#SOMEONES THEORY THAT WHEN THEY TRY AND GET RID OF IT IT COMES BACK STRONGER

[poltergeist-coffee]

everytime i see people talk about the black matter on the qsmp i have to hold back the urge to talk about the taint from mianite

[lopsidedgryffins]

green’s inner conflict and how it is manifested through greenscreen: an analysis

TLDR at end!

disclaimer: this is probably really ooc, and is mostly speculation by a mediocre at best student of literature ++ i’ve never been good at lit, so this analysis is likely not gonna be great :/ feel free to criticise/comment on this analysis! i’m open to feedback if there’s any :)

SPOILERS FOR INFLUENCER ARC EPS 1 AND 2 AHEAD!

we first see greenscreen when the cg abandons an overdone/overedited video of theirs - he is quite literally borne of neglect, and is thus a symbol of green’s negligence towards his friends and the inner turmoil he faces in trying to cater to all his viewers. 

why does greenscreen appear as, well, green? green is basically fighting with himself, a form of inner conflict manifested through the CG’s fight with what is essentially green’s neglect and negative emotions. 

this is also super interesting because inner conflict is usually internal and invisible: that’s what most of it is about. however, alan and the team present it here through actual physical conflict, which parallels green’s fight with himself - to make the content that he and his friends want to make, or to cater to the viewers and leave his friends behind, becoming increasingly self-centred? 

in the first fight with greenscreen, the CG beat him as a group, and green even takes a photo of them together post-fight to upload to instagram. this symbolises green’s (temporary) triumph over his neglect for others, still caring for his friends. 

however, over time, green starts to drift from his friends. he distances himself from them, isolating himself in a minecraft room by himself to make videos, neglecting friendships, genuine feelings and enjoyment in preference for catering to his viewers and all their preferences, taking each piece of criticism too seriously. therefore, as green’s neglect toward his friendships with the CG continues and increases, greenscreen grows in power as the negativity and abandonment become worse.  

before we continue with that though, let’s talk about the recycle bin!

the recycle bin is a recurring figure across AvA - being used in both AvA and AvM to get rid of applications. that’s what a recycle bin is at its core - a receptacle for waste, left to be neglected, never truly emptied. both greenscreen and the deleted videos of the CG are thrown into the recycle bin, where they perhaps fester into who-knows-what in ep 3. you know who else was also unceremoniously thrown into a recycle bin/deleted? victim! after he escaped from the animator’s neglect towards his feelings and sentience, victim is out to get his revenge. the recycle bin takes it’s inhabitants’ negativity (in greenscreen’s case, neglect), and turns it stronger upon their escape. green’s dunking of greenscreen into the recycle bin in ep 1 is symbolic of him ignoring his tendency to ignore and leave his friends behind in the pursuit of content creation. he does not actively work on stopping such behaviour, instead leaving it in a metaphorical (and literal) recycle bin, letting his habit of neglecting others in the chase for something he desires to grow. 

my theory is that greenscreen may come back in the last episode of the influencer arc, beating green at first, symbolising green’s negligence towards his friends’ feelings consuming him in his pursuit of content creation, but this is overcome as he realises the situation he is in - where he finally beats greenscreen and with him, his internal conflict, not by throwing him into the recycle bin where the neglect will be left to fester, but by coming to terms with his plight, communicating with his friends and agreeing to create the content that they want to create, putting an end to the negligence and laying greenscreen to rest.

(as of writing this, green’s newest video (reacting to my friends having fun without me) shows the rest of the CG being thrown around? it looks like they’re fighting something/someone, which is very likely whatever spawned from the recycle bin - i’m guessing this is greenscreen.)

TLDR: greenscreen is a physical manifestation of green’s neglect towards his friends AND his internal conflict, who will return in ep3 of the influencer arc, but will ultimately be beaten by green which symbolises him stepping back from content creation.

thanks for reading till the end! really appreciate it if you read the whole thing - once again this is purely my own speculation, opinions and theory!

[mayasaura]

sorry if someone has asked this before, but is there a canon explanation on how Wake ended up revenant-bonded to Gideon's sword? and if not, do you have any theories? trying to figure this out after my reread of harrow

No one ever explains exactly how it worked in the books, or at least they haven't yet, but they do give us enough general information about revenants to come up with a theory.

Short version is that she probably first formed a connection to the sword while Gideon was visiting her bones, and was called to it by the blood offerings that naturally happen when an energetic child is first learning how to use and care for a blade.

Longer analysis of what we know about revenant theory and how it relates to Wake under the cut, because of who I am as a person.

So here's how I've pieced the events together:

When Wake died, the first thing the nuns of the Ninth did was call her spirit back to ask her "what the fuck?". In chapter one of Gideon the Ninth, Gideon says that the shade of her mother "could not be tempted back for fresh blood or old," and describes her soul as having been "too far gone" for conversation by the time the nuns "had tethered her by force". That's obviously what the nuns told Gideon, though knowing what we know now about Wake I'd guess it was more a refusal to participate than faded strength. Either way, they did manage to force her back, if only briefly.

It's established in the Mysterious Study of Doctor Sex that calling a spirit can be enough to create a revenant bond, even if the spirit doesn't make contact. The nuns briefly trapping Wake's soul is how she initially became a revenant.

Okay, cool. So that's how she stuck around on the Ninth, but how did she get from her bones to Gideon's sword?

To have a revenant bond, she needs to have first had a thanergetic connection. None of the specific examples Ianthe suggests in the lesson with Augustine apply to Wake and the sword. It's a standard-issue Cohort sword taken straight from the still-wrapped box eight years after Wake's death. It wasn't used to kill her, it wasn't buried with her, and she had no connection to it in life. So there's no ready-made explaination to find there.

The important thing from that lesson is the concept of how those connections form: all it takes is exposure to a strong source of the revenant's thanergy. Usually that's something to do with their death, or something buried with them, but it doesn't have to be. If the person was murdered, just having come in contact with the murder weapon could be enough to form a weak connection. Seeing as a revenant has a much stronger connection with its corpse than it does to its murder weapon, the same is probably true of something that has touched the bones of the deceased.

That might be enough on its own to explain how Wake got there, but I think it being specifically a sword she was connected to helped strengthen the connection. It's mentioned several times that ghosts are hungry, and that revenants feed. The first offering made to tempt their hunger is always fresh blood. The most reliable source of fresh blood on the dried-up Ninth was probably Gideon and her sword, while she learned how to use it. Fumbles while learning drills, a slipped hand while sharpening or cleaning, that kind of thing. With Wake already having a connection to the sword from exposure, fresh blood being regularly applied to the blade could have tempted her revenant to take up residence.

The funeral niches of the Ninth House aren't closed; Gideon just chucks a rusted sword into one to get rid of it in chapter four of GtN. The bones are just chilling on little stone shelves, out in the open-ish air of the catacombs. All it would have taken for Wake to form her initial connection would be for Gideon to lean the sword against the edge of Wake's niche so that it brushed against her bones. It could have happened accidentally. Kids also do weird stuff sometimes, especially when they're trying to process big shit like dead moms and neglect. Maybe Gideon laid the sword in the niche with Wake to share her prized possession with her mother.

I'm going to be a little more speculative here, going into the whys and hows of it all. Why blood? What is it that revenants eat, and how did Wake sustain herself for almost twenty years on the Ninth?

Augustine gives us part of the answer in his comparison of Resurrection Beasts to revenants:

Resurrection Beasts feed like revenants: they find thalergenic planets and guzzle them up wholesale, crack them open like clams, and take the soul for meat.

So revenants feed on thalergy, which is something living bodies produce and what living souls are made of. Feeding them blood does make sense, then, because blood contains thalergy. We learn that from Pyrrha, when she advises Harrow to use fresh blood wards on her room to keep herself safe from the Saint of Duty. He can drain thanergy, but not when it's mixed with the thalergy of fresh blood.

If revenants eat thalergy, that means Wake has most likely been subsisting on Gideon's thalergy, either from the blood she spills on her sword or through a direct connection with Gideon herself. Good thing Gideon's slightly immortal or that could have become a problem, depending on how much energy Wake needed. If Augustine is being entirely literal about revenants and resurrection beasts feeding in the same way, she may have even been snacking a bit on Gideon's soul.

And I don't really know if this means anything, but I noticed something interesting about the timeline.

Gideon started visiting Wake when she was seven, and Wake's skeleton was taken from its niche to be processed and added to the rotation when Gideon was eight. I'm guessing that's when Wake ditched the bones and changed her address of primary residence. The interesting part is that Gideon first started training with a sword around the same time: when she was eight years old.

But... the average height of an eight year old is 128 cm, a couple inches over four feet. The sword's six feet of steel would have been half again Gideon's height. There's no way she was being effectively taught how to fight with it at that age. I guess she could have had it anyway, to learn how to care for it and as a goal to aspire to while Aiglamene graduated her through more child-sized training weapons.

So Wake jumping directly from the bones to the sword only works if Gideon started training with a full-sized sword at the age of eight. That's not impossible, knowing Aiglamene. It's also not impossible that Harrow, who signed the order to give Gideon the sword, was already helping administer the House at the age of six or seven. Her parents don't seem to have ever imposed very firm oversight. Harrow may have had the legitimate power to do that, or maybe she started forging her mother's signature well before she died.

That's the most likely explanation, especially given how there's nothing in Harrow the Ninth to suggest that revenant can fully anchor itself to an occupied living body. Wake must have needed to possess something exterior to Gideon herself, or she wouldn't have had a reason to set up in the sword at all. But a revenant can haunt a person. It can create a link, and chill in the subconscious without anyone knowing it's there. I wonder if she did that with Gideon.

Edit 11/9/22: Changed some wording for clarity and added a bit on the sword's origin to the body of the post.

[wallsshouldtalk]

STRANGER THINGS 4 VOL. 2 SPOILERS

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OKAY so i’ll start off by saying i cry at literally nothing ever and i dehydrated myself from crying harder than i’ve cried in 10 years at eddie’s death scene. i’m a tough cookie but not when it comes to silly, goofy, lovable, rock-star nerd eddie munson. am i going through genuine grief? yes! so is my denial misplaced? most likely!! but i have a theory anyway

SO!!!! we know the duffers are not above a fake death/ misleading death (see hopper), so maybe they’re trying that again with eddie. as far as we know, dustin didn’t bring back his body- meaning we don’t have proof that eddie fully died/ remained dead. now yes, he was pretty torn up and overall doing not his best, but was it so much damage that survival would be completely impossible? i feel like maybe not. pain and shock can do some pretty weird shit to the body and passing out is not a crazy reaction to have after being mauled by monster demon bats.

aside from the “medical” reasoning, eddie’s role (although new) is not really as a side character, and to get rid of someone with as much potential as our metal DM would have to have some stronger reasoning than a “redemption” arc with a pointless sacrifice. barb, bob, and alexei were insanely lovable characters and played their parts wonderfully, but mostly their roles were about how they affected other people. barb was there to lead nancy into this upside down business, bob was there to give advice and comfort to will and be that sacrifice of “bob newby the superhero”, and alexei needed to be there to help our adult crew. eddie’s story line was more independent and had a leg to stand on even if the rest of our hawkins crew wasn’t there. he wasn’t tagging along, he became a part of the main crew (minus jonathan, will, el, and mike). eddie dying serves no purpose, except to make dustin sad, and doesn’t really fit in with the previous thing of introducing a character only to kill them at the end. so, maybe, eddie wakes up in season 5, gravely injured and alone, and is trying to find a way out and back to the gang. maybe that serves the purpose of giving us eyes on the inside or maybe it’ll give eddie the chance he deserved to clear his name (SINCE NO ONE ELSE SEEMS TO BE WILLING TO STEP UP AND SAY ANYTHING FOR THE PERSON WHO LITERALLY THREW HIMSELF INTO A HOARD OF DEMOBATS YO SAVE A BUNCH OF PEOPLE THAT HATE HIM) or maybe it’s so he can walk the stage and get the diploma he rightfully deserves. at this point i don’t care what the reason is i’ll be honest. also the writing has been quite strategic in the past, so i feel like maybe they wouldn’t have eddie’s last lines be “this is my year” when it clearly is not. i guess we’ll see.

joseph quinn did also make that comment about wanting to do scenes with charlie in s5. now, granted, that may have been just to fuck with all of us, but i’ll take hope where i can get it.

my theory has no real evidence or proof of any kind to support it, but denial is the first stage of grief and this is how i’m choosing to view it until someone explicitly tells me no. even then, i’ll probably ignore them and keep living in blissful ignorance until 2024 when s5 comes out and throws my heart into a wood-chipper. the duffers aren’t perfect writers by any stretch, but i am choosing to have a little faith that their choices are more calculated than this. thanks for listening to my delusions

edit: joseph quinn just did an interview where he talked about how he would’ve liked to come back for another season, but that he was satisfied with the end of eddie’s character arc. sounds like this death was a real one folks (unless this is all some super extra silly prank)!!! i’m gonna leave this theory up here though in case some crazy, wacky miracle occurs and we are all allowed to have hope again.

link to article:

edit/ update pt.2: NEW interview (yes somehow already) reveals that joe really may not know how the future of eddie will play out. he says that he’s been talking with joe keery about ways eddie could make an appearance! so hope is not lost! hopefully the duffer brothers realize that they just made the literal largest mistake ever getting rid of quinn as an actor and eddie as a character and they’ll just do an uno reverse moment <3 essentially: FUCK THIS SHOW FOR PLAYING HOT POTATO WITH MY FEELINGS

link to pt2 article:

[aroacemisha]

Why Hunter and Belos Are Actually Related

I mentioned in this post that I’m 99.9% sure Hunter and Belos are actually related, but I only gave surface level reasoning for it. I thought I’d make a full post explaining why I believe they’re definitely related.

So, the reason people are doubting whether Hunter and Belos are actually related is because when talking to Luz, Hunter said that Belos found him. I think that’s flimsy reasoning.

Consider this: which scene is more likely to be truthful? One with Hunter’s actual family who he’s known for years, or one with a stranger he’s only met twice? I think we all know the answer here. The scene with him and Belos is a better reference than the one with him and Luz.

In the post I linked in the beginning I explained why he’d lie to Luz even when opening up, and in the first paragraph of the actual theory (and later in the post) I mentioned the reasons why I think Hunter and Belos are related:

Hunter calling Belos “uncle”

Belos saying “our family”

The possibility of them hiding it from the public, which would explain why Hunter lied to Luz

Let’s go through all of these and more.

1. Hunter calling Belos “uncle”

As I mentioned in that post, I think Hunter would just call him “dad” if he was a random adopted child. The only possibility I can see where it makes sense for Hunter to call Belos “uncle” without them being related is if he was initially adopted by Belos’s sibling and then only after that he was adopted by Belos himself, but that’s needlessly complicated, and I think it’s pretty clear he was only adopted by Belos.

2. Belos saying “our family”

Exactly what it sounds like. The wording here implies Hunter’s inclusion.

3. The possibility of them hiding it from the public.

I’ve already explained this one in the linked post, but I’ll do it again here.

Hunter’s face is clearly not well-known, considering that the guards at the police precinct didn’t recognize him, and no one in Latissa reacted to his presence either, so the true identity of the Golden Guard isn’t common knowledge. As someone pointed out in the notes on my post, Belos might be the only one who actually calls him by his name.

But what motivated me to make this post is that I actually realized something I missed before, and only noticed when I was getting screenshots for another post I’m doing:

Hunter and Belos are alone in both of their scenes together. That’s an even better indicator that those scenes are more truthful when it comes to their relation, because they have no reason to lie to each other about it. And it also supports the theory of them hiding their connection from the public.

I actually didn’t realize they were alone at the end of the episode, I was so focused on Hunter and Belos that the Abomitons must’ve tricked my eyes or something and made me think there were guards there. But no, Hunter and Belos are alone with essentially just two robots.

I’m actually pretty confident now that they’re keeping their connection a secret, and that by itself is enough to explain why he didn’t mention it to Luz. The question now is why they’re hiding it.

I think it could possibly be to protect Hunter: being the Golden Guard he’s already a huge target, and Belos probably doesn’t want him to be targeted even more. Publicly stating that they’re related would be like yelling “Heeey! Here’s the person I care about most, come kill him!”, because some people who hate Belos might try to hurt Hunter to get to him. He doesn’t want to put a target on Hunter’s back or open himself up to extortion.

And finally, I want to mention that we now know for a fact that Hunter is powerless and that his staff has artificial magic. I think the lack of natural magic is something he and Belos have in common.

Their staffs are very similar and emit the same red glow, so it’s pretty safe to say they’re the same kind of technology. And here’s another thing: this moment in Young Blood Old Souls where Belos uses magic without his staff?

It’s the same red glow again.

I’ve heard someone say it could be that his armor (or whatever it is) is made out of the same material as his staff and also contains artificial magic. I think that makes sense, and it would also create the illusion of Belos using natural magic. And as for his inhuman movement, it’s likely a result of the condition he’s suffering from (probably a curse). We’ve seen another example with his arm extending like this:

Aaand yes, I do think it’s likely that both of them are descendants of Philip Wittebane and are part human. Belos and Philip have very similar accents, and the outline of Hunter’s hair is similar to Philip’s. It’s likely that the human gene is strong, and even generations later witches descended from humans are born without a bile sac, explaining both Hunter’s and Belos’s lack of natural magic.

This would also partially explain why Belos is restricting other witches’ magic through the coven system and trying to get rid of wild magic altogether - so that they aren’t much stronger than him and are closer to being his equals, which would make them less of a potential threat as well. Kinda makes me think of the Equalists from The Legend of Korra.

[levi-ish]

Little Talks | 5

Pairing: Bartender!Levi X Reader

Genre: [+18] Slice of life, drama, romance, fluff, smut

Words: 3k

Warnings: Alcohol, cheating mentions, drugs, cussing

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5

Masterlist

“Your taste in tea is shit” Levi scanned through the old teabags you had lingering in your cabinets.

“Sorry if I don’t have enough money to buy those fancy blends you like” you rolled your eyes as you leaned further into the throw pillows you had on top of your old couch.

“Tch.”

You turned around and watched the man tumble around with your mugs and you knew that he hated your unmatching sets, always making small comments about them. He then set for the most common ones you had and brought them to you after quickly making your drinks.

It had been a few weeks since the night when Levi comforted you after your ex-beloved’s visit. You two held hands and pretended that it was nothing while watching random cooking shows, then after you fell asleep he left but not before making you another cup of tea that you woke up to find inside your microwave, sitting there waiting for you.

You thanked him in person two days after and exchanged numbers because he claimed that he didn’t ‘trust’ your building’s security. Even when you told him that Zeke only got up because your concierge knew him.

But now things were better than you could expect. Levi would drive you home almost every night and wait for your ‘ok’ text when you took the elevator, to be sure you were safe and sound. He mostly made you tea at 4AM when the bar was closing and you had no classes the day after, and you two hung around at your apartment quite a lot, watching shitty movies and listening to him complain about how you were doing your laundry all wrong.

Whoever saw you two together would think you were a couple of elderlies married.

“I can’t believe he didn’t like how she plated it” you pointed at the TV, quite angry at the cooking show passing on. “She even put those fancy herbs.”

“It’s shit”

“Everything is ‘shit’ to you” you rolled your eyes.

“Only the things that are shit” Levi replied as he sipped on his tea.

You rolled eyes once more as you felt the shift on the sofa, not noticing his movements if it weren’t for it. Levi held his phone to his eyes and a sheer of light illuminated his strong features, highlighting that glorious jawline and the thin lips you—

What?

Shaking your head, you quickly got rid of those thoughts, adjusting your own position and making your back fall more comfortably on the cushions. Levi let a small sigh and brought the teacup back to his mouth, drinking slowly.

“Hange again?” You asked, giving him the side of your eye as you stirred your own drink.

“Kirstein this time” Levi replied, letting out his signature ‘tch’. “I should’ve been there. Those idiots can’t do their jobs properly without supervision.”

“Hange forcing people to listen to their theories again?”

“No. Jean broke the sink and is trying to blame it on the weather somehow.”

“How…”

“No fucking idea.” Levi put his phone back inside his pocket and drank the last of his tea, sighing after. It was a heavenly vision to see, you weren’t gonna lie.

With a small yawn, you stretched your legs and downed the tea in one gulp, earning a side eye from the man who wasn’t pleased you were appreciating one of his fancy blends. The minty taste lingered on your tongue as you licked your lips, and you could smell the hint of cinnamon wandering in the room, mixing with Levi’s cologne that you so much adored.

“I’m bored” you let out, pouting as you rested your face on the pillow closer to his shoulder.

“You wouldn’t be if you stayed quiet and watched the show.”

“Do you hate me or what” you scoffed, pouting even more.

Levi turned to you, watching your expression and that’s when you noticed how close you were to him. His breath fanned over your face and you swore you could see his lips twitching and him inching closer, clearing your throat, you looked down, completely breaking eye contact.

“Do you really wanna know?” He replied and you pushed him. “At least clean your hands before touching me.”

“You wish I was touching you” you bit your lip and rose your brows teasingly.

He turned to your face once more, eyes dead serious focusing on you and he licked his lips slowly, posture completely changing.

“Maybe.”

He caught you off guard with that comment, making a small shiver go down your spine, but you decided that brushing it off would be better than acknowledging new reasons to make the relationship you two had more uncomfortable. You knew Levi wasn’t very pushy about things and probably would forget about it as soon as you would, without giving it another thought.

Oh well.

“Uh…” you tried to say, licking your lips again after your mouth went full dry “… are you hungry?”

“No” he said, eyes still on you as you tried to get his attention away from you.

“Uhm… then do you wanna do something else or…?”

Levi inched closer now, his nose brushing against yours and breath warming your chin as you rubbed skin together, feeling each other scents and every little movement was big enough to make both bodies swarm under the tension in the room.

“Levi… what…”

But before you could continue, he closed the distance, lips colliding as you felt the dry specs of his chapped skin brushing against yours. Is this really happening? What…? It was, and he was still going, hand now holding your nape to have your face closer to his than before, as if he never wanted to let go. You turned to the side to allow his tongue inside, feeling it dancing with yours in a difficult and shy but intense tango that seemed too familiar but strange at the same time.

It was a sensation you never wanted to end.

But as soon as it started, it stopped; his hand left your neck and went back to his side, and his usually unfazed look now seemed more panicked, as if he was already regretting it.

Please, god, don’t regret it. Please…

“I—”

You were abruptly cut off by him standing from the couch and grabbing his coat by the rack, quickly opening the door and leaving your apartment, leaving you by yourself and with empty lips but a full heart that felt too heavy for your shallow chest.

Things changed since that.

Levi completely disappeared. Hange and Jean would say that he would leave the key to them and only showed up in the mornings to rearrange things the way he liked them but left very quickly each time. He didn’t text and you didn’t try to, knowing it would be useless since we are talking about him, most emotionally unavailable person to exist. You still went to the bar every night, trying to catch him around and maybe clear things up, but failed miserably.

You didn’t regret it, not at all. In fact, you wished it would last longer, even though it was enough material for your mind to wander around the floor full of eggshells that were your memories from that night. You wanted more, you wanted him, and now you weren’t ashamed of admitting it to yourself.

And you were almost giving up seeing him again, if it weren’t for Sasha, who was livid over how he had reacted and insisted on dragging you back to the bar.

So there you were, Mikasa holding one of your arms and Sasha holding the other, both giving you pep talks on how you should go there and confront him. You knew he was working tonight for sure, that’s because Mikasa told you she’d texted him about it before and learned he was taking some weird shifts and closing on weirder times. Annie was busy with her two-year anniversary with Armin, so she couldn’t come, but she did text you to be brave. The way Annie would, I mean, sending a small “punch him” and a smiley face.

“C’mon (y/n), you look hot and he will regret leaving when you show up” Sasha’s grip on your arm tightened as she tried to drag you inside. “Tell her, Mikasa”

“You look hot” the other woman said, and you knew that she wasn’t putting much effort in because it made you uncomfortable, otherwise you’d have been inside already since Mikasa was stronger than you two combined. “Levi’s an idiot.”

“I don’t wanna go” you said, whining as they let go of you for a moment. “He did what he did and I was pretty much rejected. I don’t wanna push harder.”

“What’s even his problem?!” Sasha crossed her arms, her expression turning into a mad one. “Was he always an idiot, Mikasa?”

“He changed a lot since he was left at the altar.”

“What” you and Sasha said in unison, shocked by the new piece of information.

“Did I never mention it?”

“No?” You frowned, coming closer to her face. “What do you mean by ‘left at the altar’?”

“Exactly that.”

“Mikasa” Sasha pushed her lightly.

“I don’t know exactly, I was 15, but he was getting married to this girl and she left him the day of the wedding.” Mikasa said as if it was nothing. “Everyone was there to see, and he was devastated.”

That left you wondering… a lot. Why’d Levi never tell you about that? You two went into some deep discussions at times, talking about stuff that you never dared to share with others, and he did open up a little about some of his things, but this? You thought that would be something to tell someone you would think of kissing. Unless he wasn’t really thinking those things about you, then it would be a whole other topic that you were too much of a coward to consider.

Did anyone else know? You had so many questions and you really wish you had the answers because of the anxiety now growing in the pit of your stomach.

“You didn’t think that was important information to share?” You questioned and Mikasa shook her head.

“Not really.”

“Okay, we are getting in. You can deal with that later” Sasha pushed you through the door and now you couldn’t say anything else because your feet already touched the wooden floor.

It was a full house, everyone was dancing and singing along with the old jukebox and there were girls leaning on the counter flirting with Jean as your eyes wandered. Hange was mixing drinks and Levi was nowhere to see, what made you feel a lot more comfortable being there. Sasha and Mikasa pushed through the crowd and found you a place on the counter, sitting on stools and leaving you to sit in between them, so you did, and the blonde bartender was the first one to notice you there.

“Ah!” He chirped loudly, leaving the girls behind to come to you. “My favorite girl… and company, hi, hello.”

You noticed he was now flirting with Mikasa, but she just ignored his presence.

“Hot wings!” Sasha punched the counter and grabbed you by side shoulder, pointing at the shelves. “And shots, keep them coming, my friend here needs them.”

“I’m sure she does” Jean kept his gaze on Mikasa, trying to be subtle about it as you rolled your eyes at him. “Our short friend has been pretty hard to deal with lately, so without you around I already knew something went down.”

“They kissed” Mikasa let out.

“ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT LEVI?” Screamed Hange from where they were, coming right away and pushing Jean with their hip. “Also, hi, but answer me!”

“They kissed” Mikasa repeated, and you gave up on trying to stop them.

Hange’s hand fell on your shoulder as they approached the group further, inserting the ponytail-head in the middle and readjusting the glasses above their nose, “You and shorty? Are you kidding me?! Tell me everything!”

“I’ll leave you to deal with Hange now” Jean said as they leaned a little more into Mikasa’s side. “So… are you in college?”

She only gave him a side glance and ignored his question, making the man confused.

“Focus!” Hange slammed their fist, now sitting on your side. “You have to tell me about it!”

“Oh gosh, please let me breath!” You rose your hands and they all moved their attention to you, making you feel a little overwhelmed and guilty — they were simply curious creatures. A deep sigh left your mouth as you put your palms back on the wooden surface of the table, opening your eyes slowly. “We kissed… and he left.”

“Without saying anything?” Jean asked and you nodded. “Damn… he ghosted you.”

“He might just be too busy?” Hange suggested and you gave them the harsh glare. “Maybe not?”

“Can anyone bring me—us some wings?” Sasha pleaded, leaning onto the table.

“You two need to talk” Hange added, bumping onto you jokingly. “Kiss and make up.”

“That’s not happening.”

“C’mon, he’s in the back. I’m sure he’ll be happy to see you.”

You just lowered your head and that was enough for them to understand.

“Well, I’ll leave you be” they just gave you a slight nod and stood from the booth. “Good luck.”

You felt some warmth crawl into your belly and smiled at them, following by another glance onto the other two in front of you.

“Mikasa is such an exotic name, where did it come from?” Jean leaned further, trying his best to sound smooth but the girl’s reaction was too bothered to be working.

“We’ll leave you be” Hange said as they grabbed Jean by the nape and dragged him back to the bar.

[…]

Sasha was on her third plate of hot wings when caught the first glance of Levi.

He came from the back for a moment to grab the electric kettle from under the counter, turning around quickly as if he already knew you were around and was avoiding any type of contact. Being treated like a disease like that made you feel angry, it wasn’t like you’d done anything wrong, you just kissed him back — he was the one to initiate it! The nerve of him.

You gulped down the rest of your beer and threw yourself back on the cushions of the booth, earning a look from Mikasa, but she decided to ignore it knowing you were procrastinating the inevitable, now focusing on Sasha who was unbuttoning her pants to eat more.

“Hey, you’re (y/n), right?” Someone approached your table, hands filling the pockets of their letterman jacket and blonde hair neatly sitting on top of his head. A thin goatee painted his chin and a gentle look sat around his clear eyes.

“Yea” you shook your head, looking at his face, frowning slightly. “Sorry, I—”

“It’s fine, we have Latin together” you now recognized him as the boy who sat in front of you and occasionally borrowed a pen.

“Oh! Reiner, right? You want some hot wings?” Sasha was not pleased you offered, but you just ignored her growl.

“No, I’m fine, just came to say ‘hi’” he gave you a small smile. “See you around.”

You reciprocated the smile and watched as he left, and your eyes collided with cold, grey ones across the room, behind the wooden counter as you felt your heart rush again, as if it was the first time once more. Levi had his muscular arms crossed as he stared right into your soul, making cold chills run all over your spine, holding your body to make it stop.

He turned around to leave and as if a lightning had just struck in you, your body involuntarily stood from its place and rushed to the counter, running around it and pushing the backdoor open, revealing an annoyed short man holding a cup of tea.

“What the f—”

And before he could even complete his thoughts, you grabbed the cup and placed it on the table right next to you, all that before pining him roughly against the wall, staring quickly into his eyes, searching for the same flame you could see inside you now burning around grey specs. A small smile grew on your lips and you kissed him hard.

He hesitated though, leaning back quickly as if something had snapped in his mind, making him realize what was really happening there. But before you could react again, he turned you around, pining your hands above your head as he kissed you feverously, the other hand feeling the skin of your hips from under your shirt, making the chills go harder around your bloodstream.

Levi moved positions once more, taking the back of your thighs and sitting you on top of the same table, making the teacup fall to the floor, but he seemed unbothered by it. His tongue now made advances on your mouth, playing with yours in soft movements even when his own lips made harsh movements, combining everything like sugar and cinnamon, and the pine scent of his cologne invaded your clothes that were now too hot for your needy skin.

His hands clenched around the fat of your legs, holding it as if his life depended on it and he started to lower his lips to your neck, giving it open-mouthed kisses that made a small moan fall from your throat. Ashamed, you didn’t realize that your grip on his shoulders was a little too hard and he put a hand from under your chin, holding your face as he stared deeply into your soul. A satisfied scoff fell from his own plump lips and he came back to what he was doing.

That was somewhat a dream, something you had fantasized about too many times to count, and now that it was happening, you refused to pinch yourself in fear of waking up alone. But when his slim fingers rose your skirt to your hips, things felt too real for it to be just your mind playing tricks. Small whimpers escaped your mouth as Levi decided to explore around your navel, playing softly with the hem of the lacy panties you were wearing, and you thanked whatever god was up there for not wearing those comfortable ones you almost wore tonight.

He removed your panties and lowered himself now, a small breath fanned over your naked parts, making you shiver slightly, only to be held still by his own hands. He gave you a small glance before you nodded in consent, and it was all it took for him to devour you in the most amazing ways you had never experienced before.

Levi had experience — you could tell — and the passion he exhaled was enough for you to moan without caring about anything in the world. His fingers joined his tongue and played with your entrance, teasing slowly as his mouth did wonders around your sensitive bud, movements going from harsh hands to slow kisses that left you whimpering, needing everything, anything more from him, legs hooping around his shoulders while trying to make him come closer to your heat.

You whimpered, moaned, cried under his spell, and everything felt 1000x more sensitive against his touch. His fingers entered you and played around all the right places, hitting every beat to the song that played muffled inside the bar, making a small giggle fall from you and he noticed it, now fastening his pace as if he wanted to go back to shutting you up with his own mouth.

Repeatedly he hit your most sensitive spot, licking, and tasting all he could as he did his best to make you cum. It didn’t take long for you to feel the heat pooling around your stomach, throwing your head backwards and fisting his hair between your fingers as you felt his rush against your orgasm, taking everything from you simply with his mouth. You moaned loudly as you rode his face quickly, hips moving without your consent and he pulled your lips apart to clean the remnants of your pleasure, not leaving one spot untouched.

Your chest heaved from the rush as your eyes made contact with grey seas that now leveled with your height, watching you under spells of lust while he sucked slowly from his fingers, tasting every last bit of you, like you were mead for his tastebuds, and you could swear you saw his lips curl a little upwards.

“You surely know how to make a mess” he noted, a ‘tch’ leaving his mouth.

TAGLIST

@zeickv @thirstyforsometea​ @nalu-trashytrash​ @umheyasf​​

[remsmoonlight]

— title : brownies n’ breaks

— word count : 2.2 k words

— pairing : daryl dixon x reader

— summary : cooking is your love language and it’s time that you are able to finally make something for Daryl, protected from the high walls that alexandria boasts of are you finally able to bring that vision to life

— warnings : absolutely nothing, except sickly sweet fluff

oooo another daryl request if you’re willing!!! maybe once they get to alexandria reader makes daryl some homemade brownies or some shit because she knows he’s never had much homemade food if any just some domestic cute shit??🥺🥺♥️

          ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　requested     　/    requests are open   *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Sweetness flows throughout the air of your new home, sliding into every corner it can find to fill and warm. The smell of domesticy is something you thought perished long ago when the world died, but here you stand.. with a fresh batch of brownies in the oven baking as if life rebooted and got set back to factory settings. You move from the oven, small steps to the door to be able to survey the kitchen area once more, blinking as if to erase it from your vision, to be greeted with the punishing sun and the dirt filled roads lined with ghosts.

A cozy yellow glow is snug in the pit of your stomach as you think about who the sweet bake belongs to, Daryl has been nothing less than golden. From Atlanta, all the way to Alexandria.. he has always been one to step up without even thinking. You’d shared many secluded moments together, talking about your pasts and while he has never explicitly said anything, you have created a picture in your head about what he has gone through. The love not shared healthily to someone who will always put his family first. Even prior to the downfall of society, you loved to cook for everyone you knew.

You settle yourself with a book on the window ledge close to the kitchen, awaiting the arrival of Daryl, a giddiness that could be likened to a snowfall of glitter falling gracefully within you.

“ you know, when we finally find a new home. I will make you the best brownies you’ve ever had! “

“ if y’don’t burn ‘em first. “ he replied, the corner of his eyes crinkle so delicately as he chuckles lowly.

“ don’t be so fucking mean! here I am trying to do something nice.. it won’t kill you! “ you argue humorously, your fist balling up to punch his arm with little force.

Laughter and carelessness had been a rarity after surviving Terminus, your focus on trying to find safety.. no matter how much of a dream it may be. The journey to coming to terms with the fading faces and memories of the prison has been a painful one, comfort was not something that could easily be found, yet you found it in the least conventionally affectionate person you knew.

“ if anythin’s gonna kill me, it ain’t gonna be your cooking. “

“ actually, I cook very well. it will be a good day when I finally get to show you. “

An airy smile brightens your features, the burdenless weight unable to keep your lips stuck together. Many memories you have with him are of the fond kind, of course, the course of your bond with him runs deep but never has it been a calm sea. There have been moments where you wonder if it’s one sided, if you are inventing a picture that you wish to bleed through to reality, then you are proven wrong and he does things that you know in your heart are true. It has taken losing friends, a home, finding new hope to strengthen that bond and while you would prefer to take the easy road, you know that nothing will ever split the two of you into shards of glass that will never be able to be repaired. You’re both strong people, but stronger together.

A figure clad in black and covered in grime makes their way up the flawless road to where you rest, your vision could be awful but you can make out his being anywhere. The book you hold is laid to rest, your feet already carrying yourself to the door to meet him. Days had past since you last saw him and you can now feel the chords of longing pulling as you had missed him.

Your hand encloses the door handle, swinging it open to finally land your gaze on his form, feeling as if it had been years you’d not done so, as opposed to a few days.

“ took you long enough. “

“ yeah, yeah. quit your complainin’.  “

You move aside, Daryl taking the cue from you and entering the house that bares no soul at that present moment. Everyone is out with their own agenda or job, leaving you to potter about to your own devices.

Some peace and privacy for even a few hours is something you are thankful for, two things that had been incredibly rare from your journey from Atlanta. Though, the noise that comes with your family reminds you of the moments you couldn’t wait to be rid from as you grew up are ones that you no longer fail to appreciate.

“ did you find anybody out there? “

Daryl shakes his head, you see the trouble that he wears often become even more apparent as it overwhelms his features intensely. Knowing Daryl as well as you do, you know that while he won’t admit it out loud, every time he goes out there with Aaron to find people and finds no one wounds his spirit more and more. While his desire to save everyone is admirable, it’s often a concern to you that it might be the straw that breaks the camel’s back and he’s often met with your comforting energy of it being simply an unsustainable trait.

“ you know you won’t always find people, right? “ you ask him softly, tucking your legs underneath you as you seat yourself on the sofa.

Daryl refuses to sit, it’s a thought that regularly finds itself bouncing around your mind as to why he can’t relax even behind the walls of Alexandria.

“ yea’, still sucks though. “ he wipes his thumb across his nose, an unconscious habit on his part, discussing his thoughts and feelings has never been easy, raised in a home full of toxicity stunted him emotionally, something he still wrestles with when the occasion arises.

“ there’s going to be a day where you’ve gone and saved everyone! there won’t be anyone left for you to bring back! cut yourself some slack. “

Daryl doesn’t respond, knowing there is truth in your words but he has seen so much death already, the world gripped by dark and dim choke hold, a little dusting of life is something that has been lacking since it died. Avoidance of feelings is something Daryl flees to when the conversation gets tough, he can deal with  words full of anger and rage, but topics so delicate still feel so alien to him.

“ wha’ y’been up to? “ the male questions you, seemingly interested in what you have been up to, watching you from the otherside of the room.

As if a switch had been flipped, your eyes ignite with excitement and joy as you have finally been able to fulfil your unofficial promise to him.

“ remember when we were talking about my cooking? when you insulted it? “ the sides of your lips gently lift with a soft innocence, you feel the elation slowly warming the entirety of your body at the simpleness of it all.

“ y’ain’t gone and poisoned sumn’ have ‘ya? “ asks Daryl, turning to face you from across the floor where he stood. His tone holds a ‘ blink and you will miss it ‘ humour threaded into his words.

“ I should have! “ laughing at him, you fit your fingers between his and lead him into the kitchen with you.

Touch is still something that sends an uncomfortable shiver to travel the distance down his spine, but with everything you have been through and all the time you have spent together, touch is something he’d never turn from when thinking of you. Your relationship has been a strange, never formal one, but it is perfect for the two of you. Unspoken words full of warmth and fondness are a solidity in each one’s souls, and while you both never shared the extent of what the two of you have with the group, they have their suspicions and theories. But if they know one thing, it’s Daryl’s affection for you runs deep.

“ brownies! “

He peaks into the oven that you have opened, the rich smell of cocoa and heat baking the treats hit him like a brick, a pit forms deep in his stomach. This is different from past meals beforehand. You had gone out of your way for him, of all people. Never could he mentally grip why you have been so kind and benevolent with him but it’s something he treasures deeply. In the beginning he was more abrasive with you more than anyone else, but it used to be his go to defense mechanism with everyone in your family. Softness never being something destined for him was beaten into him for a young age, learning only how to loathe and to only say words in anger. It wasn’t until you came along and took your time with him did he let you in, something you have been grateful ever since.. especially since you have been able to discover the colourful soul that resides within him.

“ y’didn’t have to. “ he replies, his mouth watering at the mere smell of the brownies that are close to being fully baked.

“ Daryl… “ a softness in your response that is only reserved for him is heavy, your eyebrows furrowing in dejection. You know enough of his history to be confident in your placed hurt for him being unable to experience kindness in a positive manner. Your hand trails up his clothed arm and rests on his shoulder lightly, allowing for him to decide whether or not to accept the physical affection. He doesn’t shrug it off, if anything he leans more into your touch. “ you know I’m doing this because I want to, you deserve something nice! “

“ thanks. “

“ and they’re nearly done, so you best take a seat. “

Daryl follows your order with little encouragement, a smirk that he conceals from your view and sits at the lengthy dinner table. He’s having trouble connecting the dots of the dead walking and civilisation ended and the pure normalcy of him sitting at a dinner table about to eat home cooked brownies. Even back when the world was bustling with life and people working their nine to fives were home cooked meals a rarity.

“ so this is what y’spent your day on? “ he asks as he watches you with a spark of fondness in his eyes as you work in the kitchen.

“ cooking is therapeutic. “

“ y’ a weird person. “ Daryl quips, staring at you right in your eyes. His expression gives nothing away, though his eyes speak a thousand words and paint a thousand colours that you understand fully.

It’s lucky you know him so well to understand when he’s being serious and when not.

“ but you like it! “

The squares of the baked treats are uneven and jagged, your features contorting into a confused frown at how they could so well until the end. You blame the knife for the imperfection and flaws of the appearance of what lays before you, however your heart knows it’s your inability to present your dishes artistically.

“ now I apologise they don’t look good but they do taste good! “

“ y’never have to say sorry for anythin’ “ he thoughtless says, his mind to preoccupied with the food laid before him.

A picture painted by his mind long ago had you as the perfect person, it’s comforting to know the flaws you have are nothing short of charming in your own little way. With the lack of elegance associated with him, his fingers dig into the irregular shape of the brownie and shoves half of it  into his mouth.

You watch him with your breath holding itself, never have you been a person who has wanted to impress but when it comes to Daryl? You find yourself wanting to do that and more.

“ well? “

He nods with his mouth full, unable to formulate his words. His jokes about your cooking being bad have been nothing more than that, jokes. But even as he’s consuming the small squares he’s surprised at how good they taste, better than he could even imagine.

“ ain’t half bad. “

“ in Daryl speak that means they’re pretty damn great, huh? “ you question him rhetorically, amusement dancing on each word you speak as you gaze steadily on his form.

“ well y’didn’t burn the house down. “

Your mouth opens and eyes widen considerably as your expression twists from being filled to the brim of affection to one of shock, aghast at his jovial words. The laughter tumbles carelessly from your lips as you reach across to swat his arm playfully.

“ you are so rude! “

He joins in with your laughter, a sight so infrequent that you wish you could burn the image into your mind with no chance of being erased by time. It’s moments like these, where you truly feel like the only two people in the world, stolen moments you hold close to your heart. You hope that you will reach a space where you both will be able to freely express your feelings, while the mutual affection is known between the both of you, sometimes you want to use words. So he knows, because it’s something he deserves. To know how much he is loved, without cowering away from the subject.

“ nah I’m just kiddin’. thanks, I mean it. “

[wellthatjusthappend]

Given that you are taking Jason Todd requests, may I ask for Omega!Jason being aggressively maternal- maybe the Lazarus Pit caused his instincts to go haywire, and he (delusionally or subconsciously) considers other pups his, and might sometimes end up going extremely broody, possibly to the point of disassociation, later coming to his senses to discover that he’s now the proud mother of five very confused children (or maybe people note that he’s even more baby-crazy than Omega!Bruce?)

We’ll start with one baby since I don’t know what other ones would be around the league at the height of his pit-madness lol. 

April 27th Requests. 

--

Talia had hoped that the Pit would help restore Jason’s mind. Perhaps that was folly, considering it’s penchant for madness. 

But at least it seemed there was someone home now at the very least. Even if that someone seemed to be in agony. 

Once Talia had ordered her guards to withdraw so that Jason would no longer growl and try to tear them apart, he began to thrash and growl and claw at himself. Talia had to carefully guard her heart against the ache of watching the pup she’d cared for in such obvious distress, and instead watched him with a critical eye. 

“He keeps clawing at his neck, see if you can determine why?” she instructed a few of her guards. 

Wearily, they went, but Jason didn’t let them get close, immediately lashing out at anyone who came close to his corner of the room. Now that there weren’t so many bodies in the way, Talia could see that it seemed to be a particular area he had decided to guard and that he did not attack so long as no one got too close to that space. 

She had some pride in that even pit mad, her pet still did decent damage to her most elite. His skill remained intact at least. 

“His scent glands seem to be extremely swollen,” the guards reported as they limped back to her, “it is likely that he is heating, but none of us could get close enough to ascertain for sure.”

An interesting possibility, and one that she had not considered. She knew of course that Jason was an Omega, but she had not given it much thought as to how that would be effected by the Pit. Thus far, his heats had been the mild fevers and sweet smells of a pubescent child. The Pit had ‘restored’- or rather accelerated in Jason’s case- him to his prime, which meant that this heat was that of an adult… possibly enhanced in every way possible at the moment, with the green waters still clinging to his curls. 

Which brought an interesting theory.

“Bring me Damian,” she instructed one of her attendants. 

“My Lady?” they hesitated, glancing between her and the growling Omega below. 

Talia narrowed her eyes.

“Are you questioning me? I would not put the Al Ghul heir at risk. If you all doubt your ability to protect us from one disoriented Omega, perhaps I should get rid of you in favor of more competent warriors,” she said sharply. 

“Of course, My Lady,” they hurriedly bowed, “we’ll get him.”

Damian’s reaction to all the stressed smells and growling was predictable and perfect:

He began to wail at full volume. 

Jason immediately perked up at the sound, letting out a whimper of his own, his aggressive stance leaving for something more imploring. 

“Hello, Jason,” Talia said, taking Damian and heading down the stairs, “I see you remember Damian.”

Jason’s eyes wildly darted from her to the baby in her arms and back again. His shoulders tensed like he wasn’t sure about an Alpha getting so close to him, but… Damian hollard again and his gaze stayed locked on him. 

Talia's smile widened as Jason began letting out the sweetest of coos. 

Damian whimpered uncertainly, looking up at her first before hesitantly reaching out for the Omega that used to rock him to sleep. 

As he should. 

Talia sat down and nodded to her people to keep guard from a distance. 

“Come now, Jason,” she called, “you need to come out of your territory and into mine if you’d like to see Damian. You’d like that wouldn’t you?”

Jason nodded, his eyes locked on Damian. 

“Then come,” she commanded. 

Hesitantly, Jason too one step, then another out of his littler territory. Each one a little more sure than the last until he was close enough to scent. 

Damian stopped crying to sniffle curiously at the change in his Omega’s scent. 

Jason cooed so so sweetly, and lifted out his hands for the baby.

“You will be gentle?” Talia confirmed, though really she had no doubt. Not as controlled by instinct as Jason was at the moment. 

Still, she was pleased to see him solemnly nod. 

“Here then, let’s see if you can sooth Damian,” she said, passing the child over, bringing herself just as close when she did so. 

Jason didn’t seem to care, utterly enamored. He cooed and trilled oh so perfectly and Damian settled quickly, seeming satisfied that although his Omega’s voice was lower and his scent stronger, it was still the same person that helped care for him every day. 

“There, that’s much better,” she praised both of them, placing a hand on Jason’s shoulder. 

Jason looked up at her, and for the first time since he came into her care, there was actual awareness in his eyes. 

“You remember me now, don’t you, little one?” she asked, caressing Jason’s cheek as he looked at her so utterly lost. 

“Talia…”

“That’s right. Your mind is your own once more,” she said triumphantly. 

“I… feel so strange…” Jason whimpered, burying his face in Damian’s soft silky hair.

“I shall help you with that in whatever ways you require,” Talia soothed him, “but for now, come with me. We want Damian to be somewhere much more comfortable, don’t we?”

Jason nodded mutely.

“Come, little one,” she urged, rising to her feet and guiding Jason with her. 

Standing, she could see that the shirt on his chest had become soaked in telling places, which was another unexpected effect. Then again, he was overdosed on his own hormones and she had brought him a baby. To his confused instincts, it was likely the most natural response. 

Talia smiled to herself at the thought of Jason becoming even more bonded and loyal to her son. 

“Let us get you two comfortable.”

[plus-size-reader]

Long Time Coming

Daenerys Targaryen x Plus size!reader

Word Count: 1570 words

Warnings: none

Summary: Dany is in love with Viserys' bride, and once he's gone they become very close, and she admits just how much she cares for reader 

——————————————————————————————————

Daenerys didn’t have very many people in her life that she cared for. Aside from her brother, she had no real family to speak of. Even allies were in short supply where she was, so far away from her father’s kingdom.

Though, when she stopped to think about it, you had always been there.

For as long as she could remember, you had been in her life with the intended purpose of marrying her brother when you came of age. That was your only purpose as far as anyone was concerned, but not Dany.

You just didn’t bond with the man as much as you did his younger sister, but not for a lack of trying. You wanted desperately for your future husband to appreciate you and come to respect you as you did him.

...But there was just no getting away from the truth.

In every way that Viserys was cruel and unfeeling, his sister was kind and gentle. Dany always had time for you and very clearly cared for you in a way that no one else did. Where Viserys wouldn't even look your way, the young girl provided companionship and a friend.

It was just impossible to ignore the difference, and as you got older, it was only more obvious.

Whenever you two were together, you found yourself hanging on her every word and getting closer and closer as the time went on. You cared for her, and you knew she felt the same. It was all in the way her eyes sparkled when you were together.

Not that you could even consider doing anything about it. Your duty was to your husband, the rightful king of the seven kingdoms, and nothing else could be more important than that.

Not even your truest friend.

So, you forced yourself to ignore the obvious feelings you had for the young woman and focused more and more on being the doting wife a future king deserved.

Even when Viserys was cruel to you, shouting things that you wouldn't have expected from your worst enemy, and striking you for the fun of it, you kept to yourself. As far as you were concerned, this was just the sort of life you were meant to have.

It was your duty as his wife, even if the very sight of the spiteful man made your skin crawl.

Now, it was no secret that Viserys wasn’t the sort of husband that he should have been. He was selfish and treated you more like a handmade than a bride, but there was little anyone could do.

The dragon was someone that you had been raised to fear, as well as respect and even as an adult, you found it hard to argue against him. Viserys was rude and aggressive, and he always had been.

You had little hope that it would change, no matter what you did.

There was nothing you could do, given the little power and status you had against him, so you simply allowed the man you’d married to live life his way. It couldn't matter how many people it hurt or how many times you went to bed with tears in your eyes.

It was the life you had always been meant to live.

You had given up on hope of that changing a long time ago, and as far as you were concerned, it was always going to be that way.

Until, of course, all your lives changed entirely.

Viserys assumed that marrying Daenerys off to the great Khal Drogo meant that he would be rid of her forever and would get an army to boot but it was clear to you that wasn’t going to be the case.

The blonde had been controlling both you and his younger sister through violence and fear for years, but his harsh threats and pouty nature were no match for the great Khal. You could see that much from the moment you set eyes on the large man.

That theory only strengthened as Dany began to bond with the Khal and gained his favor. There was the power, a power she found within herself that she couldn’t have possibly had before him. It proved everything to you that you’d always known.

It proved that she was a leader, and stronger than she had ever been given credit for in all her life.

Those were all things you knew but had never seen.

...But that wasn't all.

Through that newfound power, Dany came to terms with the things she’d had to experience at the hands of her brother. All those years of torment and abuse, so many things he’d done to her, and she had never been able to make it right before.

Now though, the Khaleesi of a large Khalasar with one of the most revered and ruthless men at her beck and call, it was only a matter of time before she finally got back at her brother. In that same way though, it was only a matter of time before Viserys realized that same thing.

You watched him for days, growing more and more restless at the idea of no longer being in control, and losing any chance at the throne he'd been holding onto for years in his mind.

It seemed only a matter of time before he snapped.

Within a few days, much longer than you'd assumed, Viserys found himself threatened by her to the point where something had to be done. That came in the form of threatening both her life and the life of her unborn baby.

There was only one way that could end.

Standing there, in that dank, dark hut, you watched as two large men held Viserys down, his arms snapping beneath their calloused hands. You knew that they were going to kill him, but you felt nothing at the thought.

Perhaps it was the fact he'd threatened the one you truly loved, or maybe it was just about years of abuse at his hand that you'd suffered. In any case, when his head hit the ground, hardened now in molten gold, you didn’t mourn as you thought you would.

You didn’t even bother to look away as you stared down at him.

Perhaps it should have affected you more, especially after all the time you spent by his side, but you didn’t see that boy you’d been betrothed too in those lifeless eyes. In fact, that boy had been gone for a very long time.

In many ways, you didn't even recognize who he'd become, and you were sure that Daenerys felt the same way as she too stared with eyes cold.

In any case, you remained under the protection of the Dothraki and their wonderful Khaleesi, even when your husband was dead. Dany simply told you that you were her family, with or without Viserys.

...And that was as far as it went, for a long time.

It wasn't until one night, sitting by the fire, after everyone else had turned in for bed that the relationship you two shared finally changed.

Daenerys had recently lost the great Khal after a seemingly harmless wound festered beyond repair. That left her in a very emotionally raw place, having lost the man she cared so deeply for, and the only person she'd speak to was you.

Perhaps it wasn't ideal, all things considered, but you were her oldest friend and as Dany mourned, you sat by her side, holding her hand tightly in your own.

"How did you feel when Viserys died?"

The words left her lips heavily after what seemed like an eternity in silence. It was a fair question, seeing as she'd lost her husband recently after you'd lost your own but it didn't seem like a fair comparison.

It was clear that Drogo loved Dany, and she him while the relationship you and Viserys shared was closer to mutual contempt than anything else. The slight grief you shared at seeing the life leave his eyes would be nothing to her current morning.

Still, you answered her question.

"I felt very little, as horrible as that is. Perhaps I was relieved that he couldn't hurt you anymore, if anything" you shrugged, slightly fearing that she would think you cruel for such a response. Terrible or not, Viserys was her brother.

Though, you should have known better.

For every horrible, vile thing Viserys did and said toward you, Dany experienced tenfold. She knew what kind of monster he was. In fact, she often felt the same way you did, through the vein that he could no longer lay his hands on you.

"I thought about it a thousand times before, what it would be like to just take you and escape somewhere far away from him" she allowed, her voice little more than a whisper at that.

You were both painfully aware of the feelings you shared for one another, but that was the first time either of you had taken that jump and said it out loud. It felt wrong, especially seeing as she was in mourning but perhaps this was what she needed...finally.

Maybe she just needed to understand just how much you cared for her as well.

"Perhaps we could go now, far far away from here" you replied, your grip tightening on her hand without even meaning to, but you continued, ignoring the nerves you felt. "Across the water, to Dorne, or Essos"

You both knew that you couldn't, not for a good long while yet, though maybe the dream would be enough to keep you both going until you could.

[mc-critical]

It's like I have been spamming your page with asks so much lately, sorry 😁 My ask to you is about Hatice and her niece and nephews. Do you think she would be really satisfied with the idea of their death, If Mustafa comes to throne? In episode 92, when she was talking to Şah, she was stating if something happens to Suleiman, both Hurrem and her kids would have to die. And her expressions seems, very satisfied since her willing attempts to revenge both Suleiman and Hurrem. It made me sad to hear her say that, since we always saw her really love them, especially Mihrimah. And in episode 101, she was rolling her eyes with annoyance after Mehmet came to her palace to visit Mustafa. So in general, with the hatred of Suleiman and Hurrem, would she be really that satisfied and happy to their end?

Oh, don't worry about it! :)

Even though Hatice truly had a very intense hatred for Hürrem at this point, I don't think she'll be satisfied with the deaths of her children.

Hatice's changing perspective on Hürrem and Süleiman is showed in a very slow and datailed way, to the point of going to justified extremes with her fragile state of mind. I would see why one would think a part from Hatice's hatred for Hürrem has gone to the newfews in a moment in theory, knowing how Hatice's later opinion on Süleiman stems from how he changed also thanks to Hürrem, as she hinted at in their last confrontation.

But once again, this is all the pay-off to a build-up and we were witnesses of these changing perspectives and the way they changed Hatice as a person, too. Aside from the two scenes you mentioned, we don't really have that with the nephews. Hatice's perspective of them doesn't seem to have openly changed. She still loved them, she went to Mehmet's oath ceremony in E69, she adviced Firuze to win Mihrimah over, and even later, in S03B, she told Mihrimah in E87 that she loved her a lot, in spite of her strained relationship with her mother. She and Mihrimah have had conflicts, sure, but going as far as to want the death of one another?

Now, given that her strained relationship with Hürrem was getting stronger and stronger, she may have still gotten a little different view on the nephews, since these expressions in the scenes you mentioned weren't all that meaningless. I did talk about how Hatice's means of getting rid of Hürrem changed throughout these few moments of S02 and the whole of S03, and the scene in E92 could be a part of that. Mustafa getting on the throne would mean Hürrem's end and that's what Hatice wanted most of all then. And Mustafa being on the throne would normally call for the Fatih law and she probably said this part out of ignorance, as a known fact, not out of malice for the newfews. This hint of satisfaction could be solely because she would finally avenge Ibrahim and the dynasty and the family would have piece again, not because the nephews would be killed. Hatice opted for personal revenge, not for some massive bloodshed and when the time for action came, I doubt she would ever allow for the children to be killed. She would bring them into another castle, at the very least.

The context of these two scenes also reveal another important aspect of Hatice's characterization: both of these scenes are reactive, a response to the action of someone else. In E92, Hatice knew that Rüstem was with Mustafa when he was sent to execute the man that seemingly disobeyed SS's orders. Both Şah and her believed they put a trap on Mustafa early on and even though he came to the capital with proof that he made the right decision, Hatice still counted it as a scheming attempt. Hatice doesn't want her loved ones to be threatened like that and such an attempt would make her embittered towards those behind it all the more, hence this proclaiming of Hürrem's fate and that of her children. Besides, she was putting Hürrem's actions into context, because she knew that Mustafa got away from trouble this time, but Hürrem would try again. In the scene in E101, I always saw her rolling her eyes during Mehmet's arrival as a "really??! what is he doing here?" look. Before he arrived, Hatice was going through yet another breaking point: she took Mehmet going to Manisa decision as a wrong one that would cause only misery and despair to both Mustafa and the family (and we see it hurt Mehmet, too, because he didn't want to go to his brother's sanjack): to her, all hope was being lost and catastrophe would follow. (also a build-up to Hürrem's abduction, Hatice would finally act with nobody no longer holding her back.) And then, all of the sudden, Mehmet, a part of what is currently happening, appears on the horizon. She maybe thought of this as a bad time. Besides, when Mehmet told them he wanted to see Mustafa, all of them stood silent. Perhaps Hatice also didn't want for Mehmet to go console him now, because of his indirect part in Mustafa's despair and she doesn't want her loved ones to be hurt and she usually does object at least through an expression when that is about to happen. That's something that has stayed in her character, even (and especially) here. Maybe she didn't want to see him right now, maybe she was resenting him a bit in that moment, but I don't think she would ever be happy with his death or any of the nephews' deaths.

[sfb123]

Sapere Aude - Part 8A

Book: The Royal Heir

Pairing: King Liam Rys x Queen Riley Brooks

All characters belong to Pixelberry.

Catch Up Here

Series Description: I developed a theory of what I think will happen in TRH Book 4, and I was encouraged by some very lovely people to turn my theory into a fic, so here it is. Basically, Riley is recruited to join the Via Imperii, this series will follow her as she joins them to try and bring them down from the inside, and all of the drama and bombshells she learns along the way. Sapere Aude is Latin for “dare to know” it seemed like an appropriate title.

Rating: M -MATURE 

Warning: Adult language, smut (🍋🍋🍋) and other adult themes.

Word Count: 4,049

Notes: I know I’ve sucked at updating and posting. I hit kind of a personal slump in my writing, there was a lot of self-loathing involved. I really struggled with writing chapter 9, and I eventually had a revelation that it was likely because I wasn’t done exploring everything that happened in chapter 8, so I’ve made a sub chapter. We follow Liam when after he leaves their quarters and get into his thought process in dealing with the bombshell that was dropped on him.

And yes, you read that rating right, my lemon tree has had its first bloom. I really stressed myself out over this, so I hope it’s worth the time I spent trying to convince myself that I was doing a good job, not to mention the time my friends had to spend (see below) to boost my ego.

Thank you so so much to @txemrn for reading a couple of snippets for me and being the cheerleader I needed when I was feeling really down on myself and my work...even though I was supposed to be the one giving YOU a peptalk!

And a super special thank you to my fairy smutmother @jessiembruno. You listened to me complain, and doubt myself, and a million other things multiple times a day while I was trying to find my way, and you never once came off as annoyed or frustrated. I am so lucky to be able to call you a friend.

Finally, thank you so much @twinkleallnight​ for my UPDATED moodboard! She took it upon herself to update it to better reflect the feel of the story, and she did a kick ass job!

Tags: I’m officially rocking my new tag list. Everyone is listed below as well as in the comments for safety. If you’d like to be added or removed, let me know! 

“Liam, where are you going?”

“I need to take a walk. Gather my thoughts.”

“Do you want me to come with you?”

“No, I need to be alone right now. You stay here, I’ll be back shortly.”

Before she could stop him, Liam was out the door. He knew she just wanted to be there for him, but he needed to be alone. The royal quarters, his home, his sanctuary, suddenly felt so small. He was suffocating there, he needed to get away, to breathe.

“Your majesty?” Bastien stopped him. 

“I’m fine, Bastien, just going for a walk. Please stand down.” Liam tried to keep his tone and expression neutral, but it was obvious to Bastien that something was wrong. He bowed to the King, following orders and remaining at his post. 

Liam continued walking through the palace, unsure where he was going, he just needed to get out. He found himself walking through the gardens, approaching the maze. One of his mother’s last projects before her passing...or rather, before she abandoned him. It was always a special place for Liam. Growing up, he would often go there to hide out when he was feeling lonely, or missing his mother more than usual. It was one of his favorite spots on the grounds, possibly in the world. How would he ever be able to look at this space the same again? It would serve as a constant reminder of the insurmountable betrayal he had faced at the hands of the woman that gave him life. 

As he walked the familiar path through the maze, he considered his options. Perhaps he would burn it to the ground, and salt the earth to prevent any attempts at regrowth. Would that make him feel better? Would it take away the pain? 

Likely not, but it would feel good to know that I took something away from her that she cherished so dearly. A metaphor for what she has done to me. My memories of her, her kindness, her generosity, they mean nothing anymore. Because, to her, I meant nothing. I couldn’t have. If I did, she wouldn’t have left. 

He continued his journey, getting lost in his thoughts. He would look back at his childhood memories, trying to remember something, anything, that could ease this moment for him. Nothing came. His mind then wandered to the relationship he could have had with Thomas, his brother. He had another brother this whole time. All those times when Leo had run off to god knows where, he wouldn’t have had to be quite as alone as he was. Sure, he had Drake to keep him company, but Drake wasn’t a prince. He didn’t have the same expectations, the same limitations, that Liam faced. He could have had someone else by his side that understood all of it. 

How was he supposed to feel about Thomas now that he knew the truth? His first instinct was anger, but he quickly rejected that. It wasn’t his fault that they were kept apart their whole lives. He was suddenly very curious about Thomas’s life.

What was his childhood like? How did he feel when he learned that he was also royalty? Has he ever wanted to say anything to me, to come forward? Would I have believed him if he had?

Even though he wasn’t supposed to know any of this, he hoped that things would get to a point where he could talk to Thomas, and ask those questions. Ideally in a casual setting over drinks, and not an interrogation cell. 

Liam soon found himself in the center of the maze. As he took in his surroundings, his mind kept racing back to his childhood. The picnics with his mother, the games of maze tag with Drake. 

I wonder if Thomas would have liked to play maze tag with us, had he been around. 

He felt a sudden calming come over him at one point. When he took a look around, he realized that he was standing in the exact spot where he and Riley had landed when he inadvertently tackled her the night of the masquerade ball. The night he learned she had traveled halfway around the world just for a chance to be with him, because she felt what he was feeling after just a few hours together one night in New York. Even now, all these years later, he still felt the same butterflies in his stomach thinking of that moment. 

Wistfully, he walked a bit further, to the spot where they stood the night of his coronation, where he had finally managed to say those three words he had been feeling since the moment his eyes met hers. He smiled as he replayed the memory of her saying it back to him. He was fairly certain at the time that she felt the same way, but to hear those words fall from her beautiful lips, he had never felt a high quite like that in his life. His mind then wandered to the events that those words led to, another moment he had long dreamed of. Physically expressing the love they had just declared. He felt his heart start to race thinking of their first time together. All of the sudden, anger quickly replaced all other emotions, as he remembered that there was a tape of that moment. A tape that was recorded, and held, by her group. He quickly searched the area, digging his arms through the hedges, looking for anywhere a camera might be hidden. He came up empty. Given how long it had been since the recording, it made sense that they had likely removed their surveillance from the area. 

Another reason to be rid of this maze once and for all. Another reminder of the deceit. Only this time it’s worse, they brought Riley into it. 

Liam needed to move on from the center of the maze, so he continued walking, finally coming across the wishing well. The wishing well his mother had told him about when he was a child. 

Can you take back wishes? I wished so many times that my mother would come back to me, for her death to have been a misunderstanding. Well Liam, you got your wish, now look at you. How many other wishes have I made that will come back around to bite me in the ass? 

His mind began to wander again. This time, to the night of the Homecoming Ball. The night Riley was officially presented as the Duchess of Valtora, and more importantly, his fiance. They both made wishes that night, he remembered his wish: to never let fear dictate his choices, the way his father did. 

He let fear dictate his choices because of the loss of his wife. Had he known what truly happened, things would have been different. Perhaps he wouldn’t have interfered with my choice during the social season. I could have been with Riley all along. The way things were always supposed to be. I know we ended up together, and the struggles made our bond that much stronger, but there was a very real chance that I could have lost her forever, I almost did, over his choice.

Thinking of Riley reminded him of her reassurances that night, she was so confident in his ability to be a good King. She believed in him from day one, and never faltered in that. Even when he didn’t believe in himself, thinking of Riley, and her faith in him gave him the strength to continue on. To be the best man, and King he could be. To make his Queen proud. 

In that moment, Liam had an epiphany. This maze was so much more than his childhood and memories of a mother that betrayed him. This maze was about the love he and Riley shared. It had played a paramount role in their story. When he looked around, he saw memories of them, their stolen moments, their heartfelt confessions. He couldn’t get rid of this maze, if he did, he would be destroying a piece of his heart. 

From this moment forward, this maze is not about her, not about the lies that she raised me on. It is about the love and support I have shared with my soulmate. This is where our love, much like the flowers that adorn these hedges, blossomed. 

Riley...my heart, my world, my Queen. She gave up her life, her freedom, to be with me. She left her family and friends, her job, everything, for me. She has dedicated her life to my country, she has taken on my responsibilities. What have I done in return? I’ve put her in this impossible position. I’ve put her in harm's way, yet again, for the good of Cordonia. A country had never even heard of before I came in and turned her life upside down. 

He needed to get back to her. Walking back toward the palace, he started considering how she might be feeling in that moment. He had been so caught up in his own mind, that he didn’t stop to think what all of this was doing to her. She had to deliver devastating news to the man she loved, and his reaction was to abandon her. His heart sank as he approached their quarters, he felt so small. He entered their bedroom, overwhelmed with shame for the way he had left her. 

Of course she’s still awake. She probably stayed up worrying about me. I was so selfish to just leave her like that.

He kept his head down, too ashamed to look her in the eye, and walked straight into his closet to get ready for bed. His mind working overtime, trying to find the right words, but nothing came. He exited the closet and walked toward the bed, hoping something would come to him. 

Finally, Riley broke the silence in the room. 

“Liam…” She said barely above a whisper, he turned his head and looked at her for the first time since arriving home. “I’m sorry.” She placed her hand gently over his. 

She thinks I’m mad at her. She’s blaming herself. How does she not understand that she is the only thing keeping me from going off the edge? I’m the one that dragged her through all of this, and she’s apologizing to me. I don’t deserve her love. 

He was overwhelmed with anger at himself, and heartbreak for his wife. “Riley, you have nothing to apologize for. I am the one that wanted you to do this. You did nothing wrong. None of this is on you.” He tried to smile, but he knew it was unconvincing. He could feel the sting of tears beginning to well up in his eyes. 

“Fine, but you’re not allowed to blame yourself either.” 

Even to this day, after all of these years, it astonishes me how she can see right through me like that. I’ve had years of training to hide my thoughts and emotions, that training proved useless when it comes to Riley.  

“What you just said, telling me you were the one that wanted me to do this. I know you Liam Rys, better than anyone. You’re thinking about how you brought all of this on yourself.” 

It’s the truth. None of this would have happened if I hadn’t talked you into joining. 

For the second time that night, Liam couldn’t bear to look his wife in the eyes. She was right, but so was he. Liam felt the firm, yet loving touch of Riley’s hand holding his chin and lifting his gaze to meet hers. There was a fire in her eyes, unlike any he had seen from her before. 

“This is all on them, it’s the Via Imperii’s fault. That’s why we’re going to take them down. Together. Just like Anton, just like Auvernal, just like Barthelemy, just like any other enemy that has ever, or will ever come our way. We are the King and Queen of Cordonia, Liam and Riley Rys. We are a force to be reckoned with.” 

Liam was taken aback by the determination in her statement. He knew she was strong, she had been his rock since the day they met, but this was so much more than that. He didn’t know it was possible, but he felt his love for her grow. 

Awestruck, he took the hand she had planted on his chin in his, and brought it to his lips, kissing it softly. “You always know just what to say, love.”

“Years of diplomatic training. I need to be prepared for every possible scenario.” She winked at him.

He couldn’t help but chuckle at the comment. She made it seem so easy to turn his mood around. It was something he would never understand, but always be grateful for. 

God, I love this woman. 

Riley smiled and leaned into him. “C’mon, let’s try to get some sleep. We can circle back to this nightmare in the morning, start working on a plan.” They both laid back onto the bed, and into each others arms. 

In the middle of the night, Liam’s eyes shot open, his heart pounding in his chest, worry overcoming him. He needed a moment to get his bearings, turning to his left to make sure she was still there. She was.

He had been dreaming, a nightmare, technically. Riley was gone, he wasn’t sure where she had gone or why. All he knew was he felt empty, broken, more so than he ever had before. He watched Riley as she slept, a single tear rolling down his cheek. He thought back to his family, the people that were supposed to be there and care for him above all else. 

His mother, who had lied to him from the second he was brought into this world. She was his benchmark for love and support, but it was all fake. Because of her, he lived his life based on false ideals. Then he met Riley, she showed him what love and support truly was. 

Leo, he was a great brother growing up. He made sure Liam got to have fun, and took the heat when it would get out of hand. However as he got older, his priorities changed, and he was around less and less. When he finally abdicated the throne, he placed the weight of the world on Liam’s shoulders. The bright side to that, was that becoming the Crown Prince, and having a social season, brought Riley into his life. She helped him believe that he truly could carry the weight that was thrust upon him. 

His father, a King above all else. As hard as Liam tried to break through that wall, it was duty and his country above all else. That never mattered to Liam though, he still looked up to his father and held him to such a high standard. Until it was uncovered that he attempted to destroy his son’s one chance at true happiness. Despite his attempts at ruining her name, and putting her in harm’s way, Riley stayed and fought. She fought for herself, and she fought for their love. She forgave him for his actions, something Liam was never fully able to do. And when Liam mourned his loss, she was there by his side, holding his hand. 

Riley, his bright spot in all of the darkness. His constant source of goodness and joy. In all of that pain, Riley was there. Who would be there if she left him? He would have nothing, he would be nothing. He felt a tightness in his chest at the thought of losing her. He reached his hand out and gently stroked her arm, needing to touch her. 

He saw her eyes slowly start to flutter open. 

She’s cute when she’s tired. 

He watched as she lifted her hand and ran her fingers through his hair. He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. 

“Hey, are you ok?”

He unsuccessfully tried to swallow away the lump in his throat before answering. “Please don’t leave me, Riley.”

Liam watched as she sat up in bed, a confused look on her face. “Liam, never. I love you, you’re stuck with me for life.

He knew she meant it, but he also knew these things weren’t always under their control. “I just…there have been so many people that said they cared about me, and then left. Losing them was so hard. But if I lost you Riley, I don’t know how I would be able to continue on. You are the most important part of me, my everything. I don’t exist without you.”

A sadness overtook Riley’s face, Liam felt horrible for making her feel that way. He looked down before feeling her hands on either side of his face, her thumbs softly stroking his cheeks. “Liam, I promise you with all my heart, and everything I am, that there is nothing on this earth that could take me away from you. My husband and my daughter are the greatest joys of my life. A world without the two of you is not a world I would ever even want to think about.”

In that moment, all Liam could think about was being as close to her as he possibly could. He desperately needed to feel her body tangled with his. He surged forward and kissed her with everything he had. It was a kiss loaded with love, longing, and need. He lowered Riley from her seated position and rolled on top of her. 

“Show me.” He whispered. 

“Yes, my king.”

He shuddered at her words. Pinning her hands above her head, he slowly rolled his hips into her so that she could feel just how desperate he was for his wife. Riley closed her eyes and moaned at the sensation. 

Liam’s mouth moved to her ear, nipping at the lobe before saying in a commanding, yet tender tone, “Open your eyes Riley, I want you to see everything I am going to do to you.”

Riley’s eyes opened as she met Liam’s hungry gaze. “Yes, my king.”

“Good girl.” He kissed her deeply, removing one hand from hers and slowly moving it down her body, traveling the familiar curves that drove him crazy time and time again. 

Liam’s lips moved away from hers, treading across her jawline and down her neck. Riley hissed at the feeling of his teeth running along her tender skin. “Liam, calm down. You’re going to leave marks.”

“Good, they will serve as a reminder that you belong here, with me.”

Riley freed her wrists from Liam’s grasp and brought his face to hers. “Liam, I don’t need a reminder, I’m right here and I’m not going anywhere.” 

He silenced her with a searing kiss. One hand traced the curve of her breast as the other traveled downward, rubbing her center through her panties. “You’re so wet for me already, love.”

All Riley could do was groan in response. She felt his lips return to her neck, as his hands traveled to the hem of her tank top, he gently lifted the shirt over her head and deposited it on the floor. His mouth continued its descent, kissing her shoulder and quickly moving to her breast, taking the nipple into his mouth, slowly circling it with his tongue. He kissed across her chest, paying the same attention to the other breast. 

The quiet moans and whimpers coming from his wife were the encouragement Liam needed to continue moving south, kissing down her torso until he was met with the waistband of her panties. He paused and looked up at her. 

“Liam, please.” She whispered, desperate for him to remove the lacy barrier. 

He gave her a wolfish grin before taking them between his teeth and quickly dragging them down her legs. Once they were removed, he lifted her foot and softly kissed the inside of her ankle, his lips moved at a painfully slow speed, resting her leg over his shoulder as he moved closer to her wanting center. 

As soon as Riley felt Liam’s breath on her glistening core, her own breath hitched. Liam heard it, and it satisfied him to know that in that moment she needed him just as much as he needed her. He tantalizingly licked up the length of her slit until he reached her sensitive nub. 

She gasped as he began sucking and licking, his tongue moving in calculated circles. He knew her body inside and out, he knew just what to do to her to get the reaction he wanted. 

Riley’s hands quickly found their way to Liam, running her fingers through his hair and gripping tightly guiding him exactly where she needed him. The pressure caused Liam to moan into her, Riley felt the vibration against her body and trembled. 

Sensing that she was close to her release, he slowly slid one finger inside of her, and curled it slightly. She bucked her hips and moaned Liam’s name, that was all the invitation he needed to add a second finger. 

“Yes Liam, don’t stop.”

He looked up at her with an unmistakable mix of lust and adoration. “Never, Riley.” Before continuing his efforts, causing Riley to plummet over the edge, loudly moaning his name. He worked through her release, savoring every second of her ecstasy. 

As she started to come down from her release, Liam kissed a path up her stomach, positioning himself on top of her. Once they were face to face he kissed her deeply. 

Their tongues intertwined, and Riley’s hands drifted to the front of Liam’s pajama pants, palming his hardness through the fabric eliciting a deep groan from him. Riley smiled into the kiss, moving her hand into his pants, wrapping it around his length and pumping slowly. 

“Mmm...are you ready to take all of me, love?” He asked as he thrust into her hand. 

Riley nipped at his bottom lip before responding. “Yes Liam, I need you.”

He quickly removed his pants, lining himself up with her entrance. Pressing his forehead to hers, and looking deep into her eyes, he eased himself into her carefully, desperate to feel every inch of her. He paused for a moment, allowing her to adjust before slowly rocking his hips against her. 

As they moved together, Liam began sucking and nibbling on Riley’s earlobe. Riley whimpered in response, her hands running up and down his muscular back. She wrapped her legs around him and dug her heels into him, urging him to move faster. He complied, and almost immediately, he felt her walls starting to clench around him. 

“That’s it Riley. Cum for me, love.” He locked eyes with her again, bringing one hand to her cheek to ensure she held his gaze through her release. 

Riley’s back arched as she lost control, the muscles in her body tensed, and she screamed out in pleasure. “Oh god Liam, yes!”

Watching and feeling Riley come undone was all Liam needed to push him over the edge. He thrust into her one last time with a guttural groan as he filled her with his seed. 

They laid still for several moments, Liam resting his face in the crook of Riley’s neck, breathing in her scent as his breathing slowly began to return to normal. He then removed himself from her and laid on his back, pulling Riley to his side. She rested her head on his chest, and he responded by planting a gentle kiss on the crown of her head. 

“Are you feeling better?” She tilted her head up to look at him. 

He stroked her cheek and smiled softly at her. “Much. Thank you Riley.” Their lips met in a brief kiss. 

“Good. Now please try to get some sleep, we’re going to have a lot to figure out in the morning.”

“Of course. Riley?”

She looked up at him, eyelids heavy. “Hmm?”

“I love you, so much.” He kissed her on her forehead. 

She smiled and leaned into him, placing several light kisses on his chest. “I love you too, Liam. Always.”

He let out a content sigh and tightened his arms around his wife as they both drifted off to sleep.

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Sapere Aude:

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Liam x Riley:

@jared2612​

[geekygoddesss]

You (Part 9)

Summary: After Tom breaks the longest relationship he’s ever had, both of them seem to handle the breakup in a completely different way.

Words: 8k

NOT CORRECTED - possible typos along the text.

January 20th - Two weeks and a day after the break-up

There could be more than one reason on why he was waking up so early that morning. 

It was hard to know what was happening to him right away, because he was really confused and not feeling his greatest enough to wonder why the hell was he even awake at this time. He didn’t know what time it was, but it felt early. Maybe it was that light coldness that ran through his bedroom, or the unusual silence that overpowered the room a moment ago, he had a feeling that he should be sleeping at this time, but whatever was happening, something was calling for him at unusual timings and he really was not in the mood to talk to anyone or even worst, help anyone. 

He really felt like shit. 

No exaggerations intended, he felt like real shit from the moment he opened his eyes and he didn’t know why. His body wasn’t prepared to go through another day. 

Again, he really didn’t know what it was that was waking him up at this time, maybe because he was just waking up from the deepest of his sleeps and it was hard to acknowledge the world around him, but also, it was like everything was happening at the same time, and it made him completely confused for a good minute, confused enough to make his head spin. 

At first he thought it might be that pressuring feeling in his stomach, one that felt painful and stronger than any other time, it was atypical and he couldn’t guess what was the reason for such an uncomfortable feeling; then he thought it was that constant tossing and turning, coming from someone laying right beside him, he couldn’t remember who was, just bits and pieces, but whoever that was, they were moving a lot for his liking; finally, and after a good minute of thinking about it and stupidly ignore it, he came to the conclusion that it might be because of the barking of his dog coming from outside the room, sounds that were muffled by his closed door, but still were just as uncomfortable. That was definitely what was bugging him, it couldn’t be any other thing, Tessa’s bark wasn’t the quietest of bark’s, even with the door being closed it was annoying. 

He had the moral duty of getting up to go see what was happening, it was his dog after all, if the world was falling apart outside his window maybe Tessa would be the reason why he would find out about it, he couldn’t just ignore that something was happening and making her react, he had to get out from the bed and take a look. 

It was more difficult than it seemed. 

At first it was easy to turn to shake the covers out of him. His body was reacting slowly, slower than he’d like, but it was too early to be awake and he couldn't properly function. The second step was to open his eyes, thing that became a little difficult at first, but that after a couple of blinks and a bit of rubbing, it was done. Now he had to deal with the rest. 

Seeing the real world open in front of him made him realize of a couple of things he wasn’t aware of. And all of those seemed to be equally as inconvenient. 

Number one, He was very naked. 

Number two, there was a girl sleeping right beside him, whoever that was, her face looked familiar, but it didn’t matter, it was a girl. 

Number three, and more importantly, he had a boner, a painful one, and he really didn’t know where that was coming from. It was just… there. 

He didn’t know what situation to manage first, everything was happening at first and he didn’t know what to do. Leaving all the unconformities aside, he decided it would be a wise decision to prioritize things, so with a bit of effort and quick thinking, he grabbed his side of the covers and placed them over his lower body, reached out for the pair of sweatpants he usually stored under the bed (for especial situations and emergencies), and with a couple of swifts moves, he sat on the bed and slid them on; trying his best to avoid the small pulsing feeling in his head, and moving on to see what the hell was happening outside his door. 

His feet felt cold as he walked towards the door, he wasn’t the one who usually walked around the house barefoot, and adding to the series of annoying feelings, this was definitely one of them. He tried his best not to be noisy as he moved around the room, he didn’t want to wake the snoozing girl in his bed, but also didn’t feel like bugging himself with noise when he was already dealing with so much first thing in the morning, he tried to be discreet and quite. It was better for everyone. 

The first thing he noticed when peeking outside of his bedroom (almost afraid that something big would pop up) was Tessa’s tail moving around like crazy, as her paws moved around and jumped in place while she continued barking at the door. He figured out the matter sooner than he thought, mostly before he heard the sound of a door knock just seconds after seeing Tessa acting crazy. It was pretty intuitive. 

He really didn’t want to see anyone right now… 

He really hoped it wasn’t any of his neighbours, though, they hated him already, he wasn’t  in the mood to treat with any of them at the moment. 

“What’s up, Tess?” he said quietly, leaning down to touch her back and calm her down a bit “Stop that” he mumbled, making her quite down and moving her aside, as he moved forward to take a look through the door’s peephole.  

It was hard to focus on the image in front of him for two main reasons, one, the first thing that crossed his sight was a big mane of hair showing right in front on him, which made him doubt on who could exactly be, since he had a couple of options, but once he looked closer and thought about it, he didn’t even need to ask for a double check, because there was only one person he knew that had such a piece of hair, soft and prominent, and the second he knew who that was he just wanted to get it over it, because he sensed trouble and he wasn’t sure he could deal with it right now. 

The moment he opened the door and peeked to see who it was, seeing those blue eyes looking directly at him made him confirm his theory, the guy in front of me was unquestionably more handsome and looking better than he could possibly be at this time. He was wearing a small smile, dark clothes and suitcase right behind him, he really couldn’t guess what he was up to, it was difficult to think, but he had a lot of questions and not many answers. 

“Morning” Frank greeted, a side smile showing in his face as he gave a single wave. 

He had to blink twice just to make sure he was seeing things right, he didn’t really expect Frank to be passing by his apartment at this time, especially when it was the only person staying there was just him. 

Tom nodded once. “Morning, hi” he mumbled, hiding behind the door and rubbing his eye, in a poor intent to have a clearer view. “what a surprise, how are you, mate?” he asked, raising his eyebrows softly. 

He still wanted to be friendly, after all, he was like family for him, he’s known Frank for a while, he deserved nothing but a nice treatment from his part. 

“I’m good, how’s it going?” Frank nodded as he shrugged. 

Tom nodded back.  “Good, good, good, it’s all good...dandy, you know?” he answered quickly, trying to get a smile out of him but not really being able to, he was barely a person now. 

He was not going to lie, this was becoming fairly uncomfortable for him.

Small talking… not his jam. 

 He had a problem he needed to solve now, he had a girl sleeping on his bed and he definitely needed to put some clothes on, he couldn’t be chit chatting and making short talk with his girlfriend’s cousin, he needed peace and tranquility, and he wasn’t getting any of it.  

He needed to solve one problem at a time. Somehow he wasn’t half into the conversation and he already felt like he was losing his time, he had nothing better to do, but still had shit to get done. He needed to get this out of the way. 

“Can I help you?” he kindly asked, pressing a small smile out of him as he looked up at Frank. 

Frank smiled back. “My cousin is running out of supplies and she’s -like- driving me crazy, I just need to fill this thing” he mentioned, pointing at the suitcase beside him. “Do you mind?” 

His mind flashed and woke him up in less than a millisecond. 

How could he not notice until this day that she hasn’t sent anyone for her stuff?

And she had to do it now? so early? And at the worst possible moment? 

That was anything but nice, he didn’t want her to be picking her things at all, but he didn’t want to be covering things like a high schooler either, just like he was about to do… the different was, he really had no clue how he was going to manage that. This was ridiculous. 

Why did everything had to happen to him at the worst timings? 

“No, I don’t, absolutely” he answered fast as he looked back and mumbled. “would you give me just one second? I’ll move Tess to the bathroom and she won’t bother you, it’s just a second” he excused, moving to close the door. 

“She knows me, I don’t mind” he reminded Tom, making him stop in place before he closed the door in his face. 

“But she barks and I don’t want the neighbours to be complaining later, you know…” he tried to explain, laughing awkwardly “Just a second, I’ll be back”

He didn’t even gave Frank the chance to say something or stop him from letting him into his apartment, because the moment he closed that door he found himself rushing into his bedroom, swearing on everything he could and finding himself so torned over stupid things that it was hard for him to think straight about anything. 

First thing he had to take care of, that girl, he had to get rid of her in some way. Doing that without being rude seemed difficult, but he had 0 time to be worrying about how could he make everything more smooth, he just had to get shit done before letting Frank in, not be loosing time and making everything seem more weird and suspicious than it already was. 

He climbed onto the bed and sat right next to the girl, that even with the noisy environment around them seem to still be sleeping soundly and in peace, like a baby. He felt bad. He didn’t want to be bothering her after he brought her here, he didn’t want her to be freaking out or worrying on why he was doing this shit. He didn’t want to do this now. It was hard to get himself to explain the situation when it was this sudden and this inconvenient.

Either way, he would end up looking like an asshole no matter what he said, he knew that already. 

“Hello there” he mumbled quietly, leaning into to shake her body slightly in an attempt to wake her up gently. “Wakey Wakey” he mumbled, shaking her gently a couple of times in an attempt of waking her up. 

Good thing of living for so many years with a girl, he knew he would be expecting two things when waking a girl up: one, a pacific and quite behaviour, and two, a very angry one he shouldn’t question much. He already knew how to manage both situations, so he felt pretty lucky, it made the job a lot easier. 

The girl stored on the bed just a couple seconds later, he felt grateful that she actually woke up quickly. She opened one eye and looked at him, closed it again, sighed, opened both eyes with a lot of effort and smiled at him a beautiful smile.

She was in a good mood. Good.

“Hey, you” she mumbled, smiling at him as she leaned on her elbows. “What’s up?” 

“I am so sorry” he instantly mumbled, before saying anything else “but can you please come with me for a second?” He rushed, leaning in to grab a shirt from his side of the bed and passing it to her without giving much context.

She frowned, clearly feeling concerned by his behaviour and sensing something was off. He didn’t want to be throwing her off like this, but he had no other option, he had to present things with honestly to evict confusions, the situation was already pretty stupid, he didn’t want to make it worst. 

“What’s going on?” She asked as she grabbed the shirt without saying much and slid it over her head. 

“My girlfriend’s cousin, if he sees i’m with someone he’ll probably choke me, so, It’ll just be a minute, stay there” He explained, grabbing her hand and leading her to the bathroom that was only a couple steps away from his bedroom. “Stay here, It’ll be quick, I promise” 

“Girlfriend? Excuse me?” She asked, frowning as she looked up at him, not looking very happy about his statement. 

“Ex!” he corrected himself once he noticed all the nonsense that came out of his mouth “ “It’s complicated, sorry, I forget, I just- Ah, one  minute” 

He didn’t think he could babble this much until all the words finally left his mouth, whoever this girl was, she didn’t look convinced enough, and he could only blame himself for being so bad at speaking and producing, but he could only hoped she cooperated with him, because otherwise it would have been a very uncomfortable situation. 

“Sure” she narrowed her eyes, sat down on the toilet seat and crossed her leg over the other “but you own me breakfast” 

He let out a deep sigh. “Thank you” he said with honest words, moving forward and closing the door. 

That was easier than he thought, he thought, some others might as well put up a fight, but this seemed pretty reasonable, that was good. One less thing to solve on the list, now he had to deal with the most obvious one, the one that worried him the most. 

He looked down. 

His boner, it was showing, it wasn’t hiding. This was not normal. 

It was too painful and noticeable, sweatpants were not working as well as they usually did in other situation, this time was odd and very out of hand, he didn’t know why, but he just… couldn’t relax, and it showed, it was embarrassing. He didn’t even know why he was like this, it usually happened, but he could manage this kinds of things easily. 

Why was it not working?

Why didn’t it go down?

“I don’t have all day!” he heard Frank’s voice yell from outside. 

He could have sworn something in his head had blown off the moment he heard that. It was like everything was happening at the same time and he just couldn’t think, maybe because it was too early, or how strange he felt, but his head wasn’t really working right and he was… sweating, he didn’t know why he felt like this, it was weird. 

He ran to his front door, wanting to get this all of the way already and letting Frank in the apartment. He didn’t even care about his little (big) problem, he just wanted to kick some stones out of the way so he could be left alone and try to figure what the hell he could do to stop feeling so weird, but having other people around him while this happened was stressing him out, and he was sure this didn’t help the situation in any way. 

“Sorry, come in” he apologized, letting Frank inside his home and moving aside, giving him the greenlight to make himself at home. 

He knew Frank knew that he was onto something, because the moment he stepped in the apartment the look he shot his way and burned him alive was not very discreet, in fact, he could have sworn it was completely intentional, to make him feel bad on purpose for acting so weird, but that wasn’t his fault, it was just… the timing, it was completely wrong for everything. 

“Tessa’s out” Frank pointed out, looking down and waking into the living room, like it was usual. 

Tessa. 

He completely forgot about moving Tessa somewhere else. 

Good thing she knew him already, because she was running around and jumping at the sight of his presence, so it was a good thing. At least she wasn’t going to bark because there was a stranger inside his house or something. 

“Yeah” he sighed deeply “it’s just-” 

“Oof, boy, calm down” Frank sighed, interrupting him completely and making him stop in place at such a gesture. 

He didn’t even need to ask, he was already blushing. 

Frank laughed at him shamelessly as he leaned in to caress Tessa’s head and at the same time looked over at Tom’s pants, that were obviously showing too much and he couldn’t do anything about it. Frank found it hilarious for some reason, and didn’t even try to mask the fact that it was there and he was looking at it, he was such an open person that he didn’t even mind acknowledging its presence openly, and that was so embarrassing. This was embarrassing.

 He couldn’t believe this was even happening. 

 “I hope that’s not me, I’m taken” Frank laughed, standing up straight as he shamelessly stared at him, laughed some more and shook his head at the joke of the year. 

And he couldn’t calm down, not even now. 

“No- no, no, no, no, no” Tom stuttered right away, shaking his head and finding it hard to speak. “I’m into other things”

Frank laughed. “Oh boy, don’t I know that already” he let out, took a step forward and palmed his back twice. “just, uh, I’ve got class, if you don’t mind, where’s the closet?” he asked, raising an eyebrow in question and showing him a small smile. 

Tom pressed his lips together. Almost wanting to give an explanation before he went in to whatever he had to do, but something inside of him told him maybe that wouldn’t be a good idea, maybe it was better to shut up and let it pass. 

He would do that, he didn’t know what else was viable, anyway. So he shut his mouth, closed his eyes and pointing towards his room, silently giving Frank permission to go over there and get whatever he needed. 

“Merci” He thanked, palming his back again and walking directly to his room. 

Something inside of him told him that maybe it would be a good idea just to stay back and let him look for whatever he needed inside of his room. The other part of him thought of that girl, just sitting there inside of his bathroom and waiting for a green light to come out, and feared that Frank would cross paths with her at some point. The other part of him (deep down) thought: maybe it would be nice to go an have a talk with Frank, after all, he thought if there was anyone who knew about his girlfriend’s state, that was him, he knew her better than anyone in the world, he must know what is going on inside her head most of the time. He was dying to know what she was up to and how she felt, maybe it was that time to have that conversation and he should go ahead and ask him. 

Now, now is the time.

It was the smartest thing he could think of at the moment, going up there with Frank would assure him two things: making sure he wouldn’t go anywhere he didn’t need to, and talk to Tom about (Y/n). In his head it seemed like a good plan, so he would carry on with it. 

With nothing else to say or do, he just went up to his room right after Frank. He walked slowly and discretely, following his steps until he made it into his room and set up the suitcase in front of the giant closet before him. Tom just sat down on his side of the bed, looked down at his lap and took in the deep silence that was summoned in the room. He just sat down in there and shut his mouth, it was hard to bring himself to say anything when he couldn’t even think straight, all he could do was sit there and watch him move around his bedroom with freedom, like he was specifically instructed where to look and how to move around, because he clearly was, and he seemed to remember every detail. 

The silence was so pure and dense you could cut it with a knife, none of them had anything to bring up into a conversation, and there was some clear tension above them that wasn’t letting any of them act like they used to do when everything was in peace. At least on Tom’s side, he didn’t really feel capable of bringing something into the table, something over them was winning and intimidating him to the point of keeping him silent, it was very unusual, but it was happening, and it was the reality of things they were facing. 

But even when Tom wanted to get some words out of him, he just couldn’t, because he couldn’t think. That suffocating pressure inside of him was so annoying and exhausting that not only was he sweating but he was also finding it difficult to be coherent with himself and what he’d like to say. He didn’t want to seem like a fool after that weird encounter, especially with the record he was already creating for himself; he wanted to have a descent conversation with Frank, someone who was so close to get and was also the most honest person that inhabited this planet, it was a big deal, he didn’t want to fuck up. He had to keep is head clear and relax in order to produce a decent conversation… he just had to relax. 

He breathed in...and then out. 

In, then out. 

In, out. 

In, out.

In, out. 

In…

It was not working, it was not even helping in the slightest bit. He didn’t know what was happening. He was starting to feel something was seriously wrong, and he couldn’t get his finger on what exactly was doing this effect on him.

Last night was pretty much blurry, if he could only remember...

“Why didn’t she come here herself?” he found himself saying out of the blue, breaking the ice from all sudden and just getting words out of his mouth just like so. 

This was one of those times when he would feel like something bigger than himself and that was looking down at him was writing down his words and making him say them out and clear, like he was an actor on his own life, and he had to recite everything that he was told to, in order to get to places and situations. He didn’t know how he got himself to say that, but he did, he walking into sketchy conversation easier than he thought he could. 

“Because she doesn’t want to see you, genius” Frank mumbled, getting a couple of clothing items in his hands and leaving them over the bed “Also, she’s busy, she wasn’t going to waste her time coming here”

“Oh” he mumbled, looking down at his hands as he said. “I mean, I wouldn’t have mind...” he spoke, a nervous chuckle escaping from his lips as the words left his mouth. 

“Yeah, but she kinds of wants you to be out of her perimeter” Frank explained, looking at him and shrugging. “I don’t know if you understand it” 

Somehow it seemed like Frank tried to paint a picture to a little boy in order to understand a situation. 

He was not in any way a little boy, and he understood this situation to perfection. He created it after all, he knew exactly what was going on and how he was standing in this whole deal. The least he could do was try to make things right and care while they were dealing with this, he didn’t want to be the bad person between them, and he didn’t want to know she was doing bad, because he loves her and all he wants for her is the best of the best. He just wanted to know how she were, that was all, at least in the slightest bit, he wanted to care for her in everything he could.

“Is she really mad?” he asked quietly, not bothing to look up at Frank at any moment. 

He heard him hiss at his question. 

“She said you’d ask” he mentioned, being careful with his tone as he kept digging in the closet. “and I should be saying that she hates your guts, but that’s not true, I should also be saying, she’s much better alone, but she’s a nerve wreck and I am not a liar, and I also should be saying, you should really go relax because this is getting creepy and I’m oddly feeling the need of getting out before I see myself involved in this” he said, now turning his tone into a more confident tone as the conversation scaled. 

It was hard for Tom to focus from one point of the conversation to another. When he looked up at Frank, he noticed he was looking at him with a teasing smile, almost trying not to laugh at him, and made him turn his attention back to the problem inside of his pants, that even when he wished for it to not exist at the moment, it was there interrupting the situation in the worst way possible. 

It was making it impossible to have a normal conversation. 

“You’re extremely attractive, by the way” Frank mentioned, winking at him and going back to his businness. 

He sensed that maybe all this teasing and mentioning the obvious in the conversation was only done on propose to annoy him, and it was, but not in a bad way, not in a good way either. He just found himself conflicted to maintain a normal environment while being like this the entire time. 

“I am relaxed, Frank” he made clear, reaching out to grab a pillow to cover himself. “Just-“ he tried to say, signaling him to turn around and continue doing whatever he had to do. 

“Okay. okay” Frank raised both arms, turning around as he was told to and not saying anything else “she specifically asked for her yellow hoodie, and I see… anything but that, where is it?” he asked, looking around, as he grabbed more things from the cabinets. “Geez, how many clothes does she have? This is too much, now I get why you have two closets, How did you allow this nightmare?”

For some reason Tom found himself chuckling at that question. It was a very good one. 

“I bring her hoodies from everywhere I go, we always collect a thing or two from around, mine is just as big and we have space, it’s a win-win” he shortly explain, shrugging as he looked back at the big closet in front of him.  It was true that maybe their closet was a bit too big for only the two of us, but for them it was the right amount of space for them to store the best memories and things they could found joy on.

 Clothing was one of their common joy, along other things, but this was one of the most meaningful for both of them. 

“This is impossible, I’m just taking the important things” Frank sighed, taking a couple more things from one cabinet, as he turned to look over his shoulder and muttered. “Hoodie?”

Tom nodded. “That’d be on my side, last one” he pointed towards the left door and allowed him to continue. “you might want to take the black skirt that’s right under it, or the jeans” he mentioned, just putting the fact out there and letting him decide. 

“Why?” Frank asked, in a bit of a confused tone, but still following his instructions. 

Tom shrugged. “I don’t know, she looks cute when she wears it all together” he mentioned shyly “I like it on her” 

“Right” 

Maybe it was stupid to say so, but he had to admit that he would miss seeing her throw that specific set of clothing on her in the mornings, right before leaving for school and he also had to leave for anything he had for the day, he would miss those moments. It was the little things around him that made him miss having her around, maybe this was one of them, and seeing that Frank was picking up so many memories didn’t make him feel any better, in fact, he was feeling very nostalgic right now. 

It was really happening, he thought, she was leaving, she was picking her things. She could leave for real. 

He took a moment to watch Frank collect everything he was commanded to from the floor and close the closets door as he packed everything inside of that suitcase. He took a peak at her side of the closet while it was still open, a lot of her things were still there, good, but she was slowly getting everything back to her, and it felt weird, it was like slowly he was becoming more alone that he ever expected. 

As Frank finished collecting everything inside of the case, he grabbed it in both hands and placed it up in the bed while it was still open, revealing all of the unorganized pieces of clothing he just grabbed, all placed everywhere and ready to go. It was a shame just to look at that, he never thought he would even be staring at this, so soon. 

“Sorry for the mess, but this is quicker” Frank excused himself, standing in front of the suitcase laying on the bed and starting for fold everything in, so it would be more or less organized. 

Tom waved a hand, not minding it at all. He didn’t mind about him some extra couple minutes to organize himself, after all, he was just doing a small part of the job, this was only a little piece of work. 

 “So…” Frank mumbled, as he grabbed the yellow hoodie and held it between is hands “Are you going to tell me why is it still standing, or not?”

Tom pressed his lips together. 

Apparently he was not going to be able to have a normal conversation until that topic wasn’t covered. Frank was either evading the topic, or just trying to embarass him more than he already was. 

He didn’t even care anymore, he wanted this topic to be over, not be asked about it again for the rest of the morning, if it was even possible. 

“Because I can’t relax and you’re here, give me a break” He groaned under his breath, not finding any other good explanation, mostly because there wasn’t one. 

Frank laughed. “You’re straight, why would my presence prolonge your erection?”

“Because I took a pill and now it doesn’t want to go down” 

Suddenly it all made sense. 

Suddenly he remembered all of it. 

Now that is what was happening. 

The human mind was incredible. He couldn’t remember about that fact just as easily as that, but his mind just popped that memory out of nothing and now he was regretting every single part of his decisions. All of them. 

Suddenly he was able to remember how Harrison was inviting him out last night, how they were drinking and having a good time, and he told him before he left the bar the trustiness of the effects of that blue pill, and how it turned a good night into a better night from one moment to another. 

He remembered to be drunk enough to accept that stupid proposal. Stupid.

He couldn’t even believe he was up to that. He was such an idiot. 

“You’re kidding” Frank scoffed, stopping in place. 

“I wish”

There was no doubt that she will be hearing about this story once he confessed it all, but it was the sad truth of this situation, it was really happening. He felt very ashamed. 

“Say no more!” Frank yelled, covering his mouth with two hands as he laughed at his small confession, apparently finding it to be the best joke he’s heard in the entire day “That’s on you, oh man”

“It’s not supposed to do this!” Tom argued, pointing at the problem, suddenly feeling completely frustrated.  

“Thomas” Frank stopped him, taking a moment to sit on the bed and look at him with the small bit of seriousness still left on him. “I don’t want to be a pain in the ass, or put my nose in your business, but you do know that Viagra is only supposed to be given if necessary, right?” he asked, again, acting like if this was a joke and holding a laugh.  “And I don’t think you need it, I know that from facts”

Tom couldn’t help but roll his eyes. “I know, I know...”  he mumbled. 

“Then how...”

“Harrison told me it would only last a couple of hours and that it made you more... energetic” he tried to explain, as if that was reasonable enough, or even valid. “I didn’t thought I would wake up like this”

Frank rolled his eyes harder than he could ever do it, that is when he knew he was too innocent to handle something like Viagra, he was a kid trapped in the body of a 23-year old adult, he didn’t know about life, he was naive enough to think that would make sex better for him, like if he needed that at all. 

Stupid.

“Bro, Morning woods, it’s normal; if the drug is still on your blood you can’t do much, you are the problem in this equation” Frank explained, moving over to keep organising the case as he kept speaking.  ‘How many?” he asked, clearly examining the situation. 

Tom tried to remember well… Remember if he wasn’t having some kind of overdose for being an idiot. 

“One” he mentioned quietly. 

“Okay, an hour before?” Frank asked. 

“Right before the act”

The biggest laugh left Frank lips after he spoke.

Tom wasn’t sure if he was enjoying this or not, on his side, this was not even funny, but apparently after being an idiot and having a bad time, people laugh at you, and they enjoy it, it’s like revenge. 

“You idiot! you haven’t drain it, at all, your penis could literally fall off from that shit!” he exclaimed, laughing even more as he spoke. Tom hands went cold and he turned to look at him. 

Did he just say....

“I’m kidding, actually, it’s not that dangerous on a normal dose” Frank said, after finishing his stupid (and not funny) joke. Tom was really stressing himself over this. “How was it anyways?” Frank asked raising his brow. 

He wished he could explain it clearly, but he couldn’t remember how it was exactly. He remember feeling normal, and then, a couple minutes after, feeling like a rush was going through his body for a specific amount of time, his heart beating, his body telling him to move. He didn’t know. It was a mix of thing, he couldn’t get a grip on any specific detail. 

“Weird” he explained, trying to be clear. “You’re chill one second and the other is like... like the shot of adrenaline you’ve never had” he remembered, trying to bring back to his mind that weird memory… but he could only gather bits and pieces. 

“Dear god” Frank hissed at that story. “Geez, my balls hurt just from hearing that, oh man” 

Tom couldn’t help but glance at him for a second. If that was supposed to be some moral support, it really wasn’t helping…

“You’re a nurse, aren’t you?” he asked, once that fact came to mind “How do I… you know”

It was only wise to ask something like that, because he didn’t want to be hearing later that the only thing he could think of doing was the one thing he wasn’t supposed to do. He just wanted to make sure. He’s never been or heard of any horror stories from this, so he might as well ask someone who might have some notion on the human body, before he got into places he couldn’t control. 

“There’s only one way out, buddy, you know it already” Frank reminded him with a smile. 

“Meditate, relax, let it out”

Nothing he didn’t know already. Good to hear, but at the same time, very weird. 

“Thank you” he nodded his way, offering his smile as a small thank you. 

Frank nodded back. “I think I’m done” Frank stated, staffing all the clothes on top of the case and pressing them in, closing it quickly as he said. “Thanks for making my day, and also, have a nice meditation” he winked, pulling the case his way and walking back. 

He didn’t even give Tom any time to say anything else, he just grabbed what he needed and made his way out, leaving him with one half covered topic and a couple questions still unanswered, questions that he needed to get over with before going on with his day. He could just be left like that, he needed answers. 

“Hey, Frank! Hold on” he exclaimed, jumping off from his bed, following Frank before he could leave his bedroom and stopping him in place. 

He needed to get things clear between them. 

“Yes?” Frank mumbled, in a bored tone. 

Tom stopped for a second, not really finding the right words to say to get out of this situation. 

“Can you give me advice?” He asked softly, trying to be delicate with the situation and as reasonable as possible. 

“On what? Exactly, I’m getting creeped out again” Frank mumbled, standing up straight. 

“Well” Tom sighed, trying to find the right way to say it  “Leaving this aside and all that just happened” he started. “How is she? How is she doing? Do you think it’ll be a good time to call her soon?”

Maybe those were a lot of questions at the same time, but it was really everything that was on his mind, he felt like maybe it was right to leave it out there, before it was too late.

“What for?” Frank asked, now in a serious tone. 

Tom shrugged, now really starting to get nervous. “Talking, catching up, you know” he explained shortly. “I don’t know if you know about the other night, I feel like too many things were said and maybe now we aren’t on the best terms...”

“Uh huh” Frank nodded, listening carefully to his vague explanation.

“I know she’s probably busy, can’t blame her, I’ll be busy too in a couple of days, but what’s on my mind is... do you think maybe I should call her or something? Before I left town” he asked, hoping to be careful enough to get a yes for an answer. 

Deep down he hoped he would, even when it was very idealistic. 

“What. For?” Frank asked again, being more harsh with his words. 

Tom went speechless at the hardness of his words, he didn’t know how to answer that politely, so he didn’t, he sensed that he might have asked things he shouldn’t have, and now he was being told off for it. 

He couldn’t have said anything else to elaborate on his question, because right when he was about to speak, Frank stood up straight, looking taller and more serious, making him shut up without saying a word. 

“Listen, she starts working tomorrow, she is nervous, saturated with things to do, and over the moon for this shit; over my dead body you’re going to step in and mess up her mind, right when she’s one step ahead of a nervous breakdown” he warned, sounding calm but at the same time making his warning clear like water. 

Tom sighed. “Mate, I’m worried, I want to know what she’s doing, last time we saw each other we argued, I feel terrible” he excused. 

Frank scoffed. “You did this, I’m just representing her side of this break, If you expect me to tell you you’re allowed to call her, I’m sorry, but you’re not” he stated, starting to walk out, but Tom stopped him.

He couldn’t leave yet. 

“I can call her now if I fucking want” Tom let him know, just making that clear. 

“Yeah, right” Frank warned, taking a step (and just a step) towards him. “Hear me out, if you’re worry is you’re leaving town without saying goodbye, then fine, leave her a message or something, but make it short and sweet, buddy, I don’t want you to fill her in with your bullshit, she’s stressing enough and doesn’t want to hear from you, at all: It’s not a good mix” he mentioned, very quietly “but if what you want is fix things, right now, then go take a fucking walk, because if I hear your voice, hear that you spoke to her or see you coming anywhere near her perimeter, I’m going to punch your bloody face so hard, I’m going to break your pretty nose and I’m going to feel better than ever, I don’t even care; and I don’t care how much it’s worth or who’s going to sew me, I’m warning you now, you come near her and you’re toast” he warned, being very clear as he whispered. “I used to box, do I need to say more?”

Tom gulped. 

He could have sworn his veins went cold from hearing that, it was seriously intimidating. He feared that it might be true and not just something to scare him off.

Frank didn’t offer joke about things like this. 

“Then, when it will be a good time?” Tom asked quietly. 

“Oh gosh, ask yourself that, how many girls will you be able to fuck before my cousin makes some time in her precious agenda, so she can hear your bullshit... hm...” Frank said sarcastically, making his way to the front door. “You have my number, when your head is clear, you can call me” he mentioned, opening the door and mumbling “Au revoir, handsome”

Tom closed his eyes, his voice was hard and completely serious, he just couldn’t believe he has come to a moment when someone like Frank would speak to him like this. 

He was just left standing in the middle of his apartment, speechless and blank, not being able to anything else but to pity himself and be left alone, like it was now usual. Because he was alone, and he couldn’t help but to feel terrible about it. 

And he couldn’t even ask about her… his girl. 

Turning his head to the side, he was able to see the girl he invited in peeking her head through the bathroom door and looking for him, waiting for an answer. He almost forgot about her, if he was honest. She was his company for the night, and he almost forgot about her… he was terrible. 

“Sorry, that was my ex’s cousin, it’s all clear” he excused, walking back to his room as quickly as he could and going to attend the half naked girl inside of his bedroom. 

He wanted to be a good host, at least. 

“No worries” she chuckled. “Do you happen to have an Advil? My head is messed up” she asked, reaching down to grab his dress from the bedroom floor and sliding it over her head. 

“Yes, of course” he nodded, walking straight to his nightstand and going to pick a couple of those. 

If there was one good drug he kept with him, that was Advil. It helped with everything, unlike other things… the least he could do for that girl was to offer her one. 

“I think you left your phone in the bathroom, it’s ringing” she said shyly, walking towards him slowly and handing it to him. 

He frowned for a second, looked back at his nightstand and realized that, in fact, his phone wasn’t there and he never noticed. It must have been silenced. 

“Thank you” he smiled softly, passing her the small pill and taking the phone in return. 

At first he thought it must have been Frank the one who has been blowing his phone off with calls, since apparently he was the one to think it would be a good idea to show up at his home so early, but once he checked his message, he was able to realize a couple of things he wasn’t aware of before. One, his phone was indeed blown off with messages, and number two, it wasn’t Frank, but his parents calling, and it seemed to be like he was forgetting something, and not only that, he apparently was already late, like he was for everything. 

It wasn’t even a surprise, he already felt terrible about it. 

Golfing day, it was the family golfing day. 

And he forgot… Idiot. 

“I’m so sorry” Tom spoke softly, directly referring to the girl as he said. “it was a good time but I have to ask you to leave, sorry, Lori” he mumbled.

He didn’t want to know how he was able to remember her name. He just wanted her out. 

“Lola” she corrected him softly. 

“Yes, sorry” he snapped out of it, turning to her and trying for once to be polite. “Taxi, do you need a taxi? Here’s some cash for the taxi, and breakfast; sorry for the bathroom thing” he spoke quickly, taking a couple bills from his nightstand and handing it to her without a single hesitation. 

Again, he didn’t know what he was doing, he just wanted her out. 

“No need and no worries” she chuckled nervously, sensing the weird environment around the room. “I live across the street, don’t worry” she shrugged, picking up her thinks as she asked. “Are you alright?”

“No” he simply answered, shrugging her way and looking away from where she was. “Close the door when you’re out”

Somehow, she felt like it was her responsibility to make that question; but just like it was her responsibility, he felt like it was his responsibility to be honest with her, and he would be, because he didn’t feel like covering things up with lies and just wanted to be left alone. As easy as that. 

He heard her sigh. 

“Thank you, by the way, it was a great night” he thanked her softly, before she would think otherwise. 

“Thank you, hottie” he heard her mumble, as she stepped back. “see you around”

It was only a matter of time until he was left alone again. He took a moment just to stay there and wait to hear the door close behind her until he was completely alone inside of his apartment. Like always.

A million thoughts ran inside of his head, and none of them were any good. After what he did, after what he has said, he just felt like the worst person in the world, at least for his girl, he felt like the worst person in her life, and he didn’t like that. He felt alone, and terrible… it’s been a while since he’s felt like this. He deserved it. 

No matter what just happened, he just had to deal with his misery. 

Today he had to do what he always did, what he lived for. He had to put on a happy face and pretend. It was what he did best, and today was not exception. 

Maybe with that he will believe he wasn’t this alone, but it would be a lie… just like all of the things he’s learn to say so easily. 

Taglist: 

@lovely-geek​ @greatpizzascissorstaco @halparkebitch @antigoneidk @clarissa-hunter @let-me-luve-you @joyleenl @delicateslover @aussie-holland @cherrysruin @jmstravel @elamvlfoy @trumpettay @vhs-taped @twinkletommo-blog @thevelvetseries @witchything @lowkey-holland @idk123906 @peterparkersthot​ @lola-bunny-00​ @softholand @tomsirishgirlx​ @xxxxdelenaxxxx​  @radolenscent​ @yoongi-holland​ @itstaskeen​ @hipsterlungster​ @tyffanynguyen03 @leximarie66​ @frustratingpaperclip​ @alex231infinity @mychemicalimagines​ @gabiconstellation​ @aa-ronpa @nightxshadex201​ @heyo-lego​ @xeniarocks​ @juliebean247​ @morbiddanvers​ @dudde-44​ @in-a-lot-of-fandoms-tbh​ @captainr0mania​ @panicattheeverywherekid​ @unbelievableholland​ @mismatched-lovers​ @lu-morningstar​ @sspidermanss​ @hollanddolanfangirl​ @lukesbabylon​ @letsloveimagines​

[davids-cartoon-corkboard]

I have said a Lot about the “Raph is a system” theory over the past several months, so this is something of a compilation post. It’s got some new stuff, it’s got some old stuff. (You’re reading Part 1) (Part 2 is here) (Part 3 is here)

---

Firstly, “system” is the term for someone with Dissociative Identity Disorder, or DID. (The term can also apply to some folks with OSDD.) Someone might develop DID after experiencing long-term trauma at an early age- roughly five or six years old. To paraphrase the DSM-V:

1. We’ve seen three (possibly four) distinct personality states who speak, act, and perceive others differently.

2. The personality states, or “alters”, don’t necessarily share memory, and Donnie insinuated in “The Clothes Don’t Make the Turtle” that Raph has a bad memory in general.

3. Problems arise when alters don’t get along or aren’t on the same page. That none of them seem to be quite aware they’re a system doesn’t help either; it’s hard to work on communication and cooperation when you don’t know they need to be worked on!

4. This whole situation isn’t a normal part of a broadly accepted cultural or religious practice, or just Raph playing make-believe. (Though I wonder if he had “imaginary friends” when he was younger...)

5. It’s also not because Raph’s been smoking the devil’s lettuce or whatever. “Pizza Puffs” was one long weed joke and he was the only one “sober” (not poisoned) throughout! We don’t see this happen to other mutants, so it’s not a bizarre side effect of mutagen either.

(I’ve seen a few people joke that Mikey has “multiple personalities”, but that’s a tad yikesy and also just plain incorrect. His “doctor” personas are something he does deliberately, and youngest siblings are just Like That.)

So yeah, Raph is pretty heavily DID-coded. We’ve seen four alters so far:

“Host” Raph (HR): He’s our everyday Raph. A “host” is an alter who fronts most of the time and takes care of “business as usual” situations. They are often unaware of past traumatic events, such that they can appear “normal”. (Ex: the host of a child who lives with an abusive parent could be unaware of the abuse. Otherwise, they might cry or be uncooperative whenever the parent is near, further invoking their wrath. This unawareness allows them to be a “good child”, and stay under the parent’s radar sometimes.) Some systems have more than one host, but that the others have shown up so rarely in this story suggests HR is the only host (for now?).

Savage Raph (SR): Debuting in “Man vs. Sewer”, he’s a survival-oriented alter. HR probably could have defeated the Sando Brothers on his own under normal circumstances, but being in the middle of a breakdown doesn’t do much for your fighting skills. SR got pulled to the front to deal with them instead.

“Red” Raph (RR): “Red” is just a placeholder since we don’t actually know his name yet (or even if he has one, not all alters do), though I’ve also heard folks call him “Angel”. He’s got a “tough love” approach to problem-solving, which was probably a helpful thing in the past. LDM were no doubt rowdy children! We were (officially) introduced to him in “Pizza Puffs”.

Mind Raph (MR): MR could just be a manifestation of HR's thought process via Cartoon Goofery, but that possibility doesn’t give me anything to work with so I’m ignoring it. He’s pretty similar to HR, maybe a tad more upbeat. We (officially) met him in “Raph’s Ride-Along”.

When “Pizza Puffs” first aired, I was like “ah yes, this is the alter who has the cranky edgelord tendencies we’ve seen in previous iterations of Raph. He probably broods on rooftops in the rain when he’s in a bad mood.” Combining that with the whole “Red Angel” thing gives off some Batman vibes. And, of course, SR is similar to the Hulk. Those two heroes are pretty different, but they do have one major thing in common...

A sudden, violent loss. Given how prevalent rushing water is throughout “Man vs. Sewer”, I’m thinking a flood came through and separated Raph from his family. (You could probably argue that turbulent water symbolizes a turbulent subconscious? 🤷) Again, DID stems from long-term trauma, so Raph must have been gone for... a while. A couple of months, maybe more? It’s hard to say exactly; we have a little wiggle room when applying human developmental psychology to a human/turtle mutant. Since Splinter still needed to care for the other three, he wouldn’t have been able to devote much time to searching for Raph, and the New York City sewers go on for miles and miles. The longer Raph was alone, the more convinced he would have been that the others had drowned and he was the only survivor.

How old would he have been? I know the turtles are “different ages”, but they were all mutated at the same time so I’m pretty sure Splinter was just like “the littlest one is the youngest, the biggest one is the oldest, and the medium-sized ones are the middle children.” They’re all probably fourteenish by “Finale”. Back in “MvS”, Leo said, “You know how savage Raph gets when he’s alone”. He didn’t say anything like, “You know how savage Raph gets when he’s alone ever since such-and-such an incident happened”. This suggests that LDM straight-up don’t know something traumatic happened to Raph; they were too little to retain concrete memories of that time. In their minds, Raph has always been like this. Draxum isn’t known for his patience, so even though he wasn’t able to immerse the hatchlings in mutagen for long, they probably mature a bit faster than humans. And since humans usually can’t remember anything from before four years of age, three sounds about right for the turtles, though they would have been stronger and steadier on their feet than any human toddler. I doubt Raph would have survived otherwise.

I think he’s sort of... “stuck” back in that trauma. Catching food, building a fire, making a weapon, and getting camouflage aren’t the behaviors of someone who’s only been gone for a few minutes.

When SR called for help, I don’t think he was expecting anyone to answer.

But Raph did manage to hang onto something as he was swept away! It wasn’t much, but that little ragdoll gave him comfort while he was scared and alone.

(The rabbit design on Bruce’s pajamas is probably a coincidence, but...)

Raph seems the type to have sympathy for odd-looking toys. His knockoff Mrs. Cuddles plushie was the emotional crutch he needed back then.

And then he was separated from that as well. Lowkey associating Mrs. Cuddles with this traumatic event would explain why HR was so scared of her. That he doesn’t remember the trauma means he has no context for this fear, making it seem silly and baseless to him (and to the rest of his family), which is why he denied being scared at all in the first part of the “Mrs. Cuddles” episode. It would also explain why he collects teddy bears instead these days, they are a “safe” toy. (The moral of the story is to not make fun of triggers that seem silly.)

(I wonder what would happen if Mrs. Cuddles encountered Savage Raph? Perhaps he’d be quite sympathetic towards such a lonely little raggedy thing! Timestuck as he is, he probably wouldn’t question why a stuffed animal can talk... and it wouldn't be hard for her to persuade her “new bestest fwiend” to get rid of some “mean ol’ nasty sewew monstews” for her.)

That whole “sewer monsters” thing suggests Raph ran into... something while he was wandering alone. Y’all have heard those rumors about alligators living in the New York City sewers, right? Encountering Leatherhead could trigger a flashback.

It would be pretty easy to introduce Leatherhead into the narrative. One of the episodes the Rise crew had planned was titled “The Island of Dr. Noe”, and alligators have very impressive teeth. The Mirage comics had a story where Leatherhead and several cryptids were brought to an island to be hunted for sport.

Noe seems to have quite a few cronies/friends/rivals he could entertain this way. Since he’s got that obsession with Raph, Noe captures him as well, knocking him out with those darts so he can’t waste his energy trying to escape too soon. (Let’s just assume everyone’s powers are glitchy because they all hit another wave of puberty, meaning they can’t just curbstomp the lower-level villains lol.)

HR wakes up on the island and, of course, starts to panic because he’s lost and alone. While wandering, he runs into Leatherhead, which would trigger a flashback to getting attacked by that alligator all those years ago. But Leatherhead doesn’t want to fight! He’s just as scared and confused as HR is, and could really use a partner to help him survive this island.

HR and SR come into conflict because Leatherhead is/isn’t/is/isn’t/is/isn’t a threat. HR eventually wins out, reasoning that even if Leatherhead is that alligator, it wouldn’t be fair to judge him for what he did back when he was an animal.

But time and dissociation can make memories unclear. That our first look at Leatherhead was in Draxum’s “bluh bluh I’m gonna mutate all the humans” bit in “Bug Busters” means he’s a human-base mutant. He wasn’t the alligator back then, but the hunter tracking it. Leatherhead isn’t one of Noe’s targets, he is one of Noe’s guests! And he wants no one to interfere with his quarry, so he’ll play nice long enough for him and the snapper to take out the rest of the hunters and the freaks. Then the two of them will have the island all to themselves...

Years and years ago, Jack Marlin was a big game hunter prowling the New York City sewers in search of an alligator. He did manage to find and kill one, only to realize it had also been hunting! He had inadvertently saved the strangest little turtle creature.

Marlin had become too skilled at this point, the hunt held no challenge for him. This turtle sounded very young, and he was quite big and strong already. An adult could be tough and intelligent enough to entertain him. Marlin tried to get Raph to lead him back to “the others”. But Raph had been lost for some time, and as far as he knew, his family was dead. Hearing that put Marlin in quite the sour mood. A little mutant snapper is a better catch than none at all, so Marlin tried to haul Raph off. Raph fought back and bit off Marlin’s hand. He escaped, but lost his rabbit in the scuffle. Marlin retreated as well, taking some time to recover, scheme, and hunt other game. (And to pocket that rabbit. The blood loss had made him woozy, and he wanted to have some kind of proof he hadn’t just hallucinated the snapper.) Perhaps he turned that alligator’s hide into a vest, which provided the genetic material for his mutation when he eventually got bit by an oozesquito. Like his Mirage counterpart, Marlin didn’t take losing a limb as a sign he should retire, and instead got a tricked-out prosthetic. Who knows what he could do with it in such a mystic setting as Rise.

Raph eventually reunited with his family, but those distrustful, high-strung survivalist traits he had picked up weren’t helpful anymore. He once again had to be the good and patient big brother who didn’t bite when someone play-tackled him or shook him awake at three in the morning because they’d had a nightmare. Those two states gradually got partitioned off more and more, and now they know little, if anything, about each other.

So Leatherhead and HR are chasing away some mothmen or whatever, and things are going pretty well... until one of them knocks Leatherhead over and a familiar ragdoll rabbit falls out of his pocket. SR realizes that Leatherhead is Marlin and switches in to fight him off again. They’re evenly matched, or perhaps SR is even in danger of losing, when LDM arrive to provide support. Leatherhead is enough of a tactician to know that he should retreat. Donnie and Mikey pursue him while Leo stays behind, placing the rabbit in his stunned brother’s hands. “Remember when Pops made this for you? You were always really gentle with it, ‘cause he wasn’t good at sewing back then...”

(This thing really needs patching up, he’s got sewing stuff for whenever he needs to fix his bears/Blue isn’t a threat on his own/Wasn’t he just back at the lair?/Blue gave back the rabbit/Why does he feel like he got hit by a train?/Blue doesn’t want to fight?/ ...Leo?) And that’s enough for HR to switch back in. He’s probably missing memory from his whole time on the island, so while Leo does his best to tell him what happened, they don’t have enough puzzle pieces between them to truly figure out what's going on.

They defeat the bad guys, release the cryptids, save the day, etc. (Leatherhead managed to lose Donnie and Mikey in the woods. A battle for another day.) Once they return to the lair, HR gets help from Draxum to modify the memory spell from “E-Turtle Sunshine” so he can try to fill in the gaps. Surely he wouldn’t get rejected by his own subconscious... right?

Cue part three in the saga of Raph Punches Himself In The Face. SR isn’t happy that HR is essentially trying to poke at an improperly-healed wound, and attempts to chase him off. HR assumes that SR is just a psychic white blood cell like the Lou Jitsu constructs in Splinter’s mind, and retaliates.

But, of course, fighting is not the answer here. All that accomplishes is giving the body bruises. Eventually HR realizes “stay away” and “back off” are a little different than “get out”, and that SR is just scared. So HR tries another tactic. Over the following days and weeks, he tunes in to calmer memories and just sort of... talks. About what happened yesterday, about his teddy bear collection, about how he finally managed to get a good picture of that pizza pigeon. It takes a while to establish a connection, and even then, it’s spotty at best. Using the spell too much can cause headaches and nightmares. There are days when SR is nearby, and days when he’s not there at all. But he shows up when he can.

And then there’s awkward, stilted conversation and questions neither of them know how to answer and questions neither of them want to answer and more scrapes and bruises and strained silences and apologies, but they finally, finally reach a compromise. SR still doesn’t let HR near those memories, but he tells HR what happened as best he can. (The audience would see those memories, with SR as a voiceover.) Afterwards, HR still visits the mindscape that’s starting to become more solid. They talk some more, they watch light and shadow flow around them, they listen to half-forgotten lullabies on scratchy old cassette tapes. Eventually, HR doesn’t even need to use the memory spell, meditation is enough.

They’ll never get along all the time. But it’s a start.

(SR is going to be so clingy when it finally clicks for him when he finally lets himself believe that his family is alive.)

---

This took eight million years lmao. Parts 2 and 3 will come out eventually, they’ll focus more on MR and RR. Let me know if I need to tag this stuff as anything.

The usual disclaimer applies, I am not a system or a mental health professional so if you’re one or both of those things then feel free to give me some of that good good constructive criticism.

[patchies]

Shadows

Pairing: Dream x Reader x ???

Summary: An apocalyptic world where creatures of the night roam all around it. Searching for living beings to satisfy their hunger. Vicious creatures they are. It’s said that one person called upon their wrath in revenge. You awake in this place with another human being at your side. No memories whatsoever of the life you’ve had prior to coming here. In search of a way out, and your memories, you stumble upon multiple people with many personalities. Some can’t wait to meet you. If you take it the friendly or hostile way is up to you, but worry not... Nothing can hurt you. Or can it, now?

Warnings: none

Word Count: 2.1+k

Author’s Note: Basically, all this chapter contains is scavenging and conversations. I hope you’ll enjoy!

Wattpad link: here

story masterlist - main masterlist

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Chapter 2: Introduction

After you had deemed leaking your information safe, the both of you spoke most of the night away in whispers. With the exception when a rustle was heard from the outside, worried it's another creature ready to attack. That is until you deemed it important to catch wink of sleep.

You're the first to wake up to Nick loudly snoring. One glance at the window lets you know the sun is brightly shining. The rays softly hit your face and you watch as the small particles dance in the gleams of light. There are no curtains in this particular room, proving it to be quite early. Eight in the morning seems to be an adequate time to wake up by your guess.

You look over his resting body and whack Nick in the head, which prompts him to wake up with a jolt. Frantically looking around for the source of his pain until his eyes connect with yours with burning annoyance, “Are you insane?!”

His exclamation is loud. Very loudly in fact, and that prompts you to slap a hand against his mouth to quiet his yells, “Are you insane? We don't know if the creature is still out there or if there are more of them! Have you seen what it looks like and what it can do?”

The whisper is firm and harsh, sure of the fact he hasn't seen it. The image from the night before makes you shiver. It's sinking sharp teeth showing up, which makes you shake your head to get rid of the image. A dead Shadow is certainly not on your to-do list, but you have an inkling it'll eventually come to that if you like it or not. An inevitable decision will have to be made for your survival in this place.

He apologetically looks into my eyes and his puppy eyes cause my hand to lower… Not before delivering a sharp punch to his arm. Nick whines out and clutches his injured arm.

“I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking and to be truthful, you made me yell at you,” he shakes his head at me with a mocking smile. Your face showcases an unidentifiable emotion and that makes Nick nervous.

“I can make you yell more,” you start tauntingly, “after I serve you as a main meal to that Shadow.”

“Stop! Why would you make your friend a meal for the– “he thinks back to what you referred to it as,”– Shadow?”

“Yes, I think it suits the appearance of whatever it is,” you reply back with a slight laugh, “And to answer your question. I'm pretty sure your annoying ass would taste delicious for the creature.”

Your mood has started to increase little by little after having someone at your side who's fighting for the same as you. Hope was lit up in you at the thought of an ally after you had talked through the abyss yesterday. Engrossed in getting to know each other and making your goals clear before you get into any alliance with someone.

Nick just laughs along with you, slapping his knee as if you told a great joke. Yet you didn't. At least it doesn't look that way to you. Sure, you laughed, but it's not that funny, come on…

“So, you think my ass tastes delicious?” He suggestively wiggles his eyebrows.

“Oh,” you devilishly smirk at him, “I'm sure it does, but not to humans.”

• • •

After both of your morning routines that consist barely of any proper hygienic setting, you both deem it important to stretch and even decide to venture outside. You've both settled on finding a new base and spoke about it during the night. Possibly a sturdier and a stronger house that can be easily fortified. First, you'll have to find something like that and then go scavenging for some planks, nails, and food, though. That is if there aren't planks and nails in the newfound house already.

Later, you find yourself wandering around the neighbourhood. You haven't stumbled across any Shadows, yet, which you are extremely thankful for. It seems they just vanish during the day and reappear during the night. It's just a theory of yours, though. Nick was against the idea at first, but after being out for more than an hour, he begrudgingly agreed with you. Finding it useless to argue with you anymore on who's theory is the right one.

You wander around the neighbourhood while chatting about some stupid things.

“Do you think that house would be good?” You point towards a two-story house that looks to be enough for plenty of people. There's still a sign stating, ‘For Sale’.

“Abandoned and looking good?” He happily questions, “Hell yes, we're taking this!”

“Well– you technically cannot take a house just out of blue or at all,” you sigh.

“Shut up! Are you objecting? It's not like we know if there are any other people except for us. We could be stranded here alone,” he states sadly.

The sad look on his face only lasts a couple seconds before he breaks into a big grin and takes you by the hand. Tugging on your joined hands and almost sending you tumbling to the ground face first if it weren't for you catching your stability in time. You're seriously surprised by his strength when he's happy for something. You just shake your head at that and start to follow him willingly. Though, you're still on high alert for any possible dangers. Nick doesn't show any reluctance to going straight to the house, so at least one person must stay on guard.

As your feet carry you across the chalky pavement with ease you wonder what happened to this world. The buildings don't look to be in the best shape and the streets are presumably swarmed with Shadows at night. Some lampposts look to be broken and rusty, flowers envelop them in a conspicuous design and lie on the ground, while the rest don't even seem to be working anymore. At least not on this avenue. The grass and flowers overgrow the buildings and concrete. Nature visibly winning against human inventions.  Houses are sprayed with different slogans that you presume were left behind by people that are long deceased. The most appealing and provoking to you is, ‘Blood for the Blood God’ and ‘We have some unfinished business, green boy. I hope you're ready’.

Who left them here and what do they exactly mean? There are a few ideas of their meaning swarming your head, but you know better than anything to presume certain things. Some are better to not be answered at all either way. Are the people who made them still alive or long gone? Do they turn into Shadows? What are Shadows even made of and how can you kill them? Can you kill them?

I unfortunately can't answer you, Reader. You'll understand later. Or will you be left with no clue up until the end?

You're already through the doorway when your thoughts fade to dust. Nick has decided to wander off on his own and search the house for any possible materials or food and water, so you set to do the same. It honestly isn't as huge as you thought it would be. Nevertheless, there's still enough for the both of you.

You roam the lower floor while Nick makes sure to scavenge the upper. Therefore, you scout the living room first. There, you can see ruined wine cabinets, a completely scratched sofa, a dismantled bookshelf, shattered vases, broken chairs, and side tables. The mess is accompanied by pieces of glass and clay. You thank the stars for wearing shoes. Your feet would've been pierced by so many sharp shards if it weren't for them and you don't think you'd even have enough medical supplies to assist your wounds. Not like you'd voluntarily step on them, but having this cluster of broken glass right here can prove disadvantageous in the future.

The planks from the wine cabinets and bookshelf can be used for boarding up the windows. Thankfully, those look to be still intact. You can't use the sofa for sleeping, therefore the only usage is barricading the door. If you can even move it all the way to the front door. The chairs' legs can serve as temporary weapon parts along with the glass if you're successful in finding tape. If not, attaching some nails to them with a plank should suffice.

After you make sure you've searched everything, every nook and cranny of the living room, you walk to the kitchen to find a relatively clean place. From the looks of it, you're pretty sure the stove isn't working. The cabinets hanging off of the wall contain some stale chips and chocolate and that fact presses you to leave it as a last resort. You move onto the lower cabinets, only to come face to face with no food, but they hold some remains of tape and scissors. Nothing edible or drinkable. You then try turning the faucet on, but no water comes out. A disappointed sigh leaves you and you move onto checking the last place: the bathroom.

Upon closer inspection, you're able to deduce there's just bunch of pills way past the expiration date and you can't even tell what type of pills they are since the packaging and label is gone. The toilet and shower are meaningless. Well– not completely. You can still use the toilet to satisfy your needs. It doesn't sound appealing, but it'll have to do if anything.

“What have you found?”

That question causes you to slam your head against the cabinet under the sink you've been rummaging through and you have to take a second to recollect your thoughts and rub the pain away. You send Nick a glare, to which he just replies with a wink. Closing the doors, you stand up and adjust your clothes.

“I've found some planks, chair legs, nails, glass and clay. The sofa is unfortunately fruitless for sleeping, but we can still use it for barricading the front door. I can explain the usages of the former to you later,” you both exit the bathroom, but you continue with your dialogue, “I also spotted some pills, which are out of expiration, so I would be against swallowing any of them. They might not hurt you, but they might as well be like swallowing a pill with no effect. There's some chips and chocolate. Both stale, so our last resort. Water doesn't work either. What have you found up there?”

“I haven't found much,” he scratches his head, eyeing the brown satchel hanging at his side. You throw him a suspicious look about the accessory hanging at his hip, but don't mention it in hopes he'll enclose more information regarding it.

“I gave you a full report of what we have in inventory and you give me just one sentence that contains no information whatsoever?” you shake your head in disbelief, turning the corner and stopping in the middle of the kitchen.

“No! I was getting ready to tell you everything,” Nick argues with you, but you won't let him slip so easily. A teasing gleam shining in your eyes that he doesn't like in the slightest.

“Oh, yeah? I hear no words coming from your mouth, except for bullshit.”

“Let me speak, for fuck's sake,” he grumbles, which you just reply with a wave of your hand, “We have a pretty soft bed up there that has enough space for the both of us, but if you're not comfortable being in one bed I can always take the floor. Courtesy and all that crap, but I wouldn't be against sharing the bed with you. Anyways, there are plenty of planks from demolished furniture, small number of nails and a hammer. I also found some arrows, but there is no bow, so we can just use them for stabbing people's eyeballs.”

You hop up onto the kitchen island, kicking your feet in boredom. Quietly apologising when you kick his thigh by accident from the proximity, “And you told me you haven't found much… Anything else worth mentioning?”

“No. There isn't anything important on the second floor that I'm aware of. Save for the stuff I already told you about.”

“If I discover something valuable, I'll use those arrows to stab your eyeballs. Mark my words, mister.”

“Aye, aye, captain,” he salutes me, and you reach over to flick him in the forehead.

“So, can we agree on using this house as our safe place and base?”

“For sure,” he rolls his eyes at the seemingly stupid question. “Do we have any other choice?”

Though, what you aren't aware of, there's a hooded figure spying on your progress and conversation from across your building. A crossbow on their back, loaded with a poisoned arrow. They hold an uncertain smile, wonder and worry flashing through their eyes at the same time. Though, their expression turns stoic afterwards, quietly slipping further into the dark night.

[levi-ish]

Little Talks | 5

Pairing: Bartender!Levi X Reader

Genre: [+18] Slice of life, drama, romance, fluff, smut

Words: 5k

Warnings: Alcohol, cheating mentions, drugs, cussing

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5

Masterlist

“Your taste in tea is shit” Levi scanned through the old teabags you had lingering in your cabinets.

“Sorry if I don’t have enough money to buy those fancy blends you like” you rolled your eyes as you leaned further into the throw pillows you had on top of your old couch.

“Tch.”

You turned around and watched the man tumble around with your mugs and you knew that he hated your unmatching sets, always making small comments about them. He then set for the most common ones you had and brought them to you after quickly making your drinks.

It had been a few weeks since the night when Levi comforted you after your ex-beloved’s visit. You two held hands and pretended that it was nothing while watching random cooking shows, then after you fell asleep he left but not before making you another cup of tea that you woke up to find inside your microwave, sitting there waiting for you.

You thanked him in person two days after and exchanged numbers because he claimed that he didn’t ‘trust’ your building’s security. Even when you told him that Zeke only got up because your concierge knew him.

But now things were better than you could expect. Levi would drive you home almost every night and wait for your ‘ok’ text when you took the elevator, to be sure you were safe and sound. He mostly made you tea at 4AM when the bar was closing and you had no classes the day after, and you two hung around at your apartment quite a lot, watching shitty movies and listening to him complain about how you were doing your laundry all wrong.

Whoever saw you two together would think you were a couple of elderlies married.

“I can’t believe he didn’t like how she plated it” you pointed at the TV, quite angry at the cooking show passing on. “She even put those fancy herbs.”

“It’s shit”

“Everything is ‘shit’ to you” you rolled your eyes.

“Only the things that are shit” Levi replied as he sipped on his tea.

You rolled eyes once more as you felt the shift on the sofa, not noticing his movements if it weren’t for it. Levi held his phone to his eyes and a sheer of light illuminated his strong features, highlighting that glorious jawline and the thin lips you—

What?

Shaking your head, you quickly got rid of those thoughts, adjusting your own position and making your back fall more comfortably on the cushions. Levi let a small sigh and brought the teacup back to his mouth, drinking slowly.

“Hange again?” You asked, giving him the side of your eye as you stirred your own drink.

“Kirstein this time” Levi replied, letting out his signature ‘tch’. “I should’ve been there. Those idiots can’t do their jobs properly without supervision.”

“Hange forcing people to listen to their theories again?”

“No. Jean broke the sink and is trying to blame it on the weather somehow.”

“How…”

“No fucking idea.” Levi put his phone back inside his pocket and drank the last of his tea, sighing after. It was a heavenly vision to see, you weren’t gonna lie.

With a small yawn, you stretched your legs and downed the tea in one gulp, earning a side eye from the man who wasn’t pleased you were appreciating one of his fancy blends. The minty taste lingered on your tongue as you licked your lips, and you could smell the hint of cinnamon wandering in the room, mixing with Levi’s cologne that you so much adored.

“I’m bored” you let out, pouting as you rested your face on the pillow closer to his shoulder.

“You wouldn’t be if you stayed quiet and watched the show.”

“Do you hate me or what” you scoffed, pouting even more.

Levi turned to you, watching your expression and that’s when you noticed how close you were to him. His breath fanned over your face and you swore you could see his lips twitching and him inching closer, clearing your throat, you looked down, completely breaking eye contact.

“Do you really wanna know?” He replied and you pushed him. “At least clean your hands before touching me.”

“You wish I was touching you” you bit your lip and rose your brows teasingly.

He turned to your face once more, eyes dead serious focusing on you and he licked his lips slowly, posture completely changing.

“Maybe.”

He caught you off guard with that comment, making a small shiver go down your spine, but you decided that brushing it off would be better than acknowledging new reasons to make the relationship you two had more uncomfortable. You knew Levi wasn’t very pushy about things and probably would forget about it as soon as you would, without giving it another thought.

Oh well.

“Uh…” you tried to say, licking your lips again after your mouth went full dry “… are you hungry?”

“No” he said, eyes still on you as you tried to get his attention away from you.

“Uhm… then do you wanna do something else or…?”

Levi inched closer now, his nose brushing against yours and breath warming your chin as you rubbed skin together, feeling each other scents and every little movement was big enough to make both bodies swarm under the tension in the room.

“Levi… what…”

But before you could continue, he closed the distance, lips colliding as you felt the dry specs of his chapped skin brushing against yours. Is this really happening? What…? It was, and he was still going, hand now holding your nape to have your face closer to his than before, as if he never wanted to let go. You turned to the side to allow his tongue inside, feeling it dancing with yours in a difficult and shy but intense tango that seemed too familiar but strange at the same time.

It was a sensation you never wanted to end.

But as soon as it started, it stopped; his hand left your neck and went back to his side, and his usually unfazed look now seemed more panicked, as if he was already regretting it.

Please, god, don’t regret it. Please…

 “I—”

You were abruptly cut off by him standing from the couch and grabbing his coat by the rack, quickly opening the door and leaving your apartment, leaving you by yourself and with empty lips but a full heart that felt too heavy for your shallow chest.

Things changed since that.

Levi completely disappeared. Hange and Jean would say that he would leave the key to them and only showed up in the mornings to rearrange things the way he liked them but left very quickly each time. He didn’t text and you didn’t try to, knowing it would be useless since we are talking about him, most emotionally unavailable person to exist. You still went to the bar every night, trying to catch him around and maybe clear things up, but failed miserably.

You didn’t regret it, not at all. In fact, you wished it would last longer, even though it was enough material for your mind to wander around the floor full of eggshells that were your memories from that night. You wanted more, you wanted him, and now you weren’t ashamed of admitting it to yourself.

And you were almost giving up seeing him again, if it weren’t for Sasha, who was livid over how he had reacted and insisted on dragging you back to the bar.

So there you were, Mikasa holding one of your arms and Sasha holding the other, both giving you pep talks on how you should go there and confront him. You knew he was working tonight for sure, that’s because Mikasa told you she’d texted him about it before and learned he was taking some weird shifts and closing on weirder times. Annie was busy with her two-year anniversary with Armin, so she couldn’t come, but she did text you to be brave. The way Annie would, I mean, sending a small “punch him” and a smiley face.

“C’mon (y/n), you look hot and he will regret leaving when you show up” Sasha’s grip on your arm tightened as she tried to drag you inside. “Tell her, Mikasa”

“You look hot” the other woman said, and you knew that she wasn’t putting much effort in because it made you uncomfortable, otherwise you’d have been inside already since Mikasa was stronger than you two combined. “Levi’s an idiot.”

“I don’t wanna go” you said, whining as they let go of you for a moment. “He did what he did and I was pretty much rejected. I don’t wanna push harder.”

“What’s even his problem?!” Sasha crossed her arms, her expression turning into a mad one. “Was he always an idiot, Mikasa?”

“He changed a lot since he was left at the altar.”

“What” you and Sasha said in unison, shocked by the new piece of information.

“Did I never mention it?”

“No?” You frowned, coming closer to her face. “What do you mean by ‘left at the altar’?”

“Exactly that.”

“Mikasa” Sasha pushed her lightly.

“I don’t know exactly, I was 15, but he was getting married to this girl and she left him the day of the wedding.” Mikasa said as if it was nothing. “Everyone was there to see, and he was devastated.”

That left you wondering… a lot. Why’d Levi never tell you about that? You two went into some deep discussions at times, talking about stuff that you never dared to share with others, and he did open up a little about some of his things, but this? You thought that would be something to tell someone you would think of kissing. Unless he wasn’t really thinking those things about you, then it would be a whole other topic that you were too much of a coward to consider.

Did anyone else know? You had so many questions and you really wish you had the answers because of the anxiety now growing in the pit of your stomach.

“You didn’t think that was important information to share?” You questioned and Mikasa shook her head.

“Not really.”

“Okay, we are getting in. You can deal with that later” Sasha pushed you through the door and now you couldn’t say anything else because your feet already touched the wooden floor.

It was a full house, everyone was dancing and singing along with the old jukebox and there were girls leaning on the counter flirting with Jean as your eyes wandered. Hange was mixing drinks and Levi was nowhere to see, what made you feel a lot more comfortable being there. Sasha and Mikasa pushed through the crowd and found you a place on the counter, sitting on stools and leaving you to sit in between them, so you did, and the blonde bartender was the first one to notice you there.

“Ah!” He chirped loudly, leaving the girls behind to come to you. “My favorite girl… and company, hi, hello.”

You noticed he was now flirting with Mikasa, but she just ignored his presence.

“Hot wings!” Sasha punched the counter and grabbed you by side shoulder, pointing at the shelves. “And shots, keep them coming, my friend here needs them.”

“I’m sure she does” Jean kept his gaze on Mikasa, trying to be subtle about it as you rolled your eyes at him. “Our short friend has been pretty hard to deal with lately, so without you around I already knew something went down.”

“They kissed” Mikasa let out.

“ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT LEVI?” Screamed Hange from where they were, coming right away and pushing Jean with their hip. “Also, hi, but answer me!”

“They kissed” Mikasa repeated, and you gave up on trying to stop them.

Hange’s hand fell on your shoulder as they approached the group further, inserting the ponytail-head in the middle and readjusting the glasses above their nose, “You and shorty? Are you kidding me?! Tell me everything!”

“I’ll leave you to deal with Hange now” Jean said as they leaned a little more into Mikasa’s side. “So… are you in college?”

She only gave him a side glance and ignored his question, making the man confused.

“Focus!” Hange slammed their fist, now sitting on your side. “You have to tell me about it!”

“Oh gosh, please let me breath!” You rose your hands and they all moved their attention to you, making you feel a little overwhelmed and guilty — they were simply curious creatures. A deep sigh left your mouth as you put your palms back on the wooden surface of the table, opening your eyes slowly. “We kissed… and he left.”

“Without saying anything?” Jean asked and you nodded. “Damn… he ghosted you.”

“He might just be too busy?” Hange suggested and you gave them the harsh glare. “Maybe not?”

“Can anyone bring me—us some wings?” Sasha pleaded, leaning onto the table.

“You two need to talk” Hange added, bumping onto you jokingly. “Kiss and make up.”

“That’s not happening.”

“C’mon, he’s in the back. I’m sure he’ll be happy to see you.”

You just lowered your head and that was enough for them to understand.

“Well, I’ll leave you be” they just gave you a slight nod and stood from the booth. “Good luck.”

You felt some warmth crawl into your belly and smiled at them, following by another glance onto the other two in front of you.

“Mikasa is such an exotic name, where did it come from?” Jean leaned further, trying his best to sound smooth but the girl’s reaction was too bothered to be working.

“We’ll leave you be” Hange said as they grabbed Jean by the nape and dragged him back to the bar.

   Sasha was on her third plate of hot wings when caught the first glance of Levi.

He came from the back for a moment to grab the electric kettle from under the counter, turning around quickly as if he already knew you were around and was avoiding any type of contact. Being treated like a disease like that made you feel angry, it wasn’t like you’d done anything wrong, you just kissed him back — he was the one to initiate it! The nerve of him.

You gulped down the rest of your beer and threw yourself back on the cushions of the booth, earning a look from Mikasa, but she decided to ignore it knowing you were procrastinating the inevitable, now focusing on Sasha who was unbuttoning her pants to eat more.

“Hey, you’re (y/n), right?” Someone approached your table, hands filling the pockets of their letterman jacket and blonde hair neatly sitting on top of his head. A thin goatee painted his chin and a gentle look sat around his clear eyes.

“Yea” you shook your head, looking at his face, frowning slightly. “Sorry, I—”

“It’s fine, we have Latin together” you now recognized him as the boy who sat in front of you and occasionally borrowed a pen.

“Oh! Reiner, right? You want some hot wings?” Sasha was not pleased you offered, but you just ignored her growl.

“No, I’m fine, just came to say ‘hi’” he gave you a small smile. “See you around.”

You reciprocated the smile and watched as he left, and your eyes collided with cold, grey ones across the room, behind the wooden counter as you felt your heart rush again, as if it was the first time once more. Levi had his muscular arms crossed as he stared right into your soul, making cold chills run all over your spine, holding your body to make it stop.

He turned around to leave and as if a lightning had just struck in you, your body involuntarily stood from its place and rushed to the counter, running around it and pushing the backdoor open, revealing an annoyed short man holding a cup of tea.

“What the f—”

And before he could even complete his thoughts, you grabbed the cup and placed it on the table right next to you, all that before pining him roughly against the wall, staring quickly into his eyes, searching for the same flame you could see inside you now burning around grey specs. A small smile grew on your lips and you kissed him hard.

He hesitated though, leaning back quickly as if something had snapped in his mind, making him realize what was really happening there. But before you could react again, he turned you around, pining your hands above your head as he kissed you feverously, the other hand feeling the skin of your hips from under your shirt, making the chills go harder around your bloodstream.

Levi moved positions once more, taking the back of your thighs and sitting you on top of the same table, making the teacup fall to the floor, but he seemed unbothered by it. His tongue now made advances on your mouth, playing with yours in soft movements even when his own lips made harsh movements, combining everything like sugar and cinnamon, and the pine scent of his cologne invaded your clothes that were now too hot for your needy skin.

His hands clenched around the fat of your legs, holding it as if his life depended on it and he started to lower his lips to your neck, giving it open-mouthed kisses that made a small moan fall from your throat. Ashamed, you didn’t realize that your grip on his shoulders was a little too hard and he put a hand from under your chin, holding your face as he stared deeply into your soul. A satisfied scoff fell from his own plump lips and he came back to what he was doing.

That was somewhat a dream, something you had fantasized about too many times to count, and now that it was happening, you refused to pinch yourself in fear of waking up alone. But when his slim fingers rose your skirt to your hips, things felt too real for it to be just your mind playing tricks. Small whimpers escaped your mouth as Levi decided to explore around your navel, playing softly with the hem of the lacy panties you were wearing, and you thanked whatever god was up there for not wearing those comfortable ones you almost wore tonight.

He removed your panties and lowered himself now, a small breath fanned over your naked parts, making you shiver slightly, only to be held still by his own hands. He gave you a small glance before you nodded in consent, and it was all it took for him to devour you in the most amazing ways you had never experienced before.

Levi had experience — you could tell — and the passion he exhaled was enough for you to moan without caring about anything in the world. His fingers joined his tongue and played with your entrance, teasing slowly as his mouth did wonders around your sensitive bud, movements going from harsh hands to slow kisses that left you whimpering, needing everything, anything more from him, legs hooping around his shoulders while trying to make him come closer to your heat.

You whimpered, moaned, cried under his spell, and everything felt 1000x more sensitive against his touch. His fingers entered you and played around all the right places, hitting every beat to the song that played muffled inside the bar, making a small giggle fall from you and he noticed it, now fastening his pace as if he wanted to go back to shutting you up with his own mouth.

Repeatedly he hit your most sensitive spot, licking, and tasting all he could as he did his best to make you cum. It didn’t take long for you to feel the heat pooling around your stomach, throwing your head backwards and fisting his hair between your fingers as you felt his rush against your orgasm, taking everything from you simply with his mouth. You moaned loudly as you rode his face quickly, hips moving without your consent and he pulled your lips apart to clean the remnants of your pleasure, not leaving one spot untouched.

Your chest heaved from the rush as your eyes made contact with grey seas that now leveled with your height, watching you under spells of lust while he sucked slowly from his fingers, tasting every last bit of you, like you were mead for his tastebuds, and you could swear you saw his lips curl a little upwards.

“You surely know how to make a mess” he noted, a ‘tch’ leaving his mouth.

--

TAGLIST

@zeickv @thirstyforsometea​​

[oneofyatosfollowers]

Yatori Week 2021- Day 6

@yatoriweek2021

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/32090953/chapters/79500055

Fanfiction: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13905660/1/Yatori-Week-2021

There were many reasons Hiyori and Yukine had been upset with Yato keeping his secrets. 

For one, they were dangerous to both him and the rest. Another was trust. That was something that bothered Yukine more than Hiyori; after all, she understood the many reasons why Yato didn’t tell them and she couldn’t blame him for it. But the reason that most upset Hiyori, was one that she had to face after he first disappeared.

Hiyori didn’t know Yato at all.

She knew nothing about him, couldn’t even take a guess as to where he would go. No favorite restaurant or bar, no other friends, no relaxing hobbies. And while there was once a time that wouldn’t have bothered Hiyori, that was no longer the case. Especially now, when they risked their lives for each other over and over.

Of course now, she knew more about him than anyone did. Yukine knew a lot but there were still aspects of Yato he didn’t understand yet. Yato had told them most of the important stuff, confirming or denying any questions or theories they had. But even so, Hiyori was just a speck. Just a sudden, minuscule existence in the grand scheme of the centuries of a god's life. Whether or not Yukine liked to think otherwise, there was no possible way for Yato to tell them about all his experiences in the one year he knew them. Considering they had trusted each other for less than that.

Unfortunately that didn’t change the fact that all those pieces, big and small, were a part of him. Parts that they-she- didn’t know. Yato was full of surprises and even though that was usually fun to experience, the distance between them didn’t become more apparent until right now. With Father being locked away in heaven, stuck in an immortal existence to keep Yato alive, the heavens ultimately proclaimed him dead in every other sense of the word. As such, his children were left in an odd sort of limbo between mourning and dealing with the aftermath of his punishment.

Since Nora was rightfully struggling with the adjustment, even though she had been living at Kofukus for the past couple months, most of the actual work had been left to Yato. He attended meetings in heaven, completed any paperwork, rounded up all the masks that escaped. He also located all of The Crafter’s storage houses, living spaces, and any other place he kept things for him or the masks. Heaven took care of most of it, preferring to keep his children away and out of suspicion; but Ameterasu left the fate of the main house to Yato. Out of either pity or consideration.

Originally, Yato and Nora were content to simply burn the estate house to the ground with all the contents and beasts inside. But Hiyori and the rest convinced them to at least look through it, saying it was okay to take the time instead of just cutting it off. In hindsight maybe the two didn’t want to go back to such a traumatic place (and maybe the others were just curious) but Hiyori could tell Yato had some longing to go there, safely. He and Nora had argued against anyone else going, even her and Yukine, but that opinion was ultimately swayed too. It was easier to do that nowadays, Yato wasn’t as stubborn as he used to be. Still bogged down by guilt of all kinds. But everyone promised the both of them they wouldn’t do or touch anything without permission and Yukine insisted on staying by Yato’s side.

That didn’t stop their jaws from dropping as they followed The Crafter’s children south along the coast and far up into the mountains. Yato and Nora decided to walk there, out of habit, and the rest had no choice but to do the same. An old stone staircase led from a small back road up into the trees. After about another mile, they met a driveway and a large bamboo fence. It was old, but clearly still used and well maintained. The height wasn’t anything extravagant- Hiyori knew she was the only one that couldn’t leap over it- but the large chains that crossed over the entrance warded others to stay away.

They waited patiently for Nora to unlock it before the doors swung open and they were met with a beautiful front yard and house. It wasn’t extravagant by any means but the yard was well kept with hydrangea bushes lining the fence and white pebbles accenting most of the plants and house. The house itself was rather grand. Far too nice for someone like Yato but everyone had the sense not to comment on it. The estate was very old fashioned, a traditional Japanese style with two floors and probably an attic. The white building had long hallways sticking off either side and thin wooden slats covering all the windows. They were the same dark wood as the naked support beams around the outside of the house and matched nicely with the dark pointed roof.

In fact the only “crafter” thing about the house was the handful of masks that slept in the front yard. Three of them looked like large deer, that raised their heads at the intruders but did nothing more. Some smaller ones skittered under the porch while two wolves dashed out to see the new guests, happy to finally see members of the family. With one nod from Yato and Nora, Bishamon dispelled these rather peaceful creatures. Hiyori didn’t try to think about it too much.

Nora unlocked the front door, sliding the wooden door open and letting the group into the mud room. For a moment everyone stood, unsure if they were supposed to take off their shoes, but when neither of The Crafter’s children did, they didn’t either. Down the hall to the left was the living room, straight ahead was the hallway and kitchen, and to the right were stairs to go up. Wordlessly, everyone separated and got to work. Since Yukine stayed with Yato, following him to the back of the house and down the right hallway to The Crafter’s workspace, Hiyori stayed with Nora in the kitchen. It was just as old as the rest of the house, mostly running on fire and various stone appliances.

“If you want to go with him, you can,” Nora said suddenly.

“Huh?” Hiyori jolted and dropped the tied trash bag, trying and failing to hide the fact that her thoughts were now upstairs. Nora didn’t say anything more, just leveled Hiyori with a polite but challenging look. Hiyori swallowed and looked down, attempting to hide her blush. There was no point in denying it, everyone in this house knew- and saw- that there was something between them.

“Hey Nora?” Kofuku peaked her head in the kitchen with Daikoku, Bishamon, and Kazuma over her shoulder, “we finished with the left side of the house. Except for Tenjin and Mayu who are still in the library. What else should we do?”

“If you walk straight out the back for a little less than a mile there is a holy spring. In the stream leading to it is a fruit net and laundry. There is also a garage in the back with Father’s sport’s car and Yato’s motorcycle. You can probably get rid of all the tools or something,” Nora said. There was another moment of stunned silence, something that has happened a lot since coming here, but everyone quickly delegated the work and left. Hiyori took a moment to drag the trash bags to the pile set neatly outfront on the porch before coming back. Before Yato agreed to let them come in, even with the promise they would not question or disobey his orders, he laid down several ground rules. One of which was that gods must always travel with their shinki, even from room to room. Apparently there were still masks that hid in the walls as security and Yato wasn’t sure how’d they act without their master. This was also the reason no one was to make any loud noises, or a ton of sudden movements. It was no wonder Yato and Nora were such naturally quiet people.

“I just- I don’t,” Hiyori started. She was cut off by Nora’s sigh as she worked to tape a box of glassware shut.

“Hiyori, I’m fine,” Nora stated, “this is my home. I’m not like Yato where I view this as a scary place, this is where I would go to feel safe and comfortable. It’s sad to see it go but this is hardly the first time we’ve moved. They’re just things.” The girl spoke as simply as ever, lifting the box and setting it atop the others for someone stronger to put in the mover’s truck one of Bishamon’s shinki drove. Ebisu offered to have a yard sale of The Crafter’s belongings after thoroughly cleansing them. He was planning on giving the money to Yato, who offered it to Kofuku, who decided to put it in a savings account for family emergencies.

“I know and that’s great. I just don’t want you to be alone, you know?”

“Then I’ll join Tenjin in Father’s study. We’re just about done here anyway,” Nora stood and wiped her hands on her hips. The cabinets in the kitchen were empty, the oven was cleaned out of wood and charcoal, and the floors were swept clean. Without another word, Hiyori opening and shutting her mouth, Nora left the room like a ghost. A shiver immediately ran up her spine and Hiyori’s fists squeezed. She couldn’t run, afterall she just got her tail fixed but still wasn’t able to leave her body, so there was no reason for her to go antagonizing phantoms. Down the hall and up the stairs Hiyori was stuck between two bedrooms. Fearing the thought of walking into the wrong one, Hiyori waited and listened.

“Isn’t this room bigger than ours?” Yukine said.

“Not quite but almost. I usually shared it with Nora.” Came Yato’s reply.

“All I’m saying is that this isn’t what I expected someone like you to have.” Despite the bratty tone, Hiyori could tell Yukine wasn’t angry. Nor was he blaming his dad. It sounded more like he was trying to have a normal conversation.

“That’s because I don’t. This isn’t my house,” Yato muttered, “and I never wanted any of my shinki to come anywhere near this place. Especially you.” His voice was muffled from behind the door that Hiyori awkwardly faced. She didn’t want to walk in on one of their moments, they needed that, but she wanted to make sure Yato wasn’t pouting.

“I know.” Yukine finally mumbled, dropping the facade he tried to wear. It was more Yato’s thing than his, Yukine could only ever wear his heart on his sleeve. She could sense the tension on the other side of the door and Hiyori knew she had to step in. Besides, she didn’t like having her back to the bedroom of that wretched man. The door slid open and Hiyori readied herself to settle messy emotions only to see Yukine giving Yato an awkward side hug, both of them crouching on the floor. Their heads were pressed together as Yukine rubbed Yato’s back up and down. Suddenly the blonde’s head popped up and looked at her.

“Hiyori,” Yukine said. It took a moment for Yato to raise his head and look over his shoulder. He wasn’t crying, he hardly even looked upset, but he did have that look in his eye. The one where he blamed himself for bringing some sort of misfortune on them.

“Hey ‘yori,” Yato gave her a smile, “Yukine’s being a good kiddo and guide. Makin’ sure I’m doin’ alright.” The two separated as she walked in. She smiled at Yukine’s blush.

“That’s wonderful. I just came up here to see if you needed help. We just finished the kitchen.” Hiyori said as she knelt down. On the far wall were two large closets, the right one Yatos, the left one Noras, above was more storage that they seemed to make little use of save for some awards. In between the two closets was a mirror and vanity with hairbrushes and hair accessories. In front of Yato was a box of kimonos, the closet was open to reveal he had about four left to fold. They were all plain, just various colors of white, black, and blue. There was one green but it seemed barely worn.

“What about Nora?” Yukine asked.

“She went to help Tenjin in the library. Bishamon and Kazuma finished with the music room and basement while Kofuku and Daikoku cleaned out the garage and all the bathrooms. Like you asked, none of us went into his room.” Hiyori relayed.

“Yeah, I think Nora wanted to do that. Leave it for last and all. Of course she’ll need Bishamon or Tenjin with her just to make sure she doesn’t try anything.” Yato muttered as he folded the last of his clothes.

“There’s still the, uh, attic. But other than that everything is done.” Hiyori felt bad reminding the two of Yato’s deeds as a God of Calamity. The ceiling was filled with nothing but boxes of newspaper clippings and requests of those who’ve died by Yato’s sword. Hiyori didn’t want to go in there, yet another forgien aspect of Yato she didn’t want to know. Yukine paused his cleaning as Yato sighed.

“Forget it. There’s definitely nothing in there the heavens or anybody wants. We can just burn it as it is tomorrow,” Yato deadpanned, “unless you want to go look. It’s okay.”

“No,” Yukine said immediately without anger.

“No,” Hiyori said after, “it’s fine.” The room fell into a strange but comfortable silence as Hiyori put all the vanity stuff into a box and sealed it. She looked for something else to clean, knowing there was not much more to be done.

“Are you really going to get rid of all this stuff?” Hiyori asked as she scanned the room. Yato placed his box of clothes in a pile by the widow, stacked atop about five others, two of which had Nora’s name on them. All in all, this room, this house, was rather empty. It seemed Father was the only one with sentimental objects but even then it wasn’t anything that couldn’t be replaced. Save for a couple cringey family photos and mask research, there was nothing worth saving.

“Mm-Hmm,” Yato hummed. He took a moment to gather two boxes in his arms and jump out of the window then back. He fixed her with a smile that stalled her heart for a moment, it was soft but genuine, like the more they cleaned out of this house the clearer his mind became. On the opposite wall, on either side of the door, were swords of all sizes and some certificates. Hiyori got to work there, grabbing one of the flatter boxes.

“Like I said to Yukine, this isn’t my room, not really. There’s nothing here I need,” Yato walked up to her, “besides, I already have everything I want at Kofuku’s.” His smile was telling and Hiyori focused on his lips for longer than she was comfortable with admitting. Yes, her soul was fixed, with the help of a sun god and some magic peaches. But not before receiving a desperate kiss from a close friend who gave her a piece of himself to hold her together until they could get help. Red faced, Hiyori looked away as Yato got to work on the rest of Nora’s white, red, and pink patterned kimonos.

“Are you sure? I mean some of this stuff seems like you should keep it. They're your things.” Hiyori said, almost like a sad plea. In her hands were two very prestigious college degrees, one for art and one for math. Below them was a certificate for japanese calligraphy, an acceptance letter to a professional baseball team, and an invitation to the winter olympic qualifiers. What Hiyori said was true, they were unequivocally Yato’s possessions, things that were so painfully him and no one else's. Yet they were so forgien. Yato the vagrant didn’t keep things. Especially so neat and preserved like this. Nor did he try to do things the right way that involved paperwork.

“Yeah, I mean. They’re just pieces of paper, it’s not like getting rid of them will take away my talents. I hardly look at them anyway.” Yato waved her off. Before she could say anything more, Yato had finished the closets and leaped out the window. With a sigh Hiyori went to the other side of the room and picked up two traditional old swords and a violin, ready to move them towards the window.

“Ah! Ah! Wait!” Yukine scrambled from atop a step stool, “not those!”

“But Yato just said?”

“I know but those, uh, he said I could have those.” Embarrassed, Yukine took the objects from her arms and scuttled them back to the corner. Hiyori crept behind him and scanned the growing pile: two swords, three daggers, a couple of boxes, and a book that looked like a large photo album.

“What’s in those boxes?”

“Stuff from the wars,” Yato suddenly popped up behind her.

“Which ones?” Hiyori blinked.

“They’re kinda mixed,” he shrugged, “mostly metals and grimy uniforms, but the kid really wanted them so. You can take things too if you want. Though I still don’t understand why.” It was a sweet sentiment of Yukine but the concept was still strange. Yato didn’t offer things. Well, he did, but he never actually had the material things he tried to offer and would usually offer services or lip service. Hiyori wasn’t sure he liked this version of Yato. She didn’t hate it- this was part of him after all- but Hiyori couldn’t fit these images in with her picture of him. She worked to process it as the group cleaned out the rest of The Crafter’s house, the building not seeming any less empty.

Bishamon’s shinki started the journey to Ebisu’s shrine while she and Tenjin took the mask materials up to heaven, as ordered by Ameterasu. Nora offered to cook dinner, planning on spending a final night saying goodbye to the house, but Kofuku and Daikoku decided to head into town for food. That left just them, Yato’s immediate family and her. Hiyori didn’t want to spend any more time here than she needed to but she still refused Kofuku’s offer to take her. With Yukine and Nora silently prepping food in the kitchen, Hiyori made her way through the back door where Yato had just finished chopping food. He didn’t look at her as she closed the sliding door and took a seat next to him.

“How are you feeling?” She coaxed, arm already around his shoulders.

“Good,” Yato huffed a sigh, “I mean I’m not happy. Not upset either. Just here,” he shrugged. Then he turned those blue eyes on her.

“How about you? Are you okay?” He asked. That was more like him, to ask how others were feeling when he was the one with the problem.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” She said. His arm wrapped around her waist but before she could turn her blush on him, he buried his nose in her neck.

“It just doesn’t feel real, you know? I know he’s not dead, so it’s not over, but it just feels like it is?” Yato lowered his voice so the kids inside didn’t hear him worry over nothing. Those were reserved for Hiyori, just like her monologues were only for his ears.  

“A new beginning,” Hiyori offered. She felt him smile against her neck and Hiyori’s blush reached it. Out of habit, she held out her hand and let him intertwine their fingers.

“I have a new life now,” Yato mused, “hopefully one without him in it.”

“But with you still here,” Hiyori squeezed her hand for emphasis.

“Haha, yeah. Of course. Me and you and Yukine, with a little less baggage.”

“Yato,” Hiyori sighed with a smile. She didn’t have the heart to tell him that simply cleaning out his father’s house was enough to make the emotional problems go away.

“I know,” Yato murmured. He nuzzled a little bit more, Hiyori waiting to rest her cheeks on his head. She stared at their hands with a soft smile, the feeling just as familiar as it was forgien. Hiyori came to the conclusion that she might not ever truly, fully, know Yato but that it wouldn’t stop her from loving him all the same.

“It’s a little bit of a shame though,” Hiyori said.

“Hmm?”

“Your stuff. This house. It’s almost like a waste.”

“Not a waste,” Yato said, “a new start. One with you in it.” The smile was evident in his voice and Hiyori could feel the steam rise off her face. She would never get used to such blatant flirting, especially when he grinned so charmingly at her from so close.

“But you’re welcome to take something. Something to remember me by.” Yato’s eyes drifted to her lips and back to her drooping eyes.

“You?” Hiyori said without thinking. Just as she leaned in for another precious kiss, Yato bursted out laughing, tips of his ears a bright red.

“As you wish!” Yato exulted. Hiyori was too lost in her embarrassment to look at him, not even when Yukine threw the kitchen door open to yell at his teasing master. There was still something there, something that overshadowed them with forbidding, but with Yato’s comforting laughter ringing throughout her bones, Hiyori knew they would be alright.