#SPEAKING OF WHICH. SHIRLEY!
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Me when I remember that my ocs have interpersonal relationships
#like obvi i love ames and ringo to death#but man recently ALL my thought have been on the sacrificial triad <- need to come up w a better name for them#like mfw thea and miren and shirley fuck each other up irreparably while raph spurs it on#and thea died long ago but he needed to live so badly#and MIREN miren the eldest sibling with nothing but their brother needed him to live so badly#that thea commandeered mirens body through possession and miren let him#and mirens entire life was consumed and theyre constantly exhausted from the energy theyre giving up#but thea is There and thats enough for them#and maybe they've been looking for something to devote themselves entirely to and not have to make decisions for#SPEAKING OF WHICH. SHIRLEY!#shirley who helped thea hide his own body and tried to help him find his killer#who bonded to the diez siblings and fell in love with thea#but shirley is a detective in a corrupt police force and the guilt of all the cover-ups is killing her#and she knowingly causes more situations like theas for the sake of protecting their triad#but the guilt threatens to swallow her whole so she turns to luck and flips coins to make her decisions#and she turns to thea and he comforts her and reassures her and tells her that the only thing she can do is go along with it#to make sure that none of their necks end up on the plate bcos she could never hope to defect and get away with it#so shirley throws herself into that mindset with theas encouragement#and THEN she sees that she CAN make differences that she DOESNT have to take everything lying down#and she realises that she is deep in this hole and thea is the one who told her to dig#thea whos the only one that shes trusted and confided in for years and all that trust shatters in a second#meanwhile in the leadup to this thea himself has been slowly realising that defiance is an option#but he cannot make the leap because he died by defiance before and if he dies again it will be mirens body that goes#and hes been digging this hole with shirley for so long that he doesnt know how to stop#so he hopes that if he keeps digging he can make it out of this unscathed (he will not)#um ja so basically forthea divorce arc mystery solved arc miren lost arc#they are in my thoughts and brain
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i dont usually post WIPs on here but my pen tablet broke so i wont be able to finish this as quickly as i wanted to so here have my son
also cause I dont think they showed off if they gave him a new guitar in game (im just being patient til the ENG version comes out n hearing abt the JPN stories thru word of mouth cuz im not dealing w another genesic situation again) heres a dumb blurb abt how i designed his guitar here:
i based his instrument heavily on C.C.'s guitar from the OG code black manga but designed it to be more like a wolf paw rather than a cat paw since hes a wolf and now the lead guitarist in the lost stories' code black event
here's how i was gonna lay out the colors
#celestadorart#art wip#i thought this out too much so im forcing u all to listen to my rambles til i can make a full visual for yall lol#i am a Very Normal individual and can be trusted w rock band aus (lie)#also erm speaking of which once i get a new pen expect some kallen n shirley code black redesigns in the future smiles#also cc since shes not in the band in lost stories for some reason#lulus i Might do somn with but lets be real his outfit is the most cuntiest its hard to change perfection lmao
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i think books should often have illustrations as words and images are like sweet lovers
#i can draw. can i illustrate someones book.#can someone illustrate my book.#i speak#ive been reading more lately idk if ive mentioned that but i havent read novels regularly since 2020#i feels beautiful#ive been reading the lottery and other stories by shirley jackson and shes one of my favorite authors now i think#her style! every story she writes has this everyday feeling to it its beautiful#and even if the story just reflects a typical moment in life she writes it in an uncanny way which suggests you are only seeing the surface#i started a book diary#i write the title author starting and finishing date and i write some thoughts i had on the book
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thinking normal thoughts about the 2 community dnd epsiodes
#hmm#i dont know if i knwo enough about dnd to talk about this#elf annie#monk troy ?#i wanna make someone a paladin but im nto sure who#cleric shirley#the shows got britta as a ranger which... hmm..#hate how abed refuses jeff being uncomfortable w/the rp#shut up let him say his opener and roll a charisma check#sparrow speaks
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youtube
For an example of a good monologue, pls skip ahead until you see Brad Dourif's delightful face :)
Getting angry again thinking abt how good midnight mass could've been if it wasn't bad
#it really felt more WASP than catholic but i think american catholics are just Like That#linklater carried the acting of this show on his back#his autism was respectable#all these other white people need to GO they are NOT GOOD#he is not good at writing monologues which sucks cause he leans so heavily on them#the therapy speak needs work like my guy people dont talk like this#making rahul a cop????? seriously???? that whole situation is a PROBLEM#if it wasnt for making rahul say a battered woman joke bly manor would be my favorite#as it stands i prefer hill house cause its really just inspired by shirleys work and i get that#JUSTICE FOR HANNAH AND REBECCA#i hated geralds game and the midnight club and i tried to like doctor sleep but i really fucking hate stephen king yall#Youtube
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i loove the way you characterize the marauders! is there any chance i can request a drabble of protective! marauders when their s/o wears something very revealing to like a girls night out 🙈
Thanks for requesting lovely!
cw: alcohol, men (the ones who aren't our loverboys)
poly!marauders x fem!reader ♡ 843 words
Although he doesn’t think of himself as the confrontational type, Remus has no qualms at all with letting his stare bore relentlessly into the man standing against the wall. It takes a minute for the bloke to feel it, but when he looks away from you and catches Remus’ eye, he decides to ogle his drink instead.
“Fuck,” Sirius sighs, longing woven into the threads of his voice, “that skirt is right dangerous.”
James hums emphatically, both of their eyes glued to where you’re off dancing with your friends.
When you’d pulled it on earlier and your boyfriends’ tongues had just about fallen out of their mouths, you’d described it as a “low rise miniskirt.” Remus thought it might more accurately be called a “strip of fabric.” He’s fairly sure you own headbands that are thicker than what you’re wearing now. Pairing it with one of your little tops had all but ensured James wouldn’t be getting a full, intelligent sentence out all night, and you’d covertly asked Remus to take your boyfriends to the bar for a drink when Sirius wouldn’t unstick his hands from you long enough to let you actually dance.
“She’s alright,” Remus says, turning his stare on another man eye-fucking you from near them at the bar. “She knows how to take care of herself.”
(And you do, though he doubts you’d mind him offering you a bit of help.)
“I meant for me.” Sirius’ expression is theatrically pained. He looks like he couldn’t rip his eyes away from you if he tried. “Look, you both know I don’t like to get too steamy in public—” James snorts, and Remus coughs into his drink “—but if one of you doesn’t kiss me passionately within the next few minutes, I don’t think I’ll be able to stop myself from dragging all three of you straight home.”
“I thought Moony was supposed to be the one with the irresistible urges,” James jokes. Sirius doesn’t seem to hear the joke, but Remus accepts the quick cheek peck James offers him in recompense. “Hang on, I’ll snog you in a bit. Angel!”
He waves his hand until you look over, gesturing for you to come to the bar. If you’re disappointed to be taken away from your girlfriends you don’t show it, though Remus thinks you might be the sort of tipsy where you’re happy with just about everything regardless. You’re beaming as you make your way over to them.
“Hey, lovie,” James says. He kisses your cheek while his fingers find the hem of your skirt, giving it a firm tug so it covers more of your ass. Sirius watches its descent with torment in his eyes. “Do you want another drink?”
Your smile goes crooked. Remus thinks you’re trying to be sly, which is just fucking adorable. “You’re gonna get one for me?” you ask, batting your eyelashes at James.
James grins back at you just as contentedly. “If you want,” he agrees, grasping the fabric of your top to shimmy it up an inch. “Another dirty shirley?”
“Please.” You peck him on the lips.
While James turns to speak to the bartender, Sirius steals you away. He takes your hips in both hands, manhandling you closer until he can wrap his arms around your waist and drop his chin on your shoulder. You look happy to be manhandled.
“You don’t know what you’re doing to me,” Sirius laments, putting his lips to your skin so his voice is a mournful mumble. You bring up a hand to pet his hair, and the look you give Remus says that you do know, actually. “I think we ought to go home.”
You appear unsurprised at this request. You turn your head to reply, “I’m having fun, though. Aren’t you?”
“I was,” Sirius groans. “Let me come back out there with you, please? I promise to behave this time.”
You hum thoughtfully, sending Remus a playful look. “I don’t know. Do you think he can manage it?”
Remus suppresses a smile. Sirius does love to dance, but Remus knows he sees dancing with you as an opportunity to prove to onlookers that you’re taken as much as it is a chance to grope you himself. And with the mood his last few cocktails have put him in, Remus wouldn’t be surprised if “dancing” turned into a very public makeout session in record time.
“Doubtful,” Remus says, impervious to Sirius’ pout, “but why rob us all of the show.”
Sirius’ grin spreads like a sunrise.
“Alright,” you say as James hands you your drink. “Ready?”
Sirius agrees enthusiastically, and you start back towards the dance floor, shouting a quick “Thanks, Jamie!” over your shoulder as you lift your drink above the crowd.
“Think we ought to worry about her taking that out there?” James cranes his neck to keep track of you. “You know, uncovered and all?”
“No,” Remus says placidly as Sirius snaps at a bloke who happens to glance at your drink as it goes by. “He’s got her just fine.”
#poly!marauders#poly!marauders x reader#poly!marauders x fem!reader#poly!marauders x you#poly!marauders x y/n#poly!marauders x self insert#poly!marauders fanfiction#poly!marauders fanfic#poly!marauders fic#poly!marauders fluff#poly!marauders imagine#poly!marauders scenario#poly!marauders drabble#poly!marauders blurb#poly!marauders one shot#poly!marauders oneshot#james potter#james potter x reader#sirius black#sirius black x reader#remus lupin#remus lupin x reader#marauders#marauders fanfiction#marauders fandom#the marauders#hp marauders#marauders era#marauders x reader
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Why I fucking hate "The Handmaid's Tale" comparisons to real life (ie "this means THT is going to come true!!!")
that was not an elected government in the story. it was a fringe group that slaughtered the entire US government and took control by force. which makes little sense if you think about it, but that's because it doesn't matter HOW the dystopia happened; it just had to be there for the fiction to make a comment upon the author's present.
Dystopia is never a future prediction. see above: it's always a comment on the present in which it's written
That is massively fucking insulting to women who have actually lived with systemic oppression. They don't have to take away your name or your ability to read and write or put you in a color-coded costume. That's not what violent systemic misogyny looks like, because we KNOW what it looks like.
Sarah Emerson (1762-1784) could absolutely read. Based on what was expected of wealthy girls in her era, she probably spoke at least two languages- English and some French -as well as having knowledge of household accounting, basic first aid, history, literature, drawing, music, etc. She was still married to a man in his twenties when she was fourteen, because he wanted the inheritance her parents had left her (property she owned because, yes, women COULD own property back then). His family disapproved- they called her "the child bride" -but it still happened.
Women in the 19th century who couldn't vote, were discouraged strongly from public speaking (as in, speeches, not conversation), who sometimes had no control over that property they could in fact own, if they married, did normal things. They laughed and cried and petted cute animals. They spoke their minds. They wore what they wanted, albeit with societal constraints. They had names and voices and they still had so few rights under the law.
Women who died from backalley abortions as late as the 1960s could read and write. They had jobs. They dressed in ways we wouldn't consider remarkable today. They voted. They had access to the fucking pill, for gods' sakes. And yet that still happened to them. And yet they still died because the government didn't care about their lives as much as clumps of cells inside them.
Shirley Jackson (1916-1965) was a popular author with a rapier wit that she wasn't above using freely, living once again in a time we'd recognize many features of today. she married a Jewish man over the objections of...well, most of society back then, really. the nurse still wrote "housewife" for her career when she said "writer," during hospital admission to deliver her daughter Sarah
and that's all without getting into the double-damnations of women who aren't white, who aren't Christian, who aren't straight or cisgender. women in non-western countries where some of those things- like clothing laws or movement restrictions -have come to pass, but still not all and not in that way precisely
It doesn't have to be The Handmaid's Tale. In fact, it usually isn't, historically speaking. It's Call the Midwife. It's Harlots. It's Hidden Figures. it's Carol. It's astonishingly normal, among normal women living relatively normal- even happy lives, many of them.
Don't insult their memories by implying that it has to be speculative fiction to be real.
#long post#misogyny#systemic misogyny#abortion#and I even LIKE The Handmaid's Tale! I've been watching it a lot lately precisely because it's so fantastical that#it doesn't scare me#it's less realistic than something like (again) Call the Midwife which I have been avoiding like the plague
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TO ALL THE GIRLS I’VE LOVED BEFORE
paige bueckers x uconn student!reader
with caitlin clark, aubrey griffin, nika muhl, and emily engstler
───────── ⋆⋅🏀⋅⋆ ─────────
CHAPTER 3: Somebody Elses
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Playing: Somebody Else by The 1975
Y/n was greeted by the blue mood lighting accompanied by house songs as she steps inside the joint dorm of the UCONN Huskies. Everyone was either dancing or laughing around with their companions.
Y/n headed to the kitchen, looking for either Ice, KK, or Paige (and she hopes she does not see Paige first). Unfortunately for Y/n, the latter came to life. Paige saw Y/n and approached her, along with the Shirley Temple she had been drinking.
“Hey baby, I have been waiting for you, you didn’t seem okay after the game.” Paige held your hands, and brought you to a more quiet corner of the dorm. “No, I am okay, don’t worry Paige. We’re here to celebrate your win.” You gave her a weak encouraging smile, which the basketball player reciprocated.
After a quick small talk with the “couple,” Paige was approached by a group of friends, and to no surprise, Mia was part of that circle. They all seemed to have fun, creating jokes and sharing stories. A while after, Y/n excused herself.
Y/n felt suffocated, not being able to talk to Paige genuinely and alone. She wanted to spend more time with her.
As she was passing by all the people dancing and drinking, Y/n got stopped by none other than Ice and KK. “Woah woah woah, what’s wrong?” Ice asked, knowing how Y/n looks when she is not feeling the best. “Oh no I’m alright, just looking for Paige.” Y/n stated the white lie, actually wanting the opposite of what she said—staying away from Paige.
“Then we will look for her! Follow us Y/n.” KK grabbed Y/n’s arm on her right, while Ice’s arm on her left. “No no no no no no, it’s okay! I can do it myself.” Y/n panicked.
“Girl, we are already here, it’s okay. Let’s look for your girl.” KK said, starting to walk around dragging Ice and Y/n alone. Y/n just nervously chuckled as a response.
After about 15 minutes, they all still haven’t seen Paige. The trio was about to give up (thank heavens, Y/n thought.) “Where is your girlfriend, I swear we have been looking for her for a whole hour!” KK exaggerated, getting quite annoyed that they have not found their teammate yet.
The trio then headed to a more quiet corner, near the doors to the bedrooms. “You guys I swear, it’s okay that we don’t find Paige.” Y/n sighed, but Ice cut her off when she started to hear the voice of the person they were looking for.
“Mia, I don’t know what you want. You broke up with me for someone else then you come back running?” Paige was heard complaining from the other side of the door, her and Mia were talking inside Paige’s room.
“But why the hell are you with someone who hurted me?” Mia was heard shouting. “I didn’t even know you guys were friends! You are the one dating someone who I then cared about from another basketball team!” Paige said, having a fuming tone.
Ice and KK were both looking at Y/n, both with concern and surprise. “Damn, Mia is after your girl!” KK stated. “Hey what’s up Y/n? Are you and Paige okay? Why is she even talking to Mia?” Ice asked and held your arm.
“Guys it’s okay, I think we should go, it seems like a private conversation.” Y/n shrugged, just wanting to get out of the dorm. “It is not okay! That’s your girlfriend!” KK felt shocked that those words even came out of Y/n’s mouth.
Y/n felt defeated, she didn’t know what to do. She didn’t feel great even from the start, and it was all suffocating her. “Guys, can we go back to my dorm? I have to tell you guys something.” Y/n asked, which the two basketball players nodded to. The trio then left Paige and her somebody else alone.
-
When they headed back to Y/n’s dorm, the two players sat and waited for Y/n to speak. Y/n got everyone a cup of water, and started to explain what’s going on.
“Please do not get mad at me, but.. Paige and I’s relationship isn’t real. It’s all fake.” Y/n started. KK and Ice screamed. “WHAT? What do you mean?” The basketball players were surprised. The relationship felt too real.
“It was just a way for us to get something we want. It was never serious.” Y/n continued, “Paige wanted her ex back, and I wanted Emily to stay quite far.”
“Oh honey, I can’t believe you both made me believe so hard! I thought you guys were actually into each other.” KK stated. “True! The hugs, the nicknames, and all the small sweet gestures to each other? That can’t be not real.” Ice added, agreeing to what KK said.
“Well surprise! Felt too good to even be true.” Y/n chuckled. What Paige was showing to her was too good to be true.
“And unfortunately, something has eaten me up. The whole night actually since the game.” Y/n started getting the same feeling as to when she was thinking whether her feelings for Paige were real.
“I’m quite done with this relationship. Emily doesn’t really bother me, I mean she messaged quite a lot before, but it lessened recently. And to add.. I think I’m starting to fall for Paige, but she’s close to getting Mia back. I just want this agreement to be gone because my feelings will become unbearable everytime I see her.” Y/n started to cry.
“I’ve always felt something weird whenever I see Mia, however, acknowledging that I like Paige now, seeing Mia will hurt me at least a hundred times more.” Y/n further explained. Ice and KK hugged Y/n, rubbing their hands on Y/n’s shoulders.
“Oh gosh, Paige is messing you up.” Ice started, “We are so sorry Y/n.” KK followed. The basketball players then hugged Y/n, which brought all of them comfort.
“Y/n, what do you want to do about your situation?” KK asked after the three of you got out of the hug.
“To not make matters worse, I would have to stop the arrangement now.” Y/n said. “You are right. But before that, I don’t know anything about Emily, however, you should have closure with her first before cutting the arrangement off with Paige. She was the reason you said yes from the start.” Ice explained, which Y/n nodded to.
“Ice is right you know, since Paige is already talking to her ‘somebody else,’ maybe it’s time to clear up the air with your ‘somebody else’.” KK nodded at Ice.
Y/n is now to face Emily, her “somebody else” in her and Paige’s (fake) relationship.
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gf!Shauna Shipman HCs
Pairing: shauna shipman x fem!reader
Summary: To be Shauna's girlfriend is… Something else, to say at least.
Word count: 1,4k.
Content: 96’ timeline, cursing, suggestive, kissing, kinda toxic shauna, jealousy, fluff, the team being done with u two.
Note: I think that’s probably a little too long for headcanons but I’m really glad someone asked for it cause I love writing for Shauna sm.
English is not my first language.
- You most likely only spoke to each other because you were paired up on some project in a class that you both hate. A classic, but also one of the few ways for Shauna to actively approach anyone she hasn't known for years or been introduced to by Jackie, the girl isn't very sociable.
- She definitely found the most random and stupid reason possible to not like you at first, just because she enjoys being a little hater.
- Like she doesn't want to meet with you to discuss the topic and just leaves you to do your part alone and you just do it because this quiet girl on the football team is pretty hot and also scares the hell out of you.
- When you guys inevitably put it all together she'd take one look at it and say it's shit and make you do it all from scratch again in like one night as if it was your fault.
- And you simply wouldn't understand why she decided to pick on you. She’d have a beef with you that only exists in her head and you’ll be like??? Wondering why the heck she keeps staring at you like a judging hare even after getting (surprisingly) an A+.
(that’s a strangely accurate description, but you think it fits her perfectly well. Eyes widen following you and nose angrily twitching when you pass by.)
- She has a crush on you. Since the beginning. But she has too many problems to actually admit that to herself.
- She would finally admit that fell for you when she sees you reading something by an author she loves. She's a cliché and a failure, no matter how much she tries to deny it. You'd be in the stands during one of the Yellowjackets' practices (by pure chance, definitely not because you want to watch her too), with a notebook open at your side and a book on your lap, working on an assignment for extra credit, Shauna would see you when she stopped to have some water and she wouldn't be able to concentrate on anything else for the rest of the day.
Especially if it was something by Virginia Woolf, Emily Dickinson or Shirley Jackson. She’d go feral. Seriously.
- Then she finally decides to act (after some suspicious looks from Jackie and screams from Taissa for disturbing everyone during the game) and it's like she was never mean to you. She’ll literally act like she's already your friend because she doesn't know how to apologize and start something properly. Will sit next you in class – and kick out whoever actually sat there – and talk to you normally, looking away and chewing on the end of her pen, speaking in a soft and innocent voice.
- You're very much confused and a little suspicious about all this, but you're not gonna complain about it with her slowly running a hand up your arm and blinking her bright deep eyes at you. Even though she still stares. A lot.
- This is how you get a girlfriend, which isn't really what you expected at all, but it's a pretty welcome change.
- gf!Shauna who only asked you out and took you for a milkshake on your first date, even though she doesn't really like sweets, when she heard Nat tell Van that she was thinking about doing that exactly same thing and finally decided to do something (they did it on purpose, just so that Shauna would stop bothering them with her constant yearning).
- gf!Shauna who accompanies you to all your classes, sometimes even being late for hers. She is so show off carrying your backpack for you and walking close enough for your shoulders to brush and rushing to Jackie's side after opening the door for you.
- gf!Shauna who keeps a hand on you all the time, on your shoulder, on your waist, on your arm, but who is too shy to hold your hand and intertwine your fingers properly. She'll become a mess if you hold her hand in the hallways or in front of the team and pretend like she doesn't like it, complaining that you're being clingy (she won't let you let go of her hand at all though).
- gf!Shauna who is jealous and possessive as fuck, no one is safe from her, not even Jackie. She will shoot daggers with her eyes and scare anyone who even breathes near you in a way that makes her feel insecure. Especially if it's someone on the team. Lottie is usually a recurring target of her reactions, making a point of keeping as much distance as possible from Shauna on the field after she sees her talking to you.
- Will totally pretend not to care and say there's nothing wrong when you ask if she's alright, while silently seething with rage and acting weird towards you, keeping everything to herself until she eventually explodes. gf!Shauna who waits until she's alone to write shit about you and the other person in her diary with a horrible, rushed handwriting.
- gf!Shauna, with whom you have to be really patient.
- gf!Shauna with whom you have study dates where she actually makes you study because she won't admit being with someone with a poor average, but who will start kissing you pretty quick until she ends up straddling you the moment she gets tired and decides you both had enough.
- gf!Shauna who absolutely loves seeing you in the stands during practice or a game. She'll show off like never before as soon as she realizes you've come, especially if you yell or cheer for her when she scores a goal. Nat, Lottie and Tai are rolling eyes hard for you two every single time.
- gf!Shauna who takes you in her car wherever you want and whenever you want, driving with one hand on the steering and an elbow resting on the window. Who looks at you with her big eyes shining like a kicked puppy if you ever say you don't need a ride.
- gf!Shauna who has the worst, most questionable taste in movies ever and who gets outraged if you mention it or try to get her to change her choice on a movie night. She's too stubborn to change her mind, so you settle for admiring her profile and leaning back against her warm body on the couch.
- gf!Shauna with whom you have almost weekly sleepovers because her parents are too oblivious to realize there’s something between you. Sleeping in her bed under the pretext that the floor is too cold and keeping the door closed so as not to bother anyone with your teenage nonsense and loud music. It's the perfect combination.
- gf!Shauna who keeps her favorite polaroids of you on your dates alongside the photos of her and Jackie on her bedroom wall.
- gf!Shauna who's always the big spoon and loves feeling your body against hers. She's practically a furnace, perfect for hiding your face on her neck or chest. The best way to fall asleep is with her arms around you and your face buried in her soft skin.
- gf!Shauna who loves to bite and leave marks for every inch of exposed skin you have. Who bites your shoulder joint and digs her nails into your back when you have her pressed against the mattress or the lockers in the changing room.
- gf!Shauna who goes crazy when she sees you in her clothes, especially her button-down shirts and flannels. Sometimes even hides your clothes just to have the excuse to give you hers, because she doesn't know how to ask you to wear them.
- gf!Shauna who writes cheesy and lame love poems for you like a victorian poet, because she doesn't know how to express herself in words without being on impulse or in a fight. You always praise her and thank her a thousand times for them, without letting her know that you don't understand most of what she writes.
- gf!Shauna who demands you tell her you love her before she does it first. She literally asks for it. And then she only says it back weeks later, rushed and nervous, at the moment you least expect it.
#yellowjackets x reader#shauna shipman x reader#shauna shipman x you#yellowjackets x you#yellowjackets show#shauna yellowjackets#shauna shipman#shauna shipman imagine#yellowjackets#denwrites
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❝Jealous ❞
pairing Professor! Daryl Dixon x F! Student! Reader with a sprinkle of Professor Rick
summary After getting drunk with your friends, you wake up at Professor Dixon's place where you explore something new. Rick lets you despite the jealousy brewing inside him.
cw smut, voyeurism, unprotected p in v, jealousy but also cuckolding lowkey, teacher - student relations, power imbalance, age gap, creampie, blow jobs, mentions of underage drinking (Reader is 20, legal drinking age is 21), outdoor sex
2.7k words
series masterlist
"Ready yet?" Rosita asked.
"Gimme a sec," you replied. You were sat on the floor of your dorm room, doing your makeup in front of the floor-length mirror.
"I'm ready," Maggie said as she grabbed her purse.
Your two best friends, Maggie and Rosita, wanted to go to a bar to celebrate finishing mid terms. You were apprehensive at first, considering you weren't twenty-one quite yet, but they promised you'd still have a good time.
"Alright, let's go!"
Maggie came back to the table carrying everyone's drinks- a cosmopolitan for Rosita and a scotch and soda for her. The drink she slid in front of you was pink with cherries in it.
"Ooh, what's this?" you asked curiously.
"Shirley Temple," Maggie said, struggling to hold back a laugh. Rosita bursted into a contagious fit of giggles, Maggie joining in, but you stared at them with a flat face.
"What? S'not my fault you're not twenty-one yet," she told you once the two of them calmed down.
"Ha. Ha," you said sarcastically before taking a sip of the non-alcoholic beverage. It was delicious, which made you madder. You drank with them all the time outside of bars, but now of all times Maggie wanted to abide by the law?
"Thank god mid terms are over. We can finally rest," Maggie said, leaning back into her seat.
"Is it just me, or was Professor Grimes' midterm unnecessarily hard?" Rosita asked.
"I thought it was fine."
"Speak of the devil," Maggie said and you all turned to look where she was looking. Over at the counter stood Professor Grimes and Professor Dixon, looking delicious in casual clothing. You shrunk in your seat, willing Rick to not see you. You weren't doing anything wrong, but you didn't want him seeing you at a bar to shatter the good girl image you worked so hard to maintain. Thankfully, when the men got their beers, they sat elsewhere without noticing you. You let out a breath of relief you didn't even know you were holding.
"I'ma get me a real drink," you tell your friends as you stand up from the table.
"Told you she'd want a big girl drink," Rosita joked. Maggie laughed but you just rolled your eyes. You sauntered over to the bar and ordered yourself a long island iced tea. Miraculously, your fake ID fooled the bartender, that or she just didn't care. You made sure to keep an eye on Rick’s table, making sure neither of the men saw you.
“See, the fake ID did work!” You boasted upon returning to the table with your drink.
“I’m surprised Eugene even made that for you,” Rosita commented.
“I may have twisted the truth on why I needed it.” The three of you burst into a fit of laughter before going back to chatting about anything and everything.
“I’m gonna order us a round of shots,” Rosita said after a while.
After multiple rounds of shots- you lost count- the three of you were rather tipsy. Maggie and Rosita had to hold you up as you were too tipsy to walk straight. Neither of you were in a state to drive, so you had called a ride.
“Look, it’s Professor Grimes!” You said a little too loudly, obviously pointing at him. Your friends shushed you, covering your mouth with a hand, not wanting the attention of their professor. But it was too late, him and Professor Dixon were on their way over.
“Everything alright, ladies?” He asked. He looked so good in that black t-shirt and jeans and so did Professor Dixon. The cotton fabric could barely restrain his strong arms as they were crossed over his chest.
“Rick!” You squealed, wiggling yourself free from your friends’ arms and stumbling into his. He caught you and held a strong arm around your waist so you wouldn’t fall. The two women stared at the interaction strangely, but didn’t say anything.
“C’mon, we gotta get back to the dorms,” Maggie said, holding her hand out toward you.
“Nooo, wanna go with Rick,” you slurred, burying your face in his chest. Rick sighed.
“I got her, I’ll make sure she gets to her dorm safe,” he promised. The women gave some pushback, but between Rick’s insistence and your whining, they finally agreed to let you go with him. When they finally got picked up by the ride you called, Rick picked you up bridal style and carried you to his car with Daryl in tow.
"You fuckin' yer student?" Daryl asked before taking a drag of his cigarette. He and Rick were sat on his porch, having some beer and smoking together. You were inside, asleep on the couch in one of Daryl's t-shirts. You had fallen asleep in the car ride back to the dorms and neither man thought it’d look right to carry your sleeping form back to your room, so instead they took. You back to Daryl’s place. They couldn’t bring you back to Rick’s considering his wife and kid were there.
"Yeah. S'more than that, though. She's more than just a good fuck," he explained.
"Have her in one of my classes. She's such a tease." Although Rick laughed, he couldn't help but feel a twinge of jealousy. He didn't like the idea of you going around flirting with his colleagues like you do him.
"Yeah? How so?"
"Always wearin' those goddamn low cut tops and leanin' on my desk, or wearin' them tiny skirts with no panties on," he explained. Those little things you did were how you got Rick's attention in the first place. He wondered if he was the only one, or if you did this with all of your professors. The thought left a bad taste in his mouth.
"Never gave into it?" Rick asked, shocked. This time Daryl laughed.
"Ain' riskin' my job over no damn pussy!"
“Hey!” You chimed in, offended. The men’s head snapped toward you, just now realizing you were awake.
“You’re finally awake,” Rick commented. He, surprisingly, didn’t seem too happy to see you. Daryl’s face remained expressionless as he watched the two of you.
“Where am I? What’s going on?” You asked, now way more sober than before.
“You fell asleep in the car, so we took you to Daryl’s house. Got you changed into one of his spare shirts and let you sleep on his couch,” Rick explained cooly. You looked at Daryl and he just glanced up at you with a cigarette in his mouth. You were shocked he’d do something so nice for you, considering he didn’t even look your way, despite your advances.
“Ain't you gonna thank him?”
“Th-thank you, Dar- Professor Dixon,” you said, flustered. “Welcome,” he replied with a nod of his head.
“Take a seat,” Rick ordered, patting his lap. You hesitantly sat on his lap, not really wanting to under the curious gaze of Daryl. With one hand, he roughly grabbed your face, forcing you to look at him.
“You wanna tell me what you were doin’ at that bar, drunk?”
“Uhh…drinking?” His grip tightened, squeezing your cheeks causing your lips to puff out.
“Underage drinking?”
“M-my birthday’s in a few months, Rick, it’s no big-“
“If I were still a cop, I’d’ve thrown your ass in jail.” His tone was dark, almost scary even. Your eyes watered, tears threatening to spill over. You’ve never seen him like this before.
“Rick, why’re you bein’ so m-mean?” You whimpered. Rick understood the hypocrisy of his actions. Punishing you for having eyes for his colleague when he was a married man, using you as an escape from his commitment. It was wrong, but he couldn’t help the anger, the jealousy, he felt knowing he wasn’t the only one.
“Why don’ you ask Professor Dixon?” He turned your head to face him. Shame washed over you. You didn’t want him seeing you like this, a tearful pathetic mess sitting on the lap of your superior after clinging to him like a drunk mess earlier.
“Wha’s goin’ on? I’m c-confused?” You asked, finally letting your tears fall.
Daryl noticed the change in his best friend’s demeanor as soon as he told him about your behavior in his class. Now knowing that you were Rick’s, he’d never betray him like that. No matter how tempted he was by your innocent doe eyes always paying attention to him when he taught, or the way you teased him with the little outfits you wore, or how you’d frequent his office hours, pretending to need help just so you could have one on one time with him.
“Jus’ told him ‘bout your…interestin’ behavior in my class,” he innocently explained before finishing off his beer. He know how much trouble that’d get you in, but he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t interesting in how it’d play out.
You turned to face Rick, ready to deny Daryl’s claims and defend yourself, but the stern look he gave you caused the words to die on your tongue. He lifted you off his lap and pushed you toward the other man, causing you to stumble and clumsily fall in into his lap. He caught you, but kept you at a distance, afraid to touch you, because if he did, he doubted he’d be able to stop.
“If you wan’ him so bad, go on ahead and have him. That’s okay with you, right Daryl?” Rick grabbed another beer from the cooler and uncapped it with his teeth. You looked between the two of them, not even knowing what to think. Daryl, too, was looking at Rick apprehensively.
“Rick, wha’s goin’ on?” Daryl asked.
“Well she clearly wants you and I saw that way you’ve been lookin’ at her all night. So go on and have at each other,” he explained nonchalantly. You and Daryl exchanged a confused glance. Of course you wanted this to happen, obviously not in this way. Daryl did too. Having you in his lap in one of his shirts made his pants fit uncomfortably. You wanted to make a move, you really did, but what should've been a beautiful moment was awkward. Neither you nor Daryl knew if this was a test of some sorts to test either person's loyalty to Rick, or if he was really allowing this.
"It's okay, sweetheart, show Professor Dixon how grateful you are for him helpin' you out." He seemed less angry and held sincerity in his eyes. You relaxed a little, having Rick give you commands was comforting. You slid off Daryl's lap and kneeled in between his legs, looking up at him through your lashes. You undid he belt and unzipped his pants, pulling them down a little after he lifted his hips to let you do so. You glanced over at Rick as you pulled Daryl's hard cock from his boxers. Rick just watched with a blank face and beer bottle in hand. Daryl's warm hand cupped you cheek, earning your full attention.
"Don' look at Rick, look at me," he commanded softly. Butterflies erupted in your tummy seeing this side of the usually reserved professor.
"Yes, sir." You licked him from base to tip along the vein on the underside of his cock a few times before taking him all the way into your mouth. He wasn't as girthy as Rick, but he exceeded him in length, making it hard to take all of him in your throat, but that didn't stop you from trying. You gagged when his tip hit the back of your throat, making your eyes water.
"S'alright, girl, keep goin'," he coaxed. Warmth erupted throughout your body and you became hellbent on pleasuring the gorgeous man before you. You bobbed your head up and down on his dick, earning soft grunts from him here and there, but that wasn't enough, you wanted to have him panting and moaning. You held onto his strong thighs as you took him all the way, this time not gagging. Breathing through your nose, you increased your pace, earning some moans. His hand found the back of your head and held it down as he thrusted up into you, fucking your throat, your nose buried in his brown curls. His moans were music to your ears and made your pussy clench on nothing. You ground your clit against your heel, getting yourself off a bit as Daryl brought himself closer to his climax with your throat.
"Cum down her throat, she likes that," Rick chimed in. Daryl's pace increased until he finally flooded your mouth with his release. You swallowed every drop after he pulled out. With his thumb, he put the cum that spilled out of your mouth back in. You gladly accepted, sucking his thumb for good measure.
"Good girl," he praised. Your cheeks warmed at his praise. You wanted to hear more. You wanted to hear him praise you as he was buried deep in your cunt, pounding into you ready to fill you with his seed.
"Need you," you begged, staring up at him with pleading eyes. He glanced at his friend as if to ask for permission, but all he did was shrug dismissively, like he didn't even care. He didn't want to push the other man's boundaries, but he felt he owed it to himself for all the times he's pushed you away for fear of losing his job. And he felt himself getting hard again. He stood and pulled you up with him before turning you around.
"Bend over," he ordered and you did, holding onto the porch's railing. He lifted his t-shirt you wore, revealing the little red thong you had on. He was beating himself up internally for turning you down for so long. He was tempted to just shove his face between your thighs and lick the arousal coating them and taste every bit of you. He yanked the thong down, letting it fall to your ankles. He stroked himself a few timed before lining his cock up with your sopping pussy. You were so wet, he slid inside with ease. His mouth fell open and his eyes rolled back. You squeezed him perfectly, your warm, plush walls welcoming him home. His hands gripped your hips almost to the point of leaving a bruise, but it all felt too good. He pulled all the way out before slamming back in earning wanton moan from you. He continued thrusting into you, his composure slipping with each thrust. His hands slid up the shirt feeling your body until he got to your breasts. He groped them as he fucked you.
"You're fucking me so good, Daryl," you moaned as your felt the coil in your tummy tightening, a signal of your impending orgasm. Your legs shook as you gripped the railing even tighter.
" 'M close," he grunted, his thrusts losing rhythm as he came close to his second orgasm. Your entire body was on fire, Daryl's hands on you felt new and exciting, every touch of his made your spine tingle. Every ending of your nerves was on fire as you came around his cock, squeezing him for everything he had left.
"This pussy was made fer ma cock," he grunted. He came undone, painting your walls white with his seed. He continued to fuck you through both his and your orgasm. He pulled his now soft cock out of you, watching his cum slowly leak out of your swollen pussy and drip down your thighs. Daryl put himself back together before sitting back down and helping himself to another beer. After catching your breath, you turned to look at Rick, but be was already looking at you. You expected him to be upset that you were physically unable to resist fucking his colleague, his best friend, but instead his pupils were dilated and there was a prominent bulge in his pants. Watching his best friend fuck you definitely did something to him.
"You get that outta your system?" he asked. He was still a little snappy, but you were grateful he wasn't as angry as before.
"Yes, sir," you replied meekly.
"Good. That should hold you over while I'm punishin' you."
i have not once set foot in a bar, hopefully that wasnt obvious in my writing lmao. perhaps you noticed this wasn't proofread :p
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Vampire!Darlin x Freelancer!Sam fic
It's short, nothing angsty, simple, bad.
Maybe I'll make another but it's a very strong maybe because I'm terribly inconsistent.
“Damnit… where the hell- god fucking, I got too many keys…”
He had flipped Through three key holders trying to find his apartment Keys, fiddling and putting them into the keyhole before finding the one that actually Unlocked his apartment. He walked in with an aggravated sigh of relief before collapsing on his couch.
He should get up and take a shower… or make some dinner and actually eat something of sustenance… or sleep on his actual bed… but he didn't… he just laid there… sweaty…exhausted… tired… overworked… and the next thing he knew he was asleep…
…
Poke.
…
Poke poke.
…
Pokepokepokepoke-
He groggily woke up with a tired, irritated groan, eyes fluttering open to see who the hell was poking him. Repeatedly.
“Fuckin’ finally, you were boring me to death with how unconscious you were.”
He opened his eyes to see a face that meant trouble. A pretty face, but still a face that meant trouble.
“Darlin, I was doing this thing called ‘Taking a nap’ y'know … a thing… humans do… to not fuckin’ die?”
“Yeah, well, you've slept long enough, keep me company.”
Oh lord if he wasn't head over heels for this bastard vampire he'd kick them out and sleep forever.
“Can I just get like… a one hour nap, or somethin’? Just like a resting period before I become your own personal jester?”
They thought for a good moment before speaking up in a curt tone. “Thirty minutes.”
“Are you- y'know what I'll take what I can get… even if this is my own damn house and I can do whatever the hell I want-”
It only took a few seconds for Darlin to get sick of his grumpy old man rant and pick him up like a damn bride, causing him to cling to them like a stunned cat.
“First of all it's an apartment not a house, Secondly, you act like you have the physical strength to Kick me out.”
“If you don't put me down right now!”
They didn't.
They carried him all the way to his (their) bedroom, practically threw him onto the bed as he let out an ‘Oof!’ and crawled on top of him and laid down. Letting him be squished under the weight of them, nuzzling their face into the crook of his neck. And all Sam could do was sigh.
“Darlin.”
“Mm?”
“You're squishing me.”
“I know.”
“You're heavy.”
“Am I supposed to care?”
He expected that response.
His darlin was stubborn as they were gorgeous.
“Can I atleast get a kiss?”
“Now you're speaking my language.”
They pulled away after a few seconds, (not long enough in Sam's eyes) looked at him with a smug look, still holding his face with such love and care before speaking in the most teasing, asshole tone. “Once your thirty minutes of peace is up, your ass is mine.”
They pulled away, cupped his face as gently as possible which always somewhat surprised him, their hands were still calloused from when they were human, hands so strong they could destroy boulders, and yet they were cradling his face like he was the most precious collection of atoms on earth. They leaned in and he could taste the shirley temple-flavored chapstick on their lips. They kissed gently too…
And once again. Sam could only sigh.
He appreciated their small amount of mercy but he also knew whatever they were going to rope him in was going to be tiresome and horrifying. He could only hope and pray. But they were his darlin… so he'll endure it.
_____
#redacted asmr#redacted audio#redacted sam#redacted darlin#sam x darlin#in my eyes he's a healer for the shaw pack because Marie definitely needs help healing those mfs and darlins parents never joined the pack
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Smear Frame (1992)
The night I got home from the hospital, we had peas and squash and good chicken. Nobody spoke. The radio spoke for us; vitamin deficiencies, lights spotted across Vegas, another building demolition. The first couple of days, I stayed in my room throwing a ball against the wall, doing long division in my head. The television playing a documentary about squid brains. On the third night, mama asked what I was planning to do.
You can be a thing in the world, she told me.
We were in the kitchen, the evening light staining the windows above the sink.
You do have a choice, she continued. But you choose to suffer like an idiot. Even the rabbit knows better than to follow the wolf.
Learn something, Jane.
And she left the room. I held her words in the belly of my chest, going over them again and again. That night, I got dressed in my trench coat and went out to the middle of town. The lights were buoyant and fresh, amazing slashes, amazing range. The moon was pinned against the skies like a cop’s badge. I stepped into Lousy’s which was a bar I had been to before. I liked it because it was dark and cold. I often pretended I was in a cave or in some sort of comet, minutes away from approaching the quiet tendrils of earth.
I ordered a Shirley temple and sat at the bar watching the bartender spin and shake and serve drinks.
What’s the drink with the longest name? I asked.
A terrible, unearthed bitter and lame dirt tonic, he said.
I mused on this for a while and eventually someone spoke to me. An older woman wearing red and large earrings asked me what time it was. I shrugged.
Maybe sometime around midnight, I said.
Don’t you have a watch? She asked. What kinda man doesn’t have a watch?
The question of my masculinity continues to come under fire, I laughed.
So, what’s your problem? She asked. Why are you here at maybe sometime around midnight?
I got out of the loony bin last weekend, I said. I’m trying to map out the world again.
How long were you in there for?
Six weeks, I said.
Do they zap your brain? She asked. I had a cousin like that, always in and out of those places.
How is he doing? I asked.
On the side of the road, she said. Begging for cash, not hiding the bad time he’s having.
That’s admirable. But no, they didn’t zap my brain.
Did they strangle you with Valium?
I was never sedated, I said.
Who put you there?
My parents, I said, I was seeing the holes in the plot, could see the failing strings in the fabric of the universe, the whole picture. I stoped eating, stopped sleeping. All I did was play chess with spirits and paint my nails over and over again. I showed the woman my hands. See? They’re clean.
The woman was quiet, sipped on her drink. I continued.
It was sorta nice, I admitted, not speaking to anyone but sounding out the idea.
Being taken care of like an infant who can’t speak. You get medication in the morning and you moan about the news. Someone starts screaming. Someone stops screaming. You go into a dreamless, milky sleep. And your roommate mumbles in his sleep, sweet robotic poems. And you don’t have a pencil so you commit them to memory; a fog roars, abstain, chapel, chapel, chapel. And you disappear from the world. Headlines float around every day and you wander around the unit making funny faces to entertain yourself and someone calls you and they ask how you are and you tell them you can’t wait to go home. And then you get home and the world is indifferent.
Cheers, the woman said.
And we clinked our glasses. Around three, the woman stood up and gave me her number and shook my hand and left. I kept the slip of paper in my coat pocket. I went out to walk by the river-end, watching the rising of the waters, the night reflected on the surface, dark rivulets. A sort of vile peace.
A couple of months afterward, I found work at a fish market. Slicing trout in half and packaging swordfish into white papers. The work was mindless, bleeding work. Nobody spoke to me. I smoked cigarettes. When I got home, the house smelled of blood.
A while later on, I called the woman. I was on my way home from work. I had not spoken to another human being in ten hours. I had forgotten what my voice sounded like. I could see myself getting slower by the minute. Words died in my head like vermin. The woman answered within four rings. I explained who I was. The boy in the trench coat. It was nighttime and we spoke for a while. You were drinking a tall martini and every so often would dive into your purse to fix your lipstick.
You sound different, she said.
I feel different, I said. I feel like an aspirin. I feel like a headache that won’t resolve.
Where are you? She asked.
By the river, I said. I like seeing the water enunciate. Where are you?
She told me she was making tea for her husband.
He’s not feeling well, she said. I’m doing what people say to do; ginger and saltines and warm baths. But he’s persistent with his pain.
Some people are, I said.
The clouds are fragrant tonight, I continued.
It’s getting late. I can see my mother checking the time, fidgeting in the kitchen then checking again. It’s something I relish. Getting home late. The worry she must feel. The worst things happen in your brain. Perhaps I fell down a flight of stairs. Perhaps I cut my hand open on a knife and I’m in the hospital bleeding out beneath the fluorescent lights. She has a feeling but doesn’t want to endorse the feeling in case it becomes a truth. And when I arrive at last, the feeling subsides and instead is replaced with a mute disappointment. I am the one she loves but not the one she missed.
I began to call the woman—whose name I never bothered to ask for, I wanted to name her myself—often. When I was on my lunch break barely eating a tuna sandwich. When I was smoking cigarettes. When I was in my room reading the newspaper and playing with myself. When I was half asleep.
Once, I was naked in bed with the radio on, and there was a sullen exasperation in my stomach. I felt as though I knew when I was going to die and if I focused long enough the date would come to me, would emerge from the foggy brain matter and I would be freed. I had been thinking of death for weeks. Death was my babe, my habit. I had visions of my own death. Dying struck by a moving car and being stuck in the tire. An aneurysm so I’m alive one moment and exploding the next. Being stunned by a bullet and feeling my cells gasp in unison.
Death is an orgasm, I told the woman one night. Death is a great, wondrous love. You go into the light. You feel peace for the first time in your pathetic silly little life.
You sound twisted, the woman said. Death is what you avoid, everything you do, you do to put death out. Your bravado is not going to protect you from what will happen or what has happened.
That winter I was sleepless. I slept for thirty minutes at a time, watched the sunrise slur into my windows, made tea for my parents and gutted samurai fish and wrapped tuna and walked around town, dreaming of poisonous gas. Sometimes, I choked on my visions.
One afternoon, I felt a pop in the back of my head and walked out of work during my lunch break. And walked straight home. When my mother saw me, she placed me on the couch and pointed a flashlight in my eyes and placed a cold towel on my forehead. I mumbled for the angels.
I had been in the hospital for two weeks when I called the woman, I had been blotted out and cast into a week of sleep. I was feeling alright.
What kind of dreams have you been having? The woman asked,
I don’t dream, I told her. I stumble in and out of sleep like a newly born calf. I feel like I’m full of milk, a white calmness in my arteries, a saline stillness.
Come see me, I said. Come see my blue scrubs and bandaged fingers and dirty acne and limp, sedated gait.
I will, she said.
It was New Year’s Eve when she came. The nurses had hung up garlands and the television played the ball drop in New York City; that mirage a thousand light years away.
We were given virgin champagne and the nurses counted down with us and the woman was there, her hand on my back.
Focus on living one breath at a time, she said. Count the breaths until you forget you’re even counting.
The year turned over onto her stomach. That night, I laid down and recounted the poem again.
Chapel. Chapel. Chapel.
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In 1972, in the Democratic primary, we had our first Black woman presidential candidate, “unbought and unbossed” Shirley Chisolm, who knew that she was only running a symbolic campaign, a protest campaign, that America was not going to elect a non-white person or a non-male person, let alone someone with the temerity to be both at the same time—of course she didn’t get the nomination. When she ran, Barack Obama was going on eleven. Kamala Harris turned eight later that year. I doubt anyone was telling them they could grow up to be president.
I was so moved by how Kamala Devi Harris was received when she became our presidential candidate in July of 2024, 52 years after Shirley Chisolm, how much more enthusiasm and respect and how much less racism and sexism than I anticipated from Democrats and progressives. It made me feel like I lived in a better country, a country that had somehow invisibly, incrementally, moved forward, in those ways too slow and subtle to measure until a milestone like this is reached. Somehow something as subtle as values, consciousness, norms had changed through the work so many people were doing in so many ways, the feminists and antiracists, the slow process of decentralizing power just a bit from the long grim era when only white men ran and won and governed.
Things are changing. Last week, President Biden went to the Gila Reservation in Arizona to apologize for the Indian boarding schools and other genocidal acts toward Native Americans. He said in a tweet:
Today, I’m in Arizona to issue a long overdue presidential apology for this era—and speak to how my Administration has worked to invest in Indian Country and our relationships with Tribal Nations, advance Tribal sovereignty and self-determination, respect Native cultures, and protect Indigenous sacred sites. We must remember our full history, even when it’s painful. That’s what great nations do. And we are a great nation.
A few decades ago, Native people were largely ignored by the non-native mainstream, and what the US government had done was justified when it was not just ignored. We live in the impossible world, the world that no one quite imagined, in which things happen—marriage equality, the possibilities brought by solar energy, a Black woman presidential candidate—that were inconceivable not long ago.
I think of all the land-back happening around the West, of the four dams coming down on the Klamath River under the stewardship of the several Native nations there, of the salmon already swimming more than a hundred miles up that river to Oregon after more than a century of being shut out, of this presidential apology that acknowledges 532 years of colonialism. Biden’s tweet strategically rebukes Trump and MAGA and all the fragile white nationalists by insisting that this country is already great, and that greatness means remembering and taking responsibility for the wrongs of the past, including this genocidal racism.
That this country is polarized is often deplored, but the backlash against the progress on human rights, equality, inclusion, environmental protection, and acknowledging the US’s often-brutal history, is no reason to give up or cave in on that progress, though it’s a reason to reach out to try to convey that we all benefit from it.
What’s also been moving to me since this election really picked up momentum a few months ago is to see how much people care about something beyond narrow and immediate self-interest, to see that we care about public life, about the fate of the nation, about the rule of law, about the survival of the most vulnerable. To see that we are idealists, we are dreamers, we are citizens in that sense not of nationality but of membership in the greater community. Something striking this time around is to see men speak up for reproductive rights to a degree and in a way they mostly have not before.
We love so much more than the narrow version of who we are acknowledges: we love justice, love truth, love freedom, love equality, love the confidence that comes with secure human rights.
So many powerful forces conspire to try to convince us that we are basically selfish animals, that all we want is the the goods of private life, some safety, some sex and personal love and family, some nifty possessions. That’s the story of human nature we get told the most. But in fact most human beings are altruists and idealists, which is to say we want a lot more, we care about a lot more, we need a lot more to feel right with the world. We want justice and peace, want to live in a society that supports these things, want a relationship with nature, and we want that nature to be protected and thriving.
We want a world that reflects our values, we feel injured by things that may not affect us directly, whether it’s a wildfire or a loss of rights. Of course they’re not all the same values, and yeah some people believe they need to persecute immigrants or trans youth to have their happy world, some people still think nature is so vast and immutable we can keep trashing it without consequences. But mainly what I’m trying to say is that most people care about a lot beyond the usual definition of self-interest. We’re bigger than that.
You can see that by how much people care about the outcome of this election, whether they’re sitting home refreshing polls as if the polls tell us what will happen or doing the work that decides what will happen. Someone said to me a week or so ago that people over 70 shouldn’t be allowed to vote because they had no self-interest in the future. I rebuked him, because across the political spectrum most of us vote our broad values, not our narrow self-interest, unless our values are that we’re just our self-interest (and that’s a core belief of the right).
Most of us are idealists. There’s been a lot of exclamation in recent years about right-wing working-class voters who vote against their self-interest, often portrayed as baffling, as a sign of ignorance or confusion. What’s really going on that they’re more committed to their values than their practical self-interest. So are we (though you could also argue that the recognition that we are inextricably connected to each other and to nature means that self-interest and the well-being of the whole are not separate).
I used the word care, but let me clarify: what we care about is what we love. And we love so much more than the narrow version of who we are acknowledges: we love justice, love truth, love freedom, love equality, love the confidence that comes with secure human rights; we love places, love rivers and valleys and forests, love seasons and the pattern and order they imply, love wildlife from hummingbirds to great blue herons, butterflies to bears. This always was a love story.
Part of what gives our lives meaning is the confidence or at least hope that these good things will persevere beyond us.
What I learned from studying how most human beings respond to disasters (for my book A Paradise Built in Hell) is that they’re brave, generous, creative, acting in solidarity with those around them, and that those experiences of immediacy, of community, of care, of connection and meaningful work, are often so profound that people speak up with joy even amidst the devastation and loss. Because we want meaning and meaningful work so much, we want connection so much, we want hope, we want to believe in ourselves and the people around us and humanity in general.
I’m hearing so many stories like that from the survivors of the climate-intensified hurricanes that trashed western North Carolina, coastal Florida, and other parts of the Southeastern USA. From the victims of a climate-intensified catastrophe that has wrecked whole towns and torn out roads, flattened forests, washed away homes and put parts of Asheville underwater. I don’t want any more disasters like that, and I’m a climate activist to try to keep nature from getting more violent and destructive, which it will if we keep being violent and destructive toward the climate. But I do want us to know who we are, and how hungry we are for meaning, purpose, and connection, and sometimes disaster lets us see that.
When it comes to the climate we want faith in the future, we want the symphony of life to continue with the harmonies, the beauties, the integration of the parts into one harmonious whole to continue. Part of what gives our lives meaning is the confidence or at least hope that these good things will persevere beyond us, that there will be bison grazing the prairies in the year 2124, that there will be whales migrating in the oceans, that wildflowers will bloom in spring and pollinators will come for the nectar and leave with the pollen, that the people we love who are one or six or seventeen or their grandchildren will have a chance to enjoy some of the things we have, that there will be joy and beauty and possibility in the year 2074 and after.
Polls offer the false promise of knowing what is going to happen, but what is going to happen in this election is what campaigners, activists, and the electorate make happen. It is not yet decided. We are deciding it with what we do, as voters, as organizers, as voices for truth, justice, inclusion, the reality of the climate crisis and the importance of acting on it. In June, I got to meet one of my heroes, Congressman Jamie Raskin when he gave a keynote for the Third Act chapters in DC, Virginia and Maryland. (Third Act is a climate group founded by Bill McKibben for US people over 60; I’m on its board.) He gave me his memoir of prosecuting the impeachment of Trump after January 6, right after his beloved son Tommy had died by suicide, and there’s a dazzling passage in it that reminds us of the power of participation.
He writes that, during his first campaign, there was an article in a local newspaper quoting a pundit who described my chances of victory as “impossible”; and nine months later, when we got 67 percent of the vote, there was another article, in the Washington Post, quoting a pundit who said my victory was “inevitable.” So we went from impossible to inevitable in nine months because the pundits are never wrong, but as I told Tommy, we showed that nothing in politics is impossible, and nothing in politics is inevitable. It is all just possible, through the democratic arts of education, organizing, and mobilizing for change.
We’re here to make the victory of democracy and the defeat of authoritarianism not just possible but actual. We’re here to make history. We’re here to get out the vote. For the climate, for the children, for the continuance of this experiment in democracy, imperfect as it has been.
_____________________________
This is a version of a talk given to Third Act Nevada as part of a rally for people getting out the vote in that swing state.
Rebecca Solnit
Writer, historian, and activist Rebecca Solnit is the author of twenty-five books on feminism, environmental and urban history, popular power, social change and insurrection, wandering and walking, hope and catastrophe. She co-edited the 2023 anthology Not Too Late: Changing the Climate Story from Despair to Possibility. Her other books include Orwell’s Roses; Recollections of My Nonexistence; Hope in the Dark; Men Explain Things to Me; A Paradise Built in Hell: The Extraordinary Communities that Arise in Disaster; and A Field Guide to Getting Lost. A product of the California public education system from kindergarten to graduate school, she writes regularly for the Guardian, serves on the board of the climate group Oil Change International, and in 2022 launched the climate project Not Too Late (nottoolateclimate.com).
#Rebecca Solnit#not too late#lithub#election 2024#women#women's rights#human rights#environmentalism#activism#Shirley Chisolm#women's history#vote
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Feel free not to answer this question as it's more a research-type question, I'm just not sure how to go about finding what I need: do you happen to know any fiction books with portrayals of medium to high support autistic people that are considered realistic and positive? All I can find is rep of low support autistic ppl (unless it's in semi-educational children's books) and it's making it harder to figure out how to write medium to high support autistic ppl myself.
Hello!
When I was diagnosed, it was before the levels were used (Or at least before they were used where I lived). I suspect that I would be considered 'level one autistic' today but would likely have been 'level two', bridging into 'level three' as a child. This is all just to explain my perspective with this.
That being said, here are some of my recommendations:
A Step Toward Falling by Cammie McGovern
I just finished this book earlier today and while it isn't specifically about autistic characters, it does feature several autistic characters with high support needs as well as other disabled characters. The book is written from the perspective of two characters, one of which is developmentally disabled (Belinda). Although her disability is never specified, I do see a lot of autistic traits in Belinda. The premise of this book is a bit heavy. It's about two characters (Who are not disabled) who end up volunteering at a centre for adults with developmental disabilities. One of the things I appreciated about this book was how well rounded the characters are. Each of them has their own stories, interests, and ideas. I also like how it discussed sex and relationships in the context of people with developmental disabilities. Something to note is that this does have some sensitive topics such as ableism, sexual assault, and bullying. It is also written by a parent of an autistic child but, as far as I'm aware, the author herself is abled. I did have some conflicted feelings about specific parts of it but I'll leave that for you to make your own decisions about. Target Audience: Young Adult
How to Speak Dolphin by Ginny Rorby
I also read this book recently and I personally really disliked it. There were several scenes that made me feel very gross and I found that the autistic character was dehumanized very often. One line that stuck with me was another character about a blind character, essentially saying, "I thought she was going to drown herself. If I was blind, that's what I would do." Although the character does get to know the blind character and changes her mind, it really felt awful to read and seemed so unnecessary -- especially given the target audience. The way it talks about blindness in general bugs me. That being said, I have seen several autistic people recommending the book (Which was why I read it in the first place) so I'll include it here anyways since my opinion seems to be in the minority around this book. Target Audience: Elementary/Middle Schoolers This is a brief review from another autistic person. [Link]
Planet Earth is Blue by Nicole Panteleakos
This book centers around Nova, a young autistic girl with high support needs. Nova is a foster child who is missing her older sister and the story is told through a mix of narrative, letters to Nova's sister, and flashbacks. It's been a while since I've read this book but I remember really enjoying it (And maybe crying a little bit too). The author is autistic herself and also consulted many other autistic people with a variety of experiences, which I appreciated. Target Audience: Middle Schoolers This is a more in-depth review on the book from a reader who (I believe) is also autistic. [Link]
These are also a couple books that I've seen recommended but can't personally recommend as I haven't read them myself yet:
Real by Carol Cujec
Remember Dippy by Shirley Reva Vernick
I know it's not very much but hopefully it's enough to get you started! If anyone has any recommendations for anon, feel free to mention them in the notes.
Cheers,
~ Mod Icarus
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heres my human classic freddy band
I just made them this week, so I don't have much but... Heres some ideas I have for this band:
The Freddy crew is a concept/brand made by Willy & Henry, so the performers for each restaurant is different. But these are the most popular ones, because they were from the first diner that opened.
Henry, just like his home life, is kinda neglectful on the business. That means William is more on the management of everything. But when Willy isn't checking on things, then Freddy's actor is in charge.
The performer that plays Freddy seems like a very scary guy by looks (like a mob boss) but he cares ALOT. About the kids, the business and his band members. He's the ONLY one willing to talk up to William. He keeps the band's spirit up and put that bad Foxy in his place when he's going too far with his bully. In return, Foxy reminds him that the reason his top hat is so big is that he's insecure of how short he is. Freddy's actor name is George, and he is 55 y/o
The performer that plays Bonnie is a woman. She doesn't talk, to not break the emersion of Bonnie the Bunny being a guy, but that and the name combine leads kids to this day to think Bonnie was the first character to get a female variant. Bonnie's actor name is Janice, and she is 27 y/o. Her quiet act also converts to an everyday thing, which lets her find out about any work drama. A lot of the time, Janice tries and get mentoring from Willy to be the best Bonnie she could be; It doesn't really work. But as long as Bonnie is this his goofy self like the old fredbear show days, she'll be just fine.
The performer that plays Chica name is Shirley, and she is 34 y/o. She's a damn great back up singer and is good with a tambourine and trumpet. Shirley would love to be on stage more if Willy wasn't rushing her to get back to the kitchen to make the next batch of pizza. Because of the last cook quitting in short notice and the business being low on cash from fighting some recent lawsuits, Shirley, once the head chef, is now the ONLY chef. She has a pet dog, because of her work hours she decided to keep her dog in the back where storage is. One day her dog escaped to the front but was stuck in a little cupcake prop, after that incident, Henry heard of it. Though, it was so funny and interesting that he made her dog apart from the performance.
The performer that plays Foxy is an angry, functional drunk SCOT man. His name if Francis, he's 41 y/o and he'll talk to anyone the way he wants to because to him, he only speaks the truth. Foxy and Bonnie hate each others ... but the actors are cool with each other tho (as long they don't say something offhand that's not on script). He's a snuggling actor who FINALLY got his big break at this diner. He friends with the rats in the back of storage which helps Shirley alot.
^ my friend helped me on the foxy one cuz i had nothin on him.
Not a human au exclusive but the band plays songs like Big Bad Voodoo Daddy, the good swing jazz.
#five nights at freddy's#fnaf#fnaf 1#fnaf fanart#fnaf au#fnaf gijinka#fnaf human au#fnaf humanized#humanized au#fnaf freddy#fnaf chica#fnaf foxy#fnaf bonnie
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𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐒𝐭𝐮𝐝𝐢𝐞𝐬
↳ summary: in between their friends voicemails, and a spanish teachers punishment, troy and abed are struggling to tell you something important. or; a reader insert of season one episode sixteen
↳ warnings: period accurate jokes, internalized homophobia, jeff being weird, and alcohol
↳ notes: abed and troy are in a relationship change my mind
↳ song: me and your mama—childish gambino
masterlist | commisions | carrd
It was early morning, just before first period Spanish, when you finally decided to say something.
“Okay, so I can’t be the only one creeped out by that thing, right?”
You looked around with a sense of judgement as six pairs of eyes immediately whipped around to meet your own. Taking a moment to observe the flower in Annie's hand, and the box of chocolates in Shirley's, you stopped biting at the end of your pen momentarily to gesture at said thing; which just so happened to be your school's mascot.
It was Valentine's day at Greendale community college. Something that, in between your day to day classes and usual group shenanigans, you had forgotten about. If the seven couples french kissing hadn’t reminded you of that enough on your way to the library, the pair of heart shaped boxers draped over the statue outside did.
You had sat down at the study group as usual, expecting Britta’s rant about the patriarchal undertones of the holiday and a well timed meta quip from Abed, but instead all you got was a pair of artificially painted eyes staring at you.
The mascot in question turned to you and made what sounded like an offended gasp as it stopped wheeling its little cart full of gifts. Cards covered in pink hearts and lacey trim overflowed from it, all attached with tacky glue, and you got a good look at one of them as it was sent flying near your forehead.
“Jeez! Sorry, man! I didn’t know this job meant that much to you!” You swiftly ducked under the table to avoid the line of fire. Coming up once the sound of squeaky wheels on carpet faded away, you ended up glowering as Troy laughed at you.
“Shut up, Barnes. Abed got more muffins than you.” You glared, referencing the lack of valentines gifts he'd been given. Troy was quick to choke on his laughter after that. He straightened his posture consciously, only stealing a look or two at the goodie basket placed neatly in front of Abed.
“Great dodge.” The amateur filmmaker praised you in his usual quick pace as you picked up the card from the floor. “If you had been in the Matrix, and that card was a bullet, that would have been the second coolest scene in the movie. Next to the other part where Neo also evades bullets.”
“Neo’s? I have a few friends that are those.”
“Ignoring Pierce's questionable life choices and their daily allotted hazing— ” Jeff sighed from his usual spot next to you, “— I have more important things to discuss. And speaking of which!”
Jeff slouched further into his chair as the door to the study room opened once more. You all watched as an extremely hungover Britta stumbled in, a pair of reflective aviators resting on the brim of her nose.
“Sorry I’m late.” She grumbled. Going to sit down she nearly fell out of the chair, and all of you exchanged various looks. If the way Jeff was smirking at Britta said anything, there was some new weird sexually charged adventure to be had between the two, and you were not ready to be in another one of those. You had done your time last week, and you weren't eager to repeat it.
"Actually, you're very late, Britta. See you later!" You slammed your Spanish textbook down on the table with an overly cheesy smile to punctuate the end of your sentence. Britta jumped at the loud noise, hissing at you to shut up, but you were already walking out of the room by then. If the shuffling behind you told you anything, it was that the rest of the group had done the same. Sans Britta and Jeff, per usual.
You tilted your body sideways as you navigated through the busy hall full of various highschool dropouts and divorced parents, letting the sound of tennis shoes squeaking against the floors bounce around in your head. It was more annoying than usual today, and it took you a second to realize that it wasn't the shoes making the noise, but rather Troy as he called after you.
“Hey! Hey! Wait up!" He wheezed. "You are very fast when you want to be!” The athlete gasped for breath when you finally slowed down. Coming to a stop as you turned around to face him, you saw another pair of legs enter your line of sight. This time much thinner, and accompanied with a wicker basket full of various baked goodies.
“Troy, I know you like to have someone hold your hand as you walk to class, but normally that's Abed’s job. Please don't allow me to take that pleasure from him.” You said, face completely blank. If you looked hard enough, you thought Abed’s nose flared a bit to insinuate a laugh.
“No, that’s not what I'm here to— hey how did you know that?” Troy took another gulp of air as his brows furrowed.
“I took a guess based on the way both your bodies and hands are angled apart each morning as you walk into Senior Chang’s class. Also, when you eat Cheetos, it rubs off onto the back of Abed's palm.”
“I don't eat Cheetos that much.” Troy frowned. “Do I? For the record I am not gay." Troy made sure to ennunciate that last part as he stared you down. His facial expression reminded you of a nervous first grader doing a bad job in their school play.
“You do, and that's not important right now.” Abed answered back. His head snapped to you with the same amount of intensity that he always got when thinking of a movie reference, and you got the sense he was holding back for the sake of the conversation.
Raising both eyebrows, you motioned for them to go on. The hallway was clearing out a bit more, and you didn't want to be caught late for Changs class a third time in a row. Last time he threatened to beat you with maracas, and you wouldn't put it past him to actually carry through with it this time.
“Listen, we have something important to say.” Troy began. Abed backed him up with a furious nod, or his equivalent of it. Which really just boiled down to a regular paced nod.
"Is this about Valentine's day? You should ask Shirley about that."
"Come on man!" Troy threw his hands in the air, turning away from the both of you and crossing his arms. "How did you possibly come to that conclusion so fast?!"
"We were just talking about us holding hands."
"Thank you Abed." The both of you said at the same time. Albeit Troy with a little more teeth grinding then nessicary.
"Did you become a ninja overnight? Did you take a ninja class?" Troy took a step forward as he pointed his forefinger in your face. You stared at it as it approached, going cross-eyed momentarily.
"Yes. And if you did, I would like the name to that class." Abed pipped up.
"No, I didn't go to a ninja class." You said while pushing Troy's arm down. "Does this mean I'm right?"
The lack of response from Troy and Abed's unbothered expression provided you with your answer.
"Are you two trying to ask for dating advice or something?" You frowned as you started to walk in the direction of Spanish. Both of them followed as you fixed your backpack strap. "Because if so, Troy you could learn a lot from Abed. And Abed, if you're having a problem, I don't know how to make you anymore appealing to the ladies than you already are."
"It's true." He responded, looking off into what he probably thought was the fourth wall. "I am devilishly irresistible."
"Stop that!" Troy waved his hand in front of his friends face, bringing both their attentions back to you. "Listen. We were wondering how to go about asking the same person to the dance tonight."
"Oh. So like a love triangle thing? I never liked that troupe."
"No no." Troy shut his eyes as he shook his head. "More of like, uh—"
"Neither of us exactly know." Abed cut Troy off in a matter of fact manor. "We both see ourselves hanging out with them at the dance, but aren't exactly jealous of the other being there too."
"If you wanted me to I could crack open Websters dictionary to find a word for that."
"No thank you." Abed echoed. You simply shrugged.
"Okay. So what do you want me to do about it?" You questioned while turning a corner to another hallway. The three of you were nearly at Spanish now, but this conversation had pulled you in more than conjugating verbs ever could.
"We don't. Exactly know how to ask this person to go to the dance." Troy sucked in a breath.
"You guys have seen plenty of movies. Do the typical thing. Flowers, chocolate, and not what they do in your sci-fi movies Abed." You grinned at him knowingly as you passed through the doorway to class. "Personally I'd take kickpunching robots over literally anything ever, but I tend to be the exception for most things."
"It's not a date though. It's, like, three really close people hanging out. Not in a gay way though! I like girls! With boobs. Yes." Troy stammered as you all plopped into your rickety seats.
"Nice save Troy." Senior Chang called from the front of class with a snicker. He brought his feet down off his teachers desk to lean forward and cup his hands around his mouth. "Or should I call you gay-lord!"
"I really hate this language requirement." Troy grumbled, sinking into his chair. You snorted as Abed stiffly reached his hand out to pat his shoulder, making robot sounds as he did so.
"Cheer up." You allowed yourself a shit eating grin. "It is Valentine's day after all."
“Well that was a disaster.” You said over the sound of a ringing bell. Students and teachers alike passed you and Annie by as the two of you made your way through the hall, neither of them seeming to care very much if they bumped into you or not. To say that’d you’d almost gotten into a fight or two due to traffic here would be an understatement.
“I don’t know.” Annie frowned. She brushed her hair out of her face and clutched her books to the front of her chest. You made a face subconsciously, the sight reminding you all too much of the stereotypical school girl. “I thought it was very mean of Senior Chang to do that to Troy! And Pierce, I guess.”
“Annie. He called a balding senior citizen and a lonely freshman out on their sad Valentine’s Day gifts to themselves. It’s Chang. Of course it’s mean. But mean things can also be also be disasters.”
The girl next to you seemed to think about your words for a second. Furrowing her brows once or twice, she eventually let out what you could only describe as a harumph.
“Well I think we should do something about it!”
“Pass.” You said without a seconds hesitation. Annie deflated a bit at that and eyed the tips of her shoes. You stole a look down at her, and let out a sigh.
“You know me. I’m such a big fan of sticking my nose in other peoples business when it doesn’t belong— “ Sarcasm. “— but I think you and Shirley would be a better duo for this. She’s ruthless when she sets her mind to it, and you’re crafty in the way that you could have written the script for the movie Seven if you wanted to. Probably.”
“Aww thanks! I think.” Annie beamed. She regained some pep in her step as she skipped ahead of you, only turning back to say one more thing to you. “No wonder Troy and Abed like to talk about you so much. So many obscure movie references between you guys. Cute!”
“Seven was a box office hit, Annie— “ You began with the hint of a frown tugging at your lips, but she was already off. No doubt to find Shirley before lunch so they could cook up their plan in a flurry of giggles. That only left you with one more question.
“They talk about me?”
Jeff huffed as he walked into the near empty classroom. His hands, which he had spent the last three minutes nervously slathering in expensive lotion as a part of his mid-day exfoliation routine, were stuffed deep into his jacket pockets. He wasn’t exactly looking forward to this interaction, but sometimes he’d throw his better judgment out the window. Sometimes.
Raising a single eyebrow, he glanced around at the spare video equipment set up; the bulk of which was sat right in front of his target. The former lawyer ignored as a kid in a yellow button up kicked a trash can across the room, instead making a beeline for Abed. Who was giving directions rather loudly to the angry kid.
“Wow. Do you normally deal with divas like this?” Jeff flashed his signature charming smile while commenting on the temper tantrum. Better to be friendly and break the ice rather than dive right in. Otherwise you’d scare people off. He learned that while working at the firm.
“One Papa Johns commercial, and he thinks he’s Christian Bale.” Abed pursed his lips comically.
“Look, uh— “ Jeff began to steer away from the topic of the questionable kid as he pulls Abed’s attention in. “You were right earlier. During Spanish. Britta is being weird around me, and I don’t know what to do about it.”
“By being right, do you mean my prediction that the accidental booty call she sent you while drunk is going to cause the imminent breakup of our fragile group?”
Jeff blinked.
“Yeah. That.” He spat out.
“Nice. So what can I do for you?” Abed leaned back into his makeshift directors chair while crossing his legs. “Do you need a drunk voicemail of your own to send to her so the score will be evened? Because I have nowhere to be for the next twenty four hours and personal dilema to avoid.”
Jeff inhaled with the intent to bulldoze over the younger mans statement, but ended up falling flat.
“Ignoring that last part, yeah I do, actually. How did you know that?” He squinted. Jeff would never admit it, but sometimes it creeped him out how easily Abed could predict what people would say next.
“Classic sitcom staple.” Abed shrugged without changing his expression one bit. “Goes hand in hand with the booty call. Now— “ He leaned forward with a glint in his eye. One that Jeff didn’t quite like.
“How well can you act?”
You don’t know how you ended up here, and you had been ready to leave the moment you arrived.
A faint punch stain from years ago sat at the hem off of your slacks, reminiscent of a house party from a year ago that had ended in disarray. They were the good slacks too. Paired with what was thankfully an unstained button up polo shirt. This was the closest anyone was going get to fancy from you tonight.
Various pink and red hues cascaded across the dance floor, playing into the Valentine’s Day theme as the schools mascot continued to prowl around on the dance floor. You were sure that the dean would be happy with himself over that if it wasn’t for the fact that couples were making out everywhere. It was pretty fun watching him try to break them all up, actually. You’d made a little game out of it with how long you’d been standing at the punch table.
The toe of your shoe came in contact with a stray balloon from one of the tables centerpieces. With a downward twitch of your lips, you picked the rubbery material up into your hands and started messing with it. Sounds of latex on skin distracted you from all of the screeching and poor singing.
“Not having a lot of fun, huh?” A voice from your left asked.
Glancing near the onion rings that had been laid out as finger food, you saw the familiar form Britta peering at you from under some fake eyelashes. That would have been more of a shock to you if the skimpy red dress she was wearing didn’t overshadow it.
“Hey there.” You avoided her question as you threw the balloon back into the crowd it had come from. “Great disco ball costume. Very sparkly.”
“Ha ha.” She mocked you before crossing your arms. “For the record, I still think Valentine’s Day is a sham. I’m just doing this to see Jeff squirm.”
“Ah. Well then, I’m sure all of the women out there will forgive you for your transgressions.” You teased her with an empty smile.
Britta let out a cross between a laugh and a huff, gaze straying from you to look out at the mass you launched your balloon into. Occasionally someone in unusually high heels would fall, only to be swept back up into the bobbing heads.
“Have you talked to Troy lately?” Britta cut in suddenly. The tone of her voice made you narrow your eyes, and you hummed out a suspicious no.
“That question is both too casual and well delivered on a night like this to have come from you. What’s going on.” You had fully abandoned kicking around stray balloons for talking with her. Or at least, staring at her forehead while she talked. You didn’t know if you could manage eye contact right now.
“He was looking for you earlier at lunch. While sweating. A lot.” Britta scrunched her nose up as if she could still smell the body odor. “Sounded like he wanted to ask you something.”
You looked away from her for a moment, temporarily overcome with a feeling of nausea.
“Oh, yeah. My bad. I was in the study room.” A pause. “Studying.”
“Troy said that he checked there beforehand.” It was Britta’s turn to squint at you. “Why are you the one acting weird now?”
Rubbing at the back of your neck proved as a temporary relief to her question. Inhaling through your mouth, you pulled out your phone and messed with it for a second.
“I got a weird voicemail from Abed today. The main part is him talking to me about the dance scene from Breakfast Club, I think, and some weird phone thing with Jeff and you— " Britta coughed into her hand at that “— but the last few seconds really threw me.”
You opened your mouth to continue the story, but quickly shut it once you saw that Britta wasn’t paying attention anymore. You didn’t even have to follow her line of sight to know she was staring at a dejected looking Jeff— who had been standing by the cusp of the exit for six minutes now. You didn’t even have to nod at her to go before she took off, awkwardly waddling in her stilletos in an attempt to not trip.
It only took a few more minutes of watching the two of them go back and forth for you to give up on anything exciting happening to you. With a halfhearted grumble, you took one last grab at the punch bowl before starting towards the double doors. You hoped the juice had been spiked. If you made all this effort to show up to some lame school thing, might as well get a little tipsy.
“Well this is awkward.”
A harsh cough came from your throat as you choked on your own spit. In an attempt to make yourself feel better, you turned around to glare at whoever had scared you, only to start coughing more.
“Abed?” You wheezed. Letting out another round of coughs, you caught a glimpse of yourself in the reflection of the sunglasses on his face.
“I came as fast as I could when I realized Troy was stuck as Senior Changs whore for the night.” He looked at you calmly as you continued to die a little right in front of him.
Finally taking one more gulp of punch from the table, you calmed down enough to string together a sentence.
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“Let me explain for any in the audience that might have missed it while in the bathroom.” Abed held up a finger. All you could do was deadpan weakly at him.
“Both Troy and I approached you a little bit ago saying that we had something important to say to you. He worded it wrong. We were supposed to ask you something, not tell you. Instead, Troy allowed Senior Chang’s torture to ruin that question, and later I with Jeff and Britta’s voicemail problems”
“Their what’s? What is going on with voicemails today.”
“Not important.” Abed carried on. “What’s important is that while I was fulfilling the spot of Jeff’s drinking buddy, I realized something.”
“That you shouldn’t be drinking??” You questioned wildly. It was beginning to feel like this night was a special episode in a really bad main cable show. Either that or this place was finally getting to you.
“No. I realized that while Troy was fitting himself and Pierce into extra tight women’s suits, that we would miss the opportunity to ask you what we wanted to. I called Troy to tell him to go look for you, but only after sending a call to you that I do not remember the contents of. I assume you have it?” He blinked owlishly.
With a pair of very wide and very confused eyes, you grabbed your phone for the second time that night and shook it with a loose wrist. The audio from a few hours ago began to play faintly. It’s sound was swallowed by the bass of the dances music, but the both of you could still make the words out. Abed’s voice tumbled out at twice the speed it normally does, his energy no doubt heightened by alcohol.
“— e’re sort of like Marty McFly and Jennifer Parker, but there’s three of us. Have you seen the second movie? I need to show you the second movie. There’s more of Jennifer in that than the first. And Martys mom isn’t trying to get with him. Oh, and you don’t have to have a time traveling car for us to want to go to the dance with you. Although that would be nice. Jeff stop drooling on tha —"
Abed looked at it silently as the message continued to run. It was as if he expected nothing more from its contents. For a second you wondered how he’d react to the twenty minutes before that where all he talks about is Breakfast Club, but you figured it would be the same.
The feeling of nausea from earlier was back, and this time was trying to crawl out of your throat with a ferocity. Swallowing both your nerves and that not so metaphorical metaphor, you inhaled.
“So. Troy’s okay with this?” You asked cautiously, as if this was a dubious prank. Abed nodded almost immediately after you asked. The nausea subsided.
“And you’re okay with this?”
Another nod.
“Alright.” You shuffled. It felt like ten pounds had been lifted off your chest, and you didn't know how to express that. “I’ll go to the dance. With the both of you.”
A brief period of silence stretched between the two of you. The lights continued to flair, and the music continued to shake the floorboards, but none of you moved.
“Abed?”
“Sorry. You made me so happy I peed a little, and didn’t want to say anything.”
The corner of your mouth lifted up once. Twice. It only took one more time for a tirade of laughter to escape you all in one go. Abed’s unmoving expression just watched as you laughed to yourself, waiting patiently until you had stopped. When you paused to catch your breath, Abed placed a hand on your shoulder and looked up at the ceiling thoughtfully.
“Normally this doesn’t happen in shows.” He hummed. “Do you think that this is a way of adding some diversity in the form of a polyamorous couple at a community college?”
“How about no lables?” You suggested. “It feels weird. What if it was just me, you, and Troy for now.”
Abed repeated your words under his breath, mumbling a little. He lifted his head back up to you with his thought on the proposition, which arrived in the form of a steady thumbs up.
“Cool. Cool cool cool.” You grinned at him. Abed’s nose flared at your use of his unspoken catchphrase, and he turned away from you to cup his hands around his mouth.
"They said yes!" He told the figure dancing on the floor; the likes of which responded with a yell of victory before getting back to it. It took you a minute to get past the skintight blue suit and floral scarf to realize who it was.
"Troy?!" You sputtered with an open mouth. He looked at you at the mention of his name with a painful smile before turning back to his dance partner with a dramatic sob.
"What is he wearing? And why is Senior Chang— oh god." Your eyes widened, unable to look away. "I think I'm going to puke."
"It's better if you don't question it." Abed told you, his hand just a few inches shy of touching his eyes as he hid behind it.
"Give me your hand Abed." You said blankly. Without questioning you, he held it out. You were quick to sheild your own eyes from the dancing.
"So." You turned your head to look at him after a moment of gross silence, both of his hands still in the air. "Movie date tonight when Troy is released from captivity?"
"I've been waiting forever for you to ask that."
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