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#SOMEONE came to help me complete it :)
nevermeyers · 26 days
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I find it very realistic that Megumi wants to try to live for someone else again instead of for himself directly. I mean it. It will take him a long time to recover from what he has suffered, which was too much for a child (because he is still a child!!). At first I thought Megumi was going to pick himself up, but looking at it from another perspective and analyzing my own experience with mental health: it makes sense. Megumi needs help. And he will get it. Yuuji and his friends will teach him to live for himself. The ending of Megumi's character is a new beginning, unlike the others.
Btw, did y'all notice his scars are Sukuna's? The way i'd kms on the spot, poor boy :( he's going to live with the curse of remembering every time he looks on the mirror
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danothan · 1 year
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Just reading some comics and saw a panel I thought you might like. :)
ah fuck, characters reminiscing always get to me ;__;
but i will never ever get over that fond way these two talk to and abt each other. especially when they’re poking fun, you can just hear the love in their voice it’s SICK.
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the halbarry love language is annoying each other, but even more than that, it’s being each other’s exceptions
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kenobihater · 7 months
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you ever write up a combination of words you're really proud of at the time bc you think it's vivid but it's actually so atrocious that you remember it eight years later bc it's burned itself into your long-term memory? just me?
#i'm literally laughing my entire ass off rn. i can't believe i found this fic i wrote at 15 and orphaned when i came to my senses abt both#my complete inability and total aversion to writing first person as well as the fact that the english language should never have been#subjected to its words being done dirty like this 😭#also i straight up fucking LIED in the authors note??? i said i'd broken my knee as a kid which is categorically false. i fell down some#stairs and banged it up and it's a tiny bit weak ig but i didn't break it? all any teens born after y2k know is eat hot chip and lie...#still not over the first line... the flip flop bit i remembered but i'd COMPLETELY forgotten 'a shriek seeped out of my throat'. girl. what.#how does a shriek seep exactly? the world may never know...#and the use of 'groped' is also sending me 😭 AND 'crash bash whump thump' girlllll send help holy shit i can't stop coughing & laughing#the rest of the fic isn't quite this bad but it's very purple yet ineloquent and rough. it's a good reminder of how much i've improved and#honestly i'd rather read this utterly amature fic bc it's at least charming in its lack of skill rather than infuriating like some of my#oneshots that are still on my page bc they're more comprehensible but just bad enough to make me cringe. getting mad at this oneshot would#be like getting bad at a kid's stick figure drawing. like. it's just kinda cute to see someone starting out on their creative journey#my old sw oneshots on the other hand are like the awkward growing pains of puberty. you just can't help but wince at the reminder#this is okay to reblog btw bc it's objectively hilarious and i don't mind ppl finding humor in it#len speaks
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wat-zu · 5 months
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Absolutely love your art. I want to nom it.
Also, Hollow Heads Siblings my beloveds,,,
Theyre the doomed siblings ever its not even funny
#Oouugh i have thoughts abt the hollowhead siblings. How theyre so intricately tied to eachother since their birth but they'd be#Eachother'd downfall. Esp when it's Dark and his relationship with the others#Dark would never understand what chosen went through. Mainly bc i think chosen is used to fighting his internal battles on his own#While he was in captive as an ad blocker. He loves Dark. He's grateful for Dark bc without him he wouldn't be free#But Dark isnt exactly someone reliable enough for Chosen to get the necessary healing he wants and needs#But that won't stop Dark from trying to fix him. Creates the virus for revenge. As chosen watches his brother spiral and spiral#As he watches him drift further away. Unable to get him back without a shouting match. As he watches with his heart heavy and cracked at-#Their stiffed interactions and strained relationship. He can't remember a time where they shared geniune laughs.#Then tsc coming came and changed everything.#Because this is someone who went through Chosen's pain albeit a lil differently. Someone who knows. Someone who /understands/. And this-#Someone is so much more younger than them and had to go through that pain in such a short amount of time since their birth#He sees himself in them. And he's rather walk up to alan demanding to get his hands cuffed than let tsc fester in that pain.#So tsc became chosen's priority. Healed eachother in many ways than one and are at echother's beck and call if need be.#As for Dark. I think he'd manipulate tsc into using him for his revenge. After stalking out his code and finding out about his potential#And TSC cant help but fall for his manipulations. Since this person is very very important to Chosen and they want so badly to impress-#Them both. They agreed and overtime grew to love eachother. And overtime Dark shifted his goals just a tad bit. Getting TSC more and more-#Involved. Since hey if Chosen doesn't like touching alan with a 10 ft pole why not let this kid do. And TCS agrees to this thinking that-#This is it. This is can finally heal them completely. Finally out of sight and out of mind. Finally can't live without the pain lingering#And chosen watches them with a sense of deja vu. At loss at what to do and so so afraid to lose two of his lil siblings#Then shit hits the brick UBSJDBSJSN#They make me so ill im not even kidding when i said theyre so so very very doomed!!!!!!!!!#This is abt the au btw BAHHAHAHABHA
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ark1os · 5 months
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I didnt know the tags woulr be so much i shouldve just wrote a long vent 😭😭😭 rip
#lol. there are still times where my brain goes omg what if you’re really a narc#and then i go out of my way to make sure my friends are as comfortable as possible and thati meet all their needs and i apologize every few#minutes for something silly or for maybe hurting them unintentionally and then i remember of#every fallout w people in my life where i was always taking responsibility for my actions n for my role to what led to the fallouts no#matter how toxic the person was and i remember all the times i geniunely apologized to my siblings for my mistakes (without them pointing#out i did smth wrong) and i remember all the tomes someone told me i hurt them and i owned up to it and apologized and then i go#oh ywa. maybe not ?#bonus: all the times i helped someone out in secret to bring some ease in their life without ever telling them or bragging eith it or#using it against them or reminding them that i did x y z for them#and then all the times where my guilt ate me up at nights and i cried and the times where i brought out the best of people because my love#is Nuturing. yea#AND I GUESS THE FACT THAT MY EX BEST FRIEND TOLD ME IM A NARC AND I STRAIGHT UP WENT OMG YEA! PROBABLY! BECAUSE I WOULDVE BELIEVED HER#ANYTHING 😭😭😭😭 BECAUSE INWAS SO SURE SHE KNEW ME BETTER THAN I KNEW MYSELF! 😭😭😭#BECAUSE I HAD LOST MYSELF COMPLETELY IN THE FRIENDSHIP 😭😭😭😭 NOT VERY NARC OF ME 😭😭😭😭😭😭#but yea. i guess abandonment issues apathy and lack of communication skills (which leads to passive aggressivness) will make you look like a#narc i get where she came from! but still. if i ever see someone diagnose other people i will simply tell them to shut up#especially based on sentences taken out of context. not very sexy#and also very stupid.#rationally seen i shouldve kicked out the thought that im probably not one when my therapist told me theres no chance i am but. when you get#treated like a freaking mondter from the people you’ve trusted deeply. it does something to you >.>#also when my therapist said that she has No rights to make Any diagnosis or statements about other people because whatever i tell her its#going to tell her more about me than them. i shouldve just dtopped believing it honestly. like freaking sideeye to those therapists thst#told my ex friends im a narc. and a big fat kiss to my therapist for being such a beautiful empathstic underztanding patient beautiful and#kind person#alhamdulillah ^-^#kicked out the thought thst i am one *#and also a big fat sorry for being hsving no empathy. my communication skills are getting brtter and im working on my abandonment issues#(sfter being abandoned by my closest friends and family hello this is so sexy of me) and im soooo much more st peace w myself n i like and#care aboyt myself ^-^ even just writing a list of positive things ahout me is smth i wouldve never done two years ago#(also my family took me back alhamdulillah eheh)
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imwritesometimes · 10 months
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Turkey day 2023 in the books. Cooked it all. Will clean it all tomorrow 😴 now is for zoning out in bed on tumblr with the kitties
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bidokja · 1 year
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i just realized y'all don't know me well enough to know my habit of taking extensive notes for anything i read/watch and making custom excel spreadsheets for funsies
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lover-of-mine · 10 months
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Per your post about Gale, I think it boils down to the fact that Liam Hemsworth is charmless. I remember that during the first Hunger Games movie era a lot of people really did like Gale and wanted to see him with Katniss, this was also right after Liam and Miley got engaged. But then they had broke up and a lot of people blamed Liam for Miley's "spiral" in 2013/2014 and the release of Wrecking Ball and all of this coinciding with the release of the remaining movies, his reputation never quite recovered so no one really had sympathy for Gale because he had the face of the guy that seemingly destroyed America's sweetheart. Not to mention this was also the height of Chris Hemsworth's career and between Liam and Chris, Chris is just more attractive and charming and Liam just looked like a dude struggling and failing to get out of his much more talented older brother's shadow, like a nepotism baby almost (even though Liam was the first of the two to really be "famous" because of his relationship to Miley.)
This makes a lot of sense, actually, the drama with Miley definitely didn't help and he really doesn't have Chris' charm (or talent) so things never looked good for him. I think there's also the way that even during the hunger games promo, Josh was such a compelling presence that his charm completely eclipsed Liam too. There was nothing trying to make us go for Gale. Not in the series or with Liam. I think you're right, he wasn't an appealing person, no matter how objectively hot he is, and things kept stacking against him.
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pen-papers · 2 years
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💬
It’s funny when I look at all these sketches,videos,and speed-paints I’ve done over the years, that I still actually doubt that I did them in someway. Even though that’s exactly why I record and save so much of my progress in wips and sketches! There are many times I actually have to stop and remind myself that I actually have been putting in the work and effort to make this stuff that I like.
because I know my mind well enough, that waaay in the back, there’s this little voice saying “but did you really do that?”
and it will suddenly make me reevaluate everything i’ve done up till now.
it’s agonizing in a really odd way.
#i know the term in imposter syndrome#but my brain remembers that post saying are you even good enough to HAVE imposter syndrome?#then i'll just be like oh crap ....maybe your right...#and it's not even the idea of being good enough for something / i just like making art#but i think I've been taught to divorce myself from my art so quickly overtime /that it doesn't feel like it's mine anymore?#even when I sit there and make it right there in front of myself? Stressing and worrying about the slightest details?#a mind is a troublesome thing#💬#This post came up because I woke up in a cold sweat last night thinking about all my work#and the fear was that someone would show up after all these years to say that my work wasn't really mine and that I faked it#and the killer part is that my mind without hesitation was like "oh shit...what if they are right / what if i've been faking all this stuff?#What if they find something that completely shows me up to be a fake#then the rational part of me tries to reason / that there isn't anything to fake- i'm just making art to have fun and enjoy making it /#Its part of the reason i said all those years ago- that I only post the videos in the end for myself to watch / for me/#so that there isn't the element of trying to amaze and woo others#(it's actually helped me enjoy my work a lot more since i implemented that years ago honestly)#I don't know what this type of irrational fear is /#to me it's on the same level of being somewhere and seeing a no weapons allowed sign -#and suddenly thinking some kind of gun will magically appear on my person that I've never touched or looked at before#its befuddling#well anyways i hope ya'lls saturday is going well- i have to clean up and ive been procrastinating it terribly
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the-casbah-way · 2 years
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hey girl is it normal to constantly feel like a lost child watching all these adults walk past and waiting for one of them to take your hand so you can just go home but instead none of them can see you even when you start screaming and you just always want to go home even when you are home and you always feel so guilty and scared and like ur walking on eggshells with yourself and everything is always so fragile like when ur little and ur favourite teacher yells at you for the first time and every time someone touches you or looks at you and actually sees you it feels like you are going to shatter or something. let me know girl haha
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gatun-gatunesco · 1 year
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...
#and so i came back here. because in here i can find joy and sorrow. laugh a little and cry a lot because someone made a post i resonate with#it makes me feels understood. a private and intimate place that is also shared at the same time. and strangely; like a home#but i came back without knowing who i am. I see someone else in the mirror. Is that a monster? a sinner? a human? a normal man?#after all that effort leaving depression and self hate from my adolescence behind. from being proud of myself for being different to all me#was all a lie? how could i do such awful and terrible thing to the person i swore to protect? the person i love the most#i said i would never do that kind of unforgivable act. And here i am. Alive after the event. I want to drop dead. To dissapear from here.#But at the same time i want to fix what i did. in order to do that i need to heal. to change. be happy. to live. and i hate it#how can i do all of that with the weight of guilt crushing me and telling me i killed myself that day? i am just a shell of who i was#how to change what i thought was the best version of me? i was supposed to be different no harmful and kind man!!!#i already asked for help. and they told me it was not all my fault. But i still think it is. There is no way it can be 50/50#physical actions are only responsibility of the ones who made it. circumstances are not a reason to diminish them guilt#a confused person is not deserving of any part of the guilt. they do not have control over themselves. but the other ones sure have it#yes. they might have started and added little physical actions. but i refused and it never came to completion. which is the opposite of min#physical trauma can spawn emotional and mental trauma as well. is way more bad and deep that the emotional one i might have#i want to kill that trash in front of the mirror. why are you still living bitch? just to be a parasite and hurt people on the go?#to make irreversible mistakes that affects every person around you? your decisions never end well. why do not you just give up already?#and yet here i am. trying to not isolate myself thanks to the safe place i found here. I can write what is on my mind. gives me some relief#because the only person i talked everyday is the same one i hurted as i never thought i would in my life#Hope i can found redemption one day. I hope they can heal and be happy soon and forever.#I am going to always be worry about them (i am sure of that) but i wish nothing but the best for them. I want nothing to hurt them again.#They never deserved the trauma and guilt. They suffered more than enough way before i step in and fucked up everything.#Life. if you can hear me. Please give them recovery. happyness. health and lots of love. They deserve it. Please#They did nothing wrong! Take them pain away and put it in me. I will stay alive just for that if is neccesary#I wanted to kill myself way long ago. but i still here. I might want to kill myself again. but i still will be here.#Just leave them be happy. That is what i really want
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fingertipsmp3 · 2 years
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That ‘is this UK uni accommodation or a Swedish prison’ game is so funny but also so depressing
#literally it’s bringing back flashbacks of my final year of undergrad when i realised i was going to have to live on campus#or close to campus because i’d forgotten how to drive because i’d been in america for a year sans car#but then i missed the deadlines for good acommodation (because america) so i went for the cheapest option that was still available to me#which was a room in a building that ended up being CONDEMNED at the end of that academic year#guys it was so bad. there was racist graffiti all over the walls because no one had any respect for the place#broken glass in the courtyard. no lounge; you had to sit on the metal stairs to hang out#the stairwells just had brick walls. the kitchens were built to be shared by 6 persons maximum but forced to house 9 so they were so cramped#it was unbelieveable. i started eating at weird times so i wouldn’t have to awkwardly stare at someone while waiting for a counter/stovetop#to be free. on top of this there were wasp and silverfish infestations; my window was so drafty that hailstones came in once#the mattresses were full of fiberglass and felt like they were made up entirely of springs; and there were ground-in vomit and piss stains#on my chair and floor#and i paid ~£90.50 per week~ for this#the only thing that kept me sane was the free bus pass. i never missed a class and i went to campus every single day#and attended tons of random events and guest lectures just to not be in my room. i’d be the only person in the library at 8am on a sunday#my flatmates were a bunch of insane first years who drank and screamed at all hours so that didn’t help either. i didn’t make any friends#it was just so bad. there were never any community events taking place either and i saw the RAs exactly once. they were completely useless#reception nearly lost the kindle i ordered. i thought about doing laundry once and saw that the laundry room was absolute unmitigated chaos#so i was like ‘fuck it i’ll just wait until i’m home next weekend’ and i went into town to buy clothes to tide me over#it was just such a horrible experience. and i hate that it’s a universal one#uk universities are really like ‘give us £9k in tuition fees and also pay an arm and a leg for your accommodation.#no we will not be improving our accommodation’ it makes me fucking crazy. like where is my money GOING#you find out they spent millions refurbishing a building that didn’t need to be refurbished and you’re like. you could’ve replaced#the carpet in my room for maybe a couple of hundred quid considering how small the room is#pisses me off. my advice to undergrads is visit potential halls of residence and read reviews of them#and don’t just let them dazzle you with the tour where they only show you the good rooms - poke around. see if there’s damp or wasps#look for stains. etc. or better yet; find a half decent landlord and rent a room in a house#i had a way better time during my master’s and it was because i talked to landlords and visited their houses and brought my nosy mum#and i picked a landlord who only housed postgrads; mature students & professionals. you couldn’t pay me to live in halls again#personal#rant
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qqqqqqqqqqq0 · 2 months
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#i dont know how to tag it and alas i dont really care enough#i was going to draw something but i am a sloth. a lazy brain-rotting tree-dwelling mammal#but i am really really cute so please let it slide#everyone around me keep saying i should try to work as a florist because of my interest in flowers that suddenly appeared half a year ago#honestly speaking i hated flowers for as long as i have existed before that. they were making me depressed#the whole idea of something cute in your hands that is destined to become a withered rotting thing overnight is nothing but depressing#that i was thinking before i learned how to properly take care of cut flowers. now i can make them stay for a bit longer. like a week or so#it is still sad nevertheless. but I guess my perspective on things has changed as well. i am not talking about flowers#more like about life and death#but its too philosophical for a silly gigantic post in my silly little blog so im not going to talk about it#i like to dry flowers. dunno if I do it properly tho#a few days ago i watched kusuriya no hitorigoto in which characters are compared to flowers! there is a dried flower as well#the dried rose there was described as “still beautiful despite the time and harshness it went through”#but the character the rose was alluding to was merely a walking brainless corpse#and in the context it really made sense. these two contradicting facts in actuality create the complete picture of the character#while binging the series i couldnt help but wonder what flower i feel the most relation to#to no avail#someone has gifted me a rose plant approximately a month ago. you can see it on the photo above#but the thing is. i absolutely suck at taking care of living beings. my experience says exactly that. i also hate dirt#i was so perplexed and afraid of causing harm to the plant I completely abandoned it for quite some time#while thinking about it 24/7. reminded me of the time i still had the executive dysfunction#eventually i had to chop off all the leaves and buds leaving only stems with thorns be to keep the plant alive#it was actually my mother who gave it to me. so it is very precious and i really dont want it to die. but my actions somehow say otherwise#anyway. i came up with the idea that i am not a flower but a budless stem with really sharp thorns on it!#i dont really have enough space for the explanation so its up to you to interpret
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kavehater · 3 months
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how to kys without krilling yourself ;-;
#How to stop being anxious and having your heart stop every second without krilling yourself#What I have been doing : crying actual real tears cause I think about kaveh LMFAO#me -> why am i so unloveable ☹️ (sad) … *thinks about kaveh* …. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 (crying my eyes out LMAO)#help I am so insane not a joke I think someone needs to shoot me in the head wowowowowow 😻 pls where is dahlia . . . Her being gone is#Giving me more anxiety#anyways imagine nothing making you cry but then some anime twink who’s been missing for over a year just makes you cry multiple times LOOLL#I think I should be embarrassed … I AM embarrassed 😭😭😭#dora daily#Iiiiiiiiiiiii giiiivveeeeee uppppppp 😻😻😻#I could go on a rant about why and what has happened but honestly I just think it’d fall on deaf ears 🧍‍♀️ so I don’t think it’s worth#Wasting my already very very VERY limited breath on.#The way a dude who tries to use me (discord boy) would’ve told me to go in great detail and listened attentively and I can’t even have my#Actual friends like me enough to want to listen 😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻 no wonder I feel unloveable maybe it’s better to be#Fake loved and used atp than feeling like this. Idek atp I am just so drained completely that even talking is absolutely impossible so I#Wouldn’t even talk to him if I wanted to ;-; so now what ? I remain mute for the rest of my life ? Man I’m sick of this sick of having to#Sleep and that being the only way I don’t rip out my eyeballs or cut off my leg from how insanely weird I feel#Dniewosmsmskaj helpppp 😜#First half of the tags was in just me trying to be funny but the rest is srs 💃 eeee I hate my brain#Sooo anxious helpppp ☺️🔫 anyways marks apparently came out I am not going to ask for a heart attack on top of my already unstable heart so#I won’t check. But I also have sm to do that I couldn’t get done like that fucking timetable it’s been pending since forever I need help 😻#The days are flying and getting merged together I can’t keep count anymore
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pibsboots · 8 months
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I've always had chronic fatigue. I remember being twelve, and an adult mentioned how I couldn't possibly know how tired they felt because adulthood brought levels of exhaustion I couldn't imagine. I thought about that for days in fear, because I couldn't remember the last time I didn't feel tired.
Eventually I came to terms with the fact that I was just tired, and I couldn't do as many things as everyone else. People called me lazy, and I knew that wasn't true, but there's only so many times you can say "I'm tired" before people think it's an excuse. I don't blame them. When a teenager does 20 hours of extracurriculars every week and only says "I'm too tired" when you ask them to do the dishes, it's natural to think it's an excuse. At some point, I started to think the same thing.
It didn't matter that I could barely sit up. It was probably all in my head, and if I really wanted to, I could do it.
When I learned the name for it, chronic fatigue, I thought wow, people that have that must be miserable, because I am always tired and I cannot imagine what it would feel like if it were worse.
Spoiler alert, if you've been tired for a decade, it's probably chronic fatigue.
Once I figured that out though, I thought of my energy as the same as everyone else's, just smaller in quantity. And that might be true for some people, but I've figured out recently that it absolutely isn't true for me.
I used to be like wow I have so much energy today I can do this whole list for sure! And then I'd do the dishes and have to lay down for 2 hours. Then I'd think I must gave misjudged that, I didn't have as much energy as I thought.
But the thing is - I did have enough energy for more tasks, I just didn't go about them properly.
With chronic fatigue, your maximum energy is obviously much smaller than the average person's. Doing the dishes for you might use up the same percentage of energy that it takes to do all the daily chores for someone else.
If someone without chronic fatigue was to do all the daily chores, they would take breaks. Because otherwise, they're sprinting a marathon for no reason and it would take way more energy than necessary. We have to do the same.
Put the cups in the dishwasher, take a break. Put the bowls in, take a break. So on and so forth. This may mean taking breaks every 2-5 minutes but afterwards, you get to not feel like you've run a marathon while carrying 4 people on your back.
Today, I had a moderate amount of energy. Under my old system of go till you drop, I probably could have done most of the dishes and wiped off the counter and then been dead to the world for the rest of the day.
Under the new system, I scooped litter boxes, cleaned out the fridge, took the trash out, cleaned the stove, and wiped off the counter and did all the dishes. And after all that, I still had it in me to make a simple dinner, unload the dishwasher, and tidy the kitchen.
It was complete and utter insanity. Just because I sat down whenever I felt myself getting more tired than I already was.
All this to say, take fucking breaks. It's time to unlearn the ceaseless productivity bullshit that capitalism has shoved down our throats. Its actively counterproductive. Just sit down. Drink some water. Rest your body when it needs to rest.
There will still be days where there is nothing to do but rest, and days where half a load of dishes is absolutely the most I can do. But this method has really helped me minimize those, which is so incredibly relieving.
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rose-tinted-nostalgia · 5 months
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#I know life is hard and we shouldn't take it personally and we should never expect people to coddle us and blah blah#but really I would like to just survive one day without someone being mean to me#I don't even need a day of people being nice#truly I would just take one completely mundane day where I didn't get cursed out or yelled at or spoken down to#and yes I'm well aware this is partially my fault because one person in particular I surround myself with is trash#but it's not just him#my sister cursed me out and accused me of insulting her because I said I didn't agree with her on something#I didn't even say she was wrong I legit told her her feelings were valid and that it was just hard for me to see it from the same#perspective#and when she got upset i took it all back and said I was wrong and apologized and still she berated me over messenger until I cried because#I didn't know what else to say#and even though I'm sick#I got up and cooked dinner for my family and I cleaned up the whole mess and put it all away but I didn't do the dishes because I was#struggling and had to lay back down#and my mom came out and did not say thanks for dinner or thanks for cleaning up or anything of the sort#she came out rolled her eyes scoffed gestured to the dishes in the sink and said you have a mess here#and then proceeded to complain about how I didn't do the dishes#and that's stupid to let that bother me but I swear it's an every day thing and like I was so proud of myself for getting up and cooking an#cleaning up my mess because I was struggling to get out of bed at all#and still all she can bring up is the negative and no matter what i do it's always like that never a positive note#and for the record my mom lives with me for free taking over my son's bedroom it's not like i left dishes in her house it's my dishes in my#house#and ofc my son's father found a way to yell at me but i don't even count that anymore#and i'm just emotionally drained#and it feels like lately it's just an every day thing and i'm so fucking tired#I can't remember the last time someone said anything kind to me at all and that's not an exaggeration#no one ever says i love you or i'm proud of you or thanks for doing that or this helps alot or you got this or you're good at this#and I just wish someone could see something good in me for once
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