#SOMEONE tell me why I am still doing multiple subjects in an image some days. BUT I'M DOIN IT HEY.

[runefactorynonsense]

Cozytober - Day 9 - Hay Ride

[strawberrymilkgeorge]

Part Ten. Faces

warnings: swearing, hate comments word count: 4.1k (not including pics)

behind the screen (irl dream x f!reader) series masterlist ultimate masterlist

A/N: sorry its late!!!! this feels rushed but i was just too excited to get to some parts!!! also i have had some parts written out for SO long that they dont even feel cute to me anymore so im literally praying to every deity rn that you guys think its cute lmao anyway enjoy!!!!

**********

It had been about a week since Karl's slip up but everything was already more normal than Y/n had expected it to be. Of course, George, Sapnap and Quackity were all very understanding and gave her space while simultaneously reassuring her that she was safe with them. She fully believed it too, she knew she was safe with them and they weren't going to tell anyone her name.

The one unusual thing was now she had a heavy guilt, like someone dropped another sandbag in her stomach, every time Dream texted her. If the others knew, it was only fair that she tell him her name too, right? I mean, it's Dream. Dream! The boy who had quickly slipped his way into her life and, though she wouldn't admit it to Karl or Naomi, her heart.

But how? Does she just come right out and say it or wait until it gets brought up? She hadn't practiced telling anyone her name because she wasn't planning on doing it any time soon. Though, maybe she should have been seeing as she was going to see them all in person in a little over a month.

Regardless of the guilt, Y/n had other things to worry about today; Quackity was coming to visit. Karl had picked him up from the airport and the two of them spent all day catching up and doing who knows what but Y/n still hadn't met him. She was scared. She wasn't scared of Quackity, but scared because it was the first time one of her online friends would be able to put a face to her name and voice.

Y/n shuffled across her living room rug and reached for her phone on the coffee table, looking for some sort of distraction while she waited for them to arrive.

-

Y/n rolled her eyes but smiled, shaking her head as she threw her phone on the couch. Okay, he's right. It's gonna be fine. It's gonna be great. It's just Quackity. If he said anything rude or annoying or anything she could literally just step on him like a bug.

A sharp knock on the front door of her apartment snapped her back into reality. She shook her limbs of nervousness as she made her way to the door, two familiar voices begging to be acknowledged from the other side.

"Let us iiinnn!! Y/nnn!!!!" Karl whined.

After countless times asking the same question, she finally convinced Karl that she was okay with him using her real name in front of Quackity. He clearly still felt guilty about telling the boys her name, asking her multiple times in different ways whether he should call her Y/n or Bugsy in front of the guest. She finally got it through his head that she didn't mind either way.

"Hold on!" she yelled back. She unlocked the door and swung it open to see Karl and Quackity. "So impatient."

"Holy shit, you are tall! Goddammit, I thought that was a joke!"

Y/n laughed shyly at the greeting, looking at Quackity like he was crazy. "Hello to you too. Tried to warn you, dude."

"Yeah but, damn! You're tall and attractive, what the hell?"

"Dude," she said with a warning in her voice. She thought the flirting on Twitter was funny, but in real life she got embarrassed easier and wasn't a fan. "I'm about to kick you out of my house before I even let you in."

This was weird, meeting Quackity before meeting some of her other friends. She loved Quackity, but she had known George much longer and Sapnap even before that. There was no problem with meeting Quackity, she just had no idea how to act since she felt like she hardly knew him.

"Am I allowed to tell people that you're hot?" he asked as he fell on her couch, Karl following right after.

"Quackity!" Y/n yelled, her face heating up at a compliment. "Seriously?"

Karl cackled and shoved Quackity. "Shut up, Alex! No, you're not allowed!"

"Sorry, is that compliment reserved for Dream?" He cackled at his own joke and Y/n's face heated up even more.

"I seriously will kick you out of my house."

"You wanna be flirty on main but not in real life?" Quackity scoffed.

"I'm not flirty on main, you are!" she laughed. "Seriously, don't."

"Okay, sorry, I'll stop," Quackity promised with a laugh in his words.

The three of them fell into easy conversation, mostly because Karl and Quackity were already comfortable around each other at this point. They eventually decided to go to the mall, just to mess around and do something.

*reminder: covid doesn't exist in this fic bc we only want happy things so ignore their masks :P*

Y/n frowned as she unlocked her front door, staring at her phone. She had been so happy with all the fans freaking out about the meetup so she looked at the trending list, expecting to see a flood of keyboard smashes and happiness, but that's not all she ended up seeing. BUGKARLITY was trending, so she scrolled through the tweets and was upset to see not all of them were positive. In fact, when she typed her name in the search bar, lots of the tweets using her name were rather mean.

A few that stuck in her head called her an attention whore and said that her friends only flirted with her because she paid them too. Who on earth would even do that? Some hurt way more than others but she tried to push them aside. It wasn't like this was the first time she had seen comments like this, but they had only gotten worse since her Minecraft date with Dream. She was worried it was cause more hate for her friends and the last thing she wanted was to be the cause of their own hate.

She typed several different messages to Dream, deleting them all after she reread them. She felt like she had to request the same thing from him in a different way. Maybe because she felt like his words meant more, even if he really was just joking like the rest of them. She decided to call him instead of texting.

"Hi!" he chirped happily from the other end.

"Hi, Dream," she said as her chest filled with something warm at the sound of his voice. "How are you doing?"

"Good," he dragged out the word. "How are you?"

"Okay."

"Just okay? What's up?"

"Um," she started, immediately forgetting the words she decided she'd use. "I just... would you mind, uh, not flirting with me so much on, like, Twitter and streams and stuff like that?"

There was a silence before Dream's frantically apologetic words came through. "Yes, of course, oh my gosh. I'm so sorry. If I had known I was making you uncomfortable, I wouldn't have—"

"Wait, no," she interrupted but he must not have heard.

"—said things like... oh gosh. Bug, I'm really sorry—"

"Dream!" she raised her voice, getting him to stop ranting. "You don't make me uncomfortable."

"Oh. Really?"

"Of course not. I actually think it's really..." Cute? Adorable? Endearing? "funny," she decided.

"Oh. Then why...?"

She sighed heavily and explained what she told the others. "So, yeah. I just don't want you guys getting hate because of me so I figure if you stop then... you know."

"Bug..." he said gently. "I'm really sorry. I promise you that I don't—none of us think those things about you."

"I know."

"No, seriously," he said, clearly not believing her. "You need to understand that I..." he paused. "I mean what I say. Always."

Always? she thought. There's a few things he's said that certainly he didn't really mean... like calling her cute?

"I don't joke around like that unless I want to. I wouldn't say things like I say to you unless I really, really, genuinely considered you a close friend and felt comfortable around you. And I do."

Her heart swelled. "Thanks, Dream. I just... maybe don't do it so much for right now? Online, at least," she clarified, not wanting to deprive herself completely of Dream's flirting.

"Yeah, if that's what you want, of course."

"Well, I don't want you to stop flirting with me but, yeah."

He chuckled. "Oh, you do like when I flirt with you?"

She hummed and changed the subject. "Did I interrupt you doing anything?"

"No," his teasing voice dropped and was back to his regular self. "I'm just editing the video we filmed the other day."

"Oh, the 'Minecraft, but you can't touch the floor'?" she asked.

"Yeah."

"Oh," she said, not meaning to sound disappointed. "I'll let you get back to it—"

"No. I mean, you can stay on the phone. Unless you're busy."

She smiled and put her phone on speaker and set it next to her foot on the floor. "I was just gonna paint. So I can stay."

Before she knew it, almost two hours had passed of them sitting in comfortable silence, occasionally speaking to share something with the other before going back to their tasks. It was comforting knowing she didn’t need to speak constantly and could just hang out with Dream.

Y/n's phone rested on the floor next to her, Dream on speakerphone on the other end, only the sounds of his keyboard clicking letting her know he hadn't fallen asleep or hung up. She wasn't sure when they started doing this, staying on the phone even when they had nothing to talk about, but they had done it a few times before. They had talked on the phone and Discord many times but it was usually always with purpose, not usually this silently-enjoying-each-others-presence nonsense. Who was she kidding calling it nonsense, she enjoyed it an embarrassingly insane amount.

She repositioned so she was laying on her stomach as she finished sketching an image that was in her mind.

"Hey, you still there?" Dream asked softly.

"Yeah. Sorry, am I taking away from your sitting in silence time with George?" she joked.

Dream chuckled lightly. "Nah, you're more fun. I was just seeing if you ditched me for Karl yet."

"Nah, you're more fun," she mimed truthfully. "But I'm very focused on this drawing."

"Can I see it when you're done?"

"Don't expect too much. It looks bad."

"If you don't tell me what it is, I can't know how accurate or inaccurate it is."

"Very true..." she trailed off, holding the canvas further away to examine it all at once. She wanted the sketch to be perfect before she made permanent choices with paint. She enjoyed the serenity they maintained even when talking, voices low and delicate like they were keeping secrets but not quite whispering. "Are you almost done editing your video from the other day?"

"Sorta. I'm at the part where you and Sapnap almost died laughing because a ghast knocked George into lava and then Sapnap laughed so hard he fell into lava."

She chuckled, remembering the situation vividly. "That was so funny. The way George screams is so funny."

"Let Naomi know that," he mumbled, causing Y/n to gasp.

"Dream!" she laughed loudly and he joined.

"Sorry, sorry, sorry. It's true though."

"Disgusting!"

A distant voice sounded on the other end and she assumed it was Sapnap. "What do you want for dinner?"

Dream responded with a soft, "Nothing, I'm good."

"Are you talking to Bugsy?"

He must have responded physically because the next sound was Sapnap's very clear, much more lively voice speaking directly into the phone. "Hi, Bugsy!"

"Hi, Sapnap!"

"Can you tell Dream to eat some damn food? This man literally hasn't eaten a single thing all goddamn day."

"Dream," Y/n scolded slowly. "Please eat."

"I'm not hungry."

"I'm not showing you my painting until you eat."

A door closed on the other end and she took that as a sign that Sapnap had left.

"I don't wanna see it anyway. It's probably trash."

"Take that back!" she gasped lightly. She looked at the canvas as she grabbed the first paint color and laughed. It was only a sketch and it was already trash. "Fine, then I won't go on the trip if you don't eat in the next ten minutes."

"That's punishing yourself too though."

"Who says I want to see you?" she asked.

"I never said anything about not seeing me being the punishment."

She had been caught. "It was implied."

"Sure it was."

"It's true though. Who says I wanna see your stupid face?"

He didn't say anything, but an incoming FaceTime call lit up Y/n's phone. A FaceTime call from him.

Her smile dropped. "Clay?"

"Answer it," his voice was lower and her heart started beating faster. Was he really about to show her his face to prove a point? Reveal his biggest secret that only a few close friends knew? To her of all people? She made sure she couldn't be seen in the small window and pressed accept, the voice call ending and the FaceTime call starting.

To her surprise, what came into view wasn't his face, but the logo of the hoodie he was wearing, the simple smile of his merch taunting her. She laughed, the anxiety slowly fading away as it was replaced with a heavy feeling in her stomach. Was she disappointed? Maybe a little, but he teased her into believing she would see him.

"Oh, wow! Dream face reveal! He looks just like his icon, no way!!!"

His chest moved up and down as he laughed, not moving the camera away. "You heard it here first, guys! You've known my face all along, the logo is actually my face!"

She laughed and returned to painting, not paying any more attention to her phone since he was now also showing his ceiling, a small corner of his monitor in frame but nothing else. "I mean it though, if you don't eat, I'm going to be so mad I won't even want to be friends anymore. Or you'll die from malnourishment before we get the chance to meet."

"I doubt it. I'm just not hungry."

"Whatever."

"Oh, hey, so you met Quackity today. How was it?"

"Very scary."

"Yeah?" he asked sympathetically, urging her to explain if she wanted.

"Yeah. But it turned out okay! He didn't act any different so it was fine. It was mostly just awkward. He's also so freaking loud. You would not believe how much louder he and Karl get when they're together."

"I can imagine. Aren't they doing a stream right now or something?"

"Yeah, I think so. I don't wanna watch though, I've had enough of them for the month."

Dream laughed. "How will you deal with them together for New Years'? It'll be for like two weeks."

"Who knows if I'll actually go?"

"Wait, what?" he asked abruptly, not even bothering to hide the disappointment in his voice. His keyboard stopped clicking and she could picture him staring at his phone as if looking at her. "Of course you're going."

"Not if you don't eat food! You have, like, 3 minutes to eat something until I officially am busy doing other things whenever the trip is."

Dream groaned and clicked a few things on his computer before the image on the screen became blurry as he walked through the house, still pointing it at the ceiling. She looked away again and kept painting.

"Quackity's really funny though," she continued. "It was super awkward at first but it was fun to have someone else to help me make fun of Karl."

"Wait, Bug," Dream called out over the sound of wrappers crinkling.

"Hm?" She hummed, continuing to paint.

"Bug," his voice was much softer and he sounded nervous.

She looked at her screen and dropped the paintbrush as she focused on what she saw, grabbing her phone and holding it closer to her face so she could see, still making sure she wasn't in view. All the anxiety from the beginning of the FaceTime suddenly came back and hit her like a truck. Sitting on her screen, waiting to be seen, was Dream. His hood was up, tufts of blonde hair sticking out, and he was standing with his back towards a dark room, the dim light from his pantry making his face just visible.

He held up a cookie in front of his actual, real face. "Are you watching?"

"Y-yea... I... Yeah. I'm watching. Is that really you?"

He nodded once before shoving the cookie in his mouth. "There, I consumed food," he announced, his voice muffled by the cookie. "Now you're legally obligated to come."

"I—What? CLAY! WHAT?"

"What?" he asked innocently as he chewed, walking back to his room and still holding the phone up to show his face. His room light was on, making his face much more visible. If Y/n thought he was attractive in the harsh pantry light, he must have looked like a god in his room lighting, even as pixelated as he was due to the quality of FaceTime. He fell on his bed and Y/n could only gape at his features. He slumped against his headboard, surrounded by roughly a thousand pillows, sporting a small, shy smile as he stared at the screen. "Bug, what?"

She opened her mouth but no words came out. Needless to say, he was unbelievably handsome. Part of the speechlessness was from the shock that he showed his face out of the blue, but obviously, the majority of it was that he was pretty much the most attractive person she'd ever seen. It should be illegal for someone to look that good in a hoodie, especially when pixelated.

"Hmm," he hummed thoughtfully. "Wanna take back what you said earlier?" He bit into another cookie.

"W-what did I say earlier?" Why was she stuttering???

"You said you don't wanna see me and that I'm ugly," he teased.

She paused for too many seconds too long before finally muttering, "you arrogant son of a bitch." He laughed loudly at that.

His eyes crinkled and he threw his head back. So that's what he looks like when he wheezes, she thought to herself, pretty.

Dream shuffled his position on his bed and rested his head on one of his hands. He looked so comfy. "Why are you so quiet, weirdo?" he mumbled.

She set her phone back down and touched her cheeks with her hands and looked away for a moment, grounding herself to the real world for a second. She couldn't process her thoughts when she was staring at a man as gorgeous as Clay. "I don't know, maybe because you gave me no warning before showing me your face? Or because you failed to mention that you're incredibly hot?"

She was so glad she had looked back at her phone or else she would have missed the glorious sight of his cheeks turning bright red before he turned the camera back to his ceiling. "Oh my gosh."

"Aw cute, I made you blush."

"Shut up," he mumbled. "You threatened to not come if I didn't eat something!"

"You didn't have to—you showed me your freaking face just to prove you ate a cookie!! DREAM! I would have believed you if you just said you ate something!" she laughed breathlessly, staring at the phone now for a chance to see him again. "I was joking anyway!"

"Sure you were."

"I was."

"Well, oh well. You deserved to see me anyway."

"Oh, I deserve to see you?" She laughed. "How big is your ego?"

"You know what I meant," he groaned. "You got doxxed by Karl and you met Quackity in person. And you've clearly had a bad day because of all the hate and stuff. You've done a lot of stressful things recently and you deserved to be let in on a secret too."

He was so sweet. Like, tooth-rotting, Halloween candy stash hidden under a kid's bed, upset tummy sweet. She also couldn't get over the fact that he was a million times cuter when he was shy like he was being now, his voice soft and unsure. It contrasted vastly with the confident, loud-mouthed Dream everyone usually saw, though she liked that Dream too. She wished he could show his face for just one more second to see what he looked like shy. Probably sickeningly adorable.

This was it, wasn't it? The chance she had been waiting for to tell him her name? He just let her in on his biggest secret, now he was the one deserving to be let in.

"Y/n," she said with a confident, but soft voice.

There was a long pause. "W-what?"

"Y/n."

He understood the second time immediately. "Y/n..." he tested, the smile in his voice clear as day. "I like it."

"Yeah, well, I guess you deserved to know the secret too."

"I would have been content never knowing."

"Really?" She didn't believe him. He seemed like the type to never be satisfied, always looking for something better. Not in a greedy way, but in a motivational, goal-oriented big achiever way.

"Really," he hummed. "I already feel like you're too good to be true so I wouldn't be surprised if you weren't a real person."

It was silent as she tried to collect her thoughts.

"Bug? You okay?"

"Yeah, I... it's just a lot."

"Sorry."

"No, it's not you. Well... I don't know. I just don't know what I'm supposed to say when you say things like that," she admitted.

He paused. "I think you always have the perfect responses when I say things like that."

"What do I usually say?" She smiled shyly, pulling her hoodie up to her lips.

"You usually call me a nerd or say you can't stand me. 'Oh my gosh I cannot stand you'," he mimicked before laughing.

"What? How is that the perfect response to you saying you can't believe I'm real?"

He hummed and she could practically hear him shrugging. "Because it's a classic Bug response. It's a hundred perfect you. So yeah, it's perfect."

She was silent, trying to compose herself before she exploded.

"By the way, check Twitter."

"Why, are you bragging about me calling you hot?" she teased, hoping to make him blush like she had earlier. It worked.

"Oh my gosh, no. Just look."

She clicked her home button and navigated to the app, her feed instantly flooding with the same similar messages.

"Oh, my gosh," she muttered, her fingers flying away as she typed out her own tweet in response to the love.

Dream chuckled from the other end and when she asked him why, he vaguely said that George texted him but didn't explain further.

"Um, I have to go," she said mournfully. "Karl and Quackity are coming over again."

"Booooo," he pouted.

"Sorry, you aren't the only man in my life," she teased before instantly regretting her choice of words. Too flirty, Y/n, she thought to herself.

"Hm, shame. Am I at least at the top of the list?"

She bit her lips, wanting desperately to repeat what she had told him on their Minecraft date. In the end, she gave in. "I always mean what I say too," she started. "You're my main bitch, baby."

Dream made some sort of sound, a mix of a scoff and a whine but Y/n didn't comment on it, just glowing with heat in her cheeks.

"Leave before I don't let you," he said softly and the heat only grew.

"Goodnight, Dream," she pressed, the tone in her voice letting him know he was being a tease. "Thanks for... thanks for your tweet. And for everything you said earlier."

"Of course. Sorry that you have to see those kinds of things a lot."

"It's okay when I have people like you."

"People like me? What does that mean?"

"Just.... people like you." Cute, sweet, kind, genuine people who make her heart flutter.

She could hear his smile in his words and she figured he knew the unspoken words in her thoughts, the ones she was saying without saying. "Okay. Goodnight, Y/n."

"Goodnight."

**********

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[stuckybarton]

Sucker For Pain i

SUMMARY: You were new to the team, but what everyone didn't know was you weren't so new to the God of Mischief. CHARACTERS: Loki Laufeyson x Ex!Reader [Ex to Lovers again?] WARNINGS: Profanities. Suggestive Themes. Slight Angst and horrible self-image. Grammar Mistakes. English not being my first language. [Not Beta’d tho] WORDS: 2,956 CHAPTERS: [1/3] A/N; Life happened and yeah, didn’t have much time to write. Not my best work for this mini-series, but I’m fighting through for this. Hope you guys enjoy~

PART TWO | PART THREE

MASTERLIST || Join the Taglist

"Agent Y/N Y/L/N." You introduced yourself the first moment you were escorted into the compound by Director Nick Fury. Multiple sets of faces both new and old had come to greet you. For a moment you wouldn't even believe that this is was the new life you would find yourself to be a part of from now on.

Years in the job for SHIELD before disappearing off the grid to get as much information about HYDRA, everyone had thought you had betrayed them and you had accepted that they would think so lowly of you after all the near-deaths you had to endure on the job. Even with the mission becoming more of a death wish, you had accepted the role Nick had given you all those years ago and now you were rewarded, immensely. A spot on the Avengers as part of the Earth's Mightiest Heroes.

The familiar face of Nat was the first to greet you with a hug. A fiercely tight one, it had been so long since you've seen a friend. Then your eyes fell towards the rest of the team; Bucky Barnes, who you had a few close encounters with during your time with HYDRA. You had witness everything they had done to him and stood on trail to clean his name. Steve Rogers, who, with Sharon Carter, had assisted in guarding Steve while SHIELD was still under HYDRA's control. But among the familiar faces, one stood out the most.

Loki Laufeyson.

To many, the man was a snake, a God that had once brought death and destruction in New York. But to you, he was different, this was the man that you had spent your lonely nights with while under the guise of a traitor. It had once just been a physically thing between the two of you, neither wanting to know about each other's lives. You knew he was a God, a man that had wronged the world, but he had never known about you, the woman that had painted yourself as a traitor for the better of the world. The one that had been called every name on the book for the sake of making sure you did your part right.

Then it got serious between the two of you. Admission of love was told between both of your lips. But it was dangerous for you two to be together especially when you were already told by Fury that you can come back to the surface. You didn't know what side he was on, and you did not have the heart to make him choose if the time would come.

So you two parted. A month ago. The pain still throbbing you like an unattended bullet hole right through your heart. It was still so painful to look at him and not remember him crumbling on his knees begging you to stay. The first sob that escaped his lips and forever haunted your dreams. A never-ending loop in the back of your head as your demons screamed at you for breaking an already broken man.

"I for one am happy you're finally here. Another woman to add to an already Man's Man world in the compound." Nat teased glancing towards the other individuals that had come to know the new face. "With introductions out of the way, you've got a lot of explaining to do for the past few years."

You could only smile at your friend. You did have so much to explain to her, things had been murky between you and Clint, but after everything, Nat had refused to believe you would betray them, betray her, and it was finally a relief to be able to return back home, seeing the people that mean the most to you.

"Tell me about it." You muttered allowing Nat to quickly pull your away from the crowd, but it missed your eyes how he was still looking. Ice blue eyes a contract to the burning gaze he had towards you.

Forget about him. Forget about him. You were here for a new opportunity. No him. Never him.

For the next few weeks, everyone had grown to accept you in your new role as part of the Avengers. You kept up with Steve, Bucky, and Sam during their runs. Sam more than happy to finally have someone that had the same pace as him, but only for you to laugh and out run him just to get a reaction out of the high flier. Tony and Bruce had also found a kinship in you, having provided them enough information about HYDRA's experiments and location made most of their missions easier. Then there was Nat and Clint, your confidant in this new life. Every single moment that was not dedicated to a mission was spent with them; may it be movie night or a simple get together outside the compound, often times bringing Wanda and Vision along just to mess with you and call you a 5th wheel of the group.

But among number of members on the team, everyone had noticed you constantly avoided one Thor Odinson and one Loki Laufeyson. The only real time you would even dare talk to either of the brothers would be during training--other than that, you tried your best to avoid them, Loki most especially. Every single moment that would force the two of you to be in the same room, Loki had a glare while you tried your best to avoid his gaze.

Everyone noticed, everyone didn't seem to worry too much. It comes with having a former-villain part of the team. They thought you would eventually get used to the God's presence just as much as they did.

"You ever gonna tell me what's going on between you and Loki?" Nat inquired avoiding your punch.

What you hated the most about sparring with Nat was her capability of multitasking. Talking and snooping about someone else's business while also kicking their ass in the process--this was the predicament you were in right in this very moment.

"Nothing is going on." You muttered landing back first on the mat after being thrown like a rag doll by Nat. Eyes looking at the ceiling, you wondered if it was a good idea to actually come clean to her about her past with the God of Mischief. "I know what he's done to New York and I think you can't blame me for taking precaution when it comes to him."

Nat now comes hovering on top of you, the narrowed eyes and gentle smirk was all you needed to know--she knew it was bullshit. But when she had stopped pushing you for more information, it was enough for you to just change the subject.

"They found Dominic?" You inquired. One of the first big missions that everyone was focusing on was one of the leading Scientist for HYDRA. With the exposure of HYDRA to the world, some of them had moved away and found themselves in much shadier company, much to everyone's radar now spiking.

Dominic Wagner was, in part, partially responsible for the Winter Soldier program in the modern era. One of the pioneers in moving the project into a much younger sets of test subjects. You lost contact with the man as soon as your got back into the surface, but it had also meant a target was on your back when they found out you were a double agent.

"He's in Russia. Wasting away all the funding for the program with parties" Nat points out. "Still a better way to spend the money that abducting kids everywhere."

You nodded, memories of files upon files for the prospects still haunted you to this day.

"When are you taking him out?" You inquired. In your time with the SHIELD, the red in both of your ledger had made you two a hot commodity if the situation present itself as shoot to kill. Neither of you would hesitate. You knew you would now, after everything, but if it means one less bad people in this earth, you would swallow your new morals.

"Fury wants him alive." She pointed out finally standing back up to her own two feet, leaving you on your back, staring at the ceiling in deep thought. "I know as much as you do, we want him dead for everything he has done, but we need him alive so we can get the others."

You nodded, this was one of the few things you had to get used to as part of the team. Death was best solution in SHIELD--at least in your team, not here. As long as you were part of Steve's team, you would need to choose whether or not killing would be the best option. Hope that you weren't so blessed to be given in your time under.

"I get a first shot when we don''t have any use of him anymore." You muttered finally standing back up with Nat's help. Steps faltering at the sight of the God of Mischief, training with the likes of Peter Parker, Sam Wilson, and Bucky Barnes. A weird mix up, but wasn't hard to understand why.

"Why don't you shoot your shots with him for now." Nat teased, finally making you break from staring at the plain black shirt and green sweatshort-clad Loki Laufeyson. "If we try to ignore the death count during his attack, he is sort-of your type in men." Nat wiggled her brows. quick to avoid you as you attempted to swat her in the ass, eyes now turned away from God and his training partners.

"By type, you mean psychotic with possible Daddy-issue? Then you might just be right." You snort.

"I'm offended you think of me as such, Darling"

Jerking your head to the owner of the voice, how the hell did he sneak up behind you without you noticing. You glanced at Nat in panic and like the traitor that she was, made a terrible excuse of being needed in Bruce's lab. Now being left in the man's presence, you could all but remember the last time you had been this close to the man.

Heartbreaks.

Words that you didn't mean.

Words that he didn't mean.

It still hurt you, and you were sure it hurts him just as much, if not more now, finally realizing why there had been a need for a breakup between the two of them all those weeks ago.

"Here I thought I would have someone to trust. You mortals continue to disappoint me." He hissed.

Your eyes glanced at the other training trio, noticing all three of them were in their own little world to even noticed what was going on between the two of them.

"Tell me, Darling..." He whispered, head leaning towards the shell of your ears. The familiar shiver run through your skin as just his voice. Memories of the very things his silver tongue had whispered had you flustered and breathless, more than from your earlier training with Nat. "Was it satisfying to play with a God?"

Before you could even mutter a word, his constantly gentle hand now covered your jaw, emitting a squeak from your lips and stopping you from saying a word. He was never this forceful, nor did he do anything that would hurt you. Was this the true nature of the man you had finally thought you have been the best part of you. To have loved a man that everyone was right to stay away from?

"Or is it shame finally coming to you, to be ever involved with someone like me?"

You tried to pry his hand away from you, but he was too strong--stronger than you could ever think of being.

"Or is this you taking your opportunity to move from one bed to another? Who will it be this time, Y/N? My oaf of a brother or will it be Soldier out of time? Who will you whore this time?"

And you finally snapped. With a resounding slap, all three individuals had heard your attack on the man and Loki finally releasing his hold on your jaws. A chuckle escaped his lips and only brought the first line of tears to fall from your eyes. You never wanted to believe him to be a monster, but here he was, proving her wrong.

"I am in doubt of the foundation of our relationship for the past years, Y/N. I am the God of Mischief and Lies and the only mortal I had ever truly opened to had done this to me. Lied to me for such a long time, lied about the entirety of our relationship."

"You will never understand."

"Oh no," he chuckled darkly, eyes glaring straight into your own. "I understand well enough to know, you would never love someone like me and I deserve every lie and heartache I am enduring because of everything I have ever done in my past."

Before you could defend yourself and the genuinity of your relationship with the God, he had made his excuse. Leaving you to ponder of the true damage of your breakup with Loki, and the aftermath it had now held for the both of you. He was right, you had lied, and either way, their relationship will fall apart because of those lies.

He was the God of Mischief and Lies.

Yet, he did not expect for this biggest lie to break him the most. The separation had been painful, he had always hoped for a better life with you. Then a month passed since your breakup, he sees you, it hits him like a sharp knife to the chest all over again. He experience the pain of a stab to the chest, but it would never compare to the pain of seeing you in this very compound with the truth of your life that you refused to ever open to him.

This was karma coming to haunt him it seems.

It had been well over a week now since the first time he had actually confronted you about everything. It wasn't how he planned for things to go through. He never wanted to hurt you, but he was a monster after all. A monster that his own father had told his people to avoid. A bedtime story to scare mischievous kids into submission.

He had always thought after everything he had to endure, had to do, had to escape, he could finally live a peaceful life. A life to finally start anew. A life where he could finally change for the best. A mortal woman had made him make those ideas come into reality, you had always became the reason why he would never have his redemption in life.

A bitter idea with no possible resolution.

How could he have ever believed that anyone would ever love someone like him? After everything he had ever done, he was never allowed to be loved. You had proved that somehow.

'Mr. Laufeyson, you are needed for a meeting with the team'

Breaking from his little bubble. He sighed finally returning back to reality, into the little comforts the library could give him. The week had been gruelling for him, three individual witnessed the altercation between himself and you. It had spread like wildfire, but thanking the Gods that no one was able to listen to the conversation.

He had to endure most of the questioning. In everyone's eyes, he was, after all, still under everyone's constant scrutiny. A man that no one could trust. But he refused to say a single word knowing you did the same thing. It was better to keep your mouth shut instead of letting people know exactly what had happened. Somehow that brought a smile on his face. He might not share a future with you, but might as well make the most out of making your life a living hell, as much you did it to him.

Shutting the book he was barely even reading, he placed the book back into the shelf before walking his way towards the meeting room.

He could easily teleport, but he preferred to enjoy his moments of peace without his oaf of a brother breathing down his neck or Stark constantly testing his patience with his quips. It also gave him a moment to school his features, he knew well enough about the mission to know you would also be in attendance. Be more invested in this mission than anyone else.

It was a few things he was relearning about you now that you were out in the open as everyone claims you to be. You were a free spirited being that could meld with anyone you were in the area with. He had watched you throw relentless jabs at Tony during your first few days that had the man surprisingly raise a white flag. But the most dangerous thing he had to learn was the familial relationship you had with one Natasha Romanoff and Clint Burton, two people that he kept his distance with the most.

"Professor Snape has finally graced us with his presence."

Loki has learned since joining the team to choose his battle when it comes to Tony. This was one of those moment. Finding a vacant chair besides his brother, he had taken his seat. A big mistake on his part as he finds from across the table, you sat. In between a glaring Romanoff and Barton.

Wearing a smirk, just to get on the two super spies' nerve, he turned his attention right back into the meeting. He begins formulating a few little schemes to not only get on the two's nerved, but most especially yours.

[7demonhoes]

The devildom and hell are not the same

I haven’t posted in forever because I was busy dying at school but I’ve finally finished a fic I’ve been working on forever. I decided to break it up into two parts because this is super long, so expect a Part 2!! I am begging you to let me know if you like it 

MC is tired of the demon brothers being secretive and decides to take it into their own hands to figure out just what they’re hiding. 

Word Count: 5016

Warnings: Angst, body horror, gore mentions. The demons act like actual demons. 

All things considered, living in hell has been easier than I expected. 

Sure, I've been threatened and actually murdered by a demon, but in the end, I've come out unscathed. And over the past couple of months, I find myself enjoying the time I spend with the demon brothers more and more. 

I can't complain; it's not like I should be worried about my demon friends not being very… well, demonic, but sometimes I'll bring it up to them and be left with vague answers and quick changes of the subject. I once asked Satan where all of human history got their ideas of Hell and demons in general, but he immediately gave some half-baked excuse of forgetting to do a book report and left me alone before I could finish the sentence. 

Even Beelzebub, who will tell me literally anything as long as I promise him some food, will turn down the opportunity for a snack to answer my questions. 

It's not like I'm surprised. I know that there has to be some parts of their lives that I'm not given privy of, but sometimes it makes me feel almost lonely to know that they have become such a large part of my life while I remain to be a lowly, undistinguished human who doesn't deserve to know whatever they're hiding. 

I could always use my pact with one of them to coax the information out, but I'm afraid of the consequences. Of course I want to know why they won't tell me anything, but my desire to not break their trust is much stronger. 

So I've decided to drop it. But lately, the brothers have been acting strangely. And after what happened yesterday, the desire to know what's going on behind my back is becoming too strong to ignore. 

Lucifer has been in a progressively worse mood for a few days now, snapping at me or his brothers every time we manage to annoy him, no matter how slightly. Yesterday, when Mammon asked if he could use some salt to put on the food Lucifer had prepared, Lucifer's horns practically jumped out of his skull as he stood up and clutched at the back of his chair, glaring at Mammon with glowing, dark eyes. 

Belphie slowly stood up, his usually heavy eyes wide awake as he cautiously made his way over to Lucifer. Careful not to touch him, he stood at Lucifer's side until the enraged demon turned to rest his steely glare on Belphie. Mammon visibly slumped with relief as Belphie stood his ground. 

"Lucifer," Belphie's voice was calm and almost pleading. "This isn't you. You have to go. When do you have time?" 

Lucifer clenched his hands even more tightly on the chair, his grip so strong that the metal underneath his palms groaned as it twisted. "If I had time," Lucifer forced his words out through gritted teeth, "I would have gone by now." 

Belphie narrowed his eyes. Lucifer growled in response. "Come on, Luci. We all promised. Not in front of the human." 

My heart dropped. Was this what they were hiding from me?

Before I could think any longer about the subject, Lucifer's voice drew me back to the conversation. "I can smell their curiosity from here." He grinned, fangs poking at his bottom lip. His smile sent shivers down my spine. "Don't you think they have the right to know?" 

Beside me, Beel stood up and positioned himself so that he was in between me and Lucifer. I looked around the table; Mammon's eyes were glowing just like Lucifer's, his entire body tense. Even Asmo looked ready to pounce, his eyes sliding from Lucifer to me. Levi stood still, his mouth open, hands clenched tightly around the table cloth.

Satan's voice was a warning. "I think you should go cool off in your room, brother." 

Lucifer curled his lip into a snarl. "And I think you should know your place." 

Despite his threatening words, Lucifer slowly let go of the destroyed chair and turned around, striding out of the dining hall and towards his room. 

Even after all of that, the rest of the brothers refused to say anything to me. 

And now, as I sit alone in the common room and play some silly puzzle game on my DDD, I'm startled by the sudden feeling that someone is watching me. 

I take a quick look around the room, which appears to be empty. I look back down at my phone with a shrug and try to ignore the hair raising on the back of my neck. 

It's normal for the brothers to become irritable. Occasionally, and especially when one of the brothers had a very busy week, they become easily angered and will usually burst into their demon form. They'll eventually be calmed down by the rest of the brothers. Somehow, the demons have a way of knowing when to pick a fight with an irritated brother.  

Before, I thought they would sometimes leave the house after one of their episodes to get away from their brothers and be by themselves for a while, but after what Belphie said yesterday… 

Where does Lucifer need to go? And why can't I know about it? 

Not in front of the human. 

Despite the warm fire crackling beside me, I still have to suppress a shiver. 

I want to know where they go and what they do. But the memory of Lucifer's anger keeps popping into my head, coupled with warning bells. If I try to pursue this, it could put me in danger. 

But hey, I live every day surrounded by demons, so what else is new? 

I look up from my DDD with resolve to see Lucifer standing only three feet away from me. I jump, scrambling into a sitting position on the couch. 

Lucifer doesn't move; he stands still like a statue, his eyes trained on me like those of a predator. 

I stare into the pools of black and find nothing but hunger within. 

"Lucifer?" My voice is timid and trembles as it leaves my tongue. The demon stiffens, and for a second I think I'm watching his skin ripple against his flesh. 

But then I blink, and it's still. "Lucifer?" I ask again, my voice slightly steadier this time. 

"Human," his voice is even deeper than usual, "Lately, you have not been as frightened to be in the Devildom. But surely you still possess fear when you look at me, yes?" 

I stare at him, hoping he can't hear the rapid beating of my heart. Lucifer has never acted this way. Is this a joke? Did I do something wrong? 

"I'm not afraid of you," I say. 

"No?" He takes a step forward and I try to push myself deeper into the folds of the couch. "Then we shall make amends to that." 

He smiles at me, his lips stretching far wider than what should be possible. His mouth is full of smooth, pointed fangs, his incisors stretching over his lips. His gums are black and shiny. 

His eyes are fully black. I can see my reflection in them; a tiny human huddled into the couch, shivering like wounded prey. 

Horns slowly break skin and inch out of his skull. Feathers wilt from his back, unfurling with an unhurried pace. Lucifer's flesh crawls, giving way to something else. I don't want to see what it is. I don't want to know what he's changing into; whatever this is, this is not just his demon form. 

He moves to take a step towards me, and before I can register what I'm doing, I open my mouth and scream. 

Lucifer's face contorts into a look of blind rage and he tenses, hands outstretched towards me, legs bending so that he can jump-

A blur vaults over the couch and slams into Lucifer with a hiss. A second later, Mammon sprints into the room and pulls Lucifer backwards as Levi, who ran into the room so quickly that I couldn't see him, holds him down. Lucifer lunges towards me, teeth biting down so hard that the fangs puncture his own skin. Blood splatters onto his shirt, and it makes him roar. 

My vision blurs, and I can't tell if it's because I'm crying or blacking out. 

Warm, welcoming arms wrap around me and I turn to sob into Asmo's chest as three more pairs of footsteps echo across the common room floor. Asmo shushes me gently, his hands wrapping tightly over my ears. "Don't look, okay?"

Satan's muffled voice carries over Asmo's palms. "Stay here! We'll get Lucifer out of here!" 

I stay still until the sounds of scuffling and Lucifer's roars finally fade. Asmo releases his grip, instead moving his hands so that he can wrap one of his arms around my back and the other on the back of my legs. He effortlessly picks me up, his lips pressed tightly against my forehead. 

"It's okay," he whispers. "You're safe. Let's get you in your room, love." 

The tears won't stop. I open my mouth to speak, but can only manage a tiny squeak. 

These demons have tried to kill me multiple times. Hell, Belphie literally murdered me. And yet… and yet I have never been as afraid as I was just now.

I suddenly grow very cold. Lucifer didn't want to kill me. He wanted to hurt me. And I think he wanted to make it last. 

Asmo carries me to my room, resting me on my bed. He sits near my feet, a hand resting gently on my leg. I curl up into a ball, my body still shaking uncontrollably. 

I wait until I feel as if I can speak. "Why?" 

Asmo sighs, running a hand through his hair. It sweeps perfectly back into place. "He's been really stressed lately. Maybe after some alone time-" 

I sit up with a start, cutting him off. "I'm not an idiot. That was not normal. I've seen Lucifer stressed! And that was not--�� that wasn't him. He was changing." I try to push the image away, try to forget that terrible mouth or the way his skin lept and moved as if insects scuttled underneath. "He was changing into something I've never seen." I glare at Asmo. His face is a perfect blank slate, free of emotion. 

It only makes me angrier. "You can't lie to me about this anymore. Tell me what's going on." 

He shakes his head. "I can't. I promised Diavolo. We all did." He tries to reach for my hand, but I pull it away from him. Hurt flashes in his red eyes. "Look, honey, there are some…. things about being a demon that I can't tell you. Please believe me when I say that not knowing is for your own good." 

I lie down, turning my back so that I'm no longer facing him. "You can't make that decision for me." 

"It was made long before you got here."

"I don't care!" I shout. Asmodeus gasps quietly; I don't think I've ever yelled at him before. "Leave," I mutter, digging my head into my pillow, "I don't want to see any of you right now." 

I don't want to see his face. I don't want to imagine the hurt. But I'm done with the lies, with the constant avoidance. I'm going to find out what's happening. 

When I lift my head from my pillow, the only sign of Asmo is the lingering scent of his perfume. 

The remainder of the week is… strange. The air in the house is tense, and everyone seems like they're stepping around broken glass. Asmo must have told everyone my reaction, because all the brothers give me space and are careful to never get close enough to touch me. 

It feels nice at first, knowing that they care about me enough to let me go to them. But no one mentions what happened; they all just stare at me with expectant, worried eyes. 

I haven't even seen Lucifer. I know he's in the house. His study constantly smells of fresh coffee, and I can occasionally hear soft piano music drifting throughout the halls, but he somehow manages to avoid seeing me. 

It pisses me off. Is he waiting for me to approach him? Because I'm not the one who attacked him, and I refuse to crawl back to him and ask if everything is okay between us. I deserve better.

We're not eating together anymore. I don't know where the brothers eat; I've found a plate with plastic wrap with my name scribbled on it for the past four mornings and nights. 

So I've stayed in my room for the most part, only leaving for food or to attend RAD. I've considered asking Solomon or one of the angels for advice, but I don't want to bring them into this. Simeon would just ask the demons directly, Solomon would suggest magic, and Luke would… 

Well, he probably wouldn't do much besides grumble about his hatred for demons. But maybe spending some time with the adorable angel would help keep my mind off things. 

I'm about to reach across my bed for my phone and ask if he's up for some cupcake decorating when I hear the sound of two knuckles rapping at my door. 

I put my phone down and take a deep breath. "It's open." 

Beel's hulking figure emerges from behind the door. He leaves it slightly open as he takes a couple steps forward, coming to an awkward stop  in front of my dresser, hands in his pockets. A part of me twinges; usually, he just sits right beside me. 

"Hey," his smooth voice is soft, his hair covering his eyes. 

"Hi," I reply, curling my arms around my knees. It's not like I enjoy having this sort of awkward tension between the brothers, but I'm far too stubborn and annoyed to do anything about it. 

"I uh," he shifts his feet. "I'm not sure why everyone is still avoiding you. They said to wait until you told us you wanted everything to go back to normal, but I miss you." 

Beel turns to the side to show a stuffed backpack on his back. "I want to eat with you. Is it okay?" 

I smile, tapping the spot on my bed next to me. "Thank you." 

"Of course," he nods, already reaching into the backpack to pull out a handful of snacks. He sits down, his back leaning against my pillows. He puts the bag in between us before taking a bag of chips and pouring it into his mouth. He swallows, turning to me. "Do you want to talk about it?" 

I snort bitterly. "You apparently can't tell me anything I actually want to know." 

Beel looks at me like a lost puppy. "I'm really sorry. I wish I could, but Diavolo told us we couldn't. And I don't want a repeat of what happened to Belphie. I don't want to see my brothers get hurt again." 

I shake my head. It really is impossible to stay angry at this man, isn't it? "Why is Lucifer avoiding me?" 

Beel sighs. "He's really mad at himself for doing that to you. I think he's afraid that you hate him now. You were so close to-" He cuts off, filling his mouth with food. 

"Close to what?" 

He swallows. "Close to seeing something we never want you to see." He laughs, but there's no humor in the sound. "I don't think you'd like us very much if you knew, and that would make me sad." He reaches into his backpack and pulls out a candy bar. "Here, I know it's your favorite." 

I take it, tearing open the wrapper. Suddenly, my door creaks and I look up to see Mammon shyly sliding into the room. "Do ya got room for one more demon?" 

I reach into the bag and offer him a snack. He gingerly takes it from my fingers, careful not to touch me. He plops down on the floor, his head facing away from me. 

"Did you miss them, too?" Beel asks. 

"What?" Mammon scoffs, shaking his head wildly. "Why would I miss a human? I just thought I should've paid 'em a visit since I knew they'd be missing me!" 

I share a knowing glance with Beel. "It's okay," I say, ruffling Mammon's hair. "I missed you, too." 

"Hashahsaza?" Mammon squeaks as more incomprehensible sounds come out of his mouth. 

I smile, leaning casually against Beel's shoulder. Maybe this house is finally returning back to normal. 

The next day at RAD, I find my way into an empty student council room for my meeting with the rest of the members. I take my seat, pulling out some homework out of my bag to get it done before any of the brothers start pestering me to spend time with them.  

I’m just about to start a reading about the history of the Celestial Realm when I hear a small, polite cough from the other side of the room. I look up to see Lucifer standing stiffly in front of the doorway. 

“Hello,” Lucifer takes a few steps forward and stops, his hands clasped firmly behind his back. “I was hoping I’d find you here.”

I lean back in my chair, crossing my arms expectantly. Lucifer takes another curt step forward so that I’m finally able to see his face clearly. 

His eyes are guarded. “Erm,” he starts, showing a flash of discomfort before immediately hiding it, “I came here to apologize. The way I acted the other day was… unforgivable.” His eyes widen as if hearing the weight of his words. “Despite that, I would encourage you to forgive me.”

“Why?” I ask, just to see him squirm. 

He opens his mouth, closes it, and then opens it again. “If our relationship has changed negatively, I believe that it would make your time as an exchange student here more difficult for you.”

I frown. “Is that your only reason?”

He furrows his eyebrows, the shadow of a smile hinting at his lips. “Ah,” he chuckles. “Fine, I will humor you. I don’t want our relationship to change. I enjoy your company and would be… displeased if you no longer felt comfortable enough to spend time with me.”

I shake my head. “Why do you always have to be so formal?” I sigh, grinning at the demon. “I also like spending time with you. But what you did scared me.” Annoyance bubbles in the back of my mind. “And despite what I saw, everyone is still refusing to tell me what happened, or why it happened.” 

“It’s for your own good.”

“I still have the right to know.”

Lucifer narrows his eyes, and the air around him darkens. “It is your privilege to be here, in the Devildom. You are the first human without the possession of magic to step foot in this realm. We are entitled to keep things from you in order to protect your feeble body and mind.”

Feeble? “Fine. Whatever. I’ll just try to forget everything I saw and pretend that everything is fine in Hell.”

Lucifer takes a step forward. I swallow, my anxiety building as he gets closer. “You know nothing of Hell." He has to force the following words out of his mouth. "Pray that you never do."

I don't bother to continue with the conversation, instead taking out my phone to busy myself with something other than Lucifer. He takes his seat. 

The other demon brothers start filtering into the room, eyes drifting worriedly from me to Lucifer. Asmo, Satan, and Levi are still staying clear of me. When Belphie walks into the room, he rolls his eyes and mutters something about grudges under his breath. 

We all sit in awkward silence until Diavolo rushes into the room, arms full of papers. He sits down across from us, smiling widely. If he notices the tense air, he doesn't say anything about it. 

The meeting is the same as usual; we discuss future school events, budgets, and anything else that needs to be addressed. I don't say much throughout the meeting. People don't mess around as much as they usually do. 

After about an hour or so, Diavolo stands and faces me. "I'm sorry to do this, but I need to have a meeting between just me and your demon housemates. Please return to the House of Lamentation. Solomon is waiting for you outside the school." 

I open my mouth to object, but Diavolo cuts me off before I can do so. "This is a private matter among high demons." 

I'm not going to win this fight. I nod, gather my things, and leave. Solomon waves at me from the front gate, and I suddenly get an idea. 

"What's up, nerd?" He greets. 

I rush over to him, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. "Wanna help me spy on the demon brothers?" 

He raises an eyebrow. "I'm interested." He clicks his tongue, an annoyed look on his face. "But I promised Simeon and Luke I'd go out shopping with them, so I can't go with you." 

"That's fine," I say, "I only need a way to track 'em." 

He winks and begins walking towards the direction of Purgatory Hall. "I have the stuff for a tracking potion in my room. I can whip it up real quick." 

I grin at him. "You're the best, Solomon." 

"I know." He laughs as I push him playfully. "What do you need the potion for, anyway?" 

I shrug. "They're keeping things from me." Solomon stares at me, waiting for me to continue. I sigh heavily. "Lucifer tried to attack me the other day. I need to figure out why." 

He nods, suddenly serious. "I don't have to tell you to be careful, right?" 

"I'll be careful." 

He's quiet for the rest of the way to Purgatory Hall. Once we arrive, he sneaks into his room. It's full of well-organized clutter; each shelve is filled with spell books, potions, empty bottles, and ingredients. Solomon picks up a spell book from his bedside table and begins ruffling through it. Once he finds the page he was looking for, he wanders around his room and picks up various items around the room. 

He grinds a few herbs before mixing them together. "Which of the brothers do you want to track?" 

I frown, thinking. "Is there any way for them to know that I'm using magic to track them?" 

Solomon clicks his tongue thoughtfully. "It's rare, but possible if they're on guard." 

"In that case, Beel." 

I almost feel bad for choosing him, but I know he's far too hungry all the time to focus on any other feeling he may get. Also, he's the most trusting of the brothers. 

Solomon reaches into a desk drawer and pulls out a vial. There's a few different items within it, but I can clearly make out a few strands of Beel's orange hair. 

"Solomon," I start, "Do you have DNA from all the brothers?" 

"Yeah," he says indifferently. 

I feel uneasy. "Solomon," I swallow, "Do you have my DNA?" 

He snorts, giving me a quick glance. I suddenly feel very worried. "Why?" 

"You know, just in case." 

I gape at him for a while as he adds the herb and DNA mixture to a vial that's filled with an opaque liquid. Once he begins to mix the potion, it turns into a shimmery gray color. Solomon holds it out to me. "Drink it, and you'll know exactly where to find Beel." 

I take a deep breath, swallowing down the growing trepidation in my throat. I have to know what's going on. I need to understand why Lucifer acted that way, and why the demons are hiding it from me. 

I ignore the voice in the back of my head screaming at me to stop and down the potion in one gulp. Almost immediately, I feel a warmth in my chest. It pulls forward towards a particular direction. 

"Here I go," I say, encouraging myself to move forward. I motion towards Solomon's door. 

He catches my wrist. I turn to look at him. "If it turns out bad, come here. I have a trap in my room so that if anyone besides me comes in without me taking it down, I'll immediately lock them in an invisible forcefield. You won't be able to leave until I get back here, but that also means that no one will be able to touch you." 

I nod gratefully. A few days ago, I would have just thought that getting caught would mean having to deal with one of Lucifer's lectures. Now, I'm not so sure. 

Solomon walks me out of the house, giving my shoulder an encouraging squeeze before closing the door behind me. I concentrate on the tugging feeling in my chest and turn towards the direction it’s pulling me. I get further away from RAD and the House of Lamentation with every step I take.

After about half an hour of walking, I realize that I’ve never been this far away from the center of the Devildom. I’ve always been in the same little bubble since coming to the demon realm, and the realization that I’m walking out of that safe space to investigate the demons causes an icy chill to slice into my back. 

My surroundings change from that of a city to what appears to be a barren wasteland. Houses and shops become more sparse, giving way to fields of black, scorched earth. The moon barely sheds any light on my path, and my pace slows down to an unbearable crawl without the help of streetlights. I can only squint and hope I don’t trip over anything as I follow the warm pull in my chest. 

My calves begin to burn; I narrow my eyes in front of me, realizing with a start that I’m walking uphill. My path becomes more and more steep, rocks tumbling down the earth behind me as the soil is shaken up by my trembling feet. It gets so bad that I have to crawl in order to move forward without falling down. 

The feeling in my chest grows hotter. The air blurs in front of me, swirling gently. I blink at the strange sight. I’ve seen this before, during magic lessons at Solomon’s house. It’s some kind of forcefield, but not the kind that keeps people out. Maybe it’s to keep something hidden?

I push down the rising, primal panic in my gut and crawl forward, instinctively closing my eyes as I pass through the almost imperceivable wall. 

My ears immediately begin to ring with the painful sound of screams. 

I’m kneeling over a cavernous pit that seems to stretch out for eternity. Once I understand what I’m looking at, I immediately lean to the side and empty my stomach onto the scorched earth. I have to cover my mouth to keep myself from wailing. I’m too afraid that the… things in the pit will hear me. 

The pit is set up like a maze, the walls built out of jagged, black rock. Cages are scattered around the cavern, and if I squint hard enough I see small, bony limbs stretched out in a hopeless plea. Dark figures roam the hallways, occasionally letting people out of their confinement and shoving them away from the metal bars. 

The large, dark figures take their hostages and lead them towards pain. I’m lucky that I’m too far away to see exactly what happens to those poor souls, but I can see their bodies contort in pain as they’re tortured. One is pushed into a pool of molten lava, forced to swim to the other side to continue traversing through the maze. When they finally meet the end, their skin sends smoke into the air. 

They all live, no matter what happens to them. Each corner of the maze brings a horrible new punishment, but the broken figures continue to march on. They continue to walk, even if they are dragging their entrails in their wake. And the dark figures not only lead them, but they cause the punishments as well. If I concentrate hard enough, I can hear laughter drift through the pained cries. 

I’m looking into the pits of Hell. 

I cannot move. I must be crying because my vision is blurry, but I can’t feel the tears. The brothers were right. I shouldn’t have asked. I shouldn’t have meddled in business that wasn’t mine. I would have been better off not knowing what they did to resist the temptations of their own sins. 

Time doesn’t exist on this side of the forcefield. I can’t tell how long I kneel at the edge of Hell, biting on my lip until I taste blood so I don’t scream. It feels like days. My body is frozen. All I can do is watch as souls are tortured, put into cages, healed, and then tortured again. 

I am in Hell. And the demon brothers that I once thought were mine are down there, taking delight in the pain of human souls. 

I hear footsteps. They are close, the sound of shifting grass making its way into my thrumming ears. The voices I hear are familiar. They are no longer welcoming. 

Seven figures make their way towards me. Once they see me, they stop. A mixture of surprise, horror, and regret flash upon their contorted faces. I am only able to recognize them by their eyes; the rest of their bodies are far too different, far too monstrous to be recognizable.

I stare at the seven brothers that I’ve lived with for months. I have loved them with all my heart, have felt more at home in their arms than I have in my whole life. And yet, I feel none of that warmth anymore. 

I look at the True Forms of the men I grew to love and can no longer recognize. 

And finally, I allow myself to scream. 

Part 2

[xz1005fanblog]

2021-02-27 Some things I want to say

WARNING LONG POST

Context first, translation of his post above will follow:

Disclaimer: I have no interest in other artists other than Xiao Zhan, and I am merely explaining the situation of the fandom in China that led us to the fiasco in March 2020. I do not care for bjyx, I ship WangXian but I do not ship real people as a basic principle.

My opinion as an international fan of Xiao Zhan and as an AO3 user (yes, I am not Chinese nor do I live in China, I just happen to be able to read Chinese) is that C-entertainment industry is TOXIC and celebrities are not free targets for you to cyberbully. They are human just like you and me. 

Everyone needs to learn a bit more about compassion. 

I am sure all of you read about the cyberbullying Xiao Zhan went through last year. There were multiple factors that started all of this, most of which XZ doesn’t talk about in this letter because of how sensitive the topic is in China. I’ve never explained entirely what happened because I personally thought that this is not something overseas fans should worry too much about. Especially since most of you don’t have a wb or db account, there’s nothing you can do about it anyway. But since Xiao Zhan himself decided to post a letter to respond to this subject, I’ll put in my 2 cents just that so everyone is on the same page.

Basically, after The Untamed aired in China, the show fandom split into 3 groups. XZ fans, WYB fans, and CP fans (or bjyx, whatever you wish to call it, those who love shipping these two real people together - not just the characters in the drama). Of course there are still people who would watch the show without becoming a fan of the actors.

At the beginning, most people thought they were good friends with each other, with all the short BTS clips from The Untamed. However, fans slowly discovered that it wasn’t the case. Some unofficial BTS clips emerged where WYB said XZ was shooting multiple dramas at the same time = 轧戏 (which is very frowned upon and a disrespectful thing to say to an actor), whereas in reality, XZ only asked for a couple of days days off during the shooting for The Untamed because his scenes in Joy of Life had to be redone and he was bound by contract. On the contrary, WYB had to ask for most weekends off because he was participating in Produce 101 at the time. Other clips shows them fighting about somethings WYB said about WWX, which made XZ mad. So this broke a lot of CP fans’ image of their relationship, and they either stopped shipping/became XZ or WYB fans only. This angered WYB’s fans, of course, which made them blame XZ for the entire fiasco.  

Other incidents continued to happen after the show which increased the friction between these 3 fan groups. XZ fans and WYB fans would fight about various voting charts, and fight with CP fans because they don’t like seeing the two actors together. In the meantime, CP fans continuously feminize and weaken XZ in order to ship the 2 actors together (it’s rather an unhealthy trend in China, I’ve been in multiple other western fandoms before - not real person shipping - but we rarely glorify weakening/feminizing the bottom of a ship, because of the underlying prejudice against real homosexuals, who are not synonymous to transgenders).

Some incidents added oil to the fire afterwards. It’ll take me too long to explain everything, so I’ll just put here the main ones to explain why there’s so much bad blood between these 3 groups of fans.

On XZ’s birthday, some CP fans found XZ’s parents’ apartment building and yelled BJYX is real. This angered a lot of XZ fans, because of how disrespectful it was towards the old couple and the clear breach of privacy. WYB fans and some CP fans were also angry that XZ didn’t reply immediately to the birthday wish on wb that WYB sent at midnight (??? XZ was busy shooting a drama, can you blame him for not being on wb at midnight? Give the guy a break.)

In November 2019, WYB filed a lawsuit against some of XZ’s fans (instead against of his own haters!) for dissing him (although I’ve never seen any proof, and a few of those fans remain active on wb now, one of whom has even defended WYB's portrayal of LWJ before...). This angered a lot of XZ fans and CP fans who didn’t understand how he could have done this to his “friend”, and further proved that their relationship wasn’t that fantastic to begin with. WYB fans felt justified in hating XZ and all XZ fans as a result, and openly bullied XZ fans on the grounds of the Nanking CQL Concert. 

In January, The Untamed was named to Beijing Journal Drama award. CP fans and WYB fans were unhappy that XZ was named to the Best Male Lead category and WYB was named to the Best Male 2nd Lead. They attacked the award committee wb by spam commenting all their wb posts and the entire drama was pulled from the nomination afterward. XZ fans were especially angry that they started all this only for the nomination to be pulled out - because the only possibility was one Male Lead per drama, and anyone would agree that if chosen between WWX and LWJ, the character with the most scenes and importance in the story is WWX. 

Yadda yadda yadda, fast forward to February 2020, it started with a fanfiction written by a CP fan that depicted XZ as a prostitute transgender woman and WYB as a highschool kid (UNDERAGE) = AKA very sensitive material in China. It was posted on AO3, but the author posted the link of said fic on wb and a lot of CP fans broadcasted it around, so much that XZ fans became aware of it. Due to how sensitive the material is and how badly it would taint XZ’s image for his future roles, some XZ fans started reporting the wb post that contained the link (NOT AO3) and the author’s wb page. This is common practice in fandom on wb, usually done to get the wb posts taken down. This caused panic in the CP fans crowd because they thought XZ fans were reporting AO3 and that they were gonna lose the website (which is impossible, because AO3′s servers are in Sweden and not subject to Chinese laws anyway). 

Because of how sensitive AO3 was in China and how haters tried to pull in antigovernmental into their crowds, the subject quickly became too dangerous for XZ fans to get involved in. Official fan groups in China unanimously decided to ask all fans to stop participating in the online debate and stay within the fan group circle only. 

Someone on AO3 made a commentary about this incident that you can find here. She dug up a lot of info on the companies feeding money to the trolls online, but as I am an overseas fan and cannot really verify her info, I will not comment on those statements. 

Sometime in the middle of this fiasco, someone started spreading the notion that XZ fans hated fanfiction and were trying to report anything that goes against their image of their idol... And subsequently people who were not CP fans or XZ fans became aware of this problem when they couldn’t access AO3 suddenly because too much curious fans where trying to access it and they crashed the servers. However later on, people could access the website without any problems. I am not personally in China right now so I can’t verify these claims of the website being walled or not for real, but I know from various reliable sources that on March 1st it was only an overload of the server, and people could still access afterwards. 

With this however, haters (which include previous CP fans, WYB fans, and other idol’s fans) attacked XZ for not telling his fans to stop reporting, for not saying anything. They attacked XZ’s endorsements and spammed hate speech on the products he was promoting. They would rate 1 star in all his dramas and songs on db, and then buy accounts to further rate 1 stars (yes that thing exists in China, everything can be bought in China, don’t ask me why.) The reason why I believe that all this wasn’t coincidental, is that barely the day after the fiasco started, someone posted on db the exact list of all his sponsorships, detailing exactly who to call to protest, what words to spam in the comment sections of various official brands’ wb accounts. This entire thing was too well planned to be just a normal fandom fight. 

Whether it was other actors’ fans who organized this to cut down competition, we will probably never know for sure. The following year was laden with fake rumors, hate speech blasting from multiple directions. They attacked his personality, saying that his polite manners are just for show (when the reality is that he has always been a gentleman even when he wasn’t popular). They attacked XZ for faking donations to Wuhan, forcing him to show his donation certificate to prove himself. One of his friends couldn’t stand the cyberbullying anymore and revealed publicly that his grandfather recently passed away (the date on this drawing is 2020.03.03, he couldn’t post this last year). 

His friend defending him from the cyberbullies, saying that he had plenty of reasons to stay silent. That his grandfather passed away recently and his family has been planning his funeral. 

(Sources also said that his mother was hospitalized a few days afterwards. And that haters went to his mother’s hospital to harass her and her nurses)

Haters saying that XZ is using his grandfather’s death to excuse himself (??? is he not allowed to grieve like a normal person???)

Haters wishing that XZ becomes depressed from the cyberbullying and kills himself, wishing that he was dead, wishing that his fans were dead too. Photoshopping his picture into a funeral portrait to curse him

Haters admitting they are cyberbullying XZ, but rejoicing in the fact that they are so many so XZ can’t sue all of them. They have also reported his upcoming dramas for various reasons just so they cannot be aired. 

The airplane incident I’ve already talked about here.

A picture antis made to diss on XZ fans: AO3 can be still accessed even if it’s walled, Lofter can be still access even if it’s taken down from the app store. Your gege’s picture are still accessible even if he died. 

I’ve only posted here the tamest screenshots, there are far worst ones that I won’t be posting because the amount of vitriol give me nausea just looking at them. 

In all this fiasco, antis gave him the tag of “idol who didn’t manage his fans well”. But Xiao Zhan never thought fans needed to be trained, he thought of them like normal people, and their love, something to be treasured and not used. But some people in China still blamed his fans for starting all this mess, and partly him and his studio for not being able to stop it. 

Below is the translation for XZ’s letter, posted on the wb post above

Some Things I Want To Say

Today, I have something to say to everyone. I’ve thought of a lot of ways to do this, but in the end, I chose the simplest way to tell everyone about all my feelings and thoughts in the past year. These opinions, maybe they won’t be able to represent anything, nor won’t they be able to change anything, but I still wish to say this today. 

On this day last year, the incident happened very quickly, as if a bomb exploded on my face - endless phone calls, never ending message notifications, everyone’s opinions and questions came in like a tsunami. I wanted to say something back then, but I didn’t know what exactly. I was apprehensive of making a statement, afraid that one wrong word, or one wrong sentence would be taken the wrong way and end up adding oil to the fire. This is why at that time, I chose not to say anything. 

I never thought that the online fighting would grow bigger and bigger like an avalanche, getting larger crowds involved, and gradually leaving one person’s control. Even though afterwards I made repeated statements to make amends, it could not develop as I wished it to anymore. 

This life filled with broken protests and tumultuous noise continued to this day. And I felt I was going through a very dark and never ending tunnel. Unrest, ruminations, turmoil... I have also asked myself what did I do wrong exactly, why did everything after that day became as if it were an uncontrollable vessel. 

I spent a lot of time to digest, and then spent a lot of time to understand, understand everyone’s words and actions. Slowly, I started to understand what everyone was criticizing about me personally. The moment that I chose not to say anything, I lost that window of opportunity to reason with everyone. So I was wrong, from the very beginning. 

At that time, I wasn’t yet able to clearly understand the entire incident, to understand everyone’s feelings, nor did I know what kind of responsibility I had to carry as a public figure. Thus, I missed that opportunity to communicate with everyone, and wasn’t able to withstand the responsibility of letting these antagonizing feelings grow. Now, I can clearly recognize that throughout this year, this criticism that everyone had against me of “Idol Who Lost Its Voice”, was correct. During this year I reflected upon this repeatedly, as a public figure, I have to not only improve myself within the boundaries of my profession, but also have to carry the social responsibility that comes with my influence. To influence those who like me, who follow me, towards the right worldviews within my capacity. Even though my studio and I have already expressed some opinions through wb and interviews, but scars that this incident that brought such antagonistic emotions between different circles are still difficult to heal. 

No matter how late, my own problem has to be corrected. I would like to express my first comment: Xiao Zhan, would like to apologize for “losing voice” towards those who have been affected by this incident. This is my first responsibility towards the public, face the problem and admit my faults. 

Also, I would like to use this opportunity to speak with my fans. This is my second responsibility. In one of my interviews last year, I have said, I do not really agree with “managing” my fans (some celebs in China have hired people to manage fan groups in order for them to behave in certain ways for their purposes. Antis tried to spread the false rumor that XZ also had those people and that they directed their fans to start this mess), because everyone is an individual. No matter my studio nor myself, we do not have the authority to “manage” them like some would manage workers in a company. Afterwards, I reflected many times, maybe I cannot use the word “manage” to define my relationship with my fans, but I do have the responsibility to “correctly influence, and actively advocate”. So today, I would like to tell my fans, everyone has the right to like or hate something, and it should be respected and allowed within their own space. Of course this right should be reasonable, should not hurt anyone else, and remain within the boundaries of the correct values and norms. I hope my fans and friends can understand that no matter which profession, no matter what age, one’s own preferences or actions should not cross the line for one’s professional ethics or disrespect basic principles. 

(Here he is referring to reports of teachers using his name in class or asking children to say his name to cheer for him. This is a problem that occurred also with other celebrities in China, and for which he has already expressed himself previously.)

No matter online or in real life, everyone should be responsible for their own words. I also hope that we are not represented tags like “xx’s fans”, that we do not set this as the basis of where we stand on a topic nor do we let this determine what’s right or wrong. Everyone have their own hobbies and interest, respect everyone’s choice and freedom of speech. No matter whether they like me or hate me is their own right. Passion, this should be a source of strength to everyone, I do not wish for it to consume or hurt anyone. Perhaps I cannot change this kind of environment, but at least for you and me, today is a new start point. 

At last, I would like to talk a bit about myself. Ever since I came into this field, until today, I have always been defined by some tags. But the reason why I originally stepped into this circle was my passion for performance and music. And this is why, I will keep working on becoming a better actor and singer. The sudden criticism of “having lost voice” made me realize that, other than what I have always focused on professionally, I have to also be able to carry the responsibility of a public figure and an idol. I was born in a normal family in Chong Qing, and have lived a normal life, like many other people, for more than twenty years. Today I will also use this opportunity to apologize for the words I have said before as a normal person (I’ve already talked about it here), for the people I have inadvertently hurt. As I work hard on studying to become a better person, I will try to become a better “public figure”, so that these two Xiao Zhan can blend in together, for a better self. 

This past year, no matter big or small, I have to be responsible for the incidents that happened because of me. I can demand this for myself, but I have no right to force it on other people, so I can only hope that those who really like me can really listen to me: please be a bit more reasonable for things outside of personal preferences. Live a healthy life, put more time and energy onto one’s real life, and less on the senseless fighting behind fake IDs and unreliable online world. Only to become a better self. 

(Here he’s referring to an online fight that an anti called 晨小晨 started. I’ve already explained a bit here.  #微博管理员回应晨小晨事件# )

Sorry for any grammar errors, this post was really long to make and I didn’t proofread. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to translate the entire thing for overseas fans since you don’t understand the entire context, and because I wanted my wb records collection tag to be complete, I felt I had to... and I got carried away trying to explain everything. Tried to summarize it as much as I could.

As a fan of Xiao Zhan and also an AO3 user, I would still like to apologize for how this bullshi*t ended up disrupting respectful and peaceful users of AO3. The Untamed tag did not contain hate fics before all of this happened, it is unfortunate that a place where there used to be only love, ended up being tainted by antis and haters.

To the anonymous person who asked me a few months ago if I supported bjyx, this is my answer: You have the right to like whatever you want within your own corner, as long as it doesn’t bother anyone else and isn’t against basic principles. I ship WangXian as characters from a novel, but I have never liked RPS as a principle. 

[alicanta77]

Chapter 1: Tomorrow Never Dies

Pairing: y/n x Jeno

Themes: mutant au, angst, fluff

Warnings: mind control, experiments performed on people, needles, violence, minor character death, blood, descriptions of injury, swearing

Words: 14k

Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Finale

——————————————————————————

The repetitive high pitched beeping drew you out of your heavy sleep. You winced as the ceiling light switched on automatically, the brightness glaring down at you. You heard a groan from your roommate, signalling that he was also awake. You lay there for a second, your eyes trying to adjust, before pulling yourself up into a sitting position.

You turned your head towards the boy on your left, wincing once again as your neck cracked loudly. His eyes moved towards you, one eyebrow raised questioningly.

‘Lab last night?’ He asked, the three words asking the question that all of you dreaded.

Did they take you into the lab last night? Did they experiment on you? What did they do to you? What do you remember? Do you remember anything?

‘Yep.’ You muttered. ‘Routine 2b.’

It was Jeno’s turn to wince at your revelation. He knew that 2b was a painful routine that they could put you through, involving a lot of needles and a heavy focus on your neck.

You simply let out a dry chuckle and shrugged, a short yet sharp pain shooting through your neck and upper back as you did so.

‘Still feeling it?’ He asked again, clearly noticing your obvious discomfort.

‘How could you tell?’ You gave him a small smile, a sad but familiar one that was always exchanged between the two of you the morning after a visit to the lab.

The door of your cell buzzed, signalling that it was open, and in walked a single guard. He was wearing protective gear from head to toe, from thick boots, to a bullet proof vest, to his gloves, all the way to the helmet covering his face. You never knew who was behind all the gear, having never seen the face of a single guard in this facility for as long as you’d been here. The pistol strapped to his boot, or the knife at his side, or even the machine gun across his back probably should have scared you, but when that’s all you’ve known, you don’t see anything wrong with it.

Besides, you’re only in this facility to protect the outside world from dangers like you. The facility you’re in holds some of the most dangerous people in the world. The upper levels of the facility held criminals, each getting more threatening as you ventured down through the floors of the building. Those arrested for petty theft or vandalism were kept at the top, then the serial killers and mass murders were contained one floor above the bottom. You were kept in the most secured sub basement section of the facility. The lowest possible layer. You were watched at all time by guards and cameras, taken into labs for tests and experiments. Doctors would perform these on you, taking samples and notes, figuring out how to help you control yourselves.

The sub section you were kept in held around 150 people, most of them teenagers and young adults like you. You were different, called mutants of some kind. That was the closest you had ever come to an actual answer about what you were. What you did know was that you had abilities, something that the average human didn’t have, and that was what made you dangerous. Out of all the years you had been here, you had only managed to figure out a few other subject’s abilities. The seven other boys you shared your area with, to be exact.

You first found out about your roommate, Lee Jeno, subject A7, weather manipulation. He could create a storm by narrowing his eyes or make the sun shine brighter by simply smiling. His abilities were often affected by his emotions. The happier he was, the easier it was to create a sunny environment, but when he was angry or frustrated, he often found it difficult to control the storm that started brewing. There was something oddly poetic about his abilities though. This thought occurred to you the one and only time you saw him cry. To this day, you still have no idea what happened to break his heart like that, but, you watched one day as the guard pulled him aside and delivered some news. The next thing you knew, Jeno had collapsed to the ground, sobs tearing from his chest. Even though you were inside, rain droplets started to fall on your head. It was as if the sky had decided to cry with him. 

There was Mark Lee, subject A3, healing and super speed. Apparently it’s incredibly rare to have more than one ability. That’s why they call Mark Lee the ‘Golden Boy’. He often finds the world running at a pace that was too slow for him, his naturally faster system getting bored easily. He would spend some time running laps around the training room faster than you could blink. His healing skill is the one he has most trouble with. It doesn’t come as easily to him as his speed does. Instead, he has to learn it. Without thinking much, he can mend cuts and fade bruises, and, when he really focuses, he finds a way to stop serious pain or bleeding, and often pulls the body back together slightly.

Next, Huang Renjun, subject D9, image manipulation. He is the hardest to get a read on. You often can’t tell if he’s really in front of you, or if it’s simply just an image of him. He can make you see anything he wants you to see. Whether that is an empty training room when there’s actually ten people in there, or if it’s suddenly transporting you to a beach in the Caribbean. He seems to have the most control over his abilities out of all of you. Focusing now on making multiple people see what he wants them to, rather than just an individual.

After him, Lee Donghyuck, subject B5, he sees the future. No one knows how much he can see or how accurate it is, but he always know more than you do. You often think that he knows a lot more than he’s letting on. He likes to use his ability for trivial things, like telling people what’s for lunch or what to expect in training today. He has a much more serious and caring side to him though. You suspect that he uses his ability to keep an eye on your emotions as somehow, he always seems to know when you’re having a bad day.

Also, Na Jaemin, subject D2, mind control. Sweet as sugar but just as artificial, he could send you the deadliest smile, all while secretly enticing you into doing something for him. Normally it’s nothing drastic, fetching his lunch for him or asking a guard the question he doesn’t want to. But you never know when he’ll get bored of that and make you do something you really don’t want to. You always make sure to keep him on your good side. Similar to Donghyuck, no one really knows the true extent of his powers, making him even more mysterious. Even the guards seem nervous of him because you can never quite tell when he’s enchanting you, not until it’s too late.

Then comes Zhong Chenle, subject C6, a shapeshifter. Can transform easily if he’s looking at the animal, harder if he has to remember it and really has to focus if he wants to take on the form of another human. He always seems to be in a good mood. How he manages that you have no idea, but you’re always thankful. He takes the whole situation less seriously than the others. Choosing to randomly turn into birds and fly into the guards helmets or run up their legs as a mouse. No matter what, he always manages to make you laugh. 

And finally, Park Jisung, subject D4, super strength. Not exactly what you would expect the boy to have, considering his personality. He seems too sweet for this reality. He always wants the best for people and sees the good in everyone. Sometimes, you wish that you could have that mindset. He’s such a pure soul that you often forget he could squish you in between his fingers like a fly if you weren’t careful. He constantly seemed to forget that he was incredibly strong, often banging the table when laughing and knocking off a leg, or clapping Hyuck on the back and sending him sprawling to the floor. He was a bit clumsy but had a heart of gold.

Rounding out the floor, there was you, subject A1, telekinesis. You could move a glass simply by looking at it, pick something up by blinking or shake your head and watch the overhead lights swing. If you focused hard you could lift or move heavier things, but moving people took almost all of your energy. Like Jeno, your emotions affect how powerful you were. Unlike with Renjun and Chenle who seem to lose control the angrier or more emotional or worked up they get, with Renjun’s images flickering and Chenle shifting uncontrollably from animal to animal, you and Jeno seem to be able to do more. Jeno could make a thunder storm powerful enough to blow the windows out by clenching his jaw and you could lift impossibly heavy objects and even throw them. Pushing people to the side also only took a slight flick of your hand. Sometimes your powers scared yourself. What would you do if one day you lost control and hurt someone you loved? If you were already dangerous enough to be locked in a facility like this, what would that make you? You would be worse than a monster.

As well as sharing the same floor with you, you also shared the same training room and dining hall. You even shared the same lab. It terrified you every time you walked into or past it and got a glimpse of the blood coating the doctor’s hands from their previous procedures.

The guard back out of your doorway, keeping an eye on the two of you at all times. You tilted your head to the left slightly, narrowing your eyes at him, watching as the guard’s moves sped up. He tripped over his own feet slightly in a bid to leave the room as fast as possible, causing both you and Jeno to burst out laughing when the door was shut.

‘You really have to stop doing that. It’s mean.’ Jeno lightly scolded you, the smile still present on his face.

‘Oh please, I am nowhere near as bad as Chenle. You know, Jisung told me that the last time the guard went into their room, Chenle had hidden himself as a moth under the bed, and then dropped in front of the poor guard and turned himself into a bear.’ You recited the story of yesterday morning to Jeno’s disbelieving face. ‘It’s true! Besides, at least we get to wake up to a smile on our faces.’

‘Yeah, you have a point.’ He paused for a second before giggling again. ‘Chenle is ruthless.’

You couldn’t help but laugh as well, treasuring the rare moments like this. Moments where everything seemed ok, seemed normal, and you could enjoy life and laugh with friends as if nothing else was wrong. However, those moments only ever last a few seconds.

The speakers in your room buzzed to life as a voice cracked through them.

‘All subjects to the rose room in five minutes. All subjects to the rose room in five minutes.’

You both looked at each other and sighed, before climbing out of your beds and grabbing the clothes provided. The guards come in every morning to drop them off. A simple grey jumpsuit, that was all you wore, everyday. You grabbed yours and headed into the bathroom to change. You pulled it on and spared yourself a short look in the mirror. The dark bags around your eyes were prominent, as were the small red dots on your neck. The only traces of what you went through the previous night. You rubbed them, trying to soften the aching before turning to leave the bathroom.

You knocked on the door, waiting for a shout from Jeno to say that it was okay for you to come out, before exiting. Together you waited for the trademark low pitched buzz that signalled your cell door being unlocked, and headed out into the hallway.

As you left you spotted the doctor waiting by your door. The other cells on your floor made the same low pitched buzz, and, gradually, out walked the other six boys. There were doctors positioned by each door, prepared with an injection. You received it every day, a numbing agent, that dulled your abilities for a period of time. It was given to you in the morning, allowing you to do your work and have lunch before it wore off and you went to your training sessions. 

The doctor extended a gloved hand to you, silently asking for your arm. You handed it to her and she rolled up your sleeve. She turned over your wrist and held you by the elbow as she positioned the syringe just below the joint.

The syringe wasn’t the kind they used in the labs. It wasn’t glass with a long metal needle on one end, it was thicker, something that had to be properly gripped with a button on the top to administer whatever was inside.

The doctor gave you no warning before she pushed the button and you winced as the machine let out a hiss, injecting the blue serum into you. You watched as she held out a hand to Jeno and repeated the same procedure. You blinked slowly a few times, the effects of the drug already taking hold.

‘Make your way to the rose room. Now.’ A guard to your left barked.

You turned robotically, your mind fuzzy and clouded. You began the journey to the rose room, your entire being occupied with the simple task of getting there. You had no thought process, no questions running around your mind, you weren’t thinking of anything. You just did what you were told.

You walked down with Jeno by your side, the white walls and floors passing you by with every step you took. You vaguely registered Jaemin joining you in your peripheral vision, but you didn’t turn to look at him. You kept your head straight, your face emotionless and your mouth shut. None of you looked at each other, none of you looked anywhere but straight ahead, and none of you uttered a word. None of you gave an inclination that you were more that walking robots, fully compliant and prepared to carry out any instruction given.

Because, in reality, under this drug, that was all that you were reduced to. You just didn’t realise the danger of that yet.

---

The door to the rose room was already open when you arrived, a guard standing there holding it for you. You didn’t spare a look towards him, your dull eyes kept focus on what was in front of you. You trudged towards your position, finding the spot labelled with your subject number and began your work.

The rose room was a large greenhouse. Inside it was a maze of rose bushes, sporting roses of all kinds and colours. If you were more awake then maybe you would appreciate the reds, blue, yellows and purples a lot more, but in your zombified state, you only knew work. In the middle of the room, however, was a large conveyer belt. 

Your job was to extract certain things from these roses, place them on the conveyer belt, and move onto the next thing. You did this for three hours in the morning everyday.

It was only in the rose room that you saw more of the subjects that were kept in the facility. You were just conscious enough to be aware of the girl and boy on either side of you, and of the fact that you didn’t recognise them.

However, you were blissfully unaware of the guards stalking through the rows of you. They stopped by the boy on your left and grabbed him by the shoulders. You didn’t register the guards movements. You didn’t register the boy being violently yanked out of his position. You didn’t register him being dragged down the halls. You didn’t register his screams.

You did your work.

---

Due to the numbing agent of the serum, time didn’t seem to exist during your work and lunch, so, before you knew it, it was time to train. 

The training room was a very large open space, with an area of it dedicated to a certain activity. Your training works in a circuit. Each of you has an individual routine, specific activities and exercises to work on each day that are tailored towards your abilities. As well as the ability training, you all have fitness training and agility and other physical exercises to complete as well. You weren’t sure what you were training for, but you had been doing it all your life.

Yesterday you had been working on distance training. This was one exercise that was centred around your ability and focused on you trying to move the same object from a further distance each time. It was repetitive and mentally draining, but always gave you good results. Since that was yesterday, it meant that today you were working on your physical agility and assisting it with your abilities. It involved things such as jumping from narrow beams and using your telekinesis to help and support your movements.

You always began without using abilities, trying it by yourself so that you knew where you needed to direct your energy. You started on two long beams that were only around two feet off the floor, and you simply jumped between them, trying to keep your balance. You had to make your way down them while jumping from one to the other, speeding up each time you completed it.

Then, once the instructor watching you was satisfied, you were told to use your abilities. You now used telekinesis to manipulate the air around you to help you jump. It made you jump further and faster, also with safer landings. You continued with this for a short while before the instructor stopped you.

‘Right, now let’s actually put it to the test.’ They said, turning away from you.

You watched them, confused, bending over slightly with you hands on your knees as you tried to catch your breath. You had been hoping for a break so that you could rest briefly but you had no such luck. Your instructor turned around and pointed above them.

‘Up you go’ They said nonchalantly. You followed to where they were pointing and you let out a breath of disbelief. Above you, hanging from the ceiling, were thin beams that were swaying the the minute breeze cause by the movement.

‘You’ve gotta be kidding me.’ You thought. But you instructor simply looked at you expectantly and you knew that you weren’t getting out of this. All the other boys were drawing to a close with their exercises, which didn’t go unnoticed by your instructor, so they decided to make a small change to their plan.

‘You get through this once, and then we’re done for the day. Okay?’ They said, nodding with a smile that was anything but friendly.

You took a deep breath and climbed the stairs to the side of the room. On the way up you looked down and watched as Jisung finished his final exercise, meaning that all the boys were officially done. You reached the top and looked out in front of you.

The beams were much thinner than those you had been working on below, and, not to mention, the ropes holding them up looked suspiciously frail. They creaked as they moved and the wooden beams swayed gently in front of you. You knew that you weren’t getting out of here without completing this task, so you jumped.

The first jump was easy. It wasn’t even half a meter long and your telekineses helped you to keep the beam steady. You took careful steps, wincing every time the beam creaked underneath your weight. The ropes groaned as you moved but you kept going, knowing that slowing down would be more dangerous. 

You cleared the second jump again, with a little more effort required, but you couldn’t quite figure out why it was more difficult. You made you way across this one swiftly, keeping you steps as light as possible due to the trembling ropes. The last thing you wanted was to fall now. It wasn’t until you reached the third jump that you realised why it was getting harder.

The jumps were getting bigger.

You swallowed, risking a look down and seeing the seven boys watching you carefully. You took a shaky breath, keeping your eyes on them as you saw Jeno give you a nod of encouragement. You nodded back and lifted your head, determined to finish this. You focused your mind on using the air around you and pictured pushing the particles together to form a barrier. You jumped forward and used that barrier to lift you slightly higher. You let out a sigh of relief when you cleared the distance, but you relaxed too early as you hadn’t taken into account the weight of you landing.

The ropes creaked dangerously loudly and you watched in fear as they began to fray. You knew you had to finish this quickly, or else you would be taking the quick way down. You took step after step, walking as fast as you possibly could to reach the second to last jump. You lifted off again, this time with less preparation due to you worry of the beam snapping, and you almost didn’t make it. You landed, roughly on the edge of the beam, holding onto it desperately in an attempt to pull yourself up.

You could hear the worried intakes of breath from the boys below you, but they didn’t say a thing. They weren’t allowed to. Interfering with another subject’s training had painful repercussions. 

‘Come on y/n.’ You heard Jaemin’s voice echo through your head. You spared a look down to find him looking at you intently. You realised that he must be using his abilities to speak with you telepathically. You didn’t know he could do that. ‘Pull yourself up. You can do this.’

You forced yourself to focus, using your ability to help your legs up and you got onto the beam. You had just straightened up when it started to shake, the ropes of the verge of breaking.

‘Run!’ Jaemin’s voice shattered your dazed mind and you took off. One foot in front of the other, just trying to reach the end. You only had two jumps left to make, one to the final beam and one to the solid platform at the end with the stairs to take you back down to the safety of the ground. 

You launched off the beam and onto the final one, the impact of your landing causing the ropes to tremble. You began to run and they properly gave out. You felt the beam beneath you begin to give way and you placed a final foot as close to the edge as you could, and leaped.

You used your ability the best you could, but you could tell that you weren’t going to make it. Then you felt a sudden gust of air push you up slightly, allowing you to just clear the distance and land in a heap, safely on the other side. 

You lay there on the ground for a second, catching your breath. The instructor’s voice echoed around the training room.

‘Head back to your cells! We’re done for the day!’

---

You and Jeno were making your way back to your cell after dinner. The events of the training room hadn’t left your mind. That final gust of air had saved you. And you knew that it had to have come from Jeno. No one else could do that.

‘Hey Jeno?’ You asked, keeping your eyes on the floor as you walked.

He hummed in response.

‘Thank you for earlier. I don’t know what I would have done without you.’ You said honestly.

He stopped you walking, forcing you to look at him.

‘You don’t ever need to thank me. I’ve got your back and you’ve got mine. No matter what, we’re always gonna protect each other yeah?’

You nodded, a smile etching its way onto your face.

‘Yeah.’

You kept walking, turning the corner into your corridor that your cell was near the other end of. On the way to your cell, you passed the lab with its door open. You looked into it as you passed and stopped in your tracks. Donghyuck was on the operating table they had in the middle of the room, being restrained by two guards as he whimpered and resisted. You watched as they clamped metal restraints over his wrists and ankles, keeping him in place. A doctor began to approach him with a scalpel in his hand when the two of you were noticed. The doctor gestured towards the guard who reach forward and slammed the door shut, the lock clicking afterwards.

You and Jeno shared a sad look. The familiar whirring noise of the doctor’s instruments radiated through the door and you winced. You both recognised that sound and knew what Donghyuck was about to be put though. Jeno’s arm came up to your back to begin to guide you back to your shared cell. You accepted and walked with him. You knew that there was nothing you could do.

You hadn’t even got halfway down the corridor before Donghyuck began to scream.

---

9 days had passed since your last lab visit, meaning that you would be back in there tonight. And you were. You hadn’t even finished eating when the guards came to collect you. The other boys watched you sadly as you were escorted away.

You lay down on the operating table waiting for them to proceed. You felt the two guards approach you and you instinctively began to draw yourself away.

‘Strap her down. We don’t have time for this.’ The doctor instructed, frustration already present in his tone.

The guard stepped towards you again, grabbing your hands and pushed them down onto the table you were lying at. He ignored your begs and pleads to let you go and, instead, clamped the metal restraints down over your wrists. He repeated this process with your feet, effectively locking you in place.

You struggled against the cuffs with all you might but couldn’t budge one bit. You were used to being cuffed at your wrists and ankles, but it was when the guard approached you with a large belt, strapping your stomach to the table, that you really began to freak out. Your whole body thrashed from side to side as you tried to break free, but eventually, you found yourself unable to move.

The doctor leaned forward and pushed the guard out of the way. You noticed that, for the first time, there were three doctors preparing to work on you, rather than the normal one. This, and the intense measures that they went to to ensure that you couldn’t move, caused your fear to shoot through the roof.

‘The new procedure today Doc?’ One of the younger doctors asked.

‘Yes. We should be able to get some good data.’ The doctor leaning over you answered. 

You whimpered slightly, terrified of what was about to happen. The doctor leaned further over you, adjusting the scalpel in his hand. You tried to move away from it, but you had no power. The other two doctors held you head and chest, exposing you neck.

You felt the small knife make a long incision on the back of your neck and you couldn’t stop the scream that ripped from your throat. Something was on this knife that was making it unbelievably painful.

‘Don’t panic, she’s just reacting to the acid that’s on the tools.’ The first doctor’s voice cut through.

Acid.

Whatever was happening to you, it was going to be the most painful experience of your life.

And it was.

You screamed and thrashed and sobbed, trying everything you could to escape the merciless torture that was being inflicted upon you. You were cut in areas, injected, and hit with other objects. The doctors measured you reactions to each of these and took notes on how your body reacted.

You eventually transcended the level of pain, you body and mind too broken for you to register the full extent of what you were going through. You couldn’t even scream anymore, your lungs and vocal cords exhausted from the amount you’d used them in the previous hours.

‘Ok that’s enough.’ You heard a voice say. You tried to pry your eyes open to see who was speaking, but you couldn’t move. You could barely even focus on the words that were being said.

‘It’s not your job to tell us what to do.’ You recognised the main doctor’s voice.

The previous voice replied again. ‘It’s my job to keep them alive. Now stop.’

You managed to pry open your eyes and noticed a guard standing in front of the doctor, staring him down. You could’t process what was going on. The guards never stood up for you.

However, something in the guard’s words made the doctor turn back towards you, and when he saw the state that you were in, he swore.

‘Fuck.’ The words left his mouth softly and he suddenly began to rummage through the drawers. ‘Save the data, we need to eradicate this experience. She couldn’t take as much as we thought she could.’

The younger doctor’s voice piped up, a sentence that sent a chill down your spine. ‘We could try it on subject A3. The higher levels of speed mean that he heals faster, we would probably get further on him.’

‘Good idea.’ The first doctor replied.

Subject A3... Mark.

‘Now this is going to wake her up for about thirty seconds before knocking her out again. But she still isn’t going to have control over her limbs so you need to get her back to her cell, understand?’

You assumed the doctor was talking to the guard, but your eyes had closed again. The weight of your eyelids being too much to hold open in your current state. You tried to protest as the doctor tiled your head to the side, but all that came out was a choked whine. You hissed as the needle pierced your skin and something was injected into you.

You head spun violently as your body registered the new drug and you felt as though you were going to throw up. Your eye shot open as you gulped for air, your newly freed arms coming up to scratch at you throat.

Not even two seconds later, your entire body was numb. You couldn’t move, stand or pick yourself up even if you wanted to. The guard approached you, holding one of your arms over his shoulder and supporting your waist with the other. He lifted you up and walked you out of the door. Until the doctor’s voice caused a sudden stop to his movements

‘Ten? Not a word of this to anyone.’

The guard, Ten, didn’t move, didn’t even turn back to look at the doctor, but he didn’t need to in order to understand the threat. He made his way down the corridor, swearing as you slipped slightly from his grip. You watched the floor begin to spin under you feet as you were carried back to your cell. He finally reached the door, swiping his key card in the lock and kicking it open before throwing you back inside.

Your limp body hit the floor with a hard thud and the door closed behind the guard as he exited, locking with a click and a buzz. The ceiling spun above you and you couldn’t move to pull yourself up from the floor to get to your bed. You just registered Jeno’s worried face coming into your vision when it all went black.

---

You woke to the same high pitched beeping you did every morning. This time, however, to the view of Jeno’s head on your bed too. He had fallen asleep on the floor, watching over you throughout the night.

He stirred slightly, groaning as the beeping woke him from his slumber. He lifted his head, turning suddenly to look at you, his eyes widening when he saw that you were awake.

‘Y/n? Are you okay?’ He asked, concern etched on his features.

You opened your mouth to speak, but all that came out was a hoarse croak. You throat burned from the previous night and you winced at the pain. Jeno stood quickly, running into the bathroom to get you a glass of water. He came back and handed it you, watching as you gulped it down.

‘What did they do to you?’ He whispered, watching you form sadly. 

‘I don’t know.’ You whispered back, unable to speak any louder.

The door buzzed open and a guard walked in, the number 10 easily visible on the strap on his upper right arm. He placed the new grey jumpsuits on the end of your bed began to walk away again. The guard stopped in the doorway and turned back.

‘The rose room has been cancelled.’ He informed the two of you. ‘Instead, you train in the morning, then go for lunch and have a free afternoon. Get out of bed y/n.’

Both yours and Jeno’s heads shot towards the guard as he left, the two of you frozen in shock as the door locked shut.

‘Tell me you heard that too.’ Jeno breathed.

‘Yep.’ You confirmed, your brain running at a mile a minute.

‘They never address us by our names.’ He stated, and he was right. You were always addressed by subject number, nothing else.

‘Yep.’ You repeated.

‘Only by subject number.’

‘Yep.’

‘What do you think it means?’ He asked, turning away from the shut door to look at you.

‘I don’t know.’ You shook your head, your eyes still locked on the cell door that was staring back at you.

‘Why was it only you?’ Jeno wondered aloud.

‘I don’t know.’ You knew about as much as Jeno did so you honestly had no idea why he was asking you all these questions.

‘How do you feel about it?’

You paused, not knowing how to answer the final question that, for some reason, made your blood run cold. You turned to look at him.

‘... I don’t know.’

---

You and Jeno were the last to enter the training room. You both scanned the guards surrounding you all, but when none of them had the number 10 on their armour, you shared a disappointed look. Before arriving, you had decided to keep a look out for that guard, to see if there was something that separated him from the others. Something you could notice that would give you a reason as to why he used your name rather than your number. Once the eight of you were in the room, the guards turned and left, shutting the door behind them. You all stared at the shut door, then at each other. You had never been left alone in the training room before. Never.

What was wrong with this day?

You walked towards the physical agility station, confused when you saw Chenle standing there, preparing for his training. You weren’t sure why he was there when it was your turn for that station. He turned around when you approached him, his confused features mirroring your own.

‘Umm I’m meant to be on this station today.’ You informed him, not quite understanding why he didn’t already know that. You had all been on this training timetable for as long as you could remember.

‘No you’re not.’ Chenle replied bluntly, staring at you as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

‘Yeah, I am.’ Chenle shook his head at you but you persisted. ‘Yes, I am! I was on distance training yesterday so now I’m on this. Aren’t you on strength and conditioning?’ You stared at him expectantly but instead watched as worry spread across his face.

‘Y/n...’ His voice was low, quite as if he wasn’t sure how to tell you this. ‘You did physical agility three days ago.’

‘What do you mean?’ You asked, unable to quite wrap your mind around this new piece of information.

‘I mean you did this activity three days ago.’ He repeated, his eyes widening with worry. ‘Don’t you remember?’

You shook your head and took a shaky step back. By this point the other boys had begun to notice the conversation between the two of you, prompting them to come over and see what was wrong. Jeno placed a hand on your should, having just overheard the last two sentences.

‘Y/n, what do you remember?’ He looked you straight in the eyes.

‘I don’t know.’ You repeated the words you had already said multiple times today, fear and frustration growing. 

‘What did they do to you in that lab?’ He questioned, desperate for an answer.

‘I don’t know.’ You could hear the emotion creeping out in your voice.

‘Think!’ Jeno said, shaking you by the shoulders gently.

‘I don’t know! I don’t remember!’ You raised your voice, your body beginning to shake. All of the other boys stared at you in horror and you fell into Jeno’s hug whispering a scared. ‘Why don’t I remember?’

It was Jaemin’s voice that spoke the words you were all thinking but too afraid to say, scared of what it would mean for you all.

‘They wiped her memory.’

---

You eyes opened to the harsh light above you as the same rhythmic beeping woke you up. Even though you have woke up to the same noise for as long as you can remember, it still drives you insane to listen to it.

You rolled over, pulling your pillow over your head as you waited for it to stop. You felt a weight on the side of your bed and hands gently pull the pillow off your face. You opened one eye to be greeted with Jeno’s smiling face. You couldn’t help but let out a smile at the little crescents his eyes made each time he smiled. It always managed to make you happy as well.

You rolled onto your back and shut your eyes again, pulling one arm over to help block out some of the light that was still making its way though. Jeno’s hand came up to rub your arm comfortingly.

‘How are you feeling today?’ He asked, his voice slightly raspy from just having woken up.

You groaned out as a response

‘I don’t know. Better, I guess. We talked about it a lot yesterday which helped. At least now we know how much I’m missing.’

You removed your arm from your eyes and looked at the boy above you who was nodding.

‘Three days, including an entire visit to the lab. We have to assume that something happened that they didn’t want you to remember.’ He mused, the logical and rational side of his brain showing.

‘But what?’ You wondered. It annoyed you so much that the only person who had these answers was you, and you couldn’t even remember them.

The cell door buzzed and a guard walked in. You lifted your head to get a look at his number. 23. No luck. He threw the jumpsuits onto the end of your bed and then proceeded to stare at the two of you.

‘Stay apart. No need to be that close.’ He ordered, but neither of you moved. ‘I said, keep distance between the two of you. Stay on your own bed!’ 

He took a step forward, as if he was preparing to pull the two of you away from each other, but you acted faster. You threw your hand out, making a pushing motion and watched as the guard flew out of the door, landing on his bum a few feet back. 

He stumbled to his feet, attempting to stammer out an insult or some other kind of attempt to show off his power, but instead just settled on slamming the door shut. 

The lock buzzed and Jeno turned to look at you, shock and amazement clear on his face.

‘How did you manage that? That took almost no effort.’

You sighed.

‘I’m tired.’

Jeno’s brows furrowed at your reply.

‘But you’re like me in that being tired means it takes more effort and focus to use your abilities.’

You nodded at him as you explained yourself.

‘Yep. But I’m not that kind of tired. I mean I am, but most of all, I’m tired of this. This life, whatever it is. I’m tired of being treated like I’m a monster, I’m tired of the experiments, I’m tired of the training, I’m fed up with being here.’ You turned your head to look at Jeno after your confession and watched as he nodded with a sad but understanding smile on his face.

‘Yeah... me too.’ He admitted, his voice soft.

‘I know.’ You whispered.

---

You exited your cell, ready for the day and saw guards lined up by your door. You and Jeno shared a confused look, wondering where the doctor’s were, when the guard next to Jisung began to speak.

‘From now on, we’ll be administering your serum.’ He then turned to the boy in front of him. ‘Arm out.’

The guard by your door did the same, grabbing your wrist and exposing your inner elbow. He placed the syringe just below the joint and pressed down. You winced at the feeling that you were unfortunately used to and stepped away so that Jeno could get his. You then waited for the usual symptoms to hit you, watching as your friends turned into the comatose shells of themselves that you were expecting.

But they never came.

Your mind remained as sharp and aware as ever, and you could feel every thought that ran through your mind. You turned back to look at Jeno and, one look at his eyes told you that he was feeling the exact same thing. Your eyes flickered towards the guard who administered your serum and you focused on the number on his arm.

10.

Jeno followed your gaze and looked back at you with wide eyes. The guard began to walk towards the two of you and, out of the corner of your eye, you could see the other guards doing the same so you didn’t think too much of it. Until he began to speak.

‘You’re heading to the rose room.’ He then made sure to look the both of you directly in the eyes. ‘And you’re under the usual effects of the serum.’

With that, he turned and walked away, leaving both you and Jeno alone. You decided to just do what he said and head to the rose room, but you made sure to act as though you were feeling the usual effects of the serum. You moved lethargically, dragging your feet and keeping your eyes ahead at all times. Jeno did the same, both of you faking it the entire way there, while wondering what the hell was going on.

---

You stood at your usual position in the rose room, gathering ingredients and putting them on the conveyer belt like you always did. When you entered the room it was hard not to react to anything. The range of brilliant colours blinded you as you entered and it took everything in you not to just stop and stare.

You noticed that, out of the all the subjects there, that you guessed would be around one hundred, it only looked like your group was under the serum. The rest of them seemed very much aware of their surroundings and what they were doing. When gathering the ingredients you took a quick look at what it was exactly that you were gathering. When you got a glimpse of the label, your heart stopped. These were the same bottles that were found in the lab. It wasn’t until you managed to look over every different object obtained from the genetically modified roses, that you realised you had spent your entire life gathering the solutions and serums that the doctors had used to perform experiments on you.

You had been assisting in your own torture.

You found yourself standing at your final station, a girl you didn’t recognise on your right and the space to your left was empty. The guards began to march between you all, weaving their way through the working subjects. They stopped next to you, so close that you could feel their breath on the back on your neck.

The hairs on your arm began to rise and goosebumps began to form at the close contact. You prayed that they couldn’t see your reaction, knowing that it would give away your state. But they weren’t there for you.

The guards grabbed the girl on your right by her shoulders and pulled her backwards. They held her underneath each arm and dragged her out of the rose room. Her screams, struggles and pleas for help went completely ignored as she was eventually pulled out of sight. No one took any notice, not single subject seemed to realise what had just happened. You could her your heart pounding louder than every before, the girl’s screams still echoing in your head, haunting your thoughts.

A sudden bell sounded through the rose room, one that you recognised as signalling the end of the session. You turned in your spot, waiting for your turn to leave as all the subjects filed out of the rose room in orderly fashion. The fact that the girl was taken at the end of the session made you nervous. Is that what the guards were doing when walking through you all? Looking for their next target? And how long it would be until it was one of you?

---

After the longest day yet, you and Jeno were back in your cell. The door locked behind you and you both turned and stared at each other in disbelief.

‘How much have we missed by being under the serum?’ You asked.

‘They must only put us under it so that they can get away with doing all those things, it’s not to protect us at all.’ Jeno stated and you nodded in agreement.

‘And did you see what we were gathering in the rose room?’ You brought up, watching as Jeno’s eyes widened in realisation.

‘The solutions they use in the lab! And what did they do to that poor girl?’ His voice softened as you both thought about the subject being dragged away from you all, begging for help.

‘I didn’t even know her name.’ You muttered.

‘Me neither.’ Jeno admitted. ‘But did you notice, I don’t think anyone other than our group was under the simulation.’

‘Yes!’ You agreed. ‘I saw that too. Everyone else seemed perfectly aware of what was going on.’

Jeno nodded and you sat down on your bed, your brain feeling as though it was about to explode.

‘Huh...’ You mumbled, a sudden thought crossing your mind.

Jeno turned his head towards you, his eyebrows furrowing at the confused look on your face.

‘What?’ He questioned.

‘It’s just... the other subjects were definitely awake. It was obvious that they hadn’t been given the serum that we normally are. So, why didn’t they react to that girl being taken by the guards.’ You pondered.

Jeno thought for a moment, sitting down on his own bed opposite you.

‘Maybe they’re used to it.’ He suggested. ‘We don’t know how often that happens, it could be considered normal.’

‘I guess.’ You conceded. ‘But they didn’t react at all... I mean, even if you’re used to it, she was screaming for her life and they didn’t even spare a glance. It’s strange not to take any notice of that. I mean, we only didn’t because we had to act as if we were still under the serum.’

Jeno didn’t reply for a second, his eyes fixated on his hands that fiddling were in his lap.

‘Why do you think we weren’t given the serum?’ He asked, looking up at you.

You opened your mouth to tell him that you had no idea, but the lock on your door buzzed, and it swung open. Four guards stalked in causing you and Jeno to both stand out of shock. You were never disturbed at this time unless it was to take you to the lab, and it was Renjun’s night tonight.

Two of the guards approached you, the other two heading towards Jeno.

‘What’s happening?’ Jeno asked, but he was ignored.

Not a words was uttered by the guards as they grabbed you by the arms and began to drag you out of your cell. You began to kick and scream, struggling with all your might to break free.

‘Jesus, why can’t she go quiet?’ One of the guards complained, earning a groan from his partner.

‘Just get her to the lab and stop complaining.’

The lab...

You began to throw yourself about, desperate to not go back there, whatever the cost. You had no idea what it was that was making you react this violently, but your instincts kicked it and told you to fight with all your might.

Upon seeing you reaction, Jeno tried to reach for you, but he was stopped by the other two guards who grabbed him by the shoulders and forced him back. They held onto him tight as he tried to break through them.

‘Y/n! Let go!’ He yelled out, trying to land a hit on one of the guards.

‘Jeno!’ You called back, kicking out with your feet in an attempt to throw the guards off balance.

‘Y/N!’ You could hear Jeno crying out for you as you were pulled out of the cell completely. You just managed to see the two guards holding Jeno throw him to the floor before they turned to leave. They locked the door, with you on the outside and Jeno on the inside.

You continued to be dragged away, crying out for dear life, begging someone to come and help you. But no one did. They all acted as if you didn’t exist. You couldn’t help but wonder if this was how that girl had felt earlier. Screaming and pleading for someone to save her, only to be treated like a ghost.

Jeno’s screams for you could still be heard halfway down the corridor, along with the heavy banging against the door from him throwing his body against it in an attempt to get out.

As you approached the lab door, every morsel of your being was telling you, screaming at you, not to go back in there. But you didn’t have a choice. The two guards threw you into the lab, one of them following you in, before the door was locked shut. You were stuck in the lab with one doctor and one guard, and you were terrified.

You banged on the door, trying desperately to get out. You were so frantic that you couldn’t hear the doctor trying to get your attention. It was only when you realised that they were making no effort to restrain or cuff you that you managed to calm yourself down slightly.

You turned away from the door, the tear tracks down your face prominent. You weren’t sure when you had started crying, the utter terror you had been feeling having taken over your entire body.

The doctor took one step towards you, holding up his hands as if in surrender, but also to show you that he wasn’t holding anything.

‘Well done y/n. Just try to keep yourself calm okay? Breathe... Can you do that for me?’

You didn’t reply to him, simply staring at the man that seemed to act as if he cared for you. These doctors didn’t care for you. Normally you would be handcuffed to the table, screaming in pain by now, but for some reason you were standing upright being told to breathe.

The guard to your left took off his helmet, causing you to take a breath of surprise. You had never seen a guard with his helmet off before, much less one this close. You gawked as the man smiled at you, a genuine, comforting smile that for some reason made you feel safe.

The doctor began to speak again.

‘Y/n, we’re not going to hurt you. In fact, we’re trying to help you. My name’s Doyoung and this is Ten.’ 

‘Uh huh...’ You stuttered, not really managing to get any real words out.

‘Ten administered your serum this morning, the serum I created for you. And you probably don’t need me to tell you that it was a fake.’

You nodded at the doctor’s words, still trying to calm your racing heart.

‘We did that because there’s a lot that you don’t know about this place that we think you should.’ The doctor, Doyoung, then turned to the guard. ‘Ten can you get her some water?’

The guard, who you assumed went by his uniform number 10, nodded before standing up.

‘Do you want to sit down?’ Doyoung asked, pulling up a chair for you.

You nodded, gladly taking the chair and very grateful that he didn’t ask you to sit on the table. Ten offered you a glass of water, which you took with a small smile as thanks. You took a sip, relishing in how the cool liquid managed to calm your mind.

‘Ok, keep going.’ You said and Doyoung’s eyebrows raised in surprise. ‘Why are you surprised? Like you said, after what I’ve seen today, I’m not so sure that this place is really meant to keep me safe.’

Doyoung sighed and looked down sadly.

‘It isn’t. This place isn’t designed to keep you safe, but rather to keep you in. It’s a prison. I know that to you it seems as though there are hundreds of people here, but there aren’t. Only the eight of you on your floor are being kept here.’

You let out a deep breath you didn’t even know you were holding.

‘A prison...’ You whispered. ‘Only for the eight of us?’

Doyoung nodded and Ten placed a comforting hand on your shoulder.

‘Why us?’ You asked.

Doyoung and Ten shared a look, making you dread what was coming next.

‘Please, just tell me what I am.’ You begged, so tired of having spent your entire life not knowing the most basic thing about you.

‘Doyoung, she needs to know.’ Ten said, as Doyoung sighed.

‘Yeah, I know. There’s no easy way to tell you this y/n. The world fell into chaos slightly. Political leaders began to clash more and more with each other and, before we knew it, we were on the brink of a third world war. One that, this time, really would involve the whole world, and with the creation of nuclear weapons, our government want something that would set us apart from everywhere else. He decided to turn his intentions to modifying humans. He exposed children to certain chemicals and levels of radiation when they were young to see if anything had an affect on them. Eventually he found success, but at a very large cost.’

‘How large?’ You whispered, scared of the answer. Ten spoke up this time, making you turn your head towards him.

‘He tested on over three hundred thousand children. You eight are the only survivors.’

You didn’t know how to react. Eight out of three hundred thousand. Who would be willing to pay that high of a price?

‘What does that make me? A weapon?’ You asked, your voice quiet, almost inaudible.

‘You were human, at some point. Now, we’re not sure. I would believe the closest definition is a mutant of some kind, but y/n, you have to remember that this doesn’t define you.’ Doyoung leaned forward but you shook your head.

‘I’m not human, I’m a mutant, a weapon, an experiment. I’m nothing more than an experiment, a toy for you to play with in your lab. That why I’m prisoner here. I’m a monster.’ You were spiralling, caught up in a mess of reality and new information, you couldn’t control where your mind was heading.

‘Y/n, Doyoung is right, this doesn’t define who you are.’ Ten tried to reassure you but you whirled on him.

‘Doesn’t define me? Yes it does! It literally is what I am, how can you say it doesn’t define me?’ You accused.

‘Because you’re more than that! Beneath all that’s been done to you, all we’ve done to you, we know that you’re people. You are human, you think and feel as we do, you love like we do, you die like we do. And who gives a damn about what made you what you are. It’s who you are that matters.’ Doyoung stood up during his small speech. He somehow managed to verbally slap some sense into you, allowing you a brief moment to calm your mind.

‘The others need to know.’ You blurted, your thoughts suddenly drifting back to Jeno.

‘Yes, and we will tell them.’ Ten reassured.

‘Tonight.’ You insisted. ‘They’ve been through exactly the same thing I have. Why should I get to know the truth and they shouldn’t?’

Both Doyoung and Ten looked at each other, having short, silent conversation before Doyoung sighed and agreed with you.

‘Ok, tonight. Ten go and fetch them from their cells. The doors are locked so the corridors should be empty of guards.’

Ten nodded and left the room quickly, stopping briefly to scan the hallways and only continuing once he knew it was clear. The door automatically shut softly behind him. You suddenly remembered something else Doyoung said, causing you to turn back to face him once more.

‘What changed your mind?’ You asked, only receiving a very confused look from the doctor in return. ‘You’ve worked on us for years, as a trainee then as a real doctor. You haven’t had this position long, so why are you risking everything you’ve worked for? When did you start to think of us as humans?’

A guilty look crossed Doyoung’s face.

‘I’ve done some terrible things to you, to all of you, over the years, and I cannot apologise enough for that. I always thought... that we were doing the right thing, the thing that should be done. We needed something to set us apart or, before we knew it, we would be a speck of dust on the ground, bombed within an inch of our lives. But that was over ten years ago, and you guys haven’t left the facility once. I kept telling myself that it would be worth it, that this was all being done for a reason, and that you would understand that. But then I was in the lab and something made me look at a subject differently. The way he acted, it was something so vulnerable, so human, that it changed my perspective completely.’

‘What was it?’ You asked, immersed in Doyoung emotional words.

‘It was Jeno. He was undergoing a procedure that had been done a thousand times before, but the head doctor that day decided to make some changes. I don’t know what he did, but Jeno started to scream, and not just shout out in a bit of pain, I mean, properly scream. I could hear the strain on his vocal cords and he started crying out and begging for help like I had never heard anyone beg before and he kept calling for the same person over and over.’

‘Who did he call out for?’ Your voice was shaking slightly, your emotions running high at the thought of what could have made Jeno scream out like that.

Doyoung looked at you, complete sincerity in his eyes.

‘You. He called out for you.’

Before you could reply, or even process this information, the door to the lab burst open and the other boys all piled in. Jeno spotted you, alive, awake and well and made his way towards you immediately. He pulled you in for a tight hug as soon as he reached you, wrapping his arms securely around your waist. 

‘Oh thank god, you’re okay.’ He whispered. He pulled back and brushed the hair out of your face, holding your cheeks in his hands while he searched your face for any sign of pain. ‘Are you okay?’

You nodded in response. ‘Yeah I’m okay. But you guys need to hear this.’

You watched as Doyoung and Ten explained to the other boys what they had just told you. You watched as they went through exactly the same reactions that you did. And you watched as each of them managed to process this information in their own way.

‘There’s only one thing left to tell you all.’ Ten said, watching as eight pairs of scared eyes looked up at him. ‘We’re going to break you out.’

‘I’m sorry, you’re gonna what?’ Renjun asked, voicing the shock you were all feeling.

‘You’re more than just subjects, more than just experiments, you’re people. And you don’t get the chance to just be people when you’re trapped here. So tomorrow, we’re gonna break you out.’ Doyoung explained.

‘Tomorrow?’ Chenle questioned and both Doyoung and Ten nodded in confirmation.

‘What’s happens after that? Where do we go next? All we’ve known is this facility, so what will we do outside of it?’ Jaemin piped up, thankfully thinking ahead for all of you.

‘I already have a truck ready for us to escape in tomorrow, from there we will drive out of range so that they can’t detect us. Doyoung and I know some people who are willing to help. We’ll stay with them for a while and then, eventually, reintegrate the eight of you back into the world, and allow you to lie the normal life you’ve always been deprived of.’ Ten spoke. You sat there silently, just taking all this information in. You were getting out, and not only that, but also going to get the life you never thought you would ever be able to. You weren’t sure what life would be like on the outside, but as long as you had the guys there, you knew you would be okay.

You felt a pair of eyes on you and turned your head, only to catch Jeno staring at you with an unreadable expression on his face. He looked away as soon as you noticed him, clearing his throat before asking one last question.

‘So... how are we getting out of here?’

---

You lay in bed that night, unable to sleep. You knew that you could probably do with a good rest, but your mind was so active that it was impossible. You couldn’t tell if Jeno was awake too, worried that if he wasn’t you might wake him from your constant moving. Doyoung revelation about him calling out for you when in pain was plaguing your mind as well. You had often found yourself thinking of Jeno when you were undergoing procedures in the lab, but you had always dismissed it as wondering what state you would be in when you were returned to your roommate. Was it possible that it was something more? You can’t deny that you’ve felt something for Jeno, he was kind, compassionate, empathetic and so damn loyal to you.

‘Y/n?’ Jeno’s voice disrupted your thoughts, causing you to jump out of your skin.

You swallowed before replying.

‘Yeah?’

‘Oh you’re awake too.’ He mumbled.

‘Yeah... I can’t sleep.’ You admitted.

‘Me neither.’

The conversation stopped for a minute and, for the first time since you met him, you didn’t know what to say to Jeno. You felt colder in your bed than you ever had before and you wanted nothing more than to crawl into his and fall asleep there.

‘Y/n?’ Jeno spoke again, much softer this time.

‘Yeah?’ You whispered back.

‘I’m cold...’ He confessed and you could almost hear the blush that you knew would be dusting his cheeks.

Before you let the surge of courage you felt pass, you climbed out of your bed and padded softly over to his.

‘Move over.’ You instructed, gently tapping his side.

He did just as you told him too, moving himself to the edge so that you could climb in. You lay facing each other for a while and you found yourself unable to tear your gaze away from his eyes. He lifted up a hand to move a stray piece of hair out of your face and sighed.

You shut your eyes slowly, hoping that by being closer to him you would be able to get some rest. The only problem was, the beds that you slept on were not the largest and could only really fit one person. You found yourself almost pressed up against his chest and that made it very hard for you to calm your rapidly beating heart.

‘Hold on, bear with me for a second.’ Jeno mumbled as he moved himself around slightly. You squeaked in surprise when you felt his hands come to waist, pulling you halfway onto his chest as he settled down on his back.

‘Is this ok?’ He asked hesitantly, and you nodded in response.

Even though you were practically lying on top of him, you couldn’t deny that this position was much more comfortable. From here you could hear his heartbeat and you allowed the consistent rhythm of it to help lull you to sleep.

You wrapped your arm around his waist, the other coming up to rest on his chest as his arms found their way around your shoulder and stroking your hair. You closed your eyes and felt yourself finally drift off to sleep, almost missing the soft sentence Jeno whispered into your hair.

‘I don’t know what will happen once we get out of here, but please just... don’t leave me. I think I need you more than you know.’

---

For as long as you can remember, you have woken up to the sound of the high pitched repetitive beep of the alarm. Not today.

You were quickly pulled out of your sleep to the sound of alarms blaring, red lights flashing and shouting in the corridor. You and Jeno shared a sleepy but scared look before quickly climbing out of bed. You bit your lip slightly in embarrassment as you remembered the position that the two of you slept in last night. Jeno approached your door and pushed on it gently. The door swung open and the two of you stared in disbelief.

You followed him out into the corridor and found yourself standing in the middle of the chaos. Guards and doctors were running up and down the corridors shouting commands and arguing with each other while the eight of you all stood in your doorways, confused to high heavens.

‘Grab them now!’ You heard one of the doctors yell as you were finally noticed. ‘They’re not getting away.’

You saw a guard lunge for Chenle, who quickly turned into a fly and disappeared from sight. Three other guards ran towards you and Jeno, their intentions obvious and the two of you immediately began to move. Jeno threw up a gust of air, knocking them off their feet, while you pulled doors open and moved their legs so that they were constantly tripping over.

‘Guys we have to get out of here now!’ Mark yelled over the noise.

He suddenly appeared from nowhere, making you jump.

‘They somehow found out about our plan, either we leave now, or we’re never getting out.’ And with that he was gone, disappearing at the speed of light.

Jeno opened up a hailstorm on the guard in front of him, his efforts useless against the tough armour that they were wearing. You pulled out a metal drawer from one of the cells and used your telekinesis to ram in into the guard’s leg.

He crumpled where he stood, his head landing hard on the concrete. Your eyes went wide as he lay there unmoving for a second, until he let out a breath and groaned in pain. Jeno’s grabbed your arm and shouted something at you that you didn’t quite catch, you eye still fixated on the guard in front of you.

You really were dangerous. You had hurt someone. And it had taken very little effort from you to do so. What could you do if you really wanted to hurt someone? How badly could you hurt someone without meaning to? 

You lost focus on your surroundings, Jeno’s sudden pull on your arm causing you to lose balance. You managed not to fall over, but it slowed you down. You forced yourself to focus, to think rationally, to prioritise leaving and then you could figure out the extent of your abilities.

But you were too late. One of the doctors noticed your stumble and grabbed a taser from a fallen guard. They quickly pushed it into, electrocuting you where you stood. You mouth fell open as a scream tore out of it and your body collapsed onto the ground.

Your mind went fuzzy, everything around you slowing down as you tried to take it all in. You vaguely registered Jeno screaming out for you as you lay on the cold floor. You lifted your eyes and stared into the open door in front of you. It took you a few seconds to realise that you were staring into the lab. You watched as one of the guards cornered Doyoung, who stood with his hands up trying to explain something. They didn’t listen however, and you watched as the guard pulled a gun out of nowhere and squeezed the trigger.

Doyoung doubled over, a red patch forming on his stomach. His back hit the counter behind him and he sank down towards the ground, the pain evident on his face. The red mark on his shirt was growing by the second until it covered half of his lower stomach. You found yourself staring into the dull, lifeless eyes of the one doctor here who had actually tried to look out for you.

Your eyes welled up with tears, blurring your vision. You barely felt the arms that hooked under your elbows and began to drag you down the corridor. The last things you registered before you blacked out were Jeno screaming for you, and Doyoung’s dead body.

--- 

‘God this kid is a pain.’

‘I know man, I don’t get why we have to be stuck here with her.’

‘Doyoung though? Hmmm, I didn’t see that betrayal coming.’

‘Really? Out of everyone, I’m least surprised that it was him. He always had the weakest stomach when it came to things like this.’

You heard the voices before you even realised that you were awake. The guards in your room were having a casual chat while they waited for you to wake up. Your head was pounding and your mouth tasted like pennies. You scrunched up your face in discomfort, trying to open your eyes but with little success.

‘Oh, look. I think she’s coming back...’

You groaned out slightly, your mind suddenly becoming aware of the pain your body was in. You forced your eyes open, regretting that choice as soon as you were blinded by the harsh white light of whatever room you were currently being kept in.

You blinked a couple of times, trying to adjust to your surroundings, before taking a quick look around. You definitely weren’t in your cell anymore. You found yourself chained to the wall, literally. There were heavy metal cuffs around your wrists, ankles, stomach and even your neck. Each of those cuffs were attached to a chain that was embedded into the wall behind you.

They had taken every measure possible to imprison you somewhere they knew you wouldn’t be able to escape from.

You lifted your head and found yourself staring at two guards, both with their helmets off. They looked at you with such patronising looks on their faces, but you couldn’t focus on them. Your eyes were trained on the cupboard behind them, an open cupboard that you could see was filled with guard uniforms.

One of the guards followed your line of sight and laughed.

‘You’re not in our cloak room, don’t worry sweet heart. You’re in the maximum security room at the end of the hall.’ 

Your blood ran cold at his revelation. No one who entered this room ever made it out alive. But then, that was before you learnt that there were only eight of you actually being held in this facility... You really had no idea what this meant for you.

‘Allow me to explain.’ The other guard took a step forwards. ‘Every time you get drugged and tiptoe off the the rose room to do your work, we walk in and grab a random person standing next to one of you and drag them back here. Now their job is to just scream and kick and draw as much attention to themselves as they can while everyone else ignores them. Once they get here do you know what they do? They get back into their guard uniform and go back to work. All those people you know, everyone in the rose room with you, all of them are one of us.’ He let out a laugh. ‘I can’t believe you were stupid enough to think that they were real subjects!’

The first guard joined in, enjoying taunting you when you were at your most vulnerable.

‘God you really are stupid aren’t you?’ He commented. ‘You thought you were getting out? You’re never going to get out of here. You’re simply going to be stuck here for the rest of your life.’

The other guard laughed again.

‘Yeah, you know that war you were made for. It’s not going to happen so you really aren’t ever getting out. You’re too scared to hurt one of us, how would you ever be useful in a war?’

‘God you’re such a waste of space. I can’t believe that out of the hundreds of thousands that went through the initial testing, she was one of the few to survive.’

‘Tell me about it. Why is she even in maximum security? She probably wouldn’t hurt a fly.’

The guards continued with their taunts, each one crueler than the last. You tried everything you could to block them out, but it was difficult. Especially when they were right, you had been useless. It’s because you were too scared to hurt a guard’s leg that all of you are stuck here forever. This is your fault.

‘No it isn’t.’ Jaemin’s voice echoed through your head, startling you. ‘Ignore them y/n. None of this is your fault, it’s theirs. Don’t forget who put you there in the first place. Now, listen to me, you need to get out of there. Now. I don’t care how you do it, but y/n, it’s time to go.’

The guards continued to taunt you, telling you how powerless you were and you started to feel your anger grow. Jaemin was right, these people did put you in here. They imprisoned you, tortured you and the people you care about. They put you through hours upon hours of pain, just to tell you that you weren’t good enough.

You pulled your hands closed into fists and focused your mind like you never have before. You channelled your anger into your being, thinking of everything you’ve lost, everything they’ve taken from you. A family, a normal life, the ability to just be human. You felt the power rumble from within you. It was like nothing you had ever felt before. It grew from your soul, feeding off your raw emotions, evolving and mutating as it made its way throughout your limbs. It finally reached your head and your opened your eyes. They were pure gold.

The guards stopped their conversation and stared at you in fear, completely at a loss as to what they should do.

You finally understood. You weren’t human. You were so much more than that. And it was time they learnt just how powerful you could be.

You threw your head back, and screamed.

You unleashed all the power within you as a sheer bolt of energy. The chains imprisoning you shattered, falling to the floor. The guards were throw backwards, both of them hitting the wall with a sickening crack, and your door was blown off its hinges. You stood and began to move, feeling every part and every being in the universe working with you and you knew, this is what true power felt like.

You had no idea how to come down from it, you were so taken over that you didn’t feel the hand that gently found its way into yours until you were being turned where you stood and found yourself looking into Jeno’s eyes.

‘Come back to me y/n.’ He whispered, pulling you into his chest and stroking your hair. You let go of all the anger you were feeling, choosing instead to ground yourself with the boy in front of you. ‘We have to go.’

‘I heard.’ You mumbled, pulling yourself away from him chest.

You ran through the corridor, gathering all the boys on the way. Jeno had managed to create a mini hurricane in his room, effectively blowing his way out of the cell he was in. Jisung quite literally just barrelled straight through his door, but he once again misjudged his strength and couldn’t stop himself. He kept going straight into the door on the opposite side of the corridor, luckily bursting it open it for Renjun.

It the situation weren’t so dire you probably would have fallen over laughing at the scene in front of you. 

Chenle turned into a midge and flew through the key hole of his cell door, making you admire the boy’s talent to find a loophole in every scenario. Jaemin used his mind control to get the guard who was watching him to open the door for him. Also making the guard bow for him as he walked out as a finishing touch. You couldn’t help but smile at that. Jisung pulled off the doors of both Mark’s and Donghyuck’s cells and the eight of you ran.

You turned a corner and barrelled straight into a guard. All of you threw up your hands, ready to fight, until you saw that it was Ten. Instead of getting a punch in the face, Ten found himself with eight superhuman teens hugging him with all their might.

‘Ok, let’s do this later, the truck’s outside. Go!’

He pushed you all off his and pointed towards the door in front of you. You ran towards it, turning your head to the left as you passed the lab and not missing Doyoung’s body, still lying there on the floor. You swallowed back your tears, promising that you would mourn him properly later, and pushed forwards. You burst out of the doors, shocked beyond belief to find yourself in a lobby of some kind. Your entire life, you thought you had been in the sub basement section of a facility, but really you had been above ground the whole time.

You didn’t have time to marvel however, because, as soon as you were spotted, the alarms went off. They blared through the building and you took that as your cue to leave.

Jisung ran first, easily breaking the main doors open, despite their heavy lock, and the eight of you poured outside. You saw the truck that Ten had mentioned, the trademark number 10 a sign that it was yours. It was on the outside of the barbed wire fence that surrounded the facility. The fence was too high to climb so you took a deep breath and held your arms out. You pulled them apart, imaging a rip and watched as the fence tore in two.

You all sprinted through the fence and piled into the truck that was waiting for you. There was a fabric roof and some metal beams making the skeleton on the inside so you held onto that as you climbed in. Mark moved around to the front seat and you look out, waiting for Ten. You needed him to drive this truck as none of you could. 

Ten finally appeared, running at full speed towards you.

‘Go!’ He screamed. ‘Just go!’

You wanted to shout back to him but you never got the chance to. The gunshot rang out loudly and Ten fell straight to the ground. He lay face down in the grass, not breathing, not moving a muscle. 

He was dead.

‘Mark... Mark drive. We need to go.’ Donghyuck’s shaky voice tore you out of your trance. Mark moved himself so that he was in the driver’s seat and turned the key.

‘Ok, I can figure this out.’ He reassured himself.

‘Well can you do it now because we have some rather unfriendly company arriving in about thirty seconds. And you don’t want to know what they’ll do if they catch us.’ Donghyuck warned, making all your eyes widen in fear. When the boy who can see the future tells you that something is going to happen, you’ve learnt that the best thing to do would be to listen to him.

Mark moved the gear stick into ‘D’ and slammed his foot down on a random pedal. Luckily he seemed to get the right one because you all lurched forwards, speeding away from the facility. Mark’s super speed means that he has extremely fast reflexes, making it very useful for when he needs to learn a new skill. He reacted quickly to the movements of the car and it didn’t take long before you were smoothly driving away from the prison that was also happened to be the only home you’ve ever know.

Renjun shuffled in his seat, facing his body out the back of the truck and towards the facility. He lifted up his hands, turning his palms out before suddenly clenching them into fists. He then sat back down, his back hitting the seat as he let out a deep sigh.

‘Just a quick image of an empty field. It’ll throw them off the scent long enough for us to get out of here.’ He explained before leaning his head back and shutting his eyes.

You looked back at the large building that was disappearing rapidly into the distance and thought of Doyoung and Ten. The two who risked everything so that you could all be where you are now. And they were the two who paid the ultimate price.

You felt your eyes beginning to droop, the gentle movements of the car lulling your tiring body to sleep. You felt Jeno’s arm come around your shoulder and you leant into his warmth, relishing in the comfort of being close to him. Only now did you realise how exhausted you really were. You allowed your head to fall onto Jeno’s shoulder, feeling his arm tighten slightly around you, and you felt safe.

For the first time, ever, you felt safe.

[arseneiic]

Short, sweet, and to the point. Follow these rules and we all have a great time.

1. Mutuals only. I must be following you and you must be following me. Only those that I follow can like starter calls, send in character asks, and reply to posts.

1a. I will not interact with non-Mutuals, that includes asks, unless it’s done anonymously and it doesn’t have a url attached.  Anyone who breaks this rule will get about a few pardons but after that will be blocked.

2. My time is limited here in what I can do. This means that I am very selective in what I reply to. Doesn’t necessary mean that I am ignoring anyone. Some days I reply to everything and everyone, others I am so burnt out from irl things or work that I just lurk and do the bare minimum. My mental health and well-being comes before anything else.

2a. Replies vary by length and time. I normally work eight to ten hours a day and experience a lot of exhaustion. Unless I don’t see a thread or an ask going anywhere and publicly make a post saying it’s been dropped, consider everything as pending / will do ASAP. Memes are okay to send in late unless it clearly states, not accepting. My timezone is Eastern Standard Time or EST. United States is where I am located at. I am usually online from 10 PM EST to 3 AM EST unless it’s a day off from work, which the online time will vary from 12 PM EST to 3 AM EST.

2b.  Role-playing is a hobby, not a job. Do not pester me for replies or asks to be answered. I am not obligated to owe anyone anything on this website. I am human and can’t cater to everyone’s needs.  Being persistent here is not going to make me answer yours faster than other people.

2c. Don’t follow, unfollow, and then refollow my blog. It’s not going to make me want to follow you back, ever. It’s annoying and no one is being crafty by doing that. If you continue to do this and it isn’t a tumblr glitch, I will be inclined to block and possibly report for spam.

3. If you do need to break mutuals with me, HARD BLOCK my blog. Don’t just UNFOLLOW or SOFT BLOCK because chances are that I could mistakenly follow you again. And that’s something we both don’t want since it would be quite awkward.

3a. I have the right to unfollow whoever I want to and so do you. Please don’t go on a hunt and try to guilt trip me into following you back again. Just don’t. I can and will tell you the reason why I unfollowed you but other than that, just let me leave in peace.

3b. Personal blogs and non RP blogs will be blocked on site. Please, if you have a side blog let me know through asks so I don’t accidentally block you. IMs are not a good way to let me know since they are closed for non-mutuals.

4. Duplicates are welcomed to follow me. The more the merrier. I do not suffer from same muse anxiety and encourage any of the same muse to follow me. Only request is that you don’t steal my headcanons, edits or icons. Other than that, we should all be able to have a good time. I’m always up for twin verses or alternate universes shenanigans.

4a. Original Characters are allowed to follow me. However, they need to be a little flesh out before I make a decision to follow them back or not. Just a small backstory or biography is all that I need. Headcanons also work if there isn’t an about page but must have about one page worth for me to consider following.

4b. Crossover Characters from other shows are allowed to follow me but I must know about said muse or else I’ll have a hard time whether to follow or not. Few fandoms I won’t interact with because I have no interest in these series are: Avatar the Last Airbender, Avatar the Legend of Korra. ( more to be added ).

5. I am a multi-ship blog. Arsene himself is ageless but his physical form is around 25 when he became a shadow / persona / demon and as such, I will only be shipping him romantically with muses around the 20s to 30s range. Some threads may get a little spicy but nothing that requires a ‘do not read at work’ type of posts. I will tag those post that are suggestive with a ‘spicy: tw & spicy for ts’ and ‘Looks like someone needs proper punishment’ for blacklisting purposes.

5a. I am open to all kinds of ships, not just romantic ones. I also enjoy platonic, rivalry, and familiar bonds. All ships are open to discussions through my IM(s) or otherwise known as Instant Messenger. Chemistry is key. As long as we interact a little, there’s always the chance that both muses can be in a relationship.

6. Things for you to tag for me are: BIRDS, CHAIN LETTERS, ORGANS, DOGS. For the birds and dogs, just in real life ones trigger me. I am fine with cartoon / art / video game ones as they are not real.

6a. Things I’ll tag for you: BLOOD, GORE, DEATH, BODY HORROR, EYE HORROR, INSECTS, MAGGOTS, BRUISES, SCARS, GUNS, KNIVES, CLOWNS. If there are anything I missed that you want tagged, please let me know through IM(s).

7. I am over the age of eighteen. However, I refuse to write smut as I am not comfortable with that subject to begin with. Please never force me to write this with you and if you keep sending things to me in this type of nature, I will report you, no questions asked.

7a. If I see any form of hate and I find out it was you that sent it, I will immediately BLOCK you. No questions asked. Life is too short to send unwanted hate, anon or not. All anon hate and hate towards me and my characters ( s ) in general will be reported and then blocked, no questions asked.

8. My pen name on here is SERE. Obviously, that is not my real name but it’s what I go by. It’s short for ‘Serena’, the English name that DIC gave Usagi Tsukino in the Americanized version of Sailor Moon. It’s pronounced; SIR-REE.

9. I am not a meme source. If you need to reblog a meme from my blog and don’t plan to send me anything, reblog from the source. I hardly get asks as it is, and for you to just use me as a meme source puts a bad taste in my mouth and I feel like I’m being used, which isn’t a good feeling. If you wonder if you should send in a meme to me, please do. I love getting asks. I do hoard them from time to time like a dragon hoards treasure but I do get to them eventually. The more memes / asks, the merrier.

9a.  Feel free to turn inbox replies into threads. Just remember to make separate post when replying. Do not reblog threads not meant for you and don’t reblog my headcanons. It’s okay to reblog my asks though if you want them to be keepsakes on your own blog. Also, it’s alright to reblog musings and images from me.

10. I rather not be bothered by callout posts and any potential drama that might accumulate. I am just here to have fun and I hope everyone else can too. Life is too short to spend on certain things that don’t matter in the long run. If I see multiple call out posts from you in a single day or that’s all you post, I will quietly unfollow you.

11.  Out of character posts will be on here from time to time. Mostly talking about life in general or me venting once in a great while. If this annoys you, please remember that this is my blog, not yours. You are welcomed to unfollow / block at any time.

11a.  The best way to interact with me is to send memes / asks / inbox things. I am always up for unprompted things in my inbox. Also, my instant messenger is always open if someone needs to contact me out of character or to plot something. Don’t hesitate to talk to me. I will try my best to respond.

11b. Not interacting after a month or two with me and my blog will make me silently unfollow you or result in a soft block. Or if you don’t interact with me at all, even out of character. Also, if you are gone for more than 6 months, I consider your blog inactive and will probably assume that you aren’t going to return.

12. I’m really laid-back in nature so don’t feel pressure to reply to anything I send to you. I understand that life happens and that sometimes you just need to unwind from the stress of daily life.

13. For pronouns; either SHE/HER or THEY/THEM is okay with me. My orientation is DEMIROMANTIC ASEXUAL. I love anime, manga, video games, music, drawing, and writing. If you read all of this, then thank you! I won’t ask for passcodes but please still try to remember these at some point. That’s all I ask. <3.

( rules may be updated from time to time so please check here once in awhile. I will also post when these are updated as well ).

[rethesun]

Is there a name for middle lane larries?

Topic: An opinion on larry

I think there is substantial compelling evidence, but I'm not 100% convinced that there is still something but it’s possible there is we just don’t see.

If someone calls me a larrie, it's not insulting at all, but if someone were to call me an anti i’d be sad, honestly. Below I say many things that make it seem like I negatively judge hardcore larries, but I don't. I find it extraordinary that people can be so brave and sure of themselves, and I wish I could be too. I tend to get along with larries, while I mostly avoid antis unless they manage to be respectful, which is unfortunately quite rare. 

I think it's practically effortless to get toxic when trying to prove or disprove things. I think it's dehumanizing and feels stressful to me as a fan. Therefore I can only imagine the difficulty and what it takes for people in a position of fame to get to a place of inner strength and resilience where the millions of opinions of the world don't affect them as much. It's sometimes hard to judge/differentiate what is and isn't disrespectful, and it hurts terribly to know I'm crossing boundaries. So I'm putting my opinion together in hopes it isn't as counterproductive or pointless as it feels.

I'm not at all trying to convince anyone of a narrative to sway people to believe or not believe. What and how much you know and where you "stand" is down to you. 

Do I believe in larry? 

First and foremost, being a fan of someone means supporting that person without expecting anything from them. It means any fan theory isn't crucial. What’s important is just supporting them as is, as an individual. It means caring about how the person may feel about things more than caring about how I feel about things that aren't my business in the first place. 

That said, here is my not long-awaited opinion.

I think there is substantial compelling evidence, but I'm not 100% convinced that there is still something but it’s possible there is we just don’t see. I will not disregard what Harry and Louis said back in the day and pretend they had nothing when at the very least, Harry said it on video directly twice. Yes, he was a kid, but people will decide Harry is with a skinny blonde woman older than him for much less, so I don't take what he said as a platonic joke. However, I try to be as realistic as possible. As an outsider, it's not easy for my brain to conclude on most things. However, this doesn't mean I disregard how bad the industry can be. One big reason is that I don't know any of these people personally, and I want to believe in the best in others. Even though I understand controlling narratives in the industry happens and happened to 1D. I don't know to what extent. It's hard for me to judge that any or all of Harry's "relationships" are fake, and thus, he's had a few "stunt" songs for those relationships, etc. It’s plausible that he wrote female pronouns on a song or a few and the song refers to a man/men but that's far from saying this is a stunt song which would imply an entire fake relationship which is too far for me to say wasn't real as I am just an outsider. 

Whether people say it's the fans who say it or the boys behavior, the statement, 'larries ruined their friendship,' is sometimes interpreted as centered around homophobia. I do not see it this way.

However, whether there was or is a relationship, it's entirely reasonable to consider, the circumstances as a whole hurt them and likely the rest of the band in multiple ways that made things really hard. I do not think fans ruined the band or their connections with each other. I think being overworked with little freedom or breaks to discover/express independence were just a few reasons why.

Why I think larry appeared to become distanced to the public eye: 1. Understandably, putting blame on the heteronormative gender restrictive times we were in and still are in. 2. How some fans react to Larry's interactions due to reason number one. Otherwise, all the 1D members, their families, and friends have been honest. That would mean there isn't an elaborate conspiracy; they are just tired of people messing with who they care about and want to live without the harassment. Regardless of whether some fan theories are accurate or not, people in the spotlight and their families deserve peace of mind. They don't deserve to be dehumanized. I wish some fans would understand how wrong it is to swarm people or ask strangers to confirm any personal things. Not only because it's rude and invasive but because of mental health. If that's confusing, imagine if it were you in their position.

I used Zayn's interview because he shared it eloquently while the other mentions that ‘Larry isn't real’ were mostly screen captures of constituents replying impatiently to larry comments on social media saying the Larry thing is delusion and not what real fans do.  Zayn in this 2015 fader interview. "There's no secret relationships going on with any of the band members," he explains. "It's not funny, and it still continues to be quite hard for them. They won't naturally go put their arm around each other because they're conscious of this thing that's going on, which is not even true. They won't do the natural behavior." He goes on to add to the statement, "But it's just the way the fans are. They're so passionate, and once they get their head around an idea, that's the way it is regardless of anything. If it wasn't for the passionate, like almost obsession, then we wouldn't have the success that we have." Before the subject changes, Zayn said that fans would find a way to water down what he said and make any excuses, e.g., that he couldn't speak the truth.

I can't speak for anyone but myself. (I’m a queer cis female) I don't think I would want to 'get dragged through a round of 'coming out' press. Why should sexuality be treated as an oddity by the median, and why should queer people have to subject themselves to that treatment?' The amount of coming out stories and things that could follow a person, or the people around, in the aftermath, would be atrocious. People, personally and professionally, may treat you differently after. The queer stereotypes would be exhausting. Also, it's not always as safe sometimes to be out. Whether there was/is a relationship at all between 1D members. “Being open to everyone isn't easy. Now imagine yourself no less human than right now, but add millions of eyes on you. It's insensitive to assume about someone when they could be doing their best/what is comfortable—please let's stop invalidating what we don't understand.”

Zayn's career connects to Hollywood, and he’s in the spotlight so it's not easy to suddenly believe everything I hear and see is the truth just because someone like him said it. However, at the same time, it's rather discomforting for me to disregard and look into everything people like Zayn or his constituents say. I want to believe the best in people and sympathize and “back him up” in a sense. It's also way to hard to believe all things other fans say because we are passionate and obsessed, so there is confirmation bias. 

Do I concretely believe anything? 

Yes, but those things don't directly confirm or deny anything especially Larry.

I believe the boys were responsible for RBB & SBB.

I have some reason to believe the song Carolina could be about experimentation with drugs since Johnny Cash's Cocaine-Carolina song is plausibly similar. Also, it's not uncommon if you're wealthy or famous to experiment with drugs, including harmful drugs; the environment can make it more accessible and normalized. I don't condone drug abuse; I hope Harry is wise enough not to make it a reoccurring thing. I want him naturally happy and healthy, but it's not my life, and I don't know him to have any right in making that call. I trust from Harry's character and what he said in his Zane Lowe interview that he knows better. However, the song Carolina might be about Townes or maybe it's both, I have no clue. 

I believe SOTT is about "fundamentals" like Harry said it is, not just from the perspective of 'a mother telling the child to go forth and conquer.' I notice some people readily look over the childbirth story, saying 'it makes no sense,' but it can easily coincide with fundamentals, "Equal rights for everyone, all races sexes, everything." Check out this in depth lyric analysis?

I think most of us know and support that Harry is a proud member of the community. If he wasn’t he’d just say that. 

I think maybe COAC and SOTT may have been collaborative. There are multiple writers on both songs and if it’s possible to have a ghost writer then I say it's plausible they chose to write them similarly. 

I think Louis possibly queer codes. Straight people don’t queer code so you might think it’s queer baiting but I don’t think someone sick of gay rumors would go that route. Either that, or he's a passionate and sympathetic ally.

However, Louis is still "with" E. From a perspective of committed fans, it doesn't look like a sincere relationship. As an outsider, again, it feels far too presumptuous for me to have a B&W opinion.

It seems that adults with somewhat official platforms let rumors run rampant, and not many grown adults of the time seemed to correct or silence it. I should have said this early and cannot stress this enough, ANYONE who is not the Louis Tomlinson or in his family tree is in no way an official source. If they're acting like they know things (not just reporting on what's happening), they were/are either trolling or want people to freak out for clout. Being led astray by people looking to capitalize on fans is always a danger. It's insensitive, inappropriate, and unprofessional, but it happened. I am surprised by that and that 1D's management didn't try to protect Louis and his image more. I’m not an insider able to judge him negatively or to overanalyze the situation. So I won't assume he's not a dad, and I hope he's doing well.

(About the above paragraph about Louis this is an update after the original post I made to say I don't have a further developed opinion because I never looked into it and don't know if I will so don't hold that against me please I just personally don't feel like it’s a thing I need to do and I know larries don’t appreciate when non-larries make comments on things without thoroughly looking into things so you won’t see a further opinion from me or judgment unless I do actual research)

In conclusion, and to reiterate, I feel like there is some truth to some things. Again, it feels disrespectful or too presumptuous for me to have many opinions, especially of the negative kind, as an outsider. I don't know any of these people personally, and I want to believe in the best in others. I am not harshly judging things because I don't have a complete story or the right to. However, this doesn't mean I disregard how bad the industry can be to people in multiple ways.

As fans, we can do much better. It's not unreasonable to wish people didn't constantly objectify/sexualize people with fame and didn't harass them/their families about fan theories. Also, always wanting something from these people and expecting them to fulfill god-like expectations as if they don't go through the same human experience and aren't completely flawed like the rest of us, or stalking them—something sick and a behavior that's saddening and disgusting. Real fans just leave them be to live their lives. Please call out stalking and discourage it if you notice it. Overall, I think we can all be a bit more respectful and understanding or try to make an effort. I'm not a superfan, but I'd like to be genuine and not a reason why these people dislike being in the spotlight. I feel like that means being as grounded, realistic, and sensitive about how these people may feel about things more than caring about how I feel about things that aren't my business in the first place. It ultimately means any fan theory isn't crucial. What’s important is just supporting them as is, as individual.

[#’s are for exposure and may not correlate]

[braveryhearted]

RULES

Short, sweet, and to the point. Follow these rules and we all have a great time.

1. Mutuals only. I must be following you and you must be following me. Only those that I follow can like starter calls, send in character asks, and reply to posts.

1a. I will not interact with non-Mutuals, that includes asks, unless it’s done anonymously and it doesn’t have a url attached.  Anyone who breaks this rule will get about a few pardons but after that will be blocked.

2. My time is limited here in what I can do. This means that I am very selective in what I reply to. Doesn’t necessary mean that I am ignoring anyone. Some days I reply to everything and everyone, others I am so burnt out from irl things or work that I just lurk and do the bare minimum. My mental health and well-being comes before anything else.

2a. Replies vary by length and time. I normally work eight to ten hours a day and experience a lot of exhaustion. Unless I don’t see a thread or an ask going anywhere and publicly make a post saying it’s been dropped, consider everything as pending / will do ASAP. Memes are okay to send in late unless it clearly states, not accepting. My timezone is Eastern Standard Time or EST. United States is where I am located at. I am usually online from 10 PM EST to 3 AM EST unless it’s a day off from work, which the online time will vary from 12 PM EST to 3 AM EST.

2b.  Role-playing is a hobby, not a job. Do not pester me for replies or asks to be answered. I am not obligated to owe anyone anything on this website. I am human and can’t cater to everyone’s needs.  Being persistent here is not going to make me answer yours faster than other people.

2c. Don’t follow, unfollow, and then refollow my blog. It’s not going to make me want to follow you back, ever. It’s annoying and no one is being crafty by doing that. If you continue to do this and it isn’t a tumblr glitch, I will be inclined to block and possibly report for spam.

3. If you do need to break mutuals with me, HARD BLOCK my blog. Don’t just UNFOLLOW or SOFT BLOCK because chances are that I could mistakenly follow you again. And that’s something we both don’t want since it would be quite awkward.

3a. I have the right to unfollow whoever I want to and so do you. Please don’t go on a hunt and try to guilt trip me into following you back again. Just don’t. I can and will tell you the reason why I unfollowed you but other than that, just let me leave in peace.

3b. Personal blogs and non RP blogs will be blocked on site. Please, if you have a side blog let me know through asks so I don’t accidentally block you. IMs are not a good way to let me know since they are closed for non-mutuals.

4. Duplicates are welcomed to follow me. The more the merrier. I do not suffer from same muse anxiety and encourage any of the same muse to follow me. Only request is that you don’t steal my headcanons, edits or icons. Other than that, we should all be able to have a good time. I’m always up for twin verses or alternate universes shenanigans.

4a. Original Characters are allowed to follow me. However, they need to be a little flesh out before I make a decision to follow them back or not. Just a small backstory or biography is all that I need. Headcanons also work if there isn’t an about page but must have about one page worth for me to consider following.

4b. Crossover Characters from other shows are allowed to follow me but I must know about said muse or else I’ll have a hard time whether to follow or not. Few fandoms I won’t interact with because I have no interest in these series are: Avatar the Last Airbender, Avatar the Legend of Korra. ( more to be added ).

5. I am a multi-ship blog. All ships are separate in their own standings. A little less than half of my muses are between the ages of 15-18 and then the rest are in the 20-30 range. As such, I will only be shipping them romantically with muses their own age. Some threads may get a little spicy for those 20-30 age groups but nothing that requires a ‘ do not read at work’ type of posts. I will tag those post that are suggestive with a ‘spicy: tw & spicy for ts’ for blacklisting purposes.

5a. I am open to all kinds of ships, not just romantic ones. I also enjoy platonic, rivalry, and familiar bonds. All ships are open to discussions through my IM(s) or otherwise known as Instant Messenger. Chemistry is key. As long as we interact a little, there’s always the chance that both muses can be in a relationship.

6. Things for you to tag for me are: BIRDS, CHAIN LETTERS, ORGANS, DOGS. For the birds and dogs, just irl ones trigger me. I am fine with cartoon / art / video game ones as they are not real.

6a. This blog will contain sensitive themes from time to time. However, I will tag common things like those mentioned below. If you need anything tagged, please let me know through instant messaging / IMs. Things I’ll tag for you are but not limited to: BLOOD, GORE, DEATH, BODY HORROR, EYE HORROR, INSECTS, MAGGOTS, BRUISES, SCARS, GUNS, KNIVES, CLOWNS.  

7. I am over the age of eighteen. However, I refuse to write smut as I am not comfortable with that subject to begin with and also the fact that some of the muses found here are MINORS which is a big huge NO. Please never force me to write this with you and if you keep sending things to me in this type of nature, I will report you, no questions asked.

7a. If I see any form of hate and I find out it was you that sent it, I will immediately BLOCK you. No questions asked. Life is too short to send unwanted hate, anon or not. All anon hate and hate towards me and my characters ( s ) in general will be reported and then blocked, no questions asked.

8. My pen name on here is SERE. Obliviously, that is not my real name but it’s what I go by. It’s short for ‘Serena’, the English name that DIC gave Usagi Tsukino in the Americanized version of Sailor Moon. It’s pronounced; SIR-REE.

9. I am not a meme source. If you need to reblog a meme from my blog and don’t plan to send me anything, reblog from the source. I hardly get asks as it is, and for you to just use me as a meme source puts a bad taste in my mouth and I feel like I’m being used, which isn’t a good feeling. If you wonder if you should send in a meme to me, please do. I love getting asks. I do hoard them from time to time like a dragon hoards treasure but I do get to them eventually. The more memes / asks, the merrier.

9a.  Feel free to turn inbox replies into threads. Just remember to make separate post when replying. Do not reblog threads not meant for you and don’t reblog my headcanons. It’s okay to reblog my asks though if you want them to be keepsakes on your own blog. Also, it’s alright to reblog musings and images from me.

10. I rather not be bothered by callout posts and any potential drama that might accumulate. I am just here to have fun and I hope everyone else can too. Life is too short to spend on certain things that don’t matter in the long run. If I see multiple call out posts from you in a single day or that’s all you post, I will quietly unfollow you.

11.  Out of character posts will be on here from time to time. Mostly talking about life in general or me venting once in a great while. If this annoys you, please remember that this is my blog, not yours. You are welcomed to unfollow / block at any time.

11a.  The best way to interact with me is to send memes / asks / inbox things. I am always up for unprompted things in my inbox. Also, my instant messenger is always open if someone needs to contact me out of character or to plot something. Don’t hesitate to talk to me. I will try my best to respond.

11b. Not interacting after a month or two with me and my blog will make me silently unfollow you or result in a soft block. Or if you don’t interact with me at all, even out of character. Also, if you are gone for more than 6 months, I consider your blog inactive and will probably assume that you aren’t going to return.

12. I’m really laid-back in nature so don’t feel pressure to reply to anything I send to you. I understand that life happens and that sometimes you just need to unwind from the stress of daily life.

13. For pronouns; either SHE/HER or THEY/THEM is okay with me. My orientation is DEMIROMANTIC ASEXUAL. I love anime, manga, video games, music, drawing, and writing. If you read all of this, then thank you! I won’t ask for passcodes but please still try to remember these at some point. That’s all I ask. <3.

( rules may be updated from time to time so please check here once in awhile. I will also post when these are updated as well

[ralexsol]

On the Subject of Underverse S2

You read that correctly: this is a post about one of the greatest shows ever created, the Undertale animated series Underverse, written/animated by @jakei95​. I have a lot of theories that I’ve been pulling together ever since I watched both Underverse and Xtale (the Underverse prequel series). Maybe one or two have no basis in anything, but for some reason they popped into my head and I’ll stick by them until they’re proven incorrect. I will discuss the possibility of a Geno/Ink fight, Fresh!Ink, XI (you’ll definitely want to read their section!), and the fates of many different characters. This is quite the long post, so buckle up for a long ride.

Let’s begin!

GENO/INK FIGHT:

I’m putting this theory first because it is the least important. At some point in time, I somehow got it into my head that there is supposedly going to be a fight between Geno and Ink. I have no idea where I heard about this, and when I searched for any specific videos or posts about the subject, I found nothing. But I personally think a fight scene between Geno and Ink would be pretty cool, so I’m adding this in here.

FRESK!INK’S EXISTANCE:

This is a more relevant theory. Ever since Jakei announced that Fresh!Ink would be a part of Underverse, I have wondered how he would be incorporated. I don’t know if she means for him to be in the future “Beach Episode” or something more serious. (Of course, I know almost nothing about this supposed “Beach Episode”, which is apparently when Epic!Sans will be showing up, so I really wouldn’t know.) But there is an important thing to remember: Ink and Fresh made a deal in the first season.

Ever since I saw this Underverse - Xtra Scene 2, I have wondered what this “prize” could possibly be. What was Ink’s side of the deal? What did he promise Fresh? Hmm... maybe a new body to take over?

Ink’s body doesn’t have a SOUL- that’s basic “Undertale AU Knowledge 101″. What does this have to do in regards to Fresh? To my best knowledge, the actual parasitic creature True!Fresh feeds off the souls of other creatures to survive. In fact, his soul-feeding would kill his victims if he stayed long enough in one body, but he likes to play it safe and leave his victims alive in case he needs to use their body again. But he wouldn’t need to do this with Ink. Because of Ink’s SOULless nature, Fresh could theoretically feed off his body forever. Some might object that since Ink doesn’t have a SOUL, Fresh wouldn’t be able to feed off him. But then how does Fresh!Ink exist?

So, what was their deal? Fresh watches over the Xtale AU while Ink is gone, and after Cross and X!Chara are taken care of, Ink comes back and lets Fresh take over his body for a little while. There may be something else I’m missing, but the pieces seem to make sense.

XI’S PURPOSE:

For those of you who don’t know who XI is, I suggest you watch this video about Jakei’s Overwrite merch. This is when the character of XI was introduced to us, back on good ol’ April 1st, 2019. Haha, yes, the joke character of XI- funny April Fool’s Day video, a good laugh for everyone. Jakei has made a few comics about XI since then, but overall, XI hasn’t been involved in Xtale or Underverse so far. That has never sat right with me, and I’ve always thought there would be something more to him. I was proven absolutely correct when Xtale - The Movie came out. But before we discuss the little extra scene tagged onto the end of that video, I would like to point out some very interesting facts about XI.

On October 6th, 2019, Jakei posted a traditional speedart. Obviously, the art is gorgeous like always and every time I watch it I wonder if I will ever get to the level of skill she is at. But besides that, there is a very important aspect about this video. In the speedart, Jakei drew two pictures: one of X!Chara and X!Frisk fighting, and one of XI. In XI’s picture, they are depicted in full armor with a magical purple sword & shield.

Hmmm... I wonder who this could possible resemble?

Every time XI is shown, whether it be in comics or artwork, their bangs hang over their eyes. Their armor looks exactly like Kris’s from Deltarune. Heck, they both use a sword and a shield! What does this mean? XI is X!Kris. There is no way to deny this. This is why they are X!Chara’s and X!Frisk’s little sibling. I would also like to point out XI’s silver oval locket. I find it interesting how he has a different piece of jewelry from everyone else- all other important characters in Xtale have a matching golden heart locket. Does XI also have people he has given copies of this necklace to? Perhaps X!Susie and X!Ralsei, if they exist? But XI being X!Kris is only the beginning of this theory. Remember how I mentioned Xtale - The Movie earlier? Take a look at this picture.

This is a five-second frame pegged at the very end of the video, after an entry written in wingdings by Mister XGaster himself. The message is as follows:

Entry Number Eleven: As clear as a reflection in a mirror, I have found the most perfect projection of forbidden visions. Get ready. Your time is coming.

Okay, just whoa. Not only is the entry #11, but the person standing there is XI. Oh, and let’s take a closer look at what they’re holding in their hand.

I knew that silver locket was going to be important. There is no way that XI is not going to play a major part in either Underverse S2 or hmm... maybe a spin-off about the Xtale versions of Deltarune characters? To my knowledge, Jakei has not said anything about her plans after she finishes Underverse. She has her Metadora project, and I am aware that her husband @nyxtheshield​ is planning out his own Undertale series- someone will need to animate that, and I’m sure she would be able and willing to do the job. She has stated that there will be no seasons of Underverse after S2, and the finale will be 1.0. But that doesn’t mean she won’t make a new series. If she does, will it be about all the Deltarune characters? Will the other Xtale characters show up at certain points in it? Will XGaster play a large part in it? There is no way to know, as the idea of a new show is simply drawn from that there may not be enough time in S2 to fully expand what XI is.

In any case, XGaster states in the entry that “your time is coming”. This could either reference a new show or XI’s appearance in Underverse. I find it extremely interesting how XGaster words his message. “The most perfect projection of forbidden visions.” What does that mean exactly? XGaster has seen something in one of his many visions, obviously. The most perfect image of prohibited sights. XI is a person that stands for something that should not be allowed to exist. That makes sense- XGaster, a man, somehow got pregnant and birthed them, as shown in the Overwrite merch video. The “forbidden visions” might imply that he has seen something quite “cursed”, as us modern Internet-users would say. But then he tells this projection to get ready, because their time is coming. XGaster is telling XI to prepare themself. This just proves that XI and XGaster are tied together very closely, and that if XI does get their own series with X!Ralsei and X!Susie, XGaster will be involved.

Whew! That’s a lot of information to take in all at once. This was the big “theory” I wanted to discuss, so now we will move on to the different fates I believe may befall some of our beloved characters.

INK, FOR GOOD OR FOR WORSE?:

Ah, Ink. One of the true protagonists of Underverse. Remember: a protagonist is not necessarily a hero, just one of the leading characters. It has been seen that his story arc is the most important throughout the entire story. He is the one that inspired XGaster. He is the one that made XGaster’s plan succeed. And he very well might be the one to make it fail.

Wait, you’re asking me. I thought he was on XGaster’s side? What do you mean he will make it fail?

I didn’t want to address whether Ink was going to stick with XGaster or flip until a certain song was posted by Nyx two days ago on December 5th, “Soulless Heart”. If you haven’t listened to it yet, go ahead and click that link because the song is beautiful and absolutely necessary to continue on with this theory! The song is the Underverse 0.5 Ending Theme, and guess who it’s about? You guessed it, our good old buddy chum pal Ink. I’ve been listening to it on repeat since it came out, and it really is incredible. (Nyx, if you’re somehow reading this, I would like to personally congratulate you, because not only is the music amazing but mwah! Your voice is a joy, and I would not have any other singer do the vocals.) But the most important thing about the song is the lyrics. Here’s the first verse.

How long have I been longing

to be free and not broken

in this ocean of hollowness?

I don’t want to be forgotten.

Instantly, the lyrics hit you hard. This is about Ink, though, so you can’t expect anything less. Essentially, the song is about the emptiness that Ink feels without a SOUL. This goes along with one of his main aspects in Underverse. The only reason why he worked with XGaster to make sure XGaster’s game worked was so he could feel more emotions. As a chaotic neutral character, Ink literally only cares about himself and his personal goals. But what is interesting about this song is that he addresses the pain he has caused.

Sacrificial lambs

laid upon my path

now are broken worlds

killed by senseless wrath.

Ink knows that he has hurt people. I mean, in the present timeline when 0.5 is to be set, Ink’s actions just caused Error to literally “pull the plug” and destroy all the AUs. (Although, how many AUs were actually destroyed is impossible to determine, because there are still multiple Sanses that will be incorporated into S2 that were residing in their AUs at the time of their supposed destruction.) Ink knows that this is his fault. And now that XGaster has won, Ink will be receiving all those emotions he wanted! In the S2 teaser, which was released on the original Underverse 0.5 release date (the episode was unfortunately delayed due to issues with Nyx’s distributor, RouteNote), shows something very important.

Look at those vials in his hand. Those aren’t just colored vials. Well, they are, but their colors are especially important. Look at their specific colors: orange, yellow, and amber. Previously, Ink’s vials have been seen as very straightforward: roy g biv, that sort of thing.

You have one or maybe two variations, although in this picture there seems to be about four different aqua vials. But there certainly isn’t an amber vial. This goes to show that XGaster followed through on his promise, and Ink has a lot more variations in his color-coded emotion vials. The obvious conclusion from this is that he can feel a lot more things than he thought was possible- including guilt. With his newfound feelings, he could realize that what he did wasn’t just wrong, it was horrible. He might start to blame himself for getting all the AUs destroyed, which in turn might result in a betrayal of XGaster. With his emotions, he would become a real good person. But ultimately, without XGaster’s Overwrite abilities, Ink’s new emotions will fade and he will return to be the same old Ink as before. He will no longer understand why he sacrificed his emotions, and the cycle will start anew. Ink will never be truly happy, because being happy will always mean the suffering of others.

Or, Ink will stick with XGaster. It would be the same fate, after all; if the heroes defeat XGaster, Ink will still lose those emotions. This, though, might leave him feeling bitter and even more willing to do anything to get what he wants, which could potentially lead to him becoming a real villain. Perhaps XGaster isn’t the final boss of Underverse. Maybe the one to start everything will be the one to finish everything.

XGASTER AND UT!GASTER:

This wouldn’t be a real theory post without discussing our favorite fanfiction writer, would it? And yes, XGaster is literally a fanfiction writer. He has symptoms of OCD concerning the world-building of his universe and he just loves to add as much angst as humanly (or monsterly) possible. It just so happens that he lives in his own created universe, so his creations have the pleasurable chance at getting revenge.

Now, there are obviously two ways that Underverse can go: XGaster succeeds, or XGaster fails. This doesn’t necessarily mean that this will be the ending of S2. As I mentioned above, perhaps XGaster will be defeated at the end of 0.9 and 1.0 will be about everyone trying to stop Ink from taking the Overwrite SOUL for his own, I don’t know. In any case, I don’t really have anything to discuss about XGaster specifically, but I am pretty sure I know what his last scene will be if he happens to lose.

It is shown in the Underverse S2 Prologue - Owners that XGaster and UT!Gaster spent a lot of time together in the Void between the events of Xtale and Underverse. Not only do they hold an entire conversation together in Owners, but in Underverse 0.1 when Sans is hit in the head with a ball, he has a vision of the two of them standing together.

In XGaster’s and UT!Gaster’s conversation in Owners, UT!Gaster tells XGaster that he will fail in his quest for perfection. XGaster brushes him off because he’s an egotistical prick, yadda yadda. But this conversation is important because I believe it will parallel the ending of XGaster’s quest. In the end, UT!Gaster will approach his old Void-buddy and tell him to just give up on his pointless venture. XGaster will turn to dust after saying something like, “I will never give up”, and then we have Ink going on a rampage. That’s pretty much all I have to say on them, but I thought it would be worth adding.

DREAM AND NIGHTMARE:

Lastly, we have the brothers. As with XGaster and UT!Gaster, I don’t have much to add with them. But I do believe they will both play a major role in S2. They will be the overseers of the battle to come. Out of all the characters in the Undertale fandom, they are the most omnipotent. They are the protectors of the Tree of Feelings, which is one of three trees to give the Multiverse life. In Underverse 0.4, when X!Chara accused Nightmare of “watching us all this time as if we were part of a show”, Nightmare responded by saying:

Of course, Nightmare mostly means himself, Error, and Ink. Dream is much more active in helping people be happy, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t on the same god-tier level as his brother. Dream could sit back and watch the world tick, but he chooses not to because that goes against his morals.

In other words, Dream and Nightmare will probably affect the outcome of Underverse more than any other characters. They’re both pissed about what Error did: all those people that Dream cared about were murdered, and Nightmare can no longer generate negative feelings from innocents. They both have invested interest in this Multiverse war now, and their powers will certainly come to the forefront.

I believe that at the end of the story, the Multiverse will essentially go back to the exact way it was before Xtale was invented. XGaster will be dead, the Xtale characters will be put back in their AU, the other AUs will be restored, and at the end of it all, Dream and Nightmare will be once again pitted against one another. We may even see an alliance between them during Underverse S2 to stop XGaster, but afterwards, they will reestablish their rivalry. Unless the Omega Timeline comes into play, which it very well might, I don’t see the two brothers reconciling.

CONCLUSION:

Thank you everyone who took the agonizingly long time to read this! I hope this shed some light on certain characters (especially XI) and encourages to make some of your own theories. Stay safe and good night!

[artificialqueens]

There's No One There, 1/? (Group Fic) - Marmalade

Summary: One student missing multiple classes without warning can be explained away but when more girls start disappearing, it can’t be dismissed. Jaida, Jackie, Gigi, and Crystal may not be friends but if it’s to figure out what’s going on, they’re willing to work together.

A/N: This is my first story for here, I feel like I’m maybe not the best at starting stories but I’m excite for what’s in store so hopefully you’ll stick it out. I’ve never written this genre before so it’ll be an adventure for all of us.

—

“Do you know Nicky?”

Jackie looked up from her book, a sci-fi novel that she had tucked in the sleeve of a medical journal, to see Gigi standing before her. She was practically the queen bee of the school and seeing her without her usually circle of friends in tow was a rarity. While Jackie was by no means a faceless member of the student body, her participation in the honor club and the drama club as well as her status as the lone nurse’s aide did well tying a name to the face, she hadn’t been expecting Gigi to approach her out of the blue, the two shared few classes and have seldom spoken before.

“-She’s in our year, French-“

“Yeah, what about her?”

“Well, we share a dorm and she didn’t come in by lights out and then today in English, she wasn’t at her desk. I know you work with the nurse; I was just wondering if she came in yesterday.”

“I don’t think so? Maybe she had a family emergency come up and had to leave earlier in the day.” Gigi pursed her lips and folded her arms, leaning against the wall rather than join Jackie on the bench.

“She’s my best friend, if she had to leave and didn’t have the chance to say goodbye, I feel like she would have left a note for me.” Jackie closed her book and set it down.

“Okay, yeah it’s weird but she’s probably be back in a few days and she’ll be able to tell you herself.”

After a moment of looking down at her feet, Gigi nodded and pulled away from the wall.

“You’re probably right. If she had to see family in France and had to catch a flight then maybe she didn’t have time to say anything…Thanks.” Gigi made her leave and Jackie returned to her book, not dwelling on the subject.

Gigi had approached her on a Thursday morning. The days rolled by and Jackie hardly thought about it, Gigi hadn’t approached her again, but as Monday arrived and Jackie walked into her history class, she noted that the desk usually occupied by the French girl was vacant and Jackie spent the class making brief glasses as if the girl would magically show up when she wasn’t looking.

If she did have to go back to France, Jackie told herself, then it would make sense if she had to have a longer absence because of the travel times. That was probably it.

-

Crystal peered out from the corner. A decent number of girls were passing through the hall on their way to their next class, all she had to do was not draw any attention to herself. Crystal hurried out and tried to melt into the crowd, picking up her pace as she passed by the woman with jet black hair that stood outside one of the doors.

“Crystal.” Vice Principal Visage’s voice was stern and Crystal stopped in her tracks with a stammer. “What did I say about dying your hair?”

“You said I could dye it natural colors and it’s ah-nh- a lot of people have naturally red or orange hair! Not here but- in like- the deepest…darkest depths of Scotland?”

Miss Visage stared her down with that disbelieving slight sneer she gave any student who made excuses she didn’t like. “…It’s pink.” Crystal was trying to smile like she didn’t know what was coming. “I am not going to have this conversation again with you, you have until Monday to change your hair otherwise-“

“-You’ll shave my head, I know.” Crystal was fairly certain that it was a hollow threat but V.P. Visage was known for being the single most cut throat faculty member. Miss Visage opened her mouth to say more but as the bell rang and Crystal used the opportunity to slip away.

Monday came and Crystal forgot to buy hair dye when the weekend bus came to take the girls into town for daytrips. She didn’t think too much of it until she found herself sitting in the office. Miss Visage was in a meeting at the time and an incensed teacher sat Crystal down in a chair and gave a long-winded lecture about disrespecting the school’s image with her delinquent hair. Honestly, Crystal had stopped listening a while ago and stared straight ahead at the wall with her hands in her lap, the only thing on her mind was the potential repercussions.

An hour later, Crystal stood over the sink in the communal bathroom in her dorm hall with a pair of scissors in her hand and a chunk of her hair missing. The teacher hadn’t even cut it directly on the top or the side, nor was it close enough to her hair line to try to make it into passable bangs so now Crystal scrambled to salvage it. More clips of hair pooled while a few girls giggled and walked out of the bathroom, she could hear them say “Weird girl’s playing hair stylist” as they passed someone walking in.

“What’re you doing?”

Crystal glanced up in the mirror and saw Jaida standing there, her expression was a mix of dry judgement and genuine confusion.

“Uhh- just um, trying to fix this.” The hand holding the scissors circled over the mess that was her hair right now.

“…Do I want to know why?”

“Something about disrespect, I wasn’t listening to be honest.” Jaida let out an amused chortle and stood idly by as Crystal resolved to trying to cut the other side just as short. Another large clump of hair fell into the sink and Crystal looked up to realize that now both the top of her hair and the sides were scruffy and stood out on ends.

“Child- why don’t you just cut the back of it and give yourself a pixie cut?”

“Because I’ve been trying to get my hair to my waist for years! I don’t want to start over now.” Crystal resolve to trying to make the sides even shorter before realizing that Jaida was still there. “What’re you doing here?” It wasn’t like there was a line for the stalls or the showers and the two knew each other from having to work on a project together once but that didn’t blossom into a friendship so much of a ‘If I’m at a place where I don’t know a single person and I see you, I’ll go say hi’ dynamic. Jaida shrugged and looks at her nails.

“I just don’t want to be around my dormmate right now. She’s being weird.” Crystal put her scissors down and turned to look at the other girl. “Jan is normally like the peppiest bitch I know but she’s been real down lately. I’ve asked her about it a couple of times now but like, she just won’t tell me what’s going on. Bitch, she keeps going ‘you wouldn’t get it, no one gets it’ and I got to a point where I told her that if she won’t tell me to go tell a counselor. It’s just not great knowing that she’s having some kind of problem and there’s apparently nothing I can do because she won’t say what the problem is.”

“Is it true that she quit drama and the soccer team? Midterms are in a few weeks so what if she’s just super super stressed about them then BAM!- two full weeks of spring break and she comes back to school doing a big musical number. I think a lot of girls in our level are really worried about exams, Widow’s been kind of out of it too these past few days. She hasn’t felt like dancing, Widow of all people! Like- h-can you imagine?”

“Doesn’t sound like her. It’s not like I have perfect grades in all my classes either but some of these girls are really letting the exams get to them, I’m telling you… Did you hear Nicky got sick or something like that?”

“No, really?”

“I don’t know exactly what’s going on but apparently she had to leave sometime last week. No warning or anything. Gone. Just like that.”

[shinobirain24]

Water and Ice- Chapter 10: Vale

After the Fall of Beacon

Weiss was back to the Schnee Manor, since Beacon Academy have fallen at the hands of Grimm. All she could do now is just look at her window where airships are flying by. The mansion is nothing but a silent place. The only time there when she has a conversation is when her close confidante and butler, Klein is called to let her know that her father calls. She wishes her sister would be there to assure her that everything will be alright. But the truth is, it isn't. Now Winter is still with the Atlas Military to find some answers about the Fallen Event. The house, no the manor is nothing more than a prison in her father's presence. Her brother minding his own business complaining about his sisters' "barbaric" huntsmen training.

The worse part of the chaos is when she is seeing her friends injured, scared, and sad. Some classmates crying over the loss of their teammates and loved ones. Such horrific images still stuck in her head. Ruby running up to the tower of Beacon to save their friend, Pyrrha Nikos whose battle cannot be won against a formidable foe. Blake, happened to be stabbed on the side of her abdomen. And Yang, whose left arm was cut off trying to help Blake against an enemy. Her teammates are more like sisters to her since the day they formed a team; Team RWBY. It was their first time at the Vytyl Festival, and their enemies have ruined it.

The other worse part of the Fall, is that her father, Jacques have showed up in his ship. "Father?" She said in shock. But her ankles have shaken. But she tried her best to keep her composure. Yang, still lying on the ground, injured. Watches in sadness to see her friend leave. Neptune notices some red flags judging by the slight reaction of Weiss seeing her father. "Time to go, Daughter. There's no use in staying in this useless obstruction." Jacques said coldly. Making the students shocked of what he was saying. Neptune gently grabbed her wrist as she reluctantly walked towards him.

"Hey, you don't have to." He insisted. Making Weiss flustered. But she shook her head and pulled away her hand. "Sorry, everyone. I have to go." She apologized.

"Don't make me warn you again, Weiss." He sounded more serious. That's when Nora Valkyrie, a ginger-haired girl with a black sweater vest, white shirt and pink skirt came to her defense that Weiss wasn't asking for to not cause trouble for them. "Hey, old man! She doesn't have to go if she doesn't want to! So why don't you just pack up and leave?!" Nora yells at him. As her friend Ren, a raven-haired boy tried to intervene before she hurts anybody.

"Yeah! Go home before we make you sorry!" Sun backed up.

"Weiss, come on." Neptune offers to take her away from the conflict. But seeing how ruthless and powerful her father was, she knew things would be worse for her friends if she resists. She takes one look at Neptune one last time before departure. "I'm sorry, I have to go. There's nothing we can do now. However, I wish you all safe." Weiss stepped inside the ship before it lifts off.

Back in the Manor

Weiss is sitting on her bed waiting for her sister to at least come home for a visit to feel better. Everywhere she goes in the manor, her father has constant eyes. Then a knock on the door. It was her butler, Klein. Despite working under her father, he was the closest friend and father figure Weiss had been close to when she was younger. He didn't like the way Jacques have treated his daughter. So he tried his best to keep her happy while keeping in low profile. "Ms. Schnee."

"Yes, Klein?"

"I believe this letter is for you. I must say, I never thought you'd be getting letters since you left for Beacon. Let me know if there's anything I can do."

"Thank you, Klein." She nods after Klein have left for other occupations around the household. Weiss then looks at the letter, there was no return address. But she opened it to see who the letter belongs to by reading it.

"Hey Snow Angel,

How have you been? I was wondering if you're okay. I know it wasn't the best time writing to you this letter. Pretty awkward, right? I know we haven't spoken much since the Vytyl Festival. What I saw what you did back then, was pretty amazing. I know things are hard for us all, my team and I went back to Mistral for some recuperation. Sun left to find Blake because she felt ashamed for what happened to Yang. It must feel worse being separated from your own team. And believe me, it gets worse to lose someone you cared for. Trust me, I may be not look like I did. But I felt that before, because I lost someone important to me a long time ago. When it's winter, the snow reminded me of you. How the breeze flows like your hair, your eyes glamour like the icy waters. When you fight, I can see you soar like the swan. When you sing, it brought such a gentle melody in the air. Like the moonlight hearing your call. The truth is, I just missed you. You became the first woman to have approach me with a smile. Keep that smile to fight the good fight. Things will get better when your team gets back together. Trust me, blood or not, family is about bonds that are shared. Like how Sun ,Scarlet and Sage have been brothers to me. Right now, Scarlet is kinda angry at Sun for leaving without telling us. As for Sage, mostly silent. They didn't take this very well. But I could understand what Sun is trying to do.

P.S.

If there's any chance you visit Mistral, I'll be happy to show you around for some time."

-Neptune.

Weiss is then blushing at his words he wrote to her. Like the blossoms falling from the wintery weather. Looking at the window. At the shattered moon. Her eyes closed in happiness, that someone have written to her. It have given her hope for the day she will be free from the patriarchal prison.

"Neptune." She thought. "Thank you." She then placed her lips on the letter as a sign of luck.

Ever since you wrote me this letter, it set me free. Actually, you have set me free. I know now that I cannot depend on Winter anymore.

Weiss thought back about that night she received the letter. She picked it up from her satchel and read it secretly without him knowing it on the ferry. She then hid it away. The letter may be a few years old, but it is still the treasure she has held. Sitting on the bench next to Neptune who is looking down on the floor. She scooted towards him and has her hand over his to keep him company. Much to his relief.

"Are you exciting to see her?" She asked.

"Well, I haven't seen her for months. She would basically check on my health every time I came home from Haven for summer vacations. What about you? What did you do when school was out?" Asked Neptune.

"Mostly at home. Back when I was an heiress, there was absolutely nothing but studies and tutoring 24/7." Weiss sighed. "Now that Whitely is the new heir to the Schnee Dust Company, I don't see the point of staying in the mansion." Now as a former heiress, Weiss is even ashamed at her own name since it was in ruins, no thanks to the man who fathered her and her siblings. "Still, I hope he does better than my father. Cause the last time he ever run the company, he got what he deserved, an orange jumpsuit." Weiss joked. Reminding her the time she read the headlines in the newspaper. Where the newspaper shows an image of him in an orange jumpsuit. And his mustache and hair got all messy having not been groomed for months after. Given a life sentence due to Winter being given the position as the new leader of the Atlas Military. And she wasn't going to let him out anytime soon.

"Seriously, that's hilarious!" Chuckled Neptune.

"I know, right?! I doubt Winter is going to let him off easy. Even if he is our father, he is beyond redemption." Weiss points out.

"That's insane coming from him." Neptune commented. They both laughed. "Are you sure about coming with me on this one?" He asked. Thinking of whether or not that Weiss is sure she wants to help him out of the situation she already put herself in.

"Of course, I do. I am not backing down on this one." Weiss assured him. Then she decides to change the subject. "Your parents are nice." She compliments. Making Neptune glanced at her and smiled. "They're the best. Dad can be kinda busy at times when Jupiter looks after us. But he's also an expert at amplifying weapons. As for Mom, straight but also lovable. She won multiple cases and a zero loss whether she's the prosecutor or the defender."

"A lawyer, huh? Yeah, she told me that. It was amazing of how hard she works." Weiss said. Looking back at the environment Neptune have lived in, it was all normal. Like many families, there could be arguments, but can be resolved later on. How parents could be supportive. How siblings do things together. She felt slightly jealous that she wishes it could've been this way if her family was never rich. Winter have told her some tales about their maternal grandfather before he went into retirement. A nobleman who works in honor of his own father when he left a small amount of his inheritance to create the Schnee Dust Company. She never met him, but was aspired to bring honor of his lineage. But after she was revoked from her inheritance, she decides to no longer bear the Schnee name, she will be just Weiss. But will still use her semblance in his honor.

Unbeknownst to them, there was a man hiding from the front row of the ship and took pictures of them both. Then they heard the click. "Did you hear that?" Asked Weiss.

"Yeah, I heard that too." Jolted Neptune.

"It sounded like a camera." Then the man was nearly caught but hid his face from behind. "Please tell me someone else is spying on us?"

"That's weird. Maybe we're just hearing things." Weiss shaken. "Or maybe there could be someone on the ship."

"We might have to keep an eye out. I have a bad feeling about this." Neptune points out. Looking at the mirror hanging on the ceiling of the ship where it shows the man still hidden without knowing that Neptune is glancing. "If we could just play it cool like nothing happen, that's when he or they'll let their guard down." He whispers. "We'll wait until the boat stops and we run for it and get lost." Weiss nods. Gripping his hand in nervousness. In theory, there could be anyone who heard the news and wanted them for their bounty. Or worse, assassination. But the general was never the type to put their head on the bounty. But rather to bring those alive. And Weiss knows that there is still heart that her sister would never be tempted to murder someone.

The ferry stops at Vale City. The kingdom where Beacon Academy was still underdevelopment after the students transferred to Shade Academy for catching up the semester. "Here it is. Vale." As the citizens are walking off the ship. Weiss and Neptune walked further and carefully listening to the footsteps the man is making. They cannot make a glance at him, or the worse can happen. They walked faster until they hid the alleyway and lost him at last. "He's gone." He sighed, much to their relief. Getting lost in the crowd means the man have gotten confused and went to search somewhere else.

Vale Hospital

Neptune and Weiss have made an appointment in an attempt to meet Ceres. With claims of a fever. Once the nurse have called them from the waiting room. They have entered the office. The door opened, to Neptune's surprise, it was a blue-haired and eyed woman. With a curly ponytail. A lab coat with a sweatshirt and brown skirt under. Reading glasses above her bangs. "Hello, I'm Dr. Ceres Vasilias. And I have been informed of..." The doctor was cut off when Neptune reveals himself.

"Sis, it's me." He interrupted.

"I beg your pardon, sir?" The doctor tilted in confusion. Until Neptune removed his hood and goggles. "Nep...tune?" She questioned.

"Yeah, it's me." The she overchecks him for any injuries. As the youngest of five siblings, Neptune was the one they could mostly be worried about. "Oh my gosh, are you okay?! Are you hurt?! Are you injured?! Did you have water on your ears and eyes again?! I swear you'll go deaf if this happens!" Neptune breaks away from him before she gets exhausted. "Hey, hey, hey! I'm fine. There's no need to freak out." He assured him, knowing his sister, she's always worried for his wellbeing after what happened with Jupiter.

"Oh. Sorry, it's been months, you have no idea how freaked I got when I got promoted." Sighed Ceres. She then walks over to the door. Looking in both ways before locking the door. "Anyway, you shouldn't be here. There are men looking for you." She said , worryingly. "I know, I just want to see how are you, Sis." Could she blame him for checking on his family. Normally, she would tend his injuries.

"Ever since Haven Academy fell, I wasn't sure if attending Shade is a good idea since there is a lot of rogues in the streets. But seeing you coming back alive, it was a relief." Ceres explains. She has been scared hearing him going to Shade. But then again, where else can he study with Beacon and Haven gone, and Atlas' borders being shut down. Shade has become the best option to fight for survival. She then turned to Weiss. "Wait a sec, let me guess. Former heiress of the Schnee Dust Company?" She guessed. And Weiss shamefully nods. But she straights her face up for an introduction.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, you are probably aware for who I am."

"I wouldn't mind. I never thought my little brother would bag you up." Teased Ceres.

"Seriously, you too?!" Neptune protested. And Weiss covered her face while feeling the heat.

"Oh well. By the way, don't tell me you went on a mission to find Jupiter, didn't you?" She asked, sternly. After telling him not to take the mission to have the police involve. But Neptune disobeyed that request and went on. But being a huntsmen, it's an instinct. At least what Ceres can understand. "Sorry, Ceres. I just wanted to be sure it was him."

"I get it, you're desperate. But do you have any idea what this have cost me?" Ceres stared at him in the eye. "There were policemen questioning me for your whereabouts."

"It's called instincts, I have a feeling that the police can't get their facts right if they still think he's dead." Neptune argued. Then again, the police have already given up the search again since the huntsmen were called to Poseidon Island to search for the Thunderbolts. Which upsets her to think they would reopen the case. "You're right, it's pointless to have them involve. You're lucky you're wearing a disguise. Still it would be a good idea to dye your hair and change your name. But I can give you some plastic surgery." She suggested. But Neptune wants none of it.

"And ruin my looks? No way." He shook his head.

"Fine. By the way, there were sightings of Jupiter and his team being made in the news." Ceres points out, which got her brother perked up to hear the name of their older brother. "I heard that he's somewhere in the Emerald Forest. The thing is, the Thunderbolts have been digging up. Looking for something. It has to be some kind of relic, perhaps." She theorizes.

"We'll check it out ourselves." Neptune then embraces his sister before parting ways. "It's great to see you again, Sis."

"Me too, bro. Me too. If anyone asked, I didn't see anything." Ceres told him, and Neptune nods. "Now, hurry before the security finds out." She ushered, prompting him and Weiss to exit the building.

Later on, they made a reservation for a hotel room for the night. The room has white walls for each side. Glass shower windows. Brown curtains with the soft texture. Separate beds with white sheets and pillows. Pretty much three-star level of a hotel. But enough to stay for a few days until they get what they came for. "At least this way, we can take a break." Weiss sighed.

"Pretty much. It's great to see that Ceres is doing well. We should be searching for Jupiter tomorrow. There's a good chance he could be there. Or another moon stone." Neptune plopped onto the bed close to the window. While Weiss slightly opens the curtain to see if there's any police or any militia force around. "Looks like nothing came around yet. We should be safe for tonight." Weiss said. Knowing that they cannot hide forever. Even with their scrolls destroyed, there are still chances that sightings will be linked. "Looks like being huntsmen wasn't easy for anyone."

"No doubt about it." Then his stomach growls, all the walking and traveling have gotten him empty. Struck with hunger. Weiss then notices. "Wow, I'll bet all this trouble have gotten us starving. Tell you what, I'll be getting us something to eat while you stay here." Weiss offers. Not wanting to risk him getting caught.

"Are you sure about this? I don't think it's safe for you to go out walking today." Neptune objects to the idea.

"I'll be fine. There's nothing to worry about. You need to keep in low profile for now." Neptune wanted to come along, but then again, he might be recognized. They don't have the scrolls to call each other to ensure each other's safety. But Neptune need s someone he can trust with his goals. He cannot call his team, it'll also cost them to be arrested for harboring a fugitive. For now, Weiss is the only person he can rely on.

"Okay, just be careful." He told her. And Weiss nods walking out of the room to grab some grub. After Weiss bought some appetizers from a restaurant, she then takes routes in the city to make sure she isn't followed. But it backfired when she heard footsteps in the alleyways. It grew louder. It was a sign that there is a stalker on the loose. She then makes a step ahead to levitate with her glyphs to the top of an apartment building. Running on the roof until the mysterious shadow threw roses at her as she deflects them. Pedals have been torn apart from the stems of black thorns.

"How delightful to see you again, mi belleza de nieve." His voice is deep with the accent. Weiss is stunned to hear a voice she never wants to hear for a while. Then man is dressed in a black jumpsuit, with a mask and hood covering his mouth. A red scarf tied to his waist containing a whip and a toledo sword. "There's no point hiding in that mask. I know who you are, Carlos Vega." She said furiously. He then chuckled uncovering that hood of his. "How wonderful that you recognized me. I believe your father would like to have a word with you. If you can come with me." He extended his hand towards her. But Weiss backs off in refusal. "But he's in jail. There's just no way."

"On the contrary, I helped him escape. Yes it was me, Specialist Carlos Vega. The supreme graduate student of Atlas Academy. Heir to the Vega Corporation."

"Nobody cares, Vega. And by the way, I want nothing to do with my father. And when my sister finds out you broke him out. She'll lock you up for good." Weiss paces around him and has her hand on the Myrtenaster in case he is ready to attack. Shoot, I should've warn her about him. I forgot about him for so long, I never want to remember him at all. She thought. She then felt pain in her shoulder. Causing her to look down and saw a rose pierced into her shoulder. "What the-?! She winced. her body feeling weak as the eyesight got blurry.

"Unfortunately, you are clearly unaware of what my semblance was. My rose is extremely, poisonous. Once a rose is pinned into your body, the poison will stream into your veins and you'll be weak. I call it the Death Amor." Described Carlos.

No, I have to fight back. Neptune is waiting for me. I cannot let Carlos him near him. Otherwise we're done for.

"Please understand that I am doing this, all in the name of admiration." Carlos said in a sweet tone. Disgusting Weiss.

"Admiration? I call it sickening." Weiss retorted. She then dashed at the heir to clash his sword. Pushing each other away. Carlos then throws ten roses for defense. But Weiss blocks them all while dodging them with her glyph.

Carlos has the upper hand swinging his whip catching Weiss in the air. Pulling her back down on the roof. But Weiss cuts his whip but another rose is thrown into her abdomen. "Ah!" She winced again. But she is still standing. "Nice try, I'm not going to give up that easily!" Carlos spun and sings his blade. Crossing blades against her. But Weiss smacks him with a handle. But he tumbled back. While Weiss tries to knock his sword off his hands. Lunging him and it was a success. "Give it up, Vega. You have no chances of winning...Dah!" Weiss stumbles back and saw another rose on her right arm. She tries to take them all off, but they were too strong. They are stuck. Weiss collapse to the ground, still trying to fight the poison.

The former heiress pushes herself to get up, but she fell back down. Staring at Carlos with a glare. "Too bad, mi belleza de nieve. It looks like I'll be taking you after all." He taunted. Weiss' vision got all foggy and then all goes black for a moment.

[ohnoyoonoh]

should haves | based off of sunflower by harry styles, like the meaning. | jaehyun angst | requested | a/n: i assumed how you wanted sunflower to be used in like the meaning, which i researched about. if you’re not satisfied with the story, please message me!

a photo-book was always a good way to reminisce memories. people say to live the moment, but jaehyun was the type of person to live the moment and capture it to relive the sweet memory once again.

he started the photo-book, once he received a polaroid as a christmas gift. he remembered when he started. he started exactly the first day of the new year. he thought it would be fun to take a picture of something everyday. then, he realized that taking one every day wasted precious film, but he also grew bored of capturing his cacti and little things in his apartment. despite the circumstances, his subjects evolved from the succulents placed in his home to himself or maybe his food to someone worth while. 

jaehyun flipped to the next page after reaching the pictures that started to be filled with your presence. he chuckled, as one of the pair of polaroids were you and him covered in flour. that day was filled with joy as you both tried to make a homemade brownies after he found a recipe online that worked out with his best friends. he remembered that you only agreed because you didn’t fully trust him as he burnt the meal the last time he tried to make food.

“so we’re going to need three cups of chocolate chips,” you read the recipe on your computer before looking at him which he nodded. he searched through the drawers and cupboards to find the measuring cups and spoons. as he rummages in a drawer, he perked up his head, “babe, i don’t think we have measuring spoons or cups.”

meanwhile, you were busy taking out the other ingredients that were listed but stopped after hearing him. he squatted quietly as you pondered upon the subject. he watched your facial expressions change quickly as you thought of how to answer the statement. he understood your delayed response as  it was rare to see a home-cooked meal made by the two of you. jaehyun typically just ordered not wanting to tire you out. “maybe, we can just eye it.”

“or we can just use the metric system,” he offered an option by pulling out the scale. 

“yeah, we can do that, too. i don’t know to convert between the systems, though,”  you scrunched your face. he could tell that you didn’t want to take the unnecessary steps to convert the measurements.

“i guess, we’re eyeing it then,” he said, putting the scale back into its place in the cupboard. relieved that you both didn’t needed to put extra effort into measurements, you started pouring the dry ingredients that needed less first in the bowl. “jae, can you get the flour?”

jaehyun hummed, as he opened the cupboard to reach for the flour. he didn’t realize that the bag wasn’t secured all too well as he tipped the bag over before grasping it tightly. his way of collecting the bag of flour didn’t end so well as the next thing he knew was that your work-space was covered in flour. his eyes widened, “oh. i’m so sorry, baby, i didn’t realize that bag was open.”

he wasn’t sure what to do since wetting a paper towel to clean up would cause another mess to deal with. flour mixed with water would make the mixture gummy and can stick to the surface. he knew that situation a little too well, when he was cleaning up after making a birthday cake for you. the white powder was all over the floor, but you. you were caked in the flour, he couldn’t help but chuckle at how silly you looked and managed to still looked cute.

“it’s okay, can you get me a damp paper towel? so i can wipe my eyes, i can barely open them. i also don’t like the taste of the flour,” you asked. 

“yep. i’m sorry, baby,” he rushed to get what you needed but actually went to grab his polaroid camera as it was the perfect moment to do so.. you reassured that he was fine that it was just an accident. as he came back, he went to retrieve what you needed he made sure to not get any splatters of water near the floury mess. as he turned around to hand you the paper towel, he was faced with powder all over his face. he lightly coughed as it got into his mouth, still handing you the paper which you gladly took to wipe your face. needless to say, jaehyun had other plans in mind as he grabbed a fistful of flour and threw it at you, caking you in even more flour if that was even possible. 

“oh, it is on, jung jaehyun.”

the flour battle extended from a portion to your kitchen to the entirety of it. jaehyun started the dramatic music, but he must have forgotten that he has his music on shuffle by default. the music determining where the little flour war started to go in terms of the fighting’s moment. the songs became the songs that you both enjoyed. the battle slowly progressed to you both laying on the ground, making snow angels. basking in the fun while it lasted, you didn’t want the moment to end. 

“i couldn’t want you more, kissing in the kitchen like a dance floor,” jaehyun sang as he held your hand, pressing his lips to back of your hand. he wanted this moment to last, and he remembered the camera. without any comments, he quickly got up to grab it which was still on the counter. you watched him hop up before laying back down with the device in hand. he held it out, already perfected the angle to capturing the photo due to the amount of polaroids he has taken with you.

“that day was great. i remembered when johnny and doyoung caught us laying there laughing our heads off. doyoung yelled at us like there was no tomorrow,” jaehyun laughed. doyoung chewed their heads off for wasting the flour, but he confessed that he disliked that you both didn’t start later enough to where johnny and him could have joined. turning the pages, he finally reached the dried out sunflower which he was reminded to water the plant. he stood up from his sitting position on the floor, grabbing the water bottle and fed the sunflower. he smiled, it was pretty, the petal strong. 

once he finished, he returned to the book, the page was dedicated to the little date that you had at the sunflower field. he always wanted to go to one, despite knowing full well, his allergies might start acting up.

“are you sure you want to have a date here? i don’t want you to get sick or anything,” you pushed the stray strands in front of his face to the side, joining it with the rest of his hair after you saw him trying to blow the pieces away. you stood at the entrance of the field, and he knew you wanted to make sure that he was committed into entering a world full of possibly allergies. the last time you visited a flower patch, he sneezed all week. but he didn’t regret going to it, though.

“yep, plus i’ve been wanting to go here,” he said. he smiled as dramatically did a spin, taking the scenery. taking the first steps into the field, he turned and stuck his hand out to you, “leggo.”

a warm feeling grew inside when you slipped your hand into his, which he started walking you through the beautiful garden. the stroll through the tall stocks of sunflowers left you both in awe. it was magnificent to see the golden petals, and you couldn’t get enough. despite being the same type of flower, they each looked different. each having a different characteristic. 

“babe,” he called your name.

“hmm?”

“do you know why the flowers are facing us?”

“why?”

“when the sun is out, they face it.”

“mmm.. that’s nasty, i’m gonna go throw up,” you laughed at his cheesy pick up line. jaehyun enjoyed telling cheesy lines even if it makes you smack in the arm sometimes. he pouted, knowing it’ll get you to respond to his joke. you replied to his joke. “i’m sorry, bub. yes they do face the sun, because you are the sun.”

his pout turned into a big grin, dimples poking out. he shook his head, “no, you’re the sun. no going against my word. i said it first.”

you rolled your eyes, “fine. i lost this time. i will win next time.”

“and i said, no matter how hard you try, i somehow still win,” he grinned. “i was better at pick up lines. but they were full of cringe. you always made fun of yourself when you thought of the cheesy lines to say. and then when we got home, i started sneezing like crazy. i ended up having allergies. even when you knew you were right, you never made me feel bad by saying i told you so.”

flipping to the next page. the last page. the last polaroids. you holding the gift of ear pieces he given you. a picture of you two with some nctzens and the members holding a sign that said will you marry me. another image captured everyone standing in front of the busking crowd. finally you two standing in front of the eiffel tower. the day jaehyun asked you to marry him is one of his favorite days. the perfect opportunity was when nct had visited paris for a couple of things on their schedules. he used your bucket list to his advantage and chose the point of how you wanted to do a busking. it took awhile for the approval to do one, as the managers needed to get the male a permit to do it. he’s never been so jittery when hearing the result of his plan. he had multiple, but he wanted to knock something off of your bucket list. “ah, the busking. you were so nervous about singing because you only ever did it when you’re scrolling through social media or playfully doing so when it was a karaoke night with the boys.”

“jae, i don’t know i am really nervous. the only times i ever sing is like when we’re at our apartment and it’s just you. or when it’s karaoke night with the guys,” you said as jaehyun led you through the streets of the city of love. he chuckled as you commented how you didn’t feel the romance in the air, as you expected it to be but sure was pretty. he listened as you compared paris, saying it different from the korean streets but shared similar feelings. the only difference was it shared a little bit more diversity among people. 

your hand in his, he squeezed it to reassure you, “you’ll be okay, baby. you shut everyone else out when you get so into the song so well. plus, the boys will be there, too. they’re part of your number one fanclub.” reaching the destination, you see the members already performing and gathered a small crowd. it grew bigger bit by bit.  the live sound from the band made your heart race more but also somehow made you calm down. it was exhilarating to say the least. you always enjoyed buskings similar to these. watching them back in korea was something you did when you and jaehyun ran errands and always made sure to reach the time the singing buskings would start. the tune of pandora’s box grew louder as you neared the make-shift venue. jaehyun quitely sang the song as he led you to where the managers were waiting for you both .they helped jaehyun put his ear-pieces on, adjusting the box into his back pockets. the managers handed him another box, revealing to be your own set of ear pieces. 

he showed you the ear pieces, taking it out of the box. you observed the ear pieces, reading the engraved words. you laughed, seeing that your inside joke landed as the design. you jokingly told jaehyun that if you were an idol that you would get a design on your earpieces that it would say be quiet, don’t cry on one and the other with i just want some milk. in your words, “it’s such an iconic line for teenage jaehyun.” you given him a side hug, showing your appreciation towards the ear-pieces even if you were going to only use them this one time. 

jaehyun helped you prepare for the performance, straightening the wires making sure they didn’t get caught within your undergarments. he slipped the clip onto your waistband, adjusting it so it wouldn’t be uncomfortable as you sat in the chair. “you ready, love?”

“yeah, a little nervous but just as we practiced.” you nodded your head. you both waited for the song to end. he wasn’t going to join them for a song wanting to prepare as much as he can before the proposal. the busking venue the managers chosen was cute. there was a white blanket hanging behind them, which projected videos and pictures of the boys. the idea showing the members first as they performed and it subtly transitioned to your memories together as you done your songs were entirely his idea. he knew that you kept a pile of sd cards lying around with the vlog material that you had, along with the pictures. you enjoyed capturing the moments as he does with his polaroid. he left his thoughts after seeing that the boys finished. johnny patted jaehyun on the back. jaehyun took your hand in his once again, staring at you with a small smile. he awaited your response, wanting to know your final response to performing. you nodded, confirming that you were ready. he walked towards the two chairs, letting you pick which one you wanted to sit in. some of the members cleared the leftover chairs, creating a space just for you two. he thanked them with a head bow, donghyuck and mark shooting a thumbs up that everything was ready to go. johnny manned the computer that was connected to the projector, prepared to start the video when it was the right time.

jaehyun handed you a microphone, and he introduced the two of you. he knew how hard you’ve been practicing ever since that he told you that the managers were able to make the busking happen. you worked hard for a straight month. he was sure that you could debut as an idol if you wanted to.

exactly how he said, you immersed yourself into the song well that you forgot that you were singing to a crowd. it was just you and him. it felt so nice to sing your heart out to someone, knowing that they’ll treat it well. you were the one who jaehyun wanted to spend the rest of his life with. he was sure of it. he couldn’t help but stare at you as you sang your verses. he certainly was whipped for you. well in the words of mark. he watch you smile as the second song ended. opening your eyes, you met them with jaehyun’s. the crowd cheering you both before he spoke again, “i got a little surprise for you.”

the countless nights he stayed up to complete the video were surely worth the loss sleep, as your reaction was worth it. you may have cried, but it was worth it. the boys and the fans that helped him were overjoyed to hear you utter yes. the crowd at the busking also cheered again for the successful proposal. he grinned, remembering the loud claps and whistles that were for you two. 

a tear dropping onto the page covered your smiles.

jaehyun wiped it off, but he couldn’t stop the incoming tears that soon fell onto the page. now he was here without you. he knew it was his fault. it was all his fault for you leaving him. he should have tried harder. he should have done something. he knows if he tried harder then that you would be there with him. he should have done better with the first argument you had. he should have listened to you and taken the time off from work. he should have learned from the first argument. he should have committed time to you more. he should have done it right the first time. he could have prevented these should haves and you would be right here with him.

but now here he is. he hoped to fix everything by watering the plant just like how he did with the sunflower earlier. now the given attention was a little too late as the sunflower finally let go all of its petals.

-

“Sunflowers just died Keep it sweet in your memory”

[theanimeview]

Theory: The True Voice of Yusuke Urameshi

By: Casea Mhtar, @madamekrow​

Yu Yu Hakusho is ultimately my favourite anime, to the point where I can’t bear the thought of liking an anime more than it. For example, Berserk (1997) will be my “number 1” while Yu Yu Hakusho has exceeded the list altogether because its pedestal is just that high. That is the length I must go to secure a strange sense of balance for myself and stave off yet another identity crisis for a different reason. So you can probably imagine how much chaos was thrown at me when I found out that Yusuke Urameshi’s voice actor is completely different than the one I vividly recall when I found myself rewatching the series a few weeks ago. I have a memory of my sister and I watching a single episode she had taped on VCR and we would specifically watch the credits nonstop. We were trying to memorize the song (with great success, I might add).

At the time, there was still no means of listening to the ending theme anywhere other than its source. YouTube wasn’t really a thing, and even if it was we didn’t have access to the same databases we have today. So we watched that part over and over and over again. I remember etching each image into our minds, every lyric into our internal roster of songs as it played on repeat. The names kept popping up just as they did before the last and the voice actor of Yusuke Urameshi, my favorite character, was none other than Yuri Lowenthal.

I distinctly recall thinking “Yuri, that’s a cool name” to myself as his name came up again and again. Not to be rude, but “Justin Cook” just isn’t exactly a name that would elicit such a thought from me and, indeed, never came to mind since I am certain it wasn’t in the credits of my beloved Yu Yu Hakusho VHS. 

So, in my rewatching of the show, present-day me had the initial assumption that what was going on here was a perverse version of the Mandela Effect. However, looking into it now, I feel that completely waters down my experience and doesn’t actually explain what happened. 

I mean, I can’t simply ignore my recollection as being a false memory, as every Mandela Effect is reasoned away with. No. I needed to find true reasoning for this madness. 

For the sake of convenience and for the lack of a better theory, I will settle on there being an unexplained dimensional shift. Certainly, any reasonable person could argue that I made a mistake. I simply misread the credits, maybe even pulled that name from somewhere else. Or perhaps Yuri was Yusuke’s voice actor from a different dub! But that isn’t the case as seen in this YouTube video comparing EVERYONE who has voiced Urameshi. 

So... Let’s say this was all a misunderstanding on my part. BUT THEN it didn’t just end with me incorrectly reading names in the credits over and over. I didn’t wrongly perceive the Funimation dubbing as being someone else and then call it a day. I was validated in my belief for a long period of time by outside sources.

.Hack//G.U. Vol. 1: Rebirth (2006)

The overall series of .Hack// is a subject I will certainly indulge in more in the future, but for the purpose of staying on-topic, I shall restrain myself. The reason I bring it up now is because in 2006, when .Hack//G.U. Vol. 1: Rebirth was released (I will always say it in full!), the protagonist--Haseo--sounded so familiar. I couldn’t quite figure it out until I saw who was credited with the voice acting. Out loud, in front of witnesses (if you count my birds), I said, “Yuri Lowenthal?. . . Wait, is that the voice of-”

I looked up his name to find he was-at that time-credited as the voice of Yusuke Urameshi. Quite a mistake that is since officially he is unlisted in the series yet multiple people around the world think otherwise, the same as me. Not only that, but updating all of Lowenthal’s pages to be credited with Haseo in addition to Urameshi. Many people had to review those pages, many people happened upon those pages and never bothered to correct them. That’s what really gets me. Sure, if my Ego was backed into a corner then yes, I can perhaps admit that my eyeballs had failed me and that’s all you’re gonna get out of me! Yet there is no copy I can find of him voicing the character online.

Could this be an example of lost media instead then? Well, no. Apparently not. Most anyone I’ve told about this believes I am confusing him with someone else. They may not remember “Justin Cook” at the top of their heads, however they are adamant about Yuri Lowenthal never, ever voicing Yusuke Urameshi. Because he didn’t... in this dimension.

Perhaps I truly am mixing him up his voice with a different character? Yuri Lowenthal is also famously the voice actor for Sasuke Uchiha in the english dub of Naruto. An extremely popular character from an anime that is surrounded by an enormous and ever growing fan base. The problem with that is, I’ve never watched Naruto. I didn’t even know Lowenthal was in any way a part of Naruto until I was somewhat adjusted into adulthood. When explaining my entire theory to a friend, I asked them if they can imagine the essence of an other-dimensional Yusuke within the voice of Haseo. 

“All I hear is Sasuke from Naruto,” They bluntly said.

I’ll be honest... That hurt more than it should have, but I swallowed my pride and looked into it since I’ve never actually heard what Sasuke sounds like.

What I begrudgingly find is that my friend was right. Again, this was the first time I had ever heard Yuri Lowenthal as Sasuke and I didn’t know that he was the voice actor until a few years prior. This entire ordeal leaves me feeling unnerved that there are so many loopholes being found in the False Memory Theory. It can’t be completely dismissed as large scale misinformation or misremembering. That is why I had to settle on the theory that there was some strange dimensional shift, even with how outlandish that sounds.

The Discovery

I don’t know when it occurred and I’m not sure how I missed it, but it happened. You would think being thrust out of your prior dimension, or being crammed into a different one, would have some sort of impact. Maybe that’s why I developed back problems during my teenage years, I can’t really say. All I can recall is the feeling of my stomach hitting the floor through the bottom of my feet when I finally found out. I was watching the DVD box set of Yu Yu Hakusho that my friend lent me and I could immediately tell something was not right. Yusuke didn’t sound anything like I remembered, the voice--the tone--was weird, his inflections were way off, it was all wrong! WRONG, I TELL YOU. So, to the internet I went only to find someone else being credited...

“Justin Cook this” and “Justin Cook that” appeared all over. There was even a video of him yelling “spirit gun” for a fan and I was still in disbelief! There was no way! This wasn’t possible! 

Apparently, in this dimension it is though, and that is a fact that I will have to live with for the rest of my life... or until reality throws me back to my own dimension. The knowledge that I will look crazy whenever I tell this story, as well as the reality that there could be more dubs out their with voices unknown. Not just voice actors, but entire animes—maybe video games, even people I thought I knew! Who knows what was left behind with Yuri Lowenthal as Urameshi! I don’t care to think about it too much. My heart is wounded enough I tell you. I already have a crippling fear of one day finding out my whole life is a lie—I don’t need to rack my brain about all of this as well.

In Conclusion,

Yuri Lowenthal was fantastic as Urameshi and I wish I could somehow put my memory into an audio clip for everyone to hear. Not so much to prove that he was better, but to solidify why my experience is very real to me. Though, if you did hear the Yusuke that I knew, I truly believe you would think it was pretty good at the very least. (Not that Justin is bad... just that it feels wrong to my beloved memory... sorry Mr. Cook.) On the bright side, Lowenthal is plenty successful and I am always rooting for him regardless. Sure, Justin Cook is my “number 1” Urameshi in this dimension, but the Yuri Lowenthal rendition that doesn’t exist in this world has exceeded the list all together in my heart. His pedestal is just too high.

What about those of you reading this? Do any of you have a similar experience? Maybe you also remember Yuri Lowenthal as Yusuke Urameshi! Let us know! (Let ME know! Please--I beg someone to find a copy if one exsists in this world. 😭) 

Happy Wednesday. I guess. Bye. 

[chopstickchild]

ok i need to rant for a bit (read at your own risk)

also tw for body image issues

for a bit of background, i do ballet, and im pretty damn serious about it. as in its the centre of my life and i plan to make a career of it.

well my mom is rly supportive about this, but sometimes she gets to be a bit too much. as in extremely insensitive about how her « helping me » makes me feel. the subject of obsession tends to be something important, or some milestone, such as a performance, competition, or audition. in this case it’s two audition videos: one for a prestigious international competition (which could change my life if i got in), and the other video is an audition video for my dream school (and again, life changing if i get in).

These two videos are EXTREMELY important, and we wanted everything to be as perfect as possible, but the focus on perfectionism is where the problem lies. i’ve gotten better about not dragging myself down over every single detail, but my mom on the hand has not. she doesn’t obsess over my dancing (i do that enough already) but over details like lighting, camera angle, the line my leotard makes, my shoe color, my bun angle, the amount of makeup, the video quality, etc. she has a really good eye for those sort of things since she used to be an artist (and majored in fine art), and if she was the one filming my videos there would be no problem there.

But evidently there is a problem (which is why i’m writing this all out cause istg if i don’t i WILL lose it). Actually there’s two, one per video, though the second problem has nothing much to do with everything mentioned before.

The first issue is something that’s been haunting me for two weeks, and not in the good halloween haunting way. The video for the competition was filmed over the course of a few weeks by one of my teachers, and she and my mom have an *interesting* relationship. as in ive learned to brush off my mom cussing her out in car rides or at home (which happened today twice lol). My teacher wouldn’t allow my mom to be in the studio to help with lighting, camera angle, etc., saying that the studio wouldn’t allow more than two people in at a time (a lie, cause when we went with my contemporary teacher for one section of the video my mom was able to go in and film that portion). My teacher is a really well intention person by the way, but since my mom is so similar to how her mom was, being in her prescence triggers her which i think may be why she tried to make it so she wouldn’t have to interact with her as much.

So anyways my teacher and i worked on the audition video and we finally completed it, but the way she filmed it was not up to my moms standards. so we filmed it again. and right now it’s STILL not up to my mom’s standards, but at this point there’s literally nothing we can do. the deadline is in a few days and there’s no way we can refilm it then. in terms of my dancing, i feel pretty satisfied, though it’s not perfect, but i feel ok sending it in. but for thé past few weeks i’ve been constantly hearing how the video isn’t good enough, and how it doesn’t present me well enough, and if my mom could just have filmed the barre and centre i would look so much better. and that if i really want to catch the judges eyes then the video quality would need to be better. and i argue back at that point, saying my dancing should be enough to do that, and that i’m not auditoning for a film school but for a DANCE competition. and i know my mom has a point. we are drawn to things well presented, even if the content may not be the best. but after hearing that my video is not up to par for WEEKS it hurts a lot. and if i ask her to stop focusing so much on that because at this point all that is doing is making us feel unsatisfied with something unchangable, i’m ignored and she goes on saying i don’t understand her point. I’m also told that she’s saying all this because she cares so much and wants me to succeed. and that is all true, but i don’t CARE that she’s saying all this because she wants to help me with my goal. there are so many more productive things to do than fixating on unchangable shit, and there’s a voice inside telling me that if she really cared about me, the real actual me and not the dancer side of me, she would take a moment to understand how much certain things she says hurts. no matter the intentions behind, no matter that she always adds that my dancing wasn’t the problem and that it was all my teachers fault (which also pokes me in a different way), i ALWAYS leave that conversation with an extremely tight knot in my chest and a bunch of self doubt. sometimes when the convo evolves into an argument, my mom tells me that it’s cause she’s stressed about this and the video and because she cares so much, but i’ve reached the point where i don’t give a fuck. i’m stressed too, and i care a TON. i sacrificed so fucking much for this (not to say she hasn’t like good lord i worry so much about her sometimes) but being stressed and caring about something does not excuse harping on about something someone has EXPLICITLY told you to please stop going on a bout and try to let go of. multiple times. which is why i really want to scream sometimes, and why i decided to just let it out here. (it’s worked by the way. as of right now the knot inside has loosened and the negative energy about this problem has almost dissolved, which why i’m now moving on to the second issue)

ISSUE NO. 2- thé audition video for my dream school. now this is a different direction than the other video problem because this video hasn’t been filmed yet. so i should start out with saying that as a by product of doing ballet, i have body image issues. it got worse over the course of the past year because i put on a few pounds. and i know that honestly, i shouldn’t worry too much, but doing an art form where your body is constantly critiques in so many ways kinda has a way of making you always wish it was better. now my mom knows about how i feel about my body, and in the past she has completely invalidated my feelings if i try to talk about it (because in her eyes i’m perfect yaddayaddayadda and i’m just manifesting these insecurities out of nowhere cause i have nothing to be worried about). the thing is tho (and i’m pretty thankful for this) is that she will tell me if i’ve gained weight, and she will help me if i want to lose some and stuff. so it’s like she has this weird mix of telling me to not worry about my weight cause i’m perfectly fine, but also telling me that i need to watch what i eat more and that i need to lose a little weight. and i hate it so much. recently i just stopped weighing myself every morning cause i realized i was literally basing how i felt the whole day off the number on the scale. and honestly i’m so much happier now cause i stopped. everything is the same except that one thing, and i have no intention to start obsessively weighing myself again.

And that brings me to issue two. because we were talking about the video for the school, and my mom said “you need to start weighing yourself every morning again”. well i saw every single color of the rainbow when she said that, and i was enraged. because my instinct was to be angry in order to protect one of my biggest insecurities, my body. the implications that came from telling me i needed to start weighing myself more HURT, and thinking about it right now is making me almost cry. and her saying that also pissed me off SO MUCH. because my mom KNOWS how i feel about my body, about my weight, and my eating habits. i have explicitly stated MANY time that i would prefer if she would not make those little comments about those subjects, and i have let her know how much it hurts me. i don’t think she understood that though, despite the amount of times i’ve completely shut down or started crying. but that one comment is hanging over my head right now, acting as a smoke cloud twisting around my heart and making me have some rlly self deprecating thoughts. and so tomorrow morning if she asks me what my weight is i don’t know what i’ll do. i’m considering just saying something above what ik she wants it to be, no matter what i may actually be, but i’ve also considered just tossing the scale in the rubbish bin. actually won’t do that though cause i would get in a ton of trouble lol. but a problem is that as a result of her comment, i’ve also begun considering starving myself, of making myself throw up, and other unhealthy ways to lose weight because right now, i feel like my body is too fat filled, too squishy for ballet. which is bullshit but the negative voice is drowning the positive one out now.

ok i have gotten all the rant energy out now, and no longer feel like punching a wall, cry screaming, cussing out the next person i see, or any assortment of high negative energy release techniques that would hurt others or myself. if you read this far, props to you cause i sure as hell would not have been able to make it thru that 😂.

also i should add that my mom and i are SUPER close and she honestly a great person in every aspect except certain dance related stuff. i really really appreciate everything she has done for me, all her sacrifices and all the effort she has put in to make sure i am where i am now. it’s just sometimes i feel like she forgets that i’m a person with feelings about topics, not just a dancer. thank you for coming to my tedtalk 😌

[1-800-channie]

Cigarettes & Mint | Chapter 3

→ Chapter: 1  |  2  |  3  | 4 |  5

→ Genre: Very Angst / Fluff / Very Suggestive / Highschool!Au

→ Warning: Strong language; slight eating disorders; cursing; getting drunk; bullying; sexual themes; heartbroken; 

→ Pairing: Badboy!Hyunjin x Innocent!Reader;

→ Summary: When your ego is bigger than your brain, you don’t mind breaking someone’s heart. As soon as the smell of cigarettes and mint invade your nostrils, your heart starts beating faster and your life starts falling apart. I bet you will end up broken.

→ Playlist for the Chapter:

  ↳ Falling for You - Peachy ↳ Last Thing - Jack and Jack  ↳  Just Dance - BTS (J Hope solo) ↳ Slow Down - Chase Atlantic  ↳ No Limit - G Easy ft Cardi B and ASAP Rocky  ↳ Candy - The Rose  ↳ Blue Side - J Hope

→ Words: +4K

→ N/A: Hiii everyone! I just want to clarify that some things that may seem a bit confusing now, will be explained later, please be patient. This chapter is really long and important, the playlist is bigger because i couldn’t choose just five songs…Prepare your heart ;)

[Previous] [Next] [Masterlist]

[01:00 PM/  DAY TWO OF THE BET]

‘Just Dance’ is one of the greatest songs you have ever listened to. J Hope’s voice never fails to put you in an enjoyable mood. Mumbling the lyrics silently and getting lost on the hypnotizing beat, you put your computer and the romance book you are currently reading on your locker, that is full with sticky notes, so you won’t forget important things. Like the movie night that you do every Wednesday with Hendery at his house, where you both cuddle, drink beer and watch memes at 4 AM.

As you finish organizing your locker with the new things you closed the door, only to find an unknown body leaned against the wall, a smirk placed on his filled lips. You weren’t expecting him to be there, causing you to be surprised and scream in fear.

But you had no time to actually. Because his large hand was upon your lips to shut you up. With widened eyes, you finally understood who it was, and you felt your body vibrate just by securing eyes with him. His dark brown orbs were even more impressive just a few inches away from your appearance, and the mole under his right eyelid was the cutest thing you have ever seen.

“Can i take my hand off now?” Hyunjin questioned laughing. “You won’t scream anymore, right?” He jokes, knowing pretty well that he startled you, that’s why you screamed.

The people walking by would be interested in what was going on if it wasn’t Hyunjin, but the tall smoker seems to terrify everyone, so one even dares to speak to him.

You shake your head from one side to the other, telling him, no, to get a reaction out of him. But it wasn’t what you expected. He came closer to your ear and murmured:

“Then should I shut you up with my lips?” The smirk on his lips made it harder not to blush and kinda tempted, your hands took his hand away from your mouth.

You felt warm all over…

“No-no dont do-do that ill shut up.” You stuttered.

That simple action made he tall boy close his eyes, throw his eyes back and bite his lip. God damn, how could you be so fucking ideal? His body really needs you under him, just so the memories of his fantasies would go away.

After he dropped you at home, yesterday, he went straight to bed, the guilt was burning him alive and he needed to overlook it. He lighted a cigarette and laid down on his bed, hoping the faulty feeling would fade away with the clouds smoke.

He fell asleep sometime after, but for his poor luck, you were in his dreams, dressed only in his white T-Shirt, your nipples noticeable and your hair disordered because of him. The images of your whiny moans, your bushy cheeks… He truly was getting crazy.

“Do you need anything?” You ask, bringing him back to his mind. What did he want from you this time?

The truth is that the goal for today is to push you away from Hendery. Starting by going to lunch with you.

“Wanna have lunch with me?” Hyunjin suggested with a genuine smile.

“I always eat with-”

“I heard he had a school trip today, and he isn’t here… May i be your company?” He insisted, interrupting you.

Your head brought the memories of what happened in the canteen just two days ago, and your entire body quivered. He is going to bullie you again… But would he really? Even after yesterday’s phenomenal date?

“Well… Hmmm… I’ll eat alone, it’s alright.” You denied him and started to walk away from him towards the Canteen.

He couldn’t let you go…

Something inside of you, probably your brain, was advising you to walk faster, get away from him. Something is incorrect, your mind knows it… But of course you only listen to your heart, and when Jin called your name you stopped right where you were:

“Please, princess…” That nickname… “I’ll buy you food! Everything you want!” He told you while grabbing your hand, and looking in your deep brown eyes. He knows you are too weak, especially when it comes to him.

“Ok, ok, fine… Lets go.” You agreed giving up.

Hyunjin yelled ‘YES’ making you giggle, he even did a tiny jump, his eyes sealed and a lovely smile on his appearance.

Before you could prepare what was going on he was running and pulling you with him, crossing the noisy and loaded street, arriving at the supermarket just in a few minutes.

“What do you want to eat?” Hyunjin questioned cutely, his arm sneaking his way around your marked waist, instantly making you shy.

“Hmm, i dont know…” You answer flustered, he is paying for the food, so you feel like you shouldn’t waste too much money, and also, if he saw how much you actually eat, he would be disgusted.

“I will eat..NOODLES”  He screamed, making you laugh quietly, and slap his shoulder playfully.

The market has multiple people within, and they dont need a turbulent teen yelling. When he feels your ‘slap’ he pouts and starts fake crying, eyes shut closed.

You are in public now, is he for real? What is the best way to shut him up?

You move near to him, while he still is fake crying and pouting and you peck his lips. It was quick, but enough to make you feel shy. He barely felt your lips against his, but the warmth and softness made it pretty clear that you kiss him.

When he forced his eyes open you were already running away from him, getting lost on the infinite corridors full with food and candy. He bites his lip, cursing at himself, and runs after you, hearing you laugh in an exciting way.

Of course, he caught you simply, your small legs didn’t run half as his long ones, so his arms wrapped itself around your waist and he pulled you against his body. The essence of cigarets and mint invaded your nose, and you smiled, his embrace felt just like home.

You lingered like that for a total minute. You could feel his heartbeat in your back, beating naturally, the opposite of yours, that felt like collapsing with love. Hyunjin used that time to let your sweet perfume invade his nostrils.

“Can you let me go?” You ask, tilting your head to the side so you could see his handsome face. He shakes his head from one side to the other.

“You are such a bad girl… Not giving me enough time to taste you and then running away from me after…” His seductive voice narrates you. “What should be your punishment?” He hmm’s, acting like he was thinking of something, but the shyness was taking your whole body and you escaped his safe arms.

“I’ll eat some fruits.” You changed the subject. “Oh, look… Pineapple.” You said awkwardly, picking up the cold plastic box with the fruit cut in cubes.

Hyunjin shut a laugh that almost escaped his plump lips from your panicked reaction with his hand.

“You are only eating that? Are you crazy?” He said in an annoyed tone. “You will eat noddles, drink some juice and eat the fruits, you understand?” He adverted you pointing his index finger and almost touching your nose.

You nodded shyly.

After he paid for everything, both of you wandered shortly to a park, where there was a children’s playground, bright colors giving a happy aura to it… All around you, there were tall trees full with leaves painted in vivid green, the birds were singing and you loved it, it felt so natural and innocent.

“This is pretty…” You confess amazed, examining the trees and enjoying the fresh smell of the growing grass.

“You never came here before?” He asked sitting on the wooden bench and starting to eat the noodles. At the supermarket he heated some water and shed it on the noddle cup because it needed two minutes to be ready, so he could eat it as soon as he arrived at the spot.

“No… i dont really leave my bedroom…Only to go to Hendery’s place.” You pathetically said, turning around.

In your back, the smoker rolled his eyes and pretended to throw up, on the mention of your perfect best friend.

“You are so rude, didn’t even wait for me.” You pouted, as you sat next to him, starting to eat the tasty food.

“I’m sorry, princess, I’m very hungry…” He smiled shyly. “Next time i will wait for you.” He winked.

Wait, he said… next time? So he plans to be with you again…

You ate the food quietly, the only audible sounds were you and him chewing, the happy laughs of a child playing on the playground, and the chirping of the free birds, that were flying around, above your head.

As you ate everything, your hungriness felt satisfied. You missed this feeling… The feeling of eating without worrying about your parents yelling at you that you are too fat.

You stood up and walked around for a bit, but the sun felt too hot, burning your pale skin in an annoying way and you sat on the fresh grass, laying down your body right after. It felt great, the cold feeling of the grass against your heated body.

Hyunjin laid down beside you, admiring your happy face and wondering what would feel like to be as calm as you, not having worries, not having to be worried to come home and met a drunk mom yelling at her young son because his father disappeared without a sign and broke her heart.

Little did he know what you lived with your dad because your parents were divorced.

“You look really pretty like this, lemme take a picture of you…” He warned you, but you were too caught in the birds flying in the sky to listen. “Woahh~ look how pretty!” Hyunjin recognized you, and when you noticed yourself on his phone you widened your eyes and took his phone out of his hands, ready to delete the proves of this secret moment.

You started to run away from him again, the wind pushing your hair back, his phone on your hands, while you tried to make that picture disappear.

The next thing you felt was your head banging against something hard and your body falling backward on the grass. Hyunjin laughed loudly, almost losing balance as he watched you rub your forehead in pain, a cute pout on your lips and small tears appearing at the corners of your eyes.

He hovered you, resting his weight on both of his forearms, placed by the side of your head, his legs resting in the middle of yours. The position immediately made the pain you felt disappear only to be replaced by a shy sensation that took over your body.

Hyunjin’s experienced lips kissed your forehead, at the exact place where you banged it, and nextly he took a look at your red cheek, you couldn’t look more adorable.

“This time you can’t run from me.” He asserted against your lips and kissed you right after. His margins were gentle with you, they pecked yours a couple of times, so after he could lick your lips to ask for permission to slide inside your mouth without scaring you.

The feeling of his cold lip ring meeting your lip made you moan against his mouth instantly, turning you on unconsciously, and that only motivated him to kiss you harder, but still with care. His tongue playfully fighting with yours.  

You felt his large, veiny hand graze over your stomach, then higher, where his fingertips softly brushed your boob. You whined, biting his bottom lip and gently pulling away, his hand was, now, caressing your cheeks:

“I’ve wanted to do this for a while.” He confesses rolling to the side, falling by your side.

“Hyunjin…” You whispered breathless, your lips glistening from the kiss. “That was my first kiss…” You confess, looking at the clouds, too embarrassed to face him.

“Really?” The big boy next to you asked. “That’s great… I’m glad to be your first.”

This wasn’t what his brain was supposed to let his mouth slip… Shit, he is already getting attached, and it’s only been almost two days.

He needs to make you his fast, so he won’t fall in deeper. The party Minho is throwing today seems the best option, he can get you a little drunk, enough to make you open up and feel less shy, but remember what happened.

“Do you want to come to a party with me later?” He challenges you, licking his lips in hope.

You thought for a bit, you never leave your house, not because your father didn’t let you, but because you feel more comfortable there. Your dad complains that you need to live more, and this seems a great time to try it.

And deep down, this is a fabulous opportunity to get more intimate to Hyunjin…

“Yeah, i can go.” You answer surprising Hyunjin.

“You want to?” He questions in doubt.

“Yeah… When will you pick me up?” You ask staring at his surprised face, thinking how cute he looked with messy hair.

“I’ll be there at 10 PM.” He informs you with a smirk.

‘Well, this was way too easy’ Hyunjin recognizes to himself… Tonight, he will use you, and then he will leave you, so he can move on with his life without being bothered by you.

His thoughts make him smirk, but when he takes a look at your radiant smile, he nearly wants to give up on the stupid bet.

[10:00 PM/  DAY TWO OF THE BET]

Hyunjin waited patiently at the front door of your house, for you, feeling a little more nervous than he thought he should. He wasn’t expecting you to open the door, he thought that your mom or dad would have done it because its what usually happens in movies… right?

You looked simple and innocent, as usual. Your hair was completely straight, falling on your shoulders flawlessly, the makeup you are wearing is the usual, nude lipstick and black eyeliner drawn experiencedly on your eyes, your lashes looked long and graceful. The black plain t-shirt was stuffed under your striped patterned skirt that reached the middle of your thigh, in black and white. On your feet, your high heels were also dark and made you taller and chic.

He expected you to use a tight dress that would make your ass pop out, but this seemed just like you, and still, you manage to look magnificent.

“How am i?” You ask looking at your feet. “I never went to a party so i dont really know what to wear…” You confess shy.

“You look ethereal, princess,” Hyunjin smirks. “So, can you gimme your number, so if i lose you inside i can call you, and go after you?.”

“Oh well, my phone broke and i dont have another one… So hm… It’s useless.” So that’s why he never saw you with your phone, yours is broken.

“It’s alright. That means i will have to stay close to you all night…” Hyunjin replied in a flirty tone. You laughed.

“Dont leave me alone there, please.” You joke as both of you walk back to his car, the streets were illuminated by the city lights, night butterflies flying around them.

When the car was leaving, you took the time to pay attention to him and his outfit. As typical, he looked sinful:

The white t-shirt he was wearing was hidden under a large blue jacket, he was wearing a pair of black ripped jeans, that hugged his legs excellently, especially his glorious thighs. The lip ring was the same silver colored one, just like the necklace he had resting on his chest.

“You are staring, Sun.” He warned you without taking his eyes out of the road but smirking.

“Oh.. I’m sorry, you just look hot…” You confess in middle of laughs, he shakes his head, laughing as well.

The rest of the ride was calm but heated. His hand was sensually resting on your knee, and sometimes, is fingers would travel a little further up in your leg, making you shiver.

Hyunjin loved to see you all shy and in a loss of words.

“Welcome home!” Minho shouted at both of you loudly, the music from the living room was loud, and he could barely even hear himself.

“Yeah, whatever.” The brown-haired boy hissed while taking your hand and dragging you away from his nasty best friend in a guarding way.

“Have fun!” Minho yelled once again, a naughty smirk placed on his thin lips that made you feel in risk.

Hyunjin noticed how your expression changed and he hugged you, your face was hidden in his chest while he wrapped his arms around your waist, his brain was cloudy in fear, guilt, and anger.

“I’ll defend  you, dont worry, princess.” He whispered in your ear and he caressed your hair affectionately.

As soon as he saw the disgusting grin on his best friend face he felt like the fault would swallow him alive. He is starting to feel something for you, and he can’t. He can’t love you the way you do, he can’t be there, you deserve someone like Hendery, not someone like him.

The only way of him to forget this is to drink, even though he prefers to smoke, the alcohol never fails to make him feel better. The worries being temporarily replaced with joy.

“YOU WANNA BEER? COKE?” He asks yelling, the music was way too heavy, and it was echoing inside his head like a spell.

“I ACCEPT A BEER.” You answer back yelling as well. Hyunjin gives you a sign to stay where you are, and you do so.

The music was good, G easy was one of your favorite rappers, and while “Him and I” was playing you mumbled the lyrics perfectly, loving the relaxed atmosphere.

Changbin was watching you from far away, sprawled on the couch drinking some Sprite. A pretty girl all over him, but she wasn’t you… As soon as he caught you alone he stood up and went to talk to you:

“Hey Kim Sun, how are you?” He asked sweetly close to your ear. He is shorter than Hyunjin, but still just a few inches taller than you.

“I’ve been good, thanks, Binnie.” You answer him by his nickname.

Shit, you haven’t called him that in so long… He misses being your friend. He misses your loud laugh, he missed how both of you would spill the lyrics to the best rappers on the English and Korean industry together.

That stupid Hendery had to come and tear you apart from him…

“Hyunjin is being good to you?” He asks close to your ear again, the guilt of agreeing with his friends making him go crazy.

“Yes, he is so friendly and playful…” You tell him, naive.

“Sunny…” He starts by using your favorite nickname. “I got something to confess to you…”

For Hyunjin’s sake, he caught his friend talking to you and got back to your side in a rush.

“Changbin, man. Leave her alone.” Hyunjin says between his teeth. “You can’t see me with a girl that you try to take her away from me.”

The short man rolls his eyes and winks at you, walking away without saying a word.                              

Hyunjin seemed stressed, something in his face was clear that it was wrong. You wanted to ask if everything is alright, but you’re afraid of being disturbing.

“What was he talking about?” The lip ringed boy asks while handing you the beer.

“No big deal, just asking how am i…” You answer taking a big gulp at the alcoholic drink surprising him. “I and Hendery drink beers at his house if you are wondering.” You inform him,  laughing at his shook expression.

As time went by you were lightly drunk, you weren’t feeling flustered anymore, leaving your body do and say what he wanted. Again, G Easy was playing, making an urge to dance fill your veins, so you just sealed your eyes and swung your hips with the beat of ‘no limit’.

You knew the lyrics to all the song, and when you started to yell them while moving your hips around Hyunjin though he was in heaven, where the innocent Kim Sun disappeared and you became a sexy goddess.

His body walked further towards you and squeezed his body upon yours. You leaned your head on his shoulder and made pressure with your ass on his pelvis, whispering in his ear ‘Fuck him then I get some money’ at the same time as Cardi B.

The arousal was trying to take control of Hyun’s weak body, and when you bitted his earlobe he lost it. His big hands gripped your hips and he pressed you harder against him.

The smoke inside the living room was making the scene feel like a dream, the lights were almost dimmed and you looked fucking breathtaking like this.

“Lets get out of here.” He whispered in your ear while dragging you out of the living room and taking you outside to the garden, where a girl was passed out on the grass.

You sat down on the edge of the rectangular pool and took your high heels, emerging your feet inside the not-so-cold water. He looked at you confused, but the moonlight reflecting on your skin was making his drunk body forget everything that wasn’t connected with you.

“You are fun when drunk.” Hyunjin jokes at you, putting a strap of hair behind your ear.

“Hmm, thank you i guess.” You confess sassily, a grin placed on your pale lips.

“I wanna kiss you.”

“Then do it, coward.” You play flirty, eyebrow arched and bottom lip caught between your white teeth.

Hyunjin didn’t think twice, he just invaded your mouth with his. Both of you tasted like beer, but it didn’t bother you. His lips were cold, maybe because it was chilly outside, and the lip ring felt great against your tongue, as you licked his bottom lip.

“Fuck, you are going to be the death of me…” He whispers against your mouths as your lips parted.

You laughed, shaking your head and looking at the sky. The full moon is your favorite thing to admire because it reminded of you. Lonely and underrated.

A wild idea came to your mind, and if you weren’t drunk you would do it, but the alcohol spoke louder than your sober side, and you pushed hyunjin to the pool.

He fell with a noisy, funny, and surprising yell, that made you laugh your ass off. But, sadly for you, as soon as he came up to the surface he pulled your legs and you feel inside too. The temperature of the water is warmer than you expected, because of the icy wind that was out of the pool.

The brown-haired man looked at you in pure desire, you look like the purest yet sexiest angel. Hair wet and lost on the surface of the water, t-shirt glued yo your chest, making it obvious the outlines of your chest and nipples, that were hard because of the sudden change of heat.

He swam towards you, his hands cupped your jaw and he kissed you, hungrily this time, devouring your lips merciless. Gently and without you noticing, he trapped you on the cold pool border.

“Get on my lap, princess.” He demanded you, and so you did obediently, your back pressed against the cold tiles and your legs wrapped around his waist. His lips got attached to your neck and you did nothing to stop him, too lost in the feeling.  His fingers slowly traveled close to your boobs and he massaged them, making your back arch and throw your head back, mouth hanging open and eyes closed shut.

The feeling was indescribable, but you could try. It was like just the simple touch of his fingertips made your body feel on fire, completely burning you alive in desire.

As he bit your collarbones, his slim fingers played with your nipples. You moaned his name loudly, making his ego grow, how he missed this feeling of control:

“Hyunjin~…” You moaned lost in the feeling.

“Tell me what you want, princess…” His seductive tone whispered against your skin.

“I want you to-”

“WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING HERE, KIM SUN!” A familiar voice yelled, scaring both of you. You got off Hyunjin, only to find Hendery in his pijama and a sad expression on his face. “This is why you didn’t come to the movie marathon? To be making out on a pool, with a smoker, in a house that you dont know who belongs to, drunk?”

Your best friend rhetorically asks, and then you remember, today is Wednesday, you should be at his house… You instantly feel guilty.

“Hendery i-” You call him, getting out of the pool and walking towards him.

“No… Dont!” He yells, pointing his finger at you. “You did this. I warned you… I warned you and you still did it.” He says trying to calm himself down, he doesn’t want to hurt you.

Hyunjin also gets out of the pool and stays behind you, admiring the scene.

“HE IS PLAYING WITH YOU SUN! WAKE UP, AN ASSHOLE LIKE HIM DOESN’T KNOW WHAT LOVE IS!”

“YOU ARE YELLING NONSENSE NOW, DAMN.” You yell back, regretting immediately. “You dont know him the way i do… you don’t even have proofs of what are you saying. Please…” Hendery feels the hot tears rolling down his cheeks.

“I will prove it to you.” He says before storming out of there, leaving you broken and confused behind.

You fall on your knees in tears… What did you just do?

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