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fatehbaz · 2 years ago

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"Abolition forgery":

So, observers and historians have, for a long time, since the first abolition campaigns, talked and written a lot about how Britain and the United States sought to improve their image and optics in the early nineteenth century by endorsing the formal legal abolition of chattel slavery, while the British and US states and their businesses/corporations meanwhile used this legal abolition as a cloak to receive credit for being nice, benevolent liberal democracies while they actually replaced the lost “productivity” of slave laborers by expanding the use of indentured laborers and prison laborers, achieved by passing laws to criminalize poverty, vagabondage, loitering, etc., to capture and imprison laborers. Like, this was explicit; we can read about these plans in the journals and letters of statesmen and politicians from that time. Many "abolitionist" politicians were extremely anxious about how to replace the lost labor. This use of indentured labor and prison labor has been extensively explored in study/discussion fields (discourse on Revolutionary Atlantic, the Black Atlantic, the Caribbean, the American South, prisons, etc.), Basic stuff at this point. Both slavery-based plantation operations and contemporary prisons are concerned with mobility and immobility, how to control and restrict the movement of people, especially Black people. After the “official” abolition of slavery, Europe and the United States then disguised their continued use of forced labor with the language of freedom, liberation, etc. And this isn't merely historical revisionism; critics and observers from that time (during the Haitian Revolution around 1800 or in the 1830s in London, for example) were conscious of how governments were actively trying to replicate this system of servitude..

And recently I came across this term that I liked, from scholar Ndubueze Mbah.

He calls this “abolition forgery.”

Mbah uses this term to describe how Europe and the US disguised ongoing forced labor, how these states “fake” liberation, making a “forgery” of justice.

But Mbah then also uses “abolition forgery” in a dramatically different, ironic counterpoint: to describe how the dispossessed, the poor, found ways to confront the ongoing state violence by forging documents, faking paperwork, piracy, evasion, etc. They find ways to remain mobile, to avoid surveillance.

And this reminds me quite a bit of Sylvia Wynter’s now-famous kinda double-meaning and definition of “plot” when discussing the plantation environment. If you’re unfamiliar:

Wynter uses “plot” to describe the literal plantation plots, where slaves were forced to work in these enclosed industrialized spaces of hyper-efficient agriculture, as in plots of crops, soil, and enclosed private land. However, then Wynter expands the use of the term “plot” to show the agency of the enslaved and imprisoned, by highlighting how the victims of forced labor “plot” against the prison, the plantation overseer, the state. They make subversive “plots” and plan escapes and subterfuge, and in doing so, they build lives for themselves despite the violence. And in this way, they also extend the “plot” of their own stories, their own narratives. So by promoting the plot of their own narratives, in opposition to the “official” narratives and “official” discourses of imperial states which try to determine what counts as “legitimate” and try to define the course of history, people instead create counter-histories, liberated narratives. This allows an “escape”. Not just a literal escape from the physical confines of the plantation or the carceral state, an escape from the walls and the fences, but also an escape from the official narratives endorsed by empires, creating different futures.

(National borders also function in this way, to prevent mobility and therefore compel people to subject themselves to local work environments.)

Katherine McKittrick also expands on Wynter's ideas about plots and plantations, describing how contemporary cities restrict mobility of laborers.

So Mbah seems to be playing in this space with two different definitions of “abolition forgery.”

Mbah authored a paper titled ‘“Where There is Freedom, There Is No State”: Abolition as a Forgery’. He discussed the paper at American Historical Association’s “Mobility and Labor in the Post-Abolition Atlantic World” symposium held on 6 January 2023. Here’s an abstract published online at AHA’s site: This paper outlines the geography and networks of indentured labor recruitment, conditions of plantation and lumbering labor, and property repatriation practices of Nigerian British-subjects inveigled into “unfree” migrant “wage-labor” in Spanish Fernando Po and French Gabon in the first half of the twentieth century. [...] Their agencies and experiences clarify how abolitionism expanded forced labor and unfreedom, and broaden our understanding of global Black unfreedom after the end of trans-Atlantic slavery. Because monopolies and forced labor [...] underpinned European imperialism in post-abolition West Africa, Africans interfaced with colonial states through forgery and illicit mobilities [...] to survive and thrive.

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Also. Here’s a look at another talk he gave in April 2023.

[Excerpt:]

Ndubueze L. Mbah, an associate professor of history and global gender studies at the University at Buffalo, discussed the theory and implications of “abolition forgery” in a seminar [...]. In the lecture, Mbah — a West African Atlantic historian — defined his core concept of “abolition forgery” as a combination of two interwoven processes. He first discussed the usage of abolition forgery as “the use of free labor discourse to disguise forced labor” in European imperialism in Africa throughout the 19th and 20th centuries. Later in the lecture, Mbah provided a counterpoint to this definition of abolition forgery, using the term to describe the ways Africans trapped in a system of forced labor faked documents to promote their mobility across the continent. [...]

Mbah began the webinar by discussing the story of Jampawo, an African British subject who petitioned the British colonial governor in 1900. In his appeal, Jampawo cited the physical punishment he and nine African men endured when they refused to sign a Spanish labor contract that differed significantly from the English language contract they signed at recruitment and constituted terms they deemed to be akin to slavery. Because of the men’s consent in the initial English language contract, however, the governor determined that “they were not victims of forced labor, but willful beneficiaries of free labor,” Mbah said.

Mbah transitioned from this anecdote describing an instance of coerced contract labor to a discussion of different modes of resistance employed by Africans who experienced similar conditions under British imperialism. “Africans like Jampawo resisted by voting with their feet, walking away or running away, or by calling out abolition as a hoax,” Mbah said.

Mbah introduced the concept of African hypermobility, through which “coerced migrants challenged the capacity of colonial borders and contracts to keep them within sites of exploitation,” he said.] [...] Mbah also discussed how the stipulations of forced labor contracts imposed constricting gender hierarchies [...]. To conclude, Mbah gestured toward how the system of forced labor persists in Africa today, yet it “continues to be masked by neoliberal discourses of democracy and of development.” [...] “The so-called greening of Africa [...] continues to rely on forced labor that remains invisible.” [End of excerpt.]

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This text excerpt from: Emily R. Willrich and Nicole Y. Lu. “Harvard Radcliffe Fellow Discusses Theory of ‘Abolition Forgery’ in Webinar.” The Harvard Crimson. 13 April 2023. [Published online. Bold emphasis and some paragraph breaks/contractions added by me.]

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itsclydebitches · 1 year ago

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Obviously Nina and Maggie are meant to parallel Crowley and Aziraphale. I don't even need to argue that because Nina outright says it: Crowley is the "hard-bitten one" (like her) and Aziraphale is the "soft one" (like Maggie) who are facing similar relationship stumbling blocks. Just to hammer it home, they're both queer couples with Nina calling Maggie "angel" as a pet name.

I'll come back to that parallel in just a moment. First, I've seen some great meta regarding their justified anger at being paired up for celestial "amusement" and how that reflects the lack of agency humans have in Heaven and Hell's endless attempts to start Armageddon; something that Aziraphale, specifically, may be able to change. (Which, you know, highlights the nuance of this decision. Can he totally fix the broken system from within like he believes? No. Can he, like Gabriel, keep the hosts of Heaven from decimating Earth in the immediate future? Quite possibly.) Nina and Maggie are absolutely right and have every reason to be angry, however, they are missing the context that Crowley and Aziraphale didn't try to pair them up for the hell of it—though it's perfectly understandable why it would come across that way. How are they supposed to learn and understand the intricacies of this plot, especially when Crowley is literally shooing them out the door and telling them to forget everything? Regardless, the audience knows the full story and thus we can see how their subplot mirrors Aziraphale's love for Crowley, beyond the obvious, textual parallel.

Because why is he pairing them up? To keep Crowley safe. Himself too, but the dual nature of that motivation—what helps you automatically helps me and vice versa because we're in this together—just highlights how Aziraphale is approaching the "us" here. He pulled Crowley into the Gabriel debacle because he a) recognized that helping him was the right thing to do and b) knew he needed his partner to succeed. Sure, we could blame Aizraphale for setting it all in motion, but even without knowing that hiding Gabriel was helping to stave off the next Armageddon, Crowley recognizes that Aizraphale was right to help someone, even a someone who told his best friend to shut up and die already. He has a whole (hilarious) apology dance about it. So they're doing this together, as they should. They commit to hiding Gabriel together. They cast the miracle together. They tell lies to their bosses together. All of which ultimately leads to the subterfuge of, "That celestial energy? Just helping two humans fall in love! Oh shit, now we've actually got to accomplish that..." They mess around in Nina and Maggie's lives to try and keep their own loved one safe. Their love is a direct byproduct of Aizraphale and Crowley's.

Of course, they still have every right to be angry about that manipulation, regardless of the fact that it's leading to something they both want and is for the "greater good." However, I think it's crucial that we didn't get a scene that said, "You were wrong to mess around in our lives! ... but we're so glad you did because we're totally in love now and everything's perfect 😊." Maggie and Nina aren't together at the end of the season. They, like Crowley and Aziraphale, care for one another deeply but aren't yet in a place to make that love explicitly romantic. Here, we get a bit of a reversal where the Crowley equivalent—Nina—is the one who needs time and the Aziraphale equivalent—Maggie—is the most verbally devoted, prepared to wait for however long it takes, kinda like how Crowley has waited 6,000+ years.

Nina: I can't start seeing Maggie! When I'm ready, I hope she'll be there, but there isn't any guarantee. Maggie: There is. Nina: You're not helping, angel.

Both Nina and Aziraphale are, at their core, grappling with abuse. For Nina it's the abuse of a romantic partner. For Aziraphale it's the abuse of an institution. The difference is that Nina has gotten out, notably by having her partner dump her. We see throughout the season that Nina cannot let her go, despite knowing that they're bad for each other and despite others telling her as much. She's too deep in the relationship and shows no signs of getting out on her own, even when an objectively better option (Maggie) is right there, begging her to take that step. Nina needed to get dumped in order to achieve that growth. Aziraphale, in VERY sharp contrast, is roped back in by his abusers. Whereas Nina is granted harsh freedom in the form of a key under the mat, Aizraphale is coaxed further into the relationship he likewise isn't prepared to leave, offered what appears on the surface to be a way to fix everything he cares for. Do we think that if Nina's partner had instead texted something optimistic, complimentary, and full of the promise of change that Nina would have listened to her Crowley equivalent here (Maggie) and confidently cut her off? I don't. I think she would have gone straight back to what's familiar, convincing herself that this time will be different. Because that's how abuse works.

From the audience's perspective, Nina and Maggie's conversation is a warning to Crowley, though one he's not yet equipped to understand (as evidence by him doing the opposite of all their advice with Aziraphale). They say, "You powerful beings manipulate us too casually" and Crowley doesn't get how desperate Aziraphale is to fix that as archangel. They say, "I needed to be forcibly freed from my abuser before I could even consider someone I truly love" and Crowley doesn't see how Aziraphale is not just still under his own abuser's thumb, but is getting pulled further in. They say, "Even now that I've seen how much better things can be I'm not ready. It doesn't matter if I love her. It doesn't matter if I'm free. I need time to recover before I can move on to the next step" and Crowley doesn't get that at all, instead kissing Aziraphale rather than continuing to wait like Maggie. That kiss was hard for me to watch because it's abundantly clear how uncomfortable Aziraphale is. He doesn't kiss back. His hands are spasming rather than holding Crowley close. "I forgive you." That's not because he doesn't love Crowley, it's because he's not ready. Nina would have reacted the same way if Maggie had kissed her in the immediate aftermath of escaping her abuse and Aziraphale isn't in the aftermath of his. He's deeper than he's been since the start of the show.

The more I think about it, the more clear it is to me how their relationship and that final conversation was a blueprint for what was about to come. They're in a much better place than Crowley and Aziraphale are. Nina is free of her abuser. No one needed to explain that they had romantic feelings for one another. Crowley, meanwhile, "doesn't understand" until seconds before Aziraphale walks back through the door. No one is trying to keep them apart with the fate of the universe hanging in the background. Yet despite all this, Nina still says, "I'm in no way ready" and Maggie responds, "I understand. I'll wait."

Crowley couldn't wait anymore. Which is understandable and, tragically, is actually part of the solution. One of the things they need to do is talk about what they're "really feeling," so he does that. But unlike Nina, Aizraphale is still in his own abusive relationship and unlike Maggie, Crowley takes the truth too far, kissing him before he was equipped to accept that. Of course the season had to end the way it did. It's not just in character for them both, it validates the OTHER characters functioning as their parallels.

#Good Omens #Good Omens spoilers #Good Omens 2 #Good Omens 2 spoilers #GO2 #GO2 spoilers #mymetas #ineffable husbands #air conditioning

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milkyetoile · 1 year ago

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after this great post by @thesherrinfordfacility about Crowley and Aziraphale’s domestic, it got me thinking about the beautiful contrast between the relationships shown in season 2. it was such a great juxtaposition, a chiaroscuro in writing that seriously left me in awe and ruin, not just from what happened but for how the relationships were laid out in writing.

so here’s an essay on the romance in S2, written by your local arospec lesbian

Gabriel/Beelzebub

essentially, I think this was the “ideal” romance. two beings who were in high positions on opposite sides, having secret meetings to complain about their sides and then falling in love to Buddy Holly’s Everyday…there was an understanding at every meeting that they probably wouldn’t have reasons to meet anymore after they agreed, but they kept meeting anyway. they fell in love in the process until Gabriel placed his memories in the fly that Beelzebub gave him, after getting in trouble for not wanting to continue with armageddon't. and when the whole mystery was solved, they immediately agreed that they just wanted to be together and they did do that. they go off to Alpha Centauri to live happily ever after and both Heaven and Hell will probably leave them alone (probably).

I say it’s ideal because it’s like a movie or book romance. two people meet, get to know each other and fall in love, then conflict!! but once it’s resolved, they get together with a sappy ending. to be clear, I have 0 complaints with this, I’ve shipped them since s1 and they were cute in s2…but I also love how it was set up like the kind of romance both Aziraphale and Crowley were visualizing previously.

Nina/Maggie

this relationship was more realistic and healthier. Nina was in a horrible relationship with an emotionally manipulative partner (kinda parallel to Aziraphale’s experience with Heaven) and Maggie’s a disaster lesbian smitten with her. Maggie tries to make a move on Nina then finds out that Nina already has a partner, then Nina’s partner breaks up with her. then our two favorite idiots try to meddle and matchmake her with Maggie for the sake of the ruse. things go pear-shaped with them getting involved because Maggie wanted to help Aziraphale. but once everything’s done, Maggie and Nina actually talk about things and agreed not to start a relationship because Nina wanted to heal first after her breakup. and they agreed that after that, if Maggie was still interested (which she swore she would be), then they would try.

it was more realistic because they’re humans like us. part of what makes humans such pivotal parts of the story is that we have shorter lifespans that result in an “urgency” in comparison to the non-humans. striving for success, loving people–being on essentially a time limit motivates us to be a lot more direct and straightforward when the situation calls for it. humans have to grow to get what they want. and so, Maggie and Nina, as mature adults, decide to communicate properly and it ends with them not being together yet but having an understanding and being on the same page–a better foundation for romance than what Aziraphale and Crowley imagined for them.

Aziraphale/Crowley

this is the complicated, messy relationship with a generous heaping of unhealthy codependency and unresolved trauma. the slowest of burns, 6,000 years of knowing each other, and yet neither of them really talk. they’ve made some progress since armaggenah. they’ve both been more open in comparison to S1, they have been trying. but 6,000 years of dealing with their individual trauma plus being on opposite sides and needing layers of subterfuge and denial to even have a semblance of friendship…on top of that were the events of arma-fucking-geddon and the aftermath (which included COVID among other things, mind you)–4 or 5 years in comparison is nothing. they were just adjusting and getting comfortable in the new status quo…cranking up the engine, so to say. throughout s2, they both made assumptions about each other. they both clearly talk about wanting to be together but they had different ideas of how that would look like. they were on the same page for a mere sentence then ended up on different books altogether, so to say.

anyway, I’m losing my point bc it’s 5 am here and I’m finally getting sleepy…but it took them a time limit of the apocawhoops for their relationship to progress significantly. and another catastrophe plus a literal intervention from Maggie and Nina for further progress. then, when they’re finally completely honest about what they want between the two of them, it’s when they have two opposing ideas. and those said ideas tie back to their individual trauma and fundamental parts of their characters…honestly, as much as I’d love for them to end up together, they need time apart to grow, Heaven’s interference notwithstanding (looking at you, Metatron). ironically, Aziraphale says, “nothing lasts forever” yet their idea of forever is much longer than humans’ and that resulted in stagnation.

truthfully, I think this was also quite realistic. some relationships don’t work out due to various factors. you could find the person you’d be most compatible with in the world and still end up separating if you’re not emotionally ready. love is incredibly complicated and messy.

Final thoughts:

the ending of this season fucking hurts but honestly, I loved it. I personally love these kinds of stories. and the direction of those final scenes was just…*chef’s kiss*

I’ve rewatched that last scene with them at least 5 times already. am I a masochist? probably lol but seeing their minute expressions really digs in the knife more and I love it.

special mention to Michael Sheen’s acting during and after the kiss, like make it hurt more, why don’t you??

I really loved the juxtaposition and parallels between these relationships. beautifully done, I wish I could write like that. I didn’t think I could respect the phenomenal writers more but here we are.

if you need me, I will be spending the next few days rewatching S2 and reading and possibly writing fanfiction. we'll see.

#good omens s2 #good omens 2 #good omens s2 spoilers #go2 spoilers #good omens season 2 #idk how else to tag I hope I got all the spoilery tags #good omens season 2 spoilers #good omens 2 spoilers

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tellius-to-fodlan · 4 months ago

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Black Eagles Leverage AU

Explanations under the cut

Edelgard and Hubert as the Masterminds felt like an obvious choice to me. Edelgard brought the group together, chooses targets, and generally acts as the leader, while Hubert is the main strategist and pays attention to the logistical things like making sure their gear is in working order.

"Grifter" isn't quite the right word for what Ferdinand does, but he's one of the social faces of the strike force. He uses his connections to get into places and build trust with the marks, and he's quite a capable distraction. Dorothea, however, is full grifter. Building on her acting skills and interpersonal charms, she blends effortlessly into any social scene, tricking marks into playing right into their hands.

Caspar took some convincing to join the strike force, as he dislikes subterfuge, but once he was convinced of the justice of their cause, he was happy to get in there and do some punching when they needed backup, although he tries to do as little deception himself as possible.

Linhardt is clever, has a specific range of interest, and prefers to stay off the field. He'll go on site if he absolutely has to, but usually he'll be at a safe distance, compromising the mark's tech remotely.

I mostly chose Petra as a thief because of how well she does on the thief/assassin class path, but I think she'd also function as a backup hitter. Petra scouts out their path to the prize, escorts Bernadetta there, and then lets Bernadetta do the safecracking and lock picking. I figured Bernie's specialty would be something where she does as little talking as possible, and focuses on the job at hand. I considered second hacker for her, but hacking actually requires a lot of confidence and pulling fast ones on people, and I think she'd freeze up in that situation. Lockwork felt like a good fit for her, especially if she could rely on someone tougher and more confident to actually get her to the prize.

These role posters are just kinda mockups, and I used their school outfits because that's what I could quickly find pictures of that were big enough to work with.

I don't have a story to this AU (yet), I just thought it would be fun

#black eagles #edelgard von hresvelg #hubert von vestra #dorothea arnault #ferdinand von aegir #caspar von bergliez #linhardt von hevring #bernadetta von varley #petra macneary #black eagles leverage au

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gillianthecat · 10 months ago

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Kind of Like Liveblogging: Pit Babe

* Thank you for listening to me, Pit Babe, and giving at least a hint of Charlie and Babe conspiring. I still have no idea what their plot is, but I feel more confident we'll find out in a timely manner (and what little they say could arguably fit my revenge-on-Tony theory).

* Pete & Way!! I'm so excited.

* yes. This interaction was so good. So sexy. I love all of Way's smiles, including his melancholy ones. I love how they hardly even look at each other. I feel like good scenes of hitting on someone in bars are rare in BL. I like how grown up this one feels. (Subtitles were slightly confusing though, was Pete trying to imply that he was or that he wasn't hitting on Way?) I can't wait to see where these two go.

* Oh there's more of them!

* Oh, I am all in on PeteWay. That's it, cancel everything else, I just want to follow their story. I was excited about this pairing, but I didn't expect it to be this good. The way Pete just looks at him. They way he leaned his head on the sofa as Way clutched at his hand. The note! "If you need a drinking buddy..." This is melancholy and grownup in a way that is catnip for me. And the actors are adult enough to handle it.

* Kim! *happy little wiggle dance* So far this episode is tailer-made for me. He's so effortlessly powerful. Winner keeps getting brattier and brattier, hoping each time he can finally push Kim into holding him down and fucking him into submission.

* Plot tidbits revealed. I guess Tony is trying to kidnap or otherwise possess Babe so he can sell him to someone? I'm assuming for his special alpha senses? And it looks like he just fired Kim, although the subtitles were confusing.

* Someone in the tags mentioned a possible KimKenta pairing and god I hope we get it. When Tony mentioned punishing Kenta I had a beautiful vision of him whipping Kenta in front of Ken, setting off their omegaverse darkfic journey to love and healing through BDSM.

* Omg, it's the second coming of Kimlock Holmes! Bless.

* This show is starting to give me answers. It's like they read my wishlist. So Charlie is another of Tony's kids (as I guessed), Tony raises them to sell (not surprising), Charlie keeps secrets from Tony about Jeff (good, and could fit my theory). And that's all we learn cause Babe is too busy yelling and Charlie too busy gaping like a fish. Babe's reaction makes sense for the character, but since I already knew I want to move on and get some more information about the why of it all.

* But also Babe you are kinda dumb and have to get better at subterfuge. And uh oh, Tony sees them.

* And now a toothpaste commercial :-/ The product placement is often jarring. At least it's mainly a chance to stare at Way.

* Oh Babe, I'm so sorry. I think I find him the least interesting character, just because he's the most transparent and obvious about who he is and what he wants, but I sympathize with his heartbreak. You finally fell in love and it turns out (it seems like) it was all fake.

* Way used his special persuasive powers again, looking heartbroken and ambivalent about it all. It seems like he can't tolerate the man he loves hurting, and will resort to mind control to "fix" the feeling bad, instead of just holding his pain with him. Nut is really conveying that he believes he's helping Babe by manipulating his mind.

* When Babe grabbed Way's hand I was really expecting a rebound hookup that would simultaneously make Way's wildest dreams come true and ruin his life. And Babe's life too. At least for a few episodes. (But also it would be extremely hot.)

* I'm glad that now Charlie's secret is out we'll get to see more of his real self, whoever that is. Less creepy smiling for now (of which I approve).

* I'm not sure what I think of the use of the these distorting wide angle lenses. Part of it is I can't always tell if they're an artistic choice or just a practical solution to filming in close spaces. But they're also using lots of hand held camerawork and Dutch angles to create moods, so maybe it's intentional.

* The parallels to Pete and Way in the same exact positions on this sofa, with Way now in Pete's spot, looking at the beautiful, heartbroken boy!

* And now Charlie reveals what his plot had been! Apparently he found out that this unknown Alpha was in danger and decided to insinuate himself into his life in order to be a sort of bodyguard, and then genuinely falling in love with him. Which is fine, that's good, it fits all of Charlie's actions we've seen before, and makes their love story as easy as possible. It's minimum levels of betrayal. But it's kinda boring, no? It turns Charlie into a player in Babe's life, without his own goals. I would have preferred my theory of Charlie using Babe to somehow get revenge on Tony. It would make Charlie and his love much richer and more complicated.

* Unless of course Charlie is lying again about his intentions but I really don't think so. It's not that sort of show (I'm pretty sure), and I don't think think their relationship could survive that.

* Along with that reveal we also get more Tony's Alpha Farm lore. A breeding program! Details about enigmas that get confused by the subtitles. (I'm still unclear whether Babe or the enigma would be the one getting mpregnant. And since this is the mpreg racing car BL, that is the most crucial detail of all.) Alphas whose powers never develop, left abandoned in solitary confinement. And we finally learn Charlie's special skill, or rather that he doesn't have one. (Although I would not be at all surprised to find he develops a power just in time to save Babe from Tony in the big climactic showdown.)

* Who is the enigma Tony wants to breed with Babe? Is it someone we know (Winner perhaps? or Jeff? Jeff would make the most sense, for the emotionality and drama) or someone irrelevant offstage. I've decided my money is on Jeff.

* I'm not entirely clear why Tony didn't just kidnap Babe already. His airbnb mansion seems to have minimal security. I'm also unclear on what Charlie thought his presence was doing in terms of protection but either the answers will be revealed in time (I'm not holding my breath) or it's because It Makes the Plot Go (I'll accept it).

* Hmm, and Kenta is (almost definitely) lying to Tony about Charlie. That's good, I like Kenta (and still dream of KimKenta).

* So what's Way's deal? Is he also a runaway from Tony, or did he develop his powers on his own? I don't remember hearing anything either way. (I just had a horrible thought—what if he's Tony's mole and manipulating Babe because of that. But it doesn't fit the evidence so far so I'm hopeful this thought is wrong.)

* Ooohhhhhh. Charlie does have a secret special power after all, and it's Absorption, and he absorbed Babe's heightened senses through all that touching they did. (I appreciate the sex scene montage to remind us about all the touching they did.) AND the only way to transfer the power back is for Charlie to die! "I'm willing to die for you if you want, Babe," he claims! This is a complicated enough twist to satisfy me. Did Charlie do it on purpose? Did he know it was happening? He definitely never tried to stop touching Babe. Does he feel guilty? He doesn't look like he feels guilty. Is he really telling the complete truth? Is he evil after all, even if he's not working for Tony? Maybe he really is the Talented Mr. Ripley. I am Intrigued.

* I was worried when Charlie first arrived and was pleading for Babe's forgiveness, that his old submissive persona wasn't just a persona but who he actually was. Boring. But I should know by now to trust the show more about these sort of things. As soon as Babe accepted him, and settled enough to listen. Dominant Charlie came out, and submissive Babe fell right into line, without even realizing it. The casual authority in the way he told Babe to give him the whiskey glass, and Babe's instant compliance. Delicious. This is so obviously what their dynamic naturally is, and I'm glad the show isn't pretending otherwise.

* And the man who has staked his whole identity on being champion has lost the special powers that got him there. He says he doesn't need them, he can do without, but can he? Some beautiful angst is coming my way.

* The way Charlie slides his arms around Babe's waist is so... just slightly disturbing and I love it. I guess now that he's won he's rewarding(?) Babe by pretending to be all cute and submissive again, but you can't fool me, Charlie Dom.

* I do believe that Charlie genuinely loves Babe. Just that there are a lot of other things going on.

* Oh 😢 I got distracted and forgot about way, and now he's showing up to his dinner with Babe with red roses looking so hopeful. Oh sweetheart.

* Babe riding Charlie in his tiny convertible -> hot.

* But he forgot all about Way, who sat at that table with his roses for hours. The heartbreak on his face at Babe's text. You know what you need, Way? A drinking buddy.

* Of course Alan is the first one to say, we need to bring this evil man to justice and save all the kidnapped children. I love you Alan, you beautiful, kind hearted leader.

* Mostly the bad subtitles are annoying but inconsequential, but WHAT IS BABE SAYING ABOUT KIM?! Does he thing Kim is a danger to him and his crew, or does he think Kim is in danger from Tony? Because it makes a difference. I had assumed Babe realized Kim was on their side, but the translation is off and sometimes Babe's an idiot.

* Dumb and dumber are so oblivious. Who in their garage thinks Tony's a kindhearted guy? I thought they all hated him already. That was weird. (When are these two going to finally hook up? My bet is in the last half of the final episode, right before the coda with the main couples.)

* And as we all knew, it was Kim in danger from Tony. I had seen this screenshot in a post tagged Kim and Kenta, but I didn't look closely, and in my previous imaginings I was picturing Kenta as the one on his knees. But a captured Kim makes more sense plot wise. Kenta holds a knife to a kneeling Kim's throat, which is our second breadcrumb of the day, but this one has some weight to it. (And is delicious, though obviously in their actual dynamic Kim will be the dom. But this is a good starting point :-))

* And it ends! Noooo. I want to know what's next. Way needs to find his beautiful drinking buddy again!

* I'm not going to watch the previews because I like seeing each moment unfold as the happen. Although I'll probably end up spoiled by tumblr anyway. But I'm doing my best to minimize it.

* I like how this show devotes several scenes at a time to each relationship or event, rather than cutting back and forth between characters.

* Well that's it. I've officially fallen for this show. Especially now that all sorts of interesting things are getting revealed and complicated. I am actually a reader of omegaverse fanfic, because I love how the good ones explore gender roles and power dynamics in fascinating ways. And I think this show is doing at least a little of that.

* Oh no, we haven't seen Jeff since the opening scene! I'm worried about him. I think it's only been two and a half days in universe, but I feel like every other episode we got more of Jeff which is making me suspicious that something happened to him. He gave his ambiguous warning and then disappeared. Stay safe, Alan's nu.

#pit babe ep 7 #kind of like liveblogging #pit babe spoilers #only took me four hours to watch this #pit babe the series #pit babe

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bhaalsdeepbat · 10 months ago

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I saw some discussions about how evil Gortash was when Karlach worked for him, and how she should have been aware, but there are a few things going on that make me believe she never got the whole picture. I think she only saw what Gortash wanted her to see.

She's a victim of powerful people who see other people as tools and pawns for their own ambitions. She's a soldier who was tempted by the promise of a good life doing a job that she believed in (at the time), only to find out the horrors happening under her nose. And I don't think she was ever aware of them!

Karlach makes it clear she wouldn't have worked for Gortash if she knew half of what he was actually doing. She didn't even get the whole picture until she returns to Baldur's Gate with the squad.

And again. She was a child when she started working for Gortash. He must have known what to say to her, specifically, because she believed in him SO much before he ripped everything away from her and betrayed her. I don't think she'd have trusted/respected him if she had even the faintest idea of what was going on.

And that's kinda the story with a lot of soldiers, y'know? They sign up to get themselves out of poverty, they grow up a bit, and they either double down in their beliefs or they realize the life of a soldier isn't what they thought it would be. I think she represents this kind of person really well, tbh.

Then, she spends her entire time back on the Sword Coast protecting people and doing the things that she wanted to be doing with her life, before getting caught up in the service of people out for their own power and conquest.

She is the goodest girl, but even the best people can be caught up supporting the worst people, especially when subterfuge and forced servitude are involved.

#bat plays bg3 #gortash is so charismatic too he would know just what to say #zariel shes literally leashed to but gortash?#he had to know he would need to control what info karlach was privy to so he could maintain his grasp on her #karlach respected him so much i dont think she could feel the memory of that respect #if she knew literally anything #but ye i keep thinking abt this #she's the best girl who keeps continuing to do good despite the cards she's dealt #and she was misguided as a youth but like #children shouldnt have to make choices like “should I become a child soldier so i can keep food in our bellies and a roof over our head?”#bc that was the choice Karlach had to make #and im sure there were worse avenues she could have gone it was baldur's gate for durge's sake #but she would have went with the one that seemed like the lesser evil if not a net good #and i think the latter is what she saw in Gortash's ambitions #not realizing the trap she's getting caught in #karlach #bg3

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thotpuppy · 10 months ago

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WIP Tag Game!

tagged by @dear-massacre ! AND @whimsicalmeerkat! WHIL i was writing my post lolol

This is sorta smth i track regularly? but i have it all sorted by word count akdgjkajdg it's part of my progress tracker server w some friends. Adding words is the easiest way to track 'working on a project' so that's what i do! I also have a (separate) doc in my drive folder that tracks just, general prompts, so when i have ideas i slap them in there.

Current (Teen Wolf) WIPs:

TriReign: Shepherd, Lamb, Wolf: small outline, chapters 1-4 complete, 5 wip - 16,575 - Sterek, Medieval Fantasy, Arranged Marriage, Omegaverse, Political Drama, Sex and Politics, Duty and Honor and Subterfuge, etc. my current current current WIP. Baseball AU: Collab? outline - 331. MOSTLY this is just. a Roster and some thoughts about a general plot concept. I want to illustrate this but i can't do a comic. It's also a Sterek concept. FratBoi Stiles x RA!Derek: 52 - this is just straight up a PWP with the prompt borrowed from a TWT moot that ive been meaning to work on for ages and just haven't yet. Higher Education 2: 2,821 Sciles, trans!Stiles, post-canon college AU. Also PWP, but also my gross unhygenic sloppy AU kinda. it's just. its grossnasty wet n sloppy porn. i wanted to finish this and then write a Third part for Sciles week this year and i didn't. whoops There's a Werewolf Tradition for That: 72 - Sterek didn't know they were dating AU. Alive!Hales but Werewolves are still a secret. Stiles and Derek are good friends and roommates, they're both idiots pining for each other, and out of the blue Derek's Mom sends them a formal invitation to celebrate their engagement. Stiles doesn't even know Derek's a werewolf. total ROMCOM, kinda inspired by My Big Fat Greek Wedding, but only in Vibes. Lone Wolf Wild West AU: Chapters 1, 2 posted, not outline - 3,670. Sterek, Lone Ranger!Derek, son of the sheriff Stiles. Mystery, adventure, romance. I miss cowboy...

Somewhere in here I will also put my Collabang fic and any other events i sign up for, because I'm gonna have to pause my major WIPs to work on them lol

1920's Mafia AU: Outline only - 1313 - Stiles is a city detective, the sheriff is the Police Commissioner, this takes place in Los Angeles. There are tunnels running all through the city, albeit underneath (real). There's been an uptick in gang activity lately. Stiles secretly 'runs' by which i mean, owns and protect, but isn't involved in Actually Running, an underground speakeasy in the heart of the city. He doesn't let any gangs runs their trouble on his turf. Until one day, a Hale is shot by an Argent right outside his doors. Sterek SuperBat ComicCon MeetCute: WIP One Shot - 1,049 Inspired by MultiE's art. nerd x nerd solidarity Sciles Ancient Greece AU: 192 - this is a friggin poem and is probably gonna stay a poem. New! Sex For Work: Parts 1, 2, 3, 4 - 23,228. Part 5? Sterek BDSM CEO x Personal Assistant AU. Originally intended to be kinky prompt fill series but Caught Plot. I meant to rewrite it last month to convert it into a standalone story, but uhhhh didn't. I DID do reformatting though. I just need to get writing on it again, but i tend to be kinda singleminded.

Other Fandom WIPs:

Big Blue Boyscout: 47 - Superman x Nightwing, xenophilia fic. "He's Big and Blue in more ways than one..." Bruce Wayne Visits Smallville: 685 - I got distracted while bingeing smallville for the first time and haven't gone back, but this was just supposed to be a one shot but my outline grew legs DP/YJ Crossover: 220 - this is more of a concept than a real specific fic, but i REALLY like comparing danny phantom to specifically the young justice animated series, and i wanted to try and come up with a cohesive clone comparison plot, rather than just making it a lil joke. Maybe it'll be Danny x Conner because himbo tee shirt conner is my baby boy baby boy Not So Blushing, Not So Virgin: 40 - SuperBat role reversal where everyone expects clark to be this sweet inexperienced things and then he absolutely blows bruce's back out.

Hiatus Projects:

Universal Law of Gravitation: Chapter 1 WIP, significant outline - 3,080 - Sterek Lifetime fic. I wrote out this huge long super comprehensive timeline and got super caught up in it. It's supposed to be about how, despite their best efforts, Stiles and Derek just can't stay apart, so there are a ton of messy breakups and fights in between. I just never put together an actual proper Plot, so when i started writing it, i got SUPER bored. It has a playlist! and i made a bunch of pseudo-science chapter titles hehe A Fever You Can't Sweat Out: Chapter 1 posted, Chapter 2 WIP, significant outline - 9,911 - Sterek, Marrish, Scallison, post-canon AU, surprise mpreg! Similarly to ULG, i wrote out a huge big timeline and outline and got super nitty gritty into the details, but literally Chapter One i went Off Track and it just killed my motivation. It's HUGELY ensemble, and i picked out jobs and hobbies for like 12 people to all live in a big ol estate together. It also suffered from "world building but no plot", but i DID try to make a plot, it just. wasn't good haha. The entire concept is, Lydia gets pregnant which makes Allison baby crazy so she gets pregnant and Stiles wants a baby so, so bad, but he's dating dating/married to Derek and therefore would have to adopt or something, but he wants it so bad he magics himself up a contraception.

Prompts!

Derek is moody, Stiles teases him about the fact he like, never smiles. Kisses him on a whim to get a rise out of him. And then proceeds to have a existential crisis after because "oh shit did he just kiss DEREK".

Werewolf!Stiles’ Pavlovian Pleasure Response to Scott’s Click (iykwim)

Stiles x Jeep crack smut oneshot

Post Nogi stiles is having trouble feeling like himself again. he feels a sharp disconnect with his Self that he didn't used to have, like he's lost touch with his humanity. He needs someone to remind him how it feels to be human.

unspecified/platonic - In this kind of weather, it makes more sense to stay inside. Or rather, stay inside somewhere else. Stiles sets up shop in a bookstore's cafe to while away the time warm espresso, a good book, and his own company. Until Someone/Something Else comes knocking.

Supernatural Boarding school (circa 2005-2009 role-play forum vibes)

Bastard Prince Jackson and Freedom Fighter Stiles (see doc)

Stiles’ mythology professor bites off more than either can chew - The Great Beacon Hills Custody Battle

“Teenage Dirtbag” Loser!Stiles Sterek fic

all of my prompts literally only exist in a single document where i put Ideas i like adkgjakjg everything in wips has a dedicated doc, but most of them dont have much written yet.

There's also 1 absent prompt here that im now saving for the collabang so ive omitted it from my counts because its technically a wordcount of 0 until i get to start working w my artist (:

no pressure tags! @renmackree @lavender-lotion @like-lazarus @geekmom13 @endwersed

#my writing #ugh my wip pile is ever growing.........

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microwavetoaster-selfships · 7 months ago

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Hihi. Feel like talkin and it's my blog so I'm gonna do what blogs are for and, well, blog!

Blah blah yip yap put this under a read more cause I type a lot.

Anyways, a while ago I saw a post and I can't entirely remember what it was about, but it talked about writing out why you put what songs in your F/Os playlists, and I thought that was a lovely idea. I was a little weary at first cause, well, my playlists for them are very long, not to mention the complex stories I have behind a lot songs, but it was a lovely thing, plus kept me distracted and gave me a place to gush. Plus bonus!! I can make little updates and stuff for when I add new songs and highlight the different numbers and. ANYWAYS.

I wanted to share a particular excerpt and a song! It's one of the ones where I wrote a tonnn about, filled the front and back of a page plus a little extra(it's a small notebook, about the size of my outstretched palm, so take that as you will). Maybe I'll post about the other songs as well :)

Going to copy word for word what I wrote in the journal about the song! The song is B.ody P.aint by A.rctic Monkeys. (Not an inappropriate song or title, I swear. I'm notorious for misunderstanding songs meanings but. Theyreartandartisupforinterpretationwhichcanbedonewhilestillrespectingthewritersintentionsofwritingthesong.) And this is from the Playlist I made about A.xlerod :3

I also talk about myself in the third person. Some stuff here is related to plot/backstory between me and A.xlerod so if it doesn't make sense that may be why😅(highly encourage asking questions if yall are curious. Or about any F/O stuff or backstory)

Also, his full name is Sir Miles A.xlerod, I refer to him by his first and last name interchangeably(I'm not sure why or how I started doing this).

------

B.ody P.aint by A.rctic M.onkeys

-"so you don't let the sun catch you crying" is just a really good line for either of them(referring to A.xlerod or Kane). But more and most importantly, "And if you're thinking of me, I'm probably thinking of you" cause that is just one of the most important lines to me ever, cause I truly believe in it. But how they just think of each other so often that they're probably always thinking of each other. Also "so predictable, I know what you're thinking" is a really nice line, I think. They are just around each other so much they just know each other that well. The longer I listen to this song, the more lyrics I keep finding that fit really well, but they keep fitting SO well I wanna write them all down! The opener of "for a master of deception and subterfuge, you've made yourself quite the bed to lie in" is a really great A.xlerod towards Kane line, cause Kane is a spy and needs to be good at that sort of stuff(I googled the word subterfuge and it makes this one billion times more fitting)((I wrote that in the journal)), and Kane has kinda made himself this bed to lie in by opening up to Miles and sparing him and being all honest and vulnerable. Also Also, "I'm watching your every move, I feel the tears coming on, it won't be long" as a Miles towards Kane line cause Miles seeing how Kane is and just kinda watching him slowly become more and more open and letting his walls down. ALSO also also "I'm keeping on my costume, callin it a writing tool" for Kane towards Miles, cause of how Kane kept on his spy suit for so long like a costume, and basically using it as a tool for when he quits being a spy and does the whole lemon thing, it was a big way of him letting Miles know how serious he was about all of this, and how the last thing he would wanna do is hurt him.

#me when im shy to talk on MY BLOG. FOR BLOGGING. ABOUT ME. screams #yes another long post. whos really surprised here #someone obliterate me for wanting to shy away from my long posts. people post entire fics on here about their selfships youre gonna be okay #i dont know if any of this is coherent. i never planned on getting to share it so its very written just in my personal lingo #self ship #selfship #selfshipping #self shipping

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writingforfishes · 5 months ago

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Otto and Atticus Part 8: Roleplay

I had a plan to write another story, but this one occurred to me and I couldn't pass it up.

It's been a while since I posted a story so I'm excited to get back into it. (In fact, it's been over a month!)

It took me a few days to finish this, but I'm happy I did.

Very very fast hiccups (not all the way through).

They do pleasure each other near the end. Closest thing I've ever written to a sex scene, honestly.

Several mentions of arousal and physical reactions to arousal.

Arousal in public (but arousal that others around them do not notice).

Mentions of genitalia or implications of genitalia.

Mentions or implications of fingering.

Mentions or implications of a hand job.

Trans masc character and descriptions there-of

Adorable banter, sickeningly adorable banter. I hate them both really.

I've tried something new, here. I've separated the fic into four parts. "The Plan", "The Action" (which still has some arousal mentions), "The NSFW Action" (which you want to avoid for all the CW stuff I mentioned, if you're not into it), and "The Afterglow" (which should be safe from arousal and actions from arousal).

I wondered if this would help anyone navigate the story better if they could avoid something they didn't want or go to something they did want. Even though I ultimately write these stories for myself I'd like to make them easier to navigate for people who might be interested in some of the content but not all.

Without any further ado:

THE PLAN

“Are you sure?” Atticus asked in surprise to his quick agreement.

“Yeah! I think it sounds fun! I’ve never done anything like that before,” Otto said casually sipping his coffee in response to his partner’s agog expression. “It’s kinda like acting, right? I dabbled in highschool and college. But, like, with a very arousing component. And we’ll be in a bookstore which is, honestly, very sexy.”

Atticus was silent for a bit, face turning incredulous.

“I...can’t tell if you’re serious or not,” they said narrowing their eyes behind their dark-rimmed glasses.

Otto gave a chuckle, “I am! It’s kind of exciting. Hiccups are innocuous. No one is going to know anything is going on. It’s sort of like we’ll be carrying on this secret sexy improv and no one is going to suspect a thing. And we have to keep our arousal undercover, right? So it becomes this menagerie of subterfuge. One, we’re pretending we don’t know each other and two, we’re concealing our arousal from everyone there. I mean, that’s kind of hot. And there’ll be books. I am a big fan of books. I stan books.” He paused. “Did I use that right?”

“I’m...honestly not sure. But probably not,” Atty said. They found themselves getting pretty giddy at his excitement.

“I mean, obviously I can’t control when I get them. But…when I do…I say let’s go for it!” Otto said.

“Okay. Let’s discuss boundaries then…” Atticus said, having had been thinking about this for quite some time before shyly bringing the idea up.

The couple discussed a safe word that would indicate that they were uncomfortable in a bad way or that their arousal was at a point they felt they needed to leave the public area for fear of indecency.

This was not a bar they were talking about and, while children were pretty easy to avoid at the bookstore they planned to enact Atticus’ fantasy in, there was no need to test the limits of their bodies at hiding obvious signs of arousal, Otto specifically.

Atticus discussed what they’d like to see and wanted to make sure Otto didn’t feel pressured in doing anything he was uncomfortable with. Otto having hiccups in public, they learned, was something he’d expressed discomfort about.

Otto reassured his spouse that because of the setting he was more than happy to interact with others knowing that Atticus was getting some satisfaction from it. It was more of an annoyance than a discomfort, he’d explained. But he was excited to be watched by his partner. And he couldn’t pinpoint why.

After this intense conversation (that honestly got them both a little flustered) they went on with their normal lives until two weeks later when at around noon Otto appeared from his corner workshop in front of Atticus while they were doing some research on a novel they’d been working on for the past month.

Atticus looked up at the tall man immediately noticing a quick spasm in his midsection.

“Do you mk!-wanna g-go to the bookstore? Hup!” he asked, eyes wild and grinning widely.

THE ACTION

The bookstore was pretty abandoned chronically. It was a sign of the times, the writer thought sadly as they wandered the aisles. Then again, it was also in the middle of the week. There were no events on the calendar, no readings or new book releases. Summer had ended so no kids were roaming the small square of toys and books in the back of the store. It wasn’t quite fall, though, so no one was in the market for early Christmas gifts.

They were thankful for the quiet as they slowly made their way through the rows of poetry books. They weren’t even that interested in looking at specific collection. They were just biding their time, really. They were following a muffled, irregularly paced sound. It was like someone gulping sharply. Sometimes it was rhythmic but sometimes the sharp gulps game one after the other. A grunt or a sigh would follow those instances.

As they turned the corner they spied the source of the sounds and lingered to watch.

The man was tall. They could tell his height because there was an employee that had come beside him to shelve a cart of books and he was a good head taller than her even though his posture made him seem more diminutive.

He had his back to them at the next aisle over and so they tried to be inconspicuous when they picked up a book of poems to thumb through, glancing over every once and a while at the way those gulping noises the man was trying so hard to suppress tensed his neck. He wasn’t wearing a particularly tight button up shirt, but they would still tell from the light cotton fabric’s movement that the sides of his body expanded at each spasm.

“Sir, I’m so sorry. I need to shelf this right in front of you,” the employee said softly.

“Oh! Hmp! Sure. Sorry a-hmk!-about that! Mk!” he said, flustered from his reverie as he’d been intensely reading the inside flap of the book he’d pulled from the shelf.

He stepped aside and the onlooker shifted so that they were less obvious. From his profile they could see more movement from the sounds his body made. He put his hand on his chest as if to try to contain the movements, but to no avail except to emphasize them as his head snapped back in another cluster of diaphragmic activity. “You okay?” the employee said. She’d caught on to the sounds and movements but hadn’t realized what they were, yet.

“Hm?” he said, gulping down a couple more spasms.

The employee was looking directly at him now and the onlooker could see her eyes alight in recognition.

“Oh hiccups,” she said casually, as if the word didn’t cause an immediate intense emotional reaction. Perhaps when normal people said it, it didn’t, thought the onlooker.

The man chuckled, squelching another hiccup in the sound.

“Yeah I’ve hmp!-been trying to k-keep them quiet huck! Geeze, excuse m-hmk!-me,” he said, putting a fist over his mouth.

The sudden loudness of the hiccup made the onlooker jump a little but in the employee it only caused a soft smile. The writer felt a sudden rush of jealousy for the bookshop worker before scoffing and shaking their head.

“If it helps,” the employee said, “there’s probably not that many people here that you’d annoy. It’s pretty slow today. But if you need some water the cafe is open.”

His hand was back to his chest as she spoke. His other arm wrapped against his waist holding the book he was reading in the tips of his fingers. As he continued to hiccup the book bounced in his hand with the jostling of his stomach against his arm. When the onlooker saw what book he had chosen they rolled their eyes. Of course it was that book of poems. Pandering to the audience, but they’d let it pass for now.

“Oh man hup’k!-thanks. I himpk!-uh might take you hmk!-up on that!” he said, body jolting with another hiccup. His face strained to keep some of those hiccups in. It was driving his onlooker insane.

There was a plush chair beside the cafe area. At first they thought the tall man and his messy curls and trimmed beard was going to walk into the cafe itself to retrieve the suggested water. Instead he settled into the plush chair with the book he’d selected to browse. The chair was dark blue and faced in a way that it was possible to sit at a table at the edge cafe area and watch without being too obvious. The writer took their chance.

They ordered something warm and caffeinated, though they hardly needed the energy, and sat themselves where they thought they might not be seen or noticed right away as the man settled into the chair. His long-limbed body was fully visible as the chair had low arms and straight short back. The man’s torso, clad in that loose cotton shirt on this hot day, was more than accessible to sight as the onlooker sipped casually on the warm beverage and brought their phone out to feign interest in it as their eyes glanced to watch.

He really was trying to keep his hiccups quiet, if he were honest. There weren’t many patrons, but there were a few. He didn’t want to disrupt the silent energy that permeated the store, soft jazz music feeding through the sound system. The more he kept them in, though, the more he felt his body react. And, for the sake of comfort, he had to let some of them out a little.

“Hmk!hmk!hmk!mk!hup’k!” he felt thrum through his system and jerking his body around in a long cluster that signaled this case of hiccups’ determination to be heard. He puffed out air from his mouth, putting a hand over his diaphragm momentarily, before immediately jerking back in another less forceful hiccup.

He flipped a page of the book of poems casually, familiar with the works enough to know what he was looking for. It was one of his favorite authors, after all.

Normally a case this bad would cause him to cut his visit to a store short, but the draw to stay was too strong. He felt a ball of excitement in his chest that probably led to the hiccups being more forceful than they probably would’ve usually been if this were an actual casual outing and not what it was. Still, he was determined to stay in character even as he sensed a gaze on him that he normally wouldn’t have even noticed had it genuinely been a stranger.

“Huck!-mm. Hlmk!-mm. HUP’K! Jeez! Hmpk!” The last hiccup came sharply through his nose and hit the back of his throat like a slap. He felt his neck tense and his shoulder hit deeper into the chair. He went back to covering his mouth with his fist, as if that would help soften the sound like the mute for a trumpet.

The onlooker watched the scene with excitement. They watched as he tried to keep focus on the pages but his eyes blinked with each hiccup. His head jolted every time it came to rest at reading. The fluster that developed when his hiccups couldn’t be contained caused them to squirm in their seat.

“Hup’k!…hup’k!...hulp!-mm! Mmk!...mk!...mmmk! Oh, man. Mk!” Despite the internal fight the man worked hard to focus on the book. He let out a sudden laugh when he found the specific poem he was looking for and, “HUCK’M!”

The sharp hiccup cut through most of the store. The few patrons that were dutifully ignoring the stranger’s hiccup fit looked casually toward the sound. There was a small giggle from another aisle. He slapped his hand over his mouth in mortification. He looked around sheepishly, apologetically, and caught the face of a patron near him at the cafe.

They were short, curly hair flopped over their forehead accentuated by an undercut. Their hair was dark brown and highlighted in stripes of silver-grey and they wore dark framed glasses. They looked at him like deer caught in the headlights. The book on the table in front of them, which was being ignored for the phone, was a title he was more than familiar with.

“I’m s-so sorry,” he apologized to them. His head tucked with another hiccup, silent.

“No-no. It’s okay,” the onlooker said, flustered that they were noticed. “Um, sounds like you’ve got them pretty bad…”

The man looked a little tired as he nodded.

“Yeah. I d-don’t get them hup!-too often bu-hmk!-but when I do-uck!-uh, they’re pretty st-uck!-stubborn. Hmp! Even if I c-can get rid of them hmpk!-they-hmk!-they-hmk!-ke-mk!-keep com-coming mk!-back. Scuse me!” he said, putting his fist over his mouth again and rode out a few more of the cluster of hiccups before patting his chest.

“Sounds frustrating,” they said. Did that sound casual? They hoped so. They pressed their legs together and took a measured breath. If the man noticed he didn’t mention it.

“It’s m-more that hup!-I don’t want to b-up!-bother anyone. I act-actually don’t mind hmp!-mind them. Ugh, but m-maybe I sh-hup!-should get that wa-uck!-water. Do you c-care if I s-hip!-sit with you? That’s kind of my f-hump!-favorite book,” he said sheepishly. He indicated to the tome that was Moby Dick sat next to them on the table.

They were almost too distracted by how his head got thrown back each time he hiccuped to answer at first. But they blinked with he indicated the book.

“Actually...this book was here when I sat down…” they said. It wasn’t a lie, actually. The coincidence was so stunning it almost convinced them that there might actually be a god.

His face fell. “Oh...hu-up!” He snapped his mouth shut.

“But...I wouldn’t mind the company,” they amended quickly.

“Even with th-the hiccups? Huck’m!” he said, and patted his chest again.

“I dunno. I think they’re kind of cute,” they replied, understating the hell out of the assessment.

He chuckled, “I’ll-huck!-I’ll be right back mk!”

They watched him go up to the café bar, book of poems still in hand. It wasn’t hard to overhear the conversation.

“Hey c-can I hmp!-get a cup of hmp!-cup of water? And mk!mk!mk!-excuse me. Can I p-pay for this here? HUP! Ugh. Sorry. Can’t s-seem to hmpk!-to shake these today. Hilp!” he said.

“No problem, man. I can get that book for you, too,” the young man said with a look of bemusement. “I get crazy hiccups, too. And if I get them once, I know I’m gonna get them at least 3 more times that day. Nothing works. Everyone tries to offer cures and I’m like...I just gotta let them do their thing, y’know?”

“That’s pre-herp!-pretty much how mk!-how mine are. Hup’k! Thanks,” he said taking the iced water and running his card to pay for the book.

“Good luck,” the barista said and then added softly, “I’m pretty sure that...person you talked to has had an eye on you since coming in, btw. Just a head’s up. If you’re interested.”

“I’ll k-hmpk!-keep that in mind hup!…” the taller man said with a smirk.

“I people watch when it’s slow,” the younger man explained. “There’s an old guy who I think is pocketing our novelty erasers from the impulse racks. I think he has, like, 20 of them in his pockets.”

“Like a b-himp!-barista C-Columbo. Mk!mk!” he replied, face straining a little as his head jerked back.

“...who?” the barista replied after a beat.

“Never huck!huck!-uh. Nevermind,” he said, rubbing his chest with the palm of his hand as the deepness of those hiccups.

Turning away from the reminder of his mortality, he took the newly bought book of poems and his water to the fascinating human he’d just met who’d apparently been following him throughout the store.

The writer watched the man return from their side. Most of the conversation they’d heard. The cultural reference missed was particularly amusing. But there was a section that was whispered that was driving them mad for having missed.

“You sh-hmp!-sure y-hmk!-you’re okay with me mk!-interrupting your hip!-your solace with m-huck’m!-my noisy diaphragm?” he asked. He noticed a couple of other people in the café area now and felt a little heat on his neck as he saw them turn his way when he hiccuped. Most seemed unconcerned, but the attention was a little uncomfortable.

“Yes,” they said with a laugh and grin pushing up their mustache.

The fine wrinkles around their eyes crinkled behind the lenses of their glasses. There was a youth even with the markers of age in the brightness of their brown irises. The squinting of their eyelids from the rise of their cheeks held a soft femininity even while their facial hair, stubble, and timbre of their voice expressed masculinity. There was an attractiveness in this person that the man couldn’t quite quantify but found utterly alluring.

“I think,” they continued, “we can let your diaphragm express its opinions if it needs.”

“It,” he paused as a silent hiccup rocked his body, “has a lot of opinions” another hard silent hiccup interrupted and his hand soothed his chest lower down toward the point of impact at his diaphragm, “trust me,” he finally finished.

The writer squirmed.

“I can tell!” they said, taking another sip of warm beverage.

“I’m Lou,” the man said, “by the hmp!-by the way.”

“Ryder,” they said. “What do you do, Lou?”

They winced at the unintentional rhyming scheme but could tell it amused Lou as he dipped his head with a grin.

In the U.S. people were often introduced by their occupation. Ryder had heard that other countries found this odd. Welcome to capitalism?

“I f-hmpk!-fix clocks. You? Humpk!-uh,” he said, swallowing after the airiness of that hiccup and softly releasing the air it trapped from his throat in a small belch that set off another cluster that he sat through as Ryder replied. He tried very desperately to ignore the way they kept shifting in their chair. The café chairs weren’t exactly comfortable, anyway. That could certainly be a reason for their squirming.

“I-um-I write. I’m an author,” Ryder replied, not at all flustered at all.

“You wr-hnk!-write and you haven’t re-read Moby Dick?!” Lou replied, incredulous.

“I swear, I didn’t even know it was on the table until you mentioned it!” they exclaimed.

“You didn’t notice hmp!-an over si-himp!-six hund—hundred page book next hup’k!-next to you?” he asked.

“I was distracted,” Ryder said with a shrug.

Lou closed the distance between them for a second, leaning over the table.

“So I-ump!-I hear,” he whispered.

And for a second Lou let his persona slip as his eyes playfully indicated the barista. And as recognition of what he meant dawned on Ryder, they let their persona slip, too, and their eyes widened comically. That twenty-something had been watching their clumsy efforts at stalking the man in front of them. They covered their eyes with their hand.

“Okay!” Lou said, suddenly back in the character of someone who had just met this intriguing person at a bookstore. “I hmp!-am going to re-read you the hmk!-first paragraph o—of this classic.”

Ryder watched his long fingers flip through the title page, chapter pages, to the first paragraph as his head snapped back with hiccups, excitement perhaps making them more enthusiastic.

“I’ve just met this strange man and he’s going to read to me? I feel like we’re skipping a couple of steps. I don’t know if I should move this fast...isn’t reading to someone, like, one of the later bases?” Ryder teased, happy to have gotten some sort of witticism in with how flustered they felt.

“This hmk!-isn’t anything m-hup!-more than two-mk!-two people sharing a t-HIMP!-table and a g-good book,” Lou insisted. He countered them with a mischievous look from under his prominent brow. “You r—ready to be hup!-wowed by hmngk!-uh one of the gr-hlp!-greatest first p-paragraphs to a novel to hmp!hmp!-ever hmp!-ever be written?”

“Enlighten me,” Ryder said, covering their mouth as he watched his neck suck in deeply with each of those hiccups. “If you can make it through…”

“Oh I w-will,” Lou assured his new companion stubbornly. He cleared his throat, hiccuping silently to the irritation, and began:

“Call hmp!-Call me Ishmael.Hmkngk!Some year-hup’k-Some years ago—hmk!hmk!never-hmk!-never mind how long pr-precisely—havi-huck!-having little or no mo-up!-money in my purse, hmpk!-and nothing particular to-hmk!-to interest me on shore, I—I thought I would sail about a little and-hulk!-see the watery part of the world,” Lou started and paused as he waited through a cluster of silent hiccups, little snorts rhythmically sucking into his nose.

Ryder watched Lou’s neck during his reading, close enough to his eyes to not draw attention. They knew the movements hiccups made and Lou’s were impressive. Instead of just the middle of where his clavicle met dipping in, the entire bottom part of his neck seemed to concave with each hiccup. They didn’t know if it was because he was suppressing them so much, if they were considerably deep hiccups, or if this was just the way his body reacted. Well...part of them knew that answer, but they were ignoring if to be in the moment as if this was an entirely new relationship and experience.

“Excuse me,” Lou said, interrupting the reading when his hiccups sped. He took a long breath and dove back in, ignoring the hiccups that interrupted that breath. He may have bitten off more than he could chew trying to make it through this paragraph, but with stubbornness he plowed on.

“It is-hup!-it is a way I h—have of drIVing off the sp-hup!-spleen and regu-regulating the circulation,” he continued. He sped up some words so that he could get more than a few words in before hiccuping. “Whenever I-ulp!-I find myself growing gri—im about the mouth;hmk!hmk!-whenever it is a damp,mpk!-drizzly November in my soul;hup’k!-whenever I find myself in-huck!-involuntarily pausing before coffin ware-hulp-warehouses, and bringing up the-hmp!hmp!-uh rear of every funeral I meet;mmk!-and-hmp!-and especially whenever my hypos get su—such an up—per hand of me, that it requires a strong moral principle toHUP’K-ugh-prevent me from del-del-iberately steppi-hmp!-stepping into-into the street, a-hmk!-and meth-HIMP!-methodicALly knocking people's hats off-humpk!hmp!--then, I account it high t-time to get to s-mk!-sea as soOOn as I can.” Lou paused and shook his head.

“I d-don’t think I can hmk!-continue this,” he said, remorsefully. “I’m bu-hoop!-uh, butchering th-hip-these words.” His whole body jumped at a couple of silent hiccups that smacked him right in the diaphragm and he winced a little.

He’d had the hiccups for a good 15 minutes at this point and they’d only been getting stronger and deeper. While they weren’t painful, they were becoming way more intrusive and obvious to a slowly growing number of people both in the bookstore and café area.

When he looked to his new companion they had a dazed expression, head resting on their hand. They blinked at his comment though.

“Um, yeah. You know. But I was enraptured by the performance. So those words must...be some words to keep my attention, right?” The writer caught the neck of their shirt and fanned it a little. “Those things seem pretty uncomfortable. Maybe try that water? Some deep breaths? You must be sore they, um, look kind of violent.”

“Good id-HUP!” he said, not even bothering to complete the word.

“Th-these must be an-nk!-annoying. S-hmp!-sorry about that,” he continued. He brought the iced water to his lips and took a good gulp. He knew water never cured them but he was also hoping to relieve his throat of the tightness that often accompanied his hiccup fits.

“No, not annoying,” Ryder assured. “More for you, I’m sure.”

They watched his stubbly throat as he drank a couple of gulps of the ice water. It contracted with hiccups even while he was drinking. He must be used to it because it didn’t seem to slow him down. After he’d gotten half the glass down he set it aside and covered his mouth with a couple of crooked fingers, silent hiccups jostling his form rapidly. He looked a little befuddled for a moment as they kept wracking his body quickly.

“Ugh th-that w-was hup!-hup!-was co-cold! Hmp!-hmp!-hmp! I think that-hup!-ma-hup!-made-hup!-the-hmp!-them worse. I do-don’t hmp!hmp!-us-hup!-usually hup!-drink m-my hup!-water that-hup!-c-hmp!-cold! Humph!-hmph!-hmkph!-hmp!-hmp!...mk!-mk!”

Lou sat like that for a moment as his body bounced with every sound sucked in through his nose and caught by his throat which jolted his head and fluttered his eyes as he seemed to be waiting for them to slow down a little. When he looked up into Ryder’s eyes he was disarmed by the pure arousal mirrored back.

The jig was up…

“Let d-hmp!-Le-humph!-dow-hmp!” Lou tried to say. Shit! He couldn’t even get out the damn safe word as he felt blood rushing to the area he certainly didn’t want to be in public for the result of.

“Let down key,” Ryder supplied, breathlessly. “Yeah, me too.”

They took a deep breath to shake off the persona and it was Atticus who spoke next, quickly and desperately.

“Here, you take the keys and I’ll meet you at the car,” they said, thrusting the key chain in his hand. “I’m gonna buy this book.”

Lou, now Otto, eyed them with confusion.

“I-hmp!-have l-hmph!-like five-hmp!-copies-hmp!-of-humph!-of that-hmp!-at home!” he said with difficulty, standing carefully and relieved that nothing was visible yet along his waist-line. He still casually held the book of poems that held Atticus’ name on the cover in front of him just in case as he took the keys reluctantly.

“This one is special,” Atty stressed. “I’m actually going to read this one…”

Otto let out a HU-UP!-as he held his mouth open in amusement. He didn’t even care that everyone paid attention around them. He just shook his head and turned around for the car.

After the next customer cleared away the barista smiled in recognition to the person that had been sitting with the taller man. He’d lost the ability to hear their conversation with the afternoon rush, (aside from the poor man’s ever worsening attack of hiccups) so he leaned against the bar when Atticus arrived.

“Hey, so, how’d everything go between you and the hiccuping guy? You all were over there for a while,” he said, as he rung up the novel with some effort in lugging it into one of the plastic bags he had under the register.

Atticus looked down, face burning. Then they swung their head up and forced some fake bravado.

“I think I might have a chance,” Atticus said, paying for the copy of Moby Dick.

“Well, hey, if I can find someone who can stand my hiccup attacks like you did his...I think I might find a perfect match,” he said, wryly. There might’ve been some jealousy tinged in the statement as well.

“You’d be surprised what people find bearable with the person is right,” Atticus said, cryptically.

“Well, good luck, friend. Wish you all the best,” the barista said.

“Yeah, you too,” they replied.

Their nethers were still vibrating a little as they walked to Otto’s car that he’d pulled up to the curb. Fortunately, the conversation with the barista had taken away the unbearable pressure at least.

“Well howdy, stranger,” Atticus said with a grin, slipping into the passenger seat.

Otto was still hiccuping rapidly in the driver’s seat. He’d unbuttoned his shirt so that his a-line shirt was visible, fabric tight against the middle of his stomach as it pooched out with every hiccup at varying degrees of force.

He smiled in their direction as he turned the key in the ignition. The hmph’s and hmp’s were still so fast that speaking, while not impossible, was more effort that he thought it worth for a response.

“You want me to drive?” Atticus asked, watching his body rock with every spasm.

He shook his head.

“No-hmp!-no I’m-mk-good. I know hmp!-how m-much you hmpk!-like to hip!hip!-to-hmp!-watch m-me from hmp!-from the s-side. I’ll be hip!-be less distr-hmp!hmp!-act-ip-ed!” he said with difficulty and a little frustrated huff and started driving to the main street, taking some deep breaths in an attempt to slow the hiccups a little.

He was getting very aroused and he could tell Atticus was, too. Fortunately home wasn’t too far off. Though he had doubts of ever being able to enter that book store again.

“Wow. Um. You don’t have to suppress those as much now. I know that’s gotta feel uncomfortable,” Atticus said. Watching how deeply Otto’s body was reacting to each hiccup was both extremely hot and also a little concerning.

Otto realized that keeping the hiccups in had become instinctual and so at Atty’s cue he took as much of a breath out as he could and set his mouth open a little to let the hiccups be more free and relax his muscles from how much they were constricted in trapping the spasm’s noises from escaped.

“Right,” he confirmed, before, “hup!...hu-up...hup!hup!hu-uck!...herk!-hip!-hip!-hiup!-HOCK!hu-UCK!” he sighed out a groan and continued. “hu-uck!hu-uck!hulp!...hock!-humph!-unk!”

Even though it didn’t sound like it, letting his diaphragm relax into the spasms instead of holding it in felt much better. It certainly eased the pain that had just started in the middle of his chest.

He kept hiccuping at speed, Atticus noticed, their breath quickening at the exhibition. Ottos neck tightened and jerked in another hiccup as he moved his head to take the final turn onto their street throwing his head back before he readjusted.

Atticus could tell how much focus he was putting in driving and completely ignoring his partner’s reaction. That was good because if he had seen how absolutely turned on Atticus was and how hard it was not to rub themselves then he would’ve definitely wrecked.

Death by arousal. Not a terrible way to go, though…

THE NSFW ACTION

When the car parked there was an unsaid agreement that they both get into the house as quickly as possible. Otto’s erection was finally starting to become more obvious and the last thing he wanted was a neighbor to see.

Also quickly and in unison, they both bee-lined to the bedroom. Atticus fished for lube and condoms as Otto undressed and flopped himself on the bed, desperation in his face as he kicked his pants off to the obvious excitement that couldn’t be hidden anymore.

“Oh gawd, they’re still so fast,” Atticus whined. “Are you okay?”

They always checked with Otto. They never wanted their desire to overpower his well-being.

Without his shirt on and from above, Atticus could witness the power and quickness of his hiccups. They watched the indent of his ribs expanding to his diaphragm’s spasms over and over and over again.

“Huck!-huck!-h’muck!-uck!-ulp!...mk!-hu-uck-huuck!-‘UCK!...h’mick!-hnk!-nk!-nk!hic!hnk!...nnk!-ilp!-huckah!-hngk!...”

It was hypnotic. Their breath hitched as their member, engorged in arousal, buzzed causing their inner-most muscles to undulate desperately.

Otto nodded to Atticus’ question. His hiccups were fast but they let up at intervals allowing him to get a gasp of breath in before speeding up again. They came in waves, like Otto watched Atticus’ arousal do as they rubbed against his thigh, mouth open and eyes fixated on him. He throbbed, his hiccups seeming more of a background sensation to his arousal.

Wordlessly his hand asked to be let into their pants, lube covering his fingers.

“Shit, yes!” Atticus exclaimed as they let his fingers touch them.

For a moment nothing mattered except the sensations on each others’ bodies. Them both pleasuring each other lead to a moment of convulsion, a shivering and gasp of breath, a screaming groan and a lower more guttural groan harmonizing, followed by a panting collapse of smaller person on top of larger.

As they came back into their body, limbs heavy and tingling slightly, Atticus turned on Otto’s chest to look up at him only to find his eyes already on them. His lips were red and smiling faintly.

Atticus’ glasses were askew on their face. There were smudges all across the lenses. They’d take them off except then they wouldn’t be able to see Otto at all. They smiled up at him as Otto adjusted their glasses tenderly.

They felt his fingers slide from between their legs and they shivered again, curling into him. Their head dipped on his chest as he hiccuped. He still had them.

Otto clumsily wiped the lube from his fingers on the boxers he never fully removed, but lowered for quick access. He rested that hand on his chest as he surrounded Atticus’ shoulders with his other arm, the hand he’d adjusted their glasses with. He felt another hiccup convulse in his chest. The sound he made was hoarse. His hiccups had weakened after their orgasms. He could tell they were trailing off. He took a deep refreshing breath before the next “hurk!”.

THE AFTERGLOW

“They’re stubborn,” Atticus muttered into Otto’s chest. They felt a jostle as he huffed out a laugh.

“Yeah,” he said tiredly, “but they’re merk!-uh trailing off, I think.”

“Do you want me to rub your stomach?” Atticus asked.

“Mmmhm,” Otto said, nodding with a smile and soft eyes.

It had become almost ritualistic that after a particularly raucous hiccup fit Atticus would give a little massage to Otto’s overworked belly. The muscles there appreciated the soft circular motions Atticus’ palm and fingers provided and it helped him relax. Atticus enjoyed the feeling of the last spasms of a case of hiccups through Otto’s stomach. It was a win/win. A lot of their relationship ended up in the mutual appreciation of one another’s pleasures. It was very symbiotic in that way.

“So...role playing went well…” Atticus mused softly as their hand made its course around the softness of Otto’s belly. He spasmed again and Atty felt the sensation like a small bump against their palm.

“I’d say so,” Otto said, his voice as hoarse as his hiccups. “Still can’t believe you-erk!-you bought that book.”

“You should talk. Buying one of my books of poems? Pretty sure I have a copy of that around here somewhere too, my dear,” they said.

“True…” Otto conceded. “Mem-merk!-uh. Mementos?”

Atticus watched Otto’s neck cave in with the hiccup and sighed happily.

“Yup. $50 memento,” Atty said sheepishly.

“Fifty? You paid fifty do-erk!-dollars for that?!” His eyes widened in their direction and his eyebrows crawled up his defined brow bone in shock.

“You saw it! Hand bound! Illustrated! It was steal…” Atticus claimed.

“Firstly, not hand bound. Secondly, I have a-urk!-a first trade 1930’s edition that’s illustrated!” Otto argued.

“That you never let me read! Or touch! Or breathe on!”

“It’s...old…”Otto said, weakly.

“You’re old,” Atty parried. “Colombo? Really?”

“He’s a cultural icon…”

“Good lord, dude,” Atticus said, laughing in puffs of hot air on his chest. “I can’t believe that barista saw me watching…”

Otto chuckled, “He’s definitely got a story to tell, now.”

“We can’t go back there, can we?” they asked.

“Yeah, no, already decided that. Probably not in our best interests, no,” he confirmed. He turned his head and gave a little cough and a silent hiccup caused him to spasm again. He felt Atticus’ hand rub against his stomach again in kind. He sighed, though, as another hiccup didn’t come after. His body was definitely tired from all of that.

“So, iced water, huh?” Atticus asked.

“I know, right? I mean, I’ve had iced water without the hiccups and nothing. Guess it just...was too cold?” he said, confused.

“Temperature changes are one of the causes of hiccups. Makes sense that it might make them worse. Just wouldn’t have thought about it,” they replied.

“Hey, you didn’t stutter when you said hiccups!”

“I’m getting better at it,” Atticus said with a grin.

Otto’s hand crept up to Atticus’ head and started rubbing their scalp. Atticus practically purred, humming as they curled tighter into Otto’s body.

“Thanks for doing this,” Atticus muttered.

“I really liked it,” Otto admitted. “It was fun. Kind of exciting. A little embarrassing, but not bad. Just...knowing you were there and--”

“And you were amazing,”Atticus interrupted. “How you held your body. How you didn’t seem like you were aware of me at all but you did all those things you know I like. It was...really hot.”

“Yeah, it was!” he agreed.

“You’re the best old guy ever,” Atticus teased, hugging him close.

Otto rolled his eyes and stared at his partner.

“You do know,” he said, “that we’re only 5 years apart?”

“Shhh, you’re ruining the moment,” they cooed.

Otto snorted.

“Fifty dollars…” he whispered.

“Shhhhh…” Atticus said, putting their hand on his face without looking and targeting his mouth to cover.

Otto put one of their fingers in his mouth and nibbled lightly on it.

“Aaaah…” they whined. “Kiss it.”

Otto did, shaking his head.

“It’s wet now…” they grumbled and wiped it on his chest.

“I do have things to do today. And we should get food. And shower...definitely shower,” he said.

Atticus grumbled again, taking their glasses off and snuggling deeper into their husband’s chest in protest.

“Okay,” he whispered. “We’ll rest a little…”

And, to be honest, the clock maker needed the rest. Now that he came back to his body he could feel the slight soreness in his throat and chest, back and neck. All of the clenching he’d done, even in his jaw, to keep his hiccups suppressed had done a number on his body. And, before long, he found himself dozing with his partner.

#hiccup kink #minors dni #hiccups kink #hiccups #hic fic #hicfic #otto and atticus #roleplay

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toxictrannyfreak · 2 years ago

Note

Please go into more detail about the Fulcrum Barriss thing.

Oh, anon, I have been waiting for this. You're going to get way more than you wanted.

Basically, my idea for Fulcrum!Barriss came from 2 things: 1, I really don't like Ahsoka in Rebels. She kinda sucks there tbh. One of Rebel's main themes is that of redemption, of finding your way back to the right path and helping, and Ahsoka doesn't really fit. She could fit, if they'd done things different and had her and Kanan have parallel character arcs where they both help each other find the Jedi path again, but instead she's a very flat character that never does anything that interesting. Sure, she's supposedly organizing the Rebellion from the shadows, but the only time she's ever significant in her own right in Rebels is when she's beating people up. She's presented as kind of a perfect Light Side saint kind of thing (think of the Gandalf-looking outfit she has in the endcard, and the exhausting amounts of Morai and Daughter imagery we get with her, without them ever once acknowledging that she was possessed by the Son) which really gives us nothing to go with the whole redemption theme. It's boring. There are some good things--I love most of Twilight of the Apprentice, for example, but it's pretty clear that the whole Vader and Ahsoka thing shouldn't have been in Rebels, since it has almost no connection to the actual main characters and the plot.

The second thing was that I wanted to explore Barriss's character post-Order 66 in a way that is respectful to her actual character while still mostly canon-compliant (Because while I hate the Wrong Jedi Arc for what it did to Barriss and fully believe that it never should have happened, a story following Barriss with everything in the Wrong Jedi staying the same is really interesting) and, well, obviously having Barriss be a rebel makes sense (do not talk to me about Inquisitor!Barriss, I hate it). Barriss also has a ton that she feels she has to atone for with the context of the Wrong Jedi Arc, and, as a young Jedi who did Fall a little bit, she can offer a lot to Ezra as a teacher, like helping him understand why he can't use the Dark Side to stop The Empire.

tl;dr: Ahsoka's boring in Rebels, and she really shouldn't have been there anyway, but Barriss is fascinating post-TCW and, as a former Jedi who was briefly taken in by the Dark Side and betrayed the Order, is pretty damn perfect with the themes of Rebels, and had a very unique perspective that would've been really valuable for Ezra's arc.

Rant over, @antianakin has some very good post on Ahsoka if you want to check that out, on to the next rant!

Barriss works as Fulcrum, too. In The Wrong Jedi (I hate it, but like, I am using Canon here, I know it's terrible and character assassination for the sake of shock value and racism), we see how skilled she can be at subterfuge and lying and hiding in plain sight. She's very good at knowing exactly how to manipulate Ahsoka into making herself look as guilty as possible while keeping herself very innocent-looking. I could definitely see a fully grown Barriss with 15 years of experience using those skills to fight the Empire and direct a rebellion from the shadows.

Narratively, it makes a lot of sense for Barriss to work as a quiet director of rebel activity in the Outer Rim. She isn't a super-powerful Force user that can easily beat a bunch of Inquisitors (I'll talk about my problems with how weak the Inquisitors were later) and hold back Darth Vader. She needs to stay quiet, but she also needs to help, and working with those who have been the most disenfranchised and hurt by the Empire to bring it down serves as a good parallel to the Wrong Jedi Arc, where she was one of the most disenfranchised and hurt by the war (a teenage soldier whose people are dying around her, and no one in power cares) redirecting that in the wrong way, lashing out and hurting people, and now she's helping people react in a positive way and do things right.

Ahsoka, on the other hand (I'm assuming you came from the Fulcrum!Bariss and Inquisitor!Ahsoka post) is honestly a much more interesting character as an Inquisitor than she's really ever been in canon, and honestly, it’s confusingly well foreshadowed for something that never happens. In the Mortis Arc (aka the most symbolic arc of TCW that EXPLICITLY TELLS YOU THE FUTURE OF THE CHARACTERS), Ahsoka is very much associated with the Dark Side. She's kidnapped by the Son, she sees a vision (all of the other characters have visions that are pretty clearly true) of herself in the future, telling her that Anakin will corrupt her if she can't let go of him, and lo and behold, what is the 1 thing that Ahsoka is never able to do? LET GO OF ANAKIN. She is literally possessed by the embodiment of the Dark Side of the Force. 30 years later in The Mandalorian, Ahsoka is still unable to let go of Anakin even after he’s been dead for years, after she faced him and recognised him, after there’s nothing left of the Anakin she knew, she can only see Anakin in Grogu. She is haunted by Anakin, she is attached to Anakin, Anakin defines her. Think of how tragic that would be with Inquisitor Ahsoka, who was forced to the Dark Side, who was manipulated and tortured and abused (tbf TotJ kinda makes it seem that Anakin was already borderline abusive to Ahsoka). Imagine the amount of pain and anger and unresolved trauma in her, all inextricably tied to Anakin, to Vader, to her Master. She loves him in the same horrifying, twisted way that he loves her and that brings them both so much pain, plunging them deeper and deeper into that downward spiral.

And then there’s the relationship the two of them would have with each other--Barriss who fell first, but was given the support she needed to pull herself out (obviously Luminara and the Jedi helped her, come on, there’s no way that if she lived they wouldn’t have helped her and pushed for her to be given back to the Jedi) who was able to find the Light again and use her experiences to help other people and make amends, but especially the fact that Barriss Fell of her own accord. There were other factors, but no one forced Barriss to Fall. The Inquisitors were tortured and mutilated and abused until they became everything they hated, and then they were forced to serve the very people who murdered their people. None of that is voluntary, even if they’ve been manipulated into thinking that it was deserved, or for the best, or made them stronger. A Fallen Ahsoka confronting a redeemed Barriss, a horrible mirror image of what happened to them in the Wrong Jedi Arc so long ago. That’s powerful and painful and it works, it fits with the themes of Rebels really well, and it doesn’t mess with the power scaling the way Vader does.

Now allow me to elaborate on this au. So, Order 66 happens, and Barriss is in Republic prison, one that’s probably guarded and maintained by clones (she wouldn’t be an immediate target, ‘cause she’s not a Jedi, and she’s probably wanted for the Inquisitorius anyway). At this point, Ahsoka has separated from Rex and only knows of one Jedi in the entire galaxy that’s probably still alive--Barriss, who she knows won’t be an immediate target, Barriss, who, despite everything, is still her friend. Barriss who will die soon. Ahsoka goes back to Coruscant and breaks Barriss out of prison.

Except the Empire knew that someone would come for her, and after Jesse never reported back, they knew Ahsoka was out there. Barriss manages to escape, but Ahsoka doesn’t. (This is, like, the angstiest possible version of this au, I could also do a version where Barriss just escapes, but I like pain, so.) Barriss thinks they’d kill her—the Inquisitorius program won’t become official for months yet, not until the last of her people have been tortured into everything she once thought the Jedi had become—so she makes sure Ahsoka’s sacrifice isn’t in vain, and she runs. She hides out in the Outer Rim, and she makes Ahsoka proud.

She sees the pain and suffering and misery caused by the war and the Empire, and she is a Jedi. She cannot help what she is. She builds a rebellion, piece by piece and step by step, hidden in the shadows, agonizingly crawling towards something better. She wakes up every day, and she fights, building networks of people and information and hope. She fights to restore the Republic that failed her, and the Order she failed, and she hopes that one day it will be enough. Enough to finally be redeemed, enough to go to trial once more and face punishment for her crimes. (Death. It was always going to be death, but the Jedi managed to postpone her trial until after the war, but the war never ended. The war was to destroy the Republic, and she refuses to stop fighting for civilization. She hears about Ahsoka, eventually, and she sees it as just one more sin she must carry.)

And then she meets Ezra. He is young, and scared, and angry, but he is bright in the Force and he wants to become a Jedi more than anything. She has stayed in the shadows for so long, but this young, brilliant boy and his Master, a fellow Padawan that she remembers from so long ago, they need her, and she goes. She brings everything she has, all to save these last Jedi and being the galaxy some hope. They burn a Star Destroyer, and broadcast a message of hope. It’s finally coming together.

She teaches Ezra what she can, and she and Kanan cling to each other. They hadn’t thought there was anyone else left, all 10,000 lights snuffed out by Order 66 or the Inquisitorius save for them. They meditate and train and try to find their way back to the Jedi path, for the child they’re trying so hard to save.

Eventually, the Empire comes for them. Inquisitor Ahsoka Tano, Grand Inquisitor of the Imperial Order of the Inquisitorius (I had a lot of fun figuring out how many times I could fit Inquisitor in there), second only to Darth Vader, finds them on Malachor. She brings a bunch of other Inquisitors with her (and they’re actually, like threatening bad guys this time, come on) and they have a big fight (idk if I want to keep Maul here, bc well I do like him in Rebels, he's just another example of Filoni forcing in legacy characters where they don't fit) in, like, the middle of the episode Barriss and Ahsoka have a really really angsty 1v1 duel (everyone else is trying to fight normally while ignoring the bitter exes biting each other's heads off in the background). Darth Vader does not show up.

I haven't thought much past Season 2, to be honest, but I do have some vague ideas:

Kallus (who actually has a redemption arc, not 1 episode where they retcon everything about him) definitely has a very strained relationship with the Inquisitors bc he’s several gallons deep in the Empire-propaganda koolaid and he doesn’t trust force sensitives, he thinks that they take jobs away from the ISB, who could do the much better, and, while he’ll never admit it, he does have a moral compass and feels like sending highly trained super-evil Force wizards that can bring down entire buildings with their minds is a bit much for a teenage boy

For seasons 3 and 4 I’d want to do something with the Zare Leonis/Project Harvester plot they set up in season 1 and then like. Never mentioned again outside of a niche book series. Smth about what the Empire actually does to force-sensitive kids

No Thrawn. Fucking hate Thrawn in Rebels bc he is yet another example of Felony jamming in cameo characters where they don’t belong. Why was Thrawn, fucking Grand Admiral of the Empire, the guy that (in Legends bc he wasn’t in canon pre-Rebels) nearly manages to bring back the Empire and destroy the New Republic basically by himself, in the show about a small group of misfit rebels desperately trying to build the early Rebellion? Thrawn managed to nearly bring down the Rebellion at its peak, when it had already destroyed the damn Empire! (For that matter, why is Tarkin in Rebels? Why is Vader in Rebels? Why is Emperor goddamn Palpatine. in. Rebels??? There is a thing called power scaling, felony, and it is very important!)

Instead of Thrawn being the main villain of seasons 3-4 of Rebels, I’d have Inquisitor Ahsoka be the main villain of season 3 and her redemption arc would be parallel with Kallus’s (bc he actually has one here) and they’d both get out of the Empire in the Season 3 finale. The villain of Season 4 would be Pryce, and the focus would be on her and the Empire’s greed destroying Lothal, which I think would go really well with the Zare storyline of Project Harvester that I mentioned above. The show would end about the same as it does in canon, though idk exactly how Ezra would get into the Unknown Regions without Thrawn.

So this has turned from Fulcrum Barriss into a full on rewrite of everything I didn’t like about Rebels, huh? Sorry anon, I warned you.

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