#SORRY I AM FEELING JOY IM SUBJECTING YOU ALL TO MY JOY

[frecklystars]

So amusing how Ken was so annoyed with Barbie when they went to the Real World™. I mean he was ANNOYED. He was so smitten after the dance party and in the car and basically any time he ever basked in her presence, but literally the moment they get to the Real World™ he sees men in power for one (1) second and he starts getting an attitude.

Like when she's sitting on the bench and he's like "I hate when people think, I get so BORED" and he sounds so pissy already. it's so funny. "the faster I think, the faster we can get home" "what am I supposed to do?? 🙄" then she's growling through clenched teeth "KENNNN." so fucking good. the whole scene, so good. "go for a walk or something!" "OH REALLY. BY MYSELF." AS IF THIS MAN HAS NEVER WALKED BY HIMSELF ANYWHERE BEFORE? "YES." "WHERE???" AND SHE'S JUST LOOKING AT HIM INCREDULOUSLY "???? ANYWHERE!!!!!" "CAN I GO THAT WAY?" "YES"

he walks away. his head over his shoulder, staring at her. the. entire. time. he is walking. no, sauntering. with this stupid grin on his face.

"don't go too far-" and his smile warps into a snarl for a split second when he angrily shouts "OKAY!"

and then the scene where Barbie's all excited because she's about to meet Sasha, Ken interrupts and says "I'm just gonna pop into the library real quick and see if they have any books on trucks :D" and he's got the CUTEST DORK SMILE on his face he sounds SO EXCITED 🥺🥺🥺

and Barbie says with a sigh "okay, just don't get in trouble" and she's not even annoyed here. she's just genuinely worried about him causing a scene or something

and Ken's smile DROPS and his good mood DROPS and his eyes bug out when he growls "I WONNNN'T" in the most exasperated voice EVER, he sounds SO offended and he's doing that hand motion where he's shakily clawing the air palms facing up and in response Barbie's immediately gritting her teeth and clenching her jaw giving him a Mom Glare. i fucking love their dynamic it's such a mess literally neither of them are normal

the whole time they are in the Real World™ they are at each other's throats. Barbie expresses multiple times how uncomfortable she is with these negative feelings she's experiencing for the first time, things Ken has already experienced but she's unaware of it, such as anxiety and self consciousness, and Ken does not acknowledge her comments even once. I don't think he was purposefully ignoring her but he was definitely lacking the chivalrous Kenergy™ because he was so wrapped up in horses patriarchy.

I don't think they had any positive interactions with each other except when they went "shopping" for new western clothes and they were like "we look great!" "i love fringe!" "i love denim!" and they're both laughing together. that was the first and only moment we see them interacting as genuine friends, where Barbie is talking to him as an equal instead of (unintentionally) as an accessory, and Ken isn't begging and prying for her attention. but otherwise you don't really see them caring that much about each other, at least not in a healthy way, until the very end of the movie. and this isn't to say that they're on bad terms yet, not at all, but in the beginning of the movie Barbie is still not really seeing Ken. he's just Some Dude who follows her like a lost puppy and she doesn't acknowledge him unless if he's asking. hey Barbie, check me out. hey Barbie, how much of that did you see. hey Barbie, can I come to your house tonight. hey Barbie, hey Barbie, hey Barbie. please let me come with you to the real world, WHAT IF THERE'S BEACH, YOU'LL NEED SOMEONE WHO'S A PROFESSIONAL IN THAT. and then ryan gosling gives you the softest smoothest buttery delivery when he ends it with a small breathy please? the 'p' and 's' so gentle I literally sigh every time he says it... anyway--

[carefreecoffee]

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚Soulmate AU: Tamaki Amajiki x Reader˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ

Word count: 767, Gender-neutral reader

Soulmate AU: Gray to color: Until you lock eyes with your soulmate, your hold word is in hues of gray.

The sun had yet to come out. The sky was gloomy and dark, at least that's all that Tamaki could see. He sighs as he makes his way down the bustling sidewalk of the morning. People coming and going from work and getting out of school. 

His trip to the convenience store was a rather quick one in an attempt to beat the weather but alas he could not defy nature. He held his umbrella low upon his head and the bag in his other as rain continued to thump against the sheer material of his umbrella. 

Shuffling through the crowds was a feat but as he came to a crosswalk, he had a chance to catch his breath. The puddles beneath his feet splashing slightly as the signal changed to a walking man. As he makes his way onto the opposite side of the street, he picks up his speed just wanting to be back in the comfort of his warm dorm. 

The people lessen and his heart rate slows. The gray all around him became deafening. It was never an unheard thing to live colorless until you had found your soulmate. Everyday it seemed to eat him alive. It was something he had never been able to shove down. The hardships he had to face in battle due to not knowing one color from another. 

To find his soulmate was something he had both been excited and eager for but also scared and afraid of what they might think of him. Just because he's their soulmate doesn't mean they will like him right? He succumbs to his thoughts, not seeing as he bumps into someone else upon the pavement. 

“Oumph!” 

He flinches back and looks at the figure on the ground, with a shaky hand he reaches out, “O-oh m-my gosh i am so sorry! P-please let me help you up.” He drops the bag in his hand as he holds his umbrella over you. You stand up, still covering yourself as you escape the rain briefly. You see as your umbrella had fallen just a few feet away, picking it up with a sigh. 

“N-no no it's my fault.  Apologize sir-” Your eyes meet his and suddenly you feel… elated. A weird feeling arises in your chest as your eyes meet his small widened ones. His beautiful hair- his… his hair! It's actually a color! Your eyes wander from his pale skin to his dark hair and how murky the sky actually was but it was less dull then the everlasting gray hues you had been subjected to. You freeze and see that he had noticed way earlier than you.his eyes scanning around him, around you, on you tracing your hair and stature. He seems to be shaking. 

You reach forward and whisper, “Are… you my..” He nods slightly, still taking in the whole situation. You feel your cheeks flush.‘This guy was so cute!’ He shakes his head and bows. “I am s-so so sorry i didnt mean to run into you like that. I hope you can forgive me.” You panic and place your free hand on his shoulder. 

“Woah hey no no it's fine really. I-i think knowing who you are made up for it enough already.” you send him a smile as his face meets yours. “Im Y/N, Y/N L/N. What's your name?” He stands up straight again, “Tamaki, Tamaki Amajiki.” The faintest smile reaches his lips as you nod and take out your phone. 

“It's getting pretty bad out here but I would love to talk to you more, Amajiki. May I have your number?” He frantically nods and tries to type his number in without the rain interfering. 

Afterwards you smile and pick up his bag, passing it to him. “It was very nice to meet you, Amajiki.” His face flushes. “It was so nice to meet you Y/N and please, call me Tamaki.” He takes the bag from your hand, grazing it a bit as you walk past him. He is perpetually stunned until his phone breaks him out of it. 

“It was a joy to meet you, Tamaki. I hope to see you again soon, i’d love to explore new colors with you :)”

He's almost in tears. Not just from knowing he had found his soulmate but also from the overstimulation from the new colors surrounding him. It was like you had actually brought the light into his life. He knew he would be just fine with you as long as it meant he could spend those moments in colorful bliss.

[hazshit-hotel-hater]

The way substance abuse has been handled on the show thus far genuinely upsets me and reeks of writers who either 1.) don't understand the subject matter they're presenting and haven't done even the bare minimum to research it or, worse, 2.) simply don't care.

Apologies for the slight rant incoming, your comment about how it has been mostly "handled" off-screen got me going because that's 100% true and in that truth is such a missed opportunity for the show. The way it has been handled winds up feeling incredibly shallow and juvenile at the end of the day, especially for a piece of media that is attempting to present itself as "adult" and navigate multiple incredibly sensitive topics. I'll try not to get into my own personal experiences and will speak broadly, but the show uses substance abuse more as a cheap character flaw to poke fun at or something to magically handwave away when it is inconvenient, rather than the life-altering, debilitating illness that it is.

Nothing about Angel's use is ever meaningfully explored. It's so (apparently) unimportant to his arc and development that one rude comment from Husk (a character who ALSO has a problem with gambling and alcohol that is never addressed) is all it takes for him to suddenly "resist temptation" and be shown as "recovered" (unless I'm misremembering). Or was he suddenly going to counseling off-screen too and its just another thing that will be told to us rather than shown? And how does Charlie even handle that at the Hotel (I'd be really interested in this as a moment for her character to have to grow/change too)? Does she even understand substance abuse and the many unaddressed systemic factors that can influence it? Or is the entire recovery process just shame based (because that works so well /s) combined with some more corny trust exercises? Why is this incredibly serious topic relegated to the background as if it's unimportant?

Recovery is hard. It is emotional and exhausting. Withdrawal (depending on what you're coming off of) can sometimes mean excruciating, unimaginable pain and in some cases people literally die. It is not a funny "ha-ha I take drugs because I'm chaotic and wild" quirk to be adored or glorified and it definitely should not be presented as something that can be wrapped up in a month or two off-screen without any development whatsoever. That's just insulting.

When you approach a topic like substance abuse and recovery, I personally feel you need to take in all sides of it. All the missteps that come with it (two steps forward one step back - mistakes are expected and okay), the self-loathing, the guilt and shame, the joy, the sense of freedom, the loss, and the best part of all: the incredibly difficult but liberating journey that is rebuilding your life and learning to love yourself and your body again, once you've chosen to be free and to live life.

Mad props to anyone who has ever battled this disease. You are strong, you are worth it and you are valued. Lol I am so sorry for going off here but I so appreciate you calling out the lack of exploration on this topic in the show. I guess I didn't even realize how annoyed and upset it was making me feel (praying this is coherent...).

This was absolutely coherent don’t worry!! Im really glad to see other people talking about this. I myself have not struggled with drug addiction but I have struggled with other kinds and as someone that studies a bunch of medical junk, I’d say I’m decently knowledgeable.

I’m mainly going to focus on Angel for this since he’s the main character I write for, but I assure you other characters addictions are also handled in my rewrite.

During the actual canon show, we don’t see Angel actually abusing substances that often; there’s a few times, most notably in episode 4, but from the rest of the show onward we hardly see anything. Yes in episode 6 they mentioned relapsing, which, mind you, was done horribly, but I digress. They touch on relapsing; Angel relapses, and then… what..??? What happened from that? I don’t feel upset or second hand guilt of any kind from this scene because we haven’t seen Angel’s attempts to stay sobre and off drugs.

His name is fucking Angel Dust. You don’t, I dunno, think that’d entail a higher dependency on drugs? Why do you think he named himself that?

About his name before anything else, the show has so much potential later on to talk about Angel picking out his drag name and why he chose that specifically. So much potential to explore how he views drugs and himself. He sees them as an escape and something “fun” to take his mind off of his actual life. When you die in a fucking coma and wake up in hell as a spider you’re going to want an escape. You will want to ignore reality. I am fully convinced Angel picked his name once he started performing because thats what he needed at the time. He needs to be like that to survive in hell. Angel is an incredibly mentally ill, troubled, traumatised, and unstable person, and being surrounded by so much intense negative influence only amplifies his current problems. I don’t mean to drag Vox in here but in my last redesign post I mentioned how very mildly bad people can become even worse people in hell because of the environment and this is no different for Angel. He’s been surrounded by crime and drugs his entire life and unable to live comfortably because of his sexuality. He has very likely been struggling with substances since he was a teen. Possibly even younger. He is not going to suddenly get over his addiction because of something like this. It could pave the way to him looking into dealing with it, but things like this can take years. I don’t remember when my addiction started; I’ve been clean for 2 1/2 years now I think, but the amount of relapsing and anguish I experienced while working towards that isn’t something that can be done in a few days or months. I still struggle with feeling like I deserve to say I’m recovering.

I’m hoping they tactfully handle this as they should, but my hopes are low. It’s okay to show a character relapsing. It’s okay to show a character feeling guilty. What matters is that the struggle is there to signify they’re trying. For a character with a song called “Addict” you really don’t see much of it. Drug and alcohol addiction is not a silly thing to just twiddle your fingers with and be like “well I guess thats over!” It’s incredibly insensitive to do so.

Whenever I write about Angel’s struggles with addictions, I focus on how small they can feel until you realise what’s actually happening. Just me talking about my rewrite again, but to get my ideas out here: Angel smokes often. He smokes at the studio when he’s stressed, he smokes at the hotel when he’s stressed, he smokes at in alleyways when he’s bored, there’s almost no location he won’t, but sometimes he tries to smoke less. His lungs aren’t the same as humans and technically he has 2 pairs of lungs, but smoking causes him to cough. This is painful in general and especially painful for Angel since he has barbs going down the back of his throat. Imagine choking on sandpaper, kind of like that. It’s painful, he doesn’t like the sound, Fat Nuggets REALLY doesn’t like the sound, and it’s an overall inconvenience, so he tries to stop smoking as much. Periods like this usually go fine for him until the stress returns or he starts to feel the withdrawal. Withdrawal from any sort of addiction is terrible, and in Angel’s case, just from not smoking it worsens his mental state further. He becomes irritable and stressed and that stress leads to wanting to smoke again to calm down. He may resist a few times and those times should be praised, but he gives in eventually. One cigarette to calm down becomes two, then three, and before he can process himself getting carried away, the entire pack is gone. It’s things like this that make addiction horrible. It’s something that deeply scared me when I was struggling. When I was struggling I was still in the mindset of “I can stop when I want to” and then being so suddenly hit in the face with the realisation that I’m not longer in control of this is terrifying. I could not stop when I wanted to. There were even points where I didn’t want to stop. Even just getting the smallest glimpse of this in an incredibly serious manner with Angel Dust would surprise me. To think the bar is this low on a show that seemingly prides itself on tackling such sensitive topics like you said is appalling. Your show shouldn’t have to be told how to write itself.

[punkshort]

hey, i am sorry for trauma dumping but i needed to ask someone and i feel awful sorry and just ignore this if you want no hard feelings

before i start i just wanted to appreciate all your work and i think you are an amazing writer you literally take me where you are writing

so i have this friend who thinks its super duper weird that im into joel and pedro pascal was into joel before pedro too but thats not tue subject, he says you are into old men (im 23) you are obsessed (i just repost edits of joel/pedro on my tiktok that is private and sometimes (literally sometimes cuz he gets weird about it) talk about him while we talk) and i was out drinking with my other friends and i told him jokingly that i took a shot in honor of joels birthday and we had fight(?) about it he told me i was taking the "pedro pascal" obsession too far that he doesnt even have words to say to me and i just said alright and he said did i touch a nerve and i said no you drew a boundary and i respect it.

and btw i do have daddy issues but never dated anyone older i just like fictional characters that are older and am not parasocial or anything i know, it just made me question myself if im being a weirdo honestly. i am not looking for affirmation

again sorry for trauma dumping really.

Oh anon I'm sorry your friend made you feel this way. I mean, from the quick little rundown you just gave, my vibe is your friend is into you and he's jealous when you talk about Joel or Pedro. Thats just my initial takeaway because when I was in my early 20s I experienced a very similar sitch and... yeah, that's what it ended up being. I could be way off base but it might be something to consider.

But as far as you thinking you're a weirdo - you're just as weird as the rest of us here. We're all in the same boat as you, we write and read fanfic about Pedro boys because we love them and we find joy in it and many likely find it therapeutic to read/write about an older character who treats their significant other like they walk on water and guess what? We aren't hurting anyone. It's harmless, it brings us happiness, maybe helps heal some old wounds, and we found a community of other people to scream at when blurry pics of him come out or new promos from new characters and we all hyper fixate together like a beehive.

So, yeah, you might be weird, but we're all weird here. And there's nothing wrong with that. Thank god you're not normal, cause that's boring as hell.

Don't let anyone make you feel bad about yourself for enjoying something fun.

I love you ❤️

[zhouszishu]

the sisters drama anon here: thank you to the people in the comments, i'll check those dramas/movies out! and if you know some good dramas about a female friendship then i'd like a rec as well please and thank you 🤲

IM SO SORRY THIS RESPONSE IS MONTHS LATE im still in bar study hell at the moment

(1) delicious romance (2021)

probably one of my favorite female-centric female friendship dramas in recent years i love all the ladies so much!!

it was extremely easy to binge and in my opinion, very heartwarming, relatable, and funny

a huge plus is how it handles a lot issues that a lot of women face in a very mature yet still lighthearted way

there is also a movie sequel (although i haven't watched it yet so cannot speak to its quality)

(2) remembramce of things past (2021) - tw for suicide

first things first -- if zhou yutong has a million fans, then i am one of them. if zhou yutong has ten fans, then i am one of them. if zhou yutong has only one fan, then that is me. if zhou yutong has no fans, then that means i am no longer on this earth. if the world is against zhou yutong, then i am against the world.

an urban slice of life drama centering around the lives of a group women in beijing and from the first episode you already know just how heart-wrenching this drama will be

definitely very heavy at times but all the characters are so compelling despite their seemingly very ordinary lives and these women feel so real because of all their flaws and struggles

also i am in love with zhou yutong i will literally watch almost anything just for her

(3) faithful (2023) - tw for sexual assault

heed the trigger warning -- the story is very heavy due to its subject matter

this drama is not about female friendships technically but the relationship between the two female leads is so central and important to the story and honestly the driving force behind the plot so it counts

the drama isn't perfect but i think that it is a very meaningful exploration of the injustice victims face when they speak out on sexual assault and just how difficult it is for victims to obtain justice in a world that cares more about protecting rapists than believing victims

it portrays the many ways in which victims are punished for daring speak up and fight for themselves and how the justice system and society are culpable in further traumatizing the victims

like this drama was so difficult to watch at times and can be quite triggering so please take care of yourself if you end up watching!!

by the last episode i was bawling like a baby

(4) the story of minglan (2018)

I HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS ABOUT MINGLAN TO THIS DAY AND GET THE URGE TO REWATCH ALL 63 EPISODES LIKE EVERY YEAR EVEN THOUGH I DON'T HAVE THE TIME FOR IT

okay again not a female-friendship drama but it is female-centric

such a great slice-of-life drama about the inner lives of women with really rich, detailed storytelling and so many complex women AND UGH I LOVE IT SO MUCH

like the story treats their female characters with so much care and love and the writing allows you to understand all their motivations, and show you how these women, even if they are cruel, scheming, and manipulative, are not passive victims of their circumstances but are doing what they can to exert agency and control in their lives in order to protect themselves and their loved ones

also i lovelovelovelove the main couple so much they're up there as one of my favorite cdrama couples of all time

one day i will manage a full rewatch so that i can re-gif all of my favorite scenes in better quality :)

(5) ode to joy (2016) and ode to joy 2 (2017)

about five women who enter each other's lives because they all live on the same floor of an apartment building in shanghai -- they don't all start out as friends but over time do overcome their differences and become close friends

similar to remembrance of things past in the how it explores issues of career, family, and love but just as good and compelling

some of the ladies are difficult to love at first but by the end i was rooting for them all and enjoyed watching them all grow

(6) twenty your life on (2020)

drama centers around the lives of a group of college-aged girls and explores their struggles as they enter adulthood

it's not a groundbreaking drama but still quite a fun, light-hearted watch that i enjoyed a lot

i loved the girls' friendships so much and was rooting for them all by the end

there is a season 2 but again, i have not watched so cannot speak on its quality

[koheletgirl]

Do you have any les mis fic recs?

hello! first off im assuming you mean exr fic recs, since those are the only ones i have read (sorry i only care about the shippable twinks im problematic).

anyway that is a very good question that is harder for me to answer than it should be, because the thing is i am discovering that i am very particular when it comes to exr fic - both because im picky wrt characterizations, and bc im weak and i need happy endings (which obviously rules out almost all canon timeline fics). so what im going to do here is only give you fics i have no reservations about, and you can dm me if you want to hear about more.

im going to do this under the cut. please mind the ratings and the tags, r has issues <3

we'll start off with world ain't ready, because how can we not. it's a fake dating high school au that takes place in the mid 2000s (a fact that never fails to bring me joy), and it has to be one of my favorite fics i have ever read. it's well written, the characterizations are soso good and despite dealing with some heavy subjects it's such a feelgood read for me. in fact im the only one in our 3 person book club who hasn't started my war reread yet. i should do that

speaking of our book club. It's Not the Same Anymore is a bookshop au where grantaire is a father (!), and it's is the last thing i imagined myself getting into, but life is full of surprises i guess. it's just one of those fics that has A Feeling to it iykwim, it's a delight to read, and the way it handles the characters is simply beautiful. it also includes one of my favorite portrayals of jehan, and definitely my favorite description of their house.

another one i haven't been able to stop thinking about is how sweet and lovely dost thou make the shame. the thing is. 10k words of pwp have no business making me this emotional. i thought about rereading rn so i could explain to you why i love it so much but im at work and do in fact have some boundaries so. just trust me ig

and lastly. i don't usually break my habit of Not Engaging With Sad, but i had to make an exception for ta bouche de ciel by @jondrettegirls, and it absolutely destroyed me. it's definitely the most difficult fic on this list so mind the warnings, but god. i feel like it reached into my soul and rearranged my organs. thank you lucy <3

i'm also going to link lucy's and shosh's fic recs because i trust them (when they're not tormenting me for their entertainment). love and light

[burning-sol]

i am thinking to myself "hmmm i wanna do a ranking of my fav jrwi pcs" BUT IM SO TORN?? like. what do i rank them based on??? i like them all for different reasons?????

fuck. like how do i compare my yucky gucky man rand to rumiracle me sparkling magical girl. they are disasters in difficult to immediately compare ways. some pcs i like because theyre goofy and others i like because theyve got so much going on!!! i fucking love thanatos cause he's thanatos and jay because she's a girlboss like what the fuck.

you know what FUCK IT!! CATEGORIES!!! (even some of THESE were hard to rank so yeah subject to change... some of these are nonsensical dont look too deep into it)

STRONGEST ATTACHMENTS IN CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER:

1. gillion (the original blorbo) 2. exandroth (INTENSE but took a while to set in and i hate him) 3. rand (late comer but now am an avid lover of)

HAS MY SYMPTOMS:

1. rand (gross and psychotic) 2. gillion (dissociation for realsies) 3. rumi (complete identity confusion) 4. exandroth (loud, impulsive, self centered, god complex) 5. kian (depressed in a life threatening way) 6. rolan (depressed in a slowburn way)

SAME TRAUMA:

1. gillion (wanted validation and affection to the point of killing people, hiding pain including physical ailments) 2. rand (unemployed, dyfunctional and needing to rely on others, having scary symptoms, dealing with substance abuse) 3. jay (primal fear of parental figure and trying to run away but also feeling trapped)

SAME JOYS:

1. peter sqloint (OH MY GOSH LOOK AT THAT ROCK!!! oh the BLISS of pointing at that thing and explaining the thing!!) 2. exandroth (*LAUGHS MANIACALLY*) 3. thanatos (very content with big weapon) 4. gillion (i love my friends!!! i would take a bullet for you!!!)

HEADCANON EMPOWERED:

1. exandroth (whole character is hc at this point so ranked 1st) 2. rand (schizo girl!!!) 3. kian (god what a mess) 4. angelstone (but only post-campaign p much) 5. rolan (adhd AND insert spoilers) 6. gillion (HE'S A FISH!!!!) 7. peter sqloint (making him slightly more interesting than you'd think)

JUST A GUY:

1. rolan (just a guy) 2. peter sqloint (just a guy but slightly too funny to be ranked 1st)

SAYS THEIR OWN NAME AND IT'S FUNNY:

1. thanatos 2. goobleck!! 3. GILLION!!! 4. peter SQloint 5. exandrothh

IMPERSONATED ON ACCIDENT:

1. goobleck (i had this voice during a school excursion, it was attrocious and it hurt my throat and im ranking it 1st because of the horrors) 2. gillion (not a vocal impersonation but when gillion went brooding in the fey wild i became 'evil' and just like gillion it only last a short while before i went into an emotional breakdown so yeah) 3. peter sqloint (was a very funny voice but didn't scar my psyche like the other two so ranked 3rd little guy) 4. exandroth...?

MOST EXANDROTH:

1. all the exandroth introjects (haiii i love youuu) 2. exandroth (relatively exandroth im neutral on this guy) 3. xander (called og exandroth a loser, doesnt identify with the guy so he's obv less exandroth) 4. the different interpretations of exandroth in my head that all fought each other that one time (i don't know who won)

WET AND PATHETIC:

1. chip (just look at him) 2. peter sqloint (just look at him) 3. rand (just look at him) 4. rolan (just look at him) 5. exandroth (because she is SO fucking insecure!! girl get it together!!! sopping wet beast what a mess!!!!) 6. jay (just a tad pathetic when she's not girlbossing)

ACEAROSPEC RANKS THE ATTRACTIVE PPL:

1. gillion (fuck im i love... guy actually :flushed:) 2. rand (i want to smoke with this guy and make out even if he's gross) 3. jay (if she twirled my hair in her hand i would instantly EXPLODE) 4. kian (has that sort of vibe that i associate with someone in my life who i like so yeah) 5. rumi (drop dead gorgeous but ranked last because i would be so intimidated like rumi is too perfect for me you know what i mean) 6. exandroth (analyse whatever freudian bs is happening here, idk i like an offputting guy thats also an eldritch horror and nonbinary im into that)

MOST LIKELY TO HOLD HANDS WITH:

1. jay (obvious choice, warm hand, easy to lean up against) 2. rumi (i am nervous and you are pretty help) 3. rolan (mutually scared people holding hands) 4. exandroth (i trust this guy) 5. peter (clammy hands we have clammy hands i dont even know where we're walking)

I'M SORRY I DON'T TALK ABOUT YOU MORE:

1. chip (we do not have the same trauma) 2. thanatos (why did bizly make your character like that im so mad i love you but you have been slaughtered by your creator) 3. goobleck (IM SO SORRY I LOVE YOU GOOBLECK!! EVEN IF OTHERS DONT APPRECIATE YOU!!!) 4. peter (I LOVE YOU TOO!! MY BOY!!!)

NON-HUMAN I WOULD TRUST MY LIFE WITH:

1. thanatos (structurally sound and killed gods so we're set) 2. exandroth (biased but i would feel safe with an angel eldritch horror even if she has her flaws) 3. gillion (an obvious choice!!! please protect me) 4. spoilers (oh yeah that thing is a bug you got this) 5. rumi (i socially feel safe with you but physically i would be getting nervous) 6. goobleck (i would rank you higher but i have vivid imagery in my head of you going SPLAT and i cannot shake this)

BROWN HAIRED GUYS:

1. chip (he's vintage, you know? anyways probably cares way too much abt his hair to let it be destroyed) 2. rand (he definitely has greasy hair like he needs a shower but he smells like smoke so i have a bias) 3. peter (dandruff) 4. i can imagine all these guys potentially having lice and that makes me very uncomfortable so fuck this why did i come up with this category

GIRLBOSS:

1. jay (EMBODIMENT of girlboss!!) 2. exandroth (she's a big cringefail but super girlboss) 3. kian (that one image of the anime girl in a room thats a mess with the text "MY GIRLBOSS EMPIRE IS CRUMBLING")

GRIZZLY:

1. rumi (sorry but you can't beat a classic) 2. kian stone (KIAN STONE!! *GUITAR RIFF*)

CHARLIE:

1. exandroth (legally obligated) 2. gillion (equal homicidal intent AND fish) 3. peter sqloint (he's so... sqloint) 4. goobleck (goobleck)

CONDI:

1. rolan (sad!!) 2. jay (i LOVE you girl!!)

BIZLY:

1. chip (not my cup of tea but he's pretty funny) 2. thanatos (i love him) 3. timothy rand (you know he's a guy that does weed)

FUNNIEST PONIFICATION:

1. rand (WEED PONY) 2. thanatos (because he's thanatos)

ANIME GIRLS:

1. exandroth (she deserves it) 2. rumi (they are already a magical girl) 3. gillion (gillion is out here killing evil things like a magical girl too, fucking spectacular) 4. rolan (i imagined rolan girl with a grey streak in her hair so this is too hilarious to pass up) 5. rand (one of those anime weird girls im down with that) 6. kian (also writing this down to note she should keep the abs)

MINECRAFT:

1. goobleck (you met it on a server and it was really funny and you two are now friends forever) 2. thanatos (beats your ass in every competitive game but thinks youre good enough to team with despite you feeling bad and pathetic at the game) 3. rand (has been banned several times for swearing and being stupid but every time he's back you love him more) 4. rumi (has minecraft builds that blow your mind theyre so pretty) 5. peter (has minecraft builds that blow your mind for.. other reasons. needs some improvement. i like the big rock though. this guy keeps infodumping abt and he loved the addition of andesite btw) 6. jay (she is a hacker and is flying around like no one's business and got banned and was sad posting "i thought it was funny :(( please let me back in")

HONOURABLE MENTIONS

chip. just him. idk. i think he needs it.

i should have stopped this list over half an hour ago so yeah that's it I got way too lost in this sorry....

(maybe i will do more or redo this later because it was pretty fun)

[timottea]

okay @softhecreator you asked for some inexplicable reason for my bones and all thoughts and this is a shambles i am a mess but sof i feel like you'll understand

SO bones and all

basically end me

there were tears

twice actually

once at the end of course because oh my god when the music plays over him screaming his guts out nooooo no it took me back to fuckin sirius falling through the veil there's just something about quiet music playing over absolute agony HAHA BYE pain pain pain

the way he just keeps repeating those words as if maren could actually go through with it AND THEN SHE DOES SHE HAS NO CHOICE PAIIIN FHFJGG

and then next second luca the masochist cuts to a clean apartment no blood no trace of lee fuck you luca

then the coffee shop scene so soft so sweet and when the "you seem nice" "i AM nice" nope ouch

also when the camera moves as if you're maren looking at lee and it pans over his body starting from his elbow GOD idk why that affected me so much

like he's right there in front of you this other mirror this piece of yourself it's sitting right there watching you watching yourself SEEING yourself through him and you can't fucking keep eye contact it's too much

and watching maren discover that she is him he is her i could write a fucking essay

not as gory as i thought considering the subject matter

dare i say tastefully done

moving on

lee's little shoestring belt and cardigan fit was a LOOK

and that scene in the field on the hill and lee's death grip on maren's top as if she's all that's keeping him together oh my god

also the opening scene is so luca i almost started sobbing there and then

just all the textures on the paintings and the colours

so beautiful, the entire film is a masterpiece every frame every palette everyyyyythinngggg

"we could be people"

the little moments throughout the roadtrip like a beautiful mosaic ughhhhhg

the soft car scenes when either of them are sleeping

the whole discussion around keeping the truck until it breaks down my sentimental heart

maren's scene with her mother when i tell you i knocked my drink over i'm sure you'll understand

the soundtrack THE SOUNDTRACKKKKK so good

joy division on a ferris wheel what more could you want

but for balance the cringiest thing was timothée dancing to kiss like yes free spirit stupid fedora wearing disenfranchised indie cannibal i see the intent but all i saw was lanky baguette IM SORRY

however genuinely up there with his best performances

it's just so different but makes perfect sense for him like you can tell he put his entire soul into lee

boy really can't compete with taylor tho

this film is alllllll taylor's

her delivery of "all i think is that i love you" when i tell you my soul ascended to a higher plain

tho i do do get that thing people are saying

you miss lee when he's not on screen he's such a PRESENCE even when he's so obviously broken

basically i loved it so good luca is incredible but then what else is new

[loveyourlovelysoul]

Im sorry for bothering you.

I try my best everyday, but sometimes it's like I free fall into a darkness..when it lasts I feel awful about myself and can't stop thinking ablout everything that went wrong in my life. I lose the will to live and have to bring myself back from it.

Do you have any suggestions to blogs or hashtags I can scroll on tumblr that can soothe me in my darkest moments? Like inspire me and console me..i try to go through #happy or #wholesome tags but any recommendation is welcomed

Hey, you're not bothering me. I know it's hard to believe it cause our minds are always doing an amazing job in making us look at things in a twisted fake way, to keep us stuck and make us feel unworthy and guilty (and we always end up believing them cause the story seems realistic), but you have nothing to feel awful for. You're not a failure, at all. Keep being gentle with yourself, and keep trying at our own pace. You're doing an amazing job and, for what is worth from an unknown person online, I am honestly really proud of you. I kinda wanted to write a little more but that's probably not the point of your ask, so let's move on to the good stuff :)

Is there anything more specific that can bring you joy or soothe you? Like puppies/dogs? Kitties? Frogs? Beautiful landscapes? Sea? Mountains? Forests (color green is generally healing so maybe nature's photos may help you)? Art? Paintings of a specific Age or subject? Movies you like(d)? Maybe you can look up for something like that in the #. As for blogs, I suggest you @/lousydrawingsforgoodpeople (nice cute drawings and words of encouragement) @/everythingfox (cute and funny videos and pics of animals) Maybe you can go on Pinterest too and make your "safe" visual board (or maybe you can make one on your phone with things you find here and there) for emergency days or just go through some nice pics and random art stuff (or anything you like). I generally look at a lot of encouraging words and small watercolor paintings (and dogs lol) and they all make me feel better. What about music? There is ambient and relaxing music too: there are Spotify's playlist (or even YT ones) exactly for this.

Take care and feel free to drop an ask anytime you feel.

[flygefisk]

OOOO OK YOU ASKED FOR PEOPLE TO ASK ABT YOUR DRAGONS IM SO DOWN, so much so im going off anon for this shit /pos gods im obsessed with howl and synder rn, the writing was phenomenal!!! Since on my side fr is doing its maintenance thingy I cannot look at your lair, but id looove to know more about them!!

Like for example, is there any more about Syndor you can lore drop about? Is he a regular ol guy (species wise) or a lil something else?

Oh and Howl!!! Im sorry if its obvious and I just missed it cause its late but what is she?? It sounds like shes some sort of badass zombie but Id love to know

OH AND i am in fact very curious about the most recent anciets you got, they are so so cool!! I adore gentle giant characters, hugging the big ladies finger rn <333 I unfortuantly dont have a lot of ideas for names for either, but the sea monster is giving me K, A, or M vibe names, ones that sound sing songy to speak!

aaaa thank u!! i have. No confidence in my writing tbh so i very much appreciate it <3

syndor, biologically, is a very average dragon. he's just been through some stuff. he is trying very hard to keep his past in the past. after all, his present is so wonderful.

howl's meant to be a little bit unfathomable, so fair! but they're not a zombie- the body they're in is totally alive. mortal, even. it bleeds! it hungers! i guess they were reincarnated, but with more intent.

i had written more about what howl was before their death but didn't like the pacing, so i scrapped it. the tl;dr version is she was a girl (who was actually transmasc/genderqueer in an era where that was not an option), murdered by a suitor. a wild god found the body, found the wild thing that was howl, and gave it a new life. their initial story + the scrapped portion is under the cut if you want the whole thing!

howl and syndor are kinda two sides of the same coin- howl is completely free from its past, living in the present, happy. i'm not sure how much they remember of their last life. syndor, though, is hiding from his past, it sits like a shackle holding him back. he lives in the present, not out of the joy of life, but because he can never go back and feels he doesn't have a future.

they're good for each other like that. syndor helps howl navigate a new world, howl helps syndor find his own way.

tbh i was kinda thinking calypso for her! iiii haven't had a lot of time to think about either of them tbh, its been. a rough week asfsds

once, long ago, there was a girl. this girl was a farmer's daughter, loved by all in the village for her kindness and beauty.

the girl had many suitors. carpenters, merchants, knights, all loved the girl. she never courted any, though. her father hoped she would marry, find some wealthy husband who could support her, and was always quietly disappointed when she turned them away at the door.

the girl knew what she was supposed to do. she often spent time with the other girls in the village, laughing at their talk of boys and secret kisses and nights spent hidden away together. she knew she was meant to marry a man and have his children and clean his home.

to the girl, this sounded like hell on earth.

the girl had something she was hiding- something that lived within her, something wild and angry, that she could not describe. the something rioted against the idea of being a housewife, reviled the thought of motherhood.

its snarls and howls grew louder and louder with every suitor. she was sure that one day, the something would eat her alive.

-

once, long ago, there was a prince. this prince enjoyed traveling his country, meeting folks from all walks of life, giving gifts that, to him, were pocket change, and, to his subjects, were life-changing. it would be easy to assume this habit made the prince a kind man.

the prince met the farmer's daughter, and was struck by her beauty. he took her polite smile and sweet laughter as acceptance of his courtship.

the prince gave the girl and her family lavish gifts- jewelry, silken gowns, bottles of fine wine each costing more than her home. the girl's parents were overjoyed, of course. they would be nobility, if she married the prince, rich beyond their wildest dreams.

the wild something in the girl howled every time she saw the prince. it snarled when he kissed her hand, screeched when he placed another golden chain round her neck.

she imagined its teeth gnawing at her bones, so full of hatred it tore its own skin with sharp fangs and claws. she imagined her own mouth full of fangs like that. she imagined those teeth tearing into the prince's throat. ripping out his honeyed words. clawing out his selfish eyes. staining that fine silk and velvet with dark blood.

how sweet that would be.

-

once, long ago, there was a farmer. he had a daughter, a kind and beautiful girl loved by all who met her. and his daughter had a suitor, a prince who loved the girl.

the farmer loved his daughter, and wanted her to be happy. he felt that she was unhappy sometimes, though she always wore a sweet smile, and he felt it was due to their lifestyle. he was certain if she married the prince, she would be happy. safe from poor harvests and harsh winters. warm, well-fed, and happy.

the prince came calling one day, while the girl was out, so the farmer happily told him where she had gone. the farmer hoped today would be the day the prince proposed.

the girl was picking berries along the creek- she loved walking in the forest, listening to the sounds of the wind and birds and insects rather than the incessant chatter of the village. quiet and peaceful. the wild something was angrier than it had ever been, but it seemed calmer in the forest.

until her quiet afternoon was interrupted. the prince on his white horse, his voice so loud and vain and self-obsessed. the girl's father had been right, the prince had come to ask the girl to marry him. again.

no, she said, for the dozenth time. the wild something growled. he asked again, insistent and irritating. the wild something snarled. again and again he asked, until it was more of a command than a question, and the wild something howled and bit and clawed until it leapt from her throat, her sweet voice full of rage as she rejected him once and for all.

the flash of metal, the tearing of fabric, of skin. the spilling of blood.

she died with his blood under her nails.

-

once, long ago, there was a god. it was a wild, ancient god, one of blood and lust and life. a forest god.

the god scented blood on the air, civilized blood. it cared little for civilized folks, as most gods do. it cared little whether they lived or died. but it was a curious god, so it tracked the scent, bounding on deers' hooves to its source.

the god's paws left no tracks in the bloodsoaked earth around the creature's remains. it touched the weapon buried in the thing's stomach, ran its talons over the strange covering it wore, brushed a bit of hair from its face. the god considered the creature for a moment: its face contorted in rage, its hands and coverings stained dark. there was another scent here, under the obvious blood and rot, one even more familiar to the god.

a wild something, indescribable even to the god of such things, coiled around the body that was once its own. it stared up at the god, its teeth bared. the god raised its head and howled in its many voices, joined soon by the wolves and coyotes and hawks and hares of the forest, in a mournful harmony of all wild things.

the something howled too, until its song became a scream, letting loose all the sorrow and love and rage of a life that would never have been enough.

the forest went silent. the god lowered its head and nuzzled the something, like a doe to her fawn, like a bear to her cub. wild things understand each other. they understand the cycle, that nothing lasts forever and nothing really dies. the god understood the something's desperate plea, no need for words.

another chance.

-

once, not so long ago, there was a man. he walked through an overgrown forest, dirt on his hands and his shovel. he loved walking in the forest, listening to the sounds of nature. it was calming.

he paused near a burbling creek to wash the sweat from his face. he sighed in grim satisfaction- tired, sore, numb. but it was over.

the man realized, after staring into the water for long minutes, that something was different. wrong. the forest was silent here. his eye was drawn to a large stone behind him- half his height or more, veined with black and glittering white patches. on its face, a handprint made of something dark.

a strange impulse took over, something wild within him, and he began to dig.

a scraping sound. crumbling earth. cracking twigs. then, light. sunlight. warm and bright and so welcome after so long in the dirt.

the creature reached out from its grave. its hands- long, clawed, discolored- shook as it pulled itself up. it blinked against the morning light, yawned as though waking from a long nap.

it almost didn't notice the man with the shovel. he stared at it, his expression unreadable. it ignored him, letting the world wash over it: a cool breeze on its face, the sound of the water, of birds and insects, of wind through the leaves, the cloying scent of dark earth giving way to flowers and trees.

finally, the man held out a hand- blistered, covered in soil- and the creature let him pull it from the earth.

the man removed his cloak, wrapping it around the creature's broad shoulders. it rubbed the fabric between its clawed fingers- soft, warm, dark like good soil- and smiled. it should have been frightening, with its sharp teeth, but the man just smiled back.

wild things understand each other.

[soft-enbee]

the moon isn't a woman nor is it called she what are you on

Uhm, atleast in spanish (my mother tounge) the moon has a femenine gramatical gender. Its La Luna, not El Luna /nm

Also, is Artemis, a moon goddess (with a masculine sun counterpart in apollo) not something you are familiar with? Just to show that the concept that moon and femininity being associated is not something i made up, and has in fact been around since atleast ancient greece. (probably since before then, but im not familiar with every single culture out there)

Here is a link if you want to read about her.

Also, responding to the other ask. I double checked, and yes, im sorry, neutrality and maverique do not mix. Im sorry for the confusion. I meant "not man or woman or in between".

Im sorry that my language (lexicon?? Is that a word that applies here?) Is not perfect, English is my second language (Spanish is, im mexican) and even though i consider myself pretty good at it im not an expert.

Feel free to correct me about misuse of terms or language in the future, i am always looking to be better at communicating.

Better yet, correct me about anything im wrong on (with sources pretty please? I want to trust everyone but i must be wary, misinformation can run rampant these days! Plus, sources give me places to read up and be informed)

All i ask is you are kind in your corrections. I do not appreciate the the tone with which these two asks were sent. I just shared my subjective, empirical experience with my own personal gender, simply because i wanted to share my happiness! Being a demigirl is something i find joy in being, and i shared it in a space specifically made for demigirls to share their experiences.

(God im so nervous to post this please let this not blow up on my face)

[onebookcharacter]

it's real hard having special interests that are widely seen as cringy because you're constantly alternating between apologizing to yourself and others if you ever so much as mention it and bravely being cringy on purpose. and then internally you just rly rly wish it weren't cringy

[anauro]

it’s so confusing to me and i’m trying to educate myself but i get so much backlash when i ask and i get it no one owes someone to help educate them but then they ask why people aren’t educated on a subject it’s like no one will explain

how can you identify as a man and still want to be pregnant? does that not go against your gender identity? i understand some people can’t afford bottom surgery but wouldn’t getting pregnant as a trans male go against who you are considering giving birth is well a women or i guess nb thing?

im not trying to be hateful or rude i’m just curious and trying to learn

Hi anon,

I am not a trans man, so I may not be the best person to address this. I know there are trans men following me, but currently none has this information in their bio, so I will not be tagging them. They can interact with this post if they’d like to.

I will put the rest under the cut, because it's a sensitive topic and some people may not want to read it. I will also tag your ask with warnings, even though I understand you are just curious. Don't take it the wrong way, it is just to avoid dysphoria in people who'd rather not read this.

My advice would be to either google this (quora and reddit has plenty of threads like that) or ask a trans man directly.

I can provide my opinion as a person who isn't cis, but I don't see myself as a man either.

So.

In my opinion, genitals are not something that define you or your gender identity. A trans man may chose to undergo full surgical transition or may stay in the body they were born in and not even go on hormonal treatment. Trans men who aren't on T or who don't bind are just as much men and as valid as the rest of the male identifying community.

I believe this is the first thing you, anon, need to understand. Genitals do not equal gender. Not all trans people want to change their bodies and their genitals. Not only is this a painful, long and expensive process, it is also a risky one and sometimes it's just something that's not desired by the person in question.

I personally am not happy in my current body, I find it too feminine and gross, but it brings me great joy to think there are trans and nb folks out there who don't experience that. I don't identify with they/them pronouns, I go by she/he but am AFAB. For that reason, consuming trans men media (reading, writing, art, porn) feels very euphoric to me. I don't always relate to them, I wouldnt want to be viewed as strictly a man (I like both), but my anatomy relates closer to trans men than it does to trans women or cis women. It makes me feel happy to write trans male characters, simply put.

A man with a vagina or a woman with a penis is perfectly valid.

People who are born with a uterus can choose to use it and I don't think the desire to have biological children invalidates their gender identity. This mentality that pregnancy is a women-unique experience is a social construct and nothing more.

If you want to understand the trans and nb community, you must first understand that nothing in this world belong strictly to one gender only. Anyone can wear suits. Anyone can wear dresses and heels. Anyone can have a penis. Anyone can be pregnant.

Pregnancy for me is something extremely dysphoric. Even before I realised I am not cis, I have had extreme reservations about it. If I ever become pregnant, I would consider myself a pregnant man cause the mentality that I am a pregnant woman would be too damaging for me.

So to wrap it up, this is not a trans man talking, but a genderfluid person. You, anon, need to get rid of this 'x is a women's thing and y is a men' thing' mentality. Or that the state of one's body and their organs and genitals define them. Gender roles are a social construct and a very harmful one.

If anything in this post is factually incorrect or transphobic, please feel free to point it out to me. I too am still learning and always willing to be pointed out where my obnoxiousness or privilege is showing. Similarly, if I missed a tag - let me know asap!

Lastly, I'd like people to not comment on the personal things I described here. If you know me a bit better (aka if we talked one to one on discord), then feel free to message me, but otherwise I am sorry, but I don't care what people think of my personal experiences.

[9w1ft]

twinning admin here once again! sorry i should probably just shut up, but... it's really fun to have this conversation with you! you're really smart and well-spoken and bring up so many good points, it's hard to not engage, haha.

your tangent in particular really opened my eyes..... it just? makes so much sense? not just from a gaylor/kaylor's perspective, but from the perspective of taylor as a whole. maintaining a fierce voice in the political and social landscape is really not easy, especially considering that in the general public's eye, she's a polarising celebrity who's been under scrutiny - for instance, if she endorses something good, haters may be inclined to go against her and that thing instead (her precarious reputation as a two-faced snake from the olden years is why she didn't publicly express her support for hillary lest things went south). but if she stays silent, it'll be taken negatively too. either way, anything she says can be and will be used against her or whatever the subject of her words are, which is why i'd rather she act more often to showcase her values instead. donations, diverse representation in music videos, and supporting small artists are a good step in the right direction, hope she keeps on going that way.

back to gaylorism - i personally don't care about being right, i just enjoy this niche corner kaylor has created as well as, what you describe, the love story of our generation 💗 thank you and other wonderful kaylor/gaylor blogs out on here for your incredible attention to detail and queer readings of taylor's songs. her music is already amazing, but reading it through the gaylor/kaylor lens elevates it for me, haha. have a nice day, 9w1.

p.s. plz do let me know if i should shut up now i'd hate to be clogging up your asks haha

haha oh my goodness never feel the need to shut up! just please don’t anybody take it personally if i don’t get to an ask. im kinda new to the anon inbox thing and i don’t get to them all. i do my best to read and think about each of them though ☺️

i am so happy to hear you are finding joy in reading through these things! at the end of the day, thinking about these stories should be something that enriches your life / worth the time you spend reading them.

you have a nice day too!

[gammagoop]

@3000-200-grains-of-salt

well first of all, thank you so much! i'm really glad, because thats exactly what i strive to achieve :D

and also thank you for letting me talk about these things because i loooooove rambling

here's the list (the last life members were added manually so sorry if they look a bit odd) ->

all of these rankings are subject to change, but this is where i'm at right now!

the second tier might seem like a bit of an odd distinction from the first, and it is, because it describes a kind of abstract 'vibe' i get from them that i'm not sure how to communicate to other people :p

here's some more in-depth thoughts about a handful of these:

under the cut because it got looooooooongggg

these are in reference to how i see their 'base state', basically just how they are most consistently. beef is human even though he became alien-ish in season 8, whereas cub changes visually because i think he just does that regardless of season or lore. (can't pin him down! one episode he is a normal man and the next theres something Different)

i also am not taking into account the empires server, because unlike hermitcraft or the life series, those guys are specifically designated as characters in a story-- so it doesnt have bearing on that 'base state'

i've tossed around hybrid ideas for false before (eagle is popular in fanon i think, but i also thought it would be cool if she were a bat [mcc9 is close to my heart]) but i think she works best to me as a human

i debated where the last 4 people in the 'normal human' tier should go tbh. impulse and skizz read as normal guys to me but i also haven't completely settled on that with them. bigb is like. the sweetest person ever which made me thing hrmmm maybe he's *inhumanly* nice but no i think its important he's human because inhuman kindness is actually extremely human and beautiful. and jimmy..... jimmy.... let me make another bullet point for him

if anything jimmy would go in the second tier. i know the canary curse thing is popular fanon and i think that's fun but honestly, in a similar way to bigb, i think thats just the way humans can be sometimes (obviously, since jimmy is actually a real human) and im so attached to the concept of people being 'supernatural' in extremely natural ways. i always find a way to bring in my philosophies when i talk about this stuff........ anyways . what i mean with jimmy is that you might think he is cursed and doomed but actually its just a bad string of events and he will thrive despite them

etho...................................................... my etho thoughts are so lengthy idk if i can put them all here

honestly keralis could be anything. i think keralis is hilarious because no one really agrees on how to draw him, and it's highly dependent on any one artist's style. because his skin is cartoonish and irl he's just an adult man with a big grey beard and i feel like even his voice is a wildcard. i can't pin keralis. i never could

joel. joel. i am a joel fan 5ever. i dont have much else to say about him...... other than i think we as a people should start giving him more facial hair. i'm doing my part. are you?

everyone in the 3rd tier from the top except stress is like. they are completely visually human but they're not *actually* human and i, me, mason, haven't decided on what exactly makes them inhuman. its just their aura

whereas stress (the exception) is completely visually human but she has a bunch of weird beady eyes under her hair swoop (you can kind of see them in my hermitaday stress). hence, stress monster. but she's not a 'monster' in terms of personality. she's full of joy.

cub and pearl are similar in terms of i think they change appearance sometimes. cub moreso than pearl. i think it just kind of.... happens.... with cub. he's like innately tied to supernatural happenings (not just through convex) so he's just kinda visually unpredictable. personality wise he is always the same, though. wheras pearl is like some sort of celestial body who you would genuinely believe is human until like a full moon or something where she can't keep the appearance up. that's my pearl lore. she's very grounded and human in terms of personality though

scar. scar? idk. similar to cub except he changes appearance for like. 'roles'. i dont even Know with scar. he's like mostly human but sometimes he got elf ears. what's up with that guy. idk that's scar.

the only one in the 'nonhuman/hybrid' tier that i dont have a set 'species' for is tango. he could be like an elemental or something.....? or he's just a weird humanoid. ? shrugs. cave beast this season.

all the others there are p obvious though. cleo zombie gem deer ren dog jevin slime (i dont actually watch jevin that much but he was an obvious pick for this category soooo)

doc gets his own tier because he has so much going on. not a fiber of his body is human. god bless

i think? thats all

if i made any typing errors in that just ignore it pls... if it bothers me too much i'll edit the post to fix it once i get the energy to read back over these . passes out

saw your ask for the canon/fanon/your design challenge, have you done skizz?

tempting because i love drawing skizz but honestly my design for him isn’t all that different from canon or even fanon

i know the fanon right now is that he’s an angel/part angel but recently i’m not the biggest participator in hybrid designs :p

(i answered this ask and then proceeded to use this ask as an excuse to ramble about some of my design process….)

i do think its really cute though, especially when paired with demon impulse, because their personalities don’t perfectly match what would be expected from angels and demons typically.

skizz is wayyy more chaotic and impulse is betrayed more times than he betrays other people, just as examples, yet i still find the designs fun as a duo!

(begs the question though — angel and demon from what? the christian heaven and hell? the minecraft heaven and hell? is this a watcher lore thing that i don’t know about because i don’t keep up with the watcher lore? probably none of those actually, it doesnt really need explained [like how theres no explanation really needed for how cleo’s a sentient zombie, its all for fun])

i don’t really do hybrid designs as much as fanon does because my goal with designing them is to capture their vibe, or how i perceive their personality. like a person who’s watched a lot of hermitcraft but has never seen hermitcraft fanart could look at my drawing and say “i’m almost certain that’s bdubs”. and doing hybrids doesnt always fit in to that for me! you’ve probably noticed i’ve gone super back and forth on my zed design, particularly whether he should have long or short hair and whether he should be a sheep hybrid or not. i’m partial to the ‘not’ but i havent really decided yet— we’ll see!

though if a person’s mc skin is already a hybrid or if that just fits well with their energy (ren the canonical dog ; gem just reads as a deer/similar to me) i do draw them as that! i just don’t always hop on fanon hybrids, like grian is never an avian or any other hybrid in my recent drawings, and etho has become more and more human as well, etc.

i should make a chart or something of how i choose these things. like a tierlist— human to nonhuman. would anyone want that. would anyone be interested. leave a comment below if you are intwrested and dont forget to subscribe and smash that. fucking like button 🫡

[anyonghalimaw]

taking responsibility

today i have realized the error of my ways and would like to sincerely apologize to the communities i have hurt: that being white people, and fandom communities. over the past few years i have said and done many many hurtful things to these people and i will outline my mistakes and subsequent change of heart below.

for several years i have incorrectly believed that i held no power over white people. i understand now that this is wrong and that every single time i joked about white people being unable to cook, or having horrible taste, or being self centered, or being obtuse, i was in fact contributing to harmful stereotypes that have tangible real world consequences, including deaths. i am sincerely sorry. racism against white people does exist and its victims deserve to be taken seriously and supported. as of today, me and my husband @reverseracismrealist will be actively working to undo all the damage we have done to white communities, and unlearn our prejudices and biases.

i also owe an apology to fandom communities. they are wonderful and creative people who simply want to enjoy what they enjoy and have been needlessly and unfairly subjected to harassment from pretentious crowds of people who see themselves as being high above so-called "low brow" entertainment. they deserve better than to be attacked on the website built by fandom, for fandom. let people enjoy things is a mantra i have mocked in the past, but i realize that it truly is better to let people enjoy what they enjoy, even if it isnt my own personal cup of tea. who am i to dictate what other people enjoy?

specifically, i must apologize to people who enjoy the marvel cinematic universe, as it is an amazing collaborative effort and i have no right to deride the people who find joy and comfort in it, as well as finding community in other people who feel the same. after all, how would i feel if those same people harassed me for my own interests? i am sorry to people who enjoy and donate to ao3 as well. it is an important website which provides creative freedom to those suppressed by fandom censorship and purity culture. if they wish to donate to it to support a safe space like that, they should have the freedom to do so without derision or harassment.

i promise that i will do better in the future, and i thank you all for your support.

APRIL FOOLS IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY