#SUDDENLY INCREDIBLY HAPPY TO COME FROM ITALY
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stormyoceans · 1 year ago
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the way i saw this and thought about you 🤭
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LISA PLEASE THIS IS SO SFJKSHFJKSGDF 😭😭😭 I KEEP SMILING GIGGLING KICKING MY FEET HIDING MY FACE INTO A PILLOW BECAUSE THIS IS SO LOVELY AND SWEET!!!!!!! I HAVE NO WORDS TO DESCRIBE HOW HAPPY IT MAKES ME THAT YOU ACTUALLY THOUGHT ABOUT ME AND THAT YOU TOOK THE TIME TO SEND IT TO ME!!!!!!! 🥺🥺🥺 THIS REALLY MADE MY DAY THANK YOU I LOVE YOU SO SO MUCH TOO!!!!!!! SENDING YOU ALL THE HUGS AND KISSES AND CUDDLES 💜
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yourstrqly · 1 year ago
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the prettiest; robertson
pairing: andy robertson x fem!reader
warnings: pregnant reader
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rina's masterlist
Walking through the house in search of you after being out and about with the boys, Andy had grabbed a tube of your favourite ice cream from the freezer and two spoons. Your kids were at his parents home for the next few days as you decided to enjoy a bit of alone time; two daughters were everything he could've wished for, they were smart and shared your best facial features, but also loved playing football with him — which always melted your heart whenever you saw the three of them play together.
Andrew didn't expect you to be outside; you had texted him earlier, claiming that you had just gotten off work and your shared home was dirty, but nonetheless he liked seeing you laying on a lounger under the warmth of mai. Coming closer the man smiled softly — there you relaxed, no worry clung on you body, hands protectively holding your stomach beneath the t-shirt, you had definitely stolen from him.
For the third time you'd give him the best gift mankind could wish for — a baby.
You only had found out a month ago while vacationing in Italy. The four of you had been on a beach, eating one too many gelato when suddenly you looked him in the eyes, asking him to buy a pregnancy test to check if your suspicion was correct. And it had been. Missing your period was the death giveaway as you always had it regularly and to be quite frank, Andy had been over the moon. It wasn't planned but honestly it made both of you incredibly exited.
He gently strock a stray strand of your hair behind your ear, letting his hand rest against your cheek, kissing you lips slowly. You immediately reply by kissing back and laying your much smaller hand in his.
"Hi darling", the footballer greeted you after ending the kiss.
You flutter your eyelashes at him, happy to having him home. "Hello Bear, had fun?"
"It was alright. Virg was in a mood today and talked lots of bullshit but that's nothing new", he replied dryly, making you laugh. The Dutch often trashtalked, bringing the people around him to grin brightly (though he wasn't on the Scotts).
Looking in each others eyes, you relished the peace and after a while you had rested your head against his chest, drawing circles. Then you spied the ice cream and as much as loved being hold, you broke free and snatched the tube of the table besides the lounger. Happily you took a spoonful of the icy food, groaning at the delicious flavour. Andy hadn't made a move, keeping his hands on your hips as you sat eating in-between his legs.
"You're pretty", he whispered, eyes roaming along your body and stopping at your stomach. Blinking a few moments, you weren't sure if you heard him correctly, too invested in the ice cream beforehand.
"What am I?", you questioned.
Your partner gently grasped your chin to turn you around, watching your slightly confused face. His thumb swiped a drop of the melted good from the coronor of your mouth away, to suck it into his mouth.
"I said you're pretty."
"Just pretty, Bear?", you exclaimed, playfully hitting his shoulder. The action made the both of you grin widely, however he then turned serious.
"You're the prettiest."
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startanewdream · 1 year ago
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(found this lying on my tumblr drafts; have no idea what month those prompts for Jily Microfics were — and frankly I'm embarrassed to even tag them, at this point)
#22 - Album and #25 - Photograph (I'm cheating, I know)
It was the first morning back; over the sound of people chatting in the Great Hall and Sirius’ barking laugh as he commented on some dirty joke with Peter, James heard Evans’ happy voice.
“That’s Firenze,” she was telling Mary. The foreign word sounded exquisite in her voice; it made wings flutter inside him, even though James had promised himself he would get over Lily Evans. “And this was in Pisa. The Leaning Tower was incredible, I cannot believe there is no magic sustaining it still.”
“Pisa?” In front of James, Remus turned to the girls. “Have you been to Italy this summer?”
Evans nodded, excited. It did seem as if she had enjoyed the summer, James thought; her skin was shining, not tanned but with freckles, and her hair had some faded strands, almost blond. If he was not over his feelings for Evans, James would say she had come back from summer vacation more gorgeous than ever; due to his new life philosophies, he thought the summer had done her good in a healthy way.
“I’ve always wanted to go to Italy,” Remus said.
Evans giggled. “To Rome, I guess. Here,” and she handed Remus the mini-album she had been showing to Mary. “Don’t mind me, but I took some nice pictures.”
James glanced at her. “Can I see it too?” He asked before he could control himself.
Remus had the album opened in front of him, so James could look at it anyway; Evans seemed to be realising the same thing — she threw him a funny look — but all she said was, “The photos don’t move.”
“And?”
Evans looked as if she wanted to say something, but she shrugged and nodded towards the album, then turned to Mary.
James leaned on the table to watch as Remus turned the pages. The photographs were nice indeed, showing old Renaissance cities, Classic buildings he had only heard of, and paintings and sculptures that did not move, but captivated his gaze all the same, entranced by the way the artist had made his art look so alive.
"These are amazing," he breathed, and he didn't think anyone had heard, until Evans sighed, approvingly. James fought back a blush, leaning down, and it didn't help that Remus had paused at a page that showed Evans in front of a large painting with a naked woman.
A red-haired naked woman.
"That's The Birth of Venus, by Botticelli," Evans explained helpfully. "Venus was—"
"The Goddess of Love," completed James, raising his eyes to meet Evans' green ones. His heart skipped a beat that had nothing to do with any foreign goddess. "Love and beauty."
"Yes." She placed a strand of her hair behind her ear; her cheeks were pink. "It was a marvelous painting."
He was about to ask her, rather abruptly, if she couldn't show more about Muggle's paintings, when Remus turned to the next page; and then Evans' face was positively red as she grabbed her album suddenly—but not before James glanced at the last photo. There was a guy sharing ice cream with Evans.
"That's all," she said, fidgeting with her hands, and ignoring how her friend Mary was giggling now. "Nice trip. You should go some time."
James forced himself to smile. "Sure."
"Should we get ice cream too?" Mary asked, not hiding her mirth.
Evans rolled her eyes. "It's called gelato." She stood up. "Let's go, we will be late for class."
They departed; Remus watched them go for a moment before turning to James.
"Are you ok?"
James blinked away the images that had formed in his mind, where, instead of that Italian guy who he had barely glanced at—but now assumed the shape and face of an unpleasant handsome guy with an annoying nice accent—he was sharing gelato with Evans in front of The Birth of Venus.
"Yes," he lied.
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lesbianandstressing · 1 year ago
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Stand up | A station 19 fanfiction
Summary: For a few weeks now, Carina has been upset about something, but won’t talk about it with Maya. The brunette has reassured Maya that it has nothing to do with her, and that she is incredibly happy. When Maya finally finds out the reason, it breaks her heart.
A/N: As most of you know, there are some very pro-life, and anti-lgbtq+ laws being passed in Italy right now. This is a fic that explores Carina’s feelings regarding that, taking place about 3 months after the firefighters ball.
Warnings: Talk of homophobia, transphobia, and pro-life people, along with abortion and a person’s right to chose. Please don’t read if not comfortable. Otherwise, happy reading :)
-
Carina has been upset for weeks.
Maya was immediately worried that she did something, but Carina assured her that it is nothing to do with Maya or their relationship. But still refused to talk to Maya about it.
So, Maya merely tried to her best to comfort her wife, despite having no clue why Carina is so upset in the first place.
Maya gently knocks on the door to Andy’s office, and the captain tells her to come in.
“Hey cap. We’re about to have lunch to celebrate Jack officially being back. Want to join?” Maya offers.
Jack has officially come back to work on desk duty, after taking five weeks off to recover from his injury at the ball. Needless to say, everyone is thrilled to have him back.
“Yeah, I’ll be down in a few.” Andy replies. Maya goes to leave, but is stopped. “Bishop? What’s going on with you?” Andy questions.
Maya sighs, before shutting the door to the office. “Can I talk to you? As your friend, and not as your lieutenant?”
Andy nods without hesitation. “Of course, we talked about this. Just because I’m captain now doesn’t mean I’m no longer your friend. Come sit.”
Maya sits down, sighing heavily. “Carina has been upset for weeks now, but won’t tell me why, just that it has nothing to do with our relationship or me. But she still refuses to say anything other than that, and I feel helpless because I don’t know how to comfort her if I don’t know what’s wrong.” She explains.
Andy nods sympathetically. “I get it. But hey, just be there for her in every way you can. You know her, you know what she will need. No matter the circumstance. Just be her loving, and caring wife.”
Maya smiles. “Thanks, Andy. You always know what to say.” Andy grins. “It’s part of my charm, Bishop. Let’s go eat.”
Maya laughs as they exit the office.
-
Maya returns home later on, finding Carina on the couch, intently reading her phone. She barely even looks up when Maya opens the door.
“Hey baby. How was work?”
Silence.
“Babe?”
Again, no answer.
“Carina?”
The brunette suddenly snaps out of her daze. “Oh, hi bambina. I didn’t hear you come in.”
Maya chuckles. “I noticed. What are you so engrossed in?”
Carina’s eyes gloss over. Maya immediately comes over to her. “Hey, talk to me. What’s going on, my love?”
Carina merely shows Maya her phone.
Maya sees an article.
Abortion bans.
Same sex marriage will become illegal.
LGBTQ+ parents will have their parental rights taken away.
LGBTQ+ people will no longer have any rights.
64.6 percent of gynecologists refusing to perform abortions.
Refusal to let LGBTQ+ parents be on their child’s birth certificates, no longer recognizing them as their real parents.
Potential banning of the english language.
All happening in Italy.
Carina’s home country. Where she was born, where she grew up, where her brother was born, where her dad and best friend Gabriella currently live.
“Oh baby.” Maya coos. “Is this why you’ve been so upset?” She asks. Carina nods in confirmation.
“When I worked in Italia, I was the only doctor within miles that would perform abortions. So many people would drive and fly miles just to see me in Sicily. There was one other doctor, but she refused to perform abortions on non-binary people and transgender men who still had biological female organs. So many transgender people came to me, begging me to give them an abortion.” Carina explains.
“Maya, we wouldn’t even be recognized as our future babies’ parents. Our marriage would no longer be legal. Our love, our devotion, and our commitment to each other wouldn’t even be recognized!” She continues, her voice becoming louder and more distressed.
“Hey, hey, hey. Take a deep breathe, baby. You’re ok, you’re safe.” Maya murmurs, bringing Carina into her arms as the older women sobs.
“Shh, my love. It’s alright, you’re with me and you’re safe. Let it out.” Maya whispers soothingly, rubbing Carina’s back and occasionally kissing her head gently.
After a few minutes, Carina’s cries dissipate into occasional whimpering. Maya continues her ministrations, combing Carina’s hair with her fingers and tickling her back to calm her down.
“I’m so sorry this is happening, my love.” Maya murmurs. Carina sits up, but still leans on Maya, wiping her tears. “Is there anything we can do, baby? Because as long as it isn’t violent, I’ll be there with you, sweetheart.” Maya promises.
“I’ll have to look into it, bambina. But for now, hold me?” Carina requests, her voice cracking and accent heavy.
Maya smiles sadly. “Always, my love. Always.”
-
“Alright. Now that I’ve said everything I needed to say, Lieutenant Bishop has requested the floor. Bishop?” Andy requests. Maya nods.
“Thank you, Cap. I appreciate you letting me speak to the team today.” Maya begins.
“As we all know, there have been many harmful laws passed regarding what people are allowed to do with their bodies. I say people because although these laws majorly affect women, we can not forget the transgender men and non-binary people who still have biologically female body parts. They are at risk too.” She explains.
“My wife is an OB, and a bringer of life. In turn, because she performs abortions, her life is always at risk. But, things are happening outside of our country that make her feel angry and heartbroken. In Italy, her home country, where she grew up, where her brother was born, and where her best friend and father currently live. Laws that will ban abortions and the necessary reproductive healthcare. 64.6 percent of gynecologists in Italy refuse to perform abortions.” She continues.
“Not only that, but LGBTQ+ Italian citizens are at a great risk. In Italy, Carina and I’s marriage would not be recognized or legal. If Montgomery became a father, as a gay man, he would not be recognized as his child’s father. Same with myself and Carina. Our rights would be taken away, and we would not be on our child’s birth certificate. Now, with that said, Carina did some research and found some Italian born Seattle citizens planning to march in protest of what is going on in their home country, along with the disgusting and dehumanizing pro-life laws going on in our country right now. It is happening tomorrow when we are all off shift. Carina and I would be incredibly honored if you all joined.” Maya finishes.
“I’ll be there, 100 percent. I know Miranda will too.” Ben replies, smiling supportively.
“Same. You and Carina are our family, I’d be honored to support.” Vic says.
“I second that.” Travis grins.
The rest of the team reply with other forms of agreement, all of them agreeing to be there.
“Thank you guys. As your former captain, I’m incredibly proud. As your friend, I am incredibly honored.” Maya grins, unshed tears in her eyes. “Cap?”
Andy squeezes Maya’s shoulder, silently supporting her friend.
“Of course, I expect that you will all be peaceful, and do no harm to yourselves, others, station 19, or SFD.” Andy says firmly.
“Yes, captain.” The team replies.
Andy nods. “19!”
“19!”
-
Maya holds her wife’s hand tightly, holding up her sign.
Her team, her family, surrounds her, along with many people, a lot of whom are of Italian descent.
She feels an arm go around her shoulders, and looks to see Vic. Holding a sign with one arm, her other around Maya.
Carina looks at her lovingly. “I love you, bambina.”
“I love you too, baby.”
-
A/N: Thank you so much for reading. And remember, you are loved, no matter what.
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the-rewatch-rewind · 1 year ago
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An old movie with a very relevant name.
Script below the break.
Hello and welcome back to The Rewatch Rewind! My name is Jane, and this is the podcast where I count down my top 40 most frequently rewatched movies over the last 20 years. Today I will be discussing number 14 on my list: MGM’s 1944 psychological thriller Gaslight, directed by George Cukor, written by John Van Druten, Walter Reisch, and John L Balderston, based on the play by Patrick Hamilton, and starring Ingrid Bergman, Charles Boyer, and Joseph Cotten.
So first of all, if you’re thinking, “Gaslight? As in, to deny someone’s reality to the point that they can no longer trust their own perceptions?” then, yes, you’re absolutely correct: this movie (and the play it’s based on and the 1940 British film it’s a remake of) is where that term comes from. So I’m just going to give a blanket content warning for this whole episode: I will be talking a lot about psychological and emotional abuse. This is an incredibly well-made movie, which is why I keep revisiting it, but I recognize that not everybody is in the right place to hear stories about gaslighting, so please, take care of yourself, and skip this episode if you think it’s going to cause you distress.
That being said, I truly have no idea why “gaslighting” suddenly became a popular buzzword in the last 10 years or so, or how it has evolved to be misapplied to any form of lying. I’ve even heard people talk about how someone is “gaslighting” them when they merely disagree about something. So despite how incredibly dark and disturbing this movie is, I really think everyone should watch it, if for no other reason than to learn how to use the term correctly. But there’s obviously a lot more to it than that, which I will get into. But first, my traditional plot summary:
When her aunt and guardian, a famous opera star, is murdered in their London home, young Paula Alquist (Ingrid Bergman) is sent to Italy to train as a singer. Ten years later, she is swept off her feet by her new accompanist, Gregory Anton (Charles Boyer), and after knowing each other only two weeks, they get married. Though she is still haunted by her aunt’s unsolved murder, upon hearing that Gregory has always wanted to live in London, Paula suggests that they move into her old house. As they settle in, Gregory’s behavior gradually changes, and Paula begins to feel like she is losing her mind.
The main thing I remember about the first time I watched this movie was thinking it wasn’t a very good mystery, since it’s pretty obvious fairly early on who the bad guy is. But by the end it became clear that it was never meant to be a mystery, but rather a map of red flags to watch out for, as well as a surprisingly sympathetic portrayal of how easy it can be to ignore them until it’s too late. Or, I guess I should say, almost too late, since, spoiler alert: the movie does have a mostly happy ending. Anyway, I had never seen a movie like this before and it fascinated me. I watched it twice in 2003, once in 2004, once in 2006, once in 2007, twice in 2008, three times in 2012, once in 2013, once in 2014, twice in 2015, twice in 2016, once in 2017, once in 2018, once in 2020, twice in 2021, and once in 2022. I also saw the 1940 version once in 2006. I don’t remember much about it other than I thought it was pretty good, but the remake was better. And a big part of that is because of the cast of the remake. One of my 2015 views of the remake was part of my watching through Best Actress winners project because Ingrid Bergman won the first of her three Oscars for this film. Apparently at the time I ranked this performance as the 7th best to win that award, and now if anything I feel like that was too low. The more I rewatch this movie, the more impressed I am by what a difficult job she had and how thoroughly she crushed it.
Paula is an incredibly complex character who undergoes a significant emotional journey. At the beginning, though she’s definitely still haunted by the trauma of her youth, she’s mostly happy and hopeful and vivacious. And then all of that slowly dims as Gregory’s manipulations escalate, almost as if she is a gas light that he’s turning down. That’s not why the movie is called Gaslight, though; it’s called that because one of the early signs that something sketchy is going on is when Paula starts to notice lights dimming as if someone turned a new light on somewhere else in the house, but nobody else seems to notice this and she can’t find a good explanation for it. But watching Paula go from a lively, lovestruck newlywed to basically a zombie struggling to find a shred of reality she can trust also feels like watching a gas light flame go down. And it would have been so easy to either overdo or undersell this descent into confusion, but Ingrid Bergman perfectly balances every moment. You can see Paula starting to doubt herself more and more as her actions and words become more hesitant and her looks become more vague, until she begins to resign herself to the fact that Gregory must be right, she must be insane, there’s nothing more she can do. It’s so painful and heartbreaking that I desperately want to reach through the screen and comfort her and tell her what’s really going on. And then, just when I almost can’t stand it anymore, Joseph Cotten shows up to do that for me. He plays Inspector Brian Cameron of Scotland Yard, a childhood fan of Paula’s aunt who happens to see Paula one of the few times she’s out with Gregory in London, which leads him to reopen the cold case of her aunt’s murder and figure out what’s going on just in time to help Paula. The implication that Paula needs a man to rescue her is one thing I don’t love about this movie, but at the same time I think it’s important to acknowledge that Gregory was so effective at – for lack of a better term – gaslighting her that she could not have escaped that situation without help.
Not to take any of the credit away from Bergman for her stellar performance, but I do think it helped that George Cukor was the director. Longtime listeners may recognize his name from Holiday, which was number 33 on this list, and Adam’s Rib, which was number 27, both of which have significantly lighter tones. Gaslight feels much more like an Alfred Hitchcock picture than a George Cukor one. Cukor apparently didn’t like being referred to as a “woman’s director,” but he had a reputation for his ability to coax great performances out of actresses, and this is certainly no exception. In order to help Bergman keep track of Paula’s gradual descent toward madness while shooting out of order, Cukor would tell her the whole plot up to the scenes they were filming each day, which Bergman initially resented, but then he stopped doing it for a few days and she realized how helpful it had been, and they went back to doing it that way. I do think Ingrid Bergman would have been great in this role regardless of who the director was, but George Cukor helped elevate her to the best she could possibly be.
While Bergman’s performance is far and away my favorite aspect of this movie, the rest of the cast is also phenomenal, albeit rather small. It definitely has that based-on-a-play feel of limited locations and few characters, although that also works very well with the story. Part of Gregory’s strategy is to cut Paula off from the rest of the world so she won’t have a safety net. Consequently, for most of the film she only interacts with him and their two servants: the kind but mostly-deaf cook, Elizabeth, played by Barbara Everest, and the saucy, flirtatious maid, Nancy, played by none other than 18-year-old Angela Lansbury in her film debut, both of whom are absolutely perfect in their roles. I love Everest’s delivery of “I see just how it is” when Gregory is trying to keep Elizabeth on his side without realizing that she’s always been firmly on Paula’s. And Lansbury embodies the exact attitude required for Nancy: flirtatious toward Gregory, disdainful toward Paula, totally oblivious to how she’s being manipulated until the end – all conveyed with every look she gives and line she speaks as if she’s a veteran actor. It comes as absolutely no surprise that she went on to have such a long and successful career, with this as her first screen performance. She was even nominated for an Oscar! And then there’s the neighbor Miss Thwaites, played by Dame May Whitty, who adds some much-needed levity with her “diggy biscuits” and morbid curiosity about the house in her square where there was a “real murder!” Joseph Cotten’s role is honestly pretty bland – kind of the film noir version of a classic Disney prince, in a way – but he makes the most of it. And then there’s Charles Boyer, giving one of the best creepy villain performances I’ve ever seen, which was also Oscar-nominated. He starts out just sort of vaguely unsettling, raising one or two red flags right off the bat, but like, he could still be okay, and then by the end he is full-on terrifying. He has this amazing stone-faced look that makes your blood run cold. There’s this one moment in particular, kind of toward the middle, when Miss Thwaites and Inspector Cameron (posing as her nephew) have tried to visit them, and Gregory tells Nancy to send them away. Paula wanted to let them in but he freaked out so she backed down, and then after Nancy leaves she again says she wanted to see them, and he’s like, “Oh, why didn’t you say so?” and it makes me want to scream. Then he tells her she didn’t have time to see them because they’re going out to the theater, and Paula’s like, “I didn’t know that…or did I forget?” and Gregory, facing the camera with his back to her, opens his mouth to respond, and then stops and waits for her to dwell on that for a few more seconds before he tells her that no, this is a surprise, and both his face and her face are so perfect there, I love it and hate it so much. Like, I love it from a “this movie is so well acted” perspective, and I hate it from a “this character is a horrible human being” perspective. And then Paula gets overly happy, since she’s been trapped in the house for so long that him letting her go out seems like a wonderful gift. But then he “notices” that a picture is missing from the wall, and makes her think she hid it, and they end up not going out because she’s “too unwell.”
That’s the main way he manipulates her: by moving things and making it look like she took them. What’s particularly interesting about the way the movie shows this is we never actually see Gregory taking any of the things, but it is nevertheless clear that he has been. But he is so insistent that she’s doing it that we can easily believe that Paula wouldn’t suspect him, or that if she did, she would have significant doubts. And even if she did figure it out, it’s not like there’s anything she can do about it. She’s in London for the first time in a decade, she doesn’t know anyone, she doesn’t have anywhere to go, and she’s not sure she can trust her own mind. And I think it’s so important that the movie at no point faults her for ending up in that situation or for not being able to leave. The movie also gives no indication that Gregory is physically harming Paula, but leaves the audience in no doubt that he is an abusive husband. And I feel like the messages that abuse doesn’t have to be physical and that it’s never the victim’s fault are still too rare in media today, let alone nearly 80 years ago. I feel like back then most unhealthy relationships in movies were in the His Girl Friday vein of “they’re kind of both abusing each other so it’s fine” or would find other ways for excusing or explaining the abusive behavior, like “the abuser was drunk” or “the victim was asking for it” or what have you. And if they weren’t like that, the victim usually ended up dead. In Gaslight, Gregory has no excuse. I mean, he does have a reason, but it’s a terrible reason that in no way justifies his actions. And Paula not only survives, but also gets an incredibly satisfying confrontation with Gregory after Brian and another policeman have tied him up. When the police leave them alone together, Gregory pleads with her to get a knife and cut him free, and for a moment you think she’s actually going to help him, but she gets her revenge by pretending she can’t find the knife and saying she’s too insane to help him, forcing him to admit that he has lied to her and she isn’t actually mad. And she wraps up her great payback with: “If I were not mad, I could have helped you. Whatever you had done, I could have pitied and protected you. But because I am mad, I hate you. Because I am mad, I have betrayed you. And because I'm mad, I'm rejoicing in my heart, without a shred of pity, without a shred of regret, watching you go with glory in my heart!” So she turns his gaslighting around on him, and it’s amazing. Although I must admit that right after that when she cries, “Mr. Cameron! Take this man away!” is the one part when I feel like Ingrid Bergman overdoes it just a little bit and gets too melodramatic, but after everything Paula has been through, she deserves as many melodramatic moments as she wants.
I would prefer it if the movie didn’t conclude with the implication that Paula is going to end up romantically involved with Brian, but again, she deserves all the happiness she can get, and if that’s what’s going to make her happy, I’m all for it. And I guess we can claim Miss Thwaites as aroace representation, since she seems to be an old maid with no interest in romance. This movie also speaks to my aromanticism and asexuality in a different, unique way. Because to a certain extent, being aroace in an allonormative, amatonormative society kind of feels like the entire world is gaslighting you. Of course, I don’t mean to imply that my experiences have been anywhere near as horrendous as someone like Paula’s – having your reality cruelly and intentionally twisted by a partner is on an entirely different level from not quite fitting in with the dominant culture’s concept of reality. Still, being constantly bombarded with the message that all mature humans frequently experience sexual and romantic attraction, and that a universal top life goal is to find a partner you’re attracted to that way, when you don’t feel those attractions and don’t desire that kind of partner, is incredibly confusing and disorienting. Once you become an adult, or even a teenager, people start giving you knowing looks when they hear you’ve been hanging out with a friend one-on-one, especially if that friend happens to be of the opposite sex. And you don’t think you like any of your friends “that way” but you also don’t really know what liking someone “that way” feels like so you start to think maybe you don’t know your own feelings. And if you’re lucky, your brain subconsciously decides that you do have crushes like a normal person, they’re just always on movie stars, most of whom are dead, which you realize is weird, but it’s an understandable kind of weird. Nobody believes you when you say you don’t have a crush on anybody, but if you show them a picture of Cary Grant and say, “I have a crush on him,” that makes sense to them. And so you end up becoming convinced that you’re experiencing types of attraction that you’re not, to the point that when you first hear about asexuality you don’t even consider the possibility that it could describe you. And of course, when I say “you” I mean “me”; I can’t speak for all aroaces, although I do think most of us experience some form of that confusion before we figure out that our identity exists. I feel like there’s a relatively widespread perception that aromantic and/or asexual people are just single allos who want to feel special by giving themselves a label, but for me, the opposite is true. Using the aroace label makes me feel less special, because now I know there are other people out there like me, after spending so much time trying to play along with the attraction I thought I was supposed to be feeling. It’s honestly been kind of difficult to unlearn this, to teach myself how to even recognize, let alone trust, what I’m actually feeling versus the socially acceptable way to be feeling about other people.
It’s weird because, looking back, it’s so obvious to me that I was faking crushes, that I was just parroting things I’d heard when I talked about them, that I was just smiling and nodding when people would say things like, “Isn’t that person hot?” But at the time, I absolutely could not admit that, even to myself, because I felt like, in order to be human, I must be experiencing what I’d been led to believe were universal human emotions that went along with sexual and romantic attraction. Back in 2013 I blogged about all the movies I’d seen at least 10 times in 10 years, and I just re-read my post about Gaslight, in which I apparently wrote that I found Joseph Cotten attractive in this movie. I don’t remember thinking or writing that, but I’m sure if I’d been asked to elaborate, I would have said I thought he was hot or whatever, even though I absolutely did not, I just thought I was supposed to. I wasn’t consciously lying; I had become convinced that I felt things I didn’t. Although, now that I think about it, maybe I really was attracted to him, not sexually or romantically, but in terms of the way his character functions in the story. I desperately needed someone to show up and tell me that the problem wasn’t with my mind and provide me with some key information I was missing that would explain what was going on, just like Brian does for Paula. Again, her experience was much more horrifying than mine, but learning that some people are aromantic and asexual, that not feeling those kinds of attraction is perfectly normal for those people, was almost as revelatory to me as learning that her husband killed her aunt and was trying to drive her mad was to Paula. Maybe it sounds like I’m the one being melodramatic now, but I don’t know how else to explain how messed up it is to spend decades convincing yourself and everyone else that you’re feeling things you’re not, and what a relief it is to learn that you were right all along and can finally take the mask off. And that’s why I’ve been focusing so much on looking at movies from an aromantic and asexual perspective on this podcast. Because I don’t want anyone else to go through all that. I want everyone to know that amatonormativity and allonormativity are lies, both because I want people on the aromantic and/or asexual spectrums to understand themselves sooner than I understood myself, and because I want alloromantic, allosexual people to know that not everyone is like them. I don’t blame the allo people I was surrounded with for perpetuating these norms because they didn’t know better. I know they weren’t really trying to gaslight me. But I would like to live in a society where most people do know better.
Anyway, I appreciate this movie for understanding me in ways that I couldn’t articulate until recently. But that’s far from the only reason it’s this high on my list. Again, I truly cannot overemphasize how phenomenal the acting is. Ingrid Bergman was always wonderful, but she took it to a whole other level here, and the rest of the cast were similarly at the top of their game. I never get tired of watching them act together, particularly when I’m in the mood for something a little darker. Like the other Ingrid Bergman movie I talked about, Notorious, I’m not sure whether Gaslight “counts” as film noir, because it has some of the typical noir tropes but lacks other important ones. But from a lighting and cinematography perspective, it definitely feels like a noir, so if you enjoy that style, you’ll probably appreciate this movie. It was nominated for a total of seven Oscars, including Best Picture, Screenplay, and Black-and-White Cinematography, in addition to the three acting nominations I mentioned earlier for Bergman, Boyer, and Lansbury. The only Oscar it won besides Best Actress was for Art Direction, which is something I don’t generally pay a ton of attention to, but the set is particularly important in Gaslight. The house almost functions as a character: it’s Gregory’s accomplice in torturing Paula, and the increasingly cluttered look of the rooms helps emphasize the way it’s trapping her. And, of course, there are the real, vintage gasoliers that give the movie its title and add greatly to its mood. So both of this movie’s Oscars were thoroughly deserved.
Thank you for listening to me discuss another of my most frequently rewatched films. This wraps up the 4-way tie of movies I saw 22 times from 2003 through 2022. I wonder how many other people out there have watched Beauty and the Beast, A Mighty Wind, His Girl Friday, and Gaslight the same number of times in the last 20 years. Anyway, I didn’t watch any movies exactly 23 times, so next up is the only one I watched 24 times, which is also one that I have a LOT of feelings and personal stories about, so stay tuned for what I’m sure will be a particularly long and rambling episode that I hope will be fun to listen to. As always, I will leave you with a quote from that next movie: “I don’t need to act things out in order to write them. I have what we like to call an ‘imagination.’ Have you ever heard of that? Oh, no no no no no, please tell us more about the old man… and the boat.”
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anyastcylorjoy · 2 months ago
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Always have, always will. You shine like the brightest star in the sky and I think you often forget that, so I'm more than happy to give you that gentle reminder. Above and beyond? Personally, I don't think I've lifted you up enough. But kids are certainly not for the weak hearted. They can be terrifying.
PRIVATE: Supportive friend mode has suddenly been activated and I couldn't love you more for immediately jumping into that role. Believe me, the last thing any of us need is contact with Shawn. He kept blowing up my phone after I left because I wasn't answering, but he's stopped now. No doubt more interested in reconciling with his ex. I really shouldn't care, it's not like I was in love with the man but it hurts to feel like a placeholder until someone better comes along. Don't waste your breath on him, Liv. He's not worth it. Matt's... Matt? I don't even know how to describe the encounter. Things felt like old times, before he decided he didn't want me and we stopped talking. We laughed again, that laugh that lights up his entire face and is enormously contagious — you know the one. I know you're not his biggest fan, but it was comforting to be around him during that time... even if I did yell at him... he seemed to handle it well. Precisely my thinking. No need to age us with such demeaning dialogue. Seasoned makes us sound mature without us feeling like we're on deaths door. Oh darling, don't ever feel that way. I want to keep up with your life and if you're happy right now, I'll take that as the universe giving me a win. There's no one more deserving than you. Are you serious? Liv, that's incredible. I'm so happy for the two of you. I'll have to make a real effort to speak with Emma since it seems as though they're going to be around for an extremely long time. Of course they asked you, who wouldn't want you? And in Italy no less? How romantic. How did they ask? Did you cry? I need all the details. Believe me, I'm committed to making that happen. I'm with you, we can't keep doing thing half hearted. We'll have to set up a real plan. Are you free in January? I'll clear my schedule to ensure I can't back out. Movies that screw with you are wonderful to watch but they're exhausting to be a part of. I think it's okay if we take breaks from that. I'm emailing my agent as we speak. This has to take top priority.
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You really do have all the confidence in me, don’t you? As much as I love and adore you and you know you are always the one I turn to when I need a boost, I can’t help but to wonder if maybe you’ve gone a bit above and beyond here. However, you’ll be the first one to know if that happens of course. Ah children…. special little creatures aren’t they? Sneaky as fuck.
PRIVATE: Oh I am going to be such a supportive friend right now, cause I know the last thing you need is me calling you an idiot. But actually I wouldn’t even if the timing of it was suitable. I’d much rather track down Shawn and give him an earful. He’s lucky we’re not in the same place. Fuck me what a jerk. I mean a complete nutter. What the hell is so wrong with not texting and flirting with others, especially your ex, if you’re dating someone? Fucking hell, finish things off before you start drooling over someone else. Anya, I don’t need to say it twice, you deserve better. Now if that’s Matt.. well you know what I think and for your sake I won’t say it right now. I get it, you were vulnerable. We all do questionable things when we’re hurt. I’ll just look at it as if I am glad that at least you stayed with someone you knew, which I am of course. — Seasoned? I like that.. Actually I love that and I am going to be using that phrasing from now on, much preferable. It feels wrong to go off about myself now considering the shit show you’re currently finding yourself in. Nonetheless, I know you’ll absolutely go off on me if I don’t tell you that I’m better than ever actually. Keeping it short and to not rub my happiness in your face — but yeah you know me and Emma and everything that’s been lowkey going on… It’s not so lowkey anymore as we tooted off to Italy last week and they asked me to be their girlfriend. So you’re looking at someone who is officially off the marker. - Honestly we need to make this happen. Like we better plan it so it’s not another thing we say we’ll do and never end up doing. I think we’re in high need of a weekend like that. I’d enjoy doing something less mindfucking. Not that I don’t enjoy it but you know, we seek other routes. Time to tell our agents we’re looking for another project to work together on.
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helladirections · 2 years ago
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BBF 7: A Small Concern
Author: @helladirections Pairing: Harry x YN Status: Part 7. Complete Word Count: 6.5k
Summary: Harry, YN, and her brother return from vacation in Italy and things start out a bit weird but then get really, really good. Ft D/s, light subspace, and an important conversation
MASTERLIST - PATREON - BBF TAG - BBF 6
Read below or on Wattpad or AO3
After coming home from vacation, things were weird. 
It was weird for YN’s brother because he was used to spending a lot of time with Harry, going out on weekends together, and most of his social life revolved around his best friend. Her brother was trying his best to be supportive, but he didn’t like thinking about his sister in that way. He knew what kind of a person Harry was, the good, the bad and the ugly, and he knew what Harry usually talked about when it came to girls he was with. In other words, even if no one told him, he knew what they were doing together. And he didn’t like it. In his mind, his baby sister was still innocent, and the idea of her enjoying the bedroom games and the dynamic that he knew Harry would be playing into was incredibly… weird. 
It was weird for Harry because he felt torn between his best friend and his new… well, YN. He had told her that day in the ocean, the morning after he made her cum on the balcony of the hotel overlooking the sea, that she meant a lot to him. And she did. Every day she meant more and more and more to him. And he absolutely went feral when it was time to play. She was so good at it, even if she claimed she didn’t know what she was doing. She listened to him in the moment, she appreciated the way he spoke to her, and she begged for more. And after, she snuggled up close to him as they both reveled in the way they felt. And although she sometimes felt a bit shy around it, the two of them were having really good conversations about what they did while they played, and he was excited for what was to come. 
It was weird for YN because suddenly, the two most important guys in her life, a pair that had been connected at the hip for decades, were suddenly pulling her apart. Harry used to come to family events because he was practically her brother’s twin. But when they were organizing the first family dinner after the trip, they weren’t sure if they should invite him or not. Was he still her brother’s plus one, or was he hers? When she took the time to chat with her brother, which she tried to do regularly, she quickly realized how uncomfortable it was to talk about the most important thing in her life at the moment - Harry. And when Harry wanted to go out to a bar, she never knew if she was going to be invited or not. 
Ultimately, YN and her brother agreed it was probably best not to invite Harry to family dinner that time. Which led to a weird conversation in which YN wasn’t quite sure if she should tell her parents they were somewhat together, and her brother wasn’t quite sure if he should mention his best friend at all. Their parents picked up on the weird energy, but they couldn’t figure out what the problem was and knew better than to bring it up. 
The morning after, YN and Harry met at his place for coffee. They sat together on his couch drinking and he quickly picked up on her weird energy. 
“How was last night?”
YN just shrugged before taking a sip. 
“Weird.” 
Harry sighed. 
And YN knew the look in his eyes as he gazed at her. She felt his pity. 
“I’m sorry.” 
“Harry there’s nothing to be sorry for?”
“But there is,” he explained. “I’ve made everything so uncomfortable for both of you and it’s not fair. It’s not fair to any of us. Your brother deserves a good best friend, you deserve a good boyfriend, and I deserve to be happy with both of you. It’s not fair.”
It was quiet for a moment then, and YN digested a word that Harry had just used for the first time. 
“Boyfriend?”
Harry’s brows raised as he took a breath. 
“Shit, did I say that?”
YN did her best to laugh it off, in case he wasn’t ready for the label.  In all honesty, he had been acting pretty much like a boyfriend. They saw each other all the time, whenever they could. And when they were apart, Harry was always sending her the cutest little texts like Good morning baby. Remember you said you needed to do the dishes, have a good today and don’t let that dick in accounting get you down, I made an appointment for you to get your car looked at since the engine light is on. 
And his behavior in the bedroom was showing that care and commitment as well. When she had forgotten to go to the mechanic, Harry only used his concern for her as motivation for their play. “You didn’t do as I asked and get your car fixed, so I’m going to punish you. How many spanks do you think is fair?” As she started becoming more comfortable with him and with his style of play, he opened up their conversations to her opinion, showing how much he respected her.
And Harry looked after her too. One time, she went for a night out with friends. She told Harry of course, and he asked her to text him when she got home. And she agreed. Except by the time she got home she was super drunk, super tired, and just about ready to crash. With the crazy night with friends behind her, she just couldn’t think about anything else.
She woke up the next morning to about 50 texts and voicemails from Harry. 
When she called him, his initial response was rather harsh, reminding her that she had agreed to let him know when she was home safe and without doing that he was worried beyond belief that something had happened to her. But when her early morning groggy voice spoke up, Harry’s instantly turned soft. 
“I’m sorry sweetheart,” he cooed after she explained. “I just worry about you is all.” 
The next evening when they had dinner together, things had started normally. Harry made pasta and vegetables, and they each had a small glass of wine while they talked about their days. YN sat on the kitchen counter and continued their conversation, swinging her legs back and forth as Harry cleaned up the dishes. When he finished, he took a few steps until he was between her legs, leaving a soft little kiss on her nose. She giggled, wrapping her arms and legs around his body and letting him carry her to the bedroom.
But once they were there, things changed a bit. He deposited her on the bed and told her only “stay” before he walked into his closet where he kept his toys and things. She could hear him digging around, but she wasn’t sure what for. When she finally saw him reemerge, her eyes nearly glazed over at the sight of what he was holding. A paddle. For her. 
“You were a very naughty girl the other night, hm? Not following my directions?”
“I’m sorry,” she whimpered out. “I was drunk and tired and my friends didn’t know and -” 
Harry cut her off. “I know darling. And I forgive you. But you still deserve a punishment, don’t you think?” 
YN nodded her head. 
They had talked about the paddle several times in the last week alone, and YN had come to the conclusion that she was ready to try it, a bit excited even. So although this was a punishment and would be objectively painful, she was quite excited.
And she had every right to be. While she loved the sting and grasp of Harry’s hand on her bottom, the paddle was so much stronger. It was louder, creating a cracking sound against her skin, turning her red and sore much quicker than Harry could ever do on his own. After each spank, he rubbed her lightly with his hands to calm her down. After five, he commented that her whines were sounding more pleasurable than painful. After ten, he noticed that she was getting wet. And after fifteen, he gave up on the paddle all together and took care of her with his tongue and his fingers, just how he knew she liked. 
Even still, YN wasn’t entirely convinced that Harry really wanted that, especially with her. After all, she was just his best friend’s little sister, right? He had always had a soft spot for her, and while maybe that had grown a bit, she couldn’t be entirely sure that it had come as far as she had for him. So she gave him the opportunity to get out of it. 
“Yeah, but it’s ok. I can pretend I didn’t hear it.” 
Harry’s face contorted into a shape she hadn’t seen much of recently. He looked confused, hurt, concerned. And she immediately realized the assumption he must be making based on her comment.
“I just mean, we don’t have to have that conversation now… unless you want to?”
Harry shook his head. “Hell, why is this so hard to talk about? I can tease you about my cock all day long but I can’t have a simple conversation about how much I like you?” he asked, mostly to himself. 
And YN couldn’t help but laugh. “It’s alright, H. Really.” 
“No, it’s not,” he insisted, running his hand back through his hair. “I need you to know… it’s not just… fuck.” He just couldn’t seem to get the words out.
YN looked at him for a moment before an idea sprung forward. 
“Hey, you said it’s easier for you to talk about… well sex and the stuff that’s hard for me to talk about, right?” 
He nodded.
“Well then… I guess let’s talk about that, right? Like… if I told you I was going on a date with someone else, would you punish me?”
“Oh, big time,” he said, face instantly turning into a frown. “I don’t even know what… definitely wouldn’t let you cum, I know that.” 
“Ok then.” She lifted her head and took Harry’s hand back into her own. “It sounds like you want to be my boyfriend, right?” 
He nodded. 
“Well that’s really good news, because I would be so happy if you would let me be your girlfriend.”
“Really?” 
She leaned forward then, her free hand finding a place at the back of Harry’s head as she pulled him in for a sweet little kiss. 
“Really.”
Harry paused for a moment, smiling wide and looking around her entire face. And although he had seen her completely bare countless times now, she had never felt more scene or vulnerable than in that moment. He was looking at her face, but he was also looking at something deep inside of her, something which she couldn’t ever put into words but knew was there. Something that very few people ever truly got to see from her.
She couldn’t help but blush. 
As she opened her mouth to say something, she was cut off roughly by Harry’s lips again. This time the intensity of the kiss was like nothing they had ever experienced together. He couldn’t find the words, so he was using this action to tell her that he was all in, and she understood. 
Drinks long forgotten and sitting on the coffee table, Harry used his leverage to bring YN closer to him until she was straddling his lap on the couch. His hands found their places, one rubbing up and down her back, continually pressing her torso closer to him, and the other buried into her hair, keeping her head exactly where he wanted it. 
Her hands began by resting on his shoulders, but soon danced around to embrace his cheek, his chest, and anything else she could reach. Their intimate moments were always intense in a particular way due to the nature of their play, but this was the most passionate she thinks they had ever been. Roles and labels and rules didn’t matter, all that mattered was getting as much from the other person as they possibly could.
She could feel his bulge growing beneath her center, and started grinding down on it. Trying her best, she kissed him through each of their gasps, never allowing their mouths to completely disengage. A warmth began to spread from her legs up into her lower tummy, and she started to curl her toes. 
“Tha’s my girl,” Harry mumbled into her mouth. “Use me like a good little slut, get that cunt nice and wet for me. Feels good, doesn’t it?” 
She nodded her head, whining in response. 
Her pleasure was growing, but her legs were becoming tired and her movements were slowing. Harry noticed quickly and moved his hands down to her hips where he could help her roll against the zipper of his pants. 
“So good for me,” he praised. “Come on baby, wanna see you cum like a good girl. You’re my good girl, right?”
“Yes!” she gasped before resting her head down against his shoulder.
The pleasure was building and building like never before. It felt filthy, the way they were grinding into each other like teenagers, fully clothed. But she didn’t have it in her to stop and remove any layers. She needed him, and needed whatever she could get from him as soon as possible. And he seemed to feel the same way, or at least understand. 
“My girlfriend’s gonna cum on me, isn’t she? Cream her panties like a filthy little whore. Can’t even wait to get your clothes off, is that right?”
“Yes, Harry,” she moaned again.
“That’s alright, baby,” he said, turning to kiss the side of her head lightly. “You can cum. Whenever you’re ready, you can cum.” 
And it must’ve been something about how his tone changed from teasing to be sweeter, or maybe just the fact that he was giving her permission, but she hardly lasted another thirty seconds before her release approached. 
When that tight knot inside of her belly finally burst, all she could do was bite down on his shoulder through his shirt, losing control of her vocal chords as she made sure to express to him how good she felt. Eyes squeezed closed, she saw colors across the spectrum in her vision as she worked through her peak. 
Harry kept his hands where they were, continuing to roll her against him until she was a whimpering, whining little mess in his lap. When he was satisfied that she was satisfied, he finally released her, instead using his hands to calm her by rubbing up and down her back.
“Did that feel good?” he asked, even though they both clearly knew the answer.
“Yes,” she whispered. 
“Good, I’m so glad darling… because I think we should celebrate the occasion today, don’t you?”
She nodded her head, silently.
“I think we should tie up those pretty little hands to my bed and see how many times I can make your pretty little pussy cum for me. What do you think?”
Her breath caught in her throat for a moment before she eventually nodded her head again.
He chuckled at her response.
“Alright then sweetheart, hold on tight.” 
She clung to him like a koala as he carried her across the apartment to his bedroom, depositing her on his bed. Looking up at him, she knew she must already look wrecked. Her eyes were wide and sore, likely red with a few good tears. Her hair was surely a mess from the way he was playing and pulling it earlier. Her natural instinct was to rest with her thighs apart, giving him plenty of space. 
“Oh look at you,” he cooed, his tone soft and affectionate. “Little slut with her legs open already. Let’s get those clothes off of you, yeah?”
“Yeah,” she whispered with a broken voice. 
They were quiet as he went about his work, dragging her clothes off of her body and throwing them towards his own laundry basket. He was slower than usual, taking time to appreciate her and leave little kisses on her skin each time a new area was revealed to him. Although he had always been caring and sweet when they were together, he was showing a new level of appreciation. She assumed it was due to the new label, and she definitely wasn’t going to complain about it. 
After she was bare, he instructed her to shift up so her head was on his pillows, and he disappeared into his large walk-in closet. Patiently, she waited for him, a chill rising over her skin as she was alone in the room, unsure of exactly what he was going to grab. She knew he kept all his toys and supplies in the bottom drawer at the back of the closet, but had never opened it herself. He could be grabbing anything.
When he reappeared, he held one object in each hand. 
“One day, I think we’ll use these handcuffs. Get your wrists nice and sore. But today,” he explained, holding up the metal cuffs in one hand and a black tie in the other, “I think we’ll start with the silk. It’s strong, and it might hurt a bit, but it’s not as sharp and it’s much easier to untie if you go yellow or red.” 
“Ok,” she said softly, knowing he would be requiring her words of consent before he continued. 
“Now, I’m going to tie your hands up to my headboard, and you let me know if it’s too tight.” 
“Yes sir,” she replied. And she could see the first mention of his title affected him as he paused his action to take a deep breath. 
Lifting her hands above her head, she watched as he diligently placed them where he wanted them. Harry bit down on his lip as he was concentrating hard on perfecting the slipknot that would hold her securely but easily release her. He even demonstrated how easy it would be to let her go if she wanted, making sure she understood her predicament fully. 
“Alright darling, pull your arms down for me a little bit.” 
She followed his instruction, but her wrists only moved a fraction of an inch before the silk tie stopped them. The material was cool and slick against her skin, but strong as well. 
“Aw, honey,” he cooed, looking down at her and seeing the goosebump on her skin. “You’re a little chilly?”
She nodded.
“Well not to worry, we’ll warm you right up, I’m sure.” 
YN couldn’t help but blush at his remark.
Harry leaned down then, leaving a soft kiss on her lips that was all too short for her liking. She whined when he disconnected, but Harry only laughed and instead of giving her what she wanted, he began to kiss down her neck. He was gentle at first, leaving wet spots in his wake. But when he reached the apex of her neck and her shoulder, he bit down hard. 
She gasped at the feeling.
“I know darling,” he whispered, as he kissed over the blossoming bruise. “Just wanna mark you up, show everyone that you’re mine. You’re mine now, aren’t you?”
“Yes,” she whispered.
“Yes, what?”
“Yes sir!” 
He hummed in contentment before he continued down her body. Over the top of her chest and down to her breasts, sucking one into his mouth while massaging the other with his free hand. Switching sides eventually, he made sure to leave another mark on each before continuing down her tummy. It was when he reached below her navel that the goosebump came back.
“Mmm,” he remarked, his nose nudging at her inner thighs and where she wanted him most. “Smell so good, y’know that? Smell like a perfect little whore, just for me. Isn’t that right? You’re just for me?” 
“Yes sir!”
“That’s right… all mine.” 
He was practically talking to himself as she saw him close his eyes and rest his head on her thigh. His hand came dragging up from her opposite ankle until it was in his line of sight and he finally put it in his mouth for a moment to slick it up. 
“Tell me,” he started again. “What’s all mine? Are your tits all mine?” 
“Yes, sir.” 
His hand traveled over to cup her core, still not putting any pressure on it. 
“Are your lips all mine?” 
“Yes, sir.” 
Sticking out one finger, he let it slide up and down her slit one time, earning a small shudder from her in response.
“Is your pussy all mine?” 
“Yes, sir!” she gasped. 
He left one last kiss on her thigh before pushing her legs wider and bringing his fingers to her center. Carefully, he used his thumbs to spread her lips apart and his forefingers to reveal her clit. 
“So pretty, my little pussy, isn’t it?” he asked to no one. “Pretty, perfect, drippy little mess, isn’t that right?” 
“Harry, please!” she begged from above him.
YN tried desperately to move her hands down to his hair like she usually did, only to be caught by the silk tie she had nearly forgotten about. She let out a pout and a whine at the realization, and Harry only laughed.
“Oh dear,” he cooed condescendingly. “Not going to get very far with that, now, are you? Just let me do my work. I’ll take care of you, I always do,” he reminded her. 
She nodded her head.
He stood above her, fully clothed as she was completely naked before him. “Now before I start, tell me your color.” 
“Green, Harry. So green, please.”
He displayed a mischievous smirk at her begging before he finally got to work. 
——
YN, certainly, did not hear the phone ringing. How could she? With the noises the two of them were making, the ringing in her ears, and white hot pleasure spreading throughout her body. Harry had already delivered three or four orgasms (she had lost track, to be honest) with his mouth and fingers before he finally slid his pants just low enough on his thighs for his cock to spring forward. 
He did as he always did and filled her to the brim, stretching her in the most delicious way. Hovering over her, he practically slipped out several times due to how wet the area was, proof of her arousal as if her moans, expressions, and words were not enough. The sound of him thrusting in and out was filthy, wet squelches each time their skin smacked together. YN had always thought she hated that sound, but it turned out she loved anything that Harry gave her. 
Harry did notice the phone though, turning his head away from her for the first time in ages to look at his side table. He slowed down for a moment, causing her to release a whine as she had been building up to something. She expected him to just turn it off and continue giving his full attention to her, but she turned out to be wrong.
A look of annoyance on his face turned back into his signature smirk that meant he was up to something. And typically, that something excited YN to no end, so she had never had a reason to be turned off by it. But in that moment, she couldn’t imagine what he could be thinking other than fucking her harder and faster and longer. 
“Listen carefully,” he whispered, picking up his speed again. “I am going to answer the phone, and you are not going to make any noise, are we clear?”
“Y-yes,” she stuttered.
“Are we clear, darling?” he asked again.
“Yes, sir,” she answered, realizing her mistake. 
“Mitch is calling and I’m going to talk to him about our plans for the weekend, and you are going to stay silent. Now, tell me, are you still green?”
“Yes, sir.” 
He nodded his head in response, taking a breath before reaching over to the phone, which was likely nearing its last ring. Finally answering, he slid his finger across the screen and tapped on the speaker button.
“H!” a deep voice called out from the other side.
“Mitch!” he replied.
Harry shifted his body just slightly so he had a better angle to talk towards the phone, meaning his face was further away from YN’s, much to her disappointment. 
“So I was thinking for this weekend, the game is at 12:30, right? And last time we…” 
Mitch was talking, but YN could barely make sense of it. It took her entire being, all of the effort in her body not to scream with the way Harry was brushing up against her g-spot with each thrust. She yanked hard at the tie around her wrists, silently begging to bite onto the back of her hand before remembering she was unable to. So instead she turned her head to the side away from the phone, squeezed her eyes shut, and bit her lip hard.
“Yeah, yeah, that sounds great buddy,” she heard Harry say through the fuzz her mind seemed to be filling with. “And then after should we go to that pub where - hang on a moment,” he cut himself off.
Without stopping his motions, he reached down in between their bodies, finding YN’s clit easily and beginning to rub. 
When YN gasped uncontrollably, he looked at her with a frown before slamming his other hand over her mouth. 
“What was that, mate? You busy right now?” Mitch asked through the phone.
“No, no, sorry. Anyway I was saying…” 
Every sense in her body was on high alert, nerve endings on fire as she neared yet another pinnacle. She guessed Harry could sense it by the way she was clenching around him and biting her lips behind his hand, but he only pressed down harder on her mouth. 
It was really no use though, as her orgasm was coming fast. She wanted to say something, to warn him that it was coming, but without hands or her voice, she had no way. Not that she truly needed to, he somehow always knew. His fingers down below increased their speed and his hips picked up their rhythm. She had no chance. 
This was the biggest one yet, she was sure. When it hit her, all she saw behind her eyes was a white canvas, black dots scattering her vision. Although she tried her best, she couldn’t hold it in any longer and a loud moan released from her throat. She was sure whoever was on the other end of the phone could hear it easily, but it didn’t matter. Goosebumps popped up over her skin yet again and every muscle in her legs and abdomen flexed, seemingly of their accord. And Harry’s body kept doing exactly what it was doing, no slowing down or stopping or offering relief.
As she came down and opened her eyes, she turned her head back to look up at him. There was a static in her ears, a tingling in her body, and a blurriness in her vision like she had never experienced. And all she could see was him, was Harry, above her and staring right back at her. 
“Beautiful,” he whispered. “My beautiful girl, that was incredible.” 
He dropped his hand off of her mouth then, moving it to rub some hair that had stuck to her forehead away from her face. She saw fondness in his eyes, a fondness that was always there, but never as pure as this. 
Eventually, his hips did slow and his other hand left her, giving her a tiny bit of air to breathe. And without losing the fondness in his eyes, he went right back to playing their game. 
“Such a fucking slut, hm? How’d I end up with the filthiest fucking girlfriend?” he practically spat at her. 
All she could do was whine in response, the words seemingly gone from her mind altogether. 
“Just got off while I was on the phone. He could’ve heard you, you know. What would I have done then, if my friend had heard my girl getting off?” 
He waited for her response, although they both knew it wasn’t coming. 
“Or maybe you liked it, hm? Liked being exposed like that? Should I just let him see your pussy too? Let the whole neighborhood see it, while we’re at it? Let everyone see what a pathetic little beautiful slut I’ve got in my bed?” 
 Just as he finished his little rant, Harry managed to hit a particular spot inside of her with more force than usual, causing her to moan out in delight. 
“Fuck, really? My little girlfriend is gonna cum around my cock again? Tell me,” he asked, “what’s your color?” 
Everything was a little bit fuzzy around the edges for her then. She wasn’t thinking in words, but rather in screams and moans and whines that she was giving to him. Mouth agape, she couldn’t get anything to come out. 
“Your color, darling,” he asked again, softer this time as he began to slow her hips. “Or a number? Show me a number with your fingers.” 
It took a moment before she could process what he was saying, but eventually something deep inside of her clicked and she stuck up one finger, weak but proud, showing she was still green.
“That’s my good girl,” he cooed at her, leaning up to kiss at her fingertip. “What do you say we let those hands free, now, hm? And then give me one more big one before I fill you up?” 
She didn’t respond, but he didn’t need her too, he already knew the answers to any of his questions. 
Pausing his hips for just a moment, he slipped out of her easily, although they both released a sharp hiss at the loss of contact. He crawled up her body until he was sitting on her torso to better reach the tie against his headboard. And with one quick motion, her hands were released. 
But she wasn’t even thinking about her hands or her sore wrists, to be honest. She was thinking about his proud dick standing in front of her, practically making her mouth water. Staring directly at it, YN wasn’t even trying to hide her intentions. 
“Go on then, touch it if you want it so bad,” Harry nudged. 
Her arms felt as if they were acting on their own, or purely on the will of her mind but without the strength of her actual muscles. They were slightly numb as she grasped him, which might have been the reason her touch was just a little off.
“Ahh, lighter, darling,” he whispered to her, grimacing with the intensity of her grip. 
—-—- 
“Come on, babygirl, you’ve got one more in there for me,” he whispered, thumb rubbing against the side of her cheek as his hips continued to thrust into hers. 
She responded only with a whine, actual words gone to the wayside several orgasms ago.
“Yes you do,” he replied. “You have one more, I know it. Now come on, give it to me.” 
And maybe it was the way he was demanding and yet entirely soft at the same time, or maybe it was just the mechanics of how he was making her feel, but she only lasted a few seconds more before she was fulfilling his request with another scream, a tight pull of his hair, and the last in a long line of orgasms she couldn’t even bare to try and count. 
“That’s it, sweetheart, knew you could do it. Now it’s my turn, alright? Gonna fill you up, so deep in your belly, isn’t that right?” 
She nodded, tears now drying down her cheeks. 
He kissed her deeply as he came inside of her, never allowing her to have a moment without pleasure herself. Her own lips and tongue hardly moved, but he seemed happy to put in all the work. Groaning from deep in his chest, he came to his release before collapsing on top of her.
Their breaths were fast, and yet in sync with each other. Up and down, in and out. Their hearts beating hard, as if trying to leave their ribcages and meet each other, attracted like magnets too strong for any opposition. She was left gasping as he eventually rolled off of her, his cock slipping out of her center. 
Even in his exhaustion, he had the wherewithal to finger her hand and interlace their fingers, leaving a short kiss on her shoulder.
They stayed like that for a while, how long she had no way of knowing. Her mind was still fuzzy, but it was also warm. Even without words at her disposal, she knew she was thinking about Harry, about how much she adored and cared for him, about how good he always made her feel, about how grateful she was to have finally admitted something to him that night on the balcony of the hotel. 
When he rolled away from her and sat up on the side of the bed, she whined in disappointment. 
“I know, pretty girl,” he whispered, leaning over to kiss her sticky forehead. “I’ll be right back. Just gonna get a warm cloth to clean you up with. Then I’m gonna run a nice bath for us both, how’s that sound?” 
She nodded her head.
He was gentle in his ministrations, which was good seeing as her entire region was sore and spent. The entire time he wiped her down he was cooing words of encouragement and affection. When he seemed convinced that his work was complete, he disappeared again for a moment, leaving YN to close her eyes. 
The next thing she knew, he was carrying her from the bed to the adjoining bathroom, and depositing her in a warm bath. Harry took his place behind her and encouraged her to lean back onto his chest. Water surrounding them smelled of rosemary, which only made YN think about the color of Harry’s eyes. Unfortunately, she was far too gone to open her own and try to have a look.
He hummed softly a tune that didn’t exist as he rubbed up and down her arms, bringing the water up and keeping her warm. The fuzzy feeling in her head started to dissipate until it was only resting at the edges. 
“Such a good girl, y’know that?” he praised her softly. “So good for me. Tried new things today, didn’t you?” 
In a delayed response, YN nodded her head. 
“Yeah. But that’s not the only reason why you’re so good to me, is it? Officially became mine today. Thought about that for so long, you’ve no idea,” he whispered, shaking his head in dismay. “If someone would’ve told me a couple of months ago that we’d be doing this together I’d have called them an idiot. But here we are, together. Isn’t that right?”
“Yes,” she whispered, voice crackling as she released the first word in ages.
“Oh, there’s my girl,” he praised, kissing the back of her head again. “Lost you a little bit there, didn’t I?”
YN hummed in agreement.
“You go somewhere? Your mind get a little quiet and happy while we were playing tonight?”
“Yeah.” 
“Ahh,” he answered. “Has that ever happened to you before?”
She shook her head.
“Did you like it?” 
Waiting a moment to process the question, she decided that yes, she did like it. The feeling of letting everything else go and giving in to the pleasure and soft feelings of her mind. It was new, but it wasn’t scary. It was nice, and happy like he had said.
“I think so. It was… soft.” 
Harry let out a chuckle. “Soft, that’s a new one I haven’t heard before.” 
They rest there together a little while longer until the water was starting to cool. At that point, Harry helped her out of the tub and wrapped her in a fluffy towel. 
“I’ve already got some sweats laying out on the bed for you, if you want them,” he added for good measure.
And of course she wanted them. Of course she wanted to put on comfy clothes that belonged to him, smelled like him, felt like him. The pants were soft and warm, and the shirt was well worn through. After she was dressed, he helped her to dry and brush her hair before going to get them both a snack. 
“Harry?” she asked, while they sat together leaning against the headboard and eating sandwiches. 
“Yes?”
“What was… that?”
“What was what, darling?” 
She sighed, not sure how to describe her question. “The… soft… feeling? It was… fuzzy? And blank… and nice?” 
He chuckled, turning to look at her.
“Have you ever heard of something called subspace, dear?” 
She shook her head.
“Well, the general idea is that you, being submissive to me in bed, get so into what we’re doing, and you’re feeling so good, that you kind of… let go. And let me take care of you. And your mind kind of… turns off, except for that good, soft, fuzzy feeling.” 
“Oh,” she answered softly. “Was it… was it ok? Should I…not?” 
“Of course it was ok!” he responded quickly. “It means you trust me, and it means you felt really good. So it’s definitely ok.” 
“Oh, ok,” she chirped. 
YN finished her sandwich and looked over at the clock. Harry had come over in the late morning and they had spent hours together in bed and then in the bath. It was still a bit early for her typical bedtime, but considering all the exertion of the day she decided it was an acceptable time for bed.
“Harry? Can we… I want to cuddle. And is it ok if I fall asleep?”
She was met with the sweetest look on his face as he reached over to pinch her chin.
“Of course, baby. Come on then, get under the blankets with me.” 
She did as she was told, Harry reaching over and flicking off the lights to the room. He held her head on his shoulder and their legs tangled together. Her hand was resting on his chest, where she felt the light smattering of hairs and the soft beating of his heart.
“Are you really my boyfriend, now, Harry?” she whispered.
“If you’ll have me,” he answered. “Are you really my girlfriend?” 
“Definitely.” 
He kissed the top of her head again before moving his hand to rub against her back. 
It was the easiest sleep of YN’s life. 
MASTERLIST - PATREON - BBF TAG - BBF 6
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danielxricciardo · 3 years ago
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Summary: You and Daniel try to start a family
Warnings: fluff
Word count: 1.6k+
Two years ago
You and Daniel decided to wait a year after your wedding before you start trying for a child, not because you were not ready, but because you wanted to enjoy your married life to the fullest.
Your first anniversary was on a Sunday. A race Sunday to be exact. You were in France, in the McLaren garage watching your husband do what he loved the most. You were so proud of him, climbing from the 10th position to 4th place, and he still got ten more laps, enough to secure a podium, the first of this season.
You and Michael were glued to the screens as you saw Daniel overtaking Carlos. He did that just in time because the race was now over. You were over the moon, it was the best anniversary gift he could've got you.
There is a quiet kind of "cheerful," the soft kind that comes as a quiet river on a sunny day. It is a way of being that allows others a positive space to open up into, a space that is ready to support their emotions and needs.
You went to him as soon as he stepped into the garage. You couldn't wait to hug him and tell him how proud you were of him. He had his helmet down and thanked the entire team for the good work they had done together. And then he saw you. You were standing in the middle of the garage, looking at him with big eyes and a smile as big as his. You knew how much he needed that victory, he needed that motivation to improve from one race to the next.
You jumped into his arms and kissed him passionately as if years had passed since you last saw him, not just two hours, maximum. His hug emanated a soothing warmth, you were both very happy with the result of the race.
"Congratulations, love! You were incredible today!" you tell him and everybody could feel the smile and happiness in your voice.
"I still feel lucky," he whispers in your ear so no one can hear. "What do you say? Are we trying today?"
For a few moments, you didn't realize what he meant. You let go of his hug and looked at him frowning, but you soon realized what that was all about. It was your first anniversary, so you could start trying for a baby.
"Oh," you say when you realized. "That kind of trying. Well, it's been a year, so yeah, we can try today if you are so lucky."
"We don't have to if you don't want, baby," his voice was hushed, the people near you had no right to hear your plans for tonight.
"Hurry up and get done here, I can't wait to go back to the hotel room."
You found out that getting pregnant is not that easy. You tried that night, multiple times, and every day after that. You started to track your ovulation, but nothing was happening. It was already your fifth month of actively trying to conceive, and you started to lose your hopes of conceiving naturally.
You tried everywhere. In Monaco, Austria, Russia, Spain, Turkey, Great Britain, Italy, Belgium, Netherlands, but nothing. Whenever he had even 30 minutes to spare, you would go to any available room and you would try.
But it was on Daniel's birthday that you went to a bar, just the two of you, and got drunk. You spent the entire night there, just drinking wine and talking about everything you could think of. After being done there, you went to your home and had sex. You couldn't name that 'trying for a baby' because it was messy, sloppy, and rough. But apparently, that was what you needed to conceive because three weeks later, you got your positive result after your period was late for a while.
You could wait no longer and suddenly your voice was trembling. You had the pregnancy test hidden in your palm and you showed it to him. At first, he did not understand what it was or what you were doing, or why you were behaving that way. He looked at your face and the test and your face again. "What’s this?" he said.
"I’m pregnant."
And you broke down. He was overwhelmingly happy and kept wiping your tears and hugging you and asking if you were sure. It was just the magnitude of the news that made him want to be sure. You laid down on his lap and he was stroking your hair for a while. It was blissful! You thanked God in a small prayer and cuddled and slept for a while.
One year ago
Daniel decided to surprise you with a weekend getaway before the baby would come so you went to a cottage a friend of yours owned. You were 38 weeks pregnant and your husband checked, the nearest hospital was 20 minutes away, so you were safe.
He was filming the entire trip. Not for broadcasting purposes, but for you to watch later, your last trip before being a family of three.
"So, mama, tell me, how do you feel?" he asked you.
You were laying on the couch, touching your belly.
"Fine, I just need to pee, again," you say trying to get up.
Daniel puts the camera down and comes to help you. You say a quick thank you and go to the bathroom for the hundredth time. When you got up from the toilet you felt some fluid on your leg but thought nothing of it. You came back to Daniel who was now replaying a clip from a few days ago when he filmed you after the nursery was done.
"Done, baby?"
"Yeah. This is so strange, ever since this morning I pee constantly. Every 10 minutes, I think I have a bladder infection but there is no pain."
"Ok, well, tomorrow we can go to the pharmacy to pick some medication, sounds good?"
"Yeah, sure."
That night you went to bed at 10 PM but got up at 3 AM, again, with a strong need to pee. So you got up from bed, trying not to wake up Daniel, and went to the bathroom. You figured you won't be getting much sleep from now on so you went in the living room to watch some tv. You were right. Until 7 in the morning you went to the bathroom every 10 minutes.
Daniel woke up at 6:30 AM and was kind enough to cook breakfast for the two of you. He told you that he'll go into town to pick some pills for your infection and that won't take more than an hour.
He left at around 8 AM and around that time you felt a little cramping but again no pain so you thought it was Braxton-Hicks. But you were 38 weeks, you wanted to go full-term with the baby boy.
Daniel came back 45 minutes late and asked you how you were feeling.
"I'm fine, just a little weird."
"Weird how?"
"I don't know, I have cramps, I pee a lot..."
"Do you think we need to go to the hospital?"
"No, of course not, love, I'm fine."
But the constant nudging made you agree to go to the hospital. And surprise! You were 3 cm dilated and after 15 minutes you were 5 cm dilated. After a little over 4 hours, you were holding your baby boy. Turns out the need to pee was contractions not a bladder infection at all, your doctor explained it to you.
It was just you and Daniel in a little rural hospital with your baby boy. You didn't even have a signal on the phone to call your families to let them know about your son's birth.
Present
You and Cassian, your baby boy, were at the first race of the season. It was, also, your son's first race ever and he was excited. Everybody gave him candy and caressed him and he enjoyed all the attention he received. When his godfather, Max, saw him, he went crazy. He wanted Max to hold him in his arms and, although he was in a hurry to join his team, he stayed with his nephew for a few minutes.
Cassian wore pair of noise-canceling headphones that Daniel ordered for him with his helmet design on them. He knew his daddy was in an orange car and whenever he saw it on the screen he would clap.
When Daniel had to pit for a new set of tires Cassian wanted to go to him and he started to shake and whimper because he wanted to go to his father.
When he calmed down the race was already over and Daniel was walking towards you, opening his arms to hug his son. He pressed a kiss to your lips as you congratulated him on the race; it was not a podium, but a decent 5th place.
"Remember my last podium?" he asked you and you rolled your eyes at him. "If I get another one this season do you think we can try again?"
You bit your lip.
"Why?"
He frowned.
"Why would two people try for a baby?"
"I don't know," you said and shrugged. "It seems like a waste of time considering that I am already pregnant."
You saw Daniel's eyes getting bigger, and then his smile that could rip his face in half.
"You are?"
"Mhm," you smile at him. "I am."
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holden-caulfield · 3 years ago
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Traditions
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main masterlist
REQUESTED: "Hii may i request a draco x reader where they’re bestfriends atm but they both have feeling for each other and none of them is willing to tell anything. it’s winter, then they end up under a mistletoe. But the key is that the mistletoe only spawns above those who both love each other."
SUMMARY: y/n and draco find themselves under some mistletoe.
WARNINGS: none!!
WORD COUNT: 797
A/N: i'm not sure about this one, i've been feeling really unmotivated and uninspired... idk
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"You're really not gonna tell her?" spoke Blaise incredulously.
"Of course not, i'm not gonna make a fool of myself." said Draco haughtily, but it was evident there was a touch of fear in his voice.
"You already are a fool, might as well ask her out." added Theo Nott from his bed.
Draco shot him a deadly glare before deciding he was ready to descend the stairs towards the common room.
"You should just tell him, y/n!" said Pansy, her tone slightly annoyed at your stubbornness.
"You know i'm not, you can stop telling me." you declared, sitting on your bed waiting for your friends to get ready.
It was the final day of school before the winter break; that meant saying goodbye to all your friends as if it was the last time you'd see each other forever, only to see them again in january.
You finally reached the common room, at the same time the boys did. A fortuity.
You caught Draco's gaze before everyone else's, always so calm and collected. He smiled at you, a rare occurrence because the boy's face never showed particular signs of happiness.
You smiled back, the joy of having finished the tests until next year showing through the bright grin directed to the boy.
You opted to talk to him, not to confess your feelings, you wouldn't have. It was nothing but a crush, one that didn't need to be revealed.
He saw you approaching and the thought of disclosing his love crossed his mind, but he wouldn't have. No, he wouldn't.
"Off to Paris, Malfoy?" you started jokingly, knowing about the Malfoys' usual 'common and boring' trips, as Draco frequently described them.
"Italy, most probably, it's much better." you giggled and you would have continued your casual conversation hadn't it been for your friends calling you.
"Y/n, Draco..."
"Yes, we're coming."
"No..." you stopped yourself to stare at your friends but they simply pointed out a spot just above your head.
You and Draco looked up to find mistletoe, mouths slightly agape at the unexpected coincidence.
You let out a laugh that sounded more like a heavy breath as you kept on staring at the plant above you, utterly scared of what might happen if you crossed his stormy eyes instead.
He seemed to have the same idea, keeping his gaze on the mistletoe, jaw clenched.
"Maybe you should... y'know..." started Pansy with her usual shrilly tone that only appeared when something exciting was happening.
Draco finally looked at you, but you didn't dare lower your regard.
"We shouldn't-"
"It'd be just a kiss, bad things happen to those who break traditions..." uttered Theo much like a prophet, interrupting Draco and his weak attempt at restraining himself.
"It'd be... just a kiss, right?" you finally spoke, barely audible, but Draco's ears understood your dulcet voice perfectly.
"Only if you want." he stated clearly, but you both wanted it. You had wanted it since the day you had met. But the courage to actually make the first step always seemed too weak in comparison to the will to maintain your friendship, the fear the sentiment might not have been reciprocated.
You tentatively closed the distance and he followed gladly. Lips finally touching after so much longing.
It was an instant you wished last forever, but under the curious gazes of your nosey friends you deemed it best to stop.
His cheeks were now scarlet and your own certainly felt hot after the searing moment you had just exchanged. You blamed the sudden heat on the observers, but you both knew the real reason.
"Well?" asked Daphne, leaning towards the two of you almost as if she was watching the most important scene of her favourite tv show.
"Well what? It was nothing, just- a friendly kiss, wasn't it?" you replied, staring at Draco once more.
"It would have been, but that is magical mistletoe." stated Blaise, pointing to the plant hanging above you. You lifted your gaze and noticed it had considerably grown since the last time you saw it, red berries adorning its every branch.
"And?" asked Draco, an eyebrow raising up in question and slight annoyance. Typical, but you couldn't help but love it.
"It only spawns above those who love each other."
At that point, your body was like on fire and you felt your limbs suddenly go rigid. You wanted to do something but it was impossible.
"Very funny. Hilarious, really." continued Draco, trying to play it off, but his eyes displayed something else, uncertainty.
"Try moving, it'll spawn there too." spoke Blaise, incredibly amused.
"I swear i would have told you." you suddenly said, catching everyone's attention. "At some point."
"No, you wouldn't." shrieked Pansy.
He smirked, "Then good thing this happened."
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marlena-immortale · 3 years ago
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Movie Nights
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Summary: You and Thomas both have a crush on each other but are too nervous to make a move, until one day he finally works up the courage. (Based on these requests ⬇️) 
- Hi! Could you maybe write something about being roommates with Thomas, and you both have kind of fallen for each other, but don’t want to ruin the friendship so youre both too nervous to say anything? (Until of course, one of you can’t take it anymore and confesses). Thanks regardless!
- Would I please be able to request a Thomas fic where he and reader have been best friends forever and always secretly had a crush on each other, then finally confess their feelings? Then maybe it turns smutty 👀
CW: Not super smutty but a little spicy, just some titty touching and making out, mostly just cute fluff and mutual pining
Word Count: 1.5k
You and Thomas have been close friends for years now and, after you graduated college, you decided to move to Italy and Thomas offered to let you move in with him to the extra room in his apartment. And now, the two of you are inseparable. You’re always tagging along with him and the band when they go out, when you’re welcomed by all of them of course, and you and Thomas are joined at the hip the whole time. Strangers are always confusing you two for a couple and you both just laugh it off but you secretly don’t mind. In fact, you would absolutely love for it to be true. 
One night, you’re out at a party with Thomas and the rest of the band and you’re talking to Vic by the wall, watching Thomas dance out of the corner of your eye. 
“Honey, we can all see it,” Vic says when she sees you staring off yet again. Your attention is brought back to her, cheeks heating up. 
“See what?” you sheepishly respond. 
“We see you and Thomas always flirting with each other but both of you are too afraid to make a move,” Vic says with a smirk, leaning in close so no one else hears. 
You feel your cheeks heat up even more, realizing that everyone knows your little secret. You cross your arms in a vain attempt to protect yourself. “I- I do not flirt with Thomas. And he certainly does not flirt with me,” you stutter through. 
Just as you attempt to compose yourself again, you see Vic smiling at someone and look over to the direction of her gaze to see a smiley Thomas barrelling his way over to you two. Once he gets to his destination, he immediately wraps his one arm around your shoulder and the other around your waist. He was always super comfortable and affectionate with you so this wasn’t out of the ordinary. 
“Hey ladies, having fun?” Thomas says.
“Tons. I think I’ll leave you two alone now though,” Vic responds while already starting to walk off.
Thomas quickly stops her. “Wait Vic, stay! Don’t worry, we won’t do anything you wouldn’t wanna see,” he says with a wink in your direction. Vic raises her eyebrows and looks to you as if to say see I told you. You roll your eyes at both of them and watch as Vic shakes her head and smiles, walking away from you. 
You’re suddenly very aware of your surroundings, you get a little nervous. That’s not to say you mind being encased in Thomas’s arms, but he does get your heart beating a little too fast sometimes. Thomas notices you staring at him and pipes up, “you wanna ditch this place babe?”
He just called you babe. Your heartbeat now comes to a complete halt. But, he calls everyone babe right? You’ve definitely heard him call Damiano babe before, and maybe even Vic too if you think back. So this can’t mean anything. Right?
Thomas takes you out of your thoughts by holding you closer and asking, “well, is that a yes?” 
“Oh. Yes-uh- yeah let’s get out of here,” you somehow get out of your mouth. You don’t know why you’re so nervous all of the sudden, you’re not usually like this with Thomas. You try to shake it off as you walk together to your car. This party was interrupting one of your weekly movie nights so you spent the car ride discussing what movie you should watch instead. 
As soon as you make it home, you order delivery from your favorite pizza place and open a bottle of wine. You pour two glasses as he sets the pizza box down on the coffee table in the living room and turns on the movie you’ve selected. 
You bring the (way too full) glasses of wine and hand one to Thomas as you get under the soft, warm blanket with him. You immediately cuddle up to him, resting your head on his shoulder with your arm resting around his neck and his around your waist. You scooch back so your side is against his chest, halfway in his lap. He smiles and blushes when you snuggle closer and cheers your glasses.   
A few hours later, you’re both a little wine drunk and somehow have cuddled up even closer to each other under the blanket on the couch and you can feel each other's heartbeats racing. You look up at him and see that he’s already staring down at you, you ask, “Why aren’t you watching the movie?”    
Feeling incredibly bold from the wine, he says, “because you’re more interesting to look at”. You can feel the warmth in your cheeks rise and a smile appear on your face, but your nerves are still present. He could mean it in a friendly way, or it could just be a joke, you thought. 
You realize he’s being serious when you see a blush reach his cheeks as well and start to shift under you, trying to escape your grasp, thinking you don’t feel the same. 
“No, wait. What do you mean?” you say as you stop him from shifting away. 
“I-Uh-I  well… I mean I think you’re really pretty y/n,” he stutters. The tension between you two is suddenly palpable and you both are just sitting there not saying anything, staring at each other. 
You decide to say ‘fuck it’ and quickly finish your third glass of wine, pouring what’s left of it into your mouth, and grab Thomas’s glass from his hands before setting them both down on the table. You lightly grab his face, pulling him into a gentle kiss. He’s not kissing you back so you pull away to see his slightly stunned face. Thinking you’ve fucked up, you try to come up with words to apologize before he finally comes to his senses and goes back in for another kiss, this time filled with much more passion and intensity. His long fingers end up tangled in your hair at the back of your neck.
After a few seconds, you both pull back, breathless with dumb smiles on your faces.You start laughing all blushy and happy and Thomas join in, confessing, “I’ve wanted to do that since I first met you”. You’re both so relieved and you realize you could’ve told him a while ago and could’ve been kissing him long ago. You decide to make up for lost time and go back in for another kiss. Your hands find their home in his hair as you pull him in even closer. His plush lips massage your own as your tongue darts out to softly brush against his bottom lip. His hands make their way to your waist, and while you're both distracted by each other's lips and tongues, he fidgets his long fingers around the hem of your shirt, pulling and rubbing at it. 
“You want me to take it off baby?” you offer, noticing the nice feeling of his fingertips on your skin and wanting more. 
He gets somehow even more shy and cute, not even realizing where his hands were, and stares at you blankly for a moment before remembering to answer with a, “yes...please” and a nod. 
His puppy-dog eyes combined with his begging goes straight to your core and your breathing instantly gets heavier, not realizing how much you’d enjoy that. You smirk, keeping eye contact with him while slowly pull your top over your head and throw it to the floor. Your eye contact breaks as he shifts his eyes down to your bare chest. You get a little bashful when you see him staring and attempt to cover yourself with your arms before he grabs your wrists and says, “don’t cover yourself, you’re so beautiful”. 
You smile, feeling slightly more confident in your body seeing the lust in Thomas’s eyes. You lift yourself onto your knees and swing one leg around his hips to straddle him, sitting in his lap. You go back to kissing his lips before trailing them down to his neck, feeling his stubble scratching against your lips. His hands are hesitant and he doesn’t quite know where to place them so you help him decide. You take his big hands into your own and bring them to your newly revealed breasts, pressing them down and encouraging him to explore and play with them however he wants. He likes the little whimper he hears when his nimble fingers brush against your nipples so he does it again. Your lips make their way to the base of his neck and graze your teeth over the sensitive spot, hearing Thomas moan in your ear. 
You raise your head to look him in the eyes and see how flushed he’s become and just how pretty he looks in your arms. “Do you want to take this to my bedroom?” you ask. He nods his head and you both smile, getting up to walk together hand in hand. You can’t seem to wipe the smile off your face as you realize you finally get to spend every night in bed with Thomas now.
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nikethestatue · 3 years ago
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La Dolce Vita
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Summary: Elain Archeron and Azriel - in love, in lust, in Italy
Modern AU *slight TOG crossover. If you read my stuff, you know it’s LONG
Warnings: bad language and THIS IS NSFW (not kidding, this is a story, not just sex, but there is a LOT of explicit material here. You can still read the story, but if you are sensitive or underage, skip the naughty bits)
Comments are always appreciated/wanted/needed. Anon or not, just do it! Obviously, reblogs are appreciated. 
Part I (Flowers)
 La Vie En Rose
De l'homme auquel j'appartiens (Of the man to whom I belong)  Quand il me prend dans ses bras Il me parle l'a tout bas (He speaks to me softly) Je vois la vie en rose (And I see life in pink) Il me dit des mots d'amour (He speaks words of love to me) Des mots de tous les jours (They are every day words) Et ça m' fait quelque chose (And they do something to me) Il est entré dans mon coeur (He has entered into my heart) Une part de bonheur (A bit of happiness) Dont je connais la cause (That I know the cause of) C'est lui pour moi (It's only him for me) Moi pour lui dans la vie (And me for him, for life)
Now
Riding in a Ferrari, being enveloped in its supple, buttery leather, gulping in the cypress and cedar-scented air of Tuscany was everything that Elain Archeron had ever wanted. She never knew that this is what she wanted, because riding in very fast, very expensive, sleek Italian cars wasn’t on her ‘fantasy radar’, but now that she was in one, she suddenly came to the realization that this was perhaps one of the best experiences of her life.
The whole thing, so far, has been the best experience of her life.
Well…maybe not the best-best.
Her happiness was deeply intertwined with and caused by the man in the driver seat of the said Ferrari—Azriel. Azriel Archeron, as he loved calling himself. Even if this wasn’t his last name, he preferred using it over his family name, for a variety of personal reasons. There was nothing better, more sublime, more beautiful and more loving than Azriel. The perfect male specimen, if she could say so herself. No one would argue with her assessment either.
Elain
 They were introduced by her sister’s then-boyfriend Cass, who was giving her a lift one afternoon, and then suggested that they stop by Azriel’s car atelier, because he needed to pick something up.
Elain’s heard of the mysterious Azriel from her sisters, both of whom had claimed that he was the most handsome man that either one of them had ever seen. Elain chuckled at the exuberant praise, doubting its truthfulness. There was no such thing as the ‘most handsome’ man. Beauty was in the eyes of the beholder.
She wasn’t sure what a car atelier was, and when Cassian pulled up to a modern-looking building, she said that she’d stay in the car and wait.
“Come on, petal, don’t be shy,” Cassian urged her, holding the car door open for her in a way that indicated that she’d have to get out and follow him.
They entered the foyer, a vast space with racing stripes painted on the polished cement floor, and a sea of model cars dropping from the ceiling. Behind a wall of glass, Elain spied a row of gorgeous cars, none of which were familiar to her. Some unique European models, fit for James Bond’s consumption. There were also neat antique cars, probably from the 50s. She immediately had visions of Grace Kelly and Cary Grant riding in one of these along the Riviera coast.
“What’s this place?” she inquired, looking around at the mid-century modern building that resembled a spaceship.
“This is Az’s baby,” Cass explained vaguely. “Conceived, conceptualized, restored, outfitted—all by the brilliant mind of one Azriel Bagarat.”
“Are you bragging?”
A deep, sensual voice, that could only be called ‘midnight’ sounded behind them, and Cassian’s handsome, tanned face broke in a mischievous smile. “Only about you, brother!”
When Elain turned around, her breath was knocked out from her lungs.
She didn’t know that it was possible, to be actually stunned by someone’s beauty, but there she stood, gaping, feeling the world slow and move in a different manner for a few moments.
Standing at a towering 6”4 or so, the man was at least as tall as Cassian, and Cassian was the tallest man Elain’d ever met. She was just as muscular, but not as bulky. Clad in all black, from expensive, well-tailored Diesel jeans, to a soft t-shirt that stretched over his sharply cut torso, emphasizing the thick muscles of his arms and shoulders, and the narrow waist, true to her sisters’ word, this Azriel was simply exquisite.
Cassian draped his heavy arm around her shoulders and nudged her forward, just a bit, and said,
“Petal, say hello! This is my brother, Azriel. Az, this is my soon-to-be-sister-in-law, the one and only Elain Archeron.”
At the words ‘sister-in-law’ Elain whipped her head to Cassian, who grinned maniacally at her, nodding and answering her silent question.
“When? What are you talking about?” she exclaimed, Azriel momentarily forgotten. “What do you mean? You’ve only been seeing each other for like three months?!?”
“Baby girl, I don’t need three years to decide…Nes is Nes and she is the one for me.”
He shrugged with his usual ease, acting like they were discussing the weather or a good burger that he just ate.
“If Nes hears even a whiff of this, I will know it’s you, petal, and well, I am not sure what I will do,” he decided upon reflection, but then pleaded, “please, don’t tell her. This one,” he nodded towards Azriel, who was standing still, green eyes peeled to Elain, “I can trust. He hardly ever talks,”
“That’s because you talk for all of us,” noted Azriel with a smirk.
Elain chuckled, and turned back to face him.
He extended his hand to her, with an odd, tentative movement, and when she looked down, she saw old, mottled scars that covered his palm and part of his wrist and forearm. A vintage Patek Phillipe on his wrist.
“Beautiful,” she murmured, and he gave her a surprised look, unsure of what she was referring to.
“It’s always a pleasure to meet another Archeron sister,” he said with a soft smile, which made Elain lose her ability to speak for a good few moments, because she was finally able to take in that face that defied description. The sharp cheekbones and the mesmerizing amber and emerald eyes, almond-shaped and slanted hinted at a varied heritage, and unfairly, the man also possessed a perfect nose, and a full, sensuous mouth. He was the very definition of tall, dark, and handsome, with skin of burnished bronze, which was so in contrast to his bright eyes and raven-black hair, cut in a fashionable undercut. The physique, as she already noted, quickly skimming over the body, matched the face.
“Yes, me too,” she said stupidly.
Graceful, like a courtier, he offered her his arm and said,
“Would you like me to show you around?”
She didn’t want to be impolite, though she suddenly felt sweaty and nervous, and completely out of her league. But she threaded her hand through his arm and lightly squeezed the firm, alarmingly thick bicep.
“Thank you,” she mumbled.
She wasn’t sure what she was thinking him for, so she added, “yes, I’d love to see it.”
“Why haven’t we met?” he inquired, those green eyes watching her with such intensity that she felt almost undressed, bared under the gaze. It wasn’t unpleasant, because it wasn’t lascivious, and he didn’t strike her as someone who’d be disrespectful to women.
“I’ve been busy for the past half a year,” she explained.
“Doing what?”
They walked down the wide passage, past all the cars, which Azriel pointed out with a wave of his scarred hand, and dropped names like Pagani, BMW I8, Bugatti Divo, Bugatti Centodieci, Lamborghini Veneto, Koenigsegg CCXR Trevita and so forth. Elain might not have known a ton about cars, but she was not so unaware not to know that a Bugatti and a Lambo were expensive cars.
Cassian fell behind, gawking at the display.
“I was opening my own business,” Elain said, her head thrown back, looking at an entire toy racetrack mounted to the ceiling, with cars zooming by, and somehow, not falling on patrons’ heads.
“What sort of business?”
“Flowers,” she said absently, once they reached another space—a two story-restaurant, bar, and a patio outside as well.
“Flowers?”
“Oh, a flower shop,” she explained at last. Then muttered, awed, “this is really incredible!”
“A car enthusiast?” he smirked.
She didn’t know how it happened, but somehow, her hand migrated from the crook of his arm to his hand, and now, they walked along the walls lined with Ferrari posters, memorabilia and expensive everything. Walking and holding hands.
“I wouldn’t call myself one,” she admitted, “but I find cars aesthetically pleasing…Never got to ride in anything fancier than a Mercedes or a Lexus,”
“Well, we should remedy that at once!” he decided easily and then said, “pick you up on Friday at seven?”
That sobered her up a bit and she turned to face him. They stopped at the long, chrome-lined bar, and he said, “An espresso?”
“Um,”
But before she could respond, he was behind the counter, playing with a very fancy coffee machine that required a PhD to operate with all the levers and hooks and buttons, and in a few minutes, he poured her a tiny cup of coffee, thick with natural foam, and heady with its enticing scent.
He chugged his own in one go and she followed him, gulping her espresso in two sips. It was better than anything she’d ever drunk in her life.
“Like a date?” she finally asked, truly confused by the offer.
“Would you like it to be a date?” he leaned on the bar, biceps flexing, his arms covered in tattoo sleeves that reached all the way to his fingers. They were quite beautiful, the tattoos, the placement and the design, and Elain recognized the style, since Cassian and Rhysand wore the same kinds of tattoos, if not so extensive.
“Did you draw these?” she asked bluntly, touching her finger to a thick snaking black line, which was shaded with cobalt.
He looked down, at her hand and his arm and nodded, following her finger with his eyes.
“I did. For the three of us. When we made Navy Seals,”
“You are a Seal, too?” she exclaimed.
He smiled and nodded, “Well, we all grew up in foster care—not all, Cass and I,”
“I heard,”
“Until Rhys’s parents adopted us. But we weren’t the…best of boys,” he chortled, “so to get our heads straight, we were sent to the Navy after school. We figured we’d only stay a bit, but we stayed for a while.”
“So, you are retired?”
“We are vets,”
“How old are you?” she blurted. Then blushed and said, “I am sorry. I am usually not so impolite,”
He laughed, “I figured. But that’s alright. I’ll tell you on Friday, though. If you don’t mind?”
“I mean, I don’t mind,” she murmured, her eyes dropping to her espresso cup, “but,”
“How about this—I take you on a drive in one of these fancy cars—and then you can brag to everyone that you’d driven in a,”
He paused and rubbed his chin,
“Any preference?”
“For what?”
“What car you’d like to go in?”
“I don’t know,”
“Throw something at me,” he urged, eyes glinting with feral delight.
Elain, blush deepening, finally said, “Do you have a Ferrari? I’ve always wanted to drive in a Ferrari.”
“Ahhh, a Ferrarista at heart!” he nodded with approval, folding his arms on his chest, “stick with the classic and the best. And yes, gorgeous, I do have a Ferrari or two.”
Gorgeous.
Azriel
The girl who’d arrived with Cassian, was not Nesta, but there was something vaguely familiar about her. The girl who’d arrived with Cassian was the most gorgeous creature that Azriel had ever seen. Gorgeous and completely unaware.
Women like her, if they were smart and cunning and ambitious, used their beauty for all things good and terrible. But this exquisite creature that Cassian was so blatantly hugging and teasing wasn’t one of those women. Azriel was all too familiar with the types—the maneaters, who hounded him like sharks. He was wealthy, and good-looking, and a decent person, if not exactly a saint. He hobnobbed with celebrities who came to order his cars, which he designed and outfitted based on their specifications and desires.
He was finnicky when it came to taste though. No matter how much rappers asked him to clad their Maybach in gold or some vapid Gucci print, no matter how many heiresses pouted and asked for a bubblegum or Barbie-pink Ferraris, he did not betray the essence and soul of the vehicle. Modify, define, sharpen, stylize—he did it all with precision and skill which was unparalleled. But Azriel Bagarat was known for rejecting even the juiciest of offers, if the request did not coincide with his aesthetic or the history of the car.
He was at his shop—that’s what he called it, though atelier sounded infinitely better and more expensive—that afternoon, knowing that Cassian was going to drop by and select a car for his grandiose proposal to Nesta. There was some concern that Cassian would not fit his 6”5 form into an Aston Martin or a Bentley, so they needed to make sure that the car was appropriate for the occasion and the occupant. Cass insisted on a British vehicle, feeling that Nesta would like something classic and timeless. So be it.
What Azriel did not expect to see that Tuesday afternoon was a girl--because he hesitated to call her a ‘woman’, since she looked so lovely and perfect and innocent--who took his breath away.
His breath had been taken away only once before, by Rhys’s cousin, who strolled like a ray of sunshine into their broken lives.
However, Morrigan chose Cassian. And then Cassian promptly impregnated her, causing a great discontent and strife between everyone. Morrigan, or rather Morgana d’Adda, though she anglicized her name, even if Morrigan d’Adda sounded funny, was just about disavowed by her family for tumbling, and being so stupid and blind as to get knocked up by a hulking nobody mulatto, as her father Keir called Cassian. Rather, sneered, at Cassian.
Even if Azriel didn’t impregnate anybody, he somehow got looped into the family bullshit and once he and Cassian turned 18, they were both shipped off to the navy. To the dismay of the entire Darling clan, Rhys followed them, tossing away his guaranteed admittance to Brown. An Ivy League school for rich stupid heirs. Only Rhys wasn’t stupid. Neither was Cassian a hulking nobody mulatto. And Azriel wasn’t just the ‘fucking weird kid, who might be a serial killer’. They served and they passed the insane Navy Seal training, and they proved themselves.
Nowadays, Cassian now ran security for the Darling conglomerate, while Rhys took over the reins when his father was killed in a car accident. Azriel found his own path, though the association with the Darling name certainly helped his exposure and in building relationships and meeting all the right people. And meeting all the women. The three brothers had gone through their share of wild times, but in the past 3 years, things began to calm down for them.
It began with Rhys meeting Feyre Archeron at an art gallery, where she was exhibiting some of her pieces. Azriel had tugged along with Rhys to see the exhibit, because Rhys was looking for some art for his new office, and he trusted Azriel’s taste and knowledge, and wanted a second pair of eyes.
Rhys followed Feyre like a dog throughout the evening—Azriel was there to witness the pathetic display—and then they ended up at a bar, doing shots and feeding Feyre virgin Cosmos, since she wasn’t even 21 yet. They went to some dance club, Azriel playing the third-wheel and ‘chaperone’, though by the end of the night, Rhys and Feyre disappeared together and weren’t heard from for the next three days.
… “What if he killed her?” proposed Cassian for 100th time, pacing back and forth, running his fingers through his long black hair. “Or what if she killed him?”
“I thought that I was the serial killer among the three of us,” drawled Azriel, sprawled on a sofa, watching a game. He wasn’t as concerned, having seen Rhys dripping with intense lust at the sight of the brown-haired teen. It was unusual, since at that time Rhys was almost 25, and Feyre only 19, and the three of them typically tried to avoid teenagers like the plague. But Rhysand Darling seemed genuinely enthralled.
“No, you are the guy with the sex dungeon,” corrected Cassian.
Azriel rolled his eyes, “serial killer with a sex dungeon, huh? Sounds like an interesting story. Alas, much as I’d like to, I don’t have a sex dungeon.”
“Aren’t you building one? In that new garage of yours?” Cassian shrugged.
“Only cars. No sex toys,” sighed Azriel, looking like that might have been an omission on his part.
“Gents, I think I am in love!” the door burst open and a wild-eyed Rhys appeared, his normally pristine hair in disarray, his cheeks flushed, wearing only a white t-shirt and jeans.
“Where the fuck were you for three days?” growled Cassian, showing considerable relief at the sight of his brother.
“Falling in love,” crooned Rhys, falling into a chair, a stupid, dazed look on his face.
“You look like Audrey Hepburn in ‘Sabrina’,” noted Azriel.
“I feel like Audrey Hepburn!” exclaimed Rhys. “She is perfect. Feyre is perfect.”
What the fuck? Mouthed Cassian in confusion.
“Feyre Darling,” whispered Rhys with delight, eyes closed, tasting the sound of the name on his tongue. “Feyre Archeron Darling. Or Feyre Darling Archeron?”
“You alright there, buddy?” Cassian frowned. “A little early to be talking last names?”
“She’ll be my wife,” announced Rhysand with his usually unwavering confidence.
And that was that.
Now, the ‘society wedding of the year’ was coming up in three months. Rhysand Darling and Feyre Archeron, the toast of the town, the power couple, the young and beautiful billionaires.
 Now, Azriel stood in front of the most stunning female he’d ever seen and for once, he felt like Rhys. His brain turned into a soupy mess, and he found himself tongue-tied and concentrating was suddenly difficult. He wanted to be a gracious host and a confident, formidable man, who had a reputation to uphold—though he wasn’t sure if Elain was aware of his reputation—but inside, he was a mess. All his insecurities, doubts and self-hate rose to the surface at once, and he hesitated to extend his hand in greeting to her. His mangled, horrible, revolting hand, which was sullied beyond its extensive scars. A hand that killed, and touched way too women, some of whom he probably shouldn’t have been touching at all.
“Beautiful,” she murmured softly, that gorgeous blush spreading over her rose-petal cheeks.
He was so taken aback by the comment, he was nearly flabbergasted when she didn’t pull away, didn’t frown or grimace in disgust, didn’t display any of the usual signs of revulsion that most women did when they saw his hands. Perhaps it was the Patek Phillipe, he tried to convince himself, but deep down he knew—she called his scars ‘beautiful’.
And then she took his arm, her hand strong, surprisingly calloused, if light, and small.
And from that moment on, Azriel became obsessed with that touch.
His body heated and as he led her to the bar, and showed her around his pride and joy, watching for the subtle reactions, for the gleam of wonder and appreciation in her eyes, he couldn’t release…wouldn’t release her hand from his. She asked questions, took in all the memorabilia and gawked at the cars, and then the guest area, and finally, when he sat her down at the bar and made her a coffee, he stepped closer. Trying not to scare her, or seem obnoxious, he couldn’t help invading her personal space, and stood next to her, pretending to take interest in his drink, while hoping that her arm would brush against his own. Skin to skin.
She didn’t pull away. Didn’t shy away.
He didn’t expect himself to ask her on what amounted to a date, because he wasn’t even sure how dates worked. His usual ammo consisted of a brief introduction, an even quicker seduction and then a hook up. That’s how he liked it. He preferred no-strings-attached approach to his involvement with women, and it’s been working rather well for him. He never had to sleep with anyone in the same bed, he never had to make anyone breakfast, there was no room for idle chitchat, and usually no second or third dates. It was so easy.
This fucking girl, with her caramel-brown eyes, her golden-amber curls, her soft lips and that damn blush on her cheeks—she was driving him veritably insane with her unique mix of immaculate beauty and a friendly, almost naïve, strangely innocent disposition. And he wanted to go on a date with her. Without an ulterior motive, because at it stood right now, he didn’t care to even get her in bed. That would come later. He was absolutely determined to have this happen later. But…later.
Cassian
“Alrighty, I think I am going with the Bentley,” Cassian sidled to the bar, and interrupted.
If Azriel was annoyed, he didn’t show it.
Cassian spied them at last, making his way through the cavernous entrails of the garage, with all its gleaming cars, the beautiful patrons who were discussing options with no-less beautiful sales people,  and even on-premises tattoo shop, which specialized in Azriel’s sketches and catered to those who didn’t have money to actually outfit their Bugatti to their heart’s desire, but could at least claim that they got a Bagarat tattoo inked on their skin.
Elain and Azriel were standing side by side, somehow melding together nicely, her pretty dress and high-heeled sandals and piles of loose hair in drastic contrast with Azriel’s all-black ensemble, his massive height and the span of his shoulders. But she did not balk from him. Cassian also noticed that she didn’t react to the scars, which Azriel was very self-conscious about, and seemed genuinely interested in the garage.
It was inevitable that the two would eventually meet, especially with the wedding coming up and all the wedding related brouhaha. However, Cassian wanted to have the dibs on gloating down the line, and reminding the two of them, forever, about how it was he who introduced them. Yes, Azriel fucked a lot of models and rich girls, for whom he, strangely, was a riff on a ‘bit of rough’, while being hardly ‘rough’ at all. Azriel was elegant and possessed excellent taste in everything, and he probably had the best manners out of the lot of them. But the tattoos, the cars, the aura of brooding mystery about him, and his generally quiet ways were like honey to the throngs of women who lusted after him.  
About Azriel, Cassian had no doubts.
Cassian knew Azriel probably better than anyone alive, and even that wasn’t saying much, but he was very aware of Azriel’s ‘secret type’ of woman. Basically, it was Elain. Everything about Elain Azriel would like—of that Cassian was certain. Elain was the elusive ‘ideal woman’ of whom Azriel dreamt, but never actually pursued. Slightly unconventional, soft, kind, generous—lovely, would be a good word—Elain was everything that Azriel never had with any other women.
Cassian could already see the hunger and flicker of completely besotted adoration in Azriel’s normally cold eyes.
He was less certain about Elain, having never seen her with a boyfriend. When he had asked Nesta about Elain’s situation, Nesta shrugged and said that Elain was beautiful, but naïve, dreamy and rarely dated.
“A Bentley it is then,” Azriel turned around, though his elbow still touched Elain’s arm. “You’ll fit, big boy?”
Elain giggled.
“I am not Rowan,” Cassian muttered. “I am human sized.”
“Only just.”
“You are the same height,” Cassian reminded him coolly.
“I am a little more human-shaped too.”
Cassian rolled his eyes and said, “Come on, petal. While I love to stand here and listen to his insults, we gotta go.”
Elain’s face dropped into a sad frown only for a second, but she recovered immediately. Cassian noticed it, nevertheless. His petal of a girl didn’t want to leave his brother’s side.
“Bye Azriel,” she said, taking his hand in hers again, of her own volition, and squeezing it lightly. “It was very nice to meet you.”
“Likewise,” he said. His fingers wrapped over her palm, and he said, “I’ll walk you two out.”
So, his brooding brother didn’t want to release the newfound petal of a girl.
How interesting.
Once they were in Cassian’s Jeep, Elain looked out the window, a dreamy look on her face.
“Oh-oh,” Cassian chuckled, as he navigated the narrow NYC streets.
“What?”
“I know that look,” he winked.
“What look?” she frowned.
“The ‘oh gods, Azriel is so handsome!’ look. Oh, he is so gorgeous look. Oh, he is so sexy look.”
“He is handsome,” she agreed blandly, knowing that arguing would be silly.
“I hope that you gave him your number,” he said. “Because if you didn’t, I will.”
“It’s none of your business,” she crossed her arms on her chest, and Cass howled loudly.
“You are welcome, by the way,”
“You are ridiculous,” she muttered. “I don’t know how Nesta tolerates you!”
“Oh, Nes tolerates me and then some,” and winked again.
Now
“My love, slow down a bit,” Elain requested, as the road zigzagged among rows of cypresses.
“I thought that you wanted to make it to Florence before traffic hit?” Azriel squeezed her fingers and brought her hand to his lips.
“Seeing that we are already running late, we might as well enjoy the drive,” she shrugged.
A honey-coloured strand of her hair fell out from under the gauzy wrap that she wore around her head a-la Grace Kelley.
“Good.”
“Good what?” she turned her face to him and knocked him out all over again. By the Mother she was superb in every way, and she was his. He couldn’t believe his absurd luck. Things like these didn’t happen to him. Elain was not meant to be his. Yet, here she was, his lovely gentle girl, who loved him with incomprehensible passion and devotion. His.
The hefty, borderline outlandish ring on her finger was proof of that.
He’d worked hard on that ring, designing it himself, wanting to incorporate everything that he loved about her and about the two of them into the design. The result was this stunner that glittered madly in the Italian sun, sitting on her manicured finger, the skin of her arm kissed by a golden tan.
His beautiful girl loved flowers, and she loved him, so her ring, in its platinum setting was a remarkable rose, reflecting Elain’s green thumb and life’s work. He selected the diamond himself, and the amethysts that comprised the petals, even the tiny onyx inserts, to signify him and the black ink of his tattoos. The ring was both extravagant—especially in carats—but intimate as well, a flower that spoke of his eternal love for this woman.
“I am going to take you somewhere, which I think you’d like,” he teased.
“Where?”
“How does lots of flowers sound?”
She smiled. 
Azriel
For gods’ sake, he was nervous. Azriel was not prone to nervousness or panic or discomfort, but this date, or whatever it was, filled him with dread.
He shouldn’t have asked her.
He was stupid and blinded by her beauty, by her deliciously voluptuous body, by the long, slender legs, by her shy, sweet smile. Those blushes. For the love of everything, those fine, adorable, sexy blushes.
She was part of the family network—both of his brothers were now in love with her sisters. It was cliché and unrealistic and unbelievable that she and he would end up in the same boat. Besides, he wasn’t so lucky as to have someone like her accept him. So, he was making a huge fucking mistake. If this was all going to go sour—which inevitably it would, of that he had no doubt—he’d mess up the delicate balance that existed between the Darling, Bagarat and Cavalhe brothers and the Archeron sisters. She’d reject him and then it would be awkward. Awkward for the upcoming wedding, in which he and Elain were supposed to couple up and be together in the wedding party. Rhys said, ‘fuck it’ and asked both him and Cassian to be best men, while Feyre had both of her sisters as maids-on-honour. There was no escaping it. Therefore, it would be awkward for the wedding, and then for Christmas and all the summer BBQs and pool parties and…well, he might just have to find excuses to never attend anything, ever.
But here he was, standing in front of an old-fashioned, cute corner storefront in the Village. Flower displays spilled on the sidewalk, and the windows, along with the marble edifice reminded him of Paris. This was exactly how he’d picture Elain’ store—slightly whimsical, elegant, classic, but modern. Au Nom de la Rose – The Name of the Rose—perfectly appropriate for Elain’s store name.
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She wasn’t waiting for him outside, and he circled the block three times before, by some miracle, finding a parking space and leaving the silver Ferrari, and then made his way back to the store, arriving 4 minutes late, which was completely unacceptable. The store was technically closed at this hour, but he knocked and heard Elain’s voice telling him to come in. Some internal pressure inside of him released at the sound of her voice.
He entered and whistled,
“That’s a lot of flowers!”
Yep, definitely a glamourized 50’s Paris vibe.
“Azriel, I am so sorry, I am not ready,” Elain came from behind the counter, looking a bit frazzled.
“It’s alright I will wait,” he assured her, but she shook her head and said,
“No…I just received a huge order. An emergency order for an anniversary party. Azriel, it’s my biggest order ever!”
“That’s excellent!” he found himself feeling genuinely happy for her, if not for her concerned expression. “What’s up?”
“I…I,” she stumbled. “Feyre or Nesta would usually come and help out if I need them, but Feyre is in LA, and Nesta…” she swallowed, “Nesta is indisposed.”
Nes is on her period and is feeling like crap, read Cassian’s text from earlier today. I am going fishing. Care to join? Or are you busy romancing a certain Archeron sister?
Nesta was indisposed indeed, though Azriel didn’t feel like he needed to know the details.
“It’s a 25th Anniversary, and I have to make 25 bouquets and 15 centerpieces. The couple’s original florist fell through and they contacted me, in a panic, and I agreed,” she babbled, tugging on her long braid nervously. “And it’s for tomorrow,”
“Alright then,” he shrugged, “what’s the problem then? I am here.”
She looked up at him, her gaze both hopeful and confused.
“You? What are you going to do? I am sorry, Azriel, I am so sorry, we’d have to postpone,”
“We’d have to postpone our drive, but I am here. Use me.”
“Use you?”
“Use my body,” he chuckled, and she giggled an amused laugh.
“I appreciate the offer,” and when he thought that she’d continue rejecting his offer of help, she did the right thing and was a smart girl, nodding at last, and said, “will you truly help?”
“I am not a flower expert,”
“I wouldn’t have guessed,” she grinned.
He removed his jacket, rolled up his sleeves and said, “Teach me, Archeron. I am an apt pupil.”
He was. Elain showed him model bouquets and thankfully, he wasn’t dumb or clumsy enough to screw them up, once he began copying the originals.
Night fell, and they ordered pizza and he went to get a bottle of wine from the store across the street.
Sitting on the floor of the store, surrounded by piles of flowers, vases, ribbons and twine, they ate pizza, laughing throughout the evening. She stretched her long, bare legs in front of her, crossing them at the ankles, and he couldn’t get enough—the pretty toes, the pale golden skin and the sexy pink nail polish. He didn’t want to seem like a creep, but he snuck more than a few glances at her feet when she wasn’t looking.
It was well past midnight when they were finally done.
He stretched on the floor and tucked his arm behind his head.
She kneeled above him, at his side, and said, “Azriel, thank you. I can’t, honestly, thank you enough. You saved me. Maybe my business too!”
“I wouldn’t go that far,” he retorted gently, “but this was fun…and educational.”
“How can I repay you?” she asked.
“Well, well,” he drummed his fingers on the floor, pretending to think. “So many possibilities,”
At that, she flushed, and he licked his lips, loving the sight of that pink on her cheeks.
“Let’s make a bargain,” he proposed at last.
“A bargain?” her brow furrowed.
He nodded.
“For my exceptional assistance during your time of trouble and despair, you will agree to an outing with me, of my choosing. To do whatever I want.”
Elain stared at him, biting her plump lower lip.
“Are we going to do something bad?” she finally asked uncertainly.
He grinned and without thinking, cupped her cheek.
She didn’t recoil.
He drew his thumb over her soft skin and she leaned into his palm just a little bit. Gods it felt good. So good. So good to have her so near, so receptive, so unafraid. But he dropped his hand.
“You think I will take you to knock off a couple of 7-11s?”
“Well, if I am entering this death bargain with you, then who the hell knows?” she shrugged.
He laughed, “Death bargain? A little dramatic, are we?”
She was still sitting there, biting her lip, and all he wanted to do was drag his tongue over it. Kiss her large, brown eyes. Fist his hand around the thick mass of her hair, tilt her head and kiss her until she was breathless.
What the hell was wrong with him?
He never acted like this!
He never thought like this.
He was a rational, controlled, some said, cold man.
Not to say that he wasn’t able to find a woman immediately attractive, or want to fuck her, but this was different. This was unknown.
“Fine,” she shrugged.
“Fine?” he repeated, smiling.
“Don’t make me do anything bad,” she warned.
“Wouldn’t dream of it!” he promised. “I wouldn’t lead you astray. But,” he sat up, draping his forearms over his knees, “where do you live? Let me take you home,”
“I can take an Uber,”
He gave her an incredulous look and she nodded without further arguments.
“Where do you live?” he asked, once they were outside, somehow internally thrilled that perhaps, she’d invite him inside. He wouldn’t expect anything, obviously, but it would be nice see where she lived, what her private space looked like. So far, he couldn’t pinpoint her style with any accuracy, an interesting mixture of vintage and modern, of flowers and thorns.
“Just two blocks down,” she said, as she locked up the shop.
He gave her his arm, and it seemed like she almost expected it, because she immediately thrust her hand into the loop and he smiled softly.
The little white shorts and the flowery top did things to him, and he was glad to walk side by side, so to prevent himself from staring at her long legs and her neat, lush ass. He was already a mess over her legs, over her bending and squatting in front of him for the past four-five hours.
It was dark and quiet on the street, and they walked in a comfortable silence, each thinking of something of their own.
And then,
Elain sprawled face down on the pavement.
She cried out, landing on her knees on the asphalt, just barely having the time to brace herself on her hand, and ripping the skin of her palm.
Azriel was instantly on his knees in front of her.
Tears glistened in her eyes. Possibly from pain, because as she flipped on her butt, they saw that her knees were torn and bleeding, as was her palm, or maybe from shock, as well as embarrassment.
“Shhh,” he cooed gently to her, “are you okay?”
She shook her head. A lonely tear spilled from her eyes.
“Tissues?” he asked quickly, surveying the damage. Bruises were already blossoming on her scuffed kneecaps, all around the wounds.
She wordlessly handed him her bag, allowing him to rummage through it and he found a packet of old tissues, which he gingerly pressed to her bleeding knees.
“My ankle hurts,” she muttered, reaching down to inspect it.
“Let me,” he took her legs and looked over her ankle. She glared questioningly at him, still in some sort of stupor, not understanding what had occurred, and why she was now sitting on the ground, bleeding.
“You broke your heel,” he nodded to her foot and she glanced down, finally realizing that her heel caught in a crack in the pavement. The impact was so strong, it actually fully detached from the sole of the shoe.
“I am sorry,” she mumbled.
“You should be,” he chuckled, “you gave me quite a scare. I thought you were shot; you went down so quickly!”
She pushed at his arm, half laughing, and have crying.
“Stop making me laugh!” she ordered, sniffling and giggling. “Auuu, it hurts...”
He was lightly pressing on her ankle, and then said, “it’s just twisted. You’ll need ice, but it should be okay…”
“Ok, Doctor Azriel,” she even rolled her eyes slightly and he laughed, flicking her nose.
“I am trained on how to treat combat wounds and catastrophic field injuries, I’ll have you know,” he said and then gave her his hand. “On your feet, soldier! Let me see if you can stand.”
Moaning and groaning, she managed to stand up, but putting any weight on her foot caused a yelp to escape her lips.
“Alright, come on now,” he stepped and opened his arms, “jump in.”
“Jump in where?”
“Jump into my arms, of course.”
“What are you planning to do? Swing me around?”
“I could swing you around, but I was planning on carrying you home, and then making you an ice pack and disinfecting all your cuts.”
Without waiting for her to decide, he scooped her off the ground and she gasped, and he wasn’t sure what the little huff meant.
“But it’s like two blocks!” she protested feebly, and unconvincingly, “I am heavy.”
“Ooohhh,” he groaned dramatically, hefting her to his chest, as they started off. “Sooo, so heavy!”
“I am the fattest of my sisters,” she argued, and even in the darkness he saw that she was blushing realizing how silly her comment was.
“Well, considering that Nesta is like 90 lbs. and Feyre 110 lbs., that’s not saying much,” he assured her.
She was soft and warm in his arms, and when, without prompting, she wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned into him, he felt utterly at peace. Because the pieces of them fit. She fit him.
Blood still dripping, and her arms thrown over his neck, Azriel walked steadily, cradling her to his chest, until they finally reached a pre-War building, and she said, “There is no elevator.”
“Don’t tell me you are on the 6th floor!” he laughed, looking up.
“The third.”
“Guess I will have to haul the fattest of the Archeron sisters to the 3rd floor!” he sighed, and she smacked his arm, protesting,
“You can’t say that!”
He was laughing and she began to laugh as well.
“You said it first,” he reminded her.
 Her apartment was small, but she’d arranged the furniture in such a way that everything seemed more spacious, and orderly, without unnecessary frills. Mostly grays, turquoise, cobalt and creamy-white. For some reason, he thought that there would be much more pink and general fluff. This though, this he liked.
He sat her down on the sofa and went to the bathroom to find bandages and plasters and other items. She called out from her spot, telling him where to find things and he finally emerged and began working on all her wounds.
“Haven’t lost a soldier yet,” he told her with a chuckle. He kneeled in front of her, and his touch was firm, but surprisingly gentle, as he thoroughly washed every scuff and tear, and then disinfected and decided what needed bandages and what didn’t.
Elain remained mostly silent throughout the procedure, watching him from under her lashes.
“You are nice,” she said suddenly.
He looked at her and smirked.
“Not with anyone.”
“Everyone just says how handsome you are,” she lay her head on the back cushion, watching him. He gave her a painkiller, and it was making her drowsy. It was also late. She rarely stayed up this late. “But you are also very nice,” she added.
Elain
She woke up that morning, and was struck by the unfamiliar environment. And pain.
Her knees ached and screamed and hurt, as did her palm.
Light poured through the windows; the curtains still open.
She found herself on her sofa, haphazardly covered by a throw, and with her legs resting on Azriel’s lap.
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Fuck.
Fuck.
He was here. With her.
He never left after last night’s debacle.
She was a clumsy cow, as always, but the incident was unusually embarrassing, even for her. She always spilled or dropped stuff on herself, tripped, stumbled, and fell on her ass at inopportune times, but last night…By the Mother!
The man was gosh darn saint. Not only did she screw up their evening plans, made him work and make bouquets with her, which, probably wasn’t the most exciting thing for him to spend the evening on, but she also almost ate the pavement, and then he carried her for half a mile! And cared for her when they came here. And spent, what must have been a horribly uncomfortable night in a half-seated position, with her, no doubt, pushing at him with her feet.
Yep, she was never going to see him again.
Good going, Elain. Fine job you did of this ‘relationship’. Now, for the rest of her life, she’d be forced to see him at family gatherings, probably with some stunning model of a wife, and he’d always remember her as the girl who tore her heel on the pavement.
She wanted to cry.
Not that she ever, even for a second, believed that this would go anywhere. Her and Azriel. That wasn’t possible. Things like these didn’t happen to her. She was strange and solitary and even if others claimed that she was pretty, going so far as to call her ‘beautiful’, she never felt like that. When Nesta got mad at her, she’d call her a ‘petty idiot’ and Elain felt like that more frequently than she cared to admit. And Azriel…he was cut from a different cloth. He was…
She looked at his face, still perfect, but ever so slightly relaxed and softened in sleep, his eyelids heavy and enviably long, thick lashes fanned over his golden-brown cheeks. He was funny, with a quick, dry sense of humour, intelligent and interesting, and when they talked last night, she couldn’t get enough! He told her fascinating stories from his time in the Navy, about his dream, which resulted in the creation of his beloved garage. It took him three years to open the place—conceptualize what he wanted, how to deliver it, the items to showcase. The result was not just the ‘garage’, but also the popular bar, and recently, a restaurant as well.
Scarred fingers touched her hand and he opened his eyes.
“Good morning,” he whispered, squinting at her. “How are you? How’s the pain?”
“Azriel,” she murmured, not even knowing how to thank him, but she attempted, “I want to,”
“Pancakes?” he asked eagerly.
She glanced at him with incomprehension.
“May I make you, or us, pancakes?” he proposed. “I’ve been sort of thinking about this all night. How I’d like to make you pancakes,”
“I want to thank,”
He lifted his finger and shook his head,
“No, no. My Italian mother would tell you that you should never thank anyone for providing medical help,”
“Why?”
“According to my psychotically superstitious Italian side of the family, the remedy or healing won’t take, if you offer thanks. Imagine, I was forbidden from ever saying ‘thank you’ to a doctor,”
She chuckled.
“So, you are Italian?”
“Mom’s side is half Neapolitan and half from Lazio—near Rome.”
He sat up and rolled his neck.
“Can I at least say that I am sorry that you had to be so uncomfortable and sleep on the couch?” she asked.
“It’s alright. Not the best night I’ve ever had, but not the worst one either. The company was nice too,” and he patted her legs.
A tiny flare of hope lit in her belly.
But she didn’t allow herself to have it take root.
Maybe not until he gathered her legs together on his lap and drew his fingers up and down her calf.
“But really, how is the pain?” he asked at last, watching her with his intense, warm eyes. The eyes didn’t warm frequently, it seemed, but when they looked at her—
He was different somehow.
Kind. Approachable.
“It’s fine,” she waved her hand, not wanting to burden him any longer with her dumb injuries.
Those long, scarred fingers glided over her skin, and a small smirk touched his lips, “May I kiss it better?”
She blinked at him.
“I hear that I am very good at making pain go away,” he added proudly, and then, his lips descended on her scuffed and bruised knees. She kissed each one, tenderly, and then took her hand and brought it to his lips, and pressed his mouth to the inside of her palm. Her breath hitched and she stared at him, wide-eyed, as he watched her, unblinking, gaging every minute reaction. He kissed her hand, inside and then out, and then kissed the other, even though it wasn’t injured, and then returned to her knees and kissed them again.
At last, “Better?” he asked.
She only mooed incoherently.
…Azriel, by the stove, flipping pancakes was the sexiest thing Elain had ever seen in her life.
Clad in dark slacks, in his white shirt from last night, with sleeves rolled up and the tattoo sleeves on full display, he stood in her kitchen, barefoot and flipped pancakes like a pro.
“You cook too?” she asked incredulously.
He laughed.
“Too? In addition to what?”
“I don’t know,” she was still perched on the sofa, like an invalid, but after she washed her face and brushed her hair, he ordered her to sit and not make unnecessary moves. “Everything?”
“My repertoire is limited, when it comes to the kitchen, but what I know how to make, I make well. Cassian is a better cook.”
“Cass?” she smiled.
“Nesta is lucky to have him,” Azriel added, somewhat wistfully.
Elain looked at him and nodded. “I think so too.”
“He is a good man. Maybe the best man I’ve ever known. Where my own family failed, he stepped in, though he is a year younger than me. But he taught me…how to be. Accepted me. Unconditionally. Taught me how to swim, how to ride a bike, how to fight.”
“And you?”
“I? I helped him with his reading,” Azriel rubbed his chin, his stance a little tense.
She didn’t say anything, waiting to see if he felt like sharing more.
“It was neglected,” he said at last. “His reading and writing. So, we sat together, late at night, at our foster parents’ house and read.”
He then asked, “coffee?”
The moment of reminiscing was over, and Elain did not press.
She nodded to one of the cupboards and he pulled out a tub of coffee and grimaced.
“This is what you drink?”
“Hey, it’s good coffee! I buy it at Trader Joe’s!” she laughed defensively.
“Baby, we are drinking Italian coffee in this house,” he decided, and there was no arguing with that logic.
 That’s how Elain became Azriel’s ‘baby’.
In their house, they always drank Italian coffee.
 Twenty minutes later, there was a knock on the door.
“Thanks Nu,” Azriel greeted a lanky, very thin, very tall girl, who handed him two packages and then winked at him and disappeared wordlessly.
“My assistant, Nuala,” he explained, showing Elain two packages of Lavazza coffee. “This will do for now.”
Elain hobbled to the small butcher block island that she’d restored from a console that she found at a flea market. “You text someone and they just appear?”
He grinned and shrugged innocently.
“I know a guy.”
“Of course you do. Are you in the mafia?”
“First of all, rude,” he placed a plate of chocolate chip pancakes in front of her and then poured her coffee, “second of all, I just know a guy.”
“Who knows where to buy Lavazza on a Saturday morning?” she wondered, tucking into the pancakes.
“I have a network of spies,” he winked at her.
She sipped on the coffee, perhaps not as good a cup as he’d made her at his garage, but glorious nevertheless. “Are you in the CIA?”
“Not in the mafia or the CIA. Just a lowly car guy.”
“Uh-uh.”
They toasted with their coffee cups and Azriel said, “not bad for a first date. Blood and flowers. Very romantic.”
It was that morning, that sunny Saturday morning, over a plate of pancakes and some Italian coffee that Elain Archeron fell in love.
She fell in love completely.
Utterly.
Irreversibly.
And forever.
Now
Azriel turned off to some side road and how he knew where to go, Elain had no idea, but she just enjoyed the scents and warmth of the day.
“You know,” she laughed. “We are literally under the Tuscan sun right now!”
“All your dreams are coming true,” he ran a loving hand over her bare arm and she tore her gaze from the scenery around her.
“My dreams came true when I met you,” she confessed. “That was the day.”
“So easily impressed!” he teased, but she saw that her words touched something in him. His face softened with happiness.
“Az, slow down,” she whispered, an almost painful pull to kiss him spreading over her. “I want to kiss you.”
He looked at her, eyes hidden behind his Aviator shades, but slowed down and she leaned towards him and planted her mouth on his cheek.
“Lips,” she murmured with audible desperation.
“Baby, I don’t want to bust up this nice Ferrari,” he laughed. “And you, who is riding in it.”
Pouting, she ordered, “Then pull over so I can kiss you!”
He laughed louder, throwing his head back, his gorgeous tanned neck annoyingly desirable.
She wanted to bite his vein, lick the salty skin of his neck, and then sink her teeth into his shoulder. Elain was a biter. And a scratcher. Good thing that Azriel was a benevolent lover, who didn’t care if she left his body marked with her love, and didn’t mind the pain. In fact, he encouraged it.
His heavy brown hand lay on her knee, under the hem of her summer dress and he said,
“Why don’t I do something nice for you… then you can kiss me…”
“But I want to kiss you now,” she frowned playfully.
His hand slid a little higher, up her bare thigh, and he pressed his scarred palm into her thin, tender skin, rubbing slowly, indulgently. This was just as much for her as it was for him.
She threw her head into the back of the seat, eyes closed.
Until she yelped softly, when his wicked hand slipped higher and higher, pushing her dress up as well.
“Azriel Bagarat,” she murmured, “what am I going to do with you? And your love for public nudity and lovemaking…”
He shrugged oh so innocently and said, “firstly, it’s Archeron to you, and,”
“Not just yet,” she wiggled her ring-clad hand in front of him, “not until we got the paper and all, to make us official,”
They rolled their eyes at the same time and then laughed.
“And secondly, who can blame me?” he leaned and kissed her shoulder. “You are very hot. And I sort of want to fuck you all the time.”
His long, very experienced fingers made their way even higher, until he drew them along the cotton of her underwear, lightly pressing into the cleft, teasing ever so lightly. She shifted against the fingertips, her thighs falling apart in silent encouragement.
Elain was a giving and a receptive lover, innately knowing what he wanted and accommodating both of their needs thoughtfully, and easily.
“What do you want, baby?” he murmured.
“To kiss you,” she insisted stubbornly.
He huffed his amusement, and then pushed his finger deeper, firmer against the cotton, whispering,
“How about this?”
“This is nice, I suppose,”
“Only nice?” he withdrew his finger in warning and she grabbed his wrist, and thrust it back in place.
“Maybe a little better than ‘nice’, huh?” he teased.
“A little,” she agreed, gasping when he cupped her fully, swiping his heel of his palm against the length of her folds, feeling the dampness against his skin. Bold, as he always was, he moved the strip of cotton to the side, and hiked up her dress ever higher, exposing her to his exploration.
He snuck a glance at her perfectly peachy, pink pussy, bare and succulent, like a ripe fruit dripping with its sweet juices.
He groaned and then hissed, “I am stopping, right now. I want you coming on my tongue in the next four minutes,”
“So confident, ombre?”
She took to calling him ombre or ‘shadow’, when, early in their relationship, he kept materializing in front of her out of nowhere, stepping out of the shadows. He laughed, but didn’t mind the endearment. What’s more, it became a private thing between the two of them—he’d call her ‘rose’ and she’d call him ‘ombre’. It wasn’t nauseatingly sugary sweet and could be used in public without making people gag. Unlike, for example, the Darlings, who, for whatever reason called each other ‘my darkness’. Or Cassian, who sometimes went with ‘schmoopie’, braving Nesta’s wrath.
Azriel laughed, while incessantly dragging his finger back and forth over the wet slit, without doing much else, and making her gasp and squirm.
“That I can make you come on my tongue in 4 minutes? Fuck yeah! Want me to prove it?”
“Oh, no, no, no,” she shook her head, “you don’t get to just do whatever the hell you want, when you want it. If I don’t get my kiss, you don’t get to,”
“What? Lick your pussy? I feel like the punishment is unreasonable,” he protested.
She gave him a sultry look, a look that only he was privy to, and then murmured, spreading her legs a little wider for him,
“Maybe I want to lick something of yours?” she proposed, her voice husky, pouring like honey over his ear.
“I wouldn’t be opposed,” he choked out, finally parting the soft cushions of her folds and dragging his knuckles over the wet spread of her. The intoxicating scent of her arousal, mixed with the Italian sunshine and the smell of grass, flowers and cypresses was so heady, he almost swerved, stopping only quick enough to grip the steering wheel tightly in his left hand.
Gods, if he was going to make it to their next destination, he would be impressed with himself. But it was close.
Azriel
Elain loved getting fingered. That was the first thing he learned about her sexually—kissing and fingering.
In the privacy of their world, he fingered her constantly.
It was almost an obligation on his part by now, to have her wake up, tucked into his side, while gently, but thoroughly pumping her soft, indescribably tight center. No matter how many times he’d been inside of her, she remained tight, as tight as the first time. That was a blessing, but a curse as well, for all he could typically think about throughout the day, was sinking into that glorious tightness.
When she was finally semi-awake, she rolled on her back and spread her legs in front of him, so he could finger her in earnest. Two fingers first, nice and deep inside of her, as he knelt in front of her and watched her come undone before him. And then, there was always a moment when her eyes flew open, and her back arched, and he slipped the third one in. The plush, warm walls of her sex stretched and pulled to accommodate him, but he went slow and deep, only grazing the sensitive spot in her, making her moan low and begging, the pressure of his hand steady and firm.
She cried and cried into the pillow, head thrown back in utter extasy, her hair a tangled halo about her. She wasn’t permitted to move her hips, his only order in that early-morning game of theirs, therefore she was wholly dependent on him for her pleasure. If she ever did begin a sensual undulation of her hips around his hand, he’d allow her to continue for a few moments, aware that she was lost in her own pleasure, before cruelly yanking his hand out of her.
“Was my girl allowed to do that?” he’d ask simply, and amidst her disappointed panting, her pleading for more, her sweet, innocent “sorry. I am sorry,” she’d beg him to fill her again.
Then she’d lay still, eyes wide and pleading, her little opening vibrating at the loss, before he placed her feet on his shoulders and thrust in her anew. This time, his scarred, rough, brown, inked fingers disappeared in her completely. She buckled and let out a wild moan that reverberated from the very depth of her, because all four fingers were inside, and his thumb finally, finally began a gorgeously slow torment around her clit. She just lay there, tense and unmoving, watching him, the slurping, obscene sounds of his hand inside of her filling the sleepy morning air around them.
Elain came quietly. She moaned and twisted and gasped as he rubbed her clit, but when the waves finally descended upon her, when he felt the tight, silky flesh grip and pump all four of his fingers, which were now pressing up into her perfect spot, the exhale was soft and intimate. Only for him.
Now
“Don’t wreck the car,” Elain muttered, eyes barely open.
“Will this be the second one?” Azriel asked, while Elain wrapped her hand around his wrist and forcefully jammed his hand inside of her.
Four.
Four orgasms daily. That was his promise.
He’d provide her with at least four daily orgasms. So far, he typically exceeded expectations. It wasn’t particularly difficult, because he often played with her at odd times—when they were watching TV, he’d slip a finger onto her clitty and rub her slowly and leisurely, until she melted from the stimulation. She enjoyed it when he bent her over counters or sinks, and sunk his fingers deep and hard into her perpetually ready hole.
Elain, to his complete delight and fascination, was always just a bit aroused. Always, always just a bit wet, just a little damp for him. He’d make an unscheduled stop at her shop and if it was empty, he’d step behind the counter with her, and soon, she’d be splayed over the counter, his hand between her legs. Yes, they’ve been almost caught plenty of times, but Azriel had the ability to disappear into shadows as soon as he sensed someone coming. Sometimes, when someone would walk in the store, Azriel even pretended that he was a customer, buying flowers, watching her patiently, while she got his bouquet ready for him. Never mind that his hand might have been soaked with her slick, or that he smirked, watching her press her thighs together, while she wrapped the flowers, as she avoided eye contact with him, and handed him the bouquet which he’d inevitably bring home for her.
When he was around her, she jokingly complained that she was of constant need for him, and it was his very enviable and pleasant task to soothe the ache inside of her.
 Azriel
Their friends, family, found their relationship perplexing. But Elain kept her sisters firmly at an arm’s length when it came to the discussion of their sex life. No matter how they tried to pry, she gently, but firmly rebuffed them. Nesta complained and said that they were too obsessed with each other. That Elain was too in love and that Azriel was too dependent on Elain’s love for this to be normal. Elain only shrugged and didn’t argue.
 “It’s not normal!” seethed Nesta, watching Elain and Azriel wrapped around each other on the dance floor, Elain’s body shimmying and swaying around her, arms raised in the air, her hips swooshing to the beat, bumping into his pelvis.
“You think they are gonna do it right on the dancefloor?” Cassian contemplated quietly, not sure if this was outside the realm of possibilities.
“He would!” she spat and gulped down her Aperol spritz aggressively. “I am surprised he is not bending her over…more surprised she isn’t agreeing!”
“They never argue,” Cassian nodded.
“They never—never—argue. It’s not normal!”
The way Cassian saw it, as long as the two were happy, he had no right to judge.
Nesta was a hot pepper. Feyre, an apple—solid, tasty, dependable. Elain—whipped cream—a delicious topping over anything, but especially Azriel.
 Nevertheless, the word got around.
One day, Azriel, Rowan and Cassian were sitting in Elain’s flower shop, toiling diligently over a huge order of flowers.
They wouldn’t admit it to anyone, not to each other, or their women, but they quite enjoyed hiding in that flower shop and arranging flowers. They claimed that they were doing it for Elain’s sake, to help her out, so she didn’t have to hire additional help just yet, but,
Well, they liked it.
At first, Elain wasn’t sure if Cassian was cut out for the task, because the very first try was a little rough.
“Cass, these are not your enemies that you are about to smite,” Elain instructed gently, prying his fingers from the stems of irises, which he was clutching like he was about to throw a lance.
“Pfff, you look like you are about to choke a chicken,” Nesta teased. And promptly realised her mistake, biting her lip.
Cassian cocked his brow and murmured seductively,
“What chicken am I choking, sweetheart? My own,”
“Oh no,” Elain stepped in between them, hands on her hips. “No. No. No. Absolutely not.”
“Lainey, don’t allow Cass to choke his chicken in front of us,” begged Azriel, working quickly and deftly, and soliciting an envious look from Cassian, whose flowers were in complete disarray, compared to Azriel’s neat piles and methodical assembly line.
“Yes, no one is choking chickens, penises or each other in here,” ordered Elain sternly, while Nesta and Azriel were laughing silently.
“Hehe,” smirked Cassian, “Elain said ‘penis’!”
“Take your dirty talk and deeds,”
Dirty deeds done dirt cheap, dirty deeds done dirt cheap
Cassian began rocking to his own singing, imitating the gravel of Brian Johnson’s voice rather successfully, headbanging over his babybreath, bluebells and irises.
Chicken choking forgotten for a moment.
 As Cassian fussed over a vase, working on each stem and arranging them just so, wearing a little white apron no less, he asked casually, “So, brother, four?”
Azriel was in his own headspace, and he didn’t even hear Cassian, as he was busy with his own flower arrangement.
There was, expectedly, a competition going on—who’d complete the most arrangements in an hour. Rowan, a veritable giant, and Cassian’s best friend, also wore an apron, but a long one, like a butcher, and was significantly ahead of the pack. That bothered Azriel more than he cared to admit. So, he was re-strategizing his strategy.
“Four what?” Rowan inquired, not taking his eyes off the flowers, working like a machine.
“Ask Az here,” Cassian suggested. He was catching up to Azriel with an alarming speed.
Azriel had never lost, so far. He wasn’t going to lose today.
“Stop speaking in riddles. What are you talking about?”
“Word on the street is that our Az here provides the flower girl with a minimum of four orgasms on the daily,”
Azriel started and finally tore his eyes from the flowers.
Both Rowan and Cassian were watching him, smirking.
“I guess it’s true then,”
“Fuck off.”
“If that’s true,” Rowan drawled, “good for you, man. Though you are putting us to shame with this ridiculous offer of yours. How do you keep up?”
“Easily,” Azriel shrugged. “But it’s freaking me out that you two are talking about my sex life so casually.”
“But fucking four? Daily?” repeated Cassian, shaking his head.
“Yeah, Elain, man,” Rowan rubbed the back of his head, mussing his silver hair, “who would’ve thought?”
Cassian nodded, “No offense, brother, but Elain doesn’t strike anyone as particularly adventurous in the bedroom,”
“And that’s where you’d be wrong,” Azriel said simply.
“Very beautiful,” offered Rowan pacifically, “but…you know…Kind of like Elide, I guess. You wouldn’t know it, looking at her,”
Cassian was nodding. “Yeah, she looks like she eats macaroons and reads Jane Austen,”
“Macarons,” said Azriel.
“What?”
“It’s macaron. Not macaroon.”
“What the hell is the difference?”
“One is a French biscuit, made with almond flour and filled with a creamy filling. The other, is a coconut concoction that one usually eats at Passover.”
Rowan was chuckling. Cassian was shaking his head, grunting, “you would know. So, does she? Eat maca--,”
“No, she doesn’t even like macarons. And she doesn’t read Jane Austen. She reads espionage novels. She likes Daniel Silva. Any more stupid questions?”
Elide. Of course. He should’ve guessed.
Elain and Elide met through Rowan and it was friendship at first sight.
Azriel couldn’t argue—the two women were similar in many ways. Both were on a quiet side, polite, well-mannered. Elain—a ray of sunshine, tall, slender and curvaceous, smiling and affable, with piles of golden-brown locks and warm brown eyes. Elide—the opposite—small, pale, with perfectly straight, silky black hair and dark, midnight eyes. Both—crafty in the ways of the world, charming, when needed, capable of getting into everyone’s good graces, and therefore, getting what they wanted.
“No, no more stupid questions,” said Cassian. “Just don’t know how you two grumps attracted such lively girls,”
“Lorcan and I aren’t ‘grumps’. We just talk when we need to and don’t have the need for instant gratification or to be the center of attention. Something I can’t say about you,”
“It’s not about me,” Cassian protested, but Azriel stopped him, by raising his finger,
 “Now, if you are not going to shut the fuck up about my woman and me, I will spread a rumour amongst your women, that it’s not four, but six. Daily. Let’s see how you measure up then.”
Silence fell.
Azriel won.
His 36th win.
 Now
 “Yes, the second,” Elain nodded with a satisfied smile.
 Azriel
 Naturally, today, he woke her up properly, as he always did.
They stayed in an adorable little villa, near Montepulciano. It was everything a Tuscan villa was supposed to be…
including the dust that settled in its 800-year-old walls. And Elain coughed and coughed and coughed, surprisingly not coughing up a lung.
“We can’t stay here,” Azriel said, frowning.
“Where are going to go? We are in the middle of Tuscany and it’s 10 pm,” she reminded him.
Ever resourceful, he dragged the mattress off the antique bed and plopped it down on the floor of their small balcony.
“We sleep here. Under the night Tuscan sky.”
It was a lovely, if chilly night, and Elain would’ve enjoyed it if she didn’t fall asleep almost immediately and slept through the night.
She was still asleep, when the birds began their morning song and Azriel positioned her on her hands and knees, and carefully removed her nightgown, baring her to the dry, cool morning air.
“Someone will see us,” she murmured sleepily.
She tucked her hands under her cheek, and followed the direction of Azriel’s hand on her hip, rising her butt high up, and arching her back for him.
Azriel loved having sex out in the open. Especially if she was completely naked. He wasn’t overt about it, but the thrill of being found out, the titillating desire to be watched was always present. She knew it. She indulged his fantasies.
“I don’t think anyone would mind watching you,” he whispered hotly in her ear and lightly bit the apple of her cheek. “But it’s also like 4:15 in the morning. So maybe they are still sleeping.”
He settled behind her and she felt his hands on her back, smoothing over the sharp cut of her tight waist and then the soft curve of her hips.
“Spread your legs for me, my love, I want to play with you a little bit,” he guided her, and she followed his direction, squatting inelegantly on her knees, thighs wide apart for him. He cupped her fully in his palm and then pinched her clit, hard, twisting it and rubbing it between his two fingers, until she bit her forearm, trying to stifle her cries of instant pleasure.  He pinched again, then again, rubbing tightly, while he bit her buttock playfully, but hard enough to leave a pink mark.
“Mmmm,” she groaned, when he nibbled on her flesh again, tugging on the swollen clit with relentless dedication. She managed to twist enough to kiss his knee and whispered, eyes still closed, “I love you so much.”
“I love you too, my beautiful girl,” he leaned forward and kissed her wet, stretched opening, dragging his tongue around and around the rim, “and you are so nice and wet for me in the morning. My good girl, what do you want?”
“Only you,” she vowed. “Only you, my Az.”
“Let’s fill your pretty little hole then,” he licked on it again, and then slid one strong, long finger inside. As he began to pump her slowly, he proposed, “When I fill you with my cock later on,”
“Uh oh,” she moaned dreamily, smiling a loving smile, enjoying his finger to the fullest.
“I think I’d like to add a finger or two as well. What do you think?”
“I’d like that, I think,” she complied easily.
Elain was not a particularly imaginative lover, but Azriel was the opposite—he had too much imagination when it came to everything. Especially Elain, and what he liked to do with her sexually. What was absolutely fantastic, and he thanked all the gods for this phenomenon, was that Elain was willing to try anything. She was an absolutely willing and eager lover, who learned from him and learned of her body with readiness and joy. He dominated her completely, but that was the nature of their relationship, and they easily fell into their roles, from the very beginning. She was submissive, loved praise, and loved being guided and told what to do. More than anything else, she loved pleasing him. There was never any pull and push, no competition, no power struggles. Elain was made for him, created and carved from something that was innately his, whether it was his body or his mind, and they lived and loved harmoniously. He complimented her perfectly: her temperament, her needs, her wants. He treated her with admiration, gentleness, adoration and respect, and while his own expectations were high, she met them all with ease. She took control when she needed to. Received what she wanted from him, however she needed to. And he gave and gave.
Some, or many, called them soulmates.
Perhaps that’s what they were. Or maybe, they were even more than that.
Azriel stretched his legs on either side of her curved body and then added another finger inside of her sopping, slippery opening, reaching deep into her and pumping her firmly.
“Auuuu, babe, it’s good…” she squealed, “it’s so good.”
Unable to wait any longer, he pulled her buttocks apart with his available hand and swept his tongue over the tiny opening, causing her to seize with surprise and pleasure. Instinctively, she moved her hips against his tongue, pushing her backside into his lips. He licked the little hole in earnest, dragging his tongue back and forth between both of her openings, making her tremble and shudder every time his tongue reached one or the other.
As he sat to the task of licking and sucking her tight hole, he thrust a third finger into her dripping passage, feeling her shift against his face to accommodate the stretch. It was a lot, and she whimpered and moaned from the pressure, but he knew that she could take four, though he wasn’t in a hurry, and worked her diligently and steadily, his tongue laving the other hole just as eagerly.
She was shaking between his legs, her toes curling beneath her, rapid pants escaping into the morning mists, her hair draping the tiled floor in front of her, even spilling through the balcony rails.
Somewhere they heard sheep bleating and Elain laughed softly, before arching her back even further, not caring how splayed she looked. There wasn’t a part of her that he hasn’t seen, hasn’t touched or licked or kissed, not an inch of her that wasn’t caressed by his rough hands, not an orifice that he hasn’t penetrated with his magnificent cock. He’d burrowed inside of her so deeply, so wholly, he possessed all of her and she knew what it’s like to truly be part of another person, to be loved with egregious passion.
He fed another finger inside of her and she cried out, trembling and grunting, as she grabbed and squeezed his foot with mighty strength.
He tore his lips away from her bottom and grinned,
“Love, when you are in labour with our baby, I am fully prepared for the fact that you will break my fingers, maybe even my hand.”
“I am sorry,” she laughed, and kissed his foot, dragging her tongue over his toes.
There wasn’t a part of him that she did not love, did not worship with everything she had. No part of his body remained un-kissed, un-touched, un-caressed. A lazy Sunday, especially if the weather was crap and they had no plans to go out, was her favourite time—she could spend the day loving her Azriel. On those days, she pleasured him. And if she spent hours with his cock buried in her throat, or his balls between her lips, or her tongue in his ass, she was only too happy.
The tips of his fingers crawled into that hidden spot inside of her, curling just so, so he could massage and rub her into a frenzy. He stilled for a moment, to allow her to adjust to the fullness and the stretch, as she bit his foot, trying to stifle her screams. She leaked slowly over his hand, as most of it was situated in her clutching, hungry tightness.
“Very good, my baby,” he praised, kissing her buttocks and then giving her anus a few approving licks, “taking all four inside of you,”
“Oh my god, oh,” she groaned, “it’s so tight…Az, my love, I am so full,”
“I know, love,” he coaxed evenly, his hand beginning a steady, firm barrage of deep, pounding thrusts, “but it’s nice, isn’t it?”
“Yeess,” she only managed, voice thin, pleading. She could barely hold herself up, so he wrapped his arm around her hips, keeping her ass up. She grabbed the balcony wrought-iron spindles, squeezing them tightly, forehead pressed into the mattress, as he pumped her harshly, keeping her on the verge of constant climax, but pulling back just so, for her to moan and beg him in a never ending litany.
“Baby, you want to come?” he teased, still busy with her butthole, which softened under his furious sucking and if they had more time and privacy, Elain would be ready to take him anally soon enough.
“Yes,” she grunted, “yes,”
“Ask nicely, and maybe,”
“Ugh, you are such a horrible tease,” she complained, biting his foot in spite, and he laughed, before slapping her firm, soft buttock.
“Biting a person who is making you come so nicely?” he slapped her again, and she yelped with pleasure, wiggling her ass, silently asking for more.
The walls of her passage clenched desperately over his fingers, and she made a choking, frantic sound in her chest, now beyond pleading or even moaning. He sucked, and slapped, and bit, and thrust, pumping her open, the sounds of the wet and the skin inside of her completely obscene, and music to both of their ears.
Azriel noticed a man, either a delivery guy or a grounds keeper, watching them wide eyed and shocked from a distance. Probably not something he expected to see at 4:40 in the morning. Not that he made a move to leave.
Azriel opted not to alarm Elain, who was coming violently on his hand, her body trembling and jerking, her beautiful, quiet orgasm sweeping everything in its path. His girl deserved a proper wake up, deserved and needed her climaxes, and deserved to be watched, because she was so beautiful. Her teeth and tongue clamped tightly on his foot, his toes, as she bit and licked, completely undone, turned inside out by his expert hand.
He still worked her hand in her, his thrusts shallow and not as strong, when she collapsed on the mattress at last, eyes closed, panting.
He smiled and finally slipped on the mattress alongside her, though he kept a finger between her folds, rubbing soothingly. She’d bite his head off if he removed his hand from her this quickly.
“Good morning my love,” he whispered at last, kissing her cheek.
“Mmmm, good morning,” she sighed with satiated pleasure.
“Some guy caught an eyeful,” he whispered, but she only snuggled to his chest.
“I don’t care…As long as you were watching me, that’s all that matters.”
“I wouldn’t mind sliding into your little bum right now,” he confessed, stroking her hip and her curvy backside.
“Do you want to take me?” she offered sweetly, eyes fluttering open.
He kissed her head and smiled, “So tempting, but not here and not now. Let’s jump in the shower and then be on our way. We’ve got a decent amount of driving to do today.”
She nodded.
“Did I tell you that I love you?” she stroked his cheek, the sharp, angular cut of it, the dark bronze skin.
“You did, but I wouldn’t mind hearing it again.”
“I love you, Azriel.”
“I love you, Elain.”
 Elain
Their day was long.
They had their cappuccino and cornetti at some café on the road.
Their trip had a purpose—they were actually driving to Maranello, to the Ferrari headquarters where Azriel had 3 days of business meetings.
When Az told her that he was thinking of going to Italy, it was no brainer to say ‘yes’.
It was the first time she was going to leave her business, her shop, for an extended period of time, but Feyre promised to oversee the operations, while Cerridwen, whom Elain recently hired as a full-time employee and who was Nuala’s sister, was going to be responsible for the day-to-day.
The last time Elain’s been to Italy was when she was barely 10 years old. A few years before everything’s went to shit. Back then, her father completed a very lucrative business deal and there was a lot of disposable cash, so the family decided to take a grand trip to Italy.
Little Feyre who was only seven screeched and begged to go to Disneyland, while Nesta and their mother voted for Italy. No one asked Elain, assuming that she’d go wherever she was told.
The trip was extensive, almost four weeks, and they hit all the glamorous Southern parts—the Amalfi coast, with their headquarters in a rented villa near Positano. Then they went to Portofino, and their father rented a yacht for a few days, the trip culminating in Capri. It was a whirlwind on sun and the sea, of lemons, eating grilled squid, at which Feyre stared in horror, though she liked the taste, amazing fruit, endless pastries and gelato. Even their mother yanking a few pastries away from Elain, hissing that she ‘grow fat and not find a husband’ didn’t mar the experience. Elain, always the plumper of the sisters, was used to the warning by then.
 This time around, Elain could eat as much pastry as she wanted.
They landed in Rome, spent four days there, since she insisted on going to the Vatican Museum twice, hear Mass at St. Peter’s, and she didn’t know if she annoyed Azriel with her endless excitement and tales of art, artists, and biblical stories, but she couldn’t help herself.
She was an Art History major in NYU, receiving a full scholarship to attend. She loved it. Didn’t like college all that much as a whole, but loves studying. When everyone was partying, drinking, fucking and skipping classes, she went to the Met and to MOMA and learned and enjoyed herself. She loved history of religion, of other cultures and though not at all religious herself, none of them were, her knowledge on the subject was thorough.
Azriel, it seemed, liked her passion, her excitement, and listened attentively when she went on long explanation of what this or that Saint did and what grizzly death they’d suffered. And what was the significance of the painting or sculpture of the said Saint. Obviously, he was very artistically inclined as well, though his preference lay in design and industrial art, but he enjoyed listening and discussing. They spent hours and hours meandering the halls of the museum, and of the cathedral, and both spent a good half an hour in front of the Pieta, staring in silence and quiet contemplation at the sculpture, holding hands.
It was when they were sitting at a café, sipping some bitter Campari cocktails and watched the sprawling vistas of Rome that Azriel confided to her. Told her of his childhood. She knew some of the details, but he never talked about his childhood, and she opted not to pressure him. It was clear enough that it was horrific in many ways, and bringing up all those memories didn’t make sense to Elain.
Told her how his father, who was rich and vicious, won custody of him from his mother, not because he wanted his son, but out of spite, to torment the mother. And then it was years of solitude and loneliness and emotional and physical abuse. Azriel’s only reprieve was drawing, making designs, sometimes with chalk on the pavement, sometimes on scraps of paper. His stepmother threw everything out as soon as he made it. He languished in his father’s world for 8 years, until a catastrophic event took place—his stepbrothers doused him, his hands, in gasoline and lit him up. They didn’t call the paramedics either, and simply stood there, watching, as he burned. Finally, the neighbors heard his screams and police and ambulance came at last.
Because he was young, he recovered most of the sensations and feeling in his hands, but the skin was permanently scarred and his father refused skin grafts.
He’d met Cassian at the hospital, who came there having been beaten so badly by his foster father, that he had a concussion, broken ribs and a punctured eye socket.
Mrs. Darling, Rhys’s mother, who was one of the biggest benefactors of the children’s hospital where they were recovering, heard their stories and thankfully, her wealth opened every door. Her influence and wealth were no match for Azriel’s father. Hence when she decided that she wanted to adopt the two boys, little could be done to dissuade her. Azriel and Cassian still spent some time in foster care, while the documents were being processed and all the formalities legalized, but at the end, they ended up with the Darlings, as their adopted sons.
Elain wanted to cry for him, for his destroyed childhood, for his tormented youth, for his injuries, for the lack of love in his life. For his sake, though, she didn’t.
Sensing that he needed her support, she didn’t release his hand for the remainder of the day.
And she told him how much she loved him and how happy he made her.
 They left Montepulciano, and then drove for a few hours and stopped at Orvieto, and explored its unnecessary enormous Duomo, which was situated on the hill, amidst the Umbrian lushness. The tiny town did offer spectacular views and great wine, which they enjoyed with lunch.
 Now
Azriel worked his fingers into the supple warmth of her damp pussy and looked down, before ordering, “wider, Lainey”.
She spread her legs wider, her knit dress folded haphazardly over the belly.
“Wider,” he said and she placed one foot on the seat, exposing herself completely to him.
It was never wide enough for him, for he liked to see everything, liked to spread and open and pull her wide apart for his eyes, for his exploration.
He pressed his thumb to her plump pink clit and began to rub.
She whined impatiently and he smiled,
“We are almost there…”
“I need you,” she moaned, kissing his shoulder through his shirt.
“I need you too, my beauty,” he nodded, “but I think once we get there, you’ll forget all about me.”
She tsked and announced, “I don’t know if anything will impress me as much as your cock in my mouth,”
He started at the blunt words, her amused grin and then burst out laughing.
“Naughty.”
In a few minutes, he rounded a small green hill and Elain’s breath caught in her throat.
“Oh, gods…Az…”
He was smiling.
He’d never been here before, but he’d done his research, finally finding the right spot.
A tiny hidden valley, nestled between a few rolling Tuscan hills, with a small turquoise lake sparkling in the late afternoon sun. In the distance, a mandatory Tuscan villa.
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And poppies. Fields of poppies, stretching as far as the eye can see. A blanket of ruby-red poppies, gently swaying in the pine-scented air.
This place was a damn Walmart painting come true, and Azriel loved it for its kitsch, its predictability.
“It’s gorgeous!” she gasped. Then chuckled, adding, “Like one of those mass-produced paintings,”
At that, Azriel roared with laughter, killed the engine and they got out of the car.
“My thoughts exactly!” he nodded vigorously.
She ran into the poppies, brushing her palm over the petals, “But it’s worth it! No painting can ever do this justice! Az…it’s so beautiful!” she twirled in the field of red, her white dress a stark contrast to the vibrancy of the colours around her—the cobalt of the cloudless sky, the emerald green of the hills, the blood-red of the poppies.
He folded his arms and said, “I am glad you like it.”
“Like it? I love it!”
She inspected all the wildflowers that bloomed among the poppies, picking a few purple ones and a daisy and tucking them behind her ear. Another daisy she brought to him and tucked it into his hair.
“There is a blanket in the trunk,” he jerked his head towards the car, and unbuttoned his shirt almost to the navel, “if you want to picnic,”
“I want to picnic!” she squealed and ran to the car to get what she needed.
Soon there was a blanket on the grass and a few bottles of wine in a basket.
He slid down, stretching on the blanket, toeing off his shoes, rolling his shoulders. This was nice. He also relished her happiness, how her high ponytail bounced about as she ran through the field barefoot, and then began twirling, arms outstretched and singing loudly,
The hills are alive with the sound of
Griswold, he helped out.
“Are you coming here?” he called out, throwing his arm over his eyes.
“No,” she yelled, “I am picking flowers!”
“They’ll wilt,” he muttered reasonably, but she didn’t hear him.
Azriel dozed off, surprising himself. But the pleasant heat, the sunshine, the breeze, the birds—all lulled him into sleep. He stirred only when he sensed Elain near, and when he opened his eyes, he was treated by a lovely surprise. He propped himself on his elbows and watched his beautiful girl walk towards him completely naked, with a heap of flowers in the crook of her arm. What she did with her dress he didn’t know and didn’t care. But he drunk in the slim, curvy silhouette of her body, the long, slender legs and the toned thighs. Her smooth, pink sex glistened just a bit with her usual arousal, and full breasts bounced with every step. Her hair flowed behind her, unbound.
“I got hot,” she announced.
He grinned.
“I can see that. I like it when you get hot like this.”
She stood over him, her delicious slit taunting him and he made to touch it, but she dumped all the flowers on him instead and said, “get up”.
“Why?!” he frowned. “I am so comfortable.”
“I can make you a little more comfortable,” she promised, “but for that, you have to get up.”
With a groan, he got on his feet, only to have her slide on her knees in front of him. She looked up and murmured, “by the time you are done with me, I only want to have gelato to soothe my throat.”
He swallowed audibly, watching her unbutton his trousers and then his shirt. She removed the pants completely, but left the white shirt on, before placing a few soft, loving kisses on the thick slabs of muscles on his stomach. The well-defined outline of his Adonis Belt she traced with her tongue, inevitably making her way from his hip towards the final destination.
“And I want my knees bruised,” she added with a wicked smirk.
He flicked her nose and shook his head, “such filthy words coming from this pretty little mouth.”
She licked her lips with impatience, hungrily watching him fist his member and give it a few rough, preliminary strokes.
“Gods, your cock is gorgeous,” she gasped with admiration, watching him work himself with practiced determination.
“You like my cock?” he drew the thick, smooth head of it over her full lips and she whimpered with anticipation, nodding, kissing it affectionately, with slow, open mouth kisses, as he continued to pump it lazily.
She admitted, “more than anything. Az, Az,” she begged impatiently, as he smeared a trickle of liquid that dribbled from the tip over her lips, “please,”
“Please what?”
She rested her hands on his thighs, kneeling close enough so that her breasts brushed against them, “I want it in my mouth. Please.”
He lightly smacked the thick girth of his shaft over her half-opened mouth, making her shake with anticipation, smiling down at her. Her eyes burned with raw, overwhelming desire.
“But I like it when you ask me, baby. Tell me more,”
“That your cock is gorgeous and ridiculously huge?” she chuckled, relishing in his rubbing the tip insistently over her lips, as she licked the little slit.
“Keep going,” he encouraged.
“That I love you and can’t wait to suck it?”
“Alright, babe,” she nodded at last, “I guess you’ll just have to suck my huge dick,” and with that, he slid between her lips.
She smiled around him and pulled on it deeper, dragging her tongue over and under the thick shaft. It was always just a little too big for her, so she gasped, as he filled her mouth more and more, sliding in steadily. She eased her throat as much as she could, accepting the thrust and feeling the smooth head dip down, brushing the back of her throat. He was watching her intently, every bob and swallow of her throat, making sure that she was comfortable enough to hold him in. “Big?” he murmured. Her eyes teared up, but she managed a small nod. Her hands squeezed his thighs nervously, tightly, stroking the backs of them, while he began to pull out slowly, before sliding back in.
Nothing was more exciting than Elain’s ability to mould her throat around his shaft, while those big brown eyes blinked at him, seeking approval. He put his hand over her head, stroking it, then caressing her face, her hollowed cheeks, while giving her mouth a few exploratory thrusts.
She readied herself and pulled back, releasing the cock with an audible pop, and then licking the underside, from the balls to the tip.
“Just like that, my love,” he nodded, watching her tuck her face in the crease of his hip and slide her tongue up and down the sides of his cock. “Is that good?”
“It’s the best,” she vowed, “I love licking!” she added enthusiastically, proceeding to do just that.
He always remembered that she was very innocent and whatever she knew, no matter how sensual, erotic or even perverse, it all came from him. He taught her—gently, firmly and thoroughly the art of the bedroom and whatever they did, he was completely assured that she enjoyed and wanted every moment of it. Thankfully, she was so innocent that she didn’t know how to pretend or fake anything, especially when it came to sex, and didn’t know how to play games. She was eager and loving and excitable because what they did together, with each other, pleased her, and for no other reason. Azriel cherished this level of honesty more than anything.
Therefore, when she said that she loved licking, she showed him just how much she enjoyed it, licking up and down voraciously, over the sides, watching him unblinking. He cupped the pouch of his balls in one hand and carefully eased it into her mouth.
“You are so good to me,” he groaned, as she wrapped her lips around the ball and began to suck eagerly, not caring if she was loud, smacking her lips, tongue working non-stop, caressing the flesh. She hummed appreciatively around the balls, sending a pleasant shiver down his thighs, her mouth completely filled with him. “That’s good, my girl,” he stroked her head, “just like that. Keep going,” his head fell back with satisfaction, and she swallowed hard around his balls, almost moaning at the sight of his neck, the expression of pleasure written on his face.
“Can I tell you a story?” he muttered huskily, looking back down at her, his eyes dark and his face tense. Elain nodded. He gripped his cock and then slid it back in her mouth, almost to the hilt, making her choke and gag at once, watching her eyes widen.
She was drooling, but she wasn’t sure if it was from the pressure of her member in her throat, or from the visual display of his stunning body above her. The thick pectorals, adorned with black and blue ink twitched as he began to pump in and out of her mouth, hard and steady. He held the back of her head, but the clutch of his hand was light and casual, only keeping her in place, as his narrow hips flexed with each deep push. A delicious bead of sweat ran down the cobbled network of his abdominal muscles, slowly making its way to the deep V etched into his hips, towards the thick cock that he was currently ramming into her mouth.
She drooled. She licked and laved and lapped. She didn’t care how messy or ridiculous she looked, because her man loved her and loved her on her knees in front of him.
“I couldn’t stop watching you talk,” he grumbled, “the first time I saw you. Your plump lips…Oh fuck, baby, you feel so, so good,” he rode her smoothly, with deep, expert strokes, “you wore that rose-tinted lipstick…and all I could think of afterward was those lips wrapped around my dick.”
She smiled over his member, lightly shaking her head, as much as her current position would allow.
“I am sorry, honey,” he smiled at her, “this pervy mind couldn’t think of anything else but getting my dick down your throat.”
And demonstrating just that, and the resolution of his dream, he pushed further.
“Alright?” he asked, carefully holding her jaw. She blinked her approval. He was unable to take his eyes off her, her lush lips wrapped tightly around the dark mass of him, her beautiful eyes tearing from pressure. He wiped the tears with his thumbs and then gave a brief nod, “give me those flowers, baby.”
Obviously, she couldn’t glance down, so she blindly grabbed a handful of flowers and handed them to him, her expression amused, a little surprised.
“What’s more romantic,” he murmured, stroking her hollowed cheeks and then pulling out a little, before pushing back in, “than putting pretty flowers into my Lainey’s hair,” and he plucked a small poppy from the heap, and pushed in into her hair, “while she deepthroats me?”
He was heavy and thick in her mouth, salty, delicious and familiar, and as he began thrusting firmly, the thick head hitting the back of her throat, Elain settled in for a ride. She wasn’t kidding when she asked for her throat to be raw by the end of it—she liked being sore somewhere in her body from him, at all times. Between her legs, inside her rectum, in her throat—it didn’t matter, though it was nice if it was everywhere, but she loved being marked by him in some way.
The hum and rumble in Azriel’s throat, that of masculine satisfaction and some kind of primal dominance made her so wet, she leaked down her thighs. But he didn’t tell her to touch herself, so she didn’t. He just fucked her throat steadily, the audible sound of her choking and sputtering around his cock and the satisfied snarls emanating from him, the only sounds around them. His hips rocked hard, pumping deep, as he garbled endearments and praise to her, “is that so good, honey? You feel amazing…”
She squeezed his thighs in affirmation. As he worked on her, he kept putting flowers in her hair, admiring her sucking and his work, “so gorgeous, baby. My beautiful girl…Good cock?”
“Mmmm,” she only managed, saliva bathing her chin and chest, her eyes rolling back with pleasure and exhaustion.
“Can you handle a little more?” he begged, “I don’t want to come yet, my love,” another flower in her hair. “I love you on your knees with my cock in her mouth.”
He set a brutal rhythm, muttered, “choke, baby…” and she did, gagging and panting over his member, the lack of oxygen making her pliant and obliging, her mouth existing for his pleasure. When they played a little rougher, he could request to squeeze her throat a little with his hand, while he choked her with his cock, but today, he was feeling romantic, as was she.
Her hair dripped with flowers of all kinds, as he fashioned her into some kind of Summer Lady. Or maybe a Dusk Lady, since the sun began its descent and shadows spread over the pretty little valley.
“Fuck me, you are so beautiful,” he grunted, looking down at her. “My flower girl, with my cock in her mouth. Bob a little, love, show me how much you like it,” he encouraged and she immediately began to bob her head  up and down on him, drool sliding down his shaft, her eyes pleading for his approval, which he gave generously.
He gently, kindly stroked her face, her throat, feeling his cock deep inside it, moving in her, rubbing at the indentation with his thumb. Then, he cupped her face between his large hands and murmured, “open up”, thumbs brushing over her damp cheeks, as tears slid down when he started to thrust intently, battering her throat. “My girl is sucking so well,” he was relentless now, pounding and pounding, an Elain thought that she might just pass out from the sensation, feeling lightheaded. Azriel had inhuman stamina when he was between her legs, but that also translated to when he was in her mouth, which meant he could ravage her completely. “I’ll feed you all the gelato myself, if you can suck a little more,” he promised with a smirk, pulling out completely. “Breathe,” he ordered, and she gulped in some air, before he thrust back inside, “are you tired?”
She shook her head ‘no’. She was never tired for him. She moaned, though his cock pushed down all sound with brutal, excited enthusiasm, as he cupped his balls tightly in his hand, readying to finally come. “Fuck, baby, you suck so well,” he squeezed her shoulder, stooping over her, the muscled of his abdomen twitching and tensing, his balls tight against her chin. Grabbing her shoulder with one hand, he cupped her under the jaw and kept her head still, as he exploded in her mouth. He poured down her throat with a pleased, blissful moan, throwing his head back, pumping harshly and erratically, filling her mouth over and over. She sucked and drank, swallowing quickly, gluttonously. Azriel always tasted heavenly, but perhaps it was something about being in Italy and all the fruit and wine that they’ve been consuming, but she couldn’t get enough of him now. He shot rope after rope down her throat and she lapped it all with pleasure. He dropped on his knees, exhausted, his cock still in her mouth, and she stroked and caressed his body soothingly, swallowing the last of him.
“Gods, Elain,” was all he managed, as he finally withdrew in an endlessly long pull from her lips.
She gasped, and licked her lips, before placing a loving, playful kiss on the pink, wet head of the shaft.
“Did you have fun, my love?” she cooed tenderly, as Azriel slumped on the blanket, head her on her lap.
“Baby, why do you spoil me like this?” he moaned, reaching for her bare plump breast and cupping lightly.
“Probably because I love you more than it’s prudent,” she smiled, her voice hoarse. “More than anything. Love you like I didn’t know I could love anybody. Also,”
“Yes?”
His chest constricted from her simple admissions, from the pure earnestness of her words, from the love that was shining in her brown eyes. He was undeserving of this woman, of her overwhelming love for him, of everything that she gave him so selflessly. But he listened and listened, because everything she told him was like a balm on all the wounds of his soul, and music to his heart.
Her lips were gorgeously, obscenely swollen, and he dragged his thumb over their plumpness. She added, “you are very hot.”
“Ahhh,” he chuckled. “So you are using me for my body?”
“I’d be stupid not to use you for your body. You got one hell of a body, my mysterious, shadowy Azriel.”
“Well, flower girl, you go ahead and use my body as much as you want, for anything you desire. It’s yours.”
He kissed her hand. Then, reached up and kissed her pretty pink nipple.
“As is my heart,” he added softly. “Anything you want. It’s all yours.”
She lay next to him, both of them sprawled in the blanket of flowers. She picked a poppy and stuck it behind his ear.
“Pretty boy Azriel.”
He propped his cheek and turned to face her. She was still covered in flowers, from all his handiwork.
“We are good together, aren’t we?” she murmured, laying her hand on his neck.
“We are. We are very good together, Lainey.”
She bit her swollen lip and then said, voice quiet, a little uncertain,
“Maybe you want to marry me?” she proposed.
He stilled, waiting for more.
She squeezed the back of his neck a little tighter and continued, no stopping her now, “I know we were thinking later, maybe next y-,”
“Yes,” he nodded, “yes.”
“Yes?”
“Yes, Elain, I want to marry you now.”
She gasped, tears of joy moistening her eyes, “In Florence?” she begged.
“Yes. In Florence,” he cupped her face in his. “Let’s go get married!”
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durmstrange · 4 years ago
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Chocolate Milk - George Weasley
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YALL.  I had this idea while standing in my kitchen drinking chocolate milk and HAD to write it.  This takes place after the war and of course Fred does not die because it never really happened lmao. Hope you enjoy!
Warnings:  unplanned pregnancy
Word count: 973
With a small huff, after working most of the day in the garden with Molly as Fred, your fiancé George, Harry, and Ron helped their father in his workshop sorting through his muggle artifact and gadgets, you fell into a chair in the kitchen.  Molly still ran around like she had unlimited energy, fixing a kettle of tea for you, Ginny, and her to share.  “Care for anything else to drink, darling?”  Molly asked as she poured Ginny a cup. 
“Actually, do you happen to have any chocolate milk?  I swear it’s all I’ve been drinking lately,” you laughed quietly, and shook your head at yourself. 
Molly froze in her spot, her eyes widening.  This made your smile fade as you glanced to Ginny, who was equally confused.  “Mum, are you alright?”  She asked curiously as she stood, putting her hand on her mother’s arm. 
You felt instantly guilting, coming to your feet as well and taking the kettle from Molly.  “I’m sorry, did I say something?”  You asked worriedly, hoping you didn’t upset your future mother-in-law.
She looked at you, her face growing red and a smile forming on her lips.  “You’re pregnant,” she said, rather than asking.  Your face grew incredibly red and you stepped back, shaking your head.  “When I was pregnant with Fred and George, all I could stomach my whole pregnancy was chocolate milk,” she explained further, only making your face pale more and more.  Ginny gasped, clasping her hands over her mouth.
“No, absolutely not.  There’s no way,” you began incredibly strong but your face softened as you began thinking.  You had thought you were bloated, your stomach was upset constantly in the last month, and as you counted back the days in your head, it dawned on you that is was quite literally a possibility.  “Oh, oh, oh, bloody hell!” You felt faint suddenly, gripping the back of the kitchen chair as you struggled to catch your breath. 
Ginny grabbed your arms, stabilizing you with wide eyes.  “What?  What are you thinking?”  
Molly came to your other side, leading you into a chair and pushing you to sit.  “Dear, are you pregnant?”  She asked this time, sitting in the chair next to you and holding your hands in her own comfortingly.  
“I think I am,” you whispered.  “Good god, I’m going to be a mum!”  You whispered-yelled to the three of them as you put your head in your hands, leaning against Molly. 
“It’s okay, dear, we will confirm before you start panicking.  Besides, there’s nothing to panic about.  You and George would be fit parents,” she assured in a calm voice and got to her feet, moving about the house.  Ginny assumed her seat, holding your hand and rubbing your back comfortingly. 
Ginny leaned her head on your own as you rested it on the table.  “She’s right, you know.  You and George are the perfect parents, and I’m not just saying that because I would be an amazing aunt,” she smiled against your head as you sniffled gently, feeling like you were going to cry.  You weren’t necessarily unhappy to be pregnant, but you had always thought you’d plan it out with George, rather than it being a surprised.  
After a quick test, it was confirmed that you were indeed expecting.  Tears fell down your face as Molly held you, her own tears soaking into your shirt as she cried happily.  “I’m going to be a grandmother!  For the first time, oh dear!  I never thought George was going to be the one to make me a grandmother,” she rambled as Ginny smiled widely, wrapping her arms around the both of you. 
“Me either,” you admitted with a nervous laugh and wiped at your eyes, trying to remain calm.  You heard the front door open then, with the boys all talking and laughing loudly, making your face fall blank.  “Oh, hell, I’ve got to tell George,” you whispered to the girls, Molly trying to dry her face with her apron and Ginny beaming with pride. 
You did the same as Molly, wiping at your face as the boys all entered the kitchen with Arthur leading.  “Well, Molly, I'd say we made excellent progress today,” he announced without noticing the girls all looking rather disheveled.
Ron, entering in after his father, tilted his head to the side at his crying mother, beaming sister, and shaking soon to be sister-in-law.  “What happened to you lot?” He questioned rather blazingly as Harry, Fred and George entered behind him, looking even more confused.
“What’s wrong, dear?”  Arthur asked then, immediately rushing to Molly’s side and wrapping an arm around her as she broke, crying once more and throwing her arms around Arthur. 
George looked at the tears in your eyes as you wrung your hands out in front of you.  “I’m pregnant,” you announced, making the room fall silent, spare Molly’s happy sobs.  
George’s face reddened, and his twin looked between you and him incredulously.  “You mean to tell me you two have been having premarital sex?!”  He asked ridiculously as George practically sprinted around the table, picking you up in his arms and burying his face in your neck.  Ginny broke into a cackle as she joined Harry’s side, wrapping her arms around him excitedly.
“Are you being serious?”  He asked urgently when he finally set you down, holding your crying face in your hands.  “I’m going to be a father?”  You nodded through your tears with a small smile on your lips.  “Oh, love, this is wonderful,” he said excitedly as he hugged you once more, the widest smile on his lips that you had ever seen in your fifteen years of knowing him.  George kissed you with all he had before releasing you to allow the rest of his family time to love on you.
-
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zeldasayer · 4 years ago
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Futile Devices — Chapter 5
A Javier Peña/Call Me By Your Name AU
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gif by @pascalplease
Javier Peña x Reader
Summary: Everything has changed since your father’s book with Javier was rejected, just as you and Javier were getting close.
Warnings: SMUT — age gap (reader is of age), inexperienced!reader themes, gagging, praise (use of “little girl”), vocal Javi, squirting. Angst. 18+
Masterlist | Chapter 4
——
Vita Murphy was born on April 9th 1963 in Milan, Italy to American architects Connie and Steve Murphy, who met your mother by chance one afternoon at a market in town. Taking a liking to Connie, Daisy invited her and her husband to one of their legendary parties. Your mother and father loved to entertain and invite interesting people into their home for cocktails and Daisy's delicious cooking. Your parents celebrated every holiday, birthday, or life event they could think of, any excuse to dress up, string lights through the fruit trees in the back yard and drink in excess to your father's extensive record collection. As a child, you missed most of the parties, having been put to bed just as they were taking off, but when Connie and Steve arrived to your mother's 35th birthday after meeting in the market, and saw you sitting alone at your piano, Connie knew that next time she would bring her daughter.
Even at 13 you felt the pull that Vita had. You watched as she floated around your home, seeming even more comfortable in it than you were, stealing sips of wine and hors d'oeuvres before noticing you and asking if you had ever had your tarot cards read.
"It's my favourite game." You spat out nervously unaware.
Vita just smiled with a nod, "Yeah. Mine, too."
And from then on, you were inseparable.
"She didn't cry, she sang!" Connie always said about her daughter's birth. "It was the happiest day of my life."
Made in her mother's stunning image, Vita had the most incredible large eyes and long blonde hair she cut only once a year. Connie knew at a young age that her daughter was special, as a believer in the universe and the infinite lives a person could have, she knew her daughter was an old soul put on Earth to love and protect the new souls, the tired souls, those who were born somewhere and didn't know why they were born there. She knew it would be quite the burden for one girl, but she saw it quickly in her daughter that it was what she was meant to do. A healer, a listener, someone who understood what many feared no one ever could. Vita attracted those who needed her, and in that, unfortunately led to a large turnover in friendships. Vita was used to strong, short bursts of complete female unity, where she loved you undyingly and provided the support that you needed to pass through a difficult period of your life. But not with you, there was no passing through with you. Not even during your extended stays in the United States or even now that you are gone most of the year in college, could your friendship be weakened.
"It's because you were siblings!" Connie exclaimed in a tipsy state on a summer night long ago. "In another life."
"Do you think?" Vita asked, turning to you.
You believed in Vita and her mother's cosmic knowing, and relied on it more than you were willing to admit. "Of course."
"You were brother and sister." Connie said before taking a sip of her wine, and going quiet.
She always goes quiet — one moment she will tell you how your whole life is going to be and the next, just as she's about to get into the details, she switches off without any explanation, claiming she "doesn't really know this stuff, anyway."
It always makes Vita roll her eyes, because she knows that's not the case for she is just like her mother. Vita saw everything and found people she couldn't read extremely frustrating. Vita has this otherworldly understanding of people and a patience unmatched by anyone you have ever met. She knows how devastating it can be to be seen, but how crucial in life it is to not only be understood, but accepted. Vita also knew how often you spent up in your head, in your make believe world where nothing could hurt you. How your lust for life was so consuming it left you unable to move, too afraid to start because it always felt like you were doing it on your own. Your best friend once told you with tears in her eyes that she wished she knew what planet you were from so you would have the peace of mind that you weren’t completely alone, and you thanked her because sometimes that is enough.
Vita is the human embodiment of home.
So why can't you tell her what is going on? Why does your throat close up every time you want to talk about Javier in any capacity? Why does your throat close up when you think about Javier at all? A part of you wants to run barefoot straight to Vita’s house and up to her room, beg her to help you understand your own emotions. Why are you so enamored by a man who always makes it so hard to breathe? How he manages to make you so hyper aware of your movements, yet he isn't even looking at you. How he's never there when you want him but you would drop everything to be close to him once more. You would drop everything just to be what he wanted again and it makes you sick to your stomach. It's like watching yourself at 15 all over again, when you believed the most important thing you could be was desired. Hell is the mind of a fifteen year old girl, and you thought those days were gone forever.
The tension in the house doesn't make it any easier. You and Daisy tiptoeing around your father and house guest. The quiet meals, that used to be your favourite parts of the day now leave you cold even in the relentless summer sun. You spend most of the time, sitting across from Javier, staring at him. Waiting for him to look at you so you can ask him what's wrong with your eyes. To let him know that he can come to you, that you want him to. But he never does.
Christian and Javier lock themselves away in the library most days and your mother tells you they still haven't come up with anything new. You're startled every night when you're woken by their raised voices traveling through the halls and you hold your breath until you hear their roaring laughter and you know they must be drunk.
You don't see Javier much these days, but you don't see anyone for that matter. Resorting to lazy floats in the pool by yourself or reading alone in the cool living room to escape the heat. It feels as though, if you can't be around Javier you can’t be around anyone at all and sometimes you can make that make sense but most of the time you ignore the irritating notion that you may really be going crazy.
But what was supposed to happen? Javier would fuck you and realize right then and there he couldn’t live without you? It’s so embarrassing because it’s true. You can't talk to Vita because you're embarrassed to admit you wanted to be more and tonight after another lonely dinner where you might as well have been eating alone — you dumped your dishes in the sink and slipped out to the back gardens for your abandoned childhood swing set. And you finally cried.
“Fuck!” You scream up at the sky and you kick your legs back.
As you create your momentum, swinging back and forth you can’t help but succumb to your own erratic emotions and you wonder why it has to be this way. Why can’t you just be happy with what you have? Why must you always need more? Why is it so goddamn exhausting to keep yourself neutral? You’ve never felt sad, only despair. Never angry, only full of rage. You’ve never been embarrassed, you only know humiliation. And you hate to think this way because you always search for your brain for a time you were truly happy, but you always come up empty.
Something is always missing. Something is always missing and you’re always alone but you can’t even be upset because you do it to yourself.
It feels like you’re taking the world on by yourself simply because you are. Because you feel like you need to, this is your burden and yours only. You must suffer to be rewarded for one day you will be able to walk in the sun and be alright.
But to what end? When will you be rewarded?
You want it to be Javier. Just being close to him feels like the reward. The energy you feel just sitting next to him, those eyes you want to swim in, the perfect angle of his nose and the voice that drips from his lips. It must be him, but he won’t even talk to you.
You spend the evening locked in this thought, the concept of the reward — you can convince yourself it isn't real but your heart aches for it knows it is the truth. Which is why Javier is so difficult. He is the one and it makes you dizzy with excitement, but you’re not sure if you can trust it. There is this pull of doubt at the corners of every thought because he still doesn’t know you. Though he could. If he just said the word, you’d spill every story, every thought, every idea you’ve ever had. How you long for more. More life. More love. More sex. More understanding. To truly be alive, not just living. Who could understand that better then him?
——
You like the way the cold ground feels under your bare feet as you walk back up to the house in the darkness. You feel lighter, now that you’ve cried and the house that sits quiet and empty is suddenly comforting. This is your life, your home. Javier is just a tourist and he should be so lucky to exist in the same space as you. But maybe this is you just channeling arrogance as to not be so sad, focusing on what he’s missing instead of your desperate need for him to actually see it.
“Claude?” You hear from the living room at the first creak of the wooden stairs.
You tiptoe through the corridor and into the living room to find Javier taming his fluffy hair with a yawn. Your jaw tightens.
“I’ve been waiting for you. I fell asleep.” He says and you just stand there, crossing your arms over your light blue summer dress. “Can you come sit?”
Shit.
“I don’t know Javi, I’m tired.” You shrug.
“Look, I just want to apologize.” He says, standing up and turning toward you, “We had sex and I haven’t spoken to you since and that’s fucked up. I’m sorry.”
Your eyes widen, but he doesn’t see because he looks down like he’s ashamed. You believe him. Gliding across the living room, you watch him in his usual ensemble — tight black t-shirt, soft cotton pants and his thick black framed glasses, and sit back down with him, on your side.
“It’s just everything with this book, I’ve never felt this kind of anxiety.” He says, his eyes cast down, resting his head on his fist propped up by the top of the couch.
You nod for you understand, but it hurt. “You didn’t even look at me this week.”
“I know.” He sighs, “I know, but I really am sorry. Please believe me when I say I’ve missed you.”
You look up at him, biting your cheek to contain your excitement.
“I miss you even while we live in the same house.” He says, looking away. His hand fidgets against his knee. “If you’re not at breakfast, or you spend your day here, reading in the living— I miss you when you aren’t around me.”
You wish there was a way to burn these words into your brain so you could have them at any time, to hear his voice say these things to you. This validation that he has felt the same after these long, horrible days of practically ignoring each other.
Bringing your hand to his cheek, you turn Javier’s gaze back to you, and study him as you feel the fine hairs of his beard under your fingertips. He looks tired, even behind his glasses you can see the deep longing for rest in his eyes. You don’t think he’s used to rejection either.
Javier leans into your touch with a soft hum and you could almost lose your breath from the tenderness. You want to hold him, bury your nose in his hair and tell him to rest with you. Just laying together, his big body between your legs and head on your stomach, until the inevitable rising of the sun. You can hardly bring yourself to imagine how beautiful Javi must look by the light of the morning.
“Come here.” You whisper, though it’s barely audible, as you rise up on your knees so you are flush against his side, looking down at him. Before you kiss him, Javier kisses you, and your hand floats down from his cheek to wrap your arms around his glorious neck.
Javi wastes no time, his one big hand dragging up your spine to squeeze the back of your neck, holding your against him. And with the other, letting his thick fingers dig into the soft flesh of your ass. You can feel the desperation in his skin, and you want all of it, this exquisite juxtaposition of feeling both safe in his arms but that he could also crush you with his desire.
What was life before this? Before Javier’s thick moans into your mouth, his heavy wet finger tips tracing. He takes up all the air in the room and you don’t stop him. He is everything.
You break off the kiss for a moment and remove his glasses. “I missed you too.”
“I’ve only touched you once, but I have spent every day thinking about you. Kissing you. Having you.” He says, pulling you impossibly closer to him. “It’s all I’ve wanted, every day.”
“Why didn’t you tell me.” You ask, and you can’t help the confused look on your face but Javier doesn’t respond. You search his face anyway longing for something heartfelt, like he was locked up in his head, consumed by his feelings for you, like you were. Instead, he kisses you again. Swallowing any upsetting feeling you’ve had since you’ve touched him last.
Kissing Javier is a soft pleasure all in its own, but you want more. More skin. More contact. To ache around him again. To show him how much you truly missed him.
“Let me take care of you.” You whisper, your palm trailing flat down the man’s chest. You get lower and lower, kissing along the beautiful exposed skin of his neck, dragging your hand down the soft black fabric until you reach the drawstring of Javi’s pants.
“Are you sure?” He asks, and you feel his body stiffen as he looks around.
You nod, pushing your legs out from underneath you so you’re laying flat on the couch, your face practically in his lap. “Just relax.”
Javier lets all the air escape from his chest as you pull on the pants and he lifts his hips so you can get them down his thighs.
He watches you with heavy eyes, his mouth falling open as you kiss up the underside of his length, hardening under your lips. Swirling your tongue around the tip, you rest your head on Javier’s lower abdomen lazily, feeling him grow even more in your hand as you stroke him.
“Shit..” He says through his teeth, smoothing your hair back out of your face for you.
You continue to take your time teasing him. Humming in delight as Javier can barely contain himself, thrusting up into your hand shamelessly. He keeps his eyes closed, hands in your hair and you can feel the relief radiating from him. He was desperate for touch.
“Oh, Javi.” You coo, as his head falls back on to the couch, fucking up into your hand and you swear you can hear him whimper. This feeling of power over Javier is absolutely intoxicating, to feel so disconnected from him all week then to have him almost pathetically trying to relieve himself with any bit of human contact you’ll allow him.
“Look what you do to me.” He growls. “Fucking your ha-and...”
Javier reaches around, taking his length from your delicate grasp and pushes you lightly into his pelvis.
“You’re so fucking — soft.” He grunts, tapping his throbbing head against your lips before dragging his cock along your face.
You smile, letting him. Revealing your tongue for a moment to tease him once more.
“Thought you wanted to take care of me.” He says, his voice tight and you feel his hand in the back of your hair as he continues to run his length along your face. Grinning as his grip tightens, he doesn’t hurt you, it’s just about the control.
“I do.” You moan, as Javi softly pushes and pulls your head in a rhythmic motion, just hovering over him.
“Open your mouth.” He mumbles and you do what you’re told.
Javier motions your neck down, pulling you slowly over him, taking just his head in your mouth. “Is this okay sweetheart?”
“Mhm.” You whimper around him, your thighs involuntarily rubbing together, searching for some kind of relief from the arousing pull of his voice.
“Yeah? F-Fuck your pretty mouth.” He grunts, thrusting up slowly, stretching your lips to accommodate his thickness. You close your eyes, focusing on the fullness, calming your breath to take him.
“Stay just like this.” Javier sighs, his other hand tangling into your hair to keep you in place and you hum in agreement. Then he thrusts — quickly like he’s actually fucking you and it comes as a surprise but the moan that drips from his mouth almost instantly is enough to make you squeeze your thighs tighter. You have never felt a high like this, being exactly what Javier wants.
You dig your finger nails into his thighs as he takes you, a blunt, bruising force to the back of the throat and you can’t help but gag.
“That’s a good girl.” He says, “Taking my dick in your hot fucking mouth. I love that sound.”
You gag once more and Javier pulls out to you gasping. Spit suspended from your mouth to his cock and you watch it for a moment before grinning up at Javi.
“You’re so fucking cute.” He shakes his head in disbelief, wiping the saliva from your mouth.
“I’ve never done that before.” You smile, looking down slightly embarrassed as you wonder if you were even any good.
“You keep saying that...” Javi’s voice trails off as he pulls your dress up to knead your behind. You love having his hands on you, playing with you. “But you’d never know...”
You try to suppress your satisfied smile, flattening your palms around the base of Javier’s shaft, you take him back in your mouth.
“Fuck...” he exhales long and slow, grabbing a rough handful of your ass before pushing you down on to him, taking him completely down your throat and keeps you there. Your eyes water, and your leg kicks out before he lets you breathe again, coming up for air with a cough you look up at him and he looks down at you like the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen.
——
Javier pulls you back up against his side, and he looks up at you as he’s slumped down into the couch. You wrap your arms back around his neck, fluttering your fingers through his hair and he nuzzles your chest, pressing his lips into your skin. You wish he was like this always, soft in your arms.
Javi hooks a finger into the top of your dress and pulls down, freeing your breasts, nipples hard in attention and he takes one in his mouth. Your cradle his head as he sucks on the buds and you let your own fall back slowly, relishing in the feeling of his tongue and his lips, the brushing of his moustache and the digging of his nose and how sweet he looks in your arms. This is too much, you’re going dizzy.
Javier helps you pull your dress over his head and his lips quickly return to your nipples. His big warm hands squeezing your bust harshly, alternating with his teeth scraping the sensitive flesh and completely pressing his face into your chest. Even as you climb into his lap, on top of him completely nude, his tongue doesn’t give up until you pull his face up to yours for a kiss.
He tastes like everything you want to drown in and it’s heady, like a force you must fight before it completely consumes you, but you don’t want to.
“Fuck.” You gasp, grinding your hips along Javi’s length, desperate for more.
“Oh, god.” He chokes, dropping his forehead to your shoulder. “Are you going to fuck me this time, sweetheart?”
“Yeah..” You whine, reaching between your bodies.
“Yeah? You’re gonna bounce that wet little pussy on my dick?” His voice shakes into your neck, and it’s such a contrast from his stern “Get on your bed.” from days ago.
You nod, kissing up his jaw in this sudden codependency, his need to feel every inch of you as you both fall back into the couch.
“Relax, Javi. Let me do this for you.” You coo, sinking down on to him. You hum from the incredible stretch and Javier groans right into your ear.
“That pussy is so fucking tight.” He says, out of breath. “Don’t move.”
You obey him, stilling in his lap and Javier lifts his head from the safe space between your neck and your shoulder and he looks up at you.
“What if I just held you here like this.” He says, almost to himself, his hands coming up to your ass. “Stuffed full of my dick and I didn’t let you move.”
“Javi...” You whine.
“Would you still be my good little girl?”
“Javi...” You whine louder, your chest feeling like it’s going to collapse, Javier’s fingers digging into you and he gives you two small thrusts.
“You love being my good girl, don’t you?” Javier whispers, pushing your hair behind your shoulders.
More than anything.
“Yes.” You gasp.
“I know you do.” He says, guiding you slowly up and down. “Just sucking my dick made this pussy a dripping mess.”
“I love it.” You groan as the sound of your skin against his gets louder as you work your hips for him.
Javier looks a moment away from possession and it just fuels you, for you have him where you always want him and you want this to be the death of him.
You still again, but only for a moment to steady yourself as you get up on your feet.
“Shit..” Javier sighs, before he turns you both with your arms wrapped around him, his back now against the arm rest and his legs straight out along the couch. “There you go, baby.”
You reach behind you, finding your balance with your grip on his knees and you pull your hips up.
“Oh my fucking god.” Javier gasps, running his hand down his face and you push your hips down slowly, watching him and in this moment he is really yours.
Fighting through the burning in your arms and your legs, you give him everything you’ve got. Mewing in the pleasure of seeing him underneath you like this, needing you like this. Submitting to the grinding of your hips and the wetness that aches around him. You wish you could see yourself on top of him, your chest bouncing, skin glowing in sweat so he knows exactly what he could have, whenever he wanted it.
“Your pussy is so fucking pretty.” Javier says, his thumb dragging across your mound and down to your clit, that is begging for attention and the moment his fingertip grazes the sensitive nerve your legs clamp together. But he doesn’t stop. Even as his length falls from your body from the increased height of your hips, Javier’s hand doesn’t retreat from the soft thighs it’s wedged between. Circling your clit over and over, your arms buckle and you hold your breath. You thought you had the power but even on top of him you’re just putty in his hand and he knows exactly what to do to make you sing.
“Are you going to squirt for me again?” He rasps, his other hand pushing you down into his lap. “I want to watch this pretty little pussy squirt all over me.”
“Put it back.” You gasp, trying to force your legs open.
“Yeah, baby? Do you need my dick?” Javi teases, pushing at your thigh to open up for him again. He finally eases his dizzying pressure on your clit and holds you just above his pulsing head, slick with you. Running his tip along your folds, you try to sink down on to him, but he keeps you suspended.
“Beg me.” He demands. “You know I love the way you say my fucking name.”
“Please, Javi.” You whine, grinding your hips into nothing. “Please, I love your cock so much, give it to me.”
You push yourself up and fall forward so your hands are on his chest, “Please, Javi. Make me squirt again. Only you know how to fucking do it”
“Oh, fuck.” He groans, pushing up into you sharply despite your yelp. “Anything for my good little girl.”
Javier pulls you down, flush against his chest, still clothed against your’s nude and he wraps his arms around you. He smells like amber and fresh linens as always. Summer. A sunset. The breeze off the ocean and wine. Safe.
His grip around you tightens as you inhale him, pounding up into you as he finds your ear, and his voice is like syrup, “I’m going to take care of you sweetheart. Going to make this pussy cum. You tell me okay? I want to see it. Want to see you fucking soak me. Don’t by shy, my good little girl. Give it to me.”
“Fuck, Javi.”
“You’re so fucking incredible. Taking my big dick in this perfect little pussy. Let go, Claude. Cum for me, angel.”
You groan lewdly and Javi’s hand comes down on your mouth.
“Shh. Shh. Shh.” He warns, and you sigh into his palm. Angel.
This pace is overwhelming, and as he’s restricted your limbs there really is nothing you can do but take it, trying to keep your thighs from clamping together every time Javier brushes that incredible spot within you. Your moans getting longer, from an even deeper part of your throat every time. Your core twists and tightens as he brings you there, unlike anyone else ever has.
“Javi, now!” You exclaim, barely recognizing the screech in your voice and Javier pulls out. His lap wet with you.
“Oh that’s a good fucking girl.” He says, kissing the top of your head as you fall to his side. “That’s so fucking hot.”
Your house guest’s impressive length twitches in his hand as he strokes himself, his nose buried in your hair as you nuzzle his chest in hazy delight and he keeps whispering, “Fucking you is such a dream. You make it so hard not to just nut in that tight fucking pussy.”
You hum, lifting our head up and kissing him softly. “Cum for me.”
“Yeah?” He swallows.
“Please, Javi.” You sigh.
“Where?” He asks, stroking himself harder.
It takes all your strength, but you slip silently off the couch and on to your knees. “On my face.”
“Jesus fucking Christ.” He says, getting up quickly.
Javier takes your chin delicately in his hand, stroking himself with vigor with the other, and you display your tongue for him, feeling the weight of his cock on it instantly.
“Such a good girl, letting me cum on your pretty fucking face like this. I don’t deserve you. So fucking— pretty.” He groans, with everything left and in this moment you have him, again.
——
You wake in your bed, and you know it’s late because you’re hit by a wall of heat followed swiftly by disappointment when you realize you are, once again, alone. With your arm spread out at your side, you know you are going to be met with nothing but empty sheets and you still feel it at the pit of your stomach anyway.
You sit up with a sigh, back to normal you suppose. Another day of existing separately, but together with only your lost puppy sense of self and a fascination for this man to sustain you.
Then you see him. Javier leaning up against your balcony door with his coffee, wearing only his pyjama bottoms. He hears you stirring and looks back with a smile, “Good morning.”
——
Tags: @pascalisperfect @thefinalgurl @we-are-like-a-timebomb @ssppoorrkk @headsindreams @kehrite @nerdyknightwritersblog @tangledlove27 @chipotle-pour-moi @jokersdoll @zea-is-amazing @someplace-darker @kaylaylaylayla @spacenerdsebby @forever-rogue @fionnthebandersnacc @colourmeinblue @longitud-de-onda @dogsinspace @spitmillk @staellula @crazinessgraveyardsandcartoons @leo-moon @mandoandyodito @bonkybaaarnes @sadthotsonlylove @ah-callie @astrolo-galaxy @lockedoutofmyotherblog @hayley-the-comet @boybalm @casjason @mrsparknuts @blushingwueen @ignimbritetcax @benakenalove @fioccodineveautunnale @exrebelshocktrooper @pascalisthepunkest @sav-a-nna @ithinkhesgaybutwesavedmufasa @solarwars @cumberbitching @rae-gar-targaryen @tabalugax @lokiaddicted @roxypeanut @ezraslittlebirdie @thisainttheway @none-of-your-bullshit @mand0-l0rian @assaultsofthought
Love, Zelda
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theswarmanthology · 2 years ago
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Myrthe, 21, The Netherlands
Fast Facts: How long have you been a fan?: 5-8 years Did you get to see MCR live before this tour?: No, this tour was my first time seeing MCR How many shows on this tour did you attend in total?: 1 Favorite album: Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge Show experience out of 10: 10 Did you cry at your show?: No
Which date of the tour did you attend? 06/02/22, Ahoy, Rotterdam, Netherlands
When did you get your tickets for your show? Was it a struggle, or were they easy to grab? I actually got tickets for the show in Bologna, Italy first, since they hadn’t announced any in the Netherlands the first time around. So I figured, if I’m gonna have to travel anyway I should just plan a vacation and go to Italy for a week even though the Germany shows are closer. I had an entire trip planned including plane tickets, a hotel and some small excursions to Rome and Florence. Obviously the pandemic started a few months later and that all went out the window. I was very sad my show and trip got canceled/postponed and cried a lot. The show got moved by two years, and a month (from July to June I think) and I couldn’t make it to Italy at the new date anymore. But then they suddenly announced new Europe dates including one in Rotterdam so I could go! Getting the tickets for that was pretty easy and I was so excited when I got my tickets!
Did you attend with anyone else? With my dad
What did you wear? Black jeans, a black sleeveless t-shirt and black canvas shoes (boots? Not sure if they count as boots or sneakers or whatever)
Where were your seats? Pit, center stage!
What was your favorite song(s) from the setlist they played at your show? It’s not a fashion statement it’s a deathwish!!
What song were you most hoping to hear? Did you get to hear it? I love their entire discography so I was happy for them to play anything! Some of my favorites they didn’t play were sharpest lives, desert song and heaven help us but they did play sleep, deathwish, skylines and give em hell and many other songs I love!
What was your favorite moment from the show? I don’t have a specific moment, more something that was spread out across the entire show: I loved hearing the entire crowd sing along to the songs and singing with everyone. It felt magical. Especially during Mama and Famous Last Words, it’s incredible to hear everyone. Also seeing Welcome To The Black Parade was amazing because it’s such a classic. Really felt like, ‘wow, shit, that’s actually My Chemical Romance up there. They’re real!’
What was the most unexpected moment from the show? The thing that felt the most unexpected should really have been the most obvious thing actually: the start of the show and the band actually walking on stage and starting to play. I guess I was still very nervous they would cancel last minute, and the static before the show seemed to last an eternity and it didn’t feel real. And suddenly they were actually right there, and it felt like a huge surprise.
Did you snag any merch? What pieces? Yeah! I got the haunted castle Newark NJ shirt and the black swarm one with the yellow/green fly
Many fans describe seeing MCR live as feeling like coming home. Did you experience anything like that at your show? Yeah! It’s one thing I don’t really have words for but it definitely felt like magic, coming home and the best night of my life. It’s just that those words don’t even begin to cover the experience.
Thanks, Myrthe! They can be found on Tumblr at @extinctioninthemorningrays.
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drarryruinedme7 · 4 years ago
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Last year I made a post with all my fave Drarry fics from my first year of fandom. Have my second year wrap up! Listed by Rating and then length. 
RATING: TEEN AND UP AUDIENCES
Beautiful by @xx-thedarklord-xx​​ (2017; 8.9k)
Summary: With the second task looming closer, Harry escapes to the Black Lake to open the egg, in the hopes of avoiding Myrtle. The Mersong isn't just helpful in figuring out that Mermaids are real, it attracts his very own handsome Merman.
*I didn’t know I love merpeople AUs until I read this one. It was cute and sweet and I’m really glad I read it. 
Hermione Granger's Hogwarts Crammer for Delinquents on the Run by @waspabi​​ (2017; 93.3k)
Summary: 'You're a wizard, Harry' is easier to hear from a half-giant when you're eleven, rather than from some kids on a tube platform when you're seventeen and late for work.
*What can I say. This is a masterpiece, it absolutely entered my heart to never leave it again. Best AU ever!!!
Away Childish Things by @letteredlettered​​ (2018; 153.8k)
Summary: Harry gets de-aged. Malfoy has to help him.
* This has been the turning point of my Drarry passion this year. First, I discovered Lettered (good Lord why hadn’t I before?!) and then, well. This fic brought out so many feelings in me and I’ve already re-read it something like 5 or 6 times in the span of a few months. Amazing.
RATING: MATURE
you’ve got the antidote for me by Kandakicksass (2018; 20.7k)
Summary: When Harry Potter unintentionally severs their soulbond before it can fully form, Draco Malfoy resigns himself to a slow death and decides not to burden Harry with a soulmate he's made it very clear he doesn't want.He's never been selfless before, but for Harry, he can try.
* The angst!! It’s usually not my cuppa, but this was bittersweet and just so well written, I couldn’t stop reading. Find the rec for this one at this post.
RATING: EXPLICIT
Give Me Sweet Oblivion by @tryslora​​ (2012; 4k)
Summary: Italy seems like a long way to go to keep a fetish secret. But the club is exclusive, and the far away location, and Muggle nature, promises anonymity from Wizarding Britain. The only problem is that sometimes, great minds think alike.
*Super hot, I love finding old gems like this one. Plus, Italy. Go, folks!
Shiny Things, Slightly Damaged by @lqtraintracks​​ (2020; 5.3k)
Summary: Harry may not ever have had to see it if McGonagall hadn’t decided it was a good idea to hold a ceremony on the grounds outside before the Sorting in the Hall. And by ‘it’ he’s referring to Draco Malfoy on a motorbike.
*jsklajdksajfa This one! THIS ONE! Slayed me. I read it feverishly and then like, fainted at Draco on a motorbike.... this fic surprised me and I 100% loved it.
A Ghost of Blissful Feelings by @alpha-exodus​​ (2020; 6k)
Summary: Harry hadn't expected to spend his eighth year fucking Draco Malfoy, but it's the only thing that helps him let go.
*Dunno guys, I’m amazed by how much this one hit me. You should read the tags before diving in, but it was darkish in the right way, Harry and Draco suffers and find peace in a ‘’special’’ way, but I stand by it. Hot and intense.
Tell Me (What you Need) by @keyflight790​​ (2019; 6k)
Summary: Even though Harry was paying for his Dom, there were limits; breaking points in which someone would refuse, no matter how many Galleons were pushed in their direction.
*Okay, I may be biased because this is a gift for me, but Chris never lets down with her amazing writing and this has everything I need and more: Dom!Rentboy!Draco and a perfectly sweet Harry with a Daddy!kink. I mean.
Dangerous by Faith Wood (2014; 6.3k)
Summary: Being trapped in a dungeon with Malfoy — who's a werewolf, a former Death Eater, and a giant git — is definitely dangerous. Harry has no reason to be excited. None at all.
*Y’all know Faith Wood is like my n.1 fave Drarry author. I have no idea why I had never read this one though!!! It’s actually phenomenal, scorching hot and just dsjkafjaks love this werewolf!Draco. OMG.
Scent and Sensibility by aidaninkling (2018; 7.5k)
Summary: [...] Draco's always known he'd be married off as a trophy omega, but suddenly his mother's trying to make him king by promising him to some stupidly good-looking alpha and she just won't stop smiling at him. Does fate's cruelty know no end?!
*This blew my mind. A/B/O AU so hot I melted while reading it and I loved it so much that I re-read it three times IN A ROW. No kidding. Read it. 
The Eighth Tale by @letteredlettered​​ (2012; 12k)
Summary: Draco Malfoy tries to fix the past, but instead mucks it up some more. For Harry, it all becomes quite clear.
*Back to Lettered. I love Time Travel fics, and this just delivered perfectly. The ending was also enigmatic enough to keep me wandering, which I always appreciate in these kind of stories. 
Sex, Lies and Veritaserum by @letteredlettered​​ (2011; 17.9k)
Summary: This entire fic is one long conversation about sex.
*LOL alright, I’ve developed a new obsession this year (clearly). This was ...gosh! Hot but it also gives away a certain level of intimacy and trust between Draco and Harry to be so open about their kinks... it was perfect.
On One’s Knees by pir8fancier (2008; 33.8k)
Summary: The war is over and to the victors go the spoils.
* The fic which made me fall in love with DownAndOut!Draco. 
The Pirate and the Prince by @nerdherderette​ (2019; 49.2k)
Summary: Draco can't believe that fate and circumstance have made him a stowaway on the Master of Death's ship. He doesn't know what's worse: the dread pirate's legendary vendetta against the aristocracy, or the fact that his captor is the most infuriating yet irrefutably fascinating man Draco has ever met.
*Okay y’all. Nerd is a great person and author. She is phenomenal. And this fic shows it so well. The pirate!AU the Drarry fandom both needed and deserved. Sublime.
Unhook the Stars by jad (2016; 70.5k)
Summary: [...] Seventy-thousand words of pornographic discourse between two boys-turned-men that still haven't learned how to communicate like normal people – with words. Guest appearances by Pansy Parkinson, Neville Longbottom, Hermione Granger, Blaise Zabini, Teddy Lupin, Gregory Goyle, the Weird Sisters, ex-wives, several Weasleys, a Boggart, and a Honey Badger.
*Again, Dom!Draco and such a beautiful sub!Harry. They stole my heart. In this fic they grow up together through the aftermath of the war and they just... they have this intense Dom/sub relationship, I can’t... explain how much I loved this. Scorpius also makes his appearance and it’s so real and cute!
Such Great Heights by aideomai (2015; 93.3k)
Summary: Draco Malfoy, wide-eyed and pale and in a decidedly ragged shirt, was crouched next to the pile of whatever the dragon had been eating. Harry threw himself to a halt and yelled, “Merlin, how many times do I have to save your life?”
*This is one of the last ones I’ve read. Find my rec for it here. Such a cool fic, with a shunned Draco who gets to be so happy in the end, it made me happy too.
Burn The Witch by @lettersbyelise​​ (2019; 95.8)
Summary: When Harry Potter is sent in to investigate Draco Malfoy’s successful potions company, posing as Draco’s bodyguard, he doesn’t know the case will launch a series of events that will change his life — and Draco’s. A story about choices, scars, Chopin piano pieces, and finding all kinds of love in the most unexpected places.
*I do not have the words to express what this fic means to me. First of all, it’s how I met Elise who’s an amazing person and who I’m glad to call friend. She’s the sweetest. And also incredibly talented. This fic will take your breath away from the first word to the last one. Smol!Scorpius is perfectly characterised and my absolute favourite bit of the fic. 
Who we are in the shadows by @quicksilvermaid​​ (2019; 99.7k)
Summary: What happens when you’re forced to become the very thing you despise? Ex-Auror Harry Potter, tossed out of the Ministry for something he had no control over, has been looking for a way back to his former life. When he comes across Draco Malfoy in the criminal underbelly of Wizarding London and in need of protection, Harry figures bringing him in to face the Ministry's justice is his ticket back to everything he's lost. But nothing is exactly as it seems. Not even Harry himself. And as he gets drawn further and further into Malfoy's world of honour and deception he finds himself questioning everything he thought he knew—about his childhood nemesis, the Ministry job he misses so much, and most of all, about himself. What happens when you’re forced to see that you were wrong?
*Another incredible person who I got to know better thanks to her breathtaking storytelling and her sweetness for sharing it with me. Quick made something amazing with this fic and I urge you to read it. It was my first creature fic ever, first time I read about werewolves and I totally fell in love with it. Sheer perfection. 
Freedom to be by @quicksilvermaid​​  (2019; 169.5k)
Summary: Harry Potter is the Boy Who Lived. 12 years after the war, he's become the Boy Who Lived For Everyone Else. He has the perfect wife. The perfect house. The perfect job. The perfect friends. Only nothing feels perfect. Until one day he stumbles across a club called Release and begins a journey of self-discovery that takes him to a very different place.
*Well, could I just miss out on another one of Quick’s great works? With, again, Dom!Draco!??? No, I couldn’t! This is such a great exploration of BDSM and what it means and Harry’s path into it. 
19 Years and 5 Minutes Later by TheMightyFlynn (2015; 202.8k)
Summary: Five minutes after his happily-ever-after, Harry finds himself locked in the public loos with an angry Draco Malfoy and a need that he has denied for 19 years.
*Find my rec for this fic here. It’s really long and has Ginny bashing, but it’s totally worth it!! 
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iam93percentstardust · 4 years ago
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i was about to ask you to continue your marvels unsolved ‘verse but then i saw your specific ships so i’m going to ask for a fantasy au with winteriron!! but tbh you should do whatever makes you happy it’s your birthday month!!! (happy birthday! your writing makes me so happy thank you so much for it)
Thank you so much!! I’m so happy you like my writing!!!
I ended up being inspired by the magical flower shop AU I wrote last August, but that’s not necessary to read to understand this fic. Since tumblr is still having issues with links, I won’t include the link here but if you’re interested in that one, it’s Chapter 27 of AU-gust
As always, this fic can be found on my ao3!
Roses and Rowan
It’s storming when Bucky drives past Ravenspoint’s limits. The rain is coming down hard enough that he almost misses the sign for the little town in all the gloom, but then there’s a flash of lightning, illuminating the foreboding faces of the town patriarchs glaring down at those who would dare enter their town. Bucky shivers, resolutely turning away as he continues on his way.
He’s not here for them anyway. The patriarchs are long dead, their only descendants long since fled. There’s another flash of lightning, this time illuminating the hill off to the left and the old manor on the hilltop. From what little bit he can see through the storm, it looks like it was once a stately mansion but it’s falling into disrepair now. Bucky blinks and suddenly he can see the golden glimmer of the wards around the whole hill, sealing the house and grounds off from the would-be adventurers brave enough to test their mettle against the ghosts of Rosewood Manor.
Another shiver runs down his spine. The magic is strangely familiar, though he can’t place where he might have seen it before. He blinks again and the golden glimmer of the wards disappears from his view. “Spooky,” Bucky mutters. In the passenger seat, Alpine mraows her agreement. He reaches over and scratches under her chin, grinning when she purrs loud enough to drown out the music coming from the car speakers.
They pull into town a few minutes later, only knowing it by the stoplight Bucky just barely manages to make out through the sheets of rain pounding down. He would have missed it otherwise, the storm too heavy and the buildings too dark to see in the night. Ravenspoint is a small town with a population of only three thousand people, exactly one stoplight, and two streets that run the length of town, connected by a series of smaller cross streets. It’s exactly the last place Bucky ever thought he would find himself and yet here he is, searching for someone who had made it clear he didn’t want to be found.
“What am I doing, Alpine?” he asks the cat. “He told me he didn’t want me to come after him.”
Alpine can’t respond but she rolls over, exposing her belly to him, and he gets the sense of reassurance through their bond.
“I know,” he responds. “Tellin’ people he wants to be left alone when that’s usually the last thing he wants. But let’s be real here, this place is pretty far off the beaten track.”
Another pulse of reassurance.
“Well if you ask me—” the helper figment starts to say.
“I didn’t,” Bucky interrupts before it can say anything else. Damn figment’s been more trouble than it’s worth this whole trip. “Where’s the turn?”
The figment gives him a sullen look. “In five hundred yards, off to the right.”
Even as the figment says it, Bucky spots the glowing lights of the shop in the distance. He slows down and pulls over into one of the parking spots off the street, peering up through the rain at the shop sign above the door.
“Bluebells and Belladonnas,” he reads. “He always did like alliteration.”
“Great,” the figment says waspishly. “Can I go now? I got a hot—”
Bucky flicks his fingers and the figment disappears back to whatever dimension figments come from. Alpine flicks her tail lazily, giving off a sense of amusement and a little bit of hunger. Bucky laughs and scratches her chin again.
“Yeah, I would’ve let you eat it if it wouldn’t have given you indigestion,” he says. “’nother couple of minutes. I’m sure he has fresh tuna for you.”
He sighs and looks at the shop again. The sign on the front says it’s closed but there are lights on inside both in the shop itself and in the apartment above the shop, telling him that the owner is probably still working.
“So what’re you doing sitting out here?” he asks himself. He gives another baleful look at the stormy clouds and the rain still pouring down, groans, and then shrugs his hood up over his head. Nothing for it. The rain isn’t supposed to let up for another couple of hours and Bucky doesn’t feel like sitting in the car that long.
“You gonna be good out here?” he asks Alpine. She blinks slowly at him. That’s a yes, then.
Quick as he can, he gets out and dashes for the cover the awning provides. Once there, he throws his hood back and then knocks on the door. He waits about a minute before knocking again, this time a lot louder. It takes a moment before he sees a person-shaped blob behind the water-streaked glass. He knocks for a third time. The person gets larger as they move closer and then the door unlocks and swings open with a wave of the person’s hand.
“What—”
“You know,” Bucky says, stepping over the threshold. He bites back a shiver as a wave of magic washes over him, verifying that he has no ill intent. “You are a hard person to find.”
“Yeah, some people would take that as a hint,” Tony Stark states flatly, crossing his arms over his chest as he glares at Bucky.
~
Bucky is born with the ability to see magic. Or, at least, that’s the sfigmentlest way to explain it, if not the most accurate. Just about everyone can “see” magic but what they see are actually just the effects of magic—what was produced or what was done. Bucky has the ability to actually see the threads of magic. It’s a Barnes family gift, although none of the Barnes mages have had this ability in nearly two centuries. Bucky is the first in a very long time and because of that, he ends up having to go to school rather than being trained at home by the family mage (also known as Ma to Bucky and his sister).
It's at school that he meets his best friend, Stevie, and Stevie’s other best friend, Tony. Tony is a bit of an oddball, not that Bucky and Steve are incredibly popular either. Steve should be popular because of his dragon heritage and the power that brings him but he comes into his inheritance late and has a strong sense of morality and that gets him into trouble, more often than not. And Bucky just ends up following behind him.
But Tony—Tony is hard to pin down. He has incredible amounts of power, which is unusual in a mage from the Jarvis line. He’s a lot younger than most of the other kids, which isn’t so unusual for people with a lot of power—Bucky can think of a couple examples off the top of his head of people who went to school early because of their powers—but all those people went to school early because they didn’t have control, and Tony is nothing if not controlled. He doesn’t much look like either of his parents and the way he acts sometimes… it’s clear that he’s been through a lot, is all.
It’s not until their fourth year that Bucky starts putting the pieces together, and it starts when he finds out that Tony doesn’t actually get his powers from the Jarvis line but from the Carbonell line instead. He wasn’t supposed to overhear that but he and Steve had gotten in trouble again and were sitting outside the Headmistress’s office while she finished up a meeting with the Jarvises.
That’s when he’d heard it: “The Carbonell magic is strong in Tony,” the Headmistress had said, and that had been all Bucky had heard as the pieces had started falling into place. It had always puzzled Bucky how Tony’s magic, so suited to big things, had come from the Jarvises, both of whom were more skilled in household charms and enchantments, but if Tony was adopted… Adoption was rare in magical families, as magic was so often tied to filial lines, but it wasn’t unheard of, and that explained so much about Tony.
He spends some time in the library after that, researching the Carbonells. They’re an old line, originating in Italy, before coming to the Americas in the late sixteenth century. They’re known for producing powerful mages with the exact same proficiency in metallurgy that Tony’s always demonstrated. The last of them, Maria, had married one of the Starks, a newer family with a proficiency in elemental magics—another of Tony’s skills, Bucky realizes—and that’s where the trail goes cold. He never finds another mention of the Carbonells, or the Starks for that matter, in any of the old history books.
But there has to be more to the story, Bucky knows. Because there’s Tony, who looks just like Maria Carbonell, and that means there has to be more. However, he never brings it up. That’s Tony’s story, and if he doesn’t want to tell them, he doesn’t have to.
He never stops hoping that Tony will, though.
~
Tony is looking at him now, eyes dark and arms crossed. Bucky has changed into a pair of sweats and a t-shirt he’d brought with him as his clothes had ended up drenched, even from just the short run from the car and back out to grab Alpine and his travel bag. His clothes are drying by the fire now as Alpine explores the apartment, sniffing around curiously. Bucky is curious as well, but he’s been so busy drinking in the sight of Tony after almost two years of nothing that he hasn’t taken the time yet to look around.
“What are you doing here, Bucky?” Tony asks eventually.
He shrugs. “I came to find you.”
“Thought I made it obvious I didn’t want to be found.”
“I thought we had unfinished business,” Bucky says quietly. He gazes at Tony steadily until Tony squirms and turns away, busying himself with the coffeepot on the counter. He prepares two cups of coffee, one with more sugar than most people can stand and one with more milk than coffee, and hands the one with milk to Bucky.
Bucky takes one sip and blinks in surprise. “This is decaf,” he says.
“Yeah, and?”
“Tony, you don’t drink decaf. You called it the devil’s brew.”
There’s a hint of a smile lurking around the corners of Tony’s mouth as he raises his own cup to his mouth. “I’d forgotten about that.”
“Seems like you’ve forgotten a lot of things.”
“Like what?”
“Like how I promised you I’d follow you anywhere.”
Tony stills for a moment before he puts his cup back down on the counter. “Bucky—”
“Tony, why?” Bucky asks, not even bothering to hide the anguish in his voice. It’s how he’s felt every day since Tony disappeared two years ago. “You told me we’d talk the next day, only I woke up to find you’d run. Did I push too hard? Was it not what you wanted?” He stops, frustrated and upset, and scrubs his hand over his face.
“Bucky, no,” Tony says, dismayed. He moves forward, taking Bucky’s hands between his. “It wasn’t you. You have to believe me. It was never you.”
“Then what was it?”
Tony bites his lip, hesitating. Even without using his Sight, Bucky can see golden magic swirling under Tony’s skin, pooling at his hands where they’re touching Bucky’s. He blinks and now he can see his own magic, cool silver, gathering at his fingertips, aching to reach out and touch Tony’s. Their magic has always been compatible, always stronger when they’re together, even before Bucky figured out his complicated feelings for Tony.
“Doll?” he asks, immediately regretting the pet name when it makes Tony flinch. He doesn’t take it back though. This is who he is, a little old-fashioned and a little flirty and a lot in love with Tony Stark.
“It’s me,” Tony eventually admits, looking down at their hands as though he can see the magic too. “I got scared. It’s—I’m not who you think I am.”
“Not what? Not a Jarvis? Tony, I’ve known that for ten years.”
Tony’s head jerks up so fast Bucky’s own neck aches in sympathy. “What did you say?”
“Tony, I know you’re not a Jarvis,” Bucky says again, patiently. He’s never admitted this to anyone before, let alone Tony. He can afford to be careful right now.
“How did you know that?” Tony breathes. “We’ve never told anyone.”
“Except for the Headmistress,” Bucky points out. “You prob’ly had to tell her so she could help you with your abilities.”
“We did,” Tony whispers.
He shrugs. “Stevie and I overheard her one time. She said your magic came from the Carbonell line. I got curious, thought it might explain why you and the Jarvises are so different, so I looked it up.”
“You didn’t think that was invading my privacy?”
The words are harsh but Tony doesn’t look upset. He looks—hopeful, almost, like he wants to believe Bucky knows everything about him and doesn’t judge him for it. It makes Bucky bold and he steps forward, right into Tony’s space, as he tugs one of his hands free and uses it to tuck one of Tony’s curls behind his ear, fingers brushing against his cheek.
“You are a puzzle I’ve only ever wanted to solve,” Bucky murmurs, bowing his head to rest his forehead against Tony’s. His hand cups Tony’s cheek for the briefest moment and then falls to his shoulder. Tony closes his eyes and inhales shakily. “But the moment the trail went cold, I stopped looking. It didn’t seem right to keep digging.”
“What did you find?” Tony asks.
“Two names: Howard Stark and Maria Carbonell, that’s it.”
Tony nods. “Those were my parents.”
“Were?”
“Could be are. I don’t know where they went after they left me, but I stopped calling them mine the moment they were gone.”
“What happened?” He feels Tony tense under his hand and quickly adds, “If you want to tell me. Don’t feel like you have to.”
“No, it’s—I want to,” Tony says, sounding frustrated. The space between his brows furrows in irritation. “I’ve just never told anyone and—I’m not sure I’m ready to tell the full story yet. It’s a lot.”
“Whatever you’re ready for, then. And when you’re ready for the rest, I’ll be right here to listen.”
Tony takes a deep breath, steadying himself. “I was born at Rosewood Manor,” he says quietly.
“That place outside of town?”
“Mmhmm. That’s my magic you probably saw guarding it.”
Bucky sucks in a sharp breath. “Tony, that place looks like it hasn’t had anyone living there for fifteen years.”
“Over twenty actually. I was three when—when that happened.”
“You were three? And you had that kind of control?”
Tony laughs humorlessly. “Believe me, that night I had no control at all.” He falls silent. Bucky waits for more, but Tony seems to be done talking for tonight, so he turns his head and kisses the corner of Tony’s mouth instead.
“Thank you for telling me,” he says.
Tony grimaces. “Not like I told you much of anything.”
“You told me what you were comfortable with. Believe me, doll, after two years of nothing—”
“You keep doing that,” Tony interrupts. “Calling me doll.”
Bucky hesitates. “I thought you liked it when I did that.”
Tony looks away, a bitter twist to his mouth. “I left.”
“Yeah…”
“I left right after you kissed me because I was scared and couldn’t face up to what was going on between us even though I promised we’d talk.”
Bucky waits, sure that if he stays silent, Tony will explain further. It’s a trick that he’s used in the past and it’s always worked. Sure enough, after another couple moments:
“You know, I was so sure you were dating Steve? Let me finish please,” Tony says calmly, holding up a hand when Bucky opens his mouth. “You don’t know what it was like. I might have met Steve first but it was so clear that you two were a lot closer than I would ever be with him. So yes, I was convinced you two were dating and that I was alone in my feelings and when I found out I wasn’t, I panicked. I thought it was Tony Jarvis you liked, not—”
“I like you,” Bucky interrupts, unable to keep hearing Tony talk about how he’d thought Bucky wasn’t serious about him, when he thinks maybe it’s the only thing he’s ever been serious about. “I like you as Tony Jarvis, Tony Carbonell, Tony Stark, or just plain Tony.”
“Like?” Tony asks shyly.
Bucky grins and kisses the other corner of Tony’s mouth. “Do you think I would have kept searching for you for two years if I didn’t still like you?”
Tony leans back for a moment, searching his eyes for something before he eventually says, “And what about Tony Barnes?”
Bucky’s heart about stops. He wheezes out, “You—”
“It’s not—I needed a name when I came back to Ravenspoint. I didn’t want anyone to know who I was and it’s a small town. People know every other name I go by, but—I didn’t think you’d mind or I wouldn’t—”
Bucky can’t stop himself anymore. He frames Tony’s face in his hands and kisses him soundly. It’s closed-mouthed and chaste and it’s still the best damn kiss he’s ever had, next to the only other time he kissed Tony. Tony’s hands flutter in the air for a second before wrapping around Bucky’s waist, clutching him to him.
“I love you calling yourself by my name,” he says hoarsely, pulling away long enough to get the words out before he kisses Tony again. “And one day, I swear I’ll give you that name for real, forever and always.” This time, it’s Tony who whfigmenters and kisses him again, sucking Bucky’s tongue into his mouth as Bucky’s hands slide back into his hair to hold him right where he wants him.
“Wait,” Tony pants, struggling against Bucky’s grip to move away. Bucky lets him go reluctantly, gratified when Tony only moves a couple inches. “How did you find me?”
“Your magic,” Bucky tells him, trailing kisses across every inch of his face. “It’s been callin’ out to me since the day you left, leavin’ me a trail to follow.”
“Lucky me,” Tony whispers.
And as Bucky kisses him again, unable to resist for a single second, he thinks to himself, No. Lucky me.
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