#SOMETHING JUST HAS TO INFECT MY BRAIN BUT THEN!!!!
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₊˚ʚ Rain in the woods (Ford Pines x fem!reader) ₊˚✧ ゚.
part 3
author note: wow. oh. I can’t believe i finished this :')
this ridiculous, tender unhinged love letter to Ford (and to all of you) has been such a wild ride. tbh i started writing this fic as a half-joke, half-desperate need to get the scenario out of my head and now it’s grown into something so much more intimate than i ever imagined
to everyone who liked, reblogged, who wrote to me such wonderful sweet comments - i read every one and I love you more than Ford loves overthinking. seriously :) your support means everything, and I hope you'll like this final chapter. I’m so grateful for you all <3
ALSO sorry if there are a lot of kisses here….... ummm well I mean, you can't really blame me bc if Ford had let me, I would have just eaten him whole
nsfw, minors DNI
You don’t notice, but his hands are trembling when he reaches for the first aid kit he’d somehow already brought with him. Had he been planning this? Or maybe. . . he just couldn’t stay away, couldn’t bear the thought of you trying to deal with it on your own.
Ford tries to maintain his usual level of calm composure, but the sight of your exposed thigh makes it so much harder than he anticipated. He feels so conflicted, his thoughts are somewhere between concern, desire and disgusting guilt. He’s a scientist, an explorer, a goddamned professional, not some pathetic old man fantasising about—
“This is going to sting,” Ford warns, trying to not look at your underwear along with your exposed body parts. He can’t be the one to make you uncomfortable now, not when you’re already in pain. “I’ll try to be quick, but it will hurt. I won’t push it, but. . . you need to stay still.”
He avoids meeting your wide, doe-like, scared, no, more like nervous eyes. Those eyes had undone him countless times before, always so trusting, so impossibly soft, curious, full of life. He dies every time when you look at him like that.
“Yes, okay,” you answer, though you’re not sure if it’s for him or for you. He pours the disinfectant into a cotton pad and just as he prepares to press it to your skin, you tense. “Ford, please. . . be gentle, okay?”
“I will, if it’s too much just tell me.” Ford still doesn’t dare meet your eyes, not when he knows his own will betray him. Instead, he focuses on the wound, on the crimson smear of blood that trickles down your skin. But it’s not that damn injury he wants to fix, it’s you, all of you. He wants to be needed by you, to be the one who makes you whole again.
Ford prepares himself and trying his best, he gently presses the cotton pad to your skin what makes you gasp, oh, sweet mercy, that voice of yours. It’s all he can do to stop himself from leaning in and capturing your lips in tender kiss, getting between your legs and taking you right there. He keeps going, though, his big hands too careful, like you’re made of porcelain. He doesn’t want to hurt you, never, but he just wishes he could be inside you right now, show you how much he’s desperate for you.
“Ahh! Ford, h-hurts!” your fingers are gripping his wrist so tight, nails digging in, and fuck, he shouldn’t be thinking this. You are hurt, in pain, for god’s sake, but all he can see is you beneath him, making those same sounds for an entirely different reason as he makes love to you.
“Shh, I know, I know it does. I know, but you have to let me do this. If I don’t, the wound could get infected. Tetanus, sepsis are not things to take lightly.”
Goddamn, why he’s so close to places he shouldn’t even be thinking about. You’re laying there so beautiful, helpless, voice pleading with him to stop, it’s driving Ford crazy. His cock twitches in his pants and he hates himself for it, hates how his mind creates an image of you crying out his name like that, begging him to keep going instead of to stop.
He feels the throb in his chest, but in his groin too.
“N-no more, fuck, ugh!” obviously it’s a plea for mercy, but to his traitorous brain, it sounds like—
Ford frowns, looking way too serious than usual as he tries to make his dirty thoughts go away, tries to focus on the wound and not the way your skin feels, but goddamn why are you so soft and warm and why he’s so damn close to you. And then his gaze betrays him, lowering down to the curve of your inner thigh, so close to where the hem of your panties teases him mercilessly.
“That’s enough, please!” you begin, biting down on your lip as the pain grows.
“Don’t move too much, it’ll hurt more,” Ford’s tone sounds rougher than he meant to. “I’m almost done.”
She’s in pain, you disgusting old idiot. She’s fucking suffering and you’re—
“Please, stop!”
Ford freezes, stiffening. That’s enough, you’d said, but it’s not, it’s fucking not. It’s never enough. Not your skin, not your voice, not the way you cling to him, not the way you beg, not the way you look at him.
The cotton pad is soaked now in your blood too, pressing too hard against your skin before Ford even realises it. You wince, gasping again and Ford can't help it anymore. His eyes drop to your panties, how they hug your body and his cock twitches in his pants.
He’s a grown man. He should be able to handle this. But all he can see is you, laid out before him like this, looking at him with those needy eyes, begging him to take you, to fuck you.
“Just sit sti—” before he finishes his sentence, he unintentionally presses the cotton harder into your wound, too lost in his own fantasies and the sharp burst of pain makes you hiss so you move involuntarily, your leg jerking straight into his crotch and—
You feel it.
Your foot accidentally brushes against something unmistakably hard. You didn’t mean to move that way, absolutely. But the second your limb drags against him, you feel it. The hardness beneath his pants. His body reacting to you. To this.
And neither of you move.
Ford is first to speak.
“I— I’m sorry,” he blurts. ���It’s a natural physiological response. Adrenaline, heightened states of focus, they can trigger. . . well, unintended reactions. Nothing to do with— nothing to do with you.”
The sharp pain in your thigh momentarily forgotten. “Physiological response?” you repeat. “Ford, are you seriously trying to explain away your. . . uh, situation with biology?”
“It’s not what you think. It’s involuntary. Biological. A man’s body doesn’t always obey his mind. It doesn’t mean anything.”
He sounds so awkward, so flustered and you don’t know what to think. He’s not usually like this. . . well, not around you. Around you, he’s always so collected, always the smart, serious, intellectual Stanford Pines who wouldn’t bat an eye at anything that didn’t involve research.
You try to click pieces together, processing. He feels something for you. That’s the only explanation. He wouldn’t be this flustered, this desperate to excuse himself, if he didn’t.
And now you know. Ford’s just as human as the rest of us. And he wants you, too.
You move again, brushing your leg against him again and Ford wants to die because he makes the loudest surprised gasp in the room. “Doesn’t mean anything, huh?” you ask innocently. “so if I just move like this—” you press just a little firmer, feeling him growing harder. “it’s still just biology. Nothing to do with me at all?”
He’s silent.
“Ford, Is that. . . is that really how you feel?”
He sighs and darts his hand out to grip your leg to stop your teasing. “Don’t,” he warns, saying your name. His eyes meet yours for the first time all evening. “You don’t know what you’re doing.”
His eyes stay locked on yours. You’re silent now too.
“Don’t— don’t look at me like that. You don’t understand. I. . . shouldn’t have let it go this far.”
But you do understand, more than he could ever realise.
“But why?” your foot slides all over his hard clothed length and Ford’s body responds with his needy cock twitching at your touch.
“This isn’t funny,” he bites out. “this isn’t a game. I’m not a young man, im not— I’m not what you need.”
“You don’t get to decide what I need, Ford.”
“But you’re too young—”
“Stop treating me like I’m some kid who doesn’t know what she wants. I’m an adult, Ford, an adult!”
“An adult?” he repeats, while your foot is still rubbing over his very obvious bulge. “an adult who can't even get dressed normally for the weather?”
You grin, leaning closer to his face. “uh-huh. And here you are, all worked up over me, right?” you press on his cock harder and Ford nearly finishes in his pants.
He grabs your ankle, even though he doesn’t push you away.
“This. . . now this is inappropriate.”
You rolls your foot over his bulge what makes hips buck just slightly. You bite your lip, grinning at how badly he’s losing control.
“You’re a fucking hypocrite, you know that?” you lean closer and murmur into his mouth. “you’re so worried about what I can handle, but look at you. You’re the one who’s hard as rock right now, who can’t control himself.”
“Enough, I’m serious, stop.”
“Make me.”
That’s all it takes. It’s your smirk that gets him, your teasing voice, your dirty remarks, even as you’re sprawled out on the bed with that horrible wound on your thigh.
Ford is on you in a second. His mouth crashes against yours and you don’t even realise what’s happening yet. His kiss is messy and needy, like he’s trying to consume you whole. And you give yourself to him completely, your body melting into his. Every surprised gasp of yours is swallowed by him, his big hands gripping your face as he deepens the kiss. It’s so messy, the way Ford literally fucks your mouth with his tongue.
And you can’t help but tug at his clothes, dragging him closer until he’s on top of you. Ford’s weight presses into you and your fingers tangle in his hair, pulling at it as your body presses against his, your heart pounding so hard you swear he can hear it too. Ford is barely restraining himself from ripping off the rest of your clothes, that oversized T-shirt and panties, and fucking you right here, making all his fantasies come true, which he wrote down in his journal.
His mouth devours yours like he’s starved for you, his hands yanking you closer like he’s holding on for dear life. You let him claim you, let his kiss swallow every thought in your head until there’s nothing left but him, just him, him, him, him. You’re drunk on the way he feels. His hands are everywhere, pulling and tugging at you like he’s losing control. And oh god, you feel it.
You can’t get enough of it. You want more.
Ford is too lost so he lets six-fingered hand slip lower, brushing the side of your thigh and then it lands right where it shouldn’t.
Your fresh wound.
You gasp in pain, breaking the kiss.
“Damn,” Ford instantly pulls away, and his hand is next to your wound, concern and fear are visible on his face. “i’m sorry, i didn’t—”
“Fuck it,” you interrupt, pulling him closer. “worry about that later. I need you now. Please, Ford, just kiss me again.”
But looks like Ford is interested in your wound more than in kiss now.
He’s already inspecting the bandage, ignoring your begging, his brows furrowed with guilt. “i wasn’t thinking, im sorry, does it hurt? did i—”
Why men are so stupid, you think and grab his chin, forcing him to look at you, but he talks first.
“Let me—” he clears his throat, blinking before continuing. “no, let me bandage your leg. We need to, uh, stop the bleeding.”
“Ford,” you groan. “It’s fine. It’s not even that bad now.”
“Not that bad?” he looks you with a glare that’s somehow equal parts concern and anger. “that’s not how infections work, young lady. You could lose a limb if this festers.”
You groan in frustration, rolling your eyes, but he’s already kneeling in front of you. “This is really what you’re worried about right now?” you drawl, raising your brow.
“Yes, this is what I’m worried about.”
And here he is again, between your legs, his hands are still careful as they work, bandaging your inner thigh. Ford is trying so hard not to look at the very place he’s so devastatingly close to. He pulls the knot of the bandage just too tight what makes you let out the softest, unintentional moan.
“You— you cannot make noises like that right now. Stop making this harder than it already is.”
The corners of your lips curl and you lean back on your palms, unbothered. “Says the man who’s between my legs right now.”
“You got a point,” Ford lifts his brows as he clicks his tongue, shaking his head with a rueful grin. “clever girl.”
When he finally finishes tying off the bandage, he proudly looks at the work he done and pulls away, wait, pulls away? However, you don’t let him get far. Your hands drag him back down with a force that surprises him and maybe yourself.
The kiss you pull him into is anything but delicate. It’s urgent and hungry. Ford groans against you as if you’ve stolen the last bit of air he had left. Your fingers fist the fabric at his shoulders and when he tilts his head to deepen the kiss, his tongue sweeps over your bottom lip.
“Been waiting for this,” you confess between gasps. “Ford, I need you.”
His forehead presses against yours. “You think I don’t? I’ve needed you. God, you have no idea. You drive me insane.”
“Need you,” you breathe, arching up into him. “Ford, please. . . need you so bad.” he swallows your words with another passionate kiss, this one deeper, slower. His teeth catch your bottom lip, pulling a whimper from you that goes straight to his cock.
His lips trail lower, pressing kisses along the curve of your jaw, the slope of your neck. His teeth graze against your skin making you shiver because you feel like on damn fire, so sensitive for him.
“Ford, ah,” you breathe, tilting your head to give him more room as his kisses grow bolder, hungrier. He’s so desperate he can’t seem to stop himself, mouthing at your collarbone, your throat, anywhere he can reach while he mutters how beautiful you are.
Your hand trembles as it finds his, wrapping around his wrist and guiding him down. “Ford, please, touch me there,” you whimper against his lips now, spreading your thighs apart to make space. “need you. . . need your fingers, your hand, please.”
Ford hesitates at first, as if he doesn't fully believe what he sees in front of him, the object of his fantasies, his clever girl, which he wrote about in his journal, right beneath him, begging for his touch, for his love. It seems like his genius brain cannot comprehend what is happening yet.
Finally his hand moves, two fingers, one extra, rubbing you through the fabric of your panties and the sound that leaves your mouth sounds like a desperate needy sob. His forehead drops against yours as his fingers press against the dampness pooling there.
“You’re so wet,” Ford drags his thumb slowly over your clit. “is this all for me?”
“Yes, yes, all for you,” you gasp, writhing under his touch, bucking your hips up into his hand. “only you, Ford— fuck, just keep touching me, please, need more— need you. . .”
“I know,” he mutters, kissing you hard enough to steal the words from your tongue. “i know, sweetheart, i know.”
Ford’s fingers tugs your panties to the side and you both groan when he finally touches you bare. You squirm, swaying your hips to grind against his hand and he curses again, moving his lips to your neck, kissing and nipping as if he can’t stand being apart from you for even a second.
“Y-you’re driving me insane,” he breathes. “been dreaming about this, you have no idea, been wanting you for so long.”
“Good,” you manage a weak smile, whimpering when he circles your clit with his thumb. You curl your nails into his shoulders. “then fucking do something about it.”
Stanford groans at your words, his cock twitches, begging to be taken care of, but his pleasure doesn’t matter now. You’re so hungry for his touch and Ford needs to touch you badly, so he slips his fingers through your folds, caressing you while still rubbing your clit in torturous circles. “like this? does this, does this feel good?”
“Yes, yes, oh my god! more, more, give me more,” you cry when he sinks one finger into you, curling it just right.
“God, I wanna—” but he cuts himself off when his eyes notices that damn bandage on your leg.
“What?” you question and press a light kiss to his cheek, your eyes searching his face. “what do you want?”
“You,” he admits. “I want to be inside you, want to feel you around me, want to, b-but you’re hurt, and I— fuck, I can’t, I can’t risk it.”
You whine, your head falling back as his fingers keep moving, sliding in and out of your pussy, brushing against that spot that makes you see stars. “don’t care,” your thighs clenching around his hand. “i don’t care, just need you, need your cock— fuck, please!”
“Please, don’t say that, don’t say that when I can’t give it to you.”
“Ford, please, I need it! I’ll be fine, I swear—”
“No, you’re hurt, this is all i can give you right now. . . but i swear, I swear i’ll make it up to you, honey, when you’re better, when you’re not hurt, i’ll—” his fingers thrust deeper into your wetness with his thumb circling your clit in time and you interrupt him with loud cry.
“Ford! please, just don’t stop, please don’t stop—”
Ford nods and watches you. Letting his fingers curl inside you, penetrating deeper into your pussy. His movements growing more confident as your body reacts to him, your beautiful moans spurring him on. His lips find yours again and you both get lost in the kiss, in the way your breaths mix, in the way your bodies press together like you’re trying to fuse into one.
Your moan breaks into a cry as you arch your back, eyes closed tight when Ford’s fingers pumping into you faster, your spongy walls tightening around his digits. Oh fucking heaven, that extra finger feels too good. “Ford, please! oh, god— fuck, you’re gonna make me—”
“That’s it,” Ford’s lips trail up to your ear, kissing and biting it as he presses his thumb on your sensitive bundle. “let me take care of you, sweetheart, cum for me.”
His tone and praise is what sends you on edge as you clench around his fingers, moaning his name and cumming while his fingers, slower, but still thrusting into you. You feel so weak and tired, but your Ford is right there to catch you, whispering soft praises into your hair as you shake in his arms.
Ford’s fingers still buried deep inside you as he watches you come down from your high. And it’s so obvious that he putted your needs before his own because his cock, hard as a rock now, strains against the fabric of his pants, creating the most painful bulge you ever seen. He shifts awkwardly, hoping maybe you won’t notice but you do. Oh, you do.
“Ford,” your voice sounds honeyed as you regain your strength. Your gaze drops pointedly to the tent in his pants. “you’re. . . so hard.”
His face flushes and he tries to pull away, to create some distance between you, but you grab his wrist, stopping him.
“Don’t,” you whisper softly. “don’t hide from me. you’ve been so good to me, let me. . . let me do something for you.”
“No,” he says quickly. “you’re hurt. I can’t, you need to rest.”
“Just look at you, you’re aching. You don’t have to do anything to me, just let me help.”
“Oh my god,” he says your name as if ready to scold you. “you’re impossible, you know,” but his shaky hands move to his belt anyway, unsure, like he’s warring with himself even as he undoes it.
“Yeah?” you lean back. “you’re about to jerk off in front of me, Ford, what does that make you?”
Ford cant find any smart or logical response to that because you’re absolutely right, he’s the mess here, the impossible one, the desperate old man. He takes a breath, finally pulling his cock free and fuck, he’s so hard as if he’s going to explode, the head flushed and leaking.
Ford’s cock is already in his hand, the first strokes making him whimper under his breath. His other hand rests on your thigh, fingers nervously flex like he’s desperate to touch more of you, to hold you, to worship you properly like his clever girl deserves, but he’s so lost in this intimate moment, in you, that he can barely think straight.
You’re watching him, trying to control yourself because if you won’t, you might just jump on him and you can't vouch for yourself.
You’re sprawled out in front of him like a dream come to life: t-shirt rucked up, legs spread, panties pushed to the side, leaving your pretty glistening pussy on full display for his starved gaze. Fuck, you look so hot like that, from everything he’s already done to you. He’s trying not to stare and you think he’s so silly when it’s specially show made only for him, so you shift your hips just enough to catch his attention, drawing his eyes like a magnet.
“Touch yourself for me. Show me how much you want me.” your eyes locked on him, drinking in the sight of his hand moving over his length.
Ford’s chest heaves, his hand grips his cock, which is twitching and flushed an angry red at the tip. But looks like poor old man can’t even jerk himself off properly, so you reach your hand out to brush against his wrist.
“Here,” you purr, guiding his hand with your smaller one, wrapping your fingers around his, forcing him to stroke himself teasingly. At that, Ford’s hips jerk up into your shared grip, and you hum approvingly, watching as his lips part in a groan. “yes, like this, honey. Let me help you.”
“S-sweetheart. . . you don’t— ah— you don’t have to—”
“But I want to,” you lean back against the bed, shifting your hips, making sure he has the perfect view of your soaked, glistening slit. “Don’t hold back, i want you to feel good.”
Ford lets himself get a bit more vocal as he groans, his hips buck into your joined hands and his cock twitches against your palm. He’s so fucking hard, leaking against your skin, and the sounds he makes as he strokes himself are too good to be true, yet here he is, in front of you, jerking himself off, moaning your name.
“You. . . o-oh god, sweetheart, you’re incredible,” he whines as you guide his hand again, showing him exactly how to squeeze, how to work himself the way you know he needs it. Meanwhile his other hand braces against the mattress near your head, his knuckles white as he struggles to keep himself together.
“You’re so big, Ford,” your eyes glued to his dick, watching every move with hungry fascination. “you’re so handsome, so beautiful. I could look at you all night.”
He groans at your praise, more pathetic this time, his forehead dropping forward as he stares at where your bodies almost meet. “Christ, you’re gonna ruin me, love.” that’s when his strokes falter for and you take over completely, your warm hand wrapping around his length and pumping him up and down.
“Keep going,” you urge, feeling yourself getting wetter too. “i can’t stop thinking about how good you’d feel inside me. id take all of you, id make you feel so good, Ford. I need you, all of you.” soft whisper into his lips while all Ford can do is fuck your hand pathetically, your thumb sweeping over his tip, smearing the slick there.
Ford digs his fingers into your thigh, trembling. “Don’t— oh god, don’t say that,” he gasps. His eyes are locked on your opening, on the way your arousal glistens, your folds so wet and swollen and inviting.
“Don’t you want to touch me? Don’t you want to feel how wet i am for you?”
“God, I do,” he breathes as his hand joins again, moving together with yours, faster, jerking himself off faster. “I want you so much it hurts. I’d do anything. . . anything for you.”
“Then come for me,” you whisper, reaching out to thread your fingers into his hair when you kiss the corners of his parted trembling lips.
“I can’t— oh god, sweetheart, I can’t hold on much longer.” thick ropes of his cum spills across your thighs and even stomach, marking your skin as he makes a mess of himself. His hot seed drips down over your hand where you keep stroking and caressing him, milking every last drop forcing whines and mewls from him.
He collapses forward after and buries his face against your shoulder.
“I need you so badly,” he murmurs into your skin. “you don’t know how much I want you. You don’t know what you do to me.”
You hum softly, threading your fingers through his damp hair as you press a tender kiss on his forehead.
***
It’s morning and sweet scent of batter and syrup fills the air. The noise and conversations are coming from the kitchen and there’s only one explanation for the chaos: Stanley is cooking “stancakes.”
You’re by his side, propped against the counter, balancing on your good leg, watching Stan cook. Spatula in one hand, the other parked on his hip and he radiates confidence, as if he is ready to host his own cooking show.
“Now listen up, kid,” he says in a voice full of pride. “these are world-famous stancakes. they’ve been called ‘edible’ by at least two people, well, three, if you don’t count the pig.”
“Oh.”
“Oh” he repeats, incredulous, spinning to face you with mock offense. “don’t tell me you’ve never had stancakes before?!”
You grin, shaking your head. “not once. I think Ford’s been keeping them all to himself.”
Stan looks like you’ve just offended him.
“That’s practically a felony in this house! what, Ford never mentioned ‘em? selfish bastard.”
You laugh softly.
“but i gotta ask,” Stan continues. “any allergies to elbow grease? or, uh, whatever was at the bottom of the flour jar. pretty sure it was flour. maybe. . .” he winks and you roll your eyes, however the conversation continues good and friendly between you.
Your hand rests on the counter for balance and you look down, at the faint tug of the bandage around your leg, which works as reminder of the night before. Memories of Ford’s hands, his mouth, the way he moaned your name, how he touched you, heat your cheeks until you force yourself to focus on Stan.
His spatula waves in your direction again. “so, what’s the story with yer leg? take a tumble down the stairs, or was it somethin’ spooky out there in the woods?”
You give him a wide smile. “let’s just say it’s a story. remind me to tell you later.”
Stan raises a brow curiously, but he doesn’t push. Instead, he turns back to his stancakes with a grunt. “hmph, fair enough. just glad you didn’t end up worse. Y’know, if ya ever need lessons on landing on yer feet—”
Before he can finish, his brother steps into the room and you immediately turn your gaze to him. Honestly, he looks like he’s spent the entire night replaying everything.
“Ah, there you are,” Ford murmurs when his gaze finds you, then he clears his throat and nods to his twin. “good morning, Stanley.”
Stan doesn’t miss a beat, gesturing with his spatula. “yeah, mornin’, sixer. Yer just in time for the best damn pancakes this side of the multiverse.”
At that, Ford’s lips curve into a polite smile as he glances at his brother. “that’s good to hear.” then his focus changes, locking entirely on you. His intonation changes into something warmer as he speaks your name. “would you mind if i borrowed you for a moment? just for a quick talk.”
You nod a little too eagerly. “sure, of course.”
Stanley lets out a dramatic sigh, waving his spatula at Ford. “don’t keep her too long, poindexter. She’s gotta try these pancakes before they go cold!”
Ford leads you to his study and you follow, heart thundering in your chest. You’re grinning like an idiot, barely containing your excitement. He’s finally going to say something, but you’re so fucking ready to hear, to discuss, to scream the loudest “YES” when he’ll ask you to be his girlfriend.
When the door clicks shut behind you, he turns and you finally see his face. He’s always so serious, just like right now. But what did you wait? It’s Ford Pines, it’s his normal state. However, you’re so excited you sure he can see the way you’re literally glowing.
You really try to act casual, but inside, you’re absolutely going insane, nervous, happy, excited at the same time. Last night still feels like a fever dream, you can feel the ghost of his touch on your skin, the heat of his body against yours, the way his fingers slid so perfectly into you. . .
And now he’s here, just the two of you, and you’re hoping he’ll finally acknowledge the thing that happened between you.
But then he opens his mouth.
“So, about the anomaly. . .” he begins and the words hit you like a slap.
No, no. No no no. Are you hearing this right?That’s what he’s leading with?! After everything that happened last night, he’s just. . . no, he’s talking about the damn anomaly like he didn’t just leave you trembling with the memory of his fingers inside you.
Your smile falters fucking immediately, your shoulders stiffening as he goes on, completely oblivious to the storm of disappointment brewing inside you.
“I’ve been reviewing the notes I took last week. If my calculations are correct, the creature’s molecular structure—”
What the actual fuck.
Your jaw clenches. You stare at him, thinking it’s some kind of joke. He’s talking about science. Fucking science. After everything that happened, this is what he wants to talk about? He’s here, rambling about molecules and rain like none of it ever happened.
You can’t stand it. The frustration takes over you.
“Ford,” you hiss as you shove him back against the wall.
His eyes widen in surprise, but you don’t let him speak. You press your palms flat against his chest, pinning him there, your voice shaking with anger. All you can think about is how he’s standing there like some fucking genius, talking about molecules and data when last night, you’d literally devoured each other.
“Are you kidding me? This is what you wanted to talk about? You’re seriously standing here, talking about anomalies and notes like last night didn’t fucking happen?”
For a second, he just looks at you, his face calm and that makes you practically vibrate with rage, the intensity of your emotions making your head spin.
And then. . . he smirks.
The bastard smirks.
“I wasn’t aware we had plans to debrief, sweetheart,” your fingers tighten against his chest and he raises a brow, clearly amused by your reaction. “Though I must admit, you’re surprisingly strong for someone with an injured leg. Should I be worried?”
Your face burns as you glare up at him. “Ford, don’t you dare—”
“Well?” his gaze piercing through you. “What is it you want me to say, sweetheart?”
His fucking teasing is driving you crazy.
“Are you seriously just gonna pretend like it didn’t happen? That you didn’t— god, Ford—"
“Pretend? Oh, but don’t get ahead of yourself.
I think you’ve got a lot more to say about what happened than you’re letting on, huh?”
Your cheeks burn hotter than they ever have before. You didn’t expect that. You really didn’t.
“Are you seriously gonna tease me about last night? You’re unbelievable,” you mutter, but you’re so worked up now that you don’t even care. You push yourself closer, getting right up in his space, your chest touching his, and now you’re just fuming.
“I’m the one who teases you? Interesting. . .” he leans to your face, brushing his lips against your ear. “What else did I do to you that made you so worked up last night? I didn’t think I was that good with my hands.”
“You bastard.” you hiss as you pin him against the wall harder.
He tilts his head at your words. “Careful, love, I wouldn’t want you to strain that leg of yours again. Especially not after I spent so much time taking care of you last night.”
Your breath catches in your throat. The nerve of this man! You want to slap him, to push him away, but instead, you pull him closer
“You better watch yourself, Ford.” You give him a dangerous smile. “You think you can just pay with me like this? You’re not as clever as you think.”
Ford’s smirk widens. “Oh? You think you’ve got the upper hand? I’ve got you pinned right where I want you, sweetheart.”
And then his hand trails down your arm to your waist.
“And if you’re still mad, I can think of a few ways to work out that frustration.”
Your body goes cold and hot all at once, and it takes everything in you not to melt into him.
Ford is still against the wall where you pushed him, calm as ever, obviously enjoying every second of this, he thinks he’s the one in control.
Your pulse hammers in your ears, your hands trembling against the chest of his sweater. He’s so warm, and god, you hate that even now, even while you’re mad at him, you can’t stop remembering the way he looked last night. The way he sounded when he let himself fall apart under your touch.
“You’re insufferable. Worse than Stan.”
“Am I? Because from where I’m standing, you’re the one pinning me to a wall. Quite forcefully, might I add. It’s a little ironic, don’t you think? Considering how you were. . . what’s the term? Begging for me last night?”
Your jaw drops.
“Begging? You think I was begging for you?”
Ford looks entirely too pleased with himself. “Well, I seem to recall a certain. . . eagerness on your part. Particularly when—”
“You don’t get to talk about my eagerness.” you cut him off, your cheeks flaming. “Not when you were the one moaning my name like your life depended on it.”
That shuts him up.
His smirk falters slightly, and you see the faintest hint of red creeping up his neck. Oh. Oh. Fucking finally. You’ve got him now.
“That’s right. Stanford Pines, world-renowned genius, reduced to a trembling mess because I—” and to kill him for sure, you lean in to whisper into his lips. “jerked you off.”
Ford goes completely still.
There’s nothing but silence. His genius mind working, his lips parting slightly like he wants to say something, but no words come out. His face is a mess of conflicting emotions, embarrassment, frustration and something you can’t quite place but looks suspiciously like agreement.
“Got nothing to say now, huh?” you tease, grinning like an absolute maniac. “What happened to all that confidence, Professor?”
“Well played.”
***
Life at the mystery shack doesn’t feel much different, not outwardly. Stan still grumbles about the bills, the tourists still gawk at the exhibits, and Ford. . . Ford is still Ford, except now he’s yours.
Yours.
The nights are quieter between you both, more intimate, full of moans and groans, petting and foreplay. Like last night, when his clever hands had slipped beneath the waistband of your pajama pants, his soft and needy voice told you he wanted to make you feel good.
God, he did. You’d come on his fingers so good, trembling as he whispered your name and called you his good girl, while kissing your cheeks, wiping your tears of pleasure away. And he’d let you touch him too while your hand worked up and down on his pulsing cock and then he spilled against your skin, while you silenced him with a kiss.
No, it actually feels good, really. It’s better than nothing, than not touching him at all, but. . . you crave, you need something else. Something that is not just his fingers, mouth, or hands.
Ford is so careful, so cautious about your stupid leg, his gentle excuses about your injury making you want to scream into a pillow. Like, yeah, it still hurts sometimes, but you can walk, run, pin him against a wall, fuck him six ways to sunday if he’d just let you.
Ford has his own fears, even if he won’t admit them outright.
But you’re not afraid.
The woods, your anomaly huntings, are different now too. More dangerous, you’d say.
You’re pressed against a tree as Ford’s mouth claims yours. His hands are everywhere, gripping your waist, sliding up under your clothes, pulling you closer, closer, like he can’t get enough.
“Ford, aah, please,” you whimper, pulling him down to kiss you deeper. His knee nudges between your thighs, pressing against you and you swear you’re about to melt into a puddle right there in the dirt.
“Quiet, sweetheart, don’t want the whole forest knowing how desperate you are for me.”
But it’s him. . . it’s fucking him who’s desperate, dropping to his knees to pull your pants down just enough, fingers slipping into your panties to find you already soaking.
“So wet already, holy multiverse,” and then his fingers are inside your pussy as he presses kisses to your thighs and stomach.
But you need to touch him too. Your hands are on him again, tugging at his belt, fumbling with the button of his pants. His cock is hard when you pull him free and you stroke him until he’s shaking, gasping against your neck.
“My love, i’m gonna—” his hips jerks into your hand as he cums, splashing his hot and thick seed all over your fingers. But he doesn’t stop, his own six fingered hand working you until you finish with a strangled cry, pussy clenching around him as you nearly fall, when he catches you, whispering how beautiful you are.
You both collapse against each other, sticky and hot, despite coldness of autumn, grinning like idiots. And then Ford leans in to kiss you again, like he’s already planning the next round.
At dinner, it’s you who starts it.
Your leg brushes his teasingly under the table that has him choking on his water. Stanley doesn’t notice, too busy ranting about some tourist who tried to haggle over a snow globe, but Ford shoots you a warning look.
You just smile sweetly while also agreeing with Stan about his tourist speech as you press your foot higher until you’re brushing against the hard line of his length beneath the table.
The lab is worse.
He’s sitting at his desk, scribbling in his journal with you perched on his lap, your arms around his shoulders, your hips rocking against his as you kiss the side of his neck.
“You’re distracting me,” says fucking Ford with his hands on your hips, guiding your movements as his already hard cock strains against his pants.
“Good,” you kiss his cheek, grinding down harder, feeling him twitching beneath you.
But every time you try to push it further, every time you reach for him, ask for more, he stops you.
“Your leg,” but it sounds like he’s trying to convince himself as much as you.
“But i’m fine—”
“No,” he interrupts, shaking his head. “i’m not risking it, not yet.”
***
The November crisp air bites at your skin. The faint smoky warmth of the fire crackling in the yard. Well. . . It was Stanley's idea to do this, he said something about rekindling childhood memories, family bonding and roasting marshmallows like it was summer camp, but he's not here. Something about a "quick run to the diner for pie" turned into him being away for whole evening, leaving you and Ford alone under a shining starry sky.
“You know, for a guy with six fingers, you’re surprisingly bad at this,” you tease, leaning back on your hands as you watch Stanford squint at the marshmallow impaled on his skewer. It's already starting to charred, the edges curling into blackened flakes as the fire devours it. “do they not teach you how to roast marshmallows in the multiverse, professor?”
Ford chuckles softly at your words. “Oh, excuse me, but i’ll have you know i’ve mastered much more complex techniques than this primitive. . .” the marshmallow slides clean off the stick and lands with a soft plop into the embers. Ford stares at it, annoyed. “cooking method.”
You can’t help how cute he looks so you laugh. “You’re hopeless,” you brush your shoulder against his, smiling. “here, let me show you.” Ford nods, handing you the stick. “first rule,” you skewer a new marshmallow. “don’t hold it so close to the flame. you want it golden, not a cremation. You’ve gotta keep it turning. Patiently, like this.” you rotate the stick slowly and Ford actually watches, his gaze is not on the fire, but on you.
“i see,” he says thoughtfully. “golden, not charred.”
“Exactly,” you let marshmallow toast evenly. “you just have to—” you glance up to check on him and Ford’s still watching you. It steals the breath from your lungs and you gulp awkwardly. “. . . focus,” you finish a little quieter. “why you’re looking at me like that?” you smile.
Ford laughs. “maybe in some universe, you do dress appropriately for the weather?”
You blink at him, thrown off for a second, before realising. Oh. . . oh, right. Your teeth chatter slightly, fingers cold and you’re shaking slightly, it’s so obvious. “i guess no?”
Ford doesn’t even dignify that with a response. Instead, he’s already shrugging out of his coat and draping it over your shoulders before you can protest, but it’s not like you wanted to anyways. His trench coat is heavy and smells just like him and your smile couldn't get any wider.
“Thanks, again. . . heh,” you try to sound nonchalant, but the coat is still warm from him and you clutch it around you tighter.
“So, you were saying?” Stanford prompts, tilting his head toward the marshmallow in your hand.
You clear your throat. “Right, uh, where was i? oh, yeah. so, you’ll know it’s ready when it’s this perfect golden brown all over, not a single—”
“Give me a kiss,” Ford says suddenly, interrupting you like it’s the most natural thing in the world.
You’re not sure who leans in first. You, probably, but he meets you halfway. Ford’s lips are warm, so soft against yours. Your heart stutters in your chest as blood rushes in your ears, one of his hands comes up to cradle your face, his thumb brushing feather-light against your cheek. Your hands find his chest, fingertips pressing into his sweater as you you sigh into him.
The kiss deepens, not hurried, but like you’ve both waited far too long for this moment. Ford leans into your touch like he’s been craving it just as much as you.
When you finally pull back, he rests his forehead against yours and none of you speak, both quiet and only fire is crackling softly beside you.
“I think i might be terrible at marshmallows.” Ford smiles shyly.
You blink at him, you lips still tingling from the kiss, your head feeling too light to even process his words at first. Oh god the whole moment so tender, so beautiful, so intimate it almost makes you want to cry.
“Ford,” and he hums softly in response.
“Hmm?”
“Give me another.”
Ford doesn’t need to be told twice.
This time, it’s you who closes the distance, but his lips crash into yours like he’s been waiting, holding himself back and now he simply can’t. His hand slides to the back of your neck as the kiss deepens, hotter, hungrier. You sigh into his mouth, your knees going weak beneath you, but Ford steadies you, holds you.
His coat slips off one of your shoulders as your arms wind around his neck, pulling him closer, closer, closer until there’s no space left, and even then, it doesn’t feel close enough.
“Ford—” you manage to groan against his lips and he pulls back just slightly.
“What is it?” the way he’s looking at you, fuck, like he’s already undressing you in his mind, makes you feel dizzy.
You pause, staring at him, at the mess of his hair, the faint flush dusting his cheeks, the way his lips are already red from kissing you. This man. This ridiculous, brilliant, beautiful man.
“My leg,” you feel nervous out of sudden, afraid he might reject you again. “it’s— it’s healed now, you know. . . i can— i can handle more.”
Ford freezes, thinking. And then. . . Oh.
He kisses you again, but this time it’s different, this time, there’s no holding back, no careful hesitation.
"Inside," your voice is trembling with anticipation. "please, Ford, let’s go inside."
And god help you both, he doesn’t think he’ll be able to say no.
***
Ford’s whole body is pressing you into the mattress as though he’s trying to meld you both into one. His hands grip the sheets beside your head and he’s so warm against you. He kisses you messily and desperately, too eager.
“Ford, please,” you whimper, lifting your hips and grinding up against his hard, pulsing length.
“Yes, Ive got you, I’ve got you,” his own voice trembling as one hand dives down, gripping your hip, trying to keep you still but failing miserably because he can’t stop himself from rutting into you. “im right here, my love, i’m gonna take care of you.” the bed creaks beneath the weight of both of you, but neither of you can hear it over the needy moans you two share.
You can’t stop the high pitched whine that escapes you as his knee slots between your thighs, pressing against you just right and you swear you’re losing your fucking mind. “Nngh, Ford, Ford, please,” your voice so fucking needy it feels embarrassing.
Ford stops, just for a second, pulling back to take a good look at you. His eyes are blown wide, pupils black as they devour every little expression you make. “tell me, tell me what you need.”
You nearly cry. “touch me,” you plead.
“Oh sweetheart, my good girl,” his trembling fingers brush the hem of your clothes, slipping underneath to glide against your skin, being so careful like you’re too delicate, too fragile for him, he’s afraid you’ll shatter if he’s not gentle. “i’m not going anywhere,” he promises, dragging his lips down your jaw, going lower to the sensitive skin of your neck. “i love you so much.” and before you can even think to respond, his mouth is on yours again, swallowing your moans because he’s desperate to consume every single piece of you.
Oh, sweet fucking hell, you think when Ford lowers himself between your thighs looking like a man on his knees at an altar and you’re the goddess he’s about to worship. He spreads your legs wide, his six-fingered hands curling into the plush of your thighs and he just stares for a moment like he’s seeing heaven itself. His lips part, and his tongue darts out to wet them, the hunger in his gaze as if he can’t believe this is real.
"My love," he groans. "so pretty, you’re so pretty. . . this is all mine, isn’t it? tell me, sweetheart, say it, say it’s all for me."
“It’s yours, Ford,” you melt under his gaze, feeling so exposed and he hums in approval.
“Good girl,” and then he dips his head down, brushing his lips against your inner thigh, kissing your healed wound.
You grow impatient with every second, and fucking finally, he’s right here, his face hovering over your throbbing pussy which needs his attention so bad, and he takes a deep breath.
Ford presses a kiss just above where you’re all wet and your hips jolt, seeking more.
“F-Ford! fuuck. . . fuck fuck fuck!”
“Shh, just like that, i’ll take care of you,” he presses one hand firmly on your pelvis to keep you still. “just relax, darling, let me have you.”
You’re too far gone to even respond coherently, only letting out pathetic whimper as he drags his lips lower and lower until his warm mouth hovers right over your soaked folds.
His tongue presses flat against your pussy, slowly and oh fuck, you taste so damn sweet, Ford growls and that vibrates straight through you. “oh, god," he pants, pulling back before diving in again, "you taste. . . you taste so good, so sweet, like you were made for me." Ford’s voice muffled against you as his tongue flattens, dragging through your slick, tasting you.
His hands grip your thighs tighter to hold your squirming body in place as he tilts his head to get a better angle. His lips seal around your puffy clit, sucking gently at first, then harder when your hips jerk up into his face. He holds you open because he’s not letting you go anywhere, his tongue flicks over that sensitive bundle of nerves until you’re sobbing his name.
“Ford. . . oh god! Ford, too much—!”
You’re trembling and panting as his tongue circles your little clit in soft lazy strokes that have your back arching off the mattress. You fist your fingers into the sheets as his lips seal around your sensitive clit, sucking gently before releasing you with a soft, wet pop.
“Taste so good,” Ford says more than all to himself. He licks into you now, dragging his wet tongue through your soft folds, lapping up everything you’re giving him like a man possessed. “g-give me more, darling, please. . . i need more of you.”
“Ford, Ford! Ford, i—” you buck your hips against his face as the wet sounds of his mouth on you fill the room.
“Mmhm, that’s it, sweetheart,” his voice muffled against your cunt as his lips brushes your clit, letting his fingers slide lower to tease your dripping entrance. “just let me make you feel good.”
Ford pulls back just enough to gasp for air, his lips and chin shiny with your slick and you swear he looks drunk, eyes glassy and pupils blown wide. “you taste so good,” he groans, diving back in immediately, never having enough, moving his mouth against you like he’s kissing you there, sloppily, noisily and so damn messy.
You’re not damn ready for what comes next. When his fingers finally slip inside, you nearly scream, two of them, then three with his extra middle one sliding into your soaked pussy, while another circles your clit, working in perfect tandem with his tongue. "so tight, so wet for me," his voice muffled as he sucks your clit into his mouth again. "give it to me, sweetheart. . . let me have it, be a good girl for me, yeah?"
His pace quickens as your walls flutter around his fingers. But he doesn’t stop, not even when you’re writhing and tears streaming down your cheeks from the pleasure. He licks, sucks and slurps at you, addicted to the way you taste, the way you feel. “Ford, I’m gonna cum—”
You cry out and jerk your hips against his face as you do. He growls, gripping you tighter, holding you still as his mouth moves faster, hungrier. Your walls spasming around his long fingers, your clit pulsing between his lips.
But Ford’s mouth doesn’t lift and doesn’t slow, even when your thighs tremble and your fingers push weakly at his hair to tug him away.
“No, Ford, please,” you gasp as he sucks your clit into his mouth, rolling his tongue against it in slow circles. “i-i can’t— too much. . . im sensitive, Ford—”
But he doesn’t give a fuck, his grip tightens on your thighs to keep them spread wide. “Just one more, sweetheart,” his words slurred, drunk off the taste of you. “please-please, i need. . . one more, just one more for me.”
You can’t hold back the loud cry that escapes you as his tongue dives back in, licking and lapping. Your legs jerk, trying to close, but his strong hands keep them locked open. “don’t fight me, let me, let me have you.”
“Ford, oh god—” your voice is broken as his tongue works all over your pussy, it’s overwhelming and unbearable, your entire body feels like a live wire as he devours you, never giving you a moment to recover.
“that’s it, love, cum for me, please. . . be a good girl and cum on my face.”
And you do again, god, you do, because there’s no stopping it. Your orgasm crashes over you again, ripping a scream from your throat as your back arches off the bed. Your vision whites out, your mind blank as your release floods through you.
Ford moans into you as you come, his mouth latched onto your clit, his tongue lapping up every drop. When you start caressing his hair as if thanking him, he presses wet sloppy kisses to your trembling thighs.
You’re still shaking and gasping for air, when he finally lifts his head, his chin glistening as he stares down at you and smiles. But you still can’t have enough, not satisfied, not when he haven’t been inside you and fucked you properly, you’ve been craving this for months and you totally go for it now. “Please, need you, Ford, please, i need you inside me.”
He doesn’t even make any excuses this time when he kneels between your legs, his cock flushed and throbbing, the head slick with pearls of precum. “you sure?” is all he asks as his hands come up to cradle your hips.
“Yes, god, yes,” you plead, spreading your legs wider, your eyes glazed with need. “please, i can’t wait anymore! i need you.”
He knows you do because he’s in absolutely same state as you, needy and desperate to fuck you, that’s why he’s pressing into you, the thick head of his cock stretching you open and you both moan loudly when he slides deeper, his girth filling you.
Ford is trembling above you, sweat slicking his brow as he inches himself inside carefully, terrified he might hurt you or worse, lose control. But you’re ready, so ready, your nails digging into his shoulders, “more, please, i can take it.”
Ford’s hips stutter as he bottoms out, his cock buried to the hilt. “Y-you’re so tight, sweetheart, so damn tight. i don’t— don’t know if i can move. . . feels too good. . . god, you’re perfect.”
You’re no better because your walls clench around him and your voice so high and breathless as you cry, “so full, Ford— oh my god, you’re so big.”
“I know, love, i know,” he soothes, finding your parted lips with his as he starts to move slowly, making shallow thrusts that have you both gasping. “you’re doing so good, taking me so well, feels like heaven, baby.”
You feel every inch of him, every twitching vein as he sinks deeper, the stretch delicious, making your head spin. Your legs wrap around his waist, pulling him closer, urging him on. Your wet pussy squeezes his dick so good he nearly loses it right there.
And it’s too much, too good to be true, both of you letting out incoherent sounds and slurred praises as he thrusts into you, moving faster, his thick cock dragging against every sensitive spot inside you. You try to move together with him, creating a perfect sync.
“You feel so good, sweetheart, too good. i don’t— I don’t think i’m gonna last.”
“It’s okay,” you reply, cupping his cheek when you look right into his dazed eyes. “fuck me harder, Ford, please. . . need you so bad.”
He hears you, snapping his hips against yours, his pace quickening as he loses himself in you. Your moans about how good it feels fill the air while your hands are clawing at his back, nails biting into his skin as you try to pull him closer where it seems impossible. His scars feel rough under your touch as your fingers trace them blindly, making Ford moan at the sensation. His hips jerk forward, driving deeper and you cry out.
“So tight,” he groans into your ear. “you’re squeezing me, love, c-can’t think. . . you feel— oh, sweetheart, pussy so good.”
Your nails dig deeper, leaving crescents in his skin as he fucks into you with deep thrusts that have you gasping. “more, please, more,” you beg and he obeys without question, burying himself deeper, harder into your cunt.
“That’s it, love,” his hand slips between your hot bodies to find your aching clit, circling his fingers over the swollen nub with featherlight touches. “look at you. . . so beautiful, so good for me, you’re perfect, love. . . my perfect girl.”
Your vision blurs when he thrusts into you, at the same time his thumb presses down on your clit and a sharp cry spilling from your lips as the pleasure builds.
“Ford!” you whimper while your hands clutch at him. “oh god, i—”
“I know, love, i know, i feel it, let go for me, sweetheart, cum for me.
His beautiful voice and words are enough to pull you through another powerful orgasm, your body tense as you finish, breathless, boneless, drunk on his cock.
Ford’s dick throbs as your release slicks his length, dripping down to pool at the base of him. “you’re so wet, sweetheart, good girl.”
You cant think, not really, too fucked out and tired, your body trembles and you can barely take a breath, but Ford doesn’t stop, determined to fuck your brains out. His thumb circles your clit again and your hips jerk away, the overstimulation making you whimper. “n-no, wait— I’m sensitive—”
“Just one more, love,” he pleads. “please, baby, just one more for me. you can do it, I know you can.”
You try to close your legs and your body twitches with every touch, too much to handle, but Ford holds you open firmly, pressing soft, open-mouthed kisses to your neck, your shoulder, anywhere he can reach. “you’re so good to me, so good, can’t get enough of you.”
He continues thrusting into you, filling your pussy to the brim and pulling out, slamming back again, you feel good, you do, especially with right amount of pressure being applied to your clit, but pleasure borders with sensitivity and little pain from overstimulation as he drags against that tender spot inside you. “Fuck, please! i can’t—”
“You can. You’re my good girl, you can give me one more, please, baby, cum on my cock again.” his words light a fire in your veins because the coil of pleasure tightening and building again despite the ache, despite all these overwhelming sensations. He fucks you so deliciously, grinding his hips into you in deep, slow rolls that make your toes curl and eyes roll, your nails scraping across his shoulders and back, all over his old scars. Ford groans at the sting.
“That’s it, love, just like that, let me have all of you.” he wets his fingers with saliva before bringing them on your sensitive nub again. “you like that? y-you like it when i touch you here, sweetheart? tell me, tell me how good it feels.”
“So gooood. . . feels so good, ford, don’t stop, please don’t stop, fuck me, fuck me!” and then you break again, another orgasm crashing over you, but this time you literally scream from how good it feels, your body convulses, your nails dig into his back with such force that blood comes out. Ford watches you come undone as he fucks you through it, his cock coated in your juices once again.
Ford cant hold himself anymore because you notice how his thrusts grow more deeper, harder, more erratic. His sweaty forehead is pressed against yours, his groans changing into desperate pants and you feel how close he is because his cock twitches inside you, his body trembles as he fights to hold on. “don’t w-worry, don’t worry, I’ll pull out— I’ll—”
“No!” the word bursts out of you in a panic and immediately, you lock your legs around his waist to prevent that. “no, no, Ford, please, don’t, you can’t, don’t leave me, please—” your words tumble out in a frantic, incoherent mess, more sob than speech honestly as you cling to him like your life depends on it. “please,” you babble, your nails scraping against his skin, pulling him impossibly closer. “need it, need you, don’t pull out, please, please, please—”
His surprised eyes fly open as he processes your words. “but—”
All you do is nod frantically in response, hot tears pricking at the corners of your eyes, your legs squeezing around his waist to keep him in place. “yes, inside, cum inside me, I need it, I need you to cum inside me”
Ford groans as he gives in, his hips snapping forward with a force that makes you cry out. He holds your thighs, spreading you wider for himself as he buries himself to the hilt, as deep as he can go. He growls as his head falls back, he squeezes his eyes shut and just loses himself. “gonna— g-gonna cum inside you. . .”
It happens, finally, his hips slam into you one last time and he finishes, his cock pulses as his cum paints your walls white. He hides his face into your neck while loud sound tears from his throat, halfway between a groan and whine. He rolls his hips, continuing to sloppily and lazily thrust into your pussy, grinding against you, unable to stop because he needs to give you every last drop of himself. “you’re— my love, so good, I feel so good. . .”
You lay under him and take it all, milking him for everything he has. Your fingers tracing his beautiful scars, ones you gave him now and his own ones, smearing a little blood over his skin, your legs tightening around him as you whimper, feeling every pulse of him, every twitch of his cock inside as he fills you. Oh god, such intimacy leaves you dizzy, your heart pounding so hard it feels like it might burst.
“Thank you, Ford,” your body arches into him, asking, no, seeking more, always more. “feels so good. . .”
Ford finally comes back to his senses upon hearing your voice, he wraps his arms around you, holding you close as he shudders through the last waves of his orgasm. He presses kisses to your face, your neck, your shoulders. “I love you, i never want to let you go.”
He pulls out with a shaky groan as he tries to catch his breath, his cock still glistening and twitching. But the loss of him leaves you feeling achingly empty, your walls clenching around nothing as a soft whimper escapes your lips.
Ford is frozen above you, though, his chest heaving, his wide eyes fixed between your legs. The sight of his warm thick seed slowly trickling out of you renders him completely silent.
You let out a deep sigh, dazed, a dumb little smile curling at your lips as you look up at him, completely blissed out and so beautifully ruined. You trail your fingers down slowly, maybe to tease him once more, until finally dipping between your thighs to catch the mess he’s made.
You circle your clit gently, then lowering your fingers to your hole, collecting his cum, covering your fingers with this sticky mess and Ford tracks every movement. And then, oh, you push it back inside, curling your fingers deep, your head falling back with a quiet moan as you savour every drop.
Ford fucking whimpers at the sight as he watches you pump his sperm back into yourself.
“Don’t. . . don’t want to lose it,” you smile, looking at your scientist through half-lidded eyes, gaze unfocused. “don’t want it to go to waste, want to feel you.”
Before you can say another word, he’s on you again. His hands spread your thighs wides when he positions himself at your entrance. Without word, he pushes back in, groaning as he stretches you open again. “you’re beautiful,” he gives you a kiss, while slowly fucking his cum back into you again, making sure to not miss a drop, letting it stay where it belongs.
You hold him close, caressing his face and looking into his beautiful eyes. “I love you so much,” but you get interrupted by a little sudden thrust he makes. “oh, ah, Ford!”
“Shh, i’ve got you, love,” Ford gives you a warm loving smile, rocking his hips gently. “you were so good for me, sweetheart.” he looks at you like you’re the only thing that’s ever mattered, like he’d give you the whole world if you asked and he presses a soft kiss to your forehead. Your crazy heart thunders in your ears as you hug and cuddle him, lost in the way he fills you so completely, so perfectly, like you were made for this.
The two of you don’t even bother moving because there’s simply no energy left to clean up. Ford stays buried inside you with his heavy body on top of yours like a blanket. For the first time in life, you feel that safe, good and loved, warm and. . . full in every sense of the word.
Sometime later. . . hours? you’re not sure, but the soft gray light of dawn creeping through the curtains. You feel Ford’s broad chest pressed against your back and suddenly his hand skims up your thigh.
“Ford,” you murmur, half-asleep as his lips brush the curve of your shoulder. His hand finds your leg, gently lifting it as he settles himself against you. “yes, please. . .” you smile, closing your eyes as you feel his cock rubbing against your folds.
He kisses the side of your neck. “just need you again, can’t help it. . . need to feel your pussy around me.”
You moan softly as he slides into you from behind. The angle is perfect as he fills you, sending shivers through your sleepy body. His hand lays on your thigh, holding you steady as he starts rocking into you, slowly, still sleepy, but fucking deep, each thrust making you sigh and whimper.
“I’ll never get enough of you,” his free hand skims over your waist, cupping your breast and playing with your nipple.
Meanwhile your hand reaches back to clutch at his hip and your head falls back onto his shoulder, Ford drives deeper into your pussy. “Ford. . . oh, Ford, yesss. . . just like that.” you mewl sleepily when you feel his fingers on your clit.
You dont know what time is it, probably very very early morning, but you let him take you. There’s no rush, no urgency, just sleepy, languid thrusts and quiet soft moans you two share in the early morning while being half awake.
The sun is higher now, casting autumn golden streaks across the room, when you wake again. You’re alone in the bed and your body deliciously sore, marked with the evidence of last night. . . and this morning. Faint marks of kisses and hickeys bloom along your skin, the ache in your thighs reminds you of how thoroughly he’d claimed you.
The blanket is all over you, keeping you warm despite your nudity. You stretch out, yawning and blink away the last traces of sleep, but you notice him at the edge of the bed. Ford sits with his scarred back to you, hair messy, but his posture is perfectly straight as he leans over his. . . ah, yeah, now you see it, journal.
He’s scribbling something down there, intense focused, face serious and you just lay there, enjoying comfortable silence and watching him, taking in the way he looks so handsome even in his rumpled state.
“Morning, genius,” you murmur finally.
Ford glances over his shoulder. “Oh, good morning, love,” he says warmly, setting the journal aside and moving to your side of the bed. He leans down to kiss you, brushing his hand over your hair. “how are you feeling?”
“Sore,” you admit with a smile as you stretch beneath the blanket.
Ford studies you. “i’d say that’s to be expected. Rest a bit longer, okay? I’ll make us something to eat soon.”
“You better hurry because i’m so starved,” you yawn, covering your mouth with your hand.
“Starved, are you? well, you’re taking a shower first,” he says seriously, though his tone remains gentle. “you’re not wandering around covered in. . .” he stops himself as his cheeks flush a little, trying to find right words to use.
“Hm? Covered in what, ford?” you tease, propping yourself up on one elbow.
“You know what, honey, don’t make me say that.”
Your eyes flick to his journal. “what are you even writing in there, anyway? can’t believe you’re making notes after the night we had. Is it, like, some x-rated research?”
Because of your question, Ford straightens up, his face expression changes, the earlier embarrassment melting away as excitement takes its place. He looks like he’s just cracked the secret of the universe. “actually,” he begins, adjusting his glasses, “i think i’ve finally solved the equation for that anomaly we’ve been tracking! The one that disappeared because of the rainstorm, remember? I had a theory about the dimensional distortion rate and this morning, it all just clicked!” Ford launches into an explanation now.
You, however, just blink at him and knowing grin spreads across your face. “so, what you’re saying is. . . my pussy literally makes you smarter?”
Ford stops mid-sentence as he stares at you, flustered. “i— I wouldn’t put it like that,” he says, scratching the back of his neck, looking everywhere except at you. “but. . . perhaps there’s a correlation. . .”
You just laugh, dropping back onto the pillows as you watch his awkward attempts to compose himself. “yeah, yeah, Ford, I got you.”
He grumbles something about inappropriate comments, but the corners of his mouth betray him, curving into a shy smile.
“So, my pussy is the key to unlocking the mysteries of the universe? Who knew i was a genius all along.”
Ford groans, hiding his face in his hands, “Oh my god,” he says your name. “you’re impossible.”
#gravity falls#x reader#gravity falls smut#gravity falls x reader#gravity falls x you#ford pines x reader#ford pines smut#stanford pines#ford pines x you#stanford pines x you#stanford pines x reader#gravity falls fanfiction#grunkle ford
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*Taps mic* Heard y'all like Moon around here, you're in luck, this one's for you
massive, MASSIVE thank you to @lunarmoves for beta-reading this chapter!!
She put a lot of time and effort into making my BS readable for y'all and it's greatly appreciated <3 <3 <3
Shay also makes really good dca stuff (also sebastian solace but I know very little about the fish tbh) and you should check her out!
Also, happy 200k+!!! We're only 297k from truly becoming the 500k enemies to lovers slowburn of our dreams lmaoooo
But for real I apologize for such a delay with this one. If you'd like to hear my excuses/reasoning they're below the cut, or you can just go read the chapter whatever suits ya ^-^
Tag list (if you would like added please see this post for more info):
@scarletcowboy @beemyhuneybee @fishm0ther @deviouscrackers @elsajoyagent8
@luckyyyduckyyy @zenkaiankoku @jogimote @local-shrub @amarynthian-chronicles
@robinette-green @everlightreader @sinister-sincerely @starredeclipse @dangerva
CW: medical stuff & additionally a bit of unreality mentions
Okay going to try and keep this simple bc I've said parts of it before
So as most of you know, I've been sick for 3 months now
I've now been on two rounds of steroids, and currently on my third round of antibiotics, which are basically keep me fucntional, not improving
besides general discomfort and pain, my memory has been pretty shot at times, I will go through the day and barely remember what I did/what I'm doing/what I need to do
as someone who had brain fog caused by covid a few years ago, this was genuinely a scary experience because ultimately, this has been worse
i've felt out of control of my body, having times where I'm mid thought and then instantly lose it
this is not my normal, I usually pride myself on my memory, so losing it has been incredibly devastating and scary
this was not helped by the fact that the quick care I went to (THREE TIMES for this) basically kind of sort of tried to gaslight me into believing nothing could be done and that it's not an infection
so not only has this entire thing has gotten dragged out so much more, which makes me sad tbh, but I've also felt like I've been going crazy bc it felt like no one was believing me when i said I was sick and not getting any better (including friends, family, coworkers etc, though unintentional on their parts to be fair)
I feel like I've lost three months of my life and coming to terms with that has been, yeah
on top of all that, I'm still in school AND doing grad stuff, and while the school side of things has been okay (thank god), grad's had it's moments, won't get into it but have had multiple issues with my advisor that have been at times just really tough to deal with
Confused spirit got pushed to the back burner, because i quite literally at times could not think, and when it comes to this fic, where there's multiple ongoing plot threads, characterizations, lore, and so on to keep track of, it was just, impossible to me to even consider writing for it
having shorter stuff like promptober, the oneshots and such was great to keep me writing, and also still interact with everyone in the community, plus i had a lot of fun with them so that helped too
this is all to say that I do sincerly apologize for the delay, and at the very least I should've clearly communicated about there being a hiatus, when this all started I thought i'd be down for two weeks max, then as that time kept increasing I just kept putting it off and putting it off because i thought i was going to get better, and then I didn't
I do this for fun and for nothing else, fic writing isn't content (it's engaging with fandom) and i have to remind myself of that sometimes but given that I've been around in some capacity on and off I feel I should've said something in some regard
Having said all that, I'm doing okay now! Still sick, but as long as I'm on meds I'm functional, stuff is getting managable with grad, and hopefully have some fun things coming up irl! Point is, the last three months haven't been the best, but they've been alright, due in part to all the support you all have given me, so thank you for that, can't say it enough :)
Okay, I think that just about covers it, thank you for taking the time to read all of this if you did <3
#thank you again Shay it is very much appreciated#despite all the difficulties#i enjoyed this chapter a lot#and I hope you all do too ^_^#fnaf dca#fnaf daycare attendant#fnaf sun#fnaf moon#sundrop#moondrop#dca fic#Confused Spirit#x reader
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one of these days im going to write lesbian klaine and itll be OVER for all of you
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hope you feel better soon!
I am riddled with ailments, but I stay silly!
#ask#non mdzs#My health journey has been: Hernia -> acid reflux -> Vocal pain due to aforementioned reflux -> chest infection.#I'm terrified to know what's about to hit me next. Please let it be something kind. PLEASE.#The consequence of living with linguists is that you'll wake up with a wacked up voice -#suddenly you're sitting you down in front of a program called something like Praat having your shimmer and jitter levels calibrated.#They gave me a GRBAS of 33012. I have a fun thing called a pitch break where a whole octave just does not exist.#My vocal pain was bad enough I ended up seeing a speech pathologist and that whole experience was super neat!#I learnt a lot about voice - to be honest I might make a little comic on it after some more research. Fascinating stuff.#For example; your mental perception of our voice modulates the muscles of the vocal folds and larynx.#meaning that when you do have changes (inflammation = more mass = lower frequency)#your brain automatically attempts to correct it to what it 'should sound like'. Leading to a lot more vocal strain and damage!#And it gets really interesting for trans voice care as well - because the mental perception of one's voice isn't based on an existing sampl#So a good chunk of trans voice training is also done with the idea of finding one's voice and retraining the brain to accept it. Neat!#Parkinsonial Voice also has this perception to musculature link! The perception is that they are talking at a loud/normal volume#but the actual voice is quite breathy and weak. So vocal training works on practicing putting more effort into the voice#and retraining the brain to accept the 'loud' voice as 'normal'.#Isn't the human body fascinating?#Anyhow; Now I have vocal exercises and strategies to reduce strain and promote healing.#Which is a lot better than my previous strategy of yelling AAAH in my car until my 'voice smoothed out'.#You can imagine the horror on the speech path's face. I am an informed creature now.#I'm my own little lab rat now. I love learning and researching. Welcome to my tag lab. Class is dismissed.#I'll be back later with a few more answered asks </3 despite everything I'm still going to work and I need the extra sleep.#Thank you for the well wishes! And if you read all of that info dump; thank you for that as well!
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.
#it should be noted that I tried distracting myself from wanting to be dead in a hole and no longer have teeth or shame or the horrors#by watching Grey’s Anatomy#because other people’s made up drama is better than whatever my brain is giving me right now#and I ended up watching an episode where a major character#has a dental abscess that gives her a bacterial heart infection and heart attack and all the complications that follow.#I would just like to say#fuck my life#I KNOW THIS IS FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS#I JUST#WANT TO ***#RATHER THAN EVER DEAL WITH TEETH EVER AGAIN IN MY LIFE#I’ll never forgive my mom and my old dentist and hygienists for being ‘kind’ but shaming me so much for so many years without ever once help#*helping me#what was I supposed to do with that?#I can’t hate myself into taking better care of my teeth#and it’s such a beast to overcome that I barely make a dent before something throws me off the bandwagon and I’m terrified to even feel that#I have a mouth all over again!!!#shh katie#there’s no way that one of my teeth at least will be savagely#*salvagable#it needed a root canal in 2021 there’s no way#but if I need teeth pulled I genuinely will spiral#it’s the ultimate shame#EVEN THOUGH PEOPLE IN OUR FAMILY HAVE HAD TO HAVE THAT DONE#even though my mom and sister have had tons of cavities!#it was never allowed for ME#I was supposed to be the PERFECT one#who never ever had any of the issues my older siblings or parents did#and it’s all taken as me not caring or being lazy or being stupid and uninformed and it’s NOT#I DON’T WANT TO LIVE LIKE THIS EITHER CAN NO ONE UNDERSTAND THAT
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...
#man ive never seen an eating disorder kill someone else besides a parent infecting a child but my nana is really trying#shes like 1000% orthotexic. will not eat anything not filled with vegetables or fat. and my grandpa is 87yo with a heart condition currentl#in the hospital for covid bc thry went to Christmas church and dont believe in being vaccinated and my dad is so frustrated#bc he knows his mom is not gonna give his dad hearty foods. he needs to eat like protein shakes and meat and ice cream. anything thats not#her cooking which sucks on top of being extremely healthy. except its not healthy bc they dont eat a balanced diet#so its my nanas eating disorder killing her husband and shes so fucking frustrating. im like 99% sure she has obsessive compulsive#personally disorder bc she fits to a T and has zero insight. she may have full on 0cd bc talking to my dad he has more obvious 0cd#compulsions than i do. he used to say phrases before going to bed and would take 2 steps across the floor to prevent bad things from#happening. so like im pretty sure my nana is where i get my perfectionism and 0cd. god. i wish i could express how fucked up she is#like my dad said at least he had a stable home to grow up in but like she has zero sympathy for other people. cannot look past herself. wil#not wear a mask bc she doesnt care enough abt other ppl. my dad was like: u would not have survived in that house. which is fair bc i am#barely keeping it together coming from a stable home with two sympathetic parents who i know love me#and like its sad that they're suffering the effects of buying into the fox news bullshit and its killing them#but also. genuinely. i think theyre not very good ppl. theyre the type of people who think they're better bc they're religious. white. and#thin. and theyre not better thsn anyone. their grandchildren cant stand them. well cant stand her at least. papa is just quite so its hard#to say what hes thinking. apparently he was confused last night and saying something about eating dinner on the golf course. which sounds#nicer thsn being in the hospital lol. ugh. he seems not long for this world tbh. may he pass peacefully to b with his 1st wife who died of#brain cancer at age like 20 or something. so it goes. bleh. how many funerals are intended for me in the next 5 years? hopefully none but#that seems improbable with the unspoken drain circling that seems to b going on in this family. old age and like almost 10 years of cancer#defying the stats but for how much longer?#i dunno. its just so weird to watch these things happen and not talk about it directly to the other ppl who see it#i worry that ill come off as too callose or inappropriate bc i have that tendency when something bad is happening but thats everyone else#excuse? idk i just feel like its better to talk abt things#unrelated#ed mention#i tell u this so i can say these things to someone and also bc if i were u. i would like to hear the drama#bc im nosey and i assume other r too ;-]
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Robotnik looking at Stone one day and just… staring… thinking, until he comes to a sudden and impromptu decision one day.
“Why don’t we leave and never come back!”
He decides then, while looking at Stone, that it doesn’t matter what they do or where they are, if Stone’s there, they can do anything together. So why not just runaway for a while and leave it all behind? Enough of the incompetent government breathing down their necks, they could just live. And Robotniks not sure what this feeling is or what this impulse is but he’s so ready to just run. Not in defeat, not out of fear, but just because they can!
#stobotnik#agent stone#dr robotnik#ivo robotnik#I want to write something with this concept SO bad#obsessed with Robotnik just. realizing none of it matters if he’s got stone#and making rash decisions like skipping town on the governments dime#HRRRRR eats my hands#these two have infected my brain so thoroughly I cannot stop#Robotnik has a gay midlife crisis more at 11
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I don't know if you're going to answer this but, Vigilante Tiso, is this an AU of yours? If so, I'm curious about the context of this concept!
Yep! Vigilante Tiso is one of my older and blog popular AU’s for Hollow Knight (based on poll results)
Originally, it started as a joke about Tiso being in Hallownest early just to take the piss out of PK and Lurien, but slowly developed into a more complicated story about Tiso being Xero and Markoth’s son (Xero biologically and Markoth via marrying into the family) as Tiso moved to Hallownest much earlier - eventually putting his distaste for the royalty into become the cities Vigilante that continued through the Infection Outbreak and in-game events. Instead of an arrogant ant that dies in the Colosseum, he’s a hot headed ant that’s been trying to protect survivors of a dying kingdom whilst wanting a solution and is willing to die for it.
A lot of it focuses more on the character relationships as they change and are affected by the story events - particularly with a small family being torn apart as simple mortals in a gods war.
#happy screms#vigilante tiso#its certainly one of my favourite aus tbh#i just havent had the brain power to think for more things for it rn but i also do#im always open to talk about it! the steam died down for it but it still lives rent free#there’s a lot more - but that would be a really long answer lmfao#like how tiso basically becomes vessel dad out of outrage over how the vessels even came to be and treated#tiso whilst still being arrogant and hot headed - is a lot more mellowed out from both heavy trauma and how well xero and markoth did-#-raising him. also the two dont die but aren’t present still for after Infection things until after ETV ending#sometimes i might also doodle for offshoot aus for fun. mostly Pantheon!VT (which is just tiso joining ghost in the pantheons to personally-#-fight the god that tore his happy home apart. its personal)#if the tag length wasn’t obvious enough - i still think very hard about this au because im personally happy with how i’ve written the-#-relationships. hell i’ve been meaning to add something to lurien and tiso’s dynamic :)#basically uh - recommend looking through the tag or asking if anything has changed since it has been years and obviously my thoughts on-#-some things will change
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i think my university fucking bit me wtf
#it started last semester or maybe even last year but they infected me with an anxiety that completely rewired my brain#i have general anxiety disorder & i’ve had the occasional ‘something bad is gonna happen’ day where im anxious the whole day for no reason#but then it changed to this like. academic anxiety that got so bad i was like. nauseous all the time throwing up i had to go to a counselor#and now i’m straight up paranoid. like idk maybe i’m not using the word right but i’m convinced every day all my worst fears are gonna—#just happen one after the other. my tumblr will be revealed to my family. my toxic ex will come back into my life—#my money for school is revoked things like that.#because adult life is just so confusing and convoluted and works against people#and my anxiety just goes through this loop of ‘everyone dislikes you/hates you/thinks you’re annoying’ so -> ‘you’re gonna get in trouble’#so -> ‘your life will be irreparably damaged and/or you will die’#the ‘you’re gonna get in trouble’ bit especially gets me because it’s like bitch how!! i follow laws!! i cheat a bit less than the average—#student! any time someone has a concern with like my work performance or something they politely tell me#why do i have the anxiety of a fucking hunted animal over these things!!#i wanna be numb actually i miss that time. it still sucks but at least i don’t make myself sick#things would be so much easier if i was a house spouse who cooked & cleaned (with no kids) & didn’t have a job or go to school#ofc managing a house has its own challenges and i don’t wanna undermine that but ykwim#i want this fuckin eye of sauron off my ass already 🧍#and don’t even get me started on the ‘you have to do this little task in this specific way or else everyone you love will die’ thoughts#that’s a whole other mess#tw vent#rose.txt
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Yaaaayyyyyyyy vettonso wip!!:
THEY WON'T LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!!
I barely ever use my physical sketchbook, but now there is literally 12 pages just of trying to figure these guys out....
But hey happy to say I can actually draw Seb's face from memory!! I like it better when I can draw from memory than having to stare at ref pics. Nothing wrong with using ref, I use it all the time, but it causes me to think about it way too much. Fernando I've really only drawn one other time so I kinda just copied off my last one as a placeholder 😭 so I should probably just stare at pictures of him for a while, like I did with Seb, until his face is eventually burned into brain
This is like, first joint portrait into the arranged marriage type vibe sjfkfl
#tumblr deleted all my tags 🌚#well anyways i guess ill type them out again.......#its very amusing to me looking at all these historical paintings for ref#and then suddenly being hit wirh the self awareness of 'im drawing f1 yaoi rn.......'#its just you guys and me in this Kaiser Charles VI and Philip V!!!!!#so like this pose has been haunting me like wont leave my head until i fufill it properly#and ive just been sketching their two poses everywhere to try anf figure it out#and then ended up looking up pics of Maria Theresa and Francis I to see what joint portaits look like#and uh i mean not too far off! i think looking at paintings infected my brain at some point....#i mean tho obv im making them more touchy than most paintings would be 🤭🤭🤭#im most happy with seb's little kitty face!! still need to work on the anatomy/proportions/outfits etc#but i find seb somewhat easy to draw. i think having 3k+ pics of him really has done something to my brain#catie.rambling.txt#catie.art.#boy king au
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The niche support group I need is one for people who became long COVID-damaged during or shortly after their conversion process because it truly fucks everything when newfound memory issues start pulling the bricks out of the foundation you had to lay by hand yourself
#erin is talking#the alpha variant was BAD and I developed long COVID from an infection in April 2020#anterograde from 2020 -> this is the time frame long COVID has hit the worst in terms of memories#it's somehow worse than just forgetting because I mix up specific details even of really important memories#and become convinced that's how it happened until some actual recorded evidence contradicts me#so it often just looks like I'm lying about details but the reality is that long COVID eats them#or like processing them is way slower than it used to be#my boss asked me recently if I knew what the n'tilat yada'im cup he was holding is and I said no#because my brain literally couldn't process what I was seeing for like half a second too long#and it made me look like I have way less knowledge than I should and do. I know what a n'tilat yada'im cup is!#it's super upsetting to look at something you KNOW what it is and not be able to process what it is#it'd probably be really interesting for *someone* to speak to the experience of converting and developing a disability#but it's too frustrating and makes me too sad for it to be me#it's literally such a niche experience but I know I can't be the only person in this position
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okay but how do you ask for help when your childhood makes you feel guilty for needing help and the help that you need feels rude to ask for
#im really struggling to function rn and i finally accepted that i wont make it to my appt without help#so i posted on my snap story asking if anyone could come over for a few hours to help me get back on track#n. two people replied saying they cant but hope i find someone but no one else has replied at all#i knew the answer would probably be no bc no one has time to come all the way here to help me to do tasks i should be able to do alone#but idk i thought i might get some comfort or encouragement or something. just some acknowledgement#i wish i had a group chat or something where i could reach out to people. bc things like snap stories people are just flicking past#i NEED to change the kitty litter today i have no choice its unusable and needs changing but i just. how. i am so tired#i have a ridiculous amount of glasses n crockery specifically for when i struggle like this n yet im still almost completely out of them#bc i just. cant do the dishes. i dont even have to wash them they just need to go in the dishwasher n i Cant#my brain just completely shut down once i got back from the trip#especially bc i got a cold n i dont cope well being sick at all#but of course thats another reason i feel bad asking for help. bc my house is full of germs. n i dont want people to get sick bc of me#but i am running out of food and clean dishes and bench space and i just. cant do it alone rn#but i used up my asking capabilities posting on snap#posting on insta would prob get more people to see it but insta feels. much more public#i dont use my insta stories like ever so it feels like a Lot to post on it for this#n when i asked for support after my parents divorce i only got a couple responses anyway#n this is. not worth support. like its a problem of my own making? i went on the trip knowing it would be a Lot for me#i wasnt planning on getting sick And getting an infection which are both exhausting me a lot but thats not the point#idk im just beating myself up over here. idk how to ask for help esp bc i expect the answer to be no anyway#like who is gonna travel an hour+ to help their friend clean their kitchen and fill out paperwork. im 28 i should be able to do that stuff#these tags are getting very maudlin and mean to myself. sigh. i wish i didnt feel so guilty when i need help#i wish i felt like i was allowed to ask for and accept help#love that childhood and autistic trauma haha lmao#anyway. brains are annoying. and im struggling a lot.
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My standards for RWBY are still high but I do catch myself going "Well at least it wasn't as bad as least season," like girl? The show is still bad but it's not as bad as what? Season 6? Season 8? Some of the worst seasons of the show??? Girl.... get a grip.
#my standards are high because those first three seasons had good fights#and i miss when the show had something appealing#there's nothing appealing anymore outside of just hate watching#i don't even want to hate watch as much anymore.#i'm not even sure it's sunk cost. i think that show has just infected my brain#new rwby is still awful what's new and i will not be moving on till they make one good fight and don't ruin it
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a bit of writing about the sunshipduo zombie au where guqqie is partly infected, after guqqie's infection had fully taken over and guqqie eventually went past the point of no return:
eventually, just like c!aimsey, this aimsey will let guqqie go and move on, they will grieve, so so much, and they will keep guqqie close to their heart for as long as they live but eventually they'll find a way to enjoy life again, no matter the desolate world and circumstances he has to live in.
maby he'll find others like ranboo, michela, tubbo and tommy, maby phil and kristin and he'll have a family again, he'll wont be alone anymore.
he will find a home again,
a home without guqqie, but that's just how life is. It doesnt always go your way, and there isn't always a happy ending,
but it will be allright,
somehow,
impossibly so,
it will be allright.
#sunshipduo zombie au#guqqie#aimsey#sunshipduo#this au has taken over my brain#theres just something about stories without happy endings#a friend of mine said theres something about stories about grief and letting go and moving on that's just so human#loving is the most human thing one can do and grief is the unfortunate side effect of love#something about this aimsey holding on to guqqie for so long cause the infection hasnt spread That far yet there is still a chance right?#something about them realising that no there isnt still a chance this is it this is the ending guqqie cant stay with them forever#it truly is such a hopeless situation its almost unfair to give them a chance give them partial immunity but it not being enough#is it a mercy? to let it consume her slowly give them more time together or would it have been better if death wouldve came instantly#theres something about aimsey holding on so much and then eventually Still needing to let guqqie go#doomed in every universe#SunshipInfectedAu
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god hes really making this difficult with the tweets, but, I hope we all recognize that the reasons hes a bad person, and the reasons he would make a bad president, are because of his shitty beliefs, and not, because of an infection that could and does happen to anyone?
There is absolutely nothing you could make up about American politics. Imagination is dead. It's useless.
#rfkjr#rfk jr#parasites tw#parasites#i might be wrong about all this im not like a parasitologist or anything theres just something wrong with me: but. 1)#my understanding is that its tapeworm cysts? the larval form of a tapeworm that you get via ingesting tapeworm eggs. they then migrate#through the body and sort of. take up residence in the tissues of the host. this is often asymptomatic but sometimes they can end up places#and cause issues. sometimes they can end up in eyes. and sometimes they can end up in brains. my understanding is that they dont really#like. eat any part of the host in this stage theyre just vibing? but idk maybe thats how they get through the tissues. but also they dont#have mouths??? then im pretty sure they take up residence there and chill for awhile in cyst form kinda trying to lay low so the immune#system doesnt get them. at this point they are generally waiting for the host to be eaten by a predator so they can hatch from the cyst#in the gut of the predator and take up the form most ppl know of w tapeworms of. big long worm living in your gut. they still dont have#mouths but they actually eat by just sort of passively absorbing nutrients over their entire body through the skin and they just keep#getting longer w body segments until the one at the end reaches your ass and then they release that one and thats where all the eggs are#and you shit that out and they begin the lifecycle anew.#also neurocysticercosis (worm cyst in brain) is possibly the most common cause of infection caused epilepsy?#oh is that specific to the pork tapeworm? hmm interesting#anyway. POINT BEING. 1) this is probably not as uncommon as you think it is. and its shitty to stigmatize infections#2) god hes REALLY MAKING THIS HARD BY TWEETING ABOUT IT LIKE THIS but the worm is incidental. the worm has nothing to do with why he sucks#he could be worm free and like the picture of complete and total health physically and mentally but if his politics stayed the same he'd#still be bad!!!!! actually tbh he'd be worse imo. picture of health motherfuckers with politics like his are fucking insufferable.#THE POINT. THE POINT IS. can we go back to making fun of him for being an antivax fuckwad please god#do it or i will tell you all more things about worms. unless you want to hear more about worms in which case#do it or i WONT tell you more about worms. i will only tell the ppl who will recoil from the info
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#these fish posts are gonna always be vent/spiral posts btw#trying to decide if it’s worse to spiral about my own health or a loved ones health#think it has to be a tie maybe worse for spiraling for someone else bc idk what they’re feeling when I know what I’m feeling#I’m worried about my mom’s health tonight she seems fine and it’s probably just side effects from stress but I’m still worried about her#a lot bc of my own issues with health but I cant help it I’m worried she might have an infection and that it could lead to something#extremely serious very fast like in hours fast but I have no real reason to think so other than like she feels blah and has some pain where#the infection could be idk my brain just doesn’t work and I’m just worried about my mom and feel like I have a right to worry but also feel#like I’m being stupid it’s just rough out here rn#I want to not think about it but it’s all I can think about you know? and I hate not thinking about it bc if it is something serious then I#feel like it’s my fault for not taking it more seriously if something happens idk I’m just freaking out and trying not to#god please just let me be normal
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