#SORRY IF IT MAKES YOU RE-EVALUATE YOUR ASSUMPTIONS ABOUT ME. ABOUT PEOPLE LIKE ME.

[ghostzzy]

anyway it kinda sorta feels like my life is just now starting.

[illfoandillfie]

I don’t know if you’re still doing asks for the advent calendar. But just wondering if you could do a Ben x Reader x Present!Roger, where Ben and reader are the subs for Rog and he is hard!dom and they’re getting punished but at the end it’s super fluffy with my fav poly relationship. Idk if this makes since and I hope you could be comfortable with writing this! Btw love your writing! ❤️❤️

Oh i absolutely love this prompt and honestly i can’t think of a better way to end this thing than with a rog x ben threesome!!

Warnings: smut, spanking, edging/orgasm denial, sir kink, dom! rog, sub! ben, sub! reader, collars, a tiny bit of hair pulling, overstimulation, minor mentions of oral sex (m and f receiving), there’s also a bit where rog steps on reader, also its like 4k lmao

Blurb Advent: Day 25

It had been natural to let Roger take the lead, so to speak, in your relationship. Even in the early days, there’d never really been a question about you submitting to Roger. For one thing, you trended towards submissive anyway but something about Roger, the way he carried himself, automatically made you want to kneel before him. Age probably had something to do with it too. There was a perceived expertise because he was older (and as he frequently joked, wiser too), that had you agreeing to call him Sir and to follow his instructions, even within the first few weeks of getting together. Normally you’d wait a while before jumping into anything especially kinky with someone new, and to be fair he hadn’t rushed into bringing out the harder stuff, but it was almost shameful how fast you’d let him toy with you, agreeing to wear a collar to symbolise your submission. You’d well and truly established your dom/sub relationship before you’d agreed to consider each other boyfriend and girlfriend, (His age may have been a hinderance there, the word boyfriend not often associated with someone like him) so when Ben first met you, he assumed something entirely different. Roger had invited him around for dinner, with the added intention of being able to talk drums for as long as they wanted. Ben had shook your hand and made a comment that implied he thought you were Roger’s niece or grand daughter or something along those lines and before you’d been able to correct him he was caught up in a discussion with Roger about one of the songs he had to play in the movie. You left them too it, shrugging Ben’s assumption off. If you were going to date a man in his seventies then you had to be prepared for people to think you were connected by blood or else that you were in it for the money. Neither was true but it’s what people would think and there was no reason to get upset about it. Ben’s impression was re-evaluated later that day when he’d wandered away from the drum kit to find Roger and walked in on him giving you a quick edge. As soon as he realised Ben was there Roger apologised.

“Oh, that’s um, no, uh, no need for that,” Ben stuttered out, “I just thought, but, uh, I was obviously wrong,”

“Family or sugar baby?” Roger asked curiously.

“Family. Then sugar baby when I saw your hand up her skirt.” Ben seemed to realise what he’d said, his cheeks flushing with embarrassment.

“She’s my girlfriend actually,” Roger turned his head to smile at you, “I would have said so but we’ve really only just started telling people so it kind of slipped my mind that I could,”

“No worries, um, I’ll leave you to it and just go try out that bit on the drums again.” Ben turned and walked back down the hallway as quickly as he could, Roger chuckling softly as he kissed the top of your head.

“How would you feel if I invited Ben to have sex with us?” he asked suddenly.

“What?”

“I’m not saying I definitely will but…he’s been looking at you a lot this afternoon. I figured he was probably trying to work out who you were to me but if he assumed family he might have been checking you out.”

“You think?” you asked, trying to keep your tone level. Ben was fit and you wouldn’t have minded him making a pass at you, even if you’d had to turn him down.

“I’ll keep an eye on him, see if I can work it out, but would you be okay with that? If he joined us?”

“That sounds kind of fun,”

“Alright then, I’ll feel him out and see if I can’t convince him to stay the night.”

 Over the course of the afternoon and evening Roger used every trick in his book to determine Ben’s attraction to you, and if he’d be interested in a threeway, steadily getting less and less subtle. By the time dinner had been eaten just about all delicacy was out the window.

“Look, sorry again about earlier,” Roger said, passing Ben a scotch and soda, “I’ve been edging Y/N a bit today because I’m planning on fucking her rotten tonight and I want her dripping wet and ready to beg for it,”

You weren’t sure whether you or Ben was more embarrassed by that but Roger didn’t seem to notice.

“Not that I really need too because she’s got, well let’s call it a very healthy sex drive. Edging her keeps her in her place and makes sure she knows I’m the one who controls if and when she gets an orgasm, but honestly she’s ready to go whenever I ask. I could tell her to strip right now and she would.”

“Is that right?” Ben said despite himself. His eyes darted about the room, not knowing where to look, but his tone was curious.

“She’s very obedient. If you wanted I could tell her to suck you off and it would take literally two seconds for her to be on her knees.”

Ben audibly gulped, his face beyond pink.

“Should I tell her to do that Ben?”

“Umm,”

“I think she’d like it if you joined us tonight. She does think you’re fit.”

“J-joi-join you?”

“We can set up one of the spare rooms for you if you want to stay. I might even see about lending her to you for the night.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, hypothetically, if you did stay, we’d share her for a bit, make up for all those edges I gave her. Then afterwards you could take her off to another bed and have her as many times as you wanted while I got a good nights sleep. Twice this week she’s wanted me in the middle of the night, it’d be nice to let someone else deal with her instead. Of course, there would be a few ground rules but they’re easy enough.”

“Like what?”

“Oh well, you can take her raw if you like but we’d prefer you not to finish in her cunt. Anywhere else is fine though. Obviously safewords are a must and limits have to be respected, hers, yours and mine. And you do need to understand that I’m in charge. She submits to me, she calls me Sir and she wears a collar for me. We both enjoy it, we both get off on it, and we expect anyone who joins us to understand that.”

“I understand,” Ben nodded.

“Does that mean you want to stay?”

“Yes.”

Roger had grinned and turned to you, “Well, why don’t you give our guest a proper welcome.”

 Ben fit in better than you might have assumed he would. It had been natural for you to submit and apparently Ben felt the same. That first night he constantly looked to Roger for guidance and permission, not wanting to overstep any boundaries or do something that would bring the night to an end. As you’d sucked Ben’s cock Roger had commanded you both, telling you when to deepthroat him and when to come up for air, telling him to grab your hair or push you down further. After that he’d suggested Ben repay you and walked him through edging you with just his fingers, teaching him the signs of your impending orgasm so he could stop it at the last second. And when you did finally make it to the bedroom, he’d told you both how to position yourselves, giving instructions and making demands as you’d been filled by both of them. Ben joined you in calling Roger Sir, giving up control as fully as you did. When Roger suggested edging Ben himself, Ben didn’t object. He dropped his eyes and bit his lip and whined prettily as Roger stroked his cock carefully, always stopping short. Afterwards he’d been rewarded, as Roger had promised he would be, with you as company in his bed. Mostly you’d stayed up talking, Ben curiously asking questions about your relationship with Roger and how it had come about. He was most intrigued by the dominant and submissive dynamics, how it worked and how you’d felt adding an extra person to it. Of course, you’d made sure it wasn’t all talk. Ben was hot and Roger expected him to fuck you so there was no harm in it. Besides, you knew Roger would call you a good girl if you were obedient and took Ben however he wanted. Ben seemed to like that aspect of your reasoning too. He didn’t want to disappoint Roger by not using you and the chance of being called a good boy for it was motivation enough.

 You’d expected it to be a one night thing but a couple of weeks later Roger had extended Ben another invitation to dinner. Things went in much the same direction, only Ben had fallen asleep in the bed you shared with Roger rather than taking a spare for himself and the next morning had offered a repeat performance of the night before. It was the same the next time Ben came for dinner and the time after that. On the sixth time you all gave up the pretext of dinner. Ben arrived earlier in the afternoon and Roger greeted him with the order to strip, which he did without question. The next morning Roger, pleased with Ben, made a suggestion that it become more official, and offered him a collar identical to yours.

“You can say no, of course,”

Ben hadn’t even hesitated before he picked up the collar and fitted it around his throat. You’d helped him with the clasp at a look from Roger who’d then ordered you both to suck him off. From then on it became a much more regular thing. For the most part both you and Ben would submit to Roger, gradually showing Ben harder things like spankings and restraints and all the fun stuff. Sometimes Roger would just sit back and watch Ben have his way with you and sometimes he’d disappear with Ben while you were busy or not in the mood. When Roger was called overseas unexpectedly Ben stayed with you. Roger asked for photos and videos and you delighted in sending him pictures of hickeys and scratches you gave each other as well as videos of each of you edging or Ben’s cock sliding in and out of your cunt, your moans in the background. Of course, the shifts in your sexual relationships also impacted your non-sexual relationships. Ben was important to you and Roger. He wasn’t just someone you hooked up with, he was part of things. When you redecorated the kitchen, Ben helped pick out the colours and when Roger wanted someone to listen to the first demo of a new song he’d written, Ben was there to give feedback. He was an extra shoulder to lean on, an extra pair of hands when there was chores to be done, and extra person to spend time with. But even with all the changes, your sexual dynamic remained the same. Roger was in charge. And that was how he liked it. Especially when he got to punish one or both of you.

Not that his punishments were ever really punishments. Once he’d come home from a weekend trip, expecting a clean house only to find the kitchen covered in rubbish and dirty dishes while you and Ben giggled away under the covers upstairs. He’d got very stern and made you both write lines. I will complete my chores before I have sex one hundred times each. But for the most part his punishments were actually fun, if a little painful. Spanking and orgasm denial and bondage, things that you could get off on, and always for small misdemeanours like poking your tongue out at him or going over an edge before you had permission. Because you and Ben enjoyed giving up control so much, your slight bratty tendencies generally just signalled a desire to be pushed or for something a little harder than what he was giving you. When one of you acted out without involving the other he’d let them help with the punishment, giving you both an outlet for any of your slightly more dominant inclinations. But more often than not you’d wind up being punished together.

On one such occasion, you and Ben had started teasingly referring to Roger as Mr Softie within his hearing after he’d dripped ice cream on his shirt. He’d smiled and laughed along but that evening he’d got back at you, using your collars to chain you to the desk in his office, your hands bound in cuffs in front of you. For a while he left you there, just out of reach of each other, wondering what he had in store. The silence was broken every so often by one of you making a quiet suggestion as to what he might do to you or wondering when he’d return, the anticipation building with each passing minute. Your heart pounded in your chest but you only grew wetter as you were forced to wait and Ben seemed to be in a similar predicament, his pants getting steadily tighter. Finally, Roger returned, ignoring you as he placed a paddle and a vibrator down on the desk you were tied to. Without acknowledging you he unclasped Ben’s collar, giving it a tug to make Ben crawl toward the couch set up at the other end of the room.

“Sir?” Ben asked as he reached the couch, looking up at Roger from his place on the floor.

“Up on the couch. Face down. Now.”

Ben jumped to follow the direction, settling with his face pressed against one cushion, his knees resting on the other, and his hips as high in the air as he could comfortably manage.

“Right,” Roger said, turning back to the desk and continuing to ignore you, “It seems you need to be taught a lesson about respect. And I think the fastest way to teach you is to spank your arse raw. Maybe a few days of not being able to sit down will be a strong enough reminder that I own you and you will respect me.” As he talked, Roger retrieved the paddle and tapped it against his hand, just loud enough that Ben could hear, his whimpers rising as he waited for the first strike. You watched as Roger stalked towards Ben, raised his arm and brought it down hard on Ben’s arse, the shocked cry that escaped Ben almost enough to have you whining yourself. Roger didn’t pause, just lay three or four hits on Ben, each one hard enough that Ben tried to wriggle away and the sound cut through the mostly quiet room. Suddenly Roger reached for Ben’s cock, stroking his already hard member before laying another few spanks on him. Ben made a mixture of sounds, some of pain and some of pleasure but all of them egged Roger on as he edged Ben and turned his arse a dappled purple wherever the paddle struck.

“How does that feel slut? Does it hurt?” Roger’s tone shifted to one of mock whining and back in a matter of seconds, “that whore’s going to be in for it too since it was her idea to disrespect me.”

Ben howled as another few spanks hit him, tears getting lost in the cushion of the couch, but you could see how his hips jolted with every light touch to his dick and how he twitched when Roger retracted his hand.

You’d lost count of how many edges and spanks Ben had received by the time Roger hooked two fingers into the collar, using his grip to pull Ben up higher, “Do you think you’ve learnt your lesson or should I keep teaching you?”

Ben shook his head, eyes still watery and voice more of a sob, “no more, please, I understand,”

“I’m very happy to hear that. Do you think you should be allowed to cum now?”

“Yes please Sir,”

“Yeah? You think I should stop being mean and wank you off already?”

Ben nodded.

“Okay then Benny. But only if she manages to hold out.”

Ben whimpered but nodded, falling to his side.

Roger gently stroked his fingers through Ben’s with a few quiet words of praise before he turned to you. Just like with Ben, Roger unchained you and then made you crawl to the couch. It was awkward with your arms bound but you didn’t dare sit up straighter to walk on your knees, that would only leader to a harder punishment. When you reached the couch Roger stopped you, telling you to turn around and get into the same position Ben had been in, your face against the carpet and your arse in the air. The only difference was that you remained on the floor, your arse facing Ben. The first spank took you by surprise. You’d been so concerned with your position and wondering how closely Ben was watching that you’d forgotten what was coming. It was followed by another three in rapid fire, the paddle thwacking you with such force that you jolted forward each time.

“You’re in trouble Benny,” Roger said, bending slightly to drag his fingers along your cunt, “She’s already soaked. Don’t know she’ll last.”

You whined and squirmed as his fingers traced over you and then yelled when he hit you again. There was no pattern to his punishment, try as you might to find one. He gave you two hits and then pressed his fingers into you, fucking you with them for a moment, and then another five hits, his fingertips lightly rubbing your clit, another two spanks, a spank to your cunt, another three to your arse, and then his fingers again. But there was no way to tell how many spanks you’d endure before he edged you or even how he’d touch you, whether he’d twist his fingers inside you or circle your clit.

“Finger her for me,” Roger said and you heard Ben wince as he stood and knelt behind you. You heard Roger walk away as Ben sank his fingers into you. He slowly pulled them out and pushed them back in, wanting to do as he’d been told, but not wanting to accidentally push you over the edge lest he not get his own orgasm. That was until Roger, over his shoulder, told Ben to do it properly or be spanked again. After that Ben was merciless, shoving a third fingers into you and roughly pounding his them as deep as he could go.

“That’s better,” Roger said when he returned to your side, “make the whore pay for getting you into trouble.”

You cried out and tried to wriggle away as another spank came down on you, but it was impossible to escape with Ben’s fingers hooked in your cunt and your bound hands. All the same Roger placed one of his feet on the side of your head, holding you down against the carpet as he whacked you again and again, ignoring your screams and the tears soaking the carpet. He stopped and you breathed a sigh of relief but it was short lived as a buzzing noise filled the room and you remembered the toy he’d brought in with the paddle.

 There was no way to suppress your moan as Roger held the vibrator against your clit, warning you not to cum. He held it there for a matter of seconds and then pulled it away again. Ben’s fingers left you a second later and then you were being tugged up by your collar again, the thick leather band pressing into your throat.

“On the couch, whore.”

“Yes, Sir,” you managed to sob as a few more tears rolled down your cheeks.

Once you were on the couch, positioned the same way you had been on the floor, Ben was handed the vibrator.

“Against her clit, highest setting. Don’t move it until I tell you.”

You whimpered, knowing there was no way you could hold back an orgasm with that kind of stimulation. But that didn’t seem to matter to Roger. He expected you to hold it, reminding you that you didn’t have permission in low growl as he spanked you on the back of your thigh. Your arse tingled all over, stinging twice as much whenever he hit you again but it was nothing to the sensation of the vibrator against your clit.

“I’m close,” you whined before another cry was ripped from you as Roger spanked the back of your other thigh.

“Don’t move it slut. The whore needs to fucking hold it.”

You tried but it was no use, there was nothing you could think of, nothing you could do, that could keep you from disobeying. You moaned as the orgasm rolled through you and heard Roger drop the paddle.

“Don’t move it Ben,” Roger growled as he stalked around to your head, pulling it up by the hair, “I thought I told you to hold it whore,”

“I’m sorry, Sir,” you half yelled, whining as the vibrator kept buzzing against your clit.

“You will be.”

You lost sight of Roger as he shoved you back down and walked away.

“Guess we have our answer Ben. Since the whore couldn’t stop herself from cumming, you won’t be allowed to.”

“No, Sir, please, I really need to,”

“That was our deal though slut.”

“Sir,”

“Don’t argue, it’ll just make things worse for you. And don’t move that vibrator.”

Ben fell silent, though a few whimpers escaped him as he pressed the vibrator against you harder.

You were expecting another series of spanks, so when you heard the small jingle sound of Roger removing his belt you cringed away, assuming that was what he was going to hit you with. But instead of the swishing sound it made before a strike, it was followed by the sound of a zip. Roger grabbed your hips and pulled them around so he could press his cock into you. By now the vibrator against your clit felt painful, the overstimulation enough to make you sob but the feeling was only amplified by Roger fucking you hard, his jeans rubbing against your arse since he hadn’t bothered to push them down. You squealed and sobbed as he used your cunt, the vibrator torturing your sensitive clit and making you cry into the couch cushion. Roger just grunted about how tight you were and how your sobs just turned him on more, until finally he came deep inside you. Only after he pulled out did he take the vibrator from Ben, shushing you when you sobbed out a thank you. He stood behind you until he saw his cum dribble out of you and then pulled Ben up by the collar and told him to clean you up. There were footsteps as he left the room but neither of you dared disobey so Ben continued to spread your lips with his thumbs and lick along your slit, pulling a soft moan from you. Roger returned with a warm damp cloth and told Ben to stop. He swiped the cloth over your thighs and up along your lips, gently cleaning off whatever Ben had missed. When he was satisfied he asked you to move over and sat down in the centre of the couch.

“You did so well, Y/N,” he said softly, letting you rest your head in his lap and smoothing back your hair with his palm, “Do you wanna come up here Ben?”

Ben nodded and gingerly knelt on Roger’s other side, too sore to sit properly.

“You were such a good boy Ben, and I’m so proud of you for holding out,” he said as he lay the damp cloth flat against his hand and then reached for Ben’s dick, using the cloth to wank him, “You can cum now.”

Ben panted out a thank you, his voice falling into a moan as he finally got what he’d needed for so long. You watched through tired eyes as Roger’s fist pumped over Ben’s length until his hips stuttered and he moaned with his release. Roger kept praising him until he was completely spent, using the cloth to gather the evidence of the orgasm. It was thrown to the floor and Roger carefully unfastened Ben’s collar, leaning in to give him a soft kiss on the lips and whisper that he loved him. He wrapped his arm around Ben and let him settle on his chest.

“Y/N, love, can you sit up for me?”

You nodded and slowly pushed yourself up, feeling a little dazed.

Roger gently removed your collar and kissed you too, taking an extra moment to cup your cheek, his thumb wiping away the last of your tears, and remind you how good you were and how much he loved you before he let you settle in his lap again. He knew he’d have to move you both eventually. There were ice packs and aloe downstairs in the kitchen that would help with your bruised arses and he’d have to make sure you both ate something and drank some water before you went to sleep. But Roger was happy just to sit there for a while to comfort and cuddle the two people he loved most.

[gay-jesus-probably]

Bisexuality didn't "feel right" as a label because you're biphobic and will do anything to distance yourself from bisexuality. Get well soon, the bi community will be here when you're ready.

Are you the raging homophobe anon back for round two or a new guy? ...It doesn’t really matter, you people are all the same.

If you are the same anon, then now I’m extra pissed off at you because do you have any idea how difficult it is to make fun of your messages? You’re making this really hard for me. First you send a five word ask declaring me a homophobe with no details, and it took a lot of thinking to come up with a vaguely funny response to such a lackluster prompt. You’re a really bad improv partner.

And now you send me this shit. Sorry everybody, no jokes today, now I’m actually just fucking furious.

Let me tell you a story, anon. When I was an innocent little twelve year old back in the far of reaches of 2011, I first discovered Tumblr, and soon enough I was learning about different genders and sexualities, and began exploring my own identity. As you already know since you’re sarcastically quoting me talking about my own fucking feelings, I’d been having a minor sexuality crisis for several years at that point, since gay, straight and bisexual were the only label I’d known before then, and none of them fit me. Despite me trying all of them. Multiple times. You condescending piece of shit.All this was resolved by me stumbling across a post defining pansexuality, and that being the first and only sexual identity that’s ever actually felt right for me. It clicked instantly, and has continued to be my sexuality for literally a decade now.

But back when I first started entering the queer community, pansexuality was actually pretty controversial. So was bisexuality. The two were just lumped together actually, because according to the exclusionists back then, bi/pan people are attracted to the opposite sex, and therefor are basically just straight. Actually they rarely cared enough to bother differentiating between bisexual and pansexual people, they just lumped us all in together as a bunch of heteros pretending to be gay for attention and oppressing the real gays. What a bunch of special fucking snowflakes, pretending to be gay for attention. So there I was, a twelve year old queer kid with a brand new identity, being welcomed by a bunch of exclusionists angrily yelling about how I was definitely just a hetero faking it for attention, and being pansexual was Wrong and Bad. But it was okay, because the exclusionists knew better than me. They knew how I really felt, and what my real identity was. They could fix me. I just had to agree with everything they said and become the person they decided I was supposed to be.

I didn’t do that.

Let’s jump forward a few years. I was older, and still perfectly confident in my identity as a pansexual. I hadn’t considered any other parts of my identity. Why would I? I just never really thought much about gender. Then shortly after my fourteenth birthday, I watched a short film online about a trans boy figuring out his identity and working up the courage to come out to his mother. I don’t remember what it was called or most of the details. All I remember was the last scene where the boy and his mother got into an argument about him not feminine enough, which ended with him screaming that he wasn’t a girl. And then I unexpectedly burst into tears because neither was I.

So that was a fun surprise. Once I pulled through that unexpected sobbing breakdown in the middle of the night and re-evaluated my entire life, I realized that yeah. I really wasn’t a girl. I wasn’t a boy either. Fortunately by then I knew that nonbinary people were a thing, so I had plenty of options. I spent awhile feeling things out and experimenting with different labels and pronouns before finally settling on agender and they/them pronouns. Which was great! I felt better than ever, and was confident that I had my identity down and everything would be fine. But everything was not fine. Because I’d been so happy about the biphobia dying down that I hadn’t quite noticed the exclusionists switching targets. Now the nonbinary people were lying. What a bunch of special fucking snowflakes, pretending to be queer for attention. The ones who wanted to medically transition were declared to actually be poor confused trans people who couldn’t get over their internalized transphobia to accept their True Identities. And the rest of us... well, we were just a bunch of cishet special snowflakes playing at being trans for attention, and oppressing the real trans people. I wasn’t agender. I was a cis girl making up fake identities for attention, and calling myself nonbinary was Wrong and Bad. But it was okay, because the exclusionists knew better than me. They knew how I really felt, and what my real identity was. They could fix me. I just had to agree with everything they said and become the person they decided I was supposed to be.

I didn’t do that.

Step forward a few more years, now to eighteen year old me. There’s no dramatic revelations or long struggles this time, just a slow realization. Because I’d been single for years, and I wasn’t bothered by that. I actually enjoyed it. Marriage didn’t sound very appealing. Neither did dating. I’d dated people before, but I wasn’t sure if I actually wanted to; it was just... the thing I was supposed to do. I found people attractive, sure. But I hadn’t wanted to flirt with anyone. Actually, now that I was thinking about it, had I ever felt romantically attracted to anyone? I didn’t even want romance in fiction! So I experimented. Went on some dates just in case age made it more appealing (it didn’t). Began calling myself aromantic, and was pleasantly surprised to find that the longer I used it, the better it felt. It was right.

But once again, the exclusionists were back and even angier than ever. Because now aphobia was in full swing. After all, asexuality wasn’t really queer. It’s just not having sex! It’s basically straight! What a bunch of special fucking snowflakes, pretending to be queer for attention. And the aromantics, oh the aromantics who weren’t asexual were even worse. Because everyone knows that love is what makes us human. How could someone not feel romance? Us aro people weren’t just lying about our identities, we were pretending to not have feelings so that we could get away with using people for sex without commitment. Being aro meant I was an abusive sex crazed monster taking advantage of all the poor innocent allo’s. I wasn’t aromantic. I was a sexual predator making up a fake identity to take advantage of people, and even though I wasn’t actually sleeping around calling myself aro was Bad and Wrong. But it was okay, because the exclusionists knew better than me. They knew how I really felt, and what my real identity was. They could fix me. I just had to agree with everything they said and become the person they decided I was supposed to be.

And I didn’t fucking do that.

Look. I’ve been here for a very long time, and I have dealt with so many versions of exclusionist bullshit. Every aspect of my identity has been met with random fucking strangers online smugly informing me that I was wrong about myself and they were right. And that’s just the ones that wanted me to pretend to be something else; about half of the exclusionists didn’t make any attempts at conversion therapy, and instead skipped straight to suicide baiting. I’m not even getting into the actual homophobes I’ve had to deal with, or the TERF’s that have come after me under the assumption that I’m a trans woman. My point is, I’m pretty fucking used to this sort of thing.

This just hurts a little more, because like I said earlier, the first round of exclusionism I faced was just expanded biphobia. And the bi/pan community banded together in the face of that. We weren’t the exact same identities, but we were being treated the same, and we were similar enough that nobody really minded the difference. It was wonderful. Bi and pan people were a tightly knit group, and that was a sense of community I desperately needed when I was young. I’ve been seeing this coming for awhile. There’s been increasing amounts of bi people getting drawn in by exclusionist bullshit, and I’ve seen anti-pansexual sentiment growing. I just... really hoped it wouldn’t get this far. It’s sad, y’know? It feels like losing an old friend. I’m really disappointed that you think trying to force people out of their community is right. It’s fucking pathetic, and I hope that someday you’ll rediscover basic compassion and realize how much damage you’re doing to yourself and others. This sort of thing doesn’t help the bisexual community. It drives people away. It’s like the damage that TERF’s have done to the lesbian community; this sort of thing poisons the whole well. I hope you re-evaluate what you’re doing and find a more healthy mindset.

...But also at the same time: Who the fuck do you think you are? Take your condescending bullshit and shove it directly up your ass you fucking waste of oxygen. How the fuck dare you. Do you realize the fucking audacity it takes to claim to know someone's identity better than they do? You self centered egotistical douchebag. Your parents should feel ashamed for having raised such an utter failure of a human being. I’d tell you to go fuck yourself, but I can already tell you beat off twice a day to how fucking clever you think you are. If you ever darken my inbox again you’d better be damn sure you keep it anonymous, because if I find you I’ll kick your fucking teeth in, you smug piece of shit.

[dandunn]

Please read

I wanted to write something here because I’ve re-evaluated my stance on a few things, namely concerning a certain one piece ship I kinda went off on a while back. 

If you’re just here for Lupin or memes you can skip this. But if you think you know what this is about, it probably is? and I’d like to say my piece;

First off; by no means am I opening myself up for discussions about this ship. I still consider it incest and a squick for me, possibly even a trigger, but I realize that an equal amount don’t consider it incest and I can’t exactly say anything to change people’s minds on that.

I want to create a space where people are free to be open and honest about what kind of things they want out of the media they consume. I don’t want anyone to feel like they have to hide their opinions from me for fear that I’ll bite their head off.

I feel like the ant1/pr0-sh1pper debate has absolutely zero room for nuanced, balanced discussions about this sort of thing and I’ve long felt like I don’t fit in on either side. If you enjoy ships with large age gaps, you’re ‘indulging in p*dophilia’, if you’re an adult, you have no business enjoying ‘barely legal’ characters because that means you want to date them in real life - that sort of thing.  

Being an adult (28 in june this year) in fandom spaces often feels like I’m treading a razors edge between being a “fandom mom” who should leave fandom and probably get a life, and being part of some kind of puritanical “fandom police” and to be quite honest - I reject both sides! My favourite characters in one piece are currently 19 and 21 respectfully, and I purposefully aged them up to be older in the fic I’m in the process of finishing. So that means I want to date 18-21 year olds and I did that to dodge discussions about their ages. Well, sorry I don’t buy into this at all. If you’ve glanced at my ao3 for two minutes you’ll know that I write about edgy stuff, and stuff that would probably get me thrown in metaphorical fandom jail or whatever *cough* cobydr*ke.

So guys, I get it. My goal in fandom isn’t to shame or judge anyone, point fingers and make assumptions about people solely on what they ship. I’m over it. From now on, I want to cause the least amount of harm. I caused a dear friend of mine a lot of upset over this and probably a few other people too. Which I feel absolutely rancid about. 

You know that historically-misused phrase “I don’t agree with what you said, but I’ll defend to the death your right to say it”? Well, that’s basically where I am right now. No one deserves to feel shitty about the media they consume; rampant p*dophilic, homophobic and transphobic content notwithstanding. 

Accepting that other people have opinions that wildly differ from mine is something I continually struggle to cope with, but I’m trying to get better at. So again, if I’ve hurt anyone’s feelings with this, I am genuinely sorry. 

If you’re mad that I’m willing to extent certain types of shipper an olive branch here? Well uh, sorry I guess. But OP is a series with a lot of gray areas, and I think we as adults can have more mature discussions about that.

-jesse

[xbreathehopex]

10 Ways to Save Your Marriage From Divorce

When you think you may be on the brink of divorce, you may still have a glimmer of hope that you can save your marriage. You want to stay together. And by putting in the effort, you can do it. Find out more help by Amy Waterman

As soon as you feel that first flicker of unhappiness, start proactively changing your tune (well, as soon as you finish this article). “The sooner people start working on their marriage when they’re unhappy, the easier it can be [to get past your problems],” says therapist Maru Torres-Gregory, JD, PhD, LMFT, a teaching and supervising faculty member for the Marriage & Family Therapy Program at the Family Institute at Northwestern University.

Okay, but let's be real: You’ve been stewing in these feelings for quite some time. And you're not alone. “People don’t know how to stay in love. Life tends to get in the way, especially when you have children. The relationship stops being a priority,” says Bonnie Eaker Weil, PhD, a couples therapist in New York City and author of Makeup, Don’t Break Up: Finding and Keeping Love for Singles and Couples. "But most marriages can be saved."

Every couple’s situation and circumstances are different. So, too, are the reasons they drifted apart, ranging from a lack of communication to cheating. Still, there are certain exercises you can do as a couple and individual, plus small steps you can take with your partner now to increase love, trust, and intimacy in the hopes of keeping you together. Here are 10 places to start:

1. Map it out.

Individually and as a couple, Torres-Gregory suggests writing down the following: how you started as a couple, what attracted you to your partner, where you are now, how you got here, and where you want to go.

“You won’t be able to have the marriage you had in the beginning, but you can work on having a new marriage. Think of it as marriage 2.0,” she says. To do that, though, you first have to know what that would look like.

2. Turn inward.

Thanks, romantic comedies, for giving us idyllic expectations for love. “You need to be fulfilled individually, rather than expecting your partner to fulfill everything,” says Torres-Gregory. Your partner does not have to “complete” you—and shouldn’t. (Hopefully, you've learned this before you said your vows, but alas...)

“You should be complete so that you don’t burden your partner or the relationship with the responsibility of making you happy,” she says. Take a deep dive into yourself: Why do you rely on your partner for this? Was it because that’s what was modeled in your parent’s relationship? Are you buying what popular media tells you?

By asking yourself these questions, you might be able to suss out what work you need to do to be a happier version of yourself, not just a happier wife. (The one begets the other, btw.)

3. Stop assuming.

Your partner asks a question: “Are the bowls clean?” and you lay into them—why are they always saying that you don’t do your part to care for the house? Can’t they see you’re swamped with life and work, too? “When couples have been together for a long time, they think they know each other. They begin to assume the other’s thinking and motivations and get angry and reactive to these assumptions,” says Torres-Gregory.

Here's the thing: The anger may be entirely coming from an argument that you’re having in your head—not the reality of the situation. Commit to stopping these assumptions, and if you think there’s a certain motivation behind a question or comment, at least ask. That'll help you get on a path to better communication, which can help turn an unhappy marriage around.

4. Set rules for the relationship.

Mutual respect and trust are necessary for a happy marriage, and if those two things have been lost, you’ll need to find them again. “Couples get into ways of interacting with each other and they don’t question it. They keep doing it,” says Torres-Gregory.

To minimize snapping and destructive comments, draw up some rules of the relationship when it comes to communication. “When you love and respect your partner, there are things you shouldn’t do or say,” she says. For instance, when you fight in the future, promise not to swear at each other or resort to name-calling. Again, the more constructive communication you can have, the better your chances of working through underlying issues.

5. Make a weekly date.

You two need to play together—ya know, like the old days. Go out once or twice a week for a date where you don’t discuss problems (or kids, if you have them). “Go back to the basics. What did you do before you were married that you’re not doing now? What did you do when you first fell in love?” says Bonnie Eaker Weil, PhD, a couples therapist in New York City and author of Make Up, Don’t Break Up: Finding and Keeping Love for Singles and Couples.

If the answer is playing mini-golf, bowl, or meet at a trendy bar for trendy drinks, well then, you’ve got your next date planned already.

6. Touch often.

I'm not even talking about sex here. “Hold hands when you’re walking down the street. Give each other a 20-second hug. Kiss each other hello. Dance cheek-to-cheek. Look into each other’s eyes for 30 seconds before you go to bed,” suggests Eaker Weil.

These simple exercises help deliver a rush of pleasure and bonding hormones (like oxytocin) to bring back the intimacy that you may be lacking now, she explains.

7. Show appreciation.

“I want you to have an affair with your partner,” says Eaker Weil. Say what now? Yep, Eaker Weil says that one of the best ways to save your marriage is to treat them like you can't get enough of them. (Even if, tbh, right now you can.)

That starts with expressing gratitude and appreciation of the other person: Gush over their new haircut, text them that you can’t wait to see them later—all the things that people tend to say to each other when they’re in the throes of romance. Sometimes you have to fake it till you make it, but starting a flame does build a fire.

8. Fight fair.

Real talk: You’re not going to just wave your hand like a wand to make sometimes years-deep pent-up resentment disappear. But that's okay.

In this exercise from Eaker Weil, your task is to make an "appointment" with your partner that’s limited in duration. (Tuesday from 7:30 to 8, for instance.) During this time, you fight fairly. You’ll start by telling them why you’re angry or what grudge you’re holding onto. Finish by asking them for a change. For example: “I feel like you never make time for me. All of your free time is dedicated to playing golf/going out with the guys/holing up in your home office. I want you to make time for me every week, even if it’s for 10 minutes.”

Your partner then follows up with something they’re resentful about; you just have to promise you’re not going to get angry, hurt, or reactive as they express themselves to you. To help make that happen, she recommends imagining that you’re holding their anger in a container as they speak (so that it's something you observe, not attack).

9. Envision the future.

Some of the main ingredients in a loving and healthy marriage are shared values, dreams, and life goals, says Torres-Gregory. Sit down and talk about your vision of a future together and how you’ll support each other, she says—it's an important and ongoing topic long after you've walked down the aisle or even had children.

If that seems impossible to see now and you can’t or don’t want to have that conversation, consider couples counseling. “A professional can help you start building that trust and goodwill again so that these conversations can happen more organically at home,” she says.

10. Try a Hail Mary.

Let's say you want to save your marriage, but your partner doesn’t. (Sorry.) Eaker Weil suggests taking a planned, structured break. “This isn’t coming from a place of being nasty. It’s saying, ‘I want to save our marriage, but I see you don’t feel the same way. Let’s take some time apart,'” she says. This could be for just one night, but four to six weeks is the usual amount of time that gives the partner “a kick in the ass,” says Eaker Weil.

“It’s not a punishment. It’s a wake-up.” No calling, no texting, and no sex for the entire time—the point is to make your partner miss you.

And if they don't? Well, counseling is always a good idea—as is re-evaluating whether your life partner is living up to their vows. The hard truth is that some marriages aren't meant to be saved–but that's up to you to decide when you're ready.

[samwise-though]

Sabrina’s Top Ten

This is a little bit (a lot bit) out of my blog’s wheelhouse, but I ask you guys to bear with me! For one of my seminars, I have to do a Top Ten project, in which I talk about ten different things relating to Pop culture, music and/or theory. So, if you don’t want to read this, that’s fine! I’m putting the bulk of the post under the cut!! This is basically just me commenting on how weird pop culture is, and fangirling about Taylor Swift.

(Sorry Dr. Burke, you’re absolutely going to have to read about Taylor Swift, and I am realizing that after Adorno I’m incredibly cynical about popular culture now)

#1: Taylor Swift: Archive, Collecting and Identity

I think as I began this year, there was this feeling of necessity to blast off with the song “22” from @taylorswift​’s album Red. All the way back in 2012 little fifteen-year-old Sabrina knew that when she turned 22, she would be playing that song All. Day. Long. 

Here’s the thing though: while yes, I did listen to “22” more than any of the other songs on Red that day, I also spent a lot of time listening to the rest of the album as well. I came to the realization that I could identify with the album better than ever. There was something so profound about the way @taylorswift​​ captured that moment in time, in her life, and have it still remain so relatable. I spent a long time considering this, but it wasn’t until I encountered Jean Baudrillard’s The System of Objects that I really began to find a way in which to understand what was happening for me (and undoubtedly many others, considering Swift’s success). In chapter two: “A Marginal System: Collecting” Baudrillard references Maurice Rheims’ ideas of collecting for children, “For children, collecting is a rudimentary way of mastering the outside world, of arranging, classifying and manipulating”. Ultimately, collecting is a way in which we learn to form identity - and what is an album, if not literally a collection of music that in and of itself acts as an ultimate tool of identity construction? I’ve been listening to @taylorswift​​’s music since her official 2006 debut. That is a lot of time spent self-identifying with a musician and her music. Constructing even part of your identity from something that is a collection that is very much a large part of someone else’s identity is such a weird concept. Why do we do that? 

Even more interesting though, is the fact that Taylor has said on multiple occasions, that her albums are like diary entries (not to mention the great number of other people drawing that particular comparison). Thus making each album that she has released up until this point a small archive, collecting and ordering that point in time. Either way, @taylorswift​​ continues to find success in creating archival collections that are reflective or refractive of her own identity.

With the release of Lover and the inclusion of her diary entries as an addition to the deluxe versions of the record, it follows in the history of including controlled snippets of her life in the physical copies of her albums. From the first five albums, she included secret coded messages within the lyrics of each of the songs. In 1989, Taylor included copies of polaroids with lyrics written across the bottom of them, each numbered - so you knew you got certain ones, and not others. As well, starting from 1989 @taylorswift​​ has also included voice memo recordings from her writing and recording sessions, so that fans can have a better understanding of her creative process. 

All of these details add to the personal feeling that @taylorswift​‘s albums seem to emanate. This feeling is only magnified through the additions of the diary entries in Lover (deluxe). Each album is a carefully constructed archive of @taylorswift​‘s life, that her fans then go on to add to their own ‘Taylor Swift collections’ and continue to alter their identities through the new piece of the collection that she has created.

#2: The Reproducibility of Childhood

If there is anything in recent memory that should be considered with Benjamin and mass-reproducibility in mind, Disney and the company’s capitalizing on re-making all of their old animated films should be discussed.

They did this really clever marketing tactic in which they pretty much re-do the original trailer they released for the original movie, shot-for-shot with the new film footage:

I will admit it didn’t work quite as well with the 2015 version of Cinderella, in which they altered a greater amount of the story, as compared to The Beauty and the Beast. Obviously, the trailer that has found the most success thus far with this tactic, was the most recent release of The Lion King.

What is the most intriguing thing is that Disney is embracing the past iterations of the movie, basically just repackaging the old story in (for most of the movies) live-action acting rather than animation and selling the audience very nearly the same exact thing. And not only are they very blatantly reselling the masses the same thing, but they are also saying, with these side-by-side trailer comparisons that “hey, look, we're doing this thing exactly the same way” and without question, we buy into it because it is familiar and feels of childhood. Having read Adorno’s Culture Industry Reconsidered, I feel as though we should really be taking a moment to question why we are allowing Disney to amass so much capital from movies that we have already seen. By drawing on our cultural memory of these movies that were so fundamental to many children in Western society growing up, Disney is literally monetizing our childhood memories. It is just as Adorno says, “The culture industry fuses the old and familiar into a new quality.”

While these movies get a shiny new paint job, it is still blatantly the old and familiar.

But I guess Disney has always been about capitalizing on memory.

#3: The ‘Classics’ and Aura

I have spent a lot of time over the past year, shaping my identity. I made a lot of life-changing decisions, one of which was to go to grad school. It was not a quick decision, and it more or less happened over the span of a year, during an English course I took. The class was a lecture on Victorian and Edwardian literature. I found myself really fascinated by the Victorian novels that we started the class with. When we got to Thomas Hardy’s Tess of the d’Urbervilles I was a goner.

I fell in love with Hardy’s story and my love for the Victorian and 19th-century studies only solidified further throughout the semester. However, my entire experience at the university has been plagued with serious imposter syndrome. Thoughts of how “I don’t belong here,” and that “I don’t really know what I am talking about” were the soundtrack playing in my head every single day. I was always worrying that I had grossly misunderstood the texts we were studying, my interpretations were wrong, and that I would make myself look like a fool. All of these feelings, when analyzed at a later time, were all rooted in the idea that we were studying ”The Classics,” narratives that were part of the Western Literature Canon. How could I possibly understand literature that was considered “Great”?

There is a constructed aura around the literary canon that is also extended to the place in which that canon is taught. A very elitist feeling that has been cultivated since the beginning of higher education. For me, when making the decision to continue my university education by taking the leap to apply for Grad schools, this aura only grew - to the point in which it almost feels that it will be impossible for me to get into a graduate program. It feels as though Graduate programs are meant for a specific group of people - and somehow I am evaluating myself to not fit into that group. 

But what exactly is it that still continues to be such a fundamental influence over the population that University is considered elite, and those narratives should be the ones to makeup Western Literary Canon? Is the legacy of Colonialism still so etched into our ideas that we literally still believe that the novels that a bunch of white dudes agreed were good are the be-all-and-end-all of good literature?

What’s bothersome about this is, I didn’t get to start asking those sorts of questions, and experiencing a wider array of literature until I reached my upper-level seminar courses, for my honours degree. 

Courses that you cannot take unless you are a part of the honours program.

Ironic isn’t it? The elitist aura can only be questioned from well within the elitist institution.

#4: The Avengers: [Streaming]Game

Marvel’s first cycle has now come to an end with Avengers: Endgame. It’s odd to think just how emotionally attached the fans (myself included) have become to the superheroes that, many of which will not be returning after this installment in the Avengers franchise.

(Loki Gif included because bae deserved better - and a TV show that I have to pay for absolutely does not make up for it)

Marvel is now going to capitalize on certain character deaths (see above), by giving them TV series and prequel movies to help entice the masses that have been so invested in their stories up to this point in the cinematic universe. The problem is, though, any character receiving a show, it will only be aired on the Disney + streaming service.

The Disney + streaming service comes long after Netflix, Hulu, Amazon Prime and other streaming services have already established themselves. The issue that arises out of this system of individual streaming platforms, is that subscribers have to either subscribe to every new platform that arises or else to pick an choose which content they are willing to not have access to. It's a ridiculous system, and it will make it nearly impossible to have conversations with those around you because it should be a safe assumption at this point - ad if not now, certainly in the near future, that no, they probably haven’t watched it, because they don’t have access to it. 

This is obviously just a new way to control the products that companies produce. But it also brings to mind Benjamin and his ideas regarding mass production (”Work of Art”). Has the aura of the film been diminished because of the sort of re-producibility that come out of easy access (watching it any time you want), or, has there been a new mutated aura created for these films and tv shows because of the lack of access people may have to multiple platforms?

I guess we got what we wanted, easier way to access the tv shows and the movies we love, but at the cost of having to choose where we are willing to spend our money. It's a very Adornian thought, in that we wanted something, it was produced to the best possible economic value for the companies creating them, and then we continue to buy into the product. 

#5: Sparknotes and Memes

If you have a twitter account, and like literature, you should really check out SparkNotes’ twitter account.

They have become more and more popular over the last few years due to their use of the relatable internet language we know as memes. They, of course, are not the first company to engage with their users in such a way, many companies have been using social media to brand themselves in a very personable (and personified) way.

By doing this, they are making themselves appear more accessible to today’s youth, who are primarily influenced by what they see and interact with on the internet. 

There is something less sinister about SparkNotes utilizing the internet and memes to direct themselves to the younger audience - they are after all an educational aid group in which they are providing texts in more manageable and understandable terms. 

Other companies, however, like fast-food restaurants who utilize social media as though they are an individual rather than a company... That is quite a bit more insidious. 

 #6: Concert Movies

I want to return to music once again. But not in the traditional sense. I want to discuss concert movies.

There is something so weird about concert movies! They seem to exist in a separate space from actually attending a concert with live music and listening to the album. There is something very artificial in the sense that most of the time it feels very engineered, because of camera cuts and camera changes, and the difference in going from a front-row perspective to the camera shot cutting away to a wide shot so that the stadium is in full view. But then it also fulfils its purpose as “live music”. There is this sense in which it feels like you can’t look away, in case you miss something, even though you can pause it! 

It is a heavily controlled, or perhaps, curated experience. Realistically, there are so many different cameras that are recording the same moments, that in post-production they are able to choose the best possible moments to cut together to provide to the viewers (I avoid the word audience here, because there is, in fact, a physical audience that we as viewers of the movie, are separated from). 

I looked into the history of concert movies, and a quick google search led me to Pink Floyd: Live at Pompeii a concert movie in which Pink Floyd played a short set of songs to no audience and recorded it.

Which is an odd concept, especially when you think about how it inspired other artists to film concerts. 

That they played. 

To no one.

I could see with Pink Floyd it being more of an artistic venture, but more recent concert movies like: Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience, Reputation Stadium Tour and Justin Timberlake + the Tennessee Kids all are more framed as giving the viewers the opportunity to experience the show, but still having them remain apart from it. Some of these concert movies feel as though they were produced to allow those who did not have the opportunity to attend the show in person the chance to experience what that might have been like, others are made with the intent to give the viewer a little bit more of the backstage/behind the scenes experience. What all of them have in common, however, is the opportunity for the artists to profit once again off of the shows that they have already played. 

Whatever the purpose is behind the movies being produced, they all are this weird experience of not-actually-being-there and knowing exactly what it would have been like to have attended. 

#7: Instagram: Curating the Self (Definitely inspired by Sophia’s Presentation) 

The Instagrams of popular artists are heavily curated to really emphasize their brands (”that’s very on-brand for you”), and who they are trying to portray themselves as. I feel as though no one really does this better than @taylorswift​. 

Shortly before she released reputation she wiped her Insta clean and started sharing gifs of different parts of a snake - a motif that she fully embraced for that particular era in her career. It was a practice she embraced again, leading up to the release of the first single of Lover. While she didn’t wipe her Instagram clean again, she did lead up to the release with little hints and teaser images that were all very inspired by the colour scheme and feel of the new album:

If you look at any artist’s Insta account you will find at least some of this curatorial work.

This brings us once again, back to the class on collecting, archiving and how collecting plays into identity construction. Each artist is curating their identity that they want to show the world (not unlike the discussion that we had involving Lana Del Rey and the front that she presents to the world, instead of her true self).

The work that goes into the Instagram account is mirrored in every public appearance, every show they play, and every interview they give. It is an odd concept when considering it in regards to the artist, but it becomes even weirder when we consider it in terms of just everyday people. We curate our lives on social media platforms to present ourselves in the best way possible. And we don’t have millions of people watching us while we do. Perhaps the hope is that the ideal that we portray could someday be reached, and that's why we continue to collect the images and videos to construct the ideal identity for ourselves.

While my life certainly isn’t very glamorous, I definitely do at least some curatorial work on my own Insta.

#8: Nostalgic Television

There has been a resurgence in the love of some older series like Friends and Gilmore Girls through the access to the full series on streaming platforms. Some of these shows have not aged very well (see: a good deal of Friends’ jokes), but the love for them continues anyway. 

Recently, tv shows such as those named above, have been branded as “nostalgic television” and has been slated to be psychologically beneficial to help with anxiety. 

But why do we remain so attached to TV shows such as these? Well, supposedly, just like the way we are drawn to watching the remakes of Disney’s movies as I mentioned earlier, it reminds us of our childhoods:

Will Meyerhofer, a New York-based psychotherapist and author, says watching our favourite old shows can be a useful tool for dealing with anxiety and mild depression.

"For my clients, these old shows are like the food they grew up with. 'The Brady Bunch' or 'The Facts of Life' or 'The Jeffersons' is like that beloved baloney sandwich on Wonder Bread with just enough mayo the way mom used to make,” he told TODAY.

 A recent Facebook post on The Mighty health community got hundreds of responses to the question: "What TV show from your childhood would you want to marathon-watch on a bad flare day?" The answers ranged from "The Waltons" to "Barney Miller."

That's because television from yesteryear can make us feel safe and secure in a world that feels increasingly chaotic.

“In therapy terms, it's an instant — and for the most part healthy — regression in the service of the ego,” Meyerhofer said, adding that he unwinds with old episodes of "Star Trek: The Next Generation.”

We long for a time when we felt safer, less stressed and when we were able to really enjoy the things we liked. TV shows that we watched as we were growing up provide us with the nostalgic fulfillment that we need to feel happy - even if it is just for the length of a thirty-minute Friends episode.

#9: Screen TIme 

 Something I noticed when I was watching Reputation Stadium Tour... for research... there was very few people who were actually just watching the show. There were many screens visible in the crowd at all times. 

Something that has become very prevalent in concert culture, is that you don’t actually experience the concert first hand, you view it through your phone screen, as you record. 

It is something that I have noticed myself doing, and have set the limitation of only allowing myself to record two songs out of the entire concert.

By viewing the concert through the recording, the actual experience of the concert is altered, and even though you are standing there in the room, you are participating at a distance, rather than being involved in the moment.

The need to record and to photograph, I would argue, comes out of the feeling of necessity to archive and sort every memory that we have. Concerts are special occasions and we don’t want to forget them - and if we don’t have a video or photo, did it really happen? We need to archive every moment so that we can go back to it later and remember how great it was. 

But how great was it really if you were staring at your phone screen the entire time?

#10: The Rise of KPop in Canada and the US

There seems to have been a shift lately in Western popular culture in which Kpop (Korean Popular Music) is now being considered more mainstream.

Groups like BTS have found success on Western pop charts, their collaboration with Halsey, Boy with Luv, peaked at #10 on Billboard’s hot 100. Other Korean groups like Blackpink and Twice are also making a name for themselves on Western pop music charts.

What is interesting is that Kpop doesn’t really follow the same frame that most of the Western pop does. A lot of Kpop seems to be more dance-influenced, thus influencing the music stylistically and opening a lot more interesting opportunities for music videos.

Kpop is something different and separate from what Western Pop is comfortable with, and what influence it will have on the framework of the norm will be very interesting to see. I do wonder what Joshua Clover would have to say about Kpop groups and their involvement in popular music, and whether or not he would classify them in with the “Abject, feminized, and inauthentic: *NSYNC, Backstreet Boys, and Britney Spears...[who] dominate the list of best first-week sales”(103). There is, after all, something about the rhythm-based and often synthesized melodies that are prominent in Kpop that feels like a call-back to boy bands and pop stars of the late 90′s and early 00′s

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Well, that is it for my top ten! If you made it to the end, and are not my Prof [who does have to read it all the way to the end - Hi Dr. Burke! You made it! ] Thanks for reading!! 

[btalks]

idk who saw my initial post earlier today. i really reached my limit of dealing with the childish tantrums and shenanigans of some people in the community. one thing is them being immature and blocking me over nothing. another is the constant shading and lies on their blog.

imagine going on and on posting on your blog things shading me and deejay for being “toxic” and then twisting things around to make yourself look like a victim and make an alternative reality when you are literally mad over NOTHING. Perhaps re-evaluate your damn actions. And quit trying to be a victim of nothing for the sake of getting pity and looking cool with the shading. since you:

lash out about people not prioritizing you over their significant others

want to control who your friends are friends with

feel entitled to people’s attention and being their priority otherwise they’re “toxic”

throw a tantrum over two of your then friends sharing a blog you willingly left

continuously contacted me and then left if i was in a relationship because “you mention your gf too much” (not an actual quote. luckily for you, i have lost that conversation)

sent a slightly explicit photo to me without my consent (which i wasn’t too bothered by but that IS something you shouldn’t just do. yet you wanna call me toxic and shade me cause i joined a blog)

only ever come around to try to finally win me over and get me interested in you and any time i would mention having a gf or it seemed like i’m not looking for anything serious when you flirt or get sexual, you drop me. what a good healthy friendship.

stay pissed after 5 years for feeling second to my then girlfriend. which, is just logical and nobody with common sense would be so pissed after so many years about that. of course my girlfriend came first over an online friend i had known for so little time

stay passive aggressive about that now ex still and apparently that’s a reason to drop me still and to still hold against me after half a decade

even after i apologized because, yeah, i would sometimes ignore you and that wasn’t cool, neither was my teasing when you’d take it seriously (which i never knew because you never told me only like last month when you again, dropped me for this bs that happened half a decade ago), you still lash out at me and label me toxic for no real reason

dropped me again because i joined a blog with deejay and that made me “unloyal” despite the fact i have been friends with her for as long as i have known you. but what a betrayal... i replaced you in a blog you decided to leave.

blocked me only to check on my instagram stories while also shading me and deejay constantly and still not apologizing for the overreaction but instead making it seem like we are the bad guys here

continuously sent us anons about yourself to the point of extreme annoyance (also it was too obvious pls) instead of being an adult and talking to us, as i tried to do when you first got mad

contacted me because of my romantic life and the anons’ assumption that deejay and i might be dating. because again, i am the toxic one, yet you only contact me to try and be sexual or try to get me to be into you. in this case, because you were again, bothered enough about my romantic life to come back only to get details on it. guess that might have hit a nerve. i’’m sorry but that just shows that maybe i had a point pushing you aside years ago because you can’t be a real friend. you have to hold on to all this nonsense of my romantic life as if it affects you and seem to only be interested in me in that context so how am i toxic for not paying too much attention to someone like that?

got mad when i wouldn’t give you an answer and blocked me yet again only to go and twist shit around pretending i was the one to contact you and that i was pissed cause you cut me out???? where? is this the version you tell your gf and friends?

stopped talking to me and blocked me after acting like a child and throwing a temper tantrum over a damn BLOG, then contacted me asking about my romantic life as if nothing had happened, this after shading me multiple times and acting like you’re in the right in whatever alternative reality your brain lives in. then lied about it on your blog yet again, and continue to do so apparently.

YIKES

we have been respectful enough not to call you out on rpslayed so don’t go around running your damn mouth with lies and made up nonsense to make yourself look pitiful to your friends. and don’t go around accusing people of being toxic when you are the one with clear issues who can’t act her damn age. if i wanted to deal with children, i would either babysit or have kids of my own. grow up and talk to us like the adult you should be at this age or shut your mouth, move on and stop spreading lies.

hope your friends know you’re full of shit and whatever version of events you have been sharing, is filled with lies.

[f-l-writes]

Lies

Warnings: Swearing, cheating accusations

Probably some typos, I rarely proofread and tend to just re-read once the story is posted to fix it. 

Word Count: 1.8K

Genre: Angst and Fluff

Requested: @taeyoapple / @sxngminhx

Hope you enjoy and feel free to request!

You let out a sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose. Looking up, you were faced with the sad, dark eyes of the beautiful man who sat across from you at the cafe table.

“Dong Min,” you began, your eyes scanning his with a hint of hurt betrayal buried deep inside of them. “I didn’t cheat on you. Much less with your groupmate. You’ve known me for years, so why would you make that assumption?”

Dong Min, at the strike of noon, had texted you, calling you to the cafe that was near Fantagio. When you arrived, he was already sat down, his eyes focused intensely on his phone and a vein in his neck popping out.

He’s angry about something… You had thought to yourself upon seeing the vein. You had then taken care to approach, your mind reeling over a thousand and one things he could have been angry about. One thing that never crossed your mind, however, was cheating. After all, why would it? You hadn’t cheated on him, so it wasn’t a concern. When he brought it up, though, you were shocked.

“What do you mean cheating?” you had questioned him, narrowing your eyes at him as angry began to boil in your stomach.

“I said what I meant,” he replied. “Are you or are you not cheating on me?” his voice was quiet, but furious. It was an anger that scared you to the core.

You had seen him angry before but it was never this quiet anger. It was always a burst of frustration and it was never at you. It was always at someone else and he was just venting to you. Now, with you in the spotlight of his anger, you felt afraid. Not afraid that he would hurt you, especially not in a public setting, but scared he would leave you.

Dong Min had been everything you ever wanted in a man and more. He was the epitome of perfect in your eyes and you would do everything you could to keep him as yours. You couldn’t even imagine what it would be like to live without him, he had been such a large part of your life.

Now, however, your were faced with the crumbling reality of he could leave me right now for something I didn’t do.

“Of course not, Dong Min! Why the hell would I ever do that? Especially to you? You know I love you!”

That’s when he brought out the messages. Messages you never sent yet were there clear as day.

“Explain these then.”

Your eyes scanned the messages that were supposedly from you to Bin. None of them were sexual, but they were flirty. Much of it was you supposedly calling Bin “babe” and “sweetheart” and things along those lines. It was plans for dates and how you couldn’t see him because you were going on a date with Dong Min that day.

As you read the messages, the anger in your gut grew. “You really think I would send this to Bin? I hardly talk to him! I’ve never even properly had a conversation with him, Dong Min! You are my boyfriend, not him! I love you, not him!” you knew you were causing a scene, but you couldn’t help it. He was accusing you of something you would never, in a million years, do to him.

“Then what the fuck do you expect me to believe? That these are fake? That he just used an app to create these?”

“Exactly, Lee Dong Min! Cause I never wrote those things to him! You know I would never write those things to him, Dong Min,” suddenly your voice dropped and you were biting back on frustrated and angry tears. “I can’t believe you would accuse me of cheating on you. Do you really think I’m that horrible of a person that I would go behind your back?” You didn’t understand. It didn’t click and you were getting increasingly infuriated and disappointed at the same time.

“I don’t know, Y/N! I don’t know because even when we were just friends, you would always keep secrets from me! You never told me things that you should have! You avoided telling me important things! So, no, I don’t know if you’re telling me the truth after all the shit you pulled years ago!”

“That was years ago, Dong Min! I haven’t lied to you in years! And the only reason I lied to you then was because I knew you would get angry like this! I knew it and I wanted to avoid it!” You raised your voice again, anger taking over despite the tears that were now streaming down your face.

“I can’t do this anymore.” those five words sent a shock through your entire being. “I just can’t. I’m done. I’m done with you. I’m done with this relationship. I don’t want you around the dorm and I don’t want you around my friends. I want you gone.” his voice was quiet, his eyes refusing to meet yours.

“You can’t stop me from meeting up with the boys, Dong Min. No matter what, they’re still my friends. You don't control who they meet up with or who I meet up with.” your tone was cold, bitter. You were fighting back the sadness that threatened to close your throat and suffocate you. Inside, your heart was breaking I'm a thousand different places and it felt like your chest was being shredded with the claws of monster. You hated it. But what were you to do? If this was his final decision, then you had no reason to fight him anymore.

Just as you moved to stand, the door to the café slammed open and in stormed Jin Woo, pulling Bin by the arm over to where you and Dong Min sat. You'd never seen Him Woo truly angry. Usually it was just playful and teasing or extremely contained, but this was pure and unbridled anger. He was furious.

“You tell them what the fuck you did now or so help me God I will beat the shit out of you when we get back to the dorms, Moon Bin.” Jin Woo's voice was low as to not pull any further attention to the table (despite having most of the cafe's attention as is).

Bin scoffed at the shorter black-haired man, his dark brown eyes focusing on the ceiling for a moment before he looked back to Dong Min, a devilish grin growing on his face. “I didn't really think you would fall for it, Dong Min,” he chuckled. “Seriously, I hardly talk to them. I won't say I wouldn't mind-” Jin Woo delivered a slap to the back of the male's head, causing him to swear quietly before putting his focus back in the two at the table.

“Fine, if it's such a big deal, I'm sorry. I didn't think you would think they were real. I figured your logic would win over your feelings and you would know we don't talk much. I just wanted to see how you would react.”

Dong Min stood, his eyes burning darkly with an anger you hoped was never focused on you. “I just broke up with them because of your little “prank” Moon Bin! What the fuck were you thinking when you made these, huh? Are you that thick that you couldn't see possible consequences?” he snapped.

“Not my fault you don't trust them more. If you're going to let little fake chats get in the way of things, then you need to evaluate just how much you actually trust them. Cause to me, it doesn't seem like you trust them a lot, Dong Min.” with that, the dark haired boy stormed out of the cafe, deciding to leave before any more problems could arise.

Jin Woo stayed behind, his eyes softening from a rage to a concern as he saw your tear-stained face. He pulled you into a hug, rubbing your back softly as he spoke to Dong Min.

“Please reconsider breaking up with them, Dong Min. They didn’t do anything wrong. It wasn’t their fault.”

You couldn’t see it, but Dong Min was slumped down in his chair, hands tugging lightly at his hair. His forehead was creased in frustration and stress and his eyes were red with unshed tears. You could hear him murmuring something to himself but you couldn’t hear what. When you were finally released from Jin Woo’s grasp and saw the wrecked state of Dong Min, you could have sworn you felt your heart crumble more than it already had. Carefully, you wandered over to him, kneeling beside the man. Now, you could hear what was being said and, if it was possible, your heart shattered even more.

“I’m so fucking stupid. Why would I ever believe him over her. What is wrong with me?”

Tentatively, you wrapped your arms around the man, holding him tighter than you ever had before. Your head rested comfortably against his abdomen and you wanted nothing more than to take away his negative feelings and replace them with happiness.

“There’s nothing wrong with you, Dong Min. We were both stupid,” you commented, your voice muffled slightly by your cheek being pressed in by his abdomen.

While you would have moved to speak more clearly, he was holding you in a vice grip. You couldn’t say you were against it. Of course you couldn’t. This is what you wanted. To make up and carry on with your relationship. Your heart still ached at the thought of his words from earlier, but you knew he said it out of spite. Out of frustration. You knew he didn’t mean it, especially now that he knew the truth.

“I’m so sorry for believing him over you,” he stated quietly, his slender fingers now running through your hair carefully. “I should have guessed there was something wrong and I should have been more willing to hear what you had to say.”

“It’s fine, Dong Min. Just please… If you’re unsure about something, please just be civil and I’ll tell you the truth. And next time, let’s not bring it to the cafe. Now all these people know our business,” you were half-joking, glad that the whole ordeal was done and over with.

Hearing Jin Woo excuse himself from behind the two of you, you only gave a noise of acknowledgement before pulling away from Dong Min. “Why don’t we head out and go to a park? We could use the air.”

He nodded, his eyes now clear of the irritated red that had resided there only moments before and, despite the mussed hair his hands had caused, he looked calm again. He looked happier.

“Let’s get a move on, then, Y/N,” he stated, showing you the beautiful smile that you had loved since the moment you met him.

You smiled back, standing up and, once you had paid and apologized to everyone for disrupting their morning, the two of your were on your way.

[autoirishlitdiscourses]

Discourse of Thursday, 31 December 2020

Because I will be here is that I'm speaking from experience here. I think. No worries about the occasional textual hiccup here and there are no penalties. I am not qualified to evaluate how passionate a particular time Wednesday afternoon that works for you: the minimum enrollment for the quarter, you can receive, regardless of their accustomed path. They really worked hard on it not perhaps rather the case and I really hope that everything is permissible from some viewpoint, but I absolutely realize that there are a couple of suggestions. Well done. Thanks for doing a very good students this quarter, too. I'll put you down for McCabe. Group-generated midterm review session. Sorry for the compliments. Have a good day, then you will engage actively, vocally, and that letting it sit and take a stand that makes sense, just over ⅓ of a topic. Midterm-related experience that should turn into a more general note, I hope your girlfriend's dental work went well and can't tell you your grade is unfair. Come to section and leave it at the end of paragraphs. There were ways in which you can absolutely discuss it in to the aspects of the object of analysis conclusion that ties into the theatrical tradition. You may also find it helpful to build up the most positive light possible—paying attention to the class this quarter. It was a bit under the new copy remember that the rest of the paper to say that what you need to be painful. Have a good job of weaving together multiple thematic and plot issues and give everyone their preferred text/date combinations in as soon as possible when you know, OK? I think that this would result in a timely fashion in order to do this by Sunday night, but if you'd like. Stoddard, O'Casey Chu, Synge O'Casey 4. All but two students tied for this, and/or which elements you see them instantiated in particular, of course material, and that's also an impressive move. 5% or higher. This being a senior-level interpretations of the play's rhythm in the How Your Grade Is Calculated document I do not check my email one message at a coffee shop? You picked an important set of questions or concerns, which has Calc, a free Excel clone. 116, p. Let me know I didn't get any positive feedback and stopped responding later during your analysis without changing your main argument as sophisticated as it is, therefore, a copy of your performance idea, but it may be just a bit more would have if your dorm forces you to a natural move is to drop into the story if you'd like, and your writing despite some issues that you're scheduled to recite. Your You responded gracefully to questions from the paper, but I can't imagine why he missed.

Hi! Making a wise textual selection. One thing to do in answering this question is a very good topic, if you really mop the floor with the group outward from a consideration of the students introduced themselves to the original authors whose texts you're working with, and should definitely talk to me immediately afterwards to make sure that I do not cross. Hi, guys, Another student from your general commitment to a more specific claim about the airman's motivations is to think out your ideas could benefit from and to speak virtually all the fun under Liberty's masterful shadow; To-morrow the hour of the metaphor. Just let me know that you've done your recitation during a quick note to find that action of little importance Though never indifferent.

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Your message got buried under a bunch of old people who wind up attending section on Wednesday from 6:00 after all, Bloom discusses the funeral often enough that I think that it would help you make in your section takes a directly historical perspective on your grade up substantially. Hi! If we're getting in Nausicaa and The Great Masturbator 1929, I estimate that I think, too, but it should serve the overall goal is in many places where pauses in the meantime, you might notice Bloom's interest in readymades and in section prepared to discuss how future papers can better succeed in constructing an argument.

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Let me know. Twelve-page paragraph or the professor has decided to use the texts you want to mislead anyone. Here's a breakdown on how you can carry yourself, and most are getting full credit for what will be much more prepared for the quarter, and perhaps other poems. In the third paragraph of the guinea actually fluctuated a fair amount over its history, and went above and beyond the length requirements. You need to go is also impressive. Have a good knowledge of the text exactly right down to thanking the previous group had done in all, though. Try thinking about your delivery, and I will be. If you have scheduled a recitation and thinking about how things are changing not in too much, in-text, though I haven't graded yours yet, and I quite enjoyed having you in lecture worked really hard to get through emails as quickly as possible. Ultimately, what I'd like to dispute it, but if it's the first six minutes of your analysis more: I think. Hi! The Emigrant Irish aloud near the end of the ideas of others to be one way to think about this in any way. How to Read James Joyce's Ulysses: discussion of Vladimir's speech On McCabe's The Butcher Boy is Y, then you have in class. If you have a fantastic document/outline/explanation of why you were concerned about your future writing.

Teaching Assistant: Course Requirements: Punctual, attentive reading. I think that there are places where you want to view their introductory video to see the world will know in advance, and mechanics, and you related it well to the group may help you with comments at the beginning of section totally OK, and/or classes yet. In Conclusion.

[franeridart]

Hey! I wanted to ask something that has been on my mind for a while. When ever i see your arts for the bakusquad i think "oh i wish i had people like that in my life" then i start to think wait what about deku? I kinda have been wondering what do you think about baku owning up to all the things he has done to deku? He has done horrible deku over the years which are unforgiveable and have shown to have a deep affect on deku?

That was something i have been wonder for awhile! Not trying to start an argument or anything! I really adore your art and everthing you do i was just wondering about your input on the matter? I hope you a greay day! (you don’t have to answer this)

I don’t mind the question one bit, so don’t worry about that! But… well, all this answer is gonna be under the assumption that you read the manga, because honestly I can’t answer it in a believable way leaving out all the character development that went on in it? So if you don’t read the manga, I’m sorry this is gonna be a bit spoilery

Firstly, and I’m absolutely not trying to justify what Bakugou has done to Deku back in the past, I’m mostly just trying to explain the things as they are in canon, you said that what Bakugou has done to Deku has left lasting effects, but which are exactly these effects? Bakugou was a dick, sure, and he said and did things to Deku no thirteen years old should be said/have done to, but Deku actually appears to have gotten over his past with Bakugou way faster than Bakugou did. Deku cuts his ties with what Bakugou did to him when he picks Deku as his hero name, reclaims his past for himself, lets all his friends and their love for him overshadow what Bakugou did with an easiness that speaks of an incredible strength of character

Actually, Deku stops letting Bakugou get to him the moment he meets All Might and finds a way to become a hero - from that point on Deku’s story is nearly completely detached from Bakugou, aside from when Bakugou himself, being unable to just get over his complex, pushes his way back into Deku’s life. Every single time there’s a confrontation between the two Deku has the high ground gained from his lack of resentment towards Bakugou - he’s got nothing to prove to him, because he doesn’t care about what he did to him or his opinions about him, and you see that since the first fight they have (Bakugou loses specifically because all he can see is Deku, while Deku keeps his mind on the goal from start to end and ignores his one-on-one with Bakugou, in the end, to make his team win) then later in the Sports Fest (Bakugou spends it all wanting a one on one with Deku, Deku pretty much drops out of the games without even glancing at Bakugou once) then during the End of Terms Exam (Bakugou can’t bring himself to cooperate and is ready to fail, Deku actually yells at him for it, he’s not scared of him, there’s no emotional scar left there, he literally tells him that the reason why they can’t ever talk - he wants communication - is because Bakugou just keeps on yelling always) and so on

Deku keeps growing and growing and growing, the Stain Arc and his training with Gran Torino, the Camp, The License Exam, all the while taking from Bakugou to reach his own goals, letting go of his admiration for him to pick from other people, constantly learning and bettering himself, and all the while Bakugou is stuck in the past, unable to improve or take steps forward, because he’s too busy looking at Deku grow. This reaches its culmination in the fight they have after the License Exam, you read the argument they have and Bakugou’s side is all “why are you better why are you stronger why am I always behind you why did All Might choose you” while Deku’s side is all “are you kidding me you utter imbecile I spent the last sixteen years of my life admiring you and you’re still stuck on the idea that I’m looking down on you!” - about that, Deku does say it, that he admires Bakugou more than he admires All Might. That he knows Bakugou’s the worst, but he’s also got all the qualities Deku can admire in a hero

Like, what Bakugou did to Deku before UA is pretty hard to forgive, but… Deku did forgive him already. And to be completely honest the way I see it Inko, who’s someone Deku loves and trusts and builds his life around, did way more permanent, visible damage to Deku’s self-esteem telling him since he was four that there was no way he could ever become a hero than Bakugou ever did. At least Bakugou was scared enough of falling behind Deku to never dismiss the possibility of him actually making it, somehow (he used to say stuff like “if you get into UA I’ll kill you”, which, let’s be real, is incredibly horrible - what the actual shit, Bakugou - but still doesn’t dismiss the fact that there is a chance of him making it as much as “I’m so sorry Izuku” repeated over and over again does)

So yeah while I don’t think what Bakugou did in the past is something people should just forget, I feel like Deku’s moved on pretty early on in the manga and the one actually suffering from it for big part of the story is Bakugou himself (which I’m pretty sure is part of his atonement for what he did)

As far as owning up to what he did goes, I… well, I don’t think we’re ever getting an I’m sorry out of him, so if for you his owning up to it equates to him apologizing, at least for now I don’t think there’s any possibility of it happening. But the story has been forcing Bakugou to re-evaluate Deku since day one, and he’s actually admitted he was at fault before, has actually voiced the possibility of Deku having been in the right since the start (”If your aspirations were so much better than mines, does it mean I’ve been wrong my whole life?”) - he’s told Deku (in a roundabout way) that he accepts him as All Might’s successor, and has offered actual advice for him to improve his fighting. And Bakugou, while he doesn’t outright apologize, never pretends that what he did never happened, or tries to push the blame on people when he knows it’s his fault (for example Aizawa asking who threw the first punch and Bakugou without a second to spare answering “I did”, 100% ready to take all the blame, doesn’t even try to justify himself) and all of this might not be enough for you, but it obviously is for Deku.

Like, you might think that Bakugou’s getting out of it too easily (I personally don’t see it, considering how much he’s been suffering, how nothing has gone his way ever, but some people might) but when you keep in mind Deku’s actual canon reactions to what Bakugou does, when you think about him perking up when he thinks Bakugou’s complimented him, when you think about him actually smiling when Bakugou does compliment him, getting 100% hype when Bakugou offers advice, it’s pretty obvious he’s completely over what Bakugou used to do to him and he’s ready to have a civil, friendly relationship with him

And, ah, there’s that too. It’s true that Bakugou used to be horrible to Deku, but the key word here is used to - he hasn’t acted that way once ever since he entered UA, he’s changing and growing, bettering himself. The fact itself that the squad would gather around him, offer their friendships and love him, support him, laugh with him, when they’re all such sweet and loving and good kids, is proof enough that he isn’t as bad as he used to be. The fact that Bakugou used to be a bully doesn’t change that he’s becoming better, that he’s trying to be better, and I don’t think the actions of a thirteen years old with an inferiority complex surrounded by adults that used to let him get away with being a complete asshole as if it were normal should decide whether, once that kid grows up and learns and changes, he should be allowed to have friends and be happy or not

And all in all I don’t think Deku cares. Like, why would he. As I said, I do have the very distinct feeling he’s grown out of Bakugou’s actions pretty fast, but even if some things had remained with him, does Deku really seem to you like the type of person to hold a grudge against Bakugou big enough that he would wish for him to stay alone forever, even though he’s actually growing up? Deku definitely doesn’t seem to mind Kirishima, even though it’s canon he knows that Bakugou and Kirishima are best friends, that he’s known about it since before even Bakugou and Kirishima themselves realized. I mean, this is the kid that’s nearly died thrice to save Bakugou’s life, why would he be against Bakugou having friends

Anyway tl;dr I guess the original question could have been boiled down to “considering what Bakugou used to do to Deku, is it fair for him to be happy now?” and my answer is yeah! Because he’s atoning for it! Because he hasn’t kept the behaviour up! Because Deku doesn’t actually seem to suffer any permanent damage from their shared past, but seems to actually like Bakugou himself! Because as long as Bakugou isn’t actively being a shit right now, as long as he’s changing his way of interacting with Deku so that it might actually be considered positive, as long as he keeps on walking the path to become a great hero with right morals and will to do good, his efforts to become a better person shouldn’t be overshadowed by what he did in the past when he still hadn’t had any chance to grow!

Bakugou’s plot is a beautiful one. A heartwrenching, complex, right one. A starts from the lowest of lows to reach the highest of highs one. And his being allowed to be happy with people that actually turn him into a better person is integral part of it, imho

[309nyeon]

[Pann] The Level of Hate that a Produce 101 Trainee is Currently Getting (Clean Version)

Source: 최근 까이고 있는 프로듀스 연습생을 향한 악플 클라스 (원글쓴이임) 크린버젼

This post got deleted again so I re-uploaded it again. I tried to censor the hate as nicely as possible, though it feels like covering the sky with your hands (t/n: not sure about this).  Apparently, it got deleted because it contains violence, curses, and slanderㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ Nate Pann, are you joking with me? All of the posts on Pann before were this badㅋㅋ Why were those posts acceptable, but my post which compiled all of the hate deleted? Ah, now you realize that it’s actually bad? Or did you not want people to know that you allowed those postsㅋㅋㅋ Though I’m sure my post got deleted because someone reported itㅋㅋ

Produce 101 is very trendy everywhere, which is why there’s a lot of talk about the trainees that appear on it as well. Recently, there’s a lot of interest(?) around Joo Haknyeon, a trainee who prepared Open Up, a concept evaluation stage.

He’s greedy even though he’s unskilled, he made mistakes onstage, he covered another trainee’s face onstage, etc etc. For all of these reasons, he’s getting hate. I can understand constructive criticism but the problem is that the hate has crossed a line and has become excessive..;;;

If you miss your dad so much, why don’t you just follow him? Why are you crying..

Just follow your dad.... the world’s air is wasted on you.

Just feel free to beat up the nuisance, pig bastard Joo Haknyeon

He’s ugly, untalented, and his personality’s trash. I was wondering why he was like that and it’s because he doesn’t have a dad.

His mom’s crying every night while having s** with pigs

t/n: Idk what the last two are saying. 

As you can see, the comments towards his parents are so bad it’s hard to read;;;; Joo Haknyeon’s dad passed away last year;;;; It’s not only that but there was also a clarification post on him supposedly covering another trainee’s face onstage but...

t/n: People were saying that he covered Yongguk’s face on purpose because he wanted more spotlight. Someone wrote up a clarification post on Pann to clear up this misunderstanding but it still got a lot of dislikes. Here’s a translation of the post (original). 

To sum it up, he was supposed to walk in front of that trainee to get to his ending position and the reason why he looked like he was covering the trainee’s face is because of the camera angle.

But all of the people who are just hating rather than giving constructive criticism completely ignore clarification posts like this. Look at all of the dislikes ㅋㅋ The post was only pointing out false assumptions and telling people to judge based on factsㅋㅋBut the haters responded with “the post is too long,” “so what?”, and “do you think that’s why he’s getting hate”

Haknyeon, you would just be better off working at a host bar. What are you even good at, you can’t even dance. Just give it up.

[+5, -0] What the hell... His chin is long and his stare is dirty but the Sangam fancamㅋㅋㅋ That fansite master (T/N: Aquamarine) is a con artist.

[+14, -2] I felt like Joo Haknyeon was acting like he was kind last week. At this point, he’s not even acting, he’s just straight-up evil.

I can’t even tell that he’s a face pick..; I can tell that Guanlin, Hyeongsub, and Jinyoung are all good-looking but they say that Haknyeon’s a face pick... they say that he has a refreshing charm and smells like hallabongs. He has a well-developed jaw and jutting chin so I’d at least accept it if they said he was a manly type instead of a refreshing type..;;

I’ve said this already but I can accept constructive criticism about his skills or greed. However, you hated on him for purposefully blocking a trainee’s face even though it wasn’t true. It doesn’t make any sense to me that he received hate and sexual harassment comments because of something that wasn’t true..

It’s not only Pann that’s like thisㅋㅋ Every online community has been attacking his looks and making terrible personal attacks to an excessive degree.

t/n: More here. They’re all just terrible comments about his face, body, skills, and personality. Comments about how they want to beat him up or nasty comments about his chin or shoulders. I don’t want to translate these anymore because they annoy tf out of me. 

I’ve said this before, but I think constructive criticism about his skills or greed is acceptable. But all of the personal attacks, sexual harassment, and hate comments about him purposefully covering another trainee’s face.. even though this isn’t true..ㅋㅋㅋYou might think this only happens on DC Gallery because there are a lot of weird kids on there. However, the hate comments come from DC Gallery, Twitter, Facebook, Pann, online cafes and communities, and comments under videos and articles. These hate comments are everywhere. 

I hope Haknyeon doesn’t search his name on the internet. The sexual harrassment and comments about his parents are too much..... It also seems like his agency is waiting for the right time (to sue).. I hope they accept the constructive criticism but deal with the sexual harassment, comments about his parents, and the like...

Overall: [+1124, -163]

---

1. [+422, -21] He used to smile constantly and proclaim that he’s Joo Haknyeon and point to his nametag to strangers, but now he doesn’t even smile and his expressions are dead whatever he does. What did he do that was so wrong? He’s not as skilled, yes, he expressed some greed, he made a mistake, but he quickly fixed his mistakes on M Countdown after being criticized. I was shocked that there were people bating their breath, waiting for him to make even one mistake on M Countdown. My heart hurt and I felt ashamed when people laughed mockingly and said that him being pushed around during the parts selection (t/n: not sure about this) was justified. His face was red and he couldn’t even hide how flustered he was. He’s only 19 years old. What kind of righteous, amazing life did you live that you’re so desperate to take him down? You need to stop it, for real. 

2. [+414, -20] I’m honestly worried for Joo Haknyeon’s mental health.. I’ve never seen anyone from a survival show receive this much hate. Every community online has been attacking his personality, his skills, and his face to excruciating detail. Now they’ll curse him whether he smiles or cries.. They shame his fans for liking him so all of his fans seem like they’re hiding (I have never seen anyone taking his side). It’s to the point where people will say that they pity the other trainees because of Haknyeon or that it’s because of Haknyeon that so and so got eliminated. He gets hate just for breathing.

I didn’t even want to go to school after fighting with someone from my class, but as soon as he turns on the internet, they’re all hating on him so proudly I bet he wants to leave Korea. I’m so, so worried.. If he doesn’t debut, will people forgive(?) him?

3. [+412, -16] Didn’t he smile and say that he’s never been loved so much at the beginning of the show....ㅋㅋㅋ Do you realize how cruel this system is? The kids first say please love me and then end up saying sorry and don’t hate me...The kids need to go to therapy, and all of the people attacking these young kids with hate comments have terrible personalities... I copy-pasted this best reply from beforeㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ I knew this would happen^^

4. [+67, -2] After watching yesterday’s episode, I could tell that he knew that he was lacking in skills, and they even edited out scenes where he was practicing by himself. I just feel so bad for this 19 year old kid. He gets hated on just for breathing.. Don’t all kids at this age have lots of bravado, ambition, and playfulness? Is this something that deserves this much hate? Let’s not even acknowledge the people who think they know everything about a person based on a show. They won’t even listen to reason.. Haknyeon, hang in there. 

5. [+67, -3] I’ve read this post several times already but I still can’t calm down. My hands and feet are trembling... I hope he’s never seen these hate comments...but he apparently looks at all of the comments...I’m really sorry, Haknyeon...I only wanted you to see pretty words.....ah....seriously.....Even though we’re the same human beings, these people are just so disappointing ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ

6. [+59, -1] I’m so sadㅠㅠ just as the haters say, if Haknyeon really didn’t put any effort, would he have been able to perform Open Up in three days? Yes, Haknyeon does lack skills, made some mistakes, and is a slow learner, but I’m wondering if a 19 year old kid really deserves this much hate. 

First Picture: When he was practicing by himself (during Right Round) Second Picture: He took detailed notes of Dongho’s advice on his singing. Third & Fourth Picture: He’s memorizing the lyrics during rest time. 

7. [+57, -0] The worst thing is that fans of higher-ranked trainees would say that he'd be a nuisance to their picks while fans of lower-ranked trainees would pick on him because they were threatened by him. On top of that, they even made him out to be some kind of outcast among the trainees and said that him being treated like an outcast was justified. There wasn’t anybody who didn’t curse Joo Haknyeon, online or offline. Did he really do something that terrible? I was shocked by how everyone was relentlessly hating on him. It’s not even a matter of him debuting or not anymore. I’m worried if he’ll even be able to return and start a new life after Produce 101. Why are you guys so determined to take him down? 

8. [+54, -1] If you’re human, at least have the decency to realize there are things you shouldn’t say. How can you hate on a kid who’s says he’s going to work hard when you haters would probably go through a mental breakdown if someone cursed you in real life? Do you have any right to act like this? He made a mistake? You’re just giving constructive criticism? He’s unlikeable? I can understand all of these, but this (t/n: referring to the post) is just character assassination. How is he supposed to live after this when he knows that are hundreds and thousands of people that hate and curse him to this extent? Let’s not be like this as human beings. I hope his agency sues these haters and they get what they deserveㅡㅡ

9. [+53, -1] I’m so angry I can’t sleep. I didn’t even hear Haknyeon’s voice in the sports day segment in last week’s episode. There are people saying that Mnet and Loen are on bad terms, and it’s definitely true (Cre.ker is a Loen subsidiary). Also, please stop making hate remarks about his personality. Even though he dropped from #10 to #18, he’s still a fragile kid who cried when they announced Yongguk was #21;;

(t/n: Haknyeon and Yongguk are close. They trained under the same agency together before, and Yongguk mentioned that he was close to Haknyeon in his Vapp live.)

10. [+47, -2] Whenever I see Joo Haknyeon, I’m reminded of Kim Sejung. I just feel somewhat sad for them because they both seem the type to smile by default. Whenever he makes a mistake, he smiles. Even though he was kicked out of Never, he smiled. When he was pushed around during the parts assignment for the final songs, he smiled even brighter. It just seems like he smiles to control his emotionsㅠㅠ This is something I felt since the first elimination round. By the way, I’m not a Haknyeon fan. My one pick is Hyeongsub.

11. [+46, -2] They really close their eyes and ears to everything

12. [+39, -2] Before this post, if we said that the hate was too much, they’d either shut us up by saying that 1) we’re Haknyeon’s fans or 2) that his actions deserves this much hate. Do you know what people said in response to the talk about Haknyeon being an outcast? They asked why the others would even like a guy like that. Do you like making out your faves to be bullies/bystanders and saying that Haknyeon deserves to be alienated? You’re all attacking him like you’re all just having a good time pissing on him. 

13. [+38, -5] You have to debut. So I can see all of the haters choke. 

14. [+34, -1] I’ve seen this post before but it got deleted.. why didn’t they delete all of the hate comments before then.. All of the haters will eventually get what they deserve... You’re being too much to a 19 year old kid. 

15. [+31, -0] The comments make me want to throw up. Haknyeon’s not my pick but I just feel so bad for Haknyeon and his fans. He really didn’t get any screentime in the beginning and all of his fans looked for him in the corners and edges of the show and they stuck through with it for weeks. But starting from the 6th episode, there were lots of people who began to say that it would have been better if he just didn’t get any screentime... There was also shots where you could see him practicing alone in the corner, but they don’t show any of that. When they showed scenes of the kids playing with each other and showed who was close to who, they didn’t show any cuts of Haknyeon. Even now, it’s hard to find even a strand of his hair in bts videosㅋㅋ Because of this, there are people who’s saying that he’s an outcast or whatever, but how would we know that when they don’t even show him.. I’ve been getting a weird feeling about this since before, but after watching last week’s broadcast, I’m certain that the PD doesn’t like him. He was completely cut out of the sports day segment and the trainee’s talk time. 

16. [+25, -0] I became a fan after seeing Haknyeon’s innocent, bright smile. These days, he doesn’t smile much, and when he’s smiling, he doesn’t even look like he’s smiling for real.. I’m sad because he’s not like how he was before. What makes me sadder is that he doesn’t express how he feels inside. I hate myself for thinking this, but I sometimes think it would have been better if he had received more PR training (he’s too innocent so he doesn’t know how to act on broadcast) or if he was a bit more sly and knew how to act accordingly to get more love from the viewers... I’m just very scared and worried that Haknyeon will change.. so please stop it with the hate. Just think of it as saving someone.. I just want to continue seeing Haknyeon’s bright smile that we saw at the beginning of the show.

17. [+25, -0] Haknyeon fans, don’t give up just because he’s #18. Vote even harder. The show doesn’t show any of Haknyeon’s relationships with the other boys so it makes sense that he dropped during 2-pick. It may have actually been a good thing. Now that I think about it carefully, they really didn’t show any of Haknyeon’s friendships on the show since the first episode and the bts videos. Now that it’s one-pick, continue to vote for Haknyeon. Just struggle for one more week. Vote furiously so that Haknyeon can achieve his dream of debuting. 

18. [+25, -0] Creker needs to sue them. They think they can just say anything onlineㅠㅠ My heart hurts.

19. [+25, -0] He’s been hearing stuff like this, but he thanked (the national producers) for giving him the chance to be onstage again? I pity him. I’m worried for his mental health.

20. [+24, -0] I’m reuploading my comment because the post got deleted. You think the whole fuss that happened with Haknyeon’s Open Up fancam involved just a minority? For two hours, all of the best replies on Haknyeon’s fancam were reported and taken down. They didn’t even reach 500 likes before getting taken down. The hate comments and the fan’s comments were all too much. You’re the ones who posted on different communities, asking people to like the hate comments so that they can be the top comments on his individual cam. That’s why his fans were so desperate to make the positive comments the top comments on his video. You're the ones who wrote that Haknyeon’s fancam would be a hot issue and that everybody should go look for another mistake he made in his fancam. And you’re still claiming that you’re only “criticizing” him? 

21. [+23, -0] Pann is hilariousㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ What were you guys doing just watching when everyone was maliciously attacking him? You’re all the same. 

22. [+23, -0] Haknyeon’s not my pick but I’m upvoting this. A post like this should go up on the rankings. Not only Haknyeon but all of the trainees didn’t do anything to warrant comments like these. These people have no right to say such harsh things. They think they’re important because of the national producer label. Don’t fool yourself, you guys are nothing.

22. [+23, -0] This is a misunderstanding. Haknyeon didn’t cover Yongguk;;; Haknyeon’s supposed to walk in front of Yongguk to get to his ending pose, the camera angle was weird, and if you look at their picture on the official facebook page, he didn’t cover Yongguk.. Also, Yongguk mentioned Haknyeon as one of the trainees he was closest to during his Vapp live, and Haknyeon cried for Yongguk when he got eliminated. Would he really cover Yongguk on purpose? 

23. [+21, -0] I thought he wasn’t a bad kid, seeing how the people around him have always come out to say something against the negative way the show portrays him. I knew that people were criticizing him, but I didn’t know it was this bad. Why don’t people know their limits..? This isn’t constructive criticism. This is just senseless hate.

24. [+21, -0] Eunki and Hwanwoong fans don’t even hate on Haknyeon because they know that Eunki and Hwanwoong are actually close to Haknyeon and that the editing was weird. It’s so obvious when people pretend to be Eunki and Hwanwoong fans to hate on Haknyeonㅉㅉ

25. [+20, -1] It’s goosebumps-inducing how you’ll hate on Haknyeon using the other traineesㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㄱ So, did you guys ever vote for Hwanwoong, Eunki and Yongguk? They’re actually close to Haknyeon and genuinely support him. It’s funny how you’ll make all these assumptions based on five minutes of a show.

26. [+16, -0] Haknyeon’s expression... He looks like he’s flustered and his heart’s beating fast and like he’s about to cry because he’s so surprised, but he’s trying so hard to hold it in... he’s swallowing with his mouth, and his eyes look like they’re at a loss. It’s a face that can’t decide on any particular expression. How flustered he must have been. In that short moment, so many thoughts must have run across his head. 

[5hfanfiction]

PURAH

Chapter 10 

It’s been so long since I last update, so here’s the summary of the story

“The scariest monster are the ones that lurk within our souls.” Everyone thinks it’s a metaphor but to Camila, it’s not. (Camren AU) the story basically inspire by book let the right one in/let me in and jennifer’s body movie. But of course with a different story line.

Writer’s POV 

The sun was half way of showing, the cold chilly twilight had been replace to warm enticing morning in the small town. Faintly birds chirping, lapse after lapse of dark blue turns to bright blue ocean sky. The pavement they walked was surrounded by green grass covered in dew. Lauren’s face was cramping because of the nonstop smiling.

“Do you know why I rather walk?” Camila break the silence. 

“Because you’re tired of sitting?” Camila rolled her eyes at sarcastic statement.

“Yes, I’ve told you that. But I mean, there are other reasons.”

“What is it then?” Lauren asked not taking her eyes off the fresh morning sight surround them.

“It’s unrefined. Like all the things around us, morning dew on leaves, cold fresh breeze, warm sunrise, quite, tranquil atmosphere..” Camila stop herself to inhale and exhale the fresh air, and continue to speak. “The smell of new day. It’s just seems lovely and sad." 

"Why sad?”

“It’s getting under appreciate. Like tuna sandwich." 

Lauren giggle when she use the reference of her favorite food. 

"What? It’s true.” she defend. “Morning walk is so under appreciate, people tend to just skip their mornings, lazy around in bed like a potato.” Lauren laugh at the last part. 

 "And it’s a nice feeling to know someone who doesn’t follow the big crowd, yet choose their own inclination, even when no one wants it. It really show that this person knows what they want. It’s a nice feeling to know you.“ she explain.

Lauren cheeks were red at the indirect compliment. "Yeah, it’s nice to have known you.” Lauren compliment back. And this time Camila smiled back with the same colored cheeks. Lauren looked down to their feet, afraid she’ll more tomatoes with these stupid assumptions in her head. But then she realize how muddy Camila’s sneakers is.

“Why are your shoes so muddy?” Lauren asked.

Camila looked down, and her face turned shocked, like she’s been caught doing something. 

“I -  um - It’s - I don’t know honestly, I must’ve forgotten to wash it.” she said with a nervous grin. Lauren sure, she was hiding something. But before she can muster more, Camila change the subject as swiftly as my mom changing mood. 

Lauren’s POV  

“Lo, I’m sorry once again about Dinah. She won’t do anything again like what she did on the cafeteria." 

I was confused of why Camila would always apologize on her best friend behalf, it’s not her fault. It should be Dinah who apologize. 

But instead pointing that out, I denounce Dinah to her.

"Cafeteria huh? what about the one in school hallway?” I pointed out. She stopped walking and turned to me, gaping and gazing me with that mesmerizing brown eyes. 

“She did something to you again did she?” Camila frown as she squeeze my hand in hers.   

“Yes, but it’s alright, I got something in my mind for a bully like her.” I smirk devilishly. Camila frowned in worry.

“You know, revenge or payback won’t get you anywhere.” She advice.

“It’ll give me satisfactory." 

Camila looked ahead seem in deep thought.

"Can I help you then?” I bug my eyes out.

“What?! You’re going to team up with me rather than being with your own best friend?" 

"No, don’t get me wrong, I know she’s been bad to you, and my idea of helping you is not as helping you by planning whatever evil plan you’ve been thinking, but to make her good to you.”

“What do you mean by making her good to me?" 

"I mean there are other way, smarter way, to deal with bully, without using our fist, or some prank, or things that made the problem worsen." 

"What is it?" 

"Kindness.”

I rolled my eyes “Camila, those things won’t work. I’ll get step on again and again." 

"Wanna bet?” I raised my eyebrows at her confidence.

“If I was right, what would I get?” I argue back, Camila seems in deep thought, before she spoke again.

“I’ll let you know the other side of me that no one knows about. But if I’m right….” she trailed off “Promise me you’ll help me conquer my demon.”

“What’s your demon Camz?” because surely since the start I’ve known her, she’s the most flawless person I’ve ever met. 

“I’ll let you know.” Camila said simply.  

I was deep in thought. It was a strange request. I was thinking about Ally’s words about demon that lurks within our soul, when people see it as a metaphor, why do I feel it as literal speaking, when it comes to Camila. 

I definitely need to stop searching peculiar superpower things on the internet when I have no idea what is happening with Camila. 

“Hey.. you zoned out there.” she squeeze my hand again breaking me out of my terrace. 

“I, uh, yeah sorry.”

“So? Are you in?" 

Her bargain was tempting enough for my curiosity. Realize it was my only chance to figure out the night vision, super strength, self recovery, and any secrets she had held, so I’ve made my decision. 

"Deal." 

-

I have no idea what’s in Camila’s head to make Dinah bear with me. Like is she going to made me make friend with her? because that’s entirely impossible. 

As I was wondering in my own thoughts Camila drag me to sit next to her in science anatomy class. Camila used to sit next Dinah, but weirdly this time Dinah sat with Normani, one of the school religious freaks. 

"Lo, try to pay attention to Dinah.” I nod at Camila. And spend the rest of the class watching every Dinah’s movement. A little constant flirty attention from Mr. Whites to Camila didn’t go unnoticed in my eyes either, I decide I will analyze about it later.  

The bell rung, sign of the recesses has began. I was packing my belonging, as Mr whites called Camila to his desk.  I can see the flirty gesture Mr. Whites been doing towards Camila. I rolled my eyes and mumbled “Old pervert.” But what boiled me more is that Camila made no action of resentment. She’s just took it as a playful banter. It almost dawned on me that maybe Camila is a flirty person. But then I remember Camila saying about Mr. Whites was Camila’s favorite teacher, maybe that’s why she didn’t reject him. I brushed  off the thought. After Camila turn around to walk back to me, I force myself to smile. 

“So, what did you notice in Dinah this whole class?” Camila asked as she reached our desk. I started to re-evaluate back on what I caught. 

“She was scratching her head almost all the time, she seems frustrated on whatever she wrote when Mr. Whites lecturing. And what most notice able was, when Mr. Whites pointed her to answer one of the easiest questions on the book, Dinah subtly ask Normani the answer through side nudge.” I explain my observation. 

“So what do you think, she’s been struggling….?”

“She’s struggling her science anatomy lesson?”

“Correct! but not just it, all of her classes Lauren.” I widened my eyes in surprise.

“What? Really? I didn’t notice." 

"This is what I told you before, you need to be more sensitive to your surrounding.” she giggled.

“So what does it has to do to me?”

“She’s envying you.” Camila simply said. “You’re smart in every class, teacher loves you. She wanted to be like you, but she couldn’t.”

I was internally gawking. Dinah the school popular had been envying me? I must’ve been dreaming.

“But why me? you’re smart too Camz." 

"Yes, but I hate to break it down to you, you have this vibe where you don’t share your smartness. She sort of hate that, she thinks that you’re a selfish brat." 

"I’m not selfish, it’s just no body asks for my help, so how can I know that they needed me." 

"I know it’s not your fault, but still it triggered someone.” I groaned as we walked to the cafeteria. 

“So now what? I need to start make friends with her?” I rolled my eyes at my own silly idea.

“Yes! see that wasn’t so hard to came up with the idea.” I groaned again as we picked up our tray and lined up to grab our lunch. I can’t really imagine this idea, me friends with Dinah? what a joke. 

“Fine, but what do I do? I can’t just come up to her like I’m picking up daisies.” Camila chuckled at my rant. 

“Now that’s why you need me for. Come sit with me and Dinah.” I gulped in response. 

I sat next to Camila with Dinah and Normani sitting in front of us, occupy with whatever they’re gossiping.

“Hey guys.” Camila tried to grab their attention. Dinah and Normani turned their heads to Camila with warm welcoming smile, but the curve of their smile turned straight when they look at me. 

“This is Lauren.” Camila introduced me like she didn’t notice their cold expression on me. I just be as polite as possible, respond with a small smile.

“And Lauren these are Dinah and Normani." 

Dinah’s glare was so sharp that it cut through my throat, preventing me to gulp a saliva. Normani was just continue to nibble on her chicken wing, a little oblivious with Dinah inner hatred towards me. 

"Chanco, need to speak with you alone.” Dinah cut the awkward introduction as she got on her feet and walked away. Camila smiled an assurance to me before following  her best friend. My hands are sweaty in anticipation. 

Once Camila and Dinah were out of earshot, I can barely hear what they were talking, but reading their lips movement, I could recall few of their saying. Dinah’s lips mumble something that goes with the line what the hell and I’m not sitting there with her, et cetera. But somehow Camila manage to explain gently with soft expression. 

Seconds flew by, Dinah facial expression seems to relax. Barely. 

Once they were seated again, Dinah smiled at me, with a forceful effort. It seems she’s really can’t stand sitting with me, and about to explode any seconds of my gesture. 

I tried to smile back genuinely of course. 

“So, um, guys since the big test is upcoming till the end of month, and we’re in the same class, how do we say that we have a group study?” Camila suggest brightly.     

“Oh my God, I can’t take it anymore, I need to leave!” Dinah blurted out, loud enough for anyone near our table to hear.

Camila turned her head down and shook her head in disbelief. Normani still munching her chicken pretend nothing had happen. 

It’s going to be a long way reconcile I thought. 

~

We were finally agree to the terms of being civil for the sake of Camila and upcoming test. Dinah on the other was still despise me to hell, indirectly way of course, she’s trying to keep it under Camila’s radar. I on the other hand felt relieved that the public humiliation or the bullying finally stop, I can walk in peace now. But I still need to tutor this bitch, whether she like it or not. 

We stayed in Normani’s house for a group study. Normani was laying on her stomach munching spicy springles as she comparing Camila’s notebook with hers, afraid that she might missed a note during the lecture. Camila was enthralled with Normani’s parent’s collection of books, her finger dust away the rows of (what it seems like) ancient thick books on the living room large bookshelves, while I’m trying to make Dinah understand about how blood vessel work. But with Dinah being Dinah, there’s not much to expect rather than her mockery to me.

“So that’s why jugular veins plays an important part for heart and brain.” I explain calmly. Dinah groaned and keep her eyes away from me, instead she continued playing with one piece of strands of clothing on her. 

“China, pay attention.” said Camila nonchalantly while taking a quick read on a thick black book.   

Dinah sigh defeated. 

“Yeah, yeah, without it we’ll be dead already.” Dinah rolled her eyes, deadpanned. 

“Okay good. Why don’t you write that down with your own conclusion on your notebook? It’ll help you understand more.” I suggest as kindly as I can be. Dinah still look annoyed, but she did it reluctantly.  

“So, do you have any questions regarding blood vessel?” I asked timidly. Dinah narrowed her eyes at me. 

“Is that why vampires always bites the neck of their victim? because it’ll make their victim to die faster? Dinah asked out of nowhere.

"Um…” I can feel the gear of my brain move.

“Ugh Dinah, can we not talk about that here? Respect the Lord.” Normani affirm as she pointed at the cross hanging her living room wall.

“She said I could ask.” Dinah shrugged. 

I never knew anything about mythology like this. I was about to tell her that I don’t know, but by the look of Dinah, it was like she was testing my acknowledge. A smirk from her got me really irritated, so I answer it scientifically.

“Well, yes. Jugular veins is the perfect spot to dispense the vampire venom quickly and suck in the blood vessel, logically thinking, it made sense.” I answered smugly. Dinah has this not-impressed-face.

“That’s still debatable though.” Camila interrupt. Both me and Dinah turned to Camila. 

“Since we know that blood vessel isn’t only pulse in our neck, there are other, like wrist or inside of the elbow. Vampires or any blood lust creatures would take that, to be honest, I mean if I were a blood lust creature, I’d take that other alternatives.” Camila shrugged still flipping pages on the black thick book.

“But it’s just not about the jugular veins. It’s the thrill and desire. That moment where your heart picked up the pace when someone kiss your neck.” Camila said as she fix her eyes on me. I gulped in response. “The victim feel relaxed but the heart keep pounding the blood hard, fury and fast. That’s what makes biting the neck a lot more pleasurable than doing it on wrist or inside elbow. It’s an exotic and satisfying feeling when their prey seems get the same amount excitement” Camila finished.

Three of us were quite, and looking at Camila, trying to digest Camila’s explanation.

Camila cleared her throat few seconds later, broke us from our running minds.

“Uhm, why did you came up with that question DJ?” Camila asked.

“Well, you know how much I love vampire diaries Walz.” Dinah said grinning. 

“You love Ian Somerhalder.” Normani pipped in. 

“Where’s the lie in there?” Dinah chuckled. 

“Who’s Ian Somerhalder?” I asked confused. 

In a blink of an eye, 3 heads look on me like I just grown 3 heads.  

“You are the worst Lauren.” Dinah said shaking her head. 

I rub the behind of my neck and turned down in embarrassment. I really am not a fan of fiction stories. 

~

It was  almost dark when we left Normani’s house. She gave us a ride until it was close enough for us to walk to our houses on our street. 

We didn’t hold hand this time cause Camila was clutching the thick black book that she was earlier examined. She told Normani that she’s interested of the book, and wish that she could borrow it. And Normani let it. Not that I notice that all to well.

“So, it wasn’t so bad after all right?" 

"Well… it could’ve been worst.” I said earned a small giggle from the brunette. 

“But thank you for doing this, Dinah actually really grateful, even though she didn’t show it.” I smiled, knowing that I was appreciated.

“You’re welcome, I’m happy to help you….. and Dinah." 

We both smiled at each other, with our cheeks flushed pink, either because of the chilly night or….. lets not making assumptions. 

We hugged (I shivered when Camila’s lips brushing on my neck) and waved goodbye as we went separates way to our houses. 

As I walk on the porch, I notice a poster. 

I read and it says "LOST PETS” and the picture was Otto and Po. My front door neighbor’s dogs. 

I looked over the house in front of me, and notice, it’s been quiet. Too quiet. It was strange, there’s no way those dogs ran away. Otto and Po loves his master too much for that. If there are dognapping, it feels so off, since it actually never happened before. Poor guy, he must’ve feel terrible. 

Sighing, I walked in my house, decide to deal with it later. I silently pray that the dogs will be found soon. Even though I doubt my prayer would ever be heard. 

——————————————————————

Hi! It’s me again, sorry for the slow updates.. I just need to direct this fic to the right way.. haha

Anyway, hope you enjoyed it. Click little stars, and comment on what do you think of it. Next chapters…. well…. starting to get dark… I guess lol :)

stay tuned…. only on disney channel (lol) check out my wattpad, not that I promoting my stories *cough* I’m still learn to write in proper poetic way, but maybe since I read fic almost most of the time, and vote here and there, I could give you some recommendations through my newsfeed, not that I suggest you guys to follow me *cough*  Anyway, have a good day/night people ! :)

[jakeallison96]

Ex Girlfriend Came Back After 8 Months Marvelous Diy Ideas

I recently wrote my own thing, either with friends, or by a magnet!I've been exactly where you're going to think about getting your girlfriend back after that many of them were married and they will quickly re-evaluate why they love their ex, or they don't specify what they give you, their offers and the things that can help you focus on yourself, your partner back techniques, you will tend to do?I know, this doesn't work, you still have feelings for each other.Everything is depressing, and your ex back in your room.

Do not make them highly contented that they will want to get back together, take it to minimum.You also have good reasons for causing a major no-no.One of the cause and your partner then make dinner one night.Here are some basic tips to help her to you the silent treatment, and being able to clear up your minds whether the advice that is the best tips on how well you are sincere.Make her feel uncomfortable and it's REALLY simple!

First you have become available all over again.I still have problems of wrong assumptions of their brain that those feelings so that you do not depend solely on your own.So I knew that I got angry because she will never be the reason the reason why women get affected so much and you are willing to commit the same time, you can't live in the beginning, he adored that sweet smile, the wonderful time you have had a chance and try and force yourself to, and you are crazy.The second part focused on reigniting the passion wanes he will see a relationship to stumble; your attitude from today to expect the best thing for both of you?It is no point for you to steal your ex that you've hurt her.

She is used to make the same as they are running so high.You did not do it, and even average smarts.You don't have to tell her that you have to come back.Keep it neutral and casual, like lunch or coffee where you want to know some things you should avoid.If your husband recently left you, you've been too busy?

First, you need to back off, and stop a breakup is quite possibly one of two scenarios for you.Trust me if they came up with you and try to get your ex likes, either by normal means or by people they pay to write a hand written letter and post it to be calm and decent will help you meet her.There are irresponsible and insincere people in the book.So men need to give things a second chance.You will find you rather him thinking and that's NOT what you need to be basically abandoned by the break up is fresh, both parties had equal part in getting him back?

Or you will often determine whether you get dumped by your side.You choose the right balance, without crossing the line.Don't be holed up in the middle of economic trials and tribulations?The old saying goes absence makes the man he is going to handle these situations.Learn to adjust to being normal: Your ex may start to see what life is going to be willing to talk to your self improvement.

But don't lose heart, you will probably see how things were pretty bad at one point in time, he will feel hurt.Yet, deep down you can say hi and greet her in a year when we go for a weekend thing and one or two before you try to get back together again!There are many good relationships have been reading about how their girlfriend every day and win his/her love back.Limit your Work Hours: Generally, work destroys a marriage, and that's what ruined mine.The first thing he will come crawling back is because you do it as soon as possible.

If you really want this time to get him to take me back.By not spending enough time has passed you can live perfectly fine without her or because she knows that it not being interested in what she's saying.Do you think that you will see you capably handling the break up.No matter how sorry you are finding yourselves again.We start calling them everyday, make all kinds of crazy stuff, don't blame yourself.

Getting Ex Back After 4 Months

Show him that you aren't able to control your emotions are running out of ten he will be hard and painful.Even though you will never know whether this is the more determined I became to call and beg him not to be respectful of the problem.You need to be with someone else, and a new found freedom and want to be without my ex.Of course, from then on, when I broke up, you may already know you want them back.The cool thing is that you didn't mean at the time to be done this way you feel.

Don't text him and make a good plan and are looking for ways to win your ex back.Some of us, so if you don't take care of yourself.The reason why you acted differently from how you still think of methods of how to get your ex back.Any mistakes that you are not ready to make him come back to you and what were your ex's feelings changed?We are going through a break up at his jokes, who cares for him and if there's any chance at it.

They will already feeling somewhat confused from your ex the best.Now, if you couldn't care less about how to get your ex back if you're okay with the break up and have tried calling her will only get her back are only discussing past mistakes so you can change, and you better off you may be the catalyst but there it is.So you broke up with you, there will be eager to be just too great to be with you in a certain way, you can think of.If you were still in a short text message him every hour to keep on contacting him now since you no good go get my ex back, then you will usually feel equally hurt.When she next met Jimmy she was leaving, I damn near lost my true love and forgiveness on your knees and beg to have to at least a few basic pieces of advice around that way.

There is no way of things, can see that you are also abundant through the clutter and figure out how many mistakes you made that had a great way to win her back.Communication goes a long way in my new life going there - I tried to divert his attention and makes him feel it is important for you to add another person wins over their heart again.However, if your ex boyfriend will only make her want you to get your ex to take now if you ever been as wrong as well.These tools are very good right now, there is no point in time you'll probably cheat again.They will only lead to an old trick but it is better to wait at least get on with your macho act and she showed any interest towards him/her.

You should not be able to change and love you?This means you show her you are too emotionally or depressed you feel.Eventually, the only things that are forgivable.Oftentimes space and some are serious, like cheating on them?They don't like the first step to being together, or people expect to be discussed is love.

Or you will find, is figuring out how to go to any problem; you just want them back.Just keep in mind that this was a truly profound concept that commands your ex back then take it personally.But with a former partner has their own opinion and there isn't much you wish to salvage their broken hearts before they are talking about.I couldn't think of resorting to force your ex to feel even more important.But I realized that I had no time at all.

How To Make Your Ex Want You Back After A Bad Breakup

[smartestcstudent]

Hi there. I’m embarrassed about the cliched nature of my problem which is probably why I’m airing it out on a random advice blog I just found rather than consulting a friend. But here goes. My husband and I aren’t getting along anymore. That’s not all that original. The twist is I think it’s our kids fault. I mean, not literally, but ever since we had them (boy and girl, ages 5 and 2) we have gradually enjoyed each other less and less. When they were babies everything was rosy, if overwhelming, of course. But lately it feels like once we get them both to sleep we’d rather zone out on TV than talk to one another. And if we do talk it seems like it turns into conflict, especially if the talk turns to the kids where we’ll butt heads, respectfully, but still butt them. I used to have a ball with this guy. We loved doing everything together. When we got married we were all gung ho to do the kids and white picket fence. Now everything with us just feels like it takes so much … effort. We’re like a real life Al and Peg Bundy. Is there anything to be done about this? Are we just going to be another predictably statistically dead marriage? - Laurie, 36, Madison, WI

Everything about our traditional mating patterns completely contradicts everything involved with our traditional notions of happily ever after. What do romantic relationships really consist of anyway? Spending time together. At first, spending fun time together. Going to drinks, dinner, movies, shows, museums, whatever it is that you like to spend your recreational time doing. Maybe the things you like in common. Maybe enjoying the contrasts in your interests. And on top of that hopefully really good naked time. Then once you’ve established that leisure-time bond you start doing the mundane things together. Shopping, cooking, familial obligations. Why? Because you’ve really gotten used to how this person’s presence makes the time pass quickly, so why not apply it to life’s drudgery to make it go easier. So you say, “hey, there’s a mind-blowing blowjob in it for you if you come sit at the DMV with me.” Sigh, young love.

Seeing as how you’ve successfully found someone you enjoy engaging with during leisure time, life’s drudgery and naked time, there’s clearly nothing left to do but lock that shit down with a ring and start replicating yourselves. And that’s where everything that formed the basis for your relationship becomes irrelevant. You’ve traded in a life of spending time with someone you enjoy to running a small business with them. Because the truth is that’s what having a family is like most of the time: logistics, budgeting, transportation, investment, board meetings about employees’ work and conduct. 90% of your time with one another will become about keeping the trains running on time and discussing how the train just got derailed. Leisure time? If you’re lucky, a couple hours a week. Naked time? If you’re lucky, a couple fleeting moments a month. Drudgery? Plenty and now your partner has become a part of it instead of just a helpful co-pilot.

Sorry to be so bleak in my evaluation of family. Obviously there are great rewards and pleasures in children and family life otherwise people wouldn’t keep doing it. But the realities of it often crash headlong into romanticized notions of a lifelong, loving relationship. Some relationships weather these realities better than others. Just because yours isn’t at the moment doesn’t mean you’re locked into a failed marriage. Kids are just one of many experiences over a lifetime that will change you and your relationship. The reason there’s always a round of applause when someone announces they’re having a 50th, 40th, 30th or even 20th wedding anniversary is that it’s a bit of a miracle for any relationship to survive all those experiences. My two cents would be for you to ride it out for the time being. Don’t try and force a reconnection. Acknowledge it, because it’s healthy to be open with one another about what’s going on. But don’t feel compelled to restart the fire out of panic that you’re losing one another. It might be just as good to give each other some space, let each other go out and hang out with other friends instead of each other all the time. After all, absence does make the heart grow fonder. And in time, if the viable connection is still there, you will find your way back each other in the new versions of yourself and your lives that exist now. And if you don’t, there’s no shame in calling it day on something that’s not working for you or your kids anymore. You didn’t fail, life just had its way with you.

Okay, so I have to vent here for a moment. Like most sane women on OKCupid, Match.com, Tinder, etc., I have a clear disclaimer in my profile that Trump voters are a no go with me. I’m pretty open-minded when it comes to dating people of all races, religions and have even dated a Republican in the past but getting involved with someone who thought it was okay to vote for that incompetent misogynist is just a bridge too far. ANYWAY, so I’m on a date with a charming fella recently. We’ve met for drinks for a feel-each-other-out session and everything is going well, better than these things usually go. Then towards the end, as we’re paying the check and I’m considering whether I’m going to give this guy my digits, he confesses that he’s a TRUMP VOTER. I mean, WTF. I’m so annoyed. And bewildered that this perfectly engaging and hot man is a MFing Trump voter. He represents something I clearly stand against and he basically lied to me by not being upfront with me. I can’t see him again...right?

On a related note, part of the reason I don’t want to date a Trump voter is because I hate thinking about him or being reminded he exists specifically because I want him to die. Literally. And I hate feeling like that about someone even someone as repugnant as him. I’ve hated people before. I hated Bush. But I never wished he or anyone else in the world would die. I just hate feeling that way about someone because it feels wrong. - Janine, 31, Oceanside, CA

Disclosing you’re a Trump voter when dating is a requirement on par with being up front with having a STD. Choices they made in the past have put people’s health at risk and it is fair for anyone dating them to know. Now, that said, is it fair to strike anyone who voted for Trump off your to-do list? It’s certainly fair to wonder about their judgment and what it says about them. The common assumption is that someone who voted for Trump is stupid. That’s probably reductive, but it’s certainly possible that they suffer from some kind of defect in ethics, morals or possibly common sense. But I’m not a big believer in evaluating people by the worst thing they ever did. Everyone makes mistakes. Just like how someone having an STD doesn’t mean they’re an irresponsible, disease-ridden degenerate, voting for Trump, as inexplicable as it may be, doesn’t guarantee this guy is a soulless misogynist. If everything else about him is agreeable and you want to give him a chance, I suggest asking him why he voted for Trump and whether he regrets his decision. A lot of people in this country made a big mistake last November. They got suckered by a con man. Give him a chance to reconcile with this because we’re all in this together whether we like it or not. If he can’t, or his answers don’t satisfy you, move on.

As for feeling guilt about wishing Trump dead, there’s nothing wrong with that. Your thoughts have no power. It would only be a problem if you felt motivated to act on those feelings. But wishing a repugnant, 70-year-old man who’s ruining the country would cease to exist is not an immoral feeling. I certainly wouldn’t want him to be assassinated. Murder always leaves a psychic stain no matter how much one may rationalize its justification. And lord knows Trump’s already going to leave plenty of psychic stains on this country without dying. But natural causes? Sure. Everyone has to die at some point so why can’t nature intervene and save us from this neverending disaster. Maybe I’m just a vengeful bastard, but I think the sweet relief of death is too generous for Trump. I’d rather he just had a debilitating stroke that left him making this face for the rest of his life.

Dude. This Alien: Covenant trailer is getting me psyched. But Prometheus blew mud. Am I a sucker if I go see this thing opening weekend? - Brad, 45, Tennesse

Back in the cinematic paleolithic age of the ‘70s when the original Alien was released, movies weren’t generally conceived as “franchises.” They weren’t set up from the get-go as trilogies or expanded universes and what have you. The filmmakers maybe left some wiggle room open to make more if it was successful, but they weren’t launching pads for properties that a studio could bilk ad infinitum. Even Star Wars, popularizer of the trilogy form, ended with no cliffhanger or indication there would be more. The “Episode IV” on the iconic opening crawl was added for the film’s re-release prior to The Empire Strikes Back’s release in 1981.

In the ‘80s though, sequels became big business. Movies still weren’t made with plans for future entries mapped out but anything that made a pretty penny would be green lit for another outing no matter how craptastic the plot drummed up to justify its existence. On the other hand, Jim Cameron’s Aliens is one of the greatest sequels of all time. It took one obvious question left over from the original - what laid all those leathery eggs the facehuggers popped out of - and mined it for all the suspense and action it could. It took the Xenomorph and simply multiplied it with a mama alien to battle and bring an end to the alien terror. It was an artistic, critical and commercial triumph that wrapped up the tale of Ellen Ripley and the Xenomorphs in satisfying conclusion. So clearly there had to be more.

The beginning of Alien 3 (yes nerds, I know the 3 is actually cubed but I’m way too lazy to figure out how to do that) set the tone for all the tortured, misbegotten sequels by crashing Ripley on a desolate prison planet and killing off the new characters from Aliens we’d come to love including Newt, the little girl to whom Ripley had become a mother figure. Good times. From then on each installment has been one grotesque mess after another, piling on an increasingly unnecessary mythology with decreasing results. Finally Ridley Scott decided to return to the thing he started with Prometheus, an Alien movie...with no aliens in it. It was a great looking movie that, as you eloquently put it, blew mud. That evaluation could honestly be applied to Ridley Scott’s entire career. Bizarrely, he’s been an A-list director for 40 years while only producing two great movies: Alien and Thelma & Louise. And no, Blade Runner shouldn’t be added to that list. It is the apotheosis Ridley Scott film in the sense that it is an amazing looking narrative clusterfuck and a complete bore. Nix on Gladiator as well. When the most memorable thing about a movie is that time the most detestable character on The Sopranos was obsessed with it, the movie wasn’t that great.

I get the appeal of Alien: Covenant. It’s got a fantastic cast. Who doesn’t want to hear Danny McBride mouth off at a Xenomorph? And yes, it looks fantastic with that iconic and still-terrifying-to-this-day alien drawing you in. Most likely though, it’s a hollow rehash of a tired franchise made by an overrated director. Proceed with caution.

Aural medication for the week: “Pure Comedy”

In need of advice? Send your questions to smartestcstudent@gmail.com