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o9t1mus-x · 9 months ago

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a day in the life (cardinal copia standalone)

pairing: no pairing

warnings: mild language, terzo brings up in passing that he might get laid tonight

summary: Cardinal Copia is a strange man, but not an unkind man. Often nervous, but with a tendency to read people better than they could perceive of him. It's easy to wonder; just what exactly does this enigmatic man do in a day?

additional note: This is set before the Chapters, Copia has no idea he is related to his brothers, Sister Imperator, or Papa Nihil. But he has his suspicions.

word count: 3.6k

authors note: i want to eat copia alive. also this is my first time writing something like this, so comments and feedback are always extremely appreciated! thank you for taking an interest, i hope you enjoy!

Read on AO3

———————————————

The dawn is breaking through the sheer curtains on the window, illuminating the dust motes in the air. The small television on the coffee table is still on from the night before, Super Mario 64 still loaded on the screen with the main menu. In front of the television set is a small bed, cloaked in a red duvet, and barely visible under the billowing blanket is a pillow swathed in a Star Wars pillowcase. Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader are locked in a stare, a mental battle of fortitude and will. The inhabitant of this room is in a similar mental war with himself.

Under the blankets Copia is stretched out, one leg up to his stomach while the other one is stretched out like a stick. His cheek is level with his sheets, his lashes languidly brushing the linen below him while he thinks. He knows the first of his alarms is about to go off, his mental clock telling him it is just now turning 6:15, perhaps even 6:10. He knows he has to get up, but he’s dreading leaving the warm confines of his bed. Maybe I could manage to take a small nap between paperwork and my meeting with Imperator today… He thinks to himself Oh, but I have a Latin for beginners class to sit in and observe for the Siblings certifications… He groans lightly under his breath as he resists the urge to curse, slowly curling into a ball, reaching his hand upwards to peel the duvet back and let his head peek through. He scans the room, not wanting to leave his bed. He blinks once, twice, clearing the sleep from his brain as best he could.

A deep sigh. Knowing he can avoid the day ahead no longer, he throws the duvet off, shivering at the chill of the small room. He knew that Primo rose even earlier than him, and chuckled at the thought of the older man watering his plants in the chill of the early morning dew. Maybe he should swing by the gardens on his way to his office, and say a brief good morning. Compared to his brothers, one stern and the other vivacious, he was slightly more down to earth. (As much as a prolific leader of the church can be.) While he wonders about how he can fit this encounter into his morning, he stretches, promptly cracking his back, a groan creeping out from his mouth.

Copia pulls himself up, and begins his slow trek to the small personal bathroom he has, staring into the mirror. “A small trim of my mustache, maybe? How else will I keep the Siblings in line?” He chuckles to himself, running his fingers along his jaw. His sideburns could use a small shave, a bit unruly for Copia’s taste.

From the other room his alarm goes off, and he makes a light jog to his nightstand. He doesn’t use his phone much, but he has gotten the hang of setting up his alarms. Better than the one before, that nuisance, he thinks to himself. A small chorus of squeaks erupts from the corner of the room, the small chimes of the alarm waking his rats.

“Yes my little ones, I will feed you soon! As soon as your papa gets clean, I will start your morning.” Copia coos from across the room, and walks back to his shower, turning on the water as hot as it will go. As steam fills the room, he takes the time to walk to the cage across the room in order to stave off the beginning of his busy day. He pops the cage lid on top of it, and reaches his hand in.

The most mischievous, Sandro, runs up to his hand and gives a curious sniff. Copia runs his hand along Sandro’s spine, the approving wheet wheets making Copias’ lips curl into a soft smile. Francesca, the smallest of his rats, gingerly pats up to his hand and sniffs eagerly. He douses her in gentle scratches on the top of her head. In the corner of the cage his other two (quite large, admittedly) rats, Ira and Faustus, sleep in a delicate heap.

“Oh, so sweet! I will have to swipe you all some blueberries from the kitchens, the kitchen ghouls will not mind… hopefully. Heh.” He makes a small grimace, remembering the last time a ghoul had seen him sneak out with snacks in the dead of night. They had not said anything, but the silence and their almost hypnotic stare made the embarrassment feel worse than a verbal lashing. Reluctantly, Copia closed the cage latch, and walked to the bathroom. He sighed, swiping his hands over his face. The day must begin, he thought to himself.

Copia whined to himself, dropping his head into his hands. He wishes he had stayed in bed, damnit. His day had not been going… south per se, just definitely wonky.

Papa Emeritus the III had clapped him on the shoulder earlier after their morning meeting, smiling with a small look of gracious pity.

“Cardinal, you do too much of the worrying, si? You are almost as bad as Secondo, just less of the frowning, of course.” He looked at Copia, whose eyebrows had drawn up in worry. “I guarantee you that the day will proceed as calmly as you wish for it to. You may even have time for one of your mid-afternoon naps you enjoy so much.”

Copia had only sighed. “Perhaps, Papa. I will have to try to pencil it in.” Mentally he threw the idea away as he realized there would be absolutely no time for a catnap after planning his week's itinerary at the meeting they had just left from.

Papa chuckled. “Of course you should! The Dark One encourages indulgence, who are we to deny his will?” His gaze turned inquisitive as he gazed at Copia. “Have you spoken to my brother about the arrangements for the sermon tomorrow morning? We have run out of black salt.”

“Please be more specific Papa, you have two brothers.” Copia said, quickly mentally giggling to himself. Probably more from the way Nihil whored himself out all those years ago. But who am I to say, I do not know these things! Copia had to quickly bite his cheek, a nasty habit, as he stopped himself from giggling aloud.

None the wiser to Copia’s internal quips, Papa Emeritus the III shrugged nonchalantly. “I mean Secondo of course, he is always so fussy about his sermons! Going on and on, he does. I am always asleep by the end, melted to the floor like his precious candles.” Papa smiled at Copia. “I am only joking, you know this? It is always my father who is slumped in the pews.”

Copia let a cautious grin cover his face at that. Many times he had seen Papa Nihil hunched over in the front pew during midnight mass, curiously still with a measured rise and fall of his back.

Terzo stopped sharply and turned to the Cardinal as they reached the end of the hallway. “Well, our little chat was nice, but I should be going now. Siblings to talk to, calls to make. You understand.”

Copia nodded, “Of course Papa, perhaps I’ll see you later?” Copia didn’t mind talking to people, in fact, he looked forward to it. He just often found himself saying the wrong thing at inopportune times. While Terzo was a colorful horndog, he was good fun on occasion. It was more so that Copia hated crowds, he had since he was a child. It was always better for him to rush in and get out as quickly as he could, or wait behind the back of the queue for everyone to trickle out. But he knew Terzo had his side he hid, the one that Copia had only seen when they spoke quietly with a sense of brother-like urgency.

Terzo smiled, his eyes warm as he looked at Copia. “If our paths cross! I will see you at dinner, most likely.” He claps Copia on the shoulder. “If I am not having another meal in my quarters.” He smirks, and makes to saunter off, leaving Copia with only the thought of chasing down Papa Emeritus the II and inquiring about his taste in candles, and preparations for the Black Mass at the end of the week.

It is now that Copia sits at his desk, his forehead resting on his steepled hands. I will die under a sea of paper. He thinks to himself, and his stomach gives a plaintive growl. With how his day was going, he had only had time to scarf down two cornettos before the early morning meeting, and had been surviving on coffee with cream and an egregious amount of sugar. The caffeine did little to serve him, it only made the absence of food worse. He knew these things, and yet here he was, sipping out of his small saucer of a drink that barely qualified as coffee anymore.

He sighed, and leaned back in his chair, blinking his eyes which felt syrupy with sleep. He reached his hands up and took off his biretta, running his hands through his mousy brown hair. Maybe he’d have time to take a nice long bath tonight, curl up and pamper his babies? Maybe drive Miss Daisy? He opened his eyes and looked at the mess of expense reports he was currently sorting through. He leaned forward and rested his head against his desk, the cool wood welcoming. Maybe he could rest his eyes for just a few moments, just a break for his brain…

-----

“-inal. Cardinal!”

Copia awoke with a start, his biretta slipping off his head and drifting to the ground pitifully. He flung his body up and jerked his head up to meet the person who woke him up. Papa Emeritus the I stood towering over him, his posture still domineering even in his old age. He stared at Copia, his eyes curiously questioning in the low light of his office- wait. How late was it?

Copia swung his head towards the window and gasped. “Papa! I am so sorry, I- shit.” Embarrassment overtook him. “I, eh, was resting my eyes. The reports and such, they can be, eh… challenging.” Copia angled his face back towards Primo, feeling his face flush. To be caught slacking in his duties by one of the senior most Clergy members… he would think about this moment for years to come. As the owner of the second most employee of the months awards, he hoped this wouldn’t be jotted down in a performance report.

Papa’s eyes shone in the ambient light of Copia’s tableside lamp, and his face softened by a portion. “Cardinal, it is not as late as you think it is. From the state of your hair, I only think it has been about, hm, twenty minutes or so since you drifted into sleep?” Copia let out an exhale, yet Primo continued. “I only closed the blinds for you. Tell me, do you perhaps have the schedule for next weeks’ pumpkin carving activities for the younger siblings? I need to prepare for the pumpkin harvest with the ghouls.”

Copia nodded and scrabbled amongst the files on his desk, gingerly pulling out the paper and handing it toward Primo, who deftly took it.

“Thank you, Cardinal.” Primo spoke firmly, gazing briefly around the room and then looking back at Copia. “I hope you enjoy the rest of your day, I will have a Sibling drop this schedule off here after I’m done looking through.”

“Of course Papa, take your time” Copia was still fighting off the mortification that Primo had caught him asleep, especially since he was prone to drooling when deep in sleep. He would have to check his desk for any slobber once Papa had made his exit.

Primo nodded, and walked towards the door to his office, and Copia took the chance while his back was turned to scan the desk for any drool. Luckily, he only saw papers, papers, and more papers.

“Oh and, Cardinal?”

Copia perked up and looked towards Papa. “Yes, Papa?”

Papa Emeritus the I smiled, his white eye held a subtle twinkle, belying his age. “You are lucky mio fratello did not find you sleeping on the job. He would never let you hear the end of it.” He swiftly turned to open the door, and slipped out, the door closing with a soft click.

Copia simply nodded, his ears were surely bright red. He hurriedly ran his fingers through his hair, and dropped his head onto his desk. “Shit, I just-ugh!” He was indeed lucky that Secondo had not caught him, the disapproving look and talking to he would have received would have ripped him in two. He just wanted this day to be over, and it was only 2 o’clock! Though he hadn’t smoked one since his novitiate classes, he could go for a cigarette right about now.

He rose up and took a deep breath. He couldn’t wait to be back in his bed, watching a movie, maybe playing his games, and curling up in his sweats. He would light a candle maybe, and then he would slip into blissful sleep. But for now, the work of the Cardinal was not done. Copia picked himself up with a small puff of air, and pushed in his chair behind him. He needed to go supervise the Latin class, and then check on the preparations for midnight mass for later in the week. He wanted nothing more than a nice coffee.

Compared to earlier when Copia had wanted a coffee, now all he wanted was a stiff pineapple daiquiri. The sit-in observation at the Latin lesson had gone well (The siblings were sure to pass their certifications with flying colors, Sister Bianca was good at what she did).

However, the midnight mass preparations had gone to shit. The candles the clergy usually used were out of stock, and they weren’t with their current stock. He had even tried to call in a favor with their usual supplier, and they were too stretched thin even with the wiggle room they had. Not for the first time that day, he was beginning to think of just hiding in a nearby storage closet. Not that he had done that before, surely not. (Only once or twice, though he would never speak it aloud).

He made his way to Secondo’s office, his papers nervously crinkled in his hands. He often had the bad habit of wrinkling his papers in thought, and then discovering that they were bent every which way when he inspected them later. Thankfully, no one had ever commented on it, but he had received no shortage of stern looks from his instructors as a young man.

His feet had led him to Secondo’s office, and he stood there contemplating whether or not to turn around and simply sprint to the nearest room and hide. While he wasn’t actually scared of him, he didn’t want to disappoint him. Copia never wanted to disappoint anyone. Sister had always told him he needed to keep in mind that there will always be somebody who will be disappointed. While these words did little to comfort him, they never really had , he knew they were true. It didn’t lessen the fact that Copia wanted to give good news whenever possible.

Taking a deep breath, he raised his hand to knock on the door when it opened. Copia was only slightly shorter than Secondo, but he still had to raise his head up to meet his eyes. Papa Emeritus’ eyes stared back, his eyes glowering down at Copia.

“Cardinal, I thought I heard you outside. Please, come in.” His baritone voice floated through the air, and Copia nodded quickly.

As he stepped inside Secondo’s office, he found himself slightly relaxing. The scent of incense was strong, but not overwhelming. The lighting in the room was minimal, the only sources being the tall lamp adjacent to his desk, and the curtains that blocked the large window to his left. He shuffled in, sitting down at the plush green armchair in front of Papa.

“So, Cardinal,” Secondo said, letting out a huff as he sat down in his own chair opposite Copia. His hands rose, steepled under his chin as he gazed evenly at Copia. “How are the candle orders for Mass this week coming along?”

Copia sighed, his hands coming to rest on his lap. “Papa, I will not lie, they are… not promising.” He said quickly.

“Oh? And what exactly is not promising about them?” Papa spoke quietly, his hands uncrossing from under his chin and reaching out, gesturing for the papers currently in Copia’s hands.

“I have been unable to get in contact with anyone who has them in stock. Papa, I don’t suppose you know anyone?” He leaned forward, handing the manilla file of papers to him. He was hoping, praying even, that Secondo might be able to help him. Besides the expense reports still sitting menacingly on his desk back in his office, Copia still had to sort through the mail he had received during the weekend.

Secondo hummed, his gloved fingers flicking through the order forms. “I do.” He said simply, his eyes still looking over the papers Copia had handed him. “I can get in touch with someone. Consider it done, I’ll have a ghoul drop the finished form off in your office by the morning.” He locked eyes with Copia, a subtle smirk on his lips. “They didn’t let you call in your favor from last year, hm?”

Copia shook his head, his anxiety rapidly fading. “No, they did not. They said they didn’t know what I was talking about, I think it may have been a lie.” He chuckled softly.

Secondo scoffed, letting the papers fall from his hands back into the manilla folder on his desk. “Inutile (useless). We need to change providers, I believe.”

Copia sighed, nodding quickly. “I agree, Papa. Thank you for your help.” He smiled softly at him.

Secondo nodded, a subtle smile sent towards Copia. “Of course, Cardinal.” He cleared his throat, raising an eyebrow at him. “Now, I believe you have some expense reports from Terzo’s trip to Los Angeles to work through. I wouldn’t want to be you, especially with how much that idiota (idiot) spends on his hotel rooms. How a man could need that many extra towels is beyond me.” He shook his head with a barely audible scoff, leaning back in his chair and letting his eyes close. Copia could see where the papal paint around his eyes had begun to crease, the wrinkled skin underneath peeking through. But just as quickly as he had seen it, Secondo had met his gaze once more.

Copia rose from his chair, ignoring the twinge in his lower back. “Yes, Papa, of course.” He nodded once more towards him, and then walked quickly to his office door. He heard Secondo sigh from behind him, and the scratch of his pen against paper. And as Copia closed the door as quietly as he could manage, he let out a deep breath. One less thing off of his plate, he said to himself.

—

And just as quickly as the day seemed to slide downhill, it leveled out just as quickly. Copia briskly walked down the Abbey hall, looking to his right to gaze out the window as he passed by. The gentle rays of the last hours of sunlight shone through the glass, just soft enough to light the way without blinding him. Through the sunlight he could see the nearby forest, the green boughs of leaves bouncing in the summer breeze. He could see dots of picnic blankets dotting the courtyard, no doubt Siblings and ghouls wanting to take in the weather while they could. And even when the sun fell down below the skyline, he knew those same people would lay under the waning gibbous until the lightning bugs went to sleep.

Copia smiled to himself. His reports were done, his belly full from the light dinner he had with Sister in the corner of the dining hall, and his back had popped when he rose from his office chair earlier. No more candle crisis either!

As he opened the door to his quarters, bumping the door open with his hip as he held onto the small plate of fruit, he grinned at the sound of his rats squeaking from the corner.

“Yes, I hear you bambini (babies), I have a surprise!” He cooed as he shut the door, quickly walking over the elaborate setup in the corner. All of his precious rats were up, their delightful little faces peering curiously through the bars. Ira and Faustus were now awake, pawing at the wire. Copia set the plate of fruit down on the adjacent nightstand, his hands quickly unfastening the top of the cage so he could look in from above.

“Ah, sì, naturalmente, (yes, of course). I have not forgotten my promise! Look at all of you.” He whispered, his hands dipping into the soft bedding below to pick up Francesca. He holds her to his chest, reaching one hand over to grab a piece of diced apple. He hands it to her, a delighted smile gracing his face as he watches her small paws gingerly hold the apple and raise it to nibble upon.

“Yes, cara ragazza, it’s all for you. Don’t gorge yourself.” He giggles, his hands holding her close to his chest as her tail wraps around his wrist for safety. His rats below squeak plaintively, clearly offended that he had picked Francesca up first. He laughs at the way Sandro has risen onto his back feet, reaching out to him.

“Yes, you will all have some, I promise. Abbi pazienza! (Have patience!).” He shakes his head in false exasperation, his heart swelling with the warm feeling of a day well done, a duty well fulfilled.

And he also has time to play Dr. Mario.

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