, how he was going to have to tell Sadie… how it was going to fall on him to tell your parents not only were you in the Navy but that you were dead. You thought about Christmas Eve’s with him in middle school, dancing with him at his senior prom because even though you were a freshman he’d much rather have danced with you, and laughing at his old school photos while he watched you walk around the museum that was his childhood bedroom with a bottle of whiskey in your hand. It’s not that he sees you as his little sister’s best friend, it’s the fact that he doesn’t.

“Oh my god,” you whispered, realization washing over you. I know Sadie’s your best friend, but just so you know… you’re mine.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” Maverick said and you flinched when you heard an explosion but exhaled in relief when you realized it wasn’t you. You turned to see what was left of the enemy jet floating down to the water as an F-18 emerged through the smoke. Your eyes were wide as you tried to process what was happening… were you actually dead? Is this what the afterlife is?

“Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, this is your savior speaking.” Jake started and you let out a breathless laugh as he pulled up beside you. “Please fasten your seatbelts, return your tray tables to their locked and upright positions, and prepare for landing.”

“Jake…” you said, looking over at him in disbelief.

“Hey sunshine,” he replied. “I’ll see you back on deck.” he said before flying ahead of you and you couldn’t help the laughter that bubbled past your lips as the adrenaline worked its way through your system.

“Maverick is downwind. No front landing gear. No tail hook. Pull the cable and raise the barricade,” Maverick communicated as you buzzed the tower and you giggled.

“Cyclone hated that,” you muttered and Maverick chuckled as you circled around and felt a jolt. “For the love of god, please don’t tell me we just lost an engine,” you sighed.

“Alright, I won’t tell you that,” he replied. You grunted as you hit the deck and flew forward in your seat at the impact before coming to a screeching halt. You were both silent for a moment, in disbelief that you actually made it back. “You good?” he finally asked and you nodded.

“Yeah, I’m good,” you answered as the canopy raised and you were met with the cheers of all of the crewmen and your teammates. As your feet hit the ground it actually crossed your mind to drop to your knees and kiss the disgusting tarmac you were so grateful for but you had someone to find. Phoenix threw her arms around you and you reciprocated the hug but you were searching the crowd over her shoulder, muttering half-hearted thanks to the people congratulating you and you pushed everyone away as you started walking.

“Sunshine!” you heard and you turned around and finally saw him. You exhaled sharply as you ran towards him but he held out a hand that stopped you in your tracks. “What the hell were you thinking? I thought you were dead,” he shouted over the commotion and you knew you probably should have been apologizing, or explaining yourself but instead you just smiled as you looked up at him. You could see about a dozen emotions on his face, but the one you were focusing on was the one that had been there all along… you’d just been too slow to realize it. “Why are you smiling? This isn’t funny, you really scared the shit out of me. That was reckless, and it- I… Fuck sunshine, I love you so much, I can’t ever go through thinking you’re dead again. Are you even- shit, are you okay? Let me look-” you knew he wasn’t going to stop on his own so you reached out and grabbed onto his flight suit with a smirk, pulling him into you and pressing your lips to his. He reciprocated immediately and you smiled into the kiss as you wrapped your arms around his shoulders. He lifted you off the ground as the cheers magnified around you.

“About damn time,” Rooster muttered from beside you but you didn’t care.

“I love you too, idiot,” you said when you pulled away and he set you back down but kept his arms firmly around your waist. “Chalked yourself another kill, looks like I’m going to have to even the score.”

“Always so competitive,” he said with a shake of his head before kissing you again and you pulled away when you felt a hand on your shoulder to see Maverick. He was looking at you with so much pride and gratitude that was only mirrored on your own face.

“Thank you for saving my life,” he said and you felt tears prick at your eyes.

“Thank you for saving mine, sir,” you replied and held out your hand for him to shake, but when he took it he only pulled you in for a hug. You watched him start to disappear into the crowd and quickly turned to grab Rooster by the collar and you gave him a look that had his eyes widening in fear. “I didn’t do that for Mav, I did that for you. Go,” you said firmly, shoving him in the direction Maverick had gone.

“You know, you could have just told me. You didn’t have to be an ass about it,” you said, looking up at Jake who rolled his eyes playfully.

“Where’s the fun in that?” he asked as you hit his arm. “I didn’t know… not until I thought it was too late,” he said, voice lowering as he stepped closer and placed a hand on your cheek, brushing his thumb against your cheekbone to wipe away a falling tear.

“I thought I’d realized too late,” you whispered as he pressed his lips to your forehead.

“Now we have all the time in the world… after we get our asses handed to us for deliberately disobeying orders,” he said, pulling away when he noticed Cyclone approaching and you chuckled as you looked over your shoulder.

“Hey, if we get dishonorably discharged at least we’re alive and have each other, right?”

“That’s all we need.”

ONE YEAR LATER

“Cheers to the one year anniversary of Dagger Squad,” Phoenix said as all of your glasses clinked together and you couldn’t wipe the smile from your face as you looked around the room at your team.

“And begrudgingly, cheers to Cyclone who, in his own words, completely disagreed with our tactics and lack of respect for authority, but couldn’t deny the overall effectiveness of our squad,” you added as everyone laughed and you leaned into Jake beside you. “Happy Dagger-versary everyone.”

“Cheers!” everyone shouted as you sank back into your previous conversations and you looked up at Jake as you took a sip of your beer.

“It’s our one year too,” you pointed out and he smirked down at you.

“Don’t you worry, sunshine, I’ve got a whole thing planned,” he said and you smiled as

you rested your head against his chest. “How lucky am I to have had you following me around for the majority of my life?”

You pulled away and playfully hit his arm, “when you say it like that it makes me sound so juvenile!” you protested and he just laughed.

“Hey, those are your words. Besides, you’re the one who followed me into the Navy…”

“And hid from you for eight years!” you said, pretending to be mad but your laughter gave you away.

“It’s okay, you just wanted to follow in the footsteps of the greatest pilot in the world. No one could ever blame you for that.” he teased.

“Are you conveniently forgetting you admitted I was the better pilot?”

“Yeah, but then I saved your life, so…” you narrowed your eyes before leaning up to peck his lips.

“Thanks for that, by the way.”

“Anytime, sunshine… anytime.”

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the-lost-boys-wife · 1 year

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THE POLY! LOST BOYS x READER INCORRECT QUOTES

(GUESS WHOS BACK YET AGAIN!? should I be doing my English work…maybe? Do I have better things to do- yes! post more about my boys obviously!? If you enjoy leave a comment if you want any other fandoms for more things like this or one shots

Love you guys lots <3)

Y/N: Dwayne , I know you snuck out to see David last night.

Dwayne : If you tell Paul or Marko, I swear I’ll murder you, and they’ll never find the body.

Y/N: Five bucks?

Dwayne : Fine.

Y/N: Uh, Dwayne ? Paul is in the pool and I don't think hes waterproof.

Dwayne : What?

David: I think they meant, Paul is drowning.

Dwayne : WHAT?!

*Meanwhile*

Paul: *is drowning*

Marko: OH MY GOD, PAUL! KEEP SWIMMING!

Paul: I can't swim, dumbass— *sinks*

Marko: PAUL!

Marko: Do you know that we are made out of atoms?

Marko: And atoms never touch each other.

Marko: So in my defense, officer. I did not punch this kid.

Marko to that one surf nazi: If karma doesn't hit you, I fucking will.

David to y/n, who’s about to get married: Today, two families are becoming one.

Marko, in an ominous voice: Two families enter, one family leaves.

Dwayne: That sounds so threatening…

Paul: The Wedding Games…

Star: May the bouquet toss be ever in your favor.

Y/N: Beautiful.

David: Fuck all of you!

David: She was poetry, but he couldn't read.

Marko : His name was Jared he's 19.

Dwayne: When his parents built a very strange machine.

Paul, singing: Watch that scene, digging the dancing queen.

Y/N, singing: Eyyyy, Macarena!

Michael: Horrible job everyone.

Dwayne: Today, Y/N took my phone, and in five minutes, they sent high resolution close-up photos of Marko to the following people: Paul, David, Michael, the neighbors, the bank, my accountant, San Diego Blood Bank, and Shake Shack's text bot.

Marko: So don't panic but one of us is possessed by an owl....

Dwayne: ....

Paul: .....

David: ......

Y/N: ...Who?

Marko: That's the thing we don't-

*Everyone stares at Y/N*

Paul: I am an expert at identifying birds.

David: Okay, what about those ones flying over there?

Paul: Yeah, they're all birds.

Y/N , looking at a selfie of Marko’s: I hate this photo.

Marko: I’m cute as fuck in that photo! I’m smiling kindly!

Y/N : You’re not smiling kindly; you look like you’re up to something.

Marko: Up to kindness.

(Ok that’s all for today! This is filled with marko just bc I love that boy! He’s full goblin and I just wanna hug him!)

#reader insert #the lost boys x you #the lost boys incorrect quotes #the lost boys 1987 #the lost boys #paul x reader #david x reader #dwayne x reader #marko x reader #michael x reader #poly!lost boys x reader #sweet boys #incorrect quotations #incorrect quotes

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midnightdevotion · 1 year

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Anyone Else

Requested: Can I get either a Bradshaw!reader or Mitchell!reader x Robert 'Bob' Floyd fic where the reader dated Jake before she ever met Bob, so when she meets the Dagger Squad as Bob's girl, it's the first time she's seen Jake since they broke up? Reader would be engaged or married to Bob and her and Jake would have ended on really bad terms. If this isn't up your alley and/or makes you uncomfortable feel free to ignore this request. Lots of love regardless! 🥰🥰🥰

Pairing: Bob x Bradshaw!Reader, Past jake Seresin x reader

When bob first got called back to top gun you panicked. Not only was your husband called back but so was your brother and the closest thing you ever had to a father. You stressed everyday, hoping they would be safe and sound.

Two and a half weeks later when the mission was successful and bob had thankfully made it home safe and sound, he called you to let you know that the dagger squad was being made permanent and he would be coming home to help you pack up your house and move you both down to San Diego. Nothing sounded better than living near everyone you considered your family. In a whirlwind you two had packed up the house, put it on the market to sell and made an offer on a new house.

It didn't take long to sell your old home thankfully, and you two found a perfect home five minutes from the beach and close to work for bob. It all seemed like everything was falling perfectly into place.

Letting out a dreamy sigh as you look around the open floor plan for the home you just got the keys too, your husband turns to look at you.

"everything okay dear?" you can't help the grin you let shine on your face when you turn to look at your husband's concern.

"Everything is perfect." He gives you a soft smile and kiss on the forehead then continues voicing his thoughts on where you should hang the tv for least amount of glare during the day.

You listen to him rant about where he wants to put the couch and how he wants to hang your wedding photos, giving an occasional hum of agreement.

"oh and also I want you to meet my squad" this causes you to raise an eyebrow. Usually over protective bob keeps you away from the dirtbags in the airforce he's typically assigned to deal with. You didn't question that too much, because you have upfront experience with how most air force men are.

"you do?"

"Yeah- these guys- they're different and I want them to meet the most important person in my life"

"awe, of course I wanna meet them honey and I'm glad you are finally part of a team that aren't just egotistical assholes- though I know how Bradley can be" He laughs at your joke, but he knows how excited you really are at being able to live near everyone. Too often the navy drags people away from the ones they love, so you are both grateful for the chance that it brought you all together.

It's about six days later- after everything is unpacked and settled that you are meeting the rest of the dagger squad. Say what you want but bob is nothing but efficient when unpacking- and bossing maverick and Bradley around for help.

When you arrive at the beach- you are delighted to see Penny and Maverick rekindling their love. However, before you make it over to them Bradley rushes over.

"I have something I need to tell you and I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier but I didn't think you would come and-"

"What is it?" you furrow your brow trying to look over your brothers shoulder. Bob looks just as confused as you do unsure as to what is making rooster so frazzled.

"Jake is here."

This confuses bob even further- because of course Jake is here?

"w-what" It feels like you take a shot of icy hot. both heat and freezing cold rushes through your veins.

"Does someone wanna clue me in?" You swallow and look up at your sweet husband- living proof that the sweet soft genuine love you always wanted does exist and you have it.

"Well- about 5 years ago, Jake and I were engaged..."

---Flashback---

It's late on a Friday night and you and your fiance Jake are laughing at an inside joke you two have. Your heart has never felt so full. You're both ignoring whatever movie you had turned on in the background- enjoying the night together instead.

In fact you remember spending the whole weekend like this- so wrapped up in each other- so in love that nothing else mattered. Laughter echo's the walls in your shared apartment.

That Sunday night- you giggled as he traced each of your features. Adamant that he would be able to memorize every piece of you, mind body and soul.

You just laughed at him and told him you'd be there for him to study every night. You didn't focus on his smile not reaching his eyes, nor the shaky breathe he let out.

You went to bed after a weekend that felt like a dream- a montage in a movie really.

And you woke up to a note on his empty bedside table saying I'm sorry- with his silver ring sitting on top.

-----

Bob knew the story- he knew everything about you and your past. Losing your father, losing your fiance and every other thing your brain would ever think of telling him.

He just didn't know that Jake was the ex fiance.

"I think I need a minute" Is all bob said- rubbing his hands down his face as he turns in the opposite direction for a walk.

"bob wait-" he turns and you can see the worry on his face- all his anxieties displayed right there.

"Honey- It'll be okay I just need a minute to process I promise"

and you understood- of course you did. If roles were reversed you don't know how okay you would be coming face to face with bob having an ex fiance and then it turning out to be someone that you would see everyday.

So you heave a sign and turn back to face rooster. Only he's twenty feet further away then you expected and he's blocking one very frantic Jake Seresin.

"Bradshaw just let me talk to her" You could see Bradley shake his head, but honestly you needed to clear the air. Hell you were married and happy- you've moved on.

"Bradley it's okay" your brother tenses his shoulders. You watch him tell Jake to stay put for one minute and he comes over to you.

"Are you sure? because if you're not sure or not ready to deal with all of this then say the word and we will go home and you can meet everyone another night" You laugh at his over protective big brother tone and shake your head.

"Bradley it was five years ago- I'm happily married I don't need to eat ice cream and cry about the past." you watch his serious face and he nods more than necessary

"Okay okay, but I will be right there and you just holler if you want me to kick his ass, I never got to the first time so" You just shove him away and watch as he does the I'm watching you signal to Jake.

You watch as Jake makes his way over to you, stopping with about three feet between you. The silence stretches for a minute, and he clears his throat.

"I- um Hi"

"hello" and you don't give anything more than that- the way you see it, you were ready to share every part of you for life with him and he threw it away. You don't owe him any more of you. You watch him- seeing the struggle in his green eyes you once knew so well. The ones you had nightmares about after he left. You watch as he heaves a sigh and tugs on his blond strands.

"I- I know words will never explain or show how truly sorry I am for how I treated you back then- for how I.... For how I ended things between us, I just want to say I'm so sorry. Genuinely I am so sorry and everyday I wake up and for a blissful three seconds I forget every stupid mistake I ever made and think I get to roll over and see your face but I never do..." His words shock you a little more than you thought they would. You never expected him to regret when he walked out that night. You figured he was a navy man through and through and navy men alway choose their jets over everything else.

You know that's not fair- that bob would choose you everyday of the week, but you watched it all your life. Jake knew that you watched Maverick choose his jet over ever settling down, you watched Bradley do the same, and then when Jake of all people did it to you- you never thought you would be able to mend that heartbreak.

The Irony of it was not only did you heal, you still chose a navy man who was in jets everyday.

When you first met bob you were smitten- so was he. However when you found out what he did and he watched your face turn sour- he thought he would never have a chance with you. He watched you distance yourself from him and bob was never good with confrontation so when he showed up drunk at your door asking why you suddenly didn't want him after you made him fall in love with you- you spilled everything.

Here the very reason that bob drunkely confessed to being in love with you stands before you and you can't help the heartache that surges through you. Not because your unhappy now- or that you would even change anything.

No the heartache surges through you because Jake looks lost. Like he left himself in your apartment that night and you left him there too when you moved places and moved on.

"Look Jake, did I hate you for a long time for what you did? Yes, but I've moved on, for so long I wanted this day to come- this apology to spill out of your mouth. Thinking someway the words would heal all the hurt you caused, and it doesn't. The hurt still happened, the pain is still a memory for me, but it grows more distant everyday and I'm really grateful. Jake as much as I loved you- I deserve someone that would choose me even when it's hard."

you watch as he swallows hard, nodding his head. You see the exact moment his eyes land on your left hand, the furrow in his brow and he takes in the shining diamond sitting delicately on your left hand. You see the shaky exhale he lets out.

"you found that then?" it's phrased as a question but you know it's more of a statement.

"yes, I found that" he nods and he looks everywhere but you.

"In another life... I would do things differently"

"I know" and you do, you can see his regret all over his face, you can see the heartache in his eyes- the same heartache that stared back at you in the mirror for months on end. You also know he will be okay, that he will heal and move on just like you did. You step closer, and rest your hand on his shoulder.

"things work out Jake, you'll be okay" and with that you step away, and make your way towards the rest of the group.

----

It takes bob a while to join the group again, and it has you worried. You never would've thought bob would be so hurt by this when he knew the story.

So when he joins the group in dog fight football but doesn't greet you know something isn't right. You try and let it going knowing when he is ready you two will talk but as the night progresses and he continues to ignore you, you start to get frustrated.

It's nearing the end of the day- bob just help score the last goal and his team won, the boys lift him up and start chanting his name which makes you grin.

They finally all make their way back over to you and Penny- who has been a great soundboard for how stressful today has been for you.

"That was great honey" you send bob a sweet smile- hoping that playing whatever insane version of football that was helped get his frustrations out.

"thanks." and he turns to talk to Phoenix. Penny shoots you a glance and you just sigh.

When everyone moves inside the bar to keep the party going, you make your rounds in getting to know everyone now that they aren't running around like maniacs.

However, during this bob strategically always seems to be on the opposite end of the bar from you. When it reaches a point that you are socially drained and talked to everyone you move to the bar, and sit by yourself nursing whatever drink penny concocted for you.

You're starting to get tired but whenever you try to get bobs attention he turns his body another direction. It reached a point where you are so frustrated that you call an uber.

"penny I'm gonna head- If bob asks I got an uber home" her eyebrows shoot up in surprise but she agrees to pass on the information, and watches you leave.

---

Now bob might've been mad- not really at you and he knows that. God he knows that, but he's so mad because he didn't realize jake was the Jake and he's mad at himself because he feels so insecure. How could you want someone like bob over someone like Jake.

He's really mad because he's scared. He is so in love with you, but what if you want jake back? What if you want to leave him now because your real love, your first love was never really bob?

What does he do when every time he looks at you, he sees you saying your leaving him, that you're sorry but it was never him and it never will be?

So when he turns around because he has been checking on you every five minutes- he has a timer on his watch so he doesn't do it too often and your gone he panics.

His eyes frantically search the bar- and he hates that when his eyes land on jake standing with coyote he's relieved that you aren't right there.

He searches the bar high and low, and still nothing. He waits, because maybe you just went to the bathroom but when ten minutes have passed and he realizes that is unlikely he anxiously makes his way to penny.

"penny where is she" and penny doesn't even have to look up to know it's bob asking about you.

"she went home"

"home- but- I drove"

"she took and uber" he swallows hard at that. Thinking of every time he saw an article about a woman getting attacked in an uber- You were alone out there with some stranger all because bob couldn't get his shit together.

So he hightails it out of there, and he drives home maybe a little quicker than he should. He gets home and all he sees is the light you left on in the entry way when you left, and he panics even more- where are you?

He rushes to your room, feeling like he is going to vomit up his own heart any second now. He sees the bathroom light on to your shared bathroom and the rush of relief cools his veins like he just got a cold glass of water in the Sahara.

He flings the bathroom door open and sees you jump as you wash your face.

"god bob you scared me" you mutter, trying to rid the soapy bubbles from your face.

"I am so so sorry honey" this causes you to look at him through the mirror.

"for scaring me or ignoring me today." your statement isn't angry, just blunt.

"both... god I'm sorry I was an ass today"

"yeah you were, care to explain?" you watch and he swallows.

"I'm so sorry darling, I was just so gutted with fear when I realized that Jake was your Jake and I realized maybe--- maybe you would want to leave me and take him back and god why wouldn't you he looks way better than me and then i go and treat you like shit on top of it, makes it an easy choice doesn't it and-"

"bob" you cut him off from his rant.

"I do not want to get back with Jake. I married you because I love you, with my whole soul, you make me laugh and you make so so very happy, even my best days with Jake don't compare to how happy I am with you every day." you watch his shoulder sag in relief. You make your way towards him, and pull him in close for a hug.

"I never want to hear you say that you aren't attractive, honey you are the most attractive man I have ever met, physically, emotionally, and in every other way imaginable." you hope he can see all the love you have for him shining in your eyes.

He hugs you back and squeezes like he really thought you might disappear on him and that breaks your heart more than anything else ever could.

"when I said I do honey, it's because I wanted to be with you for the rest of my life, nobody else. I love you more than anything or anyone else in the world and that will never change."

"I love you so much darling, I am so sorry I was stupid.... Please never uber anywhere again though they are so dangerous and I would've given you a ride" and you laugh at his antics because even clouded in his own insecurity and heartache he was worried about your safety.

Maybe that's why it was always meant to be bob, not anyone else. Bob may have bad days just like everyone else but above all else he cares so much it just scares him. You needed someone like bob to care for you after losing so much and he needed someone like you to choose him and soothe his worries away when they get to be too loud.

"it could never be anyone else"

you repeat the words a million times that night, and when you think about it, even the best weekend you ever had with Jake doesn't compare to everyday you have with Bob. It really could never have been anyone else.

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