#SPN FF

[sailorsallyart]

Had lots of fun participating in my first ever @deancasswitchbang & making art for the wonderful @seidenapfel's fic 'Your Dreams Are My Reality' 💙 If post canon fix-it is your cuppa, make sure to give it a sip! ☕ caution: it gets pretty hot 📛

[waywardxwords]

I've Got You

Summary: After a year of being in Purgatory, Dean has returned and is trying to make sense of what happened while he was away.

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Female Reader (more of a friendship; they deeply care about each other but nothing wildly romantic happens in this story)

Word Count: ~1.6k

Warnings: Light cursing, angst, Dean/Sam contention (this takes place after Dean gets back from Purgatory and Sam is on/off with Amelia), light fluff, light blood/silver testing (non-descriptive)

A/N: Happy October, friends! This is my first entry for the #flufftober2023 @flufftober prompt challenge. The prompt is: "I've got you." I hope you enjoy!

“Dean,” you breathed as you walked through the door of the cabin. Even after you heard his voice on the phone, you couldn’t be sure it was really him–not until you saw him. 

“Test me,” his words were firm and clear–much firmer than you remembered. You processed that the man had been in Purgatory for the last year, and his experience had most likely hardened his already tough demeanor. 

“Dean, I–” you tried to stop him.

“Test me, dammit,” he grumbled as he grabbed what looked like a jug of holy water and took a swig of it. Next was the silver; he didn’t hesitate to run it along his forearm before he wrapped the cut it left behind with a bandana. He wiped the blade on his denim jeans. 

“Dean,” you said, for the third time now. Your eyes burned with tears. You knew it was him from the get go, but now it was confirmed. He handed you the holy water and the blade. You moved slower than he did, but you took a sip of the water and winced at the bitterness; it was laced with salt. Then, you took the blade and matched his movements with a small slice on the underside of your forearm. 

Without allowing another moment to pass, he pulled you in tightly to his chest for a hug–so tight, you thought you might not be able to breathe as your body was crushed against his. 

“God, it’s good to see you,” he breathed in your hair before he finally released you. “Where’s Sammy?” His eyes moved over your face inquisitively.

“I, uh, I don’t know, Dean,” you were careful with your words. You were a little bit angry with Sam, but you didn’t want to have to explain why to Dean.

“What do you mean, you don’t know?” The sharpness made you blink, but you knew he wasn’t trying to hurt you with his tone. The man had been in Purgatory for a year, for Christ’s sake. 

There was no way around it, though. You were going to have to try to explain and hope he could understand.

“I’ve gotta get out of here,” Sam mumbled. It had been three days since you all had killed the Leviathans, but somehow Dean and Castiel had been killed in the process. You had spent three days researching and looking for how to find them, but you had come up empty. Sam had tossed around the idea of Purgatory , for Cas, at least, because he was an angel; but neither of you knew how that worked–the death of an angel? Where would they go? Could an angel go to Hell? 

“Sam, we’re going to find them,” your eyes were heavy, you hadn’t slept. The pain of running in circles reading and re-reading and searching was making you feel crazy.

“Are we? Even if we do find them, how are we going to get them out?” Sam was angry, and you understood that. But anger wasn’t helping the situation, and you wished he could realize that.

“I don’t know yet,” you sighed as you placed your elbows on the wooden table in front of you and dropped your head into your hands. “We will find a way. We always do.”

“I have no one now. My family is dead, I just…I gotta get out of here,” he repeated. His words stung, but you knew you weren’t family. You weren’t even a hunter, initially. You had stumbled into this world when the Winchesters had saved you on a hunt a while back. Now that you knew what went bump in the night, there was no turning back. “I’m sorry, but I have to go…” Sam seemed reckless, but you also knew that you couldn’t stop him. Not really, anyway.

You stayed silent, but as the door closed behind him, tears pooled in your tired eyes.

After you had explained carefully what had transpired, you tried to ease the blow. “You always wanted Sam to get out of the hunting life, Dean.” Your words were soft.

Dean sat on the sofa leaned forward, his elbows on his thighs as he stared at the wall opposite him. His jaw tightened, but he didn’t say a word.

“I gotta get some air,” he cleared his throat and stood quickly. He reached for his jacket. “I’ll be back later.” Before you could say a word, he was already out the door and pulling it behind him with a slam. You couldn’t help but feel defeated, yet again.

This was the third dive bar you had checked in an hour. You had lost hope and wondered if you really knew the oldest Winchester at all as you looked for him. But there he sat on a barstool at the end of the dimly lit bar. 

You heaved a sigh before you walked towards him. “I’m gettin’ real tired of looking for your ass,” you grumbled playfully as you carefully moved onto the stool next to him. 

His eyes didn’t move from the back of the bar as he took a pull from his beer. 

“Yeah, well, at least somebody’s lookin’,” he muttered just loud enough for you to hear.

You weren’t sure what to say to that immediately, so instead you leaned against the bar and flagged down the bartender. “Could I get a Stella, please?” The bartender nodded and went to retrieve your bottled beer.

A few moments of silence passed. “I just thought he’d look for me,” Dean's voice cut through the quiet noise in the bar as he stared at the label on his bottle. His fingernails picked at the edges in a way to distract himself. 

“I know,” you tried to form the words in your head before they tumbled out of your mouth incorrectly. “Sam loves you, Dean. He’s just…he’s tired. Does that make it right? Not necessarily. You’re his brother, but this life…it’s not the life he wanted.”

“And you think I wanted it?!” His voice raised as he looked at you incredulously. 

“I’m not saying that. I’m just saying that you and Sam are different people,” you tried to explain carefully, reminding yourself again that it’s not you, it’s Purgatory. 

He seemed to relax as he remembered this was you that he was talking to. “I’m sorry,” he groaned inwardly as he turned back in his stool to face the bar. “I would do absolutely anything for Sammy. I was lost when he was gone. I just thought he might do the same.” After a quick pull from his beer, he changed the subject. “So, what’d you do this past year?” Dean asked acrimoniously, as he glanced at you briefly and toyed with the paper label on his beer bottle.

You waited for a moment, just as the bartender placed your own beer in front of you. You moved it around in your hands for a few seconds. Like Dean, your fingers found the sticker on the bottle and began to pick at it so you wouldn’t have to look at him. “I looked for you,” you answered slowly before you pulled the beer to your mouth and took a sip. You felt his gaze now, his head turned to watch you as if he was surprised to hear what you said. “I hunted a little, here and there. Mostly just when I stumbled upon a job, though.”

“...you looked for me?”

You were surprised that he was surprised. It was your turn to turn your head back to him to meet his gaze. “Of course I did,” you said hesitantly. “I tried everything, Dean. I interrogated demons, I tried to make a deal, I tried to summon Crowley–”

He cut you off very quickly. “Woah, woah, woah,” his eyes were narrowed in on you now and you watched his entire body tense. “You tried to make a deal? And summoning Crowley?” He was pissed. You didn’t care.

“None of it worked, Dean. The crossroad demons said they didn’t know where you were, but I didn’t believe them…though I’m wondering if they really didn’t, since you were in Purgatory,” you were mostly just reading your own internal dialogue at this point. “I’m not sure how that works, exactly.” You nibbled gently on your bottom lip as you processed your thoughts.

“Are you insane?” He was still pissed. His voice rose a bit in volume and you glanced around to see the handful of other bar patrons glance in your direction. 

“Oh, calm down,” you said in a hushed tone while you rolled your eyes. “Like you wouldn’t do the same thing.” Dean knew it was true, but he still wasn’t happy. “Again, none of it worked anyway.”

“You know better than that,” he shook his head, the disappointment bled through his words. But somewhere mixed in with the frustration, you heard gratitude.

“And you know better, too. I wasn’t just going to sit on my ass or ride off into the sunset like everything was fine,” you still couldn’t find his gaze. It was easier to stare at the glass bottle between your hands.

He didn’t respond right away. The sound of Def Leppard’s “Pour Some Sugar On Me” was playing on the jukebox now, and it was the only noise you could hear just over the chatter of the other people in the bar. “Thanks,” you weren’t sure you heard him right away, but you felt his fingers graze the top of one of your hands that was clasped around the bottle. “I’m really glad I’ve got you. So if some shit ever goes down again, no goin' off and making deals to save me. If I came back and somethin' had happened to you..." his voice trailed off. You would spend a lot of time wondering what he had wanted to say, but chose not to. Instead, you moved your head to look straight into those green eyes, and that’s when you noticed it. A smirk tugged at the corners of his lips, and while his eyes were still sad, you saw a glimmer of hope.

A/N: Thank you for reading! As always, I am always open to any feedback you may have :)

Tag List: @jackles010378 @ladysparkles78 @hallecarey1 @zepskies @lyarr24

[theangelssing]

Demon's obsessions

hi guys! I'm Demon (they/them), and here's the fandom side of me. I mostly write and do some icons in my (not so) free time. I'll try to link my posts here, to help you find my pieces of work.

I don't write regularly, nor do I edit photos. My requests are open so feel free to ask me if you want something (edit &/or fanfic), I'll do it if I feel comfortable enough. Please be kind if I don't post your request right away.

I can write characters ships, x & and reader. Know that I don't write smut. My writings are mostly soft and fluffy. I'm here to bring comfort most of the time but I can add some angst or/and jealousy. I also put every warnings I can but do let me know when I forget one.

when you request something, please try to be precise if you want something complex! I also headcanon Evan Buckley as trans masc! I'll add more and more things here so give it a look sometimes. :D

Lists

Supernatural

Icons

Dean [post 1] [post 2]

Sam [post 1]

Fanfics

Special Evening with the Winchesters

Special Valentine's Day with the Winchesters

You're Sam's twin

Real - Midam

The Boys

Fanfics

Soldier Boy/Ben masterlist

Sons of Anarchy

Fanfics

Good Evening - Chibs

[hahahahahangst]

10 Things I hate about you (Be The Young 29)

GIANT TW which will be valid for each episode for suicidal thoughts, SELF H*RM, violence, cursing, relatives dying, mentions of s*x, s*xual assault

All chapter titles are song titles, some of them translated from Italian songs. We start from the first season and make out way through the series. I will break canon (mostly from the S2 finale) but will try to get back into it for the sake of ✨ lore ✨ .

Summary: Emily Reed, born and raised in Portland, is preparing her admission papers for Stanford, medical school. Little does she know, her life is about to change forever.

"After reading this whole letter, call John Winchester. [...] He’s your real father."

A/N:   idk guys, call it the musical episode, it kind of is

MASTERLIST

10 things I hate about you

Sometimes I miss when we were in it

So I made a list so I never forget

All the things I hate about you

10, your selfish

“So, did the angels bring you back in time? Was it Castiel?” Asked Emily, hanging out in the back of the Impala, skimming through a book. They were traveling towards Missouri to help another hunter with a case.

“Yeah, I saw my parents and my grandparents.” Dean had just finished talking about how Castiel brought him back in time to explain to him what Azazel wanted from them. Of course Ramiel had not lost the chance of bringing Emily back as well. 

“What did you see?” Asked Dean, not taking his eyes away from the road.

“You really want to know?” Emily scratched her nose. 

“I’m actually kind of curious. Is dad involved?” 

“Oh- trust me. He is.” 

“So?” 

Emily started telling her brothers how her whole story began. “Basically, my mom got pregnant with me out of revenge and spite.” She said. “She had a wonderful husband, caring, and they were perfectly normal. Her hunting life was behind her, for good. But there was just one problem.” Emily pretended to be the narrator of a movie and gestured in front of her mysteriously, leaning in between the front seats. “A problem that would change her life…“ She paused. “FOREVER!” She screamed and Dean and Sam smiled, clearly enjoying her scene. “That problem was… me, or better, the lack of me. She really wanted a child, but could not get pregnant.” 

“Wait, how did she go from no kids to two kids?” Asked Sam, interrupting her imitation. 

“Samuel, too much rush, you feel.” She suddenly switched to Yoda from Star Wars. “Shutting the fuck up, you must.” She cleared her voice and went back to talking suggestively. Sam seemed very amused. “I was saying… She could not get pregnant and so, desperate, she summoned a crossroad demon, expecting a normal deal. Ten years were more than enough for her to disappear and never be found again by him. Or at least, that’s what she thought.” She paused and looked at Sam and Dean, waiting for a sign of approval of her performance. Dean gestured to her to keep going. “HOWEVER!” She said, a little too loud for the size of the car. “The demon did not offer her ten years. He asked for her permission to come back to her house. He promised that nothing wrong was going to happen if she let him be. He did not specify how many times, and my mother didn’t ask.” She made another pause. “So, her wish was granted, but it was too late. When she came back home, she saw something nobody would ever want to see! Can you guess what it was?” She pointed to Dean, who shrugged. Sam, instead played her game and tried to guess: “Her husband was dead?” 

“No.” 

“Her husband was a shapeshifter?” 

“No!”

“He was… a demon?”

“What?!” Laughed Emily.

“Ghost?”

“Absolutely not-” She tried to continue explaining but could not contain her laugh anymore. ”...no, no, she found him with another woman!” Emily finally explained. 

“Ouch!” Finally Dean intervened. “That's not good.”

“Oh, and that's nothing.” Continued Emily. “My mother followed them for the rest of the night and found out he had a whole other family with this woman, who was, coincidentally, pregnant again. So all her work was in vain, as her marriage was destroyed.” 

“So…“ Sam encouraged her to keep telling. 

“So!” She snapped her fingers in front of him. “This is where John Winchester comes in. My mother was enraged, vengeful. So she went out for a drink. Or many. She met dad and my mother found out he was a hunter. They exchanged opinions and theories about a local case and kept seeing each other for a while. Apparently my mother had more experience than dad, who had just been hunting for a couple years. They liked each other, they slept together and-” Emily pointed at herself. “Nine months later I popped out of her.” She stopped suggestively gesturing in front of her face and went back to her normal voice. “When I was six months old Azazel came to turn me, and my mother let him be, as they had agreed, but when he came for Alex she had probably forgotten or thought she could fight him aaaand, that’s how I ended up here.” 

“Did you really have to make it so dramatic?” Asked Dean.

9, you’re jaded

“Shut up, you loved it.” She smiled. Sam seemed pretty amused. 

“What about the demon blood?” Asked Dean, curious. “I'm guessing you got your healthy dose?” 

“Oh, I wish I could tell you it was just one dose. Son of bitch gave me a whole bottle. I don't think my mother ever knew something like that had happened.”

“Well, that explains a lot of things.” He sighed. “Including what he meant when he said you were in a control group.” 

“I'm a demon guinea pig. Very fun experience.” She said, sarcastic.

Sam looked at her through the rearview mirror, but didn't say anything. Emily raised her eyebrows and he immediately looked away. 

You alright? She asked Sam, telepathically.

Yeah- just figured out what Ruby meant when she said you could have helped

Yeah, about that, sorry I snitched

It's alright, it was probably for the best

They quickly smiled at each other and then Emily leaned back in the seat. 

Can I say something else? Sam's voice reached Emily.

Of course.

In the last two years… didn't you and Dean figure out yet how to get along? Really? 

We tried- did he not tell you about what happened while you were away?

He's been very secretive about it.

Emily quickly gazed at Dean. Figures.

What do you mean?

“You guys talking about me or something?” Dean's voice distracted Emily from her mental conversation with Sam. 

“What makes you think that?” Asked Sam.

“Emily keeps moving her hands as if she was talking and you keep staring at me.” 

Emily and Sam exchanged a quick gaze before the younger just gave out a deep sigh and confessed. “Did you not tell Sam about what happened after he died?” To those words, Dean peeled his eyes away from the street and looked back at Emily for a second. Then, his gaze went harder and he went back at staring an indefinite point in front of him. 

8, the dumbest guy I dated

“Can we not talk about it?” He asked. 

“Dean, we have to talk about it. It doesn't have to be now, but at one point we-”

“Who says that?” He interrupted. “Who says we have to talk about it?”

“I do!” Snapped Emily. “I don't even understand why you would hide it!” 

7 talk a big name, ‘til you’re naked

“I don't exactly come out of that story looking good, you know.” He pointed at himself.

“Ah, sorry- didn't mean to destroy your reputation with your own brother!” She said, sarcastic.

“Sure, whatever you say.” He tried to dismiss her, but Emily had other plans

“Whatev-” She was about to go at him with bad words, but Sam started talking.

“Wait, Emily, wait.” He raised his hand to stop her. She rolled her eyes. “What could ever be so bad you don't want to tell me?” 

Dean glared at Emily again. She sighed and leaned back in her seat. She quickly gestured at Sam that they would talk later and went back to looking out the window. 

only 6 seconds and I had to fake it

But Sam deserved the truth. Emily knew she had to tell him.

Halfway to Missouri they stopped to rest and to eat. Sam and Emily went inside a supermarket to get some food while Dean drove away to get gas. 

“You should try a salad for once. Who knows, maybe you’ll discover you like it.” Commented Sam, pointing to a pre-packaged salad similar to the one he was about to buy. Emily took it and read the label. “It actually doesn’t sound that bad.” She looked back at the sandwich she was still holding. She shrugged and put the sandwich back on the shelf and exchanged it for the salad. “You have a terrible influence on me.” She commented. Sam laughed.

“What should we get Dean?” He continued, skimming through the shelf. 

“A whole bottle of ranch dressing? I’m sure he’d like it.” 

“Let’s get him this.” He pulled out a turkey sandwich. 

Dean was waiting for them outside the shop, impatient. They started eating while sitting on a bench. “What is that?” Dean pointed to Emily’s salad. “Since when do you eat rabbit food?” 

“It’s good! Want some?” She offered him a fork full of vegetables with a smile. He refused with a disgusted grimace. “Your loss, dude.” She shrugged and turned to Sam: he was staring in front of him, lost in his thoughts. 

“Hey, earth calling Sam!” Emily waved a hand in front of him. “Are you okay?” Sam seemed raised from his trance-like state. 

“Yeah, sorry, just-” He paused a second to look at him and Emily, who gestured to him to keep talkin. “Nothing, it's all good.” 

“Are you sure?” 

Sam hesitated for a second before answering. “It’s just I noticed something and-” 

“What is it, Sam?” Intervened Dean. From Sam’s gaze Emily knew that whatever he was about to say, they would not have liked it. “So, Emily, how come everytime you interact with Dean you feel a- like rush of adrenaline?” 

“A what?” She scratched her nose, confused.

“I don’t know, at the beginning I just thought it was a coincidence, but it’s every single time you talk to each other.” 

Emily glared over at Dean and exhaled. She didn't answer and kept eating.

“Guys, what-” 

“Alright, Sam, I know where you’re trying to go and we are not going there.” Intervened Dean. “This is not the time to talk about what happened while you were dead, okay? Drop it.”

Emily kept staring in front of them, thinking that if she ignored them, eventually they had to stop fighting. 

“Why?” Asked Sam. “What the hell must have happened to make it so hard to talk about?”

“Nothing, I- I just don't want to talk about it, okay?” Emily closed her eyes, quickly running our of patience. 

“I'm your brother, there's nothing you can't talk to me about, you-”

“I know that, but I still don't want to-”

“SHUT UP!” Screamed Emily, covering her face with her hands. She combed her hair back. Both her brothers quickly closed their mouths. “This is not a decision you get to make alone!” She pointed to Dean. “There were two of us living in that mess and I say he has to know!” 

“So what, so he can worry about me? About you? Come on, it's just gonna bring more problems!” He answered. Emily could feel words she was going to regret slowly taking place in the back of her brain, but she was not fast enough to stop herself. 

“Is that what this is about?! You don't want Sam to know how messed up you are?” She stood up and placed her lunch on the bench.

“What did you just say?”

“I said you’re messed up!” She yelled. Dean stood up in front of her. “What are you gonna do, uh?! Are you going to punch me?” Emily looked at Dean and raised her eyebrows, challenging him. “It can't hurt more than it used to hurt when you were blacked out drunk, can it?” After looking at Emily for a second, clearly angry, Dean sighed, rolled his eyes and turned the opposite way. Emily glared at Sam, who seemed shocked. “Right, turn around. Keep running from your problems, see how they solve themselves.” 

Dean sharply turned back facing Emily. “You're talking about running?” Seeing the situation was not defusing itself, Sam stood up as well. 

5, you're toxic

“Don't you get started again with-” Emily tried to say, but Dean cut her short.

“You left when I needed you the most! So don't come here judging me about running from my problems!” 

“I left? Really?!”

“Well, it wasn’t me who walked out of Bobby’s house on a random Tuesday morning!” 

“On a random morning? What are you even talking about? I was forced to leave!”

“You didn’t even try to stay!” 

“I tried for MONTHS! I was there for you even when you tried to push me away, I listened to you cry and I let you punch the shit out of me and-” He words were interrupted by a sob Emily had not seen coming. “I- I tried to understand you, okay? I tried to get behind the violence and the being drunk, but I could not be there anymore, it was- Dean it was fucking dangerous!” Emily tried to send away the tears who were about to erupt from her eyes. She sniffed.

4, can’t trust you

 “And has it ever occurred to you that I needed someone too? That, for your fault, I had to deal with everything by myself?” Dean didn’t answer. Instead, he sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “You don’t get to tell me that I didn’t try!”

“You were not a saint either, you know? Or did you forget what happened after he died?” Dean pointed at Sam. 

“Do you mean when I was about to kill myself because of you or when you were about to kill yourself by selling your soul?” She asked, bitter. 

“You know what I'm talking about!” 

“Yeah, sure, I'm sure just talking about it would have worked just fine, right? You were going to kill yourself, for god's sake!” 

“You can't point all the faults on me!” Continued Dean. “Do you ever accept any responsibility?” 

“I don't accept responsibility?” Scoffed Emily. “I spent months of my life thinking of you, you and only you, if you had eaten, if you were too drunk, how to stop you from drinking- What did you want me to do, spoon-feed you?” 

3, you still got mommy issues

“I didn’t need you to play mom with me, I can take care of myself!”

“And it shows!” Emily said, sarcastic. “Of course! You always have it under control, don't you? Tell, me did you have it under control while you used me like a punch bag or-”

“Stop bringing it up!” 

2 years of bullshit I can't undo

Emily took a deep breath, trying to recollect herself. She knew far too well that Dean and her trying to get out of a fight was almost impossible if none of them backed out. 

“Alright, you know what…“ She exhaled, calmer. “You're right. As I said, there were two of us, it's not your fault, it's…“ She glared at Sam, who was standing in the middle of the siblings. “We screwed up. We both did. But you can't pretend it didn't happen.” 

1, I hate the fact you made me love you.

[apermanentsituation]

Once upon a time you wrote a lil ficlet about paramedic!Cas based on @bamf-castiel's art. Is there any possibility of an expansion on it? By commision? I love the idea and your style! 💕

I'm so sorry, anon, you probably sent it ages ago, but I've only noticed it now, with the sudden influx of traffic to my inbox.

First of all, thank you! I'm very glad you enjoyed it. It's very nice to read such a kind message about something I wrote quite a long time ago in a spur of the moment.

Second of all, I don't know if you've ever found it, because multiple post additions are admittedly not the best way to publish anything, but there was, in fact, a second part. You can find the full post with both parts here.

I have never advertised the second part more, because only after publishing it, it came to my attention that it's basically a rewrite of a scene from my (real life nad online) friend's much longer and much better fic Any Little Heartbreak. She wasn't angry (I hope), because 1) she's an angel, 2) we've known each other for a long time now, and she knows that my memory is basically, uh, very much not good. At the time, I was 100% sure I was just recreating a popular trope in medical au fics (I was reading tons and tons of deancas fics back then), but I must have been mistaken. The entire ordeal left me deeply ashamed of myself and my own smooth brain.

So! Enjoy the second part of the paramedic!Cas fic, or better yet, go and read "Any Little Heartbreak" if you're craving some of that sweet, sweet Dean and Cas hospital drama goodness.

[annmariethrush]

CAS IS GONE AND DEAN SUDDENLY WANTS TO KILL HIMSELF??? A THING WHICH THEY EXPLICITLY STATE IN THE EPISODE??? THAT DEAN WANTS TO DIE?? AND THEN HE FINDS OUT CAS IS BACK AND ITS LIKE THE WHOLE GODDAMN WORLD IS MADE OF SUNSHINE AND RAINBOWS?? THEY ALMOST ROMEO AND JULIETED THESE BITCHES!!! CAS WAS ALREADY ALIVE AGAIN. DEAN FINDS OUT WITHIN AN HOUR OF GETTING REVIVED AGAINST HIS WILL????

THEY ALMOST ROMEO AND JULIETED DEAN AND CAS ARE YOU FUCKING ME???

[thedorkchesters]

Is there a fic out there where Dean actually does go into the Ma'lak box for a time? 👀

[drulalovescas]

Happy 4 years to Dean's purgatory prayer to those who celebrate

[sailorsallyart]

I had so much fun participating in @deancasreversebang this year! Thank you @tsujiharu for writing a wonderful story to accompany the art above! 💛 If you like domestic Destiel, make sure to give 'Today and Every Day' a read! (I'm posting this a lil ahead of time so the link might not be available yet but you can always like/reblog for later 😊)

[waywardxwords]

Chapter 8 - Save Me

Summary: After a random encounter introduces you to Dean Winchester, you can't shake the magnetic pull you feel towards him. For years, you've felt like everything in your life is under control--a promising career, financial stability and no real responsibilities. Dean's a hunter; it's his life and job. But somehow when you meet, your worlds are flipped upside down and you have to decide if it's a chance worth taking.

Chapter Warnings: Slight language; there's a ton of dialogue in this one but I feel like it's necessary to prep for the chapters ahead

Pairing: Dean Winchester x female!reader

Word Count: ~3k

[1][2][3][4][5][6][7]

If you were being honest with yourself, you didn’t know how you felt about going to Kansas for the unforeseeable future. While it wasn’t like you went into an office everyday and you could really work from anywhere within the United States, you had still built your life in Virginia. You had friends—especially Jen—and it felt weird leaving her here, unable to defend herself. But Dean had assured you she would be taken care of, and you knew that you were unable to defend yourself against these monsters Dean and Sam knew how to fight. 

“You about ready?” Dean asked as he tapped softly on your opened bedroom door. 

A heavy sigh fell from your lips as you looked at your packed-to-the-brim duffel bag and backpack. Dean said it was important to pack as light as possible, but without knowing when you’d be back, it was hard to be selective in what you brought. 

“I think so,” you mumbled, your lip caught between your teeth yet again. You released it as Dean stepped into the room. 

“Hey, I know this is a lot to take in,” Dean started slowly. Both of the boys kept treating you like you were made of glass, which was a little bit annoying but also made sense. It felt like you were all waiting for the other shoe to drop. 

“I’m okay,” you said out loud for him, but also for yourself. “I’m not really a big fan of the unknown…I’m a planner.” You mumbled as you looked around at your things.

“Not big on taking chances, huh?” Dean chuckled softly as his eyes watched you move. Again, it was like he was waiting for it all to set in and for you to crumble.

“Nope,” you sighed as you finally looked back at him. “Rule follower, remember?” You managed a half-smile as you remembered the first time you met in Atlanta.

“Oh, I remember,” Dean smirked back. He took a few steps towards you and you both sat on the edge of your bed. “Just keep in mind–this doesn’t have to be forever.” Your head had dipped a bit, so he moved his to find your gaze. 

“I get that,” you nodded. You didn’t want to offend him; this was his life. He was used to packing an ‘oh shit’ bag and getting out of town. He was used to all of the things that went bump in the night. You, on the other hand, were still trying to wrap your mind around it all. “I just wish I could circle a date on the calendar and know when I could come home.”

Dean nodded as he processed your words. “Tell ya what,” he started. “How about we take it one day at a time, for now,” he paused but you waited for the ‘and then’ part. “Once we get back to Kansas, we can sit down and come up with a plan. Figure out what it looks like so we can get you back home.” 

You didn’t want to be presumptuous, but there was a tone in his voice that almost sounded like he wasn’t looking forward to that. But since everything had happened, you really hadn’t been given a moment to figure out what this was between you and Dean.

“That sounds fair,” you answered honestly. Dean smiled and seemed hesitant, but leaned over and kissed the side of your head anyway.

“Good,” he seemed okay with your answer. He sighed and looked around at the rest of your room. “Anything I can do to help?”

You pushed your hair behind your ears and followed his gaze as you, too, looked around. “I don’t think so,” you said softly. “I’ve packed just about everything that will fit into my bags. I’m just worried I’m forgetting something.” 

“We do have stores in Kansas, ya know,” Dean winked as he stood and reached for your duffel. “Jesus, woman.” He muttered as he slung it over his shoulder. “You got a dead body in here, or what?”

You managed a laugh as you stood to follow him and slung your backpack up on your shoulders. “No, Dean, I think I’ll leave the dead bodies to you.” You patted him on the shoulder and walked just beyond him, but you heard him laugh as you rounded the corner into the hallway.

“Everything locked up?” Sam asked as you closed up the front door and headed to meet the boys in the driveway.

“Yep,” you sighed and readjusted your backpack a bit. “I mean, it probably doesn’t matter when it comes to demons, right? They can get through locked doors, I’m guessing.”

They didn’t answer you directly but nodded slightly. “I’m guessing you want to bring your car to Kansas?” Dean asked as he eyed your garage door.

“Oh, absolutely,” you answered quickly. “I just figured I would follow behind you guys, if that’s okay.” You said as you used the keypad on the side of the garage to type in your PIN number that opened the door. 

Sam and Dean stared at you, confused for a minute. “Sam’s flying back to Kansas,” Dean said. “This is a rental so I figured I’d drop it off on the way and hitch a ride with you, if that’s alright.” His words made you turn around slowly and your brows pulled together in confusion. 

“Wait,” you started carefully. “You flew here?” 

Dean caught why you were so surprised and flashed his white teeth in a small smile. He pulled at the back of his neck as Sam watched you both look at each other. “Sweetheart, I don’t own European cars. Don’t drive ‘em either, if I can help it.” He shrugged as he thumbed to the Volkswagen Jetta in your driveway. 

“Okay,” there was more you wanted to say but you decided not to rub in how much Dean hated flying in front of Sam. You weren’t familiar with their dynamic at all, but Dean had told you that he didn’t like being afraid, and that he always tried to be strong for his brother. You didn’t want to embarrass him or say something you shouldn’t in front of Sam. “Do I wanna know why you have to get back to Kansas quickly?” You turned your gaze to the younger Winchester. 

Sam chuckled softly and shook his head. “Work…related,” he mumbled. “So probably not.”

You nodded once and turned back to your car. “Okay, then,” you breathed. “I’ll follow you to the airport and wait for you to drop off the rental.” 

You loaded up your backpack and Dean tossed your duffel bag in the car.  As you both turned away, you faced each other, maybe a foot apart. 

“I’ll see you at the airport,” he said softly. 

“Be safe,” you said back as you studied his features and tried to read what he was thinking. He nodded, and after one more look, he went to walk back to the rental car. 

Before he could step away, you took a chance. You reached for his jacket and tugged so he turned back to you. With his jacket still between your fingers, you pressed your lips to his in a rather quick, but hard kiss. For a moment, he paused but then his hands cupped your face as he kissed you back. 

As the pop echoed around you, you didn’t notice how Sam had turned to give you some privacy and scratched awkwardly at the back of his head. “What was that for?” Dean asked as his eyes looked between yours. 

“To say I’m sorry, again, for not believing you,” you started softly but continued before he could say anything. “And for saving my life.” A small smile tugged up the corner of his lip just enough for his dimple to appear. 

“I don’t want you to apologize to me again, got it?” His thumb caressed your cheek gently. 

“No more apologizing from either of us,” you stared into his eyes until he nodded. 

“Deal,” he agreed, though somewhat hesitantly. 

“Okay,” you pulled back and waved at Sam. “Thanks to you too, Sam.” You called after him. He turned back around and nodded. “And I guess I’ll be seeing you in Kansas.”

“I’ll see you there,” he nodded as he waved. “Drive safe.”

You nodded and watched Dean walk back to the car. Just before he climbed into the driver’s seat, he called out after you. “And I’ll be seeing you soon.”

Even after everything, you couldn’t help the heat that radiated in your cheeks or the way a smile pulled across your lips. 

Dean had dropped Sam off at the drop off area at the airport. Once he had gathered his backpack, you followed Dean to the rental car return. It only took a few minutes before you popped the trunk to your Toyota Camry and waited for Dean to toss in his duffel bag. 

He pulled open the passenger door and leaned down. “You want me to drive?” He asked carefully. Dean seemed like the kind of guy who preferred driving, but you smiled and shook your head ‘no’ anyway. 

“How about I take the first shift? And then we can switch,” you suggested. He seemed content enough with that response and climbed in. “Sorry it’s not the Impala.” You offered with a small smile. 

“Ah, it’s alright,” he sighed as he pulled on his seatbelt. “I’ll get you in a Chevy or Ford, eventually.” He smiled back. You chuckled softly and shook your head as you pulled away from the airport. 

“What’s the address?” You asked as you toyed with the navigation on the dash. 

Dean grumbled, something about fancy cars and shitty navigation systems but you just rolled your eyes. He plugged in an address for Lebanon, Kansas. 

“Jesus,” you mumbled, as the screen totaled your drive time at 20 hours and 32 minutes. 

“Buckle up, sweetheart. Hope you’re ready for a long drive,” Dean chuckled. It was already late into the evening, pushing midnight by now. 

“It’s weird, I feel like I’ve been up for days at this point,” you muttered as you adjusted the air and your seatbelt. 

“You sure you don’t want me to drive?” He eyed you carefully. That was the thing about Dean’s gaze: you could feel it even when you didn’t see it. 

“I’m alright. We can switch when we stop,” you shifted the car into drive and eased on the gas. Dean unbuckled his seat belt to pull off his jacket before he buckled it again. “I’m supposed to call Jen tomorrow. I’m not even sure what to say to her, she recognized you from the photos we found online.” The sound of your voice was anything but strong as your stomach flip-flopped. 

“I’m guessin’ the truth isn’t an option?” Dean asked. 

You shook your head no. “And say what? She got possessed by a demon named Meg, her eyes turned black and she flung me against the wall a few times? Yeah, I’m pretty sure she’d have me committed,” you fell into a comfortable speed as you got on the interstate and hit cruise control. 

Dean half chuckled and shook his head as he glanced out the passenger window and then back to the windshield, his features illuminated by the headlights of drivers coming down the other side of the highway. “That probably wouldn’t go over too well. It’s a lot for anybody to take in.”

You muddled over a thought before you said it out loud. “How did you take it when you first found out?” You asked him as you glanced between him and the road ahead of you. 

His brows kind of pulled together and you took that as his thinking face. “I don’t really know how to explain that,” he started softly. “It’s all I’ve ever known, really.”

Shock had to have graced your features but you tried to calm your expression. While you recognized this was all new to you, it wasn’t to Dean. And you certainly didn’t want to offend him. 

“When did you find out about the things that go bump in the night?” You asked him carefully. 

“When I was four,” he didn’t look at you when he answered. Instead, his gaze went out the passenger window again as he watched the trees pass by in darkness. 

“Four?! Dean, you were a baby,” you breathed. And then you remembered. “You were four when your mom died…”

There was a moment of silence that you took as his acknowledgment that you had the right idea. But then, he continued. 

“My Dad kind of went into overdrive at that point. Trying to find what killed her,” he explained. You nodded as you tried to absorb it. When he didn’t offer up anything additional, you broke the silence. 

“You were just a kid, Dean…” you felt a pang of sadness for the man next to you. It made you angry, even. “No kid should ever have to go through that.”

“No kid should have to lose their parent to some supernatural asshole, either,” he said back firmly. You somehow knew he wasn’t upset with you by the comment, just trying to make you understand. “Seeing my Dad go through that, and having to make sure Sammy was okay…” he shook his head as he trailed off. 

The dots started to connect for you. Dad was busy fighting the monsters, Dean had to take care of his brother, you kept your thoughts to yourself but made a mental note. He had to be strong—couldn’t be afraid. 

“Anyway,” he cleared his throat and resituated himself in his seat. “All that to say, I don’t know what it’s like, really, to be thrown into this world that I live in. But I know it can’t be easy.”

“I don’t want you to worry about me, Dean,” you answered quickly, and you meant it. It seemed as though Dean was worried about protecting everyone in his life and being strong through it. “I don’t want to burden you with that.”

“Sweetheart, I’m gonna worry about you whether you’re sitting right here next to me, or you’re thousands of miles away in another state,” he looked at you when he spoke. “And it’s not a burden.”

“Can I ask you something?” Your bravery to ask the hard questions surprised you. Something about being in the car with him for almost a full day made your usual resolve soften. 

“Shoot,” he stole another glance at you. 

“Do you like it? Fighting…monsters?” You asked, for lack of a better word. 

Dean mulled it over before he answered right away. “I like helping people,” he said simply. “I like being able to save people so they won’t have to go through the same thing we did.”

“But who saves Dean Winchester?” Your eyes found him in the dark car once again.

“I don’t need saving, sweetheart,” he smirked again, a hint of confidence to his tone.

“Everybody needs saving sometimes, Dean,” you answered softly.

The only noise around you came from the hum of the engine.

“I guess Sammy does,” Dean looked out the window. You could tell he didn’t want the conversation to continue at that point, so you switched gears slightly.

“Does it ever scare you?” The idea of fighting monsters terrified you, but you were curious if Dean was ever afraid. 

He seemed to process the question like it was something he had never been asked, which shocked you considering the line of work. “I mean, I guess sometimes. Usually when one of us is in trouble.” You nodded, but he continued. “When one of us is knockin’ on death’s door, I guess that scares me.”

Each new fact you found out about this life Dean lived in brought on a new wave of shock. “Death?” You asked him as you looked between him and the road. 

Dean chuckled, but you could tell it was from him being a bit uncomfortable. “Let’s save that one for another day,” he shifted in his seat. 

Maybe that was a good idea. You redirected the conversation slightly. “Where does your fear of flying fall on the scale of being scared?” You smirked. 

“Oh, that one’s still at the top of the list,” he winked with a wide smile that reflected the light from the streetlights as you drove, welcoming a lighter conversation.

“But you got on a plane anyway. To get to me,” you stole another glance in his direction. 

“Well, yeah,” he said simply. “Sam said I should let it go, that something must have made you change your mind. But when I couldn’t reach you…” he shook his head. “I just had to be sure you were alright.” His words caused a flutter to form in your stomach, and you smiled, but that was shortly followed by a yawn that tugged at your jawline. “Getting tired?” Dean asked.

You shrugged a bit but couldn’t help the nod that followed. “It’s been a really long day,” you sighed. “I guess I was more tired than I thought.”

“That’s what happens when shock starts wearing off,” he reached to place his hand just above your knee over your denim jeans. It was obvious it was meant as something comforting as his thumb traced small circles on the fabric there. “Why don’t we pull off? I can switch with you.”

“Dean, you need sleep, too,” you argued.

“We can stop eventually if I get tired, too. But I’m alright, sweetheart,” his voice was gruff and raspy–you could sense the exhaustion there, but you obliged.

There was a rest stop up ahead and you took the exit slowly. Once the car was in park, you opened the driver’s door to switch with Dean. As you both got settled in your new seats, Dean pressed a quick kiss to your temple before he adjusted the mirrors. 

“You just get some rest,” he said gently. 

You nodded against the headrest of the seat and closed your eyes. “Night, Dean.” It wouldn’t take long for sleep to find you.

A/N: Happy Thursday, friends! I know this chapter probably felt a bit "filler" with the dialogue, but it was important for the development of future chapters. I promise things will get more interesting in the next chapter!

Let me know what you think! I appreciate all the likes, comments & reblogs more than you know!

Chapter 9 will be posted on (or maybe before, TBD) Thursday, 4/25!

Chapter 9 Preview:

One blink, then two. The hum of the engine and vibration in the seat of the car reminded you where you were. There were so many emotions that coursed through you as you remembered: demons, monsters, Dean. 

Your nose twitched as you smelled the air and your eyes were drawn over to Dean. The sun was out now–high in the sky.

“Dean?” You cleared your throat as you shifted in the passenger seat to sit up fully. He did a double take and you saw the smile spread across his lips.

“Morning, sunshine,” the gruffness to his words and the look on his face made your stomach flip–or was that hunger? You settled on a mixture of both. 

“What time is it? Where are we?” You asked as blinked a few more times to try to take in your surroundings. 

“It’s about 8:30,” Dean answered as he glanced at the clock. “And we’re about an hour outside of Louisville, Kentucky.” 

“Jesus, I slept for eight hours, Dean! You should’ve woken me up,” you rubbed the sleep from your eyes and felt around your hair inconspicuously. You didn’t want to give away that you were slightly concerned with what you looked like after passing out in the passenger seat. God, what if you drooled?! You swiped your fingers across your mouth quickly. 

“Nah, you needed the sleep,” he answered simply. “You had a rough few days there.”

“Thanks,” you breathed. Suddenly your stomach groaned and you hoped he couldn’t hear it. “I’m starving. How about we stop and switch off again?”

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[agender-wolfie]

Guys. Stop tagging your OC stories as X reader. It’s hard to sift through and I don’t go to the x reader tag for OC’s I don’t care about .

[monotonouscigarette]

[hahahahahangst]

My own Rihanna (Be The Young 21)

GIANT TW which will be valid for each episode for suicidal thoughts, self-h*rm, violence, cursing, relatives dying, mentions of s*x, s*xual assault

All chapter titles are song titles, some of them translated from Italian songs. We start from the first season and make out way through the series. I will break canon (mostly from the S2 finale) but will try to get back into it for the sake of ✨ lore ✨ .

Summary: Emily's life used to be normal. Until one day, her family died, leaving behind just one letter.

"After reading this whole letter, call John Winchester. [...] He’s your real father."

A/N: Yeah. I’m sorry for this one. And for the next one. Like... I’m sorry....

MASTERLIST

My own Rihanna

Everything ends, it’s not love but the fact we’re both hurt that keeps us together We were not two halves, we were two wholes And so we were incompatible together I didn’t love you like crazy, I went crazy to love you What am I supposed to demonstrate if you don’t even look at me We’re two monsters You spent more time being afraid of losing me than actually enjoying our time

Emily was unsure of how she ended up where she was. 

One day she woke up and she was in a house, in the middle of nowhere, with a lot of other people around who all seemed to have powers like hers. With no way of contacting her brothers, she had to take matters into her own hands and guide the very unlikely group of “chosen children'' that was formed in that abandoned city. She tried to pretend to be strong and not afraid, in control, but she was slowly spiraling, not having any idea of what they were up against or how to get out of there, especially as Ava grew more and more nervous and upset.

Sam joined them the following day. 

When she saw him appear in the room, she could do nothing but hug him. She could feel how scared he was, but there was also a hint of relief from finally finding her. It was good to have their power back and after weeks, it actually started feeling less weird and intrusive. It just became a fact that if they were feeling something intense, the other person would feel it too. 

On the night she was reunited with Sam, the yellow-eyed demon spoke to her in her dreams. He raved and raved about how much more powerful than everybody else she was, about how she should be the winner of his “contest“, because she was “special”.

“Technically, you’ve already won once.” He said, shrugging. “I just want to see if you can win again.”  Then, he showed her the night he chose her. 

“You see, getting all that blood out of me wasn’t easy. But I needed to see what would happen if I overpowered you. The other people in this town… they only got a couple of drops. More than enough to mess you up, but you and the rest of your group… Oh, the things you could have done.” 

“You know that demons lie of the time, right?” Said Sam as she talked to him about all this. They were walking outside the building, making sure nobody else had arrived and that they didn't have any unwanted guests. 

 “I know, but… what if it's true? I mean, Meg also mentioned it.”

“Maybe he's trying to put us against each other?”

“Yeah, maybe.” She exhaled. “Sam, I'm going to check on Ava, will you be okay out here?” 

The rest of the memories she had of that day were confused, scattered, but mostly painful. 

In any way possible. That was the last time she saw him alive.

Dean arrived too late. 

Emily had been trying to keep Sam alive for almost an hour. Everybody else was dead. Her knife was still in Jake, who Emily had repeatedly stabbed, screaming. He now laid on the ground, a pool of blood slowly soaking into the dirt. Everybody else was dead. It was just Emily.  

A pool of blood was also forming around Sam. All of Emily's attempts at keeping him alive were failing. 

“Don't worry Sam, you'll be alright, I am sure Dean will be here soon and he will know what to do.” She kept whispering as she covered his wound with one hand and tried to keep his heart beating with the other one. “He’ll know what to do.” She said, “He will save you.” There was nothing to do. Sam had been stabbed from side to side. There was no way of keeping the blood inside of him. Emily knew it.

She knew he was dead. He had been for a while. His heart stopped beating, his lungs stopped working. The blade went through his spine. The bottom half of her body and her forearms were completely covered in blood, the border between hers, Sam's and Jake's becoming indistinguishable the more it dried on her. 

When she heard Dean's voice, she had already given up. She was kneeling next to Sam, her head on his chest, squeezing his lifeless hand. She wasn’t even crying anymore, her voice lost in all the screaming she had already done.

She did not dare to talk. She drove back by herself, trying to keep up with Dean's reckless turns and speed. When they got back at Bobby's, she looked at Dean from a distance. 

She knew perfectly well that a small word, a breath too loud, would ignite a fight she did not want to have. Not then, not there.

Not anymore.

Sam was dead because of her. Because of her distraction.

She left him alone. She should have never left him alone. It was all her fault. 

She thought it and she was sure Dean thought it too. 

Nobody spoke for the rest of the night. Emily sat on the couch, looking at Dean's every move. She tried to cry as quietly as possible. 

She didn't wash her body or her clothes, the stench of the dried blood perpetually making its way into her lungs. 

The fried chicken Bobby brought back remained untouched. 

Emily dared to move only when she saw Dean opening up the second whiskey bottle of the night. She stood up, pretending to be confident and holding her breath to stop her sobbing. She walked to the table and slid the bottle away from Dean’s hands. Emily poured herself a big glass of whiskey and tentatively sat down next to Dean. 

He briefly looked at her, but didn't say anything. 

Emily looked at Sam's body. All she wanted was for him to pop up into her head and say something witty and wise, something along the lines of “you should talk with Dean, it will help”. Something that, she was sure, would have annoyed her. 

“Dean, I-” She tried to say.

“Shut up.” He immediately interrupted her, his knuckles whitening as he held his glass a little tighter. 

Emily looked at him. What was she thinking, sitting there like that? How could she ever even think for a split second of being normal siblings for one day? She stood up, nervous. “Okay, I'll-” she started, taking one step towards the main room. 

“GOD DAMMIT I SAID SHUT UP, NOT LEAVE!” Yelled Dean, grabbing her from her wrist and making Emily stop in the middle of the step, startled. She looked over to him, tears already filling her eyes. Dean let go of her wrist as if it was made of fire. “Sorry- Just… just sit down. Please.” His voice was filled with regret.

Emily made her way back to her chair. She took a deep breath. 

It's not a good time to fight.

It's not a good time to cry. 

She kept repeating in her mind. 

A couple hours of silence later, Bobby showed up again, with the same, cold, soggy chicken he had already offered them twice. 

They refused in unison. 

“You should eat something.” He said. Emily was trying to find a polite way to send him his way, but Dean had, of course, other plans. 

“I said I am fine.” He said, sharp. 

“Dean, I hate to bring this up, I really do,“ he said, putting down the chicken. Emily tried to signal him to stop, already knowing what he wanted to ask, but he either didn't see or ignored her. “But don't you think maybe it's time… we bury Sam?” 

A window basically exploded on Emily's right. Nobody even questioned or reacted to it, but Emily knew full well it was her. It wasn’t the first time she was having trouble controlling her powers when she was upset. 

“No.” Simply said Dean, going back to his glass of whiskey. 

“Maybe we could…“ 

“What? Torch his corpse? Not yet.” 

The glass in Emily's hand exploded, cutting her. She was only able to mutter a slight profanity before Bobby spoke again. “I want you to come with me, I don't think you should be alone.”

“I'm not alone, Emily is here.”

“Right, so instead of killing yourself, you kill each other? How is that of any help?” Dean stood up, but Emily immediately grabbed his jacket and dragged him back down. Surprisingly, he opposed no resistance and just fell back onto the chair. 

“Bobby, just go, okay? We'll be fine.” Said Emily, firmly holding Dean's forearm. The old man took two steps to the side of the door, so that only Emily could see him, and signaled her to come. She walked out of the room and closed the door behind her, Dean scowling at her every step. 

“Listen, something is going down. Something apocalyptic. I could use your help.”

“Bobby, no. You are right, Dean shouldn’t be here alone. We'll be fine. Really. You go.” The man patted her shoulder and left. Emily went back in the room and sat next to Dean, who was sniffing and hiding his face. 

All of a sudden, Emily remembered what Sam said to her in the hospital, when Dean was dying. “Just do it.” 

It took her a big dose of courage, she wasn't even sure why it was so hard, but she finally put her hand on Dean's shoulder. At first, he seemed startled. He froze under the touch. But after a handful of seconds, she felt his body relax slightly and he put his own hand on hers. 

For a split second she thought that maybe… everything was going to be okay. 

When night arrived, the yellow-eyed demon appeared in front of her. She stood up, alarmed. Dean stayed exactly where he saw and when Emily checked again, she noticed that her body did too. It was like a weird dream. 

She instinctively pointed her gun at the demon. He smiled.

“Howdy, Emily.” 

She didn't answer, but kept pointing the gun at him, conscious that it would have done nothing. “You wanna put that away?” 

He stood there, silently, until Emily finally lowered her gun. “Congratulations, by the way. You are the last man standing. Again.”

“Bite me.” She said, bitter. 

“Oh come on, don't be like that. I was rooting for you!” 

“Did you at least have fun?” She snapped. “Was it really necessary? For Sam to die?” 

“I needed the strongest and I didn't want to settle for the silver medal. I want the golden champion, and that's you.”

“What do you even need me for?” 

“Oh, I got a laundry list of things for you to do…“

“Yeah right. As if I would follow any of your orders.”

“What are you going to do, kill me?”

“I don't know, I might.”

“You have failed once, what makes you think you would succeed this time?” He smirked. “Besides… If you help me, I'll help you.” He said. Pointing at Sam. 

“Define… help.” 

“I might bring your brother back. Imagine… all would be forgiven. Your brother Dean, you secretly idolize him, don't you?” Emily scoffed. “Darling, no need to lie to me, I see inside of you. Just imagine- He would forgive you for letting Sam die like this. Maybe… Maybe he might also tell you that he's proud of you. He might be just like the Dean you dreamt about in the djinn’s hallucination.” 

Emily swallowed, staring at Dean's frozen image, crying over his brother. 

She knew it was not a good idea, but it was still an idea. The only one she had all night.

If she could bring Sam back, all would have been forgiven, all would have been solved. 

“What do I need to do?” She asked. 

Emily closed her eyes one second too long and fell asleep. When she opened them again, Dean was not next to her anymore. She ran out of the kitchen doors and saw him about to leave. 

“Going somewhere?” She asked. 

“I-'' Dean tried to speak, but was interrupted by the door slamming behind him. That time, Emily did it on purpose, because she had seen what he had in his hand. She made sure she also made the key turn and flew directly in her hand. “What is that?!” He pointed at the metal box he was holding.

“None of your business.” He spat. 

Emily quickly walked over to him. “I have read every single book in this room, you think I don’t recognize it?” She said, enraged. “You are selling your soul, aren’t you?'

“It's my soul, I can do whatever I want with it.” 

“You sick…“ spat Emily, pushing Dean against the wall, adding a new adjective to each step. ”... unaffectionate, egoistic bastard.” Dean let the box fall when he finally hit the wall. Emily kicked it behind her. “Have you already forgotten how it felt when dad did the same for you?!” 

“You really don't understand, do you?!” 

“I don't-'' She repeated, exasperated, closing her left hand into a fist as she kept Dean pinned against the wall with the other one “What am I supposed to do, uh?” Dean rolled his eyes. “Just watch you kill yourself? The grip she had on him was getting so tight she lifted him a couple of inches off the ground.

“Honestly? I don't care.” He said, cold. Emily punched him. He barely reacted. She hit him again, bursting into tears immediately after. “Is this how much you really care about me?” She said, “What am I supposed to do once you die?” 

“You can go back to Portland and live your dream life, I don’t really care.”. Emily could not resist the urge of punching him yet again. 

“What about you stop trying to kill yourself?” She yelled. “The virus thing first, now this! What on earth has happened to you?”  

“Emily, you are the only thing standing between me and a world where Sam is not dead.”

“I swear to god“ Emily pushed Dean further into the wall, which she heard crack under the pressure. ”... you will have to step over my dead body to get out that door.” 

“Don’t… challenge me.” Emily threw Dean away from the wall and pushed him on the floor. 

“So that’s it, uh?” She said, trying her best to not get interrupted by her sobbing, which was slowly closing down her nose. “You’d rather have me dead than having to spend the rest of your life alone with me?” She tried to kick him in the stomach but only managed to get to his shins. “So much for being my brother.” Emily turned her back to her brother and leaned towards the window next to the door. She placed her head on the cold glass as she heard her brother stand back up. “Dean, there has to be another way!” 

“There isn’t.” 

“DID YOU EVEN TRY LOOKING?!” She yelled, turning to push him towards the opposite wall. His gaze suddenly turned to anger. “Or did you just go with the most self destructive solution of them all?” She was expecting a punch. She stared at him for a couple of seconds before starting to yell again. “LOOK AT YOU! Goddamit, Dean, I have been hitting you for ten minutes and you haven’t even reacted yet!”

“Don’t-” 

“STOP - TALKING!” She said, punching the wall next to Dean’s head. “The Dean I know would have punched me already- I SAID SHUT UP!” She screamed as he saw him opening his mouth again. “I DON’T NEED YOU TO TAKE ALL MY PUNCHES, I NEED MY BROTHER!”

“I AM NOT YOUR BROTHER!” He finally snapped back. Emily’s body froze for a second, a window exploded and only then, she let go of him. Her face turned emotionless. 

It was all for nothing. 

She had been suffering for years, trying to bond, listening to Sam saying “You just need to get over the fear of getting attached to each other“ and trying to believe it, all for someone who didn’t even consider her family. 

“Right.” She whispered, drying her face. “Of course. How could I ever think something like that.” She took the key to the door out of her jeans pocket and threw it on the table. 

“You know what?” She continued, not even trying to hide her crying anymore. “Have it your way. Kill yourself. I don’t care anymore.” She swallowed the actual words she wanted to say. Just be my brother. I care about you. I can’t be alone right now. Don’t let me walk out that door. Please care about me.

She opened the door. 

Just say something. 

A word. 

Just one. 

Give me one reason to stay.

“It’s all your fault.” 

Definitely not the words Emily wanted to hear. 

She left the house and sat in the same stolen car she had used to go back there. 

She drove to Fall Parks and sat on a bench. 

That was it. 

That was the night she was going to kill herself. 

She had nothing left to live for. 

“Now, now, don’t be like that.” Said a voice next to her, startling her. The demon had appeared next to Emily. “I am sure it’s nothing bringing back Sam can’t fix.” He smiled suggestively. 

“No. I am not helping you.” 

“What are you going to do then?” 

“None of your business.” 

“Oh, come on, I am literally the only person who would talk to you right now.” He looked at her, sympathetically. 

“Very funny. Can you leave?” 

“I was thinking…“ he started, completely ignoring her request. “If you are about to kill yourself, why not die while trying to get your brother back? Maybe Dean could change his mind about you not being part of the family.” Emily finally met his yellow gaze. “Of course, bringing back Sam would be something so big… Dean would have no choice than to love you back, right? Damn, he might even start worrying about you just like he does for Sam.” 

Emily was unsure. Did she really want to have anything to do with Dean anymore? 

All she wanted for all of it to stop. To never have to worry about that again. 

To take a sharp object and trace a long, vertical line on her forearm. One that would last forever. 

“Emily, the life you have always dreamed about, the one where Dean always eats your pie and hugs you when you are down, the life where you are not the family disappointment… The key to get that is just to bring Sam back.” She swallowed, trying to rationalize what he was saying. “You would become Dean’s favorite. He would never dare to hurt you ever again.” 

Fuck it.

“Okay. I am in.”

[pinkiebieberpie]

pov: your camera roll if you were dating dean winchester (college au)

supernatural masterlist + tagging my sun ☀️ @ghostlyfleur

[very-uncorrect]

[yurideancas]

case fic where dean and cas have to pretend to be married couple with a kid to go to some family therapy meeting and jack is SO excited about it!!!getting into the role a little too easy